#thank you so much for telling me the exact same thing for the past 5 years of my life and doing absolutly nothing to help!!
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periwinkle-the-11th · 2 years ago
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Vent post
I find it a lot of fun when people tell me to get out and do some exercise to help with my mental health like yeah sure that sounds great in theory, but i also have physical health issues. I would LOVE to go on a walk. unfortunately, most days i can't walk from one side of my house to the other. Taking a long hot shower sounds amazing! but some days I can barely stand, and heat makes it 10x worse. Not only do I have to convince myself to get out of bed, I have to wonder whether or not I can get out of bed without the head rushing, breathless, dizzy, disorienting, vision blackouts that haunt me.
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kavehater · 1 day ago
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It’s crazy cause ever since I was crying the other day, I stopped then looked at the mirror and it’s almost like the face dysmorphia momentarily vanished and I was like maybe …. I am being too hard on myself and that I don’t look like my brain was telling me … and I was so surprised like as if I saw myself for the first time and I just kept staring at my reflection bc I couldn’t believe it like the dysmorphia it was GONE !!! And then I stared so long it came back so booo tomato tomato 🍅🍅🍅🍅
#dora daily#but now I keep glancing at a mirror and I don’t feel repulsive to look at GASPPPP#KICKING MY FEET I AM SOOO HAPPY YOU KNOW !!!#LIKE IDK WHATS CHANGED BUT ITS INSANE !#nobody will ever get how bad I would feel abt myself like if I get a glimpse of myself in public like passing a window I literally look the#other way SO FAST bc if I look longer I’d just end up shrinking deeper within myself completely and it’ll get too much#and then I’d feel this compulsion to just get a paper bag from somewhere or something to just cover my face so nobody sees it#it’s very frightening and stressful#having face / body dysmorphia is horrible bc I feel like I can barely do anything#sometimes I need to take a picture of myself bc of like a license or smth and for the uni sometimes I need to do that#but I’d have to do it after am forcing myself to do so bc I genuinely can’t do it#I feel like I’ve been holding onto dead weight in terms of my appearance for so long#these comments abt my hair my eyes my mouth ? these are the exact things I get compliments on ???#like sm ppl say curly hair is the prettiest ever#like all these comments were from my dads family Aka the family I literally got these genes from …#but despite them thrashing my appearance when I was younger whenever I call they’re always yelling salawat bc they’re like OMG YOURE SO#PRETTY etc etc etc and it’s so much whiplash bc my brain is so stuck in the past of them telling me all these features are ugly#fyi I look THE EXACT SAME as I did when I was younger. 😭#I’m the type of person who looks like a carbon copy of what she did at 5 yrs old#just older a bit of course LOL#anyways I’m certain the dysmorphia will come back#but in the meantime I think I will try to be thankful that even at least for a little while I can feel a bit more comfortable#and a little less imposing on others for my skewed self perceptions- in my own skin#yay !!!
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appleblueberry-pie · 10 months ago
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MORE YANDRE MILES PLSS I LOVE THEM
im just gonna put whatever comes to mind. trying to be as unhinged as you guys let me be. tell me if you want worse/weirder. fem reader.
Miles stopped caring about how fucked up he became when it comes to you. It doesn't matter when you're his only form of bliss he can find anymore. he kills every night. he can't sleep. he drains his mind and body every day. he has school grades to worry about and how he's gonna get the next 5 thousand from that one gang he made an agreement with two weeks ago. and, yet with the drugs he sees being slipped into people's hands on the way to school, and the syringes he feels cracking under his clean J's, the only thing that's pure enough to cleanse his mind, body, and soul is you. everyone wears the same shit to school every day, but you make it fit your personality and looks perfectly.
cut to the chase, he can't help but imagine being skin to skin with you every night. he wants you to rake your fingers into his scalp. fuck the fresh braids, he needs your nails on his skin. scratch his back, scalp, arms, anything. he wants marks of you on him any way possible. too young for certain activities, but when it comes to you, he'll fucking murder anyone. drug anyone, kill anyone for you. he hates when you pass him and he catches a whiff of your perfume, or even better, your natural musk. because he'll just stay in his head for the next few days. you're his high. he needs you.
he wants you to talk into his ears all damn day and never stop. he wants to hear you whisper, talk, laugh, cry, yell. everything. he never sees you crack a single smile in the science class you guys take together. But when he sees you howling your fucking ass off with your close friends, pushing, grabbing your friends, giggling, squealing with them, it just sets his whole body on fire. he's so fucking jealous of them, he just breaks anything in his vicinity at the thought of not having what you're giving them. he then began to wonder how he could have you for himself. he just wants you to give him all of you, and he'd obviously give you himself. why can't he have that?
when you pair up with him for a project in that science class you both share, he never thanked god so so so much in 15 seconds like he did when you began walking over to where he sat.
it gave him an excuse to stare at you and drink in every square inch of your body like he'd see an angel once and never see it again until he died. he greedily drinks in your scent while you speak. being able to see, hear, smell, and feel you if he tries hard enough, is almost overstimulating for him. he's great at hiding his emotions, but on the inside he wonders if this is what it feels like to take heroine. when you ask him a question about possible presentation ideas, he almost asks you to sit on his lap so he can hear you better.
Miles has been having maladaptive daydreams about you for the past year or so. so it was very difficult in that moment for him to separate his dreams from reality when he finally got a chance to communicate with you. before you left the class to get to your next period, you had already typed your number in his phone. he had already formed in his mind a way to locate your exact living apartment number. that way he can sneak in when you aren't there. miles needs you in his arms as soon as possible.
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silksongeveryday · 1 year ago
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Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 200!!!
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(huge thanks to this person for the art suggestion!! <3)
I genuinely can’t believe that I’ve made it to 200 days, it’s truly been wild how time flies by like that and the amount of doodles I’ve made during that time. Over 200 doodles (217 to be exact if we’re counting double pictures/extra doodles) have been made over the past 200 days. :0
And thank you all so much for the love and support! Not only have we reached 200 days but also 1400+ followers about a week ago! <3
But, having said that I’d like to make a few announcements—some good, some not so great—about a few things regarding the blog, myself, and other stuff.
Putting it all under the cut so the post isn’t long if you’d like to know more
______________________________
Announcements!
My pfp!
1.) I’ll be changing my pfp again!! I’ve officially decided that after every 100 days or so I’ll change up the pfp so it’s up to date with my doodle style (assuming it changed at all lol), but generally it’ll look relatively the same as the last!
Possibly more admins?
2.) As of right now I’m looking into the idea/possibility of having a second (maybe third?) person help me with daily doodles! As much as I’d like to keep doodling everyday there are some days that it can be tough or some situation might be happening. (i.e. recently got injured)
See, the problem is I don’t exactly have a proper way of trying this out??? My idea was to maybe do this through dms or more preferably Google Forms. I also don’t really know what form of communication afterward would be best either, suggestions to help me work this out would be great! (as you can tell I’m not very good at this stuff lol)
Commissions!
3.) After much consideration and a lot of thought, I’ve decided that in the near future, I’ll be opening commissions again for the first time in years. I don’t have everything set up quite yet, but expect more info in the near future!
About requests:
4.) You may have noticed recently that I haven’t been doing as many doodle requests recently. Sure, there’s usually quite a few in a row at once but you may have noticed I’ve also been doing “non-requested” doodles aka ones that I just do on my own.
Expect this to become a very normal thing going forward. I probably won’t be doing as many requests as before because frankly with the amount of requests I get daily when it’s open is a lot to handle sometimes. Does this mean requests will be stopped entirely? No, I’ll still do some occasionally, but not as much as I have in the past.
Also I’ll likely be doing strictly anonymous requests.
About Burnout:
5.) Alright let’s address the elephant in the room.
There have been quite a few instances where people have wondered if I would ever have burnout and have occasionally joked about “dying” from said burnout because “Silksong will never release, you’ll be doing this forever” etc etc.
In the past I’ve been fine, motivation has been great, but recently I’ve noticed it a little bit.
Unfortunately life has its own plans so it can be a little hard for me to make a doodle that day, expecially recently since I’ve been experiencing personal/medical issues. It’s part of the reason I’m hoping to get a second (maybe third) person to help me do daily doodles so I can take a little bit of the load off my shoulders.
So what does this mean for this blog?
Not much right now. But in the future, there may be some changes. My current plan is to keep going on daily doodles/posts for the length of a standard year, so roughly 365 days. After that, if things in personal life keep up the way they have, I may have to stop daily doodles and instead will post only if I have time. That likely means doodles every other day or every three days or something. At the very least I’ll still post a doodle once a week.
Not to worry though! I’ll still try my best even after I reach day 365 :)
I’ll discuss how things work a little more on my main @miizori later, but that’s as much as I can think to explain rn.
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Just a few more things I wanted to say!
This community has been so cool to interact with, so much tamer than some others I’ve been apart of in the past. I’m genuinely thankful for how much support and how nice everyone has been. I truly didn’t expect to get this far, I was fully expecting to have stopped like 10 doodles in lol. I especially love to see all your comments in the tags and people sharing their art. You’re all so cool :)))
I have a dtiys from back when I reached 300 followers that’s still available if you’re feeling up to it!
Also my main (again, @miizori) is where I make updates on doodle stuff, regular art stuff and so on if you’re interested at all in that lol
I think that’s all that I can remember wanting to say, so thanks!! I look forward to more doodles for you all :)
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ronancecats · 5 months ago
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My opinions on EVERY romantic stranger things ship (at least the ones I could think of, if I missed a ship you care about let me know and ill tell you what i think)
And of course, these are my OPINIONS and aren't that serious 🙏🙏 you can ship whatever the hell you want as long as it's not illegal.
I love making posts like these and sharing my opinions so please keep it respectful even if I don't like your ship, thank you :)
Mileven (Mike x Eleven): solid 8/10. I think they're cute in the 1st season and they have their moments, but their chemistry is definitely feeling more forced recently and I just don't see them working out.
Byler (Will x Mike): definitely a 10/10, it just makes sense. Byler proof is so thick and it's so obvious to anyone who actually cares to look. I'm not a hardcore shipper or anything but they're happening.
Willel (Will x Eleven): get this shit out of here bro, -10/10. Like Will is gay and they're practically siblings 😭
Wheelson (Dustin x Mike): there's nothing wrong with this ship, I just don't see it and I haven't seen enough content to base my opinion off of that so 0/10.
Wheelclair (Mike x Lucas): again, just don't see it and haven't seen enough content. So 0/10, however, I feel like their dynamic could be cute in both a romantic and platonic sense.
Byclair (Will x Lucas): I don't see it ever happening but oh my lord y'all the fan art and content for them is so cute so they get a solid 3/10 purely for the cuteness.
Byson (Will x Dustin): I've never seen any content for this. Like at all. I don't think anyone ships this. 0/10 only because I haven't seen anything to make me want to ship this.
Henclair (Lucas x Dustin): y'all... they're so cute. Here me out, the fics, the fan art, the dynamics, it's amazing. They get a 5/10.
Lumax (Lucas x Max): 10/10, angel babies, would die for them. I need them to have a happy ending and if they don't, I won't have a happy ending
Elmax (Eleven x Max): they're so stinking cute, 9/10. As much as I love lumax, I think the dynamics of this ship and just the thought of it is perfection.
Madwheeler (Max x Mike): eh...no. 0/10. They are like the same person and would kill each other in any other scenario. However, platonically? Yes please!
Henfield (Max x Dustin): 4/10. They have potential but they both have such better ships.
Duzie (Dustin x Suzie): 9/10. I am a SUCKER for nerd x nerd ships and I need them to have at least one scene together. Just one. Like please duffers, I need to see them just once.
Jancy (Jonathan x Nancy): 1000/10 YES YES YES YES. MY BABIES, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. PLEASE DUFFERS, MAKE UP ALL THAT FUCKERY IN S4 AND GIVE THEM A HAPPY ENDING!!
Stancy aka Stanky (Steve x Nancy): -10/10. I hate this ship so much. Nancy "I don't think my parents ever loved each other. My mom was younger and my dad was older with a cushy job and made good money. So they got married and bought a house at the end of a cul-de-sac and started their nuclear family" Wheeler would EVER settle down with 6 kids. Ever. There was 0 reason to bring back the love triangle. Let Steve move on and let Nancy be happy, Jesus 😭
Ronance (Nancy x Robin): 100/10. There's a reason this page is called ronancecats. I love them so much and even though they will never happen, it's fun to think about. Every piece of ronance fan art is gorgeous and the fics are everything to me. Plus, Natalia is like the president of the ronance shipping club. "All hail Natalia Dyer," we all say in unison.
Rockie/Rovickie (Robin x Vickie): 6/10. They're cute but they literally made Vickie an exact carbon copy of Robin and it's boring. I really hope they build on Vickie's character next season because they are boring and lack depth.
Stobin (Steve x Robin): absolutely not. Get out. -100000000/10. Robin. Is. A. Lesbian. She. Likes. Boobies. Not. Greasy. Men. They. Are. Platonic. Soulmates.
Steddie (Steve x Eddie): 4/10. Their fan art is cool and the dynamic I like, but I just can't get past it. I don't like them all that much.
Harringgrove (Steve x Billy): no thank you, no toxic ships here. 0/10.
Stonathan (Jonathan x Steve): hell yes. 9/10. I'm not even sure why but they are just perfect in my mind. The dynamics are there and the fan art is perfection, plus I just think the idea of them fighting over Nancy but then turning to each other is kinda cute.
Jargyle (Jonathan x Argyle) 8/10. I don't think about them much but whenever I do I love it. They're idiots but two idiots that are better together idk about y'all.
Neddie (Nancy x Eddie): Eddie can NOT handle all that (but I can) 0/10.
Reddie (Robin x Eddie): 0/10. Both these bitches are gay so get out.
Hellcheer (Eddie x Chrissy): gives me the ick. I'm not ever sure why but they do and all their scenes just feel like there's no romantic undertones, at least to me. So 2/10.
Buckingham (Chrissy x Robin): this is what I'm talking about. A popular cheerleader having an existential crisis when she realizes she's a lesbian and not only that but realizes she's in love with the social outcast? Hell yes. 9/10. Give it to me.
Bancy (Nancy x Barb): 6/10. They are tragic.
Jopper (Joyce x Hopper): 10/10. My parents fr, they raised me. Everything about them makes me happy and I love them.
Boyce (Bob x Joyce): 7/10. Cuties and it's so obvious Bob cared about her and the kids. Jopper will forever be better but I can't ignore their cuteness.
Jaren (Joyce x Karen): okay y'all, hear me out...8/10. I love the idea of this so much and every single fic I've read is so well written and incredible. Lesbian Karen Wheeler truthers unite.
Murlexi (Murray x Alexi) 7/10. I like the idea of them and I will support any content I see of them even though I'm not a hardcore shipper.
Murray x Joyce (what are they called?): 0/10. Nope, nope, nope on a rope.
Okay, anyway y'all those are my opinions on a bunch of stranger things ships that I've seen. Please be respectful even if you don't agree, these are literally opinions about a FICTIONAL show and FICTIONAL relationships with FICTIONAL characters and aren't that deep.
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schumigrace · 10 months ago
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My life will, quite literally, never be the same.
I moved to the motorsport county for a multitude of reasons, but having Silverstone on my doorstep was at the top of the list.
The mileage counter in my beaten-up racing green Vauxhall has racked up most of it's digits on the A43 through Towcester, I can tell you the exact position of every road sign painted with a brown rectangle, a chequered flag next to the word "Silverstone". I could tell you which direction the track is in from anywhere in the world, as if it's Wing shaped roof hangs like a petrol-laden North Star. All roads lead to Silverstone, you may say (no-one has ever said this)
So, Grace, I hear you asking, how often do you go?
Never.
That is, of course, until I received an email from God herself (the Aston Martin F1 Team Marketing Analyst) informing me of my invitation to their AMR24 Launch. An invitation I very obviously accepted, after 24 hours worth of crying, screaming, and stalking said marketing analyst on LinkedIn to make sure this was not in fact some messed up kind of joke
So it's 7 in the morning, I'm doing my usual commute through the god-awful traffic hell that is Northamptonshire, only this time I'm not going straight ahead on the Silverstone Bypass, I am taking the ever elusive right turn into the brand new Aston Martin Technology Centre and being handed a visitor's pass
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The first thing I notice is that they've only gone and put a bloody AMR23 (with the new livery) right in the middle of the lobby, it's covered up at this point, and I'm staring daggers through the cover just daring it to be riddled with carbon fibre underneath. AMR team members are floating around like green angels everywhere I look, shelves are adorned with this past year's trophies (I make a comment to a passing team member - "you'll need more shelves after this year", she chuckles and moves on - I try not to take this is a bad sign)
8 o'clock hits, the official launch video plays, and the cover is removed. jesus fucking christ she's green. thank fuck. I can go home now.
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Oh, hang on, is that Mike Krack?
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Shit it is.
Mike has a shakedown to run of course, so he doesn't hang around for too long. He's confident in this car though, they've been working on it for years, and he's sure we'll be quick out of the gate. Off he goes across the road to the garage. "Don't worry," they say, "you'll be going over to watch the cars on track too."
Sorry, can you repeat that please, I believe you just said we are going to go over to the track to watch the cars.
"Yes of course, but not before we ply you with cake and coffee, naturally, oh and also Pedro De La Rosa is here along with Jessica Hawkins. Do you want to chat to them?"
I ask Pedro where he and Fernando went to dinner last night. Somewhere in Oxford I think, I stopped listening, I was thinking about how much I would be willing to be a thir-
Anyway.
At this point no photos are allowed for the rest of the day, they are literally building the car right in front of you no you cannot put that on social media.
We're heading across the road now, along the Hamilton straight and up around Stowe, we head past the Porsche Experian Centre and I make some vague comment about Webbonso that nobody picks up on. Nevermind. We turn left just before Maggots and Becketts to head towards the pit lane, and into the Aston Martin garage.
The smell of petrol is so overwhelmingly strong and I make sure every single cell of my lungs is scarred from it. A batak machine is being set up and I joke "wouldn't it be funny if someone beat Jenson Button's world record today". Someone did, not even 5 minutes later. A wave of "get Jenson on the phone!" fills the garage.
I turn around, Stoffel Vandoorne and Felipe Drugovich are on a stage talking about how exciting it is to see the car, or at least they're trying to look excited. I'm not sure Drugo knows what that even means.
Lawrence Stroll is talking to a mechanic and I can literally hear the thousands of dollars dropping into his bank account with every heartbeat. Surely his son is nearby? Oh yes, right infront of us. Imagine that. (Lance did of course look gorgeous, his racesuit tied around his waist, laughing with his engineers like the whore he is)
We're heading over to the PU station now and the wonderful AM team member is talking us through the specifics of it, but I haven't heard a single word she has said, because unfortunately for her Fernando has decided to enter the garage at that exact moment. I am stood near a space heater, and he locks eyes on me (nope, the space heater) immediately. He makes his way over and sticks his backside directly towards the heater and my face is about as red as the radiator.
"Good morning! How are you?"
I have so many words to say to you right now, and not a single one of them is in a language that either of us can understand. I think I eventually vomitted up some form of acceptable response, however, because he smiled at me.
"Are you cold?"
"Only a little" I respond. Not anymore, I'm picturing myself under you, I think.
I totally lost a good hour after this because there's not a single memory here for me to put into words, damn you Alonso
The blur fades with the freezing air outside, and we're stood on the pitwall. Sky Sports are here now and have us doing media stuff, I run as far away from them as possible and climb onto the pitwall. FIA, if you're reading this, I promise I kept both feet on the ground at all times.
They tell us the shakedown isn't going to plan, suprise surprise, and you actually cannot see the car on track today. I mentally curl into a ball and sob the whole way back to the AMRTC but all of a sudden we are being led to mission control and the composite engineering stations and they are, literally, building a car infront of us whatthefuckishappening
By this point I have recovered from my minor sulk - Grace this is literally the best day of your life get over yourself - and then we're being told that as an apology they have hired a room in the Hilton Hotel opposite the pitlane, free food and drinks for as long as we want, oh and... cars on track. all. day. long.
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Whilst writing this i received another email from biblically-accurate marketing analyst god asking for feedback. I think a string of letters indicating incessant shrieking will probably do the trick
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persephone11110 · 1 year ago
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Hot and Cold
J.S x Reader
Warnings:quiet reader/happy/confident, protective j.s, mention of past oc death, soft jake seresin, fake date->real dating at the end, bad date, medical inaccuracy, naval inaccuracy, ooc j.s a bit, curse words
Summary: two times jake seresin was secretly in love with y/n l/n and the one time he made sure you knew too.
ofc: Y/n“Mouse”L/n
AN: This is so random, this is me taking a break from Fallen Angel. I’ve read 5+1 b4 from different fandoms but make mine 2+1 bcus i don’t have the brain cells to do that. I don’t know if I like this ENJOY ❤️
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1. the hard deck
“Kiss me baby”
“Ooh, that feels good”
You leaned against the bar alone sipping on your sparkling water quietly. As much as you loved Rooster’s singing— it was loud and made everyone around you in bar loud. You flinched at the shouts that echoed throughout the bar— you knew everyone was just having fun—something you didn’t quite understand yet.
“You hate Bradshaw’s voice too?” a southern drawl calls out to you. You look back to a man with set of gorgeous green eyes. Holy shit he’s fine.
“H..Hi Seresin” your voice suddenly stuttering—nervousness was rising at the sight of the man.
You instantly recognized the man Hangman, the man that leaves everyone in his dust cloud. He gently puts his hand on your back guiding you to a pair of seats outside.
After pulling out your chair Jake gently smiles at you—“Sorry about that Y/n I couldn’t hear over that chicken shit”. He full on smirking, back at home Jake has a little brother Riley who has the exact same tendencies as you. Shy and Quiet-pratically acts like a ghost.
“Jake” you shot him a disapproving look. “Be kind to Rooster”.
“Why should I Mouse?”, he glances at you, your not dumb you could feel and see the deep hatred the two men have for each other. He sips at his beer before putting it back down on the table.
You sighed,“Because whether you like it or not Rooster might be the one up there with you”. You say easily, you know what it feels like to lose someone up in the air. The feeling of someone’s death weighing on conscious day and night— the infamous What If’s.
He shrinks back—“Who, if you don’t mind me asking ya sweetheart?”. He reaches over and grabs your hand lightly—there’s no heat behind his words, his face is soft and gentle— you could see the real him and not his facade Hangman.
Icarus flew too close to the sun. a teardrop fell from your face.
Painful memories crashed your mind, the day Y/n died, having to listen to banshee like cries of his mother and wife combined. Watching his casket get carefully laid into the ground.
“Me and my wso were shot down in enemy territory”.— it’s classified can’t give to much away. “I know I don't why you and Rooster have differences but all i’m saying is that the last thing you both need is death weighing you down”.
“Thank you Y/n”, Jake cards his fingers over your knuckles.“But I need to get back to terrorizing everyone around me”.
Jake wishes he could stay longer, leaving you is the last thing he wants. But if he stayed longer Jake might confess his feelings for you. Cant have that before a big mission, can we?
“Bye Hangman”, you waved him away.
He stood up and gently dropped a kiss onto your head.
“Bye Mouse”
I think I’m in love with her.
2. record store
Leave it to loudmouth Phoenix to tell the daggers you had a date tonight. And if you remember correctly Jake had look like he taken a bite into a lemon, sour and confused of why you had a date. When you could be dating him.
“Come on Y/n, your going ditch takeout with me for a random date tonight?”, His eyes fan over to you, as you stood at his kitchen sink.
“Well excuse me Seresin some of us weren’t grace with beauty like others”, you snapped, throwing your lipstick in your purse hastily.
“Goodbye Jake”, you turned on your heel not daring to look back to see if Jake even cared enough to come after you.
You lonely walked the aisles of the record store alone, it was too good to be true, why would a man like Jordan waste him time on you. Maybe you weren’t destined for love—maybe your life would end with you being old cat lady who’s suffered from a broken heart decades early.
You found yourself standing infront of various records Ready to Die, At Last, Enter The Wutang—36 Chambers. All of your favorites album.
“Well at least I know music taste”, God damn it you recognized the arrogant accent from anywhere.
You counted to five before turning around to see Jake. “H-Hello”, you stutter out, Jake was in a three piece suit, with a bouquet of lily’s in his hand. Your favorite flowers, the suit you helped him pick out weeks ago.
“Hey there darlin”, he leans over you—dropping a kiss onto your hair. “I’m sorry for being a bastard”, Jake softly apologizes to you. Your taken back at the softness of his voice.
“How did you—”, you cut yourself off unsure if really wanted the answer.
“Easy, Bradshaw told me that jackass was at the hard deck with a girl hanging off his arm”. , Your shoulders deflated with sadness, you were right- no man is going to spend time with a woman like you. Tears trickled down your face—“Hey, Hey sweetheart whats with the tears?”. His voice more softer.
Your shoulders bounce with sadness at your face found it’s self into the crook of Jake’s neck. “I just wished someone loved me”, you mumbled, to him yet he could hear how much emotion filled your words.
“Come on sweetheart, what do you think i’m doing down here”, he pulls you from him—“You don’t need that jackass to have fun, you have me?”, he whispered into your ear.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah” he promised, “I booked us a reservation at Gio’s, and besides Bradshaw and Trace tossed Jordan on his ass after they caught him”. A bit of laughter came out your mouth as you smiled. “Two black eyes and a suit don’t mix well together”, he lightly poked at you.
“Fine Seresin”, you interlocked arms with him, “Lead the way”.
He could feel his heart throb with excitement.
“Alrighty Y/n you win”. you and Jake walked arm and arm to his car before he opens the car door for you, ushering you into his car. You flashed a smile at him.
I think I’m in love with her.
3. uss?(day of the mission)
“I came to see Lieutenant Jake Seresin”, your tone wavering with fear, logically you knew he was fine—you saw him and Bradley shake hands and smile at each other. But that didn’t mean anything to you, not after you lost Hunter in the air.
“Lieutenant L/n” the doctor tone drenched with stress, “Seresin is busy—”, she was cut off by a southern accent filled with arrogance.
“I’m very good. In fact, I am too good to be true.”, the doctor scoffs-sidestepping, granting you access to Jake.
The cocky son of bitch was laid out on the cot with a grin on his face. “Haven’t see you in a bit sweetheart”. He was laying there as if he hadn’t almost lost his life.
You must’ve allowed some type of emotion to cross your face because the next thing you knew a brusied Jake was pulling down with towards him. Your head tucked under his chin, as you both laid in silence.“Feeling that Y/n?”, he drawled out.
“Yeah I do”, your voice is gentle. “J..Jake I thought I lost you”, your voice wavered.
“I know sweetheart I thought I did too”, he sits up with you in his lap.“I had to save Pops and Rooster you know that right?”.
“Without a doubt”, you managed to run your fingers through his hair. “And you did amazing job of that too, whilst also scaring the shit outta of me”.
“I’m surprised Cyclone isn’t here yet, tearing me a new one”, Jake tells you—adding a kiss to your hand.
“He’s coming soon for a debrief, and the last thing he needs is two of his top lieutenants laid up in bed together Jake”. you tried moving from his embrace.
Jake easily held you back“Y/n I really don’t give a damn right now”.
“Jake”, you said.
“What sweetheart?”.
“Kiss me”, you playfully puckered your lips out.
“God damn darlin took you look enough”, his hand cupped the back of your head.
“I’m in love with her”
250 notes · View notes
astraysimp · 8 months ago
Text
Mini Binnie
I'm back-kinda! This is based on this ask
Hi everyone! I am back with my first full fic in a while! Sorry it has taken me so long, I have had many many many mental breakdowns BUT I AM FEELING BETTER AND DRINKING WATEER! YIPPEE!  This is for my lovely 🍒 anon! Who is my first request, like ever, so thank you lovely anon! I saw the words chunky baby and i KNEW  I had to whip something up. Soooooo, enjoy my loves!!!!
Pairing: Changbin x reader AND BINNA (THE CHUNKY BUBBA)
Warnings: this might suck bc I haven’t sat down and written a full fic in a while so I sorry, dad!changbinnie, 10 month old Binna( our chunky bubby), FLUFF FLUFF,, italicized text indeicates reference to the past, pet names,simp binnie, playful teasing,fem!reader, let me know if i missed anything 
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* 
10 months ago, you and your husband Changin welcomed your daughter into this world. Her name is Binna and she is yours and Changbin’s world. Changbin was the proudest dad to be and is now the proudest dad. 
Even in your 42 week pregnancy— Binna came late, loving her warm, safe home in your belly a little too much— he was proudly telling everyone and everyone that he came across that he was going to be a dad. And when i say everyone, i mean everyone. He told strangers, his bandmates ( like a million and one times), JYP, his managers, he told STAY on bubble and in lives, he told his stylists, his bandmates’ stylists, he even told you. 
Currently, you were about 30 weeks into your pregnancy. So, your bump was round and proud. You and Changbin wer5e cuddled on your couch, watching your favorite k-drama as he rubbed your belly. Turning to you, an ecstatic giggle tumbled from his lips. “Yes, jagi?” you asked him, pausing the drama on the Tv in front of you. “I’m going to be a dad.” He giggled, his hands caressing your bump. “Yes, you are, Binnie.’ you patted his hand and laughed. “A baby. Our baby, jagiya!” he exclaimed, he was just exploding with excitement. Yes, you knew you were having a baby, your bump proving the point. But, you couldn’t crush his cute excitement.
Pressing a kiss to his cheek, you giggled. “You know, i hope she looks like you, binnie.” Gasp, “yah! You can;t just say things like that to me, yeobo!” he pouted. “Why not, my binnie?” You giggled, pinching his  plump cheek. Oh, that’s why. Sniffling, he whined and whined. “I’ll cry, jagiyaaaaaa.” oh, he was so cute. “Baby, why are you crying?” 
“You said you hope our baby looks like me,” he sniffled out.
And you thought your pregnancy hormones were all over the board. Well, at least he’s cute. 
Holding his cheeks in your hands, you pressed a plethora of soft kisses all around the perimeter of his face. “Waaahhhhhhh. My Binnie is so cute!”  you google out, seeing a soft crimson blush rise up his neck, cover his cheeks and tint his ears. “Why is my hubby blushing? You’re too cute?” nYou teased, his eyes crinkling as his perfectly straight pearly white teeth flashed with his wide grin. “You’re making me! Yeoboooooo!” 
“How am i  making you blush, huh binnie?” you giggled, as his hands resumed their usual belly rubbing. Such belly rubbing causing your already daddy’s girl to kick from her secure place in your womb. Laughing, you pinched his cheeks, “see. Even Binna thinks her appa’s cute!” 
Again, he giggled, as a blush tinted his cheeks again.
“Shush, yeobo.”
That was a little over 11 months ago. Since then, you and Changbin have been soaking up the precious times with your baby girl. When she became Earth side, you remember how chubby she was– and still is. Her late birth made her a chunky and squishy baby. 10 pounds and 5 ounces to be exact. So, safe to say, Binna is a chunky girl. And a replica of her appa– big brown doe eyes, the same smile, raven black her and the same giggle.
Oh, her giggle, one to match her appa’s. 
Currently, you were sitting next to Changbin on your couch, a 10 month old Binna on his lap. She was giggling and hitting her hands against his chest as Changbin’s lips were blowing raspberries on her cheeks. “Hi, Binna! Binna bear!” you cooed, leaning over to press a kiss to her cheek. 
Giggling, she squealed and turned her head to look at you. “Eomma!” she squealed– although her first word was appa. Something Changbin was very  proud of and told everyone. “Hi baby doll! Are you having so much fun?” you perched, as one of her small, chubby hands reached towards you.
Taking her hand in your, you smiled and playfully bit at it. “Eomma! Eomma!” She exclaimed, plopping herself to lay against Changbin’s chest. Smiling, Changbin held her close to his chest, his hands supporting her back and legs. “My binna bear, give appa some love,” he pouted, pressing his lips to her forehead. Gasping, she looked up at him, her pink lips forming a small o-shape, before forming a gummy smile as she giggled. “Appa!” she exclaimed, her short legs kicking. 
reaching her arms up, she pressed her hands against his cheeks, smooshing them to make a fish face. “Appa!” She squealed, loud, high pitched giggles falling from her lips. “Ppo-ppo?” Changbin asked, hands lightly tapping on her bum, as he puckered his lips even more. Puckering her own lips, Binna raised herself to be level with Changbin’s face. 
What Changbin thought would be his daughter giving him a sweet kiss, was not that. 
Puckering her lips, Binna leaned and bit down on Changbin’s chin. “I-Binna bear, what are you doing, bubba? I wanted a kiss.” He laughed, feeling her nomming and gumming at his chin. The cold wetness of her drool coating the slightly stubbled skin of his chin. “Okay, princess, come here,” you cooed.
Leaning back, you carefully lifted her off his chin and subsequently off of his chest. “Yah! Yah yah yah, I still haven’t gotten my kiss,” Changbin whined, seeing Binna curl into your hold, her hands holding a tight grasp onto your shirt, as you peppered her chubby face in kisses. “Oh hush, let me love on my princess,” you retorted. “Binnie, you get plenty plenty plenty of kisses. Doesn’t he, princess? Doesn’t appa get so many kisses?” You smiled, as she giggled and kicked her feet. “Eomma! Eomma ppo-ppo!” She giggled, smacking her lips together. “Yes, baby. Kisses for eomma,” you giggled, kissing her lips. 
Pouting, Changbin leaned over, with his lips puckered. “Not fair, jagiya! I want Binna kisses too,” he pouted, watching Binna smack her lips onto yours. “How about me, binna bear?” He pouted, leaning in to try to steal a kiss. “Eomma kiss!” She squealed back, much to Changbin’s dismay and chagrin. “Wha-why not appa, binna bear?” He pouted, pretending to sniffle.
What a dramatic man. Hanging out with Hyunjin too much,although he would disagree.
Laughing, you squeezed binna to your chest as she kissed your cheeks. “Waaah! Thank you, angel! So many kisses for eomma!” You laughed, watching as Changbin’s jaw dropped. Bro was flabbergasted, appalled, taken aback. He was shook. 
“Wh-why does eomma get kisses but not me, binna?” all Binna did was giggle, continuing to give you kisses. Squealing happily, Binna laid her small chunky body against your chest and smiled. “Because she loves meeeeeeeee. Isn’t that right, princess?” You cooed, rocking her back and forth in your arms. “Love eomma so much so much, huh, Binna bear?” Nodding her head, she pressed her lips against yours before resorting to laying her chubby cheek against your shoulder.
Maybe, she wasn’t so much of a daddy’s girl after all. Lies. Binna was the epitome of a daddy’s girl. Oh, she’s crying? Changbin walks in and those tears dry up and she goes back to being her bubbly self.  She can’t fall asleep? Put her on Binnie’s chest and she’s out like a light. You’re trying to feed her mashed veggies and she won;t eat them? Let Changbin feed Binna and she'll eat those veggies right up. 
Daddy’s girl
But, you could pretend for a little bit that she was a mommy’s girl. Just for now, until her daddy’s girl side came back out. 
Smiling, you cuddled her small body close to you, her arms curled around your neck for some much needed eomma cuddles. “But…. she’s my binna bear…just want a kiss is all.” He sighed out, gently running his hand over her pink sleeper onesie clad back. “Binnie, my sweet sweet husband….you know she’s the biggest daddy’s girl. She clings to you, day in and day out. Not that I'm complaining. I find it adorable, you and your mini. But, she needs momma kisses and cuddles sometimes.” You conceded, gently leaning forward to press your lips to his in a soft kiss. “I know, jagiya. I know,” You soothed back, running his knuckle over your knuckle. “You’re the best wife, eomma and partner anyone could have. I don’t blame her for needing some lovings from you, in fact I want to join,” he giggled.
“Join? Yah, be careful, you sap.” You teased, as he maneuvered himself to be fully wrapped around your side. Much like Binna was cuddled into your shoulder with her cheek pressed against you and her arms curled around your neck; Changbin was wrapped around you. His arms curling around your waist with his head on the opposite shoulder.
Sighing, you turned and kissed a kiss to his forehead before repeating the same to Binna. “Aigo, now I have two cuddly babies, don’t i?” you pondered to yourself. Nodding, Changbin smiled and pressed a soft kiss to the underside of your jaw. “Indeed you do, yeobo. Me and my mini.” situating yourself into a more comfortable position, you leaned to settle your back further into the couch. “Now, how am I going to get up if I have to use the bathroom?” You questioned, feeling him nuzzle further into your side. “We’ll figure that out when we get there, yeobo.” he smiled, his big brown eyes filled with nothing but pure love and adoration for you.
You really do have two babies, in the best way. There was a lot of Changbin’s personality that showed and carried in Binna’s.  She got his bubbly personality, his eyes, his laugh and giggle and his love for your love and cuddles. 
 she was the epitome of a daddy’s girl. She’s tired? Give her to Binnie and she’ll fall asleep in the snap of a finger. She’s upset or fussy? Not when her appa holds her and kisses her cheeks. You made pureed veggies and she won’t eat them? Sure, not when you try to feed her. But, let Changbin feed her and those veggies will be eaten without crying, fussing or a tantrum. 
And her favourite plushy? You guessed it….dwaekki.  
Curling himself into your side, Changbin laid his head on your shoulder and pressed a soft kiss to the underside of your jaw. Unknowingly, his knee was pressing against your lower region. “Aigo, Changbin-ah. Don’t do that please, my love. Then I’ll have to pee.” You breathed out, wiggling in your spot a bit. “Oops. sorry, jagi.” He nodded, head still tucked into your shoulder as he moved his leg to sit lower. “Thank you baby.” You smiled, pressing a kiss to his nose.
Laying into the couch, you sighed. “At least if I have to go to the bathroom, I can take binna with me.”  Wait, Binna goes but not him? Changbin thought to himself. So he pouted and looked up at you.“If you go to the bathroom, I get to go right too?” he asked, settled into your side. “I-what kind of question is that Changbin? Why would you go.” “Well, it only seems fair and right since baby princess gets to go.” this man. He is something, that’s for sure. “Binnie….I love you and all. I do, really but please be so for real.”
Time had passed so fast that neither you or Changbin had realised it was 8 o’clock. Which was Binna’s usual bedtime. So, she would eventually grow sleepy and  fall asleep. However, Changbin was still tightly curled around your body. His arms around your waist and one leg thrown over the tops of your thighs. 
Changbin had always fallen asleep if he was cuddled to you, and Binna would as well. Well, when she wasn’t in Changbin’s arms.  While being so befuddled by your dear husband asking if he was going to the bathroom with you, you had failed to notice how Binna had gone completely relaxed against you and fallen asleep. 
Peeking down at her, you smiled to yourself seeing how her eyes had closed, dark eyelashes fanning over her chubby cheeks. While her arms were still curled around your neck, they had gone more lax. A state of sleepiness and relaxation consuming her small body. Her legs were relaxed, lax against your torso. “Awwwww, princess is asleep, bin.” You smiled, gently rubbing her back. 
“She is,hm” He smiled, gently lifting his head to see his 10 month old daughter so completely relaxed and at peace in your arms. “Mhm. My cuddles do have that effect. Even on you,binnie. “ It was true. Something abo0ut being in your arms or just curled around you brought a sense of peace and urged anyone to fall asleep within minutes. Especially Binna and Changbin.
Changbin could never place a finger on it as to why your cuddles so easily made him fall asleep. Maybe it was the way you would play with his hair or run your hands up and down the expanse of his back. Maybe it was your soft scent, a scent he knew as home– soft cashmere notes tinged with vanilla and a hint of a light spice. Whatever it was , he would never complain. Often getting the best sleep when he was in your arms or cuddled up to your body and Binna seemed to be the same.
Feeling himself yawn, he nestled his head into your shoulder and pressed a kiss to the space of skin that your shirt didn’t cover. “Sleepy, binnie?” you perched, pressing a kiss to his temple before resting your cheek against his soft black curls. “Mhm,” was all he was able to get out before another yawn cut him off. 
His strong arms, once tightly wound around your waist, had loosened their hold. Still, they were holding you and Binna close to him and his leg had relaxed on its spot on your lap. He was almost there, the realm of his dreams creeping upon him and embracing him in their hold. The big brown eyes that had been passed onto his daughter, asleep in your hold, drew closed. His own eyelashes spanning the tops of his cheeks. 
Smiling to yourself, you gently manoeuvred your cuddle puddle so you could lay more comfortably on the large plush couch. Binna still safe, tucked against your chest with Changbin curled into your side. Pressing a kiss to his hair, you smiled and repeated the same to Binna’s hair. “Good night, binnie. I love you to the moon and back.” 
“I love you too, forever,” was all you heard before falling asleep yourself. Warmly welcomed to the world of dreams where you would see Binna and Binnie, even while asleep. 
They were yours forever. Binnie and Binna, and you wouldn’t have it any other way. Blessed was an understatement when it comes to the lights of your life. 
🌟Hi hi hi! I hope you guys enjoy this fic! I think I am slowly easing my way back into writing so please bear with me! I love you all! My requests are open for drabbles or full fics. Reblogs are appreciated 🌟 
🌟REPOSTING ON ANY PLATFORM, STEALING, REPUBLISHING WITHOUT MY CONSENT, TRANSLATING OR IN ANY WAY CLAIMING MY WORKS IS STRICTLY PROHIBITED AND YOU WILL BE BLOCKED🌟©AStraySimp2023 🌟
Tags: @httpdwaekki ♡ @straykeedz♡ @straykeedz-recs♡ @number1jeonginstan ♡ @itsnotmydejavu ♡ @galaxycatdrawz♡ @chqnverse ♡ @thefantasyden ♡ @turtledove824 ♡ if I missed you in tags please let me know ♡ tag list is open ♡
70 notes · View notes
growup-thatbeautiful · 1 year ago
Text
Pretty Girl | 3. been on my mind
1. pretty girl | 2. lover, you should’ve come over | 3. been on my mind | 4. last goodbye | 5. hold my hand
Warnings: explicit language
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Instagram
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liked by y/n.username, roo_bradshaw, thereal_javy, and 980,828 more
hangman.jake i’m their cool uncle
view 67,892 comments
delilah.seresin they only have one uncle
-> jake.seresin unrelated
bob.bob.floyd i find that hard to believe
jakeysgirl he loves his family so much awwww
thereal_javy true
thereal_javy only because i’m not blood related though
tasha.trace if by cool you mean lame then yes
-> hangman.jake ouch
y/nislife i need to know if y/n was there
-> y/nfanpage fr me too
r_paybackfinch aw cute
-> r_paybackfinch ^ them not you
y/n.username best uncle ever
-> halo_cal_bass he paid you to say that didn’t he
-> halo_cal_bass i know you’re scheming
penny_benny A lovely family!
-> hangman.jake thank you for commenting nicely
-> y/n.username hey :(
-> hangman.jake you too <3
-> y/n.username mhm
-> y/n.username you’re on thin ice buddy
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Messages
roo: if there’s nothing to tell then what is this
*roo sent a screenshot*
tash: literally </3
roo: flirting in instagram comments is not a joke
you: guys
you: you’re acting like you didn’t do the exact same thing
tash: i-
tash: how could you use that against me?
tash: when i’ve been so supportive
you: 🙃
roo: where’s hangman
you: he’s reading all these messages over my shoulder
tash: hi bagman
you: he says hi :)
jakey: that is not what i said
you: i may have changed the words a little
jakey: you changed everything
you: i like positivity
tash: anyway
tash: now that bagman decided to join us
tash: spill
roo: what she said
jakey: whatever are you talking about
you: i know nothing
tash: LIARS
roo: unacceptable answer
roo: …
tash: i know you’re sitting there talking about this
tash: you’re not smooth
roo: just tell us
jakey: since when are you so fucking nosy rooster
roo: when you started keeping secrets
you: jake and i
tash: FINALLY
you: are telling you that
roo: this better fucking be real
jakey: 🖕
you: we’re together
you: good teamwork jake
you: way to keep the vibe
jakey: anytime baby
tash: ew stop
you: this is what you wanted??
roo: no go back
roo: i thought about it and i don’t like it
you: impossible.
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Instagram
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y/n.username added to their story
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Messages
you: how would you feel if i told you i could come to san diego again
tash: i would feel honored
you: i might have a short job there
tash: now?
you: yeah they had a cancellation and called me to fill in
you: and that way i can fly with jake instead of alone to ny
tash: smart
tash: when do you leave?
you: …30 minutes
tash: GIRL
tash: text me when you’re getting on the plane
tash: and when you land
you: got it
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Instagram
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liked by thereal_javy, y/n.fan, hangmanswife, and 394,1039 more
enews Are we dreaming? I hope not!
Model Y/n Y/L/N and Jake “Hangman” Seresin were seen together in the San Diego Airport. According to sources, they’ve been spending the past few weeks in each other’s company, as shown by their recent, frequent social media posts together.
Most know Seresin to be part of the self-titled “Maverick’s” group, made up of Pete Mitchell, Bradley Bradshaw, Natasha Trace, and more. Y/n, Trace’s long-term friend, and Jake met years ago, but have remained just friends for that time. Could things have finally changed? We say yes!
view 87,920 comments
y/nfanpage no way
y/nfanpage this better be true
ellieslip bro not her going through guys like that 🫰
phoenixislife i liked her with davey better tbh
jakeysgirl wait they’re actually so cute
models.page i thought she lived in new york?? why is she always in san diego 😭
-> bobby_pins she goes there because her friends are there and because of jake apparently
y/n.fan not javy liking this 😭 he knows something we don’t
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Messages
you: they’re onto us
jakey: i’m going to need some more information than that sweetheart
jakey: who’s onto us? what are they onto?
you: you’re a dick
jakey: yeah, and?
you: the media is figuring things out
you: connecting the dots
jakey: we haven’t exactly been subtle
you: i mean technically i’ve been soft launching a bf
you: so i can announce you
jakey: wtf
jakey: is this a legal thing?
jakey: do i need to do this?
you: how do you not know what this is
you: it’s like a teaser
you: for a relationship
you: and no it’s definitely not legally required
jakey: but why
you: for funzies
jakey: strange
jakey: so do you want to post first?
you: i would like to, pls?
jakey: of course, baby
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Instagram
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liked by tasha.trace, halo_cal_bass, hangman.jake, and 1,007,357 more
y/n.username my ☀️, 🌙, and ⭐️
view 98,382 comments
thereal_javy they told me first
thereal_javy i’m their favorite
-> tasha.trace debatable
roo_bradshaw FINALLY
roo_bradsahw i’m so bad at keeping secrets this is a relief
-> y/n.username glad we could help you out bud
jakeyswife yet another boy for her to ruin…
amelia.a.benjamin HA I KNEW IT
penny.benny Called it! Someone’s gotta keep Jake in line 😉
y/n.fan OMG ITS HAPPENING
y/n.fan FRIENDS TO LOVERS FR
bob.bob.floyd “nothings going on bobby” LIARS
bob.bob.floyd you will be hearing from my lawyer about this
-> picsofmodels real
halo_cal_bass i think you added pictures of jake instead of pictures of me…
-> y/n.username you’re right, what a silly mistake
hangman.jake now i can call you sweetheart in public without you glaring!
-> y/n.username maybe…
-> tasha.trace nothing ever stopped you before
hangjake damn she’s gonna run out of guys to date
r_paybackfinch how did this even happen
r_paybackfinch the world is upside down cause i could have sworn you told us nothing was going on…
r_paybackfinch JK HAPPY FOR YOUUU
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Messages
jakey: do you have plans tonight?
you: no
you: i should finish the shoot around 2 though
jakey: okay
jakey: i have tickets to an event that i wasn’t planning on going to
you: okay?
you: is this you inviting me or?
jakey: do you want to go?
jakey: it could be our first public couple thing
jakey: we can be infuriatingly cute the whole time
you: yes please
jakey: consider it done
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liked by tasha.trace, bob.bob.floyd, thereal_javy, and 789,031 more
hangman.jake had the absolute best night with my lovely girl
view 56,394 comments
tasha.trace she’s really my girl but okay
tasha.trace need more pics of the yellow dress immediately
-> y/n.username of course babe
fanforhangman mom and dad fr
y/n.username hi babyyy
y/n.username he means me guys 😁
roo_bradshaw shame we couldn’t go and do a double date
-> y/n.username we missed you and tash :((
thereal_javy good night, bud!
thereal_javy go to sleep it’s 3 am
-> hangman.jake ok
y/ndaily he looks so good in that second pic
-> seresin.hubby he really does
-> picsy/n it’s the y/n effect
penny.benny All the love for my favorite couple!
-> amelia.a.benjamin mom ew
amelia.a.benjamin looks like fun! invite me next time
-> y/n.username you’re 12
-> amelia.a.benjamin 16
halo_cal_bass my fav girl and my second fav cowboy
-> hangman.jake i don’t know how to react to that
delilah.seresin you better have bought her those shoes
-> hangman.jake ….i will now
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you: darling
you: lovely
you: <33
jakey: sweetheart
you: can you open my melatonin bottle pls
jakey: …
jakey: i feel used
you: simply don’t
you: i need helppp
jakey: it’s a child proof bottle
jakey: are you a child?
you: people have different strengths and weaknesses
you: do you want me to be more sleep deprived than i already am??
jakey: no
jakey: if you’re sleep deprived i want to be the reason why
you: so you’ll help?
jakey: yes
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Instagram
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y/n.username added to their story
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Messages
tash: i tried to call jake but he didn’t answer
tash: i wanted to warn you
you: jake’s at the gym, what’s up?
you: it must be bad if you willingly almost talked to jake
tash: first off he’s not that bad, you know i can’t help making fun of him
tash: he makes it too easy
you: i know <3
tash: second off
tash: dave did an interview with vouge
tash: and it’s pretty bad
you: shit
you: bad bad?
tash: yeah
tash: idk how much of it is true
you: things got pretty fucked up
you: so it could be true
tash: fuck.
you: fuck.
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A/n who’s dave? why is that so bad? do i have a plan? find all of this out and more in the next part lol
taglist lovelies: @rosiahills22 @fangirlvibez @djs8891
152 notes · View notes
sserajeans · 1 year ago
Text
you are in love | 34. lee y/n, believe in yourself (written)
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it was the morning of the snhs swim team's departure, and lee y/n sat by the kitchen counter staring blankly at her half-filled bowl of cereal. the girl was dressed in her team's tracksuit with a white shirt under the jacket, infamously known for being the prettiest merch from the school clubs. y/n had wonyoung to thank for that.
"that thing won't eat itself, unnie."
hyein sighed, taking the seat beside her older sister with her own bowl of cereal in her hands.
"what's wrong?"
silence filled the air for a solid minute. y/n's expression unchanged, she zipped down the jacket and sighed before taking a spoon of her cereal.
"what if i come back empty-handed?"
hyein's gaze shifted to the kitchen counter the two were eating on, her mind rushing to think of the best words to use to comfort her sister.
"i mean. this isn't my last shot at the national team, i know that. but i at least need scouts for college, and if i mess this up..."
hyein nodded to at least show y/n she was listening, before taking a deep breath, hand on her sister's shoulder.
"truth is, unnie, no one knows for sure what the results of these games are. and i wish i could travel in time to tell you so you'd feel better, but i can't. however, the one thing i am sure of is that you've practiced your best and worked your hardest, just like you always have, and that seemed to have brought good results, right?"
"yeah, i guess so."
"so believe in yourself, unnie. i'll believe in you twice as much in your place if you can't."
y/n nodded and hugged her sister from the side, the younger rubbing her back in comfort. "thank you. it's times like these where i forget you're younger."
"wise words, what can i say?"
the older of the two rolled her eyes, and the lee sisters went on with their breakfast, conversing until their bowls of cereal went empty. perfect enough timing for minji to show up at the door.
the school doesn't usually provide transport when it came to sending less delegates in competitions. in this case, only y/n, minji, and two other swimmers from junior year, qualified to compete. because of this, y/n and minji decided to go to the airport together, courtesy to minji's older brother for driving.
seeing y/n and hyein from the living room window, minji proceeded to step into the unlocked house, the same way she has for the past how-many years.
"y/n! we leave in 5 minutes, and hi hyein."
y/n rolled her eyes and stood up to roll her luggage and duffle bag outside the door to help minji's brother load it in the car. she came back inside for one final check before leaving the house for what'd probably be about 3 weeks. by the time she ensured she hadn't left a single thing, she turned around to debrief her sister.
"you're staying at jiwoo's right?"
"yup."
"lock the door when you leave."
"got it."
"and if you need help, call hanni or zuha-unnie."
"i know."
"and if it's really drastic call them then me, okay?"
"okay!"
"and i-"
"unnie!"
y/n chuckled and gave her sister one last hug before zipping up her jacket and stuffing her hands in the pockets.
"i know, i know... i'll miss you though, even if it's just like 3 weeks."
"gross. i'll miss my free wallet too."
"shut up, hyeni."
"hehe, good luck unnie! you too, minji-unnie. whatever happens, you'll make us and snhs proud."
and those were the exact words both minji and y/n needed before heading off to a competition representing not just their school, but their country, and most importantly, themselves.
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masterlist. next.
taglist: @yyeonmis @lostamoeba @jisooftme @yoontoonwhs @awkwardtoafault @kvnii @lcv3lies @limbforalimb @spritin @kaypanaq @i06kkura @manooffline @kimsgayness @justme-idle @jenaissantex @mightymyo @sewiouslyz @txtbrainrot @li0ilthecxnt @captivq @paranoxic @sofakingwoso @daniellobers @pandafuriosa60 @haerinkisser @staryujinnie @wowowowcake @lesleepyyy @haechansbbg @rosiehrs @jiwoneiric @blue4hour
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5am-mist · 2 years ago
Note
Plz like Bella and reader driving around as friends late at night and having a really intense kiss
Late night drives
°pairing°> bella ramsey x reader
°summary°> you and bella go out for a late night drive as friends you guys come back as something more
°requested?°> yeppp!
~°A/N°~
hiyaa! this one took me a while so im super sorry but regardless i hope you enjoy! remember to take care of yourselves and thank you for the request! also i have no idea if i did your request justice im so sorry if i didn't:(
It was late. Like really late, you and Bella had spent the past few hours watching movies, laughing and overall messing around. Time always seemed to pass so much faster when you were with Bella, minutes felt like seconds and hours felt like minutes.
"we should go on a drive" you suggested you had no clue where the idea came from but it was late and you weren't about to question yourself. "yea ok, lets go" he said looking at you with possibly the biggest smile you've ever seen, you two sat there for a whole 2 minutes just staring at eachother before bursting back into giggles.
You had absolutely no idea where you were going, Bella on the other hand said that they 'knew a place'. The roads were empty the only things occupying them being the light from the street lights and Bella's car.
The windows were rolled all the way down and the spotify playlist you both made together was turned almost all the way up (Bella kept telling you that you'd wake up everyone in a 5 mile radius but still screamed along to all the lyrics with you).
Eventually the car came to a stop meaning that you were at this so called spot. You were at a loss for words when you saw the collage of different colored lights. You looked over at them to say thank you only to see him already staring at you.
" You're staring doofus," you comment following it with a light shove and a laugh. Your laugh. A sound that made Bella weak in the knees. "I know." You tried your very best not to get flustered by this but your face betrays you as you begin to feel your cheeks getting hotter.
You had pushed your feelings for Bella away along time ago. Of course they were still there but you chose to ignore them because you simply just couldn't risk losing Bella due to a silly crush. Bella had done the exact. same. thing. However they knew that they simply couldn't do it any longer. He loved you. They wanted nothing more than to hold and kiss you. She wanted to be able to call you her partner. They of course hoped things would go well but if they didn't they hoped you guys could atleast stay friends.
"hey i actually needed to say something," your heart begins to beat rapidly as you hear that sentence, your mind racing a mile a minute as to what he would say next. Bella on the other hand was trying to find the right words. They ultimately decided to just say everything on their mind and hope they don't make an absolute fool of himself.
" I love you, i mean really love you. i love how your hair falls, i love your smile could kill 1000 men in an instant, i love how absolutely perfect you look with out even trying, i love how we share the same stupid humor. I love everything about you and if Im being 100% honest there is nothing more i want to do right now than kiss you."
You're stunned, only for a second though because before you know it you you're reaching over to hold his face in your hands. You pull them into a kiss, it was short you were simply testing the waters. Pulling away you two looked in eachothers eyes, which wasn't very long lived as Bella pulled you right back in for another kiss.
This time it was different. It was passionate but hungry, you both wanted this for so long now and it was better than you both could've ever imagined. You're hands went up to their hair as you deepened the kiss. One of their hands traveled down to your waist while the other was being used to keep you two stable. This went on for a while with short breaks in between for much needed air.
Eventually you break the kiss, your hands still playing with her hair. It was quiet, with you two looking into each others eyes, you two really didn't need to say anything but eventually Bella breaks the comfortable silence. " So will you be my partner?"
"I'll have to think about it...yes of course!" you giggled which only sent them into a fit of laughter himself.
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smutty-books · 2 years ago
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Hoodie Guy
Chapter 5
Eminem x reader
Getting to know you, coffee shop, soft marshall matters, reader’s sons
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The rest of the day passes in a blur. Angie teased you about Marshall and tried to get info out of you but you remained closed lip about what you talked about. You headed home in time to meet your sons’ buses and started them on their homework while starting dinner. Your 16 year old was determined to antagonize his brother and Nick played into it. You were glad for the distraction from your thoughts about meeting Marshall later. Soon enough you had your 12-year-old put to bed and Andrew was studying for an upcoming test. You looked at the time and realized you needed to get ready. You quickly went to your room, slipped into some straight-legged jeans, some white air force 1’s and a V-neck long-sleeved shirt. You let your hair down and fluffed it,and touched up your makeup. You spritzed some musk on your pulse points, the crown of your head, and behind your knees. You grabbed your debit card, some cash, and your phone. You let Andrew know you were going out with a friend. Andrew rolled his eyes when you repeated the exact instructions to him that you told him every night.
“ I know, mom, you tell me the same thing everytime you go out.” You kissed him on the too of the head and told him bye and what time you’d be back. You headed out, locking the door behind you. You drove to the coffee shop near the gym and parked. You took a few deep breaths and reminded yourself this was just Marshall and you were having coffee and talking, that's all. It didn't help that you had not dated much since your divorce and the times you had ended badly. You weren't one for casual hookups, and most guys wanted sex. That's what you worried about with Marshall, and, if you did date, what his expectations were cause you knew he was experienced with women. Way more experienced. You and your ex-husband had a good sex life and had done some experimenting, but you knew Marshall had been pretty wild in his younger days. You didn't know about it now, but if he was his team must be keeping it pretty hush-hush, as Marshall was very private.
You shook those thoughts off and reminded yourself that you were just talking and getting to know each other. Usually, things didn't progress past that. Most guys you were into were interested initially but then friend-zoned you, which is kind of what you were expecting to happen with Marshall. You would be cool with that. Marshall as a friend was better than no Marshall at all.
You again chided yourself for getting ahead of yourself. You checked again to make sure you had your debit card and your cash. You stepped out of your little car, ensured she was locked and made your way to the door. You glanced inside and noticed Marshall wasn't there yet. You look at your watch and see you are early, so you debate whether or not to wait outside or to go inside.
The smell of fresh coffee as a patron came out of the shop made up your mind for you. Coffee fiend that you were You followed the scent of the beloved liquid. You approached the counter and greeted the cashier. You scanned the menu but couldn’t decide. Ypu asked the cashier for a recommendation. The barista happened to hear your question and came over and asked you what you liked. You told her you liked dark roasts like Cafe Bustelo, a Cuban espresso, but you also like your cafe mochas and peppermint mochas as well as chai tea lattes. She offered her suggestion which sounded heavenly to you so you requested that and thanked her for her help and input. She smiled at you and began preparing your coffee in a mug. You paid the cashier for your drink and put a 5 dollar tip in the tip jar. You made small talk with the barista as you watched her prepare your drink. After a lovely conversation, she handed you your coffee creation in a big mug. You were delighted by the foam decoration on the top and told the barista so. She smiled appreciatively and blushed a little. Thanking her again, you turned around to find a table and found Marshall watching you. His face was expressionless but his gaze was warm and affectionate after watching your interactions with the staff at the shop. You blushed a little and ducked your head at his scrutiny . He swallowed down a smile and moved to join you.
“ I see you made yourself at home.. Ypu weren’t waiting long, were ya’?” He greeted you with as he came to your side. You smiled at him as you both walked to a both toward the back. You let him guide where you sat. You automatically took the seat that your back faced the shop, he looked a little surprised but nodded in thanks and took the seat facing the shop. He watched you take a sip of your drink and then swallowed another smile as you closed your eyes and sighed in contentment, dropping your head back. You smiled sheepishly as you brought your head back up and found his blue gaze still resting on ypu, cataloging your expressions, a slight tilt to his lips.
“ What can I say? Coffee and I could never be strangers. A patron came out as I was waiting outside for you, and I couldn’t resist coming in and getting a cup. I hope you don’t mind?” your explanation started strong but trailed off as you waited for his response.
“ Yes, I minded. I fully ‘spected you to wait outside for me. I’m Eminem, I expect chicks to wait for me.” He said, wholly deadpan and seriously, sitting toward you and looking you straight in the eye. Your eyes widened a fraction as you looked in his serious blue eyes and scanned his face. You thought he was playing but his face was so serious. Your mind flashed to all the interviews you saw with him and his complete deadpan delivery and his dry sense of humor. You decided to play with it a little. You made sure an apology showed in your eyes just in case.
“ Oh, so sorry, my mistake. Where ever are my manners. Please for give the lapse in etiquette, Mr. Mathers. It won’t happen again.” Ypu intoned, dryly, your face in an exaggerated forgive me expression, complete with puppy dog eyes. Marshall broke at that. His blue eyes twinkled back at you and he allowed a smile and a chuckle.
“ Well, since it’s your first time, I’ll let it slide. Don’t let it happen again.” He mock warned. You tried to appear chastened though in actuality you were relieved he was being facetious. You murmured your thanks and picked up your mug and took another sip. Marshall excused himself to get his own drink. You turned around to watch him move across the shop, admiring his easy stride and his outfit. You admired his black Kangol cap, his black zip up hoodie and his sagged sweatpants and his Nike’s. You watched him interact with the cashier and watched him drop a 10 dollar tip in the jar. You continued to watch as he accepted his cup and as he turned around and moved back toward you. You turned around back toward the table not wanting to be caught staring like a creeper. You watched as he settled himself in and took a sip of his drink.
“Have you been here before?” Ypu asked him curiously, taking another sip from your mug.
“ Not this shop, no, I used to frequent the shop it was before. It was a little mom and pop greasy spoon. Made the best eggs and hash browns. They had to sell though, the owner got sick and they couldn’t keep up the business. This place hadn’t been open maybe 6 months. First time I’ve been in here.” He looked around the shop assessing.
“ Yeah, we have a place like that back in my hometown. It was called The City Grill. Only open till like 2 and made the best eggs and hash browns. It’s still there though. Little mom and pop hole in the wall place.” You shared, smiling slightly at the fond memories.
“ So you ain’t from Detroit. I didn’t think you was. Your accent is different. Where’s home?” He asked curiously. You told him where you were from and about your little hometown.
“ What brought you to Detroit? That’s a ways from home?”
“ I took a travel assignment here one summer. I kept coming back here each summer cause I love the hospital and the staff I work with so much. Plus I fell in love with Detroit. So I decided to move me and my boys here permanently.”
From there the conversation continued. Marshall was guarded about quite a bit but he answered more than you thought he would. You were also guarded about some of your history but tried to answer as openly as you could. He asked more questions about your kids and you bragged on them like the proud mama you were. You asked about his kids as that was never an area you delved into or investigated as those were his kids. You could see how proud he was of all three of his kids. You commiserated over your worry about your teenagers and how things had changed since you both were that age.
You were just chuckling at an anecdote he was telling about Stevie when ypu heard “ Mom, mom, mom, mummy, mama.” Marshall looked at you confused, realization dawned as you took your phone out with a chuckle. Murmuring an “ excuse me” you turned away slightly to focus on your conversation with your son. Marshall pulled his phone out so as not to eavesdrop on your conversation.
“ Hey, sweetheart, is everything okay? Is Nick okay?” You asked, concerned mom tone coming out. You heard an exasperated sigh from the end of the line.
“ He’s fine, mom, still sleeping. Can Jayden come over after school to hang out and listen to music? There's a new X album of unreleased songs dropping at midnight.” you thought about it. “ Has he checked with his parents that its okay?” “ Yes, mom, they said it fine.” “Is he staying for dinner? “ “ If that's okay, yeah.” “ Yeah, that's fine.” “ Bet! Thanks mom, love you, bye.” “ Love you, too, son, be home soon.”
Marshall looked up and put his phone away as you ended your call. He smiled to himself as he caught your concerned mom tone and hearing your tone when talking to your son, and the “ I love you too.”
“ Your boys okay?” He asked politely, even though he knew the answer.
“ Yeah. That was Andrew, asking to have a friend over tommorow to listen to a new album that’s dropping at midnight.” You explained, pocketing your phone.
“ Oh? What album?” Marshall asked curiously, thinking if he knew any albums on the horizon off hand.
“ Xxxtentation? It’s some of the unreleased music he did before he died.” you explained. Marshall nodded “ Your son into rap?” “ Predominantly, yeah, he started with you and then went from there. His favorites are X, Juice World, and NF, but he listens to so many artists.” you chuckled.” He likes to play them for me when Nick’s not around and get my opinion on what he is listening to.” you shared, chuckling, shaking your head, thinking about some of the screamers he listens to. Marshall chuckled as well. “ Sone of it though he just wants to hear me say” Andrew!!!!” others he says “ Mom this beat is fire, you gotta listen to it!” “ Mom, listen to these lyrics!” “ Mom, listen to this flow switch, listen to the rhyme scheme.” You shrugged. “ I'm glad he wants to share what he's listening to with me, though, keeps the lines of communication open.” Marshall nods thoughtfully, listening to you talk. You could see the wheels turning in his amazing mind.
“ You divorced, right?” you nodded, waiting for him to continue. He seemed to think like he was measuring his words. “Where their dad at? He in the picture? They get to see him?” You chuckled but it didn't have an humor in it. Marshall cocked his head and waited for you to continue. You thought about what to tell him.
“ Their dad lives in Arizona, before that Virginia, and before that Leavenworth. He was active duty while at Leavenworth, then retired. Did his 20 and got out. When he retired they moved to Virginia where he got a job as a DOD contractor. “ you told Marshall quietly. “ They see him a couple times a year. Andrew talks to him on FaceTime about once a month. Nick doesn’t know his dad or his new family that well.” As you talked , you kept your voice even and calm even though it still pissed you off. You looked at Marshall and saw the upset on his face. He swallowed a few times and you could see he was confused and upset. After a few tries he was able to speak.
“New family?” He asked, his voice controlled.
“ Yeah, he started seeing someone when we were separated, made it serious after we divorced and the when he came back to the states he moved her to Leavenworth with him and they got married. She had a son from a previous marriage. They had a daughter together a few years later even though she wasn’t supposed to be able to get pregnant. Of course this was after they told Andrew they didn’t have room for him when he asked to live with his dad.” You told him, your voice shaking a bit and you took a deep breath.
“ Motherfucker. So he chose a bitch and her kid over his own kids???!!!” He looked incensed at the idea. You bit your lip, and looked down, and nodded. You heard him muttering under his breath “ I see why you called him a fucktard. I just don’t get how a father can not be involved in his kid’s lives or choose one family over the other. That’s fucked up.” He told you after a few minutes, his voice calmer and quieter. You looked up and saw his gazing at you. You still saw anger on his face directed at your ex but in his eyes you saw sympathy. You wanted to get away from the unpleasant topic so quickly changed the subject. Marshall sent you a look that let you know he knew what you were doing but was going to follow your lead, for now, which you were grateful for.
“ So, you box, like for real. How long have you been boxing? How did you get started?” you asked him, intrigued. He smiled a little bit, chuckled, and answered your questions. You laughed as he finished with the story about being beaten by the 14-year-old. He shook his head and watched you laugh.
“Have you ever taught anyone to box?” you asked, curious. He shook his head. “ I tried to teach my girls, but none of ‘em got interested.” he imparted.
“ Yeah, my son used to go to a boxing club back home but stopped, never really said why. I always thought it would neat to learn, just never had the time.”
“ I could teach you, I mean, I can try to teach you, if you want.” he offered.
“ I don't know if I want to subject you to that. I'm incredibly uncoordinated and boxing looks like it requires coordination,” you said self-deprecating. “ Thank you for the offer, though, can I rain check and take you up on it later?” you asked tentatively, raiding you eyes to meet his blue gaze head on. The compassion and understanding in his blue eyes in his blues took your breath away. You realized that you could easily fall for this human being and you needed to protect your heart if you didn't want it broken. He considered you for a few minutes.
“ Raincheck it is. Imma hold you to that. So I know you got good taste in music cause you listen to me.” he said, smirking at you, you chuckled. “ What other artists you listen to?”
“ Oh, buddy, you just opened a flood gate with that question.” you warned him.
“ Hit me. I wanna know. Is it all rap or do you like other types of music?” he asked, curiously, hid gaze intent on you. You weren't used to such attention and part of you blossomed but the other part was waiting for him to put the breaks on and friend-zone you. You took a deep breath and thought for a moment.
“ Imma be honest, I grew up listening to 8 tracks and records on my parents Hi- fi. I grew up with classic country, 50’s, 60’s, and 70’s music. My parents got me a record player for one of my birthdays, one of those that had a tape deck as well? So I grew up listening to all their old records. Then I was a band geek, and a theatre geek. The band guys were into heavy metal band and garage bands so I have an appreciation for that. And I loved early rap, like the 80’s and early ’90s. Loved the Beasty Boys, MC Hammer, and Regulator by Nate Dogg and Warren G. And of course DJ Jazzy Jeff and the Fresh Prince. Salt n’ Peppa, Run DMC. Then when I got married my then husband listened to a lot of 80’s hair and and classic rock as well as classical music and some show tunes. I got away from rap because it was too violent and too vulgar and misogynistic. It wasn't fun like the early rap I listened to. Plus my then husband wasn't a fan so that influenced my listening tastes. It wasn't till after I was divorced and my middle son started bumping rap and playing it for me that I got interested in the genre again. Then I became obsessed and devoured everything I could about hip hop and the culture. As you said in “ Kamikaze,” it made me feel strong at one of the weakest points in my life, and the more I listened, the more strength I drew from you and other hip-hop artists the more I sought to understand the culture and why rappers rapped about what they did. That's the beauty of music, it is universal and it’s a way of connecting to others and telling your struggles that others can relate to and maybe gain strength from the fact that someone else is struggling and you aren't alone in this world. That there are others that do understand and its a comfort and a solace.”you told him, gauging his expression. He listened intently and nodded at points, made agreeing noises at others and didn't look surprised by you statements about rap and why you got away from it. He looked a little sad at that but perked up when you talked about your renewed interest in it and watched, intrigued by the passionate way you spoke about this art form and culture that he was in love with so much and that had given so much to him and his family. That he strove to give back to and pay homage to whenever and however he possibly could. He found himself wanting to know more which was an oddity. He was saddened when he saw you look at your watch and start and knew you had to go.
“ You gotta go?” he asked quietly, looking down at his drink
“Yeah, I told my son I’d be back around 10:30,” you told him regretfully, finishing your now very cold cup of coffee. You moved to stand up and return your cup. He stood up as well and grabbed his drink and took yours from you despite your protest. He quickly silenced your protest with a warning look. You smiled at him in thanks. You thanked the cashier and barista and made your way to the door. He helped the for open for you, which you thanked him for. You talked and joked with each others. He walked you to your car. He watched as you unlocked your car and as you quickly checked the back seat before he opened the door and held it.
“ I’d like to see you again. “ he told you seriously. You looked him, confused. He clarified. “ I mean, I know we are going to see each other at the gym, but I'd like to, you know, kinda like take you out.” he got out. You looked up at him and smiled warmly.
“ Yeah?” You asked in wonder. He smiled at that, more certain at your humbleness that he wanted to get to know you more.
“ Yeah, I do.” he breathed, looking at you.
“ I'd like that, too. I kind of like you, Marshall Mathers.” you said sweetly, bashfully, blush on your cheeks as you admitted that to him. He leaned down and brushed a kiss to your cheek and whispered in your ear, his voice husky: “ Yeah? Wanna know sumtin'? I kind of like you too, y/n.” he felt you shiver as his lips brushed across your skin, and he bit back a smile, liking that he could affect you like that. He pulled back and gave you a small smile. You smiled shyly up at him, hardly believing someone like him was interested in someone like you.
“ Good night, Marshall. See you tomorrow night? “ you asked, starting your car, smiling as her engine came to life. He murmured his assent and closed your door. You rolled your window down
“ Sleep tight, sweet dreams, Marshall Bruce Mathers.” you told him, smiling at him.
“ You, too, y/n, you too. Text me when you get home.” he reminded you. You nodded and waved at him as you rolled up your window. He smiled as he caught Tupac’s “ I Ain't Mad Atcha” coming from your speakers before the window closed. He watched as you pulled away then made his way to his vehicle and made his way home.
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weekendpassrevoked · 1 month ago
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Easy's Songbird - Chapter 5
author's note: no way the first song of the song-inspired fic has finally appeared! please welcome 'bury me beneath the willow' by mary tuttle! music is very very important to this story (if you couldn't tell) and every song has a different meaning based on isabella's experiences throughout the story. since this is such a crucial part to the worldbuilding, i will be adding a song analysis to each song after it's introduced to the story. you can find the link to this under the masterlist! this will tell you so much about her past, even things that haven't been mentioned yet! you can find all the songs that will be included in this fic (in order) in the spotify playlist link on the masterlist!
i've gotten alot of request to make a taglist for this story, so if you're interested you can shoot me a message! thank you all so much for the love you have shown this fic. i would like to note that i do not have a beta reader, so there is bound to be some sort of mistake. whether it be grammatical or chronological. please let me know if you see any of this! i'll fix it right away. please enjoy! (remember to check out the song analysis, it's important!)
Camp Toccoa, Georgia, February 25th, 1942
Nixon and her had eventually managed to give Winters a reply through their laughter, although Winters seemed to be quite embarrassed at his lack of knowledge over Japanese traditional clothing.
“Not to worry sir! I wouldn’t really expect anyone to really know what a kimono is. I’m surprised Lieutenant Nixon even knew what it was.”
The trio came to a stop in front of a large, stable-like wooden building.
“The Army really takes care to make sure everything looks the exact same, huh?’
“Alright Private, this will be your barrack during your time here. We’ll leave you to get settled in. The men are currently at lectures, but expect them back in about 30 minutes. Dinner is at 1900.”
She beams back at them. “Thank you for all your help sirs!”
“Remember to hide that box somewhere really well, okay?”
“I will, no worries sir!”
She quickly climbed the steps up to the door, trickly maneuvering her body to prop open the door while both her hands were occupied. Hurrying inside, she notices the only free bed is at the very back, tucked in the corner. She scurries over, hands getting tired from all the weight they’ve been carrying all day. Dropping her bag on the ground and her box on the bed, she sits down in a huff, exhausted.
‘And it’s only day one…’
Georgia was slightly cooler at this time of the year compared to Florida, but she still felt the incessant mugginess all the same. Strands of her hair were sticking to her forehead, and her cheeks felt warm. Deciding she would clean herself up later, she started on unpacking. 
She found a large footlocker at the end of her bed, thankful for its size. She hadn’t brought a lot, so everything would easily fit. It would’ve been quite the problem if she had packed as much as her mother wanted her too. As she started pulling her things out, she started quietly humming. 
She decided she would put her most personal and valued items at the bottom of the footlocker. Based on what Nixon had told her, it was highly likely Sobel would try to make her life as miserable as possible, and she wouldn’t put it past him to snoop in her things. Her only choice was to bury them as deep as possible and hope for the best. Placing her stuffed animals and her kimono box at the bottom, she quickly began layering her civilian clothes on top to hide them. Placing her veils in the middle, she carefully put her uniforms inside. Her mother and Maya had taken a lot of care in helping her properly fold them, and she wasn’t going to ruin their hard work so quickly. After her bag was empty of almost everything, she triple-checked the footlocker to make sure nothing unusual was noticeable from the outside. She placed her books on top of the footlocker, finally finished.
Happy with her organization, she messily took out the braided bun on her head. Quickly running her hands through her thick curly brown hair, she set on slipping back the loose strands. She had always been bad at braiding her own hair, much to her brother's chagrin, and she clumsily felt the back of her head to check for any bumpy or loose ends, tying it back up when she was satisfied. It wouldn’t do her any good to be making first impressions when not looking her best. It had been one of the most important things her mother had made sure to teach her…
‘Always dead over badly dressed.’
She wasn’t sure how she would uphold that ideal when she was out fighting Germans, but she would try her hardest to make her mother proud, even if she wasn’t there. 
Her humming quickly stopped as she heard loud voices approaching the barracks. The door opened before she managed to turn around to see who it was.
“Oh shit, there’s a broad in here!”
Isabella could already feel the annoyance forming in her chest. She grimaced, cursing her sheltered upbringing.
‘Not one word exchanged and I’m already a broad.’
Her parents had always made sure their son respected women, and eventually that teaching had made it to Lucas and Cameron who’s parents hadn’t done so. It took them a while, but they eventually got the gist after her father slapped them both across the face when he heard what they had said to their next door neighbor. All this to say, Isabella wasn’t remotely used to being referred to insultingly. 
Sure, Isabella had quite the bad habit, one her parents and brother made significant effort to remove once she came home age 9, swearing to her little hearts delight. They ran out of soap that night and her mouth tasted like lye, but her habit never stopped and her family eventually gave up on her potty mouth. But this wasn’t the same. These men didn’t even know her. 
She deeply breathed in, calming her temper down before she caused issues before she even introduced herself. 
‘You never get a second chance at a first impression.’
“You lost sweetheart?”
‘Nevermind, I might get kicked out even earlier than expected.’
She turned around, hands fisted against her sides and a smile on her face.
“Good afternoon, I’m Private Isabella Vega, your new medic.”
The room fell silent, and Isabella felt a drop of sweat roll down her neck as she noticed the different looks of apprehension and displeasure on the men's faces.
Isabella had been a relatively shy girl growing up, and that carried on into her teenage years. This would only change when she would perform, but this meant that she wasn’t very adept at social interaction. Especially with men years older than her. So she did the only thing she knew how to do in this situation…
Appease.
“Listen, I know you don’t want me here, and I understand that. So I’ll make my best effort to stay out of your way as long as you don’t cause any problems with me. Is that okay?”
She heard various mumbles throughout the room and the men turned around once they were satisfied with her introduction. 
Isabella let out a huff, not noticing she was holding her breath. Sitting back down on her bed, she checked the watch on her wrist.
‘Only 5:30…’
Wanting to distract herself, she hurriedly grabbed the journal she had placed on top of her footlocker with her school books. 
‘Maybe I can write a letter to the boys? Or finish that entry I did at the train station?’
Trying to add to what she wrote earlier in the day, she blanked. 
‘Well, the day isn’t over yet so maybe I’ll wait till tonight to finish it.’
Bored and afraid, she began to think of home. Of the marsh around her house, of the bird songs and sticky heat that would last all day, of the willow tree in her backyard.
‘The willow tree…’
Quickly thinking back to the tune she hummed earlier while unpacking, she flipped to a new page and began writing in her journal, inspired.
My heart is sad and I am lonely
For the only one I love
When shall I see him? Oh, no, never
'Til we meet in heaven above
Oh, bury me beneath the willow
Under the weepin' willow tree
So he will know where I am sleeping
And, perhaps, he'll weep for me
He told me that he dearly loved me
How could I believe it untrue?
Until the angels softly whispered
"He will prove untrue to you"
Oh, bury me bеneath the willow
Under thе weepin' willow tree
So he will know where I am sleeping
And, perhaps, he'll weep for me
Tomorrow was our wedding day
Oh God, oh God, where can he be?
He's out a-courting with another
And no longer cares for me
Oh, bury me beneath the willow
Under the weepin' willow tree
So he will know where I am sleeping
And, perhaps, he'll weep for me
Focused on her scribbles, she doesn’t notice the man walking up to her until he clears his throat.
“What are you writing?”
She pauses, noticing the distinct accent, not looking up and timidly replies.
“A song…”
“Oh.”
She feels her ears warm in embarrassment, feeling silly. 
“D’you do that often?”
She shrugs. “I guess so?”
The man hums in reply, intrigued. Curious herself, Isabella looks up to see who had gotten the strength to come speak with her. She’s met with short cropped black hair and gray eyes and notices the patch of white on his arm. Her eyes widened.
“You’re the other medic.”
The man nods. “I’m Eugene Roe.”
Her hands tremble and she has to lay her journal on her lap to distract her. “Nice to meet you, Roe.” Her hands feel numb and cold. “Can I help you with anything?”
Shaking his head, he lets out a sound of denial. “Was just curious.”
A silence falls and she isn’t really sure what else to say.
‘What the hell would the boys do?’
“Um…where are you from, Roe?”
He raises his brow, surprised. “Louisiana. You?”
“Florida.” She smiles gently. “We’re neighbors.”
Her attempts at small talk seem to pay off as Roe chuckles back at her joke, and relief floods her chest. 
“How old are you?” He asks.
Realizing he’s continuing her small talk, she wipes her hands on her skirt.
“I turned seventeen yesterday morning.”
Isabella sees his face harden into something unreadable, and she’s afraid she’s said something wrong until he finally answers back.
“Happy belated birthday.”
“Thank you.” She whispers.
They sit in a comfortable silence until Eugene tells her it's time for dinner. She follows him to the mess hall, feeling much more at ease with someone by her side. She feels kind of like a lost puppy as she follows him around the mess hall and lets her sit next to him. 
‘He’s a lot like Michel…’
Maybe that’s why she feels safe with him?
“So Roe, you’re the ranking medic right? Did you work in the medical field before this?” she asks.
“No. They chose me to be a medic, so now I’m a medic. How about you?”
She shakes her head. “Me neither. All my medical knowledge relates to farm animals.”
Hearing someone scoff close by, she’s met by a man with chocolate colored eyes and fluffy brown hair.
“Only farm animals huh? What are you here for then?”
She feels a flicker of anger, and speaks before she’s able to stop herself.
“To take care of farm animals, what else?”
‘First impressions my ass.’
“What’d you sa-”
She hears laughter coming from next to the man and sees someone slap their hand on his shoulder. 
“Aw lighten up Liebgott, she’s just giving back what you gave her! Cut her some slack.”
“Shut up Luz.”
The man, Luz, reaches over the table, extending his hand. “Nice to meet ya’, I’m George Luz.”
Shaking his hand, she answers. “Isabella Vega.”
“Don’t worry too much about Liebgott, he just has a perpetual stick up his ass.”
She covers her laugh up as a cough. “I see.”
“How old are you, kid? You barely look out of high school.”
“I turned seventeen yesterday, so you’re right.” She smiles. 
“No way!”
“Yes way!” she giggles. “I didn’t even finish my senior year. That’s why I have all those school books sitting on my footlocker.”
He continues. “Oh, so you’re a bookworm? You’d get along great with Webster then.”
Her eyebrows furrow, head tilting to the side. “Why’s that?”
“He’s a Harvard kid.”
Intrigued, she hums back her reply. She turns back to Liebgott, and she feels a pang of guilt.
“Hey, Liebgott is it?”
He doesn’t answer.
“I’m sorry I said that, I was really rude. I didn’t mean it.”
They all seem to wait and see what he does and it feels like forever before he finally answers.
“Yeah, whatever.”
‘I’ll take what I can get!’
Eventually, dinner ends and everyone heads back to the barracks for the night. She quickly scurries inside behind Eugene and grabs her clothes. Realizing she has no idea where the bathrooms are, she timidly tugs on Eugene’s sleeve. 
“What’s wrong?”
“Um, where are the bathrooms?”
He kindly accompanies her outside while she profusely apologizes for bothering him. He’s adamant he doesn’t mind, but Isabella is sure he wants to get back inside as soon as possible and get the hell to sleep.
Entering the bathrooms, she finds a stall at the very end with a sign with her name on it. She shimmies out of her skirt and heels, sighing in relief. Quickly putting on the PT clothes she was provided, she takes a moment to wash up her face and brush her teeth. She has a horrible headache and she realizes she’s been ridiculously tense all day and the bun on her head was not helping. Letting the bun go, she quickly undos the braid and runs her fingers through, untangling any knots. 
As she walks out, she realizes Eugene is still standing outside, seemingly waiting for her. He insists that his waiting wasn’t a big deal, stating, “I don’t need my new medic getting lost in the dark by herself on her first day.”, and she can understand why. It doesn’t make her feel any better though. 
When they finally reach the barracks, she bids Eugene a goodnight and heads for her bed. She realizes she hasn’t prayed her rosary yet or finished writing in her journal the moment her head hits the pillow.
She had no dreams that night.
taglist: @malarkgirlypop, @darling-heffron
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fancoloredglasses · 7 months ago
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Star Trek (Hard to believe I hadn't reviewed this yet), Part 1: TOS
[All images are owned by Paramount. Please don’t sue me]
If you’ve been living under a rock for the past nearly 60 years, this will all be news to you. Otherwise, you’ll be wondering why I’m deciding to review this of all things. Some may even cynically be thinking I’m running out of things to review.
The answer is simple: I don’t review episodes of series I haven’t done a review of, and I’ve recently found a bunch of YouTube clips of scenes I don’t remember seeing. (Not surprising; in every Trek series since The Next Generation I went in with enthusiasm, but then Life Happened and I fell off until I found out the series was ending and HAD to see the finale)
Now, as I’ve stated, I don’t like to review series that are ongoing. For that reason (and the fact I don’t have Paramount+), I will not be touching ANY Trek that debuted (or premiered) after 2009. Also, to give each “era” of Trek its own spotlight (and NOT, as some of you may be thinking, I’m short on ideas!), I will be doing each series separately, starting with The Original Series (or TOS).
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(Thanks to dinadangdong)
Star Trek was created by Gene Roddenberry, who was previously known for TV series set in the Old West. It should be no surprise that (a) the show was dubbed “Wagon Train in space" (a Western series that ended the year before Star Trek debuted) and (b) the show at times felt like the Wild West in terms of brawls and playing fast and loose with the law (in particular, the Prime Directive: Do not interfere in the development of less advanced civilizations)
The series tells of the potential of humanity: a utopia where Earth is united and everyone gets along, so now they’ve decided to bring their influence to the stars by forming the United Federation of Planets (or “the Federation”) and exploring the galaxy in the 23rd century.
Now, let’s meet the star of the series…
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The USS (short for “United Space Ship”) Enterprise (designation NCC-1701), a Constitution class starship, which boasts cutting-edge technology for the Federation…
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…despite the fact that the interfaces look outdated compared to “modern” technology less than 10 years after the series ended.
The Enterprise boasted advanced technology such as…
Warp drives that enable craft to travel faster that light (according to publications that were released following the end of the series the speed was the “warp factor” cubed, so Warp Factor (or simply Warp) 5 would be 125 (5 x 5 x 5) times the speed of light (The only issue with this is timing: the closest star to the sun is Alpha Centauri (about 4.3 light years away). At Warp 5, it would take the Enterprise almost 13 days to travel the distance. Yes, I’m that big of a geek) The Warp drives are also the power source of the ship, using a matter/antimatter reaction that’s controlled using a substance known as dilithium crystals (much in the same way cadmium rods are used to keep nuclear power plants from melting down)
Energy fields (known as deflector shields) able to mitigate the impact of an enemy’s weaponry
Transporters that are able to disintegrate matter, then nearly instantaneously reassemble it several miles away (if it’s a living being, not only are they still alive, but they retain all of their memories!), but are unable to penetrate deflector shields (this closes the plot hole that says enemies can board a ship during a battle using transporters) FUN FACT: Roddenberry devised the transporters because he couldn’t figure out how a ship designed like the Enterprise would be able to land.
But enough about the ship, on to the crew, and what a crew it is! (over 400 personnel, to be exact)
First off, the crew has three designations, each with a different colored shirt: Gold represents operations division (including command, helm, navigation, and fire control), blue represents sciences (including medical), and red represents service division (including security and engineering) In cases where a member of another division is in a command position, that division’s color is worn (which explains why the Enterprise’s First Officer (also its Chief Science Officer) wears blue)
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The Enterprise’s commanding officer is Captain James T. Kirk (played by William Shatner) [FUN FACT: Kirk’s full middle name (Tiberius) isn’t mentioned until a few years later; in addition, Kirk’s middle initial was R in the second pilot (more on that later)] Kirk is a seat-of-his-pants space jockey who tends to play fast and loose with the Prime Directive.
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(Thanks to Memory Alpha)
Despite this, Kirk cares deeply about his ship and crew (as long as they’re not wearing red shirts (more on that later as well))
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Kirk’s First Officer (and Science Officer) is Commander Spock (played by Leonard Nimoy), a member of an alien race known as Vulcans (actually half-Vulcan, as his mother is human) Vulcans show no emotion, relying on logic to dictate their actions (in the original pilot (I promise I’ll circle back to all of this) Spock showed emotion; the lack of emotion didn’t come into play until the second pilot) In the course of the series, Vulcans became more defined (usually suggested by Nimoy), including a nerve pinch that knocks out its victim (because Nimoy couldn’t see Spock cold-cocking someone), the Vulcan salute (shown above, which is from a Jewish ritual Nimoy observed as a boy), and the mind-meld, which allows a Vulcan to share memories with another (and vice versa)
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Rounding out the main cast is the Chief Medical Officer, Lt. Commander Dr. Leonard “Bones” McCoy (the nickname “Bones” refers to an old Earth nickname for surgeons as “Sawbones”, since most field surgeons were forced to amputate injured limbs to save their patients) McCoy is a curmudgeony individual who enjoys teasing Spock about his Vulcan heritage (almost to the point of bigotry), but there was no doubt there was friendship between the two (and Kirk)
There are two phrases that McCoy utters repeatedly in the series that have made nearly any reenactment of the character seem almost a parody…
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(Thanks to Scott Cole)
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(Thanks to RichardIsBig)
As far as the supporting cast, it was years ahead of its time, showing a diversity never seen in the 60s!
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The Chief Engineer is Lt. Commander Montgomery “Scotty” Scott (played by James Doohan) FUN FACT: Doohan tried several accents in his audition before the Roddenberry settled on the Scottish one.
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The Chief Helmsman is Lt. Hikaru Sulu (played by George Takei) Following the series, Takei came out as gay and used his status as a sci-fi icon to became an advocate for gay rights.
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The Chief Communications Officer is Lt. Uhura (played by Nichelle Nichols) No first name was ever given until almost 50 years later.
Nichols had two inspirational stories about her time on the show she liked to share at the conventions. The first was how she wanted to quit the show due to her character not really doing much of anything, but was inspired to stay by a certain black comic that no one really wants to talk about any more. The other is about a famous black actress who was inspired by her character and eventually got a role on the Enterprise herself! (I’ll discuss her in a future review)
There were also two recurring supporting roles that had importance to the series..
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Ensign Christine Chapel (played by Roddenberry’s wife Majel Barrett) is Dr. McCoy’s chief nurse. She also has a major crush on Spock (FUN FACT: This was Barrett’s second role for Star Trek. The first was First Officer (known simply as “Number One”) in the first pilot of the series. Yes, I’ll be discussing this later)
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Crewman Janice Rand (played by Grace Lee Whitney) was Kirk’s Yoeman (personal assistant) and was intended to be a love interest as the series progressed, but the network wanted to see Kirk be a “ladies man”, so her character disappeared following Season 1 (though her character would return as cameos in the films)
The second season saw not only the reassignment of Crewman Rand, but the assignment of a permanent Navigator (it’s never explained why the ship needs a navigator when the computer could easily do so)
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Ensign Pavel Chekov (played by Walter Koenig) is of Russian heritage (there are two stories as to why the character was added (either, both, or neither could be true): Roddenberry said that the Russians complained that they weren’t represented on a show that talks about a united Earth, while at least one book said that Koenig was cast to appeal to a younger (female) audience, which explains why his early haircut resembles Davey Jones’s)
I would be remiss in my review if I didn't mention the trope that endures to this day: Redshirts!
Because Security's uniform top is red, and the fact that Security are often targeted (and tend to die quite often) when the ship is boarded or a landing party is attacked, the term "redshirt" became used for the extras whose job it is to die messily in any sci-fi series.
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(Thanks to comedy4cast)
Of course, every shining beacon of hope needs people casting shade. There are plenty of threats against the Enterprise and her crew, but there are a couple that seem to show up quite a bit.
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The Klingon Empire is the main antagonist against Federation expansion. They are a warrior race bent on conquest.
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(Klingons are often cast using black actors…at least I hope they’re black and not using blackface!)
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The Romulan Star Empire is another war-mongering people (funny how two aggressive races managed to sandwich a peaceful coalition between them) Like the Klingons, their ships are equipped with cloaking devices making their ships invisible to visual and sensor identification (fortunately, they have to drop their cloak to fire of they’d have conquered the galaxy by now)
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As you can see, the Romulans are distantly related to the Vulcans, but they retain their emotional, savage side instead of relying on logic.
The series often dealt with rather weighty topics (such as racism and nuclear war), but also had its share of goofy episodes (such as dealing with space Nazis, space gangsters, space Romans, and evil doppelgangers)
The series almost didn't get off the ground, as the original pilot (with Captain Christopher Pike commanding) was rejected by NBC as "too cerebral", but a second, more action-oriented pilot with Kirk commanding was accepted and the rest is history.
The series lasted three seasons before it was abruptly cancelled. Saturday Night gave the fans a fitting sendoff.
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(Thanks to Saturday Night Live)
This should’ve been the end of Star Trek’s story, but fan support kept the series alive years after its cancellation. Enough so that the Enterprise got another shot at the small screen years later.
…but that’s a tale for another review.
If you would like to watch the series, it’s available on Paramount+, PlutoTV, or behind your favorite paywall. If you would like to see an episode reviewed, please let me know!
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Before I go, I would like to offer up a little ditty about what happens when the crew of the Enterprise are allowed a break from exploring the galaxy, courtesy of Leslie Fish…
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(Thanks to Songs from the Stars)
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tarisilmarwen · 1 year ago
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Rebels Rewatch: "Shroud of Darkness"
Heading back to Lothal for the beginning of the end arc.
We start right away In Media Res with Kanan and Ezra fighting the Inquisitors. And man is it amazing to watch how far they've both come in their lightsaber combat.
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Ezra could barely duel Seventh for a minute back in "Always Two There Are" and now he's holding his own against her AND Fifth, with help granted but still.
Part of the reason why I think Season Two has to span the longest length of time out of all the seasons.
This is almost over-choreographed, lots of spins and lightsaber twirls that are frankly superfluous but they look cool so you know, whatever.
"I don't go for crazy... anymore." Do tell Kanan, lol.
It's funny because the voice actors are married.
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NO I DON'T THINK THE SYMBOLISM OF EZRA DANGLING PRECARIOUSLY OFF A PRECIPICE WITH KANAN AS THE ONLY THING PREVENTING HIS FALL IS ANY KIND OF COINCIDENCE, GIVEN LATER IN THE EPISODE.
Rebels tends to be very deliberate about these things lol.
I don't think I noticed before but the past several episodes have had no fanfare and I think we all should have taken that as a clue or portent of things to come.
A+ padawan tossing Kanan, slick move.
Ezra's effortless flip over the Inquisitors. <3
Kanan complaining but ultimately having full trust in Ezra and the proud look he gives him. <3
Ezra being polite and thanking the tibedee, aww.
Okay I should stop before I gush over every second here.
Kanan expresses some rather natural worries about the fact that his and Ezra's presence is going to put the rest of the fleet at risk, since the Inquisitors keep finding them, and determines to bring in the big gun (Ahsoka) on this one. The expressions in this scene and the quiet subtle emotion is just beautiful, Kanan's worry about how to keep everyone safe just palpable.
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RIGHT, SURE. SMACK ME IN THE FACE WITH PRE-VADER ANAKIN FEELS WITH ANAKIN MAKING HOLOCRON LIGHTSABER TUTORIALS FOR YOUNGLINGS.
Anakin would have loved Ezra. *sobbing*
Subtle animation appreciation moment: Ezra creeping around very carefully so as not to disturb Ahsoka's meditation, and the way his hand fumbles out for the seat.
Ahsoka talking so fondly about Anakin, ow.
I remember when this aired Ahsoka's line about, "The last time I saw him, he was running off to save the Chancellor." caused quite a bit of hullabaloo in fandom because, well, TCW Season 7 wasn't actually a thing yet, from our perspective she'd just walked off in Season 5 never to be seen again.
Writers decided to be all, "Let's incorporate unfinished storylines as if they're canon!" much to fan confusion, lol, wonder if they knew at that point that they were getting renewed to finish the last season.
"I can barely protect you." "I don't need protecting." *LAUGHS IN THIS ENTIRE SEASON* Right, how many times exactly did you get captured or in trouble this season Ezra? Yeah.
Our first hints of Hera's worried misgivings about Kanan's eventual plan to separate from the fleet.
The blockade hasn't returned yet to Lothal airspace, interesting. Maybe with the Spectres gone they loosened things just a little.
Our first time hearing Ezra's theme since I think "Legacy", a nice marker of us coming home.
Did... Ahsoka not know that Ezra was from Lothal before this? What's with the question? Did she think the Spectres just picked him up randomly on one of their adventures and take him with?
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Still as pretty as ever.
Ahsoka's not confident enough in calling herself a Jedi to believe a Jedi Temple would open for her, boy this girl and her self-identity issues.
She doesn't think she deserves the title. She left and then everything fell apart and there was no more Order to return to, so she couldn't return, even though she maybe wanted to, even though she realized being a Jedi was what she did truly care about.
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OH HEY, THERE'S THE DOOR PALPATINE STEALS.
And they walk down the exact same hall that Ezra would later walk down in the finale into the bowels of the Temple, excuse me, I need to--
*weeps*
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I do love the Force Weirdness of this episode, how only Kanan can see the door bathed in light, how Ezra just sort of slips into the ether that is between the Temple and the Nexus of the World Between Worlds and disappears.
And I love Kanan's portion of this episode. Confronted by a vision of a dojo in the Temple and a Temple Guardian, Grand before he was an Inquisitor, who warns that trying to fight will result in failure and Ezra's fall to the Dark Side. (This speech sounds eerily similar to Grand's demoralizing speech to Ezra in "Gathering Forces" in fact.)
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That immediate cold protective fury aaaaah I love it!
Grand's threat here was taken way too literally as prophetic foreshadowing by fandom BTW. Still is.
So Kanan and Grand square up and in the meantime the Inquisitors have found them. Again. I don't think they ever explained how, perhaps it's just that Inquisitor intuition that made Kanan and Ezra have to separate the first time, back in "Gathering Forces".
Hi Seventh! Hi Fifth!
Ahsoka reminiscing about Yoda. :(
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Ezra, meanwhile, casually chatting the man up. XD
Kanan doing some casual Jar'Kai. Just cause.
[Insert "You're doing amazing sweetie" reaction image.]
OH BOY NOW WE GET TO DELVE INTO AHSOKA'S GUILT ISSUES ABOUT ANAKIN.
Bby girl knows deep down that he's become Vader but is still so vehemently in denial of it, the Force is smacking her in the face with the weight of her own guilt. Ahsoka feels like, "Maybe if I hadn't left..." but it's not about her, Anakin made his own stupid choices, there was nothing, metatextually, that Ahsoka could have done that would have prevented Anakin's fall it's not her fault.
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:((((((((((
This is something I hope we will finally delve deep into and get over in the Ahsoka show. Babygirl needs to forgive herself for the wrongs she imagines she's done Anakin and accept that he made his choice, just like she made hers.
A snippet of Ahsoka's theme here, just for extra sads.
Oh good! It's time to play my least favorite game: Is this scene a commentary and critique of the actions of the Prequel Jedi Order or is this in-text Unreliable Narrator from Yoda as a person with obvious Survivor's Guilt.
It's especially annoying because Filoni you worked on TCW, remember all that enslaving, war criming, and general evil the Separatists were involved in on a daily basis? Are you saying the Jedi were wrong for wanting to try and stop all of that and protect the people put in harm's way? THIS WAS YOUR MATERIAL DUDE.
Love the subtle effect of the ring patterns turning red and the clear effort it's taking Seventh and Fifth to force their way into the Temple.
Kanan, meanwhile, confronted by his worst fears parroted by the vision of Grand, accepts that he cannot control his or Ezra's future, and that he should not try to. He lets go, gives up his fear of failing, gives up the instinct to cling tight to Ezra, his attachment, and acknowledges that what happens will happen, he will just do the best he can.
AND HE PASSES THE TEST AND GETS KNIGHTED BY THE FORCE ITSELF BABY!
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I'm so proud of him. :)
Yoda is frustratingly cryptic, only telling Ezra, "Find Malachor" (which made KOTOR fans go nuts) before letting him fade back into realspace. To this day I'm still not quite clear just why Yoda decided to sent them that way except maybe to prove a point about what can happen when you act out of fear. Malachor does contribute to a lot of Ezra's character development, for both good and bad, so... I dunno.
Vision!Grand fighting his former co-workers aaaah I love it.
Yoda waving fondly at Ahsoka awww.
AND THE BIG DARK ASSHOLE HIMSELF IS HERE TO OVERSEE THE IMPERIAL DISCOVERY OF THE TEMPLE.
Again, I do wonder just how far back they planned the World Between Worlds reveal. Because yeah an ancient Jedi Temple is a pretty nice find but Palpatine being personally pleased with its discovery?
This episode is obviously very Plot Important but I do tend to skip it when I'm rewatching episodes, I'm not fond of the kind of downer ambiguous ending or the vaguely Jedi-critical sentiments that maybe lace through the episode.
That being said, it is a good one and definitely worth at least a couple watches. Contributes to the melancholy, "Everything is going to change" feel the last few episodes leading up to Malachor had. And that was one of this season's strengths, the build-up to what they knew would be a status quo-changing finale. Also contributes to the wider arc of the "five year plan" and the secret reason Palpatine was interested in Lothal, laying down the tracks for that reveal eeeearrrly so that it feels completely natural.
Love that. Between that and Ezra and Kanan being badass it's not terrible, just not my favorite.
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Thanks for the tag @joestarling 💖
1. How many fics do you have on AO3? 85, including none Mat fics.
2. What's your total AO3 word count? 203,323
3. What fandoms do you write for? Mainly Mat fandoms but in the past, I wrote some DC (mainly Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, etc.)
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos? Cats and Birds Never Did Play Well Together - DC - Jay/Tim - 770 kudos The Carnality of Twist-It - BBC Ghosts - The Captain/Thomas - 349 kudos On Loan - DC - Dick/Slade, Dick/Jason - 314 kudos Catching Up With My Eyes Wide Shut - BBC Ghosts - The Captain/Julian/Thomas - 214 kudos Don't Knock It Until You've Tried It - BBC Ghosts - Julian/Thomas - 140 kudos
5. Do you respond to comments? It depends on the comment and the commentor. I know I can get away with not replying to every comment from some people, they know I love and appreciate everything they say but if it's someone I don't know, I will tend to reply in the hopes that they'll read more of my things!
6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Possibly Ariel's Parting Gift, simply because it ends in pretty much the same way that YMATA does with some added angst.
7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? I don't know, maybe Fanny Five Ways, it ends pretty well for Fanny?
8. Do you get hate on fics? Not directly, though I know that there's some hate on the previously mentioned fic on Twitter 🙃
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yep, it's all I write, usually at least elements at BDSM or kink, very rarely soft.
10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I do write crossovers but mainly Mat characters with Mat characters from different universes. I guess the craziest ones that I write are when I have Mat himself with Thomas and Julian and I guess that's a tad far fetched but it was fun to write and hopefully fun to read!
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of but myself and @joestarling seem to readily influence each other with fic ideas and universes and it's wonderful &lt;3
12. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? I did when I was much younger but my "cowriting", I wrote one chapter and they wrote another and we didn't really input into each others chapters because I don't like criticism 🤣
13. What's your all time favourite ship? Ariel/Chris
14. What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you will? To be honest, I always end up coming up with ideas for further chapters of most of the fics that I write but there's no way that I'll finish them or even start them in some cases.
15. What are your writing strengths? Honestly, I don't know really. I can tell you what I like in my own fics and it's my own style of writing? I know I like this because I read a writer whose writing felt very similar to mine and I found it so easy and so enjoyable to read.
16. What are your writing weaknesses? Self-doubt, needing very precise conditions to be able to write, laziness when it comes to editing, and much, much more.
17. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? What I'd normally do is just write the dialogue in English, in Italics and make it clear that it's a different language, that's what I did for writing Russian in an unpublished fic.
18. First fandom you wrote for? Back to the Future, it's still out there, just not on my AO3 account.
19. Favourite fic you've written? My personal favourite is my recent Ariel/Tentacle fic because I've wanted to write it for a while and I could write it in the exact way that it existed in my brain?
(Not tagging because I don't really know anyone else that writes fic - but if you see this and you want to do it, feel free to and tag me in your answers!)
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