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mah-gah-lee · 4 years ago

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be stuck with you - owen patrick joyner x (reader)

Word Count: 2303

Request: YES, from that sweet @idontcare011, hope you’ll like it !

Summary: you were late and a random boy comes into the elevator at the last minute. By some incredible force of fate (or pretty crappy weather) you find yourself stuck with the young man in this narrow cabin.

Warnings: panic attack and i think it’s all

disclaimer: I don't know Owen personally or what his life is like. All you will read in this "x reader" is from my imagination. My point is not to invade Owen's privacy. I don't want to offend him or offend anybody else in his life (family, potential girlfriend…I heard maybe he has one, so I don’t know but I don’t want to offend her). All of this is not the reality

Tagged: @asdfghjkl-fanfics @standingtalllove @lukeys-giggle

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Thanks God, the quarantine was over and everyone could travel again. However, this stupid virus was not completely gone. Since the health crisis, you have adopted new habits, such as taking the stairs instead of the elevator. But today, you were in a hurry, so you entered the cabin eagerly. The conference you were due to attend was starting in no less than twenty minutes, and your itinerary had said it would take you 15 to get to your planned location. But with the weather conditions creeping in out there, you were sure you would need a lot longer than advertised. The automatic door was closing when a hand stepped in the way. A young blond man appeared and slipped into the elevator. You grumbled at the action, making you fall a few more seconds behind.

"Sorry" the boy said through his mask.

But you didn't answer.

You had almost ten floors to go down together. You looked in your bag for a while to make sure you had your recorder when you felt an uncontrolled jerk. Your body no longer held you in balance but you caught yourself on a side of the elevator as the young man accompanying you tended to stabilize you. The lights flashed for a while and then went out. Your eyes widened as your heart pounded.

"oh no no no no no no no. Anything except that, please!" you said, frantically pressing a random button.

“I think we stuck…”

"Oh yeah, what makes you think that?" The fact that we weren't moving or that the lights went out? "

The boy threw up his hands in defense, eyes wide with so much animosity.

"Hey, I'm in the same situation. You don't have to be aggressive."

You groaned before leaning against one of the elevator walls, peering into the face of your elevator failure companion. He had blond hair; his tips reached the base of his neck. But his expressive blue eyes - seeming constantly anxious - reminded you of someone, but you didn't know who. You have pushed the alarm button to warn the staff that there was someone in the lift.

“Sorry, it’s seems to be a bad day. I’m late and now I’m stuck in an elevator with a perfect stranger”

“I’m Owen…Not a stranger anymore”

“I’m y/n, but yes, you still are”

Owen laughed at your outspokenness and you gave him a polite smile before you were silent for several minutes.

After what seemed like forever - when it was only ten minutes - you looked at your phone. No networks. For no obvious reason, when everything seemed to be going well, your heart started to beat faster. The thought of being stuck here forever crossed your mind and ached in your chest. The boy in front of you seemed so calm, which made you even more anxious.

"How the hell can you stay so calm"

"Oh ... I'm dying inside, just trying to play it cool"

You can help with giving him an amused smile, he had been so frank. But this little interaction did not bring you back down from your state. You were breathing harder and harder, your chest was heaving quickly, it was nearly out of control. Owen seemed to notice that and give you a concerned look.

"Panic attack?"

You nodded briskly and Owen approached you cautiously. You saw his hands move towards you and your gaze expressed fear but you were paralyzed to do anything.

"I'm going to take that damn mask off you already."

Gently, he grabbed the fabric mask and pulled a little on it to lower it, he reproduced the gesture with his own mask.

"Look at me, just me. There's nothing around us. Take a deep breath. I'll count to 3 and then you'll breathe out. Okay?"

you nodded and when he shook his to urge you to breathe you took a deep breath, like he told you to.

"1..2..3"

You sighed, keeping your gaze on him. You started once more and when the blonde asked you if it was better, you were shaking your head negatively.

"We're starting over but… take my hands and squeeze them as much as you need. Don't worry about grinding them."

You grabbed his hands and restarted each step over, crushing his hands. But the contact with matter, your breath and Owen's comforting eyes, help you gently. A soothing silence has settled between you. Owen had helped you through this panic attack when you didn't even know each other. But you could feel deep inside that this man was good. Things seemed to calm down for you and you thanked Owen with a genuine smile.

“You know how to deal with it ... Thanks for that.”

“I also suffer from anxiety and panic attack. But the elevator is big enough here that it doesn't cause me one. Although I am a little anxious ...”

“hey, breathe Owen.” You replied with a smirk

Owen laughed and shook his head as if to say "that's a good one!" You look at the young man again, staring at him intently. It was very rude but you couldn't put a name on his face anymore. You were sure you knew him. Was he a distant cousin? A neighbor? A guy you knew in high school? Or just a guy you saw in an ad? Maybe the ad for these new cereals!

“Excuse me but ... I've seen you somewhere before, haven't I?”

“In an elevator, yeah!” he joked

You laughed he was funny

“No, I mean ... I feel like I've seen you before but I really can't remember where.”

he sighed, as if a little tired of the question. You were surprised at his reaction but Owen answers you anyway

“Yeah, I don't usually talk about that when I first meet a girl, especially when I'm stuck in an elevator with her but ... I'm an actor. I played some stuff on Nickelodeon and now I'm supposed to shoot season two of Julie and the phantoms, it's a Netflix series.”

You watched him chattering, you nodded then wide your eyes. This is where you saw it! You had been relentlessly browsing the Netflix catalog and seeing the trailer for the series he told you about, but you had avoided it, the show seemed too childish for you. You first reaction was to make fun of him

"Again, don't forget to breath Owen. But the way, I didn’t want to bother you with that question."

He laughed lightly then smiled politely at you. You didn't seem to be a hysteric or a weird person. He had a deep feeling that you were a good person, which is why Owen seemed to relax.

"It's just ... for a while, I thought you were a fan and I didn't want things to be weird all suddenly "

"Oh don't worry I haven't seen any of your shows.” you said nonchalantly

Owen burst into laughter. Once again, it was bafflingly sincere and he was really starting to enjoy being stuck in an elevator with you. You smiled, the energy in the cabin was positive that you almost forgot you were stuck with this young man for almost half an hour. You didn't know when you were going to be able to get out of here but you didn't really care anymore for the sole reason that you wanted to get to know this man. You tilted your head back, resting it against the elevator wall before sighing loudly. Seconds later, your gaze turned to Owen again.

“So tell me about this series that you’re filming. What is it about?”

"It's a pretty cool show actually. It's directed by Kenny Ortega, I don't know if you see who he is."

"Hell yeah ... he's the choreographer of Dirty Dancing"

"Himself ... So what about the storyboard ... It's about ..."

And then, you listened to him to tell you about the series. Something like a '90s band dying of food poisoning from a bad hotdog and returning twenty-five years later as ghosts to help a super talented young girl to make music after her mom passed away. It made you laugh; it was probably the dumbest death on TV after Marion Cotillard's in Batman. He couldn't even stop anymore so that he sometimes swapped over a few anecdotes from the set. You even got a little exclusive on season two before Owen stopped in the middle of a sentence.

"Sorry, I got a little carried away. But when you like your job, it's pretty easy to talk about it."

You smiled at him and Owen started asking you questions, about your work, your life, your passions and you were giving him back. The conversation was fluid, natural You learned that he was German, that his mother tongue was German until he was about four years old, that he had a sister and had lived with his parents until that year when he moved into his own apartment. Getting to know Owen was really nice and you could feel your stomach twist every time he smiled. He was a boy full of humor but also sarcasm.

You've been stuck with Owen for an hour and a half now. You ended up sitting on the floor of the elevator. Boredom was really starting to take hold of you. You rummaged through your bag for something, anything. An idea crossed your mind when you saw the small block of post-it notes.

"Owen"

"hmm?"

"How would you like to play a game?"

"What kind of game do you want to play here?"

"Who am I?"

"Obviously you are y/n" he tells you with a smirk.

You laughed before pulling out your notepad and a pencil to show it to the blonde. He claimed to have understood your intention, which made you smile even more. Of course, Owen knew the game you wanted to play. He nodded, and you'd write a celebrity's name on a sticky note before sticking it on your new friend's forehead. He did the same for you. Fortunately, your two post-its are well stuck. Owen spoke

"I start: am I a man?"

"Obviously" you say with a smirk, responding to the blonde's previous joke.

Owen laughed, catching the tone of your voice.

“But how funny she is! Is my character a man?” He continued.

You did several parts. You even teased him when he made you guess Julie and the phantoms, because the game didn't stop only with characters, celebrities but also series, movies, musicals. You were laughing when there was another shake, stronger than the first, the lights came back on and you couldn't help but be disappointed. You looked at Owen and he seemed to have the same gaze as yours. The doors barely opened and you found the hotel staff, patiently waiting to ask if you needed medical assistance, while also offering you a bottle of water. You left the elevator car, hurriedly stuffing the many post-its into your bag. You didn't really know how to act with the blond guy next to you. You had formed a little bubble in that enclosed space and now it seemed to have burst. For some strange reason, it made you sad. Now is the time to part ways with your new friend.

“well, good-goodbye, it was nice to meet you.”

you rushed into the hotel lobby a little more, but Owen seemed to catch up with you, his long legs only having to take a few strides.

"wait, y/n!"

You turned to him, you could see the embarrassment on his cheeks, asking with a frown what was the cause.

"I think you let that go"

"No, I don't"

You looked at the crumpled white paper. It even looked like a piece of chewing gum. And at first glance, Owen's perfectly white teeth were chewing one.

"I think you did."

He handed you the paper with a determination that convinces you. You bite your lip as you look at the series of numbers on the packaging: a phone number. His telephone number. Owen swallowed hard as he looked at you. His eyes never leaving your lips.

"It's pretty spontaneous of me but ... I won't start filming until next week. I hope you're still here the day after tomorrow ... because I would really like to ask you to come have a drink with me ... "

Your cheeks turned red, did he really just ask you for a date? You did not know what to answer. The urge to say yes was so present but you were afraid to rush. Perhaps humor was your only defense

"it depends"

"about what?"

"Does this appointment include a blocking session in an elevator? This is the only way it works"

Owen laughed before giving you a genuine smile, showing his perfectly aligned white teeth. God, what a beautiful man.

"I can try to fix this and find a faulty elevator."

"So expect a text from me"

You smiled back at him and gave him a wink before turning on your heels. Owen's heart skipped a beat and he when he arrived several hours late in the hairdressing section of the set, Charlie laughed at him saying that he had never seen him so happy to have a haircut. hair. But in reality, the blond was only waiting for one thing, and that was to receive a message from you, which arrived in a second.

(y/n) text : "After being stuck in an elevator, here I am stuck in traffic ... Are you sure you want a date with me, you might just end up stuck with me?"

Owen couldn't help but smile broadly.

Owen text : "I'm sure. I'd love to even be stuck with you (again).”

(y/n) text : “Fine, ghost boy. See you soon”

#owen patrick joyner #owen joyner #owen patrick joyner x reader #owen joyner x reader #jatp cast x reader #jatp cast imagine #julie and the phantoms #jatp

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dtrhwithalex · 3 years ago

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TV | Leverage (Season 1, Rewatch)

Rewatch of the first season of TNT's LEVERAGE (2008-2012), created by John Rogers and Chris Downey together with Dean Devlin and his production company Electric Entertainment.

In anticipation of the show's reboot / revival / sequel LEVERAGE: REDEMPTION coming to IMDbTV on 09 July this year, I am rewatching the original 77 episodes and writing about my favourite moments and things from each episode, season by season.

(Just a note, this first season was aired out of order, so the dates won't actually form a chronology, since I'm going with the intended order rather than the one they were aired in.)

101: THE NIGERIAN JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS & CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 07 December 2008.

I have lost count of how many times I have seen this episode (or any episodes of this show to be completely honest), but it holds up every single time. It is one of my favourite, if not the favourite TV pilot episode I have ever seen.

The way this pilot sets up who the main characters are and what the core of this show is, is simply perfect. The introduction of Nate at the bar being approached by Dubenich, then the intercut between him convincing Nate to do the job and the actual job happening -- just wonderful. The same goes for the individual introductions of the other players. Nate's comment about Parker ("no, but Parker is insane") which plants a thread for the rest of the show already, the flashbacks of each character to exemplify who they and what their talents are, combined with the episode then showing you those talents and what Nate can do with them -- which is, of course, his talent -- sets up this whole show so well.

So many seeds that come to fruition throughout the show are already planted right here. Nate's mentoring of Parker to become his eventual successor as Mastermind ("Haircuts, Parker, count the haircuts" -- "I would've missed that"), Eliot's role as protector, the iconic overhead shots and the gloating, the alternate revenue streams, "Hardison dies in Plan M" -- it's all already right here in this episode. A brilliant piece of writing. Hats off to Rogers and Downey, no questions asked.

Rewatching this episode made me think of what this show is about, in its essence. Yes, it is about standing up for those who can't do so themselves, taking on the bigger bad, showing how corrupt and terrible the world can be, but also how much good there is to still find in the world. But also, this show is about a lonely man being actively bullied into the family he didn't know he needed or wanted, but will eventually come to realise is the one thing, the only thing that is keeping him alive. LEVERAGE is the story of a man and his crusade to avenge the death of his child, but is is very much also the story of a man who finds a reason to keep getting up every morning in the four people who are on this crusade with him. And this pilot episode already holds the seed and the potential of all of that. And that is why this show is to this day still my favourite show of all time, because it is utterly perfect in every way.

102: THE HOMECOMING JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 09 December 2008.

I absolutely love how John Rogers was like okay first episode, some greedy asshole who does whatever he wants for his own gain, we'll take him down a notch. Episode two? Hmm, oh yeah, the government is completely corrupt, filled with rich greedy assholes who do whatever they want for their own gain and always get away with it. Not on my watch (I love him very much, thank you).

This episode, once again, so good. The re-introduction of every character in this new reality of Nate's crusade is just as brilliantly done as the original introduction of them all. Sophie at an audition (love the John Rogers cameo here) completely butchering it once again, Eliot beating up some thug, Parker stealing valuable art, and Hardison doing what he does best: creating a beautiful office-slash-home space for the team, putting his all into their backstories, the equipment, the behind-the-scenes workings of what they need to get the job done. My man.

The message of this particular episode is also just something I am very fond of. The rehab facility doctor's words in the beginning, and then in the end again -- "people don't just show up to help. that's not the way the world works" -- as well as Nate's ultimate answer to her, "so change the world." That right here is the message of this show. It's already right here, all up in your face, episode two.

I completely adore what this episode does for the character dynamics already. The detail Hardison puts into the other's backstories, the interactions around the conference table, Eliot sharing his knowledge, Nate explaining the money laundering scam, the whole thing about laws being in a wooden box, Sophie elaborating why she knew Congressman Jenkins was lying to her -- they don't just work together, they already start giving the others insight into their talents and their knowledge and share that. It's beautiful. I especially adore the shot of them at the end, everyone leaning against the car while watching Corporal Perry and the other veterans debating what to do with the money. They are already so comfortable and at ease with each other, leaning into each other's spaces. They're family. You can see it here already.

Absolutely fantastic episode. For a long time, whenever I thought about The Homecoming Job, I somehow associated a more negative emotion with it than with other episodes, but I don't quite know why, because this is a brilliant episode and I love watching it.

103: THE WEDDING JOB

D: JONATHAN FRAKES. W: CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 13 January 2009.

We love Jonathan Frakes in this house and every single time his name shows up with the director tag on this show, I know that I will enjoy every last second of the episode I am about to watch. Frakes directed the hell outta this thing. The Wedding Job is an absolutely excellent episode. Dan Lauria as our main baddie Nicky Moscone is perfect casting and there are so many great comedic beats in the scenes with him and Nate. Everyone, generally, is so weirded out by Priest!Nate, but Moscone just takes the weirdness in stride. This episode holds a very special place in my heart because it contains the introduction of my favourite FBI duo -- McSweeten (McSweetheart, as we call him) and Taggert. I adore these two bumbling fools so much, and I am so glad they kept being brought back, because they are both just so lovely. McSweetheart especially is very dear to me because of the D.B. Cooper Job from the last season (where, I ask, do I start my McSweetheart for Leverage: Redemption campaign?). Overall just such an excellent episode, really. So many great moments between our main characters--Sophie and Nate and their little "relationship" problem, Hardison and Eliot talking about marriage, Parker pretending she was waiting in the screening room to have sex with Hardison, Hardison appreciating Eliot's cooking. I also absolutely adore the beginning, the four of them convincing Nate that Teresa is definitely the type of client they take on. And Nate's resigned "Yeah, okay, yeah. Let's go rob Nicky Moscone. A guy who kills people and lives in our city. Yeah, let's go do that" as if they weren't going to go above and beyond any of that in the five years they will spend together on this crusade of his. You're so precious, Nathan. Of course, the ending of this episode is beyond brilliant, and lives both in my heart and my head rent free. It is such a magnificent found family moment. Getting Teresa the restaurant back, the news footage regarding Ray's appeal, and of course, Eliot cooking for them all, and them celebrating together, all of them. It is such a beautiful moment.

104: THE SNOW JOB

D: TONY BILL. W: ALBERT KIM. Original Air Date: 27 January 2009.

I adore what the client says to Nate in the beginning of the episode: "You work hard, you play by the rules, but when you need help, you really need help? They let you hang. They let you hang and it's your kid who pays the price." This show hammers home its message so many times in such great character moments and it makes watching these brilliant people take on these greedy bastards and robbing them for all they've got that much sweeter. It is such a satisfying thing to watch. Especially because they're all so damn good at this.

This is a great episode but it is infinitely funnier if you know and speak German, because it makes the scenes between Sophie and Eliot absolutely hysterical. And the delivery of the line that Ute Ausgartner says when she discovers they replaced her with Sophie is just wrong enough to crack you up.

Again some wonderfully brilliant comedic beats -- the Frakes cameo in the hospital waiting room, Parker casually hanging off the ski lift, Hardison and Eliot arguing over who puts dye in the dead body, Eliot carrying off a pissed of Parker, and so many more.

This episode also, for the first time, really gives insight into Nate's drinking problem. We had the one moment in The Homecoming Job, but this episode starts to explore it more in depths. And something that I've always appreciated about this show is that it never glorifies the drinking, but Nate is also never vilified for it. It is a fact of Nate's life and they explore different aspects of it, and everything is done with such care (which does not surprise me one bit since this is John Rogers' show).

The ending of this episode is also, once again, so beautiful and nicely done. It is just so incredibly satisfying to watch these greedy bastards get what's coming to them, and to see the clients be compensated beyond anything they'd ask for.

105: THE MILE HIGH JOB

D: ROB MINKOFF. W: AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 20 January 2009.

Another fantastic episode (you will realise that I will say this about every single of the 77 episodes this show has)! Amy Berg wrote some excellent stuff for this show, and this episode is one of them. Always a lot of great character relationship moments, and absolutely brilliant comedic beats.

I am very fond of the fact that here, in the early days, we have the whole team present around the table during the client meeting. We see all their reactions and inputs here already, and not later when Nate or Hardison (usually) relays the information of their next job to the rest of the gang. It's a very lovely moment.

I am also very fond of the entire recon bit at the GenoGrow office. Sophie's French rave-girl act, the others having to climb stairs, Hardison's absence, the cut from Parker's bomb to the microwave at the HQ, Nate, Eliot and Parker yelling "Oh it's right behind us, it's chasing us!" and grabbing Sophie on the way out, meanwhile the security guys completely buying it. Absolutely brilliant, all the way through.

Both Hardison's adventure at GenoGrow as well as the others on the plane contain so many great comedic moments. Hardison's Spanish maintenance guy act, his interactions with both Cheryl and Steve (talking into the cupboard? His fake meeting and getting Steve to take a dive? The whole birthday thing? A+ all around. Amy Berg, everyone) and of course the reaction he has to the plane safely landing on the highway ("lord I was so scared, I wanna cry and call my momma" I love him so much, y'all). I also have big feelings about Nate's pep talk to Hardison, "you can do this, I trust you ... the only guy I can count on in a situation like this." Sir, I am experiencing an emotion alright.

The sequences on the plane are of course also absolutely fantastic. Nate and Sophie's domestic, Parker's day job and her interactions with Marissa, Eliot being a big softie who holds Marissa's hand all the way up to the in-flight bar and hugs the woman he sat down next to when they safely land (womaniser, big softie. tomayto, tomahto). Also big shoutout to the fake names Nate and Sophie have. We love our DOCTOR WHO references in this show. I love these nerds very much, thank you.

106: THE TWO HORSE JOB

D: CRAIG R. BAXLEY. W: MELISSA GLENN & JESSICA RIEDER (GRASL). Original Air Date: 16 December 2008.

This episode also holds a very special place in my heart because it contains the introduction of our dearly beloved antagonist, Mr Jim Sterling, the absolutely amazing Mark Sheppard. We love Sterling in this house, yessir (again, where do I have to address my Jim Sterling For Leverage: Redemption campaign to?). Every moment he is in is fantastic, but I especially adore the conversation he has with Nate at the race track (especially the "Nathan Ford is a common criminal" -- "Common. That's just hurtful" bit of it).

This, of course, is an episode by our wonder twins, Glenn and Rieder (now Grasl), which they ended up naming the in-universe safe company after. Always fantastic work when the two of them are involved. Some amazing character moments again here.

We get to see some of Eliot's backstory with Aimee which in turn gives us two fantastic moments with him and the women of the team. I love his interaction with Sophie at the racetrack: "I like Aimee, I do. I mean it, I like you both, Eliot. I just, I don't know what comes of chasing the past, you know." -- "Well Sophie, sweetie, I don't think you and Nate get to serve me that particular meal." Just fantastic moment between these two, who I like to call The Conference of Mom Friends whenever they are in scenes together. The other interaction is with Parker in the car: "We need you to do this. I need you to do this." I adore Eliot and Parker's relationship and this already is a very early glimpse at the dynamic they develop which will eventually lead to beautiful moments like that in the ice cave in The Long Way Down Job in season four.

I also love how it is Hardison and Parker's discussion about horses that ultimately reminds Nate of the Lost Heir con. Aldis' delivery of "Wilbur loved Mr Ed! He loved him like a second cousin twice removed" is absolutely brilliant. Unsurprisingly, however, my favourite interaction of this episode is the one Eliot has with Aimee at the end: "You're never gonna be the kind to settle down, but I'm glad you found a family." -- "Th-those guys?" Yes, Eliot, those guys. You might not know it just yet, but that is absolutely your family, and the fact that an outsider already comments on it this early is simply perfect. My deepest gratitude to you, wonder twins.

107: THE BANK SHOT JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: AMY BERG. Original Air Date: 30 December 2008.

Amy Berg on the typewriter once again (typewriter? Alex what are you talking about this was 2008...)! I really like this episode a whole lot. An excellent one for Nate/Sophie, as well as Hardison/Parker. I have a huge soft spot for my crime children pretending to be law enforcement. Any combination of them is good, but Parker and Hardison as FBI agents especially is just exquisite.

This episode is also just fantastic for illustrating some of the small town criminal activity that happens from the top down. Judge Roy's entire bit about how "these little people" will do and say whatever he tells them to do and that, because he is the law in the town, he gets to decide what is actually true and what is not. To then have Hardison fake security footage and them turning the story against Judge Roy is of course poetic justice. I adore the moment when the bank manager Frank decides that sticking with the false facts these random people have come up with is the better choice than having the judge remain in charge.

I also really love the interaction Derrick has with Sophie and then later with Parker, as well as the moment of uncertainty in-between. His "I don't know what to do with that" when Sophie tells him she's a thief is so funny and so good. The turn of "but they're criminals....then again" when he looks out of the window on the way to Parker is also just a nice moment to illustrate exactly what Parker then later says, "sometimes bad guys are the only good guys you get." Ethics and justice are such muddy concepts and especially in situations like Derrick is currently in, there is no way of knowing who is actually good, who is bad, and who is just trying their best. It is a lovely moment and once again, one of those great instances of "important message within character moment" that this show does so well.

Of course, I am also very fond of Hardison's mention of DOCTOR WHO, his "Geek power baby, stay strong" line, Eliot's fight scene with the crack dealers ("stay in the car!"), Hardison's bullshitting the demands at the bank (Hall & Oates!) and, of course, last but not least, the return of my favourite FBI fools, McSweetheart and Taggert, getting yet another win laid in their lap by the Leverage crew. This episode is filled to the brim with greatness.

108: THE MIRACLE JOB

D: ARVIN BROWN. W: CHRISTINE BOYLAN. Original Air Date: 23 December 2008.

An absolutely excellent Nate-centric episode! We finally get a bit more of a view into Nate's past, aside from the ever-present flashback to Sam's death at the hospital. I really like the relationship of Nate and Father Paul, which I think is very interesting and so well done. Through Paul we get another side of Nate, which may have stayed hidden otherwise. I am also very fond of how Maggie is introduced here. She doesn't get a voice yet, but we learn about her through Nate, Sophie and also Paul, and I quite like that. It sets up expectations for her appearance in the finale, which is really intriguing.

This episode has so many great comedic beats as well, and I barely even know where to begin. From the team's inability to deal with Sophie's acting talents (or lack thereof) to the whole "It's not Santa" gag, the amazing faces Sophie pulls when the mark tells her about Bibletopia, Hardison's "God will smite us" thing -- there is just too much good stuff in this episode.

One of my favourite interactions in this episode was on the construction site, after Grant takes what he thinks are his meds.

Sophie: What is that you just took? Grant: Xanax. For my nerves. Parker: Actually caffeine. With a dash of dextroamphetamine. Eliot: You have him speed? Hardison, shrugging: He beat up a priest!

The look Eliot gives them then with a half-shrug, an expression which cannot be described as anything but "aight, fair enough" -- just absolutely excellent.

What I also really loved about this episode, is that we get to see more of the HQ than just the conference room. We have the team meeting in Nate's office, we see Sophie picking through her mail, Hardison making space so he can build fake Saint Nick statues. Added to that, the team is setting into such a nice familiarity with each other. Eliot brings Sophie a cup of coffee to the meeting in Nate's office. The fact that they all do get mail at the office. This is their space. I love it so much.

What this episode also gives us, is a first instance of the con possibly going side-ways because of how convincing it is. I adore that their possible downfall will never be incompetence, but rather over-competence. They are so good at what they do that sometimes their talent comes to bite them in the ass. We see this again, a bit different, in The Juror #6 Job.

The ending of this episode is very dear to me. It is a very lovely moment between Nate and Paul, but also Nate and the team. It creates such a beautiful moment of intimacy between these characters, which I think is done with extreme care, and it shows. This episode also very nicely sets up a nice sort of grounded-ness for the next episode, which I think the subject matter really deserves and needs.

109: THE STORK JOB

D: MARC ROSKIN. W: ALBERT KIM. Original Air Date: 06 January 2009.

This one and the next episode are excellent Parker-centric plots and this one in particular also has some wonderful Parker/Hardison content. Nate, also, is just very good in this episode as well. Keeping the tone the last episode established especially toward the end, this episode has such a nice grounded-ness to it. Nate's first meeting with the client is so careful in a way, and we don't always see that. Generally, Nate is careful and considerate in this episode, I think. Even when Parker goes rogue, he is so good with Parker (I attribute the brashness entirely to his director role here). It meant so much that he doesn't shoot down the idea of coming back for the other orphans, he knows how important this is to Parker (and Hardison).

With this episode we learn that both Parker and Hardison have grown up in the foster system. I really adore the conversation they have at the van after they find out about the orphanage -- Hardison telling Parker about his Nana, Parker's fear that foster system will be cruel to those children, Hardison's "I like how you turned out" -- it is such a lovely and meaningful moment. This and the "we're a team" / "a little more than a team" moments are such great instances that highlight the importance of these characters and their relationships in this show. It isn't just some crime procedural where every characters is replaceable at any given moment -- this show is about people, and about these specific people.

On a lighter note, I also really adore Nate and Sophie's dynamic in this. How they coach Parker and Eliot individually but at the same time, while also arguing about Sophie conning Nate back in the day, is just brilliant. Their "delightful banter" as Hardison calls it, is so good, and I absolutely love that Nate figures out the way to con Irina is the same way he would have to con Sophie. It's just too good.

David S. Lee as Nicholas is also incredibly good, although since watching THE LIBRARIANS I always expect him to swoon over a blonde and call her Duchess any minute.

110: THE JUROR #6 JOB

D: JONATHAN FRAKES. W: REBECCA KIRSCH. Original Air Date: 10 February 2009.

The lighter of the two Parker-centric episodes, but a brilliant one nonetheless. This episode also brings us the introduction of Peggy played by the lovely Lisa Schurga. We love Peggy in this house and, once again, I ask: where do I address my Peggy For Leverage: Redemption campaign to?

This episode is great for many different reasons, one of course being that Hardison is so good at what he does, that Parker's alias has to go to jury duty. What a talent, we absolutely have no choice but to stan. I love him so much. Other fantastic things that make this episode absolutely excellent are

- Nate's "there is not some evil conspiracy lurking behind the curtain of every routine civic activity" speech which he then has to retract,

- Sophie teaching Parker about persuasion with the help of Eliot who is absolutely precious in this interaction,

- Eliot's friend Donnie, who poses as another employee from the company Sophie pretends to be from, who then turns out to be Scottish,

- Nate and Sophie sending the kids off to work at the door, with a briefcase and handshake for Hardison and a snack and high-five for Parker,

and Hardison's entire act as a lawyer. He is so good. Of course his stalling is brilliant, but the turn-around once he has to actually try and win the trial? A masterpiece. I love how he tears the doctor apart for his drunken airplane misconducts, but what takes the cake by miles is of course his closing statement. He is just, so good, and such a goodhearted, wonderful person. I love how he directly addressed Parker. Hardison is full of sunshine and I love. him. so. much.

And I would be remiss not to mention how incredibly fond I am of the rest of the team watching the feed of the jury room from the HQ with such proud looks on their faces as Parker leads the other jury members and they vote in favour of the plaintiff. This is their girl and she's done so well. What a brilliant episode. My love to Becky Kirsch, honestly.

111: THE 12-STEP JOB

D: ROD HARDY. W: AMY BERG & CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 03 February 2009.

Another episode, another instance of me asking the question: Where do I address my Hurley for Leverage: Redemption campaign to? We love Hurley! Drew Powell is absolutely fantastic, I adore him. Also huge shoutout to Joseph LoDuca for that absolute banger of a song that plays during the intro and the credits.

This episode has some fantastic Eliot/Hardison moments that are very dear to me. The two of them looking for Hurley and fighting over Hardison's slushy spill is just lovely. The whole car bomb sequence is also just completely brilliant. It's such a step in their relationship and I love it so much. The moment of "D'you want me to kick it?" / "God, I'm gon' die" is a wonderful comedic beat in this tense situation, but it is the bit after that I really adore. Hardison figuring out how to trick the bomb and then,

Eliot: What's our margin of error here? Hardison: 'bout half a second. Eliot: Run the ba-bag of bricks by me again? Hardison: Are you ready? Eliot: No.

I am just, so fond of these two. Also the fact that Eliot's hand shakes when he reaches for the cables and waits for Hardison's signal always puts me all up in my feelings about him. I also of course adore the scene at the rehab facility with Hardison's "I'm with him. No, I am with him. See, he thinks the flirting makes me jealous, but it doesn't. But if you was like Brad Pitt or Denzel or somebody, oh girl it would be on." It love it so much.

Nate, of course, is also just great in this episode. His entire experience in rehab is another wonderful insight into his character, his issues, how he sees himself and so on. The hallucination of Sterling says so much about him. I think this also very nicely sets up how Nate behaves in the finale double episode.

I also really want to mention Parker here, because Parker in rehab is also something I am very fond of. I love the moment where she pickpockets the Koreans searching for Hurley and then so innocently comes to Nate to confess what she's done and tells him in this tiny voice "I didn't meant to, it was just instinct." I love her so much. And her, at the end of the episode, skipping along and then running toward her people, jumping on Eliot while tossing her stuff at Nate, and then going to hug Hardison, is such a lovely moment. I love how the three of them then walk toward the car arm in arm, too. I love these kids.

112: THE FIRST DAVID JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS. Original Air Date: 17 February 2009.

First half of the first finale! I gotta say I really love the David Jobs very much. It is such a fantastic first finale. I really adore how the opening of this episode is mirrored in the opening of the second half.

Given the set-up of the previous episode, I really like how for a first time watcher, this opening sequence very much looks like Nate is completely off the rails doing his own thing getting revenge on the man who, basically, killed his son. It isn't until Blackpoole introduces Nate to 'Portia' and we see Sophie turn around that it becomes clear that we're on the con, which I think is done very nicely. Only then giving the viewer the "how we got here" part is just great.

This episode of course also brings us, finally, Maggie (yes, I'll ask again: where do I address my Maggie For Leverage: Redemption campaign to?). I absolutely love how she is introduced here as Eliot's date. I also love how absolutely terrified Eliot looks once he realises that she isn't just anyone, but Nate's ex-wife. Maggie is such an excellent character, and I adore her. I also am very appreciative that this episode holds the singular moment of jealousy Sophie has toward Maggie. After her momentary outburst as Maggie tells Nate she hasn't stopped caring about him, we never see it again. Even better, once Maggie learns about Nate's crew, Sophie and her even become friends. And it is lovely.

We also have some great Parker/Hardison moments in this episode as well. I adore Parker and her enthusiasm for their "little naked man" and Hardison being weirded out about it (and turning the little David around so Parker can change in private). I, of course, absolutely love the kiss (and Eliot's grinning question at Sophie who of the two of them Parker had kissed) and then the theft of the First David. Hardison is so in awe of Parker and it is a sight to behold.

I also quite enjoy the "downfall" in this episode. Sterling showing up (we love the bastard), the fight between Eliot and Mr Quinn, the conversation about Sophie conning them on the roof, and then of course the final confrontations on that same roof as well as the HQ. This whole thing of "and then I asked myself, what would Parker do?" / "but then I thought, what would Hardison do?" is just brilliant and lovely. It shows how far they have all come throughout this first season and how much they have learned from each other already. I am very fond of it.

I am sad about the offices being blown up, though. As much as I love both McRory's pub and Nate's apartment in Boston, as well as the Brewpub in Portland, I've always really liked the LA offices as well. It was their first home and it was lovely. I am however very happy that Old Nate made it out unscathed.

113: THE SECOND DAVID JOB

D: DEAN DEVLIN. W: JOHN ROGERS & CHRIS DOWNEY. Original Air Date: 24 February 2009.

And the last episode! As I've said above, I adore how this opening sequence mirrors that of The First David Job. Similarly, I also love how until Sophie notices Parker's laser pointer and Eliot sees Hardison, as a viewer you assume they are on the job together, which is again the reversal of the first half of the finale. Just lovely storytelling, I adore it. Speaking of mirrors, the scene in the MC Hammer mansion where Nate inconspicuously manages to get them all thinking about the con together and putting their differences aside once more, also mirrors one of my favourite scenes from the first episode of season two, where the team does the same to Nate.

This episode on the whole I also just marvellous. Eliot's awkward date with Maggie, Nate finally telling Maggie about Blackpoole's involvement (or lack thereof) in Sam's death, the team involving Maggie in the planning of the con and her, precious as she is, questioning Nate's ability to just get people to do what he wants -- it is all just so good. I love Maggie on the con, too. Sophie coaching her, how good Maggie is at it immediately. Just lovely.

Then, of course, the entirety of the con from the moment Nate shows up at the museum. Sterling hurrying all over the place trying to figure out what Nate's plan is, finding out about the mummy, the release of the gas, the evacuation, the David statue replicas, them finally getting in and finding Nate alone in the exhibit room. I adore that shot of him leaning against the display case with the two Davids still inside, only highlighted from the open hatch in the roof. It is such a beautiful shot. I really enjoy Nate and Sterling's dynamic here, too. And I am very happy that Maggie gets to punch Blackpoole just like Nate got to in the episode before. They both deserve to give this man hell.

The ending of this episode and therefore this season always has me in all of my emotions. If I didn't know there would be more after this, I would just go lie down and weep for a while after watching it. The trademark overhead walkaway shot is of course a must, but the fact that they stop, that all of them hesitate, thinking about turning around, thinking about changing their minds. And then it cuts to black, and if this had been it, we would've never known! Ah, what a show, what a first season. I am completely in love with this show, as pretty much everyone knows, but I just -- this show is so damn good. It gets me every single time. Every time.

[image taken from the electricnow website]

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inkribbon796 · 3 years ago

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Lost in a Lightning Storm Ch. 2: Far from Home

Summary: You shouldn’t talk about people, and not expect them to find out.

Chapters: 1, 2

While Henrik and Anti were talking to Tubbo and Logan, and then subsequently went off to Nate’s house to do some research, Mare went to go find Anti.

Anti was cackling with the Duke on some rooftop, who had escaped arrest after the chaos he had created. The two chaos-loving criminals were laughing and joking.

“Anti! Your boyfriend is getting too brave, you gotta[1] do something!” Mare said as he leaned over a massive air conditioning unit to get into the glitch’s face. Anti was lying on his back on the rooftop.

“Ooooooohhh~ You have a boyfriend?” Remus gave a huge smile, turning on his stomach and kicking his feet up like they were a bunch of pre-teens at a slumber party. “And you didn’t tell your best friend? For shame.”

“Shut up,” Anti kicked him in the face. Then he turned back to Mare. “I don’t got[2] a boyfriend.”

“Oh, yeah, then what the hell is he?” Mare bit back.

“None ‘a yer fookin’ business,”[3] Anti spat back.

“M’kay,[4] whatever,” Mare rolled his eyes. “Point is, he’s trying to find you.”

“I’m right here, let ‘im[5],” Anti scoffed, still lying on the ground.

“No, the old you, the human one,” Mare warned.

“Why?” Anti spat.

“I don’t know, humans are dumb,” Mare spat. “He’s your problem, you deal with him.”

“Fook[6] you!” Anti spat and stormed off.

Directly after he stormed off, he realized that he hadn’t asked Mare where Henrik was. But it was too late to storm off. Mostly because he overheard Remus trying to weedle information out of Mare. Anti was too in his own head to admit to even himself that he was embarrassed.

So he went out to find Henrik. Except he wasn’t at the hospital . . . and Logan didn’t seem to know where he was. He wasn’t at the hospital either so Anti ran around for a little bit and found them in Nate’s house.

For a couple moments, Anti debated on how upset Mare would be if he barged into his territory. Then he figured that if Mare didn’t want him to trespass, he shouldn’t have told him to take care of Henrik . . . and Anti had been in Nate’s house before on multiple occasions.

So Anti tripped about three alarms to get into the house and Nate and Henrik watched him stroll right into the living room where they were.

“Don’t yeh[7] two know not ta[8] talk about someone behind their back?” Anti layered on the glitching and blood as much as he could.

“You are certainly getting better at zat[9] effect,” Henrik complimented.

“You bleed on my carpet and I will stab you with a soul splitter,” Nate threatened.

Anti pulled out his knife, completely offended that they weren’t screaming in terror.

Nate helped up a stake, the wood was etched with runes and spell writing. “Anti, I don’t want to explain to the rest of your friends why you’re in pieces.”

“Why the fook are yeh diggin’ inta my personal shite?”[10] Anti demanded.

“Because zer is much I do not know about you, und I vish to correct zat,”[11] Henrik told him, Nate was on his computer, still looking through old census records and newspaper reports.

“I’m right the fook[6] here,” Anti spat.

“I cannot recall a time ven ve have ever talked about any’zing,”[12] Henrik told Anti pointedly.

Anti glared at him, his nose scrunched up like the demon was about to pull his lips back in a snarl. “Why, though? No point in lookin’[13] fer[14] a dead man.”

Henrik stood up, really studying Anti’s expression, “If it makes you uncomfortable, I can stop.”

Anti sputtered for a moment, “I don’t care.”

“I am serious Anti, if all zis[15] investigation makes you uncomfortable or vas[16] a traumatic experience, I vill[17] stop.”

A myriad of uncomfortable feelings, that Anti refused to unpack or acknowledge, prickled under his skin and boiled his blood. He absolutely refused to be afraid of some past specter he could barely remember. Anti was better than some human who’s only contribution to the world had been dying so that Anti could be brought into the world.

So instead Anti just scoffed, some derisive, forced laugh, “Whate’er yeh two arses wanna dig up some dead bitch that did me the favor ‘a dyin’, go ahead. Here, I’ll e’en help.”[18]

Henrik watched for any sign that Anti was joking or would destroy Nate’s computer. “If you are certain.”

“Oh yeah,” Anti dismissed. “What did yeh shitebags find?”[19]

“Well,” Nate stalled as he watched Anti walk over, he stayed braced with his stake. “Don’t break my stuff.”

“I won’t,” Anti smiled. “Come on, we got some loser ta[8] find.”

“That “loser” is also a past version of you,” Nate pointedly reminded.

“Watch it, meatbag,” Anti warned. “If he wanted ta[8] stay alive, he shouldn’ta[20] died.”

“Eloquent,” Henrik commented.

“Shut,” Anti hissed back.

“Do you remember your country of origin?” Nate asked. “I’ve got several different deaths from lightning storms and factory accidents from the past 150—”

“I ne’er[21] worked in a factory,” Anti huffed, before mentally stalling because he couldn’t remember how he knew that, just that he did.

“Really?” Nate commented without even blinking. “That helps narrow it down. Means you only could have died from lightning if you’re as old as Mare says you are.”

“Mare needs ta[8] learn ta[8] keep his trap shut,” Anti scoffed.

“You were right there when he told me that, and you didn’t say anything,” Nate reminded.

Anti looked away from him, “I don’t remember this, it didn’t happen.”

“Anyways, do you remember where you came from?” Nate turned back to his computer. “I know the Septics first met you in Ireland, but are you from there too?”

“Been ta a lot ‘a places,”[22] Anti shrugged. “How am I supposed ta[8] know?”

“Well it vould[23] make it easier,” Henrik reminded.

Anti rolled his eyes, “I woke up in Australia. I hitched a ride on several hosts until I got ta[8] Ireland. I don’t know if I died there, my first ten years were a blur.”

“You are Australian?” Henrik was staring at Anti.

“No.” Hunching his shoulders up defensively, Anti glared at the doctor, “Maybe? I can’t remember. What’s it ta[8] yah[7]?”

“No, it’s not a bad thing,” Henrik rushed to say. “I just . . . it is a good thing.”

Nate and Anti just stared at him, neither of them sure which direction to take that comment, but Henrik wasn’t looking Anti in the eyes anymore. He was glancing at Anti though, a lot.

But with a country narrowed down, Nate was able to eliminate several different possible candidates. Until there were five people left, four men and one woman. Mostly because it wasn’t unheard of for gender changes to occur when a human became a demon.

“Okay,” Nate said. “We have: Caleb Carson, Hannah Laverty, Brendan O’Heyne, Angus Collins, and Joe Morrin. Does anyone sound familiar, I don’t see any pictures so . . .”

Anti’s brain felt clouded, like there was something wrong but he couldn’t place it. He felt the urge to stab something and run. Like he was in danger.

“Anti? Are you alright?” Henrik asked, there was a look on Anti’s face that the German doctor hadn’t seen on him before.

Anti’s attention drifted towards one of the names in particular. He had no memories left of that person.

Much of that person was gone now, eroded away by time, but snippets remained. Being arrested for something . . . feeling disgusting inside afterwards . . .

. . . Feeling sick as the boat wouldn’t stop shaking the world around him . . .

. . . The heat of the sun burning his skin, almost hot as the anger that burned inside of him . . .

. . . And then a deafening CRACK as he felt like his body was exploding with pain. And how they’d just . . .

“They left me there,” Anti remembered, his form glitching erratically. “They left my fookin’[24] corpse ta[8] rot!”

“Anti‽” Henrik called out but the two humans watched Anti violently shatter apart in a discorporation.

Nate surged up immediately and took out an amulet necklace. One he had once’s a while ago to safely carry Mare around. But he used his magic to scoop up as much of Anti’s aura as possible to keep him from fracturing.

“Vat[25] happened?” Henrik demanded.

“He must have remembered something,” Nate tried to calm Henrik down as he was casting spells to see how violent the discorporation was, “I don’t think it was a good thing.”

Henrik snatched the necklace away, looking at it. “Vill[17] he be alright?”

“He still seems to be in one piece, but it might take a while for him to reform,” Nate warned.

“I zink ve should stop,”[26] Henrik looked over at Nate’s laptop. “If I had known his reaction vould have been zis violent I vould have stopped ven he confronted us.”[27]

“Yeah,” Nate agreed and watched Henrik put the necklace on. “Be careful with him, an injured demon’s a more dangerous one.”

“I vill[17],” Henrik promised, and gathered up his stuff with a stiff thank you for Nate’s help and the doctor went over to his apartment with the necklace. Anti took a couple of days to reform, but he didn’t talk to Henrik. The demon would escape the necklace and then slip back in whenever Henrik was distracted or busy.

After almost a week since the incident at Nate’s house, Henrik decided that, if Anti wasn’t going to talk to him, Henrik would talk to Anti. He started out small, complaining about the coffee machine at the hospital, about how muggy the weather was.

Then, one night, while Henrik was sitting on his couch, watching some TV show, or at least had it on in the background while he was staring down at the necklace in his hands, the doctor decided to be a bit more blunt. He watched the gem, saw almost like glitchy lightning crackling underneath the surface. “I must admit, part of ze[28] reason I went digging vas[16] to get a reaction out of you.”

There was a pause to the energy in the necklace. But after a bit the glitched lightning continued as if nothing had happened.

“If you do not vant to talk about zis matter, I vill not force you,”[29] Henrik told him. “But I had hoped to get a violent reaction out of you, not to actually harm you. For zat[9] I am sorry.”

Anti’s aura shot out of the necklace was just staring at Henrik. “Why was that what yeh were goin’ fer?”[30]

“You have tried to kill me und[31] my friends many times, und[31] I vanted[32] to get you to attack me,” Henrik admitted.

“Why?” Anti scoffed, plopping down on Henrik’s couch. “If I wanted yeh[7] dead, I would’a[33] done it already.”

He took glared at him. “Zat[9] is exactly the problem, you have zis[15] odd stalking infatuation but you have tried to kill me in the past. Not to mention you utterly ruined Average’s marriage und[31] his ability to visit his children.”

“The fooker was gettin’ cucked an’ e’eryone knew it,”[34] Anti dismissed.

“She vas doin’ no’zing of ze sort,”[35] Henrik defended heatedly.

Anti looked away angrily.

The two sat in angry silence for a little while, before Henrik sighed, taking off his glasses to massage the bridge of his nose before carefully putting them back on. “Anti, vat do you vant out of zese interactions ve have?”[36]

The glitch demon decided he would rather talk about literally anything else, but his only other option was talking about his former human life and he wasn’t sure which made him look worse. “I like it when yeh[7] get angry at me.”

“Is it simply ze[28] anger or ze[28] attention?” Henrik asked, genuinely trying to understand.

Anti still wasn’t looking at him, deciding that he’d rather take the human talk. “My name used ta[8] be somethin’[37] else.”

“Vich[38] do you prefer?” Henrik asked.

“Anti,” Anti told him hesitantly.

“Zen[39] you are Anti,” Henrik agreed. “As you said, zat[9] man is dead, und[31] you are here.”

Something in Anti’s chest tightened, he didn’t like it. He didn’t like even the reminder that he was human. But he started leaning over towards Henrik. It was just a little bit of a lean, not enough to even get near Henrik. So the doctor closed the distance for him, lightly resting his shoulder against Anti’s.

“I zink zat you like the attention, vich I am more zen happy to give to you,”[40] Henrik smiled at him as Anti still refused to hold eye contact with him. “Und ven you know vat you vant, you can tell me in your own time.”[41]

For the rest of the night the two of them sat in almost near silence. Anti wasn’t ready to admit anything, but still tantalizingly close all the same. Anti getting closer and close to Henrik until the doctor was pressed up against the side of the couch and Anti was leaning against him. Anti sat next to Henrik as the doctor just ran his fingers through his hair. Anymore and Anti would have started hissing and pulling away. But as he leaned into the touch the glitch decided that he liked this attention.

Henrik occasionally looked over at Anti, smiling at him.

And if, as he scratched his fingers across his scalp, heard him give out very quiet purring sounds, the doctor decided not to tease the glitch demon about them . . . at least not yet.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post A/N: Anti in his AU used to be a man by the name of Angus (Jack’s “survivalist” character he made super early in his channel and in this AU Angus was arrested and sent to Australia where he subsequently died from a freak lightning storm, and then cue villain arc.

Side note: Henrik likes Anti’s Australian accent, he likes it a lot! No I will not back down from this extremely unpopular headcanon.

Accessibility Translations:

1. have to

2. have

3. None of your fucking business

4. Okay

5. him

6. Fuck

7. you

8. to

9. that

10. Why the fuck are you digging into my personal shit?

11. Because there is much I don’t know about you, and I wish to correct that

12. I can’t recall a time when we have ever talked about anything

13. looking

14. for

15. this

16. was

17. will

18. Whatever you two assholes want to dig up some dead bitch that did me the favor of dying, go ahead. Here, I’ll even help.

19. What did you shitbags find?

20. shouldn’t have

21. never

22. I’ve been to a lot of places

23. would

24. fucking

25. What

26. I think we should stop

27. If I had known his reaction would have been this violent I would have stopped when he confronted us.

28. the

29. If you do not want to talk about this matter, I will not force you

30. Why was that what you were going for?

31. and

32. wanted

33. would have

34. The fucker was getting cucked and everyone knew it

35. She was doing nothing of the sort

36. Anti, what do you want out of these interactions we have?

37: something

38. which

39. then

40. I think that you like the attention, which I am more then happy to give to you

41. And when you know what you want, you can tell me in your own time.

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #birthday post #footnotes #henrik von schneeplestein #antisepticeye #Nathan Sharp #Antistein #Doctor Glitch #Anti trying desperately to run away from his emotions #finally some relationship progress #Anti's just a scraggly alley cat that doesn't know how to get a home #Anti has feels #angst and feels

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redheadedteatotaler · 4 years ago

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First and foremost, special thank you to @ladymarinenc and @tonksiefea for their help with the summaries for all the YT News vids...I very much appreciate it. There’s a lot to cover there, and I have to break the stories down over a couple of days, as Tumblr will only allow so many video links in one post...and I have some new info revealed in the Editors Notes...let’s get into it!

We have several different topics to get to today...and I’m gonna start with the one that is likely the least concerning. The Book Cancellation. In case anyone was wondering, they’re doing this to completely eliminate Cara. Not because of what Gina said, but because they’re trying to get out of paying her royalties.

RK Outpost talks about how LuciferFilms has now canceled both the Mandalorian Original Novel as well as the VisualGuide. Which does not make sense if they were just taking out Cara Dune. He pointes out that clearly the divide between Darth Kennedy the Moronic and the Favreau/Foloni Side is clear. He also shows an article about how Pedro is putting Last of Us tv show as his "Main focus" but how the article originally said he "Could" Still be in Mando not he was until it was changed and that both Darth Kennedy the Moronic and Favreau have mentioned Book of Boba Fett as "Chapter 3" of the Mandalorian and that the filming that was supposed to be in April for Mandalorian is actually the Obiwan Series. (Which is once again Darth Kennedy the Moronic putting her projects before others). It seems Darth Kennedy the Moronic does not have an understanding of where to go with from here and has lost the plot with Mandalorian.

youtube

Fans also took to the internet to voice their absolute displeasure in Cara being ignored for International Women’s Day.

Yellowflash 2 weighed in, pointing out how well we see the crap that’s going on.

On International Womens Day, Star Wars official sm pages, they posted an excerpt from Star Wars: Women of the Galaxy celebrating Leia Organa. The post read “Leia Organa’s fearless bravery, intelligence, sharp wit and commitment to fighting galactic tyranny make her an inspiration not only to the Rebellion, but to generations of SW’s fans around the world.”

Fans see right through the bull and see how hypocritical Disney is being since firing Gina Carano.

Jim Riley on Facebook wrote, “You know who else is brave, intelligent, sharp witted and committed to fighting tyranny in real life as well as on the screen?” and he posts a picture of Gina.

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And now for the big news story of the day. The shareholder’s meeting. Bob Cheapskate was asked point blank about Gina being fired, and the possibility of Darth Kathleen the Hypocritical getting fired. His answers were less than stellar for both, and the Star Wars community is in an utter uproar. They claim there’s no Civil War going on....yet Bob’s answers point to the exact opposite. Our anchors couldn’t wait to weigh in.

Drunk 3P0 had a lot to say on the subject, and he’s been around Disney’s cast members more than most.

Mr. Chapek said Tuesday in the annual shareholder meeting that he “doesn’t see Disney as characterizing itself as left-leaning or right-leaning” when responding to a shareholder who accused Hollywood and the company of a double standard in firing Gina Carano from the Mandalorian because she’s a conservative.

While not speaking about the Gina Carano incident directly, he did say “Disney stands for values that are universal: respect, decency, integrity and inclusion and we seek to have the same content that we make reflective of the rich diversity of the world we live in. And I think that’s a world we should all live in harmony and peace.”

Jay has plenty of videos on his channel that show proof showing employees of Lucasfilm and how they do NOT fit into those Disney values. Behind the scenes can be much worse than we may think or Bob could just be “full of crap”.

youtube

Jeremy at The Quartering also talks about it, but goes further into the article than Jay did.

Disney stock is down almost 4%. During the question and answer portion of the meeting, Chapek confirmed that “Star Wars is dead and Lucasfilm will continue to be a stain on the company.”

When Chapek was asked, “Are you guys looking at firing KK or asking her to resign and promote somebody like Filoni or Favreau or both to the co-council?”

His response was “We’ve been absolutely thrilled that we can have the kind of creative talent in our company, the likes of kk running Lucas and we look forward to having K directing the activities of the entire Luciferfilm organization for many years to come.”

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Anna, That Star Wars Girl takes Cheapskate’s comments apart...

Anna goes through Bob Cheapskate's answer to the question about Disney having a blacklist as well as playing the clip of the question about Gina that was asked and Cheapskate's answer. She went through the parts of Cheapskate's answer and how it was lies directly disproving the points and once again showing Gina's tweet as about the German topics as well as Auschwitz Memorial's tweet and Pedro's Tweets about MAGA hats.

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Because Tumblr will only allow 5 videos per post, the news about the shareholder’s meeting will be featured for the next few days. I actually like the fact that I can’t bombard you all at once, as it gives people time to process the information in each video, and not have so much on their plate.

Also, starting tomorrow, some categories will be renamed, and the new categories will start to be a part of the newsletter.

I apologize that this one is so short, but I want to give everyone the chance to wrap their heads around what happened, and not have other stuff be overlooked.

Til next time!

#gina carano #the carano files

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erin-bo-berin · 5 years ago

Text

A Day In The Life

MASTERLIST

This daddy Spencer fic came to be by the thought of me wanting even MORE daddy Spence, so I thought why not write something where it’s just a typical day in his life with his family/the kids/pets? Thus, this was born. Just a heads up, this entire fic is told completely in Spencer’s point of view, just to give the utmost feels, which you should definitely experience in this.

Thank you to @teamkiall for giving me permission to use her real life pupper Hopper in this; he was so fun to write. Thank you to her for some of the phrases I used in this. Also, thank you to everyone who helped me pick which bunny to use as inspiration of Duke for, including: @reidsstudies, @andiebeaword, @lightinthedarkuniverse, @one-sweet-gubler, @nanocoool, @multifandommandy and the anons who all offered their input. I appreciate you all, greatly!

Finally, for a little insight on some of the bunny things I wrote about. For those who don’t know or aren’t as familiar with bunny behavior, I’ve linked a few Instagram posts for y’all to refer to when reading. It really helps when reading if you know what they look like.

Bunny Binky (in slow-mo, usually a lot quicker)

Bunny Flop

Bunny Loaf

Now sit back, relax and enjoy all 10.2k words of daddy Spencer. Happy reading!

Spencer Reid/Reader

Rating: G (fluff)

Word Count: 10,283

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!”

Spencer’s eyes opened to not only the bright morning sun, but to a wide awake, hyper, three year old little girl.

“Yes, baby?” he groaned, rubbing his eyes.

His little girl Evie—born Evie Laine Reid—was currently jumping up and down on the bed at his feet. She flung herself on top of him and he over exaggerated his reaction, acting like she was the heaviest thing, making her giggle.

“What are you doing up so early?” he asked, pulling her into his arms.

“It nawt eawly.”

One glance at the clock and he realized it was after 8:30 a.m.

“Where’s your mommy?” Spencer asked, looking over at the empty space in bed where his wife, Y/N, usually occupied.

In her place though was their German Shepherd, Hopper. He laid his head next to Spencer’s hand and Spencer smiled, giving him some ear scratches.

Hopper was a giant teddy bear. At only two years old, he’d had enough trauma in his own life that made Spencer want to adopt him even more than he initially had. The poor canine had been severely mistreated and starved to the point his ribs had been showing when Spencer first laid eyes on him. After telling Y/N about the dog, they both decided to make their home his forever home. Despite having been through such hardships, he was such a happy and loving dog. It’s one of the things that Spencer loved about him most.

Patches of brown and white made up his fur color, although he was mostly brown. His face was a majority brown, a few lighter brown patches surrounding his eyes and an almost gray hued spot just about his nose. His ears were almost bigger than his head and as comical as it was, it made him even cuter than he already was—if that was even possible. He also loved his stuffed ducky, he made sure to take it to bed with him every night.

“I no no. I just wake up,” Evie answered his earlier question.

Hopper woofed softly and nosed Evie making her laugh and hug his neck.

“I wonder where Duke is,” Spencer asked, scanning the room to see if he was on the bedroom floor somewhere.

“Pwobably in fwont of da fwidge waiting for bweakfast,” Evie giggled.

Duke was their sassy, gray, 2 pounds of complete fluff, Netherland Dwarf rabbit. Yes, he had a bunny too. Spencer had never thought about owning a bunny before, until he met Duke.

He, too, was a rescue, like Hopper. After being abandoned in a park by his previous owner, he was rescued by a shelter who took amazing care of him until Spencer came along and fell in love with him. Now, he was a happy six year old bunny who looked incredibly grumpy on the outside but was actually a sweetheart. His favorite things—other than napping and eating—were hanging out on the back of the couch to “watch” TV with him and Y/N and flop next to them—or Hopper, who happened to be his best friend ever. He loved head pets, bananas and licking Spencer’s slippers. He was a cutie that you just couldn’t help but love.

One of his routine things was speeding to the kitchen every morning if he heard even the slightest indication that someone was up. He would sit in front of the fridge until someone fed him his daily breakfast of mixed leafy greens.

He had pellets twice a day, endless hay to munch on and treats every now and then, yet he acted like they never fed him. It was quite humorous.

Also, if you didn’t get him his breakfast in a timely fashion he made sure to let you know of his displeasure and thump.

Spencer hadn’t known as much about bunnies when Duke first came home with them and about had heart failure the first time he heard Duke thump. Turns out, thumping was just a bunny quite literally thumping their back feet against the floor, something they did to show their displeasure or when they’re startled or frightened. Most of the time now though, it was just because he wasn’t being fed fast enough.

Despite his demands, he was an essential part of Spencer’s family, just like Hopper was.

He took a quick glance at his phone to see if he had any missed messages and saw a text from Y/N letting him know that she’d gone to the store. He felt more at ease knowing she was just out running errands. It was always a treat to wake up next to Y/N every morning and he missed it when he wasn’t able to.

“Come on sweetheart, let’s get you some breakfast,” Spencer said getting out of bed, lifting Evie up in his arms.

His little girl wasn’t so little anymore. She was heavier to carry now a days and didn’t want to be carried as much anyways, so he always took advantage of all the times she let him.

He headed out of the bedroom with her, Hopper right behind him on his heels.

“What would you like to eat, baby?”

“Pincakes,” she said, causing him to laugh.

She still couldn’t say pancakes all that well and it came out sounding more like “pincakes”.

“Let’s go check on your brother and sister, okay? Unless mommy took them shopping with her.”

Spencer set Evie down in front of the nursery and she pushed the door open, running in. He tried to hurry and stop her in case they were still asleep, but they were already awake.

“MOWNIN BABIES!” Evie squealed happily.

Standing in their cribs, already wide awake were their ten month old twins, Aden James—Y/N’s name pick—and Isla Jade, his pick. The girls seemed to favor him more while Aden looked more like Y/N. All three had his curly, light brown hair and hazel eyes though.

“Good morning my sweet little babies,” Spencer cooed to them.

It wasn’t his first time being left with all three kids, five if you counted their fur children.

Spencer had been a stay at home dad ever since the twins were six months old. He’d loved his job as a profiler in the FBI’s Behavioral Analysis Unit—still did actually—but after fifteen years in the field he had gotten burned out and burned out badly.

He didn’t technically resign, per se, but with the advisal from Emily Prentiss, his teammate, friend and boss, he decided to take a year long sabbatical. It was a decision that he didn’t take lightly either. He put a lot of thought into it and took his time making the decision. At the end of the day, he missed his family and wanted to spend more time with them.

Y/N was amazing and always understood his hectic, unreliable schedule and did a great job taking care of Evie, then the twins when they came along, while he was gone so much. But he knew it wasn’t fair to her or to their kids. He wanted to have the time to be with his family, be a good dad and be a good husband.

In the end, he knew work would always be there when he would be ready to return, a promise Emily had made him. For now though, he would often consult on cases his teammates were working on. At most, it only meant a few phone calls and some work time in his study, but never anything to take away from his relationship with his kids and Y/N. In fact, he was enjoying it much more than he ever thought he would.

It was nice, too. Y/N worked from home with a flexible job that allowed her to work whenever she could. As a mother of three, it was incredibly helpful. It also helped to have more family time, as well.

He’d become quite the super dad. Taking care of three kids three and under wasn’t easy by any means, but he’d had plenty of practice lately. He also had a newfound respect for Y/N, doing this all on her own. But for now, he knew he could handle the three of them while she was out grocery shopping.

“I bet you guys are hungry,” Spencer said, picking up Aden first as his crib was the closest to the door.

He picked up Isla in the other arm, trying to step around Hopper who was always people’s shadow. He rarely never followed a person somewhere and had to always know what was going on. With the kids and Hopper in tow, it looked like he had his own little tourist group.

Isla babbled, trying to reach down and touch Hopper’s head and he licked her hand happily. He and Duke both loved the kids as much as they loved them.

“Lead the way ladybug,” he told Evie, following her out of the nursery and down the stairs.

True to her prediction, Duke sat in front of the refrigerator door, as if waiting for the refrigerator god to open it up and sprinkle out some parsley and spinach leaves for him.

“Morning, Duke,” Spencer chuckled.

The tiny eared, grumpy faced bunny stared him from the place he sat, looking like he was judging him for sleeping in late. He most likely was.

“Just let me get the kiddos situated and I’ll feed you guys,” he told his furry friends.

Spencer sat Aden and Isla in their high chairs and sat Evie on her favorite stool at the counter. Hopper was the more patient of the two, so Spencer went to the fridge first. The second it opened, Duke started hopping around his feet in excitement, standing on hind legs to see if he could help himself to a breakfast buffet.

Combining a salad of spinach, romaine, parsley and cilantro, he sat the plate in front of an excited Duke and went about fetching Hopper’s food. It wasn’t even a full minute before he heard Duke chowing down on his breakfast, his munching quite audible.

Spencer filled Hopper’s bowl with his allotted amount of dog food and refilled his water bowl, giving him a pat on the back as he enjoyed his food.

Before starting the pancakes, he poured some puff cereal on each twins’ tray to let them eat while he cooked. To be twins, it was amazing to see how they differed—other than being fraternal twins.

Aden loved the strawberry flavored puffs, which Isla hated. She much preferred the sweet potato or the banana ones.

Aden was definitely more laid back and calm whereas his sister was loud and boisterous, something she definitely inherited from her older sister. On the other hand, Aden loved to be more independent and Isla loved just cuddling and staying close to him or Y/N.

“Daddy can I have chocowate chip pancakes?” Evie asked.

He had grabbed her a juice box from the fridge in the process of getting everyone, humans and animals alike, settled. She now sat, happily sipping on it.

“Is there anything better?” he grinned.

“Nope,” she shook her head emphatically.

He’d gotten the batter mixed up and was about to pour it on the sizzling griddle when he heard Evie calling him again.

“Mhm?” he answered, without looking.

“Isla twyin to put a puff in Aden’s ear.”

Spencer spun around just in time to see Aden pulling on Isla’s hair. Apparently he pulled hard enough to cause her to break into tears.

Things like this were just mild considering most days were even more hectic than this.

“Hey, hey. We don’t pull hair,” he scolded Aden, giving him a toy to play with.

He picked up a puff, putting it to Isla’s lips and she calmed down, eating it. They were still just grumpy from waking up and hungry, not actually upset.

“No putting puffs in your brother’s ear either, Isla,” he told her.

She grinned real big like she was proud of herself. He smiled. It was hard to be mad at any of these cute little faces.

Half an hour later after serving Isla and Aden their plain, torn into bite size pancakes, fixing Evie her chocolate chip pancake—with banana slices for a smile and chocolate chip eyes—and dealing with a ecstatic Duke who smelled the banana the instant Spencer unpeeled it, he had finally got to sit down with his own breakfast. He grabbed one more slice of banana, feeding it to Duke before stroking his head.

“That’s all you’re getting, little guy,” he chuckled.

He’d just taken a bite when the back door opened. Isla kicked her legs happily and Aden squealed as they spotted mommy first.

“Mommy!” Evie squealed, “Daddy made pancakes!”

Y/N walked in with her hands filled with grocery bags. Spencer shot up, immediately moving to help her.

“Hey baby,” he smiled, kissing her lips as he took most of the bags.

“Hey,” she smiled, setting down the bags she had left in her hands, “I thought I smelled pancakes before I walked in.”

“Chocowate chip too!” Evie piped in.

“Some of daddy’s best pancakes huh, Evie Bear?” Y/N smiled, kissing her cheek as she passed by her.

“Hey there, twinkies,” she said, calling the twins their popular nickname.

She smoothed a hand over each head of hair and kissed the top of both. Isla kept on happily eating and Aden handed her a bit of uneaten pancake which she took from him, eating.

“Thank you Aden,” she chuckled, “Good pancakes, Spence.”

“Want a plate?” he asked.

“Yes, but sit and eat. I’ll get them. You deserve a break for staying here with them,” she said, grabbing a plate out of the cabinet.

“I’m surprised you didn’t take the rugrats with you,” he commented, taking another bite of his breakfast.

“I would’ve, but it’s so much easier to grocery shop when there aren’t three extra sets of hands reaching out of the shopping cart to grab everything.”

“Touché.”

It wasn’t easy shopping alone with three kids. He attempted it once and it was a disaster. Now, either Y/N went alone or they tackled it both together with the kids, as a team.

She fixed her plate and sat next to Spencer at the island, pulling Aden’s and Isla’s high chairs closer to her. Spencer pulled her into his side and kissed her head, just enjoying having her near him along with their kids.

“So what’s on the agenda for today?” Spencer asked.

“Well I do need to get a little work done and clean some and take care of our little circus troop here,” she chuckled, motioning to the kids.

As if to prove her point, Aden started screaming when he dropped his sippy cup. Without even missing a beat between bites, she leaned down and picked it up, handing it back to him.

“How about I keep them entertained and watch them so you can get some work done,” he offered.

“Spence, you don’t have to do that. Aren’t you needed for a conference call with the team later?” she asked.

“Yes, but I can easily pop on Netflix for the kids and just step into the kitchen. Easy as pie.”

“Whatever you say, super dad,” she smiled, “But thank you. I owe you.”

“I’ll add it to your tab,” he winked.

He could think of a few things he’d like to ask for.

•

After breakfast, his little tribe moved from the kitchen to the living room.

He set Evie up with some toys, a coloring book and colored pencils while he changed the diapers.

“Ew stinky!” Evie complained, putting a hand over her nose.

Spencer laughed, amused at his toddler. Of course, being through this twice—now with double the diapers—he was pretty used to the smell. He was pretty sure dirty diapers were worse than things he’d smelled as an FBI Agent though.

“I know, Princess, but unlike you they’re not big enough to use the potty, so me and mommy have to change their diapers.”

“Cause dey too tiny dey would fall in.”

She said it was such a straight face that it was hard for Spencer not to laugh. The minds of children always amazed him, how they put things together, how they understood things, how they saw things. It provided endless amusement, especially with Evie.

“That and they aren’t a big girl and boy like you’re a big girl.”

She smiled big before going back to coloring. Hopper laid curled up next to her. Duke, finished with his breakfast, was zooming around the room, binkying.

Aden and Isla giggled and babbled watching the hyper bunny as they tried to reach for him as they impatiently laid and wriggled while getting their diaper changed.

Eventually after tiring himself out, he flopped near Aden, who reached out to touch him.

“Be gentle,” Spencer cautioned.

It was something they’d been raising Evie to do, both with Duke and Hopper. Evie was getting better about it, but still could be a little rough. They made sure that Aden and Isla would be raised the same.

Spencer took hold of his son’s hand, helping him gently stroke Duke’s head. In return, Duke gave Aden’s hand a little kiss, licking it.

Finally finished with diaper changes, he set them on the floor to play. They were crawling everywhere by this stage, staying active and wanting to be held less and less. It was bittersweet to Spencer because the period of infancy was so short lived. Although, secretly he hoped to have another kid or two, maybe a few more. Although that was a conversation with Y/N to save for another day.

In addition to crawling, they were in the pulling up stage. They’d figured out how to grab onto things and pull themselves up. They also liked to try and knock things off tables, like it was a game.

Which is what they were currently doing.

They stood side by side, holding onto the coffee table for balance and knocking off magazines.

“Guys, no no,” Spencer said, picking the magazines up and putting them out of their reach.

He knew better than to try and put them back on the coffee table. They’d knock them off repeatedly until they were bored of it, which wouldn’t be for quite a while.

They dropped to the floor, back to crawling around and getting into things they probably shouldn’t. Aden remained happy with one of his toys and chewed on it, while Isla babbled as she crawled.

“Da da da da.”

“That’s my name,” he chuckled, trying to tidy up the messy living room just a bit.

Living with three kids often meant toys scattered all over the place. He figured trying to straighten up would save Y/N from having to do too much of it later.

“Stop it! You wuining it!”

He looked over to see Isla pushing more of Evie’s crayons on the floor, giggling like she was proud of herself. Evie on the other hand, was furious and near tears.

“Iwa stop!” she shouted.

“Isla, come here baby.”

He picked up his youngest daughter, pouring out some blocks for her to play with and setting her in front of them. He turned back to Evie who was crying now.

“Daddy she WUIN it.”

“I know, I’m sorry sweetie, come here.”

He held out his arms and she fell into them, crying out of frustration and anger.

“Iwa meanie.”

“Baby girl,” he soothed, picking her up and setting her on his lap so she could face him, “She didn’t do it on purpose.”

Evie sniffled, but didn’t say anything.

“She and Aden are only babies, Evie bug. They still don’t completely realize that they’re doing something wrong or upsetting you, they think it’s a game. In her tiny mind she probably thought she was playing with you. Besides, I can help you pick up your crayons and put them back the way you want them. Alright?”

She nodded a bit.

“Are you still mad at Isla?”

“No,” she shook her head.

“Good, I’m glad,” Spencer kissed her head, “You’re a wonderful big sister.”

“I am?”

Evie looked up into Spencer’s face, her tears now drying on her cheeks and excitement in her eyes.

“The best,” he emphasized, “How about since you’ve been such a great big sister lately, we bake some cupcakes when they take a nap later? And maybe we can play tea party if you’d like.”

Evie was now grinning big and nodded, clearly thrilled about the idea.

“There’s that pretty smile,” Spencer grinned, chucking her under the chin, “Will you go give your sissy a hug then?”

“Otay.”

She wiggled down out of Spencer’s lap and went over to Isla, who was tossing blocks around in an attempt to play with them.

Evie put her arms around Isla’s tiny body and hugged her, kissing her cheek.

“Love you, Iwa.”

Spencer smiled, his heart warming at the scene.

“That’s my sweet girls.”

•

It was amazing. Spencer had turned his back for a second and he’d already lost track of one of his kids.

“Did you see where Aden went, Evie?” Spencer asked, after rushing back from the kitchen with no luck.

“Nope.”

She hadn’t even looked away from the tv, so he was certain she hadn’t seen where he’d gone.

He couldn’t have gotten far, but it was truly incredible how fast these tots were when they were on the move.

“Aden? Where are you buddy?”

“Looking for this little duckling?”

Spencer whirled around, seeing Y/N walking in, Aden in her arms, chewing on the toy in his hands.

“Oh thank god,” he sighed, relieved, “Where was he?”

“He came crawling into your study,” she chuckled.

“I’m so sorry, babe. I swear I turned my back for a minute and he was gone.”

“Believe me I know; sneaky little things aren’t they? Don’t worry, I needed the baby break anyway.”

She tickled his cheek slightly making him grin.

“Have you gotten much work done?” Spencer asked, sitting down on the couch, pulling Y/N down with him.

“Yeah. I can finish up later anyway.”

“Daddy, can we bake now?” Evie asked with hopeful eyes.

“Baking?” Y/N raised a brow.

“I told her when the twins went down for a nap, me and her could make something special. Maybe we can even make it a surprise for you,” Spencer grinned secretively, “How about it Eves?”

“Yes!”

She was up and racing to the kitchen in a flash. Spencer had stood, ready to follow her.

“Don’t worry, I can take these two in the study with me until their nap time,” she chuckled, “Just don’t make a mess!” she called after him.

“Never.”

•

Okay, so, the kitchen was a bit of a mess.

“Daddy, I cwacked da egg!”

“You sure did. High five!”

Spencer held up his hand and her small one high fived him as she grinned big.

Evie had picked out a funfetti cake mix for her choice of cupcakes and was currently helping crack the eggs into the mix.

There was some dry cake mix spilled on the counter. Empty egg shells were scattered on it as well in the midst of the chaos of the cupcake ingredients, baking cups, electric mixer and pan.

“Okay, this is the last egg. Think you can crack it?”

“Yesh,” she nodded, taking the egg carefully, a serious look on her face.

She tapped it gently against the bowl and cracked it open like a pro. Spencer couldn’t be more proud.

It was moments like this that made him less sad about her no longer being a baby. At this age he and Y/N could do more things with her that they couldn’t when she was a baby, like this. It was always fun to include her in little tasks nowadays. It made him excited to be able to incorporate Aden and Isla when they got older.

“Now I’ll mix it up with the electric mixer. Stand back, okay?”

She nodded again, stepping a bit further away on her little stool, hands holding onto the edge of the counter as he mixed the cake batter together.

“You think that looks good enough?” he asked, letting her see into the bowl.

“Mhm.”

“Alright. Daddy’s going to pour them into the pan and then bake them.”

“Then we eat dem?”

“No, they have to cool and then we get to frost them.”

Her face fell, disappointed.

“But how about while they bake and cool we have a tea party? You can go set it up while I get these in the oven and I’ll be right there.”

“Alwight!”

She hopped off her stool and dashed out of the kitchen faster than the cartoon roadrunner, making him laugh. What a character she was.

Keeping to his word, he got the cupcakes in the oven and headed up to Evie’s room.

“Otay daddy, you wear dis.”

Evie handed him a silver toy tiara and a pink feather boa.

“You be my guest.”

“Sounds good,” he grinned, putting the items on and waiting for further instructions.

“Otay you can’t sit ‘til I say so.”

“Yes ma’am.”

She put out some of her toy, plastic food on the tea party plates and pretended to fix some tea.

“Tea sewved,” she grinned.

It was impossible for him to sit in the tiny chairs, so he sat on the floor next to the table. He picked up the tea cup, pinky out and all.

“May I drink?” he asked, politely.

“Yesh, you may,” she grinned, reaching her cup over to clink it with his.

He took a pretend sip and gave her a grin.

“Excellent tea, my dear.”

They continued playing for a while longer until she started getting sleepy. Spencer knew it was past her nap time.

He was laying her down in her bed when Y/N found him an hour later. Poor thing had been quite literally falling asleep in the middle of the tea party.

“Now that’s a nice look,” she giggled.

He looked at her, confused for a moment before he realized he still had the boa and tiara on. He grinned, pulling them off and laying them down in her room before pulling her door closed as he walked out.

“I took your cupcakes out of the oven half an hour ago,” she said.

“Dammit I forgot about them! Well that just ruined the surprise.”

“I’ll act surprised then when you present them to me,” she grinned, “I thought we could frost them while the kiddos are napping.”

“Twinkies are already down for their nap?” he asked.

“Yup. They wore themselves out crawling after Duke.”

“That poor bunny,” he chuckled.

“Hey it keeps him fit. I think Hopper was thrilled it wasn’t him for once.”

Once they were in the kitchen, Spencer wrapped his arms around her, pulling her towards him.

“Who knew the house could be so quiet?” he smirked, kissing her nose.

“It is a breath of fresh air,” she smiled.

“How about instead of frosting the cupcakes we frost something else?” he grinned, “I mean I already have my own knife.”

She burst out laughing, causing him to laugh as well.

“What?” he asked, grinning.

“Spence, you’re supposed to be a genius. I’m sure you can come up with a better euphemism for sex than that.”

“I was just rolling with it,” he grinned, pulling her close to kiss her temple, “How about it though?”

She sighed, sounding defeated.

“You know I’d love to, but I need to groom Duke after we finish these cupcakes. It’s shedding season, you know.”

She frowned, seemingly upset to let him down.

“It’s okay baby,” he smiled, hugging her, “Come on. We’ve got cupcakes to decorate.”

•

They were halfway through with the cupcakes when Spencer’s phone rang.

“Hey, Luke. What’s up?”

“Hey Reid, you busy?”

“Not really, just frosting Y/N’s cupcakes.”

There was a pause.

“Is that some sort of euphemism for sex? Cause I can call back later.”

Spencer couldn’t help it, he barked out a laugh.

“No, I mean we’re just decorating some cupcakes.”

Y/N gave him a quizzical look and he gave her a lopsided grin, mentally reminding himself to share that with her later. She’d think it’s hilarious.

“Oh good cause we need your genius insight, Reid,” Luke said.

“Sure, one sec.”

He lowered the phone to his shoulder.

“The team needs me to consult on a current case, I’m sorry, do you mind?”

“Go,” she shooed him, “I’ve got this. Don’t worry.”

“You’re the best, Y/N,” he murmured, pecking her lips.

“Don’t I know it?” she smirked, turning back to the sugary explosion on the counter as he walked towards his study.

“Okay, what’s up?” Spencer asked, as he settled into the desk chair.

“Alright. So we have three murders in Seattle…”

•

By the time Spencer had finished bouncing around ideas with the team, it was after 1 pm.

Walking into the kitchen, he saw all three kids had woken from their naps and was just finishing up their lunches of grilled cheese—bite sized grilled cheese pieces for Aden and Isla though.

Spencer stole one of Evie’s chips as he passed her.

“Hey! Dat nawt vewy nice!” she frowned.

His lips turned up in a smile as he apologized and kissed her head.

“How’d it go? Were you able to help any?” Y/N asked.

She held up a bite of grilled cheese to Aden’s mouth to get him to eat. He seemed to have more interest in playing with his food than actually eating it though.

“Help wiff what?” Evie asked, ever as curious as a typical toddler was.

“Daddy got a call from your aunties and uncles at the BAU. They needed his help with a case,” Y/N explained.

“And you didn’t let me talk to dem?” she pouted, “I miss auntie JJ and auntie Penewope. Auntie Emawee, Uncle Dave and evwyone else I can’t tink of.”

She had actually sat there and counted off all of the names on each finger, amusing Spencer to no end. He knew he was a bit biased, but she was the cutest.

“You were still napping, baby, I’m sorry,” he said, “Next time I’ll make sure you get to talk to them.”

That seemed to appease her and she went back to eating her lunch.

Oh the joys of being a child with no concerns in the world.

After lunch, Spencer took the kids outside and they were soon joined by Y/N, Hopper and Duke. It was such a beautiful day that they had to take advantage of it.

Duke was set up in a good sized space to run and explore, but with a collapsible fence around him, just to keep him safe and from running away. Y/N was still hesitant to take it away just yet, even though so far he did great at staying near them when outside. He loved it, nibbling on the grass and flopping in it. He clearly was living his best life.

Hopper just about sprinted out the door when Y/N let him out. He, too, loved the backyard. He had about worn paths in the grass because he loved his specific running routine. He barked happily as he sped around.

Evie immediately ran to their playground and started climbing the “rock wall” portion of it. Not surprising to Spencer though; from the moment she could stand she had climbed into and over stuff as a baby, practically always giving him and Y/N heart failure.

“You two want to go down the slide?” he asked, carrying the twins toward the play set.

Aden started fussing, reaching for Y/N.

“Ma ma! Ma ma!”

“I will take that as a no,” Spencer said, handing him over to Y/N.

“He’s been fussy since they woke up. I think he’s cutting another tooth,” she frowned.

“Aww, my poor little man. No wonder he doesn’t want to play.”

Spencer rubbed his back as Aden laid his head on Y/N’s shoulder.

“Growing teeth isn’t fun, is it buddy?”

Y/N smiled, cuddling him close.

“Go on and play with the girls, me and Aden will chill on the patio and cuddle.”

“So do you want to slide, Isla?”

She responded in baby talk, babbling away.

“Is that so? Tell me more.”

She continued to babble as he set her at the top of the slide, one hand on her stomach and the other on her back to keep her safe.

“I’d like to see you get on the slide, Spence!” Y/N called from the patio, laughing.

He shook his head.

“Never again!” he hollered back.

He once tried getting on the slide of this same play set with Evie in his lap, when she was younger. It was a disaster to the point that Y/N about had to call the fire department to get him unstuck...after she spent ten minutes laughing.

He’d learned his lesson from that.

Isla squealed as he slowly slid her down the slide. He picked her up, holding her in the air above him.

“You did it, baby!”

She squealed with laughter, grinning big. When he brought her back down, she held onto him trying to give him a kiss with her mouth wide open.

“Thank you; you’re extremely sweet, Isla,” Spencer cooed.

“Daddy, watch me!”

Spencer looked over and watched as Evie slide down the slide on her belly.

“Careful, Princess.”

“I am! Did you see me?”

“I did,” he said, “I’m impressed.”

She ran over to the swings next. The amount of energy this child had was outstanding. He couldn’t remember a time when he’d had this much energy.

“Push me pwease?”

“Okay, honey.”

He put Isla in the baby swing, which she happened to love and buckled her in, starting to swing her a bit as he pushed Evie.

The peals of laughter that met his ears filled his heart with joy. He watched the wind blowing his little girls’ curls as they both swung, happy as could be.

His eyes panned out over the yard; Hopper still running around, Duke munching on some grass and his wife rocking his little boy on a rocking chair on the patio.

It was moments like this that he treasured the most.

•

They spent nearly all afternoon outside, although the twins and fur children had meandered inside after an hour or so both hot and worn out.

Spencer stayed outside though spending time with Evie. He always tried his hardest to make sure she knew how much he and Y/N loved her.

After the twins were born, life became more hectic and she entered a new permanent part of life where she’d have to share her parents. He made extra efforts in spending some time alone with her, Y/N did too, just so she wouldn’t feel left out or any less important than her younger siblings.

He spent time jumping on the trampoline with her, watching her do tricks. He then pushed her on the swing until his arms hurt, but it was totally worth it to see the glee on her face.

They laid in the grass, listening to birds chirp and looked at clouds. She claimed to see one cloud in the shape of the doughnut and he pointed out one he thought looked like a penguin.

They were both hot and sweaty after staying outdoors for so long, so he turned on the sprinklers and let her run through them. Of course, Hopper ended up joining them, sprinting like he had springs attached to his paws as he jumped through the spraying water.

Spencer couldn’t resist joining in, chasing after Evie. The water felt cool and refreshing on flushed, hot and sweaty skin.

“I’m gonna catch you!” he teasingly called.

She squealed, trying to run faster through the water.

“No you nawt daddy!”

He reached down and picked her up, swinging her around. He wished he could keep his babies this small forever.

By the time they were tired of playing in the sprinklers, their clothes were soaked through.

“Mommy’s gonna kill me for letting you get so soaked,” he chuckled.

“No she nawt. She love you. When a mommy love a daddy dey hug. She just hug you.”

He couldn’t argue with her logic.

“Come on munchkin, I bet mommy is wondering what happened to us.”

He walked behind her as she sprinted into the house. He was surprised to see it was nearly 5 o’clock.

“You two must’ve had fun,” Y/N chuckled, eyeing their clothes.

“That we did. Where’s thing 1 and thing 2?”

She pointed to the pack and play in the corner of the kitchen where the two were happily playing with one another.

“Thought I’d stick them in there so I could keep an eye on them while I started their dinner,” she said.

“Let me go change Evie and get some dry clothes for myself and I can help,” he offered.

“I’ve got it covered. I’m making chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese for them since it will soon be bath and b-e-d time.”

He nodded understandingly. They’d been having trouble getting Evie to bed lately. She always wanted to play when it was time for bed, so they’d gotten a routine down. Dinner, bath, story time and cuddle and then time for lights out. So far, it had been working.

“Do me a favor and turn on the tv please? I promised Evie she could watch cartoons before dinner.”

“Sure thing,” Spencer agreed.

He gave her a side hug on his way past her and maybe a slap on the ass too.

“Spencer!” she shrieked, exasperated.

He just laughed, sending her a wink over his shoulder.

He settled in with Evie on the couch and the twins playing on the floor. He held Aden up, helping him practice walking as Evie watched cartoons.

“There ya go buddy! You guys will get this in no time.”

Spencer sat him back on his bottom and Aden turned around, fussing, trying to climb in his lap. Even in his lap, he started crying.

“Brudder too loud,” Evie frowned.

“I know, honey, I’m sorry. He doesn’t feel good.”

Spencer rubbed his back, rocking him a bit, desperately trying to calm his son. He clung to Spencer’s shirt, crying at the top of his lungs, moving his face back and forth from the inability to get comfortable.

Spencer frowned, standing, bouncing him a bit. Y/N came into the living room a moment later, a small tube in her hand.

“He won’t stop crying, no matter what I’ve tried,” Spencer frowned, hurting for his own miserable child.

“I got some teething gel. Let me see your finger.”

He held his finger out and she squeezed some of the clear gel on his finger. Opening Aden’s mouth just enough, he rubbed it gently on the sensitive gums.

He went to pull his finger back but Aden kept a hold of it, gnawing on it.

“Good luck getting that finger back,” Y/N smirked, “I’ve had that happen way too many times.”

So that’s how he sat until Y/N had finished the kids’ dinner; next to Evie, Aden in his lap and his finger in Aden’s mouth. Luckily, Isla seemed occupied enough and didn’t feel the need to be clingy. It was like they’d switched personalities for the day.

“Evie, go wash your hands for dinner please,” Spencer told her.

She obeyed, heading off to her bathroom. In the last year, she’d really gotten to enjoy washing her hands. She thought of it as making her a big girl, which it did. She had a stool in front of her bathroom counter that she’d stand on, get some soap out of the fish decorated soap dispenser and wash her hands, proud to be able to do this big girl task now.

She came into the kitchen just as he was helping Y/N get the little ones into their high chairs.

“My hands all cwean!” she announced, holding them out as to prove her point.

“Good job, pumpkin,” Y/N said, giving her a kiss as she lifted her to set her on the island stool.

“What for dinna?” she asked, trying to peek at the fixed plates on the counter.

“Your favorite, chicken nuggets and mac and cheese,” Y/N smiled, setting her kid plate in front of her and a fork.

Evie’s eyes lit up and she immediately dug in.

“I snuck some broccoli in it for the twins,” she told Spencer, not worried if Evie heard.

They must have been blessed with an easy first child because Evie was always good with eating her vegetables and she loved when mommy fixed her veggie mac, as she called it. Y/N had tried multiple different vegetables in it from spinach to broccoli and even kale once, with positive results. Spencer was definitely impressed.

But where it was easy with Evie, it had been a bit more challenging with Aden and Isla. Aden was more open to trying new things, but didn’t seem to like as many veggies as Evie had at that age. Isla, on the other hand, flat out refused.

So Y/N had resorted to sneaking some veggies in with their food. Sometimes it was in their macaroni and cheese other times it was mixed in with sauces, easy things they could eat. It had been a struggle, but they seemed to finally start liking the flavor.

The sight of food caused a ruckus with the two as they babbled and shrieked, ready to eat. Y/N sat the small bowls in front of them, along with the cut up chicken nuggets spread on their tray. Hands immediately dug in the nuggets and they tried to feed themselves with their spoons.

The twins eating was always an interesting time. One baby eating was messy enough; times that by two and it was even worse. Thankfully, bath time was after dinner.

Spencer had had his back turned as he fed Duke and Hopper their dinners and when he turned around he swore his two youngest were already covered in mac and cheese.

“Two seconds into dinner and they’re already covered in cheese sauce,” he shook his head, amazed.

“It’s your turn to do baths tonight too, big boy,” she chuckled, patting his chest as she walked by to put something in the dishwasher.

On her way back, he pulled her back to him, hugging her from behind. She didn’t complain though. He loved all the stolen hugs and kisses they shared even during the most chaotic of days.

He tipped her face up to his and kissed her gently, wishing he could convey just how much love and appreciation he felt for her in the simple, soft kiss.

“Ew daddyyy,” Evie whined, covering her eyes, “I twyna eat!”

He pulled away from Y/N and they both laughed, both amused by their toddler’s outburst.

“Listen to her, she sounds like a teenager already,” Spencer said.

“Just wait ten more years when she actually is,” Y/N commented.

“Evie Bear, are you gonna be my little girl forever?” he asked.

She shot him a grin big enough to compete with his own toothy smile.

“Always.”

•

Bath time almost always followed dinner in the Reid household.

Before the twins, it was easy just to bathe Evie and get her ready for bed. Now, it was three times the baths and three times the pajamas.

They tackled it as a team, though. They’d switch off between bath duty and pajama duty. Tonight, Spencer would bathe the kids while Y/N got pajamas ready, fixed the twins’ bedtime bottles and most likely tried to clean the kitchen in between.

He’d left Evie in his and Y/N’s bed to play on her kid iPad—way better than those actual iPads if you asked him—to keep her entertained while he gave Aden and Isla a bath. Their bedtime was obviously a little earlier than Evie’s so they were the logical first bath of the night.

All three of his children were fish. They loved water, so bath time was always a hit.

They both sat in the water, splashing and talking to one another in their own little baby language. They played with their toys: little bath alphabet and numbers, colorful boats, a rubber ducky, even little toy cups.

Spencer washed their hair as they played happily.

Aden baby talked, handing him a cup.

“Is this for me? Did you make me a drink?”

He pretended to drink it, handing the cup back to him.

“That was very good, little man.”

Aden smiled, reaching for another toy, putting it in his mouth to chew on. Spencer took the moment of stillness to carefully rinse the baby shampoo out of his hair. His baby soft curls hung in wet, wavy tendrils, similar to Spencer’s own hair when it was wet.

He repeated the same process with Isla as she was content to play with the boats, pushing them around in the soapy water.

“You two are like little ducks aren’t you? You could stay in here until you’re wrinkled and pruny and still wouldn’t get out,” he said.

They look up at him, serious looks on their faces.

“You wanna know a secret? You may be little ducks but you’re my baby ducks,” he smiled, leaning over to give each one of them kisses.

They were too busy playing to really care, but Spencer didn’t mind. One day, they wouldn’t want kisses all the time like they did now and he would cherish every second he could, of this part of his life.

The typical babbling ensued, including the normal da da’s.

“Da da da da,” one would start, encouraging the other to join in like it was a battle who could say it more.

“Daddy loves his babies,” Spencer smiled.

He finished rinsing the soap off their bodies, giving their faces one last wipe over with the washcloth—much to their dismay—and lifted them from the tub, laying them on the towel by his side.

He wrapped them tight in the towel, keeping them warm and carried them to Y/N to get ready for bed.

Bath time with a toddler was definitely a different experience than bath time with infants.

Evie was a little chatterbox. Something she got from him, undoubtedly. He always enjoyed when he had bath duty, it was special time with his little ducklings.

Evie had a few bath toys that were especially for her since they were a bit too old for the twins at this point. She loved her bath crayons and creating masterpieces on the bathtub walls. She also had a little toy that made bubbles. It was endearing to see her face light up when Spencer made the bubbles appear.

“Daddy, look at dis,” she pointed to her latest drawing.

“I see. What did you draw?”

“Dat Hopper,” she pointed to one blob of red.

“And dat Duke.”

Duke was a blue blob.

“I love it,” he chuckled, “I think they would too.”

“Can we pwactice da afabet?” she asked.

Evie’s bath time recently had become a sort of learning time to practice her letters and numbers. It had started with Spencer writing a letter or two on the side of the tub with her bath crayon and letting her name it. It had become so fun for her she ended up asking to do it more often now.

“Sure, sweetie.”

He took a green crayon and wrote the letter “A” on the wall in front of her.

“Do you know what this letter is?”

“A!”

Next to it, he wrote a “B”.

“B,” Evie said, confidently.

Another letter was written next to it.

“C.”

They did this throughout the whole alphabet, until the wall was covered with letters. She’d only stumbled on a few, but she was getting better all the time. The swell of pride he felt in his chest was never ending as he constantly discovered just how smart his babies were growing up to be.

“Let’s try something a bit different, okay?”

“Otay.”

He took a different color—red this time—and wrote her name. Using the crayon as a pointer, he pointed to the “E”.

“Do you know which letter this is?”

“Dats E!”

“That’s right. What about this one?” he asked, moving the crayon to the next letter.

“Um,” she paused, taking a little longer on this one, “V.”

“Correct,” he smiled, “And this next one?”

“I.”

“And then we have this final one. I’m sure you know this by now,” he grinned.

“Dat E again!”

“Yes, that’s right! Do you know what that spells?”

“No,” she shook her head.

He didn’t expect her to, but it was all part of his little lesson.

“That is your name. E-v-i-e. Evie,” he smiled, “You just spelled your name.”

She smiled brightly, then looked like she was thinking about something.

“Daddy? Why I named Evie?”

“Well,” he said, returning to rinsing her long hair, “Your mommy wanted to name you Evangeline at first.”

Evie scrunched her nose up at that, making him snicker. She really did look just like him when she did that.

“I know, I didn’t like that name much either,” Spencer said, “But she really wanted to name her first daughter that because it was her grandmother’s name and she was really close to her before she passed away. I thought that was a sweet gesture to honor her in that way, so I tried to compromise with her.”

“What’s compwomise?” she asked.

“It’s where two people both get what they want by deciding on something that they both like. For example like your name. Mommy liked Evangeline and I didn’t. A common nickname for it is Evie and we both liked that name so we settled on that. We both chose a name we loved for you and mommy got to honor her grandma that way.”

“Oh,” she nodded, seemingly deep in thought, processing what he had just said, “I like Evie betta anyway.”

“So do I, my little Evie bear. Now come on, let’s get you out of this bath before mommy thinks you were washed down the drain.”

•

It was probably half an hour after their bedtime and all three kids were still awake, in their jammies on mommy and daddy’s bed.

Spencer figured he’d let them stay up a little later so Y/N could finish her housework. Bedtime was also another team effort, at least when it came to Aden and Isla. It was hard to hold two babies with bottles—even though they could now hold their own bottles— and a book at the same time, even for the most experienced parents. So one of them would hold one twin, the other would have the other and read them both a bedtime story. It was a system that had been working well for them, so they stuck to it.

Also, he kinda hoped the later bedtime would slip by Y/N’s attention unnoticed. No such luck, though.

Needless to say though, she was a bit exasperated to find them still up almost thirty minutes later than normal.

“Spencer Reid, I swear to God if my children don’t go to sleep, I won’t have sex with you until they move out of the house.”

Thankfully, Evie seemed too preoccupied with her iPad to notice Y/N’s statement. All they needed was her repeating that.

“Sorry, babe. I thought I’d let you catch up on your housework before we tucked them in.”

“You should’ve come get me, I didn’t even know it had gotten so late,” she said apologetically, “Besides they need their sleep so their brains can grow to be as big as yours.”

“Actually, the brain doesn’t grow. It stays the same size from the moment you’re born. As you learn, your brain makes new neuron connections.”

She chuckled, walking over to pick up Isla off the bed.

“You know what I meant, brainiac,” she teased, “I got their bottles in the nursery so if you can grab Aden and a book, we can get them to bed.”

He nodded, picking up Aden.

“You stay there and play on your iPad, okay baby girl?” Y/N said, “We’ll be back to tuck you in after we get the babies down.”

“Otay mommy.”

Spencer got situated in one of the two rocking chairs in the nursery, Y/N settling in beside him. Bottles were in the twins’ mouths and the twins were each nestled in a set of arms as Spencer opened the book of the night, Bedtime For Baby Star.

He was familiar with this story. His best friend JJ had given them a copy when he and Y/N first got pregnant with Evie. It was a story she’d read many times to her sons Michael and Henry. He and Y/N had read it many times to Evie—and still did—and now they read it to their twins. It was as if this adorable little story had been passed down through many bedtimes of many different kids.

“Once there was a baby star,” Spencer began, gently rocking in the chair.

“He lived up near the sun. And every night at bedtime, that baby star wanted to have some fun. He would shine and shine and fall and shoot and twinkle, oh, so bright.”

Isla cooed as she ate, eyes locked on Spencer and his voice. Aden looked around, but would turn his sight back to Spencer every little bit to make sure he was still there.

“And he said “Mommy, I’ll run away if you make me say good night.”,” Spencer read.

Isla’s feet shuffled back and forth against Y/N’s lap as she ate. Usually, they didn’t fall asleep during a nighttime story, but Spencer loved the routine of it and being able to have some bonding time, so it soon became a nightly thing for him and Y/N.

Aden pulled back from his bottle, taking a break from eating and looking around the room. Spencer glanced down to check on him before continuing reading, seeing Aden put the bottle back in his mouth on his own.

“And then his mommy kissed him on his sparkly nose and said, “No matter where you go, no matter where you are, no matter how big you grow, and even if you stray far, I’ll love you forever, ‘cause you’ll always be my baby star.” The end.”

Spencer closed the book quietly, setting it aside and dimming the lights. This, too, they had found worked best when getting the babies to sleep. They usually sat and rocked them in the dimmed nursery as they finished their bottles and fell asleep.

Looking down at Aden, he could tell that the little guy wasn’t far off from sleep.

As they both sat and rocked the babes quietly, he reached over with his spare hand to the rocking chair Y/N was in. He took her hand and held it in his the entire time until their two youngest were sound asleep.

•

“Why don’t you go order us some dinner and I’ll get Evie to sleep,” Spencer suggested after they’d tiptoed out of the nursery.

“It’s been a long day and I know you probably don’t feel like cooking a separate dinner.”

“Okay, I’ll go order us a pizza. The usual?” she asked.

“Pepperoni, yes please,” he grinned, kissing her cheek.

“Tell her night and an “I love you” from me,” she called as she headed down the stairs.

Evie was exactly where they’d left her earlier. She was still sitting against their pillows, playing her game.

“Come on rugrat,” he grinned, picking her up off the bed, “Let’s go choose a story to read.”

He carried her down the hall towards her room, setting her down once they were inside. He took her toy iPad and set it aside with her other toys as she kneeled in front of her book corner, deciding on a book.

“Find anything yet, Eves?”

“Yesh,” she pulled one out, walking back to her bed and climbing onto it then holding out the book for him to see.

“Five Little Bunnies?” he asked, taking it when she nodded.

“No,” she took it back, “I read to you daddy.”

He smiled, pulling her into his lap.

“You gonna read to me tonight then?”

“Yesh,” she nodded, her drying, loose curls shaking with her movement.

She opened the book to the first page.

“Once upon time dere five widdle bunnies.”

She turned the page and continued.

“Da fiwst widdle bunny liked to hop and play outside.”

Spencer’s brows raised, surprised that she wasn’t actually making something up, but quoting the book. He knew she wasn’t actually reading, but it still pleased him enough to know that she’d memorized the book to be able to read it to him. He held her close, resting his chin on her head as she continued “reading” to him.

“Da fifth widdle bunny didn’t want to be weft out of all da fun and hopped off to join all his fwends. De end.”

She closed the book, craning her neck to see Spencer.

“You nawt asleep are you daddy?”

“No baby,” he chuckled, picking her up and setting her against her pillows.

“Did you remember the entire story so you could read it to me?” he asked.

She slid under the covers and he pulled them up over her as she nodded excitedly.

“Did you wike it?”

The hopeful excitement in her eyes just about melted his heart. He had loved kids for as long as he could remember, but there was nothing sweeter than your own children.

“I loved it.”

He handed her the stuffed animal koala—named Pookie—that she always slept with and she cuddled him in her arms. Spencer smoothed her hair back from her face and kissed her forehead, making sure the covers were high enough so she wouldn’t get too chilly.

“Next time though, it’s my turn to read to you,” he laughed.

“Otay,” she smiled.

“Mommy says goodnight and she loves you,” Spencer said, turning on her nightlight for her, “Goodnight Evie, I love you.”

“I love you too, daddy.”

As Spencer turned off the lights, the last thing he saw was Evie turn on her side and close her eyes, heading quickly into a peaceful slumber.

•

“I’ve never been so happy to see food. Or the couch,” Spencer said, flopping onto the couch, a slice of pepperoni pizza in his hand.

Hopper was curled up on the couch, his head partially laying on Spencer’s leg, fast asleep. Duke loafed next to Y/N’s legs, relaxing, himself. They acted so tired, they made it seem like they had been the ones doing the parenting all day.

“Duke I hardly recognize you after your grooming,” Spencer chuckled, reaching over her lap to run his free hand over the soft fur.

“I swear he lost half a pound in fur alone,” Y/N commented.

It was just past 8 pm and the two of them finally were able to sit down to rest and eat their dinner.

“I tried one of your cupcakes,” Y/N said after finishing her final piece of pizza, “They’re great.”

“Oh really? When did you do that?”

“Around lunch. It technically was my lunch.”

“Our rugrats sure keep us on the move, don’t they?” Spencer grinned.

“And to think you want more,” Y/N half groaned.

“I do,” he said seriously, “But not right now. One day. When they’re a little older.”

“Good because right now I’m too tired to even think about sex.”

“You and me both,” Spencer sighed, wrapping his arm around her.

“How do parents manage to do this and have a sex life?” she mumbled causing him to snort.

“I don’t know, but I’m sure they take it one day at a time. Besides, I have plenty of time to show you just how much I love and appreciate you in that way, when we aren’t so tired.”

There was obviously more to their marriage than just the sexual part of it. Just making time for each other like this, even when it was at the end of the day, was more than enough. They were a team. They’d do marriage, parenthood and life together. It was all he needed right now.

Some day, they would find a balance. But right now, life was still hectic and intimacy wasn’t always guaranteed. One great thing though was that intimacy came in all forms.

This time right now, was an example. It was a private, cozy and relaxing atmosphere for just the two of them to spend some time together.

“I’ll be there,” she smiled, laying her head against his chest.

“So will I.”

Spencer was tired, but he was also extremely happy,

They turned on the tv for a little while, not paying much attention to the show that was on since they both could hardly keep their eyes open. They dozed like that for a little while, arms wrapped around one another.

They knew one twin or the other would likely wake up at least a time or two during the night, but right now even catching a few winks was better than none.

They’d make it to bed eventually, where they’d fall into a deep sleep next to one another, preparing for a new day when they’d do this all over again.

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theonetheycallhannah · 4 years ago

Text

The Treatment of Captain Syverson-Chapter 12: Final Home Exercise Program

Characters: Captain Syverson x OFC (Shane Dawson)

Summary: Our lovers spend one last night together and the next morning have a serious discussion about their future after more new information comes to light about Sy’s upcoming training. Can the new relationship sustain the stress? Are Shane’s feelings justified, or can they overcome what lies before them?

Spoilers suck! Start from the top or wherever you left off HERE!

Word Count: 4.2k

Warnings: Language, mature themes, smut, angst…well, near angst. As angsty as I get.

Author’s Note: Sorry this has taken so long, my darling dears! I’m currently on vacation and although I was hoping to be inspired by new surroundings, it’s given me WICKED writer’s block! I have a pretty solid plan for more chapters, though, so, buckle up!

Disclaimer: Unfortunately for me, Henry is not mine, le sigh, and all mention of him, his characters, any characters from his films, or his precious doggy, Kal, are strictly for transformative and recreational use. I neither ask for, nor accept payment for the work I post on Tumblr or AO3. Unbeta’d because this is for fun and escapism.

Tags:

@onlyhenrys

@cavillryarchive

@summersong69

@titty-teetee

@bloodyinspiredfuck

@agniavateira

@oddsnendsfanfics

@omgkatinka

@thisismysecretthirstblog

@misslaland (apparently deactivated, idk what’s up with that)

@speakerforthedead0

@tumblnewby

@suavechops

@radkesgirl83

@wheretheriversrunintothesea

@heartfelt-pen

@auds24

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Sy's last two PT appointments could not have gone better. On paper, anyway. He was at full strength in his injured knee, his range of motion was better than it was in the so-called good knee, and he hadn't complained of pain above a 2/10 in the last five sessions. He'd even been using the treadmill properly the last two weeks, working up to his own goal of running again. Her goals for him were met…they could have probably stopped a session short, but she'd wanted to give him a few more handouts to finalize his HEP…and well, she'd be in major trouble for saying so, but…she couldn't stand the thought of cancelling that last visit. It felt like quitting, even though it would have been justified.

In practice, however, there was a tension between them that had never existed before. Something creating awkward energy that they couldn't seem to shake. They hadn't seen each other much outside of therapy this week, either. Not since the night of their argument. Sy had to do a lot of prep for his trip to Virginia, and Shane's caseload this week had been ridiculous. Dozens of evaluations and updates and calls to various companies on different kinds of splints and orthotics she was hoping to get for a few of her patients. A lot of time spent on the phone meant a lot of after-hours documentation. She needed a break. Even if it meant she'd have to do some work over the weekend. Sy was leaving tomorrow to get settled in Charlottesville before the big training course began. She didn't want them to be apart on his last night home for a month.

"Hey, as a celebration of your discharge from PT and your new career trajectory, how about dinner on me tonight?"

"But…you don't really want me to leave town…or to be done with therapy. Not that I, myself, won't miss you feeling me up in public." he smirked as she took his last set of range of motion measurements, her hands gently holding one arm of her goniometer to the side of his thigh…suddenly too aware of him.

"Not entirely true. I'm glad you're better, I'll just miss seeing you through the day. It breaks up the…" she sighed "the monotony of my daily life. Also, why would I want you to leave town? What would that say about me as your girlfriend?" she explained.

"S'pose you're right."

"In this case, yes. Yes I am." She winked at him.

They finished up and she gave him a few more exercises to keep in his arsenal to maintain strength and range in both knees.

"Okay, now, I won't be around to harass you about these, but keep doing them regularly, and just modify them as I've notated if they get too easy. Try to just do more reps, though. I wouldn't try to bulk it up just yet, and that's what you'll do with more weight added."

"Yes, ma'am." he said for old time's sake. She shook her head and smirked.

"And listen, please. This is your physical therapist talking right now. Be careful and mindful during … your cross country training." she wanted to call it "Survivor-Virginia," but refrained. She knew it would get his hackles up. And she was taking enough of a chance insisting that he be careful. "Nature has perils for the perfectly fit. The already injured are at a disadvantage from the gate. Mind your footing. And try not to run unless you have to. Uneven surfaces are not your friend just yet. You still need to work up to that. If you want, I'll help you with it when you get back. Just…don't undo all this work we've done together."

He seemed to see his woman peeking out from behind the mask of his therapist. Concern coloring the neutral and clinical advice she was giving him.

"I'll do my best, sunshine." he held her by the arms and kissed her forehead. It felt too intimate for the setting, but they had done worse. "I'll see ya tonight then?"

"Yeah, I'll bring some food by your place after work. What do you want?"

"Hmmm…I'll let you know." he kissed her cheek and left.

The next hour was her lunch, so she had time to contemplate what seeing him walk out for the last time had made her feel. She sighed, and started to well up, getting out her lunch bag to begin eating and documenting when a knock came at the door frame.

It was Sy, looking forlorn and manic and altogether a mess. Very unlike himself.

"I got out to the truck and something just felt wrong about the way I left today. As if it was any other day. Not our last session. You were trying to get that to land…I'm a little slow. But I finally got it." he walked to her, grabbing her up from her chair in a hug that mended all of the broken parts of her. Squeezed her back together when she'd been damn near falling apart. "Shane, you…you did more than just make me better. You've…made me better. Happier. Whole. I'll never be able to thank you properly for all of this, but…I intend to try for as long as you'll let me."

He held her while her tears fell softly onto his Def Leppard shirt. This was what she needed. For him to simply hold her, complete her, love her.

"Also, I think I'd like Chinese food tonight." she laughed into his neck.

"You idiot."

"You still like me."

"I do. And you don't need to worry about thanking me, Sy. You return the favor daily by just…being you…and being mine." She pulled him in to a ferociously sexy kiss, her hands in his hair, still too short for her liking, but getting there.

He broke away, neither wanting it to end, but both knowing it must, all the same.

"I thought we couldn't do this at your work?" he inquired, slightly out of breath.

"We couldn't do this while you were a patient. You're officially discharged. Last appointment over. All I have to do is sign your note and it's a done deal. But now…if you wanted to drop by for lunch sometime when you get back from training for your fancy job…we could…make it a regular occurrence." she smiled up into his entrancing blue eyes, sparkling with promise.

"I like the sound of that, sunshine." he gave her one more chaste kiss before his official goodbye. "See ya tonight."

As she watched him leave, she remembered thinking to herself one day how he probably used to take very confident strides…that hardly did his walk justice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

She ordered their favorites, four entrees total, so they had options, crab rangoon, egg rolls, dumplings, the works. She would be happy to eat off the leftovers all weekend. She wasn't fussy. She loved leftover Chinese takeout.

He met her at the door, having advance warning of her arrival from the canine burglar alarm, Aika.

"You got her. Good girl." he said sweetly thanking the pup for sounding off the Twilight Bark throughout the neighborhood.

"Hello!" She handed off the food to Sy and scratched at the German Shepherd's ears the way she liked, her tail wagging with joyous speed.

"I thought we could set up a buffet on the coffee table downstairs while we watch TV?"

"Sounds great!" She said, with an enthusiasm that sounded almost forced. She wasn't able to fully shake this foreboding she felt saying goodbye to him, no matter how long they'd be apart.

Sy grabbed plates and silverware while Shane got them some beverages, and they headed downstairs, Aika knowing her boundaries did not extend to the basement except by invitation, whined at their descent. Sy wasn't having it.

"Oh, don't give us that sob story, ya brat." he rolled his eyes at Shane.

"Aww, can't she come down with us?"

"No way. I want you all to myself." a devilish smirk twitched up the corners of his mouth making him even more handsome.

"Aika has nothin' on you. You're the real dog." she teased.

"I make no excuses or arguments. I'm gonna be selfish with you tonight." they put the food and supplies on the coffee table and he caught her up into his arms. He seemed to want to inhale her into his lungs.

"Mmmm, as endearing as I've always found generosity, I really like the sound of that." She let out a huff of amusement.

They spent an uncharacteristically short amount of time choosing something to watch. They'd already started a miniseries together, and they wanted to finish it before Sy left. It was a British political thriller with a lot of intrigue and quite a bit of sex. They only had two hours left, so they finished it quickly as they ate.

They decided to put on something familiar afterward. Die Hard. Which they both quoted with ridiculous precision. They were cuddled into each other on the big sectional, lulled into comfort by the familiar security of the dialogue and the warmth of the other.

Soon, Sy's hand found its way to Shane's thigh. It inched its way inside and up. She felt like he could hear her heart rate quicken, just as she knew he could hear her breaths come with more effort due to his touch.

She looked at him, and despite her apprehension about his decision to leave her so early in their relationship, she wanted him. She'd known for so long now. It felt like forever, for longer than they'd even known one another. A ridiculous notion. But with that same gaze, she begged him to continue. The signal was not lost on the captain. His mouth punished hers in a kiss so deliciously violent and needy she thought there was no way he couldn't feel the same for her. She pushed to the back of her busy mind all of the negative emotions the kiss brought up, the confusion as to how and why he was going to leave her when he clearly needed her just as badly as she needed him, and just let this beautiful moment become what it would.

As hard as that was to do.

The way he touched her was a pretty effective distraction. One hand held her firmly against his mouth by the nape while the other built friction in her over her jeans. She felt her body's primal responses of the building pressure and her hands gripping at his shirt. His guttural moan at her answering touch only fueled the inferno in her. She needed more of him. She thrust up into his hand wantonly. He took himself away from her, cruelly, but to be so very kind, she would soon see. He undid her jeans and tugged them down, along with her panties. In the process, he repositioned her conveniently at the edge of the sofa. He scooted the coffee table out of the way enough to kneel before her. He tortured her with kisses from her knee up her inner thigh on both sides before continuing those kisses where she really needed them.

His warm breath hit her first and she arched, aching in anticipation for the corporeal. He looked up at her with his dervish's grin, seeing the desire on her face and feeling it course through her body, and although he was a better man than her previous lovers, and a better man than most, no man was so good that making his woman feel like this didn't make him feel like a god.

"Darlin', you're so gorgeous like this." he said as he teased her with his mouth. Her words failed. She had only unintelligible syllables for him. He didn't seem to mind. In fact, he seemed thoroughly amused by her speechlessness. Amused and encouraged. She'd never felt like this before. His lips and tongue worked over her trembling flesh, both as familiar paths and brand new territory. Discovering the new and remembering the familiar, all at once.

"Sy." she whispered, so close to her peak, and needing him to continue, but unable to do more than moan his name.

"I know, sugar. I know it won't be long. Whenever you're ready, sweetheart."

And she fell apart under his expert touch. He soothed her body down from the climax and asked her if she was ready for bed.

"I think not!" she replied. "The movie isn't over." and she pulled him up to her by the cheeks into another crushing kiss and guided him to the couch. She kicked her bottoms off her ankles to avoid tripping and repositioned herself between his legs as he'd done with her.

"You don't have to, sunshine." he caressed her jaw.

"I know, babe. I want to. Let me do this for you." He was always eager to taste her but she'd yet to return the favor at his own request. She was done letting him decline. She didn't want him leaving without giving him this small parting gift.

It wasn't as if she was unfamiliar with how big he was. She'd touched him, and had him inside her…but seeing him this close was different. She fully appreciated what a feat it was to take him.

She started in with her own tricks, which made him moan, just as planned. His hands laced gently and lovingly in her hair as she worked her mouth and hands over him. She looked up at him after a few moments to gauge his reaction and couldn't have been more pleased. His expression was one of pure, tortured bliss. She felt so powerful.

"Angel, I'm not gonna last much longer." she took that as her cue to get on top of him.

She joined their bodies with a groan of ecstasy that he echoed. She gripped his shoulders as she moved against him, slow and measured at first, but becoming more frantic and erratic as she chased her climax. One hand remaining on her hip, the other came to her chin and directed her gaze to him. Her eyes, blazing with desire, met his, full of tears. She fell against his lips, as she climbed higher, needing that final push to send her over. Which it did, tumbling into that familiar bliss, that she'd have to savor for…well, too long. She didn't want to think too hard about that. This would be their last night together for several weeks. And she wanted to make the most of it. She looked at him, nodded, and after a few more thrusts, he came to his own pinnacle with a shudder beneath her, clutching at her back, resting his head on her sternum. She held him there, and took a few cleansing breaths with her own cheek pressed against his lengthening hair. She stroked the ones at the back of his neck for a moment as they came down from their impossible high.

"Shall we continue this upstairs?" she asked as the cheery, festive, and entirely out-of-season notes of "Let It Snow" played on the TV with the rolling credits of Die Hard. He grinned.

"Yeah, if I still have bones in my legs." he kissed her neck, just above the collar of her tee. "And I'll come down later and clear all this up. We'll just have to close the door so Aika doesn't come down and have herself a party. She's a good dog, but I'm not about to tempt her."

Shane carefully slid off of Sy's lap, attempting not to make too much of a mess, grabbed her panties and slipped them on for the walk to Sy's room.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The musical chiming of Sy's phone alarm came too damned early. They'd barely slept, not wanting to waste a moment together. When they finally nodded off after their last round of fervent love-making, they wrapped themselves around one another and were both out like lights in no time. Now he was untangling himself from her to turn the noise off and presumably begin the process of getting ready to leave for the airport. He only snoozed it, though, and pulled her more tightly against his bare, hairy chest.

"What time is it?" She asked, bleary from lack of sleep and extreme fatigue. Not that she was complaining.

"Seven. But my flight doesn't leave until 10, and it's just from the base. There's a flight leaving there for Charlottesville-Albemarle Airport and I'm hitchin' a ride with them."

"Oh good. I had anticipated we'd have to drive to Springfield, or even St. Louis this morning." She would do it for Sy, of course, but she wasn't looking forward to a six hour minimum round trip, half of which she would have to make alone.

"Nah, and I'm hoping to work something out for the return trip, too, but I'll let you know about that, then. I've made those open ended, though, because I don't know about the return date."

"Sure. God, that's so…crazy. Not in a bad way, just, I can't imagine leaving home without a clear plan on when I'd be back. Of course, knowing it won't be more than a month helps, I guess."

"Yeah."

"And really, a part of me has dreamed of living a sort of nomadic existence since I was very young, so I definitely see the romance in it."

"Totally agree. Hey, I'm hungry. How about we get ready and I'll buy ya breakfast?" He seemed evasive, but she was hungry, too, so she let it go.

"Sounds great!"

They got up and showered together, keeping the sexy time to a minimum given the current time constraints they'd now placed upon themselves. If they didn't hurry, they'd never get out of Cracker Barrell in time to get him to the base.

He loaded his bag in her cargo space and they headed off to the restaurant, which was hopping with traffic on a Saturday morning, as was expected. But since there were only two of them, they got a table without waiting.

They ordered coffees, and Cokes, not super healthy, but hey, this wasn't a daily occurrence. It was a splurge.

Sy ordered some massive and meaty breakfast spread that sounded like a heart attack waiting to happen, while Shane kept it simple with biscuits and gravy and a side of fruit…also, she stole a strip of Sy's bacon. Again…she was a weak woman.

The conversation was light and friendly and lovey…until the time came to leave. Sy picked up the check and took it to the counter to pay and then led her out the double doors back to her vehicle.

"You'll be able to FaceTime me on evenings you haven't gone walkabout in the wilderness, right?"

"I'm not sure they call it that outside of Australia, or even the Crocodile Dundee movies, but yeah, we'll plan on that, for sure."

"Good. I'll miss you so much. But at least I have a pretty good idea of when you'll be back." she was spouting excitedly, but he was being rather cagey again. He piped up with three words that never start off a good sentence.

"Yeah, about that…" she looked at him as they closed the doors to her Explorer, waiting for him to continue…hoping for good news, but expecting bad.

"I got an email last night…late…that I…that the training…might take longer than they told me at first." he winced for the impact of her reception of the anticipated bad news.

"Longer…uh-huh. How much longer?" she asked, backing out of her parking space.

"Ya know if you back into these spaces you don't have to worry about--"

"Really? This is the moment you want to man-splain the concepts of parking to me, Sy? I'll save you the trouble. My dad couldn't get me to do it, and I don't see you having any success, either. Now, how much longer?"

"I don't…they didn't give a concrete--"

"Give me your best guess based on what you know. Give me a range. A ballpark, if you will."

"Uhh…two or three more…weeks…than planned." he winced as she drove toward Fort Leonard Wood Army Base from the peaceful breakfast joint. It was rather poetic, really, since the conversation had turned from relaxed to militant. And they were driving from civilian territory into a land of combatants. Not a war zone, but a zone of warriors, perhaps. And she was ready for battle, herself.

"Sy. That's more than six weeks."

"I know." he said, his eyes downcast in some combination of shame, fear, and sadness.

"And you're…fine with it?" she prodded, prompting him to consider her.

"Of course I don't like it. I'm gonna hate being away from my sunshine for even a week. But this is…it's about who I am. Who I'm meant to be from now on. I have to find my way from here, Shane."

"I guess my only question is…where do I fit into this…path. This life you're making for yourself? We're brand new. But we've worked really hard already to get where we are. And I've worked really hard to get to where I am, professionally. In my dream job. No, the circumstances aren't ideal, but the work makes me think, and gives me purpose. What am I suppose to do? Either I give that up, or I give up…the only man I've ever been with who's made me actually happy."

"I don't want that. I don't want to lose you, and I don't want you to give anything up for me, darlin.' That'll just lead to you resentin' me down the road, and I don't want that, neither." He stopped a moment and just looked at her, face holding back frustrated and angry tears…but also very sad ones. "What about this? Let's just, talk about all this moving forward stuff when I'm back from training. At that point, I'll know more about what to expect about jobs and assignments. And…if it would make you feel more comfortable…we can call ourselves…unexclusive. That way, if you meet someone while I'm gone--"

"Have you lost your mind?" She interrupted his ridiculous attempt to be selfless. She was secure enough in his feelings for her that he wasn't making the suggestion for himself.

"I'm serious. If you meet someone, and he sweeps you off your feet, don't resist. I want you to be happy, Shane."

"Then come back and teach gym at the local high school. Better yet, don't go, at all."

"You remember all that stuff you said about having your dream job and a purpose?" Shane nodded. "You want me to find all that too, don'tcha?"

"No. I'm a selfish bitch who wants you here with me no matter the cost. And I don't care if you resent me in the long run. At least I'll have you." she laughed at her sarcasm and only slightly true self-deprecation.

"You'll be fine. You managed so far without me." he reminded her as she pulled up to the gate, guarded by about four men, who's rank she couldn't tell, but one of whom Sy called a sergeant.

"I'll get out here and they'll take me to the hangar in a cart. No civilian vehicles allowed today. Apparently they're doing maneuvers." he shrugged and got out to grab his bag.

"I put the rest of the takeout in here too. It's in one of my nice coolers on ice."

"Thanks." she told her shoes as they stood under the shade of her rear access hatch. She couldn't look at him right now. He made her, though.

"This ain't quite like the airport, but I still don't have a lot of time, sunshine." he kissed her hard, and it really felt like a goodbye, which almost hurt more than his leaving. Almost. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, and she knew she'd feel that embrace all evening. She hoped it would last for weeks.

"I love you, Sy." she sobbed to him. Trying like hell to keep it together.

"I love you, darlin.' Now don't you forget that when some other handsome fella gives you the eye. Make sure he's worth it, if you're gonna write me a dear john letter." he winked at her. She laughed and nodded, but didn't feel it was that funny, and didn't intend to adhere to his parameters of their relationship. He ducked under the arm that was preventing her from driving through. Although, legs as long as his, he almost could have stepped over it. She watched him walk away for as long as she could before she was given the signal that she must leave and let other traffic through…although, she resented this. There were two lanes, after all. Couldn't these men see what a mess she was? She'd just had to say goodbye to the love of her life…and she didn't know when…or indeed, if…she'd see him again. She had hope…but that didn't stop her from crying all the way home and the rest of the afternoon as the ghost of Sy's parting hug faded from her skin.

Up Next: Chapter 13: SNAFU

#netflix sand castle #Sand Castle #captain syverson #Captain Syverson x OFC #syverson smut #captain syverson fanfic #sigh for sy #henry cavill #henry cavill fanfic #henry cavill smut #henry cavill x ofc #Smut

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feverinfeveroutfic · 3 years ago

Text

chapter six: the black night

Sam and Alex spent about an hour of that first day in Germany there in the hotel room, away from the world, and with only each other. Neither of them were fatigued from the overnight flight. She had considered on taking her journal out for herself and for a drawing of something, much like how she made a special drawing for the show in England. But she had no idea if she should share her work with Alex, especially when he caught a glimpse of her doodling a sunflower on the inside of the journal's cover.

He sat next to her on the bed, in his little shorts, white socks, and his Gary Moore shirt, and with his legs pulled up a bit, and his hands right between his thighs. She gasped at his looking on at what she was doing and she covered up the doodle with her hand. He in turn gasped in response to that. She realized that he had seen her art but he hadn't known that it was actually her.

“Is it okay if I have a peek?” he asked her in a small voice and with his eyebrows raised which enlarged his deep eyes a bit.

“It's—It's kind of private, though,” she told him.

“I liked it, though,” he confessed, still in a small voice. “Basquiat died a few weeks ago, so I like to see another artist ascend to the position of greatness at some point.”

“I'm no Basquiat, though,” she insisted.

“Well, yeah. Every artist is unique. Basquiat was one of a kind—and even from a small sliver of a glimpse into your art book here, I can tell that you yourself are one of a kind. And that little thing you were drawing just there piqued my interest a bit. So—” He bowed his head and he raised his eyebrows even more, which softened his face to that of a young boy. “—is it okay if I have a little peek?”

He then lifted his head.

“I mean, it's only fair. You got to see the beginnings of our new album—twice! You're also seeing the transition of eras between albums.”

She swallowed and she leaned forward a bit to make sure that they were alone in the hotel room: Greg had gone off with Eric and Louie to have breakfast, while Chuck and Tiffany went out somewhere.

She then moved her hand out of the way to show him the little sunflower.

“Oh! Have you seen the painting that Vincent van Gogh did? The one of the sunflowers?”

“I have, yes! A few times, actually! It's—probably one of my favorites from him, to be honest.”

His face then lit up and he snapped his fingers.

“You know—we are in Europe, and on the western side of the Iron Curtain no less. It's not like we're back on the West Coast where you kind of have to set aside a whole few days just to go from L.A. to some place in Oregon or wherever. We can get on a train and go up to Frankfurt and visit a museum.”

“Would you take me there?” she gasped at that.

“Samantha, this is Europe,” he told her. “Ever since the war ended, they've been all about a revival of culture here. So—you know, I don't really wanna sit around here in my shorts and watch German TV all day long, either. I know you don't, too.”

“I don't,” she confessed with a shake of her head.

“Well, then.” He clicked off the television and he stretched out his long lanky legs before him. “Let me put some pants on and we'll catch the next train up to Frankfurt. It's only a few hours anyways.”

“Maybe we can go up to Copenhagen, too?”

He stopped. “If there's time today, we shall see.” He flashed her a wink and then he swung his legs over the edge of the mattress, and he walked over to the bathroom with his jeans. Sam closed her journal and she tucked her pencil right up next to the spine as she set it off to the side on the bed cover. She climbed off herself to put her shoes back on; soon he came back out with his black hair a bit more frizzy than she had seen before and a big silver skull ring on his right hand.

“I can see you being a continental of sorts, Alex,” she confessed.

“A continental?” he laughed.

“Yeah. I mean, you're smart and you're in touch with the world at large, and you like art, too.”

“I dunno,” he said with a shrug, “I feel like if you're considered a continental, you actually have to hail from the continent of Europe. Remember, the last name is not only Jewish but it's Eastern European.”

He adjusted the big ring on his right ring finger: it almost looked too big for his hand.

“Why a skull?” she chuckled at him.

“Why not?” he asked as he flashed it to her. “It's actually a symbol of life. Like a carpe diem—a reminder that the clock is ticking for me and for all of us. I also wanna think for myself, too. I've also got it on my right hand because I ain't married.”

“Mr. Swinger,” she teased him, and he scoffed at that. “You are in fact a continental!” She picked up her purse and slung it over her shoulder.

“I've got a bit of money on me,” he assured her. “It's not a lot 'cause of the whole exchange rate and everything, but it's better than nothing, though.”

“I've got money, too,” she told him as they stepped out of there and into the hallway. He shut the door and tucked the room key into his front pocket.

“Remember if someone asks us, we're just hanging out together,” she told him as they walked on to the lobby and the front doors.

“Well, yeah, of course.” He chuckled at that, and they kept on going to the sidewalk outside. Chuck and Tiffany strode back into the hotel right then.

“Where you guys going?” he asked them in a big jovial voice.

“Frankfurt,” Alex promptly replied. “Taking the train up.”

“Have fun, kids,” Tiffany said with a smile on her face.

A beautiful but gray day there in Bavaria: Alex peered up to the sky overhead with his eyes squinted and his lips parted a bit as if he yearned for a glass of water.

“Think I could've brought a jacket with me?” he wondered aloud; the hazy sunlight made his smooth skin appear even more smooth than before. The little tuft of gray almost stood straight up over his brow.

“Nah, I think we'll be fine,” Sam assured him as she took out her sunglasses from her purse and put them upon her face. They walked side by side down the sidewalk: right at the corner was the sign to the train station, across the street and down the block from there.

“The trains around here run like clockwork,” he told her as they awaited at the corner, “especially those in Switzerland.”

“Like literal clockwork over there,” she said with a grin on her face.

“Exactly!” he chuckled at that. “They're nothing like the trains or the buses back in the States.” He ran his fingers through his hair, and especially through his gray stripe. “Think it's time to dye my hair again.”

“Why's that?” she asked him.

“To rid of this little thing of gray on my head.”

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

“I kinda like it.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. It's interesting. Like, why is it in a single little plume upon your head like that and not all over?”

“I wish I knew,” he confessed and they crossed the street together. Once he had caught up to her, he spoke up again.

“A few years back, I was brushing my hair and I happened to look down to the sink, and I saw a gray hair there. I picked it up and I wondered where it could've come from. So I showed it to my mom and she goes, 'oh, it's probably from your dad.' But my dad's completely and totally bald, though. He hasn't had hair on his head since before I was born—at least that's according to her, anyway.”

“Wow.” Sam was stunned by that.

“Yeah, and soon another one grew back there.” She thought of the nickname she, Aurora, and Marla had given him at the Legacy shows: the boy with the pearl in his hair. “And, you know that whole thing where you shouldn't pluck gray hairs because more will grow in their place?”

“Sort of, yeah.”

“Well, my mom told me not to do it for that very reason. What did I do?”

“You plucked that one?”

“Yeah. Next thing I know, I got a whole little pocket of gray right there in a few months time.”

She laughed at that.

“And yeah—I have to confess, I'm particularly self conscious of it.”

She stopped laughing right then.

“Aw. Really?”

He nodded his head at that with a downcast look upon his face.

“It makes me look old, you know?” he continued with a lean into her own face. “Like, I'm nineteen looking on at my twenties soon. I shouldn't be going gray yet.”

“But I like it, though,” she insisted. “Like I said, it's interesting.”

He shrugged at that. “I've had people ask me if it's a birthmark, but who knows, really.”

Sam thought about the conversation that she had had with Aurora and Marla about that little pearl of gray, about the boy with the pearl in his hair. She couldn't exactly recall everything about it as he held the train station door for her.

“Thank you, dear gentleman,” she told him as she took off her sunglasses before she headed inside.

“Herr Skolnick and Fraulein Shelley,” he corrected her as he shut the glass door behind them. “That's the only German I know so far. That's according to this guy Louie talked to while we were in there.”

“Pronounced 'froy line', you said?” she asked.

“Yeah, he broke it down for the two of us, too. It literally means 'young lady.' Kind of ironic because I'm actually younger of the two of us.”

Sam giggled at that and he led her over to the ticket booth, which stood wide open just for them.

“Two single adults to Frankfurt, please—round trip,” he kindly told the man, and he took his wallet out from his front pocket.

“A combination for you and your girlfriend, too?” he asked Alex in a light German accent, and he was taken aback by that.

“Oh, she's not my—” He gestured to Sam.

“Couples get half off on the midday rides,” he continued, and Alex and Sam looked on at each other with knowing glances.

“Uh—yeah, we'll take it,” Alex told the man; and he snickered at the whole notion. “Good idea, right, babe?”

“Yeah, baby!” Sam went along with it. Alex took out a couple of euros from hiding and the man inside handed him a pair of tickets.

“For the Amerikanischer and his kleine Dame.”

“How do we say 'thank you'?” he asked the man.

“Danke schoen. 'Please' is bitte.”

“Oh, right, right, right! Uh, yeah, danke schoen.” He gazed on at Sam with a bemused look on his face, but she couldn't help but giggle at him as he handed one of the two to her. All the way towards the platform, she resisted laughing more at him. They stood there in anticipation of the train and the gray sky overhead darkened a bit with more rain clouds. Alex cupped a hand to his mouth to stifle his laughter. Sam felt her face grow warm from the feeling.

“Man,” he muttered and he shook his head.

“For real. I was not expecting that.”

He snickered some more.

“Couldn't beat that with a stick, though,” he said in a low voice.

“No way.” Sam thought of Bill right then and his incessant penny pinching. At least there she was headed into an art museum in central Germany and not a little market the size of someone's house down the street from her. There was a good reason with Alex: if she put any thought into Bill's behavior, it would ruin her day out with Alex himself.

“I got us the parlor car, by the way,” he told her; far off to his left, the silver train turned the corner on the railroad.

“Oh, you big stud!” she joked as she knew the man in the booth was still in earshot from there. He chuckled at that. The train rolled up before them and they soon boarded it one after the other. They were greeted by the warmth and comfort of the parlor car: nothing like the parlor cars back in the States for sure.

They took the spots closest to the window, but before she took her seat there, Sam spotted a small bar tucked in the far corner of the car behind them.

“Care for some authentic German beer?” she offered him with a gesture towards the bar.

“Bitte, meine Dame,” he joked, and she giggled at him and then she stopped. “Wait, that was good. You are a continental!”

The train rolled forward and she made her way over to the heavy white stone bar tucked in the corner. The female tender with the short bob of maroon tinted black hair showed her a smile in response.

“Two glasses of—ooh, Belgian beer, please,” she said.

“Two glasses, you said?” the woman echoed in a thick French accent.

“Uh, yeah—for me and my boyfriend over there,” she told her, and she had a difficult time in stifling a giggle at that. The bartender poured her and Alex a pair of glasses of that rich dark Belgian beer; when she handed the first glass to Sam, she looked behind her to the seat next to the window and gasped.

“Oh, my god, 'e is a beautiful boy,” said the woman in a hushed voice.

“Yeah, I guess he is,” Sam told her with a shrug.

“No—cherie, listen to me. 'E is a beautiful young man. I 'ave never seen a boy so beautiful as 'im.” She turned her head back in Alex's direction: the way the gray light of the day glowed back onto his milky skin so it resembled to porcelain and onto the plume of gray upon his head, and his jet black hair appeared blacker than normal. She handed Sam the next glass of beer. “You Americans—you must take care of one another and love one another. Take good care of 'im.”

Even though Alex wasn't her boyfriend, she couldn't help but wonder how much longer they could carry the whole charade out there in Europe.

“How much are these?” she asked with a gesture to the glasses.

“Five euros, s'il vous plait.”

Sam handed her five bills and then she picked up the glasses. “Is it—merci?” she asked her.

“Oui! Merci beaucoup.”

“Uh, merci beaucoup! He's learning German and I'm learning French so it—just makes sense.”

“Right? Enjoy your ride, ma cherie.”

Sam felt her face grow warm once more as she headed back to the seat across from Alex.

“Looking—as—red as a—cherry—tomato,” he stammered given neither of them were sure the woman was within hearing range of them. Sam giggled at him and he shrugged his shoulders; she handed him the glass before she took a seat across from him.

“I should tell you that this place that we're playing at this weekend, Schweinfurt—it's a few miles from the Iron Curtain. Like the border to East Germany is literally right down the street from there. I looked at it on this atlas that my parents have before we left—it's nuts.”

“Oh, wow, really?”

“Yeah—and I saw the train route while I was getting tickets in there. It's right after Nuremberg, too. We get to Nuremberg and then we hang a left and we're in Schweinfurt. Apparently, we have a stopover there!”

“Cool! So we get to see a little peek at it?”

“Exactly. Stopover there and then it's onto Frankfurt. Beyond that is Cologne and Essen, and then Amsterdam. But that's a full day's trip, though—Munich to Amsterdam.”

“Like, something to set aside for a whole trip altogether.”

“Right! We went to Amsterdam last summer for that festival that we played—you know, Eindhoven. Beautiful there. You think Germany's beautiful. I wanted to visit the van Gogh museum but we were kinda strapped for time, though.”

“Some day,” she remarked.

“Definitely, some day.” He raised his glas to her and they made a toast to each other. They took a sip of the Belgian beer in unison: nothing like any drink Sam had had back in the States, or even the cocktails that she had with Marla back in England. This was strong and full but nothing to get the both of them drunk, however.

“Oh, my god,” she blurted out as she brought a hand to her chest.

“Yeah, that's unreal.” He gaped at the sensation and rolled his eyes a bit, and she giggled at him, and he showed her a smile in return.

Within the hour, they stopped over in Schweinfurt and Alex pointed out the window. Beyond the train station was a street: off in the distance, Sam could see the pavement recede back into the heart of the city. A part of her expected to see a full on brigade off in the distance but she knew that the Soviet Union still loomed over them, and even more so from the station there at the edge of West Germany. Indeed, she spotted two men on the sidewalk wrapped in red and black overcoats and with batons latched to their belts.

“Soviets,” Alex pointed out. “See the hammer and sickle on their chests?”

Sam took a closer look: embroidered on their chests were little medallions. Even from the train window, she could make out the shape of the hammer and sickle inside there. It almost didn't even look real, even from a distance.

“Oh, wow,” she breathed out.

“I remember when we came over here last summer to play at Eindhoven festival and Louie, Greg, and I came here to Germany first before Chuck and Eric did, and I saw one of them when we got close to the border. Probably the most surreal moment of my life. It's like 'oh my god, it's real.' You know what I mean?”

“Oh, yeah!”

Those men merely stood there on the sidewalk as if they awaited something. But within time, the train rolled out of the station and westward to Frankfurt. But at that point, it was almost three in the afternoon, which meant they only had a couple of hours to relish in an art museum.

But there was absolutely nothing in the world that Sam could get past and that was the big beaming smile on Alex's face the whole rest of the afternoon.

The cold expression that she had grown almost all too familiar with had completely vanished and gave way to one of true joy. In those few hours as they walked along the cobblestones and visited a bakery for a bite of late lunch of open faced sandwiches and Black Forest cake, and then they continued on in search of the arts to nourish themselves further, every time Sam looked over at him, he looked up at all the buildings around them with a sweet smile plastered on his face. The happiest he had been up to that point, and he wasn't even with Testament right at that moment.

They were alone together in Germany and he enjoyed every moment of it.

At one point as they walked to a bookstore on a corner, she considered putting her arm around his shoulder. She had to stop herself, however: he wasn't her boyfriend.

But he certainly felt like it as she bought him a big glazed sugar cookie from another bakery.

“I'm gonna gain so much weight hanging out with you, Samantha,” he joked as he took a slow sensual bite; he rolled his eyes into the back of his head as if he experienced an orgasm.

“Get some meat on those bones,” she retorted, and the bakers laughed at that.

By the time the sun hung low over the horizon, and the gray sky began to change colors to a rich royal blue, they began back to the train station. Alex lovingly patted his stomach by the time they stepped on the platform. She had never seen him more contented as they gave the conductor their tickets before they stepped aboard. He snuggled down in the seat by the window on the right side: that time, they didn't have a table between them.

“Back to Schweinfurt!” he declared with a big beaming smile on his face.

It was the happiest she had ever seen Alex; she nestled close to him as if he was in fact her boyfriend at that point. His body was warm from the food, his face was rosy from the Belgian beer, and his hair was soft from the moisture in the gray skies overhead. Even if it was only for a few hours, she knew she had done him good that day. She had done what the bartender in the previous train wanted her to do for him.

As the train started moving, he leaned back in the seat and closed his eyes. That time there was no arm rest between them, but a bit of a divet separated their seats, so she couldn't lean all the way over to him to cuddle with him. But he was warm and full: she had to relish in the soft feeling from his body.

He gave his dark hair a little toss and he looked at her with that sweet smile still upon his face.

“Still wanna dye your hair again?” she asked him as she eyed the gray tuft over his brow. He shrugged his shoulders.

“Don't really know, to be honest,” he confessed, “after today, I just might keep it.”

“As black as the very night itself,” she whispered to him.

“As black as night—but the gray as bright as day.” He winked at her when he said that and she beamed at him.

Soon, they made their stopover in Schweinfurt and that time around, they had enough time to step off the train. Sam went on to the ladies' room while Alex made his way over to the ticket booth for a question.

She surfaced out of there when she spotted those black curls right in front of her, but without his guitar on his back.

“Hey, Joey,” she greeted him in a soft voice, and he turned his head and flashed her a grin.

“What you doin' here?” he asked her.

“Oh, just—checking the place out,” she replied; she didn't dare tell him that she was there with Alex lest he fly off the handle at the mention of his name.

“You know, we're only a little ways away from the border of East Germany,” he told her.

“Oh, yeah, yeah, I know.”

“We get any closer—goin' down this street here—we get stopped by the cops over there.” He glanced up to the clock on the far wall. “We better hustle on back to the train.”

“I should ask you what you're doing here, then,” she retorted back to him, and she couldn't resist the grin on her face.

“I'm doin' what you're doin' and checkin' the whole place out. I got nothin' better to do, to be perfectly honest wit' ya.”

“Well...” She thought about Alex in the back of the train station, and his talking to the man in the ticket booth over there.

“Well, what? You wanna mosey on back to Munich and go grab a li'l bite to eat?”

The warm, soft feeling that Alex had bestowed onto her was still powerful and she desired for more of it. “That's real kind of you, Joey, but—”

“Oh, c'mon! You're my girlfriend after all. I can't hang out with my girlfriend in Germany?”

“You have to ask first,” she pointed out with a wag of her finger. The ringing of a bell caught their attention.

“We have to get going,” he told her and he raised his dark eyebrows at her. He began towards the train outside but Alex was still somewhere back there. They were about to leave soon; she chased after Joey towards the platform.

“By the way, I should have to ask you—how'd you get so tan?”

“I got a bit sunburnt a few months ago,” he told her with a shrug of his shoulders. “It all just peeled right off and underneath was all as brown as a coffee bean.”

The soles of his shoes padded on the concrete before them and she hurried after him. She peered over her shoulder: Alex was nowhere to be seen behind them.

Joey reached out for her hand and he led her onto the parlor car of the train, the exact same car as when she and Alex rode up to Amsterdam together. He took one step onto the floor of the doorway and she followed suit. She hung there in anticipation of him. He was somewhere in there.

She would stand there and wait for him if she had to. Even if it meant blocking passengers from boarding themselves. Even if it meant throwing all of the trains completely off schedule from each other.

“Sam?” Joey called back to her.

“Coming!” she replied, and she peered out to the incoming darkness. He ducked out from the station. She recognized that little tuft of gray from afar. He craned his neck in search of her. Even though he wasn't her boyfriend, he certainly felt as such right there as he looked for her.

She waved at him so as to grab his attention. She dared not call his name given Joey was right behind her.

“Sam!” Joey called again.

“Alex!” she blurted out. “Alex!” He turned his head right as the last few passengers boarded the car in front of her. He bolted right there and ran towards her. The train was about to leave right there.

“Hey!” Alex called after her.

“Sam, c'mon!” Joey insisted and he grabbed her by the hand and he took her aboard the train. The doors closed before Alex could come on board himself. He pounded on the doors but it was useless and too late at that point. The train rolled forward right then and there.

“HEY WHAT THE FUCK!” he shouted on the other side of the glass; his big voice echoed over the train. Joey dragged her to the seats on the other side of the train, unbeknownst to it all. Sam stood there before him, unsure as to what to do next. She knew that Joey was turning a blind eye to him.

“HEY!” Alex called out and he waved his arms about. She gasped at the sight of him there on the platform with his arms straight up in the air. She turned to Joey, oblivious to what had happened.

“Oh, no,” she muttered under her breath. She knew that the next train would be there soon enough, but she still left Alex behind, and about a mile away from the border no less. At least they were still in West Germany and they hadn't crossed over the Iron Curtain at any given moment. But if what he had told her about it remained true, he was still potentially within harm's way.

“FUCK!” was the last thing she heard before the train went around the corner and away from him. Her false boyfriend left behind about a mile from the edge of the Iron Curtain, and she went with her real boyfriend at that point.

“Care for a cuppa Joey?” Joey himself offered to her with that lopsided grin on his face.

“Um—sure.” She couldn't help from feeling out the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach, and especially the heavy feeling inside of her chest. She left Alex behind, but then again, it wasn't exactly her fault. The train was about to leave.

Their small white china cups of coffee soon arrived and Joey was eager for the first taste. She couldn't enjoy it however. She kept on thinking about Alex, all by himself at a strange train station. She also missed the nickname Joey had given the cups of coffee as well: she couldn't exactly enjoy that for herself, either.

It would be another hour and a half before they returned to the station in Munich, and all the while, she thought of him. She wanted to cry but she couldn't, not with Joey right there in front of her.

By the time they reached the station in Munich, it was almost nine thirty and she couldn't bear to look at everyone because she knew someone would ask her what happened. Lucky for her, Joey led her to a small stretch of grass right across the street from their hotel, one that overlooked a small dark lake; before them was a narrow cobblestone walkway and a few metal tables accompanied with spindly chairs. He gestured for her to have a seat on the chair closest to her.

“I'll be right back,” he told her, and she nodded at him. She sat there, all alone, in a foreign city, and she had no idea as to what to say to Alex when he showed up again, that is if he did. Surely he knew that she waited for him at the door. Surely he would understand.

Joey soon returned to her from across the street with two cups of water in hand, and he handed her the one in his left.

“So—you guys are—touring?” she started with a clearing of her throat; she took a sip and the cold feeling upon her tongue was all she needed to feel right then.

“Yeah.” Joey turned his attention to her, complete with a thoughtful look on his face. “By the way, you've been awful quiet lately. I don't ever recall you being so quiet.”

“Oh, it's—it's nothing,” she sputtered out. “I'm just—in awe of—everything.”

Something moved about down on the grass. She spotted that little tuft of gray hair over his brow. He flashed Joey a dirty look and he looked at her with a cold glare. Even from a distance, she could feel his anger. She took a sip of her water as he walked on over to the dry patch of grass down by the waters.

Joey gave his black curls a little toss back from his neck and he showed her that lopsided grin. He then rested the side of his head within the palm of his hand.

“God, you know—it really is just so beautiful here,” he remarked with a glance up to the black sky overhead.

“Yeah—it really is,” she said with a look right into his eyes. “Like—upstate, but more.”

“Right?” She looked into his eyes so she wouldn't have to see what Alex was doing. But she could still see him out of the corner of her eye. Joey peered over his shoulder to the cobblestone walkway behind him with his dark lips still upturned in a joyous smile.

Alex had taken his spot there on the grass not too far from them, and he leaned back onto his elbows and stretched out his legs. Sam wondered where exactly she had gone wrong there with him. She would have to go back to the room with him, after she left him there within range of East Germany to his own whims. She left him there all by himself and he had hardly any money of him to top it all off.

When Joey wasn't looking, she had to talk to him.

Joey himself downed the whole cup of water in four large gulps.

“Let me get you some dinner,” he offered her as he set the cup down on the table.

“Oh, no, Joey it's—it's okay. I'm not hungry.”

“What?” he asked her with a bit of a mocking tone to his voice.

“I really am not hungry.”

“Oh, come on,” he encouraged her. “Some brats and sauerkraut to fill your cute li'l belly—I wanna treat my girlfriend well!”

She swallowed as he stood to his feet and rounded the side of the table. She watched him go across the street to the cafe next door to the hotel: she watched him go inside.

And then she turned her head to the right. Alex had turned around so he could watch her from a distance.

She walked up to him and he glared at her.

“Hey—about earlier,” she started, and he shook his head and he brought a hand to his brow as if he had a headache. She swallowed. She knew she had messed up by leaving him there, and she had to face the music with him, but she couldn't resist the sinking feeling in her chest.

“Alex, listen, he's my boyfriend,” she insisted, and she could feel her stomach twisting itself into a tight knot. Alex stood upright then and he towered over her.

“I know,” he said, terse. “But what I can't understand is what you continually see in him, though. And you ditched me, too!”

She paused right there and her mouth fell dry as a bone, more dry than any alcoholic drink ever left it feeling in the past. He shook his head about at her and nothing could deny the look of disgust on his face, either.

“You,” he stammered and he grew angrier and angrier right there, right before her, “you—you—fucking ditched me right by the boundary to East Germany. You ditched me when you knew damn well that there are Soviet soldiers over that way. How—” His bottom lip trembled and his face turned bright pink. The look of anger on his face twisted into one of heartbreak. They weren't in a relationship but she could tell that she had broken his heart.

“How—How—How could you?” he sputtered and he buried his face in his hands. Sam lunged for him but he pushed her hands away from him.

“No!” he yelped with furious tears in his eyes. “No! No, god dammit!”

“Alex, listen to me—”

“How could you become the very thing you are up against!” His voice broke to where she could barely hear him.

“What?” Sam demanded, stunned.

“You behaved just like that sad sack of nothing you call a friend, Aurora. She made my birthday all about her—you made our day out all about you. How could you!”

“Don't insult Aurora like that!” she spat, but Alex bowed his head again and he ran away from her and back to the lobby. She fumed at him even though he couldn't see her. How could he compare her to Aurora! But at the same time, as she stood there on the grass with her hands down by her waist, she couldn't help but wonder exactly what he meant by that.

She had gone off with Joey and left Alex at the train station, right within range of those Soviet soldiers.

She did.

But he had no right to say that about Aurora, even after everything she had done in the past year.

But his tears told her a different story. He wept at the very notion itself. Joey had already gone back to his room as well. She fetched up a sigh.

She had dinner with Joey but she wasn't in any mood to be with him after the fact. The day was about Alex, and she had been caught up in her own unfinished business all the while.

“I might just go to bed early, babe,” she told him as Joey walked her back to the room. “I have a headache. You know, with all the traveling and whatnot.”

“Oh, of course,” he replied, still with a thoughtful look on his face. “Besides, we're supposed to be back in our rooms at eleven, and here it is ten thirty.” Before she reached into her pocket for the room key, Joey leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on her lips. A feeling that she had missed.

It felt so long ago, and yet it was all within her hands right there.

“I love you,” he whispered into her mouth.

“I love you more,” she retorted, and he chuckled at that.

“You have a good night,” he whispered again, and he gave her another kiss before she unlocked the door and headed inside. She set down her purse on the table: Chuck and Tiffany had gone out again, and Greg was nowhere to be seen, but Alex had already crawled into bed. The bed sheet hugged his slender body so she kept her eye on the smooth curvature while she changed her clothes right there next to the bed.

She rounded the foot of the bed so she could look into his slumbering face. But he rolled over before she could so much as peel back the covers; he breathed hard and heavy as she crawled underneath the bed sheet next to him.

“Alex—” she whispered.

But he never acknowledged back to her. Joey was in fact her boyfriend, but at the same time, she had left him there at the train station. He sniffled and she knew that he was crying again.

“Alex, listen,” she started right into his ear. “I'm terribly sorry about earlier. I know you're hurt and I hope you can forgive me. But as I've said, Joey is my boyfriend. I couldn't help it. I hope you can forgive not just me but the both of us. You also had no right to insult Aurora like that. Yeah, she's been a complete egotistical bitch since she got married, but I still consider her a friend.”

But he was silent still. She sighed through her nose and she lay back down in the bed with her arms folded across her chest as she awaited for Greg to rejoin them. The whole incident left her divided. Too divided to think things over and too tired to even consider the very suggestion itself.

But she managed to fall asleep before she got to see him walk through that door, and she awoke by the time he had climbed into bed next to her.

Alex was sound asleep himself. They had trapped her in bed, but she could slide down the bed to the foot. Careful not to wake either of them, she sank underneath the covers and she inched to the foot of the bed. She slithered out from under the covers and onto the floor.

There was one guy she could talk to about all of this as she swiped the key card to the room before she crept out to the hallway. She squinted her eyes against the low lights upon the ceiling. Held low against the black night outside there.

She adjusted the straps of her camisole before she closed the door behind her. All alone in the hallway there, she continued on towards the very end. Every time she blinked her eyes, there was that image of Alex crying. She couldn't shake the image from her mind. She had been a friend to him this whole entire time. She thought about what she had said about Aurora earlier as well. Still a friend, but she hadn't been one to her in almost a year at that point. He had more of an upper hand over that.

One other guy she knew she could visit, even when the going got tough overseas, right down the hall from them.

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brookecuzyes · 3 years ago

Text

The Captain’s Kid—

E.1: New World Order

The Falcon and The Winter Soldier FanFic

Main Masterlist — TCK Masterlist

Summary: We think of the after-life as a peaceful place. A place where there are no worries. When a girl comes back from the dead, so to speak, she has to find a new place in society— which ends up with her becoming a superhero. She’s been trained for the worst, but nothing could’ve prepared her for the things she was going to endure.

Word Count: ≈2k

Warnings: John Walker 🤢, minor cursing

A/N: The bold letters are the German translations

———————————————————————-

One Month Earlier…

“Steve represented the best in all of us: courageous, righteous… hopeful. And he mastered posing stoically.” The crowd laughed. Sam was giving a speech in Washington. Alyxandria was standing in the crowd next to James Rhodes. They were both in uniform.

“The world has been forever changed,” he continued. “A few months ago, billions of people reappeared after five years away, sending the world into turmoil. We need new heroes. One suited for the times we’re in. Symbols are nothing without the women and men who give them meaning. And this thing…” he picked up the shield, “I don’t know if there’s ever been a greater symbol. But, it’s more about the man who propped it up, and he’s gone. So, today, we honor Steve’s legacy, but also we look to the future.”

Sam turned his head to look at the poster behind him, which was Steve Rogers in the Captain America uniform. He spoke again, “Thank you, Captain America, but this belongs to you.” The crowd clapped. Alyxandria knew what was coming, and she wasn’t ready. She looked over to Rhodes; he knew it, too. Sam gave the shield to some guy with white gloves on and he took it and carefully placed it into a glass case to put it on display, with the help of another woman. And then they closed it.

Well, shit, Sam, she thought to herself.

——

“Ok, ok. I crossed a name off of my list of amends yesterday. Don’t worry, I used all your three rules. Senator Atwood; she was a HYDRA pawn for years. Helped her get into office when I was the Winter Soldier. And after HYDRA disbanded, she continued to abuse the power I gave her.”

“So, rule number one, you can’t do anything illegal.”

“All I did was give some intel to the aide to convict her, and I wasn’t involved in anything else.”

“Rule number two?”

“What was rule number two?”

“Nobody gets hurt. It’s a big one.”

“Then why isn’t it rule number one? I didn’t hurt anybody… I promise.”

“And what about rule number three?”

No answer came from Bucky. He was lost in his thoughts.

“The whole point of making amends is to fulfill rule number three.”

“You know, you’re a cynic, doc. Of course, I completed rule number three: I am no longer the Winter Soldier. I am James Bucky Barnes, and you are part of my efforts to make amends.” He finished with a smile.

“So, you did it all right, but it didn’t help with the nightmares,” Christina Raynor, James�� therapist, said.

“We’ll, like I said, I didn’t have any.” Doctor Raynor had an unsure look on her face.

“Look,” she started. “One day, you’re gonna have to open up and understand that some people really do want to help you, and that they can be trusted.”

“I trust people,” James whispered.

“Yeah? Give me your phone.” James pulled out a burner phone and gave it to Raynor. She started going through it and said, “You don’t have 10 phone numbers on this thing. Oh, and you’ve been ignoring the texts from Sam and Alyxandria— no, no, you texted her once. You said you were busy. Look, you’ve gotta nurture friendships. I am the only person you have called all week. That is so sad,” she said with finality and closed the phone, making a loud noise, and threw it back to him. “You’re alone. You’re a hundred years old. You have no history, no family-“

“Are you lashing out at me, doc?” James interrupted. He knew she was right, he just didn’t want to admit it.

“You’ve stopped fighting, James. What do you want?” Raynor asked. James stopped and thought about it for a few seconds before responding with, “Peace.”

“That is utter bullshit,” Raynor argued.

“You’re a terrible shrink.”

“I was an excellent soldier, so I saw a lot of dead bodies, and I know how that can shut you down. And if you are alone, that is the quietest, most personal hell. And, James, it is very hard to escape. Look, I know that you have been through a lot, but you’ve got your mind back, and you are being pardoned. I mean, these are good things. You’re free.”

You’re free.

James knew it, but didn’t feel it. The metal arm will forever be with him— a reminder of his past. Yori’s son was killed by the Winter Soldier, but he didn’t know that it was what happened nor did he know that the Winter Soldier was really a brainwashed James. Nothing made him feel free. He couldn’t say either. Couldn’t let someone in like that. Unfortunately, Yori set him up with the bartender at Izzy’s. He never got her name, though. That date didn’t end well. He ended up leaving after she brought up Yori and his son. James went to York’s apartment to tell him but… he just couldn’t bring himself to do it.

——

Joaquin Torres was in Switzerland. He was trying to uncover who these so-called “Flag Smashers” were. As far as he knew, they liked the way the world was during the Blip.

He got to the location that all of the Flag Smashers were supposed to meet up at, since he had some sort of app they were using. Torres stood around before going up to a guy who was present and asked, “Do you know what we’re supposed to do?” A whistle was made and everyone stopped what they were doing. The people started moving one way, towards a guy who had a duffel bag full of these masks that he gave out to everyone, including Torres. Everyone put them on when they got a notification.

Run!

A window was smashed and everyone started screaming and running. Two duffel bags full of something were thrown, and then a guy jumped out of the window. He picked up the bags and started walking. The police showed up and were there to arrest him. The guy holding the bags held them up with his arms stretched out all the way and two people ran up to him and grabbed the duffel bags out of his hands. An officer ran up to Torres and said, “You are under arrest!” but Torres shook him off and knocked him to the ground saying, “He’s getting away!” He turned around and said to the officer, “Sorry, sorry.”

That one guy was still walking and stopped when he saw an ally being attacked by a police officer. So, he kicked the officer, sending him flying into a pole. That’s when Torres ran up to him.

“Hey, hey, hey!” He screamed. He pulled out his gun and held the guy at gunpoint. “I don’t know how jurisdiction works here, but I’mma have to place you under arrest.” However, before Torres could do anything, the guy grabbed his arm and twisted it, making Joaquin yell in pain. He grabbed the gun, lifted Joaquin up, and threw him on the ground, leaving him groaning. Joaquin looked up, and the last thing he saw was a foot to his face, knocking him out and leaving him on the concrete. The guy just walked away.

——

“Alyxandria Rogers?” She turned her head. There was a woman standing there, holding a clipboard. Alyxandria got up and walked over to her. The woman walked her to where she was supposed to go:

The Oval Office.

The president wanted to discuss something with her. What was, well, Alyxandria didn’t know. She hoped that it wasn’t anything too bad…

The woman opened the door saying, “Mr. President, Ms. Rogers is here.” He got up from his desk and walked over to Alyxandria. The woman shut the door after Alyx walked in all the way. She saluted him, him being the president and all.

“At ease, Lieutenant,” he said. She lowered her hand and put both of her hands behind her back instead. “Thank you for coming, I know it was on short notice. I have a question for you.”

“Is everything okay, sir?”

“Yes, yes. As you know, Sam Wilson has recently given up the shield. Like he said in his speech, we need new heroes.” Alyx was confused but continued to listen. “America needs someone who can be a reminder of what we are.”

“I’m sorry, Mr. President, but I’m confused. Where are you getting at,” she asked, taking a small step forward.

“We’re giving the shield to someone else.”

“Excuse me, sir?”

“I know how it sounds, especially to you, but we need this. What I’m asking of you, Alyxandria,— and you can think about this— is to be the one to hand the shield to our new guy. You are Steve Rogers’ daughter, you would be the only other person who I can think of that would be impeccable for this. But, it is up to you. What do you say?”

I shouldn’t do this. I shouldn’t… it’s wrong. It's wrong.

——

“So, this is the leader of the Flag Smashers, huh?” Sam asked Joaquin, who was on a video call. Sam was watching a video Torres sent about the Flag Smashers group.

“Yeah,” Joaquin replied. “Real nice guy.”

“I thought you were supposed to be monitoring them online.” Sam said.

“I was. I did. But, you know, sometimes you gotta get your hands dirty or a broken orbital.”

“You’re lucky that’s all you got. He’s strong.”

“He was. I mean, bro, they went dark as soon as it was all over. But that’s their M.O. We just gotta keep our eyes and ears to the ground till they pop up again.”

“Anything else happen outside the video?”

“Nah, man. My face was in the dirt before I knew what was happening. Why? What are you thinking?” Sam stayed silent for a few moments before he responded, “Nothin’.” Torres looked at him curiously through the phone, knowing what could possibly be going on inside his head.

“Wait. You don’t think he could be a-“ Torres started, but was interrupted.

“Look, I’ll circle back to you. Let’s keep this between me and you, okay?”

“Alright,” Torres replied.

“Oh my god, Sam. You better look at this,” Sarah— Sam’s sister, said frantically, running in the room to turn on the TV. Sam hung up with Torres and closed the tab that was open on the computer. He turned around to see what was going on… and he couldn’t believe it.

“Unrest, in the wake of recent events, has left us vulnerable,” a man on the TV said. “Every day American feel it. While we love heroes who put their lives on the line to defend Earth, we also need a hero to defend this country. We need a real person who embodies America’s greatest values.”

That would be my father, Alyxandria thought to herself. She was standing near the front of the podium. The shield was right next to her in a case. Her heart was beating like crazy. Something doesn’t feel right about this…

“We need someone,” the man continued, “to inspire us again. Someone who can be a symbol for all of us. So, on behalf of the Department of Defense and our Commander-in-Chief, it is with great honor that we announce here today that the United States of America has a new hero. Join me in welcoming your new Captain America!” Everyone in the audience started clapping and cheering. A man walked out from behind the doors. He was in the Captain America costume, running down the stairs. He waved to the crowd for a second, when the man who had been talking shook his hand and gestured for him to go over to Alyxandria. So, he walked over to Alyx and stood in front of her with a wide smile. She unzipped the case and slowly pulled out the shield. She carefully held the shield out to this new guy and he gracefully accepted it. She saluted the man, and he too. He then walked to the front of the podium and stood there, proud of himself.

Alyxandria knew how Sam and Bucky’s faces might look right now. She knew they were going to kill her. She knew they’d think her crazy.

In all honesty, Alyx thought that she herself was crazy.

What have I done? Giving up my father’s legacy? This isn’t my place. This is wrong.

Oh, if only she knew…

———————————————————————-5/22/21

#bucky barnes #tfatws #sam wilson #captain america #sebastian stan #marvel #anthony mackie #john walker #wyatt russell #marvel oc #marvel x oc #oc character #oc #oc character x marvel #tfawts fanfic #tfawts fanfiction #tfatws oc

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mytwilightimagines13 · 5 years ago

Text

Vampire (Caius Volturi)(Part One)

Word count: 1180

“Welcome, dear. How was your flight?” a woman said as she opened the door for me. Esme Cullen, I knew. She had pale, beautiful features. Something about her heart-shaped face, her billows of soft, caramel coloured hair reminded me of the ingenues of the silent-movie era. She was small, slender, yet less angular, more rounded than the others. “Yes, ma’am. Thank you.” I said as I took my leather jacket off and hung it on the coatrack in the hallway. The house was beautiful, in the middle of the German forest. “Call me Esme, dear. Carlisle is still at the hospital, and the children are at school. They should all be home soon. Can I get you anything?” she asked as she made her way towards the kitchen. I followed shortly behind her, letting my eyes wonder in awe at the interior of the house. How nice and open it was. “I would like some water please, thank you.” I said politely as I took a seat at the bar stool in the kitchen. Esme smiled friendly at me and poured me some water. “Thank you once again for letting me stay here for my job. The apartments near the theatre are way too high in price for me.” I said as I gratefully took a sip of the water. “It is our pleasure dear. Besides, Carlisle and I have a love for the musical theatre. And we cannot wait to watch you perform. Besides, it will be the first time that a woman will be playing the part of death in Elisabeth, well apart from the version form the all-female theatre group of course.” She said as she leaned on the bar across from me. “Yes, I am very excited. It is only a bummer that some fans of the musical are against it.” I said, frowning at my glass, remembering the comments I had received once the news was shared of my participation in the musical. Some fans ought it to be wrong for Elisabeth to be seduced by a female death. “People keep forgetting that Death doesn’t have a gender. So I do not know why so many people are bothered by it. But it is their loss, they will be missing out on a spectacular musical.” Esme said as she gently placed a hand on my lower arm. I gasped slightly at the ice cold temperature. Esme pulled her hand away quickly and shot me an apologetic smile. “I am sorry, I forget how cold my hands can get at times.” She said as she gently folded her arms in front of her chest. “No, no problem. It just took me off guard, that is all.” I said, giving her a gentle smile before taking another sip of my water.

Esme and I kept talking for about another hour when the sound of the door opening made us halt our conversation. Many excited voices soon entered the room, yet they halted when their eyes landed on me. I turned around and studied the seven people whom had just entered. Every single one of them must have been between 17 and 20 years old, and every single one of them more beautiful than the last. They could have easily stepped out of the paintings of the angels by Francesco Solimena. But the one peculiar thing I noticed, well apart from their godlike features, where their eyes. Every single one of them had these caramel golden eyes, well everyone except one. Only one of them had eyes that were a different colour, a warm chocolate brown. Esme smiled warmly at her adopted children and walked from behind the bar to greet them. “Welcome home. How was school?” she asked, waiting politely for an answer. “It was fine, Esme. Same old still.” The man on the left side said. His facial features were perfect and angular—high cheekbones, a strong jawline, perfect eyebrows, a straight nose and full lips. His untidy hair was an unusual bronze shade and he stood at 6'2", with a thin and lanky but muscular body. “Children, this is (Y/N). Like Carlisle and I told you before, she is a niece of mine and she will be staying here for about a year, while the newest production of Elisabeth das musical takes place in Berlin.” Esme said as she addressed me. I smiled politely at them. “Hello everyone. I am truly grateful that I am allowed to stay here.” I said. Many of them smiled politely back, all but one. The tall and statuesque woman glared at me. She had a beautiful figure, the kind you saw on the cover of the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue, the kind that made every girl around her take a hit on her self-esteem just by being in the same room. Her hair was golden, gently waving to the middle of her back. She rolled her eyes and walked out of the kitchen and I heard her walk up the stairs. “My apologies for Rose, she doesn’t handle strangers very well.” One of the males said with an apologetic smile. He was very tall and big-muscled like a serious weight lifter, with dark curly hair. He shot me one more apologetic smile before following Rose upstairs.

After meeting the other Cullens, and soon after that the head of the family, dr Carlisle Cullen, Esme made me and Renesmee, the only one of the family with chocolate brown eyes, dinner. It was a simple pasta dish, yet it was delicious. Esme had insisted on cooking for me, and keeping up with my special diet. Normally I wasn’t someone who kept a strict diet, but for my role in the musical I needed the right amount of calories and proteins, to keep my muscles strong during the performance.

After dinner, Esme showed me my new room. It was large and spacious, with many windows. A large queen size bed was placed in the middle against a wall in between two large windows that lead to a balcony. The walls where painted a nice, calming red, and a desk, chair, stereo, tv and closet finished the room completely.

“If there is anything you are missing, do not hesitate to ask us. We want you to be as comfortable as possible.” Esme said, smiling kindly at me once more. I returned her smile widely.

“I am fine, this is more than I could wish for. Thank you once more.” I said as I gently sat down on the large bed, feeling it’s softness seep through, making me realise how tired I was as a yawn escaped my mouth.

“My apologies, I guess I am more exhausted than I initially anticipated.” I said, looking at my black sneakers. Esme giggled softly, a sound that sounded like soft bells in the wind.

“Please, get some rest. I am sure you have another long day of rehearsal tomorrow. Goodnight, my dear.” Esme said before leaving the room.

“Goodnight, Esme.” I said before quickly getting ready for bed and burying myself in the large and thick bedsheets.

#Caius Volturi #imagine #volturi imagine #twilight imagine #cullen #volturi

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lu-undy · 4 years ago

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A lil sad request: spy gets hurt on the battlefield like really hurt and he’s rushed to medic bay afterwards. And sniper not allowed to see him so he gets really worried and starts venting to demo that he might not ever see him again and he that blaming himself for lu getting injured. Only to have Interrupted by spy in cast who is very disappointed that mundy thinks he could killed so easily-

Here we go, a worried lil’ Aussie bloke :) Hope you like it!

"They've been in there for hours, can't I see him? I just want to see him!"

"Nyet."

Heavy was standing in front of the door to Medic's lab. His German friend had instructed him not to let anyone in, especially not Sniper.

"Ugh, mate, please…"

"Nyet."

Sniper sighed and his shoulders sank. Heavy stood like a wall between him and Medic's lab.

"Is there anything I can do for you to let me in?"

Heavy shook his head.

"Wanker…" Sniper turned his back and went away.

Spy had been quite severely injured right at the end of the round so respawn did not fix it. All Sniper knew about it was what he saw of the incident. Spy was escaping the enemy Soldier and wanted to jump to a lower level of the map. However, Soldier had shot a rocket, making Spy jump higher than he had anticipated and he landed unconscious right at Sniper's feet as the Administrator announced their victory.

Well, what is a victory when Spy's body was unconscious and covered in blood in Sniper's arms?

Nothing is what it was, nothing, and certainly not a victory.

Sniper went back to the base. He thought that a bit of time with his colleagues might manage to distract him from his worries about his lover. He sat on the couch in the living-room next to Demo and Soldier who were watching some American football on TV.

"Hey, lad, fancy a beer?" Demo handed him a bottle but Sniper shook his head. "Is it Spy?" Demo asked, seeing his friend's distraught blue eyes behind the aviator glasses.

"Yeah…"

"No! He missed it!" Soldier shouted at the screen and both Sniper and Demo got startled.

"C'mere, lad. You need a good chat." Demo stood up and pulled Sniper to follow him. He dragged him outside and they sat on the edge of the van, at the back, on the small step there. "So, what's wrong?"

"He's still with Medic and I'm… I'm worried, ok?"

"Yeah, I can see that. But don't you worry, I'm sure the doc' will fix him!"

"Yeah, well…"

Demo squinted at Sniper.

"The doc' always fixes us, why d'you still worry?"

"I don't know… When he crashed next to me, I - it was terrible. His face was pale, more pale than usual but he was covered in blood and worst of all, he was completely unconscious. But what scares me now is that the doc' never spends that long with anyone, even when we break our bones… I can't help thinkin' something seriously bad has happened."

Demo put a hand on Sniper's shoulder but the Aussie kept his head lowered, staring at his boots and the orange, dusty ground of the desert.

"Have you tried to ask Medic?" Demo asked.

"I tried, but Heavy's at the door and he won't let me in…"

"Ah, yeah, well… D'you want me to go and ask? Maybe he'll let me go in?"

Sniper's face brightened.

"Y-yeah, please, ask him how Spy's doing and uh, how much longer before I see him, and ask him if-"

"Wow, wow, lad, calm down, eh?" Demo chuckled. "I'll do it all. Now, you stay here and," Demo stood up. "Ye don't move, alright?"

Sniper nodded excitedly and he rested his chin on his palms, waiting for Demo to come back. The poor Aussie couldn't help taking a look at his watch every so often. He was naturally patient, but Spy had changed him a bit in that regard.

Well, Spy had changed him a lot. First, he loved him back, and that was the biggest change in Sniper's life for a few decades at least. He wasn't one to go around wooing ladies or gents. He didn't like the whole process of dating. Having ideas where to take the person, getting ready for it, preparing everything and half of the time, ending up being stood up. Nah… He didn't like it. The way Sniper usually did it was in pubs. After a couple of drinks, no one is shy anymore and sheilas are easier to get and less picky. He'd play the solitary hunter who lives in a van and boom, as easy as a headshot, he'd find himself someone to spend the night with.

But that was about it. The next morning, they would be gone and wouldn't want more of him. Hell, to be honest, neither did he. How could you want more from someone that you just know the body of?

Spy had broken that habit - or that curse. Sniper couldn't exactly recall how it happened but they got to know each other and spend more and more time with each other without it feeling like dates per se. They would show up in their Mann Co. uniforms and decide what to do on the spur of the moment. Spy showed him a few good movies, not always the kind that Sniper had expected him to like. He would reciprocate by showing him the stars at night and commenting at length on the godly night blanket under which Sniper slept.

Not anymore, eh. They had started sleeping together and as curious as it had seemed for both of them, they had started by just sleeping. Sniper found it odd that Spy wouldn't be more forward but on his side of things, Spy just wanted that: some company. Sniper eventually understood it and they spent the sweetest nights with the most pleasant of dreams. They were living the dream, sleeping in each other's arms, one spooning the other, or one using the other's shoulder as a pillow, their limbs entangled. And they would wake up to hums, kisses and happy moans.

Sniper sighed and he grinned without realising it. He was in love with the Frenchman in a way that was so different, so pure, that it almost seemed childish.

Of course, they had their needs and as such, they would indulge each other when they weren't too tired. Sniper had learnt a lot throughout the torrid nights with Spy. He had learnt about it as a general concept but also about himself. Spy showed him a lot without maybe knowing it. But now Sniper knew. He was lovable, his scars, bites and claw marks weren't a problem, his lack of Australia-shaped chest hair wasn't an issue at all and none of it made him less of a man. No, as it turned out, Spy showed extensively how much he loved them all, how he treasured every bit of his lover's body. And in his turn, Sniper had reciprocated.

"Sniper?"

Demo's voice broke Sniper's daydreaming.

"So, you saw him?"

"Nah, Heavy didn't let me in but he went to ask and Medic said you could go and see for yerself."

"Oh, I'll go then, thanks, mate."

"No problem, lad."

Sniper almost ran to Medic's quarters. Heavy had disappeared from the front door. He gave a knock and Medic answered.

"Yes, Sniper, come in."

"Hey, uh, can I see him?"

Medic nodded.

"Yes, you may. But-"

Sniper didn't wait for the end of the sentence and opened the door to the room Spy was in.

"Spook?"

Distress flashed across Sniper's face as he realised that the room was empty.

"Where is he?" He entered.

"Right behind you." The suave voice with the French accent answered and when Sniper turned and saw him, he threw himself at the injured man, squeezing him in a tight hug.

"Oh my God, you got me worried so much!"

"B-Bushman! Too strong, too strong!"

"Ah, sorry…" Sniper relaxed his hug and took a second to take in the view of Spy in his suit and - oh, a cast on his leg?

"I have to keep it for a few days." Spy said, seeing that Sniper had noticed. "But I have to go and see Medic everyday for it until I remove it."

"Oh, ok… Does it still hurt?"

"A bit, but much less than a few hours ago."

"Gosh, I missed you so much, love…"

Spy softened and let go of the crutches he was holding. They fell on the floor. He cupped Sniper's face with a tender smile.

"I can see that on your face. But did you really think something that bad had happened?"

"Yeah, I mean, you were there for hours…"

"Because I argued with Medic."

"What?"

"Can we sit down please? Resting on one leg is quite painful."

"S-sure."

They took a seat on the chairs in the room.

"Oui, I argued with him because he wanted me to stay here day and night."

"Why didn't you accept? If he thinks it's best for you then do it."

"And be nailed to this room without you for days? Non, I refused. And it took us a bit of quarrelling before we agreed on this solution." Spy pointed at the cast.

"Oh… I see."

"Demoman came and told me you were worried to the bone."

"Y-yeah, a bit." Sniper blushed and averted his gaze. Spy bent forward and took his lover's hand.

"Do you think me that weak? After all we have been through already in this God forsaken company?"

"N-no, nah, I mean…"

Medic opened the door and interrupted them.

"Now that the princess is rescued from her castle, do you mind leaving so that I can disinfect the place? Or maybe you changed your mind Spy, and you want to stay after all?" He taunted.

"My leg is in a cast, but my hands are not and I can still use a knife or a gun, Medic." Spy stood up and caught the crutches that Medic threw at him. He walked to the man in the labcoat. "If I were you, I would watch my tongue." He added threateningly.

"Uh, thanks doc'." Sniper said to ease the atmosphere.

"My absolute pleasure and delight…" Medic sarcastically added. "Always a pleasure to tend to a rotten spoilt child's wounds…"

Spy turned and was about to answer but Sniper dragged him out and in a few minutes, they were back in Spy's smoking-room.

"D'you want something? You hungry? Maybe a glass of water?"

Spy smiled.

"I may be injured but I am not crippled yet, so if I need anything, I am still capable of fetching it myself."

Sniper blushed.

"Sorry, I didn't want to offend you…"

"You didn't. Come next to me, please."

They sat side by side on the sofa.

"Please put the show that you like on TV."

"You want to watch it?" Sniper grabbed the remote and turned the TV screen on.

"Oui." Spy leaned his head on Sniper's shoulder and threw away his gloves and his balaclava.

"Thought you hated it."

"Not more than being away from you for hours." Spy's hand found Sniper's and he held it dearly. "I… I missed you too, Sniper."

Sniper's blush went to his ears and he looked down at Spy. He looked gorgeous… The Aussie wrapped his arm around him and pulled him close.

"Love you, Spook."

"So do I."

Sniper's eyes were back on the screen when he felt a peck land shyly on his cheek before Spy's head settled on his shoulder.

#tf2 sniper #tf2 spy #sniperspy

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techtiger · 4 years ago

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The Role Of Voice Recognition Technology In AI And Machine Learning.

Speech recognition technology is something that has been dreamed of and worked on for many decades.

From the beep-bopping of R2-D2 in Star Wars to Samantha's dissatisfied but charming voice, science fiction writers have played a big role in shaping expectations and predictions about how speech recognition will be in our world...

However, for all advances in modern technology, voice control is a very sophisticated relationship.

It is felt to be historically helplessly clear and nothing but a novelty to simplify our lives. That is until we start to get more into the field of big data, intensive learning, machine learning, and AI technology. Similarly, text to speech is a technology similar to voice recognition that converts digital text into voice. Text to speech technology makes computer to read text aloud from the text document. There are many best free text to speech software that you can use to let your device read for you without looking at the text.

Voice Recognition: A Brief History

As with any technology, what we know today comes from nowhere, someone and someone else.

The first recorded attempt at speech recognition technology was in 1,000 AD. However, the tool that can answer direct questions “yes” or “no” comes back through development.

Although the experiment does not technically involve voice processing in any form, the idea behind it must be part of the foundation of speech recognition technology: the use of natural language as an input to speed up the action.

Centuries later, Bell Laboratories worked to develop "Audrey", which could detect vowel-speaking numbers 1-9.

Later, IBM developed a device that could detect and distinguish 16 spoken words.

These successes have greatly enhanced the dominance of technology companies focusing on speech-related technologies. The Department of Defense also wanted to join the action. Researchers are working steadily toward the goal of making machines more capable of comprehending and responding to our verbal commands.

The history of speech recognition technology is long and winding. However, today’s speech systems such as Google Voice, Amazon Alexa, Microsoft Cortana, and Apple’s Siri are not where they are today, there are no early pioneers.

Thanks to the integration of new technologies such as cloud-based processing and ongoing data collection projects, these speech systems have improved the ability to constantly hear and understand a wide variety of words, languages , and voices.

At this rate, the predictions of future writers are not as far-fetched as we might think.

The Voice Recognition Process: How Does It Work?

Around smartphones, smart cars, smart home appliances, voice assistants, and more, it's easy to know how speech recognition technology works.

Why?

Because it is easy to be misled by digital assistants. Speech recognition is still very complicated.

Think about how a child learns a language.

From day one, they hear the words used around them. Parents talk to their child, and even if the child does not respond, they perceive all kinds of sound signals; Noise, reflection, and pronunciation; Their brain designs and makes connections based on how their parents use their language.

Although it may seem difficult for humans to hear and understand, we train all our lives to develop this so-called natural ability.

Speech recognition technology essentially works the same way. Although humans have improved our process, we have yet to identify the best practices for computers. We must train them in the same way that our parents and teachers trained us. In addition, this type of training requires vision, research, and manpower.

These speech recognition systems take longer and more field data to complete; Thousands of languages, voices, and dialects need to be considered.

To say that we have not made progress; As of May 2017, Google's machine learning algorithm has now achieved a 95% word accuracy rate for the English language. This current rate is a limit to human accuracy, take care of yourself.

What is the best voice assistant?

So far, we have all heard and/or used speech recognition systems; They entered the technological ecosystem to become a means of communication between humans and technology.

Voice input is a more efficient form of computing, as Mary Meeker said in her annual Internet Trends report: Humans can speak an average of 150 words per minute, but can only type 40. Farewell texting and push buttons - we're so busy now bus.

What has become the dominant form of computing is that speech recognition is unbelievable. In addition to regional accents and speech impediments, background noise can make word recognition difficult. Not to mention multiple-voice input.

In other words, recognizing sounds alone is not enough.

These speech recognition systems must be able to distinguish between homophones (words that sound the same but mean something different), to distinguish proper names from separate words ("Tim Cook" is an individual, not merely a search request for a cook called Tim), and more.

Ultimately, speech recognition accuracy determines whether or not they become voice assistants. It certainly answers the question of which voice assistants are the best on the market right now; In terms of speech accuracy, innovation and usability, and compatibility with other smart systems.

Apple’s Siri

Apple's Siri was the first voice assistant launched by mainstream tech companies in 2011.

Since then, it has been integrated into all iPhones, iPods, Apple Watch, Homepod, Mac computers, and Apple TVs.

Through your phone, Siri is being used as a major user interface for automobiles and wireless AirPods earbuds in Apple's Carplay infotainment system.

With the release of Sirikit, a development tool that allows third-party companies to integrate with Siri and HomePod‌, Apple's initiative Intelligent Speaker (after the success of Amazon Echo and Google Home), voice assistant capabilities Become strong.

There is always Siri with you, whether on the road, at home or even literally on your body. This gives Apple a big advantage in terms of adoption.

Although Apple has a big head when it comes to Siri, many users are frustrated by the inability of the device to understand and execute voice commands.

Naturally, being as quick as possible means getting too many errors for a function that does not work as well as the function.

But, to this day Siri is notorious for misinterpreting voice orders, even by providing a list of nearby liquor stores to respond to requests for help with alcohol poisoning.

If you ask Siri to send you a text message or call on your behalf, it can be done easily. However, when it comes to communicating with third-party apps, Siri is slightly less powerful than its rivals, working with only six types of apps: ride-hailing and sharing; Message and call; Photo search; Payment; Fitness; And auto infotainment system.

Why?

Because Apple advises that "users should not use voice commands without human experience, and what can be done to ensure that Siri works well". Is ", Reuters reports.

Siri will open any ride service app on your iPhone and you can book on the go. Gives you options like traveling to the airport and ordering a car.

Focusing on the system capability of follow-up questions, language translation, and re-incorporation of Siri's voice into a more human-Esque will definitely help to iron out the voice assistant's user experience.

In addition, Apple controls its rivals by country in terms of availability and thus makes sense of the slang of a foreign accent. Siri is available in more than 30 countries and over 20 languages - and, in some cases, many different dialects.

By comparison, Google Home is only available in seven countries and can only speak four languages 'simply' (English, German, French and Japanese), although it does support multiple versions of some languages. Alexa, on the other hand, can only handle English (U.S. and U.K.) and German.

Amazon Alexa

Inside Amazon's smash-hit Amazon Echo smart speakers, as well as the newly released Echo Show (voice-controlled tablet) and Echo Spot (voice-controlled alarm clock), Alexa is one of the most popular voice assistants today.

While Apple focuses on areas where it has the capacity and expertise to meet its needs, Amazon does not impose such restrictions on Alexa.

Instead, a voice assistant with a lot of "skills" (the term for applications on your Echo Assist devices) will "get the reliable following, even if they make occasional mistakes and are easy to use." Will try harder ".

Although some users have set Alexa's word recognition rate as a shadow behind other voice platforms, the good news is that Alexa will adapt to your voice over time with those with your unique voice or dialect. The problem can also be solved.

In terms of skills, Amazon's Alexa Skill Kit (ASK) probably pushed Alexa into a bonafide platform. ASK allows third-party developers to create applications and tap into Alexa's power without local support.

With over 30,000 skills and growing, Alexa has integrated Siri, Google Voice, and Cortana in terms of third-party integration. With the incentive to "add voice to your big ideas and more customers" (not to mention the ability to build for free in the cloud, "no coding knowledge required"), it's no surprise that developers are putting content on the skills platform. To

While some may not be able to help draw parallels with Apple's Appstore, it's catching the attention of developers trying to keep content - any content - on their platform regardless of whether it's worthwhile or not.

Its integration with smart home devices such as cameras, door locks, entertainment systems, lighting, and thermostats is another big selling point for Alexa.

Lastly, give users complete control over their home whether they are in bed or on the move. With Amazon's Smart Home Skill API (another third-party developer tool similar to ASK), you'll be able to control devices connected to customers from millions of Alexa-enabled endpoints.

When you ask Siri to add something to your shopping list, she adds it to your shopping list - without actually buying for you. Alexa goes one step further though.

If you ask Alexa to re-order her debris bags, she will go through Amazon and order them. You can order millions of Amazon products without lifting a finger; Natural and unique ability to surpass Alexa's rivals.

Microsoft’s Cortana

Based on the artificially intelligent role of the 26th century in the Halo video game series, Cortana launched in 2014 as part of Windows Phone 8.1, the next major update to Microsoft's mobile operating system.

At the end of 2017, Microsoft announced that its speech recognition system had reached an error rate of 5.1%. It surpassed the 5.9% error rate reached by a team of researchers from Microsoft Artificial Intelligence and Research in October 2016 and keeps its accuracy on par with professional human transcription, with benefits such as the ability to hear text multiple times.

In this race, every inch is important; When Microsoft announced its 5.9% accuracy rate at the end of 2016, they were ahead of Google. However, the fastest-moving year surpasses Google - but only 0.2%.

While percentages and accuracy rates are important, Cortana distinguishes itself from other voice assistants based on real, human-assisted assistants.

Rival services dig into data from devices, your search history, cookie trails you left on the Internet. While this is often useful, it can also be annoying in the form of non-stop notifications or it can scare the smart system into knowing too much about you.

We all saw 2001: the mother of all sensitive computers, the HAL 9000, was murdered with her pale red-eye and soft-butter robot voice.

To prevent this, Microsoft spoke with several high-level personal assistants, all of whom found that they had notebooks with important information about the person they were looking at. It was this simple idea that prompted Microsoft to create a virtual "notebook" for Cortana that would store personal information and anything Cortana approved for viewing and use.

It's not a privacy control panel, but it's exactly what Cortana does and gives you a little more control over what's not accessible.

For example, if you are not comfortable with Cortana accessing your email, you can add or remove access to your notebook. Another special feature? Cortana always asks you if she stores any information in her notebook.

Microsoft has teamed up with Halo developers on visual themes as well as voice actress Jane Taylor for Cortana's voice. These elements bring Cortana to life and form the personality and emotion to a system that would not have happened without that cooperation. Cortana’s personality shines through in everyday use - along with funny reactions from her circuit boards.

In addition to Google Assistant and Google Search, Cortana is supported by Microsoft's Bing search engine. This allows Cortana to chew up the data needed to answer your burning questions.

And, like Amazon, Microsoft has come up with its own home smart speaker, the Invoque, which performs many of the functions of its rival devices. As soon as Microsoft hits the market there is another big advantage - Cortana is available on all Windows computers and mobiles running Windows 10.

Google Assistant

One of the most common responses to a question these days is "LMGTFY". In other words, "Google me".

This only makes sense when Google Assistant talks about answering (and understanding) any questions.

From asking to translate a phrase into another language, to change the number of butter columns to one cup, Google Assistant not only provides the correct answer but also provides some additional context and source information for the website This suggests that Google's powerful search technology supports it, perhaps with a surprising exception.

Although Amazon's Alexa was released two years ago (via the Echo introduction) than Google Home, Google has made significant progress in capturing Alexa in a very short period of time. Google Home was released in late 2016, and within a year, it had already established itself as Alexa's most meaningful rival.

By the end of 2017, Google had stated a 95% word accuracy rate for American English; Currently the highest of all voice-assistants. It turns out to have a word error rate of 4.9% - Google is the first in the group to fall below the 5% limit.

While some have tried to strike back at Amazon, Google has released several similar products for Amazon. For example, Google Home is reminiscent of Amazon's Echo and Amazon Echo Dot's Google Home Mini.

Recently, Google announced some new, important partnerships with Lenovo, LG, and Sony to launch a series of assistant-powered "smart displays" that will once again resemble Amazon's Echo Show.

Nuance’s Dragon Assistant and Dragon Naturally Speaking.

Although Nance did not come with a smart home speaker, their Dragon Assistant, and Dragon natural speech systems have been used as the backbone of speech recognition for other technology companies. "I need to be able to talk without touching my phone," said Vlad Sejonha, chief technology officer at Nance Communications. "It's constantly listening for trigger words and pop up the calendar or create a text message or browser where you want to navigate".

Nance's voice-recognition technology is largely centered around speech systems in the car; Embedded dictation capability and bringing interactive information to the car.

“Another development involves a deeper level of understanding,” says Nance’s lead solution architect John West.

West argues, "Here, the goal is not just to identify speech, but to gather meaning and purpose that enables voice-driven systems to respond intelligently, in a way that meets the needs of the user."

What is the best voice assistant?

Here's what we know

With over 400 million devices using Google Assistant, including Google Home speakers and Android phones, the company's voice assistant is now installed on more than 400 million computers and devices.

Similarly, Microsoft has officially stated that Windows 10 has 400 million active users; Exclude mobiles running a single system.

Since Amazon’s Alexa is only available on their Echo speakers, this number will definitely reduce the number of dwarves competing against Alexa.

On the other hand, with over 300 million iPhones worldwide by mid-2001, Siri took advantage of this space - not to mention the number of people who owned an Apple Watch, MacBook, or iPad.

With the support of millions of pre-existing users for the tech giants mentioned above, a simple software update is needed to integrate their post-voice assistants worldwide.

For example, people with Google's Pixel phones will be part of the Google Ecosystem. They are more likely to invest in Google Home Speaker, so they can get entangled with YouTube, Google Search, Google Maps, and more. Apple, Amazon, and Microsoft users are the same, without the least repetition of what ecosystem and what products they spend on.

It may depend on the use case.

After all, there is no one-size-fits-all winner when it comes to voice assistants.

If you like the Apple-consumer, Siri and its wide distribution across all Apple products will help you.

If you want to make your home a smart home, Alexa already has thousands of software and hardware integrations ready.

If you've been looking for a helper who can answer all your weird and amazing questions, Google Assistant's search engine will find the rest. If you want a little more control over what information your digital assistant has access to, Microsoft's Cortana has that functionality.

Collaboration that sets the bar high

The recently announced partnership between Microsoft and Amazon on August 30, 2017, is the real deal-breaker here.

This is correct. Alexa and Cortana are officially working together. Since both companies do not have popular smartphones (unlike Google and Apple), they have changed their assistants to suit their strengths.

Users can say "Alexa, Open Cortana" on their Echo devices and "Open Cortana, Alexa" on their Windows 10 devices.

Alexa customers will be able to remember Cortana's special features, such as booking meetings or accessing work calendars, picking flowers, or read your work email on your way home.

Similarly, Cortana customers can ask Alexa to control their smart home devices, shop on Amazon.com, and communicate with more than 30,000 skills built by third-party developers.

Therefore, in terms of voice-activation and digital assistants leading this new industry, Amazon definitely takes the cake.

The company not only supports the creation of other voice-activated technologies through their ASK and Smart Home APIs, but they are also the original inventors to create a smart home speaker with a smart home speaker and screen.

In other words, they are moving faster (and moving forward) than their rivals, all of which are new by continuing to share.

Speech Recognition in-Car

Voice-activated devices and digital voice assistants not only make things easier.

It’s also about safety - at least when it comes to speech recognition in the car.

Companies like Apple, Google, and Nance are completely changing the driver experience in their vehicles; Allows drivers to focus on the road with the intention of eliminating the distraction of looking down on their mobile phones while they drive.

Instead of texting while driving, you can now tell who to call your car to or which restaurant to navigate.

Instead of scrolling through Apple Music to find your favorite playlist, you can ask Siri to find and play it for you.

If your car is running low on fuel, your speech system will not only let you know if your car needs refueling but also point to the nearest fuel station and ask if you have any specific brands. Priority to this

Or you can be warned that the petrol station of your choice is too far to reach with the rest of the fuel.

As advantageous as it may seem in the ideal scenario, speech technology in a car is dangerous if applied before high-speed accuracy. The study found that voice-activated technology in cars actually causes a higher level of cognitive distraction. This is because it is as new as technology; Engineers are still working on software kinks.

But, as rate speech recognition technology and artificial intelligence are improving, we can’t stay behind the wheel in a few years.

Speech Recognition Apps and Devices

Voice assistants are making a big difference in our personal lives, according to a recent study by Voice Labs that 30% of respondents cite smart home devices as the main reason for investing in Amazon Echo or Google Home.

This next generation of 'communication' technology provides users with a way to use the clumsy remote control interface.

Therefore, it allows consumers to talk and communicate with their electronics as they further increase the ease of human use and reduce the barrier to access to technology products.

Engineers must work hard to create an abundance of voice-controlled devices that can integrate with the voice technology of leading digital assistants; From appliances and safety devices to thermostats and alarm systems.

Nest, for example, is a company that invests capital in the new voice-technology frontier. “Your smart home should not be dumb,” the company said.

With the Nest Thermostat, you can use the Amazon Echo to control the temperature in your home with simple voice commands. Or, pre-order the Nest Hello Video Doorbell and get the Google Home Mini at no cost when shipping. From alarm systems to smoke and carbon monoxide alarms, Nest Protect thinks, speaks, and warns your device.

Bringing these voice assistants to the office in future applications of speech recognition, beyond the home.

In late 2017, Amazon announced new voice-activated tools for the office, hoping that verbal commands such as "Alexa, Print My Spreadsheet" would extend to normal office tasks. Microsoft's Cortana has begun to handle some other office tasks, such as scheduling meetings, recording meeting minutes, and arranging travel.

Today, only a handful of high-ranking officials have their own personal assistants. With the introduction of AI digital assistants in the workplace, everyone can be one.

To access the company's financial data from last week to last year, please ask your Google Assistant to create a graph showing the year's increase in click-through rates - there are many uses for implementing Digital-Assistant in the workplace.

Think about it - just like electronic computers, voice can go manually through the files on your computer so that paper records can be easily changed shortly before.

Video Games with Voice Control

In these use cases, speech recognition techniques have been implemented with the aim of simplifying our lives, which is also evolving in other areas. Namely, in the gaming industry.

Creating video games is already exceptionally difficult.

Plots, gameplay, character development, customizable gear, lottery systems, worlds, etc. can take years to display properly. Not only that, the game can change and adapt based on the actions of each player.

Now, imagine adding another level to gaming with Speech Recognition technology.

Many companies that create this idea do so with the intention of making gaming more accessible to those who are visually and/or physically challenged, as well as immersing players further in the gameplay by launching another layer of integration.

Voice control can reduce the learning curve for beginners, with less emphasis on recognizing controls; The player can start talking immediately.

In other words: it can now be very challenging for game developers to collect hundreds (if not thousands) of voice data, speech technology integration, testing, and coding to keep their international audience.

However, despite all the goals that tech companies are shooting and overcoming challenges, there are already video games that believe the benefits outweigh the barriers.

Even mobile games and apps are now capable of using voice-activation in addition to the classic console and PC versions. Seaman, starring Leonard Nimoy as a sarcastic man-fish, debuted in the late 1990s, and Mass Effect 3, released in 2012, is just the latest example of speech technology in video games.

What is our history, where are we going?

Speech recognition has made major advances in the last decade; it's been 1,000 years in the voice technology market. Magic eight ball to today.

The intense level of competition we see among these tech giants in the industry and the growing trend of companies creating materials in space indicates that we still have a long way to go.

#voice recognition technology #voice recognition software #using speech recognition

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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The Sopranos’ Funniest Moments

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The Sopranos’ genius was in telling structured stories with well-established themes, while still aping life in all its dirty, disorganised, contradictory, open-ended glory. The show wasn’t a drama, or a comedy, or a tragedy, or a farce. It was all of them. It was none of them. It was life.

Creator David Chase and his crack team of writers never lost sight of the essential truth that no matter how cruel, harrowing or horrid life becomes, it’s always laced through with laughs: oftentimes the laughter and the horror rise in tandem.

Here, then, are some of The Sopranos’ funniest moments, most of them enmeshed with the macabre, the monstrous and the melancholy.

South of the Border

S1, E9 ‘Boca’

In the machismo-drenched world of the mafia, even going down on your girlfriend is seen as a sign of sexual weakness, and quite possibly – in the non-PC words of Uncle Junior himself – ‘a sign that you’re a fanouk.’

Apparently, ‘they’ think ‘if you’ll suck p***y, you’ll suck anything.’

Whoever ‘they’ are.

News of Uncle Junior’s oral talents reaches Tony from a gossip chain, the final link in which is Carmella. Tony’s reaction, and the way in which he baits Uncle Junior with the intel on the golf course (culminating in Tony singing ‘South of the Border, down Mexico way’) is equal parts childish to hilarious – but funniest of all is how this schoolboy teasing serves as the pre-cursor to a Mafia war.

As Tony later tells Carmella: ‘Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this.’

Guess Whose Back?

S1, E10 ‘A Hit is a Hit’

Christopher sets Adrianna up in a recording studio to help realise her dream of becoming a music mogul. Things don’t go well. Her new band – the woeful Visiting Day – is ready to walk after a long and soul-sapping session during which they’ve produced nothing of worth. Christopher wastes no time taking up the mantle of manager to convince them that the show must go on. It’s fair to say that being motivational doesn’t come naturally to Christopher. Or, rather, it does, it’s just that his methods of motivation are rather more violent than most. First, Christopher throws the ex-addict lead singer a bag of crystal meth and orders him to take it. When that doesn’t work, he takes the only reasonable course of action left open to him and smashes a guitar over the man’s back.

There’s No Place Like Home

S2,E4 ‘Commendatori’

Paulie is incredibly excited to be visiting the motherland, and arrives full of romantic notions about Italy. All of these are systematically stamped out, mostly by Paulie himself, of whom an Italian gangster remarks at dinner, after Paulie requests tomato ketchup for his spaghetti: ‘And you thought the Germans were classless pieces of shit.’

Paulie’s beatific little smile as he drinks in the squalor of New Jersey on the ride home from the airport is pitch perfect.

It’s the Jaaaccckkeett!

S2,E8 ‘Full Leather Jacket’

From the moment Richie Aprile is released from prison he’s on a collision course with Tony. In classic Sopranos’ style, though, the torch paper isn’t lit by Richie shacking up with Tony’s sister, or paralysing their mutual friend Beansie, but by the fall-out from a spurned jacket. Not just any jacket, though: ‘the’ jacket; the one Richie took off Rocco di Meo after an adolescent scrap.

‘Cocksucker had the toughest reputation in Essex County, but he never came back after I got through with him,’ Richie tells Tony, as he gifts him the infamous garment.

‘He later died of Alzheimer’s,’ adds Junior.

The look on Tony’s face as he tries to look grateful for ‘the jacket’ is almost as funny as the look Richie later wears in Carmella’s kitchen when he notices the sainted jacket hanging from the shoulders of the maid’s husband.

I Ain’t Afraid of No Ghost

S2, E9 ‘From Where to Eternity’

When Christopher briefly dies on the operating table after an assassination attempt, he returns from the brink of death with visions and dispatches from the afterlife. Paulie takes these reports to heart, divining in them a supernatural threat. Not only does Christopher tell Paulie that the souls of his many victims still follow him everywhere he goes, he also brings back an oblique warning: ‘Three o’clock’.

This cryptic curse has Paulie slamming bolt upright in his bed each night with a scream on his lips. First he visits Tony, who tries to lead Paulie back to sanity.

‘You eat steak?’ Tony asks.

‘What the fuck you talkin’ about?’

‘If you were in India, you would go to hell for that.’

‘I’m not in India,’ says Paulie. ‘What do I give a fuck?’

‘That’s what I’m trying to tell you. None of this shit means a goddamn thing.’

Unconvinced, Paulie visits a spiritualist psychic, who ‘confirms’ that Paulie is being stalked by ghosts. ‘That’s satanic black magic!’ rails a terrified Paulie, ‘Sick shit’, before hurling a chair at the ‘ghosts’ and screaming ‘Fuckin’ qu***s!’ at them. Finally, he visits his priest to tell him he’s cutting off his donations to the church on the grounds that he should’ve been protected from hauntings. I defy you not to chuckle at the baleful glare Paulie gives the Virgin Mary on his way out of the church.

A Very Un-woke Wake

S3, E2 ‘Proshai , Livushka’

Livia Soprano – Tony’s murderously manipulative mother – proved just as divisive in death as she was in life, her demise precipitating a wake that was as awkward and corrosive for the characters experiencing it as it was rich and funny for us schmucks at home.

Tony never wanted any of Janice’s ‘California Bullshit’ at the gathering he and Carmella hosted at their home (or ‘that house, up on that hill’, as Livia would have called it). Janice being Janice, though, vetoes her brother’s ruling. She asks each of the assembled guests to share a thought, a memory of their mother, which – given that Livia was a sharp-tongued, anti-social harridan – doesn’t produce heart-warming results. No wonder the unknown man descending the stairs in the background behind them all decides to about-turn and get the hell out of there.

‘She never minced words,’ says Hesch, trying his hardest to accentuate the positive, ‘Between… brain and mouth… there was no interlocutor.’

Movies

The Sopranos: saluting the greatest TV drama ever made

By Jamie Andrew

The Sopranos: Explaining the Final Scene

By Jamie Andrew

Christopher’s rambling, drug-fuelled, ad lib on the nature of existence, rebirth and doppelgangers is a treat, the sort of new-age snash David Brent might have conjured up while fully sober. The silence doesn’t last for long, though, not least because Carmella has spent the duration of the tense memorial knocking back booze like a cooze-hound on Spring Break, and is ready to unleash hell.

Merry Stressmas

S3, E10 ‘…To Save Us All from Satan’s Power’

In the absence of Big Pussy Bonpensiero – taken on a long boat-ride to oblivion – the amply proportioned Bobby Baccala is the natural choice to become the new Satriales’ Santa. Except he doesn’t want to do it. He’s too shy.

‘The fucking boss of this family told you you’re gonna be Santa Claus,’ Paulie tells Bobby menacingly. ‘You’re Santa Claus. So shut the fuck up about it!’

The surly and reluctant Bobby proves a lacklustre substitute, an observation that’s articulated perfectly by Paulie when he says, ‘Fuckin’ ho hum if you ask me.’

It’s not just Bobby’s mafia colleagues that like to drop the F-bomb at Xmas. Even a little boy, unimpressed by Bobby’s schtick, issues a heart-felt: ‘Fuck you, Santa.’

God bless us. Every one.

Two Assholes Lost in the Woods

S3, E11 ‘Pine Barrens’

The Pine Barrens was the episode that cleaved most closely to all-out comedy, pitting hot-headed anti-survivalists Christopher and Paulie against a runaway Russian they’d failed to kill. The darkly comic shit-show unfolded in the unforgiving, snow-filled foliage of the eponymous Pine Barrens, where Tony and Bobby were eventually summoned to rescue the hapless pair.

It’s hard to pick a comedy highlight from this episode, as it’s chock-full of them, but highlights include Tony losing it at the sight of Bobby Baccala’s hunting attire (if James Gandolfini’s laughter seems particularly genuine here, try googling some behind-the-scenes facts – you won’t be disappointed); Chris and Paulie noshing down on sauce sachets like they were a gourmet meal, and the following misunderstanding between Paulie, Chris and Tony thanks to poor mobile reception:

Tony: (garbled, on phone) It’s a bad connection, so I’m gonna talk fast. The guy you’re looking for is an ex-commando! He killed sixteen Chechen rebels single-handed.

Paulie: Get the fuck outta here.

Tony: Yeah, nice, huh? He was with the Interior Ministry. Guy’s some kind of Russian green beret. This guy cannot come back to tell this story. You understand?

[line breaks]

Paulie: (to Christopher) You’re not gonna believe this. He killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. The guy was an interior decorator.

Chris: His house looked like shit.

You Talkin’ To Me?

S4, E6 ‘Everybody Hurts’

Artie Bucco, Tony’s boyhood best pal, is a regular, hard-working chef. Even so, he’s frequently seduced by the luxurious criminal lifestyle he sees lapping around the fringes of his wonder-bread world. When a business deal to promote ‘the new French vodka’ goes awry and Artie finds himself $50k out of pocket to a swindling huckster he decides to channel his inner Mafioso and get his money back the Soprano way. Unfortunately, his inner Mafioso is no more ferocious than that possessed by any average member of the show’s audience – as much as proximity to Tony might convince us otherwise – and he gets the crap kicked out of him. Before that, though, his little Taxi Driver moment in the mirror, complete with mid-life crisis ear-ring and mobster posturing (‘Fucking shoes you’re wearing. What are they? Designer?’) is at once endearing, pathetic and very, very funny.

The mirror is no accident. He’s looking at us, looking at him, looking at ourselves.

Telephone Tough Guy

S4, E9 ‘Whoever Did This’

While Ralph Cifaretto is probably most widely remembered as a sort-of gangster Loki – a mirth-wracked trickster with a penchant for mayhem – most of his misdeeds were so loathsome that even the wider mafia disapproved: cheating on his grieving partner, beating a young pregnant girl to death, burning a horse alive (come on, of course that was him). Still, he did make us laugh, though, didn’t he?

No more so than when he pranked Paulie’s dopey-yet-adorable old mother in her nursing home (‘It’s a retirement community!’), announcing himself as Detective Mike Hunt, Beaver Falls, from the Pennsylvania police department. Not only did Ralph claim that Paulie had been caught pleasuring a cub scout in a public bathroom, but also that a small rodent had been discovered in Paulie’s rectal passage. ‘A gerbil, ma’am’.

Ralph laughed his head off.

Tony later removed it.

A Truth Injection

S4, E10 ‘The Strong, Silent Type’

Drug interventions are worthy and solemn rituals – they certainly aren’t supposed to be funny – but there’s something delicious about a room full of self-involved sociopaths with no impulse control and an insatiable appetite for pleasure assembling to pass judgement on Christopher essentially for having no impulse control and an insatiable appetite for pleasure. Christopher is at least self-aware enough to lobby this back in the faces of his supposed rescuers, pointing out that Silvio likes to sample his sex-workers; that Paulie’s hot-head almost dragged the Newark family into war with the Russian mob, and that Tony’s epicurean compulsions will probably kill him more quickly than Christopher’s drugs.

From the moment a bewildered Christopher emerges from his bedroom to find both families – blood and work – camped out in his living room, the laughs just keep coming, all the way through to the (inevitable) explosion of violence at the scene’s climax.

Christopher instantly recognises the host of the intervention, Dominic Paladino, as ‘the guy who broke into Stew Leonards that time and stole all those pork loins.’

‘Yes,’ replies a sheepish Dominic. ‘But… that’s not why I’m here today.’

Especial mirth-based mentions must go to Silvio and Paulie (the latter’s reaction to Christopher’s narcotic-related manhood problems is priceless), and their refusal to play along with the ‘care-frontation’.

‘When I came to open up one morning, there you were with your head half in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting,’ says Silvio, reading awkwardly from what is possibly the most unnecessary aide de memoire ever written.

Leave it to Paulie to lay the smackdown on this particular brand of ‘California bullshit’: ‘I don’t write nothing down,’ he says, ‘so I’ll keep this short and sweet. You’re weak. You’re out of control. And you’re becoming an embarrassment to yourself and everybody else.’

Drugs are bad. Mmmkay?

Dead Good Food

S5, E7 ‘In Camelot’

When Junior realises he can get respite from his house arrest through attending family funerals he starts to exaggerate and exploit ever more spurious links to get him out of the house for a few hours. While all around him are wracked with grief, his is the only face with a smile on it, enjoying the change of scenery, enjoying the food, wondering why everyone has to be so maudlin.

In a darkly funny scene he happily extols the virtues of the spread while attending the wake of a teenage boy. ‘Chicken’s nice and spicy, huh?’ he beams at a fellow mourner.

A Grave Error

S5, E9 ‘Unidentified Black Males’

When Tony agrees to pick up the tab for the headstone of a New York soldier who was slain, unbeknownst to him, by his own cousin, his men manage to add insult to injury.

We see the headstone. At the graveside. During the funeral service. And it says:

Peeps.

‘Peeps?’ spits Tony. ‘It’s a fuckin’ nickname! His family name is Pepperelli!’

Silvio hunkers down into full middle-management mode. ‘They’re gonna re-do it. Fuckin’ J.C. He’s dyslexic.’

‘What’s that got to do with it?’ asks an incredulous Tony.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

You could fill a book with The Sopranos’ funniest moments – Paulie’s rant about shoelaces, Bobby B botching a publicity shooting, Silvio’s poker-table tantrum, Little Carmine’s malapropisms, to name but a handful – so by necessity we’ve had to leave a lot out. What are some of yours?

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emily-rose-white · 4 years ago

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Practice Challenge 1:

“Princess Fluffy Angel! Fluffy Princess Angel! Angel Fluffy Princess!” I called out to my three poodles from the foyer of her Paris flat.

“Girls! Your mommy’s home and she brought presents!” I aded before skipping over to her tea room where a set of cookies and cakes had been awaiting her.

“Lady White, you forgot to say this morning, would you like rose tea or mint tea with your snacks today?”

“I will take rose tea! Thank you!” I replied as one of her dogs ran up to her. I threw the wrapping paper from her gift bag down on the ground as my maid picked it up, removing a light pink fluffy tutu and flower crown.

The Whites came from a long line of an affluent family. They had been there when Illea was founded, serving as Gregory’s right hand man, then invested that money into stocks and properties. The Whites, therefore, had never run out of money. I had acted in films and shows on occasion, but only because I loved the attention. Also, so I could have a chance to possibly meet Ava Jones.

When I was around thirteen, I worked in my first movie. I took on the role exclusively because my favorite pop singer, the newly discovered, Ava Jones was writing a song for it. There was no guarantee that meant I would meet her, but I would take any chance to do so. One day on set, my dream came true. Ava Jones, the coolest fifteen year old the world had ever seen (in my eyes) appeared. However, I had been acting horribly that day and couldn’t believe her luck. Ava Jones, my icon, my Goddess, would see me completely flop.

I ran behind her trailer and sobbed, curling into a ball and sitting with my head in my lap. When suddenly things when from bad to worse,

“Hey," Ava mumbled as she stood in front of me. My face shot up red in embarrassment, tears and snot being sent downwards as my head went up. "I look so ugly!" I screamed and started crying even more.

"I don't see why that really matters, but yeah you're a pretty ugly crier." Ava squatted down to be on level with me. She took the tissue from my hand and wiped me off as I panted to catch her breath.

"I don't want you to see me looking ugly! You're Ava Jones!" I yelled, supposedly trying to explain myself.

"Then maybe don't cry." Ava sighed and sat down on the ground next to me.

"What do you even have to cry about?" She asked.

"This script." I grumbled and threw a paper down on the ground. Ava picked it up and tried to examine it. She didn't really know anything about acting but gave it her best shot.

"What's wrong with it?"

"I'm not good enough for it. They want me to be shocked! How am I supposed to be shocked?" I huffed.

"Well, I'm not an actor so I can't really tell you. But do you wanna practice with me a few times?" She offered. I nodded a little bit as Ava examined the script

"Look out princess magenta! That building is falling!" Ava yelled with WAY too much enthusiasm.

"Oh no." I said, still emotionally drained from the crying.

"Well that was sad." Ava couldn't help but grin as my head dropped in further despair. She paced for a moment before getting an idea, "You seemed pretty shocked when I found you crying," I nodded.

"Maybe just, I don't know, channel that or something?"

I nodded with enthusiasm this time, "okay! Let's try again"

"Look out princess magenta! That building is falling."

"oH NO!" I yelled. It was probably a bit much but I was happy and this was just a kids movie after all. From that day on I decided that one day Ava Jones was going to be her best friend. I had gone to every concert, set up photoshoots. I even turned a Playboy magazine event into a charity event so Ava could be pressured into coming. But, it was always the same. Ava would smile, they’d talk about work, then she’d be whisked away. I needed at least once to crack her shell.

And that’s why today was the best day of my life. Her phone rang as she sat, munching on her cookies and she answered it to her screaming friend Tammy, “OHMYGOSHEMILYEMILYEMILY I HAVE THE BEST NEWS FOR YOU!!”

“WHAT WHAT OH MY GOSH WHAT!!!?” I yelled back causing the maids and her poodles to wince.

“AVA JONES IS JOINING THE SELECTION!!” She screamed causing me to shriek in delight.

“Really? It’s not at all her type of thing, where did you hear this?” I asked quickly, still holding onto hope.

“Okay so my brother’s girlfriend’s, best friend’s cousin’s boyfriend's older sister works for Rainbow Companion Recordings, and she heard from an intern who heard from her boss who heard from her boyfriend who heard from his boss that heard from Ava’s agent that she’s joining!”

I gasped and my phone fell to the ground in shock for a moment before I picked it up and quickly ended the call before called my sister.

“Savannah! Can we push back golf? I have to pack for a flight to Angeles!” I exclaimed as my older sister sighed.

“Really? You know it’s hard for me to clear my schedule. I’d really prefer we stick to our originally planned time.” She sighed. My heart dropped a bit but I sucked it up and agreed to our normal time.

***

The ball flew higher than I intended for it to. I could never hit them perfectly. Not the way Savannah could. Savannah was always perfect, be it in golf, studies, anything. She was mother and father’s favorite. She had excellent grades all her life, became fluent in Spanish, new Asian, french, Italian, and German, then she followed in our father’s footsteps taking off to become a large company’s illean representative. She was flown around and paid nicely (not like she needed it). Our parents always had hoped for me to grow up and follow in her footsteps, but despite Savannah's framed report cards being hung in the hallway, I could never keep up.

“Do you think you’ll apply for the selection?” I asked her as I quickly went to the ball.

“You really think I’d apply for that? Mom and dad would never approve of either of us getting a fiance that way.” She scoffed and crossed her arms. “Why are you asking, one of your bimbo friends planning on it?”

I bit the inside of my cheek holding back on defending my friends, people like Savannah didn’t get along with people like me. “Well, it’s not like he’s some four. He’s a prince I hardly see how that’d lead to disapproval.”

“You really think mom and dad would like one of us putting our lives up on a TV for the speculation of the world and tabloids, being the prince’s personal prostitutes for however long he needs to recover from a broken engagement. Not to mention the fact that he had an engagement called off, what does that say about him? Doesn’t think through decisions, commitment problems, then there could be a whole other plethora of reasons for the engagement being called off.” She responded. A “duh” needing to follow each statement.

I looked down to the ring on my own finger, I had the diamond replaced after father would no longer give his blessing to Jacob. It was now a glistening pink ring, it’d have been too sad to return a ring so beautiful, but I no longer wore it on my ring finger. I didn’t have a good response for Savannah, she made excellent points as always.

“You better not be thinking of joining yourself. They barely handle your “actress” lifestyle.” She sighed before hitting her own ball. I was the failure of the family. The easily manipulated, easy-to-bed, childish, Emily-rose.

***

I applied anyways, it would be one of my only chances to see Ava Jones again. I needed her to like me as much as I liked her. To understand how much I would value our friendship. I brought boxes of macrons with me from France and decided to use them as an excuse to speak with Ava. I would have to give them to everyone though, as to not seem creepy. I stopped at the door of one Ms. Jen Li and waited at the doorway as she was in bed,

“Hi! I'm Emily-Rose White! You might know me from a few movies I've been in. I recently got back from Paris and brought some macaroons back for the selection as a friendship gift, would you like one?” I offered, giving a quick introduction.

“Macarons?” She asked then scoffed something under her breath. I was very familiar with the action. Mother or father had done it since I was a child. Prancing around at parties they’d mumble their embarrassment to each other. I brushed it off and widened my smile,

“ Do you dislike them? I have coffee, mocha, chocolate, and vanilla flavor. I can also order some more if you'd like?” I offered. I would hate for Ava to hear of me being unkind to a selected. Mother had always said giving gifts was a much more dignified way of forming alliances than giving hugs.

Jen took one of the cookies, holding it carefully. I wonder if she’s never had one? They’re pretty tasty if she’d like to try it. I hope she knows I’m not one of those women who you can never eat in front of. “Emily White. You're a Two, aren't you?” She asked.

“Yup! Though my family were originally politicians when Gergory Illea took over and aided him, he bought our way to the two cast a few years after and mostly acted as society socialites. But again, I like to act if I see a role that looks fun. How about you?” I answered by giving a little bit of fun fact information for fun.

Jen tossed the cookie back in the bin and scoffed again, I hope I didn’t catch her in a bad mood, “Figures. I'll pass.” she replied. I tried to not let myself crack even though I was becoming increasingly terrified that I had done or said something wrong.

“Oh well, again if you'd like anything else I can get it for you. I'd love to be friends with you all here.” I offered and gave her another smile. I handed the box over to a maid who stood near me.

Jen shot up at that and stalked over to me, “I know you're a Two, and you've never had to lift a single one of your manicured fingers in your life, but when you're in my room-” she took the box back from the maid and shoved it back at me, “ you treat them with respect. At least they actually contribute something to society.” She said. I frowned and realized it must be because I hadn’t spoken to her. Their job was to aid us so I hadn’t thought of interacting with them as opposed to just giving them their tasks. I thought that was how they preferred their work to be done, or at least that’s what mother and father always had told me.

I turned to the maid and gave her a friendly but apologetic smile. “Excuse me Miss Maid. As it is your job to do would you take this box and throw it out. It has no use now.” I explained feeling a bit like I was performing and unsure if I had done it correctly. “Is that what you meant?” I asked Jen hoping she would feel better now.

Jen pulled the box back from the maid and shoved it once again in my arms, “No, you bitch, I mean do it yourself. Or is that too hard for you?” She sneered.

I couldn’t help it anymore and my lip quivered as I felt myself crying. Of course she wanted me to deal with the box. I’m such an idiot. “I'm sorry, I can do that.” I spoke quickly and turned with the box hoping I hadn’t caused too much of a scene.

***

I laid in my bed for a few hours. I debated calling Savannah or mother- but of course they would know not to act that way with a maid. Of course I was the dumb one here. I had offended lady Jen Li and caused a scene. I was already in this event that they hated and now I was ruining the White name.

Crying into my pillow I decided to go down to Ava’s room. We weren’t friends yet, and this was NOT part of the plan. But it would be better for her to hear it from me so I could apologize for what a complete fool I had been before she decided that was who I had grown into. I cried on her bed for a few hours, explaining that I hadn’t meant for things to turn out that way and I truly hadn’t known that Jen would be so upset. She was incredibly kind, offering to speak with Lady Jen herself, but that would be even worse, to escalate the situation more. I dozed off in the room and slept my first night in Ava’s room.

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keelymewett · 4 years ago

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Zombie Movie: I Am Legend (2007)

“Here’s Karen at the health desk.”

Karen from the health desk. (Picture: A female news anchor, Karen from the health desk.)

Language warning (sorry kids, but this is an MA15+ movie).

I shit you not, that’s one of the opening quotes of the movies. So, friends and enemies, welcome to the longest review I’ve done of a zombie movie yet. It’s 1:35am here in Australia and I’ve just finished rewatching I Am Legend, everything’s fresh in my mind and I’m hyped up on chocolate.

This movie has incredible tension, a fresh take on the zombie apocalypse, and it’s based on the 1954 novel by Richard Matherson, which inspired the modern day vampire and zombie movies. Why you may ask? Because it popularised the concept of a worldwide apocalypse due to a disease... now I’m beginning to realise that watching zombie movies during a global pandemic maybe wasn’t the best idea I’ve ever had. Any who.

YouTube rewind made me forget how bloody good of an actor Will Smith is, and boy does he deliver in this movie. Robert’s (that his character, btw, though I will probably end up just referring to the character as Will Smith) interactions with Sam the goodest girl in the world (she’s a dog) and the mannequins is incredible.

The goodest girl in the world. (Picture: A dog (I’m sorry - I don’t know dog breeds! I’m 99% sure she’s a German Shepard) being given a bath and head scratches by Will Smith.)

Now: three things to look forward to in this “review” (assuming you read the spoilery section below). One: how realistic is this apocalypse? Two: there’s a dog. Three: zombie vampires. Vampire zombies?

Backgrounds details! (Picture: Will Smith opened the fridge. On the fridge door are photos of his wife and daughter, a calendar dated for December, a drawing with “Marley” written in kids handwriting, post-it notes, a pamphlet with the heading “Quarantine”, and a Time Magazine cover of Robert Neville (Will Smith). The title reads (heading) “Saviour?” (sub-heading) “Soldier, Scientist” (body of text) “In a Battle that Could Save Thousands of Lives, Lt. Col. Robert Neville Takes on the XV Virus.”

Also, there’s banging in my house at the moment and when I say I’m peaking. I’m going to need to listen to some music while I write this.

Read on for a fun time! Spoilers ahoy!

Realism (the really relevant part. Yikes)

Okay, so what’s this fresh take on the apocalypse? Basically, this doctor cures cancer and it all goes to shit from there. I’m not 100% on the logistical jump from “destroying cancer cells” to “humans (and animals) becoming bloodthirsty mutants that burn in the sun” - for instance, this is just my sci-fi high-school biology and physics brain working here, cancer is basically a rogue cell that mutates other cells and destroys them in the process, yeah? So if the doctor, like she said, uses these cancer cells to work for the body and in the process “cures” cancer, wouldn’t the humans just... infect each other and the virus would kill the host if it went south? Given, that did happen in like 90% of cases as Will Smith explains, but where does the sunlight allergy come in? Is cancer afraid of UV? Confused, but I digress.

... Is that my queen, Missy, from Umbrella Academy? (Picture: A woman with blood leaking from her eyes, holding a child and shouting for help.)

The scene where they’re listening to the radio and the guy is like we’re “issuing a military quarantine of New York City” I’m like bitch you wish. Unrealistic. The USA currently (9/10/2020) has the highest cases of COVID-19 in the world (for future historians and poor school children, it’s at 7.68 MILLION cases, no statistic for recovered cases for some weird ass reason, and sadly, 212,000 deaths. For reference, here in Australia we’ve had as of today 27,206 cases, 24,807 recovered and 897 deaths. New Zealand, who went into hard lockdown, had as of today, 1,864 cases, 1,800 recovered, and 25 deaths, with a period where there were 0 new cases for several days.)

Though, with that in mind, everyone going outside and gathering in large crowds? Realistic.

The actual movie part

Praises time! Will Smith has a stockpile of food. Also, him getting Sam (the dog) to eat her vegetables like she’s a little kid? Cutest thing ever.

Stockpilesss. (Picture: Will Smith wearing an apron and preparing a meal in a kitchen chock full of food items, including things like Pringles and spaghetti sauce.)

Setting alarms on his watch for sunset? Brilliant, smart idea, fantastic. Re-enforced windows and door, AND booby-trapped house? Incredible, genius. Setting traps to catch the zomvamps? (like the dumb name I just came up with? Don’t worry, I’ll reveal the stupid arbitrary name they ACTUALLY came up with later) Talent, intelligence.

Dude, why wouldn’t you restrain the head/chest? You know, the part that can bite you? (Picture: Will Smith in a lab coat standing over a female zombie-vampire who’s been secured to a metal bench by the wrists and ankles. Medical monitors are connected to her.)

Now, Will Smith is out here looking for a cure. And by looking, I mean actively creating. In a lab. He washes his hands before going in - *chef’s kiss* follow his example - and unlike other zombie movies where it’s super dramatic in the hunt for a cure, this is a lot more chill considering it’s a) been 3 years and b) is more like how science actually works. Trials, tests, animal test-subjects (there is a debate about the ethics of this which I won’t go into here) (I mean a debate in real life not in the zombie movie haha) and human test-subjects.

“Did you kidnap my girlfriend, bro?” (Picture: bald, pale muscular dude-bro-looking zombie-vampire roaring in rage.)

The mother-fracking zombies

I have to say it: these are the most dumbass looking vampire-zombies. I say vampire-zombies (zomvamps) because they avoid sunlight but also eat people?

Now, unlike most zombie movies, these are really bloody intelligent zomvamps. At one point, after setting a booby trap and catching a zomvamp after stumbling into a nest of them, Robert says “They’re not showing any human social behaviour.” Hahahaha. Okay bitch first of all dude bro screamed when you kidnapped his mate, secondly dude bro has pet dogs, thirdly dude bro fucking caught you in a trap. He took revenge on you there, love. He followed you home!

The zomvamps are apex predators, can climb, run, hunt in packs, communicate with each other, set booby traps, make coordinated attacks, follow you home, learn where you live and remember it, and holy fuck humans had no chance.

Thank you for clarifying, because I actually found this quite funny. Like, look at him! (Picture: dude-bro zombie-vampire from earlier growling in front of a flaming car. The zombie-vampires are very CGI, pale, fish-person looking things with pale skin and completely bald of hair. This guy is wearing ripped clothes. The caption reads “Growls menacingly”.)

Random things I have in my notes but haven’t mentioned yet (yes I took notes)

What’s with the apocalypse and mannequins? Looking at you, Five (Umbrella Academy).

(Picture: Will Smith looking at a “female” mannequin, who is dressed in a coat and black bob wig. They’re in a movie store. Funnily enough, behind the mannequin is the “Adult” section of the films.)

I agree with the fuck-that-shit sentiment when you see a mannequin suddenly appear in a different part of the city - like how in the hell??

(Picture: Will Smith aiming a rifle at a mannequin in an orange jumper. Mannequin is usually located outside of the movie store, yet here it is randomly in the middle of the street at the end of a T-section. There are tall glass windows behind the mannequin, and the window to the right has a giant, gaping pitch black hole in it. It’s presumed that there is a nest of zombie-vampires in there.)

... so is this a booby trap for humans or for zomvamps? Because the former makes sense if that dude bro zomvamp analysed Will Smith’s trap from earlier and remade it (hence dropped the car off a bridge to string him up), and the latter doesn’t really make sense because a) you’ll only catch (and probably kill) one zomvamp and why would you want only one unless you’re Robert and two why tf aren’t you meeting up with Robert he’s been broadcasting and racing around town hunting deer (elk?) in a sports car.

I’d like to know how hard it actually is to do like a weird sit-up and get yourself free of one of these kinds of traps. Am I dumb for thinking it’s not that hard? (Picture: Will Smith is suspended in the air by a rope tied around his ankle, the result of a booby-trap. He’s struggling to free himself.)

Come on, you’re literally a doctor and a soldier. Don’t tell me you’re actually considering pulling that out? (Picture: Will Smith has been impaled in the leg by something. It looks like he’s about to attempt to pull it out. He’s in the middle of the street as the sun sets, and Sam is right next to him.)

Sam is a queen. Here are some photos of her.

(Picture: Robert Neville’s wife carrying a baby Sam - Sam is a puppy, by the way, and very adorable. Neville’s young daughter is walking out of the gate to their house behind her mother.)

(Picture: Will Smith in a flashback saying goodbye to his wife and daughter and crying. Sam is licking away his tears.)

Sometimes I hate foreshadowing. (Picture: Will Smith searching a house. He opens a cupboard and there’s a newspaper article with a picture of a zombie-vampire dog. The article reads “Infected dogs can come out at dusk. Stay in the light.” There’s a number to call for questions.)

Worst birthday ever. Now I’m sad and there’s still half the movie left.

(Picture: Will Smith sitting on the floor of his lab, hugging Sam, who’s just been bitten by infected dogs.)

Get Shrek’d.

(Picture: The ‘Shrek’ movie playing on the TV in Neville’s house.)

Ma’am, do you not know how to ration? That is such a waste of food. (Picture: the woman and kid who rescued Will Smith have cooked breakfast. She’s cooked way too many scrambled eggs for two adults and a kid, and all the of the bacon for literally no reason.)

Oh yeah, wanna know what they call the zombies in this movie?

Dark Seekers. They dropped that one on us well into the final half of the movie. Dark Seekers? Really? I won’t get into how dumb that sounds when you had two options to choose from - vampires and zombies. Hell, go with my suggestion of zomvamps, even vampzoms. Dark Seekers? Sorry, I get hung up on dumb zombie-alternative names. Sure, I get the atmosphere might be ruined by calling them vampires or zombies, but not even lying I didn’t realise she said “Dark Seekers” until I turned the CC on to grab a quote. I thought she said “Dog Keepers” hahahaha. “The dog keepers got them.” My defence is that the dude bro did keep dogs.

Finally, wrapping this up at 2:15 before I add in pictures, you’re telling me approximately 100 zomvamps made a coordinated attack on Will Smith’s house to eat... 3 people? That’s like me and a hundred mates descending on the pentagon for a fucking snickers bar. We’d get like an atom each.

Oh, what’s that? They’re here to rescue one person? Really? Really? How in the fuck are they even zombies if their primary purpose isn’t to eat humans. I’m disappointed. But points for a fresh take, at least.

Now one of the things I remember about this movie is that is has an alternate ending. The actual ending (huge spoilers but then again, you’re in the spoiler section) has Will Smith sacrifice himself (read: blow himself and the zomvamps up with a grenade) to defend the cure and save his new friends. The alternate ending, which was scrapped due to negative audience reaction, has Will Smith communicate with the zomvamps who like actually calm down and listen to him. He gives the dude bro back his friend, and... no one dies.

I’m sorry, how is an ending where, sure, a cure isn’t found YET, but, the “villains” of the movie are humanised and a new side of them is seen that shows, hey, maybe there’s another way through this apocalypse, better than an ending where Will Smith dies? Make it make sense test audience. Because, remember, there’s still a whole bunch of immune people living out here, and three of them are currently in the same room. Robert’s only been working on the cure for 3 years. How many years do you reckon it takes to cure cancer? Hint: it’s ongoing in real life. Just because the cure isn’t found in the movie doesn’t mean it won’t be found. Ughhhh. I digress again.

I have more random photos but I am very tired. If anyone’s interested in hearing me roast butterflies, the world not actually ending in 2012, and a missed pun about Until Dawn (even though it was made like ten years after this), and a quick analysis on Robert Neville and God, let me know :)

Have a great day everyone, wash your hands, social distance if possible, and quarantine. Just because the COVID-19 virus isn’t turning us into zombies doesn’t mean it isn’t hurting us.

Worldwide statistics, 9/10/2020: 36.2M total cases, 25.3M recovered, 1.06M deaths.

(Picture: Will Smith saying “I like ‘Shrek’ after just quoting an entire scene of it to win a kid’s trust.)

#zombie #movies #I Am Legend #Will Smith #vampires #zombies #Dark Seekers #quarantine #doggos #shrek #apocalypse #mannequins #The Umbrella Academy

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