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crystaldivination · 2 years ago

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“𝐘𝐎𝐔, 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐈 𝐃𝐎𝐍’𝐓 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 𝐘𝐄𝐓”

𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 - 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐞 𝐒𝐩𝐨𝐮𝐬𝐞’𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲

PS: I apologize if the pictures are somewhat disturbing to you. I’m against insect consumption and have a great love for all living creatures and plants but I just find the aesthetic to be interesting.

🖤 my other pacs • paid services • buy me a 🍸

How to choose your pile? As always meditate or close your eyes before looking at each image. Trust your intuition and pick out an image you feel the most drawn to.

Disclaimer: this is a general reading which may or may not resonate with you. Take what resonates and leave out anything that doesn't. Feel free to choose another pile if you'd like.

PILE 1 - LONGHORN VODKA

Helllo pile 1, welcome to your pile. You choose this vodka bottle.

So as first glance your future spouse is someone who is quite different from others. This is someone peculiar. They could like stuff involving science, technology, space or anything that is extraordinary in a sense. Not something people would usually do in their free time or spent their entire time occupy with. But again who is weird here when you can’t even understand why you can walk and run on a planet that is floating in the space right? This person is very smart but in their own particular way. They like to question everything. They’re curious and seem to be always on the go to discover new things. So someone who can stimulate them and show or maybe even teach them new things would be their type. Your future spouse could be someone asexual or just someone who values feelings over looks. They don’t really care who you are or what you do for a living if you can’t score in the intellectual department. More so they couldn’t care less about your look. They’re very attracted to unique and intellectual people and they do seem like someone hard to please. Even more so because they always seem so immersed in their own world. Your future spouse is someone on the loner side. They don’t usually hang out a lot with friends, let alone enjoy surrounded by many people. They don’t give in to the loud noises, cool stuff that others are doing. They like being on their own, mostly because they feel like others don’t understand their kind of interest. They sometimes feel like an outsider but remind themself again that they enjoy their own company. They might even have their own invisible friends who they sometimes talk to. I imagine them sitting in the middle of a dark room working on something experimental. Super strange but at the same it feels like a strange genius type of thing. It makes me kinda sad that they somehow can’t connect with others on a personal and emotional level yet they’re very confident in themself. They know what they can and what they’re capable of. Someone who can share this side of them and accept them for who they are is very much appreciated. If someone were to be exciting yet patient enough to get close to them and open them up, I promise, you will never get bored with them. Once they get comfortable with you they likely won’t be able to stop talking and if they’re into you expect someone who goes beyond their boundaries and way to make you feel like the best person on earth. They can be very sweet and warm. A little shy yet have a very strong will. They’re a go getter. When they see something/someone that sparks interest in them, they’d not hesitate to go after it/them. Kinda interesting and cute I’d say.

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. Reblogs, likes and follows are highly appreciated. Have a wonderful day or night ‹𝟹

PILE 2 - TARANTULA VODKA

Helllo pile 2, welcome to your pile. You choose this vodka bottle.

Your future spouse is a cutie pie. This energy feels so light and innocent. They might even look pretty young and vulnerable as well. But do not be fooled. Underneath this seemingly harmless and delicate exterior there is someone well learned. They might’ve gone through a lot that some people can’t even imagine. While others could’ve been defeated by those hardships your future spouse only grew stronger and wiser. They are so admirable and respectable even if they don’t show it. On top of that they are really humble and have pure intentions in whatever they do. They don’t show up outwardly as arrogant nor have a "better than you" mentality. They’re a treasure guys. Very hardworking. They give their all in everything. On the one hand because that’s the evidence of their life now seeing how far they have come without giving up but also because they know hard work and self belief never betray you. They’re very strong both mentally and physically. They believe in a well-balanced lifestyle. For them it’s a "nurture your soul to support your physical human body and in turn you keep your physical form in check to function well". Health is definitely important for them. They care about the overall well-being, not only for themself but for others around them as well. They’re a humanitarian. They like getting involved in helping other people in general. They are helpful because they know how it feels like to be helpless and struggle. That’s why they help whenever they can and might engage in humanitarian activities such as volunteering or donating. Such a golden heart. They might also have a soft spot for animals or children. Objects or beings that seem to be needing care and attention. They could have grown up as an orphan or just being brought up by one parent only so they understand how much human and other being need protection and love. Despite all this they never stop believe in the good things, a better world. They believe everything can change and is never set in stone. They have a spirit of an innovator. They might not be well-known or what others called "successful" yet although everyone’s definition of success is different but I’m sure they will leave a mark for something important later on. They don’t seem to care about all that though as for them a peaceful and harmonious life is the best so they might stick to it but it seems like they’re so well-liked wherever they go with their action-oriented characteristics I believe they can’t go unnoticed. I’m taking a liking to your future spouse, pile 2 hihi. They’re so endearing, adorable and loveable in any sense. They’re keeper. Don’t let them slip out of your hands when you’re able to catch them! Hold on tight! Btw they could be a Virgo although I’m getting a lot of air energy as well and also water. Maybe Aquarius because of their nature. That also seems to fit the description about them :)

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. Reblogs, likes and follows are highly appreciated. Have a wonderful day or night ‹𝟹

PILE 3 - CENTIPEDE VODKA

Helllo pile 3, welcome to your pile. You choose this vodka bottle.

Your future spouse is really well-liked by the opposite genders. They are quite good looking and sociable. They know how to entertain others simply by their presence. They seem most likely like a high school crush kind of person or they are. Looks and appearance wise all good and well but there is a downside to them. They could be very reckless and childish. They could be a player as well because they enjoy the attention and spotlight on them. They opt for poor options if someone were on a higher mentality, not to say their decisions are all wrong but those can hurt or don’t help them in the long way if they’re thinking of their future. They go for fun and could neglect everything else that bores them or that doesn’t give them this adrenaline rush. They should really slow down. I think their environment or the environment in which they grew up contributes to these choices or behavior of them. BUT don’t blame that because we all can choose our own destiny. This is not an excuse to all or everything else. They like to be different but this is not the difference that makes you stand out from others in a good way. They may even are proud of their infamous reputation. But looking closely they’re not entirely empty and superficial. They have a heart of a leader. If they learn how to let go of the worldly pleasures, stuff and all the shortcomings they definitely can go far. They need to (re)build their inner values and system to create something more deep and meaningful to themself first then something that could benefit other people as well. As for now they still seem so inexperienced and vain which also can give way that they can still have the chance to learn from the world and everything else to grow to the person they want or are meant to be. They have the potential no doubt but everything is in their hand. They need to make the move towards their rightful path instead of straying away from it. They urgently need to work on their self concept. They could be very insecure deep down which shows outwardly as excessive attention seeking and pathological lying. They need to dig deep in themself to find their own purpose and reason for being. Despite that they’re not a bad person at all. As I said before they’re not all superficial. They may lack discipline but they’re actually quite courageous. They fight for the people they love and don’t hesitate to risk it all for them. Sometimes unfavorable but they need to know that only defending is not all. They need to be able to be in a position where they can protect others as they like and stand up for own their thing. Be able to be in their element while being the bigger person. I do not mean to rule the world but they need to think bigger and learn how to balance. If they were to encounter issues that they alone can’t solve, for them being in a difficult position, what would they do? They need to think long-term. Because they do have a strong protective instinct nevertheless and could go out of their way sometimes, anger issues and manner should be kept in check. Decide what they want and go for it. They might not believe in themself so that’s why they choose the easier superficial option. They’re making themself smaller than they are. I feel empathy for your future spouse so I do hope they can change for the better for themself and their vision overall. It’s time they need to surround themself by more developed and evolving people to gain inspiration as well as a different view from the world and themself to activate their motivation and good energy but not everyone starts off smoothly so this rugged and bumpy road will teach them valuable lessons that will lead and could help them grow into a good and successful person.

For pile 3 I feel like giving a lecture so this is a lil longer than the other piles…

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. Reblogs, likes and follows are highly appreciated. Have a wonderful day or night ‹𝟹

PILE 4 - SCORPION VODKA

Helllo pile 4, welcome to your pile. You choose this vodka bottle.

Your future spouse is someone sensitive. They most likely have intense emotions that are sometimes hard to process. You might’ve chosen this bottle because of the scorpion and indeed your future spouse resembles it. They are a hard one to crack. Always seem so tough on the outside but struggle quietly on the inside. They’re much more fragile than they seem. It’s so interesting to read for them because there is a lot to say about them but at the same time I cannot seem to catch enough about them as well. It’s hard to describe. They also seem so fluid. They could have a duality to them. At one moment they seem so open and social but at the other one so cold, secretive and distant. To me cold here doesn’t mean heartless or mean but more in a sense of they aren’t being expressive or don’t know how to express themself emotionally. They can get shy and nervous easily making them seem elusive and hard to get close to. They don’t necessarily seem intimidating but a push energy is evident. They could have a hard time letting others in as well. Trust issues seems to be the problem. Maybe they’ve been betrayed or disappointed before making them doubt and suspect others a lot. They might be scared of being hurt. This behavior can affect how they view themself and others especially in relationships and connections overall resulting in challenges and stigmatization in those areas. This also makes them feel super anxious, lonely and depressed all the time. They really need someone who can go easy on them and letting them have the feeling of trust again. But don’t forget! In them exists a sense of fearlessness, boldness and a burning desire. They’re dangerously passionate. Just like a scorpion they can kill. They’re not all desperation and guilt. So don’t even try to play them. I literally heard "never play me" like don’t you dare! Your future spouse is a highly reserved individual with a lot of self control. Their self defense is also no joke and always on mode. They know what benefits them and they go for it once made up their mind. They’re super sharp, quick and extremely savvy. They’re determined and never give up. They can be described and summarized in 3 words. Passion, creativity, and fierce loyalty. They keep things private and only allow others to see what they want them to see. Patience, confidence and a good sense of self is needed if you take interest in them and want to make them yours. Because they can also get attached easily a good amount of independence and individuality is needed in the relationship. This person could definitely be a water sign because they feel their emotions deeply. The intensity and struggle to come out to light also reminds me of 8th house and/or 12th house placements. Gemini as well because duality is present. What do you think?

Thank you for reading. I hope you liked it. Reblogs, likes and follows are highly appreciated. Have a wonderful day or night ‹𝟹

#crystaldivination #pac #pick a card #pick a card reading #pac reading #tarotcommunity #tarot reading #intuitive readings #tarotblr #pick a pile #free readings #free intuitive readings #free tarot readings

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iamnmbr3 · 5 months ago

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I need you to know that after a decade of being a Harry Potter fan, your blog was the thing that made me ship drarry. Do you have any fics you'd recommend, since I'm only just starting to read drarry?

Ahhh! That's truly delightful to hear. Thank you so much for telling me! There's a ton of good drarry content. Definitely check out my fic rec tag here. Off the top of my head here are a few fun ones:

Running on Air by eleventy7 (words: 74,880 | rating: T)

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

At Your Service by Faith Wood (faithwood) (words: 95,752 | rating: E)

Hogwarts students are in danger; Harry is determined to save them all. There's only one thing he knows for certain: Draco Malfoy is somehow involved.

hello goodbye ('twas nice to know you) by tamerofdarkstars (words: 4,807 | rating: T)

Draco Malfoy thinks he might know whose thoughts are scrawling themselves on his skin, but that's crazy. Impossible, even. It has to be a mistake. - Self-indulgent soulmate AU where the thoughts of your soulmate inscribe themselves on your skin in a shifting magic tattoo

Nero su bianco by zuzallove (words: 40,507 | rating: E)

September 1997. Hogwarts is under the regime of Voldemort and the Carrows. Finding himself alienated by both his friends and his supposed enemies, Draco puts quill to parchment, and writes letters. He addresses them to the only person he can think of, as Hogwarts rapidly falls into chaos and ruin: Harry Potter. He goes to great lengths to ensure the letters are never discovered, and he’s pretty certain he’s done a great job. Until the day of his trial. PodFic available!

Denude by Faith Wood (faithwood) (words: 4,172 | rating: E)

This is a HBP AU. It's set a few days after the Sectumsempra scene and takes the story in another direction, asking the question: "What if the Sectumsempra scene had a greater impact on Harry and Draco?" Harry and Draco are sixteen. In medias res beginning. Non-linear storytelling.

AITA for being "obsessed" with my childhood nemesis? by RainstormRadish (words: 4,289 | rating: M)

Alrakis • I [24M] attended a small boarding school in the UK. There was a boy in my year, a couple of months younger than me, and he became my nemesis after we developed an intense rivalry. My friend [25F] told me recently that our dynamic was "weird back then" and that "it’s even weirder" that I still think about him today. She argued that I talk about him all the time, but I believe the amount I talk about him is reasonable. AITA? prongymcprongface • i completely get what you mean. i had a nemesis (like a school one, separate to my other nemesis) and we had a dynamic super similar to what you are describing. having a nemesis is a very cool and normal thing dw about it. NTA In which Draco asks the internet if he's being reasonable. Only one commenter is sympathetic. They start talking.

#asks #drarry #Harry Potter #hpdm #h/d

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lovelybucky1 · 1 year ago

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Neil trying to be cool to get the attention of a client (disinterested in him) being totally cringe and geeky with his movie recommendations

im a filmbro just like neil so i really resonate with this

my inbox is open for requests!

warnings: one mention of sexual content, mild mentions of violence, neil being a geek with zero rizz

masterlist

It’s not often hot people walk into Gumshoe Video. There’s the regulars, the families, the loser film bros who are there at least four times a week, the teens who try to rent pornos, and old people looking for the classics.

When you walked in, Neil almost dropped his fast food cup filled with Dr. Pepper. You’re exactly his type, and he pushed the other employees out of the way so he could be the one to help you.

“Hi, I’m Neil. How can I be of service?” he greets you, perhaps a bit too enthusiastically. You look down at his name tag and note that it says owner underneath his name.

“I don’t need any help, thanks,” you smile politely and continue walking. You aren’t trying to be rude, but you had a long day at work and this puppy dog of an employee is only going to get on your nerves.

“Are you looking for anything specific?” he asks, following you down the aisle.

You sigh. “No, just something to watch.”

“We have a huge selection. What’s your favorite genre?”

You resign yourself to the fact that this man is going to be up your ass until you leave the store.

“I don’t know. Action? Comedy?”

“Well, right over here we have Fast and Furious.” You wrinkle your nose. “We also have The Dark Knight.”

“Uh, no thanks. The villains in those movies are always so cheesy.”

Neil hums and scans the shelves, looking at the collection of videos for rent. “If you want a comedy we have Daddy Daycare, Superbad, American Pie…”

“I think I’ll just look around myself-”

“Or if you want something classic, we have Citizen Kane, Casablaca, The Godfather, Apocalypse Now-”

“Look, Neil,” you sigh. “I appreciate the suggestions but I really don’t need any help.”

Feeling rejected but not letting it show, Neil nods and steps away. “If you need anything, I’ll be behind the counter.”

You nod and watch him walk away before turning to browse the movie selection by yourself. It takes you a while to find anything that you were interested in, but you settled on Friday the 13th. It’s not what you’d usually go for, but your life needs a little excitement here and there.

From across the store, you could hear the other employees ridiculing Neil for “striking out”, though you’d have to argue that he never even got up to bat.

When you walk up to the counter to rent the movie, no one is to be found. You look around and find a bell on the counter labeled ring for assistance. You hit the button and the bell rings, and immediately following the chime is a thud and a curse. You peak over the counter to see Neil crouched underneath it, rubbing the top of his head.

He stands up and looks at you, putting on a charming smile like he didn’t just embarrass himself.

“All set?” he asks.

“Yep,” you reply shortly, handing him the box.

“Friday the 13th,” he reads. “That’s a good one. You didn’t tell me you’re into horror.”

“I’m not really. Just wanted a change,” you reply, figuring if you engage in his small talk, he’ll let you off the hook sooner.

“Did you know this was filmed at a real summer camp in New Jersey?” You shake your head. “It’s still operational, actually. The only set piece they had to build was the bathroom; everything else was already there.”

“That’s really interesting,” you smile, lying.

Unfortunately that was the wrong thing to say, because it made him perk up. “If you think that’s interesting, wait until you hear this…” He ducks under the counter again and comes back up with another movie in hand. “Scream was based on a series of real murders in the 90s. Ghostface was based of the Gainesville Ripper who killed five students in Florida. He wore a black ski mask, which was the inspiration for the movie.”

Neil must have noticed your concerned face and stopped.

“Uh, sorry. I guess giving a stranger facts about a serial killer is kind of weird,” he chuckles.

He scans your movie, swipes your card and prints out your receipt. Before he handed it to you, he scribbled something at the bottom.

“Thank you for renting from Gumshoe Video. Have a nice day,” he smiles.

You give him a polite smile back and on the way out of the door, you look down at the paper in your hand. He wrote what looks to be a phone number, but his handwriting is too messy for you to make out the digits.

#neil lewis #neil lewis x reader #cillian murphy #cillian murphy x reader #watching the detectives

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hyperref-lex-ia · 6 months ago

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lots of common reactions i get as a mute person

all the following are peoples reaction when they assume i am deaf, the most common assumption

- flustered and lifts hands to try and sign and then lowers them when they realize they dont know ASL

- flustered and starts to sputter and talk before settling on mouthing things at me

- mouths “can you lip read”

- talks really loud at me (which wouldnt do much if i was deaf so idk)

- goes to find something to write on

- sometimes if i type on my phone in my notes when i need to say something other than yes or no people will go to literally take my phone from me to type back instead of literally anything else

- signs some of the more common sign, i get thank you a lot (especially in customer service situations, which is where most of these happen)

- if it is someone on the street saying something and they assume im deaf when i sign at them they usually just disregard me which is actually really nice

these next ones are when people dont assume im deaf, which is rarer

- talks to me normal

- talks to me like im dumb

heres a few nice incidents

- guy asked me if i was mute in spanish and i nodded and he asked if i knew spanish and i was like not really lol (live in a heavily hispanic area so i picked up on enough to understand) and he switches to english and shares about a talk he had gone to recently about mutism

- girl working at sonic assumed i was deaf and ran inside just to grab her phone to help me which i thought was really sweet so i just didnt correct her

- just today i was using the self checkout at a gas station and the guy behind the register sees me getting frustrated with the card reader and slides over a piece of receipt paper that says “tap works better” and i am like “i dont have tap” and i decide to just cancel the self checkout and move to him cause hes got good vibes and he holds the bag up and raises an eyebrow allowing me to have a choice in it which i dont often get. when i am leaving he signs “have a good day” super slow and obviously practiced a lot, and the fact that he obviously learned that just in case this happened made me really happy

- every time someone has happened to know ASL in public, its always surprising how many hearing/verbal people know ASL, almost always because they are CODA

- the enthusiastic gay man at my eye doctor who got so excited when he saw i signed even though he doesnt know it, because he thought it was so cool

- every person who goes “oh you speak ASL” and then immediately thinks about thay sentence and kind of 404 errors out as they realize you cant speak ASL

- the tiny middle aged mexican woman who has worked the store at my school the entire time ive been going there who knows me because i always go there for caffeine and snacks, and manages to always communicate with me despite a couple language barriers and will often berate me if i dont get water with my caffeine or if i dont get food, and who also wishes me happy holiday for every holiday that comes around, and was also very visibly worried when i had to rely on a cane for a few months

- my painting professor who always takes so much pressure off because hes so blunt, when i came in with a cane everyone danced around asking about it and he walks in and goes “what the hell happened to you??”, the most recent thing that made me laugh is we were talking and i was using TTS and as we are walking into the studios he goes “im gonna go talk with Ronnie, give your thumbs a break” and then we both started laughing

the worst interaction ive had

- had one of my professors numbers which happens sometimes because it makes life easier and she texted me out of the blue saying she “had a dream she was at my wedding and i spoke my vows” with heart emojis and i did not know this woman at all and i was like…what the fuck…not only is that unprofessional but also ableist

lastly shout out to my friends who translate for me purely off lip reading who dont know ASL

#long post #mutism #selective mutism #just getting thoughts out honestly

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eggluverz · 1 year ago

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— MASTERLIST

hi there and welcome to my blog!! i’m sof and here are my writings :> hope u enjoy ur stay !!

DAN HENG

i. operation: dog food

modern au. in which you are trying to save a stray dog and dan heng sees you lurking around front of his door.

ii. the interns

modern au. in which you view your internship as a competition and dan heng is simply attracted to all your hard work and determination.

iii. hot and cold

roommate au. in which dan heng runs hot and blasts the air conditioner to keep cool, and you feel like you’re living in the arctic.

iv. starry night bakery

bakery au. in which the cute baker down the street catches your eye and you decide to become a regular to keep seeing him.

v. blind dates & hidden feelings

march 7th sets you up on a blind date with gepard and dan heng finds himself feeling jealous when he sees the two of you on a date together.

vi. we really were timeless

dan heng does not want to remember his previous reincarnation, but there is one part he doesn't want to let go of forever— you.

vii. like me better?

you want to braid dan heng's hair and he wonders if you like him better in this form.

viii. something shiny this way comes

dan heng wants to face part of his past by walking around xianzhou luofu with you, but he freaks out when he notices you are no longer by his side.

ix. after all this time

you were the great imbibitor lunae's disciple. he trusted you with his life and you with his. but when the time came, you weren't able to save him. what happens when you run into his reincarnation years down the line?

x. no time to waste

school au. dan heng's a workaholic, you're the only one who can get him to look away from his work, and jing yuan thinks the two of you just need to get together.

xi. should've been there

you and dan heng are exploring the xianzhou luofu and you get surrounded by a group of assassins who want to hurt you to get to dan heng. you decide to teach them not to mess with your partner.

xii. stars fading but i linger on, dear

dan heng has been having dreams about you. they started off good—like a fairytale even. but soon he’s been getting the feeling something is wrong. you’re trapped and alone and can’t escape. dan heng wonders if his dreams are telling him something. and if they are…what is there for him to do?

xiii. dragons and daffodils

you impulsively walk into a tattoo shop, see a gorgeous man with blue eyes and a dragon tattoo along his arm, and immediately decide you need to get a tattoo from him now.

xiv. light in the darkness

dan heng has an extreme fear of the dark and the astral express experiences a power outage. thankfully, you are there to help him through this.

xv. gifts from the heart

dan heng sees a plushie of him at a vendor booth at belobog. he doesn’t understand that craze of “cute” things himself but perhaps you will like the gift.

BLADE

i. not a weirdo stalker [smau]

modern au. in which you are a college student trying to vibe and blade thinks you are crazy obsessed with him.

ii. everything i need

idol au. in which you’re feeling down about not seeing your boyfriend in a few months and blade takes time out of his busy tour schedule to surprise you.

JING YUAN

i. taste of the universe

in which jing yuan occasionally gets tired of being general and you are there to cheer him up.

ii. lady fu’s matchmaking service

fu xuan thinks the lonely general needs to go on a date, and you are just the person she wants to set him up with.

iii. the general needs a break… and a mooncake

the general is drowning in work, and the mid-autumn festival is the perfect excuse to take a break.

DAN FENG

i. a stare worth a thousand words

you and dan feng were just friends. close comrades who challenged each other. but you were starting to suspect that just friends don't stare at each other like this...

HEADCANONS

❀ dan heng x f!reader college au

❀ halloween with dan heng, jing yuan, and blade

— tags + info

❀ request guidelines

# ❣️ rambles: for when i like to blah blah blah

# 💌 asks: received in my ask box <3

# 📚 fic recs: works i’ve read and enjoyed!

member of @masked-fools 🫶

#masterlist #if u see this dan heng luvs u<3

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robin374 · 2 months ago

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👋 hiiii!! I love your writing sm, btw!!! I’ve re-read a lot of your stuff!

If possible it would be so cool to see Sniper with a reader that has a service dog for their anxiety! I’m probably going to end up needing one in the future, so yeah 👍 if you choose to write this, I would recommend just quick videos on psychiatric service dogs, it’ll quickly explain all the tasks they do.

I also had a couple ideas that you might want to use:

- he would probably have a hard time trying not to pet the dog or make eye contact considering he loves animals and nature

- might think he’s the cause of the dog needing to do tasks, which is sort of true, but the reader explains they trouble talking to almost everyone

Just a few things about how anxiety affects people who need service dogs for it:

- makes it really hard to go anywhere without someone else

- dogs can remind their handlers to eat, drink water, and go to bed

- they can give deep pressure therapy (lying on top of them, basically) if their handler is stressed

Sorry if this is a bit long, I just wanted to avoid any confusion or misunderstandings about service animals and what they do, and of course, feel free to completely ignore this, but yeah. Tysm if you end up writing it!!

Cool little fella

So, yeah, the moment he laid eyes on your service dog he wanted to pet it. He lifted his hand to approach it so the dog could smell him, but the only answer he received was you smacking his hand away.

"Hey!" He complained, rubbing his hand. "Do you like to be distracted from your work?" He denied it with is head, still confused about the free agression. "Then, leave the dog be." You said as you walked away with your pet. After that interaction he got it and he was more careful around your dog. He even smacked Scout whenever he tried to distract you dog.

You always thank Sniper with a small kiss as he smiled with a dumbfounded smile and a red face. "It was nuthin', dear..." He says as he hides behind his hat.

Now, him and the dog are the responsibles of reminding you to eat, drink water, go to bed...

If it's not the dog, then it's Sniper. They are like a team. The dog nudges you to remind you to eat and before you can leave your seat; Sniper is already entering the room with a Sandwich he asked Heavy to make and a glass of water.

Whenever the dog detectes that you're nervous or starting to feel anxious, it leads you out of the room and makes you sit on the floor so it can lait it's head on your lap. You still don't know if it's because he's jealous or something, but Sniper always, and I mean always, manages to find you with your dog and sits next you. He offers his hand to you and when you lace your hands together he feels proud.

He doesn't know how to help you, so he somehow copies the dogs actions. He's too afraid to ask you about how to help you whenever you feel like that. Just smile at him and kiss his cheek.

#tf2 x reader #tf2 #team fortress two #tf2 headcanons #tf2 sniper x reader #tf2 sniper

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ghoulfuckersincorporated · 2 months ago

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I really love your NSFW hwadcanon posts....could you do one for Beatrix and a female Courier or Reader? 👉👈 Totally not self indulgent reasoms

Yet another ghoul I'm so bummed you can't recruit as a companion (especially since she gives the vibe that she'd kick some real ass and wouldn't need you to babysit her). I am, however, pretty happy that you can at least pay her for her "services" if you recruit her to be a sex worker for the Garrets. The fact that they use feral ghoul noises when it cuts to black if you do so really tickles me.

Also, it makes me so happy that you guys enjoy the headcanon posts! Thanks for reading and thanks for subscribing! 🧡

Beatrix Russell (Fallout: New Vegas) x Female Courier NSFW Headcanons

Serious dacryphilia kink. She wouldn't brag as much as she does about enjoying pain if she didn't wanna see her favorite "victim" shed a few tears. I mean, it really completes the whole look and feel of properly breaking in one of your new toys. Seems like she might even like to taste your tears on the right day. Full-on sobbing may not turn her on...but it doesn't necessarily turn her off, either.

Big fan of rope play, both because it gives her control of her partner and because it keeps them confined into one position where she can easily predict how they'll react. Enjoys "suspension"-type rope play even more and would absolutely love to dangle you from the ceiling like a side of beef while she plays with you, but finding a building with strong enough...anything for such fun can be difficult.

If she likes you, she wouldn't be opposed to the idea of you sleeping at the foot of her bed and being her little pet. You're gonna have to come to her, though. She won't make the first move when it comes to "making things more serious" or seeing one another more regularly. You can come around for as many casual fucks as you want (you know where she is; she makes sure of it), but if you wanna spend the night and cuddle and shit, you'll have to be the one to bring it up. She'll be excited that you like her enough to want to be around her more, but she'll try her hardest to be cool about it.

She can be incredibly mean when she wants to be, clearly, but if she really cares about and likes you, deep down she will want to spoil you somehow. Bea isn't a natural gift-giver, herself, as she's developed quite a stingy streak over the years, but if she senses that you're the type of person who really enjoys gifts, she'll try her best. If you're not a "gifts" person, she'll try for sweet gestures, or maybe compliments, but there may be some growing pains for her in either department. She isn't a particularly romantic person by nature but she'll put in effort.

I picture her being a stone top or damn near close. Whether she has past trauma from a long (and obviously turbulent) life, touch issues, or because she simply doesn't like the vulnerability that comes with being the "receiving" partner, I have a hard time picturing her doing anything but topping or taking care of herself. Some people may feel selfish only ever receiving, or worry that her needs aren't being met, but don't stress about it; there are a lot of other things the two of you can do that she still enjoys...you know, things that aren't beating you black and blue. She's very good at communicating what she does and doesn't want, so feel free to explore when the two of you are in the right space (read as: she's allowed you any control). She enjoys being mean, but she doesn't want to drive you away when all you're trying to do is please her. Plus, you can always put on a show for her while she touches herself; she has few to no qualms with that.

Beatrix would absolutely love to brand you. In fact, she might be able to cum just from the sound of you squealing in pain as she permanently marks you as her own. She's incredibly possessive, after all, if she manages to get to the point where she has feelings for someone, which is rare. Not impossible, though.

#beatrix russell #beatrix russell x courier #fallout new vegas #fnv #submission #sorry this is unhinged and also not totally self-indulgent

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queerliblib · 4 months ago

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Hi! I work in a library and am an aspiring librarian! (Currently in my Master's program for it!) I've been following you for a while now and I am so happy for the work you're doing!! The library system I work for is in a city, and the area is relatively progressive and I work with a TON of queer folks throughout all our different branches (including myself!); even our Customer Service team, which I'm a lead for (not boss, but a step above a regular CS worker; training, guiding, and working with our manager to make the team succeed etc etc), is filled out with so many queer folks. (And we're all our own brand of Neurodivergent™ 😅.)

Anyhow, I love seeing your stuff pop up on my dash and I signed up as soon as I could for the card! In our system, we have things called "affinity group" which are personal spaces through our Teams app up for workers with marginalized identities can go to find one another and create a safe space and community together. It's obviously through work, but it's a place for all if us from different branches to connect and share our experiences with one another. I'm in both a generalized disability one and a Neurodivergent one!

We love talking about our special interests (even have a whole channel dedicated for it in the neurodivergent one 😅) and we happened to get on the topic of fanfic and fandoms. Someone in our group was saying that they often read fanfic because it's a place where a lot of queer people go to write for themselves and other queer folks. So I linked to your website and told them about all the cool queer works on there by and for queer folks! They seemed really happy to see it! I'm not sure if and when they'll sign up, but you definitely have some queer & disabled library workers VERY interested 😄

Thank you for all your work here and I plan to continue to spread your stuff everywhere! Since I can't really help with donations (even with a union, still not a big paycheck 😅), but I'll keep promoting you guys to everyone and anyone I can find who will appreciate it! Thanks again, you guys are wonderful! (Apologies for the overexplaination, I'm very bad at keeping things short 😅)

oh, this is so lovely, thank you! sorry it’s taken us so long to answer - fundraiser time was quite busy!!

it’s always delightful to hear from other library workers. we know everyone out there is doing the best with what they have (which often isn’t much) and we just hope QLL can supplement & complement the excellent work that libraries everywhere are already doing. (& aside from donations, sharing info about us really is the best way to support, so thanks!!)

good luck with your MLIS 📚

#hope y’all continue to enjoy QLL <3 #asks #queer liberation library #qll

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mcromwell · 10 months ago

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Ayo! New follower here. I love your art and your mind set of just messing around to make cool stuff. but I’ve also seen you love been to at least one convention (I didn’t scroll far enough to see more about conventions) and I wanted to ask. How you did it? I really enjoy making art and I would love to make it a career so this boils down to :

how did you do it? And how can I do it too?

not just like first steps but what happens after that? I’m young enough that if this doesn’t work out I have plenty of time to look into other careers before worrying about paying for rent or necessities with money from my future occupation. I know that everyone’s experience is different but I still hoping you can give me a somewhat clear answer.

thank you for inspiring me

(sorry this ask was so long)

Hello there! Thank you for your message.

These questions are large and hard to answer. Being more specific in your questions helps. "How I did it" is very... large in scope. That question could be answered just by saying, "I did it by never wanting anything else and never losing sight of my goal." But that doesn't help you much. So I'll just try to touch on some key points and contexts.

I'm 32. Only in the last couple years has my practice been enough to make a living doing it. I've always wanted this and literally everything I've done in my life has been to get here. I've worked two jobs my entire working life (age 19-now): retail/customer service and art stuff on the side. Because of the pandemic, I got double unemployment and stimulus checks, which became my initial investment into merch and savings safety net to get started. I started therapy to address my fears of asking for help, my negative self-talk, and catastrophic thinking. (Therapy has helped me with my art so much.) Then I was laid off for real in 2020 and hit the ground running with art. I split rent with roommates, I live very very cheaply, and art is my passion. If art for a living is what you want to do and you're happy to make lots of concessions to get it, this career works. It takes a while to get momentum and regular sales/attention-- just don't quit. The more stuff you do the more people will recognize you and like your work.

It would be dishonest to not address my privilege here, too. My parents have always emotionally supported my practice, my friends too, and I got to go to art school with no debt. I did outside of school art mentorships. My art education experiences taught me a lot of art techniques and self-employed skills and that only happened due to the support of my folks. I had resources a lot of people don't. (Which is why I want to help new artists learn this stuff as much as I can; not everyone is as lucky as I am.)

My advice for you if you want to do what I do, which is being self-employed making and selling art and art merchandise for a living:

Get used to making concessions right at first. Your art career will probably not start out gangbusters, so get used to low sales and saving money and working hard. Make things within your means and grow from there.

Fuck around and find out. Try making merch, try making videos, try things you see other artists doing, try everything and see if it works for how you like to make stuff. I learn so much from YouTube, to be totally honest. Artists are good sharers.

Follow a shit ton of artists and see what works for them. Join artist groups and ask thoughtful, specific questions to learn from those already doing it.

Learn how to write about your art. Write about why you make it. It helps make it more compelling to others. "How to Sell Your Art Online" by Cory Huff is a good book to read for tips on this.

Develop a healthy relationship with art-making. If you sit down at a blank page and it terrifies you: address that first. Don't try to start a business if you're still struggling with making art regularly.

In fact, don't start a business until you're really ready. Art comes first. You can easily do art and build skills and do commissions and run an online shop along with working a job that pays bills reliably while you grow into the artist you're meant to be.

Don't pigeon-hole yourself into only one channel: don't JUST apply to cons, try street fairs too. Don't JUST sell online, get your work into cafes as well. You'll see which routes are more profitable/worth the time as you try them out. Eggs in many baskets, you know.

There's probably a whole essay I could write on this. And you're right--mileage varies between person to person vastly. The part of the world you live in, your access to transportation, education, your mental health, what type of work you like to make, etc. Art careers almost never look the same 1:1 even in fandom spaces like furry/anime. If you're self-made, it will reflect that.

I recommend the YouTube channels Rafi Was Here, Robin Sealark, Cat Graffam, and the website The Abundant Artist (again by Cory Huff) for more resources.

Don't be afraid to take leaps of faith. Try everything. Be true to what works for you and what doesn't feel sustainable. Be authentic with your art and stay true to your interests. And good luck.

#art career #freelance artist #independent artist #art job #self employed #art

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jrob64 · 8 months ago

Text

Pet for Rent , Chapter 3/4 (The Adoption) A CS Modern AU Story

Ready for Chapter 3? Here we go!

Thanks to all of you who are reading and liking this story that was purely written because it was therapeutic for me. It was a year ago today that my Zeke was diagnosed with cancer. This is also written for all of you who have sent a beloved pet over the rainbow bridge yourself. I hope you find it an uplifting story, even though it was born from a broken heart.

Chapters on Tumblr - Ch 1 (The Meet Cute) Ch 2 (The Idea)

Chapter summary: Emma and Killian go out on a date, and Winston has his 'gotcha' day.

Rating: M (for smut in the last chapter, which can easily be skipped if that's not your thing)

Words: 7108

Also posted to Ao3 and ffn

Story begins under the cut

“Wake up, kid,” Emma said the next morning, gently shaking her son.

Henry rolled over and rubbed his eyes, then looked at the Minecraft clock on his nightstand. “You never wake me up this early on Sunday.”

“I know, but we’re going to church today.”

He pushed himself up in bed, yawning widely. “We usually watch it virtually, though. You said you like to do it that way.”

“Yeah well, today I thought we would go to Gentle Shepherd Church. I’ve heard good things about it, including the fact that it has a Sunday School class for you and an adult one for me.””

“I thought only kids had Sunday School classes.”

“Well, Killian said the adult class is more like a Bible Study.”

“So this is the church where Killian goes?”

“Yeah. It is,” Emma said.

“Oh, boy!” Henry exclaimed, throwing the covers off and jumping out of bed. “That’s where Mr. and Mrs. Nolan go, too!”

Emma laughed. “I guess you do pay attention sometimes.”

“Do I have to dress up?”

“Killian said it’s casual. Just wear your khakis and a nice shirt. I’m going to get breakfast started.”

“Can we have pancakes?”

“If you promise not to get syrup on your clothes,” she replied, as she left the room.

As they ate, Henry wondered aloud if anyone from his class at school went to the church they were going to attend.

“It’s very possible, there are only three churches in town.”

“That would be cool! Are we going to sit with Killian?” he asked, before shoving a huge forkful of pancake in his mouth.

“Take smaller bites, Henry. I don’t want to have to give you the Heimlich manuever this morning.” That earned her a mischievous grin around his mouthful of food. “I don’t know who we’ll sit with, honestly. Belle and Liam go to that church, also.”

Henry swallowed. “They do? I haven’t seen Belle for a long time, and I never met Liam.”

“It has been a while. Hopefully, we’ll be seeing her more often.” She took a drink of her coffee, then slowly set the mug back on the table. “Listen Henry, I need to tell you something.”

He swirled his last bite of pancake through the small lake of syrup on his plate, then looked up at her curiously. “What?”

“I, uh, I talked to Killian last night after you went to bed, and um, he asked me to go out with him.”

Henry’s eyes widened. “On a date?”

“Yeah.”

“When?”

“Tuesday evening. I’m going to ask Belle if she can watch you. Is that okay?”

“Uh-huh,” he said, his shoulders rising and falling in a non-chalant shrug. “Where are you going?”

“Out to eat at that nice Italian restaurant down by the harbor.”

“Okay,” he said, then put the remainder of the pancake in his mouth.

“Are you sure you don’t mind?”

He swallowed before saying, “I like Killian. He’s always really nice to me, and to you, too. Plus he likes soccer and dogs.”

Emma chuckled. “I guess that makes him a good guy, huh?”

Henry nodded, grinning widely. “Yep.”

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Emma pulled into the parking lot, marveling at the number of vehicles already parked there. She hadn’t realized so many people attended the church.

When she first came to town, she took Henry to a different church a few blocks away, but they didn’t have a nursery and Henry was too active to sit still through an entire service. By the time it was over, she was worn out from trying to keep him quiet, received several dirty looks from sanctimonious people, and had gotten nothing out of the sermon. After a few weeks, she gave up and started watching live church services that were posted on YouTube instead.

“There’s Killian’s car,” Henry piped up from the back seat, having spotted his black Elantra.

Emma pulled into the open space beside it and cut the engine. Looking in the rearview mirror, she pushed strands of hair behind her ear and checked her lipstick.

“You look good, Mom,” Henry said. “I haven’t seen you wear a dress for a long time.”

She smiled at him in the mirror. “Thanks, kid. I haven’t had a reason to wear one for a while. I figured I might as well since they’ve just been hanging in my closet.”

They exited the car and approached the building, wondering which door to enter.

“Hi, Henry!” a voice called from behind them.

They turned to see one of Henry’s classmates from school “Hey, Nicholas! I was hoping some of my friends would be here.”

“John, Devin and Mike will be here, too. We’re all in class together, and so are some of the girls.” Both boys rolled their eyes.

“Be nice,” Emma admonished.

They followed Nicholas and his family in through the side door, which led to the Sunday School rooms at the back of the church building. Emma walked with her son back to the class room where Nicholas led them, and met his teacher, Miss Bell.

“The kids all call me Tink,” she told Emma when she introduced herself. “Because of my last name, and the fact that apparently I look like a fairy.”

Emma laughed. “I suppose I can see that,” she said, taking in the petite form of the other woman. After seeing that Heny seemed to be comfortably settling in, she returned to the hallway, searching for the area where the adult class met.

“Emma!”

She turned to see Belle approaching, Liam’s hand clasped in her own as he trailed behind his fiancée. “Hey, you guys. It’s good to see you,” Emma said.

“You, too,” Belle chirped. “After all the times I’ve invited you to join us here at church, what made you decide to come today?”

Liam draped his arm around Belle’s shoulder. “Come now, Sweetheart, do you really need to ask that question? I think she might have gotten an invitation from my little brother.”

“Younger brother, you mean.” Emma turned to see Killian walking up behind her. “Good morning, Belle, Liam. Good morning, Swan. I’m very happy to see you made it. Is Henry already in his classroom?”

“Yeah, I just dropped him off. He’s excited to know several of the other kids.”

“Good! Our class meets in there,” he said, gesturing to a large room to her right.

They walked in to see two dozen people milling around, chatting with one another. Emma instantly spotted Henry’s school teacher, who smiled and waved when she saw her enter the room. Then she saw David walk in with two cups of coffee, one of which he handed to his wife.

“Would you like some coffee, Emma?” Killian asked.

“Uh, sure. That would be great. One sugar, please.”

“Have a seat anywhere. I’ll be right back.”

She watched him go, then sought out Belle and Liam, who had struck up a conversation with the Nolans. Walking over, she smiled at everyone. “Hello.”

“Good morning!” David’s wife greeted cheerfully. “I’m so happy to see you here, Ms. Swan.”

“I’m happy to be here, but please call me Emma.”

“Of course, and you can call me Mary Margaret, although Mrs. Nolan might be a little less of a mouthful!”

David chuckled, looking at his wife adoringly, before turning his eyes toward Emma. “This is the first time you’ve been to this church, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is. I’ve gotten into the habit of watching church services on YouTube on Sunday mornings, but with Henry getting older, I wanted to find a church that offered classes for a kid his age. Killian was telling me about the Bible study and the Sunday School program here and I thought we would give it a try.”

“Did I hear my name?” Killian said, coming up beside her. He gave her the coffee and a grin.

“Aye, we were just talking about the world’s biggest pratts,” Liam said.

“Liam!” Belle admonished, elbowing him. “We’re in church!”

“Could everyone please take their seats so we can get started?” a man with curly, red hair announced.

“That’s Archie, the teacher of the class,” Killian told Emma, gesturing to two open seats.

They sat down with Belle on Emma’s right and David on Killian’s left. “He’s the town psychiatrist, isn’t he?” Emma asked quietly.

“Aye. He leads excellent discussions in class and is great at getting everyone involved.”

Forty-five minutes later, Emma completely agreed with Killian’s statement about Archie Hopper. She thoroughly enjoyed the Bible study and was eager to find out if Henry liked his class, too. That question was answered when she stepped out into the hallway and her son came bounding toward her, grinning from ear to ear.

“How was it, kid?” she asked, unnecessarily.

“It was great, Mom! Can we come back next week?”

The church service proved to be inspirational and quite enjoyable, too. They sat in a pew between Killian, and Nicholas’ family. Afterwards, they stayed and chatted with several people Emma recognized from town, all of them making the newcomers feel very welcome.

When the service ended and it was time to leave, Emma and Killian shared a conspiratorial look before she asked Henry, “Hey kid, how would you like to have lunch with Killian?”

“At Granny’s?” he asked.

“No,” Killian chuckled. “Granny closes her diner on Sundays. Didn’t you see her in the choir?”

“Oh, yeah. I didn’t think about that,” Henry said. “Where will we go, then?”

“Killian invited us to his place to make sub sandwiches. How does that sound?”

Henry turned towards Killian. “Do you have bologna?”

Killian grimaced. “Afraid not. I won’t have that vile stuff in my home. I have ham, turkey, salami and cheese.”

“Ketchup?” Henry asked hopefully.

Trying to control another grimace, Killian said, “Aye, if you insist on it, I do have ketchup.”

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Killian lived in a two-story apartment building at the opposite end of town from Emma and Henry’s house. After they made their sandwiches and ate lunch, Killian showed them around. Besides the open kitchen/dining/living room area, it included a decent sized bathroom and two bedrooms, one of which he used as his office for work.

His apartment was on the first floor, and the sliding back doors opened out into a fenced-in common area for the building. The yard wasn’t huge, but it was big enough for a swing set for the children who lived there, as well as an open, grassy space, shaded by a couple of large trees.

As Henry stood looking around the area, Killian moved behind him and put his hands on his shoulders. “What do you think, lad? Is the yard big enough for a dog?”

Henry slowly turned his head to look up at him. “Are you getting one?”

Emma moved to stand in front of him. “Killian and I have been talking. I’ve been saying it wouldn’t be fair to adopt Norman because he would have to be cooped up in a crate all day…”

“But I work from home, so I’m here all day…”

“So if we adopted Norman…” She looked up at Killian, encouraging him to continue.

“I could take care of him during the day and he would stay with you in the evenings and overnight.”

Henry’s head was swiveling back and forth as the adults explained their plan, the confused look on his face morphing into one of surprise and cautious happiness. “So…so you’re saying we’re gonna adopt him?”

“If you promise to help take care of him and train him to obey,” Emma said.

“I will! I promise!” he shouted, flinging his arms around her waist. “Thank you, Mom!”

“You’re welcome,” she said, kissing the top of his head. “We wouldn’t be able to do it without Killian, though.”

Immediately he ended their hug and turned to give Killian one. “Thank you!”

“You’re very welcome, lad. I’m looking forward to having Win-, er, Norman as a companion, too.”

“We really ought to decide on one name,” Emma said. “He’s going to be confused if we’re calling him two different things.”

“Well, I suppose the better choice is Norman, since that’s the name the shelter gave him.”

“Do you think Norman is a good name, Mom?” Henry asked.

Emma shrugged her shoulders. “One name is as good as the other, as far as I’m concerned. You and Killian figure it out.”

“Let Henry name him,” Killian said. “I consider the dog to be his.”

“What do you think, kid?”

Henry scrunched up his face in thought. “Remember the book you read to me a long time ago that had a really mean woman in it? Her name was Norman, wasn’t it?”

“Her name was Norma,” Emma chuckled.

“It kinda sounds the same and you had to stop reading that book because she scared me, remember?”

“Are you saying you prefer Winston?”

He lifted one shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. “I guess. Is that alright?”

“Fine by me. Like Killian said, it’s up to you.”

“Winston will be so happy we’re adopting him!” Henry declared.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Killian called David the next day to tell him of their plans to adopt the dog. David was very excited and told Killian the paperwork would be ready and he would have Winston fully vetted, licensed, chipped and groomed by the time they picked him up on Saturday.

When Killian called to relay this news to Emma that evening, she said, “I’ll pay the adoption fees, since he’s going to be Henry’s dog.”

“Emma…”

“No, I want to do this. That way, if you do move away, I won’t feel bad about you paying for a dog you don’t get to keep.”

He was quiet for several moments, considering her offer. “Okay, I’ll agree on one condition - that you let me pay for his food, treats and toys for the first month.”

“That will probably add up to more than the adoption fees,” she teased.

“That’s entirely possible,” he agreed, chuckling. “I understand Liam is going to come over with Belle to watch Henry tomorrow evening. Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, I already talked to Belle about it today. I told her not to do anything that might scar my kid.”

Killian laughed again. “Poor Belle, she’ll have to make sure two kids behave.”

They chatted for another hour, finalizing plans for their date and discussing everything they would need for Winston. When they finally ended the call, Killian sat staring at his phone for several minutes, deep in thought. Emma’s comment about him possibly moving away had him mentally ticking off the pros and cons of such a move.

When he finished, he had far more reasons to stay, and the one at the top of the list was Emma Swan.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

“Mom! Belle and Liam are here!” Henry yelled.

Emma quickly finished applying her tinted lip glss, then did a final inspection in the full-lenth mirror. She was wearing a 3⁄4 sleeve deep red dress with a modest V neckline, the straight hemline falling just above her knees. Her ensemble was completed with black heels, silver jewelry and a black clutch purse. She’d spent extra time applying smokey eye makeup and curling her hair, which fell loosely down her back.

Satisfied with her reflection, she pulled her black and white houndstooth peacoat out of the closet and left the bedroom. Henry was just getting ready to open the door when she entered the living room.

“I’ll get the door, kid. You know I don’t like you to open it.”

“But I already saw who it is,” he protested.

“Sorry, but that’s the rule,” she reminded him, moving to the door as a knock sounded. She opened it to reveal Belle with Liam standing close behind.

“Oh, Emma, you look lovely!” the other woman exclaimed.

“She’s right,” Liam agreed. “You look far too nice to be going out with my little brother.”

Emma laughed and gestured them inside. “Thank you, but I think he would object to being called your little brother.” She took their coats to hang up, showed them where the emergency numbers were, and gave them instructions for Henry’s bedtime routine.

Just as she finished, there was another knock on the door. Before going to answer it, she gave the engaged couple a nervous smile and ran her hands down the front of her dress.

When she opened the door, all her nerves seemed to fly away, replaced with a sense of happiness at the prospect of going out with the man in front of her. Killian stood there, scratching behind his ear, a habit she found incredibly endearing. He was dressed in dark gray slacks, a white button down shirt and navy blue sports coat. She was pleased to see his eyes widen slightly when he saw her.

“Swan, you look…stunning,” he said.

“Thank you, Killian. You clean up pretty well yourself.”

“Hi, Killian!” Henry piped up, coming to stand beside his mother.

“Hello, lad. Are you ready for a fun evening with Belle?”

“What about me?” Liam asked, appearing behind Henry. “I’m a fun guy.”

“You make yourself sound like a mushroom, brother,” Killian snickered.

Liam folded his arms over his broad chest. “Are you really sure you want to go out with this idiot, Emma?”

“Yes, she is,” Belle said, “and the two of you are wasting time with your banter. Emma, you and Killian go and have a wonderful time. Don’t worry about Henry. He’s in good hands.”

“I know,” Emma said, bending down to kiss her son’s cheek. “Be good and listen to Belle and Liam, okay?”

“I will. Have fun, Mom.” Wrapping his arms around her, he added, “I love you.”

“I love you too, kid.”

“Goodnight, lad,” Killian said, ruffling the boy’s hair.

“‘G’night, Killian. See you Saturday!”

During their exchange, Emma went to get her coat and purse from the kitchen chair where she left them. When she returned, Killian took the coat from her and held it up for her to put on. After saying their final goodbyes, he escorted her down the sidewalk to his car, his hand resting on the small of her back.

Once they were both buckled into the comfortable leather seats, he looked over at her, picked up her hand, brought it to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of it. “You truly do look beautiful this evening, Love.”

“Thank you,” she replied, knowing that her cheeks were beginning to turn the same color as her dress.

Giving her one more smile, he started the car and pulled away from the curb. Emma had wondered if things would be awkward between them during the date, but they carried on their conversation just as easily as they had from the very first day.

Each time she went out with a man, she caught herself constantly checking the time on her phone and wondering how Henry was doing. Tonight however, she was so caught up enjoying the good food, wine, and the handsome man she was with, she completely lost track of time. When she finally checked her phone screen as they pulled up in front of her house, she was shocked to find it was nearly eleven o’clock.

Killian opened her door and offered his hand to help her out of the car. They continued holding hands as they strolled casually up the sidewalk, the early autumn air cool against their cheeks.

When they reached her front door, she turned to him with a demure smile. “I suppose this is where I tell you I had a wonderful time and debate whether or not I should give you a kiss.”

He chuckled lowly. “Aye, I suppose it is. So tell me, Swan, what’s the verdict? Did you have a wonderful time?”

She put her hands on his chest, rubbing them over the lapels of his jacket. “Yes, I did. I don’t date very often, and this is by far the best date I’ve had in a very long time, maybe ever. I find it very easy to talk to you.”

“I feel the same, Emma,” he said, taking a step closer to her. “Now, have you made your decision about…”

She didn’t give him a chance to finish. Pushing up on her toes, she pressed her lips to his, wrapping her arms around his neck as she felt his encircle her waist. She intended the kiss to be brief, but found she quite enjoyed it and didn’t want it to end.

It was interrupted when the light outside her front door suddenly turned on, nearly blinding them despite their eyes being closed.

“What the bloody…” Killian began, just as the door swung open.

“Tsk, tsk, little brother,” Liam said with a maddening smirk on his face. “Kissing on the very first date? Wouldn’t that be considered bad form?”

“Liam, bloody hell!” Killian retorted.

At the same time, Belle’s voice could be heard from the living room. “Liam Albert Jones! That was mean! Just for that, you won’t be getting a kiss from me tonight when you take me home!”

As Liam pleaded his case, Emma giggled into Killian’s chest. “I guess our date is officially over.”

“Next time, could you please ask Belle not to bring my wanker of a brother along to watch Henry?”

“Next time?” Emma questioned. “I don’t remember you asking for a second date.”

Killian reached around her to close the door, then gazed into her eyes. “Will you go out with me again?” he asked quietly.

Her eyes darted back and forth between his, floored at the depth of hope and sincerity she saw there. She opened her mouth to answer him, but instead found herself kissing him again. This time, when they separated, she leaned her forehead against his with a sigh of contentment.

��May I take that as a yes?” he whispered.

“Absolutely,” she breathed. “Thank you for a fun and memorable evening, Killian.”

“It was my pleasure, Emma. I’ll call you tomorrow.”

“Okay.” Turning around, she opened the door slightly, then glanced back over her shoulder. “Goodnight, Killian.”

“Goodnight,” he replied.

She went inside and closed the door, leaning against it with a dreamy smile on her face. She had nearly forgotten she wasn’t alone, and was startled when Belle spoke.

“If that look on your face is anything to go by, I don’t need to ask if you had a good time.”

Emma could feel herself blushing, but gave her friend a smile and said, “I really did. We’re planning to go out again. By the way, Killian requested that if you watch Henry when we do, you forbid Liam to come along with you.”

While Belle laughed, Liam said, “Henry will disagree with that. He had a lot of fun with his Uncle Liam tonight.”

Emma’s jaw dropped. “You told him to call you ‘uncle’? Why did you do that?”

“He didn’t, he’s pulling your leg,” Belle explained, glaring at her fiancé. “I’m happy to report that Henry was much better behaved than Liam, who is going to have to earn his way back into my good graces.”

Hiding her giggle behind her hand, Emma listened to the couple playfully bicker, still able to feel Killian’s kiss on her lips and the happiness in her heart.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

On Friday, Emma picked Henry up from his after school sitter Ashley’s house and they went to Killian’s apartment. He insisted on making them homemade pizza before going to the store to buy necessities for Winston.

Henry chattered animatedly throughout supper, the topics ranging from how much he loved the pizza and who he sat with at lunch, to the new book he checked out at the school library. Most of all, he talked about all the things he and Winston would do together and how he would train him.

Emma and Killian shared humorous glances across the table while they listened. Since their date, they had texted each other a few times during the day and carried on lengthy phone conversations every evening after Henry went to sleep.

When they pulled into the parking lot of the pet supply store, Killian turned off the car as Emma looked back at her son. “Now, remember Henry, we have quite a bit of stuff left from Ernie, so we’re not going to buy a lot, okay?”

“Okay, but we can help Killian pick out everything he needs, right?”

Before Emma could answer, Killian said, “Of course, lad.”

“You might regret that,” she murmured, earning her a grin.

As they browsed the aisles, Emma slipped her hand into Killian’s. She felt him give it a squeeze and looked over to see him gazing at her with a warm smile. Then she turned her attention back to her son, who was examining the assortment of collars and leashes.

“What color do you think Winston likes better - red or orange?”

“Dogs are color blind, kid,” Emma informed him, “so I don’t think he will care one way or another.”

“Oh, yeah,” Henry said. “Well, which one do you like, Killian?”

“I recently developed quite a fondness for red,” he answered, giving Emma a wink. She blushed, knowing he was referring to the dress she wore for their date.

“That’s my favorite, too,” Henry declared, selecting a red leash from the rack. Emma and Killian helped him pick out a matching collar that was the right size for the fifty pound dog. They were added to the cart Henry was pushing, then they moved on to the aisle containing the dog beds.

As they looked over the display, Emma took the leash from the cart and studied the tag. “This says it’s good for dogs up to fifty pounds,” she read. “I think we should get the next bigger size, don’t you?”

Henry and Killian both agreed, and Emma left to go replace it. When she returned, she stopped short at the end of the aisle, blinking back sudden tears. Henry was kneeling on the floor in front of the beds, running his hands over them as he carried on a commentary about which one was the softest. Killian crouched beside him, his hand on the boy’s back, his attention completely focused on what Henry was saying.

For eight years, Emma denied herself a relationship with a man because she hadn’t met one that she thought would be a good match, not only for her, but more importantly for her son. Either they got skittish when they found out she had a son, or they tried too hard, overcompensating for their lack of experience with kids.

Then, thanks to a simple mistake on her part, she met a man who was fitting into their life so naturally, it was almost too good to be true. Her heart as a mother swelled witnessing how well Killian and Henry got along and what a truly wonderful role model Killian was for her son. At the same time, her heart as a woman fluttered at the possibility of finding someone who could be a perfect match for her.

Taking in a deep, steadying breath, she walked down the aisle to join the two most important people in her life.

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Saturday morning, Henry knelt on the sofa, his arms crossed on the back of it as he watched intently out the window for Killian’s car. Emma shook her head at her son’s impatience, but in all honesty, she was just as excited for the man to arrive.

Once they finished shopping the previous evening, Killian invited them in to watch a movie. The three of them browsed through the options on Killian’s streaming platforms, ultimately allowing Henry to choose The Super Mario Bros. Movie.

Killian made a huge batch of popcorn and the three of them settled on the couch to watch. Henry sat in the middle, holding the bowl with his eyes glued to the screen. Emma and Killian found themselves enjoying the movie too, even though they originally didn’t think it would hold any interest for them.

By the time the final credits rolled, the boy’s head was lolling against Killian’s arm. When Emma tried to get her son to wake up so they could go home, Killian took pity on the sleepy child and easily lifted him into his arms to carry him to Emma’s car. Before getting in the car herself, she and Killian shared a short, sweet kiss and she promised to call after Henry was in bed.

After arriving home and getting her son settled, Emma talked to Killian until she was starting to fall asleep and he teased her about finding him boring. The entire evening caused her emerging feelings for him to deepen even more.

Now, she was standing behind her son, watching for the familiar black car to turn the corner.

“Do you think he forgot?” Henry asked.

“He said he would be here at nine-thirty and he has ten more minutes. Try to be patient.”

Henry turned around, sat down, then rested his head against the back of the couch and heaved a sigh. “I just want to go get my dog.”

“I know, kid,” Emma soothed, rubbing her hand over his hair. “I’m excited to bring him home, too.” Glancing out the window, she smiled and said, “Look who’s here.”

His head shot up and he jumped off the couch, shouting, “He’s here! He’s here! Let’s go!”

Killian didn’t even have a chance to put the car in park before Henry was sprinting out the door, with his mother following behind him, still pulling on her coat.

Killian had just climbed out of the car when Emma reached the end of the sidewalk. “He’s a little eager to get there,” she said dryly.

“You don’t say,” Killian chuckled, looking into the back seat where Henry was already buckled in, nearly vibrating with excitement. Brushing a kiss against her cheek, Killian placed a hand on the small of her back to escort her around the rear of the car.

When they arrived at the shelter, Henry jumped out, clutching the new collar and leash in his hands. “C’mon, Mom,” he urged, hopping from foot to foot as he waited impatiently for the adults.

“Hold your horses, kid,” Emma replied, stepping from the car and closing the door as Killian did the same. “We have to sign some paperwork and pay the adoption fees, so it’s going to be a little while before Mr. Nolan brings Winston to you.”

“I know,” he said, “but the faster we go in there, the sooner we’ll get him.”

“You’ve got a point,” Emma agreed.

The three of them crossed the parking lot and Killian held the door for them to go inside. David was sitting at the desk behind the counter, a huge grin creasing his face when he saw them enter.

“Good morning!” he greeted. “I think Nor-, um, Winston senses something is going on. He was very excited when I fed him and let him out in the exercise yard this morning.”

“He probably knows it’s his ‘gotcha day’!” Henry declared. Turning to his mother, he added, “I told you he’s smart!”

David chuckled as he spread the paperwork out on the counter. After explaining each page, Emma signed where he told her and wrote a check for the fees. Henry gave him the collar so he could attach the dog license and chip information to it, then he asked the boy if he wanted to go with him to get Winston. To no one’s surprise, Henry jumped at the chance.

While they waited, Emma moved closer to Killian, reaching out to take his hands. “Thanks again for helping make this happen. It’s been hard watching Henry grieve for Ernie and have to tell him we can’t get another dog.”

“I can imagine, Love. I’m very happy I could help.” Dipping his head, he met her willing lips to share a kiss with her. After it ended, he said, “We need to plan our next date.”

“Yeah, about that,” she said, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, “I’m not sure it’s a good idea to leave Winston with Belle and Liam until he gets a little more used to his surroundings.”

He nodded in understanding. “That’s true. Well, if we can’t go out on a date, perhaps we can plan one where we stay in.”

“At my place or yours?”

Before he had a chance to answer, the door to the back opened and Winston came through, straining forward on his leash and practically dragging Henry behind him. Emma and Killian bent down to try to pet the whirling dervish of a dog, attempting to get him to settle down.

“I think you’re right about him knowing something special is happening, Dave,” Killian said. “I’ve never seen him act this way.”

“Dogs seem to have instincts about these things,” David noted.

“Is he ready to go?” Emma asked.

“Yep, he’s all yours!” David replied happily. Reaching down, he scratched the dog behind the ears. “Be good, Winston. Enjoy your new family!”

They went out the front door, laughing at the way the dog practically strutted to the car. Once they were all buckled in, including Winston with his new doggy safety belt, Killian drove out of the parking lot. Henry patted the dog’s head and said, “You’ll never have to come back here again, boy. You’re going to live with us forever.”

The drive back to Emma’s seemed to go much more quickly than the one to the shelter. Killian pulled up to the curb and Emma reminded Henry to hold tightly to Winston’s leash so he wouldn’t run into the street.

Killian walked up the sidewalk behind them, but stopped short of following them into the house. When Emma realized it, she asked, “Aren’t you coming in?”

“I, uh, I didn’t want to assume.”

“If you don’t mind sharing me with a boy and a dog, we can consider today a date,” she grinned.

He returned the grin. “Sounds good to me.”

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

After a full day of romping and playing with Winston, it was easy getting Henry to go to bed that evening. When Emma went into his room after he was done showering and brushing his teeth, she found him already under the covers with the dog laying beside him.

“He does have a bed, you know,” she said, without any intention of making the dog move.

“He likes it here, don’t you boy?” Henry said, rubbing the dog’s belly.

“If he needs to go out in the middle of the night, make sure you wake me up, okay?”

“I will,” he yawned. “Are we going to church tomorrow?”

“I’m planning on it. David said Winston seems to be crate trained, so we’ll see how he does in there for a couple of hours.”

They went through Henry’s bedtime routine and he was already asleep by the time she read one page of their current book.

“He’s one happy kid,” Emma said as she went back into the living room and sat down beside Killian on the sofa. “And you played a big part in making him feel that way.”

Killian toyed with the hem of his button-down. “You give me far too much credit, Love.”

“Why do you say that?” she asked, reaching out to tangle her fingers with his fidgeting ones.

“Because he’s been a happy lad since the first day I met him, and none of that was due to me. It goes to prove that he has a wonderful mother.”

“Some days I’m not so sure about that.”

He kept his head down, studying their entwined hands for several moments. Without looking at her, he said quietly, “Remember I told you that the woman I was dating previously was married?”

“Yeah.”

“She was several years older than me, and not only did she hide her marital status from me, she also failed to tell me she had a son.”

“Oh, wow,” Emma said. “That really must have come as a shock.”

“Aye, it did,” Killian affirmed. “One day after we broke up, I parked along the street down from his school and watched her arrive to walk him home. I wasn’t being a stalker, I was just curious. Her son was about the same age Henry is now, but he was nothing like your boy.” He finally looked up at her. “I’ve never seen a child look as sad and dejected as her son. It was as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his small shoulders.”

“Poor little boy.”

“Aye, and I’m sure it was because of the choices his parents made. They cared only for themselves and their own gratification, not about how they were affecting their son.” He reached forward to brush a wayward strand of hair away from her face. “Emma, it’s quite obvious that starting from your very first decision to bring Henry into the world and raise him by yourself, you’ve made his happiness your priority. It’s one of the things I admire the most about you.”

Her face warmed from his praise. Scooting a little closer, she leaned against him and he put his arm around her, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I enjoyed our date today,” he said, “and I certainly didn’t mind sharing you with Henry and Winston. It did my heart good to see how much they love each other already.”

“Winston was sleeping on Henry’s bed and looked completely comfortable there. I just hope he doesn’t wake us up too many times during the night.”

“Well, he’s past the puppy stage and wasn’t able to go out at night while he was at the shelter, so maybe he won’t get you up at all.”

“That would be nice. I don’t want to be yawning during the sermon tomorrow.”

He leaned back to look at her. “I’m happy to hear you’re coming to church again.”

“Yeah, Henry and I both really liked our classes and I thought the service was great. I especially enjoyed the music.”

“I heard you singing. You have a beautiful voice.”

“Thank you,” she said, her face reddening again. “I didn’t realize I was singing that loudly.”

“I don’t think you were, I was just standing close to you. You shouldn’t be self-conscious about singing praises to God, anyway.”

“That’s true,” she agreed, snuggling closer to him. “Do you want to watch something?”

“If it’s all the same to you, I’m quite content just talking,” he murmured.

“Mmm, me too,” she hummed. “Why is it always so easy to talk to you?”

“I don’t know. Perhaps we’re soul mates.”

“Do you believe there is such a thing as soul mates?” she asked, looking up into his face.

“I didn’t,” he replied. “Until I met you.”

Their lips connected for a long, sweet, languid kiss.

“Killian?” she whispered, when they parted just enough for her to talk.

“Yes, Love?”

“Maybe I’m not content just to talk.”

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Emma went to bed two hours later with the taste and feel of Killian’s lips still lingering on hers. He starred in her dreams and she awoke the next morning with a smile on her face. After yawning and stretching, she realized Henry hadn’t woken her up at all during the night to put Winston out.

Throwing back the covers, she quickly padded down the hall to his room. Peeking around the edge of his slightly open door, she smiled at the sight of the boy and dog still asleep.

After showering and getting dressed, she woke them up, took Winston out while Henry dressed, and went back inside to fix breakfast. As she was stirring the scrambled eggs, Henry entered the kitchen and immediately went to get Winston’s food bowl. They had already agreed that feeding him and keeping his water bowl filled would be Henry’s responsibility.

They sat down to eat and Emma smiled at the sight of the dog sitting right beside Henry’s chair. “Don’t forget that we’re not feeding him from the table. I don’t want him to get into the habit of begging, like Ernie did.”

“I know,” Henry said, then chewed thoughtfully for several seconds. He swallowed and said, “Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you love Killian?”

Emma really wished she hadn’t just taken a sip of coffee, because she nearly choked on it. With watering eyes, she asked, “What makes you think that?”

He shrugged. “You guys hold hands and sit really close together and everything. I even saw him kiss you. You have to love somebody to kiss them, don’t you?”

Emma’s mouth opened and closed a couple of times, resembling a fish out of water. She thought she and Killian had been discreet when they shared brief kisses, but apparently her son witnessed at least one of them.

“Killian and I, we…we’re just dating, Henry,” she finally managed to say. “People date to get to know each other, to…to see if they might, um, fall in love. Kissing is a part of dating, but it doesn’t mean we love each other.”

“So you don’t love him?”

“I…I honestly don’t know yet. I do like him and I like spending time with him. He’s fun and he makes me laugh.” She leaned across the table and placed her hand on top of Henry’s forearm. “How do you feel about me dating Killian? It’s always been just you and me. Would you be upset if he and I did fall in love?”

“Would you get married?”

The question took her by surprise, but she maintained eye contact with him, wanting to show him how much his opinion mattered. “Not without you being okay with it. You always come first, Henry, and I won’t do anything to make you unhappy.”

“I wouldn’t be unhappy if you fell in love with Killian and married him.”

“You wouldn’t?”

He shook his head decisively. “Nope. I like him. He’s really nice to me and I can tell he makes you happy. You smile and laugh a lot more when he’s around. I think it would be cool to have Killian as my dad. That’s what he would be if you got married, right?”

“Technically, he would be your step-dad, but that doesn’t make any difference and I’m sure it wouldn’t matter to Killian, either. I appreciate how he treats you and how he likes spending time with you.”

“Yeah, me too. And Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“I think you, me, Killian and Winston would make a great family.”

She smiled and gently squeezed his arm. “I think so too, kid.”

🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾🐾

Thanks so much for reading. The last chapter will be posted next week!

NEW TAG LIST:

@qualitycoffeethings @grimmswan @cs-rylie @wyntereyez @kmomof4 @hookedmom @ultraluckycatnd @paradiselady19 @xarandomdreamx @motherkatereloyshipper @lfh1226-linda @pawshapedheart @vampcoffeegyrl23 @tiganasummertree @bluewildcatfanatic @eleveneitherway @elfiola @kday426 @julieenchanted-swans @gingerchangeling @andiirivera @djlbg @jonesfandomfanatic @snowbellewells @anmylica @booksteaandtoomuchtv @cocohook38 @ilovemesomekillianjones@zaharadessert @lyssapup27 @undercaffinatednightmare @winterbaby89 @jennjenn615 @xsajx @jackieorioncat @teamhook @soniccat @jarienn972 @softkilly @kymbersmith-90 @apiratewhopines

#pet for rent #chapter update #chapter 3 #jrob64 #art by jrob64 #csff #cs fluff #cs smut #CS modern AU #Captain Cobra #ouat Captain Swan fanfic

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the-stardust-shard · 5 months ago

Note

What's it really like? How are the people in there? If you wanna answer I've always been curious cause Ive been told I should be in there

Honestly, it depends on your local laws / culture / country / region, but i’m in france so i’ll focus on my experience related to how it works here (incl. laws and such).

For reference, as of now i’ve done 2 stays, both of which were done in a private hospital and not a public one (which makes the experience itself vastly better by default, but still), and before my first stay in a private ward i’ve spent a bit of time in a local public one for single appointments (so no full-time admission but same grounds).

> What's it really like?

Boring. Mind-numbingly boring.

Your entire time schedule is strictly programmed so you spend most of your time stuck to it, waiting and waiting and waiting and waiting. i included below a photo of the schedule for here to show how much stuff there is inside.

A way i follow it to make it less grating is by noting down the “closing time” for each of those items, so i know when to come to arrive at the last minute when there’s little to no one left waiting, so i have the rest of my time free for myself or activities or whatever, but even then you’ll still have a nurse coming to check on you every so often and coming to berate you if you’re a bit late, so you’re always stuck to this stupid timetable.

time becomes so abstract that if you don’t have a personal watch / personal schedule for yourself, you always lose track of time or of the day. when on my first stay, i actually didn’t come with a watch (because my watch needs to be charged regularly and that’s done with a long power cable which is always confiscated) and until a friend brought one i spent my worst time completely lost and disconnected; i started noting down the day it was and how many days i was in on my hand to keep track of that.

that boredom always brings the worst, aka addictions to cope with that. cigarettes, soda, other binge snacking, and worse. if you’re in a group of people, you’ll often hear someone prompt for a smoke break. i didn’t smoke thanks to my husband bringing me my nicotine-free vape so i can have something to stim with, but i still drank around 100 cans (i have the number due to having collected all the caps) in less than 3 months.

a good thing is that it’s places with easy access to lots of other medical tools, so i’ve been able to see a few therapists, social workers, sports coaches, and that’s overall cool because it’s usually covered by the hospital where it would’ve been paid if i went to meet them outside.

A lot less waiting time and paperwork too, it’s handled for you, so it makes things less annoying to get going, especially if like me you struggle with paperwork and administrative bullshit.

as for the downtime between appointments / activities, it was filled with reading, listening to music, drawing, trading goods and services with other patients (yes, it’s one of the core components of psych ward), and once i felt safe enough to bring my laptop and such, watching series, playing games with other patients, etc.

my first stay gradually became better before the breakdown, but my second stay has been very isolated due to not finding anyone or any activity, so i’ve spent my entire stay reading books and listening to music in my room after having traded some snacks with some people who were going outside for the day.

the worst aspect for me was the food (an issue common with every stay tbf). as a vegan/vegetarian with allergies, i always got the most shitty and bland food possible (idk why in france they put meat in literally everything at every meal of the day), and that was actually what allowed me to leave the ward from my first stay; in less than 3 months i’ve lost 16kgs~ even with the snacking and the sport i did every day and i’ve been in tears at more than one meal due to how bad it was >> at this point i got used to not eating but it’s horribly bad and kinda scary for a medical site.

> how are the people here?

If i’m talking about other patients, the experience will be overall better imho. especially if you can find yourself a group of people in your age range or with similar experiences as you. it just feels.. a lot less judgemental and pressuring than outside. everyone’s fucked up in some way and nobody cares, we’re just here for the same reason and so we just hang out together and support each other when we can/want but even not doing that will not bring any judgement on you.

Staff is more awkward and uncomfortable, especially doctors and such (aka the ones with legal power over you) or administrative staff (aka the ones with power over the doctors and everyone else, but they’re so far up their asses in their comfy desk that they’re all always completely disconnected from reality, which makes their rare appearances very awkward and uncomfortable). On my first ward, i did find a few nurses that were pretty cool and with whom i’ve been able to have interesting or fun talk, but in the current ward i found no one, so the divide between them and us is really uncomfortable to handle.

in the public ward i went a few times for appointments (which was structured like an underground prison, full bars and all) though the med. staff was openly insulting of patients and such… i did witness and fight some shitty staff in the first ward too.

overall the staff is the most grating group, the one who can easily make the stay hellish and traumatize you even more if you’re not lucky.

still, among other patients i’ve been able to meet great friends with whom i’ve been able to spend a lot of good time even after my stay (one of those friends regularly comes to watch movies which we started on our stay, and the other is practicing tattooing with me, some others i’m still chatting with but don’t see as often though. these two specific people were pillars of mutual support during my stay)

you’ll note on the timetable below that it doesn’t even contain everything we need to keep track of in a day..

#psych ward

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demonofnowhere · 1 year ago

Text

Time’s Time: Time for Thomas (don’t interrupt him) & Time for Stelle (interrupt me ASAP)

* now, i once had a lovely introduction to this post. i did, honest. it discussed how twitter has gotten worse and worse, and how if things went well i will do my best to post more thomas stuff here, and even briefly mentioned what this post is actually about. . .

* then firefox crashed. * being new to tumblr, i had not saved a draft of my post. in fact, i found out you could save drafts mere minutes before firefox crashed. i thought to myself “wow! what a nifty feature!”, and then proceeded to not save it. this almost happened twice actually. i managed to save it the second time thankfully. i’m still livid though.

* thank you stelle, you are a really useless idiot.

* therefore, we’re not going to have that nice introduction. the only things you need to know from that post is that you can find me on Twitter (@DemonOfNowhere) for more of my usual infodumping, and that i’ve ditched my usual typing quirks in favour of making this post readable for you all. let’s get straight to the point instead. * greetings, i’m stelle, demon of nowhere (name change pending?), and it is unfortunately time for thomas.

Doesn’t it feel strange to see me type normally? With dignity? With even the slightest amount of respect for myself? Err, ahem, I mean... Thomas! I love Thomas. I love the ending of “Stepney’s Special” for Thomas.

Thomas tries very hard to maintain a very professional profile on his branch line. It’s likely something he picked up from Gordon, if his attempts to imitate him whilst he was younger are anything to go by (note “Thomas’ Train”). If you get in Thomas’s way, he kicks up such a fuss and holds it against you until either one of your gets a taste of Sudrian karma (”you” being Percy in this situation, usually). This all means that when Thomas is shunted to allow Stepney, a newcomer, fly past him with one measely coach while Thomas, Annie, Clarabel and their passengers crossly wait for him to pass, Thomas gets cross.

Really cross. Super cross. He holds it against Stepney and is still fuming by the time the next morning arrives.

Thomas spoils the effect of it very quickly though. Of course he does, he’s Thomas and he’s stupid. All Stepney had to do was give one compliment and next thing he knew, Thomas was telling him EVERYTHING about his branch like an eight-year-old telling their parent all about their cool new toy they got (don’t let Mattel hear about this). Stepney calls Thomas an expert once, and away Thomas goes, not only to stroke his own ego a little, but also just because he’s too happy to ramble about his prized branch line (which Percy and Toby clearly think is hilarious, based on the illustration...). He’s a bit like me in that sense; we like to ramble about things no one cares about, but we can’t stop ourselves. Please help me.

One of my favourite parts of this exchange is the following line: “Ah well,” said Thomas modestly.

“Modestly” is the funniest words ever used to describe Thomas the Tank Engine. You and I of course both know that, despite his good heart, he is anything but modest.

Now, there’s something else I’d like to talk about here too. If you’ve read my ramblings before, you know that I cannot type for five seconds without bringing up something else that I didn’t mean to bring up but brought up anyway. I’m silly like that.

If Thomas got mad at Stepney for interrupting his branch line’s timetable once...

...How would he feel about having a whole train that has to do everything in its power to NOT interrupt the usual services?

In notes of Ffarquhar’s layout, the land cruise enthusaist train is noted to be scheduled in-between regular services, and mustn’t disrupt traffic. This is implied to be more difficult than it ought to be, partially because rail enthusiasts are rail enthusiasts and getting them back into the coaches is a miserable experience for the station’s secretary, and partially due to shunting arrangements at Ffarquhar that are absolutely mind-boggling (a document I wrote up of Ffarquhar’s timetable, according to the Awdry DVD, can be found here!).

The moment the Bloomer, or whoever the enthusiasts’ engine happens to be, arrives, he has to square his fancy saloon coaches away to make room for Thomas, Annie and Clarabel’s next down service. So, imagine for me, what happens when Bloomer indulges the enthusiasts’ interest in him at the platform for a little too long, only for Thomas with his grumpy little face to huff into the station yard and start angrily shouting at Bloomer to Get Out Of His Way Or Else The Fat Controller Will Find Out And You Will Regret That.

Now, we of course know little of Bloomer, but I’ve always thought of him not quite as an old grandpa, but rather a showman who takes a lot of pride in his theatrics on a railway filled mainly of engines still in regular service. Bloomer doesn’t get to appear publicly very often, but when he does, he’s going to make it worthwhile. He’s going to bask in the spotlight for as long as he can, impressing everyone who is lucky enough to draw eyes on him, and he’s certainly no pushover. If Bloomer wants to spend time talking to the enthusiasts about his past life (though he has to keep SOME secrets, of course. Part of the act, a bit of mystery is always fun), then he’s going to spend as much time as he can doing just that -- which he always does.

This drives Thomas insane. A WHOLE TRAIN THAT COULD THROW ALL OF HIS TIMETABLE, ALL THAT HE’S WORKED FOR, OUT THE WINDOW SO EASILY? WHAT. The poor guy. He and Bloomer would be the ultimate enemies, egomanaics for different reasons that will forever butt heads while the other Ffarquhar engines would wish they’d just shut up for two seconds.

He cheerfully and dutifully shunts Annie and Clarabel along from the carriage shed... then he sees Bloomer’s ugly mug taking up the platform. “YOU,” Thomas hissed, grounding to a halt, “YOU’RE not supposed to be here.” “Ah,” Bloomer smiled sweetly, “Thomas my boy, I most certainly belong here. It’s part of my act for me to be right here, right now. ‘Tis merely part of my script.” “Right now!?” scoffed Thomas, as Annie and Clarabel chattered quietly behind, “Right now, you and your ugly great houses on wheels are meant to be by the cattle dock! Never mind your ‘act’, my Timetable is much more important! You always talk such nonsense.” “And you always talk ever so much, yet say very little,” mused Bloomer, “A script would do you well, improv is clearly not your strong suit, Thomas my darling. For such a famous little engine, you never seem to respect the life of a shining star. What a waste, what a waste. We Enthusiast Engines have far more than timetables to worry about, boy; we have fans to please.” Thomas wanted to retort, but was interrupted by a shrill, long blast of Bloomer’s whistle. “I hope you all enjoyed the first part of the show!” Bloomer called to his passengers, as he began to back away, “We shall return after our intermission, and I have no doubt you shall all be there to witness the Grand Finale of today’s display! Make sure to be there at 6 o’clock sharp. After all, Time’s Time.” Bloomer winked in Thomas’s direction. Thomas’s face was redder than Bloomer’s paint, and he had practically vanished behind a thick cloud of steam. “What a horrid engine!” he grumbled to Annie and Clarabel when he finally made it to the platform, “He thinks the whole railway revolves about him, and expects everyone to work at HIS pace! The shame of it, the shame of it...” Annie and Clarabel really thought it all rather ironic.

This is all made funnier by the fact that once the enthusiasts’ train leaves Ffarquhar for the junction, it crosses Thomas with Annie and Clarabel going up the line at Elsbridge. Thomas has yet another chance to start bickering with Bloomer, especially when the Ffarquhar secretary likely couldn’t get the stragglers into Bloomer’s coaches in time (and Bloomer of course didn’t help her one bit). Their next rowl shall be exciting stuff for all involved -- except Annie and Clarabel, who have tried reasoning with Thomas the whole time, but haven’t quite been able to get through to their stubborn engine.

Now, realistically, I had planned to do a bit more talking rather than writing a whole scene. However, much like Thomas, improv isn’t my strong suit, and I hadn’t at first planned for this to be a Bloomer discussion, and perhaps this has gone on for long enough. Whoops!

What have we learnt today? Well, personally, I’ve learnt that I probably need to get the hang of writing these posts. This probably hasn’t worked out super well. Those of you who are more familar with this site are probably cringing so hard at me right now, and you’re entirely right to do so. For shame, me, for shame...

Usually, I like to round these off with a nice, poetic conclusion about what we’ve discussed today... but really I didn’t know that this post was going in the direction it went into. I mainly wrote this to get my foot in the door and finally post something of substance here. Apparently my second to most popular post here is talking about how fucking funny Terence the Tractor here. Can we change that please? Terence the Tractor is funny but... I can do better than that...

Well, no, no I can’t.

...

You know, I meant to start using my typing quirks again at the end of the post.

But now we’re here, and it doesn’t feel right for me to start using them.

...

I’m doing an awful job at ending this.

...

Maybe Terence the Tractor IS the best I can do.

Hmm.

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