#thank you for the existential crisis dw!

[lady-disdain221b]

Me: *watching the new season of doctor who*

Ruby Sunday:

Me:

[11queensupreme11]

Good time of day for you, Queen! Thank you for new chapter and good man Baldr. His story was very tragic, it’s so sad Loki killed one of more decent gods in ror universe. I think, he could help Percy, if he was alive(or speedrunned to soft yandere very fast, he kind of gives of that vibe). Also you gave as sneak peak to how Loki as yandere works, and he is quite deranged, thank you. Would he try to steal Percy eyes for his doll? Now he knows how he feels about her, so his behavior around her will change too? And it's very cute how Beel tells himself, he never come close to Percy. He's devil, he's father of lies.

P.S. looks like Poseidon had his first existential crisis, while Percy was absent. Hope it's not his last😌

P.P.S I think I know what Loki sees in his drunken nightmares

IS THAT A BONER ON LOKI?? 😭😭😭

I love this so much 😭💖

his unhinged indecisive ass would TOTALLY have a nightmare AND wet dream about this dowjsndjskqjand

(and as for ur question, loki wouldn't gauge out her eyes for his percy doll, dw he wants the real thing, not the doll 😂)

[admirxation]

hello! could you recommend some leon x reader fics? I love your fics and the fics you reblog, so I was wondering if there was anything you would like to recommend. sorry to bother 😭😋

Hey there anon, thank you so much for the support and thank you so much for this ask, it's time to show some fics that I cannot stop thinking about. also dw about bothering me i love having asks <3

Just wanted to note that I also have a tag 'admirxation fic recs' if you're ever looking for some more recommendations and of course I reblog like mad with fics I love.

This isn't everything but I feel like it's a good handful to get yourself into. I will warn these recs are NSFW but if you're aware of my writing you know I literally nonstop thinking about smut haha.

some oneshots I recommend:

Pretty Owner by @elfven-blog -> smut 18+, hybrid puppy leon. AHHHH the hybrid craze has me in a chokehold like omfg, but i gotta say this is my all time favourite oneshot if you're looking for some hybrid fun.

step-dad oneshot by @chrosllo -> if you're a follower of my blog you know dark content is not a shy topic here, if you're looking for some stepcest, somno action this is where to go, I was blushing so goddamn hard when reading this.

Like Lovers Do by @dollfacefantasy -> 18+ public sex, with a friends with benefits vibe to it. hehehehehe i was kicking my feet blushing with every word

Pieces of a whole by @xoxostarlet -> 18+, older Leon and hooker reader (imagine the film pretty woman... but sexier and better) hehehehe i loved it, duh, the hooker fantasy is honestly such a turn on like im clawing at the bars of my enclosure HELP.

Heavenly creatures by @porcelainseashore -> 18+ Leon and catholic school girl. I read this one recently, and it does have a lot of religious imagery as well as catholic guilt, as someone who is an ex catholic i really resonated with the way it was written, it was such a weird experience like i was sitting there like i was here for a horny time now im having an existential crisis lmao. but it's a must read, their writing has a beautiful quality to it.

Teachers Pet by @d10nyx -> darker teacher x student relationship (power imbalance going on). If you're into the older Leon fics this is a yummy treat that I am not embarrassed to admit that I actually reread many times because it makes me feel all happy and good hehehehehe

Multipart series I recommend:

Should've been a son by @rigorwhoring -> this involves smut, noncon, incest (daddy daughter relationship), police corruption. If you're into dead dove this defo itches a certain scratch and this series left me on the edge of my seat at all times, it is also complete so if you wanna binge this series, go straight for it it's a really good read.

Into the Ether by @porcelainseashore -> 18+ with smut, angst, blood drinking, if you're really into vampires this is amazing. It is still being updated, but I would recommend getting straight into it, the updates are frequent and ah it deserves so much more love.

All the damn vampires by @elfven-blog -> we see a theme with my vampire obsession (my profile is literally astarion we are not shocked lmao). this series is a little slower in getting published (honey, I wait patiently for this series to return), but the writing in this is top tier.

Creepy re2 Leon, rpd Captain's Daughter reader by @valslullaby -> 18+, non-con, mommy kink, cannibalism. this one is another darker concept but ooooo does this writer have a way of connecting me with every word I LOVED IT SO MUCH AFFJKOYESGKUEWGJHRWA

[spicy-seaweed]

b4?

hehehehehehe thanks for requesting!! Made me super super happy after a bit of an existential crisis kinda night 😊🫶

you get Calla 🫶 such an absolute sweetheart and the first fully developed Zora OC for the au! 🥳🥳🥳 she’ll come into play pretty early on, dw

Dw she’s just dreaming about food rn— she don’t do “romance” lol

[gildeddlily]

I don't want Gojo suffering more and more for Geto's deflection, thinking ab their youth, I want their youth.

I just want Suguru with pierced ears and long hair meeting unhappy with his pathetic and lonely life Satoru Gojo. I want Gojo to be flabbergasted by Geto, and hate him for a bit, and fell in love with him after another bit.

I want Satoru-fell-first and Suguru-fell-harder.

I want Satoru being alone in the world, isolated by weak people who worshipped him and then finally meeting his equal, Suguru not understanding how much he matters to Satoru until he gets injured and Satoru's miserable and like "how can I be the strongest now that I've know this thanks to you" and Suguru's like "you can have both dw".

I want Satoru calling themselves the strongest in public for the first time, Suguru not believing him in his self-deprecating mind, ppl underestimating him bc of his origins and Satoru "think I'd have someone unworthy at my side? he's ten times what you are" and Suguru crying and Satoru being like "...what am I supposed to do"

I want Suguru comforting him when the Six Eyes overwhelm him.

I want Satoru discovering music and books, going to festivals and living thanks to Suguru, him meeting Suguru's family and watching films with him in his childhood room.

I want drunk Suguru flirting with Satoru, Satoru absolutely loving it but rejecting him cause the faintest smell of alcohol disgusts him.

I want sixteen Satoru realising his feelings and his latent homosexuality and being like "oh thank god I'll never have to marry some girl to have an heir.

wait what does it mean Suguru is-" and having gay panics over it.

I want him talking with Yaga, Yaga being miserable and saying things like "it's not something accepted" and Satoru being like "do I look like I care. do yk how yk, sex works for two g-" "SHUT UP"

I want him talking to Suguru ab it and out-since-twelve-Suguru being like "dw Satoru that's normal", and Satoru shouting out of the blue "make out with me"

I want existential crisis, and a lot of kissing, and comfort, and making out for the first time after killing a grade one curse together, and crying after fighting and giving each other gifts.

them being young, stupid and in love

(the plot of my next ff ofc)

[latoyalestrange]

THE FOOL

p. pascal x f!oc

Masterlist | Playlist

Summary: Naela wonders if her dream is worth her efforts. She's 25 now, and she's seen dozens of people's careers take off years before hers. Why can't she catch a break?

Words: 2.4k

Warnings: A lil childhood trauma thrown in there, loneliness, a quarter-life crisis. I'll make up for it, dw. Not edited bc I do what I want lol.

Taglist: @marvel-sw-lover , @lokislittle , @red-red-rogue

comment to be added to the taglist!

CHAPTER ONE -- HALF TRUTH

The beautiful in-between, the calm before the storm, or as Naela liked to call it, pure hell. The days, weeks, sometimes months she waited for her manager to call her with a verdict. She busied herself with her second job (the only one making her money) and other auditions in this period, but there was always a sense of existential-level dread that hung over her like a dark cloud everywhere she went. She could zone out for as long as her environment would let her, either daydreaming about getting the role or reminding herself of what she could've done better.

She was doing just that when she felt her phone buzzing on the leather booth next to her. She knew it could only be two people, her boyfriend or her manager. She recalled her last audition, a nameless Netflix show where, if she were to miraculously get the part, she would be a key character to the story. Tons of lines, a romance sub-plot, and even some character development. She also hated to admit it, but she really hoped it wasn’t her boyfriend.

It’s not that she didn’t love him, she did, but she loved acting so much more. They’d been together for close to three years. She had met him in her senior year at UCLA and they were a match ever since.

Sure enough, it was her manager, Mike's, name on her screen. Every single time he called, it left her breathless for a second. A familiar tightness in her chest and empty expression returned. She answered and hesitantly put the phone to her ear.

"Hello--"

"Naela!" She pulled her phone away, letting her eardrums recover. "Naela! Naela Rivera!"

"What? Why are you yelling?" She questioned him in a hushed tone, not wanting to attract attention on her break.

"You got the part! You're gonna be on a Netflix show!"

She was silent for a moment, then laughed, "What?" He must be joking.

"I'm serious! The Casting Director just called, the show is called Narcos, and you fly out to Columbia in two weeks." Silence again.

"I have work--"

"Hello?? So quit! You'll be shooting for six months anyway. Listen, I'll let you process this but I already told them yes. I'll send everything over." She blinked away the surprise on her face and nodded.

"O-okay, yeah, thanks..." She heard the line disconnect, but she held her phone up to her ear, still stunned, frozen.

God...this was everything she's ever wanted. She instantly thought of her fourteen-year-old self walking dogs, running lemonade stands, and babysitting every chance she got to save up. Then her at fifteen, getting her first job under the table and putting every bill they gave her in a jar. Then her at eighteen, spending so much of it to move to Los Angeles. Lastly, her now, at twenty-five...working forty-hour weeks, auditions on her days off and sometimes having to choose between an audition fee or food. On top of that, fighting with her boyfriend when she told him about her breakout role. Apparently she chose the job to spite him, knowing she’d be able to cheat on him with the illusion of it being part of her job. Eventually she convinced him that it was just a job and that she loved him, but all she kept thinking was how he should be happy for her. She wondered what her future self looked like.

The next two weeks were a blur of signing contracts, packing, setting up a direct deposit with her landlord, calling her family to tell them the news and mentally preparing herself when the madness ceased just a few days before her flight.

Even then it still didn't feel real when she got to the airport, stepped on the plane, or when she finally landed in Columbia. If the temperature change wasn't enough, the live tropical plants that decorated the airport definitely made her realize she was far from home. To Naela's surprise, and her dread, Mike was waiting for her outside of the terminal. Glasses, linen button up, slacks and all. He jogged over to her, his arms open for a hug. she reluctantly reciprocated, side-hugging him back.

"Oh, Naela, so glad to be here for you. This place is paradise! Have you seen the lounge yet?"

She gave him a tired smile, "No, I just got off the plane--"

"Right, right, getting ahead of myself. Go get yourself a juice or something, I'll go get your bags." He jogged off to baggage claim, that same chipper smile on his face. Naela stood there for a moment, confused. He wasn't normally so excited or helpful. She shook her head and turned to start towards the lounge, which looked a little crowded with chatting patrons. She weaved through the couches and tables to get to the juice bar with an array of selections and fresh fruit toppings. Naela, taking advantage of all the options, made a cocktail of pinapple juice, frozen mango, lemon, and orange. Taking one sip lifted a small weight off of her shoulders. Her first taste of paradise and fucking making it after all those years. A proud smile shown lightly through her jet-lag RBF.

The moment was short-lived, however, when Mike found her, her two large suitcases rolling behind him and her heavy duffle slung over his shoulder. He instantly dropped the patterned bag at her feet, his chest heaving a bit.

"Had no idea your bags were this heavy..." Naela repressed a chuckle as she saw her manager struggle and humble himself.

"I got it, thanks," she replied cheekily, taking both suitcases in her hands and carrying her duffle with ease. He looked shocked for a moment, then led her towards the exit. She smiled to herself as his back was turned.

Once they were outside, it was still just as crowded, but much, much, hotter. The humidity alone was bad enough but the early afternoon sun was brutal. She was sweating already, even under the shade of the building. She reluctantly took off her hoodie, which she was sure left her hair frizzy, just adding to the look. She wiped away the beads of moisture forming on her face, making her realize her deodorant was packed away in her suitcase. Luckily, she didn't have to suffer for long, the shuttle with the film company text on the side pulled into the drive after just a few minutes. Mike instantly opened the door and sat himself down in the farthest seat.

The driver, however, got out to help Naela put her bags in the trunk, at which point, four other men gathered around the shuttle to do the same. She didn't even notice them waiting with her, but she did now. Two of them were dressed more comfortably, like her, and the other two looked more polished, and professional. She immediately made the connection, more actors and their mangers.

Once her luggage was tucked away, she joined Mike in the air-conditioned van, not saying a word. The inside of the car was incredibly clean, it looked brand new and smelled that way too.

The next passenger to climb inside was older than Naela for sure. Some scruffy stubble shaped his cheekbones and sharp jaw perfectly, and he had the same curly, frizzy hair Naela had. He wasted no time sitting himself right next to her and giving her a polite smile.

"Hey, I'm Pedro," he introduced himself, a little breathless from the heat. He extended his muscular hand for her to take. She instantly look it and smiled brightly back at him.

"Naela." She added, feeling his hand totally engulf hers.

"You have a beautiful name, Naela. Nice to meet you." Other people were still getting into the car, and she could hardly focus, due in part to his confidence.

"Thank you--" Another man reached over from the row of seats in front of them and offered his hand as well.

"Boyd Holbrook. I've already met Pedro, but not you." Wow. Was every actor going to be this attractive? She already felt out of place by the second one.

"Naela. Nice to meet you." She shook his hand just as she did Pedro's. Boyd's were a bit softer, but hers were still small in comparison. He nodded, smiling and turned around to face the driver again, who was just starting the van.

The drive to the studio was mostly silent, very bumpy, but luckily not very long. When she saw all the trailed lined up outside of the warehouse, it finally sunk in. The biggest set she'd ever been on, and she was one of the stars. Everyone went their separate ways after getting out of the shuttle, and Mike led her to her trailer. Her very own trailer. It even had her name on the door. Once she got inside, she set her luggage down and looked around in awe.

"Okay, Naela! This is your home for the next six months." She didn't respond as she spotted the back bedroom, instantly going in to check it out.

"Don't forget the cast dinner at six, okay?" He called to her once she disappeared behind the curtain partition.

"Okay!" She answered. At times like these, she wondered if she really needed a manager that badly. She looked around a bit more, unpacked some things, then started getting ready. Only after she turned on the AC, though.

By five-thirty, she was ready. She put on a red two-piece sundress with sleeves that hung off her shoulders. That particular shade of red she loved; she was always told it complimented her tan skin. She refreshed her dry curls and put on some comfortable nude heels. She couldn't bare putting makeup on with the heat, so she just brushed through her brows and put a light layer of mascara on her lashes.

She knew she was early, but she also knew it couldn't hurt to get to know some of her castmates beforehand. She told herself she didn't have anyone specific in mind. To her surprise, however, she found mostly every seat filled when she arrived at the patio.

Most people didn't look up when she rounded the corner, but as soon as Pedro saw her, he started waving her over.

"Naela! Your seat is here." She was sure everyone could see her blush, everyone's eyes on her as she joined them at the table.

"Ah, there's my Lucia! The Golden Trio is all here." The director added. Wait. The Golden Trio?

He sat at the very end of the table, Boyd on one side and her and Pedro on the other. He outstretched his hand. No...that means Pedro is...Javi? She recalled the scenes she performed at the casting call with a character named Javi. From what she gathered, their characters were friends with benefits.

Out of politeness, she obliged and met his hand with hers. "Thank you, sir," was all she could think to say. Once she sat next to Pedro, she finally allowed herself to take in the scenery. Lush fruit trees grew over the courtyard and a grand fountain stood tall in the center.

"Exhausted yet?" Pedro muttered, leaning toward her.

She chuckled, "I don't think I've ever been so tired. I slept on the plane, too."

"I know, somehow sleeping made me more tired," He laughed in response, then continued, "Do you like your trailer? Definitely not what I'm used to."

She shook her head, "No, me neither. It's making my apartment look bad." They laughed again in unison. Unnoticed by Naela, Boyd was smirking over at Pedro, shaking his head too.

The extra twenty minutes they had before the dinner went by fast along with the flow of their conversation, which never stopped, aside from some interjections by Boyd and Joanna. It was honestly refreshing for her. Before they knew it, the table was being set with colorful fruits and vegetables, arepas and other appetizers, an entire roast pig for the main course, and cholado for dessert. Normally Naela would be put off by the entire pig in front of her, but she hadn't eaten a full meal in the 36 hours it took to get there.

After giving each other a few quiet moments to eat, Pedro was the first to start up the conversation again with "So Naela," he washed down his last bite with a fruity cabernet, "Tell me about your family."

She took a deep breath, "I grew up in San Antonio. It's just me, my mom and my brother, Sebastian. He helps my mom run her restaurant.”

"You guys must be close. No boyfriend, then?" he mused.

"Yes, actually. He’s Josh." she laughed. "What about you?"

"It's just me and my siblings now." His response wasn't wounded, it was more accepting than anything.

"I'm sorry," she replied instinctively. "I don't know if I could recover from that. You were right about my family being close." She chuckled painfully.

"Thank you. They make it better...they really do." He took another greedy sip from his wine glass. "I had a feeling you were Lucia," he added.

"Is that so?" she replied sheepishly, trying to hide the blush creeping onto her cheeks again by looking down at the table.

"Mhm," he hummed confidently. "Listen, if at any point theres something that makes you uncomfortable, please tell me." He leaned in closer, making sure to look her in the eye as he said this.

She nodded, "Thank you, Pedro. I appreciate that." She wasn't sure if it was the wine or the company, but she could tell by the flushed feeling she had that her entire face was red. If Pedro noticed, he didn't say anything.

They continued talking as they waited for everyone to finish. Once conversation lulled and everyone was feeling even more tired from such a filling meal, the director stood at the end of the table to announce, “Alright, everyone...go get some sleep. Table reading is inside, tomorrow at 7 AM. It's gonna be a long day of reading but you'll live." A few actors chuckled but most did not. Naela stretched as she stood, she felt like she'd been sitting forever.

"Goodnight, Naela." Pedro stood too, and Naela had to fallow his eyes upward to maintain eye contact. She could feel a pit in her stomach form. Hm, didn't realize he was that tall.

"Night, Pedro..." She hesitated, smiled tiredly up at him, then finally turned to go back to her trailer. His eyes lingered for just a bit too long as she walked away, but eventually Boyd snapped him out of it by patting his back and saying his goodbyes as well.

It felt so fucking good to get ready for bed that night. She was in her comfortable clothes again at last and she was clean. She dimmed the lights and decided to scroll on social media for a bit. She came across an ad for Game of Thrones, and remembered Pedro had mentioned being in the previous seasons.

Needless to say, her curiosity got the best of her and she looked up "got pedro pascal scenes".

Holy shit.

This job just keeps getting harder and harder.

reblog if you made it to the end!

[slaughterlauter]

yeah no it’s. a lot. i mean i’ve had a lot of time to process bc i’ve literally been stuck for.. a year? time is weird here. and i don’t really wanna give you an existential crisis lmao

dw i won’t tell max about mcr 🙏 ummm you should listen to destroy boys. or greta van fleet. what if i just give everyone hit or miss music recs

-🏈

youre kinda weird and what youre saying doesnt make much sense but thats ok

thanks man, ill totally give those a listen next time i try study

[acircusfullofdemons]

!! (for the oc ask you reblogged)

[ send me "!!" & I'll introduce you to an oc ]

Oh thank you!! So. Harlow. My fucked up horror girl. My scream queen, final girl, etc. (this got. SO LONG, I'm so sorry)

Her full name is Harlow Spade (she/they) & they work for Lannie Crowley/Lantern as his henchperson. His right hand, more specifically! She started working for him when she was 15 after having a mental breakdown/existential crisis about being a magical girl.

You see, in the city Harlow lives in (Prism Pulse), there are 7 deities that have control over 7 emotions (Anger, Greed, Fear, Determination, Hope, Love, Compassion). These 7 used to be hidden from humanity but Ares, Hermes, and Phobos (they're named after Greek gods but not THE Greek gods, if that makes sense?) wanted themselves to be known/have more recognition, so now we're here!

Anyway the 7 can now choose Prism Citizens to give their power to, but only of they 1) were born in PP & 2) born after The Calamity (aka when they revealed themselves). These people are called "Witches" and Harlow is one such Witch! The deity that claimed her was Pandora, aka the deity of Hope. Harlow did NOT have a fun time being a Hope Witch, though. I don't want to, like, give a bunch of worldbuilding so to sum up: her mother, Faith, had a Hope Shard (aka an object that lets non witches/humans use the deities power) and was a superhero/magical girl for Prism Pulse until she got pregnant with Harlow. Faith was beloved by everyone and is kind of...martyred? romanticized?? Everyone always talks about how great she was and. its a lot to put on an 8 year old!!

Yes, that's right. Poor little baby started fighting crime at 8. Nobody cared that she was a literal child, just that she had to stop Lannie/Lantern (who has a Fear Shard, Fear & Hope are opposites which is why Harlow was expected to fight him). Now. This isn't about Lannie, but he IS important to Harlow.....because he's also her dad! *gasp* yes I know how fucking wild.

See, its fun, because Faith & Lannie were enemies, then had this weird coworker dymanic, then they sort of accidentally started sleeping with each other (oh did I also mention that Faith has a husband, Harlan?? well get to him dw but yeah she definitely cheating on him). This is supposed to be about Harlow. Sorry. Anyway, nobody knows Harlow is Lannie’s kid (except for possibly Faith, and tbh Lannie lowkey suspects it but what's he gonna do?? get a dna test done?? he's a fucking criminal yall). Also Faith kills herself shortly after Harlow is born bc of post partum depression/psychosis, leaving Harlow in the care of Harlan, her "father".

Harlan was NOT a good dad lmao. He constantly blamed Harlow for her mothers death and put most of the pressure for her to fight Lannie (i stg when you really look at Canon!Harlow's life, Lannie is the ONLY person that genuinely cares about her). Ssoo yeah he sucks, very emotionally & verbally abusive.

So you're probably wondering. What happened when Harlow was 15 that made her work for Lannie instead? Well, to put simply: she died! Yes, you read that right. Harlow is technically a ghost. There was this giant fight involving, Harlow, Lannie, Agent Owl (Prism's main hero), and some other villains idk the details yet, which resulted in Harlow getting severely injured and dying. Lannie was the one to notice her dying first bc Owl was too busy fighting the other villains, and BOY did he blow up at Owl for not caring about Harlow enough. Anyway she became a ghost bc Pandora was like "nnoooo 😭 you were my favorite!!! go back rn". Pandora said "everyone lives au, hurt/comfort, 35k" blame her for all of Harlow's problems.

ANYWAY. I THINK THAT'S ENOUGH BACKSTORY??? if you're still reading this, uh...personality time?? My girl is FERAL. she eats bugs. She bites people, police especially. They're an absolute menace to society and will one day take over Lannie’s job as being a general nuisance. She's also constantly insulting Lannie and making fun of him (affectionately of course. though sometimes it does get a lil personal oops). Uhmmm she's also very smart, extremely good at Alchemy (which is basically magic chemistry in this universe).

Now it's time for the Faith Lives!AU bc. I like it a lot more lol.

Its basically what is says on the tin, Faith doesn't kill herself. She also divorces Harlan & gets with Lannie! Nobody is happy about them being together but me (and them ofc). Under their parenting, Harlow has a MUCH happier childhood and even a little brother, Jack! (named after Jack Skellington. Lannie thought it would be funny. he was right.)

ALSO!!! bc of some worldbuilding reasons I don't have time to explain, Phobos (deity of Fear) is now her patron/the deity to give her powers!! And while it still kinda sucks bc those claimed by Ares/Hermes/Phobos are SEVERELY hated (those 3 don't have....the best reputation in Prism Pulse) and she's a lot more powerful bc thats her...."true calling", I suppose is how you'd put it? Like she can use both Hope & Fear, but she's got an easier time with Fear lol. (She might also just be possessed by phobos. just a lil, idk)

Your "reward" for reading all that is Harlows playlist & the FL!AU playlist. Oh and. Bragging rights, I guess.

[ao3feed-crimeboys]

pretending i am older, worser, people stay away

by BallsDeep (ShiverWithaFriend)

Names are powerful. Deadly in the wrong hands of anyone, but especially fae. Mothers warn their children never to tell the kind people in the woods their names, never say thank you, never accept gifts and never accept food and don’t say sorry. Names are a gateway, it’s the dog tying it’s own collar and handing its owner the leash. A noose, if you’d like to be morbid. (Honest.)

Once a fae has your name, you’d better fucking hope you’re ready to spend eternity in the fae realm. Months on the inside and centuries on the outside. A name has power, but a fae knowing your name…? That’s a different type of power.

One that most people dread.

“I’m okay, though, I’m Tommy the fuckin’ fae! I’ve been doing this for millennia, I’m okay. I’m—“

 “Wilbur.”

The forest freezes.

— Or, a very soft bedtime story fae fic

Words: 3991, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Series: Part 20 of Shiver’s game of: how many Minecraft streamers can i traumatize!

Fandoms: Dream SMP

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: Gen

Characters: Wilbur Soot, TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)

Relationships: Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson

Additional Tags: Mentioned Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Mentioned Technoblade (Video Blogging RPF), Alternate Universe - Fae, Mild Hurt/Comfort, its very light hearted smile, Existential Crisis, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), but Wilbur fixes it dw, Fae TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Fae & Fairies, Name Reveal, …there’s no tag for name reveal?, TommyInnit Needs a Hug (Video Blogging RPF), Happy Ending

[ahqkas]

hiho! happy friday <33 enjoy ur weekends, rest well too c: !! ,, ooh, if u ever do get a cat, send us pics of the silly! also, good luck future flight attendant 🫡 you got this !!

I WILL WATCH BABY DW 💯💯 and ur so true, i watched a few interviews of lorenzo zurzolo and he’s lowkey more attractive than i thought?! THATS CRAZY .. (still a mattheo girlie hehe)

yesyes i AGREE with the statement that he’d most likely would be forced to get a dark mark, and then voldy would eventually start to shape him to the man that he envisions (basically, i’d think that voldy would force mattheo to continue/finish the legacy voldy set out for him). the more i think abt this the more i would think that maybe (just maybe) that this is where mattheo’s arc starts ig, since his history as the dark lord’s son would expand. so maybe he has an existential crisis whether or not he should betray his dad and risk the whole of hogwarts in the process, or go with his dad and still be resented by hogwarts ykyk? maybe he’d join his father or something and then suddenly he betrays his father and then idk

LISTEN… i know it doesn’t make sense but it’s my brainrot for the rest of my life 😭✋ anw i hope you’re doing well! please stay hydrated, and dont forget to eat, and also that u are loved !! have a great day and rest <3 - c: anon

i plan on pulling an all nighter tonight & tomorrow’s my sister’s bday party so we’ll be celebrating !! OOOOH GIVE ME UR OPINIONS THEN 😋😋

THAT’S SO TRUE , i think mattheo’s future was decided the moment he was born or even the moment voldemort was informed of the heir he would have . mattheo was supposed to be a powerful heir to the riddle line , the blood flowing through his veins making him the one. it gives sm to his character, the trauma and drama. WE SHOULD TALK MORE ABOUT HIS CHARACTER ML !!!

ily angel thank you , take care of yourself as well

[catcze]

happ birthd date

Oh god oh fuck you're turning twenty right?? That means I'm no longer your peer :(( enjoy your oh-fuck-how-am-I-an-adult existential crisis btw :D

(on the more serious note: please take care of yourself!! drink water!! rest is a necessity not a privilege!!! feeling should be processed not suppressed!! I will wish for you to stay safe and outlive god)

- BINS anon

akjksajd thank u BINS OMG HAHHA 💞💞 💞

Dw bby we'll be peers again soon, and you'll be enjoying the existential crisis w me 😌💞

[arcanestage]

hello my sweets I just wanted to say I care you and I hope you feel better soon! I’ll fight all those nasty feelings for you if needed

this is so sweet thank you so much 🥺 *HUGS* dw dw i’ll eventually get my shit together! it’s probably the Pandemic Depression + the daily existential crisis + school stress 🤨 i’ll be fine tho!! thanks for popping in! for real, i appreciate this and you ofc MWAH 😚💗

[pia-writes-things]

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to? inside or outdoors? do you love easily? how often would you want to see your family every year?

OMG, thanks for the questions @saecookie you're a darling 💓

if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

Okay, so in terms of books it's a hard one. Because they are books that were really formative to me but which I don't really feel connected to anymore (HP, PJO, the Warrior Cats, ...) so I guess they should read them to understand where I come from, in a way. And to understand me now, I think that reading La Passe-Miroir is a must, but also His Dark Materials and probably at least one of Clémentine Beauvais and Manon Fargetton's novels. To watch is like super easy : ER and Doctor Who. Both wildly different from each other but I understood and keep understanding so much about myself just watching them and re watching them, it's a must to understand me. Oh, and also Portrait of a lady in fire and Pride and Captain Fantastic. I just feel like these movies really helped me understand myself so... And to listen, probably Pomme, Bigflo et Oli and the DW soundtrack.

inside or outdoors?

Inside most of the time because I'm a bookworm and a binge watcher + life in uni doesn't offer a lot of opportunities to just go on a walk. But I also adore going on hikes or climbing outdoors when I have the time!

do you love easily?

That's a very interesting question, to which I'm not sure of the answer. I know I trust people very (too?) easily but does that mean I love them? I have no idea... Also, I'm not sure of how I love, so I don't know... Maybe there are people I thought I love that I actually didn't and vice-versa, whether it is platonic or romantic (i'm not even sure I'm capable of romantic love so...) Anyway this is not the place to have an existential crisis but this is a question I don't think I have the answer to 😊

how often would you want to see your family every year?

I'm still a baby and I just moved out of my parents, and it's temporary so I still see them almost every week. And I miss them the rest of the time so I guess it's how often I still need to see them... Which scares me a little because I'm supposed to live abroad for a full year next year, with an ocean between us... So yeah, lots of existential crises over here I guess?

Welp, those questions were so good but also so deep, I kinda feel like I'm oversharing and also like I'm giving you a peep in my diary but well... Hope this satisfies your curiosity Sae and thanks again for asking me <3

[gingersp1ce547]

Saw your tags on the shining Nikki post about how you want to get into shining Nikki and you definitely should because I love my cute dress up game with over complex and kinda dark lore, but like a few warnings

The app is tags up a lot of space on your phone, which makes sense considering how much content is in the game plus the 3d graphics with hair and clothes physics, but that still is a deal breaker for some people.

Also you can complete the story without spending any money if you can wait, but the in app purchases can be pretty tempting and the event and special suits can definitely make you want to throw money at the game. Now that I have money because I'm working I caved and spent money on it recently and I'm not the kind of person who usually spends money on mobile games. So like, be careful. Probably obvious because mobile games are just like that, but thought I'd mention it anyway because it might be helpful. I don't regret it though and the things I brought were all less $5 so 🤷🏻‍♀️

Enjoy your dress up game with existential crisis and violence, also sorry if I'm bothering you

Thank you very much for the good info (dw your not bothering me in the slightest) I definitely plan on playing it soon! Just have to finish neo twewy first and then on to the dark dress up game I go!

[anarchyloser]

it makes sense dw. Your heart’s in the right place. You just need to trust that everything will fall into place with time 💙

Thanks, just kinda borderline existential crisis time bc thinking about how life works but I'll be fine tommorow. Life's going to happen no matter what views I have or what I think so I have time to figure everything out

[gnetophyte]

something something essays i don’t have time to write... i realized today while on my run that what i really really search for in theatre is dispossession. i think the Modern theatre emphasizes self-possession and ultimate consciousness, all the way from hamlet where we’re invited to explore autonomy and conscious choice, to brecht where we’re asked to develop class consciousness towards a self-possessed and depropagandized proletarian (i realize im bastardizing both shakespeare and brecht there; sorry to this man). 

but in the wake of the little existential crisis i had a few days ago where i thought maybe theatre (as it is) is incapable of provoking any meaningful change in the world, i was thinking about the theatre pieces that have stuck with me, and i realize that a common thread in all of them is an indescribable sense of being gripped. that moment when the air electrifies and you are so sensorily, emotionally, psychologically, and aesthetically engaged that you exist, for a moment, outside yourself. it feels like transcending, like you are intimately connected with the rest of existence (forgive the purple prose). it happened in the finale of iphigenia in aulis, it happened (sorta) at hoodoo love, it happened when i saw yerma, it happened in voyeurs de venus, in polaroid stories, and it even happens very occasionally when i see movies (hereditary and portrait of a lady on fire). it happens a lot at drag shows. 

i think what i crave, and what i hope to curate in the work i do, is dispossession. that sense of no longer being burdened by the self, of being totally and utterly open to the entire world around you, this profound and existential bridge where the boundary between you and everything else is erased. that’s where i (we) make really significant discoveries, and i think when an audience is taken to that point they can be truly truly transformed. this state can be induced with ritual, with dance, with music, with a theatre practice that borders on religious; that’s why i’m so up grotowski’s ass all the time and why i love greek theatre so much, because it necessarily involves a cracking-open of the self into the world beyond. maybe this dispossession can be considered catharsis?? idk- that would have to make me rethink my entire stance on catharsis and im not ready 4 that rn. i crave this dispossession both as an audience member and as a participant- my favorite roles are ones where i get to completely lose my self and feel like im part of something greater. this dispossession is why the best actors are the ones who give to their scene partners, whose goal is not to better themselves but to give selflessly to everyone else. this mediation between the self and the world is why theatre tends to be a narcissistic profession, it’s because we’re trying to study that boundary-line and often end up navel-gazing.

to get into some philosophical mumbo jumbo, this dispossession is what i believe love is. of no longer possessing the self, of the self being bounded both internally and externally and become shared/universal. which is terrifying! that is the ultimate act of vulnerability, to uncover the self and share it totally with someone else. but it’s those moments that connect us to oneness and to the universe and to ourselves. we live in these snail shells called ego, which are really useful and great most of the time because they shield us pretty effectively from harm; dispossession means being let out of that shell to feel the sun on our little sluggy-slimy backs for the first time. yay 4 vulnerability! ok ive been getting progressively drunker throughout writing this so i think ill stop for now. if u read it thanks if not i wouldn’t either so dw

obliterate consciousness! annihilate the self! destroy the Essential!