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ellewords · 3 years ago

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atsumu was like the sun. he shined and glowed and warmed people just by being near them. without a single thought, he was able to brighten the mood in ways that no one else could. even on his darker days or when his being felt too harsh, he left an impact that made everyone long for more. you couldn’t always see him, couldn’t always feel his presence, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t there somehow, unseen but known.

by association, that sort of made you the moon. you could shine brightly and leave a warm glow and comfort others when they felt like they were in the dark. but all of that wasn’t possible without the sun. without atsumu.

people didn’t know you unless you were by atsumu’s side. they didn’t spare you a glance until atsumu brought attention to you. but you didn’t mind. all you wanted was to have him by your side, to support you when you couldn’t hold yourself up, to be brilliant beside him even if you would never outshine him. you were content in your current situation.

so why did it hurt so much seeing him continue to shine? why did his warmth suddenly feel so cold? why couldn’t you be as bright as him all on your own?

or, atsumu will always be the sun, you always the moon. maybe now it’s time to accept that you’re nothing without him so you can finally shine for yourself.

-💛

— from elle ! 💛anon you never miss, do you? aaaa this was so good it lived in my head rent free ever since i first read it >_< i just had to write an addition to this for the way you made my heart actually ache. i hope i did your drabble justice :<< this just hit a lil too close to home ngl thank you for reading everyone, i hope you like this! reblogs are appreciated, they help a ton <3

fic notes / warnings : timeskip!miya atsumu x gn!reader, angst, fluff (-ish? kinda) ending, oneshot, wc: ~1.52k (!! my longest margins addition so far omg)

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

atsumu has a gravitational pull, that much has always been clear to you and everyone else; a pull so strong that you can’t help but orbit around him. every room he walks into, he commands the attention of everyone present. one can’t help but simply be drawn to him — with his bright smiles, boisterous laughs, and larger than life movements. it’s no wonder why everything seems to bend to his will, how the universe seems to revolve around him.

you’ve moved around him for as long as you can remember, every now and then, he lets you borrow his light. the world has associated you with him and you don’t blame anyone one bit.

his name has always come first. setter for the inarizaki volleyball team, miya atsumu. invited to the all-japan youth intensive training camp, miya atsumu. captain of the inarizaki volleyball team, miya atsumu. setter for division one volleyball team, the msby black jackals, miya atsumu.

meanwhile, yours is treated as an afterthought, an attachment, a footnote in the awe-inspiring narrative of his life. you’re known as his childhood friend. his best friend, the one who cheers him on from the stands in every single one of his games. alleged significant other, according to whispers in the hallway and to the tabloids and paparazzi. his eventual confirmed significant other, ln yn.

atsumu and who’s that with him? atsumu and his best friend. atsumu and his significant other. atsumu, oh, and yn’s here too. it’s always atsumu before yn; his name before yours. sometimes, you wonder if anyone would know your name if he hadn’t started dating you.

you walk behind atsumu, not beside him, when you enter a room. fingertips loosely intertwined with his, you attempt to keep your head up as atsumu introduces you around. they spare you a quick “hi”, before beginning a conversation with your sun.

though he’s not really your sun, is he? you’ve always had to share him with everyone else. everyone needs a little sunshine in their life, a little warmth; his brilliance is dazzling, like everyone else, you revelled in his glow.

the world has always associated you with him, but it never worked the other way around. atsumu has always shined on his own; you needed him to have light for yourself.

no one blames the sun for burning a little too bright; it’s simply the way it is. similarly, you’ve never blamed atsumu for being the way he is. he doesn’t know, didn’t mean to do it in the first place. atsumu has always existed for himself, lived life the way he sees fit.

you can’t blame him, no matter how much you wanted to. even if you forced yourself to.

staring at the sun is fascinating, but do it long enough and it starts to hurt. the warmth is no longer comforting, but harsh and prickly. the light is no longer magical and dazzling, but blinding and terrifying. it took some time, but you eventually convinced yourself to look away.

“ya sure ya wanna do this?” atsumu asked, immediately recognizing your hesitance. he doesn’t want to break up, he wants you to take your words back, he wants you to tell him that this was all just some sick prank. but right now, it doesn’t matter what he wants. what matters is how you feel, the emotions he didn’t realize you had been feeling.

“no…” you mumbled. the intensity of his gaze makes your knees buckle, but you stand your ground. even in the chilling darkness of his living room, he radiates light and understanding, making everything all the more difficult. you bite the inside of your cheek, letting a few beats pass before your next words, “but i have to.”

“i believe in you,” atsumu nodded, stuffing his hands in the pocket of his jeans. he lets out a quiet exhale, eyes gazing on the suitcases in your hand, “yer gonna do so many amazin’ things.”

your grip on the bag’s handle tightened. it was the end of an era, one that you didn’t expect would be ending at all. but it had to be done. for the first time since you met atsumu, you finally began to think of yourself. a small smile plays on your lips, hoping that he picks up on the pure gratefulness of your tone, “thank you for lending me your light.”

his reply would play in a loop in your mind. even in a breakup, the darkest the night has ever been, atsumu offers you a little bit of light. as expected from the sun.

the moon goes through several phases. some days are better than others. it’s a wave of several highs and lows, but you grow to understand that’s how things are. on some nights it’s as invisible as they come, the clouds blocking out what little light it already produced. though it glowed on other nights, you often feel like nothing has changed. but you learn to trust the process either way.

gazing at the moon is calming, not dazzling and exceptional, but calming. it provides peace, serenity. you often gazed at the moon, especially on the nights where you could only toss and turn. a cold breeze would blow past you and send shivers down your spine, painting your bare skin with several goosebumps. leaning on the balcony railing and taking in the sounds of a city that barely slept makes you think of him.

you miss the sun; you miss your sun. you miss his presence and the warmth he brings you. atsumu checks in every now and then, asking how you’re doing and wondering if you’d ever want to meet for a cup of coffee. you’ve never accepted any of his offers for fear of only getting pulled back in.

you’ve never realized that you always had a gravitational pull of your own. atsumu spends most of his nights gazing at the moon. when his heart raced and his mind buzzed, the moon brought him tranquility — as did you, his anchor.

[ miya atsumu ] : the night sky is nice tonight, it makes me think of you. i like that we’re always looking at the same one.

[ miya atsumu ] : i hope you’re doing okay.

he’s right, the night sky does look nice. the moon is full and shining the brightest you’ve ever seen it shine. gleaming, enchanting, and breathtaking doesn’t seem to do its beauty any justice. perhaps the poets and artists had been right all along, the moon is the perfect muse. your thoughts almost convince you that its light isn’t artificial. but twinkling beside the moon are the stars, shimmering high above the world you know, their light completely their own.

you’re not okay. being the moon may not be too bad, but you’ve already realized that you want to be amongst the stars as one.

days turn into weeks, and eventually months. sometimes they blend together when nothing of interest or importance happens, though you strive for events that are worth remembering. you’ve found a job that you actually like, one that you truly excelled at. you’ve started to put yourself out there, to meet people that pushed you to be better than you had been the day before. slowly but surely, you began to create your own light.

some days your light faltered, some days are dimmer than others, but it was a light of your own. it’s one that didn’t need another’s glow to exist. soon enough, you find yourself accepting one of atsumu’s many offers for a cup of coffee.

he’s now brighter than ever. setter for division one volleyball team, the msby black jackals, miya atsumu, has turned into setter for japan’s olympic team, miya atsumu. his radiance is as blinding as ever, the largest grin on his face as he waves his hand out the second he caught sight of you.

but you’re brighter now too, weaving through the cafe tables with your head up high. you’re more sure of yourself, standing taller, making each step towards him with purpose. you’ve lost the tension in your shoulders, the weight that built in your chest. and atsumu notices it too.

“you’ve changed.” he smiles, much softer than you’re used to. his gaze is fond as you settle in the seat in front of him.

“i know,” you reply, the corners of your lips twitching upwards, “but thank you for lending me your light.”

atsumu’s smile remains that same soft one that you’re not used to as he recognizes your words almost immediately. he leans back in his seat, gesturing a hand to you, “never gave ya anythin’, this is all you.”

he replies with the same words he said several months ago, the latter half of the sentence being the only addition. warmth fills your chest as he never lost a single ounce of sincerity. the only difference? this time you actually believe him.

atsumu may still be the sun, but you’ve become a star in your own right; you no longer need him to shine. maybe someday you’ll shine bright enough to allow yourself to exist beside him. but for now, this is enough.

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

send me a hc / or a scenario ! <3 | written on the margins masterlist

taglist : @haikyuutothetop @crystal-lilac @tobioespresso @sushijimawakatoshi @itsmeaudrieee @pantherhappy @jesssobs @mysticstrawberryballoon @cloudedsky29 @sakusasimpbot @aoirohi @kokogxddess @livy384 @itachislut @crapimahuman @dkeela @duhsies @rmjace @atzuums @sanchooinc @sassyglassesbunny @cemeiia @nikiniki743 @savantsoulfinder @miyadarling @tooru--o @rinsangel @asaitashi

join my hq taglist here. <3

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witch-hazels-musings · 3 years ago

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Hi Hazel! I hope you don't mind me piggy backing onto your last asks. I know I don't send many asks but I really wanted to let you know that you are doing amazing with being inclusive. The fact that you sometimes post two versions of your writing to ensure more people can easily immerse themselves even though you don't have to is impressive. I'm sure the original anon didn't mean any ill-will but I understand how it feels to put so much effort into something and still receive criticism.

I apologize I know it's not my place to say and I'm just an anon that sends asks irregularly but truly you are awesome, definitely one of the best writers here!! Thank you for always trying your best to be inclusive and for sharing your writing with us!! As a last reminder, please remember to take care of yourself <3 - zdx anon

I seriously doubt they were intending to upset me, and I'm so appreciative of people who help me when I need it, give me feedback when I'm uncertain or even give me kudos, let me know how much something impacted them! It means a lot and I have so many more of those than I can count 😭

Wherever I go and whatever I write I'll always miss something for someone but I'll continue to do my absolute best and have a fun time with you all!

Hazel is motivated and so thankful for all the anons and blogs that talk with me! No matter how frequently they do ❤️😌 (thank you, zdx)

(I just take things very seriously so I will take their ask seriously too - 'ill show you how serious Elle Woods can be' that's me lol)

୧( ˵ ° ~ ° ˵ )୨

#hazelmail #coffee elixir #୧(＾〰＾)୨ #i shall work harder!!#yesyeyss #thank you for seeing me #it means so so much !!!#bless you kind human!#zdx anon

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katsumiiii · 4 years ago

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hey boo :) could I get a denki imagine with the back hugs prompt? I'm so proud of you, you deserve 200 followers. I love you very very very much 💞 I genuinely enjoy you and your presence ☺️❤️ take care luv

THANK U SM BABES 🙇🏾‍♀️��! And ofc, I hope you like your imagine!

prompt #11: back hugs

denki kaminari x gn! black reader

fluff imagine.

Let’s be honest, Denki Kaminari is an idiot. Anyone with eyes could see that the male had a couple screws loose, he continually said things at the wrong moments, accidentally spewing some sort of secret he wasn’t supposed to even know about in the first place. He was clumsy, tripping over air almost, it was sort of astonishing watching the male fall over what seemed to be nothing at all, then getting back up acting as if he never fell in the first place. He was a terrible flirt, although he thought every word that tumbled out of his mouth was pure gold, especially in the case of women, but it’s not. In fact, sometimes the things he says is downright offensive, he doesn’t mean for it to come off that way of course, he has the best intentions, truly only wanting to impress others. But it comes across as insensitive, leaving a bad taste in most people’s mouths. Most, not all.

You in fact, couldn’t get enough of Denki. You absolutely adored his out of place comments, his words sending you bending over in laughter on almost every occasion. You were enthralled by his ability to trip over literally nothing, chucking in amusement at his scrunched up nose and pouting expression whenever he seemed to do so, eventually helping him off of the ground, but not before taking great pleasure in his embarrassed appearance. You also loved whenever the male would attempt to woo you, his corny love jokes and wiggling of his eyebrows sent a fluttering feeling in the depts of your stomach, though you would never admit it.

That’s why you were elated when he finally grew the balls to ask you to be his. His, you loved how that word rolled off of the tip of your tongue. You were his partner, his lover, simply and utterly his. Your love was beautiful, so incredibly that even Bakugou blushed at the sight of you two. His own stone heart softening at the sight of you both gazing into each other’s eyes, them filled to the brim with love and adoration.

So here you were, marveling in the feeling of his lean, musclar arms wrapped around your plush stomach. His palms rubbing at your brown toned skin, fingers lightly brushing over your bellybutton. You giggled, leaning further into the safety of his arms. “Stop Denki, that tickles.”

“That’s the point sugar.” He leaned his forehead down towards your shoulder, his breath making you shiver as he swayed you back and forth, dancing to the apparent imaginary song that always played whenever he was around you. Pushing you further into his hold, he raised his chin, setting his lips agaisnt your plush cheek, kissing the area repeatedly. “God, you don’t know how much I appreciate you Y/N. You’re my everything, I can’t imagine ever letting you go.”

taglist: @solar3lunar @mypimpademia @myhoodacademia @lilsparkyswife @angiebug101 @her-majesty-kiara @xetou @quincywrites @moxie-elle @sisifromthed @blackweebtrash

—pls let me know if I’ve forgotten anyone from the taglist! also send me a quick message if you would like to be added on to the taglist!

#denki kaminari x reader #denki kaminari x black reader #denki kaminari x poc reader #mha x reader #mha x poc reader #mha x black reader #bnha x poc reader #bnha x black reader #bnha x reader #imabitobsessedlove 200 follower event

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welcome-to-afterlife · 4 years ago

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do you still write? if so please write something for ell🥺👉🏻👈🏻 maybe a confession or something just really fluffy, i want flustered ell

Hey, im gonna try something different here- a letter. I’m so sorry because I’m pretty sure this isn’t fluffy, but I can’t pull myself to write normally! I tried my best to keep it happy as possible, but the shutdown just makes everything 10x harder. **Note: ik the manager is from the Otherworld, but I’m writing this for the people that want to hear from Ell one last time (and u all live in the human world lol).

———————————

Many Years Later: A Letter From Ell

Dear Manager,

Ahhh, I’m not sure what to say. There’s so much that I want to tell you, but I don’t think there’s enough space on this paper. Well, I’ll start with what I can-- we miss you. I’m not sure how long it's been in the human world, but several years have passed here in the 14th Department. Many of us have grown closer to achieving our goals, but no one has made it to the other side yet. To be honest, none of us are sure what to expect. Nyang Lead Manager won’t tell us whether we’ll be reincarnated or send back to our original life, but Housemaster Sei gave me a few hints (so I think we’ll be sent to our original lives)!

Sometimes, I think about what I’m going to do after I fill up my kaleidoscope. It’s a little silly, but I think about the next we meet. Although Quincy says I’ll always be small and childish, I imagine myself as a strong and handsome angel that will sweep you off your feet. You’ll be so impressed and maybe your heart will flutter just as fast as mine did when you used to walk into my room. But that is your type, right Manager? I’m not too sure since I never got to ask you about it-- it’s one of the things I regret. Although everyone yells at me for hogging you during your time at the 14th Department, I always felt like it wasn’t enough. There were so many questions I didn’t ask, stories I didn’t hear, and words that I never said. But my biggest regret is that I never told you how I truly felt about you.

Oh no, this is getting too sad isn’t it? I think so since I’m sneezing a lot (sorry if my writing looks messy, my eyes are watering from all the sneezing and it’s getting harder to see). Anyway, let’s go back to all the positive things because there a lot of them. First, I’m no longer that small boy that you remember. My hair is a little longer and I think I’ve actually grown an inch. I was super surprised because I didn’t think I would grow after I’m dead, but I guess I was wrong the whole time! Noah also says that I’ve matured and have grown more confident as the Class Leader. I don’t think that’s true, but I really appreciate his kind words! Also, the 14th Department has been doing a great job at purifying souls thanks to everything you’ve taught us! We aren’t the worst department anymore (that’s the 10th Department now) and people respect us a little more.

As for the others, not a lot has changed. Nyang Lead Manager is still demanding, but we’ve learned a secret: give him a platter of assorted ancient fish and he’ll stop yelling at you! While it doesn’t always work, Mori claims it has a 98% success rate-- so I always buy his fish. Ghilley laughs at me because he thinks Mori is tricking me, but Licht has been helping me make these fish platters to keep the Nyang Lead Manager happy. Sometimes Jamie decorates our plates with cute little tangerine and strawberry slices. While the combination is a little weird, it looks like something from a fancy restaurant!

I think Housemaster Sei is a little stressed since he acts sort of like a manager now. He seems to pick on Louis and Cyrille for having the lowest purification rates, but it always ends with Ethan and Sian making fun of them (and then insulting each other). Then June jumps in the prove his manliness, which inspires Ataichi to challenge Kirr to a battle to see the better warrior. Kati ends up biting random people while Verine crawls under his table for protection. It doesn’t stop until Housemaster Sei threatens everyone with eternal punishment, but I enjoy the lively energy.

But things aren’t always smooth. Whenever we have problems, I always ask Youssef. He always tells me that I’m doing great on my own, but I think he’s just saying that because he’s nice. He’s so smart and I really appreciate his advice. But do you want to know the truth, Manager? I don’t admire him the way that I used to before. I think it’s because I miss you more and it's all I can think about when I go to him for help. I wish I could ask you instead, but I can’t. I miss all the times where you had the answers for me with a big smile on your face because it made me super happy too. It gave me hope that I could be the Class Leader that you always wanted me to be.

Sorry Manager, but I think I’m going to have to end it here. I’m running out of space on this paper and Nyang Lead Manager is only letting me use one paper. But I’d like to say one last thing: wherever you are, just know that I’ll be watching from afar. As your guardian angel, I promise I won’t let harm get in your way. So live the rest of year days with the brightest smile on your face because that will make me happy too. Lastly please wait for me, so that one day I tell you in person just how much I love you.

With lots of love,

Ell

#afterl!fe #afterlife #afterl1fe #afterl!fe ell #after l!fe #afterlife game #afterlife ell #afterl!fe headcanons

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ohholyfanfics · 4 years ago

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hi!! im in LOVE with prompt 1 from week 5 of the college au but i was wondering if maybe you could write it for milo manheim? i totally understand if you don’t write for him tho, i couldn’t find a list of who you accept for requests - much love queen 💕💕

Prompt(s): you play on a college sport team and I’ve been assigned the sports column on the college newspaper, and during the interview, you quickly realize that I have a bare minimum understanding of how the game works so you invite me to come watch you practice

Note by Elle: my lovely, I write for anyone request and I’m so excited that you picked prompt one!!! FBDJDNDJ I have a list somewhere of people I have written before, but thanks so much for all the love! I hope you enjoy it, also this is like my first Milo request I hope it’s good. 😩😳

She chewed on the skin of her thumb as she looked back at her boss, it was days like this that she liked to remind herself why she picked the school newspaper. She had a soft frown on her face as she waited for everyone to leave the room, as she wrecked her brain for a senseable excuse as to way she couldn’t write this article, clearly the fact that she had very minimal understanding of the topic should help. She wasn’t one to back down from a challenge but this was one she was more than ready to throw the towel in and give it over to Eric, it was clearly he was obviously upset he was giving the article.

So she rambled off all the reasons as to why she most certainly couldn’t write the article and why Eric or maybe even Jessica, who’s boyfriend was on the team, were much more of a fit. Her boss watched with a soft smile as they listened to on of their best writers list excuses as to why they shouldn’t be covering the sports section this upcoming few weeks.

“You’re one of my best writers, this could be so good for you.” she blinked looking back at the man with narrowed eyes as he turned to gather a few pieces of paper. “plus it’ll be good for you y/n, you need to expand your horizons a bit.”

“But I did expand them! I did that piece last week about global climate change, which by the way was really challenging!”

“I meant stepping out of your comfort zone, your an amazing writer. I know that with a little research you’ll do great.”

“I have absolutely no understanding of the game! It’s just a bunch of guys running around a gym trying to score hoops, baskets, goals whatever!”

“Baskets y/n, they are shooting baskets. Plus you have more than enough time to actually learn a few rules about the sport. All we need for this week is an article about how the team feels heading off to states...”

“You mean I’m stuck with this article?”

“Until the end.”

She sighed running a hand through her hair, it was hot and sticky for fall and she wanted nothing more than to be cuddled up in bed with the ac absolutely blasting. She frowned as she looked down at her notebook, she had one more interview to go before she would be free, well free from heat; the article most certainly wasn’t going to write itself and she needed to at least get the rough draft done before sending it to Jessica to help with terminology and a better clarity of the game.

She smiled softly as she watched the star player go off on a tangent about all that he hopped would happen for the game. She couldn’t help but feel a bit lost as he went off to explain a game play they were practicing and hoping to instill it at next weeks game. She took notes as he talked not realizing his soft smile as he watched her.

“You don’t really understand what I’m saying do you?”

Her eyes widened as she looked back at him with a guilty smile. Placing her pen down she looked back at him, as a soft chuckle escape his lips.

“That obvious?”

“I mean, just a little...”

She let out a laugh as he chuckled looking back at the field. He wasn’t sure how the interviews his teammates had gone, but he could tell she was trying. It was cute all in all though, and he truly appreciated her effort.

“I promise this article won’t be shit..” she laughed as he leaned over her shoulder taken a look at her notes. “I even toke a few notes and Jessica and Eric said they’ll help.”

“How about I help you?”

She couldn’t help but laugh as he reached foward grabbing a few pencils she had laid out. She couldn’t help but let out a giggle as she watched him use the pencils as stick figures in hopes of getting her to understand a bit more of the game. She smiled as he leanded back with a proud smile on his face as she raised an eyebrow.

“So how was that?”

“I think I have somewhat of an understanding.” She nodded her head standing up as he smiled.

“Great, Friday night you and me are gonna pig out with some beer and a few tapes of the past games.”

“I’m-“

“Nope, all ready set meet me here after practice! I’ll help you out with everything even the terms!”

“Milo you are a saint.”

#milo manheim #milo manheim blurb #milo manheim blurbs #milo manheim drabble #milo manheim drabbles #milo manheim fanfic #milo manheim fanfics #milo manheim fic #milo manheim fics #milo manheim fanfiction #milo manheim fanfictions #milo manheim oneshot #milo manheim oneshots #milo manheim one shot #milo manheim one shots #milo manheim x you #milo manheim x reader #milo manheim x y/n

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chaylani · 5 years ago

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Hi angels! It’s Elle. I recently hit my first milestone here on tumblr and I couldn’t feel more grateful for that. And since I’m receiving so much love and kindness from you guys I wanted to send some love and appreciation back! This post is to celebrate YOU and your amazing blogs.

When I started my blog last year after leaving tumblr 6 years ago I wasn’t sure if I would still fit in. Wasn’t I too old now for all this fandom stuff? But I found not only love and hope through our beautiful bangtan boys, but also through reconnecting with my former passion, the passion for making all kinds of creative content with photoshop. So I wanna thank you all so much for reblogging and liking my content, for spreading it and praising it. I still can’t believe that!

(Disclaimer: All of the following people are in no particular order and please excuse all the following typos (it’s pretty late for me already hahaha..) Thx!)

I wanna start with the people who I actually call my friends by now (which is crazy). People who I talk to on a daily basis. People who have helped and supported me so much.. It truly overwhelms me sometimes:

Leslie ( @tiernamente ), my beautiful soulmate! You are my angel, my muse, my dorky idiot. Your messages are the first thing I check in the morning and the last thing before I go to sleep. Thank you for every encouragement, for every stupid joke, for every video message with Benji in it. You are the Jimin to my Tae (but seriously vmin is jealous of us hahah)

Mini ( @maknaekookie1997 ), thank you for always being there and taking care of me. Thank you for being a true friend. Thank you for starting this amazing group chat. You’re our wonderful leader and I would follow you anywhere.

Dasha ( @blarhiv ), you’re not only the most beautiful girl I know, but you’re also so freakin talented. I’m swooning as soon as I hear your angelic voice. Thank you for sharing your ups and downs with me and thank you for always supporting me no matter what.

Prathama ( @solojikook ), I love that you’re such a funny and uplifting person. You always make me smile, always brighten my day. Thank you for having an amazing blog and for sharing your thoughts with all of us. I wish I could hear your voice more often. It was so wonderful talking to you that day.

Rose ( @diminie-s-jagiya ), you are my little maknae, my little fairy, my cutie pie. I can’t express how glad I am to have met you. You’re always there for others and you’re so strong and gosh don’t get me started on how pretty you are!

HELENA ( @do-you-know-bts ), you marvelous creature, my Greek goddess, my partner in thirst. There is no one out there as funny as you! I swear, I know you would fight everyone who dares to harm me. I’m so greatful for having you in my life. I love you nearly as much as you love Jimin.. well..

Abi ( @shadowdevilsslayer ), my wonderful k-pop loving friend and fellow Namjoon lover. Our group chat would feel so empty without you. You’re such an import member, because you always know exactly what to say. Thank you so much for all of that! For being amazing and wonderful.

Zami ( @zamisriza-the-resurrection ), thank you for being our little cutie, for sharing your selfies with us and for being dorky and funny. You’re such a kind person and I love how much you adore Jungkook. You’re so similar to him. You both have a heart as big as the earth!

Li ( @alittlesugaorspice ), you wonderful british girl! I love it so much when you join our voice chats. Not only is your voice like straight from my favorite doctor who episode, no you’re also super funny and witty and beautiful and kind and asdfghjkllahdhsla! Thank you for putting us all together. I will forever be thankful for that.

Jazzy ( @ggukmiin ), my fellow fanfic lover! I love sharing stories with you and hearing your opinions about them. You’re so smart and wonderful uffff… thank you for always being there for me. I appreciate it a lot. I’m so happy to call you then you’re also so freakin pretty. It’s not fair *sigh*

Riikka ( @grampsyoon ), you are literally an angel! I always feel so calm and happy when talking to you. I hope you achieve all you dreams, love. You deserve the freakin world! Thank you for making earth a better place with your ice cream and music. You know I will be the first person to buy your album.

And now to some people I sadly haven’t talked as much to or just met recently but still never wanna miss:

Luna ( @varietae ), thank you for being so creative and wonderful and my fellow german drama-loving companion here; Lum ( @nyoomjjoon ), I hope we can talk more in the future and become even better friends so you never have to feel alone again; Manda ( @painfulbutsweet ), you know how much I adore your content! You are so taltendet and kind!; Meriem ( @yoong02 ) thank you for blessing us with your wonderful gfx. I’m truly amazed by them! Mk ( @yoonseok ) YOU WILL FOREVER BE MY BIGGEST CRUSH!, (@buriedbyfriends), thank you so much for reaching out to me and being so nice and kind. I love all your little dogs so much.

I also wanna thank Lari ( @lovejeons ) for being an amazing leader of this wonderful network called @armysource and the leaders, admins and mods of @hyunglinenetwork and @bangtanarmynet for their work and support!

And now to my beautiful and amazing mutuals! Thank you all so much for giving my blog a chance. I’m still hardcore fangirling over so many of you. You guys bless us with your content und you really make this platform a better place. THANK YOU SO MUCH! I love seeing you on my dash everyday:

@varietae ♡ @jiminfilter ♡ @beansmiles ♡ @minsbutt ♡ @jiminieloved ♡ @01personas ♡ @buriedbyfriends ♡ @eternal-bangtan ♡ @lovejeons ♡ @taegi ♡ @yoong02 ♡ @grampsyoon ♡ @yoonqiful ♡ @junghobi ♡ @painfulbutsweet ♡ @minsapphic ♡ @hansjisung ♡ @nyoomjjoon ♡ @onhopemin ♡ @hopekidoki ♡ @txtish ♡ @ericnams ♡ @sermindipity ♡ @chimmyrose ♡ @yoonmochiiii ♡ @miniejoon ♡ @jisooyoongis ♡ @bangtanger ♡ @cafegi ♡ @joonsrack ♡ @jimint ♡ @taeminkooks ♡ @jiminslattae ♡ @bangtan-legends ♡ @jisooyoongis ♡ @jiminieloved ♡ @yoonsgiggle ♡ @northstarkm ♡ @eternalbulletproof ♡ @junghobi ♡ @solojikook ♡ @yoonseok ♡ @introshadows ♡ @moonpjms ♡ @ggukmiin ♡ @namuswife ♡ @tiernamente ♡ @diminie-s-jagiya ♡ @blarhiv2 ♡ @maknaekookie1997 ♡ @vakkerjimin

And last but not least I wanna take some time to share with you my ultimate tumblr chrushes. Even if we’re not mutuals I still love and adore you with all my heart from the far!

@namkooks ♡ @kimvante ♡ @nochujungkookie ♡ @beui ♡ @gwkie ♡ @cryxtalsnow ♡ @jimiyoong ♡ @jungshiii ♡ @jhlovebot ♡ @kim-taehyung ♡ @softjeon ♡ @minguked ♡ @nochuie ♡ @grapejinnie ♡ @parkjimni ♡ @jung-koook ♡ @joonie ♡

(Ps: I’m really sorry if I missed someone. Please write me and I will add you!)

THANK YOU! LOVE, ELLE!

#follow forever #i said everything in this post #and i'm so sorry if i missed someone #thank you guys #i love you all

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wolfpawn · 4 years ago

Text

I Hate You, I Love You, Chapter 158

Chapter Summary - Danielle and Diana look after Lucy and talk over a few things.

Previous Chapter

Rating - Mature (some chapters contain smut)

Triggers - references to Tom Hiddleston’s work with the #MeToo Movement. That chapter will be tagged accordingly.

authors Note - I have been working on this for the last 3 years, it is currently 180+ chapters long. This will be updated daily, so long as I can get time to do so, obviously.

tags: @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog @jessibelle-nerdy-mum @nonsensicalobsessions @damalseer @hiddlesbitch1 @winterisakiller @fairlightswiftly @salempoe @wolfsmom1 @black-ninja-blade

Tom could not help but erupt in laughter at the picture that was sent to him, so much so, people around him looked at him startled, for which he had to apologise.

Emma had been gone for four hours from her home and in that four hours, she had contacted Danielle eight times to check on Lucy, which Danielle informed him of but not in a snide or ridiculing manner, merely a comment in general conversation. To settle Emma's anxiety at being away from her eight-week-old daughter for the first time exceeding two hours, Danielle had taken to taking pictures of the infant to send her mother to show Emma just how calm and relaxed her daughter was, leaving out the fact that Lucy did have a good cry for herself at realising that though she knew the smells of the two women that were caring for her, neither of them were her mother but she settled in the end, thanked mostly by Danielle's idea of the muslin cloth that Emma had used earlier and it having Emma's smell. She also changed her shirt to one she told Emma to wear the day before so that she could settle Lucy better, it seemed to have worked, Lucy was content overall. For all of the pictures, Danielle had a method of telling the time on-screen to show Emma that she was okay. Some of the pictures were of Lucy sleeping or drinking a bottle of expressed milk Emma had left. One was one that Emma had actually sent Tom of Danielle and an awake Lucy both looking at the television, the cycling race on with intense focus on their faces. That one made Tom worried about Danielle's issue with maternal urges. She looked entirely comfortable and content in the picture. But there was one picture, which, going by the message that accompanied it was done entirely in jest, of Lucy, looking a little startled and looking to the side with a still image from the raptors in the kitchen scene from Jurassic Park as the background. It was so ridiculous and silly that it was hilarious, causing Tom's loud laugh in the Wimbledon centre-court food tent that earned the worried looks from those around him, including a momentary startling of the royal bodyguards. Emma enjoyed the picture also, apologising to Danielle for being such a worried but Danielle dismissed her and told her she was more than happy to give her peace of mind.

Danielle, for her time, was spending time watching her cycling, dealing with Lucy and cooking some food to freeze for Emma and Jack since Jack was working full weeks and Emma was still learning to juggle Lucy and her home. She showed Diana the picture she altered that she sent Emma resulting in her erupting in laughter that Danielle knew well was almost identical to the way Tom laughed, something she loved, him having clearly gotten it from her.

She used Lucy's naps as times to sort of few things she knew Emma wanted sorting in her home, including putting up a shelf. As she did so, Diana looked at her almost in awe. “You are a very capable woman, I would not have been able to do that in my day.”

“My Mam was forced to know a lot because Dad would be working the most of the time, especially in the Spring,” She explained as she screwed in the piece of wood in. “And of course, I was there with her, so I learnt a bit from her.”

“What do you think she would make of all of this?”

Danielle sighed. “They'd be really excited. She'd have rung everyone and anyone. Dad and she would have probably come over for a few days because of it. Dad insisting on going for a whiskey with Tom, of course, and I would have her here talking about the finer details of things with us.” Her smile fell slightly and she bit her lips together as she thought of her parents and how they would be elated at her and Tom getting engaged. “I am really going to miss having them for this. This is the first big thing that not having them here for it will hurt. I mean, moving to England was a big thing, I know but I'd probably never have done that if they had been alone and I did it to her away from home. Plus my getting my career, as great an achievement as I know it is, was not like a college graduation or anything, marriage and a family were the ones I felt that if they happened, would be the hardest and being honest, knowing I don't have them for it really hurts and is the only thing I feel is missing from this wonderful event.” Tears began to well in her eyes. “I am so grateful to have you and Emma, I swear but…”

“Don't worry, I understand,” Diana assured. “I have the honour of being here for my girls’ weddings, and for my two granddaughters, I cannot imagine how lonely it feels to not have your parents here sometimes, I wish you had them but not having them here now brought you to our family and gave my daughter a true friend, my son a partner who truly loves and appreciates him and me a lovely neighbour and soon-to-be daughter-in-law.” Diana hugged Danielle close to her, Danielle almost gripping her too tightly. For a moment, Danielle felt like she couldn't let go, Diana said nothing but held her, knowing that Danielle required the contact. It was when Lucy informed them that she woken again that Diana rubbed Danielle's back for a moment and pulled back. “You are an incredible young woman, Elle Hughes and we love you so much. Knowing that you and Tom are taking this step together is wonderful and we are so happy for both of you. We always saw you like family, this only makes it official.”

Danielle said nothing as she went and got Lucy out of her cot, talking gently to her as she changed her, making her smile as she cleaned the mess she had made of herself and bringing her to her grandmother, who had used the time to ready a bottle, curling Lucy against her as she did and loving the smell of young baby against her, knowing it would do her hormones no good yet loving it all the same.

“All alone?” Tom turned around to see Benedict smiling at him four feet away.

“Apparently babysitting a goddaughter is far more interesting than tennis.” Tom beamed at his friend, embracing him in a hug. “How are you?”

“Good, how were the few weeks on the south coast? You look as though you went on holiday to the Caribbean. And if Danielle is that excited to mind children, there's two more she can look after any time she is willing.” He smiled.

“Don't say that to her, she already adores those boys. She is wondering when she can spoil them again, apparently, Christmas and birthdays are not enough.”

“You'll have to just bite the bullet and give her one,” Ben joked.

“Not yet.”

“Again with 'yet’, I suppose if you want to do it the conventional way, you're still a few steps off that.”

“We're going through them though.”

“You need to get a ring on that finger, that's the next one.”

Tom could only laugh at Ben's words. “No, I don't.”

“Yes, you do. I mean, Sophie and I did it a little skew-ways but...what's with that grin?”

Tom only continued to grin widely. “Are you and Sophie free any time this week?”

“We have a few things on, would a breakfast work someday, usual place?”

“No, not public, ours.��

“Wait, she's not pregnant, is she?” Ben inquired in a low voice.

“Not that I am aware and going by the swim she did yesterday, I don't think she is aware either if she is.”

“Then why the privacy?” Again Tom smirked. “Tom?” Tom's grin increased. “You've asked her, haven't you?” Tom gave a slight nod. “And?”

“She said yes.”

Ben's face went through the several phases from shocked to elated before he embraced his friend tightly. “Congratulations,” he whispered. “I…fucking hell, congratulations.” he chuckled.

“Thank you. You're the first to know outside of families.”

“Luke?”

“Tomorrow, face to face.”

“Mum's the word,” Ben promised. “Sophie will be delighted. I’m thrilled for you both. How is Danielle with it all, especially with that weird Irish thing of waiting so long?”

“She’s good, she seems incredibly happy with it all, we're talking about next summer,” Tom explained.

“That’s a long time.”

“A year is long in some respects, short in others. If that's what she feels comfortable with, then I am more than happy to wait. Just having her agree is enough at this stage. She…”

Benedict chuckled heartily. “It's great to see you this happy, Tom, it really is,” he clapped his shoulder before the tannoy informed them that the match was starting. “I had best go, I told my father I would be quick. Where are you?”

“Royal box.”

Ben laughed for a moment. “I bet Elle got a kick out of that. We will arrange breakfast one of the days do, check if Thursday works.” He declared as he walked to the stands to watch the match leaving Tom to grin before turning to take his seat.

#i hate you i love you #chapter 158 #wolfpawn #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston fic

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ellewords · 4 years ago

Note

you know those posts of people saying to send a wedding invitation to celebrities because sometimes they’ll send gifts congratulating the couple? and you know how sometimes the celebrity will actually show up? this is my head cannon of who would end up showing up just because.

(little bit of a warning: these are very half-baked and mostly just stream of consciousness because my brain is fried and i’m in need of a distraction from writing essays, but the thought hasn’t left my head, so now you have to deal with my brainrot, mwahahaha!)

i think oikawa would show up to a bunch of weddings for he people he doesn’t know. it starts in argentina when a fan sends him an invite, and he’s stupid happy about it and no one really knows why. he just really enjoys weddings, they suppose. it’s in the area, too, so he buys a gift for the happy couple and he shows up. he genuinely tries to be really low key because he doesn’t want to ruin their big day, so he stays in the back for the ceremony and he is the perfect wedding-goer. at the ceremony, though, he has a much harder time remaining out of the spotlight. when the bride and groom notice that there’s a tiny bit of a commotion happening, they lose their minds when they realize that it’s because oikawa actually showed up!!! they thought he was kidding when he accepted the invite, or maybe that he’d send an assistant or something!!! but nope, there he is, looking both enthused at being the center of attention but also kind of uncomfortable. when the couple lose their minds in front of him, though, being utter fanatics and hyping him up, he eases up and finally begins to have fun, dancing on the dance floor with different people, drinking responsibly, talking to people, bashfully signing autographs. he doesn’t lose steam for even a second, and when the party seems to lull just a little bit too long, he goes out of his way to make sure everyone gets back to enjoying themselves to the fullest (which the bride and groom appreciate). nearly everyone in attendance gets his attention for a short portion of time, and if they don’t, he tries to snag a picture with everyone on the way out. at the very end of the night, he records a short video for the couple telling them how lovely they are, thanking them for the invite and the great time, and wishing them the absolute best. it’s the highlight of their lives, besides, y’know, the whole getting married thing.

it’s gets out that oikawa actually went to a wedding he was invited to by strangers when someone posts a picture of the wedding online and he was spotted in the background, so now he gets invites all the time. he doesn’t go to all of them because he’s busy and some of the places he gets invites from are across the world, but if the location intrigues him and he has the time, he’ll usually be there.

kageyama would definitely go, too! but it would be mostly because he can’t remember for the life of him if he knows the couple, and it stresses him the hell out. he’s definitely gotten a lot more confident since he was in school, but at the root of him is still an awkward kid who questions everything about himself if it’s not volleyball. so he panics about it for weeks before the wedding, wondering what they’ll want as a gift, accidentally tricking himself into believing that he does in fact know the couple and buying a gift that he assumes they’ll like based off of thinking it’s one of his old classmates from school and buying something that they’d like. and when he doesn’t recognize either of them at the ceremony, he gets so distracted trying to place anyone’s face as someone he knows and he just can’t for the life of him figure it out. he’s half a beat behind everyone when they start cheering for the couple as the kiss and leave because he’s so deep in thought. it isn’t until the reception that he finds out that he doesn’t actually know anyone and he gets so pouty about having stressed over it for so long that he broods in a corner, trying to avoid everyone. he doesn’t start to enjoy himself until someone recognizes him and rambles for nearly ten minutes about how amazing he is and about this one play that he did that they practiced for weeks after seeing it but they still couldn’t nail and that he was their inspiration. imagine everyone’s surprise when they find them in the hallway of the reception hall with a volleyball kageyama had in his car, kageyama teaching the person how he did it. a small game breaks out in the obnoxiously big hallway with a scrappy set up of chairs precariously piled on top of each other until they were high enough and a bunch of coat jackets tied together along the top and bottom of where a net would be so they can see through. the noise is just barely softer than the music, but they gather a bit of a crowd until the game is over, and as much as kageyama enjoyed it, he apologizes to the bride and groom afterwards for feeling like he took away their spotlight. they laugh and say they don’t mind as long as the groom can play the next match.

a picture of kageyama smiling and cheering as his impromptu teammate makes a good play goes viral days later and kageyama does everything in his power to get the pictures taken at the wedding so he has the memories of that night forever. he even sends an awkward thank you card to the couple after.

ushijima accepts an invite, too; mostly because he feels it would be rude not to accept when they spent the time and money going out of their way to send him one. he spends a lot of money getting them a gift, and he cleans up super nicely, and he’s almost distracting for the entire ceremony. the quiet mysterious type suits him well, and everyone notices as he stays in the back, politely applauding when necessary and offering tissue to anyone crying and helping when it’s needed. at the reception, he mostly stays in his seat, but he stops to have conversations with anyone that comes by. most of them are very to the point, and don’t get longer than a few minutes because ushijima doesn’t beat around the bush much, but as off-putting as it sounds, everyone absolutely adores him. some people are trying to size him up, but he’s just too straightforward about how they are perfectly good on their own without having to compare themselves that they wander off shocked that he was so... nice? no, he is, but that’s not quite it... honest? about it all that they feel validated and off-kilter by the time they walk away. others come over to ask him to dance, which he politely accepts and he’s just so earnest in his attempt that they can’t even be upset that he’s a little stiff and bumbling. if anything, they fall for his charm even more. as he leaves, everyone insists that he take a few plates to-go and that if he ever needed anything, all he had to do was ask. he was very confused by this proclamation as he didn’t know anyone well enough. in his bag of to-go boxes, however, he finds a ton of business cards and stuff that he stores away just in case he does need any of their services.

at his next interview, he gets asked about the entire experience, and as always, he’s super honest: “i had a wonderful time. everyone was very kind. that being said, i felt as if i was intruding on a very personal moment meant to be shared by those you hold dearest, so as much as i appreciate the sentiment, i do not plan to attend anymore weddings if i don’t know someone involved. it should be their big day, after all, and i would hate to distract from it.” if he gets anymore invites, he politely declines and instead sends them a gift and his congratulations.

i’ve been gone for a few days because of school, but i’ve been itching to send something in ever since i saw the wedding prompt. plus, all of the hc coming in from it have been so good! you have so many talented followers, and your additions are great as always, elle!

anyway, i have to get back to school. hope school is going well for you, elle! and make sure you’re taking care of yourself! -🌙

— from elle ! wait, hold on i love this >_< but hello moon anon !! i hope all those essays are working out well for you and i hope you’re able to take breaks in between :) anyways, this definitely made me love and i like that it’s true to the characters (esp. kags). my quick lil scenarios (under the cut as usual) is kind of an amalgamation of what you sent in because i'm just thinking of what would happen if the couple took a shot in the dark and invited all three of them. and they all attend :>> thank you for this and i hope you are having a wonderful day ! <3

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

“yohoo, tobio-chan!” kageyama heard, a figure sliding into the empty seat next to him. the voice is airy, familiar, one that he had heard several times in the past. the ceremony was due to start in five minutes, everyone from the guests to the wedding party already taking their respective place.

he narrows his eyes towards the figure, recognising the man just after a couple of quick beats, “oikawa-san?”

“ah! i'm glad you could still recognise me.” oikawa grinned, squinting his eyes at the vast amounts of sunlight that entered through the windows, “too bright in here, isn’t it?”

“what are you doing back in japan?” he asked, eyes growing wide as he’s unsure if the sight in front of him was actually real.

“visiting family, taking a little vacation.” oikawa replied, leaning back in his seat, “so how do you know the happy couple?”

“i...i'm not sure.” kageyama admitted, looking down at his lap in embarrassment.

“can you keep a secret tobio?” oikawa leaned in to whisper, waiting for him to nod before continuing, “i don’t think i know them either.”

it was about halfway through the ceremony and oikawa was getting just a little bit restless; he loved weddings, truly, but this one was dragging on much longer than the ones he previously attended. his gaze was lingering everywhere — from the loved-up gazes of the couple, the flowers that lined the aisles, to the guests who hung onto every word of the vows. one of the guests in particular was more familiar than most.

“pst, tobio.” he spoke, nudging kageyama’s shoulder, “doesn’t that guy look familiar?”

he tilted his head towards the man who sat at the very back row, trying his best to keep a relatively low profile. kageyama followed with his eyes, attempting to be as discreet as he could. he recognised the man immediately, “that’s ushijima-san!”

maybe kageyama had exclaimed a little too loudly, earning himself a few shhhhs from the people who sat around him. he bows his head slightly as an apology while oikawa bites his lip to hold in his laughter.

the three of them were able to meet up during the reception, opting to sit at the same table — the one farthest away from everyone as to not draw any attention to themselves. well, oikawa insisted that they did and kageyama and ushijima didn’t really know anyone else to be comfortable enough to sit with them.

“what did you both get the bride and groom?” oikawa asked as an attempt to make conversation, taking a sip from the glass in front of them.

ushijima was one to spare no expense when it came to gifts, but he wasn’t one to brag about the cost of it either, “just a simple tea set. nothing much.”

what he failed to mention was that simple tea set cost several thousands of yen. but of course, oikawa took it as a bit of an opportunity to one-up ushijima and brags about his gifts. yes, gifts. plural.

ushijima was in the bathroom and oikawa had gotten the attention of a couple of bridesmaids — flirting with him while he tried his best to subtly deflect their advances — leaving kageyama all alone at the table.

he felt a hand tap on his shoulder, soft and hesitant, “kageyama tobio?”

“yes?” kageyama asked, turning to face the source of the voice. he’s met with a teenage boy, possibly not older than sixteen, looking at him with complete nervousness in his eyes.

“i'm sorry to bother you. but i've just been such a huge fan of yours for the longest time and i wasn’t even sure if i should approach you but i really needed to let you know how much you have inspired me and i still have so much to learn but...uh, yeah.” the boy finished, looking at everything but kageyama at that point.

and a light flush colors kageyama’s cheeks, completely flustered. it was the first time anyone had approached him like that before, and he’s unsure how exactly to take the compliments. but he noticed the way the fan’s hands trembled, and he recalls all the times he’s approached the players he was a fan of when he was his age. “is there anything you need help with?”

needless to say, oikawa and ushijima were surprised when they found their table completely devoid of kageyama’s presence; only to find him in the incredibly large hallways with a makeshift volleyball court with chairs haphazardly stacked on top one another.

“where did you get that?” ushijima asked, pointing towards the volleyball that kageyama held in his hands.

“my car.” he replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“well then,” oikawa smirked, eyes lighting up as he looked around the halls, especially at the gathering crowd, “how about a friendly little match?”

kageyama and the fan he was meant to be teaching stood on one side of the makeshift court while oikawa and ushijima stood opposite them, getting into position. most of the guests had their phones out, recording everything and posting it on social media.

“at least i will finally know what it’s like to finally play with you in a team instead of against you.” ushijima commented, briefly glancing at his teammate for the night.

oikawa choked on air, taking a few seconds to compose himself before responding, “should have come to shiratorizawa, huh?”

it was barely even noticeable, barely lasted a few seconds, but ushijima cracked a smile.

the night ends with the newlyweds approaching the three of them, expressing their gratefulness for their invitations but also apologising for stealing their thunder on their wedding, going so far as to offering to pay for their honeymoon.

“as tempting as that may be,” the bride smiled, “it really is no problem. we’re surprised that you even attended in the first place.

the groom nodded in agreement, “we had a lot of fun watching you play tonight, so we feel like we should be thanking you more. you didn’t have to bring gifts too.”

oikawa waved a hand as if to say it’s nothing, while kageyama and ushijima offer tickets to their next match in exchange for photos from the wedding — particularly that of their little volleyball match.

the three of them finally make their way out into the night and into their respective cars, but not before oikawa lets out one more question.

“the three of us should hang out more,” oikawa smiled, not a trace of teasing or malice in his tone, just a genuine offer, “at least once before i get back to argentina.”

years ago, none of them would even consider such a thing, but all three liked to think that they moved past such trivial things.

kageyama gave him a small smile, “alright.”

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

a question: what would the hq characters be like at a wedding? | written on the margins masterlist

taglist : @haikyuutothetop @crystal-lilac @tobioespresso @sushijimawakatoshi @itsmeaudrieee @pantherhappy @jesssobs @mysticstrawberryballoon @cloudedsky_29 @sakusasimpbot

join my hq taglist here. <3

#didn’t think i’d be thinking about timeskip!oikawa-kageyama-ushijima dynamics tonight #but here i am and i loved writing these lil scenarios #written on the margins 🔖#oikawa headcanons #kageyama headcanons #ushijima headcanons #oikawa scenarios #kageyama scenarios #ushijima scenarios #🎐 — 🌙anon! <3

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labyrinth-runner · 4 years ago

Text

Here We Are Now

TGT Chapter 5

Read the rest here

Not My Gif

A week had passed since they had been reunited. Estelle had spent the week dodging her father's questions about her potential suitors. Now, she was at Annalise's house to discuss their respective weeks.

"You snuck out of the house?" Annalise asked with a laugh. "Oh, Elle, that's rich!"

Estelle blushed slightly. "Well, I couldn't just leave him standing out there. That would be rude."

"Oh, of course. We wouldn't want to show poor manners to a man who shows up at your house well past the appropriate times to call on someone," Annalise smirked as she took a sip of tea. "Where did you go at that hour? I suppose all the respectable places would be closed by then."

"We went to Grub Street," Estelle murmured, pouring herself a cup of tea. The roses in Anna's garden were suddenly more interesting than the conversation at hand.

"Oh, Elle, you didn't!" Annalise gasped. "That's where all the people of ill renown and poor students live! That's hardly a place for you. How did Christian even know about it?"

"A friend from school lives there. You might actually like him," Estelle replied. "We actually had a lot of fun. I met some very intriguing people and we had deeper discussions than what normally is deemed appropriate in society."

"That actually does sound like a good time," Annalise smiled. "Perhaps the next time you sneak out, you'll have to stop by and fetch me... On second thought, I prefer my beauty rest. However, if this man that you think I'd enjoy ever happens to be around, you'll have to introduce me."

Estelle smiled, "Alright, Anna. If we're ever in the same place as Mr. Cavanaugh, I'll make sure to introduce you."

"But, only if I look alluring. If I'm having a poor complexion or hair day, please save me from the embarrassment. I only wish to put my best foot forward," Annalise said pointedly.

Estelle shook her head. "Of course, Anna. Wouldn't want a man to possibly fall for you at your worst. Then we'd know he'd really like you at your best."

"You know that's not what I meant," Annalise admonished. "I just... would rather not look like a garden gnome if I'm to meet a man who might become special to me. First impressions are important."

Estelle had to laugh. "Are they?"

Annalise tilted her head. "You know, you've never told me how you and Christian met."

Estelle blushed. "There's not much to tell. We were neighbors."

"Yes, but I've been to the country estate when you owned it. I know how far it is to the next house," Annalise shot back. "You're blushing. There is a story there, isn't there? Oh, Elle, don't leave your best friend in the dark! Come on, now, out with it."

Estelle sighed. "Anna, has anyone ever told you that you're a bit commandeering when it comes to conversations?"

"My mother always says that I'm a little too pushy for my own good, but I think that just makes me endearing," Annalise smirked.

Estelle rolled her eyes. "Well, since you asked. It's... an interesting story. Definitely not a great first impression..."

She was running. She hated her tutor, especially when they wanted to discuss philosophy when all she wanted to do was play. It was difficult to look out at the breeze blowing on the meadows and think that she'd have to spend her day stuck inside discussing men who have been dead for centuries when all she wanted was to smell the flowers and roll down hills until her dress was so soiled that her mother would yell. Estelle was only ten, and had an air of freedom and adventure about her that only young children had. That was why she'd snuck out. She'd asked to be excused to use the restroom and had climbed out the window, using the lattice on the side as a ladder to reach the ground. After peering around to make sure that no one would see her in order to tattle to her parents, she took off towards the far end of the estate. The grass was up to her chest as she walked through, and she could barely see her feet as she crested the hill. That was precisely how she had missed the fallen log in her path which sent her tripping end over head and rolling down the hill. She let out a cry of surprise as she spun down the grassy expanse until she saw a blur of color in her vision up ahead. What was that?

"Hey! Stop!" a voice called out, but it was too late. She had barrel rolled into something hard and less forgiving than grass, knocking the wind out of her.

"I-is the world done spinning?" she asked dizzily as she tried to straighten herself out. There was something squishy under her knee.

"Don't you know better than to roll down hills?" a voice replied.

Estelle peeked up at the owners... owner? It looked like there were two of them, but as her vision started to sort itself out, they morphed into one slightly annoyed boy's face.

"I didn't roll down the hill," Estelle said adamantly.

"No, I suppose you just happened to appear on top of me and my picnic then?" the voice shot back.

"No, I mean... I didn't intend to roll down the hill," Estelle corrected. "I tripped on a log."

"Oh," the boy replied. "Well, in that case I can't really blame you for smushing my sandwich."

"Sandwich?" she asked in confusion.

"Under your knee," the boy stated, helping her up so that she wasn't laying against his chest and between his legs anymore. As she pulled back to kneel on her heels, she noticed the jam sandwich under her knee, staining her dress.

"Oh, mother is going to kill me," she muttered as she lifted her knee to remove the squished sandwich.

"It was an accident. Surely she'll take that into account," the boy replied, offering her a cloth to wipe off the extra bits of jam on her dress.

"Well, she'll already be quite cross that I skipped my lessons. This will just be adding insult to injury," Estelle sighed.

"You skipped your lessons?" the boy asked in awe. "It seems we have a delinquent on our hands."

"I am not a delinquent! I just... wanted to be outside. It's such a nice day out. I didn't want to spend it cooped up inside studying philosophy."

"That is understandable. Philosophy is so much nicer outside," he smiled.

"What do you mean?" Estelle asked, tilting her head.

"Well, you can see bits of philosophy more clearly in nature. In nature there's a certain truth to things. Or at least, that's what my tutor says. I mostly see beauty, but I suppose there's a truth in that as well," the man replied.

"I think I'd prefer to take lessons with your tutor," Estelle grinned.

"What's your name? Perhaps I can convince my father to send a letter to your parents so that you may use my tutor," the boy offered.

"Estelle Devereux," she replied, holding her hand out to him.

"I'm Christian Thompson," he said with a curt nod, taking her hand. Instead of shaking it, he kissed the back of her hand. She looked away with a blush. This boy certainly was silly.

"Thompson," she murmured, "I think your father is a friend of mine. Your estate is Rouge Meadows, correct? I believe that we are neighbors."

"As close to neighbors as one can get in the country," Christian smiled. "It's nice to meet you. I've been wondering about the house that was built next door for a while now."

"I hope we can be more than just neighbors. With no one else around for miles, I hope we can become friends," Estelle smiled.

"I'd like that," Christian beamed.

Annalise laughed as Estelle finished her story. "I can't believe you landed in his sandwich!"

Estelle blushed, "Gravity has no care for where you land. Besides, according to Sir Isaac Newton, if Christian hadn't been there, it could have been a lot longer before I stopped rolling. However, that's beside the point. Not every first impression has to be good in order for the relationship to be."

Annalise nodded, "I suppose you're right." She looked out over her garden and sighed. "I'm looking forward to seeing new plants and displays this week at the Great Spring Show. I feel as though it's about time to change things up around here."

Estelle brightened. "Oh, I love the Great Spring Show. I heard they have at least five marquees this year at the Temple Gardens. There's been a lot of talk of this one called 'The Lover's Arch.' I'm excited to see it. Since it's open to almost anyone, perhaps I can see if Christian will invite Mr. Cavanaugh so that you can meet."

"That would be lovely," Annalise smiled, "However, if he cannot attend, it isn't the end of the world. Mr. Phillips will be there, and my mother seems to think he could be a suitable match for me. I just wish the man weren't so boring. He came to call on me a few days ago and he wouldn't stop discussing the grandfather clock in our drawing room, and you know how it is when you discuss time. It always passes by more slowly the more you mention it. I swear, Elle, it was the longest hour of my life."

Estelle chuckled. "If I may borrow one of your servants, I'll send a note to Christian."

Annalise nodded, ringing the bell for a maid to come forward. "Elizabeth, if you could fetch a paper, pen, and an envelope for Ms. Devereux, I would truly appreciate it."

"Yes, Miss," Elizabeth replied before going to fetch those items. When she returned she placed them on the table for Estelle. Estelle quickly penned a note and sealed it up, handing it back to her.

"If you could make sure this reaches it's destination, Elizabeth, that would be lovely. Thank you," Estelle smiled.

"Of course, Miss," Elizabeth nodded in deference.

Estelle turned back to her friend, "Well, Anna. This has been lovely. I should probably get going, but I'll see you at the Great Spring Show tomorrow."

"I'm excited for the fireworks at the end of the event."

Estelle smiled as she stood and smoothed out her skirts. "They're said to be spectacular this year. "

"Have a safe trip home," Annalise smiled as Estelle made her way back through the garden gate to her waiting carriage.

Estelle made her way home and enjoyed a quiet evening at home for the first time in days. It was almost odd to not have spent some part of the day with Christian, but she had to get used to it. After all, even if they were to get married someday, there could be times when they didn't see each other. She would have to learn to make do. That didn't change the fact that she was so very bored as she worked on her sewing pattern.

"Sister, that's the fifth time you've sighed in the past ten minutes," Mary grumbled. "If you're going to be like this, then just go to bed. The sooner you sleep, the sooner tomorrow can come."

"I suppose you're right," she sighed. "Maybe I'll go up to my room to write a bit before going to bed."

"I don't care what you do as long as you stop sighing in my ear. It is loud, obnoxious, and annoying," Mary snapped.

Estelle chuckled. "Alright, alright. I'm leaving."

She put her sewing pattern down and went up to retire for the evening. After getting dressed for bed, she sat down at her desk to write. Originally, she had planned on writing in her journal, but instead she found herself writing poems. The words poured out from her soul, and she realized upon rereading them, that they all were about Christian.

"Oh, I truly have it bad," she sighed at herself. A part of her grimaced upon hearing her sigh. Mary was right. It was irksome. With a shake of her head, she gave up and went to bed. Falling asleep in eager anticipation for the next morning.

When she awoke the next morning, she breezed through the hours before Christian came to fetch her for the Great Spring Show. She was excited. The Great Spring Show had always been one of her mother's favorite events of the season due to the colorful flower displays. She practically ran out the door when he arrived.

He had to chuckle at her enthusiasm. "Are you excited for the Garden Show?"

She smiled. "Yes, I am, Mr. Thompson. A whole bunch of flowers... I can almost smell them."

He smiled as he offered her his arm, taking in her green dress with a floral pattern on it. "I see you are dressed for the occasion."

She shrugged. "When in Rome."

"Well, Darling, you might be the loveliest flower there today," he grinned.

Estelle blushed, "Speaking of other attendees... will Mr. Cavanaugh be there? Annalise was hoping to meet him."

"I sent him the invitation. Whether or not he chooses to appear is up to him. William is a bit of a free spirit," Christian grinned.

"I figured as much," Estelle smiled, "Well, let's get going. Flowers wait for no one."

The two of them quickly made their way to the Temple Gardens, taking in the colorful explosion on the various marquees.

"I don't think I've ever seen so many flowers in one place," Estelle murmured in awe. The displays were spectacular. There was one that was in the shape of an Elephant, crowned with roses. It was titled the Maharaja. There were steps built into the side so that one could walk up to sit in the caravan of sunflowers on its back. They walked along, admiring the various displays until they came across Annalise waiting by a woman selling roses. Coincidentally, they saw Mr. Cavanaugh waiting across the way.

"William!" Christian called out, waving him over. The four met up near a bench off to the side of the foot traffic.

"Christian," William smiled, clapping him on the back. He then respectfully bowed to Estelle. "Ms. Devereux, a pleasure as always."

"Mr. Cavanaugh, I'd like you to meet my friend, Annalise Renton," Estelle said, gesturing to Anna. "Anna, this is Mr. William Cavanaugh."

William's eyes widened slightly as he met Annalise's eyes. He gallantly stepped forward to take her hand and kiss it. "Ms. Renton, I'm thoroughly enchanted by your presence."

Annalise blushed, "Mr. Cavanaugh, I've heard quite a bit about you."

William blushed, "All good things, I pray."

"Only the best," Annalise smiled.

With some reluctance, he let go of her hand. Christian and Estelle shared a smile and a look.

"Well, since Mr. Thompson is escorting me around, I think it would only make sense for you to escort Ms. Renton, don't you, Mr. Cavanaugh?"

William swallowed, and nodded. "O-of course. I would be delighted." He offered Annalise his arm. "Ms. Renton, may I have the honor?"

"You may," Annalise replied coyly, slipping her arm into his. The couples broke off to explore more, but Estelle kept an eye on her friends.

"They're getting along quite nicely," Estelle murmured to Christian.

"Even if they are in two different leagues," Christian replied sadly.

Estelle felt a slight pang of guilt. "Do you think I shouldn't have introduced them?"

"I don't know, Darling. Part of me feels as though we've set them up for failure, but they are also adults and can make their own decisions. If I'm being honest, William does have some background in society. He just turned his back on it for the Bohemian lifestyle. His sister is currently in charge of the estate, but I'm sure if he ever wanted to come back, he'd be welcomed with open arms," he explained.

Estelle nodded. That made her feel a little better.

They stopped in front of a maze. It was made out of hedges and potted trees.

"Step up and test the strength of your love!" a barker said beside it.

"How do you suppose we do that?" Christian asked, taking the bait.

"You see, lad. You and your lovely lady here will each enter the maze from two different sides. You'll each be given a map, but the directions are for your partner's path. It's up to you to make it to the center of the maze together, because you need two hands to open the gate under the lover's arch which leads to the stairs to get out of the maze," the barker replied as he pointed at the stairs. They were decorated with a rainbow made of flowers, going over the entire maze, leading from what was presumably the center to the a path outside the maze which led back to the event.

"What do you say, Ms. Devereux, shall we test our relationship?" Christian asked in amusement.

"I think it will be fun," she smiled.

Christian paid the man for their maps and then they lined up at their respective starting lines. When the barker nodded at them, they entered the maze.

"Alright, Ellie, it looks like you need to take a right at the fork up ahead," Christian called out.

"And you had better take the middle path," Estelle replied.

Together, they worked their way through the maze of green. The further along they got, the darker the sky became as the day whittled away. When they broke into the opposite sides of the center clearing, it was like an explosion of color between the sunset above and the flowers around. There were red roses, pink peonies, yellow sunflowers, and many more flowers that Estelle didn't even recognize. She slowly turned in a circle, taking it all in before facing the heart shaped arch covered in flowers. There was a door with instructions as to how to open it.

"This is beautiful," she murmured.

"It is," Christian replied, coming up behind her. He gently wrapped his arms around her waist as they spent a moment together in silence, just admiring the view.

"I suppose we should figure out the gate," she replied, looking up at the sky. "It's getting late. They should be starting the end of event fireworks soon."

"In a moment," he replied. "I was wondering if we could talk about something important."

Estelle turned in his arms to face him. "Of course."

"Well, I think this maze proved the strength of our bond rather nicely," he smirked.

"We did manage to get through it together," she smiled back.

"And that's just it. We did it together, just like old times. You make all of this not feel like I'm just playing a part. My father and I have been having some difficulties at home due to how I present myself and the fact that I probably talk too much. I love the fact that with you, I can just be myself, even if for a moment. Part of me... wants to make that moment last forever," he murmured, gently reaching out to cup her cheek. He stroked his thumb across her soft skin. The darkness was quickly setting in around them as the sun finally disappeared below the horizon. All around, little fireflies came to life from within the flowers.

"That's the problem with moments," she replied, "Their own nature means that they can't last forever."

"I suppose I'll just have to create so many moments that it feels as if they never end," he smiled, pulling her into him.

She broke out in a grin as he hugged her close, spinning her around a bit. When he set her back down, she felt that familiar magnetic pull into him. Her eyes closed as his hands settled on her face to bring her in for a kiss. She melted into him as flickers of light lit up the sky as fireworks boomed themselves into noisy existence before twinkling out into the vast expanse of the night sky. It was funny, really, seeing the physical manifestations of the way kissing him made her feel. As the fireworks started to speed up, crackling in a crescendo above them to signify the finale, they pulled apart, looking up at the sky to watch. Well, Estelle watched. Christian was too busy watching how the lights illuminated Estelle's face, highlighting her features in a way that he wish he could put into words. A silence settled in after the last firework fizzled out of existence with less fanfare than had accompanied its creation. Estelle's eyes settled back down from the sky to find Christian's blue gaze intent on her face.

"They'll be looking for us," she replied.

"We should go find them," he agreed.

Together, they opened the gate and crossed the rainbow bridge back to the event. They found their friends deep in discussion on a bench.

"There you two are," Annalise grinned. "We were beginning to think that you had left us behind."

"And leave without saying goodbye? Perish the thought," Estelle teased.

Annalise's eyes narrowed on Estelle and Christian, taking in how they were standing with each other. Something had changed. That much she knew.

"Well, Ms. Renton, I've had a lovely evening with you," William announced.

"Perhaps we could share a carriage?" Annalise proposed.

"That will be a trip for the two of you," Christian replied. "I'll be walking Ms. Devereux home. It isn't far and it's a lovely night."

Annalise nodded. "Alright, well, take care, you two." Then, she turned to Mr. Cavanaugh. "Shall we?"

"We shall," he smiled as he led her away.

Christian and Estelle chuckled as they watched them leave.

As Estelle and Christian made their way back to her home, they walked in silence for a moment.

"Thank you," Christian finally said.

"For what?" she asked in confusion.

"Always supporting me. With everything going on with at home, having your support has meant a lot," he murmured.

Estelle tipped up and kissed his cheek. "I'll always be here for you. Besides, the sooner that society sees that the Bohemians value some of the same things as they do, the better. For instance, that flower show would be a Bohemian's dream. All that beauty in one place? Truly magnificent."

He gave her a slight smile. "I guess you're right."

They came to a stop in front of her house. "Well, here we are now. This has been a perfect night," she sighed in content.

"It really has," he grinned.

"Will I see you soon?" she asked.

"I hope so," he replied, "Well, good night, Ms. Devereux."

He bowed slightly to her before turning to leave, but she took hold of his arm to stop him.

"Christian, wait."

"What is it?" he asked in concern.

"Well... I couldn't let you leave without letting you know that I want to create as many moments with you as you'll allow," she said softly.

He broke out in a wide grin, "And now that you have?"

"Now I can say good night," she smiled, gently letting her hand drop from his arm.

"Good night, Ellie."

"Good night, Christian."

Estelle made her way back into her house, leaning her back against the door as she heard it click closed behind her. Oh, what a night.

#The Greatest Thing #Christian x OC #Ch 5 #Here We Are Now

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something-tofightfor · 5 years ago

Text

Christmas in Wyoming - Epilogue

Pairing: Logan Delos x Reader

Word count:8550 (Yikes)

Rating: M (language... lil bit of zest)

Author’s Note: This took a week to get out, but I needed some time. It’s long...but it ties lots of things up. This is the end for Hallmark Logan... or is it?

Thank you all for reading, and for loving this Logan. Thanks for indulging me As always, I truly appreciate every single one of you.

Taglist: feel free to ask me to remove you… or to add you!

@banditthewriter @breanime @obscurilicious @madamrogers @suchatinyinfinity @chibiyanai @songtoyou @ethereal-heavcns @editboutique @marauderskeeper @drinix @ilkaeliseb @delicatelilyflower @king4thesirens @blah-blah-fuckit-shit @ymariejp @mr-robot-x @rageshots @shinebrightlikeafanbase @littlemermaidprobz @introvertedlibrary @writing-for-a-chance @yesixoxo @ilikebeachessushiandsmallanimals @likeorions @swiftyhowlz @dylanobrusso @benbarnestongue @its-my-little-dumpster-fire @the-blind-assassin-12 @dreamwritesimagines @waytoobsessedwithmyfandoms @lexxierave @ms-delos @elanor-of-imladris @lynne1993 @dreams-with-thoughts @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @mfackenthal @traeumerinwitzhelden @bucky-is-my-precious @weallhaveadestiny @ladyblablabla @sweetybuzz25 @luminex3 @christinawxxx @thesumofmychoices @audreychaz @tc-elliot @kind-wolf @gollyderek @honeyydippaa @thesandbeneathmytoes @malik-payne @geeksareunique @bellastellaluna @agentlingerie @elioelioeli0 @wangmangagavroche @projectcampbell

“I can’t believe how right you were.” Logan groaned as he spoke, lips next to your ear. “These loft beds are somethin’ else.” Turning your head toward him you nodded before you kissed him tenderly, hand moving to the side of his face so that you could twist the hair behind his ear around your finger. And you didn’t take me up on it when you were here in December. “You nervous about tomorrow?” He pulled away from you, bracing himself on his elbow, running the fingers of his free hand gently down the skin of your neck and toward your shoulder, squeezing the sweat-slicked skin. “Everything… it’ll be real then.” It will.

“Yeah, Logan.” You closed your eyes, shifting beneath him and letting your hand fall away from his face onto the bed, your fingers disappearing into the tangled sheets. “It will.” It was the middle of July, the weather as far away from the way that it had been the first time Logan had visited as it could have possibly been - but he was back. “I’m not the one that has to be nervous, though. We’ve already done the hard part, it’s you…”

“Yeah,” he cleared his throat, sitting up and shaking his head. “Yeah, I’ve gotta explain, don’t I?” You sat up too, unbothered that you were naked from the waist up, skin exposed to Logan in the moonlight that was streaming in through the windows. “It hasn’t even been a year, am I the best person for this?” He turned the upper half of his body toward you and you could feel how tense he was, see the anxiety written on his face. Oh, Logan. “Rehab never worked for me, why -”

“Logan.” You shifted on the bed, kneeling in front of him and placing your hands on his shoulders, staring into his eyes. “You haven’t used, right?” He shook his head no. “You haven’t wanted to, either?” Another shake of his head, but he paused while opening his mouth. “The closest you’ve come was Juliet and Willam announcing that they’re pregnant, right?” He nodded a third time, eyes focused on you. “Then it is working, Logan. A traditional facility wasn’t the right place for you. A celebrity rehab wasn’t what you needed.” You took a breath. “I can’t pretend to know what you went through or exactly what you’re going through, but this, Logan?” You dropped a hand, fingertips resting on the inside of his right elbow - atop the perfect, unblemished skin. “This?” You squeezed his arm, moving your hand up to his thick bicep. “These?” Your other hand dropped to his abdomen pushing firmly against the defined muscle. “It’s progress. It hasn’t been a year yet, and you’ve gained what, twenty pounds? You look incredible, and the fact that it’s happening is more than enough.” You licked your lips, shaking your head back and forth. “This...it’s not going to work for everyone, but the fact that you recognize that it might have worked for you if it had been available is …” A slew of words ran through your head. Enough. Helpful, Necessary. Encouraging. “... it’s a start, Logan. There’s always room for improvement, but you have to start somewhere.”

He was silent, watching you, and you stared back at him, unafraid to look in the way that you had been in December, or even in April, when you’d visited Los Angeles, you and Logan taking a long weekend to go up to Isabella Lake and visit the inspiration for the new Fireside, a rehab retreat this one of Logan’s closest friends - and biggest supporters, Lincoln - had opened two years previously. You looked at him freely now, because he told you that he needed you to, that he didn’t want things to change between you just because he technically - although not yet completely officially on paper - owned the resort. You weren’t his girlfriend; Logan had told you that he wanted to wait until he’d been sober for at least a year before he even thought about having a serious relationship, but he reminded you at every opportunity that he was different now - that things were different when it came to how he viewed himself - and your place in his life. “Why do you believe in me?” He spoke quietly again, a tremble in his voice. “This is what I want to do, this is what I want, but why do you … you don’t know me, you know what you’ve seen for a few days or weeks at a time, you’ve never…”

“Logan…” You settled back onto your calves, putting your hands flat on the tops of your thighs. “You saved this place, and gave us an option when we had nothing.” You didn’t have to. “You could have come out here, told my aunt and uncle that you wanted to buy us out, not even giving a shit about what I thought, and then done whatever to it.” You pushed off of the mattress, walking over to the window - not even caring that you were completely nude. “But you didn’t. You worked with them - with me - and you had a plan. You always had a plan, and we were always included.” Turning back to face him, you held your hands up. “I believe in you, Logan, because those aren’t the actions of someone that’s on the edge of losing it. Those aren’t … you’re trying to do what’s right, and for you, that means helping people, because you can.” Silent, you waited for his response, but it didn’t come as you expected.

Logan stood, bending over and pulling on his shorts. “Get dressed.” You frowned but did as he asked, pulling on the dress that you’d been wearing when he’d showed up at your door in a rental car three hours earlier, pushing you back against the exposed beam of your front porch and kissing you like he had the day you’d left California - like he’d been waiting for it for months, just like you were. You climbed down the ladder before Logan, standing in the living room and waiting. “Shoes.” you put on your flats, Logan slipping his feet into a pair of Adidas running shoes and then taking your hand, pulling you out the front door of his cabin and into the rapidly cooling night. Though the temperature in Jackson Hole was warm during the day, it wasn’t uncommon for it to be downright chilly in the nighttime hours - something you were used to, but you figured that Logan was not. He strode purposefully back and toward the lodge, hand still tightly wrapped around yours. “It looks good.”

He stopped a few paces before the construction fence, squaring his shoulders and taking a deep breath. You leaned into Logan’s side, nodding. By the middle of March, there was a construction team that had arrived on site, blocking off the front half of the RV park, the bare bones of a large intake and treatment facility going up in a little under a month. Things had progressed quickly from there, and though you’d had to speak with previously booked RV guests, offering them refunds and explaining to them that there were some renovations happening - but that they could still park their vehicles in the back part of the lot, that one of the access roads was still usable, you were still operating Fireside as close to normally as possible with one huge difference: Elle and Brandon were gone.

The initial deal with Logan sold 49% of your resort to his company Kynthos - a subsidiary of Delos, allowing him to make changes as long as they were approved by you. With 51% ownership, you were the majority owner of Fireside, as had been transferred to you by your aunt and uncle in the middle of January. Logan hadn’t been able to come out in February to sign the contracts in person to purchase his portion, instead sending a representative to handle the situation. You’d been disappointed, because you wanted to see him - but had understood that he was busy with Delos and couldn’t simply leave just to watch you put a few signatures on some documents and maybe spend a night or two with you. But he wasn’t keeping you in the dark - Logan’s lawyers worked with you every step of the way, outlining the transfer from Brandon and Elle to you, ensuring that the purchase price of Logan’s initial portion went straight to them, allowing them to leave and start living their retirement dream: building a house on an empty plot of land on South Padre Island in Texas.

You’d been shocked at the valuation of the property, even moreso when it had been explained to you that when Logan purchased the remaining 51% of the property and everything was finalized - which was what the announcement the following day was - you’d be receiving much more than Brandon and Elle had, even though the percentages were so close. Essentially, you’d gone from having what you needed to get by to having more than you knew what to do with, and for the first time in your life, you had options. “Yeah, Logan. They’ve done a good job.”

“All people see are my failures.” His hand tightened on your hip, pulling you closer. “And when I make this announcement tomorrow, they’re going to see me - someone that has been in and out of so many facilities that it’s…” He shook his head. “I need to make them understand. No one should feel like I did, like there’s nothing out there for them, or there’s no hope.” He pointed at the mostly finished building. “Lincoln’s place in California is successful. He’s helped so many people, and he’s kept me… from making a lot of bad choices even worse. I want that here. I want this place to do for them what nowhere did for me.” I get it, Logan.

“Then show, them, Logan. Show them you’re serious, that things can change. Show them that you…” He looked down, eyes locking on yours. Show them that you’re capable of this, because you don’t need to show me - I already see it. “Prove it, Logan Delos.” His chest rose and fell rapidly, the bright light of the moon reflecting in his eyes and he nodded, mouth set in a straight line. “You gotta prove it.”

---

The following afternoon, you were finishing getting ready in the room that you’d always stayed in, putting your lipstick on in the mirror when David knocked on the door frame, poking his head in. “They’re starting to arrive. Lincoln and Mr. Delos’ lawyer are here too, and so are Brandon and Elle.” You hadn’t seen your aunt and uncle in a few months, but them coming back was a show of solidarity to you and to Logan, as well as to the community, proving that they were behind the idea, that they were in support of changing Fireside’s purpose for the better. You nodded at David - the only employee that you’d worked into the contract, giving him the right to stay on even after you no longer owned the resort, which was something that Logan (and Lincoln) had been more than happy to accommodate. This would stay true as long as David was willing to submit to regular drug testing to maintain standards, and he’d been more than willing to agree. Finally ready, you stepped away from the mirror, making sure that your dress was straight and your hair looked presentable. Here we go.

By the time you walked into the main lobby of the lodge - the room where Logan had played the piano for you on Christmas - there was a small group of people gathered. Hugging your aunt and uncle tightly, you began to ask them how they were, but Elle gestured with her hand toward the back windows, shaking her head. “Not now, he needs you.” Logan was staring out the window at the construction site, his hands in his pockets. He looked put together - dressed in a three piece suit in a deep black, the collar of a red shirt poking out against his pale neck, and without pause, you stepped next to him, reaching out to squeeze his wrist.

“Logan?” He turned to look at you with worry on his face, but that didn’t stop him from assessing you from head to toe, gaze softening as he did so. “You alright?”

“You look beautiful.” He smiled at you, some of the distance clearing from his eyes. “I know we said that you’d sit during my speech, but…” He licked his lips, a hand going up to the back of his neck. “Will you… stand with me?” Is that a good idea? Thinking through your answer, you realized that you didn’t care what people thought - that it made sense for you to stand with Logan, no matter what your status with him was - or wasn’t.

“Of course, Logan.” You swallowed, moving closer to him. “If you need me, I -” He swiftly turned, his hands cupping both sides of your face as he leaned in, kissing you in full view of ten people - a surprise, since only Lincoln, Brandon and Elle had ever seen it happen before. You whispered his name as he pulled away, resolve on his face. The room had quieted down, but as you looked around, no one seemed surprised at the development, Elle grinning widely. Hmm. Logan also seemed unconcerned, turning back to the window and reciting his speech under his breath, hand gripping yours tightly..

---

Twenty minutes later, a crowd had assembled in the designated area, taking seats in the shade from the trees behind the lodge. They were joined by Brandon, Elle, your employees and the lawyer, leaving you alone with Logan and Lincoln. Three news crews? You shook your head, eyes moving over the parked cars and you fought to keep your breathing steady. If it wasn’t Delos, it wouldn’t be a big deal. “You ready?” Lincoln stepped forward, putting a hand on Logan’s shoulder. “You’ve got this, Log. Just a few minutes - just the basics. Then I’ll take over. I’m going to go tell them you’ll be out in a few, alright?” He smiled kindly at you, nodded at Logan and then walked out of the room.

You watched Logan take a deep breath, standing up straight, and when he looked back at you, raising an eyebrow to ask if you were ready to go, you stepped forward, reaching out to squeeze his hand again. “You can do this, Logan. I’m right here.”

“You are, aren’t you.” It wasn’t a question, and Logan regarded you carefully before he dropped your hand, stepping toward the door. Yeah. I … am. You followed him out the door and down the short hallway toward the back exit, stepping out into the sunlight and walking toward the gathered group of people and the podium that had been set up, Logan’s company logo beneath your own on the front. Weird. The murmurs grew louder as you got closer to the front, but you ignored them, focusing on breathing. This is it. Giving up the future that I thought… When you reached the front of the seating area, you looked at Logan and he nodded at you, blinking twice before he dropped into one of the empty chairs.

Taking your place in front of the assembled crowd, you took a deep breath. You didn’t know a lot of the people in front of you, but you saw familiar faces sprinkled throughout - people from town, your employees, Ana and Gina… even Emma and her parents were there, near the front and looking decidedly unhappy. Good. Emma’s gaze moved to Logan and you felt a strange calm moving through your body as you looked down and then back out, over the crowd. “Hi.” Your amplified voice carried and though your heart was pounding, your eyes slid over to Logan, finding him watching you with a look of pride on his face. You can do this. “As many of you know, over the last few months, we’ve undergone some changes to improve the Fireside property.” You turned, pointing to the construction before looking back at those in front of you. “This is just the beginning, but it’s all due to the involvement of someone that came to us during a time when we truly needed him.” You looked back at Logan, seeing that he was smiling, teeth just visible behind his lips and his brown eyes bright - and focused entirely on you.

“Many of you also know that I took over ownership of Fireside earlier this year, and my aunt and uncle were able to begin their retirement in Texas sooner than planned.” You felt your tongue darting out to wet your lips. “With their encouragement, I agreed to a deal with this… with Mr. Logan Delos, and one of his Delos Inc. subsidiaries, allowing the company to purchase just under half of Fireside.” The crowd reacted immediately, people’s eyes going wide and their jaws dropping before they started speaking quietly. “To make a long story short, they began to fund improvements and remodels of some of our buildings, and today, I’m announcing that effective at 5 pm, Fireside will belong fully to Kynthos - and specifically to Logan Delos.” The voices got louder, but you held up a hand, shaking your head. “But that’s not all.” You looked back at Logan, nodding and holding your hand out. “I’ve gotten the opportunity to know Logan over the last seven months, and there’s a lot more to him than most people think - and it’s time all of you learn that, too.” He stood, walking toward you, jaw working as he listened to you speak. Every word is the truth. “Logan’s got a lot to offer, and it’s about more than just a name, more than just financial support.” He took your hand, shaking it with an extra gentle squeeze at the end of the action and then dropped it, standing beside you. “Brandon and Elle believed in this place, and they believed in me, and I believe in Logan Delos and his vision for Fireside.”

You felt him stiffen next to you for a moment, but you stepped away, running your thumb down the back of his hand as you moved. “Hello.” Logan cleared his throat, looking out at the people watching him intently. “I found this resort at a difficult time in my life.” He took a deep breath. “Most of you know my history, and might not believe me when I tell you that my sobriety is one thing i’m taking very seriously - and I have been for the last few years, despite some setbacks.” Logan glanced over his shoulder at you, but continued. “Many of you don’t know that I relapsed last year, and checked into a rehabilitation facility… but I found that the environment, the other patients there were actually impeding my recovery chances.” He shook his head. “I failed.” Logan flattened his hand against the podium, long fingers spread out. “I failed, and left the treatment, but I didn’t go back to my old habits, even though I felt totally alone, and there were times I wanted to.” The crowd was silent, watching and listening to Logan raptly. “And during the time that I was trying to get better on my own, trying to overcome this addiction without the help of those who should have been closest to me, I made the decision to do something about it, and began my search.” Here it is, Logan, you’re almost done.

“I found Fireside and booked a stay here over Christmas of last year - unlike you were led to believe,” he barked the words, looking over at Emma and her parents before continuing. “I needed to get away, and this place was perfect. I saw the potential before I came, but it wasn’t until I got here that I experienced it.” Logan looked over at Brandon and Elle, pausing before speaking. “ Kynthos isn’t only purchasing Fireside, I intend to work with someone that is very close to me - someone that’s already found success with creating and operating a similar facility in California - to turn Fireside into the kind of place that can truly change a life for those that are dedicated.” Logan turned toward you, holding his hand out and you took it, stepping forward as his fingers linked with yours behind the platform. “Within the next twelve months - barring any setbacks or opposition from the people of Jackson Hole and Wilson, Fireside will transition from a vacation lodge and resort to an inpatient recovery center, dedicated to meeting the needs of and providing necessary support to people like me - and so many others.” Logan squeezed your hand tightly, and you felt his heartbeat through his palm.

“I believe in Logan.” You spoke again, repeating your previous words without thinking them through. “As soon as the sale is complete, Kynthos will release more information so that we can continue the renovations and move closer to opening.” You smiled, taking a deep breath and loosening your hold on Logan’s hand, but not letting go. Time to drop the bomb. “While we transition the property, we will remain open as a resort, and the current staff will stay in place, myself included.” You shrugged, grinning. “The plan is for us to stop taking reservations in March of next year, giving Lincoln time to get everything in place for the opening for the facility - at which time, I’ll completely be stepping away from Fireside, too.” You heard Logan’s small gasp but there was no other reaction, aside from his grip tightening on your hand again. “Thank you all for coming.” You nodded once, urging Logan forward.

“Yeah, thank you for your attention.” He cleared his throat, pulling his hand from yours and gesturing to Lincoln, who stood up, a grin on his face. “I’m just the backing for this project, I’d like to introduce you to the man that’s going to make it happen - Lincoln James.” You stepped away as the second man made his way to Logan’s side, shaking his hand and stepping behind the podium as you and Logan walked back to the empty seats, neither of you speaking. Once you were seated, your aunt reached over, taking your hand and squeezing as Lincoln started his speech, deep voice turning the attention of most of the audience from you and Logan back to him. “We’re gonna need to talk.” Logan leaned over, speaking softly into your ear. “Somethin’ important you need to tell me.” Yeah, Logan. There is.

---

You’d eaten a late lunch in the lodge with Brandon and Elle, Logan and Lincoln joining you, but the topic of you leaving Fireside hadn’t come up at all. You could tell that your uncle wanted to ask, but every time the conversation moved in that direction, your aunt had changed the subject - interjecting and asking Lincoln a question, talking about a different aspect of their house build. Logan had flown in on the jet with Lincoln, and when the man excused himself, saying that he needed to get back to the airfield as soon as possible to get back to Lake Isabella, your heart dropped. He’s leaving already. Despite the lack of commitment and the absence of a label for you and Logan, you knew that less than 24 hours wasn’t enough, that you didn’t want him to leave. Standing, you moved to gather the dirty dishes so that they could be carried into the kitchen, but Logan grabbed your wrist, pushing to his feet as well. “Let me help you.”

You didn’t speak, but you nodded at him, not meeting his eyes. He stacked the cups and flatware in a way that you never would have expected from someone that hadn’t ever even come close to needing to bus a table, following you into the kitchen. Working quickly, you separated the trash from the dishes, loading the dishwasher in almost complete silence. What do I say to him? The announcement had been made, the sale was final - and Logan no longer needed to be on-site, at least until the facility was completed and the next steps began. Why did I think he’d stay? Finally done, you turned around to look at Logan, not expecting the look of unease on his face that you found as he leaned back against the counter, the buttons on his jacket undone and his hands gripping the edge tightly. “Logan?”

“I’m not going back with Lincoln.” Logan licked his lips, shaking his head. “I planned on staying - here or with you, whatever you wanted… but I’m not…” With me? Now that people know, they’ll be looking, they… “Look,” he sighed heavily. “People aren’t stupid.” What? “We were holding hands at the podium for most of today, and I kissed you in front of your entire staff… it’s clear that something’s going on.”

“Logan, we don’t need to -” You stepped closer to him, tilting your head back to look at the ceiling. “We both know what this is, right? I don’t expect…”

“I’m not having this conversation with you in a kitchen.” He pushed away from the counter, one hand running through his hair. “Point is, if you want me to stay, I’m… I cleared my schedule for a couple days, to be here with you, so I have the time.” You did? For me? “Do you?” He’s not asking if I’m working, he’s asking if I have time for him. “But I can always fly back with Lincoln, that’s -”

“No.” Clearing your throat, you continued. “No, Logan, please stay.” He’d always been honest with you, and you wanted to give him the same courtesy. “I want you to stay.” Logan’s body deflated, and you realized that a large part of him thought that you would tell him to leave. Why? After last night? After… “Staying here will be more private since we have no guests right now, Logan.”

“I… I’d prefer to be in your house.” Eyes going wide, you nodded. “I’ll get my stuff, and then I can follow you there if you want?” When you nodded, Logan moved toward you, reaching out to squeeze your shoulder. “Alright.” Without another word, Logan turned and exited the kitchen, leaving you standing in front of the sink - completely confused.

---

At your house, Logan parked in the garage while you left your car in the driveway, meeting him in the living room. He placed his bag onto the floor behind the couch, walking over to the back window and looking out at your yard, hands behind his back. “Logan?” He didn’t acknowledge you right away, even though you made your way to stand beside him. “Your speech today was great.” Closing your eyes, you thought for a moment before continuing. “You didn’t try to sugarcoat anything, and everyone here will appreciate that, it means a lot that you’re so honest with -”

“Why are you leaving?” He looked down at you, head turned to face you though the rest of his body didn’t move. “This place is your home, you shouldn’t have to leave it just because we’re changing it.” Here we go. You hung your head, staring at your feet before you spoke again, certainty in your words.

“Logan, it… it was my home because Brandon and Elle were here.” You looked up, eyes on the glass. “When they left, it changed. I love Wyoming, I love Fireside, I love doing what I’m doing, but … it won’t be like that once you open the recovery center. I’d still be taking care of the same kinds of things I’m doing now, but it won’t be the same.” You frowned, unable to look at Logan. “The people that will be here need people that are totally equipped to help them, and that’s not me.”

“But you’re good at your job.” He turned his body, hands down at his sides. “I thought you wanted to stay, to make sure that we’re going to -”

“Logan, I trust you. I trust Lincoln. I don’t need to be here to micromanage, I can…” You shook your head. “Believe me, Logan, I’ve thought about this a lot in the last few months, ever since I got back from California, and it’s the best decision. I love this place, but without this - without total control over the resort, without the responsibility of …” You’re making no sense. “I want to go somewhere, Logan, where what I do makes a difference when it comes to whether or not something’s successful.” Finally looking at him, you stared into his eyes, pleading with him to understand. This isn’t easy. “There’s no better hands to leave Fireside in. You guys are capable, and I don’t need to stay here and…”

“Where will you go?” You saw his hand close into a loose fist, watched him clench his jaw again. “If you aren’t going to stay here, but you want to keep working, where are you going to go?”

“I don’t know, Logan. I guess… I’ll just look for openings, and go wherever I find something.” I don’t know.. “I have time to look, I’m going to wait until you open the place before I put the house up for sale, and…” His eyes widened. “There’s nothing here for me, Logan, or, well, there won’t be.” You shook your head. “Not after this all goes through.” Finally deciding that you didn’t want to stand next to Logan without touching him any longer, you reached out, fingers tentatively making contact with his. “I wanted to tell you, Logan, but I didn’t think that it was right to do it over the phone.” He looked down at your joined hands and you watched as his brow furrowed.

“So you could… end up on the east coast.” He raised his gaze and you were surprised to see sadness in his eyes. “You could end up in Florida, or in Canada, or in... “ Logan trailed off. “What about California?” Sucking in a breath, your fingers involuntarily tightened against his. “What about the west coast?”

“I… Logan, I haven’t... “ You shook your head back and forth. “I haven’t even looked yet, it’s just an idea, there’s… it’s going to be at least ten months, but I mean, that’s possible, too.” You shrugged. “There are jobs out here, even. Who knows where I’ll end up.” Logan bit his lower lip, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner, but I wanted to be sure, and now everyone knows, now it won’t be a shock, now…”

“You said earlier that we both knew what this was.” He was looking back out the window, eyes focused on the treeline. “But I don’t.” Glancing up, you saw him shaking his head back and forth, lower lip sucked back into his mouth. “I don’t know what this is at all.” What? “When I came out here last December, I never thought…” Logan sighed. “Can we… do you have anything to drink?” Of course. You nodded, pulling your hand away from Logan and turning to walk into the kitchen.

You quickly made two drinks, ice cubes and whiskey and a splash of ginger ale, carrying them back over to the couch, where Logan had settled. You sat too, sipping from your glass before setting it down on the table and clasping your hands together. “Logan, you have…” You closed your eyes, willing yourself to continue. “You have your life in Los Angeles, you have your companies, and you have… the things you need.” It sounded foolish coming out of your mouth, but you continued. “I’m forever grateful to you for what you’re doing for this place, what you’ve enabled us to do for the time leading up to today.” He took a drink of his own, lips closing around the rim of the glass as he looked straight ahead. “But you don’t owe me an explanation, Logan. You don’t have to sit here and tell me what you think I want to hear, or tell me that you want to be sober for a solid year before you think about -”

“It’s not for me.” He finally spoke, head moving back and forth, fingers tightening around the base of his glass. “I need to prove to you that I can do it.” To me? “When I was using, it was always because I wanted to feel something that wasn’t pain, that wasn’t … shame, that wasn’t disappointment. And even though it didn’t work - yeah, I’d feel good for a few minutes, and then just be numb for hours, it took me gettin’ sober to realize that no matter how shitty it was, feeling anything real was better than that. Being in pain was better than that.” Oh, Logan. “When I landed here, I thought you were just gonna be another shitty part of my trip. I wanted to be here, but I didn’t want to be here, right? Why should I have had to leave Los Angeles while they all get to stay? And I took it out on you. I was a dick...but you stood up for yourself, and you put me in my place.”

“Logan, I -” Though you remembered every second of your first interaction with him, you didn’t think that he would. “It -”

“And then you were nice to me, you turned the seat on and let me sleep, and made sure I had what I needed.” He finally looked at you. “I had a dream about you that first night.” I didn’t know that. “I dreamed that you and I were walking on the beach, that we were joking together, that we were friends.” Logan paused. “And in that dream? I was myself. I was healthy and I was happy and all of the bullshit was behind me.” He shook his head. “I woke up and I saw myself in the mirror, and it wasn’t me, it wasn’t the guy from the dream. So how could I ever have that with someone? With you? And I could have fucked it all up by agreeing to go out with Emma, but I still did it, and then … “ He looked down, thumb still rubbing over the outside of his glass. “But I didn’t ruin it. Somehow..” He looked back at you and you saw that his eyes were glistening, his expression uncertain. “No one’s ever done anything like that mountain for me, no one’s ever wanted to show me something like that for the reasons you did.” Logan leaned forward, setting his glass down next to yours. “You weren’t tryin’ to impress me. But everything happened so fast - Christmas and New Year’s, and I didn’t know what to think.”

“It did, Logan.” You’d spent the night in Logan’s cabin with him on Christmas Eve, staying the following night, too, and he’d come to your house during the week between Christmas and New Year’s, soaking the sheets of your bed with his scent night after night until you’d ended things how you started them - in the Caboose, wrapped in Logan’s arms the night before you drove him back to the Jackson Hole airport. “But -”

“But I know what to think now.” He scooted closer to you, raising the hand that the glass had been in and touching your cheek, his cold fingertips moving slowly over the skin beneath them. “I knew when you came to California, I knew when we went to Lincoln’s, I knew when I felt absolutely fucking empty again when you left.” Your heart was pounding, eyes wide. “I showed up here with fresh track marks on my arm, treated you like shit, get pulled into a publicity stunt with your -” You moved, cutting him off with a kiss, your hand rising again to touch his hair, running your fingers through it until they were resting at the nape of his neck. “I don’t deserve you.” Logan whispered the words when you finally pulled back from him, the hand that had been on your face gripping your neck. “I didn’t then and I’m not sure I do now, but I fucking want you.”

You felt your entire body react, a shiver moving through you at the same time your heart stopped - the room totally silent. Your hand twitched, and you heard Logan draw in a shuddering breath. “But it’s too -”

“I’ve never made it a full year clean before. I was close, but...” He kissed you this time, lips pressing against yours for long moments, his other hand rising up to push your hair away from your face, fingers barely glancing over your skin. “If I can do a year, I can do anything. I wanted to prove that to myself before…” He took and then let out another breath. “Before I tried to prove to you that I wanted more.”

“Oh, Logan.” You closed your eyes, mind racing .He wants more? It’s not just because I’m here? It’s not because… but we can’t, he owns… “How? You’re there and I’m -”

“That’s why I’m saying this now.” He licked his lips, “I thought you were… You were going to be here, and it meant that... “ Logan sat up, rolling his shoulders. “I could get on a plane and be here in two hours to see you, I could bring you out to Los Angeles for weekends. Hell, I’m the boss, who’s gonna say anything about it? I’d never try to take you away from this place, never ask you to leave, but now?” He watched you, teeth digging into his lip. “Now, I don’t know where you’ll be or what you’ll be doing.” He smiled, but you could see that it was a nervous one. “I won’t know who you meet, or… who you’re seeing.” Meet? Who I… see? What?

“What?” Your jaw dropped, head shaking back and forth. “Who I meet, Logan?” He closed his eyes and whispered the word ‘yeah’, a quiet chuckle falling from his lips. “Logan, I don’t…” You think I could meet someone after you? You’d tried desperately not to get your hopes up when it came to Logan, but the truth was that even though you’d wanted to kiss him well before it had actually happened, the moment his lips had met yours for the first time, you’d known that keeping things tamped down was an impossibility. This had escalated in your house the following morning, each subsequent encounter with Logan making your heart hammer louder in your chest. By the time you’d ended up in his cabin on Christmas Eve, your plans to remain as impartial as possible with him had been all but abandoned - and then he’d invited you to Los Angeles, treating you the same as he had in Wyoming, and you’d known it: you were falling for Logan Delos, even though you knew it was a bad idea.

“You’re gonna meet someone.” He smiled at you, and though it wasn’t a bright smile, it was an honest one. “You’re gonna go somewhere and meet someone, and it’s going to be right for you in ways that I’m not.” He shook his head. “In all the ways that I couldn’t ever be.” Logan sighed deeply. “But with you here, I knew that I still had a chance, I’d still get to see you, and now…”

“Now?” What is he saying? “Logan, I’m not going anywhere until next year, we have -”

“We have what, more time for me to realize that I want you in my life in a way that doesn’t involve signatures on paper because of Fireside? Already done that. More time for me to sit in Los Angeles and wonder what you’re doing, wonder if the text you sent to me was sent while you were on your way out somewhere? I do that, too. More time for you to look into my past and decide that you want nothing to do with me?” He shook his head, reaching over and picking up the glass again, draining his drink. “We have a lot of things, but the only thing I want is you.” He said it matter of factly, and you were stunned into silence, hand frozen as you reached out to him.

“What?” He’d said that he wanted you, that he cared, that he’d been counting on you being at Fireside in the future, but what exactly did it mean? “Logan, you can’t… we’re not …” We’re not what? The fact that there was no label on what you and Logan were wasn’t the issue - you’d never expected there to be one, especially knowing how he lived his life. Even sober, Logan got around - dated people, was seen with them, and then shortly after, would be seen with someone else. It was a cycle with him, and there had even been times between January and July when he’d been photographed with a woman in California. It hurt, seeing him with his arm around someone else’s waist, smiling at her at a gala, her perfectly rounded lips and smoky eyes mere inches from him. But that’s what you got yourself into when you got into bed with him. “You’ve got someone in Los Angeles, Logan. I’ve seen the pictures, I’ve seen …”

“So.” He raised an eyebrow, leaning toward you. “So you’ve seen me with Elena.” Elena. You winced as he used her name. “What do you think of her, hmm?” You opened your mouth and then closed it, unsure of what to say.

“She’s… she’s pretty, Logan. She looks like she makes you happy.” It was your turn to chew on your lip, swallowing hard. “You two look good together.” Why are you saying this?

“She’s a Host.” He stared into your eyes as he spoke, no change in his tone. “We’ve got a few of ‘em that work at Delos in California… we aren’t supposed to, but who the fuck is going to know?” He licked his lips. “You can’t tell the difference, and that’s what they’re made to do, to be with us when we want them, to be the perfect imitation of us.” A Host? “It’s easier for me that way, especially since I can’t have… I just take her, and because she doesn’t have a history, no one can find it.” That’s brilliant.

“But why, Logan? You could have anyone, be with anyone, why a Host? Why …” Why bother?

“It’s better than going out alone.” He shifted closer, reaching out to take your hand in his, fingers slowly sliding between yours before curling around your palm. “I don’t have to pretend to be interested in… I’d rather you… I want to take you with me.” He was speaking quietly but clearly, eyes on your joined hands. “Even if you don’t want to be with me, I still…Fuck.” He ducked his head. “Do I need to say it again?” He looked back up, saying your name, a note of desperation in his voice. “I can do a year, I’m so close, I just… I don’t want to wait to tell you this until it’s too late.” He swore again, squeezing your hand even more tightly. “This time here with you didn’t mean nothing to me, it wasn’t just a distraction.” You squeezed your eyes shut for a few seconds before reopening them, staring at the man next to you, still in his suit and jacket.

“Logan.” What are you saying? “Logan, I... “ You reached out with your other hand, touching his knee. “I don’t want people to think that I’m… that I … that we… that you…” Unsure of how to say what you were thinking, you stopped, frowning. “I don’t care about you buying this place, Logan. I don’t care about who you are or what you do, I ... “ Go for it. You’ve got nothing to lose, except him. “I think about you constantly, Logan. I wonder what you’re doing and who you’re with and if you’re … if you miss me, or …” You shook your head. “I thought I’d get you out of my system at Christmas, that if we did what we did, it would make me feel better.”

“Did it?” He didn’t sound satisfied or cocky, just genuinely interested in your answer.

“No.” You exhaled. “It made me feel better, yeah, but not like I’d hoped.” His free hand was atop the one on your knee, thumb circling slowly on the back of your hand. “It made me want you even more, Logan, which I’m sure isn’t a surprise to you, but I didn’t want to be like everyone else, I didn’t want to…” He said your name again, stopping your rambling with a shake of his head. “What?” His eyebrow went up again, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth very briefly. “And then when I came to California, and it all happened again? When we stayed in your bed for two days after going to Lake Isabella?” You shook your head. “I was gone, Logan. All I thought about was you, and why it couldn’t work, why it shouldn’t work.”

“What if it does?” He leaned in, pressing his lips to your cheek. “What if it does work?” He kissed you again, lingering, mouth moving closer to yours. “I’m not your boss, I’m not... “ Hls lips touched yours, his breath warm. “What if you ended up in California with me after you left Wyoming?” What? “We’ve got lots of jobs out there, you’d find somethin’.” You were stunned, staring at Logan. “As much as I don’t want you to go anywhere else, you not bein’ here at Fireside anymore is… fuck, please say something.” Logan leaned back ,sitting up straight. “I’ve never had to be this honest with a woman before, and you’re not…” He trailed off as you stood, stepping away from the couch. I need a minute.

The sun was still bright in the sky - it wasn’t even 7pm, and as you looked out the window and into your back yard, you took a deep breath. He wants me. He’s asking me to come to California. Does he mean it? “I don’t want an empty promise, Logan.” You turned back toward him, crossing your arms over chest. “I… can’t do that. I’m not going to listen to the words you’re saying and just hope that I don’t get burned.” You stepped closer to him again, dropping down to sit on your coffee table. “Logan, you’re doing amazing with your recovery. I’ve told you this so many times, You’re right there, in the middle of all that temptation, and you’ve … you ignore it.” He nodded, eyes focused on yours. “You’ve never once lied to me. You’ve never misled me, aside from not telling me why you were really here at first.” Another nod, and you caught the change in expression, the subtle alteration of his breathing. “How many times have women and men told you that they love you, Logan?”

He swallowed, hanging his head for a moment before looking back at you. “A lot.” He scoffed. “A whole lot.” You’d be been careful to never even hint at those words, never even uttering anything close to ‘I love it when you…’ or ‘I love that…’ because you couldn’t risk it. “But they don’t mean it.”

“I can’t give you that, Logan. I can’t… be with you like that unless… I tried so hard to...” You felt the tears begin to stream down your face. “I found out that we were going to lose the resort and that someone wanted to buy it in the same weekend, I met you and learned that you could give this place a future in the same week, You opened up to me in only a few days for no other reason than the fact that I was here and you had no other option…” He opened his mouth to speak but you stopped him with two fingers pressed to his lips and a shake of your head. “Or so I thought.” You dropped your fingers slowly, Logan’s lips puckering slightly as he kissed them. “I got to know you, Logan. Here and over the phone and in California. You don’t do anything on accident.” He nodded, the look of hope growing in his eyes. “I let myself care. And I thought you did too.” He whispered the words ‘I did’ and it was your turn to nod. “I want to be with you, Logan. I’ve wanted it for months, but I couldn’t just let myself go, I couldn’t … expect that from you, because of what you’re used to and what you’ve…” He closed his eyes, gritting his teeth. “But I want that. I want you, Logan Delos. And if it’s long distance -”

“Come to California. Come with me.” He leaned in, his hands on your face, the ends of his fingers digging into the back of your head. “That’s what I want. You. With me, there. You don’t even have to work, I don’t care, I just…” He swore, his breath hot against your skin. “I know you’ll be here until Fireside officially closes, but…” But? “But that gives us time to get to know each other, to get to my year, to…” He took a deep breath. “For you to realize that I don’t need anything else if I’ve got you.” Really? “This isn’t hard, just say yes.” He was pleading with you, eyes focused - dark and determined. “Please.”

Your life played out in your mind over the span of only a few moments - losing your parents, moving in with Elle and Brandon, learning the ropes at Fireside, getting to know the guests and the town and the demands of ownership. You thought of meeting Logan - coatless in the middle of the winter in the airport, smug look on his face and an attitude to match. And yet… You thought about getting to know him, the easy jokes, the way the smallest things still impressed him in a genuine manner. Thought of his lips on yours for the first time, the way his hands felt on your skin, the way a minute with him felt like a lifetime in the best way possible. “Yes.” You nodded. “OK, Logan. Yes. I can find a job out there, and -” He stopped you, finally kissing you on the mouth, tongue slipping past your lips as he pulled you back onto his lap. You felt moisture on your face and thought for long moments that it was from your own tears, but when the two of you separated and you finally opened your eyes, you saw that he was crying, too. “Oh, Logan.”

“It’s fine.” He smiled, cheeks full and round, the creases in the corners of his eyes defined. “I’m fine.” He kissed you again, but this wasn’t in shock - it was pure happiness, Logan barely able to keep the grin off of his face as his lips met yours. “You’re gonna love California, and the beach, and…” He kept talking, but you didn’t hear all of his words, focused only on the relief you felt as his arms encircled your body, the way his muscles felt beneath your palms. No, Logan. Not California. I’m gonna love you.

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