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spenglernot · 1 year ago

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STORIES TELLING: NED LOWE AND THE DEATH OF POOR REPRESENTATION IN OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH

In history, Ned Lowe was one of the most sadistic and violent pirates in the early 18th century, so he’s an obvious choice for a villain for season 2, episode 6 – Calypso’s Birthday. What is interesting is what the OFMD writers chose to do with him.

Lowe announces himself to the crew of the Revenge with great fanfare (cannon ball attack) and gets right to the point.

Ed is thoroughly unimpressed.

Cut to Ed and Stede tied up while Ned attempts to set the mood so he can monologue about why he wants to kill Ed.

Ed knows what’s coming. He is going to suffer but he still can’t be arsed to meet Ned with anything but vaguely bored dismissiveness (and Stede is happy to play along).

Up on the deck, Ned prepares the crew for his big, dramatic moment of symphonic torture.

Note that the Revenge crew is tied down, braced by vices and generally unable to protect themselves from imminent torture and possible death, but their spirits are up. They don’t seem terribly fussed.

Then Stede uses his people positive management style to happily orchestrate a worker uprising in Ned’s crew.

Ned’s crew responds instantly; severing their allegiance to Lowe and telling him off.

The crew sails away and talks profit sharing while Ned dully threatens to hunt them down.

Ned is now a prisoner of the Revenge crew and seems entirely disinterested in his own survival.

And Ned sinks to the depths, without struggling at all.

There is a lot going on in this episode: pay and labor equity direct action, gay love engagement bliss, kink humor, Stede being a hero and saving his crew by playing to his strengths, then having to decide whether to kill in cold blood and feel the consequences of that choice. Ed having one more reason to be done with piracy (while being so impressed with and fond of Stede), and then watching his man make a fraught choice and having to deal with the fallout from that. (And, damn, I haven’t even mentioned the passionate sex bit.) Anyway, back to the point.

Now for the the meta part

The Ned Lowe sequences are perfectly in keeping with OFMD’s signature blend of madcap violence, humor, and big emotional gut punches. But something about Ned Lowe just strikes me as off for this show.

Ned is seriously threatening the crews’ lives, so why don’t they take him seriously?

Why does Ned have such a boring, throwaway backstory?

Why is Ned so nonchalant about his own death; like it’s a foregone conclusion?

Why does Ned have a silver violin and silver spurs on his slip-on dress shoes?

Why is Ned sartorially monochromatic?

And then I realized who Ned reminds me of.

This guy,

Earnst Stavro Blofeld in the James Bond film Diamonds are Forever (1971)

And this guy,

Scar in Disney's The Lion King (1994).

And this guy,

Xerxes, 300 (2006).

And it sure seems like Ned Lowe isn’t just an episodic villain. He is an archetype of the one-dimensional, stereotypical queer-coded villain that has been endemic in film and television throughout history. The OFMD writers have a lot to say about what to do with this kind of character:

Don’t respect him.

Feel free to openly mock him.

Don’t let him take your joy, even though he will hurt you.

He won’t disappear on his own. You have to throw something at him (take action) to make him go away.

Once he’s in the water, he’s content to drown. He’s not into what he’s doing any more than you are.

Oh and, just to be clear,

The LGBTQIA+ community has a very long history of turning shit media into better stories. So, hey, big media, prepare to have your crap characters wrecked (improved).

Now, back to our transformative pirate show with rich, complex queer characters and a multi-layered plot that surprises me every week and makes me feel big feelings - most of all, joy.

Final thought: I do wonder if Ned Lowe is monochromatically silver as a tribute to/poke at, Hollywood and the silver screen.

This meta was written before OFMD season 2 has fully aired. No idea what’s going to happen in the finale (and I’ve generally fled social media to avoid spoilers). I’ll be back, looking at everyone’s fascinating posts after episode 8 airs.

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qksxzo · 2 months ago

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Levi on a blind date pls 🙏🏻

i had tew much fun writing this. unfortunately, i do think there will be a part two… but that’s up for you to decide.

so embarrassing / levi x reader

wc: 3.4k

levi was tired.

“oh come on levi, i really think you’ll like yn!” hanji exclaims.

“i’m not going on a shitty blind date just because you think i’ll like your friend,” he mutters, taking a sip of his tea while sending a glare her way.

“you don’t know it’s going to be shitty,” the brunette says, trying to be convincing in such a way that she thinks just might work, “plus, i’ll even pay for your dinner!”

“why are you talking to me like you’re trying to meet a quota?” he raises a brow before dismissing her, “it’s not happening.”

hanji whines dejectedly, her body deflating in such a way that makes levi want to scoff. instead, he opts to take another sip of his tea.

“okay… well if me not paying for your meal isn’t enough for you to say yes, how about we make a deal?”

levi wants so badly for her to just leave him the hell alone, but he can’t help that his curiosity is piqued with how hard she’s trying to sell this.

“i’m listening.”

“yay!” she yells before murmuring, “except… i didn’t really think this through.”

“you want to make a shitty deal but you don’t even know what it is,” levi inquires, “you’re beyond saving.”

“ouch! anyways though, it was going to be something along the lines of if it goes terribly then i am forever in your debt and also you get one favor from me redeemable at anytime no matter how inconvenient for me. as for the second…”

“let me guess, it goes well and you get bragging rights or… whatever your deranged and deluded mind comes up with.”

“precisely! you’re so smart, levi!”

“spare me,” he mutters, “but fine, not that i need any favors from you. don’t go thinking it’s going to be a whole thing.”

at least he’ll get a free meal and maybe a good conversation. not that he was the best at conversations anyways.

“oh wonderful! i set you up a reservation tonight at six! it’s fancy, so wear something classy.”

his eye twitches with a vengeance because of course she already made a reservation.

unbelievable.

“i’m going to beat your ass when this is over.”

“oh, i don’t know about that one, yn’s hot.” hanji grins, wiggling her eyebrows.

levi rolls his eyes, “eat shit.”

dressed in a black suit with a black silk undershirt, levi waits for you outside of the restaurant, an upper class italian fusion place that had him wondering how the hell his idiot friend could afford such an extravagant restaurant.

he leaned against the wall beside him, checking his phone to see the time was 5:55pm. hanji had insisted on him getting there early and he has no doubts she hounded you as well with all her talk of, “places like this don’t mess around! both people have to be there and on TIME!”

he hears heels coming towards him, but figures it’s just another patron walking inside before he sees two black heels stop in front of him, “excuse me, are you levi?”

he freezes slightly before looking up from his phone to drag his eyes up your figure, meeting your gaze in a way that has him feeling significantly warmer.

damn. that’s all he thinks before he recovers the best he can, “yeah. you yn?”

your lips twitch. “that’s me. i would say i’m glad not to be catfished, but it’s not like i saw a picture of you beforehand.”

he can’t help the slight chuckle that arises. “well, glad we’re on the same boat there.”

you let out a quiet laugh before you pull your phone out, and he eyes your manicured nails as you check the time, placing your nail just underneath the numbers that read 5:58pm, “good thing we were on the same boat about timing as well. should we head in?”

“yeah, we should.” he pushes off from the wall before walking with you and opening the door. “after you.”

the way you hold your gaze on him as you thank him before entering is not lost on levi, and he quickly unbuttons the top of his shirt to relieve the tight feeling in his throat.

hanji was full of shit when she said you were hot. you were absolutely breathtaking.

“i’ll just do a paloma, please,” you say to the waitress, “and a water as well, no ice.”

“of course, miss,” the blonde haired woman who had introduced herself as annie nodded, turning her head to look at the male across from you, “and for you, sir?”

“an old fashioned, please. neat.”

“perfect. i’ll get your drinks in right away then.”

“i don’t think i’ve met someone who drinks a neat old fashioned.” you claimed, resting your chin in your palm.

“i’ve always preferred my drinks that way, i hate watered down alcohol,” he admits. “do you usually get fruitier drinks?”

you shrug, “honestly, i take a gamble everytime, i don’t like sticking to one thing.”

he raises a brow, “that’s a bold move when it comes to alcohol.”

you laugh, “i don’t drink often so i guess it’s my way of trying everything,” you pause slightly with a slight smile, “i actually played it safe today. paloma’s are one of my favorites.”

he tries so hard not to stare, but he doesn’t want to seem like he’s avoiding your gaze. he’s never been intimidated like this, people don’t usually make him this uneasy… but there’s immediately something about you that makes him nervous. then, as if all your talk of drinks spoke them into existence, annie comes back with your drinks at a meticulous speed.

you both thank her, after which she asks if you would like to start your meal with an appetizer, to which you both hastily decide on the oysters and grilled octopus. she takes her leave once again and you take a sip of your drink, making a pleased sound through your closed lips.

“so, how did four-eyes convince you to show up?” he can’t help it, he’s curious- even more curious on how hanji is friends with someone like you.

“well, i was fully intending to deny her until the end of time, but… i don’t know, maybe i’d call it an instinct,” you answer, “though, the free food was a pretty big plus for me. you?”

he can’t help but feel at a loss, and he pauses for a moment before willing himself to speak, careful with how he chooses his next words (something that he usually never cares about), “yeah, an instinct is what i’d call it too.”

he doesn’t miss the way your eyes light up, and this is the first time he’s seen you give him a full smile. jesus, how the fuck did hanji find you?

“so, levi,” you lean back with your arms folded, “cats or dogs.”

he blinks. “can’t say i’m privy to either.”

you nod, “too much for you?”

“too filthy,” he answers, “in terms of cleanliness, i would prefer a cat, though.”

the corner of your mouth twitches up, and he feels like he’s playing the price is right or some shit like that with the way he wants to impress you.

he thinks you’re pleased with his answer as you respond, “i prefer cats too. dogs have a smell, it makes me feel gritty. i’m assuming you’re big on cleanliness then?”

he nods, “i don't tolerant dirty surroundings.”

“ah.” you say before covering your mouth with a discreet giggle, and he can’t help the frown that settles on his face.

“something funny?”

“not at all,” you waved your arms in an x-like motion while shaking your head. “it’s just that’s the only thing hanji told me about you.”

he scoffs, leaning back in his seat to fold his arms, “of course she did. she’s the messiest pig i know.”

he should really tone down the abrasiveness, he thinks, but you don’t seem to mind as you let out a laugh. “she does seem to leave a tornado behind her everywhere she goes.”

levi chuckles, and you ask him another question. “now i’m curious about what she’s told you about me.”

oh.

well.

“she said you’re nice.” he pauses, looking at the table before meeting your eyes again. “and that you’re hot.”

you cover your face with your hand, trying to hide the blush of embarrassment that paints itself that brushes across your cheeks. “ah, that sounds like her.”

he swallows, maybe he shouldn’t have said that… whatever, it’s not like he really said anything wrong. before he can think too much more, annie approaches with your appetizers, placing them on the small table with a practiced ease. “have you had a chance to decide on your main courses?”

levi decides on the smoked salmon, not recognizing half of the things that were on the menu, while you order the mezzelune. annie tells you both the main courses will be brought out upon the finishing of your appetizers, to which you both nod in agreement.

he notices you don’t say anything after annie leaves. “are you embarrassed?”

you shrug, seemingly more shy now, yet still exuding the confidence you’ve shown as you cut off a piece of octopus. “well, i think she could’ve at least told you something about me personally.”

“well, now’s your chance.”

“hmm…” you place your hands in your lap, looking up in thought, trying to think of something that would make you seem cool in front of possibly the hottest guy you’ve ever been on a date with, “i dj sometimes.”

levi’s eyebrows raise. “like at kids birthday parties?”

“clubs,” you grin, “you know heavenly?”

“i’ve heard of it,” taking a bite of the octopus on his plate, he thinks he puts two and two together when he asks you, “is that where you met hanji?”

you look at him surprised. “yes, actually. how’d you know?”

“levi, i just met the coolest bitch i’ve ever met like, ever,” hanji slurs over the phone, “you need to come to heavenly with meeeeeee.”

“levi, this is erwin. hanji just spilled her drink all over the dj’s setup. please come pick us up.”

“just a hunch,” he says. “so, you don’t drink a lot, but you play at clubs?”

you giggle, reaching over to grab an oyster just as he does, your hands barely grazing, “that seems to be the case… you should stop by the next time i decide to play.”

“you sure you won’t get nervous?” he asks this mainly to tease you, but his voice hides any sort of flirtation.

you seem to catch on, though.

“i don’t get nervous,” you bluff, eyes locking onto his before you look down at the oyster sitting on your plate, “it’s been a long time since i’ve had these… eat one with me?”

he nods, picking his up, and the two of you lean your heads back to let the oyster slide down your throats.

the rest of the night is one for the books for levi, seeing as, when the food comes out, you both have to remember to eat in the midst of your conversation. you don’t seem to mind his sarcastic humor. in fact, it seems you adopt that humor too as you respond to him. he doesn’t think he’s had a date go this smoothly, let alone a blind one (in which case, this is his first blind date but you get the idea, right?). it’s rare for levi to go out like this, especially with someone as radiant as you. he truly thinks you’re the most beautiful person he’s laid eyes on. not only that, but your intellect, your wit, the way you carry yourself…

you’re completely his type.

at this point, long after the both of you finish your meals, he has you giggling, albeit a little bit drunkly.

“this is going to be so embarrassing if you’re not even slightly drunk right now.” you say, leaning your cheek into your palm, face hot as you look at the piercing man in front of you.

he’s not, but he assures you the alcohol is doing it’s job- and he’s not completely lying. he does notice that his body feels significantly… warmer. “yeah, i’m feeling it too right now.”

you smile, “you’re lying, but it’s ok, i’ll let it slide.”

“oh yeah? how generous of you.” he chuckles dryly, hooking his finger around his collar to let his neck breathe.

“i know, right,” you say before shifting your gaze, “sorry for being such a lightweight.”

“don’t apologize,” he says, tentatively placing a warm hand on top of yours, “i’m still enjoying myself.”

he can’t tell if it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s the lighting, but your face reddens tenfold at his comment as you quickly flit your eyes from where his hand rests on yours and back up to his eyes. “i’m glad i’m not the only one.”

god, if you keep looking at me like that i don’t know what i’ll do, he thinks before leaning forward in his chair, “you wanna get out of here?”

Break here

after the two of you get the bill situated thanks to hanji’s generosity (and possibly a hint of desperation?), he offers to walk you home after you tell him you live only a few blocks away. you shake your head and tell him he really doesn’t have to but he cuts you off with a swoonworthy, “i want to.”

he didn’t want to seem like a creep offering, but he would never be able to forgive himself if he just let you walk away. you seemed to be more sober now- not that you had been all that drunk in the first place, but the flush on your face seemed to erase itself the more you walked with him. the two of you walk in a comfortable silence, the brisk fall air surrounding you both. like clockwork, you start to shiver, crossing your hands to rub your elbows, “bad day to wear something sleeveless.”

it’s seriously like the universe was setting him up, and he immediately takes off the blazer of his suit to wrap around you, “it’s not the best but it should keep you warmer than that.”

you blush, oh my god it smells like him… get a grip, right now. “thank you, levi.”

“don’t mention it.” he waves you off, placing his hands into his pockets as he walks next to you, “your feet must be freezing.”

you chuckle, looking down at the cold leather of your heels, “just a little bit. lucky for me, we’re almost there.”

he nods, noticing the way his heart twinges at the thought of having to say goodbye to you so early. though, that twinge is quickly overshadowed when he feels your pinky reach from underneath his jacket to touch his wrist in a ghostlike manner, like you were testing the waters to see if he’d bite.

his hand slowly unsheathes from his pocket to meet your cold one, his thumb rubbing the back of your hand at a futile attempt to bring some life back to it, “holding my hand already?”

“you don’t seem to mind,” you tease, “if it helps you feel better, it’s just a couple places down.”

“tch, you’re acting as if i would hold your hand out of pity.”

you laugh, “well, i’m glad you’re not then!”

he continues to hold your hand as you lead him up the steps, not letting go even as you turn around. he eyes the building with a raised brow, “so if i start djing do you think i’ll be able to afford something like this?”

you grin, “maybe if you try hard enough you’ll be able to afford multiple.”

he gives you another dry chuckle, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear, “i guess i’ll need to practice then.”

“indeed.” you giggle, welcoming the warmth of his hand as it grazes your face before he drops it to his side, “i had a really good time tonight, levi.”

he doesn’t know why he avoids your gaze at first, but he nods, “i did too, yn.”

is it bad how bad i want to kiss him right now, you shake your head internally, hell no, you’re going to scare him off. what happened to no kissing on the first date? did all that go out the window just because he’s hot-

“well, i should get going,” you say, trying to hide the conflict in your voice, “let’s do this again?”

he nods, “i’d like that.”

the tension is so thick you could cut it with a knife, and he so badly wants to kiss you, especially with the way your eyes flick down to look at his lips before you look back at him and smile.

“well, i guess i’ll see you then.”

he almost pouts when you remove his jacket from your shoulders, handing it to him with the same small smile you’ve had. he takes it with one hand resting it on his side as you turn around to type your code in.

fuck it.

“hey.”

you turn around quizzically, “yeah-”

suddenly, you’re gently pressed against your door, a strong hand around your waist and warm minty breath tickling your face, his cobalt eyes staring fiercely into yours. you swallow so thickly you make a gulping sound, your mouth dry at how close his face is to yours. he looks at you, then to your lips, then back up- a pattern the both of you seemed to have followed multiple times throughout the night.

his voice is low, and it does something you can’t explain to your whole body as he trails off, “can i…”

“please.”

his lips are on yours within seconds, your mouths molding together perfectly as he presses you into the door more, the arm around your waist pulls you closer before he moves his hand to run down the back of your thigh to lift it over his hip. you slide your hands up his abdomen, feeling the tightness of his torso before you rest them on his chest.

of course he has to be sculpted by fucking zeus himself, you sigh into his mouth.

you’re so weak.

it’s not long before his tongue makes its way into your mouth, exploring it as if he was on a mission. you can’t help the small moan that emits from you as your tongue battles with his. he wins of course, and you feel a wave of sadness wash over you as he gently pulls away, his hand going from your thigh to your hip, “you should get inside, your ass is freezing.”

“it does feel pretty chilly down there.” you can’t help but to laugh out loud, “thanks for looking out.”

“don’t mention it.”

“text me when you get home?”

“i’ll consider it.”

you make a small hmph sound, “alright. i look forward to your text telling me how brave you were for making it home safely.”

“you’re an ass.” he scoffs, but his eyes have a fond look to them as he gives your hip a squeeze, “i’ll talk to you later.”

you smile, giving him a peck on his cheek before pulling away, “good night, levi.”

“good night, yn.”

not long after your nightly routine, you get a text. laying in your bed, you unlock your phone to see a multitude of notifications from hanji that you decide to ignore for now. instead, you smile giddily, laying on your back to open the message from your stoic yet charming date.

levi: home safe. am i brave now?

you laugh, sending him a quick response before covering your face with your pillow.

meanwhile, in the comfort of his own bed, levi reads your response with the faintest hint of a smile. he lays down on his back, rubbing his tired eyes when a fear-filled thought enters his mind.

he was never going to hear the end of it from that freak. he sighs, staring at his ceiling as he thinks maybe it would be okay so long as you kept your interest in him. maybe the two of you really had a shot beyond just being a blind date to each other. he lets out another breath before closing his eyes.

i can’t believe that shithead was right.

#when i say “aot men” levi is indeed the correct answer 👹#dj yn brought to you by charli xcx and parris goebel ur welcome.#everyone say thx anon and thx kae for being so brilliant and awesome #i guess we should also thank lizbotw for editing this and making me change the original oyster scene 😔#and for yelling at me for my incessant comma usage #thank you liz!#attack on titan imagines #attack on titan x reader #aot x you #levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman #captain levi #levi aot #shingeki no kyoujin levi #snk levi #snk x reader #aot x reader #attack on titan

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