#thank you ever so much buddy!

[vynnyal]

Turns out Sunlit Trail isn't quite done just yet, so after all that they just send you to a dead end 😂

[arabella-s-arts]

I watched the newest 9-1-1 episode this morning. And I am really sad about it.

I honestly didn't see this coming. Tommy was just so different from a lot of Buck's previous love interests. And not just because he is a guy. But for lots of reasons. For one, he was a preexisting character that wasn't just introduced as Buck's love interest. When he was in a relationship with Buck, it was so healthy. He was always there when Buck needed him, and was so thoughtful. Tommy has seen Buck at his worst and didn't run away. He's so understanding, and he is also a firefighter, which means that he gets the job, which is helpful since that was a point of contention for Buck and a couple of his exes. And Buck was clearly so at ease with Tommy. Also, Tommy was already close, or became close with other members of the 118. He and Chim are already friends, and he became quick friends with Eddie, and got along with Christopher. He was just so intertwined with the main cast, it felt unnatural for that to be taken away.

It also just felt like they were setting a lot of things up to happen. I thought we were going to learn more about Tommy's dad. It also seemed like they were setting up for Tommy to become part of the main group: he expressed his jelousy about the 118 becoming a family and him not being in it, there was also that scene with the group chat and it felt like Tommy was later going to be added to it. So it sucks that that's never going to happen now. He wanted a family, and now we might never see him again. Also, what was the point of Tommy being the only one who calls Buck "Evan," it felt important, but now he's gone, so it doesn't feel like it mattered at all anymore. And Tommy mentioned how nice Buck's place is, so it felt like he was going to move in later (though, can't blame him for saying no, dude's got a car lift, and a muay thai practice area).

The whole episode, Tommy felt kind of off, compared to how he acted the episode before. Just slightly out of character at times. Like, I feel like the way he talked about Abby didn't seem entirely in character. And him getting Buck basketball tickets, even though Buck doesn't like basketball. Tommy was presented as a good listener, and Buck talks a lot, it would have come up at some point that Buck doesn't actually like basketball. And that breakup felt incredibly annoying to me. Because the reasoning was basically since Tommy is Buck's first boyfriend, he's unlikely to be his last. But it's not like Buck has never been in serious relationships before, and I understand being with a guy for the first time might be treated slightly different because it's new and exciting, but I don't think that makes the relationship any less valid. And comparing it with literally the episode before, it seemed to come so out of left field. I'd understand it if this was a plotline where Tommy was scared of getting his heart broken, but later realized that he cares too much about Buck to end things prematurely, and he shouldn't let his fear get in the way. But Lou was saying his goodbyes, so I doubt it's that.

Also, the whole breakup felt like it had this undercurrent of biphobia. But I need to rewatch the scene before I can break that down.

For what this scene means to Buck's bisexuality... not much actually. Besides the biphobic vibe I mentioned earlier, it doesn't change the fact that Buck is bi. I know a lot of people are upset about Oliver's comment. And I completely get why, since there's nothing wrong with sleeping around, but Buck's a character who's arc involved him no longer sleeping around, and now that he's bi, he might be doing that again. I totally understand why that is hurtful. For me, I don't really have a problem with his comment, just because I feel like Buck's not going to be looking for another serious relationship right now, since he just got out of one (and he wasn't the one who ended things). So I get him sleeping around. I don't think he needs to sleep around to "find himself" or whatever. I feel like I should mention that I'm not bisexual, I'm aroace, so my opinion on this isn't as important as actual bi people's. Also, I don't know what Oliver's exact comment was, I just heard second hand, so I might come back and edit this section after actually reading the exact phrasing.

Anyway, the whole thing just makes me really sad for Buck. But mainly sad for Tommy, who had grown to be such as interesting character, with a interesting backstory that we will never fully get to know. Sad for Tommy because he wanted a family, and it seemed like he was going to get one, just for it all to be taken away from him.

[greenerteacups]

Hello GT, I absolutely love Lionheart!

I published my first fic and have been dealing with some criticism; it’s not anythjng super hateful, but it’s not anything meant to make me improve either. I’ve been feeling sort of down because of it. My question is: have you ever dealt with hate or criticism before? What is your attitude towards it?

I find your work and answers on here super insightful and inspiring! I hope you have a nice day ❤️

Fuck em. Like, seriously, just fuck em. There's a time and place for writers to take critique and be strict with themselves; it's necessary for any artist to grow. That place is with a chosen group of creatives whose work you admire and whose judgment you trust. A rando on the Internet, while they may in fact be the next Marcel Proust, probably isn't. And I was raised to believe that while it's appropriate and kind to pay compliments to strangers when they're performing — just as you'd smile at a busker on the sidewalk, and or compliment a chalk artist — it's not appropriate to criticize them when what they do isn't to your tastes. They're providing you with their art for free. No one forced you to read it; no one forced you to listen. If you don't like it, it costs $0 to shut the fuck up.

Also — that thing I said about artists taking critique? That assumes that you're doing this out of a desire to improve your writing, which, while noble, is not actually a thing you need to do if you're a hobby writer. I like trying to improve; it makes me feel good. But at the end of the day, I do this for fun. I do this because in my real job, I am ruthless and self-critical and try really fucking hard to do well, and you need parts of your life that Aren't Like that. You need parts of your life where you're not worrying about whether you're Doing It Right. And living without that anxiety of critique is, paradoxically, the only way you'll find the artistic courage to take risks and develop new skills. Everyone is a little bit rough around the edges to begin with. (Not saying you're a beginner — you merely said "publish," and I certainly wrote a lot of things before I started publishing! But every artist is always trying to develop new skills and techniques; in the grand scope of things, we're all beginners.) Giving someone blunt critique when they're in the beginning phases of their journey as an artist is about as helpful as screaming at your six-year-old kid because he can't swim the butterfly.

And the thing is, these people will bluster and say "well, I'm just being honest, I'm just trying to be helpful," but like: mmmmmmno, you're not! You're not. And it's disingenuous to say so. Because if you were actually trying to be helpful, you would introduce yourself, offer your skills as an editor/beta reader, and start building the relationship of trust that grounds any meaningful co-creative partnership. People do not just accept random critique that comes flying at them from the blue nowhere. And issuing it in that form is the best way to make them hostile, defensive, and unreceptive to it. Delivering harsh feedback without a context of care and support is almost sure to fail as a method of actually changing behavior, and either (1) you know that, and are doing it anyway — presumably because you want people to know how Terribly Clever and Better At Writing you are, or (2) you sincerely have never thought about the effect that context and word choice have on how other people receive your meaning.

Which tells me you are the last fucking person on the planet I want writing advice from.

[zsbrainrot]

Maybe it sounds silly, but Buddy Daddies was honestly one of the highlights of 2023 for me. Not only did I meet some truly wonderful people within the fandom, but for the first time in years I actually felt motivated to write and draw again.

Thank you to everyone who worked so hard to bring this family to life. Hopefully we get to see more of them in the years to come, but whether or not we ever get more official content, this beautiful little family will always live rent free in my heart.

Happy New Year Everyone!! ❤️💙🩷

Version without text just for funsies

[catgirlreisuwa]

[moeblob]

Oh that's a dwagon! (they're so cute!)

Siblings that hoot and holler together, stay together. (thank you so much!! I love these silly lil kids)

[tricoufamily]

update tinder guy superliked me, asked me on a date, spent the entire thing belittling and making fun of me and seeming vaguely angry at me. then asked me for a second date

[magmaticparatdise]

Mira and her buddy Fate :DD

[sweet-star-cookie]

if you were to drop cassie + the zodiacs into a human/modern AU (an AU where all the zodiacs and constellations were humanized and there is no magic in the universe), what jobs do you think they would do? what would their new human names be? would their dynamics change as a result of the lack of magic and the trauma that comes along with it? and what do you think flicker's normal animal equivalent would be?

(definitely not related to a christmas special i'm cooking up nooope no frenzied AU writing here)

Oooooooh? 👀 Whatever you've got cooking, I'm very excited :D You know it's funny, now that I think about it I've done a lot more speculating about humanization/AU stuff for this set of characters than even I remembered initially, haha! The upside is that means I actually have some stuff to give you :D Of course I don't consider any of this to be "canon" even in an AU sense, as the ideas here are pretty spur-of-the-moment overall and I would need to develop them more if I were to ever make an actual AU story myself. Some of these I've never thought about prior to now, so it is by no means complete in terms of info, but I hope it helps!

With that in mind, don't feel restricted by what I give you here, if you come up with something different for these characters that you want to write about, go for it! Feel free to play around and have fun ^_^ Alright, on to the (very long) answers!

I'll start with the Flicker question, since that'll have the shortest answer comparatively! When figuring out their size in the main story I have compared them to a small kitten before. Considering they can fit in the palm of Cassie's hand most of the time too, something in the rodent family might be more suitable here. Given their stubby limbs, small paws/feet and round body, a hamster comes to mind for me (though I'm biased because I grew up with pet hamsters, haha).

As for Cassie and the zodiac, it would depend on what setting/context this takes place in to determine how they meet and interact with each other, and what dynamics they'd make or keep from their original counterparts, including what part of the world they/their theoretical ancestors are from. Are they all somehow in Cassie's town, or are they all somewhere else? How Cassie would meet them would obviously be very different too, and depending on their occupations she'd be less likely to meet some than others, but of course you can find ways to bring them together anyway.

Since there are nearly infinite options to answer the question of setting, I'll instead give you some general ideas for their possible occupations and such and you can go from there! Some of the "jobs" the adult zodiacs have on the Astral Plane do translate pretty easily to regular Earth occupations, but again you don't have to stick to those if you don't want to. Same with the names, I only have some that came to mind or that I've had previously so feel free to make some up for yourself!

------ ARIES

Possible Occupation: I could see him as a gym trainer or something, the kind that may yell a lot but that actually works for people who are motivated by that kind of intensity, and he genuinely cares about the health/strength goals of the patrons with great passion as well. Perhaps he's still underestimated for his size/height but is able to prove himself with his strength anyway, and thus everyone at the gym respects him. What's funny is Aries actually used to be half-human in canon! Here's the old concept art from around 2016, if that helps at all:

The only reason I eventually changed him was to balance out the cast a bit more variety wise, as Leo was the only anthropomorphic animal zodiac character at the time. This is the same reason I changed Capricorn to be anthropomorphic as well, though in his case I felt it also strengthened his concept as the "sea goat" a lot more easily that way.

Possible Name: For some reason any variant of Aaron comes to mind, I'm assuming because it matches with the "ar" syllable in Aries (though that may also be me thinking about Aran Ryan, the stereotypical unhinged/angry Irishman character from Punch-Out lol)

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: (If you're including them too) I'd imagine that Perseus would be a rather anxious member at the gym that takes a lot of effort to motivate properly, but Aries sees potential in him and sees it through anyway. Either that or he simply wants to help out with other things around the gym to build up his confidence more. He's young, so maybe it's his very first job or something, and a challenge for Aries to learn how to train someone who doesn't match his own demeanour very much at all.

------ TAURUS

Possible Occupation: I can see her as some kind of animal rescue operator or a park ranger that's focused on areas with protected species. A zookeeper could work well too, she'd definitely be one that would be excited and energetic when giving tours and facts about the animals because she loves them so much.

Possible Name: One that I have in my old "what if" notes is Tori Dellman (I don't remember why lol)

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: Wherever Orion would be in his original character arc could determine their relationship here, like maybe he's still a hunter/poacher that Taurus has to deal with but eventually befriends, or he is a fellow park ranger/animal rescuer/zookeeper.

Coincidentally, at the time of writing this I am finishing up Part 2 of Orion's updated reference sheet that shows his human form prior to his deer transformation, so stay tuned for that soon :D

------ GEMINI & LEO (Putting these two together since they're the children of the zodiac cast and thus wouldn't have set jobs/aspirations like the adults do)

Possible Names: The Gemini twins could theoretically keep their original names (Solana and Luna) but there are a bunch of other names that mean sun/moon that you could use if you want to keep that duality theme but in a subtler way.

Same with Leo, there are a bunch of names that mean "lion" that you could use (though that already includes Leo itself, of course).

Relationship with Zodiac Companions: I feel like this would also be determined by what dynamic they have with their guardians/parental figures (Sagittarius and Cancer) and if they're adopted as their children or not. This would extend to their companions as well, as I consider Leo Minor to be Leo's little brother in canon and that could be the same here. Auriga could be an older sister to the Gemini twins in turn, though I could also see her as a camp counsellor or some other kind of teenage volunteer on a school trip or something.

------ CANCER

Possible Occupation: Her giant claw cannons that can shoot water and her strong build make me think she could work well as a fire fighter, the kind that isn't weighed down by her gear very much and doesn't mind leaping into danger multiple times if necessary, still keeping that ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ kind of attitude when it comes to her own safety.

Possible Name: The only name I have for her in my notes is Maura Kinloch, though this was a relic from a very, very old lore draft where it's implied that her incarnation of her constellation has been around for literal centuries, further implying that she was the only one of the armour clad characters on the Astral Plane who actually lived as a knight during the medieval times on Earth (make of that what you will lmao)

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: This would again depend on how you interpret Hydra/Hydrus and their relationship with her, though you don't necessarily have to humanize every single one of the animal characters either. Considering their constellations are defined as "the water snakes" you could also have them be her pets, either as snakes or some other kind of reptile/amphibian.

------ VIRGO

Possible Occupation: Considering her Lady Justice themeing in canon, she could have a similar job in a courtroom, though which one she has is up to you. A judge or attorney might be most fitting, but she could also be an investigator or detective as well.

Possible Name: Not sure, sorry ^^' Whenever I need to think of AU names I usually either pick a name that has a meaning adjacent to their original concept, or one that phonetically sounds similar/has some of the same syllables as their canon name to tie them together.

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: Given Corvus's status as a former thief/delinquent in canon, you could use that in the AU and whatever job Virgo has could determine what relationship they have. Perhaps Corvus is a part of a case she's working on as a suspect and she needs to prove his guilt/innocence, or he's the classic "help us out now and we'll reduce your sentence" kind of thing, perhaps acting as a sort of double agent.

------ LIBRA

Possible Occupation: I picture her keeping her job as a librarian/archivist, though how high up the "ladder" she is in terms of that occupation is up to you, and whether or not museum experience is included is a possibility as well. If you want to connect her AU part to Virgo's to match canon, she could also be either a fellow attorney/judge, or the stenographer (the person who transcribes what is said in a courtroom). They could always just be friends outside of their respective jobs too, though.

Possible Name: Elise, from my old notes. Not sure if I picked this one because they both have L in their spellings but I like it. :)

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: Lupus would still be some kind of assistant to Libra I think, regardless of what occupation either of them has. Similar to Scutum (see below!) I actually have a drawing of him as a human, though it's not finished yet:

I had fun with this one :D Though he appears a lot younger as a wolf, he's actually a young adult in terms of age. ------ SCORPIO

Possible Occupation: This is one I actually have a slightly more fleshed out AU idea for, believe it or not! I pictured Scorpio as some kind of secret agent/spy or maybe even a trained assassin or bounty hunter depending on whether he actually has a body count in this AU or not. Perhaps he's caught up in a conspiracy or plot where he realizes he's on the wrong side of it all with what he has been assigned, and has to pivot to save the victim(s) despite the extreme danger in doing so.

If you want a more "pedestrian" angle for the AU though, he could just be the type of guy who tries his best to get by with whoever will hire him, but somehow keeps finding trouble or having trouble find him. Maybe he was categorized as a delinquent in his youth because of his suspiciously adept knife skills, rightfully or otherwise, leading to his characteristic brooding pessimism even after he became a young adult.

If Virgo/Libra are still tied to the justice system in this hypothetical, I think it would be funny if Scorpio was truthfully just a regular guy, but one that constantly gets roped into ridiculous situations through no fault of his own. So once they get him on the stand and they look at him like "...again?" he's just like "for the love of god it's not me this time-"

Apparently I cannot give him a break even in an AU, sorry bud xD

Possible Name: To match his occupation, it's likely that his real name is unknown/redacted and he uses Agent Scorpio/Scorpius as a code name or alias instead. Not sure what his name would be in an otherwise normal situation though, maybe he has to keep changing it to avoid whatever trouble keeps finding him.

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: In sharp contrast to Scorpio, Scutum is a paramedic with a big heart and chipper attitude, the kind that may not follow the rules all the time but is always riding off on his Moped with his medical bag to save a life somewhere. If he arrives on the scene on time, he has a tendency to put himself between a victim and the assailant's weapon to protect them, earning him his nickname. I've actually drawn this version of him too :D

(this is still one of my favourite designs to date, heehee :'D )

Despite their opposing occupations, he and Scorpio end up working together a lot more than either of them expected. As a paramedic, Scutum has the MO of "everyone deserves rescuing", including trained assassins in this case! To him it doesn't matter who they are, a patient is a patient. ------ SAGITTARIUS

Possible Occupation: For some reason I picture him as an outdoorsman, like a hiker or survivalist or something. I think it would be funny if, even when fully human in this AU, he is still mistaken for a bear in the woods from a distance because of his hair and stocky build. Whether he practices archery as a job or simply a hobby is another thing as well, as that could factor into his survival skills or perhaps he competes in tournaments with it.

Possible Name: I have Argus or Darius as a first name here, and considering the Scottish inspiration for his canon design you could give him a Scottish surname as well if you like.

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: If you want to keep Centaurus's insatiable desire to explore, you could have him be a companion on Sagittarius's hikes or a survivalist-in-training. He might want to partake in some spelunking as well if the area in question has caves. Even in canon Centaurus's name is often shortened to Rus, so you could use that here as a short form of Russell.

------ CAPRICORN

Possible Occupation: I think he'd be a well-to-do patron of the arts, likely still an owner or an otherwise staunch financial supporter of a theatre, big or small. Whether he is/was an actor or is simply a performing arts enthusiast is up to you, but I think his refined taste and penchant for the extravagant would still shine through in his demeanour, clothing and possessions. Whether he and Aries are still brothers here is up to you too, though the contrast in their occupations might make for an amusing dynamic, as Capricorn in this AU likely wouldn't lay a finger on a weight even if his life depended on it.

Possible Name: Quentin Armanis, Noctus Finch, or Atticus Strombold (I'm really good at coming up with fancy names I guess lmao)

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: I think Pegasus and her siblings would still be in the performing arts here, though depending on the setting, how they and Capricorn meet might be different. Perhaps Capricorn has a more hidden altruistic side where he supports young and/or indie theatre efforts in addition to the larger ones, but all on the down-low for the sake of whatever reputation he's trying to keep.

------ AQUARIUS

Possible Occupation: I can see her keeping her fashion designer/hair stylist angle here, but how "high profile" she is in this regard could vary in the AU depending on her goals/passions. Regardless of whether her and Pisces are still married in this AU, I could see Pisces becoming at least a muse for Aquarius's designs if nothing else.

Possible Name: Odessa, or some other fancy name that a fashion designer would have.

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: Similar to their initial rivalry in canon, Aquila could be a rival of hers in the fashion world as well, perhaps even "fighting" with similar clothing styles and motifs to see who can do it better. Whether they patch things up or continue the drama would remain to be seen!

------ PISCES

Possible Occupation: For some reason I see her going in a lot of potential directions. She could work at a spa, an aquarium, or maybe she'd be a swimming instructor/competitive swimmer, all options to keep her water/fish theme. Whether or not her and Aquarius are married in this AU may alter one or both of their occupations as well.

Possible Name: Cherise, perhaps to match her predominantly pink/red colours in canon and cheerful personality. Depending on her occupation, I can see others calling her "Miss Cherry" as a nickname (the word cherry derives from cherise, and cerise is French for cherry).

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: This also depends on how you'd approach Austri in this AU, as even if she's still a circus performer like she is/was in canon, how she and Pisces meet would likely be very different regardless. They don't necessarily have to be connected outside of meeting each other at some point though. I could see Pisces simply knowing Austri for being a performer at the aforementioned circus or even as a mute comedian that specializes in physical comedy instead of verbal. Considering Austri's canon connections to Capricorn as well, perhaps they know each other through association that way.

------ OPHIUCHUS

(Including him too because he's sort of the 13th zodiac and it would feel wrong to exclude him considering how important he is to canon lol) Possible Occupation: Considering he's a healer in canon, I'd imagine him being in the medical field would be appropriate, especially since the caduceus (a symbol associated with Ophiuchus and traditionally represents healing) is still used as a medical symbol today. Depending on what you wish to do with Scorpio/Scutum's part of the AU, you could have them be connected (for better or worse!)

Possible Name: No idea, sorry ^^' It could be similarly long/complicated as his constellation name, and maybe has a degree of unintentional intimidation to it. For me at least, the name Ophiuchus always felt very grandiose even if my character with that name is of a more humble nature comparatively, so you could play around with that depending on what angle you wish to take with his character's personality/goals in this AU. Is he still considered an antagonist here, or something else entirely?

Relationship with Zodiac Companion: A similar situation to Cancer where you don't necessarily have to humanize Serpens and Cetus and could make them pet snakes, though having them be Ophiuchus's assistants at his medical practice could also work well too, since that's basically what they do in canon (and the caduceus imagery often includes two snakes already).

[ravio-the-cabinet-man]

friend: *mentions fma, hasnt watched it* "idk the lore-"

me: "do you want to?"

friend: "yes."

me: *becomes an unskippable cutscene*

[phoenixcatch7]

What I'd really love to see is a svsss au where shen yuan had the immense powers from saiki k.

Like, svsss is already a romcom of a guy shunted into a fantasy world with meta knowledge and immense power for no reason apart from 'make a happy ending' as a fairly thick veneer over an absolute hot mess of a tragedy with a happy ending, red flags galore, complete with a protagonist completely removed from the concept of romance and resigned to his fate of being abandoned by the people around him because of the circumstances he was 'born' into, but he's funny about it.

The disastrous life of saiki k is a fast paced crack comedy about a guy granted immense power for no reason with meta knowledge of the world as a thick veneer over something a little darker and traumatic with a happy ending, complete with a protagonist completely removed from the concept of romance and resigned to being ignored by the people around him because of the circumstances he was born into, but he's hilarious about it.

Now I don't think it should be a 1-1 transplant of saiki to the svsss world, but to imagine an sy with those powers who didn't manage to find loyal friends, who moved out to live alone as soon as possible to avoid issues with his powers, who gravitated to web novels because of their regular updates as opposed to being constantly spoiled for books with finished endings. An sy who despite his ridiculous levels of power died alone in a stupid way and woke up in a world filled with people who also had immense and varied powers, dealing with the prospect of immortality when his own powers are still constantly growing and interfering with his life, but be silly about it.

I want to see a sy with telepathy still failing to understand what lbhs deal is because of his own denial, a sy with the power to crush mountains with a finger trying not to blow down walls with a sneeze because someone put him on a mountain FILLED with plants in SPRING, an sy who deleted an entire country from the planet aged four trying to dodge overly enthusiastic maidens he keeps saving because he doesn't want to steal from the protagonist and also no, lady, please. Shen yuan sitting in the water prison absolutely deadpan as people try and scare him with 10 iq stories about the acid waterfalls. An sy who hares around the peak trying to avoid being spotted on valentines day as he redirects unwanted admirers and improves his disciples dates just so they can all have a good day.

An sqh who really, honestly truly doesn't know how pidw was made real, honest!! All he could do was see ghosts! It's not his fault the story he wrote to make rent turned into all of this!! But because you're here can you pretty please make some ice, I'm in desperate need of air con and my king hasn't showed up in weeks!

Sqq and sqh playing telepathic chess during boring meetings and sqq leaving him to suffer when sqh is asked a question even though he himself knows the answer.

Lbh trying everything to get shizuns attention and discovering his total weakness to his cooking. Like, will let you cheat in class levels of bribery.

Sqq stalking dourly through fields of aphrodisiac plant because he's raised his body temperature high enough to burn out any pollen before it gets too close and the system just despairing at getting this man to do something interesting.

Cat!sqq transforming back as fast as he can because he's got a meeting in half an hour and having to rush around trying to find something to cover the cat ears he didn't manage get rid of.

Shen qingqiu pulling out his limiters and dropping the mask to reveal a deity in the shape of a man, something crafted purely of psychic energy and burning fury, determined to hold maigu ridge together and keep the realms apart with his will alone, to save luo binghe if it killed him again. A shining aura stretching miles, glowing like a star, halting the earthquake with his bare hands.

Sqq seeing a bug and freaking out so hard he teleports to the northern demon realm and lands in a slushy pond, and sqh nearly giving him away because of how hard he's laughing.

[livvyofthelake]

did i ever tell y’all about my little cousin who i’m very patiently waiting for her to turn 12 or 13 so i can get her to read city of bones as a long term comedic revenge plot against her father

[azuneekun]

I'm pretty sure I've been through your my art tag like 4 times, I love your art style so much I also really like going to the beginning and seeing how it's changed. I appreciate the time and effort you put into your craft (and I also really appreciate the shirtless and bloody Shane pics like ho boy that's a dude if I ever saw one) love you lots hope life is treating you decent!

omg

[airenyah]

and so what if i'm rewatching simm. again.

so what.

[theofficialpeanutgallery]

GUYS

GUYS

I GOT AN EMAIL FROM TRUMP.

I think it’s like, a mass-sent email for all his “supporters” (yes, I’ve been Diagnosed with Trump Supporter by Trump himself, which is hilarious for a number of reasons), begging poor people to pay for his next campaign, so he can ‘Save America from Joe Biden and the Left.’ That’s President Biden to you, sucker.

Don’t know how to break it to you, buddy, but I kinda am the Left.

Like, my brother’s a full-on raging socialist, we as a family listen to Rise Against and oppose fascism as a general rule.

Wonder how he got my email, google.

Anyway, there’s an option for “donating another amount”. Wonder if I can get away with -12 dollars...

Or I could just reply with as many of his most hated photos as I can cram into email form.

[joelsdagger]

‘tis the season || one shot

joel miller x f!reader

nothing new. nothing exciting. just some pwp. major shout out to my very freaky girl @dinandwhiskey, this fic was born due to our 4am conversations about fucking Our Old Man on viagra. and to my fellow ocean unicorn @joeloverture, for the encouragement, always. and to @pedrospatch, for being my eyes, and my biggest cheerleader, you have my heart. anyway – merry christmas eve eve & happy holidays ya filthy animals. may 2025 be ever so kind to you <33

pairing: dbf!joel x reader summary: you’re back in town for christmas, and it’s been months since you’ve seen your boyfriend, joel miller. and he decides to make the most of the brief window of time you have together.  or,  joel fucks you after taking viagra. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ warnings: [no-outbreak au], implied age gap [no mention of ages but reader is in college], secret established long distance relationship [that’s a mouth full] [that’s what she said], drug use, joel miller on viagra is a beast, pet names [baby, darlin’, sweetheart, kiddo], sexualization of the terms kiddo & old man, [mocking] dirty talk, size kink, praise kink, daddy kink, brief mentions of smut that occurs off page [i.e: face-sitting, fingering, anal play, ass eating/rimming, a reach around handjob, f! & m! receiving oral], softdom!joel, unprotected piv, missionary, mating press, overstimulation [rip our girl she’s fighting for her life], dacryphilia, finger sucking, biting, smidge of a pain kink, creampie, squirting, joel fucks you while you’re on the phone with your father, mentions of christmas, (2) christmas puns [author apologizes in advance for said puns], probably [most likely] inaccurate and unrealistic descriptions to the effects of viagra [remember, this is fiction!!], omitting a few tags as to avoid spoilers!!, aaaaand lastly, they’re in love BYE! word count: 3.5k

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“Just one more time, sweetheart.”

You don’t respond, tongue-tied. The agonizingly slow drag of his cock inside you is too much, your mind is a blur. 

Joel’s been fucking you for hours. He’s made you come six times since you practically pranced through his front door. Twice on his face, once on his fingers, and three times on his cock. And now you’re overstimulated — cunt swollen and almost begging for relief — but Joel, driven by your high-pitched moans and strained whimpers, is unable to stop himself, working to make you come just one more fucking time.

It’s thanks to that stupid little blue pill his buddy slipped him that he’d been able to fuck you for this long. 

In truth, he doesn’t need it. He never needs it. He fucks you perfectly fine without it. But you’re home for the holidays, and you haven’t seen him or come successfully on your own since the beginning of the fall term, and Joel wanted to take advantage of that.

Send you back fucked so full o’me you’ll feel me in here for weeks, he’d groaned. 

Your drippy hole stretched out and clamped tight around the thick girth of him. It had been so long, your face contorted at the sharp sting, and a pained hiss escaped through his gritted teeth when he pushed the delicious fat tip of his cock past your puffy folds, splitting you in two. 

The warm walls of your cunt pulse around his shaft, your clit throbs against the wet thatch of thick hairs stippled gray at his base. You’re too sensitive, too tender, cunt stinging with every long stroke, but not in the way it makes you want to use your safe word. 

It’s just that Joel hasn’t let up. Two hours spent making you come and he hasn’t let up once. The only time he had given you some semblance of a break was when he got up, turned around, and sat on your face at your plea — your desire to show him how good he had made you feel all those times before. 

His cock in your hand, weak fist tugging away at his length while you lathed away at the tight little hole in the crease between his ass cheeks. Even then, Joel couldn't help himself; shoved three thick fingers into your puffy pussy — timing the thrust of them to the desperate pumps of your joint fists — jacking his cock in unison while you writhed beneath him, pulling another climax from you. 

Only when his sweaty thighs quivered around your body, chin tilted towards the ceiling and a stream of profanities poured from his lips, his body curling over yours as hot spurts of his cum painted your soft tummy when he felt your finger slipping past his puckered rim to the knuckle, had he given you a break. 

“Attagirl, just like that. Pretty little pussy’s gonna cum all over me. C’mon, baby, give it to me,” Joel’s voice is thick with arousal as he rambles above you, his hips expertly rolling into yours, head of his cock nudging that place incompetent college boys have failed to reach. 

“Joel—fuck—I don’t think I can—” You gasp frantically, tears pricking at the corner of your eyes, arms wound tight around him.

He smirks with another deliberate roll of his hips. “Thought you said you could keep up. Isn’t that what you said? “Naw, I reckon you said, Try keeping up, old man, wasn’t that it?”  He mocks, imitating your words from earlier. Fucking bastard. 

A whimpering mess, your eyes pinch shut in response. 

“I can’t—” you croak, fingernails digging into his shoulders. 

Deft hands brush your hair back from your face. “You can. I know you can, baby.”  His voice softer, barely audible through the wet smack of his balls, smeared in the evidence of your earlier release, firmly slapping against the curve of your ass. The sounds obscenely echoing through the quiet of his bedroom. 

You whimper and try fruitlessly to nod. He knows you can, and he’s right. Your hips wouldn’t be grinding up off the mattress to meet his thrusts. You wouldn’t be feeling something roiling low in your belly.

“One more time, baby. Give me one more n’ I’ll let this sore little pussy rest,” he whispers, lips kissing away your salty tears. 

You nod eagerly. His hand reaches up to the headboard, fingers curling around it and locking into place, his other removes one of yours from his shoulder, pins it to the pillow above your head. And with his hand clasping your damp palm, fingers squeezing then interlocking with yours, he fucks you harder. 

The change in pace has tears spilling from your eyes and pooling into the shells of your ears. The wave swells, swells, swells —

Your phone screen lights up the dark room, buzzing on Joel’s nightstand. 

You freeze, neck craning in the direction of the vibration, eyes squinting and damp lashes fluttering at the bright screen, Dad, it reads. 

Shit. 

You gaze back up at Joel, wide-eyed, panic surging in your chest. Joel growls. “Don’t answer.” 

You don’t listen. You know your father, he’ll keep calling until you answer. Without saying another word, your hand comes up to the wooden surface in search of your phone. You take a few deep breaths, trying to quell the anxious heat swirling inside you, unplug your phone from the charger, slide a shaky thumb across the screen, and press the phone to the shell of your ear.

“Hey—” You clear your throat awkwardly, “Hey, Dad,” your voice breathy, tired.

You unstick your body from Joel’s, your free hand presses to his strong chest, a silent effort to halt his movements.

“Kid! I’m sorry to call you this late, but before you left for Eve’s, I forgot to let you know to be home in time for breakfast.” 

Jesus. That could’ve been a text. 

You sit up, scoot back into the pillows, while Joel sits back on his knees, wincing in unison as his cum-drenched cock slips out of your overflowing slit. Almost instantly, you feel a steady stream of his spend trickle out of your opening. He’d already managed to fill you to the brim three times tonight.

You fiddle with your bottom lip. “Breakfast? I thought we were just doing dinner.”

“Well, I thought since you’re only in town for a few days, we could go the whole nine yards. I missed our breakfasts together. I enjoy them, kid,” he says softly. 

Your bleary eyes flick back to Joel. The smug grin that graces his lips and the gleam of something darker in his eyes don’t put you at ease. He’s up to something, as always. 

You grumble, massaging your forehead. “Yeah, sure, Dad. I’ll be home by nine. Listen, I gotta—” 

“Oh! Speakin’ of dinner, I was thinking of inviting Joel over,” your dad says, plainly.  

Your heart stutters. “Joel? W-Why?”

The corner of Joel’s mouth twitches, dark eyes glimmer with mischief. Two heavy hands find your waist, and he’s sliding you back down towards him. Slow and suspicious, one of his hands finds your knee, and presses it flush to the mattress. You both watch as his other hand cups the back of your other knee, pushing it back down to match the other, exposing you to the sex-tainted air. With his eyes transfixed on the slow trickle of his spend, his hand then wraps around the base of his cock, tip lining up with your aching hole. 

There it is. 

“Poor guy has been asking about you, kid.” And Joel glides the head of his cock up and down your puffy seam, collecting your mixed juices on his tip then taps the heavy weight of it on your perked clit twice in quick succession; Joel smirks at the wet smack. You jolt, thighs attempting to clamp shut, his firm grip on your knee tightens, keeping you open for him. 

You pinch your eyes closed and curse under your breath. 

“What was that, honey?” 

Your eyes snap open, and you scramble to recover, “N-nothing, I just–” You clear your throat again. “Sorry. What were you saying, Dad?”

Joel chuckles lowly as he leans forward on top of you, pressing his broad frame in on you, your legs instinctively wrap around his waist. Chest to chest, belly to belly, pelvis to pelvis, tacky skin against tacky skin, once again as before. He tucks his face into the crook of your neck, and with his mouth at your other ear, his tongue darts out to lick at the salty droplet there before suckling ever so slightly on your flesh, you bite back a moan. 

Your dad, oblivious to your current state, continues, “Oh— Joel’s been asking after you. Think he’s getting sick of your old man if I’m honest. He keeps telling me he misses having you around, always goin’ on about how you’ve grown up right before his eyes…”

He can hear him. You know he can by the feel of the corner of his mouth curling up into a grin, teeth grazing your carotid now. He lifts his head, dark gaze meeting yours while his massive hands cup your tits, caressing, squeezing, kneading, while muttering, Goddamn have you grown up. 

Your cunt flutters around nothing, and you sigh into the phone; your dad doesn’t hear it through his rambling. You don’t register what he’s chatting away about because then, Joel’s nose nuzzles into your neck, traces a line up, up, up until his tongue snakes out and meets the curve of your earlobe. Licks the meat of it into his mouth and takes it between his teeth, your whimper cuts off into a moan when the bite turns sharp.  

His fingers fiddle with your nipples. “Naughty little thing,” Joel taunts, warmth of his breath fanning across the hinge of your jaw, “You liked that?” 

You keen and nod, his hand dips south between your bodies, wrapping around the base of his length, notches the too-wide cockhead at your too-small hole. You turn your head, pressing your mouth to the scruff of his beard, muffling the whine he elicits from you. 

Joel pushes inside, takes a moment, and just to mess with you — he fucks his tip in and out of your drooling hole in small pulses — once, twice, thrice — teasing you, making you moan. He tilts his head, nosing your cheek, breath hot and voice deep, “Listen,” he commands.

Absentmindedly, you tilt your phone away from your ear, away from your dad’s mumblings. You strain your ears to obey him. In and out, in and out. The squelch of your sticky wet reverberates  against the four walls of his bedroom as the blunt head of his cock moves in and out. 

In. And out.  

“Fuck,” you mutter, eyes flitting down to watch his cock impale you. 

Your dad’s voice cuts in through the fog, redrawing your attention.

“Sweetie? You okay? What’s wrong?” 

Your eyes widen. Shit. “I’m–I’m–fine, I– I j-just stubbed my toe. Dad, I really can’t t–” You stammer, and Joel chuckles lowly. 

Your stuttering emboldens him, taking it as an invitation to torture you further, and with his lips against your ear, a breathy moan escapes from his lips as Joel feeds you his cock, slowly working himself back into your spent cunt. So painfully slow that he ensures you feel every ridge and every vein, and in turn, he feels every inch of your warm, velvet walls sucking him in as he eases himself into you. Used cunt clamped tight around him as you welcome him back in — inch by torturous inch. 

He stills once he reaches resistance, and you bite your bottom lip hard enough that you taste copper, suppressing the moan climbing up your chest as his tip knocks your cervix, heavy balls pressed flush to your ass — finally bottoming out inside you.

He ruts into you once, tip bumps your cervix again — goading you, and you gasp in return, fingernails indenting his shoulder, half–moon crescents marking his skin. Beads of sweat roll off his forehead and onto your face, mixing with the warm tears now cascading down your face, and your tongue darts out to taste it. The flavor of him — his sweat, his musk — only feeds the dizzying blur that is your mind. But through the foggy haze and the lewd, wet slap of flesh against flesh, you think you can hear your dad saying, You really need to quit the habit of walking around in the dark, kiddo.

And you think you’re nodding, an endless litany of, yes, yeah–yeah slipping past your lips, as you rush your way through the phone call with your father, uncaring. Only interested in the shifts of Joel’s hips, slowly fucking into you in measured thrusts.

Joel tuts. “Such a dirty fuckin’ girl, gettin’ off while speakin’ to her daddy.” And your grip in his hair tightens, walls tensing in response. “Attagirl, keep squeezin’ me like that. You gonna show me just how naughty you are for me, hm? Gonna let me have it with him on the phone? Gonna cream all over my cock, naughty girl?”

You nod your head numbly, mouth dry and unable to speak with the tip of his cock prodding at the soft spot inside you on every languid stroke, hips swaying back and forth.

The wave begins to crest, and despite your eager nodding at Joel only a second prior, there’s no way in hell you’re really going to come on your boyfriend’s cock — your dad’s best friend — while on the phone with your father. 

Your voice claws its way up your throat, “D-dad, I’m — mmm — sorry I really have to g–”​ You think your thumb presses the red button, but your phone slips from your hand, dropping to the carpet with a muffled thump, and it’s too late to check if you’ve fully hung up on him, and frankly, you’re too consumed by your lover to care. 

Grinning with pride, Joel pulls back, cock halfway out of your pussy and your hands grasp at his shoulders. 

“Joel— f-fuck–please,” you beg, your resolve melting. 

He clicks his tongue. “Na-uh, try again.” 

“D-d-daddy–please,” you whine. 

“D-d-daddy,” he mocks above you. “Say it, pretty girl.” He knows, but he wants to hear you say it. 

“Harder. Please, daddy–I–I wanna come, please, I wanna come,” you mewl, voice all whiny and petulant.

He says nothing. Without pulling out of you, his long fingers wrap around to grip the backs of your knees, pinning your thighs to your chest, knees to your shoulders, feet dangling in the air beside his beautiful head, folding you in half. Then, he moves to plant his feet flat on the mattress, propping himself up, hands on your thighs to steady himself. 

You’re already a mewling, writhing mess underneath him as he fucks in and out of your wasted cunt — it doesn’t take much longer for you to get there. The air fills with sounds of the headboard hammering against the wall and filthy, sloppy sounds of where you two are connected as he bashes into you with arrant primal vigor.

The new angle has him hitting a point inside you, deeper than you ever thought to exist. And still — the wave doesn’t break. With his eyes locked on yours, you know he can tell. He can always tell. He’s made you scream his name enough times since the beginning of your many clandestine meetings last summer to know when you’re teetering on the edge. In need of more. 

And for a moment, you think you can see it in him. Hazel eyes practically glint against the pale moonlight that spills into his bedroom. Joel bares his teeth in a cocky grin, his hand releases one of your thighs to cup your face, thumb parting your plush lips when he says, give it to me, kiddo, soak your old man’s cock. 

Oh fuck. 

Your eyelids flutter shut, your head falling back onto the pillows, hands clutching and pulling at tufts of his grizzled curls. Lips closing around his thumb wedged in your mouth; licking, sucking, biting into his flesh, as the crest finally breaks and washes over you, taking you under the rogue waves.  

But Joel still doesn’t let up. One more time, my ass. 

He’s insatiable. And he shows you just how insatiable he is when his thumb slips from your spit-smeared lips and reaches between your bodies, the pads of his fingers expertly thrum at your sensitive clit.

Your face twinges up at the intense, almost painful pressure as he pinches your clit between his index and middle fingers, hard. The swing of his hips speeds up, cock relentlessly beating your sore cunt. The sight of his girth, disappearing and reappearing as he pounds your pussy at a punishing pace, and his fingers twisting your swollen clit has your belly pulling taut and snapping within the same beat. With a broken shout of his name, you gush around the root of his cock, dripping down his balls. It’s warm and sticky when it seeps down, past your tight ring of muscle, soaking his blue sheets and turning them the shade of charcoal gray. 

Joel coaxes you through your seventh–eighth toe-curling orgasm of the night. An endless stream of sweet nothings spills from him — good girl, that’s it, kiddo. I know, I know, it’s so much, I know – fuck– such a good fuckin’ girl, as he fucks you through it. 

Your sloppy cunt clenches around him, and with his cock choked tight, deep within your bruised walls, he follows soon after. Growls raggedly as he unravels, and his own orgasm rolls through him, decking the hall of your weeping cunt with warm, milky ropes of cum for the fourth time tonight. 

Joel collapses onto your sticky chest, placing open-mouthed kisses to your dampened face — your cheek, your nose, your forehead, while he pumps you full of his seed, abiding by his promise. And when he’s done, his sweaty forehead drops to yours for a moment. The waves now a steady ripple through your body as you come down.

After a moment, he lifts his head, and in retaliation for giving you what was possibly the best fuck of your life while on the phone with your father and nearly exposing your tryst, you bring one of his hands to your face, hollow your cheeks, and suck his thumb while looking up at him with wide and falsely innocent eyes. 

He licks his lips but manages to pry his post-coital eyes away. Instead, his cum-soaked cock slips out of your tired, leaking cunt. When he leans back, you swallow a moan, catching sight of the aftermath of your many arousals in his pubic hair. Graying curls swimming in a pool of your combined releases that drips down his thighs. A thin strand of your shared pearlescent spend shines in the soft moonlight, stretching from his balls to your folds, still connecting the two of you as he pulls away. 

Joel misses it, something else pulls his attention. His gaze shifts to the clock beside your head. A hint of a smirk passes over his lips. 

“You’re lucky it’s Christmas, darlin’,” voice low, dangerous. 

Your head snaps in the same direction. It’s past midnight. You smirk in turn and pull the comforter up to hide it.

You feel him shift over you, elbow popping loudly as he reaches for what he’s looking for before he moves to sit up beside you, back against the headboard. His hand pulls the comforter back down from your face, and you roll over and sit up on your knees to face him. 

His other palm opens, wordlessly presenting you with a single twig of some plant. One with moss green, teardrop–shaped leaves and plump, round berries, waxy and opaque in color.  

Mistletoe.

You take the meat of your bottom lip between your teeth, stifling a laugh that threatens to bubble through you. Because of fucking course he would. 

Though, the soft laugh is short-lived. His broad hand waves the mistletoe over him, but not where it should be. Your gaze follows the movement of his hand, and your mouth falls agape. Your eyes snap back up to Joel’s, and his wicked smirk broadens.

Joel Miller — naked as the day he was born and splayed on top of his messy sheets — dangles the mistletoe over his length, still hard as a rock and stirring in his other hand.

But it doesn’t stop there. 

Beneath the mistletoe rests a lump of bright red and velvety felt; a fluffy white cuff rounds the brim, and a matching fuzzy white bobble hangs at the end of it. 

A Santa hat perched jauntily on his cock.

You shut your mouth and swallow thickly, already feeling that familiar ache at the apex of your thighs, and you clench around emptiness, a stream of his seed dribbling out of your overstuffed cunt and further soiling his bedding. 

“But it ain’t a Merry one till you give Santa's big sack a few kisses.”