#thank you anon for sending this i enjoyed writing it!!

[melon-fodder]

mkay how about instead of over sharing the bad/sad parts of my first blog and everything from 2020 I focus on the good parts that I never wanna forget 🥹

• posting mistaken for strangers, the fic that put me on the edge of the bnha writing radar

• people sending in requests and thirsts for Aizawa and Enji (I think I wrote my first p*ss piece at this time lmfao. The start of something beautiful)

• making my first like real friend and being invited into my first ever discord server. (forever thankful for you, meeps. you have done more for me than you will ever ever know)

• that one anon I will never forget who told me I was like mirio because of how positive and friendly I was (I’m trying to get back to that. It meant so much to me)

• meeting lauren. Staying up and talking, sending paragraphs back and forth cause we were so eager to get to know each other

• her introducing me to Nyki and all of us falling so in love with each other 🥹💚 we knew our friendship was something special

• voice chats between us that would last hours. That one night I could only listen cause I didn’t wanna wake my husband so I just replied to everything with emojis (🪿🥛) we were in fucking hysterics

• starting smut pile and watching it flourish into a truly beautiful community. I think we did a pretty good job running it tbh. People told us they felt safe there. High praise

• server game nights. Among us and jackbox. Sooo much fun

• people mixing lauren and me up on tumblr cause we were always on each others blogs. pleasant and present teehee

• tuning into the first server’s PowerPoint party and one of them making one about sounding jgkehrkdjd (this could be the start of something new~)

• watching Lauren and June suffer through attack on titan as they watched it for the first time and grinning maniacally as they fell in love with their true blorbo loves

• Marq’s wedding!!!

• my wedding

• watching Lauren’s graduation online and being so proud 🥰

• hosting the smut pile collabs and seeing how many people enjoyed writing in them. The effort and love they put into their fics

• seeing deflowered take off out of nowhere. (Mixed emotions about it but I’ll always consider myself lucky for getting to experience it and being able to touch so many people)

• streaming jjk with Nyki every week as the episodes were dropping

• getting close with dym and becca 😍

Many special times with many special people—friends and strangers online—that I wouldn’t trade for anything. 💚

[sukirichi]

SUKI SUKI? @! ÷ 2? I THINK YOU HAVE CLOSED THE REQS BUT IT OCCURRED TO ME TO ME MAGICALLY HELP. LISTEN !!!! husband bonten but the first time they met with y/n, like THE FIRST INTERACTION OF EVERYONE AND IN WHAT SITUATION DID THEY HAVE AN INSTANT CRUSH TO EACH OTHER AND EVERYTHING THAT CONTAINS?×)÷,×!",!)0273*?× ¡÷ 2 I PRAY YOU TO WRITE IT, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT IS IN 10 YEARS 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 IM CRYINH

BONTEN MEN MEETING THEIR WIVES FOR THE FIRST TIME !! (PART ONE)

☁️ mikey, haitani ran, haitani rindou

☁️ unedited. mild angst on mikey's part. ran is technically not a first meeting, but yeah! suggestive on ran's part. fluff. cursing. mikey is lowkey a stalker. (only putting the three of them first because it was getting too long 😭)

♡ — MIKEY

It’s just another day, another mission. There’s nothing new for Mikey. And even if there was, there’s hardly anything he looks forward to now. Whether it’s a mission accomplished or mission failed, he hardly notices. His executives will take care of it, anyway. So he walks aimlessly in the streets he calls his, unafraid of the night’s darkness and the dangers it might bring – quite frankly, because he is the danger that lurks. What is there to be afraid of when he’s the worst imaginable nightmare around?

So lost in his own thoughts, it takes him a second to register the collision of his body with someone else. “I’m sorry!” a sweet voice cuts through the night air. You sound adorable and apologetic enough Mikey’s eyes light up for just a brief moment. Dark, lifeless eyes come to life as he glances at you – bowing in apology while clutching your satchel to your chest. “I wasn’t looking where I was going and I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to–”

At any other day, Sanzu would’ve handled this for him. At any other day, Mikey would’ve let it slide and moved on because he just doesn’t care. You’re a civilian, anyway, and you knew better. No one bumps into him like this by accident. Curious, he tilts his gaze to you. There’s only one good conclusion of your unabashed expression that of guilt and genuine embarrassment – you must not have any idea who he is and treated him like you would anyone else.

He’s not the fearsome Manjiro Sano to you.

He’s just a stranger you inconvenienced, and for some reason, that soothes him. He’s not a killer in your eyes. He’s not a person who’s continuously done the wrong thing for the past few years. He’s just... him.

“It’s okay,” he replies after a moment, tucking his hands inside the pockets of his hoodie. “It’s late, though. You shouldn’t be out around this time of night. It’s dangerous.”

“Oh, I know,” you scrunch up your nose, “Gangs are running rampant and all. But this is the only time I can take a high-paying shift, and what’s the point of safety if I can’t pay my bills, right?”

He doesn’t know how to answer that. He hasn’t worried about bills in a long time – Kokonoi has that covered. Instead, he nods, finding it hard to look away from you. “Stay safe, then. And if you need help, then...” Then, what? The gangs would help? Bonten would keep you safe? No, that was ridiculous. Bonten was the one thing everyone wanted to be protected from.

It hits him, then, that he is the monster that makes everyone feel unsafe. And for once in his life since he’d established Bonten, Mikey feels sick.

He doesn’t want to be the cause of your worries.

— It doesn’t take much to find out everything about you – where you work, where you live, when your shifts happen, and even silly details like what your favourite flavour or cup ramen is. He tells himself he’s doing this for your safety, and in a way, he is. You weren’t kidding when you said you take graveyard shifts because it pays the best, so upon finding out you come home really late, and go to work just as, Mikey takes it upon himself to watch from afar. Never approaching, never striking a conversation – because he doesn’t know what to say, and how could he explain he knows your routine by now – but always watching. Guarding. Protecting. He must look ominous gazing upon you from buildings afar, but he’s content with it. He thinks he can do this for as long as he likes, simply watching you from afar.

— But then he realizes he wants more.

— And he doesn’t know what ‘more’ means exactly. More time with you? You don’t even know who he is. More conversations? He’d probably stumble over his words, or make the worst jokes. Fuck. He hasn’t joked in a while. Would you even find him funny? He thinks about all day long, all night long, until you’re the only one running into his mind and he’s been so mentally checked out of his own meetings that his executives have – politely – asked him to just take a while for himself.

— So he does, and because he was never good at controlling his urges, he goes to you. He dresses a little nicer than usual; a newly ironed shirt, a good pair of jeans, and even asked Rindou to fix his hair up for him. “Going on a date?” he’d teased, but even Mikey doesn’t know how to answer that. It’s not a date, but he’d be damned if he let another day go by that you didn’t know his name.

— He introduced himself, rather awkwardly, and pretends like he didn’t come to your work on purpose. “I didn’t know you worked here,” he says, and it couldn’t be a bigger lie. But you just smile up at him like you’re happy to see him, like you’ve been hoping to meet again, and for a moment, Mikey lets himself believe that it could be true. Maybe he deserves that smile. Maybe someone actually wants to see him. He lingers on that delusion long enough that he’s matched his routine with yours – walking you back home, letting you talk about how much you hate your boss, and hate your sleazy customers even more. It’s not easy being a waitress, especially when you’re forced to wear tight-fitting clothes with the intention of attracting customers. And it gets to him. The darkness and rage he’s been letting quietly simmer beneath his veins as to not scare you off finally resurfaces.

— He hates it all – hates how you’re in such an unfortunate situation, and there’s only so little he could do. Until he realizes he’s the Manjiro Sano. After sending in Sanzu to deal with your boss, who may or may not have been gently blackmailed into treating you better and giving you higher pay or else, Mikey notices the weight being lifted off your shoulder. You’ve started smiling more and even invite him to your place one time to celebrate your ‘fortunes.’

“Are you sure?” he asks rather warily, “I mean, it’s late at night.”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” you reassure him, and lead him inside your home. He almost feels bad for you for being so unaware. You don’t have the slightest idea you’re bringing a killer in the safety of your home, but he doesn’t get the chance to dwell on it when you turn on the lights. He’s greeted by your homey apartment, a little cluttered, a little messy, and it’s a little small for you that he can’t imagine would be comfortable – but it’s yours, and you’re proud of it. Pulling out a mat, you tell him to make himself at home while you prepare some celebratory snacks. They’re nothing fancy – mostly chips, cheap wine, and a few hardened candies.

It’s probably the worst timing to realize he’s falling in love.

First of all, there’s nothing romantic about watching you lean against the counter, humming to yourself as you pop open the wine. Second of all, you don’t look enticing or seductive. Not in your mismatched pyjamas and even more hilariously mismatched socks. But you are enticing – from the way your throat vibrates at your humming, to your quick, swift movements preparing the snacks. You look so at home, so content, that he can’t help but want that for himself. Want you for himself. He wants you at his place and to decorate it as you wish. He wants you to liven it up and scatter knick-knacks all over his room. He wants your toothbrush next to his in the bathroom. He wants you – wants all of you – from your crumpled shirt, to your aching shoulders after a long day at work, wants to kiss it all better for you.

He wants you.

And when the Bonten Head wants something, he will get it.

— If someone told him that a few years from now that his silly musings at three in the morning would finally come true, he’d have scoffed at them. But this is his reality is now, and how he’ll spend the rest of his life.

You’re standing next to him in his bathroom, brushing your teeth while simultaneously humming to yourself. He’s heard the melody enough to have memorized it. And when he’s having a hard day, he sings it to himself, although it never sounds as good like when you do it. The tune is comforting, a reminder you’re in his life now, that everything’s worked out. You married him, and he couldn’t be a happier man.

“Something wrong, Manjiro?” you ask after rinsing your mouth, turning to him with a hand on your hips. Stern, yet unbelievably gentle. Cupping his cheeks with your hands, he melts. “Tell me. How can I make it better?”

“Nothing’s wrong,” he says, and it’s the truth. The moment is all too perfect. You’re here with him, you’re safe, and you’ve loved him after everything he’s done. “Just wanna hold you.”

You break him to it. Lunging into his arms, you giggle and bury yourself around his neck, knowing full well he’ll catch you. Mikey laughs, too, but it’s quieter, more reserved, the sound nearly muted because your skin is pressing against his so hard that it becomes hard to fathom there was ever a time he felt he wasn’t worth of love. And maybe he still isn’t. He still has Bonten, he still has horrible urges, he still gets the demanding itch to kill and hurt – but you’re there, in his arms, and he feels the darkness slowly simmer into tamed shadows.

♡ — HAITANI RAN

Ran is not subtle with his feelings. He believes in the beauty and art of flirting, of holding one’s gazes for just a second longer than what was considered polite, the fleeting, yet burning touches one could pass off as innocent. He’s had enough experience in his life to have mastered it. He’s handsome, he’s irresistible, and he knows it. Beauty and charm is a weapon he wasn’t ashamed of wielding, especially not around his current flavour of the month – or more like months, now. He’s played this game of tic tac toe with you, this push and pull, for so long that he feels he’ll lose his mind.

Like everyone else in Bonten, he usually gets what he wants. But you’re different. You’re attracted to him – that much he knows – but you’re the one responsible for all of Bonten’s uniform and suits that your attraction borders just on the edge of professionalism. But he knows. Oh, he knows. You aren’t so subtle yourself.

Each time he comes around for a fitting, your lips twitch as if you’re fighting back a smile. He also doesn’t fail to notice how you’re gesturing around to your staff in the shop to give you two ‘privacy.’ Bonten executive or not, Ran isn’t foolish – he knows he’s the only one receiving this special treatment. Knows you don’t touch your other clients like this – with a perfectly manicured nail grazing down his arm, your eyes lidded with lust, your blood-red lips caught between your teeth.

It makes Ran yearn.

He wants those same claws to run down scratches behind his back. He wants to take those lips into his mouth, instead, to have you ruin his suits by staining it with your lipstick on his collar, his neck, his tie, his pants. It’d give him more of a reason to come back, anyway. But you just had to be so professional that he always leaves the shop with his pants feeling tighter than ever, his lungs constricted because it becomes hard to breathe around you, yet feeling so addicted to the high of having you so close, yet so far away.

“You should come back for another fitting,” you call out to him just as he swings the door open. He freezes. He’s always the one scheduling a fitting. Unable to help it, he shuts the door and locks it, smirking to himself when he hears the vague hitching of your breath behind the counter.

“And why is that?”

“Oh, you know,” you manage to tease, but ah. He can see right through you. Even with your nonchalant facade, he can tell he’s getting under your veins with every step he takes to close the distance between you. Damn the counter. Damn any customers who might be waiting outside. For now, there’s only him and you, and he thinks he may damn well truly ruin his pants when you look up at him with eyes blown wide with want. With need.

He wishes you could just let go and give in.

“I, in fact, don’t know. But do care to enlighten me,” leaning down, he rests his arms against the counter, glad to finally be at your eye level. You’re prettier in this angle, which baffles him, because you’re already so pretty enough it hurts. And he can’t help but wonder if you’d look a hundred times better in... different angles. An angle under him, perhaps, where you’re helpless and forced to clutch his biceps while you hold on for dear life. Because Ran guarantees once he gets his hands on you, he’s never letting go.

“I just think,” with narrowed eyes, he feels your heated gaze travel from his face that’s inches away from yours down to his chest, and to the bulge constricted around his pants. You let out a breathy sound at the sight of it, his body responding by growing even harder. “Your pants are too tight for you now. Perhaps we should make you a better one?”

“I have other ways in mind in which we could resolve this problem. Preferably one that doesn’t consist of measuring tapes,” he raises his brow, watches as you slowly unfold and unravel right at his palms. It’s almost satisfying. Almost. He’s wanted you for so long that frustration is more what he feels right now, and impatience. “Although I’m not entirely against using ropes.”

♡ — HAITANI RINDOU

Rindou doesn’t concern himself with civilians. He has better things to do, and after a long day, he’s more than ready to just plop himself into bed and wake up only when the world is ending. Or, he could just let it end, too. He couldn’t care any less. Unfortunately for him, though, the universe has different plans for him that night. He just wanted to get a damned drink, for fuck’s sake, until he hears screaming and the shuffling of feet as soon as he steps out of the convenience store.

“Stop him!” someone squeals, the cry helpless and desperate. From where he stood, wine bottle on one hand, he could see the figure of a man running with what seemed like a bag clutched to his chest. “Someone help, please!”

Rindou sighs. There’s nothing more that he hates more than petty crimes that are more inconveniences than impactful. Before he could register what he’s doing, Rindou’s arm extended out in front of himself, and within the blink of an eye, the thief whizzing past him had been caught by the collar. The thief struggles against his hold, whining and thrashing with curses thrown his way.

“Let me fucking go, you oaf!”

“I don’t think so,” Rindou tips his head to the side just as a figure appeared behind the thief. You stand there, wheezing to catch your breath with your hands on your knees. At the sight of him effortlessly restraining the thief, you break out into a relieved sigh and snatch back your bag, holding it more possessively. And oh, aren’t you just pretty? With your skin layered with a sheen of sweat from all that running, cheeks damp with tears, your frown now replaced with a grateful smile – Rindou feels like you’re the thief. “Whoa. Careful with that smile, sweetheart.”

Your brows furrow, and he nearly groans. It should be a crime for someone to look so adorably confused. “What?”

“Okay, that’s enough, they got their bag back, now let me go!”

Right. He still had a lame excuse of a criminal on his hand. With a roll of his eyes, Rindou throws the man against to the ground until he’s coughing out blood from when he hit the pavement. He hears you gasp, and it makes him wince. He hadn’t meant to be so harsh. You’re probably afraid of him now.

“Run along,” he warns the petty thief, and he didn’t need to be told twice. As soon as the man disappears, Rindou turns to you, a lazy smile making its way into his face. “You know, I usually hate being troubled, but this might be the first time I don’t mind as much.”

Your jaw drops. You look around frantically in your bag for a moment, and just when he thinks you can’t get anymore interesting, you pull out a wad of cash and shove it to him. Rindou cocks a brow. “And what is that for, sweetheart?”

“To-to thank you for saving me! And it’s also an apology because I troubled you...”

Rindou fights the urge to scoff. “I feel like I should be offended,” he says in a sing-song manner, only because you don’t take the teasing well, and the sight of you stumbling over your words is already making his night. He wants to reassure you it’s no trouble at all, that he’ll easily catch all your thieves for you, or that you can steal his heart and never give it back to him. But he doesn’t, because he’s just met you, and maybe, just maybe, he’s curious how this will go.

“Oh, I’m really sorry, I didn’t mean to–”

“Say, if you really want to thank me, why don’t we share this?” he lifts his wine bottle, and you eye it for a moment before nodding eagerly. His heart drops. He lowers the bottle, his voice growing darker – yet make no mistake. Behind his scowl and hardened eyes, his heart is beating a mile a minute, and his skin is burning impossibly hot. “Don’t you think you say yes a little too easily?”

“Uhm, but you saved me. You helped me, and this is how you want to be thanked.”

Rindou thinks his brain might short-circuit. You are definitely trouble.

“I could be more dangerous than him, you know,” he leans toward you menacingly to prove a point, but you don’t cower. Your breath hitches, and you clutch your bag tighter. But you don’t move away, and neither can he. Now that he’s closer, he can smell your strawberry scented perfume and he shuts his eyes, greedily inhaling the scent. Shit. He hasn’t even drunk anything, and he already feels intoxicated. Taking a step back for his own sanity, Rindou levels you a warning glare. “You really should be more careful, sweet. Perhaps it’ll lower the chances of you running into trouble.”

“Oh,” you look dejected, though he could just be imagining it. “Yeah, okay, uh... I’ll be more careful. Thank you again...?”

“Rindou.”

“Rindou,” you repeat, and he realizes his name sounds sweeter when you say. With a scrunch of your nose, you eye the wine in his hands again. “Will I see you again? I really want to thank you for your help.”

With such a sweet offer, how can he resist? He’d be stupid to say no – even if you were trouble, it’s fine. He wasn’t notorious for being a troublemaker for no reason anyway.

[sillygoofyqueer]

Silly fic idea for you:

SVSSS AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates as a half-human half-crow-demon Phantom thief character.

He doesn’t want to steal from Bing-ge, but his System makes him, and naturally Bing-ge ends up obsessed. Bing-ge keeps luring him into traps with shiny things he just can’t help but want!!! Stupid crow impulses. (That he kinda wants to see Binghe again is irrelevant, obviously).

This is SUPER silly. Anon, this is so funny, I feel like I simply have to write this now oh my god. The idea that Bing-ge is confused at first, and he then sees this super handsome half bird-half human-demon thing and is like "man I need to get me more shiny things, I want to keep this fucker". ALSO, (I've heard that) crows are quite intelligent and start leaving presents as a response to getting fed or being given shiny things, so it could also be something where Shen Yuan starts having the urge to give Bing-ge things back after receiving all these shiny things (better if he doesn't recognise most of the traps as traps, mistaking Bing-ge for being a generous demon who doesn't need all of the shiny stuff he takes) and starts giving him shit like rocks and plants and the cool parts of beasts he fights... It also can be silly no matter when in the timeline this happens - it could be during the QJ peak arc where Shen Yuan sneaks around because he wants to see the awesome protagonist up close! The first time he steals something from Bing-ge, it's something super dumb like a particularly shiny rock or a coin that the boy left lying around, and Bing-ge's quickly like "??? The fuck just happened?" so he sets up a trap with the axe he uses for chopping wood (kind of rusty but still useable and particularly shiny). After that, it's chaos of trying to keep Shen Yuan the demon hidden while also stopping him from stealing other shiny things (cultivator's swords and such). Liu Qingge finds Shen Yuan trying to steal one of the swords he was gifted after saving a village and is also like "??? Kill?" It can also be after the Endless Abyss, when Bing-ge is like a demon lord and just has shiny stuff lying around. He throws it out occasionally and one day, while doing this, he notices a certain person swooping in and grabbing one of the shiny things. More antics ensue but I don't want to crash my laptop lmao (Which one would you rather me do, anon? Before the Endless Abyss, or after? Or both??) {part one! Part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven!} [This gorgeous fanart from @slurmdog that's making me go insane here] [More awe inducing fanart from @moonlightobsessions that has made me pass out here]

[luminique]

HEAR ME OUT, one sided love?? Imagine s/o doesn’t like lighter back, being oblivious about lighters feeling and only see lighter as a friend meanwhile lighter is so MADLY in love with them and is aware of s/o not liking him back but he can’t help it because you’re the only one that makes him feel this way even if his feelings aren’t reciprocated… they’re so doomed think about the potential angst!! 🫤

lighter isn’t perfect. his body is littered in scars of his past, his actions are solutions to mistakes he had made before. to say that he deserved something as rewarding as love didn’t sound right to him, but oh, would it feel right if it was from you.

it was definitely not an immediate fall, rather it was slower like starting a fire. you bring the materials you require, some wood and a starter. it’s difficult to get a fire going, even he knows that with his lighter in hand. his hand gets warmer the longer the flame is out but it doesn’t compare to the accidental grazes of your hand against his gloved ones.

he had poked you once with the spikes on his gloves. the look on your face when you brought your hand up to rub it while you apologized for it. why were you apologizing? every soft “sorry” that came out of your mouth was like sprinkling water onto the fire. best to get fresh firewood so that it doesn’t go out.

ensuring that the fire is a consistent flame is also important to prevent accidents. accidents like playfully taking off his sunglasses and putting it on yourself while imitating him. somehow, that didn’t cause the fire to go out, in fact, it made it burn even brighter than before. the redness on his face when he watched you was comparable to the orange and red hues of a fire.

he stayed close to the fire, close to you. feeling the warmth of love on his skin, finding it calming but also terrifying. it doesn’t rain often in the outer ring but that doesn’t stop him from worrying that it would all of a sudden. so he lies awake at night, thinking about all of the possibilities, the what ifs and its outcomes.

he thought he had considered everything. from keeping the fire from going out, to ensuring it was a stable flame, to tending it slowly and carefully. what he didn’t consider was getting too close to the fire, burning through what he thought was tough skin.

he was too focused on trying to maintain a certain personality, not quite showing his interest in you. so when caesar was talking to you about her love stories while everyone was hanging around the bar, his heart rate increased. just like how consuming alcohol affects one’s mental and physical state, so does it affect a fire. maybe someone poured his drink into the flames as he watched it burn even brighter than before, making him eavesdrop on your conversation.

but a large flame meant a higher possibility of getting burnt, and soon he saw the burn marks on his skin. as you continued to talk with caesar, the longer he let the fire burn him. how you had said that real love wasn’t like the stories, how you seemed disinterested in romance, how you had believed that no one was interested in you. at that moment, he ended up getting more drinks from burnice, hoping it would soothe the roaring flames within him. he drank so much and fell asleep to the soft crackling of the fire, your voice acting as background noise.

he woke up to the coldness of the bar counter pressing on his cheek. the fire had been put out by you when you tapped on his shoulder. the memories of last night flooding into his mind like water. maybe it was all some nightmare and you did like him back, but the sudden coolness of your touch made him realize the reality of it all.

you didn’t like him, and not because he did anything wrong but because he didn’t do anything in your eyes. you were feeding the fire in his heart and he mistook that fire for your heart too. he sat up straight, took one look at you and shook his head. you still cared for him, came with water and woke him up gently. he never intended to get so severely injured because of his own growing feelings for you.

his own feelings, you didn’t even know he had any for you. the pile of ashes, you both stared at it and yet only he knew that fire existed. the flames had misled him, danced around his heart that craved for you, that only asked for you as its fuel. now all he can do was sit next to what was once a big fire, feeling the cold on his skin despite the layers. no warmth left, no light left, no love left.

[eeblouissant]

[Femme!Dorothy anon, this is a long mess and I wish I could articulate myself better because your thiughts are so interesting] yes exactly. Dorothy doesn't want to be associated with anything masculine, and she genuinely is not masculine. She wears the occasional tie and is straightforward and that's it. She is in no way masc in style or behaviour other than being tall with a deep voice. In fact she's very feminine, her style is entirely conventionally on trend femme as a younger woman and as an older woman she is still clearly feminine just not trendily so (her silhouettes are from older decades and her overall style is very unique for the time yet today looks almost proto Boho in certain respects- imagine a modern substitute arts teacher in a getup of hers.). Why it changed is something you nailed, the divorce hit her self esteem hard and I think facing the reality of that plus how she's treated in general drove her from her ideal style, she gets actively laughed at and mocked when she dresses up. So she's retreated to a compromise, a safe style that she feels comfortable in. I can't articulate my thoughts on the change in her whenever she feels nice in a glitzy gown but I know you'll see where I'm trying to go and how important those glimpses are. And to go back to behaviour, this is why I was actually thinking exactly of the scenario you brought up with the strap. She's a feminine woman who has spent most of her life not being seen as either of those things (and then having both tied to a teenaged pregnancy and marriage which is another depressing complication, her femininity and womanhood are by association denigrated as bad choices, moral failings to be redeemed by being a good mother and wife. what does it mean when Stan cheated on her, in this context?). Dorothy wants to be treated as a desirable woman, a lady, and that goes further than wanting to be seen as pretty in a dress. It's also why I think Rose would understand her far easier than Blanche, why I think Blanche would actually trigger her at some point, because Blanche blatantly sees Dorothy as a masculine figure. She puts Dorothy in a protector role, at times almost desexualizes her because of how she's masculinized her. I don't say this as hate, I love Blanche, but Blanche comes from such a specific and different world to the others and its not out of hate that she does it either, it's simply how Dorothy currently fits into her understanding of the world with the tools she's been given. That's really a whole other topic and I don't want to just shove a whole thesis at you that you might not agree with so back to the original point. Yeah, Dorothy wouldn't in a million years want to wear a strap or have a partner assume she wants to lead/top/penetrate. It would be so deeply, deeply humiliating to her in that context and the opposite of healing. You portrayed the exact opposite of this perfectly in your recent fic, you get what her fantasy would be. And I've vomited so many half formed thoughts at you I'm going to stop talking now. The only thing I want to bring up before I shut up is when they're in the Rusty Anchor bathroom because it kills me everytime on so many levels, seeing Blanche wrestle with actually seeing Dorothy as a beautiful feminine woman, how Dorothy clearly understands how Blanche usually sees her, and Dorothy saying she's jealous of Blanche every day of her life because God, that scene is practically this conversation we're having distilled with how the world sees Dorothy and how much pain that causes her. [This message is all over the place and so long. Please feel free to delete it or only quote little parts. It boils down to me thinking you're so right with your headcanons and meta.]

oh anon 🥹🥹🥹 hand in marriage asap because you just get me - oh my god, how could I ever delete or ignore an ask like this !!!!! I absolutely live for your thoughts always (I am in love, seriously, where do I even begin?)

Honestly - and this might be insane so hear me out - would it be too crazy to say that I think those few times when Dorothy does wear elements of a “masculine” outfit, it could possibly be tied back to her own internal struggle with how she presents herself & how she’s perceived? Like, she thinks that maybe the bullying will quit if she gives in and embraces it, if she takes it back and tries to make it something she’s in control of, to try and enjoy something she feels so deeply uncomfortable with (story of her life tbh) because maybe she’ll be able to drown it out then???? are we seeing the vision … just a little thought that came up after reading that first bit, I like angst a normal amount. I feel like there’s definitely a shift away from that “masc energy” as the show goes on but maybe I’m nuts - of course it could have been for many different reasons !!! But I do think it’s mostly a show of growth & shedding those insecurities / stereotypes / etc.

YES !!!!!!!!!! oh my god dorothy fits the 1920s silhouette sooooo soso well & I think that’s what she would say she gravitates toward if asked (on the surface of course. We know by now that the layers & hiding herself is a result of her past and the constant bullying - I do believe that she may also just genuinely find comfort in dressing this way on some level, I don’t think it’s all negative, but it is definitely rooted in insecurity. The fact that she isn’t the bitter type, going on and on about the body she used to have & how she used to look, is kind of shocking to me ? But also a very good example of her gentle nature!!!!! she’s a lot more sensitive and “submissive” than she lets on imo. Very very gentle soul, she is not what she makes people think she is and it’s so devastating to watch her never let that go in canon because we all know she never will.)

Oh my god exactly exactly exactly — like a lady !!!! I’m so glad you brought up Blanche here (and to the blanche enthusiasts, I’m sorry in advance, look away…) because, listen. I have and will always have a problem with the way blanche literally bully’s her constantly & also ropes rose into it a lot ??? like, does dorothy fire back at her just as harshly, yes. Is it (playfully) deserved on both sides sometimes, yes. But holy hell - it seems like every time blanche fires an insult at Dorothy it gets her right in that delicate place because she always puts up her walls so quickly, like she’s genuinely being attacked. And especially having comments like those come from someone like Blanche - the absolute opposite of everything Dorothy has ever been told is wrong with her. Can you even begin to imagine? This has been talked about a few times in the fandom but it’s a subject that makes me especially upset. Blanche is just so unreasonably harsh. I don’t blame Dorothy for some of the things she says to her sometimes I’m sorry 😭🤚🏻. That ep where they were sitting a the table talking about what they’d say at each others eulogy’s , after Blanche said she always felt safe with Dorothy in the house? Yeah, I dont blame her for throwing out that last comment, I would’ve too. Like wow, okay… ( for the record dorothy is not like exempt from also being nasty sometimes, she’s made some insane comments as well 😭)

Blanche most definitely triggers her, many many times we see it!!! It’s so heartbreaking and I could write an essay on the whole subject. And she HAS to be aware of how severe Dorothy’s insecurities are, Blanche is far from oblivious. She’s not stupid, the whole thing is kind of sick. Petition to stop beating Dorothy into the ground please ??????????? Holy hell ???? I absolutely 100% agree with you anon and feel very strongly about the subject. Of the four of them Dorothy gets it the worst idc - it’s sooooooo heartbreaking because she’s the last of them that can handle it, deep down. Yet another topic I could talk about for hours!!!!

I have manyyyyyyyyyyy many things to say on Dorothy’s insecurities playing a massive role in how she views & feels about sex but I’ll save them for my side account, for now know that you are SO correct anon - it absolutely would be humiliating for her (incredible choice of words btw - holy that was so spot on) and would most definitely end in tears. I’ve brought it up five million times now & I promise I’ll shut up until it’s actually published but this is expanded on in the second chapter of that same fic !! Promise to actually post it soon and stop teasing it every other post haha

[ssreeder]

rereading one of the best pieces of literature ever made (liab) and godddddd it's so good like I remembered it being great but really it's so so good. also your writing has improved so so much your style your everything oh chefs kiss !!

AWWWWWW SHUCKS YOURE SO NICE THIS IS SUCH A NICE ASK AWWWWW IM BLUSHING :):):):)

(& omg thank you for the compliment on my writing! I am so sure it has improved over the years,,, I had no idea what I was doing in the beginning ahhh and I still don’t know what I’m doing but at least I have grasped the basic concept after a million words haha)

[talonsin]

Just read your tokitocest fics and all I gotta say is that you low-key got me into it. Do you plan on doing more fics like "Love Like Rotten Fruit"?

YESSSS WELCOME!! I love tokitocest so much, this makes me so happy 😄 their relationship is everything to me so hearing I got you into is such high praise!

Not immediately, but I love writing fucked up characters (Mui especially was really fun to write that way) and toxic relationships, so probably down the line somewhere. I'm writing more tokitocest at the moment but this time it's a sad as fuck Yuichiro character study, so quite the same vibe haha. I'm also a little hesitant to promise anything as my health is very wobbly, but I plan to keep writing for as long as I am able :D

[zombiequeenblog]

Anon opinion!

You are a marvel of a woman, that's not an opinion, that's a fact. You are also devilishly intelligent and it shows in all of your writings! My opinion is that you are secretly a published author gracing us with your work, because you are too good to read for free.

I am in awe of you, and I look up to you as a writer and generally as a person. Your work has done more for me than you could possibly know! You are marvellous.

Oh my dear friend!

You are far too kind to me, I don't even deserve your esteemed notice, but I am grateful for it, and grateful for you. I can promise you, I am no published author inflicting my humble writings upon the world, but I appreciate the sentiment!

I am in awe of you! And if my little writings have brought you any joy or good at all then I have accomplished something noble indeed, and the benefit is returned to me twice over. Thank you so much for your encouragement, your great insight, and for your friendship.

Your comrade in depravity,

Z

[papyrus-onlyblogokay]

i love your blog, thank you for reblogging papyrus for me to look at!!!!!!!!!

💚💚💚!!! Of course! I love papyrus and i love sharing papyrus! I think out of every blog i have ever made, this one is the most worth it for people like you💚! Cheers to the coolest skeleton!

[renegadeknight]

Hi, I just need you to know I’ve read stubborn love twice already. And I regularly think about getting to download it to my kindle in full once it hits 22/22 so I can read it on holiday.

Just need you to know what it means to me :))

Hi, this is me seeing this message:

[allylikethecat]

for the ask list: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist? & Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

AHHH Hello Anon!! Thank you for being so kind as to send me a question from the Fanfic Ask Meme! If anyone else wants to totally make my day and send some more the list can be found HERE. I love chatting about fic and am so grateful that you've taken time out of your day to send this my way!

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Does angst count as a trope? I love messy angst and miscommunication because it just feels super raw and and human to me. To no ones surprise, I LOVE a good SickFic situation omg bring on the suffering! I'm also very passionate about niche AUs where you can fully tell the author has lived in that world IRL. The omegaverse/mpreg will also always be a guilty pleasure of mine. I love the way different authors tackle those topics, the discussions it brings up about sexuality and gender roles, and how authors are so creative with building their own worlds and lore.

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

I hate when woman are made out to be the villain because their existence doesn't fit an author's personal m/m narrative whether it be in RPF or other fictional media. If female characters are going to be included, I personally believe they deserve better. Luckily, there is so much wonderful fic out there, it is very easy to go hmm this one probably isn't for me, then hit the back button and find something else to read, no harm, no foul.

Thank you so much for taking the time to send these my way! I love talking about fic and tropes, and think that fanfic is such a special space because there are so many different tropes that appeal to different people! Are there any that you in particular would like to see me try and explore?

Thank you so much for taking the time to read and send me this ask! I hope. you are having a wonderful day and a fantastic rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[spaceyflowerswriting]

my notifs are starting to scare me i cant believe that many people are looking at and enjoying my stuff

[despairforme]

What could MAKE you apologize? For any reason/fault. (Canon or modern or both, whatever you see fit)))

❝ I ain't never gonna apologize 'fer nothin'! ❞ Came his immediate reply. Sure, he'd ironically say "my bad" or whatever, but it was never an actual apology. He couldn't imagine what could make him actually feel sorry. To feel remorse, you definitely had to care about someone. Respect them. Admit that you'd wronged them, and that they deserved to have said wrongdoing acknowledged. There were lots of emotions you'd need in order to arrive at the conclusion that an apology was necessary, nevermind actually wording it. There was no way in hell that would ever happen. He wasn't sorry for ANYTHING. Considering all the bad shit he constantly pulled, it was clear that he had no conscience. It was something he should've gotten when he became an Arrancar, and took that step towards human emotions, but he'd never gotten his humanity back. He didn't feel sorry for anyone or anything. Not to mention, if you truly pitied someone, you would not SHOW them that. That would just be rubbing salt in the wound. If you cared, you wouldn't do that.

❝ Ain't 'bout what I did, but who I did it 'ta. If I'mma apologize 'ta someone, 's gotta be someone important. ❞ Nnoitra reluctantly admitted. He was not generally one to apologize. Not because he couldn't admit when he was wrong ( he knew he was wrong pretty much all the time ), but because he didn't care. He didn't care to put himself through the humiliation of apologizing if said person's opinion of him didn't matter. That person had to be important. It had to MATTER. Nnoitra had to NEED their forgiveness.

It wasn't like he'd never apologized before in his life. He'd apologized to Grimmjow plenty of times, and lord knew he fucking SHOULD as well, considering everything he'd done to him. In the end, it hadn't mattered, Nnoitra figured. In the end, Grimmjow hadn't forgiven him. Nnoitra didn't blame him for that. Who WOULD forgive the shit Nnoitra had done? There could be no redemption, no matter how much he wished for it.

So yeah, when he did something HORRIBLE to a person he cared about, he WOULD apologize. This sort of "strict policy" meant that Nnoitra's apologies weighed heavy when he delivered them. He never said "sorry" just to get out of a situation. He always, truly MEANT that he regretted his actions when he told someone he was sorry. Of course, those times were few and far in between. He wondered if he'd ever find another person who he'd want to apologize for, and also... What sort of EVIL thing he'd do to them, that would warrant an apology.

[embersofhope-if]

I feel like the first pov just takes me out of the game while the second pov is a lot more immersive

hmm, interesting. personally, it's the opposite for me. whenever i read anything in second person, i kinda feel like im like reading recipe instructions buts thats probably bc i was always taught that those are the only times to use second person pov.

anyways thank you for your thoughts, Anon!! I'll keep them in mind<3

[kyouka-supremacy]

i love your account bc you are one of the few magnificent people in the fandom who truly think and have good take and don't mischaracterise the whole cast (i literally cried when i found you and saw someone get akutagawa instead of making him out to be what most fandom perceives him to be :(( )

[ceru-at-hogwarts]

Omg “Your hand in his” why am I crying it is SO good. I love it! The ending 😭 my heart

Thank you! I’m glad you like it, if it is a comfort writing that made me cry too 😅

This is my first time writing in second person point of view, it’s fun to experiment as such.

Ominis is such a character that had lived through hell, yet had grown to be a good hearted person, kind and caring, loyal to his friends. He deserves a life well spent among people who care about him.