#thank you all for the positive response to part one it truly means a lot!!!

[jemiswumbo]

you be tails, i’ll be sonic (18+)

twitch streamer!luke x reader

part one

authors note: hi hi i’m back with a highly requested part two!! i loved making the graphics for this chapter lol. hope you all enjoy!!!

title is from you be tails, i’ll be sonic by a day to remember. lyrics have no relation to the fanfic, but it IS an absolute banger. anthem. bop. classic.

tags/warnings: smau elements. nsfw elements - MDNI. not proofread. use of y/n.

Over on the desk, Luke’s phone would not stop vibrating.

For the last hour, you’d managed to ignore it, as you were too preoccupied by Luke fucking you with no remorse. Now, as you lay spent and naked and cuddled together until the blankets, the sound was driving you insane.

“Luke,” you whined, burying your face into the crook of his neck (which was now littered with red and purple hickies). “Please shut your phone off.”

Luke chuckled beside you, running a hand through your messy hair. “I will in a minute, I’ll probably have to tweet an explanation for why I shut off my stream so suddenly.”

“Okay. That’s fair,” You decided. Luke leaned over and stretched out his arm, grasping the phone from his desk. He snuggled back in beside you and you watched as he scrolled through a flood of notifications.

The first app he opened was discord, where his gamer friends were chatting in their private server about Luke’s random disconnection.

“Thank god one of my friends was able to figure it out.” Luke murmured, causing you to giggling. Annabeth was, by far, the smartest of the group. Most days it seemed like she was the only one with a working brain cell. You and her got along great, as you worked to keep the boys and thalia in check. They loved to cause a scene or do some dumb shit no matter where they went. It was tons of fun and always entertaining, but also nerve wracking. If they ever caused too big of a scene, someone could takes pictures or videos, upload them… as some of the most popular twitch streamers, everyone would be recognized instantly.

Except for you.

You (by choice) remained out of the spotlight. You loved Luke dearly and desperately wanted to make your relationship public, but the thought of having hundreds of thousands of eyes watching you, loving you, hating you…. it was scary. And you weren’t delusional — you knew, one day, you’d have to step into the public eye. You just didn’t know when you’d be ready.

Luke wrapped up the Discord conversation with his friends and switched over to Twitter, where tons of his fans were talking about his disconnection. You took a deep breath to clear your head, and read some of the tweets on his phone screen.

“Your fans are so goofy,” You said, pressing a kiss to Luke’s cheek. “So… what’s the move? Wifi crashed? Rage quit? Oh my god, what if you confirm Boner Theory?!”

“Jesus, never in my life,” Luke groaned. “I’ll just say it was my wifi. Unless….”

Your eyes widened. You sat up, not caring that the bed sheet fell to your lap, exposing your naked chest. Your heartbeat was definitely exceeding a normal BPM reading. “Baby.. I love you. So much. And I would love to be public. I would love to be your date to the Streamer Awards, and support you at Twitch Con, and cheer you on during your Fortnite tournaments…. But I just don’t think I’m ready.”

“Hey, hey,” Luke sat up, too, enveloping you in his strong, muscled arms and squeezing you tight. “It’s okay, it’s okay. I just thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask. But you know I respect your choices and would never pressure you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“I know,” You sighed, relishing in the warm embrace, and the feeling of your bare chest pressed against his. You swore he could feel how fast your heart was racing. “But also, you can’t say we’re dating now. Boner Theory is a thing, babe. Surely, at least one of your fans would connect the dots.”

Luke laughed and pulled away from the hug, taking a moment to press and long and loving kiss to your head. He smiled at you, his brown eyes sparkling. “You’re so perfect, you know that?”

You shoved him away. “Okay. Tweet something, so we can go watch a movie and smoke and have more sex.”

“Okay, okay,” Luke said, kissing you again and sending some half assed tweet out to his fans. He shut off his phone and grinned. “Let’s order take out, too.”

*************************************

A few weeks later…

*************************************

It was, officially, your one year anniversary of dating Luke Castellan.

You were beyond happy, and over the moon excited for the special dinner you had both planned for the evening. Luke had surprised you with reservations to your all time favourite restaurant. You were going to surprise him afterwards with a brand new lingerie set. It was going to be perfect.

The only, only thing that was making you nervous was the fact that you’d decided today was the day.

You were going to tell Luke, tonight at dinner, that you were ready to go public.

After the whole Boner Theory ordeal, you’d spent countless nights and hours debating your previous decision to keep your relationship private. You knew it was going to have to happen eventually. You also didn’t mind his fan girls; but deep down you got giddy over the thought of showing them all he was taken and he was yours. It would feel so good. And you wouldn’t have to stay out of photos when you hung out with Luke, Percy, Annabeth, Grover, and Thalia. You could go to events with him. You could come up behind him while he was streaming to drop off a coffee or food or kiss his cheek without worrying about it.

There were cons, of course. Most of the debating revolved around the cons, and whether or not it was truly worth it. After all these weeks, you decided it was worth it. You were one hundred percent ready.

You spent the few hours before dinner having an everything shower, doing your best makeup, curling your hair, and choosing an outfit. It helped keep your mind occupied and the stress at bay.

Around 7pm, Luke texted saying he was outside of your apartment. You grabbed your purse and slid on a pair of black heels before racing out the door.

Luke’s car was not hard to miss. He had chosen to pick you up in his bright red McLaren, since it was a super special occasion. He typically never took it out of his garage as it was insanely expensive and just downright beautiful.

You gave him a little twirl on your walk over to the passenger seat, not missing the impressed grin he flashed at your from inside. You hopped in the car and didn’t hesitate to lean over and place a kiss to his lips. He presented you a huge bouquet of fresh, dark red roses. You gasped and clutched the bouquet in your arms, kissing his cheek and expressing your gratitude.

“You look stunning,” Luke said, eyeing you up, clearly in awe. You laughed and blushed, enjoying the praise. “Seriously. I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

“What did I do to deserve you?” You retorted, besrt racing at the sight of his gorgeous features. He was dressed up, wearing a sharp grey suit with a dark with a black button up beneath. He was so good looking, you simply swooned just from his smile alone. The smell of the roses made you feel like you were on cloud nine.

The drive to the restaurant was quick. The waiter showed you to your table, which was secluded in the back corner and shrouded by a wall and some pretty plants. The lights were dimmed and candles were lit. Luke ordered an expensive bottle of wine, which you both shared and sipped on while waiting for the food to arrive. It was now or never.

“Okay, baby,” You started, dabbing your napkin to your lips. “I’ve thought long and hard about this. But I think I’m ready to go public with our relationship.”

Across the table, Luke’s eyes widened and he spluttered, mid sip. He coughed into the back of his hand and you bit your lip nervously, waiting for his response.

“Are you sure, angel?” Luke asked, reaching out to take your hand in his. He rubbed his thumb against your skin in comfort. “Once we go public we can never go back. My fans will know who you are.”

“I know,” You said, firmly. You offered him a warm smile. “Like I said, I’ve been thinking about this for a while. And I’m ready. Definitely, totally ready.”

“Well in that case, I’ve had an Instagram post drafted for like, the last three months. I can finally post it!” Luke said, picking his phone up from the corner of the table.

You smacked his arm in playful angry, failing to suppress the smile making it way to your cheeks. “You are so dumb. They better be cute pictures, at least.”

“They are, I swear!” Luke laughed. “Cute caption, too. You promise you’re okay with me posting it?”

“Yes, Luke. I promise.” You took his hand again, letting out a shaky breath and trying to muster some courage. “I know it’s only been a year of dating, but I can whole heartedly say you are my best friend in the whole world. I love you. I truly do see us being together forever. So I want to make it public now, on our terms.”

“I love you, too, baby.” Luke said with an attractive grin. You blushed and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear shyly, whilst he set up his Instagram post. After a few silent moments, he flashed you a triumphant thumbs up. “There, it’s posted. I tagged you, too.”

You ignored the buzzing of your own phone, choosing to flip it to silent mode. “Happy Anniversary, my love.”

Luke smiled at you, once again taking your hand in his. With utmost sincerity and his heart of gold, he replied, “Happy Anniversary to you too, angel.”

a/n: thank you all for reading, hope you enjoy!! again this is not proofread. part 3 with the streamer awards??? 👀👀

taglist: @augustiscoquette

[hotheadedhero]

Ok question how would the tmnt bros (all 4) react to someone having a crush on them, and they confess, but the turtle rejects at time... but later on he realizes no wait I actually do like them!

But theres already been like a good month or more since the confession and their crush has been sorta avoiding them by hanging out with the other turtle bros and though still being polite, they avoid like being alone with their turtle crush and try to act like they don't have a crush still(but they do)

Sorry if I didn't write the request right! and thanks for your writing I love how you write the turtles!

Frothing at the mouth. No words. Speechless. Thank you so much anon! This request is absolutely amazing and tugged at my heart in all the good ways, you beauty. So glad you like my writing tyty <3 Apologies for the wait btw :] I might have meddled with the idea a bit depending on the turtle but I hope this is the kind of thing you were hoping for! May even make a part 2 continuation because there was just so much to write, this was really a lot of fun so thank you again :P I let fate decide which version to base this on and we got Bayverse!

Rejection, Realisation, and Regret

Warnings: bad language, grovelling turtles for their idiocy, angst with this in mind, oh these boys are some real idiots

Bay Turtles x Reader

Leonardo

Turns you down as gently as he can but it still feels like a sucker punch to the gut. It may sound calloused but he's a ninja, a mutant, a protector before anything else and that includes being someone's boyfriend. With a constructive discussion on the matter, he can only hope that you understand his position. You assured him that you did.

So, then, how is it that he barely gets a conversation in with you these days? And why does that fact burn a hole in his stomach? This pit, although metaphorical, weighs down heavily on him. Assumably, he’s missing one-on-one with a friend until it truly occurs to him just what exactly is going on. There's a lesson to be learned here, he's sure - a saying that goes around as if taken from an ancient script: you don't realise how good you have it until it's gone. You're not gone perse but you make a point of avoiding him individually. As well-mannered as you try to be, he's noticed and he's noticed the hurt in his belly that comes alongside it.

He thought things were okay, that despite the rejection, you would still be able to comfortably continue your friendship without any issues. It seems he managed even to fool himself. Being so caught up in what it means to be one of New York's self-acclaimed protectors, he was completely absentminded to the feelings that had been bubbling up inside him all along. No wonder he's been losing focus on his training as of late. He has attempted to try and talk to you about it but to no avail. Has your heart really been that broken?

For once, he doesn’t know what to do, or what decision should be made. He’s stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. Who's the one person he can turn to at a time like this? Come on. Who else would it be?

"Sensei, you know better than anyone that our position comes with complications. That we as ninjas are sworn to certain oaths.” 

"Yes, the duty of yourself and your brothers is indeed a heavy burden. Responsibility comes with risk and consequence as I am sure you are well aware of by now.” Splinter watches his son bow down as he thoughtfully strokes his beard.  "However, sensei, rat, master; alongside all of these things, I am foremost a father who wishes to see his sons be happy. You're in love, are you not?"

Leo’s attention quickly turns up from the floor to his master. How had he figured it out? Must be that parental instinct. Either way, he’s thankful for that in some respect. It makes this easier. Less complicated. 

The turtle nods and breathes out, "I am, Sensei."

"That's what I thought." His father lays a hand over Leo’s shoulder before it taps him against the side of his head. "Now, what are you waiting for? Talking to me isn't going to change the situation."

Splinter is right. It's high time for him to get out of his funk and strategise the best way to make amends. He can only hope he isn’t too late. 

Raphael

Rejects you thinking it was some sick prank curated by his youngest brother or something. There's no way you have a thing for him. He's a mutant and you're a human. How could someone actually be in love with a freak like himself? That's why he blows up in your face when you attempt to pour your heart out to him. Whatever joke you thought would be funny, isn't. 

He may have taken things out of proportion. This much is made obvious enough by the poorly thought-out excuses you make just to avoid being alone with him. Yeah, that's right, he thinks. You should feel ashamed for trying to pull a stupid stunt like that, for trying to mess with him. He's standing firm on his self-assurance. Don't think for a second that he's going to lose sleep over what he said that day.

However, life has a very funny way of playing its own game. It all comes to fruition when you're laughing with the leader of the brothers. When your hand landed on his forearm, Raphael was struck with something fierce. The shot of jealousy to his heart almost takes him for a wild spin but he disregards it for typical Leo/Raph rivalry. Until that night, anyway. This man is tossing and turning in bed, ruminating on that sickly feeling in his chest; losing sleep over it. No. Surely not. He isn't in love with you. This isn't something that's been in the making for however long now. So what if you managed to calm him down quicker than anyone else he's ever known? Big whoop if you used to make a point of checking up on him when no one dared to go near him. It’s no big deal that you’d hype him up and cheer him on before each mission. 

Fuck. He's been in love with you this whole time, hasn't he? Oh, you have got to be kidding. This was probably the only chance he had at something close to normal in his life and he trampled over it like it was nothing. That's assuming it was even genuinely meant from your end to begin with. He still has his doubts all things considered. Either way, he can’t just sit in bed and wallow in his head all night. He needs some air. 

"What crawled up your shell and died?"

Great. He had hoped to get some peace and quiet. Not that this city knows the definition of either word but that isn’t the point. 

"Not now, Jones. I ain't in the mood."

Casey's head rolls against his shoulders and he sighs, "Hey, if this is to do with (Y/n) ignoring you, what do you expect? 'Can't just make someone cry and expect things to be okay after without an apology."

Raph's mask slowly descends and hoods over his eyes, those of which are now staring down the detective.

"Oh, shit. You didn't know?"

No. No, he did not. He really made you cry? Why would you-? Ah. Two things smack him up the head at this moment: you meant every word of what you admitted a month ago and he is an absolute asshole. Despite already living in the sewers, he feels like the scum of the Earth.

That's it. No more holding back. No more being chicken. He might have ruined his chance but he can at least try and make things right by you.

Donatello

Aloof. Absolutely aloof and utterly clueless to the fact that you were even trying to admit your feelings for him. Yet, the way that the whole situation plays out makes it seem as though he had denied you. His head is usually stuck in a book or on one of the many screens that litter his quarters. What can you really expect of him? Unfortunately, this isn’t something that comes to mind nor is taken into consideration when you attempt your casual proclamation. With his eyes glued to his computer, his inattentiveness could only be read as uninterest to which you find it’s probably best to withdraw yourself. 

In the weeks to come, it still doesn't even occur to him that you were confessing. The only thing that dawns on him from your weirdly abrupt absence is how strange it feels without you around. You still engage in your regular visits to the lair but are always elusive to his corner. Had he missed a memo? He can't quite place a finger on your change in behaviour. Then he realises just how much he enjoys and misses your presence. Even just how you'd pass by his little section of the lair and do something as small as asking him what he's working on. The small details should always get their chance in the spotlight but he managed to miss them when they were right there in front of him. When you were in front of him.

Subsequent to this steady progression of fluttering heart palpitations upon the thought of you and his drying throat when he tries to speak your way, he decides to take some action. At least, that’s the plan he has in his head. You hardly look his way, so he needs to find a way to gain your attention. There must be some way. With somewhat of an idea in mind, he dials a number through his computer and lets it ring. 

The other side of the line picks up and there’s a voice. “If this has anything to do with goons, aliens or whatever trouble you guys have gotten yourselves into, I don’t want any part of it.”

“Relax, Vern. This is something that entirely requires your expertise without life endangerment. I need to ask about women,” Donnie confirms, cutting right to the chase.

There’s a pause. "What-?” Another longer pause and then an inhale. “Can't you just ask one of your brothers or something?"

Yeah, right, because his family of sewer dwellers are so well-equipped for this matter. Even asking for Vern's aid is pushing the boat a little but it's better than nothing - a baseline structure of what to expect is all he needs. The internet would probably be more reliable but it doesn’t include that vital real-world experience.

"You engage in frequent courting. By all accounts, you're the only person I know who has enough field experience to give advice."

This might be giving Vern too much credit but this is a surefire way to get what he wants. Feeding a man's ego can accomplish many things. Call it manipulation of the circumstances if you will but no harm done. 

"You know what?” There’s a brightness in his tone, an uptilted cadence in Vern’s rhetorical question. Bingo. “You being the smart one has never been more accurate, Don. Alright, I'll help you."

The notes he takes are unfathomable but he wants to make sure that everything is thought out with careful precision. That's not even taking into account that he needs to muster the courage to ask you out in the first place.

Michelangelo

One would think that this guy would be jumping with unparalleled joy to have someone confess their feelings for him but he's got eyes for someone else. April O'Neil is his one true babycake, his angel face, the first love he had ever known. He turns you down in the friendly way one would expect him to if not a little cocky. Who wouldn't want a piece of the MC Mikey? There aren’t any hard feelings though, right?

Well, no but the sting that follows is still too much for you to handle. Too much in fact that you decide it's best to recoil into a shell of your own and spend less time with the loveable terrapin. Such a shame as well considering you're missing out on your regular gaming sessions together. It probably sucks big time to be rejected but he meant no harm by it. He thought you could still hang out as you normally would. Perhaps you just needed some time. That’s what he reckoned until the days turned to weeks and those weeks to almost two months. 

He’s subjected to playing bystander when you hang out with his family, barely getting a chance to have a word with you alone. If this treatment is good for anything, it gives him a chance to spectate and watch how you interact with those around you rather than directly with him. He recognises how much he adores that sparkle in your eyes, the playfulness of your tone when you crack out jokes with his brothers, how you light up the entire lair when you make your presence known. There is this unshakable spirit within you that he somehow never noticed until a few days prior when you took the liberty of playing an incredibly bold practical joke at Casey's expense. Man, this turtle's heart sored higher than it ever has before, which is saying something considering he had to jump out of a plane once.

Well, colour him surprised. He was so sure of himself that New York's favourite journalist was the only one for him but it seems he was wrong. Oh, man. He's feeling pretty bad now. He can surely make up for what happened though, right? Hopefully. There's only one way of finding out but he has one thing he needs to do first before talking to you.

"I'm sorry, angel face. My sights have been led astray. My loyalty shouldn’t be doubted but it’s for someone else now.” 

The way Mikey is knelt down, head lowered with April’s hands in his own is a perplexing sight if not curiously amusing. His feelings and the pronounced “dibs” on the reporter have been no secret but his recent infatuation with you hasn’t been much of a secret either. Not to her anyway but she likes to think she’s good at picking up on these things. 

“Just know that you'll always have a special place in my heart,” he finishes, ending the overly dramatised display by holding a fist to his chest. 

"Considerate as always." Her expression is somewhere between humoured and endeared, fighting the shake of her head at how adorably ridiculous this turtle can be. "Thanks, Mikey."

Now that's out of the way, he can go into this with a clear head. Although, the only thing really going into this is going to be all of his heart.

[mutable-manifestation]

Actual Scientists Jack & Maddie AU Part 3

Part 1 & 2

***

The lab is empty when they get to Fenton Works, his parents busy off helping the JLD wherever it was they were working from.

The journey the rest of the way to the Far Frozen passes relatively quickly under the weight of discussing how to reverse engineer the sarcophagus of forever sleep to make Naptime Box 2: Vlad Edition.

Could they probably just beat him up with the right plan and aid? Sure. But then they risk having to play royal hot potato (Danny doesn't want it and he doubts most of the allies he has would want the extra responsibility. Assuming there are responsibilities - Danny wouldn't know since there hasn't been a king, for all intents and purposes, since well before he became a halfa so who knows what the position even means in the context of the Zone).

Plus it would be way more satisfying to shove him in a box. Vlad gets a nice long nap and Danny gets to live the rest of his half-life without worrying about his Dad getting stabbed or something if Vlad starts feeling impatient.

It would also give Danny plenty of time to find some way to buy the Packers - not because he wants them, just because it would be really funny if Vlad eventually woke up to find that the only thing he wanted other than Maddie was now also very permanently out of reach.

The city of Green Bay could fold eventually, after all. But Danny? Danny would never yield, just to spite him, and Vlad would know that.

He probably won't actually do it, seeing as a) expensive and b) probably complicated.

But it would be really funny.

Their discussion on the ethics of using the Fenton Stockades as the base for the Box cut off as they land.

Without the distraction of their chat the adrenaline of panic comes rushing back, and he transforms as he steps out of the Speeder, nyooming to hover in front of Frostbite so quickly that the entire welcoming party - Frostbite somehow manages to have one arranged every time he drops by, and Danny is usually willing to at least try and indulge them since it seems to make them happy - jolts in surprise.

"Greetings!" Frostbite smiles wide, arms open in a grand welcoming, the only hint of lingering surprise the trails of slightly puffed up fur up his arms and the sides of his neck that has already mostly smoothed itself back out. "The Far Frozen welcomes the Great One and friends-"

"Hey Frostbite sorry for being abrupt but I'm kind of freaking out and you seemed like the best person - uh, ghost to go to because you always seem to know lots of things and I kind of need to know what's going on as soon as possible just in case it's a worst case scenario because the Justice League came to talk to my parents about some papers and I probably haven't mentioned them to you before because they're awful and I thought my parents made them but surprise I was wrong! Which is good! Except the League was mostly worried about them maybe causing the new ghost king to war with the human realm because apparently there's a supernatural branch of the Justice League and they think there's a new Ghost KingTM as in the Ghost King after Pariah Dark and I'm kind of freaking out because if there is a new ghost king there's actually a chance it's Vlad and oh ancients please tell me it's not Vlad or that the League heard wrong please."

Sam and Tucker had caught up by then, coming to stand on either side of him as Frostbite blinked.

"You are...asking me the identity of the current High King?" He asks, face scrunched in a bewildered expression.

"Oh my gosh Batman was right!?" He floats a bit higher at the news. "Please just tell me it's not Vlad! Uh, Plasmius."

"Plasmius?" Frostbite asks, eyebrows crawling higher. "Certainly not! What in the realms - do you truly not know?"

"Oh thank goodness," Danny sighs, sinking back to his usual level. "Not Vlad, okay, one less disastrous possibility. And whoever it is probably already knows they're the king and nothing bad has happened yet so it's probably fine, right?"

He looks back to meet Frostbite's eyes.

"Wait, nothing bad has happened yet, right? Like, is everything okay? I know Pariah caused you guys a lot of grief before; the new guy 's not going around causing trouble for you and you just haven't told me because you're worried about being a bother, right?" He frets, eyes flicking about, searching for fresh injuries on the various members of the welcoming party.

"...No, Great One," Frostbite answers, blinking away the surprised expression to be replaced by something soft. "Though I, and all the Far Frozen, are honored by your concern. While Pariah Dark is no longer the High King of the Infinite Realms, I can assure you, with utmost certainty, that you have nothing to fear from his successor. But I believe we have much more to discuss. Come, let us find somewhere more comfortable to talk - and get your human friends out of the cold."

***

It didn't take them long to reach a sitting room, and soon enough they were all settled into the enormous, fuzzy chairs in one of the warmer rooms available, Danny and Frostbite each with a cup of shaved ice tea while Sam and Tucker were offered beverages warm enough to steam in deference to their need for warmth.

Once everyone had taken a sip - or bite - Danny launched back into his questioning.

"So did Dark have a kid hidden away somewhere or did some kind of council finally decide on his replacement? Actually can ghosts even have - wait right Box Lunch, forgot about that on purpose but never mind. Or is there some fourth option that isn't those or trial by combat that we didn't think of?"

"Before I answer that, Great One, may I ask why you have already discounted trial by combat?" He returns curiously.

"Because if it was trial by combat it would be Vlad - er, Plasmius - and you already said it isn't him."

"Or it could be you," Tucker ribs, waggling his fingers at him.

"We already talked about why it couldn't be me, Tuck," Danny huffs, rolling his eyes and taking another bite of his... smoothie?

"Oh? And why do you think it would be Plasmius?" Frostbite asks.

"Because! I may have fought Pariah Dark, and sure I put him back in the sarcophagus, but I was running on fumes by that point, and he was still slamming around in there! Vlad, as much as I hate to admit it, is the one that turned the key and made sure he stayed locked away. It took almost everything I had to keep him pinned long enough. If...if he'd been even a few seconds later I probably would've died the rest of the way before he even had the time to break out a second time."

"But had you not put him there, no key would have mattered," Frostbite begins quietly. "Plasmius was no match for Pariah Dark; he was defeated in an instant the first time they clashed."

"Well, yeah, but so was I," he protests, not liking the direction the conversation is beginning to take.

"And yet, you alone went to face him a second time. You alone stood against the King of All Ghosts while your armies clashed."

"Our-!? I didn't have- you mean the ghosts that came to help me???" Danny sputtered, incredulous. "They weren't an army they were just-"

He pauses, searching for words that would not come.

"They were just a large group of ghosts who sided with you, who aided you in combat and kept the multitudes distracted while you went to face their leader alone. However you thought of them at the time, whatever they were to you up till then or are to you now, after, in that moment they were your army."

"Danny's totally the ghost king, isn't he?" Sam drawls after the brief silence that follows.

"Indeed," Frostbite answers her, but he looks Danny in the eyes as he does so. "You are the savior of the Ghost Zone, Pariah's Bane. And you are the High King of the Infinite Realms."

"I cheated!" Danny blurts out, shooting up to float above his chair.

"Cheated?" Frostbite's lips twitch as he fights down a smile.

"I had the Fenton Ecto-Skeleton! That's totally cheating! Don't combat trials have to be honorable or something?!" He begs.

Frostbite chuckles.

"I apologize, Great One, but I am afraid there is no such thing as an honorable war," he says, expression briefly turning solemn. "And even if it were, just as you had your "Ecto-Skeleton," did not Pariah have his ring and crown?

You issued a challenge and he answered, your armies clashed while the two of you stood against each other and each other alone; you alone put him back into the Sarcophagus of Forever Sleep, and you alone held it shut long enough for Plasmius to turn the key.”

Danny drifts back down to his seat as Frostbite speaks, then continues slouching further with every word.

“I am given to understand that Plasmius likes to think of others as pawns on his own personal chessboard,” he says, “But at the time he was but another ghost, come to fight Pariah's army on your behalf - as a member of your army. A pawn, to paraphrase his own words, that you used to topple a king - not through any intentional manipulation, but through the sheer magnetic charisma of your willingness to stand against monsters like Pariah Dark and of your ability to do so. The confidence to stand alongside you that such strength inspires. 

He would not have approached if he did not believe you could win - would not risk endangering himself so. At best, you could consider him a referee, calling the match to a close once it was decisively in your favor.

Plasmius may think of existence as a game with himself as the only player, and he may have been acting in his own self-interest overall, but by every measure, in this instance, he was undeniably your piece.

The Zone itself acknowledges your right to rule by the way the crown of fire sits where you left it, unmoving on the floor of Pariah's keep until the day you finally choose to wear it, no matter how many hands may try to move it."

Frostbite's words are slow and measured, but as undeniable as the creeping of a glacier. And by the time they cease, Danny has sunk so far as to end up an undignified heap on the floor before his chair.

The trio remains silent as they absorb his words.

Minutes pass before Danny finally speaks.

"If the crown can't be taken, then how did I get it from Pariah?" He questions, a final hope that Frostbite may be mistaken.

"It will only remain unmoved until you first put it on. After that, it will be up to you whether it stays safe on your head."

Danny groans his despair, final bit of hope shattered.

"I must apologize again, Great One," he says solemnly. "Had I known you were unaware of your station, I would have informed you sooner."

He frowns heavily, looking into the distance thoughtfully.

"The Observants should have informed you long before now."

"Well, that explains it. The Observants hate Danny's guts," Tucker says.

"To neglect their duties for such a reason...," He trails off, his glower highlighting the inhuman nature of his visage. 

The trio fidget.

Danny coughs after a few seconds of tense silence.

“Uh, speaking of duties,” he begins, relaxing as Frostbite’s expression smooths back into something kind and polite as he listens, “What exactly does the Ghost King even do? Like. Pariah was locked away for… a long time? I guess. So does the Zone even need a King? Can’t I just, like, resign?”

“I suppose it might seem that way from a younger ghost’s perspective - Pariah has been locked away for millenia, after all, and the Zone is still in one piece.” 

Frostbite pauses, leaning back in his seat and taking another bite of his drink. 

“However. What you must understand, Great One, is that the problems caused by the absence of a king in the Infinite Realms are not the whirlwind that such a thing would be in the living realm - social order is affected, but the speed of bureaucracy is slower by orders of magnitude in the Realms, and there is not the same level of inter-reliance that the living tend to require - but rather, they are winds and waters sliding against a rock, chipping away at it bit by bit until it is either worn smooth… or the whole structure collapses under its own weight.”

“How does not having a king cause dimensional collapse!?” Tucker shrieks, clutching his cup like a lifeline.

“How long do we have before it collapses?” Sam asks urgently not a second later.

“Oh shit, how long do we have before it collapses???” he echoes, hunching over his cup enough that the steam adds a layer of fog to his glasses.

Danny sits bolt upright, whipping wide eyes away from his friends to join them in staring at Frostbite.

“Total collapse would take millenia more to truly begin,” he placates before taking a more grave expression. “This does not mean that there will not be issues before that point, however; the symptoms of the High King’s absence have begun to show this past millennium. But rest assured, there is time enough to heal the wounds that have been wrought. The only permanent damage would be the collapse itself, and that, as I said, is millenia away.”

“Is… is that why you never mentioned it to me before?” Danny asks, dropping back to the ground in relief. “Because it’s not urgent and you figured I’d just…get to it eventually? Actually, why did you think I knew if you knew that the crown was still in Pariah’s Keep?”

“It is the duty of the Observants to observe, but also, as you have experienced, to oversee - the timeline, trials, the general functioning of the zone. Without a king to report to, much of their ability to act is crippled, of course - their ability to interfere directly with the timeline has always been severely restricted, their options for sentencing are severely reduced, and there are some things the Realms require that only the High King can provide - but one duty remains unaffected: overseeing the ascension of new kings. 

Coronations have taken many forms in the past, from a quick swap in the battlefield to a formal ceremony to a celebration that lasted a decade. Given the dark era we are, at last, able to put behind us and the non-urgent nature of even the most severe problems that the Realms are currently affected by, I had assumed that the large delay was in preparation for that last form - the lead-up to a grand celebration.”

“Except instead it’s just them being petty,” Sam notes, sitting back up from her own relieved slouch. 

Danny groans, leaving his tea to float and covering his face with his hands.

“Why couldn’t it have just been as easy as shoving Vlad in a box,” he whines.

“I mean, we still can?” Tucker offers, prompting Sam to smack him over the head before pausing consideringly.

“OW!”

“He might be right, actually,” she says, ignoring his exclamation. “Given Vortex’s trial and sentencing, there’s clearly some kind of legal system in the Zone that isn’t just Walker on a power trip. No doubt he’s broken some kind of Actual Realms Law - I’d be surprised if breaking Pariah out like he did wasn’t some form of highly illegal - so you could probably send him to actual Ghost Jail. It’s certainly where he belongs, given all the….”

She makes a vague gesture with her hand in lieu of words.

“That doesn’t resolve the problem of I Don’t Wanna Be A King!” Danny exclaims, sitting back and throwing his hands in the air.

Then he turns to Frostbite, eyes pleading. 

“Can’t you be king?” he asks. 

Frostbite opens his mouth to reply, but Danny steamrolls over him.

“It makes sense! You already know how to lead people! And your people love you! You already know about all the king stuff too! You’ve beaten me in spars before! We’d just have to go to the keep, I put on the crown, you beat me, and problem solved!”

Frostbite’s smile is a mix of amused and pitying.

“I have only ever beaten you in training spars, Great One, and you and I both know that is largely because they were focused on improving your skill with ice and ice alone. Even if I could defeat you in a true all-out fight as you are, I believe you underestimate the boost granted by the crown of fire.”

“I can just put it on then take it off again before we fight! And we can stick to ice!”

“I’m afraid it is not so simple,” he shakes his head. “If you do not give it your all, the crown - the Realms - will not recognize the transition. The only way to “throw the match” successfully would require your opponent to fully End you: to crush your core and snuff your spirit from the very fabric of existence. I am unwilling to do such a thing, and I sincerely hope you would not ask it of me - or, indeed, of anyone.”

Danny paled enough that he nearly matched his human form in skin tone.

“Right. Let’s… let’s not do that, actually.”

“On the bright side, you can probably weasel ruling tips out of Aquaman in exchange for not declaring war on the Living Realm!” Tucker chirps, aiming to cheer him up.

“I’m not going to threaten the Justice League!” he yelps, scandalized.

“But you probably won’t have to threaten them,” Sam chimes in. “They’re already trying to summon you, you already know their goal is to avoid a war. As long as you don’t ask for anything unreasonable, they should be inclined to give you what you want in exchange for peace.”

“Once you offer peace, they will be invested in your successful rule of their own volition as a means of perpetuating said peace,” Frostbite corrects. “If you would like to set preconditions to an accord you should make them things that will not readily be given as a result of said accord. But before we discuss further, perhaps you can fill me in on why war was a concern in the first place? I believe you mentioned something about papers?”

[lucysarah-c]

I apologize if this has been asked before but what do you think Levi's kinks are? :)

Hi, sweetie! Oh, do not worry, no need to apologize! I haven’t received this ask before, and even if I did, it’s not a biggie. I could just attach a link to that ask here <3 Do not worry.

MH, Levi’s kinks… good question.

Power play for sure. Have you seen this man say that “pain is the best discipline”? He's always 100% down to teach you your place, at least in the bedroom. Outside of it, he deeply respects your position. Inside the room? Oh baby girl, he wants you to know he’s in charge and could spend his entire life reminding you of it.

…Shibari or tying up. Have you seen those uniforms? Levi sees that harness and deep down he wonders how pretty you would look all tied up. This one is a bit more tricky, so he and you may work around it to see how much of it you're both into.

Overstimulation, absolutely. Those Ackerman powers are a blessing; he knows he can last for hours. Can you? Oh, it's okay, baby, don’t be scared. He'll just have to keep fucking you, and if by any means you end up feeling like your legs are made of jelly from all the times he made you cum… well, I guess that’s the consequence of dating humanity’s strongest soldier. I think he could just feel getting hard, or getting cocky by feeling how you shake against his face as he keeps eating you out like a thirsty man who had been traveling across a desert. The idea that he left you completely and absolutely destroyed makes him feel so cocky. You can accuse this man of many things, but leaving you unsatisfied in bed isn’t one of them.

Degradation and praise kink. Depending on the situation and his mood, he can go either way or BOTH at the same time. “Aw, you look so pretty riding my cock. You’re doing amazing, girly. Mh? Enjoy that dick?” you will nod as you ride him with all your life “I bet. What a dirty little cock whore you turned out to be.”

Alright, maybe this one isn’t popular and maybe it's a bit OOC on my part… Corruption kink. At multiple times in his life, as the famous former thug who lived in the most dangerous part inside the walls, the idea of getting you, looking at him with doe eyes through your eyelashes, faking innocence or truly having it… I can literally picture him thinking, “Doesn’t matter if she doesn’t have much experience or doesn’t know how to make me feel good yet. I’m a very good and patient teacher… have an entire lifetime to mold her into perfection.” He likes to save the best for last; this man would enjoy every single little detail of seeing you fall into the beautiful dark pleasure he can show you.

Those are the ones that come to mind rather quickly…

I’ll give you (as if my ramblings are worthy material to be gifted, lmao) 2 kinks that I DON’T think Levi has and I believe are very popular.

Breeding kink. Like this one, maybe depending on the situation and if it’s a “game” kind of thing. But I feel Levi is a person who takes paternity very seriously; it has to be a VERY particular scenario for me (at least canon Levi) where he’s like, “fuck it, yeah let’s risk getting you pregnant.” BUT it’s a kink I can see A LOT more in Post-War Levi; it’s not that he doesn’t want to breed you… he’s just too responsible to take the risk.

Daddy. HAHA I feel like if you called Levi that in the middle of sex, he would freeze a little and be like, “Sir? Yes. Captain? Absolutely. What did you just say? Just… no.” I dare to say that if you bring it up playfully, perhaps as a joke, he will wrinkle his nose and say, “If you want to fuck Erwin, just say it, but don’t bring that shit into my bedroom.”

I had fun writing this one; I feel it’s a classic “Levi’s blog” ask that surprisingly I’ve never received before! Thank you for that! Hope this was good enough.

Have a lovely day.

Link to my masterlist and my other works if you feel like checking them out. Tags!: @nube55 @justkon @notgoodforlife @nmlkys @humanitys-strongest-bamf @quillinhand @thoreeo @darkstarlight82 @angelofthorr @aomi04 @levisbrat25 @l3visthighs @hum4n-wr3ckag3 @hannieslovebot @starrylevi @rithty @mariaace @ackrmntea @emilyyyy-08 @levisfavoriteteashop @katestrophes @levistealeaf @an-ever-angry-bi @youre-ackermine @fxnnyackerman @secretmoneybearvoid @trashblackrainbow @flxrartsstuff @katharinasdiaryy @kikarouflames @levisecretgfblog @searriously @blackdxggr @ackermanswifee @abiatackerman @braunsbabe @moonchild-angel @storiesofsung @galactict3a @twruui @lemonsupernova @r3becca_0 @heyitsd1yaa @sydneyyuu @hyuckwon-my-husbands Wanna join my tag list? Here!

[strawberrystepmom]

cw body image discussion. self ship coded. f!reader is feeling insecure and gojo is there to help work through the blues. he's mildly possessive and reader is really down on themselves. reader and gojo are in a semi established relationship (aka idiots in love). wc 1.6k

divider thanks to @/cafekitsune as always

The third time you pull a blouse over your head with a huff and toss it to the ground below your feet is when Satoru finally realizes that something is not right with you today. 

It wasn’t the instant frown upon waking up that alerted him, in fact that’s kind of just normal so he ignored it, but he has noticed you’ve been wound tight from the moment your eyes have opened. Your shoulders are hunched, he’s worried you’re going to give yourself a headache with all that scowling, your coffee sits on the nightstand getting cold while you glare at your reflection in the full length mirror against the wall.

Flipping onto his stomach and stretching horizontally across your bed, he appraises you where you stand. Even grouchier than usual, you’re dazzling. You’re wearing nothing but your least sexy nude colored bra and high waisted black trousers, bare feet stomping across the wooden floor as you rush back and forth from the closet back to the mirror.

He knows what’s happening and that he has never quite been good at stopping it but he wants to try, if only to make you smile at his failed attempt at comfort. You know him well enough to know that there’s meaning beneath his flippant words and veneer, something that saves him from a lot of trouble on any given day.

“Princess?”

His little nickname captures your attention and you shift from glancing in the mirror to him for just a moment, eyes narrowing slightly when you take in his relaxed posture. It must be nice to be him - ever the bored boy king watching the rest of us mortals folly. Raising your brows, you fold your arms over your chest defensively and stare at him.

He knows this defensive position better than anyone ever could. You’re internally wounding yourself and curling into your own torso, covering where it hurts the worst with your arms. Your heart breaks and he can see it on your face, eyes still narrowed and shoulders rounded forward. Trying to make yourself smaller, broken into pieces, something you feel will make you more palatable.

He hates it but he knows you don’t do it on purpose. You spend a lot of your time lifting others up and it’s easy to forget yourself in the fray. He sees it as his responsibility to step for you when you can’t do it for yourself and he cannot imagine allowing anyone else to ever do so.

He’s yours, in name, in body, in heart, and it’s his job to remind you of how perfect you are even when you forget. 

“C’mere,” he wags his head, motioning for you to join him on the bed while he pats the spot next to him. You sniff unenthusiastically and shuffle to the side of the bed, sitting and letting your legs hang off the edge of it. You don’t want to join him in his all too comfortable state but you realize quickly you are going to be left with no choice when he sets his head on your thigh and wraps his arms around your waist.

You feel yourself soften when you look down at him, all white lashes and big eyes and hair over his forehead as boyish as you remember it being when you were 16 and he was 17 and he laid his head in your lap just like this. It feels like a lifetime ago, years and tears that have passed, but part of you even knew then that it would end up just like this for the two of you despite the constant denial of those feelings. 

Even still, you deny his affection for you out of some strange attempt to hurt yourself rather than him. It makes no sense and you sigh. How anyone puts up with you is truly a mystery yet here the one person who puts up with you the most sits, cloudless sky eyes searching you for answers. He foolishly believes he may yet solve you someday.

Unfolding your arms, you reach out and pet the strands away from his face. Remembering you’re supposed to be having a fit, you frown and he smiles up at you. It feels like the sun moving in from around a cloud and you chuckle.

“You gonna make it?” He asks and you know what he means. 

What do you need from me? How can I make this better?

If asked, he’d swear you’re the only one who actually listens to what he’s saying instead of picking out what you want to hear. If someone were to ask you, you think you’d say the same about him. Nobody understands you the way he does, a fact you used to resent but now welcome with open arms. Isn’t the core of being loved just being understood at the end of the day?

You think for a moment before flopping backward on the bed, his head still in your lap and his arms still looped around your waist. Satoru shifts slightly, pulling one arm out from under you and using it to gently pet your cheek. 

“Probably not,” you finally respond and he looks across your body at your face and smiles, shaking his head and rubbing his freshly shaven cheek over your pants.

“I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m the butt of every joke,” you lament, gaze shifting directly to the ceiling to keep from looking at him while your eyes mist over with tears. Speaking the things you think about yourself only makes them feel more true but he doesn’t let you lament for long, unlooping his other arm from your waist and grabbing your hand.

He sits up and you look up at him. He looms the way a god does and he looks just like one, something that makes you rush to try and cover yourself up. It’s a pity he wastes his time with you, meant for something far better than hanging out with you. You feel a tear slide down your cheek and sniff, covering your face with your forearm.

“None of that is true and you know it.”

He remains hovering over you, backlit by the sunlight in your bedroom, but you refuse to look directly at him and settle for gazing through the tiniest crack in your vision that your forearm isn’t covering. 

“Everyone loves you so much it makes me feel jealous sometimes.”

Despite your sadness, you giggle. He’s so funny sometimes that you wonder if it’s intentional or not.

“There’s no reason to. People are just being nice.”

He scoffs and before you can blink, he’s on his knees and sliding his oversized form across the bed. Straddling your hips, settling either of his thighs on the side of yours, you groan and let your arm flop at your side. He isn’t putting his full weight on you but you sniff and make a face anyway. You’re still only partially dressed and he licks his lips at the sight, soft skin warmed by sunlight.

“Do you know how many threats I’ve had to make to keep people away from you?”

Shaking your head, hair dragging across the blanket beneath your body, you wonder if he means it. He has alluded to this exact scenario many times in jest but you always assumed it was just that - a joke. A little chuckle shared between the two of you.

“I’m not joking,” he replies seriously, eyes giving him away. “You’re not just liked you’re desired, pretty girl.”

Your cheeks heat and your belly stirs despite how the rest of you feels. Shifting your head so that you’re no longer looking at him, he reaches down and cups your cheek with the same gentleness he always does but guides your face back in his direction. His thumb caresses the soft round and you bite back another smile.

“I’ll keep doing it, too,” he mutters with a grin and a nod and you raise your brows. You don’t really care that other people desire you, knowing that the issue with how you feel lies solely within your own heart, but it’s nothing less than sexy that he insists on throwing his weight around in his longstanding mission to make you love him as much as he loves you.

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers and you smile, leaning into his touch despite all of your previous attempts to shrug it off. “The smartest person I know, brave, dependable…”

He trails off and leans over you, stopping himself with his forearm on the bed and kisses your forehead. 

“I could go on forever but I don’t want to make you later than you’re already going to be after four outfit changes,” he offers and you laugh. A real one. The kind of laugh that makes a big smile stretch across your face and he places his thumb in the divot of your dimple as you do.

“You’re right.”

He beams, pressing his thumb so deeply you feel the inside of your cheek against your teeth. 

“Obviously.”

The rebuttal only makes you laugh harder and you kick your legs out beneath him, trying to shove him off of you.

“Get off, I’m gonna be late,” you warn and now he plants some of his weight over your hips, both big hands cupping your face as he repeatedly dots your face and cheeks with kisses.

“Nope, I’m gonna make you even more late and you’re just gonna have to live with it.”

And live with it you will as his lips travel from the round of your cheek and tip of your nose to your own lips, tongue brushing against the seam insistently.

[andhumanslovedstories]

Hi dear. I saw your post about pain management - thank you so much for it, it was an inspiring read, also it made it so obvious that you are truly passionate about being a nurse or rather, helping people and being present for those who need it the most. I wanted to ask - do you feel your job as a nurse affects the care you give in your interpersonal relationships and if yes, then how? rather negatively or positively? this is something I think about a lot bc my husband would love to study to become a nurse because he has a heart full of love and care, I knew he would be so good at it, but we are also having our firstborn soon and I just worry that being a nurse might be so draining that what if there is no energy for me and the baby. I really want to support my husband and I know this might be a silly question, but having read how you think I would so much love to hear your thoughts on this topic!

My big disclaimer for this is that I'm currently on medical leave for depression that wasn't CAUSED by my work but was definitely exacerbated by it and definitely worse when I was on shift. I've also been dealing with depression for a long time, and it's always interfered with my jobs at some point. The main problem is that it's a lot worse to have brain fog at a hospital than it is at an ice cream shop. I consider nursing to be a protective factor for my mental health SOMETIMES. It is work that I find meaning in and makes me proud. It can be an exhausting job but also a rewarding one. Extra compassion is also a double-edged sword: it can make you a better nurse, and it can also drain you that much faster because you get invested. Self-care is a part of the nursing code of ethics because the job in part because compassion fatigue is so easy to get if you aren't careful with your limits.

It is a draining job. I've begged off lot of things due to my schedule and feeling exhausted (but I am a homebody hermit). It's also a job a lot of people balance with raising children. My mom (who was already a nurse when I was born) liked the flexibility of the schedule. I work with dozens of nurses who have children. Many are mothers who are still breastfeeding infants. Some actively participate in their family life, some don't, and I don't know how much that has to do with their specific job. You know your husband. Does he already struggle to balance work/school/responsibilities and personal life? That's an issue with any career, but I do think healthcare is a profession where it can get even harder.

oops another nursing essay under the cut

(Plus, in terms of timing in with your newborn, congrats btw, your husband will have to go through nursing school first if he decides on this track, and minimum that will take like 15 months if he has all the pre-reqs and gets into an accelerated program. When it comes to dealing with a newborn, schooling might be more of a stumbling block than the job itself. I know a lot of people who consider nursing school to be one of the worst times of their lives. He might be able to do LPN [licensed practical nurse] instead of RN [registered nurse]. RN requires a bachelors and has a larger scope of practice and generally higher pay. I know almost nothing about getting your LPN license so he'll have to investigate that himself. I'll say the hospital systems that I've been in not only prefer RNs but often have requirements that people without a certain amount of experience MUST get their bachelors after X amount of time.)

I would also say not all nursing jobs are created equal in terms of labor, emotional and otherwise. My first job was in home health which got me somewhat emotionally enmeshed with the family I primarily worked with, but it also wasn't emotionally distressing. Nurses on our oncology floors and the ICU have a different experience than nurses who work in elective short-stay surgery. And different people find different things draining. I find working with end-of-life patients to be energizing in my work; a lot of people don't. My aunt worked pediatrics because she found working with children must less distressing than working with a geriatric population. Some people thrive in the chaos and speed of the emergency room, while I find it to be a tremendously depressing place that I hate floating to.

I think you'd have to ask my loved ones if really if it affects how much I care for them. Speaking personally for myself: I think it is overall positive for my relationships. I like the rhythm of nursing, I like the philosophy of nursing, I like who nursing makes me be. I like that nursing work is impossible to bring home. You can bring the emotions home, but you leave the patients at the hospital. It's simple for a bedside nurse to keep a strong division between their work self and their home self, but it's not necessarily easy. And again, I'm off work right now and probably will be for a bit longer so. yknow. He should make sure he's got a good support system in place.

Also some states and cities are far, far better than others when it comes to nursing regulations. Are there legally mandated staff ratios where you work? How many hospitals are in the area? Are any of them union? What does the compensation look like? What is the turnover rate? Nursing could be a great profession in general, but it might not be great in your particular location.

My last point would be that working in healthcare can make you feel...disconnected, I guess, from people who don't. Healthcare is such a culture unto itself. Sometimes I'd be like that meme of guy at party hanging out in the corner thinking, "they don't know yesterday I took care of a patient in a situation so fucked and depressing that it's now an ethics case." Or on the other hand, "they don't know that a patient called me their guardian angel and cried while they thanked me." The fact that healthcare is a different world is neither a pro nor a con, but something to consider. Depending on how you spend your days, his life might start to have parts that look very different from yours. I loved having a nurse as a mother and listening to her stories. My father banned all anecdotes involving poop and gore from his presence.

I hope you and your husband figure out the best way possible for him to use that compassion, which might be nursing or might not be. Either way, good luck to you guys!

[saintsenara]

I feel like in the Sirius/Severus fic I’ve come across the roles often tend to be quite gendered with Sirius either being jocky dom or service top vibes paired with a subby Snape who’s either cock hungry or somehow fragile or a bossy power bottom y Snape. Or the opposite with Snape as dominant and Sirius submissive, usually those ones lean quite into BDSM power exchange element or like caretaker/pet vibes. I’ve enjoyed both and also the rare few I’ve seen where they aren’t written so gendered and both enjoy a range of roles both literally position wise and power dynamic wise.

Wondering what your take is on the dynamic that best fits them in your mind? Obviously the inherent power struggle between them in canon lends itself to power dynamics being part of their chemistry but I can’t decide where I fall on thinking which side of the dynamic they each best fit, or if one where they switch is more in character

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

i don't have a fixed preference for the sexual dynamics in the snack i read - and i've definitely noticed the vibes you mention - but how sirius and snape would act in the bedroom is a question i've had to ponder quite a lot recently, since i'm writing some snack - the war of the roses - myself...

generally, i don't go in for a strict top/bottom division - so when it comes to who's putting what where, my view is that they'll switch.

when it comes to the power dynamic between the two, and the emotional response the two have to sex, i have more to say...

i generally see snape as somebody who's inclined to consider themselves to be inferior to their partner - and, as his canonical power dynamic with both dumbledore and voldemort attests, to think of himself as someone whose role is to serve - but not as someone who is submissive.

by which i mean, i think that snape would view his position in the dynamic as one of supplication, worship, offering, service. and so on. but that this would come without the consensual surrendering of control which defines a classic dom/sub relationship - and also without the consensual surrendering to being cared for which defines a caretaker/pet dynamic. snape canonically prizes his ability to deal with things on his own. i don't think he's someone who wants to be looked after.

what he does want, instead, is to be acknowledged by his partner as unworthy [a sinner who can never atone for what he has done] and yet loved anyway.

but - of course - this desire lurks behind a layer of self-loathing as thick as the earth's crust. and so i do think - at first - snape would be likely to give the impression that he was inclined to be standoffish - and, indeed, cruel - in bed. no negotiation, no aftercare, no acknowledgement that sirius is also involved... just a mess all around.

sirius, too, is someone who i think positions themselves as the worshipper in a god/worshipper dynamic. i particularly think this because i believe that unrequited prongsfoot is canon - sirius' devotion to james, especially after james' death, is quasi-religious. he too thinks of himself as a sinner unable to atone for his sins [as he tells harry in prisoner of azkaban, he thinks of himself as directly responsible for james' death], unworthy of being truly loved.

sirius' self-loathing canonically comes with a willingness to suffer. so, when snape lashes out... he's going to end up taking it.

that they're narrative mirrors is why i love snack as a pairing - and i like the way that this can be taken in any direction when it comes to the sexual dynamic between the two. egregious cruelty in an attempt to drive the other person away which gradually gives way to something tender, allowing each "worshipper" to realise that the other sees him as the "god"? sign me up.

the question i'd like to see more snack authors wrestle with, though? how much experience the two have.

i'll confess now that i never vibe with the characterisation of sirius - whatever his orientation is written as being - which portrays him as sexually [and romantically - i don't think the man's ever been on a real date either] experienced prior to going to azkaban.

this is almost entirely because of the unrequited prongsfoot thing - sirius strikes me as the sort of person who would endure his love for james in solemn silence, rather than seeing other people in an attempt to get over him - but i also think that, as much as i love the common fanon that the wizarding world is a queer utopia, it's going to be because someone from sirius' background would have a lot of extremely thorny feelings about being interested in men.

[including the fear that james would detest him for his sexuality. something i've done in the war of the roses is write james as someone who isn't a bigot, per se, but who - like many teenage boys - nonetheless assumes that his best mate is heterosexual, only discusses sex and sexuality with him with this assumption in mind, and makes plenty of casually homophobic remarks (stereotypes about behaviour or hobbies or appearance, etc.) which he never realises terrify sirius. if sirius ever came out to him, james would - of course - be nothing short of accepting. but sirius never feels confident enough to find this out.]

snape, too, was undoubtedly raised in a homophobic family - and he is canonically subjected to bullying which has a homophobic undertone - but he's someone who i imagine would embrace his queerness as a sort of "fuck you" to the world.

[not least because the masculinity of many of the death eaters - and voldemort's masculinity in particular, especially since, in snape's story, he serves a parallel role to dumbledore - is reasonably non-normative. voldemort is extremely easy to read as queer - and lucius malfoy's relationship with snape can also be read as having some sort of homoerotic undertone.]

snape is someone who - unlike sirius - has the opportunity to explore his sexuality after 1981 [even with the shadow of the aids crisis - which provides a really interesting context through which to examine snape's attitude to sexuality, pleasure, nihilism, and death], and so i really like mixing the idea that snape is the more experienced of the two in with the supplicatory dynamic described above.

[deerspherestudios]

Hey! I hope you have a good day without any problems and worries! 💕💕💕 I recently took a test on the language of love and thought about Mychael. What is his love language? (my style of love is touching, so he wouldn't be able to escape from my embrace HAHA)

Aww I love talking about the 5 love languages!! This is such a sweet ask <3 This is assuming MC and Mychael have been friends/lovers for a while; here we go!

•┈••♡❤ Mychael's Love Language(s) ❤♡••┈•

When you're on the receiving end; Offering Gifts 🎁💖

He's never had anyone be around as long as you have; he's kinda new to the gifting thing but does so with a lot of enthusiasm!!

Whether it's something he made or found, knowing he chose it for you is what makes it soso special.

He just loves the idea of being able to give something that was a part of himself and insert it into your life if that makes sense.

He also loves doing it because he believes you deserve to have nice things with all his heart :-)!

If he's not sure what to gift you he'd rely on pretty little knickknacks he thinks you'd like but still be on the safe side; flowers, jewelry, decorations and accessories.

But if he does figure out your interests he'd do his best to accommodate! Books, toys, tools and clothes... he has his means of getting stuff he can't make himself.

The idea of you keeping his gifts as a sign of friendship/love makes him really happy!!

Lowkey if he sees you using/wearing/displaying a gift he gave in the past he'd be purring non-stop.

When he's on the receiving end; Words of Affirmation 💬💕

We know how he feels about his physical appearance so this is a no-brainer. His self-esteem isn't the best :'-)

Being alone/isolated as he is, he might confuse physical affection but nothing is more clear to him than words straight from your mouth how much you mean to him <3

At first he wonders if you truly mean what you say when you talk so positively about him, but then he slowly starts to believe it.

Do not underestimate the impact of one (1) compliment as simple as "You look good today, Mychael." He'd remember it for at least a week.

It's a bit of a guessing game to figure out what gets him the best. If you praise his skill at something his response would be, "Oh I guess I got good at it. Thanks, firefly :-)" but if you praise his looks and mannerisms you've hit the jackpot.

Blushing, stuttering, avoiding your gaze level of embarrassment.

If you're really close friends or basically dating, he will absolutely ask for your opinion on how you feel about him from time to time, just to get reassurance from you.

Overall nothing gets him better than just hearing positive remarks from a loving source aka you :-) <3

[writingoddess1125]

First of all I wanna say I hope both sides of ur pillow are cold at night, your charger works at every angle and you never stub your toe 🛐🛐🛐💞💌💌🥺🥺 Idk if you take requests, apologies of you don't, but I would like to ask if you would make one of those NSFW Alphabets with Shanks? Thank you for getting me through this week with your fics 🙏🏻 I have become a Mihawk girlie now too because of your work 😩

I'm so glad you you love the fics!! And thank you for the kindness towards me you are truly a Saint to wish for my pillow to be cold 🙏

Welcome to the Mihawk club BTW ;3

But I Gotcha Darling!

N$FW Alphabet:

Shanks Edition!

A= Aftercare (what they’re like after the act)

Very loving, he is kind and has a strong sense of responsibility for his S/O. He will clean them up, get them anything they need and cuddles too.

B= Body part (favorite body part their own or their lovers)

Truthfully he loves his hair, it's a odd relationship since its such a unique feature of his so it draws too much attention. But also loves it since it's a heavy part of his identity.

Their back weirdly enough, the curve of their form and dip of their hips. He will guide his fingertips down their back and admire it.

C= Cum (anything that has to do with it)

Shanks can be a bit messy, he will cum on the nearest surface of skin of his S/O. But his favorite is inside-

D= Dirty secret (Pretty self explanatory)

He and Buggy used to have a physical thing for a while. It was more experimental and gave him creative ideas for sex, however he is very transparent with his S/O about it and open to any questions.

E= Experience (do they know what they’re doing)

This man has a open book of experiences, having done and seen a lot of things in his day! He knows every way to make someone squirm moan and more.

F= Favorite position

The Face-Off is his favorite position. Seated and with his S/O on his lap facing him while they ride him.

G= Goofy (how serious are they)

He isn't the most serious especially with intimate moments in bed. He feels like it's a moment for him to be vulnerable and open. Will giggle with them and kiss their cheeks, drawing chuckles from his S/O

H= Hair (grooming habits)

Is a bit lazy with his own grooming habits, he will occasionally give himself a trim up but is more okay with a all natural look. Defiently has the Nickname of Fire Bush 🔥

I= Intimacy (in the moment romantic or rough/dirty)

Shanks is very romantic, he can get rough but he is Defiently the type to differ in Sex Vs. Love Making and with his S/O it's always lovemaking.

J= Jack off (do they masturbate and how often)

Not as often, he used to in the past but finds he'd rather do other things. Especially since he has a S/O so it's unnecessary.

K= Kink (kinks what they like possibly unusual)

He has two big kinks he loves. He does have a mild breeding kink, he loved the idea of 'Breeding' his so in any means and knowing it was him who did it.

His second biggest Kink a Praise Kink and he is open to switching in this role as he loves to be praised or give it.

L= Location (where they like to get it on)

He likes his own place in terms of Sex or a good Hotel. He isn't one to judt fuck anywhere and even for Quickies he has his favorite spots pre-picked out.

M= Motivation (things that makes them tick/turn ons)

Truthfully his S/O is his biggest turn on- them just walking around will be enough to get him worked up.

N= No (turnoffs or absolutely won’t do)

Degradation is a turn off for him, as well as amputation kinks. He finds both I credibly disturbing and will immediately not be interested.

O= Oral (receiving or giving and how skillful they are)

He is a giver, while he does love some good oral he prefers to give. He likes the feeling of being inbetween his S/O's legs and feeling their reactions.

P= Pace (how fast they are and how long they last in bed)

He keeps a pretty even pace, he can be pretty quick in hip movement. However in terms of length in bed he can last quite a while.

Q= Quickie (do they prefer fast and hard)

He does enjoy a good Quickie. However it's only if that is the only option he likes something more sensual if it's available but a has hard fuck is never a issue

R= Risk (do they like to try new things)

Hell yeah, he's always willing to try new things! If he hasn't done it already he will give it a go.

S= Stamina (how many times they can go and how long each round lasts)

Shanks has fairly high Stamina and can last at 20 minute goes with at least 3 rounds in him.

T= Toys (are they game for using sex toys on themselves or lovers)

Shanks down for toys, is willing to use them on his S/O or let them be used against himself.

U= Unfair (how do they tease or do they enjoy suspense themselves)

Shanks is a walking tease, yes he loves romantic and even pacing in terms of sex but he LOVES to take his time to watch his S/O come undone. The look on their faces as they moan and desperately get closer to their climax is so hot to him.

V= Volume (are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk)

From grunts, gentle moans and words of Praise Shanks can be quite vocal. He likes to say sweet things to his S/O if he's on top.

W= Wild card (random sincannon of any sort)

He has been pegged and did not mind it. While isn't his most favorite of things it was interesting at the time and if his S/O is interested he will be down for another round with the plastic.

X= X-ray (what’s down below in dem pants)

Shanks is very blessed- 9.5in easy, and let's say he's more of s grower then a show-er in these parts 😉

Y= Yearning (sexdrive level)

While he is incredibly flirtatious he doesn't have the highest of sex drives. Defiently very relaxed and will be down if his parter is. However naturally is a twice a week kind of man.

Z= Zzzz (do they sleep after if so how quickly after)

Shanks will stay up for a bit, making sure they fall asleep and just admire his S/Os form. Run his hand through their hair and make sure they're comforble

[yossipossi]

I don't have anything to ask. I just wanted to say: thank you for SCP - 8980.

I finished part 2 of Exploring Series' video on it. I must say, the few comments I saw that either demanded you should have made a happier ending, or asked you to stop writing fiction because "fiction is meant to be an escape" made my blood boil.

I responded to someone then deleted my comment because I didn't want to start a fight in a YouTube comment section. It's 6 days into the new year. I need to give it a month before I hit rock bottom like that.

But really, who the fuck tells someone to stop writing fiction, or to demand a change to a story because they didn't like it. The entitlement. The lack of self reflection. I know they are coming from a place of pain, but it's their responsibility to address their trauma, not make every one else bend to their will because they can't handle uncomfortable situations.

Some treat fiction as an escape, but some use it to explore.

It's me. I do that.

What I love about 8980 is that it made me feel seen. Without going into the boring details, I spent a good portion of my life emotionally abused, gaslighting and all. It's like you took a mirror to my experiences and amplified them. I felt heard in a way I rarely do. I can tell you wrote this from a place of pain, and I thank you for sharing it with us. It couldn't have been easy to write.

Someone of my deepest wounds have only been able to heal by reading stories like 8980. They give me a place to explore the depths of my trauma in worlds that cannot hurt me because they are not real.

So truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

I'm a writer too, and shitty comments can ruin my day, so I just wanted to combat that with some (rage motivated) positivity.

Ps. I will not be offended if you choose not to post this ask!

I get where they're coming from: they've been hurt and they want to lash out the pain, but because Byrnes is fictional they go for the next best thing: the author. I try to be compassionate to them, but I don't take their anger too seriously; I don't intend to stop writing because a Youtube commenter was angry at me, haha.

Nonetheless, I sincerely appreciate this message. I'm incredibly grateful I was able to help you, and it means a lot to me to see this. I actually teared up a little when I read it, haha.

I wish you success in your own writing!

[inhonoredglory]

Hey, I reaaally love all your meta analysis, especially the one on Aziraphale's morality. You truely have a wonderful writing style! And you expressed the feelings I had about the S2 finale I couldn't put into words and had me in tears again. I never really believed in the coffee theory (although a part of me hoped for it since it would be way less painful). But there is one thing I can't wrap my head around. The coffee theory is partly supported by the final scene of Aziraphale in the elevator and his creepy smile. Even when he looks forward to his new position and is convinced he does the right thing, I can't believe he wouldn't smile like that (and Michael Sheen is to talented for it being am accident). He still lost his soulmate Crowley, he still had to give up the life he loved so dearly and we know how much he struggled with that in the first place talking to Metatron. So why this smile, which aside from that, really did not look like him? I fear, that his memories were wiped out in this elevator. But since you have so a great understanding of Aziraphale's character, I would like to know your theories about that? Thanks a lot!!

(In response to my meta on why Aziraphale had to go to Heaven)

Thank you so much for your kind words, @sabotage-on-mercury (truly means the world to me). Honestly, the creepy smile was one part of the ending I couldn't quite put my finger on either, until someone pointed out on a Twitter response to my meta:

The reason why its scary is bc azi is becoming properly angry at the system and is 101% determined to set things right (Source)

In season 1, Aziraphale was determined not to kill anyone to stop the Apocalypse. He wouldn't even tell Crowley where the Antichrist was, because Crowley's only solution was to kill him.

And because Crowley consistently didn't have any ideas ("not one single better idea??"), Aziraphale took it on himself to pursue the only option left––to ask God to intervene and stop both Heaven and Hell from destroying Earth. Therefore, Aziraphale had to keep the integrity of his angel status by distancing himself from Crowley, while the world was still in danger.

Despite this dedication avoid bloodshed, when God didn't have an answer, Aziraphale went against one of his core beliefs to help save the world. He was willing to murder a child.

For Aziraphale, that takes guts. And (seeing how he reacted at the end of the Job minisode), I wonder that if he had killed Adam Young, Aziraphale would have checked himself into Hell.

Going to Heaven for Aziraphale is ultimately a conscious choice, one that he is clearly afraid of. We see him constantly steeling himself again the Metatron in the end, covering his fear and hurt from losing Crowley with a placid smile and a flippant attitude. He's wearing so many masks, to Crowley, to himself, to the Metatron...

All season we've seen him playing roles (detective, magician, doctor, landlord). But the final role is warrior. Going up that elevator, we first see Aziraphale's eyes searching, worried, panicking, but unable to show it because he's not in a safe space. He swallows, blinks, he's breathing hard (you can see his entire shoulders rise and fall).

But as he goes up, his expression steels. He's quite literally putting on a mask (to himself): a vengeful, hardened expression of pure anger and rage (to drown out the fear and uncertainty he so clearly still has).

Michael Sheen conveying contained anger in both Good Omens and Masters of Sex (gif by @julielilac)

Cuz this isn't just him scrambling to kill a kid, this is him walking calmly and knowingly into sacrificing everything he loves most (Crowley, the bookshop, his entire life on earth) to create a world that will always be safe for him and Crowley and humanity for the rest of time. Where he would have to go up against the most powerful angels, the Metatron, and God Themself to change things. He can't be the kind, sweet angel he was on Earth. That won't cut it in Heaven if he wants to make a difference in any real way.

He wanted to do it with Crowley, with the love and support and strength of his demon. But without him, Aziraphale has to channel something else to keep his resolve afloat.

Something he had when he was a warrior, fighting on the front lines of a battle between Heaven and Hell, when he very likely led a platoon into divine fields of bloodshed before the earth was born. When he was an avenging angel.

I haven’t done this since the Great War.

It was a time and an identity he had chosen to leave behind, because it wasn't the kind of angel he was anymore ("I'm not fighting in any war!"). In this context, you can read Aziraphale's passionate unwillingness to take a life (his pacifism) directly into his past experience as a warrior. It is often the veterans of terrible wars who are the most earnest advocates for peace. (And especially in Britain and Europe, where the violence of the world wars is still such a powerful and painful national memory.)

As he goes up the elevator, he's breathing so hard we can hear it mirrored in the soundtrack, and he is so hyperfocused on steeling himself that he doesn't even care that the Metatron is watching him. He doesn't rest until he's psyched himself into that warrior mindset necessary to carry out this mission entirely by himself, to be both the moral advocate and the uncompromising leader of angels who had intimidated him his entire life. To demand respect and to talk to the very face of God and tell Them they are Wrong.

(Please read this Neil-approved meta for further thoughts on God and Aziraphale.)

That creepy smile is clearly not there because Aziraphale is happy to fall into a toxic parent's false love. There's no comfort or wistful nostalgia in that face. There's no "it'll be so much nicer" in that smile. It's not a happy smile. It's an I'm-gonna-fuck-shit-up smile.

Because it's a warrior's smile before they go into battle, before they put on that armor and, for a while, become something they're not in the name of some greater good. He's fucking furious and it's downright frightening.

Because I have no doubt that the angel Aziraphale we get in Season 3 is the angel Aziraphale who can say this:

He's not there yet in the TV show. But this bravery, this anger, this flaming rage is how it starts.

Or as he's described in the book when Aziraphale mysteriously does away with the local mafia:

Just because you’re an angel doesn’t mean you have to be a fool.

[felixravinstills]

im going to rebel and say ⭐️ because i absolutely DO want to hear u go one about dogfighting or whatever thing u come up with thanks !

ask game

sorry, I took a while. I had to like... keep my thoughts coherent. Hopefully I suceeded.

I actually won't be focusing on dogfighting (everyone cheered). I will still talk about Cave Canem Edit, because no one wants to talk about that fic. (I get it though... it made me sad. which is why no dogfighting focus.) I touch on this stuff in my author's note (my ANs are really like... my director's commentary half the time), but I am elaborating on my thoughts a lot more (hopefully).

I feel like most of my fics have me very focused on thinking in a character's head, but this one was truly meant to be a Festus Creed character study through dogfighting (as it says in the summary).

Personally, after my research, not a big fan of dogfights (wow what a controversial and brave stance), but I do think that they kind of instill a kind of code of honor to how Festus navigates competition (see this as expanding into having to run/make decisions for the Creed businesses). He would appreciate and admire good competition. For him, there maybe unspoken rules of engagement (like those deserving of admiration are not destroyed in the aftermath of a loss).

Festus' odd view of honorable competition also kind of works well with my interpretation of Persephone who (as I am sure you will remember) in Pelops' Shoulder fully believes that friendly competition for Festus' affection is totally plausible between herself and Artemisia, even going so far as to be actively trying to befriend Artemisia and encouraging her to not give up her pursuit as the other girl begins pulling away.

Also in my mind, while his perspective on Coral is fairly dehumanizing in this fic (comparing her to a fighting dog), there is a part of him that has to identify strongly with her to compare her to one of his fighting dogs. I think it makes sense that he would sour a bit to the idea of the Games because of her death. It's also potentially why he'd lowkey resent the dramatics of the future Games.

While his view of Felix is more positive than Coral (he does not not directly (through metaphor. I made him only use simile with Felix) compare him to an animal), I do think that in this fic, Festus sees Felix as someone he needs to guide and take care of (remember that they became friends/bonded closer in University in my headcanoning of this universe). There is kind of a dehumanizing in that... Seeing him as needing steering. <- obviously there are benign mentor figures who guide people but paired with his annoyance with Felix throughout, my intention was kind of like an impression that Felix's hopelessness in Festus' eyes means that Felix kind of needs him which while a pretty okay sentiment, can feel a little insulting and diminishes Felix's agency (especially paired with lost duckling comparison in the fic).

I think Festus is generally has good intentions and means well with most of his interactions, but in this fic, I was exploring how maybe it can also tip to the negative. Good intentions does not actually mean knowing what's best for someone. Taking Felix to the dogfight is an example of that (Pippa was right).

Another thing that I mention in the author's note is that this fic tries to explore this section in Tu Fui, Ego Eris more:

Coriolanus can feel the sharp tug on the back of his head from when Festus Creed had grabbed a fistful of his hair, trying to bring Coriolanus closer to strangle or strike him. [...] Coriolanus never quite figured whether he'd heard about Felix from Vipsania or Lysistrata.

I'm still not decided if in my more canon fics if I want Felix/Festus to be a thing, so you can kind of read it either way. Anyway, if they aren't a thing, I was like what could elicit such a violent response. Then I was like well, Festus perhaps started feeling a sense of responsibility to Felix (which don't we all to our friends? also I do think Festus felt that way towards Coriolanus too in a way). Additonally, Festus' idea of honorable competition comes back into play here, notice his anger at the foul play for his first/favorite dog, Laelaps, who is notably poisoned. You know that I don't poison Felix in my fics, but it kind of highlights the connection that I'm trying to form about why Festus might disapprove of Coriolanus' future actions.

This got really long, but I also have a cut section of this fic somewhere. If people are interested, maybe I'll post it.

[foibles-fables]

I know there’s a lot of turmoil in the Horizon fandom right now  but I just wanted to say that you remain one of the coolest people I have ever known in this fandom. You make amazing content and support so many WLW ships. You’re always up for crazy Theories and headcanons, and are kind to anonymous commenters,  even when they badly jumble their words and sound like they’re being mean, which I’ve definitely done by mistake but you understood my true intent, even before I clarified. Thank you for all you do in this space, you’re an amazing person that still makes me enjoy this game, even with the highs and lows of HFW’s writing and the recent shipping chaos. Please know your works have made me smile so much through the years and your posts always brighten my feed. Thanks for everything!

You know what? Usually I reply to these kinds of asks with a hilariously zany meme and some earnest capslocked gratitude. But I want to be super, super serious and genuine with my appreciation for this one. It's so flattering and fulfilling to hear you say this. Honestly, tearing up a little. I always strive to be a fount of positivity and enthusiasm about the things I enjoy, even when being positive is incredibly difficult (see: immediately post-HFW, lmao). So it means so much to me to hear that opinion reflected back. So thank you, truly, from the very bottom of my heart. <3 <3 <3

I do wanna talk about the current unsteadiness in the fandom. No matter what, Burning Shores has shown us one very, very important thing: Horus terrifying protect Gildun with our lives Aloy is beautifully, canonically, fantastically queer. This is the central takeaway and something to fuckin' celebrate, everyone. Representation matters--and for sure, unabashed representation like this is so absolutely crucial in today's world. Guerrilla has done an incredible thing and it's an utter amazement to have received it.

But beyond that: nothing else has changed. We absolutely do not need to be engaging in bickering and discourse. Everyone is still entitled to their headcanons and (respectfully-stated!) opinions. No ships have been sunk. There is a place in this fandom for everyone. I don't want to start having to avoid bitterness in this space that's given me such solace and joy and community over the last few years. That's no way for a group of people to share in the enjoyment of something.

Everything is still SO fresh and new, but it’s high time to begin evaluating our responses—especially with GG's quiet announcement of the third game being in development. Let’s shape up in support of our series and carry love and light forward, being enthusiastic about our favorite parts and letting others have their joy as well.

[unriding]

im late!! im so, so late!! TT happy birthday to the angel princess of all angel princesses, EVIE!!! ♥︎ you ran one more lap around the sun — im so happy to have gotten to meet you and become your friend through this silly little app; as chaotic as it tends to be, you make this space feel so cosy. safe. warm!!! meeting you will always be one of my lifes greatest treasures, and i dont think i could ever tire of telling you how much you mean not only to me, but to everyone else here. so i will remind you again tomorrow! and then another day, and still another, heh. look out!! i hope and wish with all my might that all the love contained within the universe finds you for the rest of your life. i hope and wish with all my might that you find happiness right within yourself, as well. i tried my first passion fruit tea with lychee jelly it in today on behalf of it your birthday and i loved it so much!! evie x coco boba date when? ♥︎ i will be waiting as long as it takes!!! smooooooch —!!! >3< before i show myself out, i would like to drop one of my favourite january poems... it is not long till fire runs in the maples and ice goes out — an ode to evie!! your blithe optimism and the hope you cling to for brighter days ahead. may you laugh a lot this year, and smile just as much. i love you!!! ♥︎

ps, no pressure at all to answer this ask!! i know you must be getting a lot of asks and i dont want you to add to the overwhelmingness 🥺 as long as this little letter reaches your heart is what matters to me :^)

coco auajdixowl i’m truly so sorry about how long it has taken me to reply to this + your dm … !! and even more apologetic over how long my response is … i know i have been yapping quite a lot in your inbox and on the post you had made for me — so of course, no pressure to read this as well !! this is me -> (⸝⸝o̴̶̷᷄‸o̴̶̷̥᷅⸝⸝) anytime i spot you on the dash doing anything at all /pos … i love you !! so very much !! ):

i wasn’t able to type a response janwskdk coco .. when i say that it was so hard to read your dm, i really mean it — in the most positive way! in fact, there is a part of me that feels .. not nervous ?? but a feeling similar to that — because i feel like you understand me so well and therefore know what makes me sad and what scares me and all these things 🥹 NOT IN A BAD WAY. its a very lovely thing, actually! it is just something that continues to catch me off guard — you are so observant coco! please picture what i am explaining as like … when you install a camera to watch your dog and then say hi to them over the mic ( they go O_O ?! right ?? same as me bahahhaa /pos !! )

^ but going off on that, you know me so well that you always seem to know exactly what i need to hear — the perfect mix of words to get me sobbing hysterically and agh T T i love you coco! thank you for making me feel loved even if you are seeing the parts of myself that i think are a bit more unlovable .. !? it’s a very different and unique type of love that is exclusive to you coco .. if that makes sense ?? everyone shows love differently, but the way you show your love is so so gentle and genuine and to me, is identical to to the very definition of love ]:

if i respond to every sentence of your ask and dm, i’m afraid we will really be here for centuries ^^; all i will say is that i have the entire thing committed to memory — no exaggerations! i really could recite the coco-message to you like it’s my favorite children’s book — that’s how many times i have read it !! T T and also, when i said it was a hard read, i mean it as .. it was physically hard to read ( in the most positive way ). i am really not exaggerating in the slightest when i say that each time i read it, i frown like this -> ☹️ with tears brimming my eyes and it always always always ends up with me in hysterics / sobbing because you are too kind!! T T to love me like this !! in fact, it’s been quite a while since i’ve started typing this out because i keep tearing up aianskskdkk the last time i read it ( 5 minutes ago ) i literally had to hug my knees and hiccup / cry into my own arms again sksndkd /pos :’)

i want to talk about you if you don’t mind! because yes, our mootie anni comes up soon — i can’t believe we have known each other for so long already! there was a night, i think a week ago? where i was having a hard time falling asleep and my mind went to you .. and i was thinking about all the things i love about you — things that i might not have said before! here is the list of things i think i haven’t mentioned to you just yet 🤍

your updates on what you’re up to — oh, coco, it always makes me so happy when you’ve posted something about what you’ve been up to .. like a little thing that has caught your eye, or a cute interaction you’ve had .. etc! you are just so cute — from your manu-mushroom plant to you waving a child who had been watching you study, to the cute mice you had named .. all these things! the way you are so kind and loving of the things / people around you … makes me ?? feel happier about what’s around me, as well :] i find that i’ve been paying closer attention to what’s around me as well .. like maybe the flowers look a bit more vibrant today! or maybe the sun is peeking out a little more :] or maybe the sunrise is more pink today — things like this! to find happiness in the little things is something i have picked up because of you, as selfish as that may sound. it’s very inspirational / admirable to me — and has become something i’ve relied on during these dreary months ^^; this paragraph could venture into how amazing i think you are, but i believe i’ve said that in my ask ?! i will continue on this topic later lol!

your humor — bahaha, i know i haven’t said this one yet !! you have such an endearing sense of humor, coco! from the cute gifs and kaomojis you find — to your reaction to alhaitham / xiangli / karasu posts …. and as mean as this may sound, i giggle at your reaction to gifts from your friends too !! when you go — NAME ?!?! — things like this, so cute to me !!! i live for your reactions and your thoughts and … really everything 🥹

the way you speak — there is a certain gentleness to you! it is a very amazing thing to feel comfort from someone’s presence in a screen — i think! perhaps it’s the way you talk, the way you carry yourself on here, or perhaps the way you listen to others and — truly listen, because you remember all these little things, always!! i can’t pinpoint one thing that makes you ‘comforting!!’ ‘gentle!!’ because i think it is just everything about you that makes you that way ??? i felt the same way when we first became mooties :] i find that when i type to you, the voice in my head is a little calmer and a little quieter because i feel so at peace /pos — i love you and this comforting air around you!

while these things you do for me touch my heart <- understatement when i am in hysterics, i love you so much because i genuinely just adore who you are! i love the presence you have, i love the way you think, i love the way you see the world, i love the way you love, i love — you !!! lots coco !!!! so much that i am frustrated yet again because i cannot quite get my thoughts right ( ever, when i respond to you!! T T ) i will eagerly wish for these months to treat you kindly instead ): and you say that you and the others will remind me that i am loved, but actually, i want to do the same for you! many of the things you say to me are things i would like to say back to you … 🤍

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH HHGGGERR THANJ YOU FOR THESE GIFTS )): i will hold them so close to my heart !! and as for the moze fic you had gifted me with, i have that memorized too heh :] every word of it! thank you ): 🤍

[chairteeth]

Fun fact, Nemu is a sadist

So you see Papa I know I’m gonna need screenshots for this one but HEAR ME OUT. I have actual arguments for this. There’s gonna be a lot of screenshots though, because I feel like in this case it’s a bit more overt once you look at it through this lens. This isn’t so much an essay as something similar to that time I went on a short rant about how Touka acts like a cat but here you go.

Editing Note: The Ao3 version of this essay is superior, I recommend it more than the post.

I’m gonna be very blunt. Nemu is a sadist. An extremely picky sadist that goes from mild to borderline disturbing, but a sadist nonetheless. Girlie has hella concerning moments. There’s the part about enjoying seeing people in pain, yes, particularly pain caused by her (directly or indirectly), but it’s more complex than that. It’s relishing one’s power over others. It’s enjoying when others are humiliated. Enjoying putting people in messed up positions and situations, watching or forcing them to hurt themselves or their loved ones, Sisyphean tasks, etc. There’s pretty terrifying potential to what she would be capable of if encouraged, considering her extensive historical and literary knowledge (looking at you, Madness of Hercules Shizuka. If you know you know).

As for the reasons, well, it makes sense with her background and as a coping mechanism, a way to vent. Sadism most often originates from feeling powerless in daily life, general powerlessness/lack of power even over the self, and repressed anger/frustration, so it tracks with what we know about Nemu. And yes, this happens since childhood. I’m gonna explain my arguments for the intense ‘Nemu is a sadist’ interpretation I have, don’t you worry, and there will be screenshots galore for once!

Let’s start with the mildest stuff. Which is actually Touka-related. Nemu really enjoys getting a reaction out of Touka, mainly earlier in their relationship (when she wasn’t Irreversibly Whipped)—though bits of it remain. This manifests in all of the teasing and the purposeful “humiliation” through things like games (the card game scene comes to mind). It’s easy too, because Touka is so extremely reactive. Here’s a very old example of this much milder manifestation, the card game scene in question:

Touka then starts crying (you can see the tears) because she’d mapped out the entire game and memorized Nemu’s cards and Nemu truly had no reason to pull this move. Leading to this response from Nemu:

Going to another side of things, the funny (/s) humiliation uwasa should not be overlooked. I know I haven’t posted my document where I hyperoveranalyze what each and every one of Nemu’s uwasa means (because it is incredibly disturbing in this raw form), HOWEVER, the Rumor of the Cemetery Banquet Feast is just one of multiple rumors that adds to this specific topic. And also uh the Fashion Monster. There are many, many things that I can gleam from the latter existing in the first place, but it’s described as:

“A Rumor that appears before confident, dressed up girls. It drags its victims into an alley, and if the Rumor isn’t told it looks stylish, it will strip off the victim’s clothes.”

Thank you Nemu, thank you so much. I don’t think I have to say anything for you to see why this applies to the sadist thing. As for the Rumor of the Cemetery Banquet Feast:

“My, have you heard? Who’d you hear it from? The Cemetery Banquet, and the rumor thereof! Fated rivals, arguing friends– if you want everyone to get along, then this Rumor is for you! Anyone who reads its invitation will be guided to the pre-banquet proving grounds. If– and only if– you can make the banquet lively, then you pass! And you’ll be invited up to Paradise, complete with kindly parting words. But if you plan to participate, you’d better take great care! If you fall short of proving yourself, you’ll literally fall into the underworld, to boot. It’s a rumor that ALL of the temple’s supporters are talking about. C’mon now, let’s liven things up!”

And the way the event goes is… Well. 

The Rumor greets its “attendees” in a kind, heavenly voice, casually “forgives” (brushes off) their attempts to break its rules, and gives gentle encouragement (plus painfully-gentle critique) as they resort to performing various party tricks to satisfy it. Once they satisfy the Rumor by setting aside both their pride and their mutual animosities, it escorts them to the top of its pagoda in a giant, golden hand… where they literally pass on to the afterlife.

Thank you Nemu, thank you so much. I think you see where I’m coming from here. As for some of the other things I mentioned at the start, well, there’s this part of Arc 1 Chapter 8:

She truly does speak in the cultiest possible way. Her dialogue is far more cult leader-like than Alina's or Touka's. There's also this part:

Doesn’t she look quite pleased… These are pretty much one after another. But okay fine, here’s a couple from Chapter 9:

Really. Really look at this through the sadism lens. She also giggles while telling the others that they’ve reached their limit right after Kanagi and especially Tsuruno expresses feeling sick and heavy and in pain. Which… is a worse reaction than Touka’s, that’s for sure. What’s fascinating is that in her MGS, Nemu seems to care the most about the Feathers.

As for my final example, I’m just gonna leave a bunch of screenshots from Uwasa Tsuruno’s MGS here. Pay attention to the way Nemu speaks to Tsuruno and the words she chooses to use (it'd be a lot more obvious if Nemu was older than Tsuruno probably):

So in closing. Nemu Hiiragi is a sadist. Funny venting mechanism you’ve got right there, I sure hope it won’t lead to anything more questionable than you’ve already done. Good luck with your wife, Touka, have fun.

[seokgyuistforu]

intertwined | seokgyu

dokyeom loved mingyu so much that the sun and the moon disappeared from the sky most days, and all there was was him. it was dangerous from the start, and he knew that. don't fall in love with your best friend. don't spend every day with him. don't get so attached to him that there's not enough air in the world to fill your lungs when he's not around. these are all things he told himself over and over again until it was too late. until he did the worst thing he could have possibly done. he fell hopelessly in love with kim mingyu. 

mingyu took longer to fall, but it didn't mean he fell any less hard. his world view shifted the first time his lips met dokyeom's, and he's been in space ever since. he too knew that it was risky to fall in love with him. the heart wants what it wants. just be careful, he would say to himself. the positives outweighed the risks. until one day they didn't. 

"don't fall in love with your best friend". "don't date your bandmate". "don't fuck this up for everyone if you break up."that's what they all would say. 

3 whole years of bliss. of blurred days and nights, shared beds and clothes, small and big gestures, stolen kisses and hand holds, arguments and make ups. it all finally came crashing down. 

although he's ashamed to admit it, dokyeom lost a part of himself the day it ended. he became so intertwined with the man he gave his heart to that he took half of it when he left. the worst part? he's not even gone. dokyeom sees him. every single day. this was the risk they had been warned about, and now he knows why. each new band schedule is a sharp pain in his lost heart. he wakes up everyday, the side of the bed that used to be warm with mingyu's presence is always empty. sometimes out of habit he still reaches over to him, only to be fully woken up by the harsh feeling of his hand only being met with the cold mattress. 

today he walks into the practice room, baseball cap on and a hood over it, continuing his existence as a zombie. he goes through the motions, just to survive another day. the rest of the members tip toe around them, never knowing what to say. or who to comfort. there's tension all around. his safe space has been tainted. he doesn't talk or joke around like he used to, and it makes for an eerie quiet. he puts all his effort and energy into the dance, hoping to dance until he can't feel anymore. he practices his moves over and over to the point of exhaustion, hoping to at least be good at this one aspect of his life. the formation changes, and he moves to his spot in front of mingyu. vernon messes up the timing on his move, and the music stops. they stand around as he tries to fix it and dokyeom can feel a familiar pair of eyes on the back of his neck. he's still tuned in to him. into every single aspect of the man who used to be his. he doesn't turn around.

"dokyeom" he hears, the voice just as familiar as the stare. he turns ever so slightly, just enough to see past his hood. he doesn't vocalize a response. mingyu meets his eyes for just a brief second before looking back toward the ground.

"your shoe is untied" he says quietly, clearing his throat. dokyeom follows his gaze to his shoe, which is truly untied. he mumbles an 'oh. thanks' before turning back around and kneeling down to tie it. this is how just about every interaction has gone. it went from conversations at 3 am about wedding venues and what type of cake they would want  to "your shoe is untied". dokyeom stands back up, taking in a deep breath and urging himself not to cry. he's been doing that a lot. he cries at the slightest inconvenience. he cries when something reminds him of mingyu. he's waiting for his tears to run out. 

"alright guys lets run through this full out one more time" their choreographer says. dokyeom enters his focus zone, completely blocking out what just happened. he nails every step, keeping up his energy like he never was able to before. on one particularly difficult move, he puts a little too much personality into the footwork and is immediately on the ground. he rolls over, grabbing his knee and pulling it to his chest. he doesn't even understand where its hurting yet, he just knows it is. he grits his teeth and bites his lip, seriously not wanting to cry in front of them all yet again. he hears the music stop, then voices on top of each other all at once asking if he's okay. jeonghan approaches him, bending down to look at him and asks where it hurts. dokyeom's heart starts pounding in his chest and everything starts to sound like its underwater. no no no. not now, he thinks. but he can't stop it once its started. he's having a panic attack. he can't catch his breath no matter how hard he breathes in. all his calming down techniques go out the window as he is still aware of everyone's worried eyes on him. his leg hurts so bad. he just wants to give up. he can't even dance right either. 

his eyes are closed tight when the smell of vanilla and bergamot hits his nose, then a familiar voice manages to pierce through the sound of his heartbeat. 

"hey" the voice prods softly, a softness that has brought him out of these attacks many, many times. "look at me. you're okay". reluctantly, knowing who's going to be there when he looks up, dokyeom opens his eyes. 

it does nothing to calm down his heart when he sees the genuine worry on mingyu's face, and notices how he's taken his hand in his. he rubs soft circles on the top of his hand with his thumb, using the gesture he's learned to keep him grounded in reality and out of his head. this time mingyu doesn't break away from his gaze.

"can you move your leg?" he asks gently, hoping to establish if he needs immediate care. 

he hesitantly moves his arm away from his leg and slowly stretches it out. there's only a dull pain, like he twisted something, but nothing too serious. he nods.

"okay. okay that's good" mingyu says, and everyone else lets out a relieved sigh. they casually back away, knowing all too well that mingyu can handle the panic attack. mingyu guides him towards the wall of the room and makes him sit up, back straight against the wall. he sits criss cross in front of him, placing a gentle hand on his calf. 

"you ready?" he asks, referring to the breathing technique he uses to calm him down. dokyeom nods, still too much in a shock to use any guide of vocalized words. he matches his breaths with mingyu for a minute or two, until the rest of the room comes back and he feels human. he feels nauseous at the sight of mingyu sitting there, worried sick with the ever lasting trace of love written all over his face. his hand has moved up to rest on dokyeom's knee. 

he breaks his silence. "why are you helping me?". he can't hold himself back from asking. 

the last of piece of mingyu's heart that was holding itself together by a thread finally breaks after that question. how doesn't he know that he will never stop loving him? he will be the first one there to help him, and the last one to leave when he's not well. he will never forget all the little things he's learned about him. like how he likes to sleep with a fan on at night even if its freezing, just for the white noise and mingyu has to use an extra blanket just to make it through. like how he can't eat dinner at home without watching a baseball game in the background. like the grounding techniques he needs to calm him down from a panic attack. he can't erase him away, even if he tried. 

"can't you see, kyeom? i'll never stop" he replies, meeting his eyes and truly, for the first time since the breakup, looking back at the soul that has become intertwined with his for the rest of his life. for better or for worse.