#thank u for asking about my Guys ;w;
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You have so many cool OCs, tell me more about Turbatio. What's his deal? Is he like Octis' "parole officer" or something?
something like that, yes.
turbatio acts as a set of "eyes and ears" for asathanos; the overseer of hell.
octis and asathanos have an agreement going on and as part of that agreement asathanos put turbatio to the task of ensuring octis upholds his end of the deal;
turbatio is an intensely strong demon and not one octis can go up against due to his powers being confiscated, so while octis is stuck on the mortal plane turbatio spends his time loitering in the rafters of octis' cathedral. technically turbatio is doing his job, but even though that job is "bite octis' head off the second he steps out of line", turbatio's grown to enjoy badgering the bitter old man instead. he's simultaneously the guillotine dangling over octis' neck and the imp prodding him with a pitchfork for all eternity and octis resents him greatly for it.
personality-wise, turbatio's quite devious, cruel, and a smidge bit unhinged. he's a gargantuan opossum with the cackle of a hyena and a mane of rainbow-coloured flower petals. his ears have eyeballs that blink and move in tandem with his actual eyes. his head also can harmlessly pop off his body beneath the collar. it reattaches through magnetic hellmagic. he also has an indefinitely long tongue, which just adds to his unnerving nature.
even though the residents within the cathedral are large in part demons themselves, turbatio isn't friendly with any of them. he will nip himself a soul or two, mortal or otherwise, while octis isn't looking - sometimes for the sole purpose of making octis' job that much harder.
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i keep saying i need to make some zhaoryu shit but i'm back on my y5 kazusaeji bullshit again they are just so. m
#ada speaks#there NEEDS to be more zhaoryu shit. but kazusaeji still holds my ass hostage so#if i am to write a comprehensive timeline of kiryu's sexuality and him coming to realizations about himself that lead to the way he's#changed in gaiden to be more. uh.#then i have got to start at 5 because its literally when he first begins to realize he's fr into men. and then gaiden & 8 he's like Out#i need his first time to be with saejima when he's at his lowest it just makes sense#theres so fucking much in 5 that feels like its really coming to a head#mayumi. why did they fucking do that. like also nakajima and his coworkers being like U Are Gay but.#mayumi. and hinata. why are you having him refuse sex with women TWICE in one game#i hc him as acespec but i also think he should get to fool around w saejima for narrative reasons#and by that i mean i think it would be absolutely devastating and tragic and also they would both legitimately be so normal about it#saejima knows he's going back to jail anyway so there's that#but god help kiryu he's absolutely trying to fill the loneliness void with People all the damn time#lowkey doing what he did with kaoru to saejima 😭#you're grieving the loss of your family? time to latch onto the woman going through the same thing just a year later#lost your emotional support daughter? allow a woman to live with you while you continuously rebuff her advances#lonely and directionless and feeling guilty for having dragged your loved ones into conflict again and again?#have sex with probably the Only guy who can understand exactly what you're going through but is consistently in a Way healthier mindset#it also makes the conversation they have on the rooftop of new serena so much more deranged if it happened before that#im normal btw thanks for asking
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Can you do prompt 34 for araleyn?
no.34, gen: "you look happy" //sometimes i think too much about dlyh
#hello here is yet another thing you probably don't remember asking#thank you for the request nonetheless!#woke up w brainrot already going. hm#(hypothetical) you ever think about araleyn as such a Thing in the context of the musical#like. idk vague references in here to context vibes include#the animosity between the two throughout 'he doesn't wanna bang u somebody hang u' and the constant mockery of aragon throughout dlyh#and like. ig since halfway through anne wins over catherine. this would be where the excerpt comes in of 'you look happy'#but also there's the. is anne really happy? no one knows! i like the theory that was floating around that she's actually much smarter than#how she portrays herself in six the musical and the ditzy chaotic version is a front#you can kinda see the more true version in the 'guys i think he's actually going to chop my head off!!'#the panic the desperation the nerves!!! the laughing hysterical breakdown i associate w her for some reason#anyways. feel free to disagree with me on character interpretation ig (but please be nice i am not good w criticism and not crying)#in this one aragon is more concrete i think. because of all the previous posts i've settled on a sort of defined face for her?#anne has always been one of the most amorphous queens to draw for me and in here i am not quite satisfied w her face but idt i can do better#the fun part is that the sketchiness kinda adds to the unraveled look i think. some sort of poetic fitting there#taggity tag tag tag#six the musical#six the musical fanart#anne boleyn#catherine of aragon#araleyn#or if you are. accustomed like me to the other spelling however incorrect#aralyn
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getting a handle on mavis is kinda 😵💫 bc on the one hand she's an empath (literally) and is shown to generally have more emotional intelligence/maturity than dr🅰️x/nebs/rocket combined, but at the same time she apparently saw no problem at all whatsoever w kidnapping kevin 🥓 for peter 😭 which is like???? i mean maybe those two things can be true at the same time but like... How. 😭 is she an empath or is she okay w taking people against their will to give as a present to her brother ?
#just some thoughts b4 bed...#ooc.#james 🔫 leaving me to have to make sense of this all like ok thanks#i do think she's somewhat Stunted in regards to social behaviour that's considered acceptable or appropriate#bc for most of her life she lived on ego's planet w literally nobody else but him and his children (her half siblings) that he kept killing#he straight up didnt even acknowledge he was her father. he had her call him Master. so like... yeah. no parenting done there#but she gets Most of that sorted out when she meets the guardians i think#(like basically she figures out how Not to act by looking at dr🅰️x and 🚀 lol)#im also 100% sure gam🅾️ra would've taught her some things woman to woman (my girl i'll avenge u from what goftg3 did to u)#so u would THINK w/ all that mavis would think twice before just straight up kidnapping a guy. but No#im gna say this is bc mavis kinda has a one track mind. what she knows is that peter is sad and she wants to cheer him up#dr🪓 gives her a solution: get peter his fave hero#she goes yay! and is so fixated on that part of it that she doesn't stop to consider the consequences#bc kevin is just. part of the goal at this point and not a person#so she's always. Always well intentioned. just sometimes doesn't think about all the angles as much as she should#does that make sense? i hope so. imc rying#well intentioned but doing fucked up things also applies to that scene where she erases dra❌'s memory#bc he's sad!!!!!!! he was hurt by something she said so she wanted to take it away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#but she just went and took his memory of it without asking without even stopping to think if she should and that's#beautiful to me bc mavis is sweet and empathetic and she LOVES him just like she does all the other guardians#but she's fucked up too!!!!!! like the rest of them!!! just in different ways and i Love that in a woman#anyway. god. ive spoken too much in the tags. apparently i have a lot of feelings about this
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zevie! first of all i am SO looking forward to your kinktober 2024 mlist [incoherent yelling]. in the meantime i wanted to let you know that i have read and re-read everything you have written so far for windbreaker and it is ALL SO GOOD. i went in hardcore into just one or two of the boys but after reading your stuff it literally becomes like. whoever it is you’re writing for in that post :’) anyways i am counting down the days to your sep posts but pls take care of yourself too, thank you so much for all of your hard work!
nonnie !!! hellloooo aaaa my kinktober !! i am so excited for you guys to read it (: i spent a while thinking of the prompts & tried to make them super juicy <33
you’re rereading ??? that’s like one of the sweetest compliments u can give a writer my love ):
you as well!! i am so excited for what’s to come (: if i finish kinktober prompts early, i have a milestone event planned! i have an idea that can include my shy readers as well 🤍
#🦢— mail !#i’ve been thinking of ways i can interact w my shy readers too!!#bc not everyone is gonna want to do appearance matchups or send thirsts#i think i have it all#planned! but i would like to finish kinktober before doing anything like that#i wasn’t able to finish my first kinktober bc i left my blog that same month#so this one i wanna complete ahead of time !!#OK WAIT NO OFF TOPIC RAMBLING#sigh nonnie i’m just looking at ur ask w heart eyes#you guys r so kind to me it makes my heart happy#rereading ?? and you’ll read about the other characters too?? i’m so grateful i have cute readers like u all!!#take care of yourself as well!! since i write drafts online#sometimes i catch u guys reading nonstop#make sure u are drinking water and resting ur eyes if ur binge reading !!#I LOVE U ALL SMMMM#THANK U FOR YHIS NONNIE IM BLUSHINGGFFG#tysm for sending me this ): it means sm to me#more than u think !!! i love u kiss kiss
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If you needed help moving, which OC would you call for help?
first of all, I'm sending u a big virtual hug because this was a super cute idea and I'll totally retaliate in the future <3
So um, let me get awfully personal for a second. I tend to get very nervous when it comes to chores in general, plus I dread moving. Anxiety kicks in, I freeze out of fear, spoons disappear super fast, and I transform into a puddle of "why me"s (to say the least) lol If it were for me, I'd be hedera. I want to be hedera so bad ;;
With that out of the way, I'm sure Kerry would be my first choice, because he's super patient and reassuring when it comes to traumatic situations. He's a responsible puffy cake, also he has big strong arms u-u he would help me finish the job in a few hours tops! Also he brings the cooking! He doesn't mind cooking in stressful situations, which is fundamental <3 panini for everybody! Yeee
I almost forgot to include Shaan (thanks Arja for the assist <3)! And it's a shame, because Shaan is a walking schedule. He would be my immediate second choice if Kerry wasn't available. He lacks Kerry's empathy, but he compensates it with what I lack when it comes to chores, which is direction. He would put an order to things, anticipate issues, and offer solutions when things get dire. Still a second choice tho, because he's an organizer, not a helper :' I would have to be the one that lifts all the boxes, and my arms are like mozzarella
Ankh is a close third, only because I would prefer to get things done super fast and she's not, in comparison to those two above of course. Mind you, she is fast, and she's amazing at defusing situations. Her way of rationalizing pain would be super useful in such a scenario as well. But she's not as good as a supporter as Kerry and a genius at organizing as microsoft excel Shaan << sorry bb, you're great, but not the best for me (story of her life lmao)
#asks#ankh#kerry#shaan#if someone like shaan was in my life I would have them on speed dial lol#the mere thought of eventually moving houses makes my heart beat faster hahah#therapist told me it's the idea of temporarity that scares me and we joked about it a couple of times because it's Very Taurus of me lol#this was a cool way to see everything under a positive (and fun!!!) light thanks dear ;;#the poor ankh always ditched for the cool guys (gender neutral)#she wouldn't take offense tho she would act like me I know that u-u#(and thank me bc she wouldn't have to deal w shaan constant reminders and kerry always teasing her bf lol)
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Hello! I watched your speedpaints on repeat when I was in middle school (like 6 years ago) and sometimes still go back and watch them for the sake of nostalgia and good music. I just wanted to let you know you’ve touched my life and left a print, thank you 🤍
Thank you. So so much. For sending me this??? The me who made all those youtube videos. Doesn’t exist anymore. Life got harder. In so many new and horrible ways. And that like. Spark to create kinda died. And also I had more important shit to worry about all of a sudden. But. Knowing that it left on impact on someone enough to send me a message. Years after I’ve stopped making them tho. Idk.. that means something.. I appreciate you didn’t forget about me! (/my videos lol. I kno u don’t kno me. My vids and art feel a bit like. An extension of me tho? In a way. But I kno that it’s not a 1:1 thing. My art an videos express thoughts ideas and feelings of mine. But they are not. Me. Just lil slivers of me.. Tiny lil portions from specific moments in time.)
Sometimes it feels like those videos were just a flash in the pan. A brief moment of attention and fame I didn’t grab onto hard enough… and now the moments long gone. but. I didn’t rlly want to grab onto it, I just wanted to make fun videos. And show off my music taste lol. And express. The music videos my brain would create in my head into the real world. And then I got too busy w real life kicking my ass. (Ps. life has now stopped kicking my ass!! It’s gotten better. Just. Not the same as it was before) Maybe I’ll get back into it one day. If I have any new ideas. Once I get stable and know what I’m doing. And get like an iPad or something so I don’t have to wrangle w my laptop lol. But yeah!!! Srry.. I’m rambling a lot.. this message just made me emotional ok! I’m being openly vulnerable in turn hopefully that’s not too weird lol. I’m happy my videos had an impact on your life!! That means. A fucking ton. Like. Words cannot properly express the weird happy feeling that gives me in my heart. Thank you so much!! For real!!! Srry for getting all in depth about my life again this message just!!! Struck an introspective chord w me!!!
#like.. god damn#I guess it’s like… when I think about back then. and now. it’s weird. it’s so so weird#but this rlly! made me really happy to read!!! Srry if my reply is inarticulate or weird I’m bad at words and this is like a complicated#emotion to express without getting way too sappy and introspective and vulnerable#so I gave up on not being sappy and introspective and vulnerable to try and express it!#but I probably still didn’t do it 100% properly lol. hopefully u get the idea tho!#so yeah. thank u lol#I hope u have a good life dude! from: the guy who made those vids u liked…#time and life are so weird.. I hope we all get to have good life’s. u ask person#me. anybody reading my tags. anybody not reading my tags. idk!!! I just hope shit goes well! and we can get thru the bad times!#and have a good time. bein alive. to the best of our abilities…#ok. I’m gonna shut up now. this has gotten sappy and emotional enough ghghg#thank u.. again… Srry for goin off in weird tangents my brain just felt compelled#I have comfort nostalgia vids I like watching too. that just. mean a lot to me. I’m happy. that my videos can give u that feeling!#assks#sorry that’s my tag for. responding to asks. I promise I’m not calling u an ass#idk why I made that my tag ghgh- lil me was fuckin stupid lol#I say that w affection but I def was ghg. ok now for real for real shutting up! thank u again!
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any particular preference for type of (i assume) akane photo rn? like tone of the piece wise?
Aww that's sweet idk I was kinda scrolling through my own art of her tbh but I really really should sleep :']
#Post I rb from Grace without thinking much: fetch me photos of the fictional character Grace a minute later: on it boss o7#a tag for asks#thank u :3#zooming in on my own color and rendering choices because the brush texture is there for my own sensory needs first and foremost#also love the “of (I assume) akane” lol#mutuals rebbloged some of the ones I drew of her tiny it's mini-akane hours I guess#guy w aoi profile picture just talking about wholesome pictures of tiny akane for comfort. love that for me
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hiii.....doodled your guy because iiiii really like him :] and he's fun to draw
IM GOIGN TO EXPLOOOOODEEEEE WAAAAUUUGGTHHGHH GROWLING BITING TEARING THINGS APART W MY TEETH RAAARRRGGHGGG AAHGGH AAAAAAAAAAAAA THANK U THANK U THANK U THANK U T
#MY GUY..........#ive been so hyperfixated on him for the past couple weeks this is the best timing ever..#literally sparkling smoking w joy rn#you draw him SO well i cant fully describe it its just so. your style fits him so much#augh. instert prozd tumblr tags video. thinking about this forever#thank u this is so very niceys of u <3#my ocs#hacker#fave#ask
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:^333333333
#im soooooo slay my ego is extremely boosted rn#went to a boxing class at the gym i just joined n i was all nervous n shit asking the instructor if this class was for beginners or nah#and she was like listen weve got a lot of regulars and some w lower skill level its for all levels technically#n i was like ok 🥲 ill do my best but i signed up for it so i might as well attend#but we were doing rhe drills n shit and incorporating kicks n the instructor came over and was like do u do soccer or like#any sort of sport w ur legs ??? n i was like no lol i barely go to the gym n she was like why are ur kicks so good then ?#😳😳😳😳😳 so basically ur saying i should go pro ?????#she like went in front of the whole class and was like guys sarah says she doesnt do any sort of sports but her kicks are higher than mine#which was embarssing but extremely ego boosting#she also came to me after n was like uve got other students saying holy shit about ur kicks#euehueheueheuueueheueueu#and made a big deal of welcoming me at the end of the class#thank u small older lady i will remember this forever and i will come to all of ur boxing classes now#i have lasik this weekend tho so i cwnt go next week which i feel bad about now bc she .ade such a bjg deal about today 😭😭#but i dont wanna fuck up my eyeballs 👍🏻#anyways im gonna go take these legs to the nearest rcmp whatever place to register these Weapons#slay 💅🏼#gommywords
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wait you got me so invested in the stammer & heddy tailor au....
this is my standard disclaimer that i have never posted a fic on ao3* and for however much i say “au” i truly mean that it’s a universe that lives in my head & i am absolutely delighted to tell you all about, all the time <3 if it helps i ALSO got me so invested in the heddy & stammer tailor au
ok now that the author’s note is out of the way here’s some notes about the not!fic heddy & stammer tailor au:
stammer as the tailor from gent’s playbook, very reserved, quiet, with an excellent eye for details (honestly the evidence i have for his style sense is just that he’s best friends with pk subban so it has to be there somewhere if only by proxy irl) is hired by victor hedman, star of the tampa bay lightning who is every other tailor’s nightmare to dress (huge, opinionated, fashionable)
heddy is decently well-known throughout the league for being very well-dressed & becomes quietly well known for also being one of his new tailor’s favorite loyal customers [heddy has the nicest fabrics. he has his suits the first day a new collection drops & e v e r y o n e is jealous]
stammer’s business booms after heddy takes a chance on him as his first big client & promotes him, heddy sees him grow in popularity & get more clients
heddy also moonlights as a model for stammer’s suits on instagram, initially to help him grow his business because then he won’t have to pay for a model and then because he’s over there all the time anyway because they’re dating (that’s why the model’s face is never in the pictures)
there’s not really a plot to this besides the vague idea of a plot where stammer makes heddy his lucky suit that he wins the cup in & sews a special little tag into the lining of his jacket that says i love you
because love sometimes is picking out the perfect right color pocket square to match your husband’s beautiful suit that you fitted like a kiss to the curves of his huge body
& also sometimes love is making your beautiful husband who makes you beautiful clothing enjoy nice things for himself once in a while, like the fancy watch you bought him or the nice suit you custom-ordered for him (from him) just so you could take it off of him
#*i did very much post a zine on ao3 that was part of a really fun exchange that i loved doing (thank you leah for organizing!!!)#& had a fantastic time with however i have not strictly speaking posted a fic. one day i will. eventually. hopefully. pray for me :)#also one time my horoscope told me i was a ‘neutral projector’ & i’ve never felt more called out (‘loves making up things’/‘will not#actually write or plot but will explain every intricate detail of their world & character relationships’/‘hype up every member of the#writing chat & give good advice but never follow it’) like HI CAN U NOT DO THIS TO ME HOROSCOPE THANKS i was read to FILTH#liv in the replies#i do LOOOOOVE me a good one of them plays hockey the other one does not au sometimes they’re so fun to explore dynamics outside/inside sport#at the time i came up with this stammer was out on IR & heddy kept showing up to the playoffs in ridiculously nice suits what was i to do??#the gent’s playbook tailor will sometimes model his own suits w/o showing his own face which made it look like he had a secret model come in#heddy canonically says his suits make him feel better when he plays esp during playoffs & if he wins in a suit he’ll keep wearing it#oh also the truth of the love is in the pocket square bit? angela price i will never forget. anyway that blue suit i posted in the last ask#with the perfect pink pocket square? that pocket square is a pair of stammer’s boxers heddy took To Me. in my brain#me about the beautiful clothing: this is like daisy crying in gatsby’s silk shirts except it’s baby alpaca fur & also it’s not sad#it’s simply decadent & the inherent intimacy of a fitting mapping the body yada yada yada knowing the ways to flatter someone is a form#of loving them etc etc. love is art love is food love is given love is stored in the custom three-piece suit and tie#is this an enemies to lovers? workplace drama? is the secret plot i only just now invented & added that heddy is ‘difficult to work with’#but it’s just because he wants to look good & in the words of his own (real) tailor the hardest guy to fit because he’s so big? OHHH HOLD IT#I GOT THE PLOT IN THE TAGS Y’ALL AND IT’S STAMMER TEACHING HEDDY TO LOVE HIS BODY heddy who’s been told what to/not wear & you know.#the commodification of the body in hockey (but we’re not getting that deep) but stammer with a mouth full of pins tightening heddy’s pant#leg down even further as he listens to what heddy wants for once & lets him pick fabrics (this is the daisy shirt moment but it’s heddy#looking at fabric swatches dozens of books of them stammer helps him pick out matching linings &outsides &squares) & stammer compliments him#& they’re in love & idk NEARLY enough abt fashion but there r like codes? messages? to wearing suits i think w/the etiquette so that too#should this have also gone under a readmore? yeah probably. whoops#victor hedman#steven stamkos#tampa bay lightning
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i think i made the proshippers mad LOL!!
#asks have been turned off <3#stay mad#also im sorry to my followers who see me get mad about this every couple months#ily guys thank u for sticking w me
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man they rlly said we are going to make your grocery store experience so miserable and hangry bc the rest of your day will be so overwhelmingly good we need to balance it out brother. and wow it rlly was great what a 180
#lee’s bullshit#art was great pre grocery store too my prints turned out rlly good and I started on my next project#then in studio I had three separate incredibly kind interactions regarding my project#first where a guy referenced a project I did FRESHMAN YEAR that I didn’t even remember to back me up I was so honored#genuinely like wow so so cool to hear that project stuck w him like that . what an angel#the second was when everyone in the group was arguing over a different local building during my presentation#a guy in the front turned to me and started quietly asking me questions about my design and giving advice on what I should do next#which was also so appreciated bc everyone had been talking over me and he had good points too#then third once I was done and filling up my water my old friend passed me on the stairs#and said come see me I have a building you need to see for your project#which was also a) so cool that he’d think of smth for me and b) v sweet since we haven’t been close since first semester#and he showed me a building w rlly cool unique comments on how I could apply parts of it which I rlly appreciated#then we talked abt radio too bc I had been thinking abt asking him and this opened that door !! so so great#this semester has been so much better in terms of making friends and talking to people thank fucking god#and then in my history class I knew two obscure answers (random building and doctor who (thank u smith)) which was great#and my class crush is back in that class which is also great 👍#overall big improvement to my day thank you everyone :]#if you read this far I love and miss you all <3 take care#ALSO found out our friend who came from scotland to work in my town this summer is going to come back next year thank god !!!!!#another huge win for the me community in so happy <33
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(long story and no short sorry) GUYSSS I DID ITT
I INDUCED IT!!!!! I WAS PURE AS A FUCKING BABY
IDK WHAT TO SAY (ok enough w capslock)
i have so much to say and not a thing at da same time idk how
anyway i want to begin with thanking you @b4ddprincess bc youre the reason i realized why i started this thing. thank you for making my life better and make me realized what i need to do: nothing. (its same for you guys, all u have to do is nothing)
two fuckn years ago i said to myself that i need a better life, quiter life, less fight with everthing bc everything was so loud and not clear i was feeling lost like a child in the market, and i wanted to make things better for myself in every way, but the main idea of my reasons to wanting to get in the void was: making anxiety go and having better people in my life. but the ''voidlist'' just never stopped bc im kinda greedy(having the idea of controling on your life, the idea of that power makes you greedy. yes thats a thing) anyway the more i add to the list the more i feel like im movin away from my desires then i feel depressed bc ive overcomplicating it bc theres so many things to do but i dont do anything so nothing happend bc i was waiting to be someth happen. and then i started doing awkwardly silly things such as: void routines and challenges and (im embarrassed of this one bc i was too desperate) drinking water
youve read it correct drinking water.
i was sooo desperate for having those things id do anything to get them.
i am simple. i want what everyone wants🎀🎀🎀: shifting realities bc i have so many crush and i need them to be crush me in bed(for 2020 girlies)
being an academic weapon is so easy for me🎀(bc of the urge to make my family proud) +dream collage
being the girl that everyone gets along w(basic needs)
being the girl who is pretty not cute(trauma response)
glowing aura(cats loves people w glowing aura yes thats a thing too)
dream body n hair(bc i deserve this🎀)
healthy (girlyfriend)friends(basic needs)
and of course him, my sp(i cant tell wich one at that time but i releived that its not him now, bc MY BELOVED CURRENT BF. guyss he is the one. dont u dare ask me how you know? i literally manifested him🎀)
then i realized i can have everything bc its my reality so why not add these:
new phone, +macbook air
dream apartment of my own
pinterest closet
lifa app for this reality
financially free-money(a lot. like really a lot)
knowing 4 languages like a native person(bc i want to be diplomat so bad) +sign language(its in general)
a little drama(its not gonna hurt anybody)
my parents being more lovable and away from me
every time i try to get in, either i was failing or falling
and im sick of it, sick of it so much i quit.(for a year)
then i go to the theraphy(ofc no im jk ilove being crazy)
one day i saw a post ss from tumblr about pure consciousness on pinterest and i was like whaat is thiiss. no mention of void so i thougt its a diffrent thing and i download the tumblr again and search everything abt it. and same excitement again after one year same thougts and same list popes up in my head. and i was like ok maybe this time itll happen.
still waiting to be someth happen so nothing happend, it was such a waste of time trying to get in while i was already be, i was already what i want to become. i was that girl that everyone gets along with but i couldnt even see bc i was too focused on wanting to be. but still tried every night and failed. and again tried-failed-quit circle bc.. have you ever met me🎀
4 month ago i saw the girl, iconic blogger and the goddess of my dreams, her @b4ddprincess thx again love u so much
a post pops in my fyp and i see the words ''pure consciousness'' i was like noo not again. and i was serious abt it i wasnt gonna read the whole thing but it attract me n i couldnt resist it so ive read it from the top to the bottom. and she got my interest so i stalked her page from the last and to the first post. it was quiet a beautiful journey for me. lasted like 3 days, the end of the 3rd day i was ''woaw it was this easy all along? u cant be serious.'' she was. i tried one last time, no breathing exercise, no ridiculous routines and no waiting something to be happen. it was just me being real me chilling out asf.
and it was this easy and it should be this easy bc being your 4d self is being nothing also being everything at the same time. if u wanna be everything you should be nothing first(as wizardliz saying: drop the old story, leave the victimhood, for being better stop being bitter etc.)u should make a space for everything first and then u can be everything.
for being 4d self of yours stop being your3dself.
sooo long story (no)short i am writing this from my mac in my new apartment(in middle of the night bc i couldnt sleep and then one tumblr notification reminded me i have a success story to share too) and my phone buzzing two minutes a time bc of my friends while im writing this, so if theres anything wrong ignore it pls.
oh u asking my bf how cute, hes sleepin in my bed now, exhausted from the work n school balance.
YWS SCHOOL!! im in my dream collage and im going to be in paris for a week. i deserve a vacation i guess(its for another conference), i kinda hate french men bc theyre so mansplaning(not like how i imagined, its hard to be friends w them)girls are cute but i feel like theyre aware im not permanent there so we just con buddies still cute and hepful for this foreigner.
and i canceled the lifa app thingy bc i can be my purest consciousness anytime i want, so i am my lifa app.
and thx to 4 languages i make a lot of money and that brings us to the pinterest closet, yesterday i realiased that. theyre not comes to me w an imaginary way like i imagined! i go outside for shopping casually and theyre there luckily i have enough money to buy them.
and my family theyre living in our hometown now so as i want it to be, we are away from eachother.
and the most magical thing: SHIFTING REALITIESSS
i did 5 world before i met w my bf. it was such a wonderful experience. if you have doubts abt shifting you can go fuck urself
because sir i did it and i am very sure that dean winchester being my husband is not a daydream, fantasy nor lucid dreaming. believe it or not he kissed me GOD HE KİSSED ME(someone should stop me i have a bf)
is there anything i missed let me see.. cats i have 2 cats now and theyre adorable. glowing aura-check
the girl who is pretty not cute- check +make anxietygo-checkcheckcheck
dream body and hair- check and check
i wanna give u a info i didnt have all my desires by being my4dself
not directly actually. but i have them all. and thats the point.
im not trying to be a blogger but if you have any question abt anything, id be happy to help
now i need to upgrade things in my farm byeess
loves, siena.
#void success stories#pure consciousness#i am state#the void state#4d reality#void state#loass#manifesation#manifesting#shiftblr#shifting consciousness#manifestblr
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#okay don’t ask me why but i can’t ramble in text posts. too much pressure. the blogging part of my blog occurs in the tags. who cares!#ANYWAY#i’m in like! a writing era again! it’s been so long since any creative writing flowed#(though i’ve been having fun w writing for my classes for Some Time Now!! but i haven’t been Inspired since my reddie smau#which i started pre covid and then covid happened like. it was doomed. anyway it’s been a While since i last wrote fic)#and as may be evident from my recent blogging i finally got into star wars in early 2022#and then i started thinking about a codywan necrocav Situation and that turned into something a LOT bigger#which is very much still in development it’s my baby#but it’s huge. definitely two full stories and they will not be short.#but i was making good progress on that and then i busted my fucking wrist#so it was kind of on hold#and then a single thought about a time travel story DID take hold of my entire consciousness#and i’m not posting ANYTHINGGGG until it’s Done Done so that i don’t fall into my brain traps when people read as i go lol#so it’ll be a while before any of this sees the light of day anyway#BUT i’ve now finished my fleshing out the shape of it document beginning to end which i’m now working on beating into a coherent outline#anyway that doc was 10.5k which is longer than all but one thing i’ve posted on ao3 LOL#but anyway. it’s happening and it’s special to write again it’s been SO long!!!!!#me turning up after a decade of not publishing anything to my ao3: hey guys who wants 200k of vaderwan time travel lol#me four years later when i finish the other story: and now 800k of whatever this monstrosity is#BUT ANYWAY IT’S FUN! THANK U TO ANYONE WHO READ THIS FAR LOL#that includes you future self who will definitely read these tags at some point. love u girl!!!! xoxo#a ten is blogging#bycbwg#uyaf#arhtbtad#(those r based on their working titles but for future sorting reasons)
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slumber party
in which there's only one bed. fem bau!reader x spencer reid
fluff! warnings/tags: dark humor, (the word molest is used jokingly once but in my defense your honor its completely on brand for early seasons cm humor, if u cancel me u have to cancel the whole cast those are the rules, its just a joke cause reader always flirts w him aggressively, pls don't come for me i have a wife and children and three boyfriends to take care of,) mutual pining, bullying and death threats as flirting, they love each other so much and bicker like children, glasses spencer, (moans), emily and rossi are mentioned bc canon means fuck all to me, i think thats it but this is my most out of pocket duo so if i'm wrong lmk a/n: just a silly little thing that i cooked up, not a masterpiece but i think its cute!! I hope u enjoy!! lmk what you think!! looooveee youuuu
“Oh, there is no way.”
Your duffel bag hits the dingy carpet as Spencer is still closing the door behind you.
“What? Is it—”
You give him a look over your shoulder, eyebrows raised as if to say, what are you going to do about this?
But he only manages to meet your eyes for a split second before they’re back to the singular queen bed, darting over the white sheets and pillows like he might find another mattress if he looks hard enough.
Sharing a room with Spencer, you can handle. You've done it before. Whenever the team has to pair up at a hotel, you two are an obvious choice. And while you occasionally butt heads, mostly you adore each other and it's great.
But sharing a bed is a whole other situation.
One you were not prepared for. And evidently, neither is he.
Watching his big anxious eyes flit around the room nervously, you feel sort of bad for your reaction. You know you can be a bit… abrasive, sometimes.
“It’s fine, I’ll just—I’ll see if I can share a bed with Emily or JJ in their room—”
Just then there’s a knock at the door. Spencer looks relieved to have something else to focus on, turning back around and quickly undoing the latch again before opening the door to reveal your favorite raven-haired SSA. Emily leans past the doorjamb, eyes immediately honing in on the awkward sleeping arrangement.
“Oh my god! You guys too?”
“What?” You and Spencer ask at the same time. Emily raises her eyebrows at this and glances between you, but otherwise doesn’t comment.
“Me and JJ only have the one bed. I thought it might just have been us.”
You frown. There goes your plan of sharing a room with them.
“What about Morgan and Garcia?”
Spencer snorts.
“Something tells me Penelope wouldn’t be too torn up about it if that's the case.”
“Hotch and Rossi?”
The room goes quiet and a little chilly as the thought disturbs everyone equally. Emily frowns deeply.
“I don’t even… I can’t picture that.”
“Can we please not try to picture it?”
“Great. Okay, well. I just wanted to make sure everyone is suffering equally. Good luck, champs.”
“Thanks,” Spencer mutters dryly. Emily smiles, eyes darting between the two of you for just a moment too long, before pushing off the door frame and disappearing from sight. Once the door is closed again, a heavy silence ensues. “I’ll… I can take the floor—”
“It’s fine, Spencer. I’m not going to make you sleep on the floor. We’re both grown-ups. Besides, we like each other, right? It’ll be like a slumber party.”
“I’ve never had one,” he admits. His glasses slip further down his nose as he frowns. Your fingers itch to push them back up.
“Then I’m happy to be your first,” you tease, facing him fully with your hand on your hip and barely resisting the urge to add, I’ll be gentle. “Do you want the shower first or can I?”
Spencer has a habit of looking you up and down like he doesn’t realize he’s doing it. Some might find it odd, but his utter lack of social graces is, lucky for him, incredibly endearing to you.
“You can have it first,” he says, meeting your eyes again. “Just don’t do that thing where you get the entire bathroom soaking wet.”
“Aw. But I love doing that. It’s my favorite part,” you tease, scooping up your bag once more.
Twenty minutes later you’re emerging from the bathroom with damp hair, clad in loose shorts and a college hoodie.
“Nice outfit,” Spencer says from the spinny-chair at the desk, examining your outfit choice with a scrutiny you wish you’d been prepared for. Really, you wish you’d known ahead of time you’d have a roommate and brought some alternate sleeping clothes. “I had no idea you felt so passionately about… Scooby Doo?”
“Shut up right now,” you grit, tossing your bag into the corner of the room and tugging your hoodie down over your cartoon-patterned shorts as far as you can.
“What?” He’s laughing as he brushes past you on his way into the bathroom, bearing his own bag. “It’s a good look for you.”
Your face is burning as you choose the side of the bed furthest from the door. Springs creak underneath your weight as you sink down, sitting with your legs hanging off the side for a moment before swinging them up onto the mattress, leaning against the headboard and side-eyeing the empty space next to you. There’s really not very much of it. The bed feels even smaller than it looks.
From the bathroom you hear the sound of the shower squeaking and starting up again—a cacophony of droplets against tile on the other side of the wall. You try not to be nervous as you imagine Spencer filling the space beside you in just a few minutes, hair wet and in pajamas. And yet you spend each second wondering if he’s almost done, wondering if the shower will finally sputter to a halt, and once it does, wondering how long it’ll be before he’s out again. It’s ridiculous how impatient you're getting—and by the time you finally watch the door knob twist you feel crazy.
“I think that was your longest shower yet, Dr. Reid.”
The teasing affords you a moment to ogle him head to toe, taking in his choice of pajamas—tonight, familiar plaid pants and an MIT crewneck—as well as his hair which has already begun to dry. Briefly you wonder if he does that thing guys do, where they lean down and haphazardly dry their hair with a towel because they have no concern for its texture whatsoever. But you kind of doubt it, because his hair always looks so soft.
“You were sitting here waiting for me?” He chuckles, and honestly you’d been expecting a shyer response. But you adapt quickly.
“Maybe I was. Big spoon or little spoon?”
“Ha-ha.” He opens a drawer in the dresser and begins unpacking his clothes into it. It's a funny habit of his. You never unpack your duffel. “You took the better side of the bed.”
“Uh, yeah. I’m the woman. I get to do that.”
“Well you should know that if an intruder breaks in, I’m not fighting him off. You’d probably have a better chance than me.”
“And my chances will be even better if he’s distracted with you first.”
“So I’m just bait?” He scoffs, looking back at you. Strands of wet hair hang so prettily around his face, like the perfect frame around a work of art. You smile sweetly from your spot on the bed before playfully biting at the air in his direction. The message goes unspoken but reads loud and clear. Of course you are. You make such good bait.
That gets a blush out of him and he has nothing else to say as he turns back to his drawer. Happily you lean back against the headboard, stretching your legs out and bouncing slightly in place. Beneath you the mattress springs groan and squeak in protest.
“I hope you're not going to be this irritating all night.”
It's clearly lighthearted, but you promptly stop and frown at his back.
“Call me irritating again and see where you end up sleeping tonight.”
“I just don’t see how you’re even more hyperactive than usual right now. Has anybody ever told you that you’re crepuscular?” Spencer asks, finally sliding the drawer shut and going to shut the overhead light off. Your eyes narrow.
“Obviously nobody has told me that.”
“It means y—”
“I’m most energetic within the few hours around dusk and dawn. Contrary to your belief, Dr. Reid, other people are also capable of looking up words in a dictionary and remembering what they mean. Are you going to stand in the corner all night or are you gonna come to bed?”
“I am,” he scoffs, clearly embarrassed and shy and embarrassed of being shy. “I’m just… you look like you kick in your sleep. And hog the blankets.”
You shrug, folding your knees to your chest and hugging them quaintly.
“I’ve never had any complaints. In fact, you should be so lucky to share a bed with me. All five star reviews, baby.”
You toss a suggestive wink in at the end, which seems garish enough to break the tension so that Spencer can stop lingering in the corner like a sleep-paralysis demon and move to carefully take his place next to you. He almost mirrors your position, but his legs are too long to quite manage your level of compactness and so they simply fold underneath him. A few silent moments go by, in which you have the dumbest smile on your face and you keep glancing over to the side, waiting for him to be looking back at you.
“This is already the least relaxed I have ever been in a bed.”
“Good thing we’re not going to sleep yet.”
Finally he looks at you, a casual mix of hesitance, concern, and moderate curiosity coloring his features.
“We’re not?”
“Oh, my god, Spencer,” you snort. “I’m not gonna molest you. We have to do slumber party stuff, remember?”
He flushes again, glancing at the digital clock in his bedside table.
“But it’s late. We should go to sleep.”
“At slumber parties you have to stay up until you literally can’t keep your eyes open anymore. Those are the rules. I don’t make them.”
Still, your insistence that you follow the international code of sleepover law goes unabided by Spencer. He simply leans over to flick off his lamp, bathing the room in darkness.
“I appreciate the effort,” he says, and your eyes haven’t adjusted but you can hear the rustle of sheets and blankets as he gets under them, “but unfortunately we have to be awake and alert in five hours.”
“You’re no fun,” you huff, but climb under your own side of the cover and scoot down until you’re flat on your back, covered in blanket and hands folded on your sternum.
Spencer doesn’t respond.
It’s silent for maybe five minutes, during which your brain doesn’t slow down at all. Maybe you are crepuscular. Or slightly nocturnal. You have nothing but energy.
In an attempt to get comfortable, you try adjusting your position.
The mattress squeaks.
You do it again.
Another squeak.
A second goes by, and now you’re intentionally jostling about, squeaking the mattress as much as you can.
“Would you stop that?” Spencer says, voice already gravelly with sleep. You manage, but you’re already devolving into a fit of giggles. “I’m going to smother you with this pillow,” he threatens, but you hear the disgruntled smile curling his words.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just not in the mood to rest.”
Another moment passes. He sighs deeply. You smile into the dark.
“What are you in the mood for?” He asks flatly, and you’ve won.
“Tell me a secret,” you immediately demand in a hushed tone, flipping on your side to face his back. “Something you’ve never told anyone else.”
“I don’t—”
“Shh! You have to whisper it. Those are the slumber party rules.”
“I don’t have any secrets,” he whispers, clearly flustered, and to your delight, rolling to face the ceiling. “None that you’d want to hear.”
“Oh, now that’s just not true. You’re an enigma, Spencer Reid. You fascinate me.”
You’re only sort of kidding.
“I… fascinate you?”
“Completely. You know, ever since you moved your desk across from mine I get distracted just staring at you and wondering what you’re thinking about. But you’re very… hard to read, sometimes. I think it’s because you’re a Scorpio.”
“The position of the stars at the time I was born has no bearing on my personality.”
“Fine,” you concede, still in a glorified stage whisper. “But that doesn’t mean you don’t display the archetypal Scorpio traits. You’re all brooding, mysterious. Kinda, I don't know... intense and sexy and unknowable…”
“Sexy?” He laughs, breaking the whisper rule. You grin and let it slide. You’d hoped he would catch that one.
“Hey,” you snap, losing the smile immediately and lightly shoving against what you hope is his shoulder. “You’re supposed to be telling me a secret, damnit. I won’t let your wiles and charm distract me from getting what I want.”
“When have you ever let anything stop you from getting what you want?”
Truly, your cheeks are going to start aching with this constant back and forth between poker-faced and huge Cheshire smile.
“Stop flirting and answer my question, Reid.”
With the amount of times you’ve made him sigh tonight he must be dizzy. You chew your lip apprehensively in the silence, picking a loose thread on your pillow. It’s so pitch black in the room, you can’t see him where he lies only a few meager inches from you. But you can feel his presence. You can feel the unexpected bass to his voice when he’s tired and speaking this lowly, which you’ve never heard before.
“All the secrets I’ve never told anyone are just… depressing.”
Your heart sinks a little at the way he swallows between words, like that in and of itself was hard to admit. Unthinkingly your hand slides into the small gap of white cotton between the two of you.
“Not very good slumber party material, I think,” he laughs self-consciously.
“You’d be surprised.”
The sentiment comes quieter and more serious than you’ve been all night. If only you had the words to tell him that he can tell you anything. That you want to hold his secrets for him under lock and key. That you would never, ever do anything less than offer him kindness and support—even if it doesn’t always seem that way when you’re teasing him.
“Do you have any secrets you’ve never told anyone else?” He murmurs eventually, so soft it could kill you.
And you do. There are plenty of dark ones, probably not all dissimilar from those he’d elected not to share only a moment ago.
But you don’t bring those up.
Instead, you decide to admit to something silly. Still, it makes you nervous as you feel it coming loose in your chest. You’ve really never told anyone this, and it’s perhaps more vulnerable than you’d realized before the words were already leaving your mouth.
“I, have…” You pause to laugh at yourself, and continue on. “I have a stuffed dragon that I take with me on every single case.”
“You do?” Spencer laughs, so loud and unexpected it almost hurts your ears, angling his head toward you. Blood rushes to your face.
“Yes. He usually sleeps in bed with me. He’s an excellent listener and has been the origin of several of my most genius breakthroughs. You remember Gibson Cooper?”
“Family annihilator from Houston?”
“Correct. He’s in prison because Oscar helped me make the Cook Creek Campground connection between the O’Hara and Diangelo families.”
“You have a stuffed profiler dragon named Oscar? Is he here?”
“He’s—I mean, I wasn’t expecting to share a room with someone.”
“So he’s in your bag.”
“Yes,” you seethe, “and I will not be introducing you to him. He doesn’t do well with men.”
“You are genuinely psychotic.”
You huff.
“Fine. I’m sorry I told you anything.”
You’re about to roll over onto your other side—but Spencer surprises you by catching the hand that had been outstretched in his direction. He carefully intertwines your fingers and squeezes gently.
“You’re right. That was mean. Thank you for telling me about Oscar.” His tone is surprisingly teasing, and you’re so uncharacteristically flustered by this rare show of physicality and affection that you can’t muster an adequate comeback. Spencer doesn’t seem to mind filling your silence, though, sounding a little more solemn now. “I’m sorry I don’t have any secrets for you.”
The way his voice gets all thin and scratchy sometimes—it’s like the earnest sincerity just pours out of him. He can’t control it. He can’t be anyone other than who he is. Maybe that’s a part of why you love him so much. You wonder if he knows how much you love him. It’s not exactly a secret—anyone on the team would be able to tell as much. You’ve been relentlessly teased for the way you are with him. For your batting lashes and your lingering touches and your unabashed flirting. But beneath it all is true affection, and nobody doubts that.
“It’s okay,” you decide with a squeeze of your own, after a moment of deliberation. “You’ll think of something. ’Cause, y’know—you’re stuck with me for at least a few more days.”
“Oh, god,” he laughs, and releases your hand, rolling over to face away from you. But you don’t mind. You’ll get lots more time to invade his personal space over the coming week or so. “Goodnight.”
“Sweet dreams,” you sing-song, turning away to face the wall with what is perhaps your biggest, stupidest smile yet.
#spencer reid#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fic#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid fanfiction#spencer reid x you#criminal minds#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fic#criminal minds imagine
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