#thank god they brought a dumpster while I was at work today so I could actually take the bag out

[averagemrfox]

Someone tell my cat that he can’t walk behind me and look up while I’m trying to spray febreeze

[frogsandfries]

In other news, this Rokr clock/calendar I want went on sale. My sister told me I don't have to pay rent this month, but I'm sure other things will come up. So I treated myself to the Rokr calendar kit and the beads for the teddy bear project.

My bead package with the dumpster green went to my previous apartment, but my mail forwarding went through--ETA: They just arrived today, basically on time. Squeeee!!

My sister ordered "some things" from Amazon. Thanks to the mail god who brought them all up. It was so many boxes.

I forgot I also ordered a color for the mini chibi posable elephant. I literally just finished patterning the teddy bear, and I don't have any scissors in my office.

Since I'm here, so yesterday, I was suggesting to my sister that I would like to make this one closet into a reading room, just a small, enclosed space where I could hang out once in a while. I understand that this is her house, her mortgage and that I've got two whole rooms to myself--which is slightly unfair, because if I quit working from home, I obviously lose the office. But also, I live and work at home and I barely leave. There's nowhere to sit in the house except the floor, because the couches are presently stuck outside. I can't get a futon because I don't have access to the vehicle. I mean.........I guess I could really splash out and order one. But a bean bag, I could just drag that around, plop down for a few hours. I just particularly love this closet in question because it's super fucking cozy with proportionally humongous windows.

I don't want to cram a ton of furniture in my bedroom. I love having that open floor space and the space already feels crowded by that radiator. I haven't even started to put my wall stuff up because I don't have enough command velcro left, but I think the space is going to feel more crowded after that. I think she forgets, because her ceiling is a high ceiling like in my office, but the bedroom is a regular eight-foot ceiling. That extra ceiling space really makes the difference. I hope some mirrors help, and maybe I'll be cheeky and stick some on the ceiling.

[ladyreapermc]

Fic: Closing Time (Johnny Utah x fem!reader)

Summary: You work at a clothing store, you get a last minute customer at closing time and sexy tims happen.

Pairing: Johnny Utah x fem!reader

Author’s Notes: So I’m slowly getting back to writing. I’m not gonna say I’m fully back just yet, but for this week at least, there will be content! Huge thanks to @toomanystoriessolittletime and @meetmeinthematinee​ for being cheerleaders and giving me early feedback on this! 

Wordcount: 3125

Warnings: smut. oral sex (F! receiving); dirty talk; unprotected sex with strangers (don’t do this kids!); sex in inappropriate places.

Most days you quite enjoyed it when there was barely any movement at the store. It gave you the opportunity of just being by yourself, reading a book, or enjoying some music or studying for college, things that you didn’t always have the privacy of doing at your dorm because your roommate seemed to always be around. Even during the summer and what was up with that? Didn’t she have better things to do?

She wasn’t like you, who actually had to work to put yourself through college and took some extra jobs during the summer so you could have some savings for the following term when all you managed to get were part-time jobs that you had fit in between classes and paid shit.

Fortunately, at the shop, you had some peace and time for yourself. It was a tiny, hole-in-the-wall sort of place around Venice Beach where tourists could get some shirts and other knickknacks to take back home and locals surfers could find cheap clothing and supplies for a day out on the beach. Most days, you worked from 9-5 and after your shift, you could head to the beach, spread your towel on the sand and enjoy the gorgeous Californian sunset. However, as the summer winded out and the fall winds blew the scalding hot weather into simmering heat, your boss let you close a little early, especially on Tuesdays, when most tourists had already headed home and the new arrivals hadn’t landed yet so there were barely any customers around.

Your plan today had been to finish your reading for class and start the new crime thriller you picked up at the used books store on your way to work. Except, today you were just too restless to focus. You must have reread the same paragraph of your textbook twenty times before you gave up and set it aside, giving the other book a go, but it was just as unsuccessful at holding your attention.

So instead, you moved around the cramped space, adjusting the decoration items, dusting off shelves, and refolding every single shirt in the display until it was perfectly symmetrical while you willed time to move faster so you could end this day. Maybe it was the heatwave that had made an appearance turning the air in the shop stifling and all you had to help you was an old and slow fan that made more noise than blow air. The A/C was busted and your boss still hadn’t called someone to fix it.

Another possibility was the fact that you had to keep the glass doors opened to help circulate a little air and every time any kind of wind blew or someone walked in, it brought with them the crisp smell of salt and sand that always made you ache for the ocean and fight against the temptation of just abandoning everything and heading for the beach so you could cool off taking a dip in the deliciously cold water. Either way, you kept checking the slow ticking of the clock hands, counting the seconds before you could turn the closed sign.

When the minute hand finally hit twelve, you let out a cheer, jumping off your stool and taking a step towards the door. You always locked the doors first to discourage most last-minute walk-ins while you closed the register, put away the money in the back office safe, and slipped out of the store through the back door, taking any garbage with you to throw in the dumpster outside.

Before you could move from behind the counter, a man stepped into the store and you groaned low in your throat. Of-fucking-course! It was like they stood in wait to come in at the precise moment you were about to head out.

“Hey, you’re still open, right?” He asked, pushing the overgrown dark hair back from his forehead and offering you an unsure smile. You felt the urge to lie and say that no, you were closed and he should come back tomorrow.

“Yeah, sure.” You said instead placing your best and most fake seller’s smile. “Feel free to look around and let me know if you need help.”

“Thanks!” He replied, flashing a wider smile that showed a small dimple, before moving towards the shirts in the display while you made your way to the main entrance, flipped the sign, and locked the door to bar any other walk-ins.

You hung back while the guy browsed the options, taking a moment to assess him. He didn’t look like a tourist, but also not fully like a local. Most Californian guys that you knew had the most horrifying hair cuts or bleach jobs you had ever seen and that was not the case for the man in front of you.

His hair was dark brown, a little shaggy from too much exposure to sun and salt and it flopped a little over his forehead, just above his eyes. He wore a grey cropped t-shirt that had definitely seen better days and struggled to contain his broad shoulders, showing a peek of toned abs. His jeans were ridiculously tight and hung low on his slender hips, the light-wash of the denim accentuating the perfect bubble butt and for the love of God, you needed to get laid. Badly.

“Excuse me,” he called, startling you and you prayed he hadn’t noticed the way you were checking his ass just now. “Do you have this one in black?”

“Yeah, sure.” You moved towards the drawers. “What’s your usual size? Medium or large?”

“I think large should be good,” he replied and when you turned around with the requested shirt, he was just standing there, barechested, his top hanging from his shoulder and you hoped your gasp wasn’t as loud as it sounded in your head.

“Here you go,” you croaked, offering him the shirt. “We do have a fitting room…” you gestured towards the small cubicle to the rear of the store.

“Oh right!” He glanced over as he pulled the shirt on. “Do you mind if I try them out here, though?”

“Not at all,” you forced your voice to sound somewhat normal.

“Awesome!”

Damn! He wasn’t just fucking hot. He was also cute, the wide grin he just flashed giving him a boyish look that was only enhanced by the almond-shaped chocolate-colored eyes. Biting your lip, you watched as he turned side to side in front of the mirror, checking himself out.

“It think is a little too big,” he said, meeting your gaze. “What do you think?”

“Well…” you cleared your throat and moved closer so you could look at him through the mirror. “If you want it more fitted, then yeah, probably a smaller size would be best. Want me to get it?”

“Yeah, thanks.”

Once again, by the time you turned back to him, he was shirtless, the garment he had just tried neatly folded and resting on the shelf as he took a look at some other shirts, his attention snapping at you when he noticed you coming closer to hand him the new shirt, giving you a glimpse of a pale, sunken scar running down his abs that stopped just above his belly button and that drew attention to the small trail of fine dark hairs that disappeared under the waist of his jeans and holy shit! He was bare beneath those jeans.

“Bike accident,” he commented as he took the shirt that you offered and you met his eyes in confusion.

“What?” You asked, mouth suddenly dry.

“The scar,” he clarified, putting on the shirt and his lips were tilted into a slight smirk. “That was what you were staring at, right?”

“Right,” you agreed, feeling your face burning. “I’ll just head to the register and give you some privacy.”

I don’t mind,” he shrugged, turning to the mirror. “This is better. What do you think?” He turned towards you, giving you a full view of the cotton fabric covering his muscles, looking almost as if painted on him.

“Sure...” you swallowed hard, trying not to stare. “If you prefer it more fitted...”

“I do,” pulling the shirt off and once again giving you the glorious view of his torso. “I’ll take it.”

You took the shirt to the register and he followed, pausing only to pick up his own, which he had discarded on a nearby hanger. You were expecting him to put it back on, but he just threw it over his shoulder, reaching for his wallet as you registered the sale and tried not to stare.

“Is that the only camera you have around here?” He asked, gesturing to a point above your left and you glanced at the object before nodding, exchanging the money he gave you for the paper bag with his purchase.

“Yeah, why?”

“So basically...” he started, taking a step to the side, closer to the fitting room. “I’m completely out of sight over here?”

“Basically, yeah,” you frowned a little, stepping away from the counter. “Why? Are you planning to rob the place? Because let me tell you, there’s not much worth...” You trailed off with a surprised squeak as he tugged on your hand, pulling you over to the blindspot and nearly pressed against his strong chest.

“Because honestly, I never really gave a fuck about the shirt. I just thought you were beautiful and wanted to ask your number when I walked in, but you looked kind pissed so I got cold feet,” he confessed with a rueful smile.

“So you decided to just get mostly naked in front of me?” You snorted, shaking your head and he shrugged.

“Needed to make sure you might be interested and considering the way you were eyeing me earlier, it looked like you saw something you liked.”

“You’re really sure of yourself, aren’t you?” You arched an eyebrow at him, not ready to concede just yet. Even if the heat of his body and the smell of sea breeze whiffing off his skin were driving you crazy.

“Only when I’m right,” he flashed you a lopsided smirk and just waited, gazing into your eyes, making it clear that the next step was yours.

Part of you screamed that it was crazy to even consider hooking up with a guy that just walked into your store, no matter how hot he was, but it had been a ridiculously long time since you last had sex and he was so fucking hot, the scent of his golden skin intoxicating and his heat was making you dizzy with want as you looked him up and down, noticing the volume pressing against the denim of his pants.

“We might not have cameras, but the windows are see-through, so get your ass to the fitting room while I finish closing up.”

He flashed a victorious smirk and nodded, heading towards the back while you rushed through the steps of securing the store before joining him.

Your heart was pounding with anticipation as you made your way towards the back, pushing away the curtain that blocked the small space of the fitting room and finding him perched on the low stool that you kept there so customers could put down their things, facing the full-length mirror, legs spread, jeans undone, revealing the bush of dark hairs surrounding his long and thick cock.

You nearly whimpered at the sight, your center pulsing in want as you leaned against the doorframe, watching him as he run his left hand up and down his shaft, head tilted back, breathing hard, eyes hooded. He was such a beautiful and debauched sight that you felt the urge to photograph him, capture that sensuality.

“Are you just gonna stand there and watch?” He asked, eyes meeting yours through the reflective surface.

“You seemed to be doing fine on your own,” you teased stepping into the tight space, fingers itching to touch all that glorious skin.

“I did not just spend most of my afternoon at the corner diner, drinking burned coffee just to jerk off in front of you,” he declared, standing up and turning your way.

“Ohhh, so this was premeditated?” You asked, kicking off your sneakers as he reached for you and you stumbled against his chest.

“A little bit, yeah,” he admitted, large hand hot against your hips and you wanted to feel it against your flesh. “You probably don’t remember, but I was here last week and you had to bend over to get something from one of the lower drawers...” he let out a soft groan, hands moving to your ass and squeezing lightly. “Fuck! I don’t think I ever popped a boner so fast in my life. I had to get out.”

You vaguely remembered that. There was so much coming and going in this place, it was hard to keep track of faces, but customers just taking off after asking to see something usually caused an impression. If you weren’t about to get fucked after six months, you would be more pissed.

“So you decided to come back when I was alone and seduce me?” you asked, running your hands over his chest and abs, scratching it slightly and goosebumps rose in his skin as he hissed.

“Yeah,” he spoke in a low voice as his hands move to the button of your jeans. “I’ve been thinking about you all week,” he slid your fly down and your breath caught in your throat. “I thought about bending you over that counter and fucking you until you’re screaming.” His fingers skimmed over your cunt, just a soft touch, but you gasped and arched your hips forward, holding onto his arms to steady yourself. “I thought about it eating your pussy and your ass until you’re begging me to fuck you.”

Those words were whispered right against your ear, before he changed your positions, crowding you against the mirror and pushing your jeans down to your thighs before he once against skimmed his fingers over covered sex, making you ache for him.

“What do you think about that?” He asked, lips brushing your cheek in an almost chaste kiss, completely opposed to the lewdness of his hand exploring your cunt. “Do you want it?”

“If you’re as good with your tongue at eating pussy like you are at talking dirty, then I maybe I do,” you declared, tired of his teasing and you felt his smirk as he gracefully slid to his knees in front of you.

You didn’t manage to get another word out before he shoved your panties down to join your jeans and his lips firmly connected to your clit. He gave it a sharp suck and you groaned, burying your fingers into his hair to keep yourself on your feet as your brain short-circuited and your knees turned to jelly.

He was very good at eating you out, especially because he was very attentive to every sound you made, every tightening of your grip on his hair, and roll of your hips to nudge him into going faster or slower, harder or softer... It wasn’t long before he reached that perfect alternation of fast flickering against your clit and slower and broad strokes of his tongue over your entrance and lips, a combination that drove you crazy.

You were whimpering and moaning, legs quaking with the alternating urge to close them around his face to keep him trapped there pleasuring you forever or spreading them wider so he could have more space to work, but the edges of your jeans were digging into the lower part of your knees, signaling you that that was as far as they could go.

As if reading your thoughts or maybe he just realized he would need more room, he shoved your pants down and helped you to kick them off so you could be completely free of the garment. And didn’t you two looked like a mismatched pair, with you standing there wearing only your top while he knelt in front of you, his jeans still on.

Once your pants were off, he hooked your right thigh over his shoulder, pressing his mouth even harder against your cunt, flickering his tongue over your clit before dipping it in between your lips, gathering the juices soaking your sex like a starved man.

“Fuck! I’m so close...” you hissed, rolling your hips, seeking more because that tight knot deep inside you was about to snap and from the way you ached and shuddered, your muscles tensing, you knew it would be a hard one.

“Yeah?” He mumbled against your core, his breath against your overheated skin making you shiver as he pushed two fingers inside you. “Gonna cum all over my mouth?”

He pistoled his fingers in and out at a fast pace, crooking inwards with every down motion, his tongue matching his rhythm against your clit and it was that made you snap as you bit down on your fist to stop yourself from shouting as your body was flooded with pleasure and all you knew was the unbelievable bliss that surrounded you. Stars bust behind your closed lids, the air came out of your lungs in short gushes as you fought hard not to slide down to the ground because your legs felt like jelly.

“Ok?” he asked, making you finally snap your eyes open to look at him.

He was sitting on his heels, face still glistening with your orgasm, his lips swollen and red from the abuse. His cock was rock hard, red, and leaking and you really wanted to return the favor.

“Way better than ok,” you replied with a gasp. “My turn?” To your surprise, he shook his head and got to his feet.

“Tonight, the only place I’m cumming is in that pussy,” he announced against your ear and shivered with anticipation. “So let’s get out of this fucking store and go to my place?”

“Fuck yes!” you grinned breathlessly at him as you reached for your jeans and he buttoned his over his hard cock and that couldn’t be comfortable.

“I’m Johnny, by the way,” he said. “Johnny Utah. Just in case you want to know what to shout when I fuck your brains out later.”

You rolled your eyes at his cheeky smirk and moved closer to him, once fully clothed, the only evidence of your recent climax was the sweat cooling on your skin and the stupid grin that refused to leave your face.

“I think I like you more when your mouth is busy with something other than talking,” you declared and before Johnny could manage a reply, you silenced him with a kiss, tasting yourself in his tongue.

xxx

If you enjoyed this work, please consider reblogging and/or commenting please. Feedback gives life to us writers!

[waitimcomingtoo]

In Case You Don’t Live Forever

~chapter thirteen rewritten~

Pairing: Peter Parker x Venom!reader

Synopsis: you are Peters greatest love and Spider-Man’s greatest enemy

Series Masterlist

You woke up when bright lights began to penetrate your eyelids. You raised a hand to shield your eyes from the light and slowly opened them. You saw nothing but pure white walls that seemed to go on forever. You were slowly regaining feeling in your body as your eyes adjusted to the lights.

“My leg!” You gasped and looked down at your previously broken leg. It was fully healed, as were the rest of your injuries. You didn’t feel any pain anymore.

“Where are we?” You asked out loud. For the first time in a year, you got no response.

“Venom?” You asked again. She always answered. You were beginning to worry.

“Venom whats going on?” You asked. Still no answer. You tried to turn into Venom but nothing happened. You felt white hot fear shoot through your body.

“Oh my God. I died?” You whispered. “I died when I gave Venom to Peter.”

You suddenly felt yourself being pulled forward, as if attached to a string, before stopping abruptly. You found yourself in front of a door that was painted white. You pushed it open and walked into your old apartment, the one you shared with Andy. Speak of the devil…

“Hi babe.” Andy chirped. He kissed your lips as he passed you. You immediately touched your fingertips to your lips. You hadn’t kissed him like that in so long. He was once your boyfriend but now he felt more like a stranger.

“Hi.” You said wearily, coming out as more of a question.

“You ready?” He asked as he tossed you your shirt. You caught it clumsily and looked at it. It was a button down that you wore for important events.

“Ready for what?” You wondered as you rubbed your thumbs over the material.

“Don’t you have that interview with that guy today?” He tilted his head. “I thought you were gonna write a puff piece about his rocket.”

“My interview?” You were still very confused as you looked around your old apartment.

“Yep. So are you gonna do it?” Andy took a seat and looked at you expectantly.

“Do what?” You asked.

“Choose me.” He said simply.

“Choose you? Choose you for what? You know what, it doesn’t matter. I would never choose you.” You shook your head. “What’s going on?”

Andy’s face fell and a wall dropped down in front of you, between you and him. You slammed your hands on the wall in frustration and another door appeared. You opened the door and walked into your childhood home. You saw followed the sound of humming into your old bedroom, where you found your mother in a rocking chair.

“There you are.” She smiled sweetly as she rubbed her pregnant belly. “Could you hand me the lotion?”

You looked at her in bewilderment as you handed her a bottle of lotion. You were in a nursery, fit for a baby that hadn’t arrived yet.

“Thank you.” She accepted the bottle. “My little Y/n is almost here.”

“I’m here, mom.” You knelt down beside her with tears in your eyes. “I’m right here.”

“But are you staying?” She asked as she rubbed the lotion into her stomach.

“What?” You whispered in confusion. She finally looked at you. It was the first time you had ever looked in your mothers eyes.

“Are you choosing me, Y/n?” She asked, face void of emotion.

“I’m sorry.” You shook your head. “I can’t.”

“Oh.” She said disappointedly. She stood up suddenly and walked out the bedroom door. You ran after her but when you went through the door, you found yourself in Peters bedroom. He came in and closed the door behind him.

“Hey beautiful.” He smiled. “Have you seen my-“

“Yes.” You blurted and Peter looked at you quizzically.

“Sorry what?” He asked.

“Wasn’t that your question? If I’m choosing you?”

“It was.” Peter nodded as he suddenly thought of something. “You gave Venom to me. Why?”

“Because you were dying.” You said as if it were obvious.

“So were you.” Peter bargained.

“Your life matters more.” You stated, surprising yourself on how quickly you answered.

“Avengers don’t trade lives.” Peter said firmly.

“I’m no Avenger. What good have I done in the world? I saved San Francisco from one guy with a rocket and I think of myself as some kind of hero? You said it yourself Peter.” You shrugged sadly. “I will never be the hero. I will always be the monster. And the monster always has to die at the end of the story.”

“Who’s writing this story?” Peter asked you.

“Me. I write the stories.” You were definitely annoyed now. “Why is everyone asking me these questions? Where am I?”

“So why did you give Venom to me? Why not write a happier ending?” Peter questioned.

“Because.” You said dumbly. You didn’t even know the answer.

“Because?” He repeated.

“Because! Because I was dying! Venom couldn’t heal me and we both knew it. She’d die if I died. So I gave her to you.” You yelled. “If you were her host then she could heal you and survive at the same time. I took myself out of the equation. I made the decision. That’s how I chose to end my story. Are you happy now?”

You never wanted to raise your voice at Peter but you didn’t like everyone poking around in your head. Something weird was going on and you weren’t even sure if he was real.

“So you chose to die?” Peter raised a judgmental eyebrow. All his questions came out in a way that sounded like he damn well knew the answer.

“I chose save you and Venom.” You answered for what felt like the millionth time.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.” You grumbled.

“Yes you do. Why?” He said again.

“I said I don’t know.” You yelled.

“Bullshit!” He yelled. Peter never raised his voice at you either. This definitely wasn’t your Peter.

“Because I’d rather die than lose you! Either of you.” You shouted before lowering your voice. “You and Venom mean more to me than anything else ever has. Nothing compares to you. So I gave myself up so in order for you two to live. That’s why.”

He looked satisfied with your answer, finally.

“I know.” Peter nodded simply.

“You know? Then why did you ask?” You were beyond frustrated at that point.

“Because you didn’t know. You think you chose me.” Peter laughed.

“I did chose you.” You argued.

“No. You didn’t.” Peter stated.

“Then who did I chose?” You said angrily. You knew you chose Peter. You just wanted this trip to be over. Your head was splitting.

“Us.” Venoms voice came into your head. You turned to the mirror and saw Venom looking back at you. The background melted away to a black room with just a mirror.

“You chose us. You sacrificed yourself to save someone else. Do you know what that makes you?” Venom asked you.

“Stupid?” You said sarcastically.

“A hero.” Venom replied. You rolled your eyes.

“I will never be the hero.” You hissed.” Peter nearly died because of me. And he would’ve died if it weren’t for you. I’m the one who put him in danger. Me. I’m a monster.”

“Just because you’re a monster doesn’t mean you have to do monstrous things.” Venom reminded you.

“How am I seeing all of this?” You wondered. “How are you here? Aren’t I dead?”

“No. You’re just in such bad pain that you’re hallucinating. None of this actually happened.”

“What?” You gasped. How could it all be fake? It felt so real.

“I’m kidding.” Venom chuckled. “You’re just unconscious. It’s time to wake up.”

“Wake up?” Your vision began to blur again and the room faded back to black.

“I’ll be watching over you.” Your mother’s voice said was the last thing you heard before you fell back to sleep.

You woke up with a jolt. You were still on the pavement outside of the Oscorp building. You heard the faint sounds of a commotion on the roof. Lots a roars. A few cackles here and there. You let out a huff of breath.

“I’m not gonna die.” You grunted. “Not like this.”

With great agony, you picked yourself up. Your hand was still broken but Venom had healed your leg. You doubled tapped your chest and your suit formed around your body once again. You shot a web at the building and swung on it until you reached the front. The doors were locked being as it was nighttime and no one was around. You looked at your reflection in the window and sighed.

“No fear.” You shouted as you head butted the window. It didn’t break but it did give you a throbbing headache. You groaned and shot a web at a dumpster and threw it through the window. The glass shattered all around you.

“That’ll work too.” You shrugged before climbing through the broken glass and limping over to the elevator. Every step you took brought on more pain but you were high on adrenaline. You got in the elevator and pressed the button for the roof. Cheesy elevator music filled your ears as you rode.

Meanwhile on the roof, Peter was putting up a second fight with Carnage. Venoms powers mixed with his Spider-Man powers gave him an advantage. He was stronger, bigger, and faster than ever before. Carnage was beginning to weaken.

“Y/n has been down there an awfully long time. I wonder what’s become of her.” Carnage tried to distract Peter. Peter panicked instantly. He didn’t know how he bonded with Venom. All he knew is he was barely conscious on the sidewalk one minute and climbing the building as Venom the next. In the heat of the moment, he’d forgotten all about you.

“Where is she?” Peter demanded.

“I threw her off a while ago. Haven’t seen her since. Didn’t you tell me she and Venom would die if they were separated? I don’t know though. Venom seems fine to me.” Carnage taunted the boy.

“Venom, what happened? Where’s Y/n?” Peter asked the Symbiote desperately.

“You can’t stop fighting now. I’ll tell you about to later.” Venom answered, knowing Peter would drop everything and rush to your side if he knew the truth.

“I thought you only said “we”.” Peter wondered out loud.

“”We” is for me and Y/n only.” Venom said firmly. She missed you dearly. All she could do was hope you were still alive.

“Fair enough.” Peter answered.

He had been so caught up in his conversation with Venom that he didn’t notice Carnage charging at him. Carnage pulled at Venoms skin and successfully yanked her off of Peter. He threw Venom off into the distance and grabbed Peter by the neck.

“Don’t waste your time with the bitch. Who cares about Y/n? Girls are nothing but trouble. You’re better off if she’s dead. Women are good for absolutely nothing. All they do is bite your head off.” Carnage growled at Peter. Peter was wining and he was getting desperate.

Peter was about to jump to your defense and annihilate Carnage with an essays worth of reasons why women were amazing when he heard someone behind him clear their throat.

“He’s right, Peter. Absolutely right.” You said suavely. You strutted over to Carnage and Peter, checking your nails as you walked. Peter looked at you with pride and then at Carnage with a look that said “you’re finished.”

“And well,” you shrugged with open arms, “Ain’t I a woman?”

Before Carnge could speak, Peter kicked him in the groin for the second time that evening. You took no time in grabbing Carnage and pulling him off Cletus. You shoved Cletus towards Peter and held Carnage up. He was defenseless in his goo state. You smiled wickedly as you transformed back into Venom. Then, you did just as you promised.

You bit his head off.

You chewed Carnage and swallowed him before tossing the rest of him in the fire. He burned up and dissolved into the fire with a shrill hiss. You smiled proudly at your work but your smile quickly fell when you looked up and saw Cletus with a knife to Peters throat.

“Wait! Kill me too or I’ll slice his throat. Please! I can’t go back to prison.” Cletus begged.

“No, Cletus. I’m not going to kill you. I would never hurt you.” You said cautiously as you slowly approached Cletus.

“We’re saving your life, idiot.” Peter sassed. Cletus tightened his grip and Peter yelped.

“Don’t! Life in prison isn’t living.” Cletus cried.

“Killing people isn’t living either. You have to stop this Cletus. We want to help you.” Peter interjected.

“Why? I don’t deserve your help. Did you ever see what Shelly looked like? If you weren’t my friend, you would’ve been my target.” Cletus shouted at you.

“You would never hurt me. I believe that. But you can’t hurt Peter either. Peter didn’t do anything to you. He didn’t laugh at you or reject you, right?” You tried to reason with Cletus and talk him down.

“You think you would’ve been spared? You wouldn’t. I’m a cold blooded killer baby. I’ll kill your boyfriend right now to prove it. You’d kill me if I did that, wouldn’t you?” His crazy eyes were wide with excitement. “You’d eat me on the spot. I know you, Y/n. I know how you work. Carnage told me that Symbiotes mate for life. Well how about I kill your mate as you watch? Would you still try to save me? Huh, girl? Would you?”

“I couldn’t have pulled Carnage off of you as easily as I did if you didn’t try to let him go.” You pointed out. “You wanted to be free from him. It’s okay, Cletus. You’re free now. Peter and I freed you. So don’t do anything stupid okay? Put the knife down. The police are on their way.”

“They are? Why?” Peter asked. Of course he was opening dialogue while being threatened with a knife.

“Someone threw a dumpster through the window.” You answered him.

“Oh my God really? Who would do that?” Peter wondered.

“I have no idea.” You deadpanned.

“Please just kill me. I deserve it.” Cletus brought the attention back to himself.

“No one deserves it.” You shouted. Before Cletus could protest, something red and crispy jumped of the fire and latched onto Peters leg. You knew you hadn’t succeeded in killing Carnage, but it was too late. Peter was yanked towards the roaring fire and you weren’t fast enough to get to him. Everything began to move in slow motion. Peters body flew through the air like a rag doll. You began to run to him but you knew you’d never make it it time. Then, out of nowhere, Cletus jumped towards Peter and grabbed Carnage. They both tumbled into the fire. You heard the screams from Cletus and Carnage as they burned to ashes together. You ran to Peter and helped him up, both of your eyes trained on the fire.

“Is he-“ you began.

“He saved me.” Peter gasped.

“Are they dead?” You wondered out loud.

“Karen, extinguisher.” Peter called.

The spider on Peters chest came off and hovered over the fire. A white substance shot out of it and put out the fire. There was nothing but a burnt mark on the ground when it was done. Both Cletus and Carnage were gone.

“Did-did we just win?” You asked.

“I think we did.” Peter said in disbelief.

You ran towards each other and embraced. He picked you up and you wrapped your legs around his torso. He held you tightly as you heard police sirens approaching the building.

“I thought I was gonna lose you.” You mumbled in his ear.

“I thought I already lost you. How did you find Venom?” Peter asked as he scanned your body for injuries.

“Right as I walked off the elevator, something hit me in the face that felt like a wet cat. Sure enough, it was Venom.” You laughed. Peter sighed in relief.

“That was lucky.” Peter commented.

“Not really. We always find each other.” You smiled fondly at Venom and she smiled back at you.

“How did I get Venom?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” You lied.

”You’re lying. Your heart rate went up. How did I get Venom?” Peter asked again, with more force this time.

“I…transferred her to you.” You admitted.

“What?” His eyes widened. “Why? I didn’t even know you could do that.”

“We can when we have to. I felt we had to.” You told him.

“Why?”

“You were hurt.” You said simply.

“What about you?” Peter asked, always concerned for your safety.

“What about me?” You laughed. “You and I were both hurt and Venom could only heal one of us. She would’ve died if she stayed with me.”

“Why wouldn’t you let her heal me and then take her back?” Peter asked.

“Because I just wanted to keep you safe.” You yelled from an anger you didn’t know was building. Peter’s eyes softened and he no longer looked confused. “All I was thinking in that moment is that you were hurt and I could help you. I wasn’t thinking about me or Carnage or anything else. Just you and your safety.”

“Woah.” Peter stumbled back. “I think I just realized why Mr. Stark treats me like a kid.”

“Love makes you do crazy things.” You shrugged. “He’s strict with you because he wants to protect you, not because he doesn’t believe in you.”

“I shouldn’t listened the first 15 times he told me that.” Peter laughed but his face suddenly fell flat. “Y/n, I have to tell you something.”

“What is it, Pete?” You put a hand on his cheek.

“Almost dying made me realize that I want to be with someone else.” Peter said apologetically.

“What? Who?” You were crushed, withdrawing your hand immediately. Peter smiled proudly at himself when he saw your reaction.

“Your mom.” He delivered in true Gen Z fashion.

“My mom is dead, dickhead.” You said bluntly.

“Oh my God.” Peter stuttered. “I totally forgot I am so sorry please-“

You cut him off by rushing into his arms and pressing your lips to his.

“I’m only teasing. I always appreciate a good “your mom” joke.” You assured him. “Plus, I saw her like five minutes ago.”

“Wait, what?” Peter jutted his head back in surprise.

“Don’t worry about it.” You waved your hand in dismissal. “I think we’ve had enough crazy for one night. Can we just go inside and-“

“Watch The Princess Bride and cuddle?” Peter asked hopefully.

“I was gonna say have sex and make brownies, but your thing works too.” You smiled innocently as you pulled him towards the stairs to get off the roof.

“Yeah.” Peter gulped, realizing he jumped the gun. “Or your thing.”

“Nah.” You teased him. “I haven’t seen The Princess Bride in forever.”

“Me either.” He nodded. “Or we could do your thing.”

“Do you want to go to my place or yours?” You still ignored his pleas.

“Doesn’t matter to me.” He shrugged. “You should pick since you make such good suggestions. Speaking of suggestions, we should do your thing.”

You couldn’t help but laugh as you left the building, carefully stepping over the glass from the window you smashed.

“You know what, Peter?” You said as you looked at him with a smile. “If I have to be people eating alien, I’m glad I can do it with you by my side.”

“Thanks, Y/n.” He laughed a little. “That means a lot.”

You stopped him and put your arms around his neck, pulling him close to you.

“I mean it.” You said softly. “I’m glad to have you as my partner in crime.”

“I’m glad I have you too.” He smiled shyly before leaning in to kiss you.

“Come on.” You took his hand and pulled him in the direction of your apartment. “Let’s go do my thing.”

[keyboardink]

“oblivious” [part two]

[ part one / part two ]

kairi has a crush on her best friend, but she doesn’t seem to notice.

pairing: kairi “valkyrie” imahara x reader / media: apex legends

genre: angst & fluff (this part is more fluff!) / word count: 1.6k / rating: pg / warnings: none :)

a/n: once again, this was requested by @multifandombtchedits ! this is the fluff you’ve all been waiting for!! if you like this, check out more of my writing here!

> Y/N : hey are we still on for movie night?

> Y/N : unless youre still on that date lol

You decided the "lol" would hide whatever terrible feeling was brewing in your lungs. You didn't know how to pinpoint it. Was it hurt? Anger? Jealousy? Why would you even be jealous? It's not like you didn't get this exact same feeling whenever she was talking about her latest hookup, right?

You were back at your place, laying on your bed, trying to pay attention to a random TV show in order to distract yourself from thinking about Kairi. It was a few hours after she had walked out on you at lunch. You'd been wallowing in nervous jitters since then, but she was the only person you wanted to talk to about the thoughts bouncing around in your head. You were worried about what had gone down at lunch, so when you did finally text her, you tried to avoid any touchy subjects. You waited for what felt like hours before your phone buzzed.

> KAIRI : yeah we're on. my place instead tho?

You let out an exhale, thankful that she didn't seem to be upset anymore. You and her had weekly movie nights, another tradition just like your lunch break meet-ups. You alternated hosting every week, and this week would've been your turn. Guess a bunch of stuff didn't follow the ordinary schedule today.

> Y/N : i'll bring the popcorn 😊

You rolled off your bed and walked to your closet, searching for an outfit. You knew you could show up in sweats and have it not matter to her, but the tension in your chest urged you to look at least a smidge more presentable than usual.

Half an hour later, you knocked on the door of her apartment, wearing a comfy t-shirt and tight leggings that she always complimented you on. Casual so you didn't look like you were trying too hard, but nice enough that you didn't look like you had a dumpster in place of a closet.

She opened the door, smiling at the sight of you. There was a hint of hesitancy in the way her lips turned up, like she was still thinking about lunch, but you decided it was your mind playing tricks on you. She was dressed in a similar casual-but-cute outfit: black joggers and a graphic tee that she had turned into a crop top with scissors. You saw a sliver of her stomach that made your knees weak.

She moved out of the way to let you in, and you entered like it was your own home. She had already set up the cushions on the couch for your usual set-up, complete with a 2-liter soda bottle on the coffee table and the lights dimmed. Before she followed you to the couch, she grabbed a large bowl from the kitchen counter for the popcorn you brought.

You plopped on the couch, ripping open the bag almost immediately. She held the bowl out to you, and you proceeded to pour the popcorn into it. She kept it between the two of you on the couch as she reached over to press play on the remote. Neither of you spoke, mainly because the only thing on both of your minds was what you started discussing at lunch. You just sat together, her on your left side, keeping distance as you watched the movie in silence.

You both would laugh at the jokes when they were delivered, but you couldn't bring yourself to fully focus on the movie. Your mind was in another place, your leg shaking at the same pace as your racing thoughts.

"Alright," she spoke suddenly, turning the volume down. "What's up?"

"What do you mean?"

She picked up the bowl and placed it on the coffee table. She rested her elbow on the back of the couch, twisting her body to face you. "Your leg has been making the popcorn sound like maracas since you got here. I know you. Something's on your mind, so what is it?"

I know you. The statement gave you butterflies.

"It's nothing," you said. Your cheeks flushed, embarrassed that she had taken note of your nervous habit and yet touched by the way she had picked up on the small details. You second-guessed your lie. You didn't want to have her walk out on you again, but you had to say what was on your mind. Plus, it was her apartment - she couldn't walk out, right? Just go for it. "How was your date?"

"My date?"

"Yeah, the one you left our lunch for?"

She raised her eyebrows and nodded, as if she was just remembering it. "Oh... it didn't happen."

Your brow furrowed and the corners of your mouth turned down. "Did she stand you up?"

"No, uh..." She played with her hair at the back of her neck, staring at the floor. "It just didn't."

"Oh. Well, I'm sorry," you replied, unsure of what to say.

She shrugged. "How was your date?"

"I didn't have one?"

"Sure, didn't that coworker who asked for your number also ask you out while she was at it?"

"What are you talking about? You know if anything like that had happened, I would've told you. We're best friends, Kairi."

She pursed her lips, silent. She understood the hidden jab underneath your statement, realizing that her lie must've hurt you a bit more than she thought it would.

"I didn't have a date," she confessed, finally meeting your eyes.

"What?"

She wiped her palms on the couch. "I made it up. I just got... jealous, I guess."

"Jealous?" You almost laughed. She never struck you as the jealous type. She was cool, calm, collected Kairi. Always had been.

"Yeah," she muttered, her cheeks starting to flush.

"Why would you be jealous? You go out with other girls all the time."

"I used to. Not anymore."

You look at her, your confusion written all over your face. You stayed quiet, waiting for her to elaborate.

"Months ago, yeah, I did," she continued. "But then... then I couldn't stop thinking about you. I kept wishing it was you instead of some random girl, and I knew that wasn't fair to them or me, so I stopped. I only told you I kept seeing them because I wanted to make you jealous."

Something in your chest lit up at her confession. This whole time, she hadn't been seeing anyone and it was all because of you, and you had never even noticed.

You laughed. "I mean, it worked, but... God, I really am oblivious, huh?"

She laughed with you, the nervous tension in the air dissolving. "Tell me about it." She smiled at you, but when you met her eyes she suddenly tensed again. The realization that she had just told you one of her biggest secrets came crashing down over her. The fears that you wouldn't feel the same, that you wouldn't stay friends started to rise in her chest.

You noticed her nervousness and shifted closer to her. You placed your elbow on the back of the couch to mirror her and rested your hand on hers. You gave her a sweet smile, silently telling her that everything was okay.

She smiled in reply, some of her confidence returning. "Can I kiss you?" she asked, searching your eyes for any sign of doubt or hesitancy. You nodded, and she leaned in to meet you, your lips finally connecting. Her lips were soft like you had always imagined them to be. Your mouths fit together like puzzle pieces, always meant to have been together. Her touch was gentle and kind, like she was trying not to break you. You smiled against the kiss, and she couldn't stop herself from doing the same. You burst into giggles, the shock of the situation finally hitting you.

"What? Am I that bad?" She asked, leaning away.

"Of course not." You leaned forward to her, cupping her cheek in your hand. "I just can't believe we just kissed."

"We don't have to change anything, you know," she quickly said as if trying to cover up a mistake. "If you don't feel that way, we don't-"

You cut her off with another kiss, slightly harder than the first but just as sweet and genuine. You pulled away and whispered, "This is fine, Kairi. You don't have to worry."

"Well, good," she replied with a grin, "because I'm pretty much in love with you, ya know."

She froze, realizing what she just said. The entire atmosphere seemed to be on pause. Even the subtle sounds from the movie stopped. Confessing that she wanted to make you jealous was one thing, but confessing her love was a much larger secret.

You couldn't stop your cheeks from turning pink as your lips spread into a wide smile. Your heart swelled and fluttered, almost making you dizzy.

"You don't normally say that to your one-night-stands, right?" Of course the only thing that came to your mind was a joke. Your best friend just told you she's in love with you, and you responded with a joke.

"No," she choked out, still nervous.

"Well, good," you echoed her words from earlier, "because I'm pretty much in love with you, too."

Her expression softened, all of her tension melting away. She beamed at you, unable to contain the joy she felt. "Come here," she said, opening her arms to you. You rested your head on her chest, cuddling up against her as she turned the volume back up. You continued to watch the movie, her placing occasional kisses on your forehead as she rubbed your back for the rest of the night.

[shelby-love]

HANK VOIGHT

Dating the Big Boss.

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warning(s): mentions of r*pe and p*dophilia (it's a tough case)

Author's note: I had a lot of fun writing this one. Especially since everyone is a lot older so I could play with maturity a little. Hope you enjoyed and sorry for the long wait! I'm just starting to get back to writing.

~

"What's up with him?" Erin whispered when she saw Voight barge into the unit's personal quarters. Hank didn't look at any of them as he strode into his office with a frown on his face.

He was angry, that's for sure.

Still hot on his tail, your senior detective self arrived right on que with him. Every pair of eyes was on you, knowing that you were the only one who had magic to calm him. You waved your hands, dismissing their burning questions all at once. You just crossed your fingers for them all to see and walked into your lover's office without knocking.

"Hank let's talk about this," You approached him carefully.

"There's nothing to talk about here Y/N."

"Yes, there is." You sat at the edge of his desk casually, although your heart was still racing upon hearing the news delivered to you this morning. "We have a serial rapist and pedophile out there. It's okay to be affected by it honey."

"Well I don't have any leads on this case," He told you strictly, although the anxiety was visible on his shoulders. He had his back turned to you and face focused on the city in front of him. The wheels turning and working in his brain were practically visible for the whole world to see.

"Then maybe we should look into our contacts and see who can help us," You proposed quietly. "This is far from over Hank. We can still turn this around."

You could see him nod, which instantly calmed you down. "Come here."

He, as surprising as it may sound, listened to your words, and walked over to your arms.

He placed his rough hands on your thighs while you ran your hands over his arms soothingly. Eventually your cold hands grasped his face as you gave him a soft look, "Do you want me to brief the team?"

"Thank you," You giggled, still not used to those words leaving his mouth.

The two of you shared a kiss before you left him alone with his thoughts to brief the team. Upon joining them you felt tension rise again, it made you remember what you were meant to do at that moment. "Is he alright?" Erin asked you quietly. You only managed to nod your head before ushering her to her seat.

Then you took a stand in front of them, a file filled with gore pictures secure in your hand. "A few days ago we found a female that was beaten, raped and murdered just outside the Riverwalk area. She was found in a dumpster just outside the Belle Hotel. Roughly 9 years old and unfortunately not the only case."

You spoke with authority that matched Voight's to a certain level. As a senior to all of them it was your job to deliver the details loud and clear. "There have been a few more cases similar to this one. Brody Thompson declared as missing just over a week ago was found two days ago in an area like this one. His left pinky was cut of just like the first victim's..." You placed a picture of a little boy on the board.

"Same MO?" Erin asked, scribbling things vigorously into her notepad. You nodded sadly.

"Are all of the victims children?" Burgess asked from the other side of the room. When you bobbed your head to her in confirmation you could practically see the heartbreak that struck her.

"We believe that we're dealing with a serial rapist and pedophile." You sighed.

"The MO is unique, and it doesn't look like he's been very careful with where he dumps the bodies," Jay notes. "It should be easy to find him since he's bound to make a mistake."

"That's where it gets tricky," You tell him, appreciating his quickness in noticing the details. "These are only cases reported in Chicago within the last few weeks. If we expand the search, which we did, there are dozens of other reported cases all around Ohio, Virginia, Rhode Island and lastly… New York."

A cool cloak of silence fell over the room once you've finished marking the spots. "Some date back to 10 years so we're looking for someone in his early to mid-forties. Maybe even older. Virginia State Police was only able to give us cases within the last 5 years, and we've hit four matches so far."

"Why are they handing the case to us? NYPD should be able to handle this." It was Alvin who had asked that question to which you opened your mouth to answer immediately.

But Hank, your boyfriend and partner, was quicker.

"Because we're the most qualified to do it," He explained, voice booming across the room. He joined your side and placed his hand on your hip; it was that after all, only the members of this very unit knew about you two. "Now, I've pulled out some old contacts from New York. They should be arriving here on the first jet they get their hands on. Until then I want you guys everywhere."

When his gaze slid to yours a twinkle of determination shone within his irises, "Let's get this son of a bitch."

***

"Sargent Benson," you greet the woman that just descended the stairs of the jet. The only people on the tarmac are the two of you and the officers you brought here. "Thank you for coming on a such short notice."

"Voight sounded stressed when he called. Is he alright?" She asked you quietly, matching your footing and walking toward the black SUV next to you.

You shook your head, "This case has been really hard on us is all. It's not every day we have cases like this one."

"Well, our job isn't pretty." She agreed. "Rape cases are already hard on their own."

"But when it's kids…"

"Do you have kids, detective?"

"None that are my own."

"Then I guess you're lucky."

"I suppose so."

***

The drive back to the district wasn't all that comfortable. Benson carried an air of importance around her that would get some rookies sweating with nerves.

Decades in this line of work showed just how good of a match you were for her.

"Hey Trudy," You greeted your friend in passing. Benson was hot on your heels as you lead her upstairs.

Upon reaching your destination you felt her walk straight pass you into Hank's arms. She brushed her hand against the lapels of his jackets when she asked him how he was doing. You felt your chest rise with jealousy but that diminished quickly when you saw him lead her to his office.

"You're not seeing that?"

"Seeing what Jay?"

The younger man narrowed his eyes at you, "She's obviously into him."

You sent him a glare. "We're not kids Jay, we're adults that lived long enough to see what's worthy being petty about and what's not."

"If you say so."

You rolled your eyes, but still went to retrieve your man, nevertheless.

***

You knocked twice before Voight let you in. "Sorry detective, this is a private conversation."

It was Benson who had told you this. You fought an eyebrow that wanted to rise.

"Y/N runs this unit as much as I do," Your boyfriend interfered. "She can stay."

You smiled, that not being able to suppress. "What do you have?"

"A possible location," She told you, still eerie about you being there.

You perked your eyes at that, taking your usual seat in Voight's office. Hank came to stand behind your chair, hands on the back of it. Olivia eyed you quietly and came to retrieve some papers. With her back turned to you both you turned your head, eyes travelling to Voight. Silently, you asked about what was going on. He only shook his head and pressed his hand against your shoulder, rubbing it in comfort.

Olivia saw the interaction and raised her brow.

***

You held your M16 in your hands securely. Officers were bustling all around you, greeting you in passing. The house in front of you looked like a fortress having god knows what protecting it. "We don't go in by force. There are still kids inside."

While the members of your unit nodded in agreement, a few voiced their distaste.

"We go in now. Cut off his ability to retaliate."

"I understand Olivia, but-"

"Sergeant."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm your sergeant. Let's keep it that way."

You gritted your teeth, seemingly offended by the fact that she had used the chain of command to put you in your place.

"My sergeant is Voight. I answer only to him," You corrected her. "I just want those kids to come out of there alive, and that's not going to be possible if we barge in. He'll panic. Kill them instantly."

"Why don't you go in then?" She proposed. "Scope and give us inside information so we can work our way around it. You find the kids and let us do the rest."

You thought about it. "I need –"

"Nothing." Your sergeant appeared by your side, eyes hard and body as still as a rock. Unlike Benson, you could see his anger. You almost reached out to calm him. "You're not doing it."

"This could be our shot." You told him.

He only shook his head, "Trust me it's not. A word, sergeant?"

She nodded and followed him.

You watched as the distance became bigger.

Jay and Adam came to stand next to you, Adam at your right side and Jay at your left.

"Holy hell." Adam muttered.

"She almost got you killed." Jay commented after him.

"Holy hell indeed guys."

***

"Hank I'm trying to do right by these kids!"

"The hell you are," Hank outright yelled at her. As the only person at the scene that had guts to stand up to her, he took the chance to put her in her place. "The way I see it you want Y/N in direct danger with no back up."

She stayed silent.

"You don't get to boss around my unit. Especially not my most trusted detective."

"Oh, come on Hank." She sighed, not quite believing what she was hearing.

"You're here to assist. The case is still mine so don't get ahead of yourself."

And with that, he left her to be.

"We're waiting for him. SWAT is on standby."

You smiled gratefully at him before mouthing a thank you.

***

"You did great today," You complimented him, smiling from ear to ear. All the children that went missing within the last few weeks have been found alive. Wounded yes, but alive. And the man was, much to your satisfaction, shot dead when he tried to run. By none other than yourself. Being able to put down a monster like him brought you satisfaction.

It brought Hank pride too.

He pulled you in by the hip and rested your back against the wall. Chicago was lightly lit up outside, bringing peaceful atmosphere to the district. Your fingers brushed against his rigid jawline; eyes locked with his.

Kisses between you two were shared ever so often at work. While you would both usually leave to the privacy of your home, today was a day you both needed reassurances immediately.

Your lips were pressed together and moving in a way possible for only people with experience.

When someone opened the door without knocking, you pushed him away in fright. Hank didn't even stumble as he narrowed his eyes at the person who had intruded.

"Sergeant Benson?!" You shrieked, cheeks flushing a bright red.

"It all makes sense now." She mused.

MASTERLIST

[dumdumsun]

Of Starlight

A/N: Alright, this entire story has officially been written ❤️

Warnings: none that I’m aware of

Word Count: 3067

————————————

Chapter 5: Extra Ordinary

Five years ago, Vanya Hargreeves began writing her autobiography, “Extra Ordinary: My Life as Number Seven”, less than two weeks before her sister’s novel, “One-Sided”, was announced in the papers. Those around who enjoyed her writing were buzzing with excitement, for it was the second book of her trilogy. (Y/N) was thrilled, herself, to be publishing her novel within the next month. Finally sharing her work with the world would have taken a tremendous weight off her shoulders, leaving her with only the weight on her bladder. While working herself nearly to death with her writing, she was with child for the second time, which added to her stress. Thankfully, she had a very supportive husband at the time to assist in anything she requested. It was in those times in which (Y/N) was grateful she decided to make something of herself rather than letting her past as Number Eight define her.

Once “One-Sided” was published, (Y/N) sent two copies out; one to Allison, one to Vanya. She figured her brothers wouldn’t want to read her romantic fantasy as much as her sisters, so she didn’t bother asking. Allison seemed ecstatic for the new addition, but she wasn’t too sure about Vanya, supposing it wouldn’t hurt to send it. If she didn’t want to read it, that was her decision. What she didn’t expect, however, was Vanya’s novel sent to her. After Jada was born, (Y/N) had taken time to read her sister’s autobiography. While Anthony was at work during the day, she’d multitask by reading and taking care of her newborn. She would quietly gasp at certain parts of the book before checking to make sure she hadn’t woken her daughter up. (Y/N) couldn’t believe some of the things her sister dared to put in that book. Some things she wrote were blatantly about (Y/N)’s own insecurities that she had trusted Vanya with knowing. Insecurities about her powers, her capability of being a suitable member of the Umbrella Academy. Vanya had compared it to her own doubts, stating that (Y/N) had no right to complain to her, of all people. Looking back now, (Y/N) could admit that it was a bit selfish to do that to her sister. Regardless, those had been personal and it was unloyal of Vanya to share that with anyone willing to read. Despite this, (Y/N) saw to promote “Extra Ordinary” along with her own work. Someone had to be the bigger person in this situation.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Nostalgia wasn’t exactly what (Y/N) was overcome with when awaking in her childhood bed. In fact, she’d much rather have opened her eyes to the empty side of her king-sized mattress at home instead. She debated closing her eyes and pretending she had never drifted into consciousness, but sat up when remembering everything Five had told her the day before. If she remembered correctly, there were six remaining days leading up to the end of the world. She had promised Five to assist in preventing the apocalypse, and her drowsiness was not going to hold her back. So, she dragged herself out of bed and began looking for Five. She figured the first place to begin was his bedroom, so she stopped in front of his door and knocked. Hearing rustling on the other side, she asked, “Five, are you decent?”

“Decent enough. You can come in,” He called out, the door opening and (Y/N) stepping inside. He glanced at her over his shoulder as he fixed his white button up. “I take it you had a difficult time sleeping?”

“What makes you say that?” Her hand slid down her face, sarcasm in her tone. She didn’t need a mirror to know she had bags under her eyes. Five chuckled and moved to his vest and jacket, finishing with dressing himself. As he zipped his duffle bag closed, he glanced out the window.

“You tagging along today?”

“I plan to. I… suppose I have nothing to do.”

“Nothing, huh?” Suspicion hid amongst his words as he picked up his bag. “What is it you decided to do with your life, (Y/N)?” The question was simple, genuine, but the weight of it was suffocating. She really couldn’t go back to her normal, beautiful life after all.

“I… found my mother,” She slowly started out, carefully watching as Five curiously glanced up at her under his dark brows. “I became an author… and a mother.”

Suddenly, Five couldn’t breathe. He had anticipated this conversation, prepared himself for everything (Y/N) had accomplished while he was gone. But nothing could have prepared him for the stab in the heart at the mention of her having children. Children with someone who wasn’t him. It was stupidly selfish, he knew, to expect her to wait for him, to do anything else with her life except for the things he longed to do with her. Past the pain, however, he was happy for her. Something in him knew that (Y/N) would one day make a wonderful mother. She was patient, selfless, caring, and oh, how he wished he could’ve been the one. He didn’t even want to ask about the individual she had trusted enough to raise children with her.

His hesitancy to respond worried (Y/N) and suddenly she wanted to apologize. But for what? Her success, her marriage, her children? She had every right to those and she shouldn’t have to apologize. Her concern washed away when Five raised his brows in acknowledgement, opening the window. “Really? A mother? That’s great, Starlight…” God, that nickname… She thought. Why does everything feel so complicated now? Her feet moved her to follow him out of the window and down the fire escape. She thought it was best to not continue the conversation for now.

“Dammit, where’s Dad’s stuff?” The two heard an irritated groan on their way down. (Y/N) craned her neck to see Klaus digging through the dumpster. “Shut up! I’m trying to find whatever… priceless crap was in that priceless box so that Pogo will get off my ass!”

“I’d ask what you’re up to, Klaus, but then it occurred to me…,” Five turned to his brother. “I don’t care.” His useless comment earned an eye roll from (Y/N). Klaus glanced up at the two with a small laugh.

“Hey! You know there are easier ways out of the house, buddy? And bringing little (Y/N) along, too? Whatever could you two be up to?”

“This way of leaving involved the least amount of talking,” Five hopped off the ladder, helping (Y/N) down afterwards. “Or so I thought.”

“Klaus,” The eighth Hargreeves made her way closer to the dumpster. “Is Ben there?”

“Yes, dear, he says hi.” His hand waved in Ben’s supposed direction, (Y/N) softly smiling at her ghost brother. “So, hey, you two need any more company today? I could, uh… clear my schedule.” His eyes shifted to Five as he took a drink from his flask.

“Looks like you’ve got your hands full.” The boy falsely smiled.

“Oh, this? No, no. I can do this whenever. I’m just- I just misplaced something. That’s all.” He then fell into the trash as (Y/N) joined her traveling companion at his side. After a few seconds, Klaus reappeared with a bagel. “Oh! Found it! Thank god!” (Y/N) nearly gagged as he began to chew on it, muffling a ‘delicious’ in forced content.

“I’m done funding your drug habit.” Five spit out before walking away. She followed him and waved at Klaus, barely listening to him yelling after them as they climbed into a plumbing van.

“Why are we stealing a van?”

“Shush.”

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again, the two teenagers found themselves in front of Meritech Prosthetics. (Y/N) watched as Lance entered the building before sighing. “We’re really gonna sit here and spy on the man?”

“You got a better idea?” Five only kept his stare on him.

“I guess not… What’s the bag for, then?”

Five immediately turned his attention to the duffle bag he brought with them. “Oh, shit,” He muttered before unzipping it. “Hey,” He softly greeted before handing a bottle of alcohol to (Y/N). She blinked once, twice, thrice when he brought out the top half of a bald mannequin and set it between them. “Sorry you were in there for so long, Delores.”

“Wait,” (Y/N) choked. “That’s Delores?! The one you were with for over thirty years?!”

“Well, obviously,” Five frowned before turning back to ‘Delores’. “This is (Y/N), Delores. You know… the one I told you about.”

“You… talk about me to the mannequin? Should I be flattered or weirded out?”

“Oh, be quiet,” Five sighed and turned away. (Y/N) suddenly felt silly for being jealous last night. “No, I’m not drunk.”

“What?” (Y/N) frowned at the boy, who shook his head.

“Talking to Delores. She thinks I’m- Yes, it’s about the eye thing. This is the place it was made. Or… will be made,” His eyes moved up to his human friend. “We just have to wait…”

He’s actually talking to the mannequin, (Y/N) thought as she turned forward, eyes wide. So, that was what the apocalypse had done to him. She felt bad for him now. Initially, her heart warmed at the thought of Five finding someone to love, but knowing that his mind had gone somewhere far away enough for him to turn to a mannequin for comfort…

“So, (Y/N),” He started, his gaze once again trained on the building before them. “Your children… tell me about them.” Truth be told, Five wanted to know how much they had gotten from their mother. Were they just as humorous? Just as passionate? As wonderful? (Y/N) let out a heartfelt laugh as she closed her eyes.

“Where do I even begin? Michael, he’s… so intelligent. He has the highest reading level in his class and they’re thinking of letting him skip the first grade. He’s such a big help at home with his little sister… I swear, he’s a little man. He’s always trying to test my knowledge. Tries to get me to solve his ‘really hard’ math homework problems…,” She chuckled, Five looking at her with an unreadable expression. “And Jada… she’s such a character. No matter how many times I teach her the days of the week, she always gets them wrong… She wakes me up every morning, trying to guess. I say ‘Jada, if yesterday was Wednesday, what is today?’ and she just starts listing off every wrong answer… She’s a performer, too. I enrolled her into dance classes. Oh, it’s her favorite thing to do… And I’ll admit, she’s good at it. Don’t know where she got that from. Definitely not from me or her dad...”

Five tilted his head thoughtfully. “They sound… just like you. They think they know everything,” He joked with a small smile, (Y/N) playfully glaring at him. “Really, though… They sound like great kids… I’d like to meet them one day.”

“Yeah,” She smiled down at her lap. “I’d love for them to meet you… But I need to be an actual adult before I can face them again. Until then… It’s just checking up every once and awhile…”

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry,” Five frowned as he sat forward. “I- I’m going to figure this out. I promise.”

“I know you will,” She breathed and closed her eyes, her world slowly crashing down on her yet again. “Sorry, I need some air.” And with that, Five was in the car alone. Well, save for Delores. Outside, (Y/N) didn’t have much time to really be with her own thoughts before she heard Luther and Klaus’s voices nearing her. Turning to her right, she spotted the two walking side-by-side towards the van. Upon seeing her, Luther raised a hand.

“(Y/N), you need to get back to the Academy. We found something… and Grace might’ve had something to do with Dad’s death.” He gruffly explained, the young girl straightening to attention.

“Wait, what-”

“I can explain at the house, but we need both you and Five there for the family meeting. Is he in there?” He pointed to the vehicle their brother sat in.

“Yeah, but-”

“Great. Be right back.” Luther’s massive body brushed past her to get to Five, Klaus following behind to get in the back. Not waiting a second longer, she followed her junkie brother inside. When she entered the van again, Luther was trying his hardest to fit his body into the passenger seat as Klaus grabbed Delores, smirking at (Y/N) as he began to dance with the mannequin. She only watched him in disinterest. Once Luther was finally in, he turned to Five. “You okay?”

“You shouldn’t be… How did you find me?” Five’s question was answered when Luther turned to Klaus. With everyone’s attention on him, he looked up from Delores and dropped his smile.

“Hey, a little privacy, guys. We’re really hitting it off back here.” He began to caress Delores’s cheek before screaming when Five threw an object at him, Klaus using the mannequin to block. (Y/N) shook her head and moved closer to Five and Luther, the former fuming.

“Get out! You can’t be here! I’m in the middle of something.”

“Oh, but (Y/N) can be here?”

“Yes! We’re in the middle of something!” Five turned forward as Klaus joined (Y/N) at her side, poking her cheek gently.

“Any luck with your one-eyed man?” He asked her, receiving a head shake. Five sighed and turned to Luther.

“What do you want, Luther?”

Turning his attention away from the conversation between the two, Luther answered Five, “Um… So, Grace might’ve had something to do with Dad’s death. So I need you to come back to the Academy, alright? It’s important.” His request was met with silence for a split second before the time traveller shook his head.

“‘It’s important’. You have no concept of what’s important-”

“Hey!” Klaus interrupted, holding his sister at his side. “Did I ever tell you guys about the time I waxed my ass with chocolate pudding?”

And that was when (Y/N) tuned out the entire conversation between her family. She left Klaus’s side and pressed her back against the back of Luther’s seat, closing her eyes. She knew Five wasn’t going with Luther and Klaus to the house, and she didn’t need to listen to the bickering that would’ve led to that outcome. Her attention was eventually brought to Klaus swinging the back door open, huffing as he got out. She watched him slam the door closed and make his way towards the store across the street. Not trusting him in the slightest, she sent a clone after Klaus, telling it to “watch over him”. At this point, she was waiting for Luther to leave so her growing headache would subside, but it seemed the man wanted to talk some more.

“What the hell are you up to, Five?”

“Believe me, you wouldn’t understand.”

“Try me. Last I checked, I’m still the leader of this family.”

“Well, last I checked, I’m twenty-eight years older than you.” Five tightly smiled before (Y/N) snorted with laughter. The boy rolled his eyes and smiled fondly at her before Luther pulled his attention away.

“You know what your problem is?”

“Really hoping you’ll tell me.”

“You think you’re better than us,” Luther’s words wiped that sarcastic smile right off Five’s face. “You always have. Even when we were kids. But the truth is, you’re just as messed up as the rest of us. We’re all you have… and you know it.” Luther stared at his brother, as the boy slowly inhaled.

“I don’t think that I’m better than you, Number One. I know I am,” He hissed, Luther only chuckling. “I’ve done unimaginable things, things you couldn’t even comprehend.”

“Right...”

“Just to get back here and save you all…” Five stared out the window. (Y/N) sighed and grabbed Delores.

“Luther, out.” She ordered, her “big” brother turning to her with an offended look. “Five’s clearly not going with us. No use arguing with him either. So, just go and I’ll catch up-” She was cut off by the sound of a voice whooping in excitement. The three looked across the street to see Klaus running out of the store, arms full of stolen snacks, the clone following close behind.

“Hey, bitches!” He shouted as a cop chased after them, blowing his whistle. The clone turned to the officer and pushed him away with great force as Klaus was nearly hit by a car. Five’s head followed Klaus’s movement.

“I’m starting to wonder if that was the wisest decision…”

After Luther was sent out of the van, (Y/N) took over the passenger seat once again and set Delores down between them, Five quietly thanking her. “So… I’m going with the guys.”

“What? Why are you wasting your time, I thought you wanted to help me?”

“I do, and I will… But I don’t trust Luther to make decisions right now… I mean, if Mom really did have something to do with Dad’s death… Who knows what he’ll do? The least I can do is try to talk him out of it. I promise, when I’m done, I’ll come and find you.” She softly smiled, gently patting his hand. Five shook his head at her.

“You don’t have to promise me anything… I’m the one who owes you.”

“All you owe me is this,” She gently squeezed his hand. “You being here… That’s what I’ve wanted for so long. Now I have it. So, your debt is paid.” She chuckled. Five rested the back of his head against the seat as his eyes searched her face, trying to find anything that should worry him about her. But all he found was her warm smile and eyes that shone with affection. It suddenly felt inappropriate to have Delores around right now.

“Well, then, you should get going… You’ve gotta catch up with those idiots.”

“Alright. Don’t be out here forever, okay?” (Y/N) leaned in and pecked his cheek before getting out of the car and rushing after her brothers. As he watched her speed away, he tried to regulate his breathing, heartbeat increasing.

————————————

Taglist: @melinda-hargreeves @43sparrows @sapphicsyn @m00n-sh @starcurrent @alexander-hamilhoe @youcandalekmyballs @wonderlandfandomkingdom @yrdadjstcallsmekatya

[shroomcult]

@soulxmakaweek

Day 4: Apologize

I fell way behind with Soma week because I got slammed with work and this monster of a fic took me too long to write.

Summary: 

Maka comes to realize that Soul had never felt fully comfortable around Crona, and in ignoring this entirely - she unknowingly hurt her closest friend.

Special thanks to Tori @chichirichick (she betas all of my dumpster fires, bless her) for proofreading this mess of emotions and also to Zi @azroazizah for coming up with the concept for this fic. 

**Disclaimer** This story is not about putting blame on Crona, but instead about acknowledging the fact that Soul went through trauma due to their actions and it was never taken into consideration by Maka before inviting them into their friend group. I'm not saying Crona didn't deserve support, but it's also completely valid for Soul - a victim of Crona - to not feel entirely safe around them regardless of their tragic background and circumstances. If Crona is a big comfort character for you and you feel you would likely be upset by this concept, then I recommend not reading it altogether. We all interpret things different and we're all entitled to our own opinions, and I'm not going to get in arguments with people over this.

It’d been a while since the Spartoi team was all together again.

After the fall of Asura, they really had no purpose to join forces as a team. No big baddie to unite them in ass-kickery. 

The skies were blue again. There were still Kishin eggs to take down, and a shaky new diplomatic relationship with the witches to maintain as well. 

Things were more or less … normal. Boring, even.

The only big difference Blackstar could discern was that nobody seemed to have time to just hang out and be friends anymore.

Kid was over his head with his new responsibilities, and while he was doing an admirable job filling his father’s shoes; there was a steep learning curve and his perfectionist tendencies only made it more challenging to overcome. He upheld a calm and collected demeanor in the public’s eyes, but Liz and Patty spent most of their time holding him together behind the scenes. 

Soul and Maka were a different situation entirely.

It was odd enough to adjust to the recent change in the nature of their relationship. They claimed to be the same as they’ve always been - just Soul & Maka. Only, they grew much closer after the hardships they had endured both in the book of Eibon and on the moon.

They had been close to begin with, but this was a different kind of close. Stolen glances, hands reaching for each other when they thought nobody was looking. Blushing for almost no damn reason. 

Something was going on between them - he could be sure of that.

More recently, however, Maka had been particularly obsessive about solving the dilemma of Crona’s entrapment on the moon. She was driving herself to a slow-burning insanity, considering every moment that she hadn’t rescued them yet to be a personal failure.

She’d been spending much of her time in the restricted section of the library, consuming every piece of relevant research for hours on end. Soul often stayed up there with her doing the same, or at the very least keeping her silent company when he was too burnt out to read anymore.

He’d also spent much of his extra time with Stein, training to perfect his sound-wave abilities into his own form of wavelength attack.

He’d been giving his all ever since making deathscythe status to hone his strength and better serve Maka. He’d even been able to hold his own for a surprising amount of time in the sparring ring against Blackstar, and that was a feat in and of itself.

All of the focus on Crona’s rescue had appeared to be wearing on him, though. 

Soul may have accepted Crona into his friend group for Maka’s sake, even empathized with them - but he had never fully trusted the demon sword meister. Although Soul was outwardly friendly towards them, Blackstar noticed the way his friend had watched them like a hawk before they turned back to Medusa. He was always ready for a scenario like that because he had never felt entirely safe around them to begin with.

Not that Maka had bothered to even take Soul’s feelings into consideration before forgiving Crona on his behalf.

She couldn’t have possibly been that dense. She had to have been actively ignoring the signs of Soul’s discomfort because she couldn’t handle acknowledging them.

And now she was doing the same thing all over again even with Crona as far away as the moon. It was obvious that Soul was doing what he always did - shoving his own feelings aside in favor of Maka’s. The loyal mutt of a boy valued her wellbeing far above his own, that was for certain.

He just seemed so exhausted of it all now. Searching tirelessly with Maka for a solution that may not even exist took up much of his time and energy.  

He never had the time to shoot hoops or play video games like he used to, and Blackstar was far above begging for his attention. He stopped even bothering to ask him.

Just for one night though, by some divine luck - everybody was willing to clear their schedule to have a late night dinner at the most beloved and heart-attack inducing burger joint in town. 

Every member of Spartoi was crammed into the largest booth in the restaurant and their chatter was loud enough to fill the whole section. 

There were multiple conversations happening at a time, but Blackstar was zeroing in on Soul who had his chin resting on his palm and that stupid, dopey look he got on his face when he was proud of Maka. Yuck. Keep it in your pants, loverboy.

Maka was next to Soul, his arm stretched out behind her on the booth, while Ox engaged her in a fiery debate over god knows what across the table from her. Judging by the redness in baldy’s face - Maka was on the winning side. He really couldn’t understand Soul’s hard-on for a bossy know-it-all personality, but whatever floats his boat he supposed.  

He decided he’d seen enough of that look on his best friend’s face and crumpled up a straw wrapper, dipping it in his soda and sticking it at the end of his straw.

He blew on the other end, sending the sticky wad of paper flying across the table. The projectile hit its target directly on the cheek.

“Fuck’s sake dude, how old are you?” he grumbled, reaching over the table to grab a handful of napkins to clean his face off with.

Maka snatched some of his napkins for herself, rubbing it vigorously into the flecks of cola that stained her uniform. “You got my shirt all wet, idiot.”

Blackstar simply threw his head back to cackle obnoxiously. “I just thought I should break up your lame little debate team fight before Ox over here pops a blood vessel. You know he can’t handle losing well.”

“I wasn’t losing!” Ox hissed under his breath.

Maka only met her opponent’s glare with a shit-eating grin.

“Hey, Maka! What had you stopped to talk with Professor Stein about earlier today?” Tsubaki cut in, obviously attempting to diffuse another argument between the two competitive brainiacs.

Maka’s expression relaxed into something a little more neutral, seemingly caught off guard by the question. Debate-mode successfully disarmed.

“Oh. Well… I just had some questions about my black blood research for him.” 

Blackstar didn’t miss the way Soul tensed up beside her at the mention of black blood. His face was void of any distinct emotion, but something was off in his body language. The way his shoulders squared as if he were instinctively bristling.

Anyone with a shred of social awareness could have deduced that black blood, Medusa, and Crona were not Soul’s favorite topics. It wasn’t unusual for him to shut down and discontinue any contributions to a conversation when any of these things were brought up. 

Unfortunately for Soul, all of those subjects were constantly on Maka’s mind since she began her obsessive pursuit for a solution to Crona’s ordeal.

“Oh? And what did he have to say?” Tsubaki pressed, completely oblivious to the tense situation she was potentially triggering.

“As you’re already aware, there’s not really any official research on the black blood that exists. We’ve been digging through countless books - gathering as much information about madness and Kishins as we can, but it can only get us so far. It would be so much more useful if we could get our hands on a physical sample of the substance itself.”

Soul’s eyes widened in concern, but only for a second before he slipped his usual poker face back on. His Adam’s apple bobbed nervously despite the veneer of calm he displayed.

“Anyways,” she continued, turning to look at Soul, “I was going to talk to you about this later, but maybe some of the black blood still remains in your system? I know we believed it was all gone, but surely there’s some residual amount of it lingering behind? Something we could maybe isolate, extract and create a concentrate of? Stein said it was unlikely, but technically possible. We have to try for Crona, right, Soul?”

He was no longer wearing his mask of apathy. Unmistakeable, visible discomfort was etched into his facial features and he was clenching his hands, knuckles whitening from the pressure. Everyone at the table was hushed and the tension was palpable.

“He doesn’t have to try anything,” Kid’s voice cut sharply through the silence, golden eyes flashing sternly at her.

A soft gasp escaped her and her eyebrows shot up, clearly taken-aback by the sudden burst of hostility from her boss and close friend. Her eyes darkened seconds later, determination setting in.

 “I think that’s his decision to make, and I’d like to hear what he has to say,” she turned her attention back to Soul, hope still shining in her eyes.

He fidgeted with his necktie, loosening it and clearing his throat. “Yeah, s’fine. Whatever you need, I guess.”

Maka’s face lit up into a bright smile that turned Blackstar’s stomach and she pulled Soul into a brief hug. “I knew we could count on you, Soul! You’re the best partner ever.”

“Whatever, it’s no problem. Just try not to drain me of all my blood, alright?” he chuckled weakly, avoiding her eyes in favor of staring a hole in the middle of the table.

She gave an easygoing laugh in response, and went back to conversing with Tsubaki as if she hadn’t just pressured her partner into volunteering himself as a guinea pig for the sake of someone who had literally sliced him open from shoulder to hip and infected him with black blood to begin with.

Is she fucking serious?

Blackstar was practically vibrating with fury from the interaction he’d just watched, and Tsubaki’s normally soothing hand on his shoulder did little to calm him down. When he glanced at Kid, he instantly knew the death god had shared his frustration with Maka’s obliviousness. 

It wasn’t long before Soul abruptly stood from his place at the end of the booth, pulling a twenty out of his wallet and placing it on the table in front of him.

“Soul? What are you doing? The food hasn’t even gotten here yet,” Maka blinked at him in confusion.

“I’m not feelin’ too great - gonna head out, sorry guys. Could you just bring my food back in a to-go box?” he said with an apologetic quirk of his lips. He squeezed her shoulder gently before turning on his heels and making his way out of the diner in long strides.

Why does she look so shocked? Does she really not understand that she’s been hurting him?

After that, the night passed by in a haze for Blackstar. He hardly spoke for the rest of the meal due to the fact that he was using all of his mental capacity to keep his impulse to stand up and loudly call his friend out in front of everybody in check. 

The only thing truly stopping him was the knowledge that Soul would likely be embarrassed and more than a little pissed off if he’d made a big scene over something that he wasn’t even willing to talk about.  

So he waited - held his tongue until he could lash out in private.

As everyone was saying their goodbyes, Blackstar watched her rise from her seat gathering her to-go boxes carefully and giving him a nod of acknowledgement before she headed out.

His eyes bore into the back of her head as she left, and Tsubaki’s hand clamped gently on him for the second time that night. Her eyes were crinkled with a gentle concern.

“I think you should leave this between them. If Soul wanted all of this out in the open, he would have had that conversation with her himself.”

A heavy sigh settled in his chest, “You know how he is. He’s the suffer in silence type and he always does her bidding. If nobody says anything, then nothing’ll change. I just want to talk to her - not like I’m gonna beat her ass or anything … unless she gives me a reason to.” 

“Blackstar,” she chided, fully aware that he would make good on that threat.

“I know, I know. I won’t be long, see ya at home,” he said, throwing up placating hands before stuffing them in his pockets and striding in the direction Maka had gone. 

            _______________________________________________

Maka set her walk home at a leisurely pace, dragging her feet slightly as she watched the sunset bleed into the sky above.

It wasn’t that she was trying to prolong seeing Soul, or that she wasn’t worried about the way he’d acted back in the diner - like something was eating at him. 

She was pretty positive that he wasn’t physically ill, which only left the option of it being an emotional issue. 

And getting Soul to talk about emotional issues was like trying to pull teeth from a temperamental bear. 

She had to figure out a way to go about this delicately, and she had to figure it out soon because their apartment block was fast approaching.

She stopped in her tracks when she felt the presence of a familiar soul behind her. His steps had been so quiet, she wouldn’t have even been aware he was stalking her from behind if it weren’t for her exceptional soul perception abilities.

“I know you’re following me, Blackstar.”

In moments, he was stepping out in front of her. “Wasn’t trying to hide. I need to talk to you,” his voice was uncharacteristically stern.

She wasn’t stupid. She knew Blackstar had some kind of problem with her since dinner. He was deathly quiet and glowering at her for most of the night; very unusual behavior from someone who never shuts up or hesitates to start a fight. 

“Okay, I’m listening,” she said, already preparing to defend herself against whatever absurd argument he wanted to pull her into.

“The whole situation with Crona - have you ever once thought about how Soul feels about it?”

Whatever she had been expecting to come out of his mouth - that wasn’t it.

“What? I mean, I know how Soul feels. He wants Crona to be safe, just like I do. What are you trying to get at?”

“I’m not talking about what he thinks about Crona being stuck in the deathdamned moon, Maka! I mean have you ever thought about how he felt when you forced Crona into his life to begin with? After being sliced open?” 

Maka’s eyebrows shot up to her hairline and her mouth opened and closed a few times, baffled by the question. 

“Soul understands why I welcomed Crona as a friend. He trusts me,” she answered, hoping her voice conveyed the confidence that she couldn’t find in this moment.

This entire conversation was throwing her off.

“Yeah, okay. He accepted your decision because he trusts you, or loves you or whatever the fuck. We all know that - but that doesn’t mean he was comfortable with it. It doesn’t mean he felt safe. He just stuffed his own feelings down, because he knew it made it easier for you.”

Her throat tightened as her own conflicting emotions overcame her. He had no idea what he was talking about. Soul was fine. He’s always been fine. 

“Did he say that to you? That he didn’t feel safe?” she choked out. 

“Soul? You think he tells people things? About his feelings?” he snorted. “No, he doesn’t have to tell me shit. It’s clear on his face every time you mention Crona, or Medusa, or that fucking blood.”

“Maybe you’re just making assumptions about how he feels!” she shouted back, gripping handfuls of the front of his shirt.

He leaned in, completely unfazed by the rage burning in her eyes. “You ever noticed how when Crona was around, he was always watching them out of the corner of his eye - twitching every time they made some sudden move. You ever noticed how quiet and withdrawn he’d get around them? Or any time they were brought up? You didn’t - because you didn’t want to.” 

“Shut up! Y-you’re making something out of nothing. Are you trying to tell me that I should just give up and forget about Crona? That they don’t deserve to have a friend?” 

Some of his aggression was fizzling out as he released a heavy sigh, placing his hands calmly over hers, still clenching in his shirt. “I’m not trying to say that you shouldn’t have helped Crona, or that you shouldn’t keep trying to help them now. I’m only telling you that even if Soul has forgiven and moved on - he’s still a victim of Crona’s actions. He suffered trauma from that, even if he’s too fucking stubborn to admit it. Just acknowledge that maybe he needs a break from thinking about them - all of that shit that happened - every now and then. Get your head out of Crona’s ass long enough to check if he’s okay too.”

She stumbled over wordless sounds as her hands went limp and released their vice-grip on his clothing. She was trying desperately to think of a way to refute the awful things he was saying, but Blackstar wouldn’t give her the chance. 

“If you gave him even half the thought you gave to Crona - maybe you would have noticed it like everybody else has. I just want you to think about it for a bit, that’s all,” his voice softened towards the end, shoulders sagging slightly as he turned away, leaving her to deal with the aftermath of his confrontation.

The heat of tears prickled behind her eyelids and she clenched her fists tightly to her sides. 

She wanted so badly to swing around and scream at Blackstar’s retreating figure that he was wrong, that he had no idea what he was talking about and of course she thinks about her weapon.

But the longer she allowed his harsh words to sink in; the more she could feel the sting of truth settling into her heart.

Had she really been so blind? 

             _______________________________________________

Soul had been laying on his back in bed, hands resting on his stomach and eyes pointed at the ceiling, unmoving for some time. He wasn’t entirely sure how many hours, but he knew his playlist had ended long ago - no music played from the earbuds that were still jammed in his ears.

He couldn’t explain the heaviness in his heart. The anxiety that often set in whenever Maka mentioned Crona or the black blood. It was all water under the bridge, wasn’t it? There was no point in allowing himself to wallow in all the negative emotions that punched him in the gut at the mention of their name. It was selfish to feel those things - it was his job to give Maka his full support. His own feelings were irrelevant.

It was just harder on this particular night. Sure, she droned on about those sore subjects often. Their research revolved around it anyways. He’d just hoped that it could have been different just for one night.

He’d secretly been ecstatic when Maka begrudgingly agreed to shelve her research just long enough to get a late dinner with all of their friends. A break had been long overdue. 

Things had been different between them, after all. They’d been sharing a bed, and they’d even shared a few kisses in the small, rare moments that they’d spent alone together - focused only on each other. They were chaste kisses, but he’d greedily take whatever he could get. 

As she became more frantic about her lack of results in helping Crona, he may as well have not even existed to her. 

He’d just needed that one dinner to pretend things were normal, to pretend as though he was on a date with her and she was willing to spend time with him and think about literally anything aside from her latest fixations. Instead, she’d asked him to play part in some unsound experiment - to prod for things that he hadn’t wanted to find again. It had only been made more uncomfortable by the scrutinizing presence of all of their friends. 

He’d felt used.

Soul perked up at the familiar sound of the front door creaking open and slamming shut. He was immediately ashamed of the pavlovian response he had to the sound of his meister returning - the little flip in his heart that made him feel like a stupid dog wagging its tail at the sound of its master.

Just keep to yourself. She doesn’t need to interact with you in this useless state of self pity. You don’t deserve her comfort.

Self-loathing curled in his gut and he kept his eyes stubbornly trained on a water stain in the ceiling.

Suddenly, light flooded into his dark room as his door was hesitantly opened. He reflexively brought himself to sit up on his elbows only to meet a teary-eyed Maka.

All self-indulgent angsty thoughts instantly evaporated from his head, and he was ripping his earbuds out and swinging his legs over the side of the bed to get up.

She made purposeful steps across his room, throwing her arms around his neck and forcing him back onto the bed with the motion.

“I’m so sorry, Soul,” she warbled mournfully into his sweater. 

“Huh? Sorry ‘bout what? What’s going on, Maka?” he tried to nudge her into looking up at him, but she adamantly refused.

She took a few shallow breaths before rubbing her wet cheek against the quickly-dampening fabric and looking up at him with dewy eyes.

“I haven’t been a good friend to you - have I? 

Was that a trick question?

“I-I don’t get what we’re talkin’ about here,” he stuttered uselessly, attempting to compensate for his lack of eloquence by brushing his fingers comfortingly through her soft hair.

“I never asked if you felt okay with Crona being around you. I never asked you if you forgave them at all - I just brought them into your space, your home. I just wanted them to have a chance at a normal life so badly - I ignored your pain, and I’m so sorry,” she rushed her confession out like it had been a breath she was holding in.

He had to fight the urge to bark out a laugh. It wasn’t that he found anything that she said humorous - it was just so strange that she was addressing this out of the blue. She’d seemed completely unaware as usual back at the diner, where had this even come from?

He was so lost in thought, he’d almost forgotten to respond and instantly regretted the prolonged silence he’d left her in. “Maka, it’s fine,” he insisted, “I get why you forgave Crona. I admire you for it.”

“But that doesn’t mean you were okay. I should have at least checked on you, or asked you about how you felt - or literally anything,’ she mumbled numbly from his chest.

“Hey. Look at me,” he said, lifting her cheek from its resting place against his sweater, “Sure, I didn’t feel the most comfortable around Crona. I think it was pretty awkward for both of us to be near each other. That doesn’t mean I dislike them, or didn’t want you to be their friend. You can’t beat yourself up over something I hadn’t bothered to tell you.”

His words hadn’t brought the comfort that he’d hoped they would, and her brows remained stubbornly crinkled. “If it had been me - if I was the one who’d been cut by that sword, would you still say that you don’t dislike them? That you’re okay with us being friends?”

It was a question that he instantly knew the answer to, but he was reluctant to say it out loud. He finally caved, bringing his eyes back to hers, “No. I wouldn’t have been able to forgive them if it was you.”

She closed her eyes tightly, nodding her head in grim acceptance of that truth. She had likely known that would be his answer already, but hearing it must have been difficult.

“But I love that about you. You have so much compassion. I only care for the few people that I’ve decided I love - I don’t have room in my heart for others like you do. I’d like to be more like you,” he whispered reverently, taking her cheeks in both of his hands and briskly wiping away all of the moisture he could reach with his thumbs.

“I should’ve had more compassion for you,” she lamented softly under her breath, eyes downcast.

“You’re not a fuckin’ mind reader, Maks. It was my choice not to bring anything up.”

She nodded slowly, but the way her grip tightened on him only confirmed his suspicion that she wasn’t going to forgive herself for it.

Minutes passed before a word was spoken, but Soul eventually cleared his throat. “You know, I don’t expect you to ever stop being friends with Crona, or to give up on rescuing them. I don’t want that. I don’t mind helping you like you’d asked earlier tonight, too. If that’s what you need from me, then I’m here.”

She brought herself to her elbows on top of him to get a better view of his face.

“I know. I’m not going to give up on them. But It matters to me that you’re happy too, and if that means you need a break from all that, then I want you to know that it’s okay to ask for that.”

“Right, I’ll keep that in mind,” he said in a hushed tone, distracting himself with a piece of her hair twirled between his fingers.

“And I don’t want to use your blood for research. It was wrong of me to even think of asking you that. We’ll find another way,” she assured him, voice tightening with emotion, “I definitely got carried away with all of this. It wasn’t healthy, and I really am sorry I’ve pushed you away in the process. We can’t solve this thing if we don’t have time to properly take care of ourselves. You’ve been working so hard with me, and I think we need more actual quality time together.”

“Yeah, I could get on board with that. I kinda walked out on dinner tonight, so how about we do something - just you and me tomorrow? Movies sound good?”

“Movies sounds great,” she hummed in agreement, hands idly playing with his hair.

As much as he would have preferred for her to continue her ministrations, he stopped her movements to grasp her hand, bringing it to his chest to rest above where she knew his scar was. He pressed down on her hand lightly.

“I’m glad it happened. I’m glad they gutted me, ‘cause I hadn’t understood what you meant to me till that moment,” he muttered, pressing a quick kiss to the top of her head.

She only exhaled shakily, hand tightening against the evidence of his devotion.

“I just hate that it took a lecture from Blackstar of all people for me to realize that I’d been hurting you.”

His eyes widened a little at that new piece of information. Blackstar was the one that brought all of this on her mind? He could’ve sworn it would have been Kid if anyone. He couldn’t help but feel a little touched that Blackstar had been so concerned about him, but he was also somewhat irritated that his friend had distressed Maka as much as he had.

“Blackstar, huh? Remind me to have a conversation with him about mindin’ his own business,” he laughed half-heartedly.

“No, don’t. I’m glad that he said what he did - I needed to hear it,” she urged him.

“Doesn’t matter. He didn’t have to make my girlfriend cry from guilt over bein’ friends with someone,” he muttered, but his face immediately burned a bright red as soon as he’d caught what he’d called her.

She was a similar shade, holding her breath as well as his gaze with a tortuously difficult to decipher expression on her face.

“That is, uh- I mean… fuck.”  

Very articulate. Great job, Soul.

He hadn’t needed to agonize over whether or not he’d just fucked everything between them for long because her face soon melted into a warm, genuine smile.

“Girlfriend, huh?” she said with a glimmer of mischief in her eye.

“I’d like that. If that’s w-what you want,” he wanted to kick himself for the voice crack he just experienced. Not cool in the slightest. 

At least she got a good giggle out of it. The melodic sound squeezed something in his chest and he swallowed nervously as a response.

She brushed back his bangs, leaning in to place a soft kiss to his forehead. She peppered a trail of kisses down his cheek until she reached his lips. 

This kiss was far from chaste. She cradled his cheek and jaw as she slanted her mouth sweetly over his, pressing fervently, constantly moving against him and eliciting a breathy moan from him that he would never admit to making. 

When she tried to separate, he followed her, bumping noses for a moment and giving the corner of her mouth a few more enthusiastic pecks before backing up and allowing her room to look at his face. 

“Girlfriend sounds nice, actually,” she smiled broadly, letting her fingers brush against the back of his neck.

“Glad that’s settled, then,” he laughed easily, not even bothering to feel any embarrassment over the flush of his skin or the lightness of his breath.

He crushed her to his chest, and they stayed like that for a while, just listening to the other’s loudly beating hearts until they were lulled to sleep. 

He’d have to thank Blackstar with a game of basketball later.

[vanillacaramelhoney]

Different (5)

Pairing(s): Five Hargreeves x Reader

Summary: "Got it last night."

Warnings: None?

A/N: This one’s a bit short, but I mainly wanted to get it out!

Masterlist

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After leaving Klaus at the Meritech building, YN went back to the academy, while Five went off to do something on his own accord.

The girl was in desperate need of sleep and could only imagine how Five wasn't as exhausted as her.

Upon arriving, she immediately climbed up to Five's room and changed into a pair of his pajamas that she found before collapsing on his bed.

She barely managed to get under the covers before passing out.

After everything that had already managed to happen in the past couple of days, YN was ready for a moment of peace.

Waking up the next day was surprisingly enjoyable. She wasn't sure when, but it seemed that Five had returned at some point.

YN could feel Five's arm wrapped tightly around her waist, his face pressing against the back of her neck. His warm breath gently fanned against it, continuing to flow down his pajama shirt she wore.

She carefully turned around, hoping to not wake Five up. The boy grumbled at her movement but did not wake.

It was rare to see him so peaceful- something that YN didn't enjoy thinking about.

Her only wish was that they could clean up this mess, allowing Five to finally relax for once in his entire life.

"Why are you staring at me?" Five grumbled. His eyes were opened at a squint, trying to get used to the change in light.

YN shrugged to the best of her ability. "It's rare that I get to see you so calm," she told him, smiling softly. He offered her a similar one.

He moved to pull her closer but stopped with a hiss of pain. YN quickly sat up, both confused and concerned.

Looking over him, she caught sight of the blood and tear on the arm of his blazer, a sign of injury.

"Five!" she exclaimed.

He sat up with a sigh, cautious of his arm.

"How long have you had that?!" YN scurried to stand up.

She helped him remove the layer of clothing; his vest and button-up coming off as well. He was left with just an undershirt.

"Got it last night."

YN let out grumbles of complaint as she looked over the severity of the cut, gently holding onto Five's arm.

Straightening up, she dropped her hands to her sides.

"Damnit, Five," she groaned. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"There are more important things to worry about," he told her. "Besides, you were sleeping when I got back. You look cute in my pajamas, by the way."

"Stop trying to change the subject."

"Who said I was?" Five smirked.

"I'm going to smack you."

Five's smirk changed to a smile as the girl shook her head.

"How did you-" YN stopped her turn. Her face dropped to one of annoyance. Five followed her gaze to see the problem. "You went and got the fucking mannequin."

The two looked away from the top half of a mannequin that sat on Five's desk chair and at each other.

"Yeah."

YN held her hands out in confusion. "Why?"

When she received no answer, she dropped her hands and sighed.

"Stay there," she demanded, pointing at him with a look.

She left his room to scour the house for medical supplies.

"Can't believe I'm jealous of a damn mannequin."

Finding the supplies needed was proving harder than YN thought it would be. Granted, the house was huge, and she didn't know where anything was at.

She really should've asked Five where everything was.

"Can I help you, dear?"

Turning, YN saw a woman staring at her with a kind smile on her red-painted lips. She could only assume that this was Grace, Five's mother.

"Are there any medical supplies here?"

"Of course," the woman answered. "This way." She waved YN along, placing a hand on her back.

Grace guided her around the house to a room that seemed to be dedicated to medical care.

"Is everything alright?" she asked. "Do you need any help?"

YN thought about it- Five probably wouldn't want Grace to be brought to him right now, and she could easily handle it.

"No help needed," YN smiled. "It's nothing too bad."

Grace returned her smile. "Alright, dear."

YN gathered what she needed before Grace brought her to the foyer of the house. From there, she returned to Five's room.

He still sat on the bed but moved to sit on the edge.

"That took you a bit," he teased.

"Yeah, well, I don't exactly know where everything is."

Lying everything down on the bed, YN got to work.

As she tugged the needle through his skin, Five let out soft grunts of pain.

She tied off the thread and wrapped the wound before standing up straight.

"Alright," she heaved a breath. "You need to get changed, and be careful with that." She pointed at his shoulder.

"You need to change as well," Five told her. "Unless you want to run around, saving the world in my pajamas."

YN gave him a pointed look. "Change."

He did as told, and YN copied.

As Five zipped up his bag containing the mannequin, YN watched with a deadpan expression.

"Are you seriously bringing it?" YN asked, crossing her arms. "Or are you returning it?" Five could sense what she was trying to get at. He pulled the straps of the bag onto his shoulders.

"I'll return her," Five said. He pulled YN close, pressing a delicate kiss to her lips. "Later."

He smirked at her eye roll.

"Someone's jealous," he teased.

"My husband is replacing me, a human being, with a mannequin," she shot back. "Of course, I am."

Five grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the window onto the fire escape.

There, the two could hear Klaus's voice echoing in the alleyway.

"Damnit, where's Dad's stuff?" YN peered over the edge of the fire escape to see Klaus throw a bag out of a dumpster.

Five started his descent on the stairs, ignoring his brother.

To no one in particular, he yelled out a 'shut up.'

YN caught up to Five on the stairs.

"I'm trying to find whatever priceless crap was in that priceless box so that Pogo will get off my ass!" the man shouted.

YN sent a confused look Five's way as he began climbing down the ladder.

"I'd ask what you're up to, Klaus, but then it occurred to me," Five paused his climbing to look down at Klaus, "I don't care."

"Hey, you know there are easier ways out of the house, buddy?"

"This one involved the least amount of talking," Five said, dropping to the ground. "Or so I thought." YN followed after.

"Hey, hey, hey, so, you need any more company today?" Klaus asked, lounging against the wall of the dumpster. "I could, uh, clear my schedule." He took a swig from his flask.

"You seem pretty busy there," YN commented.

"This? No, no. I can do this whenever. I just-" he tumbled back, clattering filling their ears "-I just misplaced something. That's all."

He let out an exclamation before resurfacing, half-eaten bagel in hand.

"Found it! Thank god!" YN cringed as he took a bite out of it. Klaus tried to hide his discomfort of eating the food. "Delicious."

"I'm done funding your drug habit," Five told him. He turned to leave, YN sending a wave of goodbye to Klaus.

"Come on! You don't-" Klaus stopped himself. "Maybe I just wanna hang out with my brother and his wife! My sister-in-law! Not you."

"This is kinda sad," YN said to Five.

"Mi hermano!" Klaus called out to him. "I love you! Even if you can't love yourself!"

His words were muffled as Five and YN climbed into a random van in the alley, Five throwing his bag into the back.

"Right, so, where are we headed to, dear Five?" YN asked sarcastically.

Back to the Meritech building, apparently.

The van was parked across the street from it, giving them the perfect amount of coverage to not be noticed.

YN sat forward in her seat as they saw Lance approaching the building.

"Alright, he's here now," she said. "What do we do?"

"We wait."

----Taglist

@fancytravelerbird​ @megasimpleplan4ever​ @yikes-matey​ @we-all-are-strange​ @flowertoty​ @rasberrymay​ @lilacs-lavender​ @margotsfandoms​ @nibbles7192​ @colie-babi​ @thegirlwholikestomanythings​ @halparkebitch​

[adsosfraser]

The Stone’s Toll - Chapter Eight

Read on AO3

“Tante Jenny! There is a rider near the gate!” Fergus shouted through the front doorway and sprinted away.

His dirk was poised in his grasp, ready to protect against any danger. The mule sauntered through the archway and snorted when its rider pulled against the reins to stop. 

 Claire slid off the horse and slammed into Fergus almost immediately. She gathered his body up against hers into a hug and rested her chin over the small curls that were growing even longer than before atop his head. 

“M-milady?” He stared, dumbfounded at the sight. 

 “Oh my Fergus, I’ve missed you so much my darling boy.” She smoothed the hair at the back of his head. Her tears fell unbidden into the little brown waves and began to soak through his hair like a steady rainfall. Fergus didn’t mind, he was also soaking her dress with his own tears. 

 “You have been restored maman.” He stated, still shocked. It didn’t pass her notice what he called her.

 “I love you mon fils. Let me look at you.” She pulled back slightly from the embrace to hold onto his cheeks with her hands. She brushed the hair that was on his forehead back and noticed the subtle changes of the boy. The bones of his face were slightly more defined and he had lost more of the roundness associated with adolescence. She even spotted two hairs on his upper lip that were darker and thicker than the soft downy hairs of the rest of his face. It would be years until it would fully develop into a beard, but she could tell what a handsome man Fergus would be. He just needed to do some more growing.

 She slowly noticed the pallor of his face and the dark purple and red hues under his eyes. The way the flesh of his bone was practically nonexistent. He clearly wasn’t getting substantial meals these days. She placed the back of her hand against his forehead again and her heart skipped in fear at the blazing temperature of it. 

 “Dear God, Fergus, you're burning up.”

 “Do not worry Milady. It’s only the winter sickness.” 

 There was a bulk inside the sleeve of his shirt and she pulled back the fabric to see Jenny’s attempt to bandage him. A long deep gash split through the skin of his inner arm. The skin around the wound was red and swollen, and she could see the tell tale signs of infection from the puss oozing from the centre.

 “What on earth happened to you Fergus?” 

 “Tis simply a scratch, Milady, dinna fash.” He tried to mimic his Scottish family’s accent, and if Claire’s concern wasn’t in overdrive at the moment, she would have laughed at how cute the boy was. “Milord said I was a brave lad that day. And braw.” He beamed with confidence and pride.

 “I’m sure you were.” She hugged him tight into her side. “Come inside, I need to examine your wound.” 

 “Fergus what stray ha’ ye brought in today? We dinna need more mouths to feed, especially wi’ young Jamie in his sickbed now too.” Jenny called around the corner of the kitchen, fixated on chopping the potatoes for supper. 

 “Auntie, Milady has returned to us.” He beamed, leading her inside on his arm. “I always told you she would.”

 The knife Jenny was holding clattered onto the floor. She crossed herself as all the colour drained from her cheeks. 

 “Blessed Michael defend us.” Her hand clutched at her heart. 

 “Jenny- I.” What words could she possibly say now? “It’s so good seeing you again.” She stared down where Jenny was protectively holding her middle. “A fourth?” 

 “Thank Christ yer here. We dinna have time to waste.” And without a single inquiry over her return, Jenny dragged her up the stairs to the children’s room. 

 The children were all tucked tightly into their beds. Wee Kitty gurgled in her Bassinet. Her small breaths were interrupted by sharp whimpers of pain. Claire’s heart fell at the somber scene before her. 

 “Ian?”

 “That useless, floppy-haired nonce can bide.” 

 “Fergus go fetch some water to boil, and lots of clean cloth. Do we have deer or chicken bone to boil?”

 “Aye.”

 “Great, can you make a broth out of it with whatever vegetables we have? Oh and um-” Her brain paused, racking her memory for the proper words. “Garlic or Rosemary too. They won’t be able to stomach any solid foods for a while, so they’ll need to sip on broth to keep their strength up.” 

 Jenny left for the door but paused near Claire. She squeezed her shoulder. “I dinna ken how yer here, or where ye’ve been these past months, but I am glad to have ye back. Just know I’m going to have some choice words wi’ ye once they all heal.”

 “I’d imagine you would.” Claire smiled brightly and planted a kiss on her cheek. “I missed you too Jenny.”

 Once she had situated the children in the sick room. She brought Fergus along with her to inspect the gash across his arm. 

 “You never did tell me.” 

 “It was a bayonet, from a redcoat. I was holding wee Kitty and they thought she was a sack of grain so they lunged for me. I protected her maman.” He grinned with pride at the memory. 

 “Oh God, Fergus.” She embraced him, careful of his arm. “Though that never should have happened, I’m proud of what you did. My brave boy.” She patted his hair affectionately. “How long ago were they here?”

 “Less than a fortnight maman. A week after they were gone, les enfantés were struck with la petite vérole.” 

 “Those bastards!” They had not only brought fear, pain, and strife into her home- Jenny’s home, she corrected herself, they had brought their disease as well and the threat that carried. 

 She returned her attention to his arm and carefully cleansed it. Jenny had brought alcohol down for her and she told Fergus to be prepared for the sting. He assured her he wasn’t afraid. With the puss and dried blood removed, she carefully poked around the wound. Claire asked if any of it was painful but he immediately gritted out a non. It wasn’t healing on its own and she was concerned. She couldn’t stitch it up with the infection she assumed was waging a war inside it, so all she could do was wrap it in clean cloth every few hours with garlic paste. When Claire went up to the Laird’s room to check on Ian, her breath quickened and her hands became slick with sweat. Ian insisted he didn’t need any coddling and he didn’t want to see his wife up there until he was healthy. Jenny and her worked simultaneously together to heal young Jamie, Maggie, Kitty, their father, and Fergus. They were thankful for the snow to help bring down fever, but also cursed the season for bringing sickness in the first place. Ian sprang back instantly and returned to work on the farm the next morning. Maggie and Kitty were worried for the scars left by the smallpox lesions, but Claire assured them they wouldn’t be terrible. It had spared their faces, and only a small amount of red dots lined their arms. Jamie was proud to add more scars onto his list, and proud to say he fought the monster and won.

 When her nephew and niece's fevers began to break, Fergus took a turn for the worse. She had prayed that the smallpox would pass over him, but it came back with a vengeance. The infection from the bayonet wound and the virus coupled together, left Claire severely worried. 

 She worked tirelessly with Jenny by her side. Never once did she leave Fergus’ room and her sister had begun to worry about her as she simply stared blankly off towards the wall clutching the sickly boy’s hand in hers. Jenny had found her in such a state many times, as if her mind wandered off but she didn’t want to bring it up. When no one was looking, Claire would open the small case of vials and a syringe from her leather travel bag. Fergus didn’t notice the slight pinch of the needle to his rear and grumbled no complaint to her in his delirious state. The Reverend couldn’t smuggle much medicine, most of what he pilfered was what had been discarded behind the hospital in a dumpster. But this small amount of penicillin he had managed, made Claire want to reach out through the veil of time and kiss him in thanks. 

 The infection was healing nicely, but there was still the smallpox coursing through his body. With his body pulled between fighting two foreign enemies, his energy was quickly fading into a weakened state. 

 “Claire, it’s time. We have the certificate ready. I’ve sent the priest down from the kirk to-”

 “No! I will not give up on my son!” She yelled with such ferocity, that Jenny stumbled back a few steps. None of the anger seeped through to the limp hand of Fergus that she was holding, and she kissed it gently while her body shook with rage at the suggestion. 

 “If the lad doesna earn his last rites, dinna say it was my fault.” Jenny slipped away to care for her now rambunctious children, who had bounced back from their sickness immediately. 

 That night, she never slept, and took up her usual spot beside his bed. It would get worse, before it got better. Claire was elated at the signs that his fever would soon break. 

 “Would you like me to tell you a story?”

 “Mmm.” 

 “Well, there once was a brave knight. He found a faerie at the bottom of the standing stones, and knew right away that she was his. He loved her, and protected her fiercely. They were blessed with three beautiful brave children. Two angels, and one son of their heart.” Somehow it was easier for her to pretend she was speaking about someone else. “There was a great evil that the knight had to vanquish. It was-“ She pursed her lips in thought. “It was threatening their angel babies, so the knight had to leave his faerie and guard their daughters in heaven. The faerie returned to protect her son.”

 Fergus while laid fevered and asleep. Claire smoothed back the crusty hair from his forehead sticky with sweat. “Je t'aime mon fils. Être fort.  Je sais que vous êtes.” Fergus stirred slightly. 

 “Je t’aime maman.” His smile and voice were weak. 

 She kissed his forehead and he slumped back into his slumber. 

 Jenny stood in the doorway smiling, on the verge of tears at the sight. It felt such a personal moment between mother and son, that she didn’t want to interrupt. But when Claire lapsed into silence, she took a tentative step into the room. 

 “The worst of it is over.” Jenny said, both as statement and question. 

 “Yes.” 

 “Good, now we can talk sister.” 

 “Yes, I believe we should.” 

 “Why- why’d ye leave my brother? I’ve kent ye well over these past few years, and I’d

never imagine that you’d just give him up so willingly. Ye’d die wi’ him if it came to it.” 

 “He made me promise that- well we knew how Culloden would end up, everyone could 

feel how much of a defeat it would be. He forced me to-“ Her brain felt muddled, keeping track of all the half-truths in her mind. “board a boat to France for the safety of our child.” Tears sprung into her eyes at that admission and her hand extended from her stomach absentmindedly, as if she was holding her belly at six months, the furthest she had been in either of her pregnancies. “Red Jamie couldn’t escape the fate of Culloden but his wife the Stuart Witch could, no one would recognise me. But I- I came back for Fergus and you, Ian, your children. I know that’s what he would’ve wanted. I just wish I knew, if he really-”

 “Ye eejit he isna dead! That dunderheid is holed up in a cave somewhere on these lands, 

grieving ye terribly.”

 “He’s- he’s alive?” A lump formed in her throat. “I didn’t want to hope that-“ 

 “Why on earth would ye think he’s dead! If ye had written letters to us. To let us ken ye 

were safe, we’d tell your daft arse to come back home! But of course, ye couldna spare us that much mind.” 

 “I’m sorry Jenny, I wasn’t in a safe place to send you letters. A man wanted to marry 

me.” Yes, years ago. “After I lost- he put me in an asylum when I refused his advances. I had to escape him after I lost-“ Jenny’s expression softened and she nodded, not in understanding, but in acceptance of what she had done. It didn’t do well to dwell on the past for too long. 

 “Well ye seem dead on yer feet, I’ll go take out all this anger on Ian.” Claire chuckled 

and then kissed Jenny’s cheek. “Wi�� him out and healthy again, the Laird’s room will be free enough but I dinna want ye to be lying in that sickbed so soon.” 

 “It’s yours now.” 

 “Ye ken Jamie and ye will always be Laird and Lady to the tenants. And no, Ian and I

occupy the same room we have fer years. I just stuck him in the Laird’s room because I was irritated at him groaning and shivering in our bed.” 

 Claire laughed, but felt bad for poor Ian who had unknowingly become the subject of 

Jenny’s ire these past few days. 

 She was in the courtyard, while Jamie made his way back to Lallybroch. A deer slung over his shoulders and buckets of water weighed down his arms. He took in the sight of his wife and nearly fainted. The buckets he had carried dropped to the ground with a snap and rolled across the yard. The stiff deer slumped to the ground over the mud. 

 It was the first word he had croaked in months, “Sassenach.” The sound didn’t reach her ears but she could read off his lips the endearment she knew all too well.

 Even with Jenny’s confirmation, she couldn’t believe the apparition before her. But could she have imagined him this way? Haggard and weary from months living in a cave. A bonnet slanted across his red hair to hide the bold colour. His beard had grown considerably from the scruff she was so familiar with. But the thing she couldn’t possibly imagine in her head was the haunted look on his face. The dark circles under his eyes and the gaunt nature of his face echoed his grief.  

 “No I’m. This isn’t- the after effects of the electroshock therapy” she mumbled. 

 She felt woozy, and her head was full of fluffy clouds. She regained her balance swiftly but stared unwavering at Jamie. His heart chilled, as if she was staring straight through his soul, but couldn’t see it. 

 “Claire I dinna ken what ye’re saying lass.”

 She gasped at his hand on her forearm. “You’re real.” 

 “And so are ye. Christ when Jenny told me to get my hide back here, I dinna ken it was really true.” She fell into him and he wrapped his strong arms across her back. 

 “Oh, God. Jamie. Oh God.” Claire’s breath rattled onto his cheek. “Just hold me.”

 She trembled in his arms, months of exhaustion, fear, pain, and heartache expressing themselves. 

 “I’m sorry Jamie. I’m so sorry. I - the stones.” 

 “What’re you apologising for lass?” He choked out. “Claire -the bairn?” She couldn’t meet his eyes. 

 She felt the need to run and hide as she did in the arbor of Fontainebleau. She didn’t want to face what was before her, what was behind. How could she let Jamie forgive her when she couldn’t herself? As if she were putting a sheet of metal between her and her heart, she suddenly felt nothing. 

 “She’s dead.” She said simply, staring at a chipped stone on the ground. 

 This time Jamie did collapse, and took Claire tumbling down to his lap. They held tight to one another, and Claire was the one to comfort him now. His tears soaked the wool of her bodice as he rocked them back and forth on the steps. When his eyes couldn’t produce anymore tears, he slowly peeked out of his shell. Jamie rose slowly from his spot on the steps when the sun crawled below the horizon and carried her with him to the Laird’s room. 

 Claire stripped him down to his sark and was prepared to ask for water, when she saw someone had already completed the task. She resumed her task and shed his final layer, exposing his naked body. It was filthy and covered in scratches, but beautiful to her all the same. When she began to direct him into the washing tub, he objected and began to take off her clothes with a practiced hand. As he reached for the final string of her shift, she moved his hand away. 

 “No, tonight I bathe you.” 

 She pushed him down into the small tub and his knees poked out of the water. The ewer sat on the wooden table near the tub, and she plucked it up with her fingers. She grabbed a sponge as well, and began her ministrations, leaning over the lip of the tub to reach him. She grabbed some scissors as well, trimming the beard that had grown over the months in the woods. 

 “Can ye ever forgive me?” A dejected Jamie asked. 

 “For what?” She knew, but she wanted to hear the words coming from him. 

 “For sending you through those stones, for breaking our family.” 

 “I already have.” 

 “What did she- Was she like her sister?” 

 “I don’t know.” Claire worried at her lip. “I- um. I lost her when I went through the stones. I only know she was a girl, because I felt her presence when I came back. She said she loves us.” She began to scrub harder against Jamie’s arm with the sponge to distract herself. 

 The pang in his chest nearly brought his head below surface of the water. All the air in his lungs fled and he was left with nothing. He stopped Claire’s arm and brought her hand to his, squeezing it tight. 

 “Will you ever forgive me?” 

 “Fer what lass?”

 “Not being strong enough. Not protecting her in the one way I could. Not returning to you soon enough.” 

 “I’ve already forgiven ye for anything ye could ever possibly do. And yer not to blame for any of those.” 

 “Then you’re not either. If there is, it’s God for being a cruel bastard. You say you can forgive me for anything, but I’m not sure I can give you what we want anymore.” 

 “What I want is you by my side. Come in the water Sassenach, let me hold my wife. Let me carry this burden wi’ ye.” 

 With the dim light of the fire and candles dotting the room, she was confident he wouldn’t be able to see her body fully. She slugged out of her shift, weighed down by weeks of exhaustion and crawled in between his legs. Water splashed out of the top of the tub, but they paid it no mind. Jamie repeated the ministrations Claire had provided for him, but even more gently on her smooth skin. When she began to doze off tucked safely between his thighs in the water, they were both wrinkly like prunes. Jamie carried her body wrapped tight around his, and placed her on the fresh sheets. 

 He held her naked on their bed. The smooth skin of her back was pressed against the soft tufts of hair on his chest. They needed to talk, but for now, neither wanted to leave the warm bubble of each other’s arms. Jamie was still processing what it all meant, and so was Claire, even after months of enduring it herself. No words could repair the loss they both felt, and the heartache of time spent apart. It would just feel like a hollow repetition of events after their first born. But tonight they would just simply be. Claire looked down at her sleeping husband. For the first time in months, she felt safe. She lightly traced the skin of his face, from temple to cheek, and saw the familiar smile ghost his peaceful rest. She spread a grin in response, the first one that reached her eyes in months.

[rune-writes]

Tending to a Wounded Heart

Fandom: Mystic Messenger

Word Count: 3363

Rating: T

Summary: A look into how MC feels regarding Yoosung's eye injury in the months following the Mint Eye incident.

Note: This is my piece for @mysme-rbb where I got to collab with the amazing @littleaipom. The idea about MC tending to Yoosung's wounded eye came from her, and from there, we explore how both MC and Yoosung dealt with his injury in the months following the incident. It was such a pleasure working with her and a fun experience for sure! Be sure to check out her art too! It's wholesome, heartfelt, and guaranteed to pull at your heartstrings :'))

Read on AO3.

~*~*~*~*~

Every time MC looked at Yoosung, a lump formed at the back of her throat. She tried to ignore it, tried to tell herself that she was over-thinking again. Yoosung always said that it was no big deal, that he could still see well enough with his good eye. But what if it was a big deal? MC suspected that with how often she spotted him groping blindly for things on his left side, or the way he had to pay extra attention when going down the stairs.

“I'm alright, MC,” he’d always say whenever she voiced her concern. “I got this for protecting you. If that had been a LOLOL raid, this’d be my badge of honor.”

If that had been a LOLOL raid, Yoosung wouldn’t have retained an actual injury. She tried to tell him that, to help him with menial tasks; it was the least she could do to ease his burden. But Yoosung always smiled and waved it off, saying there was no need and he could do it himself. MC's heart broke a little every time she saw that.

Today was a surprise visit, a concern-in-disguise, as MC told herself that Yoosung needed to consume healthier meals. So that's what she did, coming up to his apartment carrying a bag filled with freshly-cooked kimchi, grilled mackerel, and hot chicken soup. She wouldn’t say she was the best cook, but her mother had taught her the basics of a healthy meal, and she hoped they suited Yoosung’s palates. It was to her surprise, however, when she spotted him walking out of his apartment building with a big black trash bag in hand, sporting his left side.

Her heart constricted. MC paused midstep, watching him cross the pavement to the garbage dumpster on the side of the building. A limp on his left leg; Yoosung reached the dumpster, lifted the heavy bag, then tossed it inside. He sighed, stretching his back then stretching his arms, rolling his shoulders and neck. He massaged his left thigh, and MC thought she saw a glimmer of pain cross his features. Then he turned around, and for whatever reason, MC stepped back behind the bushes, keeping her eyes on his back as he made his way inside the building.

When Yoosung stumbled on the first step up the stairwell, MC half-moved, then stopped. She’d… probably just be a nuisance, wouldn't she? Her worry would only stress him more. But to see him so weak and vulnerable… Her fingers twitched. MC bit her lower lip and watched as Yoosung let out a soft curse, one hand gripping the railing hard to keep himself from falling flat on his face. Then he straightened his back and sighed once more, gingerly rolling his left ankle before he slowly, and painstakingly, climbed the stairs, keeping his good eye fixed downward on the steps.

She waited until he was out of sight, then waited another five minutes or so until she was sure he was back at his room. MC strode inside the building and up the stairwell to the third floor. The thought that Yoosung had to make this climb every day, up and down, with only one good eye, while still refusing any form of help, made her teeth grit.

She reached his door, then rang the bell. His voice came from inside, telling her to wait. A moment later, the door opened, and Yoosung stood in the doorway. The bandage covering his left eye was half-worn, and MC made a mental note to change it later. Good thing she came after all. The other eye—the good eye—widened at the sight of her, before it glinted, his face breaking into a bright smile. “MC!” His radiant beam teased an involuntary smile out of her.

“I brought you lunch,” she said as he let her in. “I hope that’s okay.”

That was awesome, he said. He wouldn’t have to go out and buy lunch, and, most of all, he got to save money. The innocent grin made her chuckle.

Yoosung’s studio apartment was on the small side, but big enough for a college student. A short hall that immediately opened up to the living area—a combination of bedroom and kitchen in one place. His bed was positioned at the farthest corner by the window, with his desk, computer set, and bookshelves on the other side of it. Just around the corner of the hall was the small kitchen counter, with the small electric stove, small refrigerator, and cupboards overhead. The small dining table acted as a partition between the kitchen and the rest of the apartment, and that was where MC set her bag down. Yoosung's eye sparkled when she took box after steaming box from the bag.

“It’s not much, but I hope you’ll like it."

“Of course I will. You made it.”

A little smile graced her lips. She looked at the clock on the wall. “It's not lunchtime yet though. Is it okay if I put these here first?”

“Sure. Let me get you something to drink. Is coffee good? I was just going to make some for myself.” He moved to the cupboards before she could say anything, then groped blindly for the coffee bag.

That little twinge of pain again. “Hey,” she said, “let me make the coffee.”

But Yoosung only chuckled, the soft, breathy chuckle that, in another occasion, would have sent her heart fluttering. “You’re the guest. I can't let you do that.”

But you’re hurt, MC wanted to say. You’re hurt, and I’m your girlfriend. Please let me do something to help, even if it’s just making you coffee.

He found the grounds next to the teabags, then told her to sit as he went to the coffee maker. She would, but there was an unease in her heart that refused to quiet down. So she kept watch, with one eye at least, as Yoosung poured water into the machine and added coffee grounds above the filter. At the touch of a button, the machine whirred and shook, and coffee began dripping into the pot beneath it. Then, as though noticing her gaze, he looked over his shoulder and met her eyes. Her heart leaped at the flash of his disarming smile.

Maybe he was right. Maybe she was being paranoid. Only having one good eye didn’t mean Yoosung couldn’t do menial tasks like brewing coffee, or climbing down the stairs. MC reassured herself that everything was alright, forced herself to take her eyes off Yoosung's back and resumed taking out the boxes. She was setting her lunch bag down on the floor when trouble occurred in a sharp hiss.

Something crashed. MC whipped her head up and saw Yoosung retracting his left hand then sucking it between his lips. Broken glass scattered over the countertop. What remained of the coffee pot now lay amongst a puddle of freshly-brewed black coffee, splashed across the counter and dripping onto the floor.

In the blink of an eye, MC had reached Yoosung’s side. She grabbed his hand, and he jumped, going tense when her grip turned hard.

“MC…” he tried to say. His hand was burned red, blisters already forming on the back of it. No cuts, thank God. Yoosung attempted to pull away but MC’s hold was firm. “It’s just a little burn,” he said again, even as his fingers twitched, hand strained under the pain.

“Water.”

MC shut off his protests. She brought him to the sink, then turned the tap water on over his burned hand. Yoosung hissed and winced, but he’d stopped struggling, the cool water slowly easing away the pain and the heat. Silence stretched between them, thick and palpable.

“I told you I’d make the coffee.”

Her voice was barely loud enough for him to hear, but he'd heard, and he called her name, the gentleness almost enough to draw her gaze to him, to let herself be lulled by that easy grin again. MC's lips wavered. She bit her tongue and gritted her teeth, forcing back the tears threatening to spill.

No more.

“MC?” He bent over, trying to catch her eyes under her bangs.

“What am I to you?” Her voice was uncharacteristically cold. He stopped. “I’m your girlfriend. Don't I mean anything to you?”

“What are you—?”

She tightened her grip. Yoosung flinched and almost backed up, but her hold rooted him to the spot. MC whipped her head at him, eyes flashing with anger, hurt, frustration, guilt.

“I’m your girlfriend!” So much vehemence. So much force. As if that single sentence was the reason everything happened. “But you wouldn’t—you're pushing me away! Keeping me in the dark; acting tough when you’re clearly in pain! Don’t you know how that makes me feel?” Her breath hitched. Her sight blurred. “You hurt your eye because of me!”

The dam broke. Angry tears burst free. She glared through them, glared until his one bright violet eye widened. In surprise? In realization? She didn't know. MC swallowed past the lump in her throat as tears after tears streamed down her face.

If only Yoosung hadn't gone with Seven that time…

When Seven had gotten the bomb situation at Rika's apartment under control, she'd thought the worst had past. But then Jaehee had received suspicious emails and someone had begun stalking Zen—though, given how popular the actor was, that shouldn't have raised alarms. But after the bomb, they'd all been paranoid, prompting Seven to investigate the emails' source. Everyone, including Yoosung, had been under the impression that those developments had been connected, and that, in turn, had led to the thought that MC's life was still in danger. So when Seven had finally found leads to a place called Mint Eye, Yoosung had offered to come with him.

She should've felt something was amiss; should've stopped him from going when he'd called to let her know. But MC knew, even as the thought kept haunting her mind for the months following it, that Yoosung would have gone with Seven whether or not her life had been at stake. That was just the person he was. He cared about his friends more than his life. And if Yoosung hadn't been there, Seven might not have escaped the place unscathed. MC knew he would have blamed himself for that.

Her hold loosened. MC hung her head, stepping back. “It’s my fault.” Her voice was quiet, broken, shaking. “And you're not giving me any chances to apologize.”

Silence fell. She moved away to fetch the first-aid kit from the bathroom. When she returned, Yoosung was still at the kitchen sink, burned hand held still beneath the pouring water.

She called him, and he jumped, as though coming out of a trance. She nodded toward the bed, lifting the first-aid kit box to emphasize her intention. He fumbled then, turning the tap water off and reaching for a rag to… wipe the messy counter maybe. But MC called again, and he discarded the rag and rounded the dining table where his steaming lunch still waited. MC dragged the desk chair to the bed and sat as Yoosung settled in front of her, jittery, tense, nervous. She set the box down on the low-lying table next to her and opened it.

The tap water should have cooled his hand, but the blisters looked nasty. She searched for burn ointments in the box, found it next to the bandages, then applied it to Yoosung’s hand, gently, carefully. Yoosung hissed, biting his lower lip, and still he acted like the tough guy he was not. So MC pressed a little harder on his tender skin. He gasped. “MC!” His eye flashed, but his indignation quickly died when he remembered her earlier outburst. Silence fell again.

“I’m changing the bandage.”

She reached up and around his head, finding the edge then unwinding the dirty gauze. She felt his gaze follow her, felt it waver and hesitate; saw, from the corner of her eyes, his mouth opening at the beginning of something. But he closed it before anything came out. Yoosung averted his gaze, fidgeting under her touch.

“If you hate the idea of me helping you so much, the least you could've done is take care of your eye properly. What if it gets infected?” MC scoffed, soft, under her breath. “And you call yourself a vet student.”

He mumbled something that sounded like "I don't hate it," but it was too quiet, and he made no effort to say it louder, so MC let him be. As the last of the bandage came off, a half-healed jagged scar greeted MC's eyes, stretching from his eyebrow to just above his cheek bone. Short enough to think that he had gotten away before anything serious happened, but the hacker had to have some skills with the knife, because even with the short gash, he had inflicted permanent damage on Yoosung's eye.

The doctor had done a marvelous job stitching everything together; MC could imagine it wouldn’t even leave a scar once everything healed. But now it was red and looking tender. When was the last time Yoosung changed the bandage? He flinched when MC applied the disinfectant and antibiotics ointment, flinched again when she wrapped the eye with a fresh gauze then held it in place. He kept his good eye down throughout the whole process, his fingers twitching before he clasped them together.

It wasn't until MC closed the first-aid kit and made to throw the used bandage that Yoosung caught her arm. “MC,” he called, hesitant. She glanced at him, at the way he hung his head, or the firm yet lax hold he had on her arm. She could pull away, but she settled back down. He fumbled with his words then, stammering as he tried to find the right thing to say, and MC stayed and waited, because he was holding her hand and she wanted to give him this chance.

“It’s not your fault,” was the first thing he said. The muscles along her jaws twitched. “No—I—I mean—um—” He pressed his lips, eyes darting away as he drew back into himself, looking so small that MC almost felt sorry. Or maybe she did feel sorry. Despite the pain it’d caused her, she knew he’d never meant any harm. The thought made her anger subside. The tension left her in a quiet sigh.

“Is it so hard to ask for help?” she asked. MC looked down at the hand on her wrist. She slipped out of his grasp, then turned his right hand palm-up, holding it, cradling it. He was so precious to her. Why couldn’t he see that? Why couldn’t he realize that him hurting also caused her pain? That, no matter what he said, she had a role in getting him blind.

Permanently damaged. The first time she heard that, when Seven broke down in front of them, she didn’t know what to think, what to feel. Everything had gone muted. The lights had gone dim.

Her fault.

It had been like a chant, or a curse. When MC saw him entering the party with a bandage covering one eye, she had forgotten how to breathe. Even though he’d said that it was no big deal, that everything was over and done with, that she was safe and that was all that mattered.

“What if you got hurt even more? Broke your leg or cut your hand—” she flicked an eye to his left hand, “—burned your hand. Is one eye not enough? Would you wait until you lose a limb before you accept people’s help?”

Would you still say it was nothing even then?

MC choked. Her chest felt tight, suffocating. Why couldn’t he see that?

On her lap, Yoosung had enveloped her hand in his. She noticed his burned finger too late, too close to her face. He wiped her tears, the touch featherlight, gentle, careful.

“I never meant to make you cry.” It was a soft murmur, remorse flickering across his eye. “I thought… I thought I was doing the right thing. That I was protecting you. That I needed to be strong, to act like everything is alright, so you wouldn’t feel guilty.” His jaws clenched, Yoosung shuddered in a quiet breath.

When he said nothing more, MC swallowed her sigh. "Did you know that by refusing help, when it is clear that you need one, you only put the other person in a difficult position?" she asked. "I was in a difficult position. I'm your girlfriend. I know we met through unusual circumstances, and we still barely know each other, but… the way you pushed me away…" Her hold on his hand tightened. "It felt like you didn't need me, that you were saying this was my fault."

"That’s not what I intended—"

"But that's how I perceived it."

They stared at each other, mouths pursed as they fought to contain their confusion and frustration. MC was the first to break eye contact, dropping her gaze to their joined hands. She brushed the back of his hand with her thumb.

The clock ticked, the seconds dragging long and slow until MC wondered how much time had passed, though in reality, one minute had barely gone by. In front of her, Yoosung sat still, stoic as a statue. She felt his gaze but refused to meet it. When at last he spoke, his voice was contrite:

"I'm sorry I made you feel that way." He returned the strength of her hold, prompting her to look up. "I didn't realize. I'm sorry." He shifted his gaze downward, an apologetic crease to his face. "I guess… I don't know, I guess I didn't want to appear weak in front of you. Like you said, we've only just known each other, and I didn't… I didn't want to look so pathetic. Losing an eye—after all that bravado I had when I asked you to be my girlfriend." He gave a self-deprecating scoff. "I was upset, to say the least. Distressed. Angry. But the thought that I did it for you, that I lost an eye for someone I love… it made it worthwhile, bearable. So I thought that I shouldn't mope or whine or complain, because this is my badge of honor, and I should wear it proudly."

The clock ticked again. Yoosung didn't lift his eyes.

"There's nothing wrong with whining," MC said. "In fact, you should whine. You lost an eye, for God's sake! It's only natural that you'd be distressed. But for you to have to deal with all of that yourself… That's not what I want. That's not what any of us want. The others—they've been worried about you too. You've been too cheerful. You act like nothing is wrong when something certainly is. And I understand wanting to appear strong in front of people, I do, but we're your friends! I'm your girlfriend. Shouldn't you trust us to help you figure all this out?"

Yoosung pressed his lips together. "I'm sorry."

She tugged at his hand. "Don't do that again!"

"I know. I'm sorry."

Her throat closed up again. More tears welled in her eyes. Before MC realized what she was doing, she had pulled Yoosung into her arms, crushing him in a tight embrace as sobs overtook her. It was a moment before his arms snaked around her, slowly encompassing her entire being. He whispered "I'm sorry" over and over to her ear. "I'm sorry, I won't do it again, I'm sorry."

When they finally broke free, both of them smiled. She stood up then, reaching for him with one hand winding around and resting on the back of his head. Her lips landed over the softness of his bangs in a gentle kiss, and Yoosung broke into a contented smile.

“Thanks, MC.”

MC pulled away and tilted her head to the side. “For what?”

With the aches of their argument behind them, he reached for her hand, intertwining his fingers in hers. He met her gaze, his eye crinkling as his smile grew into a brilliant beam.

“For being here for me.”

~ END ~

[officialwittek]

pt. 5

*texts are fake, but these are mine* 

word count: 1,966

I have to be dreaming right? There’s no way on god’s green earth that he knows. I can’t believe he heard our conversation. I want to die in a hole. I look at the time and it’s nearly 3:00am. so I can’t call my friends since they’re all asleep. I toss and turn for what feels like years before slowly drifting to sleep

--

*the next day*

The rest of the girls decided to join us for lunch as well, I quickly get dressed and knock on Carly’s door to let her know that I’m ready. She comes out almost immediately and we both head to the restaurant in my car. I can tell she knows something is wrong, but she doesn’t ask the entire ride. We spot our other friends in a corner booth in the back and make our way over. We make small talk and lay out our schedules for the day.

“So... Sage, what happened last night?” Natalie asks, a concerned look on her face, our friends look at her in confusion

“Todd got a call from Jeff at like three in the morning. Is everything ok?” she repeats, I make a face and that’s all they need to know

“Oh my god, he knows doesn’t he..” Erin asks, I nod and feel tears welling in my eyes

“Yea.. it fucking sucks man. He basically told me that he only sees me as a friend and that he’s not over his fucking ex-girlfriend who only used him.. And it’s not like we were dating but I was so.. so in love with him” I reply, letting the tears fall as Corinna rubbed my shoulders and my other friends grabbed my hands

“And now I’m afraid things are going to be awkward when we all hang out together. I never ever wanted that, I don’t want anyone to feel like they need to chose between us like children during their parents divorce” I cry, letting all my emotions out, I’ve never been more thankful that we chose a small, quiet restaurant where we’re the only people here

“No, come on. I’m sure if you explain the situation to everyone they would totally understand” Carly explained, the other girls nodding in agreement

“I can’t.. I can’t explain to them. I don’t know how to put it into words and I don’t want them to be mad at Jeff. He’s their friend too and I know how protective everyone can be at times” I rant, they all nod along, their eyebrows furrowed as they think of something else

“Well, to be honest none of us had anything to do today. Why don’t we go back to your apartment and have another girl’s day? Get your mind off things and we’ll get all the takeout and listen to sad music” Erin suggests, I nod and ask Nat to text Mariah

After lunch we head back to the apartment. I feel like 1:00 pm. is an appropriate time to have some vodka right? I mean it’s 5:00 somewhere. I grab the bottle of Titos from my cabinet and pour it into a cup with some sprite and a lime. I made some for the girls and they all took a glass. We browse through Netflix and choose some Disney movies to watch. We started with the Princess and the Frog.

Four movies later and my phone started buzzing. Matt and Zane were asking where we all were because they were bored and David was busy editing and doing other work. I decided to let them come because they were like one of the girls. They showed up with Mariah and more alcohol.

“So baby what happened?” Mariah asks, I told her I wanted to wait until I could tell her in person

I explained the situation to the three of them, Mariah was incredibly irritated at Jeff, Matt and Zane were also pretty upset as well. I also explained how I didn’t want to make things awkward for everyone in the group and they shouldn’t have to feel like they have to choose between the two of us.

We ordered food for everyone and made more drinks. Out of no where Heath came by with Jason and Toddy. I hoped and prayed Jeff wouldn’t show up, not only because I’m heartbroken but because of the embarrassment I would have to feel.

An hour later everyone was pretty drunk except for Jason, Carly, and Erin who decided to stay sober for everyone who will probably need a ride home later. We were all laughing and having a great time, David hauled ass over here when he heard Zane and I were drunk.

“Oh fuck I forgot Ilya is landing in like an hour, who wants to come with me to pick him up?” David asks, Natalie and I raise our hands while everyone decides to stay back and just wait for us

The car ride over was us loudly singing along to David’s music. I brought some alcohol with me since I needed to escape and I know Ilya wants to turn the fuck up.

“Daddy Ilya” I yell, trying to catch his attention, David and Natalie groan from behind me at the horrible nickname

Ilya quickly runs to the Tesla and hops into the passenger seat. We drove back to my apartment while David filmed Ilya in the front drinking the rest of my vodka. Natalie grabs my arm and points the familiar truck in the garage...

... Who the fuck invited Jeff...

“What’s wrong princess peach?” Ilya asks, noticing that I was still in the Tesla

Natalie pulled the two guys away and explained as best as she could and as fast as she could. David and Ilya nodded their heads and walked over to me. I had shaken off my rush of anxiety while they were talking. To be honest, I don’t know if I’m upset with him for rejecting me or if I’m upset that he shows up to my apartment and will either pretend I don’t exist or pretend like nothing happened.

“Fuck it. Ilya, it’s your job to make me drunk as hell. Gimme” I said, taking the bottle from him and chugging the rest and using some leftover Red Bull

I unlock the door and step inside. Todd, Jeff, and Zane are in the living room talking... well Zane isn’t really talking and to be fair I don’t really know if he’s in this realm right now. The girls and Matt are all standing in the kitchen, giving Jeff side glares and talking in hushed voices. I close the door loudly to get everyone’s attention. They all turn to me and burst into smiles when the notice Ilya. They all greet him and I walk over to the side, grabbing a cup and making myself another drink.

“Shots for the boy” Todd yells, we all gather in the kitchen and I make sure to stand as far away from Jeff as possible, 90% out of embarrassment and 10% out of annoyance and anxiety

The ones who were drinking take shots and we all start catching up with Ilya. He’s telling us stories about work, and things he’s done with Deema. After a few minutes of catching up, the boys went to the parking lot to film some bits in David’s car. The girls gave me THE look and we went to my room and locked the door. Suzy listened while also keeping an ear out for them so there isn’t a repeat of the other night.

“I love Jeff, he’s one of my good friends.. but what the fuck was his thought process before coming here?” Carly asked, annoyed that not even 24 hours after he rejects me he shows up to my place

“Guys, it’s ok. I know this was supposed to be girls night but it turned into a hangout with everyone. And I’ll get over this eventually, I’ll be fine” I say, the room goes silent, even Suzy knows I’m definitely bullshitting

“I know you’re trying to make yourself feel better and trying to comfort us so we don’t worry about you. But babe... before lunch we didn’t know you were in LOVE love with him. Sure he didn’t know about your feelings, but at the same time I think a part of him had to know that the flirtationship between the two of you would’ve ended with someone catching feelings. It sucks that it has to be you. Please just allow yourself to be honest about how you feel. It sucks, but the sooner you confront your emotions the sooner you can start healing” Natalie said, I stare at her with my mouth ajar

“That’s a whole bible verse baby” I reply, feeling a lot better with this girl time but Suzy gives us a signal that the boys are back

We go to the living room and joke around for a few more minutes. After that everyone packs their things, and right when I’m about to go back in my room to get ready for bed I noticed Jeff lingering around a little bit. I shrug it off and enter my room.

“Hey..” a voice says, I freeze and immediately feel all kinds of emotions rise up, just one word and I’m already sobering up

“What do you want Jeff?” I ask, turning around and seeing him slumped over in my doorway

“I just wanted to check in” he replies, I sigh and sit on my bed

“Listen, I know we’re still friends and I know we don’t want to make things awkward for everyone, but for the sake of me and what I need, I would please like some time away from you. I’m really sorry, but I need to heal, I didn’t just have some middle school crush on you man.” “You don’t need to explain anything to me Sage” Jeff cuts me off but I shake my head and pat the space next to me so he can sit

“I’m in love with you. I wrote songs about you, I started craving your touch, your attention. I still loved you at your worse. Believe me, I wanted to make a move but I had no guarantee that you were going to love me back. And now I know, at the end of the day I’ll never be her” I reply, Jeff immediately knew who I was talking about, Ava

Ava and Jeff were together for a few short months, but believe me when I say this was like walking through a dumpster fire on a unicycle that was also on fire. It was clear to everyone from the start that Ava was with him s imply because he was slowly gaining popularity and well... his looks. Long story short apparently they got into a huge fight one night and she admitted that she was only using him for her own gain. It was a touchy time for all of us and Jeff, we told him what we thought and eventually found out (through our fans on insta who are little detectives) and he didn’t want to hear it.

“I should go. I’ll give you your time..” he says quietly, I nod and walk him to the door

After he leaves I slide my back down the door and pull my knees to my chest. I just lost my best friend because I couldn’t keep my dumbass mouth shut. Emotions come rushing through me and I can’t help but cry. I want nothing more than to scream and just crawl into a hole right now. After letting myself accept the sadness I got up and went back to my room. It’s time for me to start moving on.. or at least trying to.

[aestheticseungmean]

My Heart Wanted You- Seo Changbin

Changbin was dating a girl who was using him but he just. couldn’t. see. it. Unfortunately for him, he found out the hard way.

Requested by @hwangscorpio

Warnings: Cussing

3.2K words

Angst but mainly fluff

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“Okay gentlemen, I’ll be waiting on your responses to join this groundbreaking evolution of technology. Have a great day!” A sigh left your lips as you stretched your fingers. Writing notes and comments all while evaluating what each of the men will decide, really takes a toll on you. As the men from other companies left the room, your boss bid them a farewell at the door before slumping in the seat. “Sir, you’re not supposed to sit like that. What would the others think?” You were his assistant which was never good in stories. But, you were respected and depended upon a lot. “_________. I think they would think I am a lazy boss. This is why you are my favorite asset. This company would be underground if it was just me.” Your boss was a young guy, thrown into this work way too early. “It looks like Hex Co. is excited to be in on this. The rest are unknown.”

“I would kill for something alcoholic. Run the notes through the database.” He sighed out, running his fingers through his current blond, moppy locks. “Will do, sir!” “Oh, one more thing.” You turned to look at him expectantly. “Stop calling me sir when we are alone. Makes me sound old.” You replied, “As you wish, master.” Knowing that that wasn’t what he had meant. He wanted you to call him by name. “_____.” A teasing smile graced your lips. “Sorry, Chan.” With your messy notes in hand, you walked towards your desk to input the data. When you first applied for the position, you were only going to do it to pay off student debt. Now, you loved your job, despite the aches and pains. Your boss was friendly, your coworkers were nice, lunch was always delicious. There was always something new to find in the office. One day it’s a pink door and another it’s a drone delivering notes before crashing into a wall.

Everything was perfect. Well, except your best friend Changbin. The thing was, he had a girlfriend. Which isn’t the bad part. No, the bad part was, she was manipulative and a pathological liar. For some odd reason, Changbin just couldn’t see it. The thoughts raced in your head as you inserted the info. “Hey, _____? Can you help me with my computer?” You stifled a laugh towards the younger male who looked at you with wide, confused eyes. “Sure, Jeongin.” It simply started out as just a few minutes until he asked you more and more. Before you knew it, it was time for him to clock out. “You know, I think Jeongin likes you.” “Oh, yeah? How do you reckon that?” You turned to face your boss who eyed your computer only seeing half the work done. “You don’t see those heart eyes he gives you? They’re bigger than that apple on your desk.” Chan let out a chuckle. “And you’re the master of love?” “Absolutely.”

You finished up your work while Chan spun around in the office chair he found. Clicking save, you turned to see your childish boss giggling as he spun faster and faster. “Chan stop, you’re going to get sick.” Eventually, he came to a stop and held his head in his hands, complaining about the world spinning so fast. “Hey, I told you so.” He looked up to find your smug face staring back at him. “You’re mean.” “Whatever, boss.” Walking beside him to clock out, you sighed happily as you left the building. The cold autumn breeze nipped at your cheeks and you thanked the gods that Chan wasn’t one of those bosses that forced you to wear business attire. In fact, that’s a reason he was so popular, he let people wear what they wanted as long as it was appropriate. You buried your face in the sweatshirt you brought knowing that it was in fact a chilly season. “Your sweater is wearing out.” “I know. I’ve had it for years but I still haven’t been able to buy a new one.”

The cool metal of the car door made you recoil, shivering in the process. “There’s still some daylight, come on.” Chan grabbed your hand. “Where are we going?” “To get you a new hoodie. I don’t know how you stay warm with all those holes.” From a distance, it would look like you two were a couple and that is exactly what happened. “_______!” You gagged in disgust at the fake voice you knew oh so well. “Hello, Lila.” “I didn’t know you had such a handsome boyfriend.” A protest started to leave your lips but Chan stopped you. “Yeah, I didn’t know you had such a handsome boyfriend, _______.” You watched as Changbin’s girlfriend batted her mile long, fake eyelashes at Chan. “Where is Changbin?” “Oh he’s busy.” She replied, not even taking her eyes off of the blond. Does she really think you are stupid? Changbin had no plans today and he wanted to surprise Lila with some chocolates. When she thought you weren’t looking, her fingers trailed up Chan’s arms. You cleared your throat and she dropped her hands.

“Have a good night, Lila.” The words were cold and harsh as you pushed Chan away from the girl. He spoke up after you made your way into the store. “She seems um, nice?” “She’s a bitch.” Heat fought off the cold that lingered on your skin. “Colourful words there. Is she really that bad?” You scoffed while scanning through the hoodie section. “She’s always flirting with other guys while she’s dating my friend. He deserves more than that lying, scheming, conniving bitch.” Chan huffed at the new information. “Someone like you?” “Exactly- Wait? What?” You abruptly turned around only to be met by a broad chest. “I told you, I’m the love expert.” He teased. You watched as he reached behind you to pull out a large hoodie. The cloth was shoved towards you expectantly. “You’d look good in this. Plus, it’s soft inside.” A million thoughts pummeled through your mind but you played it off. “So we’re going to ignore the fact that you are my boss yet giving me love advice.”

Chan chuckled, his dimples prominent on his face. “Just think of it as a friend giving another friend love advice.” Breaking your gaze off of his, you looked towards the hoodie he had handed you. It was a maroon color and was definitely going to be big on you but you liked that. You liked getting swallowed up by your hoodies, coats, sweaters, and sweatshirts. It offered you a sense of comfort and warmth considering you were unreasonably cold 24/8. “So we’re friends?” Chan nodded. “I’d like to think so.” “I like that.” He smiled once again and led you to the cash register. “Just these items?” “Yes.” The cashier looked unamused at everything. It made you happy because you don’t think you could handle another person fawning over your boss. “Have a good night.” “You too, miss.” Chan handed the bag to you outside of the store. Respectfully, he looked away as you switched hoodies which you found cute because you had on a shirt underneath.

“Okay, I’m done.” “Do you want to keep this hoodie?” You shook your head. “Then can I do the honours of throwing it away?” “How about we do it together?” A gleam in his eyes signified that he agreed to that. When you reached the familiar, pristine parking lot, the two of you walked towards the dumpster and threw away the tattered fabric. “Thank you, but I must be going.” “Have a good night and see you tomorrow!” You wished him a good night as well and entered your car. The silent rumble of the engine coming to life sent a rush of excitement through you. “I’m going home to sleep!” Except, it wasn’t that easy. The lights were on which was unusual considering you don’t have a roommate. “Hello?” A blanket was sprawled out on the guest bed and all that peeked out was soft brown hair that belonged to your best friend. “Bin?” The blanket shuffled and warm yet tired eyes peeked up at you. “I went for a walk today but it got too cold. I hope you don’t mind that I crashed here.”

“Of course not. You are welcome here all the time.” Changbin smiled a little and sat up, the blanket falling to his lap. “Have you eaten yet?” “No, I was waiting on Lila but she never came.” The nerve of that bitch. Anyone could see how much Changbin was putting into this relationship and she was throwing it all away. “Are you okay?” A shiver ran down his spine at the motherly look he was receiving. “I’m okay, I promise.” “Let’s go make some food.” You took his hand and dragged him to the kitchen to make macaroni. Sure it was midnight but it doesn’t matter. When the light hit his face, you could see his tear stained cheeks. “Changbin-“ “I can’t help it. I know she’s not in the relationship anymore but I love her.” You rested your head against his and sighed. “I know. I just wish you could see the others who love you more.” Changbin pulled away first and directed his attention towards making the food.

——————————————

The next day, Changbin was gone before you finished getting ready for work. It was disheartening but fair considering you pushed into his life. You topped off your outfit consisting of simple jeans, blouse and the sweatshirt Chan got you with a toboggan. The office was warm as you entered making you happy. “You look good today. Is that a new hoodie?” Unfortunately, you were not alone for long. “Yes it is, Jeongin. And thank you, you look good today as well.” The younger boy beamed with pride, ecstatic that you thought he looked good. “I brought a hot chocolate for my favorite assistant! Oh, Jeongin. You’re early. I’m afraid I didn’t get you one but if you want, I’ll give you five dollars so you can get one.” “It’s okay, hyung.” He went to work leaving you and Chan alone. “First of all, I am your only assistant. Second, give me the hot coco because I had a restless night.”

You took a sip of the steaming liquid and sighed. “What happened?” “Changbin crashed at my place because his fucking girlfriend stood him up. He cried. Cried. I hate that bitch.” The pencil in your other hand cracked under your anger. “Calm down. There’s only so much you can make someone see.” He shuffled a few things around on your desk to make room for him to sit. “I know.” “Here, let me take you to lunch today.” You nodded, allowing him to smile and tell you to make sure he has enough time to take you to get food. The hours leading up to lunch were monotone, filled with boringness except Chan occasionally pestering you. Your phone buzzed violently on the desk, you picked it up and answered the call without looking at the ID. “Hello?” “Can we go out to eat today? I want to be around someone.” It was Changbin. It hurt you hearing the amount of pain that was in his voice, signalling he was alone today as well. “My boss wants to take me to lunch but I’ll cancel so I can go with you.”

“It’s okay. I don’t want to impose.” “Changbin. Just come to my work and we will all three go. I want to be there for you. You know that.” A sniffle from the other side. “Okay. I’m heading that way now.” “I love you, Binnie.” A single sob let out before he hung up, getting ready to go see you. Banging your head against the desk sounded like an amazing option right now. Yet, you knew you wouldn’t be able to get away with it. “Hey, you're almost ready?” “I hope you don’t mind but Changbin’s in his way here and I invited him to tag along.” Chan giggled and ruffled your hair before motioning to stand up. “Of course I don’t mind. I feel like a proud dad watching their kid chase after someone. Don’t mind me.” Rolling your eyes playfully at his antics, you grabbed the hoodie that was discarded earlier and put off to the side. It was like you were two all of a sudden when you mixed up the holes. It was a sight to see when Changbin walked in. On one side, you had Jeongin trying to pull up the hoodie and on the other was Chan doing the same. “Put your hands up!” “I’m trying, Chan!” He scoffed and tugged at the material. “Try harder.”

Changbin laughed at the scene in front of him knowing that he’s been in the boys’ position. With Jeongin being able to free his side, Chan was able to slip his side off scrunching up the hoodie and put it over your head. “Arm.” You turned red as you saw Changbin watching you get babied by your boss. “I said arm. Are you not paying attention?” He turned to see what you were staring at and smiled. “Oh, your 𝑐𝑟𝑢𝑠ℎ is here.” You put your hand through the arm hole and shoved him. “Shut up.” Chan made a move to do the other side as well but you put your arm through it before he could. “No.” Changbin was taken by surprise when you hugged him tightly. “Please forget you ever saw that.” He smiled but shook his head. “No can do.” “Hey, go get your wallet and phone before we leave.” Your friend eyed your boss and felt you move away, immediately missing your warmth. “Okay, got it.” “HAVE FUN, _____!” Jeongin yelled at before you left and you waved at him and said “I will.”

The diner was a 60’s style diner with girls on skates. “I wanted to work here because they rode on roller skates.” The only catch though, you’d have to wear the outfits too. A tall waitress rolled up to you while pulling out her order sheet. “What can I get you guys to drink?” You looked at the drink names and snorted. “I’ll have the Groovy Ginger Ale.” The words were choked out as you continued to read the names. “I would like a Disco Dew.” Changbin recited, smiling at how easily amused you were. Chan was last. “I’ll take a Funky Fanta.” She clicked her pen and gave off the server’s anthem. “I’ll be back in a few minutes to get your order.” Chan nodded and thanked her. “Okay, I take it back. I wouldn’t be able to work here.” Changbin tilted his head confused. “Why?” “Imagine people saying Funky Fanta except it’s in different tones and voices.” Both of them shook their heads at the thought. Soon, the waitress came back to get the food order.

“I have to use the restroom real quick.” You and Chan nodded and watched Changbin walk away. The doorbell chimed and a familiar face walked in. Your eyes widened in surprise because she was with a boy. She noticed you right away. “Fancy seeing you guys here. Don’t you guys work or something?” “Yes, Lila. We are on a lunch break and who is he?” Lila flashed a smile over to Chan. “He’s my friend.” “Where’s Changbin?” You knew the answer but you wanted to know what stupid lie she was going to come up with. “I’m going to go find us a table.” The male placed a quick peck on her lips before she pulled him back in for a longer one. Behind them stood a crushed heart watching the whole thing. “L-Lila?” Her face dropped and she quickly turned around. “Binbin!” Changbin side stepped her attempt at a hug and a kiss. “Looks like he was a really good friend.” Lila pursed her thousand dollar lips which weren’t done well. “Bin don’t be this way, you haven’t returned my texts. I thought you didn’t love me anymore.”

The customers started to stare at the commotion, clearly feeling bad for the fake girl. “I didn’t return your texts?” You knew this was going to get ugly soon and clearly Chan did to. His body was tense next to yours. Changbin pulled out his phone and showed her the texts. “It was the other way around. I was the one texting you and you were off with other people. I should’ve listened to _____!” Lila’s face turned ugly as she became angry. “YOU MEAN THAT WHORE WHO’S CLEARLY FUCKING HER BOSS?” Changbin started to say something but you stood up. Her face smelled like cheap grandma perfume but you ignored it. “I AM NOT FUCKING MY BOSS. HE IS MY FRIEND OUTSIDE OF WORK. FURTHERMORE, IF I WERE TO FUCK ANYONE, IT’D BE WITH THE PERSON YOU FUCKED OVER.” Her mile long nails scraped your face as she slapped you. Seething, you punched her. Hard. You heard a crack and blood spilled from her nose. Still angry, you went back for more before Changbin carried you outside.

The cold air cooled you down and you focused on the male in front of you. “You told me you were okay! You promised!” He couldn’t keep eye contact, instead he cried. “I couldn’t force myself to do it.” “If you still love her, I can’t keep being the person you go to to cry. I love you but this whole hurting yourself is not okay.” You turned to walk back into the diner to get Chan only to see him walking out. “I paid and the lunch is here. We are not allowed back in there again.” “It’s okay.” The mood was tense as you guys ate in the meeting room. Changbin left only saying a small bye and thank you. “He likes you too.” “CHAN JUST STOP WITH THIS LOVE CRAP. I’M SICK OF IT ALREADY.” This time, you didn’t care if you hurt yourself. You slammed your head on the hard table and cried. Cried from the pain in your head, cried from anger, from your heart hurting. “I want you to go home early today. Finish what work you were doing and go home. Go to bed.” Chan’s voice wasn’t soft as usual. It was commanding. And, you complied.

The apartment was quiet save for the fish tank filter. You threw your stuff to the ground and noticed that Changbin’s shoes were set by the door. You walked towards the guest room to find him hunched on the floor crying. He was surrounded by ripped up photos of him and Lila. “Binnie?” Changbin looked up, the tears in his eyes making your heart ache. “If I asked you to stay, would you?” “Of course.” You sat down next to him and pulled him close before stroking his hair. “I’ve been fighting my feelings. I knew that deep down inside, she wasn’t right for me but I clinged onto her. But I realized today that she wasn’t the one my heart wanted.” He paused for a minute to wipe his nose with the sleeve of his coat. “My heart longed for the person who loved me even though I shut them out. I rejected their love because I was too scared to ruin the friendship.” “Changbin-“ Your fingers paused as you thought about what he was saying. “My heart wanted you.”

[a-pretty-nerd]

Rebellion

Tomura Shigaraki x AllMight!Daughter! Reader

Prologue

Premis:

When The League of Villians discovers that AllMight has a daughter, they are quick to snatch you up and hold you hostage. Shigaraki had a careful and thought out plan, but that was before you got there. Now you're in the mood for some not-so-healthy rebellion.

word count: 1405

A/N: Welcome to the dumpster fire!

Don't froget, I have a patreon now! So go support me there to get some nice and spicy, exclusive content, AND I'll only be accepting direct requests from Patrons now. Patrons will also be able to vote on what projects I focus on next. So please check me out there! I love you guys, and I hope you enjoy the prologue. I'm so excited for this one! 💕

Chapter 1

This was your mother's idea.

It was your mother's idea and your father played along. So shortly after graduation, you caught a plane to Japan to spend the summer with your father. After his early retirement, he had a lot more free time and your mother intended to exploit that.

You've been to Japan a handful of times to visit, but you spent the majority of your life with your mom in America. You've never been excited to go to Japan. The trips were usually filled with an unspoken sense of obligation and tension. Your father was always distant, even when you came to visit. He was always busy and even when he wasn't, there was a rift between the two of you. He just wasn't around enough to really be a father to you.

But you hoped that this time things would be better. Maybe now that it was just you and him, you could patch things up. Get to know AllMight a little better. That’s how you knew him. Not as your father, not even as Toshinori Yagi, but as AllMight.

The pressure in your ears began to subside and eventually pop as the plane landed. Soon you shuffled onto the ramp and into the bustling airport. You looked up at the signs for directions. Good thing a lot is in English, your Japanese is getting sloppy. What was that character again??

Eventually, you found him. You almost missed him. When you were a kid, he always put on a big show. He always had a driver pick you and your mom up from the airport to take you back to his luxury apartment, which he rarely used. But no, this time he was here in the flesh and what was even weirder was how he looked.

You had seen the fight on the news. The resurgence of All for One had gone viral and everyone knew. You would have taken the time to be more concerned about AllMight, if it wasn't for your mid-terms that week. Now he stood there, a shadow of the man he once was. Maybe things would be different this time.

"Hey! Over here!" He called out as he stretched a scrawny arm out and waved.

"Hey!" You called back with a smile. You let go of your luggage to greet him with a hug.

"I'm so glad you made it. How was the flight?" He spoke softly. You had heard the change over the phone, but in person, it was worse.

"Long."

"Heh, I bet. You hungry? Let's grab lunch." He took your luggage and began rolling it behind him as you walked. When you finally sat down for lunch, he suddenly perked up. "I almost forgot! I got you something, for graduation." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small wooden box. Inside sat a black and gold pin in the shape of a graduation cap. For a second you didn't know what to say. Clearly, it was expensive. But you didn't know what the hell to do with it. Put it on your jacket? You would have much rather preferred the money it cost than the little shiny thing in front of you.

"It's beautiful. Thank you." You smiled in an attempt to appear grateful. You took the pin out and stuck it to the lapel of your denim jacket.

"I'm sorry I couldn't be there on the big day. It’s just that UA has had me pretty busy since security got tighter."

"Don't worry about it. I get it. How are things at the UA?" You asked. Anything to get him to talk, anything but silence. He went on and before you knew it lunch was over and you made your way back to his apartment.

"When did you move?" You asked as you kicked your shoes off at the door. The place was nice but much smaller. Nothing like the flashy penthouse from when you were a kid. It was quaint and homey. He even had a few house plants sitting around.

"Oh, a while back. The guest bed's over here." He showed you to your room which sat cold and alone in the dark. "You must be tired. I'll let you get settled before dinner."

"Hey, uh...is there a gym nearby by any chance?" You asked before he shut the door.

"Uh yeah, there's one in the building downstairs. You work out?" He asked awkwardly. You shrugged.

"I like to in my spare time. Its good to stay active."

"Yeah it is...it is...Well, I'll leave you to it." He said before closing the bedroom door. Damn, he was awkward. It’s like even as an adult he didn't know what to do with you. You were starting to regret coming here after all. But apart of you was determined to give the old man one last chance to be a father.

One. Last. Chance.

You couldn't sleep that night. Jet lag was getting to you, and despite being incredibly exhausted, you didn't sleep a wink. You decided to make yourself a cup of coffee, only to find he didn't keep any in the house. That’s right, he always preferred tea. So when he shuffled into the living room at 5 am and found you watching tv, wide awake, he offered to take you out for a cup before work.

"You have work today?" You asked as you watched him shuffle back to his room.

"I know, I'm sorry. Hey, why don't you come with me! I'm sure they'd let you follow your old man around for a day! What'd'ya say? It'll be fun." There he goes, talking to you like your a little kid. You'd think after graduating college he'd at least stop that.

"Didn't you say security is tight now? You said students were even living in dorms now last we spoke on the phone. You sure they'd let me in to just...observe all day." AllMight paused.

"Sure! You're my daughter after all." The idea embarrassed you just a little bit, but it sounded better than sitting around his apartment all day. You agreed.

You regretted it almost as soon as you got there. Most people, even his coworkers, had no idea you even existed. He never talked about you and every shocked face reminded you that. You fought the day with a horribly forced smile on your face. You stayed in the teacher's office when he taught classes. You sat there, reading on your phone for hours on end.

"You just graduated, right?" A deep voice asked from behind a computer. You looked up and turned to look over at Mr. Aizawa who sat at his desk. Looking outrageously bored and just as tired as you.

"Sorry?"

"What was your major?" He asked, looking back at the computer screen and going back to work.

"Forensic psychology and law."

"You wanna be a hero, like your old man?" He droned on.

"God, no. Hero work isn't for me."

"Yeah? What are you gonna do with your degree?" He seemed amused by your distaste for hero work. As far as you were concerned, heros were just cops with superpowers. And where you came from, that had its own set of issues.

"I have a job lined up with an office as a junior detective in New York."

"You want to be a detective?" He raised a brow and looked up at you.

"Something like that. I just want to actually help people."

"You don't think heros help people?"

"Not where I'm from." The conversation fizzled out from there. Occasionally teachers would leave and come back, starting small talk and then excusing themselves again. They were all nice enough, though, you tended to favor Aizawa's company. He often worked as a detective in many cases to catch criminals. So you could talk true crime with him easily. He also brought you a cup of coffee.

Soon the day came to an end and you walked with AllMight back to his car. Unfortunately, you weren't alone. Across the street, a pair of binoculars peered at you through a bush.

"Going home already, AllMight-I'm tired!"

"Wait, who's that girl?"

"Girl? Where? In the car!?"

[btsslowburnfic]

BTS Meeting your pets (Hyung line)

Happy Fluffy Friday! I wanted to do all members (and will) but my job had other plans for me today and this evening. Ask box is open ^_^ Enjoy 

BTS reacts: Meeting your Pet(s) Hyung line

Jin:  You and Jin had been dating for almost a year when you asked him to come over to your house since you still lived with your parents. You had been pretty lowkey with them about what your boyfriend did for a living because you didn’t want them to make a big deal about it and you had been putting it off as well because your mom freaked out when she saw a picture of how handsome he was and started shouting about how beautiful her grandchildren were going to be. Yeah. So you hadn’t exactly been in a hurry to bring Jin over.But he had asked and so now the two of you were walking into your parent’s apartment complex.

“Stop being so nervous Jagiya, I’m sure everything will go great,” he gently rubbed your back.

“I have already warned you. My mom is crazy. My dad is fine. And Pete is a loud pervert.”

“Excuse me?” He raised his eyebrows at you.

You took a deep breath. “You’ll see.” 

Jin was suddenly the nervous one. The two of you entered your parent’s house. “Mom, Dad, we’re here!” you yell as you enter the family foyer. 

“Hello!!!” you hear your mom yell as she comes over to greet the two of you. “Oh my goodness, you are even more handsome in person!” She says as she fawns over Jin.

His face turns red, “Oh thank you. Here, we brought you these,” he hands over a box of cookies the two of you had made earlier.

“Thank you so much, come on in.” Your mother takes the baked goods and leads the way into the living room.

“Where’s dad?” you ask as you see him coming out of their bedroom.

Your dad gives you an awkward thumbs up, “you must be SeokJin.” your dad bows.

“Just Jin is fine,” he shakes his hand.

“Thank you for taking such good care of my daughter.”

“Of course. Of course. Thank you for having me over.” 

“KISS THOSE LIPS” a loud voice peels through the air. Your eyes go wide as you stare at your dad.

“BRING PETEY OUT” 

The four of you awkwardly stand in silence for a moment and then Jin starts to awkwardly laugh, resulting in a mocking laugh sound coming from the bedroom. “KEKEKEKEKEKE”

“Daaaaaadddddd…..” you moan.

It’s your dad’s turn to blush. “I apologize. Petey is our parrot. I moved his cage this afternoon but you know. He’s just loud.” your dad runs his hand through his hair and gestures apologetically.

“LET PETEY PLAY. YEAH. BRING THOSE LIPS”

“I uh…” Your dad tries again to apologize for the parrot.

At this point you and Jin are cackling with laughter and your poor Dad is heading back to the bedroom to see the bird.

Your mom rolls her eyes. “He and his work friends used to think it was funny to teach him to say all sorts of things. Of course that was decades go before we had [y/n] here. These parrots do live a long time. I apologize.” She sighs and goes to the kitchen.

“Is this why you didn’t want me to come over?” Jin dries his eyes, crying from laughter.

“Yessss…” you admit. 

“I think talking birds are really interesting. Bring that bird out here. I’ll show him these lips.” he jokes as he kisses your forehead. 

Suga/Yoongi: “No. No pets.” Yoongi puts his foot down. Or at least tries to. It’s very hard with you snuggling the adorable fluffy kittens that have been dumped behind your apartment. You and your husband had just returned from walking to the convenience store when you heard the tiniest mewing from the dumpsters. Of course you just had to investigate.

“But these babies don’t have a home. They are literally homeless living in the streets.” you say, feeling the tears well up in our eyes. “If we don’t take them they could die.”

“It’s a busy street, I’m sure someone else will come along and take them,” he tries to get you to quickly move along but now you are holding the little gray and white one.  

“It IS a busy street. They could get hit by a car. Please? I won’t be able to sleep knowing that they’re out here. Please?” you pout, while holding the little kitten to your chest. 

“Aish. We’re never home, we can’t take care of pets,” he refuses to pick up the little black kitten pawing at his shoe laces.

“You’re never home!” you counter, “ I’m home all the time. I work from home, remember? And my sister or parents can watch them when we both travel. Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaassssseeeee.”

Yoongi walks over and strokes your face. “Is this really that big of a deal to you?”

 “ Yes. Please. Just for tonight and then we can take them to a shelter or something tomorrow.” You wrangle the other kitten and look at him, pleading.

“Aish. Fine. Fine. But tomorrow, straight to the shelter.” he sighs as he starts to walk towards the apartment building.

“Hey!” you yell as  one of the kittens tries to get out of your grip. Yoongi walks over and takes it, the little black one and snuggles it to his chest.

“Hey. Don’t be so rude to her. She’s the reason you’re getting off the streets, yeah?” He pets the kitten’s head.

You lock the kittens in the bathroom with some water while the two of you go to buy a litter box and some cat food and you are amazed at the amount of time and thought that he is putting into buying these purchases for your 12 hour pets. When you meet back up at the checkout counter he has toys, a bed, and treats in the cart in addition to the food and litter you came here to buy. You eye him suspiciously. 

“What?” he says, noticing your stare.

“It uh, just seems like a lot for two little babies who we will be abandoning tomorrow is all.”

“Uh-huh,” he cocks his head to the side and flicks his tongue. “Well, I had a little talk with Belbes on the way up to the apartment and we decided on a trial run.”

“Belbes? You named one of them?” You say incredulously as you wait in line to pay.

“Yes, he’s the black one. You can name the other one.” he turns around and you just smile and shake your head.

---------- 2 years later Yoongi still liked to tease that Belbes and Gongdan were on a trial run whenever they would knock over water glasses or scratch on the doorframes, but the four of you all knew they weren’t going anywhere. 

JHope/Hobi: It wasn’t your fault that Hobi hadn’t asked you about pets on the first or second or twentieth date. Or that the two of you didn’t discuss things that each of you were afraid of until today. He had wanted to go to the Gondola ride up the mountain and you had refused. You were terrified of heights. You were fine with hiking up the mountain and back down. In fact you would rather walk the 8 kilometers than every set foot in one of those cable cars. But you felt bad because he had planned this date. “I just hate heights. I know statistically it’s safe and that driving is much more dangerous but it just scares me.” you say, hugging yourself with your arms and feeling awful for ruining things. 

“No baby it’s fine, I didn’t know.” he wraps his arms around you, hugging you close to his body “I wouldn’t make you do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. Let me change shoes and we can walk up the mountain instead. “Ok?” You nod our head as the two of you walk back to the car. “I totally understand. I hate snakes. Am terrified of them and they brought one out for the show and I had to sit there. It was awful and I wanted to cry but I didn’t because we were filming. But I went home and scrubbed my body and threw those clothes away.” 

His story is meant to be comforting, but it is not at all to you because now all you can envision is him breaking up with you because you have a pet snake. You feel like there is ice in your veins and you stand there for a minute trying to think of how to proceed. 

“Wow. that’s awful that they did that.” you respond.

“Yeah, I think they thought I was a little afraid so it would be funny but it wasn’t. Oh well. Now I never have to see or touch a snake again so it’s all good.” he smiles at you as he stands up from changing shoes. “What’s wrong?”

You blink a few times. “Uhhh…”

“I told you, don’t worry about the Gondola. I’m just happy to spend time with you, ok?” he takes your hand and walks the two of you over to the trail.

You spend the whole hike agonizing about what to do. You’ve had your snake for 3 years. You can’t just abandon him. Maybe the two of you can just never go to your apartment. But then snake would be lonely. Maybe he could go live with your brother? His kids might like a snake. No. They might hurt the snake. You sigh. 

“[Y/N]? I feel like you’re somewhere else. If you don’t want to be here we can go do something else,” he says looking at you concerned.

“No. It’s not that. I would feel this way right now no matter where I am. I uh...I guess I have something to tell you. And if you want to break up with me because of it, then I understand completely. I really do.” you breath out, twilling the tears to not fall.

“Oh god. What? What happened?” he says, his mind immediately going to the worst. You cheated on him, you were tired of him always being away on work, you didn’t love him anymore. He felt like the air was leaving his lungs and he sat down on a rock.

You are trying to not cry as you prepare to get dumped and work on forming the words, “I..have...a….pet….snake.” you sob.

To your shock and slight annoyance he starts laughing.  “Why are you laughing at me?!” you cry, wiping snot on your shirt like a little kid.

“I thought you were breaking up with me.” he smiles at you and stands up.

“Well I can’t get rid of my pet so I’m pretty sure you’re going to break up with me.” your body shakes with each sob. “Go on. Get it over with.” 

He takes your hands in his, “It’s 1 snake? Right? And it lives in a terrarium right?”

You nod your head.”And Noodle is a good snake. He can’t even bite. He just wants to hang out on his rock in the sunshine.”

“His name is Noodle?” Hobi asks, trying to get you to stop crying.

“Yessss” you are still crying.

“Well how about I go and meet Noodle right now. Will that make you feel better? As long as he stays in the cage when I’m there it will be ok.”

“Are you sure?” you ask, your eyes starting to dry.

“Yes, I love you more than I’m afraid of a small snake.”

You smile, “What about more than a big snake?” you tease.

“Don’t push your luck,” he kisses you.

Rm/Namjoon: It was an overcast day in Seoul and Namjoon had decided to come read at the park. It was mostly not busy since it was the middle of the day and he found his favorite bench, under a tree. Things were going quite nice and normal until he suddenly felt something hit his book. He lowered the book from his field of vision and found himself facing a large yellow dog, holding a Neon green Frisbee. “Oh. Hey there is this yours?” he asks the dog, taking the Frisbee from its mouth. He then notices the dog is dragging a leash behind him. “Huh. I feel like you’re not supposed to be here.” He marks the page and closes the book, sticking it in his satchel. “Let’s see,” he grabs the dog’s lead and searches the collar for a tag. “Halabeoji. Grandpa??? Who names their dog that?” he sees a number on the back of the collar. [Y/N] [Y##] he texts the number.

[NJ]: Hello. I found your dog. I’m at a bench south of the hill in the park.

He pets the dog while he stares at his phone and waits.

[Y/N]: Oh thank you thank you I will be right there!!!!

He doesn’t have to wait long as he hears a voice frantically yelling out “HALABEOJI!?! Where are you!?!?” 

“Hey!” he yells and waves.

“Oh thank God” you mutter, ”Thank You!!!!”  you yell as you jog over to your dog and to the man holding your pet’s leash. “Thank you so much. I am so sorry. He’s never done this before. Some kids threw a frisbee and he lost his mind.” You are now standing in front of Namjoon who is still holding the leash.

“It’s no trouble. He just got here.” he hands the leash over to you and you crouch down next to your dog’s face, “You are so bad. Such a naughty dog. It’s a good thing I love you” You say these words with the sweetest voice ever while rubbing your dog’s ears.  You stand up. 

“Thank you so much for grabbing him, I don’t know what I would have done if he wasn’t on the other side of this hill. We usually don’t come to this park.”

“Yeah, the kids hang out on that side of the hill because it’s where the playground and basketball courts are. This is the good side of the park. It’s nice and quiet over here.” he smiles as he sits back down on the bench.

“Good to know.” you reply as Halabeoji walks up and nudges Namjoon’s legs asking for pets. “Sorry,” you start to call him back towards you.

“No it’s fine. I love dogs. My dog lives with my parents because I travel too much but I do really like them.” he pets your dog who has now progressed into asking for belly rubs. He moves fast.

“Oh cool. What kind of dog do you have?” You walk over and have a seat on the bench next to him.

He takes out his phone and shows a picture of his white fluffy dog. 

“So cute! So fluffy!!!!!” You squeal.

“Yeah he’s pretty awesome.” Namjoon smiles. 

You look at your watch. “Ughhh. I have to go, we just came here on my lunch break and have a zoom meeting in half an hour. You totally saved my day. Thanks so much!” You stand up and wrap the leash around your hand.  

“It’s no trouble.” he responds. He pauses for a few seconds and then adds “Ummm...I’ll be here again tomorrow if you want to tell me why your dog is named grandpa.” he flashes his trademark dimples at you.

You laugh, “Ok, it’s a deal. I’ll see you tomorrow.” you smile and start walking back to your home office; did your dog just get you a date? 

[tloujm]

Part XVII: Funnel of Love

Author’s Notes: Sorry it took so long.

Genre: Fluff + Angst = this chapter

Summary: This takes place right after the last chapter. The newly engaged couple share the news with their loved ones. The wedding planning pressure is on. 

Ship: Joel x Reader

“Well, well, well. Big bro is doing it for real this time, huh.” Tommy began with a wide grin on his face. “Congratulations, Joel. I mean it. I always knew it was gonna be the two of you since the first day y’all showed up at the gates.” Joel relieved one of the watchtower guards so he could talk to Tommy about the proposal. They were both up in the small wooden shelter, rifles in hand, glancing between each other and the world beyond the gates.

“Thanks, brother.” Joel donned a bashful smirk.

“So do I get to be best man?” Tommy asked.

“Weren’t you already best man?” Joel countered.

“Yeah, but that time didn’t really count.” Tommy explained. Joel shot him a glare as a response to the dismissal of his first marriage. He knew that this time was different though, so he couldn’t blame him.

“‘Course you’re my best man.”

*****

“Joel? Miller? Of the infamous Miller brothers?” Jesse exclaimed.

“You knew we were together.” You said. Jesse was your closest friend at the settlement, therefore, he was the first person you told. You had reservations about sharing the news with him because, for a moment while you and Joel were broken up, you grew feelings for Jesse. It was something you never shared out loud or in your journal. Not sure of whether the feelings truly stemmed from Jesse himself or your emotions from Joel, you didn’t feel right giving weight to those thoughts. Despite Joel’s suggestion, you always figured Jesse’s feelings were purely platonic anyway.

“Yeah, I know. It just seems very official. I didn’t think people still did that these days.”

“He did manage to surprise me. It was very romantic. You should take some notes just in case you feel compelled to do the same with a special somebody.”

“Take notes? From Joel? Miller? I can be quite romantic on my own, thank you.” Jesse turned to you. “But listen, I’m happy for you. Whatever you need for your upcoming nuptials, let me know.”

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” You responded. It fell silent for a moment while the two of you were cleaning up the stable. 

“I bet you Joel can get you guys a senior discount on a wedding cake from the bakery.” Jesse spoke up. He broke into a fit of laughter as you dropped your broom and threw a handful of hay at him.

“He is not even that old.” You responded defensively.

“No, no. He’s just regular old.” Jesse reasoned jokingly.

“He’s young at heart!”

“(Y/N), He plays the guitar on a rocking chair and whittles for fun.”

“He does other things for fun that I can tell you right now he is not too old for.” You replied with a coy tone in your voice. 

“Alright, alright.” Jesse shook his head playfully and continued sweeping up the straw on the ground. “The jury is still out on how old he is, but I suppose we can both agree that he’s not geriatric.” He reflexively ducked when he heard you drop the broom again to pick up some more hay. 

“So I’m invited to the wedding then?” He asked seriously.

“Of course you are! You’re my best friend.” You replied.

He clears his throat. “Yeah…”

*****

“Honey, I’m home.” Joel said. The words flew out his mouth in a jovial tone. He had never said those words before. It reminded him of a husband from the 1950s coming home from a day at the office. That particular visual didn’t enthuse him, but the idea of seeing you again did. He knew that he’d never wear a suit and work in an office, but he hoped that the rest of his life consisted of coming home to you.

“My love, I’m in here.” Your voice carried from the kitchen. He quickly followed until he stopped right behind you. His arms snaked around your waist as he kissed the top of your head. “What did you do today?”

“I spent some time with Tommy.” He went to go sit down at the island.

“Oh?”

“He asked how our trip went.” He began. You turned to face him.

“You told him about us?” You asked, smiling. He nodded.

“Yeah,” He chuckled. “He asked to be my best man. Did you tell Maria?”

“Yeah, I told her after Jesse.”

“Oh good. He knows.” He began sarcastically. “I better stop catchin’ him gazing at my bride then.”

“Joel, stop. He always knew we were together. But as for Maria, she was super excited. She started talking about wedding stuff like we weren’t living in some fungal zombie infested world. It’s not like I can go dress shopping, or cake tasting or pick out venues. I mean honestly, what’s the point of a wedding?”

“You don’t wanna have a wedding?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” You shrug. “All I want is to get married to you. She was just planning it all out the second I told her and I was feeling overwhelmed.”

“She’s just excited. Take a breath then go back and talk to her. If anyone’s got the connections to throw a wedding, it’s her.”

“What was your wedding like?” You asked.

“You wanna know?” You nodded. He sighed. “It wasn’t much. We cut costs wherever we could so I wore a hand-me-down suit from my dad and Tommy wore a hand-me-down suit from me. The only thing that matched on our suits were the buteniers. It was in one of her aunt’s backyard. It was dead in the middle of summer after school let out, but the only decorations were red, green and blue Christmas tree lights that she put on the bushes. I remember her aunt tasked me and Tommy with going to get some flowers. She gave us some money, but my God, I had no idea how expensive real flowers were. I bought Sarah’s mom a bouquet from the florist while Tommy dumpster dived for some dying flowers that they had just thrown out for the rest of the wedding party.” He shrugged. “The ceremony was quick. The reception was a potluck; everyone brought a dish and their own fold out chairs. Outside of my cousin singing a song, the music was from a boombox. It was simple, but it all came together. I had my own issues with my parents and her side of the family didn’t like me much after I knocked her up, but for that one day, we all got along and it was nice.” 

“Oh. Wow. At least everyone got along.”

He chuckled. “I know it was nothing impressive. It was a shotgun wedding for a couple of teenagers. But I don’t want you to worry about how that went. What matters is now and how we want things to go for us.”

You smiled. “Our wedding can go the exact same way and I wouldn’t care so long as you’re there.”

****

“So,” Maria slammed down a stack of wedding magazines on the coffee table. “I think looking through these would be a good start.”

Maria invited you and some other women over one evening to have a girls night. She had never done this before, but she felt your impending marriage was a good excuse to have one. You didn’t have many female friends. Most were acquaintances, so none of them were as close as Maria and Wendy to you. They were there, but so were a handful of others you’ve only ever spoken to in passing.

Maria had a growing wine collection. She would trade for a bottle or two every so often. For your special occasion, she dusted off two bottles. Wendy made you a homemade pin that said “Bride to be” which she insisted you wear all night. Maria passed the magazines all around the circle you guys made on the floor.

“Maria, where did you get all of these.” You asked.

“I’ve had them all this time. While I was on a scavenging trip one day, and this was years and years ago, I saw them and grabbed them. It was impulsive. I don’t know. Me and Tommy had been together for a while and you know, naturally I started hearing wedding bells even though he never really proposed. I know it's silly to expect happiness in the middle of all this craziness, but it became normal for him and I and despite all this, he stuck by my side. I spent my whole life pre-outbreak wanting a wedding. I mean I wasn’t obsessed with it, but what girl doesn’t want a little fairytale wedding?”

“Tommy never proposed? I thought you guys were married?” Sheila spoke up in between sips.

“We’re basically married. Obviously not under law, but we committed ourselves to each other. I wanted to stop running and just build a future, even a tiny one, for us. He wanted the same. So we settled down and built this place. Well ‘settle down’ as much as we can in this type of world now. But, it was all casual. He brought it up one day while we were eating. He asked if I’d ever want a husband. He asked if it mattered to me.”

“What did you say?” Wendy asked.

“I told him, of course it mattered. At least to me. He gave me that famous Miller half smile,” Maria looked to you as to say ‘You know what I’m talking about’. “And asked if I thought he was husband material. I kinda strung him along for fun. I told him ‘As close to husband material as he can get’. He let out this little laugh and said ‘Well it’s settled then.’ and I thought to myself, I get to be someone’s wife! But not just anyone’s wife, his wife. At that point I couldn’t stop smiling. It wasn’t a proposal in the traditional sense. I guess it still counts, but we never did anything about it since. I guess we just assumed marriage from that point on. We expressed our love for each other, but never spoke the traditional vows. He never called me his fiance. As a matter of fact, the first time I heard him call me his wife to another person was when you and Joel showed up at our door.” She spoke in a roller coaster of tones, switching between enthusiastic and disappointed. “So I want you to have something special to commemorate this moment with. It’s not going to be a big, fancy wedding, but something nice nonetheless.” She said to you.

“Thank you.” You replied.

“Ohhh, look at this dress! I think this would go great with your figure, honey.” Darlene stated as she handed you the opened magazine. You admitted it was nice, but you couldn't see yourself in it. 

“That’s a bit plain, don’t you think? How about this one.” Maria handed you her magazine. The dress was exceptionally grand. It had a train and was adorned with crystals and lace.

“That’s quite the dress, Maria.” You commented, not wanting to hurt her feelings.

“But do you like it?” She asked.

“I do,” It wasn’t a whole lie. “But what’s the point in looking at dresses? I’m not gonna be wearing any of them from these magazines. I don’t own any white dresses at all. Just a white t shirt with sweat stains and holes in ‘em.”

“It doesn’t hurt to fantasize a little bit. Besides, maybe we’ll go out and find a store with something nice to wear inside.” She replied. 

“Drink up, honey, you're supposed to be happy.” Darlene said as she watched you nurse your glass.

“I am happy.” You replied with a straight face.

“Let’s play This or That and let’s pretend it was 13 years ago and the world was normal again. I’ll ask you to choose between two different things, wedding themed of course. I want you to give me an answer quickly to ensure it’s the truest answer.” Maria suggested.

“What were you doing 13 years ago?” Darlene asked you.

“Just graduated college. Didn’t even get a chance to apply my degree anywhere.”

“Oh, you were just a youngin’. Still had milk ‘hind your ears.” She playfully slapped your thigh. “And let’s see...Joel must have been how old…” She pondered seriously.

“Vanilla or chocolate?” Maria spoke up.

“What?” You asked.

“Cake. Vanilla or chocolate for your wedding cake?”

“Uh, chocolate.”

“Outdoor or indoor venue?”

“Indoor, I guess.”

“DJ or band?”

“DJ?”

“Lillies or Peonies for your bouquet?”

“I don’t think I know what peonies look like, to be honest.”

For the rest of the night, you and the other women played wedding themed games that you were sure Maria made up. They fiddled with your hair and dabbed beet juice on your lips and cheeks to appear as makeup. Despite Darlene rubbing you the wrong way, you took her advice and ‘drunk up’. Getting loose helped, but it still was all a bit overwhelming to you. Part of you wanted the fairytale like Maria said, but part of you didn’t even want it at all. While a fairytale would look nice, it would come with too many cons and then you would think ‘what was the point’. There would be too many people, and as an introvert, you weren’t prepared for that. Having to coordinate a large amount of food to feed the party, acquire a form of entertainment to keep everyone busy, ceremony rehearsals, picking loyalties when choosing between your sister in law and your good friend for made of honor and so on. Honestly none of your female friends were as close to you as Jesse, though, but you didn’t think he nor Joel would be cool with him being your main bridesmaid. 

Still buzzed, you walked into your empty house and beelined it to the bathroom. You sat at the edge of the tub, warm water running through your fingers as you watched it fill up. You grabbed your portable CD player and headphones out the drawer next to the toilet. You adjusted yourself into the inviting bath and immediately slipped your head under the surface. Being underwater was always a relaxing feeling for you so long as you knew you were in control. Your hands held onto the sides of the tub, keeping you under. You stayed there with your eyes closed until you couldn’t take it anymore. The curls of your hair laid flat against your head as you took in a large breath. As weird as it was, it helped the anxiety that you were currently harboring. The cherry on top was your music. You reached over the edge and felt for the play button before sliding the headphones over your ears. Again, you closed your eyes. You weren’t thinking about anything in particular: your patrol duty tomorrow morning, your promise to have lunch with Maria and Darlene, and sure as hell not your wedding. 

The buzz was wearing off, but the warm water took over the job and continued to relax your muscles. You were three songs into the album you were listening to when they abruptly tensed up. Your eyes popped open at the sudden splash of water that landed on your chest. It felt as though only a moment ago you were alone in the world and now sitting on the edge of the tub is Joel. He watched as you scooted up, sloshing the water around. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to splash you that hard.” He chuckled before pointing to your CD player. “You gotta be careful with this, (Y/N), you know. Gotta have your wits about you even in a place like Jackson---”

“I know, I just wanted to unwind for a moment---” You butted in.

“I don’t mean to chastise you like you’re a child, but I just want you to be safe. What if it wasn’t me here.”

“All the doors are locked.” You reasoned.

“Still.” He gave you his famous glare for a solid moment before his eyes drifted down to your body in the water. “Room for one more?” He lifted his eyebrow.

You frowned. “I was about to get out.”

“Didn’t look like that to me, darlin’. If I’d chosen to watch you for longer, you’d still be laying there with your eyes closed.”

“How long were you watching me for?” You asked, starting to feel a mix of self consciousness and arousal.

“Doesn’t matter.” Joel’s face was rid of emotion save from his eyes. His eyes were lit up with lust despite your rejection.

“The water was getting cold. I was just waiting for the song to end before getting out.”

He lifted the same eyebrow. “Is that so?” His eyes followed your body as you stood up in the tub. He unfolded his arms and grabbed the towel on the back of the door. Holding it out, you stepped out of the tub and into the soft fabric. He slid his hands up your arms before massaging your shoulders. His hands were rough and ungentle, but you still let him continue. “Baby, tell me what’s wrong. Who hurt you? I’ll go grab Tommy’s bat and smash their kneecaps in.”

You chuckled. “While I’m sure you would,” You turned around, releasing your shoulders from his grip. “No one hurt me. I’m just...I just got some stuff on my mind.”

“Care to share?” He asked. You shrugged. “Was it something that happened at Maria’s?”

“She threw me a bridal shower.”

He sat on the toilet and pulled you down onto his lap. “That was nice of her.”

“I mean yeah, it was nice. It just...It felt forced. Women were there that I hardly knew. We were planning the wedding, imagining details I knew would never work. I feel like Maria wants this to happen more than I do and I hate that. I should want this the most. I mean I do want this,” You point between you and him. “But I just don’t know how I want to go about it. I thought seeing her again would help me make up my mind about things, but I feel just as confused and flustered.”

He kissed your shoulder. “I don’t want you to stress out over this. It’ll all work out, because the most important thing in the end is that we have each other. I promise,” He kissed your shoulder again. “Ok?” He waited for you to say it back before tapping your thigh. “Now, just because you didn’t want me to get in with you doesn’t mean I don’t want a nice, relaxing bath too. Last chance before you put your clothes on.” He pointed between you, him and the tub as if asking for you to join him. 

You smile with a shake of your head. “No, my skin is all wrinkly but I promise to only keep the towel on if you promise not to make me wait long.” You winked at him.