#thank god it comes out in December lol
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mytdpblog · 3 months ago
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Just binged watched the first 3 seasons of The Dragon Prince this weekend and I feel ALIVE
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akechi-if-he-slayed · 6 months ago
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if u think ao3 author curse isn’t real rest assured it WILL get you eventually. i posted a fic last night and was already getting ready to start a new one today and yk what happened !!! i was doing a box jump at wrestling practice after school and SPLIT MY SHIN OPEN
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bettysupremacy · 1 year ago
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Omg imagine james doing something stupid (not much imagination needed there) and r is telling him of (lovingly) and he’s just like “yes ma’am🫡” and the others are like side eyeing him I just NEED james to call me ma’am in an argument
i hope you are having a great december so far my love
(not much imagination needed there) LOL
i could kiss you this idea is so cute thank you lovely
“Oh, my boy.” You croon to the mess tumbling into your lap. Softly, you brush some hair from his fluttering eyes. “What‘ve the evil twins done to you.”
“Evil twins!” Sirius gasps.
Remus laughs. “That’s a new one.”
You don’t look up from the sickly boy careening for your touch. “What did they feed you?”
He moans into you, muttering something you can’t pick up. He’s gone all right, ten shades of flushed and warm to the touch. It’s already a warm night, but this is no warmth that came naturally.
“We didn’t do anything.” Remus denies impishly.
“Puking pastilles again?” You eye them. “Do you know how long we sat by the toilet?”
“That was not our fault.”
“And neither were the nosebleed nougats?” You sigh. “Seriously thought his brain was coming out his nose.”
Sirius nods in agreement nose scrunching. “Not his finest moment.”
“Because of you.”
“Don’t start with me, woman.” His finger points between your eyes.
James is malleable under you, nose pressing into your thigh coyly. You see the corner of a smile as you fuss, guilty pleasure at your roaming touch. The room is hot, warm bodies passing and going as they please through the small flat. You fear he may run a fever, though that’s uncommon. James immune system is a rock, solid at anything thrown to it.
You press your hand to his forehead. “Has he had to much?”
The boys eye each other suspiciously. “Too much?”
You scoff. “To drink?”
“Depends.” Sirius shrugs
“On what!”
Their dubious behavior alarms you. These boys are up to something, or rather, were up to something, and now they’re avoiding dealing with the consequence of you.
“The substance.”
“Substance?” You sit up straight, shuffling the boy under you. He grumbles in protest.
“Potion.” Remus gives.
You frown apprehensively. “You didn’t.”
“We didn’t,” Sirius starts.
“he did.” Remus finishes.
Felix Felicis. They’d been talking about it a couple weeks ago, getting their hands on some. You protested, begged them, to forget it. It’s too dangerous, your voice of reason lowered their spirits, James you’ll be sleeping on the couch if you risk yourself like that.
“No,” You whine, fretting over the intoxicated fool. “how much?”
“Ask loverboy.”
“The whole,” James takes a deep breath mid sentence. “bottle.”
“Oh my god,” your eyes wide at the older boys standing. “he’ll be puking all night.”
“Maybe not..”
Your face drops into your hands exhausted. “Puking Pastilles all over again.”
“M’sorry.” James moans under you. “M’so sorry, lovely.”
“That was so stupid.” You scold lightly, hand coming down to flatten over his collar bones. “So, so, so, stupid!”
You're ruffled, shaken at the thought of him downing such an expensive, easily tainted, potion.
“Do you listen to everything they tell you to do?”
“No,” he starts slowly.
“Seems like it.” You bristle, pulling him up to sit. You look into his eyes seriously and he shuffles, nervous under your gaze. “Get a mind of your own.”
His fingers twitch at the hem of the dress you’d picked out tonight, squeezing it in his grip, grounding himself in reality. “Yes ma’am.”
Sirius scoffs behind you, shaking his head at Remus who looks equally perturbed at James’ extra affection. Under them, you wrap your arms around his neck surely. Besides the soft sent of sickly sweet potion, he smells of pine and cologne. You let yourself recognize his body is continuing to function as it should. Untouched, mostly, by the yellow inebriant.
“I can’t stand you, do you feel well?”
“I’m feeling better.”
You stick your face in his shoulder. “Be serious.”
“No, I don’t feel well.”
You sigh into him, pressing a kiss into his freckled skin. He won’t sleep on the couch tonight, though you aught to teach him a lesson.
“We’re going home.”
“What?” James frowns. “We only just got here.”
“D’you have another pool to jump in?”
He cringes at the memory of his fireball spree. “Kay, coming.”
You collect your coat and purse as you stand, leaving James to fend for himself behind you. “Felix Felicis isn’t a joke, one wrong tincture of thyme and you’re in St Mungo’s- James, were are your shoes?”
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mickyschumacher · 11 months ago
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[GORGEOUS!]
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𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: you were in love with f1's beloved honey badger and you had been for almost year. but why in the world had you instead fallen for his teammate? or in which infidelity has laid it's sticky little hands on you.
𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: slight angst, infidelity naturally, falling out of love, steamy makeout sesh, suggestive content, pining, sad boy hours for daniel, lando being kind of a sneaky bastard, age-gap between reader and boys (8 years for dan and 2 years for lan), reader born in australia, set in 2020/2021, false or incorrect marine biology lingo and protocols lol, mention of crossiant horner, poor explanation of f1, mentions of insecurity, proof-read...ish
𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: daniel ricciardo x marine biologist!female reader, lando norris x marine biologist!female reader
𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 4k+
𝐀/𝐍: i felt bad for not posting so here's me digging into my reserves! written when i did more song-based fics!! i wish life wasn't so busy 🤧 i have started a few thingsssssss but it's definitely going to be a while before i post them sorry 😣
𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓
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You, honestly, were a normal girl. Mundane as mundane gets. Never once had you imagined of cameras, headlines and the need for a PR specialist in your life.
But it's what you had gotten. That's what Daniel Ricciardo came with.
You had met the Australian on pure accident. It was late 2020 and the season had just come an end. Hamilton was a six-times World Champion and Daniel had his last season with Renault. He hadn't got the result he wanted but he was optimistic about his future with McLaren. So eventually, he headed home to Australia for the Christmas holidays.
Now you would like to consider yourself a well-versed Australian. Especially considering you were born there. Robert Irwin was the most beloved Australian for years to come and Margot Robbie and Chris Hemsworth were your Aussie reps in America.
Somehow, however, you had never really got F1 or Formula One. That's not to say you hadn't heard of it. Honestly, for the past few years it was difficult to pass Albert Park in the summer of March without it flashing in front of your eyes. But if someone were to ask you anything about it, you would blink blankly and apologise.
Which is exactly what you did in early December. You were out having lunch with your closest friends at a local cafe, catching up on the year in the fresh yet skin-damaging Aussie sun.
You were in midst conversation when a brunette girl politely interrupted you. "Hi, sorry. This is going to sound really weird. I'm doing this on a bet. But do all three of you know that man over there? In the hat?”
You looked over to her table full of people. It seemed like she was with her family and friends. You and your friends zoned on the man in the hat, a guy who was trying to not make it obvious that he was aware of what was going on.
You scrutinised him carefully and unsurprisingly, you didn’t know him. Surprisingly, you did find that he was attractive. The curly hair, the scruff… you wondered whether he was actually Australian because no men in Australia looked like that.
Your two friends nodded while confirming with one another. “It’s Daniel, right? The driver?” One of them asked.
Your other friend hummed in agreement.
The brunette looked over at you. You blinked at her as your face slowly morphed into an apologetic expression. “I’m sorry. I don’t know.”
The brunette, which you expected to be somewhat sad about it, ended up smiling while your friends’ faces dropped.
“Thank you! Oh my god. You have no idea what you’ve just done!” The brunette laughed loudly, capturing the attention of her table. She pointed at the man in the hat, clutching her stomach. “She doesn’t know who you are, Danny. Take that!”
Similarly to your friends, the male’s face dropped. He looked at you and tilted his head.
When Daniel actually saw you for the first time, he was in shock. Not the type of shock of an Aussie not knowing who he was. But rather the shock of being in the presence as someone as beautiful as you.
Your eyes were tantalising and your apologetic expression was cute.
He waved a hand in dismissal. “It’s okay. I’m just an F1 driver.”
You nodded in slow understanding. Maybe you had in fact seen his posters in Albert Park. Honestly, you couldn’t be sure. Life as a marine biologist was busy and all over the place. Recognising celebrities or athletes was kind of the last thing on your mind.
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That day you went home with the expectation of a normal tomorrow. One where you were out at the ocean and exploring the waters you had loved so much.
You wish you could say it came as a shock to see that same curly haired man on the wharf, but given the current temperatures that heavily contrasted your winter, it was reasonable as any other Aussie here.
What you didn’t expect was you passing him to get to your boat and then hearing a voice enter the air. “Hey! Excuse me. Sorry. You’re the girl from yesterday, right?”
You turned to the man, hand over your eyes to protect yourself from the harsh rays and take a closer look at him. Just in case it wasn’t him.
“Uh, yeah? You’re the driver, right?”
Daniel gave a wide smile, extending out his hand. “I’m Daniel. Daniel Ricciardo.”
Oh my. What a smile he had. The type to make you feel happy just by looking at it. You couldn’t even help but smile in response. You reached out to shake his hand, not ready to feel a weird sort of spark between the two of you.
“I... I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you.”
Daniel slowly removed his hand from yours, grabbing any last second he could. He eyed the briefcase and scuba gear in your hands. “You diving?”
You looked at your equipment. “Well, testing. I’m a marine biologist. Although, I guess I’m still diving.”
Daniel pursed his lips. Now he had to get to know you. You were beautiful and a marine biologist. An Aussie dream.
“Oh yeah? What are you testing?” He queried with a raised brow,
“Oh! Uh, currently things like the local fish populations in decline. Their habitat. Whether they’re safe or not. Algae growth. Predators. pH levels. All the fun stuff...” You sheepishly trailed off once you realised you began rambling.
You didn’t know but in that moment Daniel was in awe of you. The twinkle in your eyes that rose once you talked about your work. Like your work was your passion. That’s how he felt about F1.
You watched Daniel nod as if he were actually interested. “Do you mind if I come with? I won’t contaminate anything. Promise.”
You mended your brows together. It wasn’t uncommon for people to ask to join. But the way Daniel said it… like it was something he had to do or he would regret it for the rest of his life, you couldn’t help feel compelled. “Um, yeah. Do you not have to be on the road or something though? ‘Cause your a driver?”
“Oh F1 only goes between March and November. We’re on holiday at the moment. Well sort of.”
“Oh,” you mumbled out cluelessly. Your cheeks burned with a tinge of embarrassment. How had you managed to get through all these years of living and not known about this?
Daniel laughed lightly at the reddening of your cheeks. Just when he though he could find you any cuter. “Don’t worry. I’ll teach you F1. And you can teach me the ocean.”
So the two of you went into your boat. The sun beat down onto you so harshly that for most of it, you had retreated to driving the vessel in the shade as Daniel sat next to you.
It had gone so well that this, whatever it was, became a regular occurrence after you exchanged numbers that day.
You were learning a lot about him and his job. He was actually Italian-Australian. He started this passion with go-karting. You found out F1 wasn’t just racing but it was racing to another extreme. 300 kph. God, getting your car to 100 kph for the open road was thrill enough for you.
That made Daniel wheeze with laughter and promise he would take you for a drive in a sports car to get a taste of the speed he craved for.
Apparently F1 had 10 teams, each with 2 drivers. In each of the teams, the drivers had the same car to drive, cars that were constructed originally by each team. The point of the races were for two championships. The Driver’s World Championship, the title the driver wanted to win, and the Constructors’ Championship, the title everyone from the driver to the team strategist wanted to win. They were calculated by the amount of points received by the drivers in the races.
All the races were settled through a long weekend of sorts. Fridays were for practices to see how the car was on the track as they had different conditions per track. Saturdays were for qualifying. Here, Daniel would push the car to its limits to get the fastest lap time as the drivers were ranked to then get a position for the actual race tomorrow. Sundays were where they raced for points.
All of it was slightly complex, especially with the penalties and rules that they followed. Buy you seemed to get the gist of it.
Daniel had learnt that you had grown up in Australia and like him had to travel a lot for your work. Weirdly, some times his race dates would match up with your travelling. Daniel chose to take that as a sign. You were 8 years younger than him, taking him by a slight surprise. You were 23 and he was 31. But it didn’t seem like it mattered to you. Communication between the two of you was a smooth sail.
Daniel even opened up about his time with Red Bull. A whirl of bad and annoying memories. But when you had said that you would like to see Christian Horner step on to your boat and throw him overboard into a tank of piranhas, only for thirty seconds of course, Daniel had never laughed harder.
━━━━━━━━━━━
By the billionth time you had hung out, the sun was setting in the evening, providing a refreshing cold breeze to match the heat. Christmas was close soon. And Daniel was aching to ask you out.
He had to go into this next season of driving knowing he had you by his side. Even his own family was pushing him to ask. Especially his sister, Michelle, who had dubbed herself the cupid as she was the very brunette who had technically introduced you two, or so she claimed.
The both of you had finished a dive and were heading to Daniel's car. You were supposed to have dinner with his family on this fine evening.
"You good, Danny?" You looked over to the man. Daniel, for the loud and outgoing person he was, was being rather quiet today. You couldn't really put your finger on why either. You took pride in being able to read people. But it looked like his mind was at some sort of battle.
He gave an idle hum, getting into the driver's seat.
You raised a brow, closing the door on the passenger side shut. Your hand reached out to his thigh, making him break his trance and flicker his eyes towards you.
"Listen, I don't know what it is or what's going on. But I'm all ears if you want," You smiled, patting his thigh. You went to remove your hand but Daniel placed his hand over yours, keeping you there.
Daniel's heart was in his throat. He was not normally a nervous man. He was the epitome of confidence. But you seemed to tear that down, in the nicest way, quite easily.
Daniel absorbed your curious eyes before releasing a shaky breath. "Uh," he awkwardly chuckled, scratching the back of his head. "I'm not normally like this. I can't really explain it... but these past few weeks, I... I haven't felt like this in a really long time. With you I feel free... happy... I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really like you. And even if I'm ancient, I would really like to be with you. You know. Together. If that wasn't clear."
The smile on your face the moment you realised what was going on hadn't stopped growing. You watches his eyes dart around, looking for a signal of anything. A yes. A no.
You looked down at your hands. The warmth of his spread among your one. You turned your hand to intertwine them with his and squeezed his hand, looking back up at him. "I think you took the words right out my mouth. I like you too, Danny. A lot. Even as an 'old ass man.'"
An odd silence settled within the car as Daniel simply stared at you, honey brown eyes hold your own.
"Danny? Are you okay?"
Daniel's eyes turned into crescents while his infamous wide smile sprawled onto your face. "Can I kiss you?"
You stilled in the passenger seat. Your eyes flickered to his lips before meeting his eyes once again. You weren't sure if you could trust your voice at the moment so you gave a curt nod.
Daniel smiled softly at the flustered expression you sported. Instead of leaning his head in like you expected to, he reached over to your seat and lifted you out of it. You released a small yelp before landing onto his lap, straddling his crotch as you faced towards him.
Daniel's fingers played with the slightly dampened tresses that had fallen around your face and pushed them behind your ears. His fingers trailed down to your heated cheeks and to your jaw. Bringing you closer to him, he leaned his head towards you.
Daniel's lips fell into yours. His hands soon fell to your back as your arms snaked his neck. The world... your surroundings were all gone. All you could feel was each other. His fingers sneaking past the hem of your shirt and grazing your bare skin. The action sent a wave of heat within you.
You let out a small muffled moan causing Daniel to adjust himself in his seat. A bulge had formed in his pants, aching at your touch. You released yourself from him for a gasp of air, which fell into further pleasurable gasps as Daniel's swollen lips had found your neck, leaving a trail of small sloppy kisses.
Daniel rested his chin onto your shoulder before pulling back to look at you. He grinned at your dazed expression. "As much as I would like to continue this in such a fitting setting like a car, I would rather our first time in an actual bed."
You let out a small laugh, feeling yourself fluster even further while you gave him a tight hug.
And that's how your relationship had started. Since then, it had been almost a year. In that year, you had gotten impossibly closer. You had visited his races without telling him because you were scared. You were scared of distracting him and scared for him. The first F1 race you went to matched up to your meetings with other marine biologists and techs in Spain. God, you didn't know cars could even go that fast. The occasional toss of a car to the side sent fear coursing through you.
Eventually, Daniel had found out and reassured you that you being there wouldn't harm anything. In fact, the thought of it calmed him down and encouraged him. He had even introduced you to some of the team and whispered in your ear when he pointed to Red Bull's team principal.
"Oh... so that's the man going overboard. That's a shame. You didn't tell me he look like a sea otter. Sea otters are supposed look cute. I'll just pretend he's plant plankton."
Daniel had never laughed harder at something. Just when he thought he couldn't love you more. God, you were a sight to behold. He would never understand how you managed to be who you were.
You had felt the same.
Well, at least that was until when you met his new teammate in McLaren, Lando Norris.
Lando was two years younger than you and what some people called the British Ricciardo. He was constantly smiling and cracking jokes. He was the moodmaker.
The vibe he had was like an annoying little brother of a sort.
But people obviously didn't feel attracted to someone if they truly thought of them like that.
You shouldn't feel this way. It was wrong. You had a boyfriend. A boyfriend who adored you. You had tried to keep yourself occupied with your job to avoid having to attend too many races and meet the McLaren team, in fear of meeting Lando.
But of course, how were you going to refuse to celebrate Lando's 2nd podium of the year in Monaco when Daniel asked?
So here you were. In a club dressed in a cream coloured set: a long sleeved bralette and a long skirt starting from your waist, ending just before your heels with a slit in the middle.
The compliment you had received in your ear from Daniel made you wish you could say you were dressed for him in the first place. But it would be a lie to say that.
You had navigated yourself around the club to drown yourself in some alcohol. You needed a distraction and you felt that being some what drunk and out of it would've helped.
you should take it as a compliment that i got drunk and made fun of the way you talk. you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field being a little too strong. and i got a boyfriend, he's older than us he's in the club doing, i don't know what you're so cool, it makes me hate you so much.
You were out of it for sure. Because sober you did not have the guts you had right now. The guts to not only sit at the same table as Lando but next to him and make fun of his British accent with Carlos.
"No, Carlos. I'm pretty sure he sounded like 'No no no... you ruined my ice cream,'" You laughed lightly as the Spaniard refused to agree with you.
"No he has bit of a weird sound at the 'ruined' part. He sound like those kids in the UK... on the road? What are they again..."
Lando's face burst with amusement. He laughed so hard, he had to prevent his cup from falling out of his hand. "Do you mean..." He gasped for air, "Roadmen?"
Jesus. Carlos Sainz discussing roadmen was the funniest thing that had happened so far.
You weren't sure where Daniel was even. All you knew he was probably talking to some other team member of McLaren. You were rather preoccupied and entranced by the British male next to you.
You couldn't explain it but it was as if there was a magnetic field around him and you, like an element, were simply attracted to him. As if there was no other path to go. He made you laugh differently. Feel differently. He was also a looker. That boyish charm that simply pulled you in. It made you wonder how strong his magnetic field was.
The science of it was simple. You may be a marine biologist but you hadn't flunked physics. The stronger the intensity of a field, the further the magnet, Lando, will be able to attract elements, like you. All you knew was that he was strong enough to inexplicably take you attention away from your own boyfriend.
you're so gorgeous i can't say anything to your face 'cause look at your face. and i'm so furious at you for making me feel this way but what can i say? you're gorgeous.
This attraction you felt to Lando what ridiculous in itself. But you had felt it from when you first met him and you felt it now. Lando was simply gorgeous. His smile was breathtaking. His laugh felt pretty.
And it infuriated you. You wanted to yell at him, tell him to stop. These feelings, this flutter, this tingle... make it all stop, you wanted to say.
But you could never say that to his face. How could you? Those same things came back every time you looked at him.
The smile. The flutter. The tingle.
You wondered whether he had even looked at himself in the mirror. You wondered whether ever had felt insecure about the way he looked and that if he did, you wished he hadn't.
Everything thing about him was simply enticing. A delightful view... from the arms of Daniel.
you should take it as a compliment that i'm talking to everyone here but you. and you should think about the consequence of you touching my hand in a darkened room. if you've got a girlfriend, i'm jealous of her. but if you're single that's honestly worse. 'cause you're so gorgeous it actually hurts.
This feeling... this infatuation was overwhelming for you. You were a taken girl. You had even made it was to the multiple Instagram F1 'WAGs' accounts and were met with the most glorious welcomes by fans.
You needed to get a grip on yourself for Christ's sake. Lando was also taken. Even if he was single, which if you were being honest was an insult to romance itself, you didn't have a chance let alone now. No matter how jealous you were, you had to be realistic. You paled in comparison to the fame Portuguese models that F1 drivers often found themselves with.
Of course, you had to admit they were beautiful. You had no conflict with them. They weren't your classic mean girls. They were impossibly nice and you even found yourself in some interesting conversations. But at the end of the day, you were simply a marine biologist.
So in the darkness of the club, you had managed to isolate yourself from Lando, who had gone with Pierre somewhere, and made the struggling and gruelling effort to talk to anyone else but him. You had conversed with Carlos before he had gone somewhere with his girlfriend. You had settle for Charles as a distraction.
Charles was a pleasure to talk to. As always, he was also so kind and sweet with his words. The type you were sure that when you looked at the, you knew that their mother raised them right.
Daniel had finally found his way to you, mentioning that Zak Brown had just pulled him aside for a talking to. You asked if he was okay, in which he responded with a smile and said: "Now that I'm with you, yes."
You managed to give him a soft and believable smile. Daniel was standing behind you, joining in your conversation with Charles. It wasn't until you were in the midst of a conversation about life in Monaco that you felt a hand on yours.
You smiled gently, expecting it to be Daniel's but instead it was Lando's.
ocean blue eyes looking in mine. i feel like i might sink and drown and die.
Your eyes snapped up to meet Lando's face. His blue eyes bore into yours.
Those goddamn eyes of his would be the end of you. The similarity of them to the oceans you had travelled and the beautiful creatures you had seen was uncanny.
Your heart paced furiously against your chest. He must've been drunk or tipsy to the very least to stumble onto you. There was no way he had purposely wanted you to drown in his eyes.
You sucked in a quiet sharp breath and edged to removed your hand. But as quickly as you had made that decision, the gnawing feeling at your heart had grown more intense and taunted you. Lando's hand hurried to grab yours and place it back where it was.
Your eyes shook with awe and lingered with a dangerous thrill. You could feel his fingers rub the back of your hand gently before intertwining them.
You looked blankly at the table in front of you while Lando had joined in the conversation so casually, like nothing was even going on. You had to thank your stars that the club was able to be as dark as it was.
A lot of the noise around you had turned into white noise and blurs of sound. Charles must've complimented you as you had managed to capture some mention of fish and coral reefs from your boyfriend.
you make me so happy it turns back to sad. there's nothing i hate more than what i can't have and you are so gorgeous, it makes me so mad. you make me so happy it turns back to sad. there's nothing i hate more than what i can't have and guess i'll just stumble on home to my cats alone unless, you wanna come along?
It was Daniel kissing your cheek fondly and Lando's hand grazing your knee under the table that had brought you back to reality.
The happiness and adrenaline you felt was wrong. You knew with every crevice and fibre of your body that this had to stop. This attraction and sickly sweet infatuation with Lando. God, he just made you so fuzzy. You could barely think straight.
You were stuck in between two men who had their touch on you. It wasn't right. As much as you liked Lando, he angered your entire being. He had simply waltzed into your life. He was playing along with your feelings.
Lando's damning eyes averted to you when he felt your hand slip away from him forcefully.
You hoped the guilt in your eyes shone as much as they could in this darkness.
You were going to have to break up with a man who would give you everything. You would have to leave all of... this... and get away from here.
You needed everything to return to normal. You had no idea how exactly you were going to explain a sudden return home without inflicting any suspicion.
All you knew now was that you had to make a lengthy apology to a man you had not realised you had fallen out of love with.
You supposed that was love.
Love was a bittersweet feeling. It was beautiful and fluttering but brought a lot of tragedy and strife along with it.
That was love: simply gorgeous.
© 𝐌𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘𝐒𝐂𝐇𝐔𝐌𝐀𝐂𝐇𝐄𝐑
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dixonsdarkelf · 1 month ago
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She’s Got Your Eyes: Murphy MacManus & Fem!Reader
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I thought Tumblr needed some Dad!Murphy, so for my first Murphy fic, I took it upon myself to make it happen! Constructive criticism is appreciate and okay, but please be gentle or I’ll cry. I hope y’all love my take on brand-new dad!Murphy 🖤
Genre: Fluff
Word count: 629
Warnings: Pregnancy stuff, mentions of breastfeeding, reader has a uterus and just gave birth, barely proofread (not the norm for me lol)
GIF by me, dividers by @anitalenia
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The moment you and Murphy first laid eyes on each other on that faithful December eve at McGinty’s, it was love at first sight. There was an unspoken connection between you two, and that one encounter morphed from texting to phone calls to dates and more.
That night felt like a lifetime ago. Now, hundreds of kisses, many late nights, and one wedding-of-the-century later, you were in the delivery room, having just welcomed your first child—a beautiful, healthy baby girl—into the world. Together, you chose the name Myrna Isabella Murphy, Myrna meaning “affection or endearment” and Isabella meaning “pledged to God.”
Both of your families had already come by to say hi, each one seemingly more excited than the last. Conner was a mess, doing his best to keep it together for the sake of you two. However, he was so enamored by his new niece, with her big eyes staring up at him, he nearly broke down while holding her. But no one could compete with the amount of tears shed by you & your husband.
Now, it was just the three of you, basking in the afterglow of a long and intense labor. Murphy was in the arm chair, cradling your daughter to give you some space after feeding.
“Hi sweetheart,” he cooed as he adjusted the blanket around her. The words sounded even sweeter with that accent dripping off of them.
You couldn’t help but smile at him, the man you’d fallen in love with all those years ago, and the soft noises emanating from the little baby in his arms. Despite all the pain you’d just gone through, everything about this moment was perfect, and it was like you were falling in love all over again.
“She’s got your eyes,” he commented, breaking his gaze from Myrna for just a moment to meet yours, “got that same sparkle yours has.”
“She’s got your nose,” you mused, your infectious giggle lacing every word. The warmth spreading through your chest as you watched him with your daughter was unlike anything you’d felt before. “We did good.”
He cocked an eyebrow as he stood, rocking Myrna in his arms as he held her to his chest. “We? You did all the work, lass.”
“I couldn’t have done it without you.” Your voice was soft, silky, a ‘thank you’ all on its own without even having to utter the words.
“Quite literally,” he chuckled, a playful smirk appearing on his face.
“You’re funny,” you remarked as he gently said on the edge of the bed by you, “I meant the day-to-day stuff, doting on me for the last nine months. Not to mention all the doctor’s appointments.”
“It’s nothin’, you know that.” He propped Myrna up with his hand, taking one of yours in the other. “Would’ve done anythin’ you asked.”
“I know.” You gave him hand a gentle squeeze, which he returned. The smiles on your faces was enough to light the entire city of Boston. “Thank you, baby. For everything.”
“Thank you, Y/N,” he replied, nodding toward the little one, “for her.”
You were sure you’d run out of tears before that, but your body and mind had other plans. They began streaming down your face again, catching in your hair, your mouth, your gown. But you didn’t mind one bit. “I love you, Murph.”
He wiped a stream of tears from your cheek, cradling Myrna tight against him before leaning over to kiss your forehead. It was tender, sweet, and full of adoration, just like it always was. But there was more this time. There was all of those feelings for you, but also for his daughter. And a gratitude to you for giving him the best gift he could ever receive. “Love you more, lass.”
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General taglist: @raddydaddydude @lovenormandixon @angeldemoncrowley @negansbestie @holdmytesseract @dixons-sunshine
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caratheewriter · 5 months ago
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Controversially Young ~ Matt Smith x fem! actress smau
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Synopsis: You were recently cast as Bruce Wayne's love interest, which everyone adores, Selina Kyle. The age gap though, has some in a tizzy.
Warning(s): sexist comments, big age gap
Rating(s): NC-17
Word Count: 694
Actress Y/n L/n Cast alongside Matt Smith in upcoming Batman Movie
Here's what you need to know about Zack Snyder’s new project...
~~~
y/nl/n
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now wait just a meowment...
are you going to see Batman (2024)?
see comments
charliebushnell y/n we've talked abt this
↪️ y/nl/n I couldn't help ittttt
user420 still have no idea how they could subject you to this
↪️ user2 subject her to what
↪️ user420 working with someone twice her age
hater2 be honest... whose d*ck did you suck to get this role?
↪️ hater34 probably Matt's
~~~
y/nl/n
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Press paws and live in the meow!
trash007 if I were Matt, I'd hit
↪️ trash006 same
user360 y'all are gross up in these comments
↪️ trash56 if she didn't want these comments, she wouldn’t have auditioned for CATWOMAN
↪️ trash001 the sexist dc character to exist
user49 I could never work with someone twice my age, I'd be scared
↪️ user86 y/n's worked with Matt before I think she knows how he is
batman2024 we love our bat and cat
leahsavajefferies as purr-ty as a picture
↪️ charliebushnell no! no puns
↪️ diorgoodjohn these puns are hissterical
↪️ y/nl/n lol
~~~
Y/n L/n talks Catwoman, DC, and new interests
by Young Hollywood
Interviewer: Hello Readers! Today I am joined by one of these most known young actresses of our generation, Y/n L/n! Thank you for being here.
Y/n: Thank you for inviting me. I love doing interviews.
Interviewer: So, how have you been?
Y/n: I've been good. Doing a lot of filming for Batman, catching up with old friends, trying to up my instagram game. I've gotten into videography, shooting mini vlogs and cooking videos.
Interviewer: Sounds fun! I love that! Is there any insight into the movie that you can give us?
Y/n: Sure! If any of you were wondering, this is going to be very different from any portrayal of Batman and Catwoman that you've seen or read. Obviously because Selina Kyle is a lot younger than Bruce in this adaptation which is a plot within itself. This Selina, and because she is younger, her story has changed, is a street rat or stray cat. She lives on the streets, and her story in this, is similar to that of her portrayal in the show, Gotham. She meets Bruce as she is trying pickpocket off him out in the open. Then, it goes from there.
Interviewer: Wow! That certainly is a must-watch. Now, I hate to get deep all of a sudden, but have you seen the comments regarding your casting?
Y/n: Yes, I have actually. A lot of them are for disgusting middle-aged men, so I don't really bother with them. I knew what I was getting into when I auditioned.
Interviews: You also get to work with Matt Smith again. Did you know that he was casted as Bruce or did you find out after you got the call?
Y/n: You know what's funny? Zack told me that Matt told him not to tell me. So, I didn't know until our table read!
Interviewer: Oh my god! What?!
Y/n: Yeah! And I hadn't seen him in so long that I almost jumped across the table to hug him.
Interviews: Aw!
Y/n: A lot of people also would say that they felt bad for me because I'm the love interest to someone twice my age, but I've known Matt for a long time. He worked with my father in Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. I played young Rhaena in House of the Dragon. He's a family friend, a beloved friend. I trust him.
Y/n: I understand the public's concerns though. I did just turn 24 earlier this year. The age gap is big, but it is strictly for storytelling purposes.
Interviews: There you have it. I loved talking with you today.
Y/n: I always look forward to interviews with you. Big fan.
Interviewer: Big fan of you too! Any last words?
Y/n: Go see Batman in theaters near you coming this December!
fin.
I tried my best.
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dorotheataylor · 1 year ago
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Back to December
Pairing- Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader
Summary- You broke up with him because you thought he deserved someone better than you. But here you stand, outside his door, apologising for that night, after realising you loved him too much to let him go. Based on Back to December (Taylor’s Version) by Taylor Swift.
Warnings- angstttt but fluff at the end, hurt/comfort, no curses!au, swearing (maybe), slight ooc suguru (hes called clumsy hehe), probably my english lol.
Word count- 2.3k (excluding lyrics)
A/N- atp yall just know how much big of a swiftie I am lol. So here’s a new fic based on another taylor song haha. And from now on I will write for JJK fandom too coz i’m obsessed lmao. Let me know if you find any mistakes coz this isn’t proofread and hope y’all enjoy.
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Knock. Knock. Knock.
You knocked three times on the door of the house you knew all too well as you picked your nails.
Will he want to see you? Will he shout at you? Will he tell you to get lost? Whatever he does, you knew you deserved it.
You stood outside his door impatiently, nerves getting the best of you while you waited for him to open the door. You could hear things falling down from behind it.
You couldn’t help but chuckle. He was always the clumsy one. One of his things which you missed too much. Your eyes fell on thought of this. Oh how much you wished for a change in your mind back then.
You heard the lock of the door being undone and you started to freak out from inside. Was it a good idea to come here? Maybe. You were about to find out.
“Sorry for the delay. I was caught up-” You heard his voice quiet down when he saw you. God how much you missed his voice. You could listen to his voice every second of the day if possible.
You’ve been good, busier than ever
"Y/N," he breathed, his voice barely above a whisper as he took in your presence on his doorstep, as if he was making sure he wasn’t hallucinating.
The way he said your name, ached your heart. Because it wasn’t filled with love or warmth as before, instead it was more like recognising a stranger.
You took a deep breath before speaking, “long time no see, Suguru.” You smiled slightly.
He couldn’t believe it. He never thought he’d ever see you again after that unfaithful night. The wishes he made to see you every night before he went to bed actually came true. He could actually hear your voice after whole six months. He felt like he was about to cry.
Your guard is up and I know why
All he wanted to do at this moment was to take you in his arms and never let you go again. But he knew he couldn’t. What if you were here to make things even more awful than they already were? He couldn’t handle another heartbreak. So he stood his ground and decided to talk to you in a civil way.
“Come inside. It’ll start s-snowing soon.” He said, mentally cursing himself for stammering as he stepped aside to let you in.
“Thank you.” You muttered before entering his house. The familiar feeling came back to you. The aura and memories of his house, where you had spent countless nights together crashed into your mind like ocean waves. It was overwhelming and you did your best not to burst into tears.
“I’ll bring you something to drink. You can make yourself comfortable till then.” You heard him speak as he quickly walked into the kitchen.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind
You knew he was doing his best to avoid a more than casual conversation with you. Because the last time you had talked, things turned bitter.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die
You still remembered that day like the back of your hand. He had showed up at your house with roses to surprise you and take you out on a surprise date. And you, being a stupid person, ruined it all.
“Here. I didn’t have anything else except for hot chocolate plus I know how much you love it.” He said handing you the cup filled with hot chocolate, his voice becoming a soft mutter at the last part.
‘He still remembers my likes and dislikes.’ You thought as you smiled softly at him and took the cup, your hands brushing a little. Your cheeks immediately turn red as you tried to hide them, while Suguru thanked the gods that his red cheeks won’t be obvious because it’s winter.
I’d go back to December, turn around and make it all right
But you knew him. You were slightly relieved you still had some effects on him like before. How much you regretted leaving him like that. If only you could go back time and make things right.
You took a sip of your hot chocolate before speaking, “thanks for the hot chocolate, Suguru.”
Geto thought he’d just die right now. The way you said his name, it made him want to forget everything that happened and just hold you into his arms, never letting you go again. But he knew he couldn’t do that.
After some long moments of silence, you decided to break it and said, “how have you been, Suguru?”
“I’ve been- good.” He said with a pause in between. He was lying, but he didn’t want you to know his mental state ever since you had left. “What about you?”
You couldn’t repeat his answer for this question, because you knew it was far from the truth. You couldn’t quite recall the last time you slept peacefully. Maybe it was when you were in Suguru’s arms, safe and loved.
Staying up playing back myself leaving
Your mind replayed memories of that unfaithful night, as if trying to torture you for what you had done. It had started to hurt physically. How much you just wanted apologise and hold him into your arms. But you knew you had lost that right. Why? Because of your stupid insecurities.
You had been in a few relationships in the past apart from Geto. And you were always called out for every little thing you did. Whether it was from the way you ate, or the way you talked, they’d make sure to remind you that you weren’t enough and weird, until they all left you alone. This lead you to believe the same, that you were the problem.
That was until you met Suguru. He was everything you could ask in a man. He was charming, a true gentleman, kind and caring boyfriend who never failed to remind you how much you mean to him.
And I think about Summer, all the beautiful times
You often daydreamed about all your memories from your relationship, from sneaking out at night to late night car drives, from celebrating each other’s birthdays to forgetting plans you’d made with your other friends. Your relationship with him was something you read in books about.
You still remembered the day when you realised that he was the guy you were going to marry someday. You had overheard him talking to Gojo about you. You hadn’t meant to eavesdrop but when he mentioned your name, your ears had perked up. And the way be kept on talking about how amazing you were and how much he loved you, you knew he was the one for you.
Then the cold came, the dark days when fear crept right into my mind
But of course you had to ruin it all. The ‘what if’ thoughts came back to you. The thought of losing him because you weren’t good enough for him, scared you. You had told him about your past relationships, and he always reminded you that you are more than enough for him and he loves you with all of his heart.
Fuck your stupid negativity. You tried to believe him, you really did. But your mind wouldn’t let you. So it lead you to the one thing which you knew you were going to regret for the rest of your life. You let him go. And you hated yourself for it.
You gave me all your love and all I gave you was goodbye
You still remembered the way his face had immediately fallen the moment you spoke those words. He had tried to reason with you, but you wouldn’t listen. And you had slammed the door shut on his face.
Geto didn’t stop bombarding your phone with countless texts and missed calls for days. But you didn’t reply to any of them. Until one day he stopped. Maybe he realised that he was just wasting time being after you. Maybe he realised that you were the problem after all.
It turns out freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
Wishing I’d realised what I had when you were mine
You thought you had did the right thing but turns out, you didn’t. You had only made things worse for both of you. Because you know what they say, you only realise the value of something when its gone. And it turns out that you had loved him too much. You couldn’t let him go. Because you had realised that he was too precious for you to let go and you couldn’t survive without him.
So here you were, six months later, on his couch, drinking hot chocolate. You slowly came out of your thoughts and said the only thing which came into your mind, “I’m sorry.”
To say Geto was surprised was an understanding. He expected anything but an apology from you tonight. Blame him for being conscious and hurt. He didn’t say anything, giving the cue to continue.
“I’m so sorry, Suguru.” You started, trying your best not to sob, “I know this is probably the last thing you expect from me and won’t believe me but I mean it. I’m really sorry. I’m such a fucked up person, who always makes things worse, ruins perfectly going on lives of people, who always lives in self-doubts.”
“Y/N, I-”, Geto started to say something but you cut him off before he could say it.
“Please let me finish.” Geto nodded in response.
I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile, so good to me so right
And how you held me in your arms that September night, the first time you ever saw me cry
“I miss everything about you, about us. I miss how every morning you didn’t fail to wish me ‘good morning’, I miss how you never forgot to check up on me, I miss how you always found a way to make me feel special. I miss how you always held me close to you whenever I didn’t feel like myself. And most of all, I miss the way you used to love me.” You said, tears now falling uncontrollably from your eyes but you don’t care, determined to make things right.
I’d go back in time and change it but I can’t
So you continued, “thing is that I love you, Suguru Geto. And I love you too much to let you go. I made a stupid move by letting you go when all I wanted to do was hold you into my arms. And I hate myself for it. These past six months, I’ve been terrible. There’s not been a single day where I have not wished for myself to be somehow able to go back in time and make things right, stop myself from leaving. But I know I can’t.” You took a deep breath.
So if the chain is on your door I understand
“I know my actions are not something to be easily forgiven, but I promise to do anything to win your trust and love back. I’m willing to change. I’m willing to make things up with you. I swear that if you take me back again, I will love you right and never let you go. Because I have realised my life is nothing if you’re not in it. Please take me back, Suguru. I promise to prove myself worthy of your love.” You couldn’t speak anything after this, sobs continuously escaping your mouth.
Geto stood there, tears in his eyes as well, contemplating what to say. Your apology had caught him off guard, but he knew you had meant every word. He knew that his life was incomplete without you too.
But this is me swallowing my pride
You didn’t hear him speak for a good few minutes, so you take his silence as rejection. Of course he would reject you. You had hurt him, why would he want to get back with someone like you. You let out a shaky breath as a sigh, disappointment for you escaping through it as you stood up.
Standing in front of you saying I’m sorry for that night
You attempted to smile through your tears. If this was going to be the last time you see him, might as well say goodbye with a smile.
“I got your answer, Suguru. Thank you for giving me best moments of my life. Maybe I didn’t get to have you back, but at least I can live on with your memories. Maybe I-” You didn’t get to finish your sentence as you felt a pair of all too familiar lips on yours, shutting you up.
It turns our freedom ain’t nothing but missing you
You widened your eyes from surprise but immediately shut them as you kissed back, your hands reaching to hug his neck, bringing him closer to you. Suguru wrapped his one arm around your waist and other made its way in your nape, holding you just like he always used to.
Both of you could taste salty tears as you kissed, but weren’t sure who’s they were. All that mattered in that moment was the two of you. You poured all of your love, apprehensions, bottled up feelings for him, regrets into this kiss. He kissed you with same passion. As if your lips were the only thing he needed to survive.
Few moments later, Geto pulled away, foreheads still attached to yours, as he looked into your eyes. “Y/N, in these six months, you made me realise that the only thing which can complete me whole is you. Not getting to tell you these was tearing me apart. I thought I had lost you for good, but then you showed up at my door and all those feelings I had for you doubled. I love all of you, Y/N and I always will. And I’m willing to give us another chance, just promise me that you will talk to me next time you have those negative thoughts.”
Your heart melted hearing his words as you nodded, “I promise.”
Suguru ran his hand through your hair as he spoke again, “and I-I’ll need some time to completely forgive you. I hope you understand that. I’m just scared that you’ll leave me again.”
You quickly shook your head, “I mean it this time, Suguru. I’d never even dream of leaving you. I just got you back. And it’s okay. Take your time. I’m willing to wait for you, even if it is for an eternity.”
Suguru smiled at your words and pulled you into his chest as he swayed you slowly, holding you tightly close to him, and you finally felt complete again. You kissed his neck as you returned his gesture, silently promising him and yourself to never give up on him and let him go ever again.
I’d go back to December all the time
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Ahhh I loved writing angst sm but it always breaks my heart if it doesn’t end with fluff. Anyways hope y’all liked this and if you want, you can send in request for JJK characters too!
(I might’ve gotten a little carried away at the end but i think it was worth it lmao)
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gunsatthaphan · 3 months ago
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~ Monthly BL Breakdown: November 2024 ~ 
❄️ Happy December!!! 🎄
Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 
New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff! -> previous breakdowns
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What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)
🌟 Bad to Bed - November 2nd (Taiwan)
🌟 Love in the Air: Koi no Yokan (remake of Love in the Air) - November 3rd (Japan)
🌟 Our Youth - November 5th (Japan)
🌟 Episode 9. Nineteen, Eighteen (special ep) - November 9th (South Korea)
🌟 Cityboy_Log - Volume 5 - November 12th (South Korea)
🌟 All the Liquors (movie) - November 13th (South Korea)
🌟 Caged Again - November 15th (Thailand)
🌟 Secret Love - November 16th (Thailand)
🌟 Your Sky - November 17th (Thailand)
🌟 Mhom Ped Sawan (bl side story) - November 17th (Thailand)
🌟 The Heart Killers - November 20th (Thailand) ✅
🌟 Winter Is Not the Death of Summer but the Birth of Spring - November 20th (Thailand)
🌟 Actors High - November 21st (Japan)
🌟 Sweet Daddy - November 22nd (Cambodia)
🌟 Seoul Blues: Spin-off - November 24th (South Korea)
🌟 GMMTV 2025: Riding the Wave - November 26th (Thailand) ✅
🌟 Spare Me Your Mercy - November 28th (Thailand)
Monthly Likes / Dislikes
❣️ After barely having any hope for this year's gmmtv event, I'm very pleased with the lineup. I'm looking forward to most of the announcements and they really managed to give us a few surprises. Only 2 lakorns and 18 BL/GL productions is definitely a new record lol, it looks like the str8s are going extinct. Thank god. Thumbs up!
❣️ Obviously I have to talk about THK, we are only on episode 2 but it's already owning my existence lol. I had lots of inhibitions about it being weird and cringe but I'm loving it so far. The good ol' jojo chaos is kicking in hard and yes it is silly and unserious but in the best way. It's everything I need right now. My 4 boys are all delivering the best they have to offer and I really hope the energy stays on that level. The show is getting a lot of hate and I understand why it's not for everyone but idgaf. They're just jealous bc their faves could never. 10/10 I'm obsessed.
New series & movie announcements
🎥 Heart Stain - Date TBA (South Korea)
🎥 Exclusive Love - Date TBA (Taiwan)
🎥 Rearrange - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Gel Boys - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Buddy Or Bestdy (reality show by Y Entertainment to cast new BL actors) - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Secret Relationships - Date TBA (South Korea)
🎥 The Killer Next Door - Date TBA (South Korea)
🎥 The Renovation - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Love Like a Bike (produced by AllThis Entertainment) - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 I'll Turn Back This Time (Meet You at the Blossom spinoff) - Date TBA (China)
🎥 Boxer - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Friend to Fan - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 When It Rains It Pours (manga adaption) - Date TBA (Japan)
🎥 Login - Date TBA (South Korea)
Other news from the BL world
❗️ This year's Thailand Headlines Person of the Year Awards were held on November 7th. The following BL actors/productions won:
Best Series: Only Friends
Best Actor: Khaotung Thanawat
Best Ship: FirstKhaotung
Most beloved on-screen duo: FirstKhaotung
Best OST: "Let's Try" by Khaotung Thanawat (Only Friends)
❗️ TeeTee Wanpichit  and Por Suppakarn were announced as the winners of the second season of Domundi's reality show DMD Friendship. The 2 actors will get to star in the company's next BL project. The title is still unknown.
❗️ A second season for the Thai BL Make a Wish was announced. The show aired in 2023 starring Fluke Natouch and Judo Tantachj. An airdate has not been announced.
❗️ After keeping the casting a secret for several weeks, Domundi has announced Big T. and Park A. as the leads in their upcoming series Me and Who. An airdate has not been announced.
❗️ Taiwanese twin-actors Xia De and Xia En (HIStory: Make Our Days Count) will star in an upcoming BL titled I Promise I Will Come Back, alongside Thai actor Tontae Tinnakorn. The production is a collaboration between Thailand and Taiwan and will air in 2025.
❗️ Japanese actor Keita Machida (Cherry Magic) was announced as the lead in the upcoming BL production 10Dance, alongside Ryoma Takeuchi. The movie is set to premiere in 2025 on Netflix.
❗️ StarHunter held their 2025 lineup event on November 12th. The following BL productions were announced:
Be My Soulmate (starring MosBank)
True Moon
Time Zone
Flirt Milk
❗️ GMMTV held their 2025 lineup event on November 26th. The following BL productions were announced:
Dare You to Death (starring JoongDunk)
Head 2 Head (starring SeaKeen, JavaSurf)
Burnout Syndrome (starring OffGunDew)
Only Friends: Dream On (starring EarthMix, JossGawin, OhmLeng)
That Summer (starring WinnySatang, MondRyu)
My Romance Scammer (starring OhmFluke, JuniorMark)
Melody of Secrets (starring ForceBook)
Love You Teacher (starring PerthSanta)
Cat for Cash (starring FirstKhao)
Boys in Love (starring MickLuke, ChokunAston, PoddPapang)
My Magic Prophecy (starring JimmySea)
A Dog and a Plane (starring TayNew, MarcPoon)
Me and Thee (starring PondPhuwin)
Memoir of Rati (starring GreatInn, AouBoom)
Ticket to Heaven (starring GeminiFourth)
Upcoming series & movies for December:
👉🏻 Addicted Heroin Special Episode - December 1st (Thailand)
👉🏻 Tokimeki Bomb - December 1st (Japan)
👉🏻 Hidden - December 3rd (Thailand)
👉🏻 ThamePo: Heart that Skips a Beat - December 13th (Thailand)
👉🏻 Eternal Butler - December 20th (Taiwan)
👉🏻 Sangmin Dinneaw - December TBA (Thailand)
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bloopitynoot · 5 months ago
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Reading SVSSS: Chapter 20
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For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!
If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.
Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.
hello hello! As promised the tattoo reveal.
I survived getting half my sleeve lined but boy am I sore. Tattoos on your hand are the absolute pits. Like no joke, hand tattoos are rough my guys. 10/10 do not recommend, but I'm doing it because it looks cute LOL.
This tattoo will be a tea themed sleeve. Featured on this half: hibiscus, chamomile, green tea leaves, raspberries + raspberry leaf, and lemons. I have another appointment in December and January to get the shading done but for now just lines!
I did not have tea with this chapter but that is okay- let's get into the notes!
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I was so hung up on Luo Binghe and Shen Qingqiu's relationship that I totally forgot an entire war is brewing. Well. Here we go LOL
unrelated but important question- what is their ship name???
Okay we are starting the chapter strong with SQQ's gay panic LOL Re: SQQ lying to himself, the reader, and the gods about him actually meaning that he missed the light of his life LBH p241
These two!!!!! "Then why didn't you come look for this master inside the dream realm" p242
"Whenever Shizun is at Cang Qiong Mountain" Luo Binghe said quietly, "When Shizun is with other people, he always smiles so happily. So I thought you wouldn't miss me". p243 This guy is the absolute master manipulator or he just requires unlimited amounts of reassurance. Either way My HEART!
The cat and mouse game at this point is wild. Really Shen Qingqiu needs to figure his shit out because the "accidental" flirting is horse shit. p245
💀💀💀💀💀💀💀 "Why does it sound like i've become your father" p246. NO THANKS. But also no wonder it feels weird as fuck- SQQ does not want to be LBH's daddy (in that way).
OOP! FINALLY. Luo Binghe is totally sus about SQQ's knowledge about the future and other things he really shouldn't know. I really hope it's revealed that he is from another world and Luo Binghe is chill with it. p248
Liu Qingge walks into any room in which SQQ was seemingly alone: p250
This is a side note but I really like Qi Qingqi, this woman is fierce as fuck. Like no nonsense I would 100% trust her with my life, death, and rebirth. I do suspect that she doesnt play a large role in the story but I wish she was present more. I do totally want to eventually read some fics with her in them because she is such a badass. p254
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Dang! So the realm merging begins! I am sad though that they don't want SQQ to go, but I get it; he keeps running away or getting grievously injured. Also it's so weird that no one is really questioning how he has this much knowledge of future events, they just kind of accept it and run with it LOL (except Luo Binghe who has done the most questioning). pp256-257
Xuan Su is so fucking cool!!!!! p257
Well I am sure that LBH reputation points will increase now that he's saved Zhao Hua Monastery! p260 Thank fuck too, because I really wasn't seeing a positive end game for him and SQQ if he wasn't able to turn his reputation around.
This cheeky guy LOL "Shizun I have missed you, it's been so long" like the fool wasn't sitting in his lap the night before LOL pp261-262
SO AWKWARD LOL. LBH telling everyone who is important that he only cares for SQQ and will only do what SQQ wants him to do and will do absolutely anything for him. Meanwhile SQQ: . I DIED: "Peak Lord Shen has truly raised a good disciple. He's become our cultivation world's tremendous fortune." Though he said "raised a good disciple" the tone was no different from the way he might say "married a good husband." pp262-263
Well. I thought it was embarrassing before, but then we get hit with the "Luo Binghe nodded solemnly. "Yes." His face spread into a smile. "And Shizun is mine.". p265
I really love every conversation between SQH and SQQ. The understanding they have and the banter is so good pp266-267
LOL LBH : I am sooooo tired, let me fly with you? p268
LBH really is shameless! The public hand holding!!! Now it makes me want to read fics from LBH POV- we get SQQ this entire time, but I want to see what LBH has going on in there LOL. p269
He really was yeeted
RIP SQH. May you not die in that hole. pp270-271
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gallavichthings · 1 year ago
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It's time!
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How would you all like 21 22 fics on the 21st 22nd of December?
The Gallavich Masquerade Ball 2023 is now open! Grab a glass of champagne or anything else you'd prefer, some hors d'oeuvres, and choose your (first) dance partner for the night!
You can check all the fics in our AO3 collection or on this post, after the cut. A list of all authors with links to their profiles is also included. This post is pinned so you can check it whenever you want.
And here's the link for the form where you can put your guesses. It's only one form for all the fics, so please wait to submit your guesses only after you've read them all.
Here's the updated point system:
Points for readers: Correct guess on first choice: 5 points. Correct guess on second choice: 2 points. Incorrect guess: lose 1 point. (Please note that you only lose 1 point per story, even if you guess incorrectly on both choices.)
Points for writers: If someone correctly guesses your fic (regardless of in the first or second choice): 1 point. If someone wrongfully guesses your fic: 3 points.
Leaving kudos and comments is allowed and appreciated! Writers are also allowed to answer, but it's up to them whether to already do it or wait until everyone's identity is revealed so as not to give anything away accidentally. Oh, and if you want to post something about the fics here on Tumblr but can't tag them, I can serve as buffer for now lol.
Oh, and the surprise? The winners will get some great fanart, courtesy of the talented @doshiart! Isn't that awesome?! 🥂
Cheers!
Keep reading to get a list of all the fics with their summaries and word count, as well as a list of all the authors, with links to their AO3 profiles.
FICS:
AITA?  (2,072)
AITA? My new clients (29M and 31M) threatened me and I want to fire them. I know that’s not official therapist speak. TLDR; I want to encourage them to have healthier boundaries and find a new therapist, but until then, what do I do?
Attitude adjustment (4,483)
Post-canon Ian and Mickey figure out some relationship issues. That includes insults, (play-)fighting, more insults, and orgasms. Or: Mickey is having an attitude. Thank god Ian knows exactly what to do.
Black Charcoal meets Fiery Red (1,838)
Ian poses in a life drawing class. A straight forward job, if not for the guy with the blue eyes who can't stop staring at him.
Carnival (3,136)
Ian and Mickey spend the evening at a carnival... "Ian locked the car’s door, and put his arms around Mickey’s shoulders, as they walked towards the carnival. He had brought the leaflet home a few days ago, wiggling the colorful sketch of a carousel and the outdated font under Mickey’s nose with some hopeful glee. Mickey had protested for habit sake, but had caved in pretty easily..."
Five Dates with Brad f*cking Pitt (4,269)
Sometimes things may not be what they seem. Especially when there are assholes around who add fuel to the fire just for the sake of a fucking joke.
Groceries (2,260)
A routine trip to the store turns into a trip down memory lane.
The Guardians (4,879)
3,000 years ago, they had to join forces to defeat an evil sorcerer. Now, the sorcerer was back, and more powerful than ever. Could they defeat him for good?
i'll find a new place to be from (5,947)
They stand in silence for a couple beats, unspoken words lingering above their heads. The cig in his hand has long burned out and Ian resists the temptation to light up another, and another. He feels his mouth open, and close, then open again–but nothing comes out. Time’s up. "See you inside, Red," Mickey finally says before pushing the door open, and Ian remembers how to breathe.
Infused Attraction (3,434)
Mickey has to receive Iron infusions. Ian is a student nurse who is assisting the other nurses with the infusion. Mickey is interested in the redhead. Ian is seemingly interested in him too. Let's see how it goes!
Italy (I Trust And Love You) (3,183)
"Ian closed his eyes and ran a hand through his damp hair. He sighed and straightened his shoulders. Took a deep breath, as if to steal himself for some monumental task, and walked off down the sidewalk. The rain made quick work of drenching him. Ian didn’t seem to notice. In the dirt beneath the tree, drawn in crude blocky letters made with the toe of his boot: I + M." OR A story mostly told through Debbie's eyes during world war two, as she worries for all her brothers, but particularly the one sent home much before the rest.
Jump To Recipe (5,977)
Hiring Mickey Milkovich - Freelance Photographer to shoot the photos for his food blog was the best move Ian’s ever made. Mickey’s a fantastic shot, plus he’s committed to the success of Ian’s blog. (He’s fucking hot, too. But that’s just an added bonus.) And the best thing about him, is that in all the ways he’s professional behind the camera, he’s refreshingly unprofessional to Ian’s face. Which means when he comes around, Ian always knows he’s in for a good laugh, intriguing conversation, and an ego boost - Mickey never shy about how much he loves Ian’s food when they dig in after the shoot. Ian’s made chocolate lava cake today. But when extra time leads to their at-home appointment going way off script - Mickey wanting to update Ian’s headshots, but with a twist - who will the spicier photos leave wanting more, the “housewife army” from his blog’s comment section, or Ian and Mickey?
A Lot (4,245)
What could have happened if Ian had told Mickey that he was worried about going to Mexico with him?
The man in the van (2,141)
“Suppose I should thank you for the compliment then,” Ian teases, smirking a little. The guy snorts. “Don’t mention it, Red. I just call ‘em like I see ‘em.” He proceeds to shamelessly check Ian out again, licking the corner of his mouth as he does. or Ian Gallagher wouldn't mind some excitement in his life. Enter one Mickey Milkovich, ready to oblige.
ole red (5,596)
Mickey is out of prison and walking the straight and narrow with help of his cheering section, P.O. Larry . It’s hard being tough in a pastel polo and dad shorts. Old Army is just a paycheck until he meets the assistant manager, Ian. Finally he figures out Ian was Mandy’s Ian from their teen years. Mickey is attracted to the redhead but is still closeted. Ian responds to Mickey lashing out by revealing he knows Mickey’s secret. Mickey decides to be brave and the reward , huge 😈
The Reason to Exist (4,851)
lieutenantcolonel [18:22]: can you stop stealing my loot lieutenantcolonel [18:22]: this team only needs 1 sharpshooter anyway 😐 mm1234567890 [18:23]: shut up u f** lieutenantcolonel [18:23]: WHAT
Red Hot (4,364)
Ian's workday has been shitty... but his afternoon might just be very different. Thanks to his favorite nephew and a certain mouthy and opinionated stall owner at the winter farmer's market.
A Salute Before We Sink (4,601)
The world will end tomorrow. Ian's only chance at survival is to earn a spot in an underground bunker. One man stands in his way.
Snowballs and Sneaking Out (2,441)
Mickey shows up to the Gallagher House in the middle of the night with a surprise for Ian.
So drunk on you (3,878)
"Then Mickey launches himself into quite a detailed account of the previous evening and there goes Ian’s sanity. He’s learned over the months to hone his selective hearing. That is, he’s not tuning Mickey out completely but he’s trained his brain to gloss over the facts that fall under the TMI category and focus on the highlights. Again, for the sake of his sanity. Because the thing is, he’s so gone on Mickey it’s actually embarrassing. And he’s been gone pretty much from the very beginning." Just another friends-to-lovers story.
Span the Distance, Bridge the Border (4,988)
Ian and Mickey are happy, living on the West Side and adjusting to life as husbands in their new apartment. Things are going well, really well, until one day Mickey’s brothers show up. And God only knows what they could possibly want.
weight of the world (3,360)
Mickey thought he was fucked for life and that he’d never see his mom again. Turns out he was wrong about both of those things.
Wonderful- a Gallavich Christmas Mini-fic (5,030)
In which Mickey learns the reason for the season or How the Mick gained Christmas.
AUTHORS:
Blodeuwedd
Calli_Writes
Captain_Jowl
energie_vie
Gallabitch73
gallawitch
Gembu
GrandSelfMythology
IanGalagher
JuliaKay
lingy910y
MissSnowwhitepink
mmmichyyy
My_Brain_Melted
NotHereNJ
Rayrayor
sam_writes_fics
Suzy_Queue
sweet_perversion
Sweetbee78
whatthebodygraspsnot
whatyouandihave
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alectoperdita · 2 months ago
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2024 Writing Retrospective
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This year, I recorded writing 169,141 words. All joukai, of course.
2024 saw the return of some older dormant works as well as new ones! Here is a rundown of the stories and chapters I posted on AO3 this past year.
For January, multiple new fics were posted as part of Joukai Week, including With you, it's a charmed life, A pretty fixation, a wicked temptation, and Your legend impels the tides in every ocean there is.
In March, I revisited Two monsters walk into the club, featuring incubus!Jou in a virgin killer sweater as inspired by @lulue-xie's beautiful art.
In April, I shared Test Before Applying, which was my fic for the @violetshippingzine that came out in Feb 2024, and Gasoline, a smutty extra from the Mob universe.
May saw two new chapters of In bed with the mob, my beloved.
During June, this viral photoset of two men sharing an elevator, one in a business suit and the other in a ripped mesh top, inspired me to revisit the boys in NYC in His Personal Adonis. This was also the month where I fell back down the rabbit hole with my Leverage AU, starting with The Breaking Point Job.
July continued the Leverage AU marathon with The Punch Drunk Job, where Seto returns the favor and rescues Jounouchi from an old enemy.
August featured an update to Lure with a new chapter of What you can't bury and a new fic for the Kaijou Summer Event, Uplifting Spirits, a budding summer romance between Katsuya and fox god Seto.
Kinky smut returned in full force in September with a second chapter of Duelist's Pride, Kaiba and Jounouchi's consensual non-con adventures, and The Benchwarmer Job, where hacker!Seto cockwarms for hitter!Jounouchi as he plays video games.
October was Kaiba's month with The Girl Dinner Job, a short in the Leverage AU exploring Seto's growing connection with another member of the team, while mob!Jounouchi helped to celebrate lawyer!Seto's birthday in Old Appetites.
Leverage AU brain rot continued through November and December, giving us The In Transit Job, The Cleat Chasing Job, The Catwalk Job, and The Lip Service Job.
The following ficlets were previously written on tumblr but archived on AO3 during 2024: When no words are left, we'll choke on the silence, Cold Comforts, and If Heaven and Hell decide that they both are satisfied.
Thank you to everyone who read my fics and supported me through 2024. I can't say it was an easy year, but in retrospect, a lot of writing was accomplished. I look forward to writing more of The Boys in the coming year. Maybe even finish a fic or two here and there, instead of forever starting new ones. (No guarantees, lol.)
See you all in 2025! 💜
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dreaming-marchling · 2 months ago
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2024 Fic Round Up
Tagged by @princessfbi (thank you! so thrilled to have discovered your work this year!)
2024 Word Count: 661,417
JANUARY
FEBRUARY
Safe In Certainty Started in 2023, Completed in Feb 2024 | Fast & Furious | Marked in Trust Series | 223,657k
Part four finished! Still stunned to be here story after story with the most amazing commenters I could have ever asked for. Not bad for a story I had never intended to share!
MARCH
Marked in Faith 10 chapters posted in 2024 | Fast & Furious | Marked in Trust Series | Roughly 60k posted in 2024
I'm putting this in for March because this is the month I began posting one story a month until Reckless in Devotion started. Some of those babies are longer than my oneshots, lol. Forever love exploring other POVs in the Marked in Trust world!
APRIL
MAY
The Ex 911 | Bucktommy | 17.5k
My first 911 story! My first Bucktommy story! Buck as a character totally captured me this year. I haven't been taken by a new fandom in so long so this was so exciting! Of course I beat the crap out of Buck right in my first fic for him :)
JUNE
Eyes On Me 911 | Bucktommy | 18k
Post lightning strike cataracts, I had so much fun with this one. I constantly think about extending it or maybe doing a Buddie version of it, I just loved the storyline so much and other scenes popped into my head after I posted
Doctor/Warlock Confidentiality Shadowhunters | Magnus-Centric | 17k
My first Shadowhunters of the year! Magnus Bane gets therapy against his wishes. I felt very clever for the title, lol
Heart & Universe 911 | Buddie | 6.8k
My first Buddie story! Why be stuck in a ship war when you can have BOTH?? I love writing them realizing they're in love :)
JULY
The King of the Dark Storm Shadowhunters | Malec & Chairman Meow | 5.8k
I've had this stray headcanon about Chairman being an old god trapped as a cat floating around in my head for fun for so long and finally I wrote it!
Not Sexy 911 | Bucktommy | 7k
Listen, I need more fics about Buck using sex in unhealthy ways. It's catnip for me. Tommy got a glimpse behind that particularly miserable door in this one
Invasion 911 | Buddie | 10k
Nakedperil!Buck and protective!Eddie - a match made in heaven, in my opinion
AUGUST
SEPTEMBER
Over the Cliff 911 | Gen 118 Fam | 6k
This was originally supposed to be how Buck got injured in Not Sexy but I was having way too much fun with the cliff rescue which wasn't even the point of Not Sexy so I chopped them in half to make a gen 118 family/Buck whump story and gave a much more to the point explanation for Buck's injuries in Not Sexy
Away From Us 911 | Buddie | 76k
My first 911 multichapter story! A presumed dead lawsuit era story full of angst. I fully anticipate more lawsuit era angst in my future, lol
OCTOBER
Art Class and Earthquakes 911 | HenRen/Gen Buck & Karen | 5.5k
Karen Wilson is awesome and needs more stories
NOVEMBER
DECEMBER
Reckless in Devotion Fast & Furious | Brian/Dom | 33k posted in 2024
The 5th installment in Marked in Trust series!! This took me so much longer than I thought it would but it's finally up and running and I am so excited for everyone to see what's to come :)
To Be Bonded Shadowhunters | Malec & Parabatai | 30k posted in 2024
I still literally cannot believe that this is finally being shared. I started this story in 2019 - I know I keep saying that but like this thing took me 5 years. It is my nemesis, finally vanquished. And people are enjoying it??? What? I've been cursing its name and people are now enjoying it. Wild. Wonderful
2024 has been kind of a crappy year for me irl but in fic it as been wonderful. A new fandom, so many words shared and, best of all, such amazing support and kindness from readers. You're all so wonderful and you have truly been one of the brightest pieces of my year. I cannot thank you all enough.
Tagging: You know the drill, if you saw this and thought "I wanna do that" then you're tagged. Literally @ me so I can read yours, that's how tagged you are.
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memory-switch · 3 months ago
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Yo! Welcome to my ninjago side blog
You can call me mory or memory idrc (he / him). I am an adult.
Not currently fixating on ninjago atm but genuinely I can feel it coming back yknow? It's marinating, waiting for the perfect opportunity to take complete control over my life lmao. So while I wait for the inevitable, here's a little post about me:
Not to flex but I've been watching since pilots teehee. Way back when we had to record it (thank god for on demand television). Tragically because of this, I did not know for several months that Zane hadn't been killed off in season 3 because our dvr cut out the last literal 30 seconds of that episode. I was an unwell child for weeks.
Favourite character is....to no one's surprise, Zane. He's just like me fr. Favourite season is Rebooted (wow. shocker.) and season 5 (augh tragic villain). I havent watched the 'new' seasons enough to have an opinion yet </3
I enjoy making fanart (and not to be an old sap, but I remember when there genuinely wasn't much fanart of Ninjago...and now there's literal thousands of awesome artworks, I love watching a fandom grow up, everyone's so talented).
Be prepared to see loads of posts come,... December is my guess. That's when I plan on finally watching DR (and when I'm finally released from the chains that are finals) <3
Some of my art wahoo vv
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Fun fact my main tumblr was originally created to post about ninjago (now I post pretty much just hermitcraft LOL) and recommended accounts for other people to follow based on my profile, after literal years of not posting ninjago, are still based on that (tragic).
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theweepingangelofcas · 3 months ago
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Hi can you do one with William and Sherlock (Moriarty The Patriot) meeting and later falling in love with a female pickpocket reader? The reader meets William/Sherlock after the reader steals their wallets. And maybe put a part where the reader gets into a bit of trouble and William/Sherlock saves them.
Idk if you've ever played Skyrim, but you can be a thief/pickpocket in that game. In my cringey middle school years, I wrote SO MUCH FANFIC about thieves and pickpockets omfg-
So yeah, I might be a little overqualified to write this lol. I just wrote for Sherlock for now, but hopefully William's will come along soon.
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PickPocket - Moriarty the Patriot x Reader
Sherlock Holmes
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To put it plainly, you were a good thief.
Really, really good.
It was rare you messed up your goals. After all, that meant going without money for food. Messing up a job meant that you would go hungry until you did it right again.
That was why, on that cold December day, you were so desperate to succeed in getting a single wallet that day.
You had fucked up. Your last job had left you injured, unable to sneak around in the way you needed to. You had been caught by the police, thrown into one of their carraiges... It's a miracle you'd been able to escape. The handcuffs they'd strapped you with were good, but your ability of breaking your own thumb to slip out of them was apparently better. But, that left you with a problem. You had a bounty on your head, a broken thumb, a rather nasty cut on your leg, and not a cent to your name. Anyone in your situation would've been desperate. There had been so few people out today. The weather was cold, snow falling in sheets from the clouds. The few people who passed you were obviously just as bad off as you were, vagrants who just needed a break. You didn't have the heart to take from them. That was why, when that tall man appeared, you jumped at the opportunity. But with cracked hands, and a broken thumb, it was no wonder you messed this up too. The wallet was in your hand, but his eyes were already on you, his strong hand reaching out for yours. You did the only thing you could think of.
You clasped the wallet to your chest, and ran. With the cut on your leg, it felt near impossible to get to a good speed, but you managed well enough. He had been hot on your tail for a long while now, and you were getting tired. The cobblestone street was wreaking havoc on your poor feet, and you could feel your stamina running low with each pound of your shoes hitting the ground. Your eyes looked around frantically, searching for anything that could help you, until- Aha! A different man, standing in the street. You could make out that he wasn't one of the vagrants that frequented this area, so maybe, just maybe, you could get him to help you. You released a chilling cry, calling out, "SOMEBODY! Please! Help! This man, this man, he's trying to hurt me!" You pointed hysterically to your victim, turning back to scream some more, before you collapsed into the other man, your savior, and you were both knocked to the ground. You continued to act like a damsel in distress, not even looking at the new person as you cried, "Oh thank you. Please, please help me, he's trying to-"
"Y/n L/n, right?" You finally looked at your supposed savior. Oh no. The shiny police badge was obvious now that you were close to him. "That man over there, he's-" "Trying to get his wallet back, I suppose?" The cop gestured to the leather in your hands. You could run again. You could try. But with your victim catching up to you, a police officer within mere inches of you, and your exhausted body, you knew it would be futile. "Did she steal your wallet, sir?" You couldn't even look up from the ground as the officer spoke. He'd say yes, and you'd be carted off to jail, too weak to fight- "What? God, no!" An exasperated voice raised you from your thoughts. Your victim. His hair was in a disheveled ponytail, his plain dress clothes crinkled, but he didn't look angry. No, if anything, he looked excited. "I- Excuse me?" The officer scoffed. The man nodded, "My good friend and I were just playing a good old game of keep away. She always plays so dirty with it." He mocked a frown, before chuckling, "Come on, let's go back home."
The cop hesitated, his grip on your arm tightening, "Sir, this is a wanted criminal." The man cocked an eyebrow, "So? Here, this might change your mind. And tell Lestrade to stop locking so many innocent people up. It looks bad for the Yard." The man pulled out an ID, showing it to him. Sherlock Holmes. The officer dropped his arm, "Fine. Have her. When she robs your house, don't come crying to me." The officer walked off, leaving you two alone. You had ended up in the middle of a shopping district, cold and in the dark. Where on Earth had you run to? Sherlock chuckled, "You can keep the wallet." You looked down at the leather in your hands. Opening it, there was nothing inside. "You ever hear of a group called the Baker Street Irregulars?"
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spookykoolkat · 1 year ago
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the red j.m. | chapter four
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CHAPTER FOUR: NO GOOD
series masterlist | main masterlist |
previous chapter | next chapter
pairings: older!joel miller x plus sized!younger!reader
chapter summary: you've been in jackson for a month now and things are still a little rough. you haven't found the right crowd to fit into yet, and thought maybe you might have to settle for the family of four you already know, until you meet your patrol partner, tyler. unfortunately, joel doesn't seem to like the idea of you with any other man but him.
warnings: 18+ age gap (joel is 57, reader is turning 26), inappropriate thoughts, sexual language, teasing, touching, slight jealous!joel, x-rated descriptions, crude language, perv!joel, creepy!joel, mean joel not too mean tho, MDNI!!!
wc: 6.2k
na: HI! thank you for alllll of the love oh my god my little gothic heart is so full i love you guys!!! i hope this series is everything and more to you guys bc i love this so much! hopefully as chapters go by, i get better in my writing and hope everyone enjoys it! i appreciate all of your kind words and interactions with me and making me feel welcome since i am new to writing on tumblr and kind of took a six year break from writing oneshots/fanfictions LOL. anyways please enjoy this chapter things are g3tting a little hot and heavy :P I CANT WAITT i hope that my writing is cathartic for my big girls we do not get enough representation for us in stories and writings!please enjoy! smut coming soon fr fr LMFAOO
i appreciate all reblogs, likes and comments feel free to do any one of those things or ALL! if u think its deserved :P
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DECEMBER 21ST, 2024
YOU
you’ve been in jackson for a month now. you couldn’t believe it, you truly had every doubt about staying even a week. but, it’s probably the calmest life you’ve lived in a very long time. you enjoyed it and you truly felt you’d made the right decision, it didn’t take much convincing either. but, you still haven’t unpacked the items maria gave you and continues to give you. just in case. 
the neighbors are learning your name, as you are with them, and they actually care. as much as you let them. you felt quite bad because you found yourself still not clicking with anyone around you. and you’ve tried. the people your age find you boring, almost a dark cloud over them, bursting their bubbles. younger kids only approach you because of ellie, asking for advice on stance and grip. the older group, around tommy and joel’s age, finds you a bit much. 
your language, your lack of social awareness–sometimes it gets embarrassing. saying something old heads wouldn’t necessarily like, being too blunt and a little explicit. joel figured you should hang around your age group, yet you didn’t really click in with the rest. he was far from embarrassed being around you, you just said the things he was thinking out loud.
you only found yourself clicking with joel. in many ways, as much as he let you. he was standoffish most of the time, barely cracking a smile at your weird habits and the noises you make when you’re passed out on the couch. he refused to let you break him, this wall that he had up to survive. do not get attached. he thought, maybe the less he knew you the less it’d hurt to have anything happen to you. but it seems even as little as he does know you, he’s still feeling that tug at his heart laying his eyes on you. 
it was too late. whoops.
joel doesn’t want to address that feeling, and he doesn’t want to call it as it is. he actually cares about you. he had no choice but to call it that, because why else would he lie to you about finding cassettes in the house?— so that you didn’t know what he really did to get you whatever he could get his hands on. 
he didn’t want you to know that he actually smuggled in goods that he and his family needed, and while bribing, stealing, trading and selling for necessities, he made it a mission to find at least one cassette tape for you. he didn’t know you actually saw him red handed, and you still didn’t know where those boxes were coming from. he figured if you knew, you’d bring it up. 
he made it his mission for two whole weeks, after your first week of staying with him, and finally got his hands on some actual music for you. joel hadn’t made efforts like this in a long time, and he knew that denying the fact that he at least cared for you would mean he was being delusional. 
but he was always worried about you. you were his object of affection and he craved to find a way to get you out of his mind. he actually felt guilty for thinking about you in ways you’ve probably never been before, he felt guilty for wanting nothing but to make you feel good—however that was. 
you doubted it strongly of course, shaking the feeling off as your own delusion and insanity, but you always hoped. hoped that maybe his generosity and southern hospitality was actually him caring about you in a different way, but he was a grown man. you tried to off yourself in front of him–you were insane to think he’d even look at you as anything but a liability, he hardly looked your way as it was. 
at least you thought so.
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joel paid attention to every single thing he sees and hears. he doesn’t show it, he doesn’t acknowledge it—all he does is observe. some more than others. 
you didn’t talk to him unless he talked to you, you kept your distance like he wanted, but somehow he knew everything that was going on. he didn’t have to talk to you to know you, and that’s what he was ashamed of. he watched you. 
he was a creep, he felt like someone who was abnormal and making things weirder than they had to be. he was studying you and you didn’t even know. he picked up on what made you smile, which cassettes you listened to the most, which just so happened to be the ones he was ‘holding on to.’ and in the midst of observing you, he checked you out any time he got. 
when you weren’t looking mostly, but even sometimes when you were talking to him about something not so important. he realized that if you did see that his eyes wandered over you, you were probably gaslighting yourself into thinking he wasn’t doing exactly what you thought he was doing. he loved your body. and he loved the way you dressed your body, the way the shirts you wore always clung to your heavy breasts, how even when you dressed in baggy clothes he still wanted to ruin you like that. 
sick. you’re a sick old pervert, ya kno’ that? he knew. what joel didn’t know is why you made him feel this way, why you drove him to do the things that he does for you. why he acted feral every time you bent over, why he would storm out of the room when you got on your hands and knees to pick something you dropped up off the floor. 
but he also studied you because he wanted to make sure you weren’t feeling how you felt the night you woke up in jackson, to make sure you weren’t feeling depressed or like you didn’t want to be here anymore. just talk to her fucker. he couldn’t. he would never admit it, but he’s eavesdropped near ellie’s garage to hear conversations between the two girls. 
“ellie, i mean it, you cannot tell joel.” you hushed as you glanced towards the door, back to ellie. 
she scoffed. “like i’d tell him, lay it on me.” you noticed the irritation in her eyes when you brought up joel, asking yourself if maybe there was something that wasn’t being said. you just put a pin in it. 
“okay. one, i’m finally allowed a gun and i got my patrol route.” you cheered in a hush and joel almost pressed his ear into the door. 
ellie rolled her eyes, grabbing the piece of paper. “no fucking fair. good looks, telling me bad news first. what’s two?” she joked. 
“i met my patrol partner. his name’s uh, tyler? i think. yeah,” you looked down and nodded, assuring yourself. joel made it a note to tell ellie how thin her walls were, not right now though. 
“tyler… tyler m?” joel thought of every man in this town named tyler with the letter M as his last name. instantly made a mental list of five tylers. 
“i don’t know. but he asked me for a drink. tonight, he was gonna meet me here but i told him i’d meet him there. lesson number 5, always have a way to leave anywhere you are if you need to.” you said. you figured it’d be best to teach her as much as you could, telling her things she needed to hear to survive. 
that’s how joel knew immediately what was happening when he heard your soft singing from your cracked door. you were getting ready for him. he actually hated it. he couldn’t remember the last time he felt that heat in his chest, biting the tongue—it wasn’t until his face turned down into the old familiar feeling, what he recognized as jealousy. 
who was he to be jealous? for what? it was a saturday night, most people were off of work, and everyone was settling in the town’s circle to drink and watch movies. everyone but joel. he was now classified as a bitter old man, with a dark whiskey in his glass. maybe now a bitter, creepy old man as he knocks slightly on the cracked door and you invite him in. 
you were fixing the laces on your shoes, simple black converse, and his eyes made his way up from there to your face. a deep v neck shirt that looked like a second skin from how tight it was, and faded black jeans with tiny holes from being lived in that hugged the fat of your thighs. he never noticed the gold dainty necklace that sat in the middle of your chest, but it sits right between the curves of your breasts. were they always that big? he felt like a kid, ogling and asking stupid questions.  
“hellooo? joel?” you called to him as you rested your palms on the width of your thighs. he saw your lips, coated in a sheen and your hair split down the middle instead of being in a pony tail or bun. creepy old man. you’re being creepy joel!!! he shook his head. 
“headin’ to the circle?” he asked. if he were close enough you could smell the whiskey on his breath. 
“yeah i-,” you thought for a minute. joel didn’t trust the next person as much as you did. you saw his protectiveness through ellie, you felt maybe he’d feel the same for you. even if you were a bit delusional. 
“-was gonna catch a movie with ellie, most likely be back around 12.” you said as you glanced at the clock, 9:32. 
“‘s that right?” he said suggestively, like he knew something you didn’t. he did. 
“yeah. that’s right,” you stood firm, even shot him a dirty look. “why don’t you enjoy the night, joel. you got the house to yourself, ain’t that what you’ve been mopin’ around for?” you stood up and grabbed your gun to put in your waistband behind your shirt, sticking a knife in your high top converse and one in your jean pocket. 
maybe you got too defensive, but you were right in a way. he looked miserable around the house, storming in just to grab a beer and lock himself in the library or room. 
“that’s right,” he was just smug. so smug you couldn’t stand it, you wanted to slap him. 
“whatever joel,” you wanted to be right so bad. you wanted to prove to even yourself that you were right. but neither of you were buying into this act you played, and you knew it. he was making you nervous with his stare, the hard shell you had was practically ripped off of you when he grabbed your wrist before you left the room. he held you, shoulder to shoulder and looked at your face, down your neck and to your chest. 
“if you need anythin’, you let me know darlin’.” darlin’? it was so foreign to you, so alien that you didn’t even have time to process it before your mouth moved to say a small alright and taking your arm from his grip. when you did, it was cold and you could feel the print of his hand around your wrist down the stairs. 
it was so different, something that leaked off of his words when he spoke to you. and you wanted to hear more of it, explore that with him. 
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
before you could psych yourself out of going through the bar’s doors, you heard someone call for your name and turned your head to the left to see tyler, walking towards you with a big grin on his face. tyler was just two years older than you, someone you met while you were in combat and patrol classes, and didn’t acknowledge until he approached you, re-introducing himself as your partner for the first two weeks. you couldn’t be cold and shoo him away, you just smiled and introduced yourself, really looking at him. 
he was not joel miller. tyler’s skin wasn’t as tan as joel’s but he wasn’t pale, and he was actually a bit lanky even under the thick coats he layered. you noticed that his chest wasn’t as broad and strong as joel’s, hell his arms were smaller than yours. he was a skinny tall thing, while you were a bit short and thick everywhere. and when he embraced you lightly at the entrance of the bar, you just felt cold. no warmth, no comfort, you felt like you’d break him. 
“hey, i was hoping you’d actually come.” he breathed in as he pulled away, still, it wasn’t feeling right. 
“why wouldn’t i?” 
“cause you’re out of my league,” he said with a seductive smile and you wanted to believe him. wanted to enjoy the night as it comes and maybe have a few drinks, talk. but your mind was on a bitter man who sat in a house all by his lonesome. 
the thing about ‘dates’ now is that small talk doesn’t happen anymore. what’s your mom like? she’s dead actually. really? mine too! it was pointless. if you ended up here, you knew that you were alone. 
it wasn’t long before you and tyler were sitting on two stools, side by side. your knees were in between his as the two of you talked, flirted, gave simple touches. you were having fun. doing what would seem normal at a bar, just enjoying the company of someone who actually liked you. 
“how come you’ve never hung out with anyone else? i never see you with anyone.” he said, his fingers tapping on your knee. 
“mmm, i’m just not for everyone.” you flirted, covering his fingers with yours. you knew this wasn’t going anywhere, but you’d like to live in it just a little longer. the touch of a man, someone who desired you even if it wasn’t how you wanted. something you started to crave from joel. 
“maybe you’re just for me then?” he suggested, and you decided to just play into it. it was kind of hard not to when you were thinking of joel, you needed to act out on it. 
“i doubt that, honey,” you said, tugging at the collar of his shirt. he smelled like tequila and grass, something not that appealing but you ignore it. you wanted something out of him tonight, because for some reason the words joel spoke to you kept ringing in your ears. if you need anything, you let me know darlin’. the words rumbled through your body and straight to your core, because if there’s anything you need he could definitely be of help. 
you didn’t know how long you stayed at this bar, teasing and touching each other until you felt the ache in your core, aching for a touch that you’ve had once before. but you didn’t give a shit about purity or virginity, you wanted the ache gone and you knew tyler was the best bet. 
“tyler,” you whispered in his ear as the bar started to empty. 
“yes, beautiful?” he answered and slid his hand up your thigh. 
“show me how good you are with your fingers, yeah?” 
⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒
he followed you back to joel’s, hand in hand as you turned the key to the house and softly opened the door to prevent the creaking. granted, you didn’t think this through, like everything else. maybe you should’ve gone to his. you cringed a bit, walking inside. 
it was dark inside, nothing but the sizzle of a freshly put out fire. you put your fingers to your lips to shush him, taking him slowly upstairs and to your room. you couldn’t help but find yourself glancing at joel’s door, which is cracked open. 
you finally made it to your room with the lanky man groping your body and trying to slither you out of your jeans, letting him. 
“only want your fingers, okay? if not you can leave.” you established as you stood in your panties and tight shirt. 
“fuck, yeah that’s okay,” tyler himself was craving a woman’s touch, he didn’t even care if he got off. he just wanted to see you, a woman’s body, to feel you. 
“can i touch you? like anywhere?” he asked as he sat on the edge of your bed, his cock already hardened against his pants. it didn’t sound right coming from him. you wondered what it’d sound like with the texas twang you craved to hear from a certain man. 
it still made your core twinge a bit, remembering the last time you were this vulnerable. you couldn’t lie, even if it wasn’t what you wanted, you fell in to the odd touch of the man desperately trying to touch you. 
“anywhere. keep your dick in your pants, i’ll touch as i go if you want me to.” you moved over to him and crawled into your bed, and he slipped in next to you as he propped himself on his elbow to look at you. 
“you’re so pretty, really.” he said, genuinely and you smiled. your stomach even fluttered a bit. it’s been a long time hearing that, hearing desire. 
“touch me, please.” 
tyler took his time, a little more than you’d liked but he was busy distracted with the way your tits pushed up to your chin, like you were suffocating. touching and teasing, his touch felt good but it still didn’t feel right, it didn’t feel heartstopping. maybe you’re expecting too much. 
but he didn’t talk to you when he dipped his hand in your panties, you just heard his whimpers and panting as he rutted his hard on into the side of your fat thigh, barely focused on you. you weren’t feeling it anymore, your wetness wasn’t even directed towards him really. everything you did with him was what you wanted to do with joel. you weren’t interested anymore and it started to feel wrong, it never felt good because tyler wasn’t worried about you. just his nut, and you didn’t like that. you didn’t like to feel used. 
“okay, wait, wait—i said wait!” you said and grabbed his wrist, pulling it from your panties and moving off of the bed. 
“wait, fuck i’m sorry, i was just so, fuck i’m so sorry.” he said a bit loudly, and you swore you heard a creak in the hallway as you moved to the door. 
“it’s okay, i just, i’m not–i’m tired. i think you should go.” you said, hugging your arm as he adjusted himself in his pants and got up. 
“i’m sorry, i,-” he tried again and you waved him off. 
“it’s done and forgotten, you didn’t do anything you were just really into it. i wasn’t.” you were careful with your words, not as tough as you would be because you’re vulnerable. but he wouldn’t get far if he hurt you, you knew that. 
“i’m sorry, goodnight. can we kind of like, forget this?” he asked rubbing the back of his neck and you softly laughed. 
“forget what?” you smiled and he returned it, giving a small kiss on the cheek before he left. he was a nice man, a good kid, and he meant no harm. he didn’t need a ruthless beating or yelling, just needed to tell him it wasn’t meant to be. you couldn’t shake the feeling of how wrong it was, how wrong it felt being tyler touching you. 
you knew who you wanted to touch you. as sweet and kind and charming tyler was, he wasn’t what you wanted. the man you wanted was across the hall from you, on the other side of the stairs. sleeping, maybe. 
you knew ellie was at a friends house doing only god knows what, so with the hope in mind that joel was asleep in his room, you trotted downstairs braless, and bottomless. you were still in the same tight shirt you left in, but now just in the pink panties that were apart of the gifts maria got you. just new/traded clothing you needed. the shirt hugged you and cut off at the dip of your curve, the fat of your tummy slightly protruding between the shirt and your panties. 
you didn’t look towards the fireplace where the sofas were, instead you grab a small cup and let faucet water pour into it, taking a drink. 
“work up a sweat?” a deep southern voice said behind you, from a distance. you jumped at the sudden break of silence and turned quickly to the sofas. 
“joel? what the fuck,” you breathed and stepped out to walk to the sofas. somehow, you completely disregarded the fact that all you had on was a shirt and panties, standing in joel miller’s living room. 
“what made you think it was a bright idea to invite a bastard in my home like that? not only that,” he said. you finally saw the light from outside shining on his face as he stood up, something glimmering in his hand. a gun. “but letting him touch all over you? that prick?” 
you had a lot to say, a lot to yell out. but the only thing to say was a snarky comment. “you know he called you the same thing.” 
which, he did. but you were too drunk on the flirting and drinks to care or to know why, even though you already knew. joel wasn’t nice to anyone but ellie. tommy and maria even think he’s an asshole, but that’s tommy’s brother and maria’s brother in law. he’s family. but there were things that you didn’t know about joel miller. things he didn’t want you to know either. 
“why do you even care? who’s touching me, i mean.” you scoff, feeling less embarrassed about your state of clothing. but being a lot more aware as he steps closer and closer to your curvy figure, putting his gun in the waistband of his sweatpants. 
he was intimidating like this. towering over you with his fists clenched, searching your face for something. you felt your heartbeat pick up as his eyes raked over you and fell on your lips. he was drunk off of you, the sight of your fat cunt only being clothed by a single piece of fabric drove him to dig his nails in his palms. the nakedness of your thighs, and the midriff showing—it was going to kill him.
“if you’re gonna fuck these town folk, make sure it ain’t in my house.” he spit, and you just rolled your eyes. you felt like you were in trouble for sneaking out, like a teenager. 
“i didn’t fuck anyone. we didn’t do anything. he wanted to, i didn’t.” you defended, feeling small now but still holding yourself tall.
joel just looked at you, not wondering if you were lying or not. he knew you weren’t, he heard it himself the minute he heard something bang against your wall. it was just you shuffling to get up, and he heard you consoling him. you weren’t satisfied. 
“why’d you lie to me? bout’ seein’ him tonight?” he asked, your head tilted up to his as he steps one step closer. your chest is almost touch his, and your breathing was getting heavier. 
“figured you wouldn’t trust him,” you said, sounding like you wanted to say something else but keeping it to yourself. 
he was watching you like you were his prey. like you were something he wanted to take and devour for himself, like you were something for his eyes only. 
“smart girl,” 
“he touch you wrong?” he couldn’t help but ask, the curiosity killing him slowly as time passes with you standing in front of him with your tight pink panties on. he looked down between the two of you and saw the hardened pebbles that were your nipples showing up through your black tight shirt, down to your tummy that was pressed against his. he liked the softness of your belly, he was practically dying to grip it himself. he wanted to grip every part of you, to palm your pussy and feel how warm you were in his grip. he even found himself hating his own mind as thought of what your pussy would look like sucking him in. 
“i, he,” you were stuttering, embarrassing yourself as his hand trailed up your arm, thinking of all the ways he could watch you take his cock for him. 
you watched him watch you. how his eyes went dark again, how there was a slight touch of possessiveness in his voice. you didn’t assume though.
“can’t find the words, hm? he wasn’t makin’ you feel good?” he asked softly, watching as you closed your eyes and breathed through your mouth, opening again to see a small grin playing on his lips, his head tilted to the side. his fingers barely left your wrist, and made their way to your fleshy hip, tapping against the bare skin. he was enjoying this. making you squirm. making you nervous. 
“fuck off, joel,” you meant it to come out a lot stronger than it did, even you thought you sounded needy. “s’ none of your damn business,” you spit, stronger this time.
and before you could even wallow in your retorts, a smile tugged very faintly at his lips. you weren’t so convincing when you were practically trying to pull him to your body with your fists buried in his sweater. he appreciated the effort though, he's never met someone with as much bite in their bark as you.
he just liked to watch you writhe for him. you wanted to whine with how eager you were for him, how mean he was being to you for no reason. you needed him.
“it’s like you’re not even tryin’, what’s the matter? do i make you nervous sweetheart?” he gleamed in his power over you, the way your eyes searched for him and your mouth parted, just for him. he wanted to ruin you in every way. ruin every man for you, show you how to truly be taken care of.
"go fuck yourself," you retorted and he actually laughed. and he laughed at you. a sudden heat rushed to your cheeks, embarrassment filling you.
“i didn’t tell you but,” he paused as he leaned into your ear, grazing his cheek against yours and smiling to himself, “you looked real pretty today, ya know that? you look even prettier like this, all flustered for me.” 
you had to be dreaming. had to have gone to sleep after tyler left, and this was your wet dream making up for it. there was no way you were this exposed to joel and he was practically pressed up against your body as he told you how pretty you looked. you couldn’t speak, your tongue was tied and joel smiled to himself as he realized he got you to shut up.
“would ya let me touch you, sweet girl? maybe you'd be nicer if someone knew how to touch you,” he asked, his fingers playing on your hip. 
you still couldn’t answer. it felt like a trap, like if you let yourself give in to his words, every guard you put up was pointless. you were frozen, and suddenly felt insanely vulnerable but his voice was so inviting, so impossible to not fall into.
“touch me where?” you asked, treading lightly. you wanted to hear it, you wanted him to tell you he wanted you as bad as you wanted him. you wanted to prove to yourself that you hadn't lost your mind yet. but you also wanted to stretch whatever this was as long as possible before you find yourself on your knees for him without even asking.
joel felt like he was out of his body. like he was watching you squirm and move under his presence from above. he was so distracted by how hard your nipples were rubbing against him that he didn’t even notice your fists balled into his shirt, trying to take him in closer. maybe it was the alcohol he drank to ignore the jealousy he felt, or maybe it was the fact that tommy came to tell joel about the boy you were seeing. how the two of you were practically on top of each other before he left, how he was touching you in public–he was angry. 
nothing was done, nothing more than joel grabbing your almost bare hip and you tugging on his shirt, but it still felt like something that was crossing a line. a line you wanted to cross.
until he got the courage to grab the hand that was buried in his sweater, taking it in his own and touching you with your hand. he was answering your question. his hand ghosted on top of yours as his eyes watched your eyes train on the sight between the two of the bodies, enjoying how soft and pink you look. you were hot and bothered, and he could get used to seeing you like this. 
“first place i’d touch you, baby,” he breathes, his lips practically against your cheek now. he was breathing you in, drinking you in, “is right here,” 
his hand guided you to cup your mound, angry that it wasn’t his hand touching you. your breath was shaky while you watched him, your eyes flickering from his moving hand to his eyes, and every time he made sure your eyes latched onto his. he wanted you to know how much he was enjoying teasing you like this, he wanted you to remember the way he looked at you while you panted against him. 
“but like this, lemme show you ‘xactly how i’d touch you sweetheart,” he was lost, drunken only on you, ignoring the world around him. “don’t think that boy would be enough for a woman like you, ain’t that right?"
he took his own hand as you were still pressed against his front, his lips now teasing the skin of the crook of your neck and starting to pull your panties away from your skin to dip his hand inside. your breathing was uneven and your soft whimpers were getting louder the more he trailed down into your underwear, and he was loving them.
the second he felt the scruff of your unshaved mound, he heard you release a shaky, sexy breath, and he grew harder against your bare abdomen. even feeling the heat of your skin on his clothed cock made him want to get on his knees and worship you.
"needy little fuckin' thing, that desperate for me huh? you gonna let me feel this pretty pussy how i want?"
he was so fucking filthy. so filthy for someone who hasn't even seen you naked, so filthy for someone who didn't even talk to you before this. it was agonizing, you were melting into his harsh words and wanted to listen to him make you feel small like this all night.
"joel, i swear," you warned as his breath hit your lips with his eyes on yours.
you had a bush, he thought to himself. he really didn’t think that would turn him on of course,  but now he pictured you standing in front of him, bottomless. how your belly would look with your curves, the way your breasts would rest at their natural position, your thighs fat and wide all for him, and the pretty fat mound waiting for him to feel and taste. worst time to think all of that of course, because it sent a flood of blood and excitement to his groin, giving him another thing to be nervous about. but god did he want to see it, see all of you laid in his bed, and tugging on the thatch of hair on your mound. he was fucked.
and god forbid you figured out that he’s been picturing you bent and folded in every way just so he could reach to the back of your cervix, if you figured out that his anger towards you is pent up sexual frustration because every time you’re in the shower, he’s thinking of the way you looked lathered in soap, waiting for him to join you. he was a sick man to think of you like this, but all of his desires and fantasies were threatening to barge in, to unleash all of his wants and needs to you. 
he was fighting himself to be a respectable man, a man who doesn’t think of women who were young enough to be his own kid in ways that were sinful. he shouldn’t be wanting to fill your throat with his cock when you smart mouth him. he was losing whoever he thought was himself, and letting heart and cock do his thinking. 
you couldn't think right, nothing was processing as you felt the heat of his hand on your cunt. you felt another wave of pleasure hit you and suddenly, you could feel your wetness pooling for him in your panties. you had a hard time wrapping your head around the fact that joel actually wanted you too, even if he wanted to put you in your place for once and shut you up.
you didn't care how he wanted you. you were a bitch, but you were desperate for him.
"mmm, you're real scary, baby, threats ain't gettin' you anywhere. you have t' beg me for my fingers," he teased, rubbing the hair on your mound.
"oh fuck off, i'm not begging you for shit," you're putting up a fight with yourself, and you were winning. at leadt you thought so. even if you were letting him touch you this way, you weren't goping to beg him or give him the pleasure of watching you submit to him.
"yeah? maybe i'll jus' make ya," he grinned, his sinister smile forming while he rested his forehead on yours, his hand inside your panties as the two of you watched him tease your lips.
the second joel’s finger moves from your hairy mound to the fat lips of your cunt to spread and feel just how much you ached for him, to tease your hole so you'd be sent into a fit of desperation, the two of you heard the doorknob jiggle and a loud laugh from the outside, meaning it was ellie. joel pulled his hand and body away quickly and nodded upstairs with a hard look, giving you the hint to go before ellie saw you in your panties. 
your face expressed everything to him, you needed him. and you didn’t want to let go. he watched as you walked up the stairs, your ass practically eating up the fabric of your panties. it left nothing to the imagination and he groaned, something you swore you heard, before he fixed himself in his pants. 
ellie walked in, and you stayed at the top of the stairs out of sight to hear the lecturing. 
“are you outta your damn mind, ellie? it’s three in the mornin’,” his paternal instincts were coming out, and you smiled. 
“i was down the street. relax, i just didn’t want to stay there.” ellie defended as she slipped her shoes off. 
“did somethin’ happen? are you hurt?” he asked quickly, examining ellie to see if he saw blood or cuts anywhere. 
“jeez, no joel lay off. why are you up anyways isn’t it like six hours past your bedtime?” she scoffed, annoyed at the father figure lecturing her right now. what was he gonna tell her? 
“was waitin for your friend to come home, so i can lock up before bed,” he lied. he was lying and you knew it. you came home an hour ago, and he was still up. 
“you’re in love aren’t ya? old man,” ellie teased. her demeanor was a little more playful than she’d been this last month and he shook his head annoyed, but to you it was silent. your lips pinched into a thin line as you heard joel grunt.
“go to be ellie. now.” he ordered and she rolled her eyes, saying her good nights and going to the garage to sleep in her space. 
a part of you wanted joel to come upstairs, into your room and to do everything he wanted to do. you didn’t know exactly what he wanted to do, but with the touching and flirting he was doing, it seemed like he wanted you. maybe he was drunk, you could smell it on his breath! he seemed pretty sober talking to ellie. you cursed yourself as you moved quietly to your room, leaving the door cracked open just in case. 
but nothing. you heard him trudge up the stairs, and walk directly the opposite direction into his own room. you were frustrated at this point. sexually frustrated if you must say, and the ache in your core was not leaving any time soon. 
you felt embarrassed, and you felt like joel was toying with you. all of the sudden this comes up and he's trying to finger fuck you in the living room when you genuinely thought he didn't even acknowledge your mere existence. it was so confusing for you, but the only thing you knew for sure now after a few weeks of deciding is that you craved joel miller.
it was a weird feeling. only because growing up in an apocalyptic world as a teenager and a young adult meant your chances of love and relationships were slim to none, at least for you. but you met joel in times where you had given up already.
as you lied in bed, wondering if joel was asleep or thinking about you too, you felt silly. you were setting yourself up for disaster by having hope that whatever this was with joel was more than that, and not just that. you worried you were getting ahead of yourself, maybe you were taking joel's advances too seriously. what if he just wants an easy fuck? nothing serious, something for pleasure in this dark world where everyone seeks a way to alleviate their pain
you felt like maybe you were geting into your head like you always do. maybe this could be good. maybe this could be your chance to let go, be vulnreable again, let someone make you feel like a teenager again. you had your fair share of crushes when you were in the QZ, you remembered that innocent feeling of liking someone, the shyness that came with it, how nervous you got around them. and with joel, you felt that times one hundred.
the flutters in your stomach, the goosebumps on your skin when he stands too close to you. he made you feel good even without trying.
but nothing good comes from joel miller.
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six weeks down, nine to go! 40% of the way there! i am tired of this situation lol but i am also doing okay. also this week i got to tell a bunch of people irl “i’m in my fifth week of working seven days a week” which fyi is a sentence that people respond to extremely sympathetically!!!
this is, thank god, the last week i have to go to bay ridge on a friday night… and in all likelihood is the last big prep i need to do for the SHSAT since my other kid taking it is also doing a class which takes the pressure off me some, lmao. i am nervous about a student taking a younger version of one of the private school tests who seems currently to believe he’s definitely going to take it again in december but if he does as well as i think he will it will be a pretty iffy proposition to get him to do even better and also i meet with him twice a week and don’t want to any more even though he himself is delightful… lol.
room very bad, kitchen pretty bad, to the extent that both of them are stressing me out a little, but then it’s like: well thursday i got ramen lunch with a friend, & friday i went to a party that provided honestly the perfect mix of hanging out shooting the shit downstairs/outside & dancing upstairs, both of which i needed soooooo badly, & yesterday i went with friends to the annual queens county farm musem corn maze, & today we had a very sleepy sunday at home of not moving and ordering korean takeout and watching michael clayton and sitting on the couch quietly while i read flowers in the attuc and dozed off… and i simply would not trade any of those things for a clean room! i think one of the things i have learned is that rest is important but another thing i have learned about myself is that fun is a kind of rest actually and the fact that every week i have had at least one outing even if quite minor is what had been keeping me sane as much as anything else.
i am a little nervous about getting back into working out after my off week just because this week i felt as busy as ever so i’m like, how will i fit it in… but numerically i worked about 38 and a half hours this week so not actually more than i had been, so i suppose i will work it out! (i am also nervous that i am coming down with a cold but luckily i am in fact prepped for tomorrow so i can snooze just about as long as i want & i took some zinc & emergen-c…. cross your fingers for me.) tomorrow i’m gonna watch my little brother defend his dissertation :) and later in the week a friend is in town who now lives abroad & i have a halloween party to attend! and now i am once again going to read flowers in the attic until i fall asleep (but this time in bed).
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