#than we could see more acceptance and understanding of trans identities in the school system.

[fins0up]

"unpopular opinion" (that should be popular): i think public schools should start teaching ab intersex people.

[kyndaris]

Stale Bread

Growing up, I've always hated how toys were divided between boys and girls. Especially given the limited number of things that were acceptable for girls to play with while boys would have multiple aisles filled with fun things like Lego, science experiments and action figures. Even back then, I hadn't much liked how interests could be so rigidly divded.

Nor did I like being relegated to wearing frumpy school dresses when part of the uniform was a shirt and shorts. In fact, it was a point of contention back in primary school with my mother. During one of the school photos, she had demanded I wear the dress rather than what I was comfortable with.

It should come as no surprise that I was considered a 'tomboy' in school.

But though films and movies would have you believe I'd finally figure out the secrets of make-up and try to dress to impress in order to snag myself a man by the time I hit university, this never happened. Putting on make-up forever remains a mystery. Yes, I understand it's socially expected that I be patting on a layer of foundation and giving my lips a touch of rouge, but it just feels completely antithetical to who I am as a person.

Why are women expected to powder themselves up to appeal to the not as fair sex? Why do we need to shave our legs and armpits? More than that, why was it fine for me to run around shirtless when I was a child but not socially acceptable now that my mammary glands have developed?

If women can't free the nip, and it's considered crass if the nodules can be seen through the shirt, then I'm voting for men to do the same. I don't need to men nips peeking through their thin shirts. Nor do I want to see their rolls of fat as they take their shirts off during a run. Especially if women can't do the same without it being seen as unseemly.

As the years have gone by and new labels have appeared, I did wonder if my antipathy towards gender stereotypes painted me as non-binary. I, certainly, wasn't the image of the typical woman with typical feminine interests and hobbies. But the more I thought on why such a label was required, the more I pushed against it.

The whole idea of the divide between 'masculine' and 'feminine' simply didn't make sense. And by choosing to be non-binary, I was also conforming to the idea that because I wasn't feminine enough, I had to straddle the line between the two. Even though I'd come to terms with the fact I'd never have a flat enough chest, and suffer through monthly bouts of menstruating (I also wanted to be taller and skinnier, but let's not go into beauty standards on this post).

Why couldn't I be who I was - a woman who liked video games, books and horses?

And though the idea of whether I might be trans did cross my mind, the years of being mistaken for a boy because of my unisex name further solidified my gender identity for me - but also because I didn't have significant body dysmorphia leading me to severe distress in terms of the body I had (although being more athletic and capable of doing backflips would have been a bonus. Unfortunately, I don't think science is at the stage to give me the ideal body I want). Besides, I can't have been the only one who has wondered what it might be like to be the opposite sex and the advantages that come with it.

On the other hand, biology is a strange beast. Yes, there are certain markers to differentiate males and females of a species, but none of it is universal. Female hyenas, after all, have more testosterone than their male counterparts. Male birds are more flamboyantly coloured to attract a mate.

Then, of course, if you throw in intersex individuals, the whole dichotomy between man and woman collapses in its entirety. After all, where do you put intersex people if the system is binary in nature?

From a dating perspective, meeting and chatting with people who have transitioned has certainly opened my eyes to a few things. And it's definitely been a different experience to dating cisgendered men and women.

While I have yet to actually go on a date with a trans woman, some of our chats have been quite productive as we strive to seek a connection on shared interests. True, one stopped chatting when Starfield released and pivoted their focus on the latest release from Bethesda, but the other was enthusiastic about pursuing new skills and hobbies.

Neither one of them led me to suspect this was all a means to 'threaten' or 'undermine' women. They were people simply living their lives in a way that best suited them.

And both of them were much easier to chat with than the trans man I did actually meet up with two weeks ago as of time of writing. For the sake of simplicity, though, I'll codename them Tip Top (because they're as bland as white bread).

From the outset, Tip Top was a difficult person to converse with. They seemed to have an obsession with pushing aside any type of heteronormative narrative when it came to how relationships formed - while still falling within the traps of what differentiates romance from friendship. They also liked to unnecessarily explain or clarify things. For example: danmei novels, which are essentially BL (boys love) by another name.

Then, of course, there was the way they pushed aside their cultural and ethnic heritage. While I understood they had issues with their family (something they implied in relation to their transition), it bothered me to no end how they also rejected almost anything relating to, as they described it, 'Western pop culture.' Which was one of the reasons why they disliked trivia or word-association board games.

It was a difficult thing to process. Especially given my two loves: Disney and the written word. I'm a veritable thesaurus with how much I read (and write)! To have someone target the very things I love in the first meeting, well, it dismayed me. A lot.

But it also made me wonder how much Tip Top actually engaged with the wider world.

As I've shown in my travel posts, I love engaging with the various cultures across the world. Truth, as is almost always the case, is stranger than fiction. The events that have shaped the trajectory of the world is fascinating. And seeing the world through the eyes of different people was the EXACT reason I fell in love with reading in the first place.

Given the limited time we have in the world, and the fixed perspective we have, it is eye-opening for me to see how others might interpret the world. So, knowing that Tip Top purposely closed themselves off, was a difficult pill to swallow.

Although, I can't say I was surprised.

In the past, I've known other people who, like Tip Top, seemed to have lived sheltered lives or who show no curiosity about the world they live in. All of their focus is turned inward, with many of their views coming off as narrow-minded. Especially when they espouse dogma they've, no doubt, taken from people around them rather than develop their own views.

It can even make them seem self-centred and entitled.

Perhaps, it was as Tip Top said, that they didn't have many friends in high school. And hadn't been keen to connect with anyone because they were only living 'half a life.' And yet, I'm sure there are certainly a lot of trans people out there who still managed to be socially engaging with those around them prior to taking hormones and/ or surgery.

In the end, our conversations stuttered over Sunday brunch as Tip Top only seemed interested in asking me shallow questions and then refusing to truly engage with any of my answers. Whereas I tried to coax out more about who they were as a person, focusing on what they said their hobbies were on their profile. A part of it, I felt, was their struggle with expressing their thoughts. For example, when I asked them to elaborate about a visual novel they were playing, they tried to hedge around many of the details. Even when I said I was fine about spoilers.

So many little things irked me about Tip Top.

Worse, I couldn't shake the similarities I found between them and a person I used to know, who, in a last update, identifies as a Caucasian man. While I can accept the fact they're trans (I introduced them to the concept of possibly being non-binary when we previously griped about the woes of being a woman), I take umbrage on the fact they're trying to claim an alternate racial identity. Especially as they were born, and look, East Asian.

But I digress.

This is about Tip Top and our rather lacklustre meet-up.

After we visited the bakery, for them to pick up a hojicha latte (although they were lactose-intolerant and also suffered a mild aversion to gluten), we walked around a nearby park before I bid them farewell.

It wasn't the worst meet up I'd been on but it certainly wasn't a good one either. And it makes me exhausted thinking about trawling through the disappointments to reach the diamond I'm hoping for. There is something to be said about being single. And yet, the more I age, and the more my friends go their separate ways, the more alone I'm starting to feel.

Maybe it truly is time for me to get a dog.

[artdadstuff]

Transgender First entry

Navigating the dual perspectives of the gender spectrum has gifted me a profound understanding that few ever encounter. Ultimately this experience has shaped my perspective for the better, giving me the ability to empathize more with others and have a stronger sense of self. While this unique insight enriches my worldview, it also unveils daunting challenges, often overshadowing the positives especially when it comes to getting an education. Some of the challenges we as trans individuals face that could impact our accessibility to college include struggling with familial rejection, financial uncertainty, and employer bias, all of these interlinked with each other. It is these hardships that often come as roadblocks for us trans individuals and our ability to successfully transition and prosper. 

  My revelation of being transgender at 16, met with a mixed response from my traditional Hispanic parents, revealed a reality starkly different from my expectations. Despite their disdain, they chose not to disown me, a privilege not shared by many in the transgender community. Too often, those who bravely come out at a young age face ostracization, homelessness, and a lack of familial support. This instability severely impedes their path to higher education. Stripped of a stable home and financial security, pursuing a degree becomes a herculean task. Due to my situation at home where my family struggled to understand my transition, I ultimately had to move away in order to further comfortably explore my own identity. My own venture into college away from home was riddled with challenges as I struggled to juggle work and studies, barely making ends meet financially.  

Affording college poses a universal concern, yet for transgender students, it magnifies into an overwhelming barrier. Securing a steady income becomes a privilege, elusive for many in the transgender community, especially those in mid-transition. Personal encounters with job rejections due to disclosing my transgender identity on applications, sans legal name or gender marker changes, have been disheartening. Interviews often mirrored confusion or surprise, my physical transition through hormone replacement therapy often confounding expectations. As a trans man, my journey contrasts starkly with that of trans women. Their physical transition may not seamlessly align, leading to dismissal by certain employers. This makes getting job opportunities even more difficult than it would be for the average student. This systemic bias obstructs transgender individuals from securing and sustaining employment opportunities that would in turn financially support their studies.

Another hurdle faced by the trans community when it concerns the accessibility of college is the personal challenges that come along with the process of transitioning. Battling body dysphoria, depression and anxiety at times can come in the way of completing one’s studies. In my situation, during my transition, I developed a severe depression while I was enrolled in college. A large part of that depression stemmed from my inability to cope with my body dysphoria, along with my inability to financially support myself through my schooling. Eventually I finished only two years of college before I went to see a therapist in order to get started on hormone replacement therapy.  This shows yet another consequence that comes with being transgender and a student. Transitioning brings along many health challenges that include mental illness, and at times that becomes too difficult to cope with. 

The hurdles faced by us transgender students in affording and approaching college intertwine with societal biases and systemic challenges. Familial rejection, financial instability, and employment discrimination form an intricate web hindering academic pursuits. The disparities between trans men and women in societal acceptance further compound these obstacles, magnifying the complexities of our journeys.

[yurimother]

LGBTQ Light Novel Review – I'm in Love with the Villainess Vol. 2

A Defining and Relentlessly Queer Work in the Next Era of Yuri

I have backed myself into a corner and see no way out of it. For I have already awarded Inori's I'm in Love with the Villainess a perfect 10/10 score for its stellar first outing. And then, upon seeing what Inori did in the second book, I regret my choice because I have no way to raise the bar on perfection as Inori did in her light novel. Indeed, it has taken me far too long to write this review. My mind is thoroughly exhausted after pondering what I read and accepting the honest truth: that that may very well become a defining work in the next generation of Yuri. For as much time as I spend diving into the Sapphic news of the day, I devote even more to looking to the next big movement of Yuri. If I'm in Love with the Villainess Vol. 2 is a signal of what Yuri's future holds, then we are entering an extraordinary queer era.

The story takes off shortly after the first book. At least for the moment, the commoner revolt is quelled, and Rae continues schooling alongside her beloved Claire. Storylines include a new transfer student rivaling Rae for Claire's affection and the girls going on vacation to visit their families. However, the story takes a pretty dramatic and welcome turn halfway through the book. Through a combination of luck and her expect negotiation tactics, a fruit of her intimate knowledge of Revolution's world and inhabitants, Rae is tasked with investigating corrupt nobles. This change allows Inori to take the world and characters further than in the previous book. While the first volume did an excellent job establishing the world inside the school, this entry ventures beyond the academy's borders into international relationships, the church's role and goals, and the dealings of various factions and political parties. It is appropriate progression and one that lends to the story's main arc well.

While all of these events occur, Rae continues her mission of protecting Claire from the inevitable new order. By the time the finale rolls around, it is so immensely satisfying to see all of her plans and strategies pay off. It carefully balances rewarding the reader's attention and keeping them engaged with new twists and revelations. As the story develops, Claire is exposed to more of the reality of common life through Rae and comes to appreciate her privilege and understand the realities of socioeconomic inequality, evolving from the arrogant young woman we initially met. This path has two effects on the story; first, it allows Inori to explore real-world economic disparity issues while still worldbuilding. Second, it ultimately continues the story of Rae's plan, as she wants Claire to be in the commoner's good graces.

These elements make for a fantastic story in a rich, developed fantasy world. However, I adore I'm in Love with the VIllainess not for its intricate magic system but because of the phenomenal LGBTQ+ representation. I was floored by a frank, open, and wonderfully thoughtful discussion of queer representation in the first volume. Few, if any, Yuri works have done anything similar, and it was honestly an inspiration for me, so much so that I awarded it a perfect score almost solely for that passage. However, Inori once again usurps her own throne, taking this forthright and deliberate queer content and turning it up to eleven!

It is almost easier to count the number of main characters not confirmed as members of the LGBTQ community. Figures big and small have their identities explored and revealed during this novel. Some began believing themselves to be straight and exploring their sexuality further. In contrast, others are comforted by Rae's fierce, outspoken, and brazen support and pride in her identity to come forward. One particular scene that comes to mind is when she scolds a pair of nuns for using religion to justify their homophobia. This moment was particularly satisfying to return to after the Catholic Church's recent disavowing of same-sex marriage.

The series even has a character struggling with gender dysphoria who is liberated from society's expectations thanks to a rather ingenious plan of Rae's and her friends, new and old. While not exactly an example of authentic transgender representation as we consider it, as the character's struggles with gender result from a magical curse, but the parallel is clear. Speaking of reality though, the volume grants some glimpses into Ohashi Rei's life, the woman that would one day wake up as Rae.

Rae's experiences with LGBTQ+ identity, set in the real world, are powerful and pull few punches. It is perhaps here that Inori gets most honest and tragic, as Rae painfully describing the ostracization and suffering faced by queer people, culminating in a trans man's suicide (the author thankfully does not describe the actual death). However, Inori balances this pain with the thrill and joy of discovery and accepting oneself, and finding kinship. It is writing that could only come from an author who had experienced these feelings herself, and they will be immediately understood and have a visceral effect on queer readers. I love these moments so much for their vulnerability and relatability. But my favorite part has to be the ending (skip to the final paragraph if you want to avoid spoilers and somehow have not seen the cover of Volume 3).

We finally come to the big queer happy homosexual ending, which is also gay, and my great Yuri goddess, it is perfect! After wading through a revolution and enough surprise revelation to last a lifetime, Claire and Rae settle down into their new life together. Although they cannot legally get married, despite their best efforts, they are absolutely wives. Their families support them, they love each other, and they even have kids! Yes, this unexpected and blissful development, the final gift of this volume, comes in the form of adopted children May and Aleah.

As I exclaimed upon the reveal of Vol. 3's cover, which features the mothers and children, "WE DID IT!! YURI FAMILY!! In Yuri, there are virtually NO stories about queer women raising a family with children together. It is a long dream of mine, the YuriMother, to promote such stories. To have one of the most profound and explicitly queer Yuri stories end in such a happy and new way brought me to happy tears. Except, this is not the end! There are two more volumes beyond this one that continue the story of Claire, Rae, and their children! There is even a very sweet and wonderfully sappy, tear-jerking, bonus chapter of the mother's bonding with the children and helping them recover from their traumatic past. And even become TEACHERS; I could just die happy in this Yuri paradise!

'We need to show we are prepared to live happily ever after, as a family of four. So, I swear to God: I will always love May, Aleah, and Rae.' When Claire said this, she broke out into a tremendous smile and I found myself once more overflowing with love for her. I held her close without saying anything.

Inori's I'm in Love with the Villainess Vol. 2 is precisely what an excellent sequel should be and everything I have ever wanted from a Yuri story. It appropriately raised the stakes in every way, expanding the world, flushing out its many factions and conflicts, and setting a new bar for queer representation and discussion in Yuri. Everything Inori writes feels so perfectly slotted together. Each set piece adds to the character development; each queer issue and identity showcased helps build towards the satisfying and exceptionally gay finale. It is a superlative weaving and integration of the priceless artifacts into an absolute masterclass of LGBTQ+ storytelling. I suspect that this is one of the opening works in Yuri's next era, and I cannot wait to see what follows.

Ratings: Story – 10 Characters – 10 Art – 4 LGBTQ – 10 Sexual Content – 2 Final – 10

Check out I'm in Love with the Villainess Vol. 2 digitally and in paperback today: https://amzn.to/39gE664

Review copy provided by Seven Seas Entertainment

My sincere thanks to Jenn Yamazaki, Nibedita Sen, E.M. Candon, and the rest of the team at Seven Seas Entertainment for translating and adapting this light novel.

[layercake]

Why Naoto is Heavily Trans Coded, and How The Discussion Surrounding Him Needs to Change

Hello, I’ve never written or posted anything like this before LOL so this is a bit daunting. But this subject is something that’s been bothering me for a long time, and I wanted to get it out somewhere. So let’s talk about how Naoto Shirogane is heavily trans coded, and how the fandom has a problematic culture surrounding the issue that really needs to change.

Tw // discussion of misogyny , transphobia , and mentions of harassment

Initial Shadow Confrontation 

Since the discussion is most often about what’s “canon” and what’s not, let’s first take a look at what the game actually does give us about Naoto’s character. During the confrontation with Naoto’s shadow, we learn that Naoto idolized detectives as a kid, and wanted to be one himself when he was older.

However, this posed a problem for him in multiple ways. One, he was (is) still a child, and the people in his field don’t take him seriously because of it. He tries desperately to escape this fact, to try and act as mature as possible, but ultimately he can’t change how others will perceive him at his age.

This is what the shadow confrontation focuses on most heavily. But then it switches to discussing the other part of the issue-- the fact that Naoto’s ideal image of a detective is a man, and he “isn’t.” 

At the end, Yukiko says “You must know already that what you yearn for isn’t to become an adult or to become a boy,” and Naoto accepts it. This is what most people point to when saying that Naoto can’t be trans, because he agrees that it wasn’t what he wished for. So, easy, right? If you take this as him telling the truth, then it looks like an open and shut case-- he isn’t trans. But Naoto’s actions don’t really fit what he says here. 

The issue starts with these next lines (below) in particular. To me, Naoto’s tone in the first line is regretful, and doesn’t strike me as a sentiment someone who is cisgender would necessarily hold. Why would he want to “change into a man?” To fit his ideal image of a detective? As he says here, yes.

(Real quick before I continue, it’s not clear in the dialogue screenshot but it’s important to note that Naoto does say “yes” to Yukiko’s question about him not liking being a girl. He nods his head)

The narrative that the game tries to go with after this is that the “ideal image” Naoto wanted to live up to, including the male aspect of it, was unattainable and formed primarily because he felt that was the only way he could be a detective. 

But, is this really that much of a problem? We all look up to certain types of people, people that we want to be like-- and for many, this can factor into gender identity as well. If Naoto really just wanted to be a cool, male detective, that doesn’t at all negate that being trans would be a part of that for him. 

Naoto’s other words and actions, as well as the framing of this scene as a whole, make the scenario feel a lot less believable to me for multiple reasons. Naoto never initiates the conversation that him wanting to be a boy is incorrect-- Yukiko does. Naoto isn’t even the one to trigger his shadow-- Kanji does that. Naoto had a lot less agency in a lot of these decisions than the other characters did with their shadows. 

Naoto’s Continued Actions

The fragility of the narrative Atlus put together for Naoto continues to grow throughout the rest of the game, due to the way he behaves after the initial shadow confrontation.

For starters, it’s implied that Naoto is not his birth name, something that i think a lot of people either miss or forget about-- and yet he continues to go by it throughout the course of the game. We never find out his deadname and he never expresses a desire to share it with anybody.

The day after the “reveal,” Naoto doesn’t change anything about his appearance, mannerisms, or how he presents himself. He honestly seems uncomfortable with the fact that everyone has found out, in a way that felt much like being outed to the whole school, as opposed to finally being seen and accepted for who you “really” are.

I understand that such a drastic shift in people’s perception of you would be overwhelming to anybody, no matter if you were cis or not. But if Atlus really wanted to hone in on the idea that Naoto was happy about this change, they could’ve at least made him…. Well, happy about it. Even if it was just a small smile, just a tiny indication of relief even despite how hard it will be to adjust, it would’ve made it at least a little more believable that this is what he really wanted.

But that’s not the case. Instead, he’s uncomfortable, he still binds, he still wears the school’s male uniform, and he still goes by Naoto. The only time any of this actually changes is if you as the protagonist push him to, which… is a whole other mess.

The fact that Naoto has even gotten to this point, though, speaks more volumes to me than anything else. Passing is not easy. Coming out is not easy. Naoto would have had to go through difficult lengths in order to get not only his school, but the country and media to see him as a man.  He’s a well-known "detective prince".. someone was bound to look up his records and find out about it. That's a huge risk to take.

In addition to this, he binds. He goes by masculine pronouns and a masculine name. He very audibly changes his voice to be more masculine. I don’t know how to tell you this, but this is just…. not something cis people do? At least not comfortably. 

In fact, doing all of this would have been incredibly uncomfortable for Naoto if he was cis. As someone who experiences dysphoria, looking like and being seen as a gender you are not can be really, really painful. If transitioning was something he really didn’t want, why would he put himself through all of that? Was it really to escape misogyny? Me asking this isn’t minimizing the issue at all, because I understand that it’s incredibly serious and hard for countless women. But I would generally think someone’s first reaction to facing misogyny isn’t to… completely change their identity and present as a different gender.

On top of being probably the hardest option of escaping misogyny available to him, and one of the most uncomfortable, presenting as a man doesn’t necessarily get rid of any prejudices Naoto may face. In fact, I would argue that it’s considerably more dangerous. Especially in a rural town like Inaba, where people seem to not really understand or approve of being LGBT. Naoto is smart, he would have thought of all of this. So why?

Inherent Transphobia of Naoto’s Arc 

There is something to be said about how much misogyny is present in Japan’s workforce, especially in fields like Naoto’s, and the importance there is in discussing that. The base idea behind his struggles and message isn’t inherently a bad one, but the way the game went about it was problematic because it put down transgender identities in the process.

The first time I watched Naoto’s shadow confrontation, it was really distressing to me. The game continuously repeats the idea that you can’t “cross the barrier of the sexes,” that Naoto “can never really be a man,” and  that “you can change your name, but you can never change who you “really” are.” I hope I don’t need to explain why this is a problem.

Naoto’s wish to be a man, regardless of what was driving it, is depicted as something temporary and childish. Something that Naoto “didn’t really want,”  something that was just an excuse to run away from the misogyny he was facing. Even if it was unintentional, this message is incredibly harmful to transgender people.

It would have been a better and much more coherent message about misogyny if the writers had steered clear of trans themes entirely. In fact, I think they did so well with Sae’s character in Persona 5-- she’s in the same field of work, facing very similar struggles, but she doesn’t react in the same way as Naoto at all. 

Kanji and Homophobia 

It’s even worse that Naoto’s “reveal,” on top of being problematic by itself, is used as a method to bury Kanji’s exploration of his own sexuality. The problems with Kanji’s own shadow are bad enough to warrant their own long rant, but the reveal that Naoto was “really a girl” this whole time allows the story to completely wave off his gayness for good.

This isn’t something unique to this game-- the trope of “two boys fall in love, but one of them turns out to be a girl so it’s fine” has been used numerous times in other media to explore the topic half-assedly. It plays with the “exoticness” or “drama” of a gay romance, but backs off at the end in order to uphold societal norms and prevent backlash. 

This doesn’t really give any kind of good commentary on gay relationships, nor does it depict them in a positive or helpful manner. It isn’t something that these games should be getting kudos for doing. 

Misogyny?

I think there’s also something to be said about how poignantly bad Atlus is at really tackling the problem of misogyny. It tries, especially with characters like Ann and Sae, and in certain aspects it can succeed. But then they have scenes like the pageant and Every Beach Scene Ever, where the women are forced to wear swimsuits or revealing clothing against their will, or their bodies are talked about without their consent. There is consistently a character in each persona game who is forced to do the whole misogynistic dipshit gimmick that’s supposed to be funny-- Junpei, Yosuke, Teddie, Morgana, Ryuji-- and while this is obviously not a Persona specific problem by a longshot, it’s still indicative of how unsuccessful these games often are in delivering the message that society’s systemic misogyny is an issue.

This is something I think about a lot when people try and argue that Naoto’s story can’t be about him being trans because it’s “an important message about misogyny.” Atlus often doesn’t deliver on such stories already, and they certainly didn’t with Naoto. As soon as Naoto returns to “living as a woman” he’s subjected to the same misogyny that the other girls are. His chest is commented on, he’s forced to be in the beauty pageant, he’s made uncomfortable in the bath scenes-- really, all Atlus did after the reveal was make the problem worse for him. 

On top of this, his story never actually meaningfully tackles the problem of misogyny in the detective force. It’s not a major part of his social link or the general plot of the game-- honestly, it’s barely even touched on at all after the initial confrontation. Thus, the idea that “Naoto can’t be trans because it erases a story about misogyny” is just plain untrue. There never was a coherent one in the first place.

Problems Within the Fandom

Despite all of this, there is such an intense backlash from the majority of the fandom if anybody dares to bring up these issues with Naoto’s story. Naoto being trans is generally seen as something ridiculous and stupid, or something to insult and mock people for.

I understand that there's always going to be people who say provocative stuff like this, no matter what anyone does, and that it’s not something exclusive to this particular fandom or character. But the problem is that this rhetoric isn't just from them anymore--the consensus among so much of the fandom seems to be either that Naoto absolutely cannot be trans, or that speaking about it at all is "annoying discourse" and taboo. Even from fans that are LGBT or allies themselves. 

This in and of itself is such a telling thing to me. if you find yourself getting angry about the subject, really ask yourself why. Is it such a problem for people to reclaim a transphobic story? Is it such a problem for a character to be trans in the first place?  There is room for discussion and nuance regarding this situation, but we have to make it for ourselves. We can accept that Atlus’s base game will never actually give us a coherent story about either misogyny nor being transgender with Naoto’s story. But petty arguments and insults thrown at people who bring up this topic isn’t any of that-- it’s just poorly masked transphobia. 

So at the end of the day, no, Naoto being is trans is not “canon.” Of course Naoto would not actually be allowed to be trans, he is a main character in a game series where the only explicitly LGBT characters have been consistently buried, stereotyped, or demonized with only a few rare exceptions.

Yes, you’re allowed to headcanon whatever you want about him. I can’t stop you from wanting a story about misogyny, or from seeing Naoto’s gender as something more fluid than I do. But you can’t ignore the fact that his story, as written in canon, is laden with transphobia despite its intentions. It’s not a ridiculous or harmful thing for trans people to want to reclaim that.

There are still a lot more issues with how Naoto is treated in the game-- especially in his romance route-- but that’s a whole other can of worms I’m not ready to unpack today lol

Hopefully all of this made sense though, and feel free to bring up anything else I may have missed or point out any issues you might have with it :-) Thanks for reading!

[nagitokomaedapizzasuitarchive]

[Class 78 Komaru Request]

[[ @meemeeblueberry777​​ - request ]]

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You’re welcome!! Thems my comfort gals and I’m just here to put out the content they deserve made of ‘em.

I’m really contemplating taking fic requests, as I could use the fuel, but I’ll have to see. School’s currently being really hard on my mental health rn so I shouldn’t jump into it otherwise I’ll have a backlog I have to get through like I do with the few requests I’ve gotten now. (And taking as long as I have on this proves I'll probably have to wait before taking anything.)

I’ve never done an imagines/ headcanons list, but let’s give it a shot..! ;)

(This actually ended up being REALLY long so I’m adding a read more break.)

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Order:

>Komaru Herself >Tokomaru >Shomaru

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Class 78 Komaru

In this AU, she would be Makoto’s twin. She would also have been scouted for her abilities with ghosts.

She’s around Makoto a lot, but does make friends with a few of their peers. She, Makoto, Aoi, Kyoko, and Sayaka end up making up a friend group together.

She isn't anything special in class. She actually has to lean on Kyoko/ Toko for some tutoring.

Sometimes she is possessed by ghosts trying to mess with the living, and it freaks everyone out. It doesn't happen often, but it still makes her learn how to keep spirits from just being able to possess her.

Komaru has slapped Byakuya. I don't make the rules.

Within the Killing Game, she would definitely lean on Makoto for support really early on, especially since she would remember arriving with him and vice versa, but she would eventually open up to the others again.

Her ghost abilities don't actually end up lending much help to investigations. Junko was aware of them beforehand, so measures were taken to make sure ghosts have a hard time reaching her. She mostly just feels their presence instead.

Closer to the final trial (trial 6), however, she actually is reached by Mukuro. Their connection is short and brief and mostly just freaks the others out. (Though it is still some help.)

Tokomaru

Despite Toko not being the closest to Makoto, the two of them met through him. They didn’t fully click at first, Toko pushing back from any idea of friendship between them, but Komaru was persistent. They grow close quickly once Toko lets her walls down.

Toko is very open about her fantasies as we can see in UDG canon, but actually does back it off as she notices it makes Komaru genuinely uncomfortable.

Early on in their friendship, Komaru develops a crush on Toko. She doesn’t really confess her feelings, but as their friendship goes on it motivates her to come out to Toko.

Unknown to Komaru, however, Toko actually does begin to reciprocate. Issue being: Toko knows barely anything about LGBT identities and isn’t even aware there’s more identities than just lesbian/ gay/ trans.

Toko never formally comes out to Komaru, both knowing her question was indication enough of her orientation.

“Yeah?”

“Y-You know about b-being LGBT, K-Komaru.”

“W-Well, lets s-say someone already kn-knows they’re attracted t-to one gender. B-But they r-realize they could b-be attracted to another. C-Can that happen?”

“That’s being bisexual, Toki. Or pansexual, depending on how you choose to identify.”

“Th-Thanks.”

It doesn’t take long after for Toko to confess, to the shock of Komaru, who was still under the impression that Toko was still interested in Byakuya. Despite the shock, they quickly start dating.

In public they still keep their interactions seemingly platonic, with both of them choosing remain closeted for their safety. The only ones who they let know are Makoto and a select few trusted friends of Komaru.

They actually sleep over at each other’s dorms frequently, much to the annoyance of Kiyotaka. Typically it’s Toko coming over to sleep in Komaru’s dorm.

In private, they have very physically affectionate behaviors.

Screw any level of "Makoto is concerned at first", he's fully supportive from day one. He's been aware of Toko's system and knows Sho has calmed down. He's even happy knowing they would be there to protect his sister.

This will get obscenely long if I go to include bullets about Killing Game Tokomaru; but I'm actually doing fics to an AU concept I have similar to this (when I have motivation) so [I'll link that here.]

Shomaru

It was actually Sho’s fault their system fell for Komaru. <3

Through their times having to pretend to be Toko, they were (pleasantly) shocked by how nice Komaru was to them.

Obviously, Komaru catches on quickly that, hey, something isn’t right. And so Sho has to let her know of their status as a system (because clearly Toko wasn’t going to).

Komaru is actually very accepting. While not fully understanding at first, she’s quick to learn and correct herself.

Sho is a based bisexual enby (I, once again, do not make the rules) so it is easy for them to accept they have feelings for Komaru. They actually fully come out to Komaru fast.

Sho is actually aggressively protective of Komaru, still dealing with the “kill to protect myself/ my system” mindset and subconsciously adding Komaru to the protect list. Komaru helps them kick the mindset however and have them calm down.

After dating, it is very very apparent how clingy Sho gets. Despite Toko and Komaru still trying to keep physical contact to a minimum, whenever Sho fronts they’re wrapped around at least one part of her body. Luckily they’re aware to keep it easily mistakable as platonic.

When the Killing Game starts, Sho hates being the only one to remember their relationship. That, along with the feelings for Byakuya resurfacing with a basically reverted Toko, causes her a lot of distress.

Though when they’re finally able to front as their own person, they’re once again extremely protective of Komaru. The nerves of trying to survive the Killing Game with their love, it’s enough to resurface the “kill to protect/ survive” mindset that plagued them earlier in life.

[comrade-meow]

Bad data generates bad research; bad research generates bad treatments; bad treatments generate bad outcomes. The physiological differences between males and females are vast, and stamp their mark on every organ of the human body, not just the genitals and gonads. Ignoring these differences will muddle our data, blur our understanding of physiology, and hinder the discovery of new treatments for diseases. Females are much more likely than males to have autoimmune disorders. Males are more likely than females to develop Parkinson’s disease. Males and females may present with different symptoms preceding a heart attack. Males and females metabolize drugs differently. Blatantly ignoring sex as a variable hobbles the process of scientific inquiry and limits the types of questions that researchers will ask, thereby limiting the answers they get.

About this story: last November I came across some anonymous tweets from a person claiming to be a medical student at an American university where professors were teaching that sex is a social construct. I decided to try to find out if these claims were real, and I contacted the Twitter user, striking up a conversation with “C”. We agreed to meet on a Zoom call, and that C would show me C’s student ID, with their name and the name of the school covered, and that we would then do a written interview. C’s desire for strict anonymity is well founded in my eyes, due to the damage that could be inflicted on C’s career prospects if they were caught speaking to a publication about the ideological lies being peddled and the culture of fear at their institution.

On our thirty minute Zoom call, I met a highly intelligent, critical-minded, and determined young person who was expressing deep concern over the ways that gender identity ideology is distorting the teaching of medicine and the repercussions this may lead to in our next generation of doctors.

C held up their ID so I could see their picture on what was clearly a medical school ID. C told me their school can be categorized as “top tier.”

The irony of using “they/them” pronouns for a single person is not lost on me. I find it interesting that due to the tyranny of gender ideology, I must adhere to one of their tenets and accept the use of the plural pronoun for a single person whose sex I know. But the fact that I have to do this is because any information about C could potentially be enough to raise suspicion (just read their words to understand the climate of intimidation they witness in class everyday), and the knowledge of an individual’s sex is still a crucial identifying feature, no matter what the gender ideologues want us to believe.

C and I agreed that I would offer people on Twitter an opportunity to pose their questions directly and that C would respond in written form. Out of the many responses, the medical student chose what they considered some of the most representative and important of the questions. These are their answers below, beginning with a short message they wanted me to share.

-Sasha White

Thank you, Sasha, for having offered me this valuable opportunity to answer these questions. Before we start, I would like to clarify my stance on basic issues regarding sex and gender identity, so that people can keep these in mind while reading.

Biological sex is not a social construct – male and female are distinct material realities which have significant implications for medical and surgical treatment of many different conditions. These physiological differences are relevant on the levels of clinical practice, research, and policy, and absolutely must be acknowledged in order for physicians to best treat their patients. All patients should be treated with compassion, respect, and high-quality medical care, regardless of their professed gender identity. I remain agnostic as to what it truly means to have a “gender identity”, but will respect the wishes of my future patients in regards to their social presentation and pronouns. I believe that dysphoric adults should be able to pursue transition. Physicians should be aware of relevant aspects of trans healthcare, including hormone therapy and surgery, so that they can better advise trans patients on how medical treatments may impact their gender-related care, or vice versa. It is possible and desirable for us to have a healthcare system which is inclusive and respectful of transgender patients, in a way which does not pretend that biology is arbitrary or merely a social construct. Despite my liberal beliefs, the loudest voices at my institution would falsely accuse me of blowing transphobic dog-whistles, hence my anonymity. This hostile climate is corrosive to an inquiry mindset and critical thinking, and will ultimately be a disservice to the scientific community and to future patients, trans and otherwise.

IDD64 @IDD64 asks: “What happened to “nobody’s saying sex isn’t real”?”

This is actually what compelled me to speak out about this practice in the first place. Well-intentioned non-medical people often assume that medical schools are teaching something like, “Gender identity can be fluid and varied, but biological sex is real, binary, and relevant in medical contexts.” This idea is around five years out of date in the most progressive of institutions. I have been told multiple times in several classes that biological sex is a social construct – not just gender. Granted, I can speak only for my institution, but this change has been frustrating and disturbing to witness.

Robert Woolley @RandomlyBob asks: “Do any of the required textbooks also avoid using those words? If not, might you ask those professors if they think the books are either inaccurate or offensive?”

Our curriculum is constantly subject to revision. Around two-thirds of our written materials have been updated with this new language. For the one-third that has remained out-of-date, our class has received multiple apologetic, itemized emails from course instructors in which they provide corrections, beg for forgiveness and patience, and avow to “do better”. In class, we have been given multiple histories in which the patient’s sex has been deleted, even for cases involving disorders which can manifest differently between the sexes. The words “female” and “male” are being erased and replaced.

Born a space baby @ggynoid asks: “What’s the dynamic like for class participation? Do people start with pronouns? Do people tend to agree, disagree? What’s the female-male ratio in the class typically on these sort[s] of classes?”

When school first began, we were heavily encouraged to include pronouns in our Zoom names and email signatures; around 70-80% of the class did so. Most students and professors would start off verbal introductions with their name and pronouns, though that has subsided since we all have grown to know each other.

A vocal minority of students are loudly in favor of the most extreme aspects of gender ideology, while the majority seem to be vaguely supportive in a nonspecific way. I think that this comes from a mixture of naive goodwill and fear – they are trying to be good allies, and this is the only way they know how. Additionally, it is heavily implied that to ask critical questions, even in a way which is ultimately patient-centered and supportive, is perpetuating bigotry, so they just nod along. A silent minority seems to be secretly skeptical. I have met four or five students who have disclosed to me in private conversation that they disagree with one or more aspects of this dogma but they are hesitant to come forward in group settings. I am sure that more exist, but they are hard to find. None of these people have been transphobic.

The female-male ratio is approximately equal, with slightly more females than males in my class.

David Poole @MrDPoole asks: “Do you think the people telling you these things actually believe it or are they being forced to do it?”

I think that a very small minority of our professors actually believe that male and female bodies are interchangeable with the exception of genitalia and gonads. There are definitely more woke students than woke professors, and the most radical of students are far more radical than the wokest professor. Most of these professors are very fearful of saying the wrong thing, so they delicately couch their language by referring to “XX and XY people” or other such euphemisms, even though that can lead to inaccuracies.

The social consequences for misspeaking are highly magnified, especially when most classes are delivered online (due to the pandemic). Our class has been quietly accused of having a mean streak in regards to social justice. We have had petitions circulated (drafted by few, signed by many) to name, shame, and “hold accountable” various lecturers who used the “wrong” language, to the point of humiliation. One professor broke down crying after a genetics lecture which relied heavily on the use of “male” and “female” by necessity. (Though the lecture also made ample space to talk about transgender and non-binary individuals, this was not enough to appease the critics.) Another professor referred to “pregnant women” rather than “pregnant people” and spent a very uncomfortable few minutes after class abjectly apologizing for having caused offense “by implying that only women can get pregnant”. It was incredibly disturbing to see, for multiple reasons. One, this is based on bad science and zealotry that has the potential to harm patients. Two, the magnitude of the “crime” pales in comparison to the magnitude of the outcry. Three, it is a total inversion of the expected social order to see these physicians —some of whom are literally leading scholars in their field— be reduced to fearful puddles if a student so much as looks at them askance. Keep in mind that these professors are extremely liberal, compassionate, and well-meaning, yet they are turned upon with such venom and verve by the people who they are trying to please.

Chopper @RodeoChopper asks: How are cases presented? Normally the first line is “This is a such and such year old (male/female) with a past medical history significant for…”

Here are some examples of formats I have seen in our coursework:

“This is a 43-year-old woman with ovaries, presenting with …”

“A 3-year-old child, assigned male at birth, not assigned gender as of yet by parents, presenting with …”

“This patient is a 7-year-old child, gendered as a boy by his parents, who …”

“57-year-old woman with testes, here with …”

“A 16-year-old patient (gender non-binary, pronouns they/them) …”

“A 32-year-old woman (she/her/hers) …”

“A 16-year-old patient presents with complaints of …”

Of the myriad problems with this structure, the most concerning is that most of these cases do not accurately identify the sex of the patient, which is crucial in being able to weigh the likelihood of potential diagnoses and treatments. A person’s pronouns are not relevant when deciding to prescribe a particular antibiotic, and at which dose. Additionally, I find it somewhat irritating to be expected to state the obvious for things that are the default of the human experience. We do not say, “This is a 42-year-old woman with both her arms and legs”, although there are certainly women in this world who are missing one or more of their limbs.

MaryWrath @WrathMary asks: “So how are reproductively different bodies described then? How are cardiac arrest and stroke symptoms described, explained and taught as we know now they present differently across the two sexes? There are clearly two bodies in our species so how are the professors acknowledging?”

Organs are referred to by their actual names – penis, testes, vagina, ovaries, breasts. However, referring to patients as male or female is strictly taboo. If there are relevant but subtle sex-specific differences, then they will often be downplayed or ignored altogether. As an example, we were told that the higher risk of heart attacks in men was due only to the presence of testosterone, and not for any other reason, which is patently false. When the differences are utterly impossible to ignore, “male” and “female” will simply be rebranded as “people with testes/ovaries”, “AMAB/AFAB”, or “people with/without Y chromosomes”. My personal favorite is “persons with [testosterone/estrogen] as their primary sex hormone.” Oddly, “man” and “woman” are still used, often with redundant qualifiers (“56-year-old man with testes”).

thames pilgrim @thames_pilgrim asks: “What are the most dangerous medical implications for turning a blind eye to someone’s sex due to a belief that talking about “male” and “female” might offend?”

This is a very important question which should be addressed at the following interrelated levels: clinical practice, research, and public policy.

Clinical practice: Transgender patients who do not disclose their birth sex might be at risk for improper medical treatment. (I have seen a natal female person who identified as a nonbinary man, be suspected of having testicular torsion; this person did not disclose their sex to the physician, which resulted in a delay in their care). Out of fear of being branded transphobic, physicians may not accurately and completely inform trans patients about their sex-specific risk for certain medical conditions. And for all patients, if a poorly-educated doctor is unaware as to how disorders manifest differently between the sexes, then patients can be harmed through the failure to rapidly and accurately diagnose and treat their medical conditions.

Research: Bad data generates bad research; bad research generates bad treatments; bad treatments generate bad outcomes. The physiological differences between males and females are vast, and stamp their mark on every organ of the human body, not just the genitals and gonads. Ignoring these differences will muddle our data, blur our understanding of physiology, and hinder the discovery of new treatments for diseases. Females are much more likely than males to have autoimmune disorders. Males are more likely than females to develop Parkinson’s disease. Males and females may present with different symptoms preceding a heart attack. Males and females metabolize drugs differently. Blatantly ignoring sex as a variable hobbles the process of scientific inquiry and limits the types of questions that researchers will ask, thereby limiting the answers they get.

Policy: Patients who are not transgender may be misled by “inclusive” educational materials and miss out on crucial preventative care. This is especially impactful in women’s health; whether due to language barrier, subpar sex education, or cultural taboo, not every woman will even know that she has a cervix, but she will know that she is female. Additionally, recommendations made by professional medical associations are widely used in clinical practice; if these guidelines are generated based on faulty data, this could negatively impact patients on a wider scale.

However, the most pernicious of possible harms is not the denial of sex; rather, the denial of sex is just one manifestation of a greater problem, which is the corrosion of critical thinking itself. Whatever you call it – this postmodern poison, the triumph of dogma over data – it is fundamentally incompatible with critical thinking, the most powerful all-purpose tool a physician has at his or her disposal. Starting with a conclusion and working backwards, all while twisting the data to fit a narrative, strikes me as more religious than scientific.

Marjorie Hutchins @leakylike asks: “Part of being a doctor is taking on ethical & safeguarding responsibilities[.] Why aren’t medical students challenging something which [could] have health implications for patients?”

Our positions as students are precarious, especially if one is labeled as being on the wrong side of history. Consequences for speaking out can include shunning, being anonymously reported to the school for “remediation”, being informally blacklisted from research and leadership opportunities, and potentially expulsion. Until I have earned my degree and have completed residency, I need to remain anonymous. To do otherwise would be to kill my career before it has even begun, which would also limit my ability to help many more patients in the future.

Although I am very biased, I think it should be on the onus of administration and our tenured professors to stand up against this madness, rather than on lone students to publicly put themselves at risk of debt and ruin. For now, I resist in the small ways that I can; I wish to do so more publicly when I am more secure.

[nothorses]

I swear I get a headache trying to figure out what "Male privilege" actually is and what specific "privileges" trans men get besides the whole passing as cis/being stealth thing (which is uncommon and hard to obtain since there's no/pre hrt/surgery trans men, also bipoc/poor/disabled/gnc etc trans men) every non trans men throws at us. literally no where have I seen someone put out a list of privileges we have regarding *gender only*, I would really love see it tbh a whole ass list

even examining myself of what "male privileges" I have is basically 0, I'm androgynous and present masc, pre everything and even when I dont talk everyone sees me as a cis woman who's masculine, I never get a sir or he/him by strangers or family and comparing that to my CIS brother, he has 1,000x more privileges than me even when we're the same gender! so, would love to be informed on which magical "privileges" I'm actually getting 🙄 (sorry for the rant btw, I'm tired of ppls stupid transphobia against trans men everywhere)

Yeah, absolutely! The whole concept is just entirely removed from reality.

Like, I spent 22 years being seen as and treated as a woman by everyone in my life. There are skills I’ve never learned, opportunities I’ve been denied, life paths I have been pushed toward, interests and hobbies I have been gatekept from, all because of this.

I have to wonder what I’d be studying right now if I’d been cis; would I still be going into childcare and education, if people hadn’t thought I was a girl for so long?

Those things don’t go away just because I realized I wasn’t a woman after all. They don’t go away once I transition; really, I get more shit for it, because now I’m in an awkward stage where I’m obviously not cis at all to everyone except, like, strangers who I never speak to again.

So, what, I get “male privilege” once I fully transition and can pass? What about my family, my friends, professors and bosses and coworkers (references!) who knew me pre-transition? What about 23+ years of distinctly not passing? What about if I don’t want to go stealth? Because I don’t! I’m going to be a high school teacher; I want my students to know who I am and that I’m proud of it.

And that’s just me. I’ve decided that I don’t want to live my life in another closet because that’s the right choice for me, and I know that’s going to come at a cost. Nearly everyone who knows me will know I’m trans, and many will struggle to think of me as a man- if they try at all.

People who do decide to go stealth- an incredibly valid decision- are in constant danger of being outed, and facing backlash for every cis person who feels “lied to” and takes it out on them. If you have to stay closeted and keep your identity a secret from everyone in your life in order to gain access to a kind of privilege, that’s not privilege.

I get the counterargument; trans women experience misogyny, so trans men must not, otherwise the TERFs win. But why are we letting TERFs make the rules for this argument? Why do we just accept that TERFs know more about how the patriarchy works than trans people, who spend their lives crossing boundaries and existing in spaces within it that cis people will never understand?

The patriarchy oppresses as many people as it possibly can, because that leaves more power for the select few at the top. It punishes all gender role deviance, and all acts of rebellion to its systems.

It doesn’t really see trans women as men, and it sure as hell doesn’t see trans men as men, because “man” is a special social class reserved only for those the patriarchy approves of. There’s a reason even cis men are pressured to conform to such incredibly high standards in order to be acknowledged as “real men”.

It’s an argument based entirely in theory, completely uprooted from the reality that, if people listened, transmascs could shed some really interesting light on.

[gettin-bi-bi-bi]

1) Hi, I'm female in my 30s, married, and a mother. One of my friends here on tumblr saw my posts where I say how confused I am about my sexuality and gender and she gave me advice to send you a message. I figured there is something "unusual" about me only when I was 23, and I feel very lost in the forest of possible identities when trying to figure out how I feel like. I never asked anyone about it because I don't feel like I'm dysphoric enough to be taken seriously either.

2) I expressed a wish to be a boy when I was around 5, and I used to dream about being one, the focus was mostly on having a penis, so to speak. I was always tomboyish and threw tantrums when my mother insisted on me wearing girly clothes/skirts. I even went as far as hiding pants and shirts outside and then changing clothes on my way to school. I always fought about it with her and felt violated when forced to wear girly clothes. However, when I entered puberty, I didn't experience

3) issues with it. It happened, and I accepted it. That doesn't mean I liked my body. I hate having tits, I don't even look at them and I never even looked at my vagina. I am repulsed by it. I am attracted to men and I like sex, however, I am completely unable to achieve orgasm. I can only do it on my own, and when I imagine myself as a man. (Usually , in fantasies, I take the role of the man I am attracted to)- I've heard it is called autoandrophilia but then got even more confused

4) because it "doesn't exist"? I always have the feeling like I should shut up and stop being a special snowflake because others have it way worse than me. It doesn't make me suicidal or particularly depressed, I've learned to live like this, I just feel unhappy about myself being a woman in general, because I don't feel like one. I know you're not my shrink but I'd appreciate if you could at least point me in the right direction.  

Hi there anon. I know things never seem “enough” when we are in the thick of it all, and everyone else seems so much “more” than us. It sounds a lot like you are a transgender man aka someone who is assigned female at birth but whose gender identity is male.  You don’t use the term transgender here though so if you want to read more about it here is the wiki which has a lot of good information: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Transgender 

If you are familiar with trans identity but don’t feel like you have enough “dysphoria” to really be trans (which is a very common feeling, and one that I have felt and sometimes still feel insecure about) - you don’t need to have dysphoria to be trans, if you are happier as another gender, that’s what really counts. However, it does sound from what you’re describing is that you do have some pretty significant gender dysphoria. I am not sure from what part of the world you are from, but I’m American and so know best the definition of gender dysphoria in the DSM (what we use to describe psychiatric disorders, although being trans is NOT a disorder, our system still requires us to get verification from psychologists unfortunately) as at least two of the following criteria being experienced for 6 months or longer:

A strong desire to be of a gender other than one's assigned gender

A strong desire to be treated as a gender other than one's assigned gender

A significant incongruence between one's experienced or expressed gender and one's sexual characteristics 

A strong desire for the sexual characteristics of a gender other than one's assigned gender

A strong desire to be rid of one's sexual characteristics due to incongruence with one's experienced or expressed gender

A strong conviction that one has the typical reactions and feelings of a gender other than one's assigned gender

This is from the Wikipedia on gender dysphoria, which you can read in full here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_dysphoria 

But like you said I am not your therapist or “shrink” so of course I cannot diagnose you or anything. Ultimately no one can say whether or not you are transgender except yourself. It can definitely be a difficult and scary thing to say, sometimes even to ourselves. But please know that many trans people don’t transition until later in life. Caitlyn Jenner didn’t come out as a trans woman until she was 66: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Caitlyn_Jenner There are also plenty of parents who transition as well, including instances where both parent and child transition together: https://narratively.com/my-mother-and-i-went-through-gender-transitions-at-the-same-time/ (these stories always just get me in my emotions personally haha) All I mean to say is....it’s not “too late” or anything. Even if you have tried to just live your life and are seeming to get by okay, that doesn’t mean you’re just a cisgender woman being a “special snowflake”. Transphobia is real and scary. It makes living as you are seem okay because the alternative seems way too difficult and so much worse. But I will say that, as a trans man who transitioned age 21 and felt that way prior....living as a man now feels like night and day to me. I didn’t even know I could be this happy. So just know it isn’t out of your reach and you absolutely deserve to feel happy and like your true self. 

Lastly too I will say that trans men absolutely can be attracted to other men and that’s okay. The term you mentioned “autoandrophilia” isn’t real because it was created by transphobic people trying to invalidate trans people, especially queer trans people. They define it as “a straight woman who fetishizes gay men so much she thinks she wants to be one” rather than understand that we’re just trans men whose attraction includes men. It’s an exceptionally cruel way of invalidating both people’s gender and sexual identities. So trans people say that’s not a real thing, we’re not fetishizing because this is really who we are. 

This is getting to be extremely long BUT I hope that all of this makes sense and is helpful for you. I would recommend to see a gender therapist if you have access to that. (They should be someone helpful and who believes you in your experiences, not somebody who is trying to force you to stay as you are or tell you what is best for you.) But whatever you decide is okay. Like I said ultimately you are the only person who can say what your identity is for certain and decide what to do. 

Much love, 

Wes

[my-darling-boy]

SO I’ve been getting people in my inbox asking me if I could explain the struggles of being trans. Obviously I’m willing to educate but there’s a LOT to unpack on understanding that, so to narrow it down, I’ll list things I or some trans people close to me have gone through to give you an idea of the difficulties. I obviously don’t speak for all trans people but as a trans man myself, I have Been Through Some Things

//Rape mention, self harm mention, suicide mention//

•When I came out at 14, I lost all my friends aside from one. I was bullied extensively behind my back. I was dragged to church by my friends who wanted to cleanse me of my “sin”

•I was the only out trans man in my entire school of 2000 students. I knew zero trans people. Everything I had to learn as a kid about being trans was done so entirely by myself. Additionally, the school’s Gay-Straight-Alliance Club kicked me out because I was a masculine trans man

•My parents lied and told me I had certain health concerns which would prohibit me from medically transitioning because they didn’t want me to do it

•I had zero support system. I almost attempted suicide at 14 and self harmed frequently from 13-18 years old

•Many trans people develop eating disorders; for a lot us, we feel we can avoid being misgendered if we look a certain way. It can be caused by depression or from a means of “controlling” something about ourselves when our lives are out of control; I developed anorexia at 16 and struggle every day with it still at 21

•I was constantly told by cis “friends” even cis LGBQ+ “friends” that I would never find anyone to love me because I was trans

•I should point out, I’m not trying to attack other cis LGBQ+ people, I’m trying to point out that injustices and bullying towards trans people happens WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community by cis members. As in, being gay doesn’t mean you’re immune to being a transphobe

•Starting at 14 when I came out, I was constantly asked about how I would have sex since I was trans by both adults and classmates

•I was preyed upon in high school by a guy who had a trans man fetish. The vast majority of trans people will experience a form of sexual abuse/harassment at least once from cis people. Trans people are sometimes seen by cis people as being part of a fetish or like a “sex toy”, thinking we’re just here for their disgusting kinks

•Kids in the hall would pass me at school and make comments like “is that a boy or a girl? *laugh*” or refer to me as an “it”

•There were so little resources for trans people where I lived that I became the trans man every trans person came to for advice meanwhile other cis members of the LGBTQ+ community had many friends to confide in. Trans people are often barred from being accepted into these cis LGBQ+ circles

•A trans man friend of mine, who was a minor at the time, was raped by an adult cis man in a men’s restroom minutes from where I lived. I refuse to use public restrooms due to this fact alone, no matter how cis I look when entering a men’s restroom

•In many places throughout the world, it is illegal to use the restroom of a different gender than you were originally assigned. Even just minding our own business and using the restroom is for some reason an issue among cis people. In one restroom I could be harassed and in the other, I could physically assaulted. Or arrested! Testosterone was the only way I could go into the men’s restroom without being preyed upon by cis men and even then, I have to wait for the place to be empty, even if it’s legal for me to be in there

•When visiting dangerous areas, I have to bind my chest for 12+ hours because I never enter a place where I can take the binder off. In a very conservative area that strictly prides itself in male/female cis people, trans people feel forced to make sure we LOOK either way or else we could be harassed/jumped, as there are places not far from me where non-binary/trans/trans-nb people will not venture to because it’s unsafe. It would be easy to hide I’m gay in a dangerous area, as I just don’t mention being gay, and you can’t inherently “see” as person is gay as it’s a sexual orientation. But in a dangerous area, if I say I’m a man and someone catches on to the fact I’m not a cis man, bad things could happen to me. (I’d like to add that the vast majority of trans hate crimes have been against black trans women and murders in general of trans people have skyrocketed in recent years. A vast majority of these hate crimes are committed by cis white men.)

•A lot of emphasis is put on cis appearances in the trans community, which isn’t always the product of just wanting to express yourself in ways that are traditionally cis. Sometimes we are put in certain situations where we unfortunately MUST look either strictly, stereotypically male/female in order to avoid harassment, and it’s completely anxiety inducing and/or degrading. Some trans people sometimes feel forced to transition to fit in, and a lot trans people are AFRAID to transition or dress without accordance to their original assigned gender because of how we are mistreated by cis people when we do so

•Touching on that, I have encountered people referred to as “transmeds” which are those trans men who think trans men must have gender dysphoria in order to be trans, or that you must want to medically transition to be trans; they commonly place stereotypical, often conservative and toxic, masculine requirements to be a trans man. Many trans men like myself speculate they are the reason why toxic masculinity still thrives like a disease among the trans community. Conservative ideals like this damage the trans community by asserting a trans person DOES look and act a certain way, which is an idea incidentally trans people strive to dismantle among cis people

•Since I’m a trans, gay man, not only can I be bullied by CISHET MEN but also CIS GAY MEN and additionally even other conservative TRANS MEN. If you’re a gay, bi, etc trans person within the LGBTQ+ community, you often face more types of discrimination than cis LGBQ+ people, especially if you are asexual on top of it all, like myself

•Trans people also often encounter terfs, cis “feminists” who believe trans women aren’t real women, and these individuals are found to confidently defend racist, N@zi, white supremacist, and other bigoted attitudes, so just..... gross people

•As a trans person, you’re sometimes made to feel as though you can’t be proud of yourself the same way you can be proud of being gay or lesbian. I’ve witnessed people praising someone for talking about being gay everyday while those SAME PEOPLE complained a trans person talking about being trans ONCE was “annoying” and just “ vying for attention”. Cis people, lgbq+ or not, are sometimes made so uncomfortable by trans people they think calling them annoying will silence them. It’s happened to me almost every single time I’ve tried to come out which is what ultimately led me to be ashamed of myself for many years

•Cis people can often be so unaccepting of our identity that they will intentionally not work on using our correct name/pronouns, withhold using the correct name/pronouns as a form of punishment, or go behind our backs and use the wrong pronouns/name because they don’t think it’s important. Cis people have the luxury of always having their name and pronouns as being a given, and those same people think we are so below them, they think they can choose when we do or do not deserve to be called what we should be called. Deadnaming/intentially misgendering a celebrity you don’t like or person you’re angry with is STILL transphobia

•Just recently, a cis manager outed me to my entire workplace as being trans. Outing someone as trans is VERY DANGEROUS. At the end of the day, you never know who that information could be passed to. Knowing that someone is trans is NEVER your decision to tell people, it’s their private information. If you out someone in a workplace environment, you can and mostly likely will lose your job. However inversely, it is still possible in some places to be fired solely for being trans. If I was in a bad part of my country, her outing me could have cost me my job. Every job I have held thus far has always ended with a cis manager not knowing how to keep their mouth shut about my gender.

Basically, trans people struggle everyday in a vast number of ways and the magnitude of their hardships often go unnoticed due to transphobes or uninformed cishet people trivialising or censoring trans voices. And these are just a FRACTION of things trans people have to deal with regularly. If you aren’t trans, you can’t claim to know what we’re going through. You can only listen to and be there for trans people, read their stories and experiences to be aware of their struggles and how you can make sure you aren’t creating an unsafe space for trans people.

~Terfs and transphobes do not interact~

[perpetuallyfive]

genuine question why do u think asexuality is part of lgbtq

The obnoxious easy answer is probably “because they are” or “because they’ve been here the entire time.” 

Other obnoxious answer: “I don’t think it; I know it.”

All of those things are true, but I’m guessing you’re looking for something more than that.

Hey, this is going to get long.

This is a really, really hard question to answer eloquently because there are a lot of facets you could be coming from with your own questions and uncertainty. I’m going to go ahead and assume you are seriously asking with the best of intentions, since you’re presenting yourself that way, and do my best to answer thoroughly, however inelegant that might end up being.

In a lot of ways I’m not the right person to speak on this topic because I feel like it’s a bit like me talking over people I actually know. Like, frankly, I feel like a lot of people only don’t think ace people are part of the community because they… don’t know any? I’ve known ace people in the community for as long as I’ve been a part of it myself, and that’s a pretty long time. (I’m not actually old old, but I’m tumblr old, you know?)

First of all, we all know that LGBTQ identifying people of all kinds are relatively rare compared to the cis het majority. Ace people are even more rare. In my personal direct experience, ace people who are cis and also heteroromantic are even more rare. Most of the ace people I’ve met who engage directly and frequently with the LGBTQ community are ace aro or ace homoromantic, yet the fixation on policing identity seems to be centered around a minority within an extremely vulnerable minority as somehow being a major “problem.”

I think to an extent this question kind of comes down to how people define their space within the LGBTQ community. I don’t think being a lesbian is primarily about sex and sexual expression, personally. I think that viewpoint is actually kind of homophobic. Like obviously for people who aren’t ace, sexual desire is totally healthy and a part of who they are, but the idea that queer identities are innately sexualized is something the hets put on us. I don’t think we need to make it our primary definition of what makes us a community.

Because what does that say about trans people or non-binary people? It’s pretty obvious that the community is not, centrally, defined by sexual desire, at least as long as we believe trans, non-binary, and gender queer people all have a space alongside us. (These questions of who does and does not belong almost inevitably lead to complicating rules that help to divide and I tend to question the intentions of the people who invest a lot of personal stakes in strictly enforcing who does and does not deserve a space, particularly since a lot of them are eager to accept actually cis het “allies” while seeking to exclude ace people.) 

The community, for a long long time, has been defined, primarily, by separation from the mainstream identification of gender and sexual expression. That’s why it’s not actually about who you’re sleeping with or have ever slept with, and asexuality is pretty fucking far away from mainstream understandings of both gender and sexual expression. It’s so far away that even a lot of queer people have trouble really wrapping our heads around it, because it’s so removed from any cultural context we know. 

I constantly see people saying really flip things like, “oh wow, demi is literally just not having sex until the second date, lots of people do that, you don’t need a special name for it,” which is absolutely not at all what being demi is. But the idea of an actual literal lack of sexual desire, not just abstaining from it or choosing not to act on it, but literally not having it is so removed from how we understand the world. 

An ace friend of mine articulated it really well to me, when I told her I was writing this post actually. This impulse to divide or separate really ignores the reality of how people tend to figure out their gender and sexual identity. Sometimes, sure, it’s clean and easy, and you just know. But that’s not everyone; I don’t think it’s even close to how it works for most people. If you’re someone who thought you were bisexual because you felt equally attracted to both genders and then realize that equal attraction is, in fact, a lack of attraction and you now realize that you’re actually aro ace, do you… have to leave the community you’ve been a part of, that helped you figure out who you are? Are you no longer welcome? And why is that?

I just don’t, personally, understand the impulse to eject or entirely reject. I don’t know who it helps, except for the straight majority. I don’t define my identity as a lesbian, as a queer woman, as being about my oppression. I don’t think that people who grew up in more liberal areas, with an accepting family, are any more or less welcome in the community than people whose experience was more harrowing. I think if you have been force fed an idea about sex and gender from the mainstream that does not align with your own, if you have had to spend time figuring out who you are, and your answer led you to the LGBTQ community, then I’m not sure who I am to say you don’t belong. I don’t have to like everybody’s label, you know, or even everyone who is a part of it.

I’m a lesbian who can’t stand plenty of other lesbians. Why the fuck should I care? I don’t need to invite everyone to a cookout; I’m just also not going to work as hard as I can to help divide and conquer on behalf of the straight majority. I understand that, for a fair number of people, they question or feel confrontational about ace inclusion because of a very personal context and experience. 

I get it. I used to be a biphobic dickhead because of my own personal context and experience. I was closeted and self-loathing and knew a lot of bisexual girls with boyfriends in high school who were out and I resented them, a lot, because their experience with oppression didn’t mirror my own. Instead of getting mad at the systems of oppression, I resented someone else who I thought was getting it easier than I was. We’re conditioned to never actually fully blame the mainstream that we want to eventually be a part of.

But fuck that, honestly. I’m done defining myself and my community primarily through our relationship to pain. I was wrong when I fell for exclusionist impulses, and the new wave of exclusionists are wrong now.

Ace people are a part of the LGBTQ community because almost every argument about why they aren’t sounds like hateful shit straight people would say. 

I’m not interested in acting like I’m a straight loser during pride.

[bazz-b]

THE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all had witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

MUN NAME: Thomas/Tom     AGE: +25       CONTACT: IM, Ask, Discord

CHARACTER(S): Bazz-B, King Baraggan Louisenbairn, Kurosaki Ichigo, Ichibei Hyosube

CURRENT FANDOM(S): Bleach

BLEACH FANDOM(S) YOU HAVE AN AU FOR:  I have an ATLA and LOK AU for Bazz-B, but no Bleach AUs for external muses

MY LANGUAGE(S): Passable Japanese, Survivable Italian, Fluent English

THEMES I’M INTERESTED IN FOR RP: FANTASY / Science fiction / Horror / WESTERN / ROMANCE / Thriller / MYSTERY / DYSTOPIA / ADVENTURE / MODERN / Erotic / Crime / MYTHOLOGY / Classic / HISTORY / RENAISSANCE / MEDIEVAL / Ancient / WAR / FAMILY / POLITICS / RELIGION / SCHOOL / ADULTHOOD / CHILDHOOD / APOCALYPTIC / GODS / Sport / MUSIC / Science / FIGHTS / ANGST / Smut / DRAMA / etc. (what Bazz-B wants is reflected in italics)

PREFERRED THREAD LENGTH: one-liner / 1 para / 2 PARA / 3+ / NOVELLA.

ASKS CAN BE SEND BY: MUTUALS / NON-MUTUALS / PERSONALS / ANONS.

CAN ASKS BE CONTINUED?:   YES / NO    only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO.

PREFERRED THREAD TYPE: CRACK / casual nothing too deep / SERIOUS / DEEP AS HECK.

IS REALISM / RESEARCH IMPORTANT FOR YOU IN CERTAIN THEMES?:   YES / NO.

ARE YOU ATM OPEN FOR NEW PLOTS?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.

DO YOU HANDLE YOUR DRAFT / ASK - COUNT WELL?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. (usually but I need to catch up at the moment)

HOW LONG DO YOU USUALLY TAKE TO REPLY?: 24H / 1 WEEK / 2 WEEKS / 3+ / months / years. /DEPENDS ON MOOD AND INSPIRATION, AND IF I’M BUSY I

I’M OKAY WITH INTERACTING: ORIGINAL CHARACTERS / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / MY FANDOM / CROSSOVERS / MULTI-MUSES / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / CANON-DIVERGENT PORTRAYALS / AU-VERSIONS.

DO YOU POST MORE IC OR OOC?: IC / OOC.

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WITH FOLLOWING OTHERS?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

BEST WAYS TO APPROACH YOU FOR RP/PLOTTING:  You can IM me or send an ask, but the tumblr messaging systems SUCK so I encourage y’all to add me on discord and then just go ham. I’ll only turn down a plot if it’s OOC for Bazz-B, but otherwise I’ll usually try anything. If it’s not working out I’ll typically let you know, but I’m game for most things.

WHAT EXPECTATIONS DO YOU HOLD TOWARDS YOUR PLOTTING PARTNER:  Honestly, not a lot. You can be as invested or as chaotic as works for you. You get the urge to suddenly write a specific theme? Hit me with it. The urge goes and you lose interest, that’s fine. Four weeks later and the muse hits you again LETS DO THIS.

WHEN YOU NOTICE THE PLOTTING IS RATHER ONE-SIDED, WHAT DO YOU DO?:  I don’t typically struggle with this issue. If anything, I’m the lackluster end of the plotting side. I typically run things through Bazz-B as their happening, rarely looking forward. Unless there’s an overarching story we’re specifically working towards I’m pretty weak sauce. Sorry people!

HOW DO YOU USUALLY PLOT WITH OTHERS, DO YOU GIVE INPUT OR LEAVE MOST WORK TOWARDS YOUR PARTNER?:  I’ll typically propose an idea and then see where our muses take us. If my partner needs a rough road map, I’m happy to negotiate what we’d each like to see happen. Generally speaking I let Bazz-B take the wheel.

WHEN A PARTNER DROPS THE THREAD, DO YOU WISH TO KNOW?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: If you want to drop a thread, I’m completely fine with it. The only reason I’d want to know is so I don’t start panicking and think that I forgot to reply you your latest response to it.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY LEAD YOU TO DROP A THREAD?:  If I lose the thread, or if I think it’s reach a natural conclusion. I don’t typically abandon one in the middle on purpose.

- WILL YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

IS COMMUNICATION IN THE RPC IMPORTANT TO YOU? YES / NO.

- AND WHY?: I don’t require a constant, nor deep level of communication, but it’s important to voice concerns. People tend to internalize problems until they become these big ordeals. A friendly message every now and again can save everyone a lot of drama later.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH ABSOLUTE HONESTY, EVEN IF IT MAY MEANS HEARING SOMETHING NEGATIVE ABOUT YOU AND/OR PORTRAYAL?: I BEG for negative feedback. Even if you feel like your nitpicking, it’s the number one thing I crave from writing partners. Tell me what you dislike and I can work on it.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE SUCH SITUATION IN A MATURE WAY? YES / NO.

WHY DO YOU RP AGAIN, IS THERE A GOAL?: To tell a story. Bazz-B is my primary muse, and his entire tale is so interesting to me. The foundations of his identity are flawed and I want to explore that as much a I can, throw him into as many situations as possible and watch him evolve.

WISHLIST, BE IT PLOTS OR SCENARIOS:  My left arm for an entire roster of Sternritter, of course. Bazz-B and Liltotto surviving after the war. A reality where Bazz-B finds happiness and acceptance in himself. A healthy bond with a Shinigami. 

THEMES I WON’T EVER RP / EXPLORE:   I’ll not write rape, it’s understandably triggering for a lot of people and writing it glorifies it, I think. Also racism in a real world setting? I��ve come to terms with it in regards to Shinigami and Arrancar, but they’re fictional groups. I wont engage with it outside of that. Finally, trans-phobia. If a guy like Bazz-B doesn’t engage with that sort of vile nonsense, none of you should either.

WHAT TYPE OF STARTERS DO YOU PREFER / DISLIKE, CAN’T WORK WITH?: Starters that provide a setting and a purpose are great. The sort of starter that turns it back at the recipient with something akin to “Why are you here” are confining. Also, if in the starter your muse is already pushing away mine.. Bazz-B might just nope outta there.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE MOST?:  Despite my main muse being Bazz-B (or perhaps in favour of it) I typically write as old men cemented deeply in their ways. Yamamoto Genryuusai Shigekuni, King Baraggan Louisenbairn and Ichibei Hyosube are just some examples. Bazz-B kinda fits the bill too.. I GUESS.

WHAT TYPE OF CHARACTERS CATCH YOUR INTEREST THE LEAST?:  Cold, distant, dispassionate sorts. I could never write as the likes of Ishida, Ulquiorra, Haschwalth, etc. They’re all very nuanced characters, they just don’t mesh well with me. 

WHAT ARE YOUR STRONG ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: I typically respond lightning fast, my last two weeks or so a poor example of that. I’m passionate, you’ll not find another person so desperately in love with Bazz-B as this fool. I’m easy-going, you can take as long as you want and I’ll still be ready to rumble.

WHAT ARE YOUR WEAK ASPECTS AS RP PARTNER?: Tumblr confuses the hell out of me, I don’t understand a lot of lingo and the big CARDINAL LAWS of writing. I struggle with scene transitioning and limb placement, and my tags are a mess.

DO YOU RP SMUT?:  YES / NO/ DEPENDS.

DO YOU PREFER TO GO INTO DETAIL?: YES / NO / DEPENDS.

ARE YOU OKAY WITH BLACK CURTAIN?: YES / NO.

- WHEN DO YOU RP SMUT? MORE OUT OF FUN OR CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT?:  What I want and what Bazz-B want are wildly different things. This man is planting a flag in the middle of bonezone whether I agree or not. I commonly write smut because it’s what Bazz-B wants, but I prefer to do it for development.

- ANYTHING YOU WOULD NOT WANT TO RP THERE?:  I am personally the most vanilla dude you’ll meet. I can google things but it might not translate very well.

ARE SHIPS IMPORTANT TO YOU?:   YES / NO A characters growth should never be locked to a specific person, but exploring a character in isolation can only get you so far. As people, we grow from one another. Romance is a key factor in formulating a person’s ideals, but that’s no the only form of ship. The eventual friendship between Bazz-B and Liltotto and Giselle is one of the most interesting things to me. A romance surviving Silbern is incredibly powerful in my opinion. The bond of a teacher and a student. There are so many situations that force a character to change how they would typically react.

WOULD YOU SAY YOUR BLOG IS SHIP-FOCUSED?:  YES / NO. More and more I’ve been thinking that I’ve been writing Bazz-B in more ships, but that is not the blog’s focus. Ultimately I’m exploring the character of Bazz-B, and that just happens to be inclusive of ships. Some of my most active writing partners also happen to be muses that Bazz-B has excitedly/begrudgingly/unexpectedly fallen for.

DO YOU USE READ MORE?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES WHEN I WRITE LONG STUFF.

ARE YOU:  MULTI-SHIP / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  MULTIVERSE / Singleverse.

 - WHAT DO YOU LOVE TO EXPLORE THE MOST IN YOUR SHIPS?: Individuals who challenge Bazz-B, who force him to rise above what he is, what he thinks he should be. Who tear down complacency and demand better of him in all ways. Whether overtly, intentionally, whatever! 

ARE YOU OKAY WITH PRE-ESTABLISHED RELATIONSHIPS?: YES / NO. - If you come to me and sell me a story, I’m in. I’m easily swayed by visual art, written lyrics (my ears don’t work so good with music for some reason) and themes.

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- WHAT COULD POSSIBLY MAKE YOUR MUSE INTERESTING TOWARDS OTHERS, WHY SHOULD THEY RP WITH THIS PARTICULAR CHARACTER OF YOURS NOW, WHAT POSSIBLE PLOTS DO THEY OFFER?: Bazz-B is a fun guy to taunt, and to cause havoc with. But he’s more than just a hothead, you can read any one of my many rants if you wanna find out about that. With a plot to kill God spanning 1000 years, a burning fury and misguided ideals dragged through the mud of “the lesser of two evils”, he’s a real party trick.

- WITH WHAT TYPE OF MUSES DO YOU USUALLY STRUGGLE TO RP WITH?:  Muses who, from the start, wish to disengage with Bazz-B. I understand it might be in character, but both Bazz-B and I are gonna struggle to engage if there’s not some allowances made.

- WHAT DO THEY DESIRE, IS THEIR GOAL?:  His ultimate goal is the death of Yhwach. In a perfect world that would coexist with a Quincy victory over the Shinigami, vengeance for genocide. But he’ll take the former over the latter.

- WHAT CATCHES THEIR INTEREST FIRST WHEN MEETING SOMEONE NEW?:  Style, first and foremost. If a Quincy had modified their Wandenreich uniform he’s gonna take notice and make some judgement calls. The rest comes after.

- WHAT DO THEY VALUE IN A PERSON?:  Honesty to themselves, and a drive to survive. Not to be buried by what’s expected of them, or what they should do. Free will is one of the fundamental truths of the world.

- WHAT THEMES DO THEY LIKE TALKING ABOUT?:  Motorbikes, Pop-culture, Fashion, Movies, Himself.

- WHICH THEMES BORE THEM?:  History, loyalty beyond all else, the importance of leadership and hierarchy, lectures of all kinds.

- DID THEY EVER WENT THROUGH SOMETHING TRAUMATIC?:  His family was burned alive by the man who claimed to be their God. Entering a war on the losing side, his kind facing extinction. Hiding in the shadows, surrounded by a extremist military cult.

- WHAT COULD LEAD TO AN INSTANT KILL?:  After a certain point in his life, it’s really only Hollows that should fear indiscriminate murder. Unless you threaten his fragile peace, or claim Yhwach was just.

- IS THERE SOMEONE /-THING THEY HATE?:  Bazz-B hates Hollows, and any Quincy loyalists that stand by Yhwach post-Aushwalen. Anyone who saw the true colors of their progenitor and still deluded themselves into thinking him right.. it’s disgusting.

IS YOUR MUSE EASY TO APPROACH?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  Stoke his ego and you’re usually set for a good few hours.

SOMETHING YOU MAY STILL WANT TO POINT OUT ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: Nothing you cant already find on one of my many ramblings about that greatest Quincy that every lived, Bazzard ‘Bazz-B’ Black!

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  @equipollency (I got a phantom notification so I rolled with it)

Tagging: @diepower + @zombiequincy + @verzinken + @cheonsaaui + @bleachsthetic + @senboago + any other quincy reading this

[sunflowerbloomss]

im just. yknow we trans people rarely have any representation at all and when we do it includes so much transphobia that watching a show with a trans character required a lot of mental strength. and i get that outing is realistic and that many trans people face transphobia from the school system and run away from home and compromise for a very long time for others to accept them but. but. sometimes it might also be realistic to portray trans characters as strong and happy and surrounded by people they love without making them suffer. because we can be strong and well written characters without trauma. and we can exist without trauma, too. trans people can be strong and good and trans characters can be well written and rounded without unnecessary trauma. because goddamn it we went through such a long time without seeing david happy and we skipped an episode that was supposed to be happy for it to be centered about a cis boy trying to work out his boyfriend’s trans-ness, and while it made sense when watching the episode and can be somewhat okay considering matteo’s character, having another week where we see a sweet and loving and amazing trans man suffer is just pointless.

a good trans character doesn’t have to go through trauma, outing or harsh transphobia in order to be perceived as strong and rounded and realistic. because yeah, we face really hard transphobia sometimes and yes, some of us get outed and most of us if not all of us are sometimes made fun of at school, but we are also able to be happy. we can have supporting friends, families that love us, good and healthy relationships and very long times when we are just. happy. and sometimes the way to raise awareness about the difficult parts of being trans also required showing a trans character thriving. because if the story needs to be realistic, the good things happening to us need to be there, too.

and don’t get me wrong, i think that showing trans people’s struggles is very important and relevant and that the story can’t be fully realistic without it. but sometimes we need to see ourselves happy on the tv screen too, to know that we are not just a sad trauma, that we can and will be happy. i’m sure druck will make sure david’s happy and he’s going to be brave and go through this terrible experience with so much strength, because he is already so brave, but i really wish they would have given him a week to relax from this week, because seeing it through matteo’s eyes doesn’t show us how hard it had been for david. and now he gets another week being all sad and angry and confused and scared, but now we might get to see it. and it’s important to show this to cis people - it’s so important letting them know that transphobia exists and that some trans people suffer and experience a really harsh reality. it’s important. and if druck didn’t show this, i’d call them out, too.

but it’s also important showing trans characters being happy and being accepted, even if it’s thought of as “not realistic”, because it’s realistic to some people. when i came out to my friends, their reaction was perfect and it made me very, very happy. and i get that not every trans person has that - in fact, many trans people don’t have that - but we do need to see this, even if it’s only for sake of showing us that we do have a chance to be happy. because trust me, we know how low our chances of living a long, happy, successful life is. we listen to the news. we read articles. we know how much we have to face to be considered “barely acceptable”. we know. it’s our reality, mainly, even for those of us who have it really good like me. that’s why we need trans characters to be happy. we don’t need to be reminded that we aren’t always happy, we need a message that if we go on, it can be good. not “might” be good. not “possible that” it’d be good. no. we need tv shows and books and movies and podcasts and everything to tell us that our life can and will be good even though it may also be horrible and scary. because it’s also realistic. because there are trans people who thrive, who go to school and look to everyone straight in the eyes and go through medical procedures if they choose to and marry and have kids and are loved by friends and family and manage to be happy.

so if druck really wanted the story to be realistic, we would have seen david happy and proud with his identity today. we would have seen him going out with matteo and smiling and laughing and being a normal teenager. because he can be, because they could let him be. but they chose to remind us again that we can’t be happy so fast, that our life is hard and terrible and we might also push people we love away. and that happens, i know that happens, but if druck wanted to make a trans character to a trans audience too they would make david happy, and even if they choose to out him, they would do it another time. not because they want to present a “wishful” life, but because that’s a realistic thing to do with david’s character, too.

and another thing, because somehow no one stresses this enough. this is more than just another tv show. it’s a skam show, a show that’s supposed to show us how teenage life actually look like, unlike other shows. but here druck does something i believe they don’t even understand. they use their power as a tv show so many people look up to and get their hopes and wishes from and instead of using it to show us a positive possibility, they show us the most terrible one we could think of. and that says something about the writers, too.

[holaafrica]

New Post has been published on http://holaafrica.org/queer-lockdown-essential-workers/

Queer Lockdown – Essential Workers

By Tshegofatso Senne (@mbongomuffin), Illustrated by studiostudioworkwork

LGBTQIA+ people have been particularly affected by the COVID-19 pandemic. In a country that very rarely prioritises the needs of our community, circumstances have worsened during the pandemic, especially as the poor and working class face greater risks. LGBTQIA+ people are at the intersection of multiple vulnerable communities, with those who are immunocompromised, living with HIV/AIDS, unemployed, those who are homeless, refugees and others who are forced to live with homophobic family members. Even within non-governmental organisations, funding very rarely prioritises our community.

Regardless of this, queer people are still working tirelessly as essential workers across a range of sectors. They are working in our food stores, within public transport and media, they’re within cleaning, sanitation and security services, at our pharmacies and banks, they’re helping bury our loved ones and take care of far more within the healthcare sector. Queer people have always done care work and yet, they are often the first to be forgotten or pushed aside.

I was able to speak to three queer medical practitioners to hear about their experiences working during this time; just how it is that our community is uniquely affected within a pandemic and how they’re coping with that.

Buhle Radebe*, a nurse at a public hospital in Johannesburg is a queer woman who lives with her mother and brother, notes how fortunate she feels to be in close quarters with a family that is completely accepting of her sexual identity.

“Some people are lucky to have homes that are allow for their full expression. Unfortunately, with schools closed many have had to leave residences and are now stuck in abusive spaces,” she says. Whether we are out or not, being in a lockdown period with a family that is unaccepting or oblivious to the person you are is immensely terrifying for many.

“They can’t be themselves entirely, having to change the way they speak or dress. They’re dying for this time to end so they can remove themselves from that space and environment. They can longer seek safety at school, work or with friends, there’s no easy way to preserve themselves.”

Dr. Anastacia Tomson, a medical doctor, author and activist is a trans woman in Cape Town. She notes that housing is a huge problem that she’s seen patients and queer individuals alike facing. This is definitely not a new conversation, the effects of COVID-19 add a different element to the frustrating experiences of queer people currently; the pandemic has worsened homelessness. Having a safe place to call home and having access to loved ones that understand their identities is not always the case.

“I think as with any socio-economic phenomenon it’s always the marginalised populations who are hit the hardest and not always in ways we even understand,” shared Anastacia. “The reason it’s so difficult right now is because we didn’t really recognise or pay enough attention to how lacking these structures were before the pandemic. So now we find ourselves in a space where we need them and don’t know where to start.”

While NGOs attempt to bridge the gaps between the needs of the community and the actual service government provides, this is a systemic issue. Worse still, even the services that the government does provide often result in incredibly traumatic experiences for queer individuals who are able to access them.

“This is the dilemma as a queer person, the majority of healthcare providers we go to are not necessarily going to be part of the community, they aren’t going to have the context, they aren’t going to have the understanding,” shared Anastacia.

Accessing general healthcare comes with immense trauma and red-tape that’s used to discriminate against the community. Trans-identifying individuals cannot access specialists they need as easily now, those without updated ID documents with affirming gender markers find this even more difficult. Many are dead-named, misgendered and treated condescendingly which becomes a greater problem when such a large part of the population cannot access healthcare because they’re aware of the trauma involved in doing so.

Many queer medical practitioners are having to work as much as possible in order to allow for access to medical services, across sectors. Aware of the unique challenges the community faces, these practitioners are working extra hard to ensure that queer people have access to and feel safe to seek necessary medical care.

Dr. Melusi Dhlamini, Clinical Executive at Marie Stopes South Africa and a medical doctor, is a queer man who is determined to ensure that all who need to access sexual and reproductive health and rights (SRHR) during the pandemic are able to. Reported (and legal) abortions for 2019 sat at 105000; one can only imagine how this number has plummeted during the pandemic, with so many having less access to services during lockdown.

“When lockdown started there was a feeling of SRHR not being essential. Every resource is being redirected for COVID. This is part of flattening the curve and I get that, but then what is deemed as essential? What is the cost once you delay an abortion? We have a limited amount of time, 20 weeks to work with. People don’t get the importance of this conversation,” he shared with me.

This time has forced doctors to be more innovative, which is exactly what Melusi did. He became the first South African doctor to complete an at-home abortion. While there was some pushback from providers who worried about safety, Melusi trained providers and did the first few himself. At the time of this interview, 28 May 2020, they had completed 257 at-home abortions and continue to receive over 20 calls a day from people who look to access this service.

“If you’re less than 9 weeks pregnant you call in and are screened to exclude anything that could put you at risk of having an ectopic pregnancy and whether you have medical conditions that would preclude you from getting an at-home abortion. Once that’s done we send you the medication or you can come collect. You are counselled on how the process will work, someone from Marie Stopes, available 24/7, is directed to you should you need guidance or questions.”

This service has allowed so many to access this service privately. It’s also reached areas that don’t have centres in them; places in the Northern Cape, Limpopo and Mpumalanga, especially.

The LGBTQIA+ community is disproportionately impacted by the various ways this pandemic has put additional strain on how the community is able to access healthcare in an already difficult system. Oftentimes we already have significantly lower health outcomes because of the discrimination we face and without medical aid this is exacerbated. Individuals within the community are encounter hyper-medicalisation as trans or intersex people, or have procedures done on them without their consent. Queer refugees cannot access medical care and face increasing risks when relocating to find safety. Additionally, many procedures that the queer community may need are deemed as non-urgent and postponed or cancelled during the pandemic.

Anastacia, whose work includes providing gender-affirming healthcare to trans patients, speaks on this overall impact. Patients are unwilling to come out to the medical rooms or clinic, and if they do travel it’s challenging due to lockdown restrictions. A lot of patients are struggling with their finances, a lot more don’t have secure housing and this makes life excruciatingly difficult.

“There’s a lot of uncertainty right now and that makes gender-affirming care more difficult to do. Many public sector clinics have had to restrict their operations because of the pandemic. We definitely know that gender-affirming healthcare is essential and scientifically it’s proven to improve life expectancy, quality of life, adverse outcomes, affects depression, anxiety, substance use, etc. You can’t make the argument that this work is not essential. There are many people who would like to use this pandemic as a reason to shut down access to queer healthcare services but I think it’s our responsibility as clinicians and activists not to let them do that.”

This has definitely been the experience of Melusi, who says that many hospitals and clinics have taken this time as a justification to stop prioritising abortions, even though the need has not subsided. He talks through the various situations he’s had to deal with since the beginning of lockdown.

“I was so upset when I called to a hospital in the Eastern Cape and found out they had only done 2 abortions in 2 months. They have 40 people on the waiting list, many who are already past 10 weeks. The head of the department had no plan. Pre-COVID this clinic would have patients lining up at 5am just to make sure they could access this service,” Melusi shared. “At Bara they only see 4 or 5 clients a day and the demand is huge. They have a working list and prioritised clients are around 20 weeks. So if you’re 12/13 weeks you’re going to wait until they have no choice but to squeeze you in. This is the reality of South African healthcare.”

This, indeed, is the reality of South African healthcare.

As a nurse, Buhle feels this reality in a completely different way than the doctors above. Nurses, as vital as they are to healthcare are often treated as unimportant. Within the public hospital where she works, nurses have seldomly been given information about procedures or what’s happening in the hospital. Her ward, paediatric medical, was changed into a COVID-19 ward with little to no information and they were simply told they would now be testing patients; this occurred with them barely having access to sufficient Personal Protective Equipment (PPE).

“They were dishonest about the first suspect COVID patient we had. At the time we didn’t have PPE at all, there weren’t even masks because people were stealing things. Alcohol sanitiser was being stolen, on Monday we had 20 boxes but by Friday there were only 6,” Buhle recollected. “I told them they can’t put us at risk like that. Granted, it’s our jobs to take care of patients but at the end of the day our health must come first as well. At the end of the day we go back to our families, most of my colleagues are married with kids. I live with my mother and my brother is back from school. My mother has a heart condition so I said no, I’m not going to put my mother at risk like that.”

This isn’t just in this hospital, as confirmed by Melusi. Healthcare workers all across the country are having to deal with levels of dishonesty that pose a huge risk for them.

“One of my friends working in Pretoria was simply told, ‘You’re not seeing psychiatric clients anymore, you’re doing COVID work. Thanks, bye.’ There was a lot of uproar. They received no training. People who work in psych wards don’t usually touch patients and now they’re being made to test people without training.”

There’s a high level of frustration that then affects the quality of work done as well as the morale within their jobs. These are some of the factors that can easily lead to incorrect results; how good can a specimen be when sent to the lab if there’s knowledge lacking in how to collect it.

“A friend who usually works with rape victims was told that they would be seeing less of these clients and they’d be working in roadblocks to help with testing from now on. They were also not trained, simply thrown in the deep end. You are just told, there’s no discussion, even with people with conditions and diseases that put them at risk for contracting COVID. No screening was done to ensure that they wouldn’t be putting their lives at risk.”

The strain on healthcare workers is not new, but has grown exponentially in the time of COVID-19. There’s fear, anxiety and uncertainty.

“We don’t know when things are going to get really bad, we’re not even there yet, Anastacia shared. “It’s now a lot more difficult to maintain boundaries and leave work at the office. It just hasn’t been possible. Over the past two months more than ever in recent memory my work has been slipping outside of office hours and I have to attend to patients and check on them after hours. It becomes a challenge. At the same time it’s the realisation that a lot of the coping measures that we use in our day-to-day lives have also been denied to us in this lockdown process.”

Anastacia touches on an incredibly important note here, the use of substances, tends to be higher amongst queer populations. The adversity so many of us face in our personal lives, with family or loved ones, co-workers and complete strangers, pushes many to find various coping mechanism. “Whether they’re deemed healthy or not, they become necessary for survival. Now being denied access to that can be a significant challenge.”

The impact of this pandemic on LGBTQIA+ is continuously expanding beyond what we know. Housing, food and financial security are priorities, with mental healthcare opening up more questions about accessibility. We have always created our own communities and support structures and now many are completely cut off from those, unable to interact with friends and acquaintances outside of home to feel understood and supported. The effects on mental health are numerous and we’re only going to be aware of the overall impact as time goes by. Those without access to smart phones and affordable internet are not even able to access virtual mental health services right now.

Buhle notes that more holistic support structures are necessary. Nurses working with COVID patients are not receiving proper PPE or a danger allowance (an additional sum of money given to workers in high-risk environments) and she they can’t afford medical aid to be able to go for therapy. She notes that the issue needs to be addressed systemically, “They may give you that allowance but if you do catch COVID and, god forbid, you die that allowance stops. It’s given to you for the time you’re working within the ward. So yes, give us money but we need support as well. If I die what does my family do after?”

“This is a crisis,” Melusi shares. “Workers are kept in the dark when there are cases of COVID, people are sent to do testing without training, wards and whole hospitals are closing, workers are not showing up to work because of these issues and work morale is incredibly low.”

So what exactly can be done within our own communities?

“Now is the time to build community-based resources where we figure out how to support this community and upskill our people so that we can provide ourselves with these services,” Anastacia said. “In order for someone to be able to get mental health assistance, we need the financial access, we need someone to be available to assist. That person needs some degree of training and fair compensation.”

Mutual aid is not a new solution for our communities. We’ve been denied the opportunities, education, training and development so long that we felt it was best to invest in ourselves.

Anastacia places great importance on this, “I think maybe this should really serve as the pivot for us to recognise that now is our wake up call, that we have to start building and growing and developing those resources that have within our own community so not to fall by the wayside. We also have to look after ourselves.”

These healthcare workers do phenomenal and often underappreciated work for the community and their role in ensuring accessible healthcare is undeniable. Our community is uniquely affected by this pandemic, battling access combined with prejudice; it is natural to wonder how we can create systems of mutual aid and development of shared resources for the community. I leave you with this: what do queer futures look like and what can we do where we are, with what we have to inch closer to futures where we are prioritised?

*Pseudonym used to preserve the interviewee’s anonymity

This article was commissioned by GALA as part of the Queer Lockdown project, with the support of SAIH (Norwegian Students’ and Academics’ International Assistance Fund).

[mszegedy]

30 Days of Autism Acceptance 2020: Days 1-10

This is a list of questions by @autie-jake (full list here), where you’re supposed to answer one per day for every day of April. I learned about it a few days into April and intended to start doing it but I forgot, I guess, or maybe decided against it. But I wanna do it now, so here’s the first ten days really quick.

April 1: Introduce yourself. Talk about who you are as a person.

This is kind of a hard question for me. I think my younger sister (by 3¾ years) would say this, if she just made a new friend the same age as her and she asked about me:

“Well, she goes to college, but she’s graduating this semester. She does something with proteins, but honestly she should really be a linguist. I actually really hate discussing linguistics with her, because she gets so annoying and overbearing about it. I don’t understand why she’s doing whatever she is. She’s a pretty weird person. She has all sorts of problems with, like, depression and amnesia and stuff. Oh, but, she’s trans, so, like, that’s a thing, yeah. I don’t like talking about most things with her because she thinks she’s always right. And also, she’s kind of mean to our mom. I don’t know why she does that. But at the same time she’s, like, really sensitive, and will be offended by the stupidest things. Okay, this is making it sound like I don’t like her, but I do, okay? She’s my sister, of course I love her. We’ve bonded a lot. She’s moving to DC in October, so we’ll be able to hang out during the school year, and that’ll be really fun. I think I’m just a little fed up with her right now from having to live with her for a whole month.“

April 2: Post your red instead selfie today! Alternatively, you could talk about why you choose to go redinstead and what it means to you.

I don’t know what “redinstead” is. I googled it and it sounds like you wear differently-themed stuff from what’s recommended by Autism Speaks, to dunk on them. Like a lot of people, I’m stuck inside this April, so there’s no point in me wearing pride clothing, because nobody will see it. But I do disapprove of Autism Speaks, because they don’t treat autistic people like people, and they try to spread that ideology. If you trick them into thinking you’re a person first, they won’t change their mind; instead, they’ll say you’re not autistic. People defend them by recounting the problems that nonverbal autistic people face, as though nonverbal autistic people have an inherently worse neurotype than everyone else, and not just one that’s more difficult to accomodate for society, and as though that justifies the abuses levied against them by Autism Speaks. I could go into details, but I won’t, because it would be emotionally draining for me as a writer, and you as a reader.

Suffice to say, I love being autistic. It has inspired a lot of people to treat me very badly, and probably led to a degree of abuse and neglect in my childhood that resulted in dissociative identity disorder. But all of my autistic traits are things that I love about myself. I like how emotionally expressive my stims make me. I like how I’ve learned to dissect a lot of social stuff and I can explain it. I like how I can just dispense with all of that social stuff around autistic people. Hell, I think it gives the neurotypical people I hang out with some relief, too, when I’m straightforward and explicit all the time. I like how good I am at linguistics, and how I can use it as a way to relate to the world.

April 3: Talk about special interests. Do you have any? What are they? How long have you had them? What does it feel like to have special interests? What does having special interests mean to you? Talk about your past special interests

My special interests are unusually slow burns. I’ve had linguistics-related special interests for the past ten years. They’re peripherally useful for language learning, but mostly I’ve just accumulated academic knowledge. They’ve, however, also led me to reconnect with my Ugric heritage culture, which is very important to me. (It wouldn’t be important to me if language weren’t my primary way of relating to the world; paradox?)

I have a wide variety of other interests, but few of them are really “special”. As a kid, my special interest was marine life. Unfortunately, I haven’t retained much of that, although I do have the privilege of having a diver’s license, which I’ll use again someday when I pass better naked. I also briefly had a special interest in… building computers, or something. I didn’t have the money to make anything particularly powerful (not that I had anything at the time to use computational power for), but I did run some workshops for middle-schoolers.

I think maybe my interest as a kid in Homestuck was special? It ran pretty deep, anyway. It’s hard to say, when you can’t remember most of your life.

April 4: Do you consider your autism to be an important part of your identity?

Because we have DID (or something like it), we don’t have an identity in the traditional sense. We do have a system identity, but that’s built around our mutual goals and guidelines. However, we’d be very sad to lose our autistic traits. Also, it might mess with the standard of consistency we’ve established for ourselves; we might not be able to predict our future actions, because losing our autistic traits may interfere with our ability to follow the aforementioned goals and guidelines, which are what help keep us focused and consistent.

April 5: Talk about your living situation. Do you live with your parents? Do you live on your own? Have roommates? Etc. If you live on your own how hard was it to get used to?

Right now, I’m quarantining with my mom, my sister, and my brother (who is actually my sister’s boyfriend), at my mom’s house. The mess that’s accumulating in the house is slowly causing my mom more and more stress, I think. I’ve never really lived on my own. For a lot of college, I lived with roommates or housemates, but I don’t think I was very good at that. Also, my mom lived nearby, and I stayed at her place on the weekends. The closest I’ve come to living on my own is watching my mom’s house for up to a few weeks at a time, and that wasn’t sustainable. (To be fair, what kind of house has a lawn? When I get a house with a lawn in the future, I will make sure that it’s a wild lawn that I don’t have to mow.)

The third to last time that I house-sitted for my mom, I ended up getting hospitalized for self-harm. It took her a while to let me do it again after that. Although, not a very long while, I guess. That was at the end of last September.

April 6: Are you able to drive? If you can, was it hard for you to learn? If not, what alternatives do you use, if any

I’m not able to drive. Driving is scary and difficult for me. I went through the motions of learning it in high school, but my track was interrupted by a move across state lines (I lived in the US at the time), and I never recovered. I’ve failed the NJ written driver’s exam, which grants you a one-year permit with restrictions, a total of roughly ten times. I’ve never been this bad at a subject; it’s like I have the opposite of a special interest in driving. A special lack-of-interest. My brain won’t retain any information about NJ driving laws whatsoever. It doesn’t help that I had a traumatic car crash when I was very young.

So far, I’ve just gotten my mom and coworkers to drive me places, or taken Ubers or trains. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that if I leave NJ, I’ll probably have to get a driver’s license. Although, I’ve already got a carpool set up at my next job in October.

April 7: Talk about autism in the media. Do you think that autism is typically portayed well? Badly? Is there anything you’d like to see more of when it comes to autistic representation? Who are your favorite autistic characters? Do you have any headcanons?

The media that I consume doesn’t really have autistic characters, so I can’t comment on how autistic people are portrayed, except that I’d like us to be portrayed more, period. I’ve only really seen us in teen dramas. To be fair, one of my favorite webcomics, El Goonish Shive, is a teen drama, and has a great autistic character (Susan). I’d say I identify with her, but not really. It’s very hard for me to identify with people, fictional or nonfictional, because my neurotype is greatly influenced by autism, DID, chronic depression, and gender dysphoria, and you don’t see combinations of traits in media that come even close to that.

Speaking of another teen drama, I wish I were half as cool as Matilda from Everything’s Gonna Be Okay. I guess that makes her my favorite canon autistic character, but that’s pretty easy, because I don’t know any other ones. I can’t say that I wanna hug her, because she doesn’t like that, but her general substitute for hugs is dancing, and I can’t dance. I guess I’d learn how, to show my appreciation for her.

Archer from Archer is probably autistic. I like him a lot.

April 8: What are some misconceptions/stereotypes about autism that you hate?

“Hating” is not something I can really do, even when it’s recommended to do it. I haven’t been open about my autism, so I haven’t been exposed to too many misconceptions or stereotypes about it firsthand, anyway. I guess if I had to pick, it would be whatever made my dad call me autistic as an insult and use a bunch of ableist slurs at me a whole lot. I don’t know how he understands autism, however. He doesn’t seem to realize that he has it himself. (It’s not usually one’s place to diagnose other people like that, but one of the most degrading things that my mom says to me very often is that I’m exactly like my father. He even has some traits that I don’t, like touch-aversion and samefoods.)

April 9: How sensitive are you when it comes to touch? Are you pro hug or anti hug?

I’m hyposensitive. I’m really losing it here under this quarantine. I had a girlfriend who always made me feel so respected whenever she responded to my touch-based needs, by squeezing me, hugging me, or otherwise cuddling me very tight, but then she broke up with me because of my mental health issues, and because her parents hated me and her friends were made very uncomfortable by me.

April 10: Do you have trouble understanding when someone is being sarcastic or joking?

It depends. I think I’m as good at it as I’ll ever be, and my false negative rate is under 0.5 (and my false positive rate is very low, but not 0). But I don’t think the same thing goes on in my head as in neurotypical people’s heads when I determine something to be a joke. I almost explicitly do a Bayesian calculation; “Based on what I know about this person and this context, how well can I imagine them meaning this statement unironically in this context? How well can I imagine them meaning this statement ironically in this context?” It’s pretty automatic now, but sometimes it doesn’t work very well, when I’m not so familiar with the person and/or the context, and occasionally the intended interpretation of the statement.

[nebris]

Gender identity needs to be based on objective evidence rather than feelings

Jul 3rd 2018 by DEBBIE HAYTON

Debbie Hayton is a physics teacher at a school in the West Midlands, in Britain. She is a vocal campaigner for trans rights, but she argues that self-identification is an unwise step to take because it risks the credibility of the gender-recognition process. Trans people need more than feelings to protect them from an uncertain future. Follow her on Twitter @DebbieHayton.

When Tara Wolf assaulted Maria MacLachlan at Speakers’ Corner on September 13th 2017, a social-media dispute between transgender activists and radical feminists burst out onto the streets of London. Ms MacLachlan, a 60-year-old woman, was going to a feminist meeting that had been forced to move to a secret venue after protests by a group of transgender activists that included Ms Wolf, a 26-year-old trans woman.

Tensions had been raised three months earlier, when Britain’s government announced that it would consult the public on changes to the Gender Recognition Act of 2004, which sets out the steps transgender people must take to get their new gender identity recognised in law. The proposals included gender self-identification, effectively allowing applicants to change their legal sex by simply declaring their intention “to live in their preferred gender” for the rest of their life. They would no longer have to provide medical reports attesting to gender dysphoria, or evidence that they had lived in the target gender. The proposals proved more controversial than the government had perhaps expected. Nine months on, the dispute shows no signs of resolution. The consultation was delayed repeatedly, raising the temperature in an already heated environment.

I am a teacher and I encourage my pupils to think critically and judge arguments by the supporting evidence. Sadly in this debate, emotion has eclipsed reason and seemingly contradictory assertions, namely “woman means adult human female” and “trans women are women” are hurled back and forth without any progress towards a shared position.

Future historians may see this as a clash between postmodernism and facts: the facts of life, namely sex and reproduction, on the one hand, and the idea that sex, or at least gender, is defined by thoughts and feelings rather than bodies. In the meantime, however, for trans people like me the debate is personal and the stakes are enormous. I transitioned six years ago to be freed of the chronic and debilitating effects of gender dysphoria. My goal was to carry on teaching and stay out of the press. That strategy was partly successful: I still work in the same school, and Sir became Miss. But I set aside my desire for privacy to speak out at this crucial time. The rights, protections and identities of trans people are being gambled, not in a court of law but in the court of public opinion.

From a trans perspective, it is superficially attractive to base arguments on the concept of an innate gender identity that drives our character and personality. If we have a female gender identity then we are female, while people with a male gender identity are male. It’s simple and it’s empowering. Should our bodies not match our gender identity, then our thoughts and feelings trump our chromosomes and genitals. Arguably, this line of thinking leads to the conclusion that trans women like me are not only women but also female, and have always been female. If that is so, the privileges and protections that society has granted to women—for example, separate sporting events, literary competitions, scholarships, and selection processes such as all-women shortlists—would be ours by right.

But gender identity is not easy to define, let alone prove. Even legislators have been forced into circular reasoning. For example, the state of Massachusetts defines it as “a person’s gender-related identity, appearance or behaviour, whether or not that gender-related identity or behaviour is different from that traditionally associated with the person’s physiology or assigned sex at birth”. This, to me, is not only circular but sexist, as it assesses behaviour against stereotypes.

Legislation recently adopted in Scotland adopts a different philosophy. Rather than declare that trans women had always been female, the Gender Representation on Public Boards Act 2018 redefines the word “woman” to include a person who “is proposing to undergo, is undergoing or has undergone a process for the purpose of becoming female”. Perhaps understandably it does not explain how it is possible for someone to change sex. Nor does it specify the nature of the process.

So can a person born with a male reproductive system become female, or claim to have always been female? And can they support those claims with an argument? If state legislatures cannot define gender identity objectively, there seems little hope for individuals. It is not surprising, then, that trans people react defensively when those claims are challenged. Thankfully, most are more restrained than Ms Wolf, but those seeking to base their rights and protections on their own feelings of self are going to feel that their identities are under threat.

Trans people need better than this. Many feel under siege even where society is liberal and accepting. Feminists can be robust in their approach, but they do have reasonable concerns: women would certainly be affected by a changed legal definition of what it means to be a woman. If future society becomes more conservative and dismissive, the outlook for trans people could become grim. Even if rights and protections are enshrined in law, they have little value if people do not respect them. The requirement to produce objective evidence might be seen by some as an affront to our dignity, but it justifies our claims without relying on our feelings or self-declared identities.

If gender identity is unprovable and adherence to sexist stereotypes is unacceptable, then on what can we base our claims? Unless we deny any commonality between human beings and every other species of mammal, people of the sex class that produce ova are female and those whose sex produces sperm are male, and we need one of each to propagate our species. It might be possible to argue that someone could become female if they change their hormone regime and undergo gender-reassignment surgery: our legal sex is certainly determined initially by a cursory glance at our genitals straight after birth. However, unless we accept that a male person whose hormone levels and sex characteristics are changed against his will also becomes a female person, the argument still rests on feelings.

The only objective measure that remains for dividing humanity in two is biological sex—that is, our role or potential role in the reproduction of our species. But this leaves trans people in a very vulnerable position, and not on the side of the line that they would prefer. Although we can’t change our biological sex, trans people have been living happily in a manner analogous to the opposite sex for many years. In Britain, since the Gender Recognition Act was enacted they have also been able to change their legal sex to protect their privacy and allow them to acquire many of the rights and protections granted to the opposite sex, most notably the right to marry as a member of that sex. They have benefitted and society has benefitted. People more comfortable with themselves are likely to contribute more to society.

The system works because it is based on objective evidence, crucially a clinical diagnosis of gender dysphoria and those medical reports. A medical practitioner testifies that changing legal sex is necessary to promote mental wellbeing. That is priceless in a world where truth is increasingly held to be relative and different people hold different truths. In the trans debate those truths are both contradictory and contentious. If people with male reproductive systems can declare themselves to be trans women, and trans women are women, then female reproductive systems no longer define the class of people known as women. This is tortuous language but necessary at a time when basic definitions are challenged in social media bubbles.

Trans people have to live in the real world, where people do not need tortuous language to distinguish between men and women, and the key evidence is not what's in our heads but what's between our legs. We need more than feelings to counter that. If we abandon the testimony of experts, we may find ourselves at the mercy of whoever shouts loudest.

That is no way to live. It would be better to abandon the push to self-identify legal sex and look for progressive changes that make the process of gender reassignment simpler without damaging its credibility. More generally, we need to be intellectually honest. I am not female and I know that I cannot become female, but I can and do live in a way analogous to the way that women live. I make no claims I cannot justify and my life is better for it.

https://www.economist.com/open-future/2018/07/03/gender-identity-needs-to-be-based-on-objective-evidence-rather-than-feelings