#tfw your friend does his best to be a comfort

[tremorsmackenzie]

could you recommend some fics centered around daisy?

there are unfortunately not that many long ones, most i like are around 2-5k words. there are a lot of those, so im gonna just give a small selection of what i liked best:

sweet words and fevers (1708 words) by chloeswritings Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Agents of SHIELD Team & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Past Lincoln Campbell/Skye | Daisy Johnson - Relationship, Phil Coulson & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Robbie Reyes/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson Characters: Skye | Daisy Johnson, Robbie Reyes, Phil Coulson, Agents of SHIELD Team, Melinda May, Jemma Simmons, Leo Fitz, Lincoln Campbell (mentioned) - Character Additional Tags: quakerider if u squint, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, Hurt Skye | Daisy Johnson, Skye | Daisy Johnson Whump, she doesn’t even have a specific illness she is just generally Feeling Like Shit A Lot, Hurt/Comfort, new tag idea can we start calling ppl chicken tender when they r being Tender and Caring, for example, Phil Coulson is Chicken Tender, Skye | Daisy Johnson's Superpowers, tfw u can physically feel all the vibrations of every single object around u bc u have superpowers, Skye | Daisy Johnson has OCD, Intrusive Thoughts, Sensory Overload, Skye | Daisy Johnson Has ADHD Summary:

Still in her vigilante days, Daisy, Robbie, and Shield have a particularly hard-hitting run-in with the Watchdogs that leaves Daisy injured and reeling. With her guilt and grief still looming tall overhead and her physical and mental health both in a downward spiral, unsteadying plane turbulence does a hell of a lot more damage than it should, and Daisy is forced to wrestle with whether or not she's willing to let a little bit of love in.

[EDIT: archive-locking this bc of the eln msk shit :( ]

this one is great too:

lose your faith in me (4331 words) by chloeswritings Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Lincoln Campbell/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Jemma Simmons & Skye | Daisy Johnson Characters: Skye | Daisy Johnson, Lincoln Campbell, Jemma Simmons, Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie (mentioned) Additional Tags: Lincoln Campbell Lives, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Post-Episode: s03e22 Ascension, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Hurt Skye | Daisy Johnson, Skye | Daisy Johnson has OCD, Intrusive Thoughts, Harm OCD, Avoidance Compulsions, Skye | Daisy Johnson Has ADHD, Skye | Daisy Johnson has PTSD, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Autistic Jemma Simmons, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug, Nightmares, Canon-Typical Violence Summary: Daisy only left her room in short, momentary periods under cover of night, when she was sure that nobody would be there to see her; to poke, prod, and pry, to stare and ask questions she wasn’t ready to answer. OR It’s been a week since they defeated Hive, and even longer since Daisy was freed of Hive’s sway. There is an all-consuming thought that haunts her every second, in tandem with her suffocating guilt, an ever-present hand around her throat always ready to close: she is a danger to the people she loves. Lincoln, having survived the Quinjet’s explosion, tries his best to pull her out of her own head and out of her isolation. Jemma just wants her best friend back.

tbh theyre all kinda dark, hurt/comfort is one of my preferred genres

Who did this to you (1562 words) by ru3ru3 Chapters: 2/? Fandom: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Relationships: Phil Coulson & Melinda May, Phil Coulson & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Jemma Simmons & Skye | Daisy Johnson, Melinda May & Skye | Daisy Johnson Characters: Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson, Melinda May, Jemma Simmons, Leo Fitz, Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie, Yo Yo Rodriguez Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Protective Phil Coulson, Parent Phil Coulson, Parent Melinda May, Melinda May Feels, Phil Coulson & Melinda May are Skye's Parents, Protective Melinda May, Skye | Daisy Johnson Needs a Hug Summary: Daisy hasn't been taking care of herself since she left the team. Coulson finds her.

this is the only one thats a bit longer that ive liked so far:

Safe Inside (17174 words) by VulpeculaAnser Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Characters: Skye | Daisy Johnson, Phil Coulson, Melinda May, Rosalind Price, Alphonso "Mack" Mackenzie, Jemma Simmons, Leo Fitz, Lincoln Campbell, Bobbi Morse, Lance Hunter, Agent Piper (Marvel), Agent Davis (Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.) Additional Tags: Season/Series 03, Early Season/Series 3, Set approximately after 3x08, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Domestic Fluff, Team as Family, Found Family, Headaches & Migraines, Skye | Daisy Johnson's Superpowers, Hurt Skye | Daisy Johnson, Advanced Threat Containment Unit, Bigotry & Prejudice Against Inhumans, Minor Medical Terminology, Implied/Referenced Past Child Abuse, Minor FitzSimmons, Minor Lincoln Campbell/Skye | Daisy Johnson, bus kids friendship, Philindaisy feels Summary: Daisy wasn’t quite sure how it had got to this point. It had started with the team being up in arms about xenophobic ATCU agents being allowed to roam the base, and a migraine triggered by overusing her powers. Then it escalated into May and Coulson pretending to be her parents in front of Price, and her nearly getting shot.

[minarcana]

im having so many urianger thoughts after 3.5 but my usual victims for rambling arent online so i have to talk to the void (make a text post) or the thoughts will not leave me

im at like. close to the end. thinking about urianger at the meeting of the scions purposely having his hood and glasses back and standing at a marked distance from the group until thancred verbally pulls him in. (thinking about how he stands off as an expression of guilt because he is firmly convinced they shouldnt have him here, and probably thinks thancred specifically would be the one most opposed to his presence, because urianger ‘offered payment with coin that was not his to use’ i.e. took away the chance for minfilia’s return as minfilia) (tfw you do something that manages to be commitment to your ideals and action to protect what you care about but at the same time you’re now pretty sure you’ve lost both everyone you know and like and your best surviving friend.)

on one hand hes talked himself into a corner in his own head, ‘this is the only path but my steps upon it are unforgivable’. he gets to commit to action and his beliefs, but still firmly believes he will not be allowed to have friends any more. despite the fact that most reactions he saw after are... not entirely leading toward that belief [urianger voice] i have to overthink literally everything and never say anything about it. clearly i am a criminal. obviously.

matters to me its thancred who drags him back into the group, their friendship matters to me. two guys. this is in its own way a verbalized gripe and verbalized forgiveness (if that’s even the word). clown 2 clown communication. has to be clown to clown communication bc both of them would rather die than say a normal straightforward sentence but i get them im perceiving.

its just!!!! hes doing so much out of care for both his friends and these lets-be-real strangers, but he is also so convinced that what he’s doing, the actions of protecting as many people as possible, will make him alone again!! and he cares so much about people! augh!!! urianger vc well its fine to sacrifice myself (metaphoircally :) ) such is all i can do. i would pay with my own coin if i could. which i cannot stress enough, none of these problems in his brain would exist if he just talked to a person about his plans, but he absolutely the fuck will not learn from this experience. I Grab A Man. I Give Him Complexes.

also i know he goes back to his default outfit but look at me. look at me, look into my eyes. his bullshit hypocrisy in warring triad matters to me and i think about it a lot but i also think about him telling unukalhai it’s fine to show one’s face more among friends and urianger having his full face showing when he talks with hydaelyn. he’s back in the cowl for obvious reasons when he thinks hes not supposed to be among the scions any more but look into my eyes urianger going around with his hood down and goggles as a headband instead of covering his face when he’s at the sands now. look at me this matters to me. it is about seeing/being seen. he’s allowed to have this development as a physicalization. im allowed to say he simply does this. it is a matter of comfort/discomfort around others. and ‘it’s fine to show one’s face among friends’ now.

[arlessia-blessed-eye]

Prowling the streets ; Dreams

I made a new post on my twitter yesterday! : https://twitter.com/DreifusMontauc/status/1594423735830085633

I really enjoy writing dream sequences towards my WoL, if you can’t tell ^-^ I find it a rather interesting tool to reference things to come. And oh....the things to come. Anyways, this post is contains some bloodshed, a good deal of underboob (lol) & some themes one might find unsettling, so if that turns you off, I understand & hope your day is going well! c:

Here is the usual shots from the post itself! I’ll try putting excerpts from the main post in to add some flavor alongside my commentary, but I might just start transcribing the post in it’s entirety here...but that’s a lot more work than I expected.

Before getting some rest in anticipation of the search for Gosetsu & Yugiri, Arlessia says a prayer to Rhalgr, but is compelled to meditate upon her scar. After some flaring pain & shattered memories flash by, she opens her eyes to a different place.

Bacchus. After they clashed for control, Arlessia was forced to partake in a ritual that ended up nearly killing her...but it also nearly destroyed the malicious entity as well, scarring & burning his form beyond immediate recognition. The only thing that allowed her to recognize him was the eye of violet.

He took it personally.

Enter Nemesis. She explains to Bacchus that what he wants, to take control of Arlessia’s body & turn all she hold dear to ash before killing himself...to end his existence, is out of reach. Whatever he does to her will rebound onto him. He can’t exist without her. He then speaks of the ‘before’ (whatever that might be)...begrudgingly of course.

Arlessia & Nemesis speak candidly as Bacchus ‘leaves’ in a flare of violet flames.

“Who are the women in white I keep seeing?”

“You’re not alone in seeing the women in white.” Was her only reply before Arlessia found herself back in her room in Kugane, barely a minute passing.

Archiving the entirety of the interactions in her mind, she then lays down with Sama, calming her partner gently from a nightmare of her past as they slumber for 5 hours.

‘Morning’ Excercises to get limber & talking to Sama about the fugue state interactions with Bacchus & Nemesis-

But something is still bothering her.

"You okay, my love? Is it what we talked about this afternoon?" I asked, her countenance worrying me.

"I...yes. Sorry, it's just this ever present stain...being here. So close to home, but so far from inner peace."

Holding my hands out towards her melancholy became my only focus, I sighed. "It's okay. We do what we can, just so long as we're able to keep moving. I knew from a glance what kind of place this is. Let me ease your doubts, my love." Hesitating to take my hands, she breathed out.

"If the Domans aren't what we expect...if they're a broken people...what will we do?" She asked, looking up at me.

"Then we remind them what it's like to live. To refuse to bow to any master other than one of one's own choosing. What it's like to have culture...music...love."

"Although I know it doesn't help when I say this, this fight is inevitable. We can but have faith that our brothers & sisters in Yanxia haven't lost all faith in their fellow man yet. But if that takes us to the Azim steppe...you will have closure, at the very least." I finished-her closing her eyes.

Taking a deep breath as she thought, when she turned her gaze back up to me before taking my hands lovingly, a smile come back across her face. "And it comforts me knowing you'll be there every step. Come, let's get prepared." As she rose, I giggled & hugged her. "I love you."

"I love you too, Arlessia." She said, her skin quickly getting flush as we quickly worked to get kitted in our combat gear. "Akavi & I are to watch the streets whilst you & Lyse ask around, right?" She asked, me nodding while pulling my coat on. "Aye. Call us if you see them."

TFW you get paired together with one of your best friends for a group project~

My main motivation for writing & posing this conversation at the Shiokaze Holstery was based around this: Kotokaze obviously knows what the information is worth. Arlessia obviously knows how things work in the underbelly of any city she might find herself in.

It’s like a circling standoff that ends with a deal being struck & the two parties shaking hands. I love that.

"What's with the booze? Don't tell me it's to 'celebrate' once we find them?"

"No, actually. I plan on their 'laws of hospitality' for that!" I said, laughing heartily before casting a look around. "It's insurance. I'll handle half of these names, you handle the rest, hm? How's that strike you, Lyse?" I asked honestly after a moment. Smirking she nodded.

"I'm fine with it. Meet you back at the Holstery? Good luck...and keep safe." She said, clasping my arm in a sisterly way before running off after giving the names & a sketch. Walking towards the southern docks where I would find the captains on my list, I glanced over. I noticed the woman who had been watching our conversation with Hancock walk out the Shiokaze before turning suddenly to the teahouse. I would have to watch my step. Continuing to the south again, I found the first captain on my list outside the boat launch. A man of Thavnair.

F#ck this guy lmao

"Passengers? No. We no longer offer that service. Too much trouble. We only transport goods. I told this to the samurai and sent him on his way."

"Did he mention anything about any other options to cross? What of the other?"

"The woman? Pah." He began, his eyes shined hungrily as he looked at my chest. "If it is women you seek, the pleasure houses have plenty. You may even find employment. Looking at him whilst my anger flared, I kept my daggers sheathed. Sighing, I settled on spitting in the bay.

"That explains everything, being as there is no way in hell you'd find yourself lucky with me, never mind keeping your balls 'twixt your legs, short-stop. Piss off." I seethed, turning & walking away as he recoiled at my venom. Making my way through the market streets, I fumed.

What’s this?

A surprise reunion with another of her besties? I figured this is a nice tool to loop in the 60-70 rogues questline further into the story. Obviously I’ll need to lead with the Scion storyline, but occasionally returning to this could be fun.

"We've yet to hear anything from the preening fool! I can't take this anymore!" Jacke yelled below the walkway I was walking on. Turning with a throw of his arms, he groaned in clear frustration. "The mort's got V'kebbe, Underfoot, & Miss Yuki in his clutches...& we're waiting on a letter?!"

Oboro sighed at the outburst. "Guildmaster, master yourself! There is no use raving against what we yet cannot change! We need to conscript Arlessia's skills! There is no way to protect the mudra of summoning & our comrades without her blades!" He said, trying to calm my friend.

"Oboro is right, Jacke. We NEED her help." Tsubame said gently, which made him sigh sadly.

"Yet, last we spat wids with her, she was going to mill for her home's freedom...with the news of the slaughter of Rhalgr's Reach...s-she may be..." He began as I sat upon the crate.

"Jacke...I-" Tsubame began, the words dying in her throat as I walked silently between her & Oboro, who nearly pulled steel as I shushed him quiet.

"Nay, it's me. I'm a ol' fool worried about 'is friend. Forget I spat anything. We need to pick apart the crow's wids to free 'em."

Planting my hands heavily unto his shoulders, I spoke slowly but with the utmost care. "You're worried about who, now? Captain Jacke Swallow, Head of the Dutiful sisters? You're such a sap!" I said with a cocky smile as he freezed the moment my hands squeezed his shoulders.

After a moment he spun, ripping his shoulders out of my hands as he stuttered. "A-Arlessia!? What're ye doin here in Kugane!? I-I..." He began, at which I crossed my arms with a chuckle.

"I heard it all, you big softie. I'm touched you were worried so for my safety, brother."

"Ach...ye got me. What happened? I heard-" He began, at which I simply placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Yes, the Reach. It's true. The Garleans came down hard. I barely scraped by with my life, thanks to my fellow Scions." I said, taking a couple steps away before turning back.

"As for why I'm here, me, Sama & a number of Scions have volunteered to come in the hopes of finding some associates of ours. Our efforts in Gyr Abania have all but stalled...so this is our only option. To divide the attention of the XIIth legion."

"Divide & conquer. Bene plan."

As Jacke said that, he brought his hand to his chin. "But, what is yer plan from here? As ye heard, we could use yer damber stabbers to free our morts."

"Yeah, that is partly why I volunteered, because of the Karasu problem...but we're actually bound for Doma. To free her."

Saying this, Oboro & Tsubame's jaws dropped in shock.

"Free...Doma!? To help our people?" He sputtered.

"Aye. The associates of ours we're looking for are Yugiri Mistwalker & a Gosetsu-"

“Daito. Gosetsu Daito, retainer to Lord Kaien...general of the rebellion. We know him."

"Have you seen them?" I asked, which Oboro shook his head before looking to Tsubame.

"Nay, I haven't. I'd heard tell of a Roegadyn Samurai, but I mistook it for one of Karasu's new henchmen. Warriors of the 'Garnet League'-disgraced samurai who fled the XIIth's wrath." She said.

"Well, that is a shame. What of your efforts? How did the others get involved & captured?" I asked.

"Well...to begin we needed assistance with regaining the scroll once we arrived & found out the Garnet League's involvement. We did end up getting it back with your friend's help." As he said this, Oboro produced it from his kimono's sleeve. As I looked upon it, the markings were reminiscent of Karasu's summoning mudras.

"Is that...?" I began, eliciting a nod from him.

"The mudra of summoning. Karasu seeks it for a Hingan master...thus the abduction."  Placing it back inside the sleeve, Jack & Tsubame both stepped forwards.

"Jacke believed it belongs with the privateers that 'cloyed' it from the Garnet League to begin with, Oboro & I said it belongs in Doma. We...argued. In that span, Yuki, V'kebbe & Underfoot were taken."

Nodding, Jack looked apologetically. "Aye. Then the mad, grinnin' fool came here to boast before saying he'd 'be in touch'. We're waitin' in the darkmans now." Sighing, I was quiet for a moment before I looked up.

"I want to help. Though matters here in Kugane are time limited."

As I said this, Oboro chuckled, which was really out of character for him. "But nevertheless, I will be there." I turned, pointing. "See that building? That's the East Aldenard Trading Company. We are working alongside the merchant Hancock. Send a missive to him. He will notify me when you need me."

"East Aldenard, eh? Lolorito has an interest in your success?"

"I only assume so. Hancock has been notified to spare no measure to assist us." Looking back to my shinobi mentors, I smiled. "But that being said, my duty to my mentors & friends is important to me. I'll be there."

Turning, I cast a glance back to Jacke. "Try not to get into too much trouble Jacke...the rogues can't afford to lose you. Plus, I'd kick your ass back to life if you croaked it." I said, him laughing at my banter.

"Ye know me better than that, sister." He said, clasping my arm in a familial way.

"Arlessia, wait-" Oboro then said as I took a step. He placed a hand on my shoulder. "Thank you. For going to war for my people. To dare...to hope. If you are victorious, every Doman true to their homeland will be indebted to you. This fool among them. Make me proud, my student."

"This isn't goodbye...but I will try to do your faith justice, Master. Now, I must away. Inform me when Karasu has sent his challenge. He won't expect it." I said, shaking his hand. Taking up the bundled jar of sake, I walked out of the alley into the main road by the aetheryte.

Keeping my gaze down to the cobbles as I lowered my presence as much as possible, I glanced right as I neared the teahouse. That woman, again. My heart beating faster as I felt her gaze upon me, I readied myself...but I kept from acting just yet. I had expected this. 

Approaching the stairs, I saw a stumbling drunk in the distance. He would be the patsy. Walking steadily towards him, I knew the woman had begun to follow me. Her intent was readable from my echo, an aching feeling of murderous calm rebuffing off my mind. Not long now.

"'Scuse me." I said, garnering the man's fractured attention.

"Yesh? Wha...Wha ish it?" He slurred, his rose tinted cheeks sluggish as he stumbled on the spot.

"Nothing much. I have a job for you, if you desire. I'll give you this FULL bottle of Sake for your troubles..."  Looking past me to the bottle slung behind me, he then looked back to my eyes, all four of them.

"Alright...I-I'll do it. What do you...need?" He then asked. Smiling at his malleability, I chuckled.

"I need you to distract the woman following me. Green Kimono. Cause a scene."

"Yesh ma'am! Now gimme that sweet, sweet Sake..." He slurred, reaching for it. Handing it over, I nodded. 

"It's all yours." I said, jumping into a sprint as he disposed of his empty bottle, slung his new one & began stumbling towards the spectacled woman as she gave chase.

"Oi-You doin' anything later, lovely? I'd love to see you out of that beautiful getup & on your back, gah heh heh!" He laughed, stopping her directly.

"Out of the way, idiot!" She yelled as I ran to the Shiokaze whilst weaving a stealth incantation. Disappearing before entry.

"Lyse! Come on! We leave out the second floor!" I said, catching her off guard as I brought her into my veil. 

"Wha?! What's happen-" She began, but seeing the look in my eyes, she then nodded. "Got it. Just...make it quick." Moments later, the woman charged into the Shiokaze. Whipping her head around, she scanned the first floor for a moment before sprinting up the stairs, pulling a dagger from her sleeve before she reached the first seating area up the stairway. Waiting for the moment, she ran right past me. 

Snarling out a breath, I then grabbed her.

Shocked that she was being grabbed by nothing, her dagger grip loosened enough for me to disarm her & plunge her own shiv into her right breast three times down to the hilt with measured precision. With the third strike, I left the dagger in her chest before snapping her neck.

Sure to set the body up by shoving it neck first into the railing, I rifled through her pockets as she fumbled around with her hands. They eventually found the blade in her chest as I took a small badge & sprinted away, the last sight of this agent being her sclera bleeding red.

Making my escape as patrons ran down & up to assist the dying woman, I made for the bridge exit upon the second floor. Running through the door, I released my veil as I sat against the railing next to Lyse. "Now, tell me-what happened?!" She asked, at which I produced the badge.

Emblazoned with the sigil of the Garlean Empire, I spat in disgust before throwing it over my shoulder into the canal. Looking to her, I took a few more deep breaths. "Garlean agent-No doubt instructed to kill either you or me. I made it look like an accident as much as I could. Did your questioning work out? I have nothing save that Gosetsu asked around alone." I said, at which she smiled.

"Well, I found a talking catfish by the name of Gyodo that claims he saw both Gosetsu & Yugiri before taking them across the Ruby Sea!" She said. "A...catfish?"  As I said this, I took a final breath with my eyes closed before rising to a stand. "If he tells the truth, it could be a break...but are you certain he speaks true?" I then asked Lyse, who looked forth uncertainly.

"I...uh...no. But what other choice to do we have?" She replied. Nodding, I placed a hand upon her shoulder, seeing she wasn't expecting my doubt.

"No-I understand. We're flying blind. But we go into this with eyes open, aye? Let's go tell the others." I said, looking across the bridge. "Act natural. We leave through the Shiokaze." I directed.

Nodding to me, we then walked back through the doors, descending down towards the situation below. Approaching the huddle, I acted surprised at the scene.

"What happened to her?" I asked one of the men preparing to move her.

"She ran in here after being accosted by a drunk." Draping a red blanket over her, he looked up to me with a grim look. "Was in so much of a hurry that she tripped, breaking her neck & falling onto her dagger. What a tradgedy, hm?"He finished, looking back.

"Aye what a shame. I saw her earlier today...what a beautiful creature."  Gesturing to Lyse to continue down, a pair of Sekiseigumi rushed past.

"Well done." She said as we watched them run up to the scene.

"Thanks. Come, let's not tarry. The Garleans will know she's dead by morning." I said, the two of us walking back to where our allies waited us.

/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/

[strywoven-moved]

@moon-hollowed​ asked : ❛ you don’t wanna know. ❜ | ( Lea )

PROMPTED.

         There is a slight WINCE at the words ; Lea does not take well to being closed out / shut off by the people close to him , this was no exception.  His voice comes out as a grumble , a halfhearted retort all but weakly thrown at the Diviner’s retreating backside , “Well , I wouldn’t’ve asked if I DIDN’T wanna know. . .”  It was easy to be offended – they were BEST FRIENDS , they were always so forthcoming with each other which made situations like these all the harder to swallow.  Even so , Lea understands there is a quiet suffering in Isa , and that was something he couldn’t simply absolve the other of ( no matter how many instances he has tried ) .

          A hand reaches back to rub at his nape , his feet unrooting themselves as Lea hastens to follow beside him.  “Isa,” Lea begins , a tone rather q u i e t – lacking its typical levity and liveliness.  “I k n o w you , I k n o w when things get bad.  Believe me , I GET it.  More than - more than I’d like t’ admit.”  For a few moments the words remain ‘tween them ; he was never very good at these conversations , was he ?  Ironically , it always seemed Isa was better equipped to handle these situations.  Head tilts away from the path ahead of them , emerald gaze fixated on his friend’s stoic features.  Despite the sober moment , Lea s m i l e s .  The redhead shifts , leaning a bit to try and catch the other’s eye from behind the veil of blue tresses which seemed to try and separate them.  “But I also know what it’s like t’not wanna talk ‘bout any of it.  And I get that this isn’t my forte - not by a long-shot - but I wanna do what I can , if it means I c a n do somethin’.  That’s what friends’re for , right ?”

[blorbosondeck]

fic rec masterlist

canon divergent/finale fix its

Anamnesis

THIS! FIC! this fic lives in my head rent FREE it is so good and it makes so much sense in the narrative that the shitty finale concocted, as to why they wouldn't mention cas or anyone else and its just. so good and they write chuck in the most villainous way that i love!!!

"Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be. Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19."

Sunset Sound: Stairway to Heaven by @adhdeancas

GOD FUCKING CHRIST this is so good and sweet and im such a sucker for team ups and reunions!!! its 3:30 am rn and i just finished it and i love it SO much it made me laugh a lot and the last few chapters i had the stupidest grin just plastered to my face

The Closer the Star, the Greater the Parallax by @rocksalts​

repressed bastard dean submits to the mortifying ordeal of being known and receives the rewards of being loved but only after some miscommunication i LOVE this i read it last night and it’s a fast favorite. my interests have overlapped and i am INTO it

“When Dean sits down to watch some bullcrap Discovery Channel episode with Cas, he doesn’t expect to actually learn anything. Except, with Cas explaining, he makes an effort to connect the dots.”

Don't We All Deserve To Be Happy?

VERY sweet and a VERY good pick me up. all around feel good fic!!! 

"Post-canon fix-it, divergent from 15x19 where Jack stays and Dean doesn't die and Cas comes back and everyone is happy. Take a shot every time I'm salty about the finale."

Keep Your Love Alive

okay. okay okay okay this may be my favorite finale fix it just because of how well reasoned it is. like this feels what should have happened i love it SO much

"Dean gets to spend eternity sharing beers with Bobby on the Roadhouse porch and riding around in his Baby with Sam. He’s at peace… or he feels like he should be. But a few things nag at him: Where is Cas, and everybody else Dean had been hoping to see in Heaven? Why does he feel like he’s stuck in a loop, reliving the same memories over and over again? And who are the strangers wearing Sam’s and Bobby’s faces?"

The GoldenRod Revisions by @aethylas​

this is one of the most well written things ive ever read. the script format DID make it feel more real and honestly? this is better writing than this show deserves. the finale that could have been ♥️

“A rewrite of Supernatural’s final two episodes, expanded into a five episode arc - in which Chuck needs to be defeated, Castiel deserves to be saved, and the characters in this story get a very different ending.“

Ascend by @wanderingcas​ 

THEE finale fix it fic!!! written by the AMAZINGLY skilled and talented @wanderingcas !!! it’s 50k of angst and hurt/comfort and pure bliss

“Something in the world is wrong.

Demon activity is rising where mysterious black substance oozes and unusual ecological events are shaking the world. Dean, grief hanging on his shoulders, restlessly searches for answers that might lead him to the Empty… and to Cas.

But what Chuck wrote can’t be undone. The narrative thread pulls Dean along, forcing him to comply. Because once a story already has an ending, it can’t be rewritten.

Or can it?”

Things Happen (They Do, And They Do, And They Do) by THEE @sobsicles

i KNOW everyone has already recommended this and likely you’ve all already read it. but it has to go here bc REPRESSIOOOOOOOOON i LOVE this so much it is one of the most perfect things i’ve read. are you bisexual? did you have a kind of weird relationship with your best friend and not realize that how you felt about them wasn’t necessarily how other people felt about them and you were maybe a little bit in love with them but were too repressed to realize it? you’ll feel seen. maybe a little too seen

Closer (isn't close enough)

are you a sweet and sappy yet horny bastard? do you like cas exploding light bulbs? you will like this.

“the one where they finally talk about what cas said before the empty took him”

You and Your Husband

it is exTRMELY sweet!!! repression dean strikes again <3

"Five times Dean corrects someone about his relationship with Cas, and one time he realizes he doesn't need to."

Tall Grass

miscommunication and a slowburn! despite being written in 2017 and finished in 2018, it feels like a fix it. ft. plant obsessed cas <3 

Invictus

a LOVELY and short (relatively) finale fix it

“They saved the world. They're free. It's done.

Except it's not, and carrying on is the last thing any of them are thinking about.

They still have someone they need to save.”

Unchained Link

post finale- it’s a great case fic and i am compelled i want more!!!

"It's after the end of things. Life continues on while Dean is "livin it up" in heaven. But it's never that simple, is it? A freak occurrence sends Dean into another time stranded back on Earth. And he thought his hunting days were over. But, no worries. His knight in shining armor comes to the rescue. Hijinks, therefore, ensue."

fun and time unspecified

Ladies and Gentlemen, This is Love Potion No. 5

very funny and sweet! miscommunication at its finest ♥️

"Cas gets drenched with a mystery potion from the ‘love spell’ shelf and... Dean has a sneaking suspicion, angel or no— the spell may have taken effect. And Cas might be in love with Sam."

The Way We Were

Y'all. It is so good its a great mix of funny and serious- extremely fun to see dean as like a base bisexual

"Dean and Castiel pose as a couple to gain access to a gated community known as 'The Glen', a pleasant if secretive location that the boys believe might be linked to several dead bodies showing up over the years bearing signs of ritualistic sacrifice. All seems well until Dean's memory is affected from an incident during a solo exploration, leaving Dean convinced that their cover story is true. Castiel is left trying to resolve their case without taking advantage of an increasingly enthusiastic Dean"

While You Were Sleeping

this is basically just the movie but replacing sandra bullock with cas. this is my comfort movie and imo, one of the most perfect rom coms. the fic isn’t finished but i still have the tab open on my phone and i will straight up go back and re read it when i need a pick me up. 

aus/rewrites

The Harvelle Gospels: Offscript

i know everyone ever ( @jewishcharliebradbury ) has recommended this fic. and for good reason go fucking read it

“The Apocalypse is averted, the angels are in Heaven, and Jo is free from the threat of possession. Somehow it couldn't be farther from a happy ending.“

absolute riots

An Ineffably Profound Bond

i honestly would have put this in the finale fix it section! look. i know. i know you've been burned by crossover fics before. but this is Thee good omens/spn fic you want. its funny as hell and immensely satisfying. im weak for everyone working together tropes and that is this

"After Chuck sets 'The End' in motion, the remaining members of TFW make a miraculous escape. Not willing to waste any time, Castiel comes up with a plan to travel to one of the other worlds to try and get help from the angels there, but after a fight with Dean, it's the hunter who gets sent into an alternate universe,with seemingly no hope of return.

When a mysterious human with a heavenly weapon shows up in Aziraphale's shop, he and Crowley learn that their world is not the only one. Now it is up to them to decide whether or not they want to join forces with the human and help him save his world or simply find a way to send him home."

Somebody Up There Likes Me by @lafilleredige

cas is hit with a spell that turns his vessel into a woman, hijinks and sexuality crises ensue etc etc sam is a supportive and bitchy little brother and its all SO fucking funny and also. horny as hell i love it i love it i LOVE it

“’Dean doesn’t want to talk about your breasts, it’s making him uncomfortable because he hasn’t acknowledged the complex fluidity of human sexuality.’“

Stray Cat Strut

a long crack fic that IS one of the funniest things i’ve ever read and i can’t explain why. it’s so ooc but its so funny that i don’t care. if you need a laugh you gotta read this

"Sam and Cas are immediately in love with the adorable kitty they find outside the bunker door, and occupy their time planning how to convince Dean--who they believe is off sulking after a botched hunt--to let them keep their cat. Along the way, Dean learns to use a litter box and hears some confessions he maybe wasn’t supposed to hear, all while realizing just how much he loves Castiel.

Now all Dean has to do is convince Cas and Sam their new pet cat is actually him before they do something crazy--like neuter him!"

canon compliant or slight canon divergence

Give

by @doublestuffedimpala post season 7 episode 7, kind of ambiguous ending but truly a cas is happy to bleed for the winchesters fic

Punch Like Bones 

short, post 5x04 homoerotic moment that i wish we’d gotten

[artanogon]

Might be a tad late but I'd like to hear about your Wels and demon Impulse stuff 👉👈

you’re not late at all, dw!

okay so this gets a little convoluted but we’ll do our best to try and explain it clearly. basically, impulse is an escaped archdevil from hels who joined hermitcraft, which has always welcomed divine runaways like him and grian. his natural form has devil’s wings, devil’s horns, grey skin and glowing blue eyes, and is much taller than his already tall disguised human form. we have a fic that kinda explains his deal with how he stays disguised that’s in the works

and he ended up doing something kind of similar with wels back in team STAR before he ever became the patron of boatem. bc wels, in our headcanons, is basically the equivalent of a paladin who has magical abilites and knight’s training, the first one obtained through deals with deities. during the s6 war, when battles started happening, he was concerned about not having enough abilities to help the rest of them. impulse, both genuinely helpful and seeing an opportunity, approached wels with the offer for him to be his vessel. wels deliberated a bit but ultimately accepted and became impulse’s champion

which means that he has the ability to call on impulse at any needed time and channel the powers of hels to a certain degree. it gives him continued magical powers, better fighting abilities, and bolsters his health and abilities over all. if that comes with the minor downside that he’s technically sold his soul, that’s neither here nor there

this patron deal also helped lead to the creation of helsknight in s7. because helsknight, while he’s still a replica of all of welsknight’s negative side, also gained magical ability and a connection with the hels dimension thanks to some of impulse’s magic transferring in the cloning. this made hels immensely more powerful. however, it also helped wels defeat him in the duel/rap battle because wels was experienced with hels dimension power and could counter it with his own better powers

(impulse does not have a clue there is a double of his friend running around and siphoning off his magic)

in s8, the two of them ended up starting ywc because wels has massive angel’s wings obtained in a previous patron deal and there’s absolutely no way he’s giving them up. impulse, who has his own deep magic devil wings, agrees he’s not giving his up either and the two of them decided to do something about it. their club is just a club in name as of right now, but the club is also set up so that all of those signed up are technically under impulse’s command, which bolsters impulse’s powers and also theirs by default. this gives them a leg up if the conflict between the pro-wings and anti-wings factions of hermitcraft were ever to go to war. never let it be said these two don’t go hard on stuff

tl;dr: tfw you approach your homie during a time of war and get him to be your demonic champion so you can exist comfortably on the moral plane and you both get some sick perks

[darter-blue]

tfw you wake up accidentally married to a superhero

stucky - shrunkyclunks - total fluff...

Read it here on ao3

Or part one, two, three, four and five on tumblr

Part 6:

Steve...

Steve can’t quite believe that this is real. There’s something magical about the way Bucky is looking up at him. There’s something overwhelmingly honest in his affection. Steve wants to kiss him again. But the music has stopped and the confetti is no longer falling and Scott is clearing his throat and, well, this is probably not the time or place for Steve to lose the last shred of his control.

‘Boys, boys, boys!’ Mavis is cooing, clapping her hands, ‘You did it!’

‘We did it,’ Bucky says softly, smiling quietly, eyes shining up at Steve.

‘We did,’ Steve says. Totally unnecessarily. But words have never been his forte. Steve’s life is always about action. He got so used to people not listening to him. Before the serum, after the serum… nobody listens to Steve’s words.

But they pay attention to his actions.

Bucky has done nothing but listen to him tonight. Everything Steve said Bucky has heard. Bucky has answered Steve’s words with actions, had pulled him forwards into activity after activity. Has interpreted all of Steve’s clumsy musings with a perception that almost defies logic.

Steve so rarely gets to let anyone else take the helm. Very rarely would ever trust anyone to do so.

But he trusts Bucky.

His stormy blue eyes and the warmth of his touch and the way his voice wraps around Steve like a blanket to keep him safe. Familiar. Beautiful.

And now...

Now he’s family.

‘Scott, kiddo, we need you to sign this for us,’ Mavis says, pulling Scott away from where he’s awkwardly standing behind Bucky and Steve at the altar. ‘You boys too, we need signatures and then you can run away to your room for the real celebration!’

Mavis’s glee is exuberant and seemingly infinite. But she makes an interesting point.

No they have the rest of the night to themselves. As a newly married couple. Which he guesses makes this the honeymoon…

He’s certainly no expert on marriage or relationships of any kind… but that's typically a pretty exciting period of time…

Steve may or may not be panicking about the ramifications of what that means for both of them.

He doesn’t have that much experience doing this since he’s had the serum… Fumbling around in a tent with a sergeant after a long day tracking through enemy territory… maybe getting hands on each other, mouths at most…

He hasn’t done that for a while. And he’s never had time, or even the inclination, to worship someone, to take his time, to discover enough about someone to give them everything they want.

He’s not even sure he knows how to do that.

‘You’re thinking too hard,’ Bucky says, placing a gentle finger between Steve’s eyebrows, ‘Come sign the papers Stevie, and then we can talk about what’s worrying you.’

Steve is hit again by how much he can’t believe this is real, that Bucky can see his hesitation, knows him already.

Too much of that disbelief must be evident in his expression though, because Bucky takes his finger away and stands up straight, taking his weight off Steve’s arms, ‘Unless you're freaking out? Are you freaking out?’ Bucky’s hand slides down Steve’s arm and slows as it reaches his forearm, grips it with comfort. ‘We haven’t signed anything yet Steve, it’s not too late to change your mind.’

‘I haven’t,’ Steve says, sharp, shaking his head hard and fast, ‘I would never.’

‘Are you sure?’

‘I’ve never been more sure about anything in my life.’

Bucky reaches up to kiss him again, fiercely, pushing up into Steve’s chest and gripping his arms. Steve kisses back like a desperate man, forgetting again that they have people waiting on them, that they need to be getting out of the way.

Forgetting about anything and everything but the taste of Bucky, the sweetness, the hint of sugar on his tongue, the saltiness of the sweat on his lips. He’s lost in the sensation.

‘You two lovebirds better get up here and sign this so it's official!’ Mavis is laughing at them, Steve can hear it.

Bucky pulls back and almost falls, Steve has to grab him to stop him from falling backwards. ‘Oops,’ Bucky says with a grin, ‘We better get up there.’

‘Gotta make it official,’ Steve says. He can feel the answering grin on his own face.

‘Good, good,’ Mavis says as Steve and Bucky make their way up to sign the paperwork, ‘let me get this all officiated for you and you can come and pick them up with your album in the morning,’ Mavis takes the signed papers from them and shuffles them into a folder, ‘Take your rings, take this,’ she gives them each a glass of champagne Steve didn’t even see her pour, ‘go thank your witness and get out of my chapel, I’ll see you tomorrow.’

‘Thank you so much, Mavis,’ Bucky says, pulling away from Steve to wrap Mavis in a hug, very nearly spilling his champagne down her back. ‘You’re wonderful.’

‘Oh, well,’ Mavis says as Bucky lets her go, a pretty pink blush creeping into her peach cheeks, ‘you two have been an absolute delight.’

‘Thanks Mavis,’ Steve says, reaching out to shake her hand, ‘we’ll see you in the morning.’

‘You better!’ Mavis turns away, waving over her head at them and heading out to the office at the back with their paperwork.

Bucky tips his head back and drinks the entire glass of alcohol in one pull, gesturing for Steve to do the same, ‘We’ll leave the glasses here,’ he says, setting his down on a console near the doors, ‘down the hatch, Stevie.’

Steve looks down at his glass and shrugs, tips it back and drinks it down in three mouthfuls. He looks back at Bucky, rosy cheeked and laughing and has the overwhelming desire to kiss him again, slower, and longer and without the audience.

‘I ah,’ Scott says, clearing his throat again as he sidles up to them, ‘I should get your number, you know, so I can send you the video.’

‘Oh, good idea!’ Bucky says, and they set their heads together while Steve stands back and watches.

Once they have their numbers exchanged and Bucky has laughed at the pictures, he pulls Steve in closer, sets Scott in the middle of them, their arms around him.

‘Quick selfie,’ Bucky says, holding his phone out and snapping a photo, the three of them in their matching t-shirts and matching grins.

‘Thank you, Scott.’ Steve says, clapping him on the back.

‘Anytime, Cap, anytime. Literally. Call me and I’ll be there. Whatever you need.’

‘Yep, yes,’ Steve says, shaking Scott’s outstretched hand and then stepping back, ‘I’ll ah, I’ll be in touch.’

‘You were wonderful too, Scott,’ Bucky says, pulling a happy Scott into a hug, ‘thank you so much.’

‘You’re welcome, Bucky. It was my pleasure.’

‘We should get going though,’ Steve says, wrapping a hand around Bucky’s, ‘It was lovely to meet you Scott.’

‘Right, yes, big night for you!’ Scott puts his arms out as he takes a step back, ‘You know, wedding night, ah…’ he trips on a fold in the carpet and does a little backwards hop, ‘epic romance and ah… you know,’ he goes to make a gesture with his hands but stops mid way, ‘yeah I better,’ he sticks his thumb over his shoulder, ‘leave you to it.’

‘Thank you, Scott,’ Steve says again, his voice probably coming off a little more authoritative than he intended.

Bucky is laughing into Steve’s shoulder, and the feel of his warm breath on the thin material of his T-shirt is very distracting. He hardly notices that Scott is gone, or that they’ve reached the open doors and are now back into the hustle and bustle of the Casino.

‘So um,’ Bucky pulls away from him enough to look up into Steve’s face, ‘I may or may not be sharing a room with my best friend, who may or may not have someone up there with her right now…’

‘Oh, I have a room all to myself,’ Steve says quickly grabbing Bucky by the hand, ‘would you… I mean, if that’s okay?’

‘Sounds great,’

‘Okay it’s this way,’ Steve pulls Bucky towards the elevators, ‘Do you need anything?’

‘I have everything I need,’ Bucky says with a smile, looking Steve up and down and biting his lip. ‘Maybe more than I know what to do with, to be honest.’

Steve has to huff a laugh at that. And the idea that Bucky might also be feeling a little overwhelmed by the physical connotations of the decision they’ve just made eases a tightness in Steve’s chest.

‘We can take it as slow as you like, Buck.’

And Bucky is nodding his head. ‘Slow is good, I can do slow.’

There seem to be even more people out on the casino floor than earlier, and Steve is careful to pull Bucky through them gently, not bumping or knocking or accidentally treading on anyone, ever conscious of how much heavier his step is than it used to be, how much damage he could cause with a moment of carelessness.

It’s enough to pull all of his focus, and they’re at the elevators before he has a chance to think to panic about anything else.

Bucky leans forward and pushes the button to go up.

When the doors open, at least five other people shuffle into the elevator with them. Too drunk or too wrapped up in their own conversations to pay much attention to Bucky and Steve as they move all the way to the back and lean against the railing. Hands held gently between them.

‘What floor?’ someone asks over their shoulder as the doors close, and then balks as he catches Steve’s eye. ‘Ah… Sir.’

Steve looks down at Bucky as he answers, ‘Ten.’ and squeezes his hand.

Bucky squeezes back.

‘Ten. Ten. Sure.’ The guy presses ten and then looks back over his shoulder at Steve and nods his head, eyes wide. ‘You’re ah… you seem bigger in real life, you know.’

‘I have heard that,’ Steve says, smiling tightly at the guy and then looking back at Bucky to gauge his reaction.

Bucky is looking between him and the passenger with a raised eyebrow, his brow furrowed, but he doesn't say anything. Just squeezes Steve’s hand again, and Steve lets out his held breath, squeezing Bucky back.

The last of the other passengers shuffle out at the fifth floor, glancing curious looks back at Steve, and the doors close behind them, leaving Bucky and Steve alone. Bucky stretches forward, pulling Steve’s hand with him, and pulls the emergency stop on the elevator.

‘Okay,’ he says, turning back to Steve, ‘what was that?’

Steve shrinks into his shoulders as Bucky stalks towards him, leans back into the railing of the elevator until he hears it crack.

‘Shit.’

‘Steve!’ Bucky says, looking behind him at the cracked railing and then up at Steve’s no doubt very sheepish expression, ‘what’s going on?’

‘Okay, so, I can explain this,’ Steve starts, carefully moving away from the railing and towards Bucky, keeping their hands joined, not wanting to stop touching him, ‘I ah… when I said my name is Steve Rogers…’

‘It’s not?’

‘Oh, no, it definitely is. That’s the problem.’

‘What’s the problem?’ Bucky asks, frown deeply etching into his forehead.

‘That’s me, I’m Steve Rogers.’

‘Yes, you said that…’

‘Steve Rogers, like Captain America.’

‘Captain America's name is Steve Rogers too?’

Steve can’t help but laugh, Bucky looks so quizzical, so adorably confused.

‘Yes Buck, his name, my name… I’m Steve Rogers and Captain America.’

‘Oh,’ Bucky says, narrowing his eyes, ‘ohhh.’ His eyes widen and he looks Steve up and down again. ‘Huh.’ he says, nodding, ‘I mean yeah… that makes total sense. I can see that.’

‘Are you… okay? Are you mad?’ Steve asks, he can feel his shoulders up around his ears.

‘Mad? Why would I be mad?’ Bucky steps closer, peering up into Steve’s face, ‘Steve, why would I be mad?’

‘I lied to you?’

‘You didn’t,’ Bucky says, shaking his head, stepping even closer, lifting a hand up under Steve’s chin and lifting it from where it’s burrowing in between Steve’s collar bones, ‘You told me your name was Steve-Steve Rogers, was that a lie?’

Steve huffs a surprised laugh. ‘No.’

‘Then when did you lie?’

‘I didn’t tell you, I knew you didn’t recognise me, and I didn’t say anything.’

‘Listen, Stevie, if I went around telling everyone that didn’t recognise me, that I was a guest mechanic on that show one time where they custom build motorcycles for people who have too much money, I’d look nuts.’

‘Yeah but-’

‘No buts. It’s your job right?’

‘I mean, in a very simplified sense, yes.’

‘Uh huh, well, let's be real simple, you’re a superhero, I’m a mechanic,’ Bucky moves so close to Steve that his chest is pressed up against Steve’s. Steve can feel his heart beat through the point where their bodies meet, ‘we’re married, and we get to spend the rest of our lives figuring out if it's crazier to be married to a guy who gets emotional over a cracked magneto rotor or a guy who fights crime for a living.’

‘It’s not really crime-’

Bucky puts a palm over Steve’s mouth to muffle him. He’s looking at him with the sort of fondness that Steve has never known. Has only read about. And then his mouth quirks, and his eyebrow lifts and his gaze switches from warm to hot as he crowds into Steve’s space. ‘Steve, shut up and kiss me, okay?’

Steve doesn’t waste any time. He grabs Bucky by the thighs, flips them around and lifts him against the wall.

Bucky’s legs wrap around Steve like its instinct and his arms fly up to grip Steve by the back of the neck. ‘Oh wow,’ he reaches up to meet Steve’s mouth as Steve reaches down to kiss him. ‘You can’t be real.’

‘I’ve been thinking the same thing about you all night,’ Steve whispers, breathing the words into Bucky’s mouth between kisses.

Steve can feel that he’s hard, and that his dick is trapped between them as he presses Bucky further and further into the wall. ‘Oh wow,’ Bucky says with a sharp intake of breath.

‘Sorry,’ Steve says, not pulling back far enough from the kisses to give the word any real feeling.

‘I think you mispronounced, “you’re welcome”,’ Bucky laughs, rocking his hips up against Steve’s erection and ringing a gasp out of both of them.

‘I need to get you up to the room,’ Steve says, trying to grasp at his self control, ‘need to get this elevator going again before they send a search party up here.’

‘I guess we can’t have you turning up on TMZ wrecking your new husband in an elevator, huh?’

Steve has to close his eyes to that image, to the idea of just ripping Bucky open against the wall like this, of tearing into him, biting and licking and fucking and taking and Bucky giving himself over. It’s so much, it's too much, and Steve has to pull back, has to count down from five to get some of his control back.

‘Hey, hey, hey, you’re okay, we’re okay,’ Bucky is saying, not pressing into Steve’s space but keeping him grounded. Finding his feet and reaching out with one hand to Steve’s forearm, the other keeping him steady against the wall, ‘let's start it up again, get to the room.’

Steve keeps Bucky in his periphery as he leans over and depresses the emergency stop, starting the elevator up again with a lurch and a grind of gears.

He slides Bucky's palm down his forearm to lock their fingers together. ‘I’m good, sorry.’

He looks down at Bucky and Bucky is looking back at him. Not judging, not frowning. His face is soft and open, his smile small but real. The acceptance radiating off of him is tangible; Steve could run his fingers through the air and touch it.

He lets himself unclench, lets his body be at ease, leans into Bucky and rests his cheek on the top of Bucky’s head.

‘You know,’ Bucky says quietly, speaking the words into Steve’s shoulder again, ‘I’ve probably had too many cocktails for too much nonsense tonight anyway.’

And Steve hugs him tighter, wraps his arms around him to pull him impossibly closer.

‘Maybe we should do some investigating, once we get to your room, find out who gets which side of the bed, and which one of us is the blanket hog.’

‘It’s going to be you,’ Steve says, just as quietly, his words landing in Bucky’s hair.

‘Probably.’

‘I run pretty hot though, I should warn you.’

Bucky pushes up to tilt his head back, to reach up and press a soft kiss to Steve’s lips, ‘I bet you do.’ when the elevator slows to a stop and dings, the doors opening to the tenth floor.

It’s quiet, and the lights are low, and Steve feels calmer, his panic receding. He leads Bucky to the suite that Tony organised for him, too much for just Steve, but probably just right for the two of them. Just fancy enough for a wedding night.

‘Holy shit,’ Bucky says spinning around as he follows Steve inside, ‘this is some room!’

‘It’s a bit much’

‘It’s amazing!’ Bucky is busy walking around and looking into the corners, poking his head into the bathroom, ‘Fuck a duck,’ he looks back out at Steve, ‘your shower is bigger than my apartment!’

‘Can I get you anything?’ Steve asks, in lieu of finding a non awkward way to discuss the size of his ridiculously ostentatious hotel room. There are a million tiny bottles of alcohol in the minibar, though Bucky’s probably had enough (the implications of that are for Steve to worry about tomorrow). All sorts of food and snacks that he’s been too scared to open, lest they cost Tony a small fortune, but he’d be happy to open them for Bucky.

Bucky comes back over from his tour of the room to stand by the kitchenette with Steve. ‘Um water?’

‘Sure.’ He pulls a bottle from the mini fridge and opens it, hands it to Bucky who drinks it down and sits the empty bottle on the counter. ‘Hungry?’

Bucky peers up at him and shakes his head. He looks over at the giant bed, back to Steve, and then to the remote on the nightstand.

‘Okay. Idea.’ He grabs Steve by the hand and pulls him over to the bed. ‘We pick the cheesiest movie we can find, get under the covers, and order ice cream.’

Steve could cry, it's everything he needs (not what he wants, but he doesn’t trust himself, his body, his control right now). Honestly. ‘Okay.’ He crawls onto the bed next to Bucky and shows him which button elevates the TV up out of the bench at the foot of the bed.

‘Whoa.’

Steve has to admit that it’s pretty cool.

And it's much nicer when he has someone to share it with.

Bucky fluffs a bunch of pillows and places them against the bed head, sits himself up against them and burrows down into them. ‘You coming?’

Steve nods his head. He pulls off his shirt and folds it up, places it on the armchair next to the bed, holds his hand out to take Bucky’s as well. ‘Pants too,’ Steve says with a smile. Only half wanting to get to snuggle up to all that soft smooth olive skin, and half wanting to make sure Bucky is comfortable.

Bucky rolls his eyes with a smile and shuffles around until he has his clothes off, passes them over to Steve who folds them and puts them with his own. Matching t-shirts folded together.

He looks down at his ring and feels that now familiar skip of his heart.

It's real.

He could have this every day.

Someone to snuggle up to. Someone to fall asleep with. Wake-up to.

He takes his own pants off and places them on top of the pile, sliding in under the covers next to Bucky and reaching an arm around to pull him close.

‘What are we watching?’

‘Alright, don’t be mad, but there’s a Murder She Wrote marathon…’

‘And you like this show?’

Bucky nods.

‘Then it’s perfect,‘ Steve says. Leaning back into the pillows. ‘Tell me everything I need to know.’

He doesn’t mean to, but the sound of Bucky’s voice, the lull of the soft light and the background noise, the warmth of Bucky’s body pressed against him… it's like the ultimate comfort. For the first time in as long as Steve can remember, he feels his eyes closing, he feels his mind quietening, he feels his body settle into rest.

If Bucky regrets this, if he wakes up and realises this was a drunken mistake, if he changes his mind for whatever reason, Steve will have still had this night. He will have had this peace.

He’s going to steal it now. Not borrow trouble. He’s going to lie back and let this be his. Even if it’s just for one night.

And Bucky’s voice, his warmth. They have him believing that it might be forever. Something about Bucky just makes Steve believe.

In love at first sight. In soulmates.

In Happiness.

He tightens his hand around his husband. His husband.

And he sleeps.

No dreams. No nightmares.

He sleeps.

[vaguely-concerned]

The Mandalorian Chapter 12 rewatch thoughts

- I would like to thank them for keeping in din’s harried yet triumphant ‘hAH!!’ when he gets the explosives to stick to gideon’s ship in the ‘hey remember when this happened last season’ section, that was a nice gesture from the showrunners to me personally, I assume

- this episode actually helped me find more enjoyment in the last one, because it’s such a nice reassurance that even though they’re pulling in more stuff from other star wars media this show won’t suddenly stop being its own thing and mando won’t suddenly stop being himself and it’s very comforting to me somehow haha

- the small hesitation before din calls out “do you... do you have the wire?” lol lol lol he’s completely aware of the bizarreness of what he’s doing here but hey being alive is already so damn weird etc. 

the softness of his voice the whole way through and the fact that he never, never blames the baby for not being able to do what shouldn’t really be asked of him in the first place, tho... ;____;  

- the tiny exasperated head tilt din does when he realizes the hatch isn’t going to extend all the way fdslkfhasdlashfs  

- din is looking down at the baby the entire time while greef talks to the mechanics ❤️❤️❤️

(the baby seems pretty drawn to/excited to see greef again and mando seems to notice which is extremely cute. he’s becoming really good at tuning in with the kid) 

he also greets cara baby first in much the same way as he does peli, like he knows what the main attraction here is lol, they do a very sweet bro nod at each other. god I wish gina carano wasn’t so terrible imagine if we could just have this BrOTP without hesitations :( 

I think greef is actually a bit worried to begin with after seeing the ship, he sort of takes din in intently before he huffs a little laugh and grabs his arm. it must be a bit stressful to be his friend and not be able to see his expression right away when you worry something might be seriously wrong haha

- people are finally treating the baby like you would a real baby and it’s such a blessing, everyone talking and cooing at him and baby babbling back

(I wonder if greef has children of his own? he does have an undeniable air of experienced grandpa about him in this episode, it’s adorable)  

- din does so much talking -- unprompted, even! -- these days, it truly is an embarrassment of riches 

- capital E Emotional about this shot with IG-11 right behind din and cara inviting him into the school in front of him. some past carried with us into the future shit going on here  

IG-11′s legacy’s still got our back y’all :’) I swear to god if gideon blows up nevarro at some point I’m going to lose it 

the ‘oh yeah?/that so?’ way din leans his head back after she says “wait until you see inside” is also amazing

- baby reaching out his hand like ‘can have?’ is so polite ;______; he takes after his father (including in the ‘fool me twice, I’ll fuck you up’ department haha. listen you get one chance to be cool about it and then no more mr nice mando/baby)

-

go ahead, kid, make a fuss about it. who are you going to tell, huh? who’s going to believe you? you gonna tell them you got bested by a baby? a magic baby? no? that’s right. I took your dignity as easily as I took your macarons, there’s nothing you can do to change it, and now you gotta live with that. sweet dreams.

(this is a joke. the baby is not evil. I hate that I even have to specify this but I’ve seen some stupid shit in the tags in my time you guys haha) 

- I can’t work out what anything on greef’s desk is supposed to be, but if that’s a computer it’s got to be older than even the razor crest lol

- friends: din yes?

mando: din no, only repairs

friends: din yes please?

mando: ... [sigh] din yes 

he truly has next to no defense against people he actually likes asking him for something huh lol. well a self care co-op mission clearly did him a world of good in this one at least it’s all fine

- “I’m starting to dehydrate, Boss” is an excellent line and delivered perfectly, I cackle every time (”You park your gills right there until I say otherwise” is a good runner up too) 

- it’s so nice to see the small moments of communication between them in this one after mando was so out of sync with the team in the last one (and tbf those guys didn’t even try to give him any pointers at all, they really left him to flounder through the whole thing if you watch it carefully haha)

- the mythrol’s jacket still looks so comfy, I want one

- aaaaah the way din says “I don’t like this” is just so... hnnngh it’s perfect, there’s a vulnerability and openness to it for a moment. greef glances over at him like he hasn’t heard him sound like this before too, which just sells it even more

u ok bro?

you know shit’s fucked up when din djarin expresses an emotion without even being forced to by circumstance (I think what I mean is that it’s actually really rare for him to state how he feels about something just to do it, usually his communication is more practically oriented, more along ‘I think this is the best cause of action because of a and b’ lines, or like when he tells omera he’s grateful it’s... more to inform her of it and make sure she knows than to express himself? but he’s starting to do it more with people he trusts now and it gets me in the heart? man I’m finding this hard to articulate let’s move on lol)

- I really, really wonder about pershing’s position in all of this. his plea for the child’s life did sound genuine -- he did try to guard him with his own noodly scientist body when he thought din was out to hurt him, remember -- but is that only because he knows he’s in deep shit himself without the blood the baby can give? is he maybe not quite cool with whatever gideon has him doing? (he does sound quite strained when he talks about the ‘body’ rejecting the transfusion and the ‘volunteer’ potentially suffering the same fate... hm.)

idk why I want there to be something redeemable in him so bad, maybe it’s just my weird yet enduring attachment to ladon radim in stargate atlantis messing with me they’re kind of similar in some ways (yeah don’t ask me I don’t know either sometimes the heart wants what it wants in ways reason can’t explain)

- tfw ur literally launching yourself across a pool of boiling lava because you’re Dad and your baby’s in danger T__________T he just does not stop running towards that kid for even a single second help

- there’s something so innocently pure and... old fashioned? about the scene with mythrol and greef screaming the entire time they drive off the cliff, it feels like something out of a movie from like three decades ago. that whole segment feels a bit like that, it’s just there to be fun and that’s okay sometimes

- every dog fight in every movie should have a baby nonchalantly snacking on a cookie in them, it elevates the experience immeasurably (he squishes his nose a little bit with the macaron when he misses his mouth at one point, which is more than anyone should be expected to bear honestly)

I love that even all fixed up again the razor crest groans and creaks like an old tired thing when din makes it flip to dive, he 100% did take out a bunch of ferraris in his stalwart morris minor of a spaceship and I treasure him     

- there’s so much life and emotion in din’s voice here I can’t!!!! I simply can’t!!!! imagine if we get to hear him openly laugh one day, would I even survive it??!!!!

 also the kid makes such pitch perfect ‘having my lil nose wiped and whining about it’ baby noises when din uses his cape to clean him up (din does turn the autopilot on before he turns around to deal with it, for those who, like me, worry about these things) 

- between carson showing up and the stuff the droid talks about in the lesson they’re doing quite a bit of outer rim vs. core worlds theme building in this one, I wonder if this is going to ramp up more or what

- god but gideon’s theme SLAPS tho 

he’s probably going to try to fuck up everything I love but you can’t fault him on the tunes he’s going to do it to 

[uraharashouten]

💐 <3

[[ meme | The Flowery Munday Meme ]]

💐 - Answer all of these!

tfw Vix gives you homework pffft okay...

🌺 - How much do you draw on personal experiences when roleplaying?

Sometimes a bit too much. I've wondered before if this blog has become too self-insert. In my more self-aware moments, I deliberately take a step back.

🍀 - How much do you think you have achieved with your blog?

I did quit this blog in 2017, and it lay fallow for a couple of years. At that time, I thought I'd ticked every box on my list, and honestly had reached a point of burnout. It's interesting now to read my farewell message. Now? I don't have goals. Kisuke and I just exist here. It's probably for the best...

🌼 - Do you think you could ever stop roleplaying now?

I've tried. I honestly have. I quit for a few months once. But there's something about this creative space and creative mind that keeps luring me back.

🌻 - What do you do between replies?

Other than attending to the necessary demands of life, I enjoy chatting with mutuals!

🌸 - Have you ever been in a group? Would you do it again?

Not a closed group, no, and it's because I don't like the idea of limiting my options. As frustrating as it is to have mutuals come and go in the wild indie RP lands, there's always a sense of new possibilities that come with that constant change, and hence the potential for new inspiration.

🌹  - Have you met true friends through roleplaying?

I absolutely have! There's someone I meet up with IRL regularly, and that never would have happened without roleplay. We've been part of each other's lives in tangible ways for several years now. There's another dear friend an ocean away... and people all over the globe I chat with often. Even if we're online-only friends, that still means something to me!

🍄 - What’s one bad habit you know you have in writing?

Ooh, this is tough. I think I can become too indulgent in my own prose. I do love wordplay and rhetorical devices like assonance and alliteration, and sometimes it's probably a bit too stilted and overdone. But I like doing it! It makes writing fun for me!

🍁 - How do you want to explore your muse further? Is there a wishlist?

Well, that's the million-dollar question, isn't it? I'd like to say there are no goals, but I do want to see him grow. I'm not content writing a static character. I'd like to see him learn how to do the hard work in a relationship, when it's not easy or fun; to stop retreating to focus on outward things rather than push through the wall and address his own avoidance. I will confess here that while I'm leery of writing him in romantic situations, there are times when it would be nice to let him have some softness. He does miss the comfort of it sometimes, and he tends to be so detached. I feel he is learning to take ownership of his mistakes and become more responsible in his relationships by allowing himself to be more invested in them... maybe it's not a smooth or general progression, but I see encouraging signs and I'd like them to continue.

[autobotmedic]

I posted 700 times in 2021

365 posts created (52%)

335 posts reblogged (48%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 0.9 posts.

I added 844 tags in 2021

#{ shenanigans } - 214 posts

#{ question } - 135 posts

#{ the medic } - 110 posts

#{ blue speaks } - 92 posts

#{ reply } - 82 posts

#event: mini - 66 posts

#anonymous - 39 posts

#v: shattered - 38 posts

#{ optimus } - 37 posts

#v: post series - 31 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#fun story i thought i could respond to this but ratch wont stop being ///// long enough for me to come up with anything coherent so hfksjdhf

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

{ *jazz hands* magic anon design art even tho im going to continue using cv icons

18 notes • Posted 2021-10-22 22:32:59 GMT

#4

sc for miniratch

@anotherhumanpet

    His helm tilted slightly. “... Well, at least I still haven’t had to look up at humans.” At this point, he would take any fragment of a positive about being so small (compared to usual) that he could find. There weren’t many.

18 notes • Posted 2021-10-23 18:48:38 GMT

#3

@milkii-galaxii​​​ inquired:

Ratchet had been on an emotional roller coaster ride everytime they went out for a drink. It was only a few days since they met. " Ratchet... " The officer carefully wrapped his arms around the medic and pulled him into a hug. It was welcoming for a hug from someone you recently knew. " I may not be your old friend, but this is what I can best offer, " Optimus spoke gently, as he slowly pulled away because he was worried he may made Ratchet uncomfortable.

     As Optimus wrapped his arms around him, the medic’s engine hitched, struck by a wave of emotion. It was so. Familiar. His vents shuddered. Comforting. Something he had believed he would never feel again...

     The ambulance did not want him to let go. But Ratchet had never been the best at expressing his own emotions, or needs. Even now, despite how strongly he longed to return to that familiar embrace, his processor prevented him from moving. He does not remember as you do. And Ratchet was grateful for the unexpected gift, short as it was. He should not expect more.

     Several moments passed as he recovered, collected himself, and found his voice, “Thank you, Optimus... That, means more than I can express.”

20 notes • Posted 2021-03-14 01:37:40 GMT

#2

{ i have no excuses, i just. dragon. he sleep.  pls dont rb thank u

25 notes • Posted 2021-05-25 21:00:08 GMT

#1

{ tfw your amica is massive, protective, and armed with surgical blades fhskdjg man i did this sketch months ago, forgot about it, and then remembered last night, sO HERE’S A NICER VERSION. And yes, it is based on the swordsman holding a cat meme.

27 notes • Posted 2021-07-26 16:01:01 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[amazingorangedangantrash]

Last night i really really couldn't sleep (tfw you've been an insomniac since you were like 9-) so I thought I'd do the trick by writing about kamuegi sleepless nights headcanons! Unfortunately that turned out to be counter-productive as I ended up with a semi-drabble and passed out before I could post it >:"D (the world works in mysterious ways ig-)

Staying up late

• Naegi has trouble sleeping often- he doesn't seem the type, but he's an insomniac

• Kamukura too

• Kamukura doesn't find it as much of a problem- after all, he's superhuman; he doesn't need as much sleep to be fully recharged anyway.

• Naegi... does

• They stumble upon each other once. Naegi is making his way out of the kitchen, and bumps into him, accidentally spilling his glass of water all over the other's shirt.

• He's extremely apologetic, and insists on accompanying Kamukura, to make sure he changes his shirt.

• Kamukura asks him why he's still awake, and, flustered, he makes up a lie about having drank one cup of coffee too many, caffeine still in his system.

• Kamukura sees right through it.

• "You are thinking about her, aren't you?"

• Naegi flinches.

• "How'd you know?"

• He recognises the momentary look of despair that flashes across Naegi's face when he thinks he isn't looking- it's one familiar to anyone who's crossed her warpath, guns blazing, despair dialed up to eleven. Naegi's unusually powerful optimism and his hope is his shield, but even he is not completely immune to it- he is only human, after all, even he must lose sleep to the nightmare known as Junko Enoshima.

• For reasons he can't quite explain, the thought... bothers him.

• "Would you like to see the stars?" He asks, the question leaving his lips before he can properly process it.

• Naegi looks at him, a surprised expression on his face, before he suddenly lets out a laugh- looking a little embarrassed at letting it slip. "Ah- no- sorry-" he smiles, "it's just- you mean, right now-?"

• "Yes."

• His amusement turns to confusion, "Wait, really-?"

• "Indeed," and without elaborating further (he doesn't like to waste time on boring himself with explanations, when his actions are easily enough to speak for him), gently takes ahold of Naegi's wrist. He only feels the slightest hesitation, before the other lets him lead the way, and they've made it to the rooftop.

• There's a gentle breeze, and it softly sweeps Kamukura's locks into the air, strands of smooth inky blackness swaying in the wind.

• Naegi fights the urge to reach out and run his hands through them.

• To his surprise, there's already a blanket, pillows, and even a lawn chair and umbrella waiting for them.

• "Do you... come out here often?" He asks. He wasn't even aware this was a part of the rooftop. It's fairly secluded, one that lets you see the open sky above them without a problem, but is hard enough to spot from the ground, unless you really knew what you were looking for.

• "Yes," Kamukura replies, sitting down. He doesn't gesture for Naegi to follow, or pat the ground, like some of his other friends would, but he looks at him and tilts his head ever so slightly, which Naegi can tell is enough for him to encourage him to follow, so he does.

• "Wow..." He simply gazes up above them, revelling in the sight of hundreds upon thousands of stars above, the way they sparkle majestically amongst the vast sea of outer space, like diamonds laying atop thick, rich-hued velvet of pink, purple and blue, blanketing the sky.

• Kamukura watches him, and the sight of the stars reflecting in Naegi's eyes, the light in them mirroring the sky, that twinkle, unique to Naegi, and Naegi alone, makes something in his chest twinge.

• It's an unfamiliar feeling-

• How exciting.

• He shall have to bring Naegi out here more often.

• Naegi turns to him, and his breath catches in his throat.

• "Thank you," he says.

• It is uneeded.

• "Why?"

• "For bringing me here," the other replies. "I know this place must mean a lot to you. Ah-," he scratches his cheek, a gesture Kamukura finds... oh- is this what they mean when they say, 'endearing'?

• "Sorry. I know the others can be kind of... loud and stuff at times." Why is he apologising on their behalf? "And, well, this is all new to you, isn't it? That can probably be kind of... overstimulating sometimes, right? And I guess you'd want a space to yourself, to get away to and be in peace at for a while. To think. You're pretty smart, after all. You need your 'thinking time'. I know you need a breather now and then to process everything," he chuckles, the sound is light and sweet amongst the cool summer air, "I mean, they're my friends, and even I need a break from them once in a while, so-" he smiles again (always smiling, doesn't he ever get tired of it-?), "thank you. I'm sure this place must mean a lot to you. I'm really glad you feel comfortable enough to bring me here! I appreciate it."

• He's smarter then he looks- this is something Kamukura has come to realise from the time that they've spent together, and yet, still, he's found himself surprised by it. Naegi's intelligence, his skill, comes from a place elsewhere then his books or his hands- it comes from his heart, his emotions, something Kamukura was never able to fully understand, was never programmed to-

• They always deemed emotions unnecessary. Believed it would hinder his talent, that the key to success, to hope, lied in absolute mechanical operation, and the unwavering pursuit of more, more talent-

• Looking at Naegi now, he wonders how they could have ever been so wrong.

• "Oh- um- sorry, I didn't mean to get all excited there for a second," He trips over his words a little, eager to fill the silence, and yet, Kamukura does not mind. The sound of his voice is not grating upon his ears like that of others, it's less like a fly buzzing around his ear, and more like the flapping wings of a bumblebee, a gentle thrum that is strangely soothing, a sound sweet like honey.

• "You overestimate the importance of a place like this to me," his words aren't cold, merely the simple truth. "It's somewhere for me to stay. That's all."

• Naegi shakes his head softly. "Nah, that's exactly my point Kamukura. It's your place- your spot. The fact that you can call it your own, that makes it special. Especially since, ah, um-" he looks to the side, "I'm guessing they never really let you have anything like this before, huh?'

• His... 'spot'. He tries out the word in his mind. What a crude, and simple way to refer to it.

• And yet... he thinks he might like it.

• "Yes," he answers honestly. "I had no need for personal belongings or even... 'spots'. They weren't needed to cultivate my talents."

• "Geez," Naegi mumbles to himself in exasperation, running a hand through his hair. Kamukura knows the frustration isn't directed at him, and yet that makes it all the more intriguing to witness.

• "I still can't believe- that- that they treated you like that," he mutters angrily, more to himself then the other, "like you're- like you're not even a person! Like... like you can't have thoughts or feelings of your own. Like- like you don't deserve to be treated like everyone else-!"

• "I don't deserve to be treated like everyone e-"

• "Don't," Naegi softly warns him, though they both know it's more for his sake than Kamukura's, "please. I know that's what they told you but- you do. You're still... a person. You're still human."

• Kamukura isn't really sure if he still qualifies as even that anymore, but, for once, he deems it better to not speak that thought aloud.

• The breeze picks up, turning into a sharp gust of wind. It causes Naegi to shiver a little, goosebumps rippling along his exposed skin, already cool against the night air. He starts to wonder if it's time to regret wearing a short-sleeved shirt and shorts to sleep, when he feels a warm material envelop his shoulders, and a weight shift next to him.

• "Kamukura-?" The other has pulled a blanket over them, and shuffled closer, so that it wraps neatly around him also.

• "You were cold. I thought this to be the best course of action," he says, though, even in the pale moonlight, Naegi can't help but notice the (very faint, but still there-) rush of pink lightly dusting his cheeks. Kamukura's sharp red eyes pierced his own, and yet, their gaze was... hesitant.

• Naegi blinks a little, before his expression softens, exhaling with the slightest bit of amusement. "Of course," he hums. The sudden intimacy between them hasn't gone unnoticed, but he... doesn't mind it. "Thank you."

• They sit in silence for a while.

• Naegi doesn't often see the stars. Sure, he would try a few times back home, on cloudless, sleepless nights, not entirely unlike this one. The light from streetlamps and nearby houses would drown it out, however, the city's constant glow in favour above the natural visibility of the stars.

• They're as beautiful as he'd imagine, out here, away from it all.

• Occasionally Naegi will point to a group of stars, and ask which constellation it is. Kamukura will take his hand, and, (to his embarrassment) redirect it to the actual constellation. He'll then explain, it's origins, the story that is behind it's conception. It's 'useless' knowledge, but it's knowledge he has nonetheless, and Kamukura is... happy, he supposes, to finally have someone to share it with, not for the sake of a test or practice, but because someone just... wants to talk to him about it. (And as selfish as it is, Naegi is secretly glad to be that person-)

• Naegi talks, about his parents, his sister, his friends, about the life Kamukura never had, and never thought he wanted to. He knows it's not much, but it's all Naegi's known, and he's content with it. Kamukura never thought there would be any point to a life like that, but if it's the one that made Naegi the way he is now... maybe it wasn't such a bad thing after all.

• At one point, a shooting star suddenly soars across the sky, and Naegi gleefully points it out (he wonders what it's like to be delighted by such a simple thing...), "Kamukura! Did you see that?"

• "I did," he replies, and just as the words leave his mouth, another one follows.

• "Woah! Two shooting stars in a row! Talk about lucky," and Naegi is so happy, so pleased by this small event, it's as if it spills into Kamukura himself, and he's...endeared by it.

• "Yes, it is." His voice is... fond.

• Naegi insists that they both make a wish. Kamukura knows that it's impossible, and Naegi does too, that an act as insignificant as wishing upon a 'shooting star' (not even a star, really, but a lump of space rock falling through the atmosphere, hitting it at a high speed and burning up in a rather aesthetic display of combustion) can possibly change their fate in any way, but-

• He makes one anyway.

• It's an unusual feeling. Wishing for something. It's wanting for something... a desire...

• It's not all that different from hope.

• How funny, he thinks, that the two are so connected, and yet the people who expected hope from him never asked, never expected him to want or wish.

• (Unbeknownst to the two of them, their wishes are exactly the same.)

• Naegi tells him his favourite flower. "I don't really know why, but I've just always found hydrangeas to be my favourite. I'm not sure why," he laughs. "They're pretty I guess? Especially the blue ones."

• Kamukura briefly considers telling him the meaning behind the flower, but decides against it.

• Naegi asks him for his own favourite flower- but he cannot think of one. He can acknowledge and recognise which are considered more "beautiful" or popular, but in terms of personal preference... he has none.

• "What are those red ones... ah... um- carnations! That's it! Those kind of remind me of you... ah, because of your eyes," Naegi smiles bashfully at him.

• (He decides against mentioning the meaning behind those, as well-)

• They stay there until the morning comes, watching as the sky blends from black, to purple, to pink, to orange, to yellow, and then finally, blue. The stars slowly fade, dimming like nightlights in the sky, being turned off as if to fall asleep themselves.

• Naegi yawns, stretching. "Aw man... I think I'm gonna sleep in a little today..."

• When he returns to his bed, he promptly blacks out, all thoughts of a certain Ultimate Despair having been vanquished entirely.

• If anyone asks that day, why Naegi seems so tired, or why Kamukura is even more quiet then usual, the two will share a knowing glance, and return to what they were doing, with a small smile (or twitch of the mouth).

• The next night, Naegi finds himself needing a glass of water again. Kamukura is in the kitchen. They walk.

• It's not at all uncommon for the two to be perched upon the rooftop. Rain or shine, day or night. They'll often be nursing a drink in their hands too, a hot cup of tea, or an iced one, a glass of water, a smoothie, a milkshake, a hot chocolate- as they talk. Or they'll sit and stare out at the grounds, or the sky. They might fiddle with papers, completing work, or sit comfortably in each other's company, Naegi braiding Kamukura's hair, weaving little flowers into it that he collected from the gardens.

• Their insomnia is still there, refusing to disappear or remedy after one night.

• But, at least, if they are doomed to the life of an insomniac, they're happy to do so.

• (together).

-

Flower meanings-

Hydrangeas: (one of my own personal favourites ahhh-) their meaning varies a lot. Pink is said to represent heartfelt emotion and even love (some say the individual petals are shaped like a heart-). Purple hydrangeas represent a desire to deeply understand someone. White hydrangeas had very negative connotations, especially in Victorian society, representing boastfulness and vanity (but also purity)- they were even considered unlucky, and leaving a hydrangea to grow outside a woman's door was said to be a way to ensure she would never wed (how cruel!). Blue is the most intriguing colour- there's a Japanese story of an Emperor who gifted blue hydrangeas to the family of his beloved, in apology for neglecting her. Because of this, blue hydrangeas are associated with apology, forgiveness, gratitude, and even frigidity (which makes me think of how a certain Mr Kamukura acts-). Ironically, blue hydrangeas are considered the 'luckiest'.

A lucky unlucky flower (befitting, I'd say, to be the favourite of a certain person).

Carnations- apparently white ones symbolise good/pure luck! Now isn't that something? Ah, but Naegi didn't say white carnations, did he? He meant red, like Kamukura's eyes. That's where it's interesting- light red carnations can symbolise admiration and affection. But dark red carnations symbolise a deep love. (Ironically, for a flower of love, carnations are also frequently associated with death (especially, apparently, in France). It's almost like, in order for Kamukura to exist, for Naegi to have feelings for him in the first place, someone first had to die for him to come into existence... but that's just a thought-)

(I'm no flower expert- all of these came from our overlords, Google themselves, so if anything about that is wrong... blame them not me-)

Now if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going back to sleep-

Image by: https://borrego-tan.tumblr.com/post/186229592018/hinaegi-festival-2019-day-4-comfortcomfy

[superfanficnatural]

Dean Winchester Masterlist

Aesthetic via @talesmaniac89​

The hunter turned demon, wait no, archangel?? Dean Winchester everybody!

One shots:

Nightmares 

Summary:  After running away from your past for so long, you meet up with the Winchesters. Can a certain green eyed hunter get you to finally open up about your past and bring feelings you never felt before into the light?

Let me help you

Summary:  Dean catches you during an episode and attempts to help get you out of it. What he didn’t expect was the words that the two of you were going to exchange.

Pancakes

Summary: You catch Dean making pancakes, in nothing but an apron.

Tired

Summary:  After deciding to leave the bunker, Dean confronts you and asks why, leading to some harsh truths to be told.

Pressure Makes Diamonds

Summary:  With college finals, trying to pay for your apartment, and dealing with depression, you wanted to give up. Will your boyfriend Dean be able to help you?

But I Like Boys

Summary:  After Dean confronts you about never sleeping with women who basically throw themselves at you, you reveal a shocking truth that changes everything for the both of you.

Frozen

Summary:  Finally having a family movie night, TFW decides to watch Frozen. Unbeknownst to them, they have a huge surprise in store.

One Last Time

Summary:  (I really don’t want to spoil) You learn the hard way that you should always hold the ones you love close to you at all times.

Forced Confessions

Summary: “Can you do one where the reader is mad that Dean went to Lisa instead of her? They’re best friends and have been forever and they always had a thing for each other?? Maybe a little steamy, or a lot:)” REQUEST.

An Apple A Day...

Summary:  “Hi, i’d like to request a oneshot. The topic is heavy, so I understand if you want to ignore this. I want to request a dean x reader oneshot where the reader is struggling with an eating disorder (anorexia or bulimia) and dean comforts them after he finds out and just supports them.” REQUEST.

Baby Can Be Fun

Summary: Porn with no plot.

The Cold Of Heart

Summary:  (I really do not want to spoil) You decide to tell Dean how you really feel.

Reunion

Summary:  “Virginity loss, cut off by John, meet up many years later at a bar, reader thinks Dean is just straight and before was just a “phase” so he accepts the invite to the bunker but doesn’t make a move on him, Dean’s feelings come back stronger and stronger and after a few nights at the bunker, he “goes in for the kill” as I would like to say it.” REQUEST.

Love, Tabby

Summary: Tabby is turning 30 today and Dean has a special surprise in store for her.

A Welcomed Surprise

Summary:  You were tasked with killing Dean Winchester, if only you knew what was really going to happen.

Glittermania

Summary:  You had created a new way to fight against demons and ghosts and decided to try it out, instead having to use it to save the asses of two certain brothers.

You Say

Summary: Based on the song, You Say by Lauren Daigle

Day at The Office

Summary: Being Dean Smith’s secretary isn’t easy work, but it does come with a few perks.

Less Than Human

Summary: After a homophobic encounter, what you thought was going to be the worst day of your life, turned out to be not so bad when your boyfriend Dean got involved.

The Girl/Boy Who Cried Wolf

Summary: A wolf hunt gone wrong results in an investigation. When things begin to not add up, will you be the girl/boy who cried wolf?

Out of The Blue

Summary: Micheal!Dean. What you thought was going to be a calm night, soon turned into a night of passion with an unexpected visitor.

Series:

The Bringer Of Balance [Hiatus]

Summary:  In a world of Angels and Demons, Y/N and the Winchester’s team up to stop the rising numbers of the Demon kind. Forming unbreakable bonds, will they be able to hold up against unknown truths and be able to stand tall against the forces of evil?

The Choice [Hiatus]

Summary: Deciding to get over your crush on Dean, you find Christian, a mysterious billionaire that manages to split your heart into two. Finding out hidden truths, your decision becomes a hard one, who will you choose?

The Ultimate Betrayal [Hiatus]

Summary:  When a rival mob boss decides to show up in your town to claim their stake, you and your partner, Dean Winchester, band together to claim your territory over your city. When sudden and unexpected motions are set in place, who will be the one that gets betrayed?

[ryttu3k]

Part 2 of my season 12 reaction posts! Find part 1 (Resolution of the Daleks to Fugitive of the Judoon) here!

Praxeus

Thoughts on Doctor Who - Praxeus!

OKAY FIRST. THANK YOU, SHOW, FOR FIXING A BIG ISSUE I HAD WITH THE FIRST SEASON. So they were doing a thing where they’d introduce incidentally queer characters, have a female character mention her wife, stuff like that, only for them to die. This episode had Jake and Adam, married/separated/it’s complicated couple, who face huge amounts of danger, who both come close to dying, but who survive! And have a Big Damn Kiss! And walk off together holding hands! They survived!!

Plotwise, I enjoyed it a ton while watching, although in retrospect it did feel a bit free of danger. The companions were never in true peril because the Doctor can home in on them automatically, and we never got the true scale of the risk of infection, since the only people we saw get infected were in isolated areas. I would have liked to see, for instance, the threat of Praxeus spreading beyond just the very Hitchcockian birds; all of the peril was on an individual level.

Good message, if unsubtle. Mind you, that’s kind of Doctor Who’s thing, and it pisses off conservatives, so all for it, really XD (They must have loved the core relationship in this episode, too!) Like. Subtle doesn’t work. There are literally climate change deniers that exist. Sometimes you actually do have to tell a message with all the finesse of a sledgehammer because .

(Side note, I was deeply concerned when I saw the cowriter was the guy who did the hot mess that was Kerblam!, so at least this was just an unsubtle and kind of questionably written story instead of an actively harmful one.)

The companions: Ryan seems a fair bit more confident on his own? His initial scenes with Gabriela showed that he’s starting to work well even without backup, and picking up the bird proved to be a damn good call. Yaz and Graham were a fun pair, and Yaz got a lot to do when she and Gabriela (again!) got to explore, and I can definitely understand the conflict between curiosity/doing what’s right and safety when it came to the teleport scene. She does seem to be bordering on the reckless. Intriguing!

Minor plot snag - Graham knows how to set up an IV, presumably because of the shitload of time he spent in hospital! …And yet he doesn’t know what a pathogen is?

Friend note!

“fun fact about graham seemingly not knowing what a pathogen is! in my reading of the scene, i saw it as graham knowing what one was. with "Well, I’m glad you asked that…!” he seems like he’s actually sort of pleased with himself, like he’s about to launch into an explanation, and then IIRC there’s a very brief shot at Ryan giving him a Look and Graham immediately changes tone to “…cause I didn’t want to look stupid.” he immediately changes from boosting his own ego to bolstering ryans and im love"

In which case, good shit gooood shit.

SFX - the infection was creepy as shit. The very obviously puppet bird near the lab was hilariously bad.

Apparently the filming was tricky because it was super windy so all the shorts of Thirteen with her hair Like That weren’t planned, it just kind of happened. Love a fluffy ruffled Thirteen.

So anyway. People calling for more plot focus - literally this is the Doctor trying to distract herself and not focus on the plot! This is her avoidance tactic! Emotional honesty? Who’s she? She’ll get back to it eventually, but for now she needs a distraction after being punched in the emotions. Give her that for one episode, c'mon.

Ryan: “…I do a lot of running.”

Graham: “Whatever is giving off those weird readings… is on the other side of that wall!” Yaz: *silently turns scanner around* Graham, not skipping a beat: “…is on the other side of that door!”

Yaz: “I don’t want you to panic, but… we followed one of those things through a teleport and now I think we’re on an alien planet.” Thirteen: “…well, you don’t do things by halves!”

Thirteen: “That’s why you smell of dead bird! I thought you’d changed your shower gel.”

Thirteen: “I’m having half a thought. Ooh, this one tickles!”

Thirteen: “What can I say? I’m a romantic~”

In conclusion, Doctor Who said gay rights.

-

Can You Hear Me?

Thoughts on Doctor Who - Can You Hear Me?

Trigger warning for discussion of depression and suicide.

You know you're in for a wild ride when iView warns for horror themes instead of science fiction themes.

Overall: at first impression, it felt sort of mashed together? There's 14th century Aleppo, and there's 21st century Sheffield, and there's a deep space station, and there's creepy monsters and dream villains; I do kind of wonder why Zellin targeted a random girl in Aleppo as source for his pet monster, although targeting people like Ryan's best friend makes sense if he's deliberately trying to lure the Doctor to him.

The theme, on the other hand, of mental health resiliance and reaching out, was done incredibly well. Oh yeah there'll be more comments about it - the Guardian described it as 'adventures in Wokeness' - but damn, sometimes you need to hear it. I loved getting more of Yaz' backstory, about being a desperate teenage runaway at the point of being suicidal, and her reunion with the older woman legitimately made me tear up.

But like, goddamn. Her nightmare - she's still hearing that. She's still hearing her sister saying that she should "do it right this time" and that this time she won't call and that no one is coming and holy fuck. God this makes so many of Yaz' scenes incredibly painful in retrospect, knowing that she was at that point only three years before and that she's still dreaming that shit! It makes her recklessness terrifying!

Ryan's nightmare, and his experience with Tibo - it's quite reflective of the Doctor, too. She wasn't there, and Gallifrey burnt. And Ryan is realising this now, and really thinking about the potential future in Orphan 55. I think this is absolutely foreshadowing Ryan leaving at the end of the season (there's been a lot of speculation given Tosin's new TV role), and I think Ryan and Yaz' discussion at the end of the episode was a definite hint in the direction of Ryan choosing to going back to Earth.

Would have really liked Graham, during his talk with the Doctor, to gently remind her that she can talk about her own problems, although I can understand the narrative choice on why she didn't (although, yeah, would have been good for Graham to ask). Because, yeah, if anyone needs a sympathetic ear (...sans fingers) or a shoulder to lean on, it's her!! The entire theme of this episode was like... reaching out. Conquering your fears with the help of others. Sharing your fears to lessen them. Getting help. And the Doctor deliberately... not doing that makes it into an actual Thing that I think is going to seriously be addressed by the end of the season.

It's been such an ongoing theme. A bunch of episodes have started with an obviously depressed Doctor. The Fam has tried to raise the issue multiple times and have discussed it amongst themselves even more. Scenes like Yaz' reaction after being abducted in Spyfall (...which makes her, "I thought I was dead" part even more worrying) and being comforted by Ryan, not the Doctor... her whole reaction to Graham being like, "I'm glad you talked to me but I literally can't do the same in return" - if it's not addressed by the end of this season, it's at least going to have to be an ongoing theme, because it's becoming very deliberate now.

An interesting note: the actor who played Zellin (an immortal manipulator of nightmares) also voiced the Remnants (who were the first to mention the Timeless Child in The Ghost Monument). Coincidence or deliberate?

Assorted thoughts:

"I'm still quite socially awkward." There's socially awkward and there's emotionally repressed... (I saw a description of it on Tumblr as 'weaponised dissociation' and... yeah. And also yikes.) Also the way she was so closed in on herself, basically hugging her arms to her body! On a semi-related note, talking to herself in Aleppo was a bit depressing. Like it's continuing the theme of The Doctor Does Not Like Being Alone.

The finger thing - ew ew ew ew it's in their EARS ewww D:

Stylistic comment: the traditionally-styled animation for the Immortals' game was gorgeous.

"Try not freak out, yeah, but you're on a floating space platform trapped in a gravitational pull between two colliding planets."

"Thanks for lending a helping hand!" Companions just being, "...Doctor p l s."

On an old lore note, loved the callback to Eternals, Guardians, and the Toymaker! On a concerning note, man, the Doctor has so many issues with immortals. They abandoned Jack, there was the punishment they gave the Family of Blood, they had those Issues with Ashildr (from what I've read), now this, an eternal punishment with no chance of redemption, perhaps because she knows what immortality does? Parallels with the Doctor as quasi-immortal too, which Zellin even pointed out.

"You're wrong about humans. They're not pathetic. They're magnificent. They live with their fears, doubts, guilt. They face them down everyday and they prevail. That's not weakness. That's strength. That's what humanity is."

(Contrast: "That's what humanity is." The Doctor isn't human. She's not prevailing against her fears, doubts, and guilt.)

In conclusion, literally everyone but the creepy immortals needs a hug.

-

The Haunting of Villa Diodati

Thoughts on Doctor Who - The Haunting Of Villa Diodati!

tfw you think you're just going to get a nice spoopy historical and instead get major plot?

Overall impression: Well, Jack is going to be pretty miffed, given that the Doctor had to do precisely what he didn't want to happen - giving the Lone Cyberman what it wanted. To save Shelley, and also to save the future, although that does bring up the question on if the death of one person can rewrite the future, why doesn't that apply to literally everyone? Fletcher the valet and Elise the nurse died too, do their deaths have the same impact? Either way, the Doctor takes the Cyberium for herself - then realises that the Cybermen are inevitable, and returns it. And now she's trying to go and stop them. So... a bit conflicting in the message there, I think.

Yeah. Bit of a Trolley Problem there.

The characters were really fun. I did enjoy seeing Mary's sense of morbidness, but also her kindness and sympathy towards the Cyberman; you can see the foundations of Frankenstein there. I'm seeing some criticism of how Byron was portrayed as a coward, but eh. Nice little callback to Ada. Also I love how one of the rules was 'no one snog Byron'. Put that dirty boy back, you don't know where he's been! Glad Claire realised that too, although historically, she was already pregnant with his daughter at that point (and that didn't go well at all)... Either way. Good display of all these bright young reckless things.

(And yes, they were young. Byron was the eldest at 28. Shelley was 23, Polidori was 20, Mary and Claire were just 18. And while Claire lived to 80 and Mary to her 50s, the three men all died young, too - Byron at 36, Shelley at 29 - yes, from drowning, Polidori at just 25. Also wasn't mentioned that Polidori also created something on that Dark And Stormy Night along with Mary's Frankenstein - he wrote The Vampyre, the first modern vampire story!)

The Lone Cyberman (and I am deliberately using that instead of 'Ashad') - creepy as shit. Not just the whole Frankenstein look, but the way he acted! Not emotionless and blank, but actively manipulative and sadistic! Mary showed empathy and he actively threw it back in her face! I mean, yikes.

House was terrific and also spooky as hell. (Am lowkey miffed that no one went "VIBE CHECK!") The jumbled layout was quite Castrovalva, and I actually really dig that Graham got to see some actual ghosts. Ghostly sandwiches!

I think we got actual confirmation here that Yaz does have feelings for the Doctor? (Bleeding Cool News is pretty sure that it was for Ryan, but... lmao no.) BBCA twitter certainly thinks so!

Claire: "His answers only increase the enigma." Yaz: "I know someone like that." Claire: "This enigmatic person of yours... would you trade them for reliable and dull?" Yaz: "My person's a bit different..."

I MEAN.

(It got deleted. So. There is that.)

Thirteen: "Hmm. Fourteenth... no. Fifteenth century... touch more umami." (Doctor, have you been playing Detroit: Become Human again?)

Mary: "I don't think they're really from the colonies!" Byron: "No, she... is from somewhere much, much stranger." Polidori: "The North."

Thirteen: "YOU HAD ONE JOB."

Cyberman: "You appear courageous. But your vital signs betray a heightened state of anxiety." Thirteen: "Or as I like to call it... Tuesday."

Thirteen: "Yeah, 'cause sometimes this team structure isn't flat. It's mountainous, with me at the summit, in the stratosphere, alone. Left to choose. Save the poet, save the universe. Watch people burn now, or tomorrow. Sometimes even I can't win."

Claire: "You pursued Mrs Doctor without a care for my presence, belittled my thoughts and opinions... and then proceeded to use my person as a human shield." Byron: "...And?" Claire: "And the spell is broken... my lord." Polidori's face: "haha you fucked up dude"

Next week: Shit Hits The Fan.

-

Ascension of the Cybermen

In lieu of a proper post for Ascension of the Cybermen, here are a list of questions we need an answer for.

Will Graham and Yaz survive, on a giant carrier full of Cybermen?

Who is Brendan, and what is his relevance to the story?

What is the Boundary?

How is Gallifrey in the Boundary?

How was the Master in Gallifrey, and not trapped by the Kasaavin?

Who is Ko Sharmus and why am I getting Yana vibes?

Who is Ashad and what is his story? (And why is his theme such a literal banger?)

Is he an actual Cyberman? Because I'm totally getting this impression he's human in armour?

How did Brendan survive being shot, and why did his non-ageing father and mentor do that?

Why did it look like a chameleon arch?

Is Ethan's tech-savvy just warzone familiarity or something more sinister?

Are there any other large human populations left?

Was I detecting a hint of romantic tension between Graham and Ravio?

What's up with Yaz?

Why did the Cyberium get sent to that time period?

Who or what is this alliance Jack is a part of?

How do the Time Lords and the lie of the Timeless Child come into it?

WHO THE FUCK IS BRENDAN?

-

The Timeless Children

WELL THEN.

While I gather proper thoughts on The Timeless Children, here are the questions I had from Ascension of the Cybermen, now with answers!

Will Graham and Yaz survive, on a giant carrier full of Cybermen?

Yup! Disguises for the win!

Who is Brendan, and what is his relevance to the story?

Brendan is a filtered overlay memory of one of the Doctor's former lives.

What is the Boundary?

An anomaly, as far as I can tell.

How is Gallifrey in the Boundary?

No idea!

How was the Master in Gallifrey, and not trapped by the Kasaavin?

No idea!

Who is Ko Sharmus and why am I getting Yana vibes?

A big damn hero.

Who is Ashad and what is his story? (And why is his theme such a literal banger?)

We're still not actually sure. Either way, he's an action figure now.

Is he an actual Cyberman? Because I'm totally getting this impression he's human in armour?

Yeah, sort of.

How did Brendan survive being shot, and why did his non-ageing father and mentor do that?

Because Time Lords.

Why did it look like a chameleon arch?

It's probably related technology! If the chameleon arch rewrites memories, this one just wipes them.

Is Ethan's tech-savvy just warzone familiarity or something more sinister?

Just warzone familiarity. Poor li'l bean.

Are there any other large human populations left?

Possibly! If the Boundary really did send them to random places, there still could be surviving pockets elsewhere in the universe.

Was I detecting a hint of romantic tension between Graham and Ravio?

Maybe a bit XD And now they're all on Earth, who knows?

What's up with Yaz?

Who knows?

Why did the Cyberium get sent to that time period?

Ko Sharmus sent it. Didn't send it far enough.

Who or what is this alliance Jack is a part of?

Same organisation Ko Sharmus is part of. Also, young!Ko Sharmus/Jack please.

How do the Time Lords and the lie of the Timeless Child come into it?

In so many ways.

WHO THE FUCK IS BRENDAN?

The Doctor!

More thoughts later!

-

Thoughts on Doctor Who - The Timeless Children.

...Actually, first thought is the title. Timeless Children? Hmm.

Anyway. That is... sure a literally mind-blowing revelation for the Doctor, yes! Like, damn, the discovery that you're not even the species you thought you were, that your adoptive parent spent lifetimes abusing and experimenting on you, that your memories were routinely erased by people you thought you could trust (including your adoptive parent), that you're literally the progenitor for your entire species, that you've lost who knows how much time and who knows how many memories... yeah. Damn.

What's an appropriate birthday present for someone turning ten million?

Also, huh. Amidst all the old lore and casual mentions (like Borusa!) that got mentioned - were they taking hints from the Cartmel master plan? About the Doctor being some kind of founding figure for Gallifrey? Not exactly written as Cartmel had it, but that big main concept of the Doctor as a sort of... foundation piece of Time Lord culture was still actually there.

Brain of Morbius Doctors confirmed, I guess. I guess even Four was going, "...the fuck?"

Cybermen = still scary. Regenerating Cybermen = felt somehow obscene. Like, no, that's just fundamentally not right. Like the TARDIS responding to Jack by noping the fuck out kind of not right. God. And the Master was completely and utterly magnificently batshit, like, more than usual, come on, dude, you know they'd kill or convert you the second you turned your back.

Still. Deeply, deeply entertaining to watch just from a villain perspective, completely Chaotic, and like... I do understand where he was coming from? His entire life is a lie. His entire life is because of the Doctor, who, I think it's fair to say, he has Complicated Feelings regarding. (Their entire interaction this episode was a giant power play. Like damn guys just get into BDSM and leave the would-be genocide and universal takeover.)

Tecteun = Rassilon, I'm assuming. Goddamn. Like they were a pompous abusive asshole from the outset, this just kind of makes it worse. I also wonder if Rassilon chose the Master specifically to get the drums because he was friends with the Doctor? That actually may have been something the Master worked out himself, too. I mean, I'd be pissed off as well :-\

Also, how many people know about this? I assume Gat knew, since she was implied to be responsible for the mind wipes, but was it like... a super tightly-held secret or was it something a lot of higher-ups knew? Because that's fucked up tbh

Thought on the Master. Okay, he's hugely furious that he's been lied to, that the entire origin of his people is based on a lie, that his greatest friendrivalloveenemy is incredibly special and that a part of her is in him and not in the fun way, but like... I'm also wondering if he's looking at the Time Lords, the way they turned him into their puppet, how they drove him insane for their own purposes, then looked at the Doctor - someone who has also been used, abused, experimented on, manipulated, controlled, and went, "No. This is an injustice and the Time Lords need to be punished for it."

Oh, saw a nice theory regarding the TARDISes - Ruth!Doctor had the original busted police box TARDIS. When she was eventually taken in to be mind-erased, they sent the TARDIS off to storage to be eventually repaired. The Doctor manages to steal that one, goes to Earth, and it immediately gets stuck again because it's still broken. Explains how Ruth!Doctor can have the police box while also being pre-everything.

I really want the Doctor and Jack to sit down and have a nice chat about being timeless undying constants of the universe. Also for Jack to get one of the spare TARDISes around. Be kinda funny if he got the Master's old one, given the Year That Never Was, but it really is just sitting there. (Poor TARDIS stuck as a tree on a random wartorn planet in the far future, though!)

Also, Jodie was fucking magnificent in this episode. The hurt, the absolute fury, the almost glee when she's telling the Master he can't break her, her refusal to press the button at the end (so much like Nine's "coward or killer?" moment!)... just... so good.

Beautiful post I saw here on Tumblr - the Doctor as the Timeless Child, making the choice to help.

Amazing post here on Tumblr about abuse and repressed memories. Even if the Doctor doesn't remember it all, the abuse they underwent at the hands of a beloved parent figure still informs a hell of a lot of their behaviour, but it doesn't define them. The Doctor's need to run = informed by abuse. The Doctor's desire to help crying children = informed by abuse. The Doctor being an inherently good person = being their own person, no matter what their upbringing, no matter what their past was. They made the choice to be the Doctor, and that's a hell of an important thing.

Extremely painful post I saw on Tumblr about the Doctor being 'hip with the kids' by calling her companions her Fam but hell if they're not more family to her than her actual adoptive mother ow my heart.

Also, the scene between Yaz and Graham was so sweet <3 I do want to see Yaz, at some point, admit that sometimes she's so terrified she can barely move, and to tell him what she came so close to doing when she was sixteen, and Graham to just go, "Yeah, but you keep going." Also I'm trying not to think about how Yaz would respond to the Doctor going off on a suicide mission when Yaz was suicidal just three years earlier because ow my heart. She knows that Ko Sharmus went after her, she knows the Doctor might be alive, but either way, she's just seen someone she loves leave with the intention of dying (and Ko Sharmus too, actually). Someone please give her a hug. Actually please just let the Fam have a big group hug in general.

"Have you ever been limited by who you were before?" "Huh. Now that does sound like me talking."

So, remaining questions to be answered next season!

What actually is the Doctor? Since they were found near the Boundary, they could be from anywhere. It's fair to say they now are recognised genetically as a Time Lord, but what were they originally, why were they abandoned in the first place, and are there any more of their original people out there?

How do the Remnants know about the Timeless Child, or were they just picking up on that unconscious knowledge from the Doctor's own mind?

Like... we're generally under agreement that the Master, the eternal cockroach, survived, right? Despite definitely being lowkey suicidal like oh, was hoping the Death Particle would kill me? Like the Death Particle was made by the Cyberium, it could have gone, "Nah, keeping this one."

What's going on with the Kasaavin? Remember them? Still out there, stationed all through time and space? And are we going to see Daniel Barton again?

Is something going on with Yaz?

Will the Fam stay on? (I personally think Ryan will elect to stay on Earth to account for Tosin Cole's new TV role, and if Graham and Ravio enter a relationship, he might too.)

When will we see Jack again? If he was connected to the Lone Cyberman arc, that seems... pretty conclusively finished, unless we're going to learn more about it?

Is it Christmas yet?

............so the Christmas/NY special is going to start with Jack using his vortex manipulator to bust the Doctor out of prison and get back to the Fam and it'll never be mentioned again, right.

"At least buy me diNNER!!"

[turnaboutimagines]

Hi, can I request for hcs of Miles and reader where the reader is afraid of stairs???? They have bad luck with stairs, they always trip and fall on stairs, sometimes it end up with them injured. So whenever they're walking down or up on stairs, they always cling to someone they're close to or the railings. My friends keep making fun of me because of this ;;v;;

Sure thing!  I have a lifelong condition of harming myself on doors (and stairs, but doors have been the Worst Offenders), so like I feel ya, pal!  Hope these HCs bring you some comfort.  💚tfw you forget to finish your own author’s note

The irony of someone bad with elevators being in a relationship with someone bad with stairs is not lost on him.

He usually prefers to take the stairs whenever he can, even if it’s a longer climb that leaves him out of breath.  However, he does have to take the elevator on an almost daily basis.

The first time you cling to him while taking a flight of stairs is before the two of you are together.

He’s lost in thought when you suddenly cling to his arm.  Three things happen simultaneously:

He lets out a most undignified “Whooooa!”

He goes as rigid as the Steel Samurai figure in his office.

And his face burns a scarlet red.

If he startles you, he’s quick to profusely apologize (feeling like he’s just made an absolute fool of himself).  The sudden contact really just caught him off guard.

When you apologize in return and explain to him your fear of stairs he’s a bit surprised and confused, but he would be lying if he’d say he doesn’t feel some sort of kinship on the subject.  Both of your situations make getting around more difficult and other people just don’t get it.

He permits the clinging going forward, just give him some notice and you’ll be right as rain.

He quickly learns that he doesn’t really mind it when you cling to him like that.  The feeling of you so close is… rather pleasant.

It helps him realize things about the nature of his feelings for you.

He worries over you whenever you get injured, he starts keeping first aid kits in his desk and in the glovebox of his car.  

Miles may gently scold you about trying to be more careful… and some light-hearted sarcastic quips may be made, too.  

Depending on the severity of the injuries and how well you take his sense of humor.

Unfortunately, for required stairs when people around, it’s probably best to cling to the railing and not him.  Only because he gets extra flustered and tries to speed walk up them, which is not helpful for you!

It isn’t until a while after the two of you have been a couple that he relaxes more about it and doesn’t virtually drag you up the stairs.

He still blushes at least a little and avoids eye contact with everyone around, no matter how long you’ve been together.

When he’s with you, he’ll voluntarily take the elevator more often than he would when he’s on his own.

Your own fear takes precedent over his own.  Always.

If the two of you are alone in an elevator, however, he will certainly not complain if you hold his hand after you’re romantically together.

However, if you stubbornly insist to take the stairs, he won’t complain too much because he’s still rather fond of having you so close.

[naruhearts]

Destiel in 15x03: “WHY DOES THAT SOMETHING ALWAYS SEEM TO BE YOU?”

CAS: You used to trust me, give me the benefit of the doubt. Now you can barely look at me.

CAS: My powers are failing. I’ve tried to talk to you, over and over, and you just don’t wanna hear it. You don’t care. I’m...dead to you. You still blame me for Mary?

[DEAN tilts head; says nothing]

CAS: Well I don’t think there’s anything left to say.

[CAS turns to walk away]

DEAN: Where’re you going?

CAS: Jack’s dead. Chuck’s gone. You and Sam have each other. I think it’s time for me to move on.

Cred: @xSimply_Mishax

- - - - - - 

Me: 

OH MY GOSH!!

I hope to get a full 15x03 review going next week after my Pharmacology quiz Monday, so I’m copying and pasting my sloppy thread from Twitter again--

Y'all can look at that scene as platonic or shitty storytelling, and your feelings are entirely valid, but in my humble opinion, this friggin' scene, right here, peeps...QUALITY PERSONAL STORYTELLING. A PUNCH IN THE NARRATIVE GUT!! Close friends — deep platonic friends — don't experience such an extreme magnitude of intense pain, hurt, and confrontation re: tangled and complicated feelings. The intentional sombre ambience, with bright harsh lighting conveying the harsh nature of Dean and Cas’ current relationship? Cas walking away, subverted from 4x20 The Rapture, YES @castielslostwings​, in which Dean’s (and Cas’) ultimate failure to use their words broke them irreparably (temporarily)? Cas internalizing his duty-bound calling to Heaven and splitting up with Dean at the end of 4x20 while, at the same time, experiencing his fall from grace re: Dean Humanity Winchester’s influence; then, in paralleling contrast to 15x03, he leaves Dean behind again, this time completely devoid of any positive self-process and hope upon the false knowledge that Dean hates him and no longer wants anything to do with him? The framing between Dean and Cas, with a single table and lonely lamp, once upon a time fixtures of comfort and discussion, exposing the isolation they both feel (not to mention Dean’s holding his own cup of booze — the typical cue that he’s going to cope badly)?

*clutches chest*

Sam was, since last season, easily able to realize (purposely able, in part because unlike Dean, he has a platonic relationship with Cas which allows him to use his RATIONAL judgement, not clouded by strong emotions) that Cas had NOTHING TO DO with Mary's death. 

This explosive ROMANTIC breakup between Dean and Cas specifically -- Sam locked away in his room a la S12/13 era grieving!Dean -- was the culmination of YEARS of messy feelings and unsaid emotions; Dean, fearing that what he has with his family — with CAS, isn't real — finally drove Cas to the edge. It was the only common (TERRIBLE) way Dean knew how to protect himself from getting hurt again. Most of all, by driving Cas away, he thought he was protecting both of them. 

I mean, DEAN HAD UNSHED TEARS IN HIS EYES THE ENTIRE TIME. WHEN HE SAW CAS WALK AWAY — as he tightly gripped the table with his hand — HIS HEART BROKE, alongside the orchestral swell of DEAN’S THEME. THIS SCENE WAS MEANT TO HURT BADLY. IT WAS MEANT TO TEAR THE BOND BETWEEN DEAN AND CAS APART. THIS NARRATIVE IS CANON. BOBO EXECUTED IT BEAUTIFULLY, INTERSPERSING DEAN AND CAS' SCENES WITH SAM/ROWENA. They both lost their respective allies. Friends. LOVERS (potential in Sam and Rowena’s case) (jeez louise the visual intercut between both of their scenes!!! My heart’s still pounding.)

So, let's go over this again: if Dean and Cas’ relationship truly is platonic in nature and nothing else beyond that, how come it's not SAM telling Cas he's always the thing that goes WRONG? (Besides the obvious fact that he was preoccupied himself, absolutely shattered over Cas parallel-Rowena’s death, which was a WILLFUL CHOICE ROWENA MADE ON HER OWN?)

 How come it's not SAM who still wrongly blames Cas for Mary's death? 

(Dean could barely look Cas straight in the eye precisely because he knew that what he said was irrevocably false.)

That's right: we DON'T see Sam treating Cas horribly because SAM ISN'T IN LOVE WITH CAS.

DEAN IS. 

It’s the beauty of these structural romantic patterns the underlying cyclic metanarrative’s been spinning us all with!!

THE LOVE DEAN FEELS FOR CAS IS SO IRRATIONAL AND SO TURBULENT AND YET SO RIGHT. IT'S BEEN A ROMANCE TROPE FOR YEARS: BREAK THEM UP FOR A MUCH SWEETER MAKEUP *throws self off cliff 49854985 times*

For now, Dean and Sam lost their closest allies. For now, Dean lost Cas, the most important man in his life, his sunshine, his win, his confidante...his spouse (and I tell you, the negative spaces are SCREAMING here. The subtext is pushing against the wall of text hard in S15). This scene was, for all intents and purposes, a smack-dabb fest of breaking up to pursue the last stretches of individual growth before they reunite to form a stronger unit. Remember, you can’t properly give yourself to another nor love another if you can’t love yourself. At this point, after the phenomenal hurdles of growth they experienced throughout the last 3 seasons, Dean and Cas are close to achieving full self-actualization! Almost there! Final regression before progression!

I mean, we’ve all been saying this for years now, too! THEY MUST USE THEIR WORDS, OR ELSE MISCOMMUNICATION WILL BE THE DEATH OF THEM. Tonight, it finally unfolded. The necessary smiting of their son Jack’s body, then Rowena’s literal death (which I humbly think isn’t permanent at this time for reasons I hope to explain later), offset by Cas’ metaphorical death via his walking out on Dean as a semi-regressed, hopeless shell of himself who thinks he no longer holds any ties — or has any meaningful place — in Dean’s life, shattered Team Free Will (Cas’ quiet “I think it’s time for me to move on” was the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever heard from him in the romantic context of the moment! Dean and Cas’ marital discord/tension was deliberately reaching an ugly peak since 15x01; their relationship encountered its worst Rupture yet. The ep literally encapsulated RUPTURE...the rupture of trust, love, faith, and hope. The writers are highlighting it incredibly well, and I’m sitting here holding my breath!!)

Chuck, the ultimate Big Bad and toxic father figure, was still exerting his oppressive presence despite his physical absence within their dialogue (and tonight’s main plot). His actions in 14x20 led them to this, prying open their deepest insecurities and allowing despair to take over again (Belphegor, significant exposition, expectedly triggered Cas’ fears by referring to his sense of expendability under Sam and Dean’s wing). It’s what Chuck wanted: to destroy the found Winchester family who dared to defy him --> Cas believes he’s unwanted by Dean and has no family. Dean believes he deserves Cas leaving him. 

WHAT A MESS!!

CONGRATULATIONS AND HUUGE APPLAUSE BOBO FOR CREATING THE BEST ANGSTY MISCOMMUNICATIVE TROPED-UP EMOTION-CENTERED EP SO FAR FOR THIS FINAL SEASON YET AGAIN!!

No joke. I shed some nasty tears, hand cupped over my mouth. The raw anguish of Jensen and Misha’s chemistry radiated off the screen!!

RATING: 10/10

Things must get worse before they get better, and Dabb & Co know it. (I’m cautiously optimistic, and I’m one of the annoying positive believers who do not think Cas is going to die at the end of this show. It simply would be the bottom-line crap cop-out for him and TFW as a collective. We shall see!!) 

[diminuel]

I love your Destiel art! But I also love when you draw Sam. What's your take on TFW? Where does Sam fit within your OTP?

Thanks!

Uhhh, I think at this point if Sam doesn’t get that something weird and intense is going on between Dean and Cas then all the hits to his head he got over the last 15 years were more severe than we had thought.

I don’t think Sam has to fit within my OTP? My OTP is Dean and Cas. Just Dean and Cas. ;D Sam doesn’t have to be involved in the romantic or sexual aspects of Dean and Cas’ relationship. (for his own sanity he probably shouldn’t be *lol*)

Anyway, I do think he would be happy for Dean and Cas if they managed to get together. Sam has been asking Dean about finding someone “more” for a while now. He wants his brother to be happy and Cas is Sam’s friend too, I think he’d be very supportive. And the way I see Dean and Cas they wouldn’t really change much about their interactions? Like they’d look at each other without blinking for 5 minutes while Sam’s there in the kitchen getting coffee. He’s used to that. *lol* I also don’t think that Dean would really be happy if it were just him and Cas? So he wouldn’t stop spending time with Sam. I think Dean and Cas have started doing things just for themselves together some time ago; like watching movies together, having private converations with a glass of alcohol etc. Cas is Dean’s best friend, so he’s been making space for Cas for a while now, slowly enough for Sam to be comfortable with it I guess. So it’s not like them hooking up would suddenly disrupt the dynamic Sam and Dean have or TFW have.

But I have no universal headcanon or wishes. It does depend on the setting of a fic or verse or fanart idea? Like S8 Sam would react differently to Dean and Cas being a couple than S15 Sam in my mind. So... yeah. I can’t think and express myself all that well at 3 AM.

I’m sorry, I don’t have a very good answer for you.  >w<