#tfem space

[furmaw]

shes right chat …. thank you falin…

[autumnroses]

I've noticed a lot of transfem sapphics & lesbians get really worried and nervous in lesbian & sapphic spaces because they think they "don't belong" or that people won't be into them. I'm here to say that you're WRONG and I'm personally giving every tgirl a kiss on the lips. I love women

[cannabisbutch]

Trying so hard to not vaguepost but some of y'all keep putting b@3ddels and their ilk on my dash and i am being Tested

[dysgoreia]

Just to reiterate:

Transfem confessions is run by trans fems just like how trans masc confessions is run by trans mascs. If you want more spaces, make them.

Just like we get harrassed for making our spaces, trans fems will get harrassed for making their spaces. It isnt easy. Thats why theres so few, because people have to weather the hatred and vitriol of people who hate trans people just the same way youre spewing hate at trans men for having community

tmes are so fucking whiny all the time you bitch and moan constantly about how you're not represented but then you have like 1000 blogs just for you. tmasc confessions, loveletters, positivity, whatever. and we only get one tfem gimmick blog (confessions one) that hardly ever updates, anyway??? fuck off.

Usually wouldn't respond to anon hate like this but. What. What could you possibly mean.

Nobody is preventing transfems from opening their own gimmick blogs!!! Why the fuck are you mad at us?? Why are you acting like this is the work of some external force???

WE run the transmasc blogs. I (a transmasc) run this blog, a transmasc runs the love letters blog, a transmasc runs the positivity blog... I'd honestly be really shocked (and actually, a little discontent) if there was a tmasc blog ran by non-tmascs.

Why are you mad that transmascs are making spaces for ourselves and then enjoying those spaces?? We've BEEN in need of places where we're finally prioritised and allowed safe to be amongst eachother because of people like YOU who constantly try to put us down for the most stupid of reasons.

Calling us whiny bitches?? Real progressive and totally not misogynistic-sounding of you. I hope you choke on a dick, you transandrophobic piece of shit.

[grubloved]

my theory about this which is very constrained by my personal aka white experience is that one of the things that happens to u as a white baby girl and then as a young white woman is that bad things are happening to you, and everybody needs to convince you they arent happening (to make sure u are subjugated but still content enough to further the project of white supremacy). and also nothing you think or feel or want can be real or meaningful bc ur just a girl.

and so if ur going to be aware of ur own misery and oppression under patriarchy u have to like develop these repetitive cycles of validation of your own oppression and internal experience as Real and Valid. because everything is very invested in making you forget.

and then this cycle can continue when u transition: the overwhelming majority of bad reactions to transmasc people are based upon that previous reaction to girlness which is to infantilize u and dismiss you and treat u like u arent real. and so as a continued reaction to this many tmasc people become singlemindedly focused upon Realness and Validity. Realness becomes the Only Real Problem, the one Great Wound to be healed.

which to my tfem friends can explain a lot abt the weird way tmasc heavy spaces talk about gender: its a lot of reassuring yourself and others that you're Valid. that youre Real and Valid. youre So Valid. which for most of the tfem people in my life has been kind of bewildering because the truth is if ur tma nobody needs to tell you what youre doing is real because immediately people start doing transmisogyny at you.

[officialspec]

can you pleeeeease post your dm sexuality/gender hcs on here.... 🥺 i don't have a twitter but i wanna know. it's like a pandora's box to me now i'm like scratching at the door. let me in

heres the link 2 the thread (mild spoilers btw) ill post a transcript under the cut for ppl who dont have twitter

first off i think laios relationship to sex is super removed for like 50 reasons without even getting into his actual sexuality

he grew up in a place with very repressed ideas about sex and has a lot of fear about asserting his presence in situations

his special interest takes precedent over any social interactions he has and the level of closeness he feels towards people

he has a hard time figuring out his feelings towards other people both bc hes autistic and bc he has freaky deviantart fetishes that make sex in his mind a very abstract concept <- this one is me projecting mostly

that aside, i feel like gender-wise hes attracted to ppl so infrequently it may as well be entirely case-by-case

the idea of him being gay appeals to me from the 'raised with traditional values he Does Not fit into/hasnt begun to question it yet' perspective, i lauve characters who put a lot of stock into performing a role thats expected of them and fail miserably for unknown (gay) reasons

from his perspective tho i dont think he would ever really label himself anything. hes going to pride parades in the shirt+shorts Ally Fit to clap for his friends

hes also 'cis by indifference' imo... i love tmasc laios hcs it just doesnt mesh w his personal history to me. i do think hes got some kind of therian gender thing going on (not trans or nb but a secret third thing) but i cant see him changing anything abt his appearance/pronouns to accommodate that post-canon. hes just doin his thang

falin is in a similar boat for gender. i LOOVE tfem falin but the village repression thing has been bugging at me so i dont think i subscribe to it anymore (canon purist sorry) BUT if u hold that hc i am clapping and cheering regardless

instead i was propagandised to a while back and i LOVEEE the idea that being fused w a male dragon and the residual traits she has after being revived have given her a type of gender euphoria she didnt realise she was missing. a little boygirl swagger if u will

sexuality-wise i also dont think she would care to label herself, shes a lesbian by virtue of only being interested in One woman and zero other people. without marcille i do think shes still exclusively attracted to women, and i like to imagine she might experiment around a bit during her travels post-canon (pre-relationship). hearing abt it might put marcille on the news though

marcille is very simple That is a transfem lesbian. she cant get pregnant, shes obsessed w being femme and all that combined w her half-tallman struggles to be seen as 'properly feminine' by elf standards reads very transfeminine to Me. also her bookboy crush REEKS of comphet its not subtle

i think a more comfortable marcy might have the space to experiment w being elf butch like her manga boys but thats mainly self indulgence for me. utena could have saved her

senshi is gay his whole thing is abt not being able to perform dwarven masculinity to a proper standard (soft hearted, not as strong or rugged as his peers) which is like gaycoding 101. also hes a bear. homosexuality be damned by boy can work a grill

adding onto this i rly think senshi got some type of euphoria from being an elf in the changeling chapters. he was feeling himself so much i think he was using it as an outlet to have fun being a little fem and fruity without needing to justify it. do u understand

i dont have any particular opinions abt him gender-wise beyond that. his bulge is an essential part of his character design but i also saw a transmasc senshi a couple days ago that made me nod my head thoughtfully so i could go either way

chilchuck is cis and bisexual this is just canon. not even just his old man crush on senshi altho i do think thats very funny but they put his ass on a cover themed like hes in a dating sim with all the men and women in the cast and then slapped it in front of a chapter called "bicorn". i simply cant pass up that kind of overt signaling. its so fucking funny what else is there to say truly

izu to ME is a transmasc aroace lesbian (this one has the least basis in canon i just know it to be true) shes a little genderfluid with it nd uses he/she i think. i like to imagine she consistently uses masculine personal pronouns to refer to herself either way tho (boku, ore)

i think izutsumis gender/sexuality is entirely secondary in priorities to her body dysphoria. she has a lot of learning and acceptance 2 do before that kind of self discovery is on the docket and in my mind eschewing gender on some level is part of that. get sillay

shuro is cishet but at least he feels bad about it. next listen listen to me i dont think he would ever actually examine this but i need u to put on ur tin foil hat with me for one second. i think estrogen could have saved her. i have more thoughts on this but im not gonna propagandise too much on this post just know that im right

kabru is a transmasc bisexual this is also practically text. his whole thing of being treated like a doll by milsiril to put in pretty dresses, plus i think it would be pretty easy for him to stealth in the west since tallmen are seen as inherently more masculine than elves

(i also think changing genders is just more common for elves. theyre androgynous enough that it wouldnt be hard and like who in their right miiiiind would be the same gender for 500 years. dwarves too)

i think he started presenting as male socially in the west but didnt need to consider medical transition until he moved to a more mixed culture where other races might see him as a woman

i dont have to explain the bisexual part. have u seen him

namari is a butch bisexual this is just canon straight up. shes not transmasc but i think the default settings for dwarven women is like 4 years of T regardless. shes a hit at all the local cruising spots despite her renfaire nerdisms i know this

and just bc im thinking abt em kiki and kaka are identical and kiki is tfem :} theyre both attracted to women but kaka is a sub so i forgive him

THATS ALL 4 NOW theres a lot of characters so i cant have thoughts abt all of them at once but i hope this was good. im right about everything forever as per usual

[transfemme-shelterdog]

The fact that terfs and radfems paint trans men as innocent uwu softbois and trans women as these hyper-sexual deviants really shows how little they know about HRT.

Speaking as someone very active in both tfem and tmasc spaces, this belief is totally divorced from reality.

When a trans guy starts T, his sex drive goes up dramatically. When a trans girl starts T blockers, her sex drive drops dramatically (this is partially why lots of trans girls go on Prog, as for some it boosts sex drive). Like, the amount of posts where some trans guy talks about how they're all of a sudden horny all the time, and posts where a trans girl asks for how to deal with her now non existent sex drive is quite high.

But yet, people paint trans girls as these sex fueled perverts. Makes no sense.

[preydefiler]

Long term follower from blog to blog n I just gotta say now

Why are you allergic to non-conventionally attractive tfems. Your entire thirst posting is all the same. Skinny tmasc or thicker tmasc with big boobs/ass. The internalised transmisogyny n fatphobia? Cmon you used to be better at this then you went dom mode and it's like your intersectionality and feminist view of bodies vanished

wow this is. certainly one of the takes of all time.

I love my fellow tfems bodies, and you know what, I do think you're right that I haven't been posting enough of my fellow tfems, and I will do better about that.

however coming at me like this when you are so misinformed about me is wild lmao. "blog to blog", we are a plural system, and part of the way we give each other our space is by having separate blogs. I am not the same person as Bunny, who runs puppy-wife. I'm also still figuring out this whole, being a person thing. Before about three months ago, I was a Protector in our system. I was active maybe one or two days a month, if that, so forgive me if I am still working on myself. I'm still figuring out who I even am.

I didn't go "dom mode". I'm a different fucking person. there were better ways to have approached this if you actually cared and weren't just trying to make somebody feel like shit. I do need to work on my intersectionality. And thank you for the blunt reminder. But you've shown here you are obviously not a friend of mine. Please leave my blog.

[transfem-confessions]

The Better Confessions Blog.

Hello my fellow baeddels, transwomen, trfs and *insert other dogwhistle.*

I'm Ellie.

As we've all seen, tfem-confessions has proven again and again. And again. That she is not actually here for trans women, she is here to shame the people in her asks, and support the right wing hate-movement that is 'trans.a.ndropho.bia'. She is not interested in hearing from any trans woman who disagrees with her discourse stance and tries to remain painfully 'neutral' while also taking a clear stance.

If you are an actual trans woman or transfeminine person, then welcome to this blog where you can have an actual space to be honest away from her bullshit condescension.

[velvetvexations]

(I know you dont like talking about politics- im not being specific i hope this is okay) I dont know how much more of this I can take. Theres so much going on in the world that directly impacts me as a trans/queer latino of indigenous descent, so much that im genuinely loosing sleep over it all, and I come onto here looking for community and maybe a little escape nd immediately get hit with that “All TME people of color have privilege over white trans women”… im absolutely bewildered at this statement and the state of this discourse.. like its actually fucking sickening to me atp. I feel like lately ive seen an increase in transfems speaking out against other “transfeminist” that just shit on transmasc people, which is great and makes me feel a little better at the situation.. but for the past few years of my life on almost every “trans” space on the internet AND in real life, i have been completely disrespected by other trans people, misgendered, malgendered, and degendered. Have had several slurs and hateful phrases treated as “jokes” that were okay to call me and my transmasc siblings “jokingly” (theyfab, zippertits, mentions of “tranny” voice- from someone who tried arguing the t slur is exclusive to tfems might i add). I have been spoken over, and spoken for, i have been ridiculed over my sexuality and my sexual preferences. I have been straight up ABUSED by other trans people. And when i bring any of it up on any trans spaces on the internet i get torn to shreds and told im a transandro truther that hates trans women.

I don’t know how much more i can do this for before i just completely isolate myself from the community. In this horrifying political climate i feel that not even other trans people have my back and i dont know wtf im supposed to do.

It's going to be okay, anon. I have your back and so do plenty of others, of all identities. Your sisters do love you.

[tmasc-confessions]

vent: im not so sure if tfem confessions blog will remain friendly as theyve already posted asks about infighting and using the terms TME uncritically. so thats fun 😐.

Ah... that's... unfortunate. For a blog saying they want to "hold space" (I still don't know what that expression is supposed to mean) for intersex people, that's. An interesting thing to do.

[the-intersex-experience]

Welcome to a blog dedicated to intersex experiences. We are bodily a transfemmasc intersex system. You may call us Anelodi. it/its & 🩷/🩷s work for pronouns.

This blog is safe for: intersex tfems/tmascs/tfemmascs. intersex poc, intersex systems. disabled intersex people, good faith/mspec mono labels, pcos falling under intersex, honeybee tfems, coffeebean tmascs, milieugender individuals of any kind, cistrans, etc.

This blog doesn't personally want any involvement with: terfs, proshippers, radqueers, winterpunks, racists, zionists, or "transintersex" perisex people.

Questions / conversations are fine, but be aware we are not a medical professional or expert on everything intersex. We are a young intersex adult that wanted more intersex spaces to exist.

You can send things as "the intersex experience is", "the poc intersex experience is" etc. Free to drop that part if you want to be more serious or vent/rant [with proper warnings]. Please keep in mind all intersexism, harassment & hate will be blocked.

taken anon emojis: 🪻, 🔆

other blogs to check out!! @our-transfeminine-experience , @our-transgender-experiences , @our-trans-youth-experience @our-transmasculine-experience

[paperstreetlocal]

T4T headcanons of narrator and Tyler maybe?

ok where do i start ehmmm

theyre both tmasc 2 me obviously. ive seen hcs of them as tfem post-movie and i think its a good concept it just doesnt fit with my hcs

narrators the generic truscum type of dude, has awful dysphoria and doesnt really believe hell ever be a real man. only got on t like a couple months before tyler blew his shit up, actively starves himself to get rid of any curves etc.

because he mentions his family is catholic in the book i view him as catholic, not religious per se but i think he has a lot of shame and intrusive thoughts about it. didnt get much chances to express himself as a kid even tho he felt wildly uncomfortable being a feminine girl and his mother reinforcing it (well i mean, dads not around, no siblings... no space to interact with much except his mom)

had a binder at one point but lost it cuz of tyler so he had to resort to some very questionable taping options during his stay with him-- before they came out to each other his dysphoria got like. 50 times worse He couldnt even imagine tyler supporting something like that, not even taking him seriously (worst option is kicking him out or worse) so he would just like. straight up ever refuse to strip or stop binding for a couple weeks lol

do i think his dysphoria got any better after they both found out about each other. No. i think it got somewhat worse because well, tyler doesnt even bind and looks more masculine than him. i think he had a deep seated hatred for him for not even trying, and if he got mad for whatever reason hed feminize him in his head, not that he said anything straight to tyler because hed probably get his teeth knocked out 4 it. i guess that also adds to his homophobia cuz tyler doesnt look like your typical man so

--

now for tyler i also think he has some weird ideas about masculinity (OBVIOUSLY) but its more psychological rather than physical (the narrator being the opposite) . the generic men dont cry type shit. has dysphoria but isnt like, aware of it? its not eating at him or anything he just kinda does things he conditioned himself to do to pass earlier on. gymbro eating disorder (you know the type. guzzling boiled eggs) has to be shredded with low % of fat (i draw him slightly meatier cuz i like it lol. i feel bad drawing him so skinny)

as a kid he grew up in like. a big family in texas and his parents didnt really pay much attention to him and he just did whatever the fuck he wanted half the time so he had the conditions to explore himself. also wore his older brothers clothes and he was generally messy and androg-looking. also energetic. i think he got on t without advice from a doctor in his late teens and his parents were kinda done with him .do whatever just move out

i think he binded at one point but it restricted him from doing the things he enjoyed so gave up on it. and when he got into the masc bullshit he believed getting surgery would be a cop out, not naturally manly so he learned to live with it and doesnt really mind it. only tapes during fights cuz somebody yanked on his boob once :,3

he passes so well in fact the narrator jus assumed he had gynecomastia and didnt wanna be rude about it. also got mad at the narrator for certain things he did (who the fuck uses duct tape to bind??) and his refusal to do things the narrator deemed as feminine - this is hypocritical though cuz he would make fun of him for things he (tyler) deemed as feminine so it was always a lose lose situation. calls him gay as an insult (yes they do fuck. yes hes calling him gay as a feminine insult)

OKKK all that out the way now the fun stuff

narrator has issues with giving himself t shots because of his shaky hands (and his slight disgust of needles) so tyler does it for him. he sometimes does it back to him if hes feeling brave (and i guess a weird attempt at flirting? lol)

post canon narrator got top surgery, and tyler got only bottom surgery and a hysterectomy (he just really wanted a dick tbf)

narrators hairline gets proceedingly worse

tyler got cheetah print trans tape after shaving his head :p n i think the narrator shoves socks in his pants as a packer

they dont really go to the beach but if they did the narrator wouldnt get in the water hed just suffer under the parasol. tyler wouldnt gaf if he was fully naked

tylers comfortable enough to wear more... fashionable clothes that would kill the narrators self esteem on spot if he put on (i think he did wear that kind of stuff while in control of the narrators body. yes he would look awful)

also theyre both sweaty and horny and gross cuz of the t. tyler has crazy bottom growth

[our-honeybee-transfem-experience]

for the record im not gonna answer any discourse asks about honeybee tfems this isnt the space for that, this is a space for community.

[rabidbatboy]

Also if people could only coin terms they use requesting terms simply wouldn't exist it would simply be too frustrating to find another person who wants to use it to coin it for you

I don’t actually have requests open all that often, so my feelings towards it more is that as a community we have really closed in on ourselves. infighting, hostility, masc-centred conversations and silencing of trans femininity, denial of transmasculine oppression and struggles. etc.

all these issues and i don’t want my blog to be a place that solely feels wholeheartedly masculine, although that is how I identify. Like my tboy/tgirl flags. I asked some of my friends and wanted them to match to reflect the tmasc and tfem flags. I love that tgirls reblog it and go wow this is me I love this. and we have that unity and family. if a tgirl goes, love this but I want a version that’s made not by a tmasc, im gonna make my own, that’s great.

the point is an encouragement of fem flags in a masc dominated space. people immediately assume that when I’m opening my arms up and opening this blog up, I’m invading or trying to dominate a space, because that’s all we know right now. all we know is anger and bitterness and hostility.

I fuck with trans women EXTREMELY. living in the uk especially it’s fucking vile out here for my sisters. I never claim our struggle is exactly aligned, but we are fighting the same fight. I want my acts of compassion and my love letters towards the transfem community, in something as small as a flag, to be seen as an act of brotherhood and sisterhood again. doing this beside you, not against you

[tfem-confessions]

https://www.tumblr.com/tfem-confessions/774247935466668032/thicced-witch-isnt-slick-for-harassing-this?source=share

I'm the anon from here. I've lost transfem friends for telling them that their friends are being transmisogynistic/intersexist/exorsexist towards transfems like me who are not super visible (intersex, nonbinary, singlet, easily fetishized as a "man transitioning into womanhood" identity for others to idolize based on transmedicalist ideas of transfemininity, etc) and their denial of it. I'm just tired of any transfem spaces, but I still need people to connect to so I don't die from no offline support at all. Blogs like this are lifesavers for people like me, but that makes them so easily targeted. Often blogs like this are the only spaces I can have for even a shred of community without instant harassment.

If I found out I was transfem even five years ago, the online community would have bullied me into suicide. Things are getting better, sure, but not fast enough. People will say they support people like me, but rarely actually take action that does. It hurts a lot to see transmisogyny weaponized against me to gatekeep me from transfemininity because I'm not perisex/binary/etc. I've written about it a lot back when I had my own blog, how my gender isn't a cis perisex woman for so many factors and how each intersection ties into being transfeminine for myself. No one cares to actually listen and read those. They would rather assume I was never gatekept from femininity or incompatible with the performances of cis women for many reasons.

Where am I supposed to turn if I have nothing and no one to hear me? Do I just internalize that people act like those like me deserve no space in queerness or to be remembered as anything but "cis invaders who steal our culture"? I wrote an essay on this after my blog was gone, and talked about how I had a recloseting notice at the ready in the drafts if I couldn't take it anymore. My community outcasting and death was demanded of me from the moment I couldn't conform to transmedicalist and intersexist ideas for what I am. It is the price I have to pay for not being harmed: closet forever, stay out of queer communities.

I don't want the blogrunners getting pulled into being harmed for my existence. I won't be back. Hopefully you don't get harassed at all anymore. I just need to live with the fact that in practice, any queer communities want me dead by inaction and invisibility.

Tumblr did not let me answer this one for some reason but I have been allowed to randomly now. I am so, so sorry that you feel isolated and targeted like that. It's completely unacceptable. I want you to know that you are ALWAYS welcome here, and we will ALWAYS defend you and people like you.

Intersex transfems will always be welcomed and loved here, and we will always be a safe space. You personally are not ever responsible for harassment of any kind, and I promise you neither of us hold it against you.

Much love, anon. I hope things get better for you in particular, and in the discourse scene in general so people stop being such absolute dickheads about other queer people simply existing and trying to find community. Our door will always be open to you.

-🐺