#tf2 demos mum

[fruit-teeth]

Chronicles of Love and War (chapter 31)

Breathe in, breathe out.

Breathe in, breathe out. 

Breathe in, breathe out. 

Olivia didn't care that her breath felt far too heated to stay hidden under the heavy duvet that she had been given in an attempt to settle down. Her best friend had vanished, her family was scattered around who-knows-where, and she was at a loss for what to think at this moment. Pressing her cheek against the couch cushion, she listened to Bidwell and Saxton Hale's quiet conversation on what should come next from the other room.

Suddenly: the door to the house swung open. 

Olivia went still, until she heard her mother’s voice. “Olivia? Hale? Bidwell? Is anyone in here?”

Olivia sat up and threw off the quilt, bolting to the front door of the cottage. “I’m here!” 

She ran to where Helen stood, throwing her arms around her legs. Helen quickly bent down, scooping her daughter up into her arms and hugging her tightly. 

“Mommy, Lucy–!” Olivia started to say, but Helen shushed her. 

“I know, I know,” Helen spoke gently, brushing her daughter’s cheek with the back of her hand. “Lucy is all right. The others are figuring things out,” 

Just then, Saxton walked into the front foyer to greet Helen. “Is everything all right?” 

“No,” Helen said rather plainly. “Teufort has been…well, its been wrecked. And, according to Miss Pauling, the demon was headed for our headquarters.” 

Saxton’s eyes widened. “What? Why would that be?”

The smell of the familiar perfume tugged at Helen’s mind, but she pushed it away. “It’s hard to say. But it’s been momentarily held off. We now know that...It feels unbelievable, but these creatures can be vanquished by light magic of some kind.” She inhaled deeply once more. “The mercenaries have gone to find a group of…beings that possess this light magic.”

“Light magic?” Saxton repeated, and thought for a moment. “Actually…I might have something that could help?”

Helen looked puzzled. “What? How could you possibly have something like that?” 

Saxton gestured for her to follow, turning to walk into one of the bedrooms. Helen followed him, still carrying Olivia in her arms. 

Saxton went into the bedroom, reached for a dresser drawer, pulled it open, and looked around. After a moment, he pulled out a long, wooden box. Gently, he opened it, revealing a spiral, bone-like object wrapped in tissue paper. 

Helen stared at the object, before asking, “What am I looking at?”

“Unicorn horn,” Saxton replied simply. 

Helen looked back up at him, alarmed. “What!? How on earth did you…” she shook herself. “Doesn’t matter. Does it work?” 

“I have no idea,” Saxton admitted. “I’ve never tried to use it for anything. My hope is that your wizard companion would know how to use it. Do you know where I can find him?”

“He’s battling the demon,” Helen reached into the box and gingerly removed the horn, running her thumb over it. “Interesting…there must be a way to unlock whatever powers this has.” 

“I don’t know what it would be,” Saxton explained. “I’ve tried for a while to figure out how to use it, but it never does anything.” 

Olivia looked at the horn, and she gently reached out to touch it as well. She recoiled in surprise when, as she did, a little flash of light emerged between the pad of her finger and the horn. “Oh!” 

Helen noticed, and she asked, “Olivia? What did you just do?” 

“I don’t know…” Olivia looked back at the horn, before touching it again. This time, she kept her hand there, and the horn began to glow. 

Saxton watched in amazement. “It’s never done that before…not for me, anyway! What does it mean?” 

“I don’t know, but,” Helen carefully took the horn from Olivia placed it back into the wooden box. “I have a feeling we need to keep this with us from now on.” 

At the same time, Demoman was wondering what he’d just gotten himself into. Nothing felt real as he trudged along the forest floor, his hand gripping Lucy’s tightly. 

Lucy was sobbing, tears rolling down her cheeks. “I didn’t mean to…I didn’t…” she whimpered, shoulders shaking. 

Demo stopped, his heart aching. “Lass…it wasn’t your fault.” 

“It was! I-I dunno why I…” Lucy roughly wiped her eyes with her wrist. “I just wanna be good…why can’t I be good?”

Demo watched her as she wept, and a wave of pain flowed over him. Her tears reminded him of ones he once cried, many years ago... 

He didn’t have time to think about that, though. A twig snapped further away, and he quickly scooped up Lucy into his arms, looking over his shoulder. 

Fortunately, it wasn't the Corrupt, but what he saw still perplexed him: Tilly walked toward him through the woods, sweeping twigs away with her cane.

“Mum?” Demo asked, squinting at her, bewildered. “What are you doing!? How did you…?” 

“Your little friends said I would find you here,” Tilly grunted, approaching him. “I told you this would happen!” 

“What?” Demo’s mind reeled, trying to think over the most recent interactions he’d had with her. “When…when’d you say that?” 

Tilly stopped just before Demo, tilting her head up towards him. “I knew these bloody demons were bad news, and that dream I had when we first got here…it had to be a vision!”

“Vision?” Lucy mumbled, lifting her tear-stained face from Demo’s shoulder. 

Tilly paused, turning her head in Lucy’s direction. “Huh? Lad, who’s with you?” 

“Lucy, Merasmus’s girl,” Demo affirmed. “You met her, you know her. I’m keepin’ her safe,” 

Tilly took this in for a moment, saying nothing. Finally, she said, “Put that little lass somewhere safe — somewhere they won’t get her,” 

“That’s what I’m trying to do, but there’s bloody nothing!” Demo explained breathlessly. “I’m ‘bout to put her in a hollowed-out tree, but…” he trailed off, turning his head and spotting something in the distance. His heart leaped in his chest, and he exclaimed, “An old church, over there!” 

Demo, Tilly, and Lucy ran to the church, which was abandoned and mostly destroyed but still safe. Upon opening the doors, the smell of dust was overpowering, but that didn’t stop the three from entering.

Demo entered first, looking around the sanctuary, eye scanning for a clean place. When he found a little area behind one of the church pews, he bent down to remove dust and old trash.

As Lucy tried to dry her eyes, Demo took his jacket off and laid it on the floor. “Here, lass, lay down back here. We’ll take care of you, don’t worry,” 

Lucy climbed onto the jacket, still shaking, but she soon relaxed. Demo sat on the floor next to her, placing his hand on her shoulder to reassure her. The excitement and fear of the day caused Lucy's eyelids to close quickly, and eventually her breathing became even, indicating that she had fallen asleep.

Demo pulled his hand off of her once he realized she’d drifted off, and he turned to look at Tilly. “Those demons are bound to come back, but…she’ll be okay for now,” 

Tilly lowered herself down onto one of the pews, hands coming to sit on her lap. She looked up at the ceiling, clearly mulling over something, but said nothing.

A silence passed between them, before Demo remarked, “All of this…it reminded me of something,” 

“Hm?” Tilly prompted, though she didn’t turn her head in his direction. 

Demo sighed. “It reminded me of…when I was a lad, the day I…”

“The day you blew up your other parents?” Tilly finished for him, rather bluntly. 

Hearing her say it made a chill shoot down him. They hadn’t spoken about this in…Tavish didn’t even know how long. His memory was always shaky, but not so bad that he could forget accidentally murdering his adoptive parents as a child.

“Aye…yes,” he managed to say after a moment. 

“I imagine,” Tilly brought up her hand to scratch at her ear, turning her head in the direction of Tavish’s voice. “But no point in bringing it up. It’s in the past, more important things to worry about,” 

Demo closed his eye for a moment, drawing in a long breath. “Mum,” he said after a moment. “That’s what you always say whenever I talk about anything from when I was young.”

“In the past,” Tilly repeated, her tone of voice unchanging.

“Just because it was in the past doesn’t mean it stopped being important,” Demo informed her. He didn’t enjoy arguing with her, so he always did his best to avoid it. Even now, though, he wasn’t raising his voice. Not only did he not want to wake Lucy, he didn’t want to get too confrontational with his mother. 

“Aye?” Tilly raised her eyebrows at him. “Well, that’s the purpose. It's good to use the pain from the past as fuel, you understand? We talked about this, you and I – your Da said this, this is nothing new, Tavish. You use those things in the past to help you be who you are now, that’s the purpose of every Demolition Man,”

“I know!” Demo snapped, perhaps a bit more forcefully than he’d meant to. “But…what if its just…bad sometimes? What if you go through something, and it doesn’t help you grow, or find your purpose – what if it’s just bad? Do you know what I’m saying?” 

A shadow seemed to cross Tilly’s face. “You know nothing about what I’ve been through, boy.” 

“I didn’t…” Tavish recoiled slightly. “I didn’t mean you, specifically, Mum. I know you lost your brother, but…” 

“I didn’t lose him,” Tilly turned her head to focus on the ground for a moment, although she could not see it. “He was taken from me – stolen, by demons just like the ones who are after us,” 

Demo paused, taking this in. Finally, he asked, “Is that…is that why you’ve been so concerned about this?” When Tilly did not answer right away, Tavish prompted her again. “Did The Corrupt take Uncle Hamish, Mum?” 

He’d always heard that Hamish died, but he did not know what exactly had happened. Those on his mother's side of the family had always talked about it in whispers, but he never got the full story from them. Now, though, that seemed as if that were about to change. 

Tilly hesitated, silently at war with whether or not to tell the story. Finally, she realized she had no choice, and she began: “I used to be different. I was a dumb girl once, but Hamish…was different. A hard worker and everyone loved him. As for me, well…they thought I was a bit silly,”

Mathilda, at the age of thirteen, was completely different from Tilly, the woman she would eventually become. She spent the majority of her time in the fields, reading antique fairy tale novels with her two good eyes and fantasizing about a life as a princess. When her mother called on her to come inside, she would frequently pretend not to hear her, allowing her to spend a few more seconds in that dreamlike zone before being pulled back into reality.

"I am here!" Mathilda said hurriedly, rushing inside the house clutching her book in one hand.

Her mother, Rebecca, was in another one of her moods. Tilly could always tell when her mother was in a bad mood, as she would exhale loudly through her nose. That particular breathy sound was enough to strike a flame of anxiety into her. 

“Tilly,” Rebecca began, arms crossed as she leaned against the wall of their rustic kitchen. “Lord Dink says you were supposed to help weed his garden earlier, but you never showed up. Is this true, lass?” 

Tilly shrunk slightly, curls falling from her tied-back hair and into her face. After a while, she said, "Maybe," and then, hearing that deep, breathy sound once more, she blurted, "I forgot, Mum, honest! W-when you asked me, I was thinking of other things – !” 

“You’re always thinking of other things!” Rebecca scolded. “My bloody word, how on earth are ye ever going to do anything in life with your head in the clouds?” 

Tilly’s eyes lowered to the floor, and she desperately blinked back tears. Rebecca watched her for a moment, before sighing. “Listen: some nuns from the convent up north need some assistance with their services and some repair work done, and Hamish agreed to help them. You want to make yourself useful and stop daydreaming? Go find him and tell him to bring you along!” 

Tilly reluctantly placed her book on the kitchen counter and opened the wooden door to the outside, headed to the shed where her brother normally prepared for work runs. During difficult times, she enjoyed daydreaming about herself as Cinderella, her mother as the wicked stepmother, or Rapunzel being held hostage by the witch. It made her feel slightly guilty to think of her mother in such positions, because Rebecca wasn't always so harsh. It was only when her children were, in her mind, being foolish, that she needed to put her foot down. 

The door to the shed was wide open when Tilly entered. Hamish was in there, loading up his wagon with some of his things, when he noticed his sister in the doorway. 

“Tilly!” he greeted, a smile crossing his young face. At only seventeen, he had the beginnings of a beard, but his eyes and smile still had a boyish youthfulness to them. “What do you need?” 

“Mum said I should come with you,” Tilly explained, digging the toe of her shoe into the shed’s wood floor. 

Hamish’s smile faltered. “Missed another job, aye?” when she nodded, he sighed. “Well, all right, come along. I’m sure the nuns will pay you too, I’ll make sure to ask,” 

Tilly nodded again, and she stepped forward to look through the items he was loading in his wagon. “What’s all this for?” 

“The nuns are doing…” he searched for the right word. “Some religion service. I don’t know, I didn’t ask. All I know is they need help.” He grabbed the handle to the wagon and pulled it out of the shed, beckoning Tilly to follow him. “Afterwards, we’ll go to the bakery and get some of those sweet rolls!” 

“Oh, good!” Tilly exclaimed, bounding up to walk alongside him. She loved those sweet rolls, they were her favorite treat, especially after a day’s work. 

After a long hike, the siblings arrived at the mountain where the convent was located. Upon arrival, Hamish knocked on the door, his other hand still clutching the handle of his wagon. 

The door soon opened, revealing an older woman with pale skin and blue eyes. Her appearance surprised Tilly at first; the woman's eyelashes were a reddish blonde tint, but they were so thin that it appeared she had no eyelashes at all. 

“You must be Hamish,” the woman spoke in a low voice, opening the door all the way. “You brought a friend with you, I see,” 

“This is my sister,” Hamish introduced, gesturing to Tilly. 

The nun looked her up adn down, her eyes so icy they nearly made Tilly shiver. After a moment, the nun opened the door wider and let both siblings inside. “Well, make yourselves useful. We haven’t got all day.” 

Tilly followed Hamish into the building, which was large, ancient and ornate. The sunshine coming in through the stained glass windows lit everything, while there was obviously another source of light for the nighttime—candles, hanging in swings on the ceiling. 

“Begin by cleaning the altar over there,” the nun commanded, pointing to the altar at the front of the room. It was a large, thick slab of stone covered in a cloth. “Afterwards, we need you to fix the woodstove in the kitchen.” 

"Good enough," Hamish grumbled, removing the tarp from his wagon and retrieving his cleaning goods. 

“Oh, and one more thing,” the nun added. “Once you are done in here, a service will begin. We request that you stay out of the way while this happens and instead just focus on fixing the wood stove. We will fetch you once we are done with the service.”

Something about the way she said that struck Tilly as odd. Everything about this place was odd — although Tilly couldn’t put her finger on why. 

Hamish, however, didn’t seem too concerned. “Aye, ma’am. By the way, what should I call you?” 

“You may call me Sister White,” the nun replied, turning to leave the sanctuary. “I will return for you shortly, work quickly.” 

As soon as the nun was gone, Hamish pulled out a glass bottle of cleaning liquid and poured it onto a rag. “You want to help with this?” 

“Aye,” Tilly agreed, taking the liquid-soaked rag and beginning to wipe the altar with it. 

“Oh, careful,” Hamish leaned over her shoulder to watch her. “This stuff is pretty potent, if ye breathe it in too much, you could get sick!” 

Tilly hummed in agreement, pulling the collar of her dress up to cover her mouth and nose. Once the altar had been wiped down, Hamish went in with a finishing powder. 

“Something’s wrong with this place,” Tilly blurted out suddenly. 

Hamish paused, looking at her in alarm. “Huh? What makes you say that?” 

“It feels…weird!” Tilly couldn’t seem to find a better word to explain her feelings. “It’s creepy!” 

Hamish sighed. “That’s just because it’s old. This place is ancient, it’s bound to feel a little creepy! Once you’ve been on lots of jobs like I have, this won’t even phase you.” 

Sister White and the other sisters returned to the sanctuary as soon as the altar had been cleaned, powdered, and covered with a fresh cloth to begin the service. Just as they had agreed to, Hamish and Tilly moved to the kitchen in order to prepare the wood stove. 

Tilly stood by, watching as Hamish knelt next to the woodstove and looked it over. When he began to work on it with one of his tools, Tilly asked, “Do I need to do anything?” 

“Um…hm…” Hamish paused his work, sitting back in thought. “I don’t think so. Unless you’re good with a screwdriver,” 

Tilly wrinkled her nose. “Not really.” 

Hamish laughed a little. “You can relax for a while, then. Walk around the building…count the windows, whatever you want. Just stay out of the sanctuary, like the nuns said.”

Excitement flowed through Tilly, but she held herself back. “What if mum finds out…?”

Hamish waved her off. “Ach, who cares? She doesn’t need to know! Go play,” with that, he leaned beside the woodstove and went about fixing it. Grinning, Tilly wandered out of the kitchen, content to go explore. 

That would be the last time she felt freedom like that. 

While exploring the convent's hallways and admiring the artwork hanging on the walls, Tilly heard muffled chanting emanating from the sanctuary. She paused, listening intently, and curiosity got the better of her. She knew the nuns said to not bother their service, but she was sure it wouldn’t matter if she peeked a little bit. 

Tilly moved back to the sanctuary doors, checking to make sure she was alone before opening one slightly. She peered inside, expecting to witness a usual religious service, but what she saw made her pause: the nuns stood in a circle, offering a warbling chant as Sister White placed a variety of goods in the center. Tilly couldn't make out what they were chanting, but when she heard the name 'Lucifer', she had a terrifying realization: these nuns weren't ordinary nuns; they practiced demonic arts. She'd heard about similar groups before, but she never imagined seeing one in person, let alone in a convent.

Tilly's initial thought before everything went wrong was that she needed to go warn Hamish, then notify their mother, so they would never have to return here. When she saw a flash of orange light in the sanctuary, those thoughts vanished.

A gust of wind blew from the center of the nuns’ circle and blasted the doors wide open, knocking Tilly flat on her back. The air around her was abruptly musty and steamy, causing her to cough. When she managed to stand again, she peered back into the sanctuary. The nuns were screaming, and jittery, gray figures ran amuck in the room, overturning chairs and crawling up walls. 

“You idiots!” Sister White screamed at the other women. “Do something, get out the gold and get them back under control!”

“This was a mistake!” A nun next to her wailed, but she pulled out a golden compass and swung it to try and get the attention of the creatures. They noticed, and grunting, they crawled towards the compass. 

Her heart racing, Tilly turned around and tried to run down the hallway. She got a few feet when, suddenly, something grabbed her by the ankle and pulled her to the ground. 

Tilly let out a high-pitched cry as her body collided with the building's carpeted hallway, kicking at whatever had seized her. She tried to glance up, but tears clouded her eyes, and all she saw above her was a dark, towering form.

She could have sworn she heard it say, “Oh, poor thing,” before reaching down towards her. All of a sudden, a huge frying pan came flying, clocking the creature in the face. It let out a sharp cry of rage, and Tilly felt herself being yanked up by the arm. 

“Come on!” Hamish shouted, running towards the exit with his sister. He opened the door at the end of the hall for her, shoving her out. “Run, run home!”

Tilly whirled around, her heart pounding wildly as she looked at her brother. “Come with me! Please!” 

“I will!” Hamish assured her breathily. “Just go home and—!”

What happened next was a blur. There was a crash, yelling, and the door to the outside slammed shut quickly, leaving Tilly alone outside. She grabbed the handle and tugged on it, panic filling her veins when she couldn’t open it. She cried out her brother’s name, over and over, though somehow the voice didn’t sound like her own. She ran around to the other nearest door of the building, pulling on that one until it opened. This door led to the pantry, and after passing shelves of canned foods and flour, she stumbled into the kitchen. She dashed through the kitchen and into the sanctuary, dashing through the open oak doors and sliding to a halt just before the altar that she and Hamish had recently cleaned.

Nothing. Everything was eerily silent, and there was no sign of Hamish. 

The nuns all stood by a smoking, circular mark on the sanctuary floor, saying nothing. Finally, Sister White spoke up. 

“Idiots!” She exclaimed. “What kind of demon was that!?” 

“It wasn’t one, but multiple!” Another nun piped up, as if that was helpful.

”An occultist I met said this demon was one of the most dangerous ones,” a different nun said, her voice shaking. “But I couldn’t imagine it would be so hard to control…” 

“You’re lucky it was easy to banish!” Sister White barked. “Otherwise you’d get a damn good beating!” 

“Where’s my brother?” Tilly spoke up sharply, her voice cracking. 

The nuns froze and looked towards Tilly, all going silent. Finally, one of them said, “He’s not here. I’m sorry.” 

“Where is he!?” Tilly demanded louder, stumbling over to Sister White and grabbing her robe. 

Sister White pried Tilly’s fingers away. “The demon took him. He’s part of it, now, and he got sent to its realm when we banished it,” 

“What!?” Tilly’s heart pounded, reaching for Sister White again, but she stepped away. “Open that thing back up and get him back!”

”We can’t!” Sister White barked. “And there would be no way to get him back, it’s too powerful!” 

Tilly was sobbing so much she could barely breathe. She fell to her knees, wailing out, “Why!? Why wouldn’t you stop it!? Why did you bring it here!?”

”You stop that crying and stand up!” Sister White grabbed Tilly by the wrist, pulling her up to her feet. “Collect your brother’s things and go! I will have no more of this!”

Tilly felt herself shaking, and all she could think about was her mother. “Mum will kill you,” she managed to say, voice rough. 

Sister White scoffed, letting go of Tilly’s wrist and giving a dismissive gesture. “What do I care? If you tell your family, we will put a curse on your bloodline! So it’s best you don’t tell anyone what happened here…now get your brother’s things and don’t set foot in here again!”

The intense grief Tilly felt gradually became replaced by a feeling of numbness. After leaving the sanctuary, she went to the kitchen to retrieve her brother's wagon, which still had all of his equipment. The nuns said nothing to her — not a word of comfort, not an apology, nothing. 

As Tilly left the building, her mind kept replaying what happened. If she had stayed with Hamish, maybe helped him instead of going off to play and daydream, none of this would have happened. Her silly nature, her refusal to work, her need for her brother to save her…the guilt consumed her like acid. She fell to her knees in the grass, letting the wagon’s handle drop to the ground as she began to sob loudly. 

The pain and heartbreak soon turned into anger. She had never felt such intense, bitter fury before, and when she sat up and collected herself, her gaze fell upon the supply wagon.

Hands trembling, she picked up a variety of chemicals and examined them, realizing that if she mixed them, she could create an explosive. In that moment, she knew what she had to do, and her destiny was sealed. 

An hour later, she returned to the convent and opened the pantry door, holding something in her other hand.

She made her way to the sanctuary and stood in the center, placing the object directly onto the altar. She briskly turned around and walked back to the door, opening it and stepping out. 

Sister White heard the footsteps, and she looked out into the hallway just in time to see Tilly leaving.

 “What are you doing back here!?” She barked, rushing towards the girl. When the door closed, she tried to open it in an attempt to pursue Tilly. Yet she never got the chance to. 

It wasn’t a big explosion at all, but it was enough. Sister White was there in the adjoining hallway when the bomb hit, sending the elaborate stained glass flying and smashing the sanctuary. Tilly was not spared, as the force blew her back and sent her falling on her back. When she eventually managed to sit up, she felt a searing agony in her left eye and was unable to open or see out of it. She would find out later that a piece of glass had flown into her eye and damaged it beyond repair, but in this moment, that was not a tragedy to her. 

Tilly made the long trek back home, dragging the wagon behind her. By the time she stumbled inside the house, Rebecca was wiping down the table with a rag. 

Rebecca froze, seeing Tilly standing in the doorway, eye bloodied and without Hamish. 

“…Mathilda?” She asked, worry creeping into her voice. 

Tilly just stared at her mother, tears rolling down her face, mixing with the blood and ash. “They took Hamish, Mum,” she said finally. “But I got back at them.”

Shortly after this, Tilly immersed herself in the world of demolition, eventually meeting the man who would become her husband. Now, presently, her son stared at her as she finished her story. Though she no longer had working eyes to see him with, she could imagine the shock etched on his face. 

“My god,” Tavish managed to say, filled with nothing but bewilderment. “Mum, I…how…why did you never…!?”

”Because,” Tilly took a long breath. “It was my own laziness that led to me losing him. If I hadn’t wandered off…”

Tavish stopped her. “Mum, no. He wanted you to have fun. He didn’t want you to waste your childhood working like he did, he wanted you to enjoy yourself! Know why? Because you were a child! This wasn’t your fault,” 

Internally, he wished she had been the one to say something like this to him. Knowing what had transpired and who his grandma Rebecca was, Tilly's personality made sense. It didn’t make his own childhood hurt less, but it made sense. 

Tilly tilted her head downwards, as if focusing on the ground. She managed to say after a moment, “Doesn’t matter. I can’t get him back.” 

Tavish remembered Sniper telling him that one of the Corrupted Ones was his own grandmother, and that instant, he saw a light in the darkness. 

“You might be able to,” he said, his voice low. 

Tilly lifted her head up, brow furrowed. “Eh?” 

Outside, they could hear shrieks, and they knew the Corrupt was on the move again.

[quotidianish]

I love extrapolating ideas about the merc’s parents based off of what little is mentioned of them (me w/ heavy’s dad lol). Don’t let your boy drink, even though he’s already 13 (big boy number).

[jevilowo]

I love dates in the tf2 lore. I love knowing exactly when stuff happened. Which makes THIS THING I JUST FOUND a BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE

You've seen this image before, but have you noticed the dates on the prison card thingies? Presumably this is written the American Way (the writers are so american they make Scout and Sniper both call their mothers "mom" despite preferring "ma" and "mum" respectively, as shown previously SEVERal times), so Spy and Scout were arrested on

The 7th of September, 1972.

We can do a lot with this information.

Mann Co was taken over by Grey and Olivia half a month before this: roughly the 23rd of August

Contrary to popular belief, most of the comics have to take place in 1973! Seeing as 6 months after late August is late February.

This also means Scout had to have been born in 1946/7. Not sure about Sniper, I have yet to overanalyse the New Zealand timeline paragraph. I'll get to it eventually.

Medic implies in comic 6 that our mercs have worked together for "at least eight years", while talking about the lore breaking Demo eyeball halloween thing. Assuming the "at least" confusion is over the 1972 Halloween they missed while not working together, the Teufort Nine were hired in 1964.

(I've almost mentally rationalised the lore breaking eyeball as a thing they do at like 4am after regular Scream Fortress shenanigans. Almost.)

Scout claims he has known Ms Pauling for six years. During the War! update, Demoman is unfamiliar with Ms Pauling (he knows she works for the administrator, but thats it), so we can assume that is the point she started working more closely with the mercs, and also 1966/7

I really need to go back to actively working on my timeline instead of passively wondering at 11pm "hey what time of year is it in the comics" and going down a rabbit hole.

Uh if you want to build off this, feel free to, but tell society twas I, the great and nobel Jevil_Owo, who first conceptualised all this.

UPDATE! This post seems to be picking up reblog steam again, so now is a good time to say I was WRONG about the mercs being hired around 1964.

This blog post from 2009 claims the WAR update took place in 1962, meaning the mercs have to have been hired in early 1962 at the latest.

Seeing as Scout would have been 15/16 in 1962, and as that's kind of the youngest one can be hired for just about anything, I'd assume it actually is 1962 they were hired. Ok thats enough I just felt it was my duty as Person Timelining to update people on this Discovery.

[kondensaduhhh]

TF2 Mercs: Cooking HCs

all the mercs can cook, theyre all grown men ffs, but they're just better at certain things than the rest of them

this long as hell😭😭 good god, didnt expect it to be this long

first of all; Scout. Scout can absolutely cook, i personally think that a single mother who raised 7 sons is, first of all, a badass, and secondly, will not tolerate any of that "Women belong in the kitchen" bullshit, she taught her sons how to do basic life skills.

while, yeah, Scout can cook, he cooks breakfast foods best. sure, hes a little flinchy when the bacon starts poppin' but nothing he cant handle. He makes the best pancakes, toast, french toast, bacon, eggs, hell, the mercs don't get it but somehow even the way Scout makes cereal and milk in a bowl was better.

he doesnt measure either, he just eyeballs everything, which was one if the reasons he could bake for the life of him, no matter how many times his Ma and bros taught him. he makes killer milkshakes though.

Pyro!! idc idc hes a grown adult, hes not gonna burn anything, least of all the kitchen, he's too experienced with fire for such an imbecilic notion. Pyro's the best at making desserts, not really baking, he knows the basics, but not really his forte. Pyro made everyone's opinion on jell-o turn positive, theyre just that good. he can make flans, hard candy, ice cream, if its a dessert he can probably make it. everyone's favorite of his tho is caramel popcorn

Soldier usually either burns food or undercooks it but for some reason only when it's a shallow fry, he's great at deep frying and grilling, like hes super serious abt it, like he never lets whatever it is hes cooking out of his sight, he doesn't set up a timer or thermometer, its like he just knows when the food is fully cooked, he almost looks catatonic as he just stands there completely still watching the food cook but immediately starts yelling at his usual full volume when some tries to sneak in a bite of the food that IS finished cooking.

the demoman. most of Demo's food will usually have a very vague taste of alcohol in it, barely noticeable, the other mercs only realise it when they find out who cooked it. Demo's food always tastes great, unfortunately he can only make it once and he won't be able to recreate it, they're almost always just random ingredients that he somehow turns into a masterpiece.

although, there is one recipe he can make completely the same without fail, and it's his mum's favourite soup.

the engineer is the best at baking, with countless family recipes memorised and tweaked by his engineering prowess, it really is no competition. hes on par with Soldier in the grilling department, used to be a problem whenever they wanted to grill, and the two would butt heads, Heavy always put a stop to it before shit got too out of hand. at the end, it was Soldier who was the main griller, and Engie settled on making the casseroles and biscuits.

when it starts to get cold, everybody (ahemscoutahem) begs Heavy to make soup. While being in the mountains for 20ish years, Heavy found a lot of ways to make soup, from thin, brothy soups, to creamy, sticks-to-your lips soups. Fortunately, they dont have to beg for long since Heavy is always happy to cook his comfort foods for his friends, and while yes he does have to substitute most of the protein, the mercs dont see a problem with any of it, even though Heavy says it's not the same because it's not bear meat.

Medic can cook, it just so happens the only foods he can make without the aid of a written recipe are German dishes. He doesn't have much of a relationship with food, but can cook, but he does like to experiment which often gets tested out by either Pyro (bc he can stomach pretty much anything somehow), Sniper (bc Medic still wants to know if the food is edible and Pyro kinda doesn't count, and Sniper is the least picky with food), and Scout (this is mostly bc Sniper called him a pussy when he commented on the food)

Spy barely, very rarely will make food for the team, but if his ego was stroked enough he just might make a French dessert where he would pretty much blockade the kitchen bc French desserts are 'extremely fragile' hes exaggerating ofc, he just wants the kitchen to himself. while he does appear to be quite cold to the team, he does care for them and will, occasionally, not always, make them smth to eat when he notices smth amiss, he wont let them know its him (but they know, bc who else would elegantly plate smth as simple as frozen waffles?)

and finally Sniper. Sniper, if alone, would only eat what is necessary, not very picky either, has and will eat scorpions again if necessary. but whenever its his turn to cook for the team he always cooks family recipes, he has a box filled with index cards with his mum's handwriting, ranging from bread recipes, to a 3-day marinated beef stew. he usually just cooks the pasta soup and rice soups tho for stretchability of the dish

[blubushie]

Are there some things you dislike about fans' interpretation of the other mercs?

Yeah uh. This is long so it's under the cut. Whole TF2 fandom boutta be like 2Fort on my arse.

I hate how people make Medic "evil". He's fun and goofy and likes doing experiments and he'll betray the people paying him for the sake of his long-time coworkers who he's mates with. He's not evil, he's not manipulative, outsmarting the LITERAL DEVIL doesn't make you a bad person. There is literally nothing in canon to point to Medic being evil except MAYBE stealing a bloke's spine (coulda been dark humour for all we know) and turning a criminal into a sentient pumpkin, which is something that Engie HELPED HIM DO but no one goes around calling him evil. Medic is chaotic good or chaotic neutral, he is not evil.

The amount of people who are downright racist about Demo, or the amount of people who reduce his addiction to the butt of a joke. There's a lot of shit that I notice. They act like Demo isn't fiercely loyal—look at his relationship to his mum). They act like he's lazy because he's an alcoholic—HE HAS 3 JOBS AND WANTS MORE, HE WASN'T LAZY IN THE COMICS HE WAS DEPRESSED BECAUSE HE LOST ALL HIS MATES. On the other end of the coin, you have people insisting that Demo's alcoholism isn't as bad as it actually is, as if substance abuse is a fucking moral failing and they can't have their blorbo be a bad person by just letting him be the alcoholic he's shown to be in canon.

As an intersex man: do not get me fucking started on the amount of intersex+NB headcanons I've seen of Pyro. People need to realise that like the rest of the human population, most intersex people are cis, that gender is not equivalent to sex, and that EVERY intersex character being non-binary promotes a harmful stereotype. Actually I'll be honest—I side-eye EVERY intersex Pyro headcanon what's made by a perisex person. Most the time they give off massive virtue signal vibes and I really don't like how the second you can't clearly determine someone's gender people immediately go "ah, intersex" like we're all visually androgynous. I also don't like how the person MOST OTHERED ON THE TEAM is always given the intersex headcanon. It doesn't make me feel represented, it makes me feel like everyone already seems me as an other and that's all I'll ever be.

People who act like the pronoun police and insist Pyro's pronouns are they/them. Canonically Pyro is always and consistently referred to as he/him except when he's being dehumanised by his own team and called it. It's cool if you headcanon Pyro as using they/them, just remember it ISN'T CANON and you shouldn't be getting on people's arse about non-canon pronouns. What are you a cop?

On a similar vein, the amount of people who infantilise Pyro. Pyro was literally the CEO OF A COMPANY who was responsible for RECORD PROFITS OF THAT COMPANY. Pyro is an adult. People assume that because Pyro hallucinates or enjoys "childish" things that it means Pyro's a child. Please be fucking normal about mental illness, my god.

People who make Scout transfem for the sole purpose of shipping Scout with Pauling, worse even if they outright make it so that Scout transitioned SPECIFICALLY to hook up with Pauling. You realise that you're enforcing TERF "all transfems are predatory and transition just to get chicks/transfem lesbians are just straight men" rhetoric right? Please tell me you're aware. People who make Scout transfem for reasons beside this (ie you just like transfem Scout) and still hook her up with Pauling for fun, I love you and this post is not about you. <3

People who ignore Medic's likely bisexuality in favour of writing him as a strictly gay male. Bi erasure is fucking real lads. If you have the view that Demo was talking out his arse and didn't actually shag Medic's wife cuz he's not even married, cool ok. I'm talking about the people who insist Medic's wife was his beard.

People who act like the ship police with Pauling's sexuality when her being a lesbian was something mentioned in one tweet on Twitter by Jay, not approved by Valve, and never referenced in the source material (outside of MAYBE how she stared at Zhanna while she was fighting robots, but that facial expression could also be interpreted as impressed or "so horrified she can't look away". Especially when she outright agreed to go on a second date with Scout in Expiration Date. If you headcanon her as a lesbian, cool! Just don't enforce it on other people and give them flak for shipping her with non-women characters. This applies to people aggressively enforcing Medic's sexuality as well. What are you a cop?

How the character people trans the most is the white skinny twink, white skinny otter, or white wolf. Why not Demo? Trans people of colour exist too. I can count the trans Demo headcanons I've seen on one hand. Why not Heavy? Why not Heavy? You know fat trans people exist too right?

My family is southern and half the time people don't know what the fuck goes on down south. Tell me you've never been to a cookout without telling me you've never been to a cookout. They either write him as too northern/coasty and only enforce the "stereotype" southern aspects of him, or they write him as racist/homophobic/transphobic/etc because he's southern. Luckily the latter gets a LOT of pushback on Tumblr so I haven't seen it much, but it's more prevalent on Twitter and fanfic sites.

People conveniently ignoring how Heavy's father was killed and his family was imprisoned by the USSR so they can call him a communist. Lol what. I get that you hate capitalism but you realise there's more options than just capitalism vs communism vs socialism right? That you can hate/dislike communism without also being a capitalist? Heavy would not support communism after what the USSR did to his family in the name of communism because his father was a counter-revolutionary. Also people ignoring WHY Heavy's father was killed, and how his father having different politics got his whole family, including innocent children chucked to a GULAG IN SIBERIA where they were starved and constantly abused by the guards, and how even after their escape the government continued to hunt them with the intent of killing them. He would not be a communist. He probably sees a hammer and sickle in his fucken nightmares.

Spy being evil and an arsehole. You know his schtick is the suave gentleman right? He's cool but he also has to be cringefail. And arsehole is a far cry from a gentleman.

People making Soldier a bigot. Har har I know it's funny to joke about the bloke obsessed with America being a bigot, but do you honestly think he cares enough? He's xenophobic at worst. Everyone is assumed to be American and his best mate is a black Scottish cyclops. Half the time I'm convinced you people want Soldier to be a bigot so you can write bigoted shit and not cop shit cuz it's coming out of his mouth.

Carrying on from prev, the amount of people I've seen use the time setting as an excuse to be bigoted towards the characters. This is ESPECIALLY prevalent where it seems like every story-focussed fic of Demo has a scene where someone is being racist to him and he Heroically Sticks Up For Himself or someone else sticks up for him to show How Much They Don't Care About Being Seen With A Black Man (usually it's Soldier, sometimes it's Sniper). You realise everyone knows racism is bad, right? That that's really not necessary? It wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't in EVERY FIC but it's like the author always needs to proudly claim themselves Not Racist while writing REALLY RACIST SHIT directed at the ONE CONFIRMABLE MAN OF COLOUR on the team just so they can yell "RACISM BAD but here's me jumping at the opportunity to call a man of colour a racial slur".

Well, reckon that about covers her...

[moonisagremlin]

okay, so i'm re-reading ALL of the TF2 comics for my little zine project, and i have discovered interesting things and silly things.

starting with the WAR! update comic:

-The Bitch connects her microphone to different speakers to talk to both RED and BLU team.

-Meet the Spy is canon in the comics.

-The Bitch can read people pretty well i guess.

-The BLU soldier and the RED demo are besties. They met at a projectile weapons expo. They knew eachother for six months before the WAR! comic.

-The Bitch doesn't have any friends (whomp whomp).

-The Bitch: "In my experience, Miss Pauling, nothing kills a friendship faster... than a healthy competition."

-Saxton Hale is... just. like. that.

-Wait, did the first design of Bidwell have a moustache?

-Saxton FUCKS. (With The Bitch. What the fuck.) ((he also tries flirting with Miss Pauling.))

-monke lore:

poopy joe was an american monkeynaut that sadly passed away in a tragic explosion that occurred moments later after the launch. mann.co was involved in this accident but they keep denying it for legal reasons (during the comic they're going to be under senate investigation soon, and it seems that they were in BIG TROUBLE, so Helen asking for weapons was actually a great way for them to dispose of those weapons involved in the accident).

-(RED) Demoman lives in a mansion in New Mexico with his mum.

-He only has one morning off a week.

-He has three jobs

-His mum is quite mad at him because his dad (rip) had 26 jobs (and somehow managed to be with his family)

-He makes 5 million dollars a year (with the current inflation that would be around- 48,980,957.43$ ????? WHAT??????)

-Demo is halfway to retirement, around his 30's

-He was raised in a home with a bad economic situation :c

-His dad killed the (obviously not real) Queen of England

-The mum misses demo's father :(

-The Eyelander is a haunted, pattern-welded damascus steel and harmonically balanced sword slowly-forged for generations in the bowels of captured english kings

-Not only did Miss Pauling gave him The Eyelander, also multiple cases with weapons that we see in-game (the scottish resistance, for example)

-Miss Pauling calls him Mister DeGroot, which is kinda weird considering they're coworkers and know eachother, but i guess that during this time they weren't really close because demo only knew her as "that wee lass that works with the angry lady who's always screamin' at us while we fight".

-BLU soldier lives in a really secured appartment with lots of locks in his door. He also has two little doors in which he can take his arms outside to necksnap people.

-He lives miserably. He doesn't let ANYONE enter his house. Only the tomato soup wholesaler or the delivery man from the rib place.

-He has BOXES filled with cans of food, so he's house really looks like a fucking bunker.

-They both fought the police together???? Friendship goals honestly.

-Neither Demo and Soldier wanted to fight eachother, they did it to defend themselves from the other one. Demo was made sure that Soldier betrayed him first, and Soldier was manipulated into believing that his best friend said he was a civilian thanks to a poorly-made robotic voice of Tavish. This all led to both of them fighting eachother for their own safety.

[neo-my-geo]

just found this wonderful tf2 dnd au and i absolutely love it omg

heres some questions

so is there a lore or a storyline for this au？or is it just a slice of life thing

also will sniper miss the original team/original life? if he ever got back to the og universe, how'd he think of this dnd world?

sniper got isekai'd like some anime main character is so funny to me lol

Aaa thank you!! It's been so much fun to work on so far

- There's some background lore for this AU (answering these asks has really helped on that front), though how far we dive into it really depends on what kind of content we want to make. And hey, if there's any demand for a D&D AU fic, I am nothing if not a man of the people (I'm barely holding myself back from writing like three separate oneshot ideas as is).

- Sniper's got conflicting feelings about his old life, which isn't helped by the gaggle of familiar faces he's surrounded by in Faerun. There are actually ways for him to make (brief) contact with regular ol' Earth using a few different spells (courtesy of Demo and Jane), though they haven't come across anything permanent. He misses his mum, obviously, and the language barrier of not knowing common is frustrating, but he enjoys being able to spend his free time (which is now much more ample than it used to be) exploring forests and tracking new and exciting animals. He'd still take any opportunity to go back, though. Knowing ONE person capable of magic was already enough to ruin his year.

If he ever did make his way back to the OG universe, he would probably be grateful for how predictable it is. Not knowing how a day is going to end is exhausting, and that's pretty much the only option in a world where half the people you meet can use magic. Despite that, he'd probably also be thankful for all the skills he had to pick up because of it.

[morthstaar]

Tf2 headcanon of hurt s/o? If you want to ofc. Let’s say their s/o gets hurt because of basically clumsiness? If you don’t wanna do like let’s say all of them could you do Demo, Heavy, and anyone else of your choice?

Thank you! AND AGAIN SORRY FOR THE HIATUS LOVE U 💗

TF2 MERCS (DEMO, HEAVY, ENGINEER) WITH A HURT/CLUMSY S/O

DEMOMAN:

Both of you have common trips to Medic because of all the tumbling and falling you two do, but he does not like seeing all the bruises and bandages you have.

He is a little pocket friend, which means he is everywhere you are so he can have you in his sight.

He will take a little break from drinking just to make sure you don’t fall on your ass and hurt yourself. He wants to be as sober as he can get so he can save you :)

Will carry you either over his shoulder or bridal style so you don’t trip over your own feet.

“ Nope, I won’t put ya down my little lamb. Ya might fall and hurt ye’self. I already do that me’self! “

The sweetest man when you do hurt yourself though. If he hears a thud or something break, he will come running,,,, or tumbling to your rescue like the hero he is.

He knows how to take care of people I think. He took care of his own mum while he was young, so he knows what he is doing.

If you are really hurt, he is a mother hen and will be there for you 24/7/365. Even if he is drunk most of the time and sometimes has no thought in his head, your safety is number 1 and always thought of.

“ Just rest ye legs for now. I’ll be here if ya need anythin’. I love ya dear. “

HEAVY:

Oh dear. He is a worried man.

Every time your clumsiness gets the best of you, Heavy already has Medic on speed dial, and already has you in his strong arms.

Every trip you take to Med Bay, Heavy is there with you, holding your hand, mostly for his comfort,,,

Always asks if you are okay and if he needs to carry you.

“ S/o, are you okay? Do you need Heavy to carry you? “

“ I’m good, hun. Thank you! “

Always right next to you after your injury, just in case you need to lean on him for support or need him to pick you up and carry you.

Never lets you walk after you have been hurt. He is your maid and he will do everything for you. Your laundry, your chores, anything. He will do it.

“ Don’t you worry. Heavy has got it taken care of. Rest now. “

ENGINEER:

The true mother hen. No doubt about it.

This man cares for his S/O deeply and seeing them hurt probably hurts him more.

He will often scold you for being so careless and clumsy but it’s only because he was worried sick for your safety.

“ What did I tell you about bein’ careful of your surroundin’s? You need to watch where yer goin’ darlin’. I don’t like seein’ you all hurt with them tears in yer eyes. Come on, I’ll gettcha all patched up. “

Has safety stuff around his workshop so there would be no chance that you would hurt yourself. He made it baby proof.

Always keeps band-aids on him at all times. Just in case you get a scrape from falling.

If he is walking beside you, he always keeps a hand on your back so he can quickly catch you if you do indeed fall.

If it is a serious injury, he will stop working and be by your side until your better. Like Heavy, will do all your chores and will cook for you. He is a sweetheart :)

“ Just close yer eyes sweetheart. I’ll be right here takin’ mighty good care of ya. “

[amirsirwrites]

Ello! May I ask for the tf2 mercs with a male friend who dresses feminine? Like he’d wear dresses and heels but doesn’t identify as a woman? How would the mercs react?

Bonus: The mercs decide to wear a dress with the reader.

Bonus #2: The mercs struggle walking in heels and/or putting on the dress.

Ello, anon! Heck yeah, you can. I loved writing this and I hope that you'll love reading it. Please enjoy :)

Mercs with their male friend who dresses feminine ❤️

Requested

Mercs and M!reader

------

Scout :

He doesn’t think it’s strange at all. When he was little, his mum liked dressing him up in all sorts of clothes and among them were dresses and heels so he’s a firm believer that people can wear what they want, no matter their gender. He thinks you look great in them and would love to go shopping with you in town to get some more. He’ll wear dresses alongside you sometimes because he likes how airy and light they are. Scout enjoys the feeling of running in a dress. Not heels though. The last time he tried to run in heels, he tripped and fell flat on his face. You still tease him about it to this day. 

Soldier :

He was amazed the first time he saw you wearing a dress and heels. “Men can wear those too?!” He’s only ever seen women wear them so he’s fascinated by this discovery. He’ll eagerly look at all the dresses and heels that you own and ask several questions about them like which one’s your favourite and where you got them from. When you let him wear one of your dresses and heels, he instantly loved the feeling of them. He’ll wear them on days when there are no battles planned. On his birthday, you got him a special American-themed dress and heels and he just exploded with happiness. The next few days, he wore them all the time. 

Pyro : 

They were never exposed to the idea that clothes were gendered so when they saw you wearing a dress and heels, all they thought about was how great you looked in them. They think that dresses and heels are super cool and pretty so if you allow them to, they’ll borrow some of yours. Pyro isn’t fantastic at walking in heels so they mostly just like to admire them rather than walk in them. Dresses, however, are something they’ll wear whenever they feel like it so sometimes, they’ll be sporting a beautiful dress while flaming people down in battle. 

Demoman :

He’ll be a bit surprised at first because not many men enjoy wearing feminine clothing but after that, he’ll be very supportive of you. Since he’s Scottish, he enjoys wearing kilts a lot and therefore thinks it’s silly that clothes are restricted to certain genders. If you ask him to wear a dress with you, he’ll gladly do it. He’s very chill about the whole thing. Having trouble deciding which dress or heels to wear? Ask Demo and he’ll happily pick out some very nice ones for you. 

Heavy :

He’s initially caught off-guard by you wearing feminine clothing since in Russia, men are looked down upon if they wear clothes like dresses. After a while, he gets used to it and thinks that you actually look quite good in a dress. He’ll be asking you a lot of questions about why you like wearing such clothing and how you realised you like wearing them. He’s quite hesitant when you ask if he’d like to try some of your clothes but he’ll eventually agree. He finds that he likes the feeling of dresses so he wouldn’t mind wearing one again. Heels are a whole other thing though. He was so scared that he would fall if he tried to take a step forward so he was just frozen on the spot until you helped him sit down and take them off. 

Engineer :

He’s fine with it right from the start. The idea that men can’t wear feminine clothing is dumb to him so he’s very supportive of you. If he’s out shopping and sees a beautiful dress or pair of earrings or heels, he’ll buy them for you. He has no issue with wearing a dress with you if you’d like him to. He takes a while to learn how to walk properly in heels but he gets there eventually. Funnily enough, he found a dress he really liked and called it his ‘thinking dress’. You’ll see him wearing it whenever he’s brainstorming in his workshop.

Medic :

He’s a man of science and logic and thus, sees no issue with men wearing feminine clothing. “You look wonderful, mein Freund,” is one of the many compliments he’ll give to you. He thinks that dresses and heels suit you very nicely. If you offer to let him try on a dress, he’ll do it. Like Scout, he’s delighted by how light dresses are. When he sees himself in the mirror, he’s impressed with how he looks. You’ll find him effortlessly strutting through base in a fabulous dress with a pair of equally amazing heels. 

Sniper :

Sure, he thinks it to be a bit unusual at first but after some time, he comes to appreciate the beauty of dresses and other feminine clothing. He really likes how good you look in dresses and will often admire you. If you’re going into town to buy more clothes, expect him to tag along with you. He’ll be browsing through all the clothes there are and pulling out some for you to try. If you ask him to try them on with you, he’s quite shy about it but will agree. Honestly, he looked great in some of the dresses. He’s terrible at walking in heels but he really wants to so he’ll be clinging on to you as he walks very unsteadily in a pair of high heels. 

Spy :

He is a man of fashion. ‘If it looks amazing on you, wear it.’ is what he believes in. When he discovers that you like dresses and other feminine clothing, he’s ecstatic. He’ll be spoiling you with several expensive dresses, heels and jewellery. He’ll even help you put on makeup if you let him. When he’s finished dolling you up, you look absolutely fucking radiant. He loves all kinds of clothes and will sometimes wear a dress with you. Let me just say - he looks amazing when he puts a dress on and he knows it. He can even walk elegantly in heels.

------

'Mein Freund' - My friend (German)

[welcome-to-ikea]

I love how we all call Scout’s Ma that, regardless of whether or not we call our own mom Ma

[spygender]

swordvan fic idea: in 1985, west hollywood became the first city in the US to open a domestic partnership registry for all citizens. demo and sniper hear about this and are like "fuck it, pre-wedding honeymoon roadtrip time" and travel all the way from where they've retired on the east coast to socal (technically i think retiring in norcal/pnw would suit both of them better but then that would be a very short roadtrip.....). they're getting a little older and stiffer and roughing it in the camper isn't as easy as it once was, but they have fun and it's tender 🥺

maybe there's some demo's mum + scout's ma friendship on the side because demo's mum is getting on in her years and he doesn't like the idea of her being by herself, and having her stay with scout's family seems the most suitable option.....

[quotidianish]

TF2 x ATLA AU :3

Lore, close ups, and doodles underneath !

Scout, Pauling, and Ludwig are the main three- scout, who’s an (admittedly shitty) airbender but not the avatar, who ran away after his father left. Once spotted by fire nation soldiers, he is presumed to be the avatar- and scout basks in the glory of his false identity. Pauling- a studious, too serious for her own good, non-bender, who’s Medic’s student. She’s of the southern water tribe, treating medic like her paternal figure after the disappearance of her aunt. Medic is (unbeknownst to pauling and scout) a blood bender who was exiled for his practices. He doesn’t seem to care for anyone or anything, also being very jovial and cheery.

All Pauling and Scout know is that Ludwig was exiled from the northern water tribe then fled to the south for an undisclosed reason. Pauling never bothered to pry and the Scout was too intimidated to. Here the avatar cycle has indeed been broken. It’s up to a group of nine ragtag men and one mousy girl to defeat Gray Mann.

And the main three villains are soldier, demo, and sniper who're all fire nation folk. Sort of the team rocket; never truly competent enough to cause real damage, that or their hearts truly aren’t in it.

Soldier's a fire bender who specializes in jet propulsion and was kicked out of the army. He thinks if he steals back the avatar, they'll let him back in. A weapon since childhood, once a bully, always a bully, or so he’s heard.Character arc being the realization the fire nation army isn't worth fighting for. Surprisingly, he is very good with spirits, opposite to his best friend, Tavish, who despises them.

Demo’s just trying to impress his mum and be a good friend to the Soldier. People pleasing tendencies, that's his character arc. He's supposedly a non bender who's mighty good with swords; but underneath his inconspicuous-ish eye patch holds a combustion bending tattoo. Only Jane knows this. Well-versed in calligraphy.

Sniper is a 26 year old yuyan archer who was discharged for failing a mission while he was young. He joined the other two with the same goal as the Soldier. His yuyan archer tattoo still remains. He's a non bender with excellent aim, who grew up on the rural outskirts of the fire nation. His character arc is something about not adhering to expectations and learning who he's fighting for; a combination of the demoman and the soldier’s lessons.

Spy's a crusty airbender constantly sporting a mask to hide his tattoos, and knife. Nobody has a clue where he's from and he takes orders from whoever pays him best. His airbending tricks are so subtle, the public believes him to be a crafty nonbender. Usually said tricks are only invisibility and voice alteration. While not assassinating political figures he traverses the spirit world looking for his wife, a fellow air nomad, avoiding physical aging in brief sprints of time. He returns on a well paid mission to kill the “avatar,” which was presumably the scout. Little does he know, that weird whiteboy is just some lame airbender. Who’s also his son. His bad.

Engineers the metalbender; an art perfected by his ancestors and passed down in whispers to him. I haven't developed him much. He teaches the Scout what he knows while obscuring information on how he got that metal arm. Him and the Pyro have a shared love of blacksmithing. From an explosion, he thinks..

Pyro's a spirit probably. Nobody knows what he is. Where he’s from? Pyro. What’s his gender? Pyro. Guy who sets things on fire. Presumably human judging by his questionable use of what looks to be fire bending. And also the Spy's companion! They met in the spirit world. He and the Soldier form a close bond quite quickly thanks to their good graces with spirits (to Tavish’s immense dismay).

Heavy's an earth bender who continues to win in underground fights. Residing in ba sing se with his three sisters and elderly mother, scout pauling and medic meet him in an earth bender championship. Despite what his appearance suggests, his patience is unmatched, which is his greatest strength. He has near -perfect seismic sense. He and the Medic get on quite well, and after the fire lord has been struck down, form a duo in the ring, earning even more won championships.

[mercenariesfallin]

im currently making demo and his mum and i just realised that demo is probably the one who does her hair and picks out her clothes and it gives me warm fuzzy feelings inside

[blubushie]

i'm kinda curious now... what are some of the worst/most ooc takes on the tf2 characters that you've seen 👀👀

I covered this before kinda with my "what does Blu hate about TF2 fanon."

For Sniper. For the rest of the mercs.

To sum it up:

Fandom constantly calling Sniper a Kiwi despite him only being born in Aotearoa and his entire character arc in the comics being "the people who birthed me aren't my real family, the parents who kept and raised me are". The fandom is so fucking weird about immigrants and adoptees. Also people who headcanon him as Aboriginal: I hate you because none of you can even fucking research shit to get it right. If you're Aboriginal and do that you're cool though. Namarnedjare ngudman <3

Twinkified Sniper. He's a sniper and uses a bow, he's going to have strong arms and stronger shoulders, and the comics depict him as lean.

Saying Sniper would smell. None of the fandom understands how important a lack of scent is during hunting, and Sniper is a hunter. Similarly, people headcanoning him as smoking cannabis for this reason. He does shrooms. If he's indulging in some THC that man is eating edibles so the smell doesn't stick to his clothes and skin and hair when he has to hunt.

Sniper being shy. The fandom doesn't understand how dog-eat-dog underground work is. This man would not survive long enough to become a world-renowned assassin if he was shy; also being shy would go completely against his professionalism mantra. He'd do whatever was necessary to get his kill.

Sniper being bothered by the cold. No one in the fandom understands how cold the outback gets during winter. He'd be absolutely fine. Additionally bushmen have to be highly adaptable to survive.

People making Medic evil despite canon pointing to him caring deeply for his team. At most he's chaotic neutral, and his only moment of "manipulation" is when he tricks the literal Devil, which I'm wagering is more than acceptable considering it's literally the Devil. Medic is not your sadistic manipulative monster archetype.

"Demo is abusive/lazy because he's an alcoholic" while ignoring him holding down 3 jobs while being an alcoholic, while ignoring him caring for his mum while being an alcoholic. Just say you hate addicts and go.

Intersex NB Pyro. I've been over it before. As an intersex man, I hate this fucking headcanon so goddamn much.

Infantilising Pyro despite Pyro literally being the CEO of a construction company and bringing in record profits for that quarter. And also being a mercenary PYRO LITERALLY KILLS PEOPLE JUST LIKE THE REST OF THEM.

People ignoring Medic's likely bisexuality in favour of promoting him as a gay man. I don't mean people saying that Medic was never married to start with and that Demo was talking out his arse, I mean people saying Medic's wife was his beard. The bi erasure is real. People treat bisexuality as a "less pure" variant of gay.

Bigoted Engie.

Communist Heavy (his father was literally murdered by the USSR and his family thrown into a gulag in Siberia because he was a counter-revolutionary).

Evil/arsehole Spy. Also people who take Spy too seriously. This bloke cracks "your mum" jokes and snorts when he laughs. Come on. Spy might take himself seriously but that man is not as serious as he thinks he is.

Bigoted Soldier.

People using the time period as an excuse to be a bigot so they can scream about how bad it is to be a bigot. You're still promoting bigotry. This wouldn't be an issue if racism wasn't a centre/scene in practically every fucking Demo fic. I'm kinda tired of seeing marginalised people be brutalised by a fandom so the fandom can virtue-signal about how bad it is to brutalise marginalised people. Can the characters please have some happiness? Or at least some angst that isn't a constant slew of queerphobia/racism/etc?

[meettheprivate]

Pet Headcanons [TF2 X SO]

Because I am that person.

Absolutely on board with a pet no questions asked: Scout, Soldier, Pyro, Engineer

Hesitant at first but will comply eventually: Demoman, Heavy, Sniper, Medic

Non: Spy

--

Scout: Has always wanted a pet, but with so many brothers his ma saw no reason to have yet another animal in the house. If you ask for a dog he will just be ecstatic! He’s always wanted a Boston bullterrier, or maybe a Rottweiler. Something cute but tough just like him! He may complain if you ask for a cat though, and absolutely no birds - traumatic memories of a certain dove come to mind.

Soldier: Let’s be honest, Soldier has a soft spot for cuddly things - he just doesn’t show it, like, ever. Sure he would much rather have a bald eagle as a pet, but that’s illegal and you (being the smarter of the two of you) have to deny him his right to possess an illegal pet. When you come to a compromise of a dog, he’ll say something to the tune of, “I want the fluffiest, softest, squishiest one they have.” Because he doesn’t want a dog that makes him think of the eagle he couldn’t have. He’d also accept a cat, as long as it’s the biggest asshole they have - which isn’t too hard of an ask.

Pyro: Admittedly, you’re reluctant to ask Pyro if they want a pet with you, as you’re kinda worried they might do something crazy while in Pyroland to your precious new addition to the family. So you recommend a sturdier pet, like a calico cat. You figure the cat can escape if necessary, and ya’know, they’ve got nine lives (right??). Surprisingly, you find out quickly that Pyro and your cat have formed such a tight bound that they can communicate to one another. Turns out Pyro can make cat friends easily!

Engineer: This sweet man is no stranger to owning pets. When he was growing up, his family had the sweetest pupper out there: a Golden Retriever named Austin. You decide to surprise him one day by bringing home a golden Labradoodle who you’ve humbly chosen to name Bee. He immediately falls in love with the sweet pup and goes to work to build the dog everything from a bed, toys, their own fancy collar, the works! He even made a metal dog tag shaped like a bee. You start to wonder if he loves the dog more than you - don’t worry, he loves you more than before for getting Bee, but he may love Bee more. Also, don’t be surprised if one day he comes home to surprise you and Bee with a little corgi puppy - so Bee can have a little sibling!

Demoman: There are a number of reasons why he is reluctant to getting a pet; they’re a lot of work, they can be messy, and they crave attention. He likes dogs, but doesn’t know the first thing about taking care of one, and cats? They remind him of his mum a bit too much. But when you suggest the wild card that is a parrot? SOLD. You both pick out a parrot that matches his team colour and happily take the sweet birb home with you. Demo adores his new friend, because now he feels like a true pirate king. Plus, the bird listens to his drunk ramblings, how could he not love his new friend?

Heavy: Unlike the others, he has never really had a connection to animals in any way. He used to eat bears to survive, he lived in a gulag, to say concept of a pet was abnormal was an understatement. When you ask, he at first shuts you down immediately, saying he’s too big, and he’d worry about hurting the poor creature. However, you show him the wonderful word of BIG puppers and he’s intrigued, but only slightly. Then you show him a Saint Bernard puppy, and then a full sized one. Heavy finally agrees when you tell him how it is near impossible for him to hurt the sweet big boys, just so long as he doesn’t try to ride one. When you bring your new pup home, Heavy immediately falls in love.

Sniper: It doesn’t take long to convince him. At first he says no because he doesn’t like normal pets like cats, dogs, birds, etc. But then you throw out the crazy idea of getting a pet wallaby (which is legal in some areas). The man was in TEARS. Now getting the wallaby was no easy feat - let’s just say it pays to know SAXTON HALE! - and when you finally got your joey you both were so pleased. The best part? It was cheap to feed your new pet as they primarily eat grass! A free lawnmower anyone? However, now Sniper’s asking if you’d be on board with getting a koala too. What have you started?

Medic: His doves are his babies. He thinks you should view them as your babies too and stop fantasizing about getting more pets. That is until you suggest the crazy idea of...Mice. Yes, mice plural. He thinks its a crazy idea, but then thinks about the irony of a doctor, a man of experimental science, and a whacko having pet mice and it just sounds so comical and crazy that he agrees to it. So now the med bay is filled with dove and mice excrement. Delightful. Medic also decided to name each of the mice after his teammates. For some reason he always liked to play with “Spy” by moving him around in his hands. Don’t tease mouse Spy.

Spy: Two words: Pet. Hair. Does he think animals are cute? Sure. He once thought about gifting Scout a bunny to prove a point. But he refused to own one himself, less he ruin his perfectly tailored suit by getting it coated with fur. He offers to buy you anything else to make up for this though, so at least he feels bad for rejecting your request? Also he doesn’t know why, but he feels like he’s begin rocked on a boat or something right now...Maybe it has something to do with Medic’s new pets somehow.

[hanktalkin]

absolutely fascinated by all your tf2 meta posts because... lmao well. this game and its chaotic patchwork lore have been living in my brain rent-free for half a decade now

1. honestly between "18 perfect idiots" and "the teufort nine" and the various flanderizations that have occurred between different writers/comics... I love thinking there are two separate teams, but then stuff like mvm and all of the comics make you wonder where the other nine mercs are running around. it's a whole hamster wheel of stuff like "if blu engie is assisting the administrator, then where is red engie?" and "whose mum is red spy in a relationship with? why does red scout remember things that happened to blu scout?" and "is the red team in the main comic story... actually the red team? doubtful??". absolutely endless

2. I also wish the comics went into more detail re: the team situation and the team dynamics/living arrangements. so badly. very intrigued by how the classic team seems to have stuck together (or at the very least kept in contact) for all these in-universe decades, though

3. "If RED soldier and BLU soldier are the same person is boots n bombs well and truly sunk bc i was kind of counting on zhanna to get with one & demo getting with the other in order to keep all my ships afloat" same lmao

... there's no central statement/thesis to this ask. just likewise hoping comic no.7 comes out eventually and *maybe* addresses any of this

Based on a (now deleted I believe) tweet by Jay Pinkerton, the official TF comics are committed to the "nine mercs" model. The comic was all plotted out before he left, so I'm going to guess that no. 7 isn't going to give us the satisfying conclusion we actually want. My guess is that Engie's just going remain BLU, and it's not going to be remarked upon. Sorry to burst your bubble 😅

Don't know if I'm repeating myself since it's been years in between these meta posts but yeah! I'd love to see how they would have combo'd the setup we see in the steam trailer where they all live and hang out together, with the tenser, no-respawn world of expiration date. Like, they fight BLU and can totally die at any time, but somehow they all always survive due to whatever wacky hyjinks were going on that week. Phineas and Ferb style.

I've gone on a bit about how I think BLU Solly = early soldier characterization and RED Solly = later characterization, but if things could line up so easily with another character I'd choose Heavy. Meet the team Heavy spends the last ten seconds of a minute long video yelling and laughing his head off. Comics Heavy is the strong silent type, as commented frequently. MtT Heavy's best quote is "some people think they can outsmart me. [..] but few can outsmart boolet." Poker Night Heavy has a degree in russian literature. They were obviously finding their footing w this character over the course of several years, and if we could split one of those personalities off into BLU Heavy it'd be so tidy.