#text; juliet & julian

[fromthemindofacancermoon]

Julie's Interlude

[deathlooksgoodonyou-if]

Are you kidding me? OF COURSE YOU CAN haha. I am all ears, really. The mc is my favourite character in the story. Hearing about yalls mcs will help me write them better.

Aaaa ty!! Here are MC 1 & 2:

MC #1:

Romea. Had a codependent homoerotic “friendship” with fem!Jules/Juliet. Always joked that Jules was “the Juliet to my Romeo” (and found it slightly amusing that her name is the feminine version of Romeo and she likes Jules whose name is Juliet) though i kinda think their matching names foreshadows jules’s death👀….

Has pale skin with freckles splashed across the bridge of her nose, long strands of black brown hair reaching her waist crusted with salt and water (she goes swimming a lot i imagine) dark brown eyes and long lashes, thin lower lip and plump upper lip, a gap in her teeth you could see when she laughs (and she tends to laugh around jules, though now she gives closed-lipped smiles), rangy build

Fiercely protective of Jules and would cut you to shreds if you hurt them

Reckless, often went adventuring dragging Jules with her

Gets jealous VERY easily, somewhat possessive, hates to be seen as clingy😭

Hopeless Bisexual (Jules was her bi awakening😭)

Did not take Jules getting together with Dylan Well At All

I think Jules and her had a similar dynamic of Shauna and Jackie in Yellowjackets <3

After Jules and Dylan got together I imagine her flirting with Jessica to annoy Jules though this backfires when later on she’s like “oh wait jessica’s kind of cute”

Wears jean cut offs, gothic chokers, crispy tops, oversized sunglasses, friendship bracelets she made for jules :)

MC #2

Evelyn “Eve” Had a codependent rivalry with masc!Jules/Julian that probably ended with them kissing angrily more than once😅

Has pale skin with a beauty mark near her eye, glossy auburn hair in a ponytail with faded pink dye at the tips, deep-set hazel eyes with a faded scar on her forehead, sunburned and bruised knees, short clipped nails, pale pink lipstick.

Often was snarky towards Julian, hate/love dynamic, though had that codependent pull towards him

Questioning her sexuality (bi???)

Soft-spoken, openly clingy towards Jules, weighs everything before speaking

Wears low rise jeans, sweater in dove grey sling across her shoulder revealing a strap of her halter top

I hope you like them and I can tell you about the other two MC’s if you want! <33

Romea

I love the name! I wanted there to be some name suggestions in the game, similar to Romeo too but couldn't up with any.

Always joked that Jules was “the Juliet to my Romeo” (and found it slightly amusing that her name is the feminine version of Romeo and she likes Jules whose name is Juliet) though i kinda think their matching names foreshadows jules’s death👀….

AAAAAAAA. I wanted this to be canon so bad but as I said— I couldn't come with a gender neutral name similar to Romeo. And if I decided to add this flavour text for any mc named using the letter R it would end up not making sense so I gave up on that idea.

she goes swimming a lot i imagine

This however can be canon.

a gap in her teeth you could see when she laughs (and she tends to laugh around jules, though now she gives closed-lipped smiles),

Shut up, this is so cute 😭

Jules was her bi awakening😭)

And mc was jules' 😭

friendship bracelets she made for jules.

You can actually possess a token of affection, representing your friendship with Jules. There will be a flashback linked to whatever item you decide to choose. The flashback, however will be shown much later down the line.

openly clingy towards Jules,

God, I love clingy characters. They're so cute.

I hope you like them and I can tell you about the other two MC’s if you want! <33

I LOVE both your mcs. Tell me about the other two!!

[emma-m-black]

Sister Kent - Chapter Four (End?)

Ted Lasso/OC (Roy Kent's Little Sister) (FanFiction) - PG

Takes place in season one, the night the Roy goes to Ted's flat and talks to him (and gets offered peanut butter). Ted and Roy's little sister hit it off.

This is a rough draft as always and I wrote this to be 4 chapters. Hope you enjoy.

Author Master List

Read Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three,

Chapter Four:

It took all of Ted’s brain power to not think about the fact that Juliet was currently standing in his shower, naked. He had been staring at a spot on the wall as his coffee grew colder, thinking about her, what she had said to him before they had shared breakfast and how she looked in his shirt. Michelle never wore his shirts.

The sound of Juliet entering back in the kitchen grabbed his attention. She was in tight leggings and his shirt. Now instead of falling to mid thigh it was cinched on one side, pulled snug by what he figured must be a hair elastic, and she was drying her wet hair with a towel.

Juliet caught him staring at her, and she smiled. “Told you I was stealing the shirt. I swear I left you some hot water, but I stole some shampoo and conditioner. Yours smelled better than mine, surprisingly.”

Now it was Juliet’s turn to wait. She had packed up her things and washed up the last remaining dish from the morning, Ted’s coffee mug. When he emerged back in the kitchen, he was dressed in light khakis and a button down with a Richmond Hounds sweater.

“Well Coach, you ready to go?”

“Let’s do this!”

With jackets on, Ted and Juliet swung their backpacks on and headed out of the flat. They walked side by side the distance to Ted’s usual meeting spot, where Beard was sat a coffee in his hand and two sat on the bench preventing anyone else from sitting.

“Coach.” Beard greeted as he stood up.

“Coach.” Ted spoke back.

Beard reached down and grabbed one cup and handed it to Ted before reaching for the other and holding it out to Juliet. “Julian.”

“Willis.” Juliet smiled back as she took the offered cup.

Ted’s eyes grew wide, and his mouth opened in surprise.

“We’re texting buddies now.” Said Beard matter of fact.

“Texting buddies. Know everything about each other.” Juliet said before taking a sip of her coffee.

With a roll of his head, Ted signaled for the group to walk on, and soon they were on their way to the clubhouse.

Arriving, Juliet stepped off from the group and made her way into her office. Ted and Beard continued on until they were in front of their desks and setting their stuff down. Once they were settled, Beard sat down, kicked his feet up on the desk and threaded his hands behind his head as he got comfy and stared at Ted. “Sooooo...”

Ted looked at Beard curiously. “What?”

“Did I see you walk in with Juliet this morning?” Asked Higgins as he rushed from the locker room and into the Manager’s office.

“Did you walk in with Juliet?” Nathan asked as he came in from the hall entrance.

Ted let his head whip back and forth between everyone in the room before giving his eyes a roll. “Diamond Dogs mount up.”

Everyone barked as doors were just, and blinds were closed. “Yes, we came in together. Beard was with us, though. Why aren’t you on him?”

“Their texting buddies.” Higgins and Nathan responded at the same time.

“Fine, she stayed the night. Nothing happened. We had dinner and beers. I didn’t want her walking home alone last night. She slept on the couch.”

“So nothing happened?” Asked Nathan.

“Nothing happened.” Everyone around Ted sighed in disappointment, all besides Beard, who Ted was sure already knew the details of the night. “She did say she was flirting with me though, but told me I need to know me before she can.” This made everyone sigh happily. “Said she’s a clinger.”

“This is truth.” Beard responded, and as everyone turned to look at her curiously, his phone dinged. Picking it up it was a message from ‘Julian’, followed by an emoji of a trophy, sad face, beer, the number two and a man in armour. He held it out for the other three men to look at.

“What does it mean?” Asked Nathan.

“Win or lose, beers tonight.” Beard said matter-of-factly.

“And have we thought about the Roy factor?” Asked Higgins, who scrunched his face as though he had tasted something bad.

Ted grimaced. “Oh, he made it perfectly clear he was not down for the La-Net train.”

“La-Net?”

“Lasso and Kent.” Said Beard quickly.

For Juliet, the day went by fast, and soon she stood on the side of the pitch tucked in behind the players with a first-aid kit sitting next to her. Juliet watched as Roy steals control of the ball away from the other team, laying on the grass, and not getting back up.

Her feet wanted to move, but she knew to wait for the signal, and sure enough, a player waved her over. This was it, the moment she had been dreading. Roy Kent breathed football. What would he do without it, she wondered? What would she do without her brother her, it was the whole reason she came?

The jog out to him seemed to take forever, but once she had reached him, Roy only looked up at her and said one simple word that told her everything. “Knee.”

Juliet bent down and looked at her brother. “I’ll get you up and moving, but you need to walk off this field on your own. Otherwise, I’ll never stop hearing about it.” Taking a quick poke to ensure that he had dislocated nothing, she helped her brother to his feet, along with the help of another player, and then they heard it.

The chant.

“He’s here. He’s there. He’s every fucking where. Roy Kent!”

“He’s here. He’s there. He’s every fucking where. Roy Kent!”

It echoed through the stands and soon Roy was pulling himself away and limping slowly to the exit on his own. Juliet made her way towards the coaches and gave her head a small shake and then moved back into position. She knew Roy was going to need some time, and she would give him that. Then she would see the damage to his knee and tell him for sure that this is the end.

They were so close, so close to victory, but Richmond lost. It was an odd sense of loss as they all walked into the locker room. Roy wasn’t there when they entered and Juliet was sure that he was hid out in her exam room.

“Hey. Ya’ll played a heck of a game out there,” Began Ted as everyone sat themselves in front of their lockers and the rest of the staff gathered near the office. “We may not have won, but y’all definitely succeeded. I mean, you gave the champs ninety minutes of hell. Now, look, this is a sad moment right here. For all of us, and there ain’t nothing I can say, standing in front of you right now, that can take that away.” Ted’s hands went into his pockets and he smiled out at everyone. “But please do me this favor, will you? Life your heads up and look around this locker room. Look at everybody else in here, and I want you to be grateful that you’re going through this sad moment with all these other folks. Because I promise you, there is something worse out there than being sad, and that is being alone and being sad. Ain’t nobody in this room alone. Sam, do you remember what animal has the shortest memory?”

“A goldfish.” Replied Sam with an enormous smile.

“That’s right. It’s a goldfish. Sam, what do you think we should all do once we get done being sad and or angry about this situation?”

Sam looked out at his teammates. “I think we should all be a goldfish.”

“I agree. Let’s be sad now. Let’s be sad together and then we can be a gosh-darn goldfish. Onward. Forward.”

Ted gave a nod to the team, and the coaches moved into the office while Juliet made her way to her brother.

When she entered the room, she was surprised to see Keeley consoling an upset Roy. She figured for sure her brother would have wanted to be alone, but he was changing, just like her. “Come on, big brother, let’s see what kind of damage you did.”

After X-rays and anti-inflammatory medication, Juliet deduced that the tares to Roy’s knee ligaments would need substantial time to recover. He was to stay off it, take drugs every four hours to keep the swelling down and after a few days Juliet and the team Doctor would decide if surgery would be needed.

Juliet was staring over her brother’s x-rays when a knock broke her from her thoughts. Looking up, she found a defeated-looking Ted staring at her, jacket on, backpack ready to go.

“That was quite to speech you gave coach,” Said Juliet as she stood from her chair. She picked up her coat and bag and looked at Ted as she rounded the desk.

His eyes fluttered from her to his shirt that she still wore, and then back again. He smiled at her. “Beard is waiting outside.”

“Okay.” Juliet stepped around Ted and out of the office when she felt his hand slip into hers and immediately stopped in her tracks. “Ted.” Turning her head slightly, she saw Ted staring at her.

“Juliet, I would really like to kiss you right now,” Whispered Ted. “I know you told me I needed...” Then he was cut off as Juliet leaned forward and placed her lips delicately on Ted’s. His free hand ran up the length of her other arm and she let out a soft sigh as his fingers splayed against the back of her neck. The kiss was light and soft and as Juliet went to pull away, the grip behind her neck tightened and the next thing she knew, she was dropping her bag and jacket to the floor as Ted pushed his lips hard against hers.

His tongue skirted softly against her lips and she felt her back press against the doorframe. Ted moved his hand to the lower spot on her back just as her lips opened and the kiss deepened. A deep growl came from Ted’s chest as his lips moved against Juliet’s and she felt the shock from his touches go through her, reaching her toes and leaving her lightheaded.

Then it was over. Ted was pulling his lips away and resting his forehead to hers. He had to take a few deep breaths to calm his now racing heart. “Wow.” Came the soft voice of Ted.

“Yeah.” Juliet whispered as she looked at Ted through her lashes.

Ted let out a chuckle as he adjusted the hand that was behind her neck forward so he could run his thumb along her jaw. “You should go find Beard. I’ll catch up with you guys shortly. I just have one last thing to finish up.”

“Okay.”

Ted then left. Heading up to the office of one Rebecca Welton, and before he knew it he was sitting himself down on her couch. “Tea?”

“No, tea and I are still on a lifetime hiatus. I’ll take a little water, though, please.” Said Ted as he pulled a white envelope from his pocket and opened, pulling out a small cardstock menu.

“Well, Ted, that was a heartbreaking result.” Rebecca said as she got the two drinks together.

“Yes ma’am, and I’ve been thinking about it, it is mighty unfair that you have to fire me so...” Ted held up the menu card as he looked to Rebecca. “if it’s all the same to you, I’d like to spare you the trouble and just quit. This here is my letter of resignation. I wrote it on the back of a takeout menu, but it’s in an envelope and I signed it, so, you know, it’s legit.”

Rebecca moved across the room and handed Ted a glass of water before sitting down. “Now you listen to me, Coach Lasso. You aren’t going anywhere because we have a lot to do for next season.”

“Well, okay.” Ted began both a little confused and a lot happy. “Alright then. So wait, tell me this though, the teams that get relegated, can get un-relegated, yeah?”

“They can get promoted.”

“So then year we get ourselves a promotion. Then we come back to this league and we do something that no one believes we could ever do. Win the whole fucking thing.”

“I like the sounds of that Coach Lasso.”

Ted went to take a sip of water before Rebecca’s hand shot out. “Bubbles.”

“Oh, thanks for that. Probably wouldn’t have ended very well.” He then took a small sip from his cup, testing the amount of carbonation in the water. “Hey Boss Lady, can I ask you for some romantic advice?”

“I don’t think I’m the best person to talk to about relationships Ted.” Rebecca leaned back in her seat and squinted her eyes at Ted. “This is about Juliet, isn’t it?”

“Is it that obvious?” Ted questioned with a smile. “I kissed her.”

“What!” Rebecca gasped with a smile.

“Yeah, like ten minutes ago.”

Rebecca blinked, and her head gave a shake. “Then what are you doing here, Ted?”

“Well, I kissed her cause you know, I thought it might be the last time I was allowed in the building. But what if she doesn’t really feel the same way? I don’t want another Sassy as great as she is. I’m not a one-night stand type of guy.”

Rebecca smiled. “Ted, people would have to be blind to not see the way you looked at her and how she looks at you.”

“Really?”

“Ted, do you like Juliet?”

“Yes.”

“Then what are you doing here, Ted?”

“Thanks Boss Lady.” Said Ted standing up, and then quickly rushing from the room, glass still in hand.

Bonus Chapter

[fatherramiro]

god bless but i know that the science trio is universally terrible at sexting

miles texts like a horny frat boy, charlotte is great at sex but terrible at dirty talk, and dan can’t even send a coherent text that doesn’t involve sex

[thvnderbclt]

📲 📲 📲 📲 📲 📲 (i said 10 but i stopped at 6 instead)

send 📲 for 4 times my muse didn’t send the text and 1 time they did.

#1 - Doe x Fabian

[ fabian -> doe ]; [UNSENT] hey, doe, we should get food sometime. like. together. romantically. like a date. or not, that’s totally fine too. [  fabian -> doe ]; [UNSENT] i like you more than friends. that’s coming on far too strong... isn’t it? [  fabian -> doe ]; [UNSENT] gideon is calling me a coward so here it is; i like you. a lot. we should go out sometime. [ fabian -> doe  ]; [UNSENT] gideon is now telling me i’m an idiot for trying to ask you out over text. he is correct. for once in his life. [  fabian -> doe ]; hi :) wanna grab lunch? my turn to pay :)

#2 - Prosier

[ gideon -> evan ]; [UNSENT] okay this is like the fourth text i’ve sent you. where are you??? why aren’t you home??  [ gideon -> evan  ]; [UNSENT] hannah’s spending the night with wyatt. i’ve been out all night trying to find you. [ gideon -> evan  ]; [UNSENT] so... looks like you left. on purpose. at least that’s what stu was saying. not that i believe stu; you wouldn’t just leave us right? we’re family, ev. [ gideon -> evan  ]; [UNSENT] i haven’t stopped looking. cain’s even helping now. winnie’s a mess. i’m trying to keep hannah happy but babe, i miss you. so fucking much. where did you go?  [ gideon -> evan  ]; come back home. please. i miss you.

#3 - Amrys

[ emrys -> alastor ]; [UNSENT] cain??? really?????  [ emrys -> alastor  ]; [UNSENT] so. you slept with my brother. that sucks. and you don’t even know why. [ emrys -> alastor  ]; [UNSENT] fuck you. and your dumb cute fucking face. making it fucking hard for me to avoid you. you don’t even know what you’ve done but it fucking hurt. [ emrys -> alastor  ]; [UNSENT] WHY CAN’T YOU LET ME IGNORE YOU. [ emrys -> alastor  ]; gid and i are swapping shifts this week. you’ll be working with him instead of me. see you next week.

#4 - Lupmore

[ remus -> sturgis ]; [UNSENT] i’ve been keeping something from you. you might hate me for it.  [ remus -> sturgis  ]; [UNSENT] so. i’ve been lying to you for most of our friendship. we should... talk. [ remus -> sturgis  ]; [UNSENT] I’M A WEREWOLF. THERE. I SAID IT. [ remus -> sturgis  ]; [UNSENT] Sirius has told me that approaching this over text is a bad idea, and I never thought I would see the day when Sirius Black was logical about something so, we should meet up to talk. [ remus -> sturgis  ]; hey, need to see you x

#5 - Dahlia x Milo

[ milo -> dahlia ]; [UNSENT] i can’t stop thinking about you. [ milo -> dahlia  ]; [UNSENT] i miss you. i want to see you. [ milo -> dahlia  ]; [UNSENT] why can’t i get you out of my head????  [ milo -> dahlia  ]; [UNSENT] i really should delete your number. but i can’t. it’s been months and i still can’t get over you. [ milo -> dahlia  ]; can we talk? please.

#6 - Jul2

[ juliet -> julian ]; [UNSENT] i’m a mess and you’re too good for me.  [ juliet -> julian  ]; [UNSENT] being just friends sucks. wanna bang again? [ juliet -> julian  ]; [UNSENT] why am i never enough?  [ juliet -> julian  ]; [UNSENT] there’s so much i wanna tell you, but i don’t wanna scare you away. [ juliet -> julian  ]; heeeyyyy, i’m bored. wanna hang out? :)

#7 - Mols & Fabe

[ fabian -> molly ]; [UNSENT] i’ve not been sleeping lately. i’m exhausted. [ fabian -> molly  ]; [UNSENT] you told me if i’m not doing great that i can always talk to you. so. i’m not doing great.  [ fabian -> molly  ]; [UNSENT] i’m worried about gid. i’m worried about me. i don’t know what to do. [ fabian -> molly  ]; [UNSENT] i’m sorry i’m a sucky brother. you deserve better. [ fabian -> molly  ]; prewett sibling movie night?? been a while :) just don’t let gideon choose the movie again. please.

#8 - Theodain

[ cain -> theo ]; [UNSENT] do you think i’m a shitty person? [ cain -> theo  ]; [UNSENT] i saw you kissing someone today. i fucking hated it. [ cain -> theo ]; [UNSENT] i think i’m in love with you. but you deserve better. so ....  [ cain -> theo  ]; [UNSENT] yeah i’m definitely in love with you. but i can’t lose you. you’re the one person that puts up with my shit and i’m terrified to lose you. [ cain -> theo  ]; i’m gonna punch emrys if i listen to him whine about alastor one more time. wanna get drunk?

[slightlycursedarcana]

Main 6 and what your name is in their phone

My texting styles post seems to be making the rounds again so here we go

Asra: My heart ❤️

classic and self-explanatory but he changes the emoji next to it all the time for absolutely no reason. the stars said so. My heart 🧽

Julian: Juliet to my Romeo, Love of my Life, All the Stars in my Sky, etc. etc. etc.

yes they change every week and yes he capitalizes them

Nadia: Beloved

lovely and classy just like Nadi. alternatively, Darling

Portia: magic sunshine💐

capitals are for chumps and the flowers are for you, of course

Muriel: MC <3

look the classics are classic for a reason. typing that heart is the most muriel has blushed in two weeks and you were there for it lucky you

Lucio: ⚜️❤️‍🔥🕊My dove🕊❤️‍🔥 ⚜️

if it’s not 80 characters long and punctuated with emojis, where’s the flavor? the drama? nonexistent according to Lucio

[bounce-a-coin-off-your-witcher]

such a man as all the world

happiest of birthdays to the lovely @newnamesamecharlotte​ ! I hope you enjoy this “Romeo and Juliet” themed ficlet. I’m probably going to post a smutty follow up ficlet sometime next week :3 

art by @mawbwehownets​

Romeo and Juliet au - 16th century Italy but make it the Witcher - secret wedding au 

tw: none, just cute fluffiness

Jaskier slunk down the alleyway with the hood of his borrowed cape pulled low over his face. The extra material cast his features in shadow and obscured his identity from the milling crowd of worshippers and merchants nearby. The last thing he wanted was to be discovered by one of his kinsmen before the marriage rites had been completed by his beloved advisor. 

The high stone wall of the temple was cool where it had been shaded from the sun and Jaskier let one finger slide along it as he walked. He felt the tension slowly draining from his shoulders as he moved away from the bustle of the street and further into the shadowy alley. 

With a bright grin and bouncing steps, Jaskier finally reached the door that separated the outside world from Friar Vesemir’s set of private rooms. It was an enormous stately door made of thick oak, which hung on three sturdy leather hinges, all three of which creaked ominously as Jaskier managed to tug it slowly open and slip inside. 

He shied away from the row of lit torches lining the far wall and stuck to the shadowed half of the passageway, the bottom hem his over-large cape sweeping the smooth granite floors as he searched out his confessor. 

“Friar Vesemir?” he called nervously, poking his hooded head into the door of the Friar’s antechamber. “Hello?”

From further inside the suite Jaskier heard the grey-haired Friar mutter a warning: “These violent delights have violent ends, like fire and powder which, as they kiss, consume.”

“You worry too much,” Geralt’s low timbre replied, serious but still playful. “We shall follow your instructions and avoid the main roads out of town, good Friar. Our parents shall not separate us no matter how desperately they try, and I assure you that no harm shall come to Jaskier. I swear this on my life.” 

“Is this the voice of my ghostly confessor?” Jaskier inquired, stepping inside. As soon as Geralt’s eyes landed on the smiling figure of his love he rushed across the room to gather Jaskier in his arms, holding him close against that warm, broad chest. 

“Geralt shall thank you for us both,” Vesemir said, waving his hand in their direction. He turned to examine his heap of scribbled texts and left the two lovers to speak in near-privacy for a moment.

“I must thank him doubly well,” Jaskier sighed, looking up into the golden eyes of his true love. “For without him there would be no holy union on this day.”

“Fairest Julian - my beloved Jaskier -” Geralt lifted one hand from Jaskier’s waist to caress his cheek, cupping the warm skin against his palm. The other arm he used to pull their bodies closer, until their chests were pressed flush together. The younger man’s plush lips fell open with a little gasp of surprise and Geralt felt the heat of Jaskier’s blush against his fingertips, “If our joy should be equally matched, for my own seems to spring from a boundless fountain fed by Aphrodite herself, then my heart rests easy in my chest.”

“With every passing moment I love you more,” Jaskier asserted. He wound his arms around Geralt’s waist and grinned brightly, “Your gaze is like the sun upon my face and I ache for your light.”

Vesemir pulled his ceremonial robe over his head and sent the two youngsters a meaningful glance. “Enough of this idle love-talk. Make haste to the altar, my children, and we shall make short work of your wedding vows. Melitele shall make two hearts into one and bless us with a glorious dawn, the dawn of a new era of love and acceptance within the borders of Kaedwen.”

Jaskier removed the cape Geralt had lent him and set it on the back of a nearby chair, revealing his wedding clothes to his appreciative fiancé. He turned in a quick circle to show off the white satin doublet and the baby blue trousers, the outfit he’d opted not to wear that fateful ball several months before. The night he’d met Geralt for the first time and fallen head-over-heels in love with the handsome, dashing White Wolf.

The only son of his family’s rival clan. Of course.

Geralt took Jaskier’s hand and brushed a light kiss to the back of his knuckles. “You’re absolutely breathtaking, my love.”

“Children, please,” Vesemir said, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Let us continue the ceremony.”

“Aye,” Geralt grinned. He took Jaskier by the hand and led him from the room. 

---

“And now before the eyes of Melitele, myself, and holy temple spirits, I do pronounce you married.”

Geralt and Jaskier blinked up at the priest with wide, glowing eyes. The white-haired man quietly cleared his throat and asked, “May I kiss him?”

“It wouldn’t be a proper wedding without a kiss, would it?” Vesemir replied. 

With a shout of joy, Geralt leaned forward and pressed his lips against Jaskier’s. They were husbands now. There was nothing the city officials could do to break them apart, nothing their parents could do to break the union and return Jaskier to his previous betrothed. 

They belonged together.

Tonight they would ride north to Geralt’s family cottage, which he had provisioned for this exact occasion. They would stay there while the news blew over, enjoying a month-long honeymoon at the foot of the mountains. Alone.

Geralt stood and lifted Jaskier into his arms, carrying him from the ceremonial antechamber and into the temple courtyard. Vesemir followed, trying to hide his grin; a new day was dawning. 

And it was going to be full of love.

[365days365movies]

January 8, 2021: The English Patient (1996) (Part 1)

Y’know, it’s weird. I distinctly remember the existence of this film as a kid, because of references made to it in pop culture...but I remember neither the film itself, nor the actual references. The film I’ve never seen, and the references are probably lost to time. This month has been a test of my memory, I guess.

However, the reason for this film’s notoriety in the ‘90s isn’t exactly a mystery, as it won 9 Academy Awards. Yeah. NINE, out of TWELVE NOMINATIONS. And this would FINALLY be a good time to mention something; something I should’ve said a LONG time ago. The Oscars...kinda suck. Yeah, they aren’t to be used as a bastion of quality when it comes to film. 

And yet, to win as many awards as this film did...there’s gotta be something there, right? Well, let’s find out, shall we? Let’s jump in to the desert and World War II! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

The starting days of World War II. A prop plane flies over the Sahara, and a group of German soldiers shoot it down setting the pilot ablaze, and almost certainly killing his passenger in the process. The pilot survives, horrifically burned, and he’s found and cared for by a group of Bedouin nomads

Meanwhile, Hana (Juliet Binche), a Canadian nurse, cares for patients, and finds out that her love has died in battle. Amongst all this, we flash forward to the beaches of Italy in 1943, where Hana is now caring for the amnesiac pilot, the Hungarian Count Almásy (Ralph Fiennes). As they move camp alongside the rest of the camp, Hana’s friends inexplicably die when their vehicle hits a landmine in the road. Damn, this is an unlucky lady.

She seems to echo these sentiments, declaring herself cursed. She spots an empty monastery, probably bombed at some point, and asks for permission to stay behind and care for Almásy there. She’s given it, to the reluctance of her commanders, and two two move in for the long haul.

Hana scours the monastery, and finds a library stacked with books, as well as a plum orchard. As she speaks with Almásy, we discover he’s a well-read man, with his only possession being a copy of Herodotus’ Histories, a classic Greek text from which we get many stories, real and fictional. But in the book...are memories...

Flashback! The Bedouin from earlier is speaking with Almásy in the desert, and he gets information of a landmark far away. An cartographer and archaeologist, he is in Egypt as a part of a pre-war expedition with the Royal Geographic Society. Their task is to map the Sahara, using a prop plane to do so from the air. He’s joined by Geoffrey Clifton (Colin Firth), his wife Katherine (Kristin Scott Thomas), and his friend Madox (Julian Wadham).

That night, in the present and the past, Hana and Katherine both recall a story of Herodotus, one of the ancient king Candaules, his queen Nyssia, and his assassin Gyges. The next day, in the present, Hana meets a neighbor back in Canada (where she lives normally), David Caravaggio (Willem Dafoe). The thumbless Intelligence Agent asks to be allowed to stay, which Hana allows.

However, it would appear that Caravaggio is there for another reason, and he begins to interrogate Almásy, also revealing his name. This leads, of course, to a flashback, during which the Count clashes with Katherine a bit in a marketplace. However, that night, the two dance at a party, and it’s revealed that he may care for her more than expected. And who knows; that might be reciprocated.

In the present, Hana breaks down in sorrow, having lost a bunch of people. Caravaggio tries to comfort her, and it’s revealed that Almásy might actually be the person who removed Caravaggio’s thumbs, and that Caravaggio believes that Almásy actually remembers everything.

The next morning, in flashback, Geoffrey Clifton leaves the desert, as well as Katherine. While the Count shows some concern, Geoffrey brushes it off, saying that she loves the desert. In the present, the monastery group is now joined by another member, Kip (Naveen Andrews), a Sikh mine-sweeper, who asks them to leave the monastery. Still, he and his sargeant, Hardy (Kevin Whately) stay there as well, as Germans have been spotted in the area.

Flashback once again, and Katherine and the Count become a bit closer as they continue to survey the desert. While stopped, Almásy discovers a cave covered in hieroglyphics, one of which we actually saw painted during the opening credits of the film. This is a real archeological site, called the Cave of Swimmers! Also means that the group is currently in Libya. Neat! And while this is an important discovery, the day ends poorly, as they overturn a car and wrecking it in the middle of the Sahara.

Almásy stays behind and sets up camp, surprisingly accompanied by Katherine. She kindly offers to him paintings of the hieroglyphics, but he coldly refuses them. She storms off. And SPEAKING of storms, they’re in the desert. She quickly comes back once a massive sandstorm hits the camp, and the two take refuge within the wrecked car.

Buried in the car, the two really begin to bond, as Almásy recounts different types of wind. But Katherine seems to be taken by the more open and caring side of him, somehow opened up by the storm. The next morning, they wake up a bit too late, and are missed by their returning friends until nightfall. In the process, it’s discovered that Almásy‘s actually been harboring affections for Katherine quite a while, and she finds this out by reading entries in his journal.

In the present, Hana appears to be falling for Kip, who may or may not be feeling the same; it isn’t made especially clear as of yet. Back in the past, Almásy returns to acting cold towards Katherine, most likely to allow her to preserve her marriage, as she begins to feel the same towards him.

Here’s the problem, though: he still has sand in his hair.

Yeah, so, I couldn’t find good footage or a GIF of it, but they go the fuck AT it, lemme tell you. It’s a very passionate beginning, but that leads to a solemn end, as the two realize that she’s married, and he’s not a big fan of commitment. And so, they part ways.

Not that it matters, because after their one-shot love affair, neither of them can truly forget. Christmastime is here, and Katherine is serving as a nurse. However, she’s soon the one getting a check-uNo. No. That was terrible, holy shit...

Lemme tell you one thing: this movie is pretty good at partially concealed yet highly passionate love scenes. However, they almost get caught, when it’s revealed that Santa at the party is actually Geoffrey. Katherine confesses to him that she’s tired of the desert, but they’re stranded there at the moment, due to the impending World War II.

Which, I think, is a good place to pause. Only at the halfway mark of this long, LONG movie. See you in Part 2!

[george-mackay-macfine]

Yes, Professor.

Requested

Synopsis: Y/N gets a new Professor, and she really wants to fuck him. 

Word Count: 3, 043

“Have you seen the new English Professor?” I looked up from my course book as Julian my best friend flounced up to my desk in the library. “I just saw him getting a tour of the school from the Dean, and boy,” He fanned his hand against his face dramatically. “The man could bend me over a table any day,”  

“Julian,” I gawked, “You can’t just say things like that, he’s a Professor, and last time I checked, sleeping with your Professor was still frowned upon,” 

“You didn’t see this man, Y/N.” He waved his hands about dramatically. “I would give up my degree and still pay the student loans for the chance to see that man naked, even once.” 

“You’re being ridiculous,” I scoffed, “He can’t be that hot,”

“You know how all the Romans of old had the hots for the chick who came out of the clamshell? Ya know, the one with the long hair?” 

“Yes, Julian,”

“He’s the male version of her,” I began to collect my things, as he continued to ramble. “He looked too good to be straight, but then again a lot of straight men these days have begun to dress better…”

“I’m going to go to class now… enjoy your fantasies.” 

“I’ll come,” 

“You don’t even take the class,”

“No better time to learn about English and books.”

“We’re studying Shakespeare, reading texts, today’s Romeo and Juliet.”

“Oh fuck me,” Julian bit his bottom lip, following me away from the table and towards the door. “Do you think he’ll be reading Romeo because, I swear to everything in Heaven, I swear on my mothers grave -.”

“Your mother isn’t dead,”

“I would die to hear that man utter sweet, sweet poetic moronic dribbling into my ears as he pounds into me,”

“You really have an issue, have you considered you know going on a date, maybe seeing if there’s someone out there who can cure the issues?” 

“They’re not issues,”

“No? Wanting your professor to lay you over his desk, pound into you while muttering Shakespeare into your ear isn’t an issue.” I chuckled as we reached the entrance to the lecture hall. 

“Ahem,” Julian and I froze, turning slowly to face the source of the intrusion. “Quiet… bold imagery there.” The man in front of me would have only been thirty tops, his hair was a dark brown, and his eyes the brightest blue I’d ever seen. He was dressed smartly, but not like the stuffy old Professors we were used too, he wore a white button-down, probably leaving one too many buttons undone to be deemed as more professional than a casual dress. He extended his hand towards me, “I’m Professor MacKay,” 

“I’m so sorry,” I began to mutter shuffling items to shake his hand, “That conversation, what you heard it was out of context, and I can promise you that you will never hear anything of the sort slip from my mouth again,” 

“Shame,” He muttered dropping his hand to his side, “I quite liked the bold imagery.” He looked down to his wristwatch, flashing Julian and I a toothy grin. “Best hurry, class starts in a minute,” Julian and I watched in two different emotions as Professor MacKay waltzed into the lecture hall. Julian was in a state of awe, his mind probably running over all the ways he could have Professor MacKay in his dirties dreams, whereas I was in a state of utter humiliation. Professor MacKay looked over at us once more sending me another smile as he dropped his satchel on the desk.

“You heard the man,” Julian pushed in front of me, “Best get a seat before they fill up.” I followed Julian into the lecture hall, my hair hanging in front of my eyes as I felt those of my new Professor on my body, wishing death upon Julian when he picked the seat right in front of Professor MacKay’s desk. 

“Really this one?” I hissed sliding in beside him, careful to keep my voice low in case a prying Professor was listening. 

“Wanted to be close to the front,” Julian’s eyes dragged over Professor MacKay’s frame, “Didn’t want to miss any learning,” 

“Oh, Fuck me,” I groaned head dropping back. 

“Really miss…” My head snapped up, eyes popping open as Professor MacKay knelt before me, his hands clasped together, a cheeky smile on his lips. 

“Her name is Y/F/N Y/L/N,” Julian pounced, “And I’m Julian,” He smirked lips pursing at the end. 

“Nice to meet you both,” He turned back to me, “I just wanted to make sure you were okay, you seem to be having an issue with your filthy language today,” 

“I promise, I'm not always like this…” I sat up straighter, “Normally I don’t even cuss, let alone speak how I did earlier,” 

“Relax, I’m teasing.” He stood up stopping when he was in front of my eyes, “But I want you to be careful, someone might take you up on the offer,” He bit his lip as he looked over me before walking back to his desk,

“Oh he wants the pussy,” Julian whispered in my ear, “Really bad,” 

“Shut up Julian,” I hissed, cheeks on fire. 

“But, soft! what light through yonder window breaks?” Professor MacKay burst out, “It is the east, and Juliet is the sun.” He picked up a book sitting on the desk, “Arise, fair sun, and kill the envious moon, Who is already sick and pale with grief,” I watched as he immersed himself in the poetry of the scene, “That thou her maid art far more fair than she: Be not her maid, since she is envious; Her vestal livery is but sick and green,” He looked at me as he continued, his eyes never straying from mine. “And none but fools do wear it; cast it off.” 

“Fuck yes,” Julian cried beginning to lead the class into loud applause for the new Professor, who had so quickly won over his audiences. 

“Thank you,” Professor MacKay raised his hand to hush the crowd, “My name is George MacKay, but the board doesn't take lightly to students calling their Professors by their ‘human’ names, so let’s stick with Professor,” He shuffled himself on the desk, “Now, who can tell me what Shakespeare meant when he wrote that passage?” 

“He wanted Romeo to fuck Juliet,” Someone called from the back of the room which caused half the rooms occupants, including George, Professor MacKay to snort out a couple seconds of laughter. 

“You’re not wrong,” George Professor MacKay confessed. “In this passage, Romeo uses an intricate conceit to express a simple desire, does anyone know what that desire is?” 

“To take Juliet’s virginity,” I voiced, 

“And how do you conclude that?” 

“Romeo begins by saying that the envious moon, Diana the Goddess of the moon, and patron of virgins, is jealous of her servant, Juliet’s radiance. He then goes on to beg Juliet to be Diana’s maid no longer, for the virginal uniform, vestal livery, she wears as a follower of Diana is sickly green in colour, and not to remove it.” 

“In lamens terms,” Julian questioned. 

“Romeo basically says to Juliet it would be foolish to remain a virgin,” I huffed, “Romeo, the frat boy of ye olden times,” I muttered much to the amusement of my Professor. 

“Correct, everything Ms Y/L/N said, was correct,” George. Professor MacKay clapped his hands together standing from the desk he began to bounce on his heels. “The phrase sick and green was hotly debated among early scholars, because of a discrepancy among the printed versions of the play.” He paused, “Can anyone tell me why?” He looked around the class, waiting for someone when no one answered he begun again. “In the first quarto of Romeo and Juliet in 1597, the line reads pale and green, which invites a new explanation of the lines,” He cleared his throat,  “Her vestal livery is but sick and green, And none but fools do wear it.” He picked up two of his books holding one in the air. “Some editors charge the compositors of the subsequent quartos and the First Folio where it appears as sick and green with carelessness, convinced that Shakespeare intended pale and green not to mean the green sickness of anaemia as is described three lines above, but to mean the colours of the uniform worn by Henry VIII's court jester – white and green. Thus, her vestal livery is the garb of a fool.” He held the second book up. “Others, not so much,” 

______________________________________________________________________

“I might need to consider taking this class,” Julian smirked as he waited for me to pack up my books. “Professor MacKay is not only delicious to look at, but he’s also extremely entertaining to watch,” 

“Julian,” I groaned, but I couldn’t deny it, George MacKay was delicious to look at, and I enjoyed the way his eyes looked at me, my face, body, lingering on my chest through the lecture. 

“I think you should try and seduce him,” 

“Julian…” 

“I dare you,” 

Those three little words were how it started, a game between Professor MacKay and I, except I, couldn’t be sure he knew he was participating. 

As the ‘game’ continued I upped the ante each lecture, it started off easy, low cut shirts, with lacy bra’s sticking out. 

Then it became low cut shirts with no bra, and with the lecture hall always being cold enough to harden my nipples I was sure Professor MacKay had gotten a good look at the pierced flesh, 

My next step was dressed, short ones that really shouldn’t be worn on campus, but I had a dare to win. 

I next resorted to wearing short skirts, tartan preferably but really anything that would allow me to teasingly spread my legs and give George a glimpse at my barley there underwear before I crossed my legs back over each other, pretending to be none the wiser to my Professor catching a glimpse of my hairless pussy, 

“Ms Y/L/N, can you stay a moment,” George called as the class began to pack up, it was Friday afternoon, and I was horny a week of teasing and I was in need of a good come down. 

“Can I help you, sir?” I asked once the last of my classmates had left the hall crossing my legs once again. George sat back on his desk, not even trying to hide that he was eyeing up my bare legs,  

“I thought you weren’t a fan of brave imagery,”  A smirk came to my lips, I couldn’t help it. “You think it’s funny?” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, sir,” 

“Fucking christ,” He groaned. “Sounds like Heaven when you say that,” I uncrossed my legs slowly, spreading them as I leant forward against the small wooden desk, breasts nearly spilling out of my shirt. 

“Sir?” 

“You’re enjoying the game aren’t you?”  George pushed away from his desk, striding over to me, he lent down so he was looking in my eyes. “Teasing me,” His squatted down, his hand starting at my ankle, running up my leg, unconsciously they opened wider, welcoming his hand against me. “Cunt’s dripping isn’t it?” I nodded, tongue dipping out to wet my lips. George’s hand hit home, his thumb against my clit teasing it. 

“F-F-fuck, George,” 

“Ah, ah…” He chided his finger leaving my clit, playing with the string of my underwear, “That’s not my name, is it?” 

“What do you want me to call you?” I whispered leaning forward, “Are you more of a sir, or should I call you Daddy?” 

“Fuck, you are a dirty girl,” George groaned, his hand leaving my clit, pushing my skirt up as he ran it up my body to my neck, “Call me sir,” He gave my neck a light squeeze, “You can call me Daddy next time,” 

“Yes, sir,” 

“Stand up,” He demanded standing himself upright, “You’ve been a brat lately haven’t you?” I nodded my head, standing upright myself, “And good girls are the ones who get fucked, what do the brats get?” 

“Punished,” 

“Punished, what?” 

“Sir,” I corrected, feeling a pool of wetness drip down my legs, “Sorry, sir.” 

“Good girl, now we’re learning.” He moved back to his desk, “Lose the shirt, and your skirt,” I quickly pulled the shirt over my head, throwing it to the ground. I took a little more time with the skirt twisting and twirling my hips as it dropped to the ground. “Turn around, over your desk,” I turned, bending over the desk I’d spent so much time teasing George from. “Going to take you here, so every time you have to sit here, you remember,” His hand came down on my ass, “How I spanked you,” Another “And how I fucked you,” Another spank “Okay,”

“Yes sir,” His hand went from my ass to my slit, fingers pushing inside of me, pumping once, twice, a third time before he withdrew them. 

“How does my little girl taste?” He pushed the fingers into my mouth, grabbing my hair with his free hand. Desperate to impress him I deep-throated them, imagining they were his cock, George pulled his hand out, pulling me to a stand, spinning me so my sensitive ass sat on the desk, He leaned down his lips meeting mine in a filthy kiss, his tongue shoving it’s way into my mouth, meeting mine dancing and twirling against one and other. He pulled away teeth gripping my bottom lip dragging it out before letting it go. “Taste good, Angel.” He kissed me again. “I could eat that little cunt out all day until your cried and begged me to stop…” I nodded, ready to beg him to. “But, you’re still in trouble for all your teasing, and I’m not sure if trouble makers deserve to have their cunts eaten out…” He pursed his lips “What do you think?”

“No, sir.” 

“See, you can be a good girl.” His fingers went back to my pussy pushing inside, my back arched towards him, his lips latching onto my nipples. 

“Fuck,” I moaned as he bit down, teeth teasing the bar pushed through the flesh. “I can be good,” I whined needing more of him. “Promise, I can be good.” His fingers continued to move inside me, unwavering. 

“Minute I saw those tits through your shirt, I knew I wanted to suck on them.” My thighs began to tremble from the pleasure he was giving me, “I’m going to fuck you, until you cry,” He murmured looking down at me with devilish eyes, “Maybe once you cry I’ll think about stopping.” His free hand went between us undoing his belt and zip before pulling my legs to his hips. “Keep them here,” 

“Yes sir,” I wrapped my legs around his waist, holding tightly as he reached between us again, grabbing at his cock. I felt it against me as he withdrew his fingers, pushing inside of me. He pressed in slowly at first, then all at once. I gasped out in shock, clenching down around him like a vice, fuck he was big. He looked down, at where he spread me open, tutting. 

“You haven’t even taken me in all the way, love.” 

“Big, sir.” 

“Too big?” I shook my head, 

“No sir,”  His hips pulled back and snapped forward, burying his length inside of me completely.

He was huge, wait until I told Julian about this, how good our Professor can fuck. 

“No one will hear you,” George growled into my ear as I let out a soft moan, “Louder,” 

“Fuck, Sir,” I groaned as he thrust harder. “You want everyone to find our your currently bottomed out in your student?” My question was accompanied by a moan. 

“Like I give a fuck,” He said lowly before he slowly pushed himself in, making me grip his shoulders tightly. He watched me through half-lidded eyes as I bit my lip, heavy breathing until he was fully settled deep inside of me once more. “And you're not just my student,” He groaned as I opened my eyes to look at him.

“No?” I asked sighing as he slowly began to move faster again.

“No.” He groaned, “You’re my little whore,” 

“Charming,”

“I try,” He groaned picking me up off the table, he laid me on the cold tile floor, his body quickly coming down onto of me. He took both of my arms and pinned them above me with his one hand.

“Fuck…” I moaned as I felt him fucking into me harder, chest to chest, his chest hair brushing over my hardened nipples. George let go of my wrists instead grabbing onto thighs sitting back on his as he thrust even deeper. 

“This is what you wanted all along wasn’t it?” He growled, his hand leaving my thigh coming down to circle on my clit. 

“Yes... Just like that...” I moaned, eyes rolling back as his fingers rubbed constantly over my clit. I could already feel the familiar warmth in my belly spreading. “You going to cum sir?”

“Waiting for you...” He smirked. He pushed harder, making me cry out as my orgasm washed over my body, sending tingles throughout. “Come again,” George groaned his grip lighting on my thigh, fingers continuing to work my clit, as he kept fucking me through my first orgasm straight into my second. My body exploded in pleasure as I felt George still deep inside of me, the warmth of his own orgasm making mine even more epic. 

“Holy fuck,” I groaned as George collapsed on top of me. I ran my hand through the sweaty hair at the nape of his neck. 

“You know how you’ll remember me spanking you on your desk?” I groaned in response, too fucked out to make any other words. “Well, I’m going to look at this spot and get hard every time because this is the place I made you squirt.” 

“Maybe next time I can do it on your face,” 

“How does later tonight sound?” 

[chrisbrecheenwritingaboutwriting]

Transcription

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Image: Tweet by Julian Lee (@julianLeeComedy)

Text:

What’s the difference between Covid19 and Romeo and Juliet.

One’s a corona virus and the other is a Verona crisis.

[aratilightwood]

Characters from ‘The shadowhunter chronicles’ as youtubers.

Clary:

(1) ‘Draw my (tragic) life.’

Thumbnail: Clary pointing a paintbrush to her head like a gun.

(2) ‘Vlog 37 - Isabelle made me sit through one hundred wedding dresses.’

Thumbnail: Clary rolling her eyes inside a wedding boutique.

(3) ‘The (useless) boyfriend tag.’

Thumbnail: Clary strangling Jace because he gets most of the questions wrong.

(4) ‘Underrated artists.’

Thumbnail: Clary holding a palette with a dreamy expression in her face.

(5) ‘One of my favourite pass times.’

Thumbnail: Clary surrounded by a big collection of Manga.

Simon:

(1) ‘Cover of ‘Always’ by Gavin James.’

Thumbnail: Simon sitting with a guitar on his lap.

(2) ‘My first experience with virtual reality.’

Thumbnail: Simon standing with a piece of headset over his eyes.

(3) ‘Vlog 23 - buying our first cat, Yossarian.’

Thumbnail: Simon in a pet shop with Isabelle, who’s holding a tabby kitten.

(4) ‘My girlfriend gives me a makeover.’

Thumbnail: Simon before and after a complete wardrobe change.

(5) ‘Why ‘Java Jones’ is the best coffee shop in Brooklyn.’

Thumbnail: Simon sitting at a table in his apartment with a coffee cup.

Jace:

(1) ‘My day-day morning routines.’

Thumbnail: Jace styling his hair in the mirror with a comb.

(2) ‘A tour of my weapons room.’

Thumbnail: Jace sharpening a short sword with tools.

(3) ‘Cover of ‘The Rains of Castamere’ by Sigur Ros.’

Thumbnail: Jace sitting at the piano with his head tilted back.

(4) ‘Mannequin challenge with my family.’

Thumbnail: Jace posing with everyone in the institute, while trying to keep a straight face.

(5) ‘Lyric prank on my girlfriend: ‘Girls like you’ by Maroon 5.’

Thumbnail: Jace’s screenshots of texts to Clary.

Isabelle:

(1) ‘My boyfriend does my voice over.’

Thumbnail: Isabelle holding foundation in her hands, and preparing to do make up.

(2) ‘Step by step guide to walking in five inch heals.’

Thumbnail: Isabelle standing in training gear and high heals.

(3) ‘Dollar store vs. branded products.’

Thumbnail: Isabelle holding a facial cream with a disgusted look on her face.

(4) ‘Vlog 29 - how many stores can I visit in a day?’

Thumbnail: Isabelle walking with a tired looking Simon, who’s carrying six bags.

(5) ‘Recipe for fish stew.’

Thumbnail: Isabelle cooking while Jace is gagging behind her.

Alec:

(1) ‘Vlog 14 - planning Rafael’s surprise birthday party.’

Thumbnail: Alec hanging up balloons, while Max is covered in glitter on the carpet.

(2) ‘Ice bucket challenge on the roof of the institute.’

Thumbnail: Alec unhappily sitting in a chair while he’s soaked in water.

(3) ‘First three months as Consul of a broken government.’

Thumbnail: Alec sitting at a desk with a cluster of papers.

(4) ‘Story time: our adoption of Max.’

Thumbnail: Alec sitting with his entire family, and Max is on his lap.

(5) ‘One hundred reasons why my Parabatai is a drama queen.’

Thumbnail: Alec frowning at Jace.

Magnus:

(1) ‘My boyfriend does my make up (fail).’

Thumbnail: Magnus sitting with too much eye shadow on his eyelids.

(2) ‘Every time I’ve had to save the shadowhunters from their own stupidity.’

Thumbnail: Magnus shrugging with a look of amusement.

(3) ‘Vlog 8 - buying my sons their first present.’

Thumbnail: Magnus smiling while Rafe and Max are opening a collection of the ‘Harry potter’ books.

(4) ‘A tour of my walk-in closet.’

Thumbnail: Magnus holding up a pair of Ralf Lauren trousers.

(5) ‘The most memorable moments of my long life.’

Thumbnail: Magnus reading from the same notebook he gave to Alec.

Mark:

(1) ‘Weird (not so weird) food combinations.’

Thumbnail: Mark happily putting chilli sauce on one of Julian’s pancakes.

(2) ‘Vlog 28 - impressing mundane girls with poetic pick up lines.’

Thumbnail: Mark bowing in front of someone with a mischievous look.

(3) ‘The whisper challenge.’

Thumbnail: Mark, Cristina and Kieran sitting with headphones over their ears.

(4) ‘Truth or dare based on viewers’ requests.’

Thumbnail: Mark sitting at his desk unhappily, with pink ribbon in his hair.

(5) ‘Q&A: how did our polyamorous relationship start?’

Thumbnail: Mark sitting with Kieran and Cristina.

Julian:

(1) ‘Recipe for pancakes.’

Thumbnail: Julian flipping a pancake while Emma is placing an entire strawberry in her mouth.

(2) ‘DIY: building inside forts.’

Thumbnail: Julian holding up a tent and Tavvy sitting underneath.

(3) ‘Tour of my art studio.’

Thumbnail: Julian standing inside the studio, near a blank canvas.

(4) ‘Vlog 53 - we went to best reviewed restaurant in Los Angeles.’

Thumbnail: Julian sitting with Emma and eating spaghetti bolognese.

(5) ‘One of my childhood habits.’

Thumbnail: Julian holding two lizards that have fallen asleep on his palm.

Ty:

(1) ‘Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s books ranked from my most favourite to least favourite.’

Thumbnail: Ty holding a big pile of his ‘Sherlock Holmes’ book series.

(2) ‘Every extraordinary pet I’ve brought to the institute.’

Thumbnail: Ty standing with a ferret draped over his shoulders.

(3) ‘Introducing everyone to Watson.’

Thumbnail: Ty sitting at his computer desk, with a thoughtful expression.

(4) ‘Reacting to movie adaptations of books.’

Thumbnail: Ty looking unimpressed while staring at the TV.

(5) ‘Bean boozled challenge with my brother.’

Thumbnail: Ty sitting with Tavvy, who’s holding a sweet packet.

Drusilla:

(1) ‘My response to being exiled from Alicante.’

Thumbnail: Drusilla holding two middle fingers up towards the camera.

(2) ‘Try not to get scared challenge with my sister.’

Thumbnail: Drusilla making a fake terrified face, while Helen is hiding her face.

(3) ‘Life hack: how do you pick a lock?’

Thumbnail: Drusilla holding a box full of paper clips.

(4) ‘Modern v.s classic horror movies.’

Thumbnail: Drusilla holding a dvd of ‘The conjuring’ film.

(5) ‘My daily hairstyle routine.’

Thumbnail: Drusilla holding onto her two pigtails.

Tavvy:

(1) ‘Try not to sing challenge with my brother.’

Thumbnail: Tavvy sitting next to Mark and smiling gleefully.

(2) ‘How long can I hide in a bag full of sugar, before everyone finds out?’

Thumbnail: Tavvy covered liberally in powdered sugar.

(3) ‘The best way to get rid of nightmares.’

Thumbnail: Tavvy sitting with a glass of warm milk, colouring books and stuffed toys.

(4) ‘Vlog 11 - trip to New York.’

Thumbnail: Tavvy, Rafe and Max standing together in Central Park.

(5) ‘DIY: making holiday cards for everyone.’

Thumbnail: Tavvy covered in paint and holding a small card that has a Christmas tree drawn on it.

Emma:

(1) ‘Lyric prank on my boyfriend: ‘I think I want to marry you’ by Bruno Mars.’

Thumbnail: screenshots of Emma’s texts to Julian.

(2) ‘100 layers of hats.’

Thumbnail: Emma standing with lots of hats on her head, including sombreros.

(3) ‘Vlog 29 - ‘Hidden treasures’ never fails to impress.’

Thumbnail: Emma holding an expensive dress while standing inside the store.

(4) ‘My training routine.’

Thumbnail: Emma looking down at her knuckles that have become sore.

(5) ‘Reasons why my boyfriend is the best cook.’

Thumbnail: Emma swooning over Julian, who’s standing in an apron.

Diana:

(1) ‘Story time: I really chopped off his arm.”

Thumbnail: Diana shrugging and pretending to look guilty.

(2) ‘My ideas for the new government.’

Thumbnail: Diana standing in a classroom, and pointing towards the whiteboard with a stick.

(3) ‘How do I balance my time in faerie and the mortal world?’

Thumbnail: Diana standing outside the entrance to faerie.

(4) ‘Life hack: how do you ride a flying horse?’

Thumbnail: Diana sitting on Orian’s back, with Gwyn behind her.

(5) ‘Vlog 41 - my boyfriend surprises me to a romantic picnic.’

Thumbnail: Diana sitting on a green hill, and watching the sunset.

Kieran:

(1) ‘Compilation of General Winter losing his temper.’

Thumbnail: Kieran standing in his royal attire, with General Winter glaring behind him.

(2) ‘An unexpected gift from an unlikely friend.’

Thumbnail: Kieran holding many animal calendars, including baby otters.

(3) ‘Vlog 62 - a surprise present.’

Thumbnail: Kieran holding a black Kitten with blue eyes, while Mark and Cristina are sitting with him.

(4) ‘Reacting to movie adaptations of Shakespeare’s plays.’

Thumbnail: Kieran holding a dvd of Baz Luhrmann’s ‘Romeo and Juliet.’

(5) ‘Story time: how did I become king?’

Thumbnail: Kieran sitting in the throne room of the Unseelie court.

Cristina:

(1) Homemade vs. Shop bought Mexican food.’

Thumbnail: Cristina sitting at a table, surrounded by different enchilada wraps.

(2) ‘A tour of my rose garden.’

Thumbnail: Cristina planting new seeds so they can blossom.

(3) ‘Reasons why coffee will help get you through the day.’

Thumbnail: Cristina holding a giant mug of warm coffee.

(4) ‘Story time: my eventful travel year in Los Angeles.’

Thumbnail: Cristina making a terrified, yet funny face at the camera.

(5) ‘Spill your guts of fill your guts with my boyfriends.’

Thumbnail: Cristina sitting at a table with Mark, Kieran and weird food combinations.

Jem:

(1) ‘A century’s old wedding gift to my wife.’

Thumbnail: Jem standing with a violin against his shoulder.

(2) ‘Preparing for fatherhood.’

Thumbnail: Jem hovering over a baby doll, with a nappy in his hand.

(3) ‘Vlog 54 - weapon’s shopping with Kit.

Thumbnail: Jem looking at Kit with exasperation, because he’s holding a staff like a lightsaber.

(4) ‘Reasons why ‘Mulan’ will always be my favourite Disney movie.’

Thumbnail: Jem holding a dvd of the movie with a smile on his face.

(5) ‘In appreciation of Lilly Chen.’

Thumbnail: Jem sitting and holding up a list the nicknames Lilly gave him.

Tessa:

(1) ‘Preparing the baby nursery.’

Thumbnail: Tessa smiling while Kit and Jem are behind her, painting a pink room.

(2) ‘Vlog 13 - how do you make brownies?’

Thumbnail: Tessa standing with Kit while he’s mixing ingredients.

(3) ‘Underrated authors.’

Thumbnail: Tessa holding a giant pile of classic books.

(4) ‘Who played Darcy better: Colin Firth or Matthew Macfadyen?’

Thumbnail: Tessa holding pictures of the two different actors.

(5) ‘Tour of my bookshelf.’

Thumbnail: Tessa happily standing in front of a large bookshelf in her bedroom.

Kit:

(1) ‘Prank wars on my adoptive family.’

Thumbnail: Kit standing next to Jem, who’s covered in sticky syrup and white feathers.

(2) ‘Baby gender reveal.’

Thumbnail: Kit standing near a balloon that’s either filled with pink or blue confetti.

(3) ‘Try not to dance challenge with Jem.’

Thumbnail: Kit and Jem posing in funny dance moves.

(4) ‘The demon pox song.’

Thumbnail: Kit smiling at the camera while Jem is frowning at him.

(5) ‘Chubby bunny challenge with Tessa.’

Thumbnail: Kit and Tessa sitting with a big bag of marshmallows.

[valsrandom1x1s]

jul2; [drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin

julian -> jules [text] omg juliet, are you okay?

julian -> jules [text] shit i’ll be there in a minute

@thvnderbclt

[a---z]

TRANSMISSIONS

www.twitch.tv/transmissions2020

Our collective isolation highlights that all forms of community are now more important than ever, and it is vital that we find mechanisms to support each other through this precarious time. In this extraordinary landscape that we have found ourselves in, it is clear that many artists, writers and thinkers are having exhibitions, opportunities and subsequent fees cancelled for the foreseeable future. In response to this, we are establishing a new project called TRANSMISSIONS. This is an online platform which will commission artists to share their work within a classic DIY TV show format.

Episode 1

| 23 April | 9PM GMT

REPLAY | 24 April | 9AM GMT

w/ Nathalie Djurberg & Hans Berg / Bruce Bickford / CAConrad / Salvador Dali / Brice Dellsperger / Tessa Hughes-Freeland / Juliet Jacques / Sam Keogh / Jiji Kim / Quinn Latimer / Mark Leckey / Kalup Linzy / Sade Mica / Laure Prouvost / Christopher Soto / Patrick Staff / The Cockettes / TV Party / Unarius Academy of Science / Su Hui- Yu –  Curated by Anne Duffau, Hana Noorali & Tai Shani Episode 2 | 30 April | 9PM GMT REPLAY | 1 May | 9AM GMT w/ Sophie Jung Episode 3 | 7 May | 9PM GMT REPLAY | 8 May | 9AM GMT w/ Tarek Lakhrissi – Your world is already ending Episode 4 | 14 May | 9PM GMT REPLAY |  15 May | 9AM GMT w/ Johanna Hedva – Tom Cruise Studies with expert guests Vivian Ia and Matthew Miller Episode 5 | 21 May | 9PM GMT REPLAY |  22 May | 9AM GMT w/ STRAWBERRY JAM:  A LITERARY HOUR with Mykki Blanco Episode 6 | 28 May | 9PM GMT REPLAY |  29 May | 9AM GMT w/ CAConrad with invited poets

Season 1 of TRANSMISSIONS will run as six weekly episodes screening every Thursday at 9 pm GMT and repeated on Fridays at 9 am GMT on Twitch. The 1st episode will air on the 23rd of April 2020 which will be curated by Anne Duffau, Tai Shani and Hana Noorali. The subsequent five episodes will be hosted by invited artists.  Each artist included in TRANSMISSIONS will be paid a fee in return for their contribution. With a sense of community, all the money used to pay artists in season 1 has been kindly donated by established UK art institutions and commercially stable artists.

Season 1 is funded and supported by, Artquest+DACS, BALTIC Centre for Contemporary Art, Studio Oscar Murillo, Somerset House Studios and Wysing Arts Centre.

  Episode 1 |  23 April | 9PM GMT

REPLAY | 24 April | 9AM GMT

w/ Nathalie Djurberg & Hans Berg / Bruce Bickford / CAConrad / Salvador Dali / Brice Dellsperger / Tessa Hughes-Freeland / Juliet Jacques / Sam Keogh / Jiji Kim / Quinn Latimer / Mark Leckey / Kalup Linzy / Sade Mica / Laure Prouvost / Christopher Soto / Patrick Staff / The Cockettes / TV Party / Unarius Academy of Science / Su Hui- Yu –  Curated by Anne Duffau, Hana Noorali & Tai Shani

Episode 2 | 30 April | 9PM GMT REPLAY | 1 May | 9AM GMT w/ Sophie Jung

Sophie Jung, The Bigger Sleep, 2019 courtesy the artist and Kunstmuseum Basel. Photo: Julian Salinas

Working across text, sculpture and performance, Sophie Jung’s work navigates the politics of re/er/re/presentation and challenges the reductive desire to conclude. Her texts unfocus on blurring scripted hegemonies and tap, hop, stammer and stumble over and across languaged powers. She employs humour, shame, the absurd, raw anger, rhythm and rhyme, slapstick, hardship, friendship and a constant stream of slippages. Her sculptural work consists of bodies made up of both found and haphazardly produced attributes and defines itself against the dogma of an Original Idea or a Universal Significance. Instead it stands as a network of abiding incompletion, an ever-changing choir of urgencies and pleasures, traumas and manifestations that communally relay between dominant and minor themes. Sophie Jung is invested in triggering a de-categorising of concepts and a deconceptualisation of categories and understands her approach to “stuff” – both legible utensil and metaphoric apparition – as an uncertain queering slash querying of historical materialism. Sophie Jung (lives and works in Basel and London) received a BFA from the Rietveld Academy, Amsterdam, and a MFA from Goldsmiths, London. Recent projects and exhibitions include Sincerity Condition at Casino Luxembourg, Woman Standing at The National Gallery, Prague, Taxpayer’s Money for Frieze LIVE; Dramatis Personaea at JOAN, Los Angeles; The Bigger Sleep at Kunstmuseum Basel | Gegenwart and Block Universe, London; Come Fresh Hell or Fresh High Water at Blain Southern, London; Producing My Credentials at Kunstraum London and Paramount VS Tantamount at Kunsthalle Basel. She is currently working on solo exhibitions at E.A. Shared Space, Istituto Svizzero in Milan and Galerie Joseph Tang in Paris and works as a guest mentor at Institut Kunst, Basel.

Episode 3

| 7 May | 9PM GMT

REPLAY | 8 May | 9AM GMT

w/ Tarek Lakhrissi

– Your world is already ending

Tarek Lakhrissi is a visual artist and a poet based in Paris. His works have been exhibited in Auto Italia South East (London, UK), Hayward Gallery (London, UK), Museum of Contemporary Art (Sydney, AU), Palais de Tokyo (Paris, France), Grand Palais - FIAC (Paris, FR), Lafayette Anticipations (Paris, FR), CRAC Alsace (Altkirch, FR), Artexte (Montreal, CA), Šiuolaikinio meno centras/CAC (Vilnius, LT), Espace Arlaud (Lausanne, CH), among others. He is a featured artist in the 22nd Biennale of Sydney NIRIN (2020).

Episode 4 | 14 May | 9PM GMT REPLAY |  15 May | 9AM GMT w/ Johanna Hedva – Tom Cruise Studies with expert guests Vivian Ia and Matthew Miller

Tom Cruise Studies is a meander of curiosity. There is no driving inquiry other than the question, "What's, like, up with Tom Cruise?" Hedva considers the various roles Cruise has played onscreen and in public, from religious zealot, to cocky upstart, to a man oppressed by his own masculinity, to couch-jumping love-nut, to an exiled actor who clawed his way back into Hollywood via a maniacal obsession with doing death-certain stunts. Joined by two expert guests, Hedva and Vivian Ia will consider the astrology charts of Cruise and L. Ron Hubbard, while Matthew Miller will share his theory that the Mission Impossible franchise is Cruise's vehicle for making public apologies to his ex-wife, Katie Holmes.

Johanna Hedva is a Korean-American writer, artist, musician, and astrologer, who was raised in Los Angeles by a family of witches, and now lives in LA and Berlin. Hedva is the author of the novel, On Hell. Their collection of poems, performances, and essays, Minerva the Miscarriage of the Brain, will be published in September 2020. Their essay, "Sick Woman Theory," published in Mask in 2016, has been translated into six languages, and their writing has appeared in Triple Canopy, frieze, The White Review, and Asian American Literary Review. Their work has been shown at The Institute of Contemporary Arts in London, Performance Space New York, the LA Architecture and Design Museum, and the Museum of Contemporary Art on the Moon, as well as featured in parrhesiades. Their album, The Sun and the Moon, was released in March 2019, and they’re currently touring Black Moon Lilith in Pisces in the 4th House, a doom metal guitar and voice performance influenced by Korean shamanist ritual.  

Vivian Ia lives in Berlin. Their poetry is Pushcart-nominated and has appeared or is forthcoming in Bone Bouquet, Tiny Seed, The Gravity of the Thing, Fourteen Hills, and Berkeley Poetry Review.

Matthew Miller is a video director from Sacramento, California. He works in both live-action and animation to create short films and commercial projects. In the last four years, he’s directed a series of short films for The Getty Museum with artists and authors such as Ellsworth Kelly, Yo-Yo Ma, Mary Beard, Mario Vargas Llosa, and Ed Ruscha. He is currently in quarantine with his wife and Snoopy-esque dog, Millie, in Hawaiian Gardens, California, where he has been dividing his time between starting a garden and collecting ideas for a film project.

Episode 5

| 21 May | 9PM GMT

REPLAY |  22 May | 9AM GMT

w/ STRAWBERRY JAM:  A LITERARY HOUR with

Mykki Blanco

Join musician Mykki Blanco for an hour of music and poetry readings. Spoken word, lyrical breakdowns, a presentation on two  20th century American literary figures Bob Kaufman & Mina Loy as well as a first time listen to new unreleased musical project.

Episode 6 | 28 May | 9PM GMT REPLAY |  29 May | 9AM GMT w/ CAConrad with invited poets

CAConrad's latest book JUPITER ALIGNMENT: (Soma)tic Poetry Rituals, is forthcoming from Ignota Books in 2020. The author of 9 books of poetry and essays, While Standing in Line for Death (Wave Books), won the 2018 Lambda Book Award. They also received a 2019 Creative Capital grant as well as a Pew Fellowship, the Believer Magazine Book Award, and the Gil Ott Book Award. They regularly teach at Columbia University in New York City, and Sandberg Art Institute in Amsterdam. Please view their books, essays, recordings, and the documentary The Book of Conrad (Delinquent Films) online at http://bit.ly/88CAConrad

"CAConrad's poems invite the reader to become an agent in a joint act of recovery, to step outside of passivity and propriety and to become susceptible to the illogical and the mysterious." ---Tracy K. Smith, New York Times.

Thank you to:

All contributing artists, writers, poets, composers and thinkers; Maxwell Sterling; Adam Sinclair; Lori E. Allen; Artsquest. An artist-run programme that uses research about visual artists’ working conditions to provide support for professional artists; DACS; BALTIC Centre for Contemporary Art; Studio Oscar Murillo; Somerset House Studios; Wysing Arts Centre; Cabinet Gallery; Lisson Gallery & Max Bossier

https://www.twitch.tv/transmissions2020

@transmissions2020

TRANSMISSIONS collective is composed of:

Anne Duffau

is a cultural producer, researcher, and founder of A---Z, an exploratory/nomadic curatorial platform exploring artistic practices and knowledge exchange through collaborations, presentations, soundscapes, screenings and discussions. She has collaborated with a range of projects and organisations including ArtLicks, Southwark Park Galleries, Mimosa House and Danielle Arnaud Gallery, London Please Stand By, or-bits .com, PAF Olomouc Czech Republic & Tenderflix. Anne has previously run the StudioRCA Riverlight, London programme (2016-2018) and is currently the interim curator at Wysing Arts Center, a Tutor at the School of Arts and Humanities, and is the acting Lead in Critical Practice, within the Royal College of Art’s Contemporary Art Practice Programme. She has performed live music under Alpha through a number of projects and collaborations.

Hana Noorali

is an independent curator and writer based in London. In 2019 she was selected (together with Lynton Talbot) to realise an exhibition at The David Roberts Foundation as part of their annual curator’s series. She curated Lisson Presents at Lisson Gallery, London from 2017-2018 and from 2017 -2019, produced and presented the podcast series Lisson ON AIR. In 2018 Hana edited a monograph on the work of artist and Benedictine Monk, Dom Sylvester Houédard. Its release coincided with an exhibition of his work at Lisson Gallery, New York that she co-curated with Matt O’Dell. In 2007, she co-founded a non-profit project space and curatorial collective called RUN active until 2011. In 2020 Hana and her curatorial partner Lynton Talbot will be publishing an anthology that examines the intersection of poetry and film with (p) (prototype).

Tai Shani

is an artist living and working in London. She is the joint 2019 Turner Prize winner together with Lawrence Abu Hamdan, Helen Cammock and Oscar Murillo. In 2019 Tai was a Max Mara prize nominee. Her work has been shown at Turner Contemporary, UK (2019); Grazer Kunst Verein, Austria (2019); Fondazione Sandretto Re Rebaudengo, Italy (2019); Glasgow International, UK (2018); Wysing Arts Centre, UK (2017); Serpentine Galleries, London (2016); Tate, London (2016); Yvonne Lambert Gallery, Berlin (2016) and Irish Museum of Modern Art, Dublin (2016).

[finalgirlkateausten]

(Dis)Order in the Court

Bones/Psych crossover- Caroline Julian thought working with Camille Saroyan and her lab of nerdy geniuses would be the hardest time she’d ever have with a set of witnesses. It takes her approximately two hours in Santa Barbara to realize she was wrong.

For @dawnofthevalkyrie​ bc I was like “hey this scene from Psych reminded me of this scene from Bones’ and it... escalated

Words: 1209 this is not a drabble i fucked up

Caroline Julian strolls into the Santa Barbara police department, a visitor badge affixed to the collar of her dress. She knocks on the door to the office reading ‘Chief of Police’, curious to meet the woman she’s been going over case details with via email all weekend.

“Hello,” greets the chief, “you must be Caroline Julian. I’m Karen Vick. Thank you again for agreeing to prosecute for this case.”

Caroline shakes her hand. “Nice to meet you, Chief Vick. So, I assume we’re getting straight to business?”

Karen nods. “Of course. I’ve got the files here for you to look over, and my team who’s testifying are ready to come in when you’re ready for them.”

Caroline nods and flips through the file; nothing’s changed since she saw it electronically. “Alright. I’d like to meet your team.”

Chief Vick sticks her head out the door of her office. “Lassiter!”

Caroline raises an eyebrow as four people rise from the bullpen and head their way. “Which one’s Lassiter?”

“The tall one. O’Hara tends to follow him, to back him up and make sure he’s not in trouble, and Spencer and Guster both have noses for drama. They’d be here even if I’d called in an officer they’d never worked with once.”

Caroline nods. Well, this will be interesting.

------

The night before the trial, Karen is going over last-minute details with Caroline and steadfastly ignoring her investigative team. Caroline, however, is not.

“What on God’s green earth are they doing?”

Karen sighs and finally looks out the window. Lassiter and Spencer are in the middle of a tug-of-war over a case file, with O’Hara in the middle, shoving at both of them. Guster is holding a stapler like a microphone and appears to be narrating.

“I wish I could tell you, Caroline. I wish I knew.”

“Are they seriously your best people?”

Karen gives a tight smile. “As a matter of fact, they are.”

Caroline shakes her head. “I just hope they can testify.”

Karen thinks of how Shawn treats the witness stand like a stand-up comedy stage, how Gus nearly has a nervous breakdown almost every time, how O’Hara is a mess in front of cameras and Lassiter going off on tangents. “...right. They... can do that. Absolutely.”

-----

Caroline steps out for some fresh air during a break in the trial. The Santa Barbara detectives are a nightmare. They’re worse at being in court than the squints. When Lassiter had gotten to the stand, he’d somehow turned the topic to gun rights. Spencer hadn’t taken a word anyone had said seriously. O’hara had been decent until the news cameras had shown up, and Caroline hasn’t gotten a word from her since. Guster was so quiet they couldn’t hear him, and so shaky that he spilled the water glass three times.

Shaking her head, she heads back to the group. Karen Vick is clearly not any happier with their performance than Caroline is.

“Lassiter, I know you consider yourself an expert on firearms, but if you so much as think the word ‘gun when you’re not being directly asked about a significant point of the case, your position as Head Detective will be in serious jeopardy.” She doesn’t even wait for him to stop gaping before she continues. “And Mr. Spencer, I have had it up to here with your wisecracks-”

“Ah, Chief, I’m gonna stop you there.” This gets several raised eyebrows. “For one, that sounds like a butt thing, and for another, none of us are wise.”

Karen drops her head into her hands, pinching the bridge of her nose. “This is exactly why I pulled your father out of retirement. But no, he just had to retire again.”

Caroline decides she’s had about enough of this. “Round two, people! Get your acts together! Come on!”

-----

Around the time Shawn starts accusing the jury of cheating on their romantic partners, Karen gets a text from Henry. I am so glad that’s not my job anymore.

She’s really not in the mood. Screw you.

I can see you struggling not to break something in the background.

Goddamnit. Stop texting me. I can only deal with one Spencer at a time.

With that, she turns her phone off.

-----

Caroline can tell Vick’s team is impressive. Spencer notices things others don’t, Lassiter is one of the best cops she’s ever seen, Guster is intelligent and kind, and O’Hara is made of steel underneath her sweet perfume and shining smiles. Except, they’re not showing it. Their a mess on the stand, barely managing to prove their points. She’s confident they can win the case, yes, but this is the most stressed out she’s been in a long time. They’re ridiculous.

She folds her arms and looks at Shawn. “Cher, the jury is not your peanut gallery! Hang up the jokes!”

“Oh, I’m just getting started.”

Karen finally loses it. “Mr. Spencer, that is enough! Detective O’Hara, for the love of god, stop smiling for the cameras and please, try to point your boyfriend in the right direction!”

Juliet turns bright read. “Oh, he’s- I mean, we’re- I’m-”

Caroline doesn’t care what O’Hara says, she’s a fool if she thinks they miss the quick kiss she gives Spencer during the next break. She doesn’t think the news cameras miss it, either. The prosecutor raises an eyebrow at Karen, who looks very much like she’s considering drowning herself in the decorative fountain. “Of all the times for her to not freak out over the cameras...”

-----

Karen sits in her office, drained from the previous day’s legal proceedings.Her team had been a goddamn mess. They’d made newspaper headlines, complete with a front-and-center shot of O’Hara and Spencer kissing. She can see the cheery psychic showing the photo in question to his girlfriend right now. O’Hara drops her head onto the desk. Karen can only hope the embarrassment will make her think twice next time.

The chief glances at the pile of paperwork on her desk, then shakes her head. Not today. I need time to recover.

-----

Caroline bustles into the Jeffersonian for no real reason other than to speak to the head of the lab. “Dr. Saroyan,” she begins. “Please remind me the next time I complain about you and your people being too smart for their own good that you’re not half as bad as the nightmare in Santa Barbara.”

Arastoo Vaziri, holding two mugs of coffee, chuckles. “I take it you didn’t enjoy your West Coast adventure?”

Caroline shakes her head. “That was damn near the most disastrous trial of my life, and that’s counting the one where Dr. Hodgins destroyed evidence.”

Cam laughs. “Well, I’m glad that gave you perspective. To be honest, I’m a little worried about how bad that would have to be to be worse than us.”

“You don’t know the half of it, cherie.”

[hushjuliet-blog]

✘ - julian

text starters || accepting !

✘ an unsent text 💬 from juliet

juliet: sometimes i wish i could say no to you because i want to take your hurt away but i feel like i’m keeping you from healing. juliet: i just want to help but we need to be more careful.

[aelingalathyinius]

☽ AUedits - julian & emma in harry potter

↳ text by @herwndale

Every year on the first day of going back to Hogwarts at the Gryffindor’ table Emma looked over her shoulder to see Julian at the opposite of the room, at the Slytherins’ table. When the Sorting Hat decided she was a Gryffindor and Julian wasn’t, her heart broke into a million pieces. He comforted her and promised that their House will never be an obstacle for their friendship. At that moment she wasn’t sure but after six years she was certain. She could’ve trusted him with her life because her heart was entirely his. Her heart was like a cage and the key was loving him. Every little part of his being was hers because she saw his flaws and still managed to love and understand him.

His robe was a little torn from last year’s meeting with that horrible creature from the woods. His hair was a nest of wild curls and his eyes were so mesmerizing that Emma had to pinch herself to stop daydreaming. She looked down at her robe. She wanted a new one but forgot to buy one. Her straight, almost white, blonde hair was in a messy bun and she took her glasses to look a little smarter. Not that she wasn’t smart but sometimes she liked to be a show-off. Looking at Julian, she realized just how much of a difference was between them in every possible way.

“Hufflepuff!”

The Sorting Hat yelled at the last student who was sorted. Yellings and cheerings came from their table. The little boy joined his brothers and sisters and the eating began. After dinner, everyone was to go back to their rooms and get some rest before starting the year. Everyone but her. She snuck out right before the final call to meet with Julian.

“Here, Em.” she heard a whisper and entered the bathroom from the 2nd floor.

“Hi there, beautiful.” Jules said and smiled.

Her Julian. Even if they spent every holiday together, it was never enough. They both couldn’t wait until Hogwarts was over so they could work together, as a team of Aurors. Julian hugged her tightly. Emma never understood why the Houses were such a big deal, this matter wasn’t actually a problem for them. She embraced him and smiled in his shoulder when she sensed the smell of the perfume she gave him as a gift for his birthday.

“How is your…” Julian couldn’t finish his sentence as he heard steps coming from the hallway.

They entered a cabin from the bathroom and held their breaths. Being so close with Emma was torture for Julian. He tried to find a way to tell her how he felt for about 3 months but the moment never came. So there, holding her, he whispered: “I love you, Emma.”

She smiled so wide that the Sun was probably jealous. She was SO beautiful, Julian sometimes forgot how to hold his own around her. With her blonde hair, eyes that spoke a lot more than her words would ever and a heart as big as an ocean, even if she was afraid of its nothingness. How could he put into words or in art an image so perfect that it was imperfect? Being a Slytherin sucked sometimes for him because he would’ve very much loved to see this beautiful and stubborn Gryffindor more.

“I love you, too, Julian.”

He kissed her on the forehead. Maybe she didn’t understand or maybe she did but was uncertain of her feelings. Either way, Julian felt safe knowing he was loved in return by a “rival” from Gryffindor. Who was the one that said that Romeo&Juliet were pathetic?

“Let’s go.” he said firmly.

They got out of the cabin. Emma arranged her hair a bit and Julian’s robe. “We should get you a new one,” she said and he laughed. A sound so profoundly moving for her. “And do something about the mess that is your curls.”

“We should. Maybe tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow.” Emma said like a promise.

Tomorrow he would tell her how he felt. A thing that could change their relationship forever but a risk he was willing to take.

➳ for @sharvarisriram 

want one?