#terrified of posting this but whatever we ball

[siberat]

Bigger is Better

Here is the winner of the poll! Some Bli.tzbee stuffing below the undercut! Enjoy and ty for participating! will be posted in parts.

pt 1

Skipping along the trail- as best he could, lugging a wagon with a massive crate behind him, BumbleB.ee eagerly made his way to his destination. It’s B.een a while since their last meet-up- at least their official one. Yes, he saw his growing beauty during battles, but it wasn’t the same. Today had nothing to do with war.

This was all a pleasure. And the yellow and black ‘Bot barely got any sleep last night due to his excitement. And all the cooking.

But as he made the last turn, he saw his guest already waiting for him. Sitting on a large rock with his back to him was Blitz.wing.  He was slouched over with his legs spread out in front of him. Seeing his pal sitting there with those rounded love handles squishing out made him want to squeal joyfully.

Unlike their first encounter with the Decepti.con. B.ee had managed to sneak up unknowingly on the triplechanger, and when the enemy turned, optics piercing through him, the smaller mech froze, expecting the heated insults of Hothead to emerge. That version of this mech was terrifying- snarled teeth and sharp optics just made B.ee’s plating crawl! Oddly enough, all that greeted him was a wide-eyed Icy, who looked more like he got caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar.

Well, that statement wasn’t far from the truth. Littered in front of the shocked ‘Con was a whole bunch of empty boxes of snacks, which yes, some were indeed cybercookies. And crumbs littered Icy’s lips, even trailing down his chassis.

The pair stared at each other—B.ee holding his hands up, nervously taking steps back, and Icy just frozen like a statue, save for his tongue licking the mess off his face. Upon further inspection, B.ee couldn’t help but notice the other’s plating was taunt—slag, bulging out with soft protomesh squishing out around his hips. His thighs and the underside of his upper arms were noticeably plumper.

The moment of silence seemed to last ages until BumbleB.ee’s curiosity got the best of him. He coughed, then quietly asked. “W...what are you doing?”

The ‘Con bit his lower lip and blinked a few times as he surveyed his surroundings as if deep in thought, but the answer given was oddly surprising. “I wanna be big.” As if to further emphasize his answer, Icy held his hands out, hinting at the larger roundness he desired.

And in all honesty, B.ee didn’t disagree with him!

This is how this odd partnership began. So, Blitz.wing wished to pack on some pounds. And B.ee was more than willing to provide a helping hand. It turns out that watching the ‘Co.n devour whatever foods were placed in front of him made the little Auto.bot’s circuits buzz. Who would have thought that the expansion of a belly would make him feel this way? But seeing the soft smile on the other’s face as servos rubbed over that swollen beach-ball-like belly at the end was rewarding.

Not to mention the stolen glances at the other’s growing frame during battles, but his Co.n companion never got as stuffed when he was not with B.ee.

“You must have gotten here early!’ B.ee chirped as he stopped in front of the other, struggling with making sure the cart didn’t run into the back of his heels.

“Perhaps you are late, little bug,” Icy’s optic ridge raised, but the tone was playful. “I’ve B.een here practically starving to death.” His belly let out a well-timed growl.

“Are all you big bad ‘Cons this whiny?” B.ee grinned, enjoying the smug expression given.

“Careful... provoking me could lead to...Ahhh, vhat vas it you said? Terrifying results?” Icy scowled, gritting his denta. “I’m hangry enough as is...”

“Gah!” B.ee waved his hands. “We can eat- we can eat!” The words repeated as the Auto.bot quickly opened the crate and tossed the lid aside. Clearly, having a close and personal meeting with Hothead was not desired. However, over time, B.ee learned tricks of the trade to settle that personality, as well as the other.

“Gots anything spicy in zhere?” Icy goaded as he tried to peek into what was in the box.

“Ahhha.... you’re such a joker. You remember what you did the last time I fed you some spiced curry?” The glare the little mech gave typically would elicit harsh insults when given to a Decepti.con, but Icy just snicked and shrugged his shoulders. “I was washing that scrap out of my seams for a week!”

“True...true...my bad.”  He relaxed as the other unpacked the crate, his hands mindlessly rubbing at his own tummy. “You... almost done zhere?”

“Yeah yeah, stop rushing me.”

“I’ve been famished all night...saving my appetite like you had asked.”

“I am sure you won’t fall over and deactivate in the next five minutes.” B.ee shook his head at the ‘Con’s whining. “But here, have this as a starter.”

“Vhat is this?” Icy snatched the container and popped the lid off before an answer was given.  The container was lined with light pink little spheres filled with fluffy yellow insides, sprinkled with green and purple flecks. One was selected, and an in-depth sniff was given.

“Sour cream and onion deviled cyber-eggs.” B.ee grinned. “Found a new recipe and wanted to give it a shot.”

“So, I be your... vhat do zhey say...” Icy flicked his tongue out to taste the fluffy yellow substance, then smacked his lips. “Guinea pig, ya?”

“Well, if you don’t wanna eat it...” B.ee turned to shoot a sour glare, but saw the little developed egg get tossed inside the mouth. He couldn’t help but smile. It’s not often you see a brutal Decepti.con with half-mooned optics, humming in delight in front of you.

“I never said that, little bug.” Dark digits hastily snagged another treat. “These are delicious!” Another whole egg half was popped in his greedy mouth.

“Yes, well, if you chewed them instead of inhaling, you may enjoy them more.” B.ee laughed as he spread out the blanket, then started laying out containers of food only to have to defend them from prying servos. “Ah ah...come on, mech!” The chiding words were in jest. “You... you know I wanna do it.”

“Do you now?” Icy wagged a brow. B.ee blushed.

“I get to feed, you get to eat.” BumbleB.ee corrected, wagging a finger. “You know the drill.”

Icy only shook his helm and smirked.

“You gonna be a good mech?”

“Perhaps...” B.ee’s lips pressed together, and servos slammed on his hips. The playful banter immediately halted as if the ‘Co.n was quickly called to attention. “Yes. I will behave.”

“I brought something special for you!” B.ee’s expression quickly went to all smiles, as if he had different faces to match his personality. “Wanna see what it is?” Blitz.wing didn’t have a chance to answer before a dark crimson cloth napkin was shaken in the air as if it was a world-winning prize, then joyously placed on the ‘Con’s lap. “You’re favorite!”

“Oh my...” Icy cooly replied, rubbing his fingers on the cloth. “Had Decepti.cons known zhis vas the prize for befriending Auto.bots, I am sure  a cease-fire would be announced.”

“Hey.... you like it, right?” BumbleB.ee brought his digits to his mouth- nibbling his fingertips was a nervous tick.

The ‘Co.n’s expression softened as his lips turned up in a genuine smile. “You remembered.”

“Yupp!” B.ee beamed. “Of course, I remembered your preference for cloth napkins over paper ones! I’m not a dummy!”

“Looks like it’s fine dining tonight.” Icy clapped his hands together and rubbed. “Just look at this feast. Did you prepare this all yourself?”

“Yes...no...” Bitz.wing’s face twisted. “I mean, I cooked it all myself- some from scratch, but some were boxed recipes, I admit. I... ah, hope that’s okay.”

“Of course it is, my little bug,” Icy licked his lips and patted his belly. “It all looks so tasty to me.”

“Vell, let’s dig in, shall we?”

[sarovhs]

The cold gaze of a corporation vs the love of a community.

I made a Minecraft edit of a few of my favorite animations/SMPs/creators. I would appreciate any feed back

[typicalopposite]

🫶 making myself write monday 🫶

another day another scheduled post! :) so technically this was a making myself write sunday... but whatever! shout out to @bidisasterevankinard -- consider this your tag! -- for the prompt! (and so you know who to blame for what I'm about to do!!!

(TW: mpreg cause we live here now)

See you around, Buck.

He has replayed those words over and over and over and over in his head ever since Tommy pulled the door closed behind him. 

Now, there’s loud knocking on the same door, but he’s unable to call out that it’s open. Thankfully, Maddie tries the knob and pushes the door in, hurrying into the loft and over to Buck. “Hey,” she says softly, prying his phone out of the death grip he has on it. She ends the call that is still connected to her phone— where he tearfully had told her what happened before going silent… before going numb— and sits the phone on the table. “Buck…” Maddie tries again, after getting no response the first time. “Can you look at me?” 

He barely can even hear her; her voice is faint thanks to the rushing of blood in his ears and the pounding of his heart. He blinks, and finally the pools of tears release, pouring down his face. “He— he— he…”

“Shhh…” Maddie shushes him, drawing him into her arms. 

“He left.”

“I know.”

“He left Maddie!”

“I know, Buck. I’m so sorry.”

His breaths come in short gasping spurts and Maddie continues to plead with him to calm down before he passes out. 

“He— He— He left… us!” 

~~~

(An hour earlier)

Buck bounces on the balls of his feet nervously as he waits for Tommy to reach his apartment. 

He has spent the entirety of the day stressing over this moment. Running through exactly what he is going to say over and over and over and over. Reciting the life changing speech to himself in the mirror, to himself in the Jeep, then once to Maddie at dispatch so he could get some much desired feedback. “Buck… calm down. This is— it’s a lot, I know.” She reached up and cupped his cheek, smiling at him in that more-motherly-than-sisterly way she does to make him feel better. “But it’s going to be fine, you can do this.” 

This…  The ‘this’ in question is huge— or it’s going to be, anyway. Maybe the biggest thing to ever happen to him in his entire life… and scary, too. Terrifying even. But it won’t only affect him, so now— before they can move forward to this new journey— he has to tell Tommy. 

A quick knock at the door has Buck nearly vibrating out of his body. He walks over and opens the door, instantly met with Tommy’s gorgeous face and his to-die-for smile. “Hey!” he says, stepping forward and catching Buck by the hips to pull him in for a kiss. 

Buck feels the butterflies flutter to life in his stomach; they are never able to settle for long, not with Tommy. He is always saying something to rile them up, or doing something— or texting or calling or just existing in Buck’s memory and keeping them active. Buck is so in love with this man it kind of overwhelms him… and he hasn’t even had the chance to actually tell him that yet! Now there is this— this huge, scary announcement— throwing a hurdle right in the pathway to those three little words. By hurdle, of course, he means a power boost, like in those little racing games he gets his ass kicked by Chris in… Tommy always says they are going at his speed; that speed is about to increase tremendously. 

But it’s okay. 

Tommy is amazing. And kind. And caring and understanding and— well right now he is just rambling about parking spots and their movie date. Buck finally finds his voice and interjects to ask if they can talk. Tommy bounces off his jittering nerves with light humor, dismantling the tension with a playful uh oh as he sits down. “So I have been thinking about what you shared with me the other night…” Buck says.

“My spumoni?” Tommy says back, hands clasped together. 

“No… not your spumoni,” Buck laughs— spumoni actually sounds pretty appetizing, come to think of it… maybe they can get some to celebrate! “Uh… I- I was thinking a- about what you said regarding kids.” Tommy’s brows furrow, so Buck continues. “About how you’ve never really given much thought to the idea, b- but you’re not necessarily opposed to it either.” 

“Yeah, I did say that.” Now Tommy looks worried and that is causing Buck to lose the very minimal grasp on his own bravery. “I do love kids, it’s just— our line of work is a little—”

“Intense?” Buck concludes; Tommy nods. “A- And you're right… but— but see most people in our line of work… they don’t have the amazing support system that we have!” 

“Uh, that… is true,” Tommy says, face very unreadable. 

“So really… the idea of a kid loses some of its intensity thanks to that, right?” 

“Evan… what exactly are you—”

“I’m pregnant…”

He blurts it out, just like that. Now it’s out there and he can’t take it back and his heart feels like it’s being twisted; blood and oxygen are being cut off… He tries to judge Tommy’s reaction by the stark lack of reaction plastered across his face. He blinks, and takes in a deep breath. “W- Wow,” he manages. 

“Yeah… it’s, uh, crazy right?” 

“Mhmm…” 

“B- But we will be fine, you know. Because we have that amazing support system, and we have each other! We— We’re gonna be a family.” Tommy smiles at him— smile is too strong of a word— Tommy honestly looks constipated to him. “Hey…” he says, taking Tommy’s hand. “We— We are going to be fine. I’ll have to go on light duty but—” he gives a soft laugh. “—you know me. There’s no way they’re getting rid of me until I absolutely have to leave. So— so income won’t be a problem.” Tommy still looks pale and like he might pass out, so Buck squeezes his hand. “W- We can… move in together to— to your house… since you have extra rooms.”

“Evan…”

“Maddie is the only one who knows, I just needed someone to calm me down about telling you!”

“Evan…”

“But I’m going in the morning to tell Bobby… I want to be so careful because this—” He can’t help himself; he lets a hand slide across his flat belly. “This is something I have always wanted, and I think we’re gonna be amazing dads.” 

“Evan!” Buck startles at the incline in Tommy’s voice, he hardly ever raises his voice… much less to him. Tommy sighs. “We can’t move in together…” 

“What, wh- why not.” 

“Because, this… it’s not going to work.” Buck feels like his face is on fire; it’s hot and tingling and he can already feel the first drop of a tear to his cheek. “Please don’t— don’t cry.” Tommy looks so remorseful— that doesn’t go with his actions, though. “Look Evan, I think you’re going to be a great dad, but no matter how bad I want to be… I won’t.” 

“Y- You don’t know that.” 

“No, I— I do actually…” he says. “I’d be terrible… and I wouldn’t plan on it, and I wouldn’t mean to… but I’d only make everything worse for them and for you. I just— I should go.” He stands up, letting his hand slip free of Buck’s.

“W- Wait, hold on… wait a minute. Did you just… break up with me?” 

Tommy stops almost at the door and sighs, rubbing a hand over his face and holding it against his neck. “Yeah… I guess I did,” he says with a weak laugh. “Believe me I didn’t see it coming. I guess… I should have known that parking spot was too good to be true…” He stares back at Buck with the most heartbroken expression and Buck wonders who’s heart is breaking more right now; mostly he wonders why Tommy is doing this, and if he really believes the things he said. “I’ll see you around Buck.” Then he’s gone; and the loss of his name is almost as hard as the loss of Tommy. 

He stares at the door in shock until his phone rings. It’s Maddie, calling to see how things went.

and lastly but not leastly because this is my favorite part! Throwing out some tags so I can see what yall are working on!

@30somethingautisticteacher @nine-one-wanton @judymarch15 @sunnywithachanceofbi @herrmannhalsteadproduction

@onthewaytosomewhere @lavenderleahy @unhingedangstaddict @somethingaboutfirefly @silversky9

@piratefalls @exhaustedpirate @hyperfocusthusly @quintessenceofdust88 and anyone else who wants to join in!

[peachesnplums95]

🍑Wukong🍑

Favorite thing about Sun Wukong-

I love this silly little sunshine simian, you don't even know. He's just such a cute little peachy-pie of a monkey. I really love how canon doesn't depict him as this flawless and perfect immortal being, and instead you can see those flaws, and how imperfect he is. You know he's made mistakes, but you can see how he's grown too, he's not the same as he was before the Journey.

Though he might still be a mischievous little monkey who likes to get into simian shenanigans, he's still trying his best to be better than who he was before.

The biggest example of his character growth is the fact Wukong, who is so terrified of death, was willing to face it, all because he couldn't stand the idea of MK having to die when he is still so young and has so much life to still live and he couldn't stand the thought of losing him.

I just love this precious peach-loving monkey so much, he's also adorable to boot. Honestly, I don't know how anyone could hate this lovely little ball of sunshine. Listen, Wukong could ruin my entire life, and I wouldn't be able to hate him, okay?

Least Favorite thing about Wukong-

This monkey represses his emotions so much, like you stupid simian, open up about your feelings and please rely more on the others, Wukong.

They're your family/friends and they're here for you; you can be vulnerable with them. I hope that one day in canon Wukong will realize just how much he is wanted/needed by MK and the others. Because Wukong really acts like no one would care if he would vanish again, seriously.

For all his boasting about being the Great Sage, and the Monkey King, and such- he actually seems to be the one faking it until he makes it the most out of anyone in the show. It's sad to see just how much he represses, and how he probably doesn't actually have the highest opinion of himself, actually, and how heavily all his past mistakes and wrongdoings seemingly weigh on him even centuries later.

I mean if his reaction in a Lifetime of mistakes after seeing his memories replayed over and over again in his head nearly made him give up on trying- yeh.... this monkey needs so much therapy.

I mean look at him and how tired he looked:

GET SOME THERAPY, WUKONG! Also, I wish they would allow Wukong to stop holding back. I wanna see Wukong go WAR MODE. FREE HIM! Let him decimate an enemy that cannot be reasoned with.

Favorite Line(s)-

"Whatever the Goddess... and destiny has planned for you... you came from the same stone I did. Destiny can't have you... it can have me instead."

“Kid! I GOT YOU. I got you… I got you.”

"No! Well, maybe a little bit, but that's not the point! It's so we don't have to worry about anything or anyone ever again! Just live a lazy life, sittin' in the sun, eatin' fruit, and doing whatever we want. Sounds pretty good, huh? Huh? Huh?"

"Relax, bud! When this is over, we’ll be back here, basking in the sun, getting fat on fruit for the rest of... well, forever! Like we always wanted."

BrOTP-

I have many to choose from here, but I really love the idea of Wukong and DBK just reconciling fully. They seemed to have such a good relationship back in the Brotherhood before everything went wrong. Like DBK was having a riot here with Wukong's silly antics.

OTP- Shadowpeach

Yeah, not a big surprise here. If you've seen my previous post about Mac, then you know why.

NoTP-

Do I even need to explain why? I don't even know what their ship name is, it isn't on the shipping wiki that I can tell. My best guess is that it's RottenPeaches (much like how the ship name between Mac and the LBD is called RottenPlums.)

Anyways, this is my NoTP for Wukong. But it's a NoTP that I wouldn't mind making content for due to the fact that LBD seems to be borderline obsessed with Wukong in a way, how he calls him "something else entirely" in comparison to DBK.

There's this really dark possessiveness the LBD seems to have over Wukong and it's just a fun dynamic to explore for me. Even though I personally hate it as a ship, it's a ship that still has a certain dangerous appeal to me in way of LBD's one-sided obsession.

But the biggest NOTP I have is Peachynoodles. Wukong and MK. Listen I see them as father/son, and yeh no. Just no. I am not gonna actively go out of my way to bash on ships I don't like, because I don't like getting into drama when it comes to shipping, but I will make my stance on this be known. I don't like this ship at all.

^^^ The Father Son Duo, ever. (Aside from Pigsy and MK/ Tang and MK. Cause I view them as his dads too. MK really out here collecting dads, lol.)

Random Headcanon-

Wukong actually likes physical touch, being hugged, pet, groomed, cuddled and the like. He's actually really touch-starved and craves physical touch from his family/friends but he doesn't know how to go about asking for that kind of thing. So he kind of just doesn't do so. Like give this monkey some cuddles, damn it.

Unpopular Opinion-

I think the fandom holds his past mistakes over his head far too much. Like stop using my sweet Sun Wukong as a punching bag and putting him down. I think he's suffered long enough for those mistakes, and also Wukong is his own worst enemy when it comes to that thing anyways. No one holds Wukong's past mistakes more against Wukong, than Wukong himself.

Song I associate with Wukong as of right now-

^^^ I have watched this over 100 times, help me I have a problem.

Favorite picture of Wukong, as of right now-

That smile will be the death of me. I wish to protect it always.

[sanspuppet]

Mingi x afab!reader, Yunho’s there too

W/T: breeding, kinda public sex i think ?

Mingi claps your ass cheeks as he fucks you from behind, he has you bending over the desk in Yunho’s bedroom. Even though he perfectly knows that his friend could come in, in anytime after finishing to shower, Mingi needs to release his load as soon as possible inside your tiny pussy. Your breath stops when you realize that there’s no more the sound of the water drops hitting the floor, both fear and arousal gets you at the idea of being caught by him while Mingi’s balls deep in you. “Fuck- faster we need to be quick” you struggle to articulate, mewling lowly with each thrust of his dick. “i’m close i swear- give me some seconds” soon after you finally feel his warm cum spurting inside you, Mingi pulls it the deeper he could ever do before moving your panties back to place. You both look at the door terrified when you hear footsteps getting closer, dressing up again at the speed of life before seeing the door handle lowering. Yunho stands in front of the room, the fact that his hair is still wet and he has only a towel wrapped around his tiny waist, is making him involuntarily look hotter to you. Both Mingi and you hide your hands behind your back, stuttering. Yunho furrows his eyebrows, pointing lazily at you two. “Do you… uhm did you guys fuck?” Mingi lets out and embarrassed laughter, scratching the back of his neck. You pretend to be concerned with a confused look: “What-? Us? Tsk… nah” Even though you’re a blushing mess, Yunho only sighs joyfully. “Whatever, get out i need to put on some clothes”

i think i’m having a writer’s block (it’s torturing me) so maybe the next posts will be short just like this one, until i’ll get inspiration back :(

[mj-iza-writer]

The last thing Whumpee remembered was a bright light coming at them from seemingly nowhere. It felt like a bus when it hit them.

Whumpee squinted their eyes open. They felt drowsy from whatever was thrown at them.

'Whoever's magic that was needs to tone it down', Whumpee thought to themself, 'they must not of had proper training.'

Whumpee already felt that they were tied down with rope and black shrink wrap. A gag had been forced into their mouth, and a tube was connected to it. The tube ran partially down their throat so they could breath and eat. Without it, they would suffocate, but for the inexperienced, the gagging could be worse than suffocating.

Whumpee carefully wiggled, any panicking would make them gag. This wasn't their first time in this situation, they knew this, they were to experienced to make a mistake like panicking.

'Slave trade', Whumpee told themself after receiving a hit to their stomach, 'I'm in the blood market for the vampires.'

'This is terrifying... what if I go to someone else', Whumpee whimpered, 'at least Master makes sure we are properly cared for. Even if it's to cultivate our blood for himself.'

Humans on the purchasing block were wrapped up tightly in black shrink wrap so they couldn't see. A picture was posted of them when they first came in, and their blood was tested by several vampires in the trade so a correct description was posted for interested owners.

Whumpee had a very specific flavor in their blood. Their Master enjoyed it immensely, so Whumpee questioned how they ended up here.

'Master kills the humans he no longer wants. He doesn't resell', Whumpee thought to themself, 'they must have been watching me. Master won't be happy when they find out that I'm missing.'

Whumpee could feel hands caressing their body.

'I always hated this part', Whumpee groaned.

"Whumpee is that you?", someone whispered near Whumpee's head.

Whumpee quickly nodded.... somehow that voice seemed familiar enough. They gagged slightly from the tube.

"I thought so", the voice whispered again, "hold on, I was trying to find Tatum's branding on you, and I couldn't remember where they place it. Don't worry I'll get you out of this situation."

Whumpee felt relieved.

"Their picture of you was questionable, and I know Tatum wouldn't give you up so easily", the voice whispered, "with how much they praise your blood."

'I'd be dead if master wanted me gone', Whumpee sighed to themself.

"Excuse me", Whumpee's rescuer called over an employee, "I would like to put a hold on this one.... a friend of mine has been looking for blood like this slave's, I need to call for them."

"Yes of course", the employee nodded.

Whumpee felt arms cradle them from underneath. They were lifted and carried to a private room.

"If I may remain with them until my friend arrives. So I can make sure nothing happens to them", Whumpee heard the friend talking.

"Of course you can stay in this room... just do not remove the wrapping. In case your friend doesn't want them we won't have to rewrap them. It's harder when they're awake", Whumpee heard the person leave.

"I'm pretty sure your master wants you back. I just texted them, and they are not happy", Whumpee heard the person sigh, "I'm not leaving you like this... that tube has to be uncomfortable."

Whumpee nodded, then gagged again.

"Okay hold still."

Whumpee felt the person start cutting the wrapping away.

They were finally able to see who it was.

"Master Collin", Whumpee whispered after the gag and tube were removed.

"Yes dear", they smiled, "don't make too much noise, I don't want them coming back."

Whumpee remained in a laying down position.

"I don't know what happened", Whumpee whispered hoarsely, "I was outside to get some sunlight at Master's requests..... a bright ball of light hit me. When I woke up I was here. They used a lot of magic, I'm still drowsy."

Master Collin nodded, "these traders have been kidnapping different humans from their masters and reselling them again", they sighed, "I'm sorry I don't have any water for you. I know that tube dries you out."

"It's okay", Whumpee whispered.

"Tatum should be here shortly... I know they've been hunting you down since last night", Master Collin frowned.

Outside of the room rumors amongst the employees spread across the sale floor. A mysterious person was walking up and down every aisle.

Mysterious meant rich for most slave traders.

Master Tatum's frown deepened as he passed every human that was not Whumpee.

"I hate these places so much", Tatum complained, "this is inhumane even for lowly creatures like humans."

Tatum pulled out their phone, "I'm getting irritated. Where is my property?", they texted Collin.

"I had them brought to a private room for protection", Collin replied, "I'll open the door."

Collin opened the door and waved at Tatum.

Tatum rolled their eyes and started toward the room.

"Hello Master, can I interest you in....", a seller approached.

"No, I already know what I'm looking for... out of my way", Tatum gruffed.

"Yes I apologize", they quickly moved out of the way and watched Tatum storm off.

Tatum came into the room and saw Whumpee's state.

"They didn't waste any time preparing you for sale", Tatum frowned, "I am quite irritated seeing you like this."

"Please Master, I-I didn't do anything", Whumpee pleaded.

"I-I'm well aware", Tatum sighed, "I can smell the magic seeping off of you."

"Collin will you help me untie them?", Tatum stepped closer.

"I told you not to do that", the seller from earlier came in yelling.

Tatum turned quickly and snapped their fingers.

The seller flew back into the selling room, and Tatum stormed after them.

"You dare steal my property, then tell me what I can do with them", Tatum yelled.

Collin peaked out the door with a grin.

"What's happening?", Whumpee whispered.

"Tatum has reached their last straw. They'd burn this place down if it wasn't for the humans and innocent bystanders here", Collin chuckled.

Police had been called on Tatum's behavior, but it was quickly reversed on the slave traders.

The doors would be closed permanently on this company. All humans would be checked to ensure they were not stolen. All the others would be given to other sellers who followed more humane practices.

Whumpee was quickly returned to Tatum.

"Thankyou", Tatum looked at Collin, "I appreciate you finding them for me."

"Of course", Collin grinned, "I'm happy to help."

Tatum carried Whumpee home.

"Bed now, we will get that filthy place cleaned off of you after you've rested", Tatum frowned.

Whumpee looked down sadly.

"What?", Tatum tried to settle down. Whumpee wasn't at fault for this incident. They knew Whumpee didn't deserve their anger.

"Co-could I have something to eat.... a-and some comfort", Whumpee tried not to cry, "I tried to stay strong, but", Whumpee felt a tear sneak out, "I-I was scared."

"Yes you can have food.... you know I'm not the most comforting vampire right", Tatum glared.

"I know... b-but I'll take anything", Whumpee shook.

"Fine, let's get this over with", Tatum frowned, "let's get you some food first..... I'm guessing they never fed you then."

"No Master, Whumpee followed shyly, "unless they fed me through the tube while I was unconscious."

"I had thought you ran away when you didn't return when I called. I swore I would hunt you down. You knew the outcome for running from me. I wondered how brave you thought you were. When I came outside I smelt the magic spells used on you, and I realized you were taken", Tatum talked while they prepared a meal, "then I received Collin's message and I hurried to you", Tatum frowned, "I'm sorry", they forced out, "that should of never happened to you. I will take precautionary measures to make sure it doesn't happen again."

Whumpee smiled weakly as Tatum set a plate of food in front of them.

"Will you require a meal from me tonight as well Master?", Whumpee took a fork from Tatum, "thankyou for this food, Master."

"You're welcome... you may eat", Tatum sat at the table.

"As for a few days, I'll feed from the others. This way you have time to recover. Your blood won't taste good to me from the stress you were put through. I'll feed when I feel you're ready."

Whumpee choked.

"Slow down, you are over filling your mouth", Tatum warned.

"I'm sorry my throat is still sore from the tube", Whumpee looked at the plate, "plus this is delicious."

"Good", Tatum sighed, "let's get you cleaned up next.... then I will attempt to comfort you... I guess you deserve something for your trials."

Whumpee was taken into the bathroom, a different blood slave helped them bathe.

"Yeah, Master came into the kitchen and saw us eating, and they asked where you were. None of us knew, so they called for you", they talked with each other, "we were scared when you didn't return, then Master was ticked. Out of all of us you were the least likely to run from Master."

Whumpee nodded, "I would never dare such a thing, they would kill me. You wouldn't be truly free, constantly looking over your surroundings until the inevitable happened and Master came for you. With the bounty on my blood, they'd probably leave me in the dungeon and feed on me when they wanted."

"Probably", the other smiled, "in complete honesty, I don't even think Master is as bad as they could be. So what if they feed off of us, Master does it to survive, they have a right to survive as well. Master never hurts us unless we deserve it. We are well taken care of, and they don't over feed. There are five blood slaves all together."

"Plus they are a good cook", Whumpee laughed, "I know the care they put into us is to ensure our blood is of the best quality for them. I don't know many owners who put that much effort into their humans. Though we are fairly expendable for Master, it's still nice to be taken care of "

"I'm glad you both find me to be a good master", Tatum stood by the door and chuckled as the two jumped.

Whumpee and the other looked down shyly and tried to hide their embarrassment.

"No please continue saying good things about me. I've been listening for the last few minutes", Tatum came into the bathroom, "truly I am happy to know that at least two of you like me, and don't plan on running away. I at least know who I don't have to watch as strictly."

"You protect us Master", Whumpee looked up slowly, "why would we want to run?"

Tatum turned, "hurry and finish, unless you feel this was comforting enough. You are at least smiling now. Do you still require me to care for you?", Tatum frowned.

"You don't have to if you don't want to", Whumpee whispered, "but I would appreci...."

"Good", Tatum quickly left the bathroom and down the hall.

"I guess you aren't getting any hugs from Master tonight."

"I-I guess not", Whumpee sighed.

Whumpee tossed and turned half the night, nightmares and discomfort gnawed at them.

They sat up in bed and looked around.

"My throat hurts so bad, and these covers feel like I'm tied up again", Whumpee looked at their hands, "I wonder where Master is."

Whumpee got up and grabbed their teddy, then quietly left their shared bedroom.

After a few minutes, they found Tatum by the fire reading.

"Why are you awake?", Tatum didn't look up.

"Nightmares and discomfort Master", Whumpee stood in the doorway, "ma-may I have comfort now... please."

Tatum sighed, "it's not my specialty to be comforting that's why I have six..", Tatum caught themself. They had just killed one of the slaves for not obeying and breaking rules, "five of you to comfort each other."

"Please, even if it's your hand on my shoulder, it would help", Whumpee's voice cracked as they tried not to cry. They held their throat, "it still hurts Master."

"I've already asked for the doctor to come by and check on you. Collin reminded me of a few things they would have done to you. They will be by tomorrow", Tatum sighed, "well if you must, you must... come here then."

Whumpee quickly walked to the couch and sat beside Tatum.

Tatum awkwardly rested their hand on Whumpee's shoulder and then went back to reading.

"You are safe now", Tatum forced themself to say, "I assure you that will not happen again."

"Thankyou Master", Whumpee whispered.

"Ymhmm", Tatum hummed.

Whumpee started to grow tired sitting there.

They closed their eyes and absent-mindedly laid down; their head now on Tatum's leg.

"Whumpee I didn't agree to this", Tatum tried to lift Whumpee off, but Whumpee was out.

"Great now what?", Tatum sighed and looked at Whumpee awkwardly, "I'm only allowing this, so you'll sleep... do you hear me?"

They rested their hand on Whumpee's shoulder again and went back to reading.

Tatum's slaves required a full eight hours of sleep every night for their blood quality. Either Tatum had to wake Whumpee and mess with their already destroyed sleep schedule, or deal with Whumpee laying there until morning.

"At least no one else will see this", Tatum whispered.

Tatum saw movement at the doorway a while later.

"Now why are you up?", Tatum complained, "no humans should be awake in my household."

"I'm sorry Master, I saw Whumpee was away from their bed... I was going to check on them", the slave smiled when they saw Whumpee, "I see you got them."

"Yes I do, and if you say anything about this to anyone I will tear out your throat. Am I clear?", Tatum threatened.

"Yes of course Master... we wouldn't want anyone to think you have softened for something lowly like a human", the slave prodded.

"Go back to bed... now", Tatum ordered, "take your sarcasm with you."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off the list. It's not a problem at all.

@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived @sacredwrath @porschethemermaid @monarchthefirst

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[yunsound]

Chinese Mythology: Chang'e and Hou Yi

I’m fairly sure many cultures have myths surrounding the sun and the moon, for several reasons.

Big

Round

Shiny (oooh)

Glows!

Right fucking there

China is no different! We have many myths surrounding the sun and the moon. Most famous, probably, are the two stories of Chang’e and Hou Yi.

Let’s start with Hou Yi. His story is titled Hou Yi Shoots the Suns 后羿射日, and it’s… quite literally what it sounds like.

Back in the ages before dynasties, in the times of ancient people like Great Yu (see this post for who Great Yu is) and Emperor Yao (before the Qin Dynasty started by Qin Shi Huang), there were 10 suns in the sky. These 10 suns were either 10 brother-deities or the 10 grandsons of the Jade Emperor, the head honcho up in heaven. 

Man, the Jade Emperor’s family really likes to cause trouble, hmm? Just look at the Weaver Girl and Erlang Shen. No wonder the Heaven Haters boyband hates him.

The 10 suns scorched the earth, causing crops to die and the people to ask for help. Obviously having ten fucking suns shining down at you isn’t exactly great for civilisation (even the world’s best SPF can’t help you there), so Emperor Yao asks a great archer named Hou Yi to do something about it.

Hou Yi goes outside (presumably with a pair of very nice sunglasses and some top-notch sunscreen) to yell at the suns. First, he tries the diplomatic route. Basically:

Hou Yi: What the fuck are you doing? Stop scorching everyone and go home!

10 Suns: Go fuck yourself!

Hou Yi: …

Hou Yi is like, okay, well if diplomacy won’t do, I’ll just be efficient. He gets his big bow and arrow and aims up in the sky and starts to shoot every single sun out of the sky. Remember- they’re living deities, not just great balls of fire, so they can be killed. Still don’t know how a guy (even a guy as amazing as Hou Yi) manages to shoot the fucking suns out of the sky, but it’s mythology- don’t think too much about it.

Eventually he gets to the ninth sun and everyone is like “WOAH! You can stop there! We need at least one of them!”. Hou Yi is like, “do I haveeee to” and the Jade Emperor/Emperor Yao are like “YES YOU HAVE TO!”

So he leaves one of them alive, reluctantly. The last remaining sun is thoroughly terrified and resolves to stay hanging up there in the sky like a good little lamp and not make Hou Yi angry enough to shoot him down too.

That’s why the sun is in the sky. Hou Yi scares him. Everybody say thank you Hou Yi.

Hou Yi’s wife, Chang’e, is the central character in the myth behind the moon. Her myth is titled 嫦娥奔月, or Chang’e Rises to the Moon. 

After Hou Yi shoots down all the suns, he’s regarded as a great hero by the people. He is rewarded with a pill of immortality or an elixir of immortality. He’s a good husband, so he decides he’s not going to drink it and leave his wife Chang’e behind, so he leaves it at home for safekeeping while he does more good deeds to hopefully get another elixir for Chang’e. Hou Yi takes in some disciples, who hope to learn his great archery skills.

One day, Hou Yi goes out hunting. One of his disciples, Feng Meng, is a big dickhead, and he resolves to steal the elixir for himself while the defenseless Chang’e is home alone without Hou Yi to protect her. He sneaks into the house and attempts to steal it. Just as he’s about to get it, Chang’e swallows it herself to protect the elixir from Feng Meng. Now immortal, she ascends up to the moon. 

Chang’e is really lonely up on the moon- her only companion is the jade rabbit, or the moon rabbit. You know how Westerners see a man on the moon? Well, ancient Chinese people saw a rabbit instead- that’s the moon rabbit, now the pet of Chang'e. After Hou Yi comes back and realises what happened, he mourns Chang’e, because even though she’s immortal, the two of them can no longer be together.

He might also have killed himself, IDK exactly.

See the rabbit? I personally think it's a better theory than the man on the moon, but whatever.

In some other versions of the tale, Hou Yi is crowned king after he shoots down the suns. He becomes a brutal tyrant, and in order to prevent his total oppression of the people, Chang’e steals the elixir from him so he won’t live forever. I like to believe in the first version.

China’s space probes on the moon are called Chang’e in her honour.

This is Chang'e 5, the latest version.

The little robots that the space probes deploy are called Jade Rabbit as a nod to the myth.

This is Yutu (Jade Rabbit) moon rover!

Many of the creations of the Chinese space agency are named after myths, including the Magpie Bridge relay satellite (which you might recognise from the story of the Cowherd and the Weaver Girl!)

Also Chang’e is the inspiration behind Sailor Moon. That’s why she’s called Usagi (Rabbit).

The Mid-Autumn Moon Festival 中秋节 is one of China’s most important holidays, to celebrate the full moon and the time of the harvest. The festival honours Chang’e as we eat tangyuan (big white round sweet boiled glutinous rice balls, which look like the moon) and moon cakes (decorative round sweet cakes filled with a variety of fillings). It is said that the jade rabbit on the moon produces moon cakes to honor Chang’e. The Mid-Autumn Moon Festival is what inspired Tsukimi (Japan) and Chuseok (Korea). 

[btr-rewatch]

In revisiting BTR, I'm focused so much more on characterization than I did when I originally watched the show. (Which makes sense, of course. The only thing my younger self really cared about was "hehehe cute boys")

And though I do love the way many of the characters are crafted and how they mesh with each other, there's that part of me that has latched so firmly onto the missed potential. And I get it. It's aimed at a younger audience, and they're supposed to be wacky, real-life cartoon characters. But there was so much there to work with!

I wish we'd had some deep childhood lore. I wish we'd been able to really get to know the boys' parents and the dynamics outside of the Knight family.

I WISH. WE'D BEEN ABLE TO KEEP. AUDITION KENDALL.

That's probably where the ball was dropped the most, and I would love to know who had a hand in shifting Kendall's character so quickly (his edge is shaved away so fast in the first couple of episodes) and why it was done. Imagine a version of the show with a Kendall who kept that "fire" he displayed at the audition. A Kendall who is still very much the leader who loves and protects his friends and does the right thing but also has his temper on a hair-trigger. A guy who's respected around the Palm Woods partly due to the fact people are just a little bit afraid of him.

Gustavo literally compares Kendall to himself in BTAudition. "You also have anger management issues. Some people say I have anger management issues." !!!!!! Why did the writers not take that and run with it?? Imagine the depth to the Kendall and Gustavo relationship that could have been added if Kendall really did have that same explosive sort of personality. He and Gustavo are constantly getting into screaming matches, then Kendall storms off all angry because he CANNOT STAND Gustavo, except surprise! They're butting heads precisely because they're too much alike, and it makes Kendall uncomfortable to acknowledge it. Maybe we even get to see gradual growth over the course of the series as Kendall works through whatever it is he's got going on emotionally (cough, daddy issues, cough) and then he steadily gets toned down.

I'm telling you, "Big Time Bad Boy" is the last time we ever see that edge to Kendall. He becomes noticeably less conniving and sneaky and defiant after that. My in-universe theory that he exhausted himself with the act and lost all bad-boy potential from that point on still stands. I personally think it would have been fun if it WASN'T all just an act, and Kendall was just the type to occasionally smash Gustavo's records for funsies. He and Gustavo get into a heated argument, then Kendall stalks off and disappears for a while and Gustavo is terrified of where he is and what he's doing.

I don't have too many complaints about the other guys; I feel it was mostly Kendall that they fumbled in terms of characterization. I will say that it feels like, overall, Kendall and James were toned down from their Audition counterparts, and Carlos and Logan were ramped up.

James stays the self-absorbed, pretty boy, but he doesn't feel the same as Audition James. That boy standing there in the opening scene primping while his friends plot shenanigans isn't quite the same James from later in the series. In fact, opening scene James doesn't even seem like the type of guy who would dare play A Sport at all, let alone be super into hockey.

Anyway, I'm losing track of what I originally wanted to make this post for lol. Very interested to venture into season 2 and see the progression of the characters.

[honourablejester]

More Starfinder Cool Creatures

I recently acquired Alien Archives 3 & 4, so I had a browse through to see what other weird and wonderful space fantasy creatures the Starfinder universe might have to offer.

I’m going to divide these into three broad categories, because there’s a couple of themes to my preferences. Heh. First, we have space undead. Because I just deeply enjoy space undead. Then we’ve got a loose cluster of what I’m going to call space hazards/space ecologies, creatures that inhabit the void of space and make life interesting for spacers. And finally we just have a grab-bag of more random planetary and weird beasties.

Space Undead

I deeply, deeply enjoy Starfinder’s sheer range of space undead. Because the elemental terrors of the void leading to uniquely fucked up deaths and resulting unquiet souls is deeply satisfying to my space horror loving soul.

Endling. Endlings are basically the ghosts of extinct species trying to wreak vengeance on whatever they believe brought about their end, ghostly vengeance on a species level. There’s a planet in the Veskarium that was aggressively mined out, obliterating the native ecology, and the capital city is now menaced by what are essentially spectral ghost pigs. Which is amazing.

Itmi Vruh. Okay. So we know I deeply enjoy space undead. And we know I deeply enjoy the scary end of FTL and hyperspace travel. The Itmi Vruh are the perfect fusion of those two space horrors. When a ship tries to perform a jump into the Drift and something goes wrong, rather than throwing the whole ship out or crashing, sometimes the ship makes it through, but the souls of several people onboard don’t, and are sucked out to blunder around the Drift, leaving their bodies inexplicably dead behind them. Itmi Vruh want those bodies back, and if they happen upon other ships in the Drift, they will attempt to possess people on them. So there’s two fantastic spacer horror tales to be afraid of: that the Drift will suck out your soul if you jump wrong, and that the fucking resultant space ghosts from hyperspace will possess you even if you make it safely in. Absolutely fantastic. Love it.

Vorthuul. Vorthuul are undead left behind by people who got sucked into a black hole, and they’re formed of two elements: a super dense obsidian skeleton overlaid by a screaming spectral form. Kasathan mystics think that these are in fact two separate quantum spirits formed when the forces of the event horizon fucking bent time and space so that two versions of the same person got overlaid together, one being horrifically stretched and screaming in agony, the other being crushed by gravity into infinite density. So you get two torturous deaths for the price of one! Any ship, station or observation post that passes too close to a black hole, even if it avoids being sucked in, might get invaded by one or more of these tormented things, like hideous avatars of the inimical force waiting to devour us all. They are so cool. Horrifying, obviously. But so cool.

Space Ecology/Hazards

There is something about imagining creatures that live in the void that is just … extremely happy-making to me. These are all creatures that kind of create an ecology in the emptiness of space. And/or creatures that create hazards in space, things that make the already-terrifying void and vacuum even more dangerous in interesting ways. These aren’t planetary sorts of dangers, they’re things you encounter in starships. Or inside stars. Or on space stations. And I love them.

Dawn Beetle. They’re giant iridescent solar dung beetles who dig around for debris inside the middle layers of stars to make giant heat-resistant junk balls that eventually are drawn back down to the core of the star to be used as a hatchery for future dawn beetles. If there is no debris (eg asteroids, shipwrecks, etc) inside the star, they sometimes try to ride solar flares out into the universe beyond, usually winding up stranded. They’re just delightfully weird, beautiful, funky little guys. They also hang around the Burning Archipelago of bubble cities in the surface of the Pact Worlds’ sun, which is one of my favourite locations in the setting.

Giant Space Tardigrade. It is a tardigrade. The size of a starship. It’s a titanic lumbering space bear-bug that is trying very hard to eat your starship, because there’s not a lot of food in the void of space and it’s very hungry. They’re extraordinarily tough, and they have personalities, varying from vengeful to playful, if usually still rather destructive even when trying to be friendly. They’re a fantastic combination of adorable and deeply aggravating, and just a fantastic thing to exist.

Kaion. I love the Diaspora as a location so much. The asteroid belt is home to so many of my favourite things in this setting. Here, they’re starship eating metallic space molluscs with bioelectricity and biomagnetism and weapons that function as basically railgun harpoons where they use their magnetic fields to launch hardened bodyparts at prey and draw them back via the same biomagnetism. I love when space ecology gets weird.

Lurker in Light. Evil space fey that are invisible in light and hunt in places like high tech cities and space stations and starships that are basically perpetually lit up. They’re sadistic little fuckers who like to hunt and hurt people, and to find them to make them stop often involves having to power down whole damned sections of the city/station/ship to force them into the open. Which. On a ship or a station. You have to turn off power in the void of space because an evil space fairy is hiding in the glare of the lights to hurt you. That is an excellent horror story right there. As they get older they become radioactive, which is just excessive, honestly. These are evil little things, and they’re excellent.

Shipkiller Bulb. They’re giant space plants that inhabit the ice rings of gas giants harvesting asteroids and ice for minerals and water while absorbing sunlight from the nearest star. Which is all fine, and another fantastic example of weird space ecology, but they’re called also shipkiller bulbs for a reason. And that reason is that they violently hate Drift travel, and if already starving when annoyed, they will violently attempt to tear an offending starship near them to pieces with tendrils and gravity attacks. If they successfully kill the ship, they’ll feed off the hull the same way they’d feed off an asteroid. They’re easy enough to take down with shipboard weaponry if you know they’re there in time, but if you didn’t see them before they absolutely lost their shit on top of you, you might be in for a bad time. I just. I deeply enjoy all these space hazards?

Voraija. Space whales! Different space whales to the previously-mentioned telepathic Omas. Voraija communicate via microwave radiation ‘songs’ that reverberate through starship hulls, can live up to a millennium, and follow long, meandering migratory paths looking for gas giants to birth their young inside. They can wreak absolute havoc on planetary communications systems and have been driven off as a result, and have also been hunted for use in biotech, resulting in some of the older individuals and pods holding powerful grudges. They’re just. I mean. They’re space whales. What more could a girl want?

Random Beasties

And then a final collection of just everything else that caught my eye.

Irokiroi. They’re just beautiful. Predatory sky-serpents with multiple gorgeous wing-fins from the toxic gas-moon of Osoro near Liavara, they’re absolutely deadly and absolutely gorgeous. They’ve recently been attacking a lot of settlements on the moon, possibly related to increasing ‘safari’ trips into the gas clouds stirring them up. Which is an excellent lesson on ecological non-interference, but they’re also so beautiful, so I can kinda understand. I would probably do something ill-advised and likely fatal to be able to see one too.

Kothama. These are less creatures and more people, so arguably shouldn’t be on this list, but they’re seriously enchanting, so I made an exception. They’re 18ft tall multi-legged shaggy ice bear-trolls that are completely peaceful and obsessed with star-gazing, and I love them dearly. They live on two icy outer worlds in the Vesk system that share a moon. Twice a year the orbits of the two planets pass close enough to hand off the moon, and the Kothama go on sacred pilgrimages via magical gates to the moon and the other planet when this occurs. They’re just … so mystical and cool?

Polyphonic Gel. It’s an ooze. It’s a sparkly, smoked-glass looking tiny ooze made up of millions of semi-fluid fibres that eat sound and sing. They can also use said sonic emissions to do horrific damage to people and things, but that’s incidental. They’re so pretty. They can get really big if fed a consistent diet of sound, like the thrum of industrial fans for example, but then get cravings for specific sounds and can thoroughly rampage through a place in search of them. Devotees of the goddess of music Shelyn believe that they’re sacred and can be a little overzealous in trying to help them out at times. Which I fully understand!

Rendalairn. They (or possibly it, singular) are massive (30ft diameter) metallic superweapons that rove around killing planets. They just hurtle around, land on a world, and tear it the hell up until they’ve wiped out everything intelligent down there. There are two known worlds where this has happened. On one of them, the rendalairn sent a polite telepathic message to everything in orbit to stay away from the ‘demolition site’ and then started telepathically playing music from the culture it was destroying as it razed the planet. On the other, there was no music, but it did still broadcast the warning. No one knows who built them, or sent them, or how they choose worlds to target, so it’s all a little terrifying, but it’s another fantastic bit of spacer lore to throw into your setting.

Sapient Purple Orb. Exactly what it sounds like. They’re sentient, friendly little psychic purple orbs that bob around trying to make first contact with new friends. They’re telepathic but also show visions on their surfaces to people. If they like their new friends, they get very protective of them. They also tend to appear in waves, and in noticeably smaller numbers each time, so there’s something mysterious going on there. They’re just a fascinating little phenomenon, and also adorable.

Vasporan. I blame the art for this one, because they’re just adorable. They’re 11ft fucking tall, granted, but they’re adorable blue giant squid-shrews that can rapidly molt or partially molt their shells into either disposable shields or gas pocket balloons for flight. They’re ambush predators, and dangerous, and, again, 11ft tall, but they’re really, really, really cute.

Warpstitcher. These things remind me so strongly of both the Weavers and the Slake Moths from Perdido Street Station. In different ways, obviously, but still. Serious Bas-Lag vibes with this one. They’re interdimensional spider-like aberrations that target powerful magic-or-tech users and stitch their victims onto their bodies to feed on their minds (which normally is irreparably damaging even for the few who survive, but can, very rarely, open the surviving mind up to revelation and euphoria). They hunt the people they do because they believe that magic and tech (especially the Drift) is doing irreparable damage to the fabric of the multiverse. They believe that before the Gap they were responsible for stitching the multiverse into a single whole, but something that happened in the Gap ripped them away from their true abilities and calling, and now they need to punish those they believe might have been responsible. They’re … The Bas-Lag vibes are very strong, yes?

I love the Starfinder setting so much. Science fantasy and space horror are such fantastic genres for me. I enjoy them deeply.

[kiiwiigii]

Shenanigans (Rubber Ducky ii)

Pt. One

Alec x Fem!Reader - Plantonic Demetri x Fem!Reader x Felix

Summary: A follow up to Rubber Ducky. Demteri and Felix corner you to ask about Count Duckula. They have another thing coming.

Warnings:

Pure fluff

Word Count: 599

A/N: I couldn't not write it.

"So." 

I groaned, shoulders dropping in an immediate response to Demetri's teasing tone. I just knew that whatever he was going to say, I was going to be embarrassed. I avoided eye contact and sped up instead. 

"You know speeding up won't help you, right?" 

It was Felix this time. 

I rolled my eyes up toward the ceiling in a desperate plea for help from the heavens. If Felix was here that meant I was probably going to die from embarrassment. All I needed to do was make it to Alec's room and I was safe. Neither had the balls to enter there. 

Demetri moved in front of me, walking backwards with a stupid ass grin on his face. I glared in return, choosing to keep on ignoring him. 

"So." Demetri continued. "What is this rubber ducky we've all heard so much about?" 

I snapped my eyes up towards him, gawking. Alec certainly wouldn't have told him. And I definitely didn't. He grinned as I suddenly blushed in realization. 

"Can you guys not keep your hearing to yourselves??" I snapped at both of them. 

Felix chuckled from the other side of me. "That is a dumb question, Y/N." 

"You would think that you'd be used to it by now." Demetri said flippantly, falling back into step next to me. "Vampires hear everything." 

"I suddenly feel bad for Alec." I grumbled.  

"Oh?" 

"Yeah. That means he has to hear you and Heidi going at it." 

"Everyone has to hear that unfortunately." Felix stated, hands behind his back. 

"You see? That. That right there is why I'm suddenly questioning if I even want to become a vampire. That, and I would miss food. A lot." 

"Not that you have much of a choice, but that is what has you reconsidering??" Felix asked incredulously. "Hearing and human food?? Not the whole drinking human blood thing?" 

I snorted, waving his question off with the flick of my hand. 

"No. That's simply what I call the circle of life." 

Demetri snickered. 

"I swear to god, if you start singing the Lion King, I will end you." 

"What is the Lion King?" Felix asked. 

I stopped and stared up at him. "You- You've never seen the Lion King? Have you ever seen any of the Disney movies??" 

"I have seen Snow White!" He said defensively. 

I grinned a little wickedly, causing both to exchange slightly terrified looks and back away. Too bad, I had them in my claws now. 

"Disney movie marathon. Tonight. We'll start with Snow White. Bring me snacks." I ordered, sauntered forward and ignoring any and all protests. "Do it or I'll sic Alec on you." 

That shut them up. 

I continued down the hall as they whispered to each other furiously, although I could still hear them. 

"How did we get from the rubber duck to being roped into a fucking Disney marathon??" Demetri hissed. 

"You. You had to go and be nosey." Felix groaned. 

"You wanted to know just as badly as I did!" 

"Alec. It's Alec's fault. And the damn bastard is not even here!" 

"I can hear you!" I sing-songed. 

I slipped my hand into my messenger bag, grinning at the bickering behind me, and let my fingers brush against the little rubber ducky Alec had surprised me with. Count Duckula was supposed to be on my nightstand, but I found him good company when Alec was away on missions. 

In the end, the embarrassment crisis was averted, and I was sure Demetri and Felix would think twice about trying to corner me again.  

At least I hoped. 

{Masterlist} // {Request Guidelines}

Taglist: @rosedpetal @alecvolturi @lack-lust-3rr

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[necrotic-nephilim]

Sorry if this might be a rude question but why don’t you just make a seperate account for your nsfw fics?

not rude, it's a valid question! tbh it's a combination of a couple reasons.

i started posting anonymous dead dove batcest fics long before i had the balls to make a tumblr. at first i was content to just leave them unassociated with each other because i didn't really care about them being tied to me. i made this blog to actually show solidarity to my partner who wanted to make a sideblog for Sandman comic stuff so we could cheerlead each other and be brave together, since i've wanted to make a batcest sideblog but i've been nervous about actually having to get it going. (mal ik you're reading this go be brave and actually make your blog so i can cheerlead you damnit-) only did it dawn on me then that i should probably mention the fics i've written on the blog after like, three of them were posted anonymously. and it would've annoyed me to have half of them anonymous and half of them not, because notifications for them would've gone in different places. i could go back and take my fics off anon if i wanted to, but i can't switch the account they're on without taking them down entirely and that'd fuck over people who have them bookmarked already.

which, ties into my second reason, if i made an entire second ao3 account it'd be harder for me to see notifications, reply to stuff, and post things for both accounts because i'd have to constantly switch. and honestly i'd be terrified of accidentally posting on the wrong one on a brain fog day. posting fics is always the most tedious part of writing them for me lol. it's easier for me to stay logged into one account and have all of my stuff in one place for me and just use the anonymous collection when i feel like it. if ao3 pseuds worked like tumblr blogs, where you can't see all my side blogs but i can, i would've used pseuds, but since you can see all pseuds on an ao3, i felt it was a moot point.

and the last reason is i just feel more comfortable being anonymous on ao3 because of the rise in anti culture. on tumblr it's very easy for me to just filter that out and find the people i want to follow and block the people i don't. i don't mind getting hate, on tumblr or on ao3. but i think, for whatever reason you want to blame it on, there's been a massive boom of antis on ao3 who are very entitled about how they read on ao3. i tag extensively, but i just feel safer from getting targeted attacks if everything i write on ao3 isn't attached to one profile. if people like a fic i wrote, want to find more i always link my tumblr in the notes, but if an anti wants to get huffy with me, they can't easily track down my other things. they definitely could if they wanted to, but being anonymous on ao3 just makes me feel more secluded, in a weird way. it's like saying "if you want you can come find me but on here i'm just a weird faceless guy throwing stuff in the void". i've used ao3's anon feature a lot, actually, i used to be a hydra trash party dumpster kid back when that was in it's prime.

i also used to be vaguely popular on a different tumblr blog and my main ao3 and while i think it'd definitely be cool if i got a decent chunk of followers on this blog too, i don't really miss having fanfiction do so well i got targetted hate on all of my fics from the same people, i had my fics stolen, etc. it was really exhausting for me. i have 120+ works on ao3, not counting what's anonymous, and that level of exposure tires me, even when i use my main ao3 to post things that aren't trashy. it's just a weird feeling knowing so many people are subscribed to you on ao3 and what if you post something they won't like because you jumped fandoms again, or you're posting something niche, or you don't think it fills enough fandom tropes to be well-liked. i used to obsessively think like that, and it made me not write the things i wanted to because i cared about numbers. and i don't want to slide back into that hole. writing on anonymous is mostly to remind myself i wrote this for me, and if other people like it, they can come find me, but i don't have to perform like that anymore. if i get a really weird fucked up idea, i can write the really weird fucked up idea. at the end of the day, just makes me more comfortable! but i get it's a super confusing set up from an outsider perspective so, i really don't mind the question, thank you for asking!!

[chaotic-minds-think-alike]

WAAAIT CAN YOU TELL US MORE ABOUT THE FANTRIBES they actually look SO sick and creative

Ok so this’ll be a big ramble since I’m on mobile and don’t have my pictures on me:

So this fantribe project has its own continent called Rupharis (because it sounded cool) and is actually I think the 3rd redesign of this project? By now the whole thing is like 4 or 5 years old. Rupharis is an arid themed continent but after the release of WoF’s 3rd arc I decided what if it’s another continent before the breath of evil took it over? (Fyi, I haven’t read past the poison jungle so I’m not rlly sure how this arc ends but whatever we ball)

So on the coasts and fringes of this continent is covered by thick jungles that the tribes are terrified of settling near (which is mostly urban legend among them as to why). Rupharis doesn’t have any animus magic or ties to the world beyond the continent so even if in a theoretical they exist in a modern time, they’d have no way of knowing the outside world existed unless a dragon were to come from the outside.

Ok so now about where the tribes live on this continent; Steelewings live in this huge canyon stretch near the continent’s major volcano and live off of mud beaches and in mud homes where the water is warm and they have direct access to lava as a resource. Lancewings live in a portion of the plains expanse where the trees grow exceptionally huge and live inside of the trees and around them I think. Lochwings live in a marshlands/everglades kind of place near the south and underwater in this huge expansive cave network formed naturally. Draftwings (which to the person who asked if they were arboreal, in the past they were!) live in this huge canyon stretch where colossal trees once stood, living in the walls of the canyon and in these now dead trees. Lastly, the Stampwings are nomadic largely due to a conflict resulting in the tribe separating into different clans. They still do technically have territories that a portion of the clans settle in but most form caravans large in scale and travel just to explore, forming temporary camps.

Ok so now something I think I should say is obviously this mysterious arid continent is strange and peculiar because wdym colossal trees?? Well.. this is kinda-ish where the breath of evil comes into play. I never explicitly stated how it got there or if it’s always been there but the continent has remains of gigantic tree stumps and roots that of course dragons happily make into homes. Also said above, lancewing territory has baobabs which are already big but can you imagine these trees large enough to house a few dragons? Yeah. It’s a weird situation but past me really went ham so you know.

I said it before but I don’t think I’ll bring back this project entirely but there’s a reason I did post about it to you guys,,, I got reminded about it and wouldn’t mind redesigning the tribes a little,,

[toggle1-mrfipp]

CSM 167: Yo, What the Fuck?

So, that chapter, huh?

To just get it out of the way, Yoru gave Denji a handjob and he came on her hand, and despite how crude that sounds I find this whole chapter fascinating. Normally I like to think these kinds of posts out but right now my mind is racing trying to organize everything, so I'm going write whatever pops into my mind.

So first thing, there's the issue of consent, and I'll start with Asa, because she didn't show up until the very end, but we have to remember that Asa has shown the ability to push Yoru out of the driver's seat in moments where she is particularly having strong emotions, and someone using your hand to jack someone off would get some kind of strong emotion out of her. Yoru seems to act as Asa's unfiltered, unrestrained thoughts and desires, the version of Asa that acts without the worry of what other people think or say about her, so that means if Yoru was allowed to do this, then that means on some subconscious level that Asa was okay with this happening. I'm certain she'll scream and yell about it later, but that won't change the fact she let this happen. Then there's Denji, who at this point I think we'll just have to accept that even if all parties involved give consent I doubt he'll ever have a really "normal" sexual experience, and the fact that Yoru seemed to be getting into this along with him, instead of her just using it to manipulate him like literally every other girl he's been with unironically maybe puts it at the top of the list for him.

Which brings me to Yoru! back when the had the apartment date, she kissed Denji and when she pulled away she was blushing, she felt something for him at that moment, and as we saw here the returning memory of that date had her act on that feeling again. We know that Asa's emotions leak into Yoru, and considering Asa's own feelings on Denji that means that to some extent Yoru feels them too, but unlike Asa, Yoru has no inhibitions to stop her from acting on her desires.

EDIT: I decided to add another bit on Yoru

The thing I'm most interested in seeing is how this will affect Yoru's relationship with her own powers. Her weapons are powered up by the guilt associated in making them, but between having no real moral compass and not ever becoming emotionally attached to anything she's never had any sense of guilt, meaning she can't make the most of her own powers. What will happen if she tries to make weapon out of Denji? She's feeling attracted to him, she knows she likes him, meaning she'll get a strong weapon out of him, but what if she goes for it and she can't do it because guilt is such a foreign concept for her despite how important it is to her skill set and having to actually confront her own guilt terrifies her?

Overall, this chapter left me with two major thoughts on what I think/want to happen.

The first being is that this is what causes Denji to snap, that he'll have some post-nut clarity and call Asa out on how she's been acting, because from his point of view she's been an unstable, schizophrenic psychopath this whole day. Denji asks her about her arm, she kicks him in the balls, she says she wants to help him, but she threatens to fight him, she tries to castrate him, and she gives him a hand job and makes out with him! What is he supposed to reasonably think about her in this situation when she's just been nothing but an inconsistent mess? I want them to start getting mad and start yelling, with Asa arguing with both him and Yoru which only makes her look more insane to him. I really feel like if they get angry, then Denji can actually start beginning to take some control of his life back instead of letting everyone push him around, and Asa will be forced to confront her flaws and mistakes, that she can only be in denial for so long while Denji is screaming in her face about it. It would be ugly and messy, but I think it might actually be good for them in the end.

Also, I'm not entirely joking when I say if those two(three?) end up having intense hate sex in that alleyway in the rain, then I think it would be insane in the best kind of ways.

And second, I think it would be unhinged is Asaden was a red herring, and Yoruden was the real end game pairing. It might legit be the start to Asa's villain origin story. She goes out and does all these things just so Denji can feel strong affections for her, to give her something to latch her self-worth and the attempts to validate her life, oly for Denji to fall in love with Yoru instead. It would be both hilarious and tragic.

Another thing! Up until this point I thought Denji and Asa's relationship would be a tragedy or What Ifs and Could Have Beens, but instead I want them to be unhinged as possible, spiraling down while they blaze the candle at both ends. Just let their relationship become everyone's problem from now on.

Overall, the last few months have left me nervous and apprehensive about what each new chapter of Chainsaw Man will bring, but as of this chapter I find myself more excited than ever because I feel like this might end up taking the story is some insane places.

ONE MORE EDIT: I wrote a one-shot regarding my interpretation of this mess: Back Alley Screaming Match.

[captainjacklyn]

Hey, yo, you probably saw me on one of your posts. I was wondering if you could do the arcana twilight characters reacting to reader training Precious to destroy sisuris's balls l, I'm so sorry for this post, but I had to. You could skip if you want to. Also, sorry for misspelling sisuris name.

HAHAHAHAGHDJWEH- no worries my friend, there is absolutely no harm done on your part, I'm glad you enjoy that crack shit post and I hope you enjoy reading this one as much as I enjoyed writing it.

character(s) : spica, alpheratz, arcturus, pollux, vega

warning(s) : someone's balls being obliterated, a feral ferret and a vengeful summoner that just wants to see blood.

Spica

Speechless and just straight up lost, man is just looking at us for a good minute before continuing to walk down the aisle like nothing happened.

for reference his face looked like this :

He says nothing, he's just confused and tells himself that he needs coffee thinking he's hallucinating due to all the work he has to do.

don't even bother explaining, Spica will pass out and Precious is going to take that opportunity to destroy.

"Wrong target Precious I'm not letting you hurt rapunzel."

"AHDJEREJHR !"

Alpheratz

Hype man right here, he's literally helping you coach that killing machine to end Sirius.

Precious actually stops trying to rip his wig off and is now accepting him as a friend, sort of.

I love this trio ! A batshit crazy animal, their batshit insane owner and the owner's boyfriend who hates the same person they hate.

Once precious is released into the city to found that sexy gun man, it's over for him.

It crawls it's way through the streets, hissing at anything in it's way until it finds the legs of the enemy..and CRUNCH GOES THE BALLS OF THE ASSHOLE-

*screams in agony*

Arcturus

[Name] I don't think you have to- "HAJSKFBEFUEKR-"

Precious held on to his leg for a week, it didn't wanna let go for even a minute. Had to constantly keep this ginger man in a hospital because the moment he got out he would bleed extensively.

Once it got off of him, you just continued to train your unhinged creature.

Precious is really going balls out for the game I'll tell ya that, we're not just speaking about the nutcracker here we're talking about the sacrifice of future generations as well.

This poor dude is just standing on the sidelines like : you don't have to do this but I still support you because that's really all I can do...

Pollux

Oh he means business.

We got another coach right here- bro is going to ANNIHILATE sirius and whatever is left.

Although he keeps wincing whenever it actually happens, I mean they're both guys he knows just how painful it can get.

It's really terrifying to be honest just witnessing something that violent.

I mean who would expect this :

to act like THIS :

That's pollux trying to hold it, Precious is completely calm and rational with it's beloved owner.

Vega

._.

wut ?

like Spica, he will stand there, but not like Spica, he will remain standing there for a very long time.

Even Precious stops bitting the plastic toy that now looks like it's been shredded, even you stop encouraging your cute psychopath of a beast.

why are you giving it more attention ? HIIIIIISSSSSSSS-

He doesn't give a shit, we all know just how much of a simp he gets when it comes to you.

I love how I skipped the part where Precious tried to lunge at him and remove his eyeballs from his eye sockets.

You luckily managed to avoid that, but now you got an animal and a touch-starved white boy clinging onto you for dear life.

Vega I need to proceed with my ferret's training so could you please ? no. ...You're lucky you're just as adorable as my electric saw. BFUKETGEHTK$#$ PRECIOUS STOP SWEARING-

Have a good day I hope you liked it.

[nightfall-1409]

Oops so that was a while!

Nightfall Update ahead of the holidays! (and a push for myself to, blog again). some details under the cut but tl;dr it's been a while but im back here and trying to be back here! with new stuff! And updates to certain things too damn!

Rough year for me! Probably for many people really :(

good stuff first

uhhh biggest news is that through all the bullshit i was able to participate in the clone bang. The last 6 weeks of my life have been so stressful bc I had to write like 80% of the damn fic. It's a 125k monster of a fic that i feel quite proud of, the last 45k of it was written in literally the last two weekends. upcoming details in a promo post as soon as I hear back from my last artist <3

With that, though, my creative writing juices thoroughly uh. revitalized. to recovene followers: ezra chapter is coming soon :) that was a mean cliffhanger, i did not expect for my brain to literally commit mutiny :( sorry

I hope to have that done before bang posting starts (December baby here we come)

uhhhh only other thing is I am attending sanfrancisco expo ! lookin forward 2 that as well.

some generalized health stuff. the heat stroke i suffered last year was apparently maybe not a heat stroke (noted by the fact I was consistently worsening) and that sentence is still terrifying to me bc as i recall i couldnt fuckin read or turn around without wanting to fall over for like a month and a half there. But. whatever. It was a slow decline for a while, I was still getting some stuff out, but eventually, the amt of pain i was in overwhelmed me in june n it consumed me whole from july - august with slow improvement happening from then on.

it took me. quite a long time to see a specialist (and it was originally going to be longer! haha!) , but i've been seen. and am on treatment. and it sucks bc flashing lights still kill me (including literally shadows of the setting sun through a line of trees and a CEILING FAN are you KIDDING ME) and migraines r like. my best most toxic friend <3 it's so overrrr. We do not know what happened beyond my facial nerves just deciding to go balling insane. L. or what started that. L. But its finally getting better!! yay. we're so back.

to the ppl who've reached out 2 me / tagged me / putstuff in my inbox in ao3 or thought about me ;w; bro.. thank you !!! it killed me all the time bc it was like. I wanted to participate!! I want to have fun!! but the amt of energy things took. insane. but it was nice to be thought abt regardless. I want to be back now and have fun again. have a lovely night <3

[aran-morinorea]

WIP WEDNESDAY WEDNESDAY

Slimmed-down post/rules, but originally taken from kedreeva (and directly taken from suzukiblu)

It’s WIP Wednesday on a Wednesday! The PoV character is confused and distressed, and I am saying “yay” “yippee” and things of this nature. About that and literally nothing else, today.

Here’s how it works:

I will post the file names of five four WIPs, and will also post a snippet of new content from one of them to get the ball rolling.

Send me an ask with the name of one of the listed WIPs and I will write you a minimum of three sentences in that WIP in response!

Multiple asks are fine ^-^

If you’re reading this, you’re invited!

WIP names:

With Tar-Telepta, Aran Morinórea (silvergifting, coruling Mordor for fun and aesthetics):

The Worst Road Trip (my love language is kidnapping your uncle)

A Major Diplomatic Incident (Elrond is a guest in Sauron's house)

Without Tar-Telepta:

Mallachel (silvergifting, accidental time travel), which is old

Non-Euclidean Nan Elmoth (maeglin/glorfindel), which is new

That’s all I got today, but if you want someone else’s perspective on whatever the fuck tyelpe and annatar have got going on please ask and I will make an attempt.

snippet from Non-Euclidean Nan Elmoth:

Laurefindele is alone again, without his horse (or the supplies in her saddlebags), in the suddenly trackless wood. It is getting darker fast. He tries to call back his horse, he picks a direction and runs, he calls for the vanished stranger, for anyone who might hear him. The birds are laughing at him. He can barely see his hands in front of his face. He begs the empty air for help - and steps into a garden. The trees lean out over it, shielding it from the sky, but pale purple flowers, softly glowing, line a path to the door of a little blue house. Its porch lantern is lit.

[The in-universe justification for this is paper-thin and extremely contrived. There is no fucking reason for glorfindel to be the person this happens to, i know this. The real justification is that i was rereading “until this place is full of sunlight” (@jaz-the-bard) and my brain was like "but how could we get glorfindel into a position where maeglin has a terrifying power over him?" because i think glorfindel would be really hot scared out of his mind.]

[also i don’t have a name for the horse yet]