#terrible multilingual puns are terrible

[mexashepot]

Modern Hebrew stress patterns are like its fifth letter.

Both work mysterious ways.

[egodb]

Me: Pluto isn't a planet.

Pluto lover: wincing plus tôt, plus tôt. Oh, Pluto!

[kannellaspenta]

ANOTHER BAD PUN IN ITALIAN 🇮🇹

Essere un personaggio in un fandom o un turista in metro è la stessa cosa...

perché in entrambi i casi, appena ti vedono,

ti shippano.

(Translation: being a character in a fandom or a tourist in the subway is the same thing, bc in both cases, you'll get "shipped". Only makes sense in Italian, where we have "scippare", "to pickpocket", which sounds just like "shippare", "shipping".)

ENGLISH VERS:

Being a fictional character in a fandom and being an Amazon order is the same thing... because you'll get shipped either way.

[acatandamouse]

A terrible, terrible multilingual pun.

[dru-plays-starbound]

Den Gulerød Lagune

«Translated from an advertising pamphlet written in Frögg»

Every adventurer needs to take a break, lest they be broken. And what better way for the adventurous sort to relax than by the power of lava!

During your visit, we invite you to recline in the lagoon's healing waters, heated to a beautiful temperature by the lava below. The alluvial mud does wonders for your skin, and the nourishing and softening effects are particularly effective for creatures with porous skin types.

After a relaxing dip, we invite you to take advantage of our spa and have all those battle-knots eased out by our certified masseuses. What could be better after all that than to partake in a healthy snack and have a well-deserved nap in our 5-star hotel.

We look forward to your visit!

Built for the Starbound Autumn prompt "hot drink", and the Summer prompt "resort".

Mods used: Foodie's Furniture, WW Furnishing, Prop Pack, nuggubs' Mega Mod, Pixel/ Fixel Goods Store, Frogg Furnishing Plus.

[readersperspective]

Writing Advice Bilingual Characters

As some of you (who read my reviews) already might have noticed, I am bilingual myself. Sadly, multilingual people do not get represented well a lot in media, so yeah... some advice for writing them. It will certainly not capture every aspect of being bilingual, but it might give you a first idea.

There are different ways to be multilingual.

People who grew up with more than one native language will almost certainly speak all of them fluently. Most of them have two (their parents’ language and their country’s language, or the language of one parent and of the other) but I also know a family where the children grew up with four native languages (the mother speaks Portuguese, the father Italian, they talk to each other in English, and live in Germany, where the children grew up)

Some people speak two or more languages, but cannot write all of them - especially when the alphabets are not the same, for example English and Russian or Arabic. This affects mostly children of immigrants.

Some people can read and write a language quite well, but are not good at speaking or listening comprehension. Those people often learned the language at school with a bad teacher or by themselves with books and apps.

Some people, again mostly children and grandchildren of immigrants, can read and understand a language, but don’t speak it. Mostly, the parents decided to not teach the child the language, and they learned it themselves by listening to their parents talk to relatives.

Confidence can play a big role in this. I understand the dialect of my grandparents without a problem, but I would never try to speak it. I can’t even imagine forming those words with my mouth, and it would sound terrible.

People who learnt a language at school can reach completely different levels of that language. I started learning English at age 6 and am completely fluent by now. Other people in my class barely understand more than easy conversations in English.

Most people will do their very best to hide their accents.

If the person is not a native speaker, but fluent in a language, their accent will be a mix of whatever they can find at the moment. Media is a big influence in that.

Since I watch more British than American TV, my accent sounds a bit british, too. When I watched “Call the Midwife”, I often even unconciously copy the accent of Laura Main. I don’t know why her, but my brain just liked it, I guess.

Also, we will use words, phrases and sentence structures from so many different sources.

People who learnt English through the internet (aka most of the younger generation) will have problems to not use swear words when actually being in Great Britain or America. They just do not have the weight for us, since on the internet they get used all the time.

I have never in my whole live heard a multilingual person switch languages mid-sentence on accident.

We will do it on purpose, though, if the other part of the conversation understands both languages.

Also, we will maybe say the word in another language if we forget the meaning.

Multilingual people that are not natives in the language they usually use in their day-to-day life (immigrants, for example) will often count and calculate in their native language. For example at a restaurant where they calculate the price in their head, they will probably do it in their native language.

Conversations with multiple multilingual people can be very different.

If one person only understands one language, they will probably try to include that person by speaking the language they share. I can say from experience, though, that if eight native Germans that have varying levels of English language skills will sit together with one introverted Turkish person with medium English language skills, they will go back to German quite often. It’s not nice, but sadly natural.

In general, people will try to speak in their native language if possible. You can take two people that share a native language and also both speak English and let them walk around in London - they will probably speak their native language, no matter how well they speak English.

Multilingual people that share multiple languages will switch on purpose when they feel like they can express their thoughts better in the other language.

Many languages have taken words from English.

Especially young people take a lot of English filler words and phrases (or insults) and put them into their native language. “Help, mein Deutschlehrer überfordert uns mit Hausaufgaben, like, what the fuck, glaubt der wir haben nichts besseres zu tun?” Is a sentence you would absolutely hear from a German student.

Many young people that don’t live in Great Britain or America will not use these words and phrases around their parents. First of all, our parents often do not speak English as well as we do, but more importantly, our parents do not like us using English instead of ur native language.

Many professions nowadays have an English name, I don’t know why. What used to be a Hausmeister is now a Facility Manager. The longer the English phrase for your profession, the more likely you will not be taken serious by older people.

Once you have more than one native language, you learn new languages more easily, for some reason. I know a girl that speaks 7 languages, at age 20, 5 of them fluently.

"You speak English quite well” or phrases like that said by a native speaker can be the best compliment ever, or more uncomfortable than nice.

When you are translating for your family and hear that sentence, it is super nice.

When you are only speaking English, that sentence indicates that your accent is still heavy. You do not pass as a native speaker.

When you are a native speaker, that sentence is just weird.

You can indentify the people that learnt a language through reading by giving them words that are pronounced untypically.

For years I thought “precious” (a word that is heavily used on the internet, especially in fan communities, but not that much in school) was pronounces pree-ci-ous. I was shocked when I heard it for the first time.

There are situations where even quite fluent non-native speakers will not be able to understand or talk in their second language.

The first few minutes after standing up (although that can change when the person is really fluent)

When they are in great pain

When they are in great fear

When they are under great stress

Sometimes even when they did not use that language in the last few days

Translating in realtime is terribly hard and will fuck your head. When I was on holiday with my parents, I often had to read the information signs in museums or at sights for them and translate. It’s easier when you first read the text and then summarise it in another language, but trying to translate it sentence by sentence is painful and you will question your abilities in both languages.

This gets just more horrible when under pressure. While we were in England, a visibly stressed young woman came to us and asked us if we had 5 pounds, she had lost some money she needed to take the train back home. I repeated her sentence to my father. In English.

Also sorry to the poor worker at McDonalds who I talked English to while speaking German to my English exchange student.

People abroad will absolutely become friends with every person that they hear speaking their language. While being in London, we overheard a man talking to his son in German about taking a photo, and I immediately asked (in German) if I should take a photo of both of them together. We talked for fifteen minutes after that, even though we had never met before.

On that note, in tourist citys the people that try to sell things to tourists usually speak a lot of languages enough to say things like “Oh, I speak a bit of [language], too, but not well. Didn’t pay enough attention in school. You look like nice people.” Makes it so easy to sell things.

Idioms are literally hell. Best example has been in the news currently, with Greta Thunberg literally translating a Swedish idiom in a tweet not realising that “putting someone against a wall” means something totally different in English. 

Idioms will be hell for you as a writer, too, though, as long as you do not fluently speak both of the languages or at least one of them is fictional, because it’s quite easy to mess up if you use idioms that jus aren’t normally used by people speaking that language.

Bilingual puns are amazing, but sadly rare.

Those are the things I thought of first... Maybe you can find some ideas or inspiration there for your characters, too. The best thing of course is to let someone proof-read your character if you are uncertain, but this hopefully already helped you a bit!

[what-if-nct]

(horrible terrible no good multilingual pun 4 u) yangyang, speaking to koreaboos: call me older man// me, speaks german: i will call you grandfather if you don't fucking stop

Yes, i love that. He really needs to stop. But the moment he smiles its like he can do whatever he wants.

[the8thsphynx]

Re: language headcanon

How long do you think Aizen and Co. took to come up with all their names which also had meaning in both Japanese and Spanish. (And how often do you think the Vasto Lordes made terrible multilingual puns?)

Based on the scene from Wonderweiss's 'birth' and the scenes from Grimmjow's backstory, it looks like the adjuchas and arrancars have the ability to still choose their own names, even before Aizen!

BUT, you're totally right, the arrancars probably didn't miss a beat in making multi-lingual jokes.

Fuck, where's that one comic where the artist pointed out that all the Espada probably speak different dialects of Spanish and would go apeshit if asked to name 'popcorn'...

[aggrobot]

Here’s your terrible multilingual pun for the day:

I’ll show myself out.

[mexashepot]

If your friendship is not full of terrible multilingual puns then what's the point

[snapchattingnct]

One of Many Reasons Why

Mark Lee x Reader

Genre: Fluff

Word Count: 2.7K Warnings: cursing, minor religion mentioned

Summary: There were many reasons to love Mark Lee…

Notes: Happiest of birthdays to our baby lion, Mark Lee. I had a totally different piece written for his birthday but I completely scrapped it and wrote this instead. And I like it so much better. -  K 🌱

1. Circle Frames

Mark usually wore contacts most of the time, which was disappointing since he looked so stinking cute in those precious circle frames of his. But whenever he got too lazy or forgot to buy more contacts, he would end up wearing his glasses instead. And those were moments that you lived for. You couldn’t help but coo at how cute he looked each time that he wore them, taking a billion pictures of him as you did so. Mark would simply push away your phone, becoming incredibly flustered, telling you, “Ugh, babe stop….”

2. Messy Love Notes

Mark had a habit of writing you little love notes every chance he got. Most of the time, his love notes were never written on a clean sheet of paper. They were usually short blurbs scribbled messily on whatever he could get his hands on; a Starbucks napkin, on the back of his music theory quiz, a crumpled up post-it note. But that didn’t matter, you loved it regardless.

Unfolding the folded love note Mark had slipped to you in passing earlier, you couldn’t help but smile as you read the messily written note on the corner of a flashcard. ‘I love you to the moon and back.’

3. Secret Handshakes

For someone who was extremely clumsy and sometimes a little uncoordinated, Mark loved making secret handshakes for all of his friends. And you weren’t an exception. Since the day that you’ve met each other, way before the two of you became a couple, you and Mark have been adding a new move to your guys’ handshake. Each time that you two saw each other, it still amazes you how either one of you were able to memorize all the moves at this point.

4. Baby Giggles

No matter how much, Mark loves to deny it. Mark Lee was nothing but a big baby. He is the epitome of a baby. Especially when he giggles and laughs at things that he finds amusing. Even though he’s older, whenever that cute giggle of his slips passed his lips, you can’t help but feel a sense of overprotectiveness overcome you. Mark Lee was to be protective at all cost because he’s simply precious like that.

5. Goofball

Sometimes it was so hard to take Mark seriously because at the end of the day, he was nothing but a goofball. He would laugh at the simplest things, the lamest jokes, and the cheesiest puns. The best part was that even when it wasn’t funny, he would still laugh. And he just had the most contagious laugh in the whole world. So you couldn’t help but laugh along with him until your stomach hurt.

6. Warm Cuddles

Maybe you were biased but Mark gave the best hugs and was the best cuddle buddy in the world. No one could compare. The best kind are the ones that he gave on those calm, Sunday mornings. Eyes barely open and mind barely awake, Mark would pull you closer, sharing his warmth with you. Then with a lazy hand, he would thread his fingers through your hair. Mumbling softly into your hair, he would say, “Let’s just stay in bed all day babe…”

7. Burnt Eggs

It was a universally acknowledged fact that Mark Lee was a terrible cook. He wasn’t even able to boil water without it evaporating completely. He was honestly that bad of a cook. So the one morning that he decided that it would be a brilliant idea to wake up early and make you an omelette for breakfast, he almost burned down half the building. From then on, Mark was completely banned from the kitchen stove. These days, he still wakes up early and prepares breakfast for you though. Except he just orders it from your favorite bakery down the street, which was a much better option for everyone.

8. Watermelon Boy

There were two things in the world that Mark Lee loved with his entire heart. Of course, one of those things was you. But the love he had for watermelon was equally as strong. Honestly speaking, had he not met you in this lifetime, you were sure that he would have ended up marrying a watermelon.

He was all yours for three seasons out of four. When summer hit though, that was a completely different story because with summer comes the watermelons. Surprisingly with how much he buys and brings home everyday, you weren’t sick of eating all that watermelon. It might have been the cute, happy smile that he has on his face each time he ate them that made it worth it.

9. What the Flute?

Mark Lee was talented at a lot of things; rapping, composing, singing, dancing, and the list simply goes on and on. But the one thing that he wasn’t good at playing the flute. The day that you had found the instrument case of his flute back from primary school was the day that you realized that there were some things that Mark couldn’t do. You had teased him, calling him a cute band geek as you pulled the case out from the back of his closet. Flipping through the old music scores, you asked him if he could still play it.

Shrugging his shoulders, he said, “Maybe? I’m not sure. It’s been a while.”

And it has been a while because the moment that he held the flute up to his lips and tried to play it, nothing but squeaks came out. This left you rolling on the floor laughing as you clutched your stomach in pain. The laughing didn’t stop as Mark continued to give his best effort in playing the flute.

Let’s just say that his primary school days of playing in a marching band were long over.

10. Team Android

No matter how many times you had urged him to upgrade his phone to an iPhone, Mark continued to stay loyal to that android of his. You didn’t have a problem with him having an android. No, not at all. You just wanted to be able to use all the cute talking emojis on iMessage.

11. Fully Capable

It was pretty rare for Mark to ever feel nervous about his performances and presentations. Mark was one of the top students in their music department. He was the department’s golden child. He could literally do anything that he would set his mind to. You had just wished that he knew that he was good enough and he didn’t have anything to fear.

One night, during finals, Mark was on the verge of a mental breakdown as he tried to finish the composition for his music theory class. As he angrily tossed aside his notebook and guitar, you came up to him and immediately pulled him into your arms. With a soothing hand running through his hair, you said, “Hey, it’s okay babe.”

Mumbling incoherently into the nape of your neck, “No, it’s not… I can’t even rearrange this stupid simple song. How am I supposed to do anything in life?”

“You’re just thinking too hard about it. Relax, babe.”

“How the hell am I supposed to relax when I have nothing finished and this is due in like five hours?” He cried out, clearly frustrated.

Pulling away from the embrace, you cupped his face in between the palm of your hands, forcing him to look at you directly in the eye. “Hey. Seriously. Quit being so negative right now. This isn’t like you. Because the Mark Lee I know is a music genius and he’s absolutely fully capable of anything and everything.”

12. Butterfly Kisses

Kisses from Mark were also the best and you might be a little biased again, but it’s the truth. Sometimes Mark gets a little too shy to kiss you outright on the lips, so he showers you with butterfly kisses instead. First, he’ll bring your hand to his lips and kiss the back of it. Then he’ll pull you in close and place a fleeting kiss on your temple. Then your cheeks, then your nose, and lastly your lips.

13. Multilingual King

Even after knowing Mark for so many years, it still amazes you how many languages the boy knows and can pick up on so quick. He was like your own personal translator when you guys when on trips to foreign countries. But it was also funny how he would stumble over his words sometimes when he’s trying to switch between languages. When that happens, he just puts his hands out in a pausing motion, shouting, “Okay. Wait, wait. I need to switch my brain over.”

14. Corny Jokes

The jokes that he tells you and the ones that he finds funny are ones that are rivaling of your dad’s. His sense of humor was really one of a father in their mid-thirties.

As the two of you sit there side by side, enjoying a bowl of cold watermelon, he begins to laugh obnoxiously before he can even say the joke. Already prepared for the worst joke in the world, you sit there, staring straight back at him with an unamused look.

After he’s finished with his laughing fit, he smiles and feeds you a piece of watermelon, saying, “Babe, you’re one in a melon.”

15. Spiderman Mark Lee

For Halloween, Mark’s friends decided to throw a Marvel themed party and it was the best idea that they could ever come up with. Why? Because Mark Lee decided to go to the party as Spiderman. And you may or may not have a crush on Peter Parker but Mark didn’t need to know that.

But when he got tired of all the drinking games that his friends were playing, he scouted you out amongst the crowd. And when he saw that you were sitting on the swing set that Jaemin’s family had in the backyard, he came up with the most brilliant plan.

Sneaking up behind you as quiet as he could, Mark climbed on top of the jungle gym above the swings. Then nearly scaring the living daylights out of you, he swung downwards, straight in front of your face, whispering, “Hey.”

“Oh my gosh! Mark Lee!” You screamed. Hand clutching your racing heart, you breathed out heavily through your nose. “You can’t go around and do things like this and not expect me to die from a premature heart attack!”

“Sorry,” he laughed. Then pulling the ends of his mask up, he whispered softly, “Here, take a kiss as my apology.”

And you might have just died when he said that because that was such a classic Spiderman move.

16. Billionaire

The day the ‘Billionaire’ by Bruno Mars had came on the radio as the two of you were studying, it instantly became your guys’ song. It was on repeat for the longest of time, to the point to where you both knew the rap and vocal parts equally by heart. Each time that it came on, you didn’t have to think for a second before you’re belting out the chorus together, whether it was out in public or in the comfort of your own apartment. You didn’t care because it was your song.

17. Driver’s License

For someone his age, you would think that he would have a driver’s license by now. But nope, that wouldn’t be Mark Lee would it?

One day as you’re picking him up from his shift at the music store down the street from his apartment complex you couldn’t help but ask, “Don’t you think you should get your driver’s license? I mean you’re almost twenty one...”

Nodding, Mark said in reply, “Yeah, I probably should…”

And that he did.

Because the next day, before the sun was even up, he came knocking on your apartment’s door. Barely awake, you had answered the door with annoyance, yanking it open, “Babe. It’s not even eight. What do you want?”

“Well, good morning to you too, princess.” Mark chuckled.

After closing the door, he follows you back to your bedroom, where you flopped rather ungracefully back onto your bed. Crawling into the empty space beside you, he tucked a strand behind your ear, smiling as he stares back at you intently. “Guess what I did this morning?”

Leaning into his touch, you close your eyes, relishing in the warmth that he was giving off. With a soft hum, you asked half-asleep, “What did you do?”

“I got my driver’s license.”

Eyes shooting wide open and mouth completely agape, you exclaimed, “You what?!”

Scrambling to sit up, you slapped him on the shoulder, making him laugh even harder. “Wait, hold up.” You said as you held your hands up, trying to wrap your mind around what Mark has just told you. Sputtering, “You… actually went and got a driver’s license? You know I was just joking right?”

“Yeah, but I figured that it was time to get one anyways.” He smiled. “Plus it was a piece of cake.”

“Only you, Mark Lee. Only you.”

“Yes, that would be me. I am Mark Lee.”

“Oh shush,” you couldn’t help but laugh. Then extending your hand out to him, you gave him a sweet smile. “Alright, the moment of truth. Let me see that driver’s license photo.”

The smile on his lips widen even more as he reached into his back pocket and retrieved his wallet. Then placing his freshly new driver’s license into the palm of your awaiting hand, he leaned back satisfied.

And course he would be satisfied. Mark looked devilishly handsome on his license. But you couldn’t help but tease him about it as you pinched his cheeks, saying, “Aww look at our Markie Poo being all cool and handsome.”

Pushing your hands away from his face, Mark snatched his license back and tucked it away into his wallet. Then opening his arms, he asked, “Alright, are we going to cuddle or are you going to continue making fun of me?”

“Who says that I can’t do both?” You told him teasingly as you tucked yourself into his waiting arms, snuggling up against his warm body.

18. Baby Lion

“Baby Lion”, that was one of the many nicknames that you had for Mark. You weren’t quite sure where the nickname had come from. But the day that you saw Mark wake up from his nap, stretching and yawning like a cute baby cub with his hair a complete disarray, it clicked.

19. Religious Boy

Mark Lee was a wholesome, kind-hearted, and precious boy. He would never fail to remind you how he is ever so thankful that God had allowed someone like you to enter into his life; to have someone to love and support through thick and thin. He told you once that he prays for your health and happiness every night before he sleeps and you couldn’t help but feel that there really wasn’t another Mark Lee in this world.

20. Black Haired Mark

You honestly didn’t think that Mark could get any handsomer than he already was until the day he came back from the barber shop and had his hair dyed black. Without warning, he had sneaked up behind and wrapped his arms around you as the two of you stood in the kitchen. You were too busy reviewing your study notes and drinking your morning coffee to notice his new hair. But when you did, you were nothing but a sputtering mess and spilling coffee all over the counter.

Mouth agape, you exclaimed, “Oh. My. Gosh. Your hair…”

Nodding his head, he ruffled his hair shyly. “Yeah. I figured it was time for a change. Spice it up a little bit from the classic brown.”

The words had left your mouth before you could stop it, “Yeah, spice it up alright, because you look hot.”

21. Best Friend

Before the two of you even became a couple, you were each other’s best friend. Mark was the best friend that you could only dream of having. He laughed with you at the stupid things you did and tries to make you feel better about yourself. Even when you don’t want to hear it, Mark gives you the most honest advice and makes sure to keep you in check. He’s always there for you, even when he’s thousands of miles away for vacations with his family or concerts for the music department. He makes sure that he is the first to say ‘good morning’ and ‘goodnight’ to you. And last but not least, Mark loves you at your best and he still loves you even at your worst.

[arodrwho]

how to write caleb widogast voice: an unauthorized guide

step 1: be autistic

rip to allistics but listen. Listen. autisms write the best calebs & them's just the facts

step 2: embrace the em dash

vry useful for when u break off midsentence & switch tracks or slip into tangential asides or speak particularly haltingly (more abrupt than commas)

step 3: don’t worry about finishing all your--

sometimes u just gotta kinda--

and let context fill in the gaps

step 4: repetition is your friend

the same phrase three times in a row, the same sentence structure scattered throughout, the same word over and over and over as you search for the right--the right--the right--the--the--the--

the right one (even and especially if it is sometimes simple)

step 5: consider occasional parentheses

it’s about them layered thoughts y’know (the personal Asides, the emotional distance)

step 6: contractions are not always the enemy, but there’s a time & place

use of them in emotionally heavy dialogue isnot advised

use of them in the narration tho? yea why not

step 7: you, ah, you sort of, well, you know--you love filler words now?

how many should u use? idk man u jus gotta feel that in ur heart

 factor in stuff like anxiety & spoons when makin ur guesstimates tho

step 8: you may also want 2 make things questions that are not really questions?

gotta love that autistic inflection/anxious uncertainty blend?

step 9: there should at least occasionally be a kind of rhythm to the words

gotta love that autistic sing-song

step 10: big emotions make the rhythm go [static noise]

you bumble and stumble and. stop. and em dash and--repeat and. filler word and--and--and--we--and we--and we just--the record skips

(in your head aswell as outloud)

step 11: you can be fairytale eloquent outloud, but gods, at what cost

even in zemnian, this does not come entirely naturally; it is always a mask & uses up Spoons

step 12: swallow a dictionary, but season it with fresh memes

what is informal what is hyperformal, who knows, who cares, choose whichever words best convey the precise meaning & sentiment u want to express. who gives a shit if they sound strange together. certainly not u. ur too busy being Clear (& also confused when ppl think u are Not clear)

step 13: you love puns now.

perhaps they do not go in the dialogue all the time, but if it is possible for them to occur to u, they almost certainly occur to u

step 14: overexplain or underexplain

inbetween? never heard of it

step 15: sometimes you will forget a word. you will know the concept but not The Word. you will get stuck

for multilingual reasons And autism reasons (and autism reasons) (i cannot stress this enough)

step 16: metaphors can be terribly confusing but u kind of think in them a lot

things just make more sense when compared to other things w/which u are already familiar & which u already have associations for!!

rip if other ppl use them tho, u ain't got th context then,,

step 17: learn how to write nott. sporadically steal fragments of some of her speech patterns

step 18: the same thing, but with beauregard

step 19: the same thing, but with the rest of the nein

step 20: the same thing, but with trent ikithon

double your outloud metaphor usage tbh. caleb always uses more metaphors when he's channeling trent (telling the group trent's worldviews? check. talking to the scourger, both times? double check.)

step 21: u love nicknames

referring to ppl by casual first names? god that's so intimate. Fuck. No. that's for notts only thanks.

(the others, of course, in time. but when they are not around, mentioning them to other ppl? ohh all bets r off !!)

step 22: ur realbig on i-statements, jus in general

are u discussing feelings? assigning blame? sharing opinions? talking abt the weather? u'll prolly throw exclusively i-statements in there

step 23: infodump, but remember that infodumps are primarily intended as conversations, not lectures

ergo they follow th standard conversational patterns; thoughts are logically connected & sentences should flow 1 into the next with relative ease. they should not b Random Disjointed Fun Facts. they should b a rabbithole of info. u want Depth, not Breadth

(also. u want ppl to b excited With u. if ppl are Not u can generally tell b4 too terribly long & Will stop)

step 24: u got catchphrases! use them wisely!

what's wisely? that's up to u 2 decide. like filler words, u gotta feel that shit in ur heart

step 25: if u are in Emotional Distress. ur words will occasionally tell u 2 go fuck urself entirely

sometimes all u can do is "mm" 2 the intimidating wizard in the tower until u are Repeatedly Pressed. sometimes u can't even do that. words are bastards u know

to conclude: Yes

[konowiw]

gonna mow that ass if you know what I mean

[bornsteel]

BASICS:

NAME: mercury black. NICKNAME(S): merc. ALIAS(ES): the butcher, the assassin. AGE: 24. BIRTHDATE: february 2.  BIRTHPLACE: anima. GENDER: cis male. ORIENTATION: bisexual. SPECIES: human. OCCUPATION: assassin. SOCIOECONOMIC STATUS: lower class. CURRENT RESIDENCE: salem’s palace.

FAMILY:

PARENTS: marcus black (deceased), and maia black (deceased). UPBRINGING: raised by his father in the mountains of anima, lived in relative poverty and suffered consistent abuse at the hands of his father. BIRTH ORDER: only child. SIBLINGS: none. PETS: none.

PERSONAL:

MORAL ALIGNMENT: lawful good    /   neutral good   /   chaotic good    /    lawful neutral    /    true neutral    /    chaotic neutral    /   lawful evil    /    neutral evil  /   chaotic evil RELIGION: n/a. PHILOSOPHY:    cynicism    /    idealism    /    realism    /    apathy SINS:   greed    /    gluttony    /    sloth    /    lust    /    pride    /    envy    /    wrath VIRTUES: chastity    /    charity    /    diligence    /    humility     /    kindness    /    patience    /   justice SECRETS:  STRENGTHS:  combat styles; tae-kwon-do, muay thai, capoeira. lockpicking, pickpocketing, assassinations. common survival skills. mechanics, languages (multilingual), coding. origami, guitar, and piano. can be very observant, clever, and quick-witted. WEAKNESSES: reading, general math & chemistry, writing, money-managing, cooking, and most academic subjects / endeavours.  lacks patience (for people), understanding, and empathy. terrible at keeping his mouth shut.

MENTAL:

KNOWN LANGUAGES: english, greek, french, ASL, and conversational spanish and japanese. EDUCATION: everything he knows, he’s either self-taught, learned from marcus, or cinder. he has no formal education whatsoever. MENTOR(S): marcus black, cinder fall. INTERESTS: sparring / fighting for sport, general arts and crafts, music, and being outdoors.

PHYSICAL:

FACECLAIM(S): brendon thwaites / grant gustin. HAIR: silver. EYES: grey. SKIN: pale white. BUILD: scrawny    /    bony    /    slender    /    fit    /    athletic    /    curvy    /    full - figured    / herculean    /    pudgy    /    average HEIGHT: 5′10. WEIGHT: 140 lbs. SCARS  /  BIRTHMARKS: scars covering his arms, back, and chest, with scars along the prosthetic lines of his thighs. CONSTITUTION  /  FITNESS: physically fit, with strong thighs and abdomen. rarely gets sick, even though he eats like a garbage disposal.

FAVORITES:

DISH(ES): pizza, steak, and big bowls of ice cream. DRINK(S): hot chocolate, dr. pepper. PIZZA TOPPING(S): pepperoni, sausage, olives. COLOR(S): blue and grey. MUSIC GENRE(S): rap, alternative, rock. BOOK GENRE(S): comics, teen fantasy (when he learns to read). MOVIE GENRE(S): action, superhero films, horror. CURSE WORD(S): fuck. SCENT(S): roses.

FUN STUFF:

TOP , BOTTOM , OR SWITCH: bottom leaning switch. SINGS IN THE SHOWER: he might hum, but never sings. LIKES PUNS: he’s not averse to them, though he’s shit at coming up with them himself. HOGWARTS HOUSE: slytherin. ABILITIES  /  POWERS: his semblance (dubbed wings of hermes, allowing him to gain great speeds and heights), was stolen from him by his father. 

[kayivy]

i feel and fear for nile because in addition to loving terrible dad jokes i’m sure they’d also love the kind of awful puns that only work if you speak multiple languages

like, my family is wildly multilingual (family is from heaps of different countries, both parents are linguists) and every single conversation they’ll pull something like this

me: telling a thrilling story about my misadventures in car registration bureaucracy, calling some process ‘horseshit’

my dad, nodding sagely: pferdereis

me, running through translations: ...

(pferdereis (german) translates to something like ‘horse rice’ in english, which doesn’t make sense, but in chinese you’d end up with mǎ fàn (马饭) which kind of sounds like máfan (麻烦), which means something like ‘overly complicated/hassling’)

me, very tired: please don’t

and meanwhile my mum is wheezing like that’s the funniest thing she‘s ever heard

and that’s exactly the kind of shit i imagine they’d randomly sprinkle into conversations and nile just going

honestly, i hate to admit it but i never really thought that the little jokes joe and nicky traded in the lab were that funny. cute? heartbreakingly adorable? full of love and affection? indicative of their deep bond and ability to make each other smile even in the worst circumstances? yes yes absolutely. but i never really laughed, i just smiled fondly at their love.

then i rewatched tog with my older parents, who thought joe’s ‘bedhead?’ joke was hilarious. and i realized something i should have much earlier… joe and nicky just have the kind-of-silly sense of humor of like, outdated boomer parents. 

which has gotten me thinking about the massive potential for dad jokes that rests within their combined three brain cells. nile is about to spend eternity getting hit by stupid puns and silly nudges and dumb dad jokes that she pretends to hate but secretly loves and i am so here for it.

[dawnofspeed]

Character Interview

Repost do not reblog. Tagged by @xfightxxme 

Writing for comic canon Dawn from 31st Century

NAME: Dawn Nora Jae West Allen NICKNAME: Dawnie, Flashette, Cyclone, Tornado Twin, Flash Jr AGE: 20 SPECIES: Meta human

personal.

MORALITY: lawful / neutral / chaotic / good / neutral / evil RELIGIOUS BELIEF: Atheist   SINS: greed / gluttony / sloth / lust / pride / envy / wrath VIRTUES: chastity / charity / diligence / humility / kindness / patience / justice PRIMARY GOALS IN LIFE: Becoming the next Flash and changing the entire way her time thinks and treats metas and alien immigrants. LANGUAGES KNOWN: English, Interlac, Martian, Old Modern English, Old Modern Spanish SECRETS: Dawn took various time trips in her teens to try and find/connect with her cousin Wally. Only one was near successful and she chickened out at the last moment before contact. SAVVIES: hand to hand combat, her speed plus knowledge of how to use it effectively, insanely good with science, multilingual.

physical.

BUILD: scrawny / bony / slender / fit / athletic / curvy / herculean / pudgy / average / short HEIGHT: 5′4 WEIGHT: 121lbs SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: She’s got several scars around her ribcage/hips/stomach from various misshaps while running/fighting. She also has a birthmark on her side, around her lower back. It looks like half a butterfly. ABILITIES/POWERS: speedster [including speed healing, speed thinking, etc]. This also means she needs to eat a large amount to keep up her energy and for her metabolism.  RESTRICTIONS:  She lives her life in super speed, and has since birth. She finds it hard to slow down and has never lived life at the speed others have, making it hard for her to understand that speed. 

favourites.

FOOD: Veggie burgers DRINK: Her own alcohol like concoction for speedsters PIZZA TOPPING: Pineapple COLOUR: baby pink, purple and blue. MUSIC GENRE: pop punk BOOK GENRE: mysteries, biographies, thrillers, classics MOVIE GENRE: comedies SEASON: Summer CURSE WORD: shit SCENT(S): flower fields and grass

fun stuff.

BOTTOM OR TOP: Depends SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Always terribly LIKES BAD PUNS: Yes

tagging: @donofspeed @puppyrogue @puppycrushing @bengalisms @ofaarok @legionrunner @strayimpulse @futureimp @sonofsuperman @sonofasymbol @jxsontodd @hearstheearth @thedarkempath @fastestboyalive @crimsoncharms @alwaysfcward  and anyone else!