#terrible idea. dont do that. be angry with a few friends and then move on

[sunshine-in-a-bottle]

Regarding the uptick in drunz positive content each time theirs a neg analysis- honestly, part of this feels like an example of Tumblrs golden rule: don't like? Block.

If a person's analysis is distressing to you, and you know it's always going to be, remove it from your sight line. Stop engaging with stuff that's going to distress you. I'm so serious. Dreblr is a wonderful community I love- and I also block people who's content I know will make me feel bad. It's not personal. It's never personal. We can all be united in loving cDream and also staying in our own lanes regarding how we love him.

If you *have* to follow or engage with people you know are going to post content that upsets you, limit your interactions. You don't need to be passive aggressive and vague post your disagreement/dislike of a take. You don't even need to know the details, you can just not read the post if you know it's going to be a negative experience for you.

I get that meta and analysis culture often relies on loreheads interacting to agree or disagree or engage in what can be a fun debate, and I'm not saying we should shut out the world every time it doesn't align with you, but at the end of the day, fandom isn't our jobs. We all have real world responsibilities and lives we have to live. Fandom is a hobby we're meant to enjoy, and you shouldn't be feeding the parts of it that are making you stressed; you have plenty of time to be stressed struggling with employers and medical stuff and money.

Also just- don't be a dick to people, and don't be a dick about the things they enjoy. You can hate a ship- I sure do- but at some point the complaining about a ship stops being an interesting conversation and instead just makes you look and feel absolutely miserable. I totally get being upset at a fandom wide preference, but you're not going to change that preference. An analysis post shouldn't be made to try to fight an entire fandom about their opinions. It's for you! To make *you* happy! To feel good about putting in that work and effort to explain a stance.

Separating analysis and AU is good, telling people they're invited into the space is great- but curate your experience, dammit. We're all in this together. Separately. In our own little rooms under one roof. I shouldn't get up to use the bathroom and come back to find a warzone.

a little ramble about dreblr, meta, and the ever evolving nature of this fandom, i guess?

i don't mean to soapbox, this is mostly just going to be vomiting some thoughts into a post. some recent stuff and a post or two have had me thinking about this fandom and how different it is from when dsmp was ongoing. it's,, pretty obvious that the fandom is quite a bit smaller and less active than that time, and there are generally a lot fewer people actively posting meta and such every day--which isn't necessarily a bad thing, and is natural obviously considering that the dsmp ended almost 2 years ago, but does mean that the culture around (?) meta and such has shifted, as well. it's one of those things too i think that is felt so much more obviously in dreblr, which is an even smaller group within this fandom that formed in response to uhhh being very much considered unwelcome by the greater fandom at the time.

that being said, as is the nature of all fandom, dreblr is still a community of people who are largely strangers who have gathered together because of one commonality: very strong feelings and often very strong opinions on the dream smp and c!dream. and i think when the fandom was more active, the entire fandom felt a lot more like a "pvp enabled" zone, lmao -- it was every other day when there'd be some new batshit meta about c!dream or some stream to react to and analyze and fight people about and whatever. since then, though, with the dsmp gone, the fandom has become quieter -- which i think has allowed some of the variation in opinions within dreblr become more and more obvious? and also become a sort of source of friction.

again, this is normal for any fandom. i'm certainly not here to agree with everyone about c!dream always, lmao. but the vagueing of takes is always more awkward on both sides when it's someone where you share more of the same circles. at the end of the day, it's up to each individual blogger's discretion to choose what they will or won't post on their own blog, but at the same time ... when it comes to the community, just speaking for myself, i don't want a super high barrier of entry when it comes to people feeling like they can't join this fandom unless they've got [xyz] experience or [xyz] takes.

when it comes to actual analysis of the source material, though, keeping meta a safe place for people to say "no, i don't agree with this take because of [xyz]" is important as well, which always raises the question of how said disagreements should be handled. and again, i'm no authority, i'm not here to tell people what to do. personally, when it comes to my own blog, i don't like to post very much directly about any one blogger, but I know I've definitely written posts inspired by specific takes before as well as screenshots of takes from the fandom's heyday, etc. i don't necessarily feel uncomfortable with this ...? but at the same time, i know that vagueposts can be a source of discomfort, especially if they're about your take in particular (speaking from experience) -- so it's you know. not the easiest line to draw, I guess, especially when we're talking about a community where different people are going to have different levels of comfort with what they post on their own blogs and what other blogs do in response to their takes. and whatever.

vagueposting, i think, has been common in the tumblr dsmp fandom for a long time, and especially in dreblr -- direct engagement in the past errr usually went badly, so a habit formed of keeping everything we did kind of within our own spaces (hence why many of us don't even tag c!dream or even dreblr on most of our posts; keeping everything untagged, or keeping the tagging system restricted to our own blogs, limited the possibility of trouble). that being said, vagueing within dreblr has become more common, i think, as disagreements within dreblr have become more and more obvious in the time since the dsmp ended. (just for the obvious example: i think it's a bit of an open secret that i, personally, strongly disagree with much of the common depictions of c!drunz in this fandom. i've written some meta about this before, as well as some responses to meta--which i enjoyed greatly, believe me--but i've also noticed (perhaps coincidence) an uptick in c!drunz positive meta every time i or someone else makes a post that maybe skews more negative. which is normal, don't get me wrong, but also a pattern i've noticed. i'm also very aware that someone the arguments i may bring up as counterarguments or structure my posts around arguing against are based on actual arguments i've seen while in this space, which i'm aware is an easy source of friction within dreblr.) and it's easy to say "don't take it personally when it's just metaanalysis," but that's easier said than done, lmao, especially depending on the tone of the vaguepost and a myriad of other factors.

i'm not saying that i have the answers. or, for that matter, a single answer. the boundaries i set aren't going to be the same as the boundaries other people set, for one, and i have no desire to police what other people do on their own blogs. i do miss, sometimes, the more collaborative and discussion-based meta experience of this fandom when it was more active--i might try to more actively reblog posts (including those i don't necessarily agree with) to discuss this server and these characters, bc at the end of the day that is kind of why we're here. personally, i've always drawn a pretty sharp distinction between fanwork and analysis -- i think it's pretty bad form to criticize people's AUs In General (not that i've not. been guilty of it in the past, but i try at least to keep it to criticizing more general patterns within fanwork; look, i'm not going to claim a moral high ground, i love bitching way too much and should probably get a handle on that but asj;lkfdsaf) but when we're talking meta about the source material, barring shit like. you know, harassment and otherwise abusive behavior, i do consider it more of a free-for-all. at the same time, i know that these standards can lead to newer fans feeling like they're going to be booed out the door for sharing their thoughts, which, i mean, isn't great 😭😭😭 fresh eyes can bring a lot of really cool new insights, and it'd suck pretty damn bad to miss that because they don't feel welcome, yknow?

anyway, this is a very inconclusive post, but i thought i'd just throw some of my thoughts out as someone who has been here for a decently long time. and if you want to discuss w/ me, inbox and dms are always open :)

[batlingsstuff]

|| DREAM SMP HEADCANONS ||

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

hello! this is my first time doing headcanons, and i just want to clarify some things:

sadly, i won't be doing requests because i'm busy af with school and i dont want to dissapoint anyone, but you can drop some suggestions and i would think about it! it would be really nice :)

also i won't be writing romantic headcanons for minors or those who are uncomfortable with it, but i can do platonic headcanons for them! ^^

i won't be doing nsfw headcanons either, because i'm uncomfy with sexualizing real people and just writing nsfw in general :)

also, please tell me if someone is uncomfortable with fanfics and/or headcanons and i will erase that part as fast as possible, thanks for passing by! - batling

✦ means platonic

✦ characters : ranboo, tubbo, tommy, philza, techno and jschlatt

♥ means romantic

♥ characters: quackity, wilbur, nihachu, dream, george, sapnap, eret, karl, fundy and bbh

keywords:

(y/n) : your name

(n/n) : nickname

(p/p) : pizza place

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.” – John Green

┌────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────┐

SLEEPOVERS

---

GENDER NEUTRAL

└────── ⋆⋅✦⋅⋆ ──────┘

♥ Quackity

oh boy

i just have two words for this one: pure chaos

he will punch you with a pillow if you try to sleep

and you will be MAD at this

grabbing a pillow and hitting him RIGHT IN THE FACE with all your strenght

he'll probably fake cry about it, saying that you hurt him

after a while of pillow fighting, you guys got tired and plopped into the bed, snuggling into eachother and just enyoing the comfortable silence before drifting to sleep

♥ Wilbur

you two will probably blast hamilton and scream the lyrics till the neighbours wake up and you get angry knocks at your door

and you will laugh at that, lowering the speaker's volume and telling him to lower his voice aswell to avoid your neighbours calling the police

then you'll eat snacks and talk about anything that pops into your mind, laughing at the most silly jokes

he will sing sweet songs to you, making you fall asleep to his calming voice

summary: fluff

♥ Nihachu

you and her will bake pastries at a very late hour

she REALLY enjoys baking with you bc she thinks it's a great way to spend time with you

all this girl wants is to spend her time by your side, doing particularlly anything like streaming, baking, playing games and going outside for a walk and/or shopping

once you finished baking, she will kiss your cheek multiple times. that's her way to tell you that you did a great job :)

you'll spend the rest of the night cuddling, eating your pastries and watching some random movie, commenting about how bad it is and laughing

♥ Dream

bruh

this bitch will speedrun the sleepover

is it possible to speedrun a sleepover? maybe

you'll spend the rest of the night probably playing uncharted 3: drake's deception in his old ps3

after a while, you guys got bored from uncharted and went to his pc to play amnesia: the dark descent

there are 2 options:

you will be scared as fuck and will avoid looking at the screen when you think something bad will happen or when some body will come out from a drawer

or you will be totally chill with it, laughing hard when clay pisses his pants for real when he encounters the gatherer

you named the gatherer 'bob' :)

♥ George

he'll take you to the rooftop

and pushes you so you fall to your death

i mean

he gets blankets and pillows so you can stargaze together

he'll teach you the constelations while pointing them, excited about every single one of them

"look (y/n), that's the ursa major!"

he'll have hot chocolate prepared too, so you don't get cold while stargazing

you try your best to not fall asleep on the rooftop

but eventually fail

when he notices you're asleep, he stops talking about the constellations and carries you to your bedroom, giving you a goodnight kiss and leaving you in your bed so you can have a peaceful rest

♥ Sapnap

hey mamas

i don't know what sapnap will do in a sleepover so i will just improvise B)

you will watch anime together

not any kind of anime, like that romance-comedy bullcrap

no fuck that

you will watch the classy angsty anime like madoka magica

WATCH IT IF YOU HAVEN'T ALREADY

you will fucking cry because of literally anything that happens to the characters

"(y/n) why are you crying it's just a show"

'IT'S NOT ANY SHOW SAPNAP IT'S FUCKING MADOKA MAGICA OF COURSE I'M GOING TO CRY'

the last chapter made you fucking cry harder

AUTHOR HERE I WAS CRYING SO MUCH WHEN IT ENDED

yeah you will basically watch anime with him, cry about it and he will comfort you and bring you a glass of water so you don't have a terrible headache after it

I KNOW THIS HEADCANON SUCKED I'M SO SORRY

♥ Eret

KINGG <3

you two will plan a picnic in your yard

yes your yard

he'll bring a ton of snacks and you'll buy a few drinks

you two spend the rest of the picnic talking about your future and enjoying the snacks

then, he'll make you stand up and will teach you how to dance tango

and of course you will mess everything up

and you even stomped on his feet accidentally, making him wimper

but he brushed off the pain and laughed at your concerned face

after calming down his laughter, he gave you a passionate kiss and hugged you tightly

i love eret ok

♥ Karl Jacobs

this man.

this man is the definition of sweet

you'll spend the night cuddling and making cute pet names for eachother

he will definetely give you a great back massage if you're stressed

then he'll start writing love letters full of things he adore of you

and you'll do the same for him

after that, you will share your letters and just snuggle and smile at the sweet things you guys wrote for eachother

he will deffo shower you with kisses when he finishes reading your letter, telling you that you're the nicest person on earth

and that he loves you so so much

♥ Fundy

i'm a huge fundy simp ok

he will bring his piano to your house and you guys will compose a melody together

he will let you sit on his lap while you play the piano/keyboard with him

fundy will basically teach you how to play basic piano songs

you asked him if you guys could play megalovania together

he said no :(

but still you got to play nice songs together without messing up

and when you got the hang of it, he snuggled his face in your neck and kissed you there genly

and when you got tired, he started playing very calming songs and you fell asleep in his lap, snuggling into his chest

he gently carried to your room and will sleep beside you putting a fair distance so you can have a comfortable sleep!

♥ BadBoyHalo

bbh supremacy

he will get rat ready so you can snuggle with her too :)

you guys will mainly play with rat and talk about life in general

he will call you tons of cute pet names

ofc he will call you muffin it's bbh who we're talking about

he will talk about how bad he wants to spend the rest of his life with you

after a while, he will take you to his kitchen and start making muffins together

he will guide you on how to bake 'em though

you guys had a great time making muffins and cuddling with him and rat :)

══════ ∘◦❀◦∘ ══════

✦ Ranboo

tall mf gives the best piggy back rides

when he gets to your house there is a 100% chance he will bump his head on the door frame

and there is a 100% chance you will make fun of him because of that

"(y/n) please stop laughing my head hurts :("

you'll give him some ice to put on his head while you two play minecraft on your ps4

you will bring snacks too and ask him if his head is better

"yeah, thank you (n/n)"

he will pull you in a hug so you can be comfy together while you play good ol' minecraft

because ranboo surely doesn't play anything besides fucking minecraft

stfu that video of him playing spooky's jump scare mansion doesn't exist

✦ Tubbo

SWEET BE BOYY <3

he will gift you a bee plushie

expect a lot of (FRIENDLY) hugs from him

like fundy, you guys will play piano together

you guys are most likely to prank call some random numbers AND your friends

and you accidentally called some random pizza place

"hello! this is (p/p), may i take your order?"

you were nervous and didn't know what to say

UNTIL YOU CAME UP WITH A GREAT IDEA

"hello? are you there?"

'hi yes, i would like to order 7 extra large pepperoni pizzas to (tommy's adress).'

"oh- okay! uhm- they will arrive in a few hours. are you okay with that?"

'yes ma'am, thank you.'

when you ended the call, you couldn't help but burst out laughing, knowing that tommy will be so mad at you guys-

✦ Tommy

like quackity, PURE. CHAOS.

you guys will obviously stream your sleepover

doing a q&a stream :)

tubbo and wilbur will probably crash your stream and start spamming things like 'MEETUP??' and 'DIDN'T GET AN INVITE'

you guys laughed and added them to the call

"WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU GUYS INVITE ME?" wilbur shouted

'i'm sorry willlll'

you kept playing minecraft with wilbur, tubbo and quackity too since he crashed your stream like an hour later

after the stream, you got up and plopped on the mattress that was on the floor

"tired?"

'yeah'

"okay, good night big (initial)"

✦ Philza

POG

YEAHHH SLEEPOVER WITH THE MINECRAFT GOD

AND KRISTIN'S THERE TOO :)))

and oh god you ADORE kristin

i'm pretty sure she's a total sweetheart

it would be like having a sleepover with your parents

only that it's less boring

you guys will watch a movie together, you will be in one side of the couch eating snacks while phil and kristin are in the other cuddling

you'll eventually bug them about it

after the movie, you fell asleep early and philza noticed, talking to kristin about it too

and wrapped a blanket around you so that you get a good rest :)

✦ Technoblade

mr. blood god teaches you the arts of the CRAFT.

yeah i mean it's techno what else does he play besides minecraft

he will play bedwars w/ u, teaching you how to pvp

"bro you kinda suck tbh"

'stfu techno'

he will comment about how bad you are, but tries to help you get better anyways

and when you do a very poggers gamer move, he praises you

and when he praises you you're all :)))

after awhile, he gets tired from watching you play minecraft and suggest watching anime

fucking weeb

i mean

uh

other thing you guys do together in a sleepover is playing and commenting about pokemon

if you don't like pokemon get tf out of here /J

i was joking please don't leave i respect your tastes

✦ Jschlatt

ooooh boy

get ready for a session of wii training

that's all you guys will do

play wii sports and some other shit like wii music

he will laugh his ass of if you fall while playing wii fit

but he will eventually help you bc outside his funny and shouty persona, he's a really chill guy and a really nice person!

seriously like have you ever seen a theweeklyslap video?

well expect hearing amazing pep talks from him

bc this man is a legend and knows his way to words and is very good at comforting people :)

sometimes you'll rant to him about anything that's happening in your life, and he will listen to you and give you really helpful advice

and you appreciate him so much for that

✧─── ･ ｡ﾟ★: *.✦ .* :★. ───✧

TYSM FOR READING GUYS, i appreciate it if you made it this far :)

i hope you guys really enjoyed these headcanons, it's my first time doing them and aa i'm a bit nervous about posting this but i'll be fine ig

also i'm sorry if there's a grammatical error, english is not my native language and i'm still learning it :) have a nice day/night, drink water and don't fuck up your sleeping schedule!!

[honeypirate]

Can you do Benimaru x reader ?Hmm, the reader is training with him then she gets injured,and after taking care of her,he confessed to her ? sorry if this is too much,your writing is amazing ✨

OMG I loved this!! Thank you for sending it in!

I hope you like this!

Benimaru x fem!reader

(In this fic, if a third gen grows stronger it changes the eyes.(In the show the fifth pillar had her eyes changed when she got her ignition abilities, but I wanted to twist it) Other than that I have little idea of how the eyes change)

Little editing

Little swearing

Little drinking but reader is same age as Waka

In this moment you regretted asking your friend for training.

You had trained with him every day for the past four days, he was to help you strengthen your abilities so you could become a better third generation before sending you back to your company, the eighth.

What he was doing was annoying you and pissing you off. You would have hated him if he acted like this the whole time, outside of training he was sweet and funny, but damn, he could be tough. Sure you like it but it was almost the end of your training for the day, couldn't he see you were nearing your limit? Maybe you’re holding it together better than you thought.

Which was confirmed when the next words left his mouth “I know you can do better. I saw you do better yesterday in fact” his voice sent anger throughout your veins, you took a deep breath and closed your eyes for just a second, grounding yourself so you don't lash out at the annoying, ridiculous, strange, interesting handsome, sexy.... You grit your teeth and your eyes fly open, cutting off your thoughts as you tried to use your flames again. Come on, you think, i can push myself, just a little more

He was about to speak but you heard his mouth shut as you moved your arms out in front of you, feeling the flame in your veins travel down the inside of your arm and around your wrist, flowing down each finger to the tip before swirling down and pooling in your palms. You tighten the circle of bright warmth, growing smaller and smaller, until you begin to make your own version of a sun wheel. You twist your hands, the fire staying in the air as you make a circle, when you connect the ends together it erupts into tiny explosions of stars that twist around each other.

He'd be lying if he said he wasn’t impressed with this display. He watched as you sent your attack forward, the strongest he’s witnessed from you. “Now do it again” he says and you turn to speak your mind but he takes one look at your face and hops down from the porch and quickly comes toward you, causing you to take a step back and tense your stance

“your eyes have changed. You are getting stronger” you can't look away from his eyes even if you wanted to, the anger you had felt for him had dissipated with his proximity. “What do you mean? What do they look like?” he points to your left “that one, is like mine, an X, except green. Your other is green with a pink heart” you hum softly, your cheeks flushing under his intense gaze, he leans down and your breath hitches, until he whispers “now do it again”

you feel your annoyance and your anger boil in your veins again as you huff, turning towards the training ground. You gather all your annoyance and anger, the last energy you had, sending it all to your palms as you feel the familiar swirl of flame and as you make your circle. Your hands shake, your breathing hard pants as the oxygen doesn’t come. You feel your flames sputter and when your circle connects the ends,, the stars that erupt fly back at your fingertips making you scream out as the flame turns to smoke.

You cradle your hands to your chest as he appears next to you “let me see” he commands, his voice strained with worry. You slowly hold out your hands, the tips of your fingers smoking and the skin singed in a few places on almost every finger. “Come with me” he says through his teeth and you can’t tell if he is mad at you. You nod and follow him into the guard house, your fingers leaving smoke behind you with every step, chewing your lip in worry.

He takes you into the medical room and gestures for you to kneel with him. He holds out his hand and you sigh as you hold them out in front of you, the sunlight through the window hitting them and illuminating the several black dots that are still smoking.

He doesn’t say anything while he cleans up your hands, his eyebrows furrowed. “I’m sorry” you whisper “I messed up” he shakes his head to the side once but doesn’t speak until he’s done bandaging your hands. The only sound being your hiss of breath every time his gentle fingers brush a healing ointment over your wounds or the touch of bandages.

“You’ll be okay, just overheated and you should heal up fine.” His voice is gruff and he won’t look you in the eye “I'm so sorry. I pushed you too hard. I didn’t mean for you to get hurt. I should have known. I should have seen the signs. I can’t believe I made you hurt your beautiful hands. I’m so sorry” his voice cracks in the last word and you reach out, but he stands quickly and leaves you in the middle of the room.

A few hours later you try to catch his eye during dinner but he avoids you, talking to Konro beside him and not even facing your direction. You give up trying to talk to him and fill your glass with wine, downing it and then grabbing the bottle and leaving the table quietly. Your heart is too sad to even stay there, trying to talk to the man you had started to get feelings for but having him avoid you was terrible, it felt like it was your heart he was cutting up on his plate.

“What are you doing Waka?” Konro asks with a sigh, watching you leave the room with the bottle clutched to your chest, your hands not touching it all. “What do you mean?” he asks and takes a bite, hoping the food will sate some of the acid currently burning his stomach. “I mean, you’re avoiding her, and she's been trying to get you to look at her all evening. What did you do and why are you avoiding her?”

Benimaru sighs, looking around the nearly empty room before turning towards Konro “I pushed her too hard. She hurt herself. It was my fault and I can't seem to bear looking at her knowing I am the one who hurt her” Konro furrows his eyebrows “have you asked her how she feels? Have you talked to her at all? ” Benimaru looks at his hands “I uh..“ Konro nods “Waka, stop acting like a child. She’s a grown woman, treat her like one.” his eyes widen before he stands and leaves the table. Konro was right, he was acting like a child, he needed to treat you like the strong woman he knows you are, and be the man he is and talk to you.

You find your way back to the medical room, grabbing some more bandages and then making your way up to the roof. You sigh as you sit at the edge of the roof, dangling your feet over the edge. You unwrap your hands, the semi-dirty bandages unraveling from your fingers, and wince when the cool air touches your burns. Pulling out the roll of gauze you start to redress your fingers, but they shake too much to do it properly.

“Damn” you whisper as the gauze falls from your fingers for the upteenth time, this time falling from the roof all together. Your fingers just didn't want to cooperate with you, so you sighed again, the heaviness in your heart growing as you turn your attention to the sky, the moon full and bright; unlike your heart.

“You dropped something” you laugh in jest “I've dropped a lot of things recently Waka, the ball, my goddamn heart, that one wasn’t on purpose though. Kinda blindsided me actually” you ramble, taking a drink from the bottle as he sits next to you, your hand throbbing against the cool glass.

He takes the bottle from you and takes a drink before setting it farther behind him so it wont roll off the roof. He holds his hand out towards you and you sigh before shoving your wrist against his palm, your fingers shaking as you avoid his eye contact.

“I meant the gauze” he says and you chuckle dryly, a embarrassed about your outburst as you mutter “oops.” His hands shake slightly as he wraps your fingers, but they were as gentle as they were before. The cover of the bandages feels better against your burns, no exposed sensitive skin. He brings your hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to your palm that sobers you up (you had like 2 glasses so you wouldn't even be drunk or even too buzzed by now, a long time has gone by and you ate a big dinner) he places your hand down against his thigh and holds out his hand for your other, which you place much gentler against his palm this time.

When he finishes he places another soft kiss to your fingers and you move your hand up to his cheek tilting his face up so he looks you in the eye “Benimaru. I don’t blame you. Sure you did push me, but I was too angry, I should have realized I went too far already. You know I like a little tough love to push me so I get stronger” You watch the corners of his mouth twitch into an almost smile as his eyes flick between both of yours

“Thank you,” you whispered, your hand still resting against his cheek, your bandages tickling his skin “thank you for patching me up. For taking care of me still.” you close your eyes and lean your head against his shoulder “Please don't avoid me anymore” your voice was sad and it made his heart crack. He stares into the sky for a few seconds, putting his thoughts in order, before he reaches out, one hand around your waist and the other on the back of your head as he pulls you up into his embrace and moves you both a little farther from the edge of the roof.

“Don’t go back to the eighth. Stay in the seventh.” he whispers, “I want you to stay” his cheek was against the top of your head as he held you gently to his chest,. “What.. like just as a subordinate who works with you?” He chuckles and it shakes you gently, “no, not just a subordinate.I dont usually hold my subordinates like this and I don't gain feelings for them. You have never been a subordinate to me. You’re intriguing to me. Captivating.” your heart beats races, your cheeks feeling warm as your spine tingles excitedly.

“I’m sorry for avoiding you. Konro talked some sense into me. I need you to know that I really adore you. I don’t want you to leave. I have been dreading the end of this week” you pull back and kiss his cheek softly before you part from his embrace so you could look in his eyes “I’ve been dreading leaving you.” your voice was as quiet as his, the only one listening was the moon and stars above, “You’re strong, you have a good heart, and when you’re not pushing me with training,” you smile when he chuckles “you make me laugh, and you make me happy” your cheeks are flushed from your expressions of feelings and from his soft gaze. “Can I stay with you?”

He leans forward, kissing the blush on both of your cheeks. “Please” he says, his voice sending tingles down your spine before his lips connect with yours for the first time. Your eyes flutter closed as his soft lips touch yours, stars bursting behind your eyelids as your hands rest against his neck. When he pulls back the cool air sends a shiver down your spine and he smiles “we should go inside, it’s getting late and cold.” He runs his fingers softly through your hair “Plus we should talk to Obi tomorrow since you’re going to stay”

[depressedhatakekakashi]

!! I know it's team minato week so pls its all cool if you dont want to answer this just yet but i might forget by then so- i had an angst madara and hotaru thought in the immediate aftermath of her death, where madara has to carry hotaru's body home to her clan, her family sobbing and reaching out for her but for a moment he couldn't let go, wanted to insist on taking his friend to the medic even though her heart stopped many hours before.

Then, Just a few very long months into the aftermath when he started spiralling down into deeper insanity, some members of Hotaru's family come visit him, trying in vain to find out what's wrong "I can still see it- just as clearly as when it happened, i never opened my sharingan even once so why-"

uchiha's having the curse of love instead and the downfall that can lead to is so fascinating, even the usage of the sharingan isn't quite what fully seals their fate (though its definitely not doing any help to lessen the trauma), but simply that they themselves are not able to in any way deal with a loved ones death in a particularly 'healthy' manner (especially if that death was pretty brutal and/or happened in front of them) they could still find happiness, could still heal even. but they can't ever "move on", it will continue to haunt them into their own death. doesn't matter if their sharingan wasn't activated or if they ever awakened it at all :D !!

I haven’t done anything for team Minato week unfortunately anyways. Been too busy with everything else and had no ideas that stuck out with me.

But Madara remembering Hotaru’s death clear as day, even though he never saw her with his sharingan activated.

The paaaaain

It haunts him in his dreams

Her face appears in front of him at random times, forcing him to relive that terrible moment all over again

No matter how much anyone tries to help him it doesn’t work. He’s broken and angry and pulling away because of it all.

Hashirama is trying even more than ever to support him, but one some level Madara blames him. He’s the one the village ‘trusted’ to be Hokage

He’s the one who gives out missions

He’s the reason Hotaru was there at all. The reason she died

It’s a break between them. A moment of Hashirama seeing his best friend moving away from him and not being able to do anything about it

[zmayadw]

Evening to all :)

Allright, so after two days of terrible headache, one sleepless night, lots and lots of coffee, and constant tweeks of what I already had written, its time to continue with the story. Lets have some fun at the Aurora :)

Wish you all a nice evening :)

CALL OF THE RAVEN

PART 8

We left the restauran and drove to Aurora. It was saturday night, but the bar wasnt that much filled with people yet. The Aurora was like most of the bars : booths wer on each side, tables towards the middle, but still leaving enough room for people to dance. The bar was on the opposite from the entrance with barstools arround it, a smaller stage and karaoke machine on the left, basement/storage entrance on the right, with big TV above it. Since Jessy's brother Phil was the owner of Aurora, we had a booth waitng for us. We settled at our booth, and i got up to get us drinks, since they refused to let me chip in for the dinner. Dan decided its still too early for whiskey, but emphasised that at some point in the evening we're having it. Jessy just groaned at that, and i chuckled going to the bar ordering us beers. As i was waitig, a guy appeared behind the bar „Put this on the house, Dave. Cant let her pay for her first drink here.“  As i turned ,he winked at me, setteling down a box with bottles on the counter. „Hello, Phil.“ I smiled at him „And thansk for the drinks.“ He extended his hand towards me, and i did the same. He took it, moved it towards his lips, giving me one of those cavalier kiss on it „Hello, Maya, nice to finaly meet you.“ I felt a little heat coming to my cheeks. Phil really was a charmer, as i was told, especially from Jessy, but i must admit he wasnt bad looking. He had a long brown hair, mostly worn in a tail. His eyes wer dark brown, and he was tall and muscaline. He was wearing a white shirt with the Aurora written on it, wich just made his tattoos more noticable. I was a sucker for tattoos. „Do all girls get such a charming 'hello' from you here?“ i asked teasingly. He grinned devilishly „Just the special ones.“ „I got warned about you, trying to sweet talk me.“ I grinned back.  „Can you blame me? I'm a sucker for a beautifull woman.“ I felt even more heat coming to my cheeks, and was greatfull the light wernt that bright, so noone would notice, especialy Phil. It felt good, being flirted like this, but i didnt want to give Phil any wrong ideas. I knew from Jessy that he was interested in me, and to be honest, if Jake was out of the picture, it might be different. „Thanks for the compliment! But, i have to warn you, i might not be a good choice.“ I said, making a serious face, leaning a bit closer towards him over the bar, wich made him do the same. „I was told i was reckles and out of control, kinda hard to handle, stressing people too much.“ He looked at me, that devilish spark in his eyes intensifieing „Well, Maya, maybe you just havent met your match..yet.“ „Maybe.“ I replied, leaning back, smile forming at the corner of my mouth. We just stared at eachother like that for a while, Phils gaze intensifing with each moment. I felt my heart starting to beat faster, and i was really confused about it. What was happening here? Ok, Phil was good looking, but Jake was the one i was longing for. Wasnt he? „Well, as much as i'm enjoying talking to you, i better get those beers over to my friends.“ He glanced towards our booth „You just might need some more beer.“ I turned to see what was it that he refered to, and saw the whole gang showed up while we wer talking. Including Jake. I was glad to see him, i didnt really think this was a place he would feel comfortable being at, but i supposed Hannah made him come. I heard from Jessy they wer spending much time together, the three of them, wich wasnt to be unexpected. He was their halfbrother after all, they wanted to get to know eacother better. And Hannah made him stay at her appartment since he came to Duskwood.  And then i noticed Jake staring, but it wasnt me he was staring at, but Phil. Oh boy, i tought, can my life be simple for just one evening. I turned to Phil, sighing „I guess your right.“ I took the beers, slowely moving from the bar, walking backwards. „Oh, and i have a feeling i might need something stronger soon, so keep a glass close for me.“ I said skeptical, but Phil just grined and winked „I'll be right here with that glass ready.“

As i neared the booth, putting on my best smile, they all stood up cheering. I settled the beers on the table, Hannah embracing me in a tight hug, with Thomas grining behind her. „Its so good to finaly do this.“ She said. „Its good to see you , Hannah.“ I said, hugging her back. Hannah let go of me, and now it was Cleo's turn. „Dont you scare us like that anymore, you hear me!“ she scolded me before smiling „I promise.“ She let go of me, and they all sat back. I grabbe myself a chair from the table near us, since the booth was full now. As i sat down, i glanced at Jake. He smiled and nooded at me, and i smiled back. Lily was just siting there, barely sparing me a look. I tried not to take it too personal, from the begining she wasnt that much fond of me, and the feeling is mutual. „So, how are you feeling?“ Hannah asked me. „Oh, im much better, thanks for asking. Few more days and i'll be back to my old self.“ I told her, as a waiter, Dave , came to our booth, bringing five more beers. I turned towards the bar. Phil just winked at me, and continued about his business. I noticed Jake saw that also, his body tensing a bit. „Thats good to hear.“ Hannah siad, and Dan chimed in „I'll drink to that!“ raising his glass towards me. I got my glass and added cheerfuly to him „Me too!“ Now Lily finaly spoke „Good thing it ended as it did, we could all be drinking our sorrow instead.“ I tensed at her words, a bit of rage forming in me, but Hannah jumped in before i could say anything. „Lily, stop it. We are all aware of how things might ended, no need to emphasising it anymore.“ She sounded tired saying it, i got a feeling this wasnt the first time the two of them had a similar conversation. „Im sorry, Hannah“ Lily continued „but you know how i feel. Maya's actions could have terrible consequencess, and i dont see what is there to celebrate.“ ��How about me being here, Lily? Is that good enough reason for you?“ Hannah asked, but Lily just sat there silently. I couldnt be quiet anymore. „Im sorry you feel that way Lily.“ I started. „I expected you to be more happy now that Hannah is back. Yes, i made some mistakes, i know. But we all do mistakes, Lily, you should know it all too well.“ She shot me such a angry look when i said it. It wasnt my intention to start a fight with her or anything, i knew all too well how badly all of it could have ended, but i was also tired of it being dragged out constantly. „My sister could have died!“ Lily basicly screamed, wich made few people arround us turn to see what was happening. „Lily, enough!“ Hannah started, but i really had enough, and my head started to hurt a bit now. „Your sister could have died eitherway, Lily“ i said basicly hissing at her „No matter what i might have or might have not done. At least i had the guts to act, and would do the same all over again if i had to, gladly. Luckily, things turned out for the better. You should be happy about it, and stop dwelling on the 'what if's'. If you cant do that, to just be happy you got your sister back, then for fuck sake i dont know what more to say to you.“ As i finished, you could feel the tension gathering around. „Sorry all, but i need something stronger to drink.“ I stood up going for the bar.

Phil came as i sat on one of the stools, rasing his eyebrow  „My, my, you wernt wrong about needing that drink. So, whats your poison?“ he asked me grining. „Oh, whatever you grab first, as long as it washes the bitternes out.“ I said, feeling that rage not setteling, and my head throbing some more. He grabbed two shot glasses, pouring both with whiskey. „Dont mind if i join you.“ He said, rising one of the glasses. I grinned, taking my glass knocking it at his „Its no fun drinking alone, anyway!“ „Bottoms up!“ he chimed, and we exed our gasses. „One more, please, the bitter taste is still not washed completly.“  „Comming right up!“ he said cheerfuly, filled both again, and we drank those too. Someone patted me on my shoulder, and i turned to see Dan standing next to me. „Aww, Maya, you started without me.“ He said, being dramatic and acting hurt. „Aww, sorry Dan“ i said making a sad face „You cant really blame me, after all that just happened back there.“ „Point taken“ he said, sitting next to me. I turned towards the booth. Jessy, Cleo, Thomas and Hannah wer still there. I could see they didnt seem much affected by any of what just happened. But Lily was gone. And so was Jake. Great, i tought. The night began so nicely, i guess it was too good to last. „Well, Dan, feel free to join us now. The more, the merrier.“ I turned to Phil. „Barkeep, antoher glass for my 'nonjudgemental' friend here, please.“ Phil grinned, taking one more glass and filling them all again „The lady commands, the lady gets!“ Now the three of us chinned our glasses, and drank up. „Phil, i think you and I will be very good friends.“ I started „Since i assume you are not theirs most likable person of all time.“ i waved my hand towards the booth. „And i suppose as of now, i might join that club, too.“ Phil looked at me, a bit sirious  „I told you once before, Maya. Everyone gets the exactly right ammount of respect from me as deserved. I dont bother with the tought if im 'likable' to someone or not. You dont mess with me, and i dont mess with you, its simple as that.“ „Amen to that!“ It was Dan, and both Phil and me looked at him, not really expecting it. I started laughing so hard „Oh, Dan, thanks, i needed this.“ „What?“ Dan looked at me, question marks written all over his face. Phil just shook his head, lowering it down, hiding himself smiling too, filling our glasses again, and drinking his up. „If you two would excuse me, i actually have some work to do.“ He winked at me as he left. „Be careful Maya, Phil is a player.“ Dan told me a bit serious. „Dont worry, Dan, i'm a big girl, i can take care of myself. So, tell me, how much am i hated at the moment amongst the others?“ i asked him. „Dont worry, Maya, nobody hates you, trust me. But you gotta understand Lily. She really was scared for Hannah, and she tought she was doing her best.“ He paused for a while before adding  „Just like you did.“ I looked at Dan, and tought 'shit, he has a point there'. „Ah, crap, Dan, why you have to be so 'smartypants' all of a sudden?!“ He chuckled at me „Look, both of you did what you did, and it ended how it did. Even if you dont see it, you both expected the same result. Just your ways of trying to acomplish it wer totaly different. And thats where all hell broke loose.“ I knew Dan was right, but i tought Lily would be at least a bit happier for having Hannah back, and not to be all bitchy about it, clinging so tightly on all the things that could go wrong. „All right, enough with this serious talk. I tought we came here to drink.“ I started, but added quickly so Dan dont feel me being ungrateful „But, thanks Dan. I understand what you wanted to say to me. I will keep it in mind,  for the next time.“ Dan smiled and noded at me. I took a sip of my whiskey, when there was another tap on my shoulder. It was Hannah „Hey, just wanted to say we're leaving. It was really nice seeing you, we should definatly do this again.“ She said, adding „When things cool down a bit.“ She gave me an appologetic look, „Yeah, definatly! And it was really nice seeing you two, Hannah.“ She hugged me „And dont take Lily by the heart, please. I know she can overreact sometimes, but she means well.“ „Dont worry, Hannah,  i understand, its all good. Hope i wasnt too forward myself.“ Now i looked at her appologeticly. „Everything is good.“ She smiled „Take care, Maya, see you later.“ „Laters you two.“ I waved at Hannah and Thomas as they left. Cleao and Jessy joined us at the bar. „Uhh, that was fun.“ Cleo said. „Indeed. Not really my definition of a 'fun night' i expected.“ „Dont worry, Maya. Lily is just a hard person sometimes, a bit overprotective, too. She will calm down, eventualy.“ Cleo told me, to wich I replied a bit skeptical „ So everyone tells me.“ Phil came to us, taking two new glasses „C'mon you sad lot, enough with it. I tought we wer celebrating a 'new girl in town'!“ he said cheerfuly, winking at me, filling all the glasses up, handing one for Jessy and Cleo. Jessy groaned at it, scolding Phil „Ohh, dont encourage this two, Phil“ she said, pointing at Dan and me „I'm the one who will have to endure them for the rest of our evening, with all that whiskey in them. And we all know Dan and whiskey doesnt end well.“ „Hey babe, dont be like that!“ Dan said to her, in that dramatical and hurt way he does, making Cleo and me laugh. „See, it already started.“ Jessy said, leaning her elbovs on the bar, sighing sadly, now she trying to be dramatic. „Awwww babe, i promise i'll behave.“ Dan said, pecking her on the cheek. „You better behave..remember, im the one you're going home with.“ She told him, giving him one of her serious looks. Phil was just taking a sip of his drink, and hearing Jessy say it laughed so hard that he spat his drink out. Cleo and me laughed with him, but Dan looked at Jessy all pale„Yes, ma'am!“. I took my glass, raising it „Last one? Then we get beer again.“ Jessy looked at me „Deal!“, the rest of them taking their glasses and we drank. „That's it for me“ Cleo said „I'll be going now. Have to be early at the Gates of Hope tomorrow. And you all know how my mother can be if its not her way.“ She said shuddering a bit at it. „Ohh, we dont want to get Miranda cross at you, or any of us.“ Jessy said, giving Cleo a look of symphaty. Cleo hugged me „It was nice seeing you, Maya. We should definatly do this again, soon. And i promise i wont leave so early next time.“ „No worrys, Cleo, thanks for coming anyway.“ I said, smiling back at her. She waved us goodby and left. We ordered some beer then, as i promised Jessy no more whiskey. „Sorry, Maya, i really didnt think this will go so badly.“ Jessy looked at me appologeticaly. „Oh, dont sweat it, Jessy“ i grinned at her „Im having more fun with just the two of you, anyway.“ She grinned back, when Phil looked at me, making a sad face, mimicing Dan's hurt gesture „Awww, and what about me, i dont belong in this 'fun club'?“ I looked at him and winked „We have our special 'secret club', remember?“ That made Jessy switch her look from Phil too me, all puzzled, but Phil just grined devilishly at me, winking „We sure do.“ Jessy turned to Phil now, making a serious face, waving her finger at him „Phil, you better behave! Maya is not a 'toy' to play with and throw away after it.“ I jumped in, before Phil could say anything „Oh, dont worry, Jessy. Phil was nothing but a gentelmen towards me.“ Phil grined at her, makeing an aureola sign above his head with his hands, sugesting him being an angel. Jessy just snorted „Yeah, yeah, more like a 'devil in disguise'.“ „Im not sure who's the 'devil in disguise' here actualy.“ Phil said looking at me intensely, my cheeks flushing again.

[theravencawsatmidnight]

Pink Chains

Pt 3

Kyotani owns a grunge /punk apparel shop after leaving the Sendai Frogs after a incident with the Black Jackals. He designs his own clothes and hires Oikawa & Iwaizumi as his employees. Everything goes smoothly for awhile, till you walk in; pink dress, big smile , and bubbly personality. His whole life stops in that moment. 

Punk! Kyotani x Bubbly! F! Reader. ❤️

Kyo had walked you to school after the both of you had calmed down. He hated seeing you cry jesus christ, it hurt him to his core. All he could think about was those tears running down your pretty face down to your fake smile. He was really falling for you, this was a first for him so he had no idea if what he had been doing was right or what.

You skipped ahead of him, he glanced up a couple times and got a big smile on his face. You had on a blue dress with flats and his jacket on, it was too big for you of course but you insisted on wearing it. And that's when he knew he was doing it right. Seeing you in his clothes and having that big smile on your face that was just for him.

“Kyooo!!! I gotta go!”

He shook his head walking to you and putting his arms around your shoulders. “Do you? Skip sweetie.” He teased looking over you to see people staring.

“Kyo!” You gave him an angry face and he just laughed kissing your head. “I'll turn you into a rule breaker yet. Have a good day sweetie.”

“Not uh!” You squeezed him tightly for a minute. “Dont sweat this morning kay?!? I can fight with you, are you working today?”

Your words cut him deep, sure his friends had his back but this was .. different. You were willing to defend him from anything . Hopefully you never had to do that. He ran his fingers through your head and swayed a bit whispering in your ear. “People are staring,”

You giggled just squeezing him more and Kyo smirked , he placed a light smack on your thigh stepping back chuckling at the little yip you did .

“Kyo!”

“Yeah sweetie i work today but im closing early, beach volleyball with friends . Ill text you when i close up shop okay?”

“You better!!” You placed a kiss on his chest and ran off into the school looking back and waving before disappearing.

Kyo waited till you were in the school before leaving. He shot everyone a smug ass grin too as he made his way down the street. Fuck his car was still at the store.

Kyo was not in any rush to get to work. Hell it was his store whos gonna rage at him? No one . Hes the boss. And besides Iwaizumi is most likely there already opening up the store anyway. The heavy rings on his right hand clicked all around while he made his way down the boardwalk strip , hands in his pockets while he eyed all the shops.

Buncha no good stores. If it didn't cost so much to get his brand up and running he could have a bigger building , or at least a better location-… he stopped walking and shook his head. “That's a terrible idea. Kyotani cmon get it together.” He sighed, rubbing his sleeve. “I would never had met her..”

Bbbbbbeeep

“Mad Dog chaaaaaaan!!!!” A car zoomed up to him skidding to a stop . Oikawa peaked out the window grinning.

**

Meanwhile, you were just getting into the first class of the day. Everyone was sneaking looks at you because of the jacket but you had no idea. You were too caught up on last night to really pay attention. Trying to take your mind off it you pulled a red notebook from your bag to doodle while listening to the teacher.

Soon enough the blank notebook page was full of design ideas; red pandas with hats , clothes and big fluffy tails. The designs were really cute , your teacher even complimented them from time to time . But you really just wanted a brand to pick you up, graduation was soon and you did not want to not have a job lined up.

“Y/n.. hey y/n”

A voice next to you alerted you to look up and over to see Kio, the girl who sat next to you in class.

“Oh hey Kio, whats up?!?”

Kio placed her hand on her head with her elbow on the table looking you over in this jacket. She never really talked to you unless she needed notes and was only taking this class for the credit she needed .

“That jacket is so different from what you wear y/n. Where'd ya get it?”

You were about to answer her but heard a snicker behind you , must be Yukio, Kios friend, also in need of credits for graduation. Would probably be best not to mention the store, Kyo did not need the harassment.

“Its my boyfriend's jacket!” You told them pulling it close with a big smile on your face.

Kio and Yukio locked eyes then looked at you .

“Boyfriend?” Kio asked.

“Looks like he has the opposite style as you y/n.” Yukio chimed in , leaning over her table. “Was he that guy with you this morning?”

“Yep!!!”

“He looks.. familiar..” Kio said tapping her pen on his lips.

“He does huh?” Yukio said leaning closer. “Whats his name hm?”

“..Kyo?” You were starting to get uncomfortable with all the questions.

“Oh!!!” Yuki yipped looking at Kio. “Kyotani! The Sendai Frogs!!!”

“..the Frogs? So hes..” Kio shot you a look. “He beat up Bokuto. For no goddamn reason.”

You shuffled around in your seat sneaking glances at the clock hoping it would somehow speed up so you could leave. It was not their business to know the reason behind it. Kyo was a very sweet guy , you had only known him a day but in those hours together you had never been happier; he opened up to you, cried even. Kyotani genuinely feels bad about that incident. He helped you through the tattoo instead of getting upset and brought you around his friend. The smirky smile he threw you always gave you butterflies in your stomach and sent your heart a flutter. He was just a misunderstood guy trying to start over with his friends.

You pulled the jacket off as soon as you heard the sweet sound of the bell and gathered up your bag standing up with the jacket over your arm close to your heart.

“Where do you think youre goin?” Kio got up following you out of the classroom along with Yukio. “Were not done y/n.”

Yukio grabbed your bag yanking it back and You spun around with a big smile and a sweet but slightly angry voice. “Kyo is a good guy and i really like him. I don't care if you two don't. You dont know the whole story either. And please stop following me, its not nice.” You waved at them so they could see your tattoo and you left in a quick pace down the hall . You pulled your phone from your bag texting with shaky hands.

**

Oikawa had dropped Kyo off at his store so he could drive home to shower and change and then go back to start his shift. He was tired and thankful no one could tell he had been crying the night before. Iwaizumi probably knew but he did not say anything, not with Oikawa around.

Kyo had on his shops uniform shirt which was a red dog house on a black shirt that said The Dog House on the back wrapped in chains. The summer line was selling smoothly and Mattsun had let him know that Yahaba agreed to come to the beach volleyball . He helped Iwaizumi unload a shipment while Oikawa was manning the front .

“So how'd it go last night?” He asked, passing Kyo a box.

“I told her .. everything.” The box was set down

“Oh ..? You? You did? What she say?” Iwa got another box groaning from its weight and giving it to Kyo

“Fucking hell.. would it kill them to pack the boots in all the boxes.. she said she was not scared of me. Dammit Iwaizumi she said she would fight with me.” He set the box down cursing .

“Fuck.. Kyotani.” Iwaizumi closed the truck up patting the back watching it drive off. “I know you've only just met her but she seems- Kyo?” He looked at his friend and he was staring at his phone , he looked like he was going to punch something .

Y/n: Kyo.. these girls in my class asked me about my jacket so i said it's my boyfriends and they asked your name cuz you look familiar and I told them and they .. brought up the Incident .

Y/N: i uhm, i did not say anything else but they were upset cuz they like Bokuto i guess but.. i left and they followed me and.. yanked me back. I .

Y/n: i was tough like you would be and asked them to leave me alone and i left. But.. uhm.. can.. can you call me when you can please..

“Iwaizumi...”

“You dont gotta say it. I can watch the front for a minute. “ he put his hand in Kyotanis arm watching his friend huff and puff . “Relax. Take a deep breath. “ Iwaizumi left his friend and Kyotani sat down on a box outside looking at the clouds in the sky with his phone to his ear.

“Kyo…” you sounded shaky and panicked

“Sweetie. Take a deep breath.” He was surprisingly calm sounding. He wanted to explode on the inside though, march right back to that school and take you into his arms and scare the hell out of those girls..He heard you breath in and out a few times till it evened out.

“Alright. Where are you right now Sweetie?”

“The.. outside.. courtyard..”

“Is it pretty there? Tell me what you see.” He leaned back on a box with his back to his shop. He brought one knee up tracing his index finger around in one of the holes in his jeans tugging at the strings making it bigger.

“Uhm… magnolias.. an oak tree.. some students are studying. It is pretty..”

“Sweetie..”

“Yes..?”

“Everything is okay now. Okay?”

“I.. yeah.. I tried to be tough but..i don't know. I said your a good guy cuz you are and I asked them to leave me alone.”

He ripped a few strings in the hole maging it even bigger over his knee. “Do you want me to pick you up after school?”

“Yeah.. i .. i just.”

“Ill be there sweetie.” He suddenly got an idea. “Promise. Now hows my happy girls day going now?”

He heard you giggle and the both of you relaxed slowly while you talked on the phone. You told him about your classes and the doodles you did too and Kyo asked you to send him them, he did not say why though.

“I gotta go sweetie. Ill be out front okay?”

“Kay.. have a good day Kyo.”

“You too Sweetie.” He hung up the phone and got up feeling the fire in him grow again.

After moving the boxes in he went to the front pulling Kawa and Iwa aside to the register explaining what happened. They were both upset over what they heard. Kyotani smirked texting Mattsun then looking at his friends.

“So after beach volleyball you know what we gotta do right?”

“Ou im excitedddd.” Kawa said with a big smile

“I gotta say im excited too.” Iwa said smirking and leaning on the register . “Im sure Mattsun is eager too.”

Kyo looked down reading the text with a side smirk. “Fuck with my girl and see what happens…”

**

@squeaky-ducky @zoppzoop

@haikyuu-but-low-iq @mochababes @kozushiki. @milkbreadcat @derpeedoo

*

[kendrixtermina]

Things I admire about other enneagram types (from a 5 perspective)

6: You have this switch you can throw where you can just act confident in dire situations. I know from what you tell me it feels awful on the inside but it’s still useful. I can’t do that unless I’m actually confident about something. Some of you also have excellent BS detectors & think of checking things that wouldn’t occur to me. ive learned so much from you guys im jully that your ideas are so much more practical on average

3: You somehow bring the joys of practical problem solving approach into the social/interpersonal realm & somehow solve things that I wouldn’t consider solveable. There’s something rly valuable to being ‘a positive realist’.

8: How are you so concise? You’re so good at saying things in a clear, impactful manner! (compared to us rambly head types at least)

It’s a somewhat rare type & I don’t know many people, so I don’t know anyone IRL in depht, but at least for the more self-aware examples, many that I’ve seen in internet videos etc. also strike me as pretty likeable, especially in that straightforwardness & the way they admit to their stuff and like... actually say things out loud that’s just instantly interesting. 

1: Some 1s are not chill, but the ones that are are very chill indeed. Very impressive. The cool & unique thing about your way of thinking is how you’re objective but positivistic (without an overly positive focus) - my way of thinking is more negativistic, I see holes, things that are not there etc. novel visions happen but it’s hard to synthethize them on purpose. You guys tho? You see what IS there & concrete visions for what can be done to fix stuff. 

Something that I find fascinating is how we’re both running optimization algorithms but yours is maximizing (looking for the most results for a fixed expense)  while mine is minimizing. (looking to get a fixed results with least uneccesary variables)

7: So many cool ideas! Actually way more competent & dilligent than ppl assume especially if older & wiser. Ppl underappreciate how much this is very much a mental type. Please, do keep talking interesting stuff to me im listening * big shiny owl eyes *

 Also have the advantage of usually having tons of other friends to have fun with when I don’t feel like extroverting right now so i dont feel so bad if i cant make it all the time. 

9: Maybe you think ppl don’t want to hear about your vast imagination but I for once think it’s super cool. No pressure to share though, not making a big deal about it just makes you mysterious. When you do tell me your thoughts, i can rest assured in the knowledge that im a special level 10 friend. ^-^

Also you can be so likeable & funny & ppl really listen to you? Like I’ve noticed myself that sometimes I’d be all angry & worked up into some complicated idea about why I’m right and the other person is terrible,  and then this 9 dude who’d just been listening on the sidelines so far would say something super disarming that just cut through all my BS rationalisations, and soon after there was just no more argument & I really changed my actions long-term??  

4: Ppl don’t sufficiently appreciate how badass you can be, esp when you know what you want

Over the years I had several 4 friends who were just, like, me but cooler, if I had the energy & comitment for this sort of consummate defiance against The Machine every day. One had picked up some old mannequins & made a decoration for her room out of it & that was such a power move? & she knew all these obscure art films... I wish I’d stayed in touch with them more.  

2: i would prolly write more here if i knew more 2s in-depht; Even so I must commend how you notice & remember so much stuff about ppl? 

For all that I think that conventions like social obligations gifts & holidays are often forced BS, I’m impressed with how much love you can put into that. It doesn’t feel like BS coming from you. 

5: Now I don’t know that many in-depht, but from my own, possibly biased PoV I’ve perceived the few other ones I’ve actually got to know as refreshingly uncomplicated & accepting (even if they seem picky at first), but also way more passionate than you’d think on first glance. You should see them in their element, if you have the opportunity. The sorts of ppl whose eyes sparkle for the beauty in forgotten places. 

IDK if others would also describe me this way as well. One does try. 

[violetnotez]

HC: Working at a restaurant with them

So I work at a restaurant and let me just say- it kinda sucks. Its either super busy or super dead and *cough cough we are totally understaffed. But anyways, I’d thought it’d be fun to write HC for what it would be like to work with the BNHA boys at a food joint! 

MIDORIYA

Where You Two Work: 

Definitely a coffee shop, and a super aesthetic one at that

The type that doesn’t actually have the greatest coffee, but one that people come just because of how adorable and peaceful it is

The whole inside is made up of rich browns, creamy whites, and refreshing greens, with knick knacks of all shapes and sizes littering the walls and cabinets (and even from the ceiling)

You had first began working with Uraraka, but she gave her 2 weeks notice to your boss after a month of you working there

But she had also recommended a friend to take her place- and he got hired

On the first day, Midoriya was already pretty nervous- a new job! A new place! What if he couldnt do everything that was asked of him? What if everyone was super mean? What if he just downright hated it?

When he walked in, and saw this beautiful girl at the counter, he couldn't BrEaThE

He seriously thought you were an angel

When you greeted him as you usuallye became a Huge WRECK- stuttering, sweating, the works

And then he said you were going to train HIM

ONE ON ONE

Izuku didn't know whether to be terrified or ecstatic, because he 1) wanted to never be away from you now and 2) he had NO IDEA how he was going to survive being alone with you and having your undivided attention on him for a couple of hours 

What makes him Angry:

Hates how people become so rude to you and show you no respect as a person

It also pains him that you just have to sit there and take it

He has literally seen people point in your face, accuse you of outlandish accusations, and call you rude names

Once witnessed an adult woman call you “stupid” and asked you “if you even went to school” because you accidentally put 2 pumps of caramel syrup instead of 3

This has literally happened to me-just not in the same context :\

Another time, this man was screaming in your face on how he hated his coffee and wanted his money back

Midoriya could tell you were extremely stressed even though you were smiling and being cheerful towards the man

The man mistakenly took your positive demeanor as an insult, because he decided to try and throw his half drinken ice coffee at you

Midoriya instantly saw this, and as if as a reflex, caught it right before it splashed all over your apron

“I think it’s time for you to leave now sir”, he said calmly, but his face didn’t match- it was furious

The man tried to yell at you some more, but he saw Izuku’s face and decided it was best to leave

After that incident, Midoriya didnt leave your side and kept checking up on you throughout the shift

How You Usually Work Together:

Midoriya is always the most helpful one 

He’s extra helpful with you because of the MASSIVE work crush he has

But if you ever need help cleaning tables? He’s on it

Need to do the dishes? No worries, he’s got it

Just need a 10 minute break? You sure as heck know he’s dropping everything to make sure you rest

He’s not the best at making drinks, but his adorable personality makes him the best cashier

Mingled with your quick drink time, you two are always getting crazy good tips, especially since your both scheduled in the morning, which is typically the biggest rush of the day

Which you both share of course

When it becomes super dead after a big rush, and you two had cleaned up, you’ll make each other’s favorite drinks as you wait for your shifts to end

You two both worked hard, you deserve a free coffee!

Midoriya always asks for green tea boba, and you make whatever your feel like drinking at that moment

You’ll sit on the counter, smiling and laughing at Midoriya’s crazy stories about his friends over at UA, and just relish the feeling of being with him

Because he’s turned into your work crush too

TODOROKI

Where You Two Work:

I imagine Todoroki working at the most BOUJEE-IEST PLACE EVERRR

Like some super expensive sushi place that takes literally 3 months to get a reservation and you need to pay a down payment to eat there

Like tthe Boujee of the boujee

Is that even how you spell boujee oh well ACK

You had quit your last job because you hated it, and were now desperately job searching

One of the job sites you had joined sent you a message that this place was paying $15/hour

I WiSh

You of course instantly applied, and went to an interview a week later, completely nervous because of how rich this place looked

After the interview, you kind of assumed you wouldn’t get hired because you didnt feel you had enough experience, but to your surprised, you got a phone call a few weeks later asking you to come in for Training

You met your boss, and your manager, who showed you the ropes of the place- it was amazing seeing all these high class chefs at work and all the guests you recognized

Everyone was a high figure of society: social media stars, political figures, even heroes!

You began to sweat a little, realizing you’d have to be around this people every night

As you were looking around the room, trying to calm your nerves, you saw him-Literally the prettiest boy you had ever seen 

He was wearing a white dress shirt and black bottoms that looked just as expensive as the restaurant, his hair was perfectly split between red and white, and he had a red patch over his blue eye, his expression calm as he filled an empty water cup at a small table

Your manager noticed you staring at Todoroki, your mouth slightly agape

“Ah, I guess you noticed Todoroki!” she cried happily, “Todoroki, when your done helping our wonderful guests, come and say ‘hi’!”

Todoroki looked up, his expression unreadable as he looked at his overly happy manager and your blushing face

He nodded solemnly at the woman thanking him for his water, and came walking over, the pitcher of water still in his hand

“Todoroki, I’d like you to meet our newest hostess, y/n!” she smiled brightly as Todoroki stared at you with so much attention you felt he was staring at your soul

He reached out his hand, his expression blank

“Welcome,” he stated matter of factly

His palm was warm, his calloused skin rubbing against your skin gently

“If you’ll excuse me,” he spoke to you and your manager, “I have to work to do.”

 And just as quickly as he came, he was gone, his shoulder inches from brushing yours

“Well, he’s very ...mysterious,” you sighed, wondering if you’d be working with him more- the more you looked at him, the more you wanted to learn more about him

“Yes, yes, that Todoroki sure is a quiet one,” you manager agreed, “But, surprisingly, he’s one of our best servers! Ever since he started working here, we’ve been having TONS of regulars!”

“It’s probably that pretty face of his,” your manager winked, laughing as you blushed

“Or it might be because he’s the son of Endeavor,” she added casually

“WAIT-” you gasped, “He’S ThE sOn oF-

What Makes Him Angry:

The creepsters that try and get with you make him furious

He hasn’t told you he likes you, or even given you a reason to think he has emotions for you because he is terrible at showing any type of feelings, but he is HIGHLY observant of you

Because hes a starer not gonna lie its borderline creepy

He knows your mannerisms  for when your happy and having a good day, or when you feel down in the dumps

You could look like the most cheerful person going into work, but Todoroki will know instantly that that happy smile of yours is being strained, and he’ll ask if you’re okay and if you want to talk

So when creepy idiots are trying to give you pick up lines or ask for your number, he knows right when you feel uncomfortable

And it also pisses him off because… he’s got FEELS for you

“Hey uh uhm…” the man yelled with an huge grin, snapping his fingers as if he remembered something he had been straining so hard to recover from his memory, “Y/N! Some more wine sweetheart!”

You turned around, putting on your fakest smile and fighting the urge to roll your eyes.

“Coming right over, sir!” you stated, carrying the very expensive bottle of wine this man had practically drunken half of by himself 

“Thanks darlin’,” he smiled, giving you a wink that made you want to laugh in disgust- did this dude really think he had a shot with you? Gross!

“While your at it, why dont you stay for awhile, talk some with me- I’d bet we have alot in common,” he drawled, trying to be suave and smooth-talk you in front of his equally creepy-looking friends

“Sorry to break it to you sir, but if you look around, there’s no room for me to sit. And besides, I have to get back to work-,” you replied slightly less cheerfully, trying to move away,

The man grabbed your wrist, making your blood run cold. 

“Aww c’mon darlin’, dont play hard to get,” he said breathily, wrecking of wine, “you can sit right here!” He then patted his lap, giving you a wink as his buddies laughed

You began to turn red form embarrassment, ready to do something irrational to teach this creep a well deserved lesson

“She won’t be sitting anywhere near you sir,” you heard Todoroki’s  steady and confident voice near you, feeling his powerful presence that instantly made you feel safe

“And if you keep using vulgar suggestions like that towards our staff, I’ll be forced to tell security-and then I’d be able to teach you a well deserved lesson about manners towards women outside.”

You stared at Todoroki in shock- you had never seen Todoroki this mad, he was always so calm and collected. His face was so dark, it didn't even look like him.

“Are you trying to threaten me kid?” the man asked lowly, his tone dangerous as he began to stand up.

“Wait Nijagke- I think that’s Endeavor’s kid- look at the hair,” one of his buddy’s friend whispered to the man fearfully, “You dont want to mess with Endeavor.”

The man gave Todoroki a hard stare, slowly sitting back down.

“Your lucky you got Daddy’s name to protect you, boy,” the man hissed, “or I’d be the one taking you outside.”

“I sincerely doubt that,” Todoroki spat back, gingerly taking your hand in his and leading you into the break room to make sure you were okay.

How You Usually Work Together:

Todoroki is the definition of mysterious work hawtie

Like he barely talks to you but somehow talks just enough to know him as a person, but you’re always craving more information about him

Like you know he’s full name is Shouto Todoroki, he goes to UA, he’s Endeavor’s kid, he hates his dad, and that he only got this job so he wouldn’t have to be home more than he had to

Todoroki, let me give you a hug ^--^

But he also has the biggest crush on you and doesn’t know how to communicate it, so he does the wierdest crap

Like you once mentioned to your coworkers how you think chivalry is dead because men never give roses anymore, and the next day at work there was this huge rose bouquet in the work room sent to you

Your manager sees all this and totally tries to set you two up ALLL the time

Like she’s always dropping little hints like “Oh really, thats so funny y/n, because TODOROKI’S SINGLE TOO!”

Leaves you always as a stuttering mess while Todoroki blushes softly

Is always offering to do things for you and buy you lunch

And even if you refuse, he still buys you lunch

ALL THE TIME

Because he got that money to spend$$$

BAKUGO

Where You Two Work:

You two work at the most generic food chain, like McDonald’s or Taco Bell

You at first worked with Kirishima, you two only really working there for some extra summer cash

Kirishima was the most positive person ever and you loved working with him because of his optimistic attitude

He was always talking about his buddies at UA, and there was three that always came in asking for free food

*cough cough Pikachu, Tape Boy, and Best Girl Mina

But the one he ALWAYS talked about was his best friend

How Kirishima talked about him, he was a little rough around the edges but was super cool to be around, and you actually wanted to meet him- if he hanged out with such a fun group, he must be as chill, right?

WRONG

You came in one day to see Kirishima in the back room talking to your boss, a spiky blonde next to him that had his hands stuffed in his pockets

You didn’t think really anything of it, until the very next day

Kirishima waltzed in, his buddy from yesterday at his side, looking like he wanted to murder somebody, the hat he was supposed to wear balled up in his hand

“Im not wearing this stupid hat Kirishima,” he spat at his friend with so much force you couldnt help but be a little curious by him- he was pretty hot.

“C’mon Bakugo, its just a hat!” Kkirishima said nonchalantly with his usual smile, waving at you.

“Hey Kirishima, I thought you weren’t working today,” you asked, eyeing his friend from the corner of your eye

Even though he was sulking like a child, it was kinda….cute?

“Yeah, I am,” he sighed, “I was just coming over to introduce you to Bakugo! I got him hired!”

He smiled so happily, you couldnt help but smile with him, his friend still brooding

“Im only doing this because you forced me to, you idiot, and I got hired without your help,” he grunted out, stomping his way behind the counter.

Kirishima looked at your concerned face, giving you a reassuring smile.

“I promise,” he oathed, “he’s a little rough around the edges, but he’ll warm up to you!”

“Good luck training him!” he yelled happily as he walked out the door, leaving you with the fuming blonde behind you

Oh great

What Makes Them Angry

People

Just people in general

He HATES talking to people

He is always cooking because hes quick and makes the food really good, but being even close to customers- NO

He will YELL at a child who drops food on the ground

And has done it

But his biggest pet peeve is people who feel entitled enough to say crap about how to food isnt up to their ‘standards”

Because 1) 9 times out of 10, he made the goddamn food

And 2) They always yell at you for all their insignificant little problems, and you take it

Like what the hell you’re actually nice to them after the yelled in your face?!

He hates seeing you cry

Like if somebody makes you cry- they’re dying

One time a lady screamed at you from the register that she shouldn’t have to pay for cheese on her burger, calling you really rude names

You politely excused yourself to get your manager, and as you walked by Bakugo in the back, he saw you trying not to cry

Angry Pomeranian activated

As you’re explaining the situation to your manager as he hands you some water to calm down, you both hear Bakugo screaming in the front

“-THE HELL YOU YELLING AT MY COWORKER?! YOURE EATING AT MCDONALDS YOU IDIOT HOW CHEAPER DO YOU WANT IT TO BE?!”

You literally had to fight for your boss to not fire Bakugo after that

How you usually work together:

Bakugo acts like he always hates being there

Only talk in grunts and eye rolls

When he does talk, he’s always whining or yelling

Its kinda scary

He always acts indifferent to you-but- he actually likes you

Like ALOT

When he clocks in, he is always angry, until he sees you, and he seems to melt a little bit

He thinks, for some odd reason, you look adorable in the uniform

Which was a real What the Hell moment for him because HE IS HaRdCoRe

He doesnt do CRUSHES

Kirishima catches on real quick though

He doesn’t really say anything about it- he just kinda watches it

When he drops hints though to Bakugo, Bakugo intatantly gets MAD

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN I GOTTA CRUSH ON HER?! ON THAT TWERP?! HELL NO!”

Thats when Kirishima KNOWS his buddy definitely has a crush

One time you were slightly late to work, still not even in dressed in your work clothes

You were wearing a cute off the shoulder top with a skirt

“Sorry! I was at a family event! I didnt think I’d be late!” you huffed out, hastily clocking in

BAKUGO COULDNT STOP STARING

When you walked, he literally was just MESMERIZED by your LEGS

Kirishima noticed his friend practically drooling

“Really?” he laughed, elbowing his friend, “No crush?”

“SHUT UP YOU BAKA,” Bakugo stuttered, trying to hide his blush

AHHHHH

-----------------------

Requests open!

[starsgivemehp]

The Argument Against and Defense of Hetalia

Let me preface this by saying that I have not watched the show or read the manga in a few years now, and thus I am working mostly off of memory and what fan content I see these days, which is not a lot. Also, I am a gentile, and I don’t claim to know a lot about the Jewish community or traditions. I am, however, a writer and I have plenty of practice analyzing and criticizing works of fiction from multiple angles. With that in mind, this essay is an attempt to explain everything that is wrong and not wrong with the show, the comic strips, and the fandom.

I’m putting this under a read more for sheer length, this was 11 pages on Google docs.

Let us start with the list of grievances assembled largely from one post, the majority of which I had to go digging for as the original person in this post who mentioned Hetalia said, and I quote, “i dont feel the need to link a source for [hetalia] because…” and then listed two things, one of which is incorrect entirely. But I digress, I will address each one at a time. The list of grievances is as follows:

It is called ‘Axis Powers’ Hetalia

One of the main characters is a personification of Nazi Germany

The entire point of the series is:

Advocating for eugenics

Racial fetishization

Advocating for fascism

Nazi sympathizing/propaganda

The entire franchise is terrible due to rape jokes, racism, and Holocaust jokes

Hetalia fans are all terrible due to rape jokes and other issues

Death of the author cannot apply to this fandom

There may be more that are in other reblogs of the post in question, and I may add addendums further in this essay, but for the time being, I will address each of these grievances and explain the validity or non-validity of each, from a position understanding of both fans and of non-fans. Thus, in order:

‘Axis Powers’ Hetalia

When people talk about Hetalia, they usually are referring to the anime due to its widespread popularity. However, Hetalia began as a series of strip comics posted on a forum by Hidekaz Himaruya (and I spent a while trying to actually find the original comics, but I can’t, there are links to his blogs there in what I’ve provided). It later was formatted into a manga, and then later became an anime. While it was originally titled Axis Powers: Hetalia and the first two seasons of the show are named as such, it usually is only referred to as Hetalia. The anime seasons after said first two seasons have all been ‘world’ focused: Seasons three and four were titled World Series, season five was titled Beautiful World, season six was titled World Twinkle, and the upcoming season seven is titled World Stars.

For the purposes of tagging everything, I tend to see the tags ‘hetalia’ and ‘hws,’ which is short for Hetalia: World Series. This name of the third and fourth anime seasons is the most widely accepted and used name for the series as a whole. While it is true that, years ago, people referred to it as ‘aph’ for Axis Powers Hetalia, the fans and the series have put that behind them, for good reason. It is understandable, even righteous, to not accept the title ‘Axis Powers.’ It does draw focus to the WW2 era, and place the fascists and nazis as the ‘main characters,’ or even, ‘the good guys,’ which is not the case. Obviously, the Nazis were terrible and the entirety of the Axis Powers did horrible, unspeakable things during the war.

It must be noted, to anybody who has not seen the show or read the manga, that the first one to two seasons do have a ‘focus’ on the WW2 era, per se, but it largely talks about interactions between countries, as they are the personified party, and makes extremely few allusions to the war itself, and none to the Holocaust. I will address that in a later section. For now, the point to make is that after these original two seasons, Hetalia branches out into a much wider worldview, adds several more characters, and focuses more on said characters in individual arcs and offerings of historical facts - as generalized as they may be. Nobody claimed that Hetalia was correct in everything it said, but it aims to play out some historical information in a simplified and humorous way. This is due to the fact that the characters are all singular people meant to personify entire countries, which leads us to point two.

The Personification of Nazi Germany

This is the second complaint of the strand of the post in question that I was presented with, quoted as “one of the main characters is a personification of nazi germany.” This is an entirely incorrect statement. ‘Nazi Germany,’ as people call it, is the state of Germany during the era leading up to and of World War 2. The country is still Germany, the people were still German, the Nazi part comes from the political regime in power, a real world nightmare. In the Hetalia series, the characters are called by their country names, because that is who they personify. This may change at times. For example, the character now known as Turkey was previously called Ottoman Empire. They come to be when civilization starts or a colony is introduced to a place. This can be seen in the strip or episode where China ‘finds’ Japan as a small boy and begins to teach him reading and writing - and Japan thereafter invents hiragana. It can also be seen in the comic where a young child, Iceland, questions who he is and why he knows his people are “different beings” than him. The country that speaks to him (I only have the comic here in my likes in that list, the name isn’t mentioned and it’s been a while, but it might be another of the Scandinavian countries) explains that he is Mr. Iceland, they don’t know why he is Mr. Iceland, but they know he is.

What I am attempting to explain with all of these other examples is that there is no ‘Nazi Germany’ character. There is a character called Germany (or Mr. Germany), and all of his adult life, he has been called Germany. He is never addressed by anything else. He does, however, look remarkably similar to a childhood friend of Italy’s, Holy Roman Empire (or just Holy Rome), but as far as it has been explained in canon, Holy Rome went off somewhere and, later on Germany and Italy met as strangers. The general consensus is, due to the area where the Holy Roman Empire used to be is around-ish Germany, the characters are the same. But never, in any of the comics, anime, or movie, is Germany referred to as Nazi Germany. I don’t believe the word ‘Nazi’ appears at any point in time, even, though I cannot claim I have seen every shred of content, so I may be wrong. But I doubt that very much, as it is not in the nature of the series to do such a thing. Moving on.

Advocating for Eugenics

I will start and end this section by saying that Hetalia was, in the original post, roped in with Attack on Titan, of which (as far as I know) the author advocates for eugenics - or the idea that certain people should not be allowed to produce offspring due to their race or other factors. There is no example of Hetalia content wherein this disgusting opinion is ever mentioned or supported in any way. This is at worst a flat-out lie, and at best lumping Hetalia in with a much worse show that does do this (but I won’t get into that, I have never seen more than a few episodes of Attack on Titan and I don’t care to see any more of it. Throw your opinions or defenses elsewhere, I care 0% about it entirely). I have no more need to prepare a more detailed response to this accusation. It simply is not true.

Racial Fetishization

This particular accusation is a difficult one. Fetishization may be a strong word, as the series is largely a comedy. Everyone gets their turn in the spotlight, so to speak, so I find it hard to plainly state that any one character is fetishized or displayed as the most powerful. There is, of course, Rome, who only appears in small segments as Italy’s grandfather and is, in the series, touted as an amazing empire who had it all. I do not believe this is what the accusation is referring to. This accusation seems to be some sort of insistence that the show and creator believe that white people (or possibly just Germans/Nazis/the Aryan race?) are touted as the most powerful and nobody else can compare. I can confidently say that while that is never said anywhere, there are a few issues. Hetalia, particularly the animated series, had (and may still have) a longstanding issue of whitewashing countries that should not be white. This includes Egypt and Seychelles (who both later got a darker skin tone, probably still not dark enough though) as the worst offenders, and even Spain, Turkey, Greece, and Romano (southern Italy), and so on. Yes, this is a big problem. There is no defense against that. It should not be the case. These characters obviously should have darker skin. I will note, however, that many fans are already completely aware of this, have been complaining about it since the beginning, and tend to draw these characters with more correct skin tones in their fanart. This is a case where yes, the original content is not good, but the fans make their own fixes. If you are angry at Hetalia for whitewashing, good. You should be. But I do not believe this should reflect on the entirety of the content and the fandom (And note that I am not linking any particular fanart here, because I want nobody to go attack any fans).

It is also important to note that yes, a large majority of the series builds upon stereotypes. No, stereotypes are not good. No, you should not assume that the personifications of the countries encompass all citizens of said countries. The entire premise of the show is one person = the embodiment of a country, and that person changes and adapts with the times in terms of uniform and personality. It is extremely hard to do this without stereotyping. Most serious fans are aware of this, and do not in any way believe that these characters represent everyone from these countries. It may be true that much younger fans used to, and it may be true that people do not want to watch the show because stereotypes are, arguably, bad. But do remember that this is a comedy, and every character is picked on. Every one. And it is understandable if this branch of humor is not for you. I, personally, don’t like Family Guy or South Park or any shows like that for their humor. I also don’t attack the people who do. I ignore it.

Advocating for Fascism

This is another area wherein I believe the accuser is simply lumping Hetalia in with the original poster’s subject, Attack on Titan. Again, I will not defend or attack that show, as I do not care about it at all. However, regarding Hetalia, I can confidently say that it does not advocate for fascism. While the first two seasons are (sort of) set in WW2 era, as previously mentioned, the fighting is not really a big part, and nobody is touted as correct - only struggling in the conflict. For example, there is a scene where Germany, post WW1, is shown making cuckoo clocks by hand and lamenting the fact that he has to make so many thousands in order to pay back France. This is by no means painting fascism as a good thing, or explaining anything about how poverty and other struggles lead to the formation and rise of the Nazi party. It is simply a scene where we see a man frustratedly making cuckoo clocks and complaining while France’s big head jeers at him in his imagination. The surrounding scenes and the end of this one are making note of how Italy keeps coming over to his house to try and be friends and Germany keeps kicking him out because Italy is annoying and whiny. The episode further goes on to mention that Germany is attacking France again, and Italy has suddenly become his ally, and he is not happy about it for the aforementioned reasons. Again, this does not in any way paint Germany as being ‘right.’ The purpose of the segment(s) is/are to show him disliking the annoying Italy (whom the show is named for) and trying to get him out of his house before eventually giving up and accepting that they can be friends. Is it all 100% historically accurate? No, not by a long shot. Does it paint him as sympathetic? Sort of, you feel bad for the guy making a thousand cuckoo clocks, but only in the sense that he is one person doing a lot of work, a completely fictional situation. But Italy - and the audience - obviously know that attacking France again is not a good thing, so does it advocate the Nazis or fascism? Also no.

Nazi Sympathizing/Propaganda

I pretty well covered this in the previous section, but I will expand. I have alluded to the first two seasons as “focusing” on WW2, in a way, and also mentioned that this is a generalization of sorts, so here I will attempt to clarify. The first few episodes do, indeed, touch on ‘the way they all met’ in a sense; Germany is starting a war and he reluctantly becomes allies with Italy, and less reluctantly becomes allies with Japan, who examines both of them and decides he is content with this situation. However, none of it is very serious, and these ‘formalities’ give way easily to more humorous personable interactions, such as Italy hugging Japan without warning and the touch-anxious Japan pushing him off and getting flustered, Italy petting a cat and then freaking out when he is licked because a cat’s tongue is rough, the two of them ‘training’ by doing your regular old exercising and jogging and Italy being late, etc etc. Stupid, personable jokes.

On the flip side, the show covers the Allied Powers quite a bit too. A lot of this is the five big ones - America, Britain (/England/UK), France, Russia, and China - all meeting around one table and squabbling about various things. I fondly recall one scene where China arrives late and has a bunch of workers suddenly building a Chinatown in the meeting room because he was hungry and wanted his own food, and the others protesting. They are then offered food and become okay with it, because food. Other such nonsense plays out in other, similar meetings. There is also a segment where the Axis powers are all stranded on an island for… some unknown reason… and they set about attempting to survive via campfire and fishing and such. Twice (three times?) the Allied powers ‘attack’ them on this island via China whacking them each with a wok and, as the three of them are in a sad heap, something interrupts the scene to make the Allies retreat. One time, it is Rome’s sudden and also unexplained entrance across the sky singing a song, and another time, it is England’s preoccupation with a cursed chair. Also, at one point, Austria is playing a piano. Does any of this magic logical, real life sense? No. It’s stupid and funny and has nothing to do with war. These are just personable characters thrown into weird situations so they can be funny, with some extremely mild historical context along the way.

I will note again that WW2 is pretty much completely dropped after these two seasons, with the war hardly addressed at all, and future seasons focus more on other characters. The Scandinavians get to all have fun together, the Baltic trio is mentioned, there is a lot about Switzerland taking care of Liechtenstein (wow I spelled it right after all these years, go me) and being stiff and formal with Austria. There is also plenty about people mistaking Canada for America, and England and France squabbling throughout the years, and Spain finding Romano cute but also very grumpy, etc etc… This series is largely Eurasia-focused, yes, and it can be criticized for not being as diverse as it should be. But boiling it down to ‘Nazi propaganda’ is outright, obliviously false.

I don’t know if this is the best place to put this particular note, but I couldn’t think of anywhere else to place it, so here it will go. I would like to mention that in the series, some characters, like Germany and Russia, express outright fear of their ‘bosses’ in certain points in history. It is important to realize that Germany, Japan, America, etc… these characters are not the actual, real-life humans in charge of these countries, but people of a fictional, separate species than humans who grow up as the nation grows and have lives that are affected by these world leaders (we even watch in the show America shooting up from child to young adult as the colonies expand, and England comments on how quickly he grew up - but not as quickly as his people, of course. We’ll get to Davie later). The president of the United States is America’s ‘boss,’ and naturally, that boss changes every time the president changes. The emperor of China is China’s ‘boss.’ It follows, thusly, that at one point, Hitler was Germany’s ‘boss.’ The terrible person himself was alluded to, as far as I know, exactly one time, not by name, and no face was shown. In a very brief scene, Germany laments that his new boss is scary and he was just ordered to go force Austria to come live with him. Said boss is shown as, I believe, an evilly laughing shadowy figure. That’s it. That’s the scene. There is no other mention of Hitler, nor is there any mention of the Holocaust anywhere. One could argue that the show is then trying to say that the Holocaust didn’t happen, but I think such an accusation is frankly absurd. It’s a comedy, it was always a comedy, and what in the fuck would be comedic about a mass genocide in any way? Nothing. None of it is funny. Of course it is not brought up in a comedy.

Rape Jokes, Racism, and Holocaust Jokes

While I did somewhat address racism already in the section about whitewashing and racial fetishization, I have another clarification to make, especially regarding the jokes. A lot of people complain that there are rape jokes throughout the series, and that there are two Holocaust jokes. I will begin by saying yes, this is all true, those things did happen during the course of the show. However, it is important to note that all of those things happened in the English dub of the animated show, and none of these terrible jokes exist in the Japanese/subbed version, or the original comic strips.

The English dub is, on all accounts, pretty terrible. Everyone has an over exaggerated accent, there are the aforementioned jokes, there are name changes (England referred to as Britain, among them, very confusing), and the voice actors themselves make mention in commentaries that their goal in this job was, to paraphrase because I haven’t listened in a while, ‘to be as offensive as possible to absolutely everyone’ (and one of the English dub voice actors is even a convicted sex offender, but that’s it’s own mess).  Not the most glamorous or noble of goals. One could say ‘at least if it’s everyone, it’s not really racism, is it? Just humor?’ There is a case for that. Many comedians will say that they poke fun at everyone to avoid singling anybody out as inherently superior. It cannot be said to be the best way to make humor, but it cannot be said to be the worst way, also. Overall, I don’t like the English dub, I don’t watch it, I prefer the subs. And yes, the subbed version has a few issues of its own, but I can say that at least, no, it does not make any Holocaust or rape jokes. Are those kinds of jokes excusable? Fuck no. They’re completely inappropriate. Should you judge the whole series and fandom based on the grossness of the English dubs? Also no, the people who did the English dubs have zero to do with the original creator, the animators, and the fans. Screw them.

The Fandom Being Terrible

I must again preface by saying I was never super active in the fandom at large. I had my own little niche of friends and I stuck to them and I didn’t often branch out. I did, however, go to cons back in those days, and saw plenty of cosplayers. The main complaint I see regarding the fandom is that most of the fans are completely rabid, make a bunch of rape jokes, and even dress up as ‘Nazi Germany’ (iron cross and red armband and all) and pretend to shoot up synagogues. Now, I have not seen cosplayers do the nazi solute or do such photoshoots, but I can believe that people have done it. I have seen plenty of rabid fans, and some of the OCs created for Hetalia, especially many interpretations of individual states (or Antarctica), were extremely cringey, racist, and overall just not good. And yes, these things are undeniably bad. They are very bad things! Those people should be ashamed. They should know better, regardless of their ages or anything, for fuck’s sake. The nazi salute is not a thing you do jokingly, pretending to shoot people is not a joke. Everyone is aware of this. The people who did, or maybe even still do, those things need a serious sit-down and to be woken the fuck up, because they are acting terrible.

However, it is extremely unfair to paint all Hetalia fans in the same light. That is a very stereotypical thing to do, no? As I mentioned earlier, I stuck to my little niche friend group of fans, and while we all had our own flaws and were younger and kinda dumber, we never did things like that. I never did things like that. Rape jokes were never funny, I never liked them, I never accepted them. I have people I still know who still like Hetalia and they never made those kinds of jokes either. I think, as the years have gone by, a lot of the more rabid fans have died out of the fandom. They’ve either grown the fuck up or they’ve went off to pollute some other fandom. Recognize that, especially in the beginning, the anime was low-budget and had a lot of that old and gross queerbaiting and stuff like that, so it was undeniably a magnet for crazy yaoi fans. But the majority of fanart, fanfics, and just overall fan stuff that I see these days are nothing like that. Overall, the fandom has seriously calmed down. A lot of the focus is much more on taking these characters and applying them to other historical events with more accuracy than the show might give. The history in these fanfics and fanarts may also be of questionable accuracy at times. I personally once wrote a fic where I made allusions to the death of Joan d’Arc and, later, the death of Elizabeth I, but did I add much historic fact? No, do I look like a history major spilling all this? The point of the fic was England - the character - maturing through starting to love one of his rulers and recognizing a terrible thing that he did before. It’s not the best piece of work out there, and maybe someone could point out a few things I did wrong with it, but for what it’s meant to be, it’s harmless. Takes on characters not actually in the series, like Ireland, Scotland, etc etc are generally pretty mature from what I see, fanart tends to just be the characters in various poses and styles. The overall love the fandom has, I think, is in the better character designs and in the very concept of the countries as people who laugh and cry and live through war and peace for thousands of years. And here is where I address the final grievance that I personally saw in the notes of the post which started this whole thought process and essay.

The Death of the Author

A lot of people might not fully understand what ‘The Death of the Author’ means. The death of the author is a belief rooted in the 20th century that the personal intentions, beliefs, and prejudices of the authors of certain works can have no bearing on their produced content, because once it is out in the public, every reader may then have their own interpretation and belief system. By publicizing the content, the author ‘dies’ and the reader is born.

There are some scenarios where this cannot apply. One example is JK Rowling, a very special case of a very problematic woman who happens to be so powerful, and so rich, that consuming any type of official (or even unofficial) Harry Potter anything can and will give her that much more power to spread her TERF bullshit. Let me be frank: Any time that consuming a product is allowing a bigoted or problematic person to gain extra money or extra power that they then use for evil, the death of the author cannot apply. You cannot use it as a moral justification. You might perhaps use it as the reason why you struggle to let go of a fandom near and dear to you, as Harry Potter is to so many people, but you absolutely must recognize that purchasing the books, the movies, or any other official content is outright supporting a TERF.

That in mind, there are dozens of other cases where the death of the author absolutely can apply. The easiest, of course, is with authors who are actually dead, such as Lovecraft. Lovecraft was a complete bigot and racist, an overall terrible person, and his works are saturated in that racism. But he is dead, and his work is very popular, and there are ways to take and use his work that do not contribute further to racism and bigotry. All you have to do is slap a non-racist cthulhu on a page. Make that cthulhu eat everyone equally. That’s a good cthulhu right there, a nice, safe cthulhu.

So where does Hetalia fall in this spectrum of can or cannot have death of the author? I believe it leans more to the side of yes, you can apply it. For one thing, you can definitely find the show for free in some places, and watch it without giving Himaruya a single cent. The comics are also available online for free, and while you might be giving your ‘support’ by being a viewer, I think overall, that’s not only negligible, but does not contribute anything bad? The author of Attack on Titan has many charges levied against him in the post which prompted this, and arguably, giving him any money is bad. But as far as I have seen, while Himaruya might have started out with a flawed premise and may have some whitewashing issues, I have seen nowhere that he funds any kind of racist, nationalistic, fascist, etc anything of any kind. This is not like Chick-Fil-A, where offering any kind of patronage is (or maybe used to be) sinking funds into terrible organizations. This is not supporting literal Nazis, as the complaints claim. This is a largely mediocre series with good parts and bad parts and zero ties to horrific organizations or ideals. Consuming good fan content does not make someone a racist or a bigot or a nazi sympathizer. Even rewatching some old favorite scenes or checking out the new season doesn’t make someone that. By all accounts, the show is flawed but not a means to fund nazis.

The Bad Anything Else

I will now take some time to talk about some other problems Hetalia has, because no, it is by no means flawless. I already discussed the whitewashing and stereotypes and the mess of the English dub, but there is more. I made mention of the fact that battles and seriously bad events such as the Holocaust are not mentioned, and this holds true throughout pretty much all of the series. There are certain points where ‘battles’ of a sort are seen, but only flash moments. One scene in particular that I really enjoyed as a tween and can now see the problems with is the whole revolutionary war scene. This was a scene split into two episodes (for some weird reason, even an unrelated episode in between, like, what? Why??) about a particular (unnamed) battle in the American Revolution where England faced down America, they each had a gun with a bayonet, and England charged America and his bayonet deeply scratched America’s gun, and America declared he was no longer England’s little brother, and the whole thing was played out as an extremely emotional scene. England is lost in the past of seeing America as a cute little kid he took care of, who has now grown up and is being reckless and stupid, and America is all righteous and independent and proving he’s a grown up, it’s all very emotional, I cried, other fans cried, there was much fanart.

This scene is problematic in a way. Boiling down an extremely nasty conflict following lots of really bad laws and protests to this one scene doesn’t do history any justice. It says nothing about the struggles of the American colonists, the struggles of the British empire, the awful things the colonists did to the natives, etc etc. It is one small scene and it focuses on these characters as humanoid, with feelings, and completely ignores the complexities of history. And yes, in a way, that is bad. But it is bad in the sense that nobody can - or at least should - take this show to be the end-all be-all of history. It is not. It is not often entirely correct, and it picks and chooses what points in the past several thousand years to play with, and trying to use it as a map for history is a bad idea. However, this focus on the countries as human-like and struggling can also be a good thing.

It is also important to note that there have been other problems. The portrayal of South Korea, for example, is extremely controversial, and while I do not know all of the specifics, I believe that it was banned in Korea due to this, and the character was entirely removed from the anime, among other things. Obviously, a bad take, a bad character. There are also just straight up not great characterizations in certain cases. I don’t, for example, like anything about how Belarus is portrayed as a crazy psycho constantly begging Russia (her big brother) to marry her? I think that that is ridiculous, and I know nothing about Belarus as a country but I am pretty darn sure that that is not how one ought to go about portraying the country. There are a few other examples, but my purpose here was not to pull up a list of every country and explain what is correct or incorrect about each characterization. It is enough to say that some characters were not portrayed perfectly. But with that in mind...

The Good Anything Else

It is the most important to remember that this, all of this, is fiction. This is a silly, silly fantasy series. The countries are not humans, they are some weird semi-immortal species that share a universal language and know they are not human and are referenced by humans as ‘those people.’ They are fictional constructs. But the good out of all of this is that they explore human emotions. The American Revolution scene should not be taken as how the revolution was, and who might have been right or wrong. But it is a very emotional story of a big brother unable to accept that his little brother has grown up and wants to make his own choices. That, right there, is a heartfelt scene that I’m sure plenty of real people can feel something about. And there are plenty of other scenes that really grab you by the heartstrings, especially given how crazy, stupid, and humor-oriented the rest of the show is. And I will take a moment and enthuse about some of the more popular scenes that I think are, in fact, pretty good.

There is one episode in season 5, Beautiful World, where an American woman visits France (the place). This woman, Lisa, is blond and bears a striking resemblance to Joan d’Arc. While visiting some historical place somewhere or another in Paris, France (the person) spots her and rushes up with an odd look. When she questions him, he apologizes and offers to give her a tour of the area, which she accepts. He then proceeds to lead her around and explain some history and show off some beautiful sights, and he mentions some stuff about Joan d’Arc. She butts in and lists off some stuff she knows, he beams and looks proud and says yes, she’s right. The end of the scene has the two of them standing alone somewhere and him commenting how young Joan was when she was killed, and that he always wished she could have had a better, nicer life. He then states that he is very happy that she got it, while giving this American tourist a gentle smile. She looks away for a moment, distracted by something perhaps, and when she looks back to ask just who the heck he really is, talking about a historical figure like he knew her, he is gone. It’s a very emotional scene in a quiet sort of way, because the watcher/reader understands that he took one look at this woman and instantly believed that she was, in fact, Joan d’Arc reincarnated into a totally different and totally average life, and he is so genuinely happy that a woman he saw as a hero gets this chance to live normally. Whether or not you may personally believe in reincarnation, and regardless of how often other times in the show France is shown as an obnoxious sexaholic, this is an extremely tender scene that lots of fans seriously love. It is very ‘human.’ And I feel like this is what the series as a whole strives to offer. These human moments. They may be peppered in a sort of lackadaisical style in the anime, but they are far more prominent in the comic strips, so it is important to realize that that kind of scene is more of what the creator likes to focus on.

Another very popular and touted scene is the Davie scene. I don’t remember if it was put in the anime or not, I read it as a comic. It was a scene set in colonial America, where the man himself was just a very small child. Little baby America was hanging out in a field with a rabbit and sees this boy, who introduces himself as Davie. Davie brings America to his house and opens up a botany book and points out a blue flower (possibly a forget-me-not) that he wants to see but that isn’t in the New World. America assures Davie that he will find him one of those flowers, and goes off to do so. He fails his search and goes back to Davie, who is older now, but Davie looks embarrassed and turns and walks away. Distressed, America runs to England and explains about the flower, and England says the flower is not there, but they do grow at home, and he will bring some the next time he leaves and comes back. America happily waits, and when England returns with a bouquet of the blue flowers, America takes them and runs off to Davie’s house. He is let in by a boy who looks just like Davie and presents the flowers, and the boy then puts them on (or maybe in) a coffin of an elderly man. America, smiling, does not seem to understand what is going on, and hopefully calls the boy Davie.

This entire scene, in the comic, has very few words. Davie’s name is repeated a few times, but most of the rest of the ‘dialogue’ is in images. The flower, England saying it is not there, etc. This makes the scene extremely poignant, and when we reach the end, we, the audience, realize suddenly that while baby America was fixated on finding a special flower for his new friend, years and years went by, and that friend grew up and got married and had children and eventually died, all while America remained looking the exact same age and understanding the exact same things. Look, folks, I don’t know about you, but that is some angsty stuff right there. I cried. We all cried. We all miss Davie. Mention the name to fans and you will get sobs. We love you, Davie.

Which brings me to my penultimate point, that this series is heartfelt and, while it avoids a lot of the bad of history, can be very poignant about what human nature is like. Human lives are long, very long, but also so very short, they fly by. Some lives end in tragedy, others are mostly peaceful, and maybe we get second chances if you believe in reincarnation, maybe not. Maybe it’s good that our lives are so short, maybe the fate of living forever and watching people you connect with die is tragic. Or maybe it would actually be really fun, having friends for thousands of years that you may squabble with at times but ultimately care for. Maybe nothing is simple and life is about finding joy where you can, and everyone needs to sometimes take a step back and realize that everyone is flawed, and there might be good and evil but the vast majority of people are in a grey area, trying to live their own lives and do what good they can for whatever reason they might give. I want to end with one last topic, one I have not yet addressed this whole time. The big white alien in the room, if you will.

Paint it: White!

There is a Hetalia movie, folks, if you didn’t know it, and it’s called Paint It White. This movie has just as many silly parts as any other Hetalia thing, but it also has a plot! In this movie, strange, all-white aliens are starting to invade the Earth. They arrive and anything they touch, they turn into completely identical white humanoid blobs, even the country personifications. With this scary and seemingly-unstoppable threat, the main eight - America, England, Russia, China, France, Japan, Germany, and Italy - all try to infiltrate the alien spaceship in frankly hideous uniforms to find out more and figure out a way to defeat them. Hijinks and disaster ensues, and at the end, each of them is fighting a mob and gradually being defeated. Italy is the last one standing, and as Germany is slowly being transformed into a blob along with the others, he tells Italy to smile. Italy then finds (or has? the plot isn’t great, it’s just there) a black marker and he suddenly starts going around drawing ridiculous faces on everyone. He draws fitting faces on each of his friend blobs, like a stern face on Germany-blob, a deadpan face on Japan-blob, etc etc. The invaders suddenly stop. They look at each other, marker-faced, and start to laugh. Then their leader of sorts comes out and is basically like “wow, we thought you were all stupid and you have wars and stuff, but this? This is beautiful. Wow. We all look exactly identical on our world, and these faces are cool and new and unique. We’ll turn everyone on your planet back if we can have this magical thingie you’re holding.” And of course Italy hands the marker right over, and everyone is put back to normal, and crybaby, scaredy-cat, useless Italy saves the world.

The plot is, obviously, not super great. It’s not going to win anybody any awards. But it has a very poetic premise. The strength of humans is that they are all unique. Every human has a different face, a different body, a different life. Our differences may cause conflict, but they are also something to celebrate. At the end of the day, Hetalia is an okay show that can get you hooked on history and tries its best to teach you that we’re all only human and there might be war and conflict and bad things, but you have to reach for the good things and find yourself good friends and have stupid laughs and enjoy life, however long or short it may be. I think that that’s a pretty decent message to send out to people.

The Bottom Line

In the end, this is a fandom like many others. Hetalia has its flaws and its cringe moments, and it certainly had its fair share of awful fans. But I truly believe that painting it overall as nazi propoganda and one of the most problematic and harmful shows out there is a blatant lie and disregards… just about everything of the actual content. I think it is difficult for someone to concretely say anything is super good or super bad without seeing at least some of it, or doing some research, and this business of blithely going along with what everyone else says just because they use big danger words does not do anybody any favors. Spreading misinformation is, I’m sure, the exact opposite of what most people want to do. And make no mistake, I am definitely not saying that everyone needs to like, or even watch, the show. If you never ever want to watch this show in your life, that is absolutely fine. Go forth and never watch it. But mindlessly following the herd and yelling overgeneralized, unsupported opinions about it is not a good thing. I beg of you, do research on the things you want to form or share an opinion on, think critically, and for the love of God, do not swipe a giant paintbrush to forsake every single individual fan of a show as a terrible, awful person. By all means, hate nazis, they are pieces of shit. Boycott things that support genocide and fascism, yes, fight for equality, yes. But do not go accusing without thinking, and do not overgeneralize. I leave you with the words of my old laptop bag that I bought years ago at a convention:

Make pasta, not war.

Thank you for reading.

[mis-calculated]

I'm sorry i mean this in the most well intentioned, i want to support good credible people and stand up for people who have been wronged or marginalized by shitty people in power but i am honestly very frustrated and tired by the large issue of cancel culture from all sides.

And this isnt to say that people who are documented to be shitty shouldn't lose their position of power to others way more worthy. But theres a lot of moving parts to it that make it way more complicated than people have a tendency to paint it and I'm just so frustrated and hurt by a lot of people.

I don't understand why the fuck internet celebrities, particularly in the youtube gaming sphere can't just be decent people for once in their life. And this isnt even from someone who "stans" their favorite celebrities or anything. When I engage with youtube I legitamentally just watch content creators I enjoy and sometimes allow myself to get inspired through them. I don't really engage in fandom culture, I hardly ever even super find it important to meet them at a convention, I literally just watch videos about games I enjoy where the creators seem nice and intelligent and inspiring in some way and just think about them as cool people I wouldn't mind being friends with if circumstances were different. And even after appropriatly distancing myself like everyone on this website says to do, I still end up getting hurt because the average celebrity apparently cannot handle their fame going to their head in some way. I'm angry at creators for letting themselves sink to these levels.

I'm also frustrated at everyone on all sides' inability to fully grasp the weight of what their content means to people and how it affects them. Im angry at content creators for not realizing that through theyre platform they do have a bit of a responsibility to their fans and that even a fan that engages on a healthy level with a piece of creative work is likely to be moved by it in some way. Im also angry at people that continue to perpetrate the idea that if you feel some sort of genuine hurt and sorrow towards media with eventually problematic creators, that you are also problematic and a shitty person for not dropping it immediatly. I am not kidding when I say I don't know how I would have made it through middle and early high school without the Harry Potter series, and I'd be lying if i said that it wasn't one of the most impactful things I read to my creative endeavors, as well as still being a comfort universe for OC's I have purely for myself. Does that mean I support J K Rowling being absolutly shitty towards trans people recently? As a fellow trans person, absolutly not. The Game Grumps Wind Waker playthrough is a series I literally watch at this point as one of the few things that can calm me down when I'm having a panic attack. I think I've been watching their playthroughs since I was twelve years old and whether people like it or not, it has affected me in a profound way. Does this mean if the current allegations turn out to be glaringly true, or others continue to come out, that I am supportive of these disgusting behaviors? Absolutly not. But it still fucking hurts like hell.

Another layer to this has been the rising conversation in the classical music community about the unfortunate reality that much of our musical canon is from old white guys, some of which with deeply racist or classist views. And yes. I genuinly think its so terrible and unfortunate that the only music we have record of reflects pretty much one singular demographic of people, while everything else was pretty much lost to the unpublished masses. I also want to continue to dedicate some of my musical efforts to continuing to support female, lgbt, or poc in the classical music scene who are unfortunatly fighting against more of an uphill battle than I can fully comprehend due to my own privilages. Last week a kid in the year below me made a comment about how infuriated he was that the music history professor talked about Wagner in class without mentioning his gross antisemetic views, which i think is pretty justified anger. I think its really important in mentioning in these figurehead composers, especially people like Wagner who's platform was grown from his antisemitism, both their work but also their moral problems. However, they then said that we should stop learning about Wagner because of the shitty things that he's done. And I've heard that same sentiment echoed all the time in classical music recently. And again I believe this is a way more complex issue where I have to disagree. Whether we like it or not, Wagner's music is directly related to an entire school of thought in music from his time, and is also a major reason in the way opera music shifted and why our modern film music exists. You cannot just extract Wagner from the history and merely learning about him doesn't mean you are continuing to perpetuate the ideas that he believed in or supporting him and providing him a platform. I would argue that not learning about him at all and being uninformed is almost worse in a way because that also leaves room for atrocities to be swept under the rug and lost to time that shouldnt be. But there are people around me that strongly disagree and may view me in a certain light because of it. And im just so frustrated with it.

I've done a lot of growing in the last year and i genuinly do want to be a better, and more informed person every single day. I am so overtly aware of some of the privilages i have due to merely my race that others do not and I continue to examine and reexamine how that affects the views that I hold and this situations that I find myself in.

But I'm also just so fucking angry at the people who screw up like this in the first place and also everyone who perpetuates the idea that media is simply just media and if youre upset youre probably also problematic.

This is a rant and a half and i apologize and hope it makes atleast some sort of coherent sense. I generally dont share my views on stuff like this because Im aware of the ways it comes off. Im just so tired and upset about the things that were important to me in my life getting tainted or ruined by people being shitty but also feeling like I don't have a right to mourn it. Thanks for reading.

[piisuke]

Tell me about your Jujutsu Kaisen, Fire Force, amd Bungo Stray Dogs ocs, I dont care how long the explanation is

Oh dear lord

Okay so I'm entirely uncreative when it comes to names, so my jjk and ff names are similar, and because I haven't experimented with my bsd oc that much they're unnamed (I actually haven't thought about a bsd oc until now? Bc they're based off of books and idk books that much lmaooo)

1) Jujutsu Kaisen: Kaimu Kageyama

So Kaimu is a teenager that does not want to be involved with the shaman world at all whatsoever. They've been able to see curses since they were a child, however they don't come from a clan of shamans, so everyone they told just thought they were hallucinations. Because of this she was in and out of the hospital and eventually she just gave up telling people and just accepted they were there.

Sometime during their junior year they attend Satozakura highschool and become part of the band club, where they meet Junpei. They only meet Junpei bc once the movie appreciation club and the band club had to share a room. They never talked to Junpei, and all they knew is all the sudden he stopped coming to school, there was the big attack at the school (they just so happened to be absent that day) and all the sudden Junpei was dead.

Now all the sudden Kaimu is being haunted by Junpei. Now they both think it's because Junpei is a guardian angel and Junpei thinks he's been sent back to earth to find Yuji, but it's ACTUALLY because Kaimu has the ability to summon shamans that have passed on to the afterlife.

So this whole ordeal begins because now they have this broody goth boy following them around on TOP of the curses that's pestering them about this pink haired idiot they've never heard of. Finally they give in and end up stalking Yuji's instagram to find out where he is so that MAYBE Junpei will leave them alone. Chaos ensues and they end up at an occult shop Yuji frequented before eating Sukuna's finger.

Now once Kaimu gets there, they're forced to take a cursed Kusarigama they don't want. When they refuse to take it, the shop keeper, which is actually a high intelligence curse, attacks them and forces them to fight back.

This queues Nobara and Megumi to show up (idk why they're there tbh just pretend it's a good reason). The kids are trying to get the Kusarigama away from Kaimu, the curse is trying to get them to fight, and Kaimu has no idea who to trust. Finally they go to give the weapon to Nobara, when the whole damn thing starts to wrap itself around them and absorb into their skin. Once their body has literally absorbed the weapon, Kaimu becomes "possessed" similar to Yuji, although they can't control it at first and they go feral. They kill the curse instantly and move on to Nobara and Megumi until Yuji and Gojo show up on scene. Gojo uses his weird power thingy to knock Kai out and on with the story

Kaimu totally wakes up in the same room Yuji does btw

In the beginning, Kaimu doesn't want to be there. They run away every chance they get, only to be chased and successfully caught by Gojo. They really hate Gojo at first too, because he's so sarcastic and smug and seems to be laughing at their pain, when rlly he's just trying to keep them on his side bc with proper training they might just be the strongest student either technical college has ever seen. They do have a power like no other.

Finally Gojo gets through to Kai and they decide to stay. Instead of Gojo adding them as a fourth new year, however, he decides to have the first and second years teach them everything they may need to know. It's kinda urgent they learn everything they can because now they have a target on their back larger than Yuji ever did.

Maki teaches them more about the cursed weapon their body possesses, bc it's kinda only happened once before. They learn that the weapon, in a sense, controls their body. It reacts more to anger and agression (for example, Megumi punched Kai, and while it did make Kai angry, they didn't have control when their arm punched Megumi back twice as hard.) Maki teaches them how to use the weapon once they summon it out of their body as well.

Yuji is in charge of helping regulate Kai's emotions so the weapon can come out at will (when Junpei isn't distracting them; no one else can see Junpei bc Kai hasn't made a formal contract with him yet). Sadly Kai has to go through the same movie training as Yuji does and gets punched many, many times.

Nobara is only in charge of teaching Kaimu to imbue their cursed energy into curses through their Kusarigama, but is inadvertently teaching Kai to come out of their shell. She also assists Panda, who's only function is strength training.

Megumi and Inumaki get the most important jobs: actually teaching Kai about their technique, and sign language. Hear me out

Megumi and Kai's techniques are very similar, because they're both creating contracts with things they can summon that help them in battle. While Megumi uses hand puppets, Kai has to sign the shaman's name they want to summon. So really the first person Kai even interacts with st the school is Inumaki.

At some point Sukuna gets involved. The Tokyo trio gets badly injured in battle, and Kai has only known Sukuna for a little bit but knows for a fact that Sukuna will only heal Yuji and leave the rest to die, so they decide to make a deal with Sukuna: they'll do whatever he wants as long as he kills the curse and helps save the rest.

Sukuna agrees, and the only thing he asks is that Kai saves everyone themselves, and he gets to call them into his domain to chat whenever he's wants. He unbinds the last seal on the curse inhabiting their body and watches him take over. Sukuna uses the same Abraxis curse btw.

Kaimu is able to control curse better now, and Sukuna informs them it's actually their dad from a thousand years ago and they're actually a half curse. Sukuna is indifferent on which side they choose, but he informs them that they can also summon and create curses, which is why a lot of shamans want them dead as well as the curses.

The story low key becomes Kaimu having to fight against their dad persuading them to be evil, and Yuji's protag abilities to make them good.

It's a mess.

Also this Kaimu is non-binary considering transitioning, and everyone is very supportive of it. When Kai gets their uniform, they're very worried that Gojo is gonna give them a skirt like the other girls bc they're afab, but they're very happy to learn they get pants with a bad ass cloak and hood that stops just below their elbows. Kai also gets a choice as to which dorm they get to stay in and they choose the boys dorms, who accepts them with open arms.

2) Fire Force: Kaimu Kusakabe

Yeah okay we Shinra and Shō's cousin

So this isn't revealed until later on in the story, but when Kaimu was a child, her mom died in what was believed to be an infernalization, but was actually a cover up. This was Shinra's aunt. Kaimu never got to meet Shinra until later on when she seeks him out.

Now Shinra's grandma refused to take him in after his mom died bc of his ability and because she thought he was a murderer. Grandma Kusakabe takes Kaimu in begrudgingly because Kaimu was able to suppress the ability she developed and Burns uncovered her step father had set it up to look like an infernalization when in reality he was abusing her.

Grandma moved Kaimu out to the country, away from people. There she meets a little boy around her age because she's sitting at a bus stop and the other neighborhood kids are making fun of her. The boy shoos them off and tries to make friends with her, but it doesn't work out well. She reveals she's waiting for her dad to come back from the military on the bus like he used to when she was little, but she doesn't realize that he's been dead for months because no one told her.

After a few weeks pass she begins to trust the boy she still doesn't know the name of. He's sorta pushy about being friends with her without being too overbearing. She stops pushing him away when she's sitting at the bus stop snd it starts to rain. She was just gonna sit there and suffer until an umbrella appears over her. The boy explains that he saw on the news it was going to rain and he knew she would be there. After teasing him for knowing there would be two people but only one umbrella, she accepts his offer to walk her home. This is a hint. Take it.

The kids really bond when she takes him to a desert full if skelton's that they really aren't supposed to go to but go to anyway. The boy thinks they're creepy, but Kaimu talks about how cool they are. They find a skull and Kaimu decides to keep it. This is also a hint.

Grandma Kusakabe ends up passing away, leaving Kaimu alone. She ends up being dragged away to an orphanage, where she lives until she's eighteen. The boy finds out when he noticed she hadn't come to the bus stop for a while and finds the house deserted. He takes the skull, which is one of the only things left behind, to what appears to be a workshop. There's a montage of the boy growing old, making the skull into a face mask, dying his hair, getting tattoos, etc. It's Vulcan. It was always Vulcan.

The story actually starts with Kaimu being kicked out of the orphanage. She decides to go on a hunt for this famous Devil's foot that she's heard about for thr past ten years because her grandma always talked about how terrible he was. She was furious when she learned she was being put into an orphanage while she still had a living relative (she just did not understand he was only a year younger than her).

When she arrives at Company 8, she's actually kinda rude, but Ōbi admires her spunk and finds it "cute" because she looks as innocent as Iris with her small frame, but is rlly fucking vicious. She's trying really hard to explain she's related to Shirna (look!! Red eyes!!! Pointy teeth!!! We look alike!!!) And it's going very poorly.

While Viktor conducts a dna test, Kaimu tries to find literally any reason to stick around, and she decides, for the first time since she developed her ability, to use it in front of others.

Kaimu is only a second generation pyrokinetic. She has the ability to take a flame in her hand and mix it with any type of metal and smelt it to whatever she needs. It's not a very offensive technique so she's mostly used it for defense in the past, or making cool trinkets. Vulcan is actually the one who persuades Ōbi to let her stick around, bc he has an odd sense of familiarity with her and can't place why.

I haven't really thought of a story for her yet other than backstory, but I've experimented with having her get bitten by a bug and being turned infernal, only to get shot by Hinawa and... Turns back. Low and behold the first first generation with the ability to go infernal at will-

3) Bungou Stray Dogs: ???

Yeah I haven't actually thought of an oc for this one? But I have had ideas in the past of a girl who has the ability to make people fall asleep and stay asleep as long as she wants. The only downfall is for every hour they don't sleep, that's an hour she doesn't sleep. I'm not sure if I want her to be a former Mafia member or part of the association, but I know I want her to be tied in with Dazai some how because of his absolute cancel ability. Just him tapping her shoulder and her being able to instantly fall asleep sounds cute to me idk

Have fun reading this shit show

[dartiri11]

Since the Beginning of your World

Hey Guys! This is a little special on my channel. So its a onepart. Its about the history of the Fierce Deity. In my fic it will have the name Kishin but thats not my idea! I love the name but i didnt create it. Well the Deitys history is a mystery no one can really solve. So i made my own story! I hope you like it. And ps: Horror Kid and Taya are still better names than Skull Kid and Tatl!

Warnings: Blood, pain and aaaaall the creepy stuff from Majoras mask :)

Was it over? He didn’t feel it anymore. He just felt pain. But not the pain he felt when it started. The pain he felt was a relaxing one. His throat hurt so much from screaming. Link tried to open his eyes but they shut again automatically. He tried once again and saw the bright sunlight. It burned in his face. Specially at his forehead and his cheeks. No, that wasn’t the sun. It was something different. But what?

Link tried to say something but only a silent groan came out of his mouth. When he looked around he saw a silhouette sitting infront of him. He was scared and wanted to run away, but his body hurt too much. Especially his shoulder. He felt blood running down his left arm. Link just lay there breathing. Completly exhausted.

He stared at the person who was sitting there. Is was the Happy-Mask-Salesman. He was holding something. It was purple with colorful spikes and freaking big eyes. Then his memories came back.

He was fighting inside the moon with a horrifying creature named Majora. He was loosing. The creature had its tentacles around him and choke him. It threw Link away like he was nothing. The Hero of Time was laying there as good as dead. In his last power he pulled out the mask he got a few moments before and put it on. Suddenly a deep pain ran through his body and he was screaming. Link never felt a pain like that. At that moment he felt like he was dying over and over again. It was so painful. But in the whole pain he felt power too. A power like the pain. New. A new expierience he never had before. And the young hero had seen a lot of things.

He could see nothing. Only white. But why white? A tall figure appeared infront of him. He looked like a knight. But much scarier. He had blue and red markings on his face. And white hair. The figure also had a tunic a bit like his own. Not in green, in white. Around the tunic was a shiny armour. On his back the man carried a huge sword and when he slowly came closer, Link tried to step back. But in his exhaustion he couldn’t keep his self and fell back down.

The person came closer.

And closer.

And closer.

Until he stood really infront of him. Link could see his eyes. There was nothing in his eyes. They were empty.

He was so scared. So he put his hands protecting infront of his face in fear he would die every moment. Where was Taya? Where was Navi? And where the hell even was Link?! He was alone in here. Alone with the scary person wich would kill him now.

But nothing happened. He looked at the person and saw a hand infront of his face. The hand probably was five times bigger than his own. The man was just standing there. Reaching for Links hand. He slowly put his hand into the mans and he pulled him up from the ground.

Now they were standing there hand in hand. Then the man started to talk. His voice was so strong and sounded not really human. It echoed like a ghosts voice.

"Lets beat this demon together, my child"

But then his memories clicked out.

It was over. Whatever happened, he defeated Majora. He tried to sit up and rubbed his head. His face was still burning but it was weaker than before.

"What happened...?" He asked tired and confused.

Then a fairy rushed over to him when it heared his voice. "Link! You finally woke up! I was so worried about you!"

He couldn’t belive his eyes or eares. "N-Navi?!" But with a short look his dream broke and turned into disappointment. Anyway he was happy Taya was at least there for him. Navi just left him...

No! He couldn’t think about Navi that way! She was Links partner and best friend. It hurt when she left him after their adventure. Like the others. He felt tears silently running down his face.

"Link? Are you okay? And who is Navi?" Taya asked and flew a bit closer to him.

He hastily wiped his teares away and tried to smile at Taya. "Nothing. Im fine, Taya."

"Ok? If you say that? Anyway, after you put on that mask, you grew and turned into a huge guy. And man, you fought that beast like a god. And i was not afraid! I fought on your side! Yeah... enough of my braveness. We saved everyone!"

The moon over the Clock Town was gone and all the people were save. He did it.

Link suddenly heared a quiet sobbing. "Im sorry. Im so sorry, Tael and Taya. I was a terrible friend, but you never left me! I can understand if you dont want to be my friends anymore..." a little Horror Kid cried.

Another Fairy appeared next to Taya. A black one. "Comon Sis, we should forgive him. He didn’t-"

"After all he did? He almost destroyed the whole country and if we hadn’t stopped him, hundrets of people would be dead!" Taya said angry, what made Horror Kid let his head hang down sadly.

"But that wasn’t really him. It was the mask! You know him. Horror Kid just wants to play. Dont be so strict, Sister." Tael said and Taya sighned.

The both fairies flew slowly over to the weeping Horror Kid. He hugged his friends and really started cry. For a few moments Link was just sitting there, watching them. He felt happy and sad at the same time, because it reminded him at Navi. Horror Kid calmed down a bit and let go his fairies from his tight hug.

"Lets go back into the woods. Then i can show you my home." He said to his friends. Horror Kid then looked at Link and almost flinched. "Thank you for stopping that creepy mask and saving me." The little woodcreature smiled. "You remind me at someone. Are you Kokiri?"

Link hastily shook his head. He wasn’t a Kokiri. Not anymore. Well he has never been. And he hated to think about it. Ok since his first adventure, he hated to think about everything that had something to do with his "home".

Taya came back to Link. "I think that means our goodbye. I- It was- Thank you Link." He just smiled.

The young hero decided to continue the search for Navi in the woods. It was late and he noticed Epona was tired, so they made camp. She looked so adorable when his little horse was sleeping. She moved in sleep a bit more than usual. But Link couldn’t blame her. The last three days were horrifying to Epona too.

At least his horse had a bit sleep. In that night he didn’t close an eye. He just sat there staring in the dancing flames of the campfire ignoring the pain in his shoulder. It was a deep bite. Whatever bit him there was huge. The for others scary sounds in the woods remembered him at all the nights he couldn’t sleep like now and played then hide and seek with his friends in the dark forest. But then a voice broke the silence.

"You are broken. What is it?"

He jumped back and looked around. "W-Who is there?" He slowly reached for his sword.

It was silent again. Epona just turn on her back with a soft snoring. Was that real? Or was he just so tired?

"Dont be afraid. I won’t hurt you."

When the voice appeared again, a low shine came out of his bag, wich was laying beside the campfire.

He slowly went towarts to it and carefully opened it. There were only his masks and other items.

"What are you waiting for? Take me out."

The shine and the voice came again. He dropped the bag and steped back. A few masks landed on the ground. Among them a glowing one. It was the scary one with the marks and the white hair. Was the huge man talking to Link?

It lost its shine and he picked it up. "Uhm... Hello?" He asked the mask suspicious.

"Hello, my child. I was waiting for you since the beginning of your world."

"Who are you?"

"I can tell you if you want."

Link looked at Epona. She was still sleeping like a rock. He sat on the ground and looked at the mask in his hands. Everytime it talked it started glowing.

"Ok? What do you mean with 'since the beginning of your world'? How old are you? Wait, and why do you call me 'my child'? That sounds stupid!"

"My name is Kishin and you already met Majora, right?"

He shook his body a bit as he thought about the creepy demon-mask. He just nodded and Kishin started telling a story Link would never have guessed.

"Once apon a time there were three godesses in the middle of nowhere. They had a plan together. To create live.

The three friends planned and laughed with each other. Until a universe was originated. The universe was empty yet. And they wanted to change that.

One of that three godesses was Hylia. Well i think you at least know her, right? Good, but im sure you dont know the others. Well the second one was Majora himself. And I, Kishin also known as the Fierce Deity, was the third one."

"Wait, Wait. Wait! That thing in the moon, WAS A GODESS LIKE HYLIA?!"

"You didn’t let me finish."

"Ok sorry, continue."

"Hylia was always the nice one of us. Majora was the absolute oppusite. He was more childish and cunning but he always made us laugh. I always knew how annoying he could be but Majora always has been our friend. He always called me a grump after he annoyed me a bit too much and i stopped him.

When we all started with our main world we planned for the universe, we gave our best to make the world so beautiful we can. Majora made all the dirt, rocks and fire. Hylia made all the coloures, air and water. And I made the spirits, feelings and lifes. A land was built piece for piece.

But how sad it was we never had the chance to finish like we planed. Then Majora loved the world we were creating together and wanted to have it for himself. But at that time he hid it and pushed that thought away.

Then, when Hylia was helping me designing a special species with technical skills, it happened. Majora just wanted to help me too but i didn’t want a guy like him designing the humans. He was my friend but i didn’t really trust him. He was sad and angry now. We were a lot arguing and the construction of that world was interrupted. A simple dispute turned into a real fight.

I fought with my sword and Majora with something he called Dark Magic. One of his crazy inventions. Hylia always held herself out of our problems, but this time she begged us to stop and just wanted to save her friends. But in his anger Majora attacked Hylia and i tried to block it. She was alright but i got deathly injured.

The shock to hurt a friend so bad let his power grow. He couldn’t control it anymore and his mind broke. My best friend turned right before my dying eyes into a demon. I knew that wasn’t Majora anymore. With my last power i grabbed my sword and killed it to protect Hylia. The last thing i feeled in my own body were tears running down my face and my friends blood burning on my skin."

"Whoaaaaa! Thats deep! What happened next?! Wait, do you even know that? Why can you know what happenes next?"

"Im a dead god."

"Ok that makes sense..."

"Would you please let me finish?!"

"Ok, sorry. Im just a bit disturbed that the thing that threw me against a wall was a dead god."

"Anyway, after her friends died, Hylia was very sad and missed us. And to save our souls she banned us into masks. And our little projekt? She couldn’t make it alone so Hylia created three other godesses to finish the world and create the things she couldn’t do alone. She called them Farore, Din and Nayru. They should show Courage, Power and Wisdom.

When it was finally done she called it 'Hyrule' and she also planted the humans i made but never had the chance to make them real. I don’t know why but Hylia sometimes does something i cant understand. She reincarnates us.

I think she sometimes creates a great evil and someone who can kill it, to see the evil fail. One of that evils is called Ganon. And dont freak out Link! The one to slay it... are you-"

Everything froze for Link and he felt tears well ing up in his eyes. He knew it. The Hero of Time was just another figure in nothing else than a game.

"NO!!! I won’t do this all anymore! JUST LET ME GO!!!"

He threw the mask in his hands onto the ground before it could even answer and started running. Running, just running. It was all he could do at the moment. He ran deeper into the woods.

It was cold, and he felt the cool nightair blowing into his face. The tears in his face felt freezing while he rushed through the forest. The woods used to be his home, but at the moment they were scary.

He was still running, until a root stopped him. Link fell with his face to the ground. He kneeled up and felt a tear falling down his face. One tear bacame two tears. He started sobbing. He felt all the pain and loss coming again and he cried it all out. He cird for Navi, for Taya, for all the people he saw dying infront of his eyes and for all the creepy things he saw ripping his soul out of his body. But most of all he cried for himself.

The deep night got colder and he started trembling. But that didn’t matter. He deserved it. He couldn’t save Darmani or Mikau or even the dekubutlers son. Or all the people of Termina. Link saw all of them die often enough. He was just a useless failure.

But suddenly he felt arms around him and his trembling got stronger. "Its ok kid. Everything is okay. You’re save." He looked up and saw the person that held him. It was Kishin.

-----

He knew the story would be confusing, but Kishin told him too much. The kid stood up and threw him away. Link shouted at him and ran away into the woods. He tried to stop him but the kid already was too far away. Damn mask! He couldn’t move!

His mask lay now directly next to Links little horse. It was awaken by his shouts and was now looking into the direction where the kid dissapeared. It was asking its self if it should follow its friend.

The foal didn’t notice the mask laying next to it. Maybe... well it was his only chance.

He started shouting and yelling at the horse. And it jumped up and neighed scared. The horse started kicking around and stood at the glowing mask. Yes! Finally!

The Fierce Deitys Mask broke and he felt free. Kishins vision grew. He looked at his self and couldn’t believe his stupid plan really worked. He wasn’t sealed anymore. He had a body!

The tiny horse infront of him looked afraid at him and ran away into the forest as well. He would get it back later but at first he had to find the kid.

He rushed away from the camp into the darkness. It felt amzing to run with his own feet. He stopped when he heared a small whimper and looked around. Kishin found the little kid kneeling on the ground. He was trembling and brokenly sobbing. Kishins heart hurt when he saw him like that in the creepy cold forest.

He came closer to Link and kneeled down next to him. The kid seemed he didn’t noticed the huge man sitting next to him. Kishin wrapped his arms around him and pulled the boy closer to him.

The Hero of Time tried to fight against something he hoped he never had to see again. His brother. And the next to Majora tiny child wouldn’t win. Link was a good fighter, but nothing against that deamons torture. Majora could have killed him with one hit, but he was defenitly playing with his victim. That really looked like his brother. But more violently. Kishin tried to help the kid but he had no chance. He was trapped in this mask. He couldn’t even speak to him. When the child was almost defeated he finally pulled out his mask. Finally! He could help him! Link put on the mask.

The kid was in his mask as well. His forestgreen tunic stained with blood. He looked scared. Kishin helped him up and tried not to seem terrifying. "Lets beat this deamon together, my child." He said and Kishin felt power and freedom in him. His vision vanished and appeared on Majora again. He stood up and got the Helix-Sword from his back.

"Kiii.......shiiin...." The creature infront of him hissed. It stood there ready to fight. Where should have been hands, there were long tentacles. They were colourful like its whole body. The deamon used them like whips.

Before he got...that... Majora used whips as well. Like Kishin had his sword, or Hylia had her bow. He also had a trident. But it was just his second weapon. Majoras trident was far faster than Kishins sword but it was less powerful. To his luck, the savage beast that was once called his brother didnt show to have a trident. Just whips.

On its chest was a colourful symbol of two terrifying eyes staring at him. Around the eyes there were markings. The same markings Majora had in his face. Evey god has markings. He had red and blue stripes. Even Hylia has markings in her face. Under her eyes were some things similar to wings. He even made her a gift. He created a animal wich should be the symbol of her markings. She loved it an called it a 'Loftwing'. Kishin would never forget her beautyful face. And he could never ever forget Majoras true identity. How he was before...before Kishin ruined everything.

He looked at Majoras awful appearence and felt his heart hurt. 'Its all my fault' he thought.

"Never...thought to see...you-" Kishin saw Majora charging and made himself ready to jump away. "-AGAIN!" Majora attacked with one of his whips but Kishin could dodge it.

"That isn’t you, Majora! I know it! Please!" He begged. But Majora didn’t answer him and awfully screeched at him. The dead deity didn’t care but suddenly felt the kids body flinch. He started running towarts Majora and jumped at him. Kishin rose his Sword and tried to hit the creature. But Majora blocked him perfectly and hurled one of his whipes at his former brother. The whip hit Kishin and wrapped itself around his ankle. The deamon god threw him through the whole room, or moon, he didn’t knew exactly. He violently hit the wall.

Kishin stood up and picked up his sword again. 'I hope the kid is alright...' he thought. He stormed to him again and dodged the whipes coming towarts to him. Kishin waited for the next whip trying to hit him and cut it off. Majora screamed and they both looked at each other. Exhausted and fierce at the same time.

"Why...why did you do that all? Why did you enter Termina? And why do you want to destroy it?!" He asked the deamon in rage.

The only response was a screech. But it this time sounded like laughter. Majora was laughing at him. Ignoring the blood running down his body and falling onto the offcutted piece of his left whip laying on the ground. Then he bagan to speak. "My original...plan.....to destroy....what created!" More screeching laughter was to hear and a wide grin appeared on his friends face. "I...created world and moon...want them see...destroying...EACH OTHER!" Majora jumped at him again. This time it was more unexpected. But he dodged it again. "Hyrule...to well protected...Horror Kid...to weak..." Majoras breathing was loud and strong, but it was ratteling too. "Hylia knew...would destroy...her loved Hyrule...Pathetic! Brought Horror Kid...my mask to Termina....also courage and you...to KILL ME!" Majora yelled at him in rage but he didnt attack.

"Courage? You mean the kid?"

The deamon stared at him and a wide grin rose on his face. "Kid? You...like it?"

Kishin froze. He said too much, but he tried to stay cool. The savage deamon shouldn’t know his weakness. Useless. Majora already knew.

The beast sprinted towards him and threw his one whip at Kishin. He dodged it and was ready to attack his brother. But the creature threw his whip again. And the Fierce Deity was too slow this time.

The whip wrapped itself around his shoulders and choke him. He couldn’t move. With his only weapon left now, Majora dug his sharp large teeth into Kishins shoulder. He screemed without even noticing it. Kishin himself didn’t feel the pain, but he felt the kid feeling it. That was enough to make his heart hurt. Well if a dead god could have a heart.

Kishin tried to swing his sword but could barely move. The small move he was able to do was enough to cut off Majoras other whip. The creature screeched and let go of his shoulder. The god used his chance and rose his sword. It slided through the coulorful flesh of Majoras chest. His last scream was fierce and screeching. It almost hurt in Kishins or the kids ears.

Majora sunk to his knees and his screaming stopped until everything that was to hear was exhausted breathing. Coming from both of them.

"You...know......you’re........weak..............to...weak....but.......although...you’re..............weaker.....than...me..you....always.......manage....it....to................protect......someone...............h-how?!" Majora said with exhaution in his voice.

It hurt to see his brother like that. "Because i don’t want to hurt anyone. But you hurt the kid. And the kid also just wanted to protect the people." He said cold as ice but a part of him knew that he was failing to seem cold.

Majora rose his head to look into his brothers face. "Thank.........you........" he said with a diffrent, clear vioce. Less demonic. Everything froze for Kishin. The look Majora gave him was warm. Well as warm as a savage deamon could be. That was not the deamon he fought. That was his brother.

Kishin wanted to help him but in that moment everything began to shake and Majoras body started to glow.

The room vanished and he started falling. The whole started spinning until he hit the ground.

"Its ok kid. Everything is okay. You’re save. You have gone through enough for now." He said and felt the child trembling in the cold of the deep night

[milknette]

day 15 - mythical creatures

how i miss yesterday, and how i’d let it fade away.

tumblr month: @auyeahaugust

links: ao3 | ff.net

THE Agreste Mansion could have been beautiful, if not for the overgrown greenery and rusted fence that decorate the estate's exterior.

It looks like the textbook definition of what a haunted house is.

Marinette should be scared.

Instead, she takes out her cellphone, turns it on, faces the camera, and...

Goes live.

"Hey everyone, Marinette here!" She starts, waving almost awkwardly at the camera. (Thousands of viewers come storming into the live in seconds.) "So… welcome to the Ladybug— crap, I mean, the Ladyblog!"

Noticing that the camera is angled a little too low, she shifts to show herself better.

(Wow, she really is bad at this.)

"As you all know, or maybe you don't, haha… I'm heading the vlog for today!" She tries to smile, but it's clearly panicked. "Alya couldn't come back with me to Paris, unfortunately, and you all really wanted to see us cover the Agreste story so…," she moves along with the camera, trying to show off her surroundings.

(Nobody watching has the heart to tell her they can't see anything because her head's covering half the screen.)

"I'll be heading this adventure myself!" Marinette scratches her head awkwardly, and almost drops her phone as she hears a sudden crack! behind her. "Ohmygod what was that—"

She immediately turns the camera, only to notice a black cat pass behind her.

Its vivid green eyes almost make her shudder.

"Black cat," Marinette mutters to herself. "Sure, like I didn't know this was a terrible idea already.

She remembers a little too late that she's still online.

"I mean! This is going to be fun! Let's do this!"

The chatbox is filled with messages, but they all really say the same thing:

This is going to be a trainwreck.

But I am going to enjoy absolutely every minute of it.

(She pointedly ignores these messages and goes forward.)

Marinette walks towards the estate, using a key to unlock the rusted gate to the Agreste residence.

"If you're all wondering how I got entry to this place," she starts. "One of our subscribers actually helped us out," she turns towards the camera and smiles. "So Chloé Bourgeois, thanks a lot!"

(Yeah, thanks for giving her no choice but to go through with this video.)

"If it weren't for you, this video wouldn't be possible at all."

The gate opens with a resounding creaaaaak and Marinette has to force the unbothered smile on her face.

"Alright, let's go in."

.

.

.

[ INSTAGRAM STORY: maribug ]

"Hi guys! In case you don't know the story of the Agrestes, please swipe up with an article Alya wrote on the story below. As usual, be warned for creepy content!"

The Mysterious Disappearances of the Agreste Family

Almost five years ago, the Agrestes were the so-called 'it family' of Paris, France. Their family consisted of top fashion designer Gabriel, his beautiful wife, Emilie, and their only son, Adrien— a teenage model for his father's brand early on. In the public's eyes, this was a picture-perfect family.

However, this was soon revealed to be a ruse.

In 20XX, Emilie Agreste suddenly passed away. The family refused to comment and held a private funeral. A few weeks later, residents were surprised to find large fences erected around the residence, gating outsiders from entering the home. Father and son withdrew from contact with the outside world, aside from secretary Nathalie Sanceour and Adrien Agreste's unnamed personal bodyguard, nicknamed 'The Gorilla'.

Any media or news shared about the family were quickly taken down. For a long time, any and all information about the death of Emilie Agreste was removed— presumably by the husband himself.

News on the Agrestes stayed quiet for a year, until Adrien was spotted attending a local high school.

This was only for a day. After finding out about Adrien's attempted "escape", he was quickly returned to the premises and brought home.

The school refused to comment when we asked for an interview.

Due to limited information, little is known about what happened next.

The most accepted story, however, is that after Adrien was returned home, the Agrestes completely dropped off the radar. Even Gabriel Agreste was completely unreachable to his company.

Both Nathalie Sancoeur and 'The Gorilla' we're suddenly fired and removed from the premises without warning.

After a year of silence from the family, Sancoeur was finally given a warrant to enter the Agreste Mansion with the police force.

The mansion was empty. In fact, it seemed that nobody had occupied the space in months. A written report states that a cup of coffee Sancoeur remembers making from Mr. Agreste, on the day of her sudden termination, remained to be on his desk.

No sign of forced entry or violence was taken note of. They had just… disappeared.

A nationwide search was held to find the father-son duo, but to no avail. They were not found alive nor dead. The police soon branded this a cold case and filed it away.

Sancoeur was given control over the Agreste brand. 'The Gorilla' was also rehired to be her assistant.

Both declined to comment and continue to avoid topics talking about the Agreste family.

The mansion has been left untouched since then.

Until now.

(Please follow TheLadyblog on Instagram, tomorrow by 8PM vlogger Marinette Dupain-Cheng will visit the abandoned residence!)

.

.

The house is huge.

Marinette enters into a large foyer, run-down from years of neglect and disrepair. The pristine white of the walls have faded into a dull gray, complemented with spiderwebs in almost every corner. She holds her flashlight almost like a weapon.

Then, she switches to the front camera and shows the audience her surroundings.

"As you can see, the house seems untouched from when its previous owners lived here," Marinette begins, holding back the need to shudder. "Chloé messaged me that she ensured nobody else lived or even came in its vicinity," she explains, her tone turning more empathetic. "Apparently she and Adrien used to be friends, and she's still hoping that he'll come back to claim the house someday."

(Personally, Marinette doesn't think that he will— doesn't think he can, really— but decides to keep that little fact to herself.)

She turns the camera back to her.

"So anyway, I was given a floor plan to the building," she continues, raising up a piece of paper and showing it to her viewers. "Since the mansion is huge, and I can't possibly visit all the rooms tonight, tell me where you want to go!"

The comments flood in, and the answer is unanimous:

The previous room of Adrien Agreste.

.

.

Marinette opens the door carefully.

The door squeaking isn't that loud, but it echoes throughout the corridor and makes things so much creepier than they have to be.

She bites her lip, and enters the room— which takes up almost the entire second floor story.

Arcade stations, computers, games, books, and CDs fill up the entire floor. A television screen almost three times bigger than she is lays upon the wall. A basketball half-court decorates one side of the room. There are more doors which likely lead to other things to see, but she decides to check that later on.

"Okay, I don't think I'll do this room justice with a phone camera and a flashlight for lighting, but this is amazing," Marinette raves. "I feel like this is a teenage boy's dream room. Honestly, it's my dream room." She laughs to herself lightly, turning the front camera on. "Though I'd maybe change out the basketball court for my personal sewing space."

(Marinette briefly wonders why anyone would want to leave such a place, but dismisses the thought almost immediately; realizing that none of it could be enjoyed at all if she were alone.)

In fact, standing in the middle of it at that moment made her feel much lonelier than she was previously.

Except, she's not alone.

But Marinette's too busy looking around to notice the increasingly panicked messages of her viewers:

do yall

u all see that right…..

ohmygod is-

IS THAT REAL WTH

MARINETTE OMG

PLEASE TURN AROUND

RUN? DONT LOOK BACK?

PROTECT OUR SWEET SUMMER CHILD

I CANNOT WATCH ANOTHER LIVE WHERE SOMEONE GETS MURDERED PLS

CHECK UR MESSAGES GIRL !

Noticing her phone buzz with messages, she clicks on the tab that opens them.

Marinette's eyebrows wrinkle together.

"What are you guys talking abou—"

A scream, the sound of her phone cracking, and the live video suddenly being turned off.

well, there goes ½ of the ladyblog…

.

.

Alya wakes up to her phone overflowing with messages.

The first one she reads is extremely straightforward:

HELP I THINK MARINETTE'S DEAD

So understandably, she does what any good friend would do.

Think it's a prank set up by Marinette (for making her hold the live without her), get irritated, send her a 'haha nice try mari but dead is a stretch' message, then immediately go back to sleep.

Marinette, however, never gets the message.

.

.

It's easy to panic when death's staring you right in the face.

So she does, because death is quite literally staring right at her.

In the form of a sixteen-year-old boy whose face she knew all too well from all the hidden fashion magazines her teenage self hid under her bed.

Adrien Agreste.

(Well, at least now the question of did-he-live was answered. A stone-cold, dead, nope!)

And also, ghosts really do exist— who knew?

(The so-called paranormal expert didn't, apparently.)

The ghost moves toward her, as she scrambles away, her back suddenly hitting the wall.

"Please, if you're gonna kill me, do it quick," Marinette replies, rushing through the words. "I don't know how angry you ghosts are, but I swear violence isn't the answer. It'll solve nothing and make me dead so let's maybe move away from that—"

Adrien tilts his head, and it almost looks human. (Maybe if his head hadn't done a complete three-sixty at that exact moment, she would've calmed down. Instead, and understandably, she panics more.)

"Hey, hey! Don't worry, I'm not going to kill you."

"You aren't?" She asks, then suddenly horrified (and almost embarrassed), covers her body with her hands. "Don't possess me! Look, I'm a klutz and have literally no coordination. You don't want me! Actually, I can get you better bodies! I have this friend named Alya…"

(Marinette isn't sure why, but she feels extremely irritated with her best friend for some reason.)

The ghost laughs.

And it doesn't echo ohmygod he really is dead and she really is going to die and all this drama for a bunch of views what has she become—

He floats closer to her, and smiles. "I won't possess you either," he replies. "You can keep your body."

"... then, what do you want?"

"Well, I don't really want anything."

"Really?"

He looks almost amused. "I mean, you were the one who broke into my house. I guess I'd like to know why."

Okay, fair.

Marinette looks almost sheepish when she responds, realizing how dumb her reasoning actually is:

"Well, I'm a paranormal vlogger…"

.

.

Marinette has done a lot of strange things in her life.

But this— talking to a ghost about YouTube of all things, is probably the weirdest of all.

(The really terrifying thing about it was how comfortable she actually felt about it.

Talking to Adrien was terribly easy that you couldn't help but let your guard down.)

He looks at her with wide-eyed awe. "That's amazing! And I can't believe I get to be included in your video!"

She smiles lightly. "Well, you are kind of a big deal…"

"I never knew fashion meant that much to so many people!"

(The truth was that they knew Adrien because of his disappearance and the conspiracy around his family, but she decides against mentioning it. Though, it's quite strange to be so cautious of hurting a ghost, of all things.)

"Yeah," Marinette replies instead. "I used to collect your magazines, you know?"

Adrien brightens up. "Dang, you're a fan of me?" He bows down, and his head almost falls over. (She finds herself laughing.) "I'm honored, milady."

"Milady?" She asks teasingly. "What era are you from?"

"Hey—! Technically, we're the same age." He protests, before suddenly quieting down. "I guess I'd be twenty now, huh?"

The mood shifts, and Marinette can't do anything about it.

"... I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he only says. "I guess I'm just a little sad that I never really got to experience being a teenager. Y'know, being normal." He laughs to himself. "And even after death, I'm still not. Being stuck here and all."

Quiet.

"Do you mind if I ask what happened…?" Marinette begins, her voice soft. "Not that you have to answer but… it was so sudden when everyone got the news you were gone."

Adrien sighs. "I'm not sure myself," he explains. "My dad… he thought there was some way to bring her back. Bring my mom back to life. And he did things, some dark things, but they didn't work… and before I knew it, he was gone, and I was stuck like this."

He gestures down at himself. "I can't even leave the house, can you believe it? I've just been here and alone for years…" Then, a smile. "Until you came along."

"I'm glad I can be of some company," Marinette replies, smiling back.

(It's strange— so strange, but she feels connected to him in ways she's never felt connected to anyone.)

"I'm glad that the company who showed up was you."

At that, Marinette decides on an idea.

She stands, and gestures for him to follow.

"You're a ghost, so you can't touch things, right?"

"Yeah… but I can move them. I learned a lot of ghost skills while I was stuck here."

She smiles. "Great."

"What do you mean?"

Marinette walks over to the foosball table, groaning from years of neglect, and places her hands on it. "I may not be able to bring you back, but I can let you experience what it feels like to be a teenager." She tilts her head, pointing towards the game.

"Let's play?"

.

.

They play games late at night and into the early hours of the morning.

Marinette has never seen someone enjoy her company that much— like she had given him the whole world, and everything he'd ever wanted.

It makes her heart soar, to see him so happy.

They take a break as the clock tells them it's almost three in the morning.

Marinette settles into the couch, with Adrien lying down as he floats over her.

"I'm sorry you had to play with me," she starts. "Not really great at sports. And I can get pretty intense when it comes to online games."

Adrien only smiles at her, without a hint of irritation or regret. "No, this was perfect. It's the most fun I've had in a long time." He laughs. "Maybe ever. And I'll never forget this, no matter how long I stay like this."

She frowns as the words leave his mouth.

(Wasn't the thing tying him to the real world his failure to experience his life as a teenager?)

Marinette says it aloud.

"If only it were that simple," he responds, almost sad. "But I don't think that was ever the reason."

"Then what is it?"

"..."

"Adrien?"

"..."

"I won't judge it or anything. Please, I want to help."

Adrien sighs, then looms over her, the expression on his face almost breaking her heart. "It's corny, but… I wanted to experience love." He finally says. "After my mom died, I was locked away. I never felt my dad's love, and Nathalie cared for me, but that was it. My mom was the last person who ever loved me. I just wish I could've experienced that feeling one more time."

"...

I loved you."

"What?"

Marinette looks up at him, vulnerable. Her hands curl up into balls as they grab at the couch.

"I don't know if you remember me," she begins shakily. "But I was there that day you went to the high school."

"..."

"It was raining. And it was only for a moment, but you lent me your umbrella because I forgot mine," she laughs to herself. "I'm sure you don't remember me but…"

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

"... how did you know that?"

"Marinette Dupain-Cheng," he repeats. "I remember that name. I talked to Miss Bustier over the phone then, and she told me you were the first person I should find when I came to class. She told me you'd make me feel right at home. Adrien looks up at her, and smiles. "I guess she was right."

At that, Marinette feels her mouth tilt upward. "Took you a long time to find me, huh?"

"Better late than never, though?"

They share a laugh, before Adrien continues. "I was really looking forward to meeting you," he says. "And somehow, I knew it was you when I gave that umbrella. You just gave that feeling of home Miss Bustier was talking about… and I was so desperate to have you know me that the umbrella was my way of doing so. Even if I never gave my name, I hoped that somehow, in some way, you'd remember me." He smiles. "And you did."

"... I don't know what to say."

"I think I loved you then," Adrien says, almost to himself. "I just didn't know it yet."

They stare at each other for a moment, and Marinette feels her heart break and be whole at the same time.

The sun starts to show itself, peeking through the clouds.

"... I won't see you again anymore, will I?"

Adrien doesn't even have to nod for her to know his answer.

"Maybe I'll take back my, 'I love you', then."

He laughs.

"I don't like having to lose you all over again."

He makes his way to her, then presses a kiss to her forehead.

(She knows that ghosts can't touch her, but the warmth that spreads from his touch isn't anything short of real.)

"Good luck with your YouTube channel."

It's Marinette's turn to laugh.

"Are you sure those are what you want your last words to be?"

Adrien hums.

"I guess you're right," he replies softly. "I'll go with this then:

I love you, Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

And as the sun rises, she suddenly finds herself alone.

.

.

Marinette rushes home to use her laptop.

She scrolls through the messages— all assuming she's died, and dials a number she knows by heart.

"Oh thank God you're alive, I was so worried about you!"

"I saw your message, Alya."

"Oh. Haha, well! How was I supposed to believe that an actual ghost showed up on your live?"

"I guess you're right."

"... so, is it true? Was the ghost real? Is the Agreste mansion haunted?"

Marinette pauses.

Then, almost too softly for her to hear, she says it:

"Not anymore."

[twentytwoyearoldchild]

The First Post

To be honest, I’m not expecting anybody to read these or actually find them, or even care. 

This is for me. Be it for the sake of journaling, therapy, word vomit, whatever. 

An opportunity to let go. 

I guess I’ll start from the top

Shit’s been weird as fuck; as it has been for a lot of people. It was my last day of uni forever the day we shut down for the first covid quarantine, my apartment lease was up in a few months, and I didn’t have a job anymore. I was fortunate enough to have extended family in the area with whom I could move in with after my lease was up. Fast forward a few months and I’m home again. 

I really thought I had overcome a lot of shit I was dealing with when I moved out after high school. I had a routine, it wasn’t always healthy but it got me through. But damn has it hit hard since I’ve been back at home. Don’t get me wrong, I love my parents, they’re good parents; they’ve grown a lot since I’ve been away. But there’s always something that doesn’t change. Or, it’s evolved in a weird way that’s not as bad but still like an “are you kidding me,” type of vibe. 

I can’t believe I’m still being so fucking vague, like no matter how hard I try I can’t just say it, fuck I cant even type it. 

How do I even streamline everything in my head. I’ve never thought about how I feel cause it makes me mad, and I don’t like being angry. I don’t like how it makes me feel. 

Why the fuck I have so many issues coming from a family that wasn’t terrible, just had it’s little quirks, beats me. 

My mom, I love her to bits, she works her ass off for us and I am eternally grateful for that. Our relationship hasn’t always been good, it only really improved until after I turned 19. We used to fight a lot. But not in the fist fighting sense. It was mostly me doing things she didn’t want me doing but I did any way so she just yelled at me all the time. She used to hit me and my siblings when we were kids. She never beat us until we turned blue, and it didn’t make her a bad mom when she would tell me to grab her heels instead of a belt. 

I have never talked about this memory, thought about this memory, it is one I like to keep locked away. I must have been 8, we had just recently moved the year before. I remember running upstairs, my mom was chasing me, yelling at me. Saying she was gonna beat me until I bled. I remember being cornered, screaming, crying, looking up at her, and that’s all I remember. That’s where the memory ends. My memories don’t pick up again until I was about 11 years old. 

I used to hate her for it, but I know now that she was just coping with her anger the only way she knew how, and I don’t blame her for it. It was normal for her, it was normal for us. 

Wow I feel like I went off track, but hey there’s your not so tragic backstory, just a kid with a mom who had anger issues sometimes. UGH man I hate talking about this. Cause I know it could have been worse. I think that’s one of the reasons I have never talked about it, wrote about it, or anything, is cause it could have been worse. What point is there in telling someone if it doesn’t change anything. Like why the fuck am I so altered by a childhood that wasn’t even that bad. 

Anyway

Because of that we used to fight a lot. 

My mom is your typical girly girl, does her nails, and im not gonna lie she is very pretty. She takes good care of herself. 

I am very much the opposite. I got into alt-rock at an early age and fell in love with being all angsty. I cut my hair off, wore baggy band tees, black skinny jeans, and topped it off with my huge ass DC sneakers. I pierced my own ears a few times, pierced my friends ears. I tried piercing my LIP when I was 10, the needle only went in half way. That shit still makes me laugh. 

Basically, I looked like a little emo boy and I liked it. I liked the way people would avoid looking into my eyes, or would look away quickly, or called me sir. I think I liked it so much only because my mom hated it. 

She used to be very... vain? I mean low key still is, but whatever. Right about 10 years old is when I remember my mom making comments about my weight. I did sports in school, but it was never enough to stop my mom from telling me I was too heavy, or that I wasn’t sucking in my stomach enough. There were other things going on at home that I think snowballed it but that’s for another time.

I’ve never called it an eating disorder but I guess that’s what it was. What it is. It wasn’t debilitating, I never got underweight, I looked normal and healthy. It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. I stopped eating, I tried puking, I started binging. Not enough to cause attention, just enough to feel in control because I didn’t know how else to deal with everything going on. 

After I moved out, I thought I had moved past it. I really thought I was doing something, and getting buff, that was the goal: get ripped as fuck. I was going to the gym 6 days a week, for an hour or two, lifting weights. But I wasn’t eating. I had no idea I wasn’t eating, I was just busy. Always busy. 

I didn’t realize how much it affected me until last year. An acquaintance of mine asked me if I was “ok” because I was looking “really thin”. Never in my Life had I heard those words directed at me, ever. That shook me So Hard. 

I don’t want this to be a dunk on my mom, I love her so much, and she’s grown so much as a person and as a mother. I’ve forgiven her. Which is why this shit makes me so mad ‘cause it’s like, “I’ve forgiven her but why can’t I make it stop,”

TLDR;

Okay All of this to say: Im back home 

quarantine has definitely fucked up my weight, as it has for many others. but now being back at home with my mom telling me everyday 

wow ur getting fat

if u dont exercise youll get fat

I see your double chin you need to loose weight. 

like WHY is it fucking me up. why is my parents fighting and ignoring each other again still fucking me up. Why cant i sit down tune that shit out and just fucking work like i need to. Why cant i fucking eat. why is it so hard to just say “i need help but i dont know how”

It’s been a week and I have totally ignored everyone that’s been reaching out to me.

Why do I feel so guilty.

Man, I feel like such a whiny bitch baby. 

[angrylizardjacket]

time’s arrow {Roger Taylor}

Anon asked: Hi, I love your roger/ben imagines so much and was wondering if you could do some angst with Roger x female, maybe they are good friends and she sees him with another. Whatever you would like! Thank you x :)

A/N: 2727 words. A story told through Seasons. I took a little bit of liberties with the prompt, if that’s okay? This hit me like a lightning bolt and I had to write it. Angst with a happy ending. (I’m just trying to show I’ve got versatility in writing, okay?)

Warnings: Implied sex.

You meet him in Spring, before it all begins, he sits up the back of your Intro to Head and Neck Anatomy lectures, the only class with open spots available by the time you were looking for a science credit. You find out he’s in a band three weeks into the first class, finally going to the local bar, sick of cramming your brain full of information you’re not even sure is necessary for your degree. He grins at you and wow okay, you didn’t even think he’d recognise you.

“You’re in, um,” he’s leaning against the bar next to you in this dimly lit pub, grabbing a drink between sets. Faltering for a moment, his eyes travel down before you clear your throat, angry at yourself for blushing, but his smile widens, “my class.” He finishes, taking a sip of his beer. You agree, rolling your eyes at him, but even that seems to amuse him. He asks your name. The guitarist is calling him over, setting up for the next set, but you tell him before he leaves. Something tightens in your chest when, later that night, he catches your eyes mid-song, his look of intense focus shifting for a moment as he grins, giving you a wink.

He takes to sitting next to you in lectures, chewing the end of his pencil and taking occasional notes in a falling apart notebook that looks as though he uses it for every class. You catch lyrics in the margins and at the bottom of some pages, but he’s cagey about that in a strange way, just says you’ll have to come to a gig to find out what they’re about. So you do.

Gigs become a regular for you, and you start to become friends with the girls who frequent the shows, often hosting predrinks in your dorm room for Mary and her friends on a Friday night. You learn on one of those nights that at least two of the girls have hooked up with him, and there’s a strange, sinking sensation in your chest. You’re not sad, or at least, you tell yourself you shouldn’t be. You and Roger are just friends, it’s not like there’s anything going on there, sure, sometimes after a really good show he’ll give you a pash, but it’s- that’s just him. 

It’s not like you’ve never thought about it, but you also know his reputation, and that it’ll do more harm than good to get involved with that. He’s the one mistake you don’t think you want to make.

It’s Summer, a few years later, when they trade in the van to get money to hire the recording studio. Roger had really loved that van, and he lay on your sofa for a solid hour grumbling about it, about how Freddie had some kind of nerve. You roll your eyes at him, call him a drama queen, which he takes offence to, but moves obligingly when you sit down, letting him rest his head in your lap.

When you raise the point that it might be worth it, he looks frankly aghast, griping about how he has to catch lifts everywhere now. He calms down somewhat when you start carding your fingers through his hair, though he still pouts.

“If it comes to it, I’ll buy you a car, you baby.” You snort, despite the fact that you’re currently barely making a living wage on some retail job, it’s not where you’d thought you’d be after university, but sometimes that’s just how it is. He looks up at you, and when you look down at him, he’s looking very intense. Perhaps he might say something poignant about your offer, you think, but instead he reaches up and pokes your nose.

“I can see up your nostrils.” He tells you, and you smack his hand away, scowling. You stand abruptly, ignoring his complaints, smoothing your pants out against your thighs.

“Come on,” you offer your hand, which he regards with both confusion and a bit of disdain, “you can’t mope around my apartment and complain about the band again. We’re going out.” That gets his interest.

You’ve been to bars with him before, and usually you go home alone while he gets the pick of the prettiest girls of the night, or he decides to wingman you, which hurts your heart a little, but you won’t decline. You were attractive in your own right, you won’t deny that, you didn’t technically need his help, but a selfish part of you likes the way the attention to you, even if it’s to help you get with other people.

Tonight is different, tonight he doesn’t leave your side, he slings an arm around you as the two of you stand by the bar watching the truly mediocre band they had on that night. 

“You know why they aren’t recording an album?” You ask as the set ends.

“Because they didn’t sell their van?” Roger mused, vaguely bitter, but not melancholy as he swirled the last of his drink in his free hand.

“No, it’s because they’re terrible.” Turning, you smile at your own blunt remark, and when he looks back at you, he’s grinning with a little disbelief. There’s very little space between the two of you, but that doesn’t make your heart race anymore, he’s your best friend, close contact was part of the bargain. But he kissed you, quickly, without warning, and when he pulls back, he turns away to order another drink like nothing had happened.

Your mind is spiralling, this isn’t post-gig excitement, this wasn’t something you were expecting. The selfish creature in your chest that you tried to deny for so long was crowing with victory. Taking a quick look around the bar, you don’t recognise anyone, though there are a few girls who look like they’d be his type- but his hand is moving to wrap around your waist as he turns back.

“What was that?” Voice quiet, you take his drink and have a sip of it yourself, the movement done from muscle memory alone. He raises his eyebrows at you, not regarding the drink, that was a usual occurrence, but at the question. He doesn’t seem to know how to answer, baffled at the question. Dropping you gaze, you take a sip of your own drink. “Why me? Why tonight?” You asked. Looking incredulous, he stepped back, looking you over.

“Have you seen yourself tonight, love? Couldn’t help myself.” You’ve heard him talk like this before, to other girls, not as blunt, but with you he can get away with it. The creature in your chest is elated, and you find yourself smiling, actually blushing. He moves closer once more, his arm around you, voice low as he spoke into your ear. “Trust me, you look very fit tonight, any man would be lucky to have a crack at you.” Heart in your throat, you hope you’re reading the situation right, at the same time ignoring the part of you that knew this was a bad idea.

“Even you?” You turned to face him, watching the way his smile shifted to a smirk, and he pulled you a little closer.

“You know I’m always feeling lucky.” 

You kiss him, feeling your blood thumping in your veins, selfish and excited in equal measure, but with his hands on you, you can’t find the focus to care about the former. 

Once the bad starts up again, Roger pulls away, making a face at them, asking if you wanted to get out of there. You do, and the two of you are elated on the quick walk back to his apartment, stopping only when he pressed you up against the wall of an closed shop to suck a hickey into the skin of your neck. You catch sight of it in his bedroom mirror, but he’s pulling off your jacket and you have better things to worry about.

It’s not weird, like you thought it would be, when you wake the next morning and he’s curled up, fast asleep with his back to you, but your chest aches just a little. He avoids eye contact over breakfast, though you chat like normal. The gripes about his van have died down, though he makes an offhand comment about things are changing that you read enough into to realise what had happened.

“You’ll always have me, Rog.” You reach across the table to take his hand, and he finally looks you in the eye, he looks so relieved, not that he’d ever say it. Afraid of losing another thing he cared about, he had panicked last night and tried to keep you close in the only way he knew how. He certainly loved you, but not in the way you wanted him to. Giving his hand a gentle squeeze, you give him a smile that doesn’t reach your eyes. It’s not his fault.

Bohemian Rhapsody airs in Autumn, you’re regional manager now, and you’re sitting in your office when you hear for the first time; you almost scream when the first harmony comes in after the radio host introduces the song.

“You’re a star, Rog!” You gush over the phone on your break, unable to wait until that night when the band was having a celebratory get-together to talk to him.

“Of course, I am, you think I sing that high to be paid in peanuts?” You can hear the smile in his words without even seeing him, and being able to hear his voice warms your heart.

“That was you?” You laugh, the ‘Galileo's playing back in your head, and you try to picture him singing it, which only made you laugh harder.

“Oi,” he bristled, indignant at your laughter, “I’m the only one with the range to execute Freddie’s vision.” You could see him in your mind now, proud and stubborn, standing tall to defend the decision.

“I’m proud of you.” Suddenly sincere, you find your smile turning to something more genuine as you think back on far he’s come.

“Thank you.” His own voice has become less animated, more sincere, though you can still hear him smiling.

“Love you, Rog.” You tell him, just as you always did when you parted ways.

“I’ll see you tonight.”

He’s grinning, draped with casual confidence in an armchair in Freddie’s living room when you arrive, and you feel like you’ve been taken back five years, the casual enthusiasm he’s exerting. Smile brightening, he stands when he sees you, striding across the room to enfold you in a hug.

“Good to see you!” He practically beams at you, holding your shoulders as he looks over you, as if assessing you, seeing if anything has changed.

“Of course, you’ve been holed up for weeks, I wouldn’t miss this for the world!” Though he’s in front of you, you’re words address the room as a whole, and when he steps back, Brian moves in to hug you as well, asking how you’ve been.

The boys are your friends, all of them, you’ve been around for most of their big band moments, and it eases something in your chest to be here for this one too. But then the ease sharply tightens as a woman you’ve never seen before sits on the arm of Roger’s chair, and he rests a hand on her thigh, smiling up at her.

Mary follows your gaze, and her smile is sad as she pulls you down to sit beside her, asking you about your thoughts on the single. You answer, though your heart’s not in it, and the selfish creature in your chest rears it’s ugly head after such a long slumber. 

The monster has shifted, changed and grown, it hadn’t cared about him running around with any pretty girl he could find for the past few years, but this was different. Roger had made it clear that he was far from sacred, but this was the band, this was Freddie’s home, this was the place of some of your happiest memories; this was yours. 

You stay well into the early hours of the following morning, despite the interloper, but Roger still stopped you at the door.

“I’m really glad you could make it, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.” He’s smiling at you, but you don’t smile back. It’s been a long night of being kind and pretending that you’re heart didn’t hurt.

“Well, you’ve very busy.” You shrug, punctuating it with a yawn. His expression turns confused, and you open the door.

“Y/N.” He tried to get your attention, but you left, throwing a goodbye over your shoulder to him. “Love you.” He calls through the door, but you stay quiet, refuse to say it back, just keep walking. You’re too tired to be upset, but maybe you’ll get there tomorrow.

Things change, and you’ve grown to accept that, but sometimes old aches don’t heal like they should. Or at all.

“I’m getting married.” He calls you at the end of Winter.

“Oh.”

“Oh?” 

Your relationship’s been on the mend in the years since the Bohemian Rhapsody launch night. You two smile and laugh like you had when you were younger, and you’ve learned to listen to his exploits and his gripes about women, offering your own about your partners, though they’re few and far between. He’s still your best friend, and you learn to act like it. 

“Congratulations.” Your voice is flat. It had been a shock, you’d heard about his latest on-again off-again girlfriend, and had even offered advice in certain situations, actual advice, no malice at all.

“Thanks.” He doesn’t seem to know where to go from here, and silence stretches out between the two of you.

“I should go.” You finally murmur.

“What? Why?” He spluttered, and you sighed deeply.

“Was there something else you wanted to talk about?” You asked, closing your eyes and leaning your forehead against the wall.

“I- no, but I want you to be there.” He paused. “And I wanted to be the one to tell you.” Clenching your jaw, you make a snap decision.

“I can’t-”

“Why not?” He actually sounded angry, which was perhaps warranted, though your next words shut him up.

“Because it hurts, Roger.” After a beat, your voice is quiet. “Because I love you.” Taking a breath, you let yourself relax. “I want you to be happy, but I can’t watch you marry someone else.” There’s silence for a very long moment, but you hang up before he can respond. You take the phone off the hook. You need to be alone, just for now.

“After everything, you still-?” It’s the first day of Spring, and he’s on your doorstep, seemingly unable to say the word love. You’re wearing your pyjamas and he looks like he’s just walked out of a Rolling Stone cover shoot, though he just sort of looks like that now, you supposed.

“Don’t worry about it.” You try not to betray how much his visit shocked you, or the way his very presence after your recent conversation hurt you.

“You’re my best friend! Of course I’m gonna worry about it!” He threw his hands up in the air, exasperated. Sighing deeply, he stepped forward. “I thought I fucked everything up when we hooked up, I’m sorry, I panicked.” He was looking at his fidgeting hands, rather than your surprised expression. “And then... I thought I fucked it up again when I chose the band over you.”

“You never-” You tried to protest, but he smiled self-deprecatingly.

“No, I did. I loved you, and I thought that would get in the way of the band.” Clenching his jaw, he looked up and you could see the regret in his eyes. “It was easier to fuck around that tell you I love you.” Your breath stopped in your throat as he finally walked closer. “And I thought after everything, that you deserved better; you know what I’m like, why would you-?” But you cut him off with a kiss.

“You’ll always have me.” You murmured, finally letting yourself smile. Nothing about it felt selfish, in fact, it felt as though the sun was finally shining on you, warming you from the inside out.

“I know,” he agreed quietly, wrapping you up in a hug.

[cs-discourse]

Breaking Down Clowns' Posts: Episode One with Mochi

let's get into a Breakdown, shall we? my interpretations are in bold :) 

I’m fucking over this mewlin bullshit. Idc what kind of hate I’m going to get over this because obviously nobody is allowed to have beliefs contrary to your own anymore. to start off, saying "idc what kind of hate i'm going to get over this" before saying something defending a terrible opinion is a bad thing to do, just sayin. you saying "because obviously nobody..." makes it seem like you're annoyed with us being upset over transphobia! that's just my interpretation, but it'd bc a shame if you were :) because our opinion is valid and mewlin's transphobic opinions are not. anyways, if the beliefs you hold could potentially harm somebody/a community, they aren't valid whatsoever. let's put it this way (thank u alcides for saying this): bigoted people vote for bigoted opinions. bigoted opinions lead to bigoted laws, and these laws will harm people's lives & affect the choices they are able to make. also, blatant transphobia is so different from a VALID opposing belief such as preferring winter over summer. transphobia kills. favorite seasons don't. But anyways. Y’all need to laY oFF. Mewlin is a person, just like you and I. She thinks, eats, and breathes. nice to know she's living-- what exactly does this have to do with the point you're trying to make? homophobes think, eat, and breathe. racists, eat, think, and breathe. i could go on! She doesn’t deserve even a fraction of this harassment. are you sure...?? not even.... 1/100th of it? god, i can't believe a transphobe would actually DESERVE harassment!! the audacity!!! you should never be harassed for holding an opinion that harms someone's life! (extreme sarcasm, if you couldn't tell!) I get it, her beliefs are upsetting to you. thank you for stating the obvious! why wouldn't we be upset with a transphobe? Obviously I don’t agree with her beliefs, I think transphobia is nasty. i mean if my friend was a transphobe i'd fucking run from them but u do u boo BUT that doesn’t make her a bad person. You hear me? YOUR BELIEFS DONT DEFINE YOU. i've had to repeat something along the lines of this statement many times but i'll say it again: if your beliefs harm other people, then that's all people will define you with. Mewlin is a sweet, kind, supportive person with some controversial beliefs. some....? controversial beliefs? transphobia isn't even controversial ur either a terrible person or ur not. I’m not saying you have to love her, you can hate her with every ounce of your being, but keep it to your damn self! if u love her, keep it to your damn self! look what you've done by posting this. you've prompted a response from myself & many others. I don’t expect trans people to be all buddy buddy with her, or even cis people. But you have no right to dehumanize her the way you’ve been. i mean..... isn't she dehumanizing trans people by saying they're invalid & wrong....... :0c When she had her moments of saying nasty things, SHE DIDN’T KNOW BETTER. When she was called out, she stopped! did she really? Doesn’t erase what she said but it doesn’t mean she had bad intentions. i distinctly remember her defending her use of the word (tw!!) tr*p so like. ok You guys are so out to get her that you don’t realize she’s a person too. A person with emotions and a life to live. when are u going to stop using the "shes a person!!!" argument... zzzzzzz How do you think she feels reading about you all calling her disgusting and telling her she has no rights to this or that or even at all? i would hope she feels regret for her transphobic actions and that's all. Mewlin is truly a sweet, generous person. She gives people things out of the kindness of her heart. She’s gifted me a kalon and some edits, not to clear her name or to prove anything, but because she wanted to. what point are you trying to prove??? this is like saying a bully is a good person bc they're nice to their friends?? Have you ever considered that maybe her pfp on discord is that pride icon jish made because she wants to express her support?? okay... and? someone who's bi (assuming she's using the bi pride one) can still be transphobic lmao. Sure, she’s had her moments, but maybe she’s getting better. if she's getting better, i'd like to personally hear from her & not one of her friends. Maybe the pride icon is her way of trying to open up a little bit, and hey, she knows I’m a genderfluid lesbian and she’s never said a word to me about it. good for u!! must be because you're friends w her. she must be desperate to hold onto the few people who manage to ignore her bigoted opinions! Grow the fuck up and learn to either keep your mouth shut or GET OVER IT. Bitching about it on this blog for months is only keeping you angry and upsetting Mewlin more. i'm pretty sure people have the right to defend their identities & like. we would stay quiet if mewlin didn't continue to clown around This is counterproductive!! Yeah, you hate her. Woohoo!! You get a gold star! omg, thank u!!!! Now move on and do something with your life that isn’t obsessing over one person who is MISERABLE because of you. She is getting nasty dms all the time that are really upsetting to her all because you guys think it’s a fun idea to harrass her more. ok i haven't DMed her so i really don't have an opinion on that but., it's not like we're 'harassing' her without being provoked?? all of this drama starts with her & her bigoted statements/actions CS is supposed to be a fun, enjoyable game for everyone. It’s supposed to be a safe space. Lay off already and let her enjoy her safe space like you all get to as well. the problem with the last statement is that we don't get to truly enjoy this 'safe space' if transphobes like her are making trans people uncomfortable, afraid, and upset so like. Ok She’s not hurting anyone! really? she's not hurting anyone? If her existence makes you THAT uncomfortable, fucking block her and go. already have, luv xx I’m over it! I’m done reading the hate she gets on here and getting dms from my upset or even terrified friend because of what people said to/about her. are u trying to get us to sympathize w a transphobe..?? im confused. Imagine if it were you. i mean. if you read the salt blog last year it Was me so uhhhhh. what's your point?? i know i fucked up but it seems like all mewlin is doing is crying despite causing Imagine if it were your friend. i'm not friends with transphobes so i can't relate! There’s this DBT skill called radical acceptance. It’s where you recognize that it is what it is. You cannot change it so rather than sitting in your misery and spreading it around, simply accept that’s what it is and keep going with your life. Try it, it actually works pretty well. Radically accept that when it comes down to it, you can’t change her. So accept how she is and move on. are u asking people to accept that someone on what's supposed to be a safe space is a transphobe...??? Okay, I’m done rambling now. I’ve said my piece, I’m ready for the hate to come pouring in 👌

with this closing statement: it's 1am and i'm tired so! this is monky brain typing. i really don't have sympathy for mewlin whatsoever so like i really don't care if she gets upset over my response bc it's nowhere near compared to what trans people have to go through so :) my final words are: fuck mewlin and anybody who likes her despite her invalid shitty opinions.