#ten points to anyone who caught the song reference

[leonawriter]

Actually, this reminded me that I think Ran's on course for figuring out the plot without Shinichi's guidance, assistance, or even necessarily knowing that he and Conan are the same person.

I don't think I'm saying anything that's gonna come as a surprise to anyone who's caught up, either, because I'm referring to stuff that happened all the way back in, uh... [checks] volume 90. A Song Named ASACA.

Because during that case, Vermouth came along disguised as Azusa, to get info on why the rock star has a song that might be named based on a clue that leads back to the Organisation boss' name, and might not be (it wasn't, but it was a big coincidence).

A case occurs, and she accidentally calls Ran "Angel" just like she did back in New York, and just like she did during the shootout between her and Jodie, when Ran tried to save Haibara.

Ran, on her own, started to realise "this person isn't actually my friend, is she?" and that she might be connected to that incident.

Likewise, Ran was also there when she and Shinichi met the Akai family ten years ago, so she also recognises Masumi (and would possibly recognise Mary, if they met, and that would make suspicions about Conan reach dizzying heights).

I think that plot when it comes to Ran goes infinitesimally slowly. Nothing moves until it is time to move. When it's not time yet, time stops. But Ran does remember past incidents, and she is not stupid; she is merely being held back by what Gosho sees the plot as needing to play out like.

So yeah, I'm not outright suggesting "it's going to happen soon!!" I'm just looking at how the threads there are, happen to be tying together, and thinking aloud that it feels like this, at some point, may well happen... even if it takes another several hundred chapters.

[voiceofsword]

heyyyy just curious about your process with the hot limit niki? I wanted to try something similar for a later event and was curious how you knew how much dia & stuff you needed

hi! i did a lot of pre-planning for hot limit i think by late oct-early nov i was trying to figure out how much dia i would need, how many tickets i would use, etc. first of all you need to be very conscious of what you're trying to go for. if youre planning on getting an mv scr or also ranking, im just going to assume you are willing to spend An Amount of money on doing so because doing this kind of thing is almost impossible as f2p unless youve saved up for a ridiculously long time. more under the cut

i knew from the get go i was gonna rank top 10 so the resources i had very much reflected that. for reference these are how many dia and whistles i had (that one support pack was a LIFE SAVER – i think the whistles we got from that were around 20k+ dia worth, so in absence of that i wouldve actually bought the dia pack and started off with around 120k+). i didnt use any dia to scout, but i had 181 scouting tickets saved up for this (so around 63k worth) and probably bought a few more along the way. i only ended up getting a 75% bonus iirc (one copy of adonis 5* (20%), maxed nazuna 4* (50%), and one maxed 3* (5%) – my grind song at that point was oys so adonis was in the main team bc luckily he was brilliant, and nazuna and the 3* were in the support slots).

so in total, not accounting for event rewards, the dia i got from the monthly VIP or any subsequent tickets i might've purchased, i had around 180k worth of dia saved up for this event. if i had been planning for a podium spot (1-3) i probably wouldve tried to have somewhere closer to 300k. keep in mind, because ranking is fast-paced (i would also do this if i was going 22m – ill be doing that for ariadne and i'll try to keep a better documented run when i do so i can put out proper guides for anyone that might need it) you absolutely need to buy the VIP II pack. not for the whistles the whistles arent even a drop in the bucket for what youll be spending BP-wise but because the VIP II pack comes with an unlimited amount of doubling up which you will be doing after every single normal song play to keep up the pace and reach your daily goal (do NOT double up on the event song that is a scam and is infinitely worse than doubling up the normal song).

worth pointing out tho that i noticed a large enough gap between myself and the person after me so i stopped using my dia last few hours of the event – out of 102k i was left with around 34k. so in practice i used up all the whistles, all the scouting tickets, and around 68k dia – a total of 155k dia. depending on who youre trying to go for if youre ranking it might be more or less, for example, i wouldnt be caught dead ranking for any valk event not only bc im not a valkP but because valkP are. well. lets just say i think they're keeping enstars afloat. you'd probably have an easier time with less "popular" characters so that's something to account for. niki is definitely really popular eng-side so i kind of shot myself in the foot here but idc anything for the mippy.

for 22m i'd probably have around 10 ten pulls from tickets saved, and around 65k dia just for playing the event and bp consumption. you'd basically want around 90k dia worth saved up for any mv scr because a 60% bonus is ideal (maxed 4*+both 3*s maxed) and ten 10 pulls should cover that.

i would actually link my spreadsheet straight up if it wasnt such a mess, but just to kind of give an idea of what it was i'll attach a screenshot and kind of talk thru my thought process for what i needed to plan for.

please note the preplanning stuff on the bottom + righthand side. using a kr calculator i figured out what the optimal card placement would be in terms of when skills would go off, etc. i basically just copy pasted the middle part with the song as well as the ones that list oys and heartbeater for that – the calc provides your team potency, as well as the overall score. here's a link to the kr spreadsheet translation. then i would plug the song score number into the sakamoto calculator (disclaimer like the prior times ive linked it multiply dia values x10 because this is a jp event calculator) to get an approximation of how many event points i would get per song depending on how much bonus i would get. for this kind of thing, it's basically a prerequisite that you get 70% (one copy of the 5*, and maxed 4*) so i made approximations from 70-95 in case i got rly lucky. i didnt LOLLLLLL

since my initial goal was 35m my daily goal was around 4.375m with the exception of day 0 – i only really wanted to get to first copy niki that day. so all of my calculations in the bottom half are based on how many normal+event song plays it wouldve taken to reach that number, and how much time it wouldve taken me in minutes, all at 10bp for normal song plays. i think my calculations were literally just like. normal song plays = x and event = y and trying to figure out how much they'd equal if it was (points per song*x) + (points per song*y) = 4,375,000. i kind of bsed this i'm not particularly good at math so i really just kept trying numbers until i got an amount that felt right, and repeated that taking into account the different number bonuses. BUT!!!!!!! here's a big but.

i ended up throwing that all out the window first day LMFAO

i started filling out the top left table as soon as the event started and as you can tell my calculations immediately went out the window because i was like hm what if i rush 😭 and i guess it was okay b/c i ended up going to 39m to place where i wanted to place, anyways. instead of 4m i'd literally just do whatever and go 5-7m+ a day until the last few days. my dia expenditure was at around 8-12k daily which was about what i expected, the first few days i was using whistles so i guess the dia consumption wouldve been double that amount on those days if i didnt have those. i also just stopped giving a damn around day 6 because i forgor and i already kind of knew how much i was spending anyways, i was more attentive to the t10 places than anything else. my camera roll and my friend @spectralpooch can attest to that (i would wake up in a cold sweat bc i needed to check where i was. constantly). i honestly do recommend keeping track of the rankings if youre aiming for a specific stuff tho i swear studying ppls playing habits (?) really helps so you know when to grind more and when you can kind of relax.

i havent talked about event pass usage and to be fair this is up to the player. i personally didnt use event passes at ALL until the very last hour of the event bc idk strategy, i guess. i kind of expected more people to do what i did to shoot up in the rankings last second but it didnt really happen (i went from 29m to 39m in under like. 45 minutes because i had 55k passes saved up call me Albert Einstein). i only used 100 passes for starries every once in a while but that was mostly for the high score ranking because overall i think starries dont give a lot when youre already going for 22m, and i wasnt playing the event song otherwise. like you can see in my calcs i accounted for playing the event song everyday a set amount of times but in practice i did differently bc thats what worked for me and i didnt mind using more dia in the end if it meant i could have a higher rank in the end. it's totally up to preference

you will also rank up a ton. which isnt hugely helpful in the grand scheme of things but something to look forward to, i guess. i think i ranked up around 25? or so times throughout the event and i was already at rank 90 to begin with. anyways if youre able to keep a steady pace and are able to play regularly thats good. if not i recommend frontloading the event on days where you Can play. there's also the psychological toll of watching your dia go down to the tiniest fraction of what it was before.

tldr always play your songs at 10bp, have a shit ton of dia saved up (depending on what youre doing, if youre doing 22m have around 90k if youre doing more than that pray to god)

I HOPE THIS HELPED ANON i wish you the best of luck. im by no means an expert on this kind of thing but if you need anything else just lmk

[the-faunal-frontier]

Critically endangered, but not extinct!

Hey! How is everyone? I’m making it! This is literally my first time logging into tumblr in about three months, but just so you know, you guys and this project and my abrupt and prolonged disappearance have been on my mind all this time! What have I been doing, you ask? Well:

In what I think has all the makings of a bizarre slice-of-life comedy, this quiet, humble, at times misanthropic graphic designer has been training to be the interim manager of a small used car lot to help her very pregnant friend! It has been (indeed, still is) a strange experience full of strange people, not to exclude:

People with credit scores below 400, because as it turns out, that is possible

A man who told me he wasn’t emotionally stable enough to test drive a car because he just lost his friend, which was awkward, and then clarified that the friend didn’t die, he just never wants to speak to him again, which was even MORE awkward.

JSapp MadStak

A woman who legit said, “I’m not worried about the wheel bearing, I’m worried about the radio.”

A man from Kentucky who took a 22 hour bus ride for no other reason than to buy a car, who then did not buy that car, and immediately started the 22 hour ride back.

A man asking me, “What webpage number are you listed?”

An Indian telemarketer who said I have a beautiful voice.

People that come out of the rain.

The longest eyelashes. Ever.

It is like socialization boot camp up in there for me, and I’m getting pretty decent at seeming like an outgoing individual. Anyway, if you need any financing advice, or socializing advice, I may or may not be able to help you.

Other things I’ve learned: how to cook a steak; how to pick up a cat; very basic Korean grammar, pronunciation, and reading/writing; that pregnancy is exciting but horrifying; that I should probably get a more reliable car; that soy milk is an acquired taste; THAT ARKIVE.ORG IS NO MORE; never to trust a tape measure that doesn’t have a hold button; that I am very critical of all songs; that there are such things as gas stations/butcher shops...

I could keep going, but suffice to say, it’s been a hectic time, and I wish it would get less hectic, but it probably won’t for a little while. BUT. I am still alive, and I’m finally finding time to get back to drawing a little! I can’t promise I’ll be consistently posting for a while, but I’m gonna do my best to do something!

Thank you all so much for your continued support, even as I was dropping off the face of the earth!  여러분,  감사합니다!

[youraveragenicaddict]

hey! how are u? I don't know if you've watched the Metal Lords movie on Netflix, but if you did, could you make a imagine of Hunter Sylvester? (sorry if any words are wrong, english is not my first language 🥲)

Hi :) Even though I have specified that I don't take requests right now, I will make a small exception and write this one and maybe some others because there aren’t enough fics about this pretty guy. I am doing very good, thanks for asking, and your English is fantastic :))

Hunter Sylvester x gn!Reader - 10 things I hate about you

SUMMARY - Your band is performing at the battle of the bands, you singing lead vocals. What happens while your singing a song targeted at Hunter about how he hurt you. 

WARNING - Language, possibly sexual references, jokes, bullying???? maybe something else.

GENRE - hurt/comfort

A/N - I haven’t written in a LONG time, probably like a year or two, so please point out any mistakes, and criticism is always appreciated, thanks :)) Ths is something i whipped up in an hour. No beta, we die like men.

@novastotallylame @demigirl-with-problems @dorotheasversion

https://open.spotify.com/track/1shKa7wLElW8CrbHOJk85M?si=ba142016e0a44108

''I caught you cheating, You had the nerve to say you're sleeping. Just not with her, but tell your friend that I'll be lost without you'': You loudly sang into the microphone in front of you. You and your best friends were competing in Glenwood Lake's ''Battle of the Bands'' with a song targeted at someone. That someone being the boy you loved more than anything in the world. You even changed up some of the lyrics from the original to fit. ''And I'll admit it Sometimes I miss when we were in it So I made a list so I never forget all the things I hate about you,'': You continued singing, thinking about how his hands felt around your waist. The way he would look at you when he thought you weren't looking his way. But fuck that bullshit, he fucked this up himself. ''Ten, you're selfish Nine, you're jaded Eight, the dumbest guy I dated Seven, talk a big game 'til you're naked Only six seconds and I had to fake it'': You screamed into the silver-coated microphone in front of you. You know he's listening, and that only keeps fueling you on. That and the audience in front of you cheering you on, some, who know the song, singing along, having felt very similar to you. ''Five, you're toxic Four, can't trust you Three, you still got mommy issues'': You turn your head, looking him in the eyes, as you sing these lines. You can practically see the pain and regret in his beautiful green eyes. That almost makes you feel sorry for him. If only he had realized how he fucked up sooner.

''Two months of your bullshit I can't undo One, I hate the fact that you made me love you'': You look at him again. He's frozen in place, still looking at you. Admiring you with your messed-up hair, a little faded dark red lipstick, black eyeliner. You could never tell what he was thinking until this point. ''Your friend must suck if they think you're cool A sloppy drunk, obsessed with his Juul Keep buying guitars with your daddy's money'': Ouch, that's a low blow. But it's true. Hunter can have anything he wants, and he's still a piece of shit. You can feel him and Kevin watching you. Even after you screamed how you felt at Hunter, Kevin stuck by your side. He's a good friend, unlike the long-haired brunette. ''And I don't know how I fell for your shit You gross me out and now I've got the ick And I've got a list of why you don't get to fuck me'': You look at your bandmates now, they were there too, when all your bottled-up emotions burst out. They know how important this is to you. And to them too. Heartbreak sucks. ''Ten, you're selfish Nine, you're jaded Eight, the dumbest guy I dated Seven, talk a big game 'til you're naked Only six seconds and I had to fake it'': Fuck does this feel good. Shouting and singing your broken heart out without anyone realizing this is about a certain metalhead. ''Five, you're toxic'': It's for the better you thought, regret and realization sinking in. ''Four, can't trust you'': He's not a good person. ''Three, you still got mommy issues'': He ignored and neglected you. ''Two months of your bullshit I can't undo'': He doesn't deserve you. ''One, I hate the fact that you made me love you'': He would have never loved you back anyways, right? Right? ''You made me love you You made me love you Ooh, ah How'd you make me love you?'': You slowly turn your head to where Hunter's standing. Both of you gazing into each other's eyes while you sing these lines. Your eyes full of hurt, his full of regret. ''And I'll admit it Sometimes I miss when we were in it'': You do miss him, so fucking much. ''So I made a list, yeah Ten things I hate about you'': It's for the better. You try to convince yourself again, but now it doesn't seem to be working anymore. ''Ten, you're selfish'': No. ''Nine, you're jaded'': No, you think. ''Eight, the dumbest guy I dated'': Realization sinks in. You still fucking love him. ''Seven, talk a big game 'til you're naked'': After everything, he's done. ''Only six seconds and I had to fake it'': Even though you want to, you can't hate him. ''Five, you're toxic'': Not even a little bit. ''Four, can't trust you'': Not even at all. ''Three, you still got mommy issues'': He has so many issues. ''Two months of your bullshit I can't undo'': But if he apologized, you'd forgive him instantly. ''One, I hate the fact that you made me love you'': You now silently singing, finish the song. Everything is blurry, even the sound of people cheering for you and your band. You abruptly turn to where Hunter is standing and walk his way. While walking, you two make eye contact. He's surprised, amazed, and scared of what you'll do next. But you just walk past him. Hunter tries and fails miserably to grab your arm and turn you around. You continue walking to where the exit is, trying to get out. Everything is stuffy, blurry. Fuck, you gasp, feeling the cold air outside hug your body. You can hear someone calling your name in the distance. Distress. You can sense the distress in Hunter’s voice. Then, the main glass doors are thrown open by him. The boy you love more than anything and can't even properly hate him for what he did, so you continue ignoring him until he stands in front of you. He's crying and that catches you off guard. ''Listen, please, just hear me out,'' he begs you, looking into your eyes. ''Fine,'': you snap back, interested but too stubborn to show that ''what do you have to say?'' ''I know I've been such an asshole to you. I insulted you. I ignored you, even though you supported me and were there for me either way. '': Tears are still streaming down Hunter's face while he tries to make coherent and audible sentences. He grabs your hand, both of your's rings making a clinking sound. '' You have every right to hate me, but I just need you to know, I'm so fucking sorry. I regret everything I said, everything I did, and I'm so so so sorry. Please, just don't leave me, please stay, please, I love you, I'm so sorry, please..'': Hunter goes on pleading, his voice barely louder than a whisper. His words are finally sinking in. He's still whispering silent apologies and even I love you's. You let go of his now cold hand and gently put your own on his pale cheeks, leaning in for a kiss. For a moment, Hunter's whole body is frozen, eyes wide, but moments later he's kissing you back, with everything he has. Moments later, you turn your head away, gasping for air. ''I forgive you, Hunter,'' you say, looking into his eyes, both of your's foreheads pressed together,'' I love you too much to ever be able to hate you.'' He laughs a little, smiling widely, and pulls you in for a really tight hug, a silent I love you.

[finelinevogue]

Can you do one where Harry take his children and YN to one of his concert and their just dancing around singing along on stage with Harry.

i love this concept so much!! i kinda of wanna make it sad though soooo it’s gonna be harry’s final show :/ hope you enjoy;

oli - 29, felix - 27, belle - 24

The concert had been amazing, but unfortunately it was coming to its’ end now.

The final show.

That’s what Harry had decided to call it; a clever play on words with reference to his first ever solo single. The last 50 years had been a rollercoaster for Harry, from growing up just a kid in Cheshire, to going on the X Factor and winning the hearts of millions and from being in the most successful band of the decade to going solo and still being absolutely beloved. Times had changed, though. Harry had changed. He had a beautiful family of 3 now, excluding his wonderful wife. His children were his universe, no question about it, but they were getting older now - Harry was getting older. He was 50 this year and with that in mind he’d decided to retire. Retiring had involved a long conversation with you, along with a bottle of red wine, about whether it was the right decision or not. But it was - is.

You had suggested he put on one final, massive show, to celebrate his life and his achievements along with all that the fans have too. Tickets were open internationally and it was being streamed on various TV outlets for those who couldn’t attend. The tickets sold within 47 seconds. 47 seconds. It was being held in the Olympic Stadium in London, because it was Harry’s home and it held the most number of people he could genuinely allow.

The concert had started with ‘Fine Line’ songs, which merged into HS1 songs with a few One Direction songs as well. The entire set list had been composed by the fans with various polls on social media, with the concert supposedly lasting 2 hours (although with support artists and a few extra surprises it was more likely going to be 3!)

It had been beautiful so far. Magical. Unforgettable.

Every chance he got, without making it grossly obvious, he looked at you. He'd told you to stick your thumbs up at him every time he caught your eye, so he knew that you were okay - and every time, you did.

The concert was coming to an end now, which everyone was dreading. How could +30 years feel like it'd only been thirty minutes? You were devastated, so you could only imagine what his fans were thinking.

"Hey!"

The end Kiwi, for the second time, strummed throughout the arena and you knew it was time for the final song. His final song.

"Mum, is this the end?" Belle asked you, from where she was standing next to you. You had been dancing together all night and gotten progressively more tired. Your feet hurt. Your throats burned. Yet, as always, it was so worth it.

"Yes, Belles, it is." You tell her, and she pouted sadly. "Dad won't want to see you sad love, okay? He can still sing to you before bed?" You teased her, reminding her of a time when Harry would do such a thing, not wanting her to be all sad. It was supposed to be a celebration, but even you could admit that is was pretty hard-hitting.

"Really mum?" She asked.

You booped her nose annoyingly, before answering. "Every night if you want him to."

The lights changed from their green tone, thanks to Kiwi, back to a bright, white light. It beamed on Harry, making him look even more like the angel that he is. He dragged his microphone back to the centre stage and took a deep breath for beginning a speech he'd told you he'd prepared.

"So this is it, my friends." He laughed sadly into the microphone. He brushed his hair back and took out his in-ears to hear the audience. They were all awwing and crying, but what else did you expect? Their favourite artist was retiring - who wouldn't be crying a river?

"I, um. I'd like to take a bit of time to thank certain people." He coughed, something he always did after performing Kiwi due to his asthma. You thought it was lovely that he'd planned a speech to thank his management and crew. They did so much work backstage and you definitely didn't think they got enough credit for their hard work.

"Okay. I've made a little list..." Harry pulled out a tiny bit of crumpled paper from his pocket. "Just in case I forget anyone." He joked to himself, but made everyone laugh anyways. "So I guess first off, I should start with you lovely people." He pointed around the whole stadium, showing he was talking about the fans. "What you have done for me is indescribable. I think to myself, everyday, am I worthy of even being here—"

"Yes!" An army of agreement echoed around the arena, making Harry stop, blush and smile to himself.

"Well thank you! Um. You have been the best fans ever, and I know you will continue to be. I know you don't owe me anything, but all I ask you to keep loving yourselves and treating people with kindness, because I know I can count on you lot to do that, for me." He sniffled at the end, making you bite your lip to prevent the tears from falling for you. He looked so vulnerable right now, but you knew he'd be feeling on top of the world.

"Jheez." He sniffles again. "That's one thank you down and i'm already crying." He looked to his band to share the joke with.

“Dad’s such a wuss.” Oli laughed, holding his arm around Beas waist, making the people around you chuckle in agreement.

“Shut up you - Mr-tears-in-your-eyes!” You pointed out, laughing as he flipped you the bird - which then got him a hit off his grandma Anne.

All of Harrys family and friends were here, in a special cornered off section. It was such a thoughtful thing for Harry to do. All his family, and a fair few of yours, were sat down along with Harrys closest friends. Everyone was sharing laughs and drinks, whilst using every inch of space to dance along to your husbands boastful music.

"Secondly, my touring family. From Jeff and Ben, to Sarah's Kitchen, Adam, Mitch, Sarah, Charlotte and Nyoh, not forgetting everyone backstage and behind the lights, music and cameras. You've all been the greatest. Everything you do is second to none. You're all talented, warm-hearted, people whom I will carry in my heart forever. Thank you." You noticed members of the crew and band starting to tear up now.

"Moving on to my boys. We've been through it all, lads, and I couldn't have asked for four better brothers than you all. Louis. Liam. Niall. Zayn. Thank you." Everyone cheered ten times louder, maybe because this was as close to a One Direction reunion as the fans were ever going to get, but definitely because Harry had mentioned Zayn. You saw a girl faint at the mere mention of all the boys in the same sentence. The boys lifted up their beers to Harry, stood close by to where you were standing.

"I guess I should say thank you to the women who made all this possible. Mum. Gem. Thank you for signing me up all those years ago. Thank you for believing in me. You've made me the - crap, sorry! - the man I am now and I love you both." Harry prayed to them both, whilst bowing, and swiftly wiped away the tears afterwards. Anne and Gemma, on the other hand, were proudly crying.

"Ol, Fix and Belles. You rascals make me get out of bed every morning and give me more of a purpose in life. You four give me so much joy and happiness. I love you all, even if you do drive me up the wall on an early Saturday morning! Thank you, my loves." You stood close to all your children, giving them the support they needed in this moment. Belle was crying against your chest, the ever-so-emotional woman she was. Felix was stood up, with Heather, with his drink raised to his dad. Oli was to your side, trying to remain cool and stoic, but you still caught the tears that ran down his face.

"Now." The audience calmed down again after awing over your babies. Harry cleared his throat before beginning again. "This evening keeps on reminding me of a very special person in my life. Someone who is my everything and that's my beautiful wife, Y/N." His words make your breath hitch in your throat. You never expected him to say anything about you. I mean, what had you done?

"Mum." Belle called out to you, in affirmation that this was real.

"She's more than just a wife. She's a lover. She's my muse. She's my best-fucking-friend, apologises for swearing but sue me. I was hesitant to let go of all this, at first. What would I do with myself now? You know? People tell me i'm 'happiest on stage', and for a time that was true. Until I met Y/N. She's made me realise that family makes me the happiest. She makes me the happiest." He jumped down off stage, taking the microphone with him. He ran his hands along the fans in the front row, but had no intention of stopping until he met you.

You felt Belle leaving your side, but you were too captivated by Harry to fully understand what was happening.

"So what am I going to do now, you ask? Well..." Harry cheekily smiled at you. "I'm going to make her the happiest woman alive, just as she makes me the happiest man." You began to cry again and the chorus of thousands of fans clapping and screaming surrounds you, only to all stop when his lips meet yours. He tasted like a combination of salty sweat and mint, but he was home. After a minute of crying, kissing and 'i love yous' , Harry ran back to the stage before Jeff could shoot him.

"Thank you all. All my love." He said whilst adjusting his microphone. "Please sing along if you know the words." He asked, full well knowing every single person will be screaming out the lyrics to him.

"Just stop you're crying it's the sign of the times. Welcome to the final show. Hope you're wearing your best clothes."

[incorrectbatfam]

Can I get headcanons for an au where Bruce adopted the kids when they /were/ babies, please?

Use the bathroom, get comfortable, and maybe have some tissues on hand.

For these headcanons, we’re gonna assume they were adopted in order of age, and that they’re all under 18. So Dick and Babs are 16 (with Babs being older), Harper is 14, Cass is 13, Jason is 12, Tim is 7, Steph and Duke are both 5 (with Steph being older), Carrie is 3, and Damian is 1. Yes, I’m aware that it diverges from canon age gaps but once you keep reading you’ll see why I did that.

Now for the headcanons (in no particular order):

Alfred is “Grandpa” and Bruce is anything from “Dad”, “Pops”, “Old man”, “Baba”, etc. All the other adults, like Kate or Clark, are aunts and uncles.

Steph and Duke compete over everything, like who can tie their shoes the fastest or learn to ride a bike first. Steph makes a point of letting everyone know she’s older, but Duke fires back with the fact that he’s taller. They’re both at the top of their kindergarten class and are known for butting heads, but God help anyone who decides to pick on one of them.

Harper got her first period at school while wearing white shorts. Thankfully, Dick and Babs came in clutch.

At school, Kon told Tim that he got ten dollars every time he lost a tooth. Tim tried to hack the system by pulling a bunch of teeth out at once (thankfully to no avail) until someone caught him.

Babs has a different secret handshake with each person.

When Damian first came along, everyone expected Carrie to be angry or jealous since she’d no longer be the baby of the family. And she was a little jealous at first. But the moment she saw him, her eyes went wide and she whispered, “He’s so tiny” and vowed to protect him with everything she had.

The last business trip Bruce took was when Cass was a baby, and the reason why it was his last one was that while he was abroad, Alfred sent him a video of Cass taking her first steps and he burst into tears in the middle of a meeting because he wasn’t there to witness it in person.

Dick once used Damian as a wingman to pick up girls. It worked so well that Jason tried the same thing, only to have it grossly backfire on him.

Whenever Bruce needs a break, Alfred will call everyone to the living room for one of his infamous spy stories.

Cass is the queen of April Fool’s.

Tim, Steph, and Duke regularly climb on each other’s shoulders to try to reach the cookie jar.

Harper is a pro at getting gum out of people’s hair. Tim is a pro at the exact opposite. 

Bruce gives Dick “the talk”. Dick then gives it to Harper who gives it to Cass who gives it to Jason and by then it’s so misconstrued by then that Bruce has to re-give it to all the kids.

One time Jason lashed out at school and it led to the teachers referring him to a therapist. Bruce stayed with him during the first appointment and Jason admitted to feeling unwanted because of what some kids at school said. Meanwhile, back at home, all the other siblings were trying to get their names to be Damian’s first word, like a competition. None of them ended up winning because when the other two came home, Damian called out to Jason. (And Jason cried on the spot because it didn’t matter what people said at school, he was wanted by the right people).

Group outings with the Kents or the Allens are a normal occurrence.

Harper gave Bruce a heart attack when she DIYed her hair dye and piercings.

The first time Tim saw a shooting star, he was convinced that aliens had arrived to take over the world. His conspiracy-driven panic spread to his younger siblings and that’s how Alfred found them all hiding in a blanket fort wearing saucepans as helmets.

Steph once got lost at the mall and the first thing she did was buy ten Build-A-Bears. 

Cass regularly carries her younger siblings like suitcases.

Bruce never rushed Dick into getting a license or helping out around the house.

Harper once snuck on a train to the next town without telling anyone because she wanted to ask Kate advice on coming out.

Nobody got any sleep for the forty-eight hours when Damian’s favorite stuffed animal went missing.

Duke is a LEGO kid. Carrie is a horse girl. Together they created the ultimate toy equine sanctuary.

Bruce can’t ground the kids. They’ve unionized.

Jason is no longer allowed to pick movies on account of the time he chose an R-rated slasher.

It’s an open secret that Cass accidentally left Tim at a haunted house once. 

Alfred custom sews a ten-person "get along" shirt.

Duke once snuck Damian to school for Show And Tell. Steph ratted him out almost right away.

Jason tried to make his younger siblings reenact Shakespeare. It lasted a good thirty seconds before it dissolved into people hitting each other with props.

As a big mystery/conspiracy theory person, Tim was wholly convinced that Damian was an extraterrestrial because the first time he saw him, it was at the hospital where Damian was hooked up to a bunch of machines after he was born. It wasn’t until after three different people explained the concept of preemies to him did Tim finally get it.

Carrie loves to play dress-up and will rope in anyone in the vicinity.

Bruce’s favorite song to sing to someone when they’re upset is Lean On Me by Bill Withers

Cass taught everyone obscenities in sign language and it was all fine until someone caught Babs at school and she got detention

Alfred can’t remember the last time the house was not babyproofed.

Between birthdays, holidays, Gotcha Days, and other special days, there’s always a reason to celebrate at Wayne Manor.

Whenever they fly on the private jet Duke's in the cockpit insisting he knows more about airplanes than the pilots (Alfred or Kate) bc he watched the Planes movie.

Harper got matching leather jackets for all the sisters.

Bruce gives Tim "coffee" that's 90% milk and a splash of coffee for flavor.

Cass and Jason communicate solely in inhuman grunts.

Carrie can and will latch onto the first person she sees like a koala bear.

There's a running gag among friends on how many siblings Dick has because he tells stories without ever using names.

Bruce comes home after a long day of work and everyone drops what they're doing to dogpile on him.

Harper only got an after school job to pay for her Club Penguin membership.

They all make snowmen in descending size order with Bruce's being this huge towering one and Damian's being like three inches tall.

The girls have a "no boys (except the baby) allowed" zone.

Carrie can't pronounce the letters "R" or L".

When Damian learns to crawl suddenly all the other family members become a jungle gym.

Bruce doesn't notice when someone invites a friend over without permission because what's a few extra kids anyway?

Harper comes out and for a week people wouldn't stop making bi puns.

They try to do that thing where each family member puts a different colored handprint on the mailbox and they end up running out of space.

As the oldest Dick gets stuck with babysitting or he's forced to let Jason tag along when he goes out (bc all parents make their older kids do that) and he resents it but at the same time no one can talk trash about his siblings.

Damian's animal collection begins when he brings in a mouse from the yard. (Cue the hilarious siblings-helping-him-hide-new-pets montages.)

Someone beat Bruce for “World’s most attractive man”, but that’s okay because he was voted “World’s happiest man” instead.

[lastbluetardis]

Sacred New Beginnings (1/?)

Summary: James Noble thought he traded away his chance at love and a happy-ever-after when he signed a contract with a record label that turned him into an international celebrity. But a chance meeting in a dive bar may prove him wrong.

Ten x Rose AU, @doctorroseprompts

This Chapter: Teen, ~5500 words

Note: Er... surprise? This idea has been in my head for months but my brain took it and ran with it this weekend. I plotted the whole thing and am gonna try to update every weekend. I don’t anticipate this being more than like... 7-10 chapter? I’d love to keep it under 5 chapters but that might be trimming things down too much for my liking. Anyways, I really hope you enjoy this little story!

AO3

Flashing lights and shrieks of his name greet James the moment the back door to his armored car is opened. His head of security ducks out first and James can only see a mass of feet and legs but it’s more than enough to let him know it’s a heavier than usual crowd. Not surprising, considering the news of his latest break-up just dropped while he’d been flying back from a visit to America.

He slides out of the car, helped by hands that pull him as much as guide him through the throng. He ignores the shouts of his name—telling him to look left or right or up or down or every combination therein—and the barrage of questions and jokes that aren’t funny.

Was it you or him that ended it?

Three weeks, is that a new personal record?

Another notch in the bedpost, eh James?

Got another beau lined up yet?

If you’re looking for candidates, what do we have to do to get our names in the running?

“Ignore them,” he mutters to himself, too quietly for anyone except his security team to hear.

In answer, one of them gives his shoulder a reassuring squeeze as they reach his front door. Someone has already unlocked it for him and the darkness within is a blessing he’s all too willing to be shoved into. The cacophony muffles once the door shuts, and finally he’s alone, a rarity for him. If it’s not his security, it’s personal assistants and writers and producers and photographers and the paparazzi.

Or his lover of the month, as the papers have taken to calling his partners.

But nope, his home is empty and quiet and bloody freezing. A shiver ripples up his spine as he treads to the thermostat controller. Summer finally released its hold on London, and the muggy heat has been replaced with a damp chill that burrows down into his bones.

Several button-presses later, James hears the familiar clank of the radiator and he can smell the heating kick on. It’ll take a while for his house to warm up, so James keeps his peacoat on for the time being as he putters around his home, checking the fridge and the cabinets. As always, they’re well-stocked. He hasn’t had to do anything as mundane as grocery shopping in the five years since his YouTube channel full of acoustic covers of popular songs went viral and landed him a lucrative deal with a prestigious record label. Only in his wildest dreams had he expected to find fame and fortune in the hobby he loved so much—for it to have actually happened still took him by surprise, as though any minute he’d be told “it was fun while it lasted, but it’s time for you to leave wonderland now.”

Shaking his head of those thoughts, he goes to the antique dining table that can easily seat ten people, which is great for holidays or in-home meetings, but just plain depressing every other day of the year. A stack of mail has piled up, and he spends the next five minutes attempting to sort it before giving up and telling himself he’ll look at it in the morning, once he’s not quite as groggy—transatlantic flights always take it out of him.

Instead, he rootles around his fridge until he comes up with the necessary items to make himself a ham and cheese sandwich. With the prospect of food in front of him, James realizes he is starving. He shoves a whole slice of ham in his mouth while he assembles his pitiful meal, heaping on lettuce and sliced tomatoes as though that’s enough to negate the pile processed protein and greasy chips he layers in for crunch.

It’s tastier than any sandwich as a right to be, and he nearly makes himself a second one before catches sight of his phone screen and the slew of incoming notifications. His work is never finished, is it?

There are several texts from his publicist, Donna, welcoming him home and congratulating him on not making an arse of himself just by trying to walk up the front drive of his home. (To be fair, he felt entitled to channel his inner crotchety old man and tell reporters to get off his damn lawn if they encroached on his personal property.)

“Though some photos are surfacing of your trip to New York… Anything you need me to get ahead of?”

He rubs his fingers into his eyes, knowing she’s probably referring to his last night out in the city, where he went bar hopping until the wee hours of the morning to try to forget the text his subsequently-ex-boyfriend had sent him.

Thanks for everything, but I need to focus on my career. Cheers mate.

The career that James had kickstarted for him by introducing his rising actor boyfriend to several of his friends in the film industry, because James had been so damn desperate for affection that he’d once again let the wool get pulled in front of his eyes.

And so James had reached out to mates who lived in New York and they’d all gone out and acted half their age and had a wonderful time once James forgot about why he’d gone out in the first place.

But none of that now. Nope. No sir.

“Not that I’m aware of,” he replies. “Let me know if you catch wind of anything.”

Despite the fact that he only just got home and he’s jetlagged and still feeling the effects of his night out in New York, James can’t stay in his house right now. It’s so quiet that his brain is creating its own white noise. He can’t stand being in his head on a good day, and today is not a good day.

He grabs his keys and wallet and makes for the back of the house. His property is landlocked with the back gardens of other houses; the paps have learned the hard way that James is dead serious about protecting his neighbors’ privacy and will not hesitate to phone the police to arrest and sue anyone caught trespassing on private property to snag a photo of him. James hosts dinner for his neighbors several times a year and buys them gifts any chance he can to show his appreciation for their patience and tolerance.

In the dead of night, he slips out into his back garden, the crisp October air burning his lungs in the best way as he ducks his way through the neighborhood, his feet taking him far away from the crowd of reporters that are still stationed in front of his own home. Hopefully they’ll all have dispersed by the time he gets back. Perhaps he should have turned on music or a movie or something, made them think he was settled in for a lazy night in.

He wanders aimlessly for a while, enjoying this taste of freedom and trying to remember the days when he could leave out the front door of his flat without any fanfare.

It’s dark, and thick clouds obscure whichever moon phase they’re in, but the street lamps glow yellow on the damp pavement, lighting his way forward. A crisp autumn breeze ruffles his hair and the leaves, sending them tumbling around him and skittering across the residential street that’s so much quieter than the bustle of New York. It’s good to be home, though.

He arrives at a bus stop and catches one headed into the city proper. It’s no secret that James lives in London, and therefore the general population has gotten used to glimpsing him on the tube or walking on the street or frequenting pubs. He knows people snap quick photos of him, and he’s always happy to stop and pose for a selfie with respectful fans, but mostly he’s left alone when he’s out by himself like this.

Nevertheless, he hears the excited undertones of people trying to inconspicuously point him out to their oblivious friends. He keeps his head down, mindlessly opening and closing apps on his phone for something to do as he pretends he doesn’t notice them. He won’t be on the bus much longer anyway.

Several people get off the bus with him, including a group of teenage girls who are whispering heatedly among themselves. It’s almost funny, watching them debate amongst themselves before one of them approaches him.

She’s red-faced but determined as she blurts, “Can we get a photo?”

“Sure thing,” he says good-naturedly, inclining his head for them to come closer. “Need me to take it?” He holds out a lanky arm and flops it around a bit. “Got a longer reach than any of you.”

He’s certain one of the girls is about to start crying with joy as they all nestle into his side and hand him a new-model iPhone. Damn, it’s fancier than his own. When he was their age, he had an old flip phone that lost reception if he breathed on it wrong. It was a tank though—he’d dropped that thing hundreds of times, and nary a scratch.

“Do me a favor,” he says, handing the phone back to its owner, “and don’t ping our location if you post to social media, yeah? I appreciate it.”

“You’re my favorite person ever,” one of the girls squeaks.

His face splits into a grin and he tucks his hands into his pockets. “Is that so?”

The girls spend the next five minutes chatting with him about music and how they’ve been following him ever since his YouTube days. He listens and chimes in every now and then when they ask him a direct question, but he prefers being passive in exchanges like this, content to hear peoples’ stories. It makes him feel normal, if only for a little while.

Finally, they take their leave, and James turns in the opposite direction even though the destination he had in mind is down the street the girls had just taken. But he’s been burned far too many times by encounters with seemingly innocent fans, only for them to begin following him around and showing up outside his house to talk to him again. He makes a point of not drawing out public encounters with his fans.

He wanders down a street he’s vaguely familiar with, figuring he can backtrack in a couple blocks. The night is too beautiful for him to be upset about needing to take a detour.

Everything looks different in the dark, the glow of neon signs bathing everything in hues of greens and blues and pinks and yellows. Shops and restaurants are mostly shut up for the night, their windows dark or blinds drawn. Dingey motels with pay-by-the-hour rates are in full swing, as are the pubs that have a revolving door of people in varying states of intoxication.

Deep bass that he can feel all the way in his chest catches his attention, and he gets turned around a few times, but he eventually finds the establishment: Bad Wolf Brews. At first, he doesn’t think it’s open, and that he must be mistaken about where the music is coming from, but the heavy front oak door opens, and he realizes the glass on the door is tempered so that the interior lights don’t shine through. The music is clear and heavy and vibrating in his bones. He doesn’t think twice before catching the door before it closes and slipping inside.

The air is humid and smells of sweat and stale beer. Bodies are writhing and gyrating to the rhythm blasting through invisible speakers. The acoustics are phenomenal; none of the layers are lost and the sound quality is nearly as good as if he were listening to the record at home on his own stereo system.

The lights are low, and he’s sure he trips into a few people in the minute it takes for his eyes to adjust to the dimness, but finally, he’s at the bar. There are three open stools, and he claims one between a blonde woman and a red-haired man as he wonders what the hell this dive bar serves. He can see beer taps, but he’s more of a cocktail guy. He must look as lost as he feels, because the bartender hands him a menu that looks like it was hand-written and then photo-copied. It jives with the overall vibe of the pub.

The bartender checks in with him a minute later. James opens a tab and orders a sidecar sans sugar, and is pleasantly surprised by the quality. Not to make assumptions, but he’d figured an establishment such as this would have cheap liquor. If the alcohol in his drink is cheap, it’s well masked.

When he’s drained the last drop and about to signal for another, a hand rests on his shoulder. “Can I buy your next round?”

James looks up into the face of a stranger. It’s a woman with striking green eyes and a disheveled pixie cut. Judging by her crimson cheeks and glazed eyes, she’s three sheets to the wind. There’s buzzed, then there’s drunk, and then there’s plastered. He prefers not to let himself get to that last category, and by extension, he doesn’t really like to associate much with people who won’t remember the night come morning.

“Thanks, but I’m good,” he says with his most charming grin. “G’night.”

He has no idea if the woman knows who he is, but the way she shrugs and saunters to the gentleman sitting beside James, he doubts it.

He gets clumsily propositioned a few more times and always politely declines with a smile. So far, nobody here seems to recognize him and he is going to ride out this anonymity for as long as it’ll last. It has been too long since he’s been able to sit in a pub and drink quietly. Well, quietly, insofar as crazed fans or paparazzi aren’t harassing him—the music is loud enough that he’s sure to have ringing in his ears for a few hours once he gets home.

But he’s not really in any rush to get home, and so he orders his fourth cocktail before making his way to the loo. Alcohol goes right through him, and it’s nearly gotten him in trouble on tour a time or two.

There’s no line, but the loo is crowded, and he tries to ignore the double-takes as he stands in front of a urinal to take care of business. If he wakes up tomorrow morning to find that someone snapped a photo of him having a piss, he’s going to lose his goddamn mind.

Bladder tended to, James keeps his head ducked and shoulders his way back into the bar. His stool is unoccupied, and when he steps forward, he realizes why. A purse sits on it, seemingly reserving the seat but he can’t figure out for whom. He’s about to take the cocktail the bartender hands him and stand against the shadowed wall when someone picks up the purse.

It’s his blonde-haired stool mate. She flashes him a broad grin that lights up her entire face and squeezes something deep in his stomach.

“Saved your seat for ya,” she says with the ease and confidence of someone who’s known him his whole life.

“Thanks,” he manages through a suddenly dry mouth.

Feeling like an idiot for standing and gaping, he slips into his seat and downs half his new sidecar in one go. It’s as though the ice has been broken now, and she turns to him, her elbow on the counter and her cheek propped on her fist.

“Pretty sure you could outdrink a fish, mate,” she drawls, smiling again in that easy way that does too many strange things to his insides. “You’ve been knockin’ ‘em back for over an hour now.”

Has it really been that long? James checks his watch, and yup, it’s half past ten. The paps should be gone from his house by now, but he feels no draw to leave this place. The alcohol has left him pleasantly tipsy and warm, but he’s more drunk on the fantasy that he’s just a normal bloke having a nice night out in a newly-discovered dive bar.

“Fish don’t really drink though, do they? They absorb water through their gills via osmosis,” he replies, and he wants to bite his tongue off because what the fuck was that??

This woman, whatever her name is, doesn’t seem to mind his answer though, because her face scrunches in a giggle. His body is hot and throbbing with more than drink now, and he wants to hear that sound again but his brain has stopped working.

“Is that so different from you absorbin’ alcohol through your bloodstream?” she muses, finishing off whatever is in her short tumbler.

“Can I buy your next round?” he blurts rather than responding to her question, which he’s almost certain was rhetorical.

Her smile melts into something softer, something private and a little shy. “If you’d like.”

“I do.” He flags down the bartender and glances at his new companion expectantly.

“Gin and tonic,” she says. She thanks the bartender, then James when she takes her first sip. “I’m Rose, by the way.”

“James,” he says, feeling stupid because his face is plastered all over London, which likes to boast that it’s the home of international celeb James Noble. But wouldn’t he seem more of an arse if he just assumed this gorgeous woman knew who he was?

Nevertheless, his stomach sinks a bit when she snorts into her drink and says, “I thought it was you.”

“Yup, it’s me,” he forces, his voice flat. He hides his frown with his glass, knocking back the rest of his sidecar like it’s a shot. The room sways slightly with the violent motion of his head, and maybe he’s slightly drunker than he’d thought.

If Rose catches on to his sudden sour mood, she doesn’t mention it. “What brings you here to Bad Wolf?”

He shrugs and blows out a noisy breath. “I dunno. Went for a walk, ended up here.”

“Those are the best sort of adventures.” She hums wistfully. “Sometimes you find what you didn’t know you needed when you let yourself get lost.”

That observation is far too astute for his current state of mind, so instead he says, “Would you like to dance with me?”

Her eyes flicker across his face for a brief moment before she says, “Okay.”

He hops down from his stool, but Rose hesitates, clutching her purse and coat awkwardly. The bartender helpfully tells her to keep them on her stool, and he’ll keep an eye on it. Rose flashes him a grin that James would rather she flash at him, but he realizes that is utterly absurd, so he simply rests his coat on top of her things to better hide them from view. He then holds out his hand for her. Her palm is soft and warm against his as he leads her to the crowded dance floor.

They find space towards the back of the pub, hidden in the shadows of a hallway that states it’s closed off to patrons. And of course, of fucking course, right when he rests his hands on her hips to find the rhythm of the song, a new one comes on, and his own voice belts from the speakers.

“Fucking hell,” he mutters. He loves his music—he made it, after all—but he can’t help but feel pretentious and more than a little silly to dance to it like this.

Rose, however, grins and says, “Oh, come on, this is one of my favorites.”

She catches his hands where he’d loosened them at her waist and forces him to grab hold of her. She’s wearing high-waisted trousers and a top that leaves a sliver of her belly exposed. His thumb grazes the skin of her bare side, and it’s enough to send tingles through his body. Rose, meanwhile, slings her arms around his shoulders and begins to rock her hips from side to side in sync with the bass, embellishing the motions until she looks absolutely ridiculous but so, so beautiful.

He can’t help but grin and laugh, and he mirrors her movements until they’re both dancing like idiots to his music.

“This is how my baby brother dances,” she explains, bouncing up and down while twisting her hips. “We have regular dance parties together.”

“How old’s your brother?” he asks.

“Just turned four.”

He blinks, and blood rushes from his face. “And… and how old are you?”

“A perfectly legal twenty-four,” she drawls, reaching up to flick his nose. “You can start breathing again.”

Thank fuck.

“That’s quite the age gap.”

“My mum got remarried when I was nineteen,” Rose says with a shrug. “She and my stepdad didn’t waste much time.”

“Clearly,” he mutters under his breath.

“It does feel a bit like they’ve started over,” Rose confesses with a too-stiff shrug. “New family, new life, and I’m the interloper.

There is no way this vivacious woman in front of him could ever be considered an interloper, but before he can tell her that, she continues, “Mum does her best to assure me otherwise, but still. It’s hard to watch all the things Mum and Dad are able to do for Tony—that’s my brother, Tony—when Mum struggled so much as a single mum with me.”

“Your dad’s not in the picture?”

A sad smile pinches her face, and he regrets asking.

“No, I never knew him. He died when I was a baby.”

“I… I’m so sorry.” Well, he’s totally buggered this all up, hasn’t he? He wracks his brain on how to salvage the easy banter they’d had at the bar, but draws a blank.

Rose seems to realize they’ve lost the mood, but she breaks out into a lazy grin and says, “Since you seemed so opposed to dancing to your own music, it’ll please you to know a new song’s on. C’mon, show me your moves.”

He’s not going to look a gift horse in the mouth, and so he follows her lead, watching her dance her heart out until her cheeks are pink and her hair is damp with sweat. He’s sure he doesn’t look much better, since he can feel the perspiration beading down his back and beneath his arms, but he can’t bring himself to care. Tonight has been the most fun he’s had in a very long time. Clubbing in New York had been a lark, but he’s been swarmed by his American fans half the night, and had been busy drowning his latest heartbreak to fully enjoy it. But here, now, with Rose, it’s like he’s any other bloke in a pub, chatting up a pretty girl he wants to get to know.

Their bodies are wrapped around each other with the ease and grace of partners who have known each other for years, and he forgets that he has known Rose for all of a few hours. He never wants this night to end. He wants to cling to this fairytale and pretend that the clock isn’t about to strike the proverbial midnight.

But time marches on as always. The clock really does strike midnight, and the bartender begins to clear people out of his establishment. James is as exhausted as he is exhilarated, no longer drunk on booze but rather the company of Rose and the magic they made together by simply dancing the night away.

They head back to the bar to retrieve their coats and her purse, and to close out their tabs. James slides his credit card to the bartender and asks him to charge everyone’s tab to his card. If the bartender is surprised, he hides it well. A few minutes later, James is signing off on the receipt of purchase of several thousand pounds-worth of alcohol. His personal assistant is sure to be confused as hell when she wakes up to see the charge. He fires off a quick warning text to her so she doesn’t open up a fraudulent charge claim.

James salutes the bartender, knowing he’ll come back to this pub as often as he can until he’s found out and this place once again becomes somewhere that’s overrun with his fans.

The night is refreshingly cold when he and Rose emerge into it, a nice change after the stifling, sweaty heat of the bar. However, she hunches her shoulders against the chill, prompting him to wrap his arm around her waist and tug her into his side, all too eager to lend her some of his body heat.

“Can I walk you somewhere?” he asks, glancing around the street that is now full of the drunken patrons who’d been in the pub with them. They all disperse in different directions, stumbling home or to a different bar that is still open. “Or wait with you ‘til you catch a cab?”

“Yeah, sure,” she says, pulling up her phone to order a ride. She taps on the screen for a few quiet moments then says, “Done. Should be here in a few minutes.”

They descend into a slightly awkward silence that James wants to break, but he can’t think of anything clever to say. So he says nothing, and finally headlights wash over them, momentarily blinding them before a taxi pulls up.

“D’you wanna share?” she asks, opening the door to the back seat.

Is she as reluctant to leave him as he is to leave her? Or is she being polite and eco-friendly by ride sharing? Nevertheless, he nods and slides into the back seat beside her.

There is something incredibly intimate about sitting with Rose in the dark interior of the taxi, and he feels like he’s fifteen and wondering how to hold his date’s hand after a cheap night out at the cinemas. He fists his hands together, knotting his fingers until his knuckles pop.

The driver goes to the address Rose provides first, and all too soon they’ve arrived.

“I’ll cover the fare,” he says when she makes to hand over some bank notes to the diver. “It’d be my pleasure.”

She hesitates, but nods, then opens the door to climb out of the car. His pulse quickens as he watches her walk away with nothing but a, “Goodnight.”

“Can you wait just a minute?” he asks the driver.

“Meter’s still runnin’,” he grunts.

“That’s fine.”

James scrambles out of the taxi. “Hey, Rose?”

She turns back to face him, frowning.

“I… er… I had a great time tonight,” he says lamely, but her frown relaxes into a smile. “It was fun. With you. I had fun.”

“Yeah, me too,” she answers.

He licks his lips; his mouth is bone dry and his pulse pounds in his ears, making his vision throb with each frenzied beat.

“Do you… do you maybe wanna do it again some time? Hang out together? I… I’d really like to see you again,” he says, cursing his clumsy, fumbling words.

She scrutinizes him for a long moment, her expression indecipherable. His stomach sinks. Maybe this was a one-off, a story for her to tell her mates.

You’ll never guess who I met at the pub last night. James Noble! He paid for all my drinks and we danced like idiots.

He stews in his misery of doubt, and just when he’s about to tell her to forget about it, she slowly nods.

“Yeah, okay. I’d like that.”

“Really?” he asks, a hopeful edge creeping into his voice.

She laughs. “Really.”

“Brilliant!” James fumbles in his pocket for his phone, and he thrusts it at her. “Give me your number? I’ll text you. Or call.”

He rocks back and forth on his toes and heels, waiting for her to finish up with his phone. He has a sudden, potent bolt of panic that she’s snooping through his private messages or photographs for something to use against him to make a quick profit, but before that panic can take root, she hands his mobile back to him. It’s open to a new texting conversation.

From: 🌹 Bad Wolf Girl 🌹

Now I’ve got your number too 😉

He beams at the name she’s given to herself in his contacts, then he pockets his phone.

“I’ll see you later,” he says.

“You better,” she replies with that knee-weakening smile he’s grown to love over the course of the night. “See ya.”

“Bye.”

He stands there like a moron until she’s safely inside, then he turns back to the taxi and climbs in. The deserted streets streak by as the driver takes him to his neighborhood. He never gives his address though; he always chooses a destination a few streets away, just in case.

James generously tips the driver and bids him goodnight before slipping into the night to his home. He was right: the paparazzi are gone. There is no fanfare as he slips his key into the lock and lets himself into his house. It’s warm and cozy, but still too quiet for his liking.

Between the plane ride and his night out, he feels greasy and disgusting, and indulges in a hot shower before bed. He washes Rose’s scent off of his body, an intoxicating blend of jasmine and vanilla that’s as sweet as it is musky.

He’s groggy by the time he crawls into his giant, king-sized bed and burrows deep into his mounds of pillows and duvets. One of his ex-girlfriends once teased that he turns into the marshmallow man when he sleeps.

His sleep is deep and dreamless, and when he awakes with the sun the following morning, he feels more refreshed and invigorated than he ever remembers being. He’s got a full day of meetings with his songwriting team to brainstorm his next album, and he is ready.

But first, he checks his phone. There’s nothing from Rose, which makes him a little sad, but also nothing from his publicist, which is always a good sign. If ever she messages or calls him first thing in the morning, it always means there’s some sort of dumpster fire to put out. Usually a dumpster fire full of compromising photos of him.

He makes a point of not Googling himself, but he does occasionally check his social media pages for new posts about him, wanting to know when, where, and how his fans came across him in the wild. He easily finds the photo that he took with the group of teenage girls, and makes a point to like the original post and type a quick, “Nice to meet you all. Thanks for chatting with me last night - J” in the comments section. He snorts to himself as his comment blows up within seconds.

But other than some grainy photos of him riding the bus, he can’t find any other photos of himself. Nothing of him wandering the streets or drinking in the pub or even having a wee in the mens’ room. And best of all, there’s nothing of him and Rose. No photos of them dancing together or sharing a cab. If Rose has a social media account, it didn’t post any sneaky photos or bragging stories about dancing all night with James Noble.

He can’t quite believe it; he managed to have a fun night out drinking without it all being thrown back in his face the next morning. Within seconds, he’s grinning to himself and pulling up Rose’s contact information. It’s still in his phone, further proof that his night with her wasn’t some sort of jetlagged fever dream. She was real.

“Good morning. I hope you slept well. Thanks for last night.”

She responds almost instantly. Good morning to you too. I should be thanking you for paying my drink tab and taxi fare 😉 And for being an excellent dance partner.

“The pleasure was all mine, on all counts.” He sends that message, then types out a new one, “I’m gonna be in meetings all day (yes, I know it’s Sunday), so please don’t be discouraged if I don’t reply. But I’d really like to see you again. Want to do dinner or drinks or coffee or something?”

He doesn’t wait for an answer, needing to make himself presentable for when his driver picks him up in an hour. Yet he can’t help but check his phone every three seconds, until finally there’s a message from Rose.

Yeah, I’d like that. I work ‘til five most nights, but I’m free after that. Or we can wait ‘til the weekend.

With spirits lighter than they’ve been in months, James steps out of his house with a broad, stupid grin that the ever-present crowd of paparazzi are all too happy to photograph.

[sokkas-honour]

For the Spotify wrapped, could you do 12 and Korra?

ofc i can! hope you like it :)

run the world!! - korra x reader

paring: korra x fem!reader

wc: 3k

summary/notes: i tend to try and my reader inserts as gn as possible but this one is female. it doesn’t fully relate to the song but i tried.

taglist: @biqherosix @draqondance

so pessimistic, so narcissistic, so cynical, welcome to my own little world.

part two

“so y/n, what do you think of us going to seingi’s after the game? you could meet our new teammate!” bolin approached you as soon as you came out of your slot in the gym with your pro bending team, the red sands rabaroos.

“i don’t have a game tonight bo.” you chuckled, wiping the sweat off of your forehead from your intense training session. you loved seeing the excitement on your best friends face whenever he mentionned his mysterious new teammate.

“mako and i do! don’t you want to watch us beat the zebra frogs?” he insisted, flashing his signature green pleading eyes that always made you cave.

“all right big guy, i’m down.” you gave in and patted his shoulder before you made your way down the hallway to lockerooms in order to change. right as you made the right turn you heard him yell out a ‘yes’ and pictured him punching his fist up in the air. you rolled your eyes and smiled at the idea of the other earth bender doing such but he was your best friend after all, what did you expect?

a couple of hours later after you’d gone home, showered and switched into more casual attire, you found yourself back at the probending arena though now a crowd had formed on the steps as everyone waited for the doors to open. you scanned the crowd and spotted a couple of people having fire ferret signs which made you smile.

you made your way through said crowd and up the stairs only to be met with a slightly smaller crowd of people trying to get the guard, rahaar, to let them in early to see their favorite team the game started. you chuckled slightly at their lousy attempts which guard rahaar’s attention.

“y/n!” he smiled as you pushed your way to the front and greeted him. “come on right in, enjoy the game!”

you thanked him and quickly slithered into the building so that he wouldn’t have to knock down anyone who tried to get in, and thankfully for him, no one did. though you were sure a couple of them complained at the fact that you’d just been able to enter like that. what could you say? they were the pros of being a pro bender.

you took your time to make your way to where you friends were, prepping themselves for the game in the gym and you had guess right as you heard the two brothers arguing.

“where is she?” you heard mako’s voice first as you approached the door and knocked.

“see mako, she’s there!” you could hear the smile in bolins voice as someone’s footsteps came to open the door to let who they thought was their new teammate in.

“sorry to disappoint but i’m not your new teammate.” you awkwardly joked as you met eyes with mako who raised his eyebrow at your presence as he stood next to the door.

“y/n! you’re here!” bolin exclaimed excitedly from behind his older brother.

“bo invited me to join you, your new teammate and him for dinner after the game so i figured i’d see the second best pro bending team play.” you explained as a response to seeing makos slightly confused expression which he nodded to and his face went back to his usual stoic and neutral expression.

“second best?” bolin inquired, placing his hands on his hips as he smirked.

“yeah, second best.” you confirmed, crossing your arms and defying him with your gaze.

“well y/n, we’ll see about that when we play each other in two weeks.” mako joined in on the playful rivalry and you nodded, agreeing to see exactly which of your teams was better.

“two weeks, hope you fire ferrets will be ready to pay for dinner at narook’s in order to celebrate my victory.” you proposed a bet which immediately made the innocent rivalry sound a bit more interesting. you extended your hand to bolin who was now in front of you, intending for him to shake on it as soon as he heard the mention of a paid dinner.

“you’re on!” bolin immediately agreed and place his hand on yours and you both shook on it.

“this is great and all but it doesn’t change the fact that we’re still missing a player and doors open in ten.” mako interrupted your intense playful gazes to alert bolin of the awkward situation they were in.

“shit, doors open in ten? i should go now if i want to go to the bathroom and get popcorn without a line.” mako raised an eyebrow once again at your strange way to exit but it sounded about right, it was you of course, you always had weird priorities. he had hoped you’d maybe take the time to help them figure out what to do but he knew it wasn’t your job to help them, hell, if anything you shouldn’t because one, you were on rival teams and two, realistically you couldn’t do anything.

“make sure you get good seats so you can see how just how much we’ll crush you!” bolin called as you left the gym. you give him a thumbs up in the air, not bothering to turn around.

a false commitment, oh, i never listened

you found a nice spot not too far from the platform after you’d gotten your popcorn. you munched on it as you watched the seats slowly fill, face scrunching up whenever you see someone wearing non fire ferret merch.

you knew they were going to win, they always did, at least with their old teammate, hasook. you hadn’t bothered to listen to their matches from home so you were going in blind.

you would never really admit to never listening to your friends matches, you just didn’t see the point in listening in on the competition, it’s useless. you need to see in front of you in order to study their tactics.

bolin didn’t know that when he invited you to come see their match, you had already planned to come in order to see how much of a rookie their new teammate was, it was kind of an opportunity for you to feel a bit better about your team, as awful as that sounds. one of your teammates had told you that they’d heard of a new waterbender on the fire ferrets that practice before seeing your friend.

you shoved popcorn into your mouth as the lights dimmed and the announcer’s voice boomed throughout the entire stadium. you quickly swallowed in order to cheer when they announced the fire ferrets. the people seated around you didn’t seem to enjoy your cheering for the newer team but at the same time, you didn’t enjoy their cheering for the opposite team.

you leaned in as you saw the three benders in red be brought to the stage and your eyes widened when they landed on the one with the blue rope. she wasn’t small by any means, you couldn’t see her face but just by her stance you could tell she was beautiful.

suddenly, you didn’t even look at your friend’s techniques as they played like they always did in order to give them criticism, no, you couldn’t take your eyes off of the water tribe girl.

you were sure it was only her second or third game but the way she moved made it seem like pro bending was something she’d been practicing for ages. god you wished this game would wrap up so you could meet her.

and im just a problem, and no one's ever solved it,

they announced the fire ferrets win and that’s when you snapped out of your trance, your popcorn long forgotten as you watched the waterbender move around confidently and knocking down her opponents.

little by little, people left their seats and exited the arena all while chatting up a storm about how the game went. you found yourself a part of that crowd up until a certain point where you turned in an opposite direction to see your friends.

you waited for them to exit as you leaned on the wall thinking of how to introduce yourself to the girl that had caught your attention.

“well y/n, impressed yet?” mako was the one to take you out of your thoughts as you looked up at him a smirk quickly making it onto your face.

“honestly no, your form was sloppy.”

“uh huh, sure, i’m totally taking firebending advice from an earth bender.” he rolled his eyes sassily, making sure to emphasise his and your bending.

“you’re taking advice from someone who dated a firebender mister.” you retorted, referring to your past lovers.

before he could reply, bolin came out with a girl as they talked about the game. bolin stopped in his tracks when he saw you and smiled.

you turned your head and mentally, your draw dropped. she was even prettier in person. she was a bit taller than you, her biceps accentuated by her water tribe getup, she had her hair in a traditional ponytail and her blue eyes held nothing but excitement that lingered from the game.

“not a bad game for a rookie.” was the first thing you said to her, making you want to slap your forehead at how dumb that sounded.

“not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment.” she rose an eye brow as she made eye contact with you. you had to control yourself in order not to blush and break your usual cool composure.

“y/n here doesn’t really give compliments, sorry korra.” bolin jokily informed his teammate earning an arm crossing from you as an attempt to not let the girl see how she made you feel by just standing in front of you.

“then thanks i suppose.” was what she settled with and almost instantly, your mind made a connection with her name, korra. as in avatar korra. as in the newcomer to republic city.

“you guys didn’t tell me the avatar was apart of your team.” you ignored korra’s response, the question being aimed at the brothers.

“it was in the papers.” mako stated as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“as if i read the papers mako my boy.” you replied, taking a step closer to him, making sure to match your tone which earned a small blush on the firebender’s cheeks which was exactly what you wanted to do.

“yeah, i’m the avatar, big deal. let’s go eat.” korra seemed to get annoyed at your interaction with the firebender, making you cock an eyebrow in confusion. don’t tell me she likes mako was the only thing on your mind as you all nodded.

“wait, she’s coming too?” korra asked as she saw you follow them once you all stepped outside. the boys nodded which earned a little huff from the avatar. your happiness dimmed a bit at the thought of her not wanting to spend time with you, oh well, she’d have to deal with it.

oh, i don't think that i could be the one that you want me to be, its hard for me sometimes to see the light inside my love, i, i, i, i, want to run the world, the world, the world, the world

you all sat around a table at seingi’s, the closest firenation restaurant to the arena. it was surprisingly empty for a friday night. you stared at the menu trying to figure out what you wanted.

“i’m going to get the extra spicy fire noodles.” korra was the first one to announce what she was getting. she put the menu back on the table and waited for everyone to announce theirs.

“you sure you’ll be able to handle that?” you questioned, not bothering to look away from the menu. you knew your question infuriated her, god, you really did suck at flirting.

“if you hadn’t notice yet, i’m also a firebender. so yeah, i think i can handle my spice.” she had seemed to take offense to your question which made you laugh a bit.

“whatever you say miss avatar.” you rolled your eyes with a playful grin as you lowered your menu. you wanted to laugh at the offended expression on her face but you held it in this time, you still wanted her to like you.

“okay well i’m taking the same as korra.” mako announced in an attempt to break up whatever was going, afraid that korra’s short temper would act up to your snarky comments.

“i am too. how about you y/n.” all three of them were taking the spicy noodles. you were originally going to take them as well but that changed once everyone did as well.

“i’m taking the roast duck.” you announced, finally putting down the menu. korra rolled her eyes which confused you.

“you’ve got a problem with that avatar?” you questioned, a smirk making its way onto your face. if your presence seemed to annoy her, then by the spirits were you going to have fun with it. mako knew exactly what you were doing, he’d seen you do it before and knew that your flirting always seemed to dig yourself into a hole that was impossible to get out of.

“no, just confused as to why you’re still here. this is a team celebratory dinner.” she explained, her eyes narrowing you.

“i’m the honorary team member sweetheart. i-" before you could finish your explanation, you felt bolin kick in you in the shin from in front of you.

you hadn’t noticed mako that was seated next to you and bolin, who was in front of you, were secretly communicating to try and break up whatever fight that could happen. you were too engrossed in the beautiful avatar to notice.

“y/n’s our friend and we haven’t had dinner together in a while.” bolin explained after laughing nervously. korra nodded before looking over to mako to discuss his winning play.

everyone participated in the conversion but you. sure you listened but you couldn’t tear your eyes off of korra, wether she was speaking or not. the passion, the excitement and the love in her gaze and words as she spoke to the brothers about the game made you jealous, spirits did you wish she would talk that way to you.

you barely knew her and she didn’t seem to particularly love you but you wanted to be her entire world after just one look at her.

i’m never honest, i'm faking all this

dinner had gone on without much noise from you, which definitely raised suspicions for the two brothers. korra didn’t seem to care or notice so when she got up to go to the bathroom, their attention immediately went to you.

“is everything alright y/n?” bolin asked you, concern written all over his face.

“yeah, just a bit tired is all.” you lied, not wanting them to catch on that korra was filling your thoughts.

“you sure?” mako insisted, placing a hand on your shoulder. you nodded and looked away. you spotted korra and her smile dropped when mako placed his hand on your shoulder.

“yeah. can i finish your noodles?” you attempted to switch the subject, batting your eyelashes at mako in an exaggerated manor. he laughed and switched your dishes.

you danced a little bit in your seat and teased the broth before you ate the noodles, still warm.

“really? you’re still hungry? that duck was huge.” korra commented once she came back to her seat.

“i’m just making sure we don’t waste any money.” you started matter of factly which earned what was probably the fifth eye roll of the night from the avatar.

once again, mako and bolin steared the conversation in another direction to avoid any conflict. this time though, you made sure you were heard.

once dinner was over and you had all stepped out, korra approached you and your heartrate picked up.

“see? told you i could handle the spice.” she teased which came as a surprise to you, she hadn’t said anything particularly friendly to you all evening but you hadn’t either.

“master of four elements, master of all foods.” you joked, shoving your hands in your pockets. she chuckled at your words and suddenly, it was your favourite sound in the world.

Just point those fingers, cause i could never be hurt.

bolin accompanied korra to the docks so she could head back to air temple island and mako walked you back to your appartement.

“you suck at flirting y/n.” was the first he said when the others had left.

“and you’re better than me? mister i don’t show emotions?” you replied as you started walking, not wanting him to bring up anything that happened during dinner.

“please, i managed to get you.” he teased, jogging to catch up to you.

“you managed to take me on one date.” you corrected him, not taking your eyes off of the road in front of you.

“same difference.” he rolled his eyes.

“she likes you.” a small silence had settled and you decided to break it.

“who, korra? please, the bickering between the two of you was filled with sexual tension.” he teased, gently bumping his shoulder into yours.

“nah, she looked at you a certain way. besides, i don’t like miss prissy avatar.”

“you know y/n, that dinner was the first time i’ve seen you not try to the center of attention during dinner. and you have no room to call her prissy when you tend to be no better.”

“believe me, i could care less. i was just tired.” you stopped walking as you had arrived in front of your apartment building.

“i know you like her and, a word of advice, don’t be too cynical with her like you’ve been with basically all of your exes. korra isn’t the type of girl to let that slide.” he said before bidding you goodbye and retracting his steps.

you processed his words as you went up the stairs. he was right but you’d never admit it.

you went to your window that faced air temple island and just stared at it, hoping that korra had gotten home safe.

unbeknownst to you, korra was looking out of her window and staring at the apartments, hoping that one of them was yours.

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Fish

For @whump-advent-calendar‘s day 4-6, Burn/Candles

CW: Referenced medical whump and dehumanization, light burn (accidental), captivity, muzzling, drugging reference, reluctant whumper turned caretaker

Introduction | Siren Song | Cries | Here | Not Sure | Draw Blood | Fish | Signs

---

BAHRAM’S NOTES NOTE TO SELF - SAVE IN EXTERNAL HARD DRIVE. DO NOT LET DR. L SEE.

October 22nd, 20XX 3:45 am Mer in Residence: 19 Days

It’s time to admit I’m more or less keeping a diary at this point as I get to understanding him. So far I’ve written separate notes to myself… for ten or so straight days of the nineteen we’ve had him here, and it’s getting harder to write the official transcriptions the way Dr. L wants me to.

Dr. Lachlan insists I call the mer ‘it’, that it’s to help me distance myself emotionally since it’s such a good mimic of humanity, but I don’t think it’s a damn mimic, I think it’s just… human.

I mean, obviously it’s not HUMAN, but… Miah spelled it out for me, we had an argument about this when he first got here. She gets so angry that he’s getting hurt and you know, I guess I believed Dr. L - mer aren’t my specialty field, I’m a snake man really, I don’t know the first bloody thing about fucking cetaceans. 

Anyway, I said to her at the time, “It’s not human.”

She told me, “Maybe not H-U-M-A-N, but P-E-R-S-O-N,” just like jabbing me in the chest afterward. Also, Miah can fingerspell in a way that really makes you feel like a six year old getting yelled at by your mother, for the record. I can’t describe it any other way. I was ready to just melt away from personal embarrassment before she even finished signing “person.”

That’s not the point of this. 

I didn’t start a diary just to tell myself how right Miah is about all of this, but hey, here we are.

I need some days off so badly.

Miah wasn’t around today, it’s really just been me and the mer - I’m off for four days coming up here, after 20 days of work, and she’s going to come in and do 24-hour watch until I’m back. It’s not so bad - I don’t really know anyone here, and the bed’s comfortable enough. Dr. L’s paying rent on my apartment so I won’t lose it while I’m working, anyway.

I still feel like some low-level henchman, though. Like any moment some asshole in a tank top is going to show up with guns and I’ll just be a faceless evil stepping stone before the boss fight with Dr. L. 

I mean, we all know that Dr. L’s going to be the boss fight, right? Anders would just like lay down or throw Miah in front of himself or something.

No, that’s not fair, he really does love her.

Bahram this is all hypotheticals about a video game. Get back on track, man.

So Miah must have gone shopping or something. She came back with a bag full of these candles from this bookstore she really likes. I mean she came back with an insane amount of books, too, but she had this candle she pulled out and put down on my desk.

She set down the candle - it’s this really nice deep blue and has some kind of like ocean scene painted on the label, like, isn’t that thematic - and smiled at me. “This one reminded me of what we’re doing,” She told me, and her signs were… softer. Her expressions were softer alongside them.

Does that mean… anything? I don’t know. She just put it on my desk and then wandered off. I thanked her but I had to take her shoulder and get her to look at me, first. Maybe her face was a little red.

Maybe not. 

We keep the tank room pretty warm, I’m sort of cold-natured and the mer seems more active when we keep the lights really warm, so… 

I don’t get why she bought me a candle and why she looked away before I could thank her for it. I don’t get it, and I feel like I should, but I don’t. Is she not looking because it wasn’t a big deal, or because it was a big deal, or… what?

I really WOULD sink into the floor if Dr. L or Miah ever saw that I wrote this. Get it together, Bahram. You are not writing a diary about Miah fucking Kirsse. 

It’s been just me and the mer, all day. Dr. L was gone, too, meeting with whoever’s funding this whole thing. She’ll be gone until next week, so there’s no real work getting done, for now. Just blood draws.

She’s showing them its claws she took off. I don’t know why. Honestly, I have such a bad feeling about this, but I needed the cash and nowhere else was hiring for a job that would give me room and board and still time to work on my own research. Not that I’ve done a bit of THAT in a week.

I get too distracted by the mer.

He swims in circles. He stares at nothing, or pokes the plastic coral and ferns we got him, or hides in his cave. I can switch the screens over to watch the camera feed from inside the cave, but he doesn’t do much in there, either. I caught him picking at his scales, and I need to ask Dr. L about that. She took three scales off his tail, which for the record I had nothing to do with (whose record? I’m writing this to myself, and what the fuck does it matter about scales when I’m the one sticking the damn needle in his elbow twice a week), and I caught him sort of whistling sadly and picking at the empty spaces. 

They’ll grow back, Dr. L says. She’s not worried.

I am.

A little.

I’m starting to think Dr. L is lying about a lot of things, and I’m not sure what to do about that. If anything. This is a job, and I get paid better than I’ve ever been paid in my life. So… what do I do?

I could call the hotline and report him. It’s anonymous. 

She’d know I did it.

I don’t know why, but… I don’t want her to know it was me. Cowardice, I guess. Pure bloody cowardice.

But Miah hasn’t emailed the hotline, either. We can’t both be cowards, right?

Anyway.

Tonight was tank cleaning, which is a bloody fucking chore. Anders was around long enough to help me get the mer tranq’d and into the lift and then the rolling tank where he can just sit until I get my work done. Poor thing just lolls around when he’s tranq’d up. Barely blinks. 

Doesn’t stop its fucking crying, though.

We took a lot of blood from him today, too, so he was very weak. Barely moved, just curled himself up small so he was totally in the water and watched me work after Anders left. We’ve got a scrubber machine that does the hard work, I just have to hose some things down and then make sure its filter is still operating correctly. Watch the scrubber. Whole process takes about three hours from start to tank totally refilled, as long as I do it weekly. It’ll take much longer if I let it slide.

Double-checked the camera in the cave, and when I walked out of it I saw the mer’s head was up, watching everything I was doing. He dropped right back down under the water when he saw me looking at him. The muzzle looks so monstrous on him, but more than that, it makes him look like a monster.

Maybe Dr. L doesn’t muzzle him to keep us safe, but to keep me from seeing his expressions while I’m here with him all day.

No, that’s stupid. She doesn’t even think he’s sentient, right?

I finished up, and when I came to roll him back to the lift, I saw he’d popped his head up out of the rolling tank and was looking around the room itself. He hasn’t really looked around at all before this, and he was still tranq’d but maybe I fucked up the dosage? Because he was pretty alert, kind of whistling to himself and giving little chirps and clicks. He sounds like some weird mix of killer whale and fucking otters or something. When he saw me, he flinched back down under the water, but I had this idea.

Dr. L took his claws, and he’s still muzzled except when he’s on the table or when he eats, so like, it’s not like he can hurt me, right?

His eyes had gone to my desk, looking at… I guess all my books and papers and my laptop and everything. Maybe the candle. I waved my hand around until I saw that he was watching me again. With those big eyes it’s hard to tell exactly what he’s looking at, but when I clapped my hands he blinked at me, so I know he can hear it, can see me.

Then - and I swear I’m not lying - he moved himself up out of the water, and put his palms together. His earfins twitched out and back against his scalp, and his white hair dripped water all down his shoulders. 

He cocked his head at me. Then he put his hands together, harder this time. He clapped, and then… he clicked.

I KNEW it. I KNEW clicks were questions. Dr. L said their brains don’t work that way, but I bet they do. Who’s even considered how their brains work? Maybe they’re just like us. All the studying I’ve been doing shows that the scans we’ve done of dead ones are pretty similar in overall size and placement of their center of language. They’ve shown that mer populations have their own dialects if they don’t interact with each other, like the Atlantic transients sound totally different than the Pacific transients, which sound different than the residents that stick close to the coastlines up by Alaska...

Making my own head hurt. I don’t even care about fucking mammals, but I guess I do now. 

“That’s right,” I said when he clapped, not like he can understand but still. I said it, and I clapped again, and he clapped back. “Can you give me your head? I’ll take your muzzle off, yeah? If you don’t bite.”

Dumbest fucking idea ever, but hey. 

I think maybe he knows the word muzzle, because he whistled and shrunk down again, lowering his hands. His ear flaps flattened again. I saw the deep red marks around his neck, from how we have to use the catch-pole to get him out, and I just. I just felt like shit, you know?

I’m shit, that’s what I am, we’re torturing a child, more or less, who hasn’t done a thing to anyone but be by himself because he lost his bloody fucking family. I can’t keep telling myself I’m not the bad guy, you know? 

I’m going to jail if I report him, aren’t I? I helped bring him in, after all. There’s my whole career down the drain.

Is this how it felt when everyone was being shit to monkeys in the 70′s and calling it psychology? Did some of them just go along with it because they thought they had to?

This is not helpful, Bahram.

I sat down at my desk and tried to figure it out. His eyes were on me the whole time. I looked over at Miah’s candle, and looked at the label. Like I said, ocean scene. Fronds and ferns and…

I turned the label to face the mer, and tapped on the image with my finger. “Fish,” I said, feeling dumb as hell. I told myself, it’s a bloody animal, Dr. L would roll around laughing at you for this.

But he came back up out of the water. There was a long moment, and I heard him click, and then a soft, “Sssshhhhhh,” sound came from behind his muzzle. They have lips like ours, although their way of communicating is basically whalesong and relies heavily on underwater acoustics. He’s louder in the tank than out of it, although I guess fear might make him quiet, too.

The recordings I found on youtube they get in the ocean are deafening loud. Their voices travel so well underwater, it’s amazing. People sell fucking CDs with mersong over piano to fall asleep to. 

I poked at the ocean scene on the label again. “Fish,” I said firmly. “Do you want fish?”

He knows fish. 

I KNOW he knows fish because he sat up, held out his right arm, and tapped his elbow with a blunt-edged, broken-off claw before he looked back at me, trembling with fear. He clicked again, twice.

I can’t even tell you how shit I feel, realizing he was asking if I was going to take his blood first. That’s what he meant, it has to be. He poked at the exact spot where he’s bruised up from the needle. 

But it makes sense, right? 

He’s been here twenty days, more or less. Every couple of days, when he’s hungry enough, we bribe him with fish to get the pole on him, take blood or whatever else, and then he eats. 

No, WE don’t take his blood. I take his blood.

He thinks - and he’s fucking thinking, I know he is - that he only eats if we stick a needle in him.

I’m hurting a child.

I’m teaching a child to be hurt.

I’m not religious but this feels like the sort of thing you ask for forgiveness for, doesn’t it? I should call Maman and ask her who I could talk to. I’m going to call Maman or Baba tomorrow.

No I’m not.

What would I tell them I need to speak to someone about?

What if whoever I speak to calls and reports him, and Dr. L knows it was because of me?

I need to stop thinking about this. 

“No, NOT draw blood,” I said, and he whimpered again, held out his arm further, closer to me, tapped his elbow again. I knew he could still hurt me - their strength is prodigious, the first time we got him out of the tank he nearly pulled Dr. L down into the water with him - but I decided it was worth the risk. 

I kept thinking, he’s more scared of me than I am of him, but you know, of course he is. He’s the one with bruises.

I stretched my own arm out and showed it to him. He flinched back a little, and then leaned forward again, sitting in the little rolling tank that’s barely big enough to hold him. His blunt claws touched my arm, delicate as a feather, clicking as he poked at the sleeve of my sweater. 

“No draw blood,” I said. “Just fish. Eat.” I mimed chewing.

He looked at me and clicked twice, cocking his head, then looked at my candle from Miah, pointing at the ocean scene. “Ffff-sshhhh,” he said, muffled. 

“No, that’s a candle, it just has fish painted on it. Candle. Fire. Yes?”

Blank stare. 

Then, repeated, “Ffff-sssshhh.”

I sighed and pulled out my little lighter. I don’t smoke or anything, but I hate the way matches smell, so I have a lighter on me basically all the time. Plus, having lighters was a pretty good way to make friends back in undergrad when I gave a fuck about that. 

I flicked on the lighter, and the mer chirped, curiously. 

Has it never seen fire before?

Why would it, it lives in the ocean. Don’t be a dumbshit, Bahram.

“Fire,” I said, and held it out a little for a closer look. “Fire.” I tilted it and lit the candle, and the mer leaned forward, rapt, as the wick sparked up to flame and I blew the smaller flame on the lighter out. 

“FFfffff,” The mer said, barely audible. It clicked and held out its hand, and I wasn’t fast enough.

“No, wait stop-”

The mer’s fingertips touched the flame and it let out a deafening loud cry of pain and jerked its hand back down into the water, whimpering at the new kind of hurt, looking at me like it was MY fault, and maybe it was. Eyebrows furrowed, little crease in its forehead, big sad eyes. 

The big sad eyes are wrecking me.

“Well, don’t touch fire and you won’t burn,” I said, shaking my head. “No touch fire. Fire bad. Fire burn.”

He held out his hand to show me. “Ffff-rrrrr.” It was a plaintive little breath of air, not quite a real sound. 

The ends of two fingers were a little dark, that’s all. I could explain that by saying he’d hurt himself in the tank, maybe. I shook my head and pointed at the water, and it put its hand back in there, huffing a little breath of relief, I think. The water probably helped with the sting. 

“Right. Fire bad. No fire.”

“Ffff-rrr... buh-ddd.” 

“Right. Fire bad.” I stood up and walked over behind him, and he tried to turn and watch me but I shook my head and pointed back at the candle and he sort of huffed again and looked away. I felt him tense when my fingers touched the back of his head, but he sat still.

Probably because if he struggles when she goes to take the muzzle off or gets her fingers near his mouth, Dr. L has this electricity stick thing… 

I’m not supposed to mention that in the transcripts.

I’m not supposed to mention how he screams, and he doesn’t sound like a whale or an otter, then. He doesn’t sound like an animal.

He sounds like a child.

He IS a child

He’s just

I’m a fucking

No. I need to focus. This is stuff I can’t tell Dr. L, I need to write it down here where it’s safe.

The muzzle is easy to get off, you just need to be looking right at it, and I unbuckled and pulled it free, feeling a little resistance from how well it stuck to his face. Without it on, there are deep red lines along his cheeks and jaw, not open or bleeding, just irritated. 

He didn't grab at me, or bite. Just watched me with his big eyes as I laid it down on my desk. For a second we were both just quiet, looking at each other. 

Then he pointed at the candle again. “Ffff-sssshh.”

“No,” I said. “Candle. Fire.”

The mer’s eyebrows furrowed and he shook his head, echoing what I did earlier. His hair slapped around. His teeth look like shark’s teeth up close, only there’s a lot less of them. “Nnnn-nnnuh,” He tried, shaking his head again.” Nnn-uh. Ffff-sssshhh.” Then he pointed at his mouth, opening wide, showing me the tongue behind his teeth. “Fffff-sssshhh. Ffff-ssshhh.”

I laughed, covering my mouth - he seems to be scared when we show too much teeth, probably in the ocean it’s a threat and they don’t smile like we do. Which, why would they? 

But, see, I realized that he wasn’t pointing at the candle at all, but at the fish painted on it. Then he moved to look at the bucket of fish he gets as a reward for obedience, and pointed at that, then looked back at me to see if I was paying attention.

Of course I was. I was barely fucking breathing. This is signs of abstract thought process, recognizing that the image of a thing isn’t the thing itself. That he can point at it to represent what he wants. “You want fish? Is that it? You’re hungry? Want to eat some fish?”

The mer blinked and made a sound like a chirp, clapped his hands together. “Rrrrr. Fff-sssshhh.” He pointed at his mouth again. “Ffff-ssshhh. Buh-rrrrmm. Ffffsshh.”

“What did you say?” I whispered. My heart went cold. I can’t describe it any other way.

“Buh-rrrrmmmm. Ffff-sssshh, Buh-rrrmm.”

The bloody thing knows my fucking name. 

He knows we have names and he knows mine and that means-... that means he has one, doesn’t it? If he has a name, if he has

I’m his fucking nightmare aren’t I 

I’m the worst fucking thing that could happen to him, me and Miah and Dr. L and Anders and this is a job but it’s the worst thing that’s happened to him and it’s only

It’s going to get worse for him.

He’s going to die here and he’ll know all our names when he does.

Anyway, so... you know... I brought him a bucket of fish.

What else was I supposed to do? 

He knows my name!

He let me put the muzzle on him again without fighting after he finished, and I got him back in the tank once the water was refreshed, and he’s sleeping off his meal now. I can see him on the feed, curled up inside the cave.

But I’m wide awake, so I thought I’d write this, because…

Because what the hell do I do now?

I can’t tell Miah.

Can I?

 ---

@astrobly @burtlederp @finder-of-rings @slaintetowhump @moose-teeth @misspelledwitch @whumpfigure @whumptywhumpdump @boxboysandotherwhump @whumpywhumper

[cursedcataclysm]

I should be doing my APUSH work right now but if I have to read one more sentence about Columbus I will tear out my own eyeballs so-

Summer Camp AU

feat. Dream Team, BBH, Sleepy Bois, Tommy and Tubbo, Fundy and Eret

DREAM 

One of the boy’s cabins counselors, helps out at the waterfront sometimes

Has this white snapback hat with a black smiley face embroidered on the front, refuses to take it off, somehow never gets dirty

Also this lime green sweatshirt, he wears it around his waist if it gets too hot though

Often paired with George as co-counselors, they’re absolutely chaotic together but surprisingly good at leading the campers, they’ve got the whole play-fighting dynamic going on and nobody is really sure if they’re dating or not, they wear each other’s clothes so often they just share a dresser at this point

Whenever there’s a spider or a bug in the cabin Dream is the designated one to kill it (or take it outside)

Actually really close friends with Techno but they have a whole fake rivalry going on at camp for the ✨ drama  ✨ (not really, they just got in an argument once and it spread across the entire camp, now it’s basically just part of camp lore that they’re ‘enemies’)

They play it up a ton at camp events and team games, but they almost always sneak out to the docks at midnight after and talk for hours

Dream and Sapnap together almost always means trouble

They’ve been friends for as long as anyone can remember

The shenanigans they get up to usually ends with them both on kitchen duty

Loves climbing trees?? Can be found just chilling in trees sometimes

Known for being a really cool camp counselor though, intimidatingly tall and won’t hesitate to step in when breaking up a fight or disagreement, has a way with kids

GEORGE

Also a boy’s counselor

George has these awful white sunglasses he won from an arcade on a staff trip, nobody has ever seen him without them, he wears them on his face when he’s in a bad mood (only Dream can talk to him without being ignored when this happens)

George is known for being a stickler for the rules, but surprisingly he’s often the counselor who starts the annual prank war, he somehow managed to dye Dream’s hair bright green in his sleep once 

A bit awkward with the campers, but he loosens up around Dream and Sapnap

Constantly steals Dream’s green sweatshirt

Makes Dream and Sapnap friendship bracelets once, is a flustered mess when he gives the bracelets to them, muttering excuses about them looking terrible because he’s colorblind, Dream and Sapnap wear them on their wrists at all times (even though the colors clash just a little bit) 

SAPNAP

Also a boy’s counselor, hosts the game nights in the main lodge every week

Has a white bandana tied around his forehead, Dream yanks it down over his eyes sometimes and they end up chasing each other around the camp for hours (and then they end up on kitchen duty, obviously)

KING of the ropes course

Spends most of his time there, actually

Ends up in the infirmary more times than he probably should after trying to do obstacles blindfolded or without a harness

Can and will carry a grudge for months on end

References a meme or vine every other sentence

Unironically wears crocs

Starts water balloon fights with Dream every opportunity he gets

Yells ‘parkour’ every time he does something cool on the ropes course, even if it’s not actually parkour

Loves giving out hugs, very physically affectionate, will sling his arm around your shoulders or punch you gently on the arm

Wrestles with Dream

Which leads to kitchen duty

BBH

In charge of sports/archery/rifle range

One of the nicest counselors, always chides the other staff (and campers, sometimes,) for cursing, helps out in the infirmary whenever he can

Campers trust him with their secrets, he knows a little bit about almost everyone but he’d never let any of it slip, he’s well aware of how important it is to the campers to have someone they can absolutely trust

Helps sort out disagreements between campers, he’s probably the best one with kids

Scarily good with a gun, holds most of the top camp records

Constantly reminding people to wear sunscreen, carries around three different types in his bag

Also a bunch of individually wrapped muffins, he gives them to campers if they want a snack

Definitely the worst at telling ghost stories

Has a lot of survival skills, will teach campers how to tie ten different types of knots in his free time

Only one who consistently wears his staff t-shirt

WILBUR

Everyone’s favorite counselor, at least according to him

Often paired with Techno

Grey beanie for the aesthetic, but also because his hair is absolutely a mess and if he shoves a hat on it it immediately looks better

Carries his guitar with him most of the time

Went through the ropes course one time with his guitar on him because of a dare

Really good at telling scary stories, but usually plays campfire songs on his guitar instead (sometimes with a kazoo if he’s in the right mood)

Absolutely torches his marshmallows and insists it’s the only right way to eat them, once ate a flaming marshmallow whole (for fun, apparently)

Coffee addict

Pretty much spends the entirety of breakfast at the coffee table

When Wilbur was a CIT he gets this black bandana from Philza, he never wears it but keeps it tied around his bed frame every summer, until one staff campfire when Tommy is a CIT. They’re all sitting around a fire and singing and joking around and Tommy surprises Wilbur when he knows all of the lyrics to one of Wilbur’s songs, and Wilbur impulsively gives Tommy the bandana (Tommy makes a joke about how it’s ‘rather plain, innit?’, Wilbur rolls his eyes and punches him on the arm, they both know how much it means to Tommy though)

Kind of sarcastic, mean in a nice way 

TECHNO

Technically a counselor but nobody knows where he is most of the time

Has pastel pink hair and will 100% help kids dye their hair too, but not before a long lecture about bleach damage and regret

Also a pink face mask (for fashion), only takes it off to eat or swim

The best at making friendship bracelets, it gives him something to do with his hands

Teaches the campers how to make friendship bracelets in the art cabin

Gives his closest friends a pink and black friendship bracelet (it’s not confirmed to be him, they just show up on your bed overnight, but everybody knows it’s Techno)

One legendary summer, Dream and Techno were paired as camp counselors for a cabin, the campers from that year all have matching pink and green bracelets, there’s still whispers about what went down then

A god at toasting his marshmallows to perfection, golden and crispy on all sides with just the right amount of melting

Gets the best care packages from home (so many cookies!!)

TOMMY

CIT with Tubbo

Only his second year at camp, but he hit it off really well with all the other staff and Philza so they offered him a position as CIT

(which he accepted, obviously)

Likes to claim it’s for all the free stuff and staff perks but secretly really wants to learn how to be a good counselor

Curses like a sailor though

BBH has to threaten to take away his access to the staff coffee table to get him to stop cursing as much around the campers

Chaotic gremlin, probably shouldn’t be put in charge of children

He’s actually very responsible when he needs to be though, likes to joke around a lot but looks out for the campers as much as possible

Self-proclaimed king of the gaga pit

Seriously, can hit the ball so hard he’s bruised some people a couple of times

Always covered in scratches and bruises and bandaids

A little too eager to throw a punch

Has a black bandana (from Wilbur) and wears it around his neck at all times, keeps it as clean as possible (even when he’s covered in dirt from various scuffles the bandana somehow stays clean)

Goes absolutely ham on a kazoo during sing alongs

Him and Tubbo sneak out one night and take a paddleboard out to the middle of the lake to look at the stars, the only reason they get caught is because Tommy falls off as they paddle back to shore, Philza yells at them for ten minutes straight but it’s worth it

Basically never wears his staff shirt

TUBBO

Also a CIT

Has been going to the camp for years

Brings his ukulele with him, sometimes he plays with Wilbur at campfires, loves sitting on the dock and playing random little tunes for the campers

Hangs out at the waterfront a lot

Volunteers for kitchen duty, surprisingly

He actually really likes cooking and hanging out with Fundy, whenever he and Bad are in the kitchen together they make muffins

Makes flower crowns!! Absolutely vibes while sitting in the fields, loves the bees, teaches campers how to weave flowers together

Lets Tommy drag him off into all of his shenanigans

Is definitely the type to laugh off insults

Very, very hard to anger but when he gets mad, he gets mad

He and Tommy have only had one disagreement ever at camp, it started with a screaming match for an hour at the waterfront, they ended up not talking for days. Wilbur’s never seen Tommy that quiet, and Eret watches Tubbo with concern when he just sits on the dock for hours, not moving. One night Tommy shows up at Wilbur’s cabin, covered in scrapes and blood in the pouring rain, he just starts crying and Wilbur carries him to the infirmary before finding Tubbo, the two finally talk for a couple of hours after BBH bandages up Tommy’s wounds, the next day they’re back to talking and laughing and causing chaos together like nothing ever happened

Tubbo still feels guilty about that

Loves hanging out with the campers, everyone is excited for when he’s an actual counselor

Wears his staff shirt most of the time, but it’s under his green flannel so you can’t really tell anyway

PHILZA

Camp director obviously

Basically a tired dad, wears a green and white bucket hat, has a fanny pack and will use it

Curses a lot but hides it from the campers

Constantly reminding everyone to wear their staff shirts even if nobody listens to him

Loves telling the campers embarrassing stories about Wilbur and Techno as often as he can

When giving Tommy a tour of the camp to prepare for being a CIT Tommy somehow manages to climb onto the roof of the dining hall, Philza has to hide his laughter while yelling at him to come down

Tommy just stands and yells “POGCHAMP” as loudly as he can, Wilbur records it on his phone and makes sure to send it to all the staff in the group chat

Refers to Wilbur and Techno as his ‘sons’

And eventually Tommy too

Also references vines and memes

ERET

Waterfront manager/lifeguard

Really chill vibes

Also makes pride friendship bracelets for the campers!! It’s kind of a tradition, if you come out to him you get a bracelet

You also can get a bracelet if you ask for one

Has a whistle, loves to sneak up on the other counselors and blow it as loud as he can

Brings a lawn flamingo to camp every year and stakes it outside of his cabin

Really close with Tubbo

Helps Bad in the infirmary sometimes

Also hangs out with Sapnap at the ropes course, loves climbing the rock wall and sitting on the top

One of the best counselors to go to for advice, along with BBH

BUDDY SYSTEM OR ELSE

You better have your buddy when he blows his whistle twice

Tubbo helps him organize the swim tests and give everyone the appropriate tag to hang on the buddy board

FUNDY

Fundy absolutely cannot be trusted as a counselor, so Philza sticks him in the kitchen as head of the kitchen crew

Fundy doesn’t actually mind, he doesn’t have to do much and he gets access to all of the snacks

Extremely chaotic when handing out snacks to the campers- sometimes he throws them, sometimes he just dumps them out into a pile on the ground, sometimes he hands them out individually, there’s no way to predict it

Needs at least 8 hours of sleep or several cups of coffee before he’s ready to interact with campers

Very sarcastic

Plays piano in the main hall sometimes

Bullies Tommy with Wilbur

A picture of him in a fox costume surfaced in the staff group chat and now everybody calls him a ‘furry’ 

He hates it

So much

Capture the flag games that go for days on end, Dream and George captaining a team against Wilbur and Techno, spies and sabotage and elaborate heists, Eret betraying his team during one of the games, water balloon skirmishes, color war but Intense Mode

Prank wars between the counselors and campers

Building epic pillow forts in the cabins and the counselors sneaking in snacks even though there’s not supposed to be food in the cabins

Just, so many possibilities

[bunnyinthestars]

Adrien is definitely gonna take Emilie’s place in a coma (A Theory)

Yeah so I mean the title of this is exactly what I’m pretty sure is gonna happen. This is because there has been a huge load of foreshadowing and some other subtler reasons I will be going over in this post. Of course, there’s always a chance it won’t happen, but if it didn’t I think I’d be pretty surprised considering just the amount of evidence thats going into this.

(Also sorry ahead of time for the structure of this, I tried to structure this based on my specific reasons for this theory but I kind of went off on tangents in some places and in others I use ideas that I assume come with the theory and don’t necessarily fit into any specific reason (like Emilie coming back to life and what would happen there, why Adrien and not Nathalie, and loosely how theyd get Adrien out of the coma), although I mosty stick to the structure I still want to add this disclaimer just so you’re aware that I wrote this in one go at midnight (also wait right now its 12:10am it is now ten minutes into my birthday??? ok ignoring that))

I dont know man. Just consider what I have to say. Or dont. I will be listing my reasons starting now.

1. Imagery of Adrien being in comatose state/ in a coffin-like thing.

This is surprisingly common??? Off the top of my head I can think of Style Queen and Riposte (I believe) which involve this. In Style Queen, Audrey in the form of her akumatized self had essentially kidnapped Adrien and put him in this gold/glass coffin thing that disintegrated the longer it remained untouched. The other one is Riposte, where Ladybug hides Adrien in that big sarcophogus in the Louvre (he didn’t stay in it but still the imagery is there.)

I also just remembered in Chameleon when Lila took Adrien’s form he was asleep/in a comatose state in that locker and Plagg was like “aw man am I gonna have to kiss him.....” but then Adrien wakes up because Lila stole someone else’s form

EDIT: another instance of Adrien/Chat Noir being shoved into a sarcophagus (besides Riposte) is in Pharaoh in season 1

So yes there is definitely a good number of foreshadowing for this. I might take this further and say if Adrien were to go comatose and be in the coffin Emilie was in then Felix might replace him for some amount of time?? Like impersonate him amd stuff?? Just because there’s lots of stuff in the show with impersonation I feel like it could work aNYWAY BACK TO THE EVIDENCE I KNOW ITS A TANGENT

2. Possible evidence foreshadowing Emilie *inadvertantly* killing (not killing but making comatose you get it) Adrien

This one is not as strong as the first but its worth considering. I was googling the word “mayura” just out of curiosity a while back and basically its a peacock in Hindu stories (like peacocks are a kinda revered animal) and I just initially found a couple websites that said that the mayura has been depicted eating a snake as a symbol of the cycle of time (you dont have to read this part in parenthesis, its just kind of a tangent: the cycle of time as known in Hinduism is another aspect of Hinduism directly referenced in the show: the horse/space miraculous kwami Kaalki’s name is a reference to the prophecied tenth avatar/reincarnation of the god Vishnu, and he is referenced in the Kalachakra tantra which is basically a Hindu book about the cycle of time. Keep in mind I got all this from wikipedia and other internet websites, I do not practice Hinduism and I dont directly know anybody who does, so if any of this is wrong pls lmk because there is surprisingly not a lot of information on the internet about it from what I could tell)

So anyways yes peacock (mayura) eating snake representing the cycle of time. Both Luka and Adrien are represented in the show as the snake, but ultimately I think the snake here represents Adrien just because it makes more sense (Snake Noir, future Alix’s tattoo depicts a snake to be Adrien and is meant to represent Adrinette, Adrien just has some shifty stuff going on with the snake in general etc) and thus, if Gabriel manages to actually get the ladybug and black cat miraculouses and make the wish to bring Emilie to life, then this “mayura” analogy (assuming Emilie as the mayura in this scenario) would make sense if her life brought upon Adrien losing his.

The reason I dont think it would refer to Nathalie even though her official name is Mayura is for pretty much two sub-reasons. The first is that I think she is going to die before this wish happens. I know, its a kids show, whatever, but consider it. The Agreste/Graham de Vanily family has a trend of having opposite names [I am so sorry I literally first heard this from a tumblr user but I cannot remember who I just remember they had made a string of theories on why Emilie Agreste will not be who she seems to be so credit to them I did not discover that] for example the name Gabriel means hero/angel, Felix means happy/fortunate, Adrien means dark, etc, and Nathalie Sancoeur means “birthday (of Christ)” and “heartless” respectively. We already know she is not heartless but rather full of heart because she has fallen in love with Gabriel. So then,,,,,,,,,, the opposite of birth is death. She’s already shown to be pretty sick too despite the peacock miraculous having been “fixed” (as of the New York special being the most recent piece of content). I’m sorry guys I do not make the rules

stop why his face look like that though

The second part of why I think this is a little stupid but. The original art released by Jeremy Zag for Mayura does not look like Nathalie. Plus this art was only released under the name of “the Peacock” (originally Le Paon in French) so it might not actually be the Mayura we know as of now. Now, theoretically, it could be that they had made this art before they knew they wanted Nathalie to be Mayura or just as art depicting what Emilie would have been like as the peacock miraculous holder, and it could literally just be Nathalie. When you compare the images, though, the original Mayura art looks far more like Emilie and a lot less like Nathalie. Yes I am aware this is stupid just know this is only a minor point

I dont know man those faces do not look the same to me and the original Mayura definitely had Emilie’s eye shape and face shape in mind. They might’ve changed it after making the concept art but my point still stands

Ok next reasoning

Again not a very strong point but sometimes dialogue just implies things in Miraculous and I can think of a very specific quote that would fit this happening, and there are probably more that I just dont know to look for since I dont have this whole show memorized

So the quote is from Startrain after Gabriel loses control of the akuma then learns about the Startrain having been akumatized with Adrien on board, and he says “hoping that my enemies will save my son..... how ironic.” When I first heard this quote I really, really felt like it was foreshadowing something just based on his tone and the way this new idea was being introduced of him having to be on the same side as Ladynug and Chat Noir for once, even if it was just temporary. This quote absolutely is indicative to me of a future event in which he’ll have to work with his “enemies” to save his son. A situation in which Adrien is in comatose would perfectly align with this. At least for how I would predict the show would make it, Gabriel would have to turn away from Emilie (who represents the past for him, and this action would therefore represent moving on) and join forces with Ladybug/Marinette, his “enemy”, to save Adrien.

Onto the last reason!

Emilie is probably definitely coming back. Which means someone’s going into a coma in her place.

I mean come on it would be so anticlimactic if they just caught Gabe before he fulfilled his wish. Plus with the way they are outlining Emilie to be this perfect golden being is definitely because its going to far contrast with how she will actually turn out. This doesnt really support the Adrien thing in particular but honestly it would also be anticlimactic of the coma was for anyone else. If it was Nathalie, then yeah itd suck for Adrien I guess but like???? Doesn’t really connect the plots as much. Whereas if its Adrien, that brings Marinette into it, that gives her a powerful as heck conflict. Im guessing they would also somehow resolve his coma with “the power of love” mentioned in the theme song, just because of the foreshadowing with like waking someone up with a true love’s kiss (think Plagg in Chameleon, I guess the rose in Style Queen, maybe Alya’s story to Manom in Stormy Weather if we’re strecthing it....)

TL;DR: Adrien is probably gonna go comatose (like Emilie did) at some point because its been pretty foreshadowed (think Style Queen, Riposte, and even Chameleon), because of the legend surrounding the Hindu “mayura” peacock eating a snake representing time (wow that was not a sentence ok then), because Gabriel has previously foreshadowed having to work with his enemies to save his son, and also just because it would be super awesome and allow each character involved to have a pretty fulfilling conflict and arc.

(all images from the miraculous ladybug wiki excluding the piece of art depicting the mayura which is from murugan.org)

I hope however took the time to read this post enjoyed this theory, sometimes I have really random yet detailed theories regarding this show and I wanted to share this one because if I’m right then this will be proof I had predicted it, also you guys could possibly elaborate on it. I’m all for friendly discussions folks fr

If this doesn’t end up happening the theory is still awesome and they should have done it, and if it does my ego will probably expand and hopefully they will make it as awesome as it seems like it would be. Sorry if the structure of this post is not great, but thank you for reading. I appreciate you, have a wonderful week :)

[hansolmates]

jjk; angel’s trumpet [03]

summary; one second, your life is flashing before your eyes and the next, you’re transported into a world exactly like your own. but the jungkook you meet in this world isn’t a renowned singer or your former almost-lover, in fact he has no clue who you are and why you know him so well. as you work to find your way home lost and confused, you conclude that you’re either dead or in the middle of the most wicked drug trip of your life. pairing; idol!jk x reader (f), alternatively film producer!jk x reader genre/warnings; fluff, angst, supernatural, idol!au, non-idol!au, alternate universes, themes of fate, language, alcohol consumption, mentions of smut in future chapters w.c; 5k a/n; we’re finally getting into some traction with the main plot! who are we liking more so far, w1!jk or w2!jk?? 

[02] [03] [04]-> masterpost

Instead of going to the doctor, you take a trip to the library. If Namjoon thinks your ideas are  supernatural, you’re going to find someone who believes in the supernatural. 

He calls you in the morning just to make sure you’re going to his recommended doctor.  You fabricate a lie that the doctor friend he recommended is busy so you’re going to go find another one in the meantime. Just in case Namjoon decides to ask said doctor about your current mental and physical state, you want to make sure you cover your tracks. As much as you want to give it another go and help Namjoon understand your precarious situation, you weren’t up for another possibility of rejection. 

You wanted to avoid Namjoon’s rejection so much that you’d rather turn to unconventional alternatives to finding your answer. 

Unfortunately, Tony Stark and Steven Strange do not exist in this universe, and therefore you need to turn to more practical measures. 

Seoul University has a zillion libraries, and you decide to go to the general library in the hopes you’ll find something in the subject of world-hopping. Unfortunately you haven’t been in a huge library since you were a senior in college, and the smell of paper, sad students and ink all but overwhelms you. 

You’re about to start wandering when a young voice snatches your attention. “Miss,” you feel a tug at your belt loop, and you notice a little boy looking up at you with a pout. “I lost my way after using the bathroom and I can’t find the daycare.”

A little part of you wonders who on earth could’ve let a boy no older than five out of their sights, especially in such a spacious building. Alas, you smile and offer him your hand, suggesting that the two of you look for a map. 

“Well it’s a good thing we found each other!” you say brightly, encouraging the kid to follow you to the kiosk, “I was just about to look for a map because I’m a little lost too, we can read it together.” 

The boy tells you his name is Bogum, and you respond with yours and explain that it’s okay to get lost, especially when this library is so big. He listens to you with rapt attention, wide eyes as you spell out the words “daycare” using the little paper map you brought with you from the lobby. 

Bogum and you stop in front of a plain room with a cheap powder blue baby gate, deep in the children’s section of the library. It’s there that you spot five or so children huddled over the flatscreen television, ‘oh’ and ‘ah’-ing over whatever film’s prattling on. You’re not surprised that Frozen 2 remains a sensation in both worlds. 

Bogum opens the door first, and you make eye contact with the only adult in the room. He’s lean and friendly-looking, holding a child in their lap as they sing along to “Into the Unknown”. Your heart is caught in your throat, begging to be released as your eyes widen in surprise. 

“Hobi!” you blurt instinctively, but you immediately clamp your mouth upon realizing. You really need to get used to this, but honestly how can anyone get used to this kind of situation? Hoseok will definitely be the fourth person you’ve alarmed in the past five days. 

Hoseok’s jaw drops slightly, head tilted as the rest of the mini-crew train their eyes on you. You shrink in the presence of children, knowing from experience nothing gets by them. 

“Is that your girlfriend, Hobi-ah?”

“Do you know her, Mr. Hoseok?” 

“She looks scared, what did you do?” 

The affronted man presses his lips in a thin line, “Dunno,” he answers vaguely. He seems unperturbed, hands settling in his traffic cone orange sweatpants. He gestures to the snacks in the middle of the room, releasing the children’s inner fire for food, “but it’s fruit snack time! Go ahead and grab your water from the cubbies, you can eat while you watch.” 

The babies cheer, and you smile fondly as the kids rip open their packets and giggle over Olaf. You wish you could go back to simpler times. 

“So,” Hoseok stands up, and gestures for you to sit at the small kids table in the back, “Do I know you? I don’t know if I know you, but I feel like I know you. Because you know me.” 

Deciding you need to sit down for his bombardment you squeeze your legs into the worn Fisher-Price desk, running your nails over the crayon stains and pencil shavings. “Uh, no?” 

“Did we have a class together? Hook-up? Friend’s hook-up that I tried to coerce into a threesome?” 

“Ohmygod, there are children here!” you hiss, but Hoseok just smiles plainly, offering you a bag of fruit snacks that he snagged before the children emptied his bowl. You accept the gesture, unable to make eye contact. 

Seeing the members out of their clan of seven is still jarring to you. You can’t imagine a world without the seven of them together. Like they always say, Bangtan is fate. 

“I just wanted to return Bogum,” you say, crinkling the foil bag in your grasp, “and I’m actually looking for a professor who has her office hours here. I have uh, questions on my thesis on alternate universes.” 

“Ah, are you referring to Professor Song?” you nod, “she cancelled her office hours for today, if you bothered to email her. And anyways, she doesn’t take kindly to questions on supernatural phenomena. Not since her latest book on paranormal channeling tanked.”

Your face visibly falls, dejected. You probably should’ve tried to schedule an appointment. “O-oh.” 

“But as a non-judgemental soul, I would be happy to assist you on your ‘thesis’.” Hoseok  air-quotes, noting that the kids are only in the very beginning of Frozen 2 and they have a whole hour and a half to their own devices. “And in exchange, I want to know the real reason as to why you’re looking for her, especially because you referred to me so excitedly as Hobi, and not Hoseok,” he crosses his arms, “and only my mother and sister have the right to call me that.” 

You feel like a kid sent to the time-out corner, inevitably forced to fess up. It didn’t work out as well as you hoped with Namjoon, and you feared to be disappointed when Hoseok disagreed with you as well. Of course, you can’t blame them. If Hoseok came up to you and said he came from an alternate universe, you’d run for the hills. 

But Hoseok is sweet and sincere, and he’s definitely not letting you go. In fact, he’s empathetic, already distressed from seeing you sweating and wringing the poor fruit snack packet. 

He drags over a mini chalkboard cart, poised to take notes. “C’mon, I won’t bite.” 

You frown, “Promise you won’t laugh at me until the very end?” 

“Promise.” 

Forty minutes later and in the turning point of Frozen 2, Hoseok has drawn up what looks like a convoluted flowchart detailing every single thing you’ve said up until this point. It reminds you of a child’s drawing, symbolizing all the dead-ends and turns of your life, but you’re sure Hoseok doesn’t want to hear that. 

Within the first ten minutes of your story, Hoseok is shaking his head. “That’s crazy. C’mon, prove it. If we’re really friends in an alternate universe, how much do you know about me?” 

Hoseok's face falls farther and farther into his lap as you respond with a straight face. His birthday, favorite foods, hobbies, music taste, and even feelings towards melodramatic movies are laid out in your words like a personal diary. 

He crosses his arms, narrowing his eyes. “Tell a secret that you know about me.” 

That stumps you. You make a face, stuffing a strawberry gummy in your mouth as you think about any conversation you could’ve possibly had with Hoseok in the past year. There’s a possibility that whatever happened to Hoseok in your world hasn’t happened in this one, but you have to at least try. 

With as much confidence as you can muster you say, “When you were in the 3rd grade, your older sister was playing with sticks in your backyard and accidentally stabbed you.” 

He narrows his carmine eyes, “Where?” 

“Left breast,” you chirp, “under the nipple.” 

Hoseok’s face twists like he’s in the 8th dimension, and he clutches his left breast comically. “You’re either psychic or telling the truth,” he marvels, nearly cracking the bud of chalk in his fingertips. 

You fight the urge to sigh in relief, running a hand through your hair. You can’t believe that actually worked. 

“Okay so obviously because I need to know my alter-self, what’s Jung Hoseok like in World One?” 

“World One?” you snort. 

“Yeah, since it’s your home world. This is World Two, because this is your second reality.” He says as if it’s the most obvious thing, waving his hands in the air. 

“You’re a rapper and incredible dancer in the world’s top boy band.” and Hoseok doesn’t know whether to think you’re an impeccable actor or really telling the truth by the way you smile so tenderly. “And you managed to get your mom the barbeque restaurant she always wanted. Best place for pork belly wraps.”  

And because you know he’s a softie for his mother, you already have a tissue stretched out for him, confirming that you have him convinced. Seeing it all laid out terrifies him, not because he’s scared of someone infiltrating his reality, but because you’re lost. You’re lost and you can’t go home and he can feel like he’s known you all this time. Not because you know every single fact about him under the sun, but something tells him you were meant to find him today. 

“So, you got hit by a truck in World One, and end up in World Two just like that?” you nod again, and Hoseok starts to line up whatever code he’s created on the blackboard. “What were you doing before that?” 

“I went drinking with my friend Sehlyung.” 

“Uh-huh, and before that?” 

“Got into a fight with the guy I love.” 

“Oh, sorry.” 

“Even worse, he ended up being the first person I met once I entered your world.” 

Hoseok blinks, “That’s gotta count for something, right?” 

Your face sours, “Impossible. Jungkook didn’t recognize me either.” 

“Anything else happened that day? Perhaps something to do with the both of you? It can’t just be coincidence,” Hoseok insists, and you almost see the potential theories looming over his head. 

Wishing you bought some aspirin on your way, you pinch your brows together. You’ve recollected that night one too many times that it’s been starting to overwhelm you. You hate thinking back to how harshly Jungkook rejected you. How much his words pierced you clean like you were soft and breakable. The twist in the knife was seeing him again in this world, only for him to reject you again for an entirely different reason. 

“Wait,” you bite your lip, the final memory from your last conversation with Jungkook resurfacing. 

“Maybe in another world, we’d work out. But not this one.”

“He said maybe we’d be together in another world,” you say slowly, the words sinking in your form like a key to a lock. 

Hoseok snaps his fingers, a huge white grin beaming on his face. “Shit, this is straight out of the Twilight Zone or something. Cool!” 

It’s then that the credits roll for Frozen 2, and the children are pouncing on him like leeches to a sweet treat. They laugh and beg for his attention, teasing him because he said the s-word. 

“I’m sure this Jungkook kid has something to do with why you’re here—ow, Haneul! My hair is precious!” Hoseok is busy fending off kids and trying to continue your conversation. He gets up from the tiny chair to prevent them from reaching, and you follow suit. “In the meantime,” he reaches for your phone, typing something, “here’s some books Professor Song recommended to me when I was fascinated in alternate universes. Maybe they’ll help, I don’t know. But good luck, update me when you get a chance! I work here most days.” 

“Thanks Hoseok,” and before you can second guess yourself, you find space between the children to wrap your arms around him. Thankfully, he doesn’t push you away, and hugs you back just as tightly. You can’t help it, and bury your face into his shoulder, trying to conceal your sobs. He even smells like World One Hoseok. You miss them. 

The rest of your afternoon is spent in the library, searching for book after book regarding the supernatural and other phenomena. A little part of you hoped Hoseok would join you in your navigation, but he had a job and you had yours. He already offered you an ear and much, much more. 

You feel a little stir-crazy, despite the fact that these books could contain important information, only Jungkook’s words seem to register in your brain. 

“Maybe in another world, we’d work out. But not this one.”

You groan, stretching out your back so you could reach the final book out of Hoseok’s recommendations. You blush when your joints complain about your lack of exercise and sudden exertion of physical activity. This last one just so happens to be on the highest possible shelf. There’s really no need to have more than five books on supernatural phenomena, but you’re already here and it’s vermillion red cover is taunting you like a bull to its matador. 

Fuck it. Making sure no librarians are watching, you hop on the first shelf, heels dangling in the air. You could climb trees like it was nothing when you’re a child, but ten years later you can feel all the joints in your body protest at the sudden bout of athleticism. 

Alas, even with the added height you can barely reach the top, fingers brushing over the hardcover. You’re starting to sweat with nerves, thankful for the whirring of the icy air conditioner. With a sigh you attempt to climb on the next highest shelf, until the familiar smell of detergent and florals invades your personal space. Even his scent is the same. 

“Y’know, there’s a help desk for a reason.” 

Your shoulders slump as Jungkook wordlessly instructs you to get down from the shelf. You feel the warmth of his palm shadow your back, not touching you but prepared to in the event you slip and fall. With a cross of your arms, you hug your books to your chest, refusing to make eye contact as he retrieves the book for you. Call it being petty, or overly defensive because of past events, but you’re not ready to talk to Jungkook right now. 

Conversely, Jungkook is piqued. He’s lived here for the past six years and it’s the first time he’s seen you in this library. Twice in the span of two weeks is definitely something worth noting, especially when his new co-worker just so happens to be friends with you. 

In fact he’s excited, curious. He just entered the library, dropping off some proofs for his graduate school’s office when he spotted you in the corner of one of the shelves, determined. Something warm and light brings a smile to his face when he sees how endearing you look trying to get that too-high book. Despite the fact that he’s still on the fence about your sanity, he wants to make sure you don’t almost-die a second time from head injury. 

“Here ya go,” He easily grabs the book and Jungkook is prepared to plop the book in your pile, but you’re hugging the others so tightly that he has to wedge it between two other ones. 

You press your lips together as Jungkook goes into your personal space, miffed that you’re being a little defensive. After all, you’re embarrassed from the last time you saw him and you’re heart is beating wildly, confused over the man in front of you. It takes a wiggle before you concede, letting him tuck the red novel between two other larger books. 

“Thanks,” you mumble, nodding at him once before swiftly turning the corner, skirt swishing. 

The smile on his face is wiped clean when you don’t even bother to spare him a little eye contact. 

“Hey, wait up!” he exclaims, and he’s immediately shh’ed by at least five students and an angry librarian. He deflates, giving sheepish bows as he walk-runs after you. 

He feels like the tables have turned, now he’s the one chasing after you. Should he apologize for leaving you on the sidewalk two weeks ago? Should he offer to hold your books, or drive you home? Maybe not drive you home, because he brought his bike today and he fears that you may be traumatized by the fact that you almost ate pavement under his wheels. If he has to ease into it, maybe he could offer his phone number up as compensation for accidentally almost-killing you? Suggest that his number is for you to contact him as an IOU. Smooth. 

You look over your shoulder briefly, suppressing a groan as Jungkook makes it painfully obvious that this is not the end of your interaction. He’s boring into you, looking past you and his eyes are dark with information. As much as you want to know what’s going on in his mind, seeing Hoseok and Jungkook within the same hour is wholly overwhelming, especially when you just laid your whole life story out to Hoseok in a daycare. 

He’s now staring holes in your back as you hand over your books and work identification to the unsuspecting librarian, who chalks up your awkwardness between two friends toeing around a relationship. To the unsuspecting eye, it’s not out of the ordinary. You can’t just tell Jungkook to “kindly fuck off because I’m still processing your existence” because he’s really done nothing wrong. Inevitable, you let him heat your skin with his imploring eyes until he starts to squirm like a garden snake. He’s waiting for you, silently begging you to turn your head and acknowledge how hard his brain is working right now. This boy is always after attention. 

Finally, you spare him. “Yes?” you say softly, keeping your focus on the bookkeeper checking you out as Jungkook hovers over your form. 

“Uh,” he scratches his head, searching for words, “are you hurt? Y’know, from the other day?” 

“Judging from the way I was prepared to climb the shelves, no,” you stuff the books in your tote bag, “are you hurt?” 

“Uh, no.” 

“Okay. That’s good.” You brush past him, making it a blatant point to stride out the first door you see. 

Even with all the telltale signs, Jungkook continues to feel something. An urge, a bell, something. He doesn’t know what, but he’s compelled to follow you. For a small thing you sure know how to walk, and he has to pump his legs a little to catch up with your speedy form. 

He follows you to the middle of the campus courtyard, where students are lounging about and studying or playing football. It’s already starting to turn dark, and the orange sky sits impatiently on your bodies as you try to walk as fast as possible to your apartment. 

“Hey—hey, c’mon!” his long legs manage to get close enough to you, but he has to halt as soon as you stop, whipping around to glare at him. 

Jungkook stumbles as you’re centimeters away from him, visibly annoyed. You’re super close, impossibly close to him. He holds his breath, fearing he’d fan your face and you wouldn’t appreciate his chicken-salad breath. He doesn’t understand why you’re upset, but he wants to jab a thumb between your brows and even out the adorable expression that pinches your visage. 

“What, do you need something from a stranger?” you bite icily, and he doesn’t understand the pang in his chest when you refer to each other as strangers. It’s true, you are, but you don’t have to be so harsh about it. 

“I, I just want to know why you knew my name,” he replies weakly, hands going up as if he committed a crime. “Back then, I’ve been confused ever since,” it’s wholly innocent, and genuine, “I just wanted to know if you’re okay, I guess?” 

It’s then you soften, melting like the yolk in the sky. The strap of your bag digs in your palm, the leather probably indenting your skin. 

“I got really drunk last night,” you concede, and at the very least it’s the truth, “probably woke up drunk too. I stumbled outside and when I saw you, and mistook you for another Jungkook I know.” 

You’re pulling this excuse out of your ass, and you hope that someone watching you from above (or below) will give you a reprieve on this one. He seems to believe this notion, probably used to one too many drunk girls fawning over him half-sane. 

“Another Jungkook?” he balks, mouth parting like a baby kitten, “a Jungkook with the same name and face?” 

“Uh kinda, like Mario and Wario?” you say, and you know Jungkook will get the reference if he remains a video game lover, “what’s that called, doppelgangers?” 

“I’m partial to Luigi and Waluigi, but I get it.” he replies with a small smile, proud to have gotten you to open up, even a little. “That’s cool. I’m sorry for freaking out back there.” 

“Understandable,” you look at the grass crunching at your feet. You definitely understood, but it still hurt recollecting the way he pushed you off of him like a bug. “I��m sorry for mistaking you, I just kinda stumbled out of an apartment and got walking, I thought I was in a dream or something.” 

“So uh, where’s this other Jungkook?” and it’s an innocent enough question, and he’s almost boyish about it, rocking back and forth with his hands in his jeans. “I’ve always wanted to meet my own twin, I just didn’t expect them living in Korea and having the same name. That’s like a two for one deal!” 

You wince, avoiding the way Jungkook tries to bend down to match your eyes. “He’s uh, not around anymore. Completely gone,” you mutter. 

Completely gone? Did that mean the person you were worrying about on the streets, the person who you worried over so thoughtfully in place of Jungkook, is dead? 

Jungkook puffs out a breath of air, running a hand through his hair. Boy, does he feel like a piece of shit for bringing up tough memories. “I’m so sorry,” he gushes, voice cracking as he tries to get you to lift your head, “I was just being nosy, alright? The fact that you knew my name freaked me out and I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And when I saw you in the library I pounced but I realize that this is such a huge mistake and—”

“Jungkook,” you hold up a hand, a twinge of a smile barely grazing your lips, “I already told you, it’s understandable you would’ve been freaked out. Don’t blame yourself,” you size him up a little, looking up and down and he automatically straightens his back. He feels his ears heat beneath his hair, “but you look like the type of guy to be too hard on himself.”

He laughs, nodding profusely, “So I’ve been told.” Feeling lighter at the assurance of your feelings, he sticks out his hand, “then can we call a truce?” 

It’s then you see it. 

“Tiger lilies,” you marvel, hands reaching out instinctively to touch the tattoo adorning his arm. It’s the same design, same position, the dark ink vibrant as ever. 

“It’s my birth flower,” he puffs out his chest a bit, feeling elated that someone appreciates the fine art he spent weeks drafting. Tattoos aren’t particularly popular in this area, so he can’t help but feel a little cheeky that someone’s attracted to them. He watches the way your eyes sparkle over the black ink, the most positive emotion he’s gotten out of you since meeting. “Tiger lilies, they mean—”

“Please love me,” you finish, letting go of his arms so it drops to his side. You finally look up at him, and your eyes prick. 

He looks so much like him, it hurts. Seeing Hoseok and Namjoon also pained you considerably, but nothing compared to how much it ached to have Jungkook around, vying for your attention. How well you knew his body, and how much you wish you could hug him. Today he’s even dressed a little similarly to how you’re used to, soft and comfortable in black sweats and a Carhartt hoodie. But this Jungkook isn’t scarred by the industry, and it fills the curiosity that plagued you for days on end. Your Jungkook is always vibrant, but the one in front of you is radiant. He’s young, eager, and ready to take on the world. 

Jungkook grins, impressed by your knowledge. He wonders about your birth flower, and whether you have it tattooed somewhere on your body. “Is that your birth flower too?” he asks, debating on whether or not it’s too late to ask you out for coffee because evening is approaching. Maybe dinner was more appropriate? But it would be like a date? Maybe pizza or McDonalds to keep it casual? 

You see the gears turning in his head, and you feel like you’ve wasted too much time thinking. “Ah, no,” you flounder, rapidly shaking your head, “just some random information I’ve picked up.” 

“Are you into flower meanings?” he tilts his head. 

“Not particularly,” you say ominously, and you try not to ache when he seems disheartened at your lack of elaboration, “but I will be. I’ll see you around, Jungkook.” 

You can tell he has more to say, especially because Jungkook is one to finish what he starts. But you can’t give him that satisfaction now, not when you’re onto something. You spare him a wave over your shoulder, not wanting to see the disappointment in his face when you leave him in the dust for a second time. 

And with that unpromised promise, you go back into the direction of your apartment. You have some extensive research to do tonight. 

•━━━━━━»•»💮💮💮«•«━━•••

W1.

Jungkook wakes up to the sun, and he bolts up in his bed. 

“Hey!” he yells to no one in particular, knowing his voice is loud enough to echo throughout the dorm. “Why did no one call me? We had practice!” 

Instead of passing out in the studio he’s wrapped up in his sheets, bundled comfortably as if he’s been in bed for hours. He’s almost disoriented, looking around the room and waiting for someone to barge in and tell him to hurry up and get somewhere. 

After working on his music, the seven of them were supposed to meet up. The plan was to take a nap from ten to eleven, and be at the studio to go over some modifications to a new setlist. However, those plans evidently did not go through, because he had a full night’s sleep for the first time in weeks and that only happens if there’s a schedule cancellation or vacation. 

He feels particularly antsy because he couldn’t work on anything last night. His mind was like tunnel vision, completely filled by visions of you and last night’s fight. It’s frustrating, especially when there’s so much he’s behind on already. 

But today’s a new day. He takes his time in his room, popping out all his joints and doing leg and arm stretches on his mattress. For once, no one’s ushering him away to do the nth task. He mindlessly scrolls his phone, taking note of the insistence for him to return to social media but pins it away for yet another promise of next time. 

Mindlessly clicking his phone button on and off, his wallpaper shows a picture of your back facing the sunset. An old, innocent picture that could be mistaken for a random shot Jungkook stole on an empty night in Dongdaemun. With a sigh he throws his phone somewhere between the sheets, rubbing his eyes. There’s nothing he can do now but move forward, and he takes that in stride. 

But when he walks out of his room, the air feels terse. It’s strange, as if he could cut through the tension in the room with a butterknife. 

He looks on in confusion to see all the other members settled in the living room, hovered over their phones. They’re all still in their clothes from last night as well, grave expressions on their faces. 

Someone’s choked sobs are echoing from a corner of the room, and Jungkook is worried when he sees Taehyung sobbing in Hoseok’s arms. 

“What happened?” he asks, brows knitting together as he walks over to Namjoon, looking over his phone. 

Namjoon immediately presses his phone to his chest, concealing whatever is on the screen. Jungkook’s heart pangs at his block, because Namjoon isn’t one to hide things.  He’s feeling cut out of a secret so deep that it must be either a secret, or something he shouldn’t see. “It’s,” he takes a deep breath, and Jungkook feels it. He feels that whatever Namjoon has to say is going to be hard. 

Seokjin speaks up for the leader, bright eyes that always spark like fireworks now dim. “We got a call from Sehlyung early this morning. Before it got light out she—she was frantic. She said Camille wasn’t answering her calls after they went drinking.” 

No. No. 

“Then BigHit got a call from the hospital. They said a truck hit the curb, knocking her clean,” it doesn’t even sound like Seokjin’s speaking, just the shell of him, regurgitating information. “She’s alive, but it’s critical, no one’s allowed to see her until she’s stable. We don’t know when,” Seokjin bites his lip, choosing his words carefully, “or if, she’ll wake up.” 

Jungkook doesn’t even register that he’s crying until Seokjin pulls him into his arms. 

[jungcity]

𝟓𝟎𝟓.

GENRE: crime, romance, slice of life

PAIRINGS: bandit!hendery, sacristan!female reader

WORD COUNT: 27,632

SONG PROMPTS: Godless - BANKS, 505 - Arctic Monkeys, Some Unholy War - Amy Winehouse, Robbers - The 1975 | [full playlist here.]

WARNINGS: Please observe proper discretion for this story deals with themes of adultery, orphanhood, child abuse, child neglect, deaths, violence, manipulation and suggestive stuff.

NOTE: This is a part of the crime!au collaboration held by @neovisioned. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Please be aware that this story would have references that revolves around Catholicism. I am by no means wish to be exclusive to those who has the same religion as I. Upon pondering the plot of this story, religion would be a mandatory part, hence I chose mine since it is what I know best.

TAGLIST: @legendnct @cloudysuh @eyypeach @mjlkau @cherub-vivi

i. I believe in God, the Father Almighty, creator of heaven and earth…

Trails of white smoke circled the candle as you snuffed out the fire from the matchsticks. The heavy rain raged on, with the branches slapping the gothic windows of Father Ben’s chamber. The priest sat on a rocking chair near the aperture, watching the thunder and lightning as they continue to battle for dominion over the heavens.

“Father,” you called out softly. He hummed but did not turn to face you. Over the months that you have worked and helped Father Ben tend to the church, you noticed how particularly silent he could be whenever the clouds are pouring. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay?” you asked.

For the past few days, Father Ben would tell you about shadows prowling around the church. Two boys, he claims. Sometimes they are three. Bandits, no doubt.

“Be careful on your way home, hija. Bring my umbrella so you won’t get soaked.” And that has been the last words he spoke.

You pressed your lips into a thin line. There would be no point forcing the priest. Perhaps he does not want your mother to worry about you.

You closed the door of the priest’s chamber and made your way down the creaky staircase. The church hadn’t been renovated since the middle of the pandemic that had swept across the whole world. This structure hadn’t tasted new paints and new rivets yet for ten years.

Father Ben resides where the choral sings everyday. Since Father lost all his relatives to the pandemic, he made it built for him. Perhaps that was the reason why he was too quiet. You haven’t lost anyone to it, but you knew a lot of people who died because of it and have friends who had lost their fathers and mothers, even siblings, to it.

You fastened the latch of every door inside the church before you walked towards the main door. Laying the lamp on the floor, you unlatched the wooden door. The blustery and frigid wind flows through the opening, misting your feet and right arm as you leaned to grab the lamp and struggle to open the umbrella.

By good fortune, the rain softened as you departed the church. Bougainvilleas wrapping the façade of the structure made eerie shadows as the moon casted down its light to it. You made your way to the small village you live in.

“Hail Holy Queen, Mother of mercy…” echoes the praying mothers and daughters in front of their altars.

You cannot not help but be fascinated by the orange lamp lights in their homesteads, as you saw the women of every family kneel and make their prayers. Ever since the end of the pandemic five years ago, your village has been humming novenas every six p.m. or eight p.m. at night. You heard it was the same for the neighboring village, too.

“Hail our life, our sweetness and our hope…” You heard the little voices of innocent children as they tried to copy the words. It made your heart flutter. “To Thee do we cry, poor banished children of Eve. To Thee do we send up our sighs, mourning and weeping in this valley of tears.”

Until you reached your street, prayers echoed. Your house loomed as you turn left. Gathering your skirt, you hopped over a puddle of mud and continued walking.

“Mom, I’m home,” you declared upon stepping your feet inside.

Mom was on her usual place near the fireplace, knitting new pillowcases with the dim light from the fire. She turned her head to see you, then pulls down her reading glasses to examine your slightly soaked skirts.

“I thought you’re sleeping in the church?” she asked as she twiddled the needle with her fingers.

“Father Ben won’t allow me,” you simply answered as you trodded towards the kitchenette.

There was only one light inside the house. It was located between the kitchenette and living room. During the pandemic, all energy had been used to fuel hospitals as well as quarantine facilities for the affected citizens. Energy had been lacking ever since.

You went back to the living room with a plate in hand. Food has been scarce in this part of town. But your mother has a little vegetable farm in the backyard. So it’s vegetable salad every night.

“Tomorrow is the first Sunday of the month,” she began, “Did you prepare anything?”

You munched while watching the needle pierce through the fabric. “Mayor Rosales failed to give us sponsorship. But we have gathered some money from the houses nearby the highway.” Those people who live near the highway were what you could call the richer ones. They have convenience stores lining up, and they pretty much sell anything a villager might need. “Father wants to feed the children this time.”

“Would that be enough? The money?”

“We’ll make do,” you sighed.

Mother hummed. “Bring the vegetables tomorrow, then. I’ve harvested enough for ingredients.”

You smiled. “Thank you, Mother.”

ii. And in Jesus Christ, His only Son, our Lord…

He came into your life like a fog in the dawn; mysterious, hazy, and cold. The boy with the secret of the universe in his eyes, and danger playing along his boyish smile rang your door in the year 2040. When hope has only started to rebuild itself after the terrors of a sickness nobody had been able to see.

Easy smile, childlike laughters and soft hair— that has been him.

Your first encounter had been outside the church. Where he leaned in a big motorcycle while puffing smokes from his cigarette.

“Kids, please line up according to your height,” you told the children softly. Big innocent eyes stared back at you with excitement.

When suddenly, Lucy, the other sacristan, gestured to you to come over the front line where the food is located. “No pushing,” you warned the kids before leaving them with Rei, another sacristan.

“What is it?” you asked.

Lucy motioned her puckered lips towards the exit. “Could you tell him to smoke somewhere else?”

You followed her gesture. And your gaze landed straight to him as he blew out smoke from his lips. He playfully inhales from the cigarette bud and puffed it carelessly in the air. He was looking straight at the spot where you were currently glued at. Both of you held each other’s eyes, and you felt lost in those mysterious orbs for a good second until Lucy cleared her throat to gather your attention.

Spontaneously, your brows immediately shot up in vexation. It was forbidden to smoke inside and around the church’s vicinity. You gathered your skirts and sauntered up to him. As you near closer to him, you have caught a sight of a black patch plastered on the side of his neck.

The boy cocked a brow as he saw you nearing. You ignored his reaction and cleared your throat. But your breath seemed to be sweeped out of your lungs yet again when you realized that the black patch was a tattoo. It reads the word pervivo. “Mister, it is not allowed to smoke around the church. Could you please take that somewhere else?”

Instead of tossing his cigarette, he took a long sip from the bud and blew the smoke to your face. Shocked and absolutely disgusted, you fanned away the smoke frantically while coughing out the chemical that has succeeded to reach your nostrils and throat.

“What the—”

“Fuck?” he finished. The smoke slowly dissipates, revealing his dead set of eyes staring at you. He, then, threw the bud to the ground before crushing the ashes with the tip of his boot. “Can’t really cuss in here, can you?”

Such audacity! Your nose flared while trying to collect the little patience left in your system. Boys like him never failed to irate you.

Smoothing out your skirt, you straightened your spine with as much dignity as you can muster. “Blowing smoke—”

For the second time, the boy interrupted you by waving his hand high up in the air. “Father!” he shouted. The boy jogged the distance towards the line of children in front of the church to clap Father Ben’s back. Frozen on your feet, you stared at him in horror.

“Do you know him, Father?” you motioned your head to the boy who was casually smiling from ear to ear beside the priest. As if he didn’t deadpan at you earlier.

Father Ben stretched his lips into what you could call a small smile. “Hendery’s from the city. He’s to be our new sacristan.”

There was literal ringing in your ears by what you have heard. Hendery? A new sacristan? “Wait…” You let out an incredulous noise. “What?”

“I’m Hendery Wong. I came here to be the new sacristan.” The boy stretched out his hand to you. You look at it with reluctance evidently etched through your face.

“I don’t understand,” you managed to say while shaking Hendery’s hand. He has been surprisingly calloused, juxtaposing his soft and pretty face.

“I know you will soon, hija,” Father Ben said, “And I trust you to help Hendery adjust to the work here. Can you do that?”

Hendery’s smile never left his face. It was as if he was relishing to the predicament that you were in instead of being friendly. However, you couldn’t really turn down Father Ben. And it was not right to jump on your prejudices. Cigarettes and tattoos doesn’t mirror someone else’s personality. Hendery deserved the benefit of the doubt.

So you sighed. “I can, Father. Rest assured that I’ll show Hendery around.”

Father Ben tapped your shoulder lightly before joining Lucy to prepare the food for the children, leaving you with the new boy.

“So,” he began, garnering your attention. When you turn to look at him, Hendery’s demeanor has already changed. Or perhaps it was only your judgment getting the best of you. But there was a spark of something dangerous in the way that he looked at you. As if his eyes were the tip of the cigarette he inhaled mere minutes ago. Flickering— with a promise of charring if you ever come close. “Shall we begin?”

For what seemed like the hundredth time that day, you sighed deeply. “Could you wash and sanitize first? You know, you actually held a cigarette and we don’t wanna contaminate the food, right?”

His smile grew wider, erasing the enigma he exuded seconds ago. “Do you have a mask? You know, I’ve sipped a cigarette and we don’t want my spit to fly towards the food, right?”

You looked at him sharply. “Yes, we do have a mask. It’s become pretty mandatory since twenty years ago.”

Hendery stretcheso out his hand to let you walk first. From the long table on which the food has been placed, you grabbed a surgical mask to give to Hendery. When you turned to face him, he held up his hands suddenly.

“I haven’t yet washed my hands. I’ll appreciate it if you’ll put those here,” he said  while pointing at his ear.

He really was something. And you have found it oddly… endearing. You haven’t known ice and fire could co-exist in a single person. Until you have met him. You gulped— and you have no idea why— as you draped the strings of the mask around his ears. His mouth and nose disappeared, but that failed to decrease his beauty.

What is happening to you? In your whole existence, you have met boys with stars in their eyes but this has been your first time to see the whole universe in someone else’s irises.

You shook your head as Hendery departed in front of you to wash his hands.

Pretty boys are only boys until you try to make a verselet out of them. That was the line you have never wanted to cross.

Hendery would only be a word. Not poetry. Or would he?

iii. He was conceived by the power of the Holy Spirit, and born of the Virgin Mary…

When you were amongst the poor during the pandemic, your survival rate would be extremely challenged. Luckily for you, your father had run a small business that successfully provided for your family during those trying times.

Five years ago, the world made its reset when it came to economy and livelihood. Almost all businesses shut down. The luxuries and opulence of the year 2020 had been vanquished completely.

Billionaires finally witnessed that they weren’t the gods they once thought they were as the claws of the sickness reached their thrones and destroyed their castles.

Regardless of the Internet’s power, trade fell. With it the Internet celebrities in YouTube, Tiktok, Instagram, Twitter— you name it.

Notwithstanding, the 2020’s pandemic hadn’t been the only one to devastate the Earth.

There had been multiple environmental issues, like the raging of wildfires in sundry forests across the globe. World War III also threatened to break out of its cage as countries fought for dominance over lands they clearly had no business to claim.

Police brutality rages on. Their authority had been used for mayhem other than peace. It has breached the lives of people, especially to that of the black community. Everything went clusterfuck because the authorities think some people are inferior to them. They harmed rather than serve.

Chaos. Death. Fear. Those three things have managed to leave a blotch of bleakness that now blanketed the Earth.

The death toll exceeded that of the Black Plague that had swept across Europe hundreds of years ago. Hospitals transformed to that of a colony— the patients as the ants. Total panic enveloped everyone. Especially the poor, whose only shield against it had been a little bottle of alcohol.

Great Depression two-point-o, some would call the economy right now. Minimal jobs were offered, but the salary won’t be enough to feed a family of four.

Poverty’s poison didn’t fail to contaminate the globe. It strengthened its hold to the third world country, and flowed slowly to those in the upper level of society. Despite it all, everyone collapsed on its feet: adults with dreams for the younger generations. Teenager with dreams for the future. And children who were only starting to build their aspirations.

With it, the hopes of the seven-year-old boy who has the constellations in his eyes and a promise of tomorrow in his innocent face. It had all been obliterated because of heartache and neglect.

Hendery witnessed it every night; the shoutings of his mother, and the hopelessness in his father’s face as yet another job had turned him down. His bedroom walls didn’t muffle the sound— the silence only intensified it.

“You are a useless piece of shit!” her mother would scream.

Despite that, Hendery’s father would only cover his face with his hands. He would absorb every nag and every hurtful words his wife would throw at him. Because tomorrow would be another day to fight and he couldn’t afford losing the battle now. At least, that was what Hendery believed.

Never once did he hear his mother ask about his sake. Never once did he hear the words, “What about Hendery? He would starve!”

Starve he did.

A lanky seven-year-old, his neighbors would call him. Salt and rice every night. You only have to close your eyes and eat. Wash down the taste with water and sleep.

The home that was meant to give him comfort had turned his own hell. Its unfavorable walls would suffocate him every day. Its dull and dirty carpet would be his only friend for the days that would come.

And as if the world wasn’t done throwing knives and rocks at his back, Hendery found something that had completely deteriorated the little boy in him.

One day, when he was returning from their neighbor’s house— full and a little bit energetic— he found his mother’s clothes littered over the floor, with it were pants and shirts that didn’t belong to his father.

With his boy heart and still developing mind, Hendery sat in the kitchen. The noise of his mother’s adultery echoed across the whole house. Hendery patiently waited for it to stop, sitting there with his feet dangling from the chair.

Then the door clicked open, revealing his mother and the man he didn’t recognize. From his position to the kitchen, his mother failed to notice him. But Hendery could see everything unfolding before his very eyes. The unknown man picked up his clothes. When he was completely dressed, he fished for his wallet and handed Hendery’s mother money.

That night, there were sausages and eggs in the table. His mother was enthusiastic, but there was a dull spark in her eyes. His father, too, despite the smile on his lips, was a flash of apology in his orbs.

Hendery slept soundly. A tear escaping his eye.

“Why are you crying?” You crouched in front of a boy named Kristan. Snot and tear has already mixed up in his face to create dirty splotches. You held his hands softly to put beside his body.

Kristan sniffed. But did not answer.

“Kristan, tell me what happened,” you gently asked. His head bowed down deeper, as if he was embarrassed and scared to tell you anything. Kristan, he was one of your favorites despite his silent comportment and shy eyes.

Ever since Father Ben decided to teach the children from the village basic education at the church, you have been curious about Kristan. There was something about the boy. Sadness. Melancholy. Loneliness.

“I am here—” You were interrupted by Hendery, who also crouched beside Kristan. “What are you doing?” you deadpan.

Hendery ignored you, as he focused on Kristan. He puts his hand on his shoulder and pulls down his mask. “Tell me who among these kids beat you up,” he whispered, “Was it him?” Then he pointed towards the other boy who was curiously watching the three of you.

The slightest shock adorned Kristan’s face. He looked at you warily, obviously perturbed by Hendery’s presence.

You smiled at him to tell him it’s alright. And that he doesn’t need to be cautious around Hendery. Although you didn’t know about that yourself. Hendery was still a mystery.

“They… didn’t hurt me,” Kristan said through his snuffles. “Thank… you, Miss Y/N,” he added, then he looked at Hendery, “And to you… Mister…?”

“Hendery. Call me Hendery.”

“Mister Hendery,” Kristan said, practicing the new syllables of Hendery’s name. Kristan bowed before walking towards the line of boys again.

Concerned about the well-being of the boy, you sighed. When you turned to go back to packing the foods, Hendery walked up towards Kristan again.

“What is this?” he asked while slightly pulling up the little boy’s sleeves. There was a purple mark right on his arm. Something that definitely resembled a contusion.

When Kristan realized what was happening, he flinched away from Hendery.

You hurried beside him once more, brows furrowed. “Kristan, what is that?”

His eyes were fervent, lips quivering while wriggling free of your hold from his arm. Because of the fear that you might hurt him, you let Kristan go. He ran away.

Father Ben rushed towards you, robes billowing like waves against the pavement. “What is happening?” he asked.

You shared a look with Hendery before answering, “Hendery and I saw something in his arm— something like a bruise,” you explained. “Father, I think there’s something going on with Kristan, and I am deeply concerned about his well-being.”

The priest listened and nodded his head. “Follow me, the both of you,” he commanded before pivoted on his heel.

Without offering Hendery a glance, you followed Father Ben inside the church and to his chamber. When all three of you were secured inside, Father Ben locked the door.

You couldn’t help but observe Hendery as he roamed his eyes around the room. As if he was searching for something. Something valuable. But when he looked at you, he smiled and all your doubts vanished in a blink. How could happiness and sadness co-exist at the same time in someone else’s body?

The sound of papers shuffling woke you from your reverie. Father Ben raised up a paper, and studied it with his reading glasses.

“Here is Kristan’s birth certificate,” he announced. “His mother died giving birth to him. Kristan is being taken care of his father, his alcoholic father, at their house in the southeast part of the village.”

You listened carefully to each word. You already know that Kristan’s only living parent was his father. But never once did Father Ben shared the reality of him being alcoholic. Goosebumps crawled onto your back as realization slowly weaved its way through your mind.

“His father’s hurting him,” Hendery pronounced beside you.

Father Ben hummed. “That, we do not yet know. So it’d be really helpful if the both of you would venture to their house and check for your own eyes. I would’ve gone myself but I won’t be able to fight his father if it ever comes to that,” Father Ben continued, “He’s quite well-known as an aggressive man.”

“And… I suppose Hendery could fight him off?” You raised a brow. Hendery’s built wasn’t like that of a body-builder. He definitely belonged to the species of boys with sad eyes and skinny bodies. Dangerous. Utterly dangerous.

He chuckled— a quite rumbling sound that could stir butterflies inside a woman’s stomach. “I’m quite a fighter, Y/N,” he said.

You sighed. “Let’s just hope that it won’t come to aggression.” Then you focused your attention back to the priest. “What of me? What can I contribute, Father?”

Father Ben placed the paper back to his drawers. “You have your wits in you, hija. Convince his father to give us Kristan for a while until he gets his life on the right path.”

After Father Ben’s instruction, the both of you made your way down the stairs. You still couldn’t understand why Father Ben asked Hendery to come. He was from town after all. Townspeople weren’t so used to life in the countryside. In their towering factories and buildings, they still pretend that they have the glory of the past.

“Are you really from the city?” you asked, turning your body to face him. He descended the last step while you stood on the second.

His steps halted at the question, then he tilted his head quite a bit too see you. “What of it?”

You shrugged. “I don’t know. Having someone journey here from the city’s pretty unusual.” You descended the stairs and walked ahead of him.

“Having villagers in the city’s never been heard before,” he snorted.

Your brows furrowed. Was that an insult? Or was he simply baiting you? Whatever that meant, you halted. “What are you implying? That we don’t have the means to go to the city?” When Hendery shrugged, you puffed out your chest and held your chin up high. “Well, must I say to you that it’s pretty decent living in here than pretend to have riches in the city.”

He only chuckled, driving you irate even more. “We don’t pretend, Y/N.”

You have decided not to answer for your own well-being. He was truly a city boy. Arrogant. Condescending. Too full of himself. And you mustn’t bother yourself with him. Hendery was on the other side of your own spectrum. There was no point understanding a boy you have just met.

“Oh, wait.” You halted when you finally reached the exit door of the church. “I’ll ask Lucy if you could borrow her bicycle.” When you turned to leave, Hendery caught your wrist. Everything about you stopped functioning by the touch. It wasn’t as if you weren’t used to boys holding you— but yes, you could say that.

“We can ride my motorbike,” he suggested, “Much more convenient, don’t you think?”

Oh, no. No, no, no. If the year 2020 had learned its way towards openness and liberty, well, 2040 failed to adapt to that. “No,” you simply answered.

“No? What do you mean no? You’ll only ride behind me, then we’ll take off.”

You groaned. “City boys.” If anyone would see you riding a big motorbike, they would curse you as if you were the demon. You despised the notion yourself. And it was really tempting to try new things once in a while. Perhaps you were only being stupid— or naive. There was no harm riding a big black and shiny motorbike, right? You heaved out a deep sigh. “Alright, let’s go.”

Hendery’s confused visage turned to that of a bright one when he, once again, flashed you his pearlescent teeth. He jogged the distance towards his motorbike. Without any word, he hopped and snapped the pedal with his right foot.

“Hop in,” he said.

You raised a brow. “Helmet?”

“Church girls,” he groaned. You opened your mouth to speak, but Hendery once again cut you off, “Where is the fun in riding a motorbike if you’d wear a helmet?”

“Hendery, it’s a safety protocol if you aren’t—”

Once again, he groaned, “Where’s the fun in ‘safe’? Hop in.” He tilted his head to the side, encouraging you to finally hop in his motorbike.

“I think I’m gonna ride—”

“Y/N,” he firmly called, “Sometimes, you also have to taste the danger.” Then he reached for your hand. You would have flinched away, but the warmness of his palm hindered you from doing so. “Don’t you trust me?”

Trust? Mother says don’t talk to strangers. It has been a mantra of every little girl as they grow up. But you aren’t a little girl no more.

Other than his melancholic eyes, his name is all you know about him. And how could you trust the swirl of danger in his irises? However, humans are vexatious. They don’t always follow the rules.

When you are fed with deprivation of something extraordinary, you grow hankering after it.

You took Hendery’s hand. With your heart thudding inside your chest, you grasped your skirt and pulled your body upwards to sit on his motorbike. Hendery revved the engine, twisting his hand around the accelator.

“Please, slow down—!” Your chests collided against his back by the impact. Hendery chuckled, but he did not heed your cries. He rode through the road ahead, shoulders still rumbling of his laughters.

Skirt ballooning out, you prayed to God that you won’t meet your doom today. This has been a bad idea. A very bad one at that. What would people say if they witness a sacristan— a sacristan woman— riding this black motorcycle? With her skirts billowing out in the open? Oh, no. Your mother would whip you to shreds.

“Where are we going?” Hendery shouted.

You clutched on his front shirt tightly, afraid that the wind would surely swoosh you away if you do so much as to slacken your hold. “Where are we now?” you shouted back. Because you refused to sit up straight, you shielded yourself with Hendery’s body. And now your position shielded you away from seeing anything other than the road beneath the wheels.

“Y/N, please sit up straight.” He laughed. Oh, this boy relishes to your suffering. He really was. “We are currently entering a village…?”

You willed yourself to sit. Surely, it won’t kill you. You have seen actresses ride behind their own James Deans in big motorcycles such as this one.

“Alright, alright, I’ll slow down.” But Hendery’s words were muffled by the air. However, you felt the wheels roll slowly as it enters your village. Your village. Oh, no.

“No, please don’t! Faster, Hendery!” When he refused to rev the accelerator, you pinched his sides.

“Aw! Alright, alright!” Without another word, Hendery drove through the houses.

You obscured our face as much as you could. You couldn’t afford having someone recognize you. It won’t happen.

“Y/N, where are we going?” he asked for the second time. “We’re away from the houses. No one can see you here but the grasses,” he taunted.

You opened your eyes and saw the ground below, as well as the grasses. It only means you were well away from your village. You exhaled and sat up. “Turn left.”

“Left? Is there life at the end of this road?”

You deadpanned, “City boys.”

“No, seriously?”

“Yes, there is Hendery. It’s the most isolated part of the village— please look at the road,” you reminded him when he attempted to face you sideways.

“Kristan’s from here?”

“Apparently.”

He nodded his head. “He walks this distance every day?”

“Yes.”

It was somehow weird to talk about life in the countryside with a city boy. If Hendery was, indeed, from the city. You have no idea about the city ever since the pandemic. This has always been your home; the trees, the grasses, the kind neighbors, and a pious village. The liveliness of the wen— if claims were to be trusted— has been no more than a thing left in the back of your mind. It was almost a name you have no idea how to pronounce.

“You, too?” Hendery asked. A question you didn’t expect to hear.

“Uh-huh.” Then a chuckled. “We’re left with no choice since we have no resources when it comes to vehicles.”

“How do you go to the city, then?”

“We don’t go to the city. Unless it is needed.”

Hendery hummed. “And how do you go?”

“We ask the chieftain to lend us the ambulance.”

“The ambulance?” he asked.

The road becomes bumpy because of rocks, so you hold on him tightly once again. Hendery chuckled at your action, but did not bait you.

“Yes,” you answered. “Oh, we’re here,” you announced as Kristan’s village looms ahead. It was shielded away from your eyes because of the trees circling the whole vicinity.

“Do they sleep with snakes here?” There wasn’t any jeer to his voice, only curiosity.

You snorted. “Why don’t you stay for the night to try?” You gathered your skirt then planted your heel to the ground. With a swing of your leg, you hopped off his motorbike.

“I’d like to.” Hendery fished out a packet of cigarettes from the pocket of his jacket. He pressed one between his fingers and lit the tip with a lighter.

“Is that necessary?” you asked.

People in this part of town weren’t welcoming. That was why it didn’t come off as a shock to know that Kristan’s father was alcoholic. It simply was the way of living here: alcohol, cigarettes, cards. That being said, having an outsider such as Hendery venture here could provoke the most hard-headed fathers and boys alike.

Hendery sipped then  blew smoke out in the air. “What are you scared of?”

For a minute, you caught a spark in his irises. It was as if he didn’t ask about your fears— but your insecurities. And of the things you wanted to try but couldn’t. Or perhaps it was only you, digging deeper into the simple question.

“God,” you simply answered.

“There is no god,” he retorted.

That caught you off-balance. An aspiring sacristan wouldn’t say that. “Father says you want to be a sacristan. How could you? When you don’t have any faith?”

Hendery stopped for a second before blinking. “There is no god but God the Father Almighty in heaven.” Then he flashed you a smile. You furrowed your brows. “Shall we?” he asked, throwing out his cigarette to the ground.

You shrugged.

Different sets of eyes pierced your bodies as you and Hendery trodded the dusty road. Mothers with their youngest born straddling their waists peered through wooden gates. Fathers with their cigarettes and beer bottles scrutinized you from head to toe. You were covered from your neck down your heel, but they look at you as if you were naked.

Hendery beside you exudes indifference. Shoulders straight and chin up high, Hendery stared every man down. You didn’t know if that’s a good idea or not. The last thing you need was a brawl between him and the juveniles surrounding you.

Finally, you have reached Kristan’s home. It ws made of cement and sawali, just like most of the houses you have just passed by.

You smoothed out your skirt before knocking. One, two, three knocks before his Father greeted you with a grunt.

“What d’ya want?” he asked  in a rumpled voice.

Hendery stepped beside you. “We’re here to talk.”

Kristan’s father wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “I don’t have anytime for you—”

“It’s about Kristan,” Hendery stated, jaw clenching.

To be honest, you didn’t expect him to make the talking. You could do it yourself. But you were still thankful that he was with you right now.

Kristan’s father rests his body against the doorframe. “What about my son?” Yes, he did ask about his son. However, there wasn’t any trace of concern in his voice.

You cleared your throat. “Father Ben wants to take care of Kristan for a while, until we’re sure that he’s safe living here.”

You heard the crashing of his beer bottle first, before you felt the tightening of your throat by the way he grabbed your collar.

“No one tells me what to do—”

Your first instinct had been to lash out on him, but your anger got the best of you. Before you could act out on your own, Hendery wrapped his hand around the man’s wrist. With force, he pushes him away and twisted the bone.

You stared in horror as Kristan’s father screamed in pain while holding his broken wrist. “Hendery!” you shouted as he sauntered towards the man. Hendery grabbed his head and slammed his knees against his nose, once again cracking the bones.

Thunderstruck beyond comprehension, you flew towards Hendery. “Hendery! Stop!”

Kristan’s father was on the ground, clutching his bleeding nose. Hendery towered over him with clenched fist, ready to pounce at any given time. Before he could swing yet another blow, you already lay hold of his arm.

“What are you doing?!” you asked, out of breath.

“Beating the shit out of him,” he said in nonchalance.

“That— isn’t what Father Ben asked as to do,” you reminded him, despite the fact that Father Ben indeed expected a brawl.

Hendery’s muscles relaxed nonetheless. He pointed a finger towards Kristan’s father who’s still on the ground, glaring at the both of you.

You grapple for words— anything. “Did you hurt your son?” you ask.

“What of it? You don’t have a child so you won’t understand how it is to discipline one,” he answered.

Hendery crouched. You grabbed hold of his back collar. “You fucking hurt your son again,” he spits, “I will kill you.”

“Father, I’m home— Miss Y/N?”

The three of you turned your attention towards the little boy who entered the house. Kristan. He was holding a plastic of what you could tell was a bag of vegetables.

Kristan’s eyes turns to Hendery, and to his bloodied father. “Mister Hendery? What are you doing here?”

“You’ll come with us for a while,” Hendery said.

“What is happening?”

You crouched in front of the boy and lay hold of his shoulders. “Father Ben asked us to take you back to the church. Where you’ll stay for a while until your Father learns how to be a good one.”

“Really?” Kristan asked in relief.

Has this house been his hell that it’s a relief to be away from his father? You frowned at the thought.

“But… Father— he’s going to be alone.”

“Ask your Father. We still need his approval after all,” you explained.

Kristan walked towards his father, who was standing and padding his pants. Hendery crossed his arms over his chest, watching the man warily.

“Father, is it okay if I’ll leave for a while? Will you be fine?” the little boy asked.

“Go! Do what you want! Don’t come back!” he shouted.

However, Kristan didn’t flinch. It was as if he had been to used to this kind of treatment. “Alright, I’ll come back. Don’t worry, I won’t leave you.” Then he hugged his Father’s hips.

You looked away, unable to watch the scene unfolding before your eyes. It would seem as if Hendery couldn’t take it in himself, for your eyes crossed as he looks away, too.

“Take care and be good. I love you, Father.” Kristan turned his back against his Father. He smileed at you and took your hand. You held his hand tightly and spared his Father one last look.

He turned his back the same time his tear slid down his face. You swallowed the lump in your throat before bowing slightly as a goodbye.

iv. He suffered under Pontius Pilate, was crucified, died, and was buried…

Pandemic and poverty, it truly was a wonder how Hendery survived such dreadful times. Perhaps there was really a god, lurking somewhere, ready to grant the wishes of the people during those awful times.

Yet as far as Hendery was concerned, nobody prayed for him when the pandemic striked him. Right, this lanky seven-year-old’s suffering didn’t end after he found out about his mother’s adultery.

At first, Hendery brushed off the heaviness of his eyelids together with his parched throat as a common sickness. He never told his mother or father about it, for the fear that it might fruit into something their financial stability won’t be able to answer for.

But then hours had gone by, with Hendery’s air passage slowly closing in on him. As if a boulder was placed right in on his lungs, demanding his life by choking him. Cough dry and head aching, Hendery twisted and turned on his bed, unable to think clearly. He felt as if he was dying— dying in the most horrible way possible.

Thereafter, he believed that he had gone in and out of consciousness, or perhaps it was only his vision going blurry from the ache his body was trying to fight off.

Hendery failed to recognize his father as he leaned to check his son. And he failed to recognize the feeling of being scooped up from the bed, with his father shouting for help as if his life depended on it.

Blotches of darkness swam in his line of sight. The cries of his mother as well as the panicked shouts of his father were muffled by his coughing.

Would this be the end? Was this the life the gods had planned out for him? To die young? To die without a fight? How do you accept this fate?

For once, he wanted to see the end of this pandemic. He wanted to witness the rainbow after this storm. For once, he yearned to see something beautiful. Just once.

Hendery fully succumbed to oblivion.

When he woke up, it was the white light that filled his vision. Was it heaven? Hendery tried to make sense of his surroundings, but no noise could be heard other than the beeping of machines around him.

His eyelids fluttered open completely. The ceiling to where his hospital bed was located flashed above him like a canvas of nothing but white. There was a tightness in his nose, and he realized that he was breathing through an apparatus.

Hendery tried to move his fingers. They were mobile, albeit frail. It’s the same with his feet. Perhaps it was the incessant ravaging of the cough against his lungs that made him sick to the bones. He would’ve thanked whoever there was to be thankful for, if not for the uncertainty that was still stretching out in front of him. The pandemic wasn’t a one-night killer. It would render you infirm for weeks— it’s only up to the doctors and your own antibodies if they won’t collapse and give up on you.

And Hendery’s feeble state, as well as his age, failed to give him much hope.

He would die, right there— alone. God has shunned him away. He refused to cry, since no amount of tears could appease the loneliness inside him.

Hendery closed his eyes again.

The second time he woke, the doctors were smiling in front of him. The nurses guided him out of his bed. They even helped him get dressed in new clothes. Baffled was an understatement for what he felt that day. Was he out of danger? Could he truly live now? With his mother and father once again?

For the first time since his life went downhill, Hendery smiled. There wasn’t a reason not to. If he could, he would jump from happiness. He did it. He survived.

Hendery excitedly roamed his eyes around him from the wheelchair, hoping to finally meet his parents after weeks of being separated from them. Yet no familiar faces greeted him when he reached the exit of the hospital.

A clawing feeling rested in his stomach, but he couldn’t afford to cave in his fear. Hendery remained smiling until a middle-aged woman stood before him.

“Are you Hendery?” she asked.

“Yes. I am,” Hendery answered without looking at the woman. He was busy searching for his parents.

“Thank you so much for taking care of my niece. I’ll  forever be grateful for your service. I’ll take him from here,” the woman announced.

“Wait—” Hendery turned around to see the woman taking the wheelchair from the nurses. “Where’s my Mom? My Dad?”

“Hendery, I’ll explain once we reach the house,” his apparent aunt said.

Hendery pursed his lips together. “Is Mom and Dad—”

“Be quiet,” the woman said softly.

Hendery had been quiet thereafter.

Hendery looked up to see the stars in the skies. How pretty they truly were. He won’t blame those who wishes upon these twinkling white lights. But he would feel utterly stupid himself to whisper his dreams to these scintillating lights that would die later on.

Supernova, scientists call it. It is the dying of a star. It is its return to atoms, particles, or whatever shit there is in the universe even before matter and time took its place.

Hendery let the liquor grate his throat as he took yet another swig from his bottle. Liquor and unwanted memories? Sign him up. Deep conversations with himself? He might be heartless in the eyes of many, but Hendery knew how to contemplate things. Too bad that he didn’t have anyone to share his thoughts with.

“What on earth are you doing?”

Oh, perhaps there was.

Aghast by the fact that there were empty bottles littered all around him, you gazed at Hendery.

It had been a week since he arrived at the church, telling everyone that he wanted to be a sacristan. So far, so good. He was a fast-learner albeit not showing any interests when it came to talking about the Bible. You still had your doubts in the pockets of your skirts. And seeing him drinking himself right behind the structures of the Church only intensified your wariness.

But the boy faced you with a smile. “Drinking,” he answered with a shrug.

“I know you are drinking,” you seethed. “But why are you drinking?”

It was past six p.m. already. You had completed your duties to the Church, and had also tucked in Kristan to the sacristan’s quarters just below Father Ben’s own chamber.

“To let off some steam.”

You stomped towards him with your chest puffing out of irritation. “First, you smoke on your first day. Then you drink on your first week. What on earth is wrong with you, Hendery?”

“Why don’t you sit with me for a while?”

You flew your arms to the air. “You are unbelievable.”

Hendery leaned back. “Aren’t you curious about me?”

“I am—” You closed your mouth. The words slipped out before you knew it.

His smile only widened . “Father Ben’s secured in his chamber. There is no need to fret.” He motioned his head down the space beside him. “Sit.”

They said drunk men speak the most truth. If you could squeeze anything out of him by joining him tonight, you would. With a heavy heart, you sat beside Hendery. The acrid smell of the alcohol whiffed your nose like a whiplash instantly.

“Now,” he began. “Ask me anything you want.”

“Where are y—”

Hendery pressed a finger to your lips. “In one condition: drink.”

You swatted his hand away with a frown. “I’m going.” But before you could stand up, Hendery held your wrist.

“I’m kidding,” the boy said  with a chuckle.

There. That smile. That chuckle.

“Seriously.” You sat comfortably again. “Where are you from?”

“The city,” he answered. “I was born in the city. It’s all I’ve ever known ever since.”

“The pandemic hit the city hardest,” you commented. It was true, though. Because of their lifestyle and opulence, the pandemic moved way faster in the city compared to the villages.

“Yes, it did,” he whispered before downing the last gulp from his bottle. Hendery burped softly before tossing the empty bottle to the grass.

“One, two, three, four—” You scrunched your nose. “Five bottles. Now tell me, where did you get these?” you asked, pertaining to the liquor.

Hendery looked at you as if you beguile him to the fullest. “Convenience store. You have it here.”

You shot up a brow. “And you decided it best to consume them here? In the Church?”

“If it wasn’t obvious, yes.”

“I don’t have anything against you, smoking and drinking, but we shall set a good example to the children.”

Hendery quirked a brow. “Do you think smoking and drinking are bad examples?”

“Personally? No.” It was true. You didn’t think they were bad examples. It was always the person. But the church-goers were mostly children. They still don’t have the capacity to balance the right and the wrong for their age. Eventually, they would know. However, it was your duty to protect their innocent minds as best you could. “But there are children here. We must guide them.”

“They’ll learn to smoke later on.” He shrugged.

You hummed. “That, we aren’t sure of. Until then, let’s guide them first.”

“You’re truly devoted to being a sacristan, aren’t you?” Hendery asked, his head looking up to the skies.

You watched him in silence. His side profile was undeniably beautiful. You have never seen such soft features, to be honest. “Yes, I am.”

“Is that your dream?”

You tilted your head up to see the skies yourself. The stars were sprinkled like white sands against the darkness of the heavens. You smiled. “I have a lot of dreams, though. Like the stars above, they are somewhat implausible.”

It was his turn to look at you. If he was to be honest, Hendery found your face marvelous. He had never seen your likeness in the city. “Why do you say that?”

Perhaps someone would find it funny that you were opening yourself up to this boy. A boy you just met one week ago. However, there was a space in your heart that tells you it’s alright to tell Hendery all your dreams and worries, your aspirations and your doubts. Strangers couldn’t judge you.

You sigh. “I am… stuck here. I’ve never been anywhere else but here.”

“Not even in the city?”

You shake your head.

Hendery hums. “Well, it’s not really different. If not, it’s worse.” He chuckles. “Everyone lives as if it’s the end of the world tomorrow.”

“Isn’t that wonderful?” You hugged your knees closer to your chests. “I’ve always wanted to experience a night like that.”

Hendery snorted. “It gets tiring. And it’s not really convenient when you don’t have the money.”

“For what? Can’t you enjoy without it?”

He strayed his eyes towards you. There was a spark of amusement dancing in his orbs. As if he found your question fascinating. “You can’t. What about drugs? Alcohol? Cigarettes? You can’t buy those without money.”

Oh. Of course. Hendery’s talking about parties. He looked like that kind of boy at first glance. Yet upon hearing his snorts and the dissent on his face, you have realized that perhaps both of you were yearning for something you weren’t been born to reach. You, the city. Him, the peace of the countryside.

“I wasn’t talking about those,” you said. Hendery fixed you with a curious look. “I’m talking about the city lights above the rooftops. The blare of the cars. The life outside this town.”

Hendery threw his head back, contorting the tattoo on the side of his neck, and laughed softly. “Of course.” His laughters ceased, like smoke slowly dissipating into the air. “But there is more to that.”

You stood up and smoothed out your skirt. “Perhaps.”

“Don’t you want more?”

With that, you looked down at him to flash him a small smile. “I’ve always wanted more. Perhaps there is more to the world than this little town. Perhaps I deserve to see it one day.”

Hendery didn’t break eye contact when he said the words, “There are millions of possibilities if you’d only dare.”

In which you didn’t have any answer for.

v. He descended to the dead. On the third day, He rose again…

Hendery waited. For hours, days, months, but he’d never seen his parents again.

The roof above him and the floors underneath his feet were a place he had never seen before. Wherever he looked, the unfamiliarity of everything would hit him like a tidal wave. From the couches to the television, to the doorframe and the windowsills, no one could deny that this house had seen better days.

Hendery sleeps in a cot of hard wood that leaves his back aching every morning. He eats in a kitchen with mice crawling in the corners and cockroaches flying in different directions. Nevertheless, there was food and somehow it was all that matters.

What happened to his Mom and Dad? Hendery was left with puzzles of an answer himself. After he survived the pandemic, he was met with yet another obstacle: orphanhood.

His aunt, Lilia, said that his father died. He died because of the pandemic, too. Hendery wept for days on end, refusing to believe what had befell his loving father. But as Lilia showed him the death certificate, Hendery’s world collapsed to shreds. That had been the time when he felt utterly alone, with no one to guide him and no one to tuck him in his sleep but the coldness of the world and the loneliness of the night.

His mother— no one knows what happened to her. They say she was in an asylum. They say what had betided her husband and son shattered her mind. Hendery tried to gather information. He tried to ask his aunt about his mother’s whereabouts. But whenever he does, he’s met with a slap on the cheek.

Aunt Lilia was a kind woman— she really was. But there had been times when she would talk to no one in the windows, or would cry with unknown reasons on the kitchen floors. Sometimes, she would sing lullabies to help Hendery sleep. Sometimes, she would whip him until he was crying and begging for help.

No one saved him.

One day, when Aunt Lilia was fast asleep and snoring on her couch, Hendery tiptoed to the door. It’s time for him to leave this godforsaken place. It’s time that he finds his mother. He was twelve years old.

According to the doctors themselves, you become immune to the pandemic once it has already hit you. Hendery braved the pandemic with a single mask and a little bottle of alcohol. And for months, he would live in the streets.

You sang your favorite song while walking. It was eight p.m., the road was almost empty, save for a few workers going home to your village. Fortunately, it didn’t rain tonight so there were no need for umbrellas and tiptoeing through the mud.

Hendery remained in the Church, to do what, you hadn’t bothered to ask. He offered to take you home, but you politely declined. After a series of convincing Hendery that you were going to be fine on your own, his shoulders finally slumped in approval. Your mother would collapse on the ground if she ever sees you riding Hendery’s motorbike.

You didn’t take him for a gentleman. However, there were still a lot of things you didn’t know about the boy. After your conversation with him on the grasses, perhaps he’s allowed you to slip through his visions, even just for a little bit.

As you neared towards your house, elders and children alike scattering around your street drew you in a halt. What is happening? A bad feeling rested in your stomach, but you sent a silent prayer that it wasn’t what you were thinking about.

Your mother was also one of the villagers out, so you sauntered straight towards her with your forehead drawn in a crease. “What’s happening, Mom?”

Her lips were pulled in a tight frown. “Bandits!” she seethed, as if the word had been the cruelest of all curses. “They took Loira’s money that she hid under the dresser.”

“How? Are bandits that skilled?”

As far as you could tell, Aunt Loira’s home was barred from ceiling to floor. She doesn’t go out of the house without locking all the possible holes that bandits might slip through.

“Evil knows no bounds,” your mother once again spat. “Yes, they are that skilled and heartless nowadays.”

The village chieftain as well as the other tanods circle Aunt Loira’s home with their lamps and flashlights. But you’d doubted that they would acquire evidence. Bandits had been pillaging your village as well as the neighboring ones for years. No one could ell what they look like. However, some elders think that the men from Kristan’s village were the ones responsible for the robbery.

“But Aunt Loira literally bars her whole house whenever she leaves for the market, right?”

Your mother made a strange noise through her nose. “She forgot to lock her back door when she left earlier.” Then she wrapped a hand around your wrist. “Come, the food’s getting colder.”

With one last look at Aunt Loira’s house, you let your mother lead you away from the mayhem.

You have been a victim of the bandits yourselves. Once, when you were ten years old. And it had been of your own fault. Father and Mother went to the market that day, and being the only daughter that you were, you had no one to play with whenever they were away. So you hopped out of bed, with your morning glory still stuck in your eyes and hair like the nest of birds, you hadn’t bothered to lock your house and flew straight to your childhood friends.

When you came back home, Mother was frowning at you. She would’ve had you whipped if not for your father, who kindly stood between you and your mother’s diabolical punishments. The money from the old refrigerator was stolen. It was the money for the renovation of your own room. Because of its looting, you still stare at the blotches of rainwater on your canopy every night until now, praying that it won’t collapse on you.

As you lay on your bed, silent contemplations ravaged your mind: the conversation with Hendery, the bandits, your unattainable dreams— are they though?

You have always dreamed of traveling the world. See the wonders of it for yourself. But how could you do that if you have been stuck here ever since? You have no idea what the city looks like. Mother said you were born in the city, but before the lockdown had taken place over the whole country, Mother went back to this village. Apparently, the isolated places were safer during the pandemic.

The pandemic has been over for five years now. Surely, there was more to life than this quiet town, right? You love this village with all your heart. However, you feel as if there were a lot more waiting for you out there. As Hendery said, there were millions of possibilities if you’d only dare.

Dare. What an audacious word. It made you feel dauntless just saying it.

You sat up and stared at the view outside your windows. What could truly happen if you dares the world? What could happen if you step your foot out of this town and dare?

vi. He ascended into Heaven, sits at the right hand of God, the Father Almighty…

“He’s not from here,” the other boys whispered.

Hendery continued ransacking the trash cans under the bridge. It had been exactly two weeks since he escaped Aunt Lilia’s hell house. And he wasn’t fairing well. The coins he stole from Aunt Lilia’s dresser were beginning to sound nothing in his pockets despite the fact that water was all his body consumed ever since escaping.

They say you could survive without food, but you wouldn’t survive without water. So he drank and drank until his stomach became bloated. Breakfast, lunch, and dinner, Hendery would buy at least one bottle of water with the stolen money and would consume it for two days. Sounds impossible for other people, but Hendery made it to two weeks of not fainting on the ground by that.

“He looks like he’s from here, though,” the other boy commented.

Hendery paid them no heed, for he found a bag of chips in the trash. It tasted like ashes in his mouth, but he couldn’t complain. He’d never complain.

Hendery fished for yet another chip when the boys snatched the bag away from him. They sneered. At long last, Hendery looked at them. And they were exactly like a mirror of him. Greasy hair, acrid smell, tattered clothes— and that something in their eyes: despair.

“Where are you from, boy?” One of them asked.

Boy? He didn’t look older than Hendery. However similar their situations might be, he had no time to linger around them. He needed to find his mother. So he turned his back and walked away. Not even a few steps ahead, someone grabbed his shoulder and spun him around. The boy smirked before landing a blow at his nose.

Hendery staggered backwards, aghast and angry at the same time. He touched his nose, and found it bleeding. Fueled by hunger and lost and a shit ton of problems, Hendery let his backpack fall to the ground and charged towards the boy.

They rolled off the ground. Hendery had him by the collar, and all the boy did was to choke. If no one would intrude, Hendery could surely kill him. But when they rolled once more and Hendery got on the boy’s stomach, he raised a fist only for someone to wrap a viselike grip around his wrist.

Hendery shot him a glare, but he answered him with a kind smile. That was when he noticed there were at least five of them there. Six, if Hendery was to count himself.

“There is no need for us to kill each other,” the boy said. “Stand up.”

Hesitant, Hendery wriggled free before standing on his feet. Once again, he turned on his heel to walk away.

“Why are you leaving?” the boy asked. “We have food here. And a shelter for the night.”

That sounded like a dream. Hendery had never heard of that for two weeks. Not even experienced any of that. Still, he didn’t turn.

“I promise we won’t harm you.”

He continued to walk away. If Hendery had come to a realization, it was that he could survive on his own. He’d experienced a lot of shit already being with people.

“We can help you!” the boy shouted.

With that, Hendery gripped the straps of his backpack tightly. He didn’t know if it was out of luck, or the boy really hit something that made his consciousness stir. If Hendery wanted to find his mother, it’d be better to have companions he could rely on.

He turned to face the boys again. “Really?” he shouted back.

They looked at one another before trodding the distance towards Hendery. The taller man stretched out his hand, with a smile he said, “I’m Kun.”

Hendery stared at the hand before taking it. “Hendery.”

“We can help you,” Kun said. “In one condition.”

You stared at your reflection on the mirror. The glass had a lot of brown blotches because of its age. But your reflection could still be seen.

Another day, another walk, another face to greet.

It’s Sunday already. The third Sunday of the month. You once believed that if people would pray day and night in the churches and in their houses, the bad things crawling in the world would somehow lessen. You were mistaken.

Bandits, bandits, bandits. They were everywhere these days. Mother even refused to go to the market in fear of being robbed. That left you with no choice but to go on your own. How? You exactly have no idea.

It was always best to visit the market at dawn, for the vegetables and meats were still fresh. You could still buy something after noon, but it won’t be as worth the money as they were in the gloaming. And the bandits had left yet another fiendish mess at Uncle Gino’s house. Your mother had been a cursing mess for hours since they stole a precious heirloom from Uncle’s treasure chest.

You sighed. Why is your village always prone to bandits? It wasn’t as if your chieftain never does anything for it, if not, he’s hands-on searching for the robbers. With no luck at all. Bandits disappeara like a bubble everytime they come close to capturing them.

At the church, everyone else was busy when you arrived. Save for one person; Hendery. He was leaning on the door frame of the sacristan’s quarter, watching everyone pass by him.

“Why aren’t you doing anything?” you asked when you reached him.

“Ah, my dearest Y/N,” he sighed. “How I’ve missed you dearly.”

You deadpanned. “We met yesterday, Hendery.”

“Then? Am I not allowed to miss you?” He raised a brow.

You compressed your lips in a tight line. Three weeks since the boy arrived and in some way you have found a common ground together: talking about your dreams. Well, it’s you who’s always doing the talking. While he listened and snorted whenever he disagrees with you. It had been somewhat challenging, having someone disagree with you.

“Let’s go,” you sighed. “The mass is about to start.”

Thankfully, he was already donned in his white robes. No matter how holy the color might be, it failed to make him one. If not, it had only intensified the danger lurking within him.

Hendery yawned all throughout the mass, resulting in you nudging his ribs with your elbow. You couldn’t still comprehend his goal for joining the church. He seemed disinterested about everything. You have to find out his true intentions or else you will lose your mind thinking.

And it was not right to think about anything but the Lord while the mass is going on.

“Our Father, Who art in Heaven…” The churchgoers starts to sing. They clasped their hands as if in prayer while singing. Father Ben already practiced the right way in singing the litany. No one holds hand any longer.

You clasped your own hand. “Holy be Thy Name— what are you doing?” In bafflement and shock, you hissed louder than what you intended to.

Hendery took your right hand to clasped with his left. He didn’t answer you, though. He kept on looking straight at the altar. “Thy Kingdom Come, Thy will be done…” he started to sing along.

Flustered on where you stand, you roamed your eyes around you. Lucy and Rei were busy singing their hymns, oblivious to the way Hendery was breaking Father Ben’s rule.

You tried to wriggle free, but his grip was viselike. It’s disrupting the mass for you. With a heavy intake of breath, you let it go. “On Earth as it is in Heaven…” you sang along.

When he heard you, Hendery slackened his hold. You looked at him the same time he looked at you. And there he was, smiling like an idiot. “Give us this day, our daily bread…” he sang as he focused on the altar again.

You blinked, heart doing somersaults inside your chest. “And forgive us our trespasses…” you sang.

Everything had come at once. The echoes of the singing churchgoers, as well as Hendery’s.

“As we forgive those who trespass against us…”

The beating of your heart was wild. For what reasons? You have no idea. It was just there, beating stubbornly inside your ribcage.

“And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil…”

After the mass, and when all the churchgoers finished asking for Father Ben’s blessings and advice, he gathered all the sacristan inside the church.

You sat between Rei and Lucy, while Hendery sat behind you. He still has that infuriating smile on his face. Truth be told, and no matter how hard you tried, you also smiled a little yourself.

“I’ve heard the concerns of the people,” Father Ben announced. “For years, we have faced the bandits.”

You straightened up. In his own ways, Father Ben had been a huge help for the people. You won’t call him rich, but he’s always ready to lend money to those who fell to the bandits’ wrongdoings. You have seen his treasure chest once, and you believe you had been the only one allowed to see it.

“As much as I would like to financially aid everyone, my coffers couldn’t hold everything,” he added.

Lucy intruded, “It is alright Father. You’ve been helping us since you came here in the village. And for that we are thankful. But you need not bother yourself for our problems.”

Father Ben smiled. “I am the priest of this town. I need to preserve peace just like the chieftain. It’s been a pleasure to help with my own ways.”

You cleared your throat. “How can we help, Father?”

“Ah, yes.” Father Ben placed his hands behind him. “I need you to be vigilant. Not only for your own sakes, but for the well-being of others, too. Help in your own little ways. Be it helping the townspeople pick the strongest barriers there is in the market, they’d appreciate that. I trust you all. And don’t forget to pray for your village and the neighboring ones, too.” Father Ben makes a cross in the air. “May God bless us all.”

“Amen,” you said in unison.

Father Ben returned behind the altar to check up on Kristan, more likely. As for the little boy, he was comfortable, he said. His father also tried to visit him, but found it hard to face his son. Kristan said  it’s fine, and that his father deserved time to think.

You stood up together with the other sacristan with a sigh. Bandits are such headaches. It gets tiring having to deal with them. It feels as if dealing with the wind. Invisible. And there was yet another headache you have to face: going to the market.

If you were lucky, you could reach the market at one p.m.. But vehicles during this time of the day were rare. Not to mention the village was isolated.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Hendery asked as he stood in front of you.

You sighed a pensive one. He’s your third headache of the day. “Please, Hendery. I’m thinking.” You started to walk away, but he followed beside you.

“Perhaps I can help.”

You drew in a halt. Mayhaps it was a blessing in disguise— him. Hendery has a motorbike. You’d get there and come back on time if you would ride with him. But courage was a luxury you couldn’t afford, so you shun the thoughts.

“No, I’m fine. Thank you.”

“Are you sure?”

Your tongue ached to say the words. And your body yearned to feel the wind on your face, too. It was not everyday that a chance opens up like this in front of you. Dare.

You straightened your shoulders. “Can you take me to the market?” The market isn’t as far as the city. But going in there is a once-in-a-blue-moon opportunity you couldn’t afford to miss. It was a step, no matter how small.

Hendery raised a brow. “What business do you have in the market?”

You played with your lower lip with your teeth. A fleet of a moment, and a moment you had surely missed: the way Hendery looked at your lips when you rolled it between your teeth. “Well,” you said, “I need to buy some food. And mother wouldn’t leave the house in fear of bandits robbing us.”

“Understandable,” he said. “But I have a condition to make.”

“Forget it—”

“Kidding.” Then he laughed. “You are one hell of a heartless woman, do you know that?”

A ghost of a smile painted your lips. “It is not right to say ‘hell’ inside the church. And why do you say that?”

“What about my wage?”

You blinked. “Oh, I— I didn’t bring any extra cash—”

Hendery placed his hand on the top of your head. “I’m just kidding.” Then he pivoted on his heel, his keys dangling between his fingers.

You followed.

“I thought you didn’t have a helmet.” You shot up a brow to your forehead upon seeing one helmet resting on his accelerator.

Hendery shrugged. “It’s for you.”

And there it wasagain, the wild beating of your heart. As if it was an animal begging to be unleashed to the world. “That’s… kind of you.” That had been the only thing you were able to say. “But how did you know to bring one?”

He disentangled the helmet from the accelerator. “Because I am always waiting for you.”

“For me? What do you mean?”

“I’m always waiting for you to ask me to take you to the city.”

Without giving you any time to comprehend his words and form coherent answers, Hendery fixed the helmet to your head. But before he could fully lock it under your chin, you stopped his hands.

“I think I’ll prefer to feel the wind.”

Hendery smiled, but continued to lock the helmet nevertheless. “Not today. I drive relatively fast, and the road to the market’s pretty bumpy. You won’t enjoy it.”

“I appreciate you, bringing this, but—”

He tapped the head of the helmet. “No buts.”

Hendery climbed his motorbike, then nudged his head to invite you to hop in. Just like the last time, you pulled up your skits and climb behind him. He revved the engine and you rode together.

The feel of riding behind him had become a reflex inside your body. A peaceful one, despite the blare of his engine and the harsh slap of the wind on your face.

“Hold on,” he reminded you before he accelerated the engine yet again.

You wrapped your arms around his torso. This was the second time you rode a motorbike, but the feeling compared to last time has drastically changed. There was no fear now. Only fascination and curiosity of what lies behind everything you have ever known.

If you’d only dare.

An hour before the clock strikes two, you have finally reached the buzz of the market.

When the pandemic ended, the livelihood didn’t go back automatically to normal. There were millions of protocols and reminders from the government. Because the pandemic didn’t really disappear like a bubble in the air. It was there, still. But after the years of its ravaging, the human body slowly adapted to its hazards.

It became just like the flu. More dangerous, yes. But less hazardous now.

“Wait for me here,” you said to Hendery.

“I’ll come with you.”

You stopped. “Are you sure? It’s quite chaotic inside. And… city boys are city boys.”

A playful laugh resonated from him. “I’ve been here before, sacristan. I’ll be fine.”

When he said that he’d be fine, it was true. Hendery jumped from vendor to vendor to help you buy all your needs. Be it meat, poultry, vegetables, or fruits. Father’s coming home in two days after weeks of being away, so Mother wants to cook something special for him. And you, too.

“Is this all?” he asked when you finished. Hendery insisted on carrying everything, which you politely declined. But he didn’t stop bugging you about it until you gave up and handed him everything.

“I need to buy onions over there, across the street. Could you hold this for me? I’ll be quick.”

Hendery nodded. You fished for your wallet inside your pocket. Halfway across the street, someone bumped into you.

“I… I’m sorry,” you said. But the man ignored you as he continued to walk away.

Five steps ahead, you noticed something. Your wallet was stolen. Before you could shout, Hendery was running for the boy already. Shocked and confused, you did the first thing that occured to your mind; run for them.

The wallet didn’t have much money, but it was given by your mother on your birthday. And you have been utterly sentimental when it comes to gifts. The boy can take the money, but he needs to give back your wallet.

Hendery ran pretty fast that you almost lost him in the maze of people and stalls alike. He turned left. You pulled up your heavy skirts and follow him. When you finally reached the alleyway he’s run off to, you have found out that it was a dead end.

Hendery was sitting on the boy’s stomach, and he had him by the throat. Few steps away from them, your wallet lays on the ground. You gulped and sauntered up to the two boys.

“What the fuck are you doing, Hendery?”

He knew Hendery? How come?

“Dude, you need to let me g—”

Hendery punched him straight. You gasped. The boy’s eyes rolled before his head collapsed to the ground. And he was unconscious.

Hendery stood up and picked your wallet. He didn’t look at you when he handed it back. “Let’s go home,” he says.

You stared at the boy with your brows narrowing. Is he a bandit? How did he know Hendery? Gripping the wallet tightly, you pivoted on your heels and walked away.

Something wasn’t right.

vii. From thence He shall come to judge the living and the dead...

“I say I beat the shit out of him right now,” Xiaojun seethed upon seeing Hendery enter the room.

Kun, while sitting on the table, raised a hand to stop the other boy from attacking Hendery. He had always been like that; the middle man. Yet Hendery could sense the disappointment as well as the inquisition in the air. This is going to be one hell of a night.

“Sit,” Kun announced as he stretched out his hand to the empty chair on his left side.

Xiaojun, Hendery’s comrade, had his fist clenched while sitting on the window sill. The punch he landed on his face has left a contusion to the bone right below his eyes. Hendery didn’t feel sorry. Not even a little bit.

Kun’s ‘office’ had been stripped off any furniture saved for a table and two chairs. There was only one light hanging from the ceiling. It casted off an orange hue to everything it touches.

If Hendery spends so much as an hour here, he would lose his mind. However, Kun has managed to make this empty place his abode whenever he plans out another robbery or crime. It was comparatively fitting, if he was to be honest.

When Hendery had made himself comfortable on his seat, Kun stood up. “I’ve heard entertaining news today.” He smiled. It would come off as a kind one if you were looking in the surface, but Hendery knew the depths of the edges of that smile.

Nevertheless, Hendery hasn’t been the one to be scared of anything. “Is it about me…” Hendery strays his eyes towards Xiaojun. “Punching someone?” The smile he casted after had completely set his comrade’s blood on fire.

Xiaojun jumped, attempting to attack Hendery once more. Kun gripped his arm in a firm hold. Xiaojun slouched back on the other chair, panting heavily.

“You’re fucking dead to me, Wong,” he spat.

Hendery leaned closer. “Bring it on.”

“Shut the fuck up, you both,” Kun sighed while massaging his temples. “Or just go ahead and get your guns, shoot each other in the head and be done with it.”

Tempting was the offer, but Hendery took it as a warning. However, it had been pretty effective. Hendery leaned back to his chair, hands dangling on his sides. “What’s the matter?”

Kun chuckleed. “You.” He licked his lips while pointing his finger at Hendery. “You’re really something else, aren’t you?”

“Well—” Hendery stumbleed and fell from the chair. That, he hadn’t seen coming. Kun had always been strong when it comes to boxing someone’s ears. Before Hendery could stand up, he spat blood on the cold floor.

Hendery wipeed his mouth with the back of his hand. It was his turn to chuckle. “I really am.”

Kun wrapped his hand around Hendery’s collar, then he slammed his back against the wall. Sight obscured because of of the hair falling down his eyelids, Hendery felt the blood flowing from the side of his mouth to his chin.

“Why did you do it?” Kun asked.

“What did I—” Hendery fell to the ground as his face met Kun’s fist. His vision blurs, causing him to blink languidly. Perhaps he heard Xiaojun’s laughters, or his sniggers, he wasn’t sure.

Hendery felt like a sack of cotton as Kun hurled him up with his back collar. His back was against the wall again. Now, he feels two warm liquid flowing from the sides of his mouth.

“Why did you do it?”

His mouth twisted in a leer. “None of your business.”

Hendery’s stomach caved in as Kun landed a punch to his guts. Air left his lungs for a moment, and he found it extremely hard to breathe. Hendery had always hated being punched in the stomach.

As he tried to catch his breath, he watched as Kun’s feet started to pace the space in front of him. Hendery continues to blink. Then Kun crouched.

“Who is she?”

She. Hendery stared at Kun. The years of them together flashed in his eyes like a projector in a wide white screen: the day he met his gang of bandits, his first time holding a gun, robbing a store, and shooting someone plays right in his eyes like a movie on repeat.

“None of you fuckers are going anywhere near her,” he stated in a voice so cold even the demon stared back at him in horror.

Kun was silent for a moment. Eyes hard staring at Hendery. Then he asked, “What the fuck is happening to you?”

Hendery realized that he had no answer to the question. But the thought of you, falling in danger feels like rotten food in his stomach. It made him want to retch.

Nobody had seen it coming, that was for sure. This feeling inside him— this wriggling feeling whenever he was with you. Whenever you smile at him. Whenever you tell him your dreams.

Hendery stood up and looked straight at Kun and then at Xiaojun. “Don’t fucking dare,” he warned before he pivoted on his heel.

Two steps away, Kun stated, “I’ll let you swim in your foolishness but don’t fuck this up, Hen. Remember why I sent you to the church.”

Hendery waved  his hand. “I remember.”

He’d gone straight to his own room and tended for his own wound. Hendery sat on his bed, meditating over his actions earlier.

For years he had been one of Kun’s best bandit. Ever since he met him under the bridge. Xiaojun landed his fist straight to his nose that day, too. And that had been all Hendery had known. To fight, to survive. Even if it means licking the edge of the knife.

The time Kun handed him a gun, Hendery knew his hands trembled. For that he missed his first aim. But as the days went by that all he’d ever held was a bullet, a magazine, and a gun, Hendery became as sharp as a pointed knife when it came to mowing down.

He stared at his calloused hand. The rough palms stares back at him, as if in insult. He’s lost count of the stores he’s robbed. Of the houses he’d stolen from. Of the individuals he pointed the barrel of the gun at. Is this what he has been born to do?

All he ever wanted was to meet his mother again. To hold that hateful woman in his arms. To tell her that her son survived and there has been an aching hole inside him ever since she disappeared without a trace.

Years of searching for nothing, Hendery thought he’s already turned every stone in this country upside down searching for his lost mother. And it all went in vain.

Hendery doesn’t know who to blame: the pandemic, his mother, or his own self?

You chewed on your bottom lip while walking the long road towards your home. The scene from the market, and the robbery that had taken place refused to leave your mind. You sigh, since those weren’t the only things trying to penetrate your brain. Hendery refused to leave, too.

Perhaps you should be thankful that he somewhat saved your money earlier. Bandits are heartless. The boy could’ve been carrying a pocket knife and Hendery would’ve been in grave danger. Yet he braved the possible risks and ran for the boy nonetheless. Worries aside, you cannot help but feel perturbed of the way the bandit called Hendery’s name.

Are they related? If yes, how?

Before entering your house, you straightened your back. Mother senses even a slip of your composure, and she’d never let you go unless you tell her what’s wrong.

You raised your fist to knock, then a familiar face greeted you when the door swung open suddenly. The bags you have been holding fell as you squealed and jumped to hug your father. “Father!” you exclaim.

He laughed as he wraps his arms around you. “My baby girl,” he chuckled.

“Dad!” you retorted, but laughed nonetheless. There is time for that endearment. “When did you arrive?” you asked as both of you pulled away.

“Earlier,” he saied as he muffled your hair. “I didn’t tell your mom, either.” As he said that, Mother occured from the kitchen with a spatula in hand.

“Time for dinner,” she announced with a smile.

Ah, that rare smile from her lips. Father was the only living thing who could pull up the edges of her mouth like that. It was refreshing to behold.

Father picked up the bags from the ground. “You carried all these by yourself?” he asked.

You automatically flustered. The image of Hendery carrying all you have bought earlier flashing back in your head without permission. “Y… yeah.”

It wasn’t as if they are illiberal when it comes to boys. But it was a topic you haven’t discussed with any of them yet.

“Hm, we really ought to buy a motorcycle, don’t you think?”

You turned to face him. “It would be convenie—”

“Who would drive? Me?” Mother interrupted. “Our daughter?”

Father placed the bags onto the kitchen counter. “Yes. Y/N is a fast-learner. She could defini—”

“I’m sorry but it is a no.” Mother smiled again, but there was an edge to it. “It is inappropriate for a lady to drive—”

“Who says?” you groaned. “It’s 2040, Mother.”

Mother crossed her arms over her chests. “And where would you go once you learn how to drive?”

You pursed your lips. Saying the word would only extend the argument. But it needs to be heard. “Perhaps then I could go to the city—”

“What?!” she exclaimed.

“... and study,” you finished.

Father cleared his throat. “That’s a good idea, actually.” He turned his head towards Mother. “Don’t you think?”

Mother made out an incredulous noise from her nose. “No, I don’t think so. The city is still contaminated with the virus and hedonism. There is no way I’m letting you—”

“Develop on my own?” you asked.

It had always been an argument: your dreams. And Mother always says no to every step you’d attempt to achieve them. You loved her dearly. But sometimes, you couldn’t help but feel a little annoyed of her decisions when it comes to your life. You were an adult— a capable adult. And yet you felt as if someone had clipped your wings before you could fly. It hurts to know that that someone was your own mother.

“Y/N!” she hissed, her eyebrows knitted together.

Father held up his hands. “There is no need for us to raise our voices. We can discuss this in peace,” he said.

But Mother wouldn’t back down. “There would be no discussion. I won’t allow it.” Then she turned on her back to finish preparing the food.

You looked down at the floor, eyes suddenly breaming with tears. This conversation had never failed to put you to misery.

“Cheer up,” Father whispered. “We’ll find a way.”

No. You will.

The next day, you couldn’t help but frown upon your reflection in the mirror. Same robes, same skirts, same hairstyle. There was nothing new.

You loved being a sacristan. You have devoted yourself in serving God and His Son, Jesus Christ. You have never missed a mass. It was a part of your life that won’t ever disappear. But duty and dream aren’t the same thing.

You have your duty to God, that you diligently and wholeheartedly accomplished for the last few years. But there was your dream, hanging like a blank canvas on the wall of your bedroom.

The village was your serenity. But the city holds everything that you have ever wanted.

Dare.

You harshly brushed your hair and fix your robe. The bones under your skin are unstoppable. You only have to dare. So with a deep intake of breath, you departed your bedroom, kissed both your parents’ cheek, and ran towards the Church. Where everything was going to happen.

Seeing Hendery casually sipping on his cigarette while leaning on the tree has put your rushing feet in a halt.

This boy. Always so alluring, always so mysterious, always so stubborn.

Hendery remained staring at the ground when you sauntered up to him. It would feel as if you were back on the day you first met him. When he exuded such obscurity that you found him irritatingly blurry yet interesting.

What happened yesterday still lingers in the back of your mind. Perhaps you should talk to him about it to quench  your interest. “Hey,” you greeted.

When he looked up, you covered your mouth with your hands in utter stupefaction. “What happened to you?!” you blurted out.

There were purple patches on the bone underneath his right eye and another on the side of his lips. Did the bandit get back to him yesterday? The thought made your stomach lurched.

“You look devastated,” Hendery commented.

You blinked. It was him who looked like an absolute wreck right now. How could he tell you that? “No. You are.”

“You are.” Hendery toucheed your chin to lift up your face. You let him. “See? It’s missing,” he said while staring at you.

His stare made you nervous. But you couldn’t look away. “What is?”

Hendery let his hand fall before he answers, “The fire in your eyes.”

The fire in your eyes. For the second time, you blink at him. You were a lover of poetry. Hearing this boy talk as if he had the verses of the universe in his tongue perhaps set your heart in a panic.

Sad eyes, bad guys, and a mouthful of verselet. You once thought someone like him won’t sweep you on your feet. Knowing that you were mistaken has left a bittersweet taste in your tongue. It was, indeed, beautiful to feel this way. This feeling you have for Hendery was a flower beginning to turn into a fruit. So fragile, yet so heavenly.

Would it be ready for the plucking?

You gulped. “Did the bandit get back to you yesterday?”

“This is nothing,” he said. “I found myself in a brawl yesternight. Nothing for you to worry about.”

You raised a brow. “I am not worried.”

That was his cue to laugh before puffing his cigarette again. “One hell of a heartless woman.”

“I am not heartless.”

Hendery looked affronted. “Really? Prove it, then.”

“Prove it?” You let out an incredulous sound. Then you crossed your arms over your chests. “How?”

“Admire me back.” He tossed his cigarette bud away. “Simple as that.”

Admire me back. You gaped at him, unable to form lucid words. What was that? Did he really ask you to admire him… back? “Is that…” you paused, “Is that a confession?”

Hendery placed the tip of his pointer finger against your forehead. Then he pushed lightly. However, he didn’t answer, he only walked past you. “You’re pretty unique,” he added. “I like your fire.”

“Wait!”

You ran for him. You have no idea what it was, but talking to Hendery has stirred the emotion you once felt earlier before leaving the house. The extreme drive to do something you haven’t done before and prove your mother that you are worthy of being left alone with your decisions.

Hendery turned to you. “What? Have you reciprocated my feelings alr—”

“Take me to the city,” you panted.

His smile grew wider. And the stars in his eyes shone, rivaling the blare of the sunlight above. “That’s better.”

viii. And His Kingdom would have no end…

A month ago, you would never have imagined yourself going out of the village. But here you wee, riding with a boy you only met four weeks ago, in his black and shiny motorcycle that was like a much safer version of a Harley. However, it didn’t lessen the agitation in your heart.

After years since you were born, this would be your first time to see the world beyond your village. You didn’t expect it to be beautiful. Since a global pandemic has swept through the continents twenty years ago. But you could say it was something you didn’t expect to behold either.

Copse of trees became a blur of brown and green as Hendery picks up the pace. There was nothing to see but the unending stretch of tall grasses and trees and the isolated road ahead. There weren’t even streetlights to guide you back later.

The wind slapped your face, with it the grimy feeling of running at 60 kilometers per/hour, and sniffing Hendery’s virile scent.

Hendery sure drives like the road was his and he’s alone in the world.

For this adventure, you refused to wear any helmet at all. It took minutes of disagreement, but Hendery had come in peace with it. If this was the first time you were riding towards the city— a place as strange to you as anything in the world— you wanted to caress it with your whole body. After all, this was an event more special than your own birthday.

As Hendery revved the engine faster, your grip on his torso tightened. Nonetheless, you bite your tongue to stop the squeal that was threatening to come out of your mouth. You will brave this ride. And there was nothing that would stop you from relishing this feeling.

All your trust and all your hopes of a safe travel were in Hendery’s hands today. And if you were to be honest, a sliver of doubt still flows in your veins. It has to be normal for a village girl to feel this way. Hendery could be infuriating at times, and he sure has this mysterious secret in his eyes, but he’s never done you anything hideous. Or perhaps you were only a naive girl, too blinded by ambitions and the overflowing courage in your heart, that you walked right into the devil’s trap.

You sent a silent prayer to God to guide you safely despite breaking the rules of your parents.

Slowly, the copse of trees became an expanse of water. Then you were traveling on a bridge, with a river below you. Busses, cars, and motorcycles alike run along the bridge, adding much to your adrenaline. You couldn’t remember the last time you have seen a bus. Perhaps it was when the students from the city took a trip to your village.

You turned your head to see the water. Few birds were flying as well as diving into the water to catch some fish. The wind coming from it was briny and sticky. But you loved it nonetheless.

Then the tall buildings loomed ahead, at the edge of the bridge. You cannot help but gape at it. How isolated have you become to marvel at tall buildings? Embarrassed as you were, you didn’t let it douse out your excitement.

Hendery slowed down as you meet the highway. On the pavements there walked the passersby. Some were hurrying, some were jogging with their dogs. Inside the coffee shops were lovers laughing while sipping on their drinks.

Despite the pandemic, the city felt alive. It thrummed with an energy you haven’t experienced before. It made you feel dizzy with excitement.

“It’s two p.m.,” Hendery stated before parking his motorcycle in a dead alley.

You hopped off. “Won’t you get in trouble parking here?” you asked, roaming your eyes around the two buildings covering the alleyway. In the village, there would be no problem parking your car wherever. But as far as you were concerned, city policies were different.

Hendery snickered. “Nobody would dare.”

By that, you raised a brow. “What do you mean?”

He sighed. “Nevermind.” Then he faced you with a smile. “Where do you wanna go?”

You deadpanned. “I’m not from here. You’re supposed to show me around.”

He feigned laughters. “Oh yes, I almost forgot. But—” Hendery raised his pointer finger as if in warning. “May I warn you that I’m not a ferris wheel type of guy.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I’m adrenaline embodiment.” Then he grabbed your shoulder softly and guided you towards the buzz of people.

As you walked with Hendery on the side streets, you looked up to the sky. It was gray but bright nonetheless. The type of weather wherein you wouldn’t know if it would rain or the clouds were only keeping the sun away.

Different honk of cars resonated everywhere, with the giggles of students as they walk home. There were teenagers sitting on the narrow alleyway, their clothes black and their pants ripped. You regarded them with narrowed brows. Then the two teenagers kissed.

“Oh,” you gasped as you cover your eyes. It felt private, albeit the fact that they were kissing in a public place.

Hendery chuckled. “That’s like, level 0.1 of the things that happens there.”

Before you could ask him what did he mean for the nth time that day, Hendery held your hand and tugged you. “See that sign up there?”

He stood extremely close to yours. Strands of his hair flew towards the sides of your face. You gulped before following his pointer finger with your eyes. He was pointing at the sign across the street. It was surrounded by different types of people, but students dominated the whole entrance. Above their heads was a huge sign board that says ‘Wonderland’.

“Yeah.” You nodded your head. “What is it about?”

“It’s a circus,” Hendery said as he turned to look at your face, “Last to arrive pays for the tickets. Deal?”

“Wha— wait! That’s not fair!” you shouted when he bolts away.

Hendery took a look at you while laughing. His hair obscuring his eyes. “Run!”

You exhaled sharply before gathering your skirts and running towards him. As your shoulders slammed to different bodies, you shout apologies on your wake. If this was a normal day, you would have to stopped and say your apologies with a bow. But this wasn’t a normal day. And Hendery didn’t even bother to stop even if he had to push students out of his way.

However, he drew in a halt as a little girl suddenly appears from a boutique. Hendery was still ahead of you by five steps, but because of the circumstances, you tapped his shoulder and run past him.

At last, it was time for you to cross the streets. The streetlight says red. You muttered, “Green, green, gree—”

“Didn’t take you for a… runner,” Hendery breathed with his hands on the sides of his waists as he stood beside you.

You ignored him. Then the lights went green. You stormed away from him, dodging the elders crossing the street. Hendery laughed behind you. And he was extremely close.

With one last force of a leg, you jumped the one meter distance from the pavement to the entrance line of the circus. “I won!” you shouted in triumph.

Hendery shook his head, disbelief visible in his face. “This is unbelievable,” he muttered.

“A ticket for two,” you taunted, displaying two fingers in front of him. “The deal is the deal.”

Hendery sighed and fished for his pocket. Perspiration trickled down your back as you follow Hendery towards the ticket booth. After he received the tickets, he handed you his kerchief. “For your sweat.”

You immediately raised your hands. “Oh, no! It’s okay!”

Hendery tilted his head to the side. “You are sweltering like a waterfall. Here, let me,” he said before pulling you and patting the kerchief to your forehead.

You looked away blinking, unable to form words as you felt the fabric pressing softly on your skin. As if you were a thin, breakable glass he feared that might break if he wasn’t careful. “Thanks,” you whispered when Hendery finally folded back the kerchief to his back pockets.

Both of you turned and faced the entrance of the circus.

The door opened, revealing two little person wearing brightly colored jumpers. Their faces were made up to copy the image of a clown. Both of their heads look up, then they scrunched their noses, clearly irritated of a customer.

“Come in,” they blabbered in unison.

You looked at Hendery. He had that same smile on his face when he walked through the turnstile.

The hallway that displayed itself in front of you were made of corrugated roof ceiling and walls. You felt as if you were in a box.

Different posters of performers adorned the corrugated roof walls. There is the two little person, on their jumpsuits, balancing themselves on a large ball. At your right side, there is the image of a mermaid. Of course, circus such as this one would have a fake mermaid. Then there is an image of a man playing with fire.

You cannot help but stare in awe. You have a knowledge of circuses since you have read books and watched movies to have a distinct image of it in your mind. However, you haven’t really experienced one.

Hendery walked beside you, not bothering to see the posters plastered on the wall. That gave you a hint that maybe he has been in Wonderland already. He was born here in the city after all.

“How many times have you been here?” you decided to ask, voice echoing through the hallway.

“Too many times to count.”

The two little person opened another door. You gaped in astonishment as you take in the picture of the whole circus. Lambent lights hung in different trees, giving the whole area a soft glow.

There wre families resting under the trees and students hopping to different food carts to another. It was a whole new world in the middle of the city. And it was so lively that you feel the energy thrumming in your veins.

Hendery stared. Not at the circus, but at you. Pure amazement adorned your face. And perhaps your eyes twinkled brighter than the lights, too. Hendery couldn’t help but smile. It was somewhat fulfilling taking in your expression. He took you for a woman difficult to impress. Yet he was mistaken. There was that glow in you that he hasn’t seen before in anyone else’s eyes.

And for the first time in twenty years, Hendery has seen the rainbow he was waiting for. It wasn’t in the end of the pandemic. It’s in you.

When you craned your neck to look at him, Hendery blinked and looked away, his heart thudding madly inside his chest.

He couldn’t believe it. This feeling. For someone as sinful as him, Hendery had never expected to feel this type of… fondness.

“I thought you weren’t a ‘ferris wheel’ guy?” You lifted a brow while quoting the air.

The ferris wheel was located at the very corner of the circus’ vicinity. As if on cue, Hendery’s childhood memories weaved their way back to his mind. The laughters of his father and his own giggles whenever they would ride the said ferris wheel.

After seconds of being taciturn, Hendery answered, “I’m not.”

“Really?” you teased. “You needn’t deny it!”

Hendery placed a hand above your head and ruffled your hair. “Come, I’ll show you around.” Then he stretched his hand to you.

Clearly flustered, you stared at his outstretched hand for a minute. You wrapped your hand with his. Taking his hand felt as if a manifold of experiences in itself, but it was thrilling nonetheless.

Both of you entered the tent where the mermaid perfoms. Of course, she was fake. But the craftmanship of her tail almost made you doubt your own eyes. It was simply marvelous.

Next that you visited was the fire-breathing man. The thing was, he was extremely talented and… cute. However, when you mentioned it to Hendery, his amazement deterred and he pulled you out of the tent.

Now you stood in front of a food cart, trying to pick between corndog or fries. You chose fries with lemon iced-tea. Hendery preferred the former.

“We need to go home,” you said while looking up at the sky. There wasn’t any brightness in the heavens any more, only darkness. The stars were hidden in the clouds, which give an ominous sign that it might rain.

And you couldn’t afford to rain. Your mother would go nuts. But then you thought how you have already defied her. Might as well enjoy the night, right? You heaved a sigh. No. You have to go home.

“Yes,” Hendery sighed. He was looking at the heavens, too.

Contemplative of the adventure you have experienced today, you looked at Hendery. Four weeks ago, you have resented his presence in the church because of your own preconceptions. But if this boy beside you didn’t arrive, you wouldn’t have the courage to defy your mother and finally go to the city.

In spite of everything, the saying proves true— that someone could go rebellious if ensnared for a long time. Yes, it was not pleasant to flout parents, but this freedom… you almost felt like a bird with its wings spread wider.

Hendery shifted, then he turned to face you. “Just one last destination.” He spoke the word with a certain anticipation. How could you deny him the chance?

Then you departed the circus.

“Is this safe?” you asked Hendery while you climbed the stairs of an unknown building near the alleyway where he parked his motorcycle.

“Yeah,” Hendery hummed. “This seems empty but trust me, this could be a party place.”

When he said that, you noticed the littered cigarettes in the corners. There were candy wrappers… and some rubber that you had no name for.

“This place is creepy,” you announce when you reach the last set of stairs.

Hendery’s laugh echoed through the empty place. “It’s not,” he said before pushing open a door that leads somewhere.

“A rooftop,” you stated as a-matter-of-factly. Your boots made a clocking noise against the pavement as you walk towards the railings. You stared in awe as different lights from the stores below twinkled like fireflies.

The darkness intensified the colors of everything. The city wasn’t perfect, but was beautiful at this time of the day. With the wind softly nuzzling your face, you breathed a sigh of relief at everything.

“This is beautiful,” you said in utter adoration.

Hendery leaned and grabbed the railings. His floppy hair dancing with the wind, once again falling down his eyelids. “It is,” he breathed.

At the horizon, some far away land stared at you, probably wondering of your unfamiliar face, too. There were mountains and there were also lights flickering from it. The sky was a darker shade of magenta turning black. It’s a pity that there were no stars to grace the heavens.

“Thank you, Hendery,” you whispered.

Hendery looked at you, a smile adorning his lips. “For you.”

Your shoulders brushed against each other, sending your heart into a marathon again. Then you sighed a heartful one. “I want to live here.”

“Really? This was only a façade, though. Bad things crawls out in this city.”

Bad things. There were bad things all around the world, though. “In the village, too,” you muttered, “Bandits. Everywhere.”

“Yeah. Bandits,” he repeated with the same contemptuous voice.

“What do you like most about this city?” you decided to ask. He’s from here. And he won’t stay if he doesn’t find anything beautiful here, right?

Hendery’s eyes were looking at the horizon while he answered, “My…” Then you notice the curvature of his throat as he gulped. “The memories of my family.”

Something inside you insisted to ask him further. So you opened your mouth to speak. “Where are they?”

Hendery displayed a painful smile before a chuckle resonated through him. “My dad died because of the pandemic, and my mom… she’s missing.”

You tasted something bitter in your mouth by the revelation. You shouldn’t have asked. Then you placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“No, it’s okay.” The boy tried to smile when he looked at you. But an old pain still sparked in his eyes.

People tend to say it’s okay even when it’s not. You supposed it’s one of the ways for them to cope. Instead of forcing Hendery, you tried to smile for him, too.

“And your mother.” You cleared your throat. “Just ask me if you need any help.”

“Thank yo—” Hendery’s words were interrupted by the large pitter patters of the rain.

You gasped and shielded your head. Hendery does the same. Then the both of you run towards the building. The ravaging of the rainfall could be heard against the ceilings. It was the sound that pierces the ears. And you were afraid that it’s not going to stop any sooner.

“We have to go home,” you said while biting your nail.

“We can’t,” Hendery pronounced with a shrug.

You sighed deeply, forcing your knees to stand still. “My mother would kill me.”

Even though there was absolute dread to the words, you couldn’t feel any regret. You would’ve done it all over again if given the chance.

“You can call her,” Hendery suggested. “There’s a payphone down the next block.”

She would go absolutely unhinged once she knew about your whereabouts. But you have to at least tell her. Or lie about it. There was no other choice.

You mentally memorized your mother’s cellphone number. She has one, to contact father whenever he’s away. But she barely uses it.

“Let’s go,” you said.

While descending the stairs of the abandoned building, you thought about ways on how to dodge your mother’s possible questions. Lying has left a burning sensation in your chests. But it was the only way. And if it would somehow save you from the doom of being whip to shreds, you’d gladly do it.

Hendery offers you his leather jacket to use as an umbrella. You would have refused, but the rain was falling heavily. You cover your head before running.

When you reached the payphone, Hendery was drenched from head to toe. Due to some miracle that you couldn’t describe yourself, your corsage remained dry.

You delved for a coin inside your pockets and slid it with shaky fingers. Trying to squeeze himself inside the payphone, Hendery stoof mere inches away from you. Your chests too close to each other. Flustered, you focused on the phone still ringing against your ear instead of your bodies’ proximity.

You heard the click of the phone from the other line then the sound of your mother’s voice. “Hello?” she answered.

Running a damp hand through your hair, you gulped and said, “Mom, it’s Y/N.”

“Y/N?” You could see her eyebrow raising in your mind. And that made you even more agitated. Mother wasn’t easily convinced. You would need to slid through a needle’s hole if you ever wish to successfully lie to her.

“Yes, Mom. I’m here— at—” You bit your thumbnail as you realize that you cannot truly deceive her.

“Where are you?” she asked, “Why is it so loud in there?”

Shoot. The harsh sound of the rain was, of course, loud. And it probably wasn’t raining that hard to the village or not at all. You needed to think.

“Mom— I— I have an errand to run for Father Ben,” you lied. “And… well… I am in the market. And—” You take a deep breath. “I don’t think I would be able to come home tonight—”

“What?” she said with a voice louder than the rain. “What errand? And why aren’t you coming home?”

“Mother, it’s strictly confidential!” You added just enough panic to your voice to make your deceit more convincing. “And Father Ben told me not to tell anyone—”

“Well, I am your mother so I deserve—”

“Hello? Mother? Mom? I can’t hear you!”

“Y/N—”

“Alright, Mother. I’ll take care! I’ll see you tomorrow!”

You dropped the phone immediately, not letting your mother say a word any more. Drawing ragged breaths, you let your back rest on the cold glass encasing the payphone. Then a laughter seized your attention. It was Hendery.

Baffled, you raised a brow. “What’s funny?” you asked, but you had a feeling that you know the answer to your own question. He found it amusing, your panicked conversation with your mother.

Hendery tried to shrug despite his laughter. “I just find it amusing,” he says as his glee receded. You glared at him, but the boy only pointed his finger right in front of your nose. “Now, quit being so strung up.”

“I am not,” your affronted reply. But he was right, your stomach was still tied in knots after the conversation. It was as if your mother would appear in front of you out of nowhere.

You looked at your surroundings. The buildings still towers over you. The road was drenched with rainwater and it didn’t seem to stop any time soon.

“Where do we sleep?” you asked Hendery, embarassed of the realization that you have no idea about the city and where you were supposed to sleep now that you were stuck in an unfamiliar place.

“‘We’?” he teased, “That sounds nice—”

“Hendery!” You hit his arm lightly, eliciting yet another fits of laughter from him.

“I know some place,” he said, “Don’t worry.”

You shrugged. “Well, aside from the fact that I wasn’t from here... and it’s my first time venturing to the city— yeah,” you sighed, “I really shouldn’t worry.”

He seemed not to sense the sarcasm lying within your words for he placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “You’ve got me. I won’t let anyone harm you, alright?”

Ah, the vulnerability in a rather cold façade. It’s marvelous to behold. You couldn’t help but smile. Romance books were true, after all. Once an aloof boy shows some affection, it really feels like lying in a field of cotton.

“You have to promise,” you said. Hendery opened his mouth to speak his oath, but you offered him your pinky finger instead. “Lock it.”

Hendery stared at your hand for a good minute before exhaling a ruminative sigh. Then he placed his pinky finger against yours. The both of you entwined your finger in a lock.

“Ah,” he sighsd at the sight of your coiled fingers, “You really are something else.”

If he was talking about the pinkies, you weren’t so sure how did he consider it something else. It was probably childish, yes, but on other spectrum of things, children rarely lies. That somehow strengthened his promise; the childishness yet purity of it all.

“Yes,” you said, a bit proud of the compliment, “I really am.”

You were in an unknown place, hugging the torso of a boy as you rode with him on his motorcycle. The lights of the cars the only lambency there is in an isolated road.

It should bother you— this unfamiliarity clinging in your bones. But all you could feel was the burning sensation of thrill as it flows in your veins; this strange freedom.

The night was a cacophony of rainwater splashing to everything it touches. With your body pressed against Hendery’s back, both of you braved the unforgiving rain. It was surely the night that would go down to your own history.

“Where are we going?” you asked, giving way too little acknowledgement to your soaked clothes and clattering teeth.

A new empty alleyway greeted you as Hendery turned left with his engine the only noise in the dead of the night. White street lights flicker as he slows down, then you come to a halt in front of an empty gasoline station.

Irradiant glow of pink and orange LED lights adorned the signage plastered above the store. At the sides of the vicinity, rows of motel rooms could be seen. Hendery killed the engine, then both of you hop off his motorcycle.

“Wait! I... I don’t have the money—” you tried to argue, but the boy only flashes you his most beautiful smile.

Still smiling, Hendery held your hand and you both ran to the columns of motel rooms. He roamed his eyes everywhere. When he saw no one, Hendery tugged you softly towards the stairs up to the second floor.

Now, there was no light adorning the second floor of the motel. But the glow of the moonlight casted its illumination towards the place, making a slanted shadow on the walls.

“How do we—”

Hendery turned to you and quickly placed a finger to your lips. “Shh,” he shushed.

There was something about the glint in his eyes that made you agitated and even excited. If both were possible to feel at the same time. Mischief oozes its way out of his body as Hendery pulls a piece of a metallic wire from his pockets. He, then, curled the wire with his fingers. Once done, Hendery inserted the wire to the doorknob.

“Hend—”

For the third time, he cut you off. “Trust me.”

In his eyes, something stirred. You caught a glint of it because of the moon. Hendery knows what he was doing, and it looks as if he’s done this a million times already.

You pressed your mouth in a thin line. Rubbing your hands against the skin of your arms, you look around while Hendery works his wonders to the door.

505, that was the number plastered above the doorframe. The room number.

Within a few minutes, there was a click. Then the door opened in front of you to reveal a typical motel room.

There was a bed near the blinds, then a bedside table. A 1960’s model of RCA television sat at the edge of the mattress, with a single ottoman beside it. The room had also been illuminated by a single deep yellow bulb.

It was 2040. Whatever remnants of 2020 remains, it doesn’t look like this. Motel rooms were a thing eighty years ago. However, you couldn’t complain. You have been wanting to sleep in a room such as this one. People can call you hopeless romantic, but that was the truth. There was a certain vintage love surrounding motel rooms which you yearned to experience yourself.

You looked at Hendery, who was currently standing beside you with a rascal grin on his lips. He was definitely proud of what he did. Notwithstanding of the circumstances, and of the fact that you have just sneaked into a private property, you couldn’t help but grin yourself.

This was way out of the rules of being a sacristan. And you would get a whole mass worth of scolding if Father Ben knew about your adventures today. Despite all of that, you couldn’t help but feel a swell of happiness and pride in doing what you did today.

“I assume this isn’t paid?” You raised a brow.

Hendery shook his head with a small chuckle. “Obviously.”

“Aren’t we gonna get in trouble doing all... this?” you asked him, voice laced with skepticism. Bold as you were, the thought of going behind bars in an unknown place still gives your heart a little bit of a jolt.

“We’re already in trouble,” Hendery said  nonchalantly, “Might as well enjoy it.” He placed his hand on your shoulders as he searched for your eyes. “Besides, this doesn’t happen all the time.”

You stared at the depths of his orbs. There seemed to be a permanent mark of roguishness dancing in his eyes that you only notice now.

What devilment in an angelic face. Bemusing as it was, you loved it. This Hendery.

“To me,” you said, “But you’re from here. And from

the looks of it, you’ve done this a million times before.”

Hendery’s shoulder shook from his laughter. He laughed so much for someone with sad eyes. “Yes. I won’t deny it. But this isn’t for me, though. This adventure is for you.”

It’s funny how a stranger could give you all you have ever wanted in a single day. By that alone, you knew that you would forever be grateful of this boy in front of you.

“Thank you,” you whispered, “So much, Hendery.”

You didn’t know what it was, but Hendery lost his composure as his mouth gaped open a little bit. The sincerity of your voice moved him and made his knees weak.

This has been the first time he heard the words from someone. All he had known were the frightened prayers every time he would point a gun to someone, the muffled cries, the tear stained cheeks. It’s his first time to see sincerity to someone else’s eyes that was meant for him.

Perhaps you have seen it, too— the perplexity in his expression, the slight glitch of his demeanor. And it made your heart happy to see that you have affected him as much as he has affected you.

Hendery leaned closer, his face utterly close that you could make up your reflection in his eyes by the dim light of the light bulb.

He gulped, you did too.

It would deem as if no one amongst you had the experience of this... intimacy. No one had come close to your defenses but him. It rattled your bones underneath. And perhaps the world stilled when your lips met his.

It’s exactly like those in a romantic movie. It wasn’f rash, it wasn’t blistery. It’s soft... it’s heavenly. The kiss would compare to cotton touching another cotton. Both of your eyes were still open as you tried to savor the kiss. You were still thunderstruck beyond comprehension, but your lips were glued to his and there seemed no turning back. Not that you’d like too, anyways.

Hendery cupped your cheeks with his hands and pressed his lips against yours. You closed your eyes. In the blink of a moment, the kiss went wild. Now you would compare it to a sea under a storm. Raging and unforgivable.

You hadn’t noticed how your back had come into contact with the bed. But the surprisingly soft mattress hugged your back as Hendery lays you down slowly.

Your heart had its own business thudding harmoniously wild inside your chest with the kiss.

Hendery pulled away. You felt your plump lips and his had been red, too. With a second of eye contact, Hendery leaned and kissed you again. With the same fervor, with the same hunger.

Your hand shot up to his hair. The sound of someone kissing and your attempts to catch your breaths against the kiss, the only thing that could be heard inside 505.

His hands started to roam your body. His touches were like that of devotees; careful, with little prayers in every friction.

Lips a mere inch from each other, Hendery whispered with a raspy tone. “May I?”

You were here, and you were ready to do whatever this kissing ends up to. So you nodded.

He smiled while the moonlight caressed half of his face.

Then he brought his fingers to the laces of your corsages. With deft motion of a hand, Hendery pulled, the laces had come free, opening your collar bones and upper chests for him to see. The reveal of the skin made your breath hitch.

Hendery brought his fingers to the open skin, then he trailed— slowly, oh so slowly— downwards. As if your skin was Braille.

He kissed you. He whispered his confession in your ears. He touched you like he longed for you. He cried your name in a euphoric bliss.

That night, you weren’t a sacristan. You were a saint. Worshipped by a boy with the devil in his eyes.

But nobody— not even the moonlight slipping through the windows — told you about the doom that awaits your blooming love.

It was past four in the morning when you wake up. The room was dark, with the heavy light from the skies illuminating the floors through the blinds.

Hendery lied on the bed beside you. The light casted parallel lines on his bare chests and stomach. While you laid on your side, your hands between your thighs and a smile on your lips.

Hendery leaned to trace your shoulder up to your cheek, sending goosebumps down your back. Then he whispered the words, “You’re so beautiful.”

You would’ve hit him with a jest, but your breath seems to clogged in your throat. Pure words for someone with jagged edges. Then you suddenly noticed his tattoo. You still didn’t know what that meant. So you reached out your hand and traced his skin.

“What does your tattoo means?” You asked him.

Hendery held your hand that was tracing his tattoo when he answered. “Survive. To live.”

ix. I believe in the Holy Spirit...

“You really don’t have to, Hendery,” you timidly stated.

Hendery sighed, but his smile never disappeared. “You know I won’t let you go, right?”

It’s six a.m., the both of you have already finished donning your clothes. Some parts of the fabrics were still sodden, but nevertheless wearable. You picked up a lone thread from your skirt before standing up and facing the window. The dream was finished, and you needed to wake up now.

A sigh went past your lips as you stared at the horizon displayed before your eyes. You weren’t sure when you would experience this kind of freedom again, so it was better to seize the remaining moments of not being trapped into a cage that was your own house by taking in the view of a small part of the city.

Hendery stood beside you, his eyes far away. “How do you feel?” he asked.

A sudden heat crept up in your cheeks by the question. The unbidden imagery of last night threaded its way back in your mind. Did you regret doing it with Hendery? Not one bit. Some might call you stupid for falling in a love supported by unspoken promises and confessions, but the union with Hendery have made you feel whole somehow. Like you were in the skies, and the stars were about your reach.

He made you feel powerful. He made you feel worthy of devotion. He made you feel utterly you. No inhibitions, no pretense.

The honesty slid smoothly from your lips. “I feel incredible,” you answered. You turned sideways to face him. Hendery’s face was ethereal in the night, especially when his lips were parted, sweats trickling down his face. But as the early light of the morning hit his features, you couldn’t believe that he could even be this more beautiful.

“How about you?” you managed to ask.

A chuckle. Your heart made the familiar jump at the sound. “I’ve never felt this happy for years.” And it was the truth. Hendery thought that the money and power a banditry offers would give completion in his life somehow, that it would serve as stitches for his tattered life. But as he recalled everything that has happened since he met you, he might be stupid, but he knew real happiness when it’s staring back at him in the wee hours of the morning.

He would’ve bottled the sound of your pleas and your cries if he would, he would’ve kept your laughters in a treasure chest buried someplace else he only knew, he would’ve given you everything and anything— and perhaps he did— if he could. As he stared at your face, so goddamned innocent and peaceful, Hendery knew one thing: you would break him into pieces, and he would let you.

A smile painted your lips, erasing the agitation of what this new day would bring. “I wouldn’t have experienced all of this if not for you,” you told him.

Hendery laughed. “You wouldn’t have experienced all of this if you didn’t dare.”

That was him: the beam that was supporting your life. He’s never failed to make you feel as if you could do everything despite the odds.

Your smile widened. “But now we have to go back.”

“Yeah, unfortunately—” Hendery’s words were cut off by the sound of the bedroom door clicking.

Your eyes widened, but he kept a cool façade. Then it swung open, revealing a middle-aged man carrying a broomstick and a dustpan. His forehead creased as he saw you standing near the window, then realization hit him. “Who are you?!” he shouted.

Hendery gripped your hand, then he dashed for the door, pulling you behind him. The helper was too dumbstruck to even say a thing again, let alone stop you from sprinting away. Hendery was laughing all the way down the stairs, while your forehead was coated with little beads of sweat.

When you reached his motorcycle, Hendery let go of your clammy hand. “That was... incredible!” he gleefully stated.

You tried to catch your breath by gulping large bouts of air. “That was scary!” you told him after steadying your breath.

Hendery fished for his keys from the back pocket of his jeans while still laughing. “Sacristan girls,”

he muttered teasingly.

Rolling your eyes heavenwards, you crossed your arms over your chests. “You don’t have to be a sacristan to know what’s scary or not.”

Once again, the roar of the innkeeper echoed across the gasoline station, bringing you on a hurry to climb Hendery’s motorcycle. With a chuckle, he ignited the engine and revved through the day.

The city was deserted early in the morning. And it was undeniably dull. The paint from different buildings were chipped, and they could really use a renovation. You were baffled at how you didn’t notice the dullness yesterday. Perhaps it was your excitement getting the best of you. Humdrum as it was, this city would forever hold a special place in your heart, along with the man you have traveled here with.

The ride back home was enveloped in utter silence, not that you could hear each other over the loud blare of the motorcycle’s engine. And as you neared to the village, your heart couldn’t help but thud abnormally inside your chests. You felt as if your throat was constricting, air passage clogging. It would deem as if there was an apocalypse waiting for you back home.

No. You have to trust your intuitions, no matter how indistinguishable it was. Your mother knew you were safe, there wasn’t anything to fret about.

But you knew better than to calm down. Your father was a lot easier to convince than your mother, you let your heart loosen up by that fact, even just a little bit.

With the empty and bumpy road ahead of you, the familiar stillness of the village welcomed you back home. A sense of familiarity splashed on you at the sight of tall trees and green meadows. This has been what you have known all your life, you were coming back to it after a night of pretermitting.

“Stop right there,” you said in a voice so low even you had a hard time hearing the words.

Hendery knew that you would never allow him to be seen in the village, much worse with you. But after last night, a slight stab in his heart bloomed at the thought of you, not being able to introduce him to your parents just because he rides a shiny-black motorcycle.

And as if you heard his thoughts, you cleared your throat before Hendery could kill the engine on the side road. “Or... you could take me home.”

It was stupid. Imbecilic. A voice inside your head whispered that it was a bad idea, but upon seeing how Hendery’s lips turned to a smile by looking at the side mirror, all your fear had been vanquished. Suddenly, you were ready to face the world again.

Your grip on his shirt tightened as you entered the village. It was mid-morning. There were a few elders fanning themselves in their verandas under the blistering weather. They squinted at the sight of you, a sudden contempt in their lips which they conveyed as a frown.

“Turn left,” you mumbled, praying that he heard you just right.

By the silence that was unusual of Hendery to exude, you have contemplated that maybe he was nervous, too. The thought made you slightly giddy and anxious at the same time. You have never brought a man home. Not even introduce a boy friend to your parents. Just when you thought that last night would be a history of your own, this morning has proved you wrong.

Your stomach was empty, but you felt like retching in the bushes as Hendery stopped the engine in front of your house. Mother was tending to her flowers when you hopped off the motorcycle. Father was nowhere to be found.

You looked at Hendery before sauntering towards your mother. The rustle of your feet against the grasses garnered her attention. She looked up to see you, then to the boy beside you.

You walked up towards her to kiss her cheek. Mother stood still as your lips made a friction against her skin. She was looking straight at Hendery, who had a polite smile on his face.

You cleared your throat. “Mother, this is Hendery.”

Hendery stretched out his hand to your mother. “Hendery Wong, pleased to meet you.”

Mother stared at his outstretched hand for seconds. Your knees started to wobble. Then Mother took Hendery’s hand. “I’ll prepare the food,” she said, the tone unfathomable.

When she attempted to leave, Hendery quickly raised his arms as if to stop your mother. “It’s fine, Mrs. I just dropped Y/N off.” He looked at you and nodded his head. “See you at the Church, Y/N,” he said.

Your lips coiled in a frown. The atmosphere was thick, and there was no doubt Hendery felt it. Your mother could’ve been warmer in greeting him, but you knew better than anyone else than to force the time when it obviously wasn’t ready.

With a tone of both reluctance and slight disappointment, you mumbled, “See you.”

He nodded one last time before turning his back and getting on his motorcycle.

The same time Hendery revved the engine once more, your father went out of the house with a glass of cold water in hand. “What’s that about?” he asked.

The garden shovel your mother was holding was dropped as she focused her attention towards you. You braced yourself for the imminent storm that was coming. And there it was, in a voice so loud even the houses nearby grew hairs and got goosebumps, your mother cried out, “What on earth are you thinking?!”

Father sipped on his water, his brows arching above the rim. There was no accusation in his eyes, only interest and confusion.

“What do you mean, Mother?” You tried to make your voice sound strong, but it came out as a breathy question.

“What do I mean?!” she roared. “Where were you last night? Tell me the truth.”

Truth be spoken, you were utterly rebellious to neglect your mother last night. But the wanting to experience something greater for once has overcome all your senses. Was it really abhorrent to experience such freedom?

You could feel your veins popping up your temple. Your breath was becoming ragged. And the stubbornness that was trying to envelope you didn’t help. It felt like a bomb ready to explode at any given moment.

“Where have you been—”

“The city!” you screamed back. “I went to the city with Hendery!”

Mother looked at you with a tormented face. From the way her mouth hung open with her eyes almost bulging out of their sockets, you could tell that she’s beyond horrified by the revelation.

“How dare you?” she whispered, “How dare you lie to me?”

Father was on her side instantly, laying a gentle hand on her back. “We all need to calm down—”

“Calm down?!” Mother turned to face him. “You’d expect me to calm down when my own daughter defied me?”

You bit your lower lip. What was the big deal? What the fuss was all about? It wasn’t as if you didn’t come home. Here you were, safe and sound.

“I’m sure Y/N could explain herself, right?” Father raised an encouraging brow at you. His lack of judgement pierced your heart with a throb.

“Yeah,” Mother said with enough scorn to make you recoil. “Let her narrate everything!”

You tried to catch your breath before forcing your face to look up to your parents. “What’s so wrong about going to the city?”

“Oh, you are one naive girl,” Mother stated as she made noises in her nose. “You could’ve been infected! You could’ve  brought danger into this home!”

“Mother!” you hissed. “The pandemic has already disappeared! I want to live a normal life now!”

Mother looked at you as if you weren’t her daughter but a mere stranger she’s picked a fight with. “Why are you so foolish and stubborn?”

“Why can’t you let me live my life?” you retorted.

“That’s enough,” Father warned with a commanding tone. His jaw was pulled taut. One more push and the three of you would burn right where you stood because of vexation.

Mother heed no warning for she continued to look at you as if she was contemplating to push you back to her womb. “I’m keeping you safe.”

“Safe?” You could almost laugh. “I don’t want safe.” I want freedom. I want danger. I want the sin. I want the rush.

“That’s enough talking back, Y/N. Return to your room and change,” Father commanded.

Mother’s lips were compressed in a tight line. You’ve expected her to say something, but no words were heard from her as Father guided her back to the house.

You were left alone in the garden, with your neighbors peeking at their fences to catch gossips.

You wish this world had been a little bit forgiving, a little bit welcoming for boys like him. He wasn’t cruel. He was kind... he was protective. And he was a tether to the dreams that you tried so hard to achieve. Without Hendery— the only person who believed that you were meant for greater things— you wouldn’t know what to make of your life anymore. Sure, you would get back on your feet. But you would never want to feel alone in the battle again. You didn’t want to start empty again. And you would never wish to be parted from Hendery. Ever.

x. The Holy Catholic Church…

“Oh, look who’s finally arrived,” Kun uttered with a shit-eating grin as Hendery appeared in the abandoned building Kun made a rendezvous in the outskirts of the town.

For weeks, they stayed and made their camp here. With Kun occupying the last and only good-conditioned room in the building. There, he’s beaten by Hendery for apparently mowing down Xiaojun’s jaw.

The grin Kun had on his face intrigued Hendery, but he wouldn’t let it show on his face. With inquisition was an annoyance Hendery didn’t know where he came from. It was just there, crawling on his skin. Perhaps it was his encounter with your mother, and the lack of warmth in her welcome.

But could he blame her? Not one bit. Hendery didn’t even think of meeting someone else’s parents and being introduced as a lover, but after getting chummy with you, his aspirations in life went a little higher than what he deserved. Hendery knew that it was a bad thing to be zealous, but that was what he had known after joining Kun’s banditry.

“What’s going on?” he asked, albeit not having the heart to inquire in the first place.

After a day and night with you, Hendery yearned for one thing: sleep. He just couldn’t close his eyes when you were lying on his side, with your peaceful face and soft snores. Hendery wanted to capture every moment, to memorize each line of your face, to be drowned in the serenity of the night.

His other comrades were nowhere to be found which was new. At this time of the day, all of them needed to report their sleuthing of a certain area assigned to them. Kun wanted to know everything.

Kun’s grin only widened. “How’s your job, Hen?”

Hendery ran a hand through his hair. “I’m still trying to make my way onto the priest’s chamber.”

Kun sat up on the swivel chair and placed his feet on the table laid before him. “If I’m not mistaken,” he started, “It’s been months since I sent you to the Church. And until now, you still don’t have anything useful to tell me.”

Hendery’s jaw twitched. He hated how he’s inclined to answer every Kun’s calls. And he had never felt this way before towards his work, that was if you could call banditry a job. He was always the best. That made him Kun’s favorite. But that was before he met you.

Meeting you really had changed most of his beliefs about life. He’s almost convinced to let go of his wretched ways and have a normal way of living— a life he could be proud of. And a life with you.

“Father Ben’s strict,” Hendery lied. The priest was as kind as a deer. If Hendery wished to enter his chamber, he’d gladly let him out of his trusting nature. And that would be the end as well as the start of everything. Hendery still wasn’t prepared to drop the new life he has, because that would mean he has to let you go, too. The mere thought made his stomach recoil.

“Strict?” Kun asked as he raised a playful brow. “But you’re my best asset, Hen. There is no ‘strict’ when it comes to you.”

If these were normal times, Hendery would’ve smirked by the compliment. But he knew what Kun meant. And he’s heard the warning even if it was unspoken.

Months ago, Hendery and Sicheng started searching for places to rob in the isolated villages near the local market. Until they had come across the Church. Upon their nightly visit and hawkshawing, Hendery found out that Father Ben has a golden necklace. The thing has become their target ever since. However, you wouldn’t see Father Ben taking the necklace off. Hendery won’t be able to steal it without violence.

He would’ve finished the work sooner than intended. Besides, he knew brutality like the back of his hand. It had become his armor through the years. And Father Ben didn’t hold a special place in his life, no matter how nonjudgmental the priest was. He could easily wrench the necklace away from his neck without any remorse. But he feared you.

The thought of failing you, of disappointing you, and of showing Hendery’s true colors to you has left his courage dwindling.

What cowardice. He would’ve punched himself unconscious if he could. Hendery wasn’t familiar to this kind of weakness, and he didn’t know how to deal with it.

Hendery shifted on his seat, shaking off the tension from his body. “The priest was surprisingly guarded,” he lied once more. Father Ben was as permeable as the Church itself. It was Hendery’s own choices that the work has slowed down.

Kun hummed. He withdrew something from his drawers. Picture, Hendery noticed, but he was too tired to even think about its connection to the current discussion. “Perhaps you need some boosters to help you do the work.” Then Kun slowly placed the picture flat on his table. Hendery couldn’t see the image well for he was leaning back on his seat. Kun waved his hand. “Look.”

He knitted his brows together. Whatever it was, Hendery had a bad feeling that once he leaned, there would be no turning back. Nevertheless, he didn’t have much choice, did he? So he leaned, like a good boy that he was, and stared at the image.

Hendery bit back the sound which tried to echo from him at what the image displayed. It was his mother. On a hospital bed, looking withered and close to death. She was too frail. Too weak.

Hendery swallowed a sob. “How...” He gulped a few times before willing himself to continue. “How did you find her?”

Should he be rejoicing? He should be happy, right? But why did he feel miserable now more than ever?

“I told you. I’ll help you find her,” Kun said.

Hendery kept looking at the picture, afraid that it might disappear if he blinked. “Where is she?”

Kun chuckled then stood up. Hendery fought the urge to grab him and punch his face. “You act as if you don’t know how to play this game, Wong.” Kun’s fingers grabbed the edge of the picture. He tucked it inside his pocket, his grin never leaving his face.

Hendery bit the insides of his cheeks. Of course, he knew how this game works. “I’ll bring you the necklace tomorrow.”

That night, Hendery washed away the sleep by downing cups of coffee. The liquid takes its root inside his system, pumping blood in a pace that would keep him awake.

He sat on his made-up bed, with a lamplight beside him, providing little to no warmth against the cold. With a white silky towel in hand, Hendery wiped his handgun. It had been a while since he last pulled the trigger. And the weight was dead in his hand.

Perhaps there was no more redemption left for his torn soul. Perhaps he was only fooling himself in believing that his life could be better. Perhaps he was glued to violence and not even you could save him from it. No matter how hard he tries to believe that you could.

xi. The communion of Saints. The forgiveness of sins…

A knock on your door woke you from your trance. You realized you were looking at your reflection on the mirror mindlessly.

“Come in,” you said, clearly indifferent to the possibility that it might be your mother standing and knocking on the other side of the door. But you knew better. She would never raise the white flag for her daughter.

With one last sweep of your hands along your robes, you waited for your father to finally enter. When he did, he went straight to the bed and sat. He’s cornered you, there was no escaping from it now.

“Spill it, Father,” you mumbled, trying to sound as friendly as possible. It was enough that you have stretched your mother’s irascibility. You didn’t need another enemy in this house.

“You do know why mother’s angry with you, right?” he asked. Before you could answer, he continued, “It’s not just about the fact that you went home with a boy. And that you went to the city without telling us.”

A sighed. Then you whirled to face him. “I don’t understand her need to be angry. I am safe. And if she’s talking about the pandemic... I am alright, Father.”

It was Father’s turn to sigh. “I don’t have anything against you going to the city. I know your dreams, your aspirations. But you must understand that your mother’s protective of you because she loves you. And the pandemic isn’t gone. It’s there, we just don’t see it now since its effects have died down.”

You looked out the window, feeling as if your tears might betray you anytime. “I just want to experience life.”

Father walked up to you and placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “I know. Hell, I want you to live life to the fullest, too. Have fun, have mistakes. Kiss boys. Be crazy. But it isn’t the time. Your mother’s still not ready.”

With tears brimming, you looked up to your father. “And when would she be?”

Father smiled his kindest one. “Soon, darling.”

—

Your walking towards the church was occupied with birds chirping in the branches, and flowers blossoming in the meadows. Perhaps it will be a bright day despite the darkness of yesterday.

Hendery never left your mind, even though you have a lot to think about. He was etched in your brain, like some sort of a tattoo you wouldn’t be able to erase. That made you think whether he was thinking about you, too.

You shrugged the thoughts away as you arrived at the Church. It was unusually silent when you arrived. At this time of day, the other sacristan should be running around and helping clean the surroundings. It didn’t settle well with you.

“Kristan!” you called out when you saw him running towards Father Ben’s chamber. Is the priest sick?

Kristan halted to wait for you. You huffed a breath as you laid your hand on his shoulder. “Where is everyone?”

The little boy bit the insides of his cheek. He didn’t meet your eyes when he said, “At Father Ben’s chamber.”

“What are they doing there? And what’s that for?” you asked, regarding the white and clean towel he was holding. Instead of answering, Kristan held your hand and pulled you towards the priest’s chamber.

The little bedroom was jam packed with the sacristans occupying most of the spaces. Father Ben was sitting on his rocking chair, with what you could tell was an ice-cube inside a clean towel being pressed on his left cheek by Lucy.

Your heart dropped to your stomach. “What happened here?” you asked particularly no one.

Father Ben winced. “I am alright, hija,” he said. But he looked nothing like that.

Lucy glared your way. Her eyes were full of accusations. “Hendery did this to him,” she practically spat out the words with venom.

Now you couldn’t even feel your heart anymore. Hendery did this? How? Why? Despite feeling numb, you stepped closer to Father Ben. “Hendery... did this?”

How... Why... Gods, why? Father Ben looked at Lucy’s way, then the latter pursed her lips. She washed the cloth into the nearest basin, therefore allowing you to see the cut in Father’s cheekbone.

“He... punched me earlier,” Father Ben said in a low voice. He was undeniably pained by what happened. You couldn’t even bring yourself to speak, let alone react to something other than a thunderstruck expression. “And he stole my necklace.”

By that, you grabbed the nearest chair and sat. You placed your hand between your chest. This is all too much. Your bones felt like collapsing. “The... the necklace your mother gave you?” you asked this without looking at him. It was hard to do that when you feel responsible for everything that has happened.

No, it isn’t right to hurt yourself like this. But Hendery has been with you since day one. If he planned something as horrible as this, you would’ve known. You should’ve known. How could you be so stupid?

“Yes,” Father Ben breathed as he absentmindedly reached for his necklace. As far as you could tell, the necklace was given to him by his mother when he was little. It was an heirloom of sorts. A treasured legacy.

“How could he do this?” Lucy interrupted. “We welcomed him here. Believing that he was good.”

“It was another thing to steal. And another to hurt someone to rob them,” Rei added.

You really couldn’t blame them. You were in absolute shock to even argue and pretend that Hendery was better than this. They wouldn’t tell you he was the culprit if he wasn’t, right? God, you couldn’t breathe.

“I think he’s a bandit,” Lucy stated once more.

With that, you looked up at her. “That is a grave accusation to make, Lucy.” Now, you are even making excuses for Hendery. You could laugh from your own imbecility.

“Yes. I know,” she said. Then she stood tall. “But what would you have me call him? A grave man deserves a grave name.”

“Perhaps he has his reasons.” Your voice sounded uncertain. For you have no idea what could be the reason behind all this..

Lucy sniggered. “I used to think you were reasonable, Y/N. Don’t stoop so low. He’s hit Father Ben. He’s robbed him. Whatever reason he might have, it was wrong.”

You fell silent. Lucy speaks the truth. Hendery has done something hideous. He could be a bandit all along. He could be the one who’s been robbing the villagers off their small riches all this time. And yet… how? How could he smile at you like he could replace an angel in heaven? How could you be so naive and stupid?

Without your own realization, you have run away from the Church already. To where? You have no idea. But you needed to free the tightening rope inside your chest— you need to salvage your heart off a heartache. Seeing Father Ben dispirited, as well as your co-sacristans, have shot a bullet to your heart.

You felt ashamed and wounded. But before mending your own wounds, you have to search for Hendery first.

xii. The resurrection of the body...

Million thoughts ran in Hendery’s mind as he looked at the emaciated body of his mother lying in a hospital bed. A glass separates them both, but he felt far away to her now than before. She was looking so frail— as if her bones would snap if you did so much as to hold her hand in a featherweight touch.

Her situation pierced Hendery’s heart with a sword. It didn’t matter that he’d found her now. He doesn’t feel happiness for this accomplishment. Misery. Hate. And that hole of missing his mother for years were the only things he could coax himself to feel.

Perhaps he was too far gone because of his loathsome heart. Or perhaps it was because of the teenager standing beside his mother’s bed, sobbing his heart out, while a middle-aged man pats his back to soothe him. As much as Hendery didn’t want to admit it, he could see the same nose and lips that he’s got from his mother in the boy to even deny the truth. He’s his brother. Half-brother.

He balled his hand into fist. Sudden heat coated Hendery’s tear ducts. He swept the lone tear away with his jacket-sleeve. He’s accepted the truth before— he’s made peace of the fact that his mother abandoned him. But why does it hurt to look the truth in the face? She’s cared and loved another son while Hendery longed for her embrace. She’s fed another mouth while Hendery starved in the streets.

Why must the world be cruel?

Hendery stepped back and sat on the chair beside the glass window. He made himself as unimposing as possible until the father and son departed the room. Hendery gathered himself and walked towards the door, towards his mother.  

“A... Alec, is that—” Her mouth abruptly clamped shut as she realized who was standing before her. Without another word, her shoulder shook and there were tears in her eyes.

Hendery looked up, biting his lip. He won’t cry. He won’t cry. He won’t cry. “Come on, mom,” he stammered. “It’s not like you haven’t seen me for a long time, right?” Then he looked at her. She was coughing and sobbing now. Hendery had to help her sit up to give her some water.

“Is that really you?” she asked, thin fingers crawling at Hendery’s cheek. Her hand was cold. But it gave Hendery the warmth he was searching for. “Son,” she choked, “I’m sorry.”

Her voice was too weak. Hendery felt like he shouldn’t let her talk. So he shushed her instead. “I...” he stuttered, “I hate you, mom.” That’s it. He won’t hold back. He needs to say it. “I hate you so much. You left me. You left me to die.”

If her mother looked thunderstruck, her sunken eyes didn’t show it. “Hendery, son, I didn’t—”

“I became a bandit to survive. I kill now, mom. I kill so I can live. I kill so I can find you. I’ve asked myself a million times whether it was your fault I became like this.” Hendery snorted at the end. “But it was of my own choice so I couldn’t really blame you, could I? I chose this path to survive.

“I learned how to hold a gun because I need it. I’ve robbed people for money. For my own glory. For you. You left me in the dust. And all my life I’ve wondered why. Why did she leave me? Didn’t she love me? But I’ve thought about it and realized that I don’t need answers. I just need to see you.”

Her mother sobbed again. “I’m sorry, son, I’m sorry— I was scared.”

“Scared,” Hendery repeated. “We would’ve been fine together, mom. You and I.”

“I know,” she choked. “But when your father died— I was scared of the reality that we were alone. During a pandemic. The both of you were hanging on for your lives inside the ICU. And I’d nearly lost my mind.

“When he died, I didn’t have the chance to say good bye. They took him and burned his body. I was alone. Alone, thinking that you could be the next one they’d burn and I won’t have the chance to see your beautiful face for the last time. Instead of facing it all, I called your Aunt. When she came, I left.”

Hendery wanted to tell every abuse he’s gone through with his Aunt. But he didn’t want to remember those times, and he didn’t want to add into his mother’s guilt.

“I’m dying, son,” she whispered.

That, Hendery could tell. There’s a pang in his heart, yes, but he knew that there won’t be happy endings for bad people like him. All of us die in the end, however.

“I’m happy to see you,” she said, “It’s all I’ve ever wished to God every night.”

God. Is this what it feels like to know that someone has been praying for you? He felt... empty. Like everything is too late. The wound has been crawling with worms and there’s no more gauges to stop the pus.  

“Do they... know me?” Hendery asked, voice low.

Her mother pursed her lips together. “No. I haven’t told them about you.”

Of course, Hendery muttered in his mind. He stood up, smoothed his shirt with a forced smile and looked down at his mother. “I’ll better be going, then.”

“Where are you going? Hendery, son...”

Hendery placed his hand on his mother’s shoulder. “Don’t worry about me. I am fine.” Far from it, but you didn’t need to know that, he thought.

His mother’s eyes were red-rimmed, thus accentuating how sunken they’ve become. “Can you... give me a hug?”

Hendery blinked as he did not expect such favor. But he leaned forwards absentmindedly, and hug his mother tightly. He first heard his own sob before realizing that he was crying like a little boy in his mother’s arms. This wasn’t the reunion he had in mind. He thought they could still reunite and make a life together. Be away from people. Hendery thought he would take care of his mother until she’s grey and old.

But life has other cruel plans. The path has been twisted years ago. And whatever he could get from this hug, it is enough.

It would be enough.

With an empty mind, Hendery drove through the night. He didn’t know where to go. His mind has been blank since his visit to the hospital.

What does he feel? Fuck, what does he feel? He felt ashamed. For everything that’s happened today. From the way he cornered and punched Father Ben just to get his necklace. He wanted to blur and erase the shame. He wanted to disappear.

Hendery revved the engine. Faster and faster, he drove without destination. The wind got harsher, the night still dangerous. He couldn’t take his mind off Kun’s smile when he finally handed him the golden necklace. Kun tapped his back and congratulated him, his eyes twinkling like stars. Hendery never wanted to see the same sparkle in the man’s eyes anymore.

Then his mind drifted to you. Knuckle white around the accelator, Hendery bottled up the scream that has threatened to explode from him. You. With your kind smile and angelic face. You’re so good. And Hendery let you down. For once, he met someone who was willing to accept his flaws and every bad thing about him. But he answered you with claws.

So after all the disgrace, why did he stop in front of your house?

The village was quiet. No more lights could be seen inside the house. A further indication that you are already asleep. Despite that, Hendery found himself walking towards the small alleyway leading to your room. There’s a tree, beside your window. Hendery hesitated for a moment whether he would knock on your window to wake you up. Besides, he has been reckless with his decisions and he didn’t need you to think of him as a creep.

However, he stood a few meters away from the window. And there, all his muscles strained. He was locked up in his place as his eyes met yours. Donned in your nightgown, you stood there looking outside. Your own eyes turned wide as you realized that Hendery was standing if not in front of you.

He gulped, then quickly pivoted on his heels to walk away. No. He isn’t ready to talk to you tonight. The shame was too overwhelming for him to ignore.

“Hendery!” you screamed, and that would’ve been enough to wake the whole house.

Hendery’s steps faltered.

“Wait for me,” you uttered just enough for him to hear.

He sucked in a breath. No. He couldn’t do this. But before he could decide to run away, a hand tugged him. Hendery faced you. You had your hand in your chest as you tried to calm your breath.

“Y/N,” he whispered. Here you were, standing in front of him under the pale moonlight. Everything would’ve been romantic if not for the circumstances.

“Hendery.” You say his name like he’s good. Like he deserves forgiveness. Why?

“I…” he stammered, “I did something hideous.”

He expected you to accuse him. To shout at him. But all you did was to hold his hand. “Why?”

Hendery’s hand abruptly trembled. He bit his lower lip so hard, it bled. “My mother,” he choked. “Y/N… I saw her. Everything is for her.” He couldn’t stop his sniveling no matter how he try to stop it. In between sobs, Hendery told you what happened, his hand never letting go of yours. The shame that he’s felt has been obliterated clean. He didn’t even care about the tears rolling down his cheeks.

After he opened himself up to you, you reached for him and hugged his body tightly. Hendery fought the urge to cry again. So he hugged you back instead, drowning in your scent.

When you pulled back, there’s a lone tear sliding down your cheek. Hendery wiped it away with his thumb, cupping your cheek with his cold hand.

“Now. This is what we’ll do,” you began.

xiii. And life everlasting…

You paced in front of the altar, trying your hardest to contain your heart inside your chest. It’s been at least twenty-four hours since you last saw Hendery. Your mind would explode thinking of what could’ve happened to him now. He’s supposed to come back an hour later.

You started to think that maybe it was a stupid plan all along. But you couldn’t blame him. He wanted to redeem himself to Father Ben, albeit it’s hard doing so. And he really didn’t plan to do exactly that. Hendery only wanted to return the necklace.

After his visit last night, where in he told you all that has transpired between him and his mother, you told him how important the necklace was for Father Ben. It is an heirloom, given by his mother.

You tried to coax Hendery that he should go to church and ask for Father Ben’s forgiveness. And yet he insisted that he would return the necklace. No matter what happens.

No matter what happens. That didn’t sit well with you.

In the end, you couldn’t argue with him anymore. He was determined to prove himself: that he’s worthy of good things and of forgiveness. Such raw emotions. It made you cry.

You agreed to meet here in the Church. Hendery says it’s safer this way. It is still the house of God, according to him. No one would attempt to harm you here.

You faced the altar and knelt, but before you could chant the first prayer, the latch of the door sounded. Hurriedly, you stood up on your feet.

In the dark, the silhouette of Hendery was drawn. He limped towards you while clutching something in his hand. You ran towards him, relief flooding your system. Tears pricked your eyes by how at ease you’ve felt by seeing him.

“Hendery!” you squealed and hugged him tightly.

He chuckled weakly before pulling away. “Here,” he says. “For Father…” Then he coughed. He coughed. With blood spurting out of his mouth. Your heart dropped on your feet. No.

Before you could think, Hendery fell to the floor, kneeling. Bouts of cough attacked his throat.

“Hendery,” you sobbed, “What happened?” You knelt in front of him, holding his shoulders to support his frail body.

“This is nothing,” he tried to say, but the world were muffled.

Panicking won’t help. So you strived to remain calm although your heart was beating jarringly inside your ribcage. And in the end, you sobbed and cried. “Help!” you cried out with all your might. “Help us! Hendery!”

You locked Hendery’s arm around your shoulder and hurled yourself up. But his weight was dead and he doesn’t seem to be doing well. “Hendery, please!” You were a crying mess. Vision blurry, throat wrapped up in pins and thorns and needles. You placed your arm around his waist and tried to hurl him up for the second time, but Hendery screamed in pain as you made contact with his side.

He fell to the ground.

And there was too much blood.

Blood. You stared at your trembling hands.

“No!” you screamed. “Hendery!” You sat and scooped him up in your arms, tears streaming down your face to his. “Stay with me! God!”

Hendery’s eyes were drooping now. They look like crystals, frantic and wild. “I…” He coughed. Blood came out of his mouth again.

You shushed him, brushing away his hair sticking to his forehead. His skin was feverish. You choked again and again, trying to gulp down your cries. “Stay. With. Me.” You give emphasis to each word. “Hendery! No! No! Stay awake! Please!” You even started to slap his cheeks just to keep his eyes open.

Then his bloodied hand found your cheek. You sobbed as it made contact with your skin. “You…” he uttered under his breath, “you’re... so beautiful.” Hendery flashed you a smile. His teeth coated with blood.

“Please.” You bit your lower lip. “Stay with me.”

Hendery stared at your face, tears streaming down from his eyes. “So…” he whispered again, drawing circles on your cheek, “... beautiful.”

Then his hand fell.

Hendery spent his last breath with you. In front of the altar. With God your only witness that night.

Amen.

[iamyoursinblog]

The LOOP

Pairing:  Jung Hoseok/Park Jimin/Kim Taehyung x Reader

Genre: fluff

Word Count: 10,5 k 

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LIST

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You were stretching in bed when the pleasant sound of the trees woke you up. You groped your phone under your pillow and groaned. Friday, 5:13 a.m. Your room was still in the twilight of the night, and why did you manage to wake up so early?! There was still a lot of time before the excursion, and what you must to do? You smiled, even on vacation your habit of waking up early has not disappeared anywhere. Sometimes you wondered why you were so drawn to work that the time for sleep seemed to be wasted. Although, someone would not be happy to work with BTS. These guys were incredible not only outwardly, their dedication, sincerity, kindness and manners, won your heart from the very first minute of communication. And now, lying in your room at the beautiful resort that you have long dreamed of, you still missed your work. Although it may not be about work ...

You smiled and took out your laptop, began to check your mail and what you have to do when you return home. Ten days passed almost imperceptibly, and now there were several days of your escape to this paradise. It is worth enjoying them to the fullest. You were so carried away by your work that you didn't even notice when exactly your room was filled with bright sunlight. You got out of bed and opened the doors to the terrace. The hot wind enveloped your body under the sound of the ocean. Yes, it's definitely good morning! You smiled broadly enjoying the beach landscape. After breakfast, you started getting ready for the excursion. The main plus of interrupting on vacation is that all you need is glasses, a swimsuit and a sundress. Neither makeup, nor hairstyle, nor the eternal dilemma of what to wear - do not bother you when you spend 90% of your time on the beach. You will be definitely miss this. 

IT WILL BE FUN

You went out into the hall where everyone who went on a tour gathered. You looked while the guide checked everything in place.

"_____!" a cheerful voice called out to you before strong arms wrapped around your body from your back, making you dumb with surprise. You broke free from the tight embrace and turned towards the owner of a clear voice. Your jaw dropped when you saw Hoseok in front of you. Can you have sunstroke? You stared at him in disbelief, checking your temperature. “Oh, seriously? I'm not a hallucination.” He laughed as he watched your reaction.

"Hoseok, what are you doing here?" you were completely discouraged by his appearance.

“We flew here at night to photoshoot. Since this is the first day, we have a day off. I thought it would be nice to go on an excursion, and here I am” he put his arm around your shoulders and pushed you towards the bus, where everyone was already sitting. “I was a little upset to be alone, but now I have you. It will be fun!"

“That's for sure,” you mumbled, still trying to piece all the pieces of the puzzle together in your head. How did it happen? You and Hoseok are going on an excursion together. While you were driving, he talked about everything that happened in your absence, which made you practically laughed to tears. "And why did so many funny things happen as soon as I left?" you pretended to pout

"That's it! Don't go anywhere for so long anymore! " replied Hoseok, crossing his arms over his chest

"I was away for 10 days"

"Just?" Hoseok interrupted you, looking at you wide-eyed “FOR 10 whole days you were gone !!! In fact, I missed you while you were drinking cocktails here on the beaches and flirting with tanned guys" from turned towards the window, pretending to be offended by you

"Yes Yes Yes. Poor Hoseok." you stroked his head "By the way, for reference, I haven't flirted with any tanned guys"

“Yeah, so you don’t deny the cocktail part?” he turned sharply and pointed his finger at you, as if he had solved the crime of the century.

“You don’t think I’ll only drink fresh juices on vacation in such a chic place?” you answered and you two laughed

“Okay, on this point I forgive you. But about the guys - it doesn't seem to be true. I will not believe that during this time no one flirted with you. " he shook his head in disbelief

“I didn’t say that they didn’t flirt with me. I said that I was not flirting with anyone.” You took your bag and headed for the exit when the bus arrived. Hoseok looked at you with an open mouth, you stuck out your tongue and ran out of the bus.

"Gotcha" You squealed laughing as he grabbed you, lifting the air. “I knew how you usually know how to find the right words to make yourself innocent,” he said, putting you on the ground. “I don't even want to image how many guys you managed to break their heart. Cruel woman " he covered his face with his hand

"It's not my fault that they are not in my style"

"Is it because I'm in your style?" he smiled widely, posing smugly

"Mmmmm ..." you examined him from head to toe, carefully evaluating him

"Are you hesitant to answer?" he stared at you

"You .." you started to say, but he covered his ears with his hands, humming a song

“I don’t even want to hear it!” He went ahead complaining under his breath “I miss her there, but she hesitates with the answer, in her style I am or not. What a cruel woman. My life will not be the same. My heart is completely broken.” You followed him, laughing at his little performance of the“ jealous guy ”. What a weirdo, you thought to yourself. “Okay, so be it. My generous heart forgives you. ”He smiled broadly, turning in your direction as you walked down the steps.

“Oh, I don't even know how to thank you Hoseok. Thank you very much!!!" you bowed deeply with your hand on your heart. He laughed loudly and pulled your hand to speed up your step. You just followed him while the guide was telling you something about the place where you were, but you couldn't concentrate because Hoseok was constantly joking and distracting you. You knew that because of him you would miss the whole excursion. You went down to a beautiful beach and your breath caught in how beautiful it was. Hoseok pulled you towards the beach as everyone else headed towards the rocks “What are you doing? We are in the other direction,” you said pulling him back, which made him too close to you. You staggered and he hugged you around the waist, pressing you against his body so that you do not fall.

"Can we arrange our own excursion?" he winked at you "Let's go" he pulled you along almost running to the end of the beach. You just followed him, unable to stop. “Wow, look at this place,” Hoseok said as he walked through a crack in the rock. You followed him and your breath caught, it was a small beach hidden in a rock with crystal water.

"What are you doing?" you asked looking at Hoseok, who was taking off his shirt

“Do you see this water and you still have no desire to be in it? You're strange!" he laughed as he unbuttoned his pants. You turned away when he started taking off his shorts. "Are you embarrassing me?"

“No, on the contrary, I didn't want to embarrass you,” you said, turning to him.

"Let's assume that I believed you" he smiled broadly and ran into the water "Why froze, take off your clothes and join" he waved his hand to you as he sailed from the shore. You neatly folded your things and taking off your sundress went towards the water. A loud whistle echoed through the cave. "Wow, no wonder everyone was flirting with you, look at your perfect body," he said, exploring your body.

Under his gaze, you immediately blushed and quickly went into the water to somehow cover up your too naked body. He just smiled while continuing to fool around in the water. Hoseok was right, the water was surprisingly refreshing after a day in the sun. You turned on your back, enjoying how your body rocked on the light waves. You closed your eyes for a moment, completely dissolving in sensations. You felt cool skin under your fingers. You opened your eyes and turned your head slightly, your eyes widened when you realized that your hand was in the middle of Hoseok's chest. Before you could take your hand away, he covered your hand with his. He ran your hand up his chest before wrapping your arm around his neck. "Hold on to me, I don't want you to be carried away in waves to the depths." he smiled slightly

You tried not to pay attention to the wave of heat passing through your body as your fingers stroked his skin. And what do you think now, you scolded yourself mentally. “I am actually a great swimmer. This is just for reference.” You closed your eyes again trying not to think that he is so close to you, and your hand is on his body, and you two are practically naked ...

“Are you so confident? Then let's go this way, we swim to that stone and back. The loser pays for the dinner.” You got to your feet, turning in the direction he was pointing.

"Excellent! Hope you're ready to lose! " you grinned

On the count of three, you started to swim towards the rock, but when you pulled ahead, Hoseok grabbed your leg, bouncing you back "Hey ..." you tried to pull your leg out of his grip

“I didn't say you have to play fair,” he laughed as he swam forward. You kept fighting along the way trying to knock each other back. At some point, your swim turned into martial arts in water. He pinned you to the rock, but before you could swim away, you wrapped your legs around his waist. “Why are you so strong,” he growled as you squeezed your thighs around his waist. His fingers dug into your skin trying to get out of the trap of your hands and feet. You froze when your faces were inches apart. Only now did you understand exactly what position you were in. You blushed pushing away from him and heading for the shore while he still remained in place.

“Hurray, I won,” you tried to hide your embarrassment behind a cheerful smile when he swam second.

"Well done. I'll buy you a delicious dinner. " he smiled swimming up to you

"I think it's time for us to get back to the hotel." you were the first to get out of the water quickly putting on a sundress, which you immediately regretted, because it stuck to your wet body.

“As you say,” he came out after you, also dressing.

You drove back to the hotel almost in silence. You arrived at the hotel after getting off the bus you headed towards your bungalow. Hoseok stopped you by grabbing your wrist "Where are you running?" he asked with a smile, “What's your room number, I'll pick you up for dinner. I have lost "

"Oh this .." you ran a hand through your hair, trying to figure out if it was a good idea to go to dinner with him.

“Ooh, don't even think about saying now that you have other plans! Don't leave me alone," he whined, acting like a child.

“Stop” you slapped him on the shoulder to make him stop “Okay, okay. I'll have dinner with you. I live in bungalow 3a "

“Great, be ready for 8” he smiled broadly and ran towards the hall. A second later he returned “No, at 9! Better at 9 "

"Okay, at 9!" you laughed at his behaviour.

Returning to your room, you immediately went to the shower, getting rid of your wet clothes. Coming out of the shower, you fell onto the bed. Your heart was too worried about Hoseok. No, you shook your head. It's all a relaxing atmosphere. Nice place, nice guy, you are naked ... you would react the same way to any other guy. Yes, it's not because you liked Hoseok. You never even thought about him in this regard. You got out of bed and went to the closet. It's good that you had the brains to take at least one evening dress and shoes with you. You brought out a short open back chiffon black dress. You put it on. Seems too much, you muttered, turning your bare back to the mirror. Is it too short, you circled around you. As if you had a choice, you frowned. You took off your dress throwing it back on a chair. I wonder why he said that he would be left alone, where are the other members? You thought, again falling on the bed.

Damn, you jumped out of bed when you saw the time. You got too carried away watching videos on the internet. You quickly applied light makeup and dried your hair, tied it in a high ponytail. You put on dress and shoes while examining yourself in the mirror. It may be worth letting your hair down to cover your back. You heard the knock at the door, it seems you don't have time to change your hairstyle. You took the phone and put it in your clutch and went to the door. You opened the door and for a moment Hoseok looked at you with his mouth open. He grabbed the heart, resting his hand against the wall "Oh my god .. I died and ended up in paradise?" he said, examining you from head to toe.

"Stop this show" you rolled your eyes watching his reaction

“This is the first time I will have dinner with such a beautiful and sexy girl.” He looked you in the eyes, for a second his voice became too serious. "Although your shoes don't fit well," he smiled.

You looked at him, he was wearing a shirt with several buttons unbuttoned to reveal his chest, ripped jeans and barefoot. It seems you've obviously overdid it in choosing an outfit, you thought looking at him.

“I can change quickly,” you said, starting to turn toward the door.

"No way! Come on,” he took your hand and wrapped his arm around your waist, pulled it towards him. A slight shiver went through your body as his fingers touched your skin, you hoped he hadn't paid attention to it.

"Where are we going?" you asked when you headed towards the beach, not the restaurants.

"Surprise. I said that I would buy you dinner, I didn’t say it would be in the restaurant ”he winked at you. He sat down sharply in front of you and ran his hand over your shin

"What are you doing?" your breath stopped

“There is sand further, it will not be convenient to walk on such high heels,” he took off your shoes and got up and took your hand, leading you along the beach.

"I can walk on my own, you don't have to lead me like a little child." You tried to pull your hand away, but he only squeezed it tighter.

"You can't walk without my hand," he muttered, turning to face you. He took a wide ribbon from his pocket and walked close to you. "Close eyes"

"WHAT?" you stared at him

“Just trust me. Close eyes. Please” from his smile everything inside you tightened. “Come on…” you closed your eye. He leaned forward to cover your eyes, his body too close, you could feel the warmth of his skin through his shirt as he tied the ribbon at the back. Your body jerked away when you felt his hot breath on your neck. "Don't be afraid, I don't bite," he whispered in your ear, and your skin got goose bumps as his lips practically touched yours. He laughed softly as he took a step back. He took your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. And he pulled with him. You kept walking in the dark, stepping on the warm sand.

"Auch" you moaned when you bumped into his back.

"Oh sorry ______" he laughed as he ran his fingers over your cheek. "We're almost there." He stood behind your back and hugged your waist, put his hand on your stomach. You tried to pull away, but he didn't let go of you. He took you by the shoulder with his other hand and pushed you forward. "Step by step" he told you

"What a joke," you muttered, stepping forward carefully.

"Stop," he said, hugging him sharply. He untied your eyes by removing the ribbon "Surprise"

Your mouth opened. Everything around was in small lights and candles stood on the sand, surrounding everything around with a warm muffled light. In front of a round rotunda couch, there was a table with candles. "How do you did this?" you turned and looked at Hoseok

"I wanted to see exactly that glance on your face" he smiled broadly

"Which one?" you asked, but he didn’t answer and went forward with a smile. "And what's that?" you asked, pointing to the couch as you sat down at the table.

“There are very beautiful stars here, I wanted to admire them after dinner, but it’s not very comfortable to lie on the sand,” he shrugged.

You were laughing while enjoying your dinner telling funny stories about yourself. He got up from the table and lay down on the couch next to table. "Come here! Where else can you see such a starry sky? " he said looking into the sky.

You got up and walked over to the couch and neatly lay next to him. You continued to straighten your short dress, it seemed to you that you were naked next to Hoseok. He knelt down next to you, and looking at you began to unbutton his shirt. You looked at him with wide eyes. "What are you doing, Hoseok?" your voice trembled with confusion.

His eyes were fixed on you, expressing no emotion as he took off his shirt. You were nervous watching him, which made your cheeks burn. "You're cute," he laughed. Covering your thighs with my shirt “I thought you were nervous about the length of your dress. I thought that this way you can finally relax and enjoy the sky.” He lay down again, looking up. "Look, it's so amazing"

You looked at him. He was lying next to you, half naked and why was his smile so sexy? "Yes, amazing" Mad what are you talking about, you are probably just drunk. You should control your words and thoughts. You sharply turned your head up until he saw that you were looking at him. After a while, the stars disappeared before your eyes, the fatigue of a long day overcame you. A pleasant smell and warmth enveloped your body, you pulled it closer not wanting to part with it. Something deep in your thoughts told you that it was wrong, only you could not understand what exactly. Your eyes opened and you were lying on a naked man's chest, hugging his torso, pressing your body against him. Was this your dream? You raised your hand and ran your fingers over his chest, it was so interesting, the sensations were real. You felt something hard pressed against your thigh, which was thrown over the man's thighs, and smiled. You looked ahead and saw the beach .. Beach ?! Hoseok! You stood up abruptly, and without expecting it, stared at his hard cock, which was protruding from his jeans.

“This is a natural reaction, I cannot control it. It's hard not to get aroused when you cuddle up to my body like that and stroke it with your hands, ” said Hoseok and you looked at him, completely blushing with embarrassment.

"Sorry," you muttered, backing away from him, "I just woke up early, didn't think that I would fall asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow."

"Do not apologize. Even for a moment, but I liked being your pillow. ”He laughed.

“It's time for us to return. It's been a long day, I'm tired. I would hate to wake up on the beach.” You got up from the couch and went to the table and took your shoes. Strong arms hugged you and you shuddered "Hoseok ..." you breathed

“It belongs to me,” he whispered in your ear. It wasn't until you put your head down that you saw that his shirt was tied around your waist. “Great,” he said, sniffing his shirt, “Now it smells of you, which means I will smell of you too,” he smiled broadly putting on the shirt

You rolled your eyes, unable to accept his amusement, you were too embarrassed for that. "Come on," you groaned heading towards the hotel while he laughed at your reaction. On the way to your bungalow, you were practically silent, answering Hoseok's questions only yes or no. You reached your door, turning towards Hoseok, you first met his eyes after the beach. “Despite the amount of embarrassment I experienced, the day was fun. Thank you. I like it"

"I liked to embarrass you" he smiled "You are so cute when you don't control everything around, as usual" his smile widened

"Hoseok" you stared at the floor "Stop joking"

He lifted your chin with his fingers, carefully studying your face, as if he saw for the first time "Who said I was joking?" his voice was stern without even a hint of amusement. "When I try to be serious, you run away from me every time, so what else is there for me to be around you?" a coldness passed through your body from his serious tone. "Do you like someone else?"

“Hoseok, I don’t…” you took a step back “I don’t have time to think about who I like and who I don’t. In my life, work comes first, there is no place for romance. "

"So no one is there," the corners of his lips lifted, forming a barely visible smile

"Good night, Hoseok" you said trying to escape this embarrassing conversation

"Good night" he chuckled

You turned to open the door, but before you went inside Hoseok grabbed your hand and turned towards him. He took your face and touched his lips to yours. Everything inside you froze. His soft lips gently leave kisses on yours. He pushed you against the door, deepening the kiss. Your breath became heavy under the caresses of his lips and tongue. You moaned when one of his hands passed over your back, squeezing your waist, and the other, lifting the hem of your dress, squeezed your thigh. You pushed away when his hand started to lift up your thigh, making you want more "Hoseok" you whispered before covering your mouth. You looked at the floor unable to raise your head, you were too ashamed that you even allowed this kiss, but you were even more ashamed that you so desperately wanted more.

"Sorry. I just wanted to leave an innocent kiss on your lips like a good night. But I couldn't stop as soon as I touched your tender lips. ”There was amusement in his voice.

“Stop” you looked at him pleadingly, “Please stop. We ... I work as one of your managers. Let's pretend it was a stupid drunken mistake, and we will never think about it. ”Before he could say anything, you ran into your room, closing the door behind you. You screwed up! You took an open bottle of wine from the table, filled your glass and drank it in one gulp. You took off your dress and fell into bed. I wonder if this day would happen again, would you make fewer mistakes? You closed your eyes falling into a deep sleep.

 Who's the king of the party here?

You were stretching in bed when the pleasant sound of the trees woke you up. You groped your phone under your pillow and groaned. Friday, 5:13 a.m. What is it? Did you dream everything? You looked at your phone again - Friday. Was it really just a dream? Everything was so real. You kept spinning in bed trying to find at least some explanation. If it was a dream, then why did you dream about Hoseok? Some nonsense, you're probably going crazy. You lay and looked out the window, watching as your room was gradually filled with sunlight. Your phone vibrated to remind you of the excursion. You weren't in the mood to go on a tour. Your thoughts were too busy to listen to someone else. After breakfast, you returned to bed, not wanting to leave your room. You lay in bed watching various shows that you usually did not have enough time for. You looked at the time and fell back on your pillow. And what you do, _____? you muttered. Two days left, and you decided to spend them in your room looking at all this bullshit? you kept berating yourself. You got up and put on a swimsuit and went to the beach. On the way, you took a cocktail and drank it in almost one sip, which greatly surprised the bartender. You went to the farthest sunbed, which was at the end of the beach. Usually, there was no one in this area, and you could calmly enjoy the sun's rays alone. Taking off your sundress, you lay down on a lounger, stretching under the rays of the sun. The pleasant breeze and warm sun relaxed you.

“I thought it seemed to me,” a familiar voice pulled you out of your half-asleep condition. You opened your eyes and looked at the guy who was standing in front of you, holding out a glass of cocktail. Because of the bright sun, you could only see his silhouette.

"Who are you?" you asked slightly standing up, leaning on your hand.

"You are cruel" he laughed sitting down on the next lounger

"Jimin?" you sat up abruptly, turning in his direction “What? How? Why are you here? "

“We arrived for the shooting, but we will start only tomorrow. So today is the day off. And where, if not on the beach, to spend your day off? " he smiled broadly, making himself more comfortable on the lounger.

What is going on? Did you really dream about what happened with Hoseok? You shook your head, no, it's just a dream. Some have dreams that show events that are about to happen. Yes, you just had a dream that they should come here, albeit in such a country form. Sleep and nothing else ..

"Are you okay?" you looked at Jimin who was looking at you with concern

"Yes, I'm fine"

"I spoke to you, but you did not react to my words in any way"

“Sorry, I thought. What were you talking about?"

“I asked how is your vacation going? Did you manage to break many men's hearts? " he smiled while taking a sip

"Great, I don't want to go back to work." you lay back on the lounger taking a sip of the cocktail Jimin brought. "Delicious" you pointed to the cocktail with a broad smile. You decided to skip the answer to his second question.

"What? Do you not want to go back to work? You broke my heart, " he clutched his chest, feigning pain." We are all waiting for her, and she does not want to return to work. How can you be so cruel ... "

You laughed at his performance “Okay, since you were waiting for me. There is nothing to be with this, I have to return "

He jumped up and started dancing madly with joyful shouts. You laughed out loud as you watched his behaviour. "I definitely missed of this!" you said still laughing

“I'll take this as an admission that you missed me,” Jimin said as he walked up to you.

"It's not like I said" you raised an eyebrow

"Would you like another cocktail?" he asked taking your empty glass

"Yes please" you smiled at him before he headed towards the bar

“By the way,” he turned in your direction, you turned your gaze to him, and his gaze was riveted to your body. “Nothing,” he shook his head and walked on.

After a while, you heard Jimin cursing as he approached you. You looked up and laughed when you saw Jimin with a tray full of cocktails. He walked in small steps watching the shaking glasses. You got up and walked over to Jimin and took the tray out of his hands. You quickly walked over and set drinks on the table between your sun loungers.

"How did you manage to walk so fast and not spill a drop?" Jimin looked at you in surprise.

"I'm just talented at everything, face it" you pushed your hair back in a winning pose. "Have you decided to get drunk today?" you pointed to cocktails

“Get drunk? With this? This is a warm-up in our fight! ” he crossed his arms over his chest

"Are we participating in a duel?" you raised an eyebrow

“Yes, we must finally find out who gets drunk first! Last time on the company, you drank with me and Jungkook, and in the morning you looked like you drank water and not soju all night" he chuckled "It's time to find out who is the king of alcohol!" he laughed devilishly

"Aren't you afraid that tomorrow you will be studying hangover?" you smiled at him

"Hmm, you overestimate your strength too much if you think you will win!" he showed you his tongue and you laughed at his childish behaviour

“Okay! I accept your challenge! ”

“By the way, they told me at the bar that there is a party on the beach tonight. It will be fun." He raised two glasses and you drank to the start of a crazy evening.

As darkened, barrels of fire appeared on the sand, filling the dark beach with dim light. Loud music and the noise of people near the bar diluted the loud sounds of the waves. You have lost count of how much has been drunk already. But you didn't care, you were in a great mood. You got up from your seat and walked forward closer to the fire. You danced to the music you played. There were no thoughts in your head, just complete relaxation. Jimin came over to join you in your private fire party that was far from everyone else.

"I certainly don't mind, but you don't want to wear anything on yourself?" Jimin asked, looking at the guys in the bar who weren't taking their eyes off you. You looked at your body and laughed, exactly, you are in a swimsuit. You went back to your seat and took a short lace beach tunic out of your bag and put it on. You returned to your dance floor, continuing to dance, "What is this? Why do you look more sexy than in a swimsuit?" he asked staring at you

“We're on the beach. I should have put on jeans and shirt with long sleeves? ” you laughed at his reaction. "Relax, let's dance"

“I seem to be sober. I urgently need a drink," he said, walking to your table with a new batch of cocktails.

You continued to fool around and dance, you haven't had so much fun for a long time. You laughed looking at each other when TroubleMaker started playing. "We must dance!" you said coming closer to him.

"I didn't know that you knew the dance for this song"

"Oh, you don't know a lot about me" you winked at him, placing your hand on your shoulder. Despite the alcohol in your blood, your bodies moved clearly to the rhythm of the music, perfectly repeating every movement. Although, perhaps due to alcohol, your choreography was more revelatory and sexy than the original. You fell into the sand laughing when the song ended.

“You know, in my opinion a couple of movements were improvisation,” he said, turning his head in your direction

“You know, in my opinion, all the improvisation was your handiwork, and in the literal sense,“ you met his gaze, and after a moment they laughed again. He got up from the sand and pulled you by the hands, put you on your feet.

“We forgot about our raving,” he said, walking toward the table.

“Exactly! Thanks to dancing I am sober again! I think cocktails will not help us find out who is the best. I'll be back now" you went to the side of the bar. Taking ice cold water you took a few big sips, removing your thirst after such intense dancing. You tried to completely ignore the guys who tried to talk to you. When the bartender came up, you ordered a bottle of tequila and some chopped limes ...

Having taken your order, you returned to your table. “Oh my god,” Jimin moaned as you put a bottle of tequila on the table. “We're dead! We'll die tomorrow.” He ran his hand over his face

"We haven't even moved to the next level, are you already giving up?" you smiled broadly

“No way!” he took the bottle and poured two shots.

You continued to drink, did not even notice how the party ended and the beach was empty. After finishing the bottle, you tried to find out who was the drunker of you, although you two could barely stay on your feet. “Look at you, you're staggering,” Jimin said pointing his finger at you.

“It’s you who are staggering, so it seems to you that everyone around is staggering,” you slapped his hand.

“We're out of alcohol,” Jimin said towards the closed bar.

"I have wine in my room!" you clapped your hands smiling broadly.

"Excellent! Let's go! " he said, and taking a step fell to his knees in the sand.

“I won - you fell,” but before you could say it, you landed on your knees next to him. He smiled broadly, looking at you “Not a word!” You said trying to get up.

You laughed out loud as you walked towards your bungalow. You fell constantly when you tried to help each other up. The two of you fell to the grass laughing again. Even though you lived in 5 minutes from the beach, you thought you had been walking for ages. You raised your head up and clapped happily when you saw that you were lying in front of your door. Going inside, you fell on the bed, I rejoice at its softness.

“Damn, I forgot to pay at the bar,” you moaned, it's good that the bartender knew you well. “And will have to ask to remove all the videos from the surveillance cameras that thay have with us.”

"Already done. When I went to the toilet, I paid for us and asked to delete everything "

“Wow, Park Jimin! Well done! You my hero!" you said smiling at him, showing your finger heart.

"Ohh yeah, praise me!" he said pretending to be superman, throwing a towel over his shoulders. You just laughed. He lay down next to you and rolled onto side, hugging you around the waist, pulling you closer to him, because of which his face was inches from yours.

"Park Jimin!" you looked at him "You've officially lost!" you said poking him in the shoulder

"How about - a draw?" he asked winking

You waved your hand “Don't even think! I won! I'm not drunk enough to kiss you! ”

"Then I don't mind losing," he said, covering your lips with a kiss. His tongue bound with yours as his hands eagerly caressed your body. He moaned before pulling away from you, leaving you gasping for breath from his onslaught. "We're too drunk." He said, rolling onto his back and pulling you into his arms, "Let's sleep. We are continue when you want me, without alcohol."

You were your mind too clouded by alcohol to take what he was saying, but you said nothing. Jimin's body heat enveloped you, making you fall asleep in a seconds.

 Sunrise

You stretched in bed as the sound of trees penetrated your creation. “Jimin,” you sat up abruptly in bed looking around. You were alone and in a nightie. There was no hangover, you definitely fell asleep in a swimsuit and a beach dress. You looked the room was all cleaned, although yesterday you obviously made a mess when the drunks came. Did Jimin take everything away? You quickly found your phone between the pillows and stared at the screen. Friday 5:13am. WTF ??? What the fuck is going on here? Dream again? Although no, is that a dream within a dream? Is this some kind of joke? If yes, then it is absolutely not funny. So that's it, today I will not leave the room! You looked out the window, it was still dark. Nothing will happen if you go to the beach to see the sunrise, right? So early, even the staff is not on here. You took a short silk robe and threw it over your nightie and went out into the street. You walked along the wet grass towards a small beach at the end of the hotel grounds. The closer you got, the louder the sound of the waves. You went to the beach and smiled at the sight that opened before you. It was the perfect place to enjoy the last sunrise, tomorrow night you will be flying home.

You pulled your robe down to your elbows, enjoying the breeze that caressed your bare skin. The sound of the ocean and the beautiful view slowly cleared your mind of the mess that was going on there. You closed your eyes wanting to dissolve in this moment. The sound of the camera broke the silence, forcing you to open your eyes. You turned towards the source of the sound and your mouth opened as you locked eyes with Taehyung.

Taehyung smiled broadly at you and you backed away. The sand made your legs tangled and you fell, landing on your butt. You sat on the sand and looked at him with wide eyes.

"Are you okay?" Taehyung looked at you with concern. He came closer and sat down, resting his knee on the sand next to your thigh. "Didn't you hurt yourself?" You raised your hand and reached forward, poked him in the shoulder with your finger, from which he laughed taking your hand. “Do you think I'm a ghost? Get up ” he pulled you by the hand, lifting you to your feet. He removed the rest of the sand from your clothes and legs as you continued to stare at him. He met your gaze and laughed again, “Seriously! I'm not a ghost. Stop looking at me like that" he took you by the shoulders, turning to face the horizon" You will miss everything," he said pointing to the light that began to appear above the line of the ocean. It was one of those moments when the beauty took your breath away. For a moment, you forgot about everything, just enjoying the dawn. Even at that moment, though, you couldn't stop thinking about the sensation of Taehyung's hot fingers on your skin, holding your shoulders.

Did you suddenly wonder if this was a dream too? Interestingly, did BTS have any overseas projects at all? As far as you can remember, their entire schedule was packed with local events and shooting. So this is definitely another dream. Since this is still a dream ... You smiled and took a step back, pressing your back against Taehyung's chest. You leaned the back of your head on his shoulder, watching the sun rise slowly over the ocean.

"Are you tired of standing?" he asked in surprise

"Yes, hold me"

He just grinned at your words, hugging you by the shoulders. “If I knew that you would watch the dawn in your pyjamas in my arms, I would have come here much earlier,” he whispered in your ear.

"Fun, isn't it?" you said smiling “All the same, everything will disappear” you added in a whisper

“By the way,” he said quietly laughing

"What?"

"Good morning"

Exactly, you were so shocked to see him that you didn't even say hello. "Good morning Taehyung"

“Wow, the first time you just called me by my name, __________. Every second I like this place more and more "

“I'm still older than you,” you slapped his hand

"Do you want me to call you - nuna?" he whispered in your ear, and goose bumps ran through your body. Why does this word sound so sinful from his lips?

“You better call my name” you said quickly

“Why, nuna? Don't you like it when I call you nuna? Or, on the contrary, do you like it too much, nuna? " you could almost feel his every movement of his lips on your skin. “You don't have to answer, nuna” he chuckled, emphasizing ‘nuna’

“Yes, I like it too much” you closed your eyes, allowing yourself to enjoy the moment

“You surprised me. Thought now you would start scolding me or something like that "

"Today I will do what I want"

"Even so?" he laughed softly "And what do you want?" his voice became seductive

“I want to eat,” you answered, making him laugh out loud.

"Eat? OK, it's up to you." You turned to face him and smiled “Only first you need to change your clothes. I do not want others to see what I see " he winked at you, tying your robe tightly.

"You too, or are you going to go to breakfast in your pyjama?" You walked forward past him

“Oh yes, exactly. What room do you live in, I'll pick you up as I change. "

"Bungalow 3a"

“You’re practically neighbours, I have 6a” he winked at you and ran towards his bungalow.

You went into the room and took off your robe and threw it on the bed “Oh, that's what he was talking about,” you muttered when you saw your nipples protruding through the thin silk fabric of your nighties. You quickly took a shower and dried your hair, decided to leave it wet and put on a colourful boho beach dress. You heard a knock and walked over to open the door.

"Are you going to go like that?" asked Taehyung, examining you from head to toe

"Yes, why?" you went to the bed and took your phone.

"Isn't the dress too short?" he raised an eyebrow

You looked in the mirror, turning around. “I think it’s just right,” you laughed and went outside, pushing Taehyung out of the room. “Come on!”

You walked towards the restaurant while Taehyung continued to grumble at you for the length of your dress. “There, you see,” he growled as the two guys blew you kisses. "I knew that because of this dress everyone would flirt with you!" he grabbed your hand and quickened your step

"Hmm ... So the only reason that someone can flirt with me cause this short dress ?" you looked at him fiercely

"What?" he stares at you. You pulled your hand away and walked forward. "Wait, that's not what I mean." He stopped you in front of the restaurant. "And how could you misunderstand the meaning of my words so much?" he looked at you in surprise. “Everyone flirts with you every second! And because of such a short dress, they all go crazy. And in general, how can you look so sexy with wet hair. It's just illegal!” He took off his cap, putting it on you.

"What's that?" his words  embarrassed you "Acting like a jealous boyfriend"

"Yes! So stop being so seductive and driving other guys crazy! ” he took your hand and pulled you inside the restaurant “It's good that none of the members have met yet,” he muttered under his breath

“Did you say something?” You asked, not sure if he really said it

"Nothing. Where do you want to sit? " he asked changing the subject

You sat by a large window overlooking the ocean. After placing your order, you started asking Taehyung about the job.

“Just stop! You're on vacation, and I have a day off! No talk of work, "he said, pointing his finger at you.

"Yey, yey. As you say Mr. Kim Taehyung” you laughed

He take sip of his drink, which left cream on his upper lip. You reached out, wiping off the rest of the cream, then licked your finger. "Sweet" you smiled. It was only when you met his gaze that you realized exactly what you just did. "Oh, just. I just ... forget!" you are wearing a cap hiding your eyes. And what are you doing? you scolded yourself mentally.

"Me?" he asked

"What?" you looked at him

"Am I sweet?" he asked and winked at you

"Drink. Whipped cream" you muttered quickly, looking away again

“I'm sweet too. Do you want to try?"

"Hey ..." You froze as he leaned forward abruptly, a couple of inches from your face. Now you were as happy with the cap as never before. Taehyung rested his forehead on the visor, which prevented him from moving closer to your face. "What are you doing?" you hissed, completely blushing with embarrassment.

“Returning the debt” he sat back smiling broadly “Since the morning you make my heart flutter. It's nice to pay you the same” he grinned

"I'll be right back," you said, practically running away to the restroom. You opened cold water and washed yourself, hoping to somehow cool your flaming face. "And what should I do with it?" You asked your reflection, slapping your palm on the smooth surface. You took off your cap, fixing up your hair.

You left the toilet heading for the table. But before you got there, some guy stood in front of you. You apologized and trying to get around him, but the guy took a step to the side, blocking your path. You looked at him and he smiled at you broadly. “I'm so wondering, if such a beautiful girl wants to join me for breakfast?” asked the guy pointing to his desk

Before you could say anything, Taehyung appeared next to you, standing between you and this guy. “And I’m so wondering too, why some idiot invites my girlfriend to join him for breakfast?” Taehyung asked in a low voice, giving the guy a killer look.

“Come on,” you said as you took Taehyung's hand before their conversation turned into an argument. You pulled him back to your table. “You shouldn't have reacted so violently.” You said sitting down in your seat

“Violently? It was not violently yet, I restrained myself as much as possible," he growled through clenched teeth, still looking in the direction of that guy

You laughed softly, shaking your head at his words. You called the waiter, asking him to send your order to your room. “Let's get out of here, otherwise I’m afraid a fight will not be avoided if we stay here!” You smiled wide and stood. Taehyung turned you towards him, hugging you by the waist. Drawing you closer, he put the hat you left on your desk back on your head.

"Don't even think about taking it off this time!" he said.

"Yes, yes ... whatever you say, my boyfriend!" you muttered, turning to leave. He still held your waist until you left the restaurant. “You can let me go,” you said when you were far enough away from the restaurant.

“I don’t want to,” he replied, hugging you tighter.

"Child!" you rolled your eyes, but he just laughed.

"Yes, yes ... whatever you say, my girlfriend!"

You came just at the moment when the food was brought. "Why did you order so much?" you looked at Taehyung with skepticism. The entire coffee table was filled with various foods.

"I'm hungry" he smiled broadly

"You will not get up from the table until you have eaten everything!" you said while taking a sip of coffee

"Won't you help me?" he sat down next to you

“No, I just want what I ordered. Why did you sit next to me and not opposite? " you turned your head towards him

“Oh, how rude. It's more comfortable on this side, ”he replied, leaning his back on the bed

"Enjoy your meal" you said, putting a piece of pancake into your mouth

"Thank you" he smiled broadly "You too"

Having finished with pancakes, you got up and took a beach tunic and went to the toilet. After changing your clothes, you went into the room, Taehyung was still eating slowly while checking the news on his phone. "Aren't you going to the beach?" you asked watching him

He shook his head "No, I want to spend the whole day in bed."

“Great, I went to the beach. When you finish eating, just slam the door when you go to your room. "

"Are you leaving me alone?" Taehyung looked at you pitifully

“Why alone? See how much food is left with you, which you have to eat.” You winked at him, closing the door behind you.

You spent all day at the beach sunbathing and swimming. Therefore, as soon as you returned to the room, I immediately went to the shower. Your whole body was covered with sand and salt. It took you a long time to wash all the sand from your hair. Coming out of the shower, you felt like a new person. After you applied the lotion to your body, you put on panties and a cotton shirt, buttoning it only a few buttons on your chest. You went into the room wiping the rest of the water from your hair. Throwing a towel on a chair, you turned to the bed and froze in surprise. Taehyung slept in your bed and his clothes were on the floor.

“This is something new,” you muttered as you walked closer to the bed. “Taehyung” you pushed him softly on the shoulder trying to wake him up.

"Mmmm ..." he moaned without opening his eyes

"Why are you sleeping in my bed?"

“It’s too noisy in my room, there are probably Jungkook playing his games. And you have so quiet and comfortable to sleep" he broke into a lazy smile, opening one eye" Nuna... " he moaned.

Grabbing your hand, he pulled you into bed, under his sheet. He put his arms and legs around you, completely depriving you of the opportunity to move under him. "Taehyung, what are you doing?"

“I’m asleep,” he moaned, resting his nose on the curve of your neck. He inhaled deeply the scent of your skin, which smelled of peaches from the body lotion. "You smell like summer and sun"

“I'm about to melt, you're hot” you tried to pull away from his hot skin

"Am I making you melt?" he raised his head to meet your gaze, sending you a sleepy smile. He lay down again, hugging you tighter. “Your skin is so cool after a shower, and it smells so great. Don't even think that I'll let you go "

After a while, fatigue took over, and you fell asleep in the arms of Taehyung. After a while, you woke up with a feeling of hunger, remembering that for the whole day you ate only a portion of pancakes. You opened your eyes, you were lying on Taehyung, your thigh thrown almost over his waist. You heard a rumbling in your stomach, but it wasn't you. You looked up to meet Taehyung's still sleepy gaze. "Are you hungry too?" you muttered, rolling onto your back and stretched out in bed.

"Yeah, woke up about half an hour ago from hunger."

“Half an hour ago? Why didn't you go to eat then? " you stared at him

"You were sleeping on me, if I got up, I would wake you up"

"How caring" you murmured, turning on your side

"Already falling in love with me?" his smile became seductive

“Dream about it” you shoved him in the shoulder. He got out of bed and you had to cover yourself with a sheet, because he was only in boxers. You looked at yourself skeptically, shirt open and tiny panties, as if you looked better. "Do you want to get dressed?" you muttered, gently crawling out from under the sheet.

“No, and I don’t want you to dress, then we will be equally naked.” He stuck out his tongue at you. Having called the service, he ordered food in the room

"Are you going to stay here?" you sat in the rovati staring at him.

"You won't kick a hungry man out into the street, will you?" he fell to the floor pretending to faint

"Oh, do what you want" you fell back in bed. "You will wake up me when the food arrives." You turned on belly, seting more comfortable in bed. In a moment, you felt the weight of Taehyung's body, which lay practically on top of you. “Is there not enough room for you on this huge bed?” you whispered barely audibly

“You are more comfortable to sleep on” he hugged you “Your body fits perfectly to mine. Maybe it's because you should belong to me? "

"You can't say like that, Taehyung"

"Why?" he asked, biting lightly on your shoulder, through your shirt

Before you could say anything, there was a knock on the door. He got up and went to open the door. "Stop!" you shouted as he reached for the doorknob “Crazy? Did you decide to open the door like that? " you threw a towel at him that was next to the bed. He wrapped a towel around his waist and opened the door. You didn't even want to think what they would think about the fact that a half-naked guy opens the door to your room. It's so good that everything will disappear without a trace. The smell of food made your stomach rumbling, and Taehyung laughed.

“It turns out that I'm not the only one hungry.” You quickly jumped to the floor and smiled broadly, taking your chopsticks from the table. “What a cutie,” he smiled as he set the food on the table.

You were so hungry that you silently swallowed food, only moaning at how delicious it was. You laughed as Taehyung groaned again as he slid a piece of steak into his mouth. "If someone walks by, he obviously thinks the wrong thing."

“Don't care. It's divinely delicious! ”

“Agree” you smiled broadly. After finishing your meal, you lay on the floor unable to move. "Why does food taste so much tastier than usual when you're hungry?" you muttered

“I guess it's just because you're hungry.” Taehyung laughed as he lay down next to you.

"Logically" you laughed too

"Why don't you say anything?" he asked after a while

"About what?"

“Today I hugged you, called you my girlfriend, openly flirted with you, stayed in your room, slept in your bed, dragged you into bed, even now we’re lying on the floor in underwear and I can calmly see your body through this thin shirt ... But you don't drive me out, you don't break out of my arms. "

“Are you complaining? If you want I can kick you out. " You smiled, turning in his direction

“No, I don’t want it,” he waved his hands, “I’m just wondering why you are allowing me today that which had been creeping at the initial stage, regardless of who showed interest in you?” he turned on his side meeting your gaze

“Mmmm ... I said that today I will do whatever I want. Besides ... ” it's all unreal, you finished the phrase in your head. "It does not matter. Just consider that today I'm in the mood to do crazy things that defy logic.” You looked up at the ceiling

"I want it too"

"Who's stopping you?" you asked laughing.

“You're right - nobody” he leaned forward and touch your lips, which made your eyes widen in surprise

He slowly teased your lips, leaving light kisses. Each time tenderness turned into passion, exciting you. You moaned as his tongue penetrated your mouth, and cold fingers ran along your waist, lifting your shirt. Your tongues ​​are intertwined, exploring each other. His kisses going lower until he took your nipple in his mouth, squeezing his teeth and squeezing the thin fabric of your shirt, forming a wet spot in this place. Doing the same with the second nipple, he kissed you again. This time the kiss was deep and passionate, making you want more. His fingers dug into your thighs, forcing your crotch to rub against his hard cock, which protruded from his boxers. From the desire to feel it inside, everything inside you squeezed into a tight knot. You ran your hand over his back, dropping into the belt of his boxers, wanting to get rid of them, as his fingers made their way under your shirt, squeezing your breast.

What if this time everything is real and it's not a dream, this thought made you stop, removing your hands from his body. Suddenly tomorrow comes, how will you deal with the consequences of tonight? You turned your head away when he tried to kiss you again. “I think that's enough crazy actions for today,” you whispered without meeting his eyes

“Sorry,” he quickly muttered, looking at you with a confused look.

“Don't apologize. I cannot say that I did not want this to some extent. I just don't think it's worth going any further.” You got up off the floor, straightening your clothes. “I think it's time for you to go to your room before Jungkook started worrying where you disappeared for the whole day”

“You're right, I think I'd better leave if I stay I can't control myself.” He got up from the floor and pressed you back against his chest, leaving a kiss on your neck. His actions made you fight inside with yourself. You’ve never been so desperate to turn around and kiss someone, but you knew perfectly well that if you did, there would be no turning back. One last time he pressed himself tighter against your body before stepping back. He quickly dressed and, leaving a light kiss on your cheek, went to the door "See you tomorrow" he smiled and went out the door

“I hope not,” you whispered as he closed the door. Raising a glass of wine untouched by you at dinner, you drank it in one gulp. You turned off the light and went to bed, hoping that the wine would help you fall asleep as quickly as possible.

You opened your eyes the room was dark. You practically jumped on your knees in the bed. You quickly threw pillows on the floor, wanting to find your phone as quickly as possible. Here it is, you grabbed the phone and unlocked it. Friday 5:13 a.m. You fell back into bed “Thank God,” you moaned. Now you were more than ever glad that it was just a dream.

You sat back down and dialed one of the managers you worked with. You knew for sure that he was not sleeping at that time, so I was glad when he immediately answered the call “Are you so bored with rest that you decided to call me?” He laughed into the receiver

"Nearly. Listen, have you by chance heard that there are no foreign projects planned for BTS, for example, in Saipan? "

"Oooh, how did you know?"

"Seriously? When? Today?"

He laughed loudly at the receiver “Today? You rest too much. We just approved this project yesterday. Besides, this project was left to you, so the schedule for it will be ready as soon as you organize everything ”

"I understand. Okay, I'll see you at work.” You hung up and breathed a sigh of relief. So they are not here. It was all a long, strange dream. Although these three days or dreams seemed very real to you, you did not even know how best to call them.

You mentally scolded yourself as you momentarily regretted stopping yourself with Taehyung. You hit yourself lightly on the cheek, and what are you only thinking, libertine! You muttered as you got out of bed. The day passed almost imperceptibly, the beach, the sun, delicious food, a perfect end to the vacation.

I wonder what day it will be when I wake up, you thought to yourself, went to a bed at night.

...   ...   ...

A week later

You arrived at the office and went to the elevator to go up to your floor from the underground parking.

“You are back” you were greeted by a joyful voice. You were so absorbed in checking the schedule that you didn't even notice Taehyung standing in front of the elevator. "How did you relax?" he smiled broadly at you. You overcame the embarrassment caused by the memory of the dream with his participation.

“Hi, everything went great.Confess, are you a lot of naughty then, while I wasn't here?” you asked and he laughed.

“No, we behaved exemplary”

“Yeah, I know your exemplary behavior” you looked at him with a smirk as you entered the elevator.

"By the way, manager ___, I saw dream about you not so long ago." He dropped his eyes to the floor

“And what did you dream about,” you asked automatically as you continued to read

"It was a very ... interesting dream, we did crazy things."

"Crazy things, for example?" you looked at him, did he really have the same dream that you did that night.

His smile confirmed that it was true. He shook his head "Eating a delicious steak" he looked away when his cheeks turned red

You quickly pulled yourself together, you could not show that you knew exactly what he was talking about “Eating a steak? Yes, sounds really crazy things.” You laughed, turning the conversation into discussions of their schedule.

Going into your office. You practically fell into the chair. If Taehyung had this dream, then Hoseok and Jimin also had dreams in which you were together. You tried to calm down, someone really decided to make fun of you, sending you into time loop for three days. You laughed and went back to work. You have nothing to worry about, because these are just dreams and nothing else. Everything good... you hoped.

_______________________

It might be also interested you:

I SEE ONLY YOU - Jung Hoseok

It can become a reality - Park Jimin

Help me - Kim Taehyung

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LIST

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[laceymorganwrites]

The damn jacket

Word count: 2,210

Pairing: none rlly

Warnings: swearing, mentions of drugs, like a sentence of Mötley Crüe slander xD, um bad structure??

A/N: this is a mess. modern AU, kinda character analysis, idek but it was fun. Inspired by @pirate-shrimp  (if any of u catch the MSI reference I will marry u on the fucking spot)

Kid had bar vibes. He was the kind of guy you found sitting in the corner of your local pub, just far away from the others not to be forced into a conversation but also not far away enough to seem lonely.

He was the local phenomena of the man you didn´t want to get close to but whose story you wanted to know at the same time. The guy who pushed people away because he was more scared of hurting them than being hurt.

Hell, he doubted he could get hurt anymore at this point, over the years he´s lost so many friendships, been betrayed so much by the people he considered the closest to him, it was laughable.

Maybe that was why he didn´t let anyone get close anymore, why he always seemed so distant, his thoughts stuck in a past long gone or perhaps a future he knew he´d never have.

A good for nothing college drop out, those were the hard facts he had to face every day.

It wasn´t because he was dumb that he quit, far from it. Kid wasn´t thrown out, he quit himself because college was too restricting for him. There were some classes that were nice enough, but working towards exams really wasn´t his style, he wanted to do something, anything really.

People like him didn´t have it easy, society measured your worth in degrees and results. But what if the way was so much more fun than the end result?

Kid had a lot of jobs to make a living, never staying in one though, he got bored so easily. How could anyone expect anyone to keep doing the same routinized thing for over 40 years? It was insanity. To him anyways.

Being punk, never fitting in, living the life of sex, drugs and rock n roll…. It all seemed so much more fun than it really was.

Kid´s band was a bad ripoff of Mötley Crüe, though some might argue that the band itself was.

Yes, he fit into some stereotypes that he was so sick of hearing: playing in a band, being that eccentric lead singer that caused too much trouble for his own good, though the second part wasn´t true anymore. Lately he just wanted people to leave him alone.

It was nice being a small town band, the bonds with your audience were so much stronger, it felt like hanging out with friends rather than playing a show for money. Kid never wanted that feeling to end, he never wanted to end up like those big bands who lost their spark, who lost that glimmer in their eyes, their racing heart when Killer counted and initiated their first song, the immense feeling of belonging whenever the crowd would sing his words back to him.

This.

This was what he was made for. Passion. That was what was missing when he was studying, he needed to do things, be that sketching or tinkering with his car or writing everything down that was going on in his head.

In truth Kid started writing because it all got too much, too many fake people around him, too many people acting like his best friend and leaving him cold the next day, too many people telling him they loved him and then spitting at him, gossiping behind his back.

A part of him missed the times when he cared, when he was shocked and hurt by this. By now it´s become so common, like the energy drink before work.

Kid didn´t have the dream rockstar life, not the one where people looked so cool shooting up in those movies, that shit was fucked up and society was sick for portraying it like that.

He only had bad experiences with drugs, living in a small town like this he saw the addicts everywhere, sad creatures who couldn´t support themselves anymore, who got dependent on things that destroyed them because nobody would help, because nobody gave a shit about them. Why would they? They were good for nothings who couldn´t work ten hours in some shitty job that didn´t pay them enough to pay rent.

The system wasn´t corrupt? Yeah, bullshit.

The problem he faced was that of a fleeting society, a society that sped up so much, never once slowing down and looking around to see what was out there. They never thought about expanding their horizons.

Schoolings were looked down upon, but at the same time cheered for. It was so strange… the craft was dying but also needed.

Nothing held value anymore, nothing lasted, nothing strove to.

Kid was happy with his life as it was now. He hated being selfish and arrogant but learned that a certain amount was needed to survive, you needed to look out for yourself before you could look out for anyone else. A local rockstar, frequent bar visitor, the best mechanic in town. All those fit him so well but at the same time he looked the part, oh how he hated it sometimes. The acquaintances he made because of his looks, because people spread rumors about him, making him more myth than man, it was pretty tiring.

Especially when they all were disappointed by the rather bland truth.

Not that Kid was bland in any way, it was just that people expected so much more from him, they wanted him to be this rebel, this punk, this heartbreaker.

Expected him to have tattoos and piercings but the truth was that he had such a low pain tolerance it was embarrassing. Yes, he bore every punch and kick he ever got without any complaints because there were parts of him that told him he deserved it, parts that hated him more than anything else.

Just try it…. there´s nothing you can do that I haven´t already done myself, you can´t hate me more than I hate myself.

Ah yes, the typical phenomenon of this generation: being way too soft and overly sensitive.

That was it, they weren´t more considerate and aware of their mental health and other people´s wellness, of identity and morals, of things that got swiped under the rug because ´it was always this way´. Why the fuck would people so desperately try to keep something misogynistic, racist and homophobic up? Just because it existed the majority of time doesn´t mean it was a good system.

Fuck, it never was.

And Kid was sick of everyone playing down those things. So what if he was a fucking crybaby and didn´t get humor? He wouldn´t take this shit anymore, yeah it mostly didn´t affect him but he got angry beyond belief for the people it did affect.

It wasn´t fair.

He couldn´t do anything? It wouldn´t matter anyway? It wouldn´t make a difference? So fucking what. He´d never know if he didn´t try.

Just now Kid finished up his work at the garage, closing up shop for the day. It was a busy day, many people who were driving through came to him to do a check up, others came by for their regular reparation. He loved that busy meant fun in his world. He was so fucking happy that he could do the things that brought him joy, that burned like a fire in his heart. And no, he didn´t care how cheesy that sounded.

Washing his hands and closing the door behind him he called Killer to let him know he was done. Killer was also just now finishing up his shift at the record shop. Now was their time to rehearse, band practice was always the best part of the day, though quite honestly most of the time it was just the guys hanging out and having a good time. And they wouldn´t have it any other way.

Kid grabbed his jacket and locked the doors before making his way to his car.

The jacket. That damn jacket.

It was where it all started. He bought that old thing from his first ever pay at the garage, his boss told him to spend it on something nice for himself, something that´d make him a man. He didn´t ever ask what he meant by that, his boss said weird things at times. But this was true, at least in a sense.

It was the first time Kid ever stepped foot inside of a second hand store and it was like heaven revealed himself to him, it was pure paradise. Just going through the aisles, finding treasures like no other, it became one of his favorite things to do.

The jacket was the first thing that ever caught his eye, the firs thing he purchased. The black leather with the yellow and dark red details, the skull on the back… it was calling to him. Those were his favorite colors, he didn´t even have to think about it before he bought it.

But what about it made him a man? It was just a jacket after all. But that´s where you´d be wrong.

It was so much more than that.

The very next day he started wearing it religiously, he noticed people staring at him at the streets but this time it wasn´t because he was a loser, it was because he looked fucking cool. The jacket boosted his confidence immensely. And it showed.

His boss complimented him and said that from this day on his journey was only beginning, and how right he was with that.

It was the day he reconnected with his high school friend Killer, he didn´t even know he was back in town, let alone working at his favorite record shop and searching for a band to play drums for. So Kid got his first guitar and played it to death, jamming with Killer and searching for others, thus meeting Heat and Wire, the coolest guys on earth.

He grew so much, finding more and more passion in his life, only his jacket stayed the same. He decided that it was time to change that.

Kid went to the crafts store and bought red leather protectors with a quilting pattern, sewing it to the shoulders of the jacket. He also decided to pimp the skull, making it his own personal jacket in painting on the goggles he wore at work, two knives as a cross because it was edgy and of course: his hair. His untamable hair that would never hold up so he got used to wearing any sort of silly glasses, sometimes even the goggles from work. Hair gel was a lie to him, so was hairspray.

He painted bright red flames in homage to his dyed hair, yeah, it wasn´t just a phase.

Everything was coming together.

He grabbed his stupidly large square blue sunglasses that made him look like a dad. Yes, Kid had a dad style. He loved second hand shirts more than anything, not the boring ones, the ones with the stupidest prints, he wore dad shoes like no one´s business and he was proud of it. He was the cool dad, the cool dad with the big car and puns that were so bad they somehow got good again. But damn, did he have talent with words. Screw not being able to formulate shit in speech, that man could write like a god, or rather the devil. Because, let´s be real, the devil sounds so much better on the mic.

Starting the engine, he drove home to at least make some room to sit for his friends, on the way he shopped for groceries too. Now that he was home he got the snacks, drinks and notebooks ready as well as the tons of pens where he never knew which one worked but never threw any away because somehow he thought he´d exchange the mines. Yeah, as if.

He threw on a black shirt and some black joggers before tying his hair up into a tiny ponytail, still his bangs fell in his face as always. It was annoying so he clipped them back with some black hair clips. He didn´t care if he looked stupid with that, at least he could see clearly now.

But getting a hair cut? No way, he looked too cool for that.

Kid opened the door when the others came and sat down on the couch with his acoustic guitar, lately they decided to play around with reimagining their songs after supporting and motivating Kid to sing rather than growl. He had such a nice guttural and gruff voice, these imperfections when singing, the edges just made the song that much more genuine.

Listening to Kid you just couldn´t help but get mesmerized, the way his biceps flexed when he held the guitar, the emotions in his eyes, the way he frowned and squinted whenever the lyrics got emotional and close to home, it made you want to protect him, to keep him happy, to keep this alive, this wonderful world he created for himself.

The others also scribbled down ideas and practiced new melodies, tried out new lyrics and solos. After a while work mixed in with private chats and the night faded into distant, nostalgic laughter and the crinkles around Kid´s eyes that showed how much it all meant to him.

[volleyball-dontknowher]

Save a horse... Bokuto x reader

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: NSFW, fingering, sex

Summary; You go to a costume party and see your boyfriend there having the time of his life

Requests are open! 

Match-ups close at midnight! 

A/N: I know this isn’t a request or anything like that but I wanted a me day so I took one, I had this idea in the bathroom at work the other day and had to write it 

B: Are you going to the costume party tonight?

Y/N: Yep! Are you? 

B: Duh,

B: Don’t spoil what you’re going to wear, I want it to be a surprise 

B: See you at 7 

B: Can’t wait to see you 

B: I’m excited to see your costume 

Y/N: Okay okay babe I’ll see you there

Tonight was one of Kuroo’s annual parties and this year Bokuto had gotten to help choose the theme, costume party. You knew that Kuroo’s parties only roughly followed the theme and it was just a good way for him to get drunk without having Kenma yell at him. The parties were always loud but always amazing and you were excited to see everyone’s costumes. You were worried this was going to be like the scene from mean girls and some people will be modest and the others sexy. You had no frame of reference because not even Bokuto (he was even the one helping set up the party) would tell you what costumes people were wearing. So you decided to go through your closet and find something an equal mix of cute and sexy so you could play it either way depending on who was there. You were the stereotypical cat, with cat ears, a skirt, and a low-cut tank top. Kuroo attracted all types of girls and so you never knew who he actually invited. 

It was now 6:30 and you got dressed, did your hair, and then some quick makeup before heading to Kuroo’s. When you got there you could instantly tell that the party had already started and it was only 7:15, music was blaring and you could already hear voices talking loudly. You went up the door and froze for a moment, struck with a sudden fear that you were going to be completely out of place and underdressed, maybe you should just go home and change really quick, or just ask Kuroo for his volleyball jersey and be a player or just run to the store and get an alternative outfit or-

“Y/N! Glad you made it!” Hinata shouts before pulling you inside by your arm. Hinata was dressed as an alien which would put you off because that means you were dressed wrong but it’s Hinata and he honestly wears whatever he wants. 

Entering the party with Hinata you are suddenly at ease, you see boys with their shirts off and girls practically in bikinis you were fine. Hinata caught a glance of someone else he knew and skipped off which left you completely alone. You scanned the room for Bokuto or Kuroo and you couldn’t find either of them so you made your way into the kitchen and grabbed a drink when a figure approached you from behind, you could tell that they were definitely not someone you knew by their looming presence and their lack of greeting upon seeing you. You slowly turned around and saw one of Kuroo’s old friends standing there staring at you with a full cup of spiked punch in hand. 

“Hey,” he smirks at you in a manner that can only remind you of Flynn Rider, and he was roughly dressed as the Joker which only made his smile more distracting. 

“Hi,” with a smile, he hadn’t done anything to deserve anything less and you couldn’t find anyone you knew and there was no harm in meeting new people. The two of you ended up chatting in the kitchen for several minutes when you hear a loud thud come from the living room, you both make your way out of the kitchen to see what happened, only to see that someone is already drunk and attempted to do a backflip off of the couch. Kuroo appears out of thin air and helps the person up and sits him on the couch. The Joker (you didn’t know his name) mutters something about the guy being a total dumbass which made you laugh as you turn to look up at him. You continue your conversation where it had left off, you two were currently debating whether or not Robin is hotter than Batman, and he made a really good point that Batman is rich and Robin isn’t but you couldn’t get over the whole old traumatized man thing. The two of you kept laughing with each other, but you kept looking for your boyfriend who was nowhere in sight and it had been over ten minutes now. 

You excused yourself from the conversation with the Joker and found Kuroo and asked him if he had seen Bokuto recently and he shook his head at you but reassured you that he was here. It was weird to not have seen or heard from Bo this long during a party, he was always the life of events like this and you couldn’t imagine where he could be. You did a full lap of the living room and kitchen before slowly making your way up to Kuroo’s room. You knock quietly on the door and get no response so you slowly open the door to see that Bokuto is laying face down on the bed. 

“Bo...;” you start as you get closer to him, “what’s wrong?” You know him well enough that something big has to be wrong for him to be upstairs like this. 

He rolls over and looks at you sadly, “I lost my cowboy hat,” he frowns. 

“What?” you exclaim clearly there must be a misunderstanding, he was not missing the party because of a hat. 

He frowns at you, “I look dumb without my hat, I want to be a cowboy, not just a guy.” You can’t help but laugh at him, he’s clearly had a drink or two and was now hiding in Kuroo’s bedroom. You sit him up and give him a big kiss before whispering, “you look just like a cowboy to me,” and this perks him up immediately. 

He smiles and jumps out of bed before giving you a giant kiss and telling you that you look “super hot,” and that he has a party to get back to. He is smiling as he pulls you onto the dance floor with him and instantly brings the mood in the room up by about a thousand percent. He is smiling and laughing as he drops it low and dances with you and everyone else around him. His energy is completely unbeatable but you got thirsty after a few songs and went to go get a drink from the kitchen and you couldn’t help but giggle when Bokuto followed you into the kitchen smiling at you happily. He had gotten hot on the dance floor and unbuttoned his flannel and boy did he look sexy. He was wearing jeans that hugged his bubble butt perfectly and then his abs were not showing and he was all sweaty and you couldn’t help but pull him into a kiss and run your hand down his defined chest. Bokuto instantly kissed you back before smiling at you before you went back to dancing together. You had gone through another several songs before you see the joker back on the dance floor making his way over to the two fo you. He starts dancing with everyone around you and joins in the little circle of people Bokuto had attracted. 

Suddenly, Bokuto gets an idea and skips out of the circle for a minute to go do something, and you are left alone with the Joker and four other people, one of which being Kuroo and the other was Hinata. The Joker moves over to you and starts to get really close to you smiling as he dances with you and before he can get any closer Bokuto is right back with his hands on your hips smiling at you, which gave the Joker a clear message that you two were together. Bokuto wasn’t stupid, he knew that everyone in the room had their eyes on you and they were waiting for their moment to try and get a word in but he refused to let them get close to you. Girls came up to him and flirted with him all the time too, he was gorgeous, muscular, and funny, what else could girls want- a guy who’s single. Bokuto was amazing and subtly rejecting all of them and making them somehow all still in love with him but they also don’t ever ask him out again. You on the other hand when you were flirted with just kinda froze and looked to Bokuto for backup because you never knew how to react when someone told you that you were the brightest star in the galaxy or something cheesy like that and somehow he always did? But the Joker got the message and backed off and Bokuto turned you around before giving you the cheesiest smile you had ever seen and before you could ask him what he was planning he shooshed you. Then the speaker changed songs and Bokuto started laughing really hard and you had no idea what was going on until about thirty seconds when the songs went “Save a horse, ride a cowboy” and Bokuto gave you the biggest grin as he started to rub his hands up and down his sweat glistened chest and sway his hips to the music. He continued to sing along and dance at you and you can’t deny that you are incredibly turned on, he was a piece of art and he was just staring at you like you were the only person in the room. After he was done dancing at you to the goofy song he pulled you to his chest and whispered, “wanna ride a cowboy?” and you couldn’t form proper words to respond so you nodded your head and he wrapped his arms around your body and kissed the top of your head as he pulled the both of you off of the dance floor. 

He went and said goodbye to Kuroo and the others before leading you out to his car and pushing you up against the hood, his hands instantly all over you as he kisses you feverishly. You notice how he presses his hips up onto yours and is quick to pull himself away and wink before opening the door for you and going to start the car. Once he was off of Kuroo’s street his hand instantly went to your thigh and started rubbing up and down your inner thigh, “you’re such a pretty kitten,” he coos, not letting his eyes leave the road. He keeps rubbing his hand further up your thighs and up the edge of your skirt. You squeeze your legs shut before letting out a little whimper “Bo,” you whine as you look at him while biting your lip. He doesn't respond to your words, instead, he pushes his fingers past your legs and starts to lightly rub up and down your panties feeling how wet you are. 

You let out a little moan and can’t help but relax back into your seat as his fingers tease you through your panties. He knows you well enough to know that you are enjoying it, but you still have several minutes before you arrive home and he is going to use them all to his advantage. 

“Panties off,” he says in with a slight country twang as his eyes stay glued onto the road. 

You have no idea if he is serious or not so you just stare at him with wide eyes in shock before he grips your inner thigh harshly. 

“Panties now kitten,” he coos at you and you focus your eyes straight on the road as you pull your panties off and slowly put them in his open palm. He smiles at you and tucks them into his shirt pocket before bringing his fingers to your now exposed cunt and pushes his middle finger directly onto your clit and starts rubbing harshly, you let out a surprised squeak before trying to clench your legs together embarrassed about how you were practically dripping for him, but he is one step ahead of you and uses his other fingers to keep your thighs from keeping him away. He adds another finger to your clit and spares a few glances over at your figure, admiring how sexy you with your legs spread open, mouth agape in the passenger seat of his car. It was a thrilling sight for both of you and when you saw him lick his lips as he pushed two fo his fingers into you you almost lost it, but as soon as you felt like you could orgasm you felt his hands leave you as he reached for his door handle- you were home. He smirked at you before quickly making his way around to your door and getting it for you as he smiled and told you “right this way ma’am” in his horrible country twang. You got into his apartment and immediately the two of you headed towards his bedroom, you were both incredibly needed and you wanted nothing more than to get to touch him. Once in his bedroom, you ended up stripped completely naked and Bo had everything but his shirt off by the time Bokuto had closed the door behind you. He gave your body a quick up and down before pulling you into a passionate and desperate kiss as he whispered that you were “so wet for him.” and that he is going to show you how wet he can really make you, just wait he is going to treat you so right, you will be screaming his name in minutes. As his tongue slid into your mouth you could feel his length pressing up against you and you wove your hand between the two fo you and started to lightly stroke it. Bokuto let out a long and deep moan as you continue to stroke him s his hands went to your breasts and started groping them and rolling your nipples between his fingers. He was absolutely on cloud nine but you could tell he was getting close and so could he, so he gripped your hand tightly and smirked at you. He stepped away from you, eyes fixed on your body as he licked his lips and climbed on the bed. 

“Come on babe,” he teases you, “save a horse,” he smiles and you can’t help but turn bright red at what he was implying. You shyly made your way over to him and he gave you the biggest smile as you climbed on the bed, his hands helping you throw your leg over his chest and straddle his lap. “Ride a cowboy,” he smirks before sitting up and giving you a needy kiss. 

You rub yourself against his length a few times causing the two of you to let out needy moans as you dig your fingertips into his chest to help keep yourself grounded. You lifted yourself up and sunk yourself down onto his length, grasping at his chest as he laid back down enjoying the view. You took a second to adjust before his hands were eagerly attached to your hips helping you raise and lower yourself onto his length. His head was instantly thrown back as he attempted to keep himself together. Once you got your rhythm you were both moaning and loud as your hands grabbed on to his biceps and chest trying to stabilize yourself on him as you sped up the pace. Bokuto was enjoying the sight of your tits bouncing as you fucked yourself on his length as your head was thrown back in pleasure from his length. His harshly flicked your nipples as he watched them get hard and sensitive between his fingers.

Bokuto was quickly approaching his orgasm but knew that you were getting there, but not fast enough, but not fast enough to ever finish. Bokuto decided to start lightly thrusting up into you matching your speed which helped him get more friction and increase the intensity between the two of you which caused you to start letting out breathy moans as you tried to get the friction needed to finish. It still wasn’t enough to get you to orgasm, so he pulled out and flipped the two of you over before pulling you up onto your hands and knees as he enters you from the back pushing in completely causing you to scream out his name as his length hit the deepest spots inside of you. His length hit every spot within you so perfectly that you were ready to cum within a few strokes but Bokuto knew you better than this and he wrapped his hand around your throat and pulled you back to his chest, “be a good girl and wait to cum into after I do, okay?” 

You had no choice but to nod your head yes as he pressed your back against his chest as he pounded into you. He was moaning out a long string of curse words followed by your name repeatedly, you could tell he was close bt the way he let go of your throat and pushed you back onto all fours, mounting you once again. His hands dug into your hips as he hit inside of you so perfectly that you were ready to cum at any moment. The curse words turned into praises, “Fuck fuck Y/N Fuck your pussy takes me so nicely,” “fuck you were made for my cock” “you’re so fucking tight fuck” he moans out as he pulls out and finishes on your back before he leans back down and starts licking up and down your sensitive cunt, “cum y/n, now” he begs and you do. Your walls clench as you feel yourself finishing into Bokuto’s mouth as he licks you completely clean. Once you have ridden out your orgasm, Boktuo pulls off his flannel and wipes the cum off of your back with it before he goes and gets a washcloth to wipe the rest of you off with. “God damn kitten, you looked so fucking sexy,” he smiles while kissing you sweetly. 

“So did you cowboy,” you smile at him and laughs before pulling you into a passionate kiss beginning round two.Let’s just say when you woke up in the morning Bokuto was wearing nothing besides his cowboy hat which he’d left on the table as he greeted you with a little kiss, “good morning cowgirl”