#telling me about the weather I am currently experiencing

[docholligay]

Going to have to tell my family that if they want to go to the beer festival with me this Saturday, there is an absolute moratorium on telling me it's hot.

It's outdoors in the middle of July in the prairie desert. I also am standing in the same heat you are. I know, girl. I am aware. If you tell me "it's hot" or "I'm hot" or "whew!" or anything like that I will fucking kill you. Get drunker.

[flowersforbucky]

it's nice to have a friend

summary: you're having the worst period you've had in a long time. bucky is determined to help you feel better.

author's note: this is a silly and smutty piece that i felt compelled to write when i got my period a few days ago!

warnings/tags: smutty, reader has a period, langauge, use of a vibrator, nipple stimulation, no use of y/n, use of a cbd gummy lol

word count: 3.2k

Approximately every twenty-eight days, you curse the fact that you were born with a uterus and vagina. 

This month, however, you were cursing that fact a bit earlier than expected. Cycle day twenty three, to be exact. 

Your periods never start this early, but as soon as you opened your eyes at six o'clock this morning, you knew what had occured while you were asleep. You could feel the moisture that soaked through your underwear and pajama pants before you could turn on the light to see that your white sheets had been dyed bright crimson beneath where you'd been laying. 

One load of laundry with extra stain remover and as much Pamprin max strength as one can safely take later, you are curled up on the couch of the compound's living room with a cup of coffee and a heating pad turned up so high that you risk first degree burns. 

“Are you sure you don't want me to stay with you today? We can go to Coney Island another time,” Natasha tries to reason with you once again. 

“I promise I'll be okay here,” you assure her. “These cramps are killing me, I won't be any fun to hang out with today. Go, enjoy yourself. When is the next time that you'll all have a free day and weather this perfect?” You gesture towards the sunshine streaming through the living room windows. 

“If you're sure,” she caves after a few moments of hesitation. “Promise I’ll win you that stuffed panda that you wanted so badly last time.” 

“I am going to hold you to that,” you tell her in a faux-serious tone. 

After Natasha and the rest of your friends have left for their day of riding rollercoasters and eating hotdogs on the boardwalk, you turn on your comfort show and settle in for an unexciting and uncomfortable day by yourself. 

A few hours later, you decide you've sat in the same position for long enough - you can practically feel your body morphing to the sofa. You're walking to the kitchen to refill your water bottle and find something to snack on when you collide with what feels like a brick wall. 

A brick wall that happens to smell really, really fucking good. 

You step back, finding that the brick wall is staring at you with a confused look on his face. 

"What are you doing here?” Bucky asks as he glances you over from head to toe, taking in your choice of apparel - baggy sweats that are about two sizes too big for you, a cropped tank, and fuzzy slippers. You resist the urge to cross your arms over your stomach - you didn't think anyone else would be here today and the tank top you're wearing doesn't exactly conceal the period bloat you're currently experiencing. 

"I live here,” you snap, a bit harsher than necessary. “What are you doing here?” 

“I also live here,” he says, returning your attitude. You roll your eyes, maneuvering your way around where he blocks the doorway. 

“What I mean,” he continues as he turns around, following you into the kitchen. “Is why aren't you with everyone at Coney Island?” 

“I could ask you the same question,” you challenge, pouring some more ice into your cup. “Steve never shuts up about the glory days, all the time the two of you spent at Coney Island. I'm surprised you're not there with him right now.” 

He huffs a laugh, pulling out one of the barstools at the kitchen's giant island and taking a seat. “We did spend a ridiculous amount of time at Coney Island,” he admits, his voice almost wistful. He hesitates before continuing, staring down at his hands as he traces a metal crevice on his left palm.

"But I haven't been to Coney Island since the forties. Guess I'm kinda scared it won't live up to my memories of it. Plus, I had a lot of laundry to catch up on, so..” he shrugs, trailing off. 

You're taken aback by the honesty of his explanation. “Yeah, well,” you start awkwardly, turning away from him to search through a cabinet for something to eat. “I can't say that I know what it was like in the forties, but it's one of my favorite places, present day.” 

“Then why are you hanging out by yourself while all of your friends are at one of your favorite places?” 

Damn it, you curse internally. He's really not going to drop this. What should I say, that my uterine lining is falling out in clumps? 

You grab a bag of freeze-dried fruit from the cabinet before turning back to face him, trying to come up with an excuse. 

“I just didn't sleep great–” you come to an abrupt stop in the middle of your sentence as a blinding pain shoots through your lower abdomen. The bag of fruit falls to the floor as you steady yourself on the ledge of the counter with one hand, clutching your stomach with the other. 

Bucky rises from his seat in an instant, closing the several feet of distance between the two of you in one big step. 

"Are you okay? What’s going on?” His hands are both extended to you in an offer of help. 

“I'm fine,” you say through a sharp intake of breath. “It’s.. it’s just cramps. Bad cramps,” you force the words out, propping your elbows up on the countertop to relax your body weight. 

“Oh,” he says as realization dawns on him. He bends down to grab the bag of fruit that lays next to your feet, and then places it on the table in front of you. “I guess that answers my question, then,” he adds, referring to why you didn't go to Coney Island. 

“Ya think?” You stand back upright, grabbing your snack and water bottle off of the counter. “Now, if you don’t mind, I have a busy day of bed-rotting ahead of me.” 

“Some exercise would help,” he calls when you're about to exit the kitchen. “Laying in bed won't do much for you. A little bit of light exercise to release some beta-endorphins, maybe an abdominal massage–” 

“Are you really man-splaining menstrual cycle pain management to me right now?” You ask, slowly turning to face him with an incredulous look on your face. “I wasn't aware that you had a medical license or that I asked for your opinion.” 

“Just trying to help, sweetheart,” he shrugs with a mischievous grin. 

“If you want to help, you can go get the Italian food that I'm craving and give me an abdominal massage yourself,” you practically spit at him. “Otherwise, keep the unsolicited advice to yourself and fuck off.” 

You turn back around and all but run out of the room before you can process the shocked, albeit pleased look on his face.  

After you've closed your bedroom door behind you (with perhaps a bit more force than necessary), you sink into the fresh sheets on your bed and shove several pieces of apricot into your mouth. 

Rationally, you knew that Bucky's advice was solid, and that he was just trying to get a reaction out of you. That's just the kind of friendship that the two of you have. Sarcastic, teasing and occasionally… tension-filled. 

You definitely didn't help the matter by telling him to massage your abdomen, but what does he expect when he suggests something as horrible as exercising during a time that you simply want nothing more than to melt into your mattress? 

Your cell phone chimes from the pocket of your sweatpants. You dig it out and look at the text displayed across your lock screen. 

Bucky Barnes: What kind of Italian food, specifically? 

You would never admit it to him, but the corners of your mouth tug upwards into a smirk as you read his message. 

You type: Don't you have a lot of laundry to catch up on? and press send. The message is marked as “read” right away. 

He types. And types. And types some more – until those three dots indicating a message in progress disappear. 

Whatever. You click your phone off and toss it somewhere in the covers around you. 

The next couple hours are spent sitting under the near scalding stream of your shower, and then reading on your Kindle in the dark. As jealous as you are that your friends are undoubtedly having a blast today, you honestly don't mind your current situation - aside from feeling like your organs are being pulled out of your vagina, you hardly ever have days with zero obligations other than to just relax in whatever way you see fit. 

A strong knock on your door causes you to lose your place on the page. 

"You didn't give me a legitimate answer so I hope you like gnocchi, or eggplant parmesan, or traditional lasagna, or extra breadsticks..” 

“You know, it's not funny to joke about carbs to someone when they are–” 

You come to a stop in the middle of your sentence when you swing your door open to see him holding several plastic bags. An aroma of garlic and herbs hits you in the face. 

Oh. Not a joke, then. 

He extends one of the bags to you with his big, blue puppy dog eyes. You take it from him, opening the door further as an invitation to enter your bedroom. 

"Consider this a peace offering,” he says, placing the other bags of food on your bed and perching awkwardly on the edge of your mattress. You close the door behind you, walking back to where you had previously been lounging on the bed. 

“I'm sorry for being a smartass,” he adds more genuinely. “I just.. didn't like seeing you in pain. That's all.” 

“This is far from my first period,” you shrug, not meeting his stare. “You get used to it after a while. But consider yourself forgiven.” 

He gives you a small smile when you finally look up at him. He grabs a smaller bag that you hadn't noticed him carrying, one that is visibly less full than the others. He reaches inside, pulling out a small jar that he hands over to you. 

Your brows furrow as you inspect it closely. “CBD gummies?” You ask, your brows now raising quizzically. You open the jar, popping one of the pink, cube-shaped gummies into your mouth. “Watermelon flavored CBD gummies?” 

You notice the faintest trace of blush bloom across his cheeks. “I take them sometimes to help me sleep,” he starts, fiddling with some of the beading on your comforter. “But they can help with all different kinds of pain too, so I just thought you might like some.” 

You close the jar, placing it on your bedside table before reaching over and grabbing his flesh hand in yours. “Thank you, Bucky,” you say, giving his hand a squeeze and then releasing it. “Really. I appreciate all of this.” You try to ignore the jolt of electricity that buzzes through you when your skin comes in contact with his. His hand is both softer and warmer than you would have imagined. It brings you back to the last words that you spewed at him in the kitchen earlier. 

"A shit ton of pasta and CBD gummies,” you snort a laugh. “Would I be pushing my luck if I asked for that abdominal massage too?” You say it in a way that sounds halfway serious, halfway joking. 

“If that's what you want,” he says lowly, turning to angle his body towards you on the bed. “Then just say the word.” 

The air in your room suddenly feels suffocating. 

It is what you want - but you're at a loss for words. So instead of a verbal response, you scoot over to the middle of the bed, closer to where he sits on the opposite side. You lay down so that your back is flat against the mattress, your head propped up by a single pillow. 

Bucky's eyes widen in surprise, but he quickly wipes the look of astonishment from his features. He moves so that he's sitting directly next to your legs, giving him a proper angle to put his hands on your lower stomach. 

You're wearing the same sweatpants and tank top from earlier, having thrown the outfit back on after your shower. The loose sweatpants hang low enough to expose your hip bones and the edge of your underwear. 

The intimacy of the entire situation hits you the second that his hands make contact with your skin. 

“Tell me if you want me to stop,” he murmurs, perhaps sensing your nerves. “Or if I do anything that doesn't feel good.” 

Your eyes shut instinctively at the polar opposite sensations of his flesh and vibranium hands. Skin and metal, fire and ice.

“I will,” you assure him. Your words come out breathier than intended. 

There's an immediate relief in your lower stomach as he rubs languid circles across your midriff. It's a feeling beyond pleasure as the cramps fade the more he touches you. 

His vibranium pinky dances along the waistband of your underwear, causing goosebumps to spread across your skin. You try to focus on the relief he's bringing you - not the fact that you're wearing a thin tank top that leaves so much of your skin on display, giving him a clear view of the goosebumps that he's caused. 

He continues with the precise motions until the pain in your abdomen has faded nearly entirely - you feel so good that you can't stop yourself from letting out the smallest moan when his flesh hand applies just the right amount of pressure near your pelvis. 

You know he heard it - there's no way he didn't. Just as you know there's no way that he doesn't notice your fully hardened nipples through the thin fabric of your tank top. 

You keep your eyes closed, terrified to meet his gaze in this state. You dread the moment that you feel his hands pull away from your skin. 

"You know,” he starts, his voice possessing a strained edge. “I don't think this is good enough for you.” 

Your eyes shoot open, looking at him in a nervous confusion. There's a glimmer in his eyes that you can't quite pinpoint - his stare trailing to your bedside table on the opposite side of you. “But I think I do know what could make you feel much better.” 

“What are you talking about?” Your voice quivers as you follow his stare. You're not sure what he's looking at - all that sits on your nightstand is the CBD gummies he had just given you, your Kindle, a few books, a bottle of lotion, and the Himalayan salt lamp that paints you both in an orange glow. 

He smirks before leaning across you - keeping his vibranium hand pressed firmly on your belly as he uses his flesh hand to pull open the drawer of the small table. 

“Hey! What are you–” but he retrieves the object he’s looking for before you can finish questioning him. You freeze at what he's holding in his hand. 

Your vibrator. Your glittery, lavender colored vibrator. 

“How the fuck did you–” 

“Do you think I can't hear you using this from across the hallway late at night?” He grins smugly. “That I can't hear your little whimpers when you think everyone's asleep?” 

Your face heats up a hundred degrees. You don't know whether to be infuriated or massively turned on. 

Both. You're definitely feeling a mix of both. 

He clicks the power button, turning on the device to its lowest setting. He watches you for a moment, giving you ample time to tell him to fuck off.

Instead, you once again relax against the pillow, your body going limp for him. You spread your legs the slightest bit. 

He takes this as his signal to proceed. Not taking his eyes off of your face, he trails the head of the wand from your lower stomach and over the fabric of your sweatpants until he reaches the apex of your thighs. Your nipples pucker once again, your thighs clenching around the tip of the vibrator. 

Bucky moves the device in a circular motion, making your back arch off the bed and your head tip back. 

How is it that it feels better when he massages you with it through your fucking pants than it does when you use it on your bare pussy? 

You hear the clicking of a button again, and the force of the vibration over your clothed cunt increases. You grind down on the device, desperate for friction. 

Bucky watches you with something akin to pride on his face. 

“You know how I told you to tell me if I do something you don't like?” He asks as he pushes the head of the wand directly down on your clit with the perfect amount of pressure. 

“Yeah,” you answer - it comes out like a moan that you'd hear in a porno.

“Good girl,” he praises. “Remember that.” 

Before you can clear your head enough to wonder what he means, he's tugging up the cotton fabric of your tank top and exposing your breasts. 

You gasp at the sensation of the cool air blowing from the AC coming in contact with your already hard nipples. Bucky leans forward, keeping the vibrator on your core, and captures one of your nipples in his mouth. 

Your hand immediately goes to his hair, tugging the soft brown locks in your fingers to keep him in place. His free hand grasps your other breast, rolling your nipple between his fingers. 

The combination of pleasure radiating from your pussy and his hand and mouth on you is fucking perfect. Fucking perfect, and all too much. 

You clench your thighs together, riding against the vibrator until you feel warmth spreading through your lower belly. 

“Oh my god, Bucky,” you moan - he groans when you say his name, the vibration sending you tumbling over the edge. You come hard, possibly harder than any other orgasm you've had in your life, thoroughly soaking your panties. 

When you've finished writhing beneath him, Bucky pulls back, removing both his mouth and the vibrator. He clicks the device off, tossing it towards the foot of your bed. 

You're panting, staring up at the ceiling, trying to process what the fuck just happened when you hear Bucky let out a low chuckle. 

Your eyes snap to him, finding that he looks thoroughly pleased with himself. 

"Can't say that's how I expected the day to go when I decided to sit this Coney Island trip out,” he sighs. 

“You can say that again.” You sit upright, bending your legs and crossing them at the ankles. You lean forward, tugging your shirt back into place before pulling one of the bags of food to you. 

"We should go sometime soon. Together,” you add, somewhat nervously. You aren't sure why - the guy just gave you the best orgasm of your life (and barely even touched you). 

“Are you asking me on a date?” that sly smile reappears. 

You shrug. “Yeah, I suppose I am.” 

"Then my answer is yes. But only if you share some of this food with me.” 

♡♡♡♡♡

my masterlist

thanks so much for reading!!! can anyone tell that i really fucking love food by how often i incorporate it into my writing? 😅

[0mg-bird]

Sunrise~ Tyler Owens x Fem! Reader

Summary: The curious case of the tornado wranglers, down to earth, girlfriend.

A/n: I just watched Twisters and am in love. Right now Sunrise by Ryan Bingham is my favorite song so here’s a little one shot inspired by it.

Warnings: Language, implied smut

Everyone’s called you crazy ever since you were born. The people in your small Texas town said you were the wild child, your parents had four boys and when their baby girl came around, she had a mean streak just like her brothers. Ten years old and standing in an empty corn field, looking at the thunder heads forming above you, hot and muggy air gusting against your skin, the crack of thunder didn’t scare you, you were utterly curious and amazed. You’ve known storms since you were a babe, you remember the shrill sound of the sirens going off and your mama screaming for you to come inside. Your family was in a panic, you remember your daddy letting the horses loose and the way the cattle ran. That funnel touched down and prayers were prayed, you watched from the bathroom window despite the way your mama dragged you away.

It was beautiful, so utterly terrifying in the distance, a force of straight power.

You were hooked.

Telling your parents you were going to the University of Arkansas to study meteorology was a good idea in theory until they told you becoming a weather girl was a sweet job.

You told them about storm chasing and your mama almost had a stroke.

But you’ve worried everyone your whole life, only you would choose something so crazy.

You met Tyler your sophomore year when you had the same class, your energetic personality hid the fact you were a nerdy kind of cowgirl. The two of you quickly became best friends, despite his cocky personality. You formed a dare devil connection, you were the call he made when he got a lead on something.

Graduation came and you said you were going back home, he hated that idea.

“Come with me.” He said.

“Where?”

“Anywhere, everywhere.”

It’s hard to say no to a man with puppy dog eyes.

Somewhere between gathering a crew up from all over the boons and adopting a one eyed dog you found stranded after a storm in Little Rock, the two of you fell so deep for each other, it hit harder than any storm you experienced.

Here you are now in Oklahoma, cutting through fields in Tyler’s red Ram truck. “Lilly, talk to me.” You call over the radio system on the dash, looking for what data the girl in the vehicle following has. In the backseat, Boone, the right hand man, is recording like always, talking to the followers.

“Welcome back guys, we’re currently back at it again in the Oklahoma plains. This beauty we’re going into is gaining speed, turning into something good. What are we thinking, Tex?”

You look to the camera and smile. “You know, I’d like to call this an easy F2 but the strong updraft we’re getting here could push this baby into the F3 category.”

Also from the back seat, Ben, the London journalist asks to explain what you just said.

The rain cap starts and muddies the earth, the truck drifts as Tyler maneuvers it greatly. You pull your sunglasses off and lean forward to get a better look at what you’re driving into.

“What are you thinking, darlin’?” Tyler asks, seeing the way you evaluate the area.

“Take a left, it ain’t gonna hit the tree line, see the way the wind shifted?” You instruct.

“Yes ma’am.” He nods, giving you one of his perfect grins before making a sharp left.

Ben makes a sort of strangled cry of fear as he gets tossed around in the back. You, completely nonchalant, chewing on a Red Vine, turn to look at the Brit.

“Ben, baby, how you feeling back there?” You ask, pointing something else out to Tyler.

“Oh I’m bloody great.” He lies before getting knocked into the door again. You laugh. “Man, I love this guy.” You declare, finding him so amusing. “Let’s keep him, Ty.”

He rolls his eyes at you, making you scoff. You look at the dog in your lap who’s wearing a tiny helmet with the words ‘Killa’ written across the front. “What you think, Rocky? You wanna keep Ben?”

The dog lays his head down and places his paw over his small snout.

“Rude. Ty, Rock used to agree to everything I say, now you’ve done gone and brain washed him. Poor fella.” You pout before yelping in surprise at the way Tyler drifts into a spot. He grips the radio, calling for the convoy to assume their positions.

“Sorry, I’m no expert but it looks like the twister is going to roll right over us.” Ben says as everyone buckles their harnesses.

“You’re exactly right Benny boy.” You say, opening the center console and placing Rocky inside his designated safety seat. “We need to be in its path so the data bugs we’ll launch have enough wind speed to reach the height needed. Put your harness on and you’ll be about as secure as a pistol in a PTA Mama’s purse.”

Ben looks to Boone in question. Boone just shrugs. “At some point you get used to all the odd shit she says.”

Tyler cranks the E brake, then looks at you with a smirk. “You wanna touch my joystick?” He ask, motioning to the control stick that has the button to activate the drills that will anchor the truck into the ground.

“I love it when you talk dirty to me.” You scrunch your nose, pushing the button.

The truck is secured, you’re all buckled in tight, now you have to focus on when it’s the perfect time to launch the processors. Things are blowing against the windows, Tyler’s laughing and Boone is howling into the camera, showing the viewers what they see.

“Tell me when.” Tyler says, and as thick water drops pummel the windshield, you stay silent, waiting…watching.

“Now!” You shout and he presses the button that activates the hydraulic opening lid to the tub in the truck bed, the small bug sensors fly out and are carried up into the funnel that is passing over you.

“Breaker breaker, what are we seeing?” You call into the radio, Dexter in the caravan off in the clearing responds. “We got eyes, Tex. Data is coming in clear.”

You shoot your arms up in victory, this was the first time you were launching the 2.0 sensors. “There we go!” You look directly into the camera Boone is pointing at you. “You see that kids? I still got it.”

You watch the storm pass you, the funnel goes into the distance and the winds calm a bit as you unbuckle your harness. You’re pulling the pup from its safety and throwing open the door, running to the spot it just was.

“Whoo!” You hear Tyler whoop, and you throw that snapback hat of his you were wearing, adrenaline pumping through you. He sweeps you into his large arms, twirling you around. “Did you see that, baby? God, that was beautiful.” He laughs and you pull on the brim of his cowboy hat. “I sure did, let’s go get those bugs before we lose their signals, cowboy.”

Later as you set up camp in some cheap motel, Ben is approaching Lilly and Boone with questions.

“I need a story about the girl, uh Tex? Does she have a name?” He settles into one of the fold out chairs and motions to you sitting on the roof of the truck, looking up at the stars and listening to the music playing on the radio.

Lilly chuckles and then makes an adjustment to her drone. “She does, but she’d kill you if she found out you was using her government name in your fancy paper.”

Ben finds that interesting, he writes a few notes about a very mysterious persona you have. “How long has she been in this business? I tried to ask her some questions but she shushed me and told me she was ‘meditating to a Childers song’ and it was very important that she did this.”

Boone shakes his head. “She says confusing stuff to make people go away when she wants her peace.” He explains. “Tex is the original, her and T were the ones to assemble the squad of us, they taught me everything I know. She might be crazier than he is if I’m bein’ honest, always pushing the limits but every move she makes is calculated.”

Lilly agrees. “She’s my best friend, but has always been a curious case. She comes from Texas, hence the nickname and the accent that gets too thick when she’s drunk. Mama wanted her to be this Southern belle but she turned out to be a real wrangler. She’s the smartest person I know, but has a very relaxed way about her.”

“Who?” Dexter asks as he passes by.

“Tex.” They answer.

He shakes his head. “That girl’s a tree hugging loon.”

Ben quickly comes to know the dynamic of you and Tyler. There is no home but each other, you make the best of every situation because you are together. Two pairs of cowboy boots and wide eyes, that’s what you two are.

“I’d compare her to like…a coyote.” Lilly determines. “She’s the perfect balance of wisdom and foolishness, always willing to make light of situations. One time, we were tracking a desert storm in New Mexico and we were camping in our trucks, it was hot, all our leads were gone and we’re ready to turn back. The sunrise comes and it’s prettiest thing I ever seen, we wake up to just a color spill of orange and pink. We open our doors up and Tex is out there dancing in a sports bra and boxers.”

Boone leans back in his chair, laughing at the memory. “Man, we thought she finally lost it, that being with Tyler for so long finally made her go off the rails. T is standing there, watching her, asking what the hell she was doing and she claims she was doing a rain dance.” He says, making Ben chuckle to himself.

Lilly lights a cigarette and rolls her eyes. “She was out there shaking her ass.”

“You fucking joined her!” Boone argues, taking the cigarette from her.

“Well yeah, you don’t let your best friend dance alone. And what happened that day? The rain came and the biggest thunderheads I had ever seen blew in. The lightning was beautiful, Ben, you shoulda been there.”

New Mexico rain was a memory you thought of often, it just felt a little fresher. Blame it on the heat you were dying of or the thirsty land you stood on, but you stood out in it, getting soaked to the bone and then fell into Tyler’s arms.

Now, far away in Oklahoma, Tyler stands looking up at you soaking in the moonlight. “Come down from there.” He calls. You lean over the edge of the roof and look at him. “Why don’t you come up here?” You challenge.

Tyler shakes his head. “I’m tired, darlin’. Let me take you inside.”

You look back up at the stars, then slide from the top of the truck, making him reach out and catch you. “Alright, take me to bed you old man.”

He shakes his head at your comment. It’s hard to resist anymore, you just looked so gorgeous underneath the moonlight. He leans to kiss you, nothing too deep but still of passion because he loves tasting the sugar of your lips, you were always so sweet that it made his head cloudy.

Arm around your shoulders, yours around his waist, the two of you say goodnight to your friends and head to your motel room, Rocky trotting after you. The lock on the door is hard to budge open, the room has a sort of stale smell.

As Tyler is distracted by setting up a bed for the dog, you grab your things from your duffel. “Dibs in the bathroom.” You shout before making a run for it. Tyler groans and tries to beat you, but you stand in the doorway, sticking your tongue out at him. “You just gotta be faster.” You tease before shutting the door in his face.

The low bulb light casts a hazy orange glow to everything, you start the shower and find it to have weak water pressure. Your clothes make a pile on the floor and soon the air steams up.

Your muscles relax as you wash off, you let out a small groan at your fingers scrubbing your scalp. The sound of the shower curtain being pulled back and Tyler stepping in behind you makes you turn. “I haven’t even been in here that long.”

He shrugs, then moves to hog the water. “I got impatient.”

After being with someone for so long and sharing everything, nothing really fazes you. The crew jokes that you and Tyler could probably morph into one body at this point.

By the time the two of you are mostly rinsed off, he’s getting handsy. His fingers trace over your handful of tattoos, wet skin sliding across you in a feverish way. You lean your head back against his shoulder, looking up at him. “Ty…”

He looks down you was an innocent smile. “Oh come on, we’ve been traveling with people for too long. We get one night without Boone gagging when I kiss you.” He says, then leans his head down, nuzzling into your neck.

You bite your lip at the feeling, your arm coming up to run your hand through his hair. “Who’s in the room next to us? These walls are thin.”

“I don’t give a shit about that.” He mumbles, hand slipping far past your navel, earning a loud gasp from you.

You lean your weight back against him, nodding feverishly as his fingers do wonders to an aching spot between your legs. “Okay, not having Boone around is really good.” You breathe.

He’s practically holding you up, his other arm is around you, holding you to his chest while he makes you fall apart.

It didn’t matter that the room hasn’t been updated since the 80’s or that the mattress groaned under the weight of the two of you or that Rocky runs and hides, the two of you were savoring this alone time because you didn’t know when the next time would be when you got it.

You’re laughing, making out and switching positions. The feel of his hand running past the valley of your breasts and giving your throat the lightest grip, it makes you feel on fire. The headboard’s getting knocked into the wall, you’re breathlessly whining and he’s loving every reaction you give him. By the time you’re gripping his shoulders so tight and his name is sounding broken as it cuts from your throat, he’s barely holding himself up.

The air conditioning makes an odd hum sound as you lay against him, skin on skin. You never understood how people could get bored of sex after being with someone for a while, having sex with Tyler Owens was hotter than west Texas in the Summer.

Well, the first time was a little awkward. Most people don’t establish they love each other before they sleep with each other, but you guys did. When you sat in his lap, lips slotted against his, you had to fight to push the idea out of your mind that you were grinding against your best friend. Everything was slow and every touch was unsure, after it ended you were scared that the relationship dynamic would never work if this was how sex was together.

You laugh now, thinking about it.

“What’s so funny?” He asks, fingers tracing the long horn skull that is tramp stamped on you.

“I’m just remembering the first time we had sex.” You shake with amusement. He groans. “You have to stop bringing that up.”

Pushing up from his chest, the blanket falls off of you. He watches in amazement as you swing your leg over his waist, your hands planted on his chest. “I think it’s cute, we were just babies.”

“Yeah, sometimes I miss the days where I didn’t know how insane you were.”

You glare, immediately going to move off of him before his grip yanks you back to your spot.

“I’m kidding, I always knew you were crazy.” He says.

“You love it.” You lean over him, and his hand comes to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. “You know I do, darlin’.”

Falling asleep was easy, you could fall asleep anywhere, but in a bed with Tyler holding you to his chest, it had you dreaming in seconds. You wake before he does, slowly sliding away to get dressed. You stand at the balcony outside, a cup of coffee in your hand as you watch the sunrise. After a few moments of peace, the door behind you opens and out comes your lover boy.

“No rain dance this morning?” He asks, kissing the top of your head.

“There’s plenty of rain in Oklahoma, they don’t need me to shake my ass in the parking lot for it to come.” You state, leaning down to pick up Rocky who trailed out after Tyler.

The two- well, three of you, look out at the horizon line, the air is already getting hot.

“You ready?” He asks you, and you turn to kiss his jaw. “I’m always ready.”

[datura-tea]

still thinking about filipinos in the fallout wasteland, but now in the context of my headcanon that fallout america annexed the philippines in 1946 instead of granting the nation its independence.

what made me think of this headcanon? the timeline between our world and the fallout world splits at about that period, and, well, there's precedent for the annexation: in real life, there were 50 years of american occupation, and there's ongoing american intereference in our politics, economy, and culture (essentially making the philippines an american neo-colony, but i digress), and considering how fallout america is just america turned up to 11, these things will just be magnified, and so: the philippine annexation of 1946.

now, there's nothing in fallout canon about the philippines except for a brief off-hand comment from the newscaster at the beginning of fallout 4 about american troops in mambajao (an island in camiguin) but this already tells me that, by 2077, if american military presence in the philippines has managed to reach that part of mindanao, the american occupation has intensified.

that little nugget already paints such a vivid picture of what's happening in fallout philippines - an american military base in mindanao tells me that more indigenous communities were displaced (real life example: the aeta and ibaloi communities in luzon, who still, to this day, cannot return to their ancestral lands), that sexual exploitation of women and children was rampant (irl: the sex industry in angeles city, among other areas), that american soldiers were free to enact violence on filipinos without facing any consequences (irl: jennifer laude's murder at the hands of joseph pemberton), that american imperialism is thriving in the archipelago, and that the sino-american war is serious and ramping up.

but let's see what the newscaster actually says:

"It would also appear our troops stationed overseas are experiencing some unusual weather, as well. On the Island of Mambajao the nights are cold. Unseasonably so for Southeast Asia. But for the 5th Infantry, that's as comfortable as an Autumn jamboree. All the easier for our mechanized hellcats to drive any screaming Commie meanies right into the Bohol Sea."

"screaming commie meanies" tells me that there's a significant communist presence in the philippines, which i am taking to mean that the communist party of the philippines and the new people's army are alive and well and fighting against the american occupation. i really don't think there'd be many chinese communist spies in the philippines at this time since filipino communists are against chinese imperialism as well, but tbh this part isn't solidified in my brain as much... anyway

essentially, fallout philippines has the problems of current, real life philippines, just amplified. american occupation on one hand, chinese imperialism on the other, unusual cold weather (which tells me that climate change was also a problem in the fallout universe), the threat of nuclear war... all with ordinary filipinos in the middle. would it be a stretch to say that a lot of them fled to america and established their own communities there? that those communities would have thrived and retained our creativity and sense of community/pagkakapwa abroad? that those communities would have survived the bombs and banded together and kept themselves and their culture alive, in the apocalypse?

[peachybeom]

Valentine Blues

Taehyun x reader

ex-best friends to lovers

Please reblog if you like this!

You were currently experiencing the worst day ever and were about one more tragedy away from having a breakdown.

Huffing violently you stood in the middle of an alleyway, watching your home route bus disappear with the main traffic.

Your phone beeped at the same time and you reached for it while taking rest on a wall nearby.

[10:51pm] Roomate.

Hey Y/n,

I just wanna thank you again for staying out tonight!! Because of you me and Josh can FINALLY enter the home base tonite and get extra juicy iykwim ;)))

Happy Valentines day babes!

Okay yeah now you can feel the breakdown coming.

You were so engrossed in storming all the libraries in town, looking for a specific book for your asshole Professor, to get him to reward you some extra credit, that you had conveniently forgot the stupid promise you had made to your roommate.

As much as you wanted to crash on the soft mattress of your bed and mute the world for rest of the weekend, you weren't desperate enough to walk into your roommate having sex with her co worker while roleplaying as a nurse.

In your peripheral vision, you could see couples huddled together, walking hand in hand. Some sharing an ice cream, others practically devouring each other with their intense stares.

Love was definitely in the air, and it made you nauseous. It wasn't that you were anti love or something, in the past you actually looked forward to this cliche holiday.

But recently you had managed to convince yourself that after several bitter breakups and unrequited crushes, being in a loving, healthy relationship seemed just impossible for you at this point.

Shaking your head, you pushed aside all the pointless worries and tried to focus on your current problem which was being homeless for the night.

You racked your brain to think which one of your crackhead friend would be available to offer you a lodging.

Kai? No. You knew he had plans with his girlfriend in her dorm to watch some random Disney movie and cry like a baby while she consoled him.

Soobin? Doubtful. His still had problems prioritising his girlfriend over odi, so that was a territory you didn't want to enter.

Beomgyu and Jeongin? Never. Those two would definitely be somewhere wasted in a club while they humped their way through another round of beer pong. They had actually tried to convince you for an entire week to join them at the club tonight and form a 'Singles Union', An association which helped each other to get laid. No way you were walking into that trap again.

That left you with Yeonjun- ehhhh. You actually had no idea what he was upto. Last time you heard from him, he was 'Single like a Pringle and definitely ready to Mingle'- his words not yours.

Sighing, you crossed your fingers as you dialled his number on your phone. Hopefully he could be your saving grace.

After a few rings he picked up the phone.

"Hey Junnie, I know it's kind of late and well.....Valentine's day but I really really need a favor from you," You said rushing your words. The cold weather was definitely peeking under your raging emotions.

"Oh hi Y/n, yeah sure what's up," Yeonjun replied, in a whisper.

"Yeah so I actually- I hear a woman's voice. Are you on a date?," You asked, cutting off your own words.

"Yes I am, but I can help you. What's the problem?" He answered.

To this you stifled a laugh. Choi Yeonjun on a date? The no strings attached Choi Yeonjun taking some lady out to have a nice dinner? This day was getting more trippy minute by minute.

"It's a speed dating thing. Now tell me what do you want, I don't have much time." Yeonjun said in an annoyed tone, taking the silence as a way of you teasing him.

Ah that makes so much more sense.

You almost felt bad for interrupting Yeonjun on his 'date' but you knew he was the only one who could save you right now.

So you told him about your problem.

"Hmmm you are aware that you can just crash at my place right? You already know where the key is kept, I won't be home for the night anyways" Yeonjun stated matter of factly.

Your ears perked up at his suggestion and you almost cursed yourself for not thinking about it earlier until a face flashed up in your mind.

"And what about Kang Taehyun?" You questioned grimly.

"Beggars can't be choosers Y/n. Besides it's not like he's the spawn of Satan." Your friends responded.

"But Yeonjun-,"

"Listen I have to go but consider this. It's not like you have any other option. Byee happy love day!" And then Yeonjun abruptly ended the call.

You groaned loudly and stomped your feet like a baby, earning glances from a few pedestrians. But you couldn't care less about them.

You started to weigh your options.

Spending a night at a run in shady motel full with horny couples or with your friend's roommate, the annoying, son of a gun- who also happened to be your ex bestfriend, Kang Taehyun.

After giving both of them intense thought. You decided to swallow your pride and take up Yeonjun's offer. Atleast his bed would be free of mysterious bodily fluids unlike the motel's.

After almost walking for half an hour- a consequence of missing the bus earlier, you finally reached Yeonjun's apartment.

Your feet were giving up on you and your teeth began to clatter lightly due to the cold February weather.

You could hear faint music from the other side of the door.

Great. Taehyun was home.

You weren't surprised though.

Even though you despised Taehyun, you decided to knock on the door instead of unlocking it out of common courtesy.

Nothing happened for a few moments and you knocked again. Still nothing.

Growing impatient you reached for the key and was about to use it when Taehyun opened it.

Correction: A very shirtless dripping wet Taehyun, with a towel around his waist opened the door.

"Lover boy isn't home tonight," Taehyun started with a stern tone. Oblivious to the fact that he was basically half nude standing in front of you.

"I-uh," You gulped, trying to compose yourself.

Taehyun is annoying and irritating and an asshole. His chiseled abs could not facade his shitty personality.

"Yeonjun said I could stay here tonight, Now move." You continued before making your way inside the apartment.

You did feel a bit intrusive and rude but your day had already been a mess and dealing with Kang Taehyun was icing on the cake.

Ignoring and engaging in minimum conversation with him was your goal.

Reminiscing the comfy feeling of a bed, you made a beeline for Yeonjun's room and turned the knob to open the door.

"What the fuck," A string of curse words left your mouth as you saw the room before you.

It was completely trashed and the stench of freshly applied paint almost made you dizzy.

"Yeonjun's room is being renovated, didn't he tell you that?" A voice mocked you from behind.

Taehyun was now leaning against the door frame -now fully dressed- and drying his hair with a hand towel.

You wanted to cry. You knew that this proposition was too good to be true. Breaking down over a trashed room was childish but anyone in your place would feel the same way. Everything was getting on your nerves.

There was no way you could sleep in the living room too, your fingers were already numb and your throat felt scratchy.

"I'm gonna kill him," You muttered under your breath before taking your bag and making your way to the exit only to be stopped by Taehyun midway.

"Hey I can't let you leave. Yeonjun would kill me, also not to forget you are sort of homeless aren't you?" He said raising a hand.

Your eyes widened. So he knew, great.

The last thing you wanted to be infront of him was vulnerable and embarrassed, but here you were.

As much as you hated to admit it, he was right you didn't have any other choice.

"So where will I sleep?" You asked raising an eyebrow, refusing to admit defeat.

"In there," Taehyun replied pointing to his bedroom.

"No way I'm sharing a bed with you. You pervert, " You answered him in disbelief.

But the thing was even though you hated Taehyun, you knew that he won't make a move on you without consent.

Deep down you still trusted him.

You, Yeonjun and Taehyun went way back. They were the first two people you ran into on your first day of college, when you were a naive, insecure friendless student. They were the ones who took you in and made you feel welcomed.

"Oh no, You'll take the floor," Taehyun answered bringing you back to reality.

What?

You stared at him blankly as he broke out in a fit of laughter.

"God it feels so good to have the upper hand," He continued.

Suddenly the thought of walking home alone and witnessing your roommate doing the dirty didn't phase you anymore.

So once more you picked your stuff and started walking towards the door when you felt Taehyun grab you wrist.

You'd had enough. Fuck avoiding him.

"What the hell do you want Taehyun. I've already had a crappy day as it is, spent my entire day searching a useless manuscript for that Professor dimwit, ran two fucking stations only to miss my bus home and walked here in this freezing weather with people sucking off each other's face all around me. So No, I don't have the energy to deal with your petty humiliations. Let go." You turned around lashing at him.

Your fists were bawled and your lips quivered. Taehyun always worked you up, he made you feel weak and vulnerable and you hated him for that.

Something changed in Taehyun's expression and his eyes softened. He loosened his hold on your wrist as you pulled it away from him.

"You can take the room. I didn't plan on sleeping there anyways, got some assignments to finish," Taehyun finally spoke up, his voice soft and laced with guilt.

You stared at him for a minute too long and then without saying another word you made your way to the room and shut it behind you.

You sunk down on the floor, once inside.

Grabbing a fistful of your hair you let out a shaky breath.

This wasn't fair. While the rest of the world was busy celebrating love and happiness with their significant others, you were left here moping in the bedroom of the boy, one you managed to successfully detach and despise in your mind for almost a year now.

The reason you were so hostile towards Taehyun wasn't because he was sort of pretentious or his face was too annoyingly perfect, it wasn't because he was so calm in situations where one shouldn't be.

The true reason was that Taehyun made you feel things that you would never allow yourself to feel.

Everything thing he used to do drove you wild. Made your heartbeat like crazy whenever he was around you, the touch of his hands, the small comforting smiles which adorned his face when your eyes met.

You were always rational with your love life, never reaching for places you couldn't but Taehyun was an exception.

He led you on, starred in all your hopeful fantasies and dreams but then left one day only to leave them shattered on the ground.

"Y/n I think you've got it wrong. It's best for us to remain friends don't you think? Best friends can't hurt each other,"

Except Taehyun was wrong. Best friends can hurt each other, they can leave scars which can take ages to heal. Those words still haunted you to this day.

He had rejected you that day.

But it wasn't the response that upset you the most, it was the shitty excuse he gave you, because the promise to remain friends was just as difficult. You could never look at him the same way again, the pain eventually grew into hatred and here you were now.

Holding back tears, you finally looked around the room. Nothing had changed since the last time you've been here, Taehyun had always been a pretty minimalistic person. Everything felt the same except for two photo frames which were placed on his bedside table.

You went up and examined the two pictures closely. One was of the day when Yeonjun, Taehyun and you decided to take a spontaneous road trip to your home town. A smile spread across your lips as you recalled the happy memories.

However it was the second picture which earned a gasp from you. In it, you were shoving a handful of Chocolates into Taehyun's mouth laughing while he looked at the camera with mischievous eyes, hands wrapped around your arms.

You couldn't understand why Taehyun would still keep this picture with him, nevertheless framed and on his bed side table.

Before you could think about anything else, you felt a knock on the door. Startled you dropped the frame on the bed and went ahead to open it.

Taehyun stood there in front of you, holding a jumper in his hands.

"I have to grab some books and here, I figured you would be cold," His expression still apologetic.

His hair was messy and a hint of sleepiness evident in his eyes.

You took the sweater from him and moved to the side to let him in.

Your heart skipped a beat when you brought the jumper closer to your face. It smelled like him.

"I'm sorry Y/n. I acted like an asshole earlier," Taehyun said minutes after, eyes still settled on his giant bookshelf.

For a moment you didn't know how to respond but then you spoke,

"I'm sorry too for lashing out on you, it's just today's been a pain in the ass for me,"

As you were speaking you realised, how much time it had been since the two of you spoke without bickering, let alone apologize to each other.

"I thought you'd probably be out tonight celebrating," He continued now looking at you.

You scoffed at this.

"My love life has been in shambles since forever," you replied letting out a pathetic laugh.

Since you.

"Same for me, if that makes anything better,"

Even though the three of you did not hang out together anymore. Yeonjun always used to give you updates on Taehyun's life even though you pretended not to care.

You had no idea where this conservation was leading. At any moment you could ask him to leave, but there was piece of you that wanted him to stay just like it did a year ago.

"Actually I- uh got something to give you, just a second," Taehyun said abruptly before leaving the room.

He exited the room in such a hurry that you didn't even have time to process what he said.

Something for you? What could it be? The thumping of your heart making it hard to concentrate on anything.

The door opened again and this time Taehyun returned with a mug in his hand.

He stood beside you next to the bed and placed the mug in your hands.

"What's this?" You asked him, puzzled.

"I know the circumstances aren't the best but I couldn't break the promise," Taehyun replied, his expression soft and a little embarrassed.

You still couldn't get it.

"I can't cook or bake to save my life so here's some hot chocolate instead....Happy Valentines Day Y/n."

That's when it hit you. A few years ago you and Taehyun had made a made a pact with each other, for every valentine's if either of you were single or sulky the other person's job would be to look out for them and cook them a 'comfort' food of their choice.

Taehyun remembered. Of course he did, that explains that picture he kept on his nightstand.

You were overwhelmed to say the least.

"Hopefully this makes everything just a bit better," Taehyun finished off.

That's when you heard your own sniffs and felt a tear running down your cheek.

Taehyun looked at you with a panicked expression as he sat beside you and opened his mouth to say something but you cut him off.

"I can't do this anymore Taehyun, it's too unbearable. I did everything to get over this Despised you, avoided you but I'm just so weak. I'm pathetic," Even though your vision was blurry, you could still clearly see Taehyun's sculpted face in front of you.

It was pathetic really. The facade you managed to pull off for so long came undone the moment he confronted you.

Beomgyu and Jeongin would probably laugh their heads off and label you a loser if they ever got to know about this.

But Taehyun pulled you into a hug, his warm embrace enveloping the whole of you.

"Don't say that, I hurt you and it's my fault. I was a coward Y/n, I didn't want to ruin or complicate things but it only caused pain for both of us,"

He pulled back to face you.

"I know I can't ever make up for the things I said that day, but- fuck it I miss you. There are so many things I want to say that I couldn't back then but most importantly Y/n I- I love you."

Although your mind was an emotional mess. Hearing those three words from Taehyun made the butterflies in your stomach wild. The school girl crush, the giddy feeling you felt everytime Taehyun was near you returned.

"Same," you blurted out meekly not trusting yourself to form coherent sentences.

This earned a wide grin from Taehyun, giving a perfect view of his pearly white teeth and adorable eye whiskers.

He placed a hand on your cheek, wiping the tears and then leaned in dangerously close.

"May I?" He whispered against you lips and without thinking twice you smashed your them against his. This exact moment, you dreamt of it countless time. Being in Taehyun's arms was something you thought you could only see in your dreams. Actually you still weren't sure if this all was real or you were just lost in another dreamland. .

"I've missed you so much y/n oh my god" Taehyun breathed against your lips.

What eventually started soft and slow turned hot and steamy in a matter of seconds. Hands roaming all over and your entire body melting into his.

When Taehyun slipped his hands under your jumper to take it off you suddenly pulled away from him, breaking the kiss.

"What happened, did I do something wrong?" Taehyun asked with a worried look.

You shook your head quickly and pointed to the mug now placed on the nightstand.

"The hot chocolate will get cold," You replied.

Hearing this, Taehyun visibly relaxed and entwined his fingers with yours.

"I can make you a thousand cups of hot chocolate later but right now let's focus on us," He said in a deep voice, laying you down further on the bed.

"Am I really going to get laid with Kang Taehyun on fucking Valentine's day? Past us would be cringing so hard," You teased him further.

Taehyun replied by burying his face in your neck.

"Happy Valentines Day baby. Lets believe in love again."

The next day when you woke up to a naked Taehyun sleeping peacefully beside you. You had to pinch yourself to convince yourself that this wasn't a dream.

Never in a million years you thought such a disastrous day could have such a perfect ending.

Taking a sip of the cold chocolate milk from the night before, you started down at his beautiful face.

He gently stirred beside you, eyes opening slowly.

"Good morning, you're real" He speaks in a hoarse voice, eyelids still heavy with sleep.

"Yes Tyun, I am" You smiled at his cute state.

Taehyun pulled you closer to his side and whispered in your hair, "Did I tell you, you make all my problems go away"

"Speaking of problems-" You started but were cut off by the loud bang of a door opening.

"Hey Taehyun, Did Y/n come here- WHAT THE FUCK MY POOR EYES. DO YOU TWO NOT KNOW THERE ARE OTHER PEOPLE LIVING IN THIS HOUSE" Yeonjun screamed covering his eyes.

You giggled at Yeonjun's mortifying reaction and slipped yourself deeper into the sheets.

"You're the one walking in without knocking, get the fuck out yeonjun" Taehyun screamed back, throwing a pillow at his direction.

[lelengerine]

sweet dream

pairing | jaemin x reader

synopsis | the time wherein you told jaemin about a dream, just because you felt like it — alternatively labeled as jaemin fluff stacked upon even more jaemin fluff.

genre | established relationship au, pretty much domestic jaemin because i am so soft for him pls, purely tooth rotting fluff, mentions of food, use of nicknames for reader (princess)

wc | 0.5k

notes | wrote this during my break since i had a sponty urge to write about jaem (even though im currently writing a fic for him that’s way longer than anything i’ve written so far), so take this as a little peace offering for the time i’ve been away hehe <3 thank you sm for the support you guys give me and i’ll be fully back soon!! likes, rbs, and feedback are always appreciated :>

m.list

“nana, guess what!” your presence floats over jaemin’s shoulder, his figure lounging comfortably on the couch.

he lets out a chuckle from your sudden burst of enthusiasm, craning his head to get a better look at you. from your appearance alone, he could tell you had just woken up from that nap you told him about an hour ago, hair fluffed up and cheeks slightly puffy. “what is it, princess?”

the overwhelming feeling of heat creeps up your face as you shy away, still not used to him calling you by that nickname. “i… i just wanted to tell you i had a really good dream while napping is all.” 

“oh? you told me you haven’t experienced any good dreams in a while.” you seem to have piqued his interest as he gestures you to sit on his lap. with hesitant steps, you shuffle your feet, rounding the corner of the couch before finding comfort in your boyfriend’s embrace. “now go on, tell me all about it.” he eases you in sweetly, brushing a few strands of hair away from your face.

you take a glance out the window, trying to piece together your story before saying it aloud. “i dreamt that we went to a pretty cafe on a windy day, much like the weather outside right now.” you point out, earning a small hum from jaemin. “we ate some macarons by a window seat, and you got this caramel macchiato to try, but you also said you kind of preferred one with a stronger hit of coffee, so i had you order another one because i could just finish your first order instead!”

you ramble off further, not forgetting to note any of the details that miraculously stuck to you in your slumber, and all jaemin’s doing is admiring you with a dopey grin. seeing you talk about the little joys in your life just warmed him up inside, even if you did go off track most of the time.

“hey- were you even listening to what i was saying?” you eventually catch him in the act, and all he can do is nod along to your words. “you were taking about how you wanted fairy lights in our home like in the cafe you dreamt about, right?”

“oh so you were listening.” you playfully poke at his chest, a satisfied chuckle leaving your lips, an action he gladly mirrors. “the dream was pretty mundane, yet it stuck out to me for some reason. guess i just like spending time with you.”

“i like spending time with you too, princess.” he mumbles out softly before nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, and you feel the tip of his nose lightly brush against your skin.

“that tickles, nana!” you exclaim, trying to cheekily push jaemin away, yet your efforts are no to avail as he wraps his arms around you with no plans of letting you go.

“if you love spending time with me, then why don’t we just stay like this for a while.” he peers up, a mischievous grin on his face that only leaves you with one answer.

“i’d like that.” you bring your hands up to his cheeks, cupping them gently before placing a peck on his lips. “i’d like that a lot.”

[mimi-cee-genshin]

Denial is Futile: Wanderer x f!reader - Chapter 5

Read on AO3 | Series Masterlist | Taglist

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Summary:

What would you do if you were stuck with Wanderer indefinitely?

The cute and sweet guy from the bazaar was brought to your place while unconscious. But when he woke up, you were appalled by the amount of snark he had. Was he even the same person? And now you were stuck with him because he could literally die if he stopped holding your hand. You weren't sure if you could tolerate him any longer. Little did you know he was exactly the type of person you needed in your life.

Other info: Fluff, humor, sfw, enemies to lovers, some hurt/comfort and angst later, character growth, occurs after the version 3.3 Archon quest and Tighnari's story quest, female reader

Word count: 2.8k

*****

"She seems okay," Baizhu informed Nahida. "Her heart rate is on the low side, but it's still within the normal range."

Wanderer watched your eyes; they were avoiding Baizhu's as well. Now that made the three of them if he included himself and Nahida. Your behavior ever since you regained consciousness was strange to say the least.

When you first woke up, you didn't get up. You laid there lifeless with no will left in your body. Your eyes were open, but your hand laid limp in his. He didn't think much of it at first. It wasn't strange for a weak human like you who had recently gained consciousness, so he chided at you about something like the weather as if you were fine.

And then you smiled.

You claimed you were surprised he was still there, all while staring at the wall behind him. It was as if making eye contact with him would cause you harm. He was faced with a blank mask displaying nothing but the outline of a smile.

"You're lucky Baizhu was here in Sumeru City," said Changsheng. "It seems we have to reschedule our meeting with Tighnari."

"Sorry," you replied. Your smile didn't reach your eyes and you didn't look at her either. Your attempt at feigning happiness was rather pathetic. Still, Baizhu continued with your assessment.

"I am limited in the range of tests I can perform," he said. "They may cause unintended side effects considering your current situation with Wanderer. From what I can tell, further testing would be unnecessary."

"Thank you, Baizhu," you told him, avoiding his gaze as well. "I guess this is all we can do for now."

Just how long were you going to act like this? As Baizhu listed some precautionary measures for you to follow, you stared down and fiddled with the blanket.

Wanderer grabbed your chin and turned your face towards him.

Whack.

"What do you think you're doing?" you said after slapping his hand away.

You glared at him. Perfect.

"Weren't you taught to look at the person you're talking to?" he asked you.

"What?"

"It's rude."

"You're one to talk," you said.

"Hmph."

"You literally yanked my face just to make me look at you."

"Do you even notice how you were acting just now? I guess you're even more dim-witted than I thought."

"Ugh! You–"

"All right. That's quite enough, you two," Baizhu said. "Wanderer, you shouldn't be agitating a patient. Especially not one you're dependent on."

"Hmph." At least you were human again. Maybe now you'd return to the task at hand: finding a way to sever himself from you.

"Before you forget," Changsheng told Baizhu, "there was one more observation you've forgotten to mention, wasn't there?"

"Ah yes." Baizhu turned to you. "The energy around your heart is a little peculiar. Unfortunately, I cannot ascertain if you were born with this condition or if it's due to your current situation with Wanderer. It's also possible that it's caused by some other unknown factor."

Your heart? Wanderer certainly didn't expect this. You were an ordinary human being in his eyes, but perhaps this was why you had the ability to keep him conscious.

"Have you ever experienced symptoms such as these before?" asked Baizhu. "Fainting spells, palpitations... or perhaps extreme fatigue?"

"I don't think I have." You scratched your head. "I'm fairly healthy and something like this hasn't –Wait a moment…"

You rose to your feet and reached for the projector, pulling Wanderer along in the process.

"What do you think you're doing?" Wanderer raised his brow. The projector lit up the wall once again.

"Shhh! I need to find it."

"You're shushing me?"

"Could you just be quiet?" you said, already in the middle of scanning through his memories. "I'm going to lose this thought because of you."

You fast forwarded his time at Tatarasuna with a glimpse of the furnace from the projector. Then you continued all the way to the time he met The Doctor before rewinding again.

"So what exactly are you looking for?" he asked.

"Something in Inazuma. Something… looked familiar," you said. "It was pink. Maybe leaves?"

"There are sakura trees everywhere in Inazuma," he noted, rolling his eyes. "Are you seriously trying to find something with that tiny piece of information?"

"Well… I think I remember red buildings too."

The projector revealed the time when he arrived at the shores of Inazuma City after withstanding the storm. He sighed. His past search for help to save the people of Tatarasuna was a waste of time.

In the images, Kabukimono traveled to the Tenshukaku and arrived at the gate, pleading to speak with the Almighty Shogun. You rewinded and played this scene several times.

"I've… I've been here before," you said, squinting your eyes at the projected image. "Where is this?"

"Weren't you just talking about red buildings?" asked Wanderer.

"Could you just answer the question?" you said, glaring at him.

He sighed. "This is on Narukami Island. More specifically, this is the Tenshukaku in Inazuma City."

"What?" you said. "But I've never been to the city before."

"Aren't you an Inazuman?"

"Yes... I can't believe you assumed every Inazuman has been to the city."

Wanderer let out a sigh. "Always picking a fight I see. It was a simple question. Why are you so offended?"

"I see that those two have quite the temperament," said Baizhu.

"Indeed," replied Nahida.

The scene continued as Kabukimono waited for days in the rain. Footsteps rushed towards him and a pink umbrella reached over. At this point, he had given up hope.

"Wait!" you exclaimed, pointing to Yae Miko on the screen. "I know her!"

"What?"

"A tree…" you muttered to yourself. "In front of a large tree, she was talking to my b-brother..."

You lowered your eyes and bit your lip. Your shoulders went stiff as well. Yet, you held yourself together with whatever was going through your mind and continued your explanation.

"I… uh, I don't remember much else," you said, pausing to clear your throat. "I think I struggled to stay conscious when I was there for some reason. And there was a weird bitter taste in my mouth afterwards."

"I see," replied Baizhu. "So being unconscious reminded you of this memory?"

"But I haven't passed out like this in a long time," you added. "It actually happened regularly when I was a child. And it... just stopped one day I guess."

Baizhu placed a hand on his chin. "Hmm… It seems to me that the bitter taste may have been from an herbal remedy known to treat certain diseases," he said. "My patients often complain about it due to its distinct and unpleasant taste. It's a sort of antibiotic with a wide range of applications. It's even taken for post-operative situations."

"I see…" Nahida pondered to herself. "This is a bit unrelated, but didn't Tighnari mention that one of Wanderer's organs is failing? Or at least, that was his theory. Maybe he needs a replacement part."

"Hmph," said Wanderer. "If I need a replacement part, it means I should go see the woman who created me." He let out a sigh. "Unfortunately, going back to Inazuma isn't exactly on the top of my list of things to do. It's not like she would remember me anyway. I'd rather keep it that way."

"But visiting the Electro Archon seems like the next logical step," said Nahida. "Or maybe the two of you could go to the Grand Narukami Shrine to see if Yae Miko can help find a solution."

"So we show up at the shrine on one fine sunny day and then what?" said Wanderer. "She's not the type to bend over backwards when a random person shows up with a request."

"You never know unless you try," replied Nahida.

"Neither of them remember me nor would they care to help someone in need. We'll find a different way."

"Well… since you're not the only one who'll be affected by this decision, why don't we ask Y/n?" suggested Nahida.

Now that Wanderer's attention turned to you, he noticed you'd gone silent again. Your eyes were lowered and your grip around his hand was firmer than usual.

"I want nothing to do with the Electro Archon," you said.

*****

The sun found a crack in the roof to shine through, just so it could find your eyes in the morning. Turning over on the bed, you saw Wanderer sitting with crossed legs on the floor, awake as ever. It would've startled you if you weren't used to it by now.

"Don't you ever get bored like that?" you asked.

"Hmph. Humans just have such short attention spans."

"Good morning to you too," you said dryly.

Neither of you said a word about Inazuma ever since that meeting. Why would you when that Archon had caused so much misery? You never understood why your brother was grateful to her.

You and Wanderer had an unspoken agreement: you'd focus on your lead with Tighnari instead. You didn't care much about Wanderer's reasons for avoiding the Archon, but if he was on the same page as you, that was all that mattered.

"Your hair is a mess," Wanderer commented.

"You think I didn't know that," you replied, rolling your eyes. "You tell me every morning."

You didn't bother fixing it and, instead, walked to your desk to scan your calendar. Collei was coming back to Sumeru, likely even here already. Unfortunately, this meant you'd be sleeping on the floor again, but it was by choice. You couldn't bear the thought of using the bed at her expense even if she wouldn't care.

You picked up the extra sleeping bag Tighnari left for you and held it out to Wanderer.

He raised his brow before rolling his eyes and helping you lay down the bag.

That was when something caught your eye. A soft, round object, which looked like a face and hair had been sewn onto it, laid on the floor under Wanderer's blanket. You picked it up and saw it was a small doll that was slightly larger than your hand.

Wanderer snatched it from you.

"Is it yours?" you asked.

"Whose would it be then?" he said.

"Was it a gift?"

"No."

"Then did you make it?"

He didn't give you an answer, only a huff as he placed it in his pocket. So Nilou wasn't just being nice when she complimented him on his needlework. You didn't expect he had a talent for that.

After fixing your hair, you unzipped your bag and placed a few notebooks and pens inside. Tighnari said he wanted us to meet him in Pardis Dhyai today. He got a hold of someone who might be able to help us.

Then we wouldn't have to go to Inazuma.

You were glad that Wanderer wasn't thrilled about the idea either, although after learning about his past made you realize you misunderstood him. You thought it was a reasonable conclusion that his vision caused the change in his personality. How were you supposed to know he had lost and gotten back his memories?

So which one was his real personality?

"Why are you staring at me?" he asked as the two of you walked towards Pardis Dhyai.

"You really don't do small talk," you commented. He was silent this entire time.

"Well, there's really no point to it, is there?" he said.

"It's a way for people to get to know each other," you said.

"What? Are you interested in me now?"

You placed your hand on your forehead. You couldn't believe you had a crush on him at one point. "Where the heck did you get that idea–"

A scream came from the forest.

"C- Collei?"

A drop of sweat formed on your brow. It couldn't be her, could it? With her skills and experience, nothing fazed her in the forest. Not usually at least.

"It did sound familiar," mentioned Wanderer.

"You know her?" you asked.

His lips turned into a scowl. "Does that even matter right now when we know that–"

"Don't touch me!"

Collei!

Your legs picked up speed and raced toward the forest. Wanderer tugged you hard by your arm and swung you onto his back.

"Grab on," he said, activating his vision and floating in the air.

He flew through the forest at full speed as you clung onto his neck. The wind pushed your hair back as he maneuvered around several trees and branches.

A forest ranger was trapped under a fallen trunk while an Electro Fatui skirmisher held onto Collei's arm. She couldn't escape his grasp.

Wanderer released his skill and fell like a meteor to kick down the skirmisher's head at an angle. This launched the three of you several feet away from the fallen tree trunk as a puff of dust surrounded you.

"Collei!" you yelled out, climbing off of Wanderer's back. "Are you okay?" You couldn't see her with all the debris in the air.

"Y/n?" asked Collei with a quiver in her voice. "H-how are you–"

"Have a load of this!"

A bullet came towards Wanderer and you pulled him aside and stretched out your hand in front. It just missed your hand, but its fire burned your arm. You pulled it back in pain and clicked your tongue for relying on that 'curse' once again.

"Why would you do that?" Wanderer yelled at you. "Are you eager for a death wish?"

The debris settled and the Pyro Fatui skirmisher took aim once more, but Collei's blazing green arrow shot him first.

"Ugh. Humans are such feeble creatures," Wanderer continued to scold you. "You're no better than insects."

"Hey!" the forest ranger called out to him. "Bring her here." A bubble of water formed above his hand as he laid on the ground.

Wanderer carried you over before launching the tree off of him. He stretched out his arm, ready for another attack.

The forest ranger cooled your arm with the water and soothed the burn that stretched from your wrist to your elbow. So this was what a burn felt like. Yet you could tell it was only skin deep.

"Let's end this quickly!" said the Electrohammer skirmisher.

He wasn't knocked out yet?

Collei dodged his attack, launched herself off a low hanging branch and shot his weak point.

The Pyro Fatui aimed at her again.

"Forget my arm," you said, climbing onto Wanderer's back. "We have to help her!"

He flew towards the gunner and struck him with his wind blades. He continued to fight them with Collei providing cover from a distance.

It was strange. Others were doing the fighting for you as you clung onto Wanderer's back. Yet though you were defenseless, you weren't not dismayed.

The Fatui were now subdued and tied up. Collei took a look at your arm and verified it was a first degree burn but you would still need more aid.

"I'm sorry I let this happen to you," she told you. "I wasn't able to hold my bow steady at first because I… I was a bit shaken up."

This was the girl who was fearless against creatures multiple times her size. You couldn't blame her for getting scared this one time.

"I… wanted to be able to protect everyone," said Collei. "I'll work harder next time."

"There's no need to push yourself," said Wanderer. "It isn't exactly lucky for you to have a run-in with the Fatui." He took a sigh that held a measure of heaviness with it.

The more you observed Wanderer, the more caring he seemed. You were previously blinded by your anger and projected your past onto him. He was still rather rude and abrasive, especially when provoked. But glimpses of the guy you saw when you first met were still there.

"I'll take him with me back to Gandharva Ville," Collei said as she placed the forest ranger's arm over her shoulder. "It'll be easier to treat him there."

"Alright," you said. "We'll stay here until you get someone to help deal with them. Although, I think now we're late for our meeting with Tighnari in Pardis Dhyai.

"I see," she said. "In that case, we'll go there instead to update him on the situation."

After Collei left with the limping forest ranger, Wanderer squeezed hard on your uninjured hand.

"Ow! What the heck are you doing?"

"Sit," he commanded with his eyes glaring at you.

You heeded his word and promptly sat down on the ground. He took the bandages from the first aid pack that Collei left and loosely wrapped them around your burn.

Your heart skipped a beat.

Your eyes widened, your breath hitched and you placed a hand on your chest. The feeling in your gut told you that something was terribly wrong.

Yet, you pretended like it never happened.

*****

Thanks for reading! Here's Chapter 6 >

[firespirited]

everywhere but here, I am the mom.

not the 'mom friend', not fun aunt or godmother, the big sister type you go to when you're at the end of your tether and you need a mom to clean up something nasty, kill a spider, unload on someone who can handle it and not make it about them, help you pull the trigger on a hard decision you've already taken but haven't accepted. I make things happen, I connect people, I do mediation and emotional prep; I tell people their full options and help them weigh it all up. You were pondering it for a while but you left here with a lawyer's appointment and a loan we both know is a 'pay it forward' gift. I carry the secrets and the bad memories so it makes sense you move on without me when all's well. The big sister thing means I feel like family and shelter but not really like an everyday friend

Here, I get to be Saffy, bit of a klutz, silly brained with a childlike wonder for creatures and well-designed things who can talk about fear of crowds, slowly healing the relationship with my own mum, I watch horror and post about my dog. That's who I want to be, a large facet of who I am internally buuut life rarely fits the idea we have of ourselves does it?

Part of repairing the imbalanced relationship with mum was letting her do some protective mothering so i can fill the desperate ache to have one person in the world who has my back, while making my support of her more streamlined and unspoken. You know the concept of the toilet paper fairy who makes loo roll appear and always knows when to buy more, that but for groceries, electronics and paperwork, and big decisions we carry together but it has to be very businesslike and unemotional: she's as much a big sweetheart as she is fiercely independent (and ashamed/angry her daughter had to carry half the load). So now she's the one who notices or who I go to when the world has asked me to be The Mom again.

I imagine it's a lot like gay penguins: there's an ecological vacuum of big sister-mom types and some of us just have the vibes.

This winter I've done a metric ton of non-judgmental, non-condescending temporary 'parenting' of women with parents who are gone or who can't handle it and friends who aren't friends-for-that-kinda-thing. I'm really good at it, at weathering a storm for someone and being an anchor. It doesn't hurt any more because mum can be an emotional mum to me.

but I'm never sure how to talk about it here between dolls and shitposts and if i'm not specific... I mean... "chronically ill/special needs person currently or previously in abusive relationship with parent/partner who takes a while to realize and accept abuse isn't just fists but sleep depravation and symptom minimization and all sorts of tiny things that add up to life-threatening injury to the body and mind" applies to many of us dollblr folks as it does like 80% of my social circle offline.

and there's no way of saying that being around some folks is like experiencing a slow motion train wreck without sounding like an asshole.

I am that asshole.

I am goatsed out and want to be a hermit.

Did I tell you guys my doctor vented for 45 minutes about having to put her "dumbass hysterical" sister (deaf and never put in school) into care and the paperwork involved in getting disability (the thing that took me 14 years and she got her sister's transferred in 3 weeks). and I truly empathize but that wasn't very professional and your sister is a person. please.

and I can't cut M out of my life now that her kid is, as predicted, like her (and the facebook-chosen not-yet-divorced deadbeat-dad of 3 special needs kids), an adorable barely verbal two-year-old. She won't be able to navigate special needs care alone but she's still staunchly anti-vax and had a diatribe of ableism mixed with mystical pseudoscience for me, interspersed with thanks for being more family to her than her sister in helping her know how to leave a bad relationship. hokay not making this easy.

S is going to be on the hook for tax evasion if she stays with the shady useless guy she's been babying (and resenting) for 20 years solely because she doesn't like to do activities alone. three times now I've been cornered for the vent sesh. I am sitting on the floor the next time, I need blood in my brain to emote properly. and that unneutered bulldog living in the south is a crime, it can't breathe it can't think, it's all hormones and anxiety covered in fur, of course it's a nuisance around the house.

and there's more but i'm tired of typing and thinking.

[vickyvicarious]

Lucy walks more than ever, and each night I am awakened by her moving about the room. Fortunately, the weather is so hot that she cannot get cold; but still the anxiety and the perpetually being wakened is beginning to tell on me, and I am getting nervous and wakeful myself. 

So it begins... while there's currently no supernatural influence, Lucy's sleepwalking is an obvious element of that theme of sleep popping up again. But it's not only Lucy experiencing it: in caring for her, Mina is actually even more sleep-deprived, and it's making her all the more stressed herself. No one is getting truly restful sleep, but for all the walking about Lucy may actually be coming closest at the moment.

Mr. Holmwood has been suddenly called to Ring to see his father, who has been taken seriously ill.

I shan't spoil anything for new readers here, but at least here goes the hope of Arthur being able to escape from the worry everyone else is experiencing. Not only can he not come join them and cheer them up like Lucy may have been hoping, but in fact he now is burdened emotionally as well. And with something much more serious than any potential wedding jitters, meaning Lucy won't want to tell him anything at all to make him concerned over her. I expect she's sent him a letter today all about how he should take his time caring for his father and not worry about canceling the plan to visit. After all, she is having a grand old time even without him, Whitby is so charming and it's lovely to be with Mina and everyone is having so much fun... He should let her know if she can do anything at all to cheer him up, but for starters maybe if she tells him a few stories he can distract himself by feeling jealous of what he's missing out on! Why just yesterday... etc., with her cherry-picking all the good moments of the vacation and failing to mention her sleepwalking or anything else worrisome. Trying to protect him too.

Lucy frets at the postponement of seeing him, but it does not touch her looks; she is a trifle stouter, and her cheeks are a lovely rose-pink. She has lost that anæmic look which she had. I pray it will all last.

Two things: first, I adore chubby Lucy and Arthur, and I'm claiming this line as evidence. I also love it being linked to health and vitality here.

Second: ....oh dear. That final line hits as much as the Captain's "All well." a few days ago, and I fear will prove just as false.

[pastafossa]

Thanks you so much @teigo-the-explorer for the tag! This makes a good break from work and/or chapter writing!

PART ONE

Are you named after anyone: I am not! Though fam did intentionally choose a name that couldn’t be shortened to a nickname or rhymed with anything.

when was the last time you cried? Yesterday when I was editing a sad section of my TRT outline to make it MORE sad, RIP me and all of you when we hit that point

do you have kids? Nope and I’ve gone so far as to have my tubes incinerated

do you use sarcasm a lot: NEVER

what's the first thing you notice about people? Whether they have a dog. But if you mean on their person, usually if they have a cool shirt! Bodywise: eyes.

what's your eye colour: Blue-green!

scary movies or happy endings: I like them both but if I HAD to choose I’d go happy endings

any special talents: According to my woodcarving teacher, I’m excellent at carving! I managed to carve 5 projects in a week on my first go, including a couple of the more difficult projects he’d set out for more experienced carvers. FINALLY, A VISUAL ART I’M GOOD AT. I’m also really good at just eyeballing a wall and figuring out how a bunch of hung frames will look good without having to draw it out!

where were you born? Los Angeles! It’s one reason I chose it for Ciro and Jane’s history in TRT - it meant I had to do less research since I was familiar with the area. I already knew a lot of landmarks, geography, culture, weather/environment, and speech patterns.

what are your hobbies?: woodcarving, reading, writing, video games, cooking, traveling whenever I can, movies and tv!

have any pets?: I do! 3 cats, 1 dog, and 1 snake!

what sports do you play/have played?: Oh god I tried a lot of them and my skills are... very much elsewhere. When I was a kid I tried soccer (fast but bad at kicking), ballet (teacher told my parents I had a future in the performing arts, just not dance), baseball (can’t hit a ball to save my life). I did have some success with horseback riding though! I did some trail and a little barrel racing for about ten years, and it is by far the most advanced I ever got with a sport.

how tall are you?: 5′5-5′6 depending on my anxiety level

favourite subject in school?: English, I loved English class. 

dream job?: Due to health problems I’m a little limited in what I can do. If I was healthy, zoologist/marine biologist. As I am, author!

PART TWO

first ship: Oh god, uuuuh let me think. Loosely was probably April x Casey in TMNT since that was my favorite movie as a kid. First active ship that I openly rooted for... maybe Rogue and Gambit from X-Men TAS, like damn I was a kid but I WANTED them together SO FUCKING BAD like why is she hooked on fucking Scott (i hated scott) when she has Gambit RIGHT THERE, RIGHT FUCKING THERE GIRL.

three ships: Since most everyone knows my Marvel ships, I’ll step outside it and go with - Troi x Worf (Star Trek: TNG), Cecil x Carlos (most wholesome ship ever courtesy Welcome to Nightvale), and Leslie Knope x Ben Wyatt (Parks and Recreation)

last (current) song: Flu Game by Fall Out Boy not me playing this album on loop since it came out last week

last movie: San Andreas, don’t judge me

currently reading: Re-reading Taggerung by Brian Jacques, which is my favorite Redwall book and the first Redwall book I ever picked up! I was at a book fair and came around a corner and saw this FUCKING BADASS PIRATE OTTER??? WITH A KNIFE??? AND TATTOOS AND PIERCINGS, IT WAS SO COOL I PICKED IT UP WITHOUT LOOKING AT THE SUMMARY CAUSE WHO CARES, PIRATE OTTER PIRATE OTTER TINY PASTA WANTS TO READ ABOUT PIRATE OTTERSSSSSSSS SERIOUSLY LOOK AT THIS COVER AND TELL ME YOU WOULDN’T READ THIS

currently watching: The Mandalorian, shiny space husband make brain go brrrrrr

currently consuming: Just water LOL 

currently craving: SUNSHINE BUT IT IS CLOUDY

__________

I'm tagging

@wonderlandmind4 @shadeblade16​ @intricate-melody​ @softasawhisper​ and anyone else who wants to do this!

_________

[nectardaddy]

Thirteen Years [Porco Galliard x reader] 9

You won't marry a dead man. The words turning over and twisting in your mind as you sat in the cold. No matter how many times repeated, your mind couldn't wrap itself around the thought. The idea of marrying Porco seeming like an enigma - the impossible idea of love you longed for and suddenly receiving it seemed puzzling. Though, it excited you. The mere thought of being on the receiving end of his affection awoke a warm feeling inside. One you desired for so long.

You were pulled from your thoughts by a front door opening and closing, a slew of swearing following shortly after. You perched yourself on the Galliard's roof earlier, the cold only bothering you for a few minutes, per the arrangement Porco suggested the latter day. You wrapped yourself in his jacket as well as a blanket, the cool weather forcing you to bundle up. Hearing him step up each rung of the ladder gave you a foreign excitement, an excitement to see him that you never felt before.

Grey eyes soon met with your own as his head finally became visible over the edge of the building; however, he quickly averted them as he stepped onto the roof. The excitement you felt quickly shifted to a thick layer of tension and awkwardness. What was there to say? How do two people talk to each other after the day they just experienced? "You showed up?" You heard him ask rhetorically, although adoration swept him up as the wind blew past in the night.

The cuts and bruises from his previous altercation were now long gone; only a few hours had past, but with no scars it felt so much as a memory rather than present. The young man dawned a thick, gray sweater; however, he still brought along a blanket - still warm from being folding and placed next the fireplace in his home. The warmth of the blanket against his skin, and now in the current situation, burned. He felt if he held it a moment longer, he'd melt. Cheeks hot and flustered from the long awaited conversation he itched to have, though it made him nauseous to think about.

His boots clicked against the roof until he stopped just before you, lowering to sit next to you in the thick silence. "I, uh-" he began but stumbled over his words, biting his tongue at what he wished to say. "I'm glad you came," he said softly.

Looking over at him, you smiled softly. You could tell his thoughts were eating away at him, and just how badly he wanted to express himself. However, you knew the man wouldn't simply tell you; he kept everything bottled up inside and hidden away. His heart and soul seemed trapped in their own respective cages, clawing and gnashing to be released but never earning the chance. "Porco," you began, "you don't have to be scared to talk to me." Your smile faltered as his eyes connected with yours, almost seeing the gears turning within his mind. "A lot has happened today and-" however your sentence was cut short by the man next to you.

"I'm sorry," he blurted out. He felt as if he were taking a sledgehammer to the walls he'd built for years and years, only it felt relieving for it to happen with you. "I'm so fucking sorry for everything. For the way I acted, for making you break up a fight, for making you cry, for putting you through all this shit, for leaving you alone, for not checking up on you as often as I should, and for not realizing you are the best damn thing that has ever happened to me."

He took a deep breath as he looked over at you and continued. "I thought about you every single day while I was training, even while I got the living shit kicked out of me. That whole time I never knew why, I didn't even realize just how stupid I am until last night. Because, (F/n)(L/n), I am so god damn in love with you it scares me." His eyes were glassy and his breathing uneven, he stopped speaking even though he had so much left to say. "I love you" was enough at the moment, that was all he needed so the crippling feeling of guilt and anxiety would finally pass.

His statement sending a shockwave of emotions through you that you never believed he would reciprocate. "I don't think you realize just how long I've waited to hear you say that, Porco." Your voice was soft, but so full of adoration and love that every word was clear as day. You gently placed your hand on his cheek, a smile gracing your lips as you continued. "Because you are the best thing that has ever happened to me," although you repeated what he said to you previously, you meant every word. Porco felt himself hanging onto every word you spoke, every word and syllable lifting him up into a feeling of euphoria. "I love you too," your words sounded almost giddy, a laugh ringing within the tone of your voice as you spoke. The sheer joy of being able to say those four words where enough to last a life time, and laughing was the only way you knew how to express such joy. "Never in a million years did I think I would be able to say that to you." The calm demeanor you once held slowly shifted to one of excitement, mirroring that of small child giddy for candy or a new toy. The hand you placed on his cheek was now met with another on the opposite, holding his face in your hands ever so gently. "I love you Porco Galliard."

Porco's mind went blank as he heard his own feelings being reciprocated by the only person that mattered to him in this life. His mind was quiet; no anxiety, no guilt, no pain, and no worries plagued him as he looked in your eyes. The tears that were welled in his eyes from pouring his heart out just moments ago finally fell; however, he let out a small, but elated, laugh. It had always puzzled him why people began to cry from happiness or joy, what could have possibly made someone so emotional to cry when so joyous? He now knew why as he experienced it for himself. The build up of such a powerful emotion had no where else to go, so he smiled as tear after tear dripped down his face and onto your hands that comforted him. The only thought that passed his mind as his tears fell was as his eyes flickered from your lips back to your eyes, kiss them, rang through his mind like bell chime.

Kiss them. His thoughts became louder as it repeated in his mind, turning it over and over as if to build up the confidence needed to do such an action. His cheeks became hot as he swallowed hard and drew closer to you, thinking to himself that waiting was his downfall so why do it now? He hadn't the time to spend second guessing and changing his mind anymore, every second of his shortened life counted. Every second, minute, hour, and day he had with you he wouldn't dare take it for granted, the revelation that unfolded was the catalyst of this new found confidence he had in loving you. He felt your hands slowly shift to the nape of his neck as he moved, his movements being gentle but sudden enough to cause you to adjust. His face inches away from your own, he paused a moment, taking in every possible detail he could through teary eyes.

Your eyes scanned his pale features and you held your breath in anticipation. His actions made it clear what he wished to do; however, the moment he paused made you feel dizzy and hot. Cheeks flushed and your eyes looking to the man, who's cheeks were still wet with tears, for a silent explanation as to why he hesitated. For a moment you thought he paused as to ask for permission, but the man's eyes seemed to capture every feature of yours. There was a foreign tension around the situation that neither of you could even begin to explain. The want, or rather the need, to be touched and loved and affectionate with the other superseded any other thought that may have passed. The feeling that Porco's hand gave as he crept up your side, past your shoulders, and settled to you cheek was enthralling. Never before had a man's touch made you feel so weak or fragile, but the small strokes his thumb caressed on your cheek were enough to make you buckle. "Kiss me," you whispered, thinking anything louder would ruin such a moment with the closeness of it all.

He hummed at the permission you granted him, though he only paused to simply look at you. "I plan to," he whispered back with a smile, "but god you are beautiful." His compliment fanned the fire that you felt inside you, bubbling up and making your cheeks hot. A moment passed before he finally leaned closer and his eyes fluttered closed, tearing himself away from being so mesmerized by you, and capturing your lips with his own. His kiss was eager but gentle, feeling the years of bottled up emotions all in one single moment. The neediness from the both of you was apparent, every now and then grasping each other and trying to pull one another closer. It was a need that made him smile against your lips every time you would gently pull on his sweater; a need that made you giggle within breaths every time he would pull you in by your waist. It was a need that was foreign but exciting.

Neither of you were aware how much, or how little, time had passed. You were only aware of how little space was now in between the two of you as Porco pulled away. He was breathless and his cheeks painted red, but no longer a single tear in sight. In the course of events you were pulled into his lap, not disagreeing in the slightest as you were too preoccupied with the blissful feelings at that given moment. But as he pulled away, both parties became all too aware of their positions, though neither moved. "Y'know," he began. "I think my mother would probably kill me if she saw us like this," the lightheartedness of his statement making you both laugh. Although the moment you both shared was serious, it seemed to have brought back the Porco you knew from before. The man that wasn't anxiety riddled with responsibilities and a duty to uphold. "However," he began with a smile, his cheeks still dusted with a pink hue. "I think she'd definitely kill me if she knew I was inviting you in for the night." His eyes met yours again with a hopeful gaze.

Your stomach grew tight at his offer, although you knew you could decline without issue - you didn't want to decline. Every ounce of your being screamed at you not to decline. "She wouldn't kill her darling baby boy," you mocked and he rolled his eyes. His mother would always look at her youngest as her baby, to her he could never grow up no matter how big he got. And much to his embarrassment, she conveyed this often. "But-" you started, giving him a reassuring smile, "it is cold out here and I really don't feel like walking home."

"And it would be awfully cold in bed alone," he added. His hands gingerly moved to the collar of his jacket you dawned. He carefully fixed it then pulled the fabric closer together further down, closing the gap that was there from it being unbuttoned. Once again, he couldn't help but let his eyes wander to the red arm band of his own uniform that contrasted your own. The blood red fabric made part of him felt sick knowing you would never experience such freedoms as he did, the other grateful you'd never have to experience such horrors that was being a Titan. "I worry for you. . ." he said softly. Your eyes followed his gaze, and you looked down at the arm band. The one thing that made you vastly different from the man before you.

"I could say the same to you." You took hold of his hands that still hung on to the jacket, intertwining your fingers and sighing. "Marleyans are worse to you than to us I've heard. "Parading you around like a circus monkey until they need you, putting you right in harms way, then praying to whatever god there is that you don't die then and there so they can keep using you - thus the cycle continues." Although your words were harsh, no anger or resentment was towards the blonde, only to the people that forced it to be this way. 

"I do it to keep everyone I love alive." His words were sharp, edged like a sword and you were taken aback. Porco didn't mean to be so brash, but he was never the man to have a way with words, nor be able to say them in the right way. But his words were true, although his tone faltered and his tongue sharp. "I just-" he started to explain, "I want everyone to be able to live a normal life. You, my parents, my friends. . . Anyone who did this for themselves is insane. I did this to be able to say I helped keep everyone from fear, 'to protect the people I love." 

With a deep breath, he closed his eyes, "no one wants to always be on the brink of death. But if that means you, and everyone else, can live a normal life, I'll take my chances.

[valiantwombatpanda]

I pass out a lot so here are my tips. Sometimes, I just KNOW it will happen and there's nothing that can be done. I started passing out before having an ED, so I'm a little bit of a pro 😅

1. Right before I pass out I get that *feeling.* it usually starts with black spots, tingling by my jaw/neck, a heaviness in my body and cold sweats. LEARN TO RECOGNIZE YOUR BODY'S CUE.

2. The moment you get the *feeling* sit down. It doesn't matter if you're on the floor. I once pretended to investigate Mac and cheese on the very bottom shelf of a grocery store because I rather have a small fall than a big one and risk a head injury. That would make it a much bigger deal to others around you and that's a sticky situation to get out of. If you are with a friend, explain that everything is fine, this happens from time to time, and not to worry. If they ask if they are supposed to do anything, tell them to just keep you company or ask them to get something for you. Don't panic or make a big deal because they will DEFINITELY panic.

3. I usually have room temp water with me to take REALLY small sips of, and if I can make it to a fan, I try to do that as quickly as my body will allow.

4. Doing steps 1-3 has helped with not falling unconscious, but it's also important to breathe, stay calm, and allow your body to fall unconscious if need be. It will only be for a few seconds and you'll probably wake up without even realizing you were unconscious. You can not focus too harshly on the symptoms because that can cause anxiety and worsen the situation. Just breathe and trust that your body is WANTING to fall unconscious for a reset. You will be okay. I can't explain how important it is to recognize when to try and overcome it and when to let go. Fighting it can sometimes cause the whole thing to drag out minutes longer than it has to vs. Letting go can cut the experience in half.

5. You can not always rely on communication to others. As someone who has experienced fainting since i was an elementary student, i ask for help when it is NEEDED.. sometimes you have to. But again, you can not rely on others to help or to even be there. There have been times I've passed out in public and didn't have the energy to ask for help (I was in a parking lot in 95+ weather. Someone eventually noticed), there have been times my voice is too small and too muffled for anyone else to understand me properly and because of my current state i can't do anything about it, there have been MORE times where I am completely alone and I had to learn how to handle it by myself.

Some things I carry for AFTER:

Deodorant, perfume, and some kind of wipe because cold sweats are gross. If possible, I will keep a spare shirt in my car or even in a sandwich ziploc in my purse.

Have an easy snack available. Nothing salty or tough to chew. Apple slices are great. I've noticed the juice and the easy crunch helps me feel better.

Water! Always have water with you. If you don't like carrying a million things like I do, make sure you have a $5 bill with you. You can buy water, or if you HAVE to kindly ask someone to buy you water if you're in the middle of passing out. The one time I did this I was worried they would just walk off with my $5, but people are usually kind and will get water. That's such a last resort tho.. please try and carry your own water.

For now these are my tips 🤷‍♀️

[draconscious]

THE BLACKTHORN DRAGON CLAN.

<<Hello hello!! I've been thinking about my dragon lady lately, and I thought it might be helpful for both me and others to dig up some old headcanons (repurposed from here) about Clair's home base: the DRAGON CLAN. I am always game to discuss or flesh these out more with other people--come here!!>>

DRAGON CLAN ORIGINS.

The exact date of the Clan’s creation is unknown, but certain old texts (dated back hundreds of years ago) tell tales of mountain settlers who happened across a cavernous shelter while weathering a terrible storm. That shelter came to be known as the DRAGON'S DEN.

These settlers--the founding members of the Clan--soon located an abundance of Dratini within the Den’s giant lake, and began training them. Meanwhile, brave Clan explorers surveyed the mountainside and cavern tunnels, eventually coming across a frighteningly-large fang buried in some rubble. 

This ANCIENT DRAGON FANG is one of the only surviving artifacts from those founding times and is held in highest regard by current members--yet, after all these years, nobody can figure out the Pokemon associated with it. The Clan, naturally, assumes it came from Dragonite.

DRAGON CLAN FAITH.

Around 500 years ago, when Blackthorn City was being established, the members of the Clan claim to have seen a “RAINBOW DRAGON” soaring over the mountains, kicking off a period of needed prosperity for the rough-and-tumble town. Researchers think that this “Rainbow Dragon” might actually be HO-OH, but the legend still remains an important part of Clan faith and traditional Blackthorn lore.

Every five years, on the day that the “Rainbow Dragon” first soared overhead, Blackthorn throws a huge festival in celebration and reverence. One selected member of the Dragon Clan--now usually Clair--performs the “DRAGON FANG RITUAL,” in which the ancient Fang is carefully held up twice by the bearer--once to the sun and once to the moonlight, “burning away the evils of the previous years.”

If it is cloudy on the day of the festival--rendering the ritual useless--the Clan believes that a bad fortune will befall Blackthorn for the next five years.

Currently, the DRAGON SHRINE--located at the heart of the Den--houses both the Fang and the first known illustration of the Rainbow Dragon, along with documentation detailing the known history of the clan. Its members often meditate here.

DRAGON CLAN HIERARCHY.

The Clan's hierarchy goes like this (from least important to most important): Recruit, Tamer, Elder, Master. Recruits are recently-chosen outsiders or strong Trainers who are inexperienced with dragon training. Tamers are experienced Dragon Trainers who have spent considerable time in the Den (Clair is here). Elders form a “council” of sorts in the DC--they are a small group of aged Tamers who (somewhat problematically) confer Elder status and appoint new Masters. Once you become an Elder, you cannot become Master. This is a recently self-imposed rule--after the passing of the last Master (Clair and Lance's grandfather), the council began looking for more youthful candidates. 

The Master--the highest rank in the Clan--serves a lifetime term and has absolute authority over every other member. Unlike the Elder rank, there is no age requirement for this position. When the last Master passed (shortly following the events of Crystal), the Elders used a series of tests to decide his successor. Any Tamer could attempt these tests.

The exhausting tests were as follows: Stamina (swim across the Dragon’s Den lake with all of its dangers),  Ancestry (take a test that covers nearly all of Clan history), and Serenity (pluck a scale from the Den’s Gyarados using your own strength). Clair faltered on the Serenity challenge, and Lance was given the title of Master.

Lance’s Champion duties (which he valued more) constantly interfered with his Master responsibilities, so the Elders reluctantly gave Clair another chance to pass the tests and take his place--only to see her fail the Serenity trial once again.

CLAIR’S ISSUES

Despite being raised under Clan rule for much of her life, Clair has recently begun to challenge many of the its restrictive traditions. Here are a few issues that she is currently working through...

The Clan only allows the Dratini line to be trained in the Den--a supposed nod to the ancestors. Clair has taken to raising non-native Dragons in the Den’s tunnel system--explore at your own risk.

The Elder council claims that strength alone is the determining factor for rank in the DC, yet Clair has noticed that the current council consists of men only. Historically, there has only been a handful of female Elders in the DC’s history, and there has never been a female Master. Clair (and recently, numerous other Tamers) have become more outspoken about this discrepancy, but--somewhat tellingly--the Elders remain silent.

Adding on to the previous point, the Dragon’s Den--while unique in its structure and training processes--still can’t escape classic Johtoan traditionalism (an emphasis on manners/modesty and a general resistance to change.) 

Clair loves to do her research, but the DC often turns a blind eye to her findings regarding the Dragons of the outside world. Although she still participates in the Dragon Fang Ritual as its bearer, she is quickly becoming fed up with the Clan’s willful ignorance on a lot of its issues.

Due to her numerous brush-ups with the Den’s unspoken rules and supposed irreverence towards her “superiors,” Clair is known around the Den for having a “dragon’s temper.” She often wonders if her Dragon Master tests were fixed in some way by the Elders.

[cosmic-navel-gazin]

"About the Blogger" Meme by @razielim

Haven't seen one of these in forever; I'm being the change I want to see. (You're encouraged to adapt/remove questions or add new ones to better suit yourself.)

Favorite Pseud: Cosmic is the new hotness but my indecisive ass has had a billion! Alas-poor-yorick! is an old one I'm still fond of because my child self really went and saw Hamlet and thought: "YES! THE SKULL OF THE DEAD JESTER! THAT'S WHO I WANNA BE!"

Time Zone: GMT

Star Sign(s): the one that's a COSMIC RAM! 🐏🌠✨

Favorite Holidays: every holiday is always tinged with just a tad of existential dread, a pang reminding me of the time that's already gone by, that I'm one day closer to death , I guess the ones during Spring and Summer, just because of the weather and that the days are longer

Last Meal: Soup and a piece of bread with olive oil (and olives)

Current Favorite Musician: my dear friend who plays the piano^^ (whom I hope never finds out about this blog and reads this or I'll never hear the end of it). Not sure if current, but I've listened to a lot of it regularly so, shout-out to Jordi Savall and his Hespèrion XXI group *gnaws on their many variations of the spanish Folías*

Last Music Listened To: Just Dropped In (To See What Condition My Condition Is In) · Kenny Rogers & The First Edition

Last Movie Watched: Saw X and The Lobster

Last TV Show Watched: The Bear

Last Book/Fic Finished: Can't remember what was the last book so I'm going with: One of only two in existence A Field In England fics on AO3 😳

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: Kafka's The Trial (not abandoned, I just wanted to finish the ones I had started first before continuing because I know this one's gonna hurt for sure)

Currently Reading: Solaris by Stanisław Lem

Books/Shows/Movies/etc. You Want to Get Around To: For Films I have some listed on this ask. For books I got some Strugatskys to get to, some Terry Pratchett, some Kafka, some Horus Heresy, my sister got me Foundation *looks at bookshelf and ignores the dozens of others that have been sitting there for years, waiting for me*

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Wild boars! Boarzinhos if you will.

Last Eureka, Breakthrough, or Neat Fact/Concept Learned: Have learned nothing and remain a fool.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: I don't think I've ever been in a Fandom™ per se. It's usually just, sitting in my dark lair and enjoying a thing with a handful of other people. But, if it counts since it's the closest to interacting with Fandom I've had: these past (4?) years on tumblr in general. From the months-long (sometimes years-long) discussions about this or that piece of media and the insightful observations traded, the juicy meta, the joy and privilege of people sending you unfinished pieces of their art and writing through DMs (the trust and intimacy of it all!!!), sending each other memes and posts we think the other might enjoy, the nice messages, etc... all of it really.

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: Am baby and haven't really experienced this yet.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: I literally can't choose because almost everything I love is some flavour of weird-ass-obscure thing! But uhmmm, *flips through enormous tome of interests* : Here! Rule of Rose ! I was starving for psychological horror games after the Silent Hill series and this is the closest I've ever seen to them while also not being just a rip off/clone of SH, and telling its own beautifully tragic story (the combat is broken and there's other issues but everything else, maaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnn).

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: I will draw Rumata and Budach's Conversation™ from chapter 8 in full, in comic form, skill to pull it off and do it justice or not, EVEN IF IT KILLS ME!

Tempting Project You're 100% Going to Undertake: It involves sandcastles and the joys of creation... but it needs to *gasp!* actually be written and not just daydreamed about.

Tagging: AAAAAA I DUNNO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO!

[leebrontide]

Low Dose Testosterone for Hypermobility

I'm getting a lot of asks about this so lemme just make a proper post.

I have unspecified hypermobility that looks like EDS but due to various medical shenanigans has never been officially diagnosed as anything specific.

I talked about my specific process of getting on low dose testosterone to help with my hypermobility, and it's relation to gender stuff for me here. I'm taking a single pump of the lowest dose of gel once per day, with no additional medications.

But a lot of people are asking more about my experiences with being on T for this, so at a year and change in, here's what I've experienced.

NOTE THAT RESPONSES TO THESE THINGS VARY WILDLY AND I MAKE ABSOLUTLY NO GUARANTEE THAT YOUR HYPOTHETICAL RESPONSE WOULD BE LIKE MINE. I HAVE BEEN TOLD THAT MY RESPONCE IS ATYPICALLY STRONG AND SIDE EFFECTS ARE HIGHLY VARIABLE AND UNPREDICTABLE BECAUSE THE MEDICAL ESTABLISHMENT AS A WHOLE DOESN'T REALLY CARE.

Hypermobility- drastically reduced! I can't do most of my stupid human tricks anymore. not that thing with my knees that makes people scream, or the thing where my thumb goes flat against my wrist. It's not totally gone- my feet are still distressingly floppy and I'm in the process of getting braces for them now. Overall, the parts where I can accrue more muscle mass, like my back, benefited more than parts that can't, like my hands.

Pain- also vastly improved! The pattern for which joints still hurt pretty well follows the pattern above- where there's a lot of muscle, there's less pain. I had been up to 3 naproxen's a day just for like basic functionality. Currently I don't even know where my naproxen is because it's been so long since I needed it.

Muscle mass- love this. I have thighs of steel. I can toss around my 70lb child easily. Granted, I am on a non-optional daily workout routine of parenting a massive 4 year old who wants to be carried like a little kid but is the size of a gradeschooler, and that may have contributed, but this was NEVER an amount of muscle I could put on before, no matter what, much less without hurting myself.

Hair- for sure more body hair, both in locations with hair and in the thickness and length of the hair. Happily this includes my eyebrows, which had been falling out before. I'm closing in on 40, so I was already getting more random facial hairs, but now they grow in thicker. This is still at a level for occasional tweezing, not a shaving situation. I don't have any baldness but there's also no baldness anywhere in my family tree, which I was told was the main risk factor, just as if I was making the testosterone myself.

Voice- I went from a very high soprano to a fairly high alto, so unless you hear recording side by side you wouldn't generally notice a change. I can actually still reach most of my old high notes, my speaking range is just lower. BUT I also have a much improved low range, which I've been enjoying. I have access to chest voice now! It's fun. Worth noting that I sing every day and my kid wants "Elsa songs" so my high range may be preserved out of practice. I think it may still be dropping? I still get the occasional Dipper Pines voice crack.

Acne- I can tell I have more acne, but since I did a round of Isotretonin back several years ago it hasn't been bad.

Bloodpressure- higher, but it was problematically low before, so that's been fine for me.

Energy- Other than the pain, this has been the biggest change for me. It used to be if there was any kind of big barometric pressure drop, or any kind of thing that would cause mild all-over swelling I was knocked out. We used to call them my "weather naps". Just totally non-optional rests that did nothing to rejuvenate. I think I've had like 1 of these in the past 6 months. Previously the fatigue was such a problem that it was a major contributor to my getting fired from my last job. I painted for 8 hours a day 6 out of 7 days a week for multiple weeks when we moved and I was tired but not more than any of the other people around me, which was amazing.

Mood- I find myself slightly less anxious than I used to be, but that's about it. I don't feel any more irritable- if anything, being less tired and in less pain has made me calmer and more patient.

Horniness- Spiked way up in the first few months, but has since stabilized to around where it was in my mid-late 20s.

Food- I was craving so much protein for a few months there. I was downing boiled eggs like Gaston. Now I eat a bit more protein than I used to, but I guess a normal amount for someone maintaining this muscle mass. Interestingly, since my spine being out of whack was such a major contributor to my gut problems, this has also improved, although digestion can still be a struggle for me.

Feet- APPARENTLY taking testosterone can make your feet wider. Who knew? anyways I grew out of my favorite slip on shoes and I'm a bit grumpy about it. It's a minor change but it is a thing.

Face- I think my nose may have changed slightly? I always had a pretty prominent brow ridge, and at my age changes to my jaw aren't so visible, so it's hard to say beyond that.

Fat distribution- my boobs are bit smaller, but not by much. didn't have to buy a new bra. Might be due to overall reduction in body fat. My hips and belly changed just enough I had to buy new pants, but mainly because the added muscle mass shifted things. I still have pronounced hips.

Periods- I can tell my hormones are still cycling, but I had an endometrial ablation like 12 years ago because my uterus was an asshole that was trying to kill me, so I don't have more details than that.

Smell- there was like a month when I smelled like the boys hallway in the freshman dorms no matter how much I showered or how much deodorant I put on and it was terrible. Now I smell a bit different than I used to, but thankfully not so MUCH so it's hard to say.

I hope that helps. A bunch of this is stuff I'd have never known about if there weren't other trans folks in my life.

If there's more I can answer, you can still DM me. :)

[bishie98]

Heya. Currently looking for JJBA RP partners. >:3

BxB

Minors please DNI. 18+ only.

NSFW friendly. Pretty vanilla TBH. I'll only do sussy scenes if our characters are 18+! AUs are helpful for this.

I don't play as a 100% dominant top for any characters. I play as a versatile (AKA switch) or a bottom, depending on the character.

I am semi-lit to literate. As long as you give at least three sentences, that's fine.

We can do things in the cannon universe or an AU. I love fantasy, sci-fi, and psychological stuff. :>

Muses and ships:

(💜 = who I'd like to play)

Part 2 🧣

* Caesar💜 x Joseph (not experienced. Willing to try!)

Part 4 ☮️

* Josuke x Mikitaka💜 (not experienced. Wiling to try!)

Part 5 🐞

* Giorno💜 x Mista

* Narancia💜 x Giorno💜

* Narancia💜 x Mista

Part 6 🦋

* M!Jolyne 💜 x M!Hermes

* M!Jolyne 💜 x Weather

Part 7 🌟 (about 1/3 through the manga)

* Johnny 💜 x Gyro

Please tell me any triggers you have so we can avoid them! Thanks. Feel free to DM me. :3 You can also message me on Discord at bishie98.