#tell me you like it sofar

[pjisskullourful]

GAY ENOUGH WINS!

complete first scene here ya go:

He was grinning as he turned to you. "Dumb blonde."

"Huh?"

"Dumb blonde." He said the words slower.

"Yeah, I heard you, but I'm gonna need more information. Are you just saying random words, or is this an idea for a song, are you saying this on purpose? I get that you're trying to communicate with me, but what you're trying to communicate is a mystery to me." You asked.

"That boy in there, we have got to turn him into a dumb blonde."

"You're right, he's looking too wise right now. But how do you propose we do that?" You asked.

"Fuck him absolutely senseless. We sex his damn brains out, give him everything we've got until there is literally nothing left in his brain." He said. "We'll make him the dumbest blonde that the world has ever known."

"A braindead blonde." You added.

He had a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Yeah, so you're in?"

"Well I want to, obviously. Give me any excuse to jump his bones." You said. "But we were gonna go to that after party with the others, what about that?"

He curled some strands of your hair behind your ear. "I think we would have more fun here. You can tell me if you think I'm wrong."

You licked your lips. "The dress that I bought to wear is actually super uncomfortable."

"Do you know what would be more comfortable than that? Wearing absolutely nothing." He said.

"You're so right."

"This is good, I can plan out things that I wanna do to him and that can keep me from thinking about how nervous I am." He said.

You put your hands on his bare arms, holding his biceps. "You're nervous, how come? You know you can do this, you did this last year and it went perfectly, you were amazing, just like you're gonna be tonight, baby."

"Thank you." He said, his smile wasn't entirely convincing.

"What are you nervous about?" You asked.

"The whole thing. Yeah, we did it last year, but it's not like the people who are gonna be in that room are any less important than they were last year." He said.

"But you're important too. You know how to perform this song. The second that you're on that stage, it's gonna be yours." You said. "I'm not worried for you guys, at all."

"You don't wanna be nervous with me?" He asked.

"Nope." You said simply. "And no matter what happens- you're gonna come back here and we're gonna fuck our boyfriend's brains out. No matter how nervous or stressed you are, that's how your night is ending, guaranteed. So distract yourself with your dirty whore thoughts.

"We're not telling him anything about this, right?"

"No, no, this has gotta be a surprise." He said.

"Secret." You grinned and you mimed zipping your lips shut.

Once back inside the hotel room, you were called over by Ethan. You had to make sure your smile didn't give you away, trying to act normal as you crossed the floor.

"Yes, bubba?" You asked.

"I can't remember, what was the name of that place where we had the really great food last night, the French place?" He asked. "She's trying to set up a date but she doesn't know where to take her."

"Oh…" You went into this conversation with the makeup artist, knowing that you have time later to come back to your depraved plans for Ethan. You laid your hand on his shoulder, just taking part in the smalltalk.

hi, i’m in love with your damianoxreaderxethan series😍 since the VMAs I can’t stop thinking about that moment on the pink carpet where Ethan looked at Damiano’s chest then turned and Damiano looked at Ethan. Imagine, like, the thoughts that would be running in reader’s mind just looking at that video sitting on the couch and then, like, touching herself and sending a video to them. I mean, just a thought maybe not even a real request but…I honestly can’t stop thinking about it.

psst lemme tell you a lil secret: im in love with it too!

i really really like this idea. infact i like it somuch that i have compiled a lot of notes & some paragraphs of the opening. i love the throuple somuch that i take any excuse to write about them so i could easily dive into this& dedicate my spare time to it

however, that would possibly slow down this months chapter of stained sheets, so yall gotta let me know which you'd rather read first, some throuple smut or chapter 24 of stained sheets

‼️also also ALSO if yall have any ideas of positions you want the throuple to do, let me know! cos i havent quite decided that part yet so give me some smutty inspo‼️

anyways, heres my lil beginning

"Do blondes have more fun?" You asked of Ethan, getting him alone as the makeup artist walked away to set up more things on the countertop.

Before he could answer, Damiano had come over, standing next to you. "No, blondes have more cum."

Ethan rolled his eyes. "Charming."

The two of them were getting ready for the Video Music Awards, Måneskin's second year of attending and performing. It had been decided that Ethan would wear a long blonde wig, along with Damiano's freshly bleached hair, they were all going to be blonde for the night.

There was still time before they had to leave the hotel. You wouldn't be accompanying them to the awards show, once their makeup was done and they were fully styled, you would be spending the night with the other members of their travelling team. But there was still fun to be had in this lead up to the event. You had watched the VMAs with them many times, now you were going to be seeing them at the VMAs. It wasn't just an average day at work for them, this was one of the things you had dreamt of with them and there was excitement in the air of your hotel suite.

For now the nerves weren't getting to them too much. All they had to do was stay still and have makeup applied, no more rushing to rehearsals or sound checks, they could slow down, there was time to breathe. There was time for Ethan to really look in the mirror and decide how he liked this different hair colour. The wig was pinned down securely and the lace was glued to his forehead.

"I've been a blonde longer than you, so I'm the authority here." Damiano said.

You hadn't been able to take your eyes off of Ethan yet. "Do you like it?"

"Yeah." He said, his fingers playing through the light strands. "I really think I'm pulling it off."

"You definitely are. But it's pretty hard to find something you look bad wearing." Damiano said.

"I don't know what it is about it, but it's bringing out this kind of androgynous quality. It's always there, it's just in you." You said. "But with this wig on, it's all I can see. You're giving me more genderfuck than usual and it's quite stunning."

Sassily, Ethan flipped the hair back from one shoulder. "Oh, so I'm stunning now? I'm bringing stunning to the VMAs, well somebody has to."

"Yas baby, feel your oats." Damiano encouraged.

You were interrupted by the makeup artist requesting Ethan at the other side of the room. Before leaving the two of you behind, he tossed the long blonde hair in your direction, getting both of you to laugh. He sat down in the chair and the artist was quite quickly applying products to his face.

Before you could decide what you were going to do next, Damiano had grabbed your elbow. He made a gesture for you to head even further away from Ethan, over to the doors that led to the balcony. You walked with him, he slid the doors open and you followed him outside. He didn't start talking until the doors were securely shut again, any conversation from inside blocked out.

--------

[phaazev]

I have a crossover idea: JJBA x Life series

Sofar I only have the idea for Jimmy, but I have to share it. His stand is Canary in a Coal Mine (based off the song by The Crane Wives) and it’s designed to look like a gargoyle with a torso made of a bird cage.

Gargoyles are traditionally thought to ward off evil spirits, so symbolically the stand should protect Jimmy from the gaze of malevolent beings. The bird cage is obvious- it’s what you keep a canary in, but it’s empty. You could interpret that two ways- one, that Jimmy is the canary and so that’s why there’s no bird in the cage. Or two- Jimmy as of secret life isn’t the canary anymore and so it’s been freed from the cage. I also added a broken clock as a nod to limited life- which is when the canary curse really started to become obvious. Broken clocks are also an ominous sign of bad luck.

As for jimmys design I gave him his bad boy glasses and spikes on his jacket. I gave him a hat for the ranchers, and flower embroidery for flower husbands. I didn’t go too crazy with the design of his outfit because I’ve always liked the simplicity of jimmys designs in the fandom and didn’t want to loose it. But it wouldn’t be Jojo themed if it wasn’t a little strange- hence making his blue shirt some kind of Jean jacket trenchcoat.

As for the stand ability? I’m not sure yet. It would make sense that the actual acquisition of the stand would break the canary curse so maybe it works similarly to Wonder of U where it pushes jimmys curse onto another individual? If you have any ideas ide love to hear them.

Anyway I’m brainrotting over this crossover so tell me which lifer I should do next!

[noahsbookhoard]

📚November 2024 Book Review📚

November was a bit less busy that October and varies from jawdropping to very meh.

Everyone In My Family Has Killed Someone (Ernest Cunningham #1) by Benjamin Stevenson

That one is definitely in the jawdropping category. A great murder mystery in which you have all the keys and the author is right there telling you to "go ahead and solve it". I didn't. I had fun anyway. Just as darkly funny as the title announces.

Wintersmith (Discworld #34) by Terry Pratchett

I think sofar it is my favorite Tifanny Aching story: she is growing up and that shows, she is more responsible, she owns up to what she does wrong, she is still whip smart and I never get tired of the Nac Mac Feegle.

Dracula by Bram Stoker

This count as a novel read since I completed Dracula Daily like everyone on nov 8. The audio drama version by Bloody FM production is so good and a great plus because some of Van Helsing lecture at John are really just too long.

Une belle vie by Virginie Grimaldi

I don't know why but I ended up reading 3 Grimaldi in as many months, maybe because they are rather easy to read, funny and generally have a hopeful vives even when dealing with heavy themes. This one is the story of two estranged sister who reconnect by coming for one last vacation in their grand mother house before they sell it. They rebuilt their relationship and draw back childhood memories, some good and some bad. The part where I got confused is that the author tries to tackle a lot of subjects (bipolarity, depression, domestic violence and cancer are the ones I remember but there are many) instead of just one are two. It was a lot to handle at times but a good read nonetheless.

The Restaurang at the End of the Universe (Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy #2) by Douglas Adams

Book 2 is just as crazy as The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, but I found it a little more coherent, as in I knew approximately where we were going (a restaurant) and the convoluted adventure that leads to and from it made more sense to me than in book 1. I'm really excited for the rest of the series.

L'amant by Marguerite Duras

I admit, I don't see the appeal. The writing is good but not incredibly so. The story itself is rambling, I guess it was intentional but it makes it harder to follow. The relationship between the author as a girl and her lover at least 10 years older is very disturbing when judge by modern standards and I was a little put off by the casual way she talks about her brother's death. I must have missed the literary qualities here but I might try another of her novel later on.

La Dame du manoir de Wildfell Hall (The Tenant of Wildfell Hall) by Anne Brontë

I felt so much fucking rage reading this novel! It has some of the most heinous male characters I have ever read and even the main love interest has a hell of a journey to stop being an entitled jealous violent piece of shit. That said it is very well written otherwise I would have either given up or thrown the whole thing through the window. Helen, the main character is strong minded and brave, I loved her from the start and grew even warmer. I strongly recommend it.

Tw for domestic abuse and alcoholism.

The Sword Catcher (Chronicles of Castelane #1) by Cassandra Clare

This was an indulgence: I said I wanted to read less traditional medieval heroic fantasy and it falls right into it. It is good tho! I liked the concept of the Sword Catcher and the Ragpicker King amd especially how the two characters interact. I really hope the relationship between Connor and Kel is explored more too in the future books because the homoerotic subtext deserve to be more text than that!

Somewhere Beyond the Sea (Cerulean #2) T J Klune

I loved The House in the Cerulean Sea so I was excited for the sequel, but a little weary too. I was afraid not to find what made book 1 so dear to me. But there it was! The kids and their shenanigans, Arthur and Linus being their lovey dovey selves, Zoey and Helen are all the village had kept its newly opened mind from the end of book 1 and that was very comforting. The story is hard, the hate and fear they face hits a little too close. But they overcome it and everything ends well which is just what I wanted to read.

The kids calling Arthur and Linus Dad and Papa was extremely cute. I really loved David and how he bonded with Lucy. Not a comfort book as much as the first one but I had a great time reading it

My Roommate is a Vampire by Jenna Levine

I stumbled upon this one because I watched this video of a person who read all the Rylo fanfic turned novels out of morbid curiosity and this one seemed intriguing enough for me to try, open mind and all that. I was promised some whimsy, a shopping montage and a heist.

Well there's comedy (an kumquats for some reason) The shopping montage wasn't much of a montage, they just went and tried t-shirts on. But the end was just stupid: female lead went ahead with a plan she deems stupid and unlikely to work, us reader with even the tiniest bit of social media experience know that the plan is stupid and can't possibly work. And it works. Just genuinely first degree work. When you go with that in a comedy setting at least make your stupid plan work in a funny way, WWDITS style! Some bits are tedious, I understand your 400 year old don't know how to use Instagram but I do and I don't need a full chapter of tutorial (same chapter as my newest fight with my nemesis, the possessiveness trope, you don't get to storm off and brood just cause she posted bikini pics dude!)

Overall it was quite fun if you don't think to much about it.

When Among Crows by Veronica Roth

I listen to the audio book and the accents were *chef kiss*: it is a novella with slavic folklore creatures in an modern setting and I wasn't expecting to love it so much!! It's a story about monsters and family and duty. Angsty, a bit gay, the characters relationship work very well. It will be a reread in the future.Greatest of news for me today! I discovered by googling the spelling of characters names that a second book is coming this year!

[miltonlibassistantn1fan]

hello i am here to trade u oc facts. ummm lets start with an intro my girl Null Value (previously known as zero / 0000) ive made a lot of updates to her recently but sofar i have established that she works at a funeral home and wants to be human very badly. can u tell me the name and general idea(s) of an oc :]c?

HI JPEG HI HI. i love. i love her.

I SAWWWWWWWWW you posted a lot

hi. this is malthas. he's a magic ghost sword guy. he lives in modern times (like 500+ years old) and has to deal with being stuck in the boring ass modern world and not hanging out with warriors adventuring the lands. also he's a freak

[the-clownery]

I've Been working on Zaine for while then i decided to make some character heads using Zaine's head as a base their still a work in progress but I wanted to show off what i got sofar cause I'm loving the style So Zaine's hair was inspired by Chat Noir, and len kagamine So i thought i'd try and do some alternate character heads inspired by Adrien and Felix's hairs. Plus a face sprite of an old oc I've had for years now [the blue guy in the lower left hand corner] personally I like the first Adrien/Felix heads or the first felix and second adrien heads as pairs I was going for that simple edit type of twin energy like how felix's hair is let down and adrien's is puffed upwards Zaine's hair is more like a combo of adrien and chat noir's hair with how his bangs sweep to the one side and how the back part of his hair poofs out making it look like a messy emo cut. Tell me which ones you like best! also I don't quite have names for the twins yet- if anyone has suggestions to help get the cogs turning be my guest

[showponyyy]

new year show pony!

January 11, 2025 ⭑ Bridge & Tunnel Brewery

first show of the year! yow! i made a resolution to myself that this year i would only say yes to important shows. this doesn't mean the biggest shows necessarily, it means shows that i know i am truly going to enjoy playing and/or will benefit my music career. towards the end of last year i was beginning to feel really burnt out from playing so many shows. i was saying yes to everything thrown my way and while there was some benefit to this for sure (exposure, experience playing live etc.) it ultimately led to me playing some tiny shows, some random shows, some bad bills and i started taking playing live in a huge city for granted. like if i zoom out i know that what i am doing is so cool and coveted by so many. i get constantly asked to play shows around new york city, brooklyn, and queens and outside of new york even (LA, Boston, Austin etc). I created the idea of "show pony" out of this love i have for playing shows. but at a certain point i began to justify playing just any show due to this love i mean really i could talk myself into playing anything. so my love got stretched realllll thin. thus this year i vowed to play the special ones.

we started off on the right note lemme tell ya. my good friend chandler down in austin who runs this label, happen twice reached out asking if i wanted to play another show with this band, hereboy. i played a show with them in like april maybe of last year in the middle of the day at bar frieda in queens....but i had stayed to watch their set and was actually like oh my god??? they sound like a mix of alvvays and alice phoebe lou! supreme! so i was eager to accept this as my first show pony show of the year (fine i played a sofar first week of jan but i dont count it i just really needed the money). and in an even better turn of events chandler asked if there was anyone i wanted to add on to the bill. farrah and i had been in talks of planning a birthday show for her so here was the perfect opportunity. dream bill are you kidding me...............

day of show and i had rehearsal in the twin peaks themed rehearsal space in queens, red note. nathaniel was still in texas so my lovely friend peter groppe of shallow alcove fame joined me on lead guitar. rockstar! the show was in a brewery in ridgewood called bridge and tunnel brewery. it was an eclectic cozy space with certainly one of the worst sound systems ive encountered. thats alright though because the show was exactly as i hoped it would be: special.

in january of last year when i really started playing shows like for real i would come home buzzing unable to sleep unable to stop thinking about the night feeling weightless and overwhelmed. and that slowly faded away as i played more shows and the year went on. i was sad thinking oh maybe that magical feeling was just the newness and excitement of the first times. but i felt it! i did! the buzzing! watching farrah, watching hereboy, playing with my band, doing a terrible cover of touching yourself by the japanese house with farrah, having farrah sing on starting over with me, flirting, seeing friends i hadn't yet seen this year, meeting lou outside my actual guardian angel prophecy sent by the universe, talking to unassuming people because they always turn out to be the coolest, and so much more. it was an important night and an important show. i know because im full. and it felt right. sooo right.

ive been turning down show offers for feb. too cold. plus im going out to la to make music with jia and celebrate my birthday and release junkyard dog. now im losing the point. not sure when theres a next one but see u at the next one!

xo

[honeybittersweet]

My mind by YEBBA (live version at sofar NYC) lives rent free in my mind. Anytime I listen to it, it consumes my soul. The emotions, the rawness of it all, the vocal RANGE this woman has it's out of this world. She tells the story in such a vulnerable and powerful way with only her voice and a guitar in the background, it's amazing, because with the strength and range her voice has, it makes me feel like the song is full of instruments, a whole orchestra, but no, there's only two instruments (voice/guitar).

I'm obsessed with the second verse, specially the vocals at "you say you love me but I know it's a LIE" and the bridge part where she sings "she won't take you away from me and I sure won't stay but I'll be damned if I ever leave."

[harbingrs]

I always find the most creative ways to destroy myself Yeah, I can tear me down better than anybody else I don't need your help, I don't need your help

You can't tie your favourite noose around my neck Cut me down when I turn blue and act like I'm the wreck I don't need your help, I don't need your help Oh, come on, just say something No, go ahead, tell me, what do I need? I'm not the kind of girl you undo I've been undone long before you

[yingletamiibo]

SIDE: Bup

"Hello, miss pretty lady! I'm Bup! Have you seen my enclave? I'm sovery lost!"

I'm Bup! I was sovery lost, so I asked zhe pretty lady for help! She probably didn't hear me, zhough, because she kept walking. Oh well!

It was getting dark, also. I zhought really hard about looking for zhe enclave at night, but... As much as I miss zhem, and I'm sure zhey also miss me sosomuch, it probably is actually safer to sleep in zhe city.

Yeah! So I do zhat. Even zhough it is very, very cold out.

Now I was back at zhe enclave! I was playing wizh all of my friends, and everyone liked me so much! And zhey only ever yelled at me a little when I messed up! I messed up a lot.

Zhe Matriarch took me to a very pretty lake, and she leaned close to me... And pushed me in.

I was really scared! I'm not good at swimming! I'm not good at anyzhing.

I tried to scream, but nozhing came out, and zhe Matriarch just stared at me...

And zhen I woke up, back on zhe city street where I fell asleep. What a silly dream!

My tummy made a weird noise.

I don't remember how long I've been looking for my enclave! Zhey sent me into zhe city to get somezhing, and when I got back, everyone was gone! I zhink maybe zhey moved and forgot to tell me. Isn't zhat sosilly of zhem?

My tummy makes zhe weird noise again. I'm hungry.

I walked around, and I smelled somezhing really tasty! I tried to open zhe door to zhe place of zhe smell, but it was locked. I found a couple of metal sticks on zhe ground, and I used zhose to unlock zhe door!

Zhat was somezhing I was good at. Unlocking doors.

I knew I had to be sosneaky, because humans like to zhrow yinglets who are where zhey shouldn't be. I didn't want to be zhrown! And zhats why, when I saw a human-

"EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

I yelled! And I hit him wizh my metal stick! It got stuck in him. Is zhat why zhey call it a stick? Hehehe.

"Damned scav...! I'll fuckin' show you-"

He lifted up his arm. He had a knife! He was about to get me wizh it, but anozher human grabbed him. She looked at me.

"Hey, little fella. Did you catch this guy?"

I nodded at her. Oh no. She was gonna zhrow me. Zhe man she held yelled. I zhink she twisted his arm.

"He's been causin' all kindsa trouble at me inn. Thank ye."

She held him zhere for a bit before more humans came and took him away.

"So, are ya lost, li'l one? I can give ya some work."

She slapped her hands togezher. I nodded.

It lasted about a week. She kept trying to find zhings for me to do, but I kept messing zhem up. She tried to be patient wizh me, but...

"Listen, Bup, I'm sorry. I cannae afford ta keep housin' ya if ya can't give anythin' back..."

She sighed. I know she wanted to help me, but... I sighed, too. Maybe I am stupid, like zhe Matriarch said. Maybe zhey didn't tell me zhey were moving on purpose.

"I'm really sorry, miss... I can do better, give me anozher chance!"

"I'm sorry, Bup. I've run outta things for ya to do."

I was sovery sad, yes. It was zhe saddest I've been ever!

But zhen I met her. She was at zhe inn a few times. She was a very pretty yinglet, and she dressed like a matriarch, but she lived in a biiiiiig house in zhe city. I walked out of zhe inn, so so sad, and she stopped me.

"Hello, Bup."

"Bup."

I made my favorite sound.

"I see you, too, have been scorned by humans. I am on a mission-"

She said some ozher stuff, but I got distracted, looking at somezhing far away. I wave to it.

"Are you listening to-"

"Is zhat indrel wizh you?"

She looks surprised.

"How did you see..."

"Zhey are sofar away, but I have really good eyes!"

I smiled. Zhat was anozher zhing I was good at. Seeing and locks!

"... What is your favorite zhing in zhe world to do, Bup?"

I zhink for a bit.

"Plants!"

She smiled. And bowed.

"I am Zelt, but if you would be my gardener, you may call me Matriarch."

[imawa-borderland-dweller]

An even sadder Kuzuyuuma fic becos why not? ( a bit out of the Borderlands theme but I needed to make it extra sad so just excuse me)

"Kyuuma."

"Hmm?"

"You'll always remember me, right? Even if I go to some faraway place and for a long time... you'll always remember me, right?"

"What are you saying, of course I will!"

"...Good. Just asking."

It was time for their plan to beat the joker card. The card that had been directly responsible for the death of so many innocent people.

They decided not to tell Mira and Shiirabi. It would just be their little secret between them. If they ever did need their help, they would tell them immediately.

"This joker isn't some ordinary guy. To defeat him, as the ancient prophecy had foretold, we'll need a word powerful enough to cut his flesh, and a swordmaster willing enough to wields the sword to cut his flesh."

"Hmm. I get the sword part, but why would the sofar not be willing to cut the joker's flesh?"

Kyuma, again with his baseless questions, said out loud.

"Well, I wouldn't know," Kuzu replied monotonously.

"Anyway, apparently now we have to go to the Requiem Of The Echoing Depths (and yes I copied that from Genshin) and find the sword? I have no idea," Kyuma replied now energetically.

"Well, we already know where this Requiem is, so let's go!"

---------------------

"Uh... this is it? Doesn't look very Echoing Depthsy- wait Kuzu don't go in yet, wait for me!" Kyuma shouted to his glasses guy (yes, his glasses guy)

After a short period of walking, they arrived at a fork.

"It splits two ways,"

"Yes, that's how a fork works,"

"..." Kuzu tried not to show any emotion regarding the insult-compliment Kyuma just threw at him.

"Which way should we go?" Kyuma questioned.

"Um... I think we should go the left way? I might be wrong, and there might be a trap there, though," Kuzu sounded his opinion.

"Oh whatever! If there's a trap, we'll figure out how to escape it together, let's go left if you think so then!"

And so left they went.

And indeed left was right. (Pun intended)

They arrived at a room with a stone pedestal. On the stone pedestal, there was a little device that looked highly technological enough Kyuma could swear it was built by aliens.

They reached forth to take it, careful of any traps, if any.

"Seems like some device for... sword-making? Kuzu, we found the right place!" Kyuma announced as he read off the label, which literally wrote: "Sword-making machine. "

"But how does it work?"

"Let's take it back to the HQ first. There might be traps around here,"

"Oh yeah, let's,"

-----------------------

"... Wait. I think I know how to operate it."

"Wait, you do? How?"

"The joker is a really twisted god. He must have put this here so he could give those who want to kill him a chance to. But there must be some kind of twist behind it..."

"Oh yeah, well said, Kuzu,"

"Uh...ok, concentrate... uh... no this doesn't work" Kuzu's failed attempt at activate the device was greeted by a slight smirk on Kyuma's face.

"Well, whatever, let's go get some snacks," Kyuma, distracted by his hunger, informed the lawyer of his whereabouts, then disappeared into the lunch crowd.

"I'll join you later!" Kuzu shouted at him against the noises of the other citizens' and dealers' conversations.

"...So that's how you work it. A true "hearts game" indeed. Then I'll take it. It's not like I could let anyone else take the glory anyway."

"So... you have decided? Are you sure you want to do this? Is it really worth it just for me?" A dark silhouette arose from and surrounded the device.

"To defeat you, anything is worth it!"

"Ah... I see... a memory for a memory..."

"But don't think you get the easy way out. They are going to remember you until they leave this land. And you...

you... are not going to die. I will keep you alive, as the "true hearts game", after all..."

"...Just one question before I go. ...Why?" Kuzu questioned the shadow.

"You ask me, why? Why, indeed, I do not know either," The Joker replied honestly.

"So, that's why... alright then, do it.

I shall defeat you, Joker of the Borderlands."

"Ahahahaha, yes! Then let the games begin!

Although, I'll need the help of a certain nudist..." The Joker hinted at musingly.

"?!? ... You leave him out of this!" Kuzu replied defensively.

"Don't fret, It's just that I can't take a physical form, so I'll have to possess someone to..."

"Kuzu? What..." Kyuma, seeing that Kuzu hadn't come for the snacks yet, came to find him.

"Ah, perfect timing!" mused the Joker.

"Wait, no, Kuzu don't...Aahhh," The Joker had already taken control of Kyuma's body.

"Just do it. Defeat the joker, and save all players and players to come!"

"Now, I want... that knife over there. The sharpest knife in the shed, eh?" Kyuma- or rather, the joker- reached for the knife on the table he was gesturing at.

"Please don't..." Kyuma pleaded with him.

His hands had gotten hold of the knife and was plunging it into Kuzuryu.

It was his own hands that was killing Kuzuryu.

His own hands.

His murderer.

He caught Kuzu in his hands as he fell over from his wounds.

"Ugh...it...it's ok...I'll probably... with... these... wounds...go in about 30 minutes..." Kuzu reassured the nudist.

"Please, Kuzu, don't..." Kyuma continued to plead with him.

"Please...forget me..."

"Ah, what a sweet romance this is! Shall I end it for you?" Amused the Joker, clearly either not able to read the room or just plainly oblivious to the moment of silence Kyuma obviously needed.

"YOU SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!!!" Kyuma was mad now.

"...You said you...didn't have a ...physical form, yet gave us a... sword to ....cut your flesh... what are you... planning at?" Kuzu came to a sudden realisation of a contradiction within this cruel god's words.

"What? Oh, that? Oh, I do have a physical form, I just wanted to enjoy the drama of this guy being the one to drive the sword into you, and I must say it was pretty-"

"I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO SHUT UP! TO JUST SHUT UP!"

"Oh and did he mention? For the rather large serving of icing on the cake, once you return to the real world, all memories of him will be word from the surface of the planet! You won't even remember him! AHAAHAHA!" The Joker was starting to sound a lot like Mira now. Granted Mira would never do something like this.

"...I will kill you."

"What?"

"I'll kill you. With the sword and my own two hands."

"Oh right, before I forget, here's the sword! It's made with the memory and life force of this glasses guy here! Aaahhh how interesting!

If you need me, I'll be at the Requiem Of Echoing Depths!"

And with that, the Joker was off.

Kuzu had already lost consciousness from the blood loss, and all Kyuma could do was hug his lifeless body.

"I'm sorry.... I'm really sorry...."

-----------------------

"Ah, so here we are, the nudist with his sword. And I thought you wouldn't want to come anymore after that last encounter, hmm? Anyw-"

Kyuma didn't even let him finish speaking. He straightaway swung his sword at the Joker, barely missing him.

"Oh, so we're really getting serious now, huh? Alright then...Gahhhh!"

Kyuma swung his sword again, this time plunging it into the Joker's stomach.

"Hey at least gimme a warning first, right?"

"This sword... is Kuzuryu's sacrifice. I'm not gonna let that go to waste."

Kyuma lunged forward, and before the Joker could have had any time to react, stabbed the sword into his neck and cut off his head.

"Congratulations. It is game clear. All survivors will be sent back to the real world," The familiar robotic lady voice announced.

"It's game clear, Kuzu, it's game clear," Kyuma cried, hugging the sword dearly.

--------------------

"Oi, Mira! It's your turn to pay today!" Kyuma reminded Mira of what she was supposed to do.

"What? No! I paid the last time, so it's your turn to pay now!" Mira then reminded Kyuma of what he was supposed to do.

"Shiirabi, whose turn is it to pay?" Kyuma and Mira both questioned their trustworthy third party.

"Um... Kyuma's?"

"I KNEW IT pay up now~"

"Ughhhh, fineeeee" Kyuma whined as he got up out of his comfortable seat and got ready to pay the bartender.

"That'll be $93."

"Ok. Give me a moment to find the money.."

Oh, there was already someone paying.

Wait.

There was something oddly familiar about him.

Was it the hoodie or the mask? Kyuma didn't know.

"Um, Hi. You look familiar, have I seen you before somewhere?"

He must have really startled the guy, because the moment he heard his voice, he immediately tensed up.

"Oh... uh... no." The man responded.

"Uh...I don't have enough money, I'm sorry," He turned to inform the cashier.

"Wait, lemme pay for you," Kyuu swooped in to save him from embarassment.

"Huh? Nononono, I can pay for myself..."

"No need, I've decided to pay for you, which means I'm paying for you no matter what you say! By the way, what you said just now really reminded of someone I feel like I know...

Well, you look really familiar, hey I know! How about I take you to my friend Mira? She's a psychiatrist, maybe she'll know why I find you so familiar!" Kyuma suggested.

"Oh, Mira..."

"Hmm? You know her?"

"Oh! Uh... no! It's nothing,"

"Oh right, I haven't even introduced myself yet. My name's Ginji Kyuma. What's yours?"

"... Keiichi Kuzuryu. A pleasure to meet you."

"Haha, well, we should meet up some other day, eh Kuzuryu? Mira's waiting, and if I don't get back in time, she'll slit my throat (literally)!"

"Yeah, that sounds like Mira alright, um, bye!"

Kuzu bid farewell to the enthusiastic little man.

After he left, he took out his phone.

Or, rather, his Borderlands phone.

RE: RESET DATA. CLEAR ALL MEMORY. RESET MEMORY.

...

GAME SAVED.

Whew this is really going out of the borderlands topics but I needed to have some sort of way for them to erase memory of Kuzu's existence so yeah.

Leave a note if this made you cry! I hope it did! And I hope I didn't sound like a pyschopath in the above sentence!

Btw the $93 Kyuu pays for Kuzu is actually symbolic of the Kyuu's 93rd day in the borderlands, which is the day the citizen quartet clear the K♡.

And also this is shitty because it's out of the botderlands theme but hey, at least I tried, right?

[leylayilmazx]

📸, 😱, 😁, 💕

send  😱  for  a  scared  text  from  my  muse

[1.6.22] >> I spoke to the doctor today, they said the chance of you making it is not looking good. >> I don't think I ever felt so... I stayed with you but I need to go home now, I promise to be back tomorrow. >> Don't leave because I don't know what I'd do.

send  😁  for  a  happy  text  from  my  muse

>> Oh! So I was on the way home, and you know how you always talk about that thing you wanted to try? Like you actually go on and on and on about it? That thing? >> Well, I was going all over London and I actually found it! I think you're going to be so happy when you see it! It's good, just exactly what you need before the fight. >> You're going to be so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

send  💕  for  a  loving  text  from  my  muse

>> I'm not able to get drunk, so I can't pass this as a drunk text but... If anything just pretend, ok? >> What I wanted to tell you, and. sofar just couldn't get the courage is... I thought it would take time with everything, you and me. But every time I look at you - I can't help but smile, I can't wait to get home because I know in either the night or the morning I'll get to see your face. >> You just make me so happy and I don't want to jump to anything.. But I am the happiest when I am with you.

[pjisskullourful]

I am a submissive so i can only imagine myself as a sub with Victoria, who's definitely a hard dom, everyone sees it. Like, tying you up, gag in your mouth and eats you out with loud slurping noises and shaking her head as she eats it and spits on it and calls me a good little slut for taking her and then just fingers every hole as she sucks on my nipples, aggressive licks, bites, squeezes and everything.

Or thomas. I saw the other anon request about jealousy and i don't know what you have in storage but dom! Thomas amazes me. pounding into you, one hand around your throat, other fingering you, overstimulating your clit, then flipping you over to hold you from your hair as he fucks u from behind and then in your ass, omg i wish I could experience it.

And damiano and ethan- gay enough is the best story here!! The plotline, the smut, the kiddos i love so much (bet 1000% sylvia will come out as a lesbian or pansexual maybe), or the threesome we love?

thank you for granting us with månesmut, we love to see it :) i do like your posts from my original account but i don't always log in so here i am :) love u girl, focus on your mental and physical health too

... the way that i had to stop everything that i was doing, pause my podcast [harsh reality- its completely fuckin devastating but definitely an essential listen esp for somone like me who was a kid when something about miriam ran& couldnt understand why this woman was the most attractive/most ideal partner i could ever imagine] & have to physically pick my jaw up from the ground as i started reading that 1st paragraph. not even the whole way through. i think the spitting got to me& i just... oh my arousal-- didnt see that cuming, wasnt ready for it, but happy its here.

vic is a dom- there is simply no alternative for me. she has big top energy. & my submissive ass-- she can do whatever the fuck she wants me to& afterwards i'll tell her how happy i am to be her slut as we curlup & cuddle& watch labyrinth to relax. i do have a couple of solo vic fics inmind& both of them are dom vic-- including 1 just being her standing over you while you lie onthe ground& she degrades you while you masturbate... youknow suuuuuuper casuallike🙈[& thats in addition to the 2 vic 3some fics in the werks as we speak henny]

dom tom is definitely 1 ofmy interests too. the jealous fic is definitely him being the dom, degrading the reader. i hadnt added in choking but i can[its currently sitting at 3.6k+ words]

i am so grateful that somany people enjoy gayenough cos i just really love writing it. im not saying which of the twins is gay- but 1 is

❣️thankyousoverymuch. the mental health hasnt been sogreat sofar this week[& its only tuesday-- aaaaaah] but im trying

[thatenglishmuff]

hi eberyone! im sick and have a bit of a fever ( and willprolly toss my cookies in an hour or so lol), and im in a rambly mood and i just wanna get some of my thoguhts out there,ya know? so ill put it under a cut, yall have a really really epic morning/afternoon/evening/night <333

hi! im not ready for school to start, i got my schdule today and apprantly im in 2 ap classes?? i did not sign up for 2 ap classes thank you veyr much. but its chill, ill be fine bc one of my choir classes is going to new yorl (WE GET TO SEE SIX IM SO FRICKIN PUMPED YALL HAV E NO IDEA!!!!!!!) but its reallyexpensive, so i got a job over the summer, which was cool and i made a lot of new friends from it, and theyre letting me keep the job even though i can only work friday nights now (and they just pushed back the endtime for school, but I gOt places to be people, please stop cutting into my afternoon thank you), which is cool. i got a new leotard today, it has lace in the back and its very pretty and fits well i think. the tubbo lore today destroyed me bc i was still reeling from the whole lmanburg ukelele but-you-didnt thing, and now hes discarding  his relationship with ranboo to flip burgers? doll, that is one ofyour worst decisions yet. i kept waiting for him to stop talking to big q then telling chat, yeah i dont trust him i got this job to keep a closer eye on him, esp after the whole i dont trust wilbur after all he did to me thing, but im stillvery much looking forawrd to where this will go, beeduo please communicate im beggin you. i had a voice lesson today and i was actuallly feeling not that sick so i did it over zoom just case, and my teacher said my voicewas really pretty!!! this is awesome. we finished working on “someone like you” from bonnie and clyde, or jekyll and hyde, or one of the and -yde’s idk, but next we’re working on “wishing you were somehoe here again” from poto!!!!! i love that song, and its a completely different style and im very excited! i made chicken nuggets today, tehy were very good. i also redently made fancy mac n cheese with gouda, asiago, and cheddar, with shell pasta! itslapped, it was very very good. ive been writing this one dsmp fic for abbout 2-3 months now and havent posted any of it, its 9k words sofar i just dont feeel confident in my writing, and also am losing motivation for this fic AGAIN and i have half a mind to post what i have and finish it when i get to it bc im working on  allot lot lot of original stories as well and have been spending al  my writing time on this fic and its not even thta good imo. ah well. my heads startin to hurt a lot more than it was eariler, i think thats my cue to stop staring at a screen and go to sleep but i dont wanna. but i will stop rambling now, if you read this i love you and get some help bc if youre reading an internet person’s sick ramblings, you spend too much time on tumblr and we all know thats not good for your metnal health, take a break, its ok, we’ll all be here when you get back. get some water, get some rest, i love you and we’ll het through this next bit together, yeah? yeah, we will <3

[daily-rubbersoul-redux]

The woman sighed. She had been pacing infront of her desk for about 15 minutes now, just trying to process everything that had been going on. Thankfully, things had been fairly tame as far as her people of interest were concerned, but that really did little to remedy the fact that things were going awfully for plenty of others in Morioh. Out of habit, she brought her hand up to her face as if to start biting her nails, but realized she was wearing gloves and simply tucked her arms behind her back instead. Suddenly, the door to the room opened shaking her from her thoughts. A fairly tall man wearing a dress shirt with black overalls stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

"I brought lunch." the man said, holding up a brown paper bag that appeared to be from some fast food place.

"Thank you Benjamin, could you just... set it on the desk please?" she continued pacing, one arm still behind her back and the other resting on her chin. Her brow was furrowed, and one could almost see the gears moving in her head.

Benjamin placed the bag on her desk, before asking "What has gotten you so worked up? I thought things were going fairly well."

"For our people, yes they are... for now. Though that situation has gotten worse as well in all honesty. We've lost track of that bastard, and apparently he's gained a few allies. Only 2 or 3, but they're... problematic." she turned to face the man, her previously neutral expression morphing into a distinct frown. "But as far as things overall go... It's just been nonstop. Currently there's a situation with the yakuza, before that there were serial killer threats, which are gone now thankfully, but just... Agh!" She holds her head in her hand, covering her eyes and pushing down her glasses slightly. "It's enough to give me a migrane.... Benjamin, would you mind getting me some Excedrin?"

The man gave a small sigh, and nodded. "Of course. But please, try not to put too much pressure on yourself. And if your intervention is ever necessary..."

"Of course. I will let you know." She turned around, facing a large window on the back wall of the room, as a glint of red appeared on her glasses for a split second.

"I know not when, but that day will come."

- - -

Cris splashed water on his face, before looking at his reflection in the mirror. It had been nearly a week since he had moved in with the Yukikara family, and thankfully all had been going well. He had feared (well, more so expected) atleast some resistance, especially since Celari didn't bother to tell the rest of the family about his arrival, but they had been nothing but nice to him sofar. He grabbed a towel, drying his face off, before inspecting his reflection. His right eye looked significantly paler than it's counterpart, but that was normal. His mind began to wander again, reflecting on how the individuals in the household had treated him. Sumi had been much friendlier than he had expected, and already was treating him as an older brother figure, much to his surprise. But... it was nice to be a big brother again. Even if he technically wasn't in reality. Similarly, Jeya was also very welcoming even going as far as to make him a custom uniform for his job at a nearby cafe. It even had a matching eyepatch, which was adorned with a rose rather than the usual star. As he began to put on said uniform, his mind flickered to the final person of the household. Initially, he had only known of the things Celari had done; her skill with any bladed weapon, her prestige in hand to hand combat, her general no nonsense and feirce attitude, and her supposed 'other self' that emerged purely due to her own rage. He had expected a woman of pure steel, one who he was surprised even had a family. What he got, however, was...

A sudden knocking on the door shook him from his thoughts. "Hey, ya ready to go yet? You're gonna be late if you aint within the next minute."

"Almost!" he replied, hurring to get on his vest and socks. He opened the door as soon as he was done, and rushed to the front room of the house. Celari sat at a small table, holding a coffee mug that appeared to be filled with... Hot chocolate?

"Jeez, with how long it took you'd think ya were putting on makeup." She muttered, taking a large sip from the mug and placing it on the table before standing up and heading for the door. She grabbed a coat from a small rack above a bench by said door, beforing turning to Cris. "Alright, c'mon."

Cris slipped on his shoes, and followed her outside and down the sidewalk. As he was still unfamiliar with the area, she had offered to walk him to and from work for the first week. For all the intimdation that seeped off of Celari, she was oddly motherly. They walked in silence for a few minutes, before Celari spoke up.

"....Sorry about what happened to your girlfriend. A kid like you don't deserve to be dealing with this bullshit." she kicked a small rock, sending it flying down the road. Cris was taken aback.

"Oh um... Thanks, but how did you know about that? And... didn't you get dragged into this at a younger age than I did?" He didn't bother to mention that he was... unsure of his beloved's fate. He really didn't want to think about it at the moment, preferring to pray for her safety. Celari let out a long sigh, looking up at the grey morning sky.

"Ya can answer that first question for yourself if we're both bein' honest. As for the second one, well," She looked over at him "as true as it may be, lets just say this was a fate marked for me from the start. You were just a victim of circumstance though." She looked at the sky once again, her green eyes heavy with the weight of a thousand memories. "Wrong damn place, wrong damn time." They continued in silence for the remainder of the walk, neither really wanting to risk worsening the mood. Before long, they had arrived at their destination. "Welp, this is it." Celari said, placing her hand on Cris's sholder and looking up at the sign. It read Café de Rose, which was a bit ironic considering well... the entirety of Cris's aesthetic. Celari opened her mouth as if to say something, but then seemingly decided against it, turning to Cris instead. "Well, I'll be back at 3 to pick ya up." Cris nodded, and with that Celari gave a wave before shoving her hands in her pockets and heading off in a completely different direction than the one they came from. Cris looked back at the building, took a deep breath, and stepped inside.

[catholicartistsnyc]

Meet Theresa Ambat

THERESA AMBAT is a music composer, producer, and sound designer based in Seattle, WA. [website]

From Theresa: 

I have my own personal music on Spotify and Apple Music and I just started doing freelance music production for film and video games. I also sometimes compose music using a programming language called SuperCollider. 

CATHOLIC ARTIST CONNECTION (CAC): Where are you from originally, and what brought you to Seattle?

THERESA AMBAT (TA): I was born in Japan and moved to Washington as a baby (dad was in the Navy). Lived in a small town for most of my life, then moved to Seattle to study Computer Music at the University of Washington. I now work for a parish in the greater-Seattle area!

CAC: How do understand your vocation as a Catholic artist? Do you call yourself a Catholic artist?

TA: I'd say that I'm a Catholic who is an artist. My vocation is to be a follower of Christ, and creating music is a major way for me to do that. I'm not a praise & worship artist and my work isn't always explicitly Christian, but my work is built on the foundation that is my faith and relationship with the Lord. Everything I create is for Jesus.

All I desire is to share truth, beauty, and goodness through my art. If someone can encounter Christ through my work -- whether that be by feelings of peace and solidarity, or something as incredible as conversion of the heart -- that brings me so much joy. 

CAC: Where in Seattle do you regularly find spiritual fulfillment?

TA: I was a part of a really wonderful Catholic community called the Prince of Peace Catholic Newman Center when I was in college. If you're a college student or young adult in the Seattle area, I'd highly recommend getting involved there! They've got Dominicans, tons of young people looking to explore their faith, awesome events, just overall an A+++ community. That place played a serious role in my relationship with Christ -- I don't know where I'd be without it. 

CAC: What is your daily spiritual practice?

TA: I've been struggling a little bit with daily prayer habits since starting full-time work--I guess I'm still trying to figure out a good routine. But since I work at a church I have the opportunity to do a holy hour and go to mass once a week which is great. Usually when I get home I pray a rosary with my family. I've also been reading "The Mystical Journey to Divine Union" by John Paul Thomas which is about St. John of the Cross.

I found my spiritual director Fr. Marcin during my senior year of college. At the time I was making a pretty big life decision about my future: to accept a position as a FOCUS missionary or stay in Washington to further my music career. Fr. Marcin was actually the person who kept telling me I needed to find a spiritual director, haha. We already had a good friendship by then so I just asked him! In the end, I discerned that the Lord was calling me to stay in Washington to live out mission in my job/music. 

CAC: Describe a recent day in which you were most completely living out your vocation as an artist.

TA: When in-person shows were still a thing, I performed for a SoFar Seattle show in January. It was my first paid gig ever and like, 20 of my friends (who are also Catholic) came. I think they filled up almost a third of the venue.

What's cool about SoFar shows is that the audience remains completely silent during your performances. No phones, no talking, people have to stay for the ENTIRE show, giving you the artist full-freedom to share your work without the fear of people not paying attention.

Before performing I talked about how I was Catholic, the ways the Lord was working in my life at the time, and how they related to my music. Being in secular Seattle, it was absolutely terrifying! But wow, I was received so well. After the show people started sharing with me how my story/music resonated with their own stories. If they were Catholic or not, I have no idea!

The Lord was SERIOUSLY present that night. All of my friends who came are incredible witnesses of Christ and it was just so cool to even see them interact with other people at the show and share Christ -- not by bible thumping or swinging around rosaries -- but simply by their presence and the joy that bleeds out of them.

Thinking back, yeah, I really wanted to share Christ with others through my music that night. But I'm now realizing how much of an impact my friends had on the show. Just imagine walking into a venue where THAT many people are striving for sainthood. The environment changes. I really felt like I was a part of the body of Christ that night.  

CAC: How do you financially support yourself as an artist?

TA: I currently have a full-time job at a really wonderful parish which is my main source of income. I only started freelancing maybe 2.5 months ago but to my surprise it's been flourishing well! Creating a personal website and demo reel made it really easy to share my work with others and I've found most of my gigs through the Catholic Creatives facebook group as well as Instagram.

The biggest piece of advice I have for finding work is to use social media as a tool. Document your process on instagram, create a demo reel and put it on the front page of your website, post on the Catholic Creatives facebook group! 

[Editor’s Note: Remember, you can also post in the Catholic Artist Connection Facebook group and send and find notices in the newsletter!] 

I know we all cringe at the idea of "networking" but if you think about it in the lens of evangelization, it's actually quite beautiful. No, I'm not saying that you need to "convert" people in your tweets and insta posts. But just remember that very interaction you have with a person is sacred and is an opportunity to love. Even in the digital world. When people see your joy and desire to serve, they can tell you're serious about your art and will want to work with you.

In the future (maybe 5ish years from now) I'd love to make freelance music production a full-time career. I still have quite a ways to go but I know the Lord is asking me to be patient and invest in the season that I'm in now. Transitioning out of college it's very easy to focus so heavily on the far future that we miss out on what's happening right in front of us. I'm really grateful for the opportunities the Lord has given me to serve now. 

CAC: What are your top 3 pieces of advice for Catholic artists post-graduation?

TA: 1. Post-graduation is REALLY hard. Especially during this COVID-19 pandemic. You're going to be told a lot of lies by Satan, but just remember that that's all he is. A liar.

Jesus? He is truth. So in response to each of those lies you might hear, just remember a truth that Jesus is telling you.

2. Invite God into your creative process! Make your work a prayer, write something in the adoration chapel, ask God what he thinks about your work, etc. I recorded my first album in front of the tabernacle and the Lord has blessed that piece of work in so many ways.

3. DO IT! Just do it. That thing you've been wanting to make for 72589247329 years, just start. It's never too late to just start. Stop letting your expectations for yourself get in the way. Stop waiting to get that "one piece of gear" that will make/break your project. God gave you a gift for a reason--to bring glory to his kingdom. Use it!

Let's be saints, together!

[theoutcastrogue]

Istanbul House of Detention: from Poet’s Prison to Elite Hotel

[by Andrea Young, abridged]

Sultanahmet’s courtyard in 1939: a prison. The pictured man is Nazim Hikmet.

There is an inscription, technically more of a graffito, on a remote marble column in Istanbul’s Four Seasons Hotel, repeatedly rated one of the top luxury hotels in the world. Sofar Niyazi apparently carved it in 1935 as evidenced by what is etched there: “SOFOR NiYAZi 1935,” a heart leaning just below it. Niyazi, a taxi driver, was an inmate in the Sultan Ahmet Prison, which is now one of the crown jewels of the Canadian hotel chain. Before any of this, the physical location of the prison-now-hotel was the center of Constantine’s great empire, thought to be built over part of the Emperor’s palace, which sprawled its elaborate kiosks down the slopes to the Sea of Marmara. The site of the building, used as a prison from 1919 to 1969 and then again in the late 1970s/early 1980s, was smack in the city’s nexus. Here was the Hippodrome, which housed 100,000 spectators, the Milion, or milestone, made of gold and said to symbolize the center of the Roman world.

Other than Niyazi’s testimony �� hidden in the shadows as, no doubt, it had to be in order for Niyazi to avoid the prison guards’ gaze – there are not many obvious traces that this was a detention center. But Sultan Ahmet Prison was famous in its day, especially as a temporary detention center for writers and dissidents. According to the hotel’s pamphlet on its history: “The life of the prison came to dominate the neighborhood: to say you were going to Sultanahmet invited the question ‘But what have you done this time?’”

Most guests at the Four Seasons (where the cost of a single room begins at $776 and suites top out upwards of $10,000 per night) probably don’t realize they are staying in a prison cell which used to hold between six to twelve inmates or that Turkey’s most famous and beloved poet, Nazim Hikmet, paced the courtyard outside in the winter of 1939.

The poems Hikmet wrote in prison would become his most celebrated. It was more than a decade after leaving Sultan Ahmet Prison that the likes of Pablo Picasso, Paul Robeson and Pablo Neruda rallied to have him released. As a part of a general amnesty, he was. But he was nearly fifty years old then, and had a bad heart. And when he got out, he was constantly under scrutiny and finally given punitive orders to serve in the military despite his health. He ultimately fled the country to avoid a worse fate and later died in exile. He was stripped of his Turkish citizenship in absentia. It was only regained in 2009, forty-six years after his death.

Hikmet shared his time in Sultan Ahmet Prison with other famous writers such as novelist Yaşar Kemal and satirist Aziz Nesin. And some met worse fates than he did—fiction writer Sabahattin Ali, for example, who was duped by a police informer offering to smuggle him out of the country but who led him instead to be shot by border guards. Still, Hikmet’s time in the prison was the beginning of a persecution that would determine the course of his life. It was a political vendetta toward a committed communist who championed the common man and was the first to write poetry in colloquial, conversational Turkish, and it dovetailed with the wave of fascism in Europe determined to silence left-wing voices.

When Hikmet was first apprehended, he was shipped to Ankara and put in solitary confinement in a military prison where he would be held for two months and allowed no contact with anyone, including lawyers. Later, he would say that he felt on the verge of losing his mind. His poetry began to change at this time, as his biographer points out, marking the shift from his poem “Letters from a Man in Solitary:”

No doubt my state can be explained physiologically, psychologically, etc. Or maybe it’s     this barred window,            this earthen jug,                        these four walls, which for months have kept me from hearing another human voice

After Ankara, and Hikmet’s stay in Sultan Ahmet Prison, he was taken onto the warship Erkin where he was forced into the ship’s closed latrine and then its dark bilge. Pablo Neruda would later recall a conversation with the poet about his experience there. Hikmet, overwhelmed by the stench and knowing that those in power were hoping to break him, responded, according to Neruda, by singing: “He began to sing, low at first, then louder, then finally at the top of his lungs. He sang all the songs, all the love poems he could remember, all the ballads of the peasants, all the people’s battle hymns. He sang everything he knew. And so he vanquished the filth and his torturers”. As the ship floated on the Sea of Marmara, Hikmet endured, this time, a navy trial, along with several other writers, for books which were legally published and publicly available. As the prosecutor said, “If these people haven’t done anything today, they will tomorrow”.

Sultanahmet’s courtyard today: the Four Seasons Hotel

Today the courtyard of the Four Seasons is carefully manicured, the watchtower a cheerful yellow blending into the shadowy neoclassical angles housing guest rooms with names like “Palace Bosphorus Room.” Guests are invited to enjoy late night dining where “crisp tablecloths and gleaming silver play against the rhythm of the blue-green waters of the Bosphorus” and are treated to overnight shoe shines. One can easily be dizzied by the immensity of the history surrounding the hotel, and, without knowing where to look, one would never know the building’s history, though one might ponder why its front entrance is on the House of Detention Street or why, around the corner, a street is named the “Day of Celebration,” where fortunate prisoners were released.

What would Hikmet, a committed communist, think should he be transported back to the origin of the imprisonment that would define his adult life? If he were to be offered a writers’ residency, say, in one of the “palace courtyard” rooms, would he note the irony of the fact that the prison that inmates once referred to cynically as “the Hilton” is now, in fact, a western hotel chain smack in the middle of the Eastern heart of the city? Would he, so committed to the principles of egalitarianism and the value of the common man, object to the decadent amenities of the site overshadowing its historical significance? Would he ponder how the center of empire shifted so seamlessly from a holding place for the dissident to a playground for the rich?

Some question the symbolic message of transforming such a place into such an opulent locale. “Its walls are impressively thick, and the service is exceptional, but it’s hard to tell what Orientalist fantasy draws customers to this hotel, with its low ceilings and claustrophobic corridors and memories.” The trend of transforming prisons into luxury hotels is not limited to Turkey, but it carries, perhaps, a particular poignancy given the prison’s association with silencing dissidents.

Would Hikmet, so appreciative of the small beauties of life, somehow admire the tasteful image of the ornate, engraved lock and key which graces the Hotel’s brochure about its history? Would his familiarity with life’s absurdities prompt him to laugh or cringe at Fodor Travel’s description of the hotel as “Unexpected Jailhouse Splendor” or with the joking tone of the Four Season’s brochure which quips: “At reception, new guests didn’t so much flash their credit cards as undergo disinfection”? Or would he share the sentiment of the eighteen-year inmate known as Kani who scratched on its walls: “All the world’s an inn—or that’s the tale / But Sultanahmet is a stinking jail”?

“My strength / is that I’m not alone in this big world,” wrote Hikmet while he was in Sultan Ahmet Prison. Do the guests who sleep in his decorated old cell block feel the same sense of solidarity and purpose? The same stubborn hope that allowed him to sing from the dank stench of the warship’s bilge or write poems inside the grim confines of his cell? With all of the luxury of their surroundings, do they feel the same faith in the future as Hikmet did when he wrote from that same locale:

My love, amid these footsteps and this slaughter I sometimes lost my freedom, bread, and you, but never my faith in the days that will come out of the darkness, screams, and hunger, knocking on our door with hands full of sun.

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