#tell me you haven't played any actual d&d without telling me you haven't played actual d&d

[eff-plays]

Lmao get jebaited idiot

I'm doing you a favor by blocking you. The fact that you've been obsessively checking my blog for any mention of you is a bad sign for your mental health. Please go outside and touch grass.

[o-solemioo]

Scenario: Reader is very popular with the boys and girls at forks high because he's even more beautiful than Rosalie and actually talks to people. It's Friday afternoon during lunch and all the Cullens (except reader) are at their table and see’s some random human confess to reader. Reader plays along to piss off Jasper because he didn't let him do whatever (you can pick what it was). Jasper gets jealous and pissed so he calls Carlisle and tells him to not come home until a while. He takes reader home and punishes him.

THIS ISNT MY RQ IT CAME FROM SUM1 ELSE BUT THE CREATOR DIDNT WRITE FOR TWILIGHT!

hi anon,

thanks for the ask! this will be more of a drabble, i haven't written smut in a while... but! i've been loving writing the past few days!! also, i'm not very good with sub!reader, so please forgive me if it's a tad awkward, i'm trying >-<

also, quick note, if all of you wouldn't mind reading this post, that would be lovely! just a little message (including a thing about kinktober ;D) so it would mean a lot if you would take a peek at it! thank you darlings x.

you are loved, ๏siris ☾ ⋆･ﾟ:⋆･

— you really got me

☾ pairing: jasper hale x male!reader ☾ summary: "little brat." or jasper doesn't like when you flirt with others, even if it's "just a joke." ☾ warnings: 2nd person (you), smut, porn and not a lot of plot, dom!jasper, bratty sub!reader, reader is a bit of a masochist for sure, jasper calls reader "pretty", edging, a bit of slapping (in a sexy way i promise), ruined orgasm, aftercare ofc, not proofread. ☾ w๏rd c๏unt: 872

—

To put it lightly, Jasper was pissed.

You two had gotten into a ridiculous argument about a book you had been reading on the Civil War. You had tried to tell Jasper that it was labelled "historical fiction" for a reason, but he wouldn't budge.

So, you weren't really talking to each other at the moment.

You had been enjoying your lunch, deciding to sit with Bella and her friends, because why not? They were nice people, as much as you were encouraged to stay away from them. Suddenly, Jessica chirped into your conversation.

"So... Do you have any plans this weekend?" You knew she meant it in a bit of a flirty way, but you were still mad at Jasper, so you gave in.

"No, I don't think I do." You replied sweetly, your voice dripping with a honey-like tone.

Jasper and his very good hearing did not like that.

When you arrived home that day, the house was empty. None of your vampiric 'siblings', no Carlisle, no Esme. You were confused until you heard a venomous voice behind you.

"So... going out with Jessica this weekend?" Jasper spat.

"It was a joke, Jas, learn to take one." You responded cheekily.

"Little brat." You wouldn't admit it, of course, but you were starting to get a bit excited. Jasper easily picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. You playfully struggled in his grasp, both of you knowing that it didn't matter; you were obviously going to let him do whatever he wanted. You just liked messing with him.

He tossed you onto the bed that he didn't need, straddling you and ravenously attacking your neck, nipping and sucking at the flesh that would've left marks, had you any blood to bruise in the first place.

You whined as he ripped himself off of you, slipping your shirt over your head in one swift motion. Then his shirt was off. All of the sudden, he was toying with the button of your jeans.

"W-Why'd you stop?" You asked breathlessly.

"You know what I'm gonna do to you, right?" Jasper smirked. Of course you did.

"Yeah... will you hurry it up?" Why not push his buttons just a bit more? It was fun.

He pulled your pants and underwear down at a painstakingly slow pace, your already hard cock springing out. Jasper laughed.

"I haven't even done anything, pretty" He mumbled in that lovely southern drawl.

Without warning, he gripped the base of your cock and squeezed a bit, making you gasp. He relished in the noise and leaned forward to use his spit as lube. You held the bedsheets in your strong hands as he began to stroke you excruciatingly slowly.

"Come on, what's the hold up, Jas?" You huffed out, already bothered with what you knew was a punishment of sorts.

Jasper took that as a challenge. Out of nowhere, his hand began to move rapidly against your length, pulling gasps from you and making you squirm.

He refused to relent until those fateful words slipped from your mouth.

"Jas, Jasper... I'm gonna cum-" And his hand went still. You lolled your head back and let out a groan. Of course. You wouldn't get away that easily.

And when you finally felt half-yourself again. He just started back up. Your lungs began to burn as you writhed underneath him, letting out strangled moans as he abused your cock.

Again, you felt yourself close to your peak. "Please, please," You began to beg slightly. "Let me cum."

Nope. His hand was fully off of your dick this time; you tried to close your legs, searching for any sort of friction, but he forced them open, slapping the inside of your thigh harshly, drawing another moan and a smile from you. He knew you were liking this, of course you were.

This continued for a while. You would beg him to let you cum, and he would only pull his hand off of your aching length.

Finally, the half-hour mark hit and he decided he would be nice.

The next time you piped up with a "Please, please, Jas, baby, let me cum, please..." Your voice was hoarse and rough; yet you still asked with a small smile on your face.

"Okay, pretty. Cum." He commanded. It didn't take much else for you to reach your high, but the second your seed spilled from your cock, he pulled his hand off again, leaving you with nothing to guide you through your high. You bucked into the air a few times, crying out for any sense of relief, but he just smiled as he watched you toss and turn.

When you finally came down from your ruined euphoria, Jasper left the room for a moment, leaving you heaving and half-dazed. But he returned with a washcloth, cleaning up your now sensitive dick.

"Fuck." You sighed. "That was good, actually."

Jasper let out a hearty chuckle at your words. "You find anything good." He shook his head slightly.

"So do you forgive me now?" You smiled, still a bit dopey.

Jasper smiled. "Yes, pretty. I do." That pretty drawl could put you to sleep. You were just happy it all worked out.

—

damn, i'll be honest, i wasn't expecting that to be as easy to write as it was... again, quite drabbly, but i know a lot of people like shorter reads, so i hope this is alright :)

[skwhluvr]

sung hanbin as a dad / husband | headcanons

❀ paring: sung hanbin x fem!reader 

❀ warnings : pregnancy, kissing, marriage, morning sickness, talks about insecurity due to pregnancy, pregnancy cravings, just very cute generally, fluff, small angst (?), zb1 members makes camo, hanbin (yes he needs his own warning) let me know if i missed any :D

❀ a/n: starting off by saying I apologize for any grammatical errors 😓 i watched that ep of zb1 taking care of the babies and i needed to write something + that picture influenced me sm. sticking to headcanons because im not confident at all with my story writing skills and i haven't really written one in ages. anyhow hope you guys enjoy this !!! thank you sm for the likes and reblogs on last one :(( <3 🥺

❀ was listening to all of me by john legend, dandelions by ruth b and love me like you do by ellie goulding while writing this.

- y’all should watch the ep because he’s so :((( I want to cry I love him so much <3

- during the pregnancy he would buy all those mother’s book or any pregnancy related books he could find. he would probably act like a mom who would tell you to eat certain things since it’s good for your pregnancy. He would come home each day with some random fact.

- he loves talking to the baby !!! he would lay down next to you and start talking to your tummy <3 “hi baby !! your dad is so ready to meet you ! omg did you what your mom tried today ??” he goes on telling the baby bout his day and leave kisses ALOT OF THEM.

- every night before bed he would give you a kiss and your tummy one because apparently he needs to be equal sharing his love (he’s playful)

- he’s willing to buy any type of food regardless of the time, to make sure your cravings are satisfied. on top of that he would actually join you and “try” have some of your cravings.

- one night he will find you curled up crying. it was one of those nights where you let insecurities get the best of you. immediately he would drop everything and bring you to a hug. “what happened love ?” “i just. i just feel like you wouldn’t love anymore for how i look after i give birth, and these marks it’s such-” “love don’t say such a thing. I’ll always love you and right now you’re looking most beautiful i have seen my life, carrying my child”

- he would spend the night cuddling with you and giving reassurance that you’re beautiful, amazing and best thing that ever happened to him.

- he is such a girls dad and you cannot disagree with me. I speak the truth /j

- he would be biggest supporter during your pregnancy. honestly you couldn’t have done it without his help <3

- “no hanbin no more sweets.” “but look at them ☹️ how could you say no to those eyes 🥺☹️”

- probably would say it’s time for bed and spent an hour playing with the child. hey at least you get to relax.

- randomly would surprise you and the baby with flowers or just something random

- Lego or puzzle games = family bonding

- teaches the kid how to dance. it could be random chores of their song or just any song he has in mind.

- love mothers or fathers or children’s day ! you guys have a tradition of some kind. whether it being going out to eat together or stay home and have home cooked meal. just cute little tradition for your little family ♥️

- hanbin would love to spoil his kid. whether it be toys or clothes. if he ever goes shopping he won’t forget to bring something for his child.

- he loves to bring matching clothes for three of you guys. it just warms his heart sm.

- one night you see him cry and worried you asked him what happened. he would explain how you and the baby is the best thing that happened to him. how’s he’s so thankful for it all the time 🥺 you would give him the biggest hug ever (i love him sm)

- his members came to visit the baby. boy WAS THE BABY SPOILED. all 8 off them just couldn’t stop themselves !!!

- all of them are so absorbed by how the baby is !! they would honestly fight on who’s the better uncle. hanbin will make joke how yujin has a younger sibling.

-hao is the official babysitter 😍

[redbatchedcumbermayned]

It all started under a duvet held up by an oar

Not so long ago I emailed Chris Tester, the voice of Heinrix van Calox in Owlcat’s recently released CRPG Rogue Trader, and asked if he would like to sit for an interview with me. Having some experience in interviewing people I like, most famously Oscar winner and all-around sweetheart Eddie Redmayne, this was not a completely nerve-wracking endeavour. And within a day of sending my email, Chris said yes. And what a pleasure it was interviewing him: Chris was so generous with his time, that the agreed upon 30 minutes turned into 50 minutes as we brushed upon many topics from his start as a theatre actor to his first voice-over role in a video game to his recently discovered hobby of playing D&D. Of course, we also spoke about all things Warhammer 40k, his new found fame brought on by voicing Heinrix and the insights he could share about the character.

I will publish this interview in three parts over the next week in text form and with the accompanying audio file (the audio quality is not spectacular but tumblr limits uploads to 10MB). If you quote or reshare, please quote me as the original source.

Part 2 of the interview

Part 3 of the interview

Fran: Thank you very much for taking your time.

Chris Tester: That's no problem. No problem at all.

F: So then let's start. You graduated in 2008.

CT: I did. Yes.

F: You started out as a stage actor. Did you always want to become a stage actor or an actor in general? Tell us a bit about your career.

CT: I always wanted to be a stage actor. Yes, as soon as I knew that I wanted to be an actor, which probably wasn't until I was a teenager. But yeah, my first passion was always the stage, and that was kind of borne out in my career. I would have been open to TV and film of course, if it had come along, I'm a huge fan of TV and film as well, but I never got an audition for any TV or film work.

I think I literally did about three short films in my 10, 12 years of actually professionally acting, and it is one of those industries where the more you do of one thing, the more you seem to find yourself doing the same thing to a degree. So yes, watching Shakespeare from an early age was one of my first passions.

And that was what first planted the seed of wanting to do it myself. The whole aspect of live performance is still something that I'm very passionate about. Up until 2020, when the world changed, I was trying to do two or three theatre shows a year, but since 2020, I haven't been near a stage and I doubt right now, especially with the way that the UK theatre scene is going, that I'm going to be back on stage anytime soon. I am resigned to that, but at some point in my career, I know I will be on stage again, because I can't live without it, but only for the right thing, both financially, but more importantly, creatively.

F: Your production company is currently on hiatus?

CT: I was the producer of a theatre company, which was run and was the baby of the director of the company, a guy called Ross Armstrong, who's one of the most talented writers and directors that I've ever worked with. I was helping out with a lot of the administration stuff so that he could still put me in plays. Instead of creating my own work because I'm not a very good writer or the best writer in the world, I support those people who will write me good parts. So yes, it is currently on hiatus, but never say never, we would always be looking to get back. It's difficult right now. It's difficult for all of us, because arts council subsidy, that way of being able to fund stuff, is drying up. We were doing a national tour of the UK when we were doing that [with the support of a subsidy]. There's even less money, there's even more people. I won't bore you with anything more than that, but it's kind of tough. We'd like to come back, but in the right way, and that's tricky to negotiate.

F: It's always hard as a stage actor to earn a living.

CT: Well, I've been spoiled by voice-over as well, and whereas when I was in my 20s and 30s then you're all about your art. And of course, I'm still all about my art, but I'm also about my wife and my cat and the mortgage and the bills and wanting to have nicer things to a degree as well. I've come to terms with that and voice-over does facilitate that as well as it opens you up to different roles and working with different people. So, I can't complain.

F: It's quite similar with making a living as a writer, because with a steady income you get used to a certain standard of living and once you have obligations and bills to pay, I think the stress on your mental health being creative and having all the stresses of regular life thrust upon you brings with it a challenge.

CT: It's a cliche we can very easily fall into: if I'm suffering, then it means I'm an artist. And that's not necessarily very true. It very often means that the art that we create only reflects one aspect of our lives, and it's usually a very tortured one. I am also about having wider experiences and broadening myself out. Whereas I think when I was in my twenties, I was thinking a bit more like: Oh, I'll experience the world and life through my art and just purely through my art. Whereas now necessarily I need to have a life outside of it as well, and then I can justify like I have the life so that I can feed my art or not, whatever. You know, I'll be a better artist by having a bit of a life outside of it. Maybe.

F: But that's what your twenties are for.

CT: Yeah, indeed.

F: Doing the crazy stuff, doing the band stuff 

CT: Yeah, yeah, exactly. So, there was certainly an aspect of that in my twenties.

F: So, what brought you to voice acting or voice-over work initially?

CT: Money. Video game stuff is kind of sexy and cool, and I'm a gamer, so that's important. Before I was a video gamer, I was a board gamer and off the back of that, I was a voracious video gamer, partly because I wasn't very good at team sports at school. I was always the person who was picked last in the football team. So that becomes part of your identity for better or worse. But video games, I was pretty good at, not amazing, but I was pretty good at, and I enjoyed it. And it gave me a different form of escapism as well, and off the back of that I always had an interest in them. 

So, the very first voiceover job was a video game: Dark Souls, which is quite a big franchise. At that time, I was your very typically jobbing actor. My acting agent came in and said: I got something for you. And so, I went in with that. But it was only in 2016, 2017 that I realised it was something that you could actually do yourself. People had recording studios at home and they were contacting people directly, not just going through agents. Because I'd basically written to the same 20 voice agents in the UK, mainly in London for like eight years in a row and not received anything. So, you keep knocking on those doors hoping. 

Before I'd even graduated from drama school, I'd burnt a CD and made these cases with my headshot on it and sent them all off at what at the time felt like great personal expense and didn't get anything for eight years in a row.  So, I was a bit like, I'm obviously doing something wrong, but I don't really know what, because I'm doing these workshops and getting good feedback. Then I found out through a couple of online courses, that there were ways and means of doing it myself, and that was a bit of a game changer for me, and within six months of having started, I was earning more through voice work than the bar job and the box office job that I was doing combined. Within six months, I was kind of like: “I gotta quit because I'm actually holding myself back from things.” So that was quite a big shift.

F: Somewhere you said, you started out under a duvet and with an oar.

CT: Yeah. On my website, I do have an image of it. [Dear reader, I could not locate this elusive photo] I literally had to take the duvet off my bed and put it into the living room, which was the quietest space in my then shared flat. I also had to wait until after one flat mate had watched TV and another one had used the table that had their washing on it. One of my flat mates had stolen an oar from some night out and that was perfect in order to be able to erect it over my head and the duvet as a frame. 

I did probably the first four or five months of voice recording like that. Probably about 10, 15 voiceover jobs that I actually got paid for, I was using that because it worked well enough. Since then, I've gone through various different iterations of a setup in the bedroom, to a setup in the hallway, to my current setup. In 2020 we moved to our first house, and this is the spare bedroom which I've had converted into a studio, which means my cat can be here asleep on me or near me getting fur everywhere, but it's fine. I can thrash around and I've got natural light to work in at the same time, which I find quite important. [Pictured below Chris' current setup.]

F: Very pretty. That's good. Guide us through a typical day of yours, if you like.

CT: Oh, sure. I mean, there is no typical day. And yet, and yet, and yet. A typical day for me is, because I am spending the vast majority of the day sitting in this room or somewhere close to this room, because I may need to record at short notice, because the vast majority of jobs are quite short notice. My priority is exercise for mental health more than anything. I've got some weights at the bottom of the garden, and I will get up first thing, and I will go there and I will do that after breakfast. And that's my minimal routine of physical activity done. 

And then I'll come back, and this is so rock and roll. Now what I do is, I spend like an hour on LinkedIn. And that's what you dreamed of as a creative person. Isn't it as an actor? I spend time on LinkedIn regularly every day, because it's a really good networking place for a lot of my types of work, and first thing in the morning, I'm a bit mentally sharper. So that's when I come up with a quick post that may be inspired by a bit of content that I've made elsewhere. That probably takes about 20 minutes and then I spend another 45 minutes to an hour engaging with people and saying hi and introducing myself and asking questions, whether that's with video producers or game developers or documentary makers or pretty much anything and everything. There are a lot of people who are active at that time. And so I do it.

And then after that, if I already have some recording lined up, then I'll prioritise mid-morning, because I've warmed up physically a bit more then, and I'm focused. So, you're going through the scripts, annotating the scripts, recording the scripts, editing the scripts. But then there could be live sessions at any time within that as well. I try to keep hours from nine till six. But occasionally, like with Rogue Trader, that was recorded at various different times of the day because we had people in New York, we had people in mainland Europe, and we had people in the UK. So all different time zones, so that can happen at any time. 

And then I try to do other kinds of bits and pieces of marketing whenever I've got free time to. I do use really exciting productivity hacks, like time blocking. Again, not something that as a creative individual, I was like: Oh God, this gets me so excited, because it doesn't, but it works. It's finding a system that works for you, but still has a certain kind of flexibility and fluidity. I'm trying to make sure that I get outside of the house, and that kind of stuff. 

Recently, over the last year, I’ve started doing audiobooks as well. That long form type of thing is quite nice to be able to dip into because sometimes you don't record for two, three days. You don't get the work. Nothing’s coming in. So, you’re marketing, but it kind of connects you back to the performance side of things to go: I can do a few chapters and you know, that kind of thing. So that's probably it. I try to formalise it, but you know, every voice actor’s day is radically different. There are people, some of the biggest names, going into different studios every week or every day. I very rarely, despite being based in London, I very rarely go into external studios. Like I would say 99 percent of the work I just do from home.

F: So how do you find the right voice for the specific type of voiceover work you do, maybe start with how did you find Heinrix's voice?

CT: Thankfully, Owlcat sent through quite a detailed casting breakdown. So, you get a picture, and that's pretty crucial, as well as a short bio, in terms of the background of the character, but not too much, because you have to sign an NDA, a non-disclosure agreement. But even if you do sign an NDA, I think developers are always slightly hesitant of giving you too much info about the game because things could still be changed. But I think I did get a picture of Heinrix, if not in the first audition, then certainly on the second one. From that you immediately think about the physicality and what might affect the voice, and there was also some direction in terms of what they were looking for. Anybody who has heard the character and me, they do not sound radically dissimilar. There's not a transformative process that I needed to go through, other than his sense of authority and the space that he takes up and the sureness that he has in that he has a kind of divine right from the emperor, so that level of confidence being brought through.

The other part of the audition was about the void ship [the Black Ship] that he'd been raised in and the horrors that he'd seen. And you as the actor have to do the detective work to go like this is showing another side, the more vulnerable side, the side that underpins all of his life choices up to this point. It's essentially playing the opposite to a degree. So it was kind of knowing when to let those elements bleed through a little bit. I think I had probably about a page worth of scripts, quite a lot of script actually to audition with. 

But I don't like to listen back to it a lot, because I think you get into your head. My biggest thing is stage work where it's ephemeral. You say it once and it could be different the next night. The whole point is that there's no one definitive way of doing things. Not quite the same with voice acting, where it's being recorded and you've got to get used to hearing it back. But I try not to overthink it. Just like record it two or three times with different impulses and then review and go like, those two seem pretty contrasting. I'll send those along and hope and then never hear anything back unless I do.

[velarisnightsky444]

Punishment*

Kinktober Day 2: Impact Play with Feysand

A/N: I might struggle with this one. The randomizer chose Feysand for this one so wish me luck, yall. 18+

CW: Impact play, fingering, punishment, d/s dynamics

Summary: You are mated with Feyre and Rhysand. They have been away for a meeting recently.

Word Count: 546

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Your mates had been away on business for over a week. You had missed them so much that you had hardly left your room.

Rhys had been sending you images of him and Feyre making love every night.

The night before, you hadn't been able to help yourself. You'd slipped your fingers down and rubbed that bundle of nerves until you came.

"Touching yourself with permission, darling?" Rhys had said into your mind.

And now they were coming home, and you were waiting in the bed you all shared, knees pulled to your chest.

The door opened.

You glanced up, seeing the High Lord and Lady in the doorway, Rhys with a disapproving expression stretched across his features.

Feyre pouted when she saw you, she floated over and sat down at your side. She placed her hand on your cheek.

"Are you angry with me, Fey?" you whispered. She hummed and brushed her thumb across your lip.

"Is what Rhys told me true?" she challenged, raising an eyebrow. "Did you touch yourself without permission?"

You looked down at your lap, unable to lie to her. She tutted and shook her head at you.

Rhys approached, tilting your chin up so you had to meet his eyes. With a thought, your clothes were gone. You squealed, your hands covering your chest.

"Nothing we haven't seen before, darling," he teased. You glared at him.

The talons of his powers clawed at your mind. You opened your shields to him and he entered.

He took over your mind, forcing you to turn around for him and get down on all fours. You arched your back under his control, dropped to your forearms, and lifted your ass.

You tried to fight, but you couldn't move. He was inside your head, holding you in place.

"You'll take ten," he decided.

You nodded, knowing it could be much worse. Feyre heatedly slid two fingers inside you. You shuddered and let out a moan.

"Don't make any noise," she cooed, stroking your hair with her other hand.

You bit your lip to keep quiet as her fingers continued to move in and out of you. Rhys was on the other side of you.

You jerked, screaming as you felt the first smack land on your ass. Feyre gripped your hair and yanked your head back.

"Didn't I tell you to be quiet?" she reminded you. You tried to nod against her grip. "Good." She let go of your hair and you dropped your head.

The second strike landed and you whimpered. Feyre's pace, which she had set with her fingers, stopped. She delivered the third blow herself. You hid your face in the mattress to muffle your sounds.

The fourth slap was also delivered by Feyre, but after the fifth, she returned to sliding her fingers into your core.

The sixth strike was hard enough to bring tears to your eyes. The pain mixed with the pleasure Feyre gave confused and aroused you.

The last four made the tears actually fall. But you managed to hold back your sobs.

"You took it so well," Feyre praised with a smile.

Rhys' talons released your mind, and you sat up immediately, tears streaming down your face. Feyre wiped them away for you.

"We missed you, y/n," Rhys promised you. You glared at him, which made him smile sinfully.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

Feysand Taglist:

General Taglist:

comment to be added to the taglists!

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

[hunters-vigil]

The Archon's Baby - Chapter 7 - The Pilgrimmage Begins

Previous Chapter Next Chapter

request from ao3: Make one where they have a child but the female character doesn't tell Mavuika that she is expecting a child and distances herself from Mavuika please 🙏🙏

warnings: pregnancy, pregnancy symptoms, implied suggestive stuff but nothing actually happens, traveller uses they/them pronouns anyway but I haven't picked which twin is here yet... talks about the dead (Mavuika's sister)

Fic under the cut, don't repost my stuff on other platforms, i have ao3. Reader is not the traveller. Reader's adoptive sisters are Chasca and Chuychu.

Chasca's character teaser made me want to sob so you get this early.

The Pilgrimage started in two days, and you hadn't spoken to Chasca since the argument, while Chuychu came to check on you not long after Xilonen left for her meeting with the archon.

"She's cooling down. Just give her some time. It took a lot for her not to storm the Speaker's Chambers..." Chuychu admitted with a tired sigh.

"Well, I need her not to charge in there any time soon. Mavuika invited me to stay with her instead of the Inn. I'd rather not have a heart attack from her storming in while I'm asleep." You replied, playing with Chuychu's fingers, that tensed at the moment you admitted to staying with Mavuika.

"That guy from the Masters of the Night-Wind, Oronon, asked about you. Said you weren't home when Ifa went to drop round some vegetables and aphid honey." Your sister changed the subject, her eyes wandering around the room, before settling on what you had been working on when she arrived.

"I forgot about that. Ifa started bringing food over after that saurian Chasca was fostering for him ate my plants." You confessed, shaking your head at the memory. It was only when you realised what Chuychu was looking at that you moved your hands to shield it.

"It's not, it's not finished!" you let out a groan, your attempt to hide the project were halfhearted at best, but your sister just huffed at you. She treated you differently to Chasca, while she would pick fights with her older sister to make her blow off steam and watch her abyssal illness, she was softer with you. She had to be, ever since Chasca made you cry that one time when you were all a lot younger.

But that time was resolved with food, and promises to play together. Now, Chuychu was unsure how to resolve the issues. Chasca wasn't even mad at you anymore, she was just uncomfortable with the situation at hand. Her youngest sister and the pyro archon together... even Chuychu hadn't expected that, but you had been spending a lot of time with the archon back when she first became the pyro archon...

"It's a record. You, Chasca, me, our parents... Mavuika is there too, but I'm making a separate one for her. She deserves it, with everything that rests on her. Natlan's fate rests on her shoulders, it's a lot..." you trailed off, realising you were toeing the line of what nobody but the six ancient name bearers and Mavuika should know.

"You're preserving her legacy, and our family's legacy. Has something happened with Mavuika? You're not usually this sentimental when it comes to history, and that's saying something-"

"Do not blame hormones, I'm only eight weeks- can we continue this conversation after I go pee?"

Chuychu held back a chuckle, nodding as you hurried off to the bathroom.

"Chuychu? I have not seen you in a while. Do you have business with me, or are you here to see your sister?" Mavuika's voice in the speaker's chamber should not be uncommon, but the god of war had not been expecting Chuychu in her private chambers, not without you present at least.

"She's in the bathroom." Your older sister held back a grimace at her voice, trying not to show disrespect to her archon, but it was hard now she knew of another side to her, "Apologies, archon, for my tone."

"It's fine, Chuychu. I know it was not what you or your sister expected when finding out your youngest sister was dating someone. Let alone, having a baby." Mavuika smiled softly as you walked in, heading into her awaiting arms.

The silence was almost awkward, well, it was awkward for Chuychu, until she noticed how at peace you were with your lover.

"I'm going to head out and check on my patients. Treat my baby sister right, archon. And you, drink some water. You've been drinking enough xocoatl that you've probably surpassed Xilonen." Chuychu bid the two of you farewell, giving you a warning look as Mavuika chuckled. Clearly your xocoatl craving was getting out of hand.

"I'll see to it." Mavuika stated, much to the look on your face that disagreed with the taste of water at the moment.

"Water doesn't taste good." You pouted, your fingers playing haphazardly with the zipper of Mavuika's bodysuit.

"My love, what are you doing?" Mavuika hummed in amusement as you continued to play with her zipper.

"You smell better than the food Chuychu tried to give me... and I missed you, we finally have some time to ourselves before the Pilgrimage in two days..." you trailed off, but whatever you had in mind, was not what Mavuika expected, as she ended up with you asleep with your head on her chest, listening to her heartbeat.

She watched as your eyelids fluttered, hearing your soft breathing, in and out, in and out...

"Feels too early for so many people to know..." your voice interrupted her thoughts, burying your face in her exposed collarbone, having tugged the zipper down enough for the skin-on-skin contact to be enough for you.

Mavuika hummed, gently brushing an eyelash from your cheek.

"Can I stay here? During everything... I feel safer here, like the flame is watching over, or it's you, I feel safe around you. Maybe both?" your half-awake rambles trailed off as you frowned to yourself, missing how Mavuika's face lit up at what you said.

"You may stay as long as you want, my love. Besides, it's not like you aren't well-versed with your surroundings here." Mavuika chuckled, recalling how many times the two of you had been around the stadium together, whether you were meeting for official meetings, sneaking in between her meetings, or spending the night in the archon's bed...

"Hehe, well... at least you can't get me any more pregnant..." you mumbled, knowing that would be a poor defensive argument to have with your sisters, if it came to it. Shaking your head, you changed the subject, "there are rumours of the golden outlander coming to Natlan next... it's that time of year again."

"I see... honestly, I have been awaiting the day with grave importance. I plan to give offer them Natlan's highest form of hospitality, after everything they have done in each nation so far. The Traveller is a tremendously skilled warrior after all."

"The Traveller? Is that what everyone calls them? Is everyone just being lazy and not calling them their actual name? That's like calling our child, 'the child' instead of their name... but it's too early to think about that." You began to complain, but your voice became muffled as you buried your face in Mavuika's bare chest, much to her amusement.

"Every rumour and story we've heard from anyone visiting seems to refer to them by a different title." Mavuika agreed, her breath hitching as you moved to press a kiss to her collarbone, continuing down to her sternum. Her hand cradled the back of your head, preventing you from going further, much to her reluctance.

"We should be having dinner soon, and unfortunately, my love, eating me does not count." The pyro archon listened to her better judgement this time, despite the pout on your lips at your activities being ceased.

"Am I not allowed to indulge myself in a snack?"

"And you once called me the Archon of Horniess..." Mavuika grumbled, shifting slightly to try reduce the hot feeling flickering across her body. You got under her skin so easily, just from a few kisses-

"Can we have chocolate?" you watched Mavuika's face crinkle up in confusion.

"For dinner?"

You hummed in thought, "with xocoatl?"

"Ah, you heard Chuychu's warning about that, my darling-"

"Ugh, fine. I'll have a forest of colour salad!" you grumbled, folding your arms as you tried to rack your brain for foods you could eat. So many Natlanese recipes had ingredients that you had been warned against...

"What about blazed meat stew?" your lover enquired, tapping her finger to her chin as she tried to think over options.

"Heartburn..." you winced at the thought, giving up and laying down on Mavuika's chest again.

///

The day of the pilgrimmage was almost here, with teams gathering in the stadium entrance to sign up. Preparations were underway, while Mavuika was out and about, Chasca and Chuychu were also busy, leaving you to peacefully sleep in Mavuika's bed after your check-up. Although it was technically a conflict of interest for Chuychu to be your doctor, as your sister, but the situation was sensitive, and the first trimester was full of risk, your sister's goal was as low a risk pregnancy as she could give you. She kept you calm when Mavuika couldn't...

The rumours of the golden outlander and their silver floating companion reached you that evening, when Mavuika returned to join you in bed, holding you close as you listened to her talk about her day.

"I have ensured that they will serve many foods you can safely pick from at the banquets for the Pilgrimmage. If you wish to attend, of course... I know you have had little energy recently." Mavuika's fingers gently drew patterns on your back, listening to each breath you took. In and out. In and out.

"I miss Chasca... Chuychu is still around but, she says Chasca will calm down, I just hope it's before the baby is born, but that's so far from now..." you began to ramble quietly, before your thoughts changed, "I'm glad you're here..." you whispered, eyes cracking open to look at Mavuika's sunshine eyes, a soft smile on her face as you gazed up at her.

"I am too, my darling." Mavuika whispered, pressing kiss after kiss to your face, peppering you in them as you began to giggle and squirm.

"You and your sisters will settle down again... from what I can tell, Chasca isn't angry at either of us anymore, judging from how she was cordial when I saw her. I think, although I can make no assumptions, I believe Chasca isn't sure how to approach you after everything..." Mavuika theorised, her heart aching at these sisterly issues. It reminded her of Hine, and how Mavuika had not been there to defend her sister from possible suitors.

Your silence led to Mavuika glancing down, noticing how you were looking up at her with a soft expression, "my sisters and I... we remind you and Hine."

Your archon hummed, closing her eyes as you began to play with her hair.

"My love, you've stopped eating the Saurian treats that were given to you, right?" you felt Mavuika tense up, her body flushing with heat as she realised she had been caught.

"Uh, yes, I went out to find some wild saurians to give them some, since they were a little dry and-"

"Baby, those were for baby saurians... which I found out after dipping them in xocoatl." You admitted, gaining Mavuika's attention as her eyes widened.

"You ate them too?"

"There's nothing in them that could affect me, Chuychu checked, then she realised they were for saurians after." Biting your lip as Mavuika began to chuckle, her nose brushing yours as she leaned in to show you affection.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

///

"My heart, it's the morning. The Pilgrimmage begins soon. How do you feel?" Mavuika gently woke you, pressing her lips to your forehead as you whined, reaching out for her in determination for her to come back to bed.

"How do you feel?" your voice was hoarse, full of sleep as you sat up, regretting it as the nausea hit you, flailing with the covers to hurry to the bathroom of Mavuika's chambers.

"I guess that answers that question..." Mavuika muttered to herself as she rubbed your back comfortingly, having gotten used to your morning sickness by now. If you were lucky, it would taper off by the end of your first trimester, but you had to get there first.

"Let's get you sorted... it doesn't start yet, so I have time for you, before my duties as the archon." Mavuika cooed, helping you from the floor once you were finished, letting her help you get ready before she had to head out.

There was an offer to sit in the audience of the stadium, so you decided to attend the opening ceremony, sitting down with a cushion beneath you as you waited, hoping to get a glimpse of your sister, who would be competing today.

"Hello! Paimon's Paimon, and this is the Traveller, are we okay to sit with you?" a floating silver creature asked, as an individual cloaked in gold stood behind her, looking at you.

"Sure. It's nice to meet you both. I'm-" you cut yourself off, spotting Mavuika stand up from her throne, a throne that made you blush to think about. It was well hidden however, as the swirling pyro energy heated up the stadium, your lover displaying her use of the flames, as her hair ignited, and she began her speech.

"Skill, strategy, fortune, form... many factors influence strength, but victory never lies. The Pilgrimmage is not merely a trial to determine the strongest among us, but also a stage upon which to showcase your individual growth. Today marks the beginning of yet another legendary saga - one written in the triumphs of the victors! So, without further ado... let the games begin!" Mavuika announced as a horn sounded.

"So, that's the pyro archon? Is it just Paimon or does she seem kinda intimidating?" Paimon enquired, frowning at the amused smile on your face.

"She's been practicing that speech for a while now. You're free to talk to her, just leave it until after the games." You interrupted Paimon talking about how Mavuika was an ordinary person before becoming the Archon. To you, Mavuika was extraordinary... Archon or not.

"Oh, look! It's Kachina and the others!" Paimon shouted, but your eyes lingered on Chasca, and the Flower-Feather clan members you were avoiding, who were chanting her name.

"Um... hey, golden outlander, I know everyone calls you 'the Traveller' but... anyway, could you help me up please? I need to pee again..." you felt your face burn red as the legendary blonde traveller raised an eyebrow, but didn't hesitate to help you up, watching you walk away. The only thing on the Traveller's mind... 'again'?

Mavuika kept an eye on you in the crowds, watching as you were helped up and headed off, almost confusing her until she realised where you were heading. "Of course... the bathroom." She chuckled to herself, before redirecting her attention to the finishing teams stage. Chasca's team had won, so had Kinich's, Iansan's... and the team of Mualani and Kachina too.

///

(a/n: also is anyone interested in other fics, I have at least two written that I haven't posted, one is for Jeht x AFAB!reader, one is Arlecchino x gn!reader, another is Xilonen x AFAB!reader but that's not finished… I also wrote a Mavuika request I had. Arguably it's not so detailed that you could say it fits in this universe but it can be read separately.)

[ivomartins]

I see many people consider Dmitry a redflag LI but to me he's a morally grey character: he finds a strange girl amidst the rift and assigns her a place in the squad instead of, you know, just taking Lane hostage when she's made it clear she's pursuing her own goals and only compels to the squad's decisions because she has to.

I understand why the interrogation episode is icky for many people but for me the devil is in details: Dmitry stops the interrogation because he doesn't want to hurt Lane further, and the whole situation can be seen as a necessary evil from the squad's pov, given Lane's actions. And at the same time, Lane doesn't deserve that shit either: she's all alone in a trust-no-one situation, and now she sees very clearly that the squad is not her friends.

To me that's what moral greyness is: different interpretations of the situation, when you can see motivation of both parties without whitewashing them.

Dmitry's conversation about turning your weakness into your strength adds another facet to his character, just like the stolen babushka gift 😭. I love the way Alexandra shows that he actually cares about Lane through him wanting to give her a chocolate bar or helping her with the work and sacrificing his sleep.

And the soulmatism of their branch is so well done. It's not "your mc is promised to this LI although you'd rather have her killed him in a cold blood" but "yes the situation we found themselves in is fucked up and bleak but at least we have each other because in another universe we'd pass each other by without looking back"

And I love how you can see Dmitry lashing out in the latest episodes, with more and more people in the squad dying, because he's responsible for their lives, he's the leader. And you, as a player, can choose Lane's reaction to his behaviour.

But the thing that truly made me sympathize with him is him telling Lane "It would be sad to lose my humanity while hunting for monsters and become one in other people's eyes. I hope I haven't cross that line yet?.."

That's how you write morally grey characters! 🙌

P.S. His latest CG fucks

i'm shook tbh that some people consider dmitry a red flag LI 😭 like yeah. the interrogation scene was iffy and lane didn't deserve that. but the world has literally gone to shit and this is a man who's been forced by circumstances to blur the lines of his morality for the greater good and the safety of the people around him ??? when we take that and the post-apocalyptic survival-of-the-fittest setting into consideration, plus the fact that lane was sus from day 1 and didn't really make any effort to prove herself trustworthy, the interrogation makes perfect sense

and like you said the morally grey nature to dmitry is the most interesting thing about him especially when it ties into the development of his bond with lane like !!!! with cain there's affinity in their position as outcasts and the apathetic nature they share, suspended above everything, untouched by what otherwise jars everyone else in the squad

but with dmitry their affinity lies in dmitry having a different nature to lane and still being drawn to her despite that, still accepting her to the point where she points a fucking gun at his head and he doesn't even flinch 😭 and doesn't even hold it against her later on like ??? there's so much devotion and unconditional acceptance to it and for me personally as someone who's on the whisper path it's definitely giving "the hero loving the monster and cherishing their blood-soaked hands" kinda dynamic

like it's "human" organic soulmatism like you called it, to balance out the otherworldly ambiguous soulmatism with cain. ugh i can't enough of it

i also love how he's been lashing out too and that not even lane has been exempt from that because he's just under that much pressure. i just adore how every single character has been written with their own role to play in the story, completely independent from lane, and they all get to develop just as much as she does as the story goes on 🥹

(and yes his cgs have been superior, even to cain, since day 1. i will die on that hill)

[factual-fantasy]

27 asks! Thank you for all the kind words! :}}}💙💙💙

@network-warrior-01

Funnily enough I have been thinking a lot recently about making my own web comic, right here on Tumblr! I have a lot of concepts, although I don't know if I'd make a separate comic just for the Factual Fam. I feel like they kind'a already have a web comic..? In a way.?

And I feel like if I made a story driven comic about us, separate from the ones I'm already making.. It would feel.. idk, off? My lil guys are meant to be with me, going with the flow of whatever's going on with my blog/my life. This is their story. Their lives with me are their story. If that makes sense?? I'm not sure if I have any other ideas in mind for them.. what would their world even look like if I wasn't in it or if it was different from what they have now..??

But on the other note, could you imagine? Me? Making a 100% original comic? With my own original characters, story, and world? Its a daunting thought. The sheer amount of stuff I would have to plan and the amount of angst I could inflict on ya'll would be insane <XDD

And yeahh,, the fanart thing would be a problem... <:/

The four of them sit together at the base of my stuffed animal pile. Nice and cozy! :}}

@cudlycorncornsworthcoberson

Actually the quilts are rather deceiving, they're just for show! <XD Bibi was conscious and could talk when he was still a picture. And he became a drawing without the use of a quilt. Jangles had a quilt but was still a picture. He was later "brought to life" with my pen!

The thing about all that life stuff, quilts, pens.. its honestly just for show. Those things don't bring them to life, I do. The flashy ways I do it are just for fun <XD

And about Cici! She was talking! And I think kind'a the idea as to why Jangles could hear them both was not only for the spooks. But becuase Cici and Gerald's concepts were so strongly developed at that point they were basically fully fleshed out characters. Their bodies just didn't exist yet. Hence the "I cant see" I hadn't stitched her button eyes on yet!

So basically their personalities and designs had been thought out. They just weren't there yet. But their presence was still so strong.. And Jangles being a picture kind'a bridged the gap between the concept world and the drawn one. If that makes sense??

He could still hear them after he was drawn though, I guess its an ability that he kept even after being art-ified..? <XD My lore's a little whack- its best not to look too far into it!

Also thank you! I'm glad you liked it all! :DD

Like I've said before, the best way to show you care is with comments. That's what would make me the happiest. :)

And sure I will! Some comics and random cameos here and there.. I already have some comics in mind.. 👀👀

I haven't seen the Puss in boots movie, but something tells me you're right XD

Hmm.. I don't actually know.. That's a good question :0

I guess they would react the same if us humans found a group of people like that. And what would humans do? Probably report it to someone?? <XD

@minophlia

XDD Thank you! I'm so glad you like me and what I make!! :DDD

Giant scary abstracted monsters that attack anything in the vicinity?? Nope nope nope!! Jevil would FREAK OUT and Immediately warp them out of there with a mirror. Cant risk anyone getting hurt!

That's not a half bad idea! :0 I'll see if I can remember to get around to it <XD

Also thank you so much!! :DD

All I know of punch out is from smash bros. And I got beef with Little Mac. Anytime anyone plays as him they always kick my butt XDD

I imagine Jevil wouldn't tolerate it much. If Jax was being a butt towards Jevil that's one thing. But as soon as he starts to direct that to anyone else in the group- especially Seam.. Then there's gonna be a problem. :x

Seam would be annoyed. But its likely the same as Jevil. He doesn't really care about his antics, but as soon as its directed at Jevil or someone else.. well then there's a problem-

@abaroo

Thank you so much!! :DD And of course I held his widdle hand! He needed the emotional support! He was making the biggest decision he's ever made in his life- <XD

And you're welcome! <XD I'm so glad you liked it! :}}

No no no no that is the wrong habitat for me!

I need to be put in a cardboard box with all the flaps open except for 1. There needs to be a grassy/muddy floor and a bowl of water.

Then put this box out in your backyard in the pouring rain. Don't give me anything to warm myself, and only feed me refrigerated watermelon. Now THAT'S what I call a comfy habitat!

@multiverse-city

Thank you so much! :DD I appreciate the compliments!! :}}

Although I'm sorry to say that I don't want me and my critters to show up as background characters.. <:( Sorry!

He probably has a couple of times yeah. Maybe right after big events or shows he got pushed over the edge and crashed.. :(

He might..? But I think Freddy would want to give Bonnie space.. Becuase when Bonnie is overwhelmed, that's what he wants. Is silence and space. And when Freddy is around Bonnie he would try to be really quiet and not move around too much..

So many siblings...

My only thought is that my version of the Daycare Attendant would better fit the role of Kaufmo. :0 The idea that he suddenly disappears, only to reemerge as a monster..

That, and I would shoe horn a bunch of unnecessary angst in there XDD

:DD Thank you so much!! :}}}

WAAAAA THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! Its so nice to hear that even though you knew nothing about the characters, you still loved my comic!! :DD And thinking my critters have depth?? And feel human?? WAAA THANK YOUUU!!! I try to give them all separate personality's and really put some emotion into them, I'm so glad you've noticed! It seems to be working! :DD

And again a thousand thank you's for the compliments to my sona! :DD The bloodied hands and dripping face getting worse and worse as the comic progresses to show my exhaustion,, even the comically placed hands! I put a lot of heart into all of it and I'm so happy that you've noticed!!

Thank you for all the kind words! Sending platonic love right back at ya!! :DDD 💙💙💙

@anartistwhowrites

THANK YOU!! :DDD

<XD Noooo don't cry! Thank you though, I'm glad you liked it! :))

@beryl-shade

One word; Horrified.

Aww, I'm sorry it made you cry! <:(( But I'm glad you liked it none the less! <:}}}

@badlyblurry

Darn <XD I had it match my Tumblr's theme.

@crimson-thinker

My main thing is it just feels like they "stole" what I made and drew it without asking me. And then turned around and gave it to me as a gift. Which obviously isn't what fanart actually is. But that's just how it feels.

But hey, your ask has many more reasons for me to not like fanart <XDD

The idea I had was they can use Power-Ups purely becuase they're human. Like, something about just being human gives you access to the power the Power-Ups have. .

Do you have a different idea though? I'd love to hear it! :)

[just-a-random-dead-thing]

~Lost and found~ (Larissa Weems x student!reader)

The reader is 19 in this fic!!! The show makes it clear they have students well above the age of consent.

Sorry for the longer than expected wait! Mocks are a bitch and a half! The reader is a snarky little shit in this chapter btw- The chapters will be getting slightly longer as I get more comfortable with the story but please let me know if you would prefer shorter chapters.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2 (1.2k words)

Thank you for all your kind words about the last chapter <3 I hope you continue to enjoy my shitty angst!!!

Lastly thank you once again to @thefangedman for the editing to make the story make any semblance of sense. You should check out their Tiffany Valentine fic! It's amazing!!!

Static takes over my senses. I slowly come round from my near death experience at the hands of my own Headmistress - ‘my duty is to protect all the students within these walls’ my ass. The glaring lights start to bother my shut eyes, begging me to open them and rejoin the living world. I'll give it 5 more minutes. I haven't had a nap like this in years.

Just as I'm getting comfortable, I hear the tapping of heels on a wooden floor, pacing back and forth. From what I can piece together, Weems accidentally impeded my ability to breathe; I passed out and she has dragged me to her office because she's too embarrassed to tell the nursing staff what happened. Hmm... I should have some fun with her. Fake amnesia seems like it'll do the trick. I mentally smirk, thinking over the horrified reaction I'll get to see on her face.

I flutter open my eyes to play into the act of just having awoken. I stare at the ceiling, hearing her rush towards me. "Mx/Mr/Miss L/N, how are you feeling? It appears you... umm, passed out in the corridor."

I turn to face her, sitting up on the leather sofa I'm lying on. I rub my forehead, slightly obscuring my eye as a confused expression crosses my features.

"...I'm sorry but who is Mx/Mr/Miss L/N, and who are you?" Her face, like I thought, is priceless - she even backs away slightly.

Her voice quivers as she talks, an unfamiliar tone in the usually confident woman.

"S-shit...no no no. This can't be happening, I d-didn't. God, what am I going to do-" with this, she grips my face in her hand, the other removing my own from my forehead, grasping it gently as our eyes meeting in perfect alignment. The only difference is her eyes are glazed over with tears that will fall any second, "I am so sorry, Y/N..."

God, this was meant to be fun, but it's just depressing.

I swear, she has an ability to suck all the joy out of anything I do. I roll my eyes at her, but in reality a small part of me feels regret. Regret over my actions, regret over leaving her in this state, but alas, I repress this thought and lean into the anger. I rip my hand out of hers and shove her away from me.

"You're so annoying! I can't even prank you after you nearly murder me without you sucking the joy out of it. Also- thanks for being too scared to take me to see the nursing staff, or even an actual fucking doctor incase God forbid you got into trouble. I could have gotten actual brain damage-"

I am interrupted mid-rant when she embraces me, her face buried in my neck, now fully sobbing. Fuck. Why do I always have to be such a blunt asshole? I need Noah to translate my words into nice ‘feeling protecting’ ones, he's good at all the dumb emotional stuff. Normally I am at least okay at faking, and I can get by, but everything just feels so foggy. No matter how hard I try, I can't concentrate on finding the right words.

I feel awkward as her hot tears sear into my skin like a mark of shame. I bring my hand to her head, undoing her usual pristine hairstyle. I run my hand over her scalp and the nape of her neck, gently scratching her skin. She calms down slowly, relaxing more into me more. My hand slows with her tears, until both cease and we remain there, unmoving for what feels like eternity. Neither one of us knows how to proceed, not wanting to ruin our brief moment of peace and unspoken understanding of what the other needs.

It has to end eventually however, and I am the one to do so, saying words I never thought I'd utter to this woman in my life. Before I can gather what to say three simple words cross my mind, "...I am sorry."

No. I will never apologise to this woman.

Instead I simply remove all venom from my being. I render myself completely vulnerable to her, a spider without its fangs, completely defenceless. "I don't think before I speak. As you know I'm not exactly great at the whole communication thing. So understand, I did not mean to hurt you. I just struggle when taking others emotions into account and instead I chose to be selfish by lashing out at you, it was immature of me."

The air felt thick as I tried to regain my lost stoicism. I feel shame and pity for both of us. I pry her away from my body as I stand, desperately needing to leave, but my legs buckle beneath my weight as everything goes blurry - fuck. I must have hit my head harder than I thought.

Before my body can meet the welcoming ground, I am snatched by a set of strong arms. She turns me to face her once more, before gently setting me on the settee. She turns away from me walking towards her desk as she speaks, her voice still not quite back to it's typical happy/mildly aggressive cadence.

"I had the nurses come to see you here, because I know you don't like the nursing wing of the academy. They said you'd have a mild concussion from hitting your head, and told me to observe you, which is why I didn't put you in your dorm. I know you think of me as being too proud to admit when I am wrong, but I want you to know I will never put my pride before the health of you, or anyone else in this academy."

God, what is wrong with Weems, I think I broke her. She's being too emotional - in the sad way, normally she's just angry. I swear, she speaks exclusively in passive aggressive niceness. I lift my head to properly meet her eyes.

She has taken her seat pride of place behind her desk, having almost the same power behind it as when a queen takes her throne. I begin to verbalise my thoughts.

"Are you on your period? Or are you too old for that... when does menopause start? Oh wait, could it be perimenopause? Oh god, are you pregnant? Can you still even get pregnant?" I become horrified as the last thought even crossed my mind, that poor child.

I notice Weem's equally horrified expression contorting her features, "Mx/Mr/Miss L/N just how old do you think I am exactly? I also don't appreciate the invasive line of questioning, but for your information, no, I am not pregnant."

I shutter slightly feeling her peircing gaze wait for me to answer her. "I want to say, 54...?" Oh God, she looks like she's about to slap me. "54! I beg your pardon, Mx/Mr/Miss L/N, I am 44, and I do not appreciate you aging me a decade! I should give you an extra detention for this alone."

I look at her, wondering if she has been seriously affected by my words, merely her vanity showing as per usual, or if this is her failed attempt trying to be more humorous while scolding me. I run my hand through my hair and let it fall over my eyes.

"I don't give a shit how old you are! You still cried like a baby either way, get over yourself, you're not 2. So what? You nearly murdered someone, we've all been there. You aren't special, so don't expect sympathy from me!"

Weems stands once and strides towards me. I am not interested in her lectures about manners and etiquette, so I leave quickly through the nearest set of doors and out into the corridor, taking a sharp right into the closest room to me.

Grabbing the chair beside me, I barricade the door, allowing myself to slide down it and contemplate all that's happened thus far, while also figuring out an excuse. I look around the room, only now realising I've locked myself within Weems' bedroom.

"Shit."

================tags================

@the-bagel24, @suckerforcate

[absolutebl]

I kinda fell out of the BL game the last several months thanks to irl things, but I think I'm finally feeling like wading fully back in. I started with Love Syndrome III(only because @heretherebedork piqued my interest) and just finished Moonlight Chicken. What should I watch next? My limits are romanticized sexual assault, cheating, miscommunication as a main plot point, and no HEA. I could also do without a straight side couple, but I'd tolerate it if the main plot and couple are really good. Bonus points if there's a D/s dynamic, but that's not 100% necessary.

Thanks ❤️

Best of 2023 So Far?

Of course darling!

Hum last several months? Let's see...

Our Dating Sim (Viki) - if you haven't watched this it's a must. I actually handed out a 10/10. I NEVER do that. I can't tell you how much I loved this show (or have already rewatched it). It's a perfect short form KBL, an office set reunion romance featuring geeks that really suits 8 eps with no fluff and no chaff. Just comforting and yummy. Full review.

The New Employee (Viki) - just so good, SO QUEER, so soft, a near pitch perfect office BL with conflict derived from that setting. Also... Rainbow Rice Cakes and found fam and a lesbian bestie and all the goodness. My review is on MDL.

The Eighth Sense (Viki) - speaking of queer, this one is a bit rough (sticky and gritty), more in the Moonlight Chicken area. But very high quality, fabulous chemistry, and a remarkably complex offering for a KBL - think Blueming-esk but even better.

Unintentional Love Story (iQIYI) - @heretherebedork and I LOVED this one, but it is kinda hard to get hold of. I found the seme a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (who plays the uke) is a fucking GIFT. He has THE MOST expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict tension and pressure is complex and excellent plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya). Review on MDL.

My School President (YouTube) - I adored this one! My favorite GMMTV offering in dog's age, and my new favorite pair GeminiFourth. It could have gotten a 10/10 from me but for too much singing. This is the side pair from Moonlight Chicken anchoring a high school BL full of the most teenage pining ever and it's GREAT.

All the Liquors (Viki, Gaga) - another KBL hitting hard and solid. This one is KBL-weird in the way of Tasty Florida or Behind Cut (which I've gotten used to, but is kinda a "type" now). It will wig you out if you have any baggage around alcohol. The logic behind the phobias are typically Asian romance qua? BUT it's still quite cute.

Never Let Me Go (YT) - of GMMTV handing out new series to established pairs this has been the most successful IMHO. PondPhuwin were about 10000x better in this than FUTS (and that's FUTS's fault, not theirs). It's typically Thai in that its a bit bloated and has a confusing plot, but at least it HAD a plot and the central relationship is solid and loyal. Their Our Skyy 2 follow up is also good. And very much adds to the cannon in a fun way rather than feeling superfluous - making this show ultimately 14 eps rather than the usual 12.

Bed Friend (YT, iQIYI, Gaga) - speaking of a bit bloated, this one derailed somewhat in plot for me (even at 10 eps) but NetJames really are glorious, and absolutely the hottest and the prettiest of 2023. Full of triggers for childhood abuse and sexual assault (backstory), but the main pair is very communication-heavy and based on a fuck buddy premise which has negotiation and everything, unique & fun to see. This is my high heat rec for the year so far, because the heat is PART OF THE PLOT and that's a gift we don't usually get. Review on MDL.

Between Us (iQIYI) - I'm still processing this one. I didn't have as high expectations as most but it was still a little disappointing. BounPrem are lovely of course, but somehow it just wasn't quite what I wanted. I did a watch along for this one so you can see me struggle. However, objectively, held up against other BLs? It's actually pretty darn good.

I hope some of these you haven't seen. None have romanticized sexual assault, cheating, or miscommunication as a main plot point (hum... maybe Between Us? Honestly I can't remember the plot points, it was all over the place), and all have HEA (this is me after all(.

[three-dee-ess]

hiiii 3DS tour!!!!

from the day i first got it, i knew to name it Happiness..... nothing deep about it i just wanted to say "my mom took my Happiness away for exam week :("

a bit of a reveal but i'm the anxious sticker placer anon haha it's still plain to this day if not for a few scratches (a lot actually but it's not that noticeable, right? qwq)

the barcode and numbers are super faded i can't read them!! plus the scratches are much more noticeable, im not sure where most of them came from but i remember one of them is when i accidentally dropped a screwdriver on it oops

the cartridge is pokemon black 2!! i've had this game before Happiness. yup i have a metallic rose DS lite that's sooo busted up, (well i had a coral pink DS lite before that but i got mugged when i was like 7 years old and it's gone which is a story for another time)

anyway, metallic rose had dead pixels that spread like some fungus, L button didnt work at all, buttons feel gross to press now, etc yknow normal 7 year old not knowing the value of things thing

i'd send a picture but it's back at my old house, pray that the spiders know how to play dig dig dug

:D i'm very normal about cyrus pokemon i swear

if you check my theme plaza account you can see i also made one (1) batch of badges which is hunter x hunter badges as you can see from the folders, i'm also very normal about hunter x hunter i swear

i wanted to lay everything out without folders and arrange everything pretty but it's so hard how do all of you do it qwq

gon folder (top left folder) are my 3DS gaammeess, i haven't played some of them bc i still got a lot of games to finish but they're there!!

frens (i didnt make the badges other than the hunter x hunter ones btw!)

killua folder (top right folder) contains DS... well used to, now it holds other games! i also haven't played most of them im so busy qwq

i deleted the shortcuts for the DS games i finished, also it took me way too long how to inject GBA and other games into 3DS

kurapika folder (bottom left folder) contains videos and movies! i figured out how to convert them but it's so hard to find download links to the movies i like now :(

also did you know the first 3 volumes of hunter x hunter are on the japanese eshop? i can't read japanese but i keep them because i like the novelty of it

leorio folder (bottom right folder) is my homebrew and miscellaneous stuffs! self-explanatory -w-

if you have any homebrew stuffs you wanna recommend, tell meee

eek, asks only allows 10 pictures apparently so i'm gonna send another one because we're not done yet!!!!

Happiness is so awesome the crows wants an encore so i shall deliver ohoo

activity log :D i love that the 3DS has this so we can all look back on memories and such

and that's the day when i first got Happiness!!!! i was pretty late to the 3DS party but i stiiiillll love it if you couldn't tell i really love pokemon and that's why i wanted a 3DS so bad lol i don't think i will ever be as excited as i was holding Happiness in my hands for the first time qwq

yknow, i still don't know how this happened

and that's all from meee if you have any questions or wanna tell me something, go to my ask box because i don't wanna clog up three-dee-ess's notifs!! thank you for having me

----

galaxy style n3DSXL

thank you so much for the tour >:3c I loved reading through all of it! In depth tours like this are super interesting to me so thank you for sharing!! it makes me really happy.

I'll need to find my red 3DS again so I can share my own stats, since my grey one I use to mostly play puzzle game titles like picross, not any like, RPGs.

[soupbabe]

Live Action One Piece Characters Seeing Transmasc! Reader's Packer Falling Out

Featuring: Luffy, Nami, Buggy, Usopp

These are mostly just joke headcanons, but I've been thinking about it nonetheless. Trying to do a different format for scenarios like this, any feedback would be appreciated!

Warning: this is so stupid + it gets weird and suggestive in Buggy's section

The day you wanted to wear shorts was the day Luffy wanted to play tag around the Going Merry. Usually you'd politely decline, as when your captain wants to run around the ship, it gets intense. People get tripped over, belongings break, and dents get put into the walls. But this time Luffy stared directly at you with his big, brown, puppy dog eyes as he asked once more. "Please Y/n? I even got Nami to play, it won't be fun without you!"

His smile grew ever so mischievous as you caved in and agreed to his little game...

Monkey D. Luffy

- When he caught you, he practically tackled you to the ground (arms stretched around your body and head, as to soften the blow)

- And to your embarrassment, your homemade packer slipped out of your boxers and fell out of your pant leg

- While not the most detailed packer to exist, you certainly didn't think it was vague enough for Luffy to get up and fetch it for you

- "Hey, Y/n! I think you dropped something, what is it?" "Oh my god Luffy put that down right now. Wash your hands too."

- You wish you hit your head hard enough to cause short term memory loss

- Once you tell him, his eyes go wide and his mouth makes a small "o" shape as he tosses your packer back to you

- Luffy isn't as embarrassed as you could've been, but you both agree to never bring it up again

Nami

- Nami is one to also get competitive and play dirty, she uses her stealth to sneak up behind you and give you a good scare (and to make sure you're "it" now)

- What she didn't expect was to see her friend get react so clumsily that he stumbled and his dick and balls fall out

- She definitely noticed before you did, her eyes can't help but look at the silicone packer

- "Nami! You can't just scare a guy like that!" "...you dropped something."

- Her cheeks are a tinge of pink and your face is on fire as you hastily shove your packer into a pocket

- Though after the initial shock, she was able to laugh and tease you about the accident

- You gave her 100 beri to never talk about it ever again

Buggy the Clown

- Okay in this scenario, I do like to think about him just being a head and watching the game unfold

- Once he sees your packer fall out, he's losing it, everyone on the ship can hear him laughing and giving away your location

- "Oh- Oh my God this is too good! Even I haven't had this happen to me! What a fucking-" oh look at that. Said packer is in his mouth to shut him up.

- Wasn't the most ideal thing to shut him up with, but he got on your nerves and you needed a quick solution

- Buggy however is left red in the face: both out of anger and the fact that he has a dick in his mouth

- Not the way he wanted this to happen

- Once he's free from his makeshift gag, he's still going to be an ass and tease you about what he saw

- Though a deal has been struck so he wouldn't tell the others what would happen, unless he wants to be shut up again

Usopp

- He screams

- Usopp thought he hurt you when you two ran into each other, and seeing your...thing on the ground with you made him freak out

- Poor man thought he accidentally castrated you or something, maybe you too had the chop chop fruit?

- Either way you had to grab him by the shoulders and help him calm down before the crew thought he actually got hurt

- Honestly with Usopp, he makes it more awkward and weird than it needed to be

- He's understanding of what it is and how you don't always secure it properly, but man he's gonna have this memory burned into his mind

- He can't help but make awkward eye contact, his face burning every time he looks over at you

[shanesbluechicken]

Oooh how about Shane with a Vampire SO?

The farmer is a vampire (Shane)

I LOVE VAMPIRES OMG THIS WAS SM FUN

Someone teach me how to write short hesdcanons, because they always turn out to be wayyy too long :'D

TW: heavy language, mentions of alcohol, mentions of blood

Gender: neutral

Shane's been making vampire jokes since day one without even know you're actually one. Everytime he makes them you're practically getting a heart attack since you don't really want the town members to know. The possibility of being chased down by torches was not on your agenda.

But come on! There is no easy way to make it not obvious.

You won the egg hunt just to get that straw hat, because it shields your face completely.

Not to mention that even on cloudy days you seem to try to protect your skin. Some residents asked if you're maybe allergic to the sunlight and you just went with that. Marnie that sweet woman took the liberty upon herself and offered to ask Harvey for help, but you quickly shut that idea down saying that because of your past you don't want to make a big deal out of it.

Shane though. Oof.

"What are you? A fucking vampire?"

You freeze, unsure on what to answer, but soon enough you notice that he's just meaning it as a joke or a way to provoke you.

As you two become friends, he one day decides to bring some pizza over. You've been isolating yourself the last couple of days and he is a bit worried. Knowing you you're probably fully invested in work and your farm.

But when he arrives no one is outside on the fields and your front door is slightly open. He hears glass breaking inside so naturally he rushes in like a whole SWAT team with nothing but a frozen pizza as a weapon. He is fully intending on blinding potential enemies with the salami pieces.

"Shane?"

"What the FUCK is going on? Are you hurt?"

What he thought might be an intruder was actually just you being clumsy, but he does notice how you're holding your arm with a painful look on your face. Good luck getting him off your back now.

Your sleeve got ripped apart while building a fence and the light burned your skin, but you tell Shane that it's from starting the fire place. Everything indicates that you haven't even touched the fire place and it's a hot day anyways. You got him suspicious here, but he doesn't say anything. There must be a reason why you'd lie and he'd be damned if he doesn't find out.

Usually he couldn't care less even if someone comes up with such a bad lie. He doesn't have the energy to play detective, but with you it's different. You're one of the very few people who showed him kindness no matter how shitty he behaved and if you're having issues then he wants to help you out.

The next week he sees you stumbling through town and barely holding onto the wall of the bridge. At some point it seems like you're about to fall into the river any second and he runs over to hold you up. The fact that he's running late to his shift is long forgotten.

"I'm bringing you home."

"No, Shane, I promise I'm fine. I just feel a bit light headed."

"Bullshit."

He's way stronger than he looks and while he's carrying you back you to Harvey's clinic he realizes how dead you look. More dead than usually of course.

The closer he gets you to the clinic though the more you try to get out of his grip.

"Stop it, you need a fucking doctor."

"No, please."

Shane stops dead in his tracks upon hearing how desperate you sound. He's never heard you beg like this and his stomach is practically turning upside down from all the concern.

"Carry me home and I will explain everything to you. I'm done with lying and hiding."

You're hallucinating. That must be it. But something about your tone and your pleading eyes that he barely makes out behind those dark sun glasses make him obey to your wish.

As he lays you down into your bed he gets you a glass of cold water, but you almost smack it out of his hands, pointing towards the fridge. Confused, he looks inside, but can't see anything besides the usual vegetables and some left overs. Then, behind all these items, he spots something dark. Something red.

In the next moment you're next to him, grabbing that red liquid and ripping the package open like he usually does with booze when he's going through a particularly nasty time.

"This better be strawberry juice."

Deep down he knows it's not and he isn't sure what he feels watching you chug that entire bag in one go. With anyone else he'd most likely be disgusted or mortified, but the feelings he has for you, ones that he can't quite describe yet, are way too deep to feel anything negative towards you. His mind is still occupied with images of you nearly falling off the bridge and not being able to stand on your own two feet.

But you sure got some explaining to do and you promised to tell him everything after all. There's no way to get yourself out of this mess. You're scared of Shane's reaction. You don't want to ruin whatever you guys have going on, but what you don't know is how deep that bond between you goes. You have no idea that Shane reached a point where he would go through fire for you, but in your defense he's not the type to really show that.

He takes the information pretty well and with humor too. Internally he's screaming a bit though, because OMG HE WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG?!

"Are you telling me that...this is the skin of a killer?"

"Shane, stop."

"How long have you been 17?"

"I'm not 17 and stop with the Twilight references."

"Can you read my mind?"

"THIS IS SERIOUS-"

"So you have visions?"

You're not even sure if you wanna question his oddly deep knowledge of those movies.

You explain to him that most vampires nowadays live off of blood donations and the people donating know where it goes to. The issue with you now is that it's difficult getting these donations since Pelican Town is quite isolated from the cities and you can't ask Harvey to receive them for you, because he doesn't know that vampires even exist.

You've been holding back with your drinking, but it's affecting your health badly which is the reason why you almost fucking died there at the bridge.

Without a second thought Shane offers you to give you his blood, BUT there is a problem with that as well. Considering the amount of alcohol in his system his blood would make you even sicker than no blood at all.

Now he has the right motivation to stop drinking! And it works!

You drink it directly from his wrist though, because you don't really have the right equipment for taking it differently.

Shane has to hide the bite marks otherwise Marnie thinks he's gotten into something worse than booze.

He's a ride or die, okay. He backs up every made up story of yours to not make anyone in town suspicious.

You have to expect lots of teasing from his side as well and I'm not only talking about twilight references.

"What happens if I throw garlic at you?"

"Fuck around and find out, bitch. I suggest that you don't even start fucking around."

You could serve him some vegetable he doesn't like and he would yell "THE POWER OF YOBA COMPELLS YOU"

Absolutely adores your fangs. Sometimes they're super fucking adorable when you shoot him a bright smile and other times he finds them so hot that his knees turn into pudding.

Don't get me started on the fact that you can crush rocks with your bare hands.

Doesn't know if he should be very scared or very in love.

Masterlist

[thegeminisage]

it is time for. NOT a tng update. but a ds9 update!!! wednesday* we watched "emissary" and actually i'm not clear on if we watched both parts or just one since my website is wonky but either way whatever we watched FUCKING RULED. i'm dispensing w the normal bullet points so i can ramble as much as i want

*it was last night actually but it took me all day to type this up so i'm scheduling it to go up later. it got looooong lol

the first most striking thing i noticed about ds9, or at least the first half of what we watched, is that it FEELS like a video game. someone tell me if this is insane. you're playing as sisko. you get flashbacks of his backstory, you get thrown into this starbase that's in shambles and it's Your Job to fix it up. you go around meeting all the secondary characters who will be in charge of this or that gameplay aspect or upgrade system or shop: kira, o'brien, quark, odo, jadzia, julian, etc. the FOLEY in this was insane. all the noise in the back CONSTANTLY suggested a lively and whole universe outside of our direct line of focus - it felt so alive in the way not even the enterprise in tos did. i could picture myself in the opening gameplay/cutscene like slowly walking my character through what will become a hub area that i gradually upgrade over time while kira or o'brien narrates the list of problems. you're starting at the bottom rung and expected to fail, but you can FEEL the potential even in just one brief walk through the promenade. IS THIS INSANE? it feels like an insane thing to say. someone PLEASE write in if you have ever had similar feelings. if they haven't made a ds9 game yet, they should.

i also notice that not only is the quality of the ds9 episodes worse than that of tng and tos - no one has remastered them into 1080p, apparently - but the lighting is very different, as well. it felt WEIRD to see picard and the enterprise D shot this way. but it also lends, perhaps unintentionally, perhaps not, a really gritty atmosphere to what is normally a very clean universe. i guess since we mostly see it from the inside of starships, it would feel like a sterile place to us, but you know how everyone always compliments star wars on how lived-in it feels? the buttons are wearing, sand is stuck in their fancy thingamajigs, etc? this was how ds9 felt to me.

okay. the characters. let's fucking get into it. what's so fun about ds9 in general is that in all other trek shows i have picked out my specialest little guy in 5 seconds flat. tos was spock EASILY. tng i knew it was data before i started. i already know seven's gonna be my favorite voyager character, but i have NO IDEA!!! who my precious little baby in ds9 will be. what a fun surprise for everyone involved. if anybody wants to place bets go ahead.

like, i thought tng had a pretty solid lineup (hence my eternal frustration with its wasted potential) but they're not anywhere as eclectic as ds9's core cast. iirc, sisko and o'brien are the ONLY humans who for once are outnumbered by trek's cool aliens. i'm saving sisko for last because that was the part of ds9 that touched me most profoundly, but for o'brien - it was a little sad to see him leave the enterprise, because picard was right, it WON'T feel the same without him, but i'm really excited to see why everybody says he suffers more than jesus and to find out if the eyepatch is a permanent thing or if it's just mirrorverse fuckery. either way, i win. like, o'brien is cool, and i always miss him when i don't see him in tng, and i'll continue to miss him in tng from here on out, but he could never shine in that show. it's too stiff and too reluctant to put its characters through any real development. it's a shame they can't ALL move to ds9, tbh.

the next person we met was kira, who was WONDERFUL. it took me a minute to warm up to her, not because there was anything wrong with her, but because i figured at first glance she was ds9's version of ro laren, the obligatory bajoran cast member to connect us with the bajoran/cardassian plot - which would of course be good because ro is awesome, but it's not necessarily anything new and i already love ro. BUT I WAS WRONG! kira's personality is very distinct from ro's; really the only thing they have in common is not liking cardassians which lmao Yeah. my favorite thing about kira is that she smiles when she's upset or angry. that's Such an acting choic, to have her grinning at the cardassians when she's almost certain they're about to blow her whole space station to smithereens. all love light and respect to ro laren my beloved, but i think i actually like kira BETTER.

odo: WHAT is that thing he can do oh my god...is this a changeling?? i got that result in a star trek quiz once. i really loved when he snuck aboard the enemy ship posing as a bag to hold gambling winnings. i was like oh they showed us the bag to show us it will get stolen soon BUT NO it was odo!!!!!!! such a fun surprise. the exposition on his backstory was a little slapdash but i enjoyed it all the same, i cannot wait to learn more

i was most nervous to meet quark because i hate hate HATE the ferengi in tng, but he was actually so entertaining! like, you're never gonna be able to entirely remove the antisemetic undertones from the ferengi as a whole, but he was smart, practical, and endearingly longsuffering. i love his wryness and deadpan humor. i have a feeling he is gonna be so much fun to torture lovingly.

meeting julian bashir felt like meeting a famous person. for the longest time all i knew about ds9 was that cardassian guy wanted to FUCK that gay little doctor, so it was a little hilarious that in his first scene he was asking a woman* out on a date. sir do you not know you're gay?? even funnier was the fact that out of everybody in the pilot he had the least lines. we barely know him, but we finally met him. relatedly, i can't to wait to meet more cardassians, especially The cardassian. so far, they're still all gay.

*jadzia!!! gnc/trans queen! the trill stuff is SO interesting and watching that worm slither in and out of people during those flashbacks was so wonderful but also made me wince. i love that she used to be an old man and the jokes about it are actually really funny without feeling transphobic or anything SO FAR. who knows if that changes. i feel like we haven't gotten much yet from her either but i cannot wait.

SISKO. damn. where do i even...first of all, he should be allowed to bite kick kill picard. i say this as someone who experienced a genuine THRILL of pleasure upon seeing picard's borged self again. i loved that whole thing, i'm obsessed with the borg. that it comes back in this small way in ds9, and has such a HUGE impact on the storyline, was so so so fucking good. i always say tng tells and not shows, but even after just knowing sisko for a few moments i felt keenly how much it devastated to find his wife like that and THAT WAS JUST FROM THE FIRST SCENE. and it only gets better! he's a great dad. he's FUNNY. he is not above manual labor. he wants to tear picard limb from limb. and he exists HERE.

the wormhole alien sequence was. so good. it was SO GOOD. explaining linear time to aliens. the aliens using his memories to talk to him. HE EXISTS HERE. back and back and BACK to finding his wife in the rubble because HE EXISTS HERE. he CHOOSES to exist here. he existed there when he applied for a transfer to earth. he existed there when he confronted picard. he never left the ship because HE NEVER LEFT THE SHIP. they dragged him out but they COULDN'T DRAG HIM OUT. he exists here because he won't leave her to exist here alone because damn it we can't just leave her here. that was the most insane series of events i ever watched. like, because at first you DO think it's the aliens taking him back there BUT IT'S HIM. HE IS DOING IT TO HIMSELF. when the penny dropped i got literal chill bumps and when the aliens said "it's not linear" and he, openly weeping, replied "it's NOT linear," i genuinely, truly, shed a tear along with him. TNG COULD NEVER. none of those miserable fucks EVER cry!!! sisko did it in the god damn pilot!!!!!!!

and like, the fact that he can choose to stay at the space station at the end, to shake picard's hand, to exist SOMEWHERE ELSE. AAAAAUGHGHGHG

i really loved the final confrontation, too. kira is so so so so good, again, i LOVE that she smiles when she's angry, when she's sad, and it's not a fake smile, it's genuine and honest emotion, and she's genuinely and honestly going to start eating the cardassians for sport if they don't leave her alone. it was very scrappy, them pretending to be bigger and badder than they actually were because they had no other choice. you get the feeling everybody on the station and indeed the station itself is barely holding together, and what little togetherness is present comes from sheer spite.

anyway, absolutely 10/10. i was so worried ds9 wouldn't be good but it not only met my most furtive hopes it surpassed them with flying colors. it's gonna be REAL hard to go back to tng after this.

[roguemage64]

I had such a fun time with this incorrect quote generator! Hope y’all enjoy what it came up with 😄

Incorrect She-ra Quotes

Catra: This is bothering me.

Adora: Well, you are digging up a corpse.

Catra: No, not that. That's, uh, pretty par for the course, actually.

Catra: So what’s for dinner?

Adora, staring at the food she just burnt: Regret.

Catra: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY]

Adora: What's that?

Catra: Remorse code.

Adora: I'm even angrier now.

Catra: *Kicks the door down looking panicked*

Adora: What did you do?

Catra: Nobody died.

Adora: WHAT KIND OF ANSWER IS THAT?!

Catra: *holding a bottle* Is this whiskey or perfume?

Adora: *chugs entire bottle*

Adora: It’s perfume.

Catra, tending to Adora's wounds: How would you rate your pain?

Adora: Zero stars. Would NOT recommend.

Adora: Violence isn't the answer.

Catra: You’re right.

Adora: *sighs in relief*

Catra: Violence is the question.

Adora: What?

Catra, bolting away: And the answer is yes.

Adora, running after her: NO-

Adora: Jail is no fun. I’ll tell you that much.

Catra: Oh, you’ve been?

Adora : Once. In Monopoly.

Catra, watching the news: Some idiot tried to fight a squid at the aquarium today!

Adora: *walks in covered with ink* Well, maybe the squid was being a jerk.

Catra: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is the most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Adora's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. I can’t get her out...

The rest of the Princess Alliance:

Catra: I’m gonna need a human skull and I can't have you ask any questions why.

Adora: Only if you also don't ask why

Adora: *Pulls out 7 pristine human skulls* Take your pick.

Catra:

Adora:

Catra: This one is fine.

Catra: How did none of you hear what I just said?

Bow: I’ve been zoned out for the past two and a half hours.

Adora: I got distracted about halfway through.

Glimmer: Ignoring you was a conscious decision.

Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle.

Catra: Great.

Adora: Wait, three?

Cop: Yeah?

Glimmer: OH MY GOSH BOW FELL OFF!!!

Glimmer: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Adora: I don’t know how to do that.

Bow: I don’t wear a watch.

Catra: Time is a construct.

Bow: You know those things will kill you, right?

Glimmer, pouring another glass of whiskey: That’s the point.

Catra, smoking a cigarette: We’re trying to speed up the process.

Adora: *Nods while eating raw cookie dough*

Adora: I’m an idiot.

Catra:

Glimmer:

Bow:

Adora:

Catra: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.

Scorpia: What does 'take out' mean?

Adora: Food.

Bow: Dating

Glimmer: Murder

Catra: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

Scorpia: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the items you have lost throughout your life

Adora: Self-esteem, haven't seen you in years!

Glimmer: Oh wow, my childhood innocence! Thank you for finding this!

Bow: I knew I lost that potential somewhere!

Catra: My moral code, is that you?

Scorpia:

Scorpia: I was just gonna show you this cool trunk my mothers left me but do you guys need a hug?

Adora: You're a loose cannon, Catra.

Catra: No, I'm not. I'm a cannon maybe, but a loose cannon? Is that what you think of me?

Bow: I think you play by your own rules.

Glimmer: No way, she think rules were made to be broken.

Adora: Those are all attributes of a loose cannon.

Catra: No, I'm just a reckless renegade. Scorpia is a loose cannon.

Scorpia: *accidentally smashes a chair*

Adora: Nothing in life is free.

Perfuma: Love is free!

Sea Hawk: Adventure is free!

Bow: Knowledge is free.

Catra: Everything is free if you take it without paying.

Catra: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.

Adora: This knife is actually a magic wand.

Glimmer: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.

Catra: *cocks gun* Magic missile.

Bow: What is wrong with you people.

Catra: Anyone d-

Adora: Depressed?

Bow: Drained?

Glimmer: Dumb?

Scorpia: Disliked?

Catra: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people ...

Catra: We’ve been conducting an ongoing study to see what Adora will and will not eat.

Glimmer: Grass? Yes!

Catra: Moss? Yes!!

Glimmer: Leaves? Ohh, yes!

Catra: Shoelaces? Strange but true!

Glimmer: Worms? Sometimes!

Catra: Rocks? Usually nah.

Glimmer: Twigs? Usually!

Catra: Scorpia’s cooking? Inconclusive!

Perfuma: How did you… test this?

Catra: You just hand her stuff and say ‘eat this’ and if she eats it, she eats it.

Perfuma: ... I don’t know how to feel about this.

Bow: IS THAT WHERE ALL MY SPARE SHOELACES WENT?

Adora: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.

Catra: I witnessed the dumb stuff.

Bow: I recorded the dumb stuff.

Glimmer: I joined in on the dumb stuff.

Perfuma: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!!!

Perfuma: There are seven chairs and ten kids. What do you do?

Adora: Have everyone stand.

Bow: Bring three more chairs!

Glimmer: The most important ones can sit down.

Catra: Kill three.

Glimmer: Good morning.

Adora: Good morning.

Bow: Good morning.

Scoria: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.

Catra: MORNING SCUMBAGS

Adora: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?

Glimmer: Several traffic violations.

Catra: Three counts of resisting arrest.

Scorpia: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.

Bow: Also, that’s not our car.

Catra: So uhhh... my question is: my friend keeps on going into the pantry and grabbing handfuls of fettuccine... uncooked...

Glimmer: I would hope they're not grabbing handfuls of cooked fettuccine!

Scorpia: In your pantry!

Catra: Yeah... and eating them raw, and they keep calling them 'chips'. ... How do I make them stop?

Glimmer: Is your friend here?

Catra, motioning to Adora: Yeah.

Glimmer, to Adora: You're a monster! Words MEAN things!

Bow: Does anybody remember- I haven't been to Olive Garden in many moons- but they DO have a like- fettuccine bottle that you can just- grab em out of and chew-

Bow: HOLD ON. WAS THIS A PRANK YOU GUYS PULLED ON ME WHEN WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN AS KIDS?!

Bow: NO, STOP. EVERYBODY SHUT UP. DO THEY GIVE YOU RAW FETTUCCINE TO CHEW ON IN THE LOBBY OF THE OLIVE GARDEN

Everyone else: No.

Bow, to Glimmer and Catra: YOU MONSTERS

Glimmer: YAAAAAAAAY!

Catra: THE PRESTIGE

Catra: Bye Adora! Bye Bow! Bye Glimmer! Bye Scorpia! Bye Adora!

Bow: You said ‘bye Adora’ twice.

Catra: I like Adora.

Scorpia: What did you guys get in your yearbook?

Glimmer: 'Prettiest Smile'

Bow: 'Nicest Personality'

Catra: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'

Adora: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'

Bow: You kidnapped Adora? That’s illegal!

Catra: But Bow, what’s more illegal? Briefly inconveniencing Adora, or destroying our dreams?

Bow: Kidnapping Adora, Catra!!!

Glimmer: Bow, listen, whatever I may think of you right now- these guys are counting on you to inspire them!

Bow: What, to kidnap people?!?!

Glimmer: To work together!

Bow: TO KIDNAP PEOPLE?!?!

Glimmer: Bow, we all agreed celebrities were an exception.

*The squad is over at Catra's house*

Adora: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?

Catra: ... N-No...

Catra, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???

Adora, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!

Bow: I see a-

Catra, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.

Adora: Oh, well I-

Catra: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*

Catra, amazed: Its got a bake setting!

Glimmer: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!

Scorpia: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?

Catra: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!

Catra: I am someone who owns four ovens...

Catra, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...

Catra: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...

Perfuma, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!

Catra:

Adora: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!

Catra:

Catra, ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS

Catra: Well, aren’t you all a rag-tag group of adventurers with unclear goals and good hearts! Oh, let me guess: you’re out to save the world!

Adora: Well, actually, that sounds like a pretty fair assessment.

Bow: More or less, I guess...

Glimmer: That sounds awesome! Let’s do that!

Scorpia: I’m new here, but I am open to the concept.

Perfuma: I thought that’s what we were doing, guys, come on!

Bow: Just be yourself.

Catra: 'Be myself'? Bow, I have one day to win Adora over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Perfuma: Couple weeks.

Mermista: Six months.

Glimmer: Jury’s still out.

Catra: See, Bow?

Catra: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Catra: Everytime I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Adora: Okay, but what is updog?

Bow: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Glimmer: Not, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Scorpia: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Perfuma: Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Catra: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Glimmer: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Bow: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Adora: What’s a henway??

Catra: Oh, about five pounds.

*Everyone is standing around the broken coffee maker*

Catra: So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Everyone:

Adora: ...I did. I broke it.

Catra: No. No you didn't. Bow?

Bow: Don't look at me. Look at Glimmer.

Glimmer: What?! I didn't break it.

Bow: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Glimmer: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Bow: Suspicious.

Glimmer: No, it's not!

Scorpia: If it matters, probably not, but Perfuma was the last one to use it.

Perfuma: Lies! I don't even drink that trash.

Scorpia: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Perfuma: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Scorpia!

Adora: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Catra.

Catra: No! Who broke it!?

Everyone:

Scorpia: Catra... Bow's been awfully quiet.

Bow: rEALLY?!

*Everyone starts arguing*

Catra, being interviewed: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it.

Catra: I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

Catra:

Catra: Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.

*The squad right before Adora (and Catra)'s wedding*

Catra: Well I have to go, I have a wedding to attend.

Bow: Wait... Oh! I have a wedding to attend too!

Glimmer: Oh, I have a wedding to attend as well

Scorpia: I THINK WE ALL HAVE WEDDINGS TO ATTEND

Perfuma, panicked: I THINK I HAVE A WEDDING TO OFFICIATE

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Perfuma: Thanks fam!

Mermista: oh no

Scorpia: *cries* I love you too

Glimmer: Sounds fake but okay

Adora: *A flustered mess*

Catra: can i get a refund

Adora: We need to distract these guys

Catra: Leave it to me

Catra: Centaurs have six limbs and are therefore insects. Discuss.

Bow, Glimmer, and Mermista: *Immediately begin arguing*

Perfuma, watching in horror: Oh this. I don’t like this. I don't like this at all.

Catra: Rules are made to be broken.

Adora: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.

Bow: Uh, piñatas.

Scorpia: Glow sticks.

Glimmer: Karate boards.

Perfuma: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.

Catra: Rules.

Adora:

Catra: Time for plan G.

Adora: Don’t you mean plan B?

Catra: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Bow: What about plan D?

Catra: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Glimmer: What about plan E?

Catra: I’m hoping not to use it. I die in plan E.

Glimmer: I like plan E.

Adora: So are we flirting right now?

Catra: I AM LITERALLY STABBING YOU

Adora: That doesn’t answer my question

Adora: Catra, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Catra: Well of course I have.

Catra: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Catra: It's boring.

Catra: Can you keep a secret?

Adora: Do you know anything about my life?

Catra: Yes I do. Good point.

Catra: You know, I'm starting to regret showing you how that blender works.

Adora, drinking toast: Why do you say that?

Catra: Don’t worry, I know exactly what I’m doing. Everything is going to be fine!

Adora: How can you still say that?

Catra: Because sometimes, when things get tough, denial is all we have.

Catra: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Adora: I think you mean cards.

Catra, pulling knives out of her sleeves: No, I do not.

Adora: How do I deal with my enemies?

Catra: Kill them

Adora: That's a bit extreme, I was hoping for a more passive solution

Catra: Kill them only a little?

Catra: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Adora: You and me!!!

Catra, tearing up: Okay.

Catra: I’m going to take you out

Adora: great, it’s a date!

Catra: I meant that as a threat.

Adora: See you at five!

Adora: This is such a bad idea.

Catra: Then why are you coming along?

Adora: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Catra: Am I in trouble?

Adora: Take a guess.

Catra: No?

Adora: Take another guess.

Catra: You kill people for money?!

Adora: I can explain!

Catra: And all this time I’ve been doing it for free like a chump!

Adora: I was arrested for being too cool.

Catra: The charges were dropped due to a lack of supporting evidence.

These quotes are generated from https://incorrectquotesgenerator.com

[asherlockstudy]

I had some thoughts about the things you discussed in your amazing, as always, analysis of the first Wonderhole episode. Firstly about the interpretation of "We like closing one eye, because it immerses us in something that's not really happening". I think it refers to both of the things you've said, i.e., when we close one eye we see something different from when both eyes are open, and it might refer to the entirety of the episode, or even their whole intention with the Wonderhole series. So if you look at it with both eyes open and take it at face value, it's a creative surrealist comedy skit with clever, unexpected and often profound plot twists, but if you close one eye and immerse yourself to the experience, it's something else as well. And that something else I think it's your One Story hypothesis, their other life with each other that we don't really see, except in these moments.

A second thought was about the part of the video where they discovered the peanut butter, and they are dancing on beach, oblivious to the passing plane, and missing their chance of a rescue. This scene happens to the beat of "sharing peanut butter because we are peanut butter lovers", and at first it seems like the comical tragedy of two simpletons being so excited about a jar of peanut butter that they missed their ticket out of there. But then if you see it under the lens of the island segment being their post coming out lives, it could mean that once they discovered the peanut butter (as in, how to be intimate with each other), they are so happy that they don't really care about any chances of returning to their previous lives, or even being 'uncancelled' (if that's indeed what caused the isolation after the coming out). And if that was their intention with that scene, I think it was really cute and speaks volumes about their steadfast devotion to each other.

The final thought was about the sex bush. I think part of it was that they like playing with the audiences' expectations (or apprehensions, depending on the viewer) about their personal relationship. The lyric "lovers as in we are loving peanut butter, not that we are making love with one another" gave me a flashback to their song in the 'We spent a day in 1984' video that went "I won't tell you I love 'cause that might make it weird", because both lyrics have that disclaimer element, like an insurance policy or plausible deniability, so that if a viewer sees it one way, great, but if another viewer sees it a different way, great again, they are both right and valid. Schrodinger's gays :D Another part of it goes to some darker places. And fair warning that it might not be a pleasant read, so stop here, if you like.

It has to do with an inkling I have about them actually being still extremely repressed, and all this is just a way for them to express what they want from each other, without actually having to go all the way there (with all the problems that would follow as well about identity crisis, infidelity, home wrecking, public cancelling, and so on). They grew up repressed about sexuality and intimacy. There was a lot of shame and built up about it, as well as a ritualistic aspect (like their dorm schedule). The way they talk about sex to this day sounds sometimes juvenile, like how teenagers talk about it. I can easily imagine the concept of being gay, let alone gay sex, being difficult for them to come to grips with. And sometimes they give me the impression of people who come up with weird rituals around the thing they are tiptoeing, so that they can justify it to themselves. What if they haven't gone there, like we think, and they are making content that allows them to go there, like in a simulation. They can experiment before the real deal. Because a sex bush, like you said, is indeed like a circle jerk thing, which in turn, is a way of being intimate with someone without actually being intimate. It would be very much like them to try an find a loop-hole so that they could both have their cake and eat it, i.e. being faithful straight family men, but tasting the forbidden fruit, so to speak, as well. I said it was dark, and I wouldn't bet on this scenario if I had to guess what's really going on, but sometimes the things they say or do, make me think there might still be some disfunctional thinking about male physical intimacy.

Anyway, sorry about the massive ask, and if you made it to the end thanks again for your wonderful analysis! :)

First of all, thank you so much for your beautiful words! I am glad you enjoyed the first Wonderhole analysis :)))

RE: The eye immersion

There are truly so many different ways to interpret this comment but whichever is the case, the conclusion is the same: the perception of one image is different when you observe it with one versus both eyes open. I have to say, I found it very funny that in the end they gently imply they want to cut out our cataracts though (clear our blurred vision) XD

RE: The plane passing by

grfuehfiehargh I wanted to write this but I wrote so much I forgot about it! It's exactly that, at this point they are so invested to this new state of life with each other, they do not care to go back to their previous lives or back to "safety".

RE: Sex bush and the lyric

That's an interesting take, totally compatible with the One Story. The lyric is indeed a flashback to the 1984 video and instead of it being something we need to interpret in a certain way, maybe it is just a commentary on their insurance policy / plausible deniability, like you said and like it was the case with the 1984 video. I think this really works.

RE: The dark thought

I don't shy away from unpleasant thoughts and I agree a lot with your theory. They do still look and act repressed and in my opinion they still look like they are coming to terms with queer people, what it means to be gay, no matter how cool they act, how many queer employees they have and how many Pride t-shirts they sell. I consider this human, childhood and puberty teachings are the hardest to get rid of and you almost never get 100% rid of them. A tiny voice will always remain in the back of your mind. It's how the human brain works. It is evident in how much Rhett still tries to find answers in religion, it seems like he tries to find ways to reconcile his old beliefs with who he is, despite in the meantime professing himself as "definitely not a Christian". I dare say he spends too much time examining new, alternative doctrine interpetations compared to the average atheist / irreligious person. And I think this is totally okay by the way. He has every right to try to find the answers he seeks for. But like I said in the meantime they are not entirely mentally free. Look how much the concept of hell creeps in their conversations, even as a joke. There is a box inside their mind where they have squeezed all their guilt and the concern and the inhibitions and that box bursts from time to time, if not frequently. However, I don't think this means they haven't acted on anything yet because of these negative emotions. Both in the scripted content and in certain interactions it is evident that this is a point of state long gone. Whatever physical intimacy they were meant to reach, it has already happened. This somehow makes me the heretic of Rhinkdom but by using the same reasoning I used for example in the Wonderhole analysis to draw conclusions, I land on the same conclusion again and again. Whatever was to happen has happened long ago. This does not mean the repression and the fear cannot be explained - in fact this is how they are explained even better, because when things are done and cannot be undone, this is how they double down on the guilt and the fear of disastrous repercussions and the constant anxiety of "but what if we are wrong"?

Besides, it is also not realistic. We see parallels and metaphors for the first chaotic intercourse in the Puzzle, shot in mid to late 2015. And Rhett is the guy you can absolutely not rile up in 2014-2015 and expect that by 2024 he is still "examining" the idea and channeling it through his art, with the flag at hand for 10 years now. It's just not how the vast majority of men, heck, humans function, let alone Rhett who has established himself as a very sexual person and it is indeed the case. Like imagine all those deep, private conversations about their feelings and their repressed guilty desires that are apparently happening ever since they left the faith. Are we to believe that Rhett could have ever managed to make it through them unscathed? Even Link would not be able to do this!