#ted lasso season 3 review

[agentnico]

Ted Lasso - Season 3 (2023) Review

Plot: In the 12-episode third season of Ted Lasso, the newly-promoted AFC Richmond faces ridicule as media predictions widely peg them as last in the Premier League and Nate, now hailed as the 'wonder kid,' has gone to work for Rupert at West Ham United.

Ted Lasso is such a unique show that no one expected to become as popular as it did. Heck, I’m sure Apple is trying every persuasive skill possible to motivate Jason Sudeikis to make more of it even though he’s been adamant that his show would only have a 3 season story-arc. The success of Ted Lasso shouldn’t come as a surprise though - it’s a show that is so refreshing in an otherwise outside world of hate. It’s hard not to look forward every week to a new episode filled with nuanced highs and lows. There is also an unrelentless charge of optimism, especially from the titular Ted, who only wants to see the good in everyone and is adamant in bringing out that good even in the worst of people. There can be an argument made that the first season of Ted Lasso is its best, as it’s simply dripping with that overwhelming feeling of positivity, with every moment feeling like you’re wrapped in a warm blanket surrounded by love and appreciation. The second and now third season go into more darker territories, however I personally think that the show doesn’t lose its charm in the process, as the message is still there that believing in Ted Lasso’s way will in the long run result in success and redemption for all. It’s literally the perfect feel-good show, and it’s a shame that this third season may be its last, but also as evident from the finale the ending is one that makes sense narratively, even though certain characters are left open to continue in their own spin-offs. I’m certain Apple is already writing up checks to make those spin-offs a reality.

So, season 3 of Ted Lasso - does it hold up to the rest of the show? Short answer is yes. And for the most part this final season lacks that sense of finality (minus the last two episodes), with a lot of the episodes simply continuing their focus on developing all the characters in the series. It was evident from the second season with Ted himself taking a backseat, allowing the other side characters to have their moment in the spotlight. The third season puts its focus on the likes of Billy Harris’ Colin Hughes struggling with his identity; James Lance’s Trent Crimm (no longer The Independent) joining Richmond to write a book about their journey in the Premier League; Juno Temple’s Keeley having her own business and her struggles along the way; and of course Nick Mohammed’s Nate ‘the Wonder Kid’ traitorous decision to join Anthony Head’s Rupert in West Ham as their coach, and the ramifications of that decision. Heck, even Charlie Hiscock’s Will the kitman gets more moments to shine, and he’s only the kitman. Yet as the legendary Zava says to Will “I too worked as a ball-boy once for a club when I was just 11 years old. Your passion is why I play.” That reminds me - we have to talk about Zava!!

Let’s talk about Zava! So prior to this season the main narcissist of the Richmond team was the self-obsessed goal scorer Jamie Tartt (played by Phil Dunster). However through the show his character evolved and now has become a proper team-player that puts others before himself, however that means Richmond needed another self-absorbed player to fill that empty void. In cometh the one and only man, the myth, the legend John Wick.....errr...I mean, Zava (played by Maximilian Osinski)! Yes, that is his name. Known mononymously as Zava, this fictional football legend brings arrogance and swagger to the team. Upon his transfer and entrance to Richmond’s locker room, other team players are stuck starstruck as he carves out his own meditative space and shrine to himself in one corner of the room. Evidently the character of Zava is inspired by the Swedish striker Zlatan Ibrahimovic, who is one of the most successful footballers of all time and his renowned for his inspirational quotes and attitude. Zava even shares the same hair-style with Zlatan with the pulled back slick man bun. Zava essentially is showcased as the God of football, and Osinski plays him as such, and look - everything with Zava is great! And luckily the writers don’t overuse him, he’s only in a couple of episodes but my oh my does Zava leave an impression! The one and only Zava!!

All the colourful cast return, with Sudeikis’ likeable moustachioed titular Ted a constant delight who you want to hug all the time; Hannah Waddingham (now a Eurovision presenter star) brightens the screen with her energy; Brett Goldstein’s Roy Kent provides his signature grunts throughout, and there’s a great ongoing gag this season with him screaming “whistle”. Anthony Head is devilishly evil as Rupert, and we get to see his home office that looks like the lair of Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars (which I guess makes Nate Darth Vader??). Brendan Hunt’s Coach Beard is an icon at this point, and Jeremy Swift, Cristo Fernandez and Kola Bokinni round up the colourful cast. 

If you loved the previous seasons you’ll enjoy the third season of Ted Lasso. It has the same charm and DNA of the previous episodes, and is a pure delight to watch, even during the darker moments as you know that in the end everything will be set straight. Even with Nate turning into the villain - we already know he’s going to have a redemptive arc, this is Ted Lasso overall. It’s about the journey and how he gets through that redemptive arc, and look, by the end of the show you as an audience may not have forgiven Nate, and most people wouldn’t. But sure as hell Ted and his crew do. So it is indeed with great sorrow we say goodbye to Ted Lasso, at least for the time being, and we shall miss all these characters we have grown to love over these past few years. It’s a bittersweet finale, but as Trent Crimm, The Independent stated back in season 1 - “If the Lasso way is wrong, it’s hard to imagine being right.”

Overall score: 8/10

[ceruleanwhore]

In my soul, I feel disgusted and betrayed by this finale and I am shocked that the same writers who were able to give us such a truly wonderful show somehow came up with such a terrible ending for it. This episode directly opposes the very nature of the show more than any other episode in such a way that then calls into question the rest of the series. This episode feels every bit as hollow and sad as Ted himself seems to be throughout the finale and makes me wonder if we ever were actually supposed to believe and to hope at all in the first place, even though I thought that was the point of the series. 

The first of many issues I have with the episode is how they handled Rupert. The whole show is about belief, but specifically believing in others’ capacity for good and ability to change for the better. It’s about believing in redemption and reconciliation, which they actually could have done for Rupert even this late in the show. The scene in episode 10 where we get a glimpse of the inner child that’s still tucked away somewhere inside him showed us that even he still had this potential, up until they did what they did for the finale. While I, personally, tend to be more like Sassy was in that scene — gleefully cheering for the downfall of an odious scoundrel — it felt completely wrong for this show in particular to include that kind of public humiliation, which we the audience are all supposed to be cheering for, and in the middle of Ted’s last game ever with Richmond.

Where we actually could have used a side bit about a scoundrel getting his comeuppance is with Ted’s ex wife and their ex therapist. I think it’s absolutely terrible that they went and set up Rupert’s downfall the way they did while Jake apparently gets off scot free and never gets his license revoked or anything. There also is never really any acknowledgement of just how wrong what he did was, how he should have his license revoked, and how his actions call into question every bit of therapy Ted and Michelle got from him. No one ever questions ‘Oklahoma,’ never mind the entire divorce, relative to this man’s breach of ethics and it bothers me to no end that the most we get is his absence at the end from scenes with Ted, Michelle, and their son. We didn’t need Rupert dressing up like Darth Vader and physically assaulting someone, we needed Michelle realizing how completely wrong her whole relationship with Jake is, dumping him, and reporting him.

The next issue is Ted himself. Obviously, he was in a gloomy sort of mood throughout the whole episode, but I think it’s really important to point out how that didn’t actually clear up once he got home. I do believe he was happy to see his son but, from the plane ride onward, it’s like he’s just hollow. We see him coaching little league soccer for his kid and yet there isn’t any of the heart and soul in it that we’ve seen him put into his other coaching. It’s like he’s depressed, which is understandable because he just left a whole incredible, supportive community to come to Kansas where, like Odysseus at the end of the Oddyssey, he’s a stranger in his own home. He goes from having a whole city around him to support him to seemingly having nothing and not even being a welcome member of his own family since he’s still divorced. Also, as others have pointed out, that montage that seems to be a dream sequence when he’s on the plane ride home is all about him writing himself out of the lives of everyone he just left behind. He’s decided that it’s better for everyone there to just forget about him and move on with their lives as though he was never there and he’s literally dreaming about how happy they’ll be to do that. 

This is a major thematic issue for this series because one of the main points of the series is the idea that everyone can change for the better and, more importantly, just about every character does. Ted spends all that time in England working on his own shit like everyone else, and even gets over his aversion to therapy in order to seek help for the first time ever, just to throw all of that away at the very end because apparently he’s just back on his bs and that’s it. This is where it would maybe be alright if there were another season after this one to address and fix this, but there isn’t. In the very last episode of the whole thing he’s throwing away his entire community, dreaming about how happy they’ll be without him, and there’s nothing and no one there correcting that. To me, this is like if right at the end of the last episode with no room left to fix it, they just had Beard go steal another car and then act like the audience is supposed to be okay with it.

The other thing, going off of that, is how they handled some of the relationships, and I specifically want to start off by talking about Ted and Rebecca. They have the distinction of being the only ship to truly be baited, more than once, and very unnecessarily so. The bait scene at the start of the final episode contributes nothing to the plot, the characters, or their relationship with each other — all it does is mock the members of the audience who were foolish enough to believe they ever could have been together. This, to me, also goes against the core values and themes of the show, because ship baiting like that is inherently mean-spirited and Ted Lasso at its core is meant to be kind. There is nothing kind about essentially dangling something over someone’s head, playing keep away with it, until you finally just chuck it in the river and laugh at the person for being so foolish as to think they were ever going to get it. It’s mean for the sake of being mean and again, for the umpteenth time, it contributes nothing.

So then let’s get to Roy, Jamie, and Keeley. Jamie and Roy are another example of a strong relationship that’s developed beautifully over the course of three seasons regressing at the very end because oh no, people ship it and we can’t have that. I do think that Keeley turning both of them down was necessary but Roy and Jamie literally getting into a fistfight over her was completely unnecessary and detrimental to their individual characters. By this point, they both are mature enough and respect Keeley enough that it’s genuinely ooc for them to be fighting each other about who gets to date her while she’s not even there. Season 3 Jamie and Roy would’ve been leaving the decision to her without reverting back to macho Neanderthal crap. 

To me, this is also about the creators recognizing that people in the fandom have ships and, for whatever reason, feeling the need to try and shut that down rather than just leaving well alone. If, instead of getting in a fight like they did, Roy and Jamie had a conversation about their shared experiences of wanting to be with Keeley but not knowing where they stand with her and recognizing how hard it is for each other, then it could end up contributing to the further growth of their relationship and, along with it, shipping and oh no, we can’t have that. Just like with Avatar: the Last Airbender, the presence or lack of romantic relationships is not the issue here, the problem is with writers accidentally setting up an incredibly compelling ship and then being like “oops, we didn’t mean to do that,” and trying to ctrl z it in the finale, at the detriment of the whole story. Why oh why do writers keep feeling the need to sacrifice the quality of their whole story for the sake of trying to get people to stop having opinions?

So then last up is Ted and Trent. As many others have pointed out, that bit where Ted’s reading the book and makes that comment about the ‘laugh police’ in response to Trent’s excitement and anxiety is extremely out of character. Ted “but he’s our dork” Lasso would never say that and I was horrified to hear those words come out of his mouth. However, this goes in with the destruction of his entire character arc and every bit of growth he’s done throughout the past three seasons all in this one episode, because that was him actively pushing Trent away because, as previously acknowledged, he’s back on his bs.

One issue with this is that Ted then never has a proper goodbye with Trent and the closest thing to that is the note he left asking Trent to change the title of the book. It’s not that I necessarily think he needed individual goodbyes on screen with every other character but Trent in particular was hugely important for Ted, like how Rebecca was. Do you really mean to tell me that Ted wouldn’t actually say goodbye to the journalist who wrote what, coming from him at the time, was essentially a glowing review when he was actually hired with the intention of destroying Ted’s career? Do you mean to say he wouldn’t get a proper goodbye with the man who threw away his whole career over him? The man who then decided the first thing he wanted to do after leaving said career was to write a book about him and his team? Seriously?

The other thing with Trent is that, where Ted’s ex wife and even Rebecca have felt the need to use ‘Oklahoma’ with him to get him to tell the truth, Trent has a talent for discerning the exact truth from Ted regardless of what he does or does not say. It would have been perfectly in character for him to go talk to Ted like Rebecca tried to but then actually succeed where she failed because he would be able to clearly read Ted’s signals and throw that all back at him. Unlike Rebecca, he could directly call out how much Ted didn’t actually want to leave.

That is actually the biggest issue this episode had — cowardice. The only reason I can think of why they wouldn’t even consider doing something like what I just described is because, like with Roy and Jamie, they are perfectly aware of the chemistry between those characters and how they have set them up so it reads like they’re in love with each other, and a scene like this would be just about impossible to do without coming across as romantic. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Ted and Trent would’ve already been snogging by the start of the season if one of them were a woman. This show did the thing where they’ve decided that they can have a couple gay characters, but those characters can only get with specifically devised side characters because God forbid you just have your two existing characters of the same gender kiss a bit. Between the pairings of Ted and Trent, and Roy and Jamie, there is enough textual evidence of mutual attraction and the potential for real, romantic relationships that one could write over a hundred pages about it, and that is not an exaggeration. When I look at this finale, one of the things I see is the titular character being destroyed because they decided that was better than letting people think that he could maybe not be straight.

The last issue I have here is that there really were no goodbyes. Rebecca showed up at the airport and that’s it and I thought that was very weird and, again, very much not in accordance with the entire rest of the show. Even if they didn’t have the entire team show up at the airport to say goodbye, it didn’t make sense to not even have just the Diamond Dogs show up for that. Where tf was everyone? Because just from watching the whole rest of the show, I think it would be impossible not to expect the team, the dogs, the folks from the pub and maybe also Shannon from town. It was a cold, empty departure far from fitting for the show at all and it left me coming out of that finale feeling cold and empty from the crippling disappointment. They had a whole show centered around interpersonal relationships and support and then had the coldest, loneliest ending anyone there could have devised.

My final thought here is that this is not an ending and the only way to salvage this wreckage is with another season. This feels like something they’re doing to drum up attention and interaction so that it’ll be successful when they do come in and announce that they’ve changed their minds and there will be another season, like an encore at a concert. However, if this really is the end, then I am absolutely disgusted and feel very betrayed right now because this show told me to believe and taught me that maybe hope isn’t actually a bad thing that’s out to get me, just to turn around and crap all over that. This show didn’t just apparently waste hours of my time, it was actually helping to get me to move on from past pain and start to accept hope as a good thing, until it shattered mine. They desecrated the very art they created and then expected the audience to applaud such disrespectful destruction, and I am disgusted by it.

[gnnosis]

we were together. i forget the rest / on togetherness

[ ted lasso, 1x10 / the west wing, 3x05 / the anthropocene reviewed: plague, john green / frog and toad all year, arnold lobel / the raven king, maggie stievater / four friends, salman toor / leaves of grass, walt whitman ]

[filmmarvel]

Ted Lasso Finale Pros and Cons

PROS:

Nate telling everyone about Jade :))

Their performances in the final match, including Isaac kicking the ball THROUGH the net

Barbara’s scenes, and her continuing to work with Keeley!

Rebecca selling her shares and getting a happy ending with Boat Guy- just because it isn’t the ending I wanted doesn’t mean I’m gonna let it ruin the whole thing for me.

The shares going to the fans!

Even though I disliked the Jane thing, it made sense that Beard wanted to stay in England, he was always better acclimated than Ted. He seemed natural, and he had a home and community there.

Sam going to the Nigerian team!

Fun moment with Zava and his avocados

The ussie guy, and a bunch of other fun nods to the first episode

The fine thing at the beginning of the episode

Dr. Sharon finally appearing!

Women’s football happening?

Of course, the believe scene was really sweet

Colin being one of the few characters to get a satisfying arc!

CONS:

Unresolved storylines

The entire Roy/Jamie/Keeley situation? It was really unnecessary to bring Jamie back into the mix this late in the game. Plus that weird bar scene? Not to mention how they had really teased Roy and Keeley getting together for awhile (their whole arc this season was all over the place). Roy was being pretty immature, which kinda undid some character development. And I felt pretty unsatisfied by the lack of resolve there.

The fact that they’re still implying big moments that happened and not actually showing them!! There were a lot of big moments that we never saw- super unsatisfying (ex: Sam deciding to go to the Nigerian team).

Deliberately teasing Tedbecca like that:( The opening scene, her pouring her heart out and him saying NOTHING, her literally buying a first class ticket just to say goodbye to him. I’m not saying Tedbecca HAD to happen for it to be a good finale, just that all that was kinda cruel and irritating for the writers to mislead people like that.

Ted being uncharacteristically unresponsive to a lot of stuff, not talking a lot and joking like most other episodes.

Nate not really having any super impactful moments this episode after a long arc this season (and no Jade scenes). He’s one of the few characters this season who’s really gotten a fulfilling emotional arc, so for him to not really have any big moments this episode felt a bit like whiplash. Not to mention that we didn’t really get any indication of where he’s going from there career-wise? He’s still the wonderkind, so to have him back as a kit man was fun for the episode, but I expected a bit more for his future (at least a tease or something).

Beard marrying Jane (and Ted not being there??)

Ted’s whole ending, the way we have no reason to believe he’ll be at all happy there. I’m glad he’s back with his kid and everything, but what the hell. Like it’s one thing if we had been able to see his friends visiting and staying with him or something but nope! He’s just alone, in a place and with people who have caused him significant unhappiness throughout the show. I feel like they could’ve set it up better, maybe having him discuss things with Dr. Sharon or SOMEONE (just to see his perspective and understand what he’s thinking a bit more) but instead it’s just yet another example of not showing the important moments here.

Not getting any resolve about Jamie’s path in life, future plans, etc and instead only using this episode to make things weird with him and Keeley. They were fine as friends.

I’m not a Ted/Trent shipper (I feel for you guys), but Trent deserved at least one nice scene, a goodbye with Ted, something!

So in conclusion, despite how fun certain parts of this episode were, I was pretty unsatisfied with the lack of resolve among a lot of these storylines and characters, not to mention some poorly justified plot choices. As I mentioned below in my initial reaction, this whole season was so poorly planned out. I assumed that they would’ve at least planned for the finale, but it’s clear now that the whole thing was all over the place. They should’ve decided what they wanted in the finale and then spent the season setting it up. For example, when they decided it was going to end with Ted going home, they could’ve chosen to spend the season slowly working through this decision leading to an ending that would’ve felt justified (and they could’ve spent time setting up a way for him to be happy there). But instead, they introduced it in one of the last episodes. And I could use any number of examples here- Sam going to the Nigerian team, Beard staying, anything with Jamie, etc. This just felt rushed and random.

[goldfish-or-smthing]

im stalking everywhere on the internet for spoilers rn... you cant hide from me Ted Lasso Season 3 Episode 5 'Signs'.

[sy5starplaty]

It’s worth noting here that the series’ fourth co-creator, Bill Lawrence, was otherwise occupied this season as he focused on his new Apple TV+ comedy, Shrinking. The loss of someone who has created or co-created a bunch of beloved, long-running sitcoms like Scrubs and Spin City, and who has a strong command of basic TV structure, was palpable. 

Check out the replies to Sepinwall's tweet about the article for more reasons why it was bad. ;)

[fandom]

Another year, another banger of a Eurovision.

In a stunning upset, Sweden's Loreen beat out Finland's Käärijä to take the top spot at the Eurovision Song Contest. The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom is finally here and the wait was worth it—don't forget to tag or filter spoilers if you don't want to see the absolutely bonkers builds everyone is making. With only three episodes left, season three of Ted Lasso continues to deliver on its multiple emotional arcs. It was a surprising election night on Succession this week. Trigun Stampede trended after Twitter user Bigolas Dickolas Wolfwood inadvertently turned the 2019 novel This Is How You Lose the Time War into a bestseller. Finally, we got the Tony Hawk x Amaury Guichon collab we didn't know we needed. This is Tumblr's Week in Review.

The Eurovision Song Contest

The Legend of Zelda: Tears of the Kingdom

Ted Lasso

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

Succession

Trigun Stampede

Käärijä

Queen Charlotte: A Bridgerton Story

Yellowjackets

Artists on Tumblr

The Owl House

Critical Role

Finland

Stranger Things

9-1-1

UK Politics

Dracula Daily

Taylor Swift

Tony Hawk

Batman | the DC universe

[hacash]

I saw a couple of reviews saying there wasn’t enough football being shown in season 3, this is why Ted Lasso is ‘losing its touch’, we’re not seeing enough of the significant moments on the pitch etc etc; so because I’m a pedantic little fucker I decided to science the shit out of this. Bare in mind, ‘no football featured’ means no matches, so with that in mind:

Season 1

Pilot – No football featured

Biscuits – Richmond’s bad loss against Crystal Palace, not shown

Trent Crimm: The Independent – no football featured

For the Children – no football featured

Tan Lines – Richmond’s win against Unknown, match shown

Two Aces – No football featured

Make Rebecca Great Again – Richmond’s significant win against Everton, match not shown

The Diamond Dogs – No football featured

All Apologies – No football featured

The Hope That Kills You – Richmond lose against Man City, match shown

Season 2

Goodbye Earl – Richmond draws against Nottingham, match shown (sorry Dani…)

Lavender – No football featured

Do the Right-est Thing – Richmond lose against Coventry after Sam’s protest, match not shown

Carol of the Bells – No football featured

Rainbow – Richmond undergo a bad streak and then play Sheffield Wednesday, match not shown (but the run-up is)

The Signal – Richmond win against Tottenham, match shown (but not the crucial victory)

Headspace – No football featured

Man City – Richmond lose against Man City, match shown

Beard After Hours – No football featured

No Weddings and a Funeral – No football featured

Midnight Train to Royston – Sam scores a hat-trick, not shown

Inverting the Pyramid of Success – Richmond win against Brentford, match shown

Season 3

Smells Like Mean Spirit – No football featured

(I Don’t Want to Go to) Chelsea – Richmond ties with Chelsea, match shown

4-5-1 – Zava leads Richmond to victory, series of matches shown

Big Week – Richmond lose to West Ham, match shown

Signs – Richmond experience a bad run of losses, aftermath of matches shown

Sunflowers – Richmond lose to Ajax, aftermath of match shown

The Strings That Bind Us – Richmond lose to Arsenal, match shown

We’ll Never Have Paris – Richmond enjoy a winning streak, only the reactions shown

La Locker Room Aux Folles – Richmond win against Brighton, match shown (but not Colin’s turnaround)

 I’d say we’re actually seeing a lot more football this season than we have done before. The pattern of not having all the significant moments on the pitch portrayed is something Ted Lasso has been doing since season 1, after all. Remember the win at Everton? Nate’s magnificent ‘Park The Bus’ over Tottenham? Sam’s hat-trick? Isaac getting his mojo back on the field? Nope, neither do I, because we didn’t see them. In a way they’re not nearly as important as the character development off the field that surrounds it, and the show’s always been very honest about that.

After all, the cast do a great job, but with the exception of Cristo Fernandez, they’re not footballers - they were never going to be expected to do all the work on the pitch. Now there might be something of an argument for saying ‘but we’re less emotionally invested in where the team are placing in the league’ this season - but if I’m honest, I remember approaching both the s1 and s2 finales thinking ‘oh that’s where they are in the league?! god, I forgot we were supposed to be keeping track of that’. Football has always been a supporting role in this show, not the star.

Anyway, EXCUSE ME SIR THIS IS THE FOOTBALL ADJACENT SHOW NOT SOCCER SATURDAY THANK YOU

[belmottetower]

3.10 International Meta

Ted Lasso’s International Break details - actually extremely accurate! I am pleasantly surprised! If you read my review of episode 9, you’d have seen at the end the part where we freaked out about the potential for bad exposition regarding this stuff. But they actually fucking nailed it! And they left so much space for amazing fic and headcanons!

I’m going to overhaul the International Break page on the primer to include all the new information and erase stuff that is now erroneous and I will post again when done, but in the meantime, here are some notes about details in this episode that hopefully will be exciting to think about, in terms of gap-filling fic or otherwise. Trust me, applying some of the below information to the show really heightens an already VERY AMAZING episode. Uncle’s Day! Gareth Southgate! 24!

Ted Lasso season 3 is set in the 2021/2022 football season. We have a thorough timeline of season 3 coming for the primer, but in 3.10, Richmond has played 31 league matches so far (16 wins, 6 losses, 9 draws according to the board) and the time being featured in this episode is the annual March international break. 

In real life, this break happened from 21-29 March 2022. There also would have been international breaks in August, October and November 2021. These were not featured on the show but would have occurred in between episodes, regardless of whether any players were called up during them or not. The August break would have happened during the Zava montage of wins in episode 3, the October break would have happened directly after episode 3 and before episode 4, and the November break would have happened in the bad run of matches that happened off screen between episode 4 and episode 5.

The March break is usually dedicated to continental friendlies rather than tournament qualifiers. Each international team would have played TWO games that week within their confederation, so Canada played Mexico once and some other CONCACAF nation once. England and Wales would have each played two UEFA opponents, and so on. 

The international matches are generally spaced out over something like Thursday and Saturday, or Friday and Sunday - a few days training, play one game, more days training, play the next game, recovery, press, back to the regular league club by the following Tuesday.

The moment Beard reads out the names in the dressing room after the Leicester match would not be the first moment the players are finding out this news. That international announcement does not happen on a match day, and they guys are responding happily but not as excitedly as they would if this was The Big News Announcement, especially for Jamie’s very first time. That moment was a summary of already known information, the call-ups would have come in the week before. 

They’ve just played Leicester on the Saturday and Jamie for instance would have got the news sometime between Monday to Thursday of the prior week. This year, the England squad announcement for the March break was released to the public on Thursday 16th March before the players showed up at St George’s Park to train on the following Monday the 20th. I’m sad we did not actually get to see Jamie’s call-up moment, but the primer has a BUNCH of examples about how he may have gotten the news so feel free to peruse and imagine your favourite situation for Jamie.

Dani is the only person we know for sure has had prior call ups - he’s listed as a Mexico international on the cheat sheet since before he even came to Richmond - but on this break, Jamie is the only person they mention making his debut, his very first call-up (invitation to be in the squad) and potential cap (cap being the term for actually making an appearance - he could have been called up but not capped, as in, didn’t come off the bench.) That Jamie detail kind of implies all the others have done it before, but that doesn’t quite fit with Ted not knowing that Bumbercatch is playing for Switzerland, as they would have gone through like, nine prior international breaks before this one since Ted’s arrival.

Pretty sure Bumbercatch IS English, but he must be eligible for Switzerland under the grandparent rule. Basically, when you select your international eligibility, you can claim it for the country of birth of one of your parents or grandparents. Players will sometimes do this if their main nationality is from a more competitive footballing country. You can switch allegiance between junior and senior levels (Jack Grealish and Declan Rice, both VERY ENGLISH MEN, played for Ireland as juniors because they had a better chance of being selected there. When it became clear they were England-good, they switched allegiances for senior selection. Irish fans are still angry about this.) I’m assuming Bumbercatch has at least one Swiss parent or grandparent so put himself up for FIFA eligibility as Swiss rather than English, as the Switzerland team is easier to get into than the England team.

England trains at St George’s Park near Birmingham, about 130 miles/ 2 and a half hours drive from Richmond. Jamie would have trained at SGP before as a junior England player in the age group teams (see the primer about how this is almost 100% a given) so it would not be a brand new place for him to visit, but it would be very special coming in as an England senior player for the first time on the Monday morning.

The team travels down from SGP to London to play their home matches at Wembley Stadium, the home of English football and the same place the semi-final against Man City took place last season. This is only about 10 miles from Richmond, hence Beard saying “up the way at Wembley.” Sometimes both matches of the break are at home, or sometimes one is abroad and they fly to the other country. FWIW, in real life, the two England games in the March 2022 break were both at Wembley, so no overseas travel.

The jacket Jamie is wearing for Uncle’s Day is an example of the casual England wear the players get given upon their call up (as opposed to their training kit or match kit.) This is what they will wear to travel as a group, or in their free time around camp. Sometimes they get gear sent over the week before so they can already be dressed in the team gear when they arrive (there are social media videos made of their arrivals) or sometimes they pick it all their gear on arrival.

Jamie would have reported for International Duty probably on Monday. Occasionally the report-in is Tuesday. But Uncle’s Day is happening on WEDNESDAY. (Keeley references the day of the week in her scenes set that same day.) The reason I bring this timeline up is because it’s looking likely that Jamie ran away from the England camp to attend this party. He either drove himself down from Birmingham after training on Wednesday afternoon - very not allowed, they are kept pretty firmly on campus - or the team traveled down to London VERY early, because Jamie’s first Wembley match takes place on Friday, not Thursday. The fact that he has sourced an original copy of the 2014 World Cup kit for Roy and was able to get the name cuntified in a legitimate manner suggests to me that he actually got that done at by the kit men at the England base camp, making it even more likely that he’s been at camp and snuck away back to London for the afternoon. 

2014 was Roy’s last World Cup, but his last England cap, ever, was in the 2016 Euros (in a real life game that England lost, a very low point - we suspect this is also when he left Chelsea, at the end of the 15/16 season) and given his legendary status in the game, it’s not unlikely his first international tournament was either the 2000 Euros or the 2002 World Cup. Comparing how the show frames him to other players like him, I would guess he has anywhere between 70 to 120 caps.

3.10 establishes, via Jamie’s gift to Roy, that the World Cup cycle within Ted Lasso is the same years as real life, so there is a World Cup coming up for the players right after season 3 finishes. If Ted Lasso-verse does a different host to real life (the controversial choice of Qatar) the 2022 Ted Lasso World Cup will be in the June and July immediately following the finale. If Qatar is mentioned, the 2022 World Cup won’t take place until November 2022, disrupting the Premier League during the following season (season 4, if we get it.)

The commentary of the England match mentions Southgate - meaning that Gareth Southgate, the real England manager, is also the manager within the show. This is GREAT news for Jamie enjoyers, almost as good news as Real Pep. See primer for details on Southgate and how he would have crossed paths with Jamie before. This is a VERY BIG DEAL and a bit of a dream come true for me. Gareth is about a decade older than Roy, they would know each other from some crossover playing time in the early 2000s. He would have played at England alongside Roy if Roy debuted for England before 2004.

I just had a conversation that made me realise that some people might think that league or club coaches might also join the England team for breaks the way that players do. Not how it works. Managing England is a full time job - Gareth Southgate is not ALSO a club coach. Sometimes the assistant coaches have other jobs - for a while Ted Lasso match commentator Chris Powell was helping to coach England while also helping to coach the Tottenham Hotspur academy team. But Gareth's ONLY job is the England men's first team, including keeping up with the status of potential squad members all year and so on.

It's not impossible that Roy could eventually be brought on to the England assistant coaching staff while also assistant coaching Richmond - in real life one of West Ham’s assistant coaches does this - but Roy doesn't have a lot of experience coaching so it's unlikely, and it's not going to happen if Roy becomes the actual manager of Richmond at the end of the season. Still. It could be a fun idea if Roy doesn’t become the manager.

Jamie wearing 24 is very plausible within how national squad numbering works and it is actually the number we suggested for him in the primer before this episode aired! Our choice was nothing to do with Sam, but was chosen because it was the number given to Callum Wilson, England’s non-starting striker, in the World Cup. Jamie will not be England’s go-to 9 for many years. 

Jamie could have requested 24, but the international shirt numbering is not a free for all. You can’t select 54 or 81 or something. The squad is numbered from 1 to however many (usually 26) with no gaps, and it’s not fixed and permanent like club numbers. Who gets what number is altered every match based on the starting line up, unless you’re in a big tournament where you keep the same shirt number the whole month. For an international friendly like this, the starters for that game will wear 1 through 11, then all the substitutes will be numbered on from there. 

Given that Jamie is brand new to the team, and on the bench (he comes on at the 65th minute when it’s 6-0 to England, replacing the not-Harry-Kane England starting striker who wears the 9, a very normal situation for a game that’s going successfully, rest your stars and give the newbies a chance to stretch their legs) being numerically low in list makes sense. He would have always had a number between say 22 and 26, but within that, he could probably make a request, if it isn’t putting anyone else out, like “Hey, if no one minds, can I have 24?” as opposed to 22, 23, 25 or whatever. They do give people their favorites if they ask for it, so it works PERFECTLY for him to have 24, as it fits his position in the team as well as the Sam tribute.

However, his squad number would have been listed on the team sheet in advance of the match. Sam being surprised in the moment is slightly off - they would have seen his number when they learned he'd been selected for the game's lineup at all.

For those bummed out that Jamie’s friends were not there in person - England would have played another match on the Sunday, there is never just one in a break. Maybe Roy, Keeley, Ted, Isaac, Sam and so on went to Wembley to support him at the Sunday match in person before club training resumed at Richmond on the Monday or Tuesday.

[figmentof]

so i've been seeing a lot of people ask "what streaming service would want to pick up a show that only has one season left?" and i think that's a really valid question

now i'm not by any means a media analyst nor do i know the inner workings of the streaming industry but maybe my logic could help alleviate some of that anxiety

ofmd has a solid and very loyal viewer base. the ratings of both s1 and s2 have proven that, especially s2. s1 already outperformed in every way by running circles around MCU projects like Moon Knight and Loki, left both SW shows The Mandalorian and Book of Boba Fett in the dust, and did exceptionally well for a freshman series when going up against existing IPs. now we know that that alone was what got us s2 with max, but even then max/WBD went and slashed the budget by 40% 😬. BUT, even with this limitation and the pacing getting fucked up by rewrites/cut downs for the last three episodes, s2 still came through and delivered record breaking numbers, rave reviews across the board with major media outlets, and outdid their s1 performance that max officially listed ofmd as their max original flagship show. the unfortunate thing however is that none of this made a difference, we still got dropped last minute when the bts crew was already gearing up for pre-production

just because WBD/Zaslav doesn't respect or see the value of the show, doesn't mean other networks/streamers don't. a huge reason why i pushed for apple tv is bc they're a service that i've noticed cares about letting a show do their thing and not as much about viewership. apple tv did get a lot of attention and money from Ted Lasso though, and it was their flagship show for the three seasons it aired. i'm sure their 45 minute per episode season 3 was granted to them mainly because the show brought so much attention to their platform, so i think they'd absolutely do that for ofmd too what with it also being a feel good rom com with positive messages

ofmd also has a huge social media presence. the most recent and very successful example DJenks could use within his pitch is the astroglide incident. within an hour of astroglide tweeting about ofmd, fans are already photoshopping their product into screencaps, editing them into clips, and drawing fan art-- free advertisement delivered to them just because they gave us some attention. the fan tweets with astroglide reached thousands of eyes and astroglide was trending. any service that chooses to pick ofmd up isn't just getting a fanbase that would save them some budget in terms of marketing, but also help them market their lesser known shows too. and Casey Bloys said so himself, albeit very tone deaf and for all the wrong reasons, the twitter gays are the ones who have the power to bring attention to a show (queer word of mouth is no joke)

sometimes all a streaming service needs is a show to push people to subscribe, and i think a lot of these services have good shows but no one is looking for them. ofmd fans are pretty good at browsing through what a service has to offer but you need to give them an incentive, as would any business, that makes them want to spend money. i just think that picking ofmd up is only ever a win for a streamer and it would be stupid of them not to

of course, if you want actual insider knowledge with stats and more realistic talks of what might happen (cautiously optimistic!), you know to check out thecozypirate and meowzawowza_ on twt

[gerapitico]

So many people are talking about how disappointed they are in the season. I came out with the opposite feeling, and here's some reasons why: (cut because I wrote . . . 9 paragraphs on my phone about this . . . That's a lot huh)

Claire: So many people hate the presence of Claire this season and the lack of resolution. But I think it's no coincidence that the Faks spend the first half of the season establishing haunting and then make Carmy label Claire as his haunting (one of many). She haunts the story because everyone in the show expects something from her and Carmy, and they aren't getting it.

No forward progress: the first and second season deal with moving forward, at a break neck pace, regardless of the consequences. This season shows the consequences. No one grows, because The Bear, with Carmy's non-negotiables at the head, doesn't allow for growth. Everyone is stuck in the past, and some get to move through that, and others get even more stuck.

Vignettes and disconnect: the main through line is about pursuing excellence according to Carmy at The Bear. But there are a full 3 episodes fully out of step of that plot (potentially 5 if you include the last two episodes). 2 are out of time as well, with Tomorrow showing Carmy's education in kitchens, and Napkins showing how Tina ended up at The Beef. And Ice Chips is all about motherhood and breaking cycles of abuse. It's a season of disconnect, and you can take that many ways. A lot of people are talking it as bad writing, and as the showrunners fumbling the ball. I think managing a season with emotional beats and consistent themes in a non-linear narrative is so incredibly hard, and they hit so many amazing beats.

POC: I cannot speak to this, but the arguments I've seen are some of the only criticism I've agreed with in the season.

SydCarmy: yall, I've had my heart broken by ships far to many times to look at this reaction as anything more than pearl clutching. I saw how people reacted with Ted Lasso. I was here for the last season of Supernatural. So yes, I think their dynamic is cute. I also think they both have chemistry with other people, and that this season shows that they cannot work in the situation they are in now. People have complained about them losing their ASL sign, but neither of them are apologizing for anything to each other this season, so when would they even use it? Carmy used it a little at the end of last season, but Syd had totally stopped, and now so had he. Sydney is incapable of making a life changing decision (which oof, been there) and Carmy literally cannot think externally to himself. They are SO bad for each other even as friends right now, and they don't feel like end game. I know I do this too, but despite having platonic friends in my real life who I'm super close to, when I see it in fiction, I immediately see romance. And I'm working on that, because you know what I want here so so bad in season 4? Sydney and Carmen to have identities apart from each other, that can combine in a relationship (honestly I'd prefer platonic at this point) where they call each other out and support each other in healthy ways. Neither are there right now (though Sydney is WAY closer).

In all:

Some people are giving bad reviews, and I came away loving it. I hoped when I looked at the tags, I would find people excited, talking about the first episode and how it put them in a frantic trance, or how poignant it was seeing Donna sitting with the Faks while her grand daughter was born. Or maybe how with all the extreme close-ups this season, you still feel distant from the characters, because they refuse to communicate (a thing I also do and know a bunch of people that do!!!!)

A show is not a failure of storytelling if the characters don't change or develop. Sometimes the story is about being stuck, and not having a way out. Sometimes it's about the people in your life having huge, life changing events (death in the family, birth of a child, wedding of a co-parent) and being completely unable to be a part of it. And sometimes a story is messy and disconnected and cruel. Sometimes there aren't happy endings, and people do things you don't expect. That's life.

I haven't felt connect to a show in this kind of way in a long time. I got emotional from something that was said or done, or even a shot on screen, in every episode. And it was cathartic, watching a funeral where the kid didn't cry, seeing a panic attack at a party, and seeing a mother and daughter bond over something I will probably never bond with my mother over.

And there are other things I could mention, or talk about at length, but it won't change anything. It won't change people disliking the season, or dismissing it. It won't change the awe I had at chefs taking about their trade, or pea pods being cleaned, or the cinematography of the only title sequence they did all season. It won't change my want for the story to continue. But at least I got my thoughts out, so it's not stuck in me, like the apologies stuck in Carmen's throat, or the decision stuck in Sydney's head.

[nobigsecrets]

Fic Writing Review 2023 🌈

Ha, I did think about digging up last year's review and doing it sometime before Christmas! Because I've done these for a few years now. But I have barely written anything in 2023 and I never went looking. But now that I've been tagged I'm gonna do it, even if it comes out on the (very) short side. Thank you for the tag, @itwoodbeprefect!

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Words and Fics (on ao3) 📚

words posted: 32,393

fics posted: 5

first fic: Rainbows over Waikiki

last fic: "Are you mad?" (Chapter 7 of H50 Short Fics and Prompt Fills)

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Ships and Fandoms ⚓

Hawaii Five-0 (2010) (2) McDanno, of course

Ted Lasso (TV) (3) Roy x Jamie, who I have shipped since season 1 (when Jamie confessed to Roy about the poster) and I find it somewhat funny that it has become the fandom's Big Ship only after last season

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Top 5 Fics by Kudos 🏆

With 5 fics in total this one is easy:

Oi! Tartt! Boot Room now! Ted Lasso, Roy x Jamie, T, 1k words

Those Lips (Red as Blood) Ted Lasso, Roy x Jamie, T, 1.4k words

Rainbows over Waikiki H50, McDanno, M, 27k words, incomplete

One night at G-A-Y Ted Lasso, Roy x Jamie, T, 405 words

"Are you mad?" H50, McDanno, G, 567 words

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Top 5 Favorite Fics 💖

Picking just one:

Rainbows over Waikiki Shortly after his mom dies, Steve kisses his best friend Luca. A week later his dad shoves him back into the closet by sending him away to the Army-Navy-Academy. What follows is a life full of lying and hiding and pretending—until he finds support from unlikely allies. Things get complicated when he returns to Hawaii 20 years later, when DADT is repealed and he falls head over heels for his new partner, Danny Williams. This is Steve’s story.

My baby. My big story. The Project that I've been working on for several years tbh. It's still incomplete even though there's not much that's missing (mostly editing, a missing link between the last two chapters and parts of the epilogue). I wrote most of it in 2022 and was on a good way to finishing it at the beginning of 2023 so I started posting. I don't know what happened then. Too much work, too much stress, call it writer's block if you will, I haven't been able to pick it back up. I will finish it, I promise, I just don't know when. 🥺

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Fandom Fic Events 🤝

none

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Projects for 2024 👀

After the last year I don't have much trust in making fic writing plans anymore. I don't think my work load will decrease anytime soon. But then, maybe I should stop waiting for the day I'm suddenly not tired anymore and just write anyway. Because I miss writing. A lot.

So let's treat this as a wish list more than an actual project list, yeah?

The fic that is closest to finishing is a continuation of One night at G-A-Y, with a gay Roy trying to figure out what kind of flavor queer Jamie is, if at all.

A McDanno fic where Steve has been dishonorably discharged from the Navy thanks to DADT. He returns to Hawaii, out and proud now because fuck the Navy, and he opens up a queer gym after he doesn't find a place where he can train without either hiding or suffering harassment. When a man dies in an illegal MMA fight, Steve suddenly finds himself subject of a police investigation led by (surprise!) Detective Danny Williams. In my mind this is another Big and Long Story. Maybe I can find a way to break it down into small chunks.

A kind of dark-ish fic where, despite being a SEAL and therefore very capable of defending himself, thank you very much, Steve finds himself at a disadvantage when he's assaulted by a bunch of homophobe thugs.

I have collected a variety of paragraphs and snippets around a transmasc!Steve headcanon. I haven't figured out what to do with them yet.

And, of course, finish Rainbows Over Waikiki

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Tagging ✨

I think most people I know have been tagged in the original post. I'm adding (no pressure) @cowandcalf, @goneahead, @emphasisonthehomo, @lukeclvez and anyone (you!) who wants to join in.

[subjectifymedia]

‘Ted Lasso’ season 3, episode 2 in conversation: There’s a part of me thinking maybe I should have stayed

The legacy of the great Roy Kent is at the heart of this week’s Ted Lasso, as a warm reception from his former club and a scar from a decades-old wound lead to a painful reflection over the way he’s chosen to live his life. Rebecca tries to beat Rupert to the signature of a difficult superstar player and Keeley goes to bat for a friend from her old life. Read on for our review of Ted Lasso season 3, episode 2, ‘(I Don’t Want to Go to) Chelsea.’

Natalie: This is Roy's issue about everything. His head is a fucking prison. He cannot accept love. He cannot ever just choose the thing that makes him happy.

Megan: He can't just let himself be happy with Keeley, no matter how much he loves her. Because he thinks he's not good enough for her, he's holding her back, that she's outgrown him. And even if she didn't give him a single hint that that is true, once it's in his head he can't get it out. And so he breaks up with her, because he can't let himself enjoy it.

Natalie: And because he thinks she will eventually do it first. This whole conversation is wrapped in a metaphor for his breaking up with Keeley — the whole "people think it’s better to quit than be fired" thing is basically what happened there with her. But I also can't and won’t write it all off as just being about Keeley. This relationship between Roy and football, Roy and Chelsea, isn't simply a metaphor or a form of sublimation. It matters to him, a lot, as its own thing. It has weight and value on its own. It's one of the biggest parts of his identity, his life.

[filmmarvel]

ALSO I’ve seen a couple posts about how friendship was the priority, it was never about romance, and the ambiguity of the ending is just how life goes sometimes. While I don’t outright disagree with any of that, the finale still didn’t feel right. Just because romance was never the priority doesn’t mean there hasn’t been a focus on it across certain storylines. Just because romance wasn’t the priority doesn’t mean there isn’t a place for it in the show- there have been numerous romantic arcs. And I think that’s also kind of overlooking how much they’ve teased everyone. I don’t really think it’s fair for them to make us believe that there’s going to be a satisfying ending to these couples, only to rip the carpet out from under us, just to make a point about friendship. And as for the whole, ‘life is ambiguous’ thing, I don’t disagree! But a lot of good shows use the final episode to give viewers a sense of where these characters will end up, as a way to leave everyone satisfied. And I believe that the BASIC duty of a finale is to wrap up the storylines. So while I don’t disagree with those general points, it was just lazy for them to let so many things go unresolved. Thank you for coming to my Ted talk

[beingfacetious]

please give us the correct negative Ted lasso review

Oh my God. This feels like a trap but I can't help it

update from the other side, this is no joke 2k words long and it's not uh happy lmao so dead dove do not eat

TL;DR:

Bill Lawrence's involvement lessened every season and it fuckin' shows

There were arcs and plot points established over the first two seasons that the writers very obviously just changed their minds about for this season

Takes about this season being dark/ending sad on purpose are MUCH too generous. like giving WAY too much credit.

It turns out most of my feelings boil down to "it's not aggressively bad it's just nonsensical"

How tf was every episode twice as long as in previous seasons but everything important happened offscreen

FIRST OF ALL, since MONTHS before the season started airing, I've nursed a conspiracy theory that Bill Lawrence left the show because of creative differences with Jason Sudeikis and that therefore this season would be significantly less good than previous seasons. This started when I saw Bill tweet that he was going home, basically, and I figured we'd get "season 3 is in post" news shortly thereafter but instead there was that weird stuff about things being delayed because of rewrites...? Anyway, that is mostly to say that I was ready to think this season was worse because I love Bill Lawrence's storytelling and have forever and you should give Cougar Town a shot if you haven't yet it's no Scrubs but it's sweet

There were interviews early in the show in which I swear Jason/Brendan/whoever said they pitched the show to Bill because he's fuckin' good at TV and he basically said "this is a great idea but you're writing to the wrong ending, it should be this," and they were like "wow you're right that is a better ending." I can't find that now but I did find this from a more recent Bill interview:

I ran that show the first year because Jason was still shooting movies while we were doing the writers room. Then, at the end of that year, much like Gary with me, I was like, “Ah, I’ll spend a couple of months teaching him how to edit.” But after like a day or two, he’s like, “Yeah, I got it.” (Laughs.) So, the second year, we ran it together, and I’m only able to do other things now because that guy ran the show himself the third year, as it should be. It’s his voice and his world this season.

Now look, Bill Lawrence is obviously not trying to throw shade here because he's lovely and also this is a Hollywood Reporter article and how immature would that be, but I can throw shade for him and I will: Jason Sudeikis is a talented comedic actor and seems like a very nice man and he had a good idea for a show, and his instincts to involve an extremely experienced showrunner with an insane talent for feelsy found family sitcoms were good and he should have stuck to them!! Telling Bill Lawrence you're good after two days of editing instruction or whatever is stupid!! Insisting on your voice and your world when BILL LAWRENCE'S VOICE IS AVAILABLE TO YOU and also you CO-CREATED THE WORLD whatever gdi

OK fine I'll do Ted/Rebecca next. Obviously I was in for Ted/Rebecca. I wanted them to put their faces together. But look, I'm not a shipper over all else; over all else I want a good storyteller to tell me the story they want to tell. If I expect things or see them coming, that's not bad! That's good! If I'm surprised by things, that's good too as long as it holds together! "Subverting expectations" shouldn't look like spiting the audience, a lie is not a twist, etc. SO. If Ted and Rebecca were meant to be platonic soulmates, that's fine!!! I don't NEED them to kiss!!! But I do not believe these people are even friends in season 3, after season 1 and tbh most of my favorite parts of season 2 were about how much they impact each other's lives. That's a dropped ball and there's NO REASON to have not made time for them to interact meaningfully because every episode was so fucking long. Instead I guess we had to know how super sad Rebecca was about not being able to have children but not need to talk to anyone about it and immediately be fully over it. Also see a lot of lingering shots of Rebecca...looking at a matchbook...

sfjbkfgs early in the season they very obviously established that Rebecca's arc was going to be realizing she actually loves the team and wants to support them and see them succeed because of her own heart and not to spite Rupert, and I guess that happened but why didn't it happen gradually in ways I could see, why did it happen in an episode in which I'm supposed to have known all along that this has to do with her childhood self ?? and in which Rupert has a FULL personality change to facilitate her sudden realization. In what fucking world would he invite her to that meeting, because she's smart or because she brings ~diversity or because maybe he wants to sleep with her again? None of it tracks at all lmao but it was also the episode in which I really enjoyed Tony Head so whatever

speaking of not tracking, Nate.........I've never been invested in Nate especially but he was SO cartoonishly evil at the start and then kind of never again. I was braced for a redemption arc I wouldn't care about but that didn't even really happen?? he got a girlfriend and realized Rupert was a bad role model? it turns out his dad thinks he was a prodigy and always just wanted him to be happy, which, lmao WHAT where????? and what am I supposed to believe about Jade changing her mind about him btw because she's seen people be terrible to him at that very table before AND she has to know he loves the place and the food because he's there all the time, so what was the revelation that turned her from relatable-via-Nate-ambivalence to suddenly heart-eyes just fdslelugatw so much of my feeling about this season isn't even like it's bad it's just it's nonsense

One of my big complaints about the season is just Keeley's whole deal. Separating her from the team/rest of the cast was a wild choice. Barbara is fine but I also would have been perfectly fine without her and none of the other new characters for the PR side story added anything to the show. Especially if at the end Rebecca is just going to write Keeley a check for the chump change she needs to run the agency. Why didn't we just do that to begin with??? I guess this season I'm supposed to think Keeley ~learned to be independent in various ways but, again, I don't ?? And her needing to not be with Roy I guess as part of that and then get back together offscreen but then not really be together maybe but then also possibly having throuple vibes later that never get acknowledged feels, whatever, like something Bill Lawrence didn't write sdfjlsefaj,lwte I know this is my unsupportable argument that post I RBed was making fun of but idc

also Jamie wanting to be with Keeley at the end of the show feels extremely Harry Potter epilogue to me lmao Jamie you don't have to marry someone you went to high school with there are so many people

Roy was fine this season. He didn't have much to do but that's probably for the best lol. Him taking Ted's job is probably the only main character ending I feel like makes sense for this season and the overall show. Him training and begrudgingly becoming friends with Jamie was always funny.

OK one of the wrong reviews was basically like if you don't appreciate this season you don't appreciate classic tragic structure. Fuck off with that. First of all this was a sitcom about soccer so even if they were going for a classic tragedy in season 3 that's stupid and they shouldn't have been. But I also just don't think that's what was happening ??? I think I'm supposed to believe everyone gets a happy ending and I just don't. Like the whole oh it's sad that Ted ends up where he started and it's about how persistent optimism and kindness can burn you out or whatever, that's...if that's what they were going for, again, why tf, and also could we have seen that like. at all. Ted barely Teds for anyone this season (frex the previously mentioned never talking to Rebecca). ROY Teds more than Ted in season 3. If we got to see Ted trying to Ted even, like, twice, and either not being able to dig down and find the positivity or I guess noticing that he needs someone to be that for him, OK, fine. A Ted/Keeley scene would have been a PERFECT vehicle for this. Didn't happen. idk if we're supposed to think he's getting back together with Michelle but that would be so...so bad ??? like what about Tan Lines??? why even have Tan Lines??? even if not, we just left completely unaddressed her starting a relationship with their marriage counselor, which is also BAD lmao. God why did I have to see so much of Michelle this season. Michelle video calls every other episode and two lines for Dr. Sharon. Nonsense. lol one of my friends summarized Ted's ending as "yeah going back to the unfulfilling life that didn't work before the show started is a victory for our protagonist"

Even the soccer of it all re that whole thing was silly. Oh marriage counselor boyfriend is a bad guy because he doesn't care about the soccer game. Oh Ted is happy now because he's coaching Henry's rec league soccer team. like it's fine that EVERYONE is still together in Richmond but he's "home" now and still around soccer which is good because we definitely saw him learn to love soccer during the course of the show. sure Jan

(to be fair I am not the audience for "it's about the kid" plots so even if I felt like it worked from the start of the show for Ted to choose moving back to where Henry is, which I don't, I wouldn't care for it, so maybe those criticisms aren't especially valid) (I didn't care about JD's kid either)

speaking of the soccer though every single scene that revolved around the actual soccer team was essentially perfect. Great use of so many of those boys. Very few notes. Sam in particular had a few nice things this season and of course Colin. Another incorrect review by a critic I actually like very much was complaining about Colin's story this season and it being tired and overdone and not caring about Trent's or Isaac's parts of it, but I actually really disagree! It was well done and it was nice to see in the context of professional sports where, sorry, coming out and being received well is not a cliche thing that happens a lot! Also, hot take! Zava was a good part of this season! Nice contained little story that impacted some characters I actually care about plus he was legit funny! Sometimes things in a comedy should be funny! I'd honestly watch three more seasons of Richmond-focused half-hour episodes with idk probably Brett Goldstein in charge

I haven't mentioned Beard because I just never understood what I was supposed to think about him lmao. By far the funniest character overall but I never felt settled on whether he was meant to be a manic pixie comic relief BFF or if he was like...a real person?? It strikes me as potentially bad that he was so worried about Ted's mental state all the time and never really mentioned his own and that was sort of a thing in the weird s2 episode but then not again? I felt so much ire about so much else I didn't have any for him marrying Jane lmao but I do understand the people who are upset about that because that sure seemed pretty toxic, but wasn't it supposed to be played for laughs? Does that fit in a show that's supposed to mainly be about people treating each other well because we're all we've got? idk, RIP Beard, sorry your best friend in the world wasn't at your wedding because it would have been narratively underwhelming to see him leave and then see him back at a future major event or whatever

idk idk, season 1 Rebecca was one of my favorite characters ever and I was so angry in the middleish of the season about how much I felt like she was being wasted, but by the end I was just like...I mean, what's to be mad at. She's not even her anymore. Ted wasn't Ted anymore. Nate I guess literally reverted back to season 1 Nate which also is that...okay...him ending up lower than he started out feels not great

Good for Mae and the bar boys though, used just the right amount this and every season and always a damn delight

OK this is ridiculous I'm going to be done now. I do want to say I enjoyed several episodes this season a lot! A couple top 10 potentials! I really enjoyed the Amsterdam one actually because it reminded me of like a Nancy Meyers movie, very nice and warm, but it feels worth noting that that is not a feeling I would describe as being struck by fucking lightning :))))))

in conclusion maybe we as a nation can move on now from giving SNL alumni we find charming huge budgets and ethereally talented casts and collaborators and letting them get us emotionally invested in their midlife crises sandbox playing

[trelkez]

Me watching Ted Lasso 3.11:

I truly thought the last few episodes of the show had broken any remaining faith I had in its storytelling, but no. The second scene of this episode: that broke any remaining faith I had in Ted Lasso's storytelling. This season is NOT GOOD. And yet: are they going to make my OT3 canon? Are they?

I'm going to process Ted Lasso 3.11 (mostly) the way I did last week, by doing a rewatch and taking everything in order as it happens. The show's writing is so incoherent at this point that I'm not going to attempt to impose order on it; things just occur. This is the way.

1. Ted's Mom

I spent the entire opening credit sequence mentally reviewing every Ted/Trent fic I've ever read that had some kind of take on Ted's mom – and realizing that whatever we were about to get wasn't going to be as interesting as anything I'd read in fic, because this season is hell-bent on the idea that all conflict can be washed away in the space of a single conversation. 

Remember when I would've just been excited to finally meet Ted's mom? Pepperidge Farm remembers.

2. Jade hates working with her boyfriend

And who can blame her? This woman has one thing, and that is working at Taste of Athens. Come on, Nate, get your own thing!

3. "We want you to come back to Richmond."

So, okay.

I've already written pretty extensively on how badly handled Nate's redemption arc has been. This has been a problem all season long; before I moved back to Tumblr, I was writing small, irate tweets about it.

Let's go back and look at some of the things I said during and after season 2:

2.07: Nate - his characterization has been really consistent: he's always been a jerk to Will, he uses his power over others to belittle them to make himself feel better, he conflates being assertive with being aggressive, this stuff was in s1 too

post-s2, 1/3: the show put a lot of work into showing Nate punching down, his growing narcissism, the ways feeling underappreciated makes him cruel to others and himself; I don't think we're meant to take away that being denied a Nespresso machine justifies a heel turn

post-s2, 2/3: Nate's history with women as shown is not great - when he thinks he's fired he immediately calls Rebecca a shrew; "perhaps you'd like to give me your number, too" to Jade the hostess as soon as he feels like he can order her around; kissing Keeley at all

post-s2, 3/3: when he kissed Keeley I was like, sure, this tracks; (for him) it becoming solely about him being mad that it wasn't enough to get Roy's attention also tracks. but the rest ... and some of the media takeaway ... is weird to me. is this relatable content?? should it be?

What gets me about all of this is that sometimes, this season has almost convinced me that Nate leaking the panic attack story to Trent was just a weak moment for which an otherwise lovable guy should be forgiven – but the evidence isn't there. They were so consistent in how they built up Nate's fall; they seeded that in as far back as season one. They signaled it through hair color! They unfolded it piece by piece, in a deliberate, escalating spiral from which there ultimately was no last-minute escape.

And then we get to season three, and two seasons of careful character building immediately becomes meaningless. Season three's Nate is a different person. This entire season is taking place in an alternate universe. And there's no reason they had to do that, because they had an entire twelve-episode season of increasingly long episodes in which to slowly but surely make Nate a better person! Time for him to learn a series of important lessons that tie into past behavior; time for him to slowly reconcile with his father; time for him to grow without erasing the person he had always been. Time to build him up into a better version of himself.

Instead, this is what we have. And even then, some of the most important parts of the story of Nate's redemption have happened off-screen. Nate quitting off-screen last week was truly shocking; the team discussing Nate's situation, deciding to forgive him, and voting on whether or not to invite him back – that happening off-screen is unforgivable. The West Ham storyline has, thus far, mattered so little to this season that maybe (.......maybe) we can say that severing ties with Rupert wasn't a key part of his journey, even though that's absurd, but Nate's return to Richmond is everything. That's the whole ballgame. 

For Colin to be part of the welcoming committee is truly fucking egregious. Even this very season, Colin is still repeating his affirmation from therapy as he actively works on building up his self-confidence – something Nate deliberately tried to destroy. At no point did I imagine that a one-on-one with Colin wasn't going to be part of Nate's apology tour. But now – one sprig of lavender for Will, and that's all it takes? Nate's treatment of Colin isn't going to be addressed at all? 

This is the same team that collected red cards like candy against West Ham after Roy and Beard showed them the video of Nate ripping up the "believe" sign. Remember the power walk of fury past Nate to open the second half of that game? Why do they now suddenly want him back? Because they heard he was working in a restaurant and felt sorry for him? Because they heard he apologized to Will and decided that was enough? At this point, I genuinely think the writers didn't know how that conversation would go, so they skipped over it. If you aren't sure how to get the team back on Nate's side, just have it happen off-screen; then it doesn't matter how it happened, only that it did. If you only tell and never show, you can make anything happen without having to get from A to B. 

All of this mess, all of this time, and we don't get to be in the room as the team reaches some kind of closure on everything Nate did.

4. "Richmond have won fifteen matches in a row. With two games left, you're just four points off Manchester City for the Premier League title."

Thanks for expositing all of that, Reporter Guy. If it weren't for the occasional infodump, we'd never know what was going on in the team's season! Exposition Characters, you're the true heroes.

5. "That goal is a lie. It should be retracted from the record. I apologize to everyone, especially the kids."

If they had kept to this kind of funny-but-alarming tone without going too overboard on it, Jamie's pre-Manchester depressive episode would've been a lot more effective.

I know this show can handle depression, anxiety, and parent-induced stress in a thoughtful way and balance that with tonally appropriate comedy, but can it do that … anymore?

6. Ted's ever-increasing mom stress

To that end: the way they built up Ted being so put out his mother was in town, I thought for sure we were going to find out he had been dodging her calls about something (was Michelle getting married after all?) and this would reveal whatever it was to the audience. 

I think – I think – that the actual intended effect here is to underscore that Ted ran an entire continent away from his problems and all of his unprocessed trauma, and having all of that catch up to him without warning triggered a stress cascade resulting in the meltdown we'll get at the end. But if that's the intention, what this episode really underscores is that they simply do not know how to handle this sort of storyline anymore. Dottie Lasso is lovely and entertaining and you definitely can look at her and see where Ted comes from, but the Ted parts of this story are about as nuanced as a sledgehammer on concrete.

7. "Trent, your hair is fabulous. It really is. It's just stylin'."

I never thought that Trent would actually meet Ted's mother in the show. I can't wait to see what fic writers do with this. (Please don't get discouraged by however the show ends and walk away, fic writers! We need you now, tonight. We need you more than ever.)

8. Van Damme's mask

This is officially more follow-up on a previous episode's subplot than we have had about almost any other subplot this entire season, and it's about one of the most disposable stories they've told.

9. OT3 Watch: "Shouting is Roy's love language."

Does Trent ship it? One of us, one of us.

10. OT3 Watch: Jamie crying on Roy

There's a lot about this scene I loved, so let's take a break for positivity! That sounds nice, doesn't it?

Jamie bursting into tears and then, when asked what's wrong, saying, "I don't know, I don't know, I don't know": intensely relatable. He's already in tears as he walks into the boot room, just barely holding it in, and the second Roy pushes him to toughen up (in general), he loses it, because of course he does: he's dreading another trauma at the hands of his abusive dad, in the hometown that hates him. It makes perfect sense for Jamie to be having a serious depressive episode, and it is entirely in character for him to describe that as "I don't use any conditioner anymore, because what's the fucking point."

This is one thing this season has done well, with patience and consistency: it's believable for Jamie to break down crying on Roy because they put the time in to get these two to that point. Last season, it was a big fucking deal when Roy hugged Jamie. This season, if Jamie is going to cry on anyone, of course it's going to be Roy.

That said: I think it was a mistake to go quite so hard on playing this for laughs. Depression and trauma absolutely can be mined for comedy. "Do you think a depressed person could make this?" works because it's still Ben Wyatt, it's just Depressed Ben Wyatt. Jamie smushing Roy's face around as Phil Dunster gives it his absolute best comedy wailing sob doesn't … feel like Jamie? It just feels like comedy. If the moment isn't organic to the character, probably it needed a rewrite.

"It probably needed a rewrite," the Ted Lasso season three story. – Then again, I wonder all the time how much of this season's problems are due to the infamous production-halting Jason Sudeikis rewrites, so … maybe not? Maybe this season needed fewer rewrites and more Bill Lawrence? Who can say.

("Will, you missed a good one" is a great closing note for the series-long gag of overheard emotional scenes in the boot room. If they do another one in the finale, they'll have overshot it.)

11. "Hey, Roy, would it bother you if we brought Nate back?" / "No, I don't give a fuck."

At this point, I briefly stopped watching. 

I went back to 2.12 to see if Roy knows that Nate was the source for the panic attack story: as of that episode, as far as I can tell, he doesn't. 

I went to 3.04 to see if there was any indication during the West Ham episode that Roy had figured it out by then, but that episode focuses on the "believe" sign, which everyone but Ted seems to be finding out about for the first time.

Roy doesn't know that Nate actively tried to ruin Ted. (Does it make any sense for Roy to not have done the math when he was in the room when Ted opened up to the coaches about his panic attacks? Probably not, but that appears to be the canon.) He does know what Nate was like, particularly toward the end; he knows that Nate abandoned ship for West Ham; he knows that Nate ripped the sign, and he used that to turn the entire team against Nate for the West Ham game; and perhaps most importantly, Roy is not especially known as an easygoing, forgiving guy.

This is a man who carried a devastating news clipping around in his wallet for his entire career and beyond. A guy who couldn't hug Jamie in celebration until he headbutted him to make them even. This is Roy Kent, who is known even by people who don't watch this show as the one with the anger issues.

And he's just – fine? To bring Nate back? He holds no grudges? Roy Kent? We're really going to have Roy Kent as the voice of "yeah, whatever, I don't care" while Beard is left to fume alone?

12. "If you bring that Judas back, I will burn this place to the fucking ground."

Once again, Beard is the only one who's seen season two. And yet, this is being set up as a conflict that Beard has to set aside. 

Has Nate apologized to Ted at this point? No. Was Nate an increasingly toxic presence in the locker room last season? Yes. Do they have any knowledge of his coaching style at West Ham that we're aware of that would suggest that he's had a major personality change? No. Are they currently on a fifteen-game winning streak without Nate? Yes. Are there only two games left in the season? Yes. 

Is there any reason to bring Nate back at this point? No. And Beard, who has been the only one all season long who has retained any emotional awareness of past events, is only allowed to have that awareness so that it can be used as a justifying force for Nate's return.

I support you, Beard. This is all some bullshit. You should be allowed to be pissed about it. 

13. Nora!

Is Rebecca's aside about Nora telling her to stop using her private jet the closest we're going to get to a Nora appearance this season? There's still time for her to pop up in the finale, but that seems unlikely.

14. OT3 Watch: Keeley checking in on Jamie

I was on the fence about whether or not they were going too hard on humor with Jamie's depression until "a suitcase is a drawer without a home … wahh." This is the best they could do for depression comedy? This is a comedy series that did an entire season about depression!! Phil Dunster really is doing his best in this episode, but not even he could elevate that line.

I do like the general concept of Roy going to Keeley for help with Jamie, only for Keeley to make it all worse. Roy being better at comforting Jamie is conceptually very funny. Writing dialogue that does justice to a story outline is tricky, isn't it? Mm.

15. Sam and Rebecca???

Are they doing this, or are they just going to tease it every single episode? Are Sam and Rebecca endgame? Surely not, right. If it were endgame, wouldn't we have gotten into the meat of it a lot sooner than … the finale?

If you know a Tedbecca shipper, maybe give them a warm cookie this week, because this episode did not move that anywhere promising.

(My money is still on Houseboat Guy popping up out of nowhere.)

16. OT3 Watch: Jamie and Keeley follow Jamie home

If this is the first time Keeley is meeting Jamie's mom, that means – he never took her home when they were dating?

Roy staring in absolute slack-jawed shock at Jamie and his mom cuddling on the couch is me. Roy is me. Setting aside for a moment just how much is going on there, I never would have guessed that Jamie had a relationship like this with a mom who was still in the picture. 

In 1.06, Jamie talks about how his mom got him into football and supported him but probably wouldn't be proud of him lately; in 3.06, we hear about a trip they took to Amsterdam when he was a teenager. Is that … it? Have there been other references to his mom? In 2.08, when Richmond plays Manchester City, there is a lot about his dad but no reference to his mom that I remember. The show is so laser-focused on Jamie's dad that I assumed his mother, whether dead or estranged or somehow unwell, wasn't an active force in his life in the present day.

This is a show about dads. They've told us that in interviews all along. Ted's dad, Nate's dad, Jamie's dad, Sam's dad, Rebecca's dad, even a whiff of Trent's dad; Ted's relationship with his son, even Phoebe's relationship with her Uncle Roy. We see Nate's mom, but that is almost entirely about Nate's relationship with his dad. The only characters who get to have meaningful ongoing not-about-dads onscreen relationships with their mothers are Rebecca and Nora, which is … weirdly gendered?

But now, with the curtain about to drop on this show, they're doing a Mom Episode. We get two moms we've never met before dropped on us in one hour. We know almost nothing about these moms, because they've never been made central to the story in a way everyone's dads have been; and here, in an episode titled "Mom City," their stories are still mostly about each character's relationship with his dad. 

Even so, those stories need to fit into what we know about Ted and Jamie. "I love meeting people's moms. It's like reading an instruction manual as to why they're nuts," right? Ted and Jamie's moms, introduced here at the eleventh hour, should shine a light on things we already know about these characters and make us think, "this explains so much."

Does Jamie's mom actually explain anything we already knew about Jamie? Does it actually make sense for Jamie to have had, all this time, a sweet, supportive mom available for hugs on demand, or does this just create a lot of new questions the show doesn't have time to answer? I don't think Jamie's mom as we meet her (or his future GBBO star baker stepdad) are fully outside the realm of possibility for his character, but we could've had more time to untangle all of this if they had spent as much time on Jamie's mom as they did on his dad. Instead, I'm left with: you're telling me Jamie Tartt isn't actually touch-starved? Jamie Tartt?

You're telling me Jamie's mom watches all of his matches … but has never been to one? Jamie's mom got him into football and drove him to all of his practices, but he's playing right down the street and she's watching from home? Jamie's mom is this important to him, but never met Keeley? Jamie's mom is this important to him, and we've only ever heard about her as the reverse side of a story about Jamie's dad? There are some drop-ins you just can't make in the eleventh hour.

Also: what is going on here? I'm with Roy. Wow. Wow.

17. Jade really hates working with her boyfriend

Is this really just a way to get Nate back to Richmond? Yes. Is it nonetheless completely valid for Jade to not want to have to hear about Nate's salty nuts scheme after work hours? Also yes. You might be a girlfriend ex machina, but you are nonetheless valid, Jade.

18. OT3 Watch: Jamie's posters

*chinhands* So are they, like … are they doing this on purpose, or … no, they have to be doing it on purpose, right? Right?? Maybe it won't ever go any further than this, because even now I have a hard time imagining an OT3 becoming canon, but they are surely at least tipping their hat to it. 

19: OT3 Watch: walking off arm-in-arm

Surely they aren't going to make it canon.

20. Pep????

They actually brought on Pep Guardiola for a Ted Lasso cameo? In an episode about Manchester City leading the title race, airing in the same week City won the title irl? I'm legit impressed.

21. Jamie's injury drama

This is honestly the dumbest way to generate in-game drama. Jamie goes out on injury and Ted's coaching masterstroke is to act like they've just lost a player to a red card and now have to defend a one goal lead with ten men? Just in case the training staff can shoot Jamie up with enough painkillers to let him finish the game on an injury he couldn't walk on? 

I know Jamie is their star striker and all, but did Sam, Dani, and Colin suddenly lose their scoring abilities when Jamie hurt his ankle? We just had a major subplot last week about what a heater Sam has been on – did that suddenly disappear? Does this team have no ability to adjust to the loss of a player? They've won fifteen straight games!! In real life, that would be one of the longest win streaks in Premier League history! No team becomes that successful without quality substitutes. Just get someone on the pitch, before Manchester fucking City takes advantage of being a man up and gets the equalizer we're told they've been on the verge of for the entire second half.

Why. This is Ted Lasso, why am I getting hung up on its football strategy? This isn't about strategy, it's about Ted and Jamie. Nothing matters except the conversation they're about to have on the sideline. Everything else happens exclusively to allow that conversation to happen. The football is just set dressing. None of this matters.

It's just so dumb, though. God.

22. Jade hates working with her boyfriend so much

Truly next level of her to blackmail her boss to get Nate fired so she can have some peace in the workplace. Does she only exist in this show to advance Nate's storyline? Yes. Is she doing this to be a Good Girlfriend? Yes. Can I ignore both of those things and pretend this is just a badass move by someone who does not care to mix her relationship and her job? Also yes.

23. Ted Lasso and forgiveness

This season's insistence on total forgiveness – that the past is the past, that holding a grudge is a moral failing or a poison of the soul – is one of its biggest flaws. Everything needs to be tied up just so. Characters can't truly grow unless they let go of whatever anger they're holding onto. In the end, everything must come around to wholesomeness and healing. As the show nears its end, it is doing everything it possibly can to wash all slates clean. 

(Except, possibly, with Rupert. We'll see.)

In a void, Ted's mini-speech to Jamie about how he should forgive his dad so that he himself can heal might be – not something I would at all agree with, but fine, in that I don't have to always agree with characters on television shows and Ted is clearly doing some projecting here re: his situation with his mom. But in this broader context of what's going on with Nate, on the sideline of a game, it just feels … forced, and kind of gross. FORGIVE YOUR DAD SO YOU CAN KICK FOOTBALL. FORGIVENESS FIXES EVERYTHING. Okay, Ted Lasso. Okay.

Remember when Dr. Sharon said, "I think you [still hate your father] too, Ted, and that's okay," and they talked about the things Ted both hated and loved about his father, because it was okay for him to hold both of those things inside him at once? Where has that gone?

24. Manchester Loves Jamie

I'm not going to ask what the point of putting Jamie back on for one minute and then substituting him straight off was – do they truly have no one else who could have put them up by two? – because honestly, the City fan ovation was so unbelievable that football strategy pales in comparison. They spent an entire game booing and shit-talking him in the stands, and then he scores a goal on a wobbly foot and they suddenly realize he's Good, Actually and cheer him off? In a game that could decide the league title?

Manchester City could have won the league title right here in this game if Jamie hadn't scored that goal and the City fans cheer him off? In what universe. In what version of reality. Were there no even vaguely believable feel-good moments they could engineer for this game???

25. OT3 Watch: Roy whispering sweet nothings

They aren't going to make it canon, right??

26. Jamie's dad in rehab

This is one of the only "thing we heard nothing about and then suddenly it happens" moments where it makes sense for no one to know what's going on. It's positive growth for a shit character that I can actually get behind and believe in.

Jamie's dad is here doing the work and trying to get better. Instead of having it as an extremely brief reveal in the penultimate episode of the series, imagine if they had done this earlier and shown his dad getting out of rehab, and spent some time on Jamie deciding whether or not to forgive his dad now that his dad is sober. Emphasize the hard parts. Show them building a new relationship as different people. That would be so much more in keeping with the actual themes of this show than the magical thinking this season has engaged in.

27. Pep??????

"Don't worry about wins and losses, just help these guys be the best versions of themselves" from Pep Guardiola is THE MOST TED LASSO version of Pep Guardiola I can imagine. I cackled out loud. I threw back my head and laughed like a woman eating a salad. A+ comedy, intentional or otherwise.

28. Nate hiding under the desk

Why? Why. I mean, I get why – this humanizes everything Nate did in 2.12 and makes him seem like a pathetic guy who can't even ruin a sign right, and retcons some of the most potent parts of Nate's season two arc to make us feel empathy for him where we might not previously have; I had this issue with the rolling chair pratfall video earlier in the season, too – but it just exhausts me. They couldn't spend the time redeeming him organically, so they're rewriting what's already happened to make it seem less bad.

Going back to Ted's funeral therapy session with Dr. Sharon: remember how Ted had this deep, terrible fear of losing someone he loved because he didn't do enough to make them feel their worth, and Nate unknowingly cracked that wide open when he accused Ted of "abandoning" him? Remember how Nate could only feel important if he was the most important person in the room, so being one part of a team felt like rejection – and Nate at the absolute bottom of his spiral, having already tried to ruin Ted's life in the press, tore at him with every emotional weapon he had on hand?

Now we're going to reframe all of that as, "ahhhh, this little guy, can't even do a harm to a desk chair, look at him hide from cleaners, so sad, someone rescue him from restaurant!!"

I'm so ready for this show to end. It'll be easier to pick and choose the parts I want to hang onto once canon is closed.

29. OT3 Watch: champagne

But they aren't going to make it canon, right?????????

Honestly, get someone who looks at you the way Roy looks at Jamie here. Just incredible.

If this is the most OT3 we ever get, it'll be enough.

30. Beard's backstory

Let's pause here a moment.

As a coping mechanism for whatever the show was going to throw at me in this episode, I made myself a bingo card. Every time I got a square, I won a tiny piece of chocolate. I made some of the squares obvious hits, some of them decent possibilities, and some were wild swings at things I knew would never happen.

Earlier in this episode, I hesitated over giving myself the "Beard Backstory" square for Beard and Dottie having nicknames for each other, wondering if that qualified as our Beard backstory for the episode. And then … Beard showed up at Nate's door.

In that moment, I truly felt I had cursed myself with this bingo card. Don't invite possibilities you aren't willing to see play out on-screen, I think is the lesson here?

"Just like in Les Mis." – Nate, and all of us

I really don't know how to feel about this Beard backstory. In theory, I have no issue with Beard having a backstory about being incarcerated for meth and Ted helping him out afterward, but in practice, I'm not sure it makes any sense whatsoever. Beard has a record that no one knows about? He's been an assistant coach in the Premier League for three seasons and it's never popped up in the Daily Mail that he was in prison on a drug conviction? I know in the real world Ted wouldn't be allowed to coach Richmond to begin with, but just how far into fantasyland are we?

(I also have some questions about the "and then I stole his car" twist. What exactly are the writers trying to say here about people freshly out of prison? He had a difficult re-entry, totally understood; he found a place to land, and immediately turned back to crime? Should they maybe have spent a little more time unpacking this story before they made it canon?)

All of that aside, I'm not sure I really wanted a Beard backstory. For the entire run of this show to date, Beard has been something of a Ted-adjacent cryptid with a very clear personality but relatively opaque motivations, whose history we've learned about through wildly random drop-ins that always raise more questions than they answer. He's a guy who roams the city at night and collects subcultures like stamps. He's in an eternally tortured relationship with a manic pixie nightmare girl who somehow suits him perfectly. His devotion to Ted has never, ever been in doubt. 

I just don't think it actually rounds out the character of Beard to know exactly where he's coming from and why he's with Ted. The mystery is part of the character. Introducing an in-depth backstory in the penultimate episode of the entire show feels … kind of cheap? I would completely understand if other people felt it was long overdue and are happy to get it before the end, but to me, pulling back the curtain feels like a misunderstanding of what makes Beard a great character. We don't need to see the man behind the curtain. Being able to wildly speculate about what makes Beard Beard is a big part of his appeal. 

And to drop this in as a plot mechanism for bringing Nate back into the fold – to make this significant change to a major character as a shortcut on Nate's mismanaged path to redemption – I'm just so tired.

This whole thing where Ted emotionally manipulated Beard into forgiving Nate by invoking Ted's own past assistance to Beard – I'm not sure that comes across the way they think it does. Ted wants everyone around him to forgive Nate and the only one who isn't willing to do it is Beard, so Ted forces the issue by hitting Beard where it hurts to get Beard to project his own past trauma onto Nate's situation. Does Ted really think that Beard stealing his car is equivalent to Nate putting his mental health history on the front page of every newspaper in London? Even if he does, why does he think it's fair to Beard to pull out Beard's trauma like a trump card? 

31. Fuck you, Mom!!

What was Ted's relationship with his mother back home, that she comes to visit him in London and within 48 hours, everything he's been holding onto for years comes boiling out of him in a series of F-bombs borrowed from Jamie Tartt? What was their dynamic like in Kansas, that the minute she shows up his shoulders go up around his ears and he can't handle anyone he cares about liking her at all?

Is this happening now because Ted unlocked all of this in therapy? Is it happening now because he's been away from her for so long? Was he not visiting her on those trips to Kansas? Is it the change in setting – having her in London, in his space, meeting his people?

This whole "thank you / fuck you" speech feels overcooked at best, well-acted as it is, and it veers into some really incoherent areas. When Ted tapped his chest, I thought, "oh god, is he impotent in his soul?" Honestly, that would have made more sense than Ted saying he's afraid to get close to his son because "I know he's going to leave."

Yes, Ted is afraid of losing people, but we know because Ted has said so in therapy that his response to that fear is to pull people closer in. To try to make people feel wanted, feel valued, feel good about themselves.

In Ted and Henry's relationship, if Ted has projected his dad onto anyone, it's been himself. If there is a monster under the bed here, it is Ted's fear of turning into his dad, of having the potential for that inside him. That line would have made 110% more sense if it had been, "I'm afraid I'm going to leave," even if we would have had a lot more to unpack on-screen at that point. As it is, it's just – kind of nonsense?

Did they feel like they had to pull out some extra motivation for Ted having been in London all of this time? They didn't. The degree to which they are trying way too hard in some areas and not at all in others sure is something.

32. I've read this fic

Rebecca and Bex? Yeah, I've definitely read this fic. That "Bex divorces Rupert and takes West Ham" square on my bingo card is going to reappear next week.

33. "Do you know what time it is?"

"It's the time of the season when we do X" is a little too much meta self-awareness for me, and the "I'm going to invoke truth bombs as a concept but I don't actually have one" is clunky execution to set up Ted's cliffhanger line, but the staging: flawless. In seasons one and two, Rebecca comes into Ted's office and stands on the left of the frame, facing right. In season three, Ted is the one who comes into the office and stands on the left, reversing their positions both physically and narratively. That kind of attention to detail is A+. 

(I wish they gave that much attention to the plot, but I'll take it where I can get it.)

What's next?

One more episode left to cram in everything they could possibly want to do with this show! We're on a real run here of episodes that cram in abrupt resolutions to ongoing stories while also dropping in a ton of new elements we don't have time to explore, and I wouldn't expect the finale to be all that different.

- Before 3.11, I thought the chances of Ted going back to Kansas were 85% for, 15% against. Now … I think it might actually be closer to 75% for, 25% against?

This episode pushed so hard on sending Ted back to Kansas, and we're being set up in that cliffhanger for him telling Rebecca he's quitting after the season ends, and – there's still an entire finale to go. Will the episode just be one long goodbye, or will there be some last-minute twist to keep him in London? I think the chances of him staying in London are actually slightly better now that the "I'm going back to Kansas" twist isn't being held for the end. Still pretty unlikely, though.

I say again: if he goes back to Kansas, fine, we can fix that in post. If he goes back to Michelle, I'm turning this car around.

- Every social media feed I have has been frantic with speculation as to whether or not they're going to make the OT3 canon in the finale. My money is on Not Canon – I think a wink and a nod at it is as much as they're going to do – but I'll be happy with anything that isn't a flash-forward in which Jamie has a girlfriend. Just let us walk off arm-in-arm-in-arm with room to speculate, show.

- So Nate goes back to Richmond, Ted leaves, and Nate becomes head coach, right? Just like we could pretty easily guess was going to happen before this season even started? There's still a chance of a surprise shake-up there, but I'd put it at, like … 5%. A 5% chance of this not going in the most predictable possible direction.

- If Ted leaves, does Beard stay or does he go? He stays, right? If they try to convince us that Jane is dying to move to Kansas, I'll have to Eternal Sunshine the entire finale from my memory banks.

- I am very much hoping for a thoughtful farewell with the pub trio. They've earned it.

- It's West Ham they're going to be playing in the last game, right? If Nate's West Ham storyline is going to have any meaning, he has to go up against his old team with his old old team in the last game of the season while Rupert's drama plays out in close-up.

There should also be some simultaneous game drama happening with Manchester City. They were four points down before this game, so on the final day of league play, they'll be one point down. If City wins, they win the title. If City draws or loses and Richmond wins, Richmond wins the title. If City loses and Richmond draws, then … actually, there could be interesting last-minute drama if they're trying to break through on goal differential, but I don't think the show would go that far into technicalities. Richmond has to win, right? They aren't going to send the show off on anything less.

Five days until we're free!