#technically??? I guess????

[zeke-the-nighthawk]

Through The Eyes of Shermie Pines

Or my Shermie Pines fic that was cross posted on ao3 :)

1950

***

Shermie was five years old when her little brothers were born

They were twins. Two boys. Identical

Well, except for their fingers

One of the twins had polydactyl, which meant he had an extra sixth finger on each hand. But that didn’t matter, Shermie still loved her little brother. No matter how many fingers he had

”Shermaine,” Her mother called. She resisted the urge to wrinkle her nose in disgust

She never liked her name; it was too fancy and had too many vowels. She liked her liked her nickname better, Shermie. It had a nice ring to it

”Shermaine,” Her mother called again “would you like to hold them?”

Shermie nodded and the two of them were placed in her outstretched arms

”Careful,” Her mother said, adjusting her arms so she could hold them right “you wouldn’t want to drop them would ya?”

Shermie stared at them in awe, they were so tiny

One of the babies was screaming his head off while the other stared up at her with wide brown eyes

As she looked at them, Shermie made a promise

A promise that she would protect them, no matter how hard things got, they would always be safe. She’d make sure of it

”What are their names?” She asked her mother; she didn’t want to have to keep calling them “the twins.” They needed names so she could give them nicknames. Just like hers

”Stanley,” Her mother said, pointing to the screaming baby “and Stanford” She pointed to the one with six fingers

Shermie couldn’t help but giggle. Heh. Two Stans

***

1957

***

Shermie was twelve years old when he realized he might be a boy

He knew it was wrong. People didn’t just change their gender whenever they wanted!

Or… did they? He didn’t know, but he knew his father wouldn’t be impressed

His father, Filbrick Pines, was never impressed by anything or anyone. It’d take a lot to impress him

This wasn’t something that would

He always knew he was less feminine than the other girls in his class. His mother would always recall the times when he was a baby and he kicked and screamed whenever she tried to dress him up in a skirt or dress

He remembers the day clearly too

He remembers his brothers being confused on the matter, being only seven, but still being happy they had a big brother

He remembers telling his parents, his mother saying she always had a hunch and his father simply humming in acknowledgment

He remembers running straight to the bathroom, grabbing scissors, and chopping off his hair till it only reached his ears

He remembered how happy he felt looking in the mirror at his reflection

He wasn’t Shermaine Pines anymore

He was Sherman Pines, now and forever

***

1962

***

Shermie was seventeen years old when his brothers claimed to see The Jersey Devil

He didn’t believe them of course but he still played along with their story, giving over exaggerated reactions to their story

They had a wild imagination those two, having dreams of getting out of Glass Shard Beach, New Jersey and sailing the world looking for treasure and babes

He had similar dreams as well, but instead of traveling the world, he wanted to travel through space

Space was always such an interesting concept to him, a vast expanse full of planets, stars and galaxies

It was beautiful, and Shermie planned that when he was eighteen, he was gonna get the hell out of New Jersey and become an astronaut

The Pines brothers had dreams

Dreams of leaving New Jersey and never coming back

Dreams of changing the world and making a name for themselves

Whether these dreams came true or not, we may never know

***

1968

***

Shermie was twenty-three years old when he returned home from Vietnam

So, he didn’t become an astronaut like he planned, but he did serve his country and (hopefully) made his family proud

He couldn’t wait couldn’t wait to see his Ma and Pa again but was mainly excited to see his brothers and newborn son, Henry

He had Henry a couple weeks before he returned to Vietnam and he knew his mother had been working tirelessly to keep the baby healthy, so he’d make sure to thank her

He limped up the front steps and leaned against the door frame. He lost his leg during battle and he had to use a prosthetic. It took some getting used to but he thinks he has the hang of it now

When he opened the door, he didn’t expect to see only one brother standing beside his parents

Only one? Where was Stanley?

“Where’s Stanley?” he asked, eyeing all the individuals in the room

His mother and Stanford averted their eyes away from him, looking nervous

His father however, gruffly replied ���He doesn’t live here anymore”

Doesn’t live here anymore? Had Stanley finally decided to move out?

And if so, why before graduation? Why didn’t he take Stanford? Weren’t they supposed to sail the world together?

”What happened?” he asked

There were a million questions running through his head

His father replied once again, this time with more frustration in his voice

“He sabotaged our chances of getting out of this dump. Stanford here,” He placed a hand on Stanfords shoulder

Shermie didn’t miss the way he flinched

His father continued “Was going to go on and make something of himself but that knucklehead Stanley had to go and ruin it. So I kicked him out. He can’t come back until he’s proven himself”

Shermie felt his blood boil

As he got older he started to despise his father and the way he would treat Stanley, constantly belittling him and comparing him to Stanford

It was clear all Filbrick Pines cared about was the money

”Ma, Stanford,” he called calmly “can you leave the room for a second? I need to have a little chat with Pa”

They listened and promptly left the room, Stanfords head laying low on his shoulders

The “chat” ended up being a twenty-minute screaming match between the two of them. Shermie knew his father was an unkind man, but this was too far. Stanley was still only a child

Shermie barely survived his five years out on the battlefield

Stanley wouldn’t last two months

In the end, Shermie packed his and Henry’s bags, kissed his mother on the cheek, and waved Stanford goodbye

He placed Henry in his car seat as he moved to sit in the front. He started up the car and drove out of New Jersey, not looking back

A year later, Stanford would move out and go to college

All the Pines brothers had left New Jersey, even if it wasn’t for the reasons they hoped, never to return

***

1982

***

Shermie was thirty-seven years old when his little brother died in a fatal car accident

Shermie hadn’t seen Stanley in a little over ten years and the next time he hears about him it’s to attend his funeral

He held his mother close as she sobbed into his shoulder, his father not even bothering to show up. Shermie didn’t care, he didn’t want to see his face again anyway

His son wasn’t with him unfortunately, it wasn’t because he was too young to understand the concept of death. No, it was because he wouldn’t understand the loss the people around him are experiencing

He never knew his uncle Stanley, only through stories. So, he was currently being watched over by a babysitter

Shermie scanned the crowd for his other brother Stanford. After looking around for a while he eventually found him standing in front of Stanley’s grave

His heart hurt just looking at the sight

That was his twin brother who he just lost, quite literally losing a piece of himself

Shermie couldn’t help but notice that Stanford looked a little different, but then again, he hadn’t seen Stanford in a long time either

Who knows, maybe at some point he decided to get a mullet

***

1999

***

Shermie was fifty-four years old when he became a grandfather

He was also fifty-four years old when he realized his deceased brother might not be deceased after all

The twins’ birth had definitely been a hectic day

Starting off, his grandson Mason had the umbilical cord wrapped around his neck, so they made sure to cut the cord off as soon as possible. Luckily, he survived

Secondly, Shermie almost cried when the twins were placed in his arms

They looked so much like his brothers it hurt

What made it worse was that Mason was born with a strange birthmark in the shape of the Big Dipper on his forehead, just like how Stanford had been born with six fingers

Speaking of Stanford, Shermie was starting to suspect he was in fact not Stanford

When Stanford had showed up and gotten to hold the twins he wouldn’t let them go, which Shermie completely understood

Stanford having lost his twin and now there’s a new pair of twins in the family

Shermie could only imagine how he felt

But what confused him the most was Stanford’s hands

While Stanley and Stanford had been identical, it was easy to tell them apart due to their hands. So, when Shermie had gone to retrieve the twins to return them to their mother, he couldn’t help but notice Stanford’s hands— or rather, Stanley’s hands

He had five fingers on each hand and there was no scar indicating that one of his fingers was amputated

Shermie desperately wanted to ask just what exactly was going on, but Stanford (Stanley?) just wouldn’t let the twins go. Shermie had to practically fight him just to get him to hand them over and by the time they were back in their mother’s arms, he had already forgotten that he was going to ask Stanford about his hands

But the real question was, if this was Stanley, then where’s Stanford?

***

2013

***

Shermie was sixty-eight years old when he went with his granddaughters to visit Gravity Falls, Oregon for the summer

They had spent the summer there last year and had apparently loved it so much they begged their father to go this year

He hadn’t been to Gravity Falls up until this point, he knew it was where Stanford lived but he never actually took the time to visit

It was a nice little town surrounded by woods on all sides, a couple of small buildings and houses and whatnot as well. It was apparently so small that everyone in the town knew the twins, including the mayor!

It was a nice quiet walk up to Stanford’s place; the silence being being broken by the occasional greeting from the townsfolk

Eventually, they arrived at Stanford’s place, the “Mystery Shack.” Stanford had (for some unknown reason) transformed his house into a tourist trap sometime after Stanley died, selling fake oddities to unsuspecting tourists. According to his granddaughter Mabel, Stanford had passed down the deed to one of his old employees Soos, so he now ownership of the shack

They hadn’t even made it up the steps before the door swung open and he was face to face with Stanford. Stanford seemed to stiffen under his gaze, “Sherm-“ he was cut off as the twins came barreling towards him with a simultaneous shout of “Grunkle Stan!” and wrapped their arms around his middle

Stanford averted his eyes away from his older brother as he grinned down at the twins, “Hey there you little hooligans!” He ruffled their hair as they both protested

Shermie was about to greet his brother when another voice spoke up from behind Stanford

”Stanley are they here? You said that we would both greet them toge-“ The figure stopped in their tracks

It… was Stanford. The real Stanford. The one that had gone off to college and gotten 12 PhDs. The Stanford with six fingers. The Stanford… he hadn’t seen in a little over forty years

Stanley noticed his gaze and rubbed the back of his neck “Uh, surprise?” He said, giving a half-assed version of jazz hands

Shermie transferred his gaze to him, arms crossed “You two have some explaining to do”

They both winced “Just… why don’t you come inside? We’ll explain everything” Stanford said, leading him inside the shack

The inside was pretty decent, save for the (obviously fake) oddities covering every corner. A six-packalope? How did Stanley come up with this stuff?

Once they were inside the living room they took a seat. Shermie sitting on the couch with Dipper and Mabel on both sides of him while Stanley sat in the recliner with Stanford standing beside him

The air was tense as the three men stared at each other, waiting for someone to speak

Finally, someone did. Dipper cleared her throat awkwardly “Um, me and Mabel are gonna go unpack our stuff in the attic. Is that alright?”

Stanley waved her off “Yeah yeah the sooner you get to it the better” He grumbled, never taking his eyes off Shermie

The two twins nodded as they bolted out of the living room and up the stairs, bags in tow

It was silent once again until Shermie spoke up quietly “If one of you isn’t gonna explain what’s going on I’m getting in my car, going back to California and forgetting this ever happened”

Stanley instantly spoke up “Shermie wait! Just…” He looked towards Stanford “We’ll… we’ll explain everything”

And explain everything they did. Quite literally starting from the beginning in 1962 to Stanley getting kicked out in 1968. Then they eventually got to Stanley’s “business” and Stanford’s time in college

Then… they hit 1982 and that’s where the air got tense. The two of them having a big fight that eventually led to Stanford being trapped out of our dimension for 30 years, Stanley stealing his identity and faking his death

Then they talked the summer of last year and that’s when Shermie finally felt the urge to stop them from talking. His granddaughters had been through so much but were still able to make more friends than they ever did in Piedmont, no wonder they wanted to come back so badly. Still Shermie let them finish

When they were done it was silent. Stanley and Stanford afraid of what their older brother might say in response to all this. Shermie still taking the time to process everything

Stanford opened his mouth to say something but was cut off when Shermie came barreling towards the two of them as he took them in his arms

”I’m so sorry,” Shermie whispered into their shoulders “I promised to protect you and I couldn’t even do that”

Stanley returned the hug and Stanford soon followed “Shit Sherm…” Stanley mumbled quietly “If it’s anyone’s fault it’s ours, don’t blame yourself for it”

“But it is!” Shermie protested “I should’ve been for you guys but I wasn’t! I feel horrible”

”Well, you can be here for us now,” Stanford said “it’s not to late”

Shermie nodded into their shoulders “Yeah.. yeah I like that”

From the stairs, Dipper and Mabel watched with a soft smile as the brothers all embraced, happy to see them together again

The Pines brothers are finally all together again. For now, and forever

[aluminumneedles]

I'm knitting in the corner at a party

and guys my age stop by to tell me I remind them of their aunt, of their grandmother. This is a compliment and I take it as such. They confess to having tried crochet once, and I smile. They get back in line for the bathroom.

I'm knitting in the corner at a party and a queer woman sits on the floor next to me, arranges her skirt, and smiles up at me. (I try not to blush.) She asks me all the questions on her mind about my craft and I answer them, hands still moving. We swap yarn sources. She doesn't stay, but she knows where to find me.

I'm knitting in the corner at a party and everyone knows where to find me when they need a minute, when socializing is too much and the music is too loud and they need to catch their breath. They pretend to be checking in on me, which is sweet, but I can see the relief in their eyes the moment they stop performing for a house full of people. They sit down and tell me things and all the while they never take their eyes off my hands.

The party has wound down and I'm still knitting and the hosts, two guys in their twenties, thank me for "helping to curate the vibe." I had no idea that's what I was doing. I leave the party having forgotten to drink anything and without that woman's number but with many rows added to my top-down raglan sweater. I call it a night, and a good one.

[luftballons99]

there was only one bed

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

[eggsistential-breakdown]

Curly should've killed J*mmy this, Swansea should have killed J*mmy that,

Anya should have gotten to Brokenstar his ass

Bonuses:

Jackshit mouthwashing first human in the dark forest (warrior cat hell)

Edit: part 2 jotulism gets mauled by wcwiwc (warrior cat women in war crimes) in warrior cat hell

[rebelsafoot]

lestats turn for an interview

[gibbearish]

just saw on the hbomb subreddit that james somerton briefly reactivated his twitter and changed the name to agayraconteur, then 8 hrs later deleted it again because people were noticing, so. everyone who went all in on "he'll keep popping up again and again in new forms" cash your bets in now LMAO

edit: hey yall this post is very out of date but has been getting spikes of notes since the second apology video so i'm gonna be marking it unrebloggable

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Being someone who read Under The Red Hood and came out with the firm belief that, for Jason, it's not about killing Joker, it's about Jason wanting proof Batman would choose him over the Joker (bc shelia chose the joker). Makes seeing any other media where it's all about just wanting the Joker dead is a teeny bit frustrating. to be honest

Jason could've killed the Joker himself, really, really easily. Jason kidnaps the Joker before the confrontation. I can't open my comic for a reference right now, but it felt like he had the Joker for quite a bit before the confrontation. He had him. He beat him up with a crowbar. He had every single opportunity to kill the Joker himself, but he didn't because that wasn't his goal. Make no mistake, he did plan for the Joker to be dead by the end of it, but do you see what im trying to say here

Edit: If I knew this post was gonna get 1000+ notes I would've tried to word it better or something, this was a rant I made on the way to the grocery store 😭

It's not about making Batman kill either. When Batman says he won't kill, Jason adjusts and goes, 'Let ME kill the Joker or kill me to stop me' instead. The test is all about Batman choosing him. The whole final confrontation is Jason's first death again. The parent, The Joker, and the explosives. It even ends with Jason unable to move as a bomb goes off right next to him again because the parent didn't choose Jason. And instead tried finding an option that'd benefit them and (consequencely) letting the Joker walk, again, lol, lmao <-in agony

[cbmagus49]

Hey guess what it's time for a big ol' Relativity screenshot edit sketchdump!!!!

[inkskinned]

we were sitting on the floor and i was cutting out tiny pictures to make a collage for a friend's birthday. you were on your phone and you laughed about something, and i was still in love with you then, so i asked what had you giggling.

"sorry. i was just..." you took a moment and went back to texting. "i was telling someone about how you're afraid of the dark."

i'm afraid of the dark because something bad happened. "oh." i felt a little slinky of shame crawl down my throat.

you glanced up, and maybe it showed on my face, because you rolled your eyes and held the phone to the side casually so i could see the group chat. "what? was it a secret?"

i looked down to the scissors in my hand. "i just..." no, it's not a secret. it just felt like something private, something serious. saying why would you tell someone that just feels like an accusation. it's unfair. i honestly am not even ashamed of it, it's just a fact about my person that i don't usually share.

what a strange experience. is this a human thing or a generational thing? for our grandparents: did they need to worry about how quickly someone can just... share your personal information? again, i didn't even really have a true objection. what could i say? i want any person in my life to feel they can be honest with their friends. it's not like i said don't tell anyone this.

i cut out another letter to complete the rainbow happy birthday, started hunting for the exclamation mark. i heard you sigh dramatically.

"don't make a big deal about this," you said.

this entire conversation was a pattern for us, and this was when we got to my least favorite part of the pattern. i would get my feelings hurt in some oblique not-technically-terrible way, and then it would be making a big deal about something. you'd get frustrated for me for being soft, but i was born soft. you knew i was soft when you pierced me. it's one of the things that made controlling me so easy.

"i'm not," i felt my voice crack. the question came without my wanting. "why are you guys talking about me?" and why are you saying that thing? why not like - i'm telling them how you're generous and kind and pretty.

you let out this low, tragic groan. "oh my god." you tossed the phone away from your body. "there, see? i just won't talk to them if you don't like it."

the rest of the hour went the way it always went, between us: i said i don't actually mind if you talk to your friends but -, you found a way to call my minor expression of discomfort "being dramatic." you got upset that i had been offended. i ended up apologizing, even though i hadn't actually done anything.

afterwards, you picked up the phone again. after texting for a little bit, you snorted. "okay," you said, "but it is kind of funny you're afraid of the dark. i mean, when you think about it."

[krysmcscience]

Call this the Whoopsie AU (it's barely an AU)

I mean. Narinder never explicitly SAID the Lamb would stay dead... :3c He probably should have been more specific. >:3c

Part Two:

Well. The Lamb tried, but...sorry, Nari, the crown hates you now. Shouldn't have been so quick to lend it out, I guess. :D

Aaaand Part Three:

'Isn't he just adorable?' -The Lamb, probably, while their followers smile and nod and internally scream at the brand new hellcat they now have to share living space with...

Anyway, nothing says 'Dead To Me' like following a person around to loudly remind them of how dead they are to you. Right? Right. Narinder's got this all figured out. <:]

[wolfythewitch]

Sketch

[fifizero]

Not to be a lesbian but if you got swallowed by a dragon and died I would cut that dragon open and pull out your bones and painstakingly put your bones back together, so I can bring you back to life using ancient magic but in doing so I inadvertently tied you to the dragon that ate you and you’ll never be the same but neither will I knowing what I did to you.

[floweypilled]

[dandyseedlings]

sorry scout you haven't unlocked that level yet

[oooo-leanderies]

More fun lineless design