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is0gild · 4 years

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Ice Cream and Fire Oven Pizza - Chapter 20

Pairing: Elsa x Lea/Axel || Side Pairing: Riku x OC

Summary: Modern AU. She's an introvert ball of nerves who works at Ice Palace, a mall food court ice cream shop. He's the outgoing, sassy goofball who works at the Pizza Planet across the way. Hilarity, snark, and fluffy romcom hijinks ensue.

Word Count: 10,096

FIRST CHAPTER || PREVIOUS CHAPTER || NEXT CHAPTER

Credit for super friggin’ cute and super friggin’ amazing cover art goes to the super friggin’ talented ky-jane here on tumblr!

Turns out once you've smooched a guy on the nose, things like holding his hand and other such minor displays of affection no longer seem so daunting.

Sure, even as I reached for his hand now, some small amount of mental self-cheerleading was still required in order to work myself up to it. And okay, the tiny flutter in my chest when my fingers brushed against his almost had me pulling back faster than you could say 'emotion-phobia.' But I didn't. And hey, this was way more than I could have brought myself to do even just a few short days ago. This was kind of huge for me, so I think I'd earned the right to take a little pride in my headway so far. Who knew, I just might pull off my half of this whole pretend dating deal yet.

Lea glanced down at my touch. Then he grinned, pulling my hand up to press a soft kiss to the back of it before setting it back down on the dinner table, his thumb trailing light circles along my knuckles. Picking right back up where he'd left off in the conversation, he said, "Oh yeah, GUMMI ships got all sorts of badass tech going on now, the likes of which would put both Star Trek and Star Wars to shame. Super, ultra, mega-laser cannons, impenetrable force fields, swarms of nanobots that can repair any and all damage just like that," he snapped his fingers. Lea then planted an elbow on the table and leaned forward to add in a conspiratorial whisper, "They even have defense systems in the form of giant, exploding space duckies."

Saïx gave him a flat look from where he sat on the other side of the table from us. "Not true."

"Sure it is!" Lea chirped, straightening back up in his chair. "I mean, how else are they gonna fight all those aliens out there?"

Propping my cheek in my free palm, I cocked an eyebrow at him as I felt an upward tug at one corner of my lips. "Aliens? As in little green men?"

"No, no, that'd just be silly," he waved off with a scoff. "As in lil shadow men. Creepy bastards with big, yellow eyes and twitchy antennae." Still holding my hand, he brought both of his own up to either side of his head, miming said antennae with his index fingers.

Closing his eyes, Saïx gave a low sigh into his wine glass. "Also not true."

Lea shrugged, "Oh sure, they're not all like that. There was that blue one they found over in Hawaii, what was its code name again… Experiment 626? Yeah, the government got that one covered up real fast. And don't even get me started on the total dreadnought that is Schwarzgeist lurking out there somewhere in the night sky that absolutely obliterated the USS Endymion."

"The sheer amount of not true you are spouting off right now is positively staggering," Saïx deadpanned, eyelids drooping as he dabbed his napkin to his mouth. "You really need to stop staying up late every night reading all those conspiracy theories out there on the internet."

Lips curling into an evil smirk, Lea said, "But how else am I gonna royally piss you off so much?"

That earned him a small scowl from his brother.

This was basically it. The whole evening in a nutshell from the moment I'd stepped foot into Lea's apartment. Like me, it seemed that Saïx was not much of a talker, at least not amongst strangers. Unlike me however, it appeared to have less to do with social anxiety and more like he just plain wasn't a fan of the whole talking thing and so only did it when he deemed it absolutely necessary. Which I could totally respect. It was just that between the two of us, it had a tendency to leave a bit of a void in the conversation every now and then. Luckily, it was void that Lea was only too happy to fill.

Saïx had been the one to cook dinner. It seemed that that was part of the breakdown of chores in their living arrangement: he usually handled supper while breakfast was Lea's job. Saïx and I had already emptied our plates by now while Lea was still working on his, seeing as how he was otherwise preoccupied with talking a mile a minute. The meal had been a very nice chicken bruschetta pasta paired with a red wine from a fancy looking bottle. The latter I'd thought to be a bit of an odd choice, as I didn't picture Lea being much of a wine drinker. But there he was, sipping away at it, pinkie raised as he did so for an added bit of flair. I guess he just wasn't picky and would drink whatever was put in front of him. I, on the other hand, had decided not to partake. Would rather keep a clear head during this bit of subterfuge we were playing out in front of Saïx.

The point was, there was wine. And wine equaled a wine tipsy Lea. And a wine tipsy Lea, as I was discovering, equaled a chatty Lea. The boy was already chatty to begin with, but this was an all new level. This was chatty on steroids. Needless to say, he was having no trouble whatsoever keeping the conversation rolling.

"Why are we even discussing the GUMMI space program again?" Saïx asked in his bored monotone.

Lea drove his fork down into his pasta, twirling it around. "You know you're always a total slut for outer space, man. The moon and constellations and all that crap is your jam."

"Yes, but our guest," he gestured towards me, "might not find the topic nearly so interesting."

Trailing a finger along the rim of my still full wine glass, I said, "Actually, I've been fascinated by the research their lead mechanical scientist Cid Highwind has been doing in the field of warping technology. With his help, it might not be long before our ships can travel to other solar systems."

Both men just blinked silently at me for a moment.

What? So I liked to keep up on current events by reading a news article every now and again online. It really was not a big deal.

Saïx was the one to speak up first. "Yes. It's said Highwind is hoping to have a working prototype in less than five years."

Do my eyes deceive me? Was that the hint of a smile ghosting over Saïx's mouth?

Oh wow, I think I'd managed to score some points.

...not that it mattered, of course. Since this was only a fake relationship, after all, so getting in the brother's good graces didn't really mean all that much to me. Not one bit. Nope.

Nuzzling his nose to my ear, Lea beamed, "Hell yeah! My baby knows shit!"

"More than you do at least," Saïx sniffed blandly.

Expression relaxing into a sly grin now, he shot back, "I know enough to know about an astral sea monster whose sheer mass is gargantuan enough to blot out the very sun, the terror of the cosmos, eater of spacecrafts and destroyer of worlds, the dreaded galactic space whale," he paused for dramatic effect before splaying a hand out before him as he intoned in hushed reverence, "...Monstro."

Saïx grumbled under his breath and facepalmed.

"By my count, that's the eighth time he's done that tonight," Lea stage whispered to me. "Just five more and I'll have beat my all-time record."

I gave a low hum of amusement. "I suppose it's important to have goals in life."

He snorted, returning his attention to his food as he scooped a forkful into his mouth. I noticed that he'd incidentally stained one side of his lips in the process and I had a brief flashback to a familiar scene of Sora and Kairi. Of the pair of them sitting in the food court and Kairi kissing away a similarly located blotch on her boyfriend. Now that right there had been a seriously advanced dating technique and one I was in no way ready to try out myself. You kidding me? I was still very much a beginner here and the very idea of trying to pull off such a maneuver already had my ears turning pink. That said, a newbie like me still had some options, especially with my newfound ability to make the first move and actually touch my (fake) boyfriend without completely spazzing out.

I tucked in my lower lip, hesitating briefly as my pulse thudded a little more loudly against my eardrums. But then I slowly lifted my hand.

Lea visibly stiffened as he felt my thumb brush at the corner of his mouth, wiping the smudge away. As I began to retract my arm however, he dropped his fork to snatch my wrist and stop me. I arched an eyebrow at him. He smiled back with hooded eyes. Then he gently tugged my thumb up to his lips and licked the sauce off it.

Breath hitching, I yanked my hand free of his grasp. His smile just turned smug as he winked at me.

Apparently, Wine Tipsy Lea had even less boundaries than usual.

As I wiped my thumb with a napkin and ducked my head to hide my boiling cheeks, I heard Saïx mutter, "One has to wonder what a woman of your obvious intelligence and sophistication even sees in an asinine clown such as my brother."

"Well let me think about it," Lea's eyes danced as he folded his hands together, steepling his index fingers so the joined tips touched his mouth. "Perhaps it's my devilish charm and debonair good looks?"

"Oh come now," he said cooly with another sip of his wine, "if you're going to be making things up, you should attempt to make them at least halfway credible."

"He makes me laugh," I suddenly heard myself saying. As both pairs of eyes turned towards me, I immediately felt self-conscious. I mean seriously, what a stupid, cliché thing to say. But that didn't make it any less true, any less… meaningful. I wasn't someone who laughed a lot. In fact, before I'd run out on my wedding, I could probably count the number of times I'd laughed in the last year on one hand.

Fidgeting with my fingers, I pushed forward, "He's sweet… and thoughtful. And genuine. He's not afraid to be himself. And because of that, I find it easier to be… myself... around him." Another thing that did not come easy to me.

As Lea slipped an arm around my shoulders so he could pull me closer and plant a swift peck to my temple, Saïx gave a soft harrumph, "Well, I guess there's no accounting for taste."

"Psst, Saïx," Lea lowered his voice, bending forward over the table and cupping a hand to his mouth. "The moon landing was faked."

With a heavy sigh through his nose, he merely rose from his chair and started gathering the plates and silverware together. As he reached for mine, I protested, "No, that's okay, I can take care of it."

"You're the guest," he said simply as he swiped it up in one smooth motion.

"Best not argue, otherwise he might unleash his berserker wrath on you," Lea sniggered to me. However, when Saïx next took his plate away (still with food on it), he snapped, "Hey! I wasn't done with that!"

"Then you should have eaten faster," he responded dryly.

He stuck his tongue out at him. "Oh yeah? Well the earth is flat." As Saïx turned towards the kitchen, the plates stacked in his hand "accidentally" smacked into Lea's forehead, forcing a small grunt out of him.

I hid a grin behind my hand as Lea pressed his fingertips to the fresh sore spot with a soft tch. Then he downed the rest of his wine as he stood up himself, gathering the other glasses between his fingers on one hand while balling up napkins together in the other. He looked at me, face brightening, "Why don'tcha go on and take a seat in the living room. I'll join ya after I finish helping Saïx clean up."

"Alright," I nodded. He used a hand (the one stuffed full of napkins) to pull my seat out as I stood and gave him a tiny smile before moving past him. Reaching the blue sofa, I moved some of its mismatched pillows to clear a space and took a seat on the far end, tugging the hem of my dress down to cover my knees as I listened to the sound of running water and clinking dishware coming from the kitchen.

I didn't have to wait long before the boys were rejoining me. Lea came bounding over first, plopping himself unceremoniously down onto the couch with me.

Leaving one whole cushion space between us.

I furrowed my brow over at him. However, I did not have to wonder for long at his unexpected seating choice.

For next thing I knew, he'd flopped over onto his side and was using my lap as a makeshift pillow.

My eyes widened and I jolted, one hand going to my chest. His cheek nestled against my leg as one hand went to my knee, his thumb tracing lightly along its top curve over the fabric. "Mmm… you're comfy!" he sighed contentedly.

It was official. Wine Tipsy Lea had absolutely zero boundaries.

Halfway into taking a seat into a maroon armchair to our right, Saïx stopped. Then he straightened back up to his full height with a tired, drawn-out huff. "Perhaps some coffee would be in order."

I gradually relaxed, my eyes crinkling as I glanced down at Lea with a resigned smile. He was like a kitten cuddling into my lap. A really big kitten. I half expected him to start purring. "Perhaps that might be for the best," I murmured in agreement.

My eyes lifted long enough to follow Saïx as he made his way back over towards their kitchen, long blue hair swaying behind him as he went. When I looked back down, I realized with a tiny start that one of my hands had taken it upon itself to start lightly stroking Lea's hair.

Huh. How did that cheeky little devil get there?

I should stop.

But it was just so very... soft. Softer than I remembered. So soft that it felt like I was doing something wrong, something… forbidden by daring to touch it.

...okay, I really, really needed to stop.

...ten seconds. Just ten more measly, innocent seconds, then I'd stop.

There was a low, pleased hum in Lea's throat as my fingers continued to slowly run through his fiery locks. Then he rolled over onto his back, capturing my hand with his to press a gentle kiss into my palm. It tickled and my heart stuttered as I felt a familiar heat creeping up my neck. He... did know Saïx was no longer nearby to witness this little production he was putting on... right? Then again, maybe Lea was too far gone by now to realize his brother had left the room and so was still on boyfriend autopilot. Cradling my hand to his chest just over his heart, his other came up to start fiddling with the end of my braid from where it hung forward over my shoulder as he grinned up at me. "Wanna know?"

My head tipped to one side, "...know what?"

"You said what you see in me, so now it's my turn. Wanna know what I see in you?"

I blinked at him. Then my eyes briefly flicked over to Saïx just beyond the island counter where he was filling a coffee maker with water. Could he hear us all the way over there? Hopefully… this might be good for show. With a low snort, I planted my elbow on the armrest next to me, propping my cheek against my knuckles as I dropped my gaze back to Lea. "Sure, why not? Go for it."

This should be good.

His grin twitched wider. "You're kooky."

...well I certainly wasn't disappointed.

Though that wasn't quite the word I would have expected out of him. In fact, not the word I would have ever expected out of anyone when used to describe me.

One of my eyebrows quirked. "I'm… kooky?"

He nodded, "Mm-hm! Most people don't know it, but it's there. Way, way deep down in here," he tapped a finger to a spot just below my collarbone before going back to toying with my braid. "Ya try to keep it hidden. Don't like people seeing that side of you for some reason. But I've caught glimpses of it. I like it. Makes me feel like I'm in on a secret no one else is. And you're fun. Hella smart, too. And so goddamn pretty."

"That so?" I muttered, resisting the urge to roll my eyes.

Wine Tipsy Lea was laying it on a bit thick.

Still… I was smiling despite myself.

"And that. Right there," he tapped a finger to my lips. "Your smile is gorgeous. Was the first thing about you that had me head over heels. I love being the one to put it there. Love being the one that can make you laugh."

Did I say a bit thick? Try instead a lot thick. Too thick. Like two metric tons too thick. Jeez, perhaps I'd be better off hoping Saïx couldn't actually hear all this. Even he might think it a bit too much to be believable.

Lea's eyes softened as he continued to stare up at me, his hand shifting over from my mouth to lightly graze his curled fingers against my cheek, leaving tiny tingles in their wake. "...I wish we were real."

Insert record screech.

E-E-Excuse me?!

My heart stopped. Like legit full on stopped. There were at least three full seconds there where if a medical examiner had checked my pulse, they would have probably declared me dead.

Lea froze, his whole body locking up. His eyes grew round and his face blanched, his expression now a perfect mirror of what I imagined my own must have looked like in that exact moment as he seemingly and immediately realized his mistake.

Now I definitely hoped Saïx couldn't overhear us! There seemed to be no reaction from over in the kitchen beyond the sound of water beginning to boil. Which was good. Maybe our cover wasn't blown and-

...and so not the point right now! The point was… was…

Ex-friggin'-scuse me?!

Wish we were real? What did that even mean? Real what? Did he mean that he wanted… that he wished he and I… that we were a… an actual, honest to god coupl-

No! No, I must have misheard. Yeah, that had to be it! He hadn't said… er… what I thought he'd said. No, what he'd probably actually said was, uh… was he wished we were… seals. Yeah, that's probably what it was! Seals were neat! And… and cute! I wouldn't blame him for wanting to be one, especially in his less than totally sober state! Or… or… he could have said that he… he fished… for Neil. Who was Neil, one might wonder? Got me! But you know what? Good for Lea, helping his ol' pal Neil out with fishing like that. Nice guy, that Lea. Such a giver, such a-

"TORS!" Lea suddenly shouted, practically making me jump out of my skin as he shot up off my lap and scooted all the way over to sit at the opposite end of the couch. He had a hand clasped over his nose and mouth, doing a poor job of hiding his reddened (wine flushed?) face. "Realtors! I wish we were realtors, is what I was trying to say!" he hastily clarified, shooting a weak chuckle my way.

I stared at him blankly.

Wha…? Realtors…?

Apparently, he wasn't done. "Yeah! You know, one of those power couples you hear about all the time! Partners in everything, from romance to real estate! That's some real lovey-dovey crap right there, don'tcha think? The epitome of passion! The sappiest dream to ever sap! The-"

"What inanity are you babbling on about now?" Saïx returned, causing me for the second time in as many minutes to nearly die of cardiac arrest. He was carrying two steaming mugs, one in each hand.

"Nothing! Not a damn thing! Nope! Total nonsense!" Lea said quickly, snatching up one of the cups and rapidly blowing on the coffee a couple times before knocking back the whole thing in one go. He pulled the cup away from his lips with a wince, probably suffering from a tongue that was now at least mildly burnt. Then he plastered on a grin, "You know how I get when I'm lost in the sauce, man. I start rambling off total bullshit that I don't even mean. Never. Mm-mm, nope, not one bit! Every word of it? Total garbage. Yup! Heh…"

I flinched back from the second warm mug that was suddenly being offered me. I'd barely had a chance to hold up my hand and shake my head before Lea was grabbing that one too, handling this one with smaller, more cautious sips.

...realtors.

Huh.

Okay, sure, why not?

Not like it was any crazier than any of the other explanations I'd come up with myself. Especially when you considered Lea was more than a little buzzed. People said nonsensical things all the time while under the influence. I'd know, I'd seen Anna in a state of three sheets to the wind on more than one occasion. You should have heard half the things she'd blathered on about at the time… adventures through magical winter wonderlands, talking snowmen, singing rock people, whole castles made of-

Shoot, Saïx was talking to me. Or rather, had been talking to me for a while and now seemed to be expecting some sort of reply. Still a little rattled, I scrounged together a flimsy but polite smile, "I'm sorry, what was that?"

One thin eyebrow arched ever so slightly at me as he cradled a fuming mug between his hands. Apparently he'd gone back at some point to get one for himself as well. "...I heard you were present during one of my sleepwalking episodes a couple weeks back. I hope I didn't give you too much of a fright."

"Oh! No! No, it's-" I got distracted as I felt Lea gingerly inching back over to sit beside me. Probably trying to salvage some semblance of the relationship pretense. However, his affections had become somewhat subdued, restricted now to only resting an arm along the sofa cushions behind my head and his knee brushing against mine as he continued to nurse the coffee. Regathering my train of thought, I tried again, "It's, uh… it's alright. Not your fault. Nor was I bothered by it at all. Just had to stay out of your way, is all."

"Still I-"

"Ya know what?" Lea suddenly piped up, plonking the now empty mug down onto the coffee table right next to the first one. "Sorry guys, but I think we gotta call it an early night! I'm beat! And I mean woof! Dog-tired!"

My eyebrows knit together as I glanced over at him. "...but you just chugged two full cups of coffee."

...what are you doing, you fool, shut up! He was probably trying to rescue us by putting a merciful end to what, as of the last five minutes, had officially become one royal disaster of an evening!

He bat a hand through the air, "That? Please, that was just to help sober my drunk ass up! Trust me, caffeine doesn't do jackshit to me when it comes to staying awake."

Saïx's mouth had settled into a flat line as his green gaze shifted back and forth between Lea and me. "Very well," he said finally, closing his eyes as he raised his cup to his lips, "I presume my noise canceling headphones will be a necessity while I work tonight."

I frowned. "Noise canceling…?"

Lea cleared his throat and gave a sheepish chuckle while scratching a spot behind his ear. "He, uh… thinks you're spending the night."

"Oh…" I said slowly before his words had a chance to fully sink in. Then they did. "Oh!" I repeated more loudly, eyes widening as I rocketed up to my feet, "You mean sex!"

...what the actual frick, mouth?!

"Which is a thing!" Apparently, I was only getting started. Panic mode was in full effect now. "A thing d-dating couples do! Which… which we are! Dating, that is. And a couple! Can't, uh… can't forget that part." Dear lord, where's a gag when you need one? "Which, I don't know w-why you would. Because clearly we're a couple. Yup! That's us!" Yeesh, at least when Lea had been yammering off nonsense, he'd had wine coursing through his veins. What was my excuse? "A couple! A couple who, ah…" Oh no. "...who have, er…" Don't you say it. Don't you dare say it. "...who have sex!"

I winced.

Just shoot me. Shoot me now.

"Oh yeah, lots and lots of it!" Oh great. There was more. "All the time! In all s-sorts of, um… places. My room. His room. Oh look," I pointed both my hands towards Lea's door, "there's his room now!" Make an excuse to leave. Any excuse. " I think we'll go in there now and make with all the sex!" Not that excuse! Pause, followed by tiny, nervous laughter from me. "Yup."

Then before I knew it, I'd bolted into said room, door crashing shut behind me. I pressed my back to it, clutching both hands to my mouth as I hyperventilated and trembled, eyes huge and unblinking as I stared off into space, registering absolutely zilch of what was in front of me now.

What.

Did.

Just.

Do?!

You know what, cheeks? I won't even try and stop you this time. You go right on ahead and blush your nonexistent little hearts out. Fry my face to a friggin' crisp, for all I care. I won't judge. You have every right after… that. Whatever the heck that even was just now!

Oh gosh, had I really just gone on and on about, hrm… intimate relations? In front of Lea's brother? That... had to be... the most spectacular case of anxiety-induced word vomit to date from me yet! What was wrong with me? Who does that? No, seriously, I demand answers this instant, what in the everliving-

A soft knock at the door made me yelp and jump away, whipping around to face it, heart trying to jackhammer its way out of my chest. I was greeted by my own frazzled reflection staring back at me from the full-length mirror hanging there. My face could have been mistaken for a ripe, oversized tomato.

"...El?" Lea's muffled voice came through from the other side. "You might've, uh… kinda forgot something."

A crease formed between my eyebrows. Forgot something? No, I don't think so. I glanced down at myself, hands patting over my dress. Phone in pocket? Check. Shoes on feet? Check. No purse, I hadn't used one tonight. No coat, I'd thought it too warm out for it. My gaze settled on the door once more, eyes scrunching. "What did I forget?"

"...me?"

Oh.

Fudge.

After that, ah… stirring speech I'd just given out there a moment ago, it would certainly help drive the point home if I had him in here with me, wouldn't it?

After all, it took two to, ahem... tango.

As I reached a hand towards the doorknob, I realized I hadn't even locked it. Lea must have only been knocking to be considerate. A consideration I greatly appreciated, especially when you take into account that this was in fact his room that I'd taken sanctuary in. Taking a deep breath and expelling it slowly in one last ditch effort to calm my nerves, my still shaking fingers closed around the knob and twisted.

I cracked the door ajar about an inch, just barely enough for me to peek one eye through. Arms crossed and one shoulder propped against the doorframe, Lea tilted his head with a tiny smile, "Hey."

My gaze fell to my feet for a moment before flicking back up to meet his. "...hi."

"Can I come in?"

I hesitated for another heartbeat then nodded, pulling the door open further and taking a couple steps back. He turned his head to one side, calling out a quick, "Night, man!" to Saïx before walking in and closing the door.

Ah, awkward silence. Ye hath returned. Never could stay away from me for long, could you?

"So…" I hugged myself and decided to get into a staring contest with the floor. "...think he likes me?"

Lea snerked, folding one arm behind his back, hand hooking his opposite elbow as he leaned back against the mirror hanging from his door. "You kidding? He adores you. Practically ready to call ya sister-in-law."

I attempted a smile. It came across as more of a grimace. "Even after I was… all…"

"...smooth and cool as a cucumber?" he supplied, his voice chipper. "Absolutely! And you said you couldn't lie," he teased. "You handled that one like a total pro!"

...oh. Wow, he was right. Not about the "pro" part, obviously, but that I had lied. For the first time since this whole charade started, I'd told a straight out, bald-faced lie. It had been a monumental failure, to be sure, but hey… we all had to start somewhere. Guess I had to take my silver linings wherever I could.

"Gah, I should have just made up some sort of… of excuse or something." I started pacing slowly, eyes still downcast as I brought one hand up to chew on my thumbnail. "Said I couldn't stay because I had an opening shift tomorrow."

He shook his head, "Saïx knows you work at the mall with me, so he also knows I woulda happily driven ya over from here, even at the crack of dawn."

Frowning, I tried again, "Well then, I could have said that… ah! That you had an early test tomorrow so I shouldn't be keeping you up late!"

"Nah, he knows me too well," he smirked, waggling his eyebrows. "Knows I'd never let a lil thing like that stop me."

I blinked. Then I buried my face in my hands with a groan. "Oh god, I can never face him again. Not after that." Dragging my palms down to peek out between my fingers, I grumbled, "I'm guessing it's safe to assume he's retracted his 'woman of obvious intelligence and sophistication' comment." Ha. Showed what Saïx knew.

Shrugging one shoulder, he laughed, "I wouldn't worry 'bout it too much. Just another side of your kookiness that I mentioned earlier. 'Sides, he knows what a nervous, jumpy creature you are."

Up quirked one eyebrow. "...he does?"

"Well, he does now."

...fair point.

One that did not make me feel better.

"And look at the bright side," Lea continued. "It's good this happened here rather than in front of your folks! Now you'll be better prepared to handle it the next time it comes up."

My lips twisted sourly, "I guess so." As bad as this already was, it would have spelled utter disaster if that little freakout had occurred during the upcoming weekend with my parents. We're talking one epic catastrophe here, like meteor-taking-out-the-dinosaurs kind of catastrophe. Then again, I didn't particularly see this exact set of circumstances arising while I was around my family. Still… best to be on the safe side. I wrinkled my brow, "Better prepared… how?"

"Ah, well…" he pursed his lips to one side, tapping a finger against his other arm. "For starters… and I'm just spitballing here, but next time you could maybe just, ya know… not say the word sex repeatedly? If at all? I'm thinking this is 'less is more' kinda situation."

"...good call."

"Heh," he paused, rubbing his shoulder. "So... looks like we're bunkmates."

I lowered my gaze once more and brought my curled fingers up to my mouth, covering my deepening frown. "Yeah… looks like…"

I wish we were real.

Gah, why was I still even thinking about that?! Lea had already explained it, hadn't he? Realtors. The word he had actually said, had been in the middle of saying, was realtors. It was nothing. Absolutely nothing. Just the ramblings of a guy who'd had a little too much to drink. Why was I still stuck on this?

My face must have been an open book. "Listen, I… meant what I said earlier," he spoke abruptly and my eyes darted up to lock on his. He averted his gaze and scratched his cheek, "You can't take anything I say too seriously when I've been drinking. Often my brain is just stringing random words together and spitting out the first arbitrary bullshit it can come up with. Like a toddler that's just learned to talk, regurgitating words it doesn't even understand just cuz it heard it from someone else at some point. Half the time, the things I say when I'm liquored up don't even make any sense." His eyes settled on me once more, this time accompanied by a weak smile. "So just don't be too… concerned about any gibberish that came blurting outta my stupid drunk mouth, 'kay? And you won't hear another peep of it tonight. Those two coffees are kicking in fast, so I'm much more clear headed now."

I tugged at my braid before folding my arms tightly together once more. "...okay."

And now onward to Act 1, Scene 2 of the award-winning and critically acclaimed musical: Awkward Silence.

"I have a lizard!"

My head rocked back at Lea's sudden declaration out of nowhere, both eyebrows shooting up my forehead. "...a lizard?"

He nodded eagerly, grinning big now. "Yeah! Wanna see? Come take a look!" He moved off to his left towards one corner of the room and for the first time I realized that there was a large glass terrarium situated on a long, low table in that spot. Lea squatted down next to it, waving me over to join him. I obliged and when I got close enough, he took hold of my hand and tugged me down into a crouch beside him. He squinted into the enclosure for a second, scanning all the rocks and plants inside before, "Ah-ha!" He pointed, tapping his finger against the glass, "There he is!"

And indeed, there he was, curled up inside a small, hollowed out log and blinking back at us. He was a tiny thing, all big eyes and blue skin except for the purple markings running down his back. "Oh wow," I slowly smiled, "you really do have a lizard. Why didn't you say anything last time I was here?"

"Cuz 'come into my bedroom so I can introduce you to my lizard' sounds a lil sketch, don'tcha think?" he chuckled, waggling his pointer finger up and down at his pet in greeting.

A soft snort. "Yeah, that might have earned you a dubious look." The critter crawled out into the open now, giving us a curious look. "Can I hold him?"

Lea flashed some dimple, "Course!" Straightening up, he moved the terrarium's lamps to one side before sliding out the lid and reaching inside, mumbling, "C'mere, Bruni." Picking the reptile up, he then offered him to me, "Now, the lil guy's usually shy at first but warms up quick and can be a bit of a flirt."

I stood as well, holding one hand out. Bruni cautiously put one stubby-toed foot on my fingers, eyeing me warily before fully walking the rest of the way into my palm. He was small enough to fit perfectly in it. Then he cocked his head up at me. I cocked mine back then hummed a low laugh, stroking a finger along the top of his head. That seemed to be all it took to win him over, for he then bellyflopped into a cuddle against my palm before rolling over onto his back.

"Bit of a flirt indeed," I murmured, rubbing his tummy with my fingertip. "What kind is he?"

"Salamander. Which, I know, technically not a lizard. But feels simpler most of the time just telling people that's what he is." He fell silent for a second, eyes crinkling as he watched us. Then he walked past me, saying, "Hey, welcome to my room by the way!"

I turned to face him and for the first time got a real good look at the place. If I had to pick one word to describe it, that word would be pandemonium.

Clothes were strewn about everywhere, covering floor and furniture alike - pretty much anywhere conceivable besides actually inside a dresser. Bookshelves stacked high with no rhyme or reason, textbooks next to movie DVDs (from action thriller to cornball classics) next to game CD cases next to vinyl records. Walls and ceiling plastered with posters, mostly of classic rock bands, but there was the occasional renegade: one here in which a dangerous looking man posed with an Assassin's Creed logo across the bottom, another one there depicting a grim reaper character dual-wielding sickles that looked to be from another video game of some sort. A queen-sized bed with black and red sheets buried beneath a mess of paper and more textbooks, along with a closed laptop and his shoulder bag tossed carelessly on top of it all.

And that was just barely scratching the chaotic surface. Needless to say, it was a lot to take in.

"Pardon the mess," he gave a rueful chuckle, scrambling to snatch clothes up off the carpet here and there to chuck into the laundry basket residing in his open closet, just under a black, full-length coat hanging from the rung in there. "Wasn't expecting any overnight visitors."

"It's, uh…" So many adjectives, so little time. As I searched for a word, I felt Bruni crawling up my sleeve. I kept an eye on him to make sure he didn't slip, but otherwise let him do his own thing. At last, I settled on, "...big."

"Yup! I got the masters! Comes complete with its own bathroom and everything," he jerked a thumb towards a second closed door on the other side of the room. By now, Bruni had found his way onto my shoulder and was snuggling into the crook of my neck. My fingers came up to pet along his spine. Narrowing his eyes on the salamander, Lea went on, "Surprisingly, Saïx prefers the smaller, cozier room. He's a minimalist, so not like he needs all that much space anyhow. Which works out for me, especially since I used to, er… heh, shall we say, host more sleepovers?"

I rolled my eyes and opened my mouth, but whatever I'd been about to say was forever lost.

For that's when Bruni did it.

He took the plunge.

Straight down into the neckline of my dress.

I yelped, arms crossing over my bosom. Lea's eyes widened, "Motherfu-" He lunged forward, hands outstretched before him like he had every intention of going down in there after Bruni. Then Lea froze, seemed to think better of it and instead folded his arms together, shoving his hands into his armpits as he looked away. "You, uh…" he cleared his throat, glancing at me out of the corner of his eye, "...you okay?"

"Yeah. Just tickles a bit," I wrinkled my nose, trying not to squirm as I felt the little guy climbing around against my chest. Thankfully, it wasn't long before he moved over to start making his way down my sleeve. I gave my arm a gentle shake to help speed his progress along and eventually he came tumbling out into my palm.

"Sorry 'bout that," Lea scooped him back out of my hand into his, using the other to ruffle his hair with a tiny, bashful smile. "I know I said he was a flirt, but he's never been this brazenly forward before."

Shaking my head with a snerk, I said, "It's fine, really. Don't worry about it."

Walking back over to the terrarium, he turned a scowl onto the salamander. "And what do you have to say for yourself, young man?" Bruni just answered with a lizard grin, flicking his tongue out to lick his own eyeball. "Smug lil shit," Lea grumbled, setting him back down inside his home.

One corner of my lips twitching up, I turned to take another look around his room. Despite Lea's hasty tidying up, his carpet was still a disaster zone of shirts and other garments. As I began to carefully navigate it, I asked, "So how are we doing this?"

"Doing…?" I could hear the frown in his voice.

I looked back at him. "Sleeping arrangements?"

"Oh! That's easy!" Having now set the lid and lamps back into their rightful places, Lea walked towards me with his grin resurfacing. "You get the bed, I'll take the floor."

My eyelids drooped. "You can't sleep on the floor, that's ridiculous. It's your room."

"Exactly!" he started clearing the papers up off his comforter, gathering them all together and tucking them away inside one of the textbooks. "It's my room, so I'll sleep wherever I want in it! And tonight, the floor's looking pretty damn good!"

I huffed. "Enough with the chivalry already. I'll sleep on the floor."

He picked up his laptop and made his way over to a large mound of clothes. Oh wait. There was a desk hiding under there, or so I realized as soon as he started shoving all the shirts and whatnot aside. Placing the laptop down on top of it, he then shrugged back at me, "Hey, if that'll make ya happy, more power to ya. Doesn't change the fact that I will not be taking my siesta in that bed tonight."

A low harrumph in my throat. "Fine."

"Fine," he agreed, now opposite the bed from me as he hung his bag from a wall hook there. Then he squinted one eye at me, "So it's settled then. We're both sleeping on the floor. Like the couple of rational, mature, grown-ass adults that we are. While the perfectly good bed goes to waste. Cuz that makes total sense."

I shot him a deadpan look. "Alright, fine then. Bruni gets the bed."

He slapped his forehead, dragging his hand down his face with an exasperated laugh. "C'mon, El, will you just take the bed please? I won't be able to fall asleep if I know you're just curled up on the floor."

"Sounds like not my problem," I crossed my arms with a smirk. Oh-ho, that's right. I could be stubborn when I wanted to be.

"Woman! Just take the freaking bed before I throw you in the damn thing!" both his hands gestured in mild annoyance at said bed.

Scoffing, I turned my head to one side. "Please, it's the twenty-first century, your neanderthal tactics won't work on me."

Green eyes flashing, he said in a low, even voice, "They will if I make good on 'em."

My gaze narrowed on him now. "You wouldn't dare."

He bent forward, fists planted on the mattress as he gave me a tiny glare across it. "Wanna bet?"

My legs turned traitor and defected, sitting me down on the bed so quick, you would have missed the motion if you'd blinked.

"There now," his face immediately lit up like the first rays of sunlight at dawn. "Was that so hard?"

I made a little hmph in my throat, tucking my legs beside me as I smoothed my dress over my knees with as much dignity as I could muster. "I'll have you know that I chose of my own free will to take the bed tonight and it had nothing to do with any thinly veiled threats that may or may not have been made on your part." I unzipped my ankle boots, letting them fall to the carpet below with a couple of heavy thuds. "I mean, I am the guest after all, it's only proper etiquette that I sleep in the bed. I'm just making sure you're adequately performing your role as the host."

A soft snerk came from his nose as he kicked off his own shoes and spread his arms wide to give me a mock bow, "Well, thank you, Miss Manners, I dunno what I'd ever do without you."

"You're welcome," I sniffed lightly. It was nice of him to let me have this. I then felt the bed quake beneath me as Lea flopped down beside me, stretching out comfortably and cushioning his head with his arms. I blinked down at him. "...I'm sorry, did that conversation just end differently than I thought it did?"

He raised an eyebrow at me, "Hm?"

"Thought you were taking the floor."

"I am, but that's not until lights out. Right now, we're just chilling!" he beamed. But then his expression relaxed and he propped himself up slightly on his elbows, cocking his head at me. "This is okay, right?"

"Er…" I glanced away, gnawing on my bottom lip.

Yeesh, I seriously needed to grow up. This wasn't a big deal. Like, at all. So what if we were sitting in the same bed? Nothing to freak out about. I mean, sure, I'd never shared a bed with a guy before, not even my ex. Come to think of it, I'd never even been in a boy's bedroom before. But hey, there was a first time for everything. This would be fine. I would be fine.

"...yeah, it's okay," I finally responded. He frowned, not looking convinced. I put on my best brave smile and managed a tiny laugh, "Really, it's fine." Or at least it would be once we stopped talking about it. Wanting to move the conversation along to something else, I searched my brain for a new topic. "So… you and Saïx…" I drew my knees up, hugging them to my chest, "...do you always mess with each other like that?"

"Oh yeah, all the time," he chuckled, settling back down into his pillow and folding one arm back behind his head. "Nothing says you care like making the other person's life a constant living hell!"

Settling my chin down onto my knees, I snorted. "Remind me never to let you care about me."

"Too late!" he chirped. My eyeroll belied the tiny cartwheel my stomach was doing. "'Sides, all siblings are like that. I'm sure you and Anna have terrorized the crap outta each other more times than you can even count."

"Well yeah," I turned my head to look over at him, resting my ear to my legs instead, "but that was way back when we were children. We grew out of it a long time ago."

Lea grinned cheekily, "Oh really? I seem to recall a certain someone chasing her sister 'round the living room trying to straight up murder her dead not hardly more than a week ago."

Wow, had that really only been just last week? It felt like eons ago by this point. A soft noise of contempt huffed out through my nose, "Don't exaggerate. I didn't try to murder her."

"How did it go again? ...ah, I believe your exact words to her were, and I quote, 'dip you in liquid nitrogen, snap every frozen limb off your body one by one, and then I'll kill you.' That about sum it up?"

I pursed my lips to the right, "...there were extenuating circumstances."

"Heh," he stared up at the ceiling, "if ya say so."

I lifted my head back up, my arms loosening somewhat around my legs as I considered my next words carefully. "About Saïx… can I ask what happened?" Lea glanced back at me quizzically and I clarified, "I mean with…" I tapped a finger to the bridge of my nose.

"Oh, his scar?" he rolled over onto his side towards me, bracing his head in one hand. "Old battle wound from our time in the foster system. Same shithead who let us two numbskull brats play with a chainsaw. Negligent and abusive. Real winning combo there, huh?"

"You mean a foster parent did that to him? On purpose? That's terrible," I breathed, looking horrified.

"S'okay," he gave a one-shouldered shrug, then smirked wickedly. "I retaliated by burning his house down."

My eyes widened, "Did you really?"

Lea sighed, "Unfortunately, no, but not for lack of trying. Only managed to set a bed ablaze and blacken a few curtains before the fire department showed up."

I stared at him blankly. "I am just... simply amazed that you survived long enough to make it to adulthood. Either of you."

He blew out an amused pft through his teeth. "Yeah, Saïx and I were definitely prime candidates for the Darwin Awards growing up. Told ya, we were lil hellions forged straight from the fiery pits of El Diablo. Hey, speaking of Ol' Bullseye over there..." he trailed off as he suddenly sat himself up.

"Bullseye?" I asked, arching an eyebrow his way while watching him fold his legs beneath himself so he could stand on his knees atop the mattress.

"Ya know. Mr. X-Marks-The-Spot," he tacked on by way of explanation, abruptly shoulder-slamming into the wall behind us just above his pillows and making me jolt.

...the heck?

"...you mean Saïx?" I furrowed my brow, wincing as he followed it up by crashing his elbow against the wall next. "Aren't those nicknames a bit… mean?" My question was punctuated with another loud thump.

Seriously, what on earth…?.

"Nah, he likes it." Whack! "Knows they're terms of endearment." Bang! "Only from me though. Anyone else ever even so much as thought about calling him anything like that, I'd make sure next time they turned up would be in a bodybag." Whump! "'Sides, you should hear half the shit he calls me, especially when he's royally ticked." Thwack! "This one time, he-"

"Wait. Hold it. Stop," I held up my hands, eyes flicking back and forth between him and the wall. "...what exactly is it that you are doing?"

"Huh?" he stilled, blinking at me a couple times. "Oh this?" his shoulder rammed into the surface once more. "This is the wall I share with Saïx's room."

...well okay then, sure, that totally and one hundred percent cleared up my utter confusion and lack of comprehension.

Not.

"Alright," I said, stretching the word out. "And so…?"

"So he's come to expect a certain level of enthusiasm on my part whenever I'm entertaining a lady friend," Lea winked and clicked his tongue before once again striking the wall.

"Oh?" I frowned down at my hands. Then it clicked with another louder, "Oh!" Followed by a slower, more quiet, "Oh…" Cheeks warming now, I looked back over at him, "You mean you… that is, against the wall, you've… oh." A pause while my eyes shifted about in my awkwardness. "But wouldn't the headboard get in the-" I stopped, glancing back over my shoulder and answering my own question. "Oh… oh, I see. No headboard. Got it. How very, er..." I cleared my throat and ducked my head to my knees, muffling into them, "...very practical."

I heard him snerk as the beating the wall was taking continued. "You're funny when you're flustered, ya know that?"

My face cranked up the heat dial even further and I scowled.

If you listened closely, the signs of a very steady, very distinct rhythm to the pounding could be heard beginning to take shape.

...I needed to stop listening so closely.

My eyebrows knit together as I then remembered something. "Wait… didn't Saïx say something about noise canceling headphones?"

"Well yeah, so he's not hearing any of this, but he can still see whenever any of the crap on his shelves or any framed pictures or anything else that might be up against his side o' the wall shakes from the impact," he shrugged, halting to puff out a noisy breath and wipe his forehead with the back of his hand. Apparently, he was working up a sweat. Then he grinned brightly, "This is actually kinda fun! Wanna have a go at it?"

I shot him a flat look. "...I think I'm good, thanks."

"You sure?" Another slam. "It's actually pretty satisfying. One might even say cathartic. Got any pent-up aggression you gotta work out?" And another, this one taking the form of a punch. He immediately regretted that one, eliciting a pained hiss as he shook out his now reddening fingers.

"Yeah, no," I rapidly shook my head, "no pent-up aggression here. Fresh out." Insert weak chuckle at my lame joke that was neither funny nor an actual joke.

"Suit yourself," he laughed, smacking the wall hard with an open palm this time. Then his back snapped straight and his face lit up, "Oh yeah! Before I forget…" he pivoted to his left, reaching into his messenger bag he'd hung up earlier and rooting around in it.

I snorted, "Done already?"

"Just giving that wall a breather," he said, not looking up from his searching. "We've found some other surface to bear the brunt of all our lovemaking for now, but we'll probably be back to this one later."

Oh gosh. Way to go, mouth, you just had to ask, didn't you? Just when my cheeks had begun settling down too.

"Ah! Found it!" he triumphantly pulled something out of the bag. Flopping back down to once more lay flat on the bed beside me, he held it out towards me, "Pour vous, ma petite amie jolie."

I squinted at the booklet in his hand. Or more precisely, a catalog. "Twilight University?" I read the bold lettering as I reached out to take it, staring at the image on the cover of a handful of young adults gathered around in a small circle of desks and looking photogenically excited about education.

"Yup! It's the course listings for next semester at my college. Lookie here," he opened the booklet up, leaving it propped in my hands as he started thumbing through it quickly. "Ah, there!" he stopped on a page, resting his head on my shoulder as he pointed to one of several listings that had been circled here. "They offer a few different introductory drama classes ya might be interested in."

I blinked down at the catalog as vague memories of a conversation I'd had with Lea last time I was here to help him study started coming back to me. "...you remembered?" I asked quietly.

"'Course!" I could feel his cheek pull into a smile against my shoulder. "It seemed important to you, so how could I forget?"

Honestly? I myself had forgotten. But to be fair, I had had a lot on my mind the past couple weeks, what with suddenly having a boyfriend now (pretend or otherwise), trying to figure out how to make a proper show of being a girlfriend, and stressing out over the all too soon to come visit with my parents. Frankly, my life had been turned upside down as of late and had become the very definition of insanity. There had just quite simply been no time to think about childhood fantasies of singing and performing in musicals.

But I guess… right here, right now in Lea's room, I had a bit of a reprieve. I mean, it's not like there was anything exactly pressing at this very moment, nothing that couldn't wait until tomorrow at least. I suppose I had a few seconds I could spare to entertain the thought. It couldn't hurt anything…

"...so where is Twilight University exactly?" I stretched my legs out to lay flat on the mattress, crossing my ankles and resting the open booklet down in my lap. "Is it close to my apartment?"

He hummed low in thought. "Probably a bit too far if you're on foot. But maybe we could carpool there. And hey," he lifted his head to glance over at me, "I still got a free elective course or two that I need to take. I could enroll in the class with ya!"

I felt a grin tugging at one corner of my lips as I looked back down at the catalog, absently trailing my fingers down one of the circled paragraphs. "I think I'd like that…"

"Yeah?" he asked softly and for a second I thought I might have sensed him leaning in a little closer. But it must have just been in my head, for now he was pulling away to flop over onto his back on his side of the bed once again, making a small cough into his fist. "I, uh… talked to my friends too. The ones who run the local community theater. You're in luck! They're between shows at the moment and are actually gonna be holding auditions soon for their next one. Sometime this week, I think. It's a musical too!"

"Really?" I returned my gaze to him, closing the booklet but using a finger to hold the page. A sigh then escaped me as I worried my bottom lip between my teeth, "I don't know… I doubt I'm ready for anything like that."

Lea shook his head with a chuckle, "Ready for what? Just to talk to 'em? It's not like you actually hafta audition or anything. Nah, you can just head down, meet them, get some deets… maybe find out the where and the when so you can go and just watch other people tryout, ya know? Just get a feel for it, if you want."

He made a good point. And I'd be lying if I said I wasn't curious. I could go and just ask some questions, that's all. Surely, there would be no harm in that. "Maybe…"

"Well if you do decide you wanna drop in for a lil chat with them, their day job is over at Halloween Town in the mall. They should both be on the clock there around noon tomorrow. Ask for Jack or Sally and just tell 'em I sent ya," he jabbed a thumb into his chest with a big grin, "got it memorized?"

"Jack or Sally… okay," I nodded, responding with a small smile of my own. "I might do that. Thanks, Lea."

"Always happy to be of service! Now," he hopped up off the bed and made his way over to one of his shelves that was pure anarchy incarnate, "whaddya think? You up for a movie?"

The corners of my eyes crinkled and I set the catalog aside on the nightstand. "I could be. What are the options?"

He rubbed his chin, scrutinizing the mess crammed into the rack before pulling out a couple DVD cases, one from the top shelf and the other from somewhere in the middle. He held them up in either hand for me, "I'm thinking either Sixteen Candles or The Labyrinth. Thoughts?"

I looked between the two choices. Then my eyes scanned about the room and I frowned. "I'm thinking it's going to be hard to watch either of them without a TV."

"Without a-?" he blinked a couple times, looking over to his right. Then he sighed, "Hang on a sec," as he tossed the movies down onto the foot of the bed and made his way over to another towering pile of clothes against the wall directly across the room from his bed. "Watch and be amazed as I make a flat screen appear outta thin air in three… two…" he whipped the garments aside with a flourish, revealing the television beneath, "Ta-da!"

"Ah," I gave a polite clap and settled more comfortably down into his pillows, "I stand corrected. Though who needs movies when we have your amazing wizardry to keep us entertained?"

He scratched the back of his head, "Heh, it'd be a short magic show. 'Fraid I just got the one trick up my sleeve."

"Too bad." I paused, eyeing the DVD cases. "Make it a double feature?"

He snapped his fingers and snatched them both back up.

"Girl after my own heart. Pure genius."

Author's Note: Ah, yet another classic cliché for the books: our couple encounters one room, one bed for the night xD Also, fun fact: I started out this chapter stumped for what they should be talking about over dinner. Then I asked my bestie, who simply said: "gummi ships." And I just laughed it off at first, all "naw, that wouldn't make sense for this AU." But then it churned in my mind for a few minutes and I was like "wait… no… I think I can make this work…" And thus the Global Union for Multigalactic Mobility Investigation aka GUMMI Space Program aka NASA rip-off was born xD And further thus, Lea being an alien conspiracy-nut JUST for the sake of pissing of his space-loving half-bro was born xP Anyhoo! For those of you who haven't seen Frozen 2 yet (for shame, it's SO good, I demand you go out and watch it THIS INSTANT), Bruni the salamander is from that! He's a fire spirit in the movie with legit fire powers, so I got excited to give the fire boi a fire lizard for a pet! Also, maybe you can start to see the inklings of actual plot starting to sneak back into this story xD Slowly, we'll get back on course, but not before at least one more hijinks-y misadventure takes place… hehehe…

What does the next chapter hold in store for out couple? What new challenges could their budding fake relationship face? Is Elsa really going to pursue any sort of acting class or community theater? Will Lea ever follow his realtor aspirations he seemed so passionate about? Stay tuned!

Thanks for reading, I super duper appreciate it! And an extra BIG thank you to those of you who’ve liked, reblogged, and followed so far, seeing those lil notifications always brings the biggest, goofiest smile to my face!

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Artidax

Computers are a vital facet of Xia. Computers store incredibly vital information, taking up far less space and material than physical copies (not that those have no value, of course). Likewise, transmission towers allow for communications to rapidly and widely spread across the entire island in a matter of mere seconds, and AI beings such as the Vahki help facilitate the law, while Super-Computers work day and night to calculate the most optimal stock market routes and exchanges.

Such artificial minds are an incredibly complex, niche, and specific invention; So naturally, the entirety of the Artidax District is designated towards the production of computer chips, AI development, as well as the hosting of transmission towers, launching of satellites, and mass surveillance cameras. Just about all information, messages, and radio transmissions pass through Artidax’s massive, skeletal towers, before leaping across Xia to their next destination. Massive satellite, radio dishes dot the skyline, and the District is of a more ‘futuristic’, hi-tech appearance than the others, being far cleaner and more pristine than the likes of Stelt or Tametru.

This cleanliness is obvious; Artidax’s sterile environment is a necessity in order to prevent dust and other contaminants from damaging precious micro-chips and other fragile components. As such, dusting and cleaning is taken very seriously, both within buildings and factories, and even outside as well; Artidax has the cleanest air quality of any district, if only because smog and pollution is damaging towards certain electronics and thus an economic liability.

Clean, smooth buildings and lights of various colors are awash in Artidax. Factories and assembly lines contain blank, white environments, completely clean and sterile of anything. Workers operate within special suits to prevent their own skin cells and hair from contaminating the computer chips they work on, operate, and repair. Before one can enter the work-place, their suit is quickly cleaned off in a chamber.

Artidax prizes cleanliness, sterility, and control; And in combination with its reliance on AI, it’s not the least-bit surprising that it’s also the primary home of the Vahki. Here, Turaga Dume has the most control over the district than anywhere else, and while other officials technically exist, Dume exercises the most power due to having a robotic army with which he can actually enforce his will with. Only the Powers That Be and their control over energy sources reins him in.

Cameras, either affixed to buildings or roaming the streets and skies as floating drones, monitor just about every movement, and are equipped with frequently-patched and updated facial recognition software. Worker ID cards are mandatory at all times, and transmit signals showing the exact movements and paths taken by individuals. Because everything is technological in Artidax, just about any interaction with the environment, from opening a door, to even flushing a toilet, is liable towards being known by the Vahki and other overseers.

Artidax is a surveillance state that monitors every move, a genuine dystopia, and while many giant screens advertise products, others also show off Dume’s visage while emblazoning his propaganda and speeches; Mantras such as “Trust in Turaga Dume”, “Obedience is Happiness”, “A busy Xian is a happy Xian”, “Quick work is good work”, “Turaga Dume sees all”, “Thoughts can be dangerous”, and “Might makes right” are well-known, repeated, and despised, but not openly in the latter of course.

As far as anyone is concerned within Artidax, Dume is ALWAYS watching; As a result, the District is not nearly as heavenly as one may assume, and the presence of Vahki around every corner ensures that they are quick to respond, but often brutally.

Factories constantly create computer chips that require skilled labor, making Artidax more difficult to move into as credentials are required. Computers are everywhere, controlling the fully-automated movements and actions of facilities, processing security footage, closing and opening doors, etc. Laser-grids are a prominent defense system, and the latest in AI and simulations are frequently developed and tested.

Many Xian engineers and technicians work day and night to truly replicate the power of the mind, but with none of the pesky individuality and free will that comes with it; Of course, one may argue that such things are inseparable from the human mind’s greatest assets. Thus, it is not uncommon for AI programs to develop self-awareness and their own personal will; Such incidents, amongst Vahki or consumer products, are to be quickly reported, detained, and reprogrammed, set to a blank slate through factory settings.

Machines are not the only things repurposed in Artidax, either; Simulations are useful, not only for training and entertainment purposes, but also brainwashing. Dume has invested plenty of resources into simulation technology and other forms of brainwashing that can allow him to totally over-write a person’s mind. Computer chips are developed that can be implanted into a host’s brain, controlling their thoughts and helping monitor them.

Political dissidents, criminals, and other deviants are frequently sent to Artidax to be ‘reconditioned’, and many have had their minds permanently damaged in both botched and successful brainwashing attempts. Many who are brainwashed are often used as spies, infiltrators, and saboteurs, leading the Vahki towards rebel and criminal cells and ratting them out.

Artidax technicians are also fascinated with the realm of the bridge where machine and living interact; Improvements are made on interfaces, including those that can interact with the neurology of a living being. Cybernetics are another vital part of Artidax’s industry and economy, with engineers working tirelessly, day and night to perfect mechanical limbs. Such limbs are of course already a technological feasibility, but they are generally restricted.

For many, prosthetic limbs are incredibly expensive. Most can’t just ‘own’ one, so they must resort to renting it out… And of course, this means selling one’s soul to a company. Because the company still owns the cybernetic limbs they grant a Xian, and if payments are not on time, they can come and revoke them. Likewise, Xians can be monitored both visually and with audio through their prosthetics, and Dume is interested in potentially mechanizing all of Xia’s workforce; Not necessarily by replacing them with machines, but replacing their bodieswith machinery. Control over a Xian’s mostly-cybernetic form can allow Dume to easily shut down or restrict power, and improve Xians to be more obedient, easier to keep track of, and become more efficient workers who lack sleep and nutrition.

There are already plenty of ‘converted’ cybernetic Xians who have had the vast majority of their bodies replaced with machinery, their brains implanted with various chips. These poor, brainwashed individuals are almost completely loyal to Dume and other masters, and like the Vahki can be subject to mandatory reconditioning. It is not uncommon for such mechanized Xians to be bought and rented as mercenary forces in Zakaz. Thankfully, the Powers That Be and other powerful Xians are wary of this total mechanization, if only because it can be turned against them through hacking.

And speaking of hacking- Such an industry is popular, although in many ways illegal, within Artidax. Hidden, back-alley shops and criminals rely on powerful hacking and ways of forcefully interfacing with technology to commit crimes, disable cameras, and hide internet movements. While Dume himself has official hackers to intercept radio transmissions and listen to them, others work to do to the same, but also interrupt HIS hacking, and even broadcast messages to the rest of Xia, messages of rebellion.

Viruses are also used by many in Artidax, and manufactured. Two types of Viruses are present; Computer viruses leak information, damage computers, sabotage and alter AI, and so on and so forth. There are people who are hired to test fire-walls in data to guard against viruses, or even employ such things, alongside worms, to commit crimes either in Artidax or beyond it.

But there is also another kind of Virus; A volatile, energy-based substance. These substances come in a wide number of varieties, with miscellaneous effects, properties, and results when mixed together or applied to different subjects. Some can cause a person’s being to liquefy, while others grant flight; Others enhance a person’s bio-electricity to shocking degrees, while others simply cast a person into a coma. These Viruses are properly refined, programmed, and crafted within various Virus Foundries across Artidax, and some are concentrated into powerful Xian Hearts; massive crystals that when detonated unleash massive elemental damage. A Xian Heart of Stone can petrify and fossilize all surroundings, while a Xian Heart of Poison burns and corrodes all away.

Transmission towers, satellite dishes, and computer banks both ferry the passage and transit of information, but also store it. Precious, vital information on economic records, individuals, and so forth are stored within heavily-guarded computer banks across Artidax. Flying drones that stray towards the atmosphere monitor weather movements and transmit data to towers and satellite dishes, where they are then relayed to news stations. Many of these news stations, unsurprisingly, are underneath Dume’s control and exist to transmit propaganda to the populace, although thankfully most Xians are distrustful of them anyway.

Xia possesses an ‘internet’ of sorts, from which Xians can contact with one another online through an internet whose servers are located entirely within Artidax. This internet is mostly used for communication, but has also been used to store information, videos, articles, and so forth; Many Xian technicians are intrigued in advancing the prevelance of the internet in Xia.

Messages travel through transmission towers, and most of them are carefully encrypted. It takes a skilled decoder and/or AI to translate many of them, as secrecy is both prized but also infiltrated regularly. Knowledge, information, and forecasts are calculated and discerned in Artidax, before transmitted to the rest of Xia. High-flying satellites and levitating probes scan and take overhead images of Xia to be analyzed and recorded on the daily.

Artidax is the AI mind of Xia, and many machines are ‘birthed’, gaining thought, sentience, and sapience here. While the occasional robot rebellion is not unheard of, most AI is made as products to be shipped and sold from Stelt, to aid companies in calculating profits, deciding the least risky venues, etc. Tactician AIs are sold to Zakaz, devising the most optimal combat strategies, and unsurprisingly, Dume has once again used these AIs as his own spies as well. Exo-Toa models are frequently designed, and improved within Artidax, with the technology that goes into them useful for cybernetics, as it interfaces with the very ‘soul’ of a person. While the physical bodies of Exo-Toa are crafted within Tametru, their ‘minds’ and complex programming, delicate circuitry, and neurology are manufactured within the neat, sterile, and bright rooms of Artidax. If Tametru specializes in the ‘body’ and hardware of Xia’s mechanization, then Artidax programs its ‘mind’ and software.

Due to the high level of advanced technology, but also as a result of Dume’s insistence of surveillance, bright lights are everywhere and there are few shadows. This makes hiding from the Vahki more difficult, and contributes towards massive light pollution. Massive glass-panes and mirrors help to expand visuals, but can be confusing for some. The work hours and days of Xians are rigidly organized and mandated. People wake up, eat, head to work, head back home, and go to sleep exactly as Dume intends, with mandatory curfews imposed upon areas of Artidax.

Originally, the region that would become the Artidax District was a cold, frozen, barren north, an ice-capped, mountainous area. However, the massive heat expenditures of computers and other technologies, combined with their relative fragility to such temperates, necessitated the movement of computer facilities in Artidax, where the colder temperatures could help off-set the heat and act as natural cooling fans. As more facilities were established within Artidax, more heat was generated, and while the ice helped cool it down, it began to melt… Until eventually, most of Artidax’s ice has since completely melted away. It is not completely gone, thankfully; Some areas have been set aside as real estate and homes for Xians who like the clean air, allowing for the natural accumulation of some nature and snow.

If one goes particularly high-up, near the atmosphere, they can encounter snow-flakes that eventually dissipate as they go lower. Atop Artidax’s peaks, the highest roof-tops, skylines, and transmission towers are water-proof to deal with the light snow-fall that lands atop them. Additionally, The Mountain exists within Artidax, devoid of settlements due to its living, devouring nature; Snowfall has been allowed to naturally settle on The Mountain’s peaks, with melted ice helping to hydrate the living fixture.

Artidax’s mainframe helps to transmit and allocate power amongst the district’s facilities, while the Vahki Hives themselves are connected to a massive mainframe that helps keep track of data, reconditions drones, and transports information to one another. No one AI or Super-Computer controls all of Artidax, thankfully, and the same can’t be totally said for Dume; such power would be disastrous and prone to abuse, and the Powers That Be know it could be used in the form of rebellion against them and the rest of Xia.

The Powers That Be have all agreed that Artidax’s securing of the vast majority of Xia’s information and records makes it incredibly vital; Knowledge is power, and so many individuals and groups contribute resources towards ensuring the protection of Artidax. If the District were to fall, it would not be from external forces, but likely internal ones; Be it computer Viruses, rogue AI, and skilled hackers.

While the district may seem clean, advanced, and ‘safe’, do not be fooled. Just as there are massive mirrors and simulations within Artidax, much of its appearance is smoke and mirrors; Mostly mirrors and almost no smoke. Its pristine environment is a gilded appearance, and when one scratches the surface, they will find total obedience, control, and slavery of one’s soul within. It may appear more enlightened, but Artidax is just as brutal and regressive in its lifestyle as any other part of Xia. Dume’s promise of Utopia is an illusion, in more ways than one, and many runners and criminals have been lured into powerful simulations designed to confuse and trick them while the Vahki rush in.

#bionicle #bionicle rae #artidax #xia #dume #turaga dume #vahki #worldbuilding #lore #viruses

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thecartoonuniverse · 6 years

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Sad about Adventure Time Ending and Looking for Something else to Watch?

Or just want to know about the new cartoons series coming up later this year or in 2019? Well, here’s a list! Let me just say we have a lot to look forward to...

2018

The Dragon Prince (September 14th, Netflix):

The Dragon Prince is an epic fantasy series by the head writer and director of Avatar: the Last Airbender. In the magical land of Xadia, magic comes from six primal sources. But when human mages create a seventh kind of magic, Dark Magic — they begin capturing and harvesting the unique magical creatures they need as ingredients. This sparks a catastrophic war between Xadia and the Human Kingdoms. Three kids from opposite sides of the conflict — two human princes, and the elven assassin who was sent to kill them — discover a secret that could change everything. They decide to join forces and go on an epic journey that may be their only hope of ending the war, and restoring peace to both their worlds.

Hilda (September 21st, Netflix):

Hilda follows the journey of a fearless blue-haired girl as she travels from her home in a vast magical wilderness full of elves and giants to the bustling city of Trolberg, where she makes new friends and discovers mysterious creatures who are stranger –and sometimes more dangerous– than she ever expected. Based on graphic novels by Luke Pearson, who storyboarded for Adventure Time.

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (November 16th, Netflix):

She-Ra and the Princesses of Power is the story of an orphan named Adora, who leaves behind her former life in the evil Horde when she discovers a magic sword that transforms her into the mythical warrior princess She-Ra. Along the way, she finds a new family in the Rebellion as she unites a group of magical princesses in the ultimate fight against evil.

3 Below (December 21, Netflix):

3 Below will focus on two royal teenage aliens and their bodyguard who flee a surprise takeover of their home planet by an evil dictator and crash land in Arcadia. Now on the run from intergalactic bounty hunters, they struggle to blend in and adapt to the bizarre world of high school all the while attempting to repair their ship so they can return and defend their home planet.

Care Bears: Unlock the Magic (Boomerang):

Care Bears: Unlock the Magic sends the Care Bears on the road for the first time, exploring never-before-seen areas surrounding Care-a-lot called The Silver Lining.

2019

Owl House (Disney Channel):

Owl House is a horror-comedy series that follows Luz, a self-assured teenage human girl who accidentally stumbles upon a portal to the Demon Realm. There she befriends a rebellious witch, Eda, and an adorably tiny warrior, King. Despite not having magical abilities, Luz pursues her dream of becoming a witch by serving as Eda's apprentice at the Owl House and ultimately finds a new family in an unlikely setting.

Amphibia (Disney Channel):

The show tells the story of Anne Boonchuy, a self-centered 13-year-old who is magically transported to the fictitious world of Amphibia, a rural marshland full of frog-people. With the help of an excitable young frog named Sprig, Anne will transform into a hero and discover the first true friendship of her life.

101 Dalmatian Street (Disney Channel):

101 Dalmatian Street is inspired by Dodie Smith's 1956 novel and Walt Disney's 1961 One Hundred and One Dalmatians. But it is has been updated and moved to contemporary London. It depicts the adventures of eldest Dalmatian siblings Dylan and Dolly, parents Doug and Delilah, and ninety-seven younger puppies, all with names beginning with "D", who live all by themselves at the titular address.

Infinity Train (Cartoon Network):

Infinity Train is about an intelligent, albeit frustrated, girl named Tulip who—for reasons unknown—is trapped on a train full of infinite worlds. Accompanied by conjoined robots Glad-One and Sad-One, Tulip is determined to solve the mystery of the train and find her way home.

Victor and Valentino (Cartoon Network):

In the small quiet town of Monte Macabre, two total opposite half-brothers search about the town for adventure and find strange and supernatural happenings with the help of their supernatural grandmother.

Thundercats Roar! (Cartoon Network):

Staying true to the premise of the original series, Lion-O and the ThunderCats — Tygra, Panthro, Cheetara, Wilykat, and Wilykit — barely escape the sudden destruction of their home world, Thundera, only to crash land on the mysterious and exotic planet of Third Earth. Lion-O, the newly appointed Lord of the ThunderCats, attempts to lead the team as they make this planet their new home. A bizarre host of creatures and villains stand in their way, including the evil Mumm-Ra, Third Earth’s wicked ruler who will let nothing, including the ThunderCats, stop his tyrannical reign over the planet.

Villainous (Cartoon Network Latin America):

Villainous is the story of Black Hat Org., run by Black Hat and his team of three less-villainous aides. Black Hat is trying to sell various evil inventions created by Dr. Flug and desperate to achieve his evil aspirations. However, things usually end up going wrong for him as the brilliant innovations tend to have small and often comical flaws. Has already been airing Orientation Videos and Shorts on YouTube for a while, but a pilot will be aired soon, with a full series hopefully to follow.

Golpea Duro ¡Hara! (Cartoon Network Latin America):

Golpea Duro Hara! (Hit Hard Hara!) is the story of Hara, the only female fighter in the world, and together with her friend Tesu, she fights against the discrimination suffered by the brutal men who populate the planet. But Hara has a hidden side: a vicious transformation that frustrates her plans!

Glitch Techs (Nickelodeon):

Glitch Techs is an adventure-comedy following two newly recruited kids as they battle video game monsters that come to life in the real world.

High Guardian Spice (Crunchyroll):

In High Guardian Spice, the lives of four fierce girls, Rosemary, Sage, Thyme and Parsley, converge at High Guardian Academy, the one place where they can stumble towards adulthood while becoming the heroes they’ve always admired. As they master the ways of battle and sorcery, our foursome form allegiances and comical kinships, uncover legacies and betrayals, and discover their true identities while preparing to protect the world from an ominous unknown threat.

Carmen Sandiego (Netflix):

In the upcoming animated series produced by Houghton Mifflin Harcourt, Carmen Sandiego is back and ready for a new crop of international capers packed with thrilling adventure and intrigue. This fresh take presents an intimate look into Carmen's past where viewers will not only follow her escapades but also learn WHO in the world is Carmen Sandiego and WHY she became a super thief.

Seis Manos (Netflix):

Set in Mexico in the 1970’s era, Seis Manos centers on three orphaned martial arts warriors who join forces with a DEA agent and a Mexican Federal to battle for justice after their beloved mentor is murdered on the streets of their tiny border town.

Last Kids on Earth (Netflix):

The Last Kids on Earth follows 13-year-old Jack Sullivan and a band of suburban middle schoolers who live in a decked-out tree house, play video games, gorge themselves on candy, and battle zombies in the aftermath of the monster apocalypse. It’s a hilarious series filled with wisecracking kids, crazy gadgets, a lifetime supply of zombies and giant-sized monsters.

Twelve Forever (Netflix):

The series centers on 12-year-old Reggie, whose desire to remain a child is so powerful it creates a fantasy world in which she never has to grow up. She’s joined by her friends Todd and Esther, who visit this amazing world to live out their superhero fantasies and escape the responsibilities of impending adulthood.

Wizards (Netflix):

Wizards brings together the three disparate worlds of trolls, aliens and wizards who have found themselves drawn to Arcadia. The final chapter of the Tales of Arcadia culminates in an apocalyptic battle for the control of magic that will ultimately determine the fate of these supernatural worlds that have now converged.

Young Justice: Outsiders (January 4th, DC Universe):

Young Justice: Outsiders is the third season of Young Justice. The backdrop for the season is described as being one that will touch on "all corners of the DC universe," and that certainly seems to be the case considering the sheer number of bad guys discussed and shown in the trailer. The team will be tasked with stopping a metahuman trafficking ring, as well as dealing with the "intergalactic arms race for control of these super--powered youths." You can also count on new heroes Arrowette, Spoiler, and Thirteen joining in the fight.

gen:Lock (January 2019, Rooster Teeth):

In gen:LOCK, Earth’s last free society is on the losing side of a global war, and recruits a diverse team of young pilots to control the next generation of mecha—giant, weaponized robot bodies. These daring recruits will find, however, that their newfound abilities come at no small cost. As Chase leaves behind his life as a fighter pilot to become the first candidate for the program, he finds his endurance, as well as his very identity, will be tested beyond anything he ever imagined.

Undone (Amazon):

Undone is a half-hour animated dramedy that explores the elastic nature of reality through its central character, Alma. After getting into a near-fatal car accident, Alma discovers she has a new relationship with time and uses this ability to find out the truth about her father’s death.

Close Enough (TBS):

Close Enough is a surreal take on transitioning from 20-something to 30-something. The show centers on a married couple juggling such everyday challenges as parenthood, friendship, ham theft, stripper clowns and choosing the right daycare. Was supposed to air in 2017 or 2018, but no word of a release date yet, so I assume it will be in 2019.

Hero High (February 14th, ???):

Not many details are known about this show, but it will be a Legend of Zelda high school parody. Source

Long Gone Gulch (Internet):

Two screwups, Snag and Rawhide, find themselves bestowed as the new Sheriff’s of a strange world adrift in an ever moving dust cloud. Long Gone Gulch holds the inhabitants of myths, urban legends and folklore from around the world. They travel through the land when they are needed and encountering all manner of adventures along the way.

Hazbin Hotel (???):

Hazbin Hotel is the story of Charlie, the princess of Hell, as she pursues her seemingly impossible goal of rehabilitating demons to peacefully reduce overpopulation in her kingdom. She opens a hotel in hopes that patients will be "checking out" into Heaven. While most of Hell mocks her goal, her devoted partner Vaggie, and their first test subject, adult film-star Angel Dust, stick by her side. When a powerful entity known as the "Radio Demon" reaches out to Charlie to assist in her endeavors, her crazy dream is given a chance to become a reality.

Gorillaz (Internet):

A ten-episode show based off of the fictional band. Might not be happening apparently.

2020

Solar Opposites (TBS):

Solar Opposites follows a family of aliens who leave their planet and settle in suburban America.

And that about covers it! Let me know if I missed any of the big ones!

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mostlysignssomeportents · 5 years

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Adversarial interoperability: reviving an elegant weapon from a more civilized age to slay today's monopolies

Today, Apple is one of the largest, most profitable companies on Earth, but in the early 2000s, the company was

fighting for its life

Microsoft's Windows operating system was ascendant

, and Microsoft leveraged its dominance to ensure that every Windows user relied on its Microsoft Office suite (Word, Excel, Powerpoint, etc). Apple users—

a small minority of computer users

—who wanted to exchange documents with the much larger world of Windows users were dependent on Microsoft's Office for the Macintosh operating system (

which worked inconsistently with Windows Office documents

, with unexpected behaviors like corrupting documents so they were no longer readable, or partially/incorrectly displaying parts of exchanged documents). Alternatively, Apple users could ask Windows users to export their Office documents to an "interoperable" file format like Rich Text Format (for text), or Comma-Separated Values (for spreadsheets). These, too, were inconsistent and error-prone, interpreted in different ways by different programs on both Mac and Windows systems.

Apple could have begged Microsoft to improve its Macintosh offerings, or they could have begged the company to standardize its flagship products at a standards body like OASIS or ISO. But Microsoft had little motive to do such a thing: its Office products were a tremendous competitive advantage, and despite the fact that Apple was too small to be a real threat, Microsoft had a well-deserved reputation for going to enormous lengths to snuff out potential competitors, including both Macintosh computers and computers running the GNU/Linux operating system.

Apple did not rely on Microsoft's goodwill and generosity: instead, it relied on reverse-engineering. After its 2002 "Switch" ad campaign—which begged potential Apple customers to ignore the "myths" about how hard it was to integrate Macs into Windows workflows—it intensified work on its iWork productivity suite, which launched in 2005, incorporating a word-processor (Pages), a spreadsheet (Numbers) and a presentation program (Keynote). These were feature-rich applications in their own right, with many innovations that leapfrogged the incumbent Microsoft tools, but this superiority would still not have been sufficient to ensure the adoption of iWork, because the world's greatest spreadsheets are of no use if everyone you need to work with can't open them.

What made iWork a success—and helped re-launch Apple—was the fact that Pages could open and save most Word files; Numbers could open and save most Excel files; and Keynote could open and save most PowerPoint presentations. Apple did not attain this compatibility through Microsoft's cooperation: it attained it despite Microsoft's noncooperation. Apple didn't just make an "interoperable" product that worked with an existing product in the market: they made an adversarially interoperable product whose compatibility was wrested from the incumbent, through diligent reverse-engineering and reimplementation. What's more, Apple committed to maintaining that interoperability, even though Microsoft continued to update its products in ways that temporarily undermined the ability of Apple customers to exchange documents with Microsoft customers, paying engineers to unbreak everything that Microsoft's maneuvers broke. Apple's persistence paid off: over time, Microsoft's customers became dependent on compatibility with Apple customers, and they would complain if Microsoft changed its Office products in ways that broke their cross-platform workflow.

Since Pages' launch, document interoperability has stabilized, with multiple parties entering the market, including Google's cloud-based Docs offerings, and the free/open alternatives from LibreOffice. The convergence on this standard was not undertaken with the blessing of the dominant player: rather, it came about despite Microsoft's opposition. Docs are not just interoperable, they're adversarially interoperable: each has its own file format, but each can read Microsoft's file format.

The document wars are just one of many key junctures in which adversarial interoperability made a dominant player vulnerable to new entrants:

Hayes modems

Usenet's alt.* hierarchy

Supercard's compatibility with Hypercard

Search engines' web-crawlers

Servers of every kind, which routinely impersonate PCs, printers, and other devices

Scratch the surface of most Big Tech giants and you'll find an adversarial interoperability story: Facebook grew by making a tool that let its users stay in touch with MySpace users; Google products from search to Docs and beyond depend on adversarial interoperability layers; Amazon's cloud is full of virtual machines pretending to be discrete CPUs, impersonating real computers so well that the programs running within them have no idea that they're trapped in the Matrix.

Adversarial interoperability converts market dominance from an unassailable asset to a liability. Once Facebook could give new users the ability to stay in touch with MySpace friends, then every message those Facebook users sent back to MySpace—with a footer advertising Facebook's superiority—became a recruiting tool for more Facebook users. MySpace served Facebook as a reservoir of conveniently organized potential users that could be easily reached with a compelling pitch about why they should switch.

Today, Facebook is posting 30-54% annual year-on-year revenue growth and boasts 2.3 billion users, many of whom are deeply unhappy with the service, but who are stuck within its confines because their friends are there (and vice-versa).

A company making billions and growing by double-digits with 2.3 billion unhappy customers should be every investor's white whale, but instead, Facebook and its associated businesses are known as "the kill zone" in investment circles.

Facebook's advantage is in "network effects": the idea that Facebook increases in value with every user who joins it (because more users increase the likelihood that the person you're looking for is on Facebook). But adversarial interoperability could allow new market entrants to arrogate those network effects to themselves, by allowing their users to remain in contact with Facebook friends even after they've left Facebook.

This kind of adversarial interoperability goes beyond the sort of thing envisioned by "data portability," which usually refers to tools that allow users to make a one-off export of all their data, which they can take with them to rival services. Data portability is important, but it is no substitute for the ability to have ongoing access to a service that you're in the process of migrating away from.

Big Tech platforms leverage both their users' behavioral data and the ability to lock their users into "walled gardens" to drive incredible growth and profits. The customers for these systems are treated as though they have entered into a negotiated contract with the companies, trading privacy for service, or vendor lock-in for some kind of subsidy or convenience. And when Big Tech lobbies against privacy regulations and anti-walled-garden measures like Right to Repair legislation, they say that their customers negotiated a deal in which they surrendered their personal information to be plundered and sold, or their freedom to buy service and parts on the open market.

But it's obvious that no such negotiation has taken place. Your browser invisibly and silently hemorrhages your personal information as you move about the web; you paid for your phone or printer and should have the right to decide whose ink or apps go into them.

Adversarial interoperability is the consumer's bargaining chip in these coercive "negotiations." More than a quarter of Internet users have installed ad-blockers, making it the biggest consumer revolt in human history. These users are making counteroffers: the platforms say, "We want all of your data in exchange for this service," and their users say, "How about none?" Now we have a negotiation!

Or think of the iPhone owners who patronize independent service centers instead of using Apple's service: Apple's opening bid is "You only ever get your stuff fixed from us, at a price we set," and the owners of Apple devices say, "Hard pass." Now it's up to Apple to make a counteroffer. We'll know it's a fair one if iPhone owners decide to patronize Apple's service centers.

This is what a competitive market looks like. In the absence of competitive offerings from rival firms, consumers make counteroffers by other means.

There is good reason to want to see a reinvigorated approach to competition in America, but it's important to remember that competition is enabled or constrained not just by mergers and acquisitions. Companies can use a whole package of laws to attain and maintain dominance, to the detriment of the public interest.

Today, consumers and toolsmiths confront a thicket of laws and rules that stand between them and technological self-determination. To change that, we need to reform the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, , patent law, and other rules and laws. Adversarial interoperability is in the history of every tech giant that rules today, and if it was good enough for them in the past, it's good enough for the companies that will topple them in the future.

(Crossposted from EFF Deeplinks)

https://boingboing.net/2019/06/07/lightsabers-for-trustbusting.html

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infloorheating-blog · 5 years

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The Most Common Mistakes People Make With HVAC

Participating in one of the many COOLING AND HEATING profession colleges out there is really important for those that are intending to have lasting jobs in the HEATING AND COOLING market. With certification from a certified college, you can be certain that you will have a gratifying COOLING AND HEATING career.

When the US economic situation went through a severe crisis drawing back in 2008, numerous economic experts forecasted that it would be the start of completion of the world's largest giant economy. The United States economic climate may have been struck hard, but it is not collapsing to pieces. To say that the US is mosting likely to spiral descending in the direction of financial void is simply unreasonable.

For all the negative economic rhetoric, the US is still the biggest giant economic situation in the world. There is no doubt that will recover from any kind of crisis. As well as recuperation is taking place now. Just check out all those buildings being put up across the country.

Building and construction, no doubt, is beginning to increase once again. And if the construction organisation is alive, HVAC jobs will certainly remain in need. Selecting an occupation as a HEATING AND COOLING service technician is definitely great choice for young people nowadays.

HVAC means "heating, ventilating, as well as a/c." A HVAC professional, therefore, cares for the heating, ventilation, and a/c systems of numerous establishments. HEATING AND COOLING specialists mount, repair, or keep HEATING AND COOLING systems.

Unlike carpentry or welding, A/C skills can not be learned from house workshops. Even if you have a HEATING AND COOLING tech papa, you will not comprehend essential HVAC expertise and Heating and Cooling Blaine also abilities by just viewing your old guy work. To develop A/C abilities, it is required to participate in HEATING AND COOLING trade colleges.

COOLING AND HEATING is rather a challenging area. You can not be an excellent HEATING AND COOLING technician if you do not have correct theoretical background. That is why mosting likely to a profession school is essential. What these colleges do is immerse students in HEATING AND COOLING theories.

Programs supplied in COOLING AND HEATING colleges may check out concepts of thermodynamics, fluid mechanics, and also warmth transfer. Having a great grasp of theory will, nonetheless, not suffice. Much like various other areas, an A/C specialist must likewise have good practical skills. That is why trade institutions engage their students in tons of hands-on courses entailing modern and updated HVAC tools.

HVAC wannabes must be wary in picking their college. There are some that do not have proper certification. Such colleges may use lower prices, however attending COOLING AND HEATING colleges doing not have sufficient accreditation may have severe repercussions.

First, it is a lot easier for those that have attended those schools with appropriate certification to land entry-level positions. The truth is that employers put their trust in candidates with exceptional qualifications. A person may show correct HVAC skills, but usually it matters extra to companies if the individual went to a certified institution.

One possible reason that companies have more self-confidence in potential customers from certified schools is training. Employers know that accredited colleges have programs that appropriately create pupils' abilities as well as self-confidence. They merely really feel safe with them.

Attending a certified institutions to discover A/C will certainly not just help graduates land entry-level placements effortlessly, yet will likewise assist them later on. You can, as an example, utilize your certification when you request higher placements. With qualification from a well valued HVAC profession institution, you can be sure that you will certainly be able to get advertised.

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kyaranflowers · 6 years

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islington plumber electrician builder

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Apple’s self-repair program for MacBooks: How much it costs, potential issues and more - Times of India

Apple’s self-repair program for MacBooks: How much it costs, potential issues and more – Times of India

Apple has recently expanded its DIY repair program to include MacBook Air and Pro laptops that are powered by the company’s proprietary M1 chipsets. The Cupertino-based tech giant has also confirmed that the newly expanded program will also include laptops with M1 Pro and Max processors. According to a report by The Verge, the repairability experts at iFixit (who dissects Apple devices regularly)…

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addanarticle · 2 years

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Apple Launches Do-It-Yourself Repairs For iPhone 13, iPhone 12 and iPhone SE

Apple on Wednesday followed through on its plans to begin publicly releasing repair manuals for some of its products, in addition to selling parts and tools online. The goal, the company said, is to allow iPhone owners an alternative way to repair their devices. The tech giant’s new program, called Self Service Repair, is starting out for US customers with Apple’s iPhone 13 line of smartphonesthe…

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divyabhashkar · 2 years

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pixel: Google Pixel will allow users to self-repair their smartphones

New Delhi: Google And iFixit Gathered for a self-repair program. The tech giant has partnered with iFixit and will offer repair kits for it Pixels Phone range. The company will offer repair kits for all Pixel smartphones launched in 2017. This means that Pixel 2 users will also be able to get a self-repair kit. The company adds that the original parts will be sold in the United States, Canada,…

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dsrajawat · 3 years

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Apple 'Self Service Repair' allows users to repair iPhones & MacBooks on their own

Apple ‘Self Service Repair’ allows users to repair iPhones & MacBooks on their own

Tech giant, Apple has announced Self Service Repair, which will allow customers to repair their iPhones & MacBooks on their own by having access to Apple’s genuine parts and tools. Under this program, expert users won’t have to take their devices to the Apple store or any other repair shop for getting them fixed. The program will begin with iPhone 12 and iPhone 13 line-ups and soon be followed…

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macnews-org · 3 years

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Shareholder resolution potentially pushed Apple to announce Self Service Repair

A recently filed shareholder resolution calling for Apple to reverse its “anti-repair practices” could have been a key factor in the tech giant’s surprise decision to launch a “Self Service Repair” program. Announced on Wednesday, the new initiative ostensibly allows customers to perform certain repairs on iPhone 12 and iPhone 13 devices, with plans to expand support to Macs with M1 chips.The…

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prismmarketingco · 3 years

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Apple will begin supplying parts to customers to enable them to fix their own devices, a substantial change for the tech giant, which has long insisted that only it could make repairs. Under a program called Self Service Repair, customers can buy kits with genuine Apple parts and instructions on how to fix their own products, the company announced in a blog post Wednesday. Starting early next year, the program will first launch in the U.S. for iPhone models 12 and 13, before expanding to certain Mac computers and other countries. The first kit releases will focus on “the most commonly serviced modules,” the iPhone display, battery and camera, Apple said, and will then expand to cover other features. (at Kingston, Jamaica) https://www.instagram.com/p/CWZEPX4LAf6/?utm_medium=tumblr

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satoshi-mochida · 3 years

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Inti Creates has released new information and artwork for Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX 2, its recently announced direct sequel to the Azure Striker Gunvolt spin-off game, introducing the game’s story, setting, and characters.

Get the details below.

■ About

Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX released back in September 2019, and Luminous Avenger iX 2 is its direct sequel coming to Nintendo Switch, PlayStation 4, PlayStation 5, Xbox One, Xbox Series X|S, and Steam on January 27, 2022!

This new game takes the original speedy and stylish 2D action gameplay to the next level as Copen rips through enemies with his new “Break-Shift” form. His new destructive capabilities makes the high-speed action more satisfying than ever!

Experience a new apeX of cutting-edge 2D action with Luminous Avenger iX 2!

This is our first big update about the game since its initial reveal at BitSummit a few weeks ago, so we have a lot of goodies to share with you today!

■ Story and Setting

Thanks to the efforts of Copen, the “Luminous Avenger iX,” the world is finally at peace.

It was during these peaceful times that Copen threw himself into his research.

Some time after his battles ended, Copen found himself in possession of a mysterious, rifle-shaped piece of tech called a “Blaster Rifle.”

Copen immediately began work on repairing and studying the device. While Copen was deep in the midst of his work, a wormhole suddenly appeared before him and drew him in.

The next thing he knew, Copen found himself in an unfamiliar place—a desert world where only mechanical beings known as “Workers” lived.

Copen, along with Lola and Kohaku who were sent there along with him, must search for a way home. They have the help of a Worker girl, Null, who leads them to a giant tower known as the “Grave Pillar” where the world’s secrets are said to lie. This is where their story begins..

Workers

They are descendants of labor robots created by humans. These intelligent robots continue to go by the name “Workers,” despite no longer serving their original purpose. Since they were created to restore the barren environment to one suitable for mankind, they have adapted to using human infrastructure. Many of the Workers have humanoid frames.

Grave Pillar

A tower left behind by the Workers’ “Creator.” It is said that all of the world’s knowledge is stored deep within. The pillar originally served as a test site for experiments to restore the environment. Its interior contains replicas of a variety of climates and terrains.

Gravekeepers

They are special workers with orders to guard the Grave Pillar. Both “Grave Pillar” and “Gravekeeper” were nicknames given by later generations of Workers.

■ Characters

Copen

“Then we’ll just have to break through. I’ll rip it open with my Razor Wheel. Stay back.”

The hero known as “Luminous Avenger iX” in his original world. Copen is a genius scientist of few words. His armor can change seamlessly between two forms.

—Break-Shift

Copen’s Break-Shift form was created to bring out the full potential of his new weapon, the “Razor Wheel.” It’s a power-focused form intended for close-range combat. Along with the “Recoil Dash,” a powerful tackle attack that can send enemies and obstacles flying, the Break-Shift can also be installed with new abilities such as the “Hyper Guard” which can drastically reduce damage taken.

—Bullit-Shift

Copen’s Bullit-Shift form is focused on speed and gives him access to the quick “Bullit-Dash” in mid-air. Thanks to instantaneous changes in composition and structure, Bullit-Shift is drastically faster than Break-Shift. However, its defensive capabilities are also considerably lower. To compensate for this weakness, it is programmed to instantly change to Break-Shift the moment before Copen takes damage.

Lola

“That’s where I come in.”

She’s an autonomous, self-aware robot created by Copen to assist him in battle. Lola is equipped with a weapon copy system capable of replicating enemy weapons using data she gathers in combat. She uses these weapons as she flies alongside Copen in battle. While she normally exists as a spherical robot, she can transform into a humanoid form known as “Idol Mode.” In this form, she performs songs that have the power to enhance Copen’s abilities. She has continued her career as an underground pop star in the parallel world, which brings lots of joy to the Workers.

Kohaku

“Geez! That was so messed up! You guys left me and Null behind!”

A super positive and energetic young woman, Kohaku finds herself trapped in the parallel world alongside Copen. Even in an unfamiliar desert world, Kohaku remains as positive as ever and can always be seen raising the spirits of her friends. Though she has a “knack” for repairing machines based on intuition alone, Copen has put a moratorium on her maintenance duties for the time being.

Null

“Oooh! I remember hearing about that.”

She is the new heroine of the Luminous Avenger iX series. Null is a Worker girl who takes care of Copen and the others after they are sent to her world. She has an innocent and sweet personality and is always polite to anyone she meets. As a Worker, she strives to be of use to humans, who are seen as kin to the Creator, and works full time to help out Copen and Kohaku.

■ Brand New Music Video Featuring Lola’s Japanese Voice Actor

The “Muse of Hope” herself, Lola, is back once again with a brand new music video! Just like we did for the first Luminous Avenger iX game, we have Lola’s Japanese voice actress, Ms. Mayu Mineda, performing songs from the game! Check out the title theme to Luminous Avenger iX 2, “Command Prompt”! (English subtitles are included in the video.)

Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX 2 is due out for PlayStation 5, Xbox Series, PlayStation 4, Xbox One, Switch, and PC via Steam on January 27, 2022

Watch the “Command Prompt” music video below. View a new set of images at the gallery.

youtube

#Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX 2 #Gunvolt Chronicles: Luminous Avenger iX #Gunvolt Chronices #Azure Striker Gunvolt #Gunvolt #Gematsu

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apptg554 · 3 years

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