#team fuck serkets

[art-izz-blog]

honestly man, complete mood 

(really sick of her ass 😒)

(no offence to anyone that’s a fan of her)

[thewertsearch]

EB: but in the end, you did it to help me, didn't you? EB: really, i should probably be thanking you! EB: uh… EB: are you there? AG: Yes, I am here. AG: Sorry, I wasn't sure what to say for a moment. AG: I am just so incredi8ly relieved you are not angry with me.

This is probably the first time anyone's ever appreciated Vriska’s 'help'.

She's used to (justified) hostility from the trolls. The idea that John would thank her is as alien to her as he is. She can barely comprehend it.

AG: I don't know, John. You'd 8e surprised how often people resent it when you try to help them! AG: 8ut see, you really get it. That's why you're special.

Well, hang on a second, Vriska.

Tavros resented you for a good fucking reason. Things aren't different because John's 'special', they're different because you're actively treating him better than your last apprentice.

Vriska enjoyed torturing Tavros. Maybe she did think she was ‘helping’ him, but she also knew it was a miserable experience for the guy. There was an undertone of sadism to it that can't be denied, no matter what her true intentions were.

Contrast this with John, who she killed painlessly in his sleep. She didn't torment him, she didn't gloat or insult him, and she went out of her way to make his death as comfortable as possible. Unlike Tavros, Vriska actually cares about John's well-being, and that's why he's more receptive.

John's thankful because he can tell that Vriska cares, and Tavros resented her 'training' because he knew she didn't. Does she really not grok the difference?

AG: I know how this is pro8a8ly going to sound, especially to a human. AG: 8ut I just killed someone.

And I think you’re having some very unwelcome feelings about it.

Just what is happening to you, Vriska?

AG: He was a friend. AG: Someone from our team. […] AG: The truth is I killed him 8ecause at the time, I thought I wanted to, and sort of felt like I finally had to.

I think you killed him because that's what you're trained for. Years of FLARPing with Terezi has trained you to deal with problematic trolls decisively and violently, and years of feeding your lusus has taught you that being a murderer is what defines you. From multiple directions at once, your instincts were screaming that it was time for Tavros to die.

And yet... you're saying you thought you had to kill him. You're not sure anymore - and thus, a small crack begins to form in your worldview.

Vriska Serket is beginning to change.

[insufferable-homestuck]

okay gotta spam post about the upd8 now, first of all, the panels did NOT disappoint, ily hs2 team you've never let me down

secondly, the serkets are suuuchhh fucking creatures i love them so much. theyre captured so good in this.

if you don't like hs2 that's fine but consider :

thang

[conceptofjoy]

i need elaboration on the strider-serket house.

ok so mindfang aint even interested in b!bro pitch ways but they keep getting on eachothers nerves and a!bro is like woah woah woah.. at least let me get my phone out first so i can upload this to live leak. and they all fucking hate each other.

vriska’s like holy shit mindfang and is like DAVE we are on opposite teams now!! im going to beat your ass! and hes like what the fuck??? dirk looses his glasses one day (HAL.) and is totally not freaking out. hal’s not responding either so he asks aranea if she knew where his shades are and this somehow devolves into a very loud argument that lasts hours. theyre not even sitting in one place theyre moving around into the kitchen and the living room dragging whoevers in there into it. hal’s chilling with vriska and dave talking about how they want to get the fuck out of here.

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

The top two characters will be eligible for entry into the bracket!

Propaganda under the cut.

Vriska Serket:

People love her! People hate her! People want to fuck her! People want her dead! It’s Vriska fucking Serket bby! No introduction needed.

she did nothing wrong but i guess you could bring up that time she mind controlled one of her friends to jump off a cliff permanently paralysing him and then later stabbed him through the chest with his own lance or that time she killed one of her other friends by mind controlling one of her friends or that time she blinded her best friend because said best friend blew up her magic artifact causing her to lose an arm and an eye. said best friend would later kill her and then thousands of pages later rework the timeline to not kill her. and then they kissed. shes also a mentally ill neurodivergent gay teenager living on murder death planet who was forced to murder lest her spider mom eat her for breakfast, basing her entire personality off her singular role model who was a fucked up pirate who lived a longass time ago. she has a redemption arc after dying and genuinely begins to heal from her traumas and work towards being a healthier and better person and then an alternate version of her gets created by aforementioned timeline reworking and shouts at her and steals her girlfriend. she did nothing wrong. she created so much discourse. i love her immensely. shes even vriska (vriska)

It's vriska. Need i say more?

It’s Vriska.

She had her own discourse tag (Vriscourse) due to all the crimes she did. These include murder (of enemies, friends, and strangers), a revenge sprial that led to her paralyzing one friend and blinding another, and literal mind control. She was one of the protagonists. Also one of the biggest problems that needed solving. A deeply hurt and desperate teenager, she tricked a lot of her team and a lot of the fanbase into thinking she was a shallow violent "spider8itch." She earned every last bit of vitriol she got. She was a scared lonely teenage girl. Her best friend (the one she blinded) murdered her. It was declared both a just and heroic death. It had to be undone with time travel because it was impossible to suceed without her. She had so much love to give. She delivered needless pain instead. She was a result of her society and unbringing. Her friends were not nearly as brutal as her. She's like if Azula ATLA had a sense of humor and was allowed to say fuck.

vriska serket ... she is still so controversial - hence the moral ambiguity yes she does do terrible things but consider: she has an evil spidermom that needs to be fed children and she lives on the imperialist militaristic kill planet ... is it any wonder she is so morally dubious ?

homestuck.com

Damara Megido:

Damara lives in a caste based society where blood colour is tied to lifespan. She is of the lowest colour and thus she’s already on the bottom of society. She speaks a language not widely understood by her acquaintances, except for her eventual boyfriend, Rufioh. Her boyfriend cheated on her, so she paralyzed him and he was turned into a head on a robot horse body by Horuss, the guy he was cheating on Damara with. He then feels awkward around Horuss. She was also bullied relentlessly throughout her youth by literal royalty. She killed her tormenting bully, Meenah, the lowest caste kills the highest caste. She becomes so estranged from her “friends” that it’s suggested she has entered into the service of the literal destroyer of the universe. At the same time, when interacting with “friends” she portrays herself in a very sexual, horny otaku fashion, and pretends not to understand people when they talk to her. Tragic girlboss to herself.

Rose Lalonde:

this is my... twelth or thirteenth submission? i think. and not going to lie its all blurring together for me but rose is my ultimate blorbo of all time. shes a lesbian nerd with a degree in wikipedia psychoanalysis she uses to call her friends gay. she ends up involved in the end of the world and makes a plan to destroy the main villain which involves her own death. she consorts with eldritch beings and succumbs to their grimdark influence. she is shtity to her friends and is very self important. she cares deeply for them. she is a flighty broad and she has a lot of snarky horseshit. said grimdark episode is after her mom dies. she gets stuck on a meteor for three years and ends up becoming a teenage alcoholic. she goes on her first date unsure its a date and totally wasted. she flies around blowing up the structures of innocent turtles and consorting with dark cosmic entities. she gets stabbed through the chest. she dies three times over the course of the comic. she even gets gay married. shes such a girlboss and look its homestuck of course shes problematic. ultimate blorbo ever. vote rose

Terezi Pyrope was submitted without propaganda, but I am familiar enough with Homestuck to attempt to write some myself. Here we go:

She dreams of becoming her alien society's equivalent to a prosecutor, whose job is basically just to murder criminals with little to no evidence. She gets involved in a huge revenge spiral between all her friends. She fucks over one of the main human characters and ends up creating one of the worst timelines because of it. Despite all that, she ends up working for good in the end, and helps that same main human character rewrite the entire history of three universes to create a more favorable result.

[pesterloglog]

Latula Pyrope, Meenah Peixes, Kankri Vantas, Porrim Maryam, Aradiabot, Vriska Serket, Sollux Captor, Aradia Megido, Equius Zahhak, Mituna Captor, Kurloz Makara, Cronus Ampora, Feferi Peixes, Meulin Leijon, Nepeta Leijon, Eridan Ampora, Rufioh Nitram, Damara Megido, Horuss Zahhak, Karkat Vantas, Tavros Nitram, Gamzee Makara, Terezi Pyrope

Act 6, page 5427

LATULA: wooooo, 4w y34h grlz, h34rd you w3r3 st4rt1ng 4 p4rty ov3r h3r3??? >XD

MEENAH: no its not a party its...

KANKRI: Hm. I see s9me9ne has ch9sen t9 dress as a pirate f9r this party, in spite 9f the negative ass9ciati9ns that the 9ld marauding classes have with vi9lent a6use, 9ppressi9n, n9t even t9 mention

MEENAH: ARRRRRGH DUD-E GTFO

LATULA: yo porr1m! n1c3 costum3! w4y to ch4ng3 1nto someth1ng on such short not1ce. H1 F1V3!!!!

PORRIM: What? No+, this isn't a co+stume. It's just what I was wearing. I came o+ver here to+ see what all the co+mmo+ti+n was about.

LATULA: d4mn grl you just look1ng f1n3 for th3 h3ll of 1t th3n! GRL POW3R!!!

PORRIM: Uh... sure. So+ this is a party? So+unds like fun!

MEENAH: no its not a party gfd 38(

ARADIABOT: lets annihilate them

ARADIABOT: yes lets. i am in the m00d t0 ruin s0meb0dy

VRISKA: Right on! I knew I could count on you crazy metal 8roads for some mayhem.

SOLLUX: hey aradia, uh... y0ur rob0 clones l0ok like they're ab0ut to flip the fuck 0ut. they're making me nervous, eheheh. can you try talking s0me sense into them?

ARADIA: sorry sollux my robotic duplicates have always been free agents totally exempt from my influence and better judgement

ARADIA: equius do you think you can calm them down?

EQUIUS: D --> They are pernickety devices

EQUIUS: D --> Often sweat seeps into their circuitry and causes them to behave more erratically

EQUIUS: D --> Which unfortunately only causes me to sweat even more profusely, I am afraid

ARADIA: equius weve never talked about it but im not sure how comfortable i am with you um... courting such a great plurality of my mechanical doubles

EQUIUS: D --> On a scale of 1 to 100, how depraved would you say you find my behavior?

EQUIUS: D --> (please be 100, please be 100...)

ARADIA: i never should have kissed you that time it was such a mistake :(

EQUIUS: D --> (I NEED A TOWEL)

EQUIUS: D --> (A NEW ONE I MEAN)

MITUNA: HA7H 4NYW0NG 533N MY H4ML37

KURLOZ: :o)

MITUNA: 000H WH04 N1C3 C057UM3 8UDDY

KURLOZ: :o)

CRONUS: (be quiet. by saying anything youre really making a horrible impression on people we should be trying to impress here.)

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY

CRONUS: (ill forgivwe you, but this is the last time i evwer do. im at my vwits end with you.)

MITUNA: 1M 50RRY PL3453 PL3453 F04G1V3 M3 4G4IN

FEFERI: GLUB! (whoops, i mean glub. oh gosh, it's my ancestor!)

FEFERI: (i'm so nervous, i can't let her notice me. she's so unbubbleivably cool! *swoonami*)

MEENAH: (ah snap its my ancestor. wish i didnt notice her)

MEENAH: (must... suppress... urge... to murder her for royal supremacy omg)

MEULIN: (^·ω·^) < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

NEPETA: :33 < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

MEULIN: (^·o·^)/ < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

NEPETA: :33 < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

MEULIN: (=^ω^=) < 333333333!!!!!!!!!

ERIDAN: wwhoa man could you maybe stop bumpin me wwith your codpiece

CRONUS: sorry chief, honest misake. so are you doing anything later?

ERIDAN: wwait are you actually seriously hittin on me

ERIDAN: wwoww dude evven i think youre trash

CRONUS: im a cool enough cat if you get to know me. you didnt ansvwer the question.

ERIDAN: sigh fine lets go out on a date i guess. flippin amazin this tragic scenarios wwhat i been reduced to

MEENAH: H-EY! everyone stay on the right goddamn sides. cronus im lookin at you

VRISKA: Yeah! Nepeta, 8ack in line. You people need to start taking this 8rawl more seriously.

RUFIOH: yo my gangstas! d1d 1 hear you were go1ng off to f1ght a ghost k1ll1ng demon...

RUFIOH: m1nd 1f 1 tag along... 1've been hop1ng for a chance to put an end to my cruel joke of an ex1stence... haha... bangarang.

VRISKA: Hell yes! On this team I have a MAJOR need for expenda8le people.

MEULIN: (^·o·^) HORSEBODY!RUFIOH, DON'T BE SUCH A DOWNER! DIDN'T YOU GET THE MEOWMO? THIS IS NOT A CATFIGHT, IT'S A COSTUME PURRTY!!!

MEENAH: no no it really is a catfight. or i mean a regular fight... urrgh

KANKRI: Meulin, it w9uld 6e great if y9u didn't use this party as a platf9rm t9 engage in suicide shaming. I think Rufi9h is triggered en9ugh as it is having t9 live with the hein9us 69dy 9f a metal h9rse.

DAMARA: これは何? ハロウィーンの乱交? [What is this? A Halloween orgy?]

VRISKA: Are you fuckers deaf???????? This 8n't a party!

MEULIN: (^._.^) ...

PORRIM: Ho+rrus, yo+ur o+utfit lo+o+ks nice, but so+rry to+ say it was a false alarm. It's no+t a co+ stume party.

HORUSS: 8=D < This isn't a costume. I am literally a majestic stallion, and my appearance refle% this noble reality.

PORRIM: Ah. Go+tcha. Hey guys, can I be o+n the o+ther team?

KANAYA: Yes!

MEENAH: no!!!!!!!!!!

KARKAT: THIS GATHERING HAS COMPLETELY BLOWN AWAY MY ABILITY TO TOLERATE STUPIDITY AND AWFULNESS. GET ME THE FUCK OUTTA HERE.

KARKAT: GOD DAMN IT. THE CROWD IS GETTING TOO THICK, I CAN'T EVEN GET AWAY FROM THIS SHIT. EVERYBODY FUCKING MOVE!!!

TAVROS: eXCUSE ME, oTHER PEOPLE,

TAVROS: wHO ARE ME, aND OTHERWISE,

GAMZEE: honk.

TAVROS: hAVE YOU SEEN, a BEAUTIFUL TREASURE ON THE FLOOR,

TAVROS: tHAT IS MORE SPECIFICALLY A RING,

TEREZI: K4RK4T, SHUT UP, TH1S 1S GR34T!

TEREZI: W3 N33D TO G3T MOR3 P3OPL3 J4MM3D 1NTO TH1S SW33T F1GHTP4RTY M4SQU3R4D3! >:]

[poststhatcrackmyegg]

Homestuck 2 is so good. I was reading the new updates for vriska's whole thing (both of em cause i didn't relaize you had to empty your cache to make it work) and honestly from the bottom of my heart Oh My God........Holy Shit Gang..........I've never rekated to anyone's growing up struggle more than in this moment but at the same time i need to not Kin Vriska fucking Serket. Good job homestuck two team my hats off to you.

[red-elric]

theres a bloodswap au in my head the last few days...... general concept is swapping the sister zodiac signs (so aries/libra, taurus/scorpio, etc) and the roleswapped team charge vs team scourge is driving me CRAZYYYY u have no idea. doing it like terezi megido/vriska nitram/aradia pyrope/tavros serket where the kids have the same powers and grow up in the same situation as their counterpart (and swapped horns) BUT keep most of their personality themes weapons etc. and urgh yall ive NEVER had so many thoughts about tavros and vriska in my LIFE. tavros serket who has to kill to feed spidermom but works with aradia to find kids who are already dying or really awful ppl. and hes doing his best to convince himself hes still a good person and he HAS to do this and hes not evil for it! but hes also very brash in all the wrong ways, he gets easily riled up into reactionary behavior and while that sort of thing was justified for tavros nitram as a serket it can get. scary. vs vriska nitram who is still a shitty awful person and says terrible things to all of her friends and cant decide if she wants them to love her or hate her but this time she has a point. because tavros is a massive fucking hypocrite and shes the one in the class of people affected by him. because its lowbloods you find dying on the street its always lowbloods and hes using her people as FOOD. and he doesnt even have the globes to admit thats what hes doing

[canigetuuu]

that skater au gave me brain worms so. just. take whatever this is. I'm so tired.

John

started figure skating young

his dad was a genial and well respected business manager at a rink in Washington sponsored by the prestigious Skaianet Systems Inc, which brought major players like the vaulted Roxanne Lalonde to Olympic gold stardom

he's just a decent man though, trying to support his family

he brought John to the rinks sometimes and taught him to skate just for fun

however, John soon started showing a prodigious talent for it, and Dad Egbert was so so proud of him for it

John liked skating well enough at the time, and was kind of hoping that maybe if he took up skating his dad would axe the whole harlequin thing

(which he did)

(mostly)

at sixteen, after winning a few pretty impressive medals in the junior category, John was ready to call it quits and retire the professional skates

Tragically, however, it was around this time that James "Dad" Egbert, who had always been so supportive of John's skating, died very suddenly.

John grieves in a very particular way. He often gets (home)stuck in a version of denial which often looks like radical acceptance.

He is in fact actually very fucked up right now.

Vriska Serket, a young and notorious athlete turned coach who John had been working with for the last year or so at that time, pulls a Vriska, and hamfists John back into skating.

With her guidance, John becomes one of THE top US figure skaters, and at age 21 is ready for his second foray into the Olympic scene.

The winter Olympics are in less than a year, and John has taken up training in Vancouver...

Dirk

took up street hockey as a teen in his home town of Houston, Texas with his kid brother Dave, who said it was the height of irony to play a winter sport in the hottest place this side of satans tight asshole

Dave never liked it as much as Dirk did though

probably because Dave liked not fainting from heat stroke

I know, Dave is so weird

It got them out of that apartment though.

... (<- Bro silence being very loud)

Anyway

At 16, Dirk got scouted by a pale man in a suit working for a company called Abraxas, which he said was looking for young athletes to sponsor. <- very believable

That's very rude. I never lie.

And please, call me Doc Scratch.

Is it normal for traveling salesmen to have doctorates?

Oh it's not a title, though I imagine it would be very easy for me to acquire one. Haa haa, hee hee.

...

Things got very messy and horrible very quickly.

Events culminated in an extremely high profile law suit, where Dirk and many other athletes were represented by the Pyrope Firm to take down Abraxas, Doc Scratch, and his boss Lord English (H3'S SO PR3T3NTIOUS, UGH) and to free them all from their horrifying contracts

Pyrope won.

For now.

At age 18, Dirk had a scandal behind him, a kid brother to take care of beside him (the Bro silence got quieter), and a veritable mountain of legal reparations ($$$) to get him into any college he wanted.

...

dude, just go to the hockey school

I could support you better with a law degree.

After Dave had to go to the hospital due to the force of his laughing fit giving him a hernia, Dirk decided to go to the hockey school.

He joins the team there, and does well enough to get into the Big Leagues once he graduates with a combob philosophy/comp sci degree.

the Big Man. he is you

Dave, despite having a literal athlete brother, still has no idea how sports work.

And neither do I, so just assume that Dirk does really well and gets on a good team and is very normal about everything.

He is especially normal when, at age 24, he has to move to Vancouver, Canada since he got swapped to a different team and Dave doesn't come with him.

DUN DUN DUUUUUUUn

Bonus notes

Rose is John's friend who is also a figure skater. She's got a very turbulent relationship with her mother, former Olympic skater Roxanne Lalonde, which drags down her genuine love for skating with the weight of legacy.

John and Dave are internet friends who don't know each other's last names, and while John knows a lot about Dave's life, he keeps his own private.

Dirk started playing hockey not for the ironies like Dave thought but because his online friend Jake said he thought hockey players were cool, and Dirk had a crush on him.

Dirk and Jade went to the same college (she was home schooled and started college early) and took a robotics class together for two semesters. They're still friends to this day, though Jade actually is an engineer now.

Guess where she's interning.

(Psst, it's Skaianet)

Vriska stopped being a skater after a string of incidents involving two other former skaters and a lawyer, which resulted in her being banned from ever competing again. One is now in a wheelchair and the other quit the ice skating thing completely. Ghosted it, if you will. wonk.

Aradia is a roller derby skater, and she is incredibly hot. She might show up in the hypothetical actual fic i write for this au. Because I love her.

Me being me i'll probably find a way to include everybody else in this au, but for now, that's all. Ta.

[thefinalbracket]

UM. SHIT.

I DIDN’T. PLAN FOR A. LOSER’S BRACKET. I DIDN’T KNOW THAT WAS A THING. FUCK. UM. HERE’S THE SIXTEEN DUDES WE HAD ON STANDBY.

I’LL GET TO THEM, I’LL GET TO THEM. Okay, so, who the hell expects a LOSER’S BRACKET in a FIGHT TO THE DEATH??? WHAT ARE THE LOSERS GONNA DO? RATTLE THEIR BONES?

So that means I’m going to have to GET REAL FUCKING CREATIVE, so here’s a BUNCH of LOSERS we just had. THE UNDERSTUDIES, if you will. THE FINAL TWO WILL FIGHT ON THE SAME DAY AS OUR ACTUAL FINALISTS, AND THEN WE’LL HAVE A REAL FINALE. Good? GOOD.

HERE’S THE MATCHES:

MISS PIGGY vs VRISKA SERKET

BELLA GOTH vs CALLIOPE MORI

MAX vs ELMO

SIMON SEVILLE vs SWIPER THE FOX

DOLLY PARTON vs MARTH

METAL GEAR SAHELANTHROPUS vs CROCUTA CROCUTA

COUGHING BABY vs WILLIAM AFTON

JESSE PINKMAN vs FIGHTING POLYGON TEAM

Uh. Yeah. HERE’S THE ACTUAL GUY’S PICTURES, IT’S - god this is a mess - HERE YOU GO!!!

MISS PIGGY from THE MUPPET SHOW

DOLLY PARTON from COUNTRY MUSIC

COUGHING BABY from THE ICU

MAX from SAM & MAX

SIMON SEVILLE from THE CHIPMUNKS

JESSE PINKMAN from BREAKING BAD

METAL GEAR SAHELANTHROPUS from XOF

BELLA GOTH from PLEASANTVIEW

CALLIOPE MORI from CAUCASIAN

CROCUTA CROCUTA from THE SAVANNAH

FIGHTING POLYGON TEAM from SUPER SMASH BROS.

SWIPER THE FOX from DORA THE EXPLORER

ELMO from SESAME STREET

THE MAN BEHIND THE SLAUGHTER from GAME THEORY

MARTH from FIRE EMBLEM

VRISKA SERKET from HOMESTUCK

[lotarclasspects]

The Heir Class Eludes Me.

In the spirit of making less structured posts, but which are more frequent. I thought I might put my current thoughts and speculations to this public page, so that people who want to come along on this journey with me may benefit from it instead of this sitting in my drafts. I have been reading Homestuck again. And in short (because this isn't the time for that) my theory on Classes matches my theory on Aspects. That, like many things in Homestuck, they are terms for Literary tropes, framed in the context of appearing visually like a Video Game. The Active and Passive pairings do have some credence, but ultimately the root of what a Classpect is supposed to be getting at, is in this understanding. As a result, i've been going over my thoughts on them, and in rereading the comic, reading and analysing things carefully to make sure that my conclusions aren't made from shaky foundations. But I have been pretty confident in my understanding of the Heir Class. Until Now. I have always understood the Heir to be shorthand for "Chosen One Hero", who is helped and protected by their aspect in earlier stages, but who then grow into it and are able to take mastery of it for themselves. Growing into their own shoes as it were. Breath being the aspect of Journey, Quest, and Plot Momentum, it makes sense that Homestuck's "Main Character" John Egbert, has the Breath aspect and is also an Heir. One of the more "Classic Heroes". And we see Heirs of this sort a lot, in fiction and in fairytale. The King Arthur, the Luke Skywalker, The Eragon, The Avatar Aang, The Superman (as opposed to the Batman, who is more martial etc will go into later). But because Homestuck likes to play around with the understanding of these Roles, and has a few dichotomies of "This character Carries this title and is seen as such by others but their Real title is different" eg. Rose and Jade as the "Witch and the Seer" but swapped, and Feferi and Eridan as "The Princess and the Wizard being the Witch and the Prince" I bring this up because whilst a good Heir is easy enough to understand, and recognise in collective Mythos. I reached Equius. Jesus Christ. This guy is Snobby, this guy is Rigid, this man is (in his first introduction) a "Bigger Douche Than Karkat". Controlling over Nepeta, Classist, Weird about Aradia. How the fuck is this guy in the league of Chosen One Heroes do I need to go to square One Here? But then it hit me. Every class and aspect has the capacity for great good or great evil. Even the benevolent healer "Sylph" class (Passive MAKE) has fucking Aranea Serket in it. Whilst "Chosen One Heroes" almost Exclusively are "good" in fiction. What would a shitty evil one look like? Genuinely what the fuck would that look like. Unlike John, who is earnest. And Mituna, who is also quite bubbly, friendly enough, (havent gotten up to that point yet) and made a great sacrifice to save his friends (potential follow up here considering Doc Scratch once implied for John "when he dies, it won't be as a scoundrel") Equius is controlling, rigid. If he is an "heir" as in "future King" he definitely wields that shit about whenever he can to flaunt his superiority. Is "evil king" possibly what we're looking at here? Though Prince is usually reserved for dicky controlling nobles. However as his story progresses, Equius is shown to actually enjoy being "bossed around". Influenced by others, as it were. Positing Aradia (Maid, Heir's counterpart in current theory system) as the secret true leader, whilst he's the On Paper leader. Contrasting the Knight/Seer duo of Karkat and Terezi on the red team. It's fairly established that Maids start out being burdened and stifled by their aspect, have some drastic transformations, before settling back into their role but on their own terms. Maids are also said to "tidy up", Managing their aspect. Equating to both Maid as Maiden and Maid as Servant. I wonder if, if Maids Manage their aspect as the Active conterpart to the Heir, Are Heirs managed BY their aspect?

Could this count in terms of understanding their paths and what their roles mean? Davesprite says of John, that he is easily influenced until he's Not. But is the Not coming from him being a Hero of Breath (notably flighty and hard to pin down) and the influence being him as an Heir? or something else. I'm not sure of Mituna yet but he is definitely used by a lot of people. Perhaps Equius yielding, and enjoying uh. I'll call it "Being Influenced" by people, a way of separating the concepts of His Caste, and His Class? Perhaps though if we are to understand the Blood Classes of alternia as being influenced by Scratch to make it easier for the Players by enforcing Aspect Specific Behaviour onto them, perhaps this too, is true for Classes. Rusts being servants, Ceruleans being stealy generally. Teal being about Law. Who knows. But if this is true perhaps I should try and learn what the Indigo Blue Caste is actually about, and try to differentiate the parts significant to Void, and the parts significant to Heirs. If I do, I'll surely write about them here. Though I don't want to make a definitive Heir specific post until I'm a bit more sure of the thought process here. Come to think of it, Post Scratch John Crocker was "a very carefree guy" for most of his life. Does this link to Breath, or Heirs. hmmmmm.

[broadway-vriska]

Oh would you look at that! Another surprise. This is Magnum opus two, one queued for a much later d8 to jump scare you all ::::)

Whoa-oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Down on your knees before the queen

Whoa-oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Down on your knees before the queen

Well, Vriska Serket wasn’t a popular bitch (mm-hm)

but she was the flarp captain, plus she was rich (oh, yeah)

That girl had everything, threw me offa cliff

Tavros Natram lost his legs in the wreck (amputated)

The nominations for team leaders had come (uh-huh)

Our Vriska had a plan, and queen was her claim (uh, duh)

She decided killing Jack Noir was her game

Terezi Pyrope, soon my death came (Stabbed right through)

"Vriska, " my mother said, "Life is a game"

"Don’t worry I know you must feel the same"

You taste the glory Vriska, you taste godtier

You thirst for blood from the enemies, yeah

Whoa, you spoil for sash and scepter, both black and white

As they crown you queen of Alternia

Go Vriska, win Vriska, cheer for Vriska Serket

Go Vriska, win Vriska, cheer for Vriska Serket

So obsessed, our Vriska near lost her mind (Go Vriska, win Vriska, cheer for Vriska Serket)

To life un-game related, Vriska was blind (Go Vriska, win Vriska, cheer for Vriska Serket)

She shoved her friends, her shit, her hobbies behind

I just couldn’t bear not to be the best (poor, poor, Tavros)

Soon my own sanity was hung by a thread (Go Vriska, win Vriska, cheer for Vriska Serket)

Ny B.F.F.'s proclaimed  me socially dead (Go Vriska, win Vriska, cheer for Vriska Serket)

'Til then, at last, Terezi Pyrope had enough (Go Vriska, win Vriska, cheer for Vriska Serket)

"I'm taking you out of the equation" (love, love, Tavros)

"Vriska, " my friends said, "Why be so mean?"

"There's just no future for a sad bitch like you"

You taste the glory Vriska, you taste godtier

You thirst for blood from you enemies, yeah

Whoa, you spoil for sash and scepter, both white and black

As they crown my queen of Alternia

Whoa-oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Down on your knees before the queen

Whoa-oh-oh-oh, ooh, ooh

Down on your knees before the queen

Some girls are rational but Vriska was not

She stared in mirrors thinking one single thought (Tavros)

There's several reasons this game's not good as got (Sol, Terezi, Eridan, Aradia)

And so my life went thus, mercy, thus went my plot (Fuck them all, yeah screw em)

"G" is for the Game, the thing that I will win

"A" is for Aradia blown to bits

"M" is for the moirail that couldn’t shooshpap me

And "E" is how easy it was to kill that pissblood

But, but!

"Q" is for Quitting, never, don’t be a fool

And "U" is for all of you who ever doubted me

But "E's" are for the easy way in five minutes tops

A blinded girl can bring an "N" for

End by killing her friend (what a bitch)

You got your glory Vriska, you got godtier

You got your blood on the robes you wear

Whoa, you donned the sash and scepter, doing a dance

As you crowned you queen of Alternia

Woah-oh-oh-oh

God save the queen

Down on your knees before the queen

God save the queen

Whoa-oh-oh-oh

The queen of the game

Down on your knees before, the queen of Alternia

She stripped you of your glory, she took my life

But I’m still the baddest bitch in the land

Woah, right into the dreambubbles, raise a ghost army

Screaming, "I don’t regret a single thing!"

At least in your head, you're queen of Alternia

Oh, pity the dead, I’m queen of Alternia

Go Vriska, win Vriska, cheer for Vriska Serket

Go Vriska, win Vriska, cheer for Vriska Serket

[agwic]

my opinions on post-canon homestuck

i see so many opinions on this mess. always. but especially now that it's back. and most of these opinions are bad. so here i am, to grace the world with my objectively correct take, which is that post-canon homestuck is bad exclusively because it does not include best spidertroll aranea serket.

PART 1: OVERALL OPINIONS

ok more seriously(but no less pretentiously and arrogantly, this is homestuck after all) i did in fact enjoy reading the epilogues and hs^2 and was sad to see it go. im unsure if i thought it was good, but i would rather it exist than not exist, and if that doesn't mean it was good, what does? I do think this new team will probably do a better job though. that doesn't mean im glad the old team got harassed off the project, obviously. ugh i dont know what crowd im pandering to with this. if i start with what i disliked about post-canon homestuck, it'll scare off the people who liked it, even though i think they're on the right side of this fandom conflict. but if i start with what i liked, it'll scare of the people who hated it, who make up a majority of the fandom, and also have quite a few good points. i guess ill just assume the crowd which was more charitable to post-canon homestuck will also be more charitable to me, and start with what i disliked.

PART 2: CANONICITY

is post-canon homestuck canon? the epilogues say that they're "outside canon" but not "non-canon". this is a shitty answer and anyone with the pattern recognition skills necessary to recognize a double negative can tell. i feel like the epilogues knew this was a shitty answer, but that doesn't mean i don't want a better answer. maybe we'll get a better answer, eventually. now, the correct answer is that post-canon homestuck is not canon, but still has a bearing on canon. because that's the only answer that doesn't cause several issues. like, if they're just fully non-canon, basically just fanfiction, then that would open up a gaping plot hole in homestuck, of "hey wait what about the masterpiece and lord english". some people think you can just ignore this fact, but i am not one of those people. on the other hand, if they're just fully canon

PART 2.5: THEY DESERVED A HAPPY ENDING

hey wasn't the intermission after act 3? do i need to rearrange this post to be a weird meta reference to the act structure of homestuck? the answer to one of those questions is yes and the other is no, but getting more into that is for another section. anyways yeah, the title kinda says it all. what was the point of homestuck if, after all that, they opened the door to the new universe, and shit just kept happening. this is also why you can't handwave that earlier plot hole with "oh they just went back to handle it at some point and died" because that doesn't sound like a happy ending to me. and if they don't get a happy ending after all that, then homestuck just becomes a neverending black hole of infinite cynicism, which i am not a fan of and would be horrible. and even if, after all of the post-canon bullshit, they get another happy ending, who's to say that happy ending won't be ruined for no good reason like their last one was? i mean other than the fact that they'll presumably be out of classpects by then. oh that's another reason this can't be wholly non-canon, we need those classpects. someone needs to explain to me what a sylph is and kanaya did a pretty shit job at it if im being honest, and im sure aranea would have had a good explanation but they fucking erased her from existence so.

PART 2.5.5: MY HEADCANONS! NO!

that's not how numbers work. but anyways, another reason declaring this as wholly canon would be shitty is that post-canon just kinda stomps over a lot of headcanons for little reason. trans girl roxy, for instance. also people who think jade doesn't have a dog dick exist and are quite loud but they're not me so they don't matter. let's talk about trans girl roxy. or not, since all there is to say on the matter is that roxy is a trans girl. i could go into why i have this headcanon but does it matter? does any of this matter? no not really. but im sure you have some headcanon which post-canon invalidates for no reason, so you can empathize with me here.

PART 3: VRISKA DID SEVERAL THINGS WRONG

alternate title: "kate mitchell did in fact have some bad takes". this could be folden into the previous sub-section but vriska's too important for that. actually fuck no, vriska isn't important at all. you know who is important? the answer is aranea in most scenarios, but in this case, the answer is tavros. when hussie glorified vriska and shat on tavros, it felt like a joke, like literally everything hussie ever did. when kate glorified vriska and shat on tavros, i got the impression she genuinely believed the shit she was spewing. now, did she deserve to be harassed for her horrible takes? obviously not, that would be something vriska would do, and thus hypocritical. especially the blatant lies, because wow i just googled "kate mitchell homestuck" and people are lying even more blatantly about her now that they were back when hs^2 was ongoing? anyways this section isn't about kate mitchell, it's about vriska, and by that i mean it's about tavros. speaking of tavros am i literally the only person on earth who projected onto tavros while reading homestuck? like i rarely get the impression that other people are actually sympathetic to tavros, they all just see him as pathetic. which makes me sad. even though he is pathetic. oh vriska also did another thing wrong, which was indirectly cause aranea to metamorphosize into a piece of sh

PART 4: THE META SHIT

despite the title for this section including the word "shit" we're now onto the good parts of post-canon homestuck. because the meta shit was genuinely entertaining to me, and also i've seen enough analysis of it to know that it's not just surface level bullshit trying to look interesting. it's been long enough since i read the epilogues that i probably couldn't contribute anything to that discussion but i have it on good authority that this is good and not just my brain activating whenever i see meta shit and/or time travel. oh also this is the section where i was supposed to talk about structuring this post based on homestuck but im not doing that

PART 5: HOMESTUCK WASN'T OVER

this kinda contradicts one of the earlier sections. but it's true. there were several plot threads left hanging by the end of homestuck proper. most notably caliborn's masterpiece, the defeat of lord english, and the four missing classpects. the meat epilogue handily dealt with those first two, and if hs^2 doesn't deal with that last one i am going to track down andrew hussie and silently hand to him a strongly worded letter while holding a butter knife. i know i already said this but it bears repeating. i need to know what a sylph is. so that i can write my 10,000 page aranea-centric fanfiction. im begging you. do you not want to see my 10,000 page aranea-centric fanfiction? do you not w

PART 6: THERE WAS SOME OTHER GOOD STUFF IN THERE TOO

putting actual trans characters in homestuck was a good idea. shame they picked the wrong one. i imagine they'll get around to making june canon eventually. i cannot state my opinions on jade's dog dick or else risk being forever barred from the homestuck fandom. some of the gamma kids are interesting. tavvy and yiffy, specifically. i wanna see where those two characters end up going. "deltritus" is a funny name. i sure hope that ripping off the main plot point from "to boldly flee" was intentional. im not sure if that last sentence was a good thing. but it was an entertaining thing. um, the more homestuck there is, the more likely aranea gets brought back? ok yeah now im grasping for straws but im sure you get the idea

PART 7: I'M STILL CALLING IT HS^2

why did they rename it. that was a very silly decision.

oh hey 7 parts that's nice. if i moved part 2 to the end it might mirror homestuck better. but im too lazy to do that. pretend that this mild oversight is actually a brilliant creative decision okay? okay.

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

AA: hey d0nt v0te me off i was d0ing my tasks

AT: yES,,, lIKE sNAPPING vRISKA'S nECK,

AA: ...

AA: it was very squishy 0u0

[jsolation]

AG: Mount Everest 8n’t got shit on me.

(or, alternatively, take this aradia from an animatic that im prolly never gonna finish)

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Vriska Serket Propaganda Post

People love her! People hate her! People want to fuck her! People want her dead! It’s Vriska fucking Serket bby! No introduction needed.

she did nothing wrong but i guess you could bring up that time she mind controlled one of her friends to jump off a cliff permanently paralysing him and then later stabbed him through the chest with his own lance or that time she killed one of her other friends by mind controlling one of her friends or that time she blinded her best friend because said best friend blew up her magic artifact causing her to lose an arm and an eye. said best friend would later kill her and then thousands of pages later rework the timeline to not kill her. and then they kissed. shes also a mentally ill neurodivergent gay teenager living on murder death planet who was forced to murder lest her spider mom eat her for breakfast, basing her entire personality off her singular role model who was a fucked up pirate who lived a longass time ago. she has a redemption arc after dying and genuinely begins to heal from her traumas and work towards being a healthier and better person and then an alternate version of her gets created by aforementioned timeline reworking and shouts at her and steals her girlfriend. she did nothing wrong. she created so much discourse. i love her immensely. shes even vriska (vriska)

It's vriska. Need i say more?

It’s Vriska.

She had her own discourse tag (Vriscourse) due to all the crimes she did. These include murder (of enemies, friends, and strangers), a revenge sprial that led to her paralyzing one friend and blinding another, and literal mind control. She was one of the protagonists. Also one of the biggest problems that needed solving. A deeply hurt and desperate teenager, she tricked a lot of her team and a lot of the fanbase into thinking she was a shallow violent "spider8itch." She earned every last bit of vitriol she got. She was a scared lonely teenage girl. Her best friend (the one she blinded) murdered her. It was declared both a just and heroic death. It had to be undone with time travel because it was impossible to suceed without her. She had so much love to give. She delivered needless pain instead. She was a result of her society and unbringing. Her friends were not nearly as brutal as her. She's like it Azula ATLA had a sense of humor and was allowed to say fuck.

vriska serket ... she is still so controversial - hence the moral ambiguity yes she does do terrible things but consider: she has an evil spidermom that needs to be fed children and she lives on the imperialist militaristic kill planet ... is it any wonder she is so morally dubious ?

8 Ball On The Giant Pool Table