#teacher my beloathed
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I've remarked on this blog a few times before that I'm fond of the theory that The Shapeless One is Paracelsus, but I've always hesitated to elaborate, as I felt like there wasn't enough hard evidence that supported this theory being true. However, something recently clicked for me regarding one big parallel between them, and now I can't stop thinking about what that connection would mean for the story thematically.
In mémoire 61, after Machina pushes him to explain what his "plot" is, Teacher declares that he wants to achieve world peace. I've had no idea what to make of this line for a while now, just assuming that we'd need more context to understand what the actual hell he's talking about. But with the Paracelsus comparison, I feel like I'm starting to grasp what's going on there.
[This post needs a VnC-standard warning for mentions of suicide, sexual assault, and child abuse].
There are a few pieces of evidence that support the idea of Teacher being Paracelsus. VnC's Paracelsus is introduced as a great alchemist, just as he was in the real world, and the Count of Saint Germain was an alchemist as well. Nobody knows Teacher's origins, but he's one of the oldest vampires and close with the queen. There's also a little drawing of six-pointed stars that appears behind Paracelsus in the first storybook illustration of him, and those same stars are seen hanging from Teacher's walking stick in the scene where he first meets Noé.
That panel of Teacher and Noé appears at the very end of chapter 6, and the Paracelsus panel appears at the start of chapter 7, meaning these images are quite conspicuously close together.
So what does this mean for Teacher's idea of "world peace"?
In the storybook version of Paracelsus's life, he's described as wanting to alter the world formula not for scientific curiosity, but because he wants to save the world.
Paracelsus, per the childish version that Teacher presents to Noé, caused the Babel Incident because he was trying to "rid the world of its ills" and "guide people to happiness." The line about the human world's "rampant ills" is read over a drawing of dancing skeletons—a Danse Macabre. This is a Medieval way of drawing the personification of death, usually for the purpose of expressing the way that death comes comes for every person inevitably (the same theme later expressed by Vanitas art).
When Paracelsus speaks of the world's ills, this is the reality he seeks to cure. The world is afflicted with suffering and death, and he wants to rewrite the world's formula so that humanity can live happily without that pain.
A world rewritten to be without suffering—isn't that world peace? "World peace" is often used to evoke an end to armed conflict specifically, rather than suffering at large, but the concepts must overlap if they're pursued seriously. How can world peace last if there are people starving in famines or dying of disease? Suffering breeds violence. And how can someone seeking to alleviate "the world's ills" not want to achieve world peace?
If this is true, if Teacher's hope for "world peace" is him carrying on Paracelsus's legacy (or carrying on his own work, if they're the same man), then what does that mean for Paracelsus's supposed altruistic intentions?
We know little about Paracelsus now, only Teacher's recounting of the Babel Incident by way of a book he's reading to a child, but I think there are two ways to interpret what we do know.
Trying to rid the world of suffering is, on its face, the most noble possible intention. To lead the world to happiness is to attempt to help every other person in the world. And I can think of a lot of ways that Paracelsus's goals make absolute sense to me. If you discover that the fabric of reality can be rewritten, and you know that there are people in the world dying of famines, wouldn't you want to reshape the world so that they no longer have to go hungry?
It's possible, depending on what we find out about him in the future, that Paracelsus really will be a noble figure whose one great sin was hubris, and all he wanted from his research was to help the world in ways that make both moral and logical sense.
However, given some of VnC's other themes, I think there's another lens through which we should consider Paracelsus's actions. We don't know exactly what he was trying to rewrite with that disastrous experiment, but that Danse Macabre does give us one possible clue.
One of the themes that VnC has been slowly developing throughout its run is the idea that, though trying to save a person's life is noble, it is not noble to deny all death as a whole. This is a story about the concept of Vanitas, the idea that death is inevitable and that all else is rendered meaningless in its face. Noé feels like he failed Louis because he was unable to kill him when he asked, and it seems like the manga's being set up to end with Noé killing Vanitas to escape a fate Vanitas considers worse than death. One big part of what makes Mikhail so unsettling is his denial, his laughing about his mother's draining and the fact that he cannot accept the reality Luna has died, and Vanitas is horrified to hear that Misha is planning to resurrect their parent. That same issue goes on to be the one thing that finally drives a wedge between Noé and his teacher, as Noé can apparently forgive the man for purchasing him on the black market and killing Louis, but he's horrified to hear that Teacher told Mikhail that resurrecting Luna was possible.
All of these scenes have other elements to them, other things that drive the characters and inform why these specific ideas of undeath are so deeply horrifying to them, but the buildup of this running theme is an undercurrent through all of it. Vanitas means that someday all people must die, so what does it mean when somebody tries to deny that?
Even further, there's the broader horror of both Noé and Mikhail failing to process the bad things that happen to them. Misha commits blithe horrors in part because he does not understand that his sexual abuse was wrong, so he seems to see no problem with sexually assaulting others now in turn—as he does when he pressures Noé to drink his blood. Noé happily recounts being kidnapped and sold on the black market, remarks on Chloé and Jean-Jacques's goodness minutes after Chloé assaults him in his sleep, and brushes off the incident of Jean-Jacques drugging him to the extent that even Jean-Jacques himself is unnerved by it. All of that is deeply concerning behavior.
Misha is written to be obviously uncanny in his denial, and that uncanniness holds up a mirror to the subtler horror of Noé's own disconnects from reality. The more recent chapters have also begun drawing direct attention to the ways that Noé's denial of the bad in the world becomes problematic. The aforementioned scene of Vani, Dante, and JJ being disturbed by Noé's "it doesn't bother me" line does this, as does the long discussion Noé and Vanitas have about why Noé's ignorance of anti-Dham racism upsets Dante so much.
There is an ongoing tension in VnC between the inherent goodness of peace and life and the horror of what comes when those concepts are taken too far. Noé and Vanitas are this in a nutshell: an endlessly clashing duo made up of a too-extreme pessimist and a too-extreme optimist. The story arcs thus far have taken turns challenging each of their worldviews, slowly pushing Vanitas to open up and let himself hope for peaceful solutions, let himself accept love and emotional closeness, while also slowly pushing Noé to confront the fact that sometimes not everything has a happy-making peaceful solution after all. Sometimes "saving" a child means she has to die, and sometimes an enemy will have an entirely sympathetic reason to hate vampires, but Noé still has to fight them anyway to save the people he wants to save, regardless of whether that enemy is "right" or not.
Noé lives in denial of his own past traumas and his own present-day potential for harm. He denies the potential that "good" people he meets might harm him, and he struggles to accept instances where he has harmed others in turn. Dominique and Vanitas go on for pages after the amusement park about how reckless and overly trusting he can be, and he turns around, unable to cope, when confronted with the truth of what he did to Misha with his claws. However, Noé also has the benefit of his proximity to Vanitas knocking just a bit of sense into him, and it might not be a sure thing that he's going to stay in denial-land forever.
One of VnC's specific points of tension is the question of if/how Noé will grow to accept the hard things that currently bounce off his oblivious denial like water off of a raincoat. The end of mémoire 1, the statement that someday he's going to kill Vanitas, suggests that perhaps he might learn to understand how death, despite its pain, is important in its own right. It suggests that maybe he'll come around to no longer denying death and insisting that salvation is always its avoidance.
However, if he can't quite make that leap, the story provides us with dark mirrors to show us what a monster Noé could become by doubling down on his idealistic, optimistic denial. Misha's current state is Noé to an extreme, an innocent child committing horrors as he utterly fails to process the truth of his own horrific early childhood. Misha's driving motivation is a hatred of pain and suffering, and he's willing to do anything to resurrect the family that saved him from that pain in the past.
Then there's also Lord Ruthven, a man who was once an optimist in Noé's own mold, but has since broken bad in a spectacular way. Noé and Ruthven recite the exact same line about liking both humans and vampires, an obvious parallel, but now Ruthven is working with Naenia. Now he's living in the aftermath of his idealistic peace plan imploding and almost costing him his life. Ruthven despairs the last time he visits Gévaudan, lamenting the wrongness of his naive past hopes for understanding, and now he's working toward some unknown end involving Naenia, Charlatan, and the Queen. Now he's committing horrors of his own, biting at least three people by force, overriding their wills, and associating with the being that steals innocent people's true names.
There's also the question of what the hell Ruthven is doing with the queen. It seems he was somehow involved with Faustina devolving to her current state, and Loki references "smashing up her corpse," so it's possible Naenia's existence may be a sign that Ruthven wants or wanted her dead and/or cursed. However, the shots of him with the Faustina-like body in the tank at the end of mémoire 18 suggest there's a chance that he could instead be involved with some form of resurrection scheme (or a scheme to preserve/save her if she's not yet fully dead).
Ruthven exists in part to demonstrate the ways that an idealist like Noé can go bad, and it's possible that he, like Misha, is attempting some sort of awful resurrection, once again denying the reality of death.
Then, finally, there's one more character with whom Noé has these sorts of obvious parallels. The man who, perhaps, is also meant to represent what Noé could become if the dangerous sides of his optimism aren't reigned in: his teacher.
Noé is fascinated by Vanitas, drawn to him out of care and connection, but also because he wants to observe and understand him to sate his curiosity. In a darker mirror of the same trend, we see Noé's teacher allow Louis, Noé, Domi, and Misha to come to harm at least in part for the simple enjoyment of seeing how they react when placed in dark new situations. Noé and his teacher are also the only crimson vampires we know of who find the Blue Moon beautiful and alluring, rather than a source of fear (assuming that Teacher is a normal crimson vampire).
Noé was raised by this man; his worldview has been shaped by him in countless ways big and small. Noé was already living in cheerful rejection of trauma before The Shapeless One found him, but he could not have remained so radically detached from the painful parts of the world around him if his teacher had not wanted and allowed him to do so. He censored Lord Ruthven out of Noé's education, and he apparently did the same with anything that discussed (or expressed) severe bigotry toward Dhampirs. How else did Teacher shape him, and to what goal?
We know that the Shapeless One taught Noé how to fight. Given that "world peace" line, I wonder if perhaps he may also have taught him his morals on wanting to avoid conflict.
Teacher is a contradiction. He talks about "world peace," but he blithely leads Louis to his doom and supposedly doesn't hesitate to half-kill anyone who calls him by the wrong name. Marquis Machina calls him an incomprehensible natural disaster for this reason. Yet, despite all his rampant cruelty, I'm beginning to think that he might be just as much of a dangerous optimist as his student.
Teacher is defined by the fact that, in every scene, he always seems to look like he's having fun. There's hardly been a single panel where he's not drawn smiling. Sometimes that fun is vicious, a cruel smile made as a threat to Vanitas when he fails to address him by his name, but just as often, his aura seems horrifically innocent. He's just a man with a sweet smile and rather dull eyes having a very good time with life.
In the past I've largely looked at this smile as an extension of Teacher's sadism. He toys with Louis and Noé for the fun of it, and I took his smile as an expression of his cruel enjoyment of the pain he creates in his wake. However, now that we've seen him interact with Machina, now that we've observed him speaking casually with a peer for an extended period, there seems to be a disturbingly sincere quality to him as well.
Based on how he's portrayed in mémoire 61, when Teacher says he does everything he does for the sake of "world peace," I honestly think I believe him. I don't believe that he's not a villain—I can't guarantee that his vision of "world peace" would even align with a normal person's definition of "peace" or "happiness," but I believe that he's speaking some version of honestly here.
There's an honest to goodness optimism in that ever-present smile. There's a hope and a genuine quality to what he announces to Machina, in contrast to his smiles of sweetly cruel schadenfreude.
So perhaps, if all that is true, if Teacher is another dark mirror to Noé and he really does want to bring about world peace, then the point of him is that "world peace" has the potential to be a horror. What is the pursuit of world peace if not the ultimate pipe dream of every idealist in the mold of Noé and Ruthven? And what is VnC if not a long catalog of the horrors that idealists can bring about if they aren't careful?
And that, finally, brings me back to Paracelsus and the Danse Macabre.
Depending on what Paracelsus wanted to achieve through his experiments, it's possible he may have been yet another character trying to escape the harsh reality of death. The line about the world's "rampant ills" is placed over the Danse Macabre, after all—a symbol of death's universal inevitability. Is that the painful ill that Paracelsus wanted to address by rewriting the world formula? Inescapable death itself?
If so, Paracelsus becomes the ultimate embodiment of what happens when one denies death's certainty and the necessity of that certainty. He's the ultimate denial of "Vanitas" and what it represents on a scale far larger than Noé, Misha, or even Ruthven could grasp. And the manga casts his failed experiment as a Tower of Babel, throwing the world into chaos and causing countless deaths in his failure's wake.
Meanwhile, Teacher seems to have some ideas about how to cheat death in the present day, as he's promised Misha that there's a way to bring "The Vampire of the Blue Moon" back to life. This could be a lie, of course, or he could be planning to bring back "the vampire of the blue moon" in a way that does not actually bring back Luna as an individual. However, even trying to bring back the Blue Moon in some other way, perhaps through the human Vanitas, still represents him trying to restore something he found beautiful that was lost because of death. It still ties him thematically to the perversion of death as an ending, the same as Mikhail and Ruthven.
So far every character we've seen that wants to undo death is cast as an antagonist. Ruthven, Mikhail, and The Shapeless One are all united by a cruelty and a perverseness in various forms, and their goal is part of this. Death is a tragedy, but although trying to save the lives of people who want to live is noble, attempting to undo or eternally escape death is a far worse horror.
If Teacher is Paracelsus, or if they're closely connected in some other way, then that serves to further this point and show how the horror of escaping death extends to Paracelsus as it does the others. Teacher is strange and cruel. Paracelsus might be a nobly hubristic historical fool in a storybook, but if these two characters are connected, that instantly reveals the unsettling truth of how wrong Paracelsus's potential attempt to thwart death would have been. Nothing Teacher is working for can be wholly good.
And, just as Noé and Misha's denial is both present and harmful beyond the most severe subject of death, even if Paracelsus wasn't trying to craft a world without death by altering the world formula, we know he was trying to create a world without suffering. Again, this is a noble goal in theory, but so long as death remains, some suffering will remain as well. Crafting a world without pain and suffering can also go much too far, can slip into denial and cruelty. Mikhail's whole motivation as an antagonist is his search for a life without pain, and look where that's led him.
A rejection of all suffering can be an extremely dangerous thing, whether it's running from one's own mental pain or wanting to rewrite the world to negate all suffering as a whole. This dream will never not be a detachment from reality.
The Case Study of Vanitas is a series that seems to be searching for a balance of optimism and pessimism, a way to approach the harsh realities of life that lies between the toxic extremes embodied by Vanitas and Noé. To lapse too far into hopeless pessimism creates a Vanitas, a Chloé, an Astolfo. It creates people who are suicidal, genocidal, or both, and dangerous to themselves and others for it. However, to go through life in a state of eternal joy without processing one's pain, or to attempt to create a world wholly free of suffering—that is just as dangerous and foolish. What are Noé, Misha, and Ruthven if not dangers to themselves and others? What is Teacher if not the most dangerous man in this manga?
Noé and Misha are unsettling because they smile through the bad things that happen to them and act as though they aren't bad. They each have some exceptions to this rule—Louis's death for Noé and the pain suffered at the hands of Moreau for Misha—but they still come across as at times disconnected from the reality of pain.
Yet, neither of them is as disconnected from the reality of pain as a man that can behead the grandson he raised with a smile on his face. Noé as a child sees the fun in being kidnapped and put up for auction. Teacher, if his smile is to be believed, sees the fun in every single thing we've seen him do, and that's what's so unsettling about him. He genuinely seems to be having a good time, including and especially when he's blithely committing horrors for the fun of it.
Noé and Misha's strange behavior stems from trauma, and we don't know that's the case for Teacher. Perhaps not, as he seems much colder and crueler in his tendencies than either of them. But either way, the happy sincerity displayed by both of them is echoed in the face of the Count of Saint Germain as he tells Machina that he's searching for world peace. That is the face of someone idealistic, someone who believes he's working toward a real goal that both justifies and delights him.
Teacher wants world peace, and his warped nature means that we have no real idea what "world peace" means to him. Is a world at peace a world where he still gets to violently beat people who get his name wrong? A world where he still gets to have fun observing the free will and choices of the traumatized children he raises? Maybe he once believed in a world that was truly without suffering, and his overly-long life and mad optimism have eroded his tether to reality, turning him into the awful person we see now. Maybe the catastrophe of the Babel incident broke him and turned him from a hubristic idealist to warped echo of his former self. Maybe he somehow thinks all the suffering he causes is justified if it's in pursuit of his noble end goal. Maybe his version of "world peace" is a world where all people can live free from the fear of death, and the smaller pains caused along the way are irrelevant in the face of that impossible dream.
Or maybe he's just a cruel hypocrite.
In the end, we still know too little about both Paracelsus and Teacher to make any grand proclamations about the truth of their characters. However, I can't unsee this connection between them now that I've seen it. Teacher is one of Noé's dark mirrors, a character that represents the horrors possible when one goes too far down his current emotional path. Noé is optimistic to a fault, convincing himself to see only the best in many truly awful scenarios, and Teacher is the man with an eternal smile printed on his face. Noé loves and wants to save Vanitas, and Teacher speaks of the Blue Moon's ultimate beauty and says he has a way to bring them back to life now that they're dead. Noé is the eternal savior, always desperate to prevent people from dying, and Teacher claims that everything he does is done in the name of achieving world peace.
Similarly, Paracelsus is defined by throwing the world into chaos and horror due to his over-optimism. He tried to go too far, tried to rid humanity of its countless ills and create his own form of world peace, perhaps even tried to rewrite the reality of death. Did he hate pain and cold like Misha? Did he want to stop unjust wars like Ruthven? Did he want to become a savior in the image of Noah?
If Teacher's goal of "world peace" is to be believed, then whether or not Teacher and Paracelsus are actually the same person, they represent the same thematic extreme. Death is inevitable, says the concept of Vanitas. It's inevitable and Noé must learn to accept that fact before he does something awful in the name of pain and death's prevention. Teacher and Paracelsus have both done something(s) awful in the name of pain and death's prevention. Teacher and Paracelsus have followed Noé's path of optimism to such an extent that they, in one way or another, both claim(ed) to want to save the world, and this requires a mad extreme of Noé-like cognitive dissonance and hubris.
Paracelsus pursued some goal, some way of granting humanity happiness that was supposedly noble but still murky in its specifics, and he warped the fabric of reality and caused the countless disasters of the Babel Incident in the process. And that's assuming the storybook is true, and Babel really was accidental on his part. Meanwhile Teacher has warped the seemingly noble dream of world peace into something that he can claim is served by the way he's tormented Louis, Misha, and Noé. There's a chance that both men tried or are trying to undo the reality of death. They're bound by the same underlying current of scientific curiosity intermingled with their dreams of world peace.
Noé is not an alchemist, and he's not particularly skilled at rewriting the world formula. He's unlikely to have any chance to rewrite the fabric of reality itself for the better. He's unlikely to have any chance to achieve "world peace" by any definition.
Noé is, however, a dangerous optimist who has not yet learned that death is unavoidable. He hasn't yet learned that death can be preferred to its alternatives. And he was raised by a man who seems like he has not learned or does not care that disrupting Death in the grand sense will inevitably lead to horror. Or perhaps a man who enjoys horrors and wants to toy with absolute death as a part of that. And all this in a world warped and defined by the folly of a man who may also not have understood the horror of evading death.
So Teacher might be Paracelsus. I think this connection between them only strengthens the odds of that theory being true. But even if he isn't, they represent a similar thing for Noé and for the manga's themes at large. You cannot rid the world of the Danse Macabre, and attempting to end that dance will only bring greater ills and greater pain than death on its own could ever hope to bring.
A strange and dangerous man proclaiming with an honest smile that he wants to bring about world peace does not make him any less strange or dangerous. Depending on his definition of world peace and his idea of death's place in it, that idealistic goal may actually make him far more dangerous than if he were nothing more than a simple sadist.
#I've talked at length about some of these ideas in other posts before#but putting this together felt like finally being able to marry a few different major themes I've written about#that have stayed largely disparate up to this point#also huge shoutout to the several other theorists I've seen point out the thing with teacher and paracelsus and the stars#that's such a cool detail#ANYWAY this is more of a reach than what I'd usually stake a whole meta essay on. but I feel like my thematic foundations are sound#vnc#vanitas no carte#the case study of vanitas#teacher#vnc teacher#the shapeless one#comte de saint germain#vnc paracelsus#teacher my beloathed#noé archiviste#theory#english major hours#vnc spoilers
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Being an adult means forcing yourself to get six impossible tasks done before breakfast five of those being making phone calls
#phone calls my beloathed#also looking at payment deadlines for college my beloathed#the good thing is that they allow me to procrastinate doing the insane amount of sketches my teacher assigned us#I swear this class has more homework than my actually degree specific courses#I’ve prototyped like…three websites#but I’ve drawn enough circles to transmute a living being#trin rambles
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i need a fuckin’ path and shit man this is scaring me
#highschool starts to draw to a close (kinda) and cody realizes he has no idea what he wants to do with his life!!!!!!!!#fallback plan is air force academy like papa beloathed but i don’t… the government…#firefighter???? search and rescue? meteorology????#no way in balls am i getting an office job or a teacher or some shit i’d go batshit in a week#but i’m failing so i can’t expect to lean on my grades to get me anywhere#at least i’m physically fit and strong and shit so i can get a blue collar if i want#i dont fucking KNOW but people keep asking me like i’m supposed to have an hour by hour itinerary of my entire life!!!#sorry. kinda a rant kinda an ongoing panic attack because i don’t know what to do#my brother talking about moving out made me realize that we’re like. Big now. we have to do things.
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Insane to me that Kinnporsche will show me a severed head and a man licking another man’s cum off his hand and still expect me to believe these grown mafia men are saying words like “heck” and “fudge”
#kinnporsche#official translation my beloathed#men who fuck like that don’t use school yard Sunday school teacher curses come on now
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unrelated to anything i miss my theater teacher from before winter break
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I have such ambitious plans for the new year.
I want to write at least one more chapter of WBTL.
#Personal#Low stakes I know XD#But no you don’t understand 2023 was a nightmare to me especially the last 3-4 months#and right freaking now I’m still half dead#Хнык хнык I hate January#It drains all my energy and any hope for the positive outcomes#(yes this is because of exams I’m generic as heck I’m crying because of school (uni))#Oral exams my beloathed#As my teacher said she wants us to show our knowledge in stressing situations 🥰#Ajshndkfjnf PLEASE#I can barely speak in unstressful situations what are you even talking about#Anyway January won’t last forever I have a long-awaited break in February#And THEN I’m going to have fun#Not for long but still fun#Anyway back to WBTL#You know I actually miss those times when I updated every month x)#I wrote almost every day even if it was little#and now I just open my new doc every now and then add 1-2 paragraphs that don’t move anything forward and cry internally#What happened to me…#I make quite a lot of ‘off screen’ stuff now but really it doesn’t count#Buuuut I think I figured how to put all the upcoming events in order because when I tried to connect all of that in my head#I panicked that nothing of it made sense and started to rearrange the entire timeline thinking when every event would be more fitting :’D#Eventually I just wrote down my original idea read it and calmed down because yeah it actually was coherent#The last sentence of this plan is everything was good again#Yeah writing is my therapy#(Валерио пафосно снял свои перчатки)#Oh and I just have to say I’m going to introduce quite a lot of new characters in the next chapters#and I’m extremely excited to make another post with my characters picrews#Most of them are already made but I cannot share them :’D#Well a good motivation to keep writing
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drawing my time traveler character bc she was the only good thing to come out of my concept art/3d modeling class (i learned nothing about character design or 3d modeling and this character was the only assignment actually about character design that we did (i did my senior project on character design and learned way more about it than a whole semester long class that was supposed to teach me it))
im also going insane trying to track down the shoes i used for inspiration for hers but alas i cant find them
#my art#original character#oc#uh she still doesn't have a name but eh#also i really wish i couldve kept the original photoshop file of her but when i tried to move it into my google drive it wouldnt let me :(#mustve been something with the school network or something but still#god even though ive graduated already and dont have to deal with that class anymore i still wish i never took it#the teacher did not teach very well and that class was soul sucking to be in (it also didnt help that we had block schedule so it was a#2 hour class)#giving us old pdfs on learning maya from 2011.... making us copy some other guys drawing but not really in a way to learn from him or his#character design...#dumping her family issues on literally everyone who came into the class (i had to listen to this all the time bc i sat at the front)#i mean at least the teacher liked me i guess but that didnt help the class like. at all.#digital drawing for concept art / 3d modeling my beloathed#anyways for this assignment specifically (the time traveler)#she gave us a book to look at with. character design stuff? i think? and the page we were looking at had some time travel agent woman#concept art on it#that design was really dumb looking imo but it was also probably pretty early concept art for a game so i dont blame it much#it was some generic hot woman with long platinum blonde hair (described as strange despite it not being strange at all)#and wearing a suit that conveniently showed cleavage and had a thigh slit on her skirt#she was holding some old ass briefcase and one of those plastic umbrellas with polka dots on it (the umbrella was her time travel device or#whatever)#the teacher told us we had to make a time traveler so i set out to yassify and transify this design a bit#i think the only sort of character design tip we learned during this whole like. month we worked on this for was to make a moodboard of#our ideas#but eh i still really like the design i made and i was able to get nice and creative with ut#just wish i was able to save it on my own computer and not the school computer :(#2023#oc tag
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hii ^^ 'tis i. im home
#oh philosophy my dearest beloved#favorite thing was the mention of kant! mutuals blorbo from philosophy. quite nice#i like his definition of philosophy.#my personal favorite was jaspers‚ calling philosophy a path/road (not sure how to translate it to english?)#oh‚ perhaps it's journey.#it's a nice idea that no matter how far you walk‚ philosophy is always the road you're taking‚ not an arbitrary destination#oh also physics my beloved.#we're on the topic of... what's it? oh‚ circuits. (turkish to english translation in my head my beloathed)#at some point in the class the teacher asked the class that someone come up to the board and draw a circuit so she could make a question -#- out of the circuit drawn.#no one raised their hand‚ and so i did! i was not courageous but i did it. and she seemed a little proud of me which is nice#oh oh very important detail for today‚ at the end of the day when it was time to unlock the locker where the student phones are kept‚#the philosophy teacher called my name and asked that since i was the most frequent participator in class‚ i be the one to unlock it#it felt analogous with a coronation. you understand#🌙rambling
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Thinking abt the initial concept of the villain Dia au now and just ncmcnd
Imagine if she didn't really kill Malva, but Malva is still really unaware of Diantha's involvement in Flare or the fact that Diantha just knows abt them. And she's there looking for Lysandre, and she found nothing, no leads, no body, nothing. But Dia's Trevenant was there yknow, watching, waiting, and when Gengar arrived to get the daily report, Trevenant had told him what he saw. And ofc, Dia already knew yknow, she's already aware of the fact that Malva's part of Flare, this was just for blackmail hahaha
And like, imagine a small confrontation between them, or maybe smth like in that first chapter where Dia was asking Malva to help them find the remaining members of Flare. Imagine Diantha waiting for the other three Elites before she turns to Malva, going "aren't you going to help?"
"why would I? I'm sure there's nothing left of Flare."
"oh, I wouldn't say that," Dia laughed at her, taking a step closer towards Malva, "considering that you're still here."
And Malva paling at that tho, cause she and Lysandre hid their identities and involvement in Flare rather well, how would Diantha even know? As far as Lysandre and Malva were aware, Dia never found out abt the actual boss of Flare. Unless..
"you were looking for Lysandre, weren't you?" Then Malva could feel claws from beneath her, grabbing her legs, preventing her escape. She looked down, seeing arms of what she could only assume we're a Gengar's, then she hears a sinister laugh to confirm it. She looks back at Diantha, Lysandre's Mega Ring in hand, "I have to thank him though, if it weren't for him, I wouldn't have gotten my darling Yveltal."
And everything's just sinking in on Malva after watching Dia wear the ring, watching her eyes drift towards her again, and suddenly feeling the cold edge of a blade on her neck. "Now, I suppose you know what will happen if you won't help, yes?" And she could only nod, the cold feeling of dread taking over her body. Diantha smiled at her, snapping her fingers, and the blade on her neck and the hand grabbing her legs disappeared. "Very good, my darling. Now, tell me, just where are those useless Flare admins hiding? I'm in no mood to play this game of Meowth and Rattata with them."
And ofc, Malva told her where, the two of em got the other Flare admins before the other Elites could. And idk, it's fun to think that Xerosic still had intentions at Lumiose to get mega stones from Augustine, and Dia was pissed man, so hey, she got all the admins to a place maybe, somewhere hidden, and Diantha made Malva watch as she let her Aegislash behead the remaining admins in front of her.
So yeah, now Malva's fucking terrified cause holy shit man, watching that was fucked up, and Diantha could do that to her too. She knows having Diantha's favour doesn't do much rn, if she so much as goes out of line, then she'd meet the same fate as the admins before her. And she'd rather not die just yet.
#keeping malva alive for reasons™#also anon im blaming you for this i keep thinking abt the initial concept na😭🤣#it is cool tho hahah#watch me share stuff rn as a way to cope bc i have a stats test tomorrow ;w;#if i so much as think abt this concept tomorrow id be fucked#not me being so familiar w pkmn and not remembering the formulas needed for the test😭#tbf i dont like math and im shit at math and i feel lied to studying psychology#thinking there wont be math#but THERE IS!!! IT SUCKS!!#psych statistics my beloathed#but at least youre more tolerable than biosci#then again that subj didnt have a good teacher so like *shrugs*#death mention tw#villain diantha au
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I fucking hate Edgenuity man my last day of the school year is next week and these mfs are expecting me to finish an ENTIRE CLASS by that time are u out of ur MINDS?????
#I'm not doing this shit 😭😭#am I supposed to just speedrun this??#what do these guys want me to do???#pyro's rant tag#edgenuity#my BELOATHED#I do like 6-7% on a daily average on my Edgenuity classes#so there's literally no way I'm completing this class on time#unless I try and speedrun everything which I'm way too tired to even try doing#I tried asking my teachers but as of now I haven't gotten any response
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having midterms right next week is absolutely horrible bc we haven’t even finished all of the units in my classes so we have to cram in little projects/tests that r going to suck massive ass
#adri.txt#math my beloved except for when it’s too hard (right now)#history my beloathed as usual#i haven’t had a good teacher since freshman year. augh
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I think Luna, Queen Faustina(naenia) and the shapeless one are wayyy too similar in the way they are drawn, the lines, the eyes. Shapeless one has one red eye and another blue eye, like naenia and the vampire of the blue moon..... am i missing smt or?
You're absolutely right! A lot of this actually gets pointed out by characters in the manga as well, so we know it's all intentional on Mochijun's part.
When Noé sees Luna in Misha's memories, he remarks in confusion that Luna looks extremely similar to Faustina:
Then, when Jeanne sees The Shapeless One for the first time in the amusement park, she observes that his left eye is the exact same color as Vanitas's eyes (and therefore the same color as Luna's eyes).
Teacher's right eye is violet, not crimson like Faustina's, so he's not a perfect combination of the other two, but there's definitely something going on here. Even without the visual link, we know they're connected, as Ruthven says Teacher was the first vampire to serve her (and the one to do so for the longest). He's extremely old, the oldest vampire we know of besides the queen, so he may even have some connection to Babel and Faustina's origins. (I'm personally a fan of the Teacher is Paracelsus theory, but that should really be a separate post).
As for your confusion, I honestly think you're right to be confused! We have all these extremely conspicuous connections and similarities, but no explanations yet. It's all just hints and gestures toward Big Reveals that are yet to come.
That said, I do have theories.
Luna and Faustina are similar-looking enough that I think they have to be related in some way. They could be normal relatives, one could have been artificially made in the image of the other, or it could be something even weirder that I haven't thought of yet, but there's no way their origins aren't connected somehow.
I know some people theorize they're twins, but that would require discounting all of the fairytale version of Luna's story, so I'm not ready to commit to that one quite yet. Faustina is supposed to be the first ever crimson vampire, created during or right after Babel, while Luna was supposedly born under a blue moon and born late enough that there were other vampires around to resent and reject them. Some of that mythos could be wrong! I'm absolutely not trusting that the fairy tale is telling the truth about Luna (or Faustina). But it's enough for now to make me suspect that their connection is something more complex than their simply being twins and/or both born from Babel.
Meanwhile, with Teacher, it seems like Mochijun is hinting to us that Teacher took Luna's left eye. Teacher has a left eye that we're specifically told is Blue Moon blue, and Luna's left eye is constantly hidden from our view under their hair. We also know from the above "most beautiful creature in the world" line, his involvement with both Misha and Noé/Vanitas, and his shapeshifting into them that Teacher seems to have some kind of fixation on Luna. If that fixation didn't drive him to take their actual left eye, then Mr. Shapeshifter may well be turning his own left eye blue on purpose in Luna's image.
I'm not discounting the possibility that the obvious explanation of "eye theft" could be a red herring, but Teacher's left eye's connection to Luna definitely strikes me as something affected rather than a sign of actual relation to the Blue Moon. After all, in that panel I included above, he discusses the beauty of "Blue" in a way that makes it sound like something external he's fascinated with, rather than something he possesses or is part of.
Overall, all three of these characters are obviously interconnected, and they all have equally mysterious origins, but with the information we have now, it's impossible to solve those mysteries. For now all we can do is theorize and wait to see what future chapters might clarify.
#thanks for the ask!#been a minute since I actually answered one. so this was nice to get back to#vnc#vanitas no carte#the case study of vanitas#luna#the vampire of the blue moon#naenia#faustina#teacher#comte de saint germain#the shapeless one#vnc spoilers#teacher my beloathed#luna my beloved#faustina my beloved#theory#ask#anon#ID in alt text
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I have an exam tomorrow and I am, augh
By all means I could get a 4 and still pass but I dont want to risk it, man
#EliGoRamble#Discreet Maths my beloathed#more like my discreet maths teacher my beloathed#because learning on my own shows me that it's actually fun#for me of course#so yes wish me luck dmnamb
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The way Sims4 is lowkey motivating me to learn Blender for cool scenes and pictures in the way my Animation Studies never could.
#eleven talks#in my defense my teacher was kinda shit and i had more mental breakdowns than breakthroughs#also Maya My Beloathed#that disastrous time turned me off from anything 3D related for a long time
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was talking with my cousin about not having our driver liscenses'
we were both feeling bad about it, and my cousin said "oh well, it's my fault anyway lol"
and like,,
i used to feel worse about it before. i kept telling myself that same phrase, that it was my fault.
then i started thinking about it more and how covid fundementally fucked up me and everyone around me at an important stage in our lives,, and i just go, "oh... that actually wasnt my fault"
#living through historical events my beloathed#important#things to remember#getting shit done late (or sometimes not at all) is not the end of the world#don't believe your college or highschool teachers when they say late work isnt acceptable#late or incomplete work is ALWAYS better than no work
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ughhhh about 2 have a very boring class . . . .
#➳ the fool speaks#2nd period my beloathed#worst class . alllll the others r better . booooooo tomato tomato tomato tomato tomato . boo . 2/10 class . boooooooo#literally so excited for next semester i don't think any of my classes r gonna be too boring#3/4 of em r gonna be fun . hopefully . depending on who teaches me them . if i get an annoying teacher who ruins the fun classes i am going#to cry myself to sleep every night /j
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