#tea and doilies

[kawaiiangelic]

˚₊‧꒰ა ♱ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚ 🍯🥐🫖🥨☕️🍞🥖🥄🍪(๑╹ω╹๑ )

[olahresidence]

Oh yeah! We're back in business now! Finally feel like I've gotten my groove back. Here's the purples for huevember.

14 - Caro et Ferrum 15 - Cats Cradle 16a - English Breakfast 16b - E.B. Doily Edition

[enthusiastic-nimrod]

So a little fun fact about me is that I like to keep Medibang on my computer whenever I can't use my normal art program.

I actually do really like medibang, but I'll be the first to admit that I'm not used to the system.

[our-beautiful-nature]

Tea time☆☕

[bbtin]

Here's a Mother's Day card that I ended up making because I needed a distraction. It's been a while since I've done one, and I guess tea was on my mind.

I remember my mom used to have these china children's tea sets for my sister and I. They were unfortunately, like many of my childhood things, lost during moves and storage forfeit. I would have liked to kept that since I'm certain I'm going to be collecting teapots one day.

Anyway, shout out to all the mother figures out there. Enjoy the day if you can or enjoy healing.

[maretriarch]

(voice of a man having a profound epiphany) in horse world applejack is as much of a dessert treat themed pony as pinkie pie is

[ghooostbaby]

i'm fascinated by junk journal youtube

[squiddy-god]

Hello!! I just read your twst x chubby S/O and I thought it was amazing! Could I request Third Years x S/O who's into crocheting and crochets them plushies or keychains as random gifts? Plus a bonus when they admit that after they graduation Night raven they want to start a small business on it after hiding it if you want >w<

Hehehehe i love this so much because i crochet! It is one of my many house husband skills, personally my favorite things to make is these little octopuses but i should really branch out lol, this reminds me of those manhwas where the mc starts a business that booms 

Cw : tooth rotting fluff, mc has a successful side hustle to make that bag, gn reader, bonus grim because i love my cat so much, my son, grims is obvi platonic, rsa mention because vil is petty

Grim 

Oh hes bragging 

His human henchman is the best because they make him cute gifts 

The skrungly

I wanna make him little kitty outfits for every occasion

Making grim cat toys and he acts like he doesn't like them at first but he literally wont sleep without the crochet tuna fish you made him 

I think he needs a little kitty bag to wear and put his stuff in (mostly tuna) 

He would taunt the others because clearly he is the most special kitty with his very cool bad and fish 

He is and i won't stand for anyone telling me otherwise, i love our bastard cat son

Cater 

Hes obsessed 

If you make him a keychain then he is adding it to his growing collection on his phone right away

I hc that hes a big fan of stuffed animals so he adores anny that you make him and they sit on his bed 

He names all of them

He helps you start the small business during school actually! At first its his suggestion to run a magicam page for all your creations 

Soon the comments are flooded with people asking if you sell, one thing leads to another and boom you now have a successful side hustle 

Rsa is honestly a big seller they love this kind of stuff

He loves everything you make him and never stops posting about his love for it

Very supportive of your small business ventures 

His favorite thing you've made him is a little bag for pens and pencils that is shaped like a playing card because he thinks its just the cutest thing in the world 

And the keychains that he gets to show off whenever he whips his phone out (often)

Some of his favorite candid photos of you are when you’re crocheting peacefully 

Trey 

Dometic bliss pt.1

Trey is,,,such an old man- he like baking and the simple domestic little things like making you coffee/tea in the morning 

He loves to watch you crochet because he thinks its very cute and wholesome to spend time when you are doing activities together that are calm 

MAKE THIS MAN DOILIES AND POT HOLDERS please 

He adores the set of frilly doilies you made him and the cute potholders are always in use

He is 100% in support of your dreams of making that bag, honestly he really thinks you should get a start now to make extra cash on the side since 7 forbid crowley pay you for the work you do

He smiles every time he sees a tart cooling on one of the doilies you made him, seeing the little pattern always makes him happy

He trades you baked good for the things you make him so i hope you enjoy sweet treats

Leona 

Cat…big kitty…

Oddly captivated by any balls or skeins of yarn that are out and about but hes fighting the urge to play with them 

He is not beating the house cat allegations 

At first hes pretty neutral on it honestly, he likes the gifts you give him because they are just his but hes not a big keychain guy, or stuffies

Then you make him a blanket and hes gone 

He claims to be neutral about it, saying he likes the gift but dont be fooled by his aloof act he sleeps with that blanket everywhere 

He is bringing it to class if he doesn't just skip the class 

It is his favorite blanket and he almost lost his shit when ruggie took it to wash it- he's kinda territorial about the blanket 

Gives 0 fucks that its some cutesy blanket with little lions on it

Also a big fan of pillows/pillow covers 

If you make him multiple blankets he loves them too but the first one is extra special to him 

Hes neutral about you starting a business during or after school/graduation because well,,,he's a whole prince,,,

You make cheka a matching blanket and leona gets a very happy letter from his brother on how much the mini lion loves it, leona rolls his eyes but is secretly very proud of you 

Regardless if you want to start the small business he is happy to support you making that bread 

Vil 

Vil in crochet clothes my beloved 

Hes charmed by your little hobby and the adorable stuffed animal you made him, a little crochet owl that sits on his vanity so he sees it when he does his makeup and night routine 

Vil does not post a lot of personal stuff on his magicam/socials, but he does wear anything you make him, he has a folder in his gallery dedicated to photos of the two of you, dates or candid photos either he took or rook took and sent to him. 

Most of these pics he's in something you crochet for him even if it's just a simple keychain it's a staple of his 

He is very supportive of your dreams of starting a business for your crochet, he admires the drive and discipline and encourages you to pursue this work 

Ironically if you start a side hustle soon to be full business, neige of all people is a big customer as he's fond of cute stuff like this 

This is where vil gets petty 

He sees a photo post of neige’s where he’s in a new outfit, not odd at all, what catches vils attention is that the cardigan and hat he's wearing is oddly similar to a piece he saw you working on for an order- anyone watching can see the twitch in vil’s eye when he sees the shoutout to you in the caption

The next 5-8 posts of vil’s are a mix of his regular posts and pictures of him in your clothes or with the keychains, all with captions along the lines of “my beautiful s/o @[your name here]”

He even posts the owl

Rook 

If you were to make him a keychain he calls it his lucky charm for hunting and always had it on him. 

Really he's just fond of anything you make him

a lot of his photos are of you when you are deep in a project and not paying attending, candid photos like this are his favorites and he looks at them often 

He really likes any little animal stuffies you make because he thinks they are just the cutest 

“Hunts” your plushies aka he will sneak up on you making them or sorting them out and act like he caught them 

Silly

He is very supportive of your business ventures, he loves to see you so passionate about wanting to eventually start a small business and be able to sell your creations 

He definitely encourages you to sell a few things in sams shop, afterall he sells anything and everything anyone could ever need

Idia 

The outfits you make grim are his faves 

He is a cat man at heart and cant help but coo over every new thing you make grim because it makes the kitty so so so cute and as a cat he was already uber SS+ cute levels 

He is also a big fan of any keychains you make him or even stuffies

The stuffies either are on his bed so he can cuddle them or they are with the rest of his game/anime figures on his shelves so its a horrific mix of like neon genesis mechs and crochet 

I think it would be funny to make him doilies to put the figures on because when hes gaming and people are like “dude why is your [super cool limited edition game figure] on a doily???” hes like “haha L+loser+lonely+my super cool s/o made them for me lvl10 affection” and is it cringe as hell? Yes. can those normies suck it because hes no longer forever alone? Also yes

They are demanding proof or it didn't happen 

Ortho is also a big fan and has a lil keychain you made hooked on him <3

idia would actually combust if you made anything themed after a game or show he watches/plays because that is SS+ max lvl affection with full hearts right there 

You have unlocked the super secret route and that is unlimited discord nitro and a new pc because he is so happy 

He also would support your business during and after school 

Malleus 

Domestic bliss pt 2

Genuinely you are breaking this guy. Like he cannot take it anymore 

I feel we all can agree malleus is prone to casual proposals because hes just,,,kinda like that

He pictures a future with you by his side and you aren't making it any better by being so endearing 

When he sees you doing something as simple as sitting down and crocheting his draconic heart is filled with sweet domestic love, makes him feel like an old married couple and he can't take it lmao 

At first he's a bit weird about accepting gifts as it's a big deal in fae culture to just,,,get a gift out of nowhere

But he does accept them, he simply gives you something he sees as equal value (this is how you end up with several big ass gems)

He considers all of your gifts his most precious items, his favorites however are the following 4 gifts he has received 

A keychain that looks like his gaogao-drakon-kun tamagotchi witch he keeps on the same keychain as said virtual pet

A gargoyle plushy that he considers to be one of his most treasured gifts, in a similar light he has a plushie of your fave animal and you have a dragon plushie that match (this almost killed him)

And a little crochet bracelet that you match (he never takes it off unless he has to) 

Your desire to start a business throws him for a loop at first because in his mind you are happily by his side in the briar valley, (he is very male lead coded) but he quickly re-adjusts to account for your business plans and he is the most supportive dragon you could ever hope for 

Lilia 

Old man (affectionate) 

 I like to think lilia knits and is simply overjoyed when he finds out you crochet 

You exchange little gifts 

It makes his very old fae heart happy to sit around the ramshackle fireplace and crochet/knit with you while chatting about your day/week, simple things like this make him feel like hes back in the old days with a baby silver 

He loves anything you make him and happily wears any keychains or items he is gifted

Stuffies are named and placed around his room without a hint of shame 

And he loves that you have such good goals and dreams like a business 

I like the idea of meeting general lilia and also making him something 

At first he is confused, almost indignant that you would have the gaul to give him a gift- of all people he would never accept such a token

Maybe its something simple, a granny square on the lacy side that resembles something akin to a handkerchief, something small you explain as a favor, something youd give a knight 

He claims he is disgusted by such human customs but his grip on the crochet piece is unmistakable, and the way you wake up the next morning to a small green gem-the same that adorns his armor, tells you all you need to

[nekomori-art]

Tea Time | Also available as a sticker sheet!

---

[ID: Illustration by Nekomori Art, showing various items related to tea-time, arranged loosely in rows. The first row shows a vintage enamel teapot decorated with red camellias, a Japanese teacup filled with warm green tea, a vintage mug decorated with strawberries and filled with steaming milk tea, and a golden teaspoon. The second row shows a shallow tray containing three rectangular biscuits, a lace doily, a vase filled with a bouquet of red flowers, a cookie tin adorned with lemons, and a small milk jug with the illustration of a branch on it. The third and last row shows a framed picture of a smiling fox character in a button-up shirt, a lighted tea candle, a stack of books, and a cupcake with a cherry on top.]

[suna-cerely-yours]

Say you love me (Losing all my innocence in the backseat) ft Tobio Kageyama

Synopsis: What should you do when you're being forced into marriage?

a. Seek ravishment from the most notorious rake

b. Get ravished by a stranger who you thought was the most notorious rake

c. Get married anyway d. All of the above

warnings: fem!reader, afab reader, 18+, mdni, themes of misogyny, historical inaccuracy, dubcon (not really but it's a case of mistaken identity), public sex, dry humping, making out, reader is called good girl.

a/n: think of it as a Bridgerton au. not historically accurate at all, and i might have gone overboard with the dialogue. i also use the phrase 'notorious rake' too much, but there's so much fun to be had in this universe

♛

"She's turning four and twenty next month! She debuted six years ago! She'll be on the shelf if you wait any longer. I've given enough autonomy to you, and clearly, I am the only one who's worried about the poor child!"

Your aunt announces to your mother a fair morning in September, having arrived at your townhouse in London a mere three days after you and your family had yourselves arrived for the season.

You freeze in your seat at the sudden change in topic (they had been discussing lace doilies, for heaven's sake), teacup raised halfway to your mouth. Your mother is also taken aback at this, although she hides it better than you, having years of experience dealing with your father's cousin.

Painting a gracious smile, ignoring your sudden personification of the stone gargoyles that graced the roof of your townhouse, she swallows her sip of tea.

"Surely, you've given this a lot of thought."

Your aunt sniffs, the flamboyant feathers on her dress quivering as you watch, teacup still in hand, " Someone has to! You handle a household so charmingly my dear, but you are too lax with your daughter. I should have known the moment you and my brother decided on teaching the lass Mathematics and Science. Honestly, had she taken up the piano forte instead she might already be popping out her third child!"

Your mother's smile becomes strained as she pats your hand, gesturing you to put down your teacup. "The piano forte is of course, a fine skill to be knowledgeable of. We have been looking for suitable er suitors for her, but you must know how the mart is, there's been a recent dearth of good men."

"What a load of hogwash that is! You know the ladies of the ton have been talking, after that whole ordeal with Lord Miya, especially Lady Evans- she gossips entirely too much for her own good. Either way, I have a perfect gentleman in mind for her, in fact they share quite a bit in common."

You watch in horror as your mother's interest piques at this, and your aunt barrels on. White noise fills your ears as you find yourself rising from the breakfast table, barely remembering to excuse yourself, rushing to your room. Gripping a bed post you lower yourself on your bed. It wasn't as if you were unaware of the fact that you were nearing an age after which you could no longer be looked at as an eligible option, nor were you unaware that your parents wished you married soon. However, you quite liked your life on the sidelines. You had a bit more autonomy than usual for an unmarried woman your age, and after what your friends and neighbors had said about marriage itself, you certainly were in no rush to partake.

You had to get out of this, by any means necessary.

♛

"D'you reckon Lady Wei has a female lover? I didn't know you could do that, Mama always said only men and women can be married, but that's such an old concept, don't you think?" your friend chatters, pointing out various people milling about at the Beauford-Shankar Annual Ball. You had attended every year, since your debut, and so had your friend, and usually the two of you would have a splendid time, pigging out on the different cakes and gossiping about the various characters who showed up each year. However, this year, you could barely stomach the few sips of lemonade you had, stomach turning at the prospect of meeting Lord Grant, the oh-so-perfect suitor your aunt has scrounged up.

"Oh!" she gasps, "and did you hear? Lady Garcia was ruined over the summer, by none other than our favorite rake, Lord Oikawa. She's apparently headed to the continent now, to traipse around, since she can spend her dowry as wishes. I wish I could do the same, Lord Oikawa please ruin me!" she laments, pretending to swoon against the window in front of which the two of you were situated.

Casting another cursory sweep around the ballroom, you turn towards your friend smiling, " And what news about our second favorite rake, Duke Kageyama? I overheard two ladies discussing he saved yet another poor girl from marrying her grandfather's schoolmate."

Your friend's eyes widen as she latches onto your arm, "Did I not tell you? He's so dashing, a libertine of course, having ruined what- at least fifty girls by now-" she stops to fan her face. "But all those women would have been positively miserable, had they married their intendeds. He's done the world a great good, if you were to ask me."

Smiling slightly, you're reminded of a quiet boy. You cannot recall his features very well, but it is rather hard to forget the only man who's ever caught your eye. You hadn't realized he'd turn into a libertine, but at least in your memories he'd always be the shy boy who'd helped his older sister secure her love match.

Lifting the glass of lemonade to your lips, you take a sip, before promptly choking, as you catch sight of your aunt and mother, being followed by a blonde gentleman, heading straight towards you.

♛

Tobio was decidedly not having a good time. Society events were low on the list of things he did enjoy, and after many years of not attending any, the Beauford-Shankar Ball was bordering unbearable.

"Tobio! Smile a little, you'll scare off all your admirers."

"Lord Sugawara, I have no idea what you're talking about."

"It's your first society event in nearly six years, why don't you look around? See if anyone catches your eye, or if you can even find that one girl who you used to stare at."

Tobio sputters, cheeks heating, "I- I didn't stare at anyone, and besides even if I had she would have been married by now."

Swallowing, an unbidden image of an eighteen-year-old girl comes to his mind, laughing at something Miwa had said to her. He'd been nineteen that year, much too young to even think about marriage and too focused on his sudden inheritance of the Kageyama dukedom. Miwa had married that year, and he had been running himself ragged trying to keep everything in order. But he remembered that one ball, the last one of that season, a young woman with a throaty laugh, big eyes and a closed posture, as if she were unsure of being there. He hadn't caught more than a glimpse of her, but her memory had remained, after all these years.

Suppressing a twinge of jealousy and sadness Tobio continued, "There was no one. Besides, it is becoming a little difficult to enjoy myself with all these Mamas glaring at me."

Sugawara tilts his head, surveying the room. "Ah, that must be because you've deflowered nearly fifty young ladies these few years."

"Yes, there's that but- wait, wait a moment, what? What did I do?" Tobio turns to Sugawara, astonishment smeared across his face, eyes narrowed incredulously.

"Deflowered, ruined, y'know all the good stuff." Sugawara shrugs with a small grin.

"No, what- I, no that's impossible. I- yes, there's been one or two women, but not- not young ladies. What are you saying?"

"Well, Your Grace, in the years you've declined to grace, ha, us with your presence, the gossip mill has churned quite a bit. You've prevented many marriages; I am sure you're aware."

Feeling completely discombobulated at the news, Tobio groans, "You have got to be jesting, there's no way- I certainly would know if I had ruined fifty young ladies, and I can assure you I have done no such thing."

"The truth is often not gossiped about my young friend. It seems as if the young ladies of the ton are taking advantage of your absence from society to escape from their intended marriages by using your name. They say they've been ruined by you, pay off a maid to spread rumors of 'catching' the two of you in the act and voila! No unhappy marriages for these women, and an expansion of your sordid reputation."

Scrubbing a hand across his face, Tobio sighs," and you did not think to inform me of these happenings, at least once?"

"I was completely under the impression that you were a right rake!"

Tipping his head back, Tobio sighs again. This was going to be a long season.

♛

"Well? What do you think about Lord Grant? He's the modern sort of man, isn't he?" your mother asks you the morning after the ball, hope evident in her eyes.

"He's nice, I suppose," you mutter, refraining from mentioning exactly how modern the man was. "Sure, if thinking a woman's only role in life is being a perfect wife- then yes, he's perfectly modern."

Your mother frowns at this," darling, you know Lord Grant is a better choice than being a spinster. He may have his faults, but your aunt is right, your father and I have been too careless on the topic of your marriage. You've always been the adjusting sort, surely you can adjust here as well?"

Pressing your lips together you offer no reply, choosing to focus on your breakfast instead. Your mother sighs, pressing her fingertips to her temple.

"All of this would have been easier had you just accepted Earl Miya's proposal two years ago. I don't see how you could refuse a man of his type!"

"Lord Miya had proposed to me because he had lost a wager, Mama. I was not going to marry a man only because he was trying to honor his dignity."

"Nonsense, wherever did you get such an idea!"

"Well, you see, the other Lord Miya-"

"And whyever would you be a wager forfeit, of all things!"

There was no arguing against her. "Mama, I do not wish to marry Lord Grant."

Your mother appeared to have gained selective hearing.

"There's to be another ball tonight. You will dance with Lord Grant and form a more solid opinion on him. Your father is already quite fond of him."

"Mama, why are we doing this now? We don't have to listen to Aunt-"

"And stay away from the edges of the room and other dark corners, Lord Sugawara is friends with the nastiest men, I do not know why, he is a gracious man, but London's notorious are sure to be there tonight. The last thing we need is you to be found with, with that Lothario Oikawa, or worse, Kageyama!"

Rolling your eyes this time you retort, "Mama, the ton hasn't seen Duke Kageyama in years, I wouldn't even know who to look out for. As for Lord Oikawa-"

You stop. Lord Oikawa, notorious libertine, deflowerer of virgins, and all-round suave gentleman. Lord Oikawa, who from the whispers of the ton, was tall and handsome, and never turned a lady down.

You smiled.

"Mama, please be sure to ask Lord Grant to find me before the final waltz."

♛

"You've completely lost it, haven't you?"

You choose to ignore your friend, and continue your search for Lord Oikawa.

"Why is it, that he's our favorite rake, yet we've never actually seen what he looks like?"

"He's tall and handsome and has the prettiest eyes, or so I'm told. There cannot be many men that fit that description, can there?"

You discreetly point to a man standing in front of the painting of a fruit bowl, seemingly immersed in thought.

"There, he fits the bill perfectly, would you not say?"

Your friend follows your finger, before seeming to melt at the sight of the man.

"That's Baron Wakatoshi, he is quite tall and handsome, isn't he?"

"What about the man on the stairwell?"

"That's Lord Kuroo, he's quite a catch too, I must say-"

"What about him?" you whisper urgently, "in the center of the gaggle of mamas."

"That's Lord Kita, any lady who catches his eye would be the luckiest woman ever. And I mean ever-"

You groan, pressing your palm to your face. Why was Lord Sugawara acquainted with so many tall and handsome men? Granted he too was a part of the set, but surely friendship required more criteria? Perhaps a love of Plato, or horse riding?

Your friend suddenly tugs at your wrist, "that's him, oh my goodness, it has to be! Look at the refreshments, in the maroon coat, that's Lord Oikawa!"

An icy shiver bolted down your spine, as you glanced at the refreshments table. Now that you had found him, it was time to seduce him.

"The maroon coat you say?"

"Yes, he's reaching for that pastry look!"

You paused.

"That is not Lord Oikawa. That's Lord Miya."

Your friend looks at you with her eyes widened.

"You turned down a proposal from that man? It's worse than I thought!"

"No, I turned down a proposal from his brother, although they are identical, I suppose."

Your friend moaned," why haven't you introduced me to him, I could have been Lady Miya by now. You're a terrible friend."

"Er, I'm not exactly friends with him, but I'm sure he'll recognize me. Do you want an introduction now, or-"

A flash of navy catches the corner of your eye. You sharply turn your head, to watch a tall, dark-haired man slip out the garden door. Frowning, you glance at the clock, the final waltz would begin soon, and no gentleman would escape to the gardens right before it. It had to be him.

"I- I'm heading to the gardens, if Mama comes looking for me, tell her I'm in the gardens."

Your friend, still fixated on Lord Miya, flutters her hand in a go shoo motion. "Happy ravishment dear, tell me how it goes will you?"

♛

Tobio never should have believed Sugawara. Tonight's ball was worse than the previous and once Tobio caught sight of Oikawa it had been game over. Without looking back, he had rushed out the doors into the cool night. Making his way through the garden maze, he arrives at the center of it, where a small waterfall sparkles under the moonlight. Loosening his cravat, he pulls it off and slips it into his pocket, gulping fresh air. Tilting his head back, he closes his eyes, grateful for the solitary moment. He'd always hated the London ton- the socializing, the small talk, the judgement. Perhaps he ought to retire for the season and return back to his country home.

A rustling of skirts draws his attention, and he turns quickly, eyes flying open and, oh.

It's you. The girl from six years ago.

You don't quite look the same, but you do. Your stand straight now, eyes fixed on him. The same eyes, the same lips. Tobio feels the strongest urge to say something jocular, to hear you laugh again- to know if it was the same. However, before he can open his mouth, you're making your way to him, purpose in your steps. Instinctively he takes a step back, the back of his shins bumping into a stone bench.

"I," you begin, and Tobio's lips part at your voice.

"I," you say again, before stopping to take a deep breath. It takes every ounce of strength to Tobio has to not let his eyes flicker down as your bosom heaves with the motion.

"You're Lord Tooru Oikawa."

Tobio blinks. It cannot be, there's no way. No fucking way.

Before he can inject, you continue, effectively quashing any opportunity for him to rectify your mistake.

"I'm going to just say it, so please listen. I need to be ravished, right now."

Tobio's head has stopped working, and clearly so have his ears. There is no way in actual hell you said what he thought you did, and not to someone you thought was fucking Oikawa.

"I know it's improper to ask, and I'm not sure how these things go exactly, but I really need you to- to," you stumble over your words, clearly unsure what a ravishment entails.

Tobio finally finds his words and raises a hand to stop you.

"You have the wrong person, and I'm not sure why you're here, but your reputation would be ruined if you were to be found with me. Please let me leave you alone."

Heart pounding, he goes to move, but you quickly close in on the few paces that separate the two of you. Startled by your sudden proximity, Tobio drops down on the bench behind him.

"No, please. You don't understand- I need you to, to ruin me."

"You want to be fucked by Oikawa?" Tobio asks incredulously, feeling too confused and hurt to register the use of profanity before a young lady.

You frown, brow furrowing.

"Er, yes- I want to be ahem fucked, by you," you whisper the word, and a shiver runs down Tobio's back.

You move closer, placing your hands on his shoulders, and nudging his legs apart so that you can stand between them.

"Please, fuck me."

♛

You had no idea why Lord Oikawa was referring to himself in third person, but you decided to move on to more pressing matters. The man in question was looking up at you, eyes darkened, and mouth parted.

The rumors weren't wrong, and with a face like that- you could see why the ladies of the ton were queuing up to be ravished by this man.

There was something so curiously familiar about this man as well, although you suppose that was a part of his charm as well.

His hands rise to hover around the vicinity of your waist- hesistating.

Impatiently you guide his hands to your waist, heart backflipping as he immediately squeezes and pulls you closer to rest his head on your stomach.

"You don't know what you're asking for."

You shiver at his dark tone, acutely aware of his hands wandering, stopping occasionally to press into a particularly plush part.

"I know what I want."

"What if I were to tell you this is it? This is all there is to ravishment?"

"No!" you blurt out, sinking your hands into his hair and pulling, "it's not enough."

Inhaling sharply, he tugs, pulling you fully into his lap, knees on either side of his hips. Wrapping an arm around your waist he leans in, lips brushing yours as he speaks, warm breath fanning across your face.

"Say it again, tell me what you want."

Heat pooling in your lower stomach, you swallow once before you're able to get the words out. You feel your nipples peak, pushing against the thin silk of your dress.

"I want you to fuck me," you whisper, "I need you to fuck me."

His eyes flutter shut as slowly exhales, one hand sliding up your back to rest on your nape. Tilting your head back he leans forward and presses an open-mouthed kiss right in between your collarbones, then lower. You gasp as he licks across your décolletage, nipping at the swells of your breasts. Your nerves feel on fire, liquid lava coursing as he continues his ministrations.

"Who?" he murmurs, "Who do you need to fuck you?"

Whimpering you grind down on his lap, desperate for some sort of friction. Cursing softly, he rolls his hips up, and you whine as something hard presses against your core, at just the right angle- leaving you incapable of coherent thought.

"Please, again, just-" you cry, desperately searching for that rhythm again. Panting, he grips your waist again, lifting and moving you on his lap so that you're able to chase your pleasure.

The two of you rock together, Oikawa cursing under his breath as he scrambles to untie the laces holding your dress together. A faint part of you wonders why a rake with so much experience was struggling with a mere corset, but that thought vanishes the moment he slips his hands into your dress. Grinding against him, you frantically get rid of your gloves as he pushes your bodice down, baring yourself for him and the cool night. Sinking your hands into his hair you gasp again, as he nips at the edge of your nipple, before enveloping the entire thing.

"I. I'm-" you feel something building inside you, gasping for air.

"Yeah, just from this? Fuck, let go darling, I have you, just-"

You moan as your pleasure crashes over you, panting. He holds you close through it, pressing gentle kisses wherever he can reach. Panting, you come down from your high, hands gripping his shoulder for purchase.

Cheeks warm, you lift your head to look at him, finding his dark eyes trained on you.

"Open your mouth," he whispers, breath fanning over your face. Swallowing, you follow his orders.

"Wider."

You part your mouth even more. Pausing for a heartbeat, his eyes flicker down to your lips, before the corner of his mouth lifts- just barely- the beginnings of a half-smile. Leaning in, he licks into your mouth, muffling your whine. You move to kiss him back, but he sharply draws back.

"Did I say you could do that? Sit on my lap and keep your mouth open, just for me."

Eyes flickering shut, you part your mouth once more, waiting.

"You're such a good girl."

Saliva pools in your mouth as he continues licking, one hand gripping your jaw, palm resting against your neck, to keep you in position- the other slipping under your dress, flirting up your thigh.

Which is exactly how your mother, your aunt, and Lord Grant find the two of you.

♛

Your aunt's shriek pierces the night, causing the two of you to fly apart- well it would've, had Lord Oikawa not held firm on your very naked back. There was certainly no way to misconstrue what was happening here.

Biting your lip to hide a smile, you glance up at Lord Oikawa, who seems shell-shocked.

"What on earth is this! I cannot believe it, this- this is a mistake," your aunt continues, as more people start trailing over, alerted by your aunt's shriek. Your mother rushes over immediately, "Your dress, button up your dress, my god."

Oikawa seems to spring into action at this, sliding his coat off and covering you, ensuring you're completely covered before helping you slide off his lap and stand on your own. As more people crowd around, hushed murmurs and gasps fill the air, the rake strikes again!

The crowd parts as two tall gentlemen make their way.

"What is the issue here-"

"Oho? What indeed is the issue here?"

"Lord Sugawara, Lord Oikawa," the man behind you (still standing so close) begins, before stopping short.

You decide to take over, your plan had worked splendidly, might as well help the man out a little.

"Lord Sugawara, Lord Oikawa," you begin as well, curtseying to the best of your ability in the oversized coat.

Wait. Lord Oikawa?

You whip your head back at the man behind you, and then at the men in front of you.

"Lord Oikawa?" you ask again, hesitantly, and the man beside Lord Sugawara makes a noise of affirmation.

"Tobio-chan, it looks like you've surpassed me and Lord Miya!"

Dread fills you as you realize why Lord Oikawa, no, not-Lord-Oikawa had been speaking in third person and had been so insistent on names.

You turn to your mother, who looks like she's taken to praying, and then back to the man behind- now beside you.

Lord Kageyama.

Thoughts racing, you breathe. No harm done anyway, all you needed was to be ravished- what did it matter if it just so happened to be the quiet boy who had caught your eye six years ago, who had somehow turned into a rake. How did you not recognize him?

"Alright everyone, let's let the family handle this. Back to the ball, off you go," the other Lord Miya's voice cuts through the chatter, and you catch his bemused eye as he winks at you.

Your aunt comes forward, anger visible on her face.

"I will marry her."

Everyone stops.

Lord Kageyama turns to you, " Let's get married."

[fizzyxcustard]

Those Hands.

Masterlist of fan fiction

Fandom: The Hobbit

Pairings: Thorin Oakenshield x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Insecurity, comparison, angst, sexual references, mutual pining, idiots in love.

Comments/Notes: From the imagine, "Imagine that Thorin is in love with you (from the race of Men) but constantly compares his body and features with other men, thinking you find him disgusting." Requested by multiple readers and anons. (THANK YOU!)

I hope you like the fic. As always, like, reblog and comment if you enjoy. If you wish to be added to any of my tag lists, let me know.

Thorin watched every little interaction that you had with other males, whether they be Dwarves, Men or Elves. He couldn’t help but watch you blush, avert eye contact and use self-soothing gestures, such as touching your face, curling your hair with your fingers, or rubbing your upper arms. 

Since Thorin had been crowned King of Erebor, and re-building was underway, many people visited the mountain. Bard came from Esgaroth, often meeting with Thorin in council, to discuss trade deals and assistance in building. Much to Thorin’s distain, Thranduil of the Woodland Realm, also came. Again, he joined the council to converse around the subject of trade deals in precious metals and gemstones.  

Your relationship with Thorin was entirely built on trust. The two of you had been companions out on the road during the quest to re-take Erebor. He had always valued your opinion, spoke with you in private, and kept you close to him on his council of advisors. Erebor was now your home, despite you being of the race of Men. Your family were all gone, meaning that the Dwarves had now taken that place, welcoming you into the fold and treating you as one of their own. 

One morning, council was busy. Neldra, one of the kitchen staff, was on hand with jugs of cold drinks and pots of tea. Then once all the drinks were laid out neatly on intricately laced doilies, she came back with a trolley of fresh pastries. 

The smell was divine; you took an inhale and let the scent overtake you. Apple and cinnamon were among the selection: your favourite. 

You reached out to take one of the pastries, only to feel another hand graze yours. “I apologise,” a voice came, from the direction of the hand. 

It was Bard, from two seats down to your right hand side, who had stretched across to grab one of Neldra’s famous delicacies. “It was no bother,” you replied. “You first.” 

“Ladies first. I insist.” 

Thorin’s blue eyes studied the scene going on before him. No one else had noticed the exchange between you and Bard. Upon the impact of yours and Bard’s hands, Thorin felt a jolt in his chest. It rose up into his throat, and he closed his eyes for a brief second. The red hot sensation bore into him, feeling as if it were forming a hole straight through him. Upon opening his eyes, Thorin looked at his hands, then glanced across to Bard’s. The man’s hands were broad, but his fingers long and slender. Very much unlike Thorin’s. The Dwarf King’s fingers were short and bulky, with stubby ends. Surely Bard’s hands would have the dexterity and skill to caress your skin, drawing shivers from you. A Dwarf’s hands would be too calloused and thick to evoke any kind of pleasurable sensation upon a woman from the race of Men. 

Chatter continued, along with eating and drinking. In that time, Thorin tried his hardest to push the negative thoughts from his mind, and concentrate on the conversation at hand, which involved the realms of Erebor and Esgaroth exchanging skilled workers and apprentices. 

Thranduil was also present and merely rolled his eyes as the conversation got underway between Bard and Thorin. The Elven King did not like to waste his time, and being in this council meant that there were stints of time where his input was not needed. 

“Would you like another drink?” you asked Thranduil, picking up the nearest china pot of tea. 

“I would much prefer wine, but since I’m not within my realm, I would not say no.”

Thorin’s gaze darted over to Thranduil, and then to you. He saw you brush a piece of hair behind your ear, and then look up at the Elven King sat opposite you. Your ears were small, with one golden hoop earring in each lobe. Then Thorin looked at Thranduil’s ears; pointed at the tip, finely structured. They weren’t big, round and sticking out. Thorin’s ears were ugly, and thankfully he could keep them hidden under his long hair. Secretly, he had always imagined you whispering against them, your lips brushing them. It made Thorin shiver. 

Once council had concluded, Thorin left the chamber and headed back to the royal wing. Once inside and he stood in front of his full length dress mirror, staring at the protruding ears on the side of his head. Then he studied his large hands, thinking back to Bard’s. 

The males from the races of Men and Elves made you blush in a way that Thorin never had. Their bodies were more finely crafted, which complemented yours. They had finer features with smaller noses and brows. 

Thorin shifted back and sat on his bed, his hands in his lap. He took one more glance at them, feeling disgusted at what he saw. They would never be good enough for you. None of his body would ever be good enough for you. Everything about him was oversized, not delicate and handsome like Bard and Thranduil. Both of them had lost their wives, and may have wished to re-marry, so they would make better husbands for you. 

***

The following day and Thorin was sat in the council room, signing documents. His quill scratched loudly against the parchment. 

You walked in, holding a further stack of documents in your hands. “These should be the last ones,” you said, offering a smile. 

Thorin looked up at you. No blush on your face to be seen. 

“Is everything alright?” you asked. There was something in his eyes, a thoughtfulness. Maybe even a sadness. You sat down in an empty seat next to Thorin. “What’s wrong?” On impulse, you placed your hand on top of his. 

Thorin looked at your hands, watching your thumb gently caress his knuckle. How huge his hand looked against yours. But how right it felt, as if the size did not matter, and they were still able to fit together as one. 

“There is nothing wrong,” Thorin said, forcing a weak smile. “I hear that Bard is leaving this afternoon. Will you not be wishing him farewell?” 

“I barely know him,” you replied. “I’d feel it strange to do so.” 

“Would you wish to get to know him?” 

“I don’t know. Why do you ask?”

“Surely you find him handsome,” Thorin continued, pulling the new stack of documents over towards him. 

“Not really. Can’t say I do. There’s some reason to you asking this, Thorin.” 

“Why would I have any reason?” 

“There’s always a reason to anything that you ask. I know you enough by now. Talk to me. You’ve always given me more trust than I deserve, and never questioned me liked this before.” 

Thorin took a deep inhale and looked at you, dropping his quill. “Who do you find handsome? If not Bard, maybe Thranduil?” 

You couldn’t help but laugh. “Why ever would you think I’m attracted to King Thranduil?” The whole idea was so comical that you couldn’t help but keep giggling. “It takes….” You couldn’t stop the giggling. “A special….kind of woman….to…..” 

Thorin also began to chuckle, watching your face turn red in amusement and delight. His heart somehow felt lighter as he watched you, and that overwhelming love for you rose. It was a love that would allow him to do anything to make you happy. It was a love that would make him sacrifice his very life to keep you safe. It was sacrificial and unconditional. 

You could see the glow in Thorin’s eyes and the smile which curled his lips upwards. He was the one you found handsome, above all others. The intensity in his eyes made butterflies swarm in your stomach. His proud presence caused you to shiver whenever he entered a room. His voice was enough to make your imaginations travel to another place where only the two of you were, locked away in comfort, pursuing wondrous pleasure. 

You edged closer to Thorin. “You said you want to know who I find handsome?” 

Thorin’s heart was hammering now and he was sure that you would be able to hear it. 

“It’s you.” Your voice was a whisper. “It’s always been you. How could it not be you? Why would you ever think I’d be attracted to Bard and Thranduil?” 

Thorin closed his eyes in embarrassment. “My features and body are not like theirs.” 

“So why would that not make you handsome?” 

“My hands…” 

“Your hands?” you giggled. This time a blush did hit your cheeks, and it was even more vivid than it had ever been when in the company of any other man. “You have found out my secret.” 

“What secret?” Thorin asked, shifting ever so slightly closer to you. He had never wanted you any more than he did in those moments. The very thought that it was him that you found handsome was making his whole being rise, but anticipation was now racing down his spine in shivers. 

“I have had a fantasy for some time now, since meeting you, of what you could do to me with those hands,” you said, biting your lip. 

Thorin couldn’t hold back any more and moved even closer to you, his hand cupping your cheek. His breath was elevated and his eyes were sparkling with so much joy, but slight fear. 

His lips crashed against yours and you both groaned upon impact. Within seconds and the kiss had grown deep, your tongues both meeting. You couldn’t help but whimper as Thorin’s lips left yours and trailed down your neck. His beard tickled your skin and then as he grew more impatient, you could feel the tickle become a bristling, sharp sensation. Your hands became lost in his hair as he nuzzled at your neck, groaning and grunting. 

Thorin felt your fingertips brush over his ears, and it drew an overwhelming shiver from his very core. 

“I love you, Thorin,” you said again. “Now show me what you can do with those hands.” 

***

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[iamnotshazam]

Aragorn's surprised to learn Arwen is Elrond's daughter in the RotK appendices not only because elven lifespans means 'whoops, everyone just forgot the little mortal boy needed to be told Elrond has a third child!' but also because on the rare occasions when he heard Elladan and Elrohir talking about some girl named "Arwen," it was them talking about her in a familial way and in relation to how a boy like Estel would have felt about her - i.e. an annoying little girl: "augh remember when arwen threw our quivers onto the roof, all because we wouldn't play goblin tea party with her?" elladan says

"what is goblin tea party even supposed to be?" asks child estel

"making mud and sticks into little cakes and finding more creative ways to insult the other person," elrohir says

"and if you can't come up with a good insult, you get a mud pie to the face," elladan says. "what's she up to nowadays with grandma?"

elrohir says, "last i heard she was learning how to make lembas from three acorns, a burnt doily, and the ground bone-meal of a squirrel. grandma galadriel says you can never be too prepared."

"that's first age, trauma, that," elladan sighs. they go back to teaching estel how to follow deer trails and skin rabbits.

and Aragorn files this information away as 'ARWEN: Feral Sinda (Avari?) (Elven???) Girl-shaped Creature' that Elrond's family are for some unimaginable reason attached to. Then a decade later he sees Arwen through the trees and it's a ✨meet cute✨ cause he thinks she's like Lúthien, blah blah he's obviously smitten, he puffs out his chest and gives her his Big Boy chieftain name and title. She smiles and nods politely.

And then she says her name and relation to Elrond and Aragorn screams a little inside and has to scramble for pretending like he hasn't heard of her, or even that Elrond's family are immortal, in order to cover the shock that he would have expected her to come crawling out of the underbrush a wild preteen gremlin witch with twigs in her hair, and is instead the Ladiest Lady that ever Ladied. Confessing that her brothers have been sharing embarassing childhood stories with you, the mortal foster-brother, is not first date material.

[speaksleazy]

┣[ "|"|"|" ]═─ SHY DOLL NPUTS ﹙for @thehauntedcemetery ﹚— predominantly feminine, some masculine

◜NAMES◞ — doll﹙dolly，dollie，babydoll﹚，doily﹙doilie﹚， demure， muse，adelaide，theodora，murmur，porcelynn，sweetiebelle，nina，nicodème¹，hyde，genevieve，genoveva，bambi﹙bambina²，bambino²﹚，melody ﹙melodie﹚，bernadette，alena³，visage，meek，anxious ﹙anxiesse﹚，sweetheart，lilac，lavender，bashful ﹙bashfelle﹚，wisp ﹙whisp，whisper﹚，teddy，kewpie⁴，esther⁵，rose，lovelace，marionette，puppet ﹙puppette﹚，poppet ﹙poppette﹚，lolita，nelly，lyla，teacup，coquette，essie，corsette，shiver，trembelle，drusilla，josie，hiccup，sidney

¹ French, pronounced 'nico-dem'. ² Italian. ³ Slovak. ⁴ A kind of doll. ⁵ Hebrew.

◜PRONOUNS◞ — she shy， de dear，lae lace，coo croon，mur murmur，mu mutter，ti timid，porce porcelain，pose posed，toy toytime，play playtime，tea teatime，me meek，joint jointed，de demure，whi whisper，dress dressup，coy coys，coquette coquetteish，shi shiver，pitter patter，kew kewpie

◜USERS◞ — demure-demeanor，bashfulnessa，teatime-with-﹙name﹚，shyaway-plaything，coytoy ﹙coyboytoy﹚，no-ones-toy ﹙no-girls-toy，no-boys-toy，no-beings-toy﹚，shyd-ll，inthecorner-ontheshelf，cutiekewpie，porcelainxious ﹙porcelainxiety﹚，shudder-mutter，coquettemarionette，meekionette，scaredy-puppet，eep-upette，demuremurmur，demurmur，b-shful

◜TITLES◞ — ＿＿ who hides ＿ face in ＿ hands ﹙＿＿ who's face is hidden in ＿ hands﹚，＿＿ with a muttered ﹙stuttered，murmured，whispered，hushed﹚voice，＿＿ posed on the shelf，＿ shy demeanor，the quiet one，＿＿ with porcelain skin，＿＿ with glassy eyes，＿＿ cowering on the shelf，＿＿ who's heart goes pitter-patter，your most demure plaything，the meekest doll ﹙puppet，marionette，plush，toy﹚

PT: (Syringe emoticon) Shy doll names, pronouns, usernames, and titles (for @/thehauntedcemetery). Predominantly feminine, some masculine.

Names: Doll/Dolly/Dollie/Babydoll, Doily/Doilie, Demure, Muse, Adelaide, Theodora, Murmur, Porcelynn, Sweetiebelle, Nina, Nicodème (French, pronounced 'Nico-deme), Hyde, Genevieve, Genoveva, Bambi/Bambina/Bambino (Italian), Melody/Melodie, Bernadette, Alena, Visage, Meek, Anxious/Anxiesse, Sweetheart, Lilac, Lavender, Bashful/Bashfelle, Wisp/Whisp/Whisper, Teddy, Kewpie (A kind of doll), Esther (Hebrew), Rose, Lovelace, Marionette, Puppet/Puppette, Poppet/Poppette, Lolita, Nelly, Lyla, Teacup, Coquette, Essie, Corsette, Shiver, Trembelle, Drusilla, Josie, Hiccup, Sidney

Pronouns: She/shy, De/dear, Lae/lace, Coo/croon, Mur/murmur, Mu/mutter, Ti/timid, Porce/porcelain, Pose/posed, Toy/toytime, Play/playtime, Tea/teatime, Me/meek, Joint/jointed, De/demure, Whi/whisper, Dress/dressup, Coy/coys, Coquette/coquetteish, Shi/shiver, Pitter/patter, Kew/kewpie

Usernames: demure-demeanor, bashfulnessa, teatime-with-(name), shyaway-plaything, coytoy/coyboytoy, no-ones-toy/no-girls-toy/no-boys-toy/no-beings-toy, shyd-ll, inthecorner-ontheshelf, cutiekewpie, porcelainxious/porcelainxiety, shudder-mutter, coquettemarionette, meekionette, scaredy-puppet, eep-upette, demuremurmur, demuremur, b-shful

Titles: (Pronoun) who hides (pronoun) face in (pronoun) hands/(Pronoun) who's face is hidden in (pronoun) hands, (Pronoun) with a muttered/stuttered/murmured/whispered/hushed voice, (Pronoun) posed on the shelf, (Pronoun) shy demeanor, The quiet one, (Pronoun) with porcelain skin, (Pronoun) with glassy eyes, (Pronoun) cowering on the shelf, (Pronoun) who's heart goes pitter-patter, Your most demure plaything, The meekest doll/puppet/marionette/plush/toy. End PT.

[the-nosy-neighbor]

Toys in the Catalog

I had mentioned Eddie looking at his number and being "stretched thin" so I thought I'd put together all of the catalog images and see if the numbers mean anything to me.

Starting here. Poppy looks dead eyed in this image, while the others have very happy faces. You can't say it is the toy, necessarily, since the others look happy. She seems to have a paper tail and paper feathers on her head. Her feet are super cute.

If you haven't seen one of these, this is how it works. More of a science toy than anything. This one is a bit scarier looking.

Poppy is the same price as Eddie, while the others are a bit higher. I can envision how these toys work by the design. Super cool designs.

We've looked at this a couple of times. Eddie appears to be checking out his price. Wally and Frank pillows are quite a bit more expensive than the other toys. Is this framing them as the most popular? They are more than an entire jack-in-the-box. Barnaby I have mentioned before, because it is another bisected Barn. I think we will see him in pieces before this is over.

This is framed as gifts for your home, like Wally was looking at for Home. The cuckoo clock here is home, and is featured prominently in Eddie's breakdown in Commercials. As we watch Eddie unravel, we see an above view of the clock (and I haven't found anything else in that image, not for a lack of trying) as well as a straight on view, which shows the clock moving, but not smoothly or in time. It starts and stops, pauses longer than you think it should. This says that Wally pops out instead of a cuckoo, though Poppy might have been more traditional. We don't get to see Wally come out of the clock.

The clock reads 3:30. I don't see anything that would designate day or night. This is quite a bit more than most things, because it's a complex clock.

Then we have a tea set, which seems to be the big image it is giving us about Poppy. Doilies and tea. Over and over. We will have to remember. Wally does tap his tea cup at Poppy's in a hidden video. Still trying to figure it out, but they keep showing it to us.

Finally, a tree skirt. It's expensive, but those things always are. I love the design, and all the neighbors. We see this design in a video or still somewhere else, maybe? I will keep an eye out. This features all the neighbors as gingerbread men as well as has cut outs of their symbols. I think it is odd that Home is by Eddie and not Wally, but maybe they are mixing it up.

Final page, with records. On the holiday records: one for $5.89 or all for $15.89. There are five records below on this page and it says "continued on next page," so that is not all. All of the records that we have seen so far are here. A was in the exhibit, as well as the first ad with the missing item. We saw B in the exhibit, and it was on the record player on the Merchandise page; it plays the Alice in Wonderland bit. C is Halloween, D was some of the earliest merch, and E is mentioned, but we are told that we have part of the audio, not the full record. Generally, when it says that, we shouldn't trust it. Something to consider.

Presumably, there are more records. The records are Marlo.

The price on these seem pretty standard and in line with the rest of the catalog. The single and Painting with Wally are cheaper, we assume because it is a shorter album. On the pricing generally, we are seeing a lot of ".89" but I assume this is for the same reason things are priced at the upper end, to be smaller than a dollar increase while practically being at the next dollar amount. Eddie and Poppy's toys are the only ones at $1.89. Given that they are both bullied characters, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some kind of connection there.

One thing I didn't mention, is that Marlo is listed on this page, but it isn't elsewhere. I think I mentioned during a post on "Commercials" that there is a different company for those toys. Pretty sure Marlo did these records and the phones, at least. The other company is named "The You-Won't-Believe-It Company." They did the Wally Ball And Cup. They have other items in the video, I think. I noticed and wondered if there was something going on there, because we have only seen Marlo so far.

[lauramkaye]

Okay so like we all love a story where Bilbo ends up picking up dwarf habits/expressions after the Adventure. Braids! Swearing in Khuzdul under his breath! Saying "Mahal" instead of "Aulë"! Using hilariously inappropriate expressions like "by my beard!" All great.

However I think I may be even MORE charmed by any of the Company but especially Thorin (who is, you know, ALIVE and FINE) starting to do HOBBIT things as well. Especially if it is done through a desire to make Bilbo feel more accepted/welcome. And extra especially if it is done on purpose with that patented Thorin Oakenshield Complete Lack Of Any Chill Whatsoever, Any Time, About Anything.

I just love to think of the King Under The Mountain sending spies to the Shire to learn their secrets, or commissioning a set of extremely over the top gemstone-encrusted doilies for the council chamber, or getting the weaver's guild to make gossamer-fine brocades depicting Bilbo's most heroic deeds that are turned into pocket handkerchiefs that Thorin uses ostentatiously. Instituting an official royal Afternoon Tea. Learning folksy Shire expressions like it's a foreign language and using them with immense gravitas at court. And then immediately darting a look at Bilbo to see if he noticed.

And Bilbo nearly giving himself an internal injury repressing giggles, because Thorin is trying SO HARD and he's touched, he really is, it's just that the image of him sitting on his throne in his royal finery in front of these dwarf lords and talking like Gaffer Gamgee--while all the other dwarfs nod along solemnly--is the funniest damn thing he's seen in all his days.

(I love them so.)

[maeofthenoldor]

As Tolkien often observed; “names often generate a story” and always nearly contributed or suggested something of the nature or personality of the character, thing or place that has been named. Yet the most intriguing name he has created in my opinion, is the main protagonist of “The Hobbit” Bilbo Baggins who is the hero of the classic tale, and despite being seen as such, his name holds interesting and contradicting connotations. For Baggins suggests harmless, humble and well- contented characters (though with criminal undertones!) Yet the name Bilbo suggests an individual who is sharp, intelligent and even dangerous….

The family name of Bilbo is  “Baggins” which derives from a double source-the English Somerset surname Bagg, which means “moneybag” or “wealthy.” The term “Baggins" itself means “afternoon tea or snack between meals” and at first is appropriate in describing our well off  hobbit. Initially he is presented as a mildly comic, home-loving, upper middle class “gentle hobbit” who seems harmless and composed enough, if given to some annoyance. He is mostly concerned with his mothers dishes, doilies, domestic comforts and food. However, once recruited by Thorin and his Company, we see the respectable gentle hobbit reveal his true colours- he is an excellent and highly skilled burglar.

Tolkien has maintained that his tales are often inspired by names and words from the real world, and indeed, in the jargon of the nineteenth-and early twentieth century criminal underworld there were a cluster of names around the term “bag” and forms of theft. “To bag” means to capture, to acquire, or to steal. “A baggage man” is an outlaw who carries off the loot and a “bagman” is the man who collects and distributes gold on the behalf of others by dishonest means or purposes.

His surname not only characterises himself, but also plots out the narrative for the story. For in the hobbit we discover Baggins is hired by Dwarves to bag the Arkenstone. He then becomes the baggage man who carries off the loot. When he realises Thorin has fallen under the gold sickness, he becomes the bagman and is dishonest to the newly crowned king, distributing the Arkenstone to Thrandruil and Bard. After the Battle Of The Five Armies he hands out the treasure to those who are rightfully in need of it, and thus ends him being the bagman.

Another aspect of Bilbo Baggins character can be revealed by the analysis of his first name. The word “Bilbo” entered the English language in the late sixteenth century as a name for a short and deadly piercing sword of the kind once made in the Spanish port city of Bilbao where the name derives from. This is an excellent description of Bilbo's elvish sword (often called a letter opener) named “Sting.” Found in the troll hoard, Bilbo's “bilbo” can pierce through any animal hide that would break any other sword. In The Hobbit however, it is the hero's sharp wit rather than his sword that gives Bilbo his sharpness. Bilbo's well-honed wits allow him to survive the journey and to trick monsters, a dragon  and to get himself out of bad situations. 

When we put these two names together as Bilbo Baggins, we fully understand the two aspects of his character, showing someone who is dangerously witty, but ultimately good and humble to a fault. If we want to dig deeper into how these names also affected the events of the Lord Of The Rings, one has to look no further than Frodo Baggins.

 Along with the Baggins family name, further “baggage” is passed on to Bilbo's nephew and heir, Frodo Baggins who in the context of the one ring is a link to another underworld occupation; the bagger or the bag thief. This bagger or bag thief has nothing to do with baggage, but is derived from the French word bauge, meaning “ring.” A bagger then, is a thief who specialises in stealing rings by seizing a victim's hand and stripping off its rings. It had common usage in Britain's criminal underworld between 1890 to 1940. The Baggins name holds the idea and plot for both The Hobbit and Lord Of The Rings. For Bilbo's skill as a burglar, one might say that in the perspective of outsiders, the Baggins baggers of Bag End, Bilbo and Frodo, are naturally born ring thieves.