#tbh it’s mostly the fact that thinking about apps in the fall is making me queasy

[euelios]

i’ll be honest after this term the idea of going straight into grad school isn’t looking great

[w1f1n1ghtm4r3]

followup fun facts about together, to that promised aquarium

this is gonna be just kinda a disorganized post of random things so uh. dont mind that.

the event title is actually a double reference ^^ its both a callback to 1dt with 1c promising to find time to do things as friends despite getting busier (even if theres no ichika this time), and also a reference to harusakis first kizuna!

colopale you still havent given us that aquarium they said theyd go to. theres a reason i had to do it myself. the fact that theres not an aquarium event in general is a crime tbh i know theres some romantic connotations with a pair going to an aquarium but theres very easy solutions to avoiding that? sending a group of 3+ characters together, having them run into other characters while there, inviting someone else along (even if they cant go, it helps make it feel more like a friend thing i think). i did a bit of the latter two, as you mightve noticed! in general though its just SUCH an obviously fun event theme i cant beleive we havent had one yet

while i am a known harusaki shipper, i kept the story pretty light on the stuff that could be read as explicitly shippy, since when im trying to make fake events, i like to think about how itd work in canon, which means keeping it low on explicit ship content. plenty of stuff that could be taken as ship food (as id like it to be!) but nothing that would alienate non shippers from enjoying the story too.

i actually didnt write shizukasas presence as intended for ship content at all though, but im definitely okay with people taking it that way lol they can be on a date too if you want them to be. my plan with them was simply theyre childhood friends too but dont get to spend time together that often anymore -> their schedules line up with a free day and tsukasa heard about the aquarium from saki, decides to invite shizuku to go there with him as a part of hanging out together -> surprise encounter with harusaki!

also both of them were scoring quite high on the form when i decided to lock in the lineup (tsukasa was absolutely sweeping the 2* category, and while shizuku wasnt winning anything, she was a pretty popular choice) and theyre very easy to work into a story together and also into a story that is focused on harusaki (╯���╰ ) the benefits of siblings and unitmates

(tsukasa 2* poll sweep at the time of me solidifying my lineup)

the event and gacha names actually both came to me one night while i was about to fall asleep. struck by inspiration so strong i had to grab my phone and write them down in my notes app. and they actually worked very well! also heres the transparents of the logos if you want them i guess

the card/skill/costume names also mostly came to me in similar ways, in the last couple nights before i finished everything. i think only saki, luka, and shizukus skills didnt come to me that way.

while the rui fish in tsukasa card might be obvious, theres actually more animals referencing other characters too! theres a group of three fish in sakis card that are the colors of the rest of leoni, the sneakiest of the bunch, and also not quite as sneaky but maybe not as obvious as the rui fish is the airi and minori sea slugs :)

i did think about giving tsukasa fish to be emu and nene too, but that many differently colored fish in a 2* seemed like too much, so i didnt do it... at least of the units involved, 2/3 of them are fully represented in some way!

and now most importantly probably, is that this is in fact my second pass at an aquarium event! the original one i started back in 2022 and......... i think you guys can figure out why i couldnt just reuse it when i decided to go for making an aquarium event again this time.

yep, youre seeing that right. 4/5 of the characters i chose are the same as what ended up being 1dt, all i got wrong was the vs. thats pretty crazy, honestly. im still not fully convinced colopale isnt just stealing my ideas after val3 happened too /j

it was also saki focus actually! i had written out a rough idea for the story back then too, and while theres some similarities to the current one, it obviously went through a lot of changes when revising the lineup and also with everything that has happened in the story over the past two years. it was definitely a bit more explicitly shippy than my new attempt, although i still tried to keep the shipping stuff toned back somewhat

i only ever made one card for that set though, just lukas 2*... but thats the original reason i made the old 2* backgrounds! its always those fake events throwing me into the graphic design trenches (fist shake) i had been trying to do a more canon-accurate style to......... mixed success. its not terrible, but i definitely could not have done the full set like this. theres a reason i did promised aquarium in my own style!

the original theme for the set was kind of like..... performers at an aquarium? along with living water sculptures of animals. it was a fun idea, but i think i was much better suited to doing the underwater scenes of promised aquarium and also we have plenty of performance themed trained sets already ^^

considering i also technically kept her from the original set (plus she was also winning the vs poll), i gave her a higher rarity card this time around for fun. and also because i knew none of shizuku tsukasa or luka would have super significant roles in the story, and i thought it would be fun to design a lim hairstyle for her!

one final random fun fact: the thing that kicked me into gear making promised aquarium was the fact that haruka wasnt on beautiful sound. i was just a little mad that they had an underwater set WITH A PENGUIN COSTUME and there was no haruka. sometimes petty beef brings out my craziest motivations and then i proceeded to spend the better part of a month planning and making it happen.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Okay I was going to come up here and say how I feel like the 27 Chosens I have in my au might be cut down. But then I thought as to why that is, and I came to this conclusion:

Some of them don't have much to do. There's TLH, of course, but it feels like they're just there for that, you know? Extra help for TLH only to just be yeeted into non existence. And I don't want that for my Chosens, regardless of the legendary that Chose them.

The main ones that I'm worried about are the team go leaders and Wally. The team go leaders where kinda smacked onto this, and I feel like I haven't given them a proper story? Partly due to the very little knowledge I have on Pokemon Go, but also like. What can I do with them, other than being Chosens. They can't really function like they do in the mobile app, and unlike Lear, who pretty much caused other Chosens to be aware of TLH, they don't really do much in terms of plot.

Going onto Wally, I know the why he was Chosen. But the jow continues to evade me. Especially with how Jirachi seems like the worst Chooser,only for the fact that it's asleep the majority of the time. Sure,in the game Jirachi is awake and able to use but I dunno in terms of lore. I could go back to the original idea of having Kohaku be Groudon's Chosen and Wally be Kyogre's Chosen, but I'm not sure of that either. It really begs the question if I should have him be a Chosen at all. It's really frustrating!

Silver is kinda like this since time travel is cool but only when Celebi is around and his slight time alternating powers can only really do so much. However, he has the benefit of being Kenji's lover, so that already gets him more involved and when I say that out loud it kinda seems like Silver is just "the lover" when he's definitely more than that and I should really treat him as such. Sorry Silver, I was doing you dirty up until now with the Chosen stuff.

I think the best way to remedy this feeling is to possibly make short side stories for these characters? And not just non protagonist Chosens, but like in general, create side stories for characters ( oc and canon alike) that makes them feel more involved, with the main plot of TLH mostly falling in the hands of my protag oc Chosens. I need to think of actual plot ideas for these hypothetical side stories, but it might be what I was looking for.

Wally ( and tbh, Kohaku) are still in question. Groudon fits Kohaku well, but Kyogre with Wally? I dunno. I don't know exactly how to present this in the plot since the Legendaries end up being tied to Archie and Maxie, both of whom ended up getting Cursed because of it.

[taraxacum-vulpes]

YOU do all of them!!!!!!!

you can still ask a free question :eyeroll:

What is your nickname? I don't think I have any they're mostly like one-person-specific 😔 or like just my name my name is short enough

When is your birthday? i don't celebrate and i'm still trying to choose a date 😔 rn jan 01 but considering oct 22 (tartaglia anniversary day)

What was your longest relationship? like... 9 months... it's not going good for me chat

What is your favorite book? ermm for the blorbos Shadow of the Fox - Julie Kagawa, for worldbuilding/plot/literally everything else, The Finishing School or The Custard Protocol - Gail Carriger (what a surprise i don't shut up about them)

What is something you're insecure about? the lengths i will go to be accepted by people is EMBARRASSING!!!!!! i need to get a grip

5 Male/Female celebrity crushes i dreamt i was flirting with this one person i follow on ig a while back. i think i sent you his leon kennedy cosplay. still giggling a little. i wouldn't call it a crush though

What is your dream job? getting paid 500000 every day forever and ever for being cute

What do you consider your biggest accomplishment? enduring the horrors. also getting my cousin to like me.

What is a fact about you that nobody would believe? ermmm i think all of my ginfacts are pretty believable 😔 i love public speaking and presenting it's so fun. i peaked w my projective geometry presentation last year.

What were your highs and lows for this last month? my classmate and i met up for school but outside of class yesterday and i'm still riding that high. my math prof was happy w me i finished all of the hw for this exam 😋 but also The Horrors.

Where is somewhere you'd like to visit? i would kill to see a teamlab exhibition. but like. any interactive/immersive art exhibition. pleasepleasepleaseplease

How do you de-stress? I don't particularly get stressed? probably youtube. those 1-3hr lets plays yk.

What are your favorite apps besides tumblr? I probably use discord the most?? my mewts are in there.

Describe yourself in one sentence. the horrors persist but so must i

What do you think makes you attractive? ummm i hope my energy?? i'd like to be able to light up a room (one day i'll get there 😭) physically though i like my eyes

What is something you're really good at? ermmm baking 😋

What is something you're really bad at? i can't make pancakes to save my life. you put a pan and a stove and ingredients down in front of me and it's either burnt, misshapen, disgusting-tasting, or all three.

A time that you told a lie. "No, I didn't forget" i did. 100%

What's a totally random and useless fact that you know? there's about 4500-4600 species of cockroaches. about 30 of them are commonly known as pests, with the most common in the states being american, german, brown-banded, and oriental. they generally prefer dark and humid areas. bathroom roaches are pretty common.

Who knows you the best? ermm rex aside, probably rowan tbh.. 😭 maybe doll or tired

What is your most prized possession? the rowkitty plush. he comes with us everywhere. him or the saki tenma doll my irl crocheted for me for valentines day (also lives in my bag)

What is your longest friendship? i think irl 4 years? 4 and a half? online i think jake or lane. jesus christ the passage of time

When did you first feel like an adult? i am not and i do not feel anywhere close to it 😭 but maybe like Being Taken More Seriously when my parents/teachers started casually swearing around me.

Do you/ Have you played any sports? I did soccer for 3 years? spring and fall. i've been doing figure skating for the past 6, but not as much this past year bc of The Horrors 😔

How are you feeling right now? the horrors (eating cold overnight refrigerated rice) (it's so dry chat i can't do this) but i just got the THIRD batch of cakes out of the oven and this one finally looks good 😭 the horrors have been sooo mean to me today the other two recipes didn't turn out good. the first one had too many eggs the second one . felt like a hockey puck tbh. the second one i can probably assemble and give to the neighbors but idk what to do with the first one. it tastes. like something.

Are you an early bird or a night owl? tired all the time avian. maybe slightly leaning night owl.

Do you believe in love at first sight? no but i'm definitely a victim of infatuation at first sight. it's so bad.

Favorite song lyrics right now? ummmmmmm i can't decide 😋 maybe carnivore starset or like the dawn the oh hellos

What does self care look like for you? takoyaki and forge labs

Describe yourself with 3 singers. MCR, Royal & the Serpent, Yunomi

What makes you nervous? ermmm the only thing i can think of is drinking around people/in public?? bc i don't like taking my mask off like at all at all i'll explode if someone sees me without it. or like having to do something new, even assisted

What’s a pet peeve you have? specifically bc of mermay but tails that fold like legs... like knees... i can't do it. that looks like it hurts so bad. anyways people that consider liking twilight style vampires as monsterfuckery. that's just a human with spice sorry.

What will always make you cry? EP 7 VIOLET EVERGARDEN it gets me every time man. also yuri on ice.

What kind of first impression do you think you make on people? ummm good natured, i hope 😭 but probably weird (/neg) at first

[chimmyrockbison]

MASTERLIST Updated 03/20/2021

COMPLETED AO3 FICS [Kim Taehyung/Park Jimin]

1. The Sound of Your Heart

Summary: There was something so easy about it, it was almost scary. Taehyung didn’t want to feel this way, didn’t want to feel this overwhelming fondness; but not unlike his head, his heart was hard to persuade once it had decided a path. And Taehyung was scared that it had decided on the mute new boy with pretty features and a warm smile.

Words: 144,014

2. All the King's Men

Summary: Castle servants Jimin and Taehyung find themselves involved in a game with the Crown Prince.

Words: 52,531

3. golden haze

Summary: Taehyung watches Jimin’s mouth twist into a pout, forming the word ‘fucking’ with his thick lips before he’s whipping out his translation device again. Taehyung doesn’t have time to stop him when various pornographic images pop up on his holographic screen, Jimin’s eyes widening with intrigue, his mouth falling open at the suggestive images in front of him.

(or: lonely college student taehyung harbors an alien fugitive in his apartment. nothing goes as planned.)

Words: 34,850

4. Drag'on Together (Love Is Its Own Magic)

Summary: “I swear to God, Taehyung if you stop to pick up one more rock because you think it might be some sort of rare stone, I’m leaving you here,” Jimin huffs as he tries to sound intimidating.

“Jiminnie, we both know you wouldn’t survive a minute without me, so stop with the empty threats, okay?” Taehyung replies, happily ignoring his dark-haired friend.

Jimin would argue, he would, if it wasn’t for the fact that Taehyung was right.

or

The time Taehyung and Jimin finds a blue rock and it turns out to be so much more.

Words: 30,554

5. even the weariest river

Summary: It's moments like this that make Taehyung panic. The open derision on each courtier's face, the scorn of his brother as he turns from his prey. The slit of Park Jimin's eyes, just barely open and dark and hateful, as Taehyung swallows and squares his shoulders and says—

"I want to claim him."

The tides of war change, and sweep Taehyung and Jimin along with them.

Words: 152,979

6. i fell in love with the pizza delivery guy (and then i blew him in the bathroom)

Summary: Send your best delivery guy. Preferably cute, preferably packing.

“You're the one who ordered me,” Taehyung says. Not exactly a question; more of a statement.

“Well, I ordered pizza; you just happen to be a delightful bonus,” Jimin clarifies, lips drawn up in a smirk that sets Taehuyung’s blood on fire in a most delectable way. “Although, had I known a pretty face like yours was working there...maybe I would have been more specific with my instructions. At least I know for next time.”

(or, Jimin orders pizza and a little something extra, and Taehyung delivers without really knowing what he's signing up for)

Words: 18,438

7. Grand Jeté

Summary: Refusing to spend another night alone, Taehyung surprises his perfectionist of a boyfriend Jimin at his dance studio with the intent of dragging him home. But their pent-up emotions from spending time apart has the visit ending with a lot of kissing and a little experimenting.

Words: 8,200

8. Already Midnight

Summary: On New Year's Eve, Taehyung is drunk. So drunk that he doesn't recognize Jimin as his boyfriend. When Jimin kisses him at midnight, Taehyung threatens to call his man- aka Jimin.

Words: 3,951

9. Worth The Risk

Summary: The rules are simple: no kissing on the lips, no petnames, no cuddling after sex, no sleepovers, no labels, and no catching feelings.

It should be simple. In fact, it would be simple, if it weren’t for one tiny thing...Taehyung is pretty sure he’s in love with Jimin. And that’s absolutely against the rules.

Words: 23,645

10. Common Ground

Summary: Taehyung is rich, a little bit bratty, a lot a bit spoiled, and failing calculus. Jimin works full time, tutors, and is a straight-A student. There's a rulebook somewhere that states very clearly that people like Jimin should never associate with people like Taehyung. But rules are meant to be broken. And opposites always, always attract.

Words: 44,136

11. This is not a dream

Summary: He would think they were ships in the night if not for the fact that every night, Jimin lays his head in Taehyung’s lap and Taehyung runs fingers without nerve endings through his hair. If they didn't have this false, teasing closeness long enough to learn every detail of each other's lives, long enough that Jimin is the person Taehyung spends the most time with by a mile.

(Jimin leaves. Two months later, he falls in love with Taehyung.)

Words: 12,370

12. Shooting Stars and Silver Moons

Summary: Yoongi and Jimin make a bet, Taehyung makes bad decisions.

(Or: "I'm kind of pissed you didn't choose me to fake date, I'm your best friend")

Words: 20,206

13. the whole world is blue

Summary: Taehyung is not going to confess. That kind of thing never ends well. The movies are wrong. It doesn't always turn out to be mutual. Real life isn't so romantic like that.

Words: 10,829

14. Swipe Right

Summary: As a best friend, Jimin will do anything for Taehyung. This includes being his fake boyfriend to ward off the unwanted attention Taehyung is receiving after using a dating app and agreeing to meet someone.

Words: 26,085

15. Define Me in Terms of You

Summary: This is either Taehyung's greatest idea, or his worst.

“So, let me get this straight. You want me to teach you how to play guitar, join a fake band and enter a competition just so that you can impress a guy you like?"

Words: 9,808

16. i just adore you asking for more

Summary: Taehyung is a successful model looking for a discreet release. Jimin is a professional dom who won’t judge his browsing history.

Words: 90,201

17. Sirius

Summary: "Dude, our entire relationship could be an Ed Sheeran album."

Words: 16,955

18. it's your heart i wanna live (& sleep) in

Summary: The first time Jimin sleeps over at Taehyung's, it's an emergency. The other times after? That's a different story.

Words: 22,658

19. kissing up on fences (and up on walls, i don't want to fall)

Summary: They’ve always been close, Taehyung and Jimin. Where one went, it would be rare to see them without the other. This is a fact Namjoon knows better than most, having coexisted with them in close quarters for such a long time.

Namjoon had not, however, for all his proclaimed wisdom and prudence, had the foresight to see that they’d become this close.

(or: the five times the other members thought they were dating, and the one time jimin starts to wonder if they really are)

Words: 8,738

20. The Usual

Summary: Alternatively titled: The Regular

Jimin will date anyone, except for boys who serve coffee.

Words: 27,935

21. i'm so sorry but it's fake love (tbh, not really)

Summary: when chaebol/commitment anti-fan park jimin learns he's being married off, he does the smartest thing in the world: hire a fake boyfriend he found on the internet (aka Craigslist's personal ads)

all he needs is just three months with said fake boyfriend to convince his parents to leave him alone. after that, he'll get back to his regular programming.

except, not really.

Words: 209,565

22. Gravity//Oxygen

Summary: He already lost his parents.

He'll be damned if he loses Jimin's smile too.

We stay together.

Always.

Taehyung is out for revenge. And he'll do anything to get it.

Words: 180,321

23. A Screenshot of Youth

Summary: There’s a sharp intake of breath, Taehyung’s grip tightening over Jimin’s with a gentle squeeze. “Jimin,” his voice is serious, and Jimin watches him, strangely endeared. “Let’s be friends.”

And it’s like this, that they begin as friends in the heat of a sweltering summer, twelve years old and too young to think much of it, hands twined together under the blanket of a setting sun.

(In which Jimin and Taehyung grow up together.)

Words: 18,496

24. i'll take the desert, you take the coast

Summary: “Everyone I know is a candlestick nearing its demise. They’re afraid of bringing meaning into their lives, of cultivating that glow. But you, prince Park Jimin, you are different. You glow with the passion of more than a thousand suns.”

Words: 30,973

25. just to get a taste

Summary: The one where Jeongguk dares Jimin and Taehyung to kiss and it unravels a lot of feelings. But mostly more kisses.

Or the one where Jimin's heart is stupid and Jimin's best friend is actually irresistible. Who'd've thunk, huh?

Words: 24,375

26. tell them it's the end

Summary: Five months after Taehyung suddenly walked out on him, Jimin finds out that Taehyung has yet to inform his family, who absolutely loved Jimin, about their split.

Jimin tries to swallow his feelings as he once again “dates” Taehyung.

Words: 13,802

27. stay with you

Summary: Taehyung wondered why he always see this blonde man, getting wasted every night. Its such a shame seeing his pretty face wasting every single night of his life in this bar.

Until he saw his eyes, and he understood why.

(Or Jimin is broken and he wanted his happiness back.)

Words: 12,875

28. ring the changes

Summary: That's the nature of one-sided confessions. Things change.

Words: 45,248

29. summer, winter, spring (i'm falling for you)

Summary: The school starts to take notice of Jimin.

Taehyung has always noticed.

Words: 41,786

30. Make Me-al

Summary: In which Jimin starts to work at Jin's restaurant and there he meets Taehyung, the new rookie waiter that kinda gets him off his nerves (the feeling is mutual). Yet, the tension between them is hotter than the ovens from the kitchen...

Words: 26,886

31. such stuff as dreams are made on

Summary: "sir no one, may i have this dance?"

or: kim taehyung, a kitchen boy, sneaks into a royal masquerade. park jimin is the prince he never expected.

Words: 38,753

[fandom-hoarder]

listen I have so many questions about Stanford Sam, like this kid who was raised in the wild, barely aware of acceptable social conduct arrives with his 2 ectoplasm stained t-shirts at his dorm and like ????? is he very aware of it at first? or does he think he's hiding it well? and like moving in with Jessica?????? he doesn't know how to water plants and that you have to pay electricity bills ??? Like obviously he's not stupid, we know that!! But there are certain things about ordinary everyday life that are just impossible to pick up when you're raised like that. And this is just surface-level stuff, like I feel overwhelmed just thinking about how many tiny things I do in a day, just normal life stuff that I've always done, that Sam would be like ???? so weirded out by, or maybe creepily fascinated ??? Would he try and copy everyone around him maybe??? and then all the odd things that he'd probably do !!! like just basic marine survival nonsense he's dad probably taught him applied in mundane life situations that would make him stand out and he wouldn't even notice !!! And he thinks he's doing fine, people seem to accept him, but then suddenly someone mentions like... TRL or something and he's like ??? and then Dean picks him up and it all falls to pieces, because it's so EASY and ingrained and he doesn't have to pretend and it puts it into perspective how not okay he was doing at Stanford even when it felt like he was ?? god I'm just rambling, like I barely even have headcanons, I'm just so overwhelmed by all the possibilities of how this would play out !!!!

Holy crap, first I wanna apologize if this has been sitting here awhile. The Ask notification location in settings instead of notifications on the app is so weird and I get them so rarely I don’t think to check. (and the website shows that I have 4 but this one is the only one it’ll show? How does tumblr work? Oh yeah, it doesn’t lol.)

Anyway, I have so many thoughts on this! But they’re not necessarily cohesive?! Like first we all know Sam is super smart. He’s curious. He’s inquisitive. But he’s also sheltered in weird ways. There are things he’s known about the world that most people would never know about, let alone kids his age at any given time; yet the existence of those things--and the understanding that therefore potentially anything could be real--also lends itself to keeping him childlike--he had an “imaginary friend” at age nine and believed in the Easter bunny through age eleven, which is much later than the average probably???

By middle school, he definitely would’ve been feeling the strains of his otherness around his classmates, even if they weren’t constantly moving around, but of course the nomadic lifestyle just makes it even harder.

I think Sam is a very observant person, though. He figured out something was up with their dad and The Truth at age 8! So people watching is Sam’s saving grace for getting along in the mundane world. He definitely learns to mask his otherness by mimicking mundane people.

And I get sidetracked here because then I start thinking about exactly how their childhood went. We know John used Pastor Jim and Bobby as childcare/parenting support to some degree. I don’t think we really know anything about Caleb, maybe I’m forgetting something, but my headcanon is that Caleb functioned as a “fun younger uncle” type to Sam and Dean: cool, responsible in a pinch, but mostly not given childcare responsibilities because of his wilding tendencies. (they learn swears accidentally from Bobby and John, but Caleb TEACHES them.) Sam and Dean didn’t even know about Missouri until s1, so she’s off the caretaker list. They had that babysitter they met up with in uhh... Swap Meat! But largely we assume that Dean had a lot of the caretaking responsibilities; maybe with temporary babysitters in other places the same as Swap Meat.

And lbh you just can’t expect well-rounded, informed child-rearing from a kid only four years older. There’s a reason I associate a lot of weechester flashbacks with Sammy watching TV like in Something Wicked, because literally little siblings are A LOT and sometimes you just want them to sit still and quiet and leave you alone for a bit omg.(wait, give me a minute, I’m imagining little 6 year old Dean on the phone with Bobby because John ran out for food supplies and isn’t back yet and Sammy is still asleep but Dean’s creeped out in the longterm room they’re staying in because he KNOWS about the supernatural already. but then bobby gets on John’s case about it--and instead of never leaving Dean alone with baby Sam again, Dean learns from John’s belt not to call anyone when he’s left alone unless it’s an ACTUAL EMERGENCY. Or maybe, because marine, John doesn’t use his belt; maybe he uses PT instead and every time Dean thinks about calling Bobby for that reason again, his abs ache from the memory of punishment situps, or his arms get suddenly shaky thinking about doing pushups til he just couldn’t anymore.)

I haven’t read all of John’s Journal, and I know it’s not actually canon, but IIRC the bits that I’ve read from the wiki show John and the boys staying with a family friend in Lawrence for a few weeks, MAYBE a few months before John visits Missouri and everything STARTS. I think if he hadn’t picked up and left with them then, the family friends would’ve been contacting CPS because they’re starting to think John’s grief is making him unhinged. (I really want to read the journal tbh--there are bits I’ve seen that make me fantasize even more about boyking!sam storylines... but I’m getting even more off track.)

So we’ve got this weird/interesting dichotomy of kids that are groomed with these hyperspecialiizations, too weird to really fit in with other kids but sheltered from the actual hunter life also--like the fact that there ARE other hunters, like as a THING, not just their dad’s rando friends that, as kids, they may just assume know about the supernatural because their dad told them! (jfc they’re SO PRIMED to be each other’s entire world omg I’m gonna die)

So like, by being quiet and observant (an imaginative kid, by nature and by nurture as John starts to take Dean out more and leave Sam alone with his own thoughts), Sam would pick up a lot of things. But they’re never anywhere long enough for him to fully grasp everything and he would definitely suffer a bit from the Dunning-Kruger effect--not having enough knowledge about a thing, but having just enough that you don’t realize you don’t.

Let’s say Sam observes and picks up some things about normal residential life by being around a few mundane babysitters. The nature of John’s “work” would mean that, even if they were in a more in-home-daycare-like situation, they’d be likely to be the “after hours” kinds of kids that are still there when everyone else is picked up and the babysitter would normally be doing their normal life stuff: changing clothes, cleaning up from the daycare kids, making dinner, etc (sam and dean would definitely help, either out of kindness or duty or because it’s agreed that if they help out John will get a discount on their care costs--don’t mind me, just projecting my childhood onto the winchesters hahh. I’m NOT going to go off on a tangent about Dean already having so much experience caring for babies cuz of Sam. He definitely doesn’t have all the under-4s following him around begging for attention while he burps one of the three babies their babysitter cares for after a bottle. it DEFINITELY didn’t make Sam (age 4, 5, 6 maybe) jealous enough to repress the memory so that over a decade later he would claim that Dean doesn’t even LIKE kids.)

Uhh... what was I talking about? Oh yeah, Sam. Observing normal life. Anyway so maybe after things settle for the day, sometimes a babysitter will sit at the dining table with the weekly bills and their checkbook and do the bills. And Sam kind of loves things like this: it feels like something important; it feels like playing school before he was old enough to go (quick aside here: John totally enrolled Sam in school early, both because that’s the only way his age works with canon timeline and because it would make life easier if Sam was in school just like Dean--more cost-and-time efficient.) And maybe Sam goes and sits at the table and just. Watches.

And then he asks questions. When he’s curious, he doesn’t keep his questions to himself as a child (unless the subject is expressly forbidden: see Dean’s reaction when Sam brings up Mary). But his age would inevitably limit the scope and understanding of those questions. Adults are generally disinclined to fully explain the adult world to children, especially when it comes to finances, and in the 80s and early 90s?? With most of the adults of that time that I knew, those kinds of questions were considered rude and nosey. He might understand that adults have to pay bills; he may even understand something about utilities; but he wouldn’t necessarily understand all the requirements and frequency.

Though their nomadic lifestyle wasn’t stable by any “normal” definition, one thing to be said about mostly living out of motels is that your power is never cut off, or your water, or your heat. There’s always television, usually with cable. And the only form of payment you see going on is dad handing over cash or plastic at the front desk--one and done. My headcanon usually disallows the idea that they would’ve squatted in empty houses when Sam and Dean were kids (John makes plenty of bad decisions but I just don’t see him staying in a place without power or water with CHILDREN. Teenagers? SURE.) They would learn how to clean house and make proper beds even when it wasn’t always necessary with housekeeping available--both because of John’s military parenting style and because John would be most likely to opt out of daily housekeeping to lower the risk of having people ask questions.

So yeah, there are so many little intricacies of the mundane world that Sam wouldn’t be conditioned to even think about. Even the realization that he doesn’t know enough about regular life, as he grows up and longs more and more for that very thing because he’s never had more than a glimpse of it, wouldn’t necessarily be enough.

Would his natural curiosity lead him to ask those questions? He can’t ask John because he already asked Dean and got a dismissive answer because ‘what does any of that matter, Sam? we’ll never have to worry about that shit.’ and if Dean seems borderline offended by the sheer audacity of the questions in the first place, he knows John will be worse.

In the 90s, life skills were still kind of a thing in most U.S. schools. But in a really inconsistent way. Sometimes it was in health class curriculum; sometimes your math class would actually do a short focus on balancing a checkbook and banking if there was a chapter, but a lot of times those parts get skipped. You never use the whole textbook. Sometimes life skills was only in Home Ec, but H.E. was completely elective in my area when I was in middle school (the same exact years Sam would’ve been in middle school) and I’m assuming the same for most of the U.S. Sam may have taken it, or he may have taken something else instead (wood shop or computer class were the alternatives in my area). Maybe the nature of school hopping meant that he HAD to enroll in Home Ec, because resources for the other electives were finite, but somehow always managed to miss the bills and budgeting portion. Maybe he couldn’t even take Home Ec due to class size or resources and they just put him in a study hall for that period. (Maybe they put him in the computer class, where he mostly does book work until he gets a turn on the PC he has to share with his classmate.)

As an observant person, Sam totally would’ve known about TRL, I think. There’s no way at least one group of kids in the halls or lunchroom wasn’t talking about it every day in high school, especially with the advent of Britney Spears and Eminem and Jesse freakin Camp. Maybe he goes to someone’s house to try to hang out or to study and they turn it on and Sam watches raptly because it’s such a strange phenomenon and he hardly ever gets to hear new music, much less watch the videos. But he can’t actually get into it because the fangirls are annoying and his analytical mind won’t let him suspend his disbelief about how the voting works. (Maybe he tries giving it another shot in their motel room sometimes, but Dean vetoes that bubblegum pop shit IMMEDIATELY--no Sam, look, that shit isn’t REAL music; most of them don’t even play instruments. And it’s really not fair because Dean TOTALLY watched MTV’s The Grind in the early 90s for his fix of suggestively gyrating bodies before he figured out how to access porn without getting caught.)

Sam and Dean actually make a LOT of pop culture references, which always fascinates me. I imagine they did a lot of TV watching and VCR/movie renting in the times they weren’t working on a case with/for their dad (projecting again; my dad’s house was a very boring place on his weekends). The nature of Dean’s idolization of John and disinclination to let Sam have his own separate likes means they have a mix of age-appropriate pop culture knowledge and a lot of Boomer-era TV and movie knowledge--Dean more than Sam, maybe when it comes to things like cowboy movies and TV lol.

Anyway, as the realization that he doesn’t really know how anything works crept in, maybe Sam would try to lowkey create situations where he could ask his friends/his friends’ parents those normal life kind of questions. But maybe after his first few tries, he’s become so uncomfortably aware of how weird he is to even need to ask that he stops asking. Maybe he starts to tap into his specialized skills and starts snooping/creeping around their houses to try to glean knowledge. Maybe he scours the library for books on ‘what you need to know for life’--I have the urge now to do a google search on actual titles of books on this subject that may have existed at the time, but I’ve already spent a lot of time on this without going into research spirals. lol Maybe he can’t find exactly the things that are pertinent--still doesn’t fully realize that, though--and in the meantime his cache of esoteric knowledge continues to build.

So he gets to Stanford and he mostly understands how the financing works; enough to get by with enrollment and stuff. He understands that he’ll need to get a job of some sort to make ends meet because he’s there to be normal and normal people don’t pay for everything with scammed credit cards and billiards money; he knows that much. But he doesn’t really know about wages, minimum wage, freaking payroll taxes, etc. (I feel like Dean would’ve had odd jobs as a teen, some legit some under the table, but that the nature of John (and Dean) wanting to keep Sam home and safe would’ve made the subject of Sam working through high school a banned topic. And anyway, much as I’m not a fan of the characterization in Drag Me Away (From You), what Dean said to Sam about the impossibility of getting into college with the way his academic career would look is accurate. So Sam would’ve probably spent most of his free time on academics so he could get the fuck out, rather than trying to get a job.

Maybe having to buy his textbooks would be a surprise? John probably always qualified for Sam and Dean to be on free lunch/free book programs in public school, not to mention the likelihood of the records being at least partially counterfeit. But at the same time, John was probably very hands off with their school enrollment crap once the boys were old enough to handle it themselves, so Sam would at least have an inkling.

Sam would be a weird mix of no-boundaries and too-secretive, and his first attempts at acting normal would be a bit too put-on. He’s got experience acting per 1x16 (oh, maybe he did drama instead of home ec somewhere lol), but acting on stage is so much different to acting in a more personal setting. On stage you have to exaggerate your movements to project all the way to the back. Early-Stanford Sam, I guess, is a bit like Soulless Sam. He knows there’s something off about him compared to the people around him, and he just does his best to pretend he’s the same as them without calling attention to his differences, which ends up coming off robotic. A little Stepford. A little uncanny valley. He learns to bite his tongue every time he’s about to let something normal only to his family roll off it; learns to be even more vague than he used to be, because now he’s around strangers ALL THE TIME.

At some point, Sam has a little-but-big breakdown about a payment he missed or the fact that he had to steal shampoo because he didn’t even have toiletries in his budget and couldn’t even afford a bottle of White Rain or Suave, so since he was stealing anyway he got the special brand he really likes and then feels too awful to even use it and doesn’t wash his hair for a week. Brady takes pity on the cute but hapless puppy-boy who is a physical and academic behemoth but has obviously been living off-grid on some kind of militia commune for the past forever--at first the rumor was that he was Amish on rumspringa but the amount of times Sam has busted out some supremely random survival knowledge in casual conversation changes that rumor quickly--and has no understanding of the world. And by the time he moves off-campus with Jess, Sam has this masking thing down pretty well; he can almost forget he’s not normal sometimes and Jess only knows about his previous helplessness in a cute, anecdotal kind of way.

And then Dean comes and gets him and Sam’s all “you and Dad still doing credit card scams?” and Dean’s like “well hunting doesn’t pay the bills.”

AND SAM’S LIKE, NEITHER DO YOU DEAN! DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT BILLS ARE?! BECAUSE I DIDN’T AND IT WOULD’VE BEEN NICE TO KNOW!

[atopearth]

Kissed by the Baddest Bidder Part 1 - Eisuke Ichinomiya Route (up to Proposal Epilogue)

This is my next guilty pleasure game lolol. Honestly, the premise of the heroine getting sold in an auction and being bought/saved by one of the dodgy rich guys makes it a dubious premise, but I love this kinda "trash"🤣 Eisuke seems like one of the most popular Voltage guys so I do want to see him in sequels haha, and yes, I already played the main story since it was free on the app, but I've kinda forgotten it, so I'll refresh my memory by playing it on the Switch again haha. I also bought My Forged Wedding and Our Two Bedroom Story so yay, more to come~ hahaha. I hope to also buy Scandal in the Spotlight and Kings of Paradise (when it comes out and goes on sale XD) when I'm done with others so yep, lots of Voltage stuff coming I guess hahaha.

I always feel sorry for the heroine that Eisuke makes her run to him within 5 minutes when he calls her, like dudeee, that's ridiculous. Anyway, it's nice that he's teaching her stuff so she's not just his toy to use. I remember finding it hilarious how Eisuke planned to use Soryu as the next "sacrifice" from the beginning and have Carolina fall in love with him instead🤣 She's very tame and silly for an Italian mafia boss' daughter but I guess we should feel blessed about that lol. Even though a lot of the things Eisuke does is questionable, it's nice to know that his reason for being involved in all this underground stuff is because he's searching for his little sister that he got separated from when their parents passed away and they were adopted by different families. It's interesting to think that Eisuke wasn't born a rich boy and actually worked very hard to get where he is now in repayment to the Ichinomiya family but also because I'm sure all this power helps him get more connections to hopefully find his sister one day. I think it's really cute how much he's opening up to the heroine now, but I kinda feel sorry for her in a sense that when Takahiro (her boss) and her finally have a nice thing going on, she's falling for Eisuke.

To be honest, their "love" is rather questionable considering how it's mostly just the heroine listening to everything he says, caring about him, whilst he uses her for what he needs to do and then kinda warms up to the idea of her staying with him and enjoys it. I mean, he barely let her go out and always called her back for trivial things lol. So yeah, even though he's "nice", I find it difficult to accept him, but I guess hopefully the sequels might change that since there's so many haha. I appreciate him trying to protect her though, it's nice to see those rare moments he shows how much he cares about her. I have to say though, that dramatic ending where the heroine picks between Takahiro and Eisuke is so... weird lol, kinda cringy loll. Anyway, let's see His PoV! Honestly, His PoV was nice but doesn't really add that much to what we already knew tbh, like I guess you can see his thought process for the important events, but yeah doesn't really feel like I read anything haha. The epilogue was nice mainly because he FINALLY got rid of all his groupies, like geez, took him a while considering his intolerance for such women who follow him around all the time lol, but the highlight was definitely the heroine getting him to honestly tell her that he loves her. I think it really helps how she always voices to Eisuke what is important to her, and he in turn understands that it's important to her so he listens and reciprocates, it's pretty sweet.

I'm glad Eisuke found his sister in the Season 1 Sequel. Yukari is so cute. I thought it was really nice how the heroine understood how much Eisuke cherished the possibility of meeting his sister again, so if he's rejecting meeting her then there must be a good reason for it. It's pretty dramatic how Eisuke ended up having to save Yukari's husband's father and their wedding in order to have the father have a better opinion of him lol. I'm just happy that Eisuke doesn't have to force himself and lie about his feelings towards finding his sister again and stuff tbh, but it was kinda sad how Eisuke really didn't look for the heroine for days when she "left" him due to not being able to understand his attitude towards Yukari before everything was resolved. I have to agree with the heroine though, Eisuke is just really stubborn about not showing his feelings, but I guess he's getting better at it with the heroine so it's all good lol. I kinda find it cute how Baba was the one to tell the heroine how much Eisuke cares for her, I guess all the guys will get a chance to cheer her up and tell her different sides of him?🥲 It was cute how they visited Yukari's new home and thought about marriage~ Lmao at Eisuke just building a hotel in Dubai because her dart fell on it.

Ooh so, S2 revolves around Dubai~ Gotta feel sorry for the heroine that she nearly got killed for trespassing when it wasn't even her fault. But now she's forced to work at the Dubai hotel as a sort of "punishment" and to let her go from her crime lol. Gotta love how Eisuke just bought an island to live on here lol. Aww, it took a long time, but it's actually really cute how soft Eisuke is with the heroine. I also really like how he's pretty open with their relationship to the others. Do a lot of Japanese people really hate green peas?? I find it so funny that a lot of characters hate green peas, but I guess it's more seen as a "childish" thing haha. So yeah, seeing Eisuke try to say he hates green peas in a prideful way was adorable to say the least. Anyway, Hishikura is quiteeee dodgy and weird lol, why does he want to be an auction manager though, does that help him become the future prime minister?🤔 And I found it so silly the way the heroine "won" Hishikura and left him, like shouldn't the first thing Eisuke and them thought of was the fact that this was an illegitimate auction bid when the product (heroine) was obviously not the dancing girl that was supposed to be sold?? Why did we have to waste so much time on something so simply solved just like that?? Honestly though, I'm sure Hishikura could have made some other excuse though, but still, could they have not resolved it better and had a better reason to allow Hishikura be a part of the gang? Lol.

Sometimes I think I underestimate how much Eisuke likes the heroine, because wow, to protect her, he's willing to let people think he's "running away" from Dubai and all the troubles there, and I guess last time with Hishikura, he made it pretty obvious how important she was to him. Like, Kishi and Soryu being bodyguards for the heroine are understandable (but honestly a waste of their time lol) but I'm not sure if Hishikura, Ota and Baba are very good lol. Anyway, trust Eisuke to propose in such an unromantic way loll. Full just gave her the papers and told her to sign it loll. Anyway, I'm surprised they never had a hotel branch in London, but it doesn't matter since Eisuke can build wherever he likes lol. Wow, like I know Eisuke is selfish and the heroine is very accommodating, but I'm surprised she wasn't mad or even annoyed at all that Eisuke just took back the "proposal" and said nah, not getting married anymore since it's unnecessary. Like excuse me??? And the way the heroine knows he loves her is always just through sex lol, like c'mon heroine, sure he shows his love in many ways, but his attitude still annoys me a lot lol, it really is as if marriage is nothing to him and the heroine hasn't even told him that it's special to her because she'll become his wife. Honestly, he probably said it so she wouldn't feel pressured about it anymore (since she was undecided) but still.

Well, I was going to say Frank and his butler are kinda cute but dang lol, getting revenge for something that happened in middle school that was your own fault is pretty petty of Frank. I'll admit that Eisuke being up for auction and the heroine being auctioneer was pretty fun and interesting haha. Especially when she just started revealing everything about him to the crowd lol, but I guess that way she was able to show how deep her feelings were for him and how much she wanted them to be family instead of him just distancing himself from others and her. I'm so happy Eisuke finally proposed properly and said she'll be his family~~ Anyway, I'm disappointed that they didn't allude anything about Eisuke and London (aside from this Frank guy) when I think it would have been fun to see more about Eisuke's life back in the day instead of a random villain. For once, it was nice to see Eisuke's PoV to the marriage thing. So he suggested marriage to the heroine because he wanted to give her financial security just in case anything happened to him, and he wanted to do it in a way where she wouldn't be scrutinised by the public eye, and that's why he wanted her to be his wife so that everything would "look proper" to others. I guess I can see why he was so shocked and sad when she didn't immediately accept him haha. It was nice seeing Eisuke realise his mistake in saying he wanted to the marry the heroine but in the same breath say he didn't need a family, and understand that this was why the heroine was so hesitant. It was really nice to see Eisuke grow and straightforwardly ask Akira (his dad) why did he adopt him and whether he only cares about him because he has a talent for business. Seeing Eisuke face things he usually avoids because of the heroine's support and love makes me happy for him.

Okay, the DLCs (Scattered Cards onwards) on the Switch are too expensive so I'm not going to buy them right now hahaha😅 Overall, I'm not a fan of Eisuke tbh. He definitely got much better over the course of the seasons, but from the heroine's perspective alone, he is a bit frustrating lol, but at the same time, I'd say the same for the heroine for how silly she is lol so I guess they fit well. I think what I'm most disappointed in though is that the premise itself is really just the premise and nothing really "evolves" from it, because the following stories are really just the guys expanding the hotel and dealing with people trying to wreck that rather than stuff about auctions and bidding? I did enjoy Eisuke reuniting with his sister and learning more about how he views family, and then having the heroine make him realise that he does crave family warmth and other things, he just tries to hide it with his bad attitude lol. But yeah, otherwise Eisuke is not bad, just not my type lol, and the stories are rather cliche and bad at some points so yeah, I'd say the plot suffers more than his attitude does for me.

[aresrl]

I hihi I am!!! A little nervous w/ doing this bc I've never done this b4 so please bear🐻 w// me💦 May I request a match up? A vision, a romantic partner and maybe a friend and/or enemy? If that's too much feel free to just assign me a vision + partner, ehe/// Preferably male for a romantic match-up, but either gender is fine with a friend and enemy match-up^^ I tried to be as detailed as possible but I think I ended up just ranting, so im v v sorry if it's long! I sort of fluctuate when it comes to being an introvert/extroverted. W// strangers and irl, I'm very introverted and shy!! Rarely speak and if I do it's just the usual "Hi how are you? That's good. I'm good too, thank you for asking:)" yeayea I'm not too. Keen on social interaction irl. But I always do my best to be very nice!! I never wanna come off as mean bc wow what a bad first impression that would be. But with friends / ppl ik online?? Whew I am very very friendly n chatty ^^ Either very high energy or very chill, there's rarely any inbetween. Sometimes I like to jokingly tease my friends but I'd never go too far / make them uncomfortable!! And if I do I always apologize right away!! I like to say that I'm affectionate?? My strongest love language is def physical affection, if not quality time. Idk man there's just something about vibing with someone or hugging them that just aaaaa/// Although I usually display affection w// words of affection bc. Literally most of my friends are online friends so I can't actually hug them, sad times. Idk if this is needed/important info but I just remembered: I'm 5'6 around??? Need glasses bc. Whew i am blind (near sighted), I'm poc (specifically black) anndd, hm. Actually I think thats it for this section, aha. As you can see I'm, not really all that organized. Also I don't have the best attention span - while writing this I'm circling between 4 different apps - and I'm a bit of a mess. And also a little stupid. Just a smidge dumb. But I have my moments - I solved like. 2 puzzles in Inazuma by myself so I think that counts for something. I also find that I tend to talk a whole lot when I have an idea or smthn to say abt a thing I'm super interested in!! That's info-dumping. I info dump. Yes. I also really like to listen to other people talk abt things they like!!!! Its so nice :) I'm protective over people I care about!! I've never done it but 100% would bark at someone who messed with someone close to be. Arf arf yaknow. I tend to he impulsive. I'll do something, and be all "YEAH>:D" and then regret it later. And then I'll do it all over again in a fun little cycle :) I consider myself an optimist, but quickly turn into a pessimist whenever it concerns myself. Fun funfun. Should probably mention that I am. A very insecure person w/ dangerously low self esteem, which is super fun esp when you mix that with the fact that I'm rarely ever motivated to improve. Yayayay Also sort of a pushover?? Like most often than not I'll be convinced to do something, even if I'm not too keen on doing it. Also afraid of confrontation when it comes to my friends and strangers (that is, if it's concerning me!! I'll order smthn for my friend but if I need to order for myself?? uhh stutter time aha). I'm also a mega simp ahah! Srsly though if I fall for someone/get infatuated with someone I. Will be so obvious abt it even though I try very hard not to be. Would gush over that person probably. I don't really like mean people tbh. Like yes I'll be nice and civil with them but!!! I cannot stand!!! Rude people!!! Esp when they're mean for no reason like sir??? maam??? homie??? chill pls ty<3 People who aren't necessarily mean, but moreso have bastard energy and are just really "hehe>:D" but playfully are p poggers tho!!! I think I get along with kids!! I have a little sister,, around like. Nine? And we get along really well!! I also try and match a kid's energy whenever I'm tasked with looking after them. I take pride in the fact that kids like me >:].... even if they sometimes scare me-- Ok, interest time!!

I like art!! Quite a bit!! Less of a realistic artist and more of a cartoonist!! Idk there's just something fun abt drawing cartoons, hehe. I also like self ships - I have quite a bit of them, actually ! Idk its comforting drawings your fictional crushes loving you idkidk. I like writing too! Both original stories, and one-shots or personal fics that are associated with already created media!! Writing character backstories and personalities and stuff is also fun too! I've even made my own fictional world with a full fledged backstory n everything! It's very fun to think about. I'm a day dreamer!!! Yea remember when I said I write stories? I day dream abt potential stories even more. Mmm daydream world so nice so warm so fun I read aswell!! Mostly fantasy books, or stories where animals are the protagonists. Think Warrior Cats. But my favorite book series has got to be Guardians of Ga'Hoole. Fantasy owl books, anyway! X Readers are also things I enjoy reading :) Again, s I m p Also gaming!!! Is something fun I do sometimes!!! Although it's usually Genshin Impact, or Wii Sports/Resort w// my little sister. Oh, also pokemon! I rlly like Primarina, Vaporeon, Sylveon and Vulpix/Ninetails! I absolutely adore sweet foods, and baking is smthn I'm def interested in! Don't like foods w// weird textures though, like beans or mashed potatoes. Also I. Love spice so much. Mmm love it when my mouth burns so bad. Don't have a favorite animal but I've had three cats in my lifetime (btw not important but my current cat is named Sylvester and. He's my baby boy) so I am. A very big cat fan. Probably not needed but I really like sword and claymore characters. Literally all of the characters I main are either sword or claymore users. Although I did get Diona, so I miiight start forcing myself to learn how to aimmm. I see that I tend to like people/characters that are a little more extroverted than me. Upbeat, happy type beat!!! Nice sunshine babies, :) I think thats it! I hope this was good enough? Again, first time doing this (at 2am nonetheless) so forgive me if I got too rambly or did anything wrong ^^ Thank you for taking the time out of your day to read this! And I hope your day is good / you had a good day, depending on when you read this, ehe!

Hey! Sorry if the wait has been long! I also love Warrior Cats (I promise myself, one day I'll finish it.)

You received... A Pyro vision! Optimistic, enthusiastic, impulsive, reckless, and a lot of energy are the general characteristics held by the Pyro vision. • I hesitated between the Pyro and Hydro vision, but your energy distinguishes you from the Hydro vision. • You said you were impulsive, always doing something you might regret later but still doing it. • You react quickly: as you said, if somebody hurt someone you love, you won't think twice before barking. Your partner would be... Xingqiu! “This feeling was unexpected.” • At first, you were just friends, and Xingqiu really loved to tease you. Actually, you both teased each other. But eventually, a feeling of love towards you grew into Xingqiu. And that was reciprocated. • Your relationship is filled with teases, jokes, and good/funny moments where you mostly share what you commonly appreciate. • He also knows when to get serious: for example, he does everything to support you during your moments of struggle concerning your self-esteem. Your friend would be... Childe! “Luckily, I'm here!” • You two also share funny moments, especially during situations where your “stupidity” is overtaken by his insight. • Sometimes, he finds you cute. • He likes the fact that you get along well with kids. It leads you to great moments with him and his siblings. • You're quite the opposite in terms of self-esteem. I think it's a good thing because it makes you complementary. Your enemy would be... Albedo! A misunderstanding. • You wouldn't hate each other, but I think Albedo wouldn't like the way you use your energy, and when you're more in a chill mood (meaning you're more available for him to talk), he could get pissed at how much times he'd have to repeat himself for you to understand something. • He's very patient, but he understood quickly that his interests would maybe not be within your reach. • You would just be too different. Worth to mention • You and Venti are like drama queens in Mondstadt. You are good friends. But you both know that you can't be more, as it would eventually both drag you down (because of similar problems). • Klee is also your best friend: both of you share decisions that you definitely will regret later. Or maybe not. • Hu tao and you are kinds of silently competing over who's the best tease, and she beats you. My goal is definitely not achieved. I hope I can catch up tomorrow. And don't worry, it was surprisingly good for a first description!

[luminous-studiess]

Seeing as you mentioned in one of your last posts that you’ve learnt how to study in the pas semester, I was wondering if you could share with us your tips & tricks, please? I love your blog ❤️

hi!!!!! first of all, thank you so much for the kind words. it always helps when i hear that people like my content, and it’s nice to know when people on studyblr reach out and motivate each other. i hope you’re doing well as well!i guess i have to preface this with the fact that studying in undergrad is very different from studying in law school. also, studying in different undergraduate courses constitutes very different studying styles as well. for me, i took literature, so it was a lot of writing papers and not much memory work. in law school, there was a LOT of memory work. i did really badly for several months because i wasn’t used to studying for those kinds of exams. i may make posts if anyone’s interested on how to study specifically for literature or law classes, but for now, these are general tips on how to study.this is a long-ass post, so my apologies!

HOW TO STUDY!!!!!!! A HUGE GENERAL GUIDE FROM SAM FROM LUMINOUS STUDIES, AFTER ~7 YEARS OF HOMESCHOOLING, 4 YEARS OF UNDERGRAD (AND A MAGNA CUM LAUDE) AND ONE TERRIFYING SEMESTER OF LAW SCHOOL. 

FIRST THINGS FIRST: general tips, some life advice, preparation

- actual intelligence matters very little in school. some people learn faster, some take a little more time. being smart in itself does not matter when you don’t work. actual hard work can compensate for a less retentive memory (as i’ve found out over the semester). discipline and a lot of hard work always pay off, even if it seems rocky at first. make the resolve to dedicate a set amount of time to study everyday, even if it’s just an hour or so. a little is better than nothing. - my constitutional law professor (aka my favorite professor) advised one of my classmates to log her work hours. while it seems tempting to set a specific timeslot to get things done, sometimes life gets in the way, and you don’t actually get to work at 3 pm. maybe most of the time you sit at 3 pm is spent fiddling on your phone. to actually track productivity and consistency, time the hours you actively spend studying. put away all your distractions. personally, i like the forest app because it forces me to stay away from social media and lets me use the pomodoro method. on good study days, i get to log my work time in batches of 25 minutes. again, it can be the amount of hours you put in, but what matters is the quality of work you put in. stay consistent. i promise you. it helps- on the study environment: sometimes studyblr convinces you that you need a coffeeshop, an aesthetic library, a beautiful italian garden to get things done. that would be ideal, but most of us don’t have access to that. i suggest you evaluate if you work better in public spaces with a little sound ambience, to hold yourself accountable (coffeeshops, the school library, with friends), or in private, quiet spaces. once you know where you work best, know what keeps you focused. is it tea? a glass of iced coffee? a lofi playlist? a podcast? i find that process a little fun because it keeps the study process a little less dull and uncomfortable, as it often can be. don’t forget to keep it pleasant/rewarding, but note that overindulgence can distract you. trust me, i know this from experience.- study materials: are what you want and what you need. you don’t need anything fancy. personally, i need many colored pens and highlighters because i have a color-coding system for cases and provisions, but for undergrad, my best weapons were just a black ballpen and a nice mildliner. it’s preferential, and just see what works for you. - on study anxiety: i have mental health issues. i’ve been seeing a psychiatrist (and lately a therapist) for depression and anxiety, and it used to be really, really bad, to the point i couldn’t start. i think the best place to start is to find that kind of help if you really have bad mental health. but if it’s the kind of anxiety that stems from being worried that things won’t turn out well, or that there’s too much to do, it’s always best to start, and to remember that even a little, or something imperfect, is still progress. try it for 5 minutes. if you still can’t do it, rest. but sometimes we just need a little push. other things that really calm my anxiety are a good baroque playlist (check out baroque lute/jordi savali’s the celtic viol/bach’s goldberg variations on spotify!!!), jazz, or lofi, and lavender room spray. i also like to use gifs which help you with breathing techniques. you can find them all over tumblr and twitter. it’s also really helpful to ask others for help when you feel stuck. i’ve asked professors for a little consideration and classmates for advice and clarifications when i’m confused. reaching out to other people is often a great way to start the learning process. 

- scheduling: i find it hard to keep on top of things, so i’m really thankful to the classmate who added me to a google calendar with all the class assignments. i think it’s a great system for knowing what the assignments are, so google calendar is your friend. for daily tasks, bullet journals help keep me accountable. i have a really simple one. quick and dirty. ACTUALLY STUDYING: methods, tricks, tips- consider the subject. different classes require different methods. some classes like math and chemistry – which, disclaimer, i have very little experience with – require practice problems. for literature classes, this requires much free analysis, annotations, research, and your own interpretations. other classes like history and geology require the memorization of topics. consider what information you need to learn, and how you want to approach it.- TAKE NOTES DURING THE LECTURE. i can’t stress this enough. if the teacher or professor mentions it, it’s probably important. nowadays, for major classes, i mark the topic on the syllabus with a special-colored highlighter that i won’t use for anything else so i know it’s crucial and will probably turn up on an exam. note: if they place special emphasis on a bit of information because it probably WILL turn up during the exam. one of my professors mentioned that a case would probably turn up during the philippine bar exam and guess what. it did. listen to the professor, don’t goof around on twitter (me to my undergraduate self, tbh), take good notes. make the notes into a reviewer during exam season. pass the class.- pre-studying helps. this is mandatory in law school, because mostly, you go to class to regurgitate what you’ve studied (or didn’t study) on your own from the syllabus. for undergrad, however, it helps to give yourself a background on the material so you can engage in the class, and take notes more efficiently. also, as much as possible, do the required reading. you’ll probably do it in one night anyway before the exam, so at least spread your work out and do a reasonable amount weekly.- on that note: if you’re going to rush through the syllabus and do “a semester’s worth of info” in one night (yes we’ve all seen Those Memes) anyway, it will be less of a pain in the ass to actually do the work slowly and consistently every week. trust me. this comes from a procrastinator who’s getting bitten in the ass, so please learn this as early as you can. it saves you a lot of pain later on.- THE CLASS SYLLABUS IS YOUR BIBLE. it’s all there. before classes, go through it. keep it with you during class and annotate it if you have to. some of my friends like to space the syllabus out on a document file so they use the headings for note-making. the syllabus will be your friend during review season.- always learn actively. if you don’t know a word or term, it will always help to google. make notes in the margins. make flashcards so you state information and retrieve it instead of just recognizing it. form study groups. rewrite your notes. engage with what you’re learning and it becomes so much more interesting, and so much easier. - set a time to unwind religiously. breaks are so important to avoid burnout. i like friday nights for unwinding, family dinners, reading, watching series. please rest. REVIEW SEASON: HOW TO COPE. HOW TO PASS. HOW TO CRY AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. - exams are scary. i used to enjoy them, until law school, where i’ve been beaten up thoroughly by every exam. but strangely enough, this is where i only learned how to actually study for an exam with huge blocks of information. i realized that this method really helps for undergrad, and probably will get you honors if you stick to a similarly solid method. - study as early as you can. once you know when the exam is, make a study plan. two weeks is a good minimum. sometimes, there are professors and teachers who announce only a week before, which is unavoidable, so honestly. just make a plan. i tend to assign a set number of syllabus pages to cover/study for on each day so i have time to do a second reading/quizzing. - HOW TO REVIEW: remember the class notes? remember the syllabus? those will help you cover everything you need once you schedule. the syllabus is your map for what you need to cover. assume that everything in the syllabus is something you need to go over at least once, so assign a set number of pages/topics per day. the class notes are your guide on what to focus on. note the special topics which have been emphasized by the lecturer. it also helps if you know what parts you’re very unsure about, so you know what to work on again when you have extra time. i tend to make reviewers out of my class notes, which also helps to retain info, because i go over it again. make time to re-read and quiz yourself. - blanking out on exam day? i can honestly assure you that it’s probably because you didn’t sleep enough. you’ve studied the information, but sleep deprivation either makes you fall asleep during the exam (which has happened) or forget what you learned (which has also happened). if you’ve made the time to repeat what you’ve needed to learn, the studying isn’t the problem. i make a rule to try and avoid all-nighters when necessary because sleep is integral in helping you retain information. when i need extra time to study, i go to bed early, and wake up around 3 or 4 am to study some more. it really helps.DEALING WITH FAILURE: - my professor (a huge businessman, constitutionalist, overall a very successful person) told me that he would not get where he is now if he hadn’t failed. failure is growth because you know you’re doing something. the only true “failure” is when you stop trying. some days are hard, some days don’t yield the results even when you work hard. it’s okay. be gentle on yourself. you are still growing.- sometimes i think about the fact that “gifted child syndrome” aka burnout and perfectionism stem from how many smart kids are often praised for their intelligence and not their work ethic. so when they do badly later in life, they think it’s because they weren’t “smart enough” and give up easily. i think much of doing anything entails a lot of embarrassment, a lot of hard work, and lots of failure. it’s so hard to put up with, and it can often be depressing and unhealthy and put you in a bad place. sometimes we need to talk to someone professional, if it gets to that point. but sometimes, it also helps to realize that a little hard work will help us to get where we want to be. - ask for help. i talk to my friends, my parents, and my professors when i’m stuck. it really helps.ok, whew. i know there’s so much more about studying. but i hope this helps for now. please let me know if you guys want more specific study guides. good luck, loves! you got this.– sam 

[dreamyaqua]

double aquarius anon here again; i redownloaded the app & i got the update! first of all i enjoyed reading everything you wrote SO much (including the jacob part 🥺) so i just wanted to say thank u bc I WAS FREAKING OUT SKDJ!! i was so shocked that you shipped me with him tbh,, secondly i read astrology stuff mostly bc i relate to my sun sign a lot and i think it’s really interesting to read abt it but im not super invested but im genuinely amazed after what you wrote about my placements. its super understandable that you were confused as to if im more shy or confident bc im def both. i really enjoy meeting new people and I think im a great conversationalist and i know exactly what to say to make my friends laugh! but then on the other hand i reallyy like working things out on my own and almost never ask for help, sometimes im not in the mood to talk and be super enthusiastic so im quiet,, love going out with friends but i honestly really value my personal time as well like sometimes i just want to sit in my pjs and watch yt 🤷🏻‍♀️ i also agree w what you said about me being sympathetic, empathetic and caring, if i say so myself im good at putting myself in other people’s shoes, you used the right words sensitive and receptive as well because i can really tell peoples emotions influence me a lot— if someone is crying ill get sad too and might tear up ): & about being creative; i dance, journal & take photos! i also really like making those drinks and pastries that you see in homecafe vids! about wanting to help others,, i want to become a nutritionist in the future and help people who experience food guilt fall in love with nutrition and fitness :)) (when you said i could have a both artistic and scientific tune of mind i immediately though abt the artsy things i do but also me being interested in science). im also reallyy independent (goes w the fact that i don’t like receiving help from others) and i like doing a lot of things on my own (my pride is also big lmao). you saying i enjoy speaking my mind is so funny because everyone knows i can go oFF with my arguments if someone disagrees w me and all my teachers tell me im great at supporting my opinions! it honestly made me smile how you said im probably optimistic and hardworking bc i really do try to be that way & the last two things you said about me (generous and has an eye for aesthetic flairs) ive heard before many many times from ppl so even though i can’t judge for myself i suppose they might be true :’) a LOT of people also tell me i give off this very calm aura and that the way i carry myself makes me look and sound very mature and that i know what i want so everyone thinks im older than i am. anyways thank you so much again & SORRY for making u write so much!

Ahh first of all, I'm super sorry it took me so long to reply!! I've been super busy but I really appreciate that you liked my ship and that you're giving me such great feedback because honestly, WOW I'd have never thought I'd get it right like that. I'm genuinely surprised but also super happy about it.

And all of this fits so well with your chart!! You being a double Aquarius with your sun in 1st definitely explains why you can relate to your sun sign so well. Our Ascendant is super important and shows us our outlook on life and also our destiny (or was is our desires? I gotta go look that up again and check which of the two words it was😂 I'm sorry I sometimes mix up English words that look similar😂 Non-native speaker problems ansjjsj). But anyway, it's so interesting to hear that because I actually am the exact other way.😂 My Aquarius sun is in the 7th house because I'm a Leo rising and since the sign on the 7th house cusp can be the traits we reject in ourselves, I struggle to relate to Aquarius memes and even my astro friends say I don't seem/act like an Aquarius. Isn't it interesting how we differ in these ways- I think that's what makes astrology so interesting because when you put all the pieces together, you get a unique chart of a unique individual.🥰

But other than that, I can honestly relate to many things you said were true for you - I also am artistic but logical as well.^^ And your artistic interests are so cool! I dance as well but have never managed to consistently journal. Do you have a bullet journal that you decorate and all? I always find them super aesthetic to look at.🤧 I may not really journal but I draw and sing :D

And everything you said about your emotional nature fits your Cancer moon so well and I also feel like it's makes for a very interesting combination with your Aquarius placements.

The way you can support your opinions well and go off when someone disagrees with you is definitely Aries Mars in 3rd culture haha. I'm the total opposite of that, I think I'd be horrible at debating and shy away from any form of conflict or argument/disagreement. :'))

But also, I really love that you're trying your best to be optimistic and hardworking, that's so admirable and I can also definitely see how you have a calm aura!^-^ I don't know how old you are but I definitely feel like you give off very mature vibes, so to me, it feels very comfortable to talk to you!!^-^

And please don't apologize!! It was a pleasure to read and sorry again for taking so long with my answer!!😭😭😭

[sillyfudgemonkeys]

@moldygreenblue (tumblr why are you always like this? ;w; lemme tag) 

I believe I went off on her a little before (outside her dungeon, x) Anyway Futaba’s there for a number of reasons:

 I hate her dungeon, her shadow, just her whole arc from a lore perspective. The rules are broken....no...shattered for her, not just P5′s rules but previous games’ rules. (I think I mentioned it in these posts x, x, x, btw these are all pre Royal.....Atlus probs saw a post about it and was like “we need to add doubts in Royal maybe now it’ll make sense!” srry boo but she says it’s no her mom and her cognition should reflect that right away you still messed up, also too little too late).

I’m pretty sure I remember talking about how I do no think she is a good representation of mental illness, she basically is cured with the “power of friendship” after a week (of being conscious), and they only use her lingering issues when they need it for plot reasons (on top of the fact iirc the writing between main story and CoOp is contradictory, iirc she’s like “MC you’re the one who saved me! I can only go out if I’m with YOU!” and then the next day of one of my playthroughs Yusuke literally picks her up and she’s like “oh I’m fine now, and it’s thanks to EVERYONE!” and it’s just....pandering for a romance in that CoOp). It pisses me off she’s the rep for mental illness. 

She takes up too much screen time, and it feels like a lot of actual issues/obstacles we could just....overcome is instead made so we NEED to use her (I’m looking at you dungeon 3 of PQ2, you can suck it, Fuuka should’ve been the focus, literally makes no sense for Futaba to be the focus????) 

Ties into point 1 but still deserves it’s own point. I hate how she’s like “THEY STOLE MY HEART! THEY CHANGED MY COGNITION!” but....we didn’t.......we literally didn’t. Did we help/save her with our intervention? Yes, but it’s not cause it was supernatural, we just showed up for her. Did WE solve her issue supernaturally.....no....not really, we didn’t get a chance (remember how....there was no treasure! oOo yeah we go into her Palace, but that’s not really changing her, it’s us going in irl and being like “yo ya gotta go outside! get that sunny D!” than us screwing with her dungeon). She solved it herself, Yaldy gave her the app, she ran into her Shadow, she accepted her Shadow, she solved it on her own. Not only is it a straight up lie, and conflating someone changing their mind/”heart” with the PT way of changing hearts (as well as the fact you know....we didn’t change her cognition, she did), but it also reduces her own involvement in her own healing process and overcoming the obstacle herself. We were just the spark, the rest of the flame emerged from Futaba. Like listen, the IRL stuff we did was important, but when it came down to the wire, it was her own memory and faith in herself and her mom that helped her confront herself and her false memories (because y’know...she couldn’t hear us). And it pisses me off that the writers would take something important to a character and her message, away for some bullshit reason.

I dunno some times she acted like an ass and it was just annoying, I already had Makoto/Yusuke/Goro/MC(even Mona/Ryu at times, to other’s not each other, obvie they do it to each other) kinda getting away(or have gotten away) with that without much reprimanding. (and tbh, anything that could possibly be redeemable, is either nonexistent, or overshadowed by the fact she’s mostly just there for her be connected to a literal mother of a plot device, no her hacking isn’t needed you have superpowers and another world WHY do you need to rely on her????literally states in the first dungeon you can’t use a phone camera in the metaverse even, but for some reason a laptop is fully working?????I know one is part of the phone and the other is a comp but it’s our only tech we know/can relate back to, so what does it mean Atlus? Is the comp allowed but the phone isn’t? Why? Just explain. Here’s one I just made up for you: Phone has to have the app open at all times in the metaverse! Or, actually no tech works well in the Metaverse, which means no laptop, one or the other choose please)

Oh she kinda screws us over, until we joined we didn’t have any connections to doing anything illegal. Yeah she throws that out the window. I mean we can always sell her out, but we are her enablers/accomplices.

Someone I know who was studying hacking at the time (for their work) was like “she’s kind of pulling that shit outta her ass.” And it hurt them to watch any of her scenes play out (I think the wire tap was the one thing she got a pass on tho). It doesn’t help it’s not really explained enough (so they can see if it’s plausible). To them it’s cringe, to me it shows convenience for the story (obvie I care more about how it hinders the story skadlfj;alfj and if it’s like they say, it annoys me even more). 

Spinoff wise I hate how she tries to grope Anne and Makoto in P5D, and I hate how she takes up a shit load of screen time in PQ2 (I don’t care Hikari is a shut in, gdi Fuuka earned that spotlight in dungeon 3, it makes no sense why Futaba would do it, hell Fuuka should’ve been chiming in due to her knowing what it’s like to be bullied, same with Rise iirc she was also bullied, like god damn, PQ2 really went “We’re gonna give all the screen time to P5 kids even tho they won’t really do jack shit with most of it, and just have P3/4 kids chime in enough to remember they exist”) 

Basically I don’t like what she brings to the table, esp since the game makes us rely on her. She doesn’t spark the exact same amount of rage that Makoto does (tho if you saw me my last playthrough during Futaba’s dungeon I’d say it’s pretty close), but it does feel insulting from a long time fan/lore fiend/just a freaking viewer trying to consume the medium that’s seeing there’s some toxic stuff in her writing (and I don’t mean “toxic” I mean “it’s really bad to freaking think that friends will fix your mental health, it won’t, and it’s unfair to you and your friends to even think of putting that onto them” bad levels of thinking). 

I also find she’s a wasted opportunity, such as “oh what if we solved this mental illness with supernatural means? what could possibly go wrong? Esp with how drastic the change is for other people we’ve done it to! :D” *cough* *cough* If only they figured out that’d be kinda interesting *cough**cough* Oh mean what a violet coughing fit, I mean violent.... >.> *in a bad canadian accent* I really need soome air eh?..........8U ANYWAY, the biggest role she serves (besides spotlight stealing to justify having a hacker), is a connection to her mom and showcasing that even “good people” can have palaces.....sadly the latter seems to fall on deaf ears on even fans of this game.....and the writers/characters. So uhhhh good job failing at the latter (for awhile at least), and uhhh....we could just NOT have the former! I think the gov could be shady without them also getting in on supernatural stuff but that’s just me. 030

[sabinefm]

( bruna marquezine , cis female , peach ) welcome to aida&stefano , SABINA REUBE ! thank you for choosing to stay here. in this form it says that you go by the SHE / HER , you’re TWENTY THREE years old , you’re originally from SAN FRANCISCO , and you’ve been staying here for ONE YEAR . it also says you’re known to be + RESOURCEFUL , but also - SELFISH. that really shouldn’t be a problem though. check in at the front , hope you enjoy your stay ! (the click of heels, hot sand under your bare feet, chocolate covered strawberries, the imprints a bra leaves on your skin, red lipstick staining your fingertips )

ABOUT THE MUN.  i hope this email never finds you 

hello all, my name is pepper and i have never been on time for anything, ever in my life sdjkdskj this is especially true today, rip. no but honestly, i never thought i would actually get accepted into this beautiful rp so i stalled checking acceptances cause i’m a Scaredy Cat and that made me really late, and then i ended up taking the rest of my coworker’s shift cause she had to go and thus ended up coming home even later than i thought which has made me really really late... BUT against all the odds i’m here! and ready to party! and tell y’all about my bby sabina! but first a little bit about me, i am twenty four (ew), i can’t cook (rip), and i currently spend most of my lonely quarantine days either watching anime or scrolling through tiktok. i am canadian but every canadian that meets me thinks i’m american and i don’t know why. when i was a child i had an irrational (or yk very rational) fear of sharkboy from sharkboy and lava girl, and tbh it has never left me. i was also afraid of gill from kim possible so you can imagine my horror when that fish f*cking movie won an oscar?? when i was younger i also thot god looked like king triton from the little mermaid cause he was white and he had a beard yk. it fit in my little brain. and finally i just recently discovered girl in red and therefore feel like i finally got my bi girl card,,, feeling validated in this chillis tonight. and if that doesn’t tell you everything you need to know about me idk what will. anyways, that’s officially enough about me onto who we’re all really here for, ms sabine!

BIO.  the lengths i would go to to both get attention and avoid it... astounding  tldr ; daughter of a guy who created a dating site + app, came to a&s after leaving her husband to be at the alter after catching him cheating with her mother, wants to be a bad bitch, sometimes succeeds. 

THEN.

sabina came into the world the child of a mediocre stay at home mom and a penniless entrepreneur so it goes without saying that she had very little. her dad had a lot of passion and a lot of drive but no one would really give him a chance, and her mother kind of only married the man because she was expecting him to make it big enough for her to never have to work another day in her life so? yeah she was hella disappointed tbh 

but not sabina! she looked up to her father so much as a child. while her mom was kind of ~emotionally unavailable~ her father was too, but like at least he had a dream he believed in, yk? he wanted to help people fall in love and sabine being the big romantic she was as a child had never heard of anything so noble. her daddy was her hero. sabina honestly had big daddy’s little girl vibes until she was like 22 tkjsdkjd

one day when their family credit card got rejected one too many times sabina’s mother called it quits on yk the whole mother gig. she left sabina on a bench outside of the grocery store while she went to go home and ‘get some cash’ which even at seven sabine knew was a damn lie cause they were too broke to have any damn cash. and yeah that was the last sabina heard of her for a long ass time. it was a reverse ‘dad went to get some cigarettes’ situation but just as traumatic honestly. 

although not as much for sabine’s dad. that man literally saw his wife leaving him as a minor setback and moved on. he threw himself harder into his work, to the point where sabine barely saw him. this was the start of sabine desperately trying to compete with her father’s business for even a sliver of his attention. this was a battle she usually lost. 

sabine raised herself for a while there, since her father yk remarried his job and her mother was following the jonas brother’s cross country. she became both very independent and very lonely for a child, which was an odd combination that both haunted sabine for pretty much the rest of her life after that point and lead her to make most of her worst decisions. but that’s a story for another time, because right when all hope was lost sabine’s father won the lottery. literally. 

all at once they were five million dollars richer. they went from nothing to everything real quick. and this marked a change in the reube’s lives in a way sabine couldn’t have even imagine at the time. 

sabine’s father hector used the money to fund his business and that shit blew up! he created a site by the name of loveisblind that was in the ring with the likes of match.com and christianmingle yk, one of those dating sites. everyone on loveisblind is set up on blind dates based on the information they fill out on their profile and are only allowed to see each other when they reach a certain point of emotional intimacy. the site had wild success rates, and got very popular, blah, blah, the point was the reubes? suddenly rich af!

and you think that would give hector more time to spend with his daughter right? no. it gave hector the money to hire nannies for his daughter. 

yes, somehow despite hector no longer having to work himself to the bone, sabine saw him even less. tragic really. she really became that lonely rich girl trope real quick, and this is what unfortunately got sabine into the habit of seeking the attention she wasn’t getting from her father in other men and women, which she is not proud of. 

that unfortunately didn’t fill the void that sabine had but you know what did? making the loveisblind app so her daddy would love her. basically around the time that tinder started gaining traction and getting popular, people stopped going on the loveisblind site and started instead turning to apps. her father was trying and failing to get into that market, and sabina, being yk, actually a lot more intelligent than her father ever gave her credit for, created the app for his site and pitched it to him over his lunch one day. it was honestly one of the first times sabina can remember her father really paying attention to her in the longest time. it was also the proudest she’s ever seen him. 

the app was a big success! a whole new generation was using it and finding love, including one ms sabine reube. in the early days of the app launch sabine met her prince charming, christopher ‘kit’ johannson. he swept her right off her feet, and she fell HARD, and when they debuted their relationship it wasn’t long until they kind of became the face of the app?? like sabine’s father was the creator after all, the fact that his daughter found love on the app too was big news for a while. people followed their relationship and strived for something like that for themselves. sabine didn’t know it at the time but they were basically a walking advertisement, and her father was LIVING for that.

fast forward a bit and your girl went to yale for computer engineering and business (did her daddy’s status and money ease the way? maybe man, nepotism am i right) whilst kit went to harvard, they were long distance for a bit before they graduated and kit very publicly proposed (the whole thing was well recorded too, gotta get that gram), and then both sab and kit moved in together and both started working for their families respective companies. it was around then that sabine started to understand just how much and how often kit was cheating on her. it was a real wakeup call. 

sabine ended up breaking down to her father about her suspicions, and he basically ended up telling her to suck it up and think of the business. the fact was sabine and kit, the face of their new generation and one of the first successful couples from the app getting married and living happily ever after was amazing for the company. and the two of them calling the whole thing off just because of a little infidelity just wasn’t going to cut it. 

now once again, this is where sabine’s deep desire to be loved and accepted really bites her in the ass. this was one of the first times sabine’s father had ever really asked her for anything so... she did it. or at least she did her best to do it. she lasted until the wedding day around the time where she caught kit and her own mother (who she only invited out of a deep rooted need to actually know the woman who gave birth to her again) going at it in the coat closet of their wedding venue. yeah, at that point sabine pretty much snapped, blacked out, smashed a whole wedding cake over kit’s head, and took their honeymoon to venice on her own. she arrived at Aida&Stefano with running mascara in a ruined wedding dress trying to ask about a honeymoon suite. it was a whole mess, but you know what so is sab so at least she was on brand. 

NOW.

after sabina arrived she spent about a week mourning her failed almost-marriage and yk, destroyed family before she decided to fuck it all and reinvent herself. she desperately wanted to become someone new, someone unrecognizable from who she was before, even if it was only on the inside. so she cut her hair (the first step to every transformation) hardened everything soft about herself and made the irrevocable decision to become a bad bitch. she (mostly) succeeded. kind of. 

sabine basically curb stomped out the soft, hopeless romantic people pleaser in her and decided to become someone more unsympathetic. someone who puts her own needs first instead of burning herself up to keep others warm (cause what good has that ever done her before?). someone who people would be afraid to hurt but who wouldn’t even feel pain anyways. and to sum it up that person is a heartless bitch. or at least she tries to be.

i’m gonna stop here because this is already a lot longer than i wanted it to be and i haven’t even got to the other sections yet rip but you get the point i feel

PERSONALITY.  *feels nothing* mmm, don’t like that *feels something but like too much* mmm not a fan of that either 

most of this is tbd because i’m still developing her but

VAIN. the kind of girl who will file her nails or check herself out in the mirror while you’re talking to her. will reapply her lipstick in the rearview mirror of her car while she’s driving. checks herself out in any reflective surface, i mean i would too if i looked like bruna but Still 

KIND. even though sab tries to be a hard ass she’s probably the most loyal, generous, kind person you would ever meet deep down. like she puts on this persona of being heartless, but if anyone needs her she will be there for them. kind of hates that she’s such a softie sometimes but she can’t help it. 

EMOTIONALLY UNAVAILABLE. doesn’t want to be hurt again and will do pretty much anything to avoid that. tries to keep people at arms length especially romantically. loves making friends though, and will indeed spoil them. 

HEADCANNONS.  who wants to hire me as their maid i’m not gonna clean im just gonna wear a cute maid outfit dust like 6 things and bend down a lot

has the vibes of that drunk rich aunt that’s always smoking like sexily as she looks far into the distance and wears like a super luxurious coat. will gossip with you. will buy you things your mom won’t. will cuss out your toxic father at the dinner table. that’s her energy.

unfortunately actually does smoke. i hate 

okay fun fact, the only reason sabine went to university for computer programming and business was because she felt her father wanted her to. she honestly has no real passion for the subject and just wanted to use her talent to make her father as proud of her as he was on the day she debuted that app to him. but now that making daddy proud isn’t like the only thing occupying her entire brain sabine like is like ??? wait what do i actually want to do with my life ??? and it took her a while to figure it out but after a while she fell back on one of her passions, art. she’s actually making a graphic novel aimed towards young adults about a modern day hades and persephone vibe, kind of about a girl who falls in love with the grim reaper and the lengths she goes to to chase after her (yes it is a Lady Reaper) into the depths of hell,,, it’s wild. she’s very proud of it but also kind of shy about it tbh. her go to critic is georgio, because she knows that little shit will be honest and yk what she respects that. 

but when it comes to making actual money your girl turns to cam work most of the time, because well. at the very least it’s quick, easy, and semi discreet. and sometimes she gets something out of it too. she figures it’s a win win, and she’s been doing it for about a year now, mostly because she absolutely refuses to use any of her father’s money. 

is allergic to cucumber. 

has a different 'relationship’ like every week or so, along with a few one night stands peppered in. unfortunately still attracted to people who are bad for her (kit for example was an asshole and a cheater and DEFINITELY conservative like she messed up on that one), but is also very afraid of falling in love again and letting herself get hurt, so she normally doesn’t let things last too long before she starts self sabotaging. 

if you ever catch sabine with like... her nails growing out or her nail polish chipped, something is wrong. like something is deeply wrong. sabine will have her nails done in the middle of the apocalypse, the only reason they would be less than perfect is if she is having a breakdown. always has colour on her nails, and usually it’s a shade of red, purple, or black. 

always has wild ass stories to tell about her tinder dates or one night stands and will tell them without shame for your entertainment. is a great storyteller honestly, a talent she got from her mother but she doesn’t want to admit that. 

fun fact, her mother mariah was PISSED when hector got rich AFTER she left him and tried for years to sue him or something but no dice. she was so angry and vengeful over the whole thing that she took the opportunity of being invited to her daughters wedding to get back at her husband where it hurt, his business. thus sleeping with kit. didn’t really think about how her daughter might feel about the whole thing because she was yk blinded by rage, but that’s just how mariah is so i mean,,, rip sabina. 

shops when she’s sad, or happy, or angry, or confused sdkjdsj will use any excuse to shop, and at this point she has more clothes than she knows what to do with. her style can be kind of out there at times, but she will let you borrow things though. 

she has a cat named momo. yes that is inspired by her being the peach skeleton. also has a parrot named poe i think. i also have the urge to give her a snake but... i will resist. so sabine wants a snake for sure 

her favourite colours are black and red

she is a horrible terrible driver. don’t drive with sabine unless you’re an adrenaline junkie or like want to die tbh 

her dad 100% set up the relationship between kit and sabine as a pr stunt, but sabine doesn’t know that yet and when she finds out her father used her like that ooh boy things are gonna get wildt. as it is now sabine just thinks she disappointed him and it’s kind of eating her alive. half the reason she’s staying here is because she doesn’t want to face him or yk her old life anymore. her father is so caught up in the shame she caused him that he hasn’t even tried to call her after the whole thing and the one time sabine got hella drunk and called him all he did was tell her what a disappointment she was and ask when she was coming back to work so we love ~parenting~

WANTED CONNECTIONS. girls will “🥺🥺🥺🥺” their way out of everything

close friends please and thanks, best friends also please, uh, can i get some awkward one night stands that avoid each other at all cost, can i get a neighbour who’s ear sabine is always talking off in the hallway between their rooms even tho they just want to go home but can’t because sabine is Oversharing, maybe a flirtationship, but also i would love an enemy (it could be for a ridiculous reason or a completely valid reason but either way please give it to me), someone she goes out dancing/partying with at piccolo, a sibling like relationship, a confidante, someone who she trusts to read her comic and maybe even do some linework, and absolutely anything else okay my brain is fried rn but i want it all! please like this and i will slip and slide into your dms <3

[ofcloudyskies]

hiya! i really, really hope things get better for you soon. if you ever want to talk about it, just know that i'm here ♡ i know what you mean about tumblr being a safe haven. looking back, i think i came back here bc i was going through a really rough patch (existential crisis do that to you) and even after all this time, i still find comfort in the chaos that is this website. it's become some sort of refuge where i can be silly and speak into the void about the things that make me happy. (1/6)

hello marina! <3 thanks to tumblr for the reveal haha :D i'll post this to keep the whole thing in one place

apart from ouat, i used to be really into glee. i stopped watching ouat after s5 and the later seasons of glee were a real roller coaster. but i was so happy in both fandoms. i mostly kept to my tiny bubble but i did meet so many lovely people. and the fact that i'll probably never know what's become of most of them will always hurt a bit. but yeah, life goes on and one can only hope that they're happy, wherever they are. ah, this got sappy haha. what other fandoms were you in before? (2/6)

my mind keeps drifting these days, too, and the fact that summer makes me feel super drained isn't helping at all. but YES, YESSSSS, i'm definitely up for a buddy reading. that may help us beat our reading slump! we can read "if we were villains" or we can choose any other book you may be interested in, of course! speaking of naomi novik, i started reading "spinning silver" a while ago after hearing great things from a friend of mine. (3/6)

i don't think i picked it at the right time, but god, the writing was so atmospheric and raw. i'll definitely go back to it one day, i love retellings. also, i hadn't even thought about the colors of the covers, what a cool coincidence! black and gold will always be one of my favorite combos. there's something so magical and kingly about it, right? the collector's edition for crooked kingdom is black and gold, too, and i couldn't stop staring at it the day it came in the mail hahaha. (4/6)

see, i'm incredibly intrigued about nikolai. i need to know more about him. that's one of the main reasons why i want to read the shadow and bone trilogy, actually. if i manage to get out of this terrible slump, i think i'll jump back into the grishaverse and give the trilogy a go. in the meantime, could netflix please give us a trailer or some promo pics? i need something, anything! (5/6)  

ahh, tumblr won't allow me to send any more questions for at least an hour because i exceeded the ask limit. but i just needed to send one last message, so i'll just come off anon, i guess hahaha. anyway, feel free to write as much as you want!! as you can see, my messages just keep getting longer and longer. aaah, i'm so sorry. but what can i say, i love letters too! (6/6)

~~~~~

ah, thank you for good wishes <3 i don't want to burden you too much with my life problems and tbh it doesn't really get easier no matter how many times i talk about it, i will most certainly end up crying again if i start thinking about it too much again. i’ve been living with this terrible feeling of uncertainty about the future for a year now (because the thing will happen, the question is how soon) and it feels like i’m always at the verge tears, one word, one thought and i break. ugh, now i’m being weirdly vague akfdjhg sorry >< but i hope you managed to get through your rough patch! if you need to vent about anything, you know where to find me!

oh, i'm actually rewatching glee right now! i was so into it in high school but stopped watching at some point. last fall i needed a pick-me-up show to pass a few weeks of alone evenings so i randomly decided to rewatch glee and this time to watch the whole thing till the end. i think i'm at the start of s4 now. i mostly only listen to the episodes while cooking :D

other than ouat i think i only actively participated in doctor who fandom. for other things i was just a lurker/rebloger... then i got into animanga (mostly into this one baseball manga?? i literally didn't know the rules of baseball back then. don't ask why i like it so much, i don't understand it myself haha, i just accept it) and made a sideblog for that which i started using more than the main blog so i made a separate account and came here only from time to time

YAY we can agree on ‘if we were villains’!! i’ve been considering ‘the priory of the orange tree’ from samantha shannon recently but it’s definitely too long for a slump mood. ah, naomi novik has polish roots and i remember uprooted was based on polish folklore, it was nice to see elements of the tales from my country in the story. i wonder if her other books have that as well. and oh my, i envy you the collector's edition of crooked kingdom! i own the duology but in the basic covers, i love them lots anyway. what are your other fav covers on your bookshelf? and i hope i didn't oversell nikolai, would be bad now if you read the books now and were meh about him ahaha, fingers crossed!

if you like writing letters to strangers, there's this cool app called 'slowly'. you’re matched with a stranger from somewhere in the world and you can write each other letters. the letter takes time to arrive to the recipient according to the distance between the countries where both people live. i used it a bit when i was stuck at home and wanted to feel connected to the world c:

idk how we should keep this going :D does fanmail still exist on tumblr? if u have ideas let me know hah. have a good night x

[stenbrozier]

Modern Losers’ Club Headcanons

Plot: Individual headcanons of the modern Loser’ about different things they’d do and love (mostly during high school)

Warnings: slight Reddie, shit ton of Stenburough, drug use + mentions of sex + swearing

——————————————————————————

Bill Denbrough:

~ He’s the artist, everyone knew that.

~Typical art kid who won all the awards and participated in every art class his school offered.

~ He just didn’t take choir or band because we know this boy has no musical abilities at all.

~ Bill would save up all his allowance and holiday money so that he could buy that really good drawing app that he could use on his IPad.

~ After he got it, there was no way to get him to look up at you for more than ten seconds. He would fall in love with digital art.

~ Remember he took all of the art classes? Well, creative writing and poetry we’re considered arts at Derry High School, so that’s where he fell in love with writing.

~ Suprisingly, he would be really into heavy metal. Bands like Bring Me the Horizon and Of Mice and Men would blare in his headphones while he drew in his room late at night.

~ Bill would also really love watching indie movies on Netflix and other platforms. He’s lowkey a movie buff, but he doesn’t tell people too much.

~ His favorite movie from the past decade would probably be Moonrise Kingdom (good movie!!) or The Skeleton Twins (also good movie!!)

~ Bill’s favorite book would 10000% be Turtles All The Way Down by John Green because of the main character and her battle with anxiety.

——————————————————————————

Mike Hanlon:

~ He runs a cooking YouTube channel, you can’t fight me on this one.

~ Mike would definitely have one of those motorized scooters, idk seems like a Mike thing

~ He’s in love with video games but only the ones that are based on a lot of skill. He doesn’t like first person shooters, nor does he like any games with violence at all. Tbh, Papa’s Pizzeria is right up his alley.

~ Mike would be a gym try hard, most definitely. But in every other class he’d just sit on his phone.

~ But he’s so smart that he’d pass all the tests anyway.

~ He’d work a lot just so he could afford the newest phone because he thinks it gives people less of a reason to pick on him and bully him. (News flash: it doesn’t)

~ Whenever Mike isn’t working, he volunteers at the animal shelter in Derry. He runs the Instagram account :)

~ Probably one of the guys who posts shirtless pics on Instagram because he likes the attention the girls give him in the comments.

~ Will answer any of Bill’s texts at 3am when he wants feedback on a new piece of art.

~ A secret theatre kid, no doubt. Not really a musical kid, but he loves acting and just being on stage with everyone’s attention on him.

——————————————————————————

Richie Tozier:

~ Speaking of theatre kids, Richie is the BIGGEST fucking one. He has been in every musical and play that his school has done since 6th grade, and he was one of the best kids they had.

~ He wears Pierce the Veil and Sleeping with Sirens shirts, but Richie mostly listens to softer bands like Arctic Monkeys and The Neighbourhood.

~ He has a bi pride pin on his backpack. Kids will sometimes pull it off and throw it around, but he just pulls another one out of a ziploc bag full of them in the tiny front pouch of his bag and sticks it on there.

~ Richie unapologetically owns a Juul and will sometimes let Bev borrow it as long as she pays him “25 cents a hit”, which she never does.

~ Posts music on SoundCloud. He’s not much of a singer outside of the musicals because he’s mostly shy with his talent; however, he does a lot of instrumentals.

~ Richie shops are thrift stores most of the time. He’ll take Eddie with him and though Eddie won’t touch anything until it’s been washed twice, Richie will buy him anything he likes.

~ He LOVES Harry Potter. He found the first book when he was younger and he just fell in love with the story. He owns all the first editions and all of the movies.

~ Goes to small venues to see bands that no one knows. Richie will go to so many concerts because he likes the escape it brings for him. He’s in his element when he goes to concerts.

~ Despite what many people think, he isn’t a whore :0 He just flirts a lot and he actually didn’t lose his virginity till he was 17 at a party. He regrets it, though, cause he was drunk off his ass.

~ He was also in the color guard for his high school’s marching band. A lot of the girls from the theatre stuff begged him to be apart of it because he could dance really well, and he ended up being in it for both the indoor and outdoor seasons all throughout high school.

——————————————————————————

Eddie Kaspbrak:

~ BOOKWORM, BOOKWORM, B O O K W O R M!!! This boy would spend every second he could just browsing the books that his school library had.

~ After he yelled at his mom for his pills, he started to kind of overcome his germaphobe tendencies, but he still was very iffy about touching things in places he’d never been.

~ For example, Richie took him to the park one time and he had never been there before, so the whole time he was holding his noses and steering clear of the snot nosed little kids.

~ Him and Richie definitely dated at some point or another. Whether to get a feel for guys or just for each other, but it did happen. Beverly was the only one who ever knew.

~ Eddie fell in love with engineering at school. He would always call one of the Losers at an ungodly hour in the morning and rant about how all of the buildings in town were built and with what materials. Honestly, Ben was the only one who shared this interest with him.

~ Eddie was the first to get his own car so all of the Losers would pile into his Jeep. Richie always tried to convince him to take off the doors, but Eddie thought that that was the biggest goddamn safety hazard he’d ever heard.

~ As they all got older, obviously him and Richie stayed close, but he also got surprisingly close with Ben and Ben would gush about Beverly to him after Eddie would excitedly explain how a car’s engine works or something like that.

~ Eddie was the one to convince Beverly to go after Ben and stop pining over Bill.

~ Eddie went to concerts with Richie all the time, and even if the sweaty roadies grossed him out, he fell in love with the bass killing his eardrums and the way the mic static could transform someone’s voice.

~ He also joined his school’s marching band (mainly cause Richie begged him) and was fucking AMAZING at playing snare drums.

——————————————————————————

Stanley Uris:

~ He was the last one to enter high school, everyone a year ahead of him, but he was ironically the most popular among the lower class men.

~ Stan was a very private person, but his willingness to do other’s homework for $5 a page made him infamous.

~ Because of all this money he’d been making, he’d buy the Losers presents all the time. He would treat them to their favorite snacks whenever they went to Keene’s or to a new shirt whenever they went to the mall over in Bangor. And he never went over budget because he’s a goddamn accountant by nature.

~ He had a massive crush on Bill and asked him to homecoming his freshman year. Yeah, they were bullied, but Stan couldn’t have been more happier.

~ Bill convinced him to tryout for the baseball team. He tried out for pitcher and got it immediately. He was also one of the sports kids who would post on his Snapchat whenever they had a game.

~ Him and Bill ended up dating up until junior year, when Bill admitted that he wanted to date at least one girl before college and Stan wasn’t mad because he honestly wasn’t feeling it anymore. Afterwards, they both started dating cheerleaders.

~ Stan was in Calculus his sophomore year of high school, which was the class that all of the AP seniors took. Many people called him a genius, he just thanked the internet.

~ Stan fell in love with indie bands like R.O.A.R and Florence + The Machines. Richie did, however, convince him to go to concerts with him and Eds. He might’ve not enjoyed the music, but he still loved being with his best friends since diapers.

~ He didn’t like movies too much but would watch them with Bill. He enjoyed TV shows a lot more. He’s definitely a true crime baby.

~ Stan also fell in love with photography because he was forced to take the class. He begged his parents to buy him a camera for his birthday, and his many cork boards were filled with pictures of his friends and birds.

——————————————————————————

Ben Hanscom:

~ Was a track start in high school. He ran off all of his fat and just fell in love with the high of running (tbh this is my favorite part about Ben’s character. like such a determined boy 🥺)

~ Ben enjoyed sitting at the library with Eddie and just watching him peruse books, usually pointing a few that he had read and liked. He also just loved the fact that him and Eddie were able to get so close as they got older.

~ Ben was in all the engineering courses his school offered. He was just so happy that he could take classes that pertained to the career path he wanted to go down.

~ He was able to finally get Beverly their senior year. He had been in love with her for the longest time, and she asked him to homecoming.

~ Ben also considered trying out for the football team, but it conflicted with the winter track season so he wasn’t able to; however, him, Mike, and Bill would always play their own small games in the field by Mike’s house.

~ While Stan helped everything with their math homework, Ben helped everyone with their history homework. He was a big history nerd, and everyone knew he paid attention the most.

~ He lost a bet one time and Richie was able to give him a stick and poke tattoo anywhere of his choosing. So now on the inside of his left ring finger he has R.T. written messily.

~ Ben loves pop music. He had always liked it, and some of his favorite artists were Katy Perry and Sia.

~ He rode his bike to school everyday. He was a very big proponent for the environment and hated the idea of driving, so he’d pass up the rides from Eddie or Richie and just bike with his headphones in.

~ Ben was apart of the school’s Green Team and protested climate change and the use of fossil fuels. When he had free time, he’d study ways that he could benefit the environment when he became an architect.

——————————————————————————

Beverly Marsh:

~ She was an English wiz. It was her favorite subject, and she fell in love with analyzing poetry and other forms of literary work.

~ Beverly started to let her hair grow out again and she was relieved to see that it started to grow out straight. She hated her curly hair.

~ She bleached her hair a few times throughout high school; she hated the red because it reminded her too much of her mother.

~ Her and Richie’s friendship fell off big time, but she got super close with Bill, Ben, and Mike. Her crush in Bill didn’t deplete for a while, even after him and Stan started dating. She still had hope.

~ Eddie told her about Ben and it really changed her whole perspective on everything. But that wasn’t until junior year.

~ Though she didn’t have too good of a singing voice, she loved being in choir. The angelic reverberations throughout the auditorium whenever they performed always gave her chills and she wanted so desperately to be a part of it.

~ Beverly wrote a lot of poetry. She wrote some to her friends, to her dead mom, to her asshole dad. Just to whoever she was focused on in that moment.

~ She helped Mike after school at the animal shelter and actually ended up adopting a kitten for herself.

~ Luckily, her dad didn’t mind the cat too much as long as Bev took care of it and didn’t bother him for a single thing.

~ Beverly didn’t get her license until she was well into her twenties, but she loved hanging her arm out of the passenger’s side window of Richie’s car and listen to the bands that he’d blast with closed eyes.

[sidrareiss-blog]

( hannah john-kamen, she/they, pansexual ) registering information about sidra “sid” reiss… they are a 28 year old artist/hacker/programmer from las vegas, nv. identifying as non-binary, their profile states they are observant and audacious. i hear they would be against war with the androids. let’s hope cyberlife can fix that glitch before one happens. 

so hi there, i’m daisy and this is my first kid, sid reiss. i’ll drop some fun facts about her here, but if you’ve got any questions i’m always around to answer them. i’ll also eventually probably start making my own gif icons for her, but for now i just can’t be bothered.

- pinterest can be found here.

- comes from a stupidly wealthy family - they’ve been in the tech industry for decades, sold out to cyberlife but still manage their own company with relative freedom. they work in VI ( think siri/alexa/cortana but More™ ) and stay far away from any sort of ai/android type territory. 

- parents never married, sid spent most of her childhood summers in new york with her father, which is where she developed her love for all things artistic.

⫸ - has two half siblings on her father’s side - one younger and one older. she never met the older one, though they exchange holiday cards. 

- the younger sibling is NELLY KING. sid absolutely adores her, spent the summers with her considering nel lives with their dad. is always willing to drop whatever she’s doing when nel needs her - doesn’t judge her life choices, just as long as she’s careful and stays safe.

- mother wants her to step up and get back in with the company, sid clearly has no interest in spite of having a knack for it. she’d personally rather program things for her own use. at least some part of the reason she won’t fall in line is the tie to cyberlife.

- mother tried forcing her hand by cutting her off from family funds, but as sid was already doing rather well as an artist it only succeeded in creating a larger rift between the two.

⫸ - has two androids - a model for her art and a bodyguard. both are older models given to her by her mother when she was a teen, back before their relationship completely fell apart. there were originally three, however one was damaged beyond repair in an incident about a year ago that sid rarely talks about. 

- has been living in nyc for the last seven years, is definitely open to having made all sorts of connections since she’s been here.

- is a pretty well known artist. loves painting, is more likely to sell her paintings than any of her other art. also works with a program she wrote/altered herself to create holographic/virtual 3D art - she’s been known to display these pieces, but rarely sells them as she would have to set up a device capable of displaying it ( which is both Not Cheap™ and makes her skin crawl bc she doesn’t like strangers enough to give out her programs ).

- used to spend a lot of time making people’s lives ( mostly her mom’s, tbh ) difficult via hacking. she’s pretty talented, mostly because she’s been practicing since she as a kid stuck at her mom’s office after school. will still poke around in things she shouldn’t from time to time, but not terribly often.

- she still works with minor programming stuff, apps and the like mostly, but typically for herself or her friends/family. used to to bigger stuff but like.... she hated it? or at least the environment she was doing it in. currently has a VI wired through her apartment that only responds to her voice commands, sort of like siri/alexa/the thing her mom’s company makes except it’s fully personalized.

i’m almost positive i left some things out, but like i said i’m always open to questions. my dis.cord ( daisychain#5830 ) is usually the best way to reach me, but ims are always open!

⫸ indicates a wanted connection

[slytherinspage]

So I guess this is going to be the story of me and my LDR (long distance relationship).

Before the actual story begins I wanna apology for my inability to tell stories, I don’t know why but all my friends seem to be great at telling stories, making them really thrilling and mine sound boring all the time although they weren’t when I was living them?? But anyway, let the story begin.

So it was on April 8th when we first started texting. The app we „met“ if u can say so is called ACEapp. Ironically I didn’t get the app because I was hoping to find my soulmate on there. I was just bored and thought texting some strangers would be a nice way to kill time. I don’t even identify as asexual since I‘m not labeling myself. So I texted pretty much everyone on this app within the first 48h. I had some great conversation but everything seemed not to last for longer than a day. One of the people I texted is now my boyfriend. What I know from what he told me is that he got the app because he felt lonely that night. He got plenty of messages but didn’t respond to any of them except mine. (Which is funny init because my first message was literally „how did u manage to only put one sentence in your bio“. I didn’t even say hi, haha). Plus he told me that he wouldn’t have responded if he wasn’t drinking with his friends and bored because he didn’t wanna talk to anybody who’s not from the UK (because of the distance). (Fun fact: They all shaved their heads that night, aha). So we started talking and I believe after an hour or so we switched to snapchat, which is probably why we continued talking.

It was different with him than with other people because whenever a conversation seemed to be dying we (mostly him at the beginning) just started a new one so we wouldn’t stop talking. He was really sweet from the beginning, sending me messages when I was asleep. I think that’s what made me realize his different and I can’t ever let him go again. The remarkable thing is that he went through a really rough time back then. (I don’t wanna go into detail since I feel like that doesn’t belong on this blog. But he told me more than once that if he haven’t met me, he probably wouldn’t be alive no more). But although he had so much stuff going on, he always stayed kind and caring, trying his best to make me feel like i matter and like everything I have to say matters. That’s probably why and when I started falling in love with him although I probably had no idea back then.

At this point I feel like maybe it would be interesting to have his side of the story as well, how he experienced it. Maybe I‘m going to ask him to write a paragraph himself at some point. But he probably cba to do so, haha.

So I think two weeks in was the first time we called. Drunk. I was too scared to do it sober since I wasn’t confident with my English. (I‘m Swiss and he‘s English). We called drunk for about 3-4 times. (I can‘t remember it exactly). One day I called him sober. Out of nowhere. It was awkward since I was so nervous. But then some days later I called again. For 4h this time. It felt like 20 minutes. And it went so well. I mean texting him was great but calling him was even better. (Edit: We made a deal to call and send a photo at least once a week. But after the first week there was no use for this deal no more). At first it was every few days, then daily. And after like a week we stopped ending calls when we went to bed. We called overnight and on the way to work. He got up earlier only for me. At some point I just switched to video call. Which he wasn’t happy about because he isn’t very confident about his looks. (So am I tbh). But he’s very good looking, believe me guys. Anyway luckily he played along.

I couldn’t remember who said „I love you“ first. Had to ask him. So we think it was me who said „ly“ first but over text early on but more to make him feel loved then to like confess feelings that probably weren’t even there back then. He texted „I love you“ first but when he was drunk and back then I don’t think he meant it like that. He said „I love you“ first on call, on our 3. call we did sober. It doesn’t seem like such a big deal so..you should know that he was very scared of falling in love and being hurt and thats why he didn’t wanna confess to himself he liked me.

So we decided pretty early that we wanna meet up. But it was me having a week of in September and wanting to go on holidays and not me wanting to meet up with him because I thought we could become a couple or something. We wanted to go to Greece. Changed plans later tho. The new plan was I would come and visit him so we could save money. It wasn’t till June tho when I finally booked. My flight was supposed to take off on August 30. I feel like towards the end of June, beginning of July things started to get more serious, the feelings got more serious. In the end of June I ordered him a birthday present. A sweater. He also ordered me one. I got two presents tho because my birthday was after his and he got me one to open earlier so I wouldnt have to wait that long. Mine was a hp themed pillow. I got mad so I ordered him a second one for his birthday. A spiderman funko pop. So I believe up till July he was always reminding me that we’re not together (thank you at this point boo, that wasn’t needed X) but at some point that change and he was asking if he could ask me out if things go well. I said yes but if he wants to make it official on a specific date he should choose a good one like the 1.9.19. (which would have been my third day at his). We also talked about stuff that comes with a relationship like kissing and sex. (On call btw). Because I am very afraid of failing and I‘ve never like kissed anyone or had sex because I have always been so scared. But everything was fine for him. Another reason why he was on the app was because he wanted things to go slowly this time. (Which they didnt really). So he would have been fine with just holding hands and we didnt think we would have sex before like 5 years into the relationship. (No spoilers but oh boy where we wrong, ahahah). So it was July 15, his birthday. I was at work when I realized I got 6 days off before I‘m going to a festival. And his birthday sesh would have been on July 20th and I was lowkey upset that I can’t be there. So I told him about it, told him I could book a flight on the upcoming friday (July 19th). At first he didnt want me to. It was a lot of money. But I booked it anyway. And suddenly I had no time no more to emotionally prepare myself for meeting him. There was no time to think about what could go wrong or what I‘m afraid of because I was at work all week long till I would fly. Also it was a big risk since I‘ve still had the other flight booked for September so if we wouldn’t get along, I would have lost money.

So the day before I flew we called overnight and he wished me a safe flight. I called him again before the take off. The next time I called him was when I was on the train to him in England and he was on the bus to come and pick me up. Everything was normal. Then we ended the call. And I can tell you guys not everything always goes perfectly at first. Our first meeting was horrible. I got off the train and didnt see him. He went up to me and hugged me. I wanted to hug him for longer or go in for a second hug but he turned me down. (Thank you very much boo, again X). He was shaking and talking very fast and high pitched because he was so nervous. Which made me nervous and I didn’t understand anything he was saying and I was so confused because I understood him perfectly on call but just not in person. Later he told me another reason he acted so weirdly was because he thought we were late for the bus. I carried my suitcase because I felt uncomfortable. We were sitting at the bus station, talking about random things I cannot remember. It was weird and awkward. We got on the bus. Stopped talking. He wouldn’t take my hand or anything. I saw my face in a mirror and felt so ugly. I started crying because I thought now he saw me in person, thinks I‘m ugly and doesn’t like my personality and well doesn’t like me no more. And now I have to spend 6 days with him and I still like him and it hurts. He hold my hand when I was crying which made me feel better but as soon as I stopped he let go which made it worse cos I felt like he was only holding my hand because I was crying not because he liked me. So we got off the bus and walked to his. He wanted to carry my suitcase but I wanted to do it myself because I thought he wouldn’t like me and I didn’t wanted him to do it because he feels bad (which is a. a stupid reason and b. stupid cos I got asthma). So after a while he took my suitcase anyway. We got to his and I met his dad briefly. I was very tired so I laid down in his bed. He asked me if he should lay down with me. I said that I don’t care. (Because I still thought he didnt like me). He then said but ob call I asked him to do so and then he laid down. And he asked if he could spoon me. Which got me really confused so I went like „do you still wanna spoon me then?“ And he said like ofc he want to. So we laid down for like 3h and all the awkwardness kinda disappeared. I felt comfortable.

We then had to go because on that day there was a charity event of his family. Which definitely didn‘t gave me anxiety at all. I met his mother, his siblings, aunts, cousins and all his friends. Luckily there was a bar in this building, haha. I can’t remember if we were holding hands or anything. Obviously a lot of people had questions and were wondering if we were together. (I still thought he doesn’t like me and just accepted it). Because it was the 19.07.19 and I said I would also consider that as a date cos there are two 19s in it. But when someone asked (I don’t remember who) I think he asked me if it would be okay for me and then he told them that I am indeed his girlfriend.

The next day we went on a walk in the morning. (He lives by the sea). Almost no one was there besides some people walking there dogs. Felt like nintendogs in real life, aha. He later said it was the most romantic walk he ever had. Later that day there was his birthday bbq at his. I went to bed at some point because I was so tired. Then we went out with his friends. We went to three bars. Up to this point no kissing or anything. Only cuddling at night. He was drunk and I was maybe a little tipsy. He said something along „If there weren’t so many people and you were comfortable I would kiss you right now.“ We went to a club. I felt a bit sick which was why I wanted a glass of water and to sit down. Everyone else was dancing but we were sitting there talking. Unfortunately I can’t remember what his exact words were but I think he asked me if he could kiss me or just go for it. He thought I would turn him down but I kissed him back. Also maybe my hand went down his pants but who knows. We then went home. He stared at me for the whole 30min walk. It was almost scary. I remember telling him I‘m sorry but I can’t do this. By this I mean wanking him off or giving him a bj. (Btw could my post get flagged?? I hope not.) Although I‘ve liked tried it and for a girl that has never kissed someone, never kisses someone with tongue, never touched a dick or had one in her mouth I feel like I‘ve done a pretty good job doing all that in one night, on my second day with him. And I was almost sober so. Anyway at this point I got anxious again. But I took my shirt of (when spooning) and told him but we can do this and took his hand, placed it on my boob. But then I started kissing him again. We didn’t have had sex that night tho. He was too drunk.

The next morning we showered together. (Which was my idea). And from that day on we always showered together. I think that day we went to the cinema with a friend of his. We didn’t do a lot when I was there just because we have a lot of things planned for September, the first two days were very stressful and we wanted to use the time to get to know each other. So that day we had sex and were sober. But apart from that we spent a lot of tim cuddling and watching films. Nothing too exiting but we never got bored because somehow we never get bored when being together and we can talk for hours or just be cuddling. I was so happy being with him, I don’t regret anything and I can’t wait to see him again in 33 days.

So there you have it. The story with the happy ending. Let’s hope the happy ending lasts forever.