#tbh do I even want to in some weird awkward way maybe also no but still sigh

[gigantomachylesbian]

Guys. I did not know before now that writing could be painfully millennial in a full prose book but the pho*nix ke*per has proven me wrong and I have to complain about it in the tags

[nikkeora]

For All the Mary Janes

summary; 'in every other universe, gwen stacy falls for spider-man. and in every other universe, it doesn’t end well'. what about the mary janes, then?

or, in which you're the mary jane to miles's spider-man

pairing(s); e-1610! Miles Morales x reader, e-42! Miles Morales x reader

warning(s); i didn’t have any specific gender or race for r in mind while writing, but rio calls r ‘mija’ once and i think that’s ab it

maybe some incorrect usage of Spanish? Spanish speakers who can respond to my weird questions pls hmu

maybe ooc but it’s been in my drafts so long i just wanted to get it out tbh

implied/mentioned parental issues with reader, not proofread, written (mostly) at ao3 hours

You and Miles were always joined at the hip. Your parents knew each other well, so your families were together a lot. Mr. and Mrs. Morales saw you like their own daughter, often joking that you and Miles would be engaged when you got older with the way he could never leave you alone.

At least, up till around two years ago.

You and Miles started to grow apart when you got into Visions Academy. He thought it was a stupid school full of stuck-up rich kids who only cared about making connections that would help them along further down the line. You thought it was a good school that had a good track record of producing students that had a lot of success in what they wanted to do.

Some things were said the day before your transfer.

Since then, the two of you rarely texted or called. Mrs. Morales would often come by for coffee with your mom, tell you about how her son was doing and gush over 'how much you've grown' from last Tuesday, but that was about the only way you knew the vague outline of what he was up to.

You'd admit you felt lonely for a while. After all, Miles had been your best friend ever since you could remember. But you also weren't going to go running to him after everything he'd said.

I mean, was it really that bad to want a good future?

Soon enough though, you felt like yourself again. You met new people, made new contacts, and actual friends. Because contrary to popular belief, the people there weren't all mini business men and heartless CEOs in the making. They were just kids, after all.

And then, Miles won the draw. Just a few weeks before the start of the new semester, your parents mentioned that he'd be going to your school from now on in passing.

You didn't think much of it at first. I mean, everyone has that one childhood friend that they fell apart with, right? For the first week or so, you didn't even see his face much. In fact, you didn't see him at all, not even a glimpse in the halls.

That was about to change drastically.

Short story shorter, you caught a glimpse of him walking on the side of the school with pigeons stuck to his hands. A month or two later, Spider-Man climbed through your dorm window, ripping off his mask and ranting about some villain of the week.

"I couldn't even catch the guy-"

"Miles?"

"...You're not Ganke."

The two of you made up that night. He apologized, admitting he was being unfair and was upset that you were leaving his school. It didn't exactly clear everything, but it was a start. The two of you caught each other up on everything they had missed. In the end, the sun was about to come up and the both of you realized you hadn't gotten a minute of sleep on a school night.

From then on, the two of you get closer again. He went to you for the occasional rant or patch up, and he actively sought you out in school now, relieved to see a familiar face in the halls. Gradually, you got close to the point you'd call him one of your best friends and vice versa after around a year of radio static.

Everything was great. He was cute, funny - in an awkward way, but hey, he made you laugh - he looked out for you, and when he talked to you he did this cute little thing where he would play with the strings of his hoodie which he somehow always managed to layer on with like two other jackets and—

Oh yeah, did we mention the crush you had on him?

Because there was one.

Big huge one, right here. Materialized out of thin air looks like.

Which should have been fine. You were perfectly capable of hiding a crush. I mean, come on, it's high school. You would've been eaten alive if you couldn't.

Normally, you would even be confident that you could make your crush like you back. I mean, why wouldn't he?

Two words. One person.

Gwen Stacy.

It was like he could never go even one conversation without mentioning her.

Slight exaggeration? Maybe. Maybe not.

"Oh yeah, that's cool! Y'know, Gwen told me one time that—"

"You got an A, I knew you could do it! I told you so. Did you know Gwen got A's in—"

"Oh hey, you got your hair cut! Reminds me of that time when me and Gwen—"

At first, it was bearable. Sure, she came up annoyingly often whenever you talked, but she had just left this dimension, never to be seen again. Of course he was gonna miss her.

You laughed at all his stories, listened to every one even though he told the same six or seven ones over and over again. You even grew to like Gwen, as if you'd known her for the short amount of time Miles did, too.

But then two months passed. Then six. Then a whole year. Before you knew it, a year and four months had passed since the departure of Gwen Stacy.

And he still. Wouldn't. Shut. Up.

You had tried to understand. You really did.

But you can only hear the same damn jokes so many times before you get a migraine.

Pick any story. You could list off every variation of how Miles would tell it off the top of your head.

Gwen Stacy became the daughter of one of your mom’s friends, so to speak. That one girl in the neighborhood you couldn’t help but envy.

And worst of all, it was like he wished you were her.

Whenever you did something, he would tell you how Gwen could do it better. He would ask you whether or not you thought Gwen would like certain trinkets he found around town, and kept a collection of them in one of his drawers so he could give them to her one day. He was even studying quantum physics instead of art so that he could make his own multiversal gateway - a safe one, so that he could unlock the multiverse, possibly for good.

It hurt when he zoned out while you were telling him about you, thinking about her; your day, what you wanted to study, how your parents were fighting a lot again lately and you were struggling because of it, how you'd joined a new band—

"A band, huh?" Miles suddenly perked up, finally looking up from his sketchbook. "Did I tell you Gwen's in a band? It's called the Mary Janes—"

"Miles would you please stop?"

A pause, both of you mildly surprised at how you'd snapped at him.

The two of you were at your dorm, seated side-by-side on the bed with your legs folded in front of you. It was Friday, the day before Mr. Morales’s pre signing-in party.

The boy looked at you, a questioning look on his face. "What's wrong?"

And that tilt with his head - he really didn't know, did he? You couldn't decide if that was better or worse.

"Miles, I know Gwen's in a band," He tried to say something, but you didn't let him speak before you continued. "I know she's a drummer, I know she does ballet, I know she had to shave half of her head because you couldn't control your powers - hell, the whole school knows that—"

"C’mon, don’t bring that up—"

"—I know every single story she told you while she was here, and I know every single detail of what you two did and how you did it. And I know she does everything I can do and she does it better. I’m tired of hearing it, Miles." His eyebrows furrowed, a slightly hurt look flashing across his face. "I’m sorry you miss her and I’m sorry she’s gone, but I just can’t be around you if all you’re gonna do is compare me to her."

A moment of silence settled in the air. You hoped Miles would understand. Surely, he’d see how tedious this was getting.

"All I’m asking is for you to tone it down."

Another beat passes without a word from the boy. He’s looking into your eyes, but it doesn’t seem like he’s all there. Like there’s a world past your irises that he’s seeing for the first time.

"I- I’m sorry, y/n, I can’t do that." Miles finally says, his gaze turning away from yours and to the sketch he’d been working on for the last hour. You glanced down at it as well, the bright blue eyes of the one and only Gwen Stacy meeting yours.

"You’re the only one I can talk to on this," he said quietly, softly closing the sketchbook and tapping a finger nervously on the cover.

"Ganke?"

"Ganke’s fine, he’s great, he’s just.. not someone I can go to for these things."

You took a deep breath, the guilt of having to tell him ‘no’ building up in your chest. You knew his relationship with his parents were complicated at the moment, and he didn’t really have friends outside of you and Ganke. But still.. it was like he wasn’t at all interested in what was going on in your life ever since your initial reconnection.

It wasn’t like you expected a complete 50:50 give-and-take in relationships, but honestly you felt like you were talking to a robot with very limited audio cues.

"Miles, you don’t listen to me anymore. The only time you actually respond to anything I say is when it’s something even remotely related to Gwen."

"That’s not true!" Miles protested. You watched as he tried to find something to argue his point, only to come up empty. His shoulders sagged a little.

"But you gotta understand, Gwen - I’m not gonna see her again, at least until I figure out.. everything." He said in a quiet voice. "I need to talk to someone. Can’t you understand?”

"I’m not trying to shut everything down, I’m just asking you to pay attention to me every once in a while." You sighed. "And if you’e not willing to do that… do you even think of me as a friend?"

-

Miles left your dorm not long after that little talk, sneaking out the same way he snuck in; through the window. You dug your nails into your palms, breathing in and out in a steady rhythm to push down any sadness you may have felt. It was the second time you and Miles had grown apart, this time maybe your fault a little more than his. It felt like it, anyway.

Still, you felt like you’d done the right thing.

You hoped so, anyway.

-

It was an hour before Jeff Morales’s technically-not-captain-yet-but-will-be-soon celebration. Your dad and yourself had come early to prepare everything and set up all the decorations. Your mom apparently ‘couldn’t make it’. It was the third time in the last two weeks she cancelled on plans that your dad was involved in.

You stacked red plastic cups on one of the tables, a cooler full of ice and two-litre soda bottles to your left. Miles’s parents had insisted they didn’t need any help, but your dad had insisted right on back that the two of you wanted to. You didn’t mind. You’d cleared your evening for the event anyway, so it’s not like you had anything better to do.

The one thing that made you kind of regret coming was your lack of a jacket. It’d been really sunny in the morning, so you’d figured it would be a warm night. A breeze picked up and sent a light chill through your body, causing you to just barely shiver.

"Mija," Mrs. Morales called, coming up from behind you and laying a hand on your shoulder. "You’re freezing."

"Oh, I’m fine, mama," you replied, smiling at her. She gave you a look that said ‘we both know that isn’t true’.

"Miles might have something in his room," she suggested, "I’m sure he wouldn’t mind if you borrowed one of his clothes."

You thanked her but refused, claiming it might get warmer once the guests started to arrive and the party was at full swing. She must have noticed something was off when she mentioned Miles, because she raised an eyebrow and shook her head lightly before asking,

"What did he do now?"

Either you’re really bad at hiding things from her or her motherly sixth-sense worked on you too. You hesitated, but decided it wouldn’t hurt to tell her. After all, Rio had always been like a mom to you.

"We had a fight - if you can even call it that, anyway, about a girl," you said, fiddling with a plastic cup. "We’re not on real good terms right now, I don’t think…"

Rio looked slightly surprised for a moment, then something seemed to click into place. She sighed and put her hands on your cheeks. "He’s a little bit slow," she said, giving you a sympathetic smile. "But he’ll get there. Eventually."

She then squished your face before immediately letting go, making you laugh. "Now go get yourself a jacket. I don’t want my only daughter to freeze to death."

You held your hands up in surrender as she pointed to the stairs, swiftly making your way down to the Moraleses’ flat. You had a spare key that Miles’s parents had given you a long while ago, when your parents used to have full on screaming matches in the middle of the living room every other day.

Within a couple minutes you’d grabbed one of the dozen coats, hoodies and jackets strewn about Miles’s closet, pulling the soft material over your shoulders as you took a glance around his room. Everything was about the same as you’d seen two or three weeks ago, save for a few new stickers laid about the desk.

There was an all-too-familiar sketchbook on the bed, one similar to what Miles had been scribbling in last night in your dorm, just in a different color. This one looked a bit more used, so you supposed he’d gotten it and packed it full of Gwen Stacy just after she left this reality. The thought put a bitter taste on your tongue.

-

A half an hour into the party, Miles still hadn’t showed up. He was supposed to be here at least twenty minutes ago, and you could tell his parents were getting both worried and annoyed. Rio asked around for her son as Jeff chatted with some colleagues. Suddenly, an auntie shoved a mic into Mrs. Morales’s hand, drawing everybody’s attention to her by clinking her glass. Jeff looked away in what could only be described as complete horror.

"Um, hi…"

You grinned as she continued with embarrassing stories about her husband, from little anecdotes from when they were dating to how he was almost 10lbs as a baby. It was then that Mr. Morales jumped in, quickly taking the mic away from her and giving his own speech.

"—And to my son…"

You grimaced as he raised his cup, looking around for someone who wasn’t there. The two of you met eyes instead, and you shook your head to tell him he hadn’t showed with an apologetic look. He turned to his wife, only for her to do the same. He cleared his throat before continuing.

"…The reason I do any of this in the first place. So.. I love you Miles."

Afterwards, the DJ put the records on again. People are talking, laughing, congratulating, creating a warm, buzzing atmosphere. You’re dragged away by a few little kids to play with them over by a small cluster of barrels, which they’ve decided is their ‘lair’. You play make believe with them for a little while as their parents stand a bit away with your own dad, occasionally glancing over at you to make sure the kids are behaving.

It’s then that Miles finally shows up, pushing the door open with two boxes in his arms. You follow him through your peripheral vision as he tries to avoid his parents, ultimately failing. You’re not sure what they’re saying, but it doesn’t seem to be going that well. He shows them the contents of his boxes, which doesn’t seem to impress them too much.

After a couple more words, Mr. Morales raises his voice, the DJ trying to divert people’s attention away by upping the volume but ultimately giving up.

"What do you got to tell me so bad?"

"You know what? Never mind."

Miles walked away, pulling his hood up as his dad yelled after him about him being grounded for two months. Must’ve been really bad, huh?

You waited for the music to come back on before you made your way to the exit, ruffling one of the little kids’ hair as he skittered away with his sister. You’re just going to check on him for a minute, just to see if he’s okay. You can do that… right? I mean sure, it might be awkward since things had ended like that last night, but still.

No one else was going to.

You let yourself into the flat once again, approaching Mile’s room with soft footsteps. You’re just outside the door when—

"Are these your drawings?"

You stop dead in your tracks. Your heart freezes right along with you. For a moment, you felt like a deer in headlights.

A feeling crawls its way under your skin, cold and slippery. You don’t know how you know, but you’re absolutely positive.

"Missed you too."

Gwen Stacy.

-

You’re on your way home, your hands rubbing up and down your arms to try to warm yourself up during the walk. You lived a little while away from Miles’s place, but it’s nothing you can’t walk.

You’d left the jacket on the Morales’ couch, turning on your heel and leaving the moment you heard her voice.

Damn it.

When had she gotten back? How had she gotten back? What was Miles’s reaction?

What were they doing now?

…Did you really want to know?

As your brain clouded over with questions, you took a wrong turn. Maybe two. Or three. Honestly, you didn’t know. Once you realized that this definitely wasn’t your neighborhood, you stopped yourself mid-step, looking around to see if anything was familiar at all.

Your eyes settled on a building, as there really wasn’t anything other than that around here other than some roads and bridges. One of the windows were glowing.

Then the whole structure began to rumble.

The ground beneath your feet started to turn… black…?

Wha—

-

You fell.

Not for too long, but you did.

You dropped around six feet onto hard concrete, twisting your ankle in the process. You cried out in pain and surprise.

"What the—?"

"Y/n?"

You looked up at that. You knew that voice.

Except, you didn’t.

The first thing you noticed is that this definitely was not the place you were in before. This place was more narrow, more dark. Light rain pattered on your skin as your hands supported your sitting position, wondering what the hell was going on.

The person who’d said your name was at the entrance to the alley you’d been.. teleported? to.

They took hesitant steps over to you, and, for some reason, you didn’t feel scared that this complete stranger had cornered you in a place you’d never even seen before.

Maybe the voice is what made you think it was alright.

Or maybe it was his face, which made your heart stop its primary function for the second time today.

"Miles?"

But he wasn’t Miles. At least.. not your Miles. This one was skinnier, just a little shorter. His accent had more of a Spanish touch to it and, most of all, his hair was braided into two sections that reached just below his shoulders.

No. He was very much not your Miles Morales.

Nevertheless, you knew he wouldn’t hurt you. There was something in his eyes — regret? Happiness? Sadness? Anger? Confusion? Probably all of the above.

He got closer, and closer, and closer. Once he reached where you were half-laying, he crouched down and tilted his umbrella until it sheltered your body more than his.

"…Are you hurt?" He asked, giving you a once-over. You just nodded, still putting all the pieces together.

Had you—

Did you—?

The boy in front of you studied your face for a little while, but then ultimately shook his head and shrugged off his jacket, handing it over to you.

"Come on. It’s cold outside."

[skruttet]

What are your thoughts on Moominvalley's comet special?

I talked a little about it in this other ask response, but overall I was disappointed. I think it's quite telling that the part of it that made me the most emotional was the opening credits 😅

Someone else said it was "underwhelming" and I think that's a good descriptor for it. The rest of the season as a whole already didn't really feel final enough to me, and you'd expect the finale to make up for that and give you that big feeling of wrapping up the whole series in a satisfying way, but it just didn't hit that mark for me.

The actual journey in the first half just wasn't as epic and exciting as I was hoping it'd be, and I think that's partially due to them using elements from Comet in previous episodes so they didn't wanna reuse them again, like the stilts (though surely they could've brought them back...). The cave Moomintroll and Snufkin end up in also feels like a missed opportunity - it's such a beautiful setting, but all they do there is panic, then see the Hemulen, then he leads them out. Idk what exactly they could've done instead, but surely there was something interesting the writers could've come up with to utilise that space more.

The way Snufkin brought up the sun oil was so awkward and forced; I know it was to establish it so that Sniff could have his whole stinky salesman arc in the latter half, but it's really weird how he explains its origin to his friends again even though all of them apart from Snork were there in Fire Spirit! Speaking of, that was a real step down for Sniff, and I would've preferred him to have an arc surrounding the kitten instead. Maybe he spends the time trying to gain its trust or something, and then at the end, finally manages to do so and rescues it to bring it back to the cave.

And speaking of the cave, I didn't like that change, either (honestly I just think I disliked most of the changes they made from the novel tbh lol. like I get they don't just wanna rehash it and want this to be new and original to an extent, but sometimes that can go too far, or just in the wrong direction). It's just really stupid for them to be like "we need to face our fear and face the comet!" it's a COMET! It's not a mysterious noise you hear in the middle of the night that you can investigate, it's a big hot rock that'll kill you all!! And then Groke moves towards it, and ~something~ happens, but this is a family show so they have her moan again at the end to show she's still alive and I love Jack but his delivery of "I'm so relieved" is so weirdly flat that it doesn't help how awkward and unnatural this ending is lmao.

Now this is more of a personal gripe, but I don't like how Snufkin is positioned at the end. When they're facing the Groke, he's right next to Moomintroll, which I like (and also brings to mind Night of the Groke when they faced her together), but then after the white flash, he's not only nowhere near Moomintroll, but not even near their friends? And he walks away WITH THE POLICE INSPECTOR?! Like thank god Joxter doesn't know he's his dad he'd have a heart attack if he found out his son was so chummy with the cops smh. You could maybe argue this isn't even just a personal complaint, and that Snufkin has objectively been one of Moomintroll's most important relationships in this series, so for them to not have some kind of moment or interaction at the end feels wrong.

Something I was going to discuss in that other ask reply but I ultimately deleted because I couldn't find the words at the time was Little My's characterisation. This season in particular made me feel as though she's so, like, mad all the time. And I understand that anger is her thing, but it's usually a cheery kind of angry, you know? But in this series she sometimes just seems so frustrated and upset and although I like that it explores the more emotionally dramatic side of her, I was hoping that by this final season at least she'd be in a more comfortable and happy place. But in this Comet special she's so exasperated and moody with Moominpappa and I wish they just made it feel more like daughter-light-heartedly-poking-fun-at-her-dad, I guess?

Snork is interesting in this special because he plays quite a big role in it, but I also feel so sorry for him cause he's always getting cut off or used by Pappa and Sniff who don't properly listen to him and I just want to give him a big (figurative bc he hates hugs) hug my poor smart boy let him infodump. There's also a moment where he says "I can explain-" and his sister says "Thanks, Snork, but we really need to carry on!" which is so obviously the writers trying to squeeze in Snorkmaiden's characterisation from the book where she's practical in the face of her brother's long-winded meetings, and is a great example of the feminism of her character there, but it just doesn't quite work the same here. Once again just not as natural as it should feel.

On a positive note, I LOVED the look of the comet itself - every shot of it looked so cool and it changed the lighting of the valley in a fun and interesting way. I also liked how Jarmo and Samuli gave the score of the episode a funky sci-fi sound, which helped set it apart as something special for the series. And despite all my negatives, it's still entertaining! It's enjoyable to watch! Just, for someone who had expectations based on the whole series and the novel, underwhelming.

[larcenywrites]

Could you write about how Tony is with a younger gf that's like half his age? And maybe a lot more energetic than him if you know what I mean 🤭 I understand if age gaps make you uncomfortable and you don’t want to write it though!

I’m into age gaps given the right circumstances, and I completely understand the appeal! I wasn’t quite sure what to write since it’s not something I really put much thought into anyway, but I think it turned out okay and pretty cute :)

Warnings: 18+ for sexual references and themes | mentions of Dom/sub stuff | age gap obviously | like two feminine/she/her pronouns used

💠 Tony doesn't particularly mind either way that his s/o is (a lot) younger than him, but admittedly, he didn't expect that he'd end up with someone younger! He figured he'd prefer someone closer to his age, with whom he could share similar experiences of life...

💠 But the world works in mysterious ways! And it definitely works in mysterious ways when you find yourself in a loving relationship with Earth's grumpiest Avenger! Well... one of Earth's grumpiest Avengers 🤭

💠 It's partly his older age and partly his stressful job that has him tired and irritable, but lucky for him, you found this grumpy old man sweet and handsome 🥰

💠 And now he’s your grumpy old man 🥰

💠 He’s always had a thing for being the more dominant one. He wants to be bigger and stronger, the protector and provider, and his older age helps play into that!

💠 He definitely loves to spoil you! Anything you want!! He just loves spending money on his lovers, but in a way, he’s kinda showing off 🤭 not necessarily to you, but to prove that him being older still has its advantages 😉 a much younger man probably couldn’t treat you this well 💅

💠However… there’s often a difference between how much a person in their early 20s works and how much a person in their 40s works. You may not be used to your boyfriend working like 8-9 hours a day nearly every day! It might be quite the learning curve not having him around as often as you’d be used to :( Tony does feel pretty bad about it, he can remember being much more free and clingy too, so he cuts you some slack when you wanna bother him at work or in the lab 😉🩵

💠 He loves when he can teach you new things! He has a soft spot for it 🥰 even if it’s just the cleanest way to separate the egg yolk or just, like, how to do taxes, he enjoys being helpful and teaching you new things :) it’s cute tbh 🥰

💠 And he also loves getting to watch you practice things and keep learning things!! Are you cooking a ton of new things every day? Awesome! Even if it’s the same stuff or doesn’t always turn out good!! If you’re a college student, he’ll adore watching you work and read!

💠 You’re also from a whole different generation than him, so you’ve probably got a few things to teach him, too 😌💅 From new music to social media! While he’s still not really into the latter, he does enjoy all kinds of music!

💠But because you’re from different generations, his gestures may feel a bit more… old fashioned? But they’re classy! Always bringing flowers, always kissing your hand, always offering his arm for you to hold onto on a walk, offering his coat— it’s enough to make you feel like royalty honestly 🥰

💠 Though, it may feel a bit weird at first hanging out with his little social circle? They’re pretty much all Tony’s age, so you may feel a little out of place. Rhodey is actually quite welcoming though! Well, you weren’t there when he teased Tony about it a little 😅 but it wasn’t aimed at you! Honesty he was just happy to see his friend going out again :) in fact, Rhodey is probably the first person you’ll meet! After all, Tony’s parents aren’t around, and there’s no one else quite so important and close to him 🥲

💠 But don’t worry, Tony feels just as awkward with your similarly-aged friends 😅 and he was very nervous to meet your friends and/or family! Shit, he’s likely the same age as your parents 😭 while that might make things a little awkward as well… it’s actually pretty nice that they can share and bond over their very similar experiences and childhoods!

💠 Sometimes he wonders what his parents would think… but he’s pretty sure his dad was older, too! He likes to talk about them a little bit, and about his younger years. It probably kinda reminds you of how your own parents talk about how they grew up and how different it was from how you did, but it’s much more cute to hear Tony talk about it 😘

💠 Obviously loves to be called Daddy, but the age gap really has it driving him up the wall 😈 it's an authority thing, a power thing, and definitely a Dom thing 😏 and plus, you’re probably more, uh, innocent than he is 😏

💠 Bunny, princess, little deer, sweetie— he has all sorts of pet names to remind you of not just the age gap, but the gap in your power dynamic, too 🥴

💠 He definitely also loves teaching you new things in the bedroom 😈 there’s gotta be something you haven’t done yet if you have been sexually active before, and he’ll be sure to figure it out and teach you right 😌😉

💠 But he is still older, probably a lot older, and that does come with some… differences. Sure, he can go for a while, but once he cums a time or two 😮‍💨 he’s down for the count! So when you still want to go for another round, he’ll probably just have to hype you up while you touch yourself, or you’ll just have to settle for his hand 😅 it is kinda cute, the way you can tire him out 🤭 and he does find your high sex drive pretty hot 😘 he can go again as long as you can wait like an hour or two! The cuddles are great, though, if you do fall asleep 🥰

💠 He calls you the Energizer Bunny since you can go for so long 🤧 but he can remember being like that, too, when he was younger 🥴

💠Sometimes he (maybe a bit sad or insecure) jokes about if only you’d been able to meet him when he was younger, but give him a little kiss and remind him how glad you are to have met him now 🥰🥰🥰🥰

💠 He never thought he’d be insecure about his age, but… he is a little :( especially if you do comment on a picture of a younger him about how hot he was 😔 young age had him so naturally sculpted and more physically inclined. He was very pretty, huh! And while he’s obviously still strong, he’s got a little bit of tummy, and scarring, and crinkles in the corners of his eyes— a shame you didn’t get to see him back then!

💠 “You’re so silly, Tony~” you scold lovingly, interrupting his reminiscing of the past. You enjoy hearing his stories, but not when he starts to beat himself up! Another quick kiss shuts him up 🥰 And eventually he stops worrying so much about it 🩵

💠 But… Tony Stark dating someone younger? Possibly someone even like- half his age or more? It’s bound to gain traction in social media. Of course, some are positive, some are not, but either way, he really doesn’t want to deal with it :/ and he really doesn’t want you to deal with it :( and it kinda makes him feel worse that you have to :(

💠 But he’s gotta admit: your brighter mood and energy has made him happier, even at work! He wants to do stuff again! Like take you to his favorite cities and go on picnics and to the aquarium! Like the dates he took plenty of exes on when he was your age and loved 🥲 sometimes he even comments about how you make him feel young again 🥰

💠 And when he says stuff like that, you’re probably like “🙄 You sound old when you say stuff like that 🤭” but without skipping a beat, he makes sure to correct you.

💠 “I am old 🤨.”

[seonghwacore]

let me cook. (an unexpectedly thanksgiving full course)

tagging @ye-xiu and @lavandulacosmos idk if you wanna read my brainrot but pls give it a chance im coping so bad 😭

i've read several theories surrounding k.will's mv, which i don't like the ending at all fck u screenwriter. but i noticed this one so let me, boil it to perfection.

my theory abt the wristwatch in "no sad song for my broken heart" is more simple yet symbolic. it didn't imply time travel or a scifi plot but more of the story's timeline? i assume, the wristwatch in the mv wasn't functioning as an individual's possession but more like a way to tell us when their time stopped. like, how our life stopped in 2019 for some of us?

in the beginning of the mv, the scene showed a broken wristwatch with the year function set to number "12" and the hands pointing to "10:11". the hand was clearly inguk's.

while i know this is please, don't mv release date, as the please don't mv enjoyers, i immediately understood that this was when inguk's time stopped. when jaehyun married dasom in the mv, he knew there'd be no more chance for him to pursue jaehyun or even simply, to tell him his true feelings. he drove away silently back then, not saying a word. this is why his time stopped in 2012.

meanwhile, at the end of the mv, the scene showed that the wristwatch was perfectly fine, no scratch, was brand new, and was encircling jaehyun's wrist instead. the year was "24" and the watch's hands were pointing at 06:20. WHICH WAS, YESTERDAY IN MY TIME OR STILL TODAY IN THE OTHER PART OF THE WORLD.

again, that was a symbol to the mv's release date. BUT WHOSE TIME ALSO ENDED THAT DAY?

HIM.

"then it's just symbolizing inguk's end of time then 🤨" well, whose hand was that wristwatch on? it's on jaehyun's wrist. following the logic from the first scene, then it's most possible that the wristwatch symbolized jaehyun's "time". tragically, jaehyun seemed to understand his feelings towards the other man very much later. he had no time to fully develop and understand his feelings towards inguk and of course, a chance to be with him.

(gahd i planned to stop here but i was seeing everything suddenly)

the row of happy scenes, to me, was more like his delusion and regrets. things he could and would do if only inguk reconnected with him. im not sure tho how he finally realized his feelings but MAYBE, this was the reason of his "mv divorce". maybe, they were still in contact but was obviously limited. in another universe, we'd get the answer, guys.

exhibit #1: he would stay connected with inguk, shown by this exchanging number scene. literally fck u scriptwriters for making grown ass dude crying

maybe they were just, like, linked in acquaintances just sent e/o happy birthday or congratulate each other for promotions asjdalsd

exhibit #2: he'd want to update him that he's already divorced.

LOOK AT BRO'S SMILE??????? in jaehyun's mind, if he announced the news to inguk, he would've gone full smile like that. and he wanted to see that.

exhibit #3: he'd reconcile, have a hearty conversation with inguk over drinks, reliving their fun bachelor nights and obviously, take care of him.

(maybe this was how inguk died???)

now, this is a bit hard but, exhibit #4: he imagined that they'd go into this awkward, pining moments, wondering if inguk would still have a crush on him.

this part was actually confusing because he opened his eyes, as if he knew something. but what did he know? what did he expect from inguk? or did he begin to realize that this was all just his delusion?

NOW. this is going a bit longer than i thought i didn't mean to do a full analysis gosh but this is even crazier to think about. when inguk said his line, about saying things he couldn't say and whether he could hug him just once. this line is weird tbh but eventually makes sense.

we backtrack to these scenes first.

after getting his phone, jaehyun's calling him to make sure it's the correct number. but why inguk seemed... rather worried? again, following my logic with the wristwatch, the phone was just a symbol. jaehyun was holding onto inguk AND his soul. then, how does this relate to inguk's worried face?

we're entering the afterlife realm.

starting from this scene. there's a belief that butterfly in association with death is a messenger from the passing loved ones. in some k-dramas, noticeably "goblin", butterfly represented gods or the supreme being. the butterfly in this scene symbolized that inguk already passed away. it's his time to go.

however, jaehyun "found" him and even asked for his number. so, when the call "connected" it meant jaehyun had yet, once again, clung on his memories and soul. in some cultures, and again there's a k-drama reference that's "sell your haunted house", sometimes the family of the dying person will be asked to let the person go. in the sell your haunted house, hong jia's refusal to let go of her trauma locked her mother's powerful ghost in her house.

guess who's locked in their "house" as well?

and he's wearing white outfit as well, which is often believed to be your afterlife mandatory outfit color. then inguk "called" jaehyun, in a hope, he could wake jaehyun up and let him go. so, the sequence of happiness began.

so, inguk's expression was rather worried when jaehyun called him instead of overjoyed. because he didn't want jaehyun to be stuck in his regrets and delusion.

now, back to this scene.

this was probably inguk's last straw. the scene reminded me of "it's okay it's love" where jo insung gave do kyungsoo's shoes. the act was done to let go of his hallucination from his childhood trauma.

inguk, telling jaehyun how he actually felt and did it through a physical hug, was like an act of letting go. and he hoped that jaehyun's mind would be more at ease now that jaehyun had known his feelings and jaehyun had understood HIS OWN feelings. he hoped that the hug could finally calm jaehyun's storm so jaehyun could be at peace with his own regrets.

then, inguk proceeded to leave because he had to. leave to the afterlife. but after fighting his own struggle, jaehyun called him again. shouted even.

HE RUSHED BACK but jaehyun was stupefied. and the scene later showed that jaehyun was alone in the tunnel.

my big assumption was inguk rushing back to him was also jaehyun's desired response, that inguk would come back to him every time he called. he did, but i think, inguk's death was related to the tunnel or the train. so, when inguk rushed back to him, the train passed by above him with the alarm sound, and jaehyun woke up from his hallucination alone.

a wilder theory is the train was a symbol that it's time for inguk to really go. it served as a "transportation" to the afterlife. that's why inguk wasn't seen anymore after that.

the rest is history.

kidding, we still have this. this time, the scene showed that jaehyun didn't call inguk.

the road, the terrain, elevating to a certain degree, somehow looked like as if he's going to a higher place. and he's not stopping. he kept going, not turning back. so, that's when jaehyun realized, he really needed to let inguk go and rest in peace.

my madness shall end here.

[doloresdisparue]

Hey I'm sure that you have gotten this ask many times before but I can't seem to find them so... Do you have any book recommendations of stories that are written in Dolores perspective's? I have been looking in many sites but I can't seem to find them. I know Li's diary exists but as far as I know, that's not a great adaptation at all (still in my to-read list).

Some books that I've seen that look like what I'm looking for don't mention their authors so finding them online is really hard.

Thank you!

(also, if you happen to have any link or library resource as to where to find the books I'd be eternally grateful but of course that isn't necessary)

Okay so, this is awkward lmao. I just sent you that ask and THE MOMENT AFTER I DID I found your list of recommendations of lolita's retellings so... Lmao

Do not worry at all haha, I'm happy to answer this question a couple more times for people who are interested but don't want to go digging through my blog! I'm aware of maybe 9 retellings/riffs on the story and out of those I'd rank the Dolly POV books as follows:

Lolita Child - Kyleigh Archer (this was written when the author was a teen herself so the prose is not polished and it is self published so there are a few spelling errors but it has the most heart and faithfulness to the original imo) | You can buy this on Amazon which I normally wouldn't recommend but due to it being self published there's no other way and all the profits are donated to an organisation that helps sexually abused girls.

Gemma - Meg Tilly (this has notable differences from Lolita, especially in the second half but the most heartrending child POV I've ever read, the only book I had to ever take breaks from because it made me nauseous. WARNING that unlike Lolita this one is graphic.) | As Meg Tilly is an oscar nominated actress you should be able to order this from your local indie bookstore or possibly library. Can't give more specific recs because I don't know about other countries library setup but I know in the US there's a library app for ebooks and audiobooks. I recommend the audiobook here if you can stomach it. Meg Tilly does a horrifically good child voice.

Molly - Nancy J. Jones (this alternates between Dolly diary POV and her childhood best friend reading her diary and reacting). | I believe there are some illegal(?) ebooks floating around but I had to order the physical copy from a thrifted bookstore on another continent via Amazon. Definitely no audiobook of this and I believe it is out of print but the ebook wasn't too hard to find.

Roger Fishbite - Emily Prager (set in the 90s instead of the 50s, inverts a lot of stuff from the original in intelligent and heartbreaking ways, unfortunately has a weird dose of anti asian racism on the side for no reason) | I got mine at a second hand bookstore in Dublin, you should be able to still order this from bookshops or online and there are probably ebooks. It's a mainstream published book so all the usual avenues.

Lo - Norma Davison (I respect the intention and that this book clearly sides with Lo and condemns Humbert but it is also terribly written and totally breaks with canon while being incredibly graphic. Humbert has a weird pee fetish and they both die of AIDS despite this book ostensibly still being set in the 50s. Do not recommend to be honest) | There is an illegal ebook floating around and you can order a physical copy on Amazon. It is also self published.

Literally anything on AO3 probably

Lo's Diary - Pia Pera (Genuinely godawful and evil. Lo is a sadist who tortures her hamster to death, spews racial slurs at the maid and is squarely made out to be seducer. She hates adult women possibly more than Humbert in the original. DEEPLY strange and offputting you can't even read it for a laugh.) | Don't even try buying this tbh. Even Peras publisher hated her so much they compared her to Hitler.

Honorable mentions:

Journal de L.: (1947-1952) - Christophe Tison (I have not read this as it is only available in French and Chezch but I have heard good things about it. Only one I know of written by a male CSA survivor and I do want to read it even though my French is more than rusty.) | A very recent release you should be easily able to order this from any bookstore that carries international releases or like on ebay.

Darling River: Doloresvariationen - Sara Stridsberg (I have not read this. It is available in a couple of languages but not English. I haven't heard anything about it and the summary makes me squint suspiciously but I do want to try to read it at some point)

Poems for men who dream of Lolita - Kim Morrissey (I have not read this. As the title implies this is a poetry collection. As far as I know it's out of print and I have not found it online but if anyone has resources I would appreciate it)

My Dark Vanessa - Kate Elizabeth Russell (The core story of this book is very different despite also being about CSA but it grapples very tangibly with the impact the misinterpretation of Lolita has had on pop culture and young girls growing up in the shadow of it and the story itself about a woman coming to terms with her abuse years later is very touching.) | Mainstream release, easy to acquire probably even from your local library.

The Real Lolita - Sarah Weinmann (Nonfiction book about the Sally Horner case. Very thoroughly researched) | Mainstream release, I found mine at a bookstore with a big nonfiction section, you can probably order it or find an ebook easily.

I have a lot more recommendations for books that remind me of Lolita, use similar techniques or tackle CSA in interesting ways but in terms of Lolita adjacent books this is my list for now. Pia Pera I will see you in hell.

[4-linz]

Oops

Pairing: wooyoung x y/n

Genre: fluff, chaotic fluff lol

Warnings: some cursing(I gotta stay minimal with it tho bc I write these on my school comp 😭) , wooyoung is kinda panicking lol, wooyoung is called an attention whore but in a good way pls dont hate me 😭 ,reader is called ning like 3 times , grammar might not be correct I'm tired lol, I think that's it

Summary: wooyoung is confused on how you got into his heart, he never told anyone about his mental list he made, not even san so that should say something, so how did you do it? Was its on purpose to mess with him? Or on accident

Wc. 1.69k

A/n I wanted to write and I had just reread @yuyusuyu princess chronicles and I wanted to do something similar with wooyoung :) pls I'm dieing I h8 using ppls ideas but I'm in writers block and I need to write rn 😭 so creds to @yuyusuyu for the idea lol I hope this is good cuz I luv her work and I don't wanna ruin her reputation lol I also have a feeling this is gonna be a short fic bc again I'm in writers block and that's all i can take rn lolz

Wooyoung never thought he could find a relationship that was near the thing he and san had going on (even san doesnt know whats happening tbh), but here we are, you slowly winning over his heart. How? He doesn't know. He has a very very very very very- i can keep going but what i mean is he has a very secret procedure that even san doesnt know about, but it's a way you can take over his love life, so you somehow slowly completing the 5 steps was very concerning.

Step 1. Treat him like royalty

Well you don't have to bow down and worship him but you just have to treat him him like the mona lisa, praise him- and maybe worship him, he likes to be praised and feel noticed-attention whore is his middle name after all- so when you walk into the room with him and everyone else and you notice him first and COMPLIMENT HIM AND ONLY HIM?!?! He was feeling a little lightheaded, “ oh hi woo! I like your hair, it looks different! In a good way of course-” you said slightly rambling at the end “ oh- um yea… i um-” he stumbled out “ i uh WASHED IT, yea, yea i washed it." He said trying to redeem himself and act cool because seonghwa was looking at him weird. “ for once you washed it” san said scoffing, without him knowing- or did he? San had saved him from an awkward situation “HEY i do wash my hair thank you very much” he said huffing, pouting but quickly opening his eyes when he heard you laugh.

Step 2. Find him funny

(or just try to laugh at his ridiculous jokes)

The sound of your laughter filled his dorm, san had left to go out with Seonghwa, leaving him alone and so of course he invited you just so he could hang out with his now crush for a movie night!! Why else would he invite you over…?He found himself in a trance listening to your laughs, they sounded like music to his ears, literally he was listening to the rhythm in your laughs and thought they sounded so much like you, the beat matched your personality. ‘ wooyoung stop that's weird, and nothing like you.’ he said when he came out of his little bubble when ever he heard your voice tinted with worry as your friend was looking at you with an unreadable expression on his face and was very silent, which was very concerning given its wooyoung. The look of worry on your face made his heart flutter, where you really worried for him…? ‘ shit im fucked’ he thought

Stept 3. Worry/care for him

“ wooyoung? Are you in there?” your voice sounding small compared to the yelp wooyoung let out upon hearing your voice in his dorm.” OW SHIT, ning is that you?!” he yelped, he had hurt his leg and couldn't attend practice, him not being there worried you given he had always been there, so you went to his dorm. “Woo what were you thinking laying on the edge of the couch,be careful you could hurt yourself more if you do that?!” You said scolding him lightly,the worry in your face very clear,” you didn't hurt yourself more did you?, here let me get you some food so you don't have to walk.” wooyoung hoped you didn't notice the slight blush on his face when you lifted his chin forcefully checking to see if he hurt his face during the fall. “ Goddammit, step 3 , 2 more to go and I'm done for..” he mumbled “ did you say something?” you said, peaking your head out of the other room. “ OH-UM-NO '' he quickly said, hoping you don't suspect anything and hoping you truly had not heard anything he said.

Step 4. Being rough with him.

(do i really ahve to explain?)

Wooyoung's heart fluttered when you cupped his face and moved it left to right to see if he had hurt his face, he had fallen trying to learn how to skate. He had failed horribly but that's not what mattered right now, what mattered was you were holding his face. “ Wooyoung, I told you, you have to be more careful” you said with a slight pout, worried about your best friend. You had to put your whole body strength into helping him up because he was so zoned out all his body weight was on the floor. But the words that snapped him out of his little trance were enough to heal him right then and there “ when we get home do you wanna cuddle and watch a movie?”

Step 5. Physical affection.

“Ninggg hurry up and bring the popcorn” wooyoung shouted, he had been alone in his and sans dorn because apparently san couldn't deal with wooyoung's ramblings about you so he left with seonghwa, of well at least that means he can invite you over more right? Wrong, this is the first time in weeks he's invited you over because he couldn't muster up the courage to ask you.” I'm right here..?” you said laughing when he turned around and saw you, his eyes widened in amazement on how you could find that much popcorn in his house, where it came from? No idea he's been trying to find popcorn for a month and has found none so how did you find some? No clue, but he didn't really care as his heart picked up when you sat very close to him. Very close.and his heart picked up even more realizing you two were watching a scary movie. He could be your knight in shining armor and hold you close when you got scared. Well you ended up holding him like he's a baby but that didn't matter to him even though he's going to be very embarrassed later. What mattered right now to him was trying to calm his heart, from the jumpscares and the fact that you two were there cuddling?! Mostly the first option , but hey those things were scary, don't judge>:(

Another time he found himself in this situation was on his birthday, wooyoung and you tangled up in each other limbs, the others where getting the place ready so of course you offered to keep him busy while the others fixed up the dorm for him, so you invited him over, which he couldn't say no to you. He was laying on you the couch and you were running your hands through his hair, which in hindsight helped him alot with what he was going to ask you. You had single handedly finished all 5 steps without knowing? Or maybe you did know? He doesn't know but he needs to ask you about it. It's been eating him alive for the past week. He knows he shouldn't ask on his birthday because what if you say no? But he couldn't wait because, what if you say yes? No birthday present could top that. Here he goes, his heart racing he manages to strangle out a “ hey ning…? “ ew he thought, why did it sound like that, he was cringing until he heard you say back “ yes? Did you need something?” you smiling down at him calmed him down a lot more than he thought “ can i ask you something?” he took a deep breath “ of course, anything woo” you laid your phone down to put all attention on him, still playing with his hair. “ i um- do you um “ he stuttered “ dammit” he said sitting up “ is there something wrong wooyoung?” concern filling your face “ i like you. Like I ‘like like’ you.” he said getting it out there, but before you could say anything he continued “ and i was wondering if you wanted to go out with me sometime…?” he couldn't look you in the face because he felt like he would explode. For real he was holding his breath for so long he felt like he was going to burst. “ woo i-” you giggled and he turned around ready to be faced with rejection. “ of course i will” you cupped his face and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. He looked like a lost puppy, eyes wide and frozen in shock “ wait you- you like me to?” ugh he sounded like a 2nd grader finding out their crush likes them back. “ Of course I do woo, who wouldn't love you?” you giggled at the end. Just as wooyoung went to speak he got interrupted by your phone going off saying it was time to bring him back to the dorm for his surprise.

Hwa: hey were done over here if you wanna bring him back

You: okay! But warn san if he's coming back to stay with wooyoung lol

Hwa: oh good lord

Smiling at yourself you took him by the hand and told him you two where going back to his dorm for something.Lets just say he went back to the dorm holding your hand and he was the happiest birthday boy in the world. But wooyoung had one more question before he went back to the dorm "wait so did you know about the list or not?" He questioned you "what list?" You questioned back "wait so your telling me you completed a whole goddammit list without knowing it ever even existed?!" He squealed out "Oops" you shrugged and laughed

[princess-of-the-corner]

Fascinating on No Chloe AU.

It's probably because of There's More Magic Out There, but I'm picturing Sabrina falling in with Auroré and co. I do think the 2nd option is most likely. So maybe Auroré and Mirielle and whoever the hell their friends are do genuinely like Sabrina and are nice to her and treat her as an equal, but may not notice that she's spread too thin and taking on too much when she offers to "help" with their homework.

I did mean Kim replaces Chloe as Class Asshole, in that he is simply the most consistent problem because he's the jerk in their class. 100% agree that there are probably a lot of other bullies in the school that target similar people for similar reasons, they're just also not in class with those people all day.

While I do think Marinette probably still has the Ladybug, it's true that there's probably no Adrien as Chat without him going to public school. Not unless Fu meets him a different way that day. While there's a convincing argument that the Black Cat would probably be like Nino or somebody, I like the idea that Adrien met Fu some other way. He'd successfully snuck out to go and be a regular teenager for a day and had to give that up to help Fu. Instead of going to school, he was just, like, at a park or something.

This is interesting because it means that Ladybug and Chat now have the dynamic that they THINK they have in canon: that is, the two of them are strangers who get along too well and are slowly falling in love with each other. With a catch: no love square. It's possible Marinette could have another crush at the time (especially if we're using Derision), but I think it's just as likely and more entertaining if she doesn't.

But also if we're using Derision, then Marinette doesn't have crazy paranoia surrounding her crushes and behaves like a functional human being. I think she might behave more like a regular teenager in love, meaning she's willing to do some dumb and risky stuff. Like telling the person she's in love with and who regularly and openly confesses his feelings her identity.

Weirdly, I think it may be ADRIEN who's paranoid about exposing his identity for the same reasons he doesn't reveal personal details online. This is a shockingly similar situation, and he's comfortable with it and knows how to deal with it. I think he might wiffle-waffle a little before they do a reveal.

From there, you could go a couple different directions.

1) You have an early LadyNoir reveal that spirals into a "Marinette's quest to get Adrien friends" that probably spirals into an early Hawkmoth reveal.

2) Master Fu and Tikki successfully pressure Marinette into being paranoid and this cements Adrien's paranoia. So you have LadyNoir, but without the early reveal

3) Master Fu takes more of an interest in Adrien due to either the different circumstances he met him in or because he thinks Adrien is more likely to take his side RE: Identites. So you end out getting a reversal of their canon dynamics with Adrien wanting to keep things a secret and Marinette constantly wanting to do a reveal and/or get into a relationship.

Any of these options would also have the hurdle of: Adrien in a No Chloe AU is super awkward, has trouble expressing affection and sharing personal details, only has Felix for a phrame of reference for in person friends, and is essentially a lot closer to his PV self's personality. But less cold and more shy.

If we're not taking Derision, then Marinette's still probably weird about relationships, but Adrien is weird about them in turn and you end up with something similar to option 2 with more stalking. I feel like Adrien would find it similarly endearing as he does in canon, even if he shouldn't.

tbh I think we could still wind up with a Lovesquare via career paths like.

Marinette wants to be a designer and idolizes Gabriel. Gabe did that whole hat contest in Mr. Pigeon, which Mari won and so she got to come to the show and Adrien wore her hat. So they'd likely meet here and could start some kind of friendship.

Also one reason I can't take Derision into account is that Mari is only that level of obsessive nuts when it comes to Adrien. She doesn't have the same stalker behavior with Chat or Luka, just Adrien.

Either way they're both disasters.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

A while back, you made a comment--in passing, I think--that you were glad Jimin didn't diminish himself to make way for JK during their military training. I remembered it while I was watching AYS, and it's been haunting me ever since.

In the show, Jimin and JK are on an equal level--in their personal life. But in regards to their solo work, I could see how Jimin "made way" for JK. It occurs to me that he's always understood the BTS pecking order--JK is the Golden Maknae, the center, the most crucial member of the group. It's not that Jimin doesn't value himself, mind you, or have confidence in his musical journey, but he seems to accept that JK comes first. And JK accepts it, too.

He asks about JK's performance and work. JK does not reciprocate.

He is constantly singing JK's songs--even dancing to entertain him. JK does not reciprocate.

Does JK really not like LC? He seems surprised that it is still a hit. Jimin murmurs fondly, "it's a good song." JK says nothing.

Jimin talks about how much he admires "Hate You." He expresses a wish that he could write something like that someday. Again, JK says nothing. I don't think he likes to talk about Jimin as a songwriter.

JK does seem to like SMF, pt2. So that's something.

We see some of the intense musical discussions Jimin referenced with RM in episode 1. How helpful is it when your advice is "you should have done it this way" after the thing is already finished? Especially when your "expert friend" had an opportunity to weigh in before and didn't? Jimin laughs it off, but that is such a dick move on JK's part.

Of course, we don't know what conversations were edited out. We don't know if there was some sort of agreement not to talk about their music or careers or management. Maybe they wanted to focus on the cute and caring and cuddly parts of their relationship--the parts where Jimin sometimes take precedence over JK. Tbh, I can appreciate those parts, too, so maybe I'm just hypersensitive about Jimin and his career.

Why does the whole group seem perfectly fine with Jungkook getting the white glove service in Chapter 2? Have they always been expecting it?

Anon, I only watched the first episode of AYS and half of the second one. I quit after that conversation where JK was talking about recording songs written by others and how he was leaning into his talent and his voice. Did I sum up that conversation correctly? After his comment, Jimin quietly said he likes recording songs written by others, but he also likes writing his own music, too. The whole conversation felt awkward as hell, but also one of the most sincere that I've seen from the show (I've seen lots of snippets).

I wonder if Jungkook felt embarrassed about not writing his own songs? If he was online as much as we think he was, he probably saw comments from fans expressing their disappointment in his song choices. Did he feel ashamed of all the advantages he was given over Jimin (the entire group, actually)? The whole "talent" and "voice" thing felt like a coping mechanism. He was definitely weird about Jimin's music throughout the series. Was he jealous? Of course, he may have said lovely things to Jimin that got edited out, just as you said. The company certainly has an agenda of pushing JK's music over Jimin's. I'd love a breakdown of how many minutes of background music JK got vs. Jimin. Meanwhile, the good cheerleader was singing JK's songs and doing his choreos throughout the series without even a hint of jealousy.

I feel like Jimin and Jungkook look out for each other and take care of each other in certain ways - cooking, complimenting, watching the same entertainment content, teasing each other. I think their friendship eases some of the burdens they're both under as famous idols. Talk about living in a gilded cage! Jungkook comes across as quite immature/childish though. It takes real confidence to be able to compliment others with sincerity. Is JK there yet, or does he harbor some jealousy?

FYI, this moment you included in your list really stood out to me, too:

Jimin talks about how much he admires "Hate You." He expresses a wish that he could write something like that someday. Again, JK says nothing. I don't think he likes to talk about Jimin as a songwriter.

Jimin is in a completely different headspace than JK. He's aiming to be more than just a singer, for sure. His interest in that song wasn't really about it being JK's recording, but about the crafting of the song itself. Keep going Jimin!

I've said this to others in private, but let's remember Jimin has many friends, and those who are in the public eye seem kind. We know he travels with these friends. We know he eats, drinks and goes to events with these friends. He truly seems happy when he's with these people. I trust Jimin has people in his life who match his emotional intelligence and provide him with support.

[cosmiclion]

If you thought I couldn't outdo myself more with the fluff for this AU then you haven't seen my true power yet 😈

I don't know if I got OCiel's bangs right but, realistically speaking, human hair never stays in the same place, that's how physics works so whatever lmao.

Anyway, trying to write a Black Butler AU with some fluff where Sebastian and Ciel have a parent-child like relationship WHILE keeping them in-character (Sebas more than Ciel tbh) and still basing it on canon material but making changes and making said changes make sense requires a bit of work ngl.

I mean, I know it's just a project I'm doing for fun and technically there's nothing stopping me from going nuts and making them completely OOC and disregarding canon at all, but I feel then it'd become a separate story with new, original characters who simply happen to be inspired by Kuro (which is also okay, and who knows, maybe in the future I'll repurpose the whole thing to create my own Kuro-inspired original story, even if I don't think I'll ever fully lose interest in Kuro, this cursed series has me in a chokehold lmao). Full ramble under the cut.

Sebastian is the hardest one to write, though I think I'm finally more or less figuring it out. I didn’t want to write him as suddenly learning to love the way humans do thanks to the power of cute children or something, as it just didn't feel natural (or I couldn't personally make it feel natural, I know other people have managed to write that concept very well). What I have so far is that when he does act nurturing he’s simply imitating the behavior of human parents he has observed, but he doesn’t love the kid the same way humans do because he literally doesn’t have that ability. BUT that doesn’t mean he feels nothing at all and that it doesn’t mean anything to Ciel, after all this weird creature is the one who saved his life and raised him with care and patience. The closest comparison I can think of is the relationship between people and “unusual” pets like reptiles, amphibians, insects, etc. We know they can’t love us the way other people (or even other mammals) would but that doesn’t make our bond any less significant! Some bits of canon material also come in handy here, for example I based the fact that familiar Sebas finds Ciel adorable as a kitten on the canon fact that he likes squishing his cheeks because they remind him of a cat's paws 😂 Just know he's an awkward demon who doesn't know how to human but is doing his best 🥺

I think in Ciel’s case I have more freedom since he is, after all, human, and a human’s personality is strongly shaped by their environment and life experiences. Like, what exactly counts as making a character OOC? Sure, I can agree that in a fanwork set in the exact same universe with the exact same events as in canon there’s some things a character would never say or do, but I think AUs were created as a way to explore what-if scenarios. What if this character had been raised by different people? What if they had grown up in a different place? What if this or that event hadn’t happened or had gone differently? Tbh I think it’s just fun to explore endless possibilities, it’s maybe a form of character analysis in some way. And if we think about it, canonverse Ciel was originally sweet, shy and affectionate, and if he’s the complete opposite now it’s only because he went through an utterly horrific and traumatic event that forced him to grow up before his time and toughen himself up because it left him with little to no support system, on top of having to be hyper vigilant because the only thing that "saved" him from that is a literal demon who wants his soul and is haunting him.

So I just wanted to create this alternative timeline where maybe things aren’t as terrible, or they start out as terrible but then some good things come from the most unexpected sources. Ciel is five years younger and thus has more time to process everything and try to heal as he grows up. Sebas isn’t entirely a bastard and willingly does nice things for the child, even if he still doesn’t understand human needs, and while he stills views him as a potential meal (at least at the beginning) he's actually respectful. There’s another demon who understands humans all too well and is happy to lend a hand. His friends and the relatives he has left are more involved in his life. So Ciel more or less has a support system now, albeit a weird dysfunctional one, and doesn’t entirely lose his sweetness (also like... he's 5/6 at the beginning of the story, we really can't expect a preschooler to be an edgy emo who craves violence and revenge ☠️). I imagine he grows up to be just as calculating and cunning as canonverse Ciel, maybe even just as ruthless in his job because it’s a requirement, and is still pretty much a little shit, but this Ciel is not as cold and undemonstrative. He’s still very much an introvert who prefers to be left alone, but he smiles (as in genuinely smile) more often and it’s a little easier for him to express emotions and feelings (more through actions than words, but still meaningful). Hell he may allow himself to be playful and silly sometimes if he’s in the moment.

And if it wasn’t clear from the picture, little Ciel ADORES Sebastian. Sure he's (understandably) a bit skittish around him at first, but once they bond he comes to fully view him as a parental figure. Yes, he's hurt, sad and traumatized, but he's still a resilient little kid, and with enough kindness Sebas can coax his old self to come out of his shell, and until the kid becomes more independent they're like a mama duck and her lil duckling. Their constant banter and bickering when he's older is more a teens being teens thing than anything.

[everythingheard]

roleplay history

the rules are simple! post characters you’d like to roleplay as, have roleplayed as, and might bring back. then tag people to do the same. please repost, don’t reblog!

current

i'm just going to list a few of my current muses on this blog that i'd love to have more interactions for —

b.ernie h.ayes — m.onsterverse ( he's such a tragic character, very much a "cassandra figure" exiled for predicting the truth and rarely given his due, and i love writing him and his weirdness whenever i get the chance. this fandom is dead af, at least as far as rp is concerned, so i'd love to try tossing him into some aus if anyone was game. also, someone give me a trapper to write him with, i'm begging you; i do also write trapper myself lmao so if you'd want to swap roles and try your hand at bernie, i'd be down, it's always great to see bernie get more love. )

clemens — d.racula/last voyage of the d.emeter ( i love him so much, and i have so many ideas. he starts hunting vampires in 1897 in london after encountering d.racula at sea, and i'd love for him to meet other kinds of supernatural beings, or maybe even vampires who aren't evil. i also like the idea of an age of sail situation, with supernatural shit involved or not. )

r. m. r.enfield — r.enfield/d.racula ( one of my favorite underrated characters ever, and one i've spent copious amounts of time creating backstory and headcanons for. now that i've moved him from his own blog to here, i'd love to continue exploring him through rp. i'd love period threads, or threads set in the modern day; let him meet non-evil vampires, let him explore more of the supernatural world in general. be his roommate, idk. hell, let him be a muse's familiar but in a not toxic way! i have so many ideas and verses for this weirdo. )

sam singh-benford — r.esident e.vil oc ( sam is an oc i'm very proud of, and i'll always jump at the chance to write him more often. his passion as a photojournalist and his connections get him into a lot of dangerous places, and sometimes into a lot of trouble, but i love his resilience and determination to reveal the truth. he can easily cross paths with a lot of re muses, canon or other ocs. i guarantee you, he'll find a way lmao. )

past

f.itzwilliam d.arcy — p.ride and p.rejudice ( i loved writing this socially awkward man lmao. it was through this muse that i met some people i still talk with to this day, and one good friend i even still rp with on this blog. i know it's sacrilege, but i used his zombies verse the most, since t.wd fandom was really big, as well as re, and i enjoyed it so much. idk if i'll ever revisit him as a muse, but he helped me grow my writing immensely. )

s.am l.oomis — h.alloween ( i've written him on-and-off for years. we're off again at the moment because i didn't find many people interested in interacting with him at this point in time, but he might reappear if that changes. regardless, eventually, he always comes back lmao. )

d.avid c.ollins — the g.uest ( a niche muse that i'd bring back in a heartbeat tbh. the friend i wrote him with left tumblr rp, and i tried making verses for him in other fandoms, but no interactions ever really stuck. i still have long headcanon posts for him in my drafts here and a lot of interest in rping him again whether in canon or other verses, but i understand that people aren't always interested in writing with muses from a fandom they're not in. maybe someday! )

possible future

e.ddie b.rock/v.enom — m.arvel ( they're two separate characters, but i'm sticking them here together anyway bc of course i am. i haven't written either of them in a long time, but the muse is musing lmao. i like writing them together or apart, and i'd honestly be open to writing eddie against a v.enom or v.enom against an eddie, i feel like that would be really fun. i'm not 100% if i'm bringing them to this blog, but i'm currently removing a few muses i'm not using so there will be room...... )

k.anan j.arrus — s.tar w.ars ( i thought about adding back he and zeb together, but ultimately just brought zeb back for now. i think i want to reread the k.anan comics before i truly consider writing him again. )

f.iyero t.igelaar — w.icked ( this is a big maybe. this is my favorite musical and i'd like to write a muse i love from it, but idk if i'm going to at this moment. i am Unsure. )

fantasy oc ( sort of want to try rping with my fantasy oc. he'd obviously fit into a generic fantasy setting, but also l.otr, w.itcher, d.nd, d.ragon a.ge, even h.ellboy. we'll see. )

tagged by: @dhampiravidi ( thanks so much! ) tagging: @paramoira @amused-bouche @gotnowhereelsetogo @halliwellauto

@ofrcgency @timeguardians @dynastymuses + whoever else wants to do this.

[thechy-fychannel]

Do you have any thoughts on hameron? Like, did she genuinely love him or just wanted to fix him? Did he ever have feelings for her beyond thinking she's hot? What do you think about their "date"? Did she ever get over him? (Everytime I thought yes she did, she would do something like "I'm not in love with house" speech or her breakup speech with house in s6 so I'm not sure anymore)

such a great question!!!! I have lots of thoughts about them bc their relationship is both incredibly complicated and unfortunately simple. tbh I used to really dislike hameron and I still do when it comes to the early seasons, but I can also recognize that on some level, they really did love each other.

The unfortunately simple part of their situation is that they are both victims of the phenomenon of wanting someone who doesn't want you— because they don't want you. that's not all there is to it, but it's very much the basis of whatever was going on between them. cameron wanted house bc house didn't want her, she liked the challenge and the idea of being the person who could fix him. I always think about what house said to her in s1 about her working her pretty little ass off to become a doctor when she could've breezed through life on her pretty privilege. I think the same thing applies with house, she could have anyone she wanted easily, but she wanted to work her pretty little ass off to have him and fix him instead.

alternatively, house didn't really want her until she didn't want him anymore, or at least outwardly. once she left the team and was engaged to chase, his affection and longing for her became much more apparent and he even admitted on several occasions that he wanted her back. He missed her enough to admit it out loud which is huge for house, only to get hit with "I miss the job, I don't miss you." which was fully a lie, obviously. she was lying to herself bc she was engaged to chase and couldn't in good conscience admit that she missed a man she was in love with not all that long ago.

Even though they both fell for that cliche of wanting someone who didn't want them, I think their feelings for each other were very real. Neither of them loved each other for who they actually were, but they were both in love with an idea of what they could've been in a perfect world. She thought if she could fix him, they'd be perfect together. I think she left the team bc she accepted that there was no fixing him and the only way to start moving on was to not be around him 24/7.

I don't know if house was ever really in love with her, I think he was in love with the idea that she was in love with him, bc he wanted to be wanted and loved by someone as good as cameron. she saw the good in him, made him feel like maybe he wasn't all bad. that's what house was in love with and wanted once she wasn't around to shine her pretty, morally good eyes at him. I also think it's worth noting that house says cameron is just like his dad when it comes to morality and let's not forget the massive daddy issues this guy has, so I think that plays a role in his attraction to her. I think partially, he was driven to her in search of something he didn't get from his dad bc emotionally he connected the two of them (imagine having such bad daddy issues that you project it onto your female employee who is like almost 20 years younger than you??? insane.)

To answer your question about their date, I hated it. It was weird and awkward but I understand they were trying to do a spin on the whole "boss sexually harasses employee" trope, especially given that house has no problem sexually harassing his employees, cameron included. but what I do really like is the scene where he goes to her apartment and begs her to come back bc when has he ever done that for anyone else (besides his soulmate wilson)??? I think that scene alone told us that he had some type of feelings for her. It wasn't just a work thing, he could hire any pretty, smart doctor who will put up with his bs, but he wanted her. I'm not going as far as to say he was in love with her all the way back then, but I definitely think it proved that he had some type of feelings for her that made him really really pathetic about her. I think she recognized it too and that's why she made him go out on a date with her, bc she thought that romantic date setting would spark those feelings and start a fire, but it didn't. Ultimately, they were all types of wrong for each other and both knew it, but just because they knew that, didn't rly make the feelings go away, it just made them smart enough not to pursue it (kind of, cameron would've pursued it if house let her).

to answer your other question, no, I don't think she ever got over him. and it's a hard thing, bc when the divorce happened, I do believe a part of her hated house bc she blamed him for what chase did. she'd convinced herself that chase was different when in reality, I think she was only with chase because of how much he was like house. chase didn't kill that dictator because of house, it's who he was and it's what he was going to do regardless of house. I think that's why when chase asks her "did you ever really love me?" that she initially answers "I don't know" bc she never really knew whether she loved chase or she loved that chase was like house. but for so long, she convinced herself that chase was different and then he went and proved that he wasn't any different and she hated house for ruining the idea she had in her head of what their relationship was and ruining another relationship for her. being off his team wasn't enough anymore, she had to get far far away from him if she ever wanted to move on. But she came back for his funeral and I think that shows that she still had love for him, even if she wasn't in love with him.

thank you for the great question and letting me ramble my feelings to you!! feel free to ask anything bc I can go on and on and on about this dumb ass show indefinitely.

[3gremlins]

ahhhh i finished it last saturday night (11/9) (this will post from the q so after other q'd things)! it was really enjoyable tbh, i really liked it. it was good (if we don't get another da game, i am fairly satisfied) not perfect but few things are. def stick with it if you're not sure, there's a LOT at the end

spoilers for the end of veilguard- initial notes after the cut, not particularly organized

not me figuring out the varric reveal like 5 minutes before it was actually revealed tho XD tbh i was expecting him to die from the trailers and then he didn't and i was like "oh perhaps they're doing something else with him?" so they got me with the bait and switch and i was properly horrified. good job, you got me bioware. (as an aside, i still don't think varric was a strong enough choice as solas' friend for the intro section, like you never get the impression they are friends in dai at all. varric was stronger friends with anders than he was with solas, despite weird dai retcon about it. I wish they'd centered the narrative around someone else there- cole would have been a good choice? or cole and varric even since that's the most interesting interaction varric has with solas in dai) i'll def have to watch the cutscenes with him in subsequent pts. I kinda wish they'd done a follow up with him somewhere, maybe like the endings in that one fade book you find in trespasser (like at that fade bar with alistair/the warden/hawke/etc, would have been nice). got some solavellan conclusions, more than i expected and it was pretty good all things considered (i would have loved more, but also this was much more than we've gotten from other cameos of previous protagonists).

(is this the most awkward screenshot ever? possibly XD look she loves him so much, she'll even kiss his blight-y mouth and go live with him in the fade) i do wish they'd figured out a way to keep cole in (esp since spirit cole has that sad line about needing to help solas at the end of trespasser) somewhere. it was still pretty good honestly, i cried (this whole game made me cry at various points tho). I do think it could have resolved with them both living outside the fade and just his life being tied to it but i also get them wanting to literally tie up loose ends with this particular narrative.

it feels very mass effect 2ish (esp the end game section), i think most people will like it but i did find the end game section kinda stressful (where you have to pick the right person for things). Also for a dragon age game, usually by the end you have your team so having to break up the team so they live is not necessarily what i want in a DA game (i can appreciate it narratively while disliking it in practice lol) The format is also very mass effect-y in how it doles out companion stuff (esp romance stuff)- it's paced around the plot which is for the most part a good thing (but it also made it hard to tell where you were with things). I definitely like how they utilized the factions better than DAI or DAO tho- even tho only their rank mattered, having the characters in cut scenes and as npcs you can chat with at the end was really nice. I don't know if it's just lucanis' romance or all of them, but i kept thinking i'd missed something b/c of how long they make you wait for private time alone with your partner (the parts we get are really good, don't get me wrong, it just made me wait FOREVER to smooch him or get more than burning looks lol). 100% worth it tho. will romance many more times probably

(aside: getting to have a rook who's got a body like mine and a flat chest and have another character look at them desirously was just gender euphoria really. like okay actually their chest is nicer than mine -i have to do more pushups- but STILL. THANK YOU BIOWARE FOR INCLUDING NON BINARY PEOPLE SO MUCH IN THIS NARRATIVE and integrating us so deeply in all the bits, not just pronouns and basic shit) Like it wasn't even before the first "final" mission but before teh for realskies final mission ish (and i got more dialogue towards the end too). Real Return of the King BUT WAIT there's more vibes with the end (past the point of no return warning). I wish there was a little bit more romance partner time in act 2 even if it was just vibing? I did get a lot of good companion banter about it which i love (i live for banter and the banter in this was so good) i think my biggest note is i didn't feel the music helped it that much? idk i wish they'd just gone with one of their previous composers so it felt more dragon age-y (the zimmer score felt a little generic except when it did reprises of previous dragon age themes). Sometimes it felt too bombastic and sometimes there was not enough, idk, it just didn't have quite the same feel. i did like that they reused the bard music from DAI in the cities, made me smile hearing the sera song esp. i also wish the approval/tone system was a little more like dragon age 2 where you got unique dialogue choices based on which you chose more. Also sometimes the "sassy" answer wasn't that sassy or felt mean, there felt like a little bit of a disconnect between what i would have expected from the choice and what was said. The approval system was a bit weird too - like there were no approvals early on and then suddenly people reacted to things (but it didn't seem to impact their bonds). It felt like that could have used more tweaking or been more obvious anyway. It also felt like it required your character to code switch when talking to different companions since some of them responded to the different tones differently- which felt really weird and a little clunky. I def wished for more of the DA2 style where your companions just accept that you are a fun or kind or straightforward and you can rp that for the whole game.

i really liked the art direction (tho i did sort of miss the persistent splatter gore) and loved all the companions! the story was overall pretty good tho it suffered from a few pacing issues early on (you could sort of tell it had been reworked a little bit and bits were still a bit weird- but tbh all the games suffer from this a bit).

the combat was fun! i wish the targeting was a little better (as i've mentioned) and toward the end of the game, i got some stuttering when a lot of things were hitting rook at once (so it wouldn't register my dodges correctly). I played as rogue rook and it was super fun, glad i went with my actual fave class on my first pt (i always think i should be a mage and then want to be a rogue so im glad i can finally be like no no, i love knives and arrows!) The optional bosses were the most fun/challenging. Finished the game with the poison squad ofc but most of the companions felt reasonably balanced when I had to use certain parties (i'd say the warriors felt the weakest in their skills, have to see how player warrior feels, rogue rook was awesome). i loved that you could refund your skill tree at any point for no cost and also that it explained the bits of the tree (bursty, control, etc) so you could work out your own build for it. I wish the super special rune you get for beating the optional questline wasn't presented as your last ditch effort thing- i got confused by this dialogue and was a little afraid to use it at first (i thought i'd have to use it at a particular time in a fight, but nah it was just a really good rune with a normal cd) Obviously there's still more questions (the "secret" post credits scene) and i kinda wanted a post credit party scene? Maybe if we're lucky we'll get one like we did for bg3 i'm pretty satisfied, already started some more rooks and ready to make some fan art! [im also pretty sure my first pt had the most bugs since i started it on release date and didn't get the starter quest achievements until my 2nd rook, so we'll see how it plays with war rook and mage rook)

[rosemarytrash]

me drama posting cuz i actually had a really good experience today but it was rly nerve wracking lmao

in case some of you didn't know, i currently live in montana!! it's a nice enough state for its nature and the like, but politically it's kind of a shit show. pros and cons y'know, but as a trans guy it's fairly lame. also, bcuz geography is important, i live in eastern montana, not on the cool western side where all the mountain queers go hang out. that's generalizing a lot but it is what it is so bare with

anyway, back in 2021 there was a bill passed (SB 280) that effectively made it impossible for trans people to change their gender marker on their birth certificate or other identifying documents without having a sex change surgery, while at the same time writing in that no surgery exists to change your sex on a chromosomal level or any of that bullshit. whereas before that bill was passed, montana law was a little more loosey goosey about it. mainly in that it didn't yet have a republican legislature hyperfixated on a culture war to drum up support so trans people weren't really IDENTIFIED by the law, which was ironically kind of easier to navigate. idk, shit weird, i'm no expert

anyway, tbh, i never really CARED about changing my gender marker. i changed my name legally back when i was like 15 or 16 and i believe, at that time, i had the option to simultaneously change my gender marker. for whatever reason, i decided not to. i think it had something to do with healthcare and trying not to fuck up the future possibility of getting on T, which didn't happen for another year for me. i've also always been fairly loose about my gender identity in terms of a full identification with maleness/manhood. like, i'm a guy, i'm a dude, don't call me anything except that, but on a deeply personal level i see myself a little more in between on that kind of scale. maybe something inherently non-binary but no label has ever quite fit the bill, so trans guy with an asterisk will have to do. anyway!!! i don't really recall why i made that call, but i had, and it truthfully never really got me into any trouble. for all the times i later had to flash my ID, even to this date, i can only really recall one time where a gas station clerk gave me a weird look and said "sir... ma'am... sir-ma'am... here ya go" when i was buying cigarettes lmao. i was never questioned about it by employers and as far as i know was never turned away from a job because of it (which is good because montana doesn't have employment protections for trans people (last i checked)). so i truthfully spent a good 7 or so years relatively unbothered by this fact or by the fact that i had an F on my driver's license. it was inconsequential to me

recently though with republicans doing more and more lines of anti-LGBTQ cocaine and more people becoming aware of trans people, it's been unsettling here. y'know just mildly discomforting. and mentally that is fatiguing. i've also only now encountered some bureaucratic bullshit that's like okay, wow, this is actually going to be a bigger problem in the future and i'm not wanting to deal with that. mainly in the form of i'm getting married here soon, we want to try and do some kind of honeymoon adventure in the distant future, so for that i need an passport and from what i've read that can be a real fucking headache for trans people and it can be even harder to change in the future. so like blugh. i'm also in the process of applying to grad school and it's just--kind of annoying to have to identify myself a certain way. it's weird cuz i won't pretend it's put me in some life-threatening situation or there's anything that feels DIRE about needing to change it, but it just feels like there'd be a lot less awkwardness and vulnerability if i did. ironically when montanans were less redpilled i didn't care about changing all my legal shit over, but now that your average grandpa here thinks of trans people as botched teenage girls or child predators in bathrooms and THAT's their reason for getting out of the house to go to the polls next year, well yeah now i give a shit about "deceiving" the system. idk it's dumb

anyway i actually KNOW the girl who is the plaintiff against the govt in the lawsuit against SB 280. she's really cool and it's cool that i know her. i ended up reaching out to her a few months back to ask how that was going and what it meant for changing your gender marker in MT. and fantastically i had found out that late 2022 the judge on the case had issued an order that forced the DPHHS to suspend its practice under SB 280 since it was a fundamentally unworkable law and to return to its original practice prior, which allowed trans people and frankly anyone else with good enough cause to change their gender marker without meeting some bullshit made up requirements by the state.

it then took me months to get the gumption to actually write, edit, and file a petition for it. which i finally did today, and it surprisingly all got done in an afternoon, even though hypothetically the courthouse at 1PM on a tuesday should've been fairly busy. i'll be interested to see how it goes, because just cuz it's filed doesn't mean anything is certain. to my knowledge, LEGALLY, it should be a done deal, i should get an order from the judge that will allow me to get a new birth certificate and a new driver's license and all that jazz. but what do i know? the judge may want to have a hearing about it, which could be incredibly awkward in a courtroom full of other people waiting to have their cases heard, but idfk. my fingers are crossed that it'll go okay.

and it was kind of a good experience? i was as anxious as one could imagine. i'm a bearded dude walking in with paperwork asking kindly for an F to become an M lol. and the gals at the courthouse were momentarily confused, raised a few brows, had to talk to someone to see what the current rulings were in that previously mentioned lawsuit, but they were nice enough about it. they got my shit filed, they took $120 from me rather apologetically cuz that's what shit costs to file a civil petition in the state district courts. i get to find out by email if the judge will just approve the order i drafted or if he's going to want to speak to me. and i'm hoping either of those things happen before the wedding so none of that paperwork becomes a headache.

anyway this is a long post cuz i have a lot of thoughts and either i ramble on and on to my fiancee about it or i just splurge on whatever few unfortunate souls decide to read this :) thx if you do. there's no point really to any of it yk just airing out some thoughts i guess. i'll go draw some gay shit now <3

[starbuckaroo]

I think I would be happier w bucktommy all these episodes down the line if Tommy still interacted with or asked after Eddie. I know there’s a lot the show doesn’t put onscreen so there’s no reason why it couldn’t have plausibly happened or couldn’t still happen (and I hope it does), but Tommy was Eddie’s friend first! They hung out a lot!

And yet, since he got together with Buck, we haven’t gotten to see them interact.

Granted, there hasn’t been a lot of screen time for Tommy and that’s fine, it’s a short season w very little room to breathe. This isn’t some sort of angry anti bucktommy tirade. But it does make me just a tad uncomfortable the way things are at this moment. Bc it’s not a stretch to theorize that maybe Tommy was hoping things Eddie might go somewhere and when they didn’t, he tried with Buck. I don’t think that’s supported by the text, but it’s also not negated, either. Idk. It’s not a huge deal at the moment, just a little snag?

Listen I am a buck fan but I am an eddie fan!!!!!!! And I am so so sad for eddie this season it’s been rly fucking rough on him! Not like buck needs to change anything (except not be a jealous freak and lash out physically if he can’t use his words), like I said I’m here for bucktommy I think they’re great. But like. Where’s the awkward “hey how do we hang out now that you two make out sometimes” or whatever?? We deserve to see that tbh! It’s a more common issue in queer circles, that ppl have to slip in and out of romantic/platonic interactions when people partner up or break up. It’s also the first time either of them have dated anyone within the LAFD and so it’s the first time this could ever have even come up!

Idk man. Just I keep thinking about how happy eddie seemed when he was hanging out w Tommy and maybe it’s just bc that ep was meant to be from Buck’s pov but i don’t know what’s worse, thinking it WAS real and now he doesn’t get to have that friendship anymore or that it WASNT real and he was never actually having that good of a time.

MY REAL POINT is that anyone who WAS or IS a buddie shipper or anyone who likes Eddie at all has to acknowledge how important buck and eddie are to each other, right? Which means that in any relationship that either of them ever have, if they want it to be serious and have long term potential, they actually need to integrate their partner with their best friend.

Maybe this is too weird for some ppl? It’s always seemed like a given, like if there’s someone new and important in my life, I def want my best friend to meet them and like them bc I want us all to be able to spend time together! I don’t want to feel split between them all the time! And esp with Tommy already having connections with most of the 118/main cast, and particularly Eddie, it would make sense for us to see them interacting!

Idk. I’m probably wanting too much from my network tv show lol I just. I will literally never take bucktommy seriously as a pairing if they don’t manage to address the Eddie of it all. And not in a “address the fact that buck loves him” contrived jealousy nonsense. I mean address the fact that their lives are bound together! And it predates anyone that either of them will ever date! Plus imagine the character growth it would take for Buck to send Tommy to Thursday basketball with like a plate of cookies and orange slices or something but not show up himself. Be like “have fun with the boys, slap Eddie’s ass for me” or whatever 😂 I would believe Buck was finally on his way to being ready for a long term adult relationship if they managed that, is all I’m saying

[gorogues]

andrewmoocow replied to your text post: I just want to give her a hug.

Same, TBH!

demonbirdsforever said: Thank you!

No problem :)

Spoilers for Wonder Woman #12 beyond this point!

timethehobo replied to your text post: I’m of the same mind as you on this issue. Thanks for reviewing it as well.

Glad to hear it, and no problem! People needed a heads up on this.

demonbirdsforever replied to your text post: I heard from Wes (Critical Thinking) that Wonder Woman was going to get the… “Batman Treatment”. I guess this is the start of that.🧐

I hadn't heard that, but it's not surprising given that Tom King wrote Batman for several years. It's clear that to some extent he's differentiating between Diana and Batman/Batfam, but here she's not as different from them as she'd probably like to believe. That could be interesting if she realizes it in an issue or two and it leads to some soul-searching, but I'm not feeling a ton of faith in that.

demonbirdsforever replied to your text post: Side thought. The Interrogation was poor. I’ve seen tv investigators do it better without laying a finger on the perp. How embarrassing.

It was. In fairness, Damian's a kid, but Diana really should have had better control of the situation and of herself.

orion-nottson replied to your text post: DC writers try not to write a frankly bizarre amount of unnecessary violence challenge (IMPOSSIBLE)

And it's in that weird awkward zone in which Digger gets the shit kicked out of him but is somehow not bloody and bruised. Not that I'm jonesing to see him hurt, but realistic consequences for the violence might better drive home how brutal this was.

lfthinker replied to your text post: What I don’t understand is why Digger’s so reluctant to betray Waller. I thought a big part of his character was that he wouldn’t think twice about selling out the Suicide Squad. Why wouldn’t he jump at the chance to screw over Waller if he knows he could get away with it?

It is weird, yeah. I guess it's possible he's allowed to be free in exchange for his silence (and maybe assistance), but I can't imagine that even Digger enjoys seeing his friends (or colleagues, if we're being pessimistic about his feelings for other people) depowered, imprisoned, and enslaved. I guess it's also possible he agrees with Waller's goals, but that seems less likely because she also wants to take down low-powered everyday villains like him.

eusouomar replied to your text post: Wow I really hate all of this. The issue, I mean, not your review. Your review is spot on.

Thank you, I'm glad :) But yeah, I feel the same about the issue.

longitudinalwaveme replied to your text post: Our heroes, whom we are presumably supposed to like and root for, engaging in acts of at least borderline torture for an entire issue: definitely not why I read comics. This is like when they had Zatanna and Barry be involved with brainwashing people in Identity Crisis and its aftermath. Or how they had Ray Palmer torturing Killer Moth in that terrible Justice League: Cry for Justice miniseries. Ugh. Who wants to read about superheroes behaving like supervillains?

Both Marvel and DC (but especially DC) go through their edgy phases, and it's honestly tiresome. But it's interesting, I did a quick google of some fan reviews of the issue at other sites and none of them expressed dismay over the torture or even had a problem with the way Digger was treated. It obviously wasn't an exhaustive search and maybe there are others who are upset, but maybe it's just us Digger/villain fans who are bothered :\

longitudinalwaveme replied to your text post: And while I'm glad DC hasn't totally forgotten about Owen, but I dislike the snobby jerk entrepreneur version so much that I almost wish they had.

It's honestly surprising that they didn't, as it was just one story more than five years ago. I would have figured that someone at DC would google Owen and get the more famous version.

ammomancer replied to your text post: wait wym douchey entrepreneur, i didnt realize owen had even showed up post new 52 before this

He appeared in one previous story, which you can see here. He was very different from his pre-Flashpoint self, basically a new character with the same name.

pixie-mask replied to your text post: Our…heroes? Not just as a Boomerang fan but this isn’t enjoyable to see. Last I remember they weren’t anti-heroes. But this is my opinion on a quick look. Will …enjoy reading later.

It's especially disappointing from Wonder Woman, and even a bit surprising that it's in her own book (and not, say, some event comic like a Crisis title).