#tbh baby does change her look a lot so Michael is use to it

[chloesimaginationthings]

That’s not circus baby that’s poppy playtime™️ herself!

[onlyhereforangst]

WWR

I’m baaaaack bitches 😘 let’s be honest the last two episodes were shit & you wouldn’t have wanted that wwr anyways. SO let’s get into the ✨angst✨ that was Nick’s episode under the cut…

Oh but before I start, why yes, yes I called this theory too. Me and this writer share a goddamn brain or something because I’ve literally always guessed big plot points of his episodes correctly 😅

Ok Nick’s dad leaving like that, with poor bby Nick all sweet asking if he promises to bring him back his favorite pastry and him hesitating before he’s going to promise- NO. 

*picture Michael Scott gif here*

It’s not faaaaaair, little Nick deserved so much better- so MUCH better. And it’s only going to get worse as the episode goes on, so strap in for the walk down emo lane. 

Quick pit stop for cute banter because duh. Nick giving the real estate agent Ellie’s number cracks me up because bro you want this house with her don’t you 👀 you still keep her business cards on you when you could have just as easily gotten your own (or McGee’s) by this point 👀 you just want to maaaaarry her and move iiiiiiin with her I knooooooow it 👀 Ellie’s reaction the split second we see also has me dying because she’s like ha ha this is funny you had to talk to real estate agent you drew the short straw hey wait what the fu— you did not! Before McGee interrupts any protest she can hurl back Nick’s way and that’s just gold right there. Pure middle school flirting as per usual for them and I love it.

Oooooooh Kasie’s lab scene. The growth in this one. Nick worried his family and by extension him, is going to get implicated for murder (or is guilty) even though it sounds outrageous to him, he’s got PTSD from Mona Lisa (and who wouldn’t tbh). But Ellie immediately, like IMMEDIATELY goes and defends him. Is like uh-uh don’t even GO there, it’s not a possibility its just person of interest I don’t care if it’s literal hair at the scene of a man stabbed brutally seven times, he’s not a murderer. The grooooooowth Ellie, I’m so proud of you 🥺 we went from using that logical head to realizing it’s ok to listen to your heart and wade into situations with empathy (especially for the boy you ~*looOOoOoOve*~) And then Nick talking about his dad being dead and a deadbeat and walking out when he was 5, he looks at Ellie almost the entire time, only barely glancing over at McGee like he needs to have that connection with her, she grounds him when this is suddenly very jarring having a relative by semi-involved in a murder. And Ellie isn’t the slightest bit shocked when Nick dumps this news so clearly she’s heard it and by her look, not only has she heard this, but she does not like the man for what he did to Nick. She looks pissed his father hurt Nick like that because how dare any one hurt her man 😤

And oh here it is, we back on emo lane. Nick recognizing and seeing his dad for the first time in 30 years. It’s gonna hit like a 🎵freeeeeight traaaain🎵 at first he can’t even believe its him, he blinks like a thousand times because *surely* his eyes are deceiving him and then his dad goes and uses his nickname, his nickname people the CRUELTY. YOU DON’T GET TO JUST SHOW UP THIRTY YEARS LATER AND CALL HIM BY HIS CUTE LITTLE NICKNAME YOU GAVE HIM AS A CHILD. YOU DON’T MIGUEL. NOT IN THIS GD HOUSE. Ok and now nick is in pure shock because he just got confirmation that his dad is not only *not* dead, but he’s here in front of him, in DC no less, possibly a murderer no less. AND he’s finding this out by chasing him down *not* by Miguel reaching out to him while in DC. The shock and confusion and hurt my poor baby.

And when that shock wears off and it’s just barely contained rage, my heart 🥺 so of course Ellie goes in there with him and nows she needs to immediately be the support she knows he needs but he won’t admit to needing. Nick tries to deflect with a joke at first but oh honey it’s no use. But quick comedic relief for us on emo lane “sit down, no I don’t like sitting” AHAHAHA like father like son I’m cackling because the look Ellie and nick share and nick’s eyes warn her like don’t you dare fucking say it and she’s like yep yep nope I wasn’t gonna say a damn thing I’ll just look down and try to contain my laughter because now is NOT the time. But see I’m on my couch and I can laugh all I damn well please at this scenario that was gold from the writers thank you. On a more serious level this probably hurt nick even more seeing that he’s even got the smallest something similar to his dad. He’s probably desperate to be the exact opposite, he doesn’t want to even consider being capable of what his father was capable so this - while seemingly insignificant - thing like not wanting to sit in a chair will hit deep for him without him realizing it. If something so trivial is the exact same, wouldn’t something much much heavier like commitment to relationships and family be the exact same? Wouldn’t it?? And good god poor nick for going through that mental anguish, on emo rollercoaster lane. Because it just gets better when Miguel’s excuse for being in DC is “visiting family” like call your BULLSHIT Miguel you certainly ain’t visiting family and Nick now knows oh he lies too, great, another win for the Torres blood, fan-fucking-tastic. 

Quick peek at viewing room and we don’t believe in personal space, Ellie wants to be as close as possible to her hurting bby 🥺

But back to the emo stuff - Miguel just lying off his ass and Nick fed up with his father’s games because it’s truly just twisting that knife in his back that’s been stuck there for 30 years deeper and deeper. AND THEN Miguel has the audacity to yell out for “Nico” like bitch you do NOT get to call him that either. You walked out on him and never came back gtfo. And Ellie is trying so hard to keep it together but man she wants to do one of two things if not both at the same time - wrap Nick up in her arms and shield him from this deadbeat and/or punch this man through the glass to cause just a fraction of the hurt he caused Nick. But instead she just has to keep her cool to be the supportive girlfriend she is and ask nick what he thinks and then. Then. “He’s lying…because his lips are moving”

Well FUCK. Murder me right now. The anguuuuuuuish. Poor five year old Nick in a 35 year old Nick’s body. That little boy who was promised a big hojaldre in the morning from the next town over is right there. Right there to witness the father he thought he had, hasn’t changed. One of the only memories Nick probably has of his father is him leaving. Him lying and leaving. And what does he do when he finally shows up again? 

HE LIES AND LEAVES. HE FUCKING LIES AND LEAVES. (I know I’m getting ahead and technically at this point we don’t know he’ll leave again but whatever sue me because this shit is too much.)

Side note: Ellie talking about a “conflict of interest” that Nick didn’t interrogate his father is laughable considering she should have never interrogated Xavier but ok. 

Ooooo lets see some pissed off Nick. Let it loose baby, you deserve this. And I know I wrote about this in the tags somewhere but can we take a second to appreciate McGee’s growth??? Like bro went from straight up denial to acceptance and giving Ellie the look of “go talk to your boyfriend ok we need to make sure he’s alright and we both know your support is going to go a lot further than my support” and Ellie wordlessly kNOWS EXACTLY WHAT HE’S SAYING. She’s like yeah, of course I’ll go help my man why wouldn’t I. 

I don’t know why but Ellie asking Nick if he’s talked to his “mom and sister” is just so 🥰 I can’t explain this one to you but I love this dialogue ok. Actually I love this whole ensuing conversation. Nick still is bitter (he has every gd right to be), Ellie playing the supportive girlfriend but *tiiiiiniest* bit of devil’s advocate with saying he might be innocent. Once again, so much growth because honestly she knows what it’ll do to Nick if his dad actually *is* a murderer. Like can we for a second imagine if his dad actually was guilty, right? Nick already saw he was like his dad in trivial things like not wanting to sit in chairs. Nick has already had serious, serious doubts to what he’s capable of aka worried he could, if the right buttons were pushed, be a murderer on multiple occasions. Ellie has been there with him for all of that, she knows how low his confidence is when it comes to his perceived “goodness” and she knows just how much it would break him if he learned his direct bloodline IS capable of murder. She knows how he’d spiral if that was true and so she’s gripping to any small possibility his dad is innocent. But nick, oh poor Nick my heart- he’s done. He opens up to Ellie without literally any prodding. He’s baring his long buried soul to her, that troubled, broken childhood that he surely keeps locked away in fear of letting anyone see a weakness. He bares it without question because he feels so safe in her presence he can let her in to see his deepest shame and by extension his deepest worry 🥺🥺🥺 and poor Ellie, she’s a little lost at how to go about helping him because she does have a good relationship with her dad, so yes all she has here for him is saying his father was guilty of a crap dad but it’s because she’s still trying to convince them both he has to be good. He has to be good for Nick’s sake. Buuuuuuut it doesn’t really work does it, because oh shit pissed the fuck off Nick is a site to behold isn’t it 🥵 kicking down doors once again and his smart “still think he’s innocent” oooooooo damn. Ellie’s face says it all- she’s trying so hard to hold out hope for Miguel, so hard. She needs him to be innocent she’s willing to speak it into existence a thousand times but her face is like fuck this is going to kill him and I can’t do a damn thing about it other than just watch. 

More pissed off Nick 🥵 but when you think about it is so so painful, all I can picture is that little 5 year old boy who woke up the next morning waiting, waiting, and waiting. Staring out the window at each car that slows down but ultimately passes. Tugging on his Mami’s shirt asking for the hundredth time when papi is coming back from the bakery with his hojaldre, oblivious to the tears that are slowly sliding down her cheek because she still can’t find the words to tell him what she knows deep down. That little boy who when the sun starts to set the confusion sets in with it. Why hasn’t my papi come back yet? Where is he? He promised. The sadness and sense of rejection that starts to fill his little heart when his mami tucks him and his sister into bed and he asks one final time where papi is and will he say goodnight to them and his Mami has to say she’s not sure when he’s coming home and quietly to the side, “if he’s coming home.” The little boy who weeks later has finally abandoned watching out the window every, single morning. The little boy who had his heart ripped out and thrown to the side of the road when he realized his papi didn’t go to the bakery and instead he was thrown out by his father like a day-old hojaldre. So yeah pissed Nick is fine af but good god the angst underneath is suffocating. Because Nick in this moment doesn’t know the *true* reason Miguel left. He knows what he lived and what he lived is a piece of shit. Nick’s response to “is that what you think of me” is amicable because OOF he could’ve gone the fuck off right there and told him what he really thought of him but he stuck with only a slight dig. TO WHICH MIGUEL. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. IT HASN’T HURT YOU MUCH. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. FUCK YOU. SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE A SHIT DAD SO YEAH PROBABLY A GOOD THING YOU LEFT. THANK HIM NICK WITH YOUR FISTS BECAUSE HE’S A LITTLE SHIT. FUCK YOU MIGUEL. TOUGHENED HIM UP SO MUCH HE SHUTS EVERYONE OUT. YEAH FUCK YOU. 

And then man here is the point where it all just muddies in Nick’s mind. The poor dude. He knows this line of work, hell he was undercover for almost a decade. He understands how that leaves almost no room for a family. He gets it, so deep deep deep down a tiny part of him realizes why Miguel likely *thought* it was ok to ditch his family. But for thirty years he’s felt abandoned- no reasoning can change that. 

“It’s good to know he was making a nice living while my family was starving” fucking GET HIM NICK. Damn I wish Miguel had been in the room for that. He deserved to hear that one. Ruthless. 

I do not know how I missed this the first time around but holy shit Nick asked to be removed from the case. Nicholas Torres- a man who does not back down. A man who bullied his way into finishing his first ever case with this team that he was arguably way too close to that one too. This is how much pain Miguel brings him. A man who does not quit, not in his vocabulary - was so pissed at getting sent home back when Reeves died, he asks to get sidelined. He actually asks to get sidelined. Holy shit Miguel did a number on Nick and I mean we knew this but 🥺😭😭 poor bby. No wonder you don’t trust yourself in a serious relationship. It’s not the girl you’re worried about it’s you. You don’t think you’re capable of staying, you’re terrified you’ll be just like your dad and leave. once again, you’ve seen the similarities with trivial things and so this just cements your fear of failing at commitment. And this is Nick in just so much pain he asks to step back. oof. I do love Leon stepping into a slight fatherly role for Nick right there though, he shows his support, his pride in Nick and in that moment I think Nick realizes while his father by blood is shit, he’s got several other strong role models in his life that care and that’s why he agrees to work with him. 

Nick’s smarts comment about leaving the note behind 🤣 oh classic Torres move. Also do yourself a favor and pause it on Ellie’s reaction to him. GOLD hahaha she’s like ooo-kay did you really feel the need to say that, let’s not. Honestly I think I’ve given this look to my husband almost daily. They married y’all. 

So married that she overhears Miguel trying to talk to Nick and her hackles raise!!! She’s like hold the fuck up do not traumatize my baby even more, Nick do you need me??? Because I will get you out of this, I will be here for you, I will fight this man, just say the damn word!!!! And Nick ugh, his look. They can communicate with just a simple look, he knows all that she would do for him in that moment and still nods her off, but that tiny bit of gratitude is present. Then we find out that yes Grace is really good at guessing theories “in order to keep his young family safe, it means he has to leave. Of course he can’t *tell* them why he has to leave so that they continue to stay innocent and safe. So he plays it like he’s a deadbeat dude who was “too young” to be a father and is just now realizing it and leaves his wife, little daughter & son behind. Flash forward thirty years and the NCIS case leads them to him. A piece of evidence pops up with his alias, they go knocking down doors to interrogate a potential suspect (Nick’s father) before our lovely CIA agent interfere and claims he’s innocent because he’s a CI…” like DAMN, I’m good. Hahaha any ways the reason I bring this up is because I feel like I predicted/analyzed Nick’s feelings really well back then in this theory and after seeing his expressions, they hold true. Nick is just absolutely warring with himself during this explanation, searching for anything to confirm his dad truly is a deadbeat (and yes he is still absolutely a piece of shit for what he did, but there’s a “good” reason for his leaving and that’s what makes it so- hard.) and as I said when I first broke this down, Nick understands undercover work and his dad (being the POS he is) brings that up to Nick. Like he should “get” it because wouldn’t he do the same thing since he’s in that life? But here’s where (and Nick doesn’t totally realize it yet) Nick and Miguel are different. Because Nick came back, Nick stayed. He stayed y’all and he says it here but he does not realize the implications of his words quite yet. He is NOT the same as Miguel. Yeah he doesn’t like to sit in chairs but he has stayed. He has stayed through some tough shit too but he’s stayed nonetheless. More than Miguel could ever fucking say, that’s for sure. So yes, when Nick has the come to Jesus and realizes that he is not the same as his dad and he can and will stay? Damn I can’t wait for that moment. Also I wanted to slap Miguel when he called Nick “mijo” because BITCH YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL HIM THAT. YOU DO NOT GET TO CALL HIM YOUR SON. NO. “I’m not perfect but I did the best I could” well fuck you too Miguel because look at this broken five year old boy inside a thirty five year old man’s body. Does that look like the product of a “best you could”?? Does he look “ok” to you??? Fuck you. 

But yes here’s my take on where Nick is at: how do you forgive someone you’ve despised for thirty years once you know they “didn’t have a choice” (even though it will always feel like they had a choice or they could’ve explained it to you even if you were only five) and left in reality token you safe and give you a better chance at life? How do you reconcile the real dad and the one you lived with in your head for so long?? How???

And then you’re stuck still reeling from the night before and the bomb that was dropped and the reconciliation you’re attempting to your dad bringing in the ONE THING. The ONE THING he promised to bring home in the morning thirty years prior. How the actual fuck does one come back from that. Can I give another big FUCK YOU to Miguel Torres? Because seriously??? Why do you ever think that’s ok??? Hey I promised my kid I’d bring him hojaldres in the morning for breakfast thirty years ago so may as well make good on that promise right, only thirty years late that’s totally fine right? He won’t tell the difference right?

Fuck you, Miguel. 

And they’re still clearly Nick’s favorite because he’s brought Jimmy to a restaurant specifically for them and that just makes my heart break for the man he had to become without a father. He still held onto that love for them even though they were probably always associated with a horrible, horrible memory of being abandoned 🥺🥺 god damn Nick you’re so broken I’m so sorry. 

Ellie is still as supportive as ever and good god we clearly have lost all pretense of personal space at this point, what is her we don’t know her isn’t this normal for coworkers? But this conversation implies he called her after his talk with his dad and ugh yesssss 😩❤️ I still think he called her immediately after leaving the building, talked the entire car ride home and while getting ready for bed, needing the comfort of her voice on the other end of the line as he worked through his whirlwind of emotions and tried to come down off the cliff he felt himself on. All pretenses of a bad boy with a mysterious flare forever gone, his heart is open for her to see and he doesn’t give two shits about it anymore. But Ellie does a damn good job of girlfriend duties here and not only supports him but also gently prods him to see if he can maybe one day have a relationship with his father. The parallels she brings up makes him think (and also makes him look at her lips twice 👀 he’s just so close to her how could he not I mean right 😅) and I love that she’s still being v supportive but also trying to help him grow. 

And then Ellie giving Nick the option to go with his dad or go to the other location because she’s not going to push anything on him he doesn’t want and then when he chooses the embassy to avoid his dad her reaction had me laughing 🤣 but she respects it. And yet shortly after Miguel tries to team up with Nick and Ellie hears it from the other side of the bullpen, immediately all ears to step in if he wants to avoid him again despite giving him flack for it earlier. Nick can sense her worry and support and this is the moment he takes her advice in just a tiny step and accepts teaming up with his dad. But OMG KILL ME WHEN NICK THINKS HIS DAD IS DEAD BEFORE HE GETS TO TRY AT A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN. HIS WHISPERED “papa’s” I CAAAAAN’T. 

Ugh and then his last conversation with his dad while Ellie is checking on him constantly. It’s just too much, that little boy is back, desperately hoping for his dad to stick around. And Ellie is just so happy she can’t contain it for him and it’s perfect. He walks right to her, her hand on his back because they just need to touch each other after such a heavy couple of days and Nick echoes her advice back at her because he’s showing he listens and he values her insight and I just love it. 

AND THEN MIGUEL HAS COME TO RIP MY HEART OUT BECAUSE HE’S A PIECE OF SHIT REMEMBER. 

My poor bby Nick’s face when he realized his dad LIES AND LEAVES. REMEMBER. HE LIES AND LEAVES. God Wilmer killed it because Nick is literally on the verge of tears and my heart breaks and then yes he goes to Gibbs to see his pseudo-father who he then realizes is more of a father figure than Miguel will ever be and hell that’s okay but STILL. 

I will end this WWR with a I love supportive girlfriend Ellie and another big Fuck You to Miguel Torres.

Goodnight.

[fearlessmayee]

Top ten AFHF documentary moments, go!

Thank you for asking sea, but you've really put me in a dilemma, how the f am I supposed to choose 10? All of it was my favorite, he shined like the sun throughout the entire thing.

1. We got to see him in his element, him being nervous and excited just anticipating to share his passion with us. Can you imagine him thinking wishing to run away, and yet, staying put, squaring his shoulders and facing it head on. Hoping to give up, yet hoping against hope to do it again, even if it's just one more time.

“I hate this feeling [before going onstage]. Helene always said to me, that's a choice is it nerves or is excitement? It’s the same. Only now I look in the moment I feel it, but I look at it differently. […] I always have this feeling before in my mind where I’m thinking ‘if I could run away, I would’ but now I’m thinking ‘just get me out there!’ ”

2. You can see, that he is so far away from his ''image'' of One direction, yet the same teenage boy having this unattainable dream of being a singer, and that lad from donny. Expectedly, yes, he has grown and changed throughout the years, but his fundamentals and core remain the same.

“You know coming from a situation like One Direction it was never gonna be a walk in the park becoming a solo artist. I’ve had shit to deal with.“

2. BRUH, Vulnerability? from a white male? In his 20s and 30s?Who's an reputed artist? Who's a millionaire? I-? This line was just so true, and raw, and REAL.

“When everyday is the same, it’s hard to feel creative and its hard to get any kind of inspiration”

3. This sentence to me represented acceptance of struggles, usually a strong personality would rather not acknowledge his/her/their struggles. They'd rather be seen as someone who can do this in their sleep instead of saying, that yes my life is hard sometimes.

“Too many times in my career have I had to pick myself up and go ‘right let’s go again’ ”

4. Efforts, the sheer efforts. When you're at the level that you are, you happen to start putting significantly lot less effort in your work. Instead here's this baby, who is working even more hard, putting in extra energy, time, and assets into honing his craft. A true dedicated artist.

“I put in a lot of work with Helene over Zoom as well because of that I don’t think I’ve ever been that excited over a gig and I finally feel like I’m gonna get out there and not just enjoy it for fucking just bathe in it. Love it.“

5. Right, an artist who values his fanbase instead of taking them for granted and only using them for their money? you're kidding! An artist, who regularly emphasizes the importance of his fans, and never forgets to thanks them? Right, you're dreaming! An artist who meticulously plans a free festival for his fans? You're delusional

“Just the togetherness. That’s what makes me feel like I can take on the world. Because with that lot behind me, who’s gonna fucking stop us?”

6. Helene. That relationship - its closeness and intensity -- really surprised me. You can tell that they share a deep meaningful emotional bond. She's a mentor for him in every way and its clear she loves him as much as he loves her. A pretty rare sight, in between people who don't give really seem to give a fuck about him. There's a mother/son vibe there and he seems to trust her as completely as she admires him. Tbh, Helene I cried too.

“I trust Helene implicitly. She can tell me after I smashed it and I’m trying to read between the lines. Today, today she was fucking crying man.”

7. The moments the band were given to really what they can do, jamming out (including the strings going for it too.) Steve is phenomenal as is Michael, but they're all incredible frankly. The band was so cool, I'd also like to mention the other artists and people who's work The production design, the set design, the lighting, the sounds. Everyone except the marketing and advertising department, should clap themselves for a job well done.

8. Charlie. How well he gets Louis. How loyal he is to Louis, how much he appreciates who he is and what he can do. And how extraordinarily skilled he is at what he does himself. In fact this demonstrate just how good Louis is at finding people whore superb at what they do. He did his job phenomenally, exceptionally.

9. The fans as shown through the lens, which might be a substitute for through Louis eyes. Their love, their pride and delight came across so clearly .I loved that all the rainbow flags were given the spotlight - instead of being skimmed over, Only the Brave was a true moment. Similarly Two of Us, was a real moment, the fans knowing how much the song it meant for him, and understanding its value and being respectful about it. How they seemed shell-shocked and speechless during changes.

10. Maybe most of all, the reckless, fun, fuck it all style of the celebration shots moment and the band euphoric celebratory hug, showing their bond and relationship clearly. I absolutely loved those moments in the film because they were so Louis. He may be the leader but he's also a literal kid, a partner in crime some might say, pure unpredictable fun.

Watching the AFHF documentary, I feel every emotion that Louis went through and I know that we all are felt them together. He was just so happy and confident during the concert. A God on the stage. Anyone who has doubts Louis performance abilities, I urge you to watch 5 minutes of this. The immensity and intimacy are like nothing I’ve experienced with any other artist.

He is a real person, instead of some carefully crafted media persona; he is genuine artist, instead of any fake popstar wannabe; has real talent, instead of pretending to be talented; he is humble and kind, instead of someone advocating to be humble and kind, he is gold, instead of being glitter, and he is the SUN, instead of the moon who leaches of off someone else's light.

His character and personality was really visible. This was better than any interview, any promo, anything we could have hoped for. His standards are so very high, and he’s truly harder on himself than anyone else around him. I've no idea how he doesn't drown in the pressure and instead finds a way to break the expectations. Truly, As many have already commented, Louis always delivers, because what he gives is from his incredible intelligence and his big heart.

The reason it was fucking unbelievable was yes, ’cause I played me music and I sang some shit, but more importantly that we all are in the same room with the same idea, the same intention, the same feeling... And that, more than anything, is what I’ve come away from these situations feeling just this togetherness, and that is what makes me feel like I can take on the fucking world.

[pastelbatfandoms]

Survey because I’m bored

Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? Well it was our first date,and our first offical meeting. We were walking through the park when he kissed me,I'm assuming because he wanted too lol. Not that I was complaining. I was too shy back then to make the first move,nothing like how I am now.

Do you care what people think? A little. Everyone does.

Are you listening to music? If so, what is it? Nope.

Do you like to take walks? Sometimes

Would you ever date someone out of state? Yes

Plans for tonight? Eating Pizza and chilling at home.

Do you want to go to a party? Not during a pandemic.I'm not really into parties anyway.

Has your birthday past this year? No, it’s on the 27th

Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Yeah.

Will this year be better then last? Hopefully. For us it has been since we've moved.

Can you listen to music while reading a book? I read out loud so no.

Are Monday mornings the hardest mornings to wake up to? Every morning except when I don't have to walk My son to school are hard lol

Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? maybe.

Last thing you ate? Chicken and Broccoli rice bowl from Panera Bread.

Who was the last person’s voice you heard? Micheal's.

Who do you get along with best in your family? My twin nieces

How old do you think you’ll be when you get married? I was 23 or 24 idr.

Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yes.

Who were you last on the phone with? The Dentist

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? Yes.

Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 months from now? Yes.

Can you commit to one person and one person only? Yup. Though it's a challenge sometimes since mentally I want to be in a Poly relationship but I've never been in one.

Is there someone who continuously lets you down? Not anymore.

Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? Yes.

Do you miss your past? Some of it.

Are you typically a happy person? Yeah, in general.

Do you miss the way things used to be between you and someone else? Some parts but the majority no.

Who last made you smile? My Son.

Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone a lot a lot? Right now.

Is there a difference between love and being in love? Yeah.

Where is your Mother? At her house.

Have you ever laid on a couch with the opposite sex? Yes.

Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Both seem nice.

If you could change one thing this year about your life, would you? Uh, yeah. The fucking pandemic would be over. <<<This

Did you sleep alone last night? Nope.

Does it matter to you if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks? A bit like if they're a full grown alcholic then yes.

Do you like potato chips? Yeah.

Are you ticklish? Yes.

Craziest place you have slept? A Garage

Have you ever been cheated on? I think so. Though I don't have proof.

Can you count on anyone to be there for you, always? Yeah.

Do you think being “heart broken” is as bad as people say? It is. Romantically or not.

I’m guessing you’ve probably been asked this before, but which do you prefer - Coca Cola, or Pepsi? Both

Do you think the last person you texted is a virgin? (You don’t have to tell us who the person is, just say yes or no.) He’s not.

Has your phone ever gone off in the middle of a class at school? I didn't have a phone back then.

In your phone’s contacts, who is the second person listed under the letter ‘R’? I don't have My phone on me. Nor do I know anyone who's name starts with an R,except an Ex but there's no way his number would be in my phone.

What is that person’s favourite drink? No idea.

Has the last person you texted, ever been in your bedroom? We share a bedroom.

The last time you washed your hair, did you use conditioner? I use in spray/leave in conditioner.

Do you prefer light or dark jeans? Either.

Do you have an item of clothing that reminds you of someone? Tell me about it, and the person it reminds you of. I have a few pieces My Mom gave me,that I just keep for nostalgia reasons.

If the last girl you texted told you that she was pregnant, how would you respond? Um that would be My Mom and I would say it was a joke for one she's single and has not interest in dating anyone,2 she's in her 70's and 3 she has her tubes tied.

How old is the last male you texted? 34..

How would you react if your mother told you that she was pregnant again? LMAO already answered this.

Who do you have the most text messages from? My Mom and Michael.

When was the last time you visited the doctor? Last week,I have to go back tomorrow for another blood pressure test.

Do you know anyone who deserves to be slapped? Why? Yes several someones.

When you listen to music, do you generally sing along, or just listen? Definitely depends.

Do you have any of your exes as friends on Facebook? I think Benton who I dated for 8 months and My first BF Scott but I never talk to them.

Would you have sex with the last person that poked you on Facebook? That’s not a thing anymore and hasn’t been for a long time.

Does more than one person like you? Not that I am aware of.

Who is the youngest person in your household? When is that person’s birthday? My youngest Son. Who's Birthday is March 8.

Who was your first love? Do you ever miss that person? Scott Pattern and no not like that. He wasn't a bad BF though.

Do you like your middle name? I do.

Would you ever visit a psychic? lol don't need to. Only one I think I'd trust in would be Sloan Bella,but she's more of a Medium. She can't read your mind or anything,she mainly communes with spirits and reads peoples energies.

You log into Facebook and see the red ‘1’ notification next to the message icon. Who do you want it to be? No one in particular. It's usually a Facebook group or My niece Carol maybe My Mom or BFF.

Let’s say I was going to make you something to eat, what would you like? :) I’m not super hungry and I'm pretty picky. I'd say a grilled hot dog with sauerkraut since you can't really mess that up.

And what drink would you like with that? Pepsi

Do you know anyone with the same first name as you? Tell me about him/her.I used to in middle school. We kinda looked alike as well,I remember her being sweet but we didn't really talk much.

If your hair is long, would you ever think about having it cut short? Or, if it’s short, would you like to grow it long? I’ve had it really long and really short and I like it in the middle. <<Same. I do want to go get it cut,layered and dyed for My birthday.

Can you remember the last time you felt emotional? What was the reason? tbh it was yesterday watching Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I watched the episode when Kim was robbed at gun point in Paris and I felt really bad for her. I can't beleive people think she made it up or planned it,people are such jerks.

Do you call your partner ‘baby’? Not really.

What if you were told that your life has to stay exactly as it is right now, and nothing will ever change? How would you feel about that? Um tbh staying stagnant and not going anywhere in life is a fear of mine. so I would not be happy with that,also I would like the pandemic to end.

What is a word that starts with the second to last letter of your name? Cherry

[dotthings]

Heavily cluttered, as many Bucklemming eps are, but worth the trip. There was a lot of goodness in 15.08 and there were two moments where I shrieked out loud.

My two out loud-shriek moments, let’s get that out of the way: 

Queen Rowena. Caaaaalled it.

Dean and Cas are going back??? To???? Purgatory???? Together?????? And Bobo???? Is???? Writing the episode???????????? *SHRIEKING AND FLAILING*

Okay more orderly and sedate now. Eileen is so damn fierce. She’s a very physical fighter, she’s smart but seems to use a blunt fighting skill. She can punch HARD. I love watching that so so much. I would enjoy female characters on SPN like this regardless, but the fact that this is a hero character with a disability and it’s never a big deal is deeply refreshing and SPN did something really really right bringing her back, amen.

Protective Sam shows up and Eileen is happy to see him but literally pushes him aside so she can make the kill. She doesn’t need his protection, but she also values him as a hunting partner as the ep shows. Also they’re trying to build a relationship here. Eileen seems used to hunting solo and Sam wants to offer backup, and he got worried. 

So the plan is to lock up Chuck like Chuck locked up Amara. The sweet irony of this delights me. He tried to shut away the divine feminine rather than actually stepping up to deal with his sister as, well, a person (well, a divine deity, but still, a being with feelings and thoughts and complexities). Chuck, the arrogant and narcissistic toxic masculinity God, maybe to be locked up now instead as his hubris and his lack of empathy and his petulance is exposed. What if Amara was the more competent deity all along? 

There is no way Dean doesn’t know what an Achilles’ heel is. The random WTF of this is so much it’s not even angering it’s just so bizarre. LOL what even. Look I am really enjoying S15 but I hope the butterfly net tightens on stopping this kind of thing because honestly. I’ll just pretend that scene isn’t there. Luckily I enjoyed the episode overall a lot.

Team Free Will in research mode together in the bunker just really makes me happy. Cas is where he belongs.

Donatello!Chuck threatening Jody, Donna, Eileen, “pretty much everyone on your speed dial” as a deterrent to Sam and Dean is bearing out again my impressions of how Chuck views these characters. I’m still not 100% sure what he thinks of Cas who is right in the room but Chuck doesn’t seem to acknowledge him, except as some sort of right arm to Sam and Dean, as I’ve said in other posts, I think Chuck regards him as a nuisance now, and a deterrent to his miserable endings, and a pawn. Just like Donna, Jody, and Eileen, to him, they’re just pawns. They’re all people Sam and Dean care about, and Chuck will use them to keep his two favorites in line.

See what I did there?

Yeah. Chuck doesn’t care about the characters as people. Everyone except Sam and Dean are expendable and tools to be used so he can control Sam and Dean and that’s it. He’ll destroy them with a snap of his fingers and won’t care. Look at that. Familiar attitude, isn’t it. How interesting.

“If you want to stay here, stay here.” Dean’s gone back to not!listening to Cas I see. While Cas is Dean-avoidant and trying not to look at him throughout the episode. But both of them are thawing just a little.

Like when Cas heals Dean’s cut palm and the way it’s staged looks like he’s going to take Dean’s hand to do it which I don’t think is an accident. That moment was meant to be soft.  Dean didn’t ask. Cas offered. And Dean didn’t jerk his hand away or say no. Then there’s the fact that Cas is going to go with Sam and Dean into Hell despite all his misgivings about Michael and this entire plan. 

Team Free Will, getting all researchy together, and then getting all BAMFY together with their angel blades going into Hell.

We didn’t get any kind of nod back to Dean and Cas’s last visit together to Hell and that’s the second time they have been back to Hell (well the last time was some sort of Hell ante-room, the cage was brought up iirc) and SPN failed to nod to it, WHY AM I CONTINUALLY DENIED THIS.

“Hello, boys.” There it is. My actual shriek of delight. I hope it didn’t alarm the neighbors.

“I took it.”  Yes you did, my red-headed goddess queen of the underworld. You sure did. GET IT ROWENA. Rowena won the game of thrones. Boom.

She’s a little flirty with Sam, still has a soft spot for him I think. 

And then starts playing marriage counselor for Dean and Cas. “What am I picking up with you two? A wee tiff?....So fix it.” Someone called this, I’m fairly certain, that if Rowena saw Dean and Cas again during their divorce she’d size that situation up and down and comment on it. FIX IT. So say we all.

“Family sucks.” Jake Abel did such a fantastic job in this. tbh I didn’t give much thought to Adam all these years, it seemed like SPN was never going back there. I liked Jake’s performances in S5, but it just seemed like a story that was over. But Jake Abel, man. He comes back after all this time and owns the dual roles and made me care. With a performance that was alternately fearsome and vulnerable. 

“That’s adorable.” Dean is SO happy about Sam and Eileen, he looked so soft, and still a bit not okay because his chosen other half is barely looking at him, but mostly Dean’s rooting for Sam to have some happiness. “If it was to work, she gets it, she gets us, she gets the life.” It’s a retreated on Sam’s speech back during “Baby” about someone...something...who understands the life. And Sam has found that with Eileen.

Meanwhile Cas is right there, with Dean, with this great big chasm still open between them but...he’s there. And all the arrows point towards him for Dean. 

Dean and Cas are being magnets again. Not like in S14 where every time there is a crisis they stand very close together and are drawn together, now they’re like magnets that are trying not to feel the pull but they cannot escape each other’s pull nor do they really want to, but they can’t quite figure out how to cross the distance. 

There’s more than one scene where Dean or Cas is out of focus and the other in focus, as if to emphasize how they’re both there but not in phase with each other. Not yet.

I so enjoyed the Cas and Michael stuff. Cas’s prayer to Michael, Michael’s mad on for Cas. “Oh, I didn’t come to beg.” And there’s the ruthless strategic angel.

There’s also something really...fitting about Sam and Dean and Cas all being the ones standing outside the ring of holy fire together to trap an archangel who they effectively hope to bring in from the cold, to their side, in a post S6 era of the show. 

“To paraphrase a friend you had an entire oak tree shoved up your ass.” I see Cas is still quoting Dean, having Dean as a compass point or a North star. Even if he can barely look at Dean right now.

Cas telling Michael his unimportance to God and keeping the upper hand is just...so satisfying. Cas has grown so much. I keep thinking about S5 Cas and how despite how powerful Cas was back then, radiating power in ways he doesn’t quite do the same way now, Cas always seemed so...smol next to the archangels. Punching above his weight class. But now he faces down Michael and tells Michael rawly how it is with their dad Chuck. And when Michael tries to choke him, he fights past it and goes into Michael’s mind to show him everything, to help him see the truth. Cas has grown so much, this felt a lot like a little brother constantly picked on leaves home, grows, and comes back to find big, big brother isn’t quite as big and intimidating as he remembers. 

Which in fact he isn’t, because Michael is capable of insight and change and feelings too. He’s not his father. Despite being the favorite. Despite clinging still to his hero-worship. But Cas worked past that with Chuck long ago.

When Eileen’s friend needs help on a hunt, and Eileen goes to Sam, Sam goes with her, no doubts. Tells Dean he’s going, as Dean recounts to Cas, and Dean seems cool with it. 

Sam and Eileen seem to be growing closer and closer, and while there is something tentative about Sam, he definitely is drawn to her and cares. That tentativeness is from past hurt and loss and maybe he’s scared to enter into this kind of relationship. But they’ve got their own magnetic pull together, they fit. 

Dean and Cas facing each other in that bunker kitchen, the lighting darker and colder than usual. They’re facing each other, and each shift in and out of camera focus, not looking at each other much. Cas can’t look at Dean at all in this scene, while Dean keeps sneaking glances at Cas. In other scenes, Cas does sneak looks at Dean. They are ridiculous and my heart hurts. The blocking here is them facing each other only not--they are a few feet off, so looking past each other.

Cas sitting at that table, hands folded, staring straight ahead and working very hard obviously to Not Look at Dean. 

Dean’s reaction on Cas reporting the words Michael said, “I want you dead, get out.” The things Dean has said to Cas are coming back to haunt him, coming from the words of their once mortal enemy, that’s gotta sting.

Both Dean and Cas have some work to do here, but Dean definitely is already very aware his own words went too far, and has been for a while. 

“God lied to me. I loved him.” Oh wow that hurt, I didn’t expect these feelings. 

A thing about Adam and Michael, both feeling so abandoned by their families, and losing everyone. They offered support to each other. They worked out a time-share in Adam’s body. We’ve seen genuine vessel and angel bonds form before (in Lily Sunder). There’s also a S7 episode by Ben Edlund about the bond between a human and the demon who possessed him. Not sure how healthy Adam and Michael are, but they seem weirdly functional, and don’t despise each other and I kind of have some feelings about Adam and Michael bonding the way they did in The Cage. Perhaps Michael shielded Adam from the worst of it. It’s how Adam is coherent after being down there for so long. Maybe Adam made Michael less lonely. Did I ASK for feelings about Adam and Michael, no I did nOT and yet here we are.

Then there’s Adam. It was interesting that scene where Sam acknowledges maybe they gave up too easily. Because Sam and Dean refuse to accept it when it’s each other they lose, and have gone way over the line to get the other one back. Here Sam is admitting that it shouldn’t be just for them. That Adam was worth saving. Even though they don’t know him well, he still didn’t deserve what happened (as Dean acknowledges at the end of the ep). And Sam and Dean never mentioning him again or giving him another thought apparently, all these seasons...well, that kind of made me assume that was that. Just because someone is blood, doesn’t make you family and they barely knew Adam. 

But if it’s someone who could potentially earn that? Someone basically good? And they just...forgot about him and left him to his torment in Hell? So this did need addressing. There’s not much time to develop a relationship with Adam and TFW this late in the game but there was a start here. 

Dean likewise offers his apology to Adam at the end. “You’re a good man. You didn’t deserve that.”

Right when I was thinking, so many of them don’t get what they deserve, they just keep getting Hell heaped on their heads, Adam says “Since when do we get what we deserve.”

There’s a subtle thing there where Adam looks at Cas, Cas very pointedly still tries to be not looking at Dean, and after Adam leaves Dean turns to Cas looking so...sorrowful for a moment. I keep saying, Dean and Cas deserve each other, and right now they can’t figure how to have each other. 

But Michael left them a strange gift. The Leviathan flower, to seal away Chuck, but the gift has a double meaning (unintentionally on Michael’s part). It’s not just the tool to shut away the villain, Michael opens a door to Purgatory and boom just like that, opens up a whole doorway on Dean and Cas’s story because of the emotional significance of Purgatory for them. What they had there. What happened there. The way that place broke loose some of their feelings. I’m not sure what’s going to happen now, if they both go, as the promo glimpses seem to suggest, does one return and the other gets trapped? Is Dean’s prayer to Cas going to be inside Purgatory, is Cas also still in Purgatory and they get separated? Is being thrown together back into that environment going to help them heal? Or will they be torn apart again but that provides another route to reconciliation?

[ficclique]

Fic Clique hosts choices for our top fics of the decade - as featured in our Minisode from Jan 3rd. 

Brenna’s choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

Worldwide Lonesome by loindexter (BTS) 

2018, 39k, Yoongi/Jin 

The biggest gut-punch I’ve ever felt from a character confession. The Jin of this fic has stuck with me every day since reading it. This fic examines sexuality in a way that made me feel seen & I love that.

Timeshare by Astolat (HP) 

2016, 14k, Draco/Harry 

This is sort of a stand-in for all of astolat’s drarry fic, which as a bundle are one of my top fics for the decade. They are fics that feel like instant-classics and the variety of characterizations, stories and tropes helped establish astolat as perhaps my all time favorite fic author. Timeshare won out above the others because it’s one of the fics that helped us decide to do this podcast! Thank you Timeshare! 

Top 5 picks: 

The Student Prince, by Fayjay (Merlin)

2010, 145k, Merlin/Arthur

A fic that has defined fanfiction for me. Perhaps the fic that first convinced me to love fanfiction. Something I keep coming back to and have reread numerous times. Funny, heartfelt, just different enough from the canon versions of characters. Perhaps the only University AU I will ever fully love. 

The Love Song of the North American Douchebag, by Gyzym (Star Trek RPF)

2013, 25k, Chris/Zach

If you want to hear me (and my lovely co-hosts) discuss this fic in depth, then I recommend listening to Episode 6! However, one of our listeners also submitted this as a top fic of the decade, so I’m going to add what the lovely Scout said: 

“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I HOPE I CAN SWEAR. I'm not even in this fandom. The world building is just THAT good. It's one of my highlights *because* of its power to draw me in as a standalone. So much fucking talent in the transformative work community. The banter, characterization, sardonic-ness of this – international impact baby!”

Not Easily Conquered (series), by dropdeaddream & whatarefears (MCU)

2015, 117k, Steve/Bucky 

An incredibly, precise, gut-wrenching trilogy. Each part is astounding both together and apart. A devastating exploration of love and dedication. One of those fics that created a Fandom Moment. I sobbed through the entirety of part 2 when I first read it. Womb to tomb, sweetheart. 

Azoth by zeitgeistic (HP)

2013, 88k, Draco/Harry 

A stunning exploration of magic beyond JKR’s universe. A timeless coming together of two characters. A frankly genius use of a plot device (and something as simple as a school project) to foster an incredibly touching and meaningful relationship, one in which they are not able to find what they need to complete their task until they find what they need in each other.  ALCHEMY BABY! 

Honeysuckle Arch by junkshopdisco (1d) 

2015, 46k, Niall/Harry 

Perhaps the most I’ve ever related to a character in fic. The Niall of this fic lives in my heart, and I feel like reading him helps me understand myself, and everytime I come back to it I understand him better too. It’s a touching portrayal of a character coming to terms with their sexuality in a way that feels completely grounded and who is surrounded by characters who love them, even if they don’t always know how to show it. 

Nicole’s choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

Protostellar by ninamondays 

bts, 64k, pub 2019, Namjoon/Jungkook & Taehyung/Jimin

Space, cryogenics, fate, reincarnation, class struggles, revolution, climate change, character death. Having hope is punk rock. Processing grief is a slow and ugly process. [deep breath] Have I ever felt so profoundly touched by a fic while I was reading it?

the other thing by cornfields 

hockey rpf, 16k, pub 2015, Jamie/Tyler

An absolutely unflinching look at personal accountability and internalized homophobia. What happens when your self-hatred has collateral damage? It’s about healing but it’ll fucking hurt first. Bleached out vibes. Makes texas feel very big, and the world feel very, very small. A story I’d only trust a fic author to tell.

Top 5 picks: 

Murmuration by fringecity (indiachick) 

bts, 167k, pub 2018, Yoongi/Jimin/Taehyung

Film noir/murder mystery meets gritty sci fi and superpowers. Everyone is morally gray. You Will sob about Kim Taehyung. A masterclass in plot. Felt like a trilogy all wrapped tightly into one fic. A kaleidoscope. An unfurling. This fic mesmerizes.

The River and the Deep Green Bend by liquidmeasure 

1d, 70k, pub 2016, Harry/Niall

Dark tower au, but only technically. Makes me want to believe in the multiverse. An arid western, a sideways coming of age story, an elegy. The first time I’ve ever cried because an ending was perfect.

the undiscovered country by indigostohelit

hamlet, 56k, pub 2014, Hamlet/Horatio

What else can I say about this fic. What else can I Fucking say.

(note: we discuss this fic at length during episode 5) 

All Things Shining by Askance and standbyme

spn, 142k, pub 2013, Dean/Castiel & Sam/ofc

A story about miracles. Literary as hell, with long luxuriant scenes that never drag. Masterful characterization. The thing I wanted from spn fic—connection, plot, and a fic that not only can handle the lore of the show, but is willing to expand upon it.

Who Painted the Moon Black by throughthedark

1d, 95k, pub 2013, Louis/Harry

Hunger games crossover. Doesn’t just use the other fandom for setting, but entirely inhabits it. I had to stop partway through my reread because I knew I’d have nightmares, but this fic never stops hoping. Trauma is not an ending. This fic is certain of that the whole way through.

Reid’s Choices: 

Honorable Mentions: 

songs from the ash, by explosivesky, 2017

Critical Role, Percy/Vex, Keyleth/Vax, 54k, WIP (sort of)

rockstar/movie star AU 

A fantastic example of how fic can just standalone as really good original fiction. A lovingly rendered, devastating and beautifully crafted portrait of four broken people doing their best to navigate through their lives and around one another. 

delta, by sharpa, 2019

BTS, rapline ot3, 60k

What happens when you’re a public figure who gets unwillingly outed, and two people you used to love reach out to offer you sanctuary? You make Reid cry, that’s what. 

Top 5 picks: 

Salt on the Western Wind by Saras_Girl, 2013

Harry Potter, drarry, 60k

Immediately post war, bond

It represents a lot of what I was looking for when I started really getting into Drarry fic, which was an exploration of what canon wouldn’t give me. My favorite Drarry fics have always been the ones that let them dig into their shared trauma, and while this fic isn’t the heaviest one I’ve read, I think the fact that it’s set literally hours after the Battle of Hogwarts ends lends itself well to that concept. I couldn’t have a list of the decade without a Drarry fic, tbh.

The Great Sealand Takeover, by whalehuntingboyfriends, 2015

Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, ot6 (gavin, michael, ray, geoff, ryan, jack), 365k

FAHC

When I think about fics that set the standard for a fandom, this is one of the first ones that comes to mind. This fic means a lot to me because it was my introduction to RPF, and in addition to its intricate plot and fandom-constructed lore, also was a take on poly relationships and found families in a way I had never experienced before, with themes of belonging and a love that transcends typical convention.

The Twice-Told Tale by arysteia, 2012

Marvel, steve/tony, 15k

This fic hits a sweet spot for me where it does have some of that 2012 tower-fic nostalgia, but I also think it holds up well in terms of what I (and fandom) find so fascinating about Tony, which is all this grief and trauma that he struggles so hard to process, and the way puts himself at the center of attention to obfuscate the fact that he keeps everyone at a long arm’s length.

There Was an Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe, by Shoshanah-ben-hohim, 2015

Hockey, Sid/Geno, Canon Divergent, 77k

& the whole series, including There is a Field, I’ll Meet You There, Alex Galchenyuk/Olli Maata, 131k

When I think about this fic I want to scream from every rooftop I’ve ever been on “please read this fic”. The way it weaves together details to provide a level of grounding and realism in what sounds like the most absurd concept for a fic just floors me. The empathy and compassion and fear in this fic just gets at the most tender parts of my heart, and the fact that it’s ostensibly a ship fic, and yet Sid and Geno spend nearly the entire fic with no communication, but instead are just holding on to the innate truth that they know about one another to get them through this crazy endeavour they’re on elevates the entire fic for me.

what comes after, by poppyseedheart, 2018

Roosterteeth/Achievement Hunter RPF, mavinseg (gavin, meg, michael, lindsay), 36k

Dystopia/Spy AU

When I first read this fic, I finished it and I put it down and then I spent a few days feeling like I was just sort of wandering around in a haze because every single thought was consumed by this fic. In addition to its impeccable worldbuilding and the tone work that it does with its setting, I don’t know that I had ever resonated so deeply with fic characters before. Reading this felt like someone had pried my ribcage open one by one and revealed the softest, most tender parts of me and then went “I’m going to write something that targets this.” This fic is an ode to loss and love, to mourning something that you once had and then hesitantly and clumsily opening yourself up to building something new, and recognizing that, impossibly, that new thing you built can somehow be better than what you had before. 

And I felt all of these things, I felt like my world had just been shattered by this new author I discovered… and then, somehow, I became her friend. Then through Nic I met Brenna, and now when I think about this fic I not only love it for being a work of art, but also for being representative of the thing that brought me to two of the most important people in my life, and that to me will always make it my favorite fic I’ve ever read.

[itsana004]

Zexal month Day 2: Kattubingu brings us together

I have many favourite characters, but only few of them really really holds a special place in my heart, and those people are:

Kaito Tenjo, Haruto Tenjo, Droite, Chris Arclight, Ryoga Kamishiro, Rio Kamishiro

But I need to mention the Seven Barian Emperors and some families for sure

There were so many other interesting characters but I don't know why I didn't get attached to it...

Kaito Tenjo because...

Kaito Tenjo is a great character! Who doesn't love him? He was such an iconic character from day he appeared on the screen of my TV. I pretended to hate him but who was I kidding? My heart melted everytime I saw his face (exception of when he does the world domination pose lol). Apart from his amazing hair and very very handsome face, let's talk about his character. I love everything about him, I really love when he roasts Yuma and Shark and snaps when Heartland arrives again in Zexal II (oh the insults were priceless) but I mostly love his other character shown to people who he cares about, his caring side. He is also very selfless, proven when he was fighting for Haruto and in the moon. I also love his egao and pride XD but it can't never reach the level of egao Mizael has for himself. I could go on and on but let's stop here.

Haruto Tenjo because...

Do I need to say more? He such a cute and a sweet kid! He is the unlucky kid who developed the illness and this had led his father, Dr. Faker to cause many outrageous stuff, and Tron/Vetrix to lead more outregeous stuff. And who could blame him? He wasn't himself, what he did to the Astral world wasn't him, he was operated to survive with what Vector given them, and also lost every memories and his father and Heartland controlled him ;-; This is such a tragedy, everything he went through, but it was only to cure him. He was a kid and deserved to live. His caring character also makes him so lovable, his worry towards his brother, chocolate and everything is so cute! :3 And omg, he loves butterflies, and he also had a butterfly deck in the manga, yeet

Droite/Dextra/Dolowa because...

I know she is a secondary character and her character is very undeveloped but she holds a special place in my heart, I think it's because I always imagined how she could have been used based on her character. I really really had hope that she could beat Tron/Vetrix but my heart was broken at the end. But hell I loved how selfless she was, and so accepting! I don't care if she's older than one year, Priyanka Chopra is 10 years older than Nick Jonas and they got married and do you think I am gonna even care 1 year age gap! And I loved how caring she was towards Gauche, they had a beautiful brother and sister relationship and my thoughts were confirmed in Zexal II in the italian dub. She is also a very cool and collected person. I also loved her roasts to Yuma, like Kaito XD Droite is a rare type of character, she threatened Kaito (who fled away XD) to protect him against Tron, and later on, he really did lose. She also holds into those memories to feel strong! Strong enough to not have her memories taken easily. Maybe they didn't show in the dub but in the sub, before Nasch activated the card 7 Barian Force card, Dumon said "You're a tough one" so she really had a chance against them. But her lack of screentime and her role really reduced her to a minor character, like many other characters. But really interested me is her past, which made me theorise and think more. But she really did change my world and I am grateful that she's one of my top favourite female characters.

Chris Arclight/V because...

He is such a great character! The Arclights, in general, were great! In complete honesty, I hated him when I saw him the first, and all the other Arclights except for Michael/III. The reasoning of their revenge was so flawed, I mean I know you hate Dr. Faker for what he did and want him to feel the same way you feel, but why do that?! Kaito and Haruto did nothing to you and don't make things worse for them than it is, don't even dare to put hands on my precious babies! Of course, Tron is a villain so be it, but V? How could he? He was Kaito's mentor and he should know how he feels, the sons are not to be blamed for what their father has done. But after I saw the good side of him, I calmed down, and I actually got to like him and imagining all sorts of comical scenes inside their livelihoods in my head XD I got to love him as a character after I saw the roleplayers tbh. But then Zexal II came out, and their return made me so excited and loved him teaming up with his disceple and how much they humiliated Mizael for the first time in his life in a duel XD

Kamishiro twins because...

They are also my precious babies and I love both of them individually and together because they are one of the best siblings in my list.

Ryoga was just another school bully antagonist that becomes a good boy at the end... or that's what I thought. But I had no idea that he would be Yugi Muto 2.0, I mean he wasn't only the leader of the Barians, but was also a king, and was reincarnated into a human body, sounds familiar right? XD

But he is a great person inside, loves his sister to death, lots of egao XD, and he's so goddamn serious that everyone imagines comical scenes with him either with his sister, Barians, the trio they are (Yuma and Kaito), and Arclights obviously IV (I know you do don't lie). I also love his deck and his caring side towards Yuma, everyone finds him gay but I find that he's a trustworthy bud like any great friend, or Yuma would have died by now and they needed to make his caring side consistent. I know he betrayed Yuma in the end but deep down inside he was chasing him all along... oops sorry wrong line!-

Now let's talk about Rio. She was the only female who was treated fairly in Zexal II and I loved her sass and the way she handles her brother and speaks over him XD It's hilarious her phobia of cats but completely neutral about snakes. Her backstory is sad and she died like 3 or 4 times??? Forget about writers treating her fairly but I intended the role ^^ I was about to dislike her because they easily changed their minds and when they find other suspicious but they were their enemy now, but I never could dislike the Kamishiro's, they were just too precious and understood how they felt.

The 7 Barian Emperors

I love them lol.

I love Alito and Gilag's humour.

I love Mizael and his egao.

I love Dumon's precatious nature and his friendship towards Nasch

I love Vector's trolling side but dislike him as a person ^^' but I loved the one before he was cursed. Hey don't come at me it's just an opinion 😢 I don't like him as a person but I find it funny! Exception for his past, which was brutal. All of them has sad backstories, which made them more interesting and intriguing. I also dig in a bit looking into the location, the writer's did a pretty good job I would say and I found out more about them.

Now favourite friendships

Yuma and Astral: Do I need to say more???

Yuma x Ryoga x Kaito: They are the best tsun trio buds ever!

Kaito x Chris

Shark x IV

Kaito x Mizael: They are more like rivals but hopefully they will become friends

Alito x Gilag: They are just hilarious 😂

Rio x Tori

Favourite families

-Tenjos, Tsukumos, Arclights, Kamishiros

Okay, this blog is longer than it should have been so I am going to stop right here now ^^"

[caws5749]

This took SO LONG thanks @natthisback

1: Name Madison

2: Age 21

3: 3 fears spiders, not becoming a doctor, becoming like my parents

4: 3 things i love marvel movies, my blanket (whoops), and scrunchies

5: 4 turn ons compliment me, be chivalrous, (idk if this means sex turn on too or not but) moaning my n- ANYWHO uh and the last one definitely like showing you want me

6: 4 turn offs someone who only talks about themselves, being like wishy washy, being arrogant/cocky, complaining about the same things

7: my best friend that would be shea @cloversofshea

8: sexual orientation lesbian

9: my best first date okay SO this like isn’t a first date but it was my first like nicer dinner date so I’m gonna count it. It was just this past weekend actually and i just i loved it so much it was amazing

10: how tall am i 5’2

11: what do i miss honestly, feeling like i was good at things

12: what time were i born 11:14am

13: favorite color purple, although it’s slowly been turning to like a baby light pink

14: do i have a crush yes yes i do and i likes her a lot

15: favorite quote “Truth is a matter of circumstance. It’s not all things to all people all the time. And neither am I.”

16: favorite place Chicago or New York City

17: favorite food SALMON

18: do i use sarcasm yes, but i feel like i don’t use it as much as i used to

19: what am i listening to right now Christmas pop playlist on Spotify

20: first thing i notice in new person whether they only talk about themselves

21: shoe size 8 or 8.5

22: eye color blue

23: hair color right now, it’s a brown that goes to blond at my ends

24: favorite style of clothing so if this means like fav style to wear daily, definitely athleisure. If it means in general, i love love love preppy looks? But not super preppy.

25: ever done a prank call? Absolutely, many times

27: meaning behind my url i explain this in my about me page (linked in bio!)

28: favorite movie captain America winter soldier

29: favorite song i don’t really have favorite songs but rn it’s prob December night by Michael buble

30: favorite band i don’t really have fav bands

31: how i feel right now it’s really hot in here, so warm. I feel okay

32: someone i love i love lots of people but ill stick with @cloversofshea

33: my current relationship status I’ve answered this so many times literally just look at the ask game tag

34: my relationship with my parents um yikes

35: favorite holiday Halloween

36: tattoos and piercing i have i have 6 tattoos! “Breathe” on my right inner ankle, a heart on left shoulder, heart w equal sign in it behind right ear, basically an ecg on my left inner ankle, Aquarius symbol on right bicep, and caws 5749 on my left side. And my ears are pierced.

37: tattoos and piercing i want definitely the black widow symbol in the same place Scarlett got her og6 tattoo, an amino acid tattoo that spells out “wah” , definitely more little tattoos! And maybe more ear piercings idk

38: the reason i joined tumblr so, I’ve had a tumblr for many many years. I originally joined bc my best friends at the time had them, and i was like sure! Ive deleted that personal blog since, and started my new personal blog a few years ago. I also have a studyblr that i started i think back in high school, and i just started this blog back in the end of July!

39: do i and my last ex hate each other no, I’d say far from it bc i likes her a lot

40: do i ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts yes from her and i fucking love it, it used to be a bigger thing almost every day and i loved it

41: have i ever kissed the last person i texted lmao no and for those who were wondering it is @cloversofshea

42: when did i last hold hands LMAO WITH @michelinaamour WHEN I WAS STUMBLING HOME DRUNK IN HIGH HEELS

43: how long does it take me to get ready in the morning it depends, anywhere from ten minutes to an hour and a half

44: have you shaved your legs in the past three days no! I am super lucky and have really light colored hairs on my legs and so i dont’ have to shave very often. Also i just want to say that i personally love shaving my legs and it is my choice to do so.. girls, you do not need to shave!!

45: where am i right now so i started answering this in the research lab, but i am currently sitting at one of the dining places on campus finishing it

46: if i were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me LMAO DEFINITELY @michelinaamour because she’s done it ALREADY FOR ME MULTIPLE TIMES

47: do i like my music loud or at a reasonable level it depends, in car trips, definitely blast it. But just driving around or listening in doors, definitely reasonable level

48: do i live with my mom and dad nope i live with @michelinaamour

49: am i excited for anything yes, I’m excited for lots of things. I get excited easily

50: do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to no. I used to

51: how often do i wear a fake smile this is a really interesting question. I don’t consider smiles i give to random people like ordering food or something to be fake, so i would say fake smiles are when I’m not okay and trying to hide it. Which happens less often now bc I’m just much happier of a person

52: when was the last time i hugged someone I think it was @michelinaamour two days ago but i think i hugged @cloversofshea that day too so

53: what if the last person i kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me I’d be heartbroken tbh

54: is there anyone i trust even though i should not yes, certain adults in my life

55: what is something i disliked about today my hair won’t do what i want it to :(

56: if i could meet anyone on this earth who would it be probably Chris Evans or Scarlett Johansson

57: what do i think about the most tumblr and everything with that, or probably her or school stuff definitely

58: what’s my strangest talent i don’t think i have any lol

59: do i have any strange phobias yes definitely haha, I’m terrified of stepping on worms

60: do i prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it i think a few years ago i would have said behind, but honestly I think I’d love to be in front of the camera now

61: what was the last lie i told i actually don’t know. Maybe this past weekend as to like the fact that i was going out on a date instead of just going out with a friend

62: do i prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online I’d say talking on the phone bc then they cant’ see me lmao

63: do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Yes and yes

64: do i believe in magic? Yes, or at least, that’s what i tell myself

65: do i believe in luck yes

66: what’s the weather like right now snowy!

67: what was the last book I’ve ever read The Butchering Art, it’s about the history of surgery

68: do i like the smell of gasoline omg yes yes yes yes yes yes

69: do i have any nicknames yes, madz, madi, girl who lives by the kitchen, queen (a new one) and clown (also a new one) thanks @natthisback

70: what was the worst injury I’ve ever had back in freshman year of college, i did something stupid and my foot swelled up like hell and hurt so bad. There were no fractures detected but the swelling stayed for a really long time, as well as the bruising and pain, and it never returned to normal

71: do i spent my money or save it SPEND IT BABY

72: can i touch my nose w my tongue no I’m not that talented

73: is there anything pink in 10 ft from me. Hmm part of my backpack? And my rings are pinkish bc they are rose gold. Oh and my scrunchie is pink, as well as my iPad

74: favorite animal cat

75: what was i doing last night at 12am i was still at work In the emergency room!

76: what do i think satan’s last name is uh honestly Jim lmao (it’s demons Jim! @cloversofshea )

77: what’s a song that always makes me happy when i hear it so good by dove Cameron

78: how can you win my heart suggest we watch a marvel movie, and I’m prob straight up in love. There are other things too but they’re pretty general, like compliment me, show you want me ya know

79: what would i want to be written on my tombstone haha, as a joke, “so realy its very thing. Just to keep everyone guessing.” But idk something funny

80: what is my favorite word i have no idea, maybe like sophisticated or something like that or aesthetic , champagne is a good one too

81: my top 5 blogs on tumblr ooh! Okay so @markiplier @lesbian-deadpool @americasass-romanoff @lesbianmariahilll @shining-rey-of-sunshine but i love so so so so so many more, and i have a lot of top blogs

82: if the whole world were listening to me right now what would i say fuck trump also I’m gay as hell and I’m growing tired of hiding it from people

83: do i have any relatives in jail not that i know of

84: i accidentally eat some radioactive vegatables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super power of my choice! What is that power lmao this question is great. Prob same powers as Wanda

85: what would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on any weird fetis- JUST KIDDING. Do you still think about them?

86: what is my current desktop picture so on my laptop, it’s fall flowers. But since that’s broken af, i use my iPad and that background is one of the apple ones. It’s just a beach idk why but I’ve never changed it

87: had sex WHY IS THIS IN EVERY SINGLE ASK GAME WTF

88: bought condoms nope i am gay as hell bye

89: gotten pregnant nope i am gay as hell bye

90: failed a class nope, definitely come close though

91: kissed a boy yes

92: kissed a girl yes

93: have i ever kissed somebody in th rain honestly, probably at some point, but I’ve never had one of those romantic kisses in the rain. I really really want to though and i think about it a lot

94: had job yeah, I’ve had three true jobs

95: left the house without my wallet probably

96: bullied someone on the internet no bc I’m not a fucking douche

97: had sex in public not yet

98: played on a sports team yeah, played softball and basketball in middle school

99: smoked weed yeah, but i didn’t get high

100: did drugs nope

101: smoked cigarettes nope, i think i asked drunk once if i could smoke, but my friend was like “really?” And i was like uhhhhhh just kidding haha

102: drank alcohol lmao i drink fucking all the time i mean. I literally have drunk writing nights , I’m drinking tonight too

103: am i a vegetarian/vegan i was a vegetarian for a while, and then an aspiring vegan, and then vegetarian, and then pescatarian now!

104: been overweight no

105: been underweight yes

106: been to a wedding yeah, but like not for a long time. I was like 4 and the flower girl. Oh WAIT. Does playing a wedding count? I played cello at a wedding so i was there???

107: been on the computer for 5 hours straight hell yeah, how would i function not doing this with class and relaxing

108: watched tv for 5 hours straight lmao definitely

109: been outside my home country yeah

110: gotten my heart broken yeah

111: been to a professional sports game yeah. I don’t really do sports though , so when i go it’s usually in suites and I’m just there for the food

112: broken a bone nope!

113: cut myself this is...a. Really deep question but bc i want to be able to speak about mental health on here, the answer is yes.

114: been to prom yes! I went to my junior and senior proms!

115: been in airplane too many times

116: fly by helicopter no, I’m not sure if i want to do this or not

117: what concerts have i been to I’ve been to lots. So first off, I’ve been to hundreds of classical concerts (and performed in them). As for pop, Bruno mars twice, maroon five like three times. Selena Gomez. Josh groban. American authors. Definitely others that i don’t remember

118: had a crush on someone of the same sex yes I’m fucking gay

119: learned another language so if this means fluent, no. I took a decent amount of French and am learning Russian right now!

120: wore make up absolutely. When i choose to wear makeup, its because i fuckign love makeup haha. Most days I’m lazy though and like to let my skin breathe and be natural

121: lost my virginity before I was 18 no

122: had oral sex yeah

123: dyed my hair many times

124: voted in a presidential election okay i think so but honestly can’t remember. But I’m pretty sure i did.

125: rode in an ambulance no and i never want to.

126: had a surgery no and i never want to haha. Well i cant say that. Depending on how my life plays out, I might freeze my eggs or something.

127: met someone famous yes, several I think, but probably Henry winkler was the one I remember most.

128: stalked someone on a social network yeah

129: peed outside nope don’t think so and definitely don’t want to

130: been fishing yes I have been ice fishing and regular fishing

131: helped w charity i have!

132: been rejected by a crush I’ve been not liked back but i don’t think I’ve ever made like a move on a crush and been rejected

133: broken a mirror ooh i don’t think i have actually

134: what do i want for birthday nothing bc i dont’ like my bday

[hey-hamlet-bmc]

Be More Chill August 1st Previews Things

• The cardigan! It’s here! It looks the same as the original! Jeremy’s shirt is also red blue and yellow, but we saw it in some bts videos. Also: WILL DOESN’T WEAR HIS GLASSES THE WHOLE TIME which is an odd sight to see.

• Madeline didn’t tell Jake about pool. Chloe is complaining at the beginning of More Than Survive about Madeline not being French, essentially what she originally said about it during Be More Chill Pt. 1.

• Because of that, Jake’s line is different too. He says “She’s definitely French” while gesturing to his uh...area.

• When Jeremy holds the backpacks together, Michael gets this giddy look on his face and says “My mothers would be thrilled.” He also has not one but TWO rainbow patches. The rectangle one on his arm and a more rainbow shaped one on his shoulderblade.

• Brooke occasionally hums the tune to Do You Wanna Ride/Hang and is always playing with a straw.

• Mr. Reyes doesn’t work at Hobby Lobby anymore. He’s a teacher as well as a cafeteria worker now.

• Jeremy watching Christine sing I Love Play Rehearsal is the purest part of the musical.

• I’ve not heard anyone else mention this, and my friend said it didnt happen in the performance he saw, but when Jake is telling Christine about all the pressure he’s under to be the best, he just paused and dabs before continuing.

• Rich draws a dick on the urinal before using it.

• Mr. Reyes is in the bathroom when Rich enters and thinks he’s talking to him when he calls Jeremy tall-ass.

• There’s a new rappy part of the SQUIP Song where Rich tells Jeremy the ‘shit’ like thinking about washing his hands after peeing doesn’t matter when you have a SQUIP.

• Two-Player Game takes place on Jeremy’s bed, not bean bags. Which makes sense to me because the bean bags were at Jeremy’s house, not Michael’s, where everyone writes/draws them. This gets rid of the issue altogether.

• Two-Player Game just kinda seems a little less chummy now? They don’t mess around as much, I don’t think.

• The end of the song has a really cool graphic in place of the odd running-dance in the original. The journey to the mall is depicted by pixelated zombies as Jeremy and Michael fight past them á la Apocalypse of the Damned.

• I haven’t mentioned how Jason Williams’s costumes are so different so now’s the time. As Mr. Heere, he’s himself, but Mr. Reyes has glasses and a wig, and the Scary Stockboy has really exaggerated sideburns so the Wolverine comment is even more ridiculous.

• After Jeremy takes the SQUIP, Michael goes to Spencer’s like normal, but not for Crystal Pepsi. It’s Ghostbusters Ecto Cooler (which he says tastes like ghosts) and it’s apparently making a comeback right now IRL.

• Jake carries a huge jug of water around the mall AND his feelings about his parents come out a lot more.

• The SQUIP wears all whites instead of all darks.

• The SQUIP’s modes are different. Keanu Reeves, Lara Croft, and sexy anime female with cat ears and tail. So take that how you will.

• In the clothing store (I think it’s Forever 21?) Gerard and George’s mall characters bicker in the background over shirts.

• Chloe breaks a hanger in half when Jeremy says Madeline is French.

• Stephanie’s mall character is onstage the shortest amount of time but it’s okay because she steals the show with her incredibly slow electric scooter.

• Michael is in More Than Survive (Reprise) for a moment. He waves to an ignorant Jeremy in a classroom and eventually gives up trying to get his attention.

• I feel like I’m forgetting something from A Guy I’d Kinda Be Into but it’s more or less the same.

• Upgrade is very different! The end specifically, to split it into the new song. Upgrade no longer ends act one, but instead comes right before the new addition I’m sure most everyone has heard already, Loser Geek Whatever. The part Jeremy originally sang at the end after Michael shows up is what’s changed—the SQUIP and the ensemble now sing it, and Michael shows up afterward.

• Loser Geek Whatever is really good. It gives Jeremy more of a reason for what he’s doing and makes it harder to demonize him. It’s basically him convincing himself that he deserves the upgrade, despite being worried he may fail Michael.

• Jeremy’s hairstyle changes in act 2. It’s more flat Will Roland than messy bed head. He goes from Wirt from Over the Garden Wall to Jared Kleinman.

• Halloween is great! Some of the idle dialogue is different though.

• Also, Chloe doesn’t tell Jeremy Brooke is waiting upstairs. They just leave in the background during the song.

• Do You Wanna Hang is so...Chloe. She twerks in front of Jeremy.

• The SQUIP faceplants on the bed after Jeremy drinks from Chloe’s (baby bottle) flask.

• Michael in the Bathroom is like, exactly the same. Incredibly powerful, of course, but I think changing it would have made a lot of people angry. The way Jeremy calls Michael a loser right before the song reminds me of how Will portrayed Jared during Dear Evan Hansen’s Good For You. He’s not as angry as Will Connolly, but sounds almost heartbroken, as if Jeremy really is upset he ‘has’ to do this to Michael.

• Will Roland’s laugh is really taken for granted when Jeremy and Christine chat.

• You see Rich argue with his (female sounding) SQUIP, and see him grab a can of gasoline.

• The SMARTPHONE HOUR!! Jenna’s got a lot of vocalized parts added the day I saw the show that were just AMAZING (Tiffany Mann is phenomenal and I’m lucky to have heard her voice in person)

• Chloe has a retainer that she just THROWS off stage.

• Brooke throws a fake banana twice as hard and twice as far. She just yeets it.

• The stage lights up in flames when they sing about the fire.

• The ensemble does that weird flossing dance in sync and it looks ridiculous.

• Gerard cartwheels and George does a really high jump split.

• THE SCREEN IN THE BACK SHOWS A SELFIE OF JENNA WITH THE HOUSE FIRE.

• The Pitiful Children starts about Christine, not how Jeremy was always a loser. The whole conversation about “that is to say you’ve had experience with the opposite sex” doesn’t happen. Instead of Jenna, Jeremy sees Christine troubled in the hallway. He talks to her and she tells him she knows about SQUIPs. A kid from her theatre camp got one and is now in a mental hospital, like the guy Michael found out about. That’s what leads to her walking away from him angrily saying she doesn’t need a pill to help her figure herself out.

• Then Jenna shows up and it’s basically the same from there.

• Jeremy’s clothes are all dark and emo chic when he argues with his dad.

• “Do you love him?” “........Wut?”

• Michael wasn’t burning his possessions.

• The fact that Christine knew about SQUIPs and turned Jeremy down just makes the part when you find out she drank from the beaker during the play so much more heartbreaking tbh.

• Jenna’s “I know what everyone’s doing” little spiel is to the tune of The Smartphone Hour instead of just kinda spoken, which is nice!

• Jake really does just pour the Mountain Dew Red out and Michael and Jeremy just sit there watching, individually.

• Rich is still bi! He asks if Michael is single after Jeremy says they aren’t dating.

• Michael RUNS to Jeremy’s hospital bed.

• Rich’s lisp is so good...so pure.

• During Voices in My Head, Michael is by Rich’s bed and hurts him twice while dancing.

• Christine’s SQUIP is Ruth Bader Ginsberg, the real old lady on the Supreme Court.

• Jeremy and Christine still end up going on their lunch date. This makes less sense than it did originally. Before, she says no to him on Halloween and ends up saying yes at the hospital anyway, but now, along with her rejection on Halloween, she is angry at Jeremy for using a SQUIP to talk to her, which to me makes it less acceptable for her to agree to go out with him. It would have been fine I think if they left it vague enough so it could be interpreted as platonically or romantically going out for lunch, but the two of them make out pretty hard during the instrumental.

• Overall: 100/10, would recommend.

[moviegroovies]

okay so one of my points in the original incoherent longpost ramble i wrote while fending off the the post-lost boys haze that overtook me after watching it for, i believe, the fifth time, was that i thought the reason it was such a good movie was how quickly it checked the “oh, i like these characters and want to think about them now that the movie is over” box. in that post, i then proceeded to not talk about the thoughts i’ve actually been having about these characters at all, so let’s get down to work and try to fix that, shall we?

okay i was going to just write another impossible to read multiple paragraph long post, but y’know, how about i make things easier on all of us and do this in bullet points. so, in no particular order..... headcanons!

despite her later desire to get out of the gang, star wasn’t tricked or pressured into becoming a vampire like michael was. rather, she had been hanging around them for long enough that she pieced together what they were and asked to join, only coming to realize that it would mean killing other people for her own continued survival and wanting out later on.

in the 6-issue lost boys comic, it’s implied that star has cystic fibrosis, informing her decision to become a vampire. i’m definitely not taking all of that comic into my own personal canon, but i stand by that part--esp. bc it fits with vampirism being her decision, even if it was one she later regretted. 

marko is the smallest of the lost boys, but also the most dangerous, even exceeding david. have you seen that part where he’s peeling a man’s head like a fruit? that bitch is BLOODTHIRSTY.

not that he’s exactly an upstanding citizen on his own, but a good deal of the reason that david abuses exercises his control over the other boys is that he knows that they (but marko in particular) are always just about ten minutes and one show of weakness on his end away from staging a coup, and he knows that with anyone else in charge (save maybe dwayne, but dwayne isn’t interested in the leadership role) the group would become too violent and draw too much attention, getting them all killed.

okay now i feel like i’m vilifying marko which. i definitely stand by what i’ve said, but i also don’t think he’s like, pure evil or anything by any means. i like marko! 

i feel like i owe marko some nice headcanons now so like: i agree with the general consensus that marko cares for the pigeons in the vampire hotel, to the point where he feeds them and maybe talks to them. he DEFINITELY has named them all, although honestly he can’t tell them apart that well so usually when he sees one and calls it a specific name, he’s fucking with everyone else. loves to make fun of the other guys for not knowing which one is which, though.

one day he looks at a bird flying into the cave and casually announces “hey, vlad’s back,” and after hardly a glance, michael deadpans “vlad? that’s lestat.” 

marko goes into existential crisis mode for a week. this is the first time he starts to respect david’s decision to make michael one of them. 

he never figures out if michael was just fucking with him the way everyone else or if he could really tell the difference between the pigeons and it haunts him to this day.

ok wow that was a LOT of marko

back to star: she’s trans. you know that part on the boardwalk where she and michael are introducing themselves to one another for the first time, and michael goes “oh, your parents too, huh,” when she says her name is star? i always felt like she didn’t really get what he was saying, even after michael elaborated and told her he meant that her parents were ex-hippies. now i’m totally choosing to read that as her being like, a little offended that he thought someone would only be named star because they were burdened with it by uncool ex-hippie parents, because honestly when she picked it she thought she had the coolest name of all time. 

i will not take constructive criticism on that last part because it is already perfect.

on the subject of star, the general consensus i’ve seen in fic and stuff is that she had been a vampire for a few months or maybe a year before the events of the movie, but honestly i’d disagree.

personally, i feel like she’s been there for a lot longer than that--like, have you seen how she dresses? that immediately pinged “free spirit hippie girl” to me, which was kind of out of place, especially considering that everyone else dressed so 80′s. imo, star might have been turned as early as the start of the 70′s--making her the ex-hippie, and not her parents, like michael assumed. this fic here (which is SO good, by the way) explains the way that she was able to last a year with the hunger while michael was already struggling after about a week by having star steal sips from david’s bottle to tide her hunger when she could. that’s basically the way i see it, too, tbh, except over a longer time scale--rather than one year, something around 15. 

which means star is nearly as old as michael’s mother. oops.

alright, it’s weird, but i don’t actually think it’s that weird. the way i’m choosing to see vampirism in this universe is that it permanently halts the emotional maturity of the vampire at whatever age they get turned; david and the guys are nearly grown, at ages like, 18-22 or so, but not quite, and they’re never going to grow up and out of their immature mindset. the worst is for laddie, who’s permanently stunted around 8 years old. the others respond to this with a certain degree of pity, but since he doesn’t actually know what he’s missing, it mostly translates to a really rabid older brother/sister instinct. heaven help anyone who tries to pick on that kid--they’re immediately going to face 5 angry vampire dudes and one absolutely enraged vampire chick. 

(not to mention that his emotional immaturity means he’s got no real self control over the hunger he feels... if he ever snaps and becomes a full vampire, he’ll be the most dangerous of the group for a plethora of reasons)

on that note, if i were to list the lost boys by most control over their urges to least (or, y’know, least to most actively bloodthirsty), i think it’d be something like this: michael -> david -> star -> dwayne -> marko -> paul -> laddie, with the caveat that while marko is technically better at controlling himself than paul, paul has more moral reservations about the actual act of violent murder, while marko is more inclined to kill for fun. 

david being so high on that list may be a point of contention for some but tbh i feel pretty strongly about it

a majority of that call for me comes from the unmade screenplay for the lost boys: the beginning, a prequel to the film set in 1906. before reading that, i honestly had different headcanons entirely, and a lot less sympathy for david, but if you take the script as canon, i think a lot of things change about his characterization.

in the script, the four main lost boys are together (plus one other member named jasper, which is the only crossover name between the lost boys and twilight) as a petty gang before they became vampires. the start of the movie sees them pickpocketing to try and pay for a place to sleep that night, and david seems to luck out early, lifting a wallet with a $100 bill inside. 

however, when he realizes the guy has a family, including two babies, and he just took everything the guy has, he gives the wallet back, to marko’s intense dismay. 

basically, david starts out a criminal, and he definitely does care about self preservation above most other things, but he still has morals. later, when the movie’s big bad is pressuring him and the others to drink blood and live eternally, he’s the only one who refuses, spitting out the wine when he’s forced to drink it and showing the others that it’s blood. notably, even before that he’s warning his friends that they don’t have to drink it if they didn’t want to (mirroring the way that star told michael he didn’t have to drink of the bottle), protecting not just himself, but also them. he resists becoming a vampire the longest, too; david refuses to join the movie’s villain, even after the other lost boys have been turned, right up until he’s shot by some military men in a scuffle and it’s a matter of life and death. then, his self preservation wins out, but even once he’s been turned, david doesn’t lose who he used to be. 

tl; dr: i feel like david is a better person than the events of the movie alone would have you think.

in my opinion, he’s been looking out for his friends from the very beginning, and he’s never stopped doing that. yeah, even before he turned, he was a crook and kind of a burnout, but he had morals. i’m not going to deny that david enjoys being a vampire--enjoys drinking blood, the physical rush, the power over people who pushed him around--not by any means. i just think that comes from an understandable place, given that he was a streetrat who got pushed around a lot in the events of that script; he likes that he’ll never be a victim to assholes with knives who are bigger than he is again. 

plus, if you look at the people the lost boys kill over the course of the movie, they’re not exactly innocent victims. there’s the asshole cop who restrained david with a baton to his throat for pretty much just the act of putting his hand on a dude’s face, a jerkass who starts fights on boardwalks, steals comic books, and ignores his girlfriend’s protestations in the car when he’s trying to make out with her, the girlfriend, who stuck by him while all that shit was going down (and was reading one of the stolen comics, if i interpreted that scene correctly--not that this means she necessarily deserved to die, but she wasn’t innocent), and a bunch of assholes calling themselves surf nazis. david and his gang only go after people who have started the fight themselves in some way or another, and i think that david is a big part in keeping it that way--he’s the one who deescalates the tension on the carousel to keep things from an all out bloodbath, after all, and was the one keeping the gang in check since the turn of the century from doing anything too unforgivable for their own gain. that to me says he’s got a pretty good grasp of self control, and he keeps the gang to a level of violence that sustains their bloodlust without being totally gratuitous as much as possible.

re: his placement on the sliding scale of vampiric self control, you might be wondering why i put michael at the absolute top. honestly, it’s not that i think he’s a saint or anything. i just think he was the one member of the gang (jury’s out on laddie, but he’s automatically at the bottom because of his age and inability to control himself) who didn’t make a conscious choice, one way or another, to become a vampire. marko, dwayne, and paul gave into the temptation of the prequel’s big bad. david and star were given the choice between vampirism and death, and chose to live. michael, though--michael gave into peer pressure, but the worst crime he committed was drinking some wine. watching the others kill absolutely fucked him up, but he was able to resist any kind of bloodlust that might have had him joining in the slaughter on the beach that night. when pushed to the absolute wall by david in the ending of the movie (an ending you might have noticed i’m completely ignoring in favor of a full gang inc. laddie, star, and michael for my headcanons lol), his strength was tested against david’s and he won. michael isn’t perfect or superhuman, but he’s making the choices an essentially good, normal human being would make, and when everyone around him for one reason or another chose what they have, he’s got that tiny bit of a head’s up on them that makes all the difference. 

tbh tho, i think david was right when he said there was something of a killer in michael. i think on some gruesome level he’s kind of fascinated with the vampirism he’s fallen in with, which makes him more susceptible than, say, sam, or really any of the other emersons, who would rank above him on that scale, were they vampires too.

paul to me is just a fun happy dude. i was endeared to him when he clapped michael on the back after he drank and announced, totally earnestly, “you’re one of us!” i just, you know, liked his eagerness to welcome in a new friend. tbh i think he’s a bit of a ditzy airhead (or, dare i say it, a himbo), but he’s ultimately got his heart in the right place.

i really like dwayne. i like that he’s the quietest of the group (i saw a headcanon that said he didn’t speak that much because he’s got a stutter he’s embarrassed of, which i have absorbed into my canon), but i especially like that he does speak--to laddie, telling him what’s going on when he’s riding on the back of his bike. other than star, i think dwayne’s the most protective of him, and probably the most “maternal” of the guys. he’s under star in the sliding scale thing because to me he doesn’t really have qualms with killing assholes to survive, but at the same time, he’s never really tempted to take more than he needs, like marko is. 

i like the idea that dwayne’s really into music, like, ‘can name the artist, album, and song title of any song made since 1890 from the first line’ into music. immortality is a hell of a thing for music buffery. 

ok i have sooooooooo much more i want to say, i didn’t even realize i’d put together this many thoughts about this movie but Apparently I Have, holy god, but i need to cut off this post at some point sgfdshgh

one more fun marko one: totally love the hc that he paints, especially that he paints murals on the cave wall. artist boy.....

<3

[larenoz]

Roswell New Mexico Live Rewatch - Ep 2 - So Much For The Afterglow

Buckle up bitches here we go!

Rosa and choices. mmm

Truth, so much in the eye of the beholder.

Creepy Max at the cemetary

"it'll be our secret" - "another one"

no kidding

Because you don't want to leave Liz.

Liz still wants to kiss max.

"It's been ten years, you don't know me like you think you do"

The show is many things, subtle is not one of them.

Sorry, chockie bickie break.

"way in to Tolstoy, really nice handwriting for a guy"

Fuck I love that line.

"It's just a kiss, Max"

Liz, Liz, Liz, babe, it is sooo much more than that to poor Maximo

Fuck you Jesse Manes, die in a fire.

Just shut the fuck up.

Seriously, a fucking crash landing is not a "incident of agression" you souless fuck.

Fuck me Trevino's eyes of stunning.

Ah legacies.

The Valenti Code

Kyle, Kyle, Kyle even saying they're alive is uncool dude.

Red Level Threats

Even at this stage Kyle wants to tell Jesse to fuck off.

"Brooding level, teenage girl on a family vacation", No "roadtrip with grandparents"

And this was the line where I started to dig Jenna.

Cause seriously, that is spot on.

Temper, temper Max

Michael and Isobel, this is very, very uncool of you.

And the knife, Michael, very uncalled for.

Now Iz, no slut shaming

TBh, I can't really fault Max for hitting Michael here.

They were threatening Liz

probably, but still super shitty thing to do.

But interesting that the convo indicates that Max getting physical with Michael is out of character.

I don't care, I love the antenna hat. I want one. They should be the official Roswell fan uniform

Arturo is a such a sweety.

It's so sad that Liz thinks Rosa didn't love her.

Arturo advising forgiveness and moving forward. Nice forshadowing

Michael and his cool entries

Michael you cocky bastard.

And Americans should not be allowed to use berets in their military uniforms until they fucking learn to wear them properly.

Fucking just grabs his shirt and leans into this personal space.

But Alex is not having it.

Lips and tongoue

God my poor baby Michael. Deflection to cover his hurt feelings.

And Alex, why Alex? He wants you why push him away?????

"what happened, I was pretty wasted" No you fucking weren't

No Alex, you do NOT get to do a snort of disgust. No, fucking siree

God, Michael face after the santa's workshop comment and Alex walking away. He's so gone for him.

Kyle, I love you.

"mid make out abdondoment was very sophmore year"

He could't so easily have been a douche bag about it, but no, he let's Liz know it's cool between them.

It's not a bruise Kyle. you sneaky bastard

"You can trust me"

see the chemicals that made the bad choices.

"maybe I just need something else to blame" well....

And again with some damn solid and mature advice. You go Kyle.'

"don't focus on the science, focus on the memories" well doesn't that have a double meaning

Izzy and Noah

"Belt buckles as a secret metaphor for emotions"

I think someone needs to do a belt buckle analysis.

"Are you sassing Jesus"

Good one Max

Yeah, and that is such great imagery and really does sum up his character in alot of ways.

Max and his fear of what happens to miracle workers. I think it's easy to underestimate the impact of Max's powers compared to the others. In that his are more obvious and do come with more moral judgement at both their use and non-use.

And here we go with the memories part as forshadowed earlier

Rosa flash backs. They look so happy.

Totally

"if you're done praying or whatever" Don't ever change Jenna

I really need her to come back in S2

I blame Due South for my "shot of cops with great backs in well tailored police uniforms kink" which Max's totally hits as he exits the church.

You know the scene I'm talking about, am I rite?

God, I still hate VV after all these years.

But I digress

Michael and Iz. I love how they are.

Day brooding.

It's not about the job Iz

Hmm I think I'm gonna have to go Liz and Mikey

And now they are going to break my heart again.

Jesus Michael, these little fucking truth bombs he just drops. How the fuck can people not see his pain when he just fucking lays out there all the time?

It' really makes me hate them sometimes.

The foster ranch being the last place he saw his family and then gone  - yet another place that felt a little bit like a home taken away from him. And they make jokes.

"maybe, maybe someone would come take me home" fucking hell. Michael

Jenna being a total badass

The way she looks Wyatt in the eye as she shots out the truck tyre!! Gold

Sorta love the way Racist Hank is impressed laughing in the background

Alex in civies!! And Maria!!

And here comes a big bunch of lies that will have big consequences.

Yes he did get kind of hot Maria.

"I hadn't notice" I was going to say that Alex is a lying liar who lies. But really he isn't because he's ALWAYS thought Michael was hot.

"I did it for attention"

Nice slip Max

Maybe but I think Alex is still too in his keep things secret/private headspace

"what night?"

That's the night she died

Ah shit is about to go down...

fake autopsy you say...

murdered by an alien

More truth bombs about to land

We're family - no we're not

He tries to play it off, but it hurt that he got left behind at the group home.

I just want to give him a hug.

Yes, there is someone Michael would risk everything for. And we know who it is

Gods, the longing on Michael's face when he looks at Alex.

I actually think it gets worse every time I see it!!

Seriously, just to solidfy how big a douche bag these guys are. Who beats up Arturo??

And a bit of political commentary

Uh oh. not good for Max. Liz is not a happy camper

Max, what the fuck!

Damn he looks good in the hat

Iz with that damn taser. You go girl!

Little bit hypocritical on the judge  and jury thing there Michael.

Pod Squad moment

Who's the guy?

Museum guy

Home can be a person.

Jesus this show is good at ripping my heart out.

Yeah, they are going to have to be very careful how they repair that relationship

Weather metaphors

The handprint faded.

Don't lie max, don't do it.

Annnnnnd there is my men wearing silver bracelets kink, thanks Max

Oh that look Liz gives him. That is NOT a good look.

Please stop, I have no heart left to rip out.

The ship glass is still pretty

Oh god, there is the song starting

And the photo, and his hand

The God of Wine goes crashing..

Fuck, I'm not ready for this.

Everything about the next 2 mins is just aarrrggghhhhhhh!

Alex, baby, no he's not going to Tenessee.

Alex just looks so young and vulnerable in this scene. He looks more like a teenager here than in 1.06

Fuck, here it comes.

"Who I was, when this started, before I went to war"

Confirmation that there was a "this", that it's still something.

Jesus I don't know who does their costuming, makeup and hair but fuck me they need to win an award. Michael just glows.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.

"I never look away, no really"

fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck

That fraction of a second where Michael thinks Alex is walking a way again.

Such a juxtaposition between Max/Jenna and Michael/Alex. Max looks pained (not in a good way) with Jenna.

But Michael and Alex do not.

Fuck, the way Michael looks like he wants to devour Alex before pushing him on the bed.

And Alex, going for his belt and pants...

And Liz and kyle.

Who did this?

"Even if it was Max Evans"

Well, that was a bit quicker than last week.

And again, we got a jam packed episode with lots of story progress.

Having the story actually move so much from week to week is so rare these days. I love it.

But those last 3 mins. That is some of the best tv

------

I really hate Tumblr sometimes. Cause I know there were more appropriate gifs out there to use but this hellsite wouldn’t let me find them.

[dillydedalus]

what i read in july

THAT’S MORE LIKE IT aka i’m finally out of the (relative) reading slump for good & my bro james joyce was there

men explain things to me, rebecca solnit the original mansplaining essay is great, and still scarily relevant; the others in this collection (most on feminist issues) are also quite good; some aspects are a bit dated & problematic so be aware of that. 2.5/5

erschlagt die armen!, shumona sinha (tr. from french, not available in english) short but very impactful novella about a young french woman, originally from india, who works as an interpreter in the asylum system and becomes more & more broken by this system of inhumane bureaucracy and suffering, until she snaps and hits a migrant over the head with a wine bottle. full of alienation and misery and beautiful but disturbing language - the title translates to ‘beat the poor to death’ so like. yeah. 3.5/5

fire & blood: a history of the targaryen family I, george r r martin look, it’s a 700-page-long fake history book about a fictional ruling dynasty in a fictional world, and i’m just That Obsessed & Desperate about asoiaf (and i don’t even care about the targs That Much). anyway, now i know more about the targs than any ruling family from, you know, real history, which is like, whatever. this is pretty enjoyable if you are That Obsessed, although i will say that some bits are much better than others (there are some dry dull years even in everyone’s fav overly dramatic dragon-riding incest-loving family) and the misogyny really is. a lot. too much. way too much. BUT i did really like Good Best Queen Alysanne (her husband king joe harris is alright too i guess) and i found my new westerosi otp, cregan stark/aly blackwood, who both have Big Dick Energy off the fucking charts. 3.5/5 (+0.5 points for cregan and aly’s combined BDE)

the old drift, namwali serpell hugely ambitious sprawling postcolonial nation-building novel about zambia, told thru three generations of three families, as well as a chorus of mosquitoes (consistently the best & smartest parts). there is A LOT going on, in terms of characters, of plot points, of references to history (the zambian space programme) and literature (finally my knowledge of heart of darkness paid off) and thematically, and honestly it was a bit too much, a bit too tangled & fragmented & drifty, and in the end i probably admire this book more than i liked it, but serpell’s writing is incredibly smart and funny and full of electrical sparks 3.5/5

a severed head, iris murdoch the original love dodecahedron (not that i counted). iris murdoch is fucking WILD and i love her for it. this is a strange darkly funny little farce about some rich well-educated londoners and their bizarre & rather convoluted love lives. not as grandiosely wild as the sea the sea, but fun nevertheless. 3/5

midnight in chernobyl, adam higginbotham jumping on the hype bandwagon caused by the hbo series (very weird to call the current fascination with chernobyl a hype bandwagon but you know). interesting & well-written & accessible (tho the science is still totally beyond me) & gets you to care about the people involved. lots of human failure, lots of human greatness, set against the background of the almost eldritch threat of radioactivity (look up the elephant foot & see if you don’t get chills), and acute radiation syndrome which is THE MOST TERRIFYING THING ON EARTH . 3.5/5

normal people, sally rooney honestly this is incredibly engrossing & absorbing once you get used to how rooney completely ignores ‘show don’t tell’ (it works!), i pretty much read the whole thing in one slow workday (boss makes a dollar, i make a dime so i read books on my phone on company time, also i genuinely had nothing to do). i also think rooney is really good at precisely capturing the ~millenial experience in a way that feels very true, especially the transition from school to uni. BUT i really disliked the ending, the book never engages with the political themes it introduces (esp. class and gender) as deeply as it could and the bdsm stuff never really gets TIED UP LOL. so overall idk: 3.5/5

störfall: nachrichten eines tages, christa wolf quiet reflective undramatic little book narrated by a woman waiting to hear about the outcome of her brother’s brain surgery on the day of the catastrophe at chernobyl - throughout the day she puts down her thoughts about her brother and the events unfolding at chernobyl, as well as the double uncertainty she is trying to cope with. really interesting to read such an immediate reaction to chernobyl (the book came out less than a year after chernobyl). 2.5/5

the man in the high castle, philip k dick it was fine? quick & entertaining alternative history where the axis powers win the war, some interesting bits of worldbuilding (like the draining of the mediterranean which was apparently a real idea in the early 20th century?) but overall it’s just felt a bit disjointed & unsatisfying to me. 2.5/5

fugitive pieces, anne michaels very poetic & thoughtful novel about the holocaust, grief, remembrance & the difference between history and memory, intergenerational trauma, love, geology and the weather. i’m not sure how much this comes together as a novel, but it is absolutely beautifully written (the author is a poet as well) and very affective. 3.5/5

american innovations, rivka galchen short collection of bizarre & often funny short stories about neurotic women whose furniture flies away, or who grow an extra breast, or who are maybe too occupied with financial details. very vague & very precise at once, which seems to be the thing with these sort of collections. 3/5

fool’s assassin (fitz & the fool #1), robin hobb YAASS i’m back in the realm of the elderlings!!! i thought this was one of the weaker installments in the series - i still enjoyed it a lot, and Feelings were had, but it just doesn’t quite fit together pacing-wise & some of the characterisation struck me as off (can i get some nuance for shun & lant please?) and tbh fitz is at peak Selfcentred Dumbass Levels & it drove me up the fucking wall. molly, nettle & bee deserve better. still, completely HYPE for the rest of the trilogy. 3.5/5

JAMES JOYCE JULY

note: i decided not to read dubliners bc it’s my least fav of joyce’s major works & too bleak & repetitive for my mood right now AND while i planned not to reread finnegans wake bc……. it’s finnegans wake…. i kinda do want to read it now (but i also. really don’t.) so idk yet.

a portrait of the artist as a young man, james joyce y’all. i read this book at least once a year between the ages of 15 and 19, it’s beyond formative, it is burnt into my brain, and reading it now several years later it is still everything, soaring and searing (that searing clarity of truth, thanks burgess) and poetic and dirty, and stephen is baby, and a pretentious self-important little prick and i love him & i am him (or was him as only a pretentious self-important teenage girl reading joyce can be him - because this truly is a book that should be read in your late teens when you feel everything as intensely and world-endingly and severely as my boy stephen does and every new experience feels like the world changing). anyway i love this book & i love stephen dedalus, bird-like, hawk-like, knife-blade, aloof, alienated, severe and stern, a poet-priest-prophet if he could ever get over himself, baby baby baby. 5/5

exiles, james joyce well. there’s a reason joyce is known as a novelist. this is….. a failed experiment, maybe. a fairly boring play about an adulterous love-square and uh… love beyond morality and possession maybe??? about how much it would suck for joyce to return to ireland??? and tbh it’s not terribly interesting. 2/5

travesties, tom stoppard a wild funny irreverent & smart antic comedy inspired by the fact that during ww1, james joyce, lenin, and dadaist tristan tzara were all in neutral zurich, more or less simultaneously; they probably never met, but in this play they do, as dadaist poetry, socialist art critique, and a james joyce high on his own genius & in desperate need of some cash while writing ulysses, AND the importance of being earnest (joyce is putting on a production of it) all collide in the memories of henry carr, who played algernon & later sued joyce over money (tru facts). not my fav stoppard (that’s arcadia) but it’s funny & fizzy & smart & combines many many things that i love. 4/5 

ulysses, james joyce look i’m not really going to tell y’all anything new about ulysses, but it really has everything, it’s warm & human(e) & cerebral & difficult & funny & sad & healing & i always get a lot out of it even tho there’s bits (a lot of them) i’ll never wrap my head around. ultimate affirmation of humanity or whatever. also stephen dedalus is baby. 5/5

dedalus, chris mccabe the fact that this book (sequel to ulysses about what stephen dedalus might have done the next day) exists and was published ON MY BIRTHDAY is proof that the universe loves me. 

anyway this is very very good, very very clever, extremely good at stephen (less good at bloom but his parts are still good), engages w/ ulysses, portrait & hamlet (& others) very cleverly & does some cool meta and experimental shit. y’all it has stephen talking to a contemporary therapist about how he’s stuck in joyce’s text which is all about joyce & very little about whoever stephen is when he’s not joyce’s alter ego/affectionate but slightly amused look at younger self and ithaca is an interview w/ the author about how his relationship to his dad influenced his response to ulysses and I’M INTO IT. the oxen of the sun chapter replaces the whole ‘gestation of english prose’ w/ just slightly rewriting the first pages of about 10 novels published between ulysses and now & it does lolita w/ “bloom, thorn of stephen’s sleep, light in his eyes. his sire, his son’ and i lit. screamed. anyway i don’t want to give this 5 stars (yet) bc i think some of the experimental stuff ended up a bit gimmicky & didn’t add that much to the text but fuck. that’s my boy & i want to reread it right now. 4.5/5 ALSO it’s a crime no literary weirdo woman has written ‘a portrait of the artist’s sister’ about delia ‘dilly’ dedalus, shadow of stephen’s mind, quick far & daring, teaching herself french from a 3rd hand primer while her father drinks the nonexistent family fortune away and her older brother is getting drunk on a beach & starting fights w/ soldiers bc he’s a smartarse

[mtvswatches]

Jane the Virgin 1x19 Chapter Nineteen

Spoilers disclaimer (please read before sending messages or writing comments.)

Click here for previous recaps!

Stray thoughts

1) Are they bringing up that cringy flower metaphor because Jane is going to have sex?

2) Look, if you go through the seven stages of grief overnight, maybe the relationship that you’re grieving didn’t mean that much, to you to begin with…

3) OH FUCK, YOU’RE SHITTING ME!!

And what do you know? I finally agree with Rafael. He’s making a lot of sense – it’s true that it’s better to call it off before the baby is even born, which would complicate things so much more AND IT’S THE EXACT REASON WHY I ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY SHOULDN’T HAVE GOT TOGETHER AT ALL. And they shouldn’t stay together just not to “give up” – not if they’re always fighting! That’s how toxic relationships begin…

4) What is Roman planning to do with Petra? Also, murderer confirmed. He did kill his brother. Harsh.

5) I really, really hope they don’t stretch out this Xiomara-lying-to-Rogelio thing.

6) Ugh this is really exasperating!

She’s holding on to this glorified idea of a fairy tale romance and she doesn’t accept the reality that’s in front of her, which is that they’re not right for each other, at least not right now. I’M SO FUCKING TIRED OF THIS PLOT ISTG

7) COUPLE’S THERAPY?!!! Seriosuly??¡asdjlasdladaldlkasda

I’m sorry but how can’t she realize that if you need couple’s therapy after dating for what?, two months?, then maybe you’re not as meant to be as you think you are. THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!

8) Okay, that whole scene where Rafael and Jane describe their relationship in a nutshell was absolutely hilarious. So much shit has happened this season, it’s insane!

9) So Roman is basically taking over Rose’s drug-dealing “business.”

10) Petra is resourceful af, I love her. Let’s just hope she doesn’t get caught when she tries to use the cell phone.

11) PLEASE, RAFAEL, PLEASE, I’M BEGGING YOU HERE, DON’T BE WILLING TO DO THE WORK TO FIX THINGS. JUST DON’T. I’M EXHAUSTED. I CAN’T HANDLE THIS ANYMORE.

12) Wait. I just had a terrifying thought. They’ve brought up the sex thing, and Jane is desperately trying to make things work with Rafael for some reason. Does this mean that she will have sex with him in a last ditch effort to “save their relationship”? I don’t know if I’ll be able to survive that shit.

13) Andie is a shady bitch and I hope she’s gone soon, k? Thx, bye.

14) This is such an iconic masterpiece…

(I tried to find a video link for this scene, but I couldn’t, and I was afraid if I kept digging I’d get spoiled about something.)

15)  OMG

16) I’d forgive him.

17) OMG!!!!!!

That’s probably the best out-of-context line ever.

18) Why doesn’t she just run away?

19) Okay, good, she eventually ran. It just would’ve made more sense to ran first and make the phone call when she was away from him.

20) Oh, cool, she impaled Roman again.

21) They’re reading out these lists they wrote weeks ago, but I remember Rafael cheated because he showed his to Jane since she was freaking out about them not knowing each other well enough. UGHHHH AND NOW THEY’RE BACK TOGETHER???!!!! IS THIS MY PERSONAL VERSION OF HELL?!!! IT’S STARTING TO FEEL LIKE IT!

22) Uh-oh…

I think we’ll see how Rogelio and Xiomara deal with the exact same situation…

23) They’re going to have sex, aren’t they?

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH

24) Bless your kind soul, Nick, you’re literally godsend!

25) Bless Xiomara for being the voice of reason.

26) What, Michael, what did you see?!!!

27) Holy shit, Nadine was working for Sin Rostro the whole time!

At least he gave her some time to get the hell away before they get her arrested.

28) My sweet Rogelio, he felt so guilty - even though he didn’t do anything wrong - and he confessed! And of course, Xiomara is taking advantage of his good-nature to get away with what she did…

29) It kind of breaks my heart that Petra reached out to Rafael first. Poor lonely girl, she has no one to turn to.

30) Like, I’m glad they’re broken up, but what he said sounded totally made up? And purposefully hurtful?

RAFAEL: Look, last night got me thinking, too. And I realized that something has changed.

JANE: What?

RAFAEL: I just don't love you the way that you love me. That's the problem. That's why this won't work.

JANE: I don't believe you.

RAFAEL: Look, I know that this hurts to hear

JANE: Why are you saying this?  

RAFAEL: Because I thought that I did. But I guess I just got caught up in the idea of us being a family. Of you being the mother of my child. And I was just projecting so much onto that. But I am seeing things clearly now. I think that we should end it. Focus on how we can both be good parents

31) Cool, the narrator will explain why this sounded so OOC. I’m sure someone pressured Rafael for some reason…

32) Okay, so no one forced him to do it, he truly believes being apart is the best thing for them and their child, and I have to agree with him. I just hope we’re over with this back and forth for a while. I’m beyond tired of it.

33) Did she really choose this moment to tell him? Did she forget what Jane said about his pride? Why would she humiliate him further by telling him about it in front of an audience while they’re doing a photoshoot?

He has every right to be angry, though. But I hope they can make up, they’re the most functional couple in this show, tbh.

34) And this has nothing to do with the fact that Michael just learned that Jane and Rafael broke up…

35) ALBA RECOGNIZED HER!!!

36) Even though I might just a tad tired of the whole Rafael/Jane thing - just a tad, mind you - I really can’t wait to see what the final episodes of this season have in store. I hae a feeling the season will end with a bang. Although I hope not literally. 

37)  Hope you enjoyed my recap, and, as usual, if you’ve got this far, thank you for reading! If you enjoy my recaps and my blog, please consider supporting it on ko-fi.Thanks!

[macbookpro-hard-drive]

10-16 with Jeremy?

heck yeah gonna throw this under a readmore tho

10. what their most treasured possession is

i wrote this lil fic like... on my old account where jeremy had a magic kit when he was a kid and tbh? i could see that being his most treasured possession! his dad bought it for him and he would put on lil magic shows for his parents and for michael. it just reminds him of happier and simpler times.

11. what sort of tv shows/movies they’d enjoy

jeremy 100% watched stuff like doctor who and star trek with michael and his parents. jerm’s mom was a fuckin huge trekkie and his dad loves star wars so i can imagine jeremy being big into both due to the family ties they have!

but in general, i see jeremy being huge into sci-fi shit, as well as like... some comedic stuff, like b99. he and christine 100% watch b99 together imo

he 100% has a secret love of cheesy romcoms that he shares w christine and rich. they have their own lil movie nights at christine’s house and its nice

12. what sort of video games they’d enjoy

all. 

but honestly, i could see jeremy being big into stuff like resident evil or any of the telltale games (especially tales from the borderlands, which... i have been playing recently lmao), or uhhh the fallout series maybe? 

other than that, the stereotypical pokemon-zelda-mario stuff. he 100% used to play sonic a lot as a kid but he doesn’t really play the newer stuff. owns a copy of sonic boom completely because michael bought it for him as a joke and they both laugh over how dumb it is. it’s good times.

13. what they carry in their bag/pockets

in his pockets:

his wallet

keys (just his house key, which has a fucking ton of keychains so he doesnt feel that bad abt not having a car) 

spare change, a couple receipts bc he forgets to throw them away

a packet of chewing gum thats starting to fall apart (just the box for it) (also: most often trident, either bubblegum flavor or pineapple twist)

and his cell phone

14. what they were like as a kid

jeremy wasn’t really an antisocial child imo. like, around adults? yeah, he’d clam up a little bit - not enough that he’d be completely silent, but he’d be a little bit more likely to stick to his parents if he was uncomfortable enough

i could also see jeremy being pretty well-behaved, mainly bc his parents were always really fuckin keen on him having manners. sure, he’d act out from time to time - but... primarily bc it’d give him some attention from his parents whenever he felt like they’d forgotten about him (which was rare, but he was a kid)

other than that, jeremy was a extremely active kid? always a little taller than most kids, always looking like the scrawny kid he is, but he fucking lived for recess when he was in elementary school. fuckin loved to play kickball. 

also: magician boy. loved the pizzazz of everything. 100% wanted a white rabbit for a couple years - never got one, since he was a kid and they didn’t trust him to take care of a rabbit yet, and eventually he settled for a plush white rabbit. 

15. what their family is like (+ their relationships w their family)

jeremy’s family is... sorta boring, in his opinion - and thats going beyond his parents.

his relationship with his dad was really, really good before the divorce. he was always close to his parents growing up, and then when things started to get messy as his parents argued a bit over what they wanted - eventually that dying down to civil conversation of maybe they should actually get a divorce, but what about jeremy, but this is what’s best - he started to sorta withdraw back into himself. post-squipcident, he’s trying. he and his dad are sorta just... trying to bring their relationship back to what it was, or make it better.

his mom was a divorce attorney, like she is in the book. i can see jeremy being very much of a mama’s boy - and, honestly, if it weren’t for her plans (and if jeremy didn’t have a life in metuchen, like his friendship with michael and a lot of shit at middleborough), i think jeremy could have ended up living with her? i can see his mom moving to some big city tbh. their relationship is a little strained as well, but i can see jeremy finally responding to her texts/email/letters/whathaveyou with a phone call and asking if they could talk or something - post-squipcident, of course. she’s actually dating again and she’s been wanting jeremy to come visit her and meet her boyfriend. he wants to go, but... at the same time, he’s kinda worried about leaving his dad again.

his dad has a brother! he sorta helped jeremy and his dad when jeremys mom left. he lives in edison, nj. tbh he probably visits jeremy and his dad often, and he’s just a jolly dude. jeremy’s really fond of him - they’ve always gotten along. then again, his uncle is a big fucking robotics nerd and he keeps talking to jeremy about getting into that shit with michael, since his school does have a robotics club. jeremy’s actually considering it.

on his dad’s side, jeremy’s pretty close to his grandmother and was sorta close with his grandfather before he passed. he doesn’t get to see her as often as he’d like, since she doesn’t live in metuchen or anywhere close, but she makes some fucking killer pies and jeremy loves visiting her. she’s like... stereotypical sweet granny. 

on his mom’s side, her parents absolutely adore jeremy? it’s only really one-sided, since jeremy sorta doesn’t talk to them since the divorce - but they love to basically pester his dad (which results in them getting jeremy to talk to them) and find out everything jeremy’s been up to. 

his mother is probs the second oldest. i can see her having an older brother and a younger sister. i genuinely cant remember where book-jeremy got the beanie babies from to sell to get the squip, so uhhh i’ll probs update this later w more info haha once i find my copy of the pdf lmao

16. what their phone is like (case, apps, ect!)

jeremy spent fucking years with an iphone 5c (and im slightly projecting here, since i had a 5c until it stopped working :/) that had an black otterbox case. the screen is a little cracked, but nothing bad - phone still works great and the cracks arent too in the way.

as for apps, most of his apps are probably games that he found. just stuff to entertain him whenever he’s particularly bored. cookie run (which he fuckin tries to beat michael at but michael is Too Good and jeremy has the worst timing sometimes so he runs into shit all the time), he still has flappy bird on his phone and protects that app with his life. it shall never leave.

other than that, he probably has like... facebook and instagram, both of which he barely uses, and snapchat - mainly so he can bother michael with dumb snaps.

thank u anon ily im gonna go back to playing life is strange now

[apicturewithasmile]

LOST rewatch (season 6)

[follow the entire rewatch-tag here]

episode 1 & 2 – LA X:

Desmond looking good as always

I don’t like the “the island is underwater” sequence. Such an obvious red herring.

“Why didn’t he fight back? Why did he let me just kill him?”

“I’m sorry you had to see me like that.”

“We can go Dutch.”

Still not a fan of the Indiana Jones hippie temple

“I don’t like the way English tastes on my tongue.”

“You’re the monster.” – “Let’s not resort to name calling.”

STOP TALKING ABOUT MY BABY JOHN LIKE THAT!

episode 3 – What Kate Does:

GET CREEPY ETHAN OUT OF THERE!

It’s Claire Rousseau

episode 4 – The Substitute:

Okay this is when the real feels begin!

Helen, I love you!

I’d give a lot to be able to talk to Terry O’Quinn while he’s taking a bath tbh…

I feel for Richard

There it is… the weirdest damn funeral Frank Lapidus has ever been to

“John Locke was a believer, he was a man of faith, he was a much better man than I will ever be and I’m very sorry I murdered him.”

I cannot believe James just walked down this ladder of death

JOHN’S ABOUT TO MEET DR. LINUS!!!

“Tea? Now there’s a gentleman’s drink.”

episode 5 – Lighthouse:

Oh course…. Sideways Jack has a son, totally forgot that

I kinda… don’t give a frick about Jack and his son tbh – not that that’s a surprise

“That’s not John, this is my friend.”

episode 6 – Sundown:

Sideways Sayid looks sweet and cute whereas island Sayid just looks hot as fucking hell

Fucking Martin Keamy

Ben’s fucking terrified of Sayid

episode 7 – Dr. Linus:

Oh my God, it’s happening!

Dr. Linus is a beautiful human being

“It’s Dr. Linus, actually.”

“Taking care of the kids, that’s what’s important!”

I AM HERE FOR THE HIGHSCHOOL AU!!!

I love that sideways Ben can only fix up a microwave meal whereas island Ben cooks that mean ham

HIS GLASSES ARE SO SWEET, they make him look so kind and… not dangerous at all

Alex <3

A rare genuine smile from Benjamin friggin Linus!!!!

“Linus, you’re a real killer.”

Fuckin Smokey, stop using my children for your sick game!

Here’s comes the most emotional speech that’s ever happened on the entire show

“I watched my daughter Alex die in front of me and it was my fault. I had a chance to save her but I chose the island – over her. All in the name of Jacob. I sacrificed everything for him and he didn’t even care.”

“I don’t expect you to forgive me because I can never forgive myself.”

Ben offering his help to Sun and Sun accepting it – HELP!!!

episode 8 – Recon:

The shirt Sawyer’s wearing looks like Richard’s shirt

I feel like Josh Holloway is less buff now than he was at the beginning of the show and I absolutely dig it!

“puppy dog eyes and a sad sunflower”

episode 9 – Ab Aeterno:

Fun story: the first time I watched Ab Aeterno was on Netflix and for some reason the subtitles didn’t work so throughout the entire episode I thought we weren’t supposed to understand the stuff that’s in Spanish

Ilana: So, Richard, what do we do next? – Richard: lol

His backstory is so tragic I’m gonna cry

Anyway, I know I say this about a lot of guys on LOST but… objectively speaking Nestor Carbonell is the most beautiful man on the whole show

I wonder if they’ve always planned for Richard to have come on the Black Rock

“It’s good to see you out of these chains.”

Titus Welliver has similar facial expressions to Terry O’Quinn which makes him perfect for playing the og Smokey

episode 10 – The Package:

Sun, my lovely wife

What is it with her and bumping her head against trees?

BEN FINDS HER!!!! I need Ben and Sun to be friends!!!!

I am so here for a Sun and Ben friendship. Give it to me now!!

I just remembered that Ben will kill Widmore and now I cannot wait!!!

Have I ever noticed that this is actual Mikhail Bakunin in the sideways?!?!

episode 11 – Happily Ever After:

Des, my bebe!!!

Of course Desmond is Charles Widmore’s protégé in the sideways

I love how Desmond’s sideways mission is to reunite everyone with the love of their lives

episode 12 – Everybody Loves Hugo:

Oh, Michael, of course, totally forgot about that

LIBBY MY DARLING!

Bye bye Ilana

Ben’s loyalty to Richard kills me

Dr. Linus protecting John Locke <3

episode 13 – The Last Recruit:

“John Locke was the only one of us who believed in this place.”

Ben going to the hospital with John <3

Season 6 Jack is really attractive

Wait… where’s Ben??

Jack really leaving Claire behind?!?!

Sun and Jin are reunited <3

episode 14 – The Candidate:

Honestly tho… Jack looks 10 times better and it’s all just because of that slight change of his hair style

I feel like I don’t have that much to say about season 6 because nothing really happens, like.. the island plot can pretty much be summed up in one sentence and the sideways are just fluff. I like the fluff but… well… to put it simple: there ain’t enough Ben fluff so I’m not that interested tbh

episode 15 – Across The Sea:

You know… it gets really hard to sympathise with Jacob after this episode. Not that I ever sympathised with him but… he just seems like the annoying dudebro in your modern literature seminar that just won’t shut the fuck up

“One day you can make up your own game and then everyone else will have to follow your rules.”

Mother: I made it so you can never hurt each other. – Jacob: *kills his brother*

Mother and Jacob pretending to love Smokey yet they never even bothered to give him a fucking name?!??!

episode 16 – What They Died For:

Ben hasn’t been on screen for three fucking episodes, where’s my murder cactus???

There’s Ben my bebe! Protecting his island husband!

And there’s Cusick’s miss-calculated punch that landed straight in Emerson’s pretty face

I cannot believe Ben remembers because Desmond is punching him

I kinda want more story surrounding Richard, Miles and Ben

Dr. Linus in the nurse’s office and John being soooo impressed

“Why would somebody hurt you? You’re like the nicest guy ever.”

DANIELLE!!!

I ship sideways Ben and Danielle very very much!!!

“You’re the closest thing to a father she’s ever had.” KILL ME!!!

Ben killing Widmore HELL YES!!!!

“He doesn’t get to save his daughter.”

ANA LUCIA!

episode 17 – The End:

Was Widmore the last person Ben kills? I can’t remember but I hope it is.

“Christian Shephard? Seriously?”

“This would be so sweet if we weren’t all about to die.”

JULIET!

“In case you haven’t noticed – I’m a pilot.”

SHANNON!!! I’ve missed you so much!

“You’re not John Locke. You disrespect his memory by wearing his face.”

Ben saving Hugo from the tree <3

YES KATE!!! “I saved you a bullet.”

The moment when John remembers hits me with very intense #feels

“If the island’s going down I’m going down with it.”

They cannot just mirror a shot of Michael Emerson and expect no one will notice

“I don’t believe in a lot of things but I do believe in duct tape.”

Sawyer and Juliet <3

“Ricky boy”

I always wonder if Jack turns into the new Smokey…. But like… a friendly Smokey.

NOT THE BEN IN FRONT OF THE CHURCH SCENE!!!

“Hello Benjamin.” FUUUUUUCK!

“I’m very sorry for what I did to you, John.”

“Well, if it helps, Ben, I forgive you.”

HURLEY ASKING BEN FOR HELP!!!

“Everybody dies sometime, kiddo.”

Christian LITERALLY says that everything that’s ever happened was real and somehow people still think they were dead the whole time????

Okay the final scene is so awesome tho

The fact that Vincent isn’t in the church can only mean that he is immortal

epilogue – The New Man In Charge:

YAAAASSSS!!!

This is how all of season 6 should have been like!

BEN LOOKS SO FUCKING HOT!!!!

The fact they transferred all the Dharma videos to DVD fills me with joy

“I’m genuinely sorry about that but what’s done is done. I can’t change the past. I can only take responsibility for it.”

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!! give me season 7 all about how Hurley, Ben and Walt run the island!!!!

[sin-binboi]

Mikey Was Walking to the Kitchen To Make himself Some Delicious Coffee, Fresh And Milky! He was Chatting with Ice Cream Kitty, Smiling proudly at His Proud Assistant and Pet. "you Should've SEEN How Ugly She Looked form Behind Kitty!" Mikey was Laughing "She Literally Had a Sack of Potatoes in a fucking Dress! It was HILARIOUS!" Mikey Laughed as Ice cream Kitty was Smiling. Stuff's Been Rough for him. First his father leaving Him With PTSD, then His Brothers, it was Pleasant to see him Smiling. It was Going Just  Fi- "Watch your Mouth Next time Wil Ya?" That Voice, Made Mikey's Whole Day Change. He Growled Low, Almost broke the cup he was holding, His Eyes Grew Cold, And He felt Anger boiled."Raph...." Mikey said, Low and Cold Not looking at him Raph walked up to Mikey and Nudged Him "So Mikey-Wikey How's it feels getting your Baby Bottle, eh?" he Shoved Mikey a tiny bit, Being Playful in the push. "Fuck. Off." Mikey said Stern. trying His best Not to take the Nun-chuck's Blade and Slice this Dude's throat Raph Looked at him, Snickering. "Mikey Please.-" "Mikey Please My Ass." He said, Getting More Angry "Not Get your No-good-out-of-shape-ass Out of Here." He said, As Ice cream Kitty tried to calm Mikey down. Raph Kept going "What if I don't Want to???" That took it. Mikey Grabbed The Boiling Hot coffee Pot And Smashed It Into Raph's Face, Causing Raph to Scream, Mikey's Coffee to Drop and the glass Shatter, And Ice Cream Kitty jumping near the Coffee Maker, Watching the Two Brothers Fight and throw Words. Mikey was Ontop of raph Chocking him "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Mikey Only saw Red, Everything Boiled......Everything If Leo, Donnie, and Casey and April didn't break the two up, Mikey would've Killed him. Raph Tried to hit Mikey, but Had His Arms Gripped on "THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!?!" He Yelled Mikey Spitted Out "YOU! FUCKING BITCH!" Mikey Almost broke free and Nearly tripped Donnie, but thankfully donnie stood. The Two were Separated, Leaving Ice cream Kitty, growing Worried about Mikey "Mikey? can we talk" Leo Said Looking at him worried Mikey Closed His book he was reading, Looking up Annoyed "Yes." He said, Super Cold, That It Made Leo Jumped. Leo cleared his throat "Um..So. Mikey." He said Not to be awkward, But Mikey's cold glare Shook him "How's Everythi-" "Pretty Good. I am reading a Book on Electronics" He said, Looking at his book and Not at his brother. Leo Looked at it "Oh.....kay...." He said Scratching his head Leo continued "So Mikey How Have you Been?" Mikey was reading at this Point "I Have Been Good. I talked to April 20 minutes ago, Fed Ice Cream Kitty Her treat, And Currently Reading My Book. Now if that's All you're asking to Distract  me Than Please" He said reading Leo was offended "What? Mikey No-" Mikey Jolted up "you think I don't know what the fuck you're doing Leo?" he said Loud and Bitter "Why the fuck do you Even FUCKING TRY??? " Mikey Slammed His Book on the Ground " I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU GUYS! I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE! " Leo Yelled Back "We Barely Even SEE you! You Legit Left Us Yesterday Without Even Telling us! And As your Brother and Leader-" " BROTHER AND LEADER MY ASS! " Mikey Yelled " GOD YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING SUFFERING! " Mikey and Leo didn't Notice, but The group Piled around the door leo Yelled back "Mikey! Please! Calm Down!" Mikey Yelled Almost getting closer to Leo "CALM DOWN MY ASS! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! SO HOW ABOUT SHOVE YOUR SWORD UP YOUR BLUE ASS!" Leo Sighed And Looked at mikey. He noticed the group, but didn't look at them "Mikey Please Calm Down.. Can't we talk Like Normal Brothers?" Mikey, On the Bright Side, Only calmed a Little, but Still had the Loud Cold Voice "Well Leonardo, Firstly, We Aren't Brothers, We're Not Even Blood related. And Don't Tell Me to Calm down, I'm not your Slut." Leo Jolted "I didn't say that Mikey!" Mikey Looked right through him "Sure does Sound Like it" 1-2: More Headsets ~~My Favorite Is Spike~~ I’m Hella Redesigning The Cheese Sandwich One, Very Off IMO And Not my Taste :/

3: This Picture was for My 3rd Class! And since I Love luna and Not celestia I decided to draw Luna cause I’m a proud Luna Fan <3 (Sorry celestia fans; She just sucks IMO)

4: My Baby, His Name is Michael (Michael Bryant Jr.III Full Name) He Might be Old, But He’s Still Going Strong! (He had him for around 5 years and He’s a Proud little member of our Family) He’s been getting out of his shell A Lot Lately. He’s Been to the Vet thankfully, And That vet trip Gave him wonders. Which Makes me very happy. He’s Now Squeaking, He’s Always going towards Us (Always Kissing someone. Cute fucker.) And He’s Just Like a human family member XD

5. Art-that-was-never-colored-so-call-it-Lineart-Art Picture Of Mikey. tbh He’s My Favorite Ninja Turtle and I Love him <3 

6. TMNT Cracked!Verse! Mikey Has a LOT going on! I’ll Copy and Paste some Backstory, And Dialogue that I typed on discord to my bestie <3

Name: Michelangelo Hamato -Mikey- Nickname: Shell-fur-Brains (Brothers) Mike (April ONLY) Mikester (Casey) Build: His Average Height Parents: ????? (Biological) Master Splinter (Adopted) Bio: (Might Be Long XD) Michelangelo Hamato, or for short, Mikey. Is the Youngest of the Crew. The Holder Of Nun-chucks, The Heart of the Family, And Mostly, The Fun in the Family. Mikey Was always Pranking, Being Silly on Missions (All Missions Need fun!), Doesn't really Listen to his Brothers, And Mostly, Be Himself. He Had a Loving family, April and Casey, things Were going Well. Until that One fateful Night, The Death of His father and Master, Splinter. It Might've Not looked like it, But He was a Changed Turtle. He Stopped his Pranking, Stop being funny, Being Silly. It Left him With a Strong Post-Traumatic-Stress Disorder. Which Also Mixed in with His Brothers Words (All the words they call him tbh). After that, he did What they wanted him to do....."Grow up" And He did. Hell, He did QUICK! He turned Silent, Mute, Cold and Harsh If Angered, Left without Notice, And Even Changed the world Around him. It was Grey, reliving the death of His father, The times He Messed up pretty Badly, Everything Swarmed.The Only One He talks to, Is His Loyal Pet Ice Cream kitty. She's the Only One He'll vent to if His Brothers Piss him off. He Also Gotten a Very Very VERY Foul Mouth, And Does Not Hesitate to throw An Insult, threat, Heck! He'll Point Out One thing Wrong on you! This Leads to his Brother Being On His Shell 24/7, Him Leaving And Staying Gone for a Long time, And Even Locking himself in a room Just to not be Bothered. This Went on and on Until He Had Enough. He Packed his Belongings, Grabbed Ice Cream Kitty, And Left without a trace. The Family was In Look for him all around! The Sewers, Pizza Place, Everything! Even the Rooftops! First a Day, Then a Week, And Then A Month. No Contact. He didn't bring His T-Phone (Smart Bastard!) He Left it, which REALLY didn't Work. It was a Miracle When Mikey Came Back, but With Scars on his body. Turns out He was In a LOOOOOOT Of fights. This Lead to Arguing, Yelling, And It Ended Horribly. So finally. Mikey Used all his Smartness, All the Stuff he Knows, And Made a Small Creation. He called it "The Ranger". It Mostly Disguises himself into Anything He Pleases. And Even Collecting Spirits for his Own Use! The Only one He's not mad with are April and Casey. But Mostly April April Hung around him when she catches him leaving and come With. This Lead to April Crushing on him Super Hard. Mikey returns the feelings, And Shows by smiles, And Winks. Also Hugs! if Mikey is in the Mood! Donnie Also is a Salty Hoe for the crush. Raph And Mikey Fight a Lot to where Weapons are drawn Leo Being the Leader, Takes it calm, Which Pleases Mikey some, though he's still annoyed

"Mikey? can we talk" Leo Said Looking at him worried Mikey Closed His book he was reading, Looking up Annoyed "Yes." He said, Super Cold, That It Made Leo Jumped. Leo cleared his throat "Um..So. Mikey." He said Not to be awkward, But Mikey's cold glare Shook him "How's Everythi-" "Pretty Good. I am reading a Book on Electronics" He said, Looking at his book and Not at his brother. Leo Looked at it "Oh.....kay...." He said Scratching his head Leo continued "So Mikey How Have you Been?" Mikey was reading at this Point "I Have Been Good. I talked to April 20 minutes ago, Fed Ice Cream Kitty Her treat, And Currently Reading My Book. Now if that's All you're asking to Distract  me Than Please" He said reading Leo was offended "What? Mikey No-" Mikey Jolted up "you think I don't know what the fuck you're doing Leo?" he said Loud and Bitter "Why the fuck do you Even FUCKING TRY??? " Mikey Slammed His Book on the Ground " I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH YOU GUYS! I JUST WANT TO BE ALONE! " Leo Yelled Back "We Barely Even SEE you! You Legit Left Us Yesterday Without Even Telling us! And As your Brother and Leader-" " BROTHER AND LEADER MY ASS! " Mikey Yelled " GOD YOU GUYS ARE FUCKING SUFFERING! " Mikey and Leo didn't Notice, but The group Piled around the door leo Yelled back "Mikey! Please! Calm Down!" Mikey Yelled Almost getting closer to Leo "CALM DOWN MY ASS! YOU DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO! SO HOW ABOUT SHOVE YOUR SWORD UP YOUR BLUE ASS!" Leo Sighed And Looked at mikey. He noticed the group, but didn't look at them "Mikey Please Calm Down.. Can't we talk Like Normal Brothers?" Mikey, On the Bright Side, Only calmed a Little, but Still had the Loud Cold Voice "Well Leonardo, Firstly, We Aren't Brothers, We're Not Even Blood related. And Don't Tell Me to Calm down, I'm not your Slut." Leo Jolted "I didn't say that Mikey!" Mikey Looked right through him "Sure does Sound Like it" Mikey Put on his Hoodie and Left the Shelter. Those Bastard Pissed him off enough, he need Fresh air. Finally He got to the Surface, And Sat on the Edge, Looking at People Passing by. He Grabbed a Ball On the roof and Threw It at a Moving Car. He didn't give two fucks. "Y'know, You Shouldn't do that Mikey" A Soft voice came from behind him Mikey felt a Small Smile on his face "Well? Not Like They Know it was me" He turned, Seeing April Looking down at him April sat Beside him "you really got into it with Raph today Mikey. you Legit Had him in a choke-hole." She said Mikey Shrugged "He'll walk it off." April sighed and shook her head "Mikeeeyyyyy-" Mikey rolled his Eyes "He made me mad, I Fought Him." April sighed "I know raph can be mean all the time. but Lord you Had him Blue and Purple By the face!" She Punched His Arm Mikey Smirked And Playfully said "Oops." April Rolled her eyes, Looking at mikey. His Eyes.........A Beautiful Blue-Grey.......So Hot- I Mean Cool! She felt her Face Heat up Mikey Looked at her "you Look Like If Raph Had a Period And Pissed on your Face" April Smacked his Cheek "Shut up!" She Said squeaking Mikey Laughed Shortly "Ow" He said Playfully.

Mikey Was Walking to the Kitchen To Make himself Some Delicious Coffee, Fresh And Milky! He was Chatting with Ice Cream Kitty, Smiling proudly at His Proud Assistant and Pet. "you Should've SEEN How Ugly She Looked form Behind Kitty!" Mikey was Laughing "She Literally Had a Sack of Potatoes in a fucking Dress! It was HILARIOUS!" Mikey Laughed as Ice cream Kitty was Smiling. Stuff's Been Rough for him. First his father leaving Him With PTSD, then His Brothers, it was Pleasant to see him Smiling. It was Going Just  Fi- "Watch your Mouth Next time Wil Ya?" That Voice, Made Mikey's Whole Day Change. He Growled Low, Almost broke the cup he was holding, His Eyes Grew Cold, And He felt Anger boiled."Raph...." Mikey said, Low and Cold Not looking at him Raph walked up to Mikey and Nudged Him "So Mikey-Wikey How's it feels getting your Baby Bottle, eh?" he Shoved Mikey a tiny bit, Being Playful in the push. "Fuck. Off." Mikey said Stern. trying His best Not to take the Nun-chuck's Blade and Slice this Dude's throat Raph Looked at him, Snickering. "Mikey Please.-" "Mikey Please My Ass." He said, Getting More Angry "Not Get your No-good-out-of-shape-ass Out of Here." He said, As Ice cream Kitty tried to calm Mikey down. Raph Kept going "What if I don't Want to???" That took it. Mikey Grabbed The Boiling Hot coffee Pot And Smashed It Into Raph's Face, Causing Raph to Scream, Mikey's Coffee to Drop and the glass Shatter, And Ice Cream Kitty jumping near the Coffee Maker, Watching the Two Brothers Fight and throw Words. Mikey was Ontop of raph Chocking him "YOU FUCKING BITCH!" Mikey Only saw Red, Everything Boiled......Everything If Leo, Donnie, and Casey and April didn't break the two up, Mikey would've Killed him. Raph Tried to hit Mikey, but Had His Arms Gripped on "THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM!?!" He Yelled Mikey Spitted Out "YOU! FUCKING BITCH!" Mikey Almost broke free and Nearly tripped Donnie, but thankfully donnie stood. The Two were Separated, Leaving Ice cream Kitty, growing Worried about Mikey

Fixed Minor Mistakes in my Spelling (It’s not the best)    

Aaaand Have a Small thing

He's The King of his Own Kingdom Under the Sea and He Had Legit Everything and I mean EVERYTHING

6. Mikeeeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Cracked!verse Addition <3 aaa He was fun to sketch XD