#who made them into forever dolls for science

[chloesimaginationthings]

That’s not circus baby that’s poppy playtime™️ herself!

[lucidfairies]

science class [e.w]

pairing: loser!ellie x cheerleader!reader

summary: when a new cheerleader arrives at ellie's college, face all dolled up and skirt-clad hips swaying, she all but wants to die.

warnings: smut, 18+ mdni, poc friendly, smoking, bottom!ellie, dom!fem!reader, tribbing, cunnilingus, nipple play, sorta thigh riding, overstim ‼️, ellie comes like five times

wc: 3.6k

top notes: I like accidentally made ellie sort of autistic but it's not my fault okay. also when I was writing this I was thinking abt how if this was a novel the reader would be black but I'm white so idk if I can like write that without like getting something wrong but sorry anyway

sometimes ellie wished she was blind. she wished that she couldn't see pretty girls, because maybe then she wouldn't fall in love with everybody. especially you.

she was two weeks into her sophomore year of college when you showed up. immediately blinded by your beauty, she almost tripped down the hallway as you walked past, in a short little skirt, and a white shirt. your ponytail flicked as you walked by, meeting up with someone you knew already.

she knew she was fucked.

when she arrived at her class, she was astounded to see that you were sitting in the seat next to hers, chewing gum and typing on your computer with cute blue light glasses on. like it was nothing. like her world wasn't crashing down in front of her.

standing in the corner of the lecture room, she debated moving seats. there were plenty of open ones, but you chose the one next to her? how was she supposed to survive this class with a pretty girl next to her, observing everything she does?

the answer is, she wasn't going to.

she was simply going to perish from the sight of you, from being in your presence, because she certainly didn't deserve to be and-

"ellie, would you please sit down? you're creeping me out." her teacher said, and she shifted nervously, then sped to her seat with her gaze trained at the floor. "okay, let's dive in, shall we?"

and the lecture continued. like you weren't right there. she couldn't understand why everyone in the world wasn't looking at you right now, absolutely entrancing, the way you took cute aesthetic notes and reapplied your shiny clear lip gloss.

"ellie?" you said, hoping she truly answered to that. she turned, meeting your eyes with a nervous smile and rosey red cheeks. "hi. I'm y/n. I just wanted to tell you that I like your sweatshirt."

it was a ratty old thing that joel had given her years ago, with a faded queens logo and a hole in the armpit that she had to sew back together every time she washed the poor hoodie.

"it's nice to meet you," she said quietly, tucking back a piece of hair that had fallen into her face. she realized how strange she must've looked and stopped quickly, "my dad gave it to me when I was like 11. I've had it forever."

you giggled. you just fucking.. giggled. "you aren't one of those people who just wears it because it's cool though, right?" ellie shook her head violently.

"no, I love their music. I wish I was born in the eightees so I could've listened to them live and.. yeah. I really like them." she turned away from you ever so slightly, nervously over talking and terrified that she was embarrassing herself.

"hey, you're good. I wish I was too. my favorite song is probably back chat, but keep yourself alive is a close second. how about you?" and you let this loser girl next to you talk. and talk. and talk.

ellie didn't know that you were intrigued by her demeanor in every way. from the stickers on her lap top to the patches on her backpack, every detail about her you noticed. you observed the way she warmed up to people and let you strike up a conversation with her about anything once you knew her. and it was... cute. really fucking adorable.

ellie's life only got a million times harder after that. to add to her series of neverending death sentences, she now had to see you in your perfect makeup and effortless outfits everyday. instead of just showing up to class, you insisted on talking to ellie. about everything. cheer, your friends, some dude that was hitting on you.

and on top of that? she saw you in the hallways, or on campus and you smiled. waved, even. some days you even talked to her. in public. you weren't afraid to be friends with her. and though she had jesse and dina, she still had very little social experience, and you were like a breath of fresh air.

on a chilly wednesday afternoon, ellie was walking to the building that your class had been in, and caught a glance of some other lesbian couple on campus. that settled it. she was going to ask for your number today, it wasn't like she was proposing marriage. just something simple. easy.

"can I have your number?" she interrupted you mid-sentence. and you smiled. of course you fucking smiled. she prepared herself for the notorious rejection, after hearing rumors of you rejecting everyone that came up to you and asked for your socials we. she wasn't just anyone, though.

"duh, you only took forever to ask." ellie was frozen in place. had you wanted her to ask? couldn't you have asked for hers? but before she could overthink too much, you were shoving your phone in her face and ellie was putting her number in. "anyway, as I was saying.."

ellie tuned out what you were saying, purely by accident. there were too many big events going on in her life for her poor brain to handle. the love of her life just agreed to give her their number, and she was plotting her route to dina's dorm as quickly as possible to tell her everything.

"holy shit dina," she huffed, running her hands through her hair. "I asked for her number so she gave it to me, and we talked! dina, we talked. about things. I already have our life planned out. we're gonna have two kids and a dog, she'll be a stay at home mom, because I'll do everything for her. I would kill for this girl, dina." dina was unimpressed.

"you are such a loser, els. has anyone told you that before?" she wasn't a loser, she was just incredibly and obsessively in love with you. ellie rolled her eyes. "I say make a move. you never know what could come of it."

"I can't," she sighed, trying to find words. "I can't just make a move, what if she doesn't like me? what if she thinks I'm weird?" she frowned.

"you are weird. if she doesn't like you like that, then fuck her. maybe start with being friends?" ellie nodded. she thought you guys were already friends, but technically you never hung out outside of class, and you hadn't really texted that much (she got your number today, but that hardly mattered).

"should I invite her to jesse's on friday?" dina rubbed the back of her neck. jesse was in a frat, one of the largest on campus that had absolutely wild parties on the weekends, which weren't exactly the best place for first dates. but to ellie... smoking and drinking around hot people in a random basement? amazing.

"if you think she's into that, I'm not gonna stop you." ellie was up and out of dina's apartment quickly, biking back to the dorms and planning out everything that was going to happen on friday.

- - -

in ellie's defense, she overslept. she wasn't thinking much about grabbing a jacket when she was already going to be ten minutes late, so when she stopped outside and the cool air hit her like a brick, she was less than prepared. but it hardly mattered. today was the day she was going to invite you to jesse's party, so her stupid jacket was like a blip on her radar.

"ellie, you're turning blue." you said, once ellie stumbled into her seat next to you. she was in nothing but a loose fitting tee-shirt and jeans, nothing to protect her petite figure. you hadn't noticed before how toned her arms were, but you certainly did now.

"I'm fine, it-it-it's not that cold." her teeth chattered as she stealthy tried to rub her hands over her arms to create friction.

"ellie, baby, I have an extra sweatshirt," you giggled when her eyes widened, grabbing the sweatshirt and handing it to her. "wash it and return it to me whenever." it was a bland black sweatshirt, but it matched your outfit, and you were more than happy to give it to ellie.

ellie who was most definitely going to pass out. she was probably just cold. it wasn't because she could smell your perfume on your hoodie that you just handed her. like it was nothing. she was going to fall out of her chair, onto the floor, and die.

"thanks," she pulled it over her head and sunk into it. "I'll give it back next class- what are you doing on friday?" she tried to get her thoughts straight while you looked at her with an adorable smile.

"I'm actually packing up and leaving, I dropped out," ellie's face fell, "oh ellie you're face," you laughed hard, and her expression softened. "but I'm not doing anything. why? wanna ask me out?" ellie was definitely blushing hard.

"my friend jesse is having a party at his frat on friday, do you.. do you maybe wanna go?" you tilted your head and looked away, as if you actually needed to think about it.

"hm, I guess I can fit that into my schedule." ellie released the breath she was holding and looked down at her hands for a moment before meeting your eyes again.

"uh that's great. it's kappa alpha, at nine. I would pick you up but I don't have a car,"

"how about I pick you up? what's your dorm number?" ellie texted you all the details, and it was settled. you were going on a date. together. in two days, and you were driving. ellie was on cloud nine- not even, cloud fucking ten.

- - -

"hey els," you giggled as she opened her dorm door. "oh, you look so cute! I'm definitely stealing this from you." you pushed a piece of hair behind her ear and messed with the corner of her collar, attached to a red flannel.

"oh thanks... it's yours if you want it." you knew if you asked she wouldn't ever have you give it back, maybe even give it to you right now. she stepped out of her room and shut the door, then followed you down the hallway.

"so who's this jesse kid? I hear a lot about him." you asked, turning on the engine and pulling out of the parking lot. the frat was on the other side of campus and ellie planned on walking? laughable.

"I really don't know him that well, he's dating my friend dina. he's a big stoner, but he's not super into the party scene. just goes 'cause the frat does." her eyes were trained out the window, not because she didn't want to listen to you, but because she was insatiably nervous.

"nice, nice." you paused for a moment. "are we gonna dance together or what? gonna save me a slow dance?" the tips of ellie's ears turned red.

"because I have such a roster." she joked, rolling her eyes. she would save every dance for you.

"perfect. is jesse's weed good?" she shrugged.

"it's okay. not as good as mine, and his plug is kinda shitty. whatever, it works. we're here." you pulled the car to a stop against the curb, in awe at how many people were coming in and out of the house.

ellie desperately needed to get high. maybe then she could talk to you like a normal person, not like she was trying to brush you off. when she found jesse, he was talking to dina and brushed her off. with a groan, she turned to find some other seller.

you were talking to someone, pretending not to pay attention to ellie skittering around the house talking to people she knew. maybe she wasn't as much of a loser as you thought, or maybe she was just a stoner. one of them. either way, she kept disappearing, but when you finally found her again, she was sitting on a couch, joint hanging from her lips as she talked with some friends.

"els," you fell next to her, taking the joint out of her mouth and taking a hit. "we should play beer pong." you suggested, smiling at her the way she liked.

"we were just talking about that," dina cut in, "me and jesse will play with you guys, won't we jes?" he turned back towards the three of you, dazed and a little confused. "that's a yes." ellie was burning lasers into dina, who was standing.

one of the tables was empty, and the group immediately moved to occupy it. you took your place next to ellie, teaming up with dina who was smirking at the end of the table. "you go first," you handed ellie the small white ball.

ellie was skilled, that's for sure. she made almost every single point, which had jesse drinking until he couldn't see straight. she was trying so hard not to focus on the way your bicep brushed against hers, and the way you giggled whenever you made a point. it just wasn't fair. none of this was fair.

"I definitely won." ellie said, as you made your way back inside. "you had, like, two drinks, max. I had jesse drinking for miles." you could tell she was on something now, the way she grinned and made eye contact and jokes were far from her usual character.

"don't you owe me a dance?" your hand locked with hers as you gently pulled her in the direction of where most people were dancing. you lifted her arm and spun her, pulling her back against your front by her hips.

ellie surely wasn't breathing. she was sure that she had died from alcohol consumption, or maybe someone stabbed her, and she was dead, in heaven. or a fever dream in a coma. there was no way in hell -in hell- that you were swaying your hips against her ass, cunt so fucking close to where she desperately needed you.

"this is fun, don'tcha think, ellie?" you whispered, voice low as you guided her hips with yours. her head fell back against your shoulder, alcohol wearing off as you ground her hips against your front. "I asked you a question, darlin."

"so fun," she muttered, eyes closed as she let you bring her hips back and forth with yours to the beat of the music. "wanna go upstairs?"

"ellie williams inviting me upstairs on the first date? dirty." you giggled, pulling away from her body. she was flushed, her boxers were already wet, and she had no clue what going upstairs entailed. but she needed you regardless. "lead the way, confident." she ran her sweaty hands down the front of her jeans and led you upstairs, to an empty bedroom. it was jesse's, and he wouldn't ever know.. right?

you were pulling her face against yours before she even got a chance to tell you that she didn't know what to do. you were definitely taking the lead on this one - not that ellie objected in any sense.

you nicked her bottom lip, eliciting blood at how chapped they were. you pushed your tongue into her mouth, smiling when she moaned and pulled you in by your waist. your hands traveled, brushing against her tits from beneath her tee shirt. obviously she didn't wear a bra, she was too cool and masc for that.

"you're desperate els," you sneered when you pulled away, pulling your crop top up and over your head. "take off your shirt and pants and lay down." ellie had no thoughts in her head; just you. you telling her to strip. this definitely wasn't a fever dream.

she quickly lost her shirt and pants, leaving lanky limbs and embarrassing boxers. her nipples were perked up, waiting to be sucked and slapped, and her face was red with a never ending blush.

when she laid down, you got on top of her, pushing her legs up around your waist as you sucked hickey after hickey into her neck. she was writhing and whining, begging for you to touch her further than just your hands still placed on her thighs. just from making out and hickies she was pushing her hips into you, clit hitting the fabric of your skirt as you moved to push your thigh between her legs.

"need you so bad," she whimpered when you finally diverted your attention from her neck down her chest. you left soft kisses between her tits and around them, before taking her nipple in your mouth and harshly sucking. like a false sense of security.

her hips were coming down hard and fast against your knee as you continued to mess with her tits, pulling her nipples between your fingers and grazing them with your teeth. she was just so fucking sensitive, and she barely even smoked anything.

knowing she was getting close, you moved your knee and kissed down her sternum, leaving a trail of shiny gloss as you got to the waistband of her boxers. "oh, poor baby, you've been waiting for this, haven't you?" you ran your thumb over the wet patch of her underwear.

"nghh- for so long," she moaned as her hips rutted into your palm. "I think about y- fuck- think about you when I..when I come," her eyes squeezed shut in embarrassment, knowing she was sharing far more than she needed to.

"do you now?" you teased, pulling her boxers down her pale legs. you added them to the pile of clothes and admired how absolutely drenched she was, practically leaking onto the sheets. "what do you think about, princess?" you were bringing her legs over your shoulders, looking at her expectantly.

"think about you- mh- about this," she was immediately distracted by the way you kissed her clit. "about c-cuming on your- shit shit fuck," you pressed your tongue against her clit and licked, before sucking it into your mouth and painting patterns with your tongue.

after keeping your attention directly on her clit for a few minutes, you circled her entrance with your middle finger, lubing it up before pushing it in to the first knuckle and fuck, she was tight, holding onto your finger to the point you could hardly thrust.

"ellie, you gotta relax. we can stop if you want to." she shook her head violently, unclenching her eyes and trying to breathe. her body released its tension, which made everything less tense, allowing you to push your finger the rest of the way in.

and... she came. just like that, barely a finger deep her cunt, barely doing anything.

"jesus ellie," you laughed to yourself. you didn't wait for her to finish before you started fucking your finger into her. she whined and thrashed to get away from your hand, but you added another finger and pressed down on her hip to steady her. you curled your fingers up just enough to hit that sweet spot inside of her and she almost black out.

"fuck- s'too much.. s'too much," she slurred, drunk on your fingers. the bed shook lightly against the wall at the harshness of your thrusts.

"is it really, baby?" you grinned, before taking her clit in your mouth again. her moans were practically louder than the music downstairs, and her back was arching. she attempted to get away from you, pulling her hips away, but it was no use.

tears welled in her eyes as her stomach tightened. her pussy clenched around your fingers, sucking them in deep. you pressed against her spot as she came, making her let out a broken shriek.

ellie was definitely crying now. especially when you didn't stop... again. you just kept pounding your fingers into her, adding a third. just thinking about how hard she would cum on a strap instead of your fingers had you dizzy.

her second orgasm morphed into her third before you pulled your fingers out. they were drenched in cum, which was dripping down your arm and the sheets. ellie's cheeks were puffy from crying, hips twitching as she tried to breath.

"oh sweet girl, we're not done yet." you wiped your hand on the bed and climbed off of her, stripping yourself of your remaining clothes and coming back over her, kneeling between her legs.

you pushed her leg up, straddling her for a moment. her lips were parted, breathing heavily as she waited for you to drop against her. your lips quirked up into a smirk as you pressed your cunt against hers, head falling back as your clits met.

ellie's pussy was wet, covered in cum, ready to be fucked until she couldn't say any name but yours. you thrust your hips against hers, and she was crying again, pulling and flicking her own nipples as she listened to you moan and reveled at how phenomenal your pussy felt.

she pushed her hips into yours, so you held them down, forcing her to take whatever you gave her. you came down against her pelvis hard, almost to the point where it hurt, but ellie was living for it, sobbing out your name like it was God's.

"can't come again- I can't- fuck, nnghh," you forced two fingers into ellie's mouth and she shut up, sucking them like a slut.

"yes you can." your voice changed, something deeper and more dominant ripped out of you as you got close to your orgasm. a rock in your stomach dropped, and you could feel ellie getting close as you picked up the pace, moaning at how her cunt felt.

you came at the same time, cum mixing and smearing all over both of you. ellie was still crying, back arched as she moaned over and over. you kissed her ankle softly as you came down for your high, climbing off of her after a moment and laying next to her.

"I want you to be my girlfriend," ellie croaked, voice still hoarse for all the crying. you giggled, looking over at her with a grin.

"I think I can do that."

bottom notes: this is the longest fic I've written and I actually thought I wouldn't be able to get more than 2k words.. anyway sorry about the abrupt ending I kinda wanted to be done

[fruitcoops]

If I Make It to the Morning

Prompt B3: "Surprise Visit" to continue PWHL Lions for Day 4 of @oknutzy-week-2024. I cannot get enough of them, thank you @lumosinlove for making such brilliant characters and letting us play with them like paper dolls.

They were just so goddamn cute.

Finn bit down on her spoon, holding it between her teeth with her arms crossed over her chest until she felt like she could breathe without shrieking. Leo had woken for a few seconds, only to close her eyes and sink back into sleep easier than Finn had ever seen. Logan, who used to jerk awake at the faintest click of the front door, snored softly as if the whole city wasn’t waking outside.

They were so cute, and it was such a goddamn problem.

Logan was…god, Logan just was. She was, in her way, and Finn had never been able to get over it, not even after a year without so much as a stray meme on Instagram even though she knew Logan opened every single one of her private stories. Finn hadn’t expected the surprise visit to her apartment—had thought Logan would be long gone, celebrating this insane dream come true with her new teammates. But Logan had come, Logan had stayed, Logan had allowed hugs she melted into and for Finn to take her to a restaurant where she laughed like nothing had changed.

Twenty-four hours passed. Logan got an Uber to the airport, Finn went to bed, and in the morning there was Leo. Bright and golden in overalls that made her look eight feet tall. A thin teal ribbon adorned her ponytail in a floppy bow that Finn wanted, desperately, to pull until it unraveled.

I’m Finn, Finn O’Hara. She had had to remind herself of her own last name. Come on in, your bedroom’s down the hall.

The books that had filled Leo’s duffel now sat snug on their IKEA bookshelves, tucked in with Finn’s like they were meant to be there. Her pots and pans were perfectly organized in the cabinets behind Finn’s head so she could reach them with ease. When Finn took a deep, fortifying breath, Leo’s magnolia room spray lingered in the air around her.

It was all so new and yet it felt so old, in the way an heirloom blanket was just the right softness and just the right length from years of comfort. The blanket Finn had bought to make this place feel a little more like home covered the expanse of Leo’s legs on one side of the couch and crept all the way up to Logan’s chest on the other. It was a fuzzy green thing; twenty dollars from Target, hardly something to be passed down. Finn wanted to hold it forever.

It was new and old and precious, and Finn could have absolutely none of it, so she bit her spoon and crossed her arms and waited for the coffeepot to finish hissing so she had an excuse to wake them up. Which happened to be the last thing she wanted.

It would be so convenient for Logan to miss her flight back to Minnesota. Maybe the storm had flooded a drain on their street. Maybe a tree had fallen somewhere between here and the hotel for the rest of her team. Maybe Finn could curl up in the armchair beside them and—whoops! Oh no! Overslept! Far too late to rush out, now, better if Logan just stayed a little longer in a place where she felt so right.

Leo’s Mardi Gras shirt fit her better than most of Finn’s clothes ever had.

These two would be the end of her.

A little milk, please. No sugar. Thanks, Harz.

Mixing the milk with the sugar first makes it taste better. Ouais, it’s…science, or something.

Finn poured hers black, gripping the ceramic sides tight enough to hurt. These feelings were too much. Her heart was too much. She watched them sleep on her couch like a creep and wished on every glow-in-the-dark star she had socked away her nightstand as a surprise for Leo that they could have this every day. It was a selfish wish. She ached for it.

“Rouge?”

God. “Yeah?” Finn answered, hoarse.

Logan mumbled something sleepy and low, stretching over the arm of the couch until her back cracked. “When time?”

“ ‘Bout eight.” Finn cleared her throat and took a sip of coffee. “I was going to get you up soon. Figured we’d drop you off at nine, nine-thirty.”

“Mmm.” Logan blinked at her a few times, slow and foggy with the morning, before squinting around the room. Her vibrant gaze hesitated on Leo. “Fell asleep during the show.”

“Me, too,” Finn said quietly. “Guess we were all tired.”

Logan hummed again. Leo slumbered on. The hall clock ticked down the seconds until Logan would return to her team, to Minnesota, to texts every other day.

None of them made any attempt to move.

[killerzys]

info dump to be aboutnthis mysterious toxins...

Also .. Sona ref .. now...

Info dump you say?!?

OH OH I been waiting for this day!! So like I had a few ideas for Toxin but it was similar to someone else and I don't want to seem like I was copying them so i changed it since then!!!

TOXIN IS basically not really a Sans like dream and nightmare (he is energy like the apple twins) he was not made like them he is a robot WITH the energy built into him, he harnesses all energy from the universe, he was originally made by [undisclosed information] to be a Doomsday boom essentially who's going to harnessed all of the energy from the universe and basically just make it collapse killing everything and every one within this world, no not able to go to other worlds just this entire multiverse because after all we're not the only universe there's another universe where toxin wasn't made to do this to this but lets not get into that =] but back to what he is and and what he was made for, teh person who made him... Decided he was useless I was going to rewrite him in general, but in the mints of doing a reset, he didn't go back to his original spawn point like he normally does which is in the lab, he woke up somewhere else his memory is being completely erased not remembering who or what he is, he was a robot and a complete different au... Not knowing who he was or what he was feeling quite useless.. from the beginning not understanding what his purpose was cuz his crater wasn't there right in front of him like all the Many resets before, to give him a purpose straight off he would eventually go off and just explore, as he starts understanding the world better, find another au as well, he would bring a friend with him that knew how to open portals to those worlds and the two would explore together, he enjoyed this a lot soon settling in a au for him self (sorry this doesn't make sense i am not just AFTER BUILDING UP ALL OF THIS IN MY HEAD I'M JUST EXPLODING TO TELL!!!) he adopts a girl this gril in the au he is staying in, this human girl is named Jewel, eventually they AU it's destroyed by error, on the girls brithday, he wss with her before everything became destroyed, despite being her birthday she gave him a present a necklace, of a thank you Captain of being there for her, after he escaped he, you didn't find a purpose of settling in au anymore find an it quite useless now. As he wanders between the aus not louder having his friends nor his daughter, he was depressed, going back to question his purpose, what was he made for? He didn't know..he knew it was something important but he just couldn't remember, after what felt like forever..years even he met nightmare (I change it from king multiverse to nightmare sue me) Nightmare gave him a a place to stay and purpose, working for nightmare happyly =] nightmare did eventually take him to science to get his body changed a little bit cuz, he knew something was a little off about him especially energy wise, science did changes body to not be doomsday device SO THE DEATH OF THE ALL THE UNIVERSE IS NO LONGER COMING woooo let's goooo And that really it tbh oh the person who made him originally doesn't care about him it's just like oh whatever I don't have to deal with him no more it's fine.. now his powers he has two giant scissors that turns into like swords he can change the size of the swords at will cuz he is a silly boy TEGEHEHE, he can also made his hand in gus tayts shot bullets or acid whichever he's feeling that day, he also makes a little tiny bombs, and he also just likes making gimmicks or tiny little doodads mostly like weapons, but he likes making little mechanic dolls it's very interesting to him and he likes making them, he really likes hanging out with horror plus he also loves making food with him, in general he just likes learning about new things, he looks hanging out with the others too but fine killer.... Quite dumb but like studying him as a character.. he does that with everyone though, understanding them thats it :3 might add some stuff in the future though

2# my sona

The info on this one is a little outdated though

[shrekgogurt]

WORDS

This is a sappy creative talking about being creative post. You have been warned. I did not proofread because I am nothing if not consistent in my personality.

I just got done watching Season 2 episodes 3&4 of the FX’s The Bear and I’m constantly inspired by their storytelling. The two episodes I watched really leaned into the creative process in a way that made me very reflective. I am terrible in a kitchen. However, I really saw similar patterns in my own pursuits.

I have a dear friend who studied brains in university and when I was at my lowest a few months ago she was telling me about how life is just skills. Things like IQ are bullshit. Everybody can do anything if they put the time in. It’s about just choosing skills and developing them. I get mad that I can’t draw. I get mad that I can’t play guitar well. Those are skills I’ve never worked on because the process doesn’t bring me joy, even though they are skills I wished I had. Meanwhile things like science or sports are areas I’ve never had much interest in cultivating anyway so the lack of skill doesn’t bother me as much.

I think about my skillset now a lot more. I think about how learning piano—while I’m frustrated by my lack of expertise—doesn’t make me literally cry while I’m learning. I embrace the challenge unlike something like drawing where I get so upset with myself it’s not fun anymore. This past fall while my confidence was totally shot (for a lot of reasons) I looked at my ability to sit at a keyboard and just play the same riffs from Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights over and over and over and over until I could do them. I learned I could do hard things. That maybe I’m not a total lazy piece of shit who gives up at the first sign of trouble.

And the beautiful thing is? That wasn’t always the case with piano. I’ve dabbled here and there throughout my life but when I first took piano lessons as a kid I HATED them. I didn’t enjoy putting in the work. But I do now because people change. And so maybe one day I will learn to draw but not right now. And that’s okay.

And then I start thinking about singing. There’s this sentiment that people are just naturally gifted, especially at singing. But at least for me that’s not the case. I’m good at singing because as a kid I loved it. I gravitated toward it. I sung all the time to the radio, mimicking the voices I heard. And I listened to SO MUCH music—partially because of my parents but also because I chose to always have the radio or a CD or my trusty mp3 player going. When I was playing with my dolls. When I was riding my bike. When I was in the shower. When I was at dance class. When I was dragged along to my siblings' sports games, I would build worlds while tuned into the nearest iHeartRadio station. (Airplanes feat. Hayley Williams. I loved it. I loved the storytelling. Pt. 1 but oh when the oh so rare Pt. 2 came through over the FM waves it was the best day of my life.)

Eventually, my parents put me into voice lessons. I learned how to sing rather than mimic. (Not that the latter is bad.) But I learned how to use it as an instrument. And I sang and I sang and I sang. In lessons. In choir. In church. That’s why I’m good at singing. It took me forever to learn how to harmonize. I was a soprano—it was always melody. But I’m learning that too as my voice changes. I can’t sing as high as I used to. I haven’t practiced notes off the staff since high school. Life is just skills. I was focusing on different ones. Like film (but we’ll get to that.)

There was something else always there. I don’t know how many people knew it—the extent. You had to live with me to see it…but I loved nothing more than I loved reading. 

I always had my nose in a book. Like a lot of kids who consumed books non-stop it was definitely escapism. But I read and I read and I read. The classic question in my family was “where is Mary?” And the answer was always “in her room.” And if I wasn’t reading a story I was creating one. With my dolls yes, but eventually with my tiny little acer computer and with my thumbs in the notes app on my iPod Touch. (I still maintain that the notes app is where the best art happens.)

It was May in my eighth grade pre-Algebra class when my friend told me what FanFiction was and about how she had an account on good ole fanfiction.net. I made one too. I joined a Divergent roleplaying forum that lasted two months. I started writing a long-abandoned backstory for my character—Antoine, named at intermission of the high school production of West Side Story I was watching. It was bad. But I didn’t know it at the time. I thought I was doing something important and I guess I was.

The Divergent forum didn’t last long but a few months later I would create my own. Welcome to Camp Half Blood! Join in! Make an OC! I brought my friends over from the old forum and even as Admin my authority was immediately usurped. We built worlds. And then we rebuilt them. And then our worlds had baby worlds. Generation 1, Gen 1.5 (you suggest a teen pregnancy plot line as a joke one time while on a choir trip in Yorkshire ONE TIME and then you wake up and uh oh two characters are actually teen pregnant), Gen 2, on and on and on. There’s a whole Google Sheets document. It’s deeply comprehensive and filled with all our faceclaims and timelines and playlists.

We rarely wrote action in our roleplay. We mainly talked. Dialogue and dialogue and dialogue for years. I get compliments now on my dialogue in fics. It didn’t come from nowhere. It came from cringe-y exchanges with my friends as we fell in love with each other’s self inserts over and over and over again. I stayed up on school nights until 2am quietly wheezing only to fall asleep in Algebra 1 over my scribbled cursive poetry on the graph paper. Life is skills. I was choosing which ones to build.

It was never math.

It was stories.

In the singing. In the dance (competition team—burned me out. I was never the best athlete. I was always the most expressive. I was telling the story.) In the theatre. And in the little fan videos I would make with my friends for our OCs over on fanfiction.net.

So my dumbass went to film school. And like with singing I learned about stories. How to craft them. And I wrote bad scripts. And we made bad low budget films. And I was so scared of cameras but I learned how to use them. And I directed and I got good at that especially with documentaries. Looking at all the information and chasing down the story. Telling people who were faster editors than me where to cut. Telling people who could make the camera capture what I saw in my eye what to film. God I fucking loved it. And I miss it.

Because my dumbass went to seminary. Why? Because there were these ancient stories that were really important to me that were being used to harm others. And I wanted to learn them. And I wanted to be able to show that there was a different way than the one that spews hatred. And as Phoebe Bridgers sings I “went looking for a creation myth ended up with a pair of cracked lips.” And I’m figuring all that out still. What to do with these stories that mean so much to me. How to tell them. How to Robin Hood theology.

And as my life and my faith were falling apart. I looked at my tiny little shithole apartment. And how I used to hide in my room where I felt safe. And I made that apartment feel safe. It was my room now. And I walked out to my bookshelf and I saw a book I had bought and opened it up. And on the inside of the cover there was a map just like there was in all the best books from my childhood. So I stayed up until 3am reading it. And then the next night. And the next night. And then I bought the sequel and I read about a boy who thought he was going to be something and then he wasn’t that anymore. And he was lost and angry and self-destructive just like me. But then in the last part of the trilogy he decided at the last second to try to figure it all out. And I’m still trying to do that too.

I had been writing all along—non-fiction. Papers. Essays. (Metas—really.) And I learned how to approach a text. How to analyze it in one million different ways. And I think I took those skills I learned from the Bible and I stuck them on some YA trilogy. And I thought and I thought and I had something to say.

And I wrote. And I keep getting better. Because life is just skills.

So I was watching The Bear and Will Poulter as a baker talks about how he used to see some other baker as competition. Until he decided he wasn’t and instead he just tried to keep up. And I want to keep up. And I watch these television shows and I read your fics and I get so fucking inspired. 

And I look at this stupid fucking soccer fic I love with my whole chest and I think about how life is just skills and they all have led me to be able to write it. And I know that in ten years when I’m 34 I’ll probably think it’s cringey just like I think that what I wrote when I was 14 is cringey. But GOD I’m so proud of it. And I think I always will be.

Because life is just skills and I’m really glad I chose these ones.

TL;DR I’ve never been the best “athlete” (had the best skills in a particular medium) but goddamn if I’m not a good fucking storyteller.

[foxgirl]

I AM SO SILLY. ASKS ARE TURNED ON NOW....

FUCKING THEY. they made an afterlife just for the two of them do you guys ever think about that

they are perfect. they love each other so much. they canonically frolicked in the grass and under the sun and if she was a tree in the past life then he was the sun i think because he can be so gentle and so cruel and THE first carmen's memory angela recalls is ayin's warm smile

but they also were massive freaks. i mean. not every day you meet a man whos mind got so soaked with grief he broke his city's most punishible taboo to bring his lover back not every day you meet a woman who curses her lover with thousands of years of torturous search for that one answer she yearned for because she trusted him so so much and she believed he would be able to bear the misery she would inflict on him oh and they also killed enoch together <3 i think most people forget they both had to aprove his participation and they both disregarded that children cannot consent. both of them are very pro-human experimentation

and like also. the imagery.... gold and blood. light and apples. adam is both adam and eve and carmen is both the sin and the serpent

my cutesy "playing with them like dolls" scenario is them meeting as young adults and minmaxing higher education. he was doing computer science and she was doing biology. he went to biology to catch up and she got her psychology degree. and then they went for neurobiology together <3

my horror "playing with them like dolls" scenario is him eating her corpse after the surgery idk i've been having brainworms about "you have invaded...me" and "i bite off your skin exposing angels on your ribs" and yyeeeeaaahhh something's going on there. their teeth may be itching

ALSO

the theme of love being for oneself. love as posession, as ownership. now that they are in the light he is forever hers. she is forever his. they made an afterlife just for the two of them

[little-blurry-stars]

hiiii i am here to tell you about the dolls of new albion the steampunk opera

so basically it starts with like. a narrator. there is a narrator whose name is kate and she talks about how this town came to be which is basically. a long long time ago there were a gambler and a monk and they had an intense philosophical debate and wanted to decide the winner with a game of cards which went on for Very Long. like so long that they had to build a whole city around it and people would come and watch them play cards. and there is a red haired dwarf with just one eye whose affairs he decides with a pair of silver dice over the zeppelin union pilots a castrati boss presides and we hear his song each afternoon as he flies by. theres prisons made of lead and gargoyles of iron shreds and annabel mcalistair whos raising up the dead ((: this is our first protagonist!! she had no friends growing up because her father was mean and made her do math and science instead and at high school she met this guy jasper and they kissed once but then she got expelled for stealing dead bodies and jasper got married and had a daughter named fay and recently he died. and annabel is very sad and now she wants to bring him back and she resurrects jasper as a lifesize mechanical doll but he can't really speak or move he just plays radio broadcasts sometimes. and annabel is really happy now because she has a friend ((: but jasper was ok dead and he did not want to be brought back. and so annabel is very sad ): and she destroys him again and hides all of her notes and discoveries forever gets married and has a child named edgar who is an asshole. and she died when he was ten and basically what im saying is annabel did nothing wrong in her life ever and i feel very bad for her

anyway the next act begins with an update on the shit going on in new albion basically the red haired dwarf with just one eye whose affairs he decides with a pair of silver dice was killed by his son. two girls are going around committing crimes and they have a pet albatross named simon and a brilliant mouse named sam and uhh yeah let's go meet edgar. remember how i said jasper got married and had a kid called fay when he was alive?? fay is now edgar;s girlfriend. but she is leaving him for a man named silof and there;s this song where all of this is happening called "edgar gets his heart broken" and thats where we got hte wonderful lyric from. the lyric is "i would have had the lime pie but i was dying inside" which honestly same anyway edgar is like "i want to kill you and destroy you. i want you died. #scene #anger #fuck #die #hatered" to silof and then he goes home and digs through his moms old things and finds her formula for raising the dead that no one was ever supposed to find out about oops????? and he starts a business. motherfucker is like "gather round friends today i will choose five lucky people and i will bring back a dead relative of their choice. if all goes well i will start doing it for money and you will have to pay me to bring back YOUR dead relative in the form of a lifesize mechanical doll!!! now in different colors!! ALSO I NEED ALL OF YOU TO FUCK THAT GUY SILOF UP A LOT PLEASE" then he goes up to fay and hes like "listen silof is a loser and i am rich and sexy. also i brought your dad back from the dead. but to talk to him you need to come bakc to me and not leave" and fay agrees but she hates him a lot also can jasper die already (affectionate) so yes i hate edgar a lot he should die so much forever

but edgar and fay had a child they named byron who is a poor little meow meow an d act 3 is a generation later and edgar fucked a lot of things up and now new albion is just. full of undead dolls and there is police that are trying to kill all of the dolls. byron inherited jasper not knowing who it is. and he is now in love with him?????? there is also a political movement called voodoopunk that byron is one of the leaders of alongside his best friend amelia who is also in love with him. but she also has a really shitty life in general like her dad is an asshole basically. and hte people at voodoopunk they want jasper to be mayor of new albion but then jasper sings a song through his radiobroadcast and hes like "listen guys. i was dead before all of this and i don't want to be here" and all the dolls agree and start playing it too and then amelia was like "hmm good point" and kills herself and then everyone in town got mad at the dolls and decided to burn them and byron is Panicking because tjey want to burn jasper too and he pulls him from the bonfire

then act four begins with kate reminding all of us about the gambler and the monk from the beginning. but now she also adds that right before the game was over the gambler was like "oh shit oh fuck im dying" and he swore to the monk that he would be back to finish the game and then died. and then kate tells us what happened in the meantime so byron got himself a trophy wife and they had a daughter named priscilla but when she was sti ll young byron being a part of voodoopunk got taken away by the police and her mother got taken to a mental institution and now there is lots of police going around new albion and destroying every doll that they find. and if they see you keeping one of the dolls they execute you and there is a guy called soldier 7285 who is. important basically to them idk he is Doing His Job Very Well and jasper is still alive and he hides from the police in a room with priscilla and. ok here is the thing the reason kate reminded us of the gambler and the monk. SEE BECAUSE PRISCILLA AND JASPER ARE THE GAMBLER AND THE MONK. ISNT THAT INSANE anyway jasper is like. he complains about being alive and he only stays becaue priscilla reminds him of fay and then hes like "wow haha this game sure is neverending. the only way it would end is it someone did a sacrifice" and then priscilla is like. hm. excuse me and she goes and contemplates and reaches the decision that. she will sacrifice herself for jasper to die because he sacrificed his happiness for her and oh mygod i love them so much do you understand. they love each other so much and i love them and ))): and she calls the police and confesses that she is keeping a doll and jasper is like what why the fuck did you do that and shes like dw we will meet in the afterlife (: ily and soldier 7285 and some other people arrive at the house to execute them and everyone shoots them and kills them EXCEPY for soldier 7285 because he saw that jasper and priscilla loved each other. and hes like hm i should start a revolution actually and he does that and kate is like THAT IS A STORY FOR ANOTHER TIME!!!!!! that story is a whole other musical called new albion radio hour that i still need to listen to and i will anyway what do you tjink of tdona

that's shorter than i was expecting. tbh but that sounds like a Lot

[dont-leafmealone]

heard you wanted to talk about your elaborate playlists?👀👀👀

oh you are unleashing a storm here XD

so I think the coolest duo of playlists i have are my Sokka and Yue ones. They have so much overlap because the characters themselves are so intertwined - Yue's an excellent character in her own right, but we perceive her almost entirely through Sokka, and Sokka's arc is undeniably shaped by Yue.

Sokka's playlist has the following;

Son of Man by Phil Collins (from the Tarzan soundtrack) - I think it fits Sokka's arc well, growing and becoming wiser and stronger, but not *quite* a man yet.

I'm Still Here by John Rzeznik (from the Treasure Planet soundtrack) - this one was actually on my Jet playlist first, but then I realized it fits Sokka really well. Especially paired with the scene from the movie it's in, where the main character watches his father leave on a ship, and struggles with not having a father figure to fill the space.

If I Believed by Dylan Saunders (from Twisted: The Untold Story Of A Royal Vizier) - the reason for this one I think can be summed up with the line: 'science says you're dead and gone forever / reason says I'm talking to the air / but deep within my heart / some secret hidden part / illogically insists that you are there'. it fits him and his grief and the struggle between his logical mind and his heart so well.

The Ghost Of You by My Chemical Romance - another one I picked because of how it relates to both his grief over Yue and especially the guilt he internalized after losing her.

No Way by Darren Criss, Bonnie Gruesen, Lauren Lopez and Joey Richter (from A Very Potter Sequel) - this one's a kind of goofy little song from a harry potter parody musical, but it definitely encapsulates Sokka's can-do, no-nonsense attitude, leadership, and strategism to a T.

Meanwhile on Yue's side of things we have:

What The Water Gave Me by Florence + The Machine - this song fits her well, I feel like. While the lyrics seem to be about a suicide, it also fits Yue's sacrifice to bring back the moon spirit, giving back 'what the water gave her', her family bargaining with fate to keep her alive - it all aligns very well to me.

Rabbit Heart (Raise It Up) by Florence + The Machine - also fitting the theme of sacrifice, this song feels like what I imagine Yue felt, choosing to sacrifice her life. Having to steel her courage and make peace with it.

I'm Not Strong Enough To Say No by BlackHawk - this one's fun because it works for both Yue and Sokka, but I really enjoy it being hers. The song is from the point of view of a man in love with a married woman, asking her to stay away so he won't be tempted, but in the show we see that Yue is the one who has trouble being around Sokka because she likes him too much.

Annabel by The Duhks - a song about mourning a lost loved one, asking after their spirit. It's on my Sokka playlist, but the sound of it is very Yue, I think, and in this context the song is *to* Yue so it's on her playlist too. I really like the line 'Annabel, Annabel, are you free? / will you wrap me in your legacy?'. It seems like something Sokka would ask while talking to himself and the moon, as I imagine he probably does.

Moonlight by Grace VanderWaal - a little on the nose with this one XD but I think lyrically it fits her (and Azula, but in a very different way). 'a doll made out of glass / all her friends think that she's great / but I can see through it all and she's about to break' fits so well to me. Her 'breaking' being taking charge of her life, giving herself agency, and choosing to save her people, doing what's best for them - on her own terms, not the ones someone else picked out.

I probably oughta stop here, this got really long lol.

[crowdvscritic]

round up // APRIL 23

A selection of words capturing my April pop culture experiences:

Museum

Podcast

Amy Sherman-Palladino

Muppets

Vampire

Nike

American Girl dolls

Read on for everything that brought me joy this month!

April Crowd-Pleasers

1. Renfield (2023)

Did I write a review of Renfield, an ode to the two Nic(k)s, or analysis of the Great Resignation? Yes, yes, and yes. Read whatever, in fact, I wrote at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10

2. SNL Round Up

Whether they’re spoofing my childhood toys, my young adulthood wedding commitments, or my love for the Jonas Brothers, the crew in Studio 8H has been keeping me laughing this Spring.

“Southwest Airlines Announcement” (4811 with Michael B. Jordan) 

“The Big Hollywood Quiz” (4812 with Pedro Pascal) - A great example of how no one watches the same things anymore

“Waking Up” (4812)

“Protective Mom” (4812)

“Lisa From Temecula” (4812)

“American Girl Café” (4814 with Travis Kelce)

“Bridesmaid Cult Documentary” (4816 with Quinta Brunson) - I feel seen

"Weekend Update: Co-Worker Who's Extremely Busy Doing Seemingly Nothing on Returning to the Office” (4817 with Molly Shannon) - I feel attacked

“Sally O'Malley: Jonas Brothers” (4817)

“American Girl Doll Movie Trailer” (4818 with Ana de Armas)

3. Descanso Gardens

Because I can’t resist a botanical garden! Gardens are becoming a go-to attraction for me on vacations, and the Descanso Gardens in Los Angeles did not disappoint. The day we went was not too crowded but was impressive enough to earn a huge crowd—a hidden gem for LA tourists!

4. The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel Panel at PaleyFest

The gardens were lovely, but there were two other attractions that were the real reason for my visit to Los Angeles. The first was PaleyFest to see Amy Sherman-Palladino, Daniel Palladino, and the cast of The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel! Just before the fifth and final season started on Amazon Prime, we heard Alex Borstein and Rachel Brosnahan share their mourning process for the show’s ending, Caroline Aaron and Michael Zegen reflect on what these roles have meant to them, and Tony Shalhoub crack up the crowd. (And who knew I would be so starstruck by him? When he came on stage I wanted to scream, “YOU WERE SO GOOD IN GALAXY QUEST!”) Check out SO IT’S A SHOW’s Instagram for more highlights from when my podcast co-host Kyla and I visited the Dolby Theatre (home of the Oscars!).

4. John Mulaney: Baby J (2023)

A full year ago I saw John Mulaney on his From Scratch tour, and now you can enjoy the set at home. His joke about not being interested in science “from magnets to ducks” did not make the cut (and alas now I can’t remember the setup for that punchline), but the other 90% of a show that made me laugh so hard I cried is preserved forever.

5. The Muppets. (2015-16)

Why did this gem only last 16 episodes? In this one-season single-cam sitcom, the Muppets are working on Late Night with Miss Piggy, a setting that could’ve produced comedy gold for years. With the frazzled Kermit producing, the Electric Mayhem as the in-studio band, and celebrity guests through the felt nose, I’m glad I checked out these 16 eps even though they ended on a cliffhanger. If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like for Miss Piggy to date Josh Groban or to hold grudges against every blonde actress in Hollywood, you won’t want to miss it either.

7. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret. (2023)

Special in the way that the best coming-of-age movies are. I suspect Margaret’s insecurities about boys, bras, and besties will feel relatable to Gens Z and Alpha if for no other reason than this movie’s depiction felt scarily accurate to my own experience in the mid-2000s. I promise I will never start a review with the story of my first period ever again! At least, probably—at the rate we're going, it will never be apropos again. Read the full review at ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 9/10

April Critic Picks

1. AIR (2023)

Is it controversial to say Matt and Ben’s collabs only get better? If we're playing Greatest/Best/Favorite, this might be my new ranking:

Greatest: Good Will Hunting

Best: The Last Duel

Favorite: AIR

Read my full review for ZekeFilm. Crowd: 9.5/10 // Critic: 9/10

2. The Academy Museum

The other reason I went out to Los Angeles: After years of pandemic-caused delays, I finally made it to the Academy Museum! Six floors of movie and Oscars history and memorabilia? You know I’m in my happy place, but casual movie fans will find something for them, too. Some of my favorite exhibits included the several-stories high Mount Rushmore backdrop used in North by Northwest, the gallery that used The Godfather to show each element of filmmaking, and the pianos from Casablanca. Fanny’s (named for Barbra Streisand’s character in Funny Girl) serves exceptional museum food, and I learned about deep cut filmmakers and movements I was only vaguely familiar with before I went. I’d give the Academy a gold statue for museum execution if I could!

3. Good Reads

A miscellaneous round up of good stuff I’ve read lately…

Final thoughts on 2022 Awards Season:

“How Avatar: The Way of Water Can Make $2 Billion and Still Feel Irrelevant,” Vox.com (2023)

“How Did We Let the Golden Globes Back In?” LATimes.com (2022)

Unexpected responses to Cocaine Bear:

“An Attempt to Define the ‘Good for Her’ Cinematic Universe,” Vulture.com (2023)

“The Case for Cocaine Bears,” Slate.com (2023)

Glitches in the Sports Industry Matrix:

“America’s Bad Bet on Expanding Legal Sports Gambling,” Vox.com (2023)

“Will Damar Hamlin’s Injury Change the NFL? Why a Safer Game Could Turn Away Fans,” LATimes.com (2023)

Watching trends that need to be fixed:

“Mumbling Actors, Bad Speakers or Lazy Listeners? Why Everyone is Watching TV With Subtitles On,” TheGuardian.com (2023)

“Television Is Going Exactly the Wrong Direction. I Know the Solution.” Slate.com (2023)

Explorations of our malaise at work:

“How to Care Less About Work,” TheAtlantic.com (2021)

“The Age of the Crisis of Work,” Harpers.org (2023)

All the ways—okay, just some of the way—social media is on the struggle bus right now:

“Why Every App Now Feels Like TikTok, but Worse,” NYMag.com (2023)

“How Elon Musk Turned the Blue Check Mark Into a Scarlet Letter,” Slate.com (2023)

“Commentary: If Twitter Finally Dies, Where Do We Find the Smart People?” LATimes.com (2023)

And even more miscellaneous good reads: 

“You’ll Feel Better if You Go Outside,” NewYorker.com (2021)

“The Oral History of Helm’s Deep,” Inverse.com (2022)

“I’ve Had It With Stunt Ice Cream Flavors,” Eater.com (2023)

“Clothes Make the Con Man,” NYTimes.com (2023)

“Hailey Bieber, Selena Gomez, and the Easter Egg-ification of the Hollywood Feud,” Vox.com (2023)

“Why Are TV Writers So Miserable?” NewYorker.com (2023)

4. Current Exhibits at the St. Louis Art Museum

My membership to the SLAM always pays off. In April I indulged in two special exhibits:

The Age of Armor, which showcases the history of armor and battle gear with an emphasis on suits of armor. The galleries did a great job explaining how the armor functioned and provided model pieces to try yourself, but you know my favorite part was the Black Panther and Star Wars costumes at the end!

Monet/Mitchell: Painting the French Landscape compares the work of Claude Monet and American expat Joan Mitchell, and it brought me back to my magical trip to Giverny last summer! 

5. The Private Lives of Elizabeth and Essex (1939)

Sumptous costumes and sets, Bette Davis doing the most acting, and Errol Flynn at his handsomest. This Queen Elizabeth I costume drama from Michael Curtiz is maximalist in aesthetic and romantic at its heart. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 9/10

6. Under the Umbrella: A Little Women Podcast (2023-)

Little Women superfans unite! Kate and Kelsey (friends and both teachers) are analyzing the book and film versions from every angle, and if you love the March sisters, Louisa May Alcott, or Greta Gerwig, they are going to be your new best friends. 

7. Just Like Us: The Tabloids That Changed America (2022)

Last spring the Ringer Dish podcast did a deep dive into the ‘00s tabloids and their obsession with Brangelina, Bennifer, and ‘90s child stars gone wild—so basically everything I obsessed over in middle school. Bottom line: They probably didn’t make our world better, but those mags (and emerging online blogs and reality TV) sure tapped into parts of our brains that made them addictive. This eight-episode series challenges any assumption we have about about celebrity gossip being harmless—or frivolous.

Until May’s Round Up…

In spite of the current state of things, I’m still tweeting in denial as @tblake24. Come join me until this platform burns to the ground!

If you want real-time updates on what I’m watching and loving, you can also find me as @tblake24 on Letterboxd. 

Photo credits: Good Reads, Under the Umbrella, Just Like Us. Descanso Gardens, PaleyFest, Academy Museum, and SLAM my own. All other IMDb.com. 

[corpseaten]

good morning, i am up for my medicine.... i hope your walk will be alright! your shoes remind me of a dolls. as for science, i actually finished up the unit i was planning on doing and started a second one. i am taking earth and space science, so there is no actual math or regular science-y stuff involved, which definitely makes things easier on me! i have never been good at science either. but this course is just things such as "what are the planets made of" and "how are stars made". 

i also have no diamonds.... i blew them all on the new naru scout, and did not even get her! though, luckily enough, i got her spark card with the free pull. i had gasped so hard i thought my soul left my body, i was not expecting her after my previous lack of luck.. if i can grind enough, i am hoping to pull for ibara and jun. though i do like a lot of characters in this set. 

and, while it is probably not my place, i do hate how people can claim they are obsessed with you and just leave you after a week (because that was, coincidentally, the same amount of time we had before i got blocked for three weeks). what even is the point, i wonder.. - ⚰️

Good Morning, Coffin , I hope you slept well! Happy Medicine time. It was an okay walk, though, I do not feel any better upon arriving home , I suppose I feel empty, I just will sit waiting until somebody fills the gap. Ah, they do ? That makes me happy , I desire to look more like a doll in the future , I just think the shoes are so cute ! That sounds quite interesting , we do not have that kind of science class where I am . . . I hated normal science , I am not meant to be a woman in stem ! I can answer that for you . . The stars are made by me, in my lonely nights I stay awake and craft them all by hand, hoping they’ll make someone at least a little happy. ～♪

I used mine on the naru scout too . . though I did get her ! I wanted her so I could use the point bonus in fines event — blondes love me! Ahhhh I’m happy you got her in the free pull , that’s amazing ! She was repaying you for not coming home before. I’ll just hope I get lucky in my other free pulls, as I cannot afford to spend until watarus comes out . . . as I am going for full album of him . . only missing two cards currently ( one is limited three star one is an event 4 star ) , this set is pretty good.

I hate it as well, I believe every time someone I don’t know tells me they’ll stay with me forever and that they’re devoted for me . . . because, I can become devoted back to someone in such a short period of time I just! presume i’ve finally met someone who can do it in return . . then they’ll just disappear and leave me waiting . . it Is like I am just a toy. Not that I mind being a toy, but i’d at least like to be an owned one rather than a discarded one. I just hope one day somebody will actually become devoted to me and be just as twisted as I am . . one can dream. Ahhh we really did go through the same thing, forgive me for saying that it is rather comical.

[multistoty]

The air was full of salt and secrets. Sometimes, it felt like Wylan Van eck was oxygen and he was dying to breathe. Every butterfly in the world has migrated to his stomach. He had a heart science said, but society said that he was a monster. That smile on Wylan's face was nearly enough to make his spine crack apart. The sharp shooter loved that the man who blushes so easily in her arms is the same one who would kill a man for hurting him. They had woven their dreams together like armor. A soft spot in the gangster made him hope that they could also weave their futures. Now, he had money. Had something to give. New understanding after the fact of his near death. Happy endings can be caught, but they are difficult to hold on to. They are dreams that want to escape the night. They are treasure with wings. They are wild, feral, reckless things that need to be constantly chased, or they will certainly run away. He's never stared at the chemist like this before. Sometimes he gazed at him as if he wanted to be his undoing, but just then it was as if he wanted him to undo him. Every story had the option of infinte endings. For so long he was scared he was scared to fully trust his heart for a lifetime of mistrust scared the skin off his bones. But this was Wylan. His rosey red cheeks. Beautiful dusting of freckles he had dreamed of using a quill upon. How had they waited so long? Waiting was so not a Jesper talent. His mercher's father was an evil man who had made him feel worthless. That would change today. Change for him. "Your right I don't like you, I love you, you idiot." He breathed in the whisper of space between them. How could someone be adorable and sexy at the same time? His storm tinged eyes wide enough to fit a perfect doll were a world he was drowning in. The soft nuzzle making a delighted shiver shake his form instead of the cold. God, he wanted hi, closer. But this life wasn't safe. It wasn't what he deserved even as dangerous a crow he was. Acts of romanticism in the verbal sense were not in his capabilities, but he could show him. Make his lips form kisses that spoke what his mouth couldn't. With more force than necessary, the onyx haired boy's chin back with a long languid connection of their mouths. It's the kind of kiss that inspires stars to climb into the sky and light up the world. The kind that takes forever and no time at all. It was the sort of kiss she could have lived in. The sort of kiss worth dying for. "And I will always keep you warm."

✮ ― 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐨𝐫 @multistoty

❛ i made a pun about the wind but it blows. ❜

he stared. then blinked, as if trying to get his brain caught up with what he’d just heard.he felt a ghost of a smile, a grin he dare say rising on his lips but instead of letting jesper see the grin, the turned his head to the side and tried to fight it, he did but the laugh, the giggle came out regardless of what he wanted.

“that was- that was truly terrible. did you get that from a book or something?” 

as he managed to compose himself and then looked towards jesper and cleared his throat, the smile still there no matter how hard he tried to hide it. he learned that was something the crows, or rather jesper seemed to do quite well.he wasn’t used to it yet, not by a long shot but he assumed he’d get used to it quickly, especially if he was going to hang around for long.

[icyymocha]

Somewhat brotherly love?

Warnings: None 

Pairings: Jason x GN! Reader ft. Mentioned Dick, Tim, Duke, and Damian

Summary: Y/n tries to make Jason admit that he cares about his brothers, Jason tries to deny it with causal tones

Word Count: 843

“You know for a person who acts like an asshole, quiet and has sometimes rude manners, you’re awe fully chaotic when it comes to showing your brothers how much you love them, even when you try to be subtle about it.” Y/n grinned when they entered the room seeing Jason cleaning. The raven-haired man looked like he was in thought while he used a cloth to clean his weapons. His feet were on the table as he leaned back into his chair, feeling relaxed for the first time in forever. There were many weapons that lay on his desk arranging from knives to guns to explosives.

“And what makes you say that doll?” Jason turns around and swiftly punctuates a code, the cool steel of a vault opening. Grabbing each weapon in its rightful place, he made sure they are securely put in place along with the safety kit.

“Well, for one thing, you managed to help Damian get away from the ticking bomb near one of Gotham City’s most dangerous neighborhoods, and even then, you even helped patch his wounds for him.” His ears perked at the sound of his lover chuckling at the memory. If it weren’t for them, Jason would’ve gotten a few stab wounds from Damian’s katana in the bat cave when he tried to help the demon child with his wounds and injuries.

“‘S nothing,” Jason mumbled. Shrugging off the somewhat brotherly act of love between him and ‘demon child’ as Jason likes to call for Damian.

“Oh? Then how about that one time where you helped Tim with his science project and his ‘friends’ who were supposed to help him were actually lazy asses? Y’know, when you stepped up and begin beating and threatening to scare them away in the hallways at Tim’s school?” Jason rolled his eyes at the so-called friends Tim used to have. He should’ve told that nerd to not befriend them in the first place, it was a good thing Tim was smart enough to reject them the last time they wanted to use him.

“Yes but anyone who has a brain would’ve stepped up and talked some sense into those douchebags,” Jason grumbled. He stood up to open one of the locked closets behind him, with quick movements, Jason opens the closet to find some of his more favorite weaponry to use in any situation. His favorite, the .45 firearms.

While walking behind Jason’s working station, you wrapped your arms around his waist. Jason stiffed at the innocent hug but melted in your touch. The young man placed his firearms back into the sealed closet before turning around and hugging you.

“Hmm, then what about Duke then? When he first came as a support for Batman, or that time where you helped him get used to being in the bat family?” Nuzzling your face into Jason’s chest, Jason scoffed as you grinned at the man in your arms.

“And if I remember correctly, you showed him the ways of ‘The Old Fashion way of Jason’ of the time you decided to help Dick with Duke’s training?” Jason grabbed your hands that fit like a missing puzzle piece in his, caressing it.

“It was nothing. He was a newbie to this whole superhero thing,” Jason grumbled, looking away. You didn’t need to know that the Arkham Knight is flustered. You imagined that the tip of his ears turned pink at your words.

“Okay….Then perhaps this would make you admit that you actually care about your brothers Jay.”

“Remembered when Dick came to visit the Manor when he was off duties at the tower of Teen Titans?”

“It was very simple yet it held so much meaning to Dick ever since you came to visit him on his birthday and gift him a little present.

I should’ve recorded the funny scene with the two eldest brothers not admitting they care for each other. H—hey! Don’t glare at me, you know I’m right!—you couldn’t even look at Dick or anyone else after that brotherly moment!”

If anything Jason is stubborn as a bull. He knows, you know, what you said was true. Even though Jason has a rough past that made him built a thick wall around his fragile heart, he could never fully hate on his brothers. After all those fights, those tears, the laughs, Jason loves them all wholeheartedly. Even when there are some times where all of them, if not most of them, are a pain in the ass.

“I guess…I admit I do somewhat care for them—“

“Suuureeee. You somewhat care for them,” you smirked up at him. Jason gave you a hearty glare.

“Shut up, they’re still a pain in my ass doll,” Jason sighs as he hugs you just a little bit tighter. You giggled. It was enough for you to take that as an answer out of him. Maybe just maybe, he’ll admit it on his own in the future, but for now, Jason is comfortable letting his not so subtle subtle acts of care for his brothers.

[shemarmooresfedora]

Protective of the Princess

Summary: Jo comes home with some unexpected news and Spencer isn’t a fan. (This is a stand-alone one-shot of my completed ‘Rebuilding Family’ series)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader

Content/Warnings: mentions of little kids kissing, spencer freaking out, fluff

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: based on this ask from @reidsbookclub and this ask from @samuel-de-champagne-problems

Masterlist

Spencer made it clear to Jo she could be anything she wanted to be growing up.

She would change her mind about her career path quite often but Spencer was always supportive. When she wanted to be a vet, she had a bunch of different stuffed animals to practice on. When she wanted to be an astronaut, you all built a rocket ship out of a cardboard box. When she wanted to be a scientist, Spencer got her a book set of kid’s science books.

One afternoon after school, Jo hopped up on the kitchen counter as Spencer was making her a snack and you were playing with the twins on the floor.

“Daddy, I can’t go to work any more,” Jo stated.

“Why not, Princess?” Spencer asked, sliding apple slices and peanut butter in front of her.

“I have a baby and husband now,” Jo explained.

“You got a baby and husband in one day?” you questioned.

“Thomas kissed me and then we got married under the slide at recess and now we have a baby. I don’t have time for work, Daddy,” Jo sounded exasperated.

“Thomas did WHAT?” Spencer gaped.

“He kissed me like you kiss Mommy every morning before work,” she demonstrated the little peck on her baby doll.

Spencer’s eyes widened, “Y/N, please help.”

You stood from the blanket where the twins were having tummy time.

“Jo, how about you wait until you’re a little older to start kissing people? A hug or high five can show love to. You can try that next time,” you suggested.

“Daddy says kissing is safer than handshakes though,” Jo reminded you.

“Nope! I lied! Kissing is very dangerous,” Spencer shook his head empathically, “Don’t kiss.”

“But we have a baby together,” Jo held up her baby doll.

“I see that. What’s their name?” you asked.

“This is Derek,” she informed you.

“You named him after your uncle? That’s very sweet,” you smiled.

“I want a real one so I can name it Penelope. I want to have a big belly like Mommy used to have. How are babies made?” she questioned.

Spencer grasped your hand, looking very pale, “Y/N, I need to lie down.”

“One second, love,” you squeezed his hand before turning back to Jo, “You can’t have a baby until you’re much older. Then, I’ll explain it to you, okay?”

Jo nodded.

“I need to take Daddy to bed. He’s feeling a little sick,” you told her, “You can play with the twins.”

“Actually,” Spencer slipped his hand out of yours, “I’m going to go for a drive. I’ll be back in a bit.”

You looked at him curiously as he leaned in for a kiss but then retreated under the watchful eyes of Jo.

You followed him into the entryway as he laced his converse up, “Where are you going?”

“I’ve never heard of a Thomas before until now. I need Penelope to check this kid out.”

“Check this kid out?” you laughed, “What are you expecting to find? A nine year old with a criminal record?”

“I need to make sure my daughter is safe,” he looked up at you seriously.

“Okay,” you relented, “You’re a great dad albeit very protective,” you kissed him goodbye.

“Are we going to start having to only kiss in private now?” you smirked.

“I don’t want her seeing and copying it at school,” Spencer sighed, “The last thing I want is to get a phone call from her teacher that our daughter needs to stop kissing people.”

“Okay, sneaking around could be fun anyways,” you smiled, giving him another kiss, “Tell the team I say hi.”

-

“Who does this Thomas kid think he is?” Spencer grumbled to himself as he was in the elevator, “Kissing my sweet little precious daughter. I should have him arrested. Maybe I don’t have the grounds for an arrest but I can show him my badge and scare him off.”

His ranting stopped as he knocked on Penelope’s door.

“Who is it?” she chirped.

“Spencer,” he replied, “I brought you a croissant.”

“It’s open!”

Spencer opened the door and handed her the paper bag.

“And it’s still warm!” she squealed, “You must really love me.”

“I do but I also need a favor,” he spoke.

“Name it, boy wonder,” she readied herself at her keyboard.

“I need you to look up a boy named Thomas in Jo’s class.”

“Is this kid bullying her?” she gritted her teeth, “I swear to god, I will reign hell down on this kid if he is.”

“No, it’s the opposite actually. He kissed her,” Spencer sighed.

“She already got her first kiss?” Penelope gasped.

“I know! I didn’t even have mine until 25,” Spencer replied.

Penelope clicked away at her keys, “We’ve got two Thomases in her class but according to the attendance record, Thomas Jacobson was out sick today meaning Thomas Bennett is our guy.”

“What do we know about him?” Spencer asked, crouching down to look at Penelope’s screen.

“Plays on the town soccer team, has an allergy to shellfish, good report card,” Penelope stated.

“Anything else? Any visits to the principals? Sketchy friends?” he questioned.

“I guess the sketchiest friend he has would be his imaginary friend named Robby the cowboy according to his mom’s facebook. He’s got a squeaky clean school record.”

“Let me see what this kid looks like,” Spencer desperately demanded.

Penelope gave him a look.

“Please,” he added.

The group class pictures of the past 3 years popped up on to Penelope’s screen. Each year, Jo and Thomas were standing next to each other smiling and laughing in various poses.

“He doesn’t look like much of a threat to me,” Penelope stated.

“Why hasn’t she ever asked for him to come over on a playdate?” he asked.

“She was probably scared her dad was going to embarrass her,” Penelope chuckled.

“She’s in 3rd grade! No boys!” Spencer crossed his arms.

“That rule is setting you up for a rebellious stage later in life,” Penelope rolled her eyes.

“So I just let this happen?” Spencer sighed, dropping into the chair next to Penelope.

“Yes, you’re supposed to protect her but not from nice boys who make her happy.”

“But she’s just my sweet little girl,” Spencer started to tear up.

“And she always will be but you need to let her live her life,” Penelope explained.

“I know. Thanks Penelope.”

-

You heard the car pull in while you were making dinner. You lowered the setting on the stove and made your way over to the door.

“Hey,” you greeted him, wrapping your arms around him.

“Hi,” he snuggled into the crook of your nest.

“Did you find Thomas on the FBI’s most wanted list?” you joked.

“No, he’s a good kid,” Spencer sighed in defeat, “I just don’t like the thought of her growing up. Then, she’ll eventually have to leave us.”

“That’s what being a parent is,” you whispered, “You love them, care for them, and prepare them for the world as best you can but then you have to set them free. But, I have good news for you,” you smiled.

“What?”

“You’re stuck with me forever,” you grinned.

“Thank god,” Spencer squeezed you tighter.

“Daddy!” Jo ran into the room, “Lion King is playing in theaters tonight! We need to go!”

“Okay, Princess,” he looked to you for support and you squeezed his hand, “Do you think Thomas would want to come?”

“Yes! He loves Lion King!” Jo exclaimed, running to go get ready.

“You’re a great dad,” you reminded him once again.

“I’m still going to be watching this kid like a hawk,” Spencer admitted.

“As you should,” you grinned, kissing him.

Soon enough, Jo came home next week saying she wanted to be a congresswoman and they were back to their old adventures.

main taglist (just ask to be added/removed): @samuel-de-champagne-problems @ssacalumsg0lden @spencerreid9 @averyhotchner @coldlilheart @k-k0129 @ickleronniekinsemotionalrange @harrystylesandthegoobs @cmily @jswessie187 @hoodpankow @mochionly @spencerreid-187 @babymetaldoll @fics4arainyday @ssavanessa22 @all-tings-diego @idonotexiste @beepbooptoop @tvandfanfic @mggsprettygirl @big-galaxy-chaos @navs-bhat @spencerreidsmommy @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @mggs-sidehoe @rexit-mo @hufflepuffhaze @thisismynerdyself @xoxospencerreid @wifeyprentiss @reidsbookclub @spencersrose @pinkdiamond1016 @muffin-cup @a-little-bit-of-everything19

one-shot only taglist: @strawberryspence @fbivestreid

[tojismaiden]

SNK Male Characters as Yandere's (Modern AU)

WARNING: will contain dark themes.

Eren the Violent

It's a known fact that Eren doesn't have the best temper in the world.

But for you, he'd try his best to be patient. Key word: Try.

When Eren saw you, you were like the light at the end of the tunnel. The rainbow after the rain. The finish line. The trophy. The angel that every devil sought after.

You were kind to almost everybody but you were also fearless when you need to be. You helped everyone that you could and that included Eren. He got into another fight? You'd patch him up. He's lashing out on someone again? You'd calm him down. Everytime he needed someone, you were there.

So who could possibly blame him for falling for you? For wanting you?

At first, it was just an innocent crush he had on you. But days passed and he found himself growing more agitated. You were just too good, too pure. Eren knew that deep down, he had to have you. He's lost so much in his life, he can't lose you too.

So when the time came that he confessed, imagine his surprised and embarrassment when you told him you were with someone else. Of course, Eren being Eren, he'd pretend it's nothing and carry on with his day.

You thought none of it of course and kept treating Eren as how you saw him as; a friend.

Eren isn't the most patient man in the world, and neither is he the most calm one.

So please don't be surprised if you find your s/o brutally murdered.

"Oh, Y/N. I'm so sorry about your partner. I heard what happened. Such a shame, really."

"It's okay, Eren... I just— I just don't understand. Who would do something like this?"

"I don't know. But whoever it was, the person may not have liked your partner at all. In fact, that person might have hated them."

Your partner's death saddened you immensely but you were thankful that Eren was with you as you grieved. However, the more you spent time with Eren, the more concerned your friends got. They had bad vibes with him.

And Eren felt they don't particularly like him.

So the next time you see a news about an unknown killer going around?

Ignore it.

Your friends falling as victims of the said killer? Ignore it.

After all, Eren did it for you. So you could be together.

Forever.

Armin the Manipulative

There's no denying that Armin is smart. Way too fucking smart.

He would top in his classes and everyone came to him whenever they needed help with their homework.

But what exactly did Armin like about you? Simple. It's your sincerity.

Sure, he has friends and sure, his classmates would thank him whenever he helped them but with you, Armin could really feel like you learned something from him. It wasn't like the usual where the other would get the answers to their questions but obtained nothing from his explanation.

With you, you really applied what he taught you.

And Armin felt... appreciated. Like he wasn't being used to people's advantages.

So ever since then, Armin would willingly help you. Even offering to tutor you privately, free of charge! And each time you two spent time together, Armin's feelings for you grew stronger. The stronger they got, the more he got slightly too infatuated with you.

Weekly tutors turned into everyday tutors to the point where Armin would even tutor you during the weekend!

But who were you to say no? You were so thankful. If it weren't for Armin, you might have backloaded a subject or worse, repeated a grade!

You barely had time for your friends anymore but Armin assured you that it's better this way. That it's better if you prioritized your study sessions with him because your friends would just distract you.

And hey, come to think of it. Weren't they the reason you slept so late the last few weeks and almost made you miss an exam?

However, as busy as you are, you somehow found yourself in a situation where you got into a date with someone. An upperclassmen one of your friends introduced you to back then.

And when Armin found out, he was livid. But he loves you so much that he couldn't possibly bear to hurt you, no. Instead, he saved you from the inevitable torment.

"Y/N, you did this portion wrong, do it again." "Y/N! Didn't I tell you to replace this number with this? Do it again." "We're not stopping until you get it right."

Sure, Armin can be strict, but it's for your own good.

"Y/N, I apologize if I was harsh today. I just want to see you do good. And I'm so proud of you. I really believe you'll ace this test this week."

"I-It's okay, Armin. And thank you for helping me again. I promise I'll—"

"Say, Y/N, you should really stop seeing that person. I heard you were going out on a date with (Your crush's name). I suggest you don't. I heard they're going out with a friend of yours. (You friend's name) is their name, I think?"

"W-What? Where did you heard that?"

"Everyone's been talking about it. Plus, I think the reason you're doing pretty bad today is because of them. So please, Y/N, we worked really hard for you to get such good scores. Wouldn't you wanna make your senpai proud?"

You're so thankful for Armin. And you really don't want to disappoint him after all of what he's done for you.

So what better way to repay him than be obedient?

Jean the Stalker

It's not rocket science that Jean is a handsome young man.

But when he saw you? Oh, boy. He felt as if everything in the world felt right. You were just so fucking beautiful. The first time he saw you, he just couldn't look away. It felt as if his breath got knocked out of him.

He was sure you were a God/Goddess walking on Earth. Never had he seen someone so ethereal.

But the thing is, you were just so out of his league. While everyone kept talking to you, made friends with you, flirted with you, Jean stood from afar and watched you from the distance.

Sure, he follows your social media accounts. But he couldn't help but make dummy accounts and followed your accounts as well. He didn't want to take the risk of accidentally liking a picture of yours from years back with his personal account.

He didn't want you to think of him as a weird stalker or something because Jean is definitely not a stalker, no. Just no chance of him being that.

What Jean didn't know, is that you never noticed him at all. It's not your fault though, he was usually quiet and blended in the background. If you ever did see him around, you'd forget about him soon after. A shame, really.

But don't let Jean know that.

What started as him following your social media accounts turned into him just simply following you around.

He took note of you always stopping by at this convenient store right after class to buy your favorite drink and favorite sandwich almost everyday before you go home.

It happened so frequently, him walking with his hoodie on, head hung low as he walked a few steps behind you and somehow watching you buy the exact same thing everyday.

But everytime, Jean would only stop by at the convenient store. Once you were done, he would walk home. He didn't want to follow you home. Well, it's not that he didn't want to, it's just that he doesn't have the courage yet.

However, curiosity got the best of him and at night, when you were going home late, he followed you on your way home and you swore you could feel as if someone was follow you.

"Who's there?" Nothing.

When Jean successfully followed you home, it was like something inside him flicked open. And every night, he would stop by outside your home for an hour or so and every night he would see your silhouette as you took off your clothes and changed into comfier ones, and Jean had thoughts where he'd imagine just how you looked underneath them.

With each passing day, you felt as if you were continuously being watched. Being followed.

Maybe next time, you should really learn how to close your window.

Say, do you remember where your favorite underwear went?

Erwin the Blackmailer

You could never really ask for a better boyfriend. Erwin has it all.

At least, that's what you thought in the first few years of your relationship.

Erwin was everything you wanted and more. And he loved you so much... way too much.

And truthfully, you loved Erwin too. But there's no denying he's gotten so unbearable.

Back then, you would have done everything for Erwin. But every bit of love that you had for this man was now replaced with fear.

When Erwin began to openly express his obsession with you and his primary goal of making you all to himself, you had run away from him, far too scared of the lengths he'd go through just to satisfy this... obsession of his.

You noticed it little by little. But never had you thought it would come to this.

It started small at first. He would stop you from spending time with your friends little by little until you could no longer see them.

He would say something about them being bad influences. Going as far as to make up convincing lies that you, stupidly fell for.

After that, he stopped you from seeing your own family. Cut ties with those who are important to you. Deprived you your freedom. For he thought that you, going outside meant that you would meet someone else other than him.

And the thought of someone even merely looking at you made his blood boil.

But everytime you ran away from him, he would find you. Doesn't matter if you hid from him for weeks, months. He would end up finding you each and everytime.

At first, Erwin liked the cat and mouse game that you played. He thought it was thrilling. But then he slowly realized you were gaining this new profound strength. As if you thought that he wouldn't do anything except to find you and drag you back with him.

"I'm not going with you anymore, Erwin! I'm sick of this shit. You're all bark but no bite. Well, guess what? I'm done. And I'm not coming back!"

"Bark but no bite, eh? I wish you hadn't said that, Y/N. Say, your best friend doesn't live too far from here. You wouldn't mind if I pay them a visit, right? I'm sure they're worried about you, doll."

Ever since then, Erwin would blackmail you by threatening to hurt your loved ones if you didn't do as you were told.

This made your fear for him to go back and one time where you did disobey him despite his threats, you received a news where your bestfriend was found badly beaten in a dark alley and the perpetrator was nowhere to be found. Your bestfriend almost died if the suspect hadn't stopped.

And deep down, you knew this was Erwin's doing. It served as a warning that he wasn't afraid to kill for you so long as you stayed with him.

"I'm doing this for us, doll. Why can't you see how much I love you?"

"They don't deserve you, Y/N. They aren't willing to go for miles for you. But me, I would do anything to keep you by my side. Isn't that what you wanted? You said you didn't want to lose me, right?"

Erwin loved you so much. He wouldn't want to risk losing you ever again.

Maybe he should try going after your family this time the next time you try and run away from him.

Levi the Possessive

Levi had lost more people than he could count. So the moment he saw you?

He didn't want to let go.

What's scary about Levi is that you don't know what he's thinking of. He would never let you know what it is that runs through his mind.

He knows, however, that you're just like him. You lost your family and you barely had any friends. And you worked as a waiter/waitresss at this local diner to earn money for your tuition fee.

Levi understands. He's been through that struggle and he could see it on your face. He took note of everything you did. And he made a habit of coming in for tea even though the tea in the diner tasted like shit. But if you made it, he would make sure to leave an extra tip.

Levi made sure that it was you who would serve him everytime. If it were someone else, he would request for you immediately.

You never really noticed Levi, in all honesty. It wasn't his fault. It's not that he's not attractive. It's just that you were too far in your head to even look or strike a conversation with him.

You were quiet and obedient and somehow Levi liked that about you. It just means you would put up a less of a fight. Means it would be easier to convince you. Means that you would always say yes.

Though Levi hoped that underneath that submissive nature to you, you would somehow have a backbone there. Being too compliant would bore him to death.

And he witnessed that when you suddenly snapped at a customer for being perverted. You were almost fired on the spot if it weren't for the fact that Levi testified for you.

That was the first time you truly noticed him.

Ever since then, you made sure that you would be the one to serve Levi everytime he came by. And you made his tea extra special, which he appreciated. It was the least you could do after he helped you out the other day.

Days passed and Levi had successfully scored a date with you. The first time he saw your apartment, he was really glad to see it clean and organized despite its dinginess and small size. It was all you could afford.

Levi suggested a stay-in date at your place, just so he could see if you were fit to live with him. Once he saw how great of a cook you are, how tidy you are and everything, he knew it was time to eventually convince you.

Sex with Levi meant that he would top you. All of the fucking time. And everytime it happened, he would always mutter the same thing to you:

"You're mine. All fucking mine."

Of course, you treated it as simple dirty talk. Men say that all the time, right?

Eventually, Levi brought up the idea of you living with him. At first, you declined. You couldn't possibly do that. But Levi having a silver-tongue meant he eventually convinced you.

Living with Levi was a walk in a park. You'd help him clean and would tell him that you would help out with the bills but you were surprised when he told you that you didn't have to worry about that.

"Just sit down and look pretty for me, brat. That's all you need to do. You don't have to worry about the money."

You didn't like that Levi didn't want you to help with the bills but you couldn't possibly retort something back. He let you live in a nice home with a nice bathroom. Who were you to have a say in things?

Days passed, and Levi somehow brought up the topic of you quitting your job.

"What? But I like—"

"Like being a waiter/waitress? Come on, Y/N. Your colleagues are absolute assholes and don't get me started on your manager. I see how he looks at you."

"I'm sure that's not true, Levi..."

"Are you doubting me?"

"W-What? N-No, I—"

"That's a good girl. You know I'd hate it if those dingy dickwads were to look at what's mine, right?"

You quit your job.

Levi knew you'd be bored inside the house so in return, he let you sign up in one of those online courses to keep you busy.

It was all coming into plan. Finally, he got the partner for life he always dreamed of. The one that would cook him dinner everytime he came home from work. Would pleasure him in bed when he's stressed. Would clean without him having to ask you.

You were so perfect.

People hadn't heard from you for months. But Levi convinced you that there's no need if people heard from you or not. Eventually, they would forget about you. You had no family, you had no friends, all you had was Levi.

And if you found out that Levi would lock you inside the house everytime he left for work, you would choose to stay silent.

And if he were to ask you to wear a chain around your ankle, who were you to say No?

After all, Levi gave you everything.

Levi was your everything.

And you were everything to Levi.

How could he ever share something so precious to the world?

[yandere-wishes]

Dr.Frankenstein

💀Yandere Idia Shroud x Reader

💀Summary: Idia wants to prove the world wrong. To show that there is more to life than good and bad, villains and heroes. But somewhere along the way, he falls in love with what he is trying to prove. 

💀Warnings: Dead reader, delusional tendencies, gore,

💀Edited by my beloved Peri!! @tealyjade-libran

💀 Alternative title: Dr. Frankenstein falls in love with his monster. 

Idia had known, from an all too young age that his heart was fashioned to be enraptured with misery and sympathy.  

Once before, a few thousand eons ago, Idia had been a meager child, boyish, shy and happy with life. Sitting on his mother's lap, as her thinner than bone fingers ignited themselves on his scorching hair. He'd listen as her sunken lips recited story after story from forgotten books and dead myths. content, long ago he had known the feeling of contentment. 

And yet said feeling had died so long before Idia even comprehended the narrative behind death. His joy at hearing tales about daring heroes and bewildering gods ran dry all too soon. He'd grown numb to the stories of good and evil, the same formula used over and over and over again. Good won, good prevailed; evil lost, evil vanished. It lacked logic and sense. The probability behind mindless heroes saving the day each and every time was astronomical. It couldn't happen. Yet the history of their world and his darling mother's tongue told a different tale. 

-Not only could it be done, but rather it had been done on endless occasions.-

There had, however, been one story that stood out amongst the rotten batch. An anecdote that lacked morals and didn't defy a single law of nature. One would never think that a god born would find solace in a tale of a simple human trying to play god. The only story that sunk deep into his arteries like fragile needles, swimming through his blood before pricking manically at his heart. The only story mama told with faint nostalgia and a distant voice. The spiel of a scientist, whose mind was both his greatest ally and worst foe. A man who looked at the heavens with neither admiration nor hope. A mortal who wasn't satisfied with what good and bad had to offer. Dr. Frankenstein, whose one true desire was to do what gods did, to prove that he too could accomplish what the heavens claimed a miracle. 

It was then and there among the pitch black of his parent's room that the oldest -no the only- son of the Shroud family proclaimed in a hoarse voice that cracked at each interval. That he too would be like Victor Frankenstein. That he too would live in a world of his own, a world with no room for good and evil. A world free of wretched stories that filled the minds of jovial children. And on that day, fate had the gall to listen to the claims of a brainless brat. 

Even after countless millennia, Idia Shroud had not changed, he'd only grown into the role he forged for himself some centuries ago. 

Yet nobody ever said it would be so hard to suffer the pain of a once maddening genius. The stories made it seem easy, made Frankenstein’s pain into pretty poetry that held only a fraction of the weight. Idia came to question time and time again, what it really was he was trying to suffer for. Why did he bestow upon himself the endless torment of alienation from a world that he too longed to be a part of?

Victor Frankenstein had something to prove, he longed to be a god in the most unclassic way. All the frenetic doctor wished was to shout at all mankind and the heavens above that he was the greatest. For in his suffrage he had discovered the antidote to what sets men apart from gods. That he, the overlooked boy, the forgotten pupil had -with solely his intellect- created life. 

-Idia too desired to do just that. To scream at this fairy tale world that he, the cursed heir, the villain, the monster, was superior to every prince and hero in existence.-

Somewhere along the line, in the space between todays and tomorrows, he'd somehow lost the method behind the madness he had come to cage himself within. He lost purpose, lost hope, forgot why he'd declared to earth and Olympus that he too would be a genius akin to Dr. Frankenstein. 

Idia didn't know what spark had flared his senses, what made him realize what it was he lacked from the hopeless doctor. He liked to think it had been the moment glacial fingers rinsed in fair blood and washed away gold and been stripped from his pale clammy hands. Phantom kisses had waltzed away from his burning cheek to float back into the spiral from which they had risen. 

The dead marching back to the land of the deceased.

Leaving him to crawl back into the dark pits of his self-made hell.

Only this time, he'd understand why Frankenstein had dedicated his life to seclusion. Why he'd taken gulps of anguish, rather than air. 

It was so painfully obvious, sitting in front of him on a golden throne this whole time. How in Hades' name had he been so blind? How had he forgotten?

Although admittedly his chagrin of forgetting far outweighed his elation of finally remembering. Frankenstein hadn't suffered for not, he had suffered to build, to create. His isolation wasn't of choice but rather out of necessity. 

-The monster-

 The Monster was Frankenstein's raison d'être, The final fruit of his endless labors. He had risked everything to build him and that's exactly what Idia would do too. 

Victor Frankenstein had his monster. 

Idia Shroud would have his monster.

//

It was on a dreary night that Idia beheld the accomplishment of his toils. anxiety burned through his fragile body, amounting ever so quickly to agony. Thoughts of do's and don't's flooded his body, pilling on top of each other like corpses after a genocide.

Inside the lights were just barely surviving, every few minutes they would flicker breathing in a final breath before a short death, only to be revived minutes later, spilling their artificial glow throughout the chamber. The room itself reeked of rotting flesh and something so sickly sweet, it almost made the dorm leader of the nearly deceased heave. 

Idia's eyes remain static, seemingly stitched to the thing on the metal slab of a table. The body lays limp like a porcelain doll. No, not a doll, Idia thinks, like the monster, Frankenstein’s monster before it arose from its deathly slumber. 

Outside A flash of lightning crackles through the night sky, rough sparks of electricity flow through the murky air. They jolt and dance before dying in the night's void. 

After it, the world falls still, trapped behind the iron bars of an endless minute. The once meek god feels a surge dance through his core. The levity of his dreams prancing about. He's close, all so close. A breath away and it will be done. A minute away and all the world will see that there's never been any need for good and evil. Morals are merely prejudice beaten into every living thing, a simple way to keep mortals in their place and gods ruling above them. 

The bloody needle in his hand slips through his leather-covered fingers, chimes as it hits the blood soaked ground. Idia's mind races through the odds and ends of everything. Through the fairy tale that is his life. He wonders, would they be proud of him? Would His darling dead brother whose soul now rests in a metal body, shut down and laid to rest in a forgotten corner, advocate what he's about to do? Would his mother's sickly lingula sing praise to him, retell the glory of her son's endeavors to the children of the accursed isle? Probably not, it's a bitter thought, but as true as they come. What parent or brother on this damn earth would be proud of their monster trying to fabricate an abomination? Who, in the millennia to come would look back on him and declare with pride that Idia Shroud had been a genius, one who stood above the heroes and villains and gods? Who would ever call him something better than a hero, better than a villain, better than a god? 

In hindsight, Idia likes to think he always knew what he was doing. Always knew that he wanted the world to remember him as the one who broke the rhythm that the universe had been dancing to for endless years. To show this story-obsessed world, that good, and evil were merely perceptions of broken minds. Ideologies fabricated to justify meaningless actions. 

Good could be bad.

Evil could be nice. 

But science prevailed over all else.

Idia's knees quivered as he bends down by the table, his pale blue lips hovered above his creation's stitched-up forehead. He knew it was wrong, so, so wrong. But it couldn't be helped. For some ungodly reason, as the days ticked by and he began to sew together the bag of mismatched limbs. Idia had, in some way, come to love his creation. He wouldn't call it love per se. But he did long to hold his fragile creation in his arms. To kiss their reddened lips as their torn tongue invaded his mouth. 

In the dead of night as he laid beside his still dead lover, no monster, not lover, not yet. He began to wonder, had Frankenstein fallen in love with his abomination somewhere along the road? Had fate once again played its silly little games and twisted their paths to forever meet? Did Victor Frankinstine ever wish to kiss his creation, to have them kiss him?

It may have been wrong. The storybook-bound people of this world may even call it evil. But it wouldn't be that way for long. Idia's fingers curled into his palm, the shards of his bitten-off nails dug deeper into his flesh. His chest tightened with a foreign sensation. A feeling that made cold sweat run down his thin neck. 

Using what little strength he had left, Idia pushed himself off the ground and wobbled over to his mainframe machine. He braced himself on the heavy machinery trying to regain a semblance of his balance. He could do this, he had to do this. 

His bony finger coiled around the silver leaver, the patched of rust bite into his skin. He held the power to defy everything. To make a new world. His golden pupils land on his fingers for a second. a faint memory of his mother slither back into his mind. It's murky and foggy but he remembers the way her boney fingers use to trail down his hair and arms and legs. How she traced ghosts and blood splatters on his chubby wrists, as she retold the story of the mad scientist. Comically enough she had been the reason why Idia had fabricated this self-induced prophecy and now he'd grown to be her spitting image. A carbon copy of the person who fueled his obsession with defying the laws of good and evil. 

The leaver budged forward, clicking in protest as Idia pulled it lower and lower. Outside thunder boomed through the air, louder and louder. Maybe the ancient gods knew what he was doing. Maybe this storm was their warning to him. Yelling and shrinking to get him to stop. Threatening him to give up this game he had played for so long. 

No.

Not this time. 

Idia had operated by the book, he'd done everything like Victor Frankenstein. No ancient deity or prized warrior would be able to stop him. The gods' threats were the last part of his plan, all he needed was the lightning, the stray string of electricity. Then you would come alive. You'd be his to hold, to love, to cherish. To show to the whole damn mindless world. 

A crackle shot through the air, twisting itself around the rod connected to the device and to an extension, you as well. It slated around the iron, like a wild tiger trapped in a cage. Squawking and fighting to free itself as it slid downwards. The moment it came in contact with the larger body of the machine, it roared, a deafening white noise that reverberated off the stone walls. It pierced Idia's ears, causing a thin line of blood to drool down the side of his head. The apparatus buzzed to life, bright lights filled the chamber and the wires attached to your corpse began to stir. 

The once still carcass began to jerk violently, its head and arms and feet shaking, twisting in inelegant gruesome movements. Its torso would lift from the table only to crash down once more, with a force that surely fractured a few bones. Amid the madness, the mouth of the monster began to open, popping the loose stitches around the edge of her lips. Its long tongue darted out like a snake. And though it was mostly hushed by the hissing of the loose electric bolts and the harsh rain that had started to pour outside. Idia swore he heard her whisper his name.

The fire-haired boy ran across the room, tumbling to the side of the metal table. His large arms wrapped around your tiny ones. His eyes bore into yours. Watching as your inconsistent eyes stared into his. Your face was soft and tender, painted in an innocence only worn by young children. You were his now, his perfect creation. Something began to build inside of him, a forgotten feeling. 

Contentment; this was contentment, something he hadn't felt for a long long time. 

What are gods if not humans who possess a secret no one else could obtain? With you by his side, in his arms, Idia could finally, finally triumph overall. He had made life, he had defied all else, surely now everyone could see he was superior to all else in this make-believe world. 

But the moment ended all too soon. Your eyes began to dull over, darkening with every blink until they shut permanently once more. The thumping of your borrowed heart began to slacken. Pounding slower and slower until it stilled. The patched up body came next, falling limp, dead again, floating back to the yonder of the grave. Out of his grasp, out of his life.

The world didn't stand still this time, instead, it scrambled forward at aching speed. No sooner had you taken your first breath had you taken your very last. You'd left without ever saying "hello".

Maybe in the midst of all the chaos, glorious altering chaos, he screamed, maybe he cried. Maybe it finally dawned on him why Dr. Frankenstein was merely a myth. A fable told to accursed children. Because Victor Frankenstein wasn't good or evil. He neither harbored joy nor malice. He wished only to be the best. And for so long Idia had wished the same. Searched for the same purpose in his meaningless life. 

What is a scientist if not a harbinger of grief and pain? 

Someone who devotes their life and loin, riddle and reason, in search of true purpose amongst the forces of the universe. What's a scientist if not a god in their own right. 

Had he been a god just now, Idia was left to ponder. For two glorious, astonishing, baffling moments Idia had been better than any god in existence. He had prevailed where every hero had failed. He had accomplished what villains went mad trying to achieve. He had been victorious.

Yes, Idia Shroud had fulfilled his dream. 

If only for a couple of inert moments. 

Gods were merely that, humans who had created something from the very soil they too were made of. 

And he too had done it. 

But alas in the end, maybe the legends and the myths had been true, credible good always won and evil did always vanish. Barring you had been so young, so new, you didn't even comprehend good or evil, you hadn't been alive long enough to understand what those two defining forces even were. The world didn't yet know if you were even good or evil. But it matters all so very little because you were his creation, his monstrosity, his, and Idia Shroud had always been and would always be evil, a villain in his own right. Just another gear in the predominant forces of the universe.

He'd been a fool to think he could defy the structured narrative this world had come to accept as law. 

Although, no narrative could ever change how much he had loved you, dead or alive. It wouldn't change how he had almost, almost, became Dr.Frankenstein. 

Although at the final page just before he closed the book. In the back of his mind, Idia was sure he had become the doomed doctor. 

For he too had both fallen in love with his creation and driven himself mad over it.  

[johnkrrasinski]

𝙞𝙣𝙫𝙞𝙨𝙞𝙗𝙡𝙚 𝙨𝙩𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜

Chapter 4: hell was the journey but it brought me heaven (final)

full masterlist // series masterlist // commission open // support my work

Pairings: bucky barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,943

Summary: blessed with telepathic abilities since birth, you were captured by HYDRA and turned into one of their weapons to kill. after the blip, you were pardoned by the government and you were obliged to check up with dr. raynor everyday which you had no clue would lead you to the one soul you’d been waiting for.

Warnings: SMUT!! (18+) dirty talk, oral (female receiving), fingering, shower sex, happy ending.

A/N: this series is dedicated to the lovely @ohmickeyhenry who commissioned this story and developed the concept. thank you for trusting me with your story. i sincerely hope you like it.

You sat on the front porch as your fingers flipped through the page of the romance novel you had your nose in. It was a beautiful day, the weather wasn’t too hot or too cold, perfect to spend hours escaping into a story outside. Alpine purred on the chair where Bucky would sit if he was here but he wasn’t because he was on an overseas mission with Sam and though you offered to come with him, Tony said that it would be best if you sat this one out. You didn’t take it personally, however, it was hard to be separated from him for nearly a month.

Bucky said he’d be coming home soon and though the mission kept delaying them to come home, Bucky called and texted you every day to let you know that he was alright and how far on completing the mission had they gone. You were glad that Sam and Bucky had each other while you weren’t around to take care of him because you knew that Sam was the only person who could ground him other than you.

You and Bucky had been together for nearly five months now, after your recovery in Wakanda and adjusting to the new life of being superheroes, you both decided that you wanted to settle in a more remote place. All of the Avengers had their own places outside of the compound so you thought, why don’t you get yours? You talked about getting your own place in Brooklyn but eventually, you came to a decision where somewhere in the country would be better for both of your mental beings, while also still residing in the New York area so that you’d be ready in case there are emergency missions.

Since moving to the countryside, you had felt much more at peace and you had learned more about yourself than before. You were in the middle of the process of moving in when Bucky was needed by Tony to take care of an international matter with Sam, so Tony helped call in some people to help you with your stuff.

The place you had with Bucky was lovely, it wasn’t anything big or swanky, it was simply a rural rustic home that blends woods and stones as the foundation. It had a large loft where you placed your bed, and the roof had upper windows which shed lights into the entire room. It was even more stunning at night where you could see the stars and the moon that illuminated the dark space. From the veranda, you could enjoy the beautiful view of greenery and the lake surrounding you. It was heaven, but most importantly, it was your and Bucky’s little heaven.

You’d often feel lonely living in the cabin, so you decided to adopt a cat while Bucky was away. You didn’t tell him because you wanted it to be a surprise. You named her Alpine. You’d always wanted to have a pet and now that you had your own place, you could have one without worrying it would bother anyone.

You talked to Bucky this morning and he estimated that he’d be coming home in two days, which means he’d be home by his birthday. You couldn’t think of a more perfect gift than this adorable, blue-eyed cat. It was as if she got them from her dad whom she had yet to meet. You also wanted to make his birthday and celebrate his coming home more special so you put down the book and went to the grocery store in town that afternoon to shop for the ingredients to bake a cake.

You had learned a lot of new things after you moved here, and baking was quickly becoming your hobby, so you were excited to utilize that new skill to surprise the love of your life. You spent the next day in the kitchen so once Bucky walked through the front door, the cake would be ready to be served. You were giddy thinking about the look on his face and how proud you would feel to make him happy with something you made of your own.

You were lying on your couch with Alpine by your feet, reading the book that you didn’t get to finish yesterday when you heard your phone notifying you a text had been received.

I’m outside, babydoll.

You instantly got up from your couch and put your book on the table. Your first thought this morning was Bucky would back to your arms this afternoon and you were ecstatic. You had missed him terribly and you wanted to curl up in his embrace and never let him go. He was your anchor and you were his rock, you both needed each other to get through the days. How you managed to survive so long without him was beyond you.

You chose a nice outfit, nothing fancy just a simple sundress that you feel your best in, put on some makeup and did your hair. Though you didn’t have a clue on makeup products, let alone apply them all over your face, you did spend a handful of times watching Youtube for guidance. You knew you didn't have to put all that effort to keep Bucky in love with you but you wanted to do something nice for him. For the first time in forever, you were a free woman who was allowed to make her own choices, you were going to revel in exploring them.

You opened the door and there he was, as handsome as the devil, as gentle as an angel. Everything about him captivated you yet, he soothed every nervous system in your body too. He was grinning at you like he had just won a prize and you couldn’t help but throw yourself at him as soon as the door was fully opened. “Bucky!”

He hugged you back, holding you so tightly to his chest and he kissed you as a lover would until you needed air. “You’re a sight for sore eyes,” he swept the hair that was falling on your face, slightly hiding your beauty.

You smiled at his flattery, “I got a surprise for you…”

“A surprise?” He looked genuinely perplexed. “What’s the occasion?”

“It’s your birthday, silly. And to celebrate you coming home, of course, because I missed you so badly.”

“Sweetheart, you don't need to get me anything, you’re all the blessing I need in my life.”

“And you are mine, but you deserve more. So, close your eyes.” You ordered him like you were an excited 10 years old ready to show off her science project to her parents. He did as he was told and you took his hand and led him to the kitchen where his cake was sitting perfectly. “Don’t open your eyes until I tell you!”

He chuckled, “okay.”

Bucky trusted you wholeheartedly so he didn’t worry he’d walk into a wall or slam his hips to the kitchen counter as he was being led down to where his cake was. “Okay, now open your eyes.” He did so and he saw you standing behind the tiny dining table, near the kitchen chanting Ta-Da! Presenting a chocolate birthday cake, in the shape of a heart in front of you.

You lit up the candles that were in the shape of 106 and you brought the cake closer to him, “happy birthday, my love.”

Bucky was grinning from ear to ear, he couldn’t contain the happiness swelling in his heart. While he was on his bike, driving from the compound to his cabin-like home, all he expected was a warm shower and being tangled between the sheets with you. Since he was turned into The Winter Soldier, he no longer cared about birthdays or his age. Time felt blurry and all that mattered was his purpose in his life which is to make amends to the wrongs he committed during his winter soldier days and the few people that he cared about.

But now you were in his life, you were going to make sure his birthdays are special and that every second you both spent together was precious. “I got another surprise for you…” You walked to the couch to carry Alpine and when Bucky saw her, his eyes lit up.

“You got us a cat?!” You handed her to Bucky gently like a newborn baby and Bucky cradled her to his chest, looking like an affectionate father.

“I did. I felt lonely while you were away so I thought I’d get a pet now that we’ve got our own place and I saw her at the shelter when I went to town and she looked so adorable, I just had to take her home, Buck,” you watched Bucky lovingly stroke the cat’s ear.

“I never had a pet before…”

“I know, and neither had I so I thought, the three of us would make a wonderful family.”

“Thank you, doll. This is… This is the best birthday gift I could ever ask for.”

“You’re welcome, love. By the way, her name’s Alpine.”

Bucky nodded, “suits her.”

“Now, as delicious as that cake looks, I really need to take a shower, would you mind joining me?” Bucky held out his hand for you.

“There’s nothing else I’d rather do,” Bucky took your hand and carried you in bridal style to your bathroom, which had rustic walls like the rest of the house and dark brown sink vanity with a mirror at the centre above.

Bucky put you down and you both began stripping out of your clothes. You helped Bucky with his once yours were on the hanger because you wanted to feel him, really feel him now. Once only his boxer remained, you slid the shower glass door and you pulled him, giggling like teenagers trying to sneak out in the middle of the night as he struggled to take off his boxer with the way you were pulling him.

You turned on the shower, just warm enough to soothe your nerves and help Bucky relax. Bucky cupped your face and you both began making out, the stream of water made it difficult to keep your eyes open but you always got so lost in his kisses that you could never keep your eyes open even if you wanted to. It felt like heaven to feel those lips again after a month of his absence.

Bucky lifted you and you wrapped your legs around his waist. He slammed you to the bathroom glass as he dominated your mouth, his tongue tangled with yours as his vibranium arm leaned against the glass. Bucky trailed kissed to the column of your neck and you threw your head back, giving him easier access. He bit the skin, marking you as his.

The water kept flowing down and you both forgot what you were there for in the first place. “Oh, missed you so fucking much, doll.”

“I missed you too,” you said as you panted.

“Those nude pictures you sent weren’t helping either. Each time I see you naked, it went straight to my cock. It was torture not to have you right away.” Bucky put you down and kissed your body, down to your stomach until he reached the part where you needed him most. Bucky lifted your right leg onto his shoulder and kissed the inside of your thigh as he left a love bite with his teeth there too.

You didn’t mind, you were his as much as he was yours and you loved it when he got a little rough or possessive, though you knew Bucky would never hurt you and if he did, you wouldn’t hesitate in telling him. But you loved to walk around with his marks on you, you wore them proudly.

Bucky dipped his head to your core, tasting your arousal like a famished man. He had been deprived of your taste for a month, he wasn’t going to hold back. He could spend hours in between your legs if you let him and he’d never get tired of it. Bucky licked a stripe of your slit, making you throw your head back again and moan.

He grabbed your arse to keep you standing, with the way he was devouring you, your thighs began to shake, and you would’ve crumbled to the floor if he wasn’t holding you. You tugged his hair, keeping his face close to your cunt. You couldn’t help but grind yourself onto his face and you could feel him smirking.

The way his stubble grazed your delicate skin was tantalizing, you’d tried to close your legs a few times around his head but he always held them back. You could feel your muscles tightening, but before you could burst, Bucky put your leg to the floor and he stood up, kissing you again and you could taste your arousal all over his tongue. It was erotic yet intimate at the same time.

Bucky grabbed your hips and spun you around, you could feel his stiff member nudging you from behind as you both fought for dominance with your tongues. Bucky took a fistful of your hair and lifted your head back, once again trailing open-mouthed kisses to your throat. His fingers made their way down to your clit, rubbing it in circles furiously as if you weren’t soaked enough already from the way his tongue ingurgitated you.

You whimpered at his touch, the way he always knew how to light up every cell in your body with his touch was a wonder. It was as if your body had given itself completely to him and it was going to comply with whatever his touch tells you to do. Like the way you willingly bared your soul to him, you didn’t fight it at all, let the love and passion you had for each other consume you.

“You’re dripping all over my hand, doll.”

“I need you to fuck me now, please.” You were losing your mind with the way he was stimulating you, you needed to have him inside you now.

“Anything for you, baby.”

Bucky used your wetness to lubricate his member, making it easier for him to slide in. You leaned against the glass with your hands against it as he gripped your hip with his flesh hand and your shoulder with his vibranium one. Bucky pushed himself until he was fully sheathed and he groaned, “oh fuck, I ain’t gonna last long. Missed this tight cunt so much.”

Bucky gave you a few seconds to adjust to his size, and once you told him to move, he began with slow paces. You threw your head back and leaned against his shoulder as he kept thrusting in and out of you at a faster speed. Bucky moved his vibranium arm to your hip and wrapped his flesh hand around your jaw, directing it to his face so he could kiss you deeply.

The sounds of your skin slapping were salacious. Bucky felt you clenched around him and the coil in your stomach tightened. His fingers that were gripping your waist once again furiously rubbed your clit, igniting the fire in your muscles. Your cries grew louder as his rhythm began to falter, and the dam in you broke, your squirts streamed down your thighs, clouding your brain with pleasure.

Bucky started to get messy as he chased his own orgasm. He followed you to the place of euphoria, releasing himself deep inside you, panting your walls with hot white gush. Bucky leaned his forehead against the glass as he breathed heavily with his heart thumping against his chest. His weight on your back was comforting so you stayed there for a while until you both began to come down from your highs.

Bucky pulled out of you and his orgasm ran down your thighs, following yours. You turned around to face him and kiss him again. “That was fucking amazing,” Bucky said as he cleaned you up.

“I should be the one doing that, I wasn’t the one who just came home from a one month mission,” you retorted as you watched him going down to scrub your thighs where your juices were sticking on your skin.

“Well, now that I’m here, let me take care of my girl, will ya?”

You only chuckled and eventually, you both helped rinsed each other off. Once the shower was done, Bucky dried you with a towel and carried you to your bed, which he had yet to sleep on since it got here.

Life was a funny thing. Sometimes it dragged you down to hell, making you question if you had ever committed such a heinous crime in your previous life that cost you such misery in your present. But then, slowly but surely, the journey that you had to endure, led you to your fate, for better or for worse.

You couldn’t change where you had been and what you had done, but you could choose how you were going to redeem yourself and how you were going to spend the remaining years of your life now. You didn’t know much about your future as an Avenger. Hell, you were barely an Avenger, to begin with, but eventually, when you were ready, you knew there’d be nothing too big to overcome because you had Bucky by your side to walk through the storm with.

You didn’t have the privilege to believe in mystical things such as lucky stars but you were going to thank whatever was out there for the invisible string that tied you to Bucky.

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