#tbh as long as we keep in mind that these are in fact real people who have real life romantic partners who aren’t other drivers then it’s o

[superstar49]

What are your thoughts on f1 ships like Lestappen, and the shippers themselves (Lestappies)?

honestly i just think it’s a bit of good fun. obviously they’re real people with real spouses and partners, but it’s not hurting anybody. i think it’s a little suspicious that the social admins are starting to use the ship names and that could potentially lead to some controversy surrounding shipping culture and the chronically online side of f1, but for now i think it’s fine. pierre gasly has said he is aware of and even reads fanfiction of himself, and enjoys it, so there’s one person for team “rpf is fine” i suppose. as far as shippers themselves go, it’s nothing new. just teenage girl culture. i do think it’s interesting to see how different types of people gravitate toward different ships. there’s a lot of layers to shipping and fandom culture and how it changes a fandom, but it’s been a part of f1 for years, and i think the only reason it’s becoming so prevalent these days is because of the role the media and the fans play in the sport itself.

send me your f1 hot takes!

[f1byjessie]

IN FAIR VERONA ━━ CL16.

things are hard when you're the only female in a male-dominated space, and the newest driver for the newest team knows this best.

( charles leclerc x driver!schumacher!reader )

━━ part one.

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yourusername feeling blue?

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user i am gnawing at the bars of my enclosure right now 

user MOTHER IS MOTHERING SO HARD RN 😩

user y/n schumacher never misses

↳ user let’s be real here user the entire schumacher family never misses

↳ user y’all have seen mick’s most recent post too right??

user she is so gorgeous i am ILL

user god really does have his favorites huh 😭😭

↳ user this is undeniable proof

↳ user people this beautiful don’t actually exist i refuse to believe it

user every day i wake up and cry that i will never be as stunning and skilled as her

user formula 2 silly season has me losing my damn mind i swear 😫 i might as well be wearing a tin foil hat with the number of theories i’m following and the consistent blue themed posts y/n keeps dropping are NOT HELPING

↳ user not to add to your conspiracy madness, but it’s already confirmed that fred vesti is replacing jehan daruvala who’s moving to mp motorsport, and there are rumors that oliver bearman is also getting a prema seat which could mean that y/n schumacher is going to another team as well or leaving f2 entirely

↳ user a good chunk of the other teams have already revealed their driver lineup and none of them include schumacher, which doesn’t leave a lot of options IF the rumours are true

↳ user i can’t see her just leaving motorsports entirely considering she’s worked so hard to get where she is 🤔 which calls into question whether she’s moving to a different racing series

↳ user i really can’t see schumacher leaving tbh, especially since she’s been in f2 since 2017 and has established herself as a prema legend basically

↳ user the fact that she has been at prema for so long (and has gotten p2 in the f2 championship nearly every year since 2017) could also be proof that she’s moving on to bigger and better things

↳ user wait she’s been there HOW LONG??? since 2017??? as in she drove with charles leclerc, her brother mick, AND oscar piastri??? 🤯🤯🤯

↳ user she’s had a very long and successful career there, but it wouldn’t surprise me if she decided to retire from formula racing and move onto some other series that’s more woman-friendly, all things considered 🤷‍♀️. she has been runner-up every year that she’s competed, proven that she has what it takes to make it in a higher level of formula racing, and yet not a single f1 team has even offered her the opportunity to be even a test or reserve driver? 🤨 something isn’t adding up and i don’t want to say it’s because she’s a girl in motorsports but it’s kind of hard to ignore the proof when it’s put right in front of you.

↳ user guys the keyword is “if” here, of course, bc as fun as it is to speculate it is all still speculation and we won’t know for certain until it’s revealed by official sources. silly season is called that for a reason, and for all we known y/n is drawing out the announcement of her continued partnership with prema to stir up interest. she’s been in a very loyal and secure partnership with them for years now, a partnership that both she and prema seem very happy to keep considering just how long it’s lasted.

↳ user f2 is another series that once you win the championship you are no longer allowed to compete in, so prema may have kept her around to help carry her male teammates into first place until females are more accepted in formula racing so that she could eventually move up to f1

↳ user prema’s gonna announce her as their driver with vesti and you all are gonna look so fucking dumb for this 🙄🙄

user blue is HER color now 😍

maseratimsg 💙

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yourusername to the women of f1 that came before me, who paved the way, this is for you.

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maseratimsg When you race, they race with you 💙.

↳ yourusername 🫶💙

user Y/N SCHUMACHER??? IN FORMULA ONE??? IN 2023???

user i’ve been following her career for years now and this makes me so excited omg

↳ user me too!! she’ll be the first female to drive in f1 in over 30 years 🤭

user HARD LAUNCH BUT FOR THE 2023 GRID I GUESS

user when maserati announced they’d be getting back into formula racing i had no idea that also meant formula one as well?? they’ve got drivers in the 22-23 formula e season right now but this is how i found out about y/n schumacher driving for the 23 formula 1 season? i think i am going into shock

user 2023 might actually be a good year if this is how we’re gonna be going into it

user WOMEN IN MOTORSPORTS

user milf = man i love females-in-fast-cars

user been watching f1 since i was a kid, always wondered why there were no girls out there driving. this year i’ll get to turn on that tv and finally see someone who looks like me

↳ user it’s so fitting that maserati’s original f1 team also had the first woman f1 driver, and now they’ll be breaking barriers again by having another woman f1 driver in their first season back

↳ user i’m hoping they’ve got a good car ready cuz i wanna see y/n schumacher up on that podium telling everyone who didn’t believe she could do it just cuz she was a girl to eat shit and die 😤😤😤

user there’s a reason there aren’t any female drivers in f1. she’s doomed to fail just like all the others smh 🙄

↳ user the biggest reason is sexism, and y/n has consistently proved throughout her career that she is just as skilled if not more than her male counterparts. she works harder to make up for the physical disadvantages she has as a woman, and she still wipes the floor with the other drivers. she’s not “doomed to fail” she’s practically destined to succeed.

↳ user y/n has trained her ass off to be the best, and she’ll prove it when she gets out on the tarmac in bahrain, just you wait 🥱

↳ user she’s literally a 6-time f2 runner up??? sure, she didn’t win, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t still incredibly fucking impressive that she’s managed to get p2 against her male counterparts 6 YEARS IN A ROW 👀👀 her brother got p12 his first season and you know what she got? p2. she’s already raced with the likes of charles leclerc, zhou guanyu, yuki tsunoda, alex albon, george russell, lando norris, and a number of other very prominent formula racing names, and she held her own against them all incredibly well. she gave her own brother a real run for his money when they were teammates in 2019 and 2020, and in 2021 she was only a 9 point difference away from oscar piastri, whereas the p3 finalist was nearly a full 60 points below both of them. get out of here with that “there’s a reason there aren’t any female drivers in f1” bullshit, because the reason is misogyny 😒🙄

user not to be that person but like??? who else is lowkey excited for potential driver x driver romance?? 🫣

↳ user nah cuz i didn’t wanna make this about that but i’m actually totally ready to see who she has the best chemistry with on the grid 🫢 first hope is charles leclerc cuz they’d be a power couple hands down but also mayhaps max verstappen?? maybe??

↳ user totally agree babes a ferrari and maserati romeo and juliet love story would destroy me 😩

↳ user the parallels are already paralleling

↳ user to add to the parallels, her and charles were teammates at prema in 2017

↳ user OMG RIVALS TO STAR CROSSED LOVERS??? 😭😭

↳ user schumacher and leclerc are about to live out THE fanfic dream i can see it now

user can’t wait to see her mop the floor with these boys next year

user 2023 IS GONNA BE CRAZY 💙💙

user if i see any of those lads talk down about her or dismiss her just because she’s a woman, it’s on fucking sight 💀

↳ user they did that campaign in 2021 about equality in racing and i am BEGGING that it wasn’t just a media ploy and that they actually believe what they said about men AND women being able to drive

user this is about to be the best f1 season in history folks

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maseratimsg Prepare for trouble, and make it double ✌️💙.

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user SCHUMACHER TWINS TEAMMATES AGAIN???

user someone pinch me i think i’m in a dream 😳

↳ user i pinched myself and this is in fact very real

user we knew y/n would be driving for maserati but to also have MICK? maserati picked not one but TWO legacy drivers they have an agenda to push and they are certainly pushing it

↳ user yeah, an agenda to win 😌

↳ user genuinely just imagine how much natural talent and skill will be in that garage come the start of the season with michael schumacher’s twins…

↳ user back in 2020 when they raced together at prema, i saw someone joke that they were made into twins because no singular human being would be able to handle having that much racing prowess, so they were split up. but idk how much of it was actually a joke because they were scarily good as teammates? y/n has always finished no more than 10 points behind p1, and mick is a very powerful driver in his own right. putting them together and letting them drive as allies again instead of rivals will be a sight that’s for sure.

↳ user imagine being nerfed at birth cuz fate knew you’d be too powerful otherwise ��😂😂

user blue is THEIR color apparently

user it’s the schumachers’ world and we’re just living in it

↳ user schumachers vs the entire f1 grid sounds like an insane clickbait article but the fact that it’ll be real in a few months is crazy

user everyone’s talking about y/n and mick but i’m stuck on the fact that there will finally be 11 teams driving for f1 again

↳ user maserati really said fuck the expectations

↳ user maserati’s gonna get a 1-2 with the schumachers in their first year back i’m calling it now 🤪🤪

↳ user first female driver in f1 in 30 years and first 11th team to drive in f1 since 2016, and i’m betting it’ll be first ever female driver to podium in f1 and first ever female driver to win in f1 too because i’ve seen y/n schumacher’s skill and i guarantee that if she’s actually given the ability to go all out then she’s gonna be a force to be reckoned with

user hope they’ve got a good car planned cuz i wanna see these two put up a good fight

user verstappen better watch his back 👀

user Y/N SCHUMACHER WDC 2023

user at least mick got to drive with seb still on the grid, but i’m actually heartbroken that y/n won’t be able to 😔

↳ user and kimi too

↳ user i think the only drivers left are hamilton and alonso no? from before their dad retired i mean

↳ user perez, hulkenberg, and ricciardo too, but they only drove on the same grid as michael schumacher for a couple years

↳ user i imagine it would suck to lose but i personally would be very proud to see my old friend’s kids standing on a podium above me or beside me 🥹

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mickschumacher from beating you into this world, to beating you in karting (both professionally and casually), i'm so proud to have the chance to beat you in formula 1 too

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yourusername those are fighting words micky 🤨

↳ mickschumacher not sure what you mean 😊

↳ yourusername it’s on sight 👊

user GUYSSS JUST THINK ABOUT THE PADDOCK INTERACTIONS BETWEEN THESE TWO

↳ user the media days boutta be crazyyyy

↳ user i’m imagining the chaos of not just having siblings on the grid together, but twins specifically, and i’m already getting a migraine on behalf of whoever their pr officers are 😅😭

↳ user 2023 is the year they make a geneva convention for the grid prank wars and it’s gonna be the because of the schumachers

user baby photos oh i am unwell 🙃

↳ user i’ve caught a nasty case of baby fever i fear

↳ user they’re both menaces as adults, i wonder how bad they were as little kids

↳ user baby fever cured methinks 😶

user 💙💙💙 MICK P1 2023 💙💙💙

user mick being proud to race with his sister but also making it well known that he isn’t gonna take it easy on her is the type of sibling rivalry content i’m looking forward to seeing this season

↳ user i need all the drivers to have this same mentality bc i know mick is gonna recognize her as the threat that she is, but if any of those lads underestimate her just bc she’s a girl, then their karma will come in the form of eating the dust of y/n schumacher’s car

↳ user PREACH 🙌🙏

charlesleclerc cannot wait to have you both on track this year

━━ tags: @maih23 @urfavnoirette @casperlikej

━━ a/n: first and foremost, happy international women's day! i've had this sitting around for a little while now and decided that today would be the perfect day to finally share it, what with the themes of women empowerment and breaking the glass ceiling. my main priority will still be my lando series until i can get that finished, but updates for this might appear in between on occasion. i also wanna take a moment just to appreciate the sheer amount of research that went into this, finding a team that would reasonably work well as an 11th team for formula 1 was a bit difficult, but i'm not gonna look a gift horse in the mouth when maserati fits pretty perfectly. also, as a twin myself, i'm incapable of writing a sibling duo that aren't also twins, and i have zero shame about that. anyways, i'm very excited for this, and i hope everyone else is as well!

[applestorms]

@jessaerys ok shit this took a while but WHATEVER. wammy's lore collection here we go :3c less analysis this time, this is mostly just to archive the main known details we have in canon about the house, and also the people from there more generally. however much you wanna accept all this/take it at face value is up to You, Dear Reader (and tbh y'all should just read all these if ur curious since they're all pretty short + have Interesting narrators. i'll include links to free versions). do whatever you want forever etc. etc. also, SPOILERS. obviously.

LABB: (listen here)

no this book isn't written by ohba. yes i'm including it. shush. anyways, most of the lore in this comes from mello's vague comments about beyond's backstory, but there's a Lot of interesting things established in this, so. here's a bunch of notable quotes. if you're not already familiar, please keep in mind that the narrator of this novel is mello, writing at some point shortly before his death.

"L. The century's greatest detective. In light of his staggering mental abilities, L died an unjust and untimely death. In the public record alone he solved over 3,500 difficult crimes, and sent three times that number of degenerates to prison. He wielded incredible power, was able to mobilize every investigative bureau in the entire world, and was applauded generously for his efforts. And during it all, he never showed his face." (pg. 10)

"So, what you're reading now are my notes about L. It's a dying message, not from me, and not directed at the world. The person who will most likely read this first will probably be that big-headed twit Near. But if that's the case, I will not tell him to shred or burn these pages. If it causes him pain to discover that I knew things about L that he did not, then that's fine." (pg. 10-11)

"I am one of the few people who ever met L as L. When and how I met him...this is the single most valuable memory I have, and I will not write it here, but on that occasion L related to me three stories of his exploits, and the episode involving Beyond Birthday was one of these." (pg. 11)

"Obviously, it never came to light that L--and more importantly, Wammy's House, which raised me until I was fifteen--was deeply connected to the matter, but in fact, they were. L, on principle, never got involved in a case unless there were more than ten victims or a million dollars at stake, and this is the real reason why he belatedly, but aggressively, involved himself in this little case, which only ever had three or four victims. I will explain further in the pages that follow, but for this reason, the case of the Los Angeles BB murders is a watershed event for L, for me, and even for Kira. It was a monumental event for all of us. Why? Because this is the case where L first introduced himself as Ryuzaki." (pg. 11)

"For any one else but those two [Near and Kira], my identity may be of no interest, but I am the old world's runner-up, the best dresser that died like a dog, Mihael Keehl. I once called myself Mello and was addressed by that name, but that was a long time ago. Good memories and nightmares." (pg. 12)

"She [Naomi Misora] briefly considered the idea that Raye Penber, or someone else, was playing a practical joke on her, but she found it hard to believe that anyone would be so bold to sign their name as such. L never revealed himself in public or in private, but Misora had heard several horror stories about what happened to detectives who tried passing themselves off as L. It was safe to say that no one would dare use his name, even in jest." (pg. 18)

"This was L, so he was undoubtedly solving several other difficult cases all at once. Cases all over the world. For him, this case was just one of many parallel investigations. How else could he maintain his reputation as the world's greatest detective? The century's greatest detective, L. The detective with no clients." (pg. 35)

"L had earned a certain degree of hostility from other detectives, and the jealous ones called him a hermit detective, or a computer detective, but neither of these is a particularly accurate representation of the truth. Naomi Misora had also tended to think of L as an armchair detective, but in fact, L was quite the opposite, a very active, aggressive individual. [swoon.] While he had absolutely no interest in social connections, he was certainly not the kind of detective to shut himself up in a dark room with the shades drawn and refuse to come out. It is now common knowledge that the three great post war detectives, L, Eraldo Coil and Danuve were all actually the same person. Certainly, anyone reading these notes is almost certain to know...though they may not know that L engaged in a war with the real Eraldo Coil, and the real Danuve, and emerged victorious, claiming their detective codes. The details of this detective war I will save for another occasion, but in addition to those three names, L possessed many other detective codes. I have no idea how many, but there were at least three digits' worth. And quite a number of those were fairly public detectives--just like, as anyone reading these notes must know, he appeared before Kira, calling himself Ryuzaki or Ryuga Hideki. Of course, Naomi Misora had no way of knowing this, but in my opinion, the name L was, for him, just one of many. He never had any direct connection to that identity, he never thought of himself as L--it was just the most famous and most powerful of the many detective codes he used during his life. The name had its uses, but lacked obscurity. L had a real name that nobody knew, and nobody will ever know, but a name which only he knew never defined him. I sometimes wonder if L himself ever knew exactly which name was written in the Death Note, which name it was that killed him. I wonder." (pg. 43-44)

"If we must discuss why L so adamantly refused to reveal himself, we can explain it very simply: doing so was dangerous. Very dangerous. While the world leaders should make efforts to ensure the safety of all the finest minds, not only for detectives, the fact is that the current societal systems do not allow for this, and L believed he had no choice but to protect his mind under his own power. By simple arithmetic, L's ability in 2002 was the equivalent of five ordinary investigative bureaus, and seven intelligence agencies (and by the time he faced off against Kira, those numbers had leapt upward several more notches). This is easy to think of as a reason to respect and admire someone, but let me say this as clearly as possible: that much ability in one human is extremely dangerous. Modern danger management techniques rely heavily on defusing risk, but his very existence was the exact opposite. In other words, if someone was planning to commit a crime, they would greatly increase their chances of getting away with it by simply killing L before they began. That was why L hid his identity. Not because he was shy, or because he never left the house. To ensure his own safety. For a detective of L's ability, self-preservation and the preservation of world peace were one and the same, and it would not be correct to describe his actions as cowardly or self-centered." (pg. 69 nice)

"So whenever L was working, he would usually have someone else as his public face--and in this particular case, the FBI agent Naomi Misora was filling that role." (pg. 70)

"Beyond Birthday had the eyes of a shinigami congenitally. It was not particularly difficult for him to track down people with the initials B.B. or find people who were fated to die on a certain day at a certain time." (pg. 94)

"Normally contact with a shinigami was a prerequisite for acquisition, but Beyond Birthday had traded nothing--he had seen through those eyes since before he could remember. He knew your name before you said it. He knew the time of death of every person he met." (pg. 94)

"You might think [the eyes] would hardly be useful without a Death Note, but that is simply not the case. The ability to see someone's remaining life is the ability to see death. Death, death, death. Beyond Birthday lived his life unceasingly reminded that all humans would eventually die. From the time he was born he knew the day his father would be attacked by a thug and die, knew the day his mother would die in a train crash. He had these eyes before he was born, which is why he called himself Beyond Birthday. Which is why a child as strange as he was taken in by our home, sweet home--Wammy's House. He was B. The second child in Wammy's House." (pg. 94-95)

"The competition between L and B. L and B's puzzle. 'If L's a genius, then B's an extreme genius. If L's a freak, then B's an extreme freak. Now it's time to get ready. There are things I must do before B can surpass L. Henh henh henh henh.' This thought was the only thing that made him laugh without needing to think about it. And those that know will recognize the laugh of the shinigami. Still grinning to himself, he faced the mirror, brushed his hair, and began applying his makeup. The reflection of himself in the mirror. Himself. As always, he could not see his own time of death. No more than he could see the death of the world." (pg. 96)

"We were raised at Wammy's House in England, in Winchester, as L's successors, as L's alternatives, but that does not mean we knew anything more about L than anyone else. Including myself, only a few of us ever met L as L, and even I knew nothing about L before he met Watari--Quillish Wammy, the genius inventor who founded Wammy's House. Nobody knows what's going on in L's head. But even so, I know how Watari felt. Looking at L's incredible talents from the perspective of an inventor--of course he wanted to make a copy, of course he wanted to create a backup. Anyone would feel the same. As I have already explained, L never appeared in public. L knew that his own death would increase the crime rate all over the world by a few dozen percentage points. But what if they could copy him? What if they could make a backup? That was us. L's children, gathered from all corners of the world.

"But even for a genius like Watari, creating a fake L was easier said than done. Even for Near and I, who were said to be the closest to L...the more we tried to be like him, the closer we got, the father away he was, like chasing a mirage. So I hardly need to tell you what it was like when Wammy's House was first founded, when he was still experimenting. The first child, A, was unable to handle the pressure of living up to L and took his own life, and the second child, Beyond Birthday, was brilliant and deviant. B stood for Backup.

"But B tried to surpass L, not become him...no, that might not be right. I have no way of knowing the inner workings of his mind. He...their generation was not like the fourth generation, with Near and I, all the children bound only to the code with the serial L. They were prototypes, never even given the L code, expected to fail. I prefer to refrain from idle speculation based on my own experiences, but, well, Beyond Birthday may have thought something like this: As long as there was L, B would never be L. As long as the original existed, the copy was always a copy." (pg. 104-105)

"The Los Angeles BB Murder Cases. L.A.B.B.--L is After Beyond Birthday. This reading is why I think this name is so much closer to the killer's intentions than the Wara Ningyo Murders, or the Los Angeles Serial Locked Room Killings. I wasn't talking about the names on a purely stylistic basis. Whether Beyond Birthday had put that much thought into it I have no idea, but if he had a specific reason for choosing to commit his murders in L.A., then that is probably why. I am sure he had a much more personal obsession with L as an individual than Near or I ever did. I can understand why someone would become a criminal in order to fight against a detective, which is why I can write something like this, but even so. What did he hope to accomplish by killing unrelated people? Or perhaps B simply wanted to meet L. Then he could use the eyes of the shinigami he'd been born with and see L's real name, see when L would die. He would be able to figure out who L was. Beyond Birthday had never told anyone that he had the eyes of a shinigami, and it would not surprise me at all if he believed himself to be some kind of shinigami." (pg. 105-106)

"Beyond Birthday challenged L. And L accepted the challenge. To put it bluntly, the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases were nothing but an internal struggle, a civil war within our home, sweet home-- Wammy's House. Unfortunate for the victims that got mixed up in it, but even if Beyond Birthday had not killed them, all those victims were fated to die that day, at that time, for some other reason, so logically and morally, their deaths were unavoidable. So in the strictest sense of the word, the only one who really got mixed up in their war was Naomi Misora." (pg. 106)

"L was said to never move on a case unless there were more than ten victims or a million dollars at stake. The only exceptions to this were cases at difficulty level L (extremely fitting), or when L had personal reasons compelling him to get involved. The Los Angeles BB Murders were both of these. I hardly need to point out the difficulty by this stage of the story, and L was essentially fighting his own dead copy. [harsh, dude.] The current head of Wammy's House had told Quillish Wammy/Watari, who had told L about B's disappearance in May, and ever since L had been looking for him even as he solved other cases. Wammy's House only knew him as B--they did not know his real name, Beyond Birthday, so this search was near impossible, but L knew who the killer was. He had not been looking for a killer so much as he was looking for a case. L had been waiting, expecting Beyond Birthday to do something to challenge him. L could move any policeman in the world, but in this case, he could not ask anyone for help except Naomi Misora...more than likely, for this reason. I don't think L really put that much stock in honor, but everyone is embarrassed by their own sins, and nobody wants those missteps to become public knowledge. L was the goal of everyone in Wammy's House. Every one of us wanted to surpass him. To step over him. To step on him. M did, N did, and B did. M as a challenger, N as a successor. B as a criminal." (pg. 116-117)

"No matter what she did, she had no way of knowing. That this killer, Beyond Birthday, could tell someone's name and time of death just by looking at their face, that he had been born with the eyes of a shinigami--she had no way of knowing that fake names were useless with him, completely and utterly pointless. How could she have known? Even Beyond Birthday himself could not explain how he had been born with the eyes of the shinigami, how he could use them with no payment, with no arrangement. Neither Misora nor L knew why, and, obviously, neither do I. The closest thing to an explanation I can offer is that there are shinigami stupid enough to drop their notebooks in our world, so there might well be shinigami stupid enough to drop their eyes." (pg. 193-140)

"'So, Naomi Misora...' said L, wrapping up. But Misora hastily stammered, 'Um, er, L...' but then she hesitated, not sure if she should ask this or not. 'You...know the killer, right?' 'Yes, as I said. He is B.' 'I don't mean like that...I mean, he's someone you know personally?' On the 16th, L had said that he had known the killer was B, and she had sort of known ever since, but two days before, L had said something that changed her guess to conviction. Whatever you do, please catch the killer. The century's greatest detective, L, would never say that about some ordinary indiscriminate serial killer. And the way his letter was just one letter long... 'Yes,' the synthetic voice agreed." (pg. 144-145)

"'I have nothing to do with him,' L said. 'To be completely accurate, I do not even know B. He is simply someone I am aware of. But none of this affects my judgement. Certainly, I was interested in this case, and began to investigate it because I knew who the killer was. But that did not alter the way I investigated it, or the manner in which my investigation proceeded. Naomi Misora, I cannot overlook evil. I cannot forgive it. It does not matter if I know the person who commits evil or not. I am only interested in justice.'" (pg. 145)

"My great and respected predecessor, the man whose actions were a strong influence on me personally, B, B.B., Beyond Birthday--obviously, I need hardly explain again that the murders themselves were not his purpose. So what was he doing? Again, I hardly need to explain--he was challenging the man he copied, the century's greatest detective L. A matter of winning or losing. A contest." (pg. 159)

"Since L could solve every case no matter how challenging, if he created a case so difficult that L as unable to solve it, B would have defeated L." (pg. 159)

"He knew that the moment he took action Wammy's House and Watari would alert L, so he did not even bother trying to stop them. He could only guess at which stage of his plan L would start to come after him, so he prepared things carefully, ready for L's entrance at any point." (pg. 159)

"B approached Naomi Misora, calling himself Rue Ryuzaki. Rue Ryuzaki--L.L. For anyone from Wammy's House, there could be no higher goal than identifying yourself with that letter--and Beyond Birthday seized this case as his chance. even Naomi Misora knew what had happened to detectives falsely identifying themselves as L, and B was from Wammy's House, so he knew this better than anyone--so this choice suggests the strength of his decision. He never once intended to survive--had had made up his mind. He was ready." (pg. 160) [trans. note: the name "Rue" in Japanese, ルエ (ru-e), is an anagram of エル (e-ru), which is how L is pronounced.]

"Naturally, his face and fingerprints would burn as well--he had always disguised himself with heavy makeup while he was with Misora, and he never left a picture behind, so even if someone directly affiliated with Wammy's House inspected the body, they would have no idea that Rue Ryuzaki/Beyond Birthday was B from Wammy's House. He had left nothing to connect Beyond Birthday to B." (pg. 162)

"B was presenting the Los Angeles BB Murder Cases to L as a case that could never be solved. That L could never solve. In other words, he had never prepared any clear solution to it--since the killer had committed suicide, disguised as the fourth victim, there was no longer a killer to catch, and no clues left to catch him with." (pg. 163)

"My poor, poor predecessor. Not only was he utterly and completely defeated, but he survived, driving home his embarrassment...he must have longed for death. Accept my condolences, B." (pg. 169-170)

"If I had space left over I had intended to carry right on into the other two stories I heard from L: the story of the detective war between the three greatest detectives, all solving that infamous bio-terror case, with guest appearances by the last of the alphabet, the first X to the first Z from Wammy's House; and the story of how the world's greatest inventor, Quillish Wammy, aka Watari, had first met L, then about eight year's old--the case that gave birth to the century's greatest detective, the Winchester Mad Bombings that occurred just after the third World War. But however objectively I look at things, I do not have the space or the time. Oh well." (pg. 170)

"She had spoken to L only once after the killer was arrested. He thanked her for helping to solve the case, and told her just a little about the background of the case. That B had been a candidate to succeed L, and that the pressure of that had driven him off track." (pg. 171)

"And a few years after his arrest, on January 21st, 2004, serving a life sentence in a California prison, Beyond Birthday died of a mysterious heart attack." (pg. 173)

C-KIRA: (read here)

near grief :pensive: pretty sure this was animated in the anime movie thing?? tbh i still need to watch that. Very interesting as some of the most recent post-main story lore we get about wammy's imo. less quotes now + more summarizing since these are just comics

near has apparently only "talked" to L once (in quotes since he didn't actually say anything, just sat in the back of the room doing a puzzle the entire time. real asf girl)

during this "conversation," roger or one of the orphanage heads set up the usual L screen + a camera/mic so that L could see all the kids and answer their questions.

notably, mello & near didn't ask any questions, just lurked in the back watching L with a "nasty look in [their] eyes," which near assumes is what made him pick them to be his top successors, considering the fact that he didn't actually look at any of their data. (somewhat seems to imply that L didn't actually give a shit about grades or anything like that when picking his main successors?)

while answering questions, near is caught off guard by one of L's answers. to transcribe it all directly here--

NEAR (NARRATING): At the time, I didn't think L would put it so bluntly. L: It's not a sense of justice. L: Figuring out difficult cases is my hobby. If you measured good and evil deeds by current laws, I would be responsible for many crimes. L: The same way you all like to solve mysteries and riddles, or clear video games more quickly... For me too, its simply prolonging something I enjoy doing. L: That's why I only take on cases that pique my interest. It's not justice at all. And if it means being able to clear a case, I don't play fair, I'm a dishonest, cheating human being, who hates losing...

not quite the monster speech, but fascinating all the same. near seems to imply that this answer sent some kids into a despair spiral, but it actually caused him to like L more and more, feeling that he was, "exactly the kind of person who wanted to achieve his own goals." kinda goes against the HTR13 ohba comment? shrug

The Wammy's House/L's One Day: (read here)

honestly i interpret these comics as like. canon crack fic. but anyways, here's the established L lore included in these two.

L was taken into wammy's as a nameless orphan at an unknown but likely quite young age

very soon after arriving he beats up all the other kids he meets--

he is "utterly incompatible," with all the other kids and monopolizes all the things he likes simply cause he's stronger than them and presumably could fight them for it-- naturally, he ends up usually just playing by himself

notably, this all establishes that L isn't the first kid at wammy's, that there was already at least one generation of older kids living there before he got there (and could eventually turn it into an L successor creating machine)

once watari realizes that L has some outstanding mental abilities, he gives him his own private room and a computer. afterwards, L spends most of his time sitting in front of the puter by himself

L requests that watari buy 1 million pounds with Japanese yen and tells him which stocks to buy, causing his assets to reach "almost 20,000 times the original amount," in two years. visually this is depicted as happening when L is still quite young

several years later, L stumbles across a serial murder case in the news, which is the first he solves, starting his new career path

-

L can stay awake for 100+ hours and then gets over it by sleeping for like 17 hours. pictures also may imply that he doesn't actually sleep in a bed, but just lies down sideways in his chair. RIP yotsuba light's perfectly designed sleep schedule

L also shits/pisses in the same position he usually sits in (frog-pose), facing the tank south park style

he is a big fan of cleanliness!! human washing machine etc. etc. honestly i think this is just another way for him to hold that same crouched position

text says he always has, "ten or so identical sets of clothes prepared for him," since he's picky about it, but the art itself shows way more than ten. also rare shirtless L moment?? (watari helps)

L does in fact go outside!! he likes roller coasters/theme parks, swinging, art galleries, live music, etc. though most of the time he just sits in his room thinking thru shit n solving cases.

[bethanydelleman]

this is a very particular question indeed but I'd love to hear your take on it. if you could adapt all of the austen novels (even lady susan etc) in a modern day setting movie/book, what would you do? how would the characters, dynamics etc? would anne & wenworth still be separated by social status? would emma fall in love with a female knightley? what about lydia? & the whole fanny & edmund thing? I don't mind a long answer, in fact the longer it is, the better it is, i am in love with your austen posts and you haven't been wrong one single time. there's no other blog I'd rather ask about it tbh.

Okay, so, I'm not really a modernizer and this is a very long question. Here we go!

Two general posts about careers that would work for the men and women.

Northanger Abbey:

I wrote this. I think it's the easiest to modernize because Catherine just becomes a modern Twilight girlie or a Brontë fan and the Tilneys can totally still have a cool heritage house.

Emma:

Almost perfectly modernized by the movie Clueless, I wouldn't attempt to do it better. My queer take, which works modern or Regency era.

Pride & Prejudice:

Almost perfectly modernized by the movie Bride & Prejudice. This one hinges so much on class differences and a woman's need to marry that I think it's really hard to do a modern, Western context. However, it would make an excellent Korean drama because of remaining social stratification in that country.

Lizzie Bennet Diaries was fun, but I don't think it worked as well. Fire Island was not for me, but I think it was a pretty good modern take too.

Persuasion:

I wrote a post about this. Probably more than one but that's all I can find right now. Anyway, I think the basic premise can still work even if Anne can get a job, because there are good reasons to reject a penniless guy at 19 even today. Making Anne & Wentworth some flavour of queer can be a good angle too. But the story is essentially about yearning and forgiveness, that is something we still have.

Sense & Sensibility:

Willoughby's sin works in modern times, the real problem is Edward's unbreakable engagement. Having Lucy baby trap Edward (but it's his brother's baby maybe?) would be an option, but then again, hard to explain why Edward has to keep the marriage/engagement a secret. This one is really hard and I don't have a solution.

Mansfield Park:

I just posted about this. But it's strange, people say this one doesn't work as a modern but it totally does. Henry Crawford & Maria's affair is still totally unacceptable today, cheating is a thing most people hate, in fact. You need to eliminate the cousin thing for modern sensibilities and maybe take Fanny out of the house (she's a friend or an employee), but it can work. From Mansfield With Love was okay but I think it can be done better. The play can still be done, but I would choose one that is more well-known, like Romeo and Juliet.

If anyone has better or more ideas, please share! Especially for S&S.

Lady Susan:

I think this one might translate the best after Northanger Abbey, she's a basic Gaslight Girlboss Goddigger. Reginald would be just as aghast that she's sleeping with someone else as he was in the late 1700s. Honestly I wouldn't change much! Lady Susan can be from money or a washed-up actress or something which is why she's trying to marry and not get a job.

[arolock]

Is Prime's arc really over?

I mean, he's dead alright, no doubt in that, and tbh I sort of hope that he will not be brought back to life. But. BUT.

This is a long ass rant. If you open it, it's on you.

Even in the last confrontation between Prime and C-137 we didn't really get any solid confirmations of Prime and C-137 origin story. We know they've met, we know Prime showed C-137 "infinity" (in his own words) and killed C-137's family, which resulted into C-137 trying to hunt him down, but except those facts confirmed and explained in s6ep1, s7ep3, s7ep5, nothing else was. Not the real meaning of their conversation in the garage, not even the fact of this garage meet-up being the first time they've met, and also not the meaning of Prime's words that he misses it when there were only two of them.

Both Mortys seem to buy everything Evil Morty extracted from C-137's memories (Evil Morty is confident in his tech and Prime Morty is just like that lol), but can we really trust that those memories are intact? What if, just like with Federation, Rick kept main points of events, but changed the details or timeline, that can potentially flip the meaning or change the tone of said events?

The most confusing part in relation to the timeline for me is Prime's slips during his rants: "I do miss when it was just us. The only two Rick's who actually invented portal travel", especially combined with "I showed you infinity".

It makes sense in two possible situations: if Prime showed C-137 the portal tech ("showed you infinity"), offered it, was rejected, left, killed his family and then was actively fucking with C-137 during the first hunt (which can explain the "miss when it was just us" line) OR if Prime showed him the portal tech, C-137, being inspired, also invented the portal travel, and then he and Prime were on friendly terms for some time after that, travelling together or each on their own with random meet-ups, until Prime offered him something else, which C-137 declined. Then everything else followed.

And honestly? IMO, first option doesn't line up. We never saw clones or decoys of Prime during C-137's first hunt in the crybaby backstory, no mocking images of Diane, nothing that could possibly indicate that Prime was actively playing with him. We also see other Ricks owning portal technology during young C-137's run, so there already weren't "just two of us", only in the very beginning maybe. Prime obviously watched C-137 to keep track on him and his whereabouts and shenanigans, but we don't see him making any moves himself, interacting with C-137 in any way. So what's there to miss at all?

Let's look at the second option. What's really interesting about it is how Prime's words "I showed you infinity" can be interpreted in two ways that are not mutually exclusive - as in showing interdimensional travel or showing something entirely else, possibly even bigger. Like something that was supposed to create "Infinite Rick, a GOD", which was mentioned in the 'falce' memory in 03x01 together with another interesting line: "Once we give you this technology, you become the smartest man in the universe". Since we know that Rick uses his own memories to fool people, it's entirely possible that these lines are real, they sound real, like something Prime could say. But.

But how simply owning a technology makes you the smartest man in the universe? The answer is - it doesn't. You just own it. You don't become smarter because you get your hands on a sci-fi tech, unless it alters your own mind/brain to make you smarter, and portal travel doesn't work like that.

This is just a theory based on the altered memory of Rick C-137, but what if Rick Prime wasn't just giving out portal tech, but was actively doing almost the same thing Evil Morty have done - absorbing every possible knowledge of every Rick he encountered, maybe connecting them in some kind of a web instead of killing them, so he could cover his presence not using a Morty, but creating virtual clones of himself everywhere in all those Ricks? Maybe that's what he was tempting C-137 with - infinite knowledge of infinite Rick. Unite every single one of them, make them bigger than the universe, make them THE GOD in every sense possible.

Only that it can cost you everything. Cost you your humanity. Change you ultimately, make you so much above any other being, that it will eventually sound lonely. So Rick C-137 declined.

It's just a random ass theory. But how does it sound?

[sharpth1ng]

What do you think is mentally wrong with billy and stu other then being “insane”

I don't actually think they're insane, tbh. I'm going to give a long explanation of this but I just want to say I'm not judging you or the question. Terms like this get miss-used a lot in pop media (including in Scream) so it's easy to get the wrong idea.

"Insane" is a legal category, not a medical diagnosis. Legally, insanity refers to someone being in a state where they are so out of touch with reality that they can't be considered responsible for their actions. The way this works is complicated, but simply put if the crime was violent then it needs to be proven that the accused person didn't actually know what they were doing.

Successful insanity pleas are very very rare, both because the burden of proof is super high and because people with disorders that involve a break from reality don't commit violent crime that often at all. It's actually pretty rare.

So yeah, by that definition these two are not insane at all. They know exactly what they are doing and they intend to do it. They call themselves "psychotic" but that's also a miss-use of the term. They very clearly don't have psychosis, and aside from that people with psychosis are less likely to act violently than people who don't have it (this is a statistical fact).

On that note I just want to point out that the way media connects violence with psychotic disorders is a real problem. It stigmatizes and isolates the real people who struggle with this stuff. It causes others to judge and fear them, it makes them fear themselves, and it makes it harder for them to access treatment and care. So yeah the psychotic line in Scream is a real pet-peeve of mine, that's why I changed it in my writing.

Getting back to Billy and Stu I really don't think their issues and behaviours can be boiled down to any mental health issues. To be clear I don't think anyones bad behaviour can be boiled down to mental health issues. In some cases mental health issues can help us understand where behaviour is coming from, but they're never the only cause. So I'll talk about the way I write them in terms of the issues they deal with, but just keep in mind that these things not the cause of their actions.

I write Billy autistic partly because I am (but also because of the canonical horror movie special interest and third act meltdown) and I'd say my portrayal of Stu also indicates some type of neurodivergence- probably something like ADHD but I don't have any specific diagnosis in mind. Billy also has some attachment and trust issues- these aren't diagnosis or disorders but they are definitely things he struggles with. For his part Stu is dealing with parental neglect and struggles with loneliness as well as under-stimulation.

All of this stuff informs the way they behave with each other, the walls they put up, and the types of relationships they have with other people. For example Billy isn't emotionally open to Sidney at any point. Even if he wasn't gay there was never a possibility for their relationship to work out because he's completely closed off to her. He doesn't trust her.

In terms of what I think is truly wrong with these two it's the misogyny, the slut shaming and the self-centeredness. That's the kind of stuff that I think explains their behaviour for real, and none of it is related to their mental health issues or insecurities.

Stu is a rich white boy living in suburban California and the way I write him, so is Billy. They have shitty values and the kind of privileged upbringing that teaches men to see themselves as the main character. Billy literally has one of those scary tiktok boy moms, like when we see Nancy in Scream 2 she fully excuses all of his behaviour. He's been brought up not having to take accountability or consider the real effects of his actions. Neither of them have.

So yeah tldr: They aren't insane, they do have some legit mental health issues the way I write them, but none of that stuff causes their actions in the movie. Their actions are caused by a toxic combination of sexism and main character syndrome, which are not mental health issues.

I hope all that makes sense!

[ofmermaidstories]

Bad day for nosy people who need to know what old fandom is 👀👀

lmao, i’m trying to talk myself out of it so that i don’t turn my current WIP list upside down on itself but. 🥹 i fear it has very powerful claws. 🦞 i’ve been mulling over like, why it ([Old Fandom]) is so attractive to me right now and i think it’s a combination of a few things!! like, one is the fact that i never originally left it by choice—real life kinda forced me away from my hobbies, and by the time i could circle back again, the fandom had died (i find it really interesting that so many modern fandoms don’t have staying power, but that’s a different discussion) and i was interested in different things. but now it’s seeing a revival and i’m remembering how much i loved it and how i never really… got closure for it, LOL, as silly as that sounds. 🥹 i never finished any of my ideas. 🥺 i went back into my old account actually, like a couple of weeks ago, and went through my fic drafts i had at the time and it—idk. i guess it just made me nostalgic. 🥹 it’s different, tonally, to what we do here in the bnha/x reader niche!! and it makes me itchy. 🥹😩 god!! so itchy. i wanna dig my fingers into it and move things around. dig it up from the garden. perform necromancy on the lover that doesn’t even know they’re dead, and blinks and finds themselves sitting in the same old kitchen with a cup of coffee in their hand. 🥹🥹🥹 i’m better equipped now—i know how to keep myself interested in long-term projects, how to finish them and, most importantly, what i like.

there’s a lot of stuff i like to write that i just don’t, here in our niche. either because it doesn’t fit in with the bnha world or just doesn’t like… suit the x reader POV. and that’s on me LOL, a better (or maybe more determined) writer could make all those things work, but part of what i like about bnha and x reader and [old fandom] is that they’re distinct—they all feel different. i wrote a lot before i got here!! i wrote so much. i wrote so much that i like, kinda burnt myself out on it LMAOO. there were tropes i liked and settings and tricks i used all the time that after a while they got boring to me. 🥹 and now after a million years of doing something different, i’ve realised—oh. i really liked all that. 🥹 i really like it, still.

idk!! idk. part of not naming the fandom is also because i haven’t decided if i wanna jump back in or not lmao. do i do it, knowing it’ll slow everything up even more? we tell ourselves all the time here in fandom circles that it’s just fanfic/fanart! you’re here to have fun! if it gets hard or boring or you wanna try something new—drop it! do it! you don’t owe anybody anything!! which is all very true yes sure. except i, me, mermie, want to finish things. i want the satisfaction of finishing the IAL series. im actually very proud of the fics, and while i know i will finish shouto’s (barring being kidnapped by pirates or aliens or death himself ig 💀), i also know im a slow writer, and that letting myself deviate off path into a completely different fandom will make me slower. 🥹 so idk. i guess ive just been ruminating on fiddly details like that LOL. also i don’t have a solid plot in mind yet (even tho i have a general gist of what i want) so that’s also probably the main leash rn LMAOOO. tbh if i get one im going in swinging, fist first, so let’s all hope that i remain idealess on that front lest the demons take me. 🥹🙏🏽

[mydogatemymotivation]

So tiktok is back.

If you're going to delete it, refuse to log on, etc., that's smart, that's understandable.

If you're going to stay on the app, please keep this in mind: we don't know what happened. There's a lot of speculation, but the simple fact of the matter is, we don't know. We do know that this was political theatre, we know that DT started this crap in 2020 and now he's trying to take credit for "saving" TT. He's not the savior and anyone who falls for his bullshit is unfathomably stupid. Sorry, not sorry. We don't know what's going on with Shou. He could've bent the knee, he could be playing the long game. I don't know, you don't know, we don't know. I don't think we're going to know for a long, long time what all happened here. Please don't spread misinformation, please don't give into the fear tactics of either side.

If you're on the app, block all meta profiles. Meta quest, facebook, instagram, snap chat, etc. Block fox news, unfollow any politicians you might have previously followed (why were you following politicians). Remember, any politicians that voted for this ban still voted against American's first amendment rights. That hasn't changed.

Use this window of "nothing has changed that much" (YET) to find people and news sources you trust on other platforms. I think we all realized that, if you were on tt, we all used tt as a bit of a crutch and when it was threatened we all felt way too backed into a corner. Everyone needs to be active on different platforms. YouTube, Substack, Reddit, Discord, BlueSky, Tumblr, and nothing zuckerburg or musk owned. You need to find community off of that app, and try to combat right wing ideology where you are. You're a soldier in a digital age, tbh, and the fight is with information. I think YT is a big one because a lot of kids are on that site and a lot of redpill is on that site so kids are getting that crap directly. Report stuff, block people, etc., be more active in those regards. It might be difficult to control the narrative, but it will be worse if there's no one there to fight right wing crap at all.

Take all information from tt with a grain of salt and double check with news sources you trust: as in, nothing mainstream because they're all owned by the same fuckass billionaires. For example, I could be wrong but I'm reasonably certain cnn and fox news are owned by the same people.

It's at this juncture we need to be on the offensive, instead of passive. I think jumping ship every time isn't actually a good practice, its just surrender after surrender. But at the same time be very, very cautious. Use tiktok, but don't use ONLY tiktok and communicate with people on other platforms in other ways. Stay on the places you went to when you thought you were going to lose tt. Pay attention to what's getting violations and what phrases you need to work around to communicate with a larger audience and still get accurate information across.

It's dystopian, but we live in a dystopia. I don't know what else you expected it to look like.

I also know that there's a lot of fun to be had on tt, frankly. There are people you followed because of their food or their craft, or just because you liked them as a person that you're happy you still get to check in with. I don't think its fair to act like that's silly. The human brain wasn't meant to process so much doom and gloom from so many different places. Being happy in dark times is rebellious. Just don't let it distract you from the real fight. Don't let it take over your entire algorithm until you realize that you haven't seen any news in a long time.

There's a lot of nuance, there's a lot of confusion, and people are going to feel the way they feel. But it's unrealistic to act like every single American is going to log off of tt permanently, so while people are getting back on, know what's going on around you, know that something happened to the app while it was down. Please, and I know people aren't good at this but please, be smart.

Spend less time on that app and more time reading books. Yes, books. Get news from more than one place. Spend more time on other apps as well. Find more community online AND on the ground. Stay smart, stay safe, and remember the block button is rated E for everyone. I've blocked people because I didn't like the way they edited their videos, okay? You can block them if you suspect they might be right wing. You can block if they say something suspicious.

It like those scenes in TV shows where a character we thought was in danger comes back and while the main characters have their back turned we see the the kubrick smile that tells us that the "friend" that has returned is an imposter. We know. The audience knows. Sometimes the imposter is going to help. Sometimes the imposter is going to lie. Know it's an imposter, and act accordingly. Do what you feel you need to. Log on and snipe misinformation/disinformation, or stay off permanently and use other apps more. Both are vaild, but know that something is wrong and different.

[yandereunsolved]

If the yans hate me touching my co-stars casually they are going to hate the end of most of our plays- because the professor is a hopeless romantic and he keeps either picking plays with romantic endings or changing them to have romantic endings, which is really funny when I think about it because it means most of the usual cast has kissed on stage with the rest of the usual cast, and also done the whole "method act relationships" which means there are like 3 different "couples" every time we start a new play and I have been asked if we're cheating on each other or poly by girls who realize we either start "dating" someone else a or just stop dating few weeks later, and I've also been asked if the entire theatre department is in a polycule because someone will have a fake partner and then kiss their real partner right infront of them and it's great, the yans would hate it because nobody could ever give a coherent answer about whos dating who, which means that even if they tried to spread the rumor that like, I was dating them and cheating or something (I can't imagine what they'd do other then just kill my co-star so, cheating rumor it is) people would just be like "huh, I wonder who thought they were dating, oh well" It's great, also if they killed my co-star I think I'd force them into the play but specifically as prop holders or background characters (we have enough of a group to have understudies, which tbh makes the relationship rumors even weirder because the understudies need to make chemistry with each other and the main actors because we don't know if we'll need to replace someone until the day of the play) anyway, the Targaryen's would be sitting there seething because the ending of a play is a kiss and there is literally nothing to hide the fact it's a kiss (unless the actor specifically asks for it because they aren't comfortable kissing, but I don't usually do that because I don't have a partner and don't mind most physical intimacy with people as long as everyone involved knows it's platonic- which the yans would also probably hate) but I'm also imagining the batfam with this because I think it'd be really funny if they can't info gather about my relationships past or present simply because everyone has a different answer- the school news paper has a section dedicate to break ups and get togethers for some reason, and that section has another section dedicated to theatre students specifically because the more dramatic theatre students- a rare breed for us, I know- will publicly and very over emotionally break up with eachother at the end of plays when they no longer need to make chemistry, and as such the batfam would be left trying to ask around because this couple broke up a few days ago?? why have they both gotten with someone else already??

-☀️ (sorry my response took so long- I've already got a project due for organic chemistry and have been focusing on that for a bit, so I didn't see your response until just now)

Don't feel bad for taking a second to respond! I take long to respond too. We've both got lives outside of Tumblr. You come first in your own life. You responding back to my responses can come somewhere below that.

The Targaryens would be having a day. A week. An existence. Like it isn't as if they can just kill everyone. ... Can they?

You are going to have to tell them no like cats. Probs get a spray bottle. It's mostly for Aegon. Aegon wants to date everyone you have 'dated' to learn more about you.

It also makes me think if they'll wonder if you are in some sort of brothel-theater mashup.

"Oh. But you kiss everyone. It's only a problem when I try to do it!?" (Aemond & Daemon, probably)

Helaena would just love to see the props and watch the rehearsals.

Alicent would like sowing costumes for you.

Rhaenyra is oddly protective in a way (besides the whole yandere thing) like "If one of them hurts you I will break all the bones in their body and have them strung from the ceiling. Love you, sweetheart. Have a great rehearsal."

[bokettochild]

OKAY I had a really vivid dream and then ideas stemmed from that dream and it was to do with legend so naturally the first thing to do is tell you said ideas right?

Yk how ever since tears of the kingdom was announced people were coming up with content to do with wild getting taken away from the chain to do totk before getting given back to them post totk? Imagine that, but with legend instead cause I think it would be fun.

So basically, everything is the same except to begin with, alltp link is there. So the chain is panicking because why the fuck is there a literal 10 year old here, this is worse than the 13 year old- etc etc. But them being them, they adopt this kid quickly, this is their baby brother and you can't tell them otherwise. Wind is happy there's someone younger than him tbh. The kids also really young, so where legend probably only talks about his adventures during his once in a blood moon lore drops, this child talks about them properly and actually has time to process. He's still traumatised from them but he's dealing with it in a healthy way and is surprisingly good at helping the others too.

Then during a world switch, somehow the kid disappears. He's gone for about... a month for them and then comes back visibly older, and more scarred and traumatised, sporting a fever to boot. For a while they can't get him to say anything about what happened but he's still a young kid so they do get him to talk about it. How idk tbf I haven't thought that deeply into it.

The same thing keeps happening after that. He helps the chain for a few months, disappears for a while and then comes back older and with a new adventure under his belt. By the last one they understood what was happening, and just.. waited for their not so little brother to come back.

I feel like this version of legend would be a lot less prickly than the one we all love because he had a proper support system after each adventure who actually understood what he was going through. Obviously he'd still be sarcastic as fuck but that's just who he is, after all that's a link thing.

I also think that they'd call lil leg some form of rabbit nickname or something to do with the pink hair.

anyways you're cool and this was a thing. Thanks for reading it b y e

FUN FACT!!!!! This is a fic!

I didn't write it, but I remember it was one of the fics that made me love Legend when I was first getting into the fandom!

It opens with ALTTP Link running into a random portal to escape the knights in his era and accidentally coming across the chain. warriors is actually like one of the first one's he meets, and because KNIGHT he goes into full panic mode. Warriors and the others help calm him down though, and eventually integrate them into their group. Wind and Warriors are debatably the closest with him, because Wind has a little brother now, and Warriors because after the misunderstanding when they meet, he kind of becomes Little Leg's protector and safe person.

And then Legend gets thrown back.

He thinks it's a dream, or he made it up to process his loneliness, but then after all his adventures, he finds a portal again, like he used to go through with his big brotehrs, and he's both scared and warily hopefull. He goes through, thinking they'll have grown and changed like him, that he's still the youngest.

He comes back on the same night he disappeared.

Nothing has changed.

They're still looking for him in a panic.

Naturally, Legend being Legend makes some comment about how they'll never find the kid they're looking for, and in a fit of protective big brother rage, Warriors absolutally loses it on him, thus forever imprinting the image of his big brother trying to kill him on Legend's mind.

They figure out what happens not long after, and of course Wars is apologetic, but Legend can now only see his protector as his attacker and a liar (Wars promised to never hurt him) and thus ANGST

The story is still in the works, but I would 100% go and read it! It's a real tear jerker!

.....I'll try and find the link, but if anyone else remembers what this one is called, please tell me, because now I ALSO want to read it.

[spongebob-connoisseur]

@bluebellthesponge

Hmm I dunno tbh. I guess he's just easy to caricature. Bug eyes, crooked teeth, short stature, creepy voice. Even describing it probably puts a handful of characters in your mind.

According to the book The Animated Peter Lorre, there's at least 700+ lorre caricatures/impressions in cartoons. Tho he does include igor-type characters and impressions of an impressions but still, that's A LOT. Too bad the author doesn't give an explaination as to WHY Lorre is so parodied.

I know Looney tunes parodied Lorre because he was one of the popular stars of the day, Looney tunes parodies a lot of famous stars from the 40s so it's not really surprising. I also know in the 90s Looney tunes reboots you have a lot of lorre caricatures because the animators were fans of his movies.

I've heard a story about how Lorre stuck up for the animation union at Warner Brothers and got fired for it and that's why he is caricatured so often as a way to honor him. I kinda doubt the story is true because I can't find a source (and Lorre was more likely fired for beefing with Jack Warner) but if the story is true then it's super wholesome.

Something that is official is Charles Addams (the creator of the Addams Family) telling Lorre that he based Gomez Addams off of him. I know people hate on the 2019 Addams family movies for making Gomez ugly but it's comic accurate because he was based off of Lorre (and the governor of new york in the 30s but that's not important)

I've also heard Lorre parodies are possibly an antisemetic caricature because Peter Lorre was Jewish (his birthname is Laszlo Löwenstein and you can guess why he avoided using it) and let's be real, they often give him very unflattering portrayals. He barely played horror yet is the most affiliated with it, and his "creepier" roles sometimes hinged on the fact that he's a foreigner. It's not a good look. I get that he often avoided telling others he's Jewish and apparently a lot of people didn't know but there's still a weird layer of xenophobia to it that I kinds feel like kinda bleeds into some of the caricatures? That's just my opinion. Most Peter parodies are such copies of a copy that they're pretty far from the original source material. Still, it's food for thought. Especially when making your own Peter parody.

As far as I do know Lorre did like the caricatures, keeping some of the drawings fans sent him and even finding it amusing when others tell him how to do an impression of HIMSELF. Some of those saved fan drawings are still online. My favorite is the drawing of him as a turtle <3 Most of the caricatures was because he was pretty famous for the time.

The most amusing thing about peter parodies is that it's gone on so long that nobody really knows who lorre is, but they can identify his "image" in cartoons. Tim Burton didn't even know Lorre's name when he added Maggot in corpse bride, but he did know the voice and look. That's how it is. (Check out this maggot pin I got recently)

I know for Slappy, Kaz is actually a fan of Peter Lorre and collects his movies, hence why we have Slappy. I remember from Kaz's Facebook where he mentions Slappy saying he never knew just HOW many characters were inspired by lorre. There's also John K (creator of Ren and Stimpy, I know he's terrible) who mentioned on his personal blog that he's a big fan of Lorre which is why Ren from Ren and Stimpy is based off of him. I've notice Ren quotes some Peter Lorre movie quotes, aside from his famous catchphrase "YOU EEEDIOT" of course. (Check out this Ren and Stimpy comic where Ren meets Joel Cairo, a character Peter Lorre played)

I just think it's neat. He shows up everywhere all the time :) I made a joke Thomas The Tank Engine Peter Parody but @thekhaotickrab messaged me saying they found an actual Thomas character with Lorre's voice which is pretty hilarous. Many of these I find amusing because there's no reason for it to exist. Yeah, there's a Peter Parody transformer named Cosmos and he likes scaring people because he's lonely. Yeah, there's several in Scooby Doo for some reason. Yeah he's GOMEZ ADDAMS. He's also a GPS in hotel Transylvania 2. He's also a literal egg with legs in digimon. He's also a lamp.

I heard Lorre's dream was to continue to act forever. He sorta got that wish because he keeps respawning in cartoons forever. I hope this tradition keeps up. Slappy gets a lot of shit but I'm forever grateful to that ugly little fish for introducing me to all of this <3 May the Peter Parody live on forever!

[jikookuntold]

thank you for that, I went down a rabbit hole and needed a level headed person to explain. JM and MY seem really close and I guess I found it more believable than other ships. I absolutely adore JK and JM and I cannot, as a new Army, understand how people cannot see their bond and try and find moments that aren’t there with others, or looks or touches or even in a behind the scenes where they say JM was moaning in Sugas room. It’s so disrespectful of all the members to do this. It grosses me out tbh.

You are weclome, and I appreciate your trust in me. That's true, Jimin and Yoongi are very close, and Jimin has sweet moments with Yoongi just like he does with Namjoon, Hobi or Jin as his other hyungs. But the reason Ymners make up and spread disrespectful lies and misinformation like that, is very clear, and it's Ymn being the side ship for Tkk which has the biggest group of shippers in the fandom. They use Ymn to complete and secure their fantasies, and in one way or another, they need to include Jimin in those fantasies.

But how did we come to this? It's kinda complicated. When you are new in the fandom as a shipper, things are a bit confusing because you are not educated enough to fact-check things, and it's difficult to see what's important as a ship moment and what's not. Unfortunately many shippers take advantage of this confusion and lack of knowledge, and manipulate the newcomers with edited, cropped and altered content or totally twisted narratives.

Every new fan has exprienced this manipulation in some level. Even I, as a Jikooker, had noticed that some of the moments I had watched in compilation videos, were cropped or taken out of context. But I never find anything that was changed in a manipulative way or made out of thin air. I'm not claiming that everything Jikookers say is true, but we can claim that when some misinformation starts to spread, it usually gets corrected and doesn't go on for a long time. Some Jikookers even go overboard with this and start to dismiss the legit moments, and that's why we have a big breed of woke Jikooker, which I don't understand why they bother calling themselves Jikooker, but their wokeness is usually the starting point for the process of leaving.

Anyways, I stopped watching YT analysis and even compilation videos after 2019 and followed everything real-time, but after a while, I realized watching original content is not the only thing you need to do. And there are two other things you need to keep in your mind:

1. Ships and being ship focused all the time, ruins your experience as a fan. If you keep being focused on who stands next to whom, who touches whom, who mentions whom, you can't enjoy the content you are consuming. I'm not saying I don't focus on my ship, because I clearly do it in a deep level, but I try to separate it from my experience as a content consumer, that's the reason I have this blog to organize my thoughts and perceptions on Jikook and it help me not to go down into that rabbit hole.

2. Details matter, but you should not get caught up in them. We pay attention to the details when we review and analyze the moments, but not every detail matters. For example, the date on Jimin's freezer screen was an important and clarifying detail in that content, but JK saying "It's been a while" is an insignificant detail. He could have said it as a mere joke, or refering to the house or maybe just two hours of separation from Jimin is a "while" in JK's dictionary, we don't know. We don't know many things, and we can't judge and analyze everything. Fighting with haters who try to debunk these insignificant details has no use and just gives them the sense of victory they are looking for.

When you try to see things as a whole and stop focusing on irrelevant and insignificant stuff, your mind starts to filter out the unimportant facts and moments and detail, and you don't get insecure or defensive when someone questions or even debunks those details. And what remains, is a collection of special, huge and undeniable facts and moments that spoke by themselves. The level of undeniablity is so high here, that the antis need to use conspiracy theories like fanservice and company force to dismiss them. And I think that's very telling.

[mushroommushy]

Please please tell me your ideas I will be so normal about it I am not at all desparate for Broken Masquerade content

Boy I have so many ideas I actually need to put this in a draft to list all of the brainrot things I’ve had circling in my head!! This does include some negative things so feel free for me to ask to tag.

All of the colleges (Particularly Harvard) adding Thaumaturgy to their classes is extremely cool in the canon and I think there should be many more schools

Site-43 College beloved I want to go there so badly please be real c’mon :[

Those Facebook mom groups…oh boy there’s so much drama

Lord help all the poor kids with minor anomalous power

Segregation with schools, even restaurants

A lot of anomalies end up in homeless shelters because not many jobs are willing to take the backlash of anomalous employees

Shitty parents faking their kid having a dangerous anomaly so they can send them away

Because they think the foundation would just kill them because of all the propaganda

You know that the cults are gonna take advantage of this to try and grow their numbers

Chaos Insurgency propaganda against the foundation

A flag that shows your support for the foundation, GOC, anomalies hanging outside your home

New Genders from the tumblrinas like us

Twitter DNI’s are a genuine hell

‘DNI IF YOU SUPPORT SCP’S/THREAT ENTITIES/OBJECTS’

‘Block me if you call anomalies SCP’s that’s a slur’

Speaking of slurs there’s probably a lot more

COTBG members constantly calling the Nälkan’s Sarkics just to piss them off

And Maxwellium members getting real pressed over internet drama

Someone trying to make the nicknames the Serpents Hand has into a slur

Dr. Glass walking down the street and just has someone scream ‘JAILER’ at him and he is desperately trying to not commit a crime

Also Twitter being Twitter

‘Is it wrong to kin SCP-076-2? I’d murder too if I was under the ocean.’

Extremely dangerous TikTok trends involving anomalies that makes both the GOC and SCP have collective heart attacks

Some girl posts a video from a foundation site doing Macarena during a breach and is just immediately cancelled on every platform

You know there’s gonna be dumbass teenagers trying to find some real dangerous shit to seem cool

‘Oh a lake full of bodies that makes you enter through mind control??? Sounds cool and not totally dangerous I’m gonna find it and go swimming’

Gonna readmore this it’s getting long lol

Five missing teens later the foundations getting slandered even though they did nothing

Articles with the ‘How to tell if ‘X’ is an anomaly’

Of course they’re bullshit and usually offensive

Charities to support anomalies

An actual cult around 2662 that didn’t spawn anomalously

You fucking know that the Christian’s will either take 343 well or absolutely horrifically

There’s also two sides of people when it comes to Cain and Able

The ones who hate Cain and think Able is reasonable and the people who think the opposite

Cain’s also not allowed to leave site-17 for more than just the fact he’d kill plant life it’s for his own safety tbh

Meri does get chances to wander the woods! Just..not in public because they rampage that would happen with the amount of broken phones and cars would be horrible

Iris gets to go home because she deserves it

I feel like Gerald would become a meme in general and people pay his hospital bills for him lmao

Parents keeping their kids out of school and switching to online or homeschooling to keep them away from anomalies

Conversion camps to send your kid to so people can ‘release them from their curse’

Those got the serpents hand real heated

Speaking of them they have the snarkiest Twitter account ever and just roast the living hell out of every word that comes out of the foundations mouth

Podcasts

So many fucking podcasts

There already is a writing on the broken masquerade hub of the foundation making a video with outdated slang to appeal to kids

But I think Dr. Gears should just stare at a camera and say swag with a straight face it would be beautiful

Kondraki, Clef and Gears get called dilfs and not a single one of them knows what it means

‘Kain’s the goodest boy’ even though he’s morally corrupt as fuck is very common

But he will Fuckin run if you even try to touch him he does not need his fur messes up

Ok I don’t want this to be a mile long so I’ll stop here but!!!

If you want more dm me so we can talk 👀👀👀 I need SCP friends

[sarilolla]

have you seen chapter four yet ?

What do you think ?

I have finally watched the full chapter and wow- It's super good!! It was really long, which is good, but it also cramed a lot of lore into it that might not have been needed all at once, but they still made it work (to a degree).

Spoilers and throughts under the cut

I absolutely love the new characters, I dunno what Mob Games put in those creatures, but the new toys are my new babies- Yarnaby being so loyal is so endearing, the new minis living around Safe Haven are adorable, Doey is so interesting, just his everything is so cool and so horrifying and I feel so bad for him. The doctor is a really cool character, a little underwhelming, just a bit, but cool. He gives me William Afton being springlocked vibes tbh

Again, the chapter is long so there's a lot to think about, but I really enjoyed it! The new environments, and the new hand is such a cool concept (also love that we get the red hand back, which I totally predicted in my fic), actually seeing dead bodies that aren't toys really drives in the horrors of this world even more.

The toys' stories are tragic. So many completely lost their humanity, others were desperate to keep it and failed, and a few died to save their hope for a better place. Everything about Doey is super sad, how he was manipulated, three different minds melded together, Jack's parents... Just everything. The fact that Kissy still trusts us is a miracle, and poor baby she's so hurt. I hope we see her again and can help her fast in the next chapter, maybe Huggy seeing her calms her down? We've already gotten allies turned enemies, let us have enemies turned allies! Anyway, love seeing my blue boy again<3

I know a lot of people are upset with Poppy at the end there, but I'm not that upset with her? I know some people headcanon her to have been an adult when she was turned into a doll, but I still don't think so. I think she's a scared child, like almost all the other toys. Thinking about how she had to be a leader, before being most likely kidnapped and locked in a case, then she's freed, she sees all the puzzle pieces fall into place for a good (perhaps not happy, but ultimately good) ending to achieve, and then everything is pulled away from her. Ollie isn't real and is the person/being she fears the most, she lost some of her closest allies because we had to kill Doey, and now everything is threatening to put her back into a cage, one she won't escape from. I feel for her, I think, rather than being angry with her

But yeah, that's a lot! Thanks for the ask ^^

[not-poignant]

Pia plz tell me they repair the teacup

Sadly, they are not going to repair the teacup.

I actually didn't even consider it a possibility for a long time when I knew this was going to happen (and I've known since the teacup was shown very early on, like since that first moment I knew it was destined to be broken).

The teacup is a symbol of Gary's desperate attempts to preserve his past, and convince himself that somehow, James won't be dead one day. It's a way to maintain links to a past he wants to live in, and it represents a need to fill the present with the past in a way that doesn't really allow him to move on.

The teacup being forcibly broken is a reflection on a lot of things, but mostly it's also Efnisien's refusal to be a ghost in a house because of a person who has been dead for nearly a decade. Efnisien actively resents James - who wouldn't, tbh, in those circumstances - not because of Gary's grief, he's very sensitive to that, but because Gary is so emotionally walled off and has chosen to stop living his life, which directly results in these moments of perceived neglect (I really wish they'd both talked about this though) and rupture.

I don't want...that repaired. And it is meant to hurt and feel awful, we ideally get a sense of the gravity of it, because we know just how much of himself Gary has invested in these few material objects in the house. But Gary could invest that energy into real people, and real relationships, and himself.

Efnisien shattered something in Gary, and the combination of the act of domestic violence that Gary just experienced (something that peak alphas are almost never a victim of, so he's not equipped to be super sane about it), the destruction of a precious object, the fact that most of us known that porcelain in particular is vulnerable and valuable in these circumstances, and that it's always seemed out of place in that house, is like... hmmm it's a necessary shattering.

The teacup isn't forgotten, and it's going to keep coming up again for the both of them, because the symbol of what it represents to Efnisien, and what it represents to Gary, is relevant, and that moment is crystallised in both of their minds.

If they can get past this, especially if Gary can, they might have a much stronger ability to mend some of the cracks in the foundation of what they've been building.

Anyway I gotta go cuz Mum's making crepes with lemon and sugar for dinner lol

[ach-sss-no]

Ch5

First chapter & explanation | Previous chapter

Gollum is going over maps of Mordor with Boromir and a friend. (of Boromir's) (at this stage Gollum has no friends)

Boromir has apparently now gone from humoring Gollum to thinking he has real, useful information, because he's bringing in other people to listen to him.

Gollum has tried to eat cooked meat in an attempt to be normal but it's made him sick. (This is because the hobbits were talking about eating real food in the last chapter and Gollum now seems to want to appeal to them, or maybe to feel normal. At this point, he doesn't articulate his own motivations unless they're very basic. He develops more self-awareness later)

There's no real reason why it would, because cooking meat doesn't do anything but pre-digest it for you a little and kill the worms and germs. I'm pretty sure Gollum still digests his food, so his problems are probably psychological.

"Know you not to whom you speak?" Boromir asked of the Man. "This is Sméagol of the banks of the Anduin, who led the Ring-bearer to Mount Doom. He has lived countless years under the Misty Mountains alongside orc-kind, and lived under their torment in Mordor as well, and he likely knows more of their ways than does anyone living among Men." Gollum batted his scraggly hair over his face and gollumed in his throat. He was unused to having his private business aired before strangers. He had grown to consider any fact about his history to be private business, particularly his doings in Mordor, and whom he knew, and where he lived, and his name, and for that matter, what his face looked like.

It looks like this is the signal that Boromir has definitively gone from humoring Gollum and investigating him as a curiosity to having genuine respect for him. Gollum reacts awkwardly on the spot but I'm sure this sunk in because the way he acts to Boromir changes from here on.

After some awkward chitchat about orcs Boromir's friend asks if Gollum is going to scout for Gondor (becasue he's been talking about all the times he's spied on orcs). Gollum declines but reflects that he'll probably be forced to do so in future. He and Boromir go outside to hang out.

"Good night," said Gollum politely. "Good night, my friend." Friend! Sméagol, a friend? That was ridiculous. Gollum decided, for unrelated reasons of his own, that he would not go up the stairs. He turned back. "Wants outside." "Outside?" "Sméagol wants to go outside!" "Very well. It is a fair night. Do you mind if I accompany you?" "Boromir is so strong and fine and tall," said Gollum, "he does what he wishes." "I would accompany you by your choice only, not because I am so much larger." "He may if he wishes," said Gollum, uncertain which answer was desired. He sat hunched on the ground. "Gollum! Where is outside, where is it?" "Ah! Follow me."

Their conversations become more personal from now on (allowing for Gollum fumbling social cues, which is something he would very believably be doing, in his circumstances. And Boromir does it too TBH)

They chat about the Ring.

Boromir spoke next. "It is incredible that you have lived so long among orcs and you do not need anything of the kind [referring to the cane he uses as a mobility aid]." "We hides, doesn't we?" Gollum wondered idly if Boromir knew he couldn't walk fully upright anymore- at least, not for long; it made his back hurt and he found it hard to keep his balance. Though that was not due to orcs, but due to having spent too much time stooped and crawling until it was the only way he could comfortably move… at any rate, he would indeed need a cane if he wanted to move like Men and Hobbits did.

Boromir: hey it's great that you don't need a cane Gollum: *crawling on the ground*

To be fair, Gollum can still spiderman the walls. And kill people barehanded

Actually Gollum's canon mobility is a bit of a question mark. He's almost superhumanly agile- but he crawls on the ground. I try to maintain the things from canon that are interesting because they are ambiguous, but I couldn't write in Gollum's POV without addressing some of his physical capacity. I mean I made stuff up.

"You may sit beside me," said Boromir, "if you wish." "This suits us, it's nice for us," said Gollum, nosing about in the dirt.

I'm thinking that end-of-fic Gollum probably would have picked up on that social cue, but maybe it still would be too vague for him.

I broke the defenses of our group, in my failure. You see before you a leg shortened by the blow of an Orc."

I've since decided it makes way more sense timeline-wise, etc. if Boromir just took an injury to the knee, and have retconned this.

They keep talking. Boromir talks about trying to take the Ring and has a guilt breakdown. Gollum feels sorry for him but has no idea what to do. He sort of paws at Boromir's leg the way he paws at Frodo's knees when he wants to be friendly.

That didn't help him at all, precious, he doesn't want patses like dogs, stop it. We look foolish, silly. Gollum sat on his hands. Boromir reached for his head. Gollum withdrew from sheer instinct, because a large object was coming towards his head, ever so much larger than the hand of a hobbit, and the hand was drawn back. Then Boromir heaved a sigh. "It is late," he said. "I am tired." "O yes, Men sleeps in dark. We will go back now, if he wishes." For Gollum, this was the equivalent of about noon, and normally he would be alert and restless, but his stomach felt like it was boiling and perhaps he would lie down for a while himself.

Progressions of relationships are always fun and this one's interesting to me because

it kind of wrote itself, which is why I'm dissecting it like a frog as if someone else wrote it

It's totally platonic but it's definitely a pursuit relationship, where Boromir has decided he wants to get to know Gollum better, is asking for his time and attention, and is choosing to push for a more personal relationship. He's quick to withdraw/reassure when Gollum's response is anxious but doesn't give up. It's important to note that Gollum never says 'no' in this, he just acts confused and upset to be confused. He is giving signals of someone who isn't necessarily opposed to starting something (in this case, an innocent friendship) but doesn't recognize the pursuit for what it is and is freaking out a little. And because of the state he's in, clearer communication can't solve the problem (Boromir outright calls him a friend and the reaction is 'sounds fake')

Cut to later, Gollum is trying to sleep, can't, and goes out his window into the gardens. An unidentified hobbit is there.

Whatever was over there had the height of a child of the Men but was almost as quiet as Gollum was. A hobbit, a hobbit!

Gollum playfully stalks him.

But, he asked himself, what will we do with the hobbit if we catch him? Have a bit of a chat, he supposed, that was all, and in that case there was no real reason to stalk and hunt. But there was also no reason not to stalk and hunt, no! Besides, if it turned out to be Sam, there was likely no point in talking to him, and Gollum could turn back without ever having been noticed. And if it were the others, well, they had been neglecting poor Sméagol, hadn't they? A little bit of a startle was not such a harsh punishment for that, was it?

Turns out this is Bilbo!

Gollum runs him down for a chat. They banter. I think this scene is better than the first scene with Bilbo but I don't think I quite have a handle on him yet.

This takes place in a similar setting to where Gollum and Boromir were talking and the relationship here is kind of inverted! I don't think I planned this consciously, but we had Boromir pursuing Gollum and now we have Gollum much more literally pursuing Bilbo.

For a moment of lunacy Gollum pondered what it would have been like to travel with Baggins instead, perhaps they would have asked each other riddles. Sam and Frodo had plainly had no interest in riddles and Sam had given him a nasty suspicious glare when he gently brought one up. But Baggins- He was losing his mind. If he'd come upon Baggins alone, he would have murdered him on the spot, as a thief deserved. There would have been no travel!

Gandalf in canon LOTR is the one who suggests that Gollum had a tsundere edge regarding Bilbo (I'm paraphrasing) (I'm disingenuously over-interpreting. I think the actual quote is 'it was nice to hear a kindly voice')

But this is also the opposite direction of the interaction with Boromir, there, Gollum was struggling to recognize that he wants to accept Boromir's friendly overtures and doesn't know how to do it, and here he's struggling to recognize that he likes Bilbo and wants to forgive him and ask forgiveness and be pals. (Spoilers, that only comes out Many chapters from now.) And he would have no idea how to begin. Let's see what he does instead

Gollum stepped out of the shadows, standing up to his full height. [which is something he can do. in the book. took me out the first time I 'saw' him do it] Bilbo saw him at once, and gave a little start before regaining his composure. "Dear me," he said. "I didn't see you there. Good evening, out for a midnight stroll yourself, I suppose? I'm not sure what the etiquette is for walking around here at night, I hope this isn't considered rude. I'm Bilbo Baggins, by the way." "I know." Bilbo jumped straight up in the air, and ended by standing on top of the park bench.

Gollum used JUMP SCARE It's not very effective...

"A midnight sstroll," Gollum chuckled, rocking forward into a more comfortable stance, with hands near the ground ready to prop his weight on. "Yes, precious! That is what we are about, Sméagol thought he was quite alone." He tilted his head, fixing Bilbo with a sidelong glance. "Is it rude, he asks us? Rude, yes, it may be, disturbing us, but we will not tell anyone." "I'm not particularly bothered by being rude to you," Bilbo said hotly. "No, no, we knows that," said Gollum, "he was loitering outside our sick-room some nights ago, and that is rude too, it is."

Gollum used INSULT It's not very effective...

"Then what are you doing here?" "Sss, we are not fond of flowers," Gollum said to himself, "so there can be nothing outside we wants at all, gollum, of course."

Gollum used MALICIOUS INTERPRETATION OF INNOCENT STATEMENT and PASSIVE AGGRESSION It's not very effective...

"What trick? What trick?" "If I knew, it wouldn't be a trick," Bilbo retorted hotly. That made so much sense that Gollum was starting to get angry.

BILBO used CAPTAIN OBVIOUS! Gollum became confused! Gollum is confused! It hurt itself in its confusion!

Gollum begs for riddles again and it leads to this.

Bilbo's hands had the faintest tremor. Most would not haven noticed, but Gollum could see so keenly in the dark- the moon had kindly gone behind the clouds- and he was particularly good at noticing motion, at that. "How many... how many people have you eaten? Not Orcs." Gollum blinked, wondering if he'd heard correctly. "That isn't a riddle." Did he just do this every time someone asked him for a game? Ask questions that weren't riddles? What a nuisance he must be! "I heard that you broke into houses in Mirkwood. Not to burgle them." Bilbo looked pale and frightened. An old, rusted gear in Gollum's mind lurched forward a clumsy notch. Bilbo had spared Gollum's life... Bilbo had taken Gollum's ring... Gollum had left his cave because Bilbo had taken Gollum's ring and not killed Gollum...Bilbo felt responsible for the bad things Gollum had done since leaving his cave!

I forgot about that part. He probably would feel that way wouldn't he. Poor Bilbo.

So Bilbo is asking again about Gollum's past cannibalism. This time instead of just going 'pfft who cares' again, Gollum gets defensive and then lies. That's uh. That's character growth. For him.

"That is not its business," Gollum said quickly. He felt a strange, strong pulse of discomfort. "He doesn't need to know what we've been doing. He did not tell us to do any of it, no!" "I would still like to know," said Bilbo. "He does not need to know!" "I want to know," Bilbo insisted. "Don't you dare tell me you need three guesses for this one!"

Gollum prevaricates and claims he only ate people he found already dead. This is a lie.

The horror in Bilbo's eyes was unmistakable. Gollum growled, and moved sideways to create a very obvious clear path back inside. "How do you live with yourself?" Bilbo asked. Gollum watched Bilbo until Bilbo began to squirm, and then he laughed abashedly. "Staring, staring!" he said. "Not nice, not nice, is it? Be gentle with poor little Sméagol, he does not always remember his manners." He averted his eyes. "I should say he doesn't," Bilbo squeaked.

Gollum has lost this encounter. He tries to recover his dignity and then crawls off, with a final:

"Yes, such a shame! I will go, back into the dark, and you may stay, or go, or do what you wish, or look at your flowers and rhyme your nonssense. You will know where I can be found." What had possessed him to utter that last bit, he did not know, but he left.

"Gollum, you're a complete monster!"

"Call me" 😘