#tbh I would love 500
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titanfortuna · 3 months ago
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In the birders group chat talking about how we all had an unpleasant time in high school and how the transphobic and homophobic people that were there should have 500,000 funnelweb spiders in their house for doing all that and then I was like oh... have any of you heard of taylor hebert and someone HAD
I love when you meet a worm reader in the wild...
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jacarandaaaas · 9 months ago
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I try not to think too much about the fact alma is so emotionally distant from everyone that the last time mirabel was hugged was before her ceremony
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which just makes almas affection in dos oruguitas even more profound because we see how rarely she does show physical affection to her family!
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mikuhats · 1 year ago
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happy winter
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thesmithsfanclub · 11 months ago
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i don’t think i can explain HOW MUCH i want a boyfriend tbh. like i want someone to cuddle with. i want someone to bring me coffee to work and distract me until my manager yells at me. i want movie nights and i want to relate to love songs. i want to listen to the smiths and dance and laugh even though the songs are sad, so sad, but we’re so *happy* together.
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chemicalarospec · 6 months ago
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#i feel like. um. tours go where the audience is#and uh. perhaps. just a theory. two english speaking youtubers are going to have a larger audience#in western counties and especially english speaking countries#they even only have two shows in the very south of canada#wait dam ni did not know canada's population is TEN times less than the USA. that explains a lot#anyways i was just getting to the point that they definitely have dedicated fans all over the world who would love to see them#and they know that#but they have to consider whether they're going to have 50 people in a theatre or 500#and if they're going to be forcing those 50 people to travel great distances or 500 ppl who live right next door y'know#to be quite frank despite the rennassiance i'd say they're still less popular than at the II era#damn WAD had SIX canada shows something's up with that.... maybe it's just bigger venues#seems like WAD has a lot more shows in a lot of places but i did compare the venues in my area and the TIT one is 2.5x bigger#anyways yeah my own example. i'm not sure if i'll go. even tho i'm watchign them again i'm not a Fan like i was back in 2020#damn THREE shows in florida that's insane. why#but yeah even looking at the USA map there's nothing in the northern midwest#i'm sure there are at least 10 phannise in montana who are scrimping and scraping to travel to washington right now#but the fact of the matter is the northern midwest is the most sparsly populated area of the USA#so it just won't pay off to travel there - even tho the % phannie is probably the same as the rest of the USA#the population is low enough multiply by that % = too few people!#and on the europe map we can see they're only going to northern europe#they're not even going to france or spain#now i'm not an expert in europe but i am under the impression that northern europeans speak more english#so more of them will be fans of english-lanuage dnp#and tbh i think the reason they haven't said anything is um. that they expected people to know this.#dnp#also um. ppl talking about this in context of latin america and asia um there's another big continent missing: africa.#but nobody seems concerned about that one because nobody expects there to be dnp fans there#so like people must understand this to some degree#also if dan lost money on WAD it makes sense they'd be more conservative booking venues#it's entirely reasonable to be heartbroken ofc just saying this bc i saw ppl say The Only Possible Reason is racism
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buggysimp · 2 years ago
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Want....to work...on....my....south park au.....but too busy....being a....housewife......*crumbles away into dust*
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decembermoonskz · 1 year ago
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welcome to another episode of I hate my neighbors 🫠
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vieaccorde · 15 hours ago
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What’s your cozy cabin drink?
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Pumpkin Spice Latte.
You are cozy, warm, and delightfully nostalgic. You cherish traditions and the little things that make life sweet, like the scent of cinnamon and crisp autumn air. Your approachable, down-to-earth nature makes you the perfect companion for those cozy afternoons and good times with friends!
Tagged by: stolen from my other blog.
Tagging: anyone who’s interested! <3
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opalthea · 3 months ago
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you all know i'm a sucker for genshin men as always, including venti . like he'd make a great lover, sure ... but sometimes i lay awake at night eyes wide open with tears running down my face thinking about how fucking great he is as a parental figure .
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jiraiema · 2 months ago
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Love the tags, that's really interesting :> I didn't know all that. I just got it to play music! I gotta learn more about walkmans!
Guys check out my new walkman :>
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gutsheapofrawiron · 1 year ago
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i signed up for uni for september but it sucks ass because i got the textbook and flipping thru it i just dont think i can do this unmedicated 👹
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genderqueer-karma · 2 years ago
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new name(s) just dropped ‼️‼️
i’m being openly cringe and going blorbo mode, so… new names are colias + damian !
as for now i don’t necessarily prefer them over other names (dio/d), but feel free to use them interchangeably, i don’t mind!
i’ll end up rb’ing my intro post with an addition about this at some point <3
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cintipede · 2 years ago
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1000 posts it says ive done... cheers to 1000 posts of being a small jester
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guillotine-drop · 11 months ago
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Ranking New Vegas companions by their alcohol tolerance
Arcade - 6/10: Hear me out, Arcade is a fairly big guy and between his genetics and the work he does, he’s bound to have some weight behind him. Do I think he’s going toe to toe with the average Wrangler patron? No, but I do think you could sit him down with a bottle of wine and by the end he’d be juuuuust tipsy enough to follow you into that Nightstalker cave with minimal complaints.
Boone - 4/10: Despite being a miserable boot boy with a dead wife, I think Boone is on the lower end of alcohol tolerance solely because he’s a sniper; I feel as though the job description means that you can’t exactly be swaying with your shots, so his tolerance would be piss poor. You could probably get him to drink a 12 pack with you, but just watch out: he might start showing a human emotion, and that’ll be uncomfortable for both of you.
Cass - 8/10: There’s something to be said about the fact that you need at least 8 Endurance to be able to beat her at the drinking contest to recruit her. Obviously she can hold her liquor, but I WILL dock points for being sloppy about it. (Girl how did you manage to wake up with a random soldier after the battle??? Don’t you know what your mailman looks like???) Share the whiskey but make sure you loop her belt around a pipe or something so she doesn’t run off.
Veronica - 3/10: I love Veronica. I love her so much. I don’t think she can hold her liquor to save her life. I think Ronnie is a ‘3 drinks and she’s out’ kind of girl. That being said, I also think that she could probably get through most of a box of hard seltzers before she starts feeling it, and I think she’d shotgun them with her Power Fist to be funny.
Raul - 10/10: He’s a ghoul, he’s old, and he’s miserable 95% of the time. I think if you handed him a bottle of Dubious Liquid he wouldn’t even hesitate to drink it. I think he’s drank rubbing alcohol just to see what would happen. I think if you give him a totally intact, unopened, top shelf bottle of tequila, he’d have to excuse himself to the other room for a minute. Definitely the one I’d want to go drinking with.
Lily - 15/10: Mamaw’s 7 feet tall and 500 pounds of sheer muscle with a super mutant metabolism, I don’t even think conventional liquor would affect her tbh. I think she’s drinking that Jacobstown Moonshine that melts spoons and eats through glass. I think she could drink a can of turpentine and it would be like a White Claw. Go grandma, but for the love of god not to the bar. I do NOT have the caps for that.
Rex - 6/10: Okay hear me out (again). He’s an old as hell cyber dog who went through multiple owners, he’s probably got more metal than organs, and the last guys who had him were Elvis impersonators who do fuckall all day but day drink and watch each other do cabaret. You look me in the face and tell me that dog hasn’t had more booze pass through his system than the average wastelander. It’s still only a 6/10 because he shouldn’t be getting it, but are you gonna tell him no? Look at that face. And lower your glass.
ED-E - 0/10: Please do not pour liquor into the orb.
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licorice-tea · 10 months ago
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The Object Of All My Desires
Pairing: Trafalgar Law x reader
Content: so much angst, unrequited feelings (or so law thinks!), pining, yearning, (verbal) fighting, cursing, reader refers to law as a “stalker”, which is valid tbh bc he’s being a little weird, but not really, strawhat reader
Word Count: 2.5k
A/N: oh my god i spend so long on this and i just kept hitting mental roadblocks! but then, tonight i got the inspiration to write like ~500 words and finished it up. there were only meant to be 2 parts, but similar to the second season of bridgerton (which it’s inspired by) there will be a 3rd! (the 1st part is based on the first meeting of kate/anthony, this part is based on that entire pinning phase+the confesssion, and the last will be shorter and basically be a resolution of everything.) also, im looking for beta readers! pls dm or comment if you’re interested!!! and if you’d like to be tagged in the next lmk! thanks for reading <3
Part 1 • Part 3
The second time you and Law were around one another long enough to have to face the other and, god forbid, speak, would come 2 years after your first meeting. After all your training apart from your crew, you had finally united and started traveling together again. You and your nakama took on all the challenges Fishman Island had thrown at you and soon moved on to the next adventure: Punk Hazard. It was there you met the standoffish Captain of the Heart Pirates again, and he proposed an alliance to Luffy between your two crews. So here you are; in an alliance with a captain you’d managed to piss off 2 years ago, and who clearly still carries that grudge with him.
Law already doesn’t like being part of the alliance with Straw Hat- but you only make it 1000 times worse. It’s unbearable having to be on the same ship as you, let alone sit at the same table over meals or pass each other in hallways. Not to mention, you seem to make everything a competition. And he doesn’t want to be in as childish a feud as the one that the swordsman and the love cook have, but you’re forcing him to act that way. You’re absolutely insufferable, and how he ever found you remotely intriguing or pretty to begin with is beyond his comprehension.
And yet, Law can’t pull himself away from you, nor you from him. He lingers in dark hallways just to pass by you as you go about your errands on the ship. He stares long enough to burn holes through you, then turns away milliseconds before you catch him (or so he thinks.) But every time you approach the reserved man, he exudes an air of annoyance.
It all makes you wonder, “What’s his deal?” Besides your little tiff back in Sabaody 2 years ago, you’ve never done anything to offend him in his time on the Sunny… Maybe you just need to clear the air. Yeah, that’s it; confront Law and ensure there is no bad blood between the two of you. No grudges, just goodwill.
You hope.
~
The Strawhats and co (Law) are docked at a small island, just for a day or so. Frankly needs supplies, Sanji; ingredients, Chopper; medicine, Zoro; booze, etcetera. And since most of the others have something specific they’re in search of, you have a free day to explore and shop!
You bid Brooke goodbye and thank him for watching the ship, then make your way up the dock and into town. It’s a quaint area, but the market near the entrance of what resembles a town square is overflowing with interesting bits and baubles.
Though you are happy to have this time to yourself, you’re not alone. Law is a mere 20ish feet away. He doesn’t greet you or even make eye contact, instead choosing to lean into shadows and stand behind vendor booths. You can tell that he’s trying to go unnoticed, pretending to be interested in whatever wares the shopkeepers have for sale every time you turn back to check for him.
And it’s fine, for a while. This could be a good opportunity to try and talk to him and ensure that the two of you are on good, if not neutral terms. It’s a little strange that he’s following you now after the two of you have had close to no interactions during his week or so on board the Thousand Sunny, but you don’t mind.
You cannot, however, pass up the opportunity to harmlessly scare him when he gets momentarily distracted by one of the little shops. While Law is reading titles of comic books (how strange…), you double back so that when he looks up, he can’t find you. He scans the marketplace, but to no avail- you must have run off somewhere.
Then you tap his shoulder, and the man nearly jumps out of his skin as he whips his head around to see who it is.
“You really like stalking me, huh?”
“…I’m not stalking you.”
“No? Well, whatever you want to call it, it’s the second time it’s happened.”
“What are you-“
“Sabaody, 2 years ago.”
“I wasn’t stalking you then, either.”
“Fine; following me through at least 3 groves while trying to be quiet and stay out of sight.”
Law scoffs. “Whatever.”
“Hm…” You lean to the side to see what’s behind him; display shelves with various comic books. “What were you looking at?”
“Nothing, I wasn’t even looking here.”
“Ah, so it’s ok for you to lie to my face, but not me to you. Got it.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
You nearly laugh. 2 years ago, after proceeding to follow you through several groves of the Archipelago, Law had insisted on knowing if you were a pirate or not, and the conversation had somehow escalated into an argument. It was a stupid little thing. But, you find it funny now, which is why you’re attempting to make jokes about the encounter and ensure him there are no hard feelings reserved over it. “Again, Sabaody.”
“Well… maybe you should stop carrying a grudge over that.”
“I’m not.”
“You are.”
“I only bring it up because I think it’s funny.”
“I think it’s childish.” Law doesn’t know why he says this, to be honest. He wants to come off as smart and witty, though he might not have executed it very well.
With a scoff, you cross your arms. “Law you’ve refused to even look at me in your time with my crew. When I try to talk to you, you act like you don’t hear me or straight up ignore me. Then you go and stare at me from across as if I can’t see you. And I’m childish?”
“Yeah, you are, and I don’t like you. Is that what you wanted to hear?”
“Better than you being an awkward asshole with no explanations as to why.”
“I’m not fucking awkward, shut up.”
“Oh no, you just follow people around for the better part of an hour without talking to them. Very charming.”
Law huffs, unamused, and storms off without another word.
You sigh and continue browsing the stalls. “Ok, so, maybe there is some bad blood between us….”
~
Things are awkward between you and Law for the remainder of the evening. Not only is he avoiding you, but you’re also avoiding him. And though you still try your best to be at least a little friendly, he straight up ignores all of your attempts. Whereas before your little confrontation in the marketplace, the stoic man would have at least responded with an eye roll.
When it’s dinnertime, you take your seat next to Robin as usual. Casual conversation and laughter flow around the table easily and seemingly endlessly… until Law walks in. He sits in the only empty chair, next to Chopper’s, and nods at Sanji in thanks for the food. And you, foolishly, try to incorporate him into the conversation. Maybe you do it to try and heal the small rift between the two of you, or maybe you simply want to provoke him further (though you'd never admit it.)
“So, Law, how was your day?”
Everyone pauses their conversations to not-so-discreetly listen in. They had also recognized the growing tension between you and the ally captain, for seemingly no reason at all.
“Mind your own business.”
“Hard to do when you’re always in mine.”
He nearly spits out his drink.“What?”
“You heard me.”
“I’m starting to get sick of your behavior, y/n.”
“So sick that you just can’t seem to leave me alone?”
“Watch the way you speak to me-“
“My apologies Law, I’m so used to being watched by you rather than having conversations, I must have forgotten my manners-“
“Shut up!”
“Fuck you!”
Now that both of your voices are raised, the crew sees it fit to intervene.
“Watch how you speak to them, Trafalgar-“ Sanji warns.
Similarly, Robin tries to talk you down. “Y/n, he’s our ally-“
The attempts to calm what had nearly turned into a screaming match prove futile, as Law storms out. You scoff and cross your arms. He’s so infuriating, it makes you sick to your stomach.
Silence passes as your crewmates look between each other, none wanting to be the first to… console you? Admonish? Give advice.
“You two should talk, y/n.” Says Robin, ever so mature.
“If he wants to talk, he can come to me instead of constantly staring at me from across the deck without saying anything.”
“Well, he’s clearly not very good at showing it, but you realize that he likes you, don’t you?”
You blink and turn to look at her. This must be another one of her dark jokes. “Very funny, Robin.”
“Oh, y/n, come on!“ Usopp groans; he’s had enough of the yearning and tension. “You seriously didn’t know?”
“No! Because he doesn’t like me. He’s been holding a stupid grudge against me since the first time we met back in Sabaody-“
Nami backs up Usopp’s point; “A crush, y/n. He’s had a crush on you and he’s too shy to talk to you normally-“
“So, what, it’s ok for him to just watch from afar but then act like a jerk when I try and talk to him?”
Surprisingly, Chopper speaks up next. “…Maybe your intentions came off different than intended?”
This makes you bite your lip in thought. Perhaps they had.
Nami pats your shoulder, “Now, go work this out so the rest of us don’t have to deal with all your unresolved tension.”
You unintentionally pout; the last thing you want is to talk to Law right now. But, your crew urges you on, and all but pushes you out the door.
~
You find him pacing back and forth on the starboard deck of the Sunny.
“Law?”
He whips around and you swear you see his scowl become even more pronounced than usual. The crease between his brows deepens, as the corners of his lips turn into a borderline pout. “Not done tormenting me?
“Tormenting? I just… I came to talk to you.“
“I find that hard to believe. From the moment we met, you have been nothing but rude and a nuisance to me.”
You scoff, all plans of reconciliation forgotten. “Believe me, Law, the feeling is mutual.”
“Fuck off.”
“This is my ship, so why don’t you fuck off? Jump overboard for all I care.”
“Maybe I will if it gets me away from you.” Law turns on his heel and storms off the open deck and into a hallway.
“Good luck swimming, asshole!”
Your rebuttal brings him right back to his former position, face to face with you so that your screaming match can continue “I hope you know that every moment I have to spend on this ship is torture, y/n, all because of you.”
“I haven’t done shit to you, Law.”
“Then whose fault is it that I feel this way? Go on, name someone else so I can take it out on them instead.”
“It’s your fault if you feel any type of way about me besides amicably. I’ve been nothing but kind, and-“
“Bullshit. Whether you know it or not you’ve done… something to me, I can feel it.”
“Oh yeah? And since when do you know anything about how you feel, all you do is brood.”
“I don’t brood. And I know that you are the bane of my existence.” He spits back, making sure to emphasize the word bane.
You hold your breath, refusing to play into this childish argument any longer. Or maybe it’s because, even if it’s just a little, his words genuinely hurt. You realize then, that you don’t want to be the so called ‘bane of his existence.’ He takes your silence as an opportunity to continue, though at a much lower volume than before.
“… And the object of all my desires.”
After a moment of disbelief, your scowl turns to a raised brow. “Excuse me?”
“Every one of my waking hours is plagued by thoughts of you. It doesn’t help that I can’t go anywhere on this goddamned ship-“
“Don’t you talk about the Sunny that way-“
“- without seeing you!”
“Well you must enjoy being around me if you’ve decided I’m,” you create air quotations with your hands, “the object of all your desires.”
You feel so out of your depth now. All you know to do is to bite back with witty remarks, even when he opens up to you. And he seems to do the exact same.
“It’s a nuisance.”
Your lip trembles, but you refuse to cry in front of Law while he plays this sick mind game with you. “I didn’t know liking me was such an awful fate.”
He lets out a shaky breath. “There are so many other things I should be focused on, but all I think of is you. It’s not awful, but it’s making me weak.”
“You’re such a prick, Law.”
He’s bewildered, mouth gaping as he tries to understand what could’ve been wrong with what he’s just confessed to you. “I’m saying I like you, y/n, I- Do you hate me that much?”
“No, I don’t hate you, idiot! But you- when you started traveling with us, you made me feel like I had done something to offend you, and then when I confronted you about it in the market you started to really hold a grudge, then you - I just- that’s not how you treat people!”
“Y/n-“
“Are you messing with me right now, Law? Is this another play to try and gain the upper hand in this… ongoing thing we have?”
“No, I wouldn’t…” He trails off and shakes his head. He probably would, if he weren’t so enamored with you and on the condition he possessed the social skills to pull off such an elaborate scheme. “It’s not.”
You’re silent again, but both you and Law are refusing to break eye contact. He must notice your still watery eyes and trembling bottom lip because he steps forward. His hand travels to your arm, then your chin. Forced to look at him, you are pained to see a similar unhappy look in his eyes. Minus the tears. You could almost take him for sorry if it weren’t Trafalgar Law, of all people. So instead of falling into his arms like you suddenly feel a desperate need to; you step backward.
You fold your arms over your chest as you look off somewhere- anywhere besides his eyes. “Law, nothing good can come of this.”
“This? What is this, y/n?”
“These.. feelings.”
“You feel the same?”
“I didn’t ask to feel this way!” You bite back, “But… yes, I do.”
“So what should we do?”
“We aren’t going to do anything, Law. You just stay in your lane, and I’ll stay in mine.”
“I thought you didn’t like that I was avoiding you?”
“Well now that I know why, what else can be done? Nothing can happen between us, Law. And we can’t allow feelings to complicate this alliance. I can’t allow that, at least; it’s too important to Luffy.”
He searches for reasoning that will trump yours but comes up with none. And so, with a heavy heart, he concedes. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Nothing happened.” Law confirms.
“And nothing will.”
You nod and start walking away. “Goodnight, Law.”
“Goodnight, y/n.”
And once you’re back safely in your room, the tears start to spill. You hate this- you hate him. You hate the way he makes you feel. You hate that you’re in love with him, and it took you this long to realize.
The tears don’t stop until you’re knocked out, and by the time you wake up, they’ve stained your cheeks.
Taglist: @augustanna @lavanderdreamve @pinksaiyans @khaleesihavilliard @jennapancake
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slutfactory · 2 years ago
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‘MILKING’ COW. ★ w. ushijima x m!reader. [requested!]
request by anon. “Ayo, idk if ur reqs are open, but can i request a cow Ushijima fic? Kinda down bad for him. Nothing specific so do whatever! Ty!
warnings. cow!ushi + m!farmer!reader, animal features (cow ears n horns), light overstimulation. nothin much tbh, just soft(?) sex w ushi. <3
author's note. same, anon. same. we love ushi gushi on this blog. also, soft boi hours + horny hours actually go pretty well together?? who would've thunk it?
<500 words yeh kinda short
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you couldn't quite put your finger on it, but something about this felt oddly.. backwards..??
ushijima, as he had been doing for the past fifteen minutes, whorishly bounced up and down on your cock. even after both of you having orgasmed not too long ago, he didn't stop—
—oh. right. he was milking you. that's what it was.
wet plap noises, along with wakatoshi's mewls of pleasure filled the room, echoing against the walls. feeling a bit too sensitive, you stopped him, holding his hips in place when he lowered himself. the sight of your beloved, prized cow breeding himself on your cock and moaning like a slut was almost enough to make you cum again. right then and there.
the olive haired man looked at you, eyes filled with pure lust and desire. “i wan’ more.. please-.. ” he whined, squirming on your lap—you stifled a groan at this. “milking master feels so good.. ”
your dick twitched, hearing ushijima's pleas. he was so cute, and that made you want to ruin him. but, he wanted to be the one to do the milking this time—and after hearing him beg, you just couldn't say no. honestly, how could you? why would you?
releasing ushi's hips, you gave him an approving nod. he let out a few whines, quiet at first, but slowly increasing in volume, as he began to move again; at the same speed he did before you stopped him. you in turn, let out your own share of grunts and moans, much to his pleasure.
apparently, ushijima was also sensitive after orgasming earlier– or at least you assumed that from how his inner walls twitched and tightened around your shaft much more than before. adorable. “gonna cum already, baby?” he nodded, holding onto your shoulders a little tighter. “me too. let's cum together, 'kay?” you purred.
about thirty seconds of sloppy riding passed before ushijima came, spilling his load on his and your stomachs. this did not stop him, though—he was overstimulating himself now, but he wanted you to cum inside of him.
you of course granted his wish, as his cunt tightened around you as he continued riding you; which almost immediately brought you to orgasm. a strained groan left your lips as you did so. wakatoshi let out a broken whine as he felt your hot seed filling him up inside. “'s so hot.. ngh.. ” he muttered while trying to catch his breath. “master felt good too, right?”
also breathless, you chuckled softly and kissed his forehead. “of course, honey.” again, you chuckled, seeing his ears twitch slightly as his face lit up—seemingly with happiness and a bit of embarrassment. ushi buried his face in the crook of your neck, and you tried to ignore one of his horns lightly stabbing at your skin.
“c'mon. we have to clean up. i'll make your favorite food for dinner, alright?” you pat him on the head. a content 'mm.' was all you got in response.
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