#tbf. she DOES know everything. objectively

[dcconfessions]

I used to hate Barbara Gordon because the fandom would always portray her as some perfect Mary Sue that did everything perfectly and new everything and had her shit together.

It's okay tho I like her now since I actually read up on her some and know that she's not actually like that (fuck dc tho for taking away oracle)

.

[arolesbianism]

Every day I shake and cry as I stare longingly at years old posts and threads abt oni lore knowing very well that even if the original poster still gives a shit abt oni lore they probably don't give as much of a shit as I do

[thats-my-passion-right-there]

Also we could have made it SO MUCH GAYER?!?

I finally saw the mean girls musical (the movie one) I have so many fucking thoughts oh my god

[phantom-of-the-501st]

Thoughts on TBB 3x10: Identity Crisis and 3x11: Point of No Return

SPOILERS BELOW

Let's not start kidnapping kids for experimentation. That's never going to go well

This show has progressively gotten greyer and it's so depressing. I want my sunshine back

Of course the Empire are experimenting on kids. "Oh we cAn'T fiNd EnOugH aDulTs. We juSt uSe cHilDrEn iNsteAd". 🖕

Ayyyyy Bane is back!

Well he didn't kill the parent so that's something

This is so depressing 😭

"I was following protocol". Everything that comes close to "good soldiers follow orders" makes me really sad

Have we met someone else called Jax? I swear we've heard that name before

The fact that they have 3 specimens but their specimen numbers are much higher than 3 does not make me feel good. What happened to all of the other ones???

"To retrieve it". "It". Literally just an object to Dr Arsehole over here

Trandoshan? Pirate? FUCK YOU CID FOR SPILLING ABOUT PHEE

"Let's just say I'm good at my job" suggests he has picked up a hell of a lot more than 3 kids so where are the others?!

NOT THE LULA DOLL

I feel like this is a good time to note that I still don't like Emerie. Her dedication to Hemlock and her involvement in the Empire up until this point outweigh all of her current actions for me. So no, I still don't like her.

"But what about Nala Se?" I hear you ask. Don't like her either! I respect that she's trying to protect Omega but the number of problems that lanky bitch has caused means that I'm not going to forgive her that easily

People really need to stop leaving the door to their ship open BECAUSE SHIT LIKE THIS HAPPENS

1600??? FOR FUEL?! BITCH THEY TRIED SELLING ECHO FOR 2000

Tbf with fuel prices the way that they are I shouldn't be surprised

NOOOOO NOT PABU 😭

DON'T LEAVE THE GOGGLES THERE

AND LULA TOO?!

AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

FUCK THAT'S NOT GOOD

Oof that little bit of Omega's theme really hits in the feels 🥲

Eliminate them? How about no

NOT THE MARAUDER

I KNOW IT WAS IN A TEASER CLIP BUT NOOOOOOOOO

You know what I'm suddenly very glad that the goggles and Lula were off the ship

Nah I don't like that Wrecker's down. He never goes down for long

"Search every domicile" Domicile? DOMICILE?! Now where have we heard someone use that term before...

The Kiners are really popping off with this soundtrack 🔥

Crosshair's little "uh huh" 😭

SOMEONE CALL ECHO FFS

How about no to the recapture plan

If CX-2 turns out to be Tech then we only have 4 episodes left to address that entire storyline and I don't know what to do with that information

Errrrrr Hunter's not gonna be happy when he finds out what Crosshair and Omega have been up to

Neither's Wrecker tbf

Or Echo

Anyway... Cross is going to have a fun time explaining that one

Echo's gonna get a fun call as well. "So errr... The Empire took over Pabu, Omega got herself recaptured by choice and the Marauder is in pieces so... can we get a lift please?"

FUCK CROSSHAIR MISSED THE TRACKER

Me after these episodes

Some solid episodes today. I really enjoyed them! Am I still annoyed that Echo is still stuck as someone to be name dropped but not actually put in the episode? Yes. But these were some strong episodes.

I'm still trying to compute how this is all going to get wrapped up in 4 episodes though. That's really not a lot of time. 😭

BINGO UPDATE

Only just clocked that I have "Batcher dies" written on it. When I wrote it I meant one of the Batch members. I didn't know we were gonna get a hound called Batcher 😅

[got-into-worm-by-mistake]

Grue went on, “You know what you did wrong?  You didn’t fucking tell us.  You let me fucking go in there and talk to those guys and get caught with my pants down.  I had to fucking defend the actions of my team without knowing what the fuck people were talking about.  It made me look weak.  It made all of us look weak.”

Objectively, I should feel more bad for Rachel than I do, given... everything. But I can't really control which characters I glom onto and which I don't. If it wasn't for the dog thing, I'd probably have a bit of an easier time, if she was just a gruff, uncommunicative bitch of a person, but the fact that she basically thinks like a dog or so we're supposed to believe makes that a bit harder, among other things.

But she really does win the 'Kylia's Least Favorite Undersider' contest every day running so far. She seems to create as many problems as she solves.

Of course, this whole scene isn't really making me like Brian either, because he's saying shit like Rachel 'made' him do stuff, which she did, and didn't, and Brian isn't actually meaning it the way it sounds, but fuck if it all doesn't really work for me. Because it really fucking doesn't work for me.

“You’re frustrated, I get it,” Tattletale spoke.  Bitch was staring in the window of the bookstore, avoiding eye contact while she rubbed her neck.  Tattletale went on, “You don’t feel like you did anything wrong, and if you had another chance to do things over, you feel like you’d do everything the same way… yet people are pissed at you.” Bitch met Tattletale’s eyes.  Her tone was a combination of irritation and boredom, “And people are taking turns chewing me out and spewing psychobabble shit at me.”

oh ffs Rachel.

And yet, okay, yeah, I can respect why that shit pisses her off too, tbf. But still, christ on a bike, she's a bitch, and not in the fun way a character can be a bitch and still be likeable.

I imagine it's possible she'll grow on me if she grows on Taylor, since we do have to remember we're getting all things through the lens of Taylor (who doesn't really like Rachel much either at this point, far as I can tell), but equally, I just think she's just the opposite of a blorbo for me. I want to put her in the Horse Plink forever, or w/e.

I knew it would be hard to turn on them, to pull off that grand betrayal and turn their information over to the Protectorate, once I had the information I needed… but when I thought on it, I knew I could bite the bullet and do it.  I would have less regrets in the long run.  I could even be proud of it, in the grand scheme of things, maybe. More and more, I was seeing the day I turned that information over and said goodbye to the Undersiders as the day I wanted to transform myself.  Start transforming Skitter into a hero in the public eye, doing what I could to repair my image, and redefining Taylor into someone confident and outgoing and brave.  If I could cut ties with the Undersiders and take that plunge, I knew I could change myself. But, strange as it sounded, I would feel worse about handing their information to the Protectorate if this sort of negativity was what I was leaving behind when I did it.  I knew it made no sense, but I wanted to be able to tell myself I’d had one successful set of friendships, before I severed ties for the sake of doing the right thing.  I could only hope that the sore feelings would fade.  Even when I’d had friends, it had just been me and Emma.  I didn’t have enough experience to really know one way or the other, as far as how groups of friends handled these sorts of sore feelings and resentment.  It sucked.

Yeah, it's fucking weird that the idea that she'd actually leave the Undersiders worse off like this would upset her, but given everything it does track. And it's probably just the start of further rationalizations 'I need to make this friendship thing work right before I turn on them, right' and 'just a little longer' and 'just a little longer' and then boom.

I'd be very curious about the planning - was Taylor being friendless the part that came first and then her being so eager to glom onto the Undersiders, etc, what came from that, or (more likely, I'd assume) Wildbow needed a reason for this character who wants to be a hero at the start, and - throughout her entire run as a villain - who does want to help people and protect innocent people and so forth, to join the villains and then not turn on them, and giving her such a shitty fucking civilian life was the solution?

Probably a bit of a chicken and egg, but there is the anecdote that Saruman exists just because Tolkein needed a reason Gandalf couldn't meet Frodo in that one town whose name escapes me but had the Prancing Pony Inn.

[mxbbadperson]

First 8 episodes for Keiwa? When said ep. 8 is the part when the show display Keiwa being the one in the wrong for showing lack of empathy to people's motivation and throwing a tantrum over people rejecting his strategy. Obviously Keiwa's "saving the world" talk means to them if someone objects to his plan, then they'd be bashed for being too self-absorbed or something, even though, rejecting his plan doesn't mean leaving people to die as they'd face the final boss with different strategy.

Seems that it never occurs to people that, Keiwa isn't the only Rider that gives a shit about civilians, like Neon helps almost as much as Keiwa does. Dunno if it's based on that scene or not. Maybe because their wish is personal thus they'd twist everything good they do as done for ulterior motives like Buffa to Shirowe.

Keiwa being viewed as someone with no development as he can't be better, but shapes those around him and affect them, acting as anchor. Dunno if people'd think those other Riders doing good would be credited to "Keiwa and his influence" or such (well, tbf it does happen in previous battle royale Rider season where it was about the main Rider rubbing off other terrible Riders).

yeah, keiwa /was/ being self-absorbed there but see, that's the very first instance we see of it. before that keiwa just comes off as "naive but he's a nice guy!! 🥺" you know? that was the first crack and could be easily missed bc as we've seen w/ previous anons, that got uh "overshadowed" by ace lying to him

and yes, neon did try to help civilians as well. it was in hm... ep15 i think? when ace was eliminated and neon, keiwa and michinaga faced another fortress jyamato and keiwa said "help civilians!" and michinaga said "defeat the boss and win!" and neon cut in "we can do both!"

and i think that's what's missing from their perspective, the wishes are all selfish! even keiwa's wish that's good for others, it's still selfish! it's just selfish in a way that isn't immediately obvious. and yeah, of course people would be selfish, have personal wishes, bc that's what the dgp WANTS, they're not gonna dangle a world altering wish in front of people if they're hungry enough for it? do reality tv shows work if the people aren't selfish and hungry for fame or money? lmfao

if keiwa has no development... that's a lie. he's just an normal person who needs poking and prodding and makes mistakes before he finds himself and settles on what he wants to do. on one hand, it sucked that sara died. but on the other, there's no one else who could have died to kick start his development. and it's a development keiwa needed so he can take a look at himself

keiwa sees himself. but not completely. (he's like michinaga that way) and his bad guy arc helped him w/ that!

and while keiwa DID help people in some way, comforting neon through her zombiefication and called her his friend and through him, she met sara, took old man's place and saved those food bank kids (there might be other stuff too but i forgot) what people are missing is that it's ACE that's rubbed off on people the most

ace was the one that gave neon a chance to beat her zombiefication, encouraged keiwa several times!! is the one that chipped away at michinaga when he teamed up w/ sheepman and in the arcs after, the one who told keiwa to believe!! but that would mean admitting that ace has done something. but that's like... really hard apparently?? lol

[onewomancitadel]

me: so proud of myself for identifying something interesting

also me: does any of this make fucking sense

I'm working on it ok.

There's a point here too which is that you can't really talk about the so-called acceptability of a character's actions without context, and I don't mean that in a morally relativistic way, I mean in terms of what the narrative condones/rewards and what it's trying to say... objectively Cinder killing Pyrrha is wrong, but its narrative consequences and scope is meaningful and so is the way she did it (and so is the fact that Ruby awakened her silver eyes...)

In the short-term we're treated to Cinder receiving the Dark Curse as a consequence to it (which Salem blames on Ruby, obfuscating the true villain at hand and directing Cinder's anger away from her and putting together this is just another collar) but the long-term consequence to Cinder's villainy is still up in the air. I think that's why it's kind of naïve to think another short-term consequence to Pyrrha (e.g. killing Cinder out of revenge, already discarded as an option in V5) is still on the cards. That's already been dealt with it and its dealing with the more epic scope of who she is and how she impacts the story lol.

Demonstrably here we have the conflict between the in- and out-of-universe analysis but it's no surprise that Cinder goes downhill emotionally after Pyrrha (because she can't be rewarded for it even if she's the Fall Maiden, she's not acting on that responsibility as properly as she should yet) and this is why I really hate the way fandom muddies talking about this stuff because you just have idiots repeating 'Cinder is bad at being a villain' and they all just believe it unironically without thinking about it any further (tbf I think beyond the narrative punishment she's not precisely that bad but whatever).

I don't know, I think what I'm limited by here too is that if you're an ostensible Cinder fan, you don't want to think about narrative punishment, and that makes the discourse complicated too because it's us vs. them, people who want to see Cinder hurt and those who don't, kind of? It's really bizarre. Or if you describe the punishment like the Dark Curse (which to me IS working on the level of a Pyrrha punishment, so to speak, but is also that continual representation of her Cursed Enslavement) you have to tip-toe around the ugly and depressing matter of her backstory. It's possible to hold both her victimhood and villainy in both hands, because her pain is expressed as her villainy, and whether you redeem her or not explains a lot about your narrative ethics. Can you save everyone?

But interestingly I think the conversation is already all past Pyrrha, ironic to what I've outlined here - you'll have to forgive me since this is a frequent point that comes up in conversation, comments, asks, etc. - and hopefully my point about Cinder already having received symbolic punishment makes sense. At the very least even if I'm not 'right', I'm glad to look at the story in a different way and see something more interesting and organic that's there and seems kind of self-evident. If you can read a relationship between Ruby's silver eyes and Cinder's Dark Curse - that is, the same event 'unlocks' both, and Ruby's SE are in truth a balm for Cinder's Dark Curse - and Ruby's SE is a consequence of her love, care, and the loss of her innocence, then equally Cinder's Dark Curse (Grimm Arm) can be read a similar way. That is more interesting to me.

What's even more interesting is that the inciting event that condemns Cinder is, as I've said before, the thing that links her to Jaune - and Ruby, symbolically.

This is a post about romance that became about Cinder, don't look at me. Lol. Soz for the long post, it didn't quite feel right to post on its own because it's all on the same topic, but maybe I should have...

Of course everything I've said here is highly dependent upon the actual endgame, and this is the issue (and joy) of analysing works-in-progress... on the other hand I really enjoy the opportunity to step away from mainstream fandom interpretation to think about something in a more intuitive way.

The tonal and thematic handling of it is really, really interesting to me... so many have talked about Cinder being too far gone as if her story were already concluded, and so I find myself making too many posts about it, lol.

I recall once remarking that people talk about Knightfall as if Cinder maimed and killed Pyrrha right in front of Jaune and made him watch, crying (Ruby watched and cried, but it wasn't quite maiming), and then I realised that there is, quite literally, another ETL ship actually just like that that if I mentioned specifically would be unfair to mention since they're making a TV adaptation of it and it's spoilers.

I don't feel one way or another about it but it did make me lulz forreal. Ofc if Cinder were actually like that in R/WBY canon, I think it would certainly make the pairing out of the question, but tone and context is everything; that's why being precise matters.

[ballorawan740]

SCP Scenarios: When they get scared by the reader (REQUESTED)

Main Masterlist | SCP Scenarios Masterlist | My Works Masterlist | Rules | Request | Socials | My Original Post

Requested by: @_Milla_7849_

SCP 073 (Cain)

I feel like Cain normally wouldn't be scared

Like if you made him watch a horror movie, he might flinch slightly but wouldn't be terrified of it

So when you try to scare him like a prank sort of way, he would flinch a little more than usual but would recover seconds later

Like that one time when he was alone walking down the hallway looking zoned out since he was thinking of something

And you just crept up to him like the sneaky little child you are and jumped onto his back

He did get a load yelp but realised it was you

Luckily for you, Cain didn't give you a lecture like before and actually laughed with you

However, if you were kidnapped or taken hostage or used for an experiment, it would obviously frighten him and he wouldn't forgive himself

So to prevent this, he would keep you within his line of sight at all times

Anyways, as I've mentioned before, Cain would probably also give you a tight hug after your little stunt and unbeknownst to him, the researchers recorded it for a laugh

Cain did give you a lecture but forgave you since you were so young and he couldn't resist those eyes

And the researchers did give you some sweets

SCP 076-2 (Abel)

Now, a warrior like Abel wouldn't be so easily frightened

Especially if it was a child, even more so if it's you since he knows you too well and has personally trained you from the age of 5

Basically, Abel would notice your movement and body language well since you're both stuck together

So you have devices a plan with your scientist friends to try and scare him

And yes, it's working

Because Abel got extremely distracted by Iris

Iris basically got yahooted into this mess and was told to wear a lingerie

Yes, you did scare him by shoving him into Iris

I wouldn't say he got a scare, but more like a surprise

Poor girl she just wanted to sleep

SCP 999 (Tickle Monster) 999 would most likely be scared the easiest out of everyone on this list

Aside from Glass

He's like a close second

Back to 999, you both were just chilling and wandering around the facility aimlessly

Because yall are boring (TBF you're both trapped in this giant mf blop of a building)

Anyways, let's just say that it was Bright and Clef who introduced you to the world of pranks and you guys thought it would be funny to scare our 999 here

Basically, yall decided to play dead and then pretend to turn into zombies with some makeup

Yes, it did work since you've managed to scare the living daylights out of 999

And he was about to have a cardiac arrest (if he even has a biological heart)

And yes, it almost ended in another breach

And 999 did give you a lecture on how to not scare people like that

He does sound like a grandpa though XD

SCP 682 (Hard to Destroy Reptile)

I would say that scaring 682 would be difficult, but I won't since he's already terrified of that rabbit

You, along with the other researchers, thought it'll be fun to pull a prank on 682 in form of a magic trick

It's a classic rabbit in the hat trick and yes, you did pull SCP 524 out of the hat

But, little did your tiny brain know, that rabbit basically eats everything, including itself

So you just watched 524 approaches the already terrified 682 and nibble on his feet

And yes, you and the other researchers laughed hard since he crawled up the wall to get away from the rabbit (I'm now officially adopting 524 as my other pet)

Sadly, 524 didn't stay for long since another doctor needed him for a test with Josie (yes, the cat)

682 basically shouted at you for doing such a thing on him, your dad

But you ignored him anyways since you knew he never meant what he said and he wouldn't be mad at you for long

SCP 049 (Plague Doctor)

Our bird boy here is pretty much neutral when it comes to being scared

Like, he can be quite unfazed by many things, so it's no surprise if you or any other SCPs tried to jump on him

So as part of an experiment, you and your friends had decided that you would try to play dead and see if 049 would be terrified

Well, 049 was somewhat concerned and when you carried on playing dead, he became scared since you weren't so conscious, or so he thought

Since you played dead extremely well for such a young child, he tried to see if he could fix you

And before he could do anything, you jumped up at him like Bonnie from FNAF

Yes, he looked like he jumped out of his skin and was so stunned that he just sat in the corner with his head down for an hour

You all had to check up on him and he said he was 'fine'

He wasn't

049 gave you a lecture about playing dead like that unless there's a dangerous SCP

SCP 035 (Possessive Mask)

Now, since 035 is a mask and is very much a master manipulator and an award-winning actor/actress, you would most likely be able to take on those traits from him

When you were younger, you were eager to learn from 035, who you see as not only your best friend but also an idol, so he taught you everything he could

As you got older, you've gotten better at manipulation and acting, so much so that even 035 couldn't tell if you were just being you from time to time

So one day, you've decided to prank your dad because you were hella bored (like you always are :((( cuz yall never be productive and just sit on your flat bum all day and watch YouTube, Netflix or play games then sleep)

You basically produced a fake body of yourself and wrapped it in a black bag and sent it to 035's cell

Then, you've got one of your researcher buddies to write a note of your passing and that you do love him very much

035 did receive the message and made sure that there was a dead body in the package

He was pretty much convinced that it was you since you were able to disguise the fake body like bone and flesh

Which of course scared him to death because he was about to attack everyone on site

Luckily you got there on time to stop him which freaked him out and yes, you've gotten a lecture about being such a prankster (You got grounded for life but that didn't stop a rebellious child like you)

At least everyone at the facility has gotten a laugh about it for the next 3 months

SCP 105 (Iris)

Pranking Iris wouldn't be hard, but that doesn't mean she's fazed, but not in a sense like 049 who wouldn't get a good scare from some SCPs which could do him harm

Iris is very much a self-aware and open-minded individual who has common sense (unlike you, who don't even move out of your bed or even use your non-existent brain cells)

She's very much like every other person you'll meet on the streets who wouldn't just believe the first thing that she hears since she is very much a rational person

So, if you want to devise a plan to scare her, it'll have to blend in with everything or be quiet out there with realistic effects

You'll have to use your head to think of a good prank to scare her, which you did since you've inherited her intelligence (that's a lie because you don't have any intelligence left in you)

As her child, you have decided to prank her by making her a fake copy of her camera but instead of her being able to control objects within the photo, she would end up destroying it

You gave it to her as a gift and she accepted it with suspicion since you don't normally get her anything and encouraged her to try it (you're such an ungrateful child)

Cain, Dr Glass, Dr Kondraki and a couple of others wanted to see as well, so they stayed and watch

Much to everyone's horror, the illusion camera did exactly how you designed it to and Iris was furious and saddened

Later on, you told her about the prank since you feel bad and she was extremely mad

So instead of grounding or lecturing you, she decided to have revenge

SCP 106 (Old Man)

Now, scaring this old man would be rather interesting because he doesn't seem too fazed by the other, more dangerous and unpredictable, SCPs

But, you can still scare him to a certain degree

I mean, he is an old man after all, so scaring him would be fun

As long as you don't give him a heart attack then it's fine I guess (cuz yall be evil for scaring such an old man)

So, you have decided to scare 106 by giving off little bits of harmless pranks at first so 106 would let his guard down for a moment

Like, giving him a box full of spiders (he's quite disgusted by them just like how he sees your face every time) and popping an air-filled bag (Don't lie, you've all done it and it's hella fun)

Later on, you would gradually move to play with the more dangerous things, such as getting him to look at a picture of 096's face (Probs ugly like yo-)

As time moved on, 106 seemed to be relaxed and expected you to bring him random things and soon realised that there was something off

You didn't show up to him for almost a week and he was ready to get his dad mode on

Luckily, some of the guards caught you with Abel and got 106 involved since they were afraid of causing a massive breach

106 panicked and picked you up, giving you a lecture on how you shouldn't be with other SCPs like Abel

You managed to tell him that you've befriended Abel and he was stunned and gave him the dad glare (you know the one where dads would give to warn others to not hurt their kids right?)

And because it's Abel, he would even make sure to be with you whenever you were with him which made it difficult for you to play with Abel because he might steal you away (Yes I'm looking at you right now kiddo, don't play with Abel)

So in conclusion, if the prank involves you being in a dangerous position, he wouldn't necessarily be scared but would start to panic about your safety

SCP 096 (Shy Guy)

I think 096 would be similar to 106 in a sense but less logical and unfazed

It's more like he would be pretty panicky every time you weren't there with him and his anxiety would act up (like you every time you're preparing for your exams where you didn't even revise)

Like if you were with Safe class SCPs, he would be more relaxed than you being with a Euclid class, but it kinda depends on who it is

If it was Cain then it would be fine, but if you were to be with 173, he would be quite wary at first and would tell you to try and avoid being with that peanut

So if you wanted to scare him, it wouldn't be too hard

All you had to do was to be with another Keter class SCPs and play with them

He would be extremely cautious and terrified if you were with one and knowing this, you've decided that playing with 682 instead of playing with Walter the rabbit (SCP 524 | He's my other pet), you've decided to go up and pet 682

When 096 got a hold on the commission on you being with that lizard, he ran out of his cell, causing a huge containment breach on the way like he's bulletproof, and went yeehaw with 682

All you did was sit there in confusion as they entertained you with some pole dancing

Basically, if you scare 096, he would go from anxious to paranoid to berserk then to we're all going down to hell and back again

Dr Jack bright

This mf right here is unpredictable af

Like in his own body, he would remain unfazed and would even go as far as pranking you back

I mean he still would act all fun and games but since he can possess multiple bodies, the outcome of him being scared would vary which would surprise him too since he wouldn't know

Unless he decided to possess someone he knows well, but he knows better than to do that

Dr Bright would most notably be scared, like everybody else on the list, if you were to put yourself in immediate danger, but since you were just as crazy as your dad, he would most likely go along with it until you deliver your prank

Like, you could be juggling knives while standing on top of 682's head while singing 'Painted Smile' by Madam Macabre (If you haven't heard it, you should, it's amazing)

Also, he would sometimes find you having your back faced towards peanut and still be fine after having your neck being snapped (Yall be like surprise mf)

Anyways, one time Jack had made a promise to you to meet you at a certain place and he was late

So you stormed into his office (like the entitled little nugget you are) and went 'tick-tock mf' to your dad

Well it worked and you showed him your trick with the Keter classes

By causing a containment breach and somehow you managed to bribe the Keter classes to perform with you

Let's just say that just because you've inherited his craziness doesn't mean that you could go as far as doing this prank

Bright was about to drop dead from a heart attack and he banned you from doing such things in the future

Dr Simon Glass

With Simon Glass, you could give him a fright relatively easily

Just because he's a psychologist and can read people rather well, he still would be terrified and paranoid about whatever you were planning on doing

Even if he told you not to

Like that time when you were told to not make toast because you can't cook and you almost burnt the whole facility and Glass stood there and said "I told you so" (he did ask for toast, as in toasted bread, not toasted humans)

Anyways, being the child of Simon Glass meant that you would learn a lot about the human mind and behaviour

He would teach you everything you were curious about and would sometimes ask Diogenes, Light, Kondraki, Cain and Iris to help teach you the things he wouldn't have much knowledge on

And sometimes Clef and Bright would appear and spoil you (not that Glass doesn't, he's just busy and trying to be the best dad he could by being anxious about you being alone in the facility with so many dangerous SCPs)

So this often meant that you, Bright and Clef would pull pranks on each other, usually on Kondraki and Iris

Except for this time, you've decided to pull a prank on your dad, Dr Glass

You've handed him over a realistic model of SCP 058 and he freaked out and called the MTFs

They've checked the model and realised that it was all fake and poor Simon had a heart attack from you

Simon was about to yeet that spider looking thing but it was able to move so he planned to carry you and yeet you both out

He did give you a lecture on doing that stunt and you did shed a few crocodile tears

And yes, Glass gave in and comforted you

He then went to grab Clef and Bright's ears and lectured them about helping you make the prank

Dr Alto Clef

I feel like Clef would be similar to Bright but without the whole process of changing bodies because of some curse

Like Clef wouldn't be all that scared since he's dealt with SCPsbefore and dies an extremely good job at it

So for Clef to be scarred for life, it'll either be an extremely dangerous SCP, he's drunk and/or high, he must care about you a lot and you must've been out of your mind to do something seriously stupid or you're evil enough to piss off a Simon Glass (Or all of the above if you're evil enough)

You would most likely want to take the easier and quicker route out of all the ones mentioned on the list which is to put yourself in an immediate danger

So you had asked Dr Bright for some help and so he did

Moments later, midway through preparing your prank, Clef came to Bright asking if he saw you and he did

However, they heard a familiar scream from down the hallway and they both rushed to your aid and soon realised that it's you

You were about to get eaten by 939 and they had to signal for the MTFs to help (Because you mfs didn't ask me for permission when you wanted to pet 939 D:<)

Clef gave you a big lecture and comforted you after he cooled down

Bright on the other hand wasn't so lucky as Clef wanted to murder him (But in his defence, you didn't tell Bright how dangerous the prank was cuz yall are as stubborn as a rock)

Dr Benjamin Kondraki

Kondraki would be pretty much average when it comes to being scared but with a little more logical since he works with the Foundation

He's that type of dad who would let you go to sleepovers every now and again as long as they weren't of the opposite gender (Unless yall are Bi, Gay, Lesbian, Pan, Alien, Basketball etc then he's screwed)

We support BLM and LGBTQ+ in this community and anyone who says otherwise must leave now

Heck, even our friends here, especially Kondraki, Glass, Bright, 999, Cain, Iris and Josie (SCP 529, my new pet) supports them

Anyways, back to the main plot

Depending on what age you're at and whether you were planning to prank him with the Foundation staff or SCPs will lead to a different outcome

Like if you told him you were dating someone he would've died right there and then

No dating until you're 50

Anyhow, you've decided that it'll be funny to scare your dad with Clef and Bright by getting his Bootyflies to shapeshift into various Keter class SCPs and acting like it

And yes, you somehow managed to persuade the Bootiflies to do just that

And no, Kondraki didn't know about this even though he found it odd that his bootiflies didn't obey him that day

You got Kondraki to sit down in a room with Clef while you and Bright was setting up everything

The bootyflies shifted into the Scarlet King and boy sis Kondraki called the MTFs and was boutta shoot him

Everyone in the room had to get him to stop and that it was just a prank (And by everyone I mean just you, Bright and Clef)

Kondraki did manage to stop and was boutta drag you out for a big girl/boy lecture

Well, he did but not before kicked Bright and Clef in their privates first

Needless to say, nobody wanted to prank Kondraki again (Shush, no you don't, yes I'm looking at you from behind the screen and I know that you'll do it again)

[swanqueensalad]

TRIGGER WARNING

"i think it's also implied in the regina rising book that cora was controlling/restrictive of regina's food to ensure she stayed thin/attractive which is just a whole other can of worms"

You say. Please open the can of worms!

ok so again, TRIGGER WARNING for talk of disordered eating and everything that goes along with it. if that might trigger you please scroll past!!

some of you may know, i've always headcanoned regina as having a difficult relationship to food, and recently i've found a few other people that share these views (mostly through my fic after the end which deals with this subject)

and yes this is partially because i project on regina but i do also think it makes sense and there are grounds for it in canon

like i said, the regina rising book. tbf i only read it once and that was a long time ago, so i don't remember too well, but i'm pretty sure there's a scene at afternoon tea where regina reaches for a biscuit and cora slaps her hand and tells her she's had enough

note that regina is sixteen at this point. sixteen. she is a child at an age where her body would be naturally developing/fluctuating.

i also remember cora buying regina things that were too small and telling her 'it is you who is the wrong size' or something to that effect which is... a lot

also before a ball she magically changes regina's favourite dress she chose to one that's more kinda sexy?? which is just. wow i have so much anger at cora mills this woman should not have been allowed to be a parent. regina was SIXTEEN and cora was actively presenting her in a sexualised way for potential suitors.

so yeah, we can assume that cora restricted regina's food intake with the very obvious intention of controlling her weight. she also openly criticised the way regina looked, made her feel like she was was neither pretty enough or thin enough (ugh) and all with the intention of presenting her as a sexual object for powerful men

did i mention cora makes me furious???

so from all this, my personal interpretation is that cora had regina eating a restricted diet from the time she was considered a 'young lady' and sowed a lot of really harmful seeds in her mind about what she looked like.

and affection-starved 16 year old regina was just desperate to please her mother, so she would have most likely bought into this, internalised it completely, probably developed restrictive habits and harmful thought patterns of her own. also it does become a coping mechanism. and this poor girl had so much to cope with

it would not have improved with her marriage either - regina was unpopular and ignored in leopold's court, considered a poor comparison to their beloved eva - but there would have been even more pressure to be 'beautiful' because of this, and just because she was the queen. it's obvious leopold married her yes for snow, but also because she's young and pretty.

at this point in her life beauty was all she had to survive. any allies she had - the genie is a prime example - she had because they were attracted to her.

even as the evil queen, it's safe to assume at least some of her power and hold over kings/soldiers/allies was because of her beauty. and again, this was regina at her darkest and most self-loathing, so it just seems a given that she would be punishing/hurting herself/making herself feel good in whatever way she could

even as mayor, while i don't think it was that bad, it's clear regina still puts a lot of value on how she looks: she'll wear tight designer dresses and heels to go fight monsters, she always has a full face of makeup and perfect hair and while yes i do think a lot of this is just her personality/character, and a lot of it is because she finds it empowering and fun and it makes her feel like herself, i think those issues are still underneath in a more minor way.

i think in storybrooke it's less of a full on eating disorder and more just... that she really is susceptible to diet culture/'good' and 'bad' foods and often turning down greasy food/takeaway/bread and such like

but you know i think help with this?

emma. and henry.

henry, because in making sure he is well fed and looked after, regina often ends up nourishing herself as well. and emma, because she does pick up on these slight things - because she's so perceptive and she can read regina like a book - and she just gradually starts to help, making cooking dinner a more fun and carefree family activity, encouraging her to try things from emma's plate, taking her out to new restaurants. and of course, comforting her when she's insecure.

emma is very good at making regina feel loved, safe, worthy and beautiful

there see i ended it on a soft happy note

[mindibindi]

Beyond disappointed in Ted Lasso. What were they thinking?!

The writing is a complete betrayal and insult to Rebecca’s character and Hannah’s skills as they’re being seriously underused. It’s also insulting Sam’s character.

Hoping someone pulls Rebecca’s head out of her ass tbh. Sam shouldn’t be getting caught in the crossfire of her looking for romance. I know he showed up at her doorstep but she still should’ve turned him away, and not even messaged him in the first place.

Hey, I'm with you, Anon, though we do seem to be in the minority. Sam is definitely not blameless here, he is also in the wrong. But if one of them is more in the wrong, it is Rebecca. I can't speak to whether her head has left her arse as yet because I have quit watching (at least for now). I hear she called it off with Sam in the most recent ep, though not because of any major crisis of conscience or because anyone in her inner circle expressed any reasonable reservations in response to her bad behaviour. And to be honest, I'm not sure we should need to hope and pray that Rebecca's precocious god-daughter, her slimy ex-husband, or the brutal British press will act as a moral compass on this ill-advised relationship. Both Rupert and the press have been set up to some extent as the villains of the piece. And a 14 year old should never have to school her elders on what is and isn't acceptable. Nora's needs have already been neglected by Rebecca for far too long.

If a moral position is to be taken on this, it needs to be taken by the show (because stance matters) and/or by its characters. But the show has for the most part depicted this relationship as ill-advised but ultimately hot, sweet, funny and romantic. As for the characters themselves, Sam has shown at least once that he has some moral backbone but seems to be adorably clueless when it comes to fucking his boss who keeps trying to set boundaries with him. Meanwhile, Rebecca's whole arc in s1 was about learning not to misuse her power for her own selfish ends. In season one, she misused her power within the club in order to exact revenge. In season 2, we have seen her misuse her sexual power, though I still cannot see to what end. I'm a bit at a loss as to what exactly she gets out of this 'relationship' but then I'm a grown woman so I have absolutely no interest in sleeping with a Harry Potter enthusiast barely out of his teens. I couldn't think of anything less sexy and more ick. I was certainly hoping for better character development for her this season.

As to what the writers were thinking, obviously I was not in the writer's room, but I would guess that they were thinking that any drama is good drama, people are stupid and fan devotion will trump any meaningful critique. In other words, they were thinking exactly how every other television writer thinks, despite the fact that this show posited itself as 'not like other TV shows'. This, to me, is where the blame really lies. Not with the characters or with the actors who are doing their best to sell this ludicrous turn of events. It must be noted, however, that both actors were completely blindsided by this relationship that had supposedly been so cleverly foreshadowed. Newsflash: if the people actually living these stories did not see this coming then you haven't foreshadowed shit. Sure, there were a handful of people that paired Rebecca with Sam but this does not constitute proof either. Fans have free-range to imagine and re-imagine characters. In some cases this may extend to imagining relationships between characters who have barely, if ever, interacted. There may be little to no evidence that these characters have even clocked each other's existence and some fans will still ship it. The existence of a handful of shippers does not legitimise such a problematic and divisive plotline making it onscreen.

But wait!, you might argue, this may not be a case of a popular show seeing just how far they can stretch fan devotion. This may not be a case of fan service to a handful of shippers. After all, the creators mapped out the entire three-season arc of Ted Lasso before they even pitched it to Apple. This was their brilliant plan all along! To which I would say: then maybe they should've rethought their second act based on people's strong reactions to their first. Ted Lasso was touted as the show we all needed in 2020. The writers and creators have all marveled at the chord it struck considering it was conceived prior to the pandemic and all the chaos it wrought. And while there is something to be said for having/sticking to a creative vision, there is also something to be said for being flexible and responsive to your audience and the cultural zeitgeist with which you're engaged. Season 1 of Ted Lasso told its story so gently, without creating distrust, division or unnecessary anxiety. It did not treat its audience like a gaggle of stupid lemmings to be led over a succession of narrative cliffs. THIS is what I mean when I say the show has broken with its brand. And look, this whole dark forest thing would be okay if the narrative arc was as well-crafted as s1. Season 1 gave us meaning, cohesion, comfort, sense in a senseless time. It was an almost perfectly crafted season of television. And I kept the faith for 6 episodes, despite the first half of s2 being pretty damn wobbly. But the follow-up to this stellar debut has been less than extraordinary so yeah, perhaps they should've thought a little harder about what made s1 so special before throwing it all out the window.

But wait!, I hear the faithful say, you don't know how things will pan out yet! Wait until the season is over and everything will make sense! But -- wearily and once again, I say -- we should not need to wait until the end of the season to understand what the hell is happening. By this point (over halfway through the season and show) we should have a v clear idea of the show's themes and the characters' arcs. And tbf, from what I can tell there are some fab things happening in other aspects of the show that I wish I could watch and enjoy. But my biggest fear at this point is that they are going to use Sam to solve Rebecca's childlessness. That, like Rupert (because the parallel cannot be avoided), she will become pregnant with a young fling and the show's attitude to this relationship will ultimately be: oh well, it was a bad idea and didn't work out for them but it was all for the best in the end cos who can be mad about a cute lil baaaayyybbbeeee??!! If they do go down this path then I will definitely be abstaining from the rest of the show. I will simply recall my repeated viewings of s1 with fondness tinged with regret at just how badly they fucked up a good thing.

Ultimately, Anon, I think this may be a case of there simply not being a diverse enough perspective in the writer's room. I am not saying that every single woman or every single person of colour will necessarily object to this relationship. I am simply saying that women and people of colour will be more sensitive to the issues of gender and race that are relevant here but that have not been fully or sensitively acknowledged in the writing of this plotline. Neither am I saying that Rebecca is the first woman to sleep with a man much (much, much, MUCH) younger than herself or indulge in an ill-advised relationship. But the comparison with Rupert both works here and doesn't because Rebecca is not being written like a white woman, she is being written like a white man. Realistically, only a white man can engage in this kind of hugely imbalanced relationship seemingly without any major moral qualms or societal ramifications. Not to put too fine a point on it, but this kind of relationship is reserved for all the Bills and Joes and Brendans and Jasons out there -- not for the Rebeccas and definitely not for the Sams. We are way beyond the point in feminism where we believe that liberation is simply the right for a white woman to behave as badly as a white man. The truth is that whatever wealth, power and privilege Rebecca has, the rules are different for men and women. She will not be treated the same as Rupert if and when this affair is uncovered. She will be treated far more savagely than Rupert ever was and Sam will be treated far more savagely than Bex was. This is not an argument for the equal treatment of these two relationships. It is an argument against how the relationship between Rebecca and Sam has been envisaged, i.e. through the wrong perspective. In writing from a 'neutral' white male pov, the show has invisiblised all the many issues activated by this storyline and revealed a blindspot that was always there.

As much as I loved and still love season 1 of this show, it has definite blindspots when it comes to representations of race and gender. There are at least two moments in s1 that stand out for me as being so obviously written by a man. Not necessarily because of what they do but because of what they don't do: what is missed, absent, unacknowledged. I was willing to overlook such minor failings in a debut season for many reasons. But s2 seems to have exacerbated these minor flaws rather than correcting them. And here I can't help thinking of Tina Fey speaking of the diversification of the writer's room at SNL during her tenure as co-headwriter. This notoriously male-dominated environment only began to shift and produce better work when a greater diversity of minds, voices and persepectives was allowed in the room. In this richer environment, she notes, different jokes played differently. Different sketches made it to air. Different perspectives were represented and different performers were celebrated. I can't help wondering if this plotline would have made it to air if there had been a female writer, a writer of colour or both further up the chain of command to challenge the ideas of the straight white dudes in charge.

One of the reasons I didn't think Ted Lasso was for me was that it centred a straight, white, cis-het, able-bodied man who rose to a position he didn't earn. That is just not a pov I would normally choose for myself, especially now that there is such a rich array of alternative perspectives through which to view the world. But I think the show won a lot of females fans with its first season largely due to its portrayal of Rebecca. She is the first person we meet. She is arguably the protagonist of s1. And while she would have been figured as a villain in previous pieces, the show never took that stance with her (because again, stance matters). Other elements like the depiction of female friendships, all centred around Rebecca, made this show female-friendly viewing. But imo, the major reason this show won over female fans (this one, at least) is because, in this post-MeToo, post-TimesUp era, it stood up and said: domestic violence is not okay, we stand with women and all victims of abuse, we will defend you, we know words can hurt, we know it can happen to anyone, we know all about toxic masculinity, we do not take this lightly and we will support you in your healing. Needless to say, this is how women hope men will act when they speak of their most difficult experiences but it is not how they always do.

The shift away from Rebecca this season has however meant that the white male experience is more centred than it was in s1. Rebecca's journey to recovery, health and happiness has been trivialised and sidelined, reduced to a highly questionable sexcapade. Meanwhile, we get overwrought manpain at every turn. We get Beard wandering around London (no, I haven't seen it and no, I don't need to. We've all been raised on white dudes thinking they're genuises when they have a figurative wank all over our screens). We get NO queer represention at all. And the only other female characters on screen are in care/service roles to men. The father/son, mentoring and toxic masculinity themes are all still there but they're no longer balanced out by ANY other competing perspective. One of the reasons I was okay with Ted failing upwards in s1 was that he used his power and privilege to lift up others. He was the one in service. He used his enormous privilege for good, as anyone with such privilege must. (Admittedly, it could be argued that this is just another version of a white savior narrative).

My point here is that I'm not sure that peeking behind the mask at the sad clown is as revolutionary as some might believe. We love it because it's familiar. But this is a narrative with a long and problematic history. Do I believe in tearing down toxic masculinity in all its forms? You bet. Do I believe that patriarchy traumatises men as well as women and every other minority in existence? I mean...nowhere near as much, but absolutely. Do I believe in men expressing their feelings and going to therapy? Wholeheartedly. But I am also aware that 100 or so years ago, we were in a very similar place with our narratives. Everyone is looking for a recapitulation of modernism and frankly, this might be an indicator of just that. Whenever women and people of colour have demanded rights and recognition, there has always been a resurgence of tales about just how frickin' hard it is to be a white man. Minority genders and non-white people have never in western history been as visible or vocal as they are now. So forgive me (or don't, I don't care) if I critique a show not only for centering fathers, sons, boys and men but for blindly and boldly writing one of its only female characters and one of its only black characters as if their gender and race just do not exist. There are many other power differentials at play in this relationship, including age, experience, wealth and position, but race and gender are the two that patriarchy is most invested in invisiblising. So I don't care how brilliant they think they are, I will not trust the writing of a bunch of white dudes trying to tell me that race and gender are irrelevant.

[arty-e]

My Tudors series ‘review

Y’all asked for this so here comes my rant review about the Tudors:

TW: Rape mentions

First things first let’s address the biggest elephant in the room and that is the costumes. Holy shit series 1 was fucking painful with the costumes. At least they got the basic dress shape for the women but other than that the women costumes were painful to look at. The headdresses were the biggest crime of them all. There were no French hoods, at least no accurate French hoods. Also why were there so many sequences! What was going on with all that glitter!! Don’t get me started on the hair! One lady in waiting (Joan Bulmer) had a fucking bob! A bob! The men costumes weren’t great at the beginning but as the series went on they did improve quite a lot. I’m gonna give credit where credit is due and say it did improve as the series went on as a whole (but not by a lot).

Now that we’ve got the costumes complaints out the way lets actually talk about the ‘contents’ of the series. First of all why the fuck was Charles Brandon such a big deal in this?! He wasn’t as important as the series implied him to be. I feel they only added him so that there was a consistent character through out the show and who was at least a little likeable (tbf on Tudors the main people who played a part in actual Tudor history were often executed or removed at some point).

On the subject of Charles Brandon they did get one thing right; he did marry one of Henry’s sisters, Mary Tudor. However in the series he married Margaret Tudor which made no sense at all! It appears to me that they merged the two sisters together and merge I mean they had the Mary Tudor history then gave them Margret’s name. In actual history Mary Tudor married the old sickly King of France and when he died she then married Charles Brandon. However in the tudors she marries the old sickly king of Portugal???? And because she doesn’t want to remain married to him kills him????? I know why they did this because they had already showed the king of France (Francis) who was young at Field of Cloth and Gold episode so it would make little to no sense to have her marry him. But that leads into my next complaint, the timeline.

Several things in this show don’t make sense with historical context because it’s all jumbled up. A couple of examples here are Henry Fitzroy, they killed him off when he was six in this, he died when he was 17 just before Edward was born. Along with that they also made claim that the Act of Succession (the act allowed Mary and Elizabeth to become Queens after Edward) was passed before Henry had married parr. The whole reason the Act of Succession ever came to be was because Parr had helped reconcile Henry and his two daughters and pushed for him to legitimise them and be added to the line of succession after their brother. Those are just a couple of examples that stood out to me when it came to the timeline.

Also the way they Jane portrayed as an innocent type and a ‘perfect’ woman was also painful. She acts all sweet to Elizabeth when the real Jane only payed attention to Mary and called Elizabeth the Bastard.

Now for my biggest complaint; the heinous misogyny in this thing. The way they treated the female character in this was (in my opinion) worst than actual Tudor history. Women in this show were constantly objectified and the amount of sex scenes in this thing is fucking painful! Did nobody have anything better to do!? In series one they took away Anne Boleyn’s agency and made her a complete puppet of her uncle and father. Anne was a very intelligent and charismatic woman and you don’t see this at all. To be fair on Natalie Dormer she fought with the writers for Anne to be more than sex object for series 2 because she had done her own research on her and fought for Anne. By Series 2 Anne got a bit more agency but they made her somewhat cruel and failed to really show her charisma. Now alone with Anne they were unspeakably cruel for what they did to Katherine Howard. They literally called her prostitute and even an episode synopsis they out right  call her prostitute. She was an abused child and they decided to do that. Along with that they also make it look like that her claim that Francis Dereham raped her was a lie and that she was only saying to save herself. It was truly disgusting. I do appreciate them trying to strongly tell the audience that Katherine was just a child (act all excitable, have dancing around the place) but the rest of her story was handled extremely poorly.

Catherine Parr is my next big complaint. They practically stripped her of everything that made interesting and took away all achievements while married to Henry. Ive already talked about the Act of Succession so I won’t go into that again. They only briefly show her being Queen Regent while Henry is away fighting in France (they were much more focused on Henry’s war), also when she discovers that there is an arrest warrant after her she sits in her room and cries for ages until Henry comes in asking what its wrong. They took away her going to him and winning back her life from him. When Henry does forgive her he is asked by one of his servants if they shoulda top the warrant but he tells them not to all because he wants to catch Gardiner out! What bullshit is that!? They took away Catherine’s indolence and replaced with Henry out smarting his evil bishop!? Henry was too fucking thick to do!

So overall I found this so frustrating to watch from costume and historical inaccuracies to the misogynistic choices to strip the few of the most important women in English history of their agency and independence. It wasn’t the worst thing in the world but still it was really annoying. My advice is for you to watch Game of Thrones instead because then you don’t have to complain about inaccuracies because it’s all fantasy and doesn’t claim to be a historical drama. (Also Natalie Dormer is also in this)

also if you want a good Tudor drama then watch wolf hall. Costumes are amazing and its very well done (only complaint Cromwell is painted too well in it)

(Also Elizabeth needed WAY more screen time)

[wizardysseus]

i was thinking about once upon a time (abc) in bed this morning so i decided to write this list

subject to change, since awhile ago i was in the middle of season 6 when they took it off netflix and i never quite got around to picking it back up. i’m gonna finish if it kills me i promise

top 5 things about once upon a time

5. anna frozen

when ouat introduced frozen characters, most fans decided the show had jumped the shark. they were not wrong. however, it was this very thing that allowed the show to be fun again! after an excruciatingly bad season 3 (we will get to that), bringing on anna and elsa literally transported directly from their own unaltered story in cheap ass versions of their unaltered movie costumes allowed the show to let loose and do... basically whatever it wanted. this became the hallmark of the show for those who stuck with it: absolutely not making sense at all, but being fun about it. post-season-three ouat becomes a totally different soap opera from season one, but by god you are never bored.*

personally, the flashback episode where anna annoys rumpelstiltskin and gets the better of him and he’s so fucking mad about it is like top 10 episodes**

4. 2x16 “the miller’s daughter”

this episode is just another personal favorite. it exemplifies what this show was really good at when it was good, and also where everything went wrong. i think cora is a great example of a good ouat villain, i think the twist on the rumpelstiltskin story is great, i think the dramatic beats really work.

...and in typical ouat fashion, cora immediately dies and two more villains we don’t care about at all are introduced. (sonequa forgive me you know i’m in love with you but tamara was nothing. it’s not your fault.) yes we get that great scene of snow aggressively doing archery practice while listening to “bad reputation” but was it worth killing off a compelling villain just as you’d dug into her story?

3. the commitment to regina’s redemption

and lana parrilla in general. i mean i’m gay and she’s hot but the worse the show got, the more acting lana gave it. and this is just speculation, but i think lana is more comfortable with drama than with camp? because regina becomes a much more interesting character as someone conflicted and on the path to redemption than as a villain. and by god, they were gonna redeem regina.

if only she had been gay we really could have had it all.

2. rumpelstiltskin

the sweet spot with rumpelstiltskin for me was seasons one and two when he was unabashedly bastard, there was an attempt to make him sympathetic but nobody except belle actually liked him, you weren’t quite sure how much he knew, he was pulling all the strings, and he was just really fucking weird. it will surprise no one who follows this blog to hear that that is my type of wizard.

1. season one

it’s a good season. it’s a good season. there are some bad things about it, but it was extremely watchable. it was doing fairy tales with occasional disney nods in a (mostly) cohesive fashion. the lore and the magic hadn’t sprawled out of control yet. it had the strongest relationship, imo, between emma and henry, and emma and snow. as for iconic episodes, most of the greats are here, plus sebastian stan as the mad hatter and giancarlo esposito as a series regular. the crowning moment for me is the scene at the end of skin deep, when regina confronts gold in the town jail and he reveals that he remembers his real name (after beating the shit out of belle’s dad with his cane obviously). god. that is some good television.

worst 5 things about once upon a time

5. the adoption politics but everyone knows this one.

4. WASTING the talent

you had the love of my life sonequa martin-green and gave her nothing. you somehow scored oded fehr as jafar and gave him nothing. you had giancarlo esposito and regina literally forgot he existed. i will kill you

3. rumpelstiltskin.

it’s no secret that robert carlyle was acting circles around most of the cast; my opinion is that the showrunners felt that if they committed to either his redemption or his villainy, they would never find someone else with the talent to fill his shoes as bastard wizard. so they flip-flopped on him every half-season, which ruins his story longterm, slowly kills the light in robert’s eyes, and gets reallllllly old. it’s also no secret that my favorite rumpelstiltskin is bastard wizard, but they screwed over belle BIG time in the process and for that i will never forgive them.

also like. the rumpelstiltskin fairy tale is antisemitic to begin with and they did not minimize that by comparing him to a lizard and naming his storybrooke counterpart mr gold. they just. did that.

2. THE FUCKING NEVERLAND ARC GOD IN CHRIIIIIIIIIIIST THAT HALF-SEASON IS EXCRUCIATING

1. captain hook

*it’s my opinion that if you are bored, you’re watching a hook-centric episode. every time i dropped the show and forgot about it for months at a time, it was because i had been in the middle of an episode about hook and just could not get through it. how do i describe all the things i don’t like about what killian hook jones did to the show? with subpoints!

1a. the episode where gold gives him back his hand and he never changes.

**this is actually the same episode i mentioned about anna and, like i said, it’s one of my favorites and not at all boring. look, i’m not pretending this list isn’t subjective as hell.

remember when hook blackmailed mr gold into magically reattaching his hand, which gold has been keeping in a jar, because hook has a date with emma and wants it to go well? but also, gold tells him that if he reattaches his hand with dark magic, it will turn him evil? and then hook spends the episode doing evil things, only for mr gold to tell him “i was just messing with you! the hand was not evil, you gave yourself permission to be evil ;)”

yeah, that’s basically hook’s mo.

1b. episode where emma tells him his brother is lying to him and he learns the exact wrong lesson from this and never changes.

so emma goes to the underworld to get hook back after he dies (while being evil and doing villainous things). they find his brother down there, too, and emma senses that he has a dark secret (because he does) and is lying to them (because he is). but hook always idolized his older brother, so he won't believe her. when emma confronts the brother directly, hook interrupts to rant to her about how he knows what this is ~really all about.

actual dialogue:

HOOK: i don't need proof to know what's really going on here. emma, when are you gonna admit that this isn't really about my brother? EMMA: what else would you think it was about? HOOK: us. you think if you can prove that liam is a villain, then i’ll somehow feel like i was less of one.

who... would EVER come to that conclusion. and why is the lesson he learns at the end “perhaps i do deserve saving after all” (another direct quote), and not “NOT EVERYTHING IS ABOUT YOU, BECAUSE EMMA WAS LITERALLY RIGHT ABOUT YOUR BROTHER LYING TO EVERYONE”????

1c. the emma dark one arc, where hook never changes.

this would be the arc that leads up to the above underworld arc, and it is deeply dumb, entertaining, and hard to explain. suffice it to say, during this whole arc, killian (along with emma) has all the powers and ~~~Darkness~~~ of the dark one (formerly rumpelstiltskin). unlike emma, he is not aware of this for most of the season. the moment he finally finds out, he turns on emma and goes through with all the revenge plans he’s apparently been holding onto since season two.

it’s supposed to be sympathetic, because emma made this choice for him to be a dark one, which is clearly awful, when he didn’t want it. so i get that. but on the other hand, it is..... boring. because (a) it's nothing we haven't seen him try to do and fail at before, his motivations really aren't that complex. and more importantly, (b) he was the dark one the whole time! the only thing that changed, that made him act evil, was finding out about it. at that point, it's not the ~~~Darkness~~~ making you do evil things. it’s just you. because you’re a dick.

how is this arc resolved? well, he dies. after the underworld arc (which i very much enjoyed tbf), a sizable part of robin hood’s death episode is devoted to people telling emma to slow down and grieve for killian, since at least two arcs have revolved around her inability to let hook go when he is literally dying or dead. (it’s been said a million times but being his girlfriend really sucked the personality out of emma and i miss her.) and in the end he just... comes back anyway. no explanation given; he says it must be a reward from zeus for killing hades... while he and emma make out literally in front of the coffin of robin hood... who actually died fighting hades. killian died half a season before. while he was evil. and emma reverts to tearful girlfriend.

it’s insulting. it’s grating. and it is a Killian Hook Jones Guarantee that his episodes will involve some measure of this.

like, is it more or less the same shtick that the writers kept giving rumpelstiltskin, too? backsliding and screwing over his love interest who gets less and less say in the matter? yes. definitely. the crucial difference is that i, personally, love rumpelstiltskin, while i find hook boring and not self-aware. but clearly i have had a lot of fun complaining about him! again, this is not an objective list.

conclusions

this show ran for 7 years. it got cancelled not because it deserved to, but because no one liked the soft reboot. it was on until 2018.

[lilietsblog]

non-spoilery as of end of pgte book 2 prolonged scream about what Cat does there

so there are multiple things there that Catherine's narration kind of glosses over, and tbf it's for good reason! Catherine is not a braggy kind of person in her narration, if she goes "I'm fucking awesome" it's to psyche herself up for some new bullshit, not to rest on her laurels, and it's honestly fantastic and helps the narrative a lot, that said, we should all totally step back and appreciate that

1) Catherine is seriously for real inheriting Callow here. Like this is not a trick? This is not a clever wording loophole? Catherine is literally at that point in the process of putting her ducks in a row for her "Callow is now mine bitches" plan, and while it's not exactly immediately transitioning to her being in charge of everything solo, she is very much getting the inheritance of ruling Callow from her father teacher I said teacher

2) Catherine put her life on the line for her people twice over - on an increasingly thin one. First she goes into the city of Liesse itself while knowing about the pattern - she's unwilling to let William claim his victory here in this way :) and this might sound obvious, especially for someone who's just read the book, but - there's nothing selfish about this. Catherine gains nothing from besieging Liesse (except very marginal OR very low likelihood potential gains that would 100% not be worth the risk) and loses nothing from retreating to the Legions, this is purely for the sake of the population of Liesse itself. Second she goes specifically to seek William out to deal with the devil problem (WHICH WAS ALSO BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING AND I JUST WANTED TO POINT THIS FACT OUT. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL AND AMAZING HOW SHE DID THAT RIP AKUA'S LOOPHOLE CAT'S GONNA DRIVE A TRAIN THROUGH IT)  (oh and also this would help the rebel forces which HER forces were actively fighting at the time, just to harp on this point a bit more) - again, while knowing that a pattern of three is active and she's fated to lose. She did her best struggling but she KNEW she was going to lose. And the plan for her to survive was like... 1. die 2. become undead 3. convince a choir they want to support her over their champion. Like, can we all appreciate how insane a plan that is? Catherine went with it straight-faced, and like... Paradoxically, I'm pretty sure it's because it was insane that it actually worked. Because Catherine knew it was absurd, knew she was basically laying down her life for this one city, and she did it anyway. She threw her life down and dared angels to say she wasn't worthy of what she wished to claim.

Because none of this was a trick. Cat’s narration kind of focuses on the part that WAS tricky wording / loopholes, and it sure is convenient that Heiress was there to represent "the enemy" that Cat was presumably protecting Callow from... she was though? Like I'm sure Akua's presence helped drive the symbolism down with the subtlety of a dropped anvil, but factually Cat's goal is to stand between the worst of Praes and Callow, and even her helping tamp down this rebellion ALREADY IS actively working to minimize casualties (Black had changed his strategy due to her involvement). Getting William to confirm that the chapel is Callowan land is more along the lines of not letting Akua get away with a loophole (also fucking hilarious, "could be relied upon to fuck over at least one person in the room" no I didn't reread I just remember that because I adore it). Of course the chapel is in Callow in every meaningful sense! It's attached to Liesse and events in it are going to ripple out into and then from Liesse geographically, that's the entire problem! If the chapel wasn't Callowan Cat wouldn't give a shit and wouldn't have given her fucking life (SHE'S LITERALLY DEAD AT THAT POINT, A SKILLED NECROMANCER WHO MANAGED TO OVERPOWER MASEGO COULD PUPPET HER) to get there!

None of this is a trick! The sword in the stone was a decorative flourish and not even a part of Cat's original plan, because the thrust if it was not the #CallowanAesthetic. The thrust if it was the authentic narrative, in the sense of A=>B: when the person whose job is about to be ruling Callow gives their life to protect its people, and the protection takes the form of getting to a point of contact with angels to get them to switch tracks from doing one thing to another (importantly, Akua also wanted to mess with William's ritual, Cat hijacking it first locked her out!), well then in that situation the angels kind of have a job to do.

And if their chosen champion is the SOURCE of the original problem and this new person who's coming in for a last minute save is literally his deadly nemesis and about to kill him... well fucking sucks for them, I guess! They are angels. They have a job, and when something's gone wrong with how they're doing it, the course corrections can be rough.

Cat did not do a sleight of hand here. Cat full on committed to a course of action that was going to achieve her chosen goal - interrupting both William and Akua - even if the resurrection trick didn't work and it killed her. Cat straight up laid down her life for her people, then asked for it back.

And the way Guideverse works, when things line up just so... well, the chapter is named that for a reason :)

I will also contrast it to Akua’s “pattern of three” plan, because it’s an excellent example of how things DON’T work - of how they work when you are doing it wrong, and how tricks that really ARE tricks blow up in your face. A pattern of three works on symmetry and reversal - claim the victory at first, get inevitably defeated at the last moment. And it’s not that it’s impossible to abuse that, but you gotta PAY. You always gotta pay if you want the result to be real. Akua tried to avoid payment - she lost NOTHING in that first confrontation with Cat that she so demonstrably lost except underlings she didn’t care about (RIP those people). Akua got a technical loss that was actually a victory in every sense that mattered... well hey, guess what the pattern reversed into!

That’s the difference between basing your story on something real - something that would have worked this way in a non-narrativium world too - and trying to cheat your way through loopholes. Would non-narrativium world Akua have fled from that confrontation with Catherine, if she’d seriously considered her a rival and enemy? Nope, not unless she had the same “outsmarting herself” sort of plan Cat would later get to foil. Would non-narrativium world Catherine have gone into Liesse to put her life on the line against both her nemeses at once to save its people? Well... yeah. It’s the same thing with or without story lenses. That’s why it works.

And that’s why it’s fucking awesome.

(I do not just mean on the meta level “look how cleverly Guide is written”. I mean on the object level, reading the end of Book 2 is cathartic and awesome and breathtaking, because every part of it is painstakingly built up to and earned. Things happen the way they FEEL like they should happen - and the only thing the narrativium does here is expose the wiring.)

[glon-morski]

Trial by Fire - Orignal Character Sheet

Story link: Trial by Fire on AO3

Character: Torikae Meko

Name Meaning: 'Torikae' (取替) means "to swap/exchange". 'Meko' is formed with the kanji ‘me’ (目) meaning "eye/eyeball" or "to look/stare/glance" and ‘ko’ (子) which means "child". Her entire name is a giant reference to her Quirk.

Physical appearance: Meko is an average-sized girl of about 1m68 (5’6’’). She’s slim, but also has some visible muscle definition to her showing that she exercises a lot, with her shoulders and biceps being the most defined and her abdominal and back muscles being the least visibly trained. (She has muscle there, too, it just isn’t as visibly built.) She has a rather narrow waist and hips and is rather flat-chested, sporting a modest A-cup. She has long, coral-colored hair that she ties either in a high pony-tail-braid or, more often, in two low pigtails resembling the haircut of Saya from the anime Blood-C. Her complexion is light brown and she has aquamarine, almond-shaped eyes (when her iris are visible, anyway – see her Quirk for explanation details).

Hero costume: The most notable thing are her goggles, the lenses of which are one-way mirrors reflecting everything in front of her without hindering her being able to see (like the one-way mirror walls in police interrogation rooms in media, where it looks like a mirror on one side but there’s actually a room behind it and people can use it as a window to observe the interrogation). This is meant to hide not only what or who she’s looking at (similar to Eraserhead’s goggles), but also what her eyes look like (refer to the Quirk section for explanation). Beyond that, her hero costume is a form-fitting, reinforced, dark green biker jump-suit (a bit similar to the outfit of Makoto Nijima from the Persona 5 game once she awakens her Persona) to which she attaches various small knickknacks, particularly at the utility belt, around the ankles and wrists, but also at various other places. These knickknacks include but are not limited to tiny glass bottles containing one or two drops of various liquids, singular metal chain links, short wires, small pieces of wood, plant leaves and at least one or two pieces of some sort of fluff.

Quirk: Optic Exchange – If she looks at something and wills it, the object she’s looking at turns into the material her sclera is currently made of, while her sclera take on the material of the thing she’s been looking at. So the first time she’s used her Quirk, whatever she looked at turned into the biological material of her eyes and her eyes became whatever she’s been looking at. This works not only for solid materials like wood and metal, but also for fluids like water and most elements, like earth and fire and even for biological materials like plants or cooked meat. However, she cannot use her Quirk on anything in gaseous form, and depending on the material her eyes turn into she may not be immune to potential damage to her eye-sockets or the skin around her eyes. (So when her eyes turned into fire like in chapter 30 of TbF, she burned herself because her skin is not fireproof.) Her optical nerves and other optical cells seem to be protected to some degree, so risk of loss of eye-sight is significantly lowered, if not negligent in most cases. However, if she overuses her Quirk, her eye-sight worsens permanently and does not recover. Depending on the material her sclera turns into, her iris may be swallowed in the exchange so that only the material her eyes took on and her pupils remain, though this only seems to happen with some of the solid materials and never for fluid ones.

Personality: Meko is generally soft-spoken and a touch shy, but she’s also very determined and stubborn. Once she makes up her mind about someone, there’s no making her realize she might be wrong unless you have solid proof. Once she makes up her mind about doing something, there’s nearly no convincing her to not do it. You can either leave her to whatever she’s decided to do, or follow along to try and keep an eye on her, but forget about stopping her. That said, she also knows when to step back and let someone else take charge and, despite her stubbornness, she’s actually more prone to doing that than to taking matters into her own hands because she doesn’t feel comfortable leading others. However, while she’ll try to follow another’s plan to a T in most cases, if she thinks she has a better way to deal with things that won’t endanger her teammates, she’ll deviate and do her own thing. She’s not quite a ‘Lone Wolf’, but she’s not someone who always works perfectly with others, either. This is especially obvious when it comes to her Quirk, as people often tend to tell her to be careful with how she uses it and to not overdo it due to the potential damage she can do to her eyes, while Meko always tends to quickly consider both pros and cons of a certain course of action and then, when she decides to take it, not hesitating to see things through no matter how much pain she might have to endure or how much damage she risks to do to her own eyes. It’s not to the point of taking pointless risks, but she definitely doesn’t shy away from hurting herself if her using her Quirk can be a deciding factor of how a situation develops.

@ any artist willing to draw her, feel free, I’ll be honored. I only ask that you post your art with a reblog of this post or a link to it and not pretend she’s your OC :3

[bisluthq]

Does anybody else think the Kaylor anon was making some really good points? I think they seem smart and analytical. I think it's possible we might be the ones in the wrong here. I love Joe and I think he's so hot and I ship Jaylor so hard, but TBF, he is a bit of a clout-chaser. Anon was right about that.

And I think Taylor and Joe are so in love and cute together and I hope they get married and have a baby, and it makes me mad when people call poor Joe Toe but it's true that he has a flop career. I love Joe, but he's not that good looking either, and maybe the anon is right that Taylor wouldn't call him "gorgeous".

I mean, I love his personality so much and I love his movies, and he's my favorite Taylor boyfriend ever, but maybe they aren't really dating? Maybe the Kaylor anon was right? I don't know... I'm questioning everything... Maybe we should hear what they have to say?

.... how is he a clout chaser lmao he literally refuses to speak about her? Joe could be on any magazine within a phone call if he agrees to 1) talk about her 2) pose with her or even the fucking cats. You know who was a clout chaser? The person who in 2018 was still claiming her and Tay are “good friends” 💀😬👀

He is NOT MY FAVORITE BOYFRIEND OF HERS but he is HER favorite boyfriend seemingly. I mean Harry is clearly the superior one but it was fake but of real boyfriends like... whatever my feelings about Jake are he is objectively better looking than Joe like that’s just a fact.

There is no way to make invisible string make sense in a world where she’s not with Joe tbh. There is no real way to understand WB if she’s not with Joe. Maybe they’re platonic soulmates we don’t know what they do behind closed doors but likeeeee he’s a massive part of her life.

And idk what else to tell y’all. If you’re in a doubty place go read their big timeline again.

Like we can doubt if they fuck or not because we are not them but we also can’t deny reality and this is absolutely not a publicity stunt.

[steven-falls]

Gravity Falls reviewed: Tourist Trapped

What I’m struck by when I rewatch ‘Tourist Trapped’ is how many times it tries to pull one over on the audience. We start off with protagonist Dipper’s narration over the peaceful family picnic, only for a fake out reveal that he and his sister Mabel are actually being chased down by some giant monster. So then we’re left anticipating this giant monster, only to be introduced to Mabel’s zombie boyfriend, only for that zombie to turn out to be a bunch of Gnomes, only for all those gnomes to then join together to form some giant living mech, which turns out to be the monster from the episode’s opening.

When all these plot points are bullet pointed like this, they can come across as some abrupt shifts. But the episode actually telegraphs all of these shifts well enough that they manage to flow quite naturally. As Dipper says in the episode’s opening: ‘Rest assured; there’s a perfectly logical explanation. Let’s rewind.’

Before the plot even gets started we’re introduced to our setting and characters. Gravity Falls introduction as a setting is pretty simple: It’s a sleepy town that twelve year old twins Dipper and Mabel Pines have been sent to, to stay with their great uncle (or ‘Grunkle’) Stan. We don’t really see much of the town itself in this episode, just the cabin where Stan lives (Which doubles as a tourist trap named ‘the Mystery Shack’) and the surrounding forest. This helps create the atmosphere that the kids are stuck in the middle of the wilderness. The only major human characters introduced in the pilot are the five main characters; The three aforementioned Pines’, along with Stan’s handyman Soos and the Mystery Shack’s teenage employee Wendy. Most of the supporting townsfolk aren’t introduced until the second episode. As a duo, Dipper and Mabel balance each other out perfectly. Dipper is so curious about his surroundings that he can always be relied upon to move the plot along. Meanwhile, Mabel makes for some great comic relief. Whenever the series goes into a darker direction she can be used to lighten the mood.

The way Mabel is written in this episode seriously impresses me. She provides like half the jokes in this episode and they all pretty much land. 

The highlight for me has to be Mabel’s interaction with the gnomes. I particularly love the part where the gnomes first reveal their true identity to Mabel. The head gnome just keeps rambling on about needing to marry Mabel to make her their new queen while Mabel just sits looking dejected on a rock. The way Mabel trails off while trying to gently let down the gnomes sounds so naturalistic, its like you can feel her cautiously choosing every word. It sounds like such an authentic break up for such a silly situation. 

Honestly, trying to force a twelve year old into marriage is pretty dark, but because the gnomes are small, weird, and not particularly threatening the writers get away with it.

If the jokes aren’t coming from Mabel and her love life then they’re probably coming from Stan and Soos popping up. Stan’s appearances are pretty much just a string of old man and shyster jokes. But there are a couple moments thrown in at the end to show there is some depth to his character. Such as when finally Stan shows some compassion to the twins by letting them take a gift from his shop. 

Speaking of, Dipper’s hat is so iconic to his design that it’s funny to think he just found it in the mystery shack. It’s a bit surprising no one else around town has one.

Soos is also set up as a standard comic relief character. The thing I find funniest about his portrayal is how Dipper actually takes his advice. 

Surprisingly, my favourite character introduction is actually Wendy’s, it’s just so concise. She only has two lines in the entire episode, but they telegraph her character really well.

The first line shows her laid back and lazy attitude toward work, and the second shows her supportive friendship with Dipper. Plus both these moments double as jokes, so it’s not like its needless exposition about a character we barely see in this episode. You could also argue that Wendy’s brief appearance foreshadows how Wendy would be pretty under utilised in the series as a whole, but that’s an issue for future episodes.

After the status quo is established Dipper is sent into ‘the spooky part of the forest’ by Stan. (I love that Stan specifies ‘spooky’). This is where Dipper finds the object that really gets the plot rolling: The journal.

I appreciate how the journal Dipper finds is numbered as the third one. Dipper later mentions how the journal abruptly ends, suggesting that it is the last journal in a set of three.  The audience knows there’s exactly two more of these things to look out for, whereas if Dipper had found the first or second one we would have been left guessing how many of these things there actually are. 

The journal simultaneously drives Dippers actions by flaming his suspicions, whilst it also foreshadows where the plot is going. The journal contains both an entry on zombies, which Dipper mistakes as the initial threat, and also an entry on gnomes, who turn out to be the real antagonists. I particularly like how they foreshadow the gnomes in that joke where Dipper means to show Mabel the zombies page and opens up the gnomes page instead.

The gnome page actually crops up a few times throughout the episode, but its appearances are brief enough that you don’t necessarily predict the final gnome reveal on your first watch through, but it’s there to be appreciated on repeat viewings.  

Whilst the zombie to gnome shift is foreshadowed quite well, they don’t do as much to telegraph the gnomes forming into a giant mech. My personal issue with this shift is that the giant ravenging monster the gnomes form into is like the complete opposite of the silly small creatures the gnomes are portrayed as prior.

The gnome monster does have a cool design however. I like how its sharp teeth are formed by gnome hats. Plus it leads to a chase scene, which makes for a climactic action set piece.

Dipper does tell us in the opening scene that the episode is going to end with a monster chase, so we at least know the direction the episode is going, meaning the gnomes forming a giant living mech doesn’t cause as much whiplash as it should. Although, I suppose if five of them were able to come together to form a teenager, why not a giant gnome mech? 

I mentioned in my intro that the episode keeps pulling one over on the audience. But why does the episode feel the need to pull multiple rugs out from underneath the audiences feet? Well, it shows that everything about Gravity Falls (Both the town and the show) is Not What it Seems, which is one of the main conceits of the show. Obviously everyone who’s watched the show knows this, there’s literally a coded message in the intro saying so. (okay tbf it says ‘Stan is not what he seems’ but you could still apply that to the town as a whole). Not only is this seemingly boring town actually paranormal, but the paranormal activity itself isn’t even what you’d expect. You want zombie survival horror? Too bad, you get arranged gnome marriages instead. 

And really that’s what Tourist Traps purpose as a pilot is; to lay out and introduce the themes of the show. And rewatching this episode after watching the whole series, it’s impressive just how many themes of the show are introduced from the very first episode. For example, one of the main conflicts of this episode is whether or not the twins can trust each other, and this theme of trust comes back in a big way later. 

Tourist Trapped lays out so many intriguing mysteries, from the mysterious journal, to the secrets of Gravity Falls, to the final shot of Stan entering into a secret room behind his vending machine. It’s enough to leave you invested and wanting to find out more. And that’s how you know Tourist Trapped is a successful pilot.