#tbf I understand that I don’t know how to cook

[platypusisnotonfire]

This is what I’m doing to the eggs:

@absentlyabbie @uncuteartist @boxingcleverrr

[imcomplaining]

It just gets to be too much. Like tbf we started dating when we were teenagers and of course things weren’t great then. But then, like, in college she was just really emotionally distant and I never really felt like she loved me and I was super insecure about it, but I figured she’d grow out of that because she does love me, and I knew that, she just wasn’t at the point yet where she’d learned how to communicate that effectively. And then she dropped out of college and that worried me a little, but I know that, like, I’m very type-A and also a product of that particular type of stereotypical parenting and school never mattered to her the way it does for me and also we were really young and she had other plans, so that was fine for a while.

And then her plan B didn’t work out, and then plan C didn’t work out, and then I found out she was cheating on me and idk why I stayed after that but I did, and things were really good for a while and she’s been faithful since then. But then she got really depressed for a while and I was thinking of ending things because, like, I was a full time student and working really hard and I’d take, like, summer jobs basically for extra cash to supplement my scholarship money, and I was, like, barreling ahead in life and getting comfortable being an adult. And she was falling behind, like she wasn’t working and she was depressed and it was affecting our relationship really badly and as much as I tried to be there for her and get through to her, that doesn’t work unless she also tries and really puts effort into it. And it was just getting to be too much work to have this relationship. Like I worked and then I was commuting to school and I’d have to squeeze in time to drive a long way to see her. She wasn’t in school, didn’t have a job, couldn’t drive, and also, like, wasn’t putting the work into our relationship either.

But then she moved closer and she got a job and things were getting better. And then I graduated and things were great, and then I moved for grad school and we were long distance for a while and it was fine for the most part. It took me awhile to figure out how to still be a good partner to her, but we worked that out. And then I was worried I’d have to break up with her because she’s trans and I knew my family wouldn’t be okay with that, and I was worried that it would be too hard on her to marry into this massive family with a completely different culture to hers and then either have to hide who she is or have to deal with my family just not getting it. But I resolved to stay with her, I was, like, not going to cut my family out of my life but to really either distance myself from them or to fight and make them understand and accept her. And that’s a big sacrifice for me. My family is huge and they’re also like, my main tie to my culture. Like, I was worried that being apart from them would mean that I’d end up assimilating and having just white American kids who don’t speak the language or know anything about their heritage. And we wanted to raise gender neutral kids and I was worried then too, and still am, that they’d end up having names like “Storm” or whatever, all these things I’d see from white people who raise their kids that way. But we worked that out too, and things were going really good.

And then we moved in together and I feel like…idk like a wife in a way I’m not really okay with. I work from home a lot and my job isn’t physically demanding so it makes sense that I’d end up doing more of the domestic labor. Like I’m just home more often and not so physically tired. And I was okay with that, like it wasn’t a huge deal at first because she would still do the laundry and take the trash out and cook and take care of the dog when she was home. And so that was working fine! And I have hangups about domestic labor stuff because my mom has always been the primary parent and done all of the domestic work, and I grew up seeing so many women do the super mommy thing where they’re working full time and being the primary parent and doing the lion share of the domestic labor and taking care of their adult-toddler husbands, and I do not want that for myself or my kids. And she assured me it would be like that and that like it was just that she’s not home as often and that my standards for cleaning are much higher and she didn’t know what I wanted her to do and that I should just ask or tell her like oh this needs to be cleaned or this is empty or whatever. And I was very clear that, like, having to keep track of all of that and having to ask is part of the problem because what happens is that the husband isn’t trained to even notice what needs to be done so then it’s on the wife to notice all those things and keep track of that and then assign some of those tasks to her husband, and it’s just not healthy or equal because it makes all of those things her job. Like then she can’t be mad that you haven’t done the laundry in days because she didn’t ask you to, when it’s like, you live here and it’s your laundry too you should be able to notice that the hamper is full and then take it upon yourself to do the laundry without being asked.

But I said I’d work with her on it and I gave her like a few chores that, like, were driving me crazy and that I’d just like her to do all the time without being asked. And it was just like, wipe off the surfaces after you use them, take the dog out in the evening, clean up in the bathroom if you make a mess, take out the trash. And like basically don’t leave more mess for me, right? Like I like vacuuming and I’m happy to do it, I love my vacuum cleaner and I hate a dirty floor, and I’m adamant about not wearing shoes in the house. And it’s still a battle to get her to take her shoes off and put them on the rack. She leaves dirty cups and empty cans around, she leaves hair on the sink and in the tub, she makes messes on the kitchen counter and the stove and doesn’t wipe them up, she’ll leave a mess in the kitchen sink and also just leave the rag wadded up in there still soaking wet instead of wiping out the sink and wringing out the rag and hanging it to dry. She hasn’t done the laundry and she stopped taking out the trash and recycling. I can’t remember the last time she vacuumed or cleaned the bathroom. And the worst is that she doesn’t remember to take care of the dog. I love that dog, but he’s her dog. And I give him breakfast and take him out in the morning and afternoon because I’m home and she’s not, but I hate hate hate having to also give him dinner and take him out at night.

And for awhile it was like, well okay like it’s just because she hasn’t been feeling well, she falls asleep and there’s no waking her up and like once she can see a doctor and get that figured out and find a treatment that helps then things will go back to normal. But then that’s not happening and she missed her appointment. And so I’ve been doing all this shit, and I kept trying to suggest that she try to find some kind of work around. Like, I’m not fully able-bodied either, I’ve got debilitating back pain and I’m often very physically weak and lethargic, so there’s a lot I can’t do but, you know, I try to find a work around so I can keep living normally. I’ll move things over to zoom, I try to keep things tidy and clean as I go so that I don’t have to do heavy-duty cleaning all at once which is very physically hard for me to do, I do pain management stuff and just try to keep an eye on it so it doesn’t get bad enough to incapacitate me. So I’d suggested like, hey maybe stop drinking and try taking shorter, planned naps so you can keep more of a regular schedule, etc. You know, like basic maintenance kind of stuff you try if you’re feeling bad.

And she hasn’t tried any of that at all. And now I find out she’s been drinking way more than I thought and, like, hiding it from me. And I wonder if the drinking might be why all of this is happening in the first place. Because I asked her today how long this has been going on, and I guess it started kind of around the same time that her feeling so bad and sleeping all the time started.

And, like, alcoholism is a debilitating illness and I have a lot of sympathy for her as someone who cares deeply about her. But as her partner I kind of feel like “how could you do this to me?” You know? Like I was so worried about her all the time and so overwhelmed by the amount of stuff I was having to do, and I was trying so hard to make it work and to be there for her, and then I find out she’s making it worse and drinking behind my back.

And it was already getting to be too much for me. Like some of the things that bothered her about me were like, I’m kind of stiff I guess and I wasn’t showing affection in a way that registered to her and I hadn’t taken her out on any dates in a long time, and I used to, like, kind of pick fights and get rude and argumentative, and I never initiated in the bedroom. So I was working on all of that, I was trying to be more openly affectionate and trying to plan dates, trying to be more communicative in bed and initiate more, and I got treated for my ADHD and so now I’m not so argumentative and angry and like I’ve been really working on my tone and how I approach talking about any issues. So I was trying really hard to be a better partner, you know?

And I was getting frustrated having to do so much work, and, like, wanting to do romantic stuff for her. Wanting to make her feel special and show her that I love her, but you can’t do that it’s just too much and too exhausting when you’re doing everything and spread so thin like that. And I had told her so a few times. And then after the incident where she peed on the floor and I had to spend my night cleaning it up and all that, I texted her while she was at work that day and I told her, very calmly and respectfully, that, like basically something’s got to give. I told her that I’ve been so overwhelmed and that I’m not mad at her and it’s not her fault but that I need her to, like, get in to see a doctor and like try something try to find some kind of workaround because I can’t keep doing this. And then that was the day that she was apparently drunk at work and then went to the ER and I couldn’t get ahold of her for hours.

I had to call the hospital and then I rushed down there to see her, she comes home and still hasn’t told me anything, she fell asleep pretty much right away and she didn’t explain herself when she woke up either. I had to like wheedle it out of her… and we still haven’t really talked.

Like, I don’t know what to say. I want her to explain to me, like just come clean and tell me what’s been going on and what she’s going to do about it. And then only after that I want to talk about our relationship. Like, at least till the end of our lease I think I’m okay living with her, but I want to at least take a break from our romantic relationship and just be friends instead. I can’t cope with this as her romantic partner but it’s easier as her friend.

And then once the lease is up, idk. I think I might move back into my old place. And I think she should probably rent a room with somebody or move back with her family. It sucks because I do love her, I love her so much and we had made plans together and we’ve been together so long. Like I just bought a new expensive couch before this, and we were talking about renting a nicer place and talking about having kids, and I had plans to propose to her very soon.

And now just none of that is going to work. I can’t marry her like this, I can’t have kids with her like this. I’m going to find a nice little apartment either where I lived before or idk something else like a studio apartment or something and I’m just going to be her friend while she works this out. And then idk maybe she’ll get things sorted and maybe we can be together again, but I don’t want to wait around anymore. I’m ready for a serious, adult relationship and I’m happy with my job and I have a good support system with my friends and family. Like, I know that I will be okay.

[punkscowardschampions]

Jali pt.3

Johnny: [sit her back down on this bed before she falls down, kissing the top of her head this time, in a lot more chaste of a manner than the cheek one but still messier and more extra than the standard way most peeps would do that, getting her hair in his mouth to gently play with and then spit deliberately out]

Ali: [‘why didn’t you have a girlfriend?’ as you’re flopping yourself down on this bed as if that was simply the hottest thing you’ve ever seen and you can’t understand why he wasn’t taken, god bless]

Johnny: [‘we don’t have girlfriends, we have wives’ as he’s drinking his water like that’s casual and you weren’t once again implying you wanna marry her]

Ali: [just stroking his back as you lay here, shaking your head like you’re in awe of this boy ‘you’ll be very good at it’]

Johnny: [a shrug like idk idk but even as he’s downplaying what a good husband he’ll be he’s sharing his water with her, literally lifting her head up and feeding her some of this like you do with an ill person so she can stay lying down]

Ali: [just do this and try not to drown because you’re too busy having feelings as you stare at him with SO much love, wiping your lips on the back of your hand ‘weird to think of you all grown up’ in a wistful kind of way]

Johnny: [looking at her like she’s messing about saying that because ‘I’m already grown’ which he genuinely believes cos tbf he has a job and lives on his own and so much other shit that like bitches in their 20s aren’t doing so it’s valid for you to say and think it sir]

Ali: [‘you know what I mean’ ‘cos we mean married and children grown here, nudging him and rubbing his muscles on his arms like I know, I know boy]

Johnny: [‘yeah’ in a more quiet and thoughtful way because he do and now he’s thinking about it in a not being her sense, the traditional sense, putting his water down and looking at her because would rather stay here in the now please @ his own brain]

Ali: [you don’t have to calm him down by making him mad, girl, so shh on this topic now, it isn’t like you enjoy thinking about it either currently ‘you’ve got me’ like whatever the hell you wanna call me, doesn’t matter, sitting yourself up to kiss along his ear casually]

Johnny: [‘I’ve got to leave you again’ because true but not making a move to actually get up yet despite saying that like he meant it, something else you don’t wanna think about really nevermind have to do because lord knows how many hours of work you have left]

Ali: [‘I’ll think of something else for you to look forward to’ as a promise, whether you mean that saucily or like you’ll actually cook him something and bring it here for dinner, you’ve not thought that far ahead yet, here being vaguely helpful by putting his hair back up for him because it definitely got fucked up there, obviously you’re doing all the kisses along his neck whilst you do it]

Johnny: [the way he just unexpectedly launches himself at her to hug her once she’s done all that for him because do have to attempt to leave and we’re overcome by emotion about it, holding her so tightly here for several beats before letting go and then doing a legit married couple style cheek kiss for the first time ever, it’s still a bit more of one than the cliche peck but it’s so so much less indecent, he’s getting there]

Ali: [have to hit him with an ‘I love you’ because the ‘Goodbye’ you said before that sounds so dramatic and final and you hate it so you just have to let yourself say what you actually want to say, soz not soz, wrap yourself up in whatever blanket is here so he can leave and it isn’t as difficult as it could be, despite having no plans of going to sleep of course]

Johnny: [hold this key for a sec while you debate saying a million and one things but decide you mustn’t or you’ll never go, drop that key and let it hit her like an ILY or goodbye of your own and then actually walk out when she’s wrapping herself up]

Ali: [let him go and probably have your sulking in bed moment for real here and now because never enough time to process any of this, like, message him an hour or so later, so soon but not like the second he’s walked out]

Ali: I didn’t hurt you, did I?

Johnny: [I’m sure you’re doing your trick of not even reading it til nearer clocking off time cos you gotta concentrate and that’s the only way you will, we all know it]

Johnny: No, don’t worry yourself

Ali: Are you nearly done?

Ali: I’ll be back in a bit, had to do some things though so I’m not there

Johnny: I’ll be off [doing whatever it is that he needs to do to make the kitchen functional as he said he would whether that’s buy a bottle of gas idk about these things] 1st, you’ve time to get here before me

Ali: In that case, I’ll have to go shopping 🛒

Johnny: Do your maths, smart girl and keep in your head how much it all is to give you back

Ali: I got it

Ali: I still just about have a paper round, had an awful bug whilst we’ve been away, obvs

Johnny: Not how this works, you’re just about a girl, you needn’t pay for nothing

Ali: just about, yeah

Ali: You’re funny

Johnny: I’m serious about taking care of you, you know

Ali: I know, you’re the most serious, it’s just so different than anything I’m used to

Johnny: You’ll find yourself used to it when it keeps on happening

Ali: You got loads more done after that, yeah? 🥰

Johnny: I’ve done enough

Ali: No jobs tonight?

Johnny: Only my share of what needs finishing in our place, like

Johnny: what’ve you got for me?

Ali: Don’t you want the surprise of waiting to see

Johnny: I don’t know about surprises

Ali: You love surprises!

Johnny: You love surprising me

Ali: Exactly, I’m one big surprise to you

Ali: I like making you happy, that’s all

Johnny: Sounds as if I’ve no knowing of you putting it like that

Ali: You do now

Ali: but you’d not have if I didn’t force my company on you like

Johnny: I might’ve

Ali: Would you? 🤔

Johnny: Maybe

Ali: So mysterious, boy

Ali: I don’t think you would, that’s why I picked you and it was all my idea

Johnny: You would say that

Ali: 😏

Ali: It’s the truth, I fancied you

Johnny: Sure, and I did you

Ali: I don’t know if I believe that

Ali: wish you did

Johnny: You’d not be with me if I never, dope

Ali: I’m fishing for compliments and you give dope 😂

Johnny: You’ve already been told why I like you

Ali: Do you think I’m weird looking?

Johnny: What? Who’s said to you that you are?

Ali: No one today, ignore me

Johnny: No, what day was it and who was it said this shite?

Ali: Just my enemies 

Ali: but I can’t feel insecure now you’re being all protective 

Johnny: You’ve none now, ‘cause yours are mine and they won’t be after having me as 1

Ali: I don’t care if anyone else likes me if you do, all I need is your approval, I swear, fuck

Johnny: You’re not to care

Ali: Do you like protecting me

Ali: or does it feel like more stress?

Johnny: You’ve things you do for me, this is 1 of mine I do for you

Ali: Good

Ali: because I really don’t want you to stop but I would if it made me just another problem

Johnny: It’s no trouble

Ali: I’m going to treat you so good tonight

Johnny: Where are you?

Ali: On my way to Tescos

Johnny: Then you’ll be on your way to ours?

Ali: Fast as I can

Ali: and you’re going to be waiting for me this time

Johnny: Can be a race

Ali: I have 🥚🥚s, it’s not fair

Johnny: To throw at your enemies, is it?

Ali: Ugh, I’m going in the wrong way now

Ali: they live over the road, next time

Johnny: That girl you wanted to murder?

Ali: That’s the one

Ali: don’t look her up

Johnny: I’ll go see her

Ali: She’ll be after stealing you

Johnny: She’ll be too scared of me

Ali: True

Ali: I can see it but I can’t be

Johnny: You know you’re safe

Ali: The safest 

Ali: haven’t felt it in a while

Johnny: You’ll be used to it soon too

Ali: I don’t know if I want to be, I like this feeling, you’re so special to me

Johnny: It’ll only be more special the longer it lasts

Johnny: [and tell her about how long some of your fam have been together because your grandparents really could have been a couple for a minute, mine met at 15 and were together til they died in their 80s so]

Ali: That’s incredible, I don’t even have grandparents to know anything about

Ali: you’ll be like that too, I know it

Johnny: [pop off telling her more about yours because she’s never gonna get to hang with any of your fam so all you can do is talk about them]

Ali: You’re really lucky

Johnny: It don’t mean they’re happy, no telling really

Ali: People of that generation’d never say, like, right

Ali: said like it’s better now, loads of people are faking it

Johnny: But we’re not, why I like you, you’re to remember that

Ali: I won’t make you tell me all loads

Ali: only needy in the good ways

Johnny: Must be lucky how you said there

Ali: No, me

Ali: That can be a fight, that

Ali: won’t crack any 🥚🥚s and I’ll win

Johnny: Big talk for a little girl

Ali: Yeah, ‘cause I can when you protect us from everything 🥰🥰🥰

Johnny: You’ll take that too far

Ali: Nothing’s too much for you 💪

Johnny: Laying it on with a trowel but you’re not wrong

Ali: Do you want me to be mean to you again?

Ali: I can’t help how I feel right now, thinking about you 

Johnny: You want to

Ali: What would have you reckoning that?

Johnny: It’s how you feel, thinking about me

Ali: Mean?

Ali: I’m gonna make you [something off the list you both liked] like an 😇

Johnny: Will you?

Ali: Be mean to you or cook for you? 

Ali: what do you think I was in Tescos for, dope

Johnny: Who are you calling names again?

Johnny: I don’t know that you can cook without burning the place down

Ali: That’d be arson, kicking the 😈 up a bit too far, don’t you think, babe

Johnny: I reckon if we can’t have it nobody else should

Ali: We could move it, if we found somewhere we wanted to be

Johnny: Are you wanting to stay put?

Ali: I don’t know that yet, the roadtrip was too fun for me to think yeah but

Ali: what if we found a perfect place, that matched our place, we can be how we are in there everywhere

Johnny: We’ve time to decide

Ali: We can do it all, we’ve got time, if we want it

Johnny: I want it

Ali: I do too, more than anything

Ali: Don’t change your mind

Johnny: I can’t, Ali

Ali: I can’t feel bad enough about it to stop myself, I need you

Johnny: I need you more

Ali: I’m yours forever, all yours

Ali: as well as nearly there, on a less serious note

Johnny: It’s proper serious, I’m waiting

Ali: Patiently?

Johnny: Patient as I’ve got it in me to be

Ali: That’s a hard no then, good

Ali: Hang on 😼😻🥴

Johnny: Hurry yourself up or I’ll fetch you from Tescos

Ali: Quiet yourself and quit distracting me, boy

Johnny: [Send her a very distracting picture like you owed her that for killing you at work before when you simply had to come home at lunch about it]

Ali: Fuck me

Johnny: When you come home to me

Ali: [get yourself here and hide your bike up and just about get these groceries on the counter undoubtedly]

Johnny: [looking at this lil food shop so sassily for a sec like careful with your eggs gal, but then we all know he’s doing his LINGERING looking up and down of her how he do cos she’s been out in the world looking however she looks rn and he wants to see]

Ali: [as you had to either go into school to show you still exist or at least go home and pretend you had been to school, you’re probably in your uniform, even if you’ve brought things to change into so soz not soz how blatantly flirty that seems of us, have to be LOOKING at you too, comparing how you looked in that photo to how you do in front of us right now]

Johnny: [we love to see it because idk if he ever actually has yet with how rarely this girl is in school in this era lol, even if he has though, LOOKING like it’s the first time ofc and patting the space next to him wherever he is currently having made himself comfy to wait for her]

Ali: [the only reason you would have is when you were stalking her in the bad times blatantly because was the first few months of school then but you haven’t seen it in person clearly, so come skipping over ‘cos too happy right now, smiling at him with full heart eyes, scanning his face to make sure you didn’t bruise him with your earlier antics because a possibility]

Johnny: [ah yes those bad times, you would have only seen it from afar then sir so enjoy your close up, especially because I know you will have bruised her somewhere whether from your insane kissing antics or lovebites or when you fully hit her, so that + this school uniform is immediately sending him and the way he’s looking at her rn is obscene]

Ali: [cannot handle anything about the way you’re looking at us, the blushing is so real as well as the !! noise you make which is probably meant to be like oi, you stop that but it is simply just a noise]

Johnny: [just dragging her even closer to him and kissing her everywhere there’s blush or bruise so indecently, no notes]

Ali: [when cuddling into his of course turns into you sneaking your hands under his clothes to feel what you did earlier on his chest because how else can we express the way we’re DYING than remind you of that ‘how has it only been [however many hours since lunch]?’ casually feeling like forever with how much you’ve missed him]

Johnny: [his own hand going under this school skirt to feel his initials and hand print, shamelessly loving how easy this outfit makes it for him to do ‘and [however many since he did this]?’ because not at all over it or anything they ever do]

Ali: [have to use this as an excuse to be in his lap instead of next to him, shifting with the GASP you do about the reminder and the contact ‘too long’ looking up at him ‘but you’re here now’ kissing him on the lips very restrained given how !! you are you’re practically vibrating from the holding back]

Johnny: [doing his own v restrained booty slap as they kiss because she said it had been too long but we’re matching her vibe instead of being feral ASAP, plus when that’s not loud af you can hear the noise he does because of her basically vibrating cos obvs loves it, his other hand going under her shirt to touch the name on her chest because he hasn’t yet, doing that so slowly but with more intensity because his fingers are pressing in slightly, not yet enough to be !! or make her bleed all over this white shirt though]

Ali: [however restrained, we still have to moan about it because the anticipation is working overtime, pressing back into his hand harder about it, then immediately having to press your chest up into that hand so you’re just moving against him at that point, doing a little lol like whoops, kissing him even smaller, really just doing little kisses but against his lips only]

Johnny: [we can all pretend he’s moving against her in response to her moving against him but the truth is that it’s in response to those little kisses and the softness and the giveaway is that he calls her the most special of his secret lingo words for baby about it, not quite as a moan but so !!]

Ali: [doing the softest but most insistent bite of his bottom lip because the not-so-secret kills you every time, very slowly bending down to take off your pants without moving from his lap or taking any of your other clothes off, doing a hiss about the contact when you fully sit yourself back down after this ‘daddy’ as you’re wrapping your arms around his neck and playing with his hair]

Johnny: [doing the moan he didn’t quite do a second ago about all of this, quietly but it’s even more !! and intimate feeling for that like there’s somebody else here and he only wants her to hear it, at the very least you don’t want the rest of the site to be hearing y’all yet, playing with her hair too not even realising you’re in sync just wanting to and wanting her as close again so pressing his forehead to hers too whilst his hands stay buried there]

Ali: [the combination of a BIG BREATH and a happy sigh because you’re just that content but also can’t pretend we’re not unreasonably turned on by you at all times including and especially now, here having a snuggle but it’s also indecent because you can’t help but be moving against him at all times ‘your eyes are so dark’ whilst you’re in this forehead press and just STARING into them ofc]

Johnny: [STARING back into hers as if to say how light and blue hers are in comparison but without saying it because he simply has to press his cheek against hers where she’d have a bruise if she has one from him hitting her whether she does or not and then kiss her on the mouth with the same energy as his indecent cheek kisses because the eye contact is overwhelming when he feels this overwhelmed by her which is always but especially rn and I don’t trust what this boy might say lol]

Ali: [I imagine you do, ‘cos why not, not saying you’ve got a full black eye situation but you know, enough that y’all can see and know where and why she does, unthinkingly tightening your grip in his hair as these kisses go harder and more out of control because your grip on that was loose at best ‘you said’ into this kiss because we know you’re referring to the last thing he messaged you that had you zooming here]

Johnny: [a look around at their surroundings + the shopping and then back at her ‘you are home’ because gotta call it their home again just to say that because into it obvs, kissing her again harder, holding both sides of her face and pressing his fingers into the bruise like he did into her name before, not really hard but hard enough as he’s giving her what she wants, whether he was fully naked waiting here or like her he has underwear that’s the only thing he’s taking off, maybe we’ll say that’s the case cos we love a parallel, but anyway, then they are going at it]

Ali: [doing your furious nod ‘ with you’ because gotta say anywhere with you will be, of course, the strained noise as you grit your teeth, not making it clear if it's from the bruise press or him entering you, is clearly both, got to be giving him all the lovebites wherever we can because feel like we’re going to crumble our teeth with how hard we’re grinding them together right now]

Johnny: [say it back because it’s just another way to say she’s yours to you, literally said you’re with me right at the start of jali so, but we all know how it sounds because of the lovebites she’s giving wherever they are, unthinkingly pressing his fingers into his name on her chest hard enough to actually make her bleed all over this white shirt this time and then of course MOANING when he realises that’s happened because thinking about if she had to wear that to school even though she realistically will not because imagine peeps would be like ummm, could not be moving more or harder about it, grabbing his initials with his other hand to see if they’ll bleed too]

Ali: [when you have to stop your own feral attack to LOOK at him because you’re having the same thoughts and feelings about this and you are OBSESSED with it, here giving him ALL the help you can in this endeavour, as if the noises you’re making and way you frantically picked up the pace aren’t both dead giveaways, going for his chest in the same way, just so you can have his blood on this ruined shirt too because so important to us]

Johnny: [I don’t even need to say he’s as obsessed, letting the blood from the initials run down all over her and him because that’s a mood but licking it off her chest so that there’s blatantly gonna be his spit ending up on this shirt too because that’s also a mood and the point, getting so much blood on his mouth with this endeavour which is then getting all over her face and neck because he’s kissing her everywhere, simply must, the blood that’s on his hand from holding her booty before leaving fingerprints all over her from where he’s grabbing her waist as they move]

Ali: [making the most mess, me like so glad you didn’t get your nice bedsheets and shit yet honey because the way you’d be doing all the stain removal immediately lol, no fucks given regardless because we couldn’t be happier and more out of our mind with all that we’re doing here ‘the smell-’ as something vaguely coherent amongst the sheer nonsense and noise because that much blood that the metallic smell is in the air and you can’t handle how into you are]

Johnny: [oh I’d be so cross if they were trashing this bed and she had, jali could not give a single fuck though, the way this would be reminding you of halloween with the fake blood so doing some kind of throwback move to one of your hookups then that I can’t remember but he would because it wasn’t long ago to y’all, but also it’s totally different because the blood is real and he’s likewise losing it so much harder for that, nuzzling into her with his nose as well as his mouth to emphasise this because can’t be coherent but need to let her know we agree despite how obvious it is]

Ali: [the fact halloween seems so long ago and yet will only have been a week after your bonfire night party is WILD and wilder still is y’alls feral arses, nuzzling is so the right word because you’re not remotely thinking about the way you’re touching him and sensing him in every way you can, you’re just doing it like an animal, without regard to how insane it could look, saying his name like it’s the only word you know because the only clear thought you are having is all him and only him]

Johnny: [that is truly madness given how extra y’all have been since you got back together then, I’m loling, and yeah, really living your best feral lives here because he could not give less of a fuck either, god bless, nobody needs to hear you pair while they are just trying to have dinner or whatever so please don’t be screaming the place down at least boy]

Ali: [my boo says have some decorum, at least you’re being unhinged mostly in what you’re doing right now, like it’s private somehow in ways some of your other hookups have not been, just for y’alls eyes the absolute scenes you have created here on this day, are saying ‘I can never go back’ though, in reference to the state of you, like your parents, your school, anyone and everyone is gonna be like HELLO]

Johnny: [it’s kind of adorable actually that you’re wanting to keep it so private, like it’s not that entirely the wrong word for these feral scenes, but you know ‘you’ve no need’ in relation to anywhere, keeping her forever, really adding unnecessary emphasis with the way he’s then trying to make her swallow the key so she has no way out, just adding to this carnage, but we all know he’s so serious and would run away with her right this second ‘you’re where you belong’ because here and with him and to him]

Ali: [try not to actually swallow it girl, whilst you’re giving it that you will because duh, gotta prove we’re as serious here even if it’s attempting something dangerous to our health, you can cough it up dramatically though, really add to the insane vibes here on this day, make him comfort you because yes, nowhere else to be ‘you promise?’ sounding hoarse af from all this]

Johnny: [me like don’t end up in a&e please, Rocky is already getting hurt on bonfire night which isn’t far away, pressing their chests together like a promise as he rubs her back and makes all the comforting noises ever and holds her to him and is obvs also kissing her throat better, first on the outside and then inside with the unhinged but soft kisses he’s trying to do]

Ali: [good thing you will be unable to talk with these deep af kisses because you would be being so ridiculously extra about your feelings right now and that’s obvious from the whining you are still just able getting from your mouth into his, squeezing around him so tightly like you will never let go]

Johnny: [mhmm it’ll be a good thing that you have to stfu for a minute as well hun because I don’t trust you ever but especially when feelings are this high, instead just be here trying to merge together with how close you are trying to be in every single way]

Ali: [enjoy your hookup and how you’ve never felt closer in so many senses lads, you don’t need to be able to say shit for y’all to know and us to know that it’s never been so intense and your feelings have never been realer]

Johnny: [I honestly love it for you because there’s no telling how long it will last with this boy and his intense moods so, truly while it does make the most of it, and when you’re done he can finally be nosy about what she brought from big tesco]

Ali: [following him to get him out like he’s a child trying to find the treats you’ve clearly also bought as well as ingredients like don’t spoil your dinner, tutting and shaking your head like honestly but we’re grinning like a massive nerd]

Johnny: [finding wherever his abandoned clothes pile is when she’s shooed him and getting out some money from his trouser pocket to give her for what he’s estimated this food costs based on the quick look he had because he meant that about her never paying for anything tis the gypsy boy way]

Ali: [we’re taking it because it is cultural truly and we’re not going to insist on paying just for the sake of it here, giving him a kiss on the cheek how he likes to as you put this money in your purse/bag/whatever ‘should only take [however long, you clearly picked something easy because don’t actually wanna slave over this and not be with this boy]’]

Johnny: [we all know she wasn’t wrong when she said before about how he never stops and relaxes so finding some little diy job in this caravan that’ll take him as long as the food will take her to make, so domestic of you lads, I stan]

Ali: [smiling at him sneakily ‘cos he’s just like you for real, when are you ever stopping a day in your life ‘you’re not going to watch me to make sure I know what I’m doing here?’]

Johnny: [I like to think he’s picked a diy job to do that still keeps her in his line of sight because that sort of bear so looking up from what he’s doing, and WATCHING her so intensely that she’s gonna blush again]

Ali: [flicking a tea towel type thing even if it’s actually a rag more likely in his direction like stop it you but also purposefully giving him a show to watch in a way you don’t need to to be cooking this meal]

Johnny: [laughing as if he’s doing it for oh you what are you like vibes but really it’s simply a hot lol for the show she’s giving ‘you’ll be decent at it’ echoing when she said he’d be a good husband earlier when they were having that discussion, could be casual and bants re this show but it absolutely isn’t, just saying she’ll be a good wife]

Ali: [do your blushing at this hot lol and what comes after it because still all you want is to be able to be with this boy like that and it be fine ‘you’ve taught me loads about it’ shrugging it off but as per we’re anything but casual really]

Johnny: [shrugging off what she just said and looking down to carry on his DIY task but he’s anything but casual himself about it really and that’s blatant by his hand through his hair move and how much he’s acting like he’s gotta concentrate on this when he does not]

Ali: [get back to focusing on your own task here, acting like you’re not sneakily watching him again but with a far more intense energy now, as if you can work out what he’s thinking from this alone ‘you mean it?’ Quietly whilst your back is turned to be stirring a pot or whatever as so to give casual but really you just can’t look at him and ask]

Johnny: [come up and hug her from behind while she’s stirring or whatever cos yeah he do mean it so hard he’s gotta express it like this instead of just saying yeah or something]

Ali: [doing a happy sigh as you’re leaning back into him, pulling his head to yours so you can rub your cheek against his before giving it a kiss ‘it had to be you’ because you know there are families and boys where this would be easier but even if you could change that you wouldn’t and that’s very clear in your tone and how you’re running your hands over his arms that are around you]

Johnny: [not even aware he’s doing his own happy sigh to echo hers, but very aware he’s turning her cheek kiss into a real af mouth one after she’s said that because it’s everything, just making out with so much feeling until a pot boils over or something and y’all have to stop so she can deal with that like lol oops]

Ali: [‘that was your fault’ like FYI but we are amused and cleaning up the mess with our tea towel moment so neither of you gets scalded here hopefully lol ‘I’m otherwise entirely in control and know what I’m doing’ bigging ourselves up but you would know how to cook, none of you can afford not to]

Johnny: [holding his hands up like he did at halloween as he walks backwards to wherever his DIY task is so he can keep looking at her with an unrepentant smirk until he’s focusing on said task again and letting her finish hers]

Ali: [checking him out as entirely unrepentantly because you can and that makeout was everything and you’re not over it just because this pot decided to be the drama, but get this dinner cooked and plated on whatever plates you either picked up from a vintage shop or brought from your own collection to here, gonna dip in and say he was fixing the table moment because that could be an easy task and is also then just perfect timing for him to finish so y’all can eat this food]

Johnny: [love the way you think boo, that’s adorable and I second it, meanwhile I’m gonna say he gets one of the candles that didn’t entirely melt down to nothing on halloween night and puts it in the middle of the table for that throwback to the peak romance of their candlelit encounter and the vibe of it being an almost dead but not quite candle just there chilling and lasting the length of this meal as more perfect timing]

Ali: [you love to see it, just casually having such an immaculate night here, like, can’t even believe it levels ‘don’t you think that life should always be like this?’ because we certainly do, it’s so simple but it’s everything]

Johnny: [the vibes are always immaculate, well done lads ‘in an ideal world, it would be’ because he’d happily live like this forever but he always knows deep down that he cannot and they are on borrowed time unless they really do fully commit to running away, with a shrug as if it’s casual and not heartbreaking because just trying to eat this meal and enjoy this evening and not be sad]

Ali: [‘that’s the one I intend to live in’ with the same, we’re just having a chat, tone here; nothing is deep and neither of us is going to get hurt]

Johnny: [‘there’s only the one way for us to choose where we live’ again just HARDCORE being like okay let’s run away, as if that’s so nbd]

Ali: [‘You’re close to your family’ because we know if you did it, it wouldn’t last, saying this so lowkey sadly that you literally have to shake it off more than shrug here and carry on eating]

Johnny: [‘you’re close to your siblings’ because not only has he literally taken her to visit Joe he has also watched her from afar many a time so he’d have seen her with Tommy and Ro both I am sure, and he’s just picked up things from being obsessed with her truly, we can’t lie, saying this a touch defensively because he can’t bear it to be purely his fault if they don’t go]

Ali: [‘yeah’ doing the thing where you have more to say but what you do, you don’t want to, so it’s the one-word answer instead because yes, that isn’t a lie, shaking your head in a we can drop this way]

Johnny: [just eat your food in now awkward silence because you wanna drop this too clearly but it’s still there hanging between y’all regardless so]

Ali: [‘I’d go’ after a while because can we leave anything alone really, no, we cannot, said like you know I would ‘it’s years away anyway’ actually casual and trying to lighten the mood because you aren’t going to be separated now at any rate]

Johnny: [LOOKING up at her from this plate or wherever he’d fixed his gaze to check she’s telling the truth which ofc she is, a nod that is more meaningful than it sounds like yeah I do know you would and so would I ‘we’ll go’ like a correction because he means it in this moment even if it is years away and he can and will go back on it a million times between now and then, looking towards the equivalent location in this caravan to where he told he stashes the money he saves in his as further emphasis]

Ali: [smiling at him, quickly, then down at your plate because the smile feels massive and like you can’t fully hit him with all that right now, doing your own nod back as you look down like okay, nudging his knee with yours for your own !! emphasis]

Johnny: [no fucks given with how quickly he’s leaning over this makeshift table and holding her face, only the bruised side deliberately because as !! and simply must bring her head back up immediately ‘family’s important, how I’ve told you, but so are you’ because he has told her that and he’s told her before she’s important too, so no lies detected]

Ali: [unintentionally doing the biggest 🥺 because trying not to have a full emotional outburst moment at his face but you do have all the feelings, now more than ever ‘you know how I feel about you’ holding the opposite side of his face]

Johnny: [no notes, he’s just LOOKING at her like say it as if he’s never heard her say ILY before because that’s how not over it this boy is and how much he especially wants to hear it in this moment]

Ali: [when this table is only just fixed so you’re looking down at it with the full knowledge how easily y’all could break it, as well as the candle between y’all that’s still burning but is also potentially seconds away from being knocked over and the wax going everywhere, licking your fingers to put it out as you move around this table to sit with him ‘I love you, I’ll do what I have to to be with you’]

Johnny: [thank god she did blow that candle out because the way he’s LAUNCHING himself at her when she’s barely had chance to finish her sentence is beyond dangerous if she hadn’t, literally knocking her into and almost onto the table here with the force of it because gotta make out with her like she’s the next course of this meal y’all may or may not have finished, tearing at her clothes which would defs be thrown on top of a lit flame if she hadn’t thought ahead, that school shirt is 1000% ending up in whatever they were just eating, oh the feral but immaculate vibes]

Ali: [thank god you have quick reflexes so you two can end up on the floor if needs be if the alternative is through the table right now, not that it’d stop you and we all know and love that, the way this shirt is never going to be fully clean again, we live, soz fam, no thoughts to y’all available when we’ve gotta be exorcising all the awkward energy from this room by being feral with how we’re making out and trying to physically and permanently attach ourself to this boy lowkey]

Johnny: [mhmm it has to be done and me and this boy are avoiding the ILY curse via the most indecent makeout sesh and inevitably ensuing hookup, soz not soz, just frantically going at this like it’ll get rid of his insanely intense feelings instead of heightening them, it’s fine, we cope how we cope] 

Ali: [‘do you want me to say it more? Tell you what I would do for you, how much?’ because you have the opposite of an ILY curse when it’s this blatant how much he likes it now]

Johnny: [whatever enthusiastic response he was going to give instead being the most enthusiastic noise is the only acceptable answer there so have that gal, along with it going without saying he’s also continuing to do the most in every single other way as encouragement she doesn’t need to be running her mouth about this]

Ali: [you have to make your own noises about this before you can remotely say shit though because how aggressively hard y’all are going at this would make it hard to speak, however much you have to say, like ‘you deserve me making you as happy as you make me, all the time’]

Johnny: [me so sadly here like RIP to those vintage plates because in no world does this boy not have her fully on this table until or unless it collapses, is nothing sacred sir, the answer is no obvs, all he cares about is being a feral heathen, I’m sure it’ll break and literally everything will fall to the floor and they still won’t stop because he couldn’t love her more rn and this is the only way to deal with and express that]

Ali: [it’s your place, trash it if you gotta, lads, we understand, obviously this is sending us because the intensity, how could it not ‘the more bruised the better, is it?’ ‘cos lord knows the damage and we know it is, hence the ridiculously insane heart eyes too]

Johnny: [‘you’ve school in the morning’ taking a phrase that is usually used as a reason for a no to be SUCH a yes is a move I wholeheartedly respect sir, because the shirt got them so hard earlier and is only now more trashed and duh he loves the idea of her being there all bruised and blatantly belonging to him, me like I hope if you do go into school nobody in charge notices though cos that’s an awks convo lol]

Ali: [‘no one is going to fuck with me when they see what you do to your baby’ as you’re moving his hands to every significant mark you have on you by this point like remember, as if either of you has forgotten anything]

Johnny: [PRESSING into every single one so hard how she showed him as if they’d have any chance remotely to fade at all between now and school starting in the AM, just gotta do it, leaving more lovebites along the way anywhere he feels like also needs one/there’s a glaring neglected space, going IN on some, doing quick nips for others just depending how he feels cos gotta keep this girl on her toes always]

Ali: [GASPING ‘I’ll press on them every time I miss you, I promise’ like they are going nowhere because that’s going to be constant, the way we can’t guess what you’re going to do next having us beyond overwhelmed ‘all I do is miss you ‘til we’re back together’]

Johnny: [cutting his palm open and then hers with this key in the deliberate cliche we’re doing a blood pact manner so there’s 0 confusion, the effort that would take because it’s not that sharp just adding to it for you both, pressing them together and linking their fingers in the most dramatic handhold ever of all time, ofc he’s holding the other one and fully pinning her to this table with it, no fucks given to everything that’s on there or the fact it’ll likely collapse]

Ali: [licking a drop of blood that escapes down his arm hungrily because did not get enough of this earlier and couldn’t be clearer how anything and everything means just that, the sound we’re making as we dramatically big swallow, SQUEEZING your hands together to a painful degree ‘tell me what you want me to promise’ like do it because we will rn immediately]

Johnny: [his eyes could NOT be darker or more unblinking than they are during that big swallow, so about it and the painful element she has added to this already intense af handhold, the sound of their bloody hands squeezing together is somehow even more extra than the sound of their bodies and we love that ‘you know what I’m after from you, all of it’ like that’s a fact because it feels like it is, she just be knowing things and he’s been that shamelessly blatant]

Ali: [‘I’d let you do all the things you’re thinking about when you look at me like that’ so seriously because his eyes get us and we can’t think of a boundary which should be scary but it just isn’t ‘you already have all of it, just ask for what you think is missing and I’ll give it to you’]

Johnny: [‘nothing’s missing’ as seriously because how he feels here and now, in this moment he has everything he could possibly want and can’t think of more to ask for, idk why I’m emosh about that, excuse me, okay wait no, I feel like this should be the moment y’all actually fully fall through this table, which has clearly been threatening to break for a minute but y’all probs thought wouldn’t since it’s still hanging in there unlike when the plates went crashing to their deaths, RIP, and still don’t care or let it stop you because how cinematic truly]

Ali: [you’re going to have to kiss him with the slowness and softness nothing else about this exchange contains because likewise emotional and it is the only appropriate response, never mind the casual extreme restraint that would require when you two are literally smashing things up here]

Johnny: [I love the softness while y’all are surrounded by absolute carnage so continue having a really soft and loving makeout while you’ve literally fallen through a table to the floor, excellent vibes, especially considering you haven’t stopped fucking and couldn’t be harder rn]

Ali: [so cinematic, well done lads, the way we’re repeating ILY is also so quiet but desperate too because what else could possibly be done when you’re here dying this hard]

Johnny: [throw out your secret lingo wife word for the second time because you’ve done baby again earlier, she doesn’t know what this one means yet but we do and also it’s kind of blatant from the context clues you always give sir, being panted out essentially because dying in all the ways here, emotionally and physically]

Ali: [we’re not going to be shook when we know what the actual word means because we completely understand the energy here and always, hence it’s definitely going to make you cum right now after all that tension and the release, at least you’re both that blatant because no hiding what tipped you over the edge there]

Johnny: [mhmm it’ll only be confirming what she already knows and what she hopes is true, you’re welcome for that gal cos imagine if he was saying really mean shit, thankfully not though, and her cumming and why can also finish this boy off too which is nice, I can’t decide if I think you shouldn’t pull out for the peak romance or if he should to add to the carnage, take that to a vote lol]

Ali: [lol that would be really awkward for you to address so thank god we don’t need to, hmm, really can make a case for both because on the one hand you’re basically in your we’re running away and getting married headspace so duh, impregnate her too casually but on the other hand it’s always a good show of this is how you wanna do it and your rules and that you’re in control to not so, flip a coin lowkey, I can see either rn]

Johnny: [exactly that ^^ because I 1000% believe y’all will run away when she does get preggo only to have to come back when she loses it because he thinks he’s being punished by god, but also yeah, it’s also a mood and a moment for him to aim it at the plate she previously ate off of, however many pieces said plate might be in atm, let’s go for option 2 the absolute feral hog heathen choice, why not]

Ali: [mhmm, oh what a time that will be, lordy my, meanwhile in the here and now my only concern is you not cutting your tongue on the pieces of this plate ‘cos of course you gotta do it, just so you can hot lol as you only now fully take in the extent of the carnage y’all have created like damn, okay]

Johnny: [Winnie will be beside himself, but in the here and now watch this gal do what we knew she would which is why he did it there specifically instead of somewhere else amongst this carnage like on her poor fucked up school shirt RIP to that too, and then pick her up and lift her out of this carnage like you’ve only now considered she could get hurt and put her on y’all’s new bed, take your own sec once you have to look at the carnage properly and grin at her]

Ali: [just here happy rolling in this bed like a Maggie baby tbh, because can’t deal with the way he looks right now, still we must do grabby hands gesturing like get in this bed also because can’t stand any distance either ever]

Johnny: [do get in it boy and pull her to you, resting her head on his chest where her name is obvs, just having a snuggle pause]

Ali: [just be here kissing the palm of his hand like yours isn’t also cut and he wasn’t the one that did it, being the cuddliest ever]

Johnny: [kiss hers too cos you did do it and you’ve gotta kiss it better while you’re lying here cuddling and trying to recover]

Ali: [‘I can’t decide if that means you really liked it or really hated it’ gesturing with a lil head nod towards the carnage you’ve left behind, as if that was all just a reaction to dinner, giving him a lil head butt in the chest like oh you]

Johnny: [doing his own hot lol because imagine if it was just a reaction to dinner, ruffling her hair like oh you but really he’s just grabbing it and running his fingers through it almost immediately after that because distracted by how much he stans her hair always]

Ali: [leaning into it because feels good, doing contented hums and closing your eyes, scratching your own nails up and down his thighs and stomach just because you love him and he’s right there ‘what would you do if I cut all my hair off?’ as one of those silly what-ifs you throw out when you’re just chilling, living laughing loving]

Johnny: [‘I’d not let you’ like that’s a fact and therefore this what if can not happen, because he can’t help being intense even when he’s chilling and the most relaxed he can possibly be]

Ali: [tickling his sides because you think he’s adorable no matter how intense, always, kissing his ears in the same, trying to be annoying but is just being cute, vibe ‘I never would’ because we also like our hair so don’t you worry]

Johnny: [wriggling as if it’s because of the tickling but really he’s simply getting more of his body wrapped around hers for the snuggle of it all and the intense closeness always, pushing her hair behind her ears as she’s kissing his and kissing her on the forehead for the peak little girl and good girl energy of what she said because he approves]

Ali: [when you can’t shiver to full potential because of how tightly he’s holding you but this means he’s going to feel it and absorb what couldn’t fully be expressed there, playing with a strand of his hair that you had to move out of your way to kiss his ear ‘how long has yours been long?’]

Johnny: [‘from when I had my own say’ because when he was little his mum would have decided on what she thought his hair should be like which is usually always short for lil boys unless you’re a type of bitch and doing something, I’m sure you and your brother and cousins basically had identical haircuts whatever those looked like and you can tell Alison that info like lol imagine that please, you can compare it to any younger brothers and cousins she’d have seen running around like it was exactly that vibe basically]

Ali: [just imagining him as young as those little kids and smiling to yourself because it’s a cute mental image, you can tell him about the severe bob era of your own childhood, like thanks for that one mother lol]

Johnny: [just be exchanging childhood stories in a similar vein that I won’t commit us to, just falling in love and getting to know each other on a deeper level nbd]

Ali: [it’s totally fine, not at all getting in deeper and deeper here, soz not soz everyone else]

Johnny: [but at some point, probably mid one of these anecdotes you’re telling her, yawn your word you were on because it’s not a copout to say he’d be tired after everything but it is a way I can wind down this convo]

Ali: [good thinking honey, catch us tucking you in, taking off any clothes you may or may not have on if needed, snuggling into you even harder about it like come on you, bedtime]

Johnny: [catch this boy holding onto the key as he falls asleep so she can’t sneak out, as if she ever would lol, I hope it’s with the hand that you didn’t cut open but knowing you sir it’s probably the one you did, keeping things intense even now, holding her so tightly with the other one even though she’s wrapped round him still]

Ali: [once again where are your parents honey, acting like you’re grown and don’t have a home you gotta get back to at some point, as well as school]

Johnny: [it would be laughable if it wasn’t so unfunny, she’s not even hit her teens yet, oh mcvickers what are you doing truly, Tess I know you’ve lost it because you lost a child but like, come on now are you trying to lose all your others, soz not soz this boy is gonna have the best sleep of his life though]

Ali: [likewise, could not be happier about all we’re being allowed to get away with right now, trying not to be creepy but are so watching this boy fall asleep until we also do]

Johnny: [once a creepy girl always a creepy girl, good work though gang, we did it]

[disaster-lineage]

rules: tag 10 people you want to get to know better!

tagged by @anewhope @mandoworryan @orla-mcool @djarin <3

relationship status: single

favorite color: PURPLE 💜

favorite food: uuuhhh idk, anything pasta

song stuck in your head: currently is drivers license by olivia rodrigo

last thing you googled: headache at back head (i’ve had a bad headache and i am also a hypochondriac skdkflfl)

time: 12:49 pm

dream trip: anywhere near water but specially I’d like to go to Italy some day

last book you read: reread of emerald blaze by ilona andrews

last book you enjoyed reading: is it cheating if I say the same as above??? aldjdkfk I just have a very bad memory

last book you hated reading: ummm honestly don’t know because unless it’s something that makes me really anger I just forgot complete forgot about

favorite thing to cook/bake: ooohh I love baking in general but the past few year I have been trying to perfect making pies (tragically I have not done this yet)

most niche dislike: this might be specific to me but people thinking i’m like super pure or this moral paragon just because I’m very reversed and try to be understanding??? like I don’t know how to explain this in context it’s very weird but a lot of people at my work and in my family seem to think that I’ve had a negative thought or struggle with my decisions and I don’t understand why??? tbf tho my enneagram is type one sooooo it probably does seem that way even tho I am very much not aldkffk also did not mean to make this answer so long and personal so I’m gonna go hide now skdkfk

opinion on the circus: I mean like circus do not have a great history (I am 100% not an expert on this so please check me if I’m wrong and only recently stopped using elephants and other animals in show but I also haven’t looking into their current info on circus so like idk, they could be fun if they’re ethical???

do you have a sense of direction: alskdkfkfk no, I get lost going to places I’ve been…several times….I’m kind of a disaster wkskkdlf

tagging @fawad-khan @haydencristensen @patrick-stewart @daenerys-targaryen @exiles @kenobiis @capinejghafa @carlos-reyes @skywalkeurs @juliettes-fairmont <3

[nephaelia-sims]

Sims mod ideas:

Make Vampires Better Parents mod

Stop Eating the God Damn Plasma Fruit Salad mod

Stop Dying In The Sun Autonomously mod

Put On Your Coat Young Man/Lady mod

Program Your Servos to Know that Shower WooHoo is Bad For Them mod

details/commentary under the cut lol

Make Vampires Better Parents mod- even vampire children need sleep and human food and to keep on a normal schedule so they can go to school! In my experience vampires are not the best at this. They can be amazing, loving, caring parents and still they will forget to cook any human food for their kids and wake them up at 2 am to play chess or some shit. Obviously if you’re controlling the household it’s not always a huge issue, but it is if you have like 4 adult vampires in the house and a couple children, and all the adults want to do is talk to/parent/play with the kids all the time.

Stop Eating the God Damn Plasma Fruit Salad mod- I would understand the first time an unsupervised child (or an adult who doesn’t know about plasma fruit) attempted to eat plasma fruit salad, but unless you’re like a toddler (and it was left out unattended and you somehow got into it, or a dumb adult served it to you) you would LEARN after the first time not to eat it!! Even if it’s the last food in the fridge, you’d get a quick meal instead, ask an adult for food, or cook food yourself!

Stop Dying In The Sun Autonomously mod- Now I don’t mean the whole neighborhood stories dying in accidents thing, that’s fine (there are obviously scenarios where that would be plausible as a real accident). I mean legitimately, purposefully, standing in the sun when your vampire energy is low until you literally die. I have SEEN IT HAPPEN THREE TIMES NOW and that is THREE TIMES TOO MANY. One time a vampire got home from work and instead of running inside, decided to hang out on the sidewalk for NO DAMN REASON. Another time, Vladislaus Straud went to Bufo’s meet and greet at the pool (there was a lot of shade there so I thought it’d be fine!!!!) and stood directly in the sun (and he has at least one weakness to sun iirc). The third time, Lilith came to the Forsythe house without me knowing and started working on the rocket ship in broad daylight!!! (Thankfully Caleb was there with his death flowers he got from gardening....)

Put On Your Coat Young Man/Lady mod- this is something I fix currently with MC Dresser, and can even be fixed with in-game testing cheats iirc? but it’s annoying af to have to notice every time a random sim is about to die because their stupid ass is wearing a bikini in a blizzard. Tbf it can be kind of morbidly funny sometimes, but it happens SO OFTEN that it’s just ridiculous, and it doesn’t seem to matter how “smart” a sim is (be it book smart or outdoors-smart- if they’re a genius, or they have a high logic skill, or if they love the outdoors, or if they are a great skiier...). It should at least depend on that (I know that’s asking a lot but I like to dream big, sue me)

Program Your Servos to Know that Shower WooHoo is Bad For Them mod- this sounds ridiculous, but.... I have autonomous woohoo on, and one of Kaeru’s partners is a servo. They were in her dorm, and suddenly they do the “YEAH let’s DO IT” animation and I’m like “UH WHERE YALL GOING” and I watch in shock and awe as they start going into the fucking shower. SURPRISING TO NO ONE, not a second later they come out and the poor servo is broken, and I have Kaeru start fixing them right away. Kaeru is studying physics (handiness, rocket science, and ROBOTICS) and the servo IS A SERVO who I believe was ALSO STUDYING PHYSICS. OF ALL PEOPLE THEY SHOULD KNOW!!!

So first I’d need to be able to actually mod Sims. Tbf I haven’t done much research, I am v chaotic and usually try to figure shit out first lol, should probably just look it up XD Because from a quick look all the game scripts are in .pyc and thus I can’t just look at them and edit them with VSCode because they’re all just like weird characters and shit so iirc they’re compiled python, so I need some kind of decompiler? and then there’s probably a better way to do it than that anyway lol like it’s not like to add mods to your game you have to actually edit the real game files?

Anyway these are just ideas right now. I don’t think they exist yet. If they do or you’re working on something lmk because I’m super interested obviously! Also I would love some friends to talk about sims related programming/etc stuff with ;u;

[rotationalsymmetry]

I had some thoughts about gender as I was trying to fall asleep last night. (And I did the responsible thing and prioritized sleep over posting, and I still want to post now even though it is later and my brain rarely holds on to motivation for this sort of thing longer than whenever the next distraction is. Miracles sometimes happen.)

So, nail polish. I like nail polish. But I started getting into nail polish as an adult, and there’s sort of a social expectation that when you’re a kid or maybe a college student, nail polish can just be about fun and personal enjoyment, but by the time you start holding down jobs nail polish should look “professional” or be absent. Relatively subtle (boring) colors, no chips, etc.

Anyways, as somebody new to nail polish (and tbf, most of the time someone who wasn’t “employed”), my nails often didn’t actually look very good, and I was more interested in having fun and experimenting and doing artsy things than in it looking, well, polished. Still am. I got dark blue nails with holo topcoat right now. Topcoat that got smudged a lot while it was drying.

Early on I decided I was going for “interesting” rather than “perfect”, and that’s spared me a lot of stress when something goes wrong. As it often does.

I think gender can be looked at the same way. There’s different ways to do gender, and one is about being polished and looking good while staying within societal rules. And one is about making your own damn self happy. And while people just don’t start identifying as trans unless they’re giving a lot of weight to their own happiness over fitting in, right, this is actually mostly independent of being trans vs cis, cis people also have a choice about whether they want to experience their gender primarily in terms of measuring up to societal standards or primarily in terms of pleasing themselves.

You can experience gender a la carte, based on what does and doesn’t make you happy.

For guys, this can look like: am I a sports fan kinda guy or a nerdy kind of guy or both or neither, am I a car appreciation guy or not, how much do I care about being a husband and/or father and what kind do I want to be, how much do I care about things like how I dress and how my home is arrayed, and if I do care do I prefer a fancier aesthetic or a more casual aesthetic or something else, what do I want to do about hair on my face and about hair on my head, what is my relationship to conflict and violence going to be, what is my relationship to my emotions going to be, what is my relationship to my own health going to be, what is my relationship to relationships going to be.

For gals, this can look like: maybe I like long skirts but not sexy mini skirts, maybe I like mini skirts and girlboss feminism but don’t expect me to cook, maybe I love cooking but will not smile at strangers or refuse to interrupt when everyone else is doing it, maybe I barely even know what mascara is but am more interested in forming connections with other human beings than with career success or in looking out for #1.

(And this can get really complicated when people straddle cultures, classes, even just different families with different understandings of what men and women should be like. Sometimes you have two immigrants from the same culture marry each other and one assumes they’ll live as much like they’re grandparents as possibly and one figures the best thing about not being in the old country is you don’t have to do that any more. While pretty much everyone’s got concepts of male and female, none of them entirely match up with each other.)

And it’s not an accident that a lot of feminism is about… having women and girls take on more traditionally guy roles. More on girls playing sports and women climbing the corporate ladder than boys playing with dolls and men figuring out their feelings and working on their communication skills and caring for their one children. One of these is more in tune with the life-destroying priorities of capitalism than the other, and when you try to swim across a current you get swept downstream.

I think there’s often a strong connection between what individual people need most in the depth of their souls, and what is best for people as a whole, and one of the most important tools of societal repression is alienating people from their heart’s desires.

Which means one of the most important tools of collective liberation is reconnecting with your body and your feelings and what you want most in your life.

I didn’t get at first what queer stuff had to do with the rest of it. But that’s it, isn’t it? Not everybody is gay or trans or etc, but everybody does have some way in which who they are, fundamentally, doesn’t match who they’re supposed to be, and that difference and what you do with it matters.

[a-libra-writes]

🌸⛅🥊💋💖🏥 for Ramsay boy 😏 (sorry if it's too much, lol, I don't know if I can send several at the same time, you can just choose one, I just really liked these 😅😅)

(oh my, this is a lot! tho tbf I didn’t give a limit! 😂 okay, putting this under a cut bc its a long boi)

🌸 Kissing

Ramsay kisses you like he wants to steal your breath. It’s always so sudden, so rough, and he brings you close to him like you might run away. It’s crushing, really, so you have to push him back and breathlessly tell him to slow down.

... Does he listen? Not really. 

You usually end up pressed against his firm chest and the cold wall, holding onto him as he bites at your lips and eagerly takes your lips. He’s just as breathless as you as he bites and kisses down your neck, and you wonder what’s gotten into him this time.

In bed, it’s just as desperate, but he’ll leave hickeys and rough kisses across your neck, breasts and thighs. He’ll bite where he pleases, even drawing blood if that makes you cry out and gasp louder. 

If you sleepily give him a chaste kiss in the morning, or a sudden one on his cheek in the day, he isn’t sure what to make of it. He’ll try to initiate something deeper sometimes, but other days, he looks at you with those intense eyes, trying to puzzle you out.

⛅ Sunset

Dreary as the Dreadfort was, it was still a proper castle, and you could climb to the top of the ramparts to watch the sunset, like you used to do at your old home. When you first married Ramsay, it was one of your many escapes. You hid in one of the older parts that was crumbling and wasn’t guarded well. You could disappear for hours up here.

Ramsay ended up finding your little hiding spot, though by that point, you had learned to handle him and live with him. He didn’t understand the appeal of just sitting still and watching a sunset. He was more interested in watching you.

He used to say and do things just to upset you, to annoy you, to make you cry or scream, but you never rewarded his behavior with a response. He hated when you would ignore him, and when your attention was taken away by a sunset, he became agitated and impatient.

“Just go back to the hall, Ramsay. I’ll be there shortly for dinner.” Gods, he was so stubborn, but you wouldn’t let him take this from you.

Finally, you lost your patience and took his hand. You command him to sit and put his head in your lap. He was confused, but finally obeyed. Like a spoiled child - maybe dog was a more accurate word - he was content to sit there while you pet his hair and freely watched the sky again. You can’t believe it worked.

Sometimes that didn’t work, and he brought his bow up to shoot targets he set up below. You weren’t sure when he did that. It was hard not to be impressed with his skill, especially considering how far away they were, and he was always pleased when you paid attention to his abilities. 

🥊 Exercise/Workout

You already know the sort of things he gets up to in the forest, and you’ll have no part of it. As a result of his wild upbringing and those “hunting trips”, he’s very fit and athletic. Ramsay has a lot of energy, you learned. Not even the rain and snow will keep him cooped up.

He would be so insistent on teaching you how to use a bow. If you already knew, he’d be delighted, demanding you show him and hunt with him. But if you didn’t ... You’d find yourself in the middle of several private lessons that were almost impossible to squirrel away from. Ramsay would stand behind you, giving you surprisingly clear instructions as you learned to notch arrows and aim just right. He’d even have a bow made for your size and strength.

A good way to keep Ramsay in good spirits was to endure the lessons and shoot with him. He preferred you to kill something, like a rabbit, but shooting targets was fine enough, especially as you began to improve. 

Roose didn’t think a lady should learn such things, but you were keeping his bastard out of his hair, so he didn’t complain.

💋 Intimacy 

He is rough and there’s rarely a reprieve from that. He always holds you a little too tight, kisses a little too hard, leaves one too many marks along your neck and collarbone. It doesn’t help that he has the energy level of a terrier, so he wants to keep going well after your legs are jelly. 

It surprised you how close he wanted you, how he wanted your hands on him - he’d put them there himself if he had to. He’d want you to kiss him back, to bite him, drag your nails down his back until he bleeds. Almost like with the kissing, it was like he worried you’d just disappear into the air if he let you go for a moment.

His favorite is when you’re facing him or in his lap, so he can trap you and keep you from squirming away. He doesn’t care about children or heirs, so if you don’t want him finishing inside you, he’ll listen and do it elsewhere which is fine because he likes to lick it off you.

When you try to slow him down, try to be a little more tender, it confuses him. He gets an uncomfortable knot in his stomach, and he wonders what to do. When you hold his face gently, or brush his hair away from his sweaty brow, or gently apologize for the bright red scratches you left on him... He doesn’t know what to do. It isn’t familiar... It isn’t bad, but ... 

The nights you’re most in control is when he’s utterly exhausted, totally physically spent, but still insists on being intimate with you. That’s when you can push him on his back and tell him what you want, and he’ll go along, too intrigued and tired to argue with you.

💖 Pregnancy

No surprise, Ramsay doesn’t heed his father at all when Roose goes on about producing an heir. Seven hells, he’s only a lord in title, it’s you and Roose who are doing a majority of running the Dreadfort. Roose often directed his frustrations at you - should you fail to do your duty as a proper wife, he’d find a way for you to be ... replaced.

It’s not like it was difficult to end up with child, given how often Ramsay wanted you. It happened, and when you told him, he was confused for only a moment. Ramsay simply shrugged, saying his father would finally stop bothering the two of you about it. So that was that.

He continued to not think much about it, but then you became tired. You were so tired, so fatigued, and often forgetful. You had even less patience for his shenanigans, and when he went looking for you, a handmaiden would inform him that you retired early. As you began to show, and your fatigue increased, Ramsay finally began to accept the reality. He still didn’t think much of what it meant, he thought of it more as “Y/N will be back to her regular self once that damn pup is out of her.”

(Honestly, he had so little parental love growing up, the entire idea of parenthood and children was just ... foreign. Something he couldn’t imagine.)

Ramsay hates seeing you in distress and pain. He doesn’t understand it, and it angers him that he has these feelings, but it’s true. So when you begin to really get along in the third trimester, he frightens the servants and handmaidens into making you completely comfortable, not upsetting you, walking and talking quietly, getting you whatever you need. He’d busy himself with even more hunting, getting food you especially liked, making sure it was totally cooked so the smell wouldn’t make you sick.

Roose was surprised, but pleased. At one point he made a cold, off-hand comment about how you could die in childbirth - but as long as you had a son, it didn’t matter. Ramsay turned on him so quickly, a guard almost stepped between them. Roose blinked, unaffected, but made a mental note to ensure the maester had all the tools and supplies he needed.

🏥 Taking Care of Injuries

As stated before, Ramsay hates you being hurt. He hates that he hates this. Sometimes it makes him so angry, he has to walk away. He doesn’t understand the sick feeling he gets when you’re hurt. 

The first time you cried, he was startled. For all the times he tried to do it himself, it happened when you took a bad fall from your horse. The maester was tying your ankle, worried it was broken, and you were quietly crying as he wrapped it. Ramsay was so upset, he barked at the maester to move and did it himself. 

Ramsay is very adept at first aid, actually. He has steady hands to sew up injuries, he knows how to disinfect and change out bandages or stitches. It helped keep his victims alive, after all.

When your hands were blistered from all the archery lessons, he took them in his rough, totally calloused hands and carefully popped the blisters. You flinched and tears sprang to your eyes, and he fought back the angry bile in his throat as he patiently cleaned them and bandaged them. 

Now that you thought about it, tending to your wounds was the only time Ramsay sat still and quiet.

When you pricked your finger badly from a sewing needle or a small knife, he’d hear your quiet curse and instantly go to your side. Ramsay just had to take your finger in his mouth. He always did, looking at you with those mischievous blue eyes the whole time. 

Whenever you have a bruise from something silly, like hitting a piece of furniture, he likes to press on it. He likes the discoloration on your skin, but he doesn’t like the frown you give him. So he kisses it, playing at being sweet, only to kiss up the rest of your body and take you in a needy kiss.

[anxiety-trademark]

The week in review:

Raw 10/12 NXT 10/14 NXT UK 10/15 Smackdown 10/16

Raw:

Love that Dana and Mandy now have a theme, but drop the “Mandy” intro.

So they’re saying Miz is the reason these 2 were traded over before the draft?

Unfair nitpick: Mandy deserves to wear all the Gucci she wants, but I’m a little irritated because that’s Charlotte’s thing. I’m an idiot, I know.

I appreciate that wwe is taking this new team serious enough to give them a platform to work out any pre-teaming kinks.

Mandy doing real decent mic work. Especially compared to Lana and Dana. Good for her.

Dana needs to work on her speed.

I like the way Mandy went into that armdrag by hitting the ropes first. Point.

*Dana pins Lana*; *Mandy climbs halfway through the ropes like she might interrupt* ???

Mandy can be a decent face, why not. She’s a little bland rn but it’s a work in progress.

Like the knee strike by Mandy into the senton by Dana, especially off Mandy’s shoulders. Fine finisher.

Lol Nattie mad Lana lost them the match again. Ma’am tbf you get taken out by a punch and then crumple up into a ball far too often.

“Are you really that stupid” in kf I kinda get splitting them up, but in a meta sense, Nattie was the perfect partner for Lana.

Zelina: “Alexa Quinn seems to have a little bit of an identity crisis going on [...] she’s a joke to me,” Why do you care about Alexa Bliss? Cuz she’s cute and psychotic and makes me fear for my life, as she should for you too.

“Twisted union” omg they did dual Sister Abigails. See Zelina you should’ve just sat there and ate your food.

Zelina ran her mouth about Alexa, so Fiend accompanied Alexa in an ambush and they took out Zelina and her client together. This is precious, I love this story. Love that Fiend will do Alexa’s bidding just the same. Points.

Fitting to make Nia and Shayna the 2 hated ones in the battle royal. Still love their dynamic.

Sexy Muscles Friends rekt by Nia. Shame.

Nia is so fucking funny. Sees all of the women looking at her with fire in their eyes, and she’s like, “just breathe” before they stampede on over.

Lmfao Nia eliminated in part by Shayna. I can’t stop laughing.

WELP RIP LANA. I know who’s winning this one now.

Not an ounce of me cares about Drew and Randy brawling.

Wise of Lacey to use Nikki’s tornado ddt attempt to set her over the rope. She gets a point.

Good for Bianca getting the elimination over Shayna. Deep history there.

Love seeing Riott Squad evade each other in the ring. This spot was totally planned, but it’s still great.

Lana won by eliminating Nattie lmfao. I hate that she won cuz wow that’s an awful challenger for Asuka, but that’s hilarious karma.

Again I don’t fucking care about Drew or Randy, bye.

Highlight: Alexa & Fiend wrecking Zelina & Andrade

---

NXT:

I mean Ember should definitely be in nxt, that’s where she’ll shine. She was spinning her wheels as a mere spot monkey on the MR. If she learns how to do promos, maybe she can try up on the MR again in the future.

*The Garganos plan to overcome all odds* No.

Rhea may not own the place but she owns the division. Io may be champion but Rhea is the obvious standout. Sorry bout it.

I liked that. Challenge is made in the pc by Raquel, Rhea overhears it, and they decide to fight then and there before being held back by officials. I approve of this segment. Points.

The disrespect shown to Shotzi’s helmet. Whew what a bitch lol.

Love the block to Candice’s neckbreaker, hate how long it took Shotzi to kick Candice. Full second wasted.

Ugly suicide dive. Didn’t feel impactful whatsoever.

lol kicked out at one. Candice said fuck your suicide dive. Fair.

Candice and her sorry ass attempt at her discount Natural Selection EVERY SINGLE MATCH SHE FIGHTS IN infuriates me. Negative 3 points.

Candice’s entire demeanor isn’t buyable. Her and her slow, methodical bs style. She’d be eaten alive on the MR.

Good counter by Candice. There are high risk moves that Shotzi needs to not do on random tv matches.

Haha Shotzi kicked out of the backstabber and springboard moonsault. Good.

That moonsault is absolutely not textbook. Io’s is textbook. Lacey’s is textbook. Charlotte’s is textbook. All of them can do the backflip part perfectly aligned and straight. Candice’s is ugly as sin in comparison, only difference is hers is a springboard.

*sigh* okay so if you want to built a repertoire between Indi and Candice, having Indi give her brass knuckles to help her win the match is great. But ffs Candice, after you pop Shotzi on the apron, fucking THROW THEM DOWN ON THE GROUND and then go for the cover. How awkward, watching her hold her arm behind her back for 2 friggin minutes before giving them back to Indi. Mk.

So Toni’s entire repackage is literally JUST new music and calling herself a heel?

GREAT neckbreaker by Aliyah.

Sure whatever. Anyway.

Highlight: Raquel & Rhea pc segment

---

NXT UK:

I don’t know what’s worse; watching a long match of nothing but wrist locks and rest holds, or watching the competitors become exhausted from doing nothing but wrist locks and rest holds.

This is wrestling with no ropes, no turnbuckles, and no running allowed.

I remember once in 2019, people said Piper Niven is what wwe wants Nia Jax to be, but 10x better. You know what Nia Jax does well? Comedy. She understands how to be an entertainer. She understands how to perform in the ring without busting out that sweet workrate. Nia Jax found her niche, and that’s why she has a title rn. Piper Niven has not. In the spirit of fairness as well, the pandemic has not treated a lot of these women kindly, and it’s apparent to me that Piper has supremely suffered from it.

This makes me want to go watch Sasha vs Nia 2019. That’s how you make an intriguing match utilizing the difference in size between competitors.

Lol so Piper is in the corner, Isla hops up onto the turnbuckle in the opposite side of the ring, Piper slowly walks over and stops a mere 2 feet from where Isla is crouching up top, and then just stands there until Isla hits a meteora. Lmao. This should’ve been 3 mins with zero wrist locks. Anyway.

Highlight: the ending sequence by Piper was fine

---

Smackdown:

Great video hyping up Bianca. It’s cool to see how highly wwe rates her. Hopefully they take their time with her, because there’s still some things she needs to work on in the ring, but she has the full package imo. Just needs more time to cook.

It’s interesting how it worked out that Sasha became the queen of Hell in a Cell.

Bayley’s such an asshole, I love her so much.

“...which I did ALL BY MYSELF by the way,” lmfao PLEASE. That shit would have been gone at Wrestlemania had it not been for Sasha.

To be fucking fair, it’s buyable for Bayley to be overly paranoid and believe Sasha turning on her was inevitable, considering Sasha HAS been eyeing that title since 2019. She still stayed loyal though, Bayley. Could’ve let some nobody win it off you and then take it from them herself... but she didn’t.

The execution isn’t the best, but the points that Sasha is bringing to the table are valid. Problem is they went over 2016, 2017... and skipped to the tag titles in 2019. Y’all had ISSUES in 2018 lmao but it’s fine, we’ll pretend it never happened. Probably for the best. 6 month build that amounted to nothing other than a brilliant one liner of, “YOU AIN’T SHIT SASHA”

Lmao Bayley refusing to sign it. Bahahaha. Sasha should be calling her a chicken shit lesbireal. Coward isn’t strong enough.

Highlight: Bayley being a delusional asshole

---

*Raw shined the brightest this week thanks to Alexa and the battle royal.

[kuuderepunkin]

Ily ok I'm gonna ask for a usual match up even though I'm a 🤡 and we all know who I STAN, also through submissions bc a girl can't keep it to 500 characters apparently, ok anyway im autistic so I'm pretty quiet and not too good with people, I get super anxious in busy situations and new people, but once I get to know you I'm quite full-on, I'm quite sarcastic and a bit witty? I think I'm pretty smart tbf, some things people have said they like about me is that I'm very cultured, I stand up for what I believe in, I'm loyal and extremely selfless, I'm super self conscious but I'm also the type that's not going to change for anyone? If that makes sense? Some things I enjoy are music, cooking, anime, writing, memes and walks 😊 ok basically how you wrote my for my birthday thing (which was amazing btw omg) is pretty much exactly how I am lol for some physical things, I'm 5'4, like boob-length brown wavy hair, I'm not thin but Idk if I'd call myself chubby realistically? (my friend said I'm curvy so let's go with that) and I have a very minimal style (that's in general too, I don't like owning too many things that I know I won't use)

Ok I hope this was alright! Thank you! Also take your time there's no rush 🥰🥰🥰🥰 you're an ANGEL 

MMMM YES YES GOOD GOOD okay so I hope these are okay because you’re a sweetie and I feel like it’s hard for me to express just how much these boys may love you, since I’m kinda not well verse on romance. But you’re a cutie, and they LOVE the HECK out of you. No doubt, who wouldn’t, even as a friend. 

Haikyuu matchup: Sugawara Koushi

Honestly it was so hard to not just give you one of your stans, because I’m hardcore for “anyone can be in love, because love knows no bounds!” And I can see you with Tsuki for some of your characteristics, but I already wrote some Tsukishima x you stuff (but I’ll include some more down below ;) ). So I tried to pair you with someone I think you’d be a good fit with, but also someone unique. So I was trying to think of someone who would really compliment your interests, and so I went for Sugawara! I may be imprinting because I love his character so much, like how he’s an angel but also play with the minds of the other volleyball teams. The way they’re intimidated by him is MWAH, he’s sly and cunning despite being a huge teddy bear. He’s one of my faves and I know he’d treat you well <3 <3 <3

·         Suga is like the best friend you could ever ask for; he’s so sweet, caring, and attentive. Soft boy is always there being the mom friend.

·         When you need help communicating he will do his best to make it an easy situation. If you need him he’ll just be your voice, but if you just need him to be around for comfort he’s happy to see you try and talk in a situation you may usually be too shy to do on your own.

·         He is drawn to you because of your culture and smarts, since you don’t stand out in a crowd based on your description of a minimal style I assume he see’s your name somewhere on tested post scores or! OR Maybe you’re in the cultural club in college? Just a random thought I’m sorry.

·         You don’t have to be good with people to get along with him, he’s easy going and can usually read a person and knows what you mean even if you say the wrong set of words.

·         Always knows what to say when you get anxious, he knows if it’s okay to touch you or if that will make you panic more. If you’re upset and you’re not too panicked he will rub your back and talk to you, trying to help you ground yourself. Reminding you to try and recognize your surrounds as a tactic to pull you out of any anxiety attack.

·         “Chloe, take a deep breath I’m right here. I won’t leave your side unless you need me to grab you something. Try listing 5 things around you that you can see.” I sometimes use this tactic when I’m having a panic attack, but most of the time I forget about it. Luckily Suga knows this and is always around to help you out.

·         Once you start coming out of your shell he’s so happy to get to know the “real” you, your sarcasm, your interests, and your selfless nature- he’s happy to see you open up.

·         He too is quiet and witty, but that’s more so because he likes to listen more than he likes to talk, when it comes to dishing out the roasts. So he’s supportive of you whenever you decide to be sassy, agreeing with you and slyly remarking about how correct you are, complimenting how well you read people.

·         Suga stands by what he believes, too, which one of those things is happens to be you <3

·         He’s patient so he’s not going to jump straight into physical affection, not wanting to make you uncomfortable and willing to respect your boundaries. And once you’re ready for him to be more affectionate he goes slowly, testing the water.

·         He enjoys when you share your writing with him, he’s a smart boy and would try his best to enjoy the same activities as you. But if you’re too embarrassed to share your writing he won’t force it, it’s very intimate so he understands any hesitation you have.

·         Sugawara loves to give you hugs, you’re the perfect height for him to come up beside you and hug you from behind and rest his face in your hair.

NOW TSUKISHIMA Because my brain really was like “but they stan him how can you not include him?” *eye emoji*

·         Unlike Suga, he’s only slightly helpful when interacting with others, I feel like he doesn’t find it necessary to be involved in all conversations- if you’re too nervous to approach someone it may not be worth the conversation in the first place. That being said, if it’s because it’s a very important interaction and you’re nervous because of the gravity of it he will help by either intervening or saying what needs to be said, or he will stand by your side and nod as you make conversation. (What I mean is maybe it’s a group project and you don’t know your partner and he needs be there to help you not panic.)

·         He’s pretty withdrawn himself so if he doesn’t have to get involved in social situations he won’t because most people seem to frustrate him.

·         Tsuki is the king of sass so when you’re being witty and sarcastic he’s by your side smirking and making snide comments of his own. And the same can be said when you’re standing up for someone you believe in, even if he doesn’t have the same passion he’s there to support you by providing some smug comments.

·         Style doesn’t mean very much to him, so your minimalist style won’t bother him, but I don’t think he’d point it out either way. He’s more interested in complementing you on your personality and interests rather than how you dress or decorate.

·         He shares your love for music, so feel free to send him some song recommendations; he will do the same for you. This little nerd may act like he’s not interested in your music but if he ever needs to be reminded of you he has the songs saved because you told him about them and so now he associates you with those songs.

·         This tall dinosaur will just rest his arm on your shoulder the moment you get used to his touch; he’ll pull you close because “it’s cold outside.”

·         He will just try to avoid getting into situations that make you anxious, because he knows he’s not always the best with reassuring words. But you know he cares because he tries, despite being uncomfortable seeing you so upset and not being able to stop it.

·         Kei will sadly tease you about your taste in anime on occasion, because even the best anime can have some stupidity or plot holes in them. But that just proves he pays attention to your interests, because if he didn’t know anything he wouldn’t make these comments.

·         When you send him memes, depending on how he’s feeling you may leave you on read because it was a) ridiculous what does that even mean? Or b) send you a meme that is twice as absurd. He’s a bit meme critical because those really abstract ones are “a waste of time,” and that they don’t have a point.

·         But if you use memes to communicate your feelings of like, love maybe, he’s going to just reply normally, because he doesn’t want to give you the satisfaction of making him sappy.

·         But if you’re ever apart and he can see you’re feeling down he’ll send a wholesome meme to try and make you smile.

[butchnandos]

honest experience at oxford? just got an offer but not sure if i will enjoy it there

honestly? everyone is teetering right on the edge of burnout constantly. they teach you too quickly for you to understand any of it properly so you have to use the holidays ("vacs") to catch up. lots of independent learning, much more than I was expecting. dumb words for everything (stash, vacs, battels, scouts, JCR, crewdates, bops, collections, prelims/mods, DTB, DTBH, DTG, sub fusc etc etc etc) but you do get used to those pretty quickly tbf. lots of middle class guilt when your cleaner comes in to empty your bin/ hoover. the people are really really lovely and you get to know a lot of people a lot better than at other unis, because you all live together and eat together and your subject (at your college) is small enough that you're all friends. you also know 2nd and 3rd years at your college quite well bc of the college parents scheme, and if you're gay you also get gay parents which is double win. lots of clubbing and lots of alcohol consumption. it is really helpful having food essentially provided, and my college is pay as you go and for a proper meal for £4 cooked for me I'm not mad about it. my college is 5min walk from maccies/KFC and Tesco is like 7 mins max. contact hours vary wildly by subject - the HisPol people this term get like 3 a week, but like physics have 9-4 most days. how valuable tutorials are vary wildly by how good the tutor is (my econ one is shite and also I hate econ so double whammy). the standard of teaching is like fine, not miles ahead of other unis I wouldn't say. it's fucking wild being taught in the same rooms as some big names and the rooms are very grand. if you enjoy going at max speed for 8 weeks then sleeping for 2 then revising again, Oxford is for you. turning ox down is a pretty sick power move tbf. any questions DM me! ox is wild but generally I think I'm enjoying it, just very stressed because collections (beginning of term exams) are tmrw and I don't know shit oof and that's probably coloured my response to this question. you have plenty of time to decide whether it's for you, don't feel like you need to pick soon - for my college at least, you don't pick accomm until after results day so that's not a reason to get it in early like other unis. oh and also ox is a pretty sick flex and you're almost guaranteed a job with an ox degree if you can make it through so that's a consideration! ❤️

[velancea]

well if you insist---

had a lot of fun answering these! thank you so very much for the asks, @redwoodrroad, @aameyalli, and @disaster-bi-canach!!!

under the cut because idk how to shut up and keep things brief i’m sorry

****

How did they meet?

Through him being the wanted and her being the hunter. They first met in his lair with her hammer swingin’ and his bombs blastin’. Romance, amirite?

Who developed romantic feelings first?

Canach. He was also the first to accept and admit to them. Romance was always lost on Vel until she actually started to feel. Of course, then she just ended up trying to ignore them and avoid Canach for dumb reasoning

Who is their biggest “shipper?”

I wanna say Caithe just because she tried so damn hard to help Vel understand the romantic feelings she had early on before HoT, despite how clueless Vel is. Now she sees them together and just sorta smiles to herself cause they’ve both come so far and she’s seen much of their development alone and together firsthand

When did they have their first kiss and under what circumstances?

Maguuma. The terrible, terrible jungle. Mordremoth’s voice was so jarring and difficult to drown out, that they couldn’t sleep, and Vel joined Canach while he was on watch duty one night. This lead to them talking about everything that had been happening and how worried they were about their fates and just pouring shit out to each other. Canach kissed Vel when she leaned in and whispered for the first time of many, “make me forget.”

Who confessed their feelings first?

There was never really a true confession between them. Vel started to realize that Canach was in love with her and totally freaked out and tried like hell to distance herself from him. When in the Domain of the Lost, she saw just how much Canach was always there. She watched the memories of them together and realized she loved him. When she came back to life, she’d confess, right? Ha, wrong. She continued to avoid any alone time with him until he cornered her right before All or Nothing, where she told him that once Kralkatorrik was said and done, they would talk about them and a future together - that only then would she allow herself to fully embrace her feelings and return his

What was their official first date?

Probably their first meetup after returning to Lion’s Arch after the most recent episode. Nothing extravagant happened, and they mostly just talked in a bar and walked around the city. Eventually they found a quiet place to just sit in silence which, believe it or not, was probably the best part of the night. Until Vel latched onto Canach and started crying.

How do they feel about double dates/group dates?

The two hardly really know how to have a single date tbh. Vel would be one to agree to it (only out of politeness - not because she wants to) with Canach being resistant one. They’re both still pretty lost on the mannerisms of dates, much to the amusement of those they’re with

What do they do in their down time?

Currently a lot of their down time is spent with Vel getting in high-risk situations in order to learn how to control her [new magic]. Other times they travel around and spend time doing as the locals of the area do if it’s a different culture Vel wants to learn about

What was the first meeting of parents as an official couple like?

The Pale Tree sorta knew all these feelings between them and was happy when they finally got together. While they have been back to the Grove and visited the Pale Tree after their relationship started, there was never a formal meeting or statement of “so we’re a thing now” or anything

What was their first fight over and how did they get past it?

As a couple or since knowing each other? Since knowing each other it was the fight in Southsun. Their first fight as a couple was over how Vel sleeps. She claims she’s a great sleeper, and refuses to believe Canach when he says she’s the messiest sleeper he’d ever seen. She still fights this even as she wakes up halfway sprawled on the cot and halfway off. They got past it with a pretty simple solution (see: cuddling question) :>

Which one is more easily made jealous?

They can both get a little jealous. Both of them have fans, no doubt, but this really only was an issue when Canach met Driskel for the first time (he is /very/ flirtatious towards everyone, and Vel is no exception. Well… neither is Canach), and when both he and Clodagh come around (Clodagh has a sort of history with Canach, and while there was never anything between them, Clo likes to rile Vel up and get a little too comfortable with Canach. ….and vice versa)

What is their favorite thing to get to eat?

Vel’s always on the hunt for saltwater taffy, but as far as meals go, neither are too terribly picky and will eat just about anything (and for the commander, that’s taken quite literally)

Who’s the cuddly one? What’s their favorite cuddling position?

Vel is probably more cuddly, but if you asked anyone who happens upon them when they’re sharing a cot, they would say Canach, only because he has a death-hold on her with his arms around her when they sleep. Many don’t realize that this was his solution to the messy-sleeper issue and not getting smacked with flailing limbs.

Are they hand holders?

Occasionally, but not as casually. They’ll hold hands as a way of support, but don’t often walk around with their hands locked unless they’re alone and it just sort of happens

How long do they wait before sleeping together for the first time? What’s the circumstances?

About 2 years since first meeting? The circumstances were the same as their first kiss and again followed by the “make me forget” statement. It was about a night or two after the kiss

Who tops?

Canach a majority of the time, but Vel has her moments :>

What’s the worst first they’ve ever gotten into?

Dying/seeing the person you love dead on the ground? Is that a first? Worst for Vel because as she walked through her memories and saw that Canach was always there and loved her and now she was dead and she only avoided him was just a shitty feeling (of course she didn’t rectify that when she was revived because she’s a loser). Worst for Canach because… it’s pretty self explanatory. She was dead and it was a gruesome scene and he really didn’t know how to feel in the time she was gone. Everything was blank. Everything was… gone. She was gone.

Who does the shopping and the cooking?

They both sorta shop together, but neither can cook. Canach could probably manage, but Vel definitely wouldn’t. They’re too used to taking what they can put together or grab on the go. They never had any preparation to go through

Which one is more organized and prone to tidiness?

Canach for sure

Who proposes?

I’m still unsure if they would really get married, but for the sake of these questions I’ll stick with the possible yes they do. Vel would try and fail - not that Canach said no, but because she could never quite get the words out before something else came up they had to tend to. Canach then asks her quietly before they fall asleep one night and damn is Vel relieved that she doesn’t have to try anymore

Do they have joined bachelor/bachelorette parties or separate?

Separate turned joined, and the two end up straying from the party together for the rest of the night at some point and nobody really knows where they go off to

Who is the best man/maid of honor? Any other groomsmen or bridesmaids?

Honestly Driskel and Clodagh would probably be the best man/maid of honor (and the order could go either way tbf). There probably wouldn’t be much prep if it was a ceremony, though, and the rest of Dragon’s Watch / remainder of Destiny’s Edge and some Vigil members would be there

Big ceremony or small?

They both try to aim for small, but it likely gets out of hand at some point

Do they have a honeymoon? If so, where?

Anywhere and everywhere! They both love to travel, and they will go wherever they possibly can until they get a call for help.

Do they have children? How many?

Nope - not unless you count the skyscale they raised together!

[hotdadlicense]

salty ask list 4, 7, 9, 14 and 17 (XYZ is lawsuit) for 9-1-1- tv show?

4. do you have a notp in your fandom? are they a popular otp?

no! so far i'm vibin pretty much everything that's going on which is NICE.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?

NO. though, tbf, i have NOT finished yet and therefore also, have not done a rewatch. and that's usually where i form my more Concrete opinions.

9. most disliked character(s)? why?

okay i don't necessarily dislike any characters so far?? some character sometimes do Things and i'm like hmmmm what the fuck. maybe Don't. but overall i'm having fun and not like, actively tuning out when certain characters come on screen. which is RARE.

if i had to pick ONE, like just pick ONE that i'm slightly SLIGHTLY less endeared with currently? uh eddie. idk WHY okay i literally can't think of why. just something in the past season or so has made me be like hmmmmmmm. but also i love him. but i could love him more, y'know.

14. unpopular opinion about your fandom?

i actually haven't ventured out to any 911 blogs! which is surprising. everything i see about 911 comes from the same like 4 people that i follow that post it so i'm not up to date on the Fandom Drama and Discourse and honestly. it's so nice. love that.

17. instead of [lawsuit mess] happening, I would have made [answer] happen…

kasjhfjkasdhkj okay i am SO sorry about ur hatred of that whole plot line. like i hated it too but like. only simply becos i HATE Family Divided. Found Family Fighting. but honestly due to the fact that i know jackshit about lawsuits and lawyers and court etc etc?? the technical details about all of it barely even made an impact on me askjfksakhd i'm SORRY!

okay i haven't really done a Deep Dive on the Emotional Spectrum of what buck was ~going through~ for that entire debacle but like. there was the earthquake then there was the truck on his leg and he was off work and he was feeling like actual shit and he wasn't! allowed! to work! to be with his family! and they all kept turning him away! like yes, it was for his own good becos, injured, but like. it's BUCK! kids got abandonment issues and family trauma and is the type of person that NEEDS attention and reassurance and like. physical shows of affection. then there was the tsunami and losing christopher and then there was the blood clots at his welcome back party and he was turned away again???? i think there was some more hospital time? my memories getting hazy here but basically buck got kicked like. multiple times while he was already down.

and like the others were trying to show they cared by like. making him not work???? my memories of this specific part are NOT there becos with that plot i was like no lmao i'm not fucking watching until everyones reunited so if this is incorrect, forgive me, but everyone was like 'buck, no. u cant be here.' and buck was all 'bros i Need to be here. i NEED it.'

like they were all trying to SHOW each other how much they cared whilst also NOT LISTENING to each other. DECIDING things for each other instead of establishing some fucking open communication. so BUCK fucking sued them. which, okay drama king. and yes luc, he did it terribly. he did it in a way that no legal binding contract lawyer etc would work but. it's a drama show so that barely pinged my radar, i'm sorry, my dear.

SO BASICALLY all this to say that if EYE was in charge here and writing the story and laying down the ideas and storylines and character arcs, and we HAD to have buck sue them for like idk. the higher ups constant need to always divide The Family on Found Family Shows. then i GUESS we could keep MOST of it the same but instead, and luc omg ur absolutely gonna hate this, but instead!

instead of everyone kinda living in their own lanes and focusing on their own shit (which totally justified and fair btw! deal w ur shit, kids!) maybe if they all kinda looked around and were like 'oh damn. we're falling to bits here.' then MAYBE! if SOMEONE! from the firefam went knocking on bucks door to TALK to him.

and maybe if buck was all "actually, my lawyer said i'm to have no contact with anyone that i'm suing." cos he's such a law abiding citizen etc as we been knew. obviously.

okay THEN if said firefam member was like "oh, cool. they can forcibly remove me from the premise when they get here, then! any who! until then-" holds up some takeaway boxes, "dinner. can probably fit in an episode of [dumb cooking show here] as well. maybe Talk." and just barges in and settles on the couch.

and they TALK. and it's not deep and it does Not get to the root of the problem but it's a fucking START.

then two nights later, maybe a different firefam member shows up, same opening line at the door, and buck tries to get them to leave again, but like, he's barely putting up a fight. maybe the talk circles a little closer to The Issues this time.

maybe another firefam member a few nights later, but this time instead of trying to sort BUCKS Current Life State, they focus on said firefams Current Troubles. some give and some take.

maybe eddie DOES call buck to bail him out of jail. becos they've been in fucking CONTACT. maybe hen vents about her and karens current struggles and doesn't exactly ask, or listen, to bucks advice but like, it's good to TALK and she likes some perspective.

again, my memories of the other plotlines in these eps are HAZY at best and imdb is NOT helping me so disregard pretty much all of this if it DOESN'T make sense. but i just think it'd be neat if they fucking talked. if they sorted some shit out organically. i THINK i understand why buck jumped the gun and was like fuck it! let's sue! but i'd need a rewatch to like. have more concrete thoughts about it all.

BUT HONESTLY. if we could just get that shot of the lawyer telling buck what will happen if he goes thru with Suing them, including how he won't be able to have contact with anyone, and then we had a shot of buck showing up at bobby's. but instead of handing him the serve or what the fuck ever he did, instead! we got buck like, breaking down or something. like if suing was a close call but just didn't happen and instead buck like, took some time to THINK things through in the Big Picture way instead of the I'm Sick And Tired Of Always Being The One Fucking Suffering way and then we jump to the communicating and making up and there's no everyone vs buck, buck vs everyone thing??? that'd be just so much fucking better imo.

[a-splash-of-stucky]

Fic Writers’ Week | Day 1

Writers: share some of the comments that have stuck with you the most

People can say what they want to say, but I genuinely believe that I have some of the best readers on this planet. I’ve gotten a lot of spectacular pieces of feedback in the few months that I’ve been writing fanfics, so here are some of my most memorable ones.

Please don’t be offended if your comment doesn’t make the list - that doesn’t mean I love it any less! These are just a few that were extra special to me, for various reasons. Bear in mind that they are in no particular order. 

**also, I realise that a lot of these are related to A Messed Up Place, which was not intentional. I swear I get nice comments on my other fics too, haha. 

From @bitsandbobsandstuff on AMUP Ch. 4 - Darling, I first off wanna say thank you for all of your comments, I appreciate them all. This particular sentence is one that stuck in my head for quite some time: “Okay but seriously, you’re doing amazing things with this story. Reading it all from Bucky’s POV makes it so incredibly impactful, and you’ve just nailed the gut-wrenching feel of unrequited love.” It was...very reassuring, to get this. It’s sometimes it’s nice to know that your work is appreciated by others :)

From @butterbeertoasts on AMUP Ch. 7 - I mean, if you read the post itself, you’ll understand why this comment meant (means!) the world to me. Honey, you picked out the one line that I agonised over (I kid you not, for a whole day) and you said it impacted you - that’s all I could have ever hoped for, so thank you. That line remains one of my faves I’ve ever written. 

From @buckingoffthebed  on AMUP Ch. 7 - tbh, I could have picked any of your reblogs, babe, they’re all fucking amazing.  The one on IKTG chap 4? That was some high-quality shit™ right there. The one on IKTG 5? EXTRA AF, but I LOVE IT, okay? I fucking love it. BUT, I digress. This particular comment got to me because you let me see inside your brain. You told me that I widened your perspective on what is a very personal and controversial issue (issues!). As you said, I made you feel emotions and fucking hell that’s still mind-blowing to me. I just...thank you. So, so much. Ilysm.

From @jurassicbarnes on AMUP Ch. 7 - really, this has all the things I love in a comment. It’s got react gifs, it’s got ALL CAPS responses (they crack me up to no end), it’s got you sharing your thoughts -- everything. You’re interacting with something I created and I can’t thank you enough, Manu. 

From @theassetseyeliner on The King’s Cook - Erin darling, wow, I loved this. I’m re-reading it now and it’s making me smile so much. I mean, for one thing, you’re calling TKC one of your favourite fics ever (and that is such an honour, omg), but I also adore how insightful you were -- it was very obvious that you not only read, but thought about my fic and for that, I can’t thank you enough. 

From @sanjariti on IKTG Ch. 6 - Ok, babe, I have literally trawled through your archive (and what an experience that was, ahaha) tryna find the original post, but I can’t for the life of me find it. I did copy-paste what you wrote, though, “Your writing in this chapter made me feel literally every single thing, i was shaking at the end. goddamn, i may hate all that’s happened but this has got to be my favorite thus far.” - this was the first ‘insightful’ piece of feedback I received in my writing journey. It meant the world to me at the time (it still does, tbf), that you thought my writing was that good. Your comments on my other fics are bloody wonderful too, but this one is just super-special. 

And finally...

From loveme-lovemenots, on Operation Soulmate (this was after I posted Ch 8). Is this not just the cutest thing ever?

So, I’ll guess I’ll end by saying thank you -- to everyone on this list, and anyone who’s left me a comment ever, whether that’s through a reblog, a post reply, a PM or an ask! An extra-special thanks to everyone who’s been giving me some love because of I Know This Game!!

I love hearing from you, and I cherish every scrap of feedback I get! 😊 😘  

@ficwritersweek 

[buildarocketboys]

do you have any more autistic james headcanons?

Ahhh nonnie when I saw this I was like 'ahhh awesome' and then I was like 'wait, do I?' but like. I so do, nonnie. I so do.- special interest in cooking but things have to be done Right™️ otherwise he gets really frustrated (especially when he has to delegate to other people...I may or may not be writing an autistic chef James au)- also re cooking - likes spicy food/not hypersensitive to spices but there are some textures he CANNOT ABIDE which means some of the food he makes he can't eat (there may or may not also be a plot point in above fic where Thomas compliments him on one of his dishes and James is flattered and also anxious to know how he likes it, because it's one James can't eat himself)- sensitive to places like restaurants, cafes, parties etc where there are lots of people talking and laughing and doing different things all at once. (oh God the Walrus must have been hell for him - no wonder he stays in his cabin/keeps away from the crew most of the time)-BAD at taking hints/figuring out implied meaning unless the tone/words make it pretty obvious (examples of this are when he tells Thomas that he has grave doubts about the viability of this venture, after Thomas presses him despite obviously picking up James's doubt, and Thomas is like 'yes I gathered that' and maybe that time when Gates tells him off for going off at Vane in like ep 1 or 2 or something.) People think he's being stubborn and pig headed and singleminded, which tbf he is quite often, but often he also doesn't really pick up on the fact that other people are annoyed/trying to hint at him to like, maybe, not.- On a similar note, can't understand how the rest of the world/crew/Nassau/whatever don't see the world and what has to be done the same way as he does. He is (obviously) able to understand others' points of view, when they explain them to him and persuade him of their viability (we see this with Thomas and Silver especially, I'd say) but that singlemindedness that I mentioned before comes from the fact that there is a Right thing and the Right thing has to be done the Right way and oh my god why can't other people see that?Um yeah, that'll do for now I think, those were the ones I could think of off the top of my head nonnie! Thanks for asking!#autistic James Mcgraw

[fromis-me-blog]

Fromis as Youtubers

Disclaimer: In this world the Fromis girls are all aged-up, as the youngest is in high school instead of middle school and 2000-line are freshmen in college. Enjoy!!

P.S: I can’t edit for my life I’m so sorry for the bad edits

Lee Saerom

➥ One of the pioneers of makeup and fashion tutorials on K-Youtube

➥ Known for her on-point eyeliner tutorials because she explains in a really easy to understand way

➥ Nowadays she’s starting to get into yoga so she makes “How to be Healthy” videos bUT no one buys it because she talks about healthy living while having a STACK of chips in the background (tbf she does exercise regularly)

➥ She keeps getting invited to fashion events but usually declines because she gets anxious about her fashion style

➥ Has a collab channel with Hayoung where they post their daily vlogs or some similar domestic crap

➥ Roommate: Song Hayoung (Youtuber, college student/animation major, freelance artist)

➥ Channel Name: romsae | Subscriber Count: 3M

➥ Top Video: Top 10 Things You SHOULDN’T Do With Your Eyeliner

Song Hayoung

➥ Does storytime videos using animations but shows her face here and there (kinda like sWoozie’s videos)

➥ Her videos are very relatable and funny, often revolving around her mess of a student life

➥ She started off posting original songs with her guitar but wanted to share life stories that’s why she’s what she is now (but she does post her songs in her Instagram or Twitter)

➥ Her fans know (No thanks to Saerom) that she professionally trained in hip-hop dance before but she gets really shy when she talks about that

➥ Whenever she poses for her fans she usually imitates the cartoon character Peko-chan so it became a nickname of hers

➥ Roommate: Lee Saerom (Youtuber, beauty guru)

➥ Channel Name: SHY girl | Subscriber Count: 820k

➥ Top Video: MY COLLEGE PROFESSOR SHAT IN FRONT OF THE CLASS

Jang Gyuri

➥ Mostly does storytime vlogs; her life never gets boring so she has new content almost every day

➥ Keeps doing livestreams on Periscope because she speaks more naturally there

➥ The first few videos she posted were filled with “My grandfather didn’t allow me to do this before” so it became an inside joke inside her fandom

➥ Slowly gaining more popularity after being featured in a FBE/Youtubers React video for her cuteness (It was Youtubers React to Aegyo and EVERYBODY was all over her eyesmile)

➥ Sometimes posts skits as well

➥ Roommate/s: Bae Eunyoung (College student/business major) | Yoo Jina (College student/architecture major)

➥ Channel Name: Gyuri Jang | Subscriber Count: 580k

➥ Top Video: What NOT to say to East Asian Kids

Park Jiwon

➥ Originally a viner and her first few videos on YT were compilations of her vine edits (all her friends make fun of her for this but she’s proud of her work... except when she watches them because CRINGE)

➥ Now she mainly does react videos?? She usually reacts to underrated videos (from funny videos to conspiracies) that blow up because of her

➥ Occasionally does Lets Plays too but only for horror games (because she likes screaming)

➥ Sometimes does pranks (mostly on her roommate Chaeyoung #rip)

➥ She’s a popular meme all over the internet. Literally everything she does becomes a huge meme (she’s a 9gag favorite)

➥ Her videos’ intro is her screaming

➥ Roommate: Lee Chaeyoung (Youtuber, college student/law major)

➥ Channel Name: GWon | Subscriber Count: 2M

➥ Top Video: Jiwon Reacts to Her Vine Compilations

No Jisun

➥ Makes domestic videos like Rosanna Pansino

➥ Known for her pretty DIYs. She sometimes makes slime videos but she HATES them because she make a big mess after

➥ She also makes unique cooking vids. She mixes the MOST BIZARRE food together and make them taste EDIBLE?? Like one time she deepfries a chicken leg then dips it in a CHEESE and MAYO combination, and everybody?? liked?? it??

➥ She didn’t want to monetize her content but everybody wanted her aesthetic products so she opened up an online shop

➥ She’s in a culinary course and everybody is scared of her weird ass experiments

➥ Roommate: Lee Dahee (College student/culinary major, freelance singer)

➥ Channel Name: No Jisun | Subscriber Count: 2.5M

➥ Top Video: lettuce + ketchup + fish = ?? || cooking experiment #5

Lee Seoyeon

➥ Mainly a music youtuber (song covers, dance covers, freestyle raps ─ she’s very multitalented) but often posts vlogs

➥ Her fans wanted to know why she didn’t try to make it as an idol and she said that she did train in an agency before but didn’t like how her artistic freedom was kept from her

➥ She used to cover up her eyebags but after opening up about how it made her anxious, she slowly started to leave it as it is

➥ Used to do Lets Plays but she just LAUGHED throughout the games so she stopped

➥ Collabs with a lot of people who people didn’t know were good singers

➥ Roommate: Yoon Jiwoo (College student/music major)

➥ Channel Name: SEOYEON | Subscriber Count: 500k

➥ Top Video: Sunday Morning - Maroon 5 (Acoustic Cover by SEOYEON & GWON)

Lee Chaeyoung

➥ The “Challenge/Tag Youtuber”

➥ Cinnamon Challenge, Spicy Noodle Challenge, Try Not to Laugh Challenge, BFF Tag, Girlfriend Tag (she doesn’t have a girlfriend so she did it with Jiwon)─ you name it, she has it

➥ Not all her attempts are successful though, especially not with Jiwon as a roommate. In some videos, half of the time was spent on Chaeyoung chasing Jiwon who stole the brush she needed

➥ She talks in a very slurrish and not understandable way so she doesn’t do livestreams

➥ Her fans have to talk her out of a dangerous challenge,, When they went to Paris she wanted to do a “Fall from the Sky Challenge”... You’d see how that would have turned out

➥ Roommate: Park Jiwon (Youtuber, college student/psychology major)

➥ Channel Name: CHALLENGE CHAE | Subscriber Count: 790k

➥ Top Video: Roommate Does My Make-up Challenge (MESSY)

Lee Nakyung

➥ A world-famous gamer

➥ Her most popular Lets Play series is Overwatch (mostly because it’s also her favorite so she gets REALLY hyped in them)

➥ Whenever she’s agitated she starts full on SCREECHING at her screen (”Idiot why did you go there!!! NO FCKER THE BASE IS GOING TO OH MY GOD STUPID”)

➥ If she doesn’t post serious Lets Plays she plays the most obnoxious games in the internet

➥ Used to cosplay video game characters but hated having to exert effort all the time so she quit (but her photos are in the internet)

➥ Roommate: Jo Yoori (College student/piano major) but she doesn’t go to college

➥ Channel Name: kyunglixe | Subscriber Count: 10M

➥ Top Video: WHAT NOT TO DO WHILE PLAYING | overwatch #13

Baek Jiheon

➥ Started in Instagram with studyblr that’s why she has a loyal fanbase

➥ Now she does aesthetic Study With Me, What’s in my Backpack, Book Reviews, etc. videos

➥ Her videos are ALWAYS in low saturation AND in pastel or pink and purple. There is NO in between

➥ Sponsored by A LOT of stationery brands that liked her videos, that’s why she has an unending supply of washi tapes and blank notebooks

➥ Occasionally posts vlogs whenever there’s something interesting in school or if her friends come up with something stupid

➥ Roommate: n/a, still in high school but is planning to move in with Nakyung and Yoori

➥ Channel Name: studynread | Subscriber Count: 900k

➥ Top Video: How I Take Notes!

Extra:

↳ Aspiring voice actress Seo Herin is also planning to move in with Dahee and Jisun when she graduates high school

↳ Lee Sian and Jo Youngju live in the room next to Chaeyoung and Jiwon’s so they usually visit over and things go REALLY messy

↳ HaRom is easily one of the most popular ships in the community

↳ Chaeyoung and Nakyung collaborated for a gaming video and people started to ship them

↳ Gyuri sometimes makes videos in the wee hours of the night and over the audio you can hear Eunyoung screaming “SHUT THE FCK UP GO TO SLEEP”

↳ Seoyeon tried to collaborate with Bin Haneul but they played Mario Kart and didn’t finish anything

↳ Jiheon and Jisun collaborated for a DIY video and everybody was BLINDED with the amount of organization and aesthetic in their video...

↳ Don’t tell Nakyung but Jiheon’s better than her in story-based games

[stvlti]

11 Questions

i was tagged by @privatekururugi, @espiadimonis, and @transguynoriaki a while ago. each gave me a set of 11 questions to answer, so i will answer these 33 questions. i’m not gonna tag anyone in particular, but if you see this do feel free to have a go at any or all of these sets of 11q’s.

from @privatekururugi:

1) Do you have any specific diet you go by? (Vegan, Gluten-Free, Paleo, etc.) i used to be pescetarian, but then the deficiencies it gave me caused some pretty bad dental / gum problems, so i started eating a bit of lean chicken and pork on the side again... (yeah i know supplements exist, but even my nutrition major of a friend thought a pescetarian diet won’t yield deficiencies, and also supplements are fairly expensive. get off my case)

2&3) Do you have any siblings? If so, how close are you? nope, i’m an only child

4&5) What’s your favourite book and why? (I might want to read it lol) hmm. i still really like 1984, it was the first dystopian classic i read and the concept of Newspeak, tampering with historical authenticity on such grand scales, etc. just blew my mind. so even though i still dislike its weakass character-writing (p much anyone besides Winston has no personality, no distinct personal motives, etc), it’s got a soft spot in my heart. next to that i also liked A Clockwork Orange for the philosophical discussion of the nature of right and wrong (although in hindsight the story is a bit didactic); To Live by Yu Hua (the ill-fated episodes and tragic ends are made all the more absurd by the subtle and simply narration style, but it really is a humbling and informative experience for us readers of a different era and socioeconomic background); and of course, my favourite fable, A Little Prince.

6) Would you describe your personality as dominate or submissive overall? what the fuck kind of question is this. well i’m opinionated as heck, so i’m not submissive “personality-wise”. and that’s all i’ll say on the matter because i’m p sex-indifferent lol, if that’s what this question was trying to get at.

7) What are your dreams usually like at night? oh man. i usually don’t dream normal dreams; as in, most dreams i have is either one big adventure / story, or some bizarre situation that would have been questionable at best, fucked up at worst, in real life context. when i start dreaming about mundane everyday life problems or situations, like failing a test or being stuck with a friend i’ve cut off from my life years ago, that’s usually when i’ve got some kind of stress going on in my life.

(i’ve been trying to restart my dream journal tag actually, but i got stuck on my second entry trying to recall the specifics lol. maybe i should release entry #3 from the drafts first.)

8) Is there anything you’re currently anxious about? well, yeah. my future. my job prospects. being homeless once my parents decide to sell their house off for retirement because the housing prices are through the roof here. pick one.

9&10) Are you looking forward to Thanksgiving? Will you be contributing anything? we don’t celebrate Thanksgiving!

11) Whose your favourite Death Note character (if you have one)?  Light Yagami, even though he’s a slimy fox.

from @transguynoriaki:

1. What kind of music do you listen to?

hmm, i only listen to really slow music or something dark or rock-ish, nothing in between!! muahahaha!! 

okay that’s generalising it; i do love The Honey Trees and The Novembers, which are on opposite ends of the “slow” spectrum (one’s dream pop, the other’s infused with shoegaze and other distortions + some screamy vocals and loud noises at times), with Lana Del Rey and her decadent sounds smack in the middle lol. but yeah i certainly have a taste for the more atmospheric stuff, so aside from the fuzzy feelings of The Novembers’ stuff and the grandness of Lana’s string instrumentals i also like the darker chill vibes you get from The Neighbourhood, some of The Weeknd’s older stuff, etc. 

and I also really enjoy MCR, Muse and the like - i.e. dramatic sounds, that’s the good shit to me haha.

i also like more conventional pop acts like Lorde... and my fave local singer, Ivana Wong, of course!

2. Do you prefer to keep your living space neat and tidy or do you like a certain amount of mess?

i do prefer order and routine in my life, sadly if i can’t do that on a structural level you think i can do that with my desk?! lol. in an alternate universe, maybe.

3. What was the first ship you remember really shipping?

hmm probably TerraxBeast Boy from CN’s Teen Titans. i was lukewarm / indifferent to other canon pairings i’ve seen in media up until that point; but i guess i was more persuaded by the storyline than their characterisations as looking back there are glaring trust issues in their relationship (and that’s an understatement)

4. Do you have a certain show or book series that holds a lot of nostalgic value for you? If so, what was it?

hmm, i guess Courage the Cowardly Dog? (i was a weird kid but shush) and Teen Titans of course. as for books, hmm... ASoUE is definitely one of the ones that just takes me back to middle school. i even bought the Beatrice letters files thingy. tbf the whole Lemony Snicket universe did teach me a lot about cryptography, which i guess if me or a friend of mine were to do an L rp and solve cases it would help a lot (*cough* not saying that’s what’s happening right now because i’ve got other stuff i’m investing my time into. i guess my friend’s gonna make themselves scarce as well hahaha *cue Mariah Carey’s i can’t read gif except it’s L*)

5. What is your favorite type of food?

Italian and Japanese are my fave cuisines! i guess that means i love richly-flavoured foods and creamy stuff. ooh, love those sauces.

6. Was there ever a fad or activity from your childhood that you could never understand or get into?

i wasn’t a gamer at all. we didn’t own a single console and i wasn’t allowed to get a handheld. the most i had was a Tamagotchi. so i guess it’s not so much i never got that ‘fad’, just that i was never given the opportunity to discover the really good games. i’ve only ever played a bit of Mario Kart or Cooking Mama on my cousin’s NDS so yeah. didn’t see the appeal in the more light-hearted games like that.

(now that i’ve played Undertale i’m kinda wanting to explore more PC games though. i heard Papers Please is good, and PJ (@kickthepj)’s been recommending Hyper Light Drifter a lot, and the art looks amazing, so yeah... too broke to get them though... and even if i had the money and time to play them i’d be allocating it towards other stuff you know?)

7. What’s your favorite time of day?

well i got 2 fave time periods. the first one’s the witching hours between midnight and early morning, when the world is quiet and you could do anything and nobody would know. the other one is early morning, just after sunrise, and the air is clear and slightly chilly, and it’s also really quiet but you can just hear the birds tweeting somewhere.

i’m more likely to be awake for the first time period described here though... ._.

8. What’s your favorite type flower and why?

hmm i'm not really a flower person. i’m just gonna steal Luke’s answer and say cactus flowers haha (well i do like cacti, they’re some of my favourite plants; i even named my IG/Twitter and Pokemon Go usernames after the plant; also some of you might remember that i had a pet cactus for 8 months)

9. What’s your favorite cliché/trope in fiction?

lovers running out of time...

10. Did/do you do any extracurricular activities when you were in school and what were they?

(wow Luke that’s a lot on your resume!)

i did bits and bobs throughout school, but perhaps my longest commitment was my Clarinet lessons. started when i was in Year 2, carried on until i obtained a Pass in Grade 8 ABRSM certificate in Year 10. i had to quit and give up on a diploma there because i was starting the IB diploma programme in Year 11...

this commitment is only rivalled by the dance classes i took. i did ballet from a young age until i was about 12~13, quitting just before en pointe shoes were introduced; i had also been in Chinese dance lessons from Year 1, so after quitting ballet i just focused on that until Year 10 as well (again, quitting to focus on my full-time diploma).

i also did Taekwondo as a child and obtained a black belt qualification by age 12. i quit once i did though, because again i couldn’t afford to juggle so many commitments the older i got and the more demanding my studies became.

perhaps the proudest extracurricular i’ve done is in my senior years of high school: i started and chaired the student committee as the editor in-chief for the school’s first student-ran and seasonal (now monthly) publication. it’s not student-ran either anymore because i guess the kids that came after the classes of 2014, 2015, and 2016 just dgaf about slightly more demanding extracurriculars that require organisation as long as they can earn their credits elsewhere (yes i’m salty, i’m allowed to be okay, it was my brainchild but apparently kids these days don’t care about having their voices heard if it means having to negotiate diplomacy with the adults in charge. god, how do they expect to survive in uni or in a workplace?)

11. What’s your favorite piece of work that you’ve ever created and what about it do you love so much?

hmm. i think for sure the prose poem i wrote about Light’s death in the anime. idk, the flow and the imagery is just a good concentrated example of what i could be capable of given the right tone and context. (of course, i’ve been trying hard to branch out in genres and forms, so that sort of language isn’t always applicable. but yeah, it remains my fave as a showcase of my best writing abilities ^_^)

and from @espiadimonis​:

1.If you could have one piece of death note merchandise of any kind, what would it be?

oh man! i’ve been pining after the Hot Topic official DN poker card deck for quite some time! i’ve checked Blue Banana while i was in the UK, but it’s not available there, and it’s not at Tokyo Toys either (they do sell a DN playing card deck, but it’s a lot cheaper in design :/)

2.What’s your favourite 3D animated movie?

does Lego Batman count? if not, then i guess Zootopia.

(there’s a reason these 2 are listed in my bio fandoms list like...)

3.What superpower would you like to have?

i used to always choose levitation / flying, but lately i’m not so sure. i’ve heard a lot of compelling arguments for other powers haha.

you know what, i’d trade for something as simple as better control of my own brain. i don’t care about mind control over others; i just want to be able to harness the best parts of my lightning fast thought processes and out-of-the-box thinking on my best days without being constantly tripped up by executive dysfunction like that on a metacognitive level.

4.Favourite piece of clothing?

my soft furry hoodie, which i’m wearing right now! <3

5.Who’s your favourite Sailor Scout?

i don’t have one, sorry! i was 4 when it aired on TV, so i don’t remember much from those years except the Sailor Moon t shirt i got courtesy of my aunt because it was all the rage back then... i’m sorry, but i have more vivid memories of Pretty Cure and Sugar Sugar Rune!

6.Do you prefer potato chips chocolate?

it is a good combo for sure! we are talking about Royce’s chocolate potato chips, right? (if you haven’t tried it get some next time you or a friend/family goes to Japan! we can buy it locally from like Citysuper or something, but i doubt they export it to any countries beyond East Asia haha)

7.What song makes you feel melancholic?

oh, Six Billion did last week. it left me feeling cold all over. an effect from the combination of the layered vocals and the instrumentals i guess. (is it in minor key? i’m sorry i can’t tell anymore, it’s been far too long since i’ve had any musical training. but if it’s in minor key it would explain why.)

there’s also some of the stuff off The Novembers’ catalogue... mostly 終わらない境界 from To (melt into), which was my daily commuting soundtrack at a time when i had brainfog on a regular basis, so yeah, anxiety and all that fun stuff :/

8.Which dn character would you invite to Spaceland(the amusement park)?

Sayu or Matsuda? they deserve a lot more than the hand canon dealt them. hmm maybe Rem too? but she wouldn’t be able to interact with a lot of the stuff there :/

9.What’s the funniest movie you ever watched?

i guess The Lego Batman Movie? i’m sorry i know i keep bringing this film up, but it’s comedic genius for a “kid’s movie”.

10.You can only choose one pokémon! Which one do you choose?

Blissey was gonna be my go to answer. she’s a tank, have you seen her? but is she really my fave mon? debatable. idk man. i really liked Vulpix/Ninetales as a kid... but dark and ghost types though!! okay i can’t choose, next question 

11.What made you happy recently?

i went to another poetry event last night and i met up with a friend i haven’t seen since September :P