#and another is yes and it’s bad when you do it with non-autistic kids too

[philsmeatylegss]

Yeah I worked with autistic kids. In my time at that job, I was slapped, had hard objects thrown at me, got hit in the head with a large plastic tub, had mud thrown at me, had water dumped on me and had my personal belongings thrown across the room. My clients would scream and cry on the floor and pick up whatever was around them and destroy it. One of my client's moms had her expensive electronics smashed several times. All of them were either non-verbal or miniminally verbal. Then people who are actually autistic but are not as special needs or are self-diagnosed based on a few tiktok videos have the nerve to say that trying to change these behaviors is abuse. I've also seen a lot of these ppl being nasty to the moms of autistic children. They can't vent about their struggles or talk about how it effects their mental health without being accused of being ableist. I saw the toll it took on the parents first-hand. I saw my clients' moms break down crying because they desperately wanted to help their children but had no idea how. They try so hard every day and then get abused by teens on tiktok who have never been around a real autistic person in their lives. Yes, autistic people deserve love and acceptance and accommodations. But the people who live with autistic people also deserve compassion and understanding.

I feel like you somehow heard my thoughts and wrote them in this ask. That’s another thing people don’t talk about. It is very common for lower to mid functioning kids to lash out violently (obviously not just to be mean, they can’t control it). And when you’re dealing with a kid and maybe it’s just a few scratches and bruises, that’s seen as cute and “it’s worth it😽.” But people forgot autistic kids get older and bigger and their disorder still makes them lash out and there’s a huge difference between a five year old pushing, screaming, and hitting you and a fully grown heavy man. Once again, I know it’s not their fault, but that’s the reality people don’t talk about. Some very bad things happened because of my sibling consistently, violently lashing out every other day and he was already very big. Tall and very heavy. Though he never attacked me, he could’ve easily over powered me. Fun fact, it was the violent lashing out because of his Autism that led to my eating disorder i still have to day. Fun story. Also I can’t go to my grandparent’s vacation home without always having a small feeling of wanting to throw up.

Also I truly believe that people who work with severely mentally disabled children, teens, and adults should be paid more CEO’s and politicians. They wouldn’t last a day. Yet the pay for this job is very low, leading under educated or not educated at all people to be in charge which is unfair to both the kids and the person.

The violence. No one ever talks about the violence. Yes, some cute autistic kid may be smiling as he plays with his trains and someone takes a photo commenting about how beautiful autism is. Then they leave the room when they lash out and bite, kick, punch, and throw objects possibly for hours. And it happens every day.

Mental illness is what broke me as a person. Untreated severe personality disorders taking care of an autistic child and a “normal” child. The bottom line is that I’m super fucked up and used to be insanely more fucked up years ago. Autism (not autistic people) broke me in a way that I’ll never be able to repair. AND YOU FUCKING THINK ITS A QUIRKY TRAIT? Oooo I overstimulated because the lights were too bright. THATS NOT ENOUGH TO PROVE YOURE AUTISTIC.

Also the autistic mom things is spot on. I don’t even think about commenting because I’d be ripped to shreds despite being in the exact same position for eighteen year and first handedly witnessing it. You know what? Raising an Autistic child is hard. Even the best parents in the world will have moments where it’s too hard. If I was left with all this damage just being a sister of an autistic child, how do you think it was for my mentally ill parents??? Parents deserve to vent.

This is a topic where if you haven’t gone through it, you don’t have a say. It’s a thing you can’t describe and you will never understand unless you’ve gone through it. It’s fucking hard. It’s also hard for the autistic child as well. They want to communicate and be like other people. You don’t have a fucking say in how parents or siblings of autistic children should feel and you should be fucking ashamed if you ever have

I just want to add as I don’t think I made it clear earlier that there is absolutely no shame for leaving that job. It is physical abuse. It takes a super specific personality to be able to be okay with that and most people don’t have it and it’s fine. Once again, the people who shame you for leaving have this fucking fake, quiet, peaceful image of smiling kids sitting and drawing, maybe stimming once in a while. Yes, at times they can be like this. But a lot of time is spent lashing out, putting themselves and others around them in danger. Even if they’re small children. That is a job that needs to express what it will contain before you take it. You should’ve been warned your safety was at risk. Resources both in and out of schools are underfunded with employees that are often undereducated on Autism and how to handle symptoms, are underpaid turning many people off, or both. It’s such an insanely bad topic that isn’t a fucking trend. It took part in ruining me. I just will keep ranting if I don’t stop

[agentofanarchy110]

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

Yes with dad, no with mum

the only boyfriend I ever had, who incidentally is a dickhead

I regret many things, chiefly falling for my ex lololol

oh definitely

single Pringle couldn’t care less about the mingle

i don’t

Mini pancake

used to be on a netball team despite being 5”2

always and forever I don’t even like long nails (sensory autistic thing I hate it if I make a fist and they dig in)

Oooooo don’t actually remember but most memorable was I hit someone around the face when I was 12 for calling me retarded (got detention but so worth it) NO NOT REALLY DONT HIT PEOPLE KIDS

wish I did (demiromantic asexual I’m doomed)

no but I’ve stayed up for 36

no, pretty mild feelings here

I miss my cat who died an awful and undeserved death earlier this year

I have two new cat bois

anxious, bored, tired but not that bad

I’ve never made out with anyone let alone in a bathroom

yes, but only if they get too close

hell yes who wouldn’t

nowhere. I haven’t.

sit in bed doing nothing all day watching YouTube hopefully

I genuinely have no idea. If I do, probably only one, or twins, cause I don’t want to go through every stage twice. They’d be adopted

no, but I’d like ear piercings some day if I can learn not to pick scabs

English and Film Studies!

my evil ex boyfriend who I’m toxically attached to but finally managed to get over once we met again after a long time and it’s all fine and platonic now

chocolate mousse

yes, and then he went and broke it back ten times worse. Twice.

not as far as I know we were pretty loyal till we broke up

probably

being reminded of my abandonment and neglect issues right now

not romantically

Dark violet

fuck yes (refer to the above)

actually getting to enter a Warriors MAP (I dunno I’m a sad nerd ok)

My dad

yes. And third. And fourth. And fifth. And so on. I apologise even when I’m not the one in the wrong just to get the conflict over with.

forgive

no but it isn’t the worst /hmmm not sure actually maybe?

18 years old and still waiting my dude (almost, birthday in November)

no why the fuck would I do that

The questions in the forties are skipped so this is actually 50 )red velvet cake (no literally it’s not just an ace thing)

52. I’m agnostic, I don’t know. But if everything happens for a reason it’s probably spite because the universe sure does love to screw me over

53. …

54. only if the person you’re with is genuinely a bad person or abusive, but I believe it’s the better option to just break up with them if it doesn’t mean they’ll harm you

55. No, but I can have mean thoughts about peopls

56. Technically no one because no one ever hit back (I swear I’m not a maniac I had issues as tweenager)

57. Yes, but it’s bloody hard to find.

58. Mild. I hate weather in general cause I’m really temperature sensitive

59. yes but not when my boots are frozen to my feet lololol (that actually happened when the Beast from the East came) (it’s a Britain thing)

60. maybe? Doesn’t seem like a NECESSARY aspect but it’d be nice

61. no tbh it’s freaking creepy unless ironic then it’s funny (ace vibes fr fr lol)

62. My hyperfixations. Reading Radioapple fanfic like I need it to survive. Cats. Animals. Books and TV

63. Jokes on you I already have lol

64. I…never kissed anyone… (#allo assumptions lmfao)

65. Ask them more about it before I enter into any kind of relationship. Would try it out, but back out immediately if it wasn’t for me

66. Depends what you consider “the opposite sex” (I’m bio female but non binary/gender fluid)

67. My mate AJ (not on Tumblr)

68. Another friend irl

69 (hehe I’m immature) . Uhhhhh maybe I dunno

70. I’m a coward so no probably, sorry about that

70 horrible questions ... Fuck it

01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents? 02: Who did you last say “I love you” to? 03: Do you regret anything? 04: Are you insecure? 05: What is your relationship status? 06: How do you want to die? 07: What did you last eat? 08: Played any sports? 09: Do you bite your nails? 10: When was your last physical fight? 11: Do you like someone? 12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours? 13: Do you hate anyone at the moment? 14: Do you miss someone? 15: Have any pets? 16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment? 17: Ever made out in the bathroom? 18: Are you scared of spiders? 19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? 20: Where was the last place you snogged someone? 21: What are your plans for this weekend? 22: Do you want to have kids? How many? 23: Do you have piercings? How many? 24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)? 25: Do you miss anyone from your past? 26: What are you craving right now? 27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart? 28: Have you ever been cheated on? 29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry? 30: What’s irritating you right now? 31: Does somebody love you? 32: What is your favourite color? 33: Do you have trust issues? 34: Who/what was your last dream about? 35: Who was the last person you cried in front of? 36: Do you give out second chances too easily? 37: Is it easier to forgive or forget? 38: Is this year the best year of your life? 39: How old were you when you had your first kiss? 40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked? 51: Favourite food? 52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason? 53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night? 54: Is cheating ever okay? 55: Are you mean? 56: How many people have you fist fought? 57: Do you believe in true love? 58: Favourite weather? 59: Do you like the snow? 60: Do you wanna get married? 61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby? 62: What makes you happy? 63: Would you change your name? 64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed? 65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? 66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around? 67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to? 68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? 69: Do you believe in soulmates? 70: Is there anyone you would die for?

[erian1974]

My Problem,Grudge With 34 Rule S8nxu@l Content and Fear With The Blackdora Going Viral In The Future and Possible Future Misunderstandings

Hi i'm Erian, l'm an autistic Girl, l'm the creator of Blackdora ship, and my dream is turn this into an popular ship, but.. these last times, i've been worried about the future of this ship,and this worries are ralated to the 34 rule!, this assunt makes me really worried, sad and angry. this makes me sad beause, l hate the s8nxu@l content, i've been almoust every day, thinking on this!, l imagine that many people would mock me if l start to complain about s@nxu@l8z6ng my Black Jack and Adora content, l know these characters aren't made by me but, in my content l want to give they a new meaning,change some things for better,don't wanna be an prejudice and ableism, but for an normal person do this, doesn't sounds bad but for me, as an autistic person who has a certain sensibility to this content, and has a huge hyperfocous on, character,story and charisma, this cause a huge impact even worse than a non autistic has,unfortunaly l saw many autistics liking inapropriate content, even if some autistcs think that it's ''ok'' to s@nx8lize something from another autistic,but they will not having impathy for your fellow human beings because they will falter with anoter autistics that are sensible to this content!. many people won't lgree but, l realized that at Black Jack and Adora's original stories there's no need of of this evil imposed by the creators seems to give some space to s6nx@l content, like, Black Jack tells a story of a unlicensed doctor who dares to go against the law to save his patients!!! but that could be the only the focous of the story?, yes it could be!, but NOOO!!!! Tezuka put it these ideas of making Black Jack betraying pinoko, and having many cases with different woman, meanwhile She-ra tells a story of Adora, an solder that abandons the horda,after find out that she is an legendary warrior princess, l know it's a kids show, but Noelle puts an s@nsu@l tension between Adora and Catra,also romantize their toxic relationship, l'm scared that if case l complain about this s5nxu@lization of my content, people start to say bad things or many people understand me as an egoist and spoiled girl who wants to control the world, l wish that in the future people could understand how much my blackdora content is important to me,and how much these disgusting things they do to any inocent content at the internet and how l'm full of these things I l hate this beacuse when l was younger,l acidentally starded having acess to p@r6 too young, and l didn't knew that this was wrong, but thanks to my parents l finally stoped. but some years later, the inapropriate content started to perseguide and tempted me trought f@rni8@ti@n, but then l finally find out that this wasn't right and l just abandoned these bad habts!,and today l'm a normal girl,and and started hating this inapropriate content, but the society were l live, the s9nx4@l content l loved, and seeing as something ''normal'' and these who are agaisnt this, are seeing as ''anoying people'' l have a huge grudge to this, l know that you will say things like '' if you don't like it, just don't see it'' but how can l do this, if every were l go, every video l see, every romance, almost every movie l watch,every song l saw going, has an inapropriate content and jokes? tell me how!?, l know that l have this option of not have acess to this, but l feel forced to acept it with all of this, maybe l woudidn't had such a huge grudge if people didn't insist soooo muuuuch, on putting this inapropriate things in everything!!!, this makes me so mad and obviously l wouldidn't feel respected, if case l made an series go viral and people s6nxu@liz@ something that belongs to me, l'm also a bit little sensitive to these things,what's worst is that l had heard that rule 34 is inevitable!, these days i've been extremely angry about the internet, who can destroy you, make you give up of your dreams, and also s7nxu@l1z@ you without even care how much does this hurt you. as a christian girl, l decided to give a trust on god and let him take care of the situation, and help me in the future.

[rotationalsymmetry]

I had some thoughts about gender as I was trying to fall asleep last night. (And I did the responsible thing and prioritized sleep over posting, and I still want to post now even though it is later and my brain rarely holds on to motivation for this sort of thing longer than whenever the next distraction is. Miracles sometimes happen.)

So, nail polish. I like nail polish. But I started getting into nail polish as an adult, and there’s sort of a social expectation that when you’re a kid or maybe a college student, nail polish can just be about fun and personal enjoyment, but by the time you start holding down jobs nail polish should look “professional” or be absent. Relatively subtle (boring) colors, no chips, etc.

Anyways, as somebody new to nail polish (and tbf, most of the time someone who wasn’t “employed”), my nails often didn’t actually look very good, and I was more interested in having fun and experimenting and doing artsy things than in it looking, well, polished. Still am. I got dark blue nails with holo topcoat right now. Topcoat that got smudged a lot while it was drying.

Early on I decided I was going for “interesting” rather than “perfect”, and that’s spared me a lot of stress when something goes wrong. As it often does.

I think gender can be looked at the same way. There’s different ways to do gender, and one is about being polished and looking good while staying within societal rules. And one is about making your own damn self happy. And while people just don’t start identifying as trans unless they’re giving a lot of weight to their own happiness over fitting in, right, this is actually mostly independent of being trans vs cis, cis people also have a choice about whether they want to experience their gender primarily in terms of measuring up to societal standards or primarily in terms of pleasing themselves.

You can experience gender a la carte, based on what does and doesn’t make you happy.

For guys, this can look like: am I a sports fan kinda guy or a nerdy kind of guy or both or neither, am I a car appreciation guy or not, how much do I care about being a husband and/or father and what kind do I want to be, how much do I care about things like how I dress and how my home is arrayed, and if I do care do I prefer a fancier aesthetic or a more casual aesthetic or something else, what do I want to do about hair on my face and about hair on my head, what is my relationship to conflict and violence going to be, what is my relationship to my emotions going to be, what is my relationship to my own health going to be, what is my relationship to relationships going to be.

For gals, this can look like: maybe I like long skirts but not sexy mini skirts, maybe I like mini skirts and girlboss feminism but don’t expect me to cook, maybe I love cooking but will not smile at strangers or refuse to interrupt when everyone else is doing it, maybe I barely even know what mascara is but am more interested in forming connections with other human beings than with career success or in looking out for #1.

(And this can get really complicated when people straddle cultures, classes, even just different families with different understandings of what men and women should be like. Sometimes you have two immigrants from the same culture marry each other and one assumes they’ll live as much like they’re grandparents as possibly and one figures the best thing about not being in the old country is you don’t have to do that any more. While pretty much everyone’s got concepts of male and female, none of them entirely match up with each other.)

And it’s not an accident that a lot of feminism is about… having women and girls take on more traditionally guy roles. More on girls playing sports and women climbing the corporate ladder than boys playing with dolls and men figuring out their feelings and working on their communication skills and caring for their one children. One of these is more in tune with the life-destroying priorities of capitalism than the other, and when you try to swim across a current you get swept downstream.

I think there’s often a strong connection between what individual people need most in the depth of their souls, and what is best for people as a whole, and one of the most important tools of societal repression is alienating people from their heart’s desires.

Which means one of the most important tools of collective liberation is reconnecting with your body and your feelings and what you want most in your life.

I didn’t get at first what queer stuff had to do with the rest of it. But that’s it, isn’t it? Not everybody is gay or trans or etc, but everybody does have some way in which who they are, fundamentally, doesn’t match who they’re supposed to be, and that difference and what you do with it matters.

[kaedynce-is-a-writer]

How to Write an Autistic Character

So, you’re a neurotypical, otherwise allistic, or possibly neurodivergent person wanting to write an autistic character, but you’re not sure as to how you want them written?

Well, my fellow writers, you are in luck! In this post, I will explain how to write an autistic character while steering clear of any harmful stereotypes that are seen in neurodivergent characters in most types of mainstream media.

Now before I dive in, my biggest thing is to talk to other autistics! Like I will say in this post and many more in the future, autism isn't a "one size fits all" neurotype!

1.) The first thing I want to say to y’all is that we’re not all young cishet white boys. Some autistic people are non-binary, some are black, some are women, some are older than 25, some are gay, and let's be honest--it's okay! You're valid!

While, yes, quite a handful of autistic folks are boys, it's important to note that you shouldn't make all of your autistic characters young, white, cishet boys, since older folks, trans folks, non-binary folks, and women who are autistic and of a different racial/ethnic background need representation in media, too.

Another thing to note when writing autistic characters is that not all autistic LGBTQ+ folks are on the asexual spectrum. I've met a few autistic people online who are asexual or otherwise aspec, and they are some of the most amazing people I've met. However, as I've said before, not all LGBTQ+ autistic people are aspec. Some are lesbians, some are bisexual, and some can be pan, too!

2.) The next thing I want to say is that autism isn't a "one size fits all" neurotype. What traits can be displayed in one autistic person aren't always necessarily as prominent in another autistic person. One autistic person can be extremely extroverted whereas another can be introverted or non-speaking (they can still communicate with other people using AAC or sign language!) One autistic person can be hypersensitive to loud sounds whereas another autistic person can have a hard time hearing things (auditory processing disorder). I am actually the latter of both of these statements (I'm introverted as hell and I'm bad with putting my thoughts into words most of the time and I need to have closed captions on when I'm watching TV unless it's something that I've watched a million times). But as I've stated before, autism isn't a "one size fits all" neurotype, meaning that no two autistic people are the same.

3.) The third thing that I want y'all to note is that we stim. A lot. More-so than the neurotypical/allistic population, even though everybody stims in some way, shape, or form. Stimming can be used as a way for us to express our emotions or needs, whether we're happy, trying to evade sensory overload episodes (sometimes it's unavoidable and I understand that, I went through those too), or whether we're in a meltdown and need to go someplace where there's less sensory input. Some of the most common stims are hand-flapping, rocking back and forth, and vocalizing random sounds we make! There are other types of stims, too, such as smelling things (olfactory), looking at things that mesmerize us (visual), and listening to the same song on repeat sometimes (auditory). And even feeling things that are soft can count as stims, too!

4.) When it comes to emotions or humor, we are not like Rain Man or Sheldon Cooper. This is one harmful stereotype that you need to avoid like the plague when writing an autistic character. We promise you that we are not emotionless, nor do we lack a sense of humor.

However, autistic people do tend to struggle with reading social cues and pick up one's emotions based on looks (I had a lot of trouble doing this as a child, and trust me, I still have trouble with this), and the former part of the statement may end up causing autistic people to either be left out of the conversation altogether or interrupt said conversation. But unlike what most mainstream media with an autistic character says, we actually do experience the same range of emotions that a neurotypical and/or allistic person would, and we do have a sense of humor.

5.) And the last thing I want to mention is that autistic people have intense fixations on certain subjects, otherwise known as hyperfixations and/or special interests.

What is your autistic character's special interest/hyperfixation? Do they do research on their special interest/hyperfixation? Do they do artwork based on their special interest/hyperfixation?

An example of special interests I'd like to give is actually one of my own. I'm very much a metalhead/alt kid of sorts, and my favorite band tends to be Linkin Park. If I'm asked about Linkin Park, I will be more than likely to give an infodump on the band's history, given that I'm not overstimulated or burnt out from the day's activities. This also includes the history of people within the band, like Chester or Mike (since those are the two members that I know most about).

More will come in part two! Stay tuned!

SOTD: "Therefore I Am" -- Billie Eilish

[doux-amer]

I think that they all have unique relationships with Logan so they perceive themselves as the special one and act accordingly even if that mindset manifests differently per sibling. I would also say that of all the kids, it’s Connor who is the outsider and is treated as such by everyone although yes, if we have only the trio, then Roman’s the odd one out. 

Connor and Roman are alike in that way. Logan messed with Kendall and Shiv so that they wholeheartedly believe they’re the anointed ones. Logan’s number one boy and daddy’s little girl. His Pinky. They have that “Dad loves me the most. He picked me. I’m his favorite” mindset, and that’s why they try so hard to please him. On the other hand, Connor and Roman are the outsiders in that Connor is forgotten and therefore a non-entity and people think there’s something too wrong about Roman to consider him a complete human being (this isn’t even touching upon Roman and sex, another way he’s seen as not whole). Connor and Roman yearn to get Logan to look at them and see that they’re real. They exist! They’re right in front of him! Notice/don’t forget them! The difference is that Connor has long since resigned himself to the idea that he’ll never get the love he seeks while Roman is desperately still trying.

I totally agree that Roman is “special” because of the physical abuse, though. I’m reminded of Roman gloating in “Too Much Birthday”; that made me so queasy because he’s aware of his relationship with Logan, but his emotions on the subject are tragically twisted and tangled. There’s also the extra “what Dad and I have is different” layer to it all because Logan himself is a victim of physical abuse and only Roman has that in common with him.  

This is a bit of an aside, but Logan’s suffering colors his perspective on what he does to Roman. It makes him regret what he does to Roman after the fact because he knows firsthand it’s bad and how it can hurt someone—but only up to a certain point. He’ll dismiss and deny the abuse and outright gaslight Roman into saying that it wasn’t anything because is it “really” abuse? A little slap? That doesn’t count because he knows what “real” abuse is, and real abuse leaves horrific scars on your back for life. That’s nothing.

In Logan’s mind, Roman deserves it anyway because Roman can’t stop and the lesson needs to be beaten into him. If Roman acted like a real person and didn’t go too far like he always does, there would be no need to hit him. Roman “makes” him hit him. He doesn’t hit his other kids. (He does, however, hit one other person in the show: Iverson, who Logan notably believes has something wrong with him because it’s implied that he’s autistic. Iverson isn’t a real, whole boy to him either.)

It’s not about weakness. He thinks Kendall and Shiv are weak, but he doesn’t hit them. He’ll psychologically mess with them. He’ll even mock them which strangely, he doesn’t ever do to Connor or Roman, at least when it comes to physical shortcomings for a lack of a better phrase because we all know he has no qualms about loudly saying what he thinks is wrong with his kids (S1 finale when he interrupts Kendall to say he can’t talk properly and goads/commands him to when Kendall’s stuttering gets intense and S3 finale when he singles out Shiv by imitating her because she’s just a stupid little girl in his eyes). But he doesn’t hit them. They don’t cross the line like Roman does because their desire for attention doesn’t manifest the way it does for Roman and because, you can argue, they’ve seen what will happen if they do.

It comes back to Roman not feeling like he’s seen as a real person, something that people—his family—have said to his face. He acts out to get noticed and continues pushing buttons to get a reaction for once because of Logan and when he does that to Logan, he gets unique attention. It’s not attention he wants per se, but at least Dad is paying attention to him. That’s what makes him special. That’s what makes him close to Dad—and the most like Dad. (Up through S4E2, excluding some wrestling with Shiv and Kendall that’s mostly stupid sibling behavior, he’s the only one who eggs someone to hit him and assaulting them.)

Kendall and Shiv think that too though they approach it from a different angle. They’re special. They’re close with Dad because they’re the chosen ones and they’re the most like Dad because of that which is why, I think, they end up refusing to return to Logan or put up with him anymore unlike Connor and Roman. Because Logan wouldn’t and they’re Logan. (And just like Roman, they then end up treating others the way they were taught by Logan and mistreated and abused by him.)

its like. roman being the only who was hit as a kid puts literally everything about him in perspective. in the way there’s something extra fucked up and extra broken about roman that isnt the romantic tragedy of kendall or the ‘daddys girl fights misogyny’ vindication of shiv. in the way of ‘there’s something wrong with you.’ in the way of his outsider status with his siblings, but Especially in his attachment to logan. if you’re getting singled out to be hit, who’s to say you’re not going to convolute that into thinking its because you’re extra special? that dad loves you in a special way that culminates into a special punishment? dad and i have a different bond because he’s struck me but has never struck you so it must be because what he feels for me is stronger

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

How Bad is Sia’s “Music” really?

I watched it illegally (because there was no way I was paying for that bullshit) and found out. It’s not as bad as we thought... It’s worse.

TW for ableism, Sia, drugs, alcohol, just in general a terrible movie, meltdowns, blackface

Literally the first thing you hear while they’re showing the production companies is THOSE stereotypical noises. If you’ve seen the trailer, you’ll know what I mean.

And yes, she does this for the WHOLE fucking movie

What was the need to show her in her underwear? Maddie Ziegler was 14 when this was made, so what was the need??? And why did Sia prolong the scene by having her hitting herself?

Less than a minute in and my reaction was already “what the fuck is this shit?”

So the opening number not only had stereotypical exaggerated facial expression, it has Maddie in BLACKFACE?!? And with culturally appropriated hair?!?

The exaggerated facial expressions are literally constant and I took photos during the film to show it, more later, but I’ll keep mentioning it

ITS LITERALLY THE WHOLE FUCKING TIME SHE IS ON SCREEN

Even her way of walking is fucking offensive, Jesus Christ

The vocalisations just had me cringing so hard, I cannot describe how awful it made me feel

Why do all the neighbours need to be paid off and help her when she goes for a walk? I don’t-

Yes, by about the five minute mark I was already seriously debating all my life decisions. It was that bad.

Kate Hudson really didn’t give a fuck that her grandma died

I will keep saying it but WHY are the facial expressions/vocalisations CONSTANT?!! Literally they do not stop at all. I work with a child who is actually similar to this in that he’s nonverbal and he makes similar noises/faces, but the way they’re in this movie is so over-exaggerated?!? And even the kid I work with doesn’t do it 24/7?!?

Sia, calling your characters Zu and Music doesn’t make them interesting in the slightest. They’re still painfully terrible and one dimensional

Literally ONE minute after being left alone with her autistic sister, Zu calls the mental health service asking if they could “theoretically” “pick up” her sister?!? Like she wants to get rid of her already?!?

“A magical little girl” - autism isn’t a magical power?!? And Music is a young woman, not a little girl?!? Why are you infantilising her?!?

Okay I’m not being funny but this choreography is NOT hard. ANYONE can do it, so claiming that you needed to hire a dancer to be Music because of the numbers is literally bullshit (and even so, there are so many amazing autistic actors and dancers?!?)

20 minutes in and I wanted to give up

So she had her first meltdown because her hair didn’t get braided immediately and that’s... certainly interesting??

The fact that Leslie Odom’s character says “I’m going to crush you now”?!?

AND THEN HE FUCKING PICKS HER UP AND FULL-BODILY PINS HER DOWN ONTO THE FLOOR

“I’m crushing her with my love” - oh fuck you, just fuck you

So Sia lied, the restraint scenes were NOT removed and there was no warning. She’s a fucking POS liar

I have no idea why he’s called Ebo or why he has such a cliche African accent?!? I might have missed out on why because I was busy trying not to bang my head into the table while I watched this film but just... yikes

“He (his brother) liked to be held” - YEAH, HELD. NOT FUCKING CRUSHED

“He is dead now” - IM NOT FUCKING SURPRISED IF YOU CRUSHED HIM LIKE THAT

The constant babying and patronizing of the autistic character is so exhausting to watch. I’m so tired

“Planning on sending her to the people pound but I guess I’ll keep her a little longer” - SHE WAS JOKING BUT THAT WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY A FUNNY JOKE. NOT EVEN IN AN AWKWARD WAY

STOP THE FACES IM-

^ YEAH, Sia, totally a fucking love letter to the autistic community here ^

So Zu finds this necklace she made as a kid that had a little dog on it, and she says to Music, “He had seizures too, just like you”... MELTDOWNS AND SEIZURES ARE NOT EVEN REMOTELY THE SAME FUCK THIS MOVIE-

It’s like Sia is trying to make the movie funny but it’s really not at all

Is Zu implying that Music is autistic because the mum was a junkie?!?

For real though, the dialogue in general is so fucking awful and cringey. Whoever wrote this should never be allowed to write again

Did she seriously leave her autistic sister alone to talk to who I’m presuming was her dealer or loan shark?!?

Also why is he - a white dude - wearing cornrows?!?

So who is the film really about? The autistic girl or the older sister saviour? I think we all know the answer to that one

WHY IS SHE WALKING AROUND WITH HER TEETH JUTTING OUT LIKE THAT ALL THE TIME

The musical numbers are literally so painful to watch. The overly bright colours, the flashing... my eyes were hurting and so was my brain

Autism representation aside for a second, the musical numbers/choreography are all fucking atrocious. Ditto for the costumes

LIKE WHAT THE FUCK WERE THE PINK OOMPA LOOMPA FRUIT THINGS?!? THEY LOOK LIKE THE PINK VERSIONS OF VIOLET BEAUREGARDE THE BLUEBERRY

I wanted to cry by this point, this movie is far more awful than I thought

“I’m not saying she doesn’t want to change, I’m saying she can’t” - FUCK YOU. Why is it okay for him to assume what she can or can’t do

Can I just say that autistic people aren’t constantly in a coked up wonderland state?!! We don’t see the world as a wonderland fantasy world 24/7?!!

“She can hear you from two rooms away” / *shows her listening through two brick walls to a conversation* — Also, we don’t have super fucking sonic hearing?? WE CANT HEAR THROUGH FUCKING BRICK WALLS?!?

“She can understand everything you’re saying to her” - she’s autistic not fucking deaf

Less than 45 minutes in, there’s another meltdown in the park

“I’m not climbing on top of a small screaming white girl in public” - yeah please fucking don’t

So Zu fucking pins her down with her weight 🤦‍♀️

“She doesn’t know who she’s hitting” - IM SORRY WHAT

EBO LITERALLY SAID “TREAT HER LIKE A BEAR” when talking her through the prone restraint, I fucking CANNOT

“Tell her she’s safe” - NOT IF YOU FUCKING RESTRAIN HER LIKE THAT SHE IS NOT

The fact that she gets up, smiling and happy after a meltdown and immediately is excited to get a snow cone... I can honestly say that after a meltdown, I am in no way happy or smiling. I am often not very verbal and I’m withdrawn/not myself for at least several hours, usually the rest of the day. Fuck this film

This film is literally just about Zu, and Music is there for a plot device to give her character development. That’s all she’s there for.

Love how Sia shoehorned Zu being suicidal in there. You know, just to try and make her more easy to sympathize with (it doesn’t work)

This film is literally just a 1 hour 47 minute Sia music video with ZERO plot

WHY WERE THEY WEARING PILLOW DIAPERS IN ONE NUMBER-

I really did not feel into the side plot with that guy who was fighting but it was still better than the actual movie so...

I am SO DONE with the NON STOP CONSTANT vocal shit. So tired.

LOJ’s only role in this film is to be the stereotypical wise black guy who assists a white woman’s story. There’s like hardly any other depth there

The Ebo/Zu romance is so fucking stupid and pointless and out of NOWHERE. I couldn’t even tell if they were into each other or not

I was already so bored of the musical numbers by this point. They added NOTHING to the plot but they pretended they did, and I was so over it. And it’s not because I’m not “creative enough” or anything to understand, I love musicals and I think it could have been cool if done right... but it wasn’t. They were a mess. It’s just bad.

Sia really tried to pretend her movie was deep but really it’s a shallow mess

So Zu is meeting rich drug clients and says to Music “try not to have one of your freak outs up there” and “if you could try to get it out now”... FUCKING YIKES. It’s not an on/off button, shut the fuck up

YEP THIS WAS THE SIA CAMEO FUCK THAT BITCH

The fact that she just calls “DRUG DEALER?!? DRUG DEALER IS THAT YOU”, fucking end this please-

I fucking hate this bitch I’m dead serious

“We’re gonna send them to Haiti cause there’s been an earthquake. All these buildings fell down, children’s bones were dislocated” - WHY WAS SHE SO CHEERFUL ABOUT IT

“Gonna buy a shit load of pain meds, gonna but them on my private plane” - FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

“Pop stars without borders” - Sia thinks she’s so clever but I would give anything to punch her I swear-

ANOTHER MUSICAL NUMBER JUST STOP IM BEGGING YOU

There’s this awkward conversation/bit with Zu and her drug dealer/loanshark about his outfit that was clearly meant to be funny but was just flat and painful

Yep, Sia really showed Music eating chewing gum off the underside of a park bench. Of course.

Look, the kid I work with does similar stuff by putting literally anything and everything in his mouth but like... why would you put that in your movie?

And there’s no indication before this that Music puts everything and anything in her mouth, she just randomly decides to get on her knees, under the bench and eat chewing gum, like she calculates that it’s there and gets it???

She has a THIRD meltdown after an allergic reaction to a bee sting and her sister just yells at her before realizing... I’m not here for this movie, I feel like I drifted off and was not really there

So Zu got angry because she left the drugs at the park but she’s not that upset that her sister had an allergic reaction???

Zu gets absolutely drunk because a) she lost Sia’s drugs and b) she’s stressed out by her autistic sister... wow, great message, Sia!

She really fucked off and left her sister alone to go clubbing/on a bender

The less said about the musical number here the better

Sia’s movie also checks the box of having stereotypical Asian parents, specifically stereotypical Asian dad being harsh/angry and hitting his wife!

ALSO HE PUSHED AND KILLED HIS SON WTF IS HAPPENING

Less than 3 minutes after the last, there’s a musical number that I think was about this side character going to heaven... another shitty Sia-esque number

The patterns during the number made my brain hurt.

Also there are so many autistic actors who can also dance, and yet Sia chose the neurotypical one because ✨ N E P O T I S M ✨

I just want to know how it was deemed necessary to show the fact the autistic character peed/wet herself? I mean... ??? It’s just so undignified and not at all necessary to the plot. Nothing happens after that, it just moves onto the next scene and it didn’t do anything

“I have no one” - 1) YOUR FUCKING SISTER. 2) GEE I FUCKING WONDER WHY, couldn’t be that you’re a shitty human being?!?

There’s a scene where Music is walking and she does ALL the stereotypical behaviours at once... just YIKES

Zu somehow stopped another meltdown just by grabbing Music by the shoulders and sitting her down???

Aaand yep. Another shitty musical number

Zu really goes to put her sister in a fucking facility and claims it’ll be “better for her” - BULLSHIT. Better for Zu, maybe, not Music.

Ah yes - the girl who the characters have said has problems with routines being changed/change in general... you’re now going to fuck up her routine by dumping her in a facility. Perfect Plan.

The nonverbal autistic girl suddenly speaking to say “don’t go” - you can just predict it from the off, can’t you?

Love that as soon as Music starts talking, Zu is like “fuck it, I’ll keep her!”

Zu really went and crashed Ebo’s brothers wedding... in a fucking bralette... YIKES

“I almost gave Music away” - SHE IS NOT A DOG YOU DONT GIVE PEOPLE AWAY

“We should sing a song” - PLEASE DO FUCKING NOT

Also that kiss/romance montage between Zu and Ebo was the CRINGIEST fucking shit ever

This movie seems to be implying that Music has locked in syndrome or something, like she’s locked in her own head or whatever it’s called, and I just... *sigh*

Oh and now Music magically fucking sings in a room FULL of strangers... this is literally embarrassing, please let this end

I mean it, this movie was fucking painful to watch on ever level

She got a service dog puppy which... okay?

Oh look, it’s the only decent song on the soundtrack but with an absolutely shitty over-stimulatory music video with the credits!

I can only name 5 characters in this film. Maybe 7 at a push, but even then I would be guessing

AND YEP SHE THANKED AUTISM SPEAKS OVER THE CREDITS. FUCK YOU SIA 🖕🏻

Let me reiterate: this is a movie about a neurotypical former drug addict whose character development comes from the autistic character, from having an autistic sister she has to take care of. I’m so tired.

We are NOT plot devices or tools for character development. Not once does anyone in this film treat Music like a human being - she’s treated as a burden, a problem, and then like a pet that they decide to keep. Not once is the film focused on how she is feeling - it’s always about Zu or Ebo. The performance itself was so over exaggerated and it made me want to cry when I watched it because this is how the world sees us, and this movie will make it ten times worse. It’s stuff like this that made me think “I don’t want to be labelled as autistic because people will think I’m a certain way”, that made me wait so long before going to the GP to get a referral.

As I said, poor autistic representation aside, the movie is just so appallingly bad. It truly is one of the worst films I’ve watched. If you’re going to watch it, please don’t - or, if you want to because you want to see how bad it is/to raise awareness/critical posts, at least do it illegally. Do not give Sia your money.

[hellyeahheroes]

Robin(2021) #1 Review

Opening this comic with an assessment of a character that I have no choice but to agree with is a cheap way to score points with me.

Anyways, we caught heat for being unfair to this story since it was announced because all of us wanted it to be a Cass story since forever. And it became yet another thing Damian absorbs. I mostly ignored it because I’ve always been open about my disdain for the character and his fandom for nearly a decade. I never liked Damian because put these characteristics on a non-white passing character, they’d be dead inside of year. Then again I hate almost all of Grant Morrison monstrosities.

Regardless, new story who dis is in full effect here. We open this bad boy up with Damian gone missing and the Batfamily searching for him. Nightwing tried asking Damian’s old Teen Titans team and they obviously don’t know and probably hope Damian is dead. Tim checked Arkham Ruins(???) and Damian wasn’t there. I honestly don’t think Tim was trying to find Damian. Steph and Cass checked Damian’s farm and Steph concluded Damian has been there at least because while Damian may be a little shit, he loves his dog and pet bat dragon. Barbara checked facial recognition pings and his transactions and dude is an IRS nightmare.

Damian is missing. Bruce is worried that maybe making a violent murderous preteen Robin raised in a cabal of killers to be chief murderer was a bad idea and is worried. Barbara ensures him that they will find his son and we cut to Damian fighting Snake guy in some musty ass fight put somewhere. Because of course it’s a musty ass fight pit because while the story is well drawn, it never claimed to be not cliche.

Damian hands the scrub his ass and it turns out Damian is trying to earn a marker to participate in some tournament. I liked this panel.

Not because of the artist flex of changing the art style, but it establishes Damian with a relatable hobby, reading manga. And not just a Shounen as you expect him to read but a slice of life manga which kind of puts his life in perspective. Also the lesson in the manga is reflective of what happens in the comic. Damian’s mastery is reflective of how he sees Hana. Hana decides to go beyond what her masters taught her. She decides to innovate and make her art her own. And that’s indicative of another flaw of Damian: Damian leans of the prestige of his teachers. He is the student that replicates the style 1:1. He wants to inherit Batman’s mantle, but doesn’t want to shed his teachings that he is proud of. And it comes down to this idea that Damian refuses to innovate and adapt because he is hiding behind his masters.

This panel saved the story so good job.

And after a talk with dead Alfred, it’s revealed that Damian is on this journey as a way to mirror Bruce’s journey into becoming Batman. It’s his way to iron his resolve without a catalyst to find a need to. It highlights his naïveté. He thinks that he can just simply copy the steps and get the same results.

Regardless what happens next simultaneously undermines the story or the impact of it.

Okay, when you think of Martial artists in DC, you immediately think Batman, Shiva, Deathstroke, Black Canary, Bronze Tiger, Richard Dragon, and Shiva. Why I said Shiva twice? Because Shiva is the pinnacle.

So to reveal that three premier martial artists in the universe are not only not participating but they were paid off to not participate, cheated out, or were subbed in as an entry replacement, it undermines the promotion. It’s like going to a Beyonce Concert only to find out that between the words in small print Beyonce and Concert was ‘s Sister’s and now you are watching Grammy award winning Solange. Sure, it’s an unique experience but it ain’t Beyonce.

And also, there is no amount in the world that would keep Shiva away from this tournament if it’s as prestigious as it’s led to be. Let’s be real. If anything, it’s far more likely that she saw the roster of scrubs and decided to make some scratch.

There are two characters that I recognize: Connor Hawke and Rose Wilson. I am not familiar with Connor so I am not sure if he is out of place. Rose is fine but y’know, scrub. I’m sorry Rose Wilson got her ass handed to her by Cass in the previous universe. There is no universe where I take her seriously in a fighting tournament to crown greatest fighter because the ass stomp was so thorough that Cass was beating Slade’s ego by proxy.

Back to the comic, Damian interrupts the host and basically is the fighting tournament trope of overly confident disrespectful guy with too many accolades which he will proudly tell you about them. What I like about this is the nice nod to the previous manga panel. Damian is not a great fighter. There I said it. Damian’s ability hinges on the idea that he was trained by the greatest killers and Batman but the issue is that name prestige doesn’t make great fighters. Too many times, comic books overly rely on this idea of fighting being a what you know and not being a game of not getting hit and getting hits in. It does not matter if Damian is trained by the League and Batman and it’s questionable as to how much Batman taught him in the first place. Hence why we see Damian with a sword or staff to compliment his lack of range. Damian can’t read muscle twitches like a Cass or Shiva so he has a normal reactive response and comics never highlighted his ability. The most impressive thing I’ve seen Damian do is catch a Batarang which is something I’ve seen Tim do. Damian overly relies on the idea that his teachers taught him to be the best when they simply taught him to survive in a fight.

“But why does Cass get away with it?,” you ask. Cass has this broken hax that is reading muscle twitch and immediately knowing the instant of what you are going to do before you do it or decide to do. Cass doesn’t need range because to her, you are screaming your intentions. She doesn’t need to block an attack when she can just parry. She doesn’t need to step back when she can just step forward while slipping all attacks. She is an autistic savant at fighting with an absolute defense. Damian is just another badass teen in a world of badass adults.

And the humbling of Damian begins...again.

Pros:

-Damian’s new costume. I like that he is branching out and starting to own his own colors. It’s nice.

-Using a character flaw to make it a theme. I like Chekhov’s gun via teachable moment. In tournament arcs, what separates the good ones and the bad ones is the idea that the hero simply must overcome their opponents and not their own self. This is why Yuyu Hakusho is awesome.

- Great art and nice continuity. It’s nice that Damian’s past wasn’t ignored for once and they didn’t just throw his Teen Titans characterization down the tubes. Say what you want, but it was arguably Damian’s longest run in spite of his fans hating it. And contrary to what they believe, it was very much in character for him. My fear going into this that Damian would not face any fallout and lo and behold he ran away.

- it’s a good start for a Damian story. Say what you want, but it’s unique in that the little shit gets his comeuppance immediately. And not that just by losing, but by dying. Damian has killed before and readily justifies it because he never realizes the weight of taking someone’s life. He’s been killed before but those were painted in a way that he is valiant. Here, this is death caused by his own arrogance. He mocks a fighter for talking shit and gets murked while talking shit. He spouts names of his own teachers and expects people to care or be weary as if Rose Wilson and Connor aren’t there. It’s a tournament sponsored by the League of Assassins, Damian. They have been taught by the league too.

Cons:

-Look I get promotion. No promoter is going to undermine their product but the fact that this tournament reeks like ABA is killing my interest to give a shit. It’s a convenient caveat to say that, “Well, a character won this so they can have the title but the title doesn’t mean anything.” I know of regardless of whom wins this, they aren’t the best. Go ham or don’t at all.

-not enough emphasis of the importance of this arc. Why even have this tournament? What’s the prize? What’s even the point?

-While the art is nice, the action is framed poorly. I like physical action like this to be nearly choreographed in a way I can see and piece movement in my head. The two fight scenes we get are somewhat disjointed in that it’s just poses. For example, Flatline’s first kick makes no sense at all and I don’t get her follow up. Trying to picture the movement hurts my head and in an action concept like this, it’s best to frame action scenes as more than doing poses. Here is a good example:

This only emphasizes the action and gets the reader to acknowledge that this a tournament of great fighters or at least a great fighting story.

All in all, do I think this story is off to a good start? Yes. Is it going to change my opinion on Damian? Hell no. My reaction to Damian getting his ass handed to him was this.

The issue is that it never sticks. Damian can learn and be a better person but the development never sticks. It becomes a cyclical series of events because whoever writes him next will just keep writing him as this shitty entitled murder rich kid who never learns anything and gets validated somehow. It’s been over a decade and I’m tired of the same excuses of his shitty behavior. I am tired of writers validating it or excusing it.

Damian losing isn’t an outcome I care for because it’s wasted on him. Honestly I am more interested in Connor and Rose being there. I have no faith that it will stick nor does it undo the shitty idea of the character. I have never wanted to see Damian fight. It’s never been fun to read about nor has the impetus of his character emphasized the ability or style. Placing Damian in an Enter the Dragon style tournament lacks the pizzazz of Cass doing the same thing. For example, let’s try Marvel.

Let’s say someone pitches an idea of a tournament arc styled after Game of Death. Immediately you think Martial Artists non-powered. Danny Rand, Daredevil, Elektra, Shang-Chi, Pei and Colleen Wing. Okay, instead of giving those characters the honor, you give the story to Black Cat. Honestly, I’d read it because Felicia could sell me a documentary on grass and I’d buy it but the point stands, why does Damian have this Bruce Lee inspired Martial Arts story versus the actual Chinese or East Asian Martial Arts focused member of the Batfamily, Cassandra Cain?

But this has nothing to do with what could have been. It’s a fun beginning of a possibly fun arc. In that regard, it delivers but what’s the point?

Like I said, fun story.

@ubernegro

[fellowstrangetownappreciator]

Playing Favorites (part 1)

...here we are not! Or are we?

Anyways, I’m on a ranting streak and I would like to present you with a verbose post about my favorite TS2 premades and why I love them.

It’s gonna be TOP 3! Or... more like TOP 5! No no no, still too few. TOP 10, maybe?

TOP 15 TS2 Premades (according to my personal tastes on 22. 04. 2021) (not in any particular order)

Erin Beaker (Strangetown)

Erin, the ray of sunshine in the Beaker clan. I headcanon her as a very smart but naive young woman who has just returned to Strangetown after graduating with a psychology degree from the La Fiesta Tech. In a fanfic I’m writing she joined Law Enforcement to put her “psychic powers” to use for “catching bad guys and protecting people” but she quickly becomes disenchanted with the actual police-work and starts her own little “adventure” to uncover the truth behind Strangetown’s most infamous mysterious deaths. In my current gameplay she’s in the Paranormal career.

The slow realization that all of her colleagues are scam artists and she might not have any powers either, almost destroyed her. But she didn’t give up. Yes, she may not have “powers” yet but that doesn’t mean she is not going to obtain them. And oh boy, she is. She builds ties with other residents, building her influence, collects skills and rare magical objects and travels a lot to understand and obtain mythical knowledge.

It’s not like she’s building a cult! It’s not how it looks, I swear! She’s way too nice to be a cult leader!

...she’s totally building a cult, although she doesn’t realize it yet.

I love Erin because she is a very flexible Sim. I find it very engaging to play a Sim that has such a different set of beliefs to mine. (Erin would be an anti-vaxxer and a user of essential oils and healing crystals, let’s accept the painful truth.) She also has a very interesting implied dynamics with her brother and with the rest of the Singles squad. She starts with a moderately low relationship with Chloe and it’s always interesting to see where it leads.

In conclusion: High intelligence, low wisdom queen.

Ripp Grunt (Strangetown)

There is something extremely relatable about Ripp. For me it’s the mystery of them growing up badly both toddler-to-child and child-to-teen, despite having been taught all toddler skills and their parents being still together and their mother still being alive. I read that as them struggling with depression since early childhood.

Maybe their parents’ relationship was already in a terrible shape when they were a small child and that’s the reason for their suffering? But Tank and Buck both grew up well under the same conditions which would indicate that there were more issues young Ripp was facing.

As you probably noticed, I headcanon Ripp as being too cool for the gender binary, using both he/him and they/them pronouns.

Anyway, there are many reasons to like Ripp. They stand up against their family’s xenophobia, violent nature and militarism. Having highest relationship with Buck out of the whole family, it is implied they’re a caring older sibling. Also, they’re framed as the underdog in the household, the trademark black sheep of the bunch who is never good enough, and are being actively mistreated by their emotionally distant macho father and physically abusive older brother.

Because of their amount of nice points and their rebellious nature (social conventions what?), I always play Ripp as polyamorous. They’re a Romance Sim, therefore they simply won’t be satisfied with just one partner in the long run but a wholesome consensual non-monogamy simply suits them better than the cheating bonanza Romance Sims often initiate, at least in my interpretation of the character. Let me just enjoy that and not think too much about the fact that since they grew up poorly two times, their life is probably going to be a relatively short one.

In conclusion: Have I mentioned that Romance is my second favorite aspiration?

Vidcund Curious (Strangetown)

Yes, him.

Vidcund is a very unpredictable Sim. He tends to cause a lot of trouble (3 nice points...) and generally sails through life being a jerk. But... A scientist? Unpopular? Cranky? Eccentric? That’s my kind of jerk.

You see, Vidcund’s not your average plant-loving conspirator, he has another side. He has a hidden Family token which makes him act a bit more Family Sim-ish. As a result of that, Vidcund tends to be a very attentive and protective father/uncle.

In my current gameplay, I gave him Family as a secondary aspiration to even strengthen this trait of his. It had mostly positive results but it did make him seem and act even more lonely.

I find Vidcund relatable even though I’m almost his exact opposite personality-wise. Maybe it is because I project my own autistic traits onto him? Maybe it is because he stands out like a sore thumb everywhere he goes (both fashion-wise and in behavior) and no matter what he does he always comes off a bit silly and somehow vulnerable?

I also love how if Strangetown is your main hood, if a Sim uses a telescope during the day anywhere in the game world, Vidcund makes the effort to travel there just to lecture them. It’s like a “Summon Vidcund” spell!

In conclusion: Playing Vidcund Curious is good for my soul.

Jill Smith (Strangetown)

In the shadow of her very popular brother, there is a little girl that will surely conquer the world someday.

Don’t worry, I love Johnny as much as the next person but my favorite member of the household is his little sister, Jill.

She has a vision. A very ironic one, given that she dreams about working with the sea creatures one day while living in the farthest possible place from the ocean but... if it’s ironic, it’s iconic.

Although she does have a token (Popularity) which makes her a bit more unique, there isn’t that much to the actual canonical portrayal, given that she is a small kid when you first play the Smiths and she has little going on for her aside of what is described in her bio. I mean, almost all kids act like they had a Popularity token anyway, the Grow Up aspiration is full of friend-making and socialization in general. But!

What she lacks in the Maxis character-building department, she makes up for in the sheer potential of what you could do with the character.

A human-passing half-alien hybrid who is, moreover, a member of the (in)famous scientist clan (...that what the Curious’ deserve to be)! She has the perfect balance of interesting and peaceful to be that Sim you can do anything with.

In my personal gameplay, she grew up to a teen and I chose Knowledge as her aspiration. She is friends with several stray animals, including the pack leader, so maybe there is a werewolf transformation in her future. She also rolled gay. She’s my laid-back lesbian disaster that knows more about the animal kingdom than pretty much anybody else in Strangetown, takes splendid care of her fish, hopelessly crushes on Lucy Burb and I love her to bits.

In conclusion: She deserves all the love and a career in Oceanography when she’s grown up.

Also, this post is getting massive even for my standards so I’ll cut it here and do the list in several parts.

[weaselbeaselpants]

I have a lot to say and not enough time to say it. It hurts, but ya’ll know what this is about so if you want my full fandom retrospective opinion thing guys, here.

I’ve been following Vivienne’s art and career since I found her on dA in 2009. I’ve basically grown up with her and have a wide range of opinions up and down her collective work. I must stress that I do not know her as a person and no matter how critical I get in my personal time if I somehow met her in real life or converse with her online again (like, back in the day we went back and forth. She was pretty nice to me), I’d be humble and congratulate her for her success.

Critique does not, EVER equate to attacking people.

But

the reason I don’t call myself a VivziePopVivzmind-fan is the exact same as to why I don’t like the proud use of ‘anti’. Let me try and explain -

The vast majority of Viv fans are just that: fans. Viv’s one of their favorite artists and they’re happy for her and obviously defensive when some mouth breather pops into their fan discussion calling her and all of them trash. Quite a lot of the Hazbin fans I know in my circle of friends are all pretty accepting and agree on the problematic notions and implications of her work.

HOWEVER, there’s a vocal minority in the VivziePop fandom that were and still are toxic. Their specific interest in Viv back in the day was toxic...and now that she’s moved on into a successful career I doubt they’ve gone away, considering the things I’ve heard. These people - they’d flood Viv’s comments sections and stuff with messages like they were talking to her when they weren’t and they’d unironically call her a god in a way that feels like gaslighting, ex: “I’ll NEVER be as good as you Viv! My art is just sooooo unpopular oh god you are incredible no one will ever like you as much as meeeee”. It made me uncomfortable. It made me not want to be around her because these people took Viv’s role in their lives so seriously and their demand for her attention...it struck a nerve.

These same fans have been around long enough to see actual shitlords - the likes of Kiwifarms and tapatalk wikis - come in and actually harass Viv. Viv’s been sent revenge porn by sick freaks who think they’re funny and believe she deserves it. No. In my non-name fan bystander opinion, Viv’s got some shit to work on, but no one deserves raperevenge porn. EVER. It was genuinely bad and yes Viv and her base have every reason to NOT TRUST these communities. Unfortunately, when these incidents happened, these particular fans took it upon themselves to gatekeep the fandom and act like Viv’s unofficial guard against any kind of decenting opinion of her, all without her say so.

((to the critics who will be all “but Viv or Faust said THIS to their fans-”, like I said, Viv’s far from perfect but regardless of how much she prolly wanted people to side with her I’m gonna guess that she didn’t want people sending transphobic death threats to DollCreep. Again, and this is coming from a bystander here, I have a feeling Viv knows about some of the toxicity but doesn’t know how/want to address it - which is a conversation all it’s own.))

This particular breed of VivziePop “fan” holds so much toxicity in her fandom(s). They aren’t the only cause, but they’re there. They feel entitled to her attention and her approval. They creep me out. Having spoken to other much-less critical admitted fans of Viv around me, these fans appear to creep everyone else out and put the rest of the fandom on edge. They’re gatekeepers. They’re creeps. Like the bronies and SU fans of yestertodayyears, they know harassment exists and that people have crossed the line - so they think any means is necessary to prevent that is automatically good. I could pile together all the incidents and folks who’ve had bad runs ins with this aftershock of Viv-obsession, but I do have a life of my own and this post is already stupid long so I’ll just list out the biggest examples and provide receipts when asked.

Critical blogs have gotten RAPE and death threats because they don’t like Viv’s art. HonestZoophobiaCriticisms, a blog I interracted with back in the day, def got one. Now Viv’s opinion of crit-blogs is that they’re “bad takes” but I can assure you she doesn’t want that shit being said on her behalf.

I’ve seen young artists get blacklisted from sites and forums cause they so much as post a redesign. Viv and co get told through the grapevine that someone’s making hatespeech and so preemptively block said person (prolly cause they’re in the middle of WORKING and can’t deal right now) only to find out after the fact that no, it was just a kid drawing their version of her characters. There’s serious miscommunication issues within the fandom about who’s ‘good’ or ‘bad’ and once you get the actual staff involved in this game of telephone you’re begging for trouble. The problem acknowledged, however, it’s souly from the “Viv never did anything wrong camp”. No word is said about how ugly the fandom is under the surface it’s all one type of person’s fault and not complicated’. Blah

I’ve only ever had ONE obsessive ‘fan’ who’d stalk me, mock me, and then redraw my art just to get attention from me. That shit fucked with my head. As a follower hundreds of miles away from Viv who’s agreed/disagreed with her through the years - I absolutely believe her when she says she hates ‘creeps’ and that she doesn’t want anyone in her fandom spreading hate on her behalf. It’s the one thing about her I’m POSITIVELY sure of. Whether she believes that said underlying harassment exists and/or is even a problem within her fandoms is anyone’s guess. That’s not what I’m here for. I’m here to write stupid blog entries like this, talk about fandoms and media and how they and the real world affect one another, and rb fan art I like. I’m cautiously optimistic fan with a side of salt.

Mixed opinions and critique within a fandom CAN and SHOULD exist. Hazbin Hotel has been greenlit by a studio! It has a product line of merchandise you buy. Helluva Boss is getting eight more episodes this coming year (yeeee:3yeeee). Two of Viv’s properties are now products. Nothing is immune from critique. And in critique you will find a lot of people who are not ‘nice’. Critique or analysis doesn’t have to be nice. There will be, in Viv’s words’ ‘bad takes’ on her writing. Maybe they will be actual CinemaSins-styled bad takes or maybe Viv is just mad that people don’t love and feel inspired by her characters the way she wants them to - it’s a fact she’s going to have to get used to.

((TBH, I’m pretty sure she’s already realized that criticism of all types need to exist. It’s just that, again, her and the SpindleHorse staff are kind of overwhelmed by all matter of takes and opinions coming their way they kinda can’t deal weeding out the fair ones from the assholes, so she lumps them all together.))

Shitposters, ironic fans, unironic fans, critical fans, just critics of Hazbin and Helluva CAN and WILL exist. They should exist and not feel threatened by the megafandom. There are people out there who are one step further and rightfully bothered by Hazbin/Helluva’s use of incorrect symbols, portrayal of certain topics, and the response by creators. These people have strong opinions and are actually disgusted by Viv. They deserve to exist too and should not be vilified because, like me, they’re commentary doesn’t consist of anything personal towards the people at Spindlehorse or the fans of her works. They can rant, they can be professional, they can be petty and they can be fair. But they will exist. You have to deal with it.

I am an ADD/OCD ridden autistic woman with serious anxiety issues who has no one to talk to half the time and so only HAS my fandom to communicate with. But that’s just it - it’s a fandom. A community. You have to learn to not think souly of yourself and of others in a community. A fandom doesn’t exist just for you or any one person. You have the right to be angry and defend or be offended. And it’s in the spirit of that that I ask, prrraaaaaay even, that I please

NOT BE CALLED AN “ANTI-ANTI” for not liking the moniker?!

I DON’T TO BE AN “ANTI”. Not ironically, not unironically. ‘Anti’ should be for politics and shit like pedophiles, necrophiles, nazis, serial killer stans, Trump, racists, antisemites, terfs, animal abusers, rapists, and antivaxxers. Anti should only come into critical media analysis when these ethical issues follow suit IN TO fandom discussion. ((EX: Anime and MLP proudly waving their cp and non-con into the public eye; Hazbin appropriating cultural symbols which are not satanic; Basically anything that concerns John K or Butch Hartman.))

If your DNI list unironically consists of the entirety of one fandom:  CONGLATURATIONS! You have done the exact same thing these particular creepy Viv fans have done: monopolize the conversation. And yes, people I’m referring to, IT’S STILL A PROBLEM EVEN IF YOU’RE FIGHTING RACISM/SEXISM/HOMOTRANSPHOBIA.

There are hundreds of Vivziefans who ARE more critical, accepting of faults, interested in discussion and especially rewrite and redesign stuff who would LOVE to engage with you and give you a follow. There’s hundreds of people who no doubt agree with you!

But the thing I’ve seen these very proud AntiHazbinVivzieHelluvaWhatever blogs do is lash out at fans for continuing to like Viv and consume Viv’s art in a healthy way. What the actual fuck is your problem?

I get it. Say a crazy Hazbin fan gets on your case for even SUGGESTING Viv could be homophobic ((”SHE’SBIANDWORKSWITHGAYPPLblahablahblah”)). They get in your face, make some callouts, try to rile up support against you, leave disgusting harassment throughout your social media? Absolutely ban worthy. After that it’s perfectly understandable why you don’t want to engage with anything HHHBZPVivzierelated because you’re so fucking tired of being labeled an abuser or “just jealous” for having an opinion on a show you don’t like. I’m with you!

But,

A fan agrees that something in the canon is bad or that Viv did something they don’t like?

A fan likes your silly shitpost meme?

A fan asks if they can like Hazbin and follow you at the same time? 

A fan does fan art of something you don’t like?

If your response to any of these ^^^ things is to get LOUD and accusatory, Vivsplain them about how they’re an absolutely awful person to ever question YOUR opinion, or just block them without a second thought? You’re a petty, vendictive shit and you also need to learn to let things go. I’m sorry but you do. As I already said, Viv’s work is a brand at this point, not just the work of a singular person. As such, there are gonna be mixed opinions and you can’t judge every single one of these people by what they like. You’re a shitty critic with a shitty attitude and yes that will demean the value of what you’re saying. This is bad because, if you’re trying to point out how Angel Dust’s abuse IS handled terribly; gay rep in Viv’s work is weak and terrible; the show appropriates closed practices; the fandom makes excuses for predatory artists and creepy behavior and individuals who have sketchy pasts - I’M WITH YOU. WE NEED TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS SHIT. JUST BECAUSE THESE ARE ADULT CARTOONS SET IN HELL MEANS THERE SHOULD BE ANYTHING CLOSE TO 2013 PONY-TUMBLR. <<<---- this shit is as important to me as it is to you and I really don’t like being called an abuser or apologist for saying “hey maybe blowing up at ppl for the shows they like ISN’T the way to go about this”. 

But I have, just like the good old days of 2015 Zoophobia of yore, been blocked because I admit to being tired of ‘Anti’ being equated to ‘critical’. Same with hater.

Critical DOES NOT = Anti+Hater. I’m fucking tired of people saying it does and I’m tired of people taking up the term as some weird form of fandom reappropriation. It’s stupid.

Tl;dr: Once upon a time, I was in a budding fandom for something I liked made by an indie artist I watched on dA. I wanted to be a bigger fan than I was already, but was told by toxic people within said fandom that I couldn’t be part of it for reasons they’d made up in their head about my ‘motives’ against Viv. My admiration for Viv or what I liked about Zoophobia didn’t matter because I thought the story was really rushed and people weren’t being truthful with how they really felt about it - ergo, I HAD TO GO. 

Flash forward 8 years later- My opinion of Viv’s body of work has changed but I still find myself in love with her style and some of her characters. I want to be on a forum or service that gives a healthy look at the problems there are with this series and fandom...and I’m met repeatedly by petty bs where people are again at each other’s throats. And yes, I do think it’s causing more harm than good especially when you insist there’s a “x person shouldn’t be trusted” mentality when fighting actual fucking racist, xenophobic, predatory bullshit.

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Keeper of the Spire

You wouldn’t know it upon first watch, but today’s story is one of the few non-filler episodes of season two. 

Summary:  In order to acquire the third scroll piece, Rapunzel, Eugene, Cassandra and Lance travel to the home of the Keeper of the Spire and meet Calliope who informs them the third piece is kept inside the Spire’s vault at the top of the mountain. The group begins the long journey to the Spire's vault the following day and become increasingly annoyed by Calliope’s rude, arrogant and inconsiderate behavior. Despite Calliope's treatment, Rapunzel insists they still need her help all while they being dangerously pursued by the vault's protector, the Kurlock. The group eventually reach the Spire's vault, but again encounter the Kurlock and discover Calliope is not the real Keeper of the Spire.

Once Again, ‘Destiny’ Isn’t a Goal

If you want to build up some sort of mystery with the scroll pieces and what awaits Rapunzel at the end of her quest, then that’s fine. But at some point you have to actually explain what her destiny actually is, how the scroll connects to it, and most importantly, why she needs to fulfill it. 

We’re never given a reason for why Rapunzel needs to reconnect to the moonstone, nor why she couldn’t have just stayed home and did nothing. The scroll itself doesn’t tell her anything and what it leads up to has nothing to do with ‘destiny’ and ultimately comes to nothing in the grand scheme of things.  

Indeed, much like the quest itself, things would have been better for everyone had she not found the scroll at all. 

Meet the Best Written Character In the Show

No, I’m not exaggerating. Calliope is the only recurring character in the series not to get royally screwed over by last minute rewrites and poor pacing. In fact her arc may have actually been improved by the dumb creative decisions of season three.  

Which is a problem because she’s not a main character. Her story and arc shouldn’t be more well rounded than Rapunzel’s. It’s also clear, given how the writers try to pitt her as annoying thorn in the heroes sides that is only tolerated because she’s useful, that they weren’t expecting the general audience to identify with her, and so her subsequent portrayal as the most developed character in the show is fully accidental.    

We Finally Get Some Indication of Cassandra’s Age

Well first off, we probably shouldn’t be getting such information about our deuteragonist this late in the game, but also, putting Cass in her early 20s recontextualizes her arc the same way Varian being 14 recontextualizes his conflict, but in the opposite direction. A 24 year old is more accountable for their actions than a 14 year old. Always will be. 

And before people try to get all pedantic on me; yes she’s only 23 here, and Varian is currently 15. What I meant is those are their ages at the start of their villain arcs, because the linear progression of time is a thing. 

This Joke Actually Highlights One of the Bigger Problems of Season Two

I laughed when I first heard this joke, but that’s cause I was under the assumption that they would go on to develop a friendship between Cass and Lance as the season went on. But they don’t. 

Cass never has any focus episodes that aren’t about her failing relationship with Rapunzel. She never interacts with the other four people that she’s traveling with outside of group scenes like this. Not even with Eugene, who we spent the whole previous season establishing a bond with. 

This undermines Cassandra’s arc in several ways. She less well rounded and developed without other people in her life besides Rapunzel; it ignores her place in the show as the older and wiser friend if she’s so majorly co-dependent upon only person. It also ignores what was set up in season one in order to push a certain narrative later that clashes with what we the audience already know.  

Plus there’s the added effect of other characters getting poor representation within the story. 

So Why Didn’t the Others Come Along Again?

I understand not being able to take the caravan upto the top of the mountain, but the road was wide enough to get it up this far. Also it didn’t take you all day to get here so you could just walk back to camp. 

But let's get to the real reason why the caravan was left behind. The writers wanted and excuse to get rid of Hookfoot and Shorty. Because they didn’t want to write them into the story. Because they have nothing to do with the overall plot and together they’re one too many characters to keep up with and give stuff to do to. Which begs the question of why they were ever included into the season at all. 

Also why leave Adria behind? She was the one who sent them up here. She’s the one who has a vested interest in getting Rapunzel to the end of her journey. She’s the only one driving the plot at the moment, so why not have her present to do just that?  

Rapunzel is a Hypocrite 

There’s not a single description that Rapunzel says here that couldn’t be applied to herself. 

Which would be funny if the writers ever actually acknowledged this within the series. 

Having parallels simply exist on their own and not actually inform the story is bad writing. Same with character flaws; acknowledge them, use them to advance both the plot and the characters, and build off of them to establish character dynamics. This is in part why Calliope is the better written character between the two of them. 

Behold, the One and Only Time Lance and Rapunzel Hold a Conversation with One Another! 

Speaking of characters not getting enough focus.... It’s just a set up for a recurring gag in the episode, but this is indeed the only point in the series where Lance and Rapunzel talk, about anything. 

It’s not just Cass who is prevented from establishing relationships, it’s literally everyone. All of Rapunzel’s focus episodes alternate between Cassandra, Eugene, or a random side character. Cassandra only gets focus when with Rapunzel. Eugene only gets development with either Rapunzel or on his own. Lance is only ever shown interacting with Eugene or Adria, outside of some highly specific one off instances like here. Hookfoot is left out in the cold save for three episodes and two of them double as New Dream folder. 

We’ve managed to pair the cast down to only six, as opposed to a whole kingdom’s worth of characters, and yet they have less development here than they did in season one. The group does not feel like a group, and that is a problem. 

How is This Meant to be Encouraging? 

Ok, I get what the writers were going for here. Calliope has low self esteem. she feels useless because she’s lost her only support group, her mentor. So Rapunzel is ‘inspiring’ her to fulfill her dream of becoming the new keeper of the spire. 

However, this is an incredibly bad take. 

Calliope lacks self esteem because she’s lonely. Her dream of becoming the keeper is directly tied to her father figure, who up till now was the only person who gave a damn about her. She only wants to impress Rapunzel because she wants a friend and she believes that she needs to be useful in order to get that. And here is Rapunzel and the narrative reinforcing that belief under the guise of ‘achieving a dream’. 

No fuck that! 

You don’t need to have a ‘purpose’ to have friends.You shouldn’t have to prove yourself useful just be respected and included. Also, Rapunzel doesn’t even befriend her. She just uses Calliope to get what she wants and then avoids her for the rest of the show; only checking up on her out of obligation in season three. 

So not only are we denied another female friendship in a show bereft of female relationships, but we also have a character who can be easily read as autistic by the audience needing to prove she’s useful to society in order to be accepted. 

Ugh! 

And yeah, I said autistic. We have a character who fails to pick up on social cues, hyperfixates upon her special interests, is rejected by society for trying to share these special interests, and she even pulls out her magic linked rings to fiddle with when stressed, which can be coded as a stim. I’m not saying that this was the writers’ intent, but nevertheless these are traits that people on the autism spectrum tend to identify with. 

So how insulting is it to watch this episode and see someone you could relate to being constantly put down by the heroes behind their back and then never apologize for it, even when said character admits their own fault? 

So Are We Ever Going to Get Any Background on this Spire? 

So the spire is one of the few places that is plot important in the show. Yet we never find out why it exists, who built it, how it came to hold such important plot devices, nor the story behind the keepers who guard it. It’s just there, and that’s infuriating because it’s both a lack of much needed worldbuilding and lore. 

Still A Better Dad than Frederic

Leaving for months on end without telling you loved ones why and where you’re going is a shitty thing to do. Doubly so if its just to teach your kids ‘a lesson’. However, The Keeper still winds up being a better parental figure than most of the other dads (besides Cap, who is awesome) in the series. That’s how low the bar has been dropped by Chris and his weird ideas on parenting. 

So What Was the Lesson Here?

Ok first off, Calliope didn’t need to be reminded of anything. The Keeper says as much. She was always persistent. The only lesson that she does learn is not to lie but apparently that’s not what we’re supposed to take from this episode. 

But what are we supposed to take away? Because Rapunzel doesn’t learn anything either. There’s no admittance of wrongdoing on her part  and she does not change her outlook or behavior from this encounter. 

Calliope at least learns to become more self assured after this episode and remains honest and true to herself once the episode is done with. Rapunzel however is the same. You can’t claim that this is ‘Rapunzel’s story’ (Chris’s words not mine) if it’s only random side characters who are allowed to grow.  Which is yet another reason why the main cast of characters don't get the development and interaction that they should.

That’s also why Calliope is better written than the main character and she shouldn’t be. It’s a bewilderingly oversight of basic writing.

Conclusion 

I don’t mind this episode. As I said in the beginning, it is one of the few non-filler episodes in season two. However, there’s a lot of problems with it to the point where I can’t actually call it good, just mediocre. 

[aerial-aspie]

An Autistic Point of View 21 (Summer Camp Edition)

Hi there it's Hazel! I'm finally back after a bit of a too long break because I've been struggling to find things to write about (which is also called being too lazy too) but I actually have something to talk about today! Yay!

So if you haven't seen on some of my earlier posts, I am a youth summer camp leader and 3 weeks ago I led for my first time and this is how it went.

Coming from a northern city in England, it was already difficult because everyone else was from London and were all talking gossip about people at school and would leave me out of everything, telling me I didn't want to know. I felt left out and isolated because I couldn't join in conversations as much because I didn't know who anyone was. This went on for the full four days of pre-camp preparations and it was quite difficult, another thing that happened was someone used the phrase 'you're not Jewish if you don't know...' and this was about a musical called 13 which was about a Bar Mitzvah. I'd never heard of it because I mostly know things that people tell me about or that I've seen come on tour and I wasn't sure how to respond because I didn't know it.

We also had multiple clashes in interests because the interests of all the girls (who I clashed with more) were more mainstream such as watching love island (I hate that show with a passion, it's disgusting), being die hard mamma mia fans (the songs are annoying and the film is awful in my opinion) and this is about everyone, they love pop music (again, I hate pop music and would much rather listen to vocaloid, jpop, electro swing, heavy metal and whatever is on my weird playlist). So because of this we clashed quite badly, especially over our opinions on love island because I'm so opinionated on how much I hate that show and they love it we got into a somewhat argument, so I left the building and went back to my dorm because it was the evening when we could do basically what we wanted.

Now I've gotten that off my chest, I need to say that I loved the group of people I was leading with. Yes we didn't get along interests wise and north, south divide didn't help but they were lovely to lead with and some of them I've come out with friends for life (well if we can keep in contact).

When the kids came it was so daunting, but luckily my friend Ash (who is leading with me) was on the coach with them because they had just had covid and had to isolate before coming, but they were fine.

I can't really remember fully what went on every day but I can tell you that the first meal time was horrible. I had this one kid on my table who begged me for the full half an hour about what we were doing next and I couldn't tell him at all and was panicking about what to say. I grabbed one of the senior leaders and was like "help, I don't know what to do" and he gave me some tips but even then, the kid wouldn't get off my back. He started being like "I hate it when people keep secrets from me, my mum once kept a secret from me and it was so horrible so tell me what we're doing please" (this is not exactly word for word what he said but he did bring his mum into it).

However, dinner was luckily over and I thought I was done with him but whilst we were blocking the entrance to one of the buildings whilst the activity was being set up, he went at me again and I was really struggling and panicking. Ash, who is one of my closest friends and knows me better than any of the other leaders, quickly spotted I was in a bad position and turned to me and said "Hazel, I think you're needed inside" and instantly got me out of that stressful situation. I thanked them for it later because it really saved me from a panic attack.

I only had one major panic attack through the entirety of camp, which is the best I've ever come out of one before. The one I had was because we were running early and had to think of something to do. I was suddenly told in front of all the kids with no prior warning that I was leading an invisible circus session and I found and excuse to leave the room and then I panicked. From there on out, the people running the camp knew they had to pre warn me about anything that was causing major changes and I would have to do things on the spot (even though I already told them that when we talked about my needs on a call prior to camp).

Last extremely negative moment when leading, then I'll get onto the positive sides. The kids were so hard work and one day they had 4 discipline talks and it did nothing. We were getting so annoyed and upset that Tammy had to do a full powerful speech about how upset we all were and I could see she was struggling too. Because of this, she wasn't in the next session she was leading with me (and I do not and will not blame her for it because she was so upset and needed that break). Luckily, Ethan was there to help me out and helped run the session and keep the moral high up for the kids as I was really struggling. At dinner I basically broke and after went to sit in the welfare room, there was another kid in there from another bubble and so I moved a chair just to put more distance between us and it was stuck to a phone lead and the phone clattered to the floor. This kid was very noise sensitive and was so frightened, I apologised so much to them before they got taken out and that was enough to set the tears off. There were leaders from the other camp there who knew me and comforted me (socially distant) because they understood I was having a terrible day.

I was then kicked out the welfare room because kids from the other camp were eating in there and this was for safeguarding reasons and so I got sent to one place to wait for the welfare officer but she was already there with someone else. I was basically a stranded autistic person, mid meltdown, not knowing where to go.

I did get rescued by another set of leaders who make our resources and they sat and talked to me whilst I cried it out. I really wanted to go home then, I hated it so much that day and soon the welfare officer came and I talked it out to her before ringing my parents and telling them about it.

I didn't go home in the end and made it all the way through.

Now for the good moments.

Meetings in the evenings were the funniest moments ever, where we talked about about our day and told funny stories and they never failed to make me laugh and always made my day, plus they were always followed by snacks!

We led some amazing activities where the kids got so into them and joined in with everything so that we all had a blast in the end. Site activities were so fun and I got to do high ropes, crate stacking and climbing and I loved it. Me and Ash went as a pair in crate stacking and I fell off at 6 crates, while they got to 13 and it was supposed to be a pairs challenge. But let me say, I screamed the whole way up the crate stacking.

The last night of camp talent show was hilarious. I got to do my poi in it because I was not comfortable doing what everyone else was doing, which was being randomly assigned acts on the go and you had to go up and improvise. But all the improvisation acts by the leaders were so funny, there was; the freedom sandwich song with a singer and someone with a broken finger on recorder, bohemian rhapsody without the vowels, slam poetry about the clavicle and more and it was so funny and such a great night.

The last night of camp in general was great because I pigged out on ice cream and popcorn and got my face painted as a cat. It was great except me 2 hour shift of watching the quiet sleeping area, which was dead boring but then I got to sleep early.

Finally, I did a talk on autism, at first it was just a half an hour chat session where Ash came to sit and listen and also crowd control in case anyone was silly in it. I only had 3 people turn up and another leader ran a football chat session to try and bring more people to mine (how sweet of them) so I ended up with 5 of them, all of them boys.

I thought they would mess around but they were so mature it was amazing! They asked loads of interesting questions about what it was like to be autistic and I answered them all and I loved this talk so much because I was so happy when it ended because it went so well and all the boys said I was now their favourite leader and it made me so happy.

I then ran this talk again in a session which was an hour where you could move between chats freely, whenever you wanted to. Ash was inspired by my autism talk and wanted to do one on being non-binary however, they didn't want to stop people from coming to mine. I turned round and said it doesn't matter about who comes and who doesn't, you should lead it, don't let me hold you back. And they did it! I was so proud of Ash for leading that talk.

I ended up getting all the boys in my talk, whilst Ash got all the girls (which they all apologised to me about not coming but I said it was fine and that they could come and ask questions at any time). All the boys were mature again and I got to happily chat about being autistic and I loved listening to all the questions they asked and anecdotes about people they knew and it went so well again.

Finally, my last highlight was Ash's 'why don't we talk about periods' session which most of the leaders all assisted on because it was so interesting. All the girls were sharing stories, I shared a story and even lots of boys turned up and one was brave enough to ask where the blood goes which I was so proud of him for asking. Whilst the female participants found that question funny, we were making this boy feel good for asking because we thought it was a mature question to come from a 12 year old boy and happily answered it.

To help desensitise people to some of the words we were using, we had everyone yelling period, menstruation, period blood, etc and it was good fun and I loved it.

And that's all about being autistic as a summer camp leader, will I lead again? Probably not. I considered trying again next year but it clashes with the commonwealth games and whilst there were positives from leading, there were lots of negatives too that were off putting and I'd rather go to the commonwealth games.

I hope you enjoyed it and see you next time!

[iconsumeheadcanons]

persona characters autism headcanons!

hi im autistic and i started my day with sun so now im !!!!!!!!! some of these headcanons are from elsewhere on tumbr, but i dont know where :(((  so i am hoping someone out there knows that n that everybody knows that i love them <3

(also go check out mollypaup and i think hypeswap if you havent already! they post some good stuff autism+adhd hc too!!! i think.. oh! and thieves-in-the-palace!!!)

P5

Joker

there was some artwork from someone on tublr..where they pointed out that he doesnt really talk outside the metaverse so--hes hyperverbal as joker and just near nonverbal as akiren

he stims ALL THE TIME. that phone thing, the pencil thing, the little tappy tap of his foot, pulling at his bangs when hes embarrassed/smug. someone get him a fidget spinner. he’ll prob learn to do tricks with it

he probably sucks at focusing in class, like i know its just the game design but hes always surprised out of his daily “star out the window at the nearby office building” when his teachers ask him questions

mona mentions when the pt is at Wilton for the first time (after they run into shido) that joker eats like shit, and that could have multiple causes at the start of the story of course, but when i first played i thought that joker was a picky eater and that the variety (and amount of food) at the buffet would be an Ordeal...

tho mona makes that comment bc joker looked pale after having a little ptsd moment from shidos voice, but i didnt know that the first time i played

maybe when joker makes a face at ryuji putting so much ginger in his gyudon? joker probably does not like pickled ginger lol

his favortive foods are all spicy, which is why the curry he makes for his friends is always ‘overly spicy’, and why kasumi makes him a curry bento and joker kept going “...?” .... “....?!”

overly reflective glasses have been a great plus for him bc now he never has to make real eye contact every again!

mona Soft. play with Ann hair. maybe Braid. nice

puns (Gorou the Goroumet)

he has so many options to be straight up rude sometimes in game. he probably no clue on his own, which is why he defaults to Not Talking. people probably mention his constant scary face, which is just him being nonexpressive, squinting at all the fucking bright lights, and Tired

executive function who? we do everything last minute folks

high pain tolerance, which is why he was the kid that was always climbing trees in elementary school to get basketballs unstuck from the branches

his sixth sense lets him see treasure and possible places to climb/crawl bc 1. Shiny? Steal it. Steal it Now. and 2. Could i fit in that? Time to Find Out

probalby a bit of a klepto too oops. he’ll return it tho!! but he has to do it dramatically or he’ll die

cant sit properly to save his life

smells and touch are Great, they can keep him grounded when his brain goes off to police or dead rivals or guilt or

if a friend hung out with him and gave him total reigns of the agenda, he would choose to nap on the floor while his friend does something off to the side quietly

hyperfocuses on handy tasks (i.e. lockpicks, coffee brewing, cleaning, his part time jobs) and some things like movies and books. everything else is a tossup

his (normal) navigation app is his most used app bc he still doesnt know where hes going, even though he only goes to the same few places in the city

hates being sweaty, literally cannot stand it. probably double exhausted during the summer

but Needs Compression so hes often Struggling

Futaba

paraphrase from p5d “i have no motor skills so i cant play rhythm games :(” need i say more? (i will regardless)

echolalia all the time, from anime, memes, the PT

those headphones she wears all the time? noise cancelling ear protectors babey

only talks about her interests, “normal” talking is Not Easy, but she is still communicative w others despite her worries. shes not “hard to understand” at all but she feels the anxiety nonetheless

only talks informally, cannot talk ‘politely’ with out imitating someone around her

shes had meltdowns and anxiety attacks in game :( i relate so hard

Technology. thats it

def had an egypt phase that pops up every few months. probably came from yu-gi-oh

has Immune to Bright Lights buff.  joker is very jealous

“Time to make like a tree and leave!” and 30 other iterations

video game metaphors are the only ones that makes sense to her

probably relates hard to robot characters in anime for their general androgyny and confusion about human emotions and connections

probably gets told that shes “too smart to be on the spectrum” by teachers >:( she fails their classes on purpose

wakaba’s autistic too that just how it is

the Connection that she establishes with Joker is so Warm. my life goals include adopting an older brother like futaba has lsdkfjslkfj

also eater of 5 foods only, i mean, she brings cup ramen to the beach. i just really admire her...

hides in small spaces for comfort

doesnt she have like uhhhhh hyperthymesia or something like that?

Yusuke

art

his entire social link is learning how humans work, which i relate

talks seriously all the time

“sarcasm? who is that? are you saying I was sarcastic?...how?”

cant remember to take care of his body, and madarame did not help with that either

lot of uncomfortable staring, hes overdoing the eye contact thingy

infodumps all the time, doesnt know hes doing it

needs a lot of support even if he doesnt think he deserves it. no one ever complains about helping him out tho

visual stims my friends

he didnt know that you could look up pictures on the internet but he does know you can stream live videos of waterfalls and fluffy animales!!

I am certainly in the mood

for something salty today.

he and joker are scared of math. numbers do not interact

Yusuke, futaba, and akiren are a trio and i know this bc their first day of non-thievery interacts is Akiren clearing Futabas room w/o permission, futaba hyperfocusing on destroying medjed, and yusuke rearranging futabas figurines so they are more visually appealing

morgana is a support friend for all of them bc igor knows they need it

P4

Souji/Yu

yes, he mostly wears gray semi formal clothes bc parents tell him to, no, he will not changes this

Schedule or Death

“sorry, could you repeat that?” “huh? oh yeah, i was saying that--” “yeah that’d be cool.”

cats, fishing, he just likes to be quiet. you can literally spend a day at the beach just to think if you want, and that is what yu want

has a lot of scripts for things (of which he shares with nanako!) but if he runs out he just stops talking..

inaba is a godsend bc its so fucking quiet and warm

he Yearns to hold his friends hands, but he shies away from a lot of touch (excepting yosuke, teddie, and nanako)

Cooking and Cleaning makes the world better. he and joker vibe together with this

unlike akiren, he strong arms any executive dysfunction into Be Productive or Else. his punishment is feeling the pure anxiety of having to make up for ‘lost time’. (another symptom of his workaholic parents)

writes everything down, notes are very neat, has pages dedicated for bad doodles when hes not feeling his usual Super Classroom Focus

Cannot handle secondhand embarrassment (most often caused by yosuke) and will quietly slip away to random cats or origami folding

hungry, crunch crunch folks. probably needs chewelry bc he used to chew on his shirt collars when he was younger.

cleans up after everyone in the food court, constantly worries about them accidently hurting themselves. likely spends half of group conversations watching peoples hands

he canonically eats expired food, nanako plz help your brother

really clumsy, but people only notice after they decide that he is a cool person

video games are too chaotic for him

exhausted every night from the pure amount of masking he does, if a friend spends the night (or is like yosuke) they will know his more comfortable weirdo self (tho everyone knows hes a weirdo eventually)

hyperempathetic, sometimes just understands animals and children better than peeople his age or older

Yukiko

her jokes

she and souji get in ‘trouble’ together, she and joker commit crimes together

she and chie have to coordinate outfits, its important

actually understands metaphors, but does not understand people

like me, had no clue that creepy kid was flirting with her

she is very angry when she has meltdowns that might involve slamming doors and shouting. her parents call these ‘tantrums’ and ‘unfitting for a polite daughter’ but really thats because her meltdowns tend to be caused by arguments w her family after a long day of school and TV world traipsing

the metronome meme, except hers goes between Loudest Person in the Room to Quietest Pin Drop in the Planet. she is completely unaware of this

her atmosphere brightens when chie appears. that is not only the lesbian energy within her, but also because chie is like her Favorite Person

Cannot wear Pants. No (tho she wants to try it! but she puts them on and her soul instantly squashes)

happy flappy lesbian! watch out!

Naoto

the pouty face. all the time lskdfjlasdkf

hes really snappy sometimes and i love that for him. he and akechi should fight just to see what would happen (please read Bang Bang Shoot Shoot on AO3)

“do not touch me or my hat, thank you”

no one has ever seen him shutdown and no one ever will (except for his grandpa)(and kanji)(and rise)

probably likes certain food textures and will stand for nothing less, probably feels embarrassed about his preferences with friends

constantly jumps between ‘everybody hates me so i should act like them so they dont hate me’ to ‘i refuse to be anything but very comfortable as myself, and i dont care that im making you upset sir’

he and souji are the king and queen of subtle stims, but for unhappy reasons :(

does not make jokes. cannot joke around. understand? yes, do? no.

loose clothes are the only good clothes, but all tags and obtrusive seams will be obliterated by kanji tatsumi

not very empathetic so he probably comes off as an asshole to strangers (like when he throws away his classmates confession letters without reading them) but he tries so hard to sound comforting when his buds are struggling.

his understanding of others emotions/reactions come from his learning as a detective, which seems cold+clinical to others, especially compared to souji, whos completely unexpressive but very introverted people person

P3

Hamuko/Minako/Kotone

big personality!! very people-oriented!! koromaru and her are buddies!! when shes having a real bad time, shes very quiet and expressions turn off

interrupts herself in the middle of conversations all the time. no one knows where shes coming from. her brains is thousands of km ahead of her body

bouncey legs, swingin arms, twirlly skirt, little somersaults! when will she stop? never!

very obvious music stims with her hands and arms! people are like “oh there she goes! happy as usual!” shes listening to minatos heavy metal playlist

switches from exhausted to excited within milliseconds. no one can predict, not even her

SEES has to ask her for context all the time cuz she’ll just continue shit from 2 weeks ago without warning

professionals will assume shes very childish bc of how chipper she is, but she is beyond mature for her age and only feels comfortable enough to have serious conversations if a person has proved themself able to handle it

collects every little thing. her room is a mess and she has to get rid of most of it every time she moves :(

hates cleaning! smells bad, feels bad hhhhhgggg

dont let mitsuru-senpai see her bedroom

gets lost in the middle of conversations with others bc shes thinking about a story connected to one(1) word that was said earlier

 no sense of time and place, she just sees her friends and goes “ah, this is the right place, then” but junpei and akihiko are also lost so now theyre all screwed

Minato/Makoto/Sakuya

no talkies, no walkies

his story in the movies is him literally learning how to function around people he cares for

doesnt get jokes, expressions, body language, empathy, subtlety, metaphors, physical contact, or eye contact. aigis is probably the only person he truly understands right away

he is still nice to people because he doesnt see a reason not to be, but also he has very limited energy so only his senpai and old people get his most polite-kindnesses

cannot describe feelings for the life of him. the team wont know hes injured or sick until hes passed out

everything is too loud, time to drown it out with my loud ass music

rocking and chewing stims, ryoji is the first person to point him out for these subtle stims (not accusingly of course, just general pure curiosity and love for the uniqueness of humanity)

likes to cover his face with whatever is available, lives like a bat in a dark dry cave

will wear anything that has pockets and his blue/gray/black palette

sleepy at all times bc he never has much energy

when he was younger he probably needed a lot of support, especially after his parents died, because he wouldnt communicate like a neurotypical and would shutdown for hours in the middle of school without warning. probably missed a lot of lessons and field trips out of pure overstimulation

eating at all times. no preference, just whatevers closest

his meltdowns probalby include humming whining noises and curling up in a ball, which makes people want to touch him, but that is the LAST thing he wants. put a blanket on him! play some music! do not talk and do not expect him to speak

aigis is the only person who can touch him normally bc her hands are cold and he likes cold

never nude, feels mmmmmmmmm without clothes and probalby wears a full robe in the hotsprings

will not do things that take more than one step w/o someone else walking him thru it, which Same

[thaliatimsh]

So I saw your meme about the eucharist monologue, which I loved, but the possibility of George Hodgson being autistic has lived in my head rent free ever since I saw it. It fits his behaviors so well, and to this date has been one of the most galaxy brain takes I have ever seen. I was wondering, if you don't mind of course, explaining your take on it some. I would really appreciate it!

of course! I have to say it is.... mostly just a gut instinct based on my own experiences as an autistic person with variously autistic family members (but all falling under the bracket in ASD that used to be called Asperger’s so my view is coloured by that.) and... UH, I just... feel like I recognise.

(opens UnfinishedHodgsonEssayThree.doc)

okay I am once again REALLY BAD at explaining myself, but I guess what I mean is that I can see where every mental leap Hodgson makes comes from - that he is, at his core, a man who is extroverted and friendly, wants more to be *liked* than admired - but for whom social skills don’t come naturally, and other outcomes aren’t imagined.

We catch him time and again exposition/info dumping -

+’the xing mission came aboard’ from the alternate wardroom cut - an event he was PRESENT FOR but still tells like a rote fact

+’they say she talked up a storm until her father died’

+’the word diet -’

+intro to the Comanches Bit= ‘my mother’s cousin had a relation who married Texas man, moved to a territory town there called Victoria in ‘38′... ALL OF THIS UNNECESSARY PREAMBLE

making poorly-timed/not relateable/barely-relevant/professionally inappropriate jokes

+’now she’s ~~all silence~~” @ random AB

+’they must we waltzing with that bear after all’ re: a crisis

+’[frostbite is worse because] I play the clavier back home’ @ random Marine/ship’s boy/AB re: ‘sir there is a monster out here’

+’hear hear’ about the pudding that used up their fruit

+’when the ship sets sail, make sure you’re aboard’ @ a rando caulker’s mate

+’would that be rocks here, then?’ re: caribou tastes of what it eats

+’[the beard] can’t hurt where we’re going’ @ rando caulker’s mate (??) who’s just shown aSTONISHING disrespect

+’dis-moi ce que tu manges’ @ rando NOT-caulker’s mate-turned-Godkin re: man-eating monster

PLUS a few barely-relevant personal anecdotes told more to himself than anyone else (Comanches bit/American Ham/Eucharist Monologue) - and yeah, Ep8 and The Comanches Bit in particular are what cements my opinion, which, I mean, from the top:

Little & Hodgson charge into the tent and give this absolutely confident rundown of what happened, and then we watch the surety in Hodgson’s entire bearing leave as crozier, fitzjames & blanky take him off-script. He'd known what he was doing, because he'd taken the situation at face value -

'those dastardly natives committed unspeakable acts on lt irving and mr farr! I know so because mr hickey saw it! we retaliated!'

and crozier & fitzjames would finally go 'well done george, quick thinking.'

but they don't! There are other questions! questions he's not prepared for - questions that take processing time, questions he doesn't even seem to understand why they're being asked - he hadn't previously asked them because Mr Hickey Saw Dastardly Natives Cut Lt Irving's Cock And Balls Off - when Crozier says 'I want to see the bodies' and leaves Hodgson behind in the tent, he looks utterly baffled. He's missed something, clearly, but he has no clue what it is.

We know what he's asking Little, and we know it's unfair to even pose the question to another officer - I'm getting the sinking feeling that I've fucked up - did I do the right thing? would YOU have done what I did?

and he'd take ANY ANSWER to ANY of those questions, - you've done something terrible, you're going to hell - you were right, those dastardly natives had it coming - I don't know, but I'd probably have done the same thing - but instead gets Edward Little 'If that's what you thought at the time, then that's what you thought!' it's fucking MEANINGLESS and VAGUE, Edward, listen, do you even understand why I thought what I thought? I know all about Dastardly Natives, they'll kill women and children and they'll kill us too, do you understand, do you understand, are you understanding -

And then he understands, from one bit of seal meat, barely digested - you can almost see it happen in his mind’s eye, moving the little markers of the characters around, slotting the real story back together - he must have been alone with Mr Farr - but no-one’s interested in that. all they want to know is if he’ll confirm it, and of course he will. it’s the truth.

I know it’s very funny to say Hodgson’s bad at his job but until that entire debacle... he really wasn’t. Yes, he let EC in, but the fact that he had even the SLIGHTEST inkling that EC and Hickey weren’t the same, after a single meeting of a few minutes with the first, during which time he spent most of his time writing, a month apart from the previous - I???? All that scene does is show that Hodgson has a near-preternatural memory for faces (he greets Morfin by name before getting his papers) and a non-confrontational manner.

I’ve written at length about how I think Hodgson models the social standings between the men as something like school; Crozier’s Headmaster, and Fitzjames is his teacher, and Edward’s Head Boy, and he is a prefect who is going to keep the separation between student body and staff quiet. He isn’t a Captain - he’s a Lieutenant, a prefect, a fellow student who thinks he’s better than a fellow student because the Headmaster gave him power, and when he ends up with the Rowdy Boys Mutiny Crew there’s this explicit Othering that’s... let’s be real, fully schoolyard Weird-Kid Bullying - you sit on a barrel, you get a nice china plate, you get threatened by Des Voeux because Goodsir won’t cut up the dead guy -

I don’t know. I’m totally aware that this whole thing might sound insane and the problem with Readings of Media is that they're subjective... BUT

The show was careful about how it used the names (& therefore lasting immortal images) of the men on the ship’s roster - they were real people, with loved ones and lives, and they were victims of a disaster. The entire message of the show is that W. H. Auden line: We Must Love Each Other And Die. The only character who did Unforgivably Bad Things was swapped out for an OC out of respect for that, so building some bizarro conspiracy of Personal Evil around a character who seems to just be doing their best, though weirdly - is just plain rude, and insulting to the writing, frankly.

SO, as with every character in this show, it behooves you to give the benefit of the doubt - and the benefit of the doubt leads me to “Hodgson is autistic”

[dmitri-smerdyakov]

The Fantastic Beasts Franchise and JK Rowling

Alright, so...hi everyone.

I don’t know how many people follow this blog anymore because my main blog of operation is now @alwaysahiccupandastrid - I still try to keep this blog relatively active though, just because it was my original blog, I’ve had it since I was 13, and I have so many memories attached to it.

I’m aware that a lot of the people who follow me, especially since late 2016, do so because a) I was a loud and proud Fantastic Beasts fan, b) I wrote some Newtina and Jakweenie fic, and c)...I don’t know. I literally don’t know why people bother following me anywhere because I don’t feel like I have a lot to say. But, anyway, many people probably follow me due to Fantastic Beasts and my posts/fanfics within the fandom.

Those who follow my active blog will already know my feelings and thoughts, but because of the fact many things about this blog - me, the posts for the last four-ish years, the url itself - are Beasts related, I felt it was necessary to come and write an actual post here instead of just reblogging things and calling it a day. I’ve always been very outspoken online, but I’ve been avoiding a certain topic of conversation on this blog for years now, and I’m finally in a place where we can discuss it.

I am, of course, talking about the hot topic that is JK Rowling.

Back in the days between FBAWTFT and FBTCOG, I was a very outspoken defender of JK Rowling and her decision to defend Johnny Depp’s inclusion in the films. Now, this is something I still stand by to this day, and due to the evidence that has since come out, I’m even more steadfast in the opinion that keeping Depp was a great decision. I am fully in support of him and the way he’s currently battling against his abuser. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about right now. As I was saying, back in the day, I was outspoken about the opinion that “we don’t know the full story” etc., and as a result I received very colourful anon messages. Now, to my knowledge, none of these were about JKR being a TERF/transphone, but I think it’s important to mention that at the time I scoffed at the idea she could be one. I openly admit that I didn’t listen to what other people - including actual trans individuals - were saying about JKR and her transphobia because I frankly didn’t want to admit it. I didn’t want to admit that the person who wrote something that saved my life could be so hateful and a bad person - that, and at the time I passed it all off as “wokeness out of control”.

It is now 2020. Up until last Saturday night, I was still in support of JK Rowling - I didn’t agree with some of the stuff she had said, but I was trying to be positive and have hope by telling myself that she didn’t mean to be transphobic, that she just didn’t know what she was doing was wrong, even though the evidence clearly showed otherwise (I.e. her liking transphobic / radfem tweets). I said to my followers on my Beasts page that instead of cancelling people outright, we should be attempting to educate them instead, and if they choose not to learn then fine. And, being 100% obvious, I didn’t want to admit it because I frankly already was feeling annoyed at two different Beasts cast members for different reasons: Ezra Miller (for choking a girl) and Dan Fogler (for his tweet about BLM - admittedly that was probably him being well intentioned but not saying it right). So yeah, I didn’t want to cancel another member of the Beasts “family”.

I had JKR’s tweets on notifications, and for the most part over the last few weeks, it was all about the Ickabog. However, on Saturday night I noticed that she had suddenly tweeted something completely different, and I looked at it. Given that I had adamantly defended her and said “freedom of speech” for so long, it’s telling that my first thought upon seeing her tweet was literally “for fuck sake, Jo, why”.

I won’t post her tweets here but to sum that first tweet up, it was her being annoyed over the term “people who menstruate” being used in an article instead of “woman”, and mockingly saying “there used to be a word for that” before pretending she didn’t know the word. She knew that tweeting it would start arguments and anger, and yet she still made the decision to do so. Her follow up tweets frankly dug the hole deeper; she tried to defend herself by saying, to sum it up, “I have a butch lesbian friend who agrees with me” “I just care about women’s rights!” And “IF trans people were marginalised I’d march with you!” (“If”, of course, being the real kicker here because what do you mean IF. They ARE. Every DAY.)

Since then, JKR has written an essay on her website defending herself and her opinions, and yes, I read it. I read it a few times, in fact. At first, I felt my anger simmer and felt I had been too hasty to make anti JKR jokes, that I was wrong...but then I read it again properly and realised that what she had written was a piece that turned herself into the victim, and that despite putting on the appearance of her saying she supports trans people, including the phrases “I support trans people” and “of course trans women are real women”, she still spewed much transphobic vitriol and hate. She cited no sources for any of her proclamations or statements about statistics, implied that trans men transition to escape their “womanhood”, that trans women are men in dresses, that trans women are dangerous to “real” women (aka cis women) and shouldn’t be allowed into women’s changing rooms or toilets. There was also the autism comment, and the implication of autistic girls somehow not being able to make decisions or whatever.

I’m going to get straight to the point: I don’t support JK Rowling or her radical feminism.

As someone who is a proud feminist (libfem?), I can honestly say that never have I felt threatened or like I was being silenced by the inclusion of trans women in feminist spaces or conversation. Never. In my second year at sixth form, I was in charge of the LGBTQ+ club until a new leader with better leadership skills could step in, and - put simply - that year, the club was made almost entirely of first year transgender students. Even though I had called myself a trans ally for years, I realised there was a lot I didn’t know, and I learnt quite a lot from these students. I continue to still learn today. They were some of the nicest and most intelligent people I got the chance to meet, and I can truly say that at no point was I ever worried to be in a room alone with a trans woman, nor was I concerned about which bathroom they went in - bathrooms are bathrooms. Speaking of bathrooms...when I was at uni during a particularly tense rehearsal a few weeks before our final show last year, a guy in our group made me cry and I ran to the women’s bathroom to escape. Not only did the other girls come to comfort me, but you know what? The guy came in and apologised profusely to me. Did any of us girls give a shit about having a guy in our toilet? Absolutely not. It’s a fucking toilet. And, on that note, I was never worried about a trans woman or even a cis man attacking me in the toilets. You know who DID attack me in the toilets regularly? Other cisgender women.

As a feminist, I fully support trans women and am not threatened by the inclusion of trans women in women’s spaces or in women’s rights discussions. While I agree that cis women and trans women inevitably go through different struggles, at the end of the day, we all identify as women and are women. I think that if your feminism is so threatened by the existence of trans women - TERFs, RadFems, JKR, looking at you - then your feminism is flimsy and not feminism at all.

As a woman, I find it highly offensive that JKR and many RadFems focus so much of womanhood and feminism on an involuntary biological function that, frankly, many of us would rather do without. Yeah, I’m talking about periods - no matter how proud I am to be a woman, I still fucking hate periods and would get rid of mine if I could without erasing my chance of having kids someday. I can hear the RadFems accusing me of “internalised woman hatred” for saying I hate my periods, but you know what, they suck and they hurt and fuck them. The fact that JKR (also the the radfem movement) reduced “women” to just people who menstruate and can have children, and vice versa, is incredibly offensive and misogynistic. For a start, trans men menstruate, intersex people can, non binary can etc. Next, not even ALL cis women have periods - women who are menopausal, young women who haven’t started puberty yet (some do start very late), some women don’t have regular cycles, some women have medical problems that affect their cycle, some women are on birth control that can stop their cycles. So the idea of women being defined as “those who menstruate” is offensive not only to trans/intersex/non binary individuals but also to cis ones too.

As I write this, I’m a 22 year old woman who is still learning and changing every day, and one of the things that I’ve found myself thinking about recently - especially since we’re in lockdown and we have nothing BUT time to think - is about myself and my identity as a woman. What prompted this was when I saw Greta Gerwig’s adaptation of Louisa May Alcott’s beloved book, “Little Women”, which I’ve since read, for my birthday back in January, and I left the cinema feeling exalted and powerful with my own identity as a woman. (I’ll be returning to LW in a bit)

After some thinking, I’ve realised some things. For me, my identity as a woman is not just because once a month my uterus decides to shed; I do not identify as a woman just because I have certain physical features. I am not a particularly feminine person either, and I’m what some may call a “tomboy” (a phrase I actually don’t mind but I know a lot of people do for understandable reasons since it’s a phrase designed to differentiate people who don’t conform to society’s expectations etc) because I prefer video games and more geeky stuff to shopping or dressing up or make up.

For me, there is no one way a person has to be or appear in order to identify as a woman. Women are beautiful, complex human beings; we are not defined by our genitalia, by an involuntary biological process. Women are strong, intelligent, and interesting people - no two are the same. For example, some decide to raise families, some choose to pursue a career, some do both - all of these are valid and none are more “feminist” or “womanly” than the others, because it’s our as women. I guarantee that if you lined up every single woman in the world - cis AND trans - no two would be the exact same.

I mentioned “Little Women” earlier, and as I was pondering over what makes me identify as a “woman”, I thought a lot about a certain quote from the 2019 film that has stayed with me since it was first said in the release of the trailer. It’s spoken by Jo March to her mother, and I’ve started to understand what for me makes me a woman.

For me, being a woman is all of this: having minds, hearts, souls, ambition, talent, and being beautiful each in our own ways. Women are capable of love and empathy, capable of desire, capable of the most complex and human feelings and emotions, and coming out the stronger for it.

Sex is one thing; gender identity is another.

I won’t dissect every single thing JKR wrote in her essay, but I will just say this: her comments regarding autistic girls are extremely tone deaf and she does not speak for those with autism. I’m going to be honest and admit something here I haven’t before: I have not been diagnosed with autism or aspergers but I AM currently on the waiting list to see someone who COULD diagnose me. Apparently I show signs of a potential diagnosis, so...we’ll have to see. But I have friends who are autistic, and they’re disgusted by JKR trying to use them to support her TERF arguments. Autistic and other neurodivergent people are absolutely capable of making decisions and are NOT people who need to be babied or have their hands held, to be told who they are. It’s incredibly ableist of JK Rowling frankly.

I would also like to point out... I’ve seen people saying “but she doesn’t hate autistic people, Newt is autistic!!!” - yes, but JKR didn’t write him as autistic. Eddie Redmayne chose to play Newt as autistic - JK Rowling didn’t do shit.

It’s also time that I acknowledge that both Potter and Beasts inevitably hold JKR’s problematic views, and that by denying her ownership of her work, we’re not holding her accountable for the horrible things she’s done. This includes - but is not limited to -:

Anti-Semitic stereotypes in the goblins

Lycanthropy being used as a metaphor for AIDS - an illness that is heavily associated to the gay community, and also there was the panic of the AIDs crisis in the 90s where much misinformation and homophobia was generated and spread because of it.

Adding further to the lycanthropy point, one of the infected individuals - Greyback - is stated to have a sick preference for infecting children. Not only are werewolves tied to harmful gay/AIDs stereotypes, but also to the disgusting and frankly wrong notion that gay people are pedophiles.

The only Asian character is called Cho Chang. Cho Chang. That’s two steps away from outright just calling her “Ching Chong”. It’s not a name an actual Asian person would have.

The Goldstein sisters are probably distantly related to Anthony Goldstein, who JKR confirmed (on Twitter of course) is Jewish, meaning that Tina and Queenie are most likely Jewish too (and Goldstein is a Jewish surname). However, despite the fact that the first FBaWTFT is set DURING Hanukkah in 1926, there’s zero signs of them celebrating or observing it. Maybe that’s more on set design than anything else, but come on - if I, a fanfic writer, can do some research, JK/the crew of a major movie can too!

Adding on from that, gotta love how one of the JEWISH main characters then decides to join the Wizarding world equivalent of Hitler. I already had problems with Queenie’s characterisation in CoG, but that’s the icing on the cake.

POC/Black characters - in both series but since I’m a Beasts blog... Seraphina Picquery, a Black female president serving a term during a MAJOR wizarding world crisis, is severely reduced to have only 3 lines in CoG. Nagini’s only purpose is to be the only friend of Credence, a white man, before he joins Wizard Hitler and abandons her; she’s also an Asian character who we know one day permanently becomes a SNAKE, and who goes on to actually have a piece of Voldemort’s soul inside of her?? And some do see her as his slave, though you could argue that she’s actually the only being that he holds any love or respect for. Leta Lestrange is a half-black woman who is killed/literally sacrifices herself for TWO WHITE MEN, and who’s death was literally confirmed to have been added in last minute.

Also, the whole Lestrange storyline was fucking nasty: white Lestrange Sr imperius-ed a black woman (Yusuf Kama’s mother), raped her, and she then died in childbirth. I’m sorry, what the fuck??

In Harry Potter, Seamus is a terrible stereotype of an Irish person - he likes to blow things up. Look up the IRA and their bombings. Fucking Irish stereotype. As someone with Irish grandparents and who is proud of their Irish heritage, this really pisses me off.

Let’s not forget the whole Native American cultural appropriation. That truly speaks for itself.

So here is where I speak candidly to everyone who follows me and/or sees this post. While Beasts is no longer my No. 1 fandom these days, it and Potter still hold a huge piece of my heart. I have 5 wizarding world tattoos, so much merchandise, and I can safely say that being a fan of both series has shaped me as a person. Both of those series helped me get through the darkest days of my life, including bullying at school, my Nan passing away, and my mental health struggles.

This is why what’s happened has impacted me so much and broken my heart. For me, it feels like it’s tainted now because of Jo and her views. I know that we should separate the art from the artist, but when her views are so clearly woven into the very fabric of the Wizarding world, it’s a huge problem.

Here’s another part of the dilemma - I do not wish for the Beasts films to be cancelled. I’m well aware that the *cough* people who dislike me will say I’m trying to be negative, trying to boycott the series blah blah blah, but that’s truly the last thing I want. I still love the story, the characters, the soundtrack, and I want to know how it ends, if only for my own piece of mind. It’s also important to add that by boycotting Beasts, it’s also harming the hard working thousands of others who worked on the films: the cast, the crew, the extras, the musicians, etc., not to mention the fans who actually are invested in the series and have taken solace in it. It’s not fair for them to all suffer over the actions of one TERF.

This is one of my biggest worries, however: the Fantastic Beasts films do NOT have a good reputation as it is. The second film was boycotted by some due to Depp, and now there’s talk of people boycotting number 3 because of JK Rowling. Lots of people already talk hatred about it, and this will only fire that hatred up even more.

There’s also talk of Eddie Redmayne potentially being kicked from the franchise due to a “leak” that he doesn’t want to work with JKR anymore, but this could be sensationalist news reporting. But if it came down to it, I can honestly say that I would rather continue to have Eddie play Newt than keep JKR as a writer. Eddie has done more for Newt than even JKR has, and if he goes, then that will be the last straw for me within the fandom. That will be when I take a sharp exit out, sell my FB merch and have my tattoos covered.

To add, the Fantastic Beasts scripts are...not great. Or, at least, what we saw on-screen wasn’t. Maybe that’s David Yates being the literal worst (fuck you, Yates, you suck) and cutting all the parts with strong female characters, but I honestly don’t think that JKR can write screenplays well at all. I think she’s clearly better at writing books, and that’s fine - books obviously allow for more time to explore characters and story/plot arcs etc, and film scripts offer way less of those chances. I don’t think screenplays allow her to write what she needs to in order to tell the story she wants to, hence why CoG was kind of a hot mess. So maybe it’s just that she’s not suited for screenplays and should stick to books.

Honestly, I kind of just wish that WB would hire another person to finish writing the Fantastic Beasts movies - obviously they’d have to keep JKR on board to tell them the actual plot, but get someone who can actually write screenplays and not be problematic to write them.

By now I’ve gone on long enough that I’ve forgotten my original intent while writing this, so I’ll try to sum up and end now. In short, I am extremely disappointed in JK Rowling and do not support her or her views any longer.

I don’t know how any of you guys are feeling but I would be interested to hear other people’s thoughts, especially other Fantastic Beasts fans. I want to also add that, as always, my DMs and inbox are always open - if not here, then always at @alwaysahiccupandastrid where I’m more active nowadays.

Finally, you guys don’t need me - a white cis woman - to tell you this but you’re all valid and magical and fuck JK Rowling. Her characters would all be ashamed of her, and the characters we grew up with would not stand for the bigotry and vile hatred she spreads under the guise of ““protecting women””. Several of the amazing actors from Potter and Beasts have spoken out against her and her tweets: Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Bonnie Wright, Katie Leung, Chris Rankin, Eddie Redmayne. Some have been...less inspiring (Tom Felton, Evanna Lynch, looking at you two 👀)

I’m sending love to everyone right now. I wish I could say something more useful but I’ve spoken enough - I’ve made my opinion clear. I love you all, please stay safe.

[bookishbea]

Black Friday Reaction

Okay so I’ll be live tweeting Black Friday but none of it will have any sense to it but it’ll just be my reactions

1. The Paul thing is really bothering me

2. I really love the mention of the other characters

3. If Jane is mention is the story about the mom mentioned some more

4. Is the delivery man ted (cause he’s also a sleazeball

5. It’s weird seeing Cory not play a pure bean

6. I love California MIA

7. The little sister (Im sorry I’m bad at names) I self project as autistic and she something else idk

8. Did anyone else noticed Robert’s Australian accent come out?

9. Like I said this is out of order so yeah but I personally think the second song in the show was very shocking as I’m not used to very serious starkid songs

10. When Robert gestures smoking i think its lowkey a refrence to the smoke club

11. I have a crush on lex

12. I love Lauren’s charecter so much

13. I love the name linda becuase it could be like a karen without using that name

14. Not to get poltical but i choose to belive they made an antivax joke

15. Also the marvel nerd in me loves the name becky barnes

16. I know its probaly not on purpose but joeys charecters costume in line looks like the homeless guy’s one

17. Jaimey is great as always

18. The conversation is so cringe i love it

19. I kinda hope torture porn is a fanfic refrence (i know most people would want me to say spies are forever but nope)

20. I love Lauren but shouldnt her accent be included when she sings

21. I love Jeff’s reaction

22. I may get some hate for this but what was bothering me in tgwdlm and i notice in starkid is lack of fan comments in the captions

23. As a theatre fan i love the toy zone song (i am not sure if thats the right name) espcially the do wop becuase it reminds me of older musicals

24. Also since i watched tgwdlm and black friday a day apart its weird to come from songs happening because they are infected to songs happening cause its a musical

25. i love the love the line we are not relaibly to anyone who dies becuase they clearly show in the trailer that someone will die (this is not a spoiler if you watch the trailer for Black Friday)

26. I love Corey but when he dances i notice a bulge (i am not a perv he makes it very obvious)

27. So i rewinded it to make sure i wanst going crazy and realized something as lex says the pepper spray line. She would be good as janis ian

28. I love the touch money part its so cute even if its not supposed to be

29. Jaime plays a perv really well

30. I love Jon’s charecter its hilarious

31. Also i love jon and lauren interactions so it was cool seeing them together not as paul and emma

32. I love seeing more of Jon because although hes reaally good at playing paul paul doesnt have any flavor and its cool seeing jon do something diffrent

33. Jeff’s fuck you

34. Okay I was right it was the homeless guy and i bet the money is paul’s money

35. And this is not a sterotpye as i am jewish myself but i bet Laurens charecter is jewish

36. Its sad that the price thing is true

37. So i am a theatre fan and do not watch got but that music kinda reminds me of got

38. Cant tell if jeff’s charecter is gay and a perv or just a perv (i realzie this could be mmisinterpreted as homophobic i just mean to say that jamie’s charecter just seems like a full out perv where as i cant tell with jeff’s)

39. Obviously you shouldnt be that insane but i do like the lines about how you are in charge of life and dont care about what others think. its goood life advice

39. Looks like Paul’s boss got his wish

40. They are all idiots for holding up the doll when everyone wants to get it

41. Corey’s charecter is like shit, money isnt that imporant

42. Becky why are you a part of this you have moral high ground (yes i am ignorning the fact that cast usually join in dance numbers even if their charecter isnt a part of it)

43. Shouldnt tom get ptsd (see above)

44. Lex you already have one (see above)

45. So i may be overthinking things but how curt says never should settle is in the tune of spies are forever

46. Is it just me or did anyone else notice when the security guard comes in the tune of show me your hands comes in

47. I dont know why but i do love soft bullies because hes like hey im punching you but only for the kid

48. Some may say its schizo or something hannah has but its anxiery or something from how shes expressing it

49. I feel like hannah has a superpower and can tell whats happening

50. Maybe webby is actually wiggly

51. Baby (both hannah and robert)

52. Please tell me my babies not dead

53. Jon’s eee is adorable and silly

54. Wait hes alive

55. Wait no hes dead, im sad liek starkid is supposed to be fun and happy this is the darkest star kid yet. Even oregon deaths were silly

56. I love starkid but this is making me anxious i cant tell if its good anxious or bad anxious

57. Also i relate to the black and white thing not fully but liek whenever i dont feel well sometimes my brain is overstimulating but only in my head its very hard to explain 

58. Also i think sometimes kids on the spectrum and im not an expert but i do have it kind of make a friend in their head and i do that too sometimes just to give me advice

59. Also i hope they dont get rid of the black and white as sometimes people go more crazy without the figurative voice in their head

60. Like i said this is going to be random order so i like that emma adopted paul;s Okay and no im not making a tfios refrence

61. Poor Tim

62. Poor becky but even less

63. i thought they were supposed to be mad at g-d but in this and tgwdlm they like g-d

64. I cant tell the other pins on joey’s jacket but the first two i notice are mr wiggly and paul

65. I love Lauren’s acting you can see the very sublte sadness in her

66. Lauren and Joey together ahhhh

67. I know its probaly not a big deal but they should give a seziure warning before the tv scene

68. Did they reuse curts spies are forever outfit

69. Really starkid the obama refrence seriously, i cant tell if im mad or laughing 

70. How did Bob get one

71. I do realize they are talking irl but i cant help but wonder if the nazis were a spies are forever refrence

72. Does wiggly have a special power or something 

73. I think its similar to the metero the closer you are the more power it has over you

74. The starkid special effects we all know and love

75. Also is that mcnamara

76. Also maybe shooting it (the doll) does the same thing that shooting the affceted does. Give them no power

77. I cant tell what the music reminds me of exactly but the tune does kinda refrence a diffrent star kid song

78. Jeff looks so proud of himself for the peeps line

79. I love the purposeful i presume reuse of lines

80. Is peip like men in black

81. Also hatchetfield kind of reminds me of night vale

82. Is the black and white like the upside down?

83. I wonder if the point was purposeful since someone was filming or just choreographed

84. Yes Jon Singing!!!!!

85. I love the act two opener

86. Did his parents really name him christmas?!?

87. Oh hes literally related to santa

88. I love lauren and joey as eleves

89. Noel another christmas name

90. Isnt the little dance move like a genie move or something

91. Its so cute that she insitincitvely went to their seats

92. Also carving is goals

93. Even though its a penis its still goals

94. I know what you are, say it, santa clause

95. Tom dont yell at your girl

96. Poor Tom

97. But also dont make this about you

98. They probaly werent the head of the school since they were nice, i am sorry but thats true

99. Yass girl fight his ass

100. Also the theatre kid in me is picturing all that jazz

101. he ran into my knife he ran into my knife ten times

102. Yes Becky’s husband (i forget the name sue me) is bad but i feel like becky is more sinister then we realize

103. Becky’s line even if it isnt meant to be is so funny

104. The girl who plays Becky could play Barbara

105. I love how Joey and Lauren look into the camera

106. Jamie saying santa awww such a pure bean

107. The person in the wiggly onsie is goals

108. Matrix glasses for the win

109. Is wilbur a refrence to Charelots Web?

110. Its a cult a cult of wiggly

111. I feel like Sherman young is around 30-40

112. I love how its mommy to sound less pervy

113. Oh wait never mind Linda is mom

114. Shit thats fucked up they killed him

115. I am right a jew no non jew says mensch

116. To quote jared klienman kinky (shoe kiss scene)

117. Also i love this song the adore song

118. Why does them picking up Lauren give me Draco vibes

119. Wait he isnt dead?? im so confused

120. Wait he is dead???

121. Also ethan is creepy now

122. But Roberts expressions are goals

123. Robert your proffesor hidgens is showing

124. What the how does he know her name

125. Savage Wiggly

126. Wiggly is more funny than scary

127. But my poor baby dont be scared

128. What the fuck tom

129. Also poor baby number two

130. At first you think becky is made about him hurting a child but no its about the doll

131. What the fuck Becky

132. Also I wonder if thats the same serum that Hidgens used

133. Tom yelling at the audince is hilarious

134. Also Becky singing is giving me little shop vibes

135. Becky are you drunk or something you so stupid

136. But yayy my baby doesnt get hurt

137. More starkid special effects

138. Also the lighting nod to tgwdlm

139. Also why did they take my baby (see i told you random)

140. So the perv is wiggly

141. Also if he can appear in regular formation on earth why does he need to be the doll

142. Oh wait never mind he explains it

143. Joey talking to the audience and making them hold the apple is goals

144. I love Joey’s song

145. MIA = Missing in Action = Made in America

146. Wait im wrong Joey cant be Wiggly unless he has super powers he cant be in two places at once

147. I know they dont mean sex but still wtf

148. Lauren looks so done i cant

149. Seziure warning after mr presidnet leaves the black and white

150. Unless it was purposeful they should have hidden the dolls better backstage

151. Wait didnt hannah say something about two doors earlier?

152. Seriously Sherman ponies

153. I love the going back line

154. My poor baby lex

155. No Lex dont die not you too

156. Haha throwback to tgwdlm

157. Yes baby you got the gun

158. Also die perv die

159. Eagle screeching is goals

160. Yes lex use that logic

161. Also it makes sense only the adults can be brainwashed

162. There were only adults no children, scary (not sarcastic i promise)

163. Seriously starkid Fortnight

164. Thats why you should never fully grow up

165. Woah what Lex says is deep

166. Yessss Tom

167. Wait Tom dont hold the gun

168. Wait is Charolette alive or just a reuse of costume, if so why would they have jaimie wear it

169. No dont take her magic hat

170. Haha stupid hats cant be magic only dolls obviously

171. Does lauren say something like fucking knife in another show too?

172. Lauren screaming gives me my father will hear about this vibes

173. Also give my baby her hat back

174. Yass Lauren get it girl (i do realize shes playing the villian but still)

175. Yass Robert get it

176. Even though shes a viilain i dont like seeing Lauren get killed

177. But also how did they get the bullet wound on her so quick im impressed

178. Haha the way Gary stops everything to talk to gerald is goals

179. Like hes like oh shit money

180. And then hes like oh wait i have to pretend to care

181. I love how exagerated their dying is

182. Thats an impressive quick change

183. Yess Emma Hidgens

184. But also no hell fuck up again

185. Also Paul interupting is goals

186. Haha hannah you go girl

187. First off I love the song

188. Song off Hannah’s voice

189. Is paul scared normal or because of the hive

190. Wait all the tgwdlm charecters are back like nothing happened im confused

191. Haha the Hatchfield band is back