#tbf I don’t hate drag me down

[faithinlouisfuture]

he should forget about the covers and put Fearless back on the setlist in my (un)biased opinion

[tkblythofficial]

Okay I’m curious, if R and J ever break up, why do you think they would, and how do you think they would do telling everyone about it in the media, and if R ever goes with T, shortly after her leaving J, how do you think that would all play out?

“If R and J ever break up, why do you think they would?”

My personal theory is out growing each other. R is 22 going 23 (they’ve been dating since she was 20*) and early 20s/mid20s is a very interesting time to have a long term bf. A lot changes as people mature and get older. J is almost 30 and should know what he wants in life while R is in a period of “wtf do I want out of life?” like most people in their 20s. So I can naturally see things ending, especially if J breaks up with her. At this moment tbh I don’t see her ending things with him. He has her wrapped around his finger unfortunately. But she’s known him almost 6 years and hasn’t experienced dating outside of him as an adult. Very predictable and normal tbf. The next 2 years will be interesting since most relationships get serious in the 3-4 year mark. They either move to the next level like getting engaged, the relationship grows stagnant (like T’s relationship if I had to guess…) or they break up.

“How do you think they will tell everyone about in the media?”

In this social media age, everything is up in the air lol.

If things end amicably or mutually:

A joint statement on ig or a publicist confirms the break up through a media outlet. FilmUpdates, Pop Craze, etc etc accounts like that will report on it.

If things end bad:

A publicist will confirm through the media outlet. The most obvious clues would be unfollowing each other on ig or if there’s some type of cheating scandal then we would know immediately. R is active online so if she starts liking break up posts or similar things, people will speculate. And since this social media age is weird, sometimes broken up couples don’t unfollow each other to avoid public speculation for a while so we may not know until months after they’ve break up and people figure it out naturally.

“If R goes with T shortly after leaving J, how would that play out ?”

I honestly don’t see that happening and it would be a very unwise move imo. T is very private and I don’t think he would seriously want that drama or his life dragged online like that. It would be a PR nightmare for R who’s already hated. People will accuse her of being a cheater (even if years past since filming TBOSAS, people will dig up old zeglyth videos and try to find clues etc that point to her being unfaithful or a bad person).

If R and T want to date right after their respective breakups, they have to be careful and private about it.

Realistically and the smartest thing to do would be to copy what tomdaya did. Everyone knew tomdaya was dating before they went public and they didn’t confirm it officially into those car kissing photos leaked online. Twitter almost exploded. Remaining “private” for the general public but having fans (like us) know what’s REALLY going on would be great. If R and T are constantly around each other, always spotted together and we get information from inside sources that would be enough of me. For example, a friend of a friend of mine saw tomdaya at a restaurant together in 2018*? all cozied up and what not and I never said anything because there was already a ton of evidence on them dating despite being “private” lol. If we ever get to that point, I’ll jump on the moon in joy.

Now if they did publicly date right after R and J ended, it would be a shitstorm. The amount of hate towards R would be so painful, the jealousy from his fan girls because she’s dating T would be nasty etc etc. It would be awful to witness as a fan of hers. I would elated by them (many of us would be!!!!) dating of course but it will be a hateful few months of dealing with the backlash. But after the drama cools down, I think they would slowly gain the public’s favor. They already have it by majority of fans (The HG fandom would explode in a great way) and general public would move on and accept it. It would be a trying time in their relationship for sure but something tells me T would handle it well. If he ever goes extremely public about any relationship, I know that means he’s very serious about that person. And if that person happens to be R…then ;)

[mariatesstruther]

Tbf as much as I don’t trust TV writers, I have no doubt Maria will be fine. Part of Tommy’s storyline is that he actively chooses to leave her when he goes on his revenge quest and when he returns a broken man, the one thing he has left is his marriage, and he ruins that too and without that, and that pain will only be doubled with a 4 year old kid as well.

It also makes the contrast to Ellie leaving Dina and JJ more poignant, and maybe even backs up Tommy’s decision to go to the farm more as in ‘I left my wife and kid for you, you can leave yours for me’.

So even though it would set Tommy down a darker path, I actually think it’s pivotal Maria is alive for the revenge quest because of that choice to leave, which is easier if she’s not there and I think a lot of Part 2 is about choices and if the costs are worth it and if his family are dead, Tommy doesn’t really have any ‘costs’ left but if they are, his choices can actively haunt him since they’re alive but he’s still lost them

these are very awesome and legit points!!!! i think its been a while since i last watched a tlou2 playthrough as well so thank you for the reminder of how his game/season 2 story kinda reflects ellie’s in those ways

i think part of the reason im just major major offput about them adding a pregnancy for maria in s2 in it just makes things so much more sad and stressful for maria????? like her whole life has just been loving people and then getting left behind. imagine finding a husband you love and having a child with him and then losing them BOTH to a goddamn zombie apocalypse. id already be devastated. joel lost his child and it completely ruined him; maria lost a child and their father, who as far as we know she had a happy life with. fucking brutal

but THEN she picks herself up, dusts herself off, and finds the strength to keep going. builds a place that she would’ve been maybe happy with raising kevin in, if she could, and she opens her heart up to tommy. she falls in love, and theyre happy, and now shes pregnant. shes having another baby that she gets to raise and lose with a husband she adores

THEN HIS BROTHER GETS MURDERED AND NOW HES JUST GONNA LEAVE HER THERE????? WITH A WHOLE ASS TINY CHILD??????? for REVENGE??????

like im sorry, i love me some good ol revenge as much as the next guy—i really do. the glory was my favorite show, and the first time i watched a tlou 2 full play through i was rooting for tommy and ellie to honestly take out EVERYBODY in joel’s name—and i also know firsthand what kind of distorted thinking tommy’s level of grief can cause. but i just HATE the idea that tommy would leave a CHILD to go after anyone, even the people that killed his brother. and i think if joel saw him do so, he literally would smack him upside the head and drag him back to jackson

it also just doesnt fit what i imagine tommy would do in the instance that he has a kid???? like this is the same tommy that watched joel devote his whole entire life to his own daughter from jump, who wouldve done anything he could to protect his first daughter and DID do everything he could to protect his second. tommy knows from joel that when you’re a father, you’re kid comes fucking first. fuck everything else

so i just can’t imagine tommy leaving both maria AND his child???? like tbh i could understand him leaving maria in the game, as much as i didn’t like it—but his own baby???? he knows joel wouldnt ever want him to do that, no matter what happens to him. to me it just wouldn’t make sense for tommy’s grief over joel to take him so far that he makes a choice he knows joel would hate

(and i know ellie made the choice to leave jesse and dina, but i think a big reason she did that was bc she had the additional guilt of having jesse on her conscience and knowing that tommy wouldn’t physically be able to do it after being shot. tommy’s circumstances for leaving his kid would be different)

so like for those reasons on tommy’s side, it doesn’t make much sense to me that he would go after joel unless his own child was out of the picture, and i don’t see his child being out of the picture unless maria i also out of the picture

NOT SAYING ID RATHER MARIA BE DEAD THAN PREGNANT BTW I WANT HER TO BE ALIVE AND HAPPY AND SAFE. i am just so confused about the hbo writer’s intentions with making her pregnant like!!!!!! feels very sus to me!!!!!!

especially bc of the track record for the way nonwhite tlou characters are brutalized in the game/show too. like @clickergossip ur tags on the reblog were so so so so so so so SO right on point. them making maria a PREGNANT black woman just makes me so nervous that something terrible will happen, esp considering what we’ve seen happen to the other Black characters in the game/show

and i totally understand brutality and gore and death is all part of tlou anyway, but i feel like with joel and ellie, the violence is almost always balanced out witth a degree of love/humor/lightheartedness. unfortunately rutina wesley’s maria hasn’t had much opportunity at all to partake in those lighter moments, which makes me think either the writers have a LOT of good stuff coming up for her or that they think she’s expendable. idk idk idk idk this does even have a point, im just rambling and thinking about it a lot aand very on edge as a maria-truther 😭😭😭 as much as i want to have confidence, i have many many doubts she will be fine

[kurokoros]

not disagreeing with ur recent post but I also think not everything the writers want to make deep and purposeful like I think having Eddie and robins little bits are funny, and when some characters like Eddie are new it adds like a min of screen time and to his character. Sometimes u just want little funny bits, that more fans are gonna be happy about seeing and editing and stuff vs show don’t tell. Ofc this doesn’t need to be the case nearly all the time fs, but I think little bits in between like that can be better than 100% commitment to a certain type of craftsmanship sometimes. Also like Eddie’s funny being scared but going anyway fits with what I said earlier but also tbf adds to his character trait of deciding not to run away more and more. Anyway that’s literally just my own take and again I’m not disagreeing or starting anything lmao I just think it is fun and interesting to talk abt these little bits when it comes to filmmaking!! :)

I'm fully able to admit that I'm definitely biased because I give less of a shit about Eddie every time I watch S4, but either way I do think the Duffers need to relearn the art of cutting scenes. S4 does have a writing problem. The main point of that post was that there needs to be a purpose to every scene. In fact, there needs to be two purposes to each scene. The first is to advance the plot in a meaningful way. The second is to tell us something about the characters. Personally, I don't think the boat scenes between Steve being dragged under and Eddie jumping in advance the plot in a meaningful way, and I don't think it tells us anything about the characters.

Good examples of scenes being funny and also advancing the plot are anytime the kids argue in S1 and S2, or in S2 when Steve is arguing with the party about going to the tunnels. It advances the plot because the group does end up going to the tunnels (which needed setup) and it's also a good character moment because it's a haggard Steve being stuck with a bunch of kids that aren't listening to him, but dammit if he's not going to keep their dumb asses alive to the best of his ability.

I also just hate most of the comedy in S4 because I don't actually find it funny, or I don't find the humor appropriate for the scene. To me, it feels like the characters are trying to be funny, instead of naturally funny, if that makes sense.

Regardless, they need to cut down scenes. My undergrad creative writing prof would have been telling me to cut sooooo much if I submitted any episode of ST4 for an assignment. This is coming from a technical standpoint. There's a reason most episodes of shows cap at under or around an hour. Anything longer and it's probably because you haven't done necessary revising and editing to cut out information that doesn't need to be there for one reason or another.

[collecting-stories]

Protection - Topper Thornton

Request: Hello, I’m not sure if you still do these but could I please request 13, 10, 11, 53, and 73, from the monster promp list, (sorry if it’s too many, you can scrap some if you want) for Topper x y/n please? If possible could have a heaping helping of angst with a smidge of fluff at the end? You’re honestly one of the best Topper writers, and obx in general tbf! He deserves more attention 😂

A/N: Brief mentions of abuse. Rafe is an ass in this. 

Outer Banks Masterlist

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

There were some things that were sacred. Like friendship. Rafe and Topper had been friends long before Topper dated Sarah and they had the potential to be friends long after too. At least until you were thrown into the mix. Friends with both of them, it was after you started dating Rafe that you slowly became less Topper’s friend and more Rafe’s girlfriend. When he started doing coke, frequently and in large quantities, things changed again.  

And maybe they had been bad for a while but Topper and Rafe were friends. Best friends. And you hadn’t meant to come between them.  

“Why are lying?” Rafe’s fist slammed against the bureau as you stood in his room with him, trying to inch closer to the door without him noticing. You’d only come over because you had forgotten your phone. You had hoped to get in and out without seeing him but Wheezie had texted Rafe that you were over and now here he was, still closer to the door than you were.

“I’m not lying to you, I was with Scarlett.” You insisted, knowing it was a lie. You couldn’t feel bad though, and you could never tell him who you were with.  

“Bullshit! I know you were with Topper!” He shouted and you backed away, stepping further into his room. All that progress lost as he walked toward you. “Is that what is? Are you fucking him?”

“What the hell is wrong with you Rafe? God, you’re so fucking paranoid-”

You were cut off as Rafe grabbed your jaw, squeezing so tight his fingers dug into your cheeks. “Don’t lie to me you fucking bitch. I know you’ve been screwing Topper behind my back.” He hissed. He walked you back towards his bed, pushing you down on the mattress. When he let you go to get off his belt you kicked him, rolling off the bed and running for the door.  

Rafe’s hand slammed against the door, closing it before you even had a chance to open it all the way, hitting you and knocking you into the bureau. You struggled with him, biting his hand when he grabbed your mouth, and kicking him again before you could finally open the door and get out, running down the stairs, phone on the floor of his bedroom.  

You ran out the front door of Tanney Hill and kept going until you reached Kelce’s house, leaving behind your car too. You knew Topper would be at Kelce’s and, while the last thing you wanted was to drag him into a fight with Rafe, you were terrified. It was the first time he’d been angry enough to assault you physically and you could feel yourself trembling as you knocked on the door.

“Oh my god!” Kelce opened the door, pulling you inside and wrapping his arm around you, “are you okay?”

“Is Topper here?” You asked, dissolving into tears as you tried to calm your beating heart. Everything had happened so fast.

“Top! Get out here!” He called, rubbing circles into your back.  

When Topper appeared at the end of the hallway you felt a fresh wave of tears. God, for him to see you like this. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He asked as he approached you, Kelce letting him take you from his arms. You wrapped your arms around Topper’s waist, pressing your face into his chest so he couldn’t see you. He shushed you, kissing your head, “please talk to me sweetheart, what happened?”

Topper had happened weeks ago. After Rafe had ditched the two of you at the Island Club to meet up with Barry. You had spent the rest of the day with your best friend, lamenting more than once how much you missed just hanging out with him the way you used to. Before you and Rafe started dating and Rafe thought every guy who looked at you was a threat, his friends included. And when Topper drove you home that night and kissed you in the driveway you realized why Rafe was so paranoid.

“I’m sorry, I just...” Topper had sighed, eyes meeting yours in the dim overhead light of his Jeep, “I fucking hate seeing you with him. He doesn’t treat you right.”

You didn’t know what to say. You couldn’t really deny his claims, he was probably right. Rafe didn’t treat you right. He treated you like an object. You didn’t know what to say so you said nothing, leaning back across the middle console and kissing him. It was the first of hundreds, all stolen when you were alone. Out on shopping dates with Scarlett. Stuck at home with homework. Everytime Topper was sleeping over Kelce’s. You wanted every time to break it off with Rafe. To call him and tell him that it was over, that you loved Topper, but you never did. You were always too afraid. Of Rafe, of hurting someone, of hurting yourself.

“Babe, please, you’ve got to talk to me?” Topper said, finally catching your gaze. His breath caught at the sight of your bruised skin, “Who gave you that black eye?”

“Topper.” You stressed his name. He knew what it was, you pleading with him. A silent plea, don’t make me tell you.  

“What’s going on?” Kelce asked, looking between the two of you. He knew snippets, he knew you were cheating on Rafe with Topper. He’d been keeping the secret too.  

“Rafe.”  

“Rafe did this?” Kelce touched your arm cautiously, catching your attention, “Rafe did this?”

You nodded, the lump in your throat threatening to close off your airway. Topper rubbed his hands along your arms, separating the two of you. He grabbed his keys off the hall table and you panicked, “no Top-”

“No. He’s not fucking getting away with it this time.” Topper replied. “I told you, if he laid a hand on you it was over. Look at you.”  

“Come on. I’ll stay with you.” Kelce promised.

“No, I wanna go. I don’t want him to hurt you.” You insisted, grabbing Topper’s arm.  

-

Rafe was exactly where you’d left him, in his room. He was sprawled on the bed now, smoking. Clouds of smoke rose from his lips and crashed into the ceiling. When his door opened and Topper came in he only laughed, sitting up.

“Yo man, I’m not into threesomes, you can take your whore home.” He laughed.  

When Topper grabbed his shirt, pulling him forward off the bed, Rafe hit his knees, a little too disoriented to stand up. Topper didn’t seem bothered by the unequal playing field, kicking Rafe in the stomach as Kelce stood in the door with you. “If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have me to deal with.” Topper threatened.

“You got it all wrong Top, I don’t want anything to do with that slu-”  

Topper hit him again before he could finish his sentence.  

“What the fuck!”

“Stay away from her!” Topper threatened.  

“Top,” you called his name and he glanced back at you, “let's just go. He’s not worth it. Please.”

Kelce grabbed your phone as Topper followed you out of Rafe’s room, leaving behind his once best friend.  

-

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[justletmeplayminecraft]

Maybe prompt 15 for an iskall and mumbo pacific moment? Tbf it fits them

15. “Let me explain. I was bored and you left me alone.”

okay, i had fun doing this one! some fun fluff between the lads. warnings for overworking, although light-hearted! dragging mumbo to bed seems to be a trend in my fics.

prompt list is here!

"Mumbo?" Iskall calls, searching through the building. He's been away from the server for a bit (a whole situation with a decaying world, it's best not to get into it), and now his partner is missing. With no response to Iskall's messages. It's not Iskall's fault he missed Mumbo's meeting requests! But now, when Iskall is finally here to meet up, Mumbo's the one who's missing. Of course. Just his luck.

He lands back on the ground floor, taking note of the half built redstone structures in the entrance. With a frown, he circles them, deciding to follow the wiring down to the basement. He's pretty sure these weren't here before. Although he doesn't want to spoil the surprise, finding Mumbo takes priority. He's careful not to disrupt any redstone, trying to remember how to walk without constant enchantments. Ducking into the darkened room, he looks over the unfinished wiring.

Ah.

Iskall sighs, shaking his head with a fond smile. Tucked into the corner of the redstone, folded into a one block gap, is Mumbo. One leg is tucked awkwardly beneath him, whilst another is hooked on the block above. A similar situation appears to have happened with his arms. One of the long limbs is sprawled across the block behind him. And yet, somehow, Mumbo is sound asleep. His black hair brushes the redstone wiring where his head has rolled onto the block.

Iskall comes to a stop in front of Mumbo's crumpled form.

"Mumbo." He reaches out, shaking Mumbo's shoulder. The half-awake mumble he gets in response forces him to stifle a laugh. "Come on, dude, wakey wakey time."

"Mmh." Mumbo blinks. He manages to move one hand to rub at his face. "I'm awake, gimme a-" Dark eyes meet Iskall's, widening considerably. "Oh dear."

"Oh dear indeed," Iskall mimics, standing up straight with a snicker. Mumbo attempts to drag his limbs free before falling limp, and slightly out of breath. Iskall's laugh is a bit fuller this time. "So, how did this one happen, then?"

"I, uh, you see-" Mumbo laughs, running his hand through dark hair as redstone dust sprinkles onto his shoulders. "-It turned out this redstone was a bit harder than I thought it would be. And, well- I tripped." Iskall has a suspicion.

"Mumbo, what day is it?" He asks, resting his hands on his hips. Mumbo tries to move his arm, but Iskall clicks his tongue before he can. "Nope! Without looking!" Mumbo's arm drops like a stone.

"Uh." The fact his face scrunches up that much is a good enough tell, but Iskall's polite enough to let him finish. "Monday? No, no, Tuesday."

"Well, it's Friday. Neither guess was right." Mumbo groans, falling back into his redstone. He's not attempted to move his legs from their awkward position a second time. Iskall would bet good money that Mumbo can't feel them anymore.

"Let me explain," Mumbo holds his hand up. "I was bored, and you left me alone." Iskall blinks, taking a deep breath in.

"That's not an explanation." Iskall replies.

"That is a perfectly valid explanation, thank you!" Iskall laughs, pressing his palms onto his face. The contrast between his heated cheek and his cool metal eye is obvious.

"Why didn't you call anyone for help!"

"I am a fully grown man, Iskall, and I am trapped in my redstone like a child. It's embarrassing."

Iskall shakes his head, having to take in a deep breath, "For goodness sake, Mumbo. And you planned to get out how?"

"Well, I thought if I wiggled enough I'd get free but-"

"You fell asleep."

"I- I, yeah. I fell asleep." When Iskall's laughter only gets louder, Mumbo groans. "At this point, it would be preferable if you just killed me, if I'm honest!"

Iskall shakes his head, crouching down to Mumbo's level and tapping his nose, "I don't know, dude, maybe I should leave you there until you learn your lesson." Mumbo scrunches his face up.

"Iskall! You- you wouldn't actually do that, right? We're partners! You can't leave me like this!"

"No- I-" He breaks off to laugh again. "Unfortunately, I care too much about you to leave you here." Iskall attempts to reach around Mumbo's waist and pull. All he succeeds in doing is getting a squeaky cry from the redstoner. "Are you- how do you manage these things, Mumbo?"

Mumbo lets out a self-deprecating sigh, "I honestly wish I could tell you."

It takes some careful manoeuvring on Iskall's part, bending Mumbo's stiff limbs and ignoring his whining, to roll Mumbo out of his redstone prison. Mumbo lets out a quiet 'oof' as he lands on his side. He's barely pushed himself up when Iskall scoops him onto solid shoulders.

"Hey- Iskall!" Iskall ignores Mumbo's squeaky cry, adjusting him into a fireman's carry and holding the squirmy spoon tight. "You- let me down! This is ridiculous!"

"Nope." Iskall grins, patting Mumbo's thigh. He starts work on a safe way to carry him out of the basement. "You are going to bed, Mr. It's Tuesday."

"You cannot be serious- Iskall, I'm not two, I can decide my own bedtime!" Iskall squeezes Mumbo's hand where he's holding it to keep him steady.

"Clearly not if you're napping in your redstone," Iskall reminds him, before following up with the real threat, "Of course, I could always tell Xisuma."

"You wouldn't-" At Iskall's silence, Mumbo sighs. His head flops down. "You would. I hate you."

"It's for your own good. You're a safety hazard." Mumbo doesn't even try arguing with Iskall on that one. Instead, he shimmies until he's more comfortable on Iskall's shoulders, making a soft noise. Iskall lets him rest.

-

They're halfway through the nether when Mumbo speaks again.

"Hey, Iskall?" He calls, sleepiness creeping into his voice.

"Yeah?" Iskall tries to glance over his shoulder, but quickly remembers to focus on where he's going. Distraction in the nether all too often equals death, and he's carrying precious cargo.

"You're a good friend, dude." Iskall's glad Mumbo can't see the sappy look that forces its way onto his face.

"Yeah. You too, Mumbo." He bounces him softly. "Some might say a great friend, in fact." He gets no response. A few minutes later, he hears a sleepy snuffle, and smiles.

[rovinky]

thank you @sleepy-skittles i definitely needed this after yesterday's awfulness

I wasn't sure what to write for this at first but I think I finally figured it out - this is longer than I thought it would be oops, maybe I should put it on ao3 idk

Rovinsky + “this isn’t our actual first kiss but it is our first important kiss”

The first time he ever kissed Kavinsky it had been after a race.

Gansey hadn't wanted him to go but he'd been feeling an itch burn beneath his skin. He'd needed to crawl out of Monmouth and away from morality for the nighty came for him a second time, Ronan shoved him again, and again, and again, until his fingers curled in Kavinsky's tanktop and he dragged him in for a kiss. The taste of cigarette smoke and bitter alcohol swathed over his tongue and the smell still makes him a bit woozy even now.

After the first kiss, they'd parted and didn't speak of it again.

The second time he kissed Kavinsky had been during a substance party.

Gansey hadn't wanted him to go but he'd been feeling an itch burn beneath his skin. He'd needed to crawl out of Monmouth and away from morality for the night. He'd arrived at Kavinsky's party where he'd been asked to produce a substance.

"Here's your fucking substance, asshole," Ronan growled before laying a wet kiss on Kavinsky's mouth before he could protest.

He can still remember how the boys' jeered all around them. How Kavinsky's body stiffened and then relaxed in his arms. His own flushed reflection staring back at him in Kavinsky's mirrored shades when they parted.

For a second time, they parted and didn't bring it up again.

The third time he kissed Kavinsky had been in a dream.

They met in his dream space, standing together in the woods. Kavinsky had grinned at him, wild and boyish. His shades were gone and for once, Ronan couldn't tell if Kavinsky was inebriated. All he knew was he'd laughed and said, his voice teetering into derisive, "You want to kiss me so bad."

The worst part was Kavinsky was right. He rolled his eyes and pulled him in for a kiss, wrapping his arms around Kavinsky's slim waist. He felt Kavinsky press something into his hand and when Ronan woke and could move again, he'd shifted his gaze to his palm to see what it held.

A small little orb hovered over his palm. Inside, Ronan could see galaxies swirl. Their own little secret.

The fourth time he kissed Kavinsky had been much later. After high school, after Adam graduated from Harvard, and when they both moved to Boston to chase Adam's career. He hadn't expected to see Kavinsky ever again after a falling out their senior year of high school. He never expected Joseph Kavinsky to become a part of his life again.

Boston wasn't exactly where he thought he would be calling home either but Adam had found a job in the city and Declan had moved in with his artist girlfriend Jordan in the same area. Despite his claims of hating Declan, Ronan could never quite shake his need to be around family.

So, Ronan made a life here.

At times, he would travel around to the country to escape the city's oppressive atmosphere, working on farms and volunteering his time at animal sanctuaries. He made friends with a girl named Hennessy on accident while Adam was at work. They hit it off when she hopped into his car and told him to drive, drive, drive.

Afterward, they ended up in the apartment he shared with Adam and she laughed hysterically when she found out his name. "Ronan Lynch?" she'd cackled. "Your Declan's brother."

They'd bonded even further when they both found out they were dreamers.

A night of dreaming left them both buzzing and wanting, feeling drunk without having to drink, they winded up in a tattoo shop. Proclaiming they would get matching tattoos, even if Ronan had no intention of letting anything on his body match someone else. Hennessy was taken off to one room and Ronan to another where he'd come face to face with a boy - now a man - he hadn't seen in six years.

Joseph Kavinsky gave him his second tattoo.

Joseph Kavinsky also gave him his third tattoo and fourth tattoo. Ronan kept returning for more ink and Kavinsky's talented hands.

"You want to kiss him again, don't you?" Adam had asked one night after Ronan spent hours talking about Kavinsky's shop.

Maybe he did but he quickly denied it. Adam only smiled at him; the kind of smile which left him feeling stripped despite being fully dressed.

"It's okay if you do," Adam whispered. "I'm secure in us."

Ronan returned for a sixth tattoo and they were at the shop until past closing. Kavinsky locked up once they were done and Ronan stole the fourth kiss. He pressed him against the BMW and kissed fast.

"What are you doing?" Kavinsky had asked.

He didn't know. They parted again for the fourth time but unlike the other times, this last one haunted him. It followed him around and entered his dreams.

Hennessy told him to just fuck Kavinsky and get it over with. Adam told him to ask Kavinsky on a date and get it over with. Gansey told him he really needed to focus on himself and get over it.

Ronan could not get over it.

Which is how he ended up standing out of Kavinsky's shop, staring at the Open sign, and trying to talk himself into walking in. It's been two weeks since their fourth kiss - not that he's been counting.

He takes a step closer to the shop and then backs off, before pacing back and forth in front of it, until the sound of the door opening makes him freeze and spin around. Kavinsky stands there, his head tilted to the side, looking ridiculously kissable in the afternoon sun.

"Lynch? What the hell are you doing?"

Ronan stammers, wishing he could formulate words but they're failing. He knows two languages and can't even formulate one sentence.

Kavinsky raises an eyebrow. "Is it your tattoo?"

"No," he finally manages. "No- the tattoo is great." He rubs the back of his neck, looking down at his scuffed combat boots. "K..."

"Yes?"

He wants to ask Kavinsky out but he has no idea how to do it. Of course, Adam had been the one to kiss him. Then, they'd just started being boyfriends; there had never been an 'asking out' process. Everything had just happened.

"Look, I have clients coming..." Kavinsky starts but Ronan steps in and kisses him again to shut him up.

There's a moment where Kavinsky stands there, stunned, not kissing him back but then they both relax into it and Kavinsy releases the door so they can step into each other's space. They kiss hungrily until they're both breathless and pulling away for air.

"Shit," Kavinsky gasps. He reaches up to touch his lips, his cheeks turning a faint shade of pink.

Ronan reaches into his pocket and pulls out a matching miniature galaxy sphere and places it in Kavinsky's palm. "Text me."

Their parting less like shrapnel now and more like waves longing for the return to the shore.

A text comes later in the evening and Ronan practically dives for his phone which if Adam had been home, he'd be fairly embarrassed.

-> so about that kiss

Ronan's heart flutters as he types back, glad Kavinsky stole his number from his paperwork. Of course, he's never changed his number, maybe Kavinsky still had it from Before.

<- yea?

-> are you sure you want to do this? are you sure you want to get to know me? pretty sure you hated my guts at the end of hs

<- i did but tbf you were a piece of shit

-> thanks

<- so was i

-> we both were

<- i suck at apologies man so idk if you're wanting one or what

-> i'll take another kiss instead

<- when?

-> whenever you want to give it to me

Ronan chews his bottom lip and sends Kavinsky a final text, asking him to come over. He sends over his address and mentally makes a note to tell Kavinsky everything.

About Adam. About their life here. About their agreement. They can make it work.

The sixth time, arguably the first important time happens six months later. Sunday, the shop is closed, and they're standing in The Insitute of Contemporary Art, staring at artworks by an artist Hennessy is currently obsessing over. The rain outside is partially what drove them indoors to start with but Ronan supposes it kills two birds with one stone.

"I don't get it," Kavinsky says while he tilts his head back and forth.

"I don't think you're supposed to." Ronan turns away from the art so he can look at Kavinsky instead. He studies Kavinsky's profile, his sharp nose, and soft lips. The way his brow creases together while he looks at the painting.

"Pretty sure it's supposed to be about something important- Ronan-." Kavinsky gasps when Ronan turns him to face him. "You almost knocked me on my ass."

"You're fine," Ronan replies. He presses his forehead lightly to Kavinsky's, squeezing his hand where he holds Kavinsky's smaller one in his own. "I'm gonna say something and you're going to think I'm insane."

Kavinsky rolls his eyes. "Are you going to say you like this painting because it's fucking ugly."

"I love you."

Kavinsky blinks, clearly looking like he needs to reboot. "Excuse me?"

"I know it sounds insane but I do, I love you." Ronan blushes, wishing he hadn't spoken at all. Telling Adam he loved him had happened quickly and with ease because he knew it to be true. Now, he's standing at the precipice of loving someone else, someone he'd never expected to love but he does all the same.

"You don't have to say it back," he adds quickly. "I don't expect you to... I just wanted you to kno-." Ronan cuts off because Kavinsky is kissing him. They kiss in front of a Jeff Koons which he's sure Declan would shudder at and he knows Hennessy will laugh at. They kiss until Ronan feels dizzy and when they part, he almost has to sit down.

"Fuck," Ronan whispers.

Kavinsky's face is flushed and he clears his throat, slowly turning to look at the painting again but Ronan feels him squeeze his hand subtly. "So, what do you think this means again?"

Ronan smirks and squeezes back. "I think it fucking sucks but let's go ask Parrish."

Hearing Kavinsky laugh is enough to make everything worth it.

[brave-clarice]

“Clarice” Liveblog: Episodes 5 & 6

Since these are extraordinarily late, I tried to keep them more concise/focused than before. I’m sorry for how long it’s taken me to (almost) catch up. And to the handful of you who’ve enjoyed these and encouraged me to do them: thank you!

Episode 5, “Get Right With God”

the music at the beginning of this episode might just be in the maintenance guy’s headphones(!) but it was still a…Choice.

there’s something so tragic about watching Clarice be unable to use her legs… :’(

this whole scenario feels like a twisted parallel universe version of the end of Hannibal.

glad to see Ardelia finally has her priorities straight and is going to fight for her best friend! let’s forget her Episode 4 subplot ever happened.

good: the warrior finding a weapon even in the direst of circumstances!

bad: those damn moths are back. at least this time they might be drug-induced.

“she worked Bill alone” no, she didn’t. not really. (Hannibal: I’m right here.)

stop trying to make Likable Paul happen, it’s never going to happen!!!

I HATE the “Reesey” nickname, y’all. HATE. IT.

plus, we know that her dad called her “Baby”?

her father’s appearance doubles down on the end-of-Hannibal vibes...Not Sure If Want.

wow, Clarice is being literally tortured? thanks, I hate it!!!

really doubt that Clarice’s Pinto used to belong to her father (who drives a truck in the books??)... weird flex.

and how would she even have gotten it? her mother would either have driven that car into the ground out of necessity or else have sold it for the money the Starlings needed so desperately.

Pintos also weren’t super high-quality cars and were definitely not built to last ~20 years.

Clarice already being able to chat with her father whenever she needs to really undermines the therapy Hannibal will eventually give her, but…I guess they’ve already accepted they’ll never make it that far?

“you’re trying to get in my head” yeah, and she’s doing it, too–’cause she learned from the best!

“you get an answer, I get an answer, Felker.” she’s Hannibal’s girl all right.

this episode’s had flashes of brilliance before diving back into…whatever tf watching one of your favorite characters of all time being tortured is.

I really wanted Ardelia to say that no, but Clarice was like a sister to her.

it took FIVE episodes to get some lamb imagery, but we’ve been looking at moths for the entire season?!

oof, Clarice voicing her own insecurities about her childhood abandonment and using them to twist Felker’s arm...painful but smart.

HANNAH!!!

I would die 4 baby Clarice

after all that, Clarice is going to apologize to Ardelia about last week? this episode SUCKS.

Good: Clarice playing mind games with Felker like Hannibal did to her; Ardelia going to bat for her bestie, lamb flashbacks, baby Clarice, and HANNAH!

Bad: So much. Clarice being medically tortured multiple times, moth hallucinations, the several-years-premature (imo) Daddy-as-Guardian-Angel plot device, “Reesey”...did I mention Clarice getting repeatedly tortured?!

Ugly: Krendler backstory + making out with his wife. Ew.

Wow, this episode was a hot mess, and I kind of hated it. I loved Clarice’s really Hannibalesque approach to Felker, and I’m so thrilled that Hannah got mentioned at all (tho...did they need to be so heavy-handed with the helmet and gun and everything?) Also nice to see Ardelia behaving much more in-character. That said, it was sickening and imo totally unnecessary to further traumatize Clarice the way they did. To make her almost helpless.

Clarice, and by extension Rebecca Breeds (who is fantastic and deserves better), has been given very little range so far. She’s frequently been shown as miserable, afraid, desperate, traumatized, angry, resentful, but I also want to see her joyful, laughing, silly, relaxed...something else that will give her depth. Her life wasn’t miserable 24/7, 365. It was just unfulfilling. We got glimpses of this in the first two episodes. PLEASE bring it back!

And rn I’m questioning how Clarice’s career can possibly drag on for another six years after this. Her apparent PTSD is already interfering with her job performance as it is--this experience is only going to make it worse. Her “body count” in Hannibal was around five, iirc, and that was enough to slap her with the “Death Angel” moniker. In the show at least four people have died in close proximity to Clarice in the space of like...a week. How does she come back from that, even as the savior of Catherine Martin? It’s a PR nightmare for obth Clarice and the FBI.

They’ve also sort of forgotten that the Martins existed while continuing to flesh out Krendler’s (?!) character? It’s weird.

I almost don’t even want to watch Episode 6 after that. But here goes...

Episode 6, “How Does It Feel to Be So Beautiful?”

the freaking MOTHS again, I hate them!

frankly, yeah, Clarice should be on leave.

Clarice’s nondescript monochrome suits and constant ponytail are just so boring. in the book she’s described as never having to put effort into making her hair look good--so why is it always pulled back in this show?

I’m not sure it’s very in-character for Clarice, at this point in her career, to go over her boss’s head to get out of admin leave (one she really needs to take tbh) even for the sake of solving a case

lol what the actual hell @ AG Martin guilt-tripping Clarice, who was very recently tortured and almost died, for not calling Catherine back? Clarice is not Catherine’s therapist!

THIS is what my Vogue-reading heroine with burgeoning great taste wears for a night out? so disappointing.

never in my life did I think I’d be sitting through Krendler’s personal drama in a show ABOUT CLARICE STARLING.

her costume sucks and her hairstyle’s from years in the future, but dang does Clarice look gorgeous.

and I love thinking of her getting a taste of the luxury she’ll enjoy with Hannibal. :)

you know what? I think I was actually fine with them forgetting that the Martins were in this show.

whyyy is Krendler being made so sympathetic?!

now Catherine Martin “loved to sew” just like Frederica Bimmel? hmm. (tbf, maybe this is in the novel, and I’ve just forgotten.)

her gift for Clarice is sweet, though.

so beautiful, indeed

Christ on a cracker, that confrontation between the Martins was painful to watch (not a criticism). this show’s AG and her daughter are very much two of a kind in terms of emotional manipulation.

I stan one (1) doofus

now either Catherine’s gaslighting Clarice...or Clarice’s trauma (over BILL! again with this!) is so pervasive that it’s twisted her memories. either way, I hate it.

so Krendler’s lawyer is dirty and that’s why he’ll (probably) turn against Clarice? but WHY? why can’t Krendler just suck?

Good: Clarice looking gorgeous, Ardelia continuing to fight for Clarice, female characters in positions of authority everywhere

Bad: Clarice’s underwhelming costumes, Clarice’s primary/worst trauma apparently STILL being Buffalo Bill & having Clarice break down crying again (and NOT over what happened last week, which would tbh make a lot more sense).

Sad: Shaan’s backstory about his wife, everything involving Catherine

Ugly: Krendler subplot. Ugh.

I just don’t know how I feel about this installment. Wish I cared more about the overarching conspiracy plot, but I’m really only here for Clarice and Ardelia. And while no show can stand on the shoulders of a single character, for a show about Clarice, there seems to be quite a bit of screentime devoted to her bosses, Martin and Krendler, and even to her team members. And all without Clarice herself getting much character development. They don’t seem to be exploring much of her character other than her traumatic backstories, and I’m no longer very hopeful that she’ll be much more fleshed out in the last four episodes, either. It’s a bummer. I really think Rebecca could shine like Jodie did if she were given a chance.

Most of the scenes with the Martins were visceral and felt so real that it was hard to watch. That said...the AG Martin/Catherine content all strikes me as being somewhat detached from the rest of the show, as if the writers are making it up as they go along with no real end goal in mind.

Man...these two were rough going. Very little humor or warmth and absolutely no joy. Of course the source material is dark, so a somewhat dark crime drama is to be expected, but I really think the show needs a slightly less intense, bleak and (dare I say it?) unpleasant episode. But they writers have really dug themselves into a hole by zeroing in on Clarice’s PTSD. And unlike in Hannibal, there’s no love interest with whom she (and by extension, the audience) can flee her misery and pain. 

I'm cautiously optimistic about the rest of the season. A lot of the ingredients are there, and despite my many criticisms, it’s been great to spend time with a character I love. Fingers crossed that they finish strong!

[silver-wield]

Omg. Your body language analysis is so on point it makes me go uwu. If you're still doing it, will you make one for the scene where Cloud catches Tifa while Barret shoots his damnest at the heli? I have my own analysis but very curious what's your take on it.

Heya, I'm guessing you don't mean the scene with the hand catch, but the one after it where they reach Barret's position on the stairs. Although I have many thoughts about Rude too and why he first of all directed Reno's attention to Tifa, but then noped them away when Reno was about to shoot her. He had an interesting microexpression – teeny facial tic – that hinted something different to the OG “he's crushing on her” angle.

A lot of these “action touches” get discounted by you-know-who because in those situations it's impossible not to touch? I don't get the reasoning and I'm not gonna try and figure out just what counts and what doesn't. It's non-optional. Isn't that the only argument that matters?

Ok, spoiler warning for ppl who haven't played (I tag FF7R spoilers as final fantasy 7 remake spoilers) and it's gonna be a long one so prepare to scroll.

Also, this is one person's interpretation of the scene, so if you disagree that's cool and we'll agree to disagree.

You're also gonna have to excuse the janky quality on some of the screens, I'm grabbing them from Youtube and it's frustrating af trying to get the exact moment I want.

Other analyses if anyone's interested.

Shinra HQ vision scene (Cloti/plot analysis) 

Chapter 3 (Cloti reblog) 

Tifa character analysis 

Aerith Resolution (plot analysis/theory) 

Train graveyard (not really an analysis, but I got some sweet screenshots of Cloti) 

Clotiscrew tunnel analysis 

Cloti reunion analysis 

The Promise Analysis 

Andrea's approval (Cloti ask response) 

Now, strap in and enjoy the ride.

Quick recap. Cloud and Tifa are reunited after that hand catch scene (smug? Me? Nau) and they're heading up to find Barret after seeing Jessie “die”. The mood is not good. This is not romantic, okay? This is war.

Ok, so already we have touchy touching here. You can argue it's high tension/stress moment and Cloud is making sure Tifa's safe, but he doesn't do that with Barret, is all I'm saying.

Cloud's got hold of her entire arm, not just her wrist or hand, he's got hold of her as securely as possible giving they're in motion. He doesn't want to lose her. She's got her arm on him, braced and using his body as a shield, which he is clearly fine with because he positions her partly behind him while he turns to check the threat from the stairs – possible further collapse of the platform they're now on. He's protecting her. Obvs. I shouldn't have to spell this out. It's not romantic, but it's telling of their trust and reliance on each other as partners. This is a clear pair.

Ok, so moving on from Cloti – cause action scene and this isn't a romance game – we get Tifa hearing Barret behind her. She turns and there's her concern for her friend. Obviously, she cares. It's her entire motivation for leaving the safety at the bottom and hauling her ass up those stairs.

Her face here hits me hard in the feels. She's so grim and worried and doesn't want to lose anyone else. She's caught up to Cloud, but then she lost Jessie – right in front of her and she couldn't do a thing about it. Now, she sees Barret facing down a helicopter.

Take that in. It's a dude – ok he's got a machine gun on his arm – fighting military spec weaponry on a fucking helicopter. Of course she's frightened and worried that she's about to see him get shot. Someone else she couldn't save.

Remember, FF7 has themes of loss and failure. The heroes don't always win or if they do there's a cost. How much of that threads into Remake is still to be seen, but since this scene is following canon we can assume it stands for now.

Tifa's character is often motivated by the desire to not lose people. She even says as much to the Shinra middle manager that she doesn't want anyone else to die. She stops Cloud killing the security agents and Johnny. This is a girl who fights because she wants people to live, not die.

Ok, so now we've got her running to reach Barret, leaving the safety of her bolt hole beside Cloud, who immediately turns and is all wtf when he sees her playing chicken with a chopper. Tbf, Barret doesn't sound that pleased about it, either. It's a crazy impulsive move likely driven by the desire to not lose her friend. If they're together they can stop whatever's coming. Tifa is very teamwork oriented if you recall all her actions from chapter 3 and how demoralised she was when she had to agree to disagree with Avalanche.

Cloud for his part doesn't take too long to dive to the rescue again. I think by now he's pretty much fulfilled that childhood promise and this is way more than just helping out a colleague or friend. He's not hesitating for a second to put himself in front of her with nothing but a sword for a shield.

Sorry, I just stopped the vid on this moment and it looks so damn cool I couldn't resist adding it. All it does is reinforce the above statement that Cloud has zero reservations of putting himself between Tifa and certain death. He's her hero without even stopping to think about it. The framing is stunning. Barret in the background, Cloud in the middle distance and Tifa in the foreground. Cloud has lined himself up with Tifa so that she's as protected by his position as he could possibly get. That takes skill. Tifa's half crouched to make herself a smaller target, but Cloud's body language is open, defiant. He's basically saying “come at me”.

Ah and now I'm sure some people will be all “but Cloud left her in the middle of the platform”. Well, yes, it's called diversion. He's the bigger target, the better target. And by making the chopper follow his progress, he's taken its sights away from Tifa's position. It now has less chance of hitting her when it next fires. Remember, Cloud knows tactics. He's not a dumdum. You can see that on his face as he's deciding his next move. The chopper won't wait for him to stop and explain what he needs to do, it's gonna fire. He's gotta move quickly. He also needs to trust that Tifa can get herself out of trouble. So many people's complaints about how she's not a damsel and should take care of herself. Well, this is Cloud trusting her not to be a damsel. He helped her out, and now he's gotta rely on her helping herself too. If he took her by the hand at this moment and dragged her along with him, she probably would've died. Tifa got herself to his position alone, she's clearly capable. He knows how much ass she can kick.

After that we've got the typical checking for danger and guy banter. I'm loving the development of Cloud and Barret's relationship. They went from outright hating each other to friends over the course of this game. It's beautiful and develops even further in their resolution – I love their one, it's so sweet and sad and such a guy bonding moment. Male friendship is important too, especially to Cloud who doesn't have many friends.

Now, despite the banter, Cloud's head turns at this point, back to Tifa. He's made sure the immediate area is safe, checked in with Barret and now it's back to his primary focus.

I love that Barret calls himself the leading man. It reminds me of Balthier in FF12.

And you'll see that Barret is still in the middle of that line while Cloud is stretching his hand out for Tifa. Could be a “I gotta grab my teammate” move, but I mean, really? Are we that delusional? He didn't have to do any of this. He could've relied on Tifa to get herself over there and not put out a hand for her. Barret didn't grab him. You could say that Barret doesn't like Cloud enough for that, but it's a high action moment. They're comrades and being shot at. Any helping hand is appreciated. Maybe Barret thought Cloud was capable enough not to need help. But then wouldn't the same apply to Tifa? Why does she need helping just cause she's a woman? She can kick ass.

And what about Barret? His attention isn't on Tifa at all. His focus is the helicopter, so he's either relying on Tifa to be ok without that level of help or he's expecting Cloud to support her.

Yes, she is literally throwing herself into his arms. That's how much she trusts him to catch her. Again, Cloud is going for a full arm grab – a hand or wrist isn't secure enough in this situation and he wants to keep her safe.

Tifa. Well, she looks scared. Shocker. She just got shot at by a helicopter. Ofc she's scared and leaning on Cloud. She's taking strength and reassurance from him. I mean, she could've just grabbed his arm and pulled herself to safety. There's no need for this depth of touch.

You'll notice this all happens within miliseconds while Barret says that leading man line. This is very quick action, very decisive. No hesitation on anybody's part.

I mean, this is full upper body contact between them. I don't know what else to say about it. There's no need to get this close. He could've pulled her over and then let go. He didn't. They both prolonged contact. This is relief they're ok for the moment. They’re united in how they feel.

Oh look, eye contact. I've pointed out before that Cloud doesn't do eye contact with people very well, but he does with Tifa, no matter the situation. Looking at this I'm like damn get a room. It's an intense look between them and even though there's shit hitting the fan around them you can see they have attention for each other, too. He's pulled her to safety and now he's meeting her gaze to gauge if she's ok. She nods. He nods. Back to the action. They don't have time for a drawn out romantic bit. They've got more serious things to think about, but even during the most high tension action scenes they have this energy about them that speaks to their close bond and affection. He's comfortable with her touch in every situation – if I'm wrong about this then someone point it out to me so I can see plz. He's still got his hand on her after they separate from their action hug and then when he drops his hand he braces it against the pipe beside her. Still close to her, though not actually touching.

After Barret asks if they're ready, Cloud looks around then looks at Tifa again. Did he need to do that? Idk, but he didn't look at Barret before they hauled ass.

Conclusion:

Kinda obvious. Even in high tension situations Cloud has part of his attention on Tifa. He's hyper aware of where she is and whether she needs him at any given time. It's sweet af how much he focuses on being her hero without even really knowing why. This instinctive need to protect her comes from the real!Cloud part of him. The one that made the promise to her. The one that has a crush on her.

Some people can say these kind of moments don't count because Cloud has no choice(?) but to touch her, but actually, he has no reason to touch her the amount he does. There's ways to execute these moments without this much unnecessary touching. He does it this way because of an instinctive need and desire to touch her this much. It's what he wants to do.

[miketownsends]

please give me all it tillmike headcanons or weird plot ideas I'm cursed with being obsessed with these terrible pitchers

HEY SAME i have not been able to stop thinking about them for like two weeks now. this is a curse and a blessing.

(god i really was over here at one point like "i love Mike but i don't really ship him with anyone and i don't think i will" and then i saw 1 (one) piece of fanart and now i live in this garbage pit. luv these boys.)

anyway here's some dumb shit i've been talking/thinking abt:

-absolutely under no circumstances will they admit to dating. Tillman is particularly guilty of this. "hey Tillman tell your boyfriend-" "WE'RE NOT DATING" meanwhile they have like an apartment and a cat and constantly make out backstage at Garages shows. tbf he also doesn't admit to dating Declan either so that's just like. how it Is.

-they both think the other is way cooler than them, except Tillman would LITERALLY RATHER DIE than say that, like he LITERALLY DID DIE and would still never say it, because he will never admit that anyone is cooler than him, because he's the coolest. Mike might admit it if he's like. kinda buzzed or something maybe. and also if Tillman definitely is not in the room or even in the same city. just in case.

-i feel like Mike kinda like. gets Tillman's whole deal, y'know? in the sense of like, Mike realizes he could have maybe been that person, were that the type of person that he was. does that make sense? like, when everyone was giving Mike a hard time about what a disappointment he was, he could have leaned into it and done the whole heel persona. he didn't because he wouldn't because that's not who he is, but he COULD'VE, and so he recognizes that and it kind of puts him an unique position to like. get where Tillman is coming from.

-i think i mentioned this last time i Talked About Them but i still just really like the idea of newly confident!Mike just totally throwing Tillman off his game. because it's Funny to me. and Mike is still just The Biggest Dork in the world he's just CONFIDENT about it now so everyone else watching them is just "why???? is this even working?????" but it's totally, totally working -on that note, bc i literally just saw this (A is Mike B is Tillman):

-i just really want them to kiss onstage at some point. I Would Like To See It. (the Garages would NOT like to see it but what do they know really) (i am saying “i would like to see it” like i couldn’t/won’t just WRITE it but y’know) -Mike tries to get Tillman and Jaylen to be friends all the time, bc a) he loves both of them very much and b) they both like came back from the dead and all and he feels like they should probably talk about that? it’s a very futile effort bc they hate the shit out of each other and he knows it but he keeps trying. (also they do, occasionally, attempt to sort of TOLERATE being in each other’s general presence for like 5 minutes at a time because they do both love Mike and want him to be happy. but also GOD they just really don’t want to be around each other lmaooooooooo) -*drags hands down face* IDK I JUST LOVE THEM?????

[yikeswtfmate]

main masterlist

for the lovely Anon who’s requested #72 & #19 with Ray baby

this is smutty, which tbf is the closest i’ll probably ever get to actual smut, so there’s a warning: sexual themes obviously. i’m probably going to have to start tagging these the thirst is real just bc it is.

72. Don’t you dare.

19. Scream all you want. No one can hear you.

Y/N is stuck at one of Mickey’s parties again. For all the love she holds for evening dresses and seeing Ray in a three piece suit, she will never get around to these bloody evenings where she’s surrounded by dying men and mouldy-smelling women. The wannabes are even worse, with their arse licking and their forced Royal accents, of which Olivia Coleman would be jealous. Wankers, the lot of them.

Raymond takes a seat next to her, handing over the flute of bubbly he’s promised half an hour ago. What she hates most about these parties is how much networking he has to do, and she’s goddamned tired of being dragged along and displayed like a crown jewel for the sake of appearances. She still can’t understand how Rosalind stands it.

“I’m sorry, love. Lord Maxwell decided this is the right place to remind me about their rat problem and wanted to know if we can pay them earlier this year.”

He’s leaned forward onto his seat, close enough that he can place a hand on her thigh. He was wary of the high slit when they left the house, but he now supposes it has its advantages. His eyes follow the curve of her bare neck, hair tied in a curled bun at her nape, so he doesn’t miss the heavy sigh she lets out or the long sip of champagne.

“Can we just go home now?” She says, lips wet with alcohol. “We’ve done our part. Mickey can manage by himself until the end of the night.”

“You know we can’t leave yet.”

There’s a flash of annoyance in her eyes, but she doesn’t press further. Instead, she sets her glass on the table and stands up in a flurry of silk. Her hand finds his shoulder and she whispers in his ear as he stares at the lipstick stains on the flute in front of him. “I’m going to make my own fun then.”

Ten minutes later, while he’s discussing some political affair, Raymond feels something pressed into his free hand. To his left, Y/N smiles brightly up at him, proud of whatever she’s been up to. He shoves his hand into his pocket, feeling around the material, as Y/N wraps her fingers around his forearm, easily slipping into the discussion. The men are shocked at the insights she shares on the subject, but Raymond cannot focus on that at the moment. There’s lace in his pocket – and a subtle glance at her confirms that it’s the pair of black knickers she put on earlier that night.

“Excuse me, gentlemen.” Ray clears his throat. “I must ask you to pardon us for a moment, my fiancée is not feeling well.”

He doesn’t even care that they all know it’s a blatant lie, all he cares about is getting Y/N alone in a dark corner. A hand splayed over the small of her back, and they make their way through the throngs of people, as they both offer fake smiles and nod politely left and right. There’s still a noticeable smirk plastered on Y/N’s face and Ray’s teeth hurt from clenching his jaw so tightly.

“You promised me you’ll be a good girl tonight.” He growls lowly.

“And you promised me you’ll not leave my side to talk boring shite with snooty putrid old men.”

Raymond mentally thanks his luck when he manages to push her into an empty room on the first floor without meeting anyone who ‘absolutely must speak with him right this moment.’ He locks the door and rubs at his eyes under his glasses – he swears this woman will be the death of him. And just in case he wasn’t entirely sure about that statement, when he looks at her, Y/N is splayed on one of the couches, shamelessly smirking at this turn of events.

He has to take a deep breath as his pupils dilate at her bare legs, view unobstructed by the silk dress. He’s painfully aware that she’s not wearing any knickers, although he can’t see it, so he takes out the lacy underwear from his pocket with a raised eyebrow.

“I thought I told you this was an important dinner.”

“Oh, come off it. You always say that. Besides…” She starts and standing up, her heels stop right in front of him as her fingers slip under the lapels of his jacket, up to his neck. “We never got to christen Mickey’s new manor.”

Raymond grabs her wrists and shakes his head, which only earns him another roll of her eyes and a scoff. “Or I can just go back down there and let that cute bartender take me home.”

“Don’t you dare.” Raymond snarls.

The mischief in her eye pisses him off, and although he knows she would never do something like that, only the thought of it enrages him. Pulling her harshly by the back to his chest, his free hand travels from around her throat to her lips. His thumb pushes open her mouth, and he’s more than pleased by the quickening of her breath. He should know better than to taunt her though, because the next second, she takes his thumb in her mouth, sucking on it while maintaining eye contact.

“You want it that bad, baby?” He whispers.

She doesn’t have time to respond before his right hand lands roughly on her arse. The silk material does nothing to soften the sting and she whines, completely losing her balance and falls into his arms. That mewl is his undoing, so, unable to restrain himself, Raymond shoves her into the wall behind him, face pressed to the cold surface.

“Scream all you want. No one can hear you.” He says after she cries out in a mixture of delight and outrage.

He bunches up her dress to her hips with one hand, while the other does quick work of unbuckling his belt and shoving down his pants. He doesn’t hear her warning that he’s going to crease the gown, because her bare arse is right there in front of him.

With a lick of his lips, he leans into her, fingers grazing lightly right where she wants him. She whimpers once more and he sucks the skin at her throat.

“You’re soaking wet for me, baby.” He grunts. “Tell me what you want.”

“Please, Ray. Please, please, please fuck me, please.”

“Anything for you, baby.”

[gelo-p]

Blooming in ZERO: Memories

I’ve decided to T100 the Re:ZERO collaboration! Let’s review how it went. XD

WARNING! A rather image-heavy post

Step 1: Roll for Rinko! (She’ll make my team stronger) Strictly speaking, I didn’t need her (means more work though), but I thought maybe I’ll get lucky? ^o^

I only had enough stars for 3 10-pulls though, and I have to say, this paid gacha was really tempting... (my Twitter friends all got Rinko WTF)

I’m broke though ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

We would quickly learn that we were overloading the servers, LOL. The game was very unplayable during the first two hours. During my first roll, the connection actually timed out D:

When I logged back in, I saw my stars got deducted, but thankfully I had new members in the waiting room. ^^

I actually got the limited Ako during that very first roll!

And so I tried again.

Fuck my luck. I’ve done 3 10-pulls, and all of them sucked.

Time to start playing I guess...

Oh right. The connection was bad.

Really bad. >_<

It’s been a while since I met coldgaze (P3), a fellow T10 from the Cycling Seasons event! That guy rarely shows up in the public rooms, LOL.

Also, we got a login campaign for 2500 stars! Which means another 10-pull! ^o^

...Why did I even think my luck would improve. >_>

Know what?

I SUMMON THEE! BLACK FRIDAY SALES!!!

MWAHAHAHAHAHA RIP wallet-kun, RIP being an F2P player 2020-2020

I swear to Babanbo-sama, if I don’t get Rinko using the paid gacha-

OMG D:

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE-

YESSSSSSSSSS

I am now a believer in the Babanbo religion.

WHAT? Had I known I would be rolling both Rinko and Ako in this single paid gacha I would have started with this and avoided wasting 10k stars!!!

>_<

(Of course, I couldn’t have known. Although in hindsight, I definitely should have tried rolling the paid gacha first... but then we only got the Black Friday sale news after I already spent 10k free stars, so... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

Fuck yes, Rinrin. Fuck yes.

I already had a good 4* Yukina, so I didn’t really need to roll for her anymore. Not to say I didn’t want her ^^

Anyway let the tiering continue!

First checkpoint: Almost at T100!

Let’s talk about Unite! A to Z for a bit.

I’ve been tiering since forever and one of the many gripes casual players like me (yes. I’m casual) is that a lot of the more serious players go into the public rooms and just spam the hell out of this song. I understand why they do it (tl;dr - short length, high score, aka “meta song”), and I can’t really stop them from doing it.

There are other meta songs, like Jumpin’, that give a little less score for a little longer duration, but players really, and I mean really, like to spam A to Z. I could argue that you can’t really get the full benefit of A to Z 100% of the time (players take time picking songs and difficulty anyway, and you’re not always going to be consistent with your score), so in the long run, there’s no significant harm in picking other meta songs (maybe I should do the math..?), but no.

For those players, 100% AtoZ.

And it’s gotten really annoying, to the point that players like the one in the screenshot just straight-up disconnects when AtoZ is picked.

Anyway, back to the story. ^o^

WTF? Why is Gigguk (the #77 guy) tiering? XD Is that really Gigguk?

Who knows? XD

99 ILLUSION IS MY LIFE

I feel bad for P4, LOL. Surrounded by Yukina cards. XD

WE ARE UNSTOPPABLE

Progress report: T35!

I took this screenshot just as I finished a game of AtoZ...

...and the game disconnects WTF GIVE ME MY FLAMES AND EFFORT BACK

(the score’s a bit higher since it wasn’t completely tallied yet when I took the 1st screenshot)

I’ve seen Bad Wifi Pam a couple of times during my entire Bandori career and when I saw this, all I could think was-

“Is it finally gonna happen?? IS IT!?”

“YESSSS!” XD

I’m sorry Bad Wifi Pam, but that moment really felt like I saw the DVD logo diving into the corner XD

I hope they didn’t lose too many flames though.

I told you, people just hate AtoZ XD

We didn’t sign up for a rhythm that only has one song, come on!

My connection got bad a couple of times and I was punished for it. >_<

There are 2 impostors among us.

P3, when has that ever stopped them LOL

UGH tell me about it, P4.

FINALLY A RANDOM ROO-

WHAT-

WHY, P1 WHY!?

I changed my name to encourage Random songs ^^

..not that it would work, but whatever.

We more than managed to...

Stay Alive. ;D

I’ll see myself out.

WTF is this, a Mexican Standoff???

More AtoZ haters (also known as Etuze, well, coz that’s how Aya pronounces it... We love you Aya! :”> )

Finally ran out of drinks.

It was time to burn stars for flames.

:|

:|

:|

:|

(That Orion guy ended up as T9, BTW. There’s more incentive to AtoZ spam when going for T10, but it doesn’t make it any less annoying for me.)

MY PC DIED WTF

It got fixed after a restart though, so thank fuck.

Now that I think about it, I need to really get down to the bottom of my GPU issues.

LOL, one time I picked Happy Synthesizer for the lulz, and one of the AtoZ spammers disconnected :)))

TBF, nobody likes to see Happy Synthesizer in Multi.

I’ve decided to be an asshole and just delay AtoZ. Oh? What’s that? AtoZ again? here, let me take 30 seconds to pick a difficulty.

Please note that this is an asshole move, since the other players are gonna get dragged into it. But I was really sick of it.

Hey! A friend that also hates AtoZ!

Anybody wants Miracle Crystals? -_-

Someone actually copied my name WTF XD

Woke up on the 2nd-to-the-last morning to see myself almost out of T100 contention.

Check out my challenge points tho. 8-)

It was time to burn them!

STOP THE COUNT! STOP THE COU-

Yeah nah fuck you. Count them all.

Aaaaaand we’re done! I parked at... this score, and I was fairly confident I’d still be in T100. ^^

...Unfortunately, I woke up the following morning to see that Bestdori projected the cutoff to be at 10.6M. That is waaay too close to 11M for comfort. So I panicked and played some more, even got to Level 230 in the process XD

Eventually the cutoff never really reached 11M, so I guess I didn’t have to? :3

I’d rather regret the extra effort though, than potentially lose T100 standing.

Now we’re done. 8-)

Just waiting for the event to end!

AAAND EVENT OVER! *victory fanfare*

LOL one of the T10′s got banned. Don’t cheat, kids.

IT’S HEEEEREEEEE

YukiRan SayoLisa YukiRan SayoLisa YukiRan SayoLisa YukiRan SayoLisa-

[calliecat93]

Top 15 Star Trek TOS Episodes (Part One)

I debated on doing this until I did the second watchthrough/reviews... but heck with it. I don’t see it changing too terribly much after and I thought it would be fun. It’s been a fun ride with TOS and I didn’t expect to love it, but here we are. It ain’t a perfect show, but a good one with good characters, strong themes, and just the right amount of intrigue and silliness. I had a blast watching it, but let’s face it, some episodes are better than others. Some are goofy but enjoyable, some... well, they tried. Everyone’s got what they like and dislike, and these are the ones that I liked best. All is only my opinion, so take it with a grain of salt. So to finally cap off this watchthrough before I start the second one and also plunge into TNG, here is the first half of my favorite TOS episodes~

#15. Bread and Circuses

I didn’t realize this until I saw someone else point it out... but this is essentially Star Trek’s version of The Hunger Games, only combined with Roman gladiators. We have our main trio get captured by the government whom have already caused another Starfleet captain to succumb and he sentenced his entire crew to death. Thus we have Kirkg ivent he option of either doing the same, or he can remain in defiance and risk Spock and McCoy’s lives. Either way, he loses. It’s a good episode, showing Kirk given one of the most sadistic choices that you can give him... and yet he doesn’t break. Oh he gets plenty of hardship. He makes the choice to keep the crew form beaming down, which morally is te best decision. After all, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Kirk, unlike Captain Merik, chooses to preserve his cew’s safety as a captain should. Whatever happens to him makes no difference... but because Spock and McCoy are with him, him making that chocie means that they suffer theconsequences as they are not only thrust into gladitorial combat for their lives, bt Kirk is forced to watch and can do nothing. He tries to when Bones is down, but restrained form doing so. But even then he doesn’t back down or even consider it. Merik may have thrown away his whole crew, but like Hell Kirk is going to and concerning the other two, he accepts execution after Spock breaks the rules to save Bones, emphasizing the point more. It;s a really god episode to show just how much Kirk truly follows that responsibility.

We also have some great Spock/McCoy content here as the episode does put their relationship int he spotlight a bit. Their relationship is the most interesting to me so this was a great one. They bicker pretty much all episode with even the other guy they got caught with asking if they’re enemies, which Kirk just replies that even those tow don’t know. But I think if there’s any doubt that they don’t care about each other, this one promptly shuts it up. Spock, despite knowing that he can’t, defends McCoy and saves his life. This leads tot he excellent scene int he cells where Spock is trying to figure a way out, despite fully well knowing that he can’t break through the bars. Logically it would be pointless to continue fruitless efforts, but he tries to anyways. When McCoy tries to thank him for saving him, with Spock both hiding behind his usual logical shell while still focusing on the futile escape effort. Thus we get McCoy confronting him about being afraid of living and not knowing how to handle even one warm feeling. It’s a really good scene performed excellently by Leonard Nimoy and DeForest Kelley and is just a really good insight into their relationship. I’ll keep from going into any huge detail for if that review project makes it this far, but still an excellently performed scene, especially when it caps off with McCoy simply saying that he’s worried about Jim too, the one thing that the two CAN agree on without doubt.

This is at fifteen mainly because of a few small factors. I only know a few things about Roman history so anything about it went over my head and the ending also baffled me likely due to that. We also have it implied that Kirk did... it with a slave girl. Mind you the slave girl went to him and again it’s implied. But that still makes me feel... very uncomfortable once the girl did it under orders, and therefore not fully without consent. I’m gonna have to watch it again when I dot he more in-depth analysis, but... yeah. The ending also leaves without a real resolution to the planet, remaining as they are until they eventually fall just like the actual Rome did. I guess that was the intention, but... just kinda sucks that nothing truly got accomplished. Still from a character standpoint, it was a really good one for the Triumvirate and a great watch.

#14. For the World is Hollow and I Have Touched the Sky

So for those who have been following me since I began this venture, you know that McCoy is my absolute favorite character. So when we got to a McCoy-centric episode, I was excited! And overall, it was a good one. Not one of the best, but perfectly fine. We have McCoy diagnosed with a terminal illness and given a year to live. When he and the other two transport onto a meteor-esque spaceship, they encounter the priestess Natira and her people headed for essentially a promised land witht he ship controleld by The Oracle. As Kirk and Spock try to learn more, McCoy is left with Natira who has grown smittenw ith hima dn wishes for him to remain as her mate. Sadly, I feel like this pisode wasted a lot of potential. Bones, the Chief Medical Officer who is always taking care of everyone else, is now the sick one and has only a eya rleft, if event hat. But the only real signs of this is he’s a little weaker than normal, which tbf it was just diagnoses so he may not have the most severe symptoms bu it also kidna makes the fact feel... less urgent. Using that time to set up himw ith Natira also felt wasted since we have the potential of a very emotional story where McCoy sis truggling with his lfie and the others have to come to terms that e’s going to die and likely struggle to find some way, any way to save him... and we spend it with a Girl of the Week who we’ll never see again and on a romance that while it is kinda sweet, ultimately leaves zero impact. It just feels like there was so much wasted potential and the emotional weight that you DO get... it feels less strong if you don’t know McCoy’s history. We know it now cause of supplementary material and such, butt he audiece of the 60’s certainly didn’t, hence why this is fourteen on the list.

That being said, the episode is still good. What makes up for the lack of impact about McCoy’s status and lack of history is DeForest Kelley. The man put his all into this episode (he did in every episode, but especially here when he gets ot be center stage), expressing McCoy’s sadness and loneliness as he talks to Natira perfectly. You can feel that loneliness, that longingness for what Natira’s offering him, that need to just have... some kind of happiness and intimacy that he was just never able to truly have, especially now. He just feels so... sad and vulnerable. Even though we’ve seen him interact romantically with women before, he comes off as so nervous and uncertain about what he’s doing. Like it’s been so long since he’s been intimate with anyone that he is at an utter loss on what to do with it. Natira essentially takes the lead and is even perfectly fine with caring for him in the limited time that he has left. There is someone willing to be with him and to love him for the first time in who knows how long and willing to continue to do so despite him dying... is it any shock that he chose to remain? And even then he did so in part to save Kirka and Spock from death when they got caught... and even then when he found out how to get the ship on it’s actual course and out oft he way of danger, he called them immediately for help. Yeah he almost got his brain fried for it which tbf he didn’t know would happen, but it still shows how selfless he really is, still placing others well-being before his own. As a good doctor would and should.

We also have Kirk and Spock’s reactions to the news. Kirk only knows because Chapel pretty much forced Bones to tell him and the man looks like a kicked puppy when told. He even tells Bones that he doesn’t have to go on the mission with them when normally he’s all gung-ho about dragging him along, only allowing it because this time Bones actually wants to go. Spock finds out after they all get zapped with Bones taking longer to wake up/being briefly unrsponsive, where Kirk admits it to him. Spock is noticibly concerned, emphasized when he holds onto McCoy’s arm for a good 30 seconds just to help the man sit up. McCoy can already tell that he knows before Kirk say it...a dn chooses to just let it be and get back to the matter at hand. Then there’s McCoy after he made his decision and faces the two for as far as he knew the final time. Kirk argues with him and is all but begging him to come back since otherwise he’s gonna die, which McCoy refuses since...well, he’s gonna either die from collision or being shot down, or he dies of xenopolycythemia. Either way he’s on borrowed time, so why not at least let him live it hacving a shot at happiness? Kirk is upset. Spock is as upset as a Vulcan will express. McCoy’s not happy about it, but firm in his decision... so firm it kinda makes the end where he does decide to go back kind of a juxtaposition, but I ain’t complaining either. The cure is also too convenient, but again not complaining. It doens’t seem like that much of an episode at first glance, but once you sit down and reallye xamine it even if you know nothign about McCoy’s backstory or peornsal life, it relaly leaves an impact. Again, a testemant to Kelley’ performance. As such even wit it’s issues and waste of potential, I adore it~!

#13. Obsession

I don’t see this one talked about much, but I found this one... well I hate to say the word but fascinating. What can I say? I’m a sucker for character studies, and BOY do we have a good one with Kirk here. In this episode we have a mysterious gas creature thing killing the crew and eventually get into The Enteprrise. Kirk reacts badly to it. Why? Well his crew dying of course, but the big reason is because he’s dealt with this creature before when he was a lieutenant where due to hesitaitng for a brief moment, mass casualties including his commanding officer were killed. So now with this creature’s pesence, Kirk is ont he hunt to take it down once and for all. But as the title indicates, he’s leaning towards becoming obsessed with it. We se Kirk acitng more angry and reckless than usual, especially when he continues to choose this over getting out of the space to diver some vaccines whent heya re desperately needed... yeah we’ll try to ignore how uncomfortable that is int he current times for now. The on of his former CO is also part of the Enterprise crew, and Kirk is spreading that obsession onto him, even punishing him for hesitating as he had when you’d expect him to be more sympathetic. It’s an episode that really unsettles you because Kirk isn’t acting like Kirk. Even in Consciousness of the King when dealing with the man who... you know, caused a genocide that Kirk was a victim of, he mostly held it together.

It’s these kinds of episodes that always fascinate me. What happens when we put this character into a situaitont hat completeley unnerves them? How would they react? How would it affect their usually rational actions? What would drive them to behave in such a way? How do those around them react? Kirk is very much dealing with a trauma and while eh is able to convince Spock and McCoy that e IS sound of mind and fit for duty, it doesn’t change that he’s allowing the trauma and guilt to morph into a dangeorus obsessiont hat is risking numerous lives. Not to mention afecting a young man who is in a similar position to him and also lost a loved one, yet the one that you’d expect to have Kirk’s sympahty is the one he’s treaitng harshly because of what he himself went through. Yes Kirk realizes it at the end and both corrects his mistakes and takes outt he monster, and it was good to see that he was able to pull himself back. But it was still just so interesitng to explore Kirk in this kind of position.

Spock and McCoy were also on point with both knowing that Jim isn’t acting right and ultimateley confornting him. The whole scene where McCoy gives Kirk essentially apsycological analysis, bringing Spock in once Kirk gets partiulalry heated, and them both laying down the line and holding firm until Kirk properly assures themt hat he is fit for duty was such a great scene. So was Spock actually seekign Bones as he knows that he can better understand Kirk’s emotional issues and him trying to comfort Garrovic was nice... it failed but he was stillt rying to do the right thing when Jim couldn’t. It’just one of those episodes that a character analyist like me eats up. As far as flaws go, notign comes to mind, but that might change on rewatch. I had just had others I liked better that placed it here, but it was very much an episode that got my attention.

#12. Operation: Annihilate

I still remember the suspense that this episode had me in. So we have the crew arrive at a colony that is uner attack by these parasites that are infecting thema nd leading them to painful deaths. Its already bad when Kirk finds his brother dead and his sister-in-law dies in utter agony, leaivng his young nephew’s fate uncertain. But it gets worse when Spockg ets infected and while he does his best, he’s having a difficult time managing the pain. It shows too in not only the scene where he pretty much goes balistic, but every scene after where he’s moslty under control, you can see the pain in his body lamnguage, tone, and eyes. Nimoy did an excelelnt job at keeping up that usual Spock demeanor, but converyign everything through body language alone. The team has to work to find a way to get rid of these parasites before it kills anyone else and exterminate them fromt he colony.

IMO, this was when iot felt like the writers realized what they had with the Triumvarite. At that point it was mainly abotu Kirka dn Spock and hwile Bones got it better than a few of the others, he still didn’t feel... quite there yet. I mean Kelley wans’t evne including int he opening credits until the next season. Here though we have all three with something major going on that’s important. Kirk is trying to figure out how to deal witht he situaiton which has cost him two fmaily members and may cost him his kid nephew. Spock is n pain due tot he parasite but still trying to perform his duties,e ven beaming down to get one of the parasites sicne as he’s already infected, he’s not at risk. McCoy is tryign to figure out how to get rid of the things and is the one having to keep both Spock and Peter alive. These all intersect together and the three just have this great chemistry. Their dynamic isvery mucht he thignt hat I loved most whenw atching the series, and this is when it felt like it clicked into place. The climax isalso heart-breaking. They figure out that bright lightcan kill the parasites, but McCoy is worried about what that intensity can do to Spock. He’s reluctant, but both Kirk and Spock push him to do it and while it’s successful in killing the parasite, it elaves Spock blind. Then Bones finds out that he didn’t need to turn it up that high and would have know had he just waited a few moments. While Spcok accepts it as a necessary loss, Kirk can barley hold back his fury... thoguh I DON’T like how the blame all get put on Boens when Kirk made him do it. Evenw hen Kirk tells Bones later that it wasn’t his fault, just by Bones’ face you can tell that he fully blmes himself.

That does bringmy big criticism though that lande dit at twelve. The ending is... nto good. I mean yay the succeed, but it felt like this was meant to be a two-parter, they couldn’t get the seocnd part, and had to make a hasty resolution to clear up the plot quickly. Not only is Peter’s face never mentioned or do we see Kirk’s reactionw hether good or bad, but Spock... is fine. He had a second eyelid that NEVER comes up again and he had just forgottena bout it. I now that TOS wans’t a serialized show but it not only felt like a waste of some potential story and character development for all three of our boys, but like haivng Spock blindd at all and sending McCoy down that guilt trip was utterly unecessary to begin with because it all happened int he last five minutes. I’mg lad that Spock was okay, and the end where Bones asks Kirk to not tell Spockw hat he said about him being the best First Offficer int he fleet, which Spock ehars and thanks him for half-enuinely, half-jokignly, again it feels like it was unecessary with how lat eit happened and how little impact it ultimateley had. Because of that, it landed here. But it’s still an enjoyable episode that again, felt like when the Triumvirate truly clicked into place and gave us even more good material after,

#11. The Naked Time

When I got to this episode, I had to remember how I quit as a teenager right before this and proceeded to yell ‘why didn’t you just go ONE more episode you idiot?!” to my past self. I really enjoyed this episode mainly for the concept. A virus that erases one inhibitions and self-control. Some of them are wa ky like Sulu with the fencing sword, which was also the most entertaining part of the episode. But it’s still interesting as we see these characters just give into whatever they’re desiring without any sort of thought and it erupts into chaos. It WAS a tad uncomfortable cause... you know, we’re watching a spreading virus that came about cause someone failed to follow proper safety guidelines while we’re living in a pandemic. But that’s not the episode’s fault.

It especially got interesting when Spock got it. This is the fourth episodes aired (I think it’s later in production order but I watched the order Netflix gave me) but even then we saw that Spock was a logical, very in-control character. We din’t know all the details anout him yet or that much about Vulcans, but we’d seen enough to get the general gist of the character. Then due to the cirus, those mental barriers begin to crumble rapidly. The scene where he is alone, trying to force himself to gain control of his emotions and ultimately failing as he breaks down... damn that was an excellent scene. Apparently it was thought of on the spot by Leonard Nimoy and he only had time for one take. Boy did he nail it. That was the moment I became invested in Spock as a character and in his and Kirk’s relationship as Kirk tries to snap him out of it, even risking getting infected himself because he needs Spock.  I think that there are episodes that I enjoy more and the weird time travel ending made the ending really weird. Hence why this just barely missed the Top 10. But back when the show mainly gripped me for it’s science fiction concepts, this was a really good episode. It was the first one I went and watched twice before moving to the next one. I’m just so interested in the idea of losing your self-control and how you and others around you deal with it. Maybe it’s the analyst in me talking, but damn those mental concepts always get to me! A fun watch that was essentially the episode that convinced me that yes, this show is good and this time I wasn’t backing out.

#10. Mirror, Mirror

Top 10 now! Here we go! So.. mirror alternate reality. We’ve seen this a billion times in just about every media ever. IDK how common it was when Star Trek did it, but I always love this kind of concept snd seeing how a character would act if things had gone even slightly different. The Mirror Verse is admittedly a little too cartoonishly evil, but does come across as a fascist dictatorship, so I can’t really complain. Anyways, Kirk, McCoy, Scotty, and Uhura and up there and now have to figure out how to get home without anyone catching on that they’re not their counterparts. One thing I love is that it gives Scotty and Uhura some much needed focus and they are both awesome with Scotty being his usual miracle worker self and Uhura kicking ass as she gets info and outright threatens Sulu when he tries to come on to her. God I love that woman~

The Mirror Crew are essentially one-dimensional monsters with the exception or Mirror Spock. He’s still the logical being that we know him as, but much colder and ruthless as well. Yet he still is the closest to matching his usual self and has at least some level of decency compared to everyone else. It’s probably why Kirk was so convinced that he could cause a turn around at the end. He’s not good, but he’s still more good than anyone else on that ship. Yeah the guy who forcibly mind melded McCoy without consent (and how much we judge that I’ve seen varied but I consider it a horrible invasion of privacy that they shouldn’t have brushed off) is still FAR better than anyone else if that indicates how bad this universe is. Seeing his and Kirk’s interactions was super interesitng as clealry Mirror Spock caught on quickly that something was up, but chose to prolong it until near the end. It’s interesitng to observe. I also just love seeing our four heroes handling the situation. They all act effectivlynd manage to keep up the masqurade very well with only Spock and Marlena figuring it out. It’s one of the more diverse ensembles and I wish they had done more diverse dynamics than here, but it was great to see.

I think my only issues aside form McCoy’s potential trauma being glossed over (though I do love how he insisted on saving Mirror Spock and risk not making it home cause damn it, he’s a doctor no matter what) is how we don’t get to see the four’s mirror selves aside form once, where only Kirk gets a characterization as a cartoonishly violent brute. We hear a few things about them like Mirror McCoy’s sickbay essentially being a torture zone, but that’s it. I guess it was due to only having an hour, but I wish we had gotten to see how Spock’s end of things and how he interacts with them aside form Kirk, which that didn’t amount to much anyways. Ah well, fanon has covered both of these pretty extensively from what I can tell, so I shall settle on that. Still it was an enjoyable episode. I’ve seen better Evil Universe stories (nothing’s gonna beat the Justice Lords from Justice League for me tbf), but still a good one with a good ensemble, good character moments, and a unique threatening situation for our heroes to navigate through.

#9. Amok Time

AKA, the episode that more or less created the Slash Genre as we know it. But we’ll touch ont hat later. For now, one thing that I was really hoping for when I got to Season 2 was learning more about Vulcans and their culture. We knew a few things by then, like certain physiological differences between Vulcans and Humans and of course their logical philosophy. But S2 explored them and their culture more, and this was a big one. Spock is acting uncharacteristically agressive and refuses to explain why. Eventually he reveals that he is undergoign Pon Farr, aka going into heat. Unless he goes to Vulcan and does... ugh... mating and soon, he will die. IDK how they got away with this on a 60’s show, but I ain’t complaining. It does that exploration into Vulcans that I was hoping for. Hell we grt to finally see Vulcan... well a section of it but we still got to see it for the first time! It was interesitng to learn about Pon Farr and the rituals that go into it like how maitng works (weird that the logical Vulcan species has arranged marriages, but whatever) and seeing more Vulcans outside of Spock. It’s the kind of world building that does my heart good~

It had a lot of really good moments. Spock explaining everything to Kirk while trying to keep himself from killing him. Chekov being uttelry done with everything as they keephanging course to and from. Ulcan. Spock inviting not only Kirk to the ‘wedding’, but also McCoy, showing that despite their arguments he undoubtedly considers him a close friend. Hell McCoy imo is the true hero of the episode for being the one to catch that something was worng with Spock and his in-genius plan to fake Kirk’s death to keep his two idiot best friends from killing each other without pissing off any Vulcans. Seriosuly, the man needs all the appreciation in existence. And of course, we have the kal-if-fee where T’Pring (great antagonist BTW, will explore her when ai do an a tual review) forces Kirk against Spock. What ensued, while I fully believ eunintentional, forever generated a whole wave of slash and outright invented the term. While I’m not even close to as into Spirk as others, there is no denying how impactful the ship was to fandom culture and to the LGBT+ community. It is a legavy that I hold respect for since it really gave people like myself creativity and enpowerment for over 50 years, and is still generaitng works even now. That is something to respect.

As for it’s placement... the ending was a litle weird. It felt like they didn’t know how to have Spock cured without him either killing someone or doing hanky panky, so he just... gets over it agter thinking that he killed Kirk. It is a good moment, especially his reaction when he sees that Kirk is alive. That was a very justified emotional response that made me smile... and laugh when he tried to deny it haha. ButI find it hard ot buy that a biological funciton like that just... went away. But ah well. It was still an ejoyable episode with some great Vulcan content, McCoy being an underrated badass, and the moments that slash shippers will forever be grateful for. But speaking of slash...

#8. All Our Yesterdays

Sorry Amok Time, but THIS is the slashiest episode in the whole show. While I didn’t get into Spirk much, I got head over heels for Spones. IDK what it was but their dynamic has always been enjoyable and it just... really drew me in. Most of my favorite moments were between this two like the moment in Bread and Circuses and more I’ll go into later, This is essentially The Spones Episode despite what actually happens. Our heroes are to clear a planet that’s sun is about to go supernova, only to find it already gone. Kirk ends up going through a portal when he hears cries for help and when Spock and McCoy go agter him, they end up in an arctic-like area. They were all sent to different points of th eplanet’s past, Kirk in some old timey point and Spock and McCoy even earlier. Now they have to figure out how to get back and survive their situaitons. Kirk’s plot has nothing special tbh and with a few adjustments could have been written out entirely, hence why this is at 8. But Spock and McCoy? Ho boy, their scenes MAKE this episode.

Spock and McCoy try to survive the harsh conditions, the latter almost dying of severe frostbite. He outright tells Spock to abandon him with Spock being VERY adament that that’s not happening. They’re rescued by a woman named Zarabeth and Spock proceeds to spend most of the episode interacting with her while tending to McCoy. Which he gets VERY touchy feely with the latter. Like... a lot more than normal, which tvh the whole seaosm felt that way between those two if what I said about The World is Hollow... counts for anything. Now he DOES end up ‘falling’ for Zarabeth, but there’s a reason for that. Spock is regressing to how his ancestors acted at the time, which was like ‘barbarians’. When amcCoy starts to realize that something’s wrong, it leads to two very intense but really well done scenes with McCoy using logic against Spock to make him realize that he’s lost himself. And while Spock pretty much gave up greitng home due to all of this, McCoy refuses with or without him, even outright going back into the storm to find the portal because damn it, he wants his life back. Then when we find out that Spock and McCoy HAVE to go back together or not at all, it doesn’t take Spock even a second to decide to leave Zarabeth behind. It’s sad because Zarabeth will die a cold, lonely death and she cdoesn’t deserve that at all, so it’s bittersweet. But man next to the katra thing int he films, IDT it gets more symbolic than that.

Like I said, Kirk’s scenes in the past are the only real issue I have since aside form explaining a few things about he situation, feel like they’re just there so that Kirk can still be in the episode prominently. I had some problems with Spock’s OOC behavior, but that got an explanation and has some credibility with how Vulcans are psychically linked. Would explain why McCoy and Zarabeth never seemed to regress. But it was still a good episode with great Spock and McCoy scenes, we FINALLY git a snow environment after forever (and a time travel plot to boot), and a bittersweet but nice ending. Seriously when Spock and McCoy make it back safely and Kirk just touches them on their shoulders in relief is such a nice moment. God I love those three~! Season Three wasn’t a strong season but it still had it’s standouts, and this was very much one of them for me. But I AM biased cause Spones, so take that for what it’s worth!

And that’s enough for now. The last seven will be in another post. Thank you for reading everyone~!

Image Source: TrekCore TOS Gallery

[smutfornerds]

View From The Top // Ray x Reader

A/N: Well we can thank two of my wonderful Wells children @jay-wells-writes / @cutebutpsycho83 and @cursed-ocs / @fir3flies-light-up-my-sky for this one! I was stuck and asked one of them for a plot line and one for a character. (She gave me a top three tbf, and I picked Ray cause he fit the best with this lil carnival theme.) Also, I’m opening my writing to the full LoT crew now that I’m mostly caught up. So feel free to send requests for any Legends! Enjoy cuties!!

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“Oh come on it isn’t THAT high!” Ray’s voice hollered over the whirring engines of the carnival rides you were surrounded by as he gestured to the towering ride. It had been your idea to take the jumpship to a carnival in the early 2000’s, but solely for the pursuit of the various fried foods. As much as Gideon tried there was just no way to replicate the taste of a fresh elephant ear. Ray had tagged along under the guise of keeping you safe and out of trouble but you both knew it was really for the rides and the games, and the overall atmosphere of acting like a big carefree kid. Admittedly it had been a wonderful break from the ever present tension on the Waverider, even when he had dragged you through the funhouse full of distorted mirrors and mazes. It wasn’t long until he was tugging your hand along through all the rides; he’d made absolute sure Gideon fabricated perfect ticket pass bracelets to ensure maximum fun. Once he’d gotten the memo that any rides that spun in circles or went upside down were a hard no after all the greasy corn dogs and fried food, Ray scanned the horizon over all the much shorter heads of running and screaming kids until you saw his whole face light up. Turning his back to you he motioned for you to hop onto him, and the giggle that escaped you when he gripped onto your thighs tugged a sly smirk onto his face. He maneuvered the two of you through the sea of sugar-loaded little tyrants until he stopped confidently before the massive Ferris wheel. Bending his knees to help you hop down, he caught the look in your eyes and sighed, even rolling his eyes teasingly before he spoke.

“Not that high?! It’s like, at least two stories.” You paused to eye the structure, shuddering just slightly as it creaked with movement. “Maybe even three.” The pout you adorned was enough to make Ray groan, which he did. He tucked a finger under your chin to bring your gaze back to his towering figure instead of the ride. “You’ll be with me, you’ll be the safest person at this fair.” As he spoke he patted his chest pocket with his free hand, tapping the case to his Atom suit and sending you a small wink. A pink tint rose to your cheeks at the gesture and you averted your gaze, nervously tucking your hair behind your ear. Before you could change your mind you sighed defeatedly and snatched Ray’s hand back, this time lacing your fingers between his and squeezing a bit. “Fine but I’m not opening my eyes at the top.” You tugged him behind you, almost causing him to fumble over his feet but he trailed at your heels to the short waiting line. To his surprise you hadn’t released your grip, but he wasn’t about to complain. Ray sported a proud grin the few times other passing males would check you out and then notice that you were on his arm. The idea of having you to himself was beyond enticing, and the closer the two of you got to the head of the line the further his mind would wander. Once you reached the ride operator he asked for your wristbands, and on instinct both of you lifted your locked hands to show the red strips of paper. The attendee waved you through, this time however Ray tugged you along with him and pulled you tightly to his side once you were locked in the covered cage. For a moment you sat there pressed to his side, looking around at all the extra space to be had. The little compartment could’ve fit half the Legends and yet here the two of you sat, not a hair of space between you. Thinking nothing of it Ray let his arm settle around your shoulders just as the ride started back up. The slight jolt of the cart moving up made you gasp and startle a bit, turning yourself into Ray’s embrace. You hadn’t realized just how much you’d jumped into his arms until you looked up to see his face a fraction of an inch from yours. Instead of a shocked or panicked look he wore an amused expression, and he began rubbing his arm along your shoulder and arm to soothe you a bit. “I told you you’ll be fine. I’m right here, and we aren’t even at the top yet.” He nodded in gesture over the side of the cart, and you glanced to see yourself level with the roofs of a few surrounding buildings.

After a few forced deep breaths and the continued comforting touch to your skin, you’d relaxed more against Ray’s chest just as the ride slowed to another stop. You couldn’t help but tense up at the way the ride lurched, causing the cable car to rock just slightly. “Oh I hate that you made me do this..” You whined over to him, closing your eyes tightly as to not look around anymore. A soft chuckle beside you made you raise a brow above your still shut eyes. “What’s so funny? Heights happen to be one of the more rational fears, because it’s not—“ “Actually the height that you’re afraid of, it’s falling.” He spoke over you with your exact words and that got you to pop an eye open. “Yeah..” You muttered slowly. After giving him a quick once over you squeezed your eyes shut again before the ride began to move higher. A small squeak escaped you at the way the car was rocking now, and you went to curl into Ray only to find his arms outstretched to his sides and his feet planted firmly and perfectly positioned to rattle your own personal hell from side to side. Your eyes went from tight lines to moon-sized orbs in seconds flat. “Ray, please—“ Again the ride halted and but your cart kept swinging with every push of force Ray gave. “RAYMOND! Please stop!” Sending a smack to his shoulder you were surprised when his hand pinned your own to his chest, forcing you to fall on top of him in the process. Again his expression read amused, but this time there was more heat behind his eyes and the tilt of his smirk was just a bit off to be the innocently playful grin he usually adorned. With your eyebrows raised as high as could be, your mouth fell open and closed as you attempted to speak. “Wha— I don’t-.. Uhm..” A lump had formed in the back of your throat that was inhibiting your ability to form words let alone full thoughts.

Ray let out a low chuckle and brought his hands to your sides, guiding you to sit up but never letting you leave his lap. On instinct you settled your legs on either side of him, straddling him and letting your hands fall from his chest to rest on his torso. Absentmindedly you traced the outline of his abs through the fabric of his shirt, all the while your gaze trailing up his arms to finally meet his eyes again. “You know we’re almost to the top?” Pressing his thumbs a bit more into your hipbones, Ray began to knead soft circles into your skin. The simplest of actions forced a huff of air from your lungs, which you played off as best you could as a reaction to his words and not his touch. Like the genius he was however, he saw right through you and kept the action up as he shifted beneath you. He positioned himself more upright, simultaneously forcing you to press tighter to his chest and lap. He ran his hands up your back for a moment, a reassuring gesture of comfort as the cart stopped again, not quite reaching the top just yet. Still your words were stuck in your throat so you simply cleared it, bringing a hand up to the back of Ray’s neck. “Didn’t you say something about..” Before he could continue he stole a quick kiss, keeping a hand in the small of your back and another pressing your chest tightly to his to keep you close. “Keeping your eyes closed at the top?” A chill ran over your skin bringing goosebumps to the surface, and you nodded at his innuendo of a question. That same devilish smirk coiled his lips and he nuzzled the tip of his nose against yours as his hands traveled down your back again to rest just above your ass. “I could definitely help you out with that.” Punctuating the sentence with a playful squeeze to your rear made you giggle softly, and you watched the way Ray’s eyes softened the slightest bit seeing you smile. Nibbling the corner of your lip, you wiggled yourself a bit in his lap until you’d scooted back enough to see the button of his jeans. Without a word you brought a hand down and popped them open, watching the way the male’s brows rose at such a forward action. “Better hurry up then,” You paused to lower his zipper and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect as the Ferris wheel began rolling the two of you higher. “We’re almost to the top.” Tilting your head playfully you tugged at his jeans, and that was all Ray needed to hear.

In a matter of seconds he lifted you with one arm and pinned you to his chest, the other hand tugging his jeans and briefs down enough to free himself. A long sigh left the scientist as the cool evening air hit his already growing length. You couldn’t help but lick your lips seeing him like this, and Ray was never one to miss little things. He watched your tongue trail across your lips and whined out, settling you back into his lap only to grab the hem of your tee shirt and tug it over your shoulders. Never had you been more thankful that you’d worn fabric shorts, as Ray got the very idea you had to simply push the fabric aside so he could enter you. He locked an arm tightly around the bend of your waist as his other hand guided his length to your entrance. He gave a few slow warm up thrusts up into you before you took the reigns, settling yourself down onto him fully in one slow move. His raven haired head fell back against the seat, a gravelly moan making its way up from deep in his chest. The hand he’d used to guide himself stayed between you, slipping his fingertips to your clit with ease. Before you’d even began bouncing he was flicking at your clit rapidly, and your body reacted before you even could. Your hips snapped up and forward before giving out a moment later, forcing you to slick yourself up and nearly off his length and then right back down, much harder and faster than anticipated. Ray let out another guttural noise and this time it was matched with your own high pitched whining. Hearing such sultry noises come from your lips Ray shuddered, capturing them in a heated and fervent kiss as the ride halted just two clicks from the very top. The cable car rocked again as it stopped and Ray took the momentum to thrust harshly up into you, another strained and breathless moan leaving your occupied lips.

Quickly you began bouncing yourself on him, hitting your inner core with each motion and spilling a string of mewls and whimpers into Ray’s awaiting and hungry mouth. He kissed you like the only air he could get would come from you, and his hips bucked up to meet yours with every thrust. Your cart hadn’t stopped rocking since the ride had paused, and again it lurched forward and only aided in your movements. The world around you was all but imaginary at this point what with your mind only being able to focus on Ray. His one hand was gripping deeply into your hip while the other was dripping with your mess from relentlessly circling your clit. Your legs began to twitch and threaten to give out, but you didn’t dare stop. At this point you were desperately chasing your climax. Feeling Ray’s length brushing and ramming into your core was tightening the knot inside you by the second, and when he started rubbing furious zig zags across your clit you were gone. A loud screech of a cry erupted from you and your body curled forward as you came. With how you shook your body kept bouncing atop Ray, even when your face burrowed into his neck and your eyes screw closed to see stars behind your lids.

Finally placing his sticky hand onto your opposite hip Ray took over the rhythm, holding you still a few inches above him only to rail up into you at his own rough pace. You couldn’t stop the helpless and shaky whimpering that left your lips as he pounded into your sensitive center. Every nerve felt ten times as charged as you attempted to come down from your first release, but with how Ray was relentlessly thrusting there was no way you could control where your body was headed. You couldn’t speak, you couldn’t warn him other than the ways your body involuntarily did. Instead you clung to his shoulders letting your nails dig slightly at his skin. Ray hissed through gritted teeth at the sting, but it only made him fuck deeper into you. Another broken scream cracked at your vocal chords and this time you let your jaw hang open, your lips brushing the skin of his collar bone as your upper body writhed against him. Ray groaned out, his thrusts becoming more erratic as his hips twitched. He gripped even tighter to your hipbones, his fingertips digging at your skin the same way yours were his shoulders, leaving matching marks. Letting your lips sink into his skin you suckled at his collar bone, attempting to stifle the moaning and whimpering he was pulling out of you. Ray’s arms had began to tense around you, his breathing raggedier by the second as the ride rattled to another stop and aided his final deep thrust.

A loud grunt bubbles up Ray’s throat and out into the cool air as he filled you with his release. The angle of his deepened thrust hit you just right and triggered your second and final orgasm, your body convulsing against Ray’s as his arms tightened to hold you close against his chest. The pair of you sat together panting for a few solid moments, before you began peppering kisses across his chest. A soft chuckle left him before letting out a small strained groan as he sat up, arm still securing you in a tight embrace. You didn’t stop your assault of kisses until he nudged you, bringing your gaze to his still slightly glazed over eyes. “So..” He states gently, pressing his forehead to yours. A gentle giggle trickled to his ears like music and he matched it with another low murmur of a laugh. “So.. thanks for the much needed distraction.” As you spoke you mindlessly trailed a fingertip down his chest and torso. He brought a hand to meet yours and lace your fingers together, the same way you had when getting in line. Matching smiles curved across each of your faces and he broke them by stealing yet another kiss. Pulling back he handed you your top with his free hand, and pouted when you actually put it back on. However you stayed comfortably in his lap, his lowering hard on still pressed against your now throbbing center. “Might I add that while you’re the best view, this one ain’t half bad.” He pointed over your shoulder and without thinking you turned, only to be greeted by a vast cityscape and a half-set sun. The tops of two story buildings met your eyes along with ant-sized-looking pedestrians and cars. “Oh- oh my god..” You felt frozen, and Ray simply chuckled and grabbed your chin gently in his hand, turning you back to be met with a slow, sensual, heart melting kiss. His hand stayed cupped to your cheek and his other arm pinned you to his toned chest by your back. His tongue trailed over your lower lip and with no hesitation you parted them to allow him access. Pressing even tighter to him you released a breathless, barely audible moan as he finally pulled his length from your wetness, all the while rolling his tongue skillfully against your own. Before he pulled away the ride began rolling back down, but your eyes stayed closed due to needing to catch your breath.

A few seconds passed and you cleared your throat, blinking a few times as you looked down at a smug and smiling Ray Palmer. Any of the fear or anxiety you’d been feeling floated away with the soft breeze and was replaced by butterflies and comfort. “How you always manage to put a smile on my face will never cease to amaze me.” Resting your hands over his on your legs, you both huffed our soft laughs remembering he was still exposed. As he tucked himself back in the ride halted yet again, and you stood and turned to look out over the horizon now that you were level with small buildings again. Ray poked his head over your shoulder and wrapped his arms around you from behind, pressing a playful bout of kisses to your cheek. Again you giggled at his actions, and brought a hand up to gently cup his face. “So since you forced me into this total deathtrap, you owe me one fuzzy stuffed animal.” Leaning a bit you pecked his nose, gaining a huffed laugh out of it from him. “I’ll have you know I’m a MASTER at the balloon pop race.” He stated matter-of-factly. The wheel rotated a bit further and you huffed a teasing guffaw at his words. “Better put your money where your mouth is Palmer.” You spun to face him, snaking your arms around his torso. “Cause if you want another rendezvous like this one, well, that requires a GIANT fuzzy stuffed animal.” You shot him a wink and he flashed his brows up and down at you playfully. Smiles lit up both your faces before you shared another long and tender kiss, and you sat cozied up for the last few minutes of the ride.

Once your feet hit solid ground again you heaved a hard sigh. Ray couldn’t help but laugh at you, but nonetheless wrapped his strong arm tightly around your shoulders as you walked. You fit so perfectly against his side and rested your arm around his back. “It wasn’t even that bad.” He muttered teasingly. You shot him a glance and squeezed tightly to him. “Oh it was amazing. Beyond amazing, gives me chills just remembering how good it felt..” Glancing out of the corner of your eye you watched for his reaction. “Oh, but the ride sucked.” Not a second later Ray coughed, clearing his throat a bit and patting his chest. “That was good. Good one..” He choked weakly before coughing again, only forcing a fit of laughter to leave you. He gripped snugly to your shoulders as he walked you right up to a game booth, of which all the seats but one were taken. It was a group of small kids and you weren’t about to let Ray obliterate them just for the sake of a stuffy. Glancing up at him you shrugged, ready to let go of the idea of a toy souvenir, but he simply tugged you closer to him with a smirk and mumbled for only you to hear. “Glad heights aren’t an issue anymore, get ready to fly.” With you distracted he’d pulled his Atom suit from his pocket and you could hear the familiar whirring as he booted it up. In a matter of seconds he’d adorned the suit and had latched his arm back around you. Ray took off from the ground with a rush of air, but not before snagging the biggest and fluffiest giant monkey from the booth. A loud squeal left your lips and you clung tightly to Ray as he drifted you through the air and back to the jump ship.

It only took a matter of minutes and you were securely back on the ground. Ray rushed the two of you inside the ship and cloaked it again. Taking a moment to remove the helmet of his suit, he held out the stuffed animal with a wide and proud, toothy smile. Both of you burst into laughter at your antics and you hugged the toy tightly. “Thank you, Ray. Today was much needed.” He waggled his brows at you and you scoffed, landing a small shove to his plated shoulder. “Not just that, I meant the clean fun. And the laughs, and the food.” You grinned and stepped forward, kissing him slowly and with as much feeling behind it as you could muster. You curled a hand into his dark locks, giving a bit of a tug as you pushed onto your toes to deepen the kiss just that much more. Upon pulling away, it was Ray’s turn to be speechless. He stammered silently for a moment before you interrupted him with a laugh. “Okay Gideon, get us back to the Waverider before Sara kills us.” Ray chuckled softly along with you as you sat at the control panel. “When and where are they anyway?” You questioned. A second later Gideon threw up a photo of the exact carnival you’d just left. “2003, Central Washington State Fair. It seems your activity with the jumpship alerted the team of unwarranted time travelers.” You and Ray both exchanged equally confused and worried glances. As if she read your minds, Gideon continued.

“They were tracking any and all time jumps or abnormalities in the timeline. When Dr. Palmer used his suit it gained some attention and, seeing as they were unaware of your absence, they followed this lead. Mr. Heywood and Mrs. Lance are actually a few feet from entering the ship right no—“ The jumpship doors swung open, and Sara stood wielding her throwing stars and Nate in full steel. Both of them rolled their eyes at the sight of the two of you, or perhaps the sight of a bright purple giant stuffed monkey. “Really? We wasted all this time because you two wanted to have a fun-day at the fair?” Sara’s tone rang annoyed and exasperated. Pursing your lips you sighed from your nose. “Sorry..?” You started and her eyes widened. “Let’s go get a funnel cake and some local wine!” You tossed Ray the monkey, not before stealing a taunting kiss. The expressions him and Nate dawned were too priceless to pass up. Sara’s brows rose but the idea of wine was too good for her to pass. “Let me change and we’ll go. You’re SO lucky I love funnel cakes.” She stomped away towards what you could only assume was where they’d left the Waverider. Nate stood staring at Ray, who’s since removed his suit giving way to the skin of his neck. The purple mark you left just barely poked out of his shirt, but Nate’s eyes were too sharp not to notice. He shot a smug and knowing smirk to Ray. “So, did the purple monkey come before or after the purple hickey?” He nodded his head nonchalantly at his best friend, and Ray’s face lit up like a fire truck. You stifled a laugh from behind the two and snuck your way off the jumpship to follow your captain.

[wantlongera]

✩ !!

send ‘✩’ for the following:

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice? kai aka the SHOUTY manWho threatens to leave but never actually does? n OT dolores and yet ? idk, is that something kai does with dolores ? considering he’s like “wow she loves me? what’s This feeling i like it”Who actually keeps their word and leaves? again Not Dolores™Who trashes the house? KAI and then she fucking cleans it upDo either of them get physical? he did? grab her shoulders in that Angsty™ thread we have right?How often do they argue/disagree? honestly probably whenever kai is tired of dolores just? Agreeing to agree w/ whatever he says / whenever he’s like “how do you not realize im garbage yet”Who is the first to apologise? dolores aaaand i hate it!

Sex:

Who is on top? kaiWho is on the bottom? doloresWho has the strangest desires? ew kaiAny kinks? dolores’s are just to be Loved and Cherished™Who’s dominant in bed? kaiIs head ever in the equation? dolores is? Hesitant about bjs she thinks they’re nasty. but maybe? if it was his birthday and he begged (nasty and also? Pathetic) she might try. If so, who is better at performing it? kaiEver had sex in public? NO shes a classy ladyWho moans the most? probably dolores fahfjahjjhbaf she’s loudWho leaves the most marks? kaiWho screams the loudest? kaiWho is the more experienced of the two? kai bc she’s only had sex w/ one man before himDo they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? make love mostly but there’s probably been a time or two it’s been a ‘fuck’ for him at leastRough or soft? both tbhHow long do they usually last? i can see them going for like, half an hourIs protection used? nahDoes it ever get boring? naaaah, kai’s there and i don’t think he’d ever let itWhere is the strangest place they’d have sex? the most dolores would be up for is like, maaaybe the car if it was parked in a place that was guaranteed not to be spotted or intruded

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children? oh god. unfortunately, yes.If so, how many children do your muses want/have? dolores wants like, four children, which means three of them would be kai’s and that terrifies me.Who is the favorite parent? dolores lmaoWho is the authoritative parent? kaiWho is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? kaiWho lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? kaiWho turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? dolores def, and she drags kai whenever he’s freeWho goes to parent teacher interviews? kai probably got banned from them for yelling at the teacherWho changes the diapers? doloresWho gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? doloresWho spends the most time with the children? DOLORESWho packs their lunch boxes? doloresWho gives their children ‘the talk’? oh it’s gotta be kai tbhWho cleans up after the kids? doloresWho worries the most? doloresWho are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? kai

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle? both! i remember you posting a headcanon that kai claims his territory by spooning fjaajfjnakfnjanjafWho is the little spoon? doloresWho gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? k AIWho struggles to keep their hands to themself? kaiHow long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? dolores can go for like, ever, so it’s whenever kai is like ‘i have to get up’.Who gives the most kisses? doloresWhat is their favourite non-sexual activity? cuddlingWhere is their favourite place to cuddle? what better place than bed tbhWho is more likely to playfully grope the other? oh god kaiHow often do they get time to themselves? the saddest thing is probably? not very much? he’s a busy man! he’s on city council (which probs meets like once a week like ok kai) but then he’s got his dumb cult shit going on so

Sleeping:

Who snores? dolores doesn’t, idk if kai does!If both do, who snores the loudest? n/aDo they share a bed or sleep separately? share a bed!If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? cozy up and you know itWho talks in their sleep? oh god i could see kai doing it if he’s having a nightmareWhat do they wear to bed? dolores wears this which? admittedly is not very sexyAre either of your muses insomniacs? i could see kai being one kjafnjkafnjkaCan sleeping pills be found by the bedside? no but kai has a MYRIAD of other pillsDo they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? they’re full out SPOONINGWho wakes up with bed hair? oh god do i want to imagine kai’s greasy ass bed headWho wakes up first? depends on if kai sleeps that night probs. dolores wakes up relatively early though for work (five am babey).Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? doloresWhat is their favourite sleeping position? spooning/cuddlingWho hogs the sheets? kaiDo they set an alarm each night? dolores doesCan a television be found in their bedroom? yesWho has nightmares? kaiWho has ridiculous dreams? kaiWho sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? kaiWho makes the bed? doloresWhat time is bed time? dolores goes to bet at like? nine.Any routines/rituals before bed? oooft dolores has a whole long ass beauty ritual before bed tbhWho’s the grumpiest when they wake up? kai

Work:

Who is the busiest? kaiWho rakes in the highest income? probably kaiAre any of your muses unemployed? nahWho takes the most sick days? neither tbhWho is more likely to turn up late to work? neitherWho sucks up to their boss?What are their jobs? kai is a councilman, dolores is a kindergarten teacherWho stresses the most? kaiDo your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? dolores loves her job, kai seems to enjoy hisAre your muses financially stable? yes

Home:

Who does the washing? doloresWho takes out the trash? doloresWho does the ironing? doloresWho does the cooking? doloresWho is more likely to burn the house down just trying? kaiWho is messier? kaiWho leaves the toilet roll empty? kaiWho leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? kaiWho forgets to flush the toilet? kaiWho is the prankster around the house? eh neither tbhWho loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? eh neitherWho mows the lawn? kaiWho answers the telephone? kaiWho does the vacuuming? doloresWho does the groceries? doloresWho takes the longest to shower? kai bc dolores takes bathsWho spends the most time in the bathroom? kai

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? noHow many cars do they own? two? i assume kai has a car? and dolores inherited leroy’s car after his death.Do they own their home or do they rent? ownDo they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? neitherDo they live in the city or in the country? cityDo they enjoy their surroundings? honestly dolores is pretty nervous living in town because of all the murdersWhat’s their song? n/a bc i haven’t thought of one ripWhat do they do when they’re away from each other? kai’s probably doing his councilman duties/his cult thing, dolores is either at home or at work during the dayWhere did they first meet? his houseHow did they first meet? dolores just knocked on his door uninvited like damn girlWho spends the most money when out shopping? kaiWho’s more likely to flash their assets? kaiWho finds it amusing when the other trips over? oh god hopefully neitherAny mental issues? Y E A H you have the time for a listWho’s terrified of bugs? doloresWho kills the spiders around the house? kaiTheir favourite place? probably their home tbhWho pays the bills? kaiDo they have any fears for their future? yesWho’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? doloresWho uses up all of the hot water? doloresWho’s the tallest? kaiWho’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? kaiWho wanders around in their underwear? kaiWho sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? kaiWho is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? dolores but she would never say itDo they have mutual friends? kai has friends? tbf neither does doloresWho crushed first? kaiAny alcohol or substance related problems? oh ye, kai doesWho is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? kaiWho swears the most? kai

[kangseluigi]

Stream of consciousness I guess dk

I just had a lot of thoughts while being incredibly sad yesterday so lemme just

tumblr deleted my paragraph and won't give it back gvhkjlk but basically I'm just so fucking angry over the audacity of men to think your silence means they are right. Dude, I'm literally just speechless that you have that much confidence in your own stupidity. A dude can see you get dragged to dance class, be put on every diet in the world, get dragged to weight loss programs all week, on top of gym class, AND work out together with you for a year, then stares you in the face and asks "when did YOU ever actually work out????" and when you stare back at him like "!!?!?!?!?!!?!" cause how the FUCK do you not know?? he deadass goes "yeah, exactly!!! See?" Like??? NO?? I don't?! I hate you?!

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But also on a completely different note, I am SO lonely. I have like 2 friends right now I actually, semi-regularly talk to and I am so tired of always relying on them. I already have a phase where I don't really want to talk to my bestie (it's normal, we don't always want to talk, we both have our social-burn out phases or w/e where we just feel too tired and exhausted to talk to each other because we only bring each other down ig, it lasts months sometimes, it's fine, I swear!) and the other one doesn't really want to talk to me or is busy or idk and it sucks cause like, I get it, and I don't want to rely on her too much either, but I literally have no other friends anymore atm, and it's not like I can go out and make new ones lbr. And I don't want to bother her and say "hey I Need help from you" 'cause if she needs a break from me it's deserved, but at the same time, sometimes I DO need help or just someone to talk to, and yesterday sucked so bad but I know that atm she does not read my messages very on time so even begging for help wouldn't do much I guess, but I also don't want to guilt trip her into talking to me or anything?? or force it?

And idk. maybe it's my fault that she doesn't wanna talk to me, because I was too depressed and negative for too long? Maybe she thinks she's gonna get hit with a wall of whining from me if we talk for real? I'd get that, but generally I'm doing so much better, so I really don't know! Maybe it really just is… being busy, being not in the mood. It's just one of those weeks where I wonder if she actually likes me anymore or if she wishes I'd leave her alone, so I'll manipulate it by leaving her alone until she reaches out to me. And it's not that I expect things of her I do not communicate, but how do you say "hey, I'd like to know you a) actually like me b) actually want to talk to me and c) it'd be grand if once in a while you could ask me like…how I am if anything's new, because I make an effort to do that with you and don't feel like that's returned, and I get it, but it'd still be nice" without making things WEIRD?! Our friendship is weird anyway. It's an odd miracle that we became friends in the first place, but while we get along well and have great conversations, we're not the emotional kind with each other. But she also says she's also only got like 3 friends and then is a social butterfly on all social media and idgi

tbf I also don't really want someone to talk to me because they feel they have to, it makes things worse rather than better, which is why I usually just post something here or on twitter going "hey, can someone pls talk to me?" instead of reaching out directly but you know what happens?

Nothing.

Nothing happens at all. no one reaches out and idk why.

I see people interacting with several posts right before and after that one, but not the one where I ask for anyone to just…talk to me. It doesn't have to be deep or meaningful. Just a quick "hey what's up" is enough. You can talk to me about what you ate that day, idc, just let me have some conversation, some social interaction because I am so goddamn isolated, and knowing it all goes ignored is so gutting tbh.

Again, I get that many people might not know what to say, or don't want to deal with someone else's problems but it sucks when you see several people interact with your shit but skip that one

And tbh?

(TW suicide mention/suicidal thoughts, skip to the next line/section if you want)

Another reason I only reach out directly if I know I feel shit but can manage it, somehow, is because if I have any thought that I might relapse in any way, it would be bad for others to see that I begged for someone to reach out and then killed myself when no one did, but ultimately? Everyone would think "shit, why did no one reach out? I was busy/didn't see it/couldn't deal, and that sucks, but why did NO ONE else?" like…people might feel a little shit, maybe regret it, but not feel too guilty. But if I drop you a message, you don't reply on time, and I end up dead, you'd feel directly responsible and that is…not ideal.

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NEW TOPIC

I have …so much trauma? And I don't always know what causes the ptsd. Like

I'll be interacting with a group I enjoy and suddenly I'm mad as hell at them because ????? I'm just suddenly convinced they're all assholes and treat other people like shit or w/e which ??? I mean even if lmao what does that change for *me*? And then as soon as I have that thought I start to question how the once I like can tolerate that behaviour, which I don't even know they actually DO gvfhbwijdlköals what is wrong with me?

I mean, I know it's because my brother abused the shit out of me in many ways and every time I see an average dude weirdly confident in himself and maybe a little too easily pissed off, I get reminded of him on SOME level and suddenly I want to kill all men I GUESS

And maybe it's also because my mother mentioned him callously again, too

but mostly

And this is NSFW-ish and maybe a little too personal but I abandoned all boundaries so: if you don't want to read anything about my sex life, stop here!

I literally only masturbate like…once in a blue moon because I know it increases depression after a while and it sucks for discipline and all that but I just don't understand why sometimes It makes me feel better and i can go on like normal, and sometimes it makes me want to kill myself for the rest of the day.

Does it have to with whether I go to sleep after or stay awake? Does it have to do with which content I consume/what I think about? I DON'T KNOW! Like I know I have trauma and all that, but after years of avoiding it entirely because of that and then getting better and being able to again, I thought we're past that but APPARENTLY NOT!?

I need therapy yo.