#tb imagine

[ellestinyposts]

Hello:))) been reading ur newt hcs and absolutely adored them YOU WRITE HIM SO SWEET. But i was wondering if you would do newt cuddling hcs with a f!reader please? (I haven’t requested for you before so if this isn't the type of thing you do just delete this lol)

thanks<3

hello anon!! i'm happy you like those!! i think that newt is the type of person that treats their s/o gentle !! i hope you like this:))))

Newt who can't keep his hands to himself when you're both cuddling. Newt who would pull you into his chest with your back against him so he can kiss your neck. Newt who would put his arm around your waist just to touch you. Newt who would be crazy and rambles whenever he sees you wear his shirts to cuddle or sleep (and when you ask him why, he says "you look hot- i mean beautiful, wait i didn't mean it like your not hot, cause you are hot, i mean- your hot- wait that's not the point- but you look bloody amazing with my shirt"). Newt who can't sleep without you in his arms. Newt who would be very clingy and glued to you when both of you are alone (he's starved for your attention and affection). Newt who doesn't have a 'favourite cuddle position' but he loves it so much when you rest your head on his chest and just lay there. Newt who runs his fingers through your hair and leave a bunch of kisses all over your face whenever he gets the chance. Newt who sometimes wander his hands underneath your shirt (with consent of course) and he just trace circles all over your skin. Newt who sometimes would just lay in your arms tiredly because he’s exhaused from doing all work, helping around the glade, and having many meetings with Alby and the runners(he's a busy man). Newt who would smell a little more earthy when you guys are cuddling before shower. Newt who prefers to cuddle after shower because he thinks you'll like him more if he smells 'sweet like a candy' when you're both cuddling (he used your soap and shampoo because he said it made him "smell like sweets and vanilla" lol ). Newt who would sleep with you with hardly any space between each other. Newt who loves it when you bury your face in his neck and when you play with his hair. Newt who will always pull you back onto the bed and back into his arms if you try to leave or stop cuddling. ("Newt we have to get up! Alby will be mad at us-" "2 more minutes, please love? i'm sure Alby will be fine without me" "Newt, you said that 20 minutes ago."). Newt who doesn't mind being a big spoon or the little spoon when you're both cuddling. Newt who likes it when his arms are securely around your waist & his face in your hair when he's being the big spoon. Newt's arms will be the place you wake up every morning. Newt who would ask if he can play with your hair every time you're both cuddling (he wants to make sure you're giving him consent even tho you've reassured him that he doesn't need to ask that). Newt who would randomly compliment you when your almost asleep ("your so beautiful. like really bloody beautiful, love"). Newt who would sometimes talk in his sleeps because he gets nightmares when he's cuddling you ("please stay, please. don't go. stay with me." "i'm not going anywhere love"). Newt who would easily get sleepy when you run your hands through his hair. Newt who would fall asleep on top of you, then wakes up only to ask if you're okay, if he made you uncomfortable, and why didn’t you wake him up in his raspy sleepy voice. Newt who would have a staring contest with you and then make stupid faces so you laugh and he wins the contest (later on he tease you about it). Newt who would stay up with you and just have deep conversations as you both cuddle when you can't sleep ("why do people has to lose the person they love first, to realize they're bloody value and worth? doesn't make sense, what do you think?").

I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY MAKING THIS, IT TURNED OUT SO LONGGGG. I'M SORRY IF THIS IS TOO LONG FOR YOU

[cringefail-clown]

turnabout kids and their sprites! ive had an ask laying around in my inbox about them for far too long lmfao, so ive finally decided to draw em out

jane: mime porcelain doll + poppop

dirk: seagull + hal

roxy: wizard figurine + frigglish

jake: gcat + his dreamself

[the-fiction-witch]

I'm Gonna Kill Him

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Angsty Smut!

Requested:

Hello! Before I start, I just wanted to say that I love your book so much! Could you create an imagine or a smut scene from your Jack Dawkins' book where they've broken up, and Y/N visits Jack's place that led them to having a angry/makeup sex? Then, a week later, Y/N discovers she's pregnant with his baby, which ultimately brings them back together.

Warnings : angst / angry sex, cheating, slapping, spanking, choking, biting,

I didn't want to go back, I felt like I was never going to hear the end of it. 

But I want my damn book back. 

So I got myself dressed into my black and emerald dress doing my utmost to look beautiful and glamorous, If I have to see him then god damn it he's gonna have to look at me like I'm a princess. 

I finished up and headed out into town making sure I was seen, making a point to be seen by men until I reached the hospital. I headed in proudly seeing the usual bustle of nurses and patience.

"Ohh Miss Y/n, Dr Dawkins is in his room" Hetty smiled as she saw me

"Thank you Hetty" I smiled 

"He has said he didn't want you in there miss y/n" 

"I'm well aware of what he wants." I rolled my eyes as I headed up to his room not even bothering to knock simply opened the door and saw Jack lying on his bed fiddling with a coin between his fingers, he looked up and looked annoyed 

"Ohh. What do you want?"

"You know exactly what I want. Where is it?"

"I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about" 

"Where is my book, Jack?"

"How should I know?"

"I left it here, I missed it when I was packing, I know you have it, where is it?"

"Why would I want your mouldy old book? I don't have it." He snapped getting up from his bed

"I know you do, you're just keeping it to be hurtful"

"Hurtful! I'm not the one who went bloody psycho !"

"PSYCHO!"

"You heard me!"

"I wasn't the one who violated the sanctity of a union"

"Ohh here we go again! I didn't violate anything!"

"You liar!"

"At least she didn't kick me out of bloody bed in the morning!"

"So you admit it!"

"Yeah fine, I admit it! does that soothe your ego princess!" 

Immediately I slapped him across the face and he didn't even flinch 

".... I will never hit a woman. But your making it really fucking tempting!"

"Ohh go on then you scrawny little shit I'd like to see you try!"

"I was a naval officer you think I can't take a little lady in a fight!"

"Officer! Like hell, you only were because you sat on the right laps!" 

"How dare you!" He yelled, "You repugnant little witch!"

I went to slap him again but he grabbed my wrist before I could throwing my arm back

"Ohh you gonna hit me with your parasol too?" He glared 

"You are an unbelievable bastard! I can't believe I-"

"You what?"

"I can't believe I even considered us for a moment!"

"Yeah well same here! I dodged a bloody bullet. I'd have spent my life stuck married to you!"

"Ohh I'd have made your life a living hell every second of it just for the thrill of it!"

"You would wouldn't you! you'd have turned me into some little pitiful house husband just to spide me wouldn't you!" 

"I would I'd have torn you down so low you'd be looking up to kiss my feet!" I yelled "And I'd have taken pleasure in it you evil man! treacherous! fuckwit!"

He grabbed my waist and pulled me into a kiss, I was so very angry with him, I wanted to slap him off me but I didn't want to kiss him back I wanted to win! I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of my submission, So I kissed him with force, trying to take control, but he would not allow that so easily forcing his tongue down my throat but I argued with him even at this moment battling with him in a war of our tongues, I grabbed his shirt desperate for control but he grabbed my waist and unlaced my dress, making quick work of it given his quick nibble surgeons fingers, I didn't want him to win so I began unbuttoning his trousers, once undone he grabbed my waist and forced me down onto the bed But I grabbed his hips and forced him down flat on the mattress 

"Don't you even think about it!" He groaned flipping us over so I was under him 

"I refuse to be under such a bastard." I gritted my teeth 

"You can ride me if you wish." 

"Not on your life." 

"Open your legs, Or I'll bend you over it's up to you." 

"Maybe I'll bend you over."

"You would you little succubus!"

"Well, how else was I meant to keep up with you!"

"You always did you were a little Fucking whore for me" He growled forcing off my dress "God damn it you are an evil, conniving, little witch but god had to give you that fucking body didn't he!" 

"He didn't have to make you such an unreasonable, arrogant, illiterate, Imbosile but here we are" I smirked clawing as his shirt 

"And we both know what he gave me to make up for that" He growled pulling his suspenders off his shoulders and forcing off his shirt as he pulled me into another aggressive kiss I clawed down his chest almost drawing blood as he forced me on my knees, 

"Don't even think about it, Jack!" I glared but he forced my hips up to his and dug his nails into my ass

"I'll do much more than think about it" he smirked pushing off his trousers and forcing himself inside me, 

as much as I hated it, my anger bubbling in my bones, but... I moaned as I had missed the feeling of him inside me, he didn't waste a single moment starting his fast and angsty thrusts, pounding into me like his life utterly depended on it, I moved my hips back trying to take control but I think it was a little late for that even so I made sure to force him into the pace I wanted which only frustrated him more, the bed creaking and squeaking, his violent grunts and groans much the sounds one would make in a fight tumbling from behind me until he began to slow his breaths getting looser 

"That all you got little boy?" I smirked moving myself 

"I. Am. Not. A boy!" He groaned grabbing my hair and pulling on it to bring my ear to his lips "Don't make have to teach my succubus a lesson!" He growled bitting on my shoulder 

"Ughhhhhh! Uhhhhh!" I squealed given his pace didn't stop his angle hitting where I needed "You whore so bad you missed me this much?!" 

"Missed you? You know what I did I missed your pussy princess I've got it just how I love it. But we wanna talk about who missed who, who came here showing off like she was the fucking queen all for her little fucking book back"

"and you caved this quickly? I thought you had more resilience than that Jack?"

"Not around you I don't" He smirked moving a hand to rub my clit 

"Uhhhhhh!" I gasped and he forced me back down onto the pillow "See I knew you missed me" I gasped 

"You can't blame me for missing a pussy I've fucked for the last two years. took a long time to get you this good." 

"Like I didn't train you" I smirked "Jack please-"

"Yeah? you need me that bad you had to come see me?" he cooed "Cause you know I'm the only person in port victoria who can make you cum"

"I can do it myself then I don't have to deal with your bloody ego!"

"fine, then I'll stop-" He smirked going to sloe

"Don't you fucking dare Jack!" I groaned forcing him to move quicker until I almost ripped his sheets as I screamed reaching my high 

"fuck you sound good like that" He groaned "I could almost put up with your shit for that noise" 

"I bet you could" I smirked forcing us over so he was down on his back 

"I knew you couldn't resist" He smirked

"You dare I will slap that smirking face of yours" I warn moving to ride him as aggressively as possible 

"UGhhhhhhhh fucking- you evil little thing"

"shut up Jack," I warn bouncing and moving mercilessly on him 

"Come on then princess make me cum" He smirked 

"I said shut up!" I yelled wrapping my hands around his neck to slightly choke him 

"UUughhhhhhhhhh!" he groans "Fuck-" He gasped his hips bucking like crazy as he buried himself inside of me so I pulled my hands back and caught my breath "Fine. I admit it. I've missed you" he gasped 

"Fine. I missed you too." I sighed climbing off him and going to get my dress but he grabbed me and pulled me back into the bed so he could cuddle me my head on his chest 

"Now you have... all of that out of your system, and have had time to pout. am I allowed to actually explain myself?"

"What's there to explain, you fucked her Jack. Plain and simple, what do you have to explain?"

"Will you listen anyway?" He asked stroking my hair 

"Fine. If you want to waste your breath."

"She has a problem"

"ohh I bet she did-"

"No. Listen. shut your mouth a while and listen to what I'm saying." he snapped "She has a problem, a medical problem, inoperable, incurable, she'll be dead within the month if not sooner" he explained quietly as he gently pets my hair "She was an innocent"

"was she? I bet she told you that." I said back almost in a whisper 

"Y/n. I swear to you, she told me, in confidence that she was an innocent, given the state of her condition she accepted her death and had began to make arrangements for the future,"

"And where do you come into all this?"

"I'm her doctor. I've been treating her. She asked me to... she said of all the things in this world that she will miss, she wanted to feel the touch of a man just once in her life." He whispered "So I did, Yes I fucked her. Should I have done it... I don't know. But do I regret it? No. would I do it again, I frankly don't know. I'm not sure I would If I'd have known I'd lose you because of it."

"Why you? She could have asked many, barely a man in Port Victoria that wouldn't want to fuck a virgin."

"Because I'm her doctor, and I was engaged. She trusted me. She didn't want to be used like some old whore she wanted to feel loved, and she knew she could trust me because I'm her doctor, and she wouldn't leave a man utterly in love with her behind, because she knew I loved you."

"Is that true?"

"Why would I lie to you now? you've already left me."

"why didn't you just tell me that?"

"Because I fucked another woman plain and simple... you didn't want to listen and it would only dig myself deeper if I did" 

"...it wasn't what you did Jack."

"No?"

"No. I just wish you'd have told me first."

"What?" he asked sitting up  a little 

"If you had come to me, and told me about her, about her illness, about what she had asked of you. I'd have allowed it." 

"No, you wouldn't-"

"I would. Because it is a kind thing to do Jack, if I was dying I'd have asked you too. I wish you had come and asked me, I'd have allowed it, but instead, I had to find out afterwards, from Sneed of all people not even you, that you broke my trust."

"I know, I was just worried you'd be angry if I told you." 

"I was more angry you didn't"

"That's fair." He nods "I fucked up, and I know that. it doesn't matter now... She's dead anyway."

"What?"

"Passed away this morning." 

"I'm sorry Jack-"

"It's fine. she doesn't have to suffer anymore. I'm happy, I could make her final days somewhat enjoyable"

"You're kind, and sweet when you want to be" 

"I am sorry. Believe me."

"Well... it doesn't matter now does it."

"I guess not." he sighed "She didn't even call me Jack."

"No?"

"No. Just Doctor Dawkins" He chuckled 

"Did you use her name?"

"I did. I wanted to make her feel loved... But I thought of you." He whispered kissing my forehead 

"You did?"

"I did. I imagined her body as yours, her voice as yours," He said "You know you're the only girl who can satisfy me. so I thought of you"

"... I don't know if that makes me feel better or worse." I sighed 

"Y/n..."

"Yes, Jack?"

"Is there, any possibility, no matter how slim? That, you and I may... rekindle even a portion of what we had before?" 

"I doubt it, Jack." I said moving to see his face "I will always love you, but I can't forgive you." 

"Could I do anything for you to forgive me?"

"No. Once trust is broken... like a delicate vase chattered, the pieces may be placed back, but you will always see the crack." I explained "Who's to say... another girl, in a similar state, asks the same of you, I cannot trust that you wouldn't do it again"

"... I understand." he nods "And I am sorry. I will always love you, you know that. No matter what you do, or say, my heart will always be yours." 

"And Mine yours." I smiled giving him a sweet kiss "I should go." I said climbing out the bed and starting to get dressed again 

"I don't know what I'm gonna do without you," he said as he watched me dress 

"I'm sure you shall find ladies to spend of the evening." 

"It's not the evening that worries me, it's the mornings, and the middays, and the afternoons, and the middle of the nights, a fuck is a fuck, but when you cum it's over, with you... every moment and all of it felt like heaven" 

"Well, such are the consequences of your actions." I sighed "Now? my book."

He rolled his eyes sitting up slipping his trousers on and pulling my book from under his mattress 

"Thank you" I snapped taking it back "A reason you kept it?"

"...reminds me of you." 

"You always complained you couldn't read it. my stupid spider scrawl handwriting"

"I can't. but I know what it says... when I read it, chasing the words around the page I- I heard your voice reading it to me" 

for a moment I felt teary "Keep it." I said handing back the book 

"No." he said pushing it back into my hand and kissing my lips in a soft and gentle way "Please don't labour me with memories of you." 

"Alright," I nodded "Goodbye Jack."

"Goodbye Y/n" He nods fighting back his tears 

I took my book and I left heading home. 

I sat in bed fresh as the morning sun, unable to bring myself to rise just yet, I turned and saw my book on my bedside table and I thought of him, for a moment all our nights of enthroned passion returned, I thought of our last night together over a month ago now of angst and anger, I thought of how he held me that night, how he kissed me still with all the love that he had always done so, 

I thought of the most wonderful moments, Of how his head would settle in my lap after the day's work, I would twist and knot my fingers in his golden locks, he would press a kiss to my thighs, and I would read to him, all that I had written, and he would offer me suggestions of words that suited better, listing synonyms for me to replace the overused words. 

I forced such thoughts away and sat myself up checking the day on my calendar I knew what to expect today pulling back my covers but- they were as white as sheep. This couldn't be? I was late already. I tried not to allow panic to set in given my typical irregularities.

"Miss I have brought your you porridge with honey" The maid smiled as she came through with my breakfast but the simple smell was enough

"Out." I demanded throwing my head off my bed to upturn my stomach into the bucket I had left there, and she scurried away. "No... No this can't be possible." I forced myself up and over to my mirror pulling back my nightie to expose my stomach it didn't look any different or maybe it did... I don't know. and the memory of that night flooded into my mind, of him finishing burying himself inside me as I rode him, "No... no no no.... I'm gonna kill him..." I whined grabbing my dress and hurrying as fast as my feet could to the hospital rushing up to his room without a word. But I froze up as I saw his door- 

to think of all that had happened, How I stormed out, I'd returned once and clearly that was an awful mistake I- didn't exactly feel thrilled I was returning yet again. but I knocked and soon enough he pulled it open.

"Oh, its you. What can I do for you?" He asked fixing his waistcoat

"I need you." I told him rushing into his room

"Uhh okay" He nods shutting his door with a wicked smile "So... Shall I repeat our last night my darling?"

"No." I snapped "I need your... medical, Intervention"

"my medical intervention?"

"Yes."

"You realize patients have to wait in the waiting room you know, you can't just come up to a doctor's bedroom to get seen faster, even if it is you."

"Jack. Please." I told him fear in my voice tears in my eyes and he melted his own panic set in 

"What is it?"

"I am... so very scared Jack."

"Alright just sit down, tell me what's wrong," he said helping me to sit on his bed 

"My monthly time is late."

"Alright, well such thing can happen you have been stressed these few weeks" He explained nervously pacing around his room as I spoke 

"Over a month."

"Perhaps simple change in your cycle" 

"I have been vomiting." 

"A bad fish may have simply turned your stomach," he said his fear growing as he too was coming to the conclusion I had already suspected but he didn't want it to be true, he didn't want to believe me, 

"My waist grows... Inch by inch. Almost weekly. gaining speed steadily"

"Bloating. could simply-"

"Jack. I might be pregnant." 

"You might." He nods "It could be a million other-"

"I. Might be pregnant." I told him getting to my feet "By the grace of god I need to know." 

"I'd need to track your cycle completely, and I don't have that information."

"You had it as up to date as I did until I left and I haven't bleed since so-"

"Well, how do I know what you've been doing?" He glared So I slapped him and he adjusted his jaw a little "How am I to know who the father is?"

"You." I said and the colour drained from his skin "I have never been touched by another man as long as I have lived. If I am pregnant... It is yours. or it is gods." 

"It can't be mine. I always-"

"Not always, Our last evening together..."

"Fuck-" He gasped "I have thought of that night a hundred times, your right. I didn't"

"So, Doctor. What do we do?" 

"I need a rabbit." He sighed 

I had to return to the hospital, to Jack twice daily once in the morning, once at night and each day, for three days, and I had to drink a whole jug of water and well... expel it. and this was the final time. 

"There, Now will we know?" I asked 

"Yes. we should do" He said as he took it in a firm needle "shhh shhh there's a good girl" He cooed to the little rabbit on the table, I had since after all these days named her hoppy, and he injected her "Five minutes" he said 

"I do not understand how these things work" I sighed 

"You want me to explain?"

"Not really."

"Fair enough." He said turning to his tools a moment and grabbing a large knife 

"Jack- What are you doing!"

"Finding out" He began moving quickly to-

"No!" I yelped stopping him "Jack! that's barbaric." 

"I have been injecting her with your urine for the last three days, if her ovaries are enlarged and she has gone into heat then you are pregnant, if she hasn't you are not."

"Is there no way to check without killing her?"

"No. now do you want to know or not?" 

"There must be a simpler way."

"Yes, there is. we wait nine months and see if a baby pops out of you."

"You know we can't do that. but that doesn't mean I allow you to butcher an innocent animal"

We both stopped a moment as hoppy moved a little and began humping the blanket she sat on aggressively 

"I'd say she's in heat"

"I need to check. for sure."

"Fine" I sighed 

"I'll be quick, painless" he said making quick work of killing the poor thing before then cutting it open to examine her 

"And?"

".... her ovaries are Enlarged. Extremely so. She is in heat." He said dropping his knife on the table 

"So..."

"You're pregnant." 

"... I see." I nodded my hands settling on my stomach in absolute fear but Jack took my face in his hand and sweetly kissed me sending blood across my skin, till he pulled back stroking his nose on mine as he always used to

"This is the happiest news you could have given me."

"Happy? Jack, I am pregnant out of wedlock. My father will banish me, society will crucify me, and our child will suffer as a bastard all of its life." I explained, "What am I to do?" 

"I know exactly what you are to do. Take back my ring."

"What?"

"Take back my ring, return our lives to how they were, before my mistake, marry me by the end of the week and we, can raise our child together. As husband and wife," 

"We cannot-"

"Why not?"

"I already told my father of our cancelled engagement"

"Then tell him it was nothing but a lovers tiff. and that all is as it was." He said "I still love you, I still want us to be together, I still want to marry you. and I want us to raise our child together. Please. You cannot expect me to let you go again, I made that mistake once letting you walk away from me, I am not foolish enough to allow it again, especially not while my child grows in your womb" 

"You can not simply expect me to trust you again Jack."

"I'm not. I'm asking you to let me earn it back." He said, "Please Y/n." 

"Yes" I gasped

"You-"

"Yes Jack."

"Y/n... my darling" He cooed pulling me back to his lips. 

[islayhawkin]

Savior

Jack dawkins x f!reader

Summery: you get hurt and jack does everything in his power to save you

Request: i loooooove your writing and i was wondering if you could do a htc with jack dawkins, maybe reader gets hurt and he had to operate & just them after xxx

A/N: ahh thank you so much! I'd never miss a chance to write angst and hurt/comfort 😌 Jack is one of the most unfamiliar characters for me right now so I‘m still trying to figure him out but I‘m happy that you guys seem to like it

Warnings!: blood, wounds, surgeries (basically everything that happens in the show too)

Angst, hurt/comfort

It had been a usual work day at the hospital for jack. Almost boringly so. Nothing really seemed to happen. No surgeries were planned. Only patients with some problem or another. That was until you came falling into his arms in the evening. Literally.

You stumbled into the hospital door with a hand on your bleeding abdomen. Your breath was heavy and you tried to blink the nauseous feeling away but had to hold yourself up against the wall. It left a bloody print on it but you didn‘t notice as you staggered over to Jacks room.

It wasn’t really logical to aim for Jacks room since he probably was still at work in the hospital but it was the first place you could think of. Lucky for you, Jack turned the corner into the hall and discovered you slumping against the wall.

His heart almost came to a stop at the sight before starting to bound out of control again. He ran over to your side with long strides and quickly wrapped his arm around your waist to holy you upright. His hands were shaking.

"What happened?" His accent was thicker than usual, panicked.

"Stabbed." You breathed out, barely getting the word out.

Jack cursed under his breath and quickly took action. He pulled his neckerchief from his neck and pressed it against the wound earning ragged breaths from you.

"Apologies. Press it." He ordered firmly. You had never seen him quite so stern with you. But Jack had no time for gentle words, he had to act quickly.

He swiftly picked you up bridal style with his hand in the crook of your knee and carried you over to the operation table. Meanwhile he screamed for Hetty or any nurse or help nearby for that matter.

You hang limply in his arms. Though you tried to follow his order to press the cloth against your abdomen, it was difficult to mentain the strength in your arm.

The feeling of your limp body against him didn't help Jacks panic. It wasn't as if the wound seemed so gruesome. He had seen and operated a lot more but this was different. It was you.

Usually he went into surgeries with ease. He put on a show for the audience, operate with steady hands and show off a bit. Now he wasn't even sure if he could do it.

It was his heart that looked at you not his brain. But he needed to push through and shut his heart off for a moment.

Jack pushed some things roughly from the operation table, which made a clattering sound as the stuff hit the floor.

At last Hetty rushed into the room too and her eyes widened at the sight before her. She knew what you meant to him.

Jack looked up briefly as she entered. "We need to check for any interanal demage immediately, then sew it close."

With quick fingers Jack pucked up his gear and sat it on the side table.

"Are you sure you are in a position to perform this surgery dr dawkins?" Hetty asked hesitantely.

"I have to." Jack snapped at her.

"Jack..." you whispered trying to catch his attention.

His eyes flew to yours and what he saw in them broke him. You were afraid. Terrified. He felt as if you were afraid of him. He was gonna cut you open, he was going to hurt you. But he needed to.

He swallowed. "It'll be okay love. I promise. I'm going to have to operate on you now but you will not feel anything." He tried to reassure you. Desperate to get that terrified look off of your face.

You searched him with your hand and gripped onto his pants. You needed some kind of closure to him. He understood and took your hand in his. Giving it a reassuring squeeze. There was blood smeared everywhere on your hands but that didn't matter.

He held a mask over your mouth with his other hand. "Just breathe. You'll feel nothing." He whispered.

That's the last thing you remembered before you slipped into a sweet sleep.

The moment you were out jack immediately went into action and took the scalpel from hettys hand. His hand trembled slightly and he pinched his fingers together in a attempt to get it under control.

It felt so wrong to hurt you. Of course he knew that he was just saving you. He did that on a daily basis. But your delicate form usually snuggled up against him, the one he was made to protect, to cut with a knife made him almost feel it on his own skin.

Hetty gave him a concerned look but didn't say anything else. He tried to focus on the task at hand and definately not look at your face. He had to take short breaks where he leaned on the desk and breathed deeply in and out but in the end the procedure went well.

After he had closed you up and checked for the 10th time if you still had pulse and were breathing, he picked you up in his arms gently and carried you to a free bed in a seperate room with ease. He'd get you positioned in his room later anyways.

It was dark already so he lit a candle on your bedside table.

He took a deep breath and gave himself permission to relax for the first time since you came stumbleing in. He got a blanket and gently draped it over you. He checked your pulse again and sat down on a chair next to your bed.

Jack slumped down and put his head in his hands. It had been terrible to witness, to do himself and it didn't leave him unscathered. The dried blood was still on his hands as he went through his hair.

He was distressed to say the least by this whole situation, not only felt he responsible for what happened to you, as if he should have protected you better, shouldn't have to cut you open, but also was this feeling terrifieingly new to him.

Jack was a street kid. He had grown up seeing gore and death. And he was a surgeon. He was living with death constantly. He had a living human under his hands daily. But with you it made him feel terrified.

He also wasn't very often terrified. His eyes moisted up. And he blinked hastily to get it away again.

So he engulfed your smaller hand in his big, calloused one. He had always loved the feeling of your hand in his. It made him feel like he was protecting you even though he failed so miserably in real.

You started to gain consciousness again as you blinked your eyes open slowly. The first thing you noticed was that everything hurt. The second was your hand resting in another and your gaze fluttered to jack on your side. He honestly looked a mess. Not that he looked less good because of it.

"You look like a mess." You muttered your thought out loud.

His head snapped up at the sound of your voice. "You're awake." He checked you over even though he knew excactly what state you were in.

Your hand softly squeezed his.

"How are you feeling? Are you feeling sick or dizzy?" He started to pepper you with questions.

"Feels horrible. Like I was hit by a horse." you croaked out.

Jack grimaced. "Yeah that's normal." He opened his mouth to start a sentence but clamped it shut again. Swallowing.

"I was really afraid." He whispered. His big brown eyes looking at yours sincerly.

You smiled weakly. "I was too. I'm glad you were there. Thank you."

He shook his head. "No that's not- I should've been there for you. I'll never forget that frightened look on your face...what happened excactly?"

You sighed and closed your eyes. "I was assaulted. Honestly I'm not sure what they wanted. Probably harass and rob me or something. Well I fought against them and it seemed they didn't like that very much. Stabbed me in the gut and left me on the street."

Jack ran a hand over his face. "I am so sorry. Still I'm glad that you at least weren't sexually assaulted... I shouldn't have let you gone outside alone. I told you it was too dangerous!" Jacks eyes started to wet again at the mental image.

"No. There is always a risk I know that. But i don't want you to- and I can't ask you to escort me everywhere I go. Just...thank you for saving me jack."

"Of course. I was bloody shaking doing that you know?" He gave you a small smile.

"You are the most chill person in a surgery." You stated confused.

"Well not when it's you under my scalpel."

He took the side of your face in his hands. Your skin was still pale. His eyes were switching between yours. "I don't want anything to happen to you ever again. I don't think I could bare it." He whispered. His face incredibly close to yours.

You layed your hand on to of his. "You're always there to save me if it should hapoen again doctor dawkins."

"I cannot fathom a life without you in it Y/N." He whispered.

You smiled lovingly up at him. "Will you join me in bed?"

He grinned widely. "Gladly darlin'. We have to be careful of your wounds though so no thigh cuddleing."

"Probably for the best." You groaned slightly as your attention turned back to the pain.

He got into bed next to you. It was a thigh fit but neither of you minded it at all. His movements were very careful and tender as he wrapped his arm around you.

You relaxed against him as he soothed the pain a bit away.

"I'll never let that happen again." He whispered rather to himself before a sweet slumber overcame you both.

[bellzsad]

my roman empire is what would’ve happened if dylan obrien and thomas brodie-sangster had actually kissed in that one blooper

[reneeluv154]

Frostbite

Hope you enjoy🤍🤍🤍

In this imagine Newt finds out you have frostbite and takes care of you.

(More on my profile if you like this.)🫶🏼🫶🏼

I was cold, so cold but I wouldn’t let the others know, we had been walking in the scorch for weeks, although I wouldn’t call it the scorch anymore. It was cold, cold enough to make your lips blue and your skin crack and bleed. Newt tried to offer me his gloves when it first started getting cold two days ago but I denied them, instead wrapping them up in my sock’s.

Now the sock’s were just to hide my gruesome frostbite rather than keep them warm. “Guys, let’s stop here, we’ve been waking for far too long.” I couldn’t agree with Minho more, the blisters on the back of my heels and my toes making it to where I could barely walk.

“Y/n are you okay?” Thomas asked wearily before watching me stumble to the ground. “Woah hey.” Thomas tried to catch me but I hit the ground with him and Newt on either side of me. I began to weep which then turned into sob’s of anger. I punched the ground, “I’m fucking done! Do you hear me!” I screamed out as loud as I could, causing a vicious pain to shoot through my head. Everyone was crouched down forming a circle around me, fear and worry plastered on their faces.

“Hey, take a breath Y/n.” Newt was calm with a comforting hand on my back, the other on the sand, trying to keep from slipping. I violently sucked in air never fully finishing a breath. I truly couldn’t breathe. I looked at him with panic in my eyes as I tried to breathe, tears still rolling down my cheeks. “Okay, everyone back up.” His voice was stern enough so they understood but calm enough to not scare me. He gently grabbed my face.

“You’re gonna be okay. Focus on my heartbeat alright?” He grabbed my hand, placing it on his chest gently, leaving me to feel the calm, steady beating of his heart. After a few minutes, my breathing slowed, and my tears were gently wiped by his simple calloused hands. “You're okay.” He whispered, bringing me into a tight hug. I believe more for him than for me. He knew I never liked hugs. Although I had always wanted one from him, I hugged him back knowing that’s what he needed at the moment. I didn’t want to let go but loosened my grip leaving him to let go.

“Thomas, help me walk her over to that building.” He nodded over to what was more like a small shack a few feet away. So with Thomas on my left and Newt on my right we carefully walked over to the shack, taking a few minutes to settle down. I sat on a small crate while the others cleared spots to sit and sleep for the night. I was staring at the ground when Newt came, sitting down beside me, offering me a cup with something in it. Not bothering to zone back in, I shook my head.

“It’ll warm you up.” He said, setting it by my foot on the ground and kneeling in front of me. “Can you take these off for me?” He asked gently, laying a hand on top of mine. I finally zoned back in still not looking directly at him but carefully taking the socks off my hands trying not to let the fabric pull on the cracked skin.

His eyes widened when he saw the purple and blue, bloody knuckles and fingertips. ‘Fry, can you make a fire real quick?” He asked, not taking his focus off of my hands. “Already on it, Newt.”

“Why didn’t you tell someone Y/n?” He asked gently, trying to warm my hands with his own as well as blowing on them.”I don’t know.” I was quiet, barely even audible. “My feet are pretty bad too.” The look he gave me was the sweetest yet saddest thing I had ever seen. “They don’t have frostbite, just lots of blisters.” He nodded. “Go ahead and take your shoes off, the cold should make them feel a little better.”

I nodded, taking my shoes off while he went and grabbed a thin blanket we had stolen from W.I.C.K.E.D. wrapping it around my shoulders. He was right, the cold felt good on my hot blistered feet. “Here, let’s go sit by the fire.” He handed me the hot cup making my hands sting but I knew that meant it was helping. I was caught slightly off guard when he picked me up and carried me to another crate, this one close by the fire, my feet still being cooled off by the patch of cement underneath me.

I decided to sit on the ground closer to the fire. Newt came and sat on the crate behind me, his legs on either side of me. “Newt?” I asked and received a small hum while he set down his cup which I learned was just hot water, and started to play with some strands of my hair. “Is it okay if I just give up?”

“Give up?” He questioned. “Yeah, If I just quit trying to make it out alive.” I was ashamed of asking such a question but I knew he wouldn’t judge me. He grabbed both my shoulders leaning in close to my ear. “Y/n you can not give up, I won’t for one second let you believe that you can give up because I would never let you do such a thing.” And for the first time in a long time, a small smile made its way onto my lips. It felt so good to smile, especially with someone like Newt.

Around an hour later he had braided my hair and wrapped up my hands now everyone was getting ready for sleep. “Where are you sleeping, love?” He hadn’t called me that since the first time I came to the glade but it made me feel special.

“Can I…sleep next to you tonight?” He nodded, “Of course, c’mon.” He laid out some clothes on the ground and used a jacket as a pillow. “Go on, I'll tuck you in.” He smiled, so I laid down letting him lay two blankets overtop of me, given that was all we could spare. He then laid down, a small bit of space between us. “Goodnight Y/n.”

“Goodnight Blondie.”

I woke up a tad bit cold and a bit scared. There was thunder and rain all around us. The small shack was the only thing keeping us safe and that wasn’t promising. I moved over to where Newt was lying and rested my head on his shoulder, he wrapped an arm around me and pulled me closer. “Are you okay?” He whispered, his voice still sleepy making me blush. “Yeah, I’m a little cold but more scared than anything.” Just then lightning struck close making me jump. “Shhh it’s okay. I’m here, I’ll keep you safe I promise.” He rubbed my back and gave me a small kiss on the head now wrapping both arms tightly around me. Humming a small song, which soon put me to sleep.

[newtkive]

pixels [newt x reader - modern text au]

ch. 4 - agoraphobia and burger king on 5th street

summary: a personal experience provides a way for newt to connect to y/n.

warnings: strong language, mental health talk, depression, medication (its my literal prescription i mention oops this is like a self insert fr), mutual pining, none really.

➥ m.list

--

THE GLADE

[ 10:52 am ]

y/n: it’s official yall

drugs saved my life

tommy: huh??

minho: same

newt: wow, i’ve never seen your name on my screen before 12 pm

y/n: shut the hell up bitch

newt: ouch, touchy

minho: woah

touchy 👀

are yallll..?

y/n: you’re sick

tommy: are we going to ignore the drugs statement??

like hello are u ok ??

newt: you’re annoying minho

minho: yea <3 😊

notice how they didn’t say no

y/n: you guys just don’t understand how a girl like me needs beauty sleep..

and no we aren’t

gally: all that beauty sleep and ur still walking around with that mug.. yikes.

y/n: 😑

i hate you i haete you i dhateoyifu

minho: great she’s having a fit

y/n: no one cares about me

and you think i’m ugly

this is so sick

and you don’t even care that i’m on drugs

☹️😭😭😭😭 done.

newt: no one said that love

gally that was rude

minho: BRUHHHHH

here she goes

tommy: I CAREE????????

DO I NEED TO COMEGET YOU????

y/n: yes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

before i do something crazy 😭😭💣

minho: THE BOMB IS WILD

tommy: stay where you are

i have your location

newt: uhhh

y/n: pause what

minho: tommy why would you admit to that

tommy: im On my way! what’s the issue

sorry autocorrect

y/n: WHY DO YOU HAVE MY LOCATION????

gally: can you guys shut the fuck up

minho: the drama queen is here 😍

gally: stop

alby: I have it on Life360, I imagine Thomas does as well. In fact I have all of your locations.

y/n: oh

i forgot about that app..

minho: i didn’t. i get a notif that newt’s phone is at 5% all the goddamn time

even tho he said he deleted it

newt: just turn it off then

i redownloaded it don't track my app intake

minho: no it makes me feel less lonely

y/n: awwwww

idk how you do that newt

newt: do what?

y/n: not charge your phone

if my phone gets below like 15% then the monsters will get me

tommy: omg me tooo 🥹

newt: i was about to say you sound like tommy.

tommy: don’t say that!

she’s on drugs i don’t want to sound like an addict 😔

newt: she isn’t on drugs thomas

tommy: she literally said she is newt :/

5 mins and i’m there y/n

y/n: are you actually fr

thomas..

we live very far away sweetie

newt: i mean

if you were in trouble you don’t think we’d come get you?

tommy: ^^

but life360 says you’re at the burger king on 5th

minho: no that’s me LOOOL

y/n: NEWTTT ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

tommy: wtf

i’m the one who’s coming to get u

why does he get the credit

minho: no tommy you’re coming to get me

tommy: oh yippee i get to see my friend 🤗

newt: ewwwwww

y/n: EWWWWW

tommy: OH STOP IT

y/n: why burger king of all places min

minho: why drugs of all things y/n

gally: she’s not doing drugs are you guys fuckin insane

y/n: yes i am

it’s 10 mg of fluoxetine 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

ONCE A DAY!!!!!!

IM ADDICTED

newt: no you aren’t, 10 mg is the smallest dose

minho: told y’all she was on drugs

y/n: ???????

minho: over the year

you’re too hyper to not be on some crack shit

tommy: oh stop that’s not nice.

newt: it’s not drugs like that minho stop.

tommy: uhoh he brought out the . at the end

y/n: it’s just for anxiety cuz i can’t leave the house without going into a breakdown

minho: she got acrophobia

told y’all she was mental

newt: what the fuck are you talking about

tommy: oh i know that word

fear of spiders 🕷️

minho: wtf no

fear of outside

y/n: i’m not afraid of outside

newt: that’s agoraphobia you fucking dumbass

y/n: 😍

i did NOT mean to send that lol oops

newt: ??

oh, okay

minho: when he’s a know it all 😍

when she’s agoraphobic 😍

y/n: when he’s at burger king on 5th because he has no food in his fridge and can only afford a $1.99 whopper with the coupons from the newspaper 😍😍😍😍

minho: 😒😑

newt: LMFAOOOO

GOOD THAT

minho: british people be so annoying

saying shit like gormless minger and good that be sooo real rn

newt: i have never said gormless minger in my whole 26 years of life.

y/n: you just did bro

newt: call me bro again

y/n: bro

brosive

brother

stepbro

minho: laughed until i saw the last msg :/

newt: 😑

y/n: ok youre the perverts

minho: cant you take your prozac and turn back to normal now

y/n: so you DO know what it is..

gally: wym 'back to normal' like there was smth before this??

y/n: real i been like this for life

tommy: i got whopper and two large fries and mozzarella sticks

newt: wow

y/n: wow just call him a fatass newt.

newt: i would never, stop

y/n: 2 large fries is kinda crazy tho

tommy: i have to get enough to share with my friend

minho

gally: surprised you have friends

tommy: yeah you are not one.

gally: RUDE?

y/n: WELL LMFAO

minho: i literally already ate also gally ur not my friend either

newt: same

alby: same

gally: well why tf am i in here

y/n: well you're my friend!

gally: great.

y/n: not with that attitude..

tommy: y/n you're ok though right??

y/n: yes tommy im fine sweetie

go eat your food

tommy: okay i wish you could share these fries with me

y/n: me too :(

minho: i don't

big back would eat em all

y/n: i actually hate you

__

newt

[ 11:45 am ]

newt: hey

y/n: hiii :D whats up??

newt: idk why but this feels like secretly texting you across the room at a party

y/n: actually tho

picture me giving u a look from across the room

newt: you would blow our cover immediately

i just wanted to let you know if you needed any like,, advice or something with your new medicine i'm here for you. i take the same stuff on top of lexapro

y/n: oh really?

newt: yeah i do

y/n: newt :( thank you

i am a bit nervous to start it tbh

newt: i understand, i was too

but hopefully it'll change things for the better

y/n: i hope so

i didn't realize you dealt with anxiety n stuff

newt: more than you know

you aren't the only one and you aren't alone w it

y/n: you're sweet newt, thank you

newt: don't mention it :))

sorry the smiley was creepy

y/n: lmao no i like it

if you need to talk or anything too i’m always here

newt: yeah?

y/n: of course ): you’re my pookie

newt: one day you gotta let go of that word lmao

y/n: but you love it tho

newt: you tell yourself that

actually are you free rn?

y/n: yeah! i’m just about home what’s up?

newt: i’m bored so pick up the phone

y/n: NEWT LMAO

ok fine 😒

[incorrectanything]

Bruce: Just do it, Y/N!

Y/N: Are you sure this is how people ask each other out?

Bruce: Yes!

Y/N: Alright then.

*Walks over to Charles*

Y/N: Charles, will you be the top to my bottom?

Charles: *starts choking*

[dirtytransmasc]

saw someone say they're we're happy Alicent's and Otto's deaths forced them "realize what they had done" and like...

Otto's one thing, I get the animosity. but Alicent? your getting hot and bothered over her realizing she failed, she failed to save her children, she failed to protect them, to them alive? that she tried so hard, so fucking hard, making every hard decision, trying to get between her children and the fate they were damned to by Viserys and Rhaenyra? that she damned her kids, who were already damned to die to begin with, and had to suffer the guilt of them dying to her own hand? that she's going to drive herself mad with grief over her children, her grandchildren?

like... it's not satisfying (especially for show Alicent) watching a woman go so mad with grief it literally kills her because she fought with everything she had to save her children only for them to die anyway. ever since her father's exile, when Rhaenyra's lies took Viserys's favor, when Viserys ignored the Rhaenyra's sons bastardhood at the risk of the whole house, or when Luke took Aemond's eye and Viserys demanded good will; she knew her children's lives were forfeit. then Daemon killed Vaemond and her children's coffins were built, catching cobweb's all the while. she knew and she fought it desperately, taking risk after risk, living in fear until her moment came, she could out Aegon on the thrown, she could protect her kids, maybe, just fucking maybe they'd be safe... only for it to lead to a war that would kill her entire family.

her death, slow and tragic as it was, is heartbreaking. she didn't deserve it, she deserved to feel safe, to feel as though she could allow her past friend take the thrown without her children being at risk to feel as though she and her children weren't being circled by wolves and picked at by vulture's. she didn't deserve to live alone and die alone. she didn't deserve to have her hands coated in her children's blood.

[askzloyxp]

But doctor, I AM PAGLIACCI!!

[ilynpilled]

jaime through the eyes of other povs

[ellestinyposts]

"Is it too late now?"

Newt x Reader (TMZ)

summary - you thought it'll be the last time you ever saw Newt in the day he died on your arms, until he showed up in front of you.

no warnings !! this is pure fluff and maybe a little angst 😸

You sat on the sand, the cold air hitting your bare shoulders as you breathe in deeply at the salty air of the ocean in front of you, waves bring the water closer to your feet. It calms you.

you always love those small things. you loved the sun and the stars, amazed at how they can shine on they're own.

you watch the stars and wish that you could also be like those stars, shine on they're own. But you can't, you're different. you're the moon. The moon that shined because of the sun.

The moon that wait days and nights and hours to shine together side by side with the sun but the day never came.

you're the moon, while newt is your sun.

Newt, the boy that made your life thousand times more better with him in it.

you missed the days you and him wouldn't sleep and sneak out quietly and you went to the top floor with him holding hands. watching together how the stars shine the sky so brightly and feeling the night wind blow your hair.

There we're times in glade where Newt would always hold your hand tightly while kiss you on your forehead and lips once in a while and say how much he loves you, grinning so widely to you.

You miss him. You can't deny the fact you miss him. You miss the times you had with him in the glade.

The ocean waves getting closer to your feet and the sound of footsteps reaching closer to you.

"good morning" came from minho as he sat down next to you. you replied with a forced smile, not really feeling like you want to talk.

"hey, you sure you don't want any breakfast? i made pancakes, the same ones you used to made" asked thomas, sitting beside you too, as he looked at you with worry.

The same one i made in the glade for them and newt.

Newt.

"I'm not feeling really hungry", you weren't lying, you hardly eat anything ever since you arrived at the paradise.

Thomas came and sat next to you. "well then, water?"

he handed you a cup of warm water.

"Thanks", you said before taking a gulp.

Minho puts his arm around you, "i know this is hard for you", he started,

"it's hard for all of us, but you need to take care of yourself. you haven't eaten anything since yesterday we arrived, and you're supposed to be resting in your room" He finished, speaking to you softly.

You gave him a small nod, and stared at the cup your holding as the sand warms your feet. "How have you been sleeping lately?" Thomas asked

"I sleep well" you send him a soft smile as he returns the smile and trace smoothing circles on your back.

The three of you watch the ocean for a moment without a word, you look to the sand as you inhaled deeply. Minho's eyes fell on you, and you turned to him with a soft weak smile. "Hey,"

with a small forced chuckle from the black haired boy, he replied "Hey"

"I'm glad you're both okay" you glanced at your feet, "I don't know what i would've done if you guys couldn't make it"

they nodded, looking at you for a while before minho replied; "i didn't expect that i'll made it here too"

thomas chuckle, "everything feels like a dream"

you didn't reply anything and just watch the waves getting closer to your feet. "I'm hungry, i think i'm gonna go get something to eat, see you both later" with that, you walked off

you weren't actually hungry, you felt empty. you just needed a reason to walk away. talking to them remind you so much of Newt and what happened that night.

Newt's hands are cold. His eyes empty. He's gone. tears pouring faster, and you wipe the tears away roughly.

"You can't leave me like this. not now, not later. you promised me you'll never leave me. please, newt. please. answer me."

you sighed.

Slowly, you made your way to get food, dragging your feet behind you. You stared at your surroundings, fiddling the hem of your shirt, trying desperately to not think of Newt but failed miserably. everything feels weird without him. the feeling that something is missing.

But as you looked to your left, there he stood, your eyes widened in surprise and you shake your head.

'stop, he's not here anymore, don't imagine things and pull yourself together y/n. he's gone.' you remind your self, trying so hard to not take a double look to check, but you couldn't hold your self so you looked. this time hoping he'd be there

you saw him.

again.

then the reality comes crashing down as you looked at him.

you froze. you stared at the blonde boy.

Newt.

your eyes locked at the sight your seeing. it's really him.

"Hey what's wrong?" Minho asked looking at you concerned.

You stood there, still frozen.

"Did you change your mind? do you not want to eat pancakes?" Minho asked

You finally found your words, and say what was holding your voice stuck in your throat. "that's... newt?"

his eyes fall to the direction your looking at. it took him a second to process it was really him as you both stood frozen.

Newt. The blonde boy. The love of your life. The one that died that night, is now running fast towards the two of you. He hugged you both tightly.

Thomas stared at him with surprise from afar, dropping his glass of water and run to our direction, hugging newt tightly as the corner of his eyes start to water.

Minho and Thomas asking him many 'how' questions as he replied "I'll answer all of your bloody questions later" his british accent ringing in your ears, making you cry. Is this really newt? but how?

"Newt.." the sound of your voice made him turn to you and smiled lovingly with tears in his eyes.

"Hey gorgeous" He opened his arms to hug you, you jump into his arm immediately feeling his warmth, solid and everything, He held you tightly against his chest.

You buried your head in his neck and your tears wetting your cheeks, tears drenching his shirt. you smiled a little. for the first time your truly smiled after you lost him. you hugged him tighter, still wanting to feel the warmth of his body and his touch as you feel him pressing his lips into your forehead and the smell of his body that you missed so much is enough to make you feel like you're home.

anywhere with him is home.

"Newt.."

"I'm here"

you finally pulled away, to look at him. those dark brown pair of eyes, his caramel colored hair that turned to a vibrant shade of gold when the sun hits his hair. oh how much you missed them.

it feels so unreal seeing him right now in front of you, you don't know if it was real or not.

he smiled at you again. that smile. the one you missed so much.

you hugged him again, this time with your head on his chest, he held your head in one hand and and your back in his other, pulling you closer and putting his head on top of yours gently.

you pulled away again, running your thumbs on his cheek and lips, realizing all the black veins, black eyes and popping veins we're gone. he's back to normal.

Minho spoke up, "But how? you..you we're stabbed and you died,"

"Yeah, we see you died that night in her arms, it doesn't make any sense" Thomas added.

"To be bloody honest, i don't know how myself. but i think y/n's blood touched my wound when we fought that night and it killed the virus and i survived, then i woke up surrounded by people, cured, and they led me here." he finished, looking at them.

"who we're those people?" thomas asked

"who ever those people are, I'm happy to have you back shuck face." minho laughed.

"and i'm happy to be back" newt smiled at us all, before whispering into my ear, "we've got a lot to talk about" he grinned.

Thomas glanced at minho, signalling to him to give you both time to talk. minho nods in response. "You must be hungry newt, let's make more food for them, and give them space to talk alone" Minho whispered the last few words and left with the others leaving you and newt alone.

"We'll meet you there later!" newt called back and turned to you, grinning.

he sit down at the sand, and pat the sand next to him, signalling you to sit next to him, so you did. he looked directly to you, breaking the silence.

"i miss you"

your eyes widened at the sudden confession, your eyes start to heat up and tears start to flood your eyes making your vision blurry.

"sorry, i didn't mean to make you cry" he looks at you softly and wipes your tears gently.

"you don't know how much i miss you and how hard it was losing you" you started. "it felt so weird without you here, it's like something's missing" you gazed at your lap

"i'm sorry for that night, i should've told you and try to work it out together like you said, but it was the best way to protect you" he started

you nodded as you understand the word 'that night' referring to the night you both argued because he hide the fact he was infected and you both broke up because of it.

"that night when i finally turned to a crank, i know i shouldn't have attacked you, but something in me is screaming for your blood, and in the end i hurt you, i'm sorry love." he whispered. your surprised at the last word, he used to call you that before you both broke up.

you forced a chuckle. you definitely missed being called that. you smiled at him "i understand and yes, i forgive you newtie. i always will."

he felt his heart skipped a beat at the familiar nickname you called him

newtie.

his words stuck in his throat as he tried to get him self to continue say the things he was planning to say but he failed miserable, after a second he finally forced out the words.

"and i know we had a bloody argument and we're not together anymore but i still love you y/n. i didn't mean the words i say when i told you i don't love you anymore and i don't need you caring about me, i still love you so freaking much and i really love it when your care for me, so..."

his voice getting quieter as he looks at you nervously, trying to observe your expression as his voice stuck in his throat for the second time. he lowered his head looking down at his lap, trying to find the perfect words to tell to you

'it's now or never'

"listen, the point of what i'm trying to say is, do you think it's too late to continue what we had?" he glanced at you and made eye contact with you

you chuckled at his nervousness. "so you're trying to say that you want to get back with me and continue our relationship?"

"if you still love me, well yeah" you chuckled

"i still love you newt"

"then, it's a yes?" he tilt his head and grinned at you, happy with your answer and now hoping you would agree to his offer

"why would i refuse?" you answered.

"bloody hell, come here" he smiled, he leans up, closer to you and kiss you. you kiss him back.

he hugs your body as your arms snaked its way to his neck and your fingers run to his hair, your fingers tangled in his hair. he pulled your body more closer, colliding yours with his until it you can feel his body warmth.

you both pulled away when minho suddenly yelled "Y/N, FOOD'S READY

you turn to newt. "You ready to meet everyone else?"

he nods. "yeah, let's go"

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

you walk in together, and you see the moment everybody's faces turn into shock except for minho and thomas, who was smiling widely at you both. you guessed that both of them haven't told the other's.

gally's eyes fall to yours, as if he's asking confirmations from you. you nod at him and smiled. gall's eyes widened and start to water.

"hey?" newt gives a little wave nervously as he watched the others exchanging glances with each other, and then gally, frypan and the other's moved, leaving the table they're sitting in and charged towards newt with a hug as newt happily hugs all of them tightly and didn't let go until thomas butt's in.

"alright everyone, let's eat as much as we want as a celebration AND STOP THE HUGGING SESSION, newt haven't eaten anything at all today"

they roared with laughter and finally pulled away from the hug.

standing beside you, minho chuckled and whispered, "you're happy aren't you?"

you smiled and nodded at him. "is it that obvious?"

"yes y/n, it's so obvious" you both laughed.

suddenly you feel someone hold your hand. you turned to see newt grinning before he pulls you into a sudden deep kiss as everybody else laughed. you both pulled away after everyone yells 'do it somewhere, you love birds!!' and your ears turn into a shade of red as newt's lips turn into a wide grin

[cringefail-clown]

city council meeting (kankri got locked up until he learns to shut up and respect Mayors opinions)

[the-fiction-witch]

Breathless

Media The Artful Dodger

Character Jack Dawkins

Couple Jack X Reader

Rating Flirty Af

Warning: Medical emergency / Asthma Attack

I woke, as I typically did with a sharp fast gasp. immediately I heard the wheeze in my chest like a pair of old moth-eaten bellows. I sighed and turned to my bedstand opening the little rosewood box and hearing the gentle tune of the music box inside plaid as soon as I opened it I grabbed one of the prerolled cigarettes shutting the box again and saw the candle on my bedside table still burning so I set the tip in the flame until it began to smoulder so I laid down on my back slowly but surely taking a deep inhale and blowing the resulting smoke across my ceiling. It fixed it as much as it ever did so I finished up and set the end in my little metal box with many others. 

"There's my sweet girl!" My father gleamed as he entered my bedroom with a wide smile 

"Good Morning Father," I smiled sitting up in my bed 

"It is a fantastic morning, A perfect morning for our party!" He cheered going to open my curtains to let in the sunshine 

I smiled as much as I could force, I knew this was important to him and I wanted only to be supportive. 

"I have a gift for you" He smiled tapping my nose playfully He clicked his fingers towards the door and the maid scurried in with a large box in hand, he took the box from her and set it on the bed opening the box up pulling out from the tissue and ribbon a sweet expensive new dress.

It was beautiful, A long off-the-shoulder dress of a sweet fabric a light pale pink with vertical strips of purple, and white lace at its hem, neckline and lace elbow-length sleeves with a black ribbon at its waist. It was utterly beautiful and would not have been cheap for my father to buy. but I began to panic as I looked at it seeing the ribbon and how small it was.  

I knew my father, he meant well but he always did this and always it made me fearful.

But I forced a smile "Thank you Father" I said giving his cheek a kiss 

"You're welcome, Now come along guests begin to arrive soon" He said rushing off to make preparations. 

I sighed climbing from my bed, I went and had a nice hot bath laying in the warm water for longer than I should just because it seemed to soothe my chest but I soon climbed out and went to my window in my towel looking out to the gardens.

My father was a very wealthy businessman in port with a lot of dealings coming and going in shipping, of course, our house was lustrous and grand second only to the governors only a few miles up the road, but the governor could not hold a candle to my father's gardens, well known in the area and beyond for the grandiose and beauty of the many exotic flowers and plants from all over the world, He took great pride in the garden and this combined with his utter love fort entertaining. Meant we had an awful lot of garden parties. 

Today was no exception my father was hosting a garden party and had invited everyone who could be imagined. He adored parties being an utter social butterfly, I however was more of an.... antisocial bookworm not much wanting to go but knowing word would spread if I didn't attend my father's own parties. It didn't much help my looming age knowing at the back of my mind certain men had been invited not due to my father really wanting them at the party but my father realizing they could be a good match for me so invited them in the hope one would catch my interest. But I know I am a very lucky girl, Many fathers would be insisting by now or would have wedded their daughter off for a business deal. But My father was a decent man and had always promised me I could choose my husband, that I could marry for love no matter who it would be. He felt he couldn't deny me what he and my mother had. 

I went to my mirror and began to dress, I pulled my white stockings up to my thighs adjusting them so the little lilac bows would sit forward, I pulled my long cotton underdress over my body tugging it down as far as it would go, by then my maid arrived and I gulped as she picked up my cream corset. I simply watched the mirror doing my best to not panic as she wrapped it around me and began to lace the back, I did my best to keep my breaths slow and steady but that wasn't exactly easy until finally she finished with the back, she pinned the ribbons in place and turned me to face her so she could pull the ribbons to the front to lace it again leaving me squeezed as much as possible 

"How much more?" I gasped already feeling breathless 

"Not much more Miss." she said "Pencil thin is the London style miss" She reassured

"I am not a pencil. I am a lady." I argued half of me was joking the other half was serious. 

Finally, she tied the last bow and removed the pin in the back as there was now no give in the ribbon at all, she took my crinoline the large wicker bird cage-looking thing that always made me smile a little tieing it simply around my waist and she helped me to slip on my dress, it was beautiful and I did feel very pretty even if again the lacing began as she all but sewed me into the dress ensuring it would be as close to me as possible. Not being helped by my father's purchase choices. 

"Alright miss?" she asked as she finished the last bow 

"Yes. Thank you" I lied, finally she helped me into my shoes and left to attend the party. "Women in London must have learnt not to need to breathe" I sighed I sat at my vanity and did what little make-up I bothered with before finally taking my hair from the tight braid I had done last night allowing it to now be in sweet curls. Once done I looked out to the window again seeing people had already gathered for the party so I grabbed my lace fan and my parasol and headed down to the gardens. 

"Ahhh My goodness an angel!" My father joked as he saw me "You look beautiful" He smiled 

"Thank you Father" I smiled 

"Go on then, Mingle I'll check in on you later," He told me ushering me deeper into the party, I did my rounds parasol in hand often batting my fan to try and get some air down my throat doing my best to greet and be pleasant with people. 

As I made the rounds I took note of those who were here already spotting a few men my father would have invited purely in the hopes of grabbing my attention but as I walked to a less populated area of the garden I took a seat for a moment on the stone bench I spotted a similar soul. 

He stood by one of the statues away from the main business of the party, dressed in his usual way but cleaned up a little better, he seemed awkward unsure why he was here, out of place in this bussle. I felt for him of course and for a moment even I wasn't sure why he was here. But then I recalled seeing Dr Sneed on my walk around the party and I know how my father thinks, my father would have invited Dr Sneed because he is his doctor and thus not inviting his own doctor to his party would be rude, and of course then in my fathers mind he must also invite Dr Dawkins for if he invited Sneed and Not Dawkins that too would have been rude. Honestly, I'm surprised he took up the invitation. For a moment we caught eyes and he offered me a small smile so I did my best to do so back. 

“You alright my sweet?’ my father asked as he approached sitting beside me

“Yes, just wanted a moment from all the excitement” I smiled

‘ahh well come along we are to begin the walk” he smiled to me taking my hand and soon enough the walk began, this was typical of every party my father would lead a walk around the gardens explaining almost every flower and plant giving a tour to the guests of course most ate it up but I slowly but surely slinked away until I was at the very back of the walk where I again found Dr Dawkins.

“Good day doctor”

“Good day miss y/l/n, does your father always do this?’

“Yes” I chuckled moving my parasol slightly higher as to protect him too

“AHH thank you” he smiled moving a little closer to be under the protection of the lace from the blistering sun

“Quite alright” I answered “what brings you to the party?”

“Your father invited me. Wasn't going to bother but something to do I suppose’ he chuckled

“I guess. I rather find it all tedious”

“well we agree on some things’ he chuckled “I have to admit though your dress is utterly stunning”

“Thank you doctor’ I blushed a little but had to fan myself quickly as I felt slightly breathless from the walking

“Ohh don't worry pleatenties of the party you can just call me jack” he smiled

“ohh that's very sweet, thank you jack’ I smiled “then y/n I insist”

“Why thank you, My god is he going to take us past every plant?” He whispered

“That he is” I smiled

“Any particular reason?’

‘its his pride. He adores his garden above all else?”

“Even you?’

“I don't know, I should hope not but I wouldn't be surprised’

“Why? Why would be focus so much on his garden and not his daughter?”

“He promised my other that her beloved garden would always bloom, she died only a few days later” I explained

“Ohh forgive me y/n I-”

“It's alright, he can be… overboard at times” I said doing my best to slow and catch my breath

“Are you alright?’ he asked

“Yes forgive me-”

“No no it's alright, are you sure? You seem lost for breath?’ he said carefully taking my arm

“I'm fine” I answered as I gasped trying hard not to wheeze or cry anything that might draw attention to myself he seemed panicked I tried again and gasp but it just wasn't working and I almost went over

“Whoa. I'm taking you inside’ he said quickly putting an arm around me and taking me quickly back to the house I dropped my parasol and fan as soon as I got in the door trying desperately to get my breath in “which way to your room?”

“This way” I gasped now beginning to cough and wheeze loudly taking his hand and leading him to my room as soon as I was inside I leant on my ottoman trying desperately to get some air into my lungs as he shut the door and came over

“Are you short of breath?”

“Yes” I gasped surely that was obvious

“try to breathe slow for me if you can” he asked and I did my best but that only made me wheeze louder

“Take off your dress.” He said

“I beg your pardon Dr Dawkins!’ I argued

“I need to examine you take off your dress” he said

“I cannot” I answered between gasps

“I'm a doctor I won't look y/n but I need to exmaine you” he said

“No I cannot. My maid she-”

“She's sewn you into the dress?” he asked and I nodded “alright” he said slipping off his jacket and grabbing a small knife from his pocket “I'll be as careful as I can” he said slowly using the blade to cut where my dress had been stitched by my maid until finally it released I quickly stepped away and pushed the dress off me as well as my crinoline immediately I felt a little better as I looked forward letting out slow breaths I caught sight of jack in my mirror he lied to me. He was looking. But I felt still so breathless that I tumbled onto my ottoman ‘whoa whoa! I got you. I got you.” He reassured only just catching me making me sit on the ottoman “I need to remove your corset”

“Doctor!”

“I have to remove it” he said coming to face me starting to unlace my corset ties quickly with his nimble fingers “out of curiosity. How'd your mother die?”

“Respiratory failure” I gasped and he looked up to me seeming panicked

“How old was she?”

“Twenty nine”

“Christ - for - god-” he grunted trying to deal with the knots and loops and ties in my corset until finally he unlaced the front and tried to pull it off but of course it didn't move he looked confused so I moved his hand to my back and he moved behind me seeing of course all the lacing on the back ‘oh you gotta be kidding me!’ he complained “they really didn't want you of this dress.’ he said fighting with the ties before “fuck it!’ he complained grabbing his knife again and cutting though the lacing managing to force the whole corset off me and that helped considerably “there we go.” He said a lift proud of himself “nice and slow let me listen” he said for a moment looking around the room clearly for something to use to listen but “I don't have my tools uhhh okay. Guess we have to do this the old fashioned way” he said sitting on the ottoman with me lifting my underdress up to expose my bare back I glanced in the mirror again and saw his cheeks slightly deeper with red his eyes glancing down from my neck all the way to the ottoman before he moved closer resting his head on my back to press his ear to my skin “nice and slow for me. Just breathe with me In. And out. In and back out” he said and I did my best to breath with him even if I ended up coughing and wheezing as he walked me through a few long breaths “how long have you been like this?” He asked as he pulled back moving so I could see his face letting go of my underdress

“Forever”

“I get the feeling you need to tell me something.” He said

“I'm asthmatic. Have been as long as I can remember.” I answered

“That certainly explains a lot” he said “when did a doctor tell you?”

“I was nine.”

“I take it your mother was too?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, how are you managing it? What do you have to take when you get like this?” He asked

“The box on my bedside table” I told him still struggling he got up and went to the box seeming confused

“What are these?”

“Asthma cigarettes. Prof prescribed them” I answered

“You smoke!’ he argued

“On doctors instructions yes.” I answered

“Are you mad!”

“There not tobacco there thorn apple leaves there meant to help” I said

He sighed begrudgingly bringing one over so I took it and lit it on a candle sitting for a few moments slowly inhaling it all

He brushed the smoke away from his face a moment before rather angrily speaking “he's mad.”

“It helps.”

“So would you sitting not moving for the ten minutes it took you to smoke that” he argued “but that dress wasn't helping in the slightest why on earth did they lace you in that corset so much?”

“It's the style apparently. Plus I needed to”

“Why?”

“...father buys all my dresses two sizes smaller then I am. I have to double lace the corset for a hope of even getting in them

“Why would he do that?”

“He means well. He thinks if he buys all my clothes too small it's… encouraging”

“Encouraging? I hate to ask but when did you last eat anything?”

“...four days ago.”

“Okay, that is also not going to be helping.” He said

“Yeah well you try fitting into a dress with a twenty one inch waist” I pouted

“I think he's trying to kill you.” He joked “you feel a bit better now?”

“Yes. Thank you jack”

“You're welcome. How often do you get attacks like that?”

“once a week or so.”

“Does your father know?”

“Somewhat. I don't always tell him the whole truth”

“Would you be against coming to the hospital?”

“What?”

“I am not confident about leaving you alone tonight. If you agree I'll talk to your father take you to the hospital I'll keep you under observation myself.”

“Why?”

“.... I fear this may be worse then just a simple attack y/n”

“I don't want to worry my father. he's fearful enough as it is”

“Then which would you rather? He be a little worried a stressed as you spend the night in hospital in my care or he comes in here and finds you dead in your bed tomorrow morning because I'm pretty sure which one will upset him more.”

“One night?”

“One night. Under observation.”

“Alright jack”

“Thank you y/n” he smiled giving my hand a kiss “just rest i'll go see your father” he said as he got up and headed out of my room.

Eventually he arrived with my father in tow and the two discussed as my maid packed me some items and my father called us a carriage, I changed into my loosest dress doing my best not to show my father my struggles

“Perhaps Dr sneed would be better he is my doctor he's taken such food care of me” he began

“Dr sneed is very busy he won't have time and what she needs is observations now I have the time to do so”

“Keep me posted won't you?”

“I promise.”

“You'll take care of her doctor?”

“Absolutely, I promise she'll be back right as rain”

“Alright, I'll see you soon sweetheart” he smiled kissing my head before he slowly and tenderly let my hand go giving it to jack, he smiled to me squeezing my hand and leading me slowly to the carriage luckily the party never even noticed but as i sat down my father pulled jack close to him. “Anything happens to her. It's your head.”

“Yes sir” he nodded before climbing into the carriage with me.

[islayhawkin]

Could that be enough?

Jack dawkins x f!asexual!reader

summery: you're asexual and decide it's time to have the talk with jack

Warnings!: suggestive/sexual topics but only talked about, human body reaction

Hurt/comfort

A/N: this is for the ace representation I myself need in media/fanfiction so I'm doing it myself. If you want this or similar stories with other characters in my list I'm happy to take in every asexual reader request :)

You were both cuddled up on the small bed in jacks room. It was dark except for the candle flickering on the bedside table. Your head lay on his chest and you could hear his constant heartbeat. Your head moved slightly up and down throught his slow breaths. Your arm lazily draped across his waist. He held you softly against him by the hip. Your legs were tangled together.

He kissed your temple and you looked up at him with love in your eyes. "Can I stay for the night?" You whispered.

" 'course. I'm not gonna let you wander home alone in the dark now. I need to stand up early though." He replied softly with a grin.

"Hm. That's alright." You hummed contently and absenently let your hand caress his bare waist. His shirt and waistcoat already taken off for the sake of sleeping.

"You comfy?" He chuckled, which made his chest vibrate.

"Very." You grinned as you snuggled your head demonstratively into his chest.

He smiled at the adorable sight and pulled your head up to his so he could give you a peck on the lips. He caressed your cheek with his thumb. His hair fell messily across his forehead as he looked at you with those big brown eyes. You stroke his hair back gently. He grinned at that action and leaned in to kiss you again. "You're adorable."

"You too jack. You have puppy dog eyes." You giggled.

He chuckled. His eyes switching from your eye to eye and down to your mouth as if to take in every little detail. "I love you" he whispered. His expression now serious. He was suddenly overcome with emotion. You looked so precious in his arms and he felt the strong need to squeeze you thigher to him.

He pulled you subconciously a bit closer and pressed his lips to yours again. It was sweet and slow but jack put a little bit more force into it after a moment. Wanting to be as close to you as possible.

When you both pulled away to breath you had the chance to respond. "I love you too." You breathed out.

He didn't miss a beat to kiss you again. You were partly laying on top of him now and he held you by the waist. The other hand on your cheek.

As his kisses got more passionate you felt something against your leg. You didn't know much about those matters but you knew the basics. And you knew what that meant.

It was poking into your thigh slightly as your leg lay between his. You tried not to let it bother you but you couldn't help but worry.

"We can't be too loud. The hospital will hear." He heaved breaths but there was a smirk on his face.

Contrary to you as your expression fell completely. You froze up and almost unnoticably moved a bit away from him. When he tried to pull you down for a kiss again but you were unresponding he realised something was wrong.

A frown appeared on his face. "Love? W-what's wrong? Are you feeling unwell?"

He turned your face to him so he could inspect you and look for any sign what could be wrong. A confused but concerned look on his face.

You didn't know how to respond but you moved your leg away from his. "Jack I..."

His attention was brought down to your leg and his frown eased in realisation. He looked up to your eyes again.

"Oh does that make you uncomfortable...? I didn't think about how it could bother you." He supressed the urge to pull you closer again and gave you a bit space on your side of the bed. He pulled himself up against the headboard to have a good look at you.

"Because the women you had before me were there for that?" You said softly. A smile twitched at the corner of your mouth through the serious facade.

He grinned and lowered his head in shame. "Yeah I guess." Usually he didn't feel any regret whatsoever for his sexual life but to tell you this, while you were sitting next to him so innocently, filled him with shame. As if he betrayed you by doing this even thought he didn't even know you back then. "Does it make you uncomfortable?" He asked again hesitantely.

"Yeah. I mean- your body doesn't bother me but you said you...uh" you tried to explain.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. We don't have to right now. That's fine." He said calmly.

You sighed. "Jack I- I need to tell you something." There was a small pause. "I don't want to have...intercourse with you."

He blinked. "Oh that's alright love. We can take it easy. I can show you slowly. Or wait til marriage if that's what you wish. I do not intend to pressure you in any way."

You shook your head and let it fall back against the wall in frustration. "No that's not what I meant. I don't want it ever. At all." You pressed the words out painfully.

Jack blinked and swallowed nervously. You could see that it hurt him. It stung him in the heart.

"But- is it because I cannot give you the life you deserve? Don't you love me in that way?" He asked almost defensively.

You couldn't watch this. You took his hand in yours and squeezed it lightly. "No. No. Jack this has nothing to do with you. I don't want it with anyone."

"Then why? I don't understand. Is this something medical? Shall I take a look?" His doctor mode turned on as he was now concerned for your health.

"This is not medical jack. I don't feel the same way you do. I don't have the urge to want it. I think it would feel horrible."

He came closer again. Holding your cheek in his palm. "Horrible? It's not horrible. You have a completely false picture of it. I'll show you. Just trust me. I don't know what you've been throught to think that sex would be horrible but I'll prove you wrong."

You squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head slightly in the palm of his hand. "No jack. I don't want it ever. I really don't. You can't change that. I'm sorry."

Slowly he seemed to realise that you really meant what you were saying. "Okay. It's alright you have nothing to be sorry about. Just- why would it feel horrible to you?"

"A foreign...thing would be inside of my body. I'd want to push it out."

"But it's not foreign. It's just me." Jack tried to understand you. But it was hard. It felt like you had just rejected him. You would push him away. You wouldn't want him.

Your eyes moisted and as he noticed he was desperate to stop making you sad but he needed answers.

"It's alright darlin'. I'm just trying to understand." He caressed your cheek with his thumb. "So we'll never have sex?" He whispered eventually.

You nodded.

"Do you even like me then? Do you like to touch?" His eyes scanned your eyes. His face so close to yours.

"Of course I do. I love you. I love you so much I think I can't live without you anymore. Everytime I see you I think my heart might burst. I like touching you. I like to feel you near me. I feel so much for you. I can touch you in any way you'd want. We just don't feel the same way about it. I don't feel anything...sexual. I'm not even sure how that feels for you." You blinked as you tried to hold the tears in.

He smiled and nodded, a little bit relieved. Maybe you didn't feel the same thing, but it made you happy to touch each other regardless.

“That’s okay. I enjoy it a lot too… we can continue with that… and I won’t press the subject. I’ll respect your wishes and I won’t push you to do anything you’re not comfortable with.”

You were so relieved by his response you immediately grapped his face and gave his cheek a kiss. "Thank you. I was so worried." A tear now escaped your eye.

He wiped the tear away with his thumb. A sad smile on his face. "Oh love I'm sorry. I should've reacted better. It's really difficult for me to understand but that's alright."

"Won't you miss out?"

“How can I miss out on somethin' that would hurt you? If it causes you pain, or any discomfort, then how could that be somethin' I enjoy? I would never be able to enjoy anythin' sexual if I knew it was causing you pain or sadness. And that is somethin' that I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself for. I would always know that you’re in pain… that you’re doing something to make me happy… and that would make me sad. I will miss it… I won’t lie to you, and I won’t try to hide that. Yes, I will miss it because that’s what I am used to. But I want you above that. We’ll manage.”

"We'll manage" you sniffled and he pulled you into his chest. "Promise you'll talk to me if it bothers you. That you can't have it?"

"I will." He whispered. There was a calming moment of silence. Only small sniffles were heard. "Does it bother you when my body reacts to you?" Jack asked quietly.

You hesitated. "Does it mean you want to have intercourse...?"

"Did you think that all this time?" Jack asked incredilous.

"Yes? Don't you get, you know, ready for it when you do that..."

Jack couldn't help but chuckle. "I uh- well yes. But it doesn't always mean that I want to have sex with you. It can. But it happens a lot too without me wanting to. Sometimes it just shows how much you mean to me that my body is reacting that way."

You smiled into his chest. "Oh...okay I didn't realise that."

"So it doesn't bother you?" He grinned.

"No. Then I suppose it is rather nice to know you appriciate me."

"That I do. Very much. This won't change anything between us. You don't need to worry. I can't believe you had to hide this the whole time." He pushed his messy hair back.

"Thank you."

[loserlvrss]

꒰ 𝐂𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐔 𝐖𝐇𝐎 ꒱ 손영재

summary : you broke with eric a long time ago, and you thought you were over him until you saw him with another girl

genre : angst, eric x afab!reader, non-idol!au, bestfreind!chanhee, for plot purposes everyone mentioned is around the same ages of 23-25 tws : language, mentions of sex, depressive episode author notes : no happy endings with me ♡ word count : 2.3k

“chanhee, i didn’t even want to come.”

“well, neither did i, y/n, but kevin said he’d send his attack-snake out on me. and i don’t want to find out what that even means.”

“huh,” you said, shoulders motioning with your voice, “kinky.”

"of course you'd think that," your best friend of a couple years (but felt like a million, in a good way) started, rolling his sharp eyes, "you haven't fucked in —"

"alright!" you stopped him, taking the creese of his elbow, "i get it, i'm lonely. damn, what about you though, king? when was your last relationship? because if i'm remembering correctly, it ended before eri —"

"y/n!" running up to the pair of you was the host, a bright and inviting smile plastering his face. although, you weren't sure why you kept walking around like a knife was lodged between your shoulder blades still. "i'm so glad you could make it!" because the moment you saw a familiar stranger, a brunette clinging to his strong arm with a green cocktail between her manicured fingers, your heart suddenly was on the floor.

you don't know why the scene of the liquid covering her perfectly blown-out hair flashed through your head. or why you could imagine the little christmas tree decoration in it scratching the top of her mouth until it stung when she would talk. you could hear her musically-tuned laugh ring through the air at a joke you couldn't imagine was that funny.

"what the hell am i, chopped liver?" chanhee joked, oblivious to what you spaced out on, "you only wanted me to come because you knew i'd bring along my emotional support fish."

it seemed you were always on a one-way street you just couldn't turn off of, because no matter how many potholes you hit, you keep driving; and if your tires popped, you weren't sure the car would stop.

you shouldn't be allowed to be appalled by the sight of your ex having moved on, simply because you broke it off when he wanted to make it work. you dropped his heart when he let you hold it. and when he should've played his cards close to his chest, he let you join his team just to fold. you were making the ship sink, so how could you have the audacity to be mad when he jumped from it while you went down?

he loved you, but at the time you weren't sure what you wanted. sure, you blamed it on being 19, but it was because you were scared to commit to someone so committed to you. you didn't want to be, selfishly, tied down to one person — and now that you've purged it from you system, you, selfishly, wanted the same commitment he had given you 5 years ago.

now you stood in the foyer, two different faces from those kids, attached to another man, thinking about if he looked over, would he get the wrong idea? would it make him as jealous as you felt?

you've loved, had loss and even forgot it. but faced with the void you could never fill was more debilitating than you cared to admit. you wanted to be two ‘i miss you's’ that just needed a push, but evidently only one of you felt that way, as the other was happily coupled up during cuffing season. but then again, you had no right after half a decade to think like that.

you just had to be brave and pretend like it doesn't bother you. you can do that. you can do a lot... right?

chanhee rammed into your side, his desperate attempt to get you back down on earth, instead of inside your never-not-on brain. "did you even hear what kevin just said?" he asked, and you looked to said man, "he said the bands getting back together." your bestfriend made a joke, which did cause you to loosen up and laugh. you thought that as long as he was there, you'd inevitably be okay.

"well not exactly, a couple people couldn't make it — which is fine, but most of our old friend group is here." kevin explained, lacing your free arm with his so you were sandwiched between the two of them. "it seems like you and chanhee were the only ones who really hung out like we all used to."

you reminisced the old times for a second. you remembered when your name was connected with eric's, when you hung out like old times with them and him. you remembered the stupid parties kevin's frat would throw freshman year, that eric would drag you to, just for you and him to have a great time. you remembered when you'd have quiet study sessions with jacob and younghoon in the school's library, or juhaknyeon and sunwoo's soccer games. it made you feel a little messy, because after you and him broke up, it's like you broke up with them all. you habitually stopped hanging out, only being dragged by chanhee who was attached to you since first introduction.

you actually owe your level-headedness all to him. he's the person who convinced you that you didn't need to have a run-of-the-mill to finally find something good. he's also unfortunately the reason you remember eric like it was yesterday, even if you don't front like it. you knew you had someone so devoted to you, yet you let him go and now you had the audacity to feel bad about it.

"well, is sunwoo coming?" you asked, which earned a nod from kevin, "and what about younghoon and juyeon?"

"juyeon got a girlfriend!" chanhee exclaimed excitedly, his voice lowering when sangyeon's attention was caught on the three of you, "like last month."

the oldest of your friend's face lit up, "y/n!" he said, making you force a smile though you were cringing; because just a couple feet away was the love of your adolescence, with the presumable love of his.

standing next to him was hyunjae, "how've you been, oh my gosh, it's been like years hasn't it?" you voiced, bringing him in for a hug, which he reciprocated before you moved to sangyeon to repeat the process. it had been years since you've last spoken to them other than a happy birthday or congratulations once in a blue moon — you honestly wouldn't be surprised if their numbers had changed and you'd been texting a random person.

"good, good," hyunjae replied, sipping a bright red cocktail, "i actually just finished my business degree, thinking of either opening my own or investing in some else's."

"and I just got engaged, though she wasn't able to make it here tonight — ceo stuff — she's getting ready to go international after fully getting elected as the heir."

you couldn't help but compare, sure you had your teaching license, but it wasn't as impressive as either one of them.

they were making it hard to believe that the world was spinning too fast, and that you weren't stuck watching the same film over and over again.

chanhee began talking in your place, forcing you down into the barstool between them all. kevin went over to younghoon and juyeon who had just made their way through the door: a synthetic blonde attached juyeon's arm.

"what's her name?" you blurted, the three boys looking down at you, "she's pretty."

hyunjae was nonchalant, pretending he didn't know exactly what you actually meant. however, sangyeon replied awkwardly, "w-who? kim minyeon? or jang nari?"

"juyeon's girlfriend, n-not eric's."

"o-oh! that's minyeon."

nari. the feminine name meaning lily; new beginnings and rebirth. just fucking perfect, wasn't it? pretty, perfect and delicate, just like the flower.

you sighed and excused yourself, disguising it as having to use the bathroom. in honesty, you weren't sure how much more torcher you could take, and it's barely been twenty minutes. you thought you'd be fine, as long as chanhee stayed by your side, but the longer you watched the pair through your peripherals, the more you just ached.

you cared more than you'd like to have admitted. and the worst part is you had no one to blame — to be mad at — because everyone had rightfully assumed you both were over it.

like you were supposed to be.

it was pathetic, the way you stared yourself down in the mirror. you found yourself resembling someone you've never met, or maybe someone you had just forgotten in all the growing pains. nevertheless, you found yourself disgusted by the fact that you were disgracing your mother's eyes, father's nose, and sister's cheekbones with the self-pity. there was nothing more selfish than crashing someone else's party with one of your own.

so you choked the tears back, the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe. you took a powder from the purse slung over your shoulder and fixed your creasing makeup. you reapplied a red lipstick, fixing your hair and outfit. you thought that if you couldn't have him, maybe you could make it wish he had you instead — god, you were letting the delusions look too good under the fluorescent light.

however, you stooped lower than throwing a pity party. you exited the bathroom with part of your dignity still intact, but the moment you sat against the plush-cushioned bench against the wall your phone was illuminated with pictures of the pretty brunette.

you couldn't get yourself to stop once you typed her name out. it's like you were boarding the gossip train all the way back in high school.

you scrolled like you were obsessed, brain blanking out everything around you. you saw her go through a cherry red hair phase sometime in 2022. you found out that her and eric had taken a vacation to hawaii back in 2021, multiple bikini pictures and perfectly sculpted bodies clinging together like models being the tell. you scrolled farther back, dead-set on finding the first picture she ever posted of him… that must've been close to when they met.

why do you even care? you know he was too caught up following you around like a puppy to even believe that he would entertain someone other than you. so, why were you obsessed? maybe you needed a reason to be mad at him. maybe you needed an excuse to shift the blame.

maybe it's everything you needed that he could live without —

"i didn't meet her that far back, y/n. we were still dating then."

your eyes shut, finger hitting the power button. you took a moment, hoping that it was just your cruel subconscious playing tricks with reality. "didn't think you'd cared that much," he took a seat on the complete opposite end of the bench, "it's been five years... and honestly i didn't think you cared back then either."

you were too embarrassed to say anything. and frankly, you didn't know what to reply with. i'm sorry? i did care about you, but just not enough? nothing seemed to suffice.

"i met nari at work. she treats me —"

your vision was blurring over, but you couldn't find the courage to get up and walk away. you were just so damn pathetic, weren't you? you just thought that everything in this world belonged to you, peaking your freshman year of college in comparison to the people who still innocently call you a friend.

"better?"

"different, y/n. she's different than you."

you sighed, "that doesn't make it bet — i mean, it doesn't matter, eric. i'm sorry, i was just curious after not seeing you for so long." your eyes opened, but the scene was blurred over, almost like it was torrentially pouring while driving late at night. there were questions flashing behind your eyelids every time you tried to blink the tears away. you thought that you couldn't stoop lower, but for the past couple minutes you've done nothing but prove it wrong. "i'm so-sorry, i'm just gonna go."

you got to your feet, but his voice made you stop dead in your tracks.

"w-why does it bother you so much?"

you honestly felt like your heart was re-shattering, joining the dust on the floor at your feet. you thought the question would join the heaps of pathetic things you've said and done tonight.

you turned around, phone clenched between your fist. eric was still sat, dark hair styled so nicely you almost thought that it wasn't him — but her — outfit a matching shade to the dress you saw hugging her figure gracefully.

"do you honestly think i didn't care about you?" you asked, to which he raised his head at an alarming pace, "it's true, i know i fucked it up, eric, okay? i know what i did to you and i'm sorry. i-i'm sorry i waited so long to tell you that." clearing the air didn't feel like closure at all. the tears in his eyes didn't feel like hatred at all. and maybe he didn't mean it. maybe he only told himself that because you did break his heart so bad, still holding pieces he's afraid he'll never get back. "you can think whatever you want, hate me even, but please don't think for a second i didn't love you back then. i was naive and made a mistake, but it's too late to take it back. believe me, i've thought about it. but i always fucking cared about you, okay?"

you found it oddly satisfying, though knowing in the back of your head that he would curse you for saying these things while he's happily coupled up, you didn't regret it.

"i'll forever be sorry, so don't hold it over my head."

"i believed you didn't care about me... back when we were nineteen." he replied after a long pause, "but i haven't believe that for a long time. y/n, i've forgiven you."

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