#taste is very interesting as a sense bc like. we can talk about ‘is the blue IM seeing the same one YOU see’

[perilegs]

wait i read ur tag and i am so curious! u say “its like when u say ur eating tortillas but u dont mean just the bread” but i cant figure out what u mean, ive only ever seen tortilla = tortilla. do u use tortilla to refer to like quesadillas also? tortilla + cheese?

ahh this might be a finnish (+some other countries) thing. if you're, for example hanging out with friends, and you decide to "make tortillas" it doesnt mean making the bread from scratch, but getting those pre-made tortillas (the bread) and putting filling in them like this

the 2nd pic is a tortilla package and as you can see they do sell the bread with the name tortilla as they should, but people just refer to wraps made with tortillas as tortillas here. quesadillas are quesadillas though!

[aliosne]

I think, and kind of want to do a poll about it, that some of us mean something a bit broader when we say “spicy.” Like I absolutely have White People Palate im not denying that, but either there are some compounds that just hit some of our tongues differently like the cilantro soap gene, and/or a lot of people specifically identify “feeling of capsaicin” as spice and not other spicy compounds. I feel like I could go down a very deep rabbit hole here but im restraining myself bc i should go to bed

[infernalodie]

can you please make the most toe-curling, back arching, earth-shattering jenna ortega imagine where its a black!male!reader where the reader and jenna haven't seen each other in a while so their very sex-starved. Have jenna tease the reader and say something like "i almost had to ask mason for help." considering that he's her love interest in scream VI and the reader goes fucking insane. like I'm talking orgasm denial, dirty talk, maybe choking, and after she comes there are back to back orgasms. it'd be funny to add that she passes out at the end and he goes "put her ass to sleep." anywho, i absolutely love ur writing, as it has been a huge impact in my life, and ur existence as a whole. bc of u i decided to major in english at southern in baton rouge starting this fall.

much love, jennasslut

𝐈𝐧 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐈𝐭 || 𝐉𝐞𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐎𝐫𝐭𝐞𝐠𝐚

"𝘓𝘦𝘵'𝘴 𝘧����𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘬𝘪𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘯, 𝘐'�� 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘯𝘢 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘴𝘶𝘳𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘪𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘨𝘦𝘵 𝘪𝘵 𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘨𝘰𝘵 𝘢 𝘴𝘱𝘰𝘵, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘐 𝘩𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘵"

Inspo: Tory Lanez - In For It Tory Lanez - ...The Make Up

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x Black!Male!reader

Summary: She was in for it, but she didn't care if it ended in a long night with you...

Warnings: Smut with no plot (really), degradation kink, choking, orgasm denial, overstimulation and a flash of fluff.

a/n: This is exactly why I write. If I am impacting someone and giving them the motivation to try and create something they see as beautiful, then I am happy with my life. So, I am glad I impacted you and I hope everything goes well! I am also sorry if this is "eh".

Words: 2143

DNI IF YOU'RE YOUNGER THAN 18!

“So, have you missed me?”

From your position on the other end of the couch, you glanced at Jenna who sat opposite you. Her eyes are curious and interested in how you will answer the question. And you shifting slightly, thinking of the many phone calls that she had left you craving more than just imaginary fantasies, her lips curled.

Truthfully, she knows she didn’t need you to answer the question. How you’ve been looking at her since she got into your car from the airport had been enough. But this spiced things up. She loved testing her luck and seeing how far you would run till the chase was over.

“Of course,” you replied, smiling softly. “The apartment’s been quiet since you left. I’m just glad you’re back.”

Jenna smiled. “Is that all you missed?” She inquired, tilting her head.

That question left you dumbstruck. Lips parted and eyes slightly squinting, a soft chuckle slipping from your lips. “Jenna, it’s been barely an hour since you got back from New York,” you stated. “Why don’t we just enjoy the movie, yeah?”

“You don’t have to play coy, Y/n.” She started to crawl toward you, making you cock your head to the side. Her movements were slow and deliberate to rile you up. The extra sway of her hips, the view of her supple breasts, and her very convincing words. This was no game you were foreign to. “If you want to fuck, we can fuck.” And that’s when she climbed up on you, straddling your waist. Your hands instinctively fell to her hips, feeling out the bare flesh revealed from her crop top. Jenna smiled, catching her bottom lip between her teeth as her nails gently scratched at the back of your neck. “I think it’s what we both want- What we both need.”

“Jenna, come on. You just got back,” you tried to reason, a quiet chuckle filling the abruptness of tensity in the air. “I mean, I’m always down for sex, but you’re tired. We should just relax, all right? Roll one up if it sets the mood right.”

The clear rejection did undoubtedly leave a bitter taste in her mouth. What she must’ve mistaken as a sense of longing had just been you taking her in after so long of being apart. And something about that disappointed her.

“I should’ve just asked Mason to help me out,” she muttered. “Probably had a bigger dick than you.”

You knew she was trying to get inside your head. Wanting you to get self-conscious and prove her wrong. It was fruitless. But you will admit that her statement about Mason did set something off. She’d been poking the bear since she landed and it seemed she finally was getting the reaction she’d been seeking.

And in a matter of seconds, she was ushered to the table and tossed on top. Jenna’s eyes were wide as you stood between her legs, aggressively yanking her pyjama pants off, a few seams ripping.

But getting what she wanted to make her smile. “Oh, is Daddy angry-” Her snarky remark was stopped by you roughly grabbing her jaw. Ripping a gasp from her lips.

You stared daggers into her, pressing the tips of your fingers into her cheeks, compelling her to open her mouth. “You wanna talk like a whore, I’ll treat you like one.” Pushing two fingers into her mouth, you roughly pressed down on her tongue and pushed further until she was gagging. Spit building around your digits and soaking your palm. But when you thought Jenna might push you away, scream at you for being so fucking rough, you were surprised to hear her whine. Her legs wrapped around your waist in an attempt to feel your cock that was peeking from the waistband of your sweatpants. Gagging on your digits that occasionally pushed to her limit.

Pulling your fingers from her mouth, you watched a string connect from the tips of your fingers to her bottom lip. Glancing at her eyes that were watering as she fought every fibre of her being to not speak. Hands gripping the edge of the table that could very much snap under Jenna’s tight grasp.

There was no talk. But the look in your eyes told her enough that this wouldn’t be anything soft. And neither did she want it to be. Being deprived of you for so long, she needed something to remind her why the wait was worth it.

Freeing yourself from your sweatpants, you stroked your cock and Jenna couldn’t take her eyes off of it. During the filming of Scream 6, she had her way of getting something out of you. But when she was on set and getting a video sent to you, it left her salivating and aching. You would stroke your cock, practically starting the video with a mere 30 seconds of you on the brink of orgasm. And Jenna would listen to your deep groans that soon morphed into moans as you reached the precipice of completion.

She’d been needing to see and hear that. She’d been making up too many fantasies to get her through the gruelling filming schedule back in New York. But now having you riled up in front of her, practically on the edge of destroying her, she was excited.

So, feeling your girthy length drive through her folds and brush over her clit elicited a rather pornographic moan from her lips. One that you were quick to comment on. “Oh, sweetheart. You’re already keening at that?” You inquired mockingly. “You’re a desperate bitch, huh?”

Jenna couldn’t bite back, only responding with a gasp as you bottomed out in her. Feeling her walls clench around you, pulling a groan from your lips. Carefully placing closed fists on either side of her, arms flexing as you allowed her velvety walls to allow you to breathe. “Squeezing me so nicely. God, you feel amazing, baby.”

She whimpered, looking up at you with those eyes. Ones that are full of desperation. Full of needs that you could solve. But displaying that gave the submission of control she might’ve thought she had.

But you already stated how this was going to go. No matter how cute she looked at you, there was no changing it. If she was getting what she wanted, then you would as well.

So, when you felt the least bit of resistance, you let your hips move. Stealing Jenna’s breath with each pound that echoed in the quiet apartment. Each thrust was harsher than the last. Making a point to her that her words had consequences. And each thrust caused her toes to curl, head lulling back as she cried out. But even the sounds were stolen from her from each profound slam of your hips.

“Oh, f-f-fuck!” She cried, feeling the fullness of your cock each second. Pressing against the right spots that had her seeing stars. Her toes curled with each pleasurable filling. Her lips faintly twitched in a tired smile as her body was reminded of the heavy exertions you compelled against her.

Whether it was the pace or the strength, Jenna could feel that knot building in her stomach. Her high octave whines giving away the eventual release. Choked breaths fell from her wet lips and just as she was reaching the high, you pulled away completely.

It left her quivering, whining childishly. “W-Why’d you stop?” She reached out for you, attempting to pull you close, seeking the warmth of your body once more.

All you did was brace your hands on the edge of the table. Licking your lips at the sight of her cunt that was soaking wet–squeezing around nothing. And Jenna was on the edge, you could tell by her half-lidded eyes and chest that rose and fell rapidly. She was a mess. You took pride in knowing that you were the only one allowed to see this side of her–that you could be the only one to put her in this state.

So desperate. So needy.

“I’m treating you how you want to be treated,” you replied eventually, not even caring to meet her gaze. “This is what you deserve, sweetheart.”

The way you looked in Jenna’s eyes was perfection. Your bronze skin had a fresh sheen of sweat, muscles flexed as you took in the sight of her figure. Admiring each big and little detail of her. Cock standing stiff with precum dripping from the tip’s slit.

But after a few moments that she was allowed to catch her breath, you pressed into her once more. Your lips find solace along her shoulders or chest. Jenna’s own hands slipped through your hair and yanked with each sharp thrust. 

She was reeling at the fact that you kissed everywhere besides her lips. Blocking that level of intimacy with her, which she knew was part of the punishment. And with this cloudy layer resting over her mind, obscuring coherent thoughts, she didn’t know how to explicitly tell you she wanted it. What she did know she could communicate was her need for the release you sourly stole from her.

This time, she tried to keep it hidden from you. Strangling the whines that wished to escape. But if there was one thing that the two of you could take from one another’s relationship, it was the fact that you two knew one another’s bodies too well. Like, way too well. So, when you saw her hands tremble, buckling under her own weight and her walls quivering around you, you knew those were the telltale signs.

And just like last time, you pulled yourself away from her death grip. Grinning at the sound of her crying, your name able to be made out in her babbles.

“Fine. I’ll give you what you want.” Through the tears, she gasped at the slam of your hips. Fingers pressing to her clit and rubbing fast, tight circles. Bringing her the sudden blast of stimulation had her twitching, almost panicking. She aimlessly grabbed at anything that could keep her from sliding off the table. And when you pressed your free hand to her stomach, forcing your cock to drive further ahead, she saw stars.

Face scrunching up, legs quivering and cunt gushing around your cock. And the sight of her arms flexing and stomach doing the same inflated your ego. Her white cream smeared across your length beautifully.

But you continued to rock your hips into her, ruthless and unforgiving.

“W-Wait-!” She breathed, hand gently pressing to your chest, but you didn’t stop. Your jaw ticked. Slightly angling your hips differently before you were pounding into her once more. The new-found soft spot you were hitting left Jenna dumb. Drool escaping the corner of her lips as she babbled pathetically.

Continuing to hit that same angle, your hands moved to hold her sides. Thumbs resuming the pressure in the center of her chest as you used her body like some sort of sex toy. Grinning down at Jenna who was left panting and trying to cling to reality. And although her walls squeezed around you continuously, you kept the same goal.

Hearing her whine and cry as the overstimulation became too much for her to comprehend. That or the sheer impact of orgasms and her body tensing up made her vision fade. And you, being too lost in the pleasure, didn’t see the girl’s legs curl up into her chest before her head hit the table with a thud. Legs limp in your hold as her walls clasped around you one final time, yanking you toward the edge.

By the time you were finished, you were resting your pelvis flush against her. Head lulled back as you breathed heavily. Tired eyes lowering and finding Jenna on another kind of cloud nine. Unconscious and body twitching. Clearly sensitive from any faint movement you made while still inside of her. But you enjoyed the view, kissing her lips softly before lifting her carefully to rest against you.

The angle caused the girl to cry, nails digging into your back. “It’s all right, baby. We’re done.” She relaxed once more, soaking in your warmth. Your thumbs rubbed the back of her thighs soothingly, smiling upon hearing her soft moan of approval.

You laid her down, slipping into the open space beside her in the bed. Able to feel her just barely clinging to consciousness. Eyes faintly squinting to stare up at you. Moaning against you, eyes flickering shut with your hand cupping her cheek. So, you leaned down and kissed her forehead and whispered, “Don’t fucking test me Jenna or it’ll be worse next time.”

And in the haziness, Jenna managed to smile. Hearing your husky tone already warming the apex of her legs as she kissed your wrist tiredly. "I loved every second of it."

[wings-of-ink]

Ask with chapter 5 spoilers below.

From @ariquess-arts

speaking of spoilers and Oswin ((and simping for that man))!! maybe it was answered before but I can't find it. will there be consequences of having romantic points with more than one RO?

Hello dear! You won't have to worry about consequences per se, though depending on certain actions (such as an attempted confession) it may warrant some additional discussion. Oswin is the main one this can happen with, and depending on choices, there may be an instance of him having doubts or asking if MC is sure that they want him - something of that nature. The ROs are all basically interested in MC - all single and ready-to-mingle sort of thing - but they are all fairly realistic in their expectations even when flirted with and such. Duri expects nothing, and neither does ??? at the start, Zahn and Rune are both in the realm of just hoping something could possibly happen.

I mean, my MC is shy and gentle (with a little lot of playfulness in them) and very into Oswin, they nearly said the L word to him. (we all know why they didn't). and I wasn't very interested in other ROs with this specific MC. (they want them very much in a *platonic physical touch full of cuddles and non-romantic hand-holding and feeding them all honey cakes* kind of way) but then the end of chapter 5 happened, and my MC is blushing and stuttering and 'WHAT. WHY.' for ??? if only because I thought it would be funny. like, I see them not even realising it. like, 'yeah, ??? is hot, so what??' maybe the first time in a while they found someone hot besides Oswin and they're not fully aware themselves? that they might-or might not- get a crush on that asshole, lmao. Oswin is still an end-game for them but I just can't stop myself while thinking about any and all Oswin/??? interactions and parallels. (wait is parallel wven a correct word between those two?? probably not, haha) like, imagine your childhood friend has a crush on you and nearly tells you how they feel after days of going red-faced mess just from you looking and them... and you stop them from saying L-word bc you're insecure and 'not-deserving' (can't wait till my MC can shower him in love and show him how wrong he is) and blah blah (/j, his feelings are very important here). only to see them all a mess again a few days later, but for some tall(er? if I remember right) asshole who very nearly killed them, lmao. yeah, I find this specific pair cery interesting and funny. I'm actually judging my MC soooo hard for their taste, lmao.

I totally feel this, lol. No matter if Oswin is romanced or not, an inclination toward this handsome asshole will make him question everything. It won't be a deal-breaker for him if MC flirts with him and also has feelings for Oswin, but there will be some reactions coded for Oswin based on MC's feelings. So if they are romantic with Oswin but have some sort of moment with another person, it may hurt him a bit or shock him. But Oswin knows that MC isn't beholden to wait for him too. He still respects MC's choices because they don't belong to him. Until they are officially "together" he may feel a bit jealous or a bit hurt by this and you may get some unique dialogue and such. So in that sense, there is a bit of a consequence but it won't be like a huge upset or drama. It will be part of a tough conversation about MC's true feelings.

also, I very much like to see my MC suffer,

We are of the same mind, my friend, lol.

so ofc I choose some (all) very bad choices for them and by the end of ch5 I had some sort of epiphany bc hear me out.

LOL, so you were beat the hell up. I like it.

each time MC goes through someting bad (tm), Oswin is hit with it twice as hard.

Yup! You nailed it! :D And you're gonna see some of the effects on him in chapter 6.

you know, the something something, input his ch5 talk in here but make it worse bc now, he's actually responsible (in a way) for MC and their well being. so I replayed the game again with the same MC and exact same choices bc I this time, Iwas fully aware both of them will suffer, lmao. (it made ch4 choice of calling out for dads to hold MC extra angsty for me like the first time wasn't enough, haha, bc can you imagine what Oswin celt then? not only unable to protect MC but also give them the comfort they needed? ouch).

YES, that is super impactful. And that negative perception he has of himself tingles and starts to eat at him again. Not MC's fault of course and he knows this, but he knows that he's at a stage of life where he must conquer these things that plague him.

also, also, there's two parts of the story extrememly hard for me. 1) what do you mean I have to choose whom to give the cake to? my MC wants to feed them all! let my MC feed everyone honey cakes pls!!! even the assh--???. (I'm unable to give the cake to anyone but Z. they deserve it so much).

Teehee! Sorry! (kinda) I knew when I did that it would make it conflicting, lol.

2) I HAVE TO CHOOSE WHO TO GIVE A PRESENT TOO? Lunan, I'm sorry you're so wvil for that. how can I choose between my beloved dads and my best friend? ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ༎ຶ⁠‿⁠༎ຶ (it's Lakota, I can't stop myself from choosing Lakota, I'm so sorry, dads).

Teehee again! I debated about being nice and letting MC get a few things but changed my mind. If it is any consolation, they will all be happy to have MC home and that is gift enough. <3

I'm sorry it turned out so long. I spent like, qhat? 2 hours writing (and re-writing) this ask to make it shorter, but oh well. and sorry for all the mistakes, as I got out-drunk by seventy-something years old neighbours of mine (where do these ppl get stamina for taht what). not to mention English not being my fisrt language, I had to take it off my chest. ಥ⁠_⁠ಥ

Not to worry, my friend! This was an enjoyable read and made me smile. Don't feel bad about being out-drunk - I promise - they felt it worse the next day even if they pretended not to, lol.

(I may or may not have a rather long ask in my phone notes about how I feel about your IF ((positive, really)) that sits there for 2 weeks already, but I don't really want to spam your ask box, so instead let me just...)

I love this story so much and I'm so so thankful you chose to write it and share with us, thank you sooo much!!

I am so glad you love it and that you shared these things with me. I'm so glad I can bring you something that lives in your heart like this and that brings you enjoyment. I can't wait to bring you more. ^_^

[greenfiend]

cw blood/gore

hi! saw some beautiful fanart that reminded me of the manga The Promised Neverland (heavy rec to look it up, at least the promo pics -you might find that the outfits look kind of familiar). if you haven't read it, the story follows a group of kids who think they're orphans, but in reality are being raised as human cattle to feed the demonkind (and they are killed by a spear in the shape of a rose, like in the aforementioned fanart). Here's the thing, tho: only children younger than 12 and completely raised in that farm can be sacrifices bc the premium meat is their brains, which is why they're subjected to rigurous mental, academic and even physical training (in their innocent minds, to be the first choice for a couple looking for a kid to adopt.)

besides a few interesting parallels in the setup of this story to hawkins lab, it made me think of something that might be an additional clue to DID theory: El was so notoriously frail in 1983, she even looked malnourished. The kid characters in the TPN farms were well-fed not only to 'taste nice', but bc a growing brain needs LOTS of nutrients to function, even moreso when it's being stimulated above capacity. With El being the only kid left in the lab, shouldn't Brenner and the staff have taken much more care of her health -if anything bc they wanted her to be 'a powerful weapon'?? sure, it might be possible that whenever she was thrown in the dark room she wasn't given any food for indefinite periods of time, as well as (maybe) the amount of drugs terry consumed during the pregnancy playing a part but, as i mentioned above, that would've been counterproductive to the lab's goals.

tl;dr: it makes little sense that el was that tiny and almost sickly-looking if she was supposed to be a well-kept weapon.

the small built overall, imo, rather makes me think of someone who grew up in poverty, who might have been denied meals depending on who was warding him -someone who continually didn't get enough nutrients for a very young age, i think. wbu?

Ahhh your brain!

CW/TW: Disordered eating and fatphobia

(Disordered eating has been a common theme within the show that we don't talk about enough.)

That manga sounds like it definitely could be inspiration for ST!

Being raised as human cattle to feed the demons... wowww. Thinking about how "Byers" means to live by a cattle shed, and of course the shed that Will vanished in. Also, all the cattle references throughout the show.

(Of course this makes me think of Hopper and the Russians being fed to be "plump" and "full of nutrients and protein that a growing monster might need".)

But yes yes YES, you're absolutely right! El was STARVING when we first see her I mean...

Why wouldn't they feed her enough? You're right it doesn't make sense. They have the funds to do so, and she's supposed to be a powerful weapon, arguably the most powerful!

El is small built just like... the boy who was explicitly said to be small. SO MUCH SO that they had him played by Noah Schnapp who is 2 whole years younger (!!!) than the other boys. They even tried to hide his muscles in ST4 to make him look less buff (sorry guys, Buff Byers isn't a canon concept...)

The Byers are poor, and this also isn't talked about enough. Joyce has been struggling with her mental health/working a lot. Jonathan also works and is forced to take on the role of a parent. And... Lonnie is implied to have an alcohol and substance use disorder and is obviously a neglectful parent (to say the least...)

Growing up, I think it's highly likely that Will was not provided with adequate nutrient...

(Hopper cracks open a walnut as he says this... walnuts resemble brains...)

Anyway, here's some likely ED references...

Why are all these references present? I'm not quite sure yet, but I do think it could be related to Will's warped view on food/diets (or maybe Mike's? Or both?). However, I definitely do think that Will was not cared for properly at times nor provided with adequate nutrition growing up... and that's why El (his alter) was starving when she appeared at Benny's Diner.

His parents forgot to feed him.

[mae-i-scribble]

My post on How I Attended and All Guys Mixer picked up a few more notes than I was expecting recently and it reminded me that I've been wanting to talk about how appreciative I am about how the series handles sexuality. I'll only be talking about the manga here bc I haven't seen the live action drama nor do I plan to. But I just think it's really neat that with our 3 male protags we get to see 3 very unique reactions to 1) learning that crossdressing is a thing and 2) how they in turn feel attraction wise.

I'll start off with Asagi as I feel his is the most straightforward in that he just takes everything in stride. Literally nothing phases him. Thanks to that he's the most nonchalant of the group, just chatting up and trying to make friends per usual. He's confused somewhat, but doesn't pay it any mind and just tries to get to know everyone as he would any other new friend. Personally, I can really see an aro/ace argument for Asagi due to the way he's just, completely unaffected and uninterested in the romantic ongoings around him. He compliments the girls and such but even when the manga is going pretty hard pushing its other pairings Asagi and Fuji truly just seem like good friends. I'm not delusional, this is a romance manga that from the get-go clearly has these pairings in mind to all get together romantically, but until it happens I can gaslight myself into believing my aroace truth (is coping so bad).

Going from most chill about everything to 2nd most chill we have Tokiwa. Tokiwa is an interesting case in that he's polite to such a degree that he does his best to mask his initial confusion and shock (to the extent that yknow, a comedy manga will allow). Though it doesn't really work because he is very overwhelmed by the situation at hand. However, I don't think this is attributed to the girls' crossdressing alone in the same way that Hagi can't get over his initial shock of the concept. Tokiwa's chief concern isn't the "weirdness" of it all but the fact that he came here expecting a meet cute with a cute girl and instead is getting a meet cute with someone equally as charming but with none of the reserved attitude we see Suo have while she's fem-presenting. My boy is not worried about gender norms he is worried for his sanity due to the attractive person flirting with him.

Honestly, this panel here implies that he finds masc-presenting Suo even more attractive. The fact that he even tries to reassure himself that because Suo is a woman this situation is less flustering is very interesting. Not that it does anything. Pouring one out for Tokiwa for real. As the manga goes on, Tokiwa gives off the vibe of someone who is comfortable with his sexuality enough that the gender presentation of the person he likes is irrelevant, both are attractive to him in different ways. Again, while Suo's crossdressing is a point of interest in the sense that it's not something he understands or gets intuitively, he doesn't have nearly the same level of crisis as Hagi does. His attraction to Suo is never questioned- rather it seems to be a question of whether or not he thinks Suo is genuine in her flirting.

And our last boy is Hagi, poor beloved Hagi who is having the time of his life trying to figure out that hey, sometimes people don't dress or present stereotypically. It's a rough life for you Hagi. However, his inner conflict is very gripping. I find his reaction and subsequent coming to terms with the idea of crossdressing a very realistic take on the subject much more akin to your average person being introduced to everything for the first time. It never feels mean spirited even if Hagi can be offensive in this thoughts and comments at first- it's born from a place of genuine confusion, both towards himself and towards the girls. Hagi falling in love with Kohaku, while a little to rife with misunderstandings for my taste, I think is a wonderful narrative of how even being straight doesn't mean that there is one way to feel attraction. While Kohaku throws around the idea of him being bi due to him being attracted to Kohaku while she's masc-presenting, Suo best sums it up when she says that it's not about the words or the looks, its about who it's coming from. And given that we haven't seen Hagi struggle with this from anyone else, it's a safe bet to say he likes Kohaku as masc-presenting, not necessarily masc-presenting people or men in general. Attraction as a fluid concept is something most straight romance stories, let alone a comedy based one, seldom bother to explore along the gender spectrum. Hagi's struggle to understand himself and what his attraction to Kohaku means to him personally is such an interesting take that it elevates the entire storyline out of miscommunication hell almost (just almost).

Idk idk this feels like a very silly rant to have but I do in fact love this manga more than a reasonable amount and this is definitely one of the top reasons for it. I would love for it to get a bit more attention but I shall settle for rereading it for the 20th time I suppose

[petruchio]

i enjoyed reading sotr bc it felt like reading thg for the first time again, i’m a sucker for prequels (asterid and burdock ;-;) and i love seeing the immediate lead-up to the main story and getting another look at what daily life in 12 was like

that being said. i think all of the criticism is 100% fair. all that and the pacing is weird to me. i haven’t seen anyone talk about the pacing can we talk about the pacing

talking to my friend i made the comparison to a new hope/the force awakens in that it’s kind of repeating itself & i agree especially with the annoyance at suzanne collins being lauded as a political commentator. i had fun but it was certainly nothing that hadn’t already been said

ok spiel over. rip maysilee donner u would have loved elle woods

yeah the force awakens is honestly a good comparison. it also gives me stranger things season 3 where like season 1 and 2 were good and season 2 built off the first in an interesting and expansive way and then season 3 was like. BIG MONSTER MALL IDK.

and yeah i mean i’m glad the reading experience was fun for other people. maybe i’ve just spent so many hours of my life reading hunger games fanfiction that the experience of going back to 12 or the capitol or the games just wasn’t enough for me, but I CAN UNDERSTAND that obsessive fanfic dorks online were not *technically* the target audience of this book. (we kinda were for tbosas though argue with the wall…) (THE BOOK.)

and yeah the pacing was bad. like it’s annoying bc the pacing is one of the things i think sc either does EXTREMELY WELL (see: the original thg, the first gregor book) or EXTREMELY POORLY (see: mockingjay, the end of tbosas the book, … whatever sotr was) i think it’s in large part because of her background in theater and screen, and her love of the 3 act structure which i feel like means that when it works it WORKS like a well-oiled machine but when it doesn’t�� it feels jammed together and things get rushed or stretched out for the sake of filling the act rather than the time they should or warrant taking. if that makes sense.

i don’t get so annoyed about sc being heralded as a political commentator because i think the social and political criticism and messaging in the original trilogy is still salient and thoughtful, and i don’t think there’s anything wrong with using fiction or stories as a proxy to discuss and clarify our worldviews — it’s not a replacement for actual coherent action, but i think it’s fine to discuss media and politics (all art is political, etc.)

but i DO find it strange that, in context of ALL OF THAT, that everyone seems to be pretending they can’t see the very obvious capitali$$$t motivation for this book’s writing and creation and immediately announced movie deal. it’s like talking about taylor swift doing ttpd, like okay sure she had something to say. she also saw a huge paycheck and it’s the roaring 2020s and nobody, especially not your favorite artist who is sitting on millions of dollars and millions of rabid fans begging them for more, is creating art of art’s sake right now. (ok some people are and im being hyperbolic but. come on guys.)

that’s the part that leaves such a sour taste in my mouth i guess. but i feel like that may be my own artistic cynicism and distrust of franchises and media conglomerates in the 21st century and my general distaste for art that exists to capitalize on an existing fanbase of an existing IP until the original beauty of the art piece self cannibalizes into near-parody rather than creators and artists and (especially famous ones) using their platforms and freedom and wealth to create and uplift fresh, exciting, new stories.

but hey. i’ve lived through two needless rebooted star wars movie franchises. i blogged through the entire heroes of olympus era. i’ve watched every disney live action remake except snow white (IM SORRY RACHEL ZEGLER ily but i had bronchitis), i watched stranger things season 4, i watched the satc reboot, i even confess to at times genuinely enjoying aos star trek. that’s life. that’s being a fan. the bittersweet truth is there would be nothing to cannibalize and parody and ruin if it wasn’t so beloved in the first place. great art will always exist. popular art will also always exist. occasionally those two beautiful galaxies collide and we get magic.

[midnight--sadness]

i dont want to be negative in your inbox, but how do you feel about the way in-ho has kind of been victimized sometimes?

i feel like sometimes this fandom forgets just how cruel he is, and they try to make him secretly a good guy somehow. idk maybe im evil but i dont care all too much about him wallowing (it depends what its about bc im not gonna pretend like he isnt a tragic character. hes by all means human and has been partially victimized and taken advantage of). he got himself in his own mess. i guess as a gi-hun lover and jung-bae enjoyer, i cant bring myself to fall for this whumpification. and i can honestly understand why people may hate him or 457 for these reasons.

even though i dont sound like it, i really have a love for in ho and appreciate his writing. i think he deserves, like all characters, to be looked at like a bug under a microscope because he is a very interesting man. that being said, I can find myself hoping for a redemption arc or ever defending/forgiving a single thing he did.

this isn't negative at all!! there are loads of stuff in this fandom that i find annoying so feel free to complain in my inbox 🫶🙏

i completely understand where you coming from and i even agree to a point. i talked here about how i think people villainize gihun and try to put him in the same category as inho when that just isn't reality.

i think people forget that inho is meant to tbe antagonist. he is very clearly portrayed as being "the bad guy". now, i'm not saying that he can't have positive aspects to his personality or that he is wholly evil either.

but i think woobifying inho and removing his agency from his decisions is such a disservice to his character. inho is a bad person. there is no way to disguise that. his actions are bad, his beliefs are bad. and that's okay.

like you said, he got himself into his own mess. he joined the games and won them because he need the money and, in that sense, he is a victim of the capitalist society we live in (just like everyone else who plays the games). but after that, the decision to become front man is his own. people can argue that we don't know for sure, but we also don't know if he was forced; everything points to inho joining the management of the games of his own free will. his wife and child were dead, he had lost his job, he was broken and angry and bitter.

after that, every single mistake and crime he committed are on his shoulders. inho spent years watching 455 die in the games. he did nothing to stop them. hell, he even agrees that they should die and calls them "garbage".

this isn't a man who is going to change his mind any time soon. and i think his ending, i.e. his death, will reflect that. i think inho will sacrifice himself, either for junho and/or gihun (this one is more with shipping goggles on but i don't think we can ignore that obvious connection these characters have), and not for the players or their wellbeing. even his sacrifice will be "selfish" because he will be doing it someone he loves and not for others' lives or to end the games.

(very much, vader killing palpatine to save luke. he did it for his son, not for the resistance or to destroy the empire.)

people can ship and not ship whatever they want, as long as no one is being shamed for their choice. i don't even know if i'm gonna continue shipping inhun after s3, so i understand the jungbae and gihun fans who don't ship them.

generally, i think people need to learn that you can love a villain AND admit that they are villains. it doesn't make you a bad person or morally corrupt, it just means you have good taste 💖

[i-eat-deodorant]

Tell me about your onions.

here's an onion. i'm so funny.

ahem.

ok real talk though i've been doing a couple brief dives into the reincarnation aspect of buddhism/hinduism, which haven't been super applicable to COTL so far. which is a shame, bc it has such an interesting take on rebirth and resurrection within the nature of religion.

in COTL, death is seen as semi-permanent and a boon. lamb uses it to their advantage via the nature of game protagonists being able to restart from a save point when they died. the ritual of resurrection is groundbreaking for followers, and i headcanon that the ritual of rebirth is the main reason why TOWW got imprisoned. it is very much a loaded gun in the COTL world.

but buddhism treats rebirth as not only a nature of living, but something that needs to be escaped from. literally something that one must fight to be unshackled from, to break past samsara and reach ascension via nirvana. it's such an interesting viewpoint to consider and explore, especially bc my interpretation of lamb has them never being willing to become this resurrecting figure in the first place. as much as the red crown has been a boon for them, it's also acted as a bind. they will always have both their mortal and godly vices.

in both hinduism and buddhism there are multiple schools of thought that tackle the continuuity of resurrection, aka "what is carried over when one is reborn?"

now suppose narinder did not carry everything he had as TOWW to his mortal form. what is lost, and what is gained?

if i were to adapt samsara into my cotl fics i'd focus less on actual death and more on metaphorical ones. which, ok bear with me here, is a huge part of my personal philosophy.

humans are not static; we grow and develop, and in doing so we shed prior versions of ourselves like metamorphosis. a sort of ego death lite, if you will. when faced with a traumatic event, the person you once were is not the same as the person you are now. that is the kind of metaphorical death i'm talking about; the death of a former self.

but what exactly marks the new self and the old self? nothing, theoretically. we can make the boundary as low or as high as we want.

consider the ship of theseus: if a huge portion of my body is replaced every 7 years, can i definitely say i am who i was 7 years ago? what part of identity and self stays constant, when my personality's changed drastically? am i a stranger with the memories of someone else?

now narrow the boundary. if the self is physically static, then every time a cell dies, the self dies.

using that technical definition, technically i die and am reborn every single second. a metaphorical death and a metaphorical rebirth, and what gets carried over?

something something life and death are two sides of the coin of change.

that's why i kinda keep emphasizing lamb's impostor syndrome crisis about themselves dying in both soul and body during the execution. that's why i divide narinder's life into such stark epochs (mortal, bishop, imprisoned, mortal again). that's why i love treating their afterlife not as a continuity of their character development, but a second chance. ship of theseus, broken down and rebuilt anew.

it's not nirvana. but it's making the best out of your own personal samsara.

and just. there's something so poetic about narinder and lamb reincarnating as gods of death, because the only way to die repeatedly is to live again after each one. a taste of permanence in the impermanent, without ever reaching that finality that they embody as gods. they represent the very thing they are and aren't. it's a paradox that makes perfect sense the moment you remove the black-and-white boundary of life/death that dictates they must be opposites.

and this is what i love exploring. breaking down the barriers of identity and death in the metaphysical sense, in two characters who are defined by so much loss in their lives. (metaphorical) death, treated as redemption, treated as healing.

lamb, offering a hand up to a newly reborn narinder. i died, i got up, and i live.

[lord-squiggletits]

For the Salty Asks (forgive us for the avalanche, if it's too many you can pick your top three): 2, 9, 10, 11, 13 (Optimus), 20, 25 (IDW1), 26

uhhh honestly I feel a bit like a hermit who's out of the loop on what's popular/unpopular so some of these might be completely off the mark but here we go

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

Mmmm I think most of my brotp's aren't shipped as OTPs to start with, so I dunno if I have any that fit this question.

Guess the closest example for me would be OPli/ta. I don't actively platonically ship them but I think platonic is way more interesting than romantic. I don't like the fandom's interpretation of romantic O/Plita at all + I feel like as one of the original "token woman" Autobots, I'd like to see Elita unshackled from Optimus as a love interest, esp because any official interpretation of them is probably gonna be written extremely heteronormatively/token romance between an action hero and The Girl. And the fanon version of them that's Strong Independent Girlboss Elita with whipped simp husbnad Optimus is just as boring and gross.

I just don't like the vibes and would rather them have some sort of friendly or regular relationship together.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

IDW1 Slide, who I've gone into detail about my hatred of in several posts, but the TLDR is that she comes off as some kind of mouthpiece character? Not a mouthpiece as in for the author's beliefs, but it literally feels like she only exists to shit on Optimus and call him a piece of shit. Her dialogue is so cheesily written ("literally fascism" is an actual thing she says) and her bitching/lack of cultural comprehension about Cybertronian history is so prevalent, that for a long time during my IDW1 reading I was genuinely confused as to whether she was supposed to be some sort of parody/strawman/mockery of someone IRL (her character comes off almost EXACTLY like an anti-SJW stereotype of a screeching harpy calling everyone she dislikes a fascist, and it's only Barber's very obviously left-leaning writing in other parts of the story that told me that definitely wasn't the intent). So then I was wondering "okay is she gonna like, randomly become evil and turn against the good guys because she's just that petty? I mean she spends all of her time bitching about how Optimus/the Autobots/Cybertronians in general are the worst ever and she also hates humans too so I mean maybe? Half of this story already doesn't make sense so I can see it happening."

Thankfully that didn't happen, but like. Slide is so goddamn annoying and ignorant and gets way too much page time dedicated to her angry monologuing (in Unicron aka the finale of IDW1 there's literally a whole half page panel of her bitching about how Optimus is an evil tyrant while Trypticon is dying behind her and it comes off as a poorly timed, bad taste joke). The narrative treats her like she's some important individual whose feelings are important and valid, but she's fucking annoying. Any sympathy she was meant to garner is canceled out by badly written dialogue and the fact that she's a Literal Nobody of a character who seemingly only exists to bash the decades old, beloved legacy characters. For the sake of, idk, talking about how fucked up Cybertronians are that they just shrug and move on when people die? Bc apparently it's some sort of sin to be numb after 4 million years of war (and war that's literally still ongoing while Slide is bitching) and just soldier on trying to get through it? God forbid that a military hierarchy fighting to keep neo-Decepticons and various other alien threats from colonizing Earth be run like a military in which orders have to be followed, people die, but you still have to keep fighting anyways? Idefk man I just hate Slide so much she's basically the embodiment of all of the bad aspects of Barber's writing personified.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Mutineers arc in MTMTE/LL. I feel like (whether due to early cancellation and/or JRO wasting time on too many side plots to give it its full depth), I dislike how the mutineers were basically boiled down to pure evil morons who are the most disgusting, despicable evil ever and the only reason the mutiny had Good Guys (TM) in it was because they were horribly misled and not because, you know, the mutiny was 100% a valid thing to have happened as retaliation against Rodimus and Megatron's captaincy.

Like, I'm not opposed to the idea of Getaway and his cronies being assholes (I personally thought Getaway was a GREAT slow-burn, puppet master villain/anti-hero), I just dislike how the quality of their writing degraded from MTMTE to LL. Felt like they (Getaway in particular) got passed the Idiot Ball and then the actual reasons behind the mutiny were never addressed, it was kind of just "oh Getaway died horribly so we're all friends now and we forgive each other and Rodimus/Megatron will just go back to being captains now."

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

You mean besides IDW Optimus because anyone who's been on my blog for like 5 seconds knows he's my biggest problematic fave skldfjskd

Uhhh I guess in the spirit of the previous question, Getaway. I feel like the fandom's hatred for him is overblown mainly bc it's a combination of Tailgate/Cyga/te fans going "HE GOT IN THE WAY OF C/YGA/TE AND ALMOST KILLED THAT PRECIOUS CINNAMON ROLL" and Rodimus or Megatron stans going "Getaway hates my fave?? But my fave is a good captain and deserves the world HE'S EVIL MY FAVORITE IS BEYOND CRITICISM OR REPROACH GETAWAY IS THE EMBODIMENT OF EVIL."

Like to me it seems as if the hate for Getaway isn't normal dislike or even people hating him because he's a well written villain. It feels weirdly like ppl really take Getaway's actions personally and hate him with the kind of passion you normally see reserved for actual real life horrible people. Or they like, see Getaway as an obstacle to [favorite character]'s happiness and not as an individual who, before the quality of his writing tanked, was actually an interesting character who maybe even had good points? It just feels like people mainly hate Getaway because he's the antagonist to more popular characters/ships and so they project their defense of their faves into virulently hating him.

13. Unpopular opinion about (Optimus)?

Honestly 90% or more of the fan content I see for Optimus is really boring/uncompelling to me, or really just comes off as out of character. It's either Optimus being reduced to an accessory to be shipped with someone (usually turned into some sort of moe cutesy uke type) or him being turned into.... idk some permutation of "feral irresponsible gremlin" or "One Of The Good Ones (TM)" or "anxiety-ridden damsel who needs to be rescued by his lover" or, in some circles, "character I project my issues with authority onto and try to frame as evil for things that aren't even evil."

Idk how to specifically describe it, it's just... a vibe? Most of the Optimus content I see doesn't actually feel like him at all. It feels like it's Optimus/Orion in name only, who got so separated from canon and distorted by fanon/flanderization/shipping/porn stereotypes that he now only vaguely resembles the character he's supposed to be.

20. What is the purest ship in the fandom?

Ahahaha I don't really go into the realm of pure ships honestly, plus this is the war criminal fandom where pretty much every character has killed people or committed crimes or is just generally scarred by war so uhhh

Idk I think Thundercracker/Melissa is a pretty hinged ship? They get along and cope surprisingly well with all the shit that happens. There's no angst or betrayals or misunderstandings or enemies, they're just very respectfully together. Sdfklsajfksd

25. How would you end (IDW1)/Would you change the ending of (IDW1)?

Honestly, I'm pretty satisfied with the ending of IDW1 on both sides of the story. On Barber's side I would've preferred if every single planet including Cybertron didn't get fucking eaten leaving them all stuck on Earth together, and I would've also kept Trypticon alive while... minimizing Slide's role, to say the least. I don't have a problem with Optimus' ending bc I actually think that Optimus' arc in Unicron is like, one of the few 1000% good things Barber wrote for him it's just. It's pure Optimus in his best form.

On JRO's side I would've cut out the last panel with the alternate Lost Light and left it ambiguous as to whether the quantum jump successfully copied the ship or not. I dislike the vibes of the canon ending that implied that everyone moving on with their lives (almost universally to new and exciting and happier places) was the "sad" ending and going on a permanent road trip is the "true, happy" ending. In the author's notes I think JRO said that he wanted to give the readers an ending that would allow them to imagine their faves continuing to go on adventures, but I think compromising a good ending to a story to appease fans is fucking stupid + fandom has never needed permission or approval from the author to write alternate, happy endings. So why ruin a poignant, melancholy ending about how endings come with new beginnings and sadness/nostalgia can be mixed with hope and happiness by going "sike lol they're all living happily ever after on their space cruise."

Also I wouldn't have randomly killed off Ratchet for no reason because like. What was that even supposed to accomplish. I'm no stranger to writing major character deaths but like. He just fucking died of disease off-screen and that was that??? Why, like what was the narrative/symbolic purpose of that besides just making the ending more sad? Maybe to emphasize how going back to Cybertron was the "bad ending" and the quantum Lost Light is the "good ending" since on the LL Ratchet is still alive? But see the paragraph above for why I don't like that.

26. Most shippable character?

The most shippable character to me is whichever character I think is the sexiest, because if I think they're sexy it makes me want to ship them with everyone. "Guards, fuck that man for me" etc etc. Lmao

[system-comforts]

i’m questioning if i’m a system but i really have no idea? like i have some stuff that might be system-y but it also might be nothing idk.

to preface the next bit i’m not asking you to like. definitively tell me if i’m a system or something obviously !! i just want to get it all off my chest i guess asfjdgk

reasons i feel like i might be a system:

-> i have different “modes” where i sometimes type differently + my gender feels different (like not by a lot, it’s always masc but different microlabels) + i prefer different names and sometimes different pronouns. …take a shot every time i say different lmao (/joke)

-> i definitely dissociate sometimes and i have memory issues that i think go past what’s normal for adhd? (diagnosed)

-> in like 9th-10th grade i split myself into three “parts” (trans guy part (13-14), kind of in suspended animation/asleep all day and sometimes awake/in control at night while i was on tumblr. bigender part (14-15), handled regular life stuff like being around school and family, the “main” one. cis woman part (18) who perpetuated/handled a very unhealthy/traumatic “coping mechanism” we had at the time. only ever in control while we were engaging in the thing she handled. originally i kept her in a locked room the rest of the time, eventually i let her out and after that she’d like hang around taunting us all day.)

reasons i might not be:

-> i always feel like /me/, just a different me sometimes

-> i haven’t talked to/been aware of an actual different part of myself since about 10th or maybe 11th grade. the closest i’ve been is like. feeling like i was nobody/a kind of indistinct mush idk and thinking about me (one specific “mode” of me) as a separate person. but it wasn’t like he was actually there as a tangible presence, i just felt like he existed separately. like when someone else lives in your house but they’re out running errands or something so they’re not currently there if that makes sense?

-> like i said, i have a tendency to kinda just steal personality traits from characters i like. right now i’m in. i’ll say sunshine mode bc i don’t wanna put one of my actual names on here. but suffice to say it’s a similar personality to a “golden retriever” character i’m fixated on

-> i also tend to kinda steal personality traits from people i’m around a lot and one of the friends i’m spending a lot of time with rn is a system so i could be unconsciously copying him

-> the dissociation and memory issues could just be from my depression

Hey there anon, we're glad you felt you could vent about all this to us. We also appreciate the preface, since it's definitely true. It seems like you've been considering this question for a while and put in a lot of thought. What you sent made me think of a few questions. Although I can't say yes or no, I hope some of these questions can give you more food for thought.

Experiencing dissociation, especially more than typical for people or for a disorder, is definitely something to consider when questioning plurality. I would be curious, are there certain times or situations where dissociation happens more or less? Are there certain times or situations when memory loss is more likely? How much and what kind of things can you remember? Skills? Personal facts?

During these different modes, when you prefer different names and pronouns, and type differently, what else is different? Perspectives on the world? Values and beliefs? General interests and tastes? These sorts of things may not change as much, or may change more slowly, for someone who isn't plural. However, this may also be different for young people, who are still finding and building their identity. The sense of feeling "like me, just a different me sometimes" could be from plurality, from other disorders (ex masking), or even just a feeling of being young and growing. I would talk with others in different communities, talk with peers, systems, other neurodivergences. Talk about this feeling, see what they say, and try to find what resonates most with you.

Can you listen to these different parts? Perhaps not direct communication, but do you feel an "foreign" impulses, persistent thoughts that seem to come from nowhere or not yourself?

As one last question, does viewing yourself as part of a system help you understand yourself? Is it a helpful framework, does it make sense, does it fit? Does it help you learn about yourself, or does it still feel not right or limiting, or does it ignore other important information?

I hope some of this helped. It seems you've been working hard at this, so we wish you luck as you continue to question this. Know that it's ok to not know, and it's ok to explore the system community as you continue to question.

-mod saturn

[imustbenuts]

Do u have any personal Kiran headcanons for your own Kiran?

:x... uhhh......

okay. get ready.

my hc is that kiran is, objectively speaking, a demigod of sorts.

if you ever watched re:creators or read some stuff about the gnostics or even some christian studies level of stuff then it might make sense immediately what im talking about.

basically: kiran isn't human in the same way that everyone else in the FE verse is. i hc they're really just a regular everyday person, who happens to be a FE nerd with a good head on their shoulders whisked away into a the FEverse.

but kiran isn't really a god. in shorthand, they're similar to an angel or a deva. they dont partake in the creation of the FEverse (thats intsys' job), but they partake in the indulgence side of it all. and they might be interested enough that it becomes a media they happily consume. and that consumption of the media by the audience in turn supports the cycle of creation for more FE and thus FEverse gets expanded like that

very meta. and like in gnosticsm or even christianity the God that spawns creation and fate is unknowable. they are so unknowable that the creation they spawn doesnt even know if they are god or a creation capable of further creation, and creates more unknowing of the fact that these creation becomes actualized in some form out there in the vast infinity of whatever

so you know like. when we like blorbo/s so much we kinda. put them in situations. because. drama is fun. watching the blorbos struggle is fun. watching them overcoming stuff is fun.

and although i mention we partake as audiences, our combined taste does have influence over the process of creation. for example, awakening wouldnt exist if intsys didnt get desperate and shoved everything they think might appeal to audiences into the game, and thereby gain our approval, effectively granting the right for the rest of FE to exist.

so combine the two above and. isekai. oops.

kiran now looks like a psychopathic admirer of the FE heroes who gets their rocks off watching actual people struggle. woah! the bigger the struggle, the more entertaining it is, the better the payoff, and so it gets really difficult to be even normal about the heroes.

maybe kiran doesnt see FE characters as actualized people in the beginning. maybe they negotiate with themselves about the dissonance of it all. maybe at some point they realize, "this is fucked up, actually. i can't be gleeful about hearing these people talk about their troubles and worries while knowing what fates are in store for them."

but in some parts, that gleefulness doesnt ever go away. the fact that they know doesnt go away. the knowing in itself becomes a curse, and the distance is permanent. even if they like them, bc hey, the reason why they know all these info is bc kiran loves the blorbos enough to read up on all of them!

combined that with them being capable of summoning multiple copies of the same heroes. what does that mean for the relationship they might form? they know every marth, but does every marth know them? can the marths even begin to form a proper understanding or relationship? what if another marth comes? what then?

multiply that by like. 500. yikes.

the only exception to all of these are the Heroes natives ofc. alfonse and sharena is their strongest anchor because they can be normal with them. but, the siblings are not at all immune to the FEverse MC tropey fates that awaits, and so kiran's brain runs on predictive mode trying to avoid this and that.

but despite their best efforts, they cant prevent fate. they cant prevent gustav from dying and protect one of the few people they care about from getting hurt.

so they try even harder. bc their prev world has drilled in the idea of meritocracy so much, the idea of productivity at all cost under capitalism, and gave them the skillset to learn on the fly that failure is not an option.

kiran might have been a person with their life barely beginning back home.

in that world before, their identity was built up over 2 decades by the people surrounding them, blood or otherwise. and everything they interacted with there defined their identity. they can share and talk about things they encountered in games normally. there is normalcy here. logic here.

but once in the world of FEheroes, all that built up in 20 years becomes nothing and twisted. their identity folds into itself. their knowledge is a curse. their friendships are the weight of entire suns. there is insanity here, and indulgence and people with delicious dramatic stories to consume and hear at every corner if they so politely asked. in return, they would offer knowledge and counsel. (they wouldnt, ofc. so no heroes really gets to know them in full. look directly into the sun and be blinded, its kinda shitty like that)

and breidablik gives them power. to control, to contract, to plant suggestions. the heroes know, the specifics of the contract ofc, bc thats ethical. being morally upright to the heroic universe they love so much was never in question. so they play the part of the friendly summoner, let the heroes believe in their goodwill, bc the other option is to be truthful and get close and consume.

alfonse and sharena becomes their everything. jailer, god, summoner, champion, curse, blessing, friends, to protect at all cost, to give themselves to for whatever they desire. their reason for existing and continuing.

and if kiran fails, if alfonse or sharena gets twisted, then, well. the identity of evreyone's friendly cheerful summoner would have to get redefined, wouldnt it?

[riacte]

Part of the weirdness about m/f ships feels like this kind of performativity from insecure queer teens? At least I think so based on my own experiences. I've always been a big multishipper who likes f/f m/m m/f and any other kind of ship equally but there was awhile where I felt kinda ashamed if I liked a m/f ship "too much" bc I felt like I wasn't gay enough. Like I wasn't queer enough if I didn't ship gay ships enough. Even now (tho I've gotten better) I still feel this obligation to keep the ratios of ship fics I read "even" so I can prove I'm still a good queer. I think in my case it's probably part of my internalized biphobia (since I feel a similar obligation to make I prove I have attraction to all genders and am really bi "enough" in my actual daily life) and it's a similar feeling of stress at having to constantly police your own identity/attraction/interests.

It's unfortunate that this kind of insecurity in how queer we are seems so common in queer people especialky those of us who are young one w/out much actual dating experience (who make a large part of this fandom. This sort of "who even ships m/f lol gay ships only" I've seen others in this fandom doing feels very much like a way of coping with that insecurity, by proving you're gay enough through your ships. I'm sure there are plenty of people who simply are just not interested in m/f but I'm sure there are also others like me, trying to prove we're queer enough by carefully curating our fandom interests.

My thoughts on m/f ships is that the end of the day, shipping is just shipping. It doesn't actually necessarily say much about your sexuality or what you actually want in a relationship and certainly doesn't mean you're less queer.

(Obviously there are other factors too in the weird attitude ppl in the mcyt fandom have about m/f ships, but this is one that has affected me a lot and I've never seen anyone else talk about it so I wanted to bring it up. Idk I hope I made sense)

Thanks for the ask! It was really nice seeing this as a bi person who heavily mains m/f and sometimes feels bad for it (I also main friendships but I mained m/f reallllly hard pre 2020 aka. before this fandom).

Yeah, I feel like it could also be like "we see so much m/f in real life so we should go hard on the other options to even it out". This fandom specifically there's been problems of irl truthing in comments so I completely understand why people shy from it, but it's 2024, we're quite developed in the character vs cc divide, shipping m/f isn't the end of the world.

I do feel guilt over maining m/f (then liking f/f and m/m, in that order, yes Treebark is the exception and my first m/m that I really got into), like for a looong time I was pretty sure it was just terrible heteronormativity that I needed to kill, but now I feel like it's a mix of heteronormativity (which I fight like daily lmfao) and just. being attracted to men and women both. Because when I write m/f, I can write about being attracted to women and men all in one neat package. And it feels "equal" to me. I do tend to prefer pieces of media with an equal gender ratio, or at least the leads are (eg. Miraculous Ladybug (my ex fandom lmao), Kagerou Project (ex fandom, stares into the distance), Spy x Family, Assassination Classroom) so I can love male and female characters. When reading fics, I like reading about loving a man from a woman's pov and loving a woman from a man's pov. Even in HC with its highly uneven gender ratio, this manifests in the corner I've tucked myself into (False, Ren, Stress, Iskall, etc). Although I do also like media with mostly female characters - Love Live (another ex fandom lol), Precure, Madoka Magica, Nikkiverse - and I do read stuff, I just don't really write for them because I wanna write about girls AND guys. Shippy or not. And this leads me to main m/f a lot. That's my personal taste.

Side note: as a kid, I was frustrated by media aimed at boys which had like a whole cast of boys and one token (cardboard cutout) girl AND media aimed at girls which had a whole cast of girls and almost no boys. 9yo me in co-ed school was like "well this doesn't feel very pro gender equality, I want books with the same amount of boys AND girls :((((( oh wait. I can just write it." And.... it ended up defining what I write now? Even outside of shipping, I like m+f friendships a lot. Because I still get to write about a guy and a girl even if they don't kiss or whatever. Idk. Am I cursed with an extreme case of heteronormativity and / or internalised homophobia or am I bisexual. Maybe both. Idk.

Maybe I do have boring stupid milquetoast hetero taste whatever but I'm having a good time in my fandoms and my ships / dynamics. I like writing about my guys and girls and I'll keep on doing it. And I am queer. I am bisexual. This doesn't change.

Anyways watching HTTYD at a young age changed me. Hiccstrid you will always be my origin story <3

Thanks for the ask again! We don't have to prove our queerness because we are queer. Everyone has different tastes. And m/f does get a bad reputation in queer spaces because oftentimes it's done badly and ofc the enemy.... heteronormativity [evil].

Final note re sibling fanon: if you have to turn friends into siblings just to show you're not shipping, you are coming back to heteronormativity. Why can't a (straight) man and a (straight) woman be friends only. What assumptions are you making?

[deathlonging]

hi!! you've mentioned i who have never known men in your tags and i'm curious what are your general thoughts on it? because personally i've found it disappointingly lacking in... everything with the book failing to comment on gender, violence & isolation

but maybe you have different thoughts you wouldn't mind to share? sorry if you talked about it already!!

hi yes !! i think i've talked abt never known men in the ask game re books that disappointed me lol. i didn't go into it expecting much but i did hope for internally consistent logics, a strong sense of alienation, and good gender commentary, if nothing else. again i'm not like sci fi girl it's one place where the signifiers simply don't hit for me. but this seemed like a story set up in my tastes' favor which inevitably led to a feeling of being let down rip. i liked how lonesome our narrator felt, very armand voice "i push against the glass. but how do i get in?" and i thought the lack of explanation of the premise was great. but in every other respect it kind of fell apart for me. the prose was lackluster. the alienation was built up, hit its peak with the deaths she was able to give to each suffering woman, and then just went nowhere thematically. she had no real conflict with the women or with herself; these warring ways of life were just reconciled by her waiting for everyone to die. you could say her contribution to the community in the form of death perhaps drove home her separation from them but to me it never read like that. it read like a bridge. the novel does not seem to commit to its themes at all, likes to keep to their most basic interpretations--in that way the story is put first, but there isn't much to the story without a shining protagonist mired in isolation, is there? the titular line in context wasn't even interesting--how does it matter that this girl did not know men? the discovery of the rooms of men is framed the exact same way as the rest. there are the shallowest mentions of life back when the rest of her cohort lived with men--again, the ease of adjustment could serve as commentary if the author could have stopped using the narrator's detachment as an excuse for her own poor characterization and worldbuilding.

and don't even get me started on gender ! there is no attempt made to contextualize the protagonist's alienation from the rest of the women, emotionally, personally, in terms of ambition and sentiment, or situate it in a gendered context. i hate how the author falls into the bioessentialism of No True Violence in this women's commune, god no, despite everything isn't it beautiful our protagonist grew up surrounded by this support, this romance of understanding, even. but let's not talk about the construction of romance here, about desire or lesbianism, let's frame our protagonist as a voyeur of humanity but then fail miserably at having anything real to say about social technologies, or ideologies of imprisonment, or a purposeful reorientation of gendered living. i keep thinking about the part where she sees the bus of dead security guards, does a little investigation that goes nowhere, and again it was so, so, individualized. obviously the part everyone's talking about is the part where she realizes she's human at the end, but it fell flat for me bc her reasons for a claim to humanity were again so poorly constructed. can we commit to one (1) theme here. i remember reading titus groan and calling it a bloodless book because of the lack of catharsis. i think i would assign the same comment to this book, but unlike titus, here i mean it as derogatorily as i possibly can. bone dry novella !

it wasn't a coincidence that i mentioned never let me go in the same breath. now that's how you do a story of dehumanization and passivity. that's how you stop framing love as an innate human goodness and slowly, steadily, demonstrate its role as a product of allyship and endurance instead; no solution, only a kind of lens. been a while since i read it but it remains one of the books of all time tbh and it succeeds in every area where never known men fails.

[itsbrucey]

Just wanted to say I SEE the bigtop burger pfp and I NEED to talk about it because I love this show so much it's so funny the lore is so compelling and the CHARACTERS ARE SO GOOD OH MY GOD I tried to force my friends and family to watch it but none of them GOT IT (except my twin he's a real one)

YOU HAVE. NO FUCKING IDEA THE BEAST YOU JUST UNLEASHED /POS

here. Excuse me I'm gonna do a quick cut bc I'm gonna ramble

I'VE BEEN. OBSESSED. WITH BIGTOP BURGER FOR 3 STRAIGHT YEARS. SINCE JUNE 2020. my outward interest dips between releases bc public content takes a while to come out ofc but I AM ALWAYS. DOWN TO TALK BIGTOP BURGER

I was really ( and still am) into the theory crafting side of BTB and most of it is safely locked in friends discord servers but I fucking. Adore all of the characters and the world Worthi puts into to make the narrative SO INTERESTING AND JUST. OUT THERE.

Down + Friends in Low Places being such outward character lore songs for Cesare and then Up COMING IN WITH THE STEEL CHAIR FOR STEVE IN THE LASTEST S2 EPISODE. GOD IT'S GENIUS. What a fucking whimsical show. It's also my current running theory that the Underground/Jail Steve is in is going to be Beetlejuice themed based on the black and white pinstripe suit of the unnamed character we saw in the pan-down, as well as the running theme of musicals and Cats with Steve! The monsters/demons/undead/"Upper Management" having a Beetlejuice theme would make sense or at the very least.....be very fun. Not really a theory but a hope but I really want to see the other "no-ones" Cesare references... Or at least their fate

My fav characters are Penny, Steve, and Conrad bc. If you know me You Know I Have Specific Tastes. Also fun fact but Penny and Conrad's VAs? Lindsay and Alex Small-Butera?? MARRIED. AND THE PEOPLE BEHIND SMALLBÜ ANIMATION AND I FOUND THAT OUT AND WENT INSANE. RECENTLY DID WORK FOR FIONNA AND CAKE BUT ALSO DID LATER ALLIGATOR AND WORKED ON THE OWL HOUSE AND AMPHIBIA AND ADVENTURE TIME??????? I'm absolutely in love with them it's. Wow. Powerhouses, actually.

+ I'm a big fan of Wire and I can't remember if Worthi confirmed if it was related to BTB or not ( I've seen sources say that it isn't connected but I think tweets got deleted?) And I'm the only Big J and Penny shipper to exist.

+ I have 4 tattoo ideas I want to do in the future and one of them is a bigtop burger tattoo. I was meaning to do more sketches but one concept was a forearm tattoo of Captain J, Big J, and Little J sliding down a wire!

I've managed to get my girlfriend + friends to watch it and that's honestly all I can ask of people. Like if you're reading this and haven't seen bigtop burger or wire......well for one Sorry About Spoilers and two!!! Please watch them! Worthikids is a phenomenal artists and musician and the entire runtime of Bigtop Burger and Wire is less than an hour. I think it's all less than 30 minutes actually?????? And while you're there, please watch his Captain Yajima episode + all his other work bc Worthi deserves every single view and like and comment. One of my favorite artists of all time.

FOUR. DAYS AGO......... NEW CHARACTER ART. THIS REPRISE...... MY HEAD HURTS OH MY GOD /POS

ALSO GET YOUR ASS FUCKING UP OH MY GOD????? I WAS CHECKING FRIENDS IN LOW PLACES FOR LYRICS AND JUST FOUND THIS?????

[theninthdoor]

Can you do bad sides/questionnable reading for enhypen as well ? (Like you did for BTS) Thank youuu :)

again... before you read: make sure that you take everything with a grain of salt and put your common sense to good use! no human being is 100% angel; no one is perfect + some of these things we, ourselves, do or think of doing from time to time. still, if anyone is expecting idols to be some sort of perfect demi-gods, the internet might not be for you 💘 also, of course, i’m not claiming anything as facts. feel free to dismiss my interpretations, if you wish.

Heeseung || the devil, page of wands: Uhh… a little manipulative? He knows what to say to push people's buttons. Plus, might take his jokes a little too far sometimes, too. While said joke might be making someone uncomfortable, if he's not yet satisfied with it, he's not gonna stop. What's funny for him often isn't funny for others, and he might fail to notice that. It could also happen that others feels pressured to laugh at those jokes or go along with his antics just so they aren't the next victim. (mind you, I don't think he's malicious with it, necessarily… he may just lack the maturity or self-awareness to recognize what's reaaally happening)

Jay || the temperance, ace of pentacles: Jay might have a hard time stepping out of his comfort zone, and so he tries to mold people into what better fits said comfort zone. If he thinks something is the best of its kind (i.e.: a restaurant or a style of jeans), he will want everybody to have the same opinion or follow his own. Passive-aggressiveness might also be an issue here.

Jake || three of swords, ace of swords: Knows how to hit a raw nerve, and might do it more often than he should. He's the type to remember things/secrets a person has told him and use that against them later on, specially when they have hurt his feelings. Will bring up people's past mistakes, too, for sure… Plus, once you hurt him, he'll make sure you know it and acknowledge it!

Sunghoon || four of wands, eight of cups: Escapism; faking it. Fakes his personality and/or tastes and preferences in order to fit in. Would rather run than confront others over things that have upset him. Might also be the type to say one thing in front of the larger group of people, and then go and say another in private to someone he trusts.

Sunoo || wheel of fortune, ace of wands: Unpredictable. Always looking for the next big thing. He just isn't very commited to stuff, specially if something else more interesting or promising comes up. It may be hard to get him to follow through with an idea or plan - it's a "do it now or you may never actually do it" type of thing. He just loses interest very easily, it seems.

Jungwon || ace of pentacles, eight of swords: I wouldn't necessarily say close minded, but more like… short-sighted? He rejects things/ideas/people too fast upon a first impression, and doesn't give them the opportunity to unravel into something that, perhaps, he'd find really quite interesting. For example, if 7 years ago he found a 12-in-1 shampoo that worked for his needs, in those 7 years he has never accepted any other shampoo suggestion and will shit-talk all other options… you won't get him to change his mind bc, honestly, he doesn't care. It might be better for him and give him better results but, instead of considering that, he's thinking about NOT getting what this 12-in-1 provides for him right now. Besides that, he may also be a little material focused and reject some opportunities in order to focus on work, to save money, or simply because he thinks it's below himself.

Ni-ki || three of swords, king of wands: Lol… he plays the victim very well! Ni-ki knows how to use his acting skills to get what he wants, for sure… Dramatic. Pushy. Hates it when people don't pay attention to him - OR when they don't give him the amount of attention he thinks he deserves. "My way or the highway… unless you wanna hear me whine about it for a month, of course".

(Disclaimer: all readings are alleged and for entertainment purposes only.)