#tanja's writing

[jamesunderwater]

Random question time: If you could pick one scene or conversation that you've written to become canon, which one would it be?

@eastwindmlk thank you for sending this!! I was so excited when I got it and spent a bunch of time trying to decide, then of course forgot to respond. xD But yeah, I really wanted to choose the second chapter of The Couch Chronicles, but then I remembered this scene from An Academic Rivals Montage and, angsty king that I am, I had to go with this one:

When he’d bolted toward the sound of screaming, James had prayed with every footfall that it wouldn’t be her��he found. Fights between students had been happening more frequently as tensions from the war grew; this they’d all become accustomed to. But in recent weeks there’d been several pointed attacks on Muggleborn students, at the end of which the victims were usually sent to the hospital wing, while their assailants “couldn’t be identified.” So James, expecting to find a victim on the ground, had his wand at the ready, prepared to fight off whoever might be standing above them. In no world would he have guessed he’d discover Lily to be the one standing over bodies – let alone three seventh year Slytherin boys. With one leg on either side of him, Lily towered above Mulciber, his face so covered in boils he was nearly unrecognizable. Slumped against the wall behind him was an unconscious Avery, and a few feet to his right lay Evan Rosier, moaning in pain as he clutched one of his legs. James could see a large patch of blood darkening his gray pants where he held it.  “Touch them again!” Lily bellowed, her wand pointed directly at Mulciber’s face. The large boy was shrieking with pain, his hands hovered over his face as new boils continued to grow and burst on his skin.  James looked around to find ‘them’ but there were no other bodies to be found. A large crowd of students had formed around the scene, and he noticed a pair of young Hufflepuffs crying in the arms of one of their prefects. Their robes appeared to be tattered. “Touch them again, I dare you!” When James turned back to Lily she was trembling, teeth bared. Her pupils were so dilated that the green of her irises had become nothing but a thin rim around the swollen black.  He didn’t think she would continue to curse a man who was already down, but it didn’t seem wise to wait and find out. “Lily!” James called, forcing his way out of the crowd and into her orbit.  She didn't move or seem to even notice him. James stepped closer, glancing at Mulciber. The young man was clearly in too much pain to do anything but writhe.  “Lily,” James said again, quieter this time. “It’s alright, yeah? They’re safe.” It was several more seconds before she finally pulled her eyes from the Slytherin’s swollen face. When she looked at him, James watched her pupils begin to slowly shrink again.

[eastwindmlk]

In the spirit of being more organized, I am going to try to keep up what I read and write in a month! (There is a chance that this is the only month you'll see these because the dopamine ran out)

Half of my heart || Jilypad. 1.5k Rated G. Unrequited love

Dittany for a broken heart || Panville. 1.3k Rated G. Soulmates

Late night reading || Lilypad. 534 Words. Rated T

For the greater good || Jily 1.6k words. Angst, hurt/comfort. Rated T

"I am obsessed with you. Not in a creepy way." || Jily 205 words. Fluff. Rated T

Just the Coo of Us || Prongsfoot 917 words. Crack, Fluff. Rated T

Total words written: 50.304

[alexjcrowley]

Physically fighting the urge to make an edit of Eduard Limonov and Iosif Brodskij to Girl, so confusing

[nonhapiupareti]

http://joylandpoetry.com/stories/prairies/four_visual_poems_0

WTR 0_0 low res

[chaoscommacourage]

My calendar app informed me that it's my OC's birthday today, so here's a little appreciation post.

Cecil wasn ́t particularly surprised to see Nils racing up the stairs, dressed in shiny black riding boots and a sky blue coat. „Where is she?“, he demanded, grey eyes dark and stormy. Cecil pointed at the door to the study, unable to speak. Without another glance at him the footman disappeared within. Cecil followed reluctantly, just in time to see Nils drop his coat heedlessly to the floor and stride towards his princess, who was still standing at the window and turning towards him with an embarrassed look on her face.

Here's to my bestest most gentle boy who would definitely turn to war crimes given the slightest motivation <3

[bitchesgetriches]

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Retirement and How to Retire

How to start saving for retirement

Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One?

Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over.

Season 4, Episode 5: “401(k)s Aren’t Offered in My Industry. How Do I Save for Retirement if My Employer Won’t Help?”

How To Save for Retirement When You Make Less Than $30,000 a Year

Workplace Benefits and Other Cool Side Effects of Employment 

Your School or Workplace Benefits Might Include Cool Free Stuff

Do NOT Make This Disastrous Beginner Mistake With Your Retirement Funds

The Financial Order of Operations: 10 Great Money Choices for Every Stage of Life

Advanced retirement moves

How to Painlessly Run the Gauntlet of a 401k Rollover

The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting

Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?”

You Need to Talk to Your Parents About Their Retirement Plan

Season 4, Episode 8: “I’m Queer, and Want To Find an Affordable Place To Retire. How Do I Balance Safety With Cost of Living?” 

How Dafuq Do Couples Share Their Money? 

Ask the Bitches: “Do Women Need Different Financial Advice Than Men?”

From HYSAs to CDs, Here’s How to Level Up Your Financial Savings

Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?” 

Speaking of advanced money moves, make sure you’re not funneling money to The Man through unnecessary account fees. Roll over your old retirement accounts FO’ FREE with our partner Capitalize:

Roll over your retirement fund with Capitalize

Investing for the long term

When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not 

Investing Deathmatch: Traditional IRA vs. Roth IRA

Investing Deathmatch: Stocks vs. Bonds 

Wait… Did I Just Lose All My Money Investing in the Stock Market? 

Financial Independence, Retire Early (FIRE)

The FIRE Movement, Explained 

Your Girl Is Officially Retiring at 35 Years Old

The Real Story of How I Paid off My Mortgage Early in 4 Years 

My First 6 Months of Early Retirement Sucked Shit: What They Don’t Tell You about FIRE

Bitchtastic Book Review: Tanja Hester on Early Retirement, Privilege, and Her Book, Work Optional

Earning Her First $100K: An Interview with Tori Dunlap 

We’ll periodically update this list with new links as we continue writing about retirement. And by “periodically,” we mean “when we remember to do it.” Maybe remind us, ok? It takes a village.

Contribute to our staff’s retirement!

Holy Justin Baldoni that’s a lot of lengthy, well-researched, thoughtful articles on the subject of retirement. It sure took a lot of time and effort to finely craft all them words over the last five years!

In case I’m not laying it on thick enough: running Bitches Get Riches is a labor of love, but it’s still labor. If our work helped you with your retirement goals, consider contributing to our Patreon to say thanks! You’ll get access to Patreon exclusives, giveaways, and monthly content polls! Join our Patreon or comment below to let us know if you would be interested in a BGR Discord server where you can chat with other Patrons and perhaps even the Bitches themselves! Our other Patrons are neat and we think you should hang out together.

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[heartstringsduet]

Thought about posting a snippet from the 2AM (TK having an ED) fic I posted last week but too much of it felt too heavy to float aorund without context. So here is some werewolf fic for all those that don't hate this trope lol. Thank you @ironheartwriter for the tag

“Let me get this one,” Carlos says, pulling a walled from the pocket of his joggers, similar to the ones TK wears. They both seem to avoid the chafe of jeans against already tight skin.

“No,” TK returns, his own card in hand. “I stole your dinner.”

“And I nearly attacked you over it.”

Tanja’s pencil-drawn eyebrows raise with neither of them paying her or the diner customers at the bar too much attention.

“Yes but you didn’t.”

“Close call,” Carlos counters. 

“We both know you barely remember our night together.”

Truthfully, TK would enjoy Carlos paying for him, the part in him that seeks the comfort of being taken care of again, but the more stubborn part in him wants to keep pushing. Keep seeing what the alpha is made off, especially with the moon in his blood. If he gets irritated easily like Pierce and Alex, if he gives into TK’s whims like Judd. If he will go on endless debates like his mom, like Marjan.

He doesn't expect Carlos to suddenly step closer. Into the space where his skin radiates the heat of the sun reflected of this full moon day, where his smell chases away even the diner’s odors, where his eyes look large and endless. He doesn’t touch TK, no part of him, but his breath meets TK’s cheek.

“Let me pay. Please. You’ll get the next one.” OPEN TAG &

@paperstorm @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @birdclowns

@lightningboltreader @strandnreyes @reyesstrand @bonheur-cafe

@alrightbuckaroo @theghostofashton @orchidscript

@liminalmemories21 @welcometololaland @rmd-writes

@eclectic-sassycoweyes @butchreyes @freneticfloetry

@never-blooms @carlos-in-glasses @carlos-tk

@emsprovisions @sapphic--kiwi @whatsintheboxmh

@lemonlyman-dotcom @ladytessa74 @pimento-playing-hopscotch

@nancys-braids @tellmegoodbye @certifiedflower

@thisbuildinghasfeelings @kiwichaeng @goodways

[vy-canis-melodis]

the following is a blog post, written by tanja, in the Bird HRT universe:

UPDATE and a cancelled article!

Hi all, it's been a long time since my last blog post. Here's the deal; I was in hospital. Long story short, some things went pretty wrong, and here I am, having to deal with a huge backwards step in progress then having had to retrace those steps with additional gooey complications and therapy.

Anyway, here's a journalistic article I was pretty close to finishing and submitting to actual newspapers before everything went down and I had to cancel it.

Rejecting Humanity - Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Just Be Myself

As I write this, I'm sitting in the waiting room of a Hospital cross Research Laboratory in London. By the time you're reading this, I'll have been on my treatment journey for over a year. What treatment, you ask? Well, it's Humanity Removal Therapy. One year ago, I undertook a radical new procedure which slowly transforms you from human to another form. Perhaps you've seen strange creatures out and about; a snow leopard at the supermarket, a dog at the drive-thru, or a tuatara at the thrift shop. Or, perhaps, you haven't; as I write this, the number of patients might not yet have reached triple digits worldwide.

Perhaps I should introduce myself. My name is Tanja ------, and I am an Iberian Azure-winged Magpie, scientific name 'cyanopica cooki'. One year ago, I was fully human, and now I look like a hybrid between our two species. So, let me guide you through my world.

How is this possible?

A little over a year ago, certain medical circles revealed that species transformation had been trialled in mice, turning them into various other creatures, with various success rates from 20 to 80% depending on size and how different the target species was. Now, I'm not for animal testing, but when I heard that human trials were going to open, I kept that pinned to my calendar. And so, after a few months, I was able to finally sign up and have my first interview. Which was… short. Turns out, they had pretty elaborate ways of gatekeeping people who really meant that they wanted it from those that they thought would regret the procedures. They also had a little joke, based on gender HRT, where they would ask if you'd spent years living as your preferred species beforehand. Or at least, I think it was a joke. And then, I was on my way to becoming the bird I love.

How much did it cost?

Well, luckily for me, the NHS provides free healthcare. Then, due to this being a clinical trial, I get paid for being a test subject. Then, due to the effects of the medicine, I receive Disability Benefits. The treatment itself is… a bit of a legal loophole, really. This very article may well be the first you've heard of it.

Is it just a magic pill?

Nope! It's a mix of CRISPR, gene replacement, hormone injections, and surgeries over time. It's a real mishmash, at least in my case. For example, keratinous structures can be grown through selective DNA editing and hormones that stimulate 'hair' growth in specific areas in specific ways. Bone structure can also slowly be altered in some cases through gene replacement, though in some cases, surgery is needed. My back, for example, will soon be undergoing surgery to adjust the way the vertebrae are laid out. Some aspects just are too difficult to be done naturally, and so artificial parts and prosthetics are added. But this complicated procedure has an upside - it means that there is more customisation possible! For example, a Harpy would be a very specific set of applications of Bird HRT that exclude certain aspects such as the face!

Are there downsides?

Definitely. There's the immunosuppression that has to occur to stop new parts from being rejected. There's the high risk of cancers and other diseases to occur as a result of this procedure. There's just the risk that your organs will fail. Most of this is irreversible too.

Why even do it then?

Because, to that small number of people, it's so worth it. This is a new life, an opportunity to discard that uncomfortable human vessel and be yourself at last. For the vast majority of people, being oneself is being human, but that's not the case for everyone.

Is it going to be banned?

Well, that's hard to say. Governments worldwide are, I'm sure, now aware of this phenomenon. And I think it presents a threat to the status quo. This is something new, something scary, something intimidating, that shifts the power balance between subjects and governers. And it's not just because some people have become huge fire-breathing dragons - it's the meaning behind it. They've rejected the very notion of the social contract between humans and crafted a new identity. Do we still count as people? And that's really the question, isn't it. So much of the way government and society works is to split people into groups of those that are 'more' people, and those that are 'lesser' people - and that dictates what societal violences are permissible, for example. This whole new procedure will have to make governments rethink so much, and it can either be a source of worry for us, or a source of hope for everyone. We just have to be loud enough to be heard for who we are.

So what will come next? Well, I'm going to hop on in to my next appointment, and the Earth will keep spinning. My first set of wings has almost reached full-span, and my toe-dexterity is almost at where I was with hands as a human. With my next set of primaries, I may have enough of a wingspan to fly, if I keep my weight low enough. Meanwhile, Parliament will likely have a debate on the issue, as a petition to legalise the procedure has a few thousand signatures on the government's official petition website. I'll be waiting on that result eagerly.

If you have any other questions, I'd be more than willing to answer them!

[mariacallous]

In her 1996 novel, Fieldwork in Ukrainian Sex, Oksana Zabuzhko wrote that for Ukrainians, “Fear was passed on in the genes.” Zabuzhko, one of the most important living Ukrainian writers, was referring to the childhood fear of saying the wrong thing to the wrong person in the Soviet era. Anyone who approached you could be spying for the KGB, and if you let a careless word slip, the bad men would come “and put Daddy in prison.” But that line captures what Zabuzhko’s novel is about: the inherited fear of oblivion born between the hungry jaws of empire, or what she calls the “eternal Ukrainian curse of nonexistence.”

Fieldwork in Ukrainian Sex was a sensation when it was published in Ukraine, but it took 15 years for it to be translated to English. Even then, it didn’t find a U.S. readership until the full-scale Russian invasion in 2022. The book’s path is emblematic of the tough road to English translation, much less readership, for novels written in Ukrainian. Until this year, not a single novel translated from Ukrainian had been published by a major U.S. publisher.

Tanja Maljartschuk’s Forgottenness, the first to break that barrier, is a book about Ukrainian identity and the struggle against nonexistence. Originally published in 2016, when it won the BBC’s Ukrainian Book of the Year Award, it tells the story of a contemporary Ukrainian writer who becomes obsessed with Viacheslav Lypynskyi, an important Polish figure in the early 20th-century Ukrainian independence movement. Lypynskyi studied Ukrainian at university in the early 1900s, when teaching the language was scandalous; both Russians and Poles considered it “a dialect of either Russian or Polish, or both concurrently.” Printing Ukrainian works was also prohibited, “punishable by imprisonment or exile.”

Throughout history, Ukrainians have faced this paradox: a denial of their existence (Ukrainian isn’t a language) combined with brutal repression (and you are forbidden to speak it). As Maljartschuk writes, the struggle makes many “lose their minds.”

Forgottenness is full of characters shrugging, often in dramatic situations. While American critics often lament shrugs (along with nods and smiles) as lazy dialogue tags, for the Ukrainian writer, the shrug is an important gesture. Soviet-born U.S. writer Gary Shteyngart once wrote, somewhat tongue-in-cheek, that Ukraine’s coat of arms could be a man shrugging. This attitude can easily be mistaken for nihilism, but it is far more complex than that. On its most basic level, it comes from a learned acceptance that many situations are beyond one’s control. For generations of Ukrainians, this acceptance has been necessary to maintain sanity.

Ukrainians have found different ways of shrugging. In Forgottenness, the unnamed narrator remembers how her father, like many Ukrainian men of his generation, became immersed in kung fu in the 1980s, needing to feel like he could protect himself. Her grandfather, after feigning insanity to avoid military service, worked as a forced laborer, melting down church bells that were transported across the Soviet Union to be made into weapons; for years, he responded to most things with a joke, fueling himself on laughter.

She remembers how her grandmother was left at an orphanage by a father who would soon die in the Holodomor, Joseph Stalin’s terror famine of 1932-33, during which millions of Ukrainians starved to death. In an attempt to understand and connect with her family, the narrator asks her mother how this genealogy of suffering affected her. “Mom shrugged. ‘What was there to be affected by? That’s how things were, and that’s all there is to it.’”

The narrator has the opposite reaction. Her fascination with Lypynskyi, who almost lost his mind, falling into infirmity under the weight of defending the idea of a Ukrainian nation, comes partly from identifying with him. For the narrator, her inability to shrug leads to an existential crisis. She becomes terrified of the outside world. For months, she stops going outside. She begins to mop her floor relentlessly. She stands on her head to see things from a different perspective. She obsessively reads old newspapers in search of references to Lypynskyi. She is desperate to understand history. In a recurring image of the novel, she imagines time as a blue whale eating plankton by the millions. There is no mystery as to whom the plankton represent.

The historical parts of Forgottenness can be challenging, both to follow and to witness, for the simple reason that Ukrainian history is challenging. Lypynskyi lived through the early 20th century, a time when hope for a Ukrainian nation flickered before being brutally smothered.

As the narrator puts it, in the three years after the Russian Revolution, “Kyiv, like a loose woman, changed hands over ten times … and each new seizure ended in bloody purges.” Borders change, names change, empires come, empires go, and everyone dies. One reason that Maljartschuk’s is the first Ukrainian-language novel to break into U.S. commercial publishing is that so many Ukrainian writers from the 20th century were permanently silenced.

As Ukrainian writer Anastasia Levkova recently wrote, under Stalin, 500 of the foremost Ukrainian writers were executed. But she is quick to point out that Stalin was not solely responsible for silencing Ukrainian literature: For example, Vasyl Stus, one of the most famous Ukrainian poets of the 20th century, died in a Soviet forced labor camp decades after Stalin’s death. It is not just Stalin, nor is it just current Russian President Vladimir Putin—it is the Russian Empire that denies Ukrainian history, Ukrainian language, and Ukrainian existence.

Ukraine, one character in Forgottenness laments, “has so many million bodies but so few actual people.” The Russian Empire won’t even allow remembrance of the bodies. When the narrator goes to visit Lypynskyi’s grave, she cannot find it, because the cemetery’s headstones were bulldozed and used to line the floors of pigsties during collectivization. How is she to come to terms with her past when the empire has erased it?

As she’s fighting panic attacks, the narrator watches pigeons across the street building nests and laying eggs on neglected balconies. “Once in a while, the building’s owners would toss the eggs off the balconies onto the asphalt below. The pigeons would then sit on the roof and dispassionately observe the destruction of their offspring.” The pigeons shrug not because they don’t care, but because—what choice do they have?

The narrator’s inability to be like the pigeons almost kills her. But she can still think, write, and face her crisis head-on. In what might seem like an anti-climax, but is actually a triumph, she seeks out a therapist. As she puts it, in her part of the world, “the human head has one purpose—to eat.” Her mother condemns her for being a drama queen. But the narrator finds another woman, a professional, who listens and who cares. She begins to trust her. She starts talking her way out. Through language and solidarity with a fellow Ukrainian, she finds her way back to the world.

Maljartschuk, a Vienna-based Ukrainian novelist, wrote Forgottenness between the Maidan Revolution in 2014 and the full-scale Russian invasion of 2022, a period when Ukrainian art, newly liberated from colonial shackles, was blossoming. Its Ukrainian title, Zabuttya, means both “forgetfulness” and “oblivion,” and although this is not a novel about the war, no event has brought the threat of oblivion into more urgent focus than Russia’s invasion.

According to Forgottenness’ promotional materials, Norton’s inspiration for publishing the book was a March 2022 article in the New York Times about the urgency of bringing Ukrainian literature to the West after Russia’s invasion. Because of the sudden prominence of Ukraine in the American consciousness, there is the temptation for Americans to read Ukrainian literature today anthropologically, approaching it as a window into the country instead of an imaginary story about Ukrainian characters.

To be clear, this is not a criticism of the publisher: I am very grateful that Norton published Forgottenness, and I hope that more U.S. publishers will follow its lead. But how does it affect the reader’s experience to approach the book with images of rubble in mind? How does an American reader get around the trap of reading Ukrainian fiction like it’s nonfiction—of reading it for information rather than emotion—when current events are the reason for its translation into English? The narrator’s panic attacks are brought on not by missiles but by the chaos in her mind and the fear in her genes. Is it not disrespectful to read the book as a guide to understanding Ukraine in 2024?

Fortunately, Forgottenness shares a way to read itself and also to read Ukraine’s latest fight for survival. Maljartschuk personifies the statewide struggle against oblivion in the individual struggle to accept the things you can’t change while refusing to accept the things you can. The struggle, I believe, applies to both the narrator and Ukraine, past and present. The story speaks to what came immediately before the book was published: the Maidan Revolution, in which Ukrainians from every class and background risked their lives to drive out the pro-Russian puppet government, holding Independence Square in Kyiv for three months in the face of a harsh winter, police snipers, government-hired thugs, kidnappings, and torture. But Forgottenness can also speak to what will come after.

The narrator says of her grandfather feigning madness to get out of fighting: “Between a slavish existence and a heroic death, he chose the former, and only thanks to this choice did I become possible.” In her words, she is “the offspring of meekness in the face of power and fear in the face of death.”

But there is no trace of meekness in today’s Ukraine. A generation of Ukrainian writers and artists are now on the front lines of battle or in the rear guard, tirelessly fundraising for equipment for soldiers.

“Everything I’ve done in my life has only come to be by overcoming great fear,” Maljartschuk said in an interview following the 2022 invasion. Fear, as Zabuzhko wrote, lives in the genes. But fear need not paralyze. “Ukrainians are no longer victims,” Maljartschuk added, “but fighters.”

[soda-gremlin]

The Newer Thea Sisters Books Aren’t as Good as the Older Ones, and Here’s Why

Yes yes, I know I am beating a dead horse here, but I have noticed quite a few patterns when it comes to the newer books, specifically why I don’t like them. So here is my comprehensive list of traits that make the newer books so lackluster.

1. No Continuity

And no, I am not simply referring to small details, like the name of a celebrity that has already been established. What I am referring to, is both the lack of reference to previous books even when relevant, and the complete absence of background knowledge. Let me explain.

So, y’all have read Mystery on the Orient Express, right? If you haven’t, major spoilers ahead. The villains turn out to be a set of identical twins, Dimitri and Leon. But first, before discovering that fact, the Thea Sisters had to tangle with the conundrum of Dimitri’s hand, and why the burn kept disappearing and reappearing. It took them quite a bit of time to work that out because, well, they’d never seen that before. And they’re still new to mystery-solving.

However, in a later book, (spoilers for Phantom of the Orchestra) they are confused by a character named John’s seemingly contradictory behavior, like greeting them like old friends one minute, and acting like they never met the next minute. But here’s the thing. They’ve seen this before, in Mystery of the Orient Express. That shouldn’t have been a huge twist. They shouldn’t have taken that long to figure that out, because they’ve seen it before.

Need another example? So, a common trope in the newer books is that one of the side characters aiding them mysteriously goes missing. Then it turns out, they were kidnapped/led away. It happens almost every single time. Riddle of the Ruins, Niagara Splash, you get the idea. But every single time, the girls dick around like, “Oh no, I wonder where John Doe could have POSSIBLY went” GIRLIEPOPS. THIS AINT YOUR FIRST RODEO. YOU SHOULD KNOW THIS.

I get it, they want the series to be episodic and all that, but when it’s actively hurting the story’s writing, and when quite a few readers have read previous books, it ends up detrimental instead of convenient.

2. The Forgettable Side Characters

Have any of you read the Mouseford series, or the graphic novels? If you have, you’re probably familiar with Vanilla (Ruby), Vic (Ryder), Shen, Craig, Tanya (Tanja), and Dina (Elly). All pretty well-established side characters, some even making an appearance in the beginning of the original series’ books.

Clearly, they have a very diverse cast of side characters in their roster. Shen being a sweet, bookish nerd, Craig being a himbo jock, Vic being a chaotic neutral rich boy, Vanilla being your average spoiled rich girl, you get the idea.

So I bet they bring one along on the girls’ adventures to spice up the story, right? Bringing in a fresh new perspective on the story’s events and a refreshing deviation in recurring character dynamics, while also expanding on the side characters themselves. Right?

WRONG

Instead, they make up a character to use as a plot device. I hesitate to even call them characters, because they have no personality. They’re all the same cookie cutter cardboard cutouts again and again. Especially the new male characters.

Can you tell me a SINGLE unique trait about Didier, Ioannis, Mateo, or Akhun?

Can you even tell me which books they’re from?

Of course you can’t! You probably don’t even remember they existed! (Unless they’re your blorbo, in that case, you have my sympathies…)

So instead of using the more interesting and established side characters from Mouseford, they just stick in a plot device of a character and call it a day.

In the older books, the new characters were memorable. Take Ashvin for example, aka, the only character’s name in this category I didn’t have to look up. He had an actual character. He was impulsive, reckless, but had a strong moral code. Contrast that to the new books’ Forgettable Twink #12.

3. Less Emphasis on Culture

This section will be shorter, due to me not really being any of these cultures, and being American, but I still think it’s worth covering.

The idea of the Thea Sisters exploring new countries and cultures is not new. I’d wager that’s the very purpose of the books, to expand the worldviews of impressionable children.

However, in the newer books, it feels a lot more shallow. As in, “a leaflet you got at an airport” shallow. They just barely scrape the surface, and call it a day. Only covering well known foods and internationally known traditions/practices. It’s like if Cherry Blossom Adventure only had the Thea Sisters eating sushi and learning about ninjas or origami. It does that country a massive disservice, especially if you’re native, or even if you’ve just lived there.

This is due to the newer books having the girls see the country through the eyes of a tourist rather than getting immersed in the life of a local.

Take Mountain of Fire for example, they are thrust headfirst into Nicky’s home country. They’re not put up in a hotel in the touristy part of the country, they’re in Nicky’s ranch, experiencing the wildlife, as well as what it’s like to live so far from the city. They see the natural wonders of Australia, as well as learning from the Aboriginal peoples living around the area, including Nicky’s family.

4. Boring Conflict

This one is pretty straightforward. The conflicts in the newer books feel so boring, almost sanitized in a way. There are no real stakes. In the older books, there were many consequences laid out if the villain succeeded. An important link to a dying art would have been lost, the livelihood of Pam’s family business would have been compromised, and not to mention, PEOPLE COULD HAVE DIED.

But now it’s like, “Oh nooo, a single piece from a model is missing, and it’s gonna lose the contest, whatever shall we do 🥺🥺 It’s not like we can recreate it or anything”

There is nothing compelling about the conflicts or its villains. We have no reason to be at the edge of our seats like with Mystery of the Orient Express, where Pam and Nicky LITERALLY CLIMB ON TOP OF A TRAIN TO CATCH THE THIEF BEFORE HE CAN GET AWAY

But now it just feels like a fetch quest of clues, and a wild goose chase for good measure. And just lot of fapping about in general.

I also have to bring up villains. They’re having the same issue as the side characters. They’re all the same greedy, shifty characters that are so obviously up to something.

Final Thoughts

I think all of these flaws can basically boil down to the fact that every book feels like the same story, over and over again, just with different names. (There are some exceptions, but my point still stands)

And just one more note I have is that, I wish the Thea Sisters got more personality to them. Like, I wish they acted like an actual friend group, not like how kids shows love portraying friend groups. Which is a group of girls all nice to each other all the damn time. There’s no depth, there’s no added dynamics that make the friend group feel real. The dialogue is all so flat. I need banter, I need inside jokes, I need playful jabs at one another, I need each sister having a different relationship with one another. We don’t want perfect, we want interesting. (But this isn’t exclusively a newer book issue, so I didn’t put it in the main list)

Aaaannndddd that’s about all I’ve got for you today! Hope you enjoyed this little rant/analysis!!

[zee-has-commitment-issues]

Epilogen Episode 5 theory below the cut. You don't have to read it if you don't want to lol it's long and rambled. Tagging it for spoilers because it contains info from the first four episodes.

I want to write this out and post it so that when I inevitably go "omg that was so unexpected how could they?" I can look back on this and remind myself that I'm a liar and I absolutely saw this coming:

I think we need to prepare ourselves for one of the mains dying, and I think we very much need to accept the possibility/probability that it will be Linus.

Unfortunately, I think it makes the most sense. He is the one showing he's the most reckless in his situation at the current moment. He's thrown himself into danger multiple times this season, and in the fourth episode he kept looking for the gold knowing damn well the probability of them getting caught.

He's also said straight up that shooting themselves in the head would be easier than whatever the hell they're doing now.

I also think it would be the most tragic. He's the youngest. We've literally seen him since he was a child and watched him grow through the seasons. I'm not going to say he's been through the most out of the siblings, but there is an argument to be made there. He watched his dad die, he was abandoned multiple times, he was kidnapped and tortured multiple times, he watched his fiancee die in front of him, and that's only scratching the surface.

I can see it happening in a couple ways. The first is that we find out Linus is the inside leak. It doesn't seem likely, as he clearly wants nothing to do with his family at this point, but it's definitely a possibility. He seems just about angry enough to do it, and I can definitely see Sonja taking him out to protect the others just like she did with Zac. (and it would be extra impactful that way since Linus is the one who found out and told everyone about Zac's death in the first place, in turn "betraying" and turning his back on Sonja)

The other way I can see it happening is through protecting Zoey. Whether he cares for her romantically or not, I can see a parallel with her and Tanja happening. He saves her in the way he couldn't save his fiancee. Full circle moment. We've already seen him throw himself into reckless danger for her, and she obviously trusts him a lot. I can absolutely see him sacrificing himself for her with that huge Savior Complex he fails miserably to hide.

There's also the obvious ways it could happen: a bad guy finally following through on the threat to kills Sonja's kids; a freak accident; injured and can't recover; police, etc. But I don't think those would do justice to the death of one of these insanely central characters.

No matter who dies, I think/hope it will be in a full circle moment. That their death won't be just for the sake of shock and awe.

But yeah, I'm absolutely team Linus is dying rn. Sonja is apparently a cockroach, so she won't die. I don't think it makes sense for Nina or Gustav to die. If anything, it's more tragic for both of them to live: neither of them have great lives, both of them have issues at home. Living forces them to face that unsteadiness and tragedy.

But Linus does have a relatively steady life right now. If he makes it through, his life will go on and he'll eventually be okay (probably). It's more tragic for him to die.

This was a ramble, but TLDR: I think Linus is going to die.

[jamesunderwater]

🛳 Are there any new ships you want to write for? (Platonic, romantic, or anything in between.) 🐾 Do you plan on writing for any fests or competitions? 💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

Eeep, thank you for sending these! They were so fun :D

🛳 Are there any new ships you want to write for?

I dunno if there are any in the HP fandom, but I kindaaa wanna write PJO fanfic, maybe? Or She-Ra? So if I did get up the nerve to try those, it'd be: PJO: Percabeth; Leo Valdez and like a lot of platonic relationships but probably notably Piper and Jason; Nico & Bianca; Nico/Will (despite not having read the sun is also a star 😅) She-Ra: Catradora; Glimbow; also those four platonically; Entrapta & Scorpia & Emily <3

🐾 Do you plan on writing for any fests or competitions?

Not presently, no. Besides the unstressful jilychallenge here or there, I'm trying not to sign up for things with deadlines. Leave more room for me to work on whatever I'm feeling inspiration and excitement for at the moment.

💥Is there a chapter, scene, or WIP you're most excited to write? Share a snippet or tell us about it!

man, I'm feeling so secretive about what I'm working on that I don't want to give anything away 😆 I am probably most excited for some stuff coming up in Dead To Me, but I don't want to spoil anything. So instead I'll share a funny snippet from the next chapter of Just This Once, which, despite having missed the season for it, I am still working on here and there.

Just This Once Chapt. 5 snippet:

They had only a single knock for warning before Sirius barged into the room. James was quick, though, and dead grateful that the long entryway of the room blocked the bed from view for a few extra steps. Lily had just managed to roll off the bed when Sirius appeared, James still working to reposition the sheets to hide his nakedness. Sirius started with, “What the hell, mate?” which could have meant any number of things. James’ racing heart quickened. “We’ve been waiting ages. What’re you–? Are you seriously wanking before a Christmas marathon?” Sirius’ face twisted. “I feel I should tell you – that’s a bit odd.”  James was too speechless to think of a response, all his attention on the fact that Lily was currently hiding naked on the other side of his bed.  “And d’you know where Lils is? Can’t find her anywhere, and I can’t imagine she went on a walk in this weather.”

bonus, a random note in the chapter's outline:

Does james finish? God that’d be funny

Writer Goal Questions!

[eastwindmlk]

I've officially hit 100 (well 101) kudos with one of my fics!

[doctorloup]

Audiodrama Sunday! The Days May be Dark but the horror is…IDK darker but in a gayer way?

What has Lou been listening to recently which might distract you from thinking about The Situation?

Book of Constellations (@bookofconstellations) - Beautiful series full of hope about an alien on a road trip through America. Keith's writing is always deep, mature and full of kindness.

Woodbine - Look, they had me at the lesbian vampire detectives. And it's the Parkdale Haunt team so you KNOW it's gonna be great.

Amelia Project (@ameliapodcast)- Amelia's special brand of poignant comedy should help cheer you up. Some delightfully funny episodes recently. Loved Maty's debut as a small child of Hamelin and best boy Rhys being Valleys As All Fuck.

Poe: Evermore - OK actually this one is very dark but there is truly some quality acting in this and the writing is rich and gorgeous. Retelling of classic Poe stories within the setting of his life. I thought Vic was very good in Chapter 4 and Tanja in everything she's in especially the very sad bit and don't ask me about Harlan's character but I am listening very respectfully to both him and Giancarlo Herrera anyway moving swiftly on to

Professor Chronomier - The newest and final season of my favourite time travelling Professor is out, I will be normal I promise (I will not be normal TIME VILLAIN TEAMUP TIME VILLAIN TEAMUP)

Otherwise I have also been filling in more of the recommended listening, and binged Archive 81, Limetown and the Black Tapes so I am no longer an ignoramus about those ones.

Happy listening, love you all, this too shall pass

[viscerawrites]

last line tag

i was NOT tagged in this but it's been a while and i feel like playing tag games again so im posting it anyway

rules: make a new post and share the last line(s) you wrote

this is from an untitled sci fi wip that doesn't yet have a full storyline; I'm trying to let bits and pieces of it come naturally to me instead of forcing it! ill put context below the cut cuz. why not

---

Back and neck straight. Feet apart, same width as your shoulders. Chin high and confident, but not stiff. Don’t let your knees bend in. Don't let your foot turn outwards. Poised, elegant, relaxed. A natural grace.

Monroe repeats this mantra as she stands in the center of the dressing room, forcing herself to meet her own eyes in the vanity mirror. To examine herself, her body, her posture, forcing each part into perfect position until it feels a little less awkward.

Back straight. Neck straight. Feet at shoulder width. Chin high. Knees leaning forward. Foot forced straight. Uncomfortable and unnatural. She hopes it's well enough. Hopes her human – a smart, regal, wealthy man, according to Tanja – won't find her too odd.

---

context for the curious: Monroe is a being called an "automaton" which is a term for sentient beings who are made from genetic material of human volunteers (and grown in test tubes). Basically clones, but specifically made and produced for certain roles in society.

Monroe is a rare "custom" automaton and is the only variant made with her source's material. She was produced specifically to act the client's daughter and as a big sister/caretaker to the client's sons.

Theres a lot more worldbuilding and context than this, but that's the gist. As you might be able to guess, there are some serious ethical implications here.

anyway. Tagging (w/ no obligation) @vacantgodling @illarian-rambling @mk-writes-stuff @space-writes @ashfordlabs @katenewmanwrites @aintgonnatakethis and YOU!

[brothrbear]

Month 10

My head’s still not fully screwed on tight, though I am able to see well enough to type. Conversely my voice still is unuseable. A lot's happened in both the 9 days I was in a coma and the week of rehab I've done so far. There's a lot to cover, and I will attempt to be civil. But in doing so I feel I need to explain a few things before I give you my final journal.

Yes, that is correct. Dr. Erian, I am not going to be writing another entry for you after this one. I intend to terminate our agreement and seek other medical treatment. Your medication works wonders, but you administer it with little care. Your experimentation on me was faulty, not because it was rushed, but because you gave me a new set of drugs without my consent or knowledge that actively led to my health declining. I had a doctor like you as a child. He prescribed me Adderall for an off label purpose. He would ramp up the doses and then drop me back down haphazardly. I didn't fit his data, so he continued to tweak me until I did. Instead it damaged me as you did. Besides, I originally thought it was just myself and that it was my trial alone that had issues, however being in Hypercity, meeting Tanja as well as other therians, and enduring what I have, you deserve nothing short of having your medical license revoked. 

But even then, I thought maybe I could put up with it. It's a new medication and it was obviously a minor mistake in judgment and a clerical error with your pharmacy. At least that's what I convinced myself after waking up and hearing your apology. Carter told me about the level of care you gave me, which was surprising. However, slowly your care seemed less kind. More like you were covering yourself. The music while I slept? Plants growing because of music is an old wives tale. Yet you put so much stock into it even after Emily told you to stop. Once again, incompetent but still doing what you thought was best.

The reason, Dr. Erian, my Frankenstein. The reason I am firing you as my care provider is what occured four days ago. I likely don't need to type out the incident, I believe your throat is still bruised. However, for transparency’s sake I will do so anyway. On August 14th, 20XX, at 2:30 AM, you, Dr. T. H. Erian, were alerted to an alarm from Bed 14. The patient in that bed had suddenly and without known reason gone asystolic. Prior to you arriving, the patient flatlined. You, despite seeing a Do Not Resuscitate placard on their door, bed, and wrists, began chest compressions. Against their medical wishes, you continued life saving measures up to and including the use of adrenaline and a defibrillator.

May I remind you that this is reality, not a soap opera? Flatlining isn't just sort of dead for dramatic purposes. A flatline means no active electrical impulses running the heart. Next to nothing can bring anyone back from that. The fact that your patient is a person actively undergoing a transition into a species without a nervous system and without a proper circulatory system is a separate issue. The fact that this patient was not dead, and was instead fully conscious trying to get you to stop as the defibrillator charged is, once again, another separate issue.

Dr. Erian, you aren't a monster, or some villain we need to overcome on our route to treatment. You are an idiot with a savior complex. a fool that wishes to play god without consequences A clown passing himself off as a shepherd. A very very very poor excuse for a medical care professional. And I suggest you retain a lawyer if you do not already.

Moving on, as I am required to provide you this journal, I have had one last change as a result of my coma and the administration of feral medication. My sense of taste has finished transitioning and I can barely stomach even the lunchroom meat. I am forcing myself to eat, though I'm nearly gagging on every bite. I will also say I miss being blind. Realizing Therians need to eat out of buckets was not a pleasant realization after just waking up. Besides that everything has settled down. I'm sleeping and waking with the sun. My mind feels clear, if a little crowded. Besides the meal issues I'm seeing, I'm actually getting a little too shaggy with my fur, and my height is seemingly increasing at a steady rate while I sit in bed. My range of motion is expanded beyond what it was when I was human, my joints even bend backwards.

I've had a conga line of visitors, old friends, family that didn't know I was trans let alone Therian, and even a few new friends thanks to Tanja and Emily. It's been wonderful, and the amount of support I'm getting has been wonderful. Though who I'm most happy to be reunited with is Carter. He's been through a lot and I've had to hide him under my gown a few times because after my coma he doesn't want to be apart from me. It's cute but it makes me feel bad. I was stuck in my own head for nine days, and I can't even begin to express to him how much I thought of him. Emily did, but also accidentally stole his middle name so I'm a bit eh on whether he knows how much I thought of him. Before you ask, no, you will not get more information on my dream, Masc and Theo actively will not let me type another word about it to you.

That's actually a better segue to my final point than I've been able to write. My ‘hallucinations’ as you and I referred to them as. They're not fictitious. They're pieces of me, and they were there long before I used your treatment. I just haven't been able to see it. Now that I can, I wish I'd not listened to your advice on them. They're me, or as close to me as we can get in this situation. They've been there to help me when I stumbled and they're going to be with me until I finally fade from this Earth.

From the four of us, goodbye Erian. While it hasn't been a pleasure, it was an experience we can't exactly undo. You're welcome to never ever contact us again in the future we will be doing the same. oh and actually retain that lawyer we intend to sue the absolute fuck out of you