#talking to future me skimming my posts again with that one

[spacedkey]

normal i'm normal

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

[plain-text version of this post can be found under the cut]

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

Plain-text version:

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

P.S. Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[australianklaviergavin]

Hello, it's me, THE australianklaviergavin, today I actually have made a Discord server!

It's generally Uendo flavored (Uendoblr FIND ME), but I'd moreso like to generally build a community around minor AA characters. If your misunderstood fav is the Bellboy, this one's for you!

I won't be turning anyone away at the door, however, so if Miles Edgeworth really is your favorite which none can compete with, you're still welcomed! Just be cool. There's a short list of rules, which I've compiled below the cut for ease of access, give them a skim, if you'd please. Strangers and mutuals alike are welcomed, come one, come all!!

Join here!!

[Reblogs appreciated!]

DA RULEZ 💥

Anything else causing problems will be evaluated on a case-by-case basis, but I hope we can all have fun and be chill!

1.) Please try to be respectful!!

> This is really the biggest one. I'd like to try and prevent fights from happening in the first place, if possible, but if there's a personal issue, please contact me and I'll do my best to resolve things!

2.) Racism, sexism, homophobia, and general bigotry are STRICTLY disallowed.

> Not that I think this will be an issue, but I'm covering my bases.

3.) NO NSFW TALK IN #GENERAL.

> I'd like this server to be SFW, but if it *really* becomes an issue, I can add a roll-locked, designated channel for suggestive content. I have no plans for allowing anything actually *explicit* here in the future.

4.) Please keep promotion limited to #promo

> Not really a *biiig* point, but I don't want other channels to get clogged with "CHECK OUT MY SOUNDCLOUD" when we have a dedicated channel

5.) No posting of harmful material

> No content depicting pedophilia, incest, or bestiality will be allowed here. Anything else is fine, we *are* fans of the Murder Games, but there is a line. I would like this server to be generally safe for all ages, including minors. If you disagree on this one, feel free to leave.

6.) Please tag gore!

> Again, the games are about murder, but I'd prefer anything more than just "the usual" amount of blood to be under a spoiler tag & warning!

[sapphic-agent]

I think one of my main annoyances in Hori writing is him trying to redeem every villain and hero that some of them just doesn’t deserve that redemption.

Like; it’s reminds me too much of Naruto. But the difference is Naruto isn’t being held by modern standards since it set in a fictional world with ninjas while bnha is set in 200+ years in the future in modern japan.

I absolutely despise Endeavor and how he abused his family as a whole; in modern society he would have been put in jail, and yet he still gets a redemption arc. It’s feels like it’s cheapen all of the todorokis trauma.

And shoto being bakugo friend is another thing, since bakugo is so much like endeavor… like, if I had a classmate that act so much like my abusive parent that I absolutely despise I wouldn’t be close to them at all.

It’s gave me bad feeling how Hori just brushes all of the trauma the characters have from the actions of other characters selfish acts.

When I started reading the manga in 2015 I thought the concept is really good and having a main character with anxiety and socialization problems (in the start) made me hooked, because I had those things too. But looking at it now 8 years later I just feel so much dissatisfaction and disappointments..

You have a great point about Naruto. I mean, I'm not a fan of Naruto because of reasons, but it's the same concept as to why I like Vegeta better than Bakugou despite Vegeta technically being a worse person. Because MHA and DBZ are two very different shows. One is about becoming stronger and being able to face any threat to the world no matter what, the other is trying to push a narrative about morality and being a "true hero." The Z Fighters do have their own moral compasses, but it varies between every character. So there's no overarching theme that's beating us over the head.

Someone described this problem with MHA perfectly; it's constantly preaching about morality while willfully being tone deaf about its own overlaying issues. And that wouldn't even be so bad if so many of these issues weren't set up in the beginning to be addressed later.

I talk a lot about Bakugou, but I think we should focus on Endeavor like you mentioned. Not only are they similar in nature (temperamental, overzealous, dangerously ambitious), they're also two characters who benefit the most from the system in MHA.

...And it's barely ever acknowledged.

I mean sure, Dabi calls Endeavor out and it leads to the public losing faith in heroes. But not only does the family he abused and/or neglected choose to help him (I can't get over Fuyumi and Natsu taking blame for Touya when they were LITERAL CHILDREN wtf, not to mention Rei), why he was allowed to do this is never addressed. People knew he wasn't the kind hero All Might was, and it was something his fans admired along with his strength. Because as long as you have a strong quirk, you're admired in the MHA world and allowed to get away with whatever you want. Yet this is overlooked so easily.

(I like Hawks (because of Zeno Robinson mainly), but him dismissing this is so weird?? Why on Earth would Horikoshi go out of his way to introduce a character with an abusive father and make him an Endeavor fan? With no moment of clarity either?? There's something really off about that)

Bakugou's apology (one day I'll make a post critiquing this scene) is a little better in this regard as he does acknowledge that he was enabled because of his quirk. But again, it's really just skimmed over and only referenced to give Bakugou an excuse.

And the people who do question society and its system are either villains who are use it as an excuse to cause destruction and hurt people (the LOV and Overhaul) or bloodthirsty murderers (Stain). I would have loved for Horikoshi to introduce a group of vigilantes or anti-heroes who work outside of the HPSC and call out how discriminatory their system is.

Someone's talked about this before, but the Todoroki and Bakugou "friendship" was so forced and unnecessary. Bakugou has, at every turn, been completely unsympathetic towards the fact that Todoroki was abused and yelled at his sister for talking about it in her own home (but sure, let's call Bakugou an abuse victim I guess). Todoroki should have at the very least remained indifferent towards Bakugou like he was in the beginning.

Izuku deserves so much better than how Horikoshi treats him. He's either used as a tool to make Bakugou better or he's shoved into the background of his own show. He was so relatable in the beginning of the series only for the plot to suck his character dry.

[archivalofsins]

Hey, this isn't going to be a long post because I want to get back to playing Caligula Effect 2. However, confirmed that Double is mostly a dream with small snippets of reality while MeMe is reality with breaks into dreams. Also that the graphs we see displayed distortedly throughout Double are a polysomnography.

X X

"I’m probably just having a bad dream, I need to wake up soon." - "All I did was dream, and that’s what you found GUILTY? “He’s a liar”, you said, and made me out to be a scoundrel, why?"

So, let's talk about this for a bit.

all gifs made by @apatchworkstar

So, in Caligula Effect 2 there's a heavy focus on the meaning of the word dream. It's highlighted multiple times that a dream can be something you have at night while sleeping or refer to something you want to do in the future. So, throughout double the word dream itself even has a double meaning.

I think that when John states all he did was dream contextually he's referring to the dreams one has when they sleep. I believe this because the structure of Double as I stated before is more dream like than MeMe. Though I have another pertinent reason for believing this outside of that. Let's discuss the telltale signs of a dream displayed throughout Double first.

1. Takes place mainly in one location.

Unlike MeMe where we change locations frequently. From the underpass to the inside of their home, to the dumping area outside of their home, to their bathroom. Double is limited to the train station and the train only. Despite seeing John commuting he never makes it home or to work. He is confined to this location.

2. Seemingly endless terrains. (Never-ending passages or areas that seem to go on forever.)

3. Partial literacy or none. (Not everyone can read within dreams but those who can rarely can read the same thing twice. Instead the words will either keep changing or go blank.)

People who can read in dreams are pretty rare. They tend to be in communications based professions or writers.

CAN YOU READ IN YOUR DREAMS? SCIENCE REVEALS WHY MOST PEOPLE CAN'T

There are also other things that can't be done in dreams according to other sources.

X

That are helpful when it comes to differentiating between reality and dream in Mikoto's case. Also bringing more scrutiny to John's statements during the interrogation where he claims they attacked random strangers on the street an impossibility if it was really a dream like they both claim. We see in Double that none of the people have faces, they're all mannequins.

Since John stated he attacked some stranger it makes sense for everyone in Double to appear this way because in dreams you can't really just create a full ass person that you've never seen before. So, this makes everyone in John's version of events a stranger to him. However, you know where that's definitely not the damn case.

In MeMe where we see this guy plain as day-

As Mikoto does a very physical activity. However, this is a good time to interject- Dreams are very personalized.

Personal anecdote. I once had a dream when I was in a bookstore, and I was browsing around. I'd read a book I'd liked but I was unsure if I wanted to really commit to purchasing it but there was limited time was there with others, I had like twenty minutes at most, and I'd looked at a clock just to see what time that'd be. When I went to skim the book again it was blank. Then I looked at the clock and it was blank too. I was in high school at the time and had already looked into information around dreams and became acutely aware I was which led to a bit of lucid dreaming before I woke up. In other dreams I've been in fights, used weapons etc. even ran for a good while.

So, yeah, I've done physical activities in my dreams before, and I've seen people I know and have never known in my dreams too. It's different for everyone.

Yet, it's still valid to question-

Why would Double something primarily from John's perspective follow the rules of dreams more than Mikoto's?

If what they did was just a dream, then those rules should be applicable to both songs not just one.

It's not as though all of MeMe just shows the reality of the situation either. In fact, dream and reality are more neatly separated within their first trial song. Something that is displayed by one of those things listed. The inability to look in mirrors.

And being confined to one place regardless of how it changes over the course of the video.

So, yes there are very logical ways to discern between what is a dream and what is reality within Mikoto's trial songs. Milgram has done nothing to hide this. They even further displayed this by putting dream in large font for all to see over most of double.

Yet what's the other thing that makes me so sure that when John is discussing dreaming, he's discussing the dreams you have while sleeping and Mikoto is discussing dreams for the future?

For one Mikoto is specifically paired with the woman who sings this-

"Is the damage to get in the way of someone’s dream."- "If it damaged someone’s dream to the points of stopping it I’ll gouge you out with my fangs."

So chances are a part of the reason they were connected is because they lashed out due to someone gettting in the way of their personal goals and dreams. Yet there's also the fact he plainly fucking states what his dream was in his written trial one interrogation.

Q.04 Are you picky when it comes to fashion?

Mikoto: Of course I am. Nobody would want to ask for anything from an unfashionable designer, right?

06 What do you hate?

Mikoto: working overnight / reptiles / violence

Q.14 Where do you think you’ll be in 10 years?

Mikoto: It’d be nice if I could build up my own self-sustaining design business. That’d be pretty liberating.

"Hey now, I saved you, right? So why in the hell are you crying? Cling to me, hoist me up as your “savior”, stand up and sing out your gratitude, that’d be good."

Mikoto even uses similar verbage to that used in his first written interrogation when asked about these things in the lyrics of Double. Such as right, and that'd be good.

So, yeah there's all that.

[onehundredgar]

Click for Palestine 🇵🇸 : https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/

Hey! What’s up? Thanks for coming around!

Pseudonym’s Annie. I’ve got most of my quick info in my bio, if you ever feel inclined to skim it! I’m Bangladeshi and Muslim. I’m also aspec, omnisexual, and pangender. I also am very large and contain multitudes.

This is my main blog! I reblog a lot of stuff I find funny, stuff about the moon, about animals and nature but birds and fish in particular, about community and partnership and overcoming prejudice, about love and family and friends, and about identity and orientation and mental health.

I tag all my posts, replies, and reblogs as accurately as I can. If there are any issues with my tags, post contents, or anything else in my blog, please let me know so I can fix it and make it a more comfortable online space!

I love meeting people! If you'd like to, shoot me a message or an ask and you can be sure I'll respond!

Below is the alphabetically organised guide to my current fandoms and my relationship with them, and to my organisational structure for my tags. It's a long post; keep reading at your own risk!

Fandoms!

Artemis Fowl

I can be safely critical of it nowadays since it's geared towards a younger audience but I respect the solid worldbuilding it portrays, especially for a children's book. Good stuff- I'd still recommend it.

Don’t Hug Me I’m Scared

Again, got into it when I was younger and it kind of burrowed its way into my brain where it rotted, forgotten, for ages until the sudden new season. Not necessarily emotionally invested, but the Three Of Them have my whole heart for sure.

Dungeon Meshi

I got into it VERY recently by binging the manga, and now I'm keeping up with the Netflix adaptation! Obsessed with the solid worldbuilding.

Gravity Falls

Top fandom ever everrrrr. Got obsessed with it as a kid and I’ve never let it go since. I know all the sordid fandom history, all the best and most popular headcanons of current day, and some the most based fanartists and fics. I do a lot of recreational multishipping in my dark and evil mind palace.

My Little Pony

Come on come onnnnn. It's a classic. I have an encyclopaedic and philosophical understanding of the MLP universe. No I will not talk about it.

Percy Jackson

Hey I mean it was pretty formative for me when I was younger. Got me into mythology! I'm critical of it nowadays but I cannot deny the positive impact it had on me. Good stuff! Haven't and probably won't watch the new live adaptation.

The Wind-Up Chronicle Bird

Read it VERY recently. Super surreal, and as always, Murakami never misses. However, the books I am emotionally invested in change on a monthly basis. Expect the title to switch in a little bit.

Welcome to Night Vale

I got into it half a year ago and it literally changed my brain chemistry. One of my forever fandoms for sure, though I must admit it fell off after "Father Kevin"...

Tag Organisation Guide!

Annie’s Anomalous Affairs:

#annie’s aberrant abominations - there’s very little content in this tag. OC tag; I don’t reaaaally talk about my OCs though so don’t worry about it. It’s mostly stuff I reblog to help character build anyway. I’ll list the subtags for individual OCs below as they appear on my blog.

#abomination: Danny #abomination: Hannah #abomination: Hedon #abomination: Lola #abomination: Spring #abomination: Teresa

#annie adores advice - there’s a LOT of content in this tag. Advice or awareness spreading I reblog that I think will help me live easier, or to signal boost so people who need it can use it.

#annie argot - posts of mine where I think I utilised especially clever wordplay, which I archive under this tag for future writing reference.

#annie attempts art - my art! At least up until now I’ve drawn purely on Procreate so it’s all digital medium.

#annie awakened - a tag specifically for answering asks and mentions!

#annie awkwardly articulates - my posts! I talk about my thoughts and experiences, or I’ll be archiving a chat I had here online.

#authentic annie appearances - screenshots of text conversations with my IRL friends.

Annie Appreciates…:

#birdposting - just the same; reblogging cool and/or funny posts about birds! I love birds. Love their behaviour, love how they evolve, love eating them. I try to include the species of bird in the tags whenever I can!

#boys will be boys - I use this tag whenever I am appreciating masculinity! This includes folks being silly, being kind, being geeky, and all around being. Often accompanied by the “girl moment” tag (elaborated on below).

#classic - tag for infamous Tumblr posts that I archive for myself! Gotta collect those heritage posts, man. Can’t have a blog without the colour of the sky.

#classic + #to me - iconic Tumblr posts that feel like they should be infamous but aren’t for some reason.

#fishposting - you guessed it; reblogging cool and/or funny posts about fish! I love fish. Love their biology, love how they look, love eating them. I try to include the species of fish in the tags whenever I can!

#girl moment - I use this tag whenever I am appreciating femininity! This includes folks being silly, being kind, being geeky, and all around being. Often accompanied by the “boys will be boys” tag (elaborated on above).

#later gator - the tag I use to save things (usually videos) to look at later when I’m scrolling tumblr at double-time (or have my volume on), probably because I’m at work.

#my romantic wife - that’s the moon! I adore the moon, it’s unmatched (tag not to be confused with the term I often use, “my platonic wife”, elaborated on below)!

#number - tag for things that I think are attractive, ranging from blatant thirst trap art to standard-ATX motherboards.

#take me out to dinner first - tag for scheduled posts that have something to do with the date of the day.

Annie’s Associates:

#DNA double felix-cipher - tag for tumblr user @toytanks, Felix-Cipher. The tag is a play on the term “double helix structure”.

#my froinds :3 - I talk about or reblog posts that remind me of my IRL friends! My friends are very important to me and I love them so so much.

#sarufiyyun - tag for tumblr user @biblicallyaccuratepigeons, Seraph-Chim, who’s angelkin. Sarufiyyun is the Islamic term for Seraphim.

#the coworker - this very specific colleague I have who who is pretty eccentric. She stalks my blog. You can find her snarky remarks under the reclusive @annielover69420 handle.

#the spouse - this is “my platonic wife” (not to be confused with the tag “my romantic wife”, elaborated on above)! My best friend who I’ve known for nearly two decades. I have a special tag for her because I have a special relationship with her. Sometimes I will be a little sulky about her, but hey, marriage has its ups and downs!

Annie’s Avocations:

#art reference - what it says on the tin. Step by step guides or simple diagrams of art tips; whatever helps me draw!

#recipes - I feel like I should throw this tag in here now that I have at least two or three reblogs for it. Cool recipes for cool food I’d like to make one day.

#tutorial - tutorials for anything at all! I eat life advice for every meal. Sometimes these won't be strictly tutorials but something adjacent— I tag as such anyway so I can find it later under that label if necessary.

#writing - yes, I have nothing to show for it on here, but I’m a writer! Tag for writing tips and also inspiration.

That's all, folks! Have a good one!

[temunitu]

Do you have any good Mike or Raph fic or anything? Could be any version but I think it would be nice to read about the other half of the turtle boys. That and I just want to read more Mikey fanfic…

here’s my list with a quick rating and summary to help you find exactly what you want! some of these are just on my reading list but i’ve heard good things about them, or they sound interesting.

this list is mostly mikey because that's my boy right there. i haven't seen many raph and mikey fics unfortunately. someday i'll complete mine.

as usual, if any of y'all have read any good fics and want to recommend some, feel free! we love and appreciate raph and mikey on this blog.

fics i have read:

(Rise Mikey) Going Under - 12/10 i was on the edge of my seat. the boys are facing a new villain and mikey gets trapped underwater. made me cry

(Rise Mikey) Sometime I Get Lost Under The Painted Sky - 12/10 post rise movie mikey tries out vent art for the trauma he got from the kraang. love the way the author describes the paintings of kraang and mikey's feelings surrounding it. sent chills up my spine.

(2003 Mikey) A Simple Act of Kindness - 10/10 very cathartic, also made me tear up. an accurate depiction of what the next battle nexus would look like and how mikey would react to losing.

(2003 Mikey) Better Genes - 9/10 i’ve been obsessed with this prompt ever since i found out about it. it’s a simple rewrite of if mikey was infected instead of don during the 2003 good genes arc. has a lot of references to 2003 and a few to 2012. the chapter “journey to the center of mikey’s mind” is beautifully described and really captures the mystic feelings 2003 has.

(2003, all) Dissection - 14/10 much needed talking through what happened after the space arc. very in character. made me chuckle AND tear up.

-

fics i'm reading:

(Rise F!Mikey) Mystic Hands - so far, the writing is so eloquent and rich. it's about mikey travelling back in time instead of casey jr. iconic peepaw, he travels back in time and immediately takes a nap. couldn't agree more.

(Rise F!Mikey) Too Lucky To Count - another future mikey goes back in time fic! (can you tell i have a niche interest?) so far, the writing is so gripping, talking about how each character died in the apocalypse. f!mike seems to have a dry, dark sense of humor from what i can tell which should prove hilarious.

-

fics on my to-read:

(Rise Mikey) Stranger Danger - rise mikey and 2012 mikey swap places! sounds like a really interesting concept.

(Rise Mikey) Portal Chaos - an au mikey (inspired by the last ronin) gets transported back in time. the author has a LOT of fun art for this one.

(2003 Mikey) Pretend That I Never Left - alternate fic where mikey is thrust into the world of horizon: zero dawn instead of reality check. i've seen the artwork and i'm excited to read this.

(2003 Raph) From Ruins - takes place in the SAINW timeline. looks exceedingly interesting, and the authors have illustrations to go with the story (can you tell i love art?)

(Rise Sunset Duo) Hold Him Tight (And Never Let Go Again) - "Mikey never realized just how much it hurt that he and Raph drifted away, until he ends up with an unconscious Raphael, trapped in a collapsing building, and unable to reach his brothers." i'm gonna cry so hard when i read this one, aren't i?

(Rise Raph) Elegy of An Older Brother - explores raph's feelings post-movie and how he's coping with no longer being leader.

(Rise Raph) Glass Heart - post movie, the others treat raph with more care after he got infected. i think it's a bunch of oneshots of raph bonding with various family members? sounds cute.

(Rise Raph) Unfavorable Ramifications - post-movie, raph dealing with the loss of his eye and getting comforted by donnie and mikey. skimmed through it and it seems in-character, like a fun read.

i'll add more whenever i come across them

[sentience-if]

Wait, I'm genuinely having trouble keeping track of the poly combos, please help me

I know Klaus/Val is one

And I know Connie/Ira is another

I? Think?? Kat isnt in any poly, or am I wrong??? Did my brain lie to me?

I know you are anti-Val/Connie (which I will go cry over in a corner about, don't mind me)

Is Klaus/Connie a poly option or did my brain lie to me x2? Because I thought that was an option but I am playing through the update (Finally, hooray, I have time in my schedule!!) and am realizing that, nope, that is not one of the options I can select(?)

Am I missing anyone else?

(btw I would love if, under the Masterpost's Read More, the poly options could be added after the ROs but before the Content Warnings or something, because I tried to use tumblr-search to find a list (and either this hellsite is still broken or there isn't one) and I skimmed through the Masterpost and I would love to not have my irl memory-loss (yes, I am just THAT much like Io, cosplayers WISH they could get as close to Io as I can 💁‍♀️💅 (what debilitating inability to shift short-term memories into long-term and then, instead, just get memory-loss somehow, what are you TALKING about)) eat up my memory of already asking this and tumblr's likely broken search-feature not be able to find this post/any other list again, a million thanks and pardons if I could request that and not accidentally bother you with the same question again in the future because I know for sure I would, like I did before sending this Ask, check the Masterpost before asking "hi, what are the Poly Options again?", I'm so sorry but thank you for hearing out my accomadation request xoxo)

fair enough I say a lot of nonsense lol. the polys are:

Val/Klaus

Ira/Connie

theres no Kat poly bc the only other character who can stand her is Ira, and I like them better as platonic

the Klaus/Connie thing you're thinking of was either from an ask of someone joking about io/klaus/val/Connie, or bc I've alluded to there being some kind of relationship in the past between klaus and guinefort

(and yeah I can make an FAQ once I'm back at my computer :^) )

[dean-winchester-is-a-warrior]

Use Me

Gif from this post by @dunderklumpen

Summary: You'll do anything to make Dean's nightmares go away.

Warnings/Explicit 18+: Bit of smut, mostly angst, so - smangst. Nothing too crazy. Implied, future smut, nakedness, featuring Dean's mouth.

Pairings: Dean Winchester x Y/N

Word Count: 650

A/N: I saw this post, and immediately wanted to make my baby feel better. This is what floated through my head. Enjoy! 😊

The beautiful divider below and at the bottom was created by @talesmaniac89

Masterlist || Tag Lists

"Dean?" You call softly from the side of his bed. 

You know not to get too close when he's having nightmares like these, head twisting from side to side, limbs thrashing, muscles clenched tight and rigid.

"Dean?" You call again, but he's not responding; he's too lost in the horrors in his mind, and the way his beautiful face contorts in pain makes tears shimmer in your eyes.

It's been such a horrific few days for him. He finally got out of the hospital earlier that afternoon, barely healed from the physical wounds Alastair had heaped upon him.

You weren't sure he'd ever fully recover from the emotional evisceration the devil spawn had doled out to him.

Sam had been the one to tell you, Dean wouldn't even talk about it. But you knew he was blaming himself, telling himself that he was weak and pathetic for caving beneath the torture of Alastair's blade.

You'd tried to talk to him about it, but he'd silenced you with a couple harsh words and then a gentle squeeze of your hand to try and soften them.

But now he's obviously drowning in his pain, and you're desperate to end it. Or to ease it, at least.

So, with that in mind, you venture closer to the bed and reach out your hand to shake his shoulder. It takes ages of shaking him and calling his name to finally pull him out of hell again, and back to your side.

When he wakes, his bright green eyes fly open, a small dark spot marring the white part near his iris - blood vessels broken and bleeding from Alastair's fists the day before. 

But it's healing, getting smaller. His true wounds lie in the terror and hopelessness you can read easily in his verdant gaze. 

You push your fingers through the sweaty hair at his temple, trying to soothe him.

"You're okay. You're safe."

You move to sit beside him, but before you can, Dean sits up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. 

He drops his head into his hands and you can hear the way his throat catches, as though he's choking back tears. You stand in front of him and rub your hands across his wide, bent, and burdened shoulders.

"Dean." It's all you can say as tears clog your own throat.

Suddenly and feverishly, Dean wraps his arms tightly around your hips, burying his face in your belly as his shoulders shake silently.

Tears fall freely for you now as you wrap your arms around his head. "Shh." You soothe quietly. "It's okay, we're okay." You say, trying to reassure both of you. 

Dean's arms tighten even further around your hips till the embrace is almost painful.

Then he abruptly pulls away, yanking at your nightgown, pulling it up and off of you in one fluid motion. You gasp, suddenly naked - you weren't expecting this response. But when he looks up at you, his expression is desperate and pleading. 

"Please, Y/N, make me forget?" He closes his eyes tightly. "I can't forget; their faces are all piling up in my head. Give me something beautiful."

He presses his lips softly in kisses across your stomach and your breath starts coming in ragged puffs.

His fingers reach up and trail ever so gently over the rise and fall of your breasts. 

"You're so beautiful, Y/N." His right hand falls your core and he slips one finger into your damp folds, raising you onto your tiptoes with a moan. "Please, let me sink into your beautiful."

His voice is muffled against your hip as he skims his mouth over your rounded flesh.

He looks up at you from under his thick lashes and his eyes are begging.

"Please?"

Your answer is immediate and unhindered by any doubts. "Yes, I'm here for you, Dean, for whatever you need. Use me."

1 - Jensen RPF + Any/All characters Jensen plays. @lyarr24 @deans-spinster-witch @impalaslytherin @maggiegirl17 @akshi8278 @candy-coated-misery0731 @nt-multi-fandom @deanswaywardgirl @slytherinlyn314 @globetrotter28 @jensensgirl @perpetualabsurdity @tristanrosspada-ackles @djs8891 @muhahaha303 @kayyay1219 @emily-winchester @recoveringpastaaddict @maximumkillshot @mimaria420 @sacriceria @envyaurora95

2 - Dean Winchester Fics Only. @saikosheadcanons @lgranger67 @carryonwaywardgirl

3 - Any/All Fics (regardless of fandom/character.) @sunshineandwings86 @kazsrm67 @sexyvixen7 @alexxavicry @nancymcl

4 - Everything (includes fan vid/DOOL edits as well) @unabashed-lover-of-fictional-men @awkward-and-indecisive @maliburenee @supernatural4life2022 @spn730015 @b3autyfuldisast3r @kickingitwithkirk @waywardbaby @foxyjwls007 @deanwanddamons @deandreamernp @deanwithscissors @myloversgone @snowlovespie @leigh70 @all-alone-he-turns-to-stone @charred-angelwings @hopefuldreamers-world @mysherlock221b @jensensgotyoudean @stixnstripesworld @thoughts-and-funnies @magssteenkamp @norman1967 @princessmisery666 @eevvvaa @mishkatelwarriorgoddess @deepsketchsupernaturalcowboy @b-i-t-c-h-i-e @twirpbunwarrior @mysweetlittledesire @waynes-multiverse @mrsjenniferwinchester @bernasaurus @jensenslady79 @courtn92 @avanatural @ellie-andthemachine @this-is-me19 @roseblue373 @katbratsupernaturalwhore @fanfic-n-tabulous

[eddiernunson]

Trapped | Eddie Munson | Part 8 | 18+

[This isn't a very accurate title anymore but I don't know what else to call it?]

Prev Part | Master Post | Next Part

Paring: Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 9.9k

Warnings: One mention of risky public sex, (sorry there's only one smut scene), there's about two total specific sentences that I wrote that I would consider cringey, but when I took them out it didn't have the same bite to it. All of my other chapters were meticulously edited. I barely skimmed this one. Apologies for that.

MINORS DNI

Authors note: I think this is the last smut scene I'll be presenting to you in this story, as we have caught up with canon. If any smut scene in the next Chapter it would be right before Hellfire, and I'm pretty sure I'm placing her in the game, making that the last time they see eachother before Chrissy is killed by Vecna. I just wanted to communicate I had a lot more intentions before catching up to the show, I wanted to establish more of a relationship with his band members, write a scene where Corroded Coffin performs, have far more scenes including Dustin (he's so fun to write), but I fear I was very ambitious as I had a hardcore schooling program in January and will pick it back up in March. I had so much fun writing this story, thank you to anyone has cared about it.

I'm sorry to inform you if you wish for me to change Eddie's ending, I don't think I will, which makes this chapter all the more tragic. It's interesting to write someone talking about their future when you know they won't have one.

My original plot points will cease and I will pick up with the main story line for now on. The only episode that has me remotely stumped is Dear Billy which is the only one Eddie doesn't feature in. I hope to bring the canon story line justice.

The last few days of December were spent filled to the brim with get togethers of in several different combinations of the members. Unbeknownst to you, Mike and Eleven had only had a few hours together alone for the entire holiday, creating a terribly irritable Mike in company leading to her departure. Nancy spent most of the time telling Mike off about his attitude until he let out his frustrations to her, and she was more forgiving.

In fact, she defended the two when berated about being ‘shut-ins’ from the rest of the group. Nancy would’ve loved to have the same problem as him, still frustrated at Johnathan for staying in California when she could hear Joyce encouraging him to go. Yet she extended a courtesy towards him all the same.

Unfortunately, this started a minor ridge in the two of them, Nancy refusing to start an argument during the holiday on the phone but when it hits January figuring it was too late. Isn’t that how resentments start.

In light of the New Year, El taking off back to California, basketball season beginning, exam season picking up, it felt like being thrown headfirst into an ice-cold lake after being at a nice warm campfire. Jarring, and borer-lining on illegal. Illegal might be too much, but why did they put exams after right after holiday?

The night before school had started again, you spent well into the night on the phone with Eddie, soft mumblings, both half a sleep and neither one of you wanting to hang up. What a stupid cliché, something the members of Corroded Coffin would make fun of him for, but Eddie has started to find a nice balance.

Morning of the first day back was riddled with the hustle and bustle of friends bragging about their presents and school announcements of upcoming dates for exams and college applications. You haven’t even started thinking about college, the future almost too much to bear. In the hallway, speaking with Eddie with Garreth, making fun of Josh for a stunt he pulled with his girlfriend that almost cost him their relationship, Ms. Kelley interrupts your conversation graciously.

“Sorry, gentlemen, Y/N. I was heading out of the office and they had asked me to send Eddie down to them,” she says gently, a method she uses her students which most of you find effective.

“Oh, uh. I haven’t-“ Eddie starts, a streak of decent behaviour having miraculously kept him out of the office.

“Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble.” She says, assuring him.

Eddie sighs, smiling at you and Garreth and trudging off to the office, not given any choice in the matter. “What do you think they want him for?” Garreth asks you, also stunned due to Eddie’s lack of spats with his teachers.

“Not a clue.”

-

Eddie walks into the front office for the first time since late October, inhaling as a heap of mild anxiety hits him. When he found himself in trouble for most of his highschool career, he instigated it. He would be bored out of his mind, wanting a little pizzazz to his afternoon, so he would get himself sent to the office.

Now, for the first time ever, he was sent when he knew he had done nothing wrong. Scheming to get his girlfriend in the custodian closet with him during the lunch period is not nothing but it’s not like he’s done it yet.  

“Oh, hello Edward.” One of the administrators greet him, and he finds himself under the knowledge of what it’s like to walk in the office as a normal student. There were no sneers, no eye rolls upon his entrance into the office. “Take a seat, Principal Higgins will call you in a moment.”

He sits on the opposite side of the delinquent chairs, a group of seats reserved for students who are sent and may have to wait an extended period. Sitting, staring, confuddled by the very moment that he has been brought to. “Edward.” Higgins walks out of his office, gesturing behind him to lead Eddie in. “Come on in.”

The first bell rings, and Eddie could hear one of the administrators start the morning Monday announcements as the office door closed behind him.

“Good morning, thanks for joining me for moment today.” He greets Eddie, and Eddie is sitting awkwardly, unsure how to behave when he wasn’t in any trouble. “I’m sure you’re very curious to why you’re in here, your track record has been exceeding expectations lately.”

He nods silently, clutching onto the arm chairs with both arms, looking around the office he had been in on numerous occasions. His Uncle had joined him once or twice, the talk of suspension, once the talk of an expulsion mentioned that had Wayne chewing him up that very night. It’s been long enough Eddie noticed the changes made in the office, a lighter green curtain that brought some light into it.

“I’ll get right onto it, then.” He fold his hands, in such a principal way. “As you recall, we had a discussion about your academic career and that this is your last chance to graduate here this September.” Eddie nodded, and the memory of Wayne immediately calling to request to be put on night shift flashes. “I had stated you only needed nine credits to complete the full 300 to graduate, meaning 3 classes. Incidentally, the same three classes you have been repeating.”

Eddie nods, and for the first time he’d rather be in class. Might have to do something with you being in his line of sight, but Spanish is turning out to be an interesting subject. “I am afraid I have some bad news.”

“Bad news?” Eddie asks, eyebrow raised and already afraid of what he might hear.

“I’m afraid we missed about 5 credits, the equlivalent of two classes.” Eddie’s face goes hard, his jaw locking. He was pissed, and for good reason. “I can see you didn’t like this news. Good news, one of the extra optional classes we now offer is Music Theory. Because of your good behaviour and increasing grades, we have decided to reward you with that being one of your classes. You passed band with flying colours, and a buddy of mine says your band isn’t too bad, so I figure you’d be okay in that class.”

Eddie wasn’t sure how to take this. He hasn’t been rewarded for anything academically since his youth. “I- thank you.” There wasn’t much he could add on top of this, but he knew he had said enough.

“Of course. Now your second class, there weren’t many options, and I’m sure you don’t need to take another science or math this close to graduating.” Higgins comments, and Eddie is confused when his principal almost starts looking like a normal person. Where’s the wolf in sheep’s clothing?

“I’m okay at math. No complaints there.” Eddie comments, and the sigh Higgins gives him leads to a flux in laughter.

“Edward. Eddie. I’m doing you a favour. One I think would be less antagonizing than World Geography is World Religion. No hellfire to study, but I think you’d find it more interesting.” Was that a joke. Did his principal just make a goddamn joke? About the name of his club? Eddie had to get out of there before the walls started caving in. “Sound good? Only two more classes after exams and I’ll see you on that stage. Right?”

Eddie is stunned, and nods vigorously, one thousand percent agreeing with this plan. He wonders how much differently this conversation would’ve gone had he not put in a goddamn effort. Fuck you.

“Uh. Anything else?” He asks, afraid for the third shoe to drop.

“No, that’ll be all. Keep up the good work, Munson. I look forward to handing you the diploma in May.”

It seems Eddie was dismissed only on social cues, the look of Mr. Higgins now bringing out some paper to peer over his glasses curiously. He slowly raises from the chair, and leaves the office for the first time with no consequences, and yet, it’s the least confident he’s ever felt.

-

Eddie entered the classroom about ten to fifteen minutes late, and you already had an inkling that the phone call Seniorita received had something to do with it, seeing as he wasn’t even acknowledged. You turned your head back to get a general consensus of his mood. How did it go? What did Higgins have to say? Were you about to have some words with your own principal?

The shrug he gives you mixed with a laughter, shaking his head tells you nothing and at the same time everything. Something happened.

It wasn’t until lunch when you found out after a class with Robin filled with passing notes and a biology class that drives you to later get a hold of Nancy and beg for her magic flashcards that you finally find out why Eddie had gone to the office for.

“So, you’re being rewarded?” You ask, taking a bite from the sandwich you have chosen for the day. “Damn. Must feel weird.”

“It does.” Eddie comments shifting as he snacks from his lunch box tin. “I mean, I’m also being punished because I was supposed to be done this semester and spend next one finding a damn job until I graduated, but more time with her.”

“That’s cute.” Robin, comments, sticking her tongue out at Nancy.

Nancy snickers, working over a few sheets of paper. “Nance? New expose on the realities of hard drinking?” You joke, just wanting to know what she had been working on.

“No, uh working on early admission applications. Me and Johnathan were talking about our plans for after high school and we found a school we both liked the programs for. I will make early admission for sure and I’m helping him write his college essay for it.” You gulp, looking at Eddie. Four months into your relationship, it wasn’t a conversation you had yet. Wasn’t even in your line of thought. Even around Christmas your mom was starting on your ass about looking at places to apply and it was too much to even think about.

Eddie leans into you. “Are you panicking, too?”

A sigh of relief escapes your mouth. “Yes. We haven’t even-”

“We’ll get to it.” That simmers down your own anxieties, but Eddie’s remain flared.

Lunch continues, and eventually Eddie is called to the Hellfire table. He asks if you want to join, but you decline, having a chance to ask Nancy for her flashcards. Work is mundane, not unusual. Steve sits on the counter cross legged, exuberantly helping out the women who walk in as ever. You take note he’s been going on more dates lately, and the have started to become increasingly shallow. Not that you judge, it’s more worry. Whatever Steve was looking for, whatever he had hoped to find, you weren’t sure he was going to find it.

“My love. You have a problem.” You mutter to him after he successfully gets a cute brunette’s phone number.

“Yeah, yeah. All it’ll take is one date and I’ll know. I’ll hop-skip this dopey cursed town with her and...get a damn van for all I care.” Steve mutters the end of his sentence mostly to himself than to you.

“A van?” You peer curiously, leaning on the counter next him as he tucks in the phone number into his vest pocket.

“Yeah. A van. Something stable.”

You squint at him, this new attitude of his being sent at a left field. Why was everyone suddenly so keen on discussing their future?

“What’s on your mind?” Steve asks you, leaning down to talk.

“Not much.” It’s a lie, and it was like you didn’t even attempt to sound genuine.

“She’s lying.” Robin pipes up, entering the front counter area. “I mean, you know that, but our girl has been in thought since lunch.”

“So, spill.” Steve states, as if spilling your guts was so easy.

You sigh, not wanting to get into it. “Suddenly everyone around me is talking about college, leaving town, their future. We haven’t even brought ours up yet, hell we only started saying the word Love last month. I’m not sure how to approach it. Should we be talking about college? Would I go to college, and he works here? Would we move in and shack up and he works where I choose to go? Would he resent for that, moving for me. How am I supposed to ask for his plans without sounding-I don’t know dumb or something.”

It was a load of questions off your chest, all of them having occurred to you after Eddie left the table, staring at him laughing obnoxiously. A boy who was just rewarded for improving behaviour in the office this morning now acting rowdy in the cafeteria. In the middle of your internal freakout Eddie glances over, knowing your common habit is to is leer after him. You don’t mind him catching you, especially when he gives you a saucy little wink in the middle of it like he did. You felt mildly guilty for not telling him about any of it but usually these anxieties need a channel to go through before reaching the source.

“That’s not even the tip of the iceberg.” You manage out, sighing as your head lands in your hands.

“Those are words you probably need to bring up with him, yeah?” Steve asks, pointing out the obvious.

“Almost like she needs someone to vent about it before she does.” Robin comments, pointing out an empathy link that Steve seemed to be missing.

“Well. Say it so, you still need to bring it up with him.” Steve states, and you wanna crawl in a hole from the pure fact that he was right.

-

It would be a lie to say that you were alone in this thought process. Eddie had been thinking through of the same thing, and Nancy’s mention of applications with your wide eyes had brought forth a looming thought he had middle of November. Maybe looming wouldn’t be the right word, but it sat there, the kind of thought that you’re not ready for so you set it aside for when it comes up.

It came up.

A quiet night while you were at work at the Munson’s, Eddie practising his bass in the living room as Wayne absentmindedly watches a rerun. Doesn’t bother him, he’s used to tuning out the loud music. The less he fights his nephew on, the more it matters when he has something to say. Eddie ends up messing the part he was attempting yet again, grunting in frustration and kicking over the nearest object.

Wayne finally turns down the volume to the tv and looks Eddie directly in the eyes. “Hey. What’s the matter, you’ve been stuck on this part for the last hour and I’ve heard you and your band perform this enough times to know it’s in your regular set list. What gives.”  

“Just not happening for me tonight, I guess.” Eddie puts his prized guitar aside, and rubs his eyes tiredly. Maybe he should’ve put a stop when he realized how doomed it was.

“No, that’s not it. When your hands aren’t co-operating it slides right off you like butter. You got some big news today, I’m not sure what that his to do with it. Edward. I don’t judge. Lord knows I’m not in much of a position in life to judge. Tell me what’s on your mind.”

“We got to talking about College and shit today, and she just looks at me, all wide-eyed and it occurs to her we haven’t talked about our futures together. I’ve been avoiding it, because, well, the inevitable.”

“Inevitable.” Wayne states, blinking.

“Yeah. That girl has a future much brighter than whatever the fuck I can give her. The moment she realizes what a loser I am outside of this school and how little I’ll be able to provide for her..it’ll destroy the two of us.” Eddie comments, and while Wayne is listening intentionally, he’s uncomfortable with how matter of fact he was stating it. “I figured about a month before graduation I’ll just end it to save us both the heartache.”

Wayne lets it sit in the air, dramatic and final. He gets up to grab a beer in the fridge, grabbing his nephew one as well. As soon as they both had a sip, their eyes on the tv, Wayne reaches out and gives Eddie a good smack on the head.

“Ow, Jesus, Wayne. What the hell?” Eddie complains, rubbing his head.

Wayne takes another sip, wiping his mouth. “That was the biggest load of bullshit I’ve ever heard, Edward. If you have decided for this long that you plan to break up with the girl for her sake, then break up with her! Don’t drag her along, that is unfair to her and to yourself.” Wayne pauses, taking another inhale of his cigarette. “And when you do, after this great speech of leaving her for her own good, which a gain, bullshit, you think she’ll just let you go? No. Be a man, son. Talk to her. Tell her you’re scared, because chances are, so is she.”

Just like that Eddie had is ass handed to him, and he realized about the same time you did there was a conversation needed about where both your heads are in regard to the future.

-

The next morning students were welcomed with a banner, asking students to recognize and congratulate their new basketball team captain, Jason Carver. You recognized him, didn’t mean you were necessarily going to enjoy doing so. Eddie had some deals to make that morning, backed up from lack of deals some students were able to make during the holiday when they were on vacation. Robin had morning band practise for the frequent prep rallies the band would be playing at, Nancy dealing with putting out fires in the newspaper. You would hang with Hellfire if it didn’t feel so odd without Eddie. Nothing against the club or it’s members, you knew Eddie liked their company for good reason.

It was early in the morning, you’re sat at your cafeteria table, listening to the Walkman you haven’t really used in two and a half years, mind filled to the brim with questions. You had started to write them down, wanting to get the ideas out of your head before approaching it to Eddie. Calm mind, calm conversation. You’d spent a good ten minutes on your list, still plenty of time before the school day started, even some of the teachers not having arrived yet, and your music stops in the middle of a sentence you were writing.

You look up at where you had laid your Walkman, and it’s still playing with no stereo. Your hand goes to the wire connected to your headphones and it leads you to the very mentioned, very infamous Jason Carver is stood at your table, holding the very wire you were looking for. You take off your headphones, flabbergasted at the sheer audacity that Jason must hold in his right pinky. “Hi, Jason. Can I help you.”

“You show up early most days, I figure I’d catch you alone one of these days.” Jason states, as if it’s not the creepiest thing you have heard. Jason has been slowly waiting since the day in October for you so he can corner you, alone.

That is stalker behaviour. When does he get the time? “That is terrifying Jason, and I’ll make sure to pass the news that you are a creep. I’m afraid to ask but what the hell do you want?”

Jason places his hands on his hips and it’s not nearly as charming as when Steve does it. “I wanted to make sure you know who you’re with, Y/N. You are not the type of girl who should be around him, getting involved in his cult, in his drugs, in his bullshit. I-I’m sure the bad boy type is fun for now, but come on. Use that brain of yours. It is not too late. You can still go.”

“Jason.” You attempt to start, and the whole thing is so loaded you barely know where. “I can make my own decision. I know you’re a captain, congrats. Just because you lead a group of sweaty boys on a court doesn’t mean you can be the playmaker out here. I decide who to spend my time with.” You smirk as you start packing, a thought that occurs that you don’t say for Jason’s sake.

“Why are you smiling? I’m trying to help you, here.” Jason seems frustrated, and if he were acting human you’d feel for him.

“You don’t want to know, bud.” You attempt to mend it, and hoping he’ll leave it at that.

“No. Why are you smiling?”

Fine, if he insists. “I was just thinking that maybe there are other girls in the school okay with their left labia being rubbed for thirty second and then asked if they came, which by the way, one of my exes is on your team and did just that. I’d rather someone who makes me squirt all over his bed several times in one night just for the hell of it, oh shit, I’m sorry, was that too much information? I want someone who cares about me, who loves me. So, if he gets a little culty, at least he doesn’t include me on it.” Your bag is packed, you swing it onto your back.

“Carver.” Oh, thank god.

“H-Harrington. How’s it going, man? Haven’t seen you since-”

“Yeah, no. Did you tell her that you have been waiting for a moment to get her alone? You realize how shitty that sounds, right?” Steve asks, having heard the conversation and wanting to give you a moment to stick up for yourself. “Leave her the fuck alone. Be glad I have a better temper than The Freak, because he didn’t get that reputation out of nothing.”

A large sigh of relief escapes your lips as Steve sits down next to you, making sure you were okay. You nod, a little shaken from the prospect of being border-line stalked. “I’m glad you don’t have a Chief Hopper to rat him out to because Hop would’ve had his head in a minute.”

“I’m still considering it.” Steve says, sentence muffled by picking at the skin on his thumb. “Eddie doing deals this morning?” You nod, still lightly shaken. “If it’s mostly jocks I wonder if it’s a coincidence.”

That hadn’t occurred to you, and now you’re more freaked out. Steve was kind enough to stay with you until the halls started filling out more, chatting with you about the brown hair girl who had accepted his offer for a date. He didn’t seem too overly excited about her, but you tended to be worried when he was.

“You okay if I go?” he asks as he gets up from your table, now surrounded by old students.

“Yeah. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it. Well, you might want to mention it to Ed, but. You know. See you around.”

-

Sometimes, the starts seem to align no matter the chances. The very idea of both of you having discussions around mutual anxieties toward the future and the following day having the time to spend together to discuss seems too perfect. Nothing is ever perfect, and this discussion is about to be far from it.

The entire day at school had Eddie seething, gritted teeth as he suddenly felt dumb as to why all of the jocks needed something that morning. He had to beg up the ass from Rick to provide the necessities he needed to make the unbelievably hefty payday. He begged, hustled and got a good rotation going just for a complete creep to keep him occupied and get you cornered. Did he do his research and understand Robin had band practise and Nancy would be occupied on the newspaper?

How much did this prick try and use his social standing to get you alone and why did it matter?

Eddie was less inclined to beat the shit out of him and more annoyed, tired. Every time he managed to conclude his social standing wasn’t all that bad they pull some dumb ass stunt.

The two of you had made a plan to spend the night studying, and as an afterthought the both of you shared you had something you had wanted to talk about. Studying for your exams soon turned out to be a planned discussion of your futures when both of you wanted elaboration on what the other had to talk about.

So here you are, Eddie’s room. Some where you have been enough times to point, a point beaten to death by now, that it’s a home to you. Yet somehow the two of you are sat awkwardly on his bed like you were on his couch that fateful Friday night, like you had never seen his room before and he’d never experienced your kiss.

“So. I want you to tell me what’s in that pretty head of yours, then I’ll tell you what’s in this old nutcase’s head.” Eddie started, attempting to shift himself into a less stiff shape.

“A-alright,” you reluctantly agree, wondering if there was a particular reason he had insisted on going first. “Our relationship has been, words can’t describe, really. Never in any wildest dreams did I think that it would be this great. Reality being better than fantasy is my own personal jackpot. It couldn’t have gone any better than this.” You smile to yourself, and look up to him. Was that ..guilt on his face? You shake it off. “It’s weird, because discussing your future together after about four or so months together would be considered bizarre in normal high school relationships. I mean, it’s only four months. My parents have about 25 years on that, give or take. That’s just over 8 times as much. I always had a specific place in mind and I think I know what I want to study and it’s a generic enough subject to have some variety on where I may apply, and that’s enough to have options. I’m lucky to have those options. To have parents that guided me into a hard work ethic and able to decide where I want to go to school. That was everything to me, and suddenly it felt like too much. Where do I go? If I choose to go across the country, will you be joining me or would you stay in town? Is that too much to ask, for you to come with me? Is it too little that I am doubting that you would; because I can’t stand the thought of you more than Hawkins length away from me. Then I wonder, because when we started actually talking about your experience, you mentioned you thought you would wait until college. Does mean you have intentions on going one day? Or am I some egotistical bitch who doesn’t realize that you have huge dreams around Corroded Coffin and hope one day to open for Black Sabbath? I don’t know. Because this has never really come up before, in this extent. I want to. I want to know what your plans are. Maybe I can bend mine a little bit to be with you, if that’s alright with you.”

It was a lot for Eddie to digest, so to say. He would never admit it out loud, but he was astounded to how much thought you had given him in your future. You saw him. In fact, you saw him enough to wonder if he would take his music seriously, something he was considering, turning his cover/original song band into just original songs. It made what Eddie was about to say that much harder. He shifts in his chair, and he’s wondering how big of a bullet he’s about to bite. “As discussed, I won’t say anything, just share what I’m thinking.” He sighs, and it was harder than he was expecting. “I’m sharing this with you because Wayne thought it would be important.” A heavier sigh leaves his mouth, and you’re starting to worry. “I had this thought, and it was a kind of thought I tend to push aside until I’m ready to face it. I think it happened like two months ago.” He gulps, avoiding eye contact. “I had this thought, you’re too good for me. Too good to deserve the type of life I can provide for you. I mean, I could do an apprenticeship, if I have the grades. If I were to take Corroded Coffin on the road and put my heart into it, there’s a tiny ass chance would make it big, which is a whole nother level of heartbreak, being on the road everyday just for nothing to come out of it. I’m pretty much doomed to be a loser. I mean, three years as a senior doesn’t exactly say otherwise. I don’t want that kind of life for you. You don’t deserve it. You are going to do so much more, and be so much brighter than whatever hell I’ll give you. I figured before you find out the hard way”…you were already seething at this point, daring him to finish where you thought he was going with it, “I would us both a favour and end it before it got that far.”

This. Fucking. Asshole.

You just poured your fucking heart to him, rambling on about what possibilities you saw for your future together and he just admitted to planning on ending it before it even got that far? Is he fucking with you? The rage must’ve been clear on your face because when Eddie had finally made eye contact his eyes visibly widened, and went straight back to the floor. You get up, pacing back and forth along his room, trying to get your thoughts in place before responding.

“Are you fucking kidding me, Edward fucking Munson?” You inhale deeply, bringing your fingers spread on your forehead. “I had spent a good thirty minutes this morning attempting to get my head together in order to collect my thoughts so I can calmy and directly tell you how I see our future together. That’s what I thought this was. Talking about our future together.” You look off angry tears threatening to fall. “Turns out, you’re not willing to give it, to give us, the shot we deserve. You’re so fixated on thinking that you’re a loser, you’re willing to give away the very idea that we could be more than that, together.” You look him dead in the eye, having felt his eyes follow you around the room. “What’s more. You think you can decide who or what is good for me and my future. Thank you for the offer, but I can make my own decisions, or have you not been fucking a grown ass woman?” He winces, and you feel sorry.  “In my future, I’m with you. Until you decide you no longer love me. The idea of breaking up with someone because you love them, is bullshit. Don’t leave me because you’re scared. You should be running the other way, towards me. Have faith in me, in fucking us. In the idea of what we have is sacred, and worth holding onto.” You gulp, still furious he even had the idea to begin with, still, you walk over to sit down next to him. “I love you, but you’re a fucking idiot.”

Eddie gulps, and you can count on one hand you’ve seen him tear up before. He tries to blink the tears away, annoyed at himself. “You-you have that much faith in-in us?”

You half smile at him, understanding his true question. Did you have that much faith in him? “Eddie, you have no idea how much I think of you.” Tears threaten to fall down your face, and you almost start laughing at the different reasons for tears in this moment. “You brought me out of my shell, into someone that has the courage to drunkenly make out with her boyfriend at a big party, or maybe one day hook up in the custodian closet.”

The mist in Eddie’s eyes seem to dampen, and he raises his hand to frame your face delicately. “Am I that much of an idiot that I even considered letting you go?”

“You’re a full-fledged dumb ass.” You whisper to him, and you’re brought by his hand into a kiss, one full of emotion and unsaid resolution. You part into forehead to forehead, a sharp inhale from him as you rub his face with your thumbs, feeling his dimples appear as he smiles.

Emotional confessions into sex? Nah, you spent the night listening to music, Eddie playfully taking you through his music catalogue, explaining the politics and conspiracies of Black Metal/Heavy Rock albums. Couldn’t have gone any better than that.

-

Two days later you’re woken up by an unexpected honk outside your house. You peer outside your window, but you knew already who it was. The front door opens, and you’re curious to what can drive Eddie to use the key your mom had finally given him. You thought she was bluffing when she brought it up, but true to her word, now Eddie has a damn key to the house. If you didn’t know if she liked him then, now you did.

Eddie’s footsteps are heard coming up the stairs and within five minutes of hearing that initial horn Eddie is walking through the door, a look of despair on his face. “Ed?” You ask, tossing the blanket off you and shooting strait towards him. “Hey. Is everything okay?”

Eddie sighs, gulping. “I got a call around 3 in the morning, one of the other dealers in town, Benny, he also gets his supplies from him..um..Rick. Reefer Rick. He was arrested, police raided his house last night, someone sent an anonymous tip to the police, and they took it as word.”  

“Oh shit.” It might have been inappropriate, but it was your immediate reaction. “Oh my god, Ed. I’m so sorry. You okay?”

“I mean,” he sighs, his eyes shifting, avoiding eye contact with you, something you were sure he was doing to refuse the tears. “It sucks. Rick was, high. All the fucking time. I mean, he considered his heroes to be Cheech and Chong. Yet, he took over this area as the main supplier and ensured that what everyone received was safe. Before Rick, I didn’t have a sole supplier and sometimes I couldn’t guarantee what I was selling was safe. Which is shitty because I sell to highschoolers, well mostly anyway. I have loads of one-time buyers just trying for the first time.” Eddie pauses and looks at you with a sense of grief. “Shit, I’m gonna have to find a new dealer. Rick took me under his wing, made sure I was dealing for the right reasons, and taught me a lot about what I know now. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I shouldn’t have woken you up so early. I’ll go.”

“Hey, hey.” You didn’t even time yet, it was 4:15am. “I think you need some sleep. Come on, lie down.”

Eddie crawls into your bed, falling asleep within minutes. You put aside his jacket and boots, something you had to convince him to take off. You crawl in next to him, wrapping your arms around him as to comfort him.  

You were awake about three hours later to the sound of your alarm clock, Eddie barely even stirred. You waddle downstairs, grabbing cereal for some breakfast when your mom makes her way into the kitchen. “Morning sweetheart.”

“Hi mom. Um, just wanted to let you know-”

“I know. I saw his van.”

“He’s going through a hard time, a friend of his got arrested last night and he just needed someone to be with.” Your mom knows he deals. Even if you did decline to tell her, it’s not a town secret. He’s been arrested once or twice, also not a town secret. Wasn’t hard for your mom to put two and two together.

“Reefer Rick?” She asks delicately, putting the process of making her breakfast on hold. You almost ask how she knew, and she answers before you could. “It’s all over the news. There was a big raid of his house on Lover’s Lake. He’s being put to trial, but with the evidence they found it seems he’s going to prison.”

“Oh. That’s rough. Should I tell him, or let him find out through the news?” You ask her, clueless on how to help him.

Your mom offers her best word of advice, but in the end, Rick going to jail was always a possibility and those who deal are aware of the risks. It didn’t make it any less shitty. Both Eddie and Rick knew that Eddie woke up with a gloomy disposition, yet an aura of reluctant acceptance. What was he to do? His name was Reefer Rick, for crying out loud. Their ongoing joke was he wasn’t in prison, not yet at least. It was just odd the day had arrived when it did.

-

The odd news on weekend was met with in a left field on Monday morning, Mike walking up to the table where you, Steve, Robin, and Nancy were sat at the table, Nancy reaching into her bag to find her flashcards she had needed to dig up. As much as you were both students who tended to do well, she was in AP classes. Applying for college with your grades would be simple enough, but you were no Nancy. Her study notes were to die for, your saving grace.

As you were thanking her profusely you watch as Mike walks up to the table, his lankly stature hunched over. “Mike. Is something wrong?” You ask him, fingers playing with the flashcards.

Mike inhales, as if preparing himself. “Max broke up with Lucas last night. Usually I wouldn’t bother sharing, but Lucas is taking it a lot harder.”

“Oh, damn. Anything happen, or?” Steve asks, leaning back in his chair with his arms crossed. “I mean, she dropped him at the sound of a hat all summer. Won’t they be back together in like a week?” Steve doesn’t mean to be judgemental; he’s merely being observational.  

Nancy glared at Steve, the pointed under her brows in the are you kidding me kind. “They were inseparable at the beginning of the year. They definitely grew closer after last summer. Max breaking up with Lucas was just something she did. But they have been consistently together since September. Something is wrong.”

Mike agrees with her for once. “Yeah, he said she’s been acting off lately, but now she just shut him out. She’s in my chemistry class, I’m gonna try and talk to her, see if she’s ok.”

You leaned back in your chair, thinking about the number of times you have seen her around staring off into space or sitting in a corner by herself at a get together. Nancy sees the thought cross your face, in the way your eyebrows furrow, for only half a second. “Y/N, what? What’s on your mind?”

“Hmm?” You move your eyes around the table, all looking at you expectantly. “Uh…no, it’s probably nothing.” None of them were buying it, not enough to let it go. “Honestly, she’s been off since more noticeably since November. I wondered if I was just imagining things..maybe I should’ve said something.”

“You know Max. She’s stubborn. She wouldn’t have taken the help if you had offered it.” Nancy comforts you, and the collective group agrees with the sentiment.

Mike lurches himself off the table, rocking back and waddling awkwardly back to his table. “Yeah just passing the news. Lucas is pretty broken up about it, but now he’s on the basketball team so I guess he’ll just focus on that.”

“He’s on the team with that asshole?” You ask, fearful of the influence Jason had over his team and frankly, the rest of the school.

“I don’t know what he’s thinking.” Mike says, walking off, and the conversation is over with out a proper ending.

The bell rings, and before the four of you know it the cafeteria was crowded and filled to brim with students, Eddie coming to grab you as he headed to the final week of class right before finals, surprised Steve was still there. “Oh, you know me, sticking around to see you.” Steve jokes, and Nancy swats him away before he could be caught by a teacher and kicked out.

-

Finals come and go, and thanks to you and your meticulous study habits you had picked up from Nancy you managed to help Eddie get a C for the first time since his first attempt at passing grade 12. February had arrived and Valentines Day was right around the corner, wrapping the whole school in pink.

The gentlemen at Hellfire table made it clear that they had great disdain for the holiday, and you sat on Eddie’s lap as you both watch Peter tear it apart with amusement on both your parts. As you leaned back onto his chest, a smile sneaks its way onto your face, and you sneak a glance at Eddie before switching pack to watch Peter.

“What was that look?” Eddie says, leaning into your ear.

“They still have no idea who you are. Do they know you bought some roses for me from the school’s anonymous letter campaign, or are you gonna let Josh find out in third period for himself?” You ask him.

“As long as Peter doesn’t find out I joined the dark side.” He half jokes.

Eddie did buy you roses from the love letter campaign the school had done, only because you asked, practically begged him to. Problem is, he forgets you now share a class with Josh with the new semester and is dreadfully worried about you two gaining up on him. It was mere coincidence that you two were seated together, but it will be no coincidence in the daily roasting of him.

Unfortunately, with the new semester, came no classes with him. He still walks you to class when he can, but his first class isn’t until your third and his second one is right after lunch, so he gets basically the rest of the day to do what he or his uncle deems necessary. Considering you share a free period during his off hours you were excited to take advantage of the time with him.

When Valentine’s day rolls around, you arrive to school in a little skirt and some black knee high leather boots you were waiting for the perfect moment to break out. The afternoon hits, Eddie picks you up after your fourth period, having your fifth period with him free.  Eddie grabs you by the hand and leads you to your locker. You put away your books, staring oddly at him after he insists you had forgotten to put your bag away. You peer around your locker at him curiously but follow his suggestions anyway.

He starts walking down the hallway, leading you in a specific direction, but you can’t figure out to where he is leading you because it was not any clear way to a classroom, outside, or even the drama room.  The two of you stop and Eddie leans up against a seemingly random wall. “Do you trust me?” He asks looking down the hall both ways.

“Huh,” you ask, not sure if you heard him right.

“You trust me?” Eddie leans down, maintaining intentional eye contact with you, and you nod silently, wide eyes peering up at him.

Eddie gives you a mischievous smile, and you’re tugged into an open door you didn’t even notice him opening up behind his back. “What-what are we doing?” You ask already knowing the answer as Eddie hikes up one of your legs up to his hip and starts to work on your neck.

He turns around, making sure the door is closed and locking the room. In the custodian closet held a wooden shelf donated by the Wood Chop club. You leant up against it, watching your hot boyfriend close the door and turn on a small light.

Last week when you had asked Eddie if he could send flowers from the Anonymous Love Letter campaign at school because you’d appreciate it. He said it was fine, you just owed him a favour, which he could ask for at anytime. While a part of you was annoyed he’d asked for something in return, another part was thinking how hot he was as he told you, as if you weren’t given a choice in the matter. Your brain turned into goo, and it was impossible to deny it.

Eddie turns back around and lurches right back into nibbling on your neck. You lean into it for a moment and jerk back up when you remembered you were in a closet. “Wait, baby! Someone can walk in at any minute.”

“Not when the door’s locked, they can’t. C’mon, someone owes me a favour, remember?” Eddie says as you feel his nimble fingers travel slowly down the side of your hips and onto the fabric of your panties, you get the friction you can out of him but silently beg him to really touch you.

 Your stomach lurches at his sentence, but he goes around the fabric and rubbing your clit deeper and harder than before. Your breath becomes shallow as he stops and lets you answer. “You want me to fuck you in here because I owe you a favour?”

“No, I want you to fuck me in here because it’s Valentines Day and I love you, and what more exciting than a closet?” He pauses, and smirks at you. “Plus, you do owe me a favour.” You turn around, hiking up your ass against his hard cock, rubbing your barely clothed pussy against him. “Fuck, baby, you’re wet. You wanna fuck daddy in the closet, yeah? So everyone here knows when they smell it on you when you walk out?” Eddie’s words turned you on, your hips acting accordingly and doing a lap dance against his cock straining against his jeans. “So desperate for my cock, feel how wet she is, my poor baby. Do you need a cock in you?”

You wish he would shut up so you could actually bone, and at the same time hoped he would never stop talking to you like this. “Please fuck me, daddy.” You give in, the hot feeling in your pussy finally too much to ignore. The curiosity of the thrill and almost getting caught was even higher than at the restaurant.

“Has she been a good girl? Is it a good valentines day? Or was it a bad valentines day, princess?” He has his jeans and briefs off, bringing his dick out to be able to fuck you. You didn’t even have your own panties completely pushed aside yet, because it was not time for Eddie yet. You had a feeling if you had behaved well he’d take pity on you and be gentler.

“Good-good,” you stutter out when you realize he was waiting for a response as he stared at the outline of your pussy.

“Yeah, my good whore who thinks about my cock when I’m in all leather?” Eddie laughs, almost cruelly and steps back and you whimper at the prospect of his cock being not being even close to your entrance. You don’t have much time to mourn the loss, your boyfriend gently tugging on your hands to get on your knees. “I don’t think you have earned my cock yet, my love.”

He pushes his cock as far down your throat as you let it, nearly gagging the entire time. His cock is choking you so magnificently you choked back tears. He thrusts a few times, and you can feel the saliva gathering at the base. You feel Eddie’s hand guide you right up by the grip he had on your neck and he assist you on getting back up.

“Good girl?” You ask, suddenly desperate for his approval.

“Very good girl.” He assists you so you’re back on sitting on the shelf, panties still barely pushed aside, silently begging for some attention. He slips his hands under your skirt, sliding your panties down your legs. He takes it slow, moving down the entire length of your legs, watching as he moves the red lacey fabric and assists you in lifting your feet out.

You’re watching him as he takes a full look at the panties you had chosen to wear, crouched down at your feet and your roles are suddenly reversed, him at your feet. Eddie stares at the panties, brings them up to his nose and takes a deep inhale. Your mouth salivates at the sight, your heart pounding. “That scent, you, is intoxicating, sweetheart.” He said, moving his way back up face to face with you.

Your panties are slipped into his back pocket and you have a feeling you won’t see them again. He used to promise to give them back, but now he doesn’t bother. Where he keeps his collection, you still haven’t able to find them. You are lifted onto the shelf closest to your ass, your legs spread open so you’re openly exposed to him.

“I don’t think I can resist you any longer, sweetheart.” Eddie mutters, and you feel the head of his cock line up with your entrance.

You whimper as he finally makes his way into you, Eddie’s moans sounding like ecstasy in your ears as he revels in the feeling of your heat. “Holy shit, baby. So fucking perfect.”

You hike your legs up to curl around his hips tightly, clutching your thighs onto him. “Eddie, so good.”

Your breath hitches and you can catch it as Eddie’s dick reaches into the far depths of you. “Oh my girl you’re so wet. I told you you would like this, now didn’t I?” And while he sounds cocky you can hear the ragged breathing behind his words.

“I think you wanted it more than I do, Ed.” Voice shaky, but even he had to admit you had a point. For weeks Eddie would think about dragging you into a custodian closet while fucking into his fist, riding off the high of you riding him in a public restaurant, wanted something with a higher chance of getting caught. “I want to bend you over wherever I can.”

“Like your throne?” You ask, knowing since the first time you laid eyes on his dungeon master’s chair you had wanted him to have his way with you on it.

“Abso-fucking-lutely.” Eddie starts pounding into you harder at the very idea of it. “Need you to suck my dick under the table in the middle of a session-” Eddie groans in the middle of the sentence, getting himself off at very idea of it.

“You’re a horny ass mother fucker.” You comment, amused at how frantic he suddenly seemed.

“Can you blame me when I have the most fuckable girlfriend in the world?” Eddie gasps, his voice rough into your neck, and you’re hands clutching onto the fabric of his leather jacket.  

You start to get lost in it, forgetting the idea of anyone finding you when it’s interrupted by three knocks on the door. “Hello? Anyone in there?”

“I told you someone else was gonna have this idea.” Another, higher voice comments.

“Or it’s just locked so no one does it.” The voices are walking away, and you hide your face in Eddie’s neck, embarrassed.

“Fuck me.” You mutter, voice soft and you gasp in surprise when Eddie fucks into you, deeper.

“I already am.” Eddie thrusts continually, reveling in your slack jaw wide open against his jacket, and you’re gasping as he gains speed.

Turns out the interruption was the thing that got you both really going, the speed and the desperation going hand in hand as the feeling in the pit of your stomach starts to heat up. “Eddie keep doing that, please.”

“Yeah, my baby close? Did almost getting caught do it for ya, sweetheart?” He asks, his heart beating out of his chest at the slight interruption. “Shit, me too.”

“I’m so close, daddy. So fucking close. Keep going. Please.” Your hands are grasping at whatever you can hold onto, him, the shelf behind you, the shelf above you to keep your body from wiggling around pathetically. Besides, the two of you didn’t have room for it. “Hmm. Love you, keep going, please baby.”

“Love you so fucking much, you make me feel pathetic, my love.” He practically whines in your ear.

Eddie thrusts a final harsh thrust in you, and you can feel him filling you up. He stops, breathing heavily in your ear as you release your grip on his jacket, realizing you were holding onto him so tight your hand has grown sore in the constant tension. You finally regain your breath, your legs releasing their hold on his slutty little waist.

His pants are pulled up, smirking at you as he buckles them up. You only require moving your purple plaid skirt down your waist to properly cover you, smirking back him. “To prevent uh…leakage…may I have them back?” You ask attempting to slyly move your hand to his left pocket, often disguised by his black bandana.

“Nope. This is my trophy. I earned it.” He says, as if he was proud. “Don’t wipe your cunt, princess, make sure it stays nice and full.” He tells you as you start to awkwardly wipe at the excess.

“I get chocolates, too, right, baby?” You ask, holding his hand as the two of you make your way down the hall.

“Yes, baby. Let’s get you some chocolates after school for taking it like the good cum dumpster you are, my love.” Eddie smiles, and you spend the rest of your free period in the cafeteria.

As Eddie and you sit down to talk, he confesses his evil plan with his current big campaign and it’s just evil enough for you to laugh manically at the prospect of their great villain from the previous campaign making a big return. “Wasn’t he killed by Kas?”

“Sure was. Nothing better than a great comeback and destroying the campaign members.” Eddie smiles, leaning his chin on one hand. “I can’t wait for their reaction; I’ve had this planned for months. The buildup, each campaign at least in the room has been meticulously crafted for this.”

-

Beginning of March rolls around, and Eddie is ominously teasing his big finales repeatedly. Mike grows continuously more excited as his Christmas gift rolls around, going to California to visit Eleven, Will and Johnathan. For the entire week leading up to Spring Break he would excitedly bounce around when Eddie wasn’t there for him to annoy.

Lucas becomes distracted by the basketball, somehow managing to keep his worlds from colliding. He decidedly is done with being in the loser crowd, willing to let comments they make about Hellfire slide for a mere seat at their table. Max slinks to herself, being seen blasting music more often than she is seen talking to any of the group members, you included.

Nancy has been luckily accepted into the school she and Johnathan chose, him only being waitlisted. She finally, at the encouragement of you and Robin managed to ask him if he wanted to visit for spring break, but she didn’t give a clear answer to why he couldn’t make it, he just couldn’t. You had pressed her to talk about it further, Nancy refused to admit there was anything bothering her.

You and Eddie were looking forward to the upcoming spring break, wanting do nothing but lie in bed with him for the final break before things got crazy with workloads gaining more heavy and your acceptance letters about to be sent out.

Robin has seemed to fall even harder for Vickie, having now spent all her days next to her on the bleachers yet barely able to say any words to her. Steve and you had made fun of her together out of love, and Steve is completely convinced after playing Vickie’s return of Fast Times that there’s a chance it could be mutual.

Unfortunately Steve’s dating life has gained even more desperation, barely any dates going past date 1 and he seems to have found a problem with all of them, despite his initial reactions of them being perfect.

Dustin has somehow grown more neurotic over time, and you watch slowly as Eddie gains jealousy in Dustin and Steve’s friendship. Mostly, he just wanted to be included. Did he not adopt Dustin as well? (You were very tempted to tell Dustin Eddie was wriggling in desperation on how close they were.) He and Susie were still going on strong, but tried to sneak around her father’s strict rules.

Finally as the morning of the Friday before break happens, all the teachers are packed in the parking lot leading everyone to the gym. Eddie has the luxury of sleeping in until second period, and a school pep rally to cheer on the basketball team sounded like hell to him. You pull in, barely any room to park, and every student makes their way to the gym.

You weren’t ready to cheer on Jason, but you would support Lucas, as he was doing his best to escape the trenches of bench warming. “Henderson!” You call out to Dustin, having saved a seat for them. “You’re later than normal.”

“Took longer for Susie to crack the code than we thought. Eddie won’t-”

“Eddie? Pep rally? He’ll be here later.” You comment, and Mike squeezes his way in between you, Max right next to him.

“Why are we here again?” Mike asks, sitting as he waits for the band to start playing.

“You’re cheering on a friend.” Dustin reminds him.

Principal Higgins kicks off the prep rally, inviting the cheerleaders to start their routine on the gym floor. All you could think about to get you through was seeing your boyfriend after second period and the break you’re about to have for the next week.

At least, that’s what you thought was about to happen.

Before your world went to shit.

-

TAG LIST: @emturtles @yourthebrokengirl @steeldaisies @skrzydlak @thirddeadlysin @sammararaven @bebe0701

Just a reminder reblogging and commenting any feed back really helps

If you want to be added to my tag list please send a message!

[emupow]

UT/DR NEWSLETTER TIME!!

i woke up a little late so this is probably already common information now, but here are some things i picked up on and noticed!!

queen and rouxls ex lovers?? hello?

think that’s pretty obvious because not only had he forgot what she looks like (referencing being BLOCKED) but it'd also directed at queen. sobbing.

also lancer my unbothered king!! no assumptions from him here!!

his ass is NOT judgemental at all. love him my silly.

noelle’s card having christmas lights is adorable

noelle i love her sm <3 she’s adorable and keeping festive spirit all year round!!

those were most of the one’s i got from the valentines cards!! although i do think the anonymous letter might be reference to alphys? based on the amv mention. bc ik damn well she would be big on amvs. brightened the page up to try and see if the qr code mentioned was up anywhere but no luck :c

okay onto the interview.. not much here but obviously based on concept art clear cowboy/wild west theme which i think coincides with the. cup guy believe it or not.

dont know what it is about this cup but that FEATHER. i’m telling you it reminds me of a saloon. but then again they said concept art had deviated heavily so.. not sure. i am thinking that they gotta play wild west on that tv set or smthn right now. uwa.

i forgot to inspect element and check if the files on the interview page lead to any hints and as im posting this i am on the phone and cannot be bothered to get onto the pc!

also susie and noelle are so cute. really hope we see more development with them in the future!

that’s most of the things i picked up on. i for sure missed LOADS and i only skimmed through the code so idk if i missed any secrets,, so excited chapter 3 and 4 are in our grasp.. (hardly)

update. HOOOW DID I MISS THIS?? WHOOP IS THIS RHIS DOESNY TALK LIKE GASTER

[tiktaalic]

hi! FYI your post about "the noticer" going around made me nervous it might be about Jewish people. a lot of alt right people talk about "noticing the pattern" regarding conspiracy theories about Jewish people and call themselves noticers. normally I'd block and move on for something that read as so on the nose, but looking at your blog i guessed that wasn't your intention with the post. This is currently a hugely growing trend, using language like noticer, so I'd recommend being careful going forward, to ensure people do not think youre a weirdo antisemite. and if it WAS your intention to use that dogwhistle, fuck you

I have 200 asks in my inbox. I’ve gotten 10 asks since you sent your last message, and the ones that I have answered are ones that I happened to see when I checked my phone within a couple minutes of them being sent and could answer in one sentence flat. There wasn’t anything in your message that I felt warranted a response - no future course of action, no request for me to clarify, etc. but if you would like clarification, I was not aware that noticer/pattern were dog whistles, it was not my intention to use them as such, and I’m not an antisemite. If you’re able to skim my blog and tell that an antisemitic dog whistle isn’t in line with my beliefs, then I think it’s fairly obvious that a dog whistle is functioning as a dog whistle, which is to say if you’re attuned to it, you’ll hear it, and if you’re not, then it’s a post you make while looking at ceiling tiles and don’t think about again.

[sophieswundergarten]

Uhhh respectfully with regards to your post complaining about how Susan is said to be bad at school, please be aware that you basically saying that Susan being bad at school = they say Susan is stupid. There are LOTS of reasons why very intelligent people are bad at school. Including but not limited to learning disabilities like dyslexia, neurodivergencies like ADHD, PTSD, etc. It's ableist to equate "bad at school" to "stupid" so please just be aware of that for the future! Thanks so much! I really loved everything in that post of yours except that one thing that made me kind of uncomfortable and I thought you probably didn't know so thought I should let you know.

Thank you for your concern, Anon! I really appreciate how politely you worded this instead of outright yelling at me.

The irony of this situation is that my sibling and I actually have struggled with school over the years due to various neurodivergences/disabilities like dyslexia, dyscalculia, and OCD tendencies. And I am incredibly insecure about this!! Because I am very new to actually being a part of a community where I can talk about this stuff, and I have worked really hard to hide all of those things my whole life.

I almost went in another direction with the post, and suggested different things Susan may have struggled with, because I wholeheartedly believe she was NOT stupid. But my own anxiety took command there.

My initial idea was that the teachers and adults who were observing her from the outside wouldn't have recognized the reasons she was "no good at school". Either because they didn't have the context of what happened in Narnia, because she worked hard at hiding it because she felt the pressure to be a "good girl", or just because in that timeframe people didn't know about as much about learning disabilities!

Because the idea behind that post was about how the people in England/"our world" misunderstood Susan, and how she had to decide between playing the part people expected of her (Which may have included being pretty over smart) and choosing to be herself.

But, as I said, I chickened out and kind of skimmed over the topic. I didn't mean to imply anything, and I'm sorry for how that may have come off.

Thank you for pointing that out to me, because I hadn't realized how my own nervousness about speaking to something I deal with can come off as ableist or insensitive. The line between being honest and objective and sounding like I'm complaining or begging for attention is something I am incredibly wary of, and I don't have a lot of experience with conducting myself correctly around this topic.

Once again, I really appreciate how kindly you mentioned this and explained it to me. I will work to be aware of this and be more careful in the future.

[taegularities]

! Brief trigger: this is not exactly a rant, it’s a story time but a very long one, pls bear with me 🥲 (also my first ask so there’s that)

Been following you for a while now Rid, I’ve mostly read your standalone fics like love me better, begin, silk & stones, stars behind waves & tale of broken hearts. I consider myself as the type who likes gut wrenching angst that ends in happy ending or at least a feeling of hope at the end. These ones like you had promised, were definitely angst heavy (esp the vmin fics). I prefer not to touch long series coz I fear I might lose interest midway thru & might end up thinking I wasted lots of time reading it since it often happens that authors end up adding bunch of filler scenes in between & im one who doesn’t like that.

So for the longest time I actually ignored cmi, until the amc thing came up & the some of the questions relating to the character arcs were def intriguing for me, & I thought ‘why not just give this one a go?’ The word count for cmi looked quite scary😶 so I took inspiration from seven & tried finishing from start till the recent update within seven days (…peak stupidity LoL) & GOD THE ANGST. I couldn’t help but take a blanket over my head to tear down through the rough patches that followed in midway through the fic…literally every scene was so detailed, it almost felt like I was looking at two people I closely knew & felt sorry for to suffer the miseries of being apart because of the conflicts they’d been facing.

Even if I actually succeeded in completing the 200k wc (the fastest & longest record for me) I was able to enjoy the fic. Maybe coz you actually understand the pacing of the slow burn and wrote their arcs so carefully which allowed the reader to slowly unveil their personalities, their flaws, their growth throughout the fic. I kinda skipped the drabbles in between (i did skim through but didn’t actually focus on them alot) coz the goal was to first read through the main storyline then take my time to unwind & re-read the drabbles after. Honestly this work might be my fav one from you, or any Jungkook fic I’ve read in the entirety of this website. Just wanted to say thanks for crafting such a wonderful piece of literature for us, im thrilled to read further what lays in store for jk & oc after they talked through their differences & patched up. And after reading so much pining that went behind in the past 9(?) parts, I’d actually love only fluff and warmth for this couple (me as angst enthusiast saying this✋🙂). And yes, I’m waiting for the cmi drabble (seven mv jk cross over with cmi jk is an unimaginable menace 🫠) and future parts to be posted sooner too! This couple has my heart💛

this was your first ask?! to lil ole me? 😭 omg hope you still see this one!! i wasn't around much when you sent it, then it got buried – but today i remembered it again and wanted to say hi 🥺

first of all, tysm for reading so many of my fics, and such long ones, too!! like, lmb is a huge ass piece, so im really happy you gave it a shot and enjoyed it, too 🥺 and like, same goes for cmi. it's also so lovely to know that people try out stuff on my page that they usually wouldn't – so it melts my heart that you gave cmi a chance and grew to love it as well!! angst, ikr? me too, i could live off of it :') LOL NOT THE SEVEN DAY CHALLENGE. that's actually so amusing and sweet 🤣 i know the word count is crazy and the chapters tend to get very long, but... i know i'm repeating myself, but i'm incredibly thankful that you tuned in. if you ever want, do read through the drabbles, too, since i think they give a deeper glimpse into the characters' flaws and personalities – no pressure tho!!

once again, thank you. it means the world to me to know you loved it so much. like, fav fic? please i'll sob :'') a lot of fluff incoming (but angst too, so fret not), and i truly hope you enjoy the rest as well. drop by anytime, seriously, i'd love to talk about cmi or anything with you whenever you like!! 🥺🤍

[olet-lucernam]

i first started on ff.net in 2012. and while i love ao3 as my home base, and a lot of us will mercilessly mock the height of the ff.net era for the unadulterated Cringe (rightfully so- but then again, we're in fandom, so we're all a little cringe, you are not immune and need to embrace it) one of the biggest things i miss is the community culture we had.

for those who've never been on ff.net: instead of comments- like ao3 or wattpad- it has "reviews". people would write them, post them, and that's it. there is no reply function. so you'd think that would result in lower engagement, less conversation, especially between the writer and reviewers/commenters/readers, right?

nope. instead, we got the infamous author notes.

before each chapter, and often at the end too, the writer would "talk" to their readers- a bit like notes on ao3, but basically built-into the text of the chapter, since there was no such function on ff.net. it would usually be marked with "a/n:" or set in bold/italic to differentiate it from the actual chapter.

and it would often be the writer thanking people for reading, and talking about their personal life updates- but they'd also often give a shout-out to their reviewers. sometimes it was just a quick "thank you to X, Y, and X for reviewing!". but a lot of writers would also answer questions from the reviews, or tease at future updates or sequels, or say whether a review had correctly guessed where a plotline was going.

and sometimes they'd set up challenges- like mentioning there was a hidden detail in the chapter, and challenge the readers to find it and say it in their review. then, in the next chapter update, they'd congratulate whoever got it right. sometimes they'd even offer prizes, like the reviewer getting a character cameo in a future chapter, or the author writing the reviewer a one-shot.

it was fun. it was a conversation. i loved being part of it, both as a writer and a reviewer.

and while i've seen a lot of posts bemoaning the shift in fandom culture to the "consumption mindset", it's always focused on the readers, not the writers.

because we're guilty too!! we are!! i always try to find a way to reply to any comments and feedback, but- i also get a reverse-anxiety when i'm replying to comments. every time before i hit "post", i'm wondering if i'm talking Too Much, or sound weird, or didn't phrase my appreciation well. especially here on tumblr, where i'm less au fait with the culture and constantly terrified i'm about to make a faux pas.

(shoutout to the first time someone asked to be put on my taglist if i'm doing one, and i went sure of course absolutely! and then spent three hours doing panicked research into what the hell is that, how do i do it. instead of, you know, just asking them what that was. i wanted them to think i was cool okay)

and as a writer, i don't do those things that i used to, back in 2012. i don't do those hidden challenges anymore, or put notes before the chapter encouraging people to guess where this is going, and really open engagement up from the moment i post.

it's not because of the switch from platforms- it's a shift in the culture.

if i don't want my readers to default to silence, maybe i have to be the one to break it first.

on one final personal note, i'll put it in writing, for anyone who reads my stuff: whatever your feedback is on my work, i want to hear it. seriously. including and especially criticism! please!! if i have messed up somewhere in my writing, or if there's something not making sense, or something you're not crazy about- i will really sincerely appreciate you telling me! please let me know!!

because- since i wrote it, i genuinely do Not have a good gauge on whether it's actually any good or not. like. my eyes will completely skim over errors. i'll dislike something i wrote and have no idea why, and need an outside opinion to point it out. i'll have the entire plot on my brain and assume i conveyed something important in the chapter, or set a certain tone, but absolutely haven't. and i will not know unless someone tells me.

and okay yes, i might disagree with you on something, or think you're missing the point, or something, but- i will never ever get offended. ever. don't even worry too much about phrasing- because hey, if i'm confused about what you mean, i'll ask, and we can talk!

i will always always always appreciate that you took the time to tell me what you thought.

not to be controversial bc I know this is like…not in line with shifting opinions on fanfic comment culture but if there’s a glaring typo in my work I will NOT be offended by pointing it out. if ao3 fucks up the formatting…I will also not be offended by having this pointed out…

‘looking forward to the next update’ and ‘I hope you update soon!’ are different vibes than a demand, and should be read in good faith because a reader is finding their way to tell you how much they love it. I will not be mad at this.

‘I don’t usually like this ship but this fic made me feel something’ is also incredibly high praise. I’m not going to get mad at this.

even ‘I love this fic but I’m curious about why you made [x] choice’ is just another way a reader is engaging in and putting thought into your work.

I just feel like a lot of authors take any comment that’s not perfectly articulated glowing praise in the exact manner they’re hoping to receive it in bad faith.

fic engagement has been dropping across the board over the last several years, and yes it’s frustrating but it isn’t as though I can’t see how it happens. comment anxiety can be a real thing. the last thing anyone wants to do is offend an author they love, and that means sometimes people default to silence.

idk where I’m going with this I guess aside from saying unless a comment is outright attacking me I’m never going to get mad at it, and I think a lot of authors should feel the same way. ESPECIALLY TYPOS PLZ GOD POINT OUT MY TYPOS.

[westofwonder]

Pull List (09/06/2023)

Birds of Prey #1 Blue Beetle #1 Fantastic Four #11 Fire & Ice: Welcome to Smallville #1 Ghost Rider/Wolverine: Weapons of Vengeance Omega #1 Immortal X-Men #15 Justice Society of America #6 Moon Knight #27 Poison Ivy #14 Shazam #3 Steelworks #4

Birds of Prey - I am excited to see a Birds of Prey ongoing even if it has to deal with the Harley Quinn of it all. Not too enthused she's here, but nobody said this team is permanent; I mean it's a given on how comics are made now but still - doesn't mean permanent. And I thought Zealot originally was going to be a hard sell. I do think Romero is what is going to sell this book, too. And I do think Thompson can deliver, but still a bit anxious on how "funny" characters are gonna come off as being. And if that's my only worry, I think we are in good hands. Full steam ahead!

Blue Beetle - Glance through the issue and I am liking what I am seeing. Jaime being in college makes me feel so old. I liked the movie and I want Blue Beetle things to succeed and be good. I am on board.

Fantastic Four - Need to catch up, but most of it seems solid. When I read multiple issues in the future in one sitting it isn't going to aggravate me like the Sl*tt run

Fire & Ice - I saw someone say something derisive about this comic, but that'll be hard to say until I read it. Gave me a conniption, too. I have little knowledge about these characters other than frequent background appearances and they were on JLI. JLI: a run I think get's overhyped. I can change my mind though. I mean - this run is called Welcome to Smallville - it's not going to break the bank. DC is doing this miniseries to see if there is any interest in characters like Fire & Ice. If it's good - that great. If it's not good - it'll be remembered sparingly. I'm hoping for good.

Ghost Rider/Wolverine - This event did exactly what it needed to do. I would buy and read it again.

Immortal X-Men - SELENE! Like FF, I need to catch up.

JSA - I was listening to a podcast talking about last issue, and certain things were brought up about characterization and plots. I think Johns is just wasting our time, and that's not him just trying to introduce a new (Prime Earth) Helena Wayne. If I remember to, I'll make a separate post about it. I'm always mellow on this series and I don't look forward to it like I want to. I am putting more into trying to like it than I should.

Moon Knight - That cover is so generic and I never comment on how covers are. Ramping up to be the end soon, wonder that'll mean.

Poison Ivy - Skimmed through, thought the Bloom guy was going to be in it. Glad Takara is still sticking around on interiors - gives this book a consistent look.

Shazam - I completely forgot I read issue number two because that was two months ago. Like what's happening here so far. Sanchez on colors is a nice difference from what Bonvillain is doing on World's Finest. They're both good and add to Mora's art. Thumbs up.

Steelworks - Glad Steel and family got the focus. I hope DC keeps pushing him and giving him a spotlight.

Had more to say this week - thought about more than I usually do. I do have more to say about JSA, but then nothing really at all. Would be nice if it was about the JSA and not a way for Johns to introduce a new Huntress. I said this above, but this needs repeating. The dude took forever in a twelve-issue maxiseries.

If I see Detective Chimp I'm going to yell!

Happy readings!