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slickbackdani · 4 years ago

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Batman Movie Villains Ranked from Worst to Best

Recently, a YouTuber I follow by the name of Mr. Rogues released a list of Batman villains ranked from worst to best. I have nothing but the utmost of respect for Mr. Rogues as a content creator, but I took issue with his list because his long-standing biases were often the deciding factor in many of his rankings. So, I decided to do a list of my own.

I’ll be going over every Batman villain to appear in the movies, briefly analyzing their portrayals and ranking them on a scale of 1 to 5. To prevent the list from being too cluttered, I’ll be separating the villains by which movie series they’re part of. Here we go!

Burton/Schumacher Tetralogy

Bane: Perhaps the only villain in this series I’d call “bad.” The calculating tactician of the comics is nowhere to be found here; instead, he’s reduced to a monosyllabic, brain-dead stooge for the other villains. Overall, he does nothing that couldn’t be done by a random henchman. 1/5

Two-Face: A deeply layered villain in the comics, Two-Face sadly gets upstaged by the other major rogue in the movie, but that’s not to say he doesn’t leave an impression. Tommy Lee Jones gives him a manic and mercurial demeanor that, combined with his colorful design, wouldn’t be out of place in the Adam West series. The size and scope of his criminal organization make him a genuine threat, and there’s something darkly fitting about Batman’s former ally being responsible for the creation of Robin. 3/5

Poison Ivy: Mr. Rogues for some reason ranked her as the worst Batman movie villain of all time, and frankly, I don’t see why. Like Tommy Lee Jones as Two-Face, Uma Thurman gives this character a delightfully over-the-top demeanor that combines with a colorful, comic-booky ensemble to make for another great “what-if-this-character-appeared-in-the-Adam-West-series” take. She does a good job juggling the differing facets of Ivy’s character: she’s the put-upon cynic, the craven opportunist, the radical eco-terrorist, and the suave seductress all in one package. 3.5/5

The Penguin: Fuck the Razzies. Danny DeVito made this role his own and set the stage for the character for years to come. He’s a bit of a departure, but a welcome one: far from the refined gentleman of crime Burgess Meredith portrayed, this Penguin is an animalistic thug warped by a lifetime of anger and hatred of the society who rejected him due to his deformities. His signature wardrobe, trick umbrellas, and Penguin gimmick are all there, but DeVito sells the role by showing amazing versatility: he can go from a comical and pitiable weirdo to a terrifying sociopath at the drop of a stovepipe hat. 4/5

Mr. Freeze: I honestly can’t say much about this character that my mutual @wonderfulworldofmichaelford hasn’t already. Arnold Schwarzenegger perfectly encapsulates both popular versions of this character: the flamboyant, pun-loving criminal genius from the Adam West series and the Animated Series’ traumatized scientist desperate to cure his loving wife of her terminal illness. Sure, the puns and hammy one-liners are what this version character is known for, but Ahnold definitely knows when to apply the brakes and give a greatly emotional performance as he tries desperately to cure his wife. 4.5/5

Max Shreck: Probably the only time you’ll see a movie-exclusive character on this list, and deservedly so. Corrupt businessmen are dime-a-dozen in Batman stories, and most of them have little personality outside of being greedy scumbags who either get defeated by the hero or betrayed by the other villains. Shreck, however, is different. Not only does he have an eye-catching fashion sense on par with any of Batman’s famous rogues, but Christopher Walken brings his signature manic intensity to the role, creating a character that’s as wicked and sinister as he is cool and stylish. You totally buy that the general public sees him as the good guy. His warm relationship with his son is also a delight to watch. 4.5/5

Catwoman: Michelle Pfeiffer does a lot to really make the character her own. She gets a lot of genuinely badass moments, but underneath all of her coolness lies the undercurrent that she’s a broken, traumatized character lashing out at the people who abused her and took her for granted. Even when she takes these ideals to unreasonable extremes, you never stop feeling like the retribution she brings on her enemies is at least a little warranted. Also, she has amazing romantic chemistry with Batman and her costume is fucking metal. 5/5

The Ridder: It’s Jim Carrey. 5/5

The Joker: This role is perhaps the one that set the standard for future Jokers to follow: Jack Nicholson’s humorous yet unnerving performance signaled to audiences early on that this would not be the goofy trickster of the Silver Age, but a different beast entirely. This Joker is a film noir gangster on crack: a disfigured mob hitman who quickly takes the entire criminal underworld by storm and unleashes his special brand of chaos and destruction across Gotham. He’s an artist, a showman, a charismatic leader, and the man responsible for ruining Bruce Wayne’s life. 5/5

Christopher Nolan Trilogy

Talia al Ghul: You know that recent trend in Disney movies where a side character we thought was harmless and inconsequential turned out to have been the villain all along in a twist with no buildup or foreshadowing with the reveal happening too late in the movie for this character to really do anything cool or impressive before being unceremoniously defeated? That’s Talia. DKR is the weakest of the three Nolan films, and I feel like it would’ve been much better received without this twist villain contrivedly shoehorned in. Also, while I could kinda forgive the trilogy’s whitewashing of other villains like Ra’s al Ghul and Bane due to the talent their actors display, Marion Cotillard doesn’t get a pass because she just doesn’t have the charisma or screen presence needed to pull it off. 1/5

Victor Zsasz: While the idea of redefining Zsasz as an over enthusiastic mob hitman instead of a serial killer is very interesting, it’s ruined by the fact that he barely even appears in the movie and doesn’t really do or say much of anything despite the buildup he gets. 1.5/5

Two-Face: Aaron Eckhart portrays Harvey Dent as a character of tragedy in a slightly different way than other tragic villains in superhero movies: he’s lashing out at a society he feels wronged him, but instead of being a lifelong outcast or put-upon loser, he was a handsome, successful crusader for the common good who lost everything he once held dear all in one fell swoop. You really feel for him even as he does horrible things. If I had to nitpick, though, I am slightly bothered by the fact that he plays some comic book movie cliches straight (i.e. they never call him by his alias and he dies at the end,) but it’s a solid performance overall. 3/5

Scarecrow: I’ll be upfront and admit that I’m more than a little annoyed that certain facets of the character had been changed in the name of “realism” — once again, they never call him by his villain name and he never wears a comic-accurate costume — but other than that, I can’t complain. Cillian Murphy plays the character with a smarmy, eerie charm that really makes his scenes stand out, his willingness to ally himself with other villains suits his character well, and the fact that he appears in three consecutive films with a different evil scheme in each really helps tie the movies together. 3.5/5

Catwoman: Much like other secondary villains in this trilogy, she really doesn’t get a chance to shine compared to the main antagonist — and, once again, it pisses me off a little that they do the whole “never refer to her as Catwoman but vaguely hint at it” thing — but she’s everything a modern Catwoman should be. She’s sly, manipulative, really holds her own in a fight, has great chemistry with Bruce Wayne... it’s all there. It’s also great to see Anne Hathaway break away from her usual type casting to play a role this dynamic. 4/5

Ra’s al Ghul: He’s a character that was in desperate need of mainstream exposure, and by God that’s what he got. Making him Bruce Wayne’s mentor adds a layer of personal tragedy to the climax where our hero has to stop the man who made him who he is from destroying Gotham with his admittedly brilliant plan. Add in a strong, captivating performance from Liam Neeson before we found out he was a racist asshole, and we’ve got one hell of an overarching villain. 4.5/5

The Joker: Everybody’s already discussed this version of the character to hell and back and likely will for years to come, so I’ll keep it very brief. He’s funny, he’s badass, he’s terrifying, he has great dialogue, it sucks that Heath Ledger didn’t live to see his performance reach the audience it got, and he basically makes the entire film. 5/5

Bane: Mr. Rogues actually ranked Bane higher than Joker on his list, and keeping it 100, I actually agree with him here. Finally, after decades of being dumbed down and misrepresented outside of comics, Bane is finally portrayed as the tactical genius from the comics. Tom Hardy plays Bane to perfection, being very believable as the peak of human physical and mental achievement, the man who broke Batman physically and emotionally. His design is iconic, his every line is quotable, his voice is weirdly fitting, and the memes are funny. 5/5

DC Extended Universe

KGBeast: Another point where I agree wholeheartedly with Mr. Rogues. He is absolutely wasted in BVS, being nothing but a generic henchman for Lex Luthor. He doesn’t wear his costume from the comics, he’s never referred to by his alias, he doesn’t have his signature cybernetic enhancements, and he never does or says anything noteworthy. 1/5

The Joker: Ugh. I don’t know what’s worst: the tacky clothes, the stupid tattoos, the weird Richard Nixon impression that passes as his voice, the fact that promotional material hyped him up as a “beautiful tragedy” of a character even though he’s only in the movie for like 10 minutes and barely does anything, Jared Leto’s toxic edgelord behavior on set done with the flimsy pretense of “getting into character,” or the fact that he’s just trying to copy Heath Ledger instead of making the role his own. 1/5

Victor Zsasz: Chris Messina proves undoubtedly that Zsasz CAN work as a secondary villain in a Batman movie. He’s once again a mob assassin who enjoys his job a little too much, but unlike Batman Begins, he really gets time to shine. He’s just as sadistic and depraved as in the comics, but he also has this disarming, casual demeanor about him like he’s just indulging a hobby instead of slicing innocent people’s faces off. His close friendship with his boss Black Mask adds some depth to the character as well. 3/5

Killer Croc: Sadly, he doesn’t get much time in the spotlight, but he’s pretty cool nonetheless. The makeup and prosthetics used to create him look amazing, and Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje’s deep voice and imposing body language make him really stand out as an intimidating presence. He’s often in the background, which fits his role as an outcast by choice and a man of few words, but whenever he does get focus, he has everyone’s attention. It really would be a shame if this character’s only appearance was in a mediocre schlock action movie, but he makes the most of what he has. 3.5/5

Deadshot: Another highlight of what would otherwise be a forgettable film, Deadshot is just as cool and competent as he’s always been in other media, but this portrayal stands out for one simple reason. Will Smith was a very odd choice to play the role, but it worked out for the best here because you get the sense he truly understands the characters. He’s ruthless and pragmatic, but has just as enough charm and depth to make him likable. 4/5

Black Mask: I, like many, was skeptical when I saw early trailers depicting Roman Sionis as a foppish weirdo who doesn’t wear his signature mask, but upon seeing the final movie, I really feel like he has the high ground over other DCEU villains. Ewan McGregor is endlessly captivating in the role, portraying him as a swaggering dandy who is nevertheless dangerous due to his boundless narcissism and explosive temper. Sure, those who deal in absolutes would be put off from the differences with his comic counterpart — who is far more cold and humorless — but from a certain point of view, this flamboyant take on the character isn’t so much a departure as it is an addition to make him stand out while keeping his role the same. Black Mask has always been a middleman between the traditional mobsters of yesteryear and the colorful rogues that plague Gotham today, and this portrayal perfectly encapsulates that. He works in the shadows, but isn’t afraid to get his hands dirty; he flies off the handle and gets reckless at times, but there’s no question that the whole operation was his idea. 5/5

Harley Quinn: Margot Robbie owns this role. She’s unbelievably dazzling as a badass, funny, sexy antihero who deals greatly with tragedy and proves that there’s always been more to her than her initial role as the Joker’s sidekick. Again, not much to say, but she’s almost perfect. 5/5

#dc villains #batman #batman villains #dark knight #dc extended universe #batman movie

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birdybat · 4 years ago

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Batfam hunger games pt1

Please note that this is my idea and I may wish to use this in the future. If you want to write about it let me know first in case you write about it and I write about it and it will cause confusion thx.

Basically, Ra’s al Ghul is the president and his daughter is Talia.

Bruce Wayne leads the resistance but his cover is a rich billionaire that lives in the capital but used to be part of District 1. His family was from District 1 and they amassed lots of money by creating Wayne Enterprises that has various subdivisions like: Wayne Diamonds, Wayne Fur, Wayne jewellery, Wayne Gold and Wayne Metal (District 1 is known for luxury items). His parents were killed in front of him when they tried to rebel against the hunger games and Bruce was orphaned. Bruce was picked for the 49th hunger games and won. He moved to the capital swearing vengeance. Talia ends up falling in love with him and Ra’s approves. He acts like a billionaire playboy in the day and becomes a rebel at night. He helps the people in the poorer district by donating money and steals information for the Rebels.

Talia is the daughter of Ra’s and was love in love with Bruce. She runs her own company away from her father but is a loyal supporter. Talia is a fashion icon among the people of the capitol. She raised Damian away from Bruce with her fathers help to be a loyal citizen and to become Panem’s future leader.

Dick Grayson’s parents were aquatic performers from District 4 (Fishing). His parents drowned to death in a performance in the capitol in a suspected rigged trap that was set by a rich man from the capitol whom they refused to perform for. Bruce was at the performance and sponsored him and mentored him in the 59th Hunger games. He was twelve at the time. He adopted him after he won his hunger games and is helping out with the rebellion.

Jason Todd is from District 12 and was picked for the 65th hunger games when he was 14. He tried to steal from Bruce before he went into the games and they chatted for a long time creating a bond. Bruce promised him that he would protect him. Bruce tried his best to support him but he was assumed dead until they took his “corpse” out the arena. They later found out that he had eaten a plant that caused him to appear dead. Bruce took him in after and became his legal guardian.

Tim Drake was a natural genius. He came from District 3 that specialised in technology and electronics. Tim won the 68th hunger games at 15 by hacking into the others tracking devises and frying them. After that the capitol recognised his genius and Ra’s wanted him to work with Panem but with the help of Bruce and some convincing, Tim went to live with Bruce and started being the rebels hacker. Janet and Jack Drake initially rejected the idea that another man was raising their kid but soon came to accept that this was the best for him.

#robin #batman #bruce wayne #damian wayne #batfamily #talia al ghul #dick grayson #nightwing #red hood #red robin #tim drake #jason todd #hunger games #fanfic

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scarletlunarosa · 1 year ago

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Talia "The Fashion Icon" Al Ghul

#bfkcarts #talia al ghul #batman #dc comics

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damian-lil-babybat · 5 years ago

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The myths and the legends.

What rises after the death of the maidens? More bloodshed, and this time, the daughter shall finally inherit the promised land. But what would happen when Talia realized that there is more to having the new title of the Demon Head? A secret Ra's has kept, even to the point of delaying the passing of the mantle with all means necessary.

And yet the inevitable happened, and now Talia must face the challenges, no matter the cost. Because when the old gods challenges the right to the Lazarus Pit; when failure meant, all of those lives the Lazarus has extended shall be cut, including every single person she ever loved; Talia al Ghul would stop at nothing to prevent that from ever happening even if it meant she has to personally kill a god, or two, to do so. The rest?

Those can be delegated to her new "friends". Afterall, she can't hoard all the fun now, can she?

Here's a redesign for the Dragon Maidens AU, because of course Talia, the fashion icon, would not allow her team not to look the part.

#talia al ghul #shado #cheshire #lady shiva #jade nguyen #samdra wusan #fanart #dc comics #dragon maidens!au

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makotokyoqoku-archived · 5 years ago

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harvey dent 🙏 talia al ghul

having shitty parents; betrayed by their loved ones (gilda & jim, and nyssa, respectively); very complex as characters in their own rights, way more than dc knows what to do with; love(d) bruce wayne so much; bi legends; fashion icons.

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hussyknee · 7 years ago

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Me introducing the Batfamily: "This is Dickie - Robin the first, later Nightwing, Renegade, Nightwing, Agent 37??, Nightwing. My golden child, heart of the DC universe. Poster child for Eldest Daughter Syndrome, after an adolescence spent trying to live up to the exacting expectations of an emotionally constipated parental figure while being made responsible for both his emotional health and safety and the rest of the world's. Veers between an indefatigable sense of humour buoyed by terrible puns and high functioning depression. He is the big brother everyone idolizes, a hypercompetent and responsible human being who looks out for everyone except himself, a perfect balance of Superman's light and hope and Batman's dark brooding (the scales keep tipping this way and that tbh). The Batfamily's Golden Boy's career has been marred only by his dire sense of fashion throughout his young adulthood (currently rocking the sexiest superhero outfit will never erase the scars of green panties and the discowing mullet), emotional impermanence in his relationships, grossly overestimating his own capacity to do everything at once, and attempting to live on cereal, as well as every so often absolutely blowing his lid and fulfilling his asshole quota all at once wtf Dickie. The best acrobat in the world, he is uniquely characterized by his on-and-off relationship with gravity and assorted redheads, everyone and their mother being compelled to remark on how pretty he is even in a mask, and being the owner of the Damn Fine, the world's finest posterior (they took a poll).

"This is Jason Todd - Robin II, later Red Hood. A brick shithouse of stabby shooty snark that rattles the fourth wall, he is a proponent of murder and blowing shit up in the name of social justice. Both his morals and aesthetic combines utilitarianism with being a melodramatic asshole (distinctive red full face helmet with a domino mask underneath, combat boots, leather jacket of manpain). Has a gun fetish due to his unhealthy obsession with making Batman eat every last bit of dick, but is also pro-gun control (he controls all the guns).

Driven away from his sidekick career at the age of fifteen by Bruce's paranoia that he may have killed repeat offender rapist, he was then betrayed by his birth mother to the Joker who beat him with a crowbar and blew him up. Later was resurrected via cosmic hissy fit but had to dig his way out of his own grave and wandered the streets brain-damaged until Talia Al Ghul found him and dunked him in the Lazarus pit, which healed his faculties but left him with a case of PTSD from hell. Came back to Gotham to try and get his Bat-Dad to avenge him via reverse Hamlet scheme featuring a (now iconic) bag of decapitated mobster heads, but no dice. The 2011 reboot of the DC universe downgraded his reaction to this from "homicidal" to "salty".

He used to be a mop-headed little gremlin but Talia presumably fed him some Lazarus GMO beef along with mad assassin skills because he was a bruiser almost taller than Bruce by the time he returned to Gotham. He's also the only reason why the whole fandom knows what a piebald streak is (trauma, but make it fashion) and his thunder thighs are legend. Fandom headcanons him as the world's angriest self-taught student of feminist and classical literature who will as likely kneecap you for maligning Jane Austen as for selling drugs to children.

(We reject the spurious allegations by Daniel, Morrison et al that he is remotely capable of child murder or wearing a dildo helmet. He is guilty of many things but not being cringe. Mfer rocked a pimp cane with combat boots, for Christ's sake, why would he shoot kids or wear a suppository on his head.)

"This is the Timmy bird, Robin the third, later Red Robin (not the fast food chain). He used to be the world's most well-adjusted latch-key kid, if you discount his stalking tendencies, but then his Mom died, his Dad died, his best boyfriends both died, his stepmom died, his city got nuked, his big brother nearly died, his sister "went crazy" and his adoptive Dad also (ostensibly) died. This happened nearly all within his sixteenth year of life, which gave rise to the meme "Tim Drake - Even His Houseplants Die". And then his own adored big brother fired him from being his sidekick in an epic dick move (pun intended for his crimes). He went from an adorable sunshiny kid who made friends with everyone to a brooding and manipulative asshole (affectionate), in the mold of Batman but with more dead parents.

Timmy is basically the love child of a competence kink and a Bishounen. His fashion sense veers between hobo I.T guy and sharp enough to kill you (except for that whole Doctor Mid-Nite phase. It was a dark time). The techie of the bunch, his investigative skills rival those of Batman's and served as the youngest CEO of Wayne Tech for a spell without graduating high school. Functions as some kind of caffeine vampire, hasn't slept in years, humanity too dependent on him to plan for every exigency. Has probably written a computer programme to remind him how to human. Very close to his sister Cassandra and his big brother Dick, whom he idolizes, has a distrustful relationship with Jason whom he occasionally allies with, and a legendary rivalry with Damian, who might be a prepubescent but also a hundred pounds of laser-focused murder grudge in a ten pound bag. The only one of Bruce's adopted children to take his name (which again made no sense but Tim Drake-Wayne is a GQ motherfucker so fandom eventually rolled with it) Life challenges include subtextually being in love with his best friend Superboy while DC editorial desperately tries to make him straight, and fending off Ra's Al Ghul's creepy second-hand sexual fixation on him. Or on his genetic material. Who knows with that guy.

"This is Cassandra Cain, the third Batgirl and later Black Bat. Originator of the meme "looks like a cinnamon roll, is actually a cinnamon roll but will also kill you" except not because she has a no-kill rule more iron-clad than Batman's. Child of two of the DCU's most fucked up assassins, Cass was an experimental human murder weapon and not taught to speak but rather "read" body language. Ran away from her asshole Dad after her first and only kill at the age of eight traumatized the shit out of her. Wandered the world for years being a lethal cutie until she was taken under the wing of Barbara Gordon a.k.a Oracle. She had very limited ability to communicate with the world until a metahuman rearranged her neuroplasty to make her understand words, and accidentally precipitated a cascade of complications including baby's second existential crisis.

She is like a daughter and little sister to Babs so it made little sense as to why Bruce was the one to adopt her, but she won his love and trust by proving it's his mission she idolizes and more than anything. She's arguably Bruce's favourite, being the only child who does not expect him to do any emotional labour other than emitting his brand of stoic, non-verbal Bat approval. Bruce is fiercely protective of her in turn, even though she can kick his ass and everyone else's if she wants to. She'd be objectively terrifying if she wasn't possibly the most compassionate of them all, and also generally a cheeky, cocky little shit. Best friends include adoptive brother Tim Drake and Stephanie Brown.

(Yes, most of the tropes associated with Cass are kinda racist, considering she's half Asian.)

"My golden daughter Stephanie Brown, The Spoiler, Robin IV and Batgirl IV (note to nerds: Helena Bertinelli was Batgirl III during No Man's Land). Started her career by hitting Tim Drake with a brick and becoming his most convincing heterosexual love interest to date. Joined the superhero game just to get revenge her abusive C List supervillain father, Cluemaster, and stayed in the game first because Batman kept telling her to get lost and then later because she loved kicking ass in a homemade spandex outfit (it's EGGPLANT motherfucker).

This spunky little blonde weathered an abusive father, her mother's drug addiction, childhood emotional neglect, poverty, a teenage pregnancy, Tim Drake constantly flaking out on her, Batman using her as a pawn to get Tim back by making her Robin, being fired by Batman, accidentally starting a gang war in a bid to "prove" herself to Batman, almost dying after hours of grossly sexualized torture with a power drill, having her doctor fake her passing to keep her out of Batman's clutches (DR. LESLIE DEFENCE SQUAD FOREVER), and having writer Bill Willingham insist she was "never really Robin". She is the personification of hope and humour and sheer dogged perversity in a world that wanted her gone. Came back from the dead to bitchslap both her ex and Batman and became Batgirl under Oracle's watchful and responsible mentorship.

Other notable relationships include Cass Cain her girlfriend best friend with whom she bonded over asshole Dads ("my Dad locked me in a closet when I was bad. What did your Dad do?" "Shot me." "LMAO I can't beat you at anything") and Damian Wayne, who calls her Fatgirl because he is ten and doesn't know how to deal with his crush. Other than Babs, she is possibly the only member in this fucked up family with a sense of perspective.

"This is my little murder kitten Damian, Robin V. The fact that he shares a name with the Anti-Christ was no accident because he was introduced as such. Bruce Wayne and Talia Al Ghul's only biological issue via test tube (we refuse to acknowledge his rapey Grant Morrison origins), the kid was Ra's eugenics wet dream designed as a vessel into which he could transfer his own consciousness in order to escape the dereliction of his own body. Talia decided to fuck that noise and sent the child to live with his Dad, whereupon he immediately tried to kill everybody else to claim his birthright because that's how ninja assassin cults and the Ottoman empire roll.

When Bruce temporarily died and Dick temporarily assumed the Bat mantle he was also landed with a tiny ninja assassin brother with the social skills of a wet cat. So Dick gave him the Robin job (kind of throwing his other brother under the bus) and after a rocky start, made great headway in making the child behave in some approximation of a human being.

Damian is adorably territorial of his big brother but absolutely hates Tim, apparently just on priciple. Dami dresses and behaves like the snotty little princeling he was raised as, and talks like a judgemental Cambridge dictionary, but is really a lonely child at heart who relates to animals better than humans. He has since collected a small menagerie which includes a rooster, Bat-Cow, Alfred the cat, Titus the Great Dane and the enormous mythical beast Goliath who he saved when he was a cub that looked like a small Pokémon. Also made friends with a disabled street child named Colin Wilkes, a very Catholic cinnamon roll superhero fanboy who hulks out into a behemoth hero named Abuse. Other notable friendships include Stephanie Brown and Jon Kent.

"This is Barbara Gordon. She is the only Batkid to have graduated completely out of Bruce's sidekick programme and subsequently his bullshit. The first Batgirl is closest to Bruce in age and the beloved daughter of Batman's best friend, Commissioner Jim Gordon, she is more like a sister than a daughter to him. Barbara donned the Batgirl costume herself when she was seventeen after being turned down by the police academy for Reasons, and impressed Batman into mentoring her. She and Dick had a long running partnership and flirtation (her being much older than him) that very eventually matured into a romance in adulthood (that ended up such an unqualified storytelling clusterfuck that DC editorial swept the whole thing under the Rug Of Subtext until the reboot).

She had already decided to retire as Batgirl when the Joker shot her through the spine, paralyzing her for life. After a period of depression, she overcame this limitation with the help of a high-tech wheelchair, martial arts tutelage with Richard Dragon that accomodated her disability and using her formidable intelligence to become Oracle, the communications mainframe of the JLA and international information broker (don't touch her wheelchair, bitch). She recruited Dinah Lance the Black Canary to found the Birds of Prey and later a whole slew of other lady superheroes, although it was Dinah who became her best friend (and soulmate).

Despite being a manipulative mastermind, her ruthless pragmatism and dark past, she avoids falling into the self-obsession and darkness that claims Bruce and his boys by leaning on her emotional support network, not having time for male nonsense and general dedication to acting like a human being.

"Alfred Pennyworth is effectively Bruce's father and grandfather to the batchildren although he is rarely directly acknowledged as such because idk classism and Bruce's manpain. He is the stereotypical stoic butler who improbably gained custody of his employer's young son and enabled his unhealthy obsession with his parents murder because he was trapped between being a guardian and technically being on his charge's payroll (idk how any of this works, why didn't they just keep Uncle Phillip). He apparently used to work in Her Majesty's Secret Service, MI6 and Shakespearean theater before coming to America to become a butler, of all things. This worked to his advantage when Bruce decided to take up vigilanteism and also adopt a small army of children who would follow his footsteps into a highly dangerous lifestyle.

To his credit, he wanted more for his kids than beating up goons every night but he is only the butler and no one listens to him despite getting knocked out every time a supervillain breaks into the Batcave. He is a fan favourite and seen as the "Mom" of the batfamily but I have always had reservations about him because YOU COULD HAVE MADE THIS KID GO TO THERAPY BEFORE HE BECAME FIXATED ON BATS ALFRED. BUT YOU DID NOT. WHY.

"And finally we have Bruce Wayne, who everyone already knows about, having had 8372 movies made about him by now. He's that bad boy I fell in love with when I was young and easily impressed by broody broken men before realizing he was kind of an asshole but then falling in love with his kids too much to ever leave. Bruce is at both his best and his worst when he is called to be a father to his children, perpetually torn between his love for them, his obsession with his mission and his own issues about supplanting their own biological parents.

"Does that answer your question?"

Fast food cashier: *eyes glazed* "So...you do want fries with that?"

#mostly pre 52 #i dont know much about duke thomas or harper row #didn't really follow new 52 or rebirth #and yes i cherry picked canon #i will not acknowledge bad writing #batman #batfamily #batkids #nightwing #robin #red robin #batgirl #oracle #red hood #black bat

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