#taking the bus bc i like the bus and i cant drive

[notquitehuman-creations]

going out by myself tomorrow wish me luck 👍

[liuisi]

i think everything and everyone is conspiring to keep me from trying to stop being a hermit

[kicksnscribs]

Wow...

[krispiecake]

i think every bus should be running every 5 minutes what do you mean my 40 min journey is taking me 2hrs. what do you mean. i hope the government starts adequately funding public transport and accommodating school rushes or i hope they kill themselves.

[vantacrew]

uuuuuuuu y si me arrancaba mi arteria carotida......... pero ntp soy normal 😇😇

[freesomebodybyluna]

Went to go see barbie with a coworker today, which was suuuper good btw and after we went to get froyo, which was so nice bc we talked for like 2 hrs until going home hehe I love making friends!!

[wintersoldeer]

everyone else gets: ...bells?

i get: my dashboard not working at all anymore (just an empty white page)

[agaypanic]

His Good Girl (Carlisle Cullen X Vampire!Wife!Reader Smut)

Kinktober Masterlist | Main Masterlist | Request Something! | AO3

Kinktober Day 3: Praise Kink

Summary: For your one hundredth wedding anniversary, Carlisle takes you to a cabin in the mountains away from your children and the prying eyes of Forks citizens. The days are beautiful, but the nights are far more pleasurable.

A/N: ignore that im posting day 3 on the 23rd…. Im so behind omfg ANYWAYS i know vampires technically cant get hard or probably cum or wtv bc they don’t have bloodflow but this is a kinktober fic so idgaf. i know a thousand years is in twilight soundtrack, but i like the song and think it fits so pretend it/christina perri exists in this universe. Tbh this feels more like a real fic than a kinktober fic (not saying kinktober fics aren’t real fics. I just feel like kinktober stuff really focuses on the sex/kink and i feel like this is more of a fluff that ends in smut)

C/W: oral (fem!receiving), fingering, unprotected p in v sex (they're vampires so they cant get pregnant or diseases but wrap it before you tap it), praise kink, body worship, rough sex

***

“Carlisle, dear, I can pack my own suitcase.” But you did nothing to stop him from meticulously folding your clothes and putting them in your bag. Instead, you sat on the edge of the bed and watched him work. 

Your husband looked up, a smile appearing on his lips. “And yet, you sit and watch me pack it for you.”

“What can I say?” You said with a shrug. “I like watching your skilled hands be put to work.”

“Oh really?” Carlisle seemed to suddenly forget the task he was previously so focused on. He walked over to you, letting the cold hands you loved so much cup your face gently. “Just wait for this weekend. Then you’ll really see how skillful they are.”

You giggle, pulling at his waist and leaning up to kiss him. “I can’t wait.”

It wasn’t long before you were finished loading up the car and ready to leave. Carlisle had to practically drag you away when your goodbyes with the kids went on a little too long. But you couldn’t help it. Not only did you love your children dearly, but you needed to give them all (mainly Emmett and Edward) to behave while you and Carlisle were gone. Although they were tremendously older than their young adult bodies, they sometimes acted just as recklessly as teenagers. 

The drive to the cabin was long and peaceful. Carlisle let you handle the music, and although he kept his eyes on the road, he smiled at the sight of you passionately singing along with every song out of the corner of his eyes. 

You arrived in the afternoon, and your husband insisted on carrying your bags inside for you, allowing you to wander around the cabin you came to for special occasions. It followed a less modern aesthetic, mainly because getting a good internet connection so far from civilization was a little difficult. It reminded you of when you were first married to Carlisle.

“Why don’t you pick out a record?” Carlisle said from the bedroom, raising his voice a little so you could hear him down the hall, despite your enhanced hearing. 

You walked over to the small shelf that was filled to the brim with different genres and eras of music. You opted for something more modern, so you pulled out a Christina Perri vinyl and put it on the player.

The first track was one that you knew all too well, and it seemed Carlisle remembered it just as well when it hit his ears. Deciding that unpacking could wait, he left the bedroom and approached you. When he got close enough to grab you, he started leading you in a slow dance around the living room. And when Christina sang about loving someone for a thousand years, Carlisle kissed you deeply before making a comment about how he couldn’t wait for the thousand-year mark.

***

When your anniversary came the next day, you and Carlisle didn’t do much. Besides being slightly more affectionate than usual and exchanging presents, it seemed like a normal day for you two. But you cherished it like any other day you spent with your husband. 

The only time Carlisle strayed from you today was to go outside and hunt for dinner. He came back in record time with two wine glasses filled with red liquid and a few smudges around his mouth that he let you kiss off. Ushering you to the couch in front of the lit fireplace, he handed you a glass and used his now free hand to hold you close to him.

“To you, my dear.” Carlisle toasted, holding his glass up to you.

“And to you, darling.” You added, clinking his cup with your own. “To a hundred years.”

“And a hundred more.”

Hours had passed without you knowing. You were too wrapped up in Carlisle’s presence, the way he stroked your arm while he listened to you talk about whatever came to your mind. 

Eventually, your glasses were empty, and Carlisle set them on the small table in front of you before cuddling you again. You leaned into his touch, breathing his scent in. “I love your hands.” You muttered against his neck. The hands in question were either holding yours or gently massaging you.

“Oh, yeah?” He smiled, and you nodded. “You wanna see what else they can do?”

It felt like a switch had flipped, and suddenly, you were straddling your husband and kissing him like you’d been starved for a hundred years. He kissed back with the same sentiment, hands roaming and groping your body.

Carlisle broke away the slightest bit to speak. “As much as I’d love to take you right here, why don’t we move to the bedroom?” Without waiting for a response, he stood up, carrying you down the hall like it was nothing. You clung to him, kissing and lightly nipping at his neck.

When he reached the bedroom, Carlisle softly set you on the bed and started kissing you again. He towered over you, caging you in with his limbs.

But kissing, although very enjoyable, wasn’t enough for him. His hands started to roam again, and he began to play with the hem of your shirt. “May I?” He asked against your lips, and you nodded furiously. Carlisle peeled the shirt off of your body, and your bra was off soon after.

Without warning, he broke away from you. You were about to protest when his mouth latched onto your nipple, flicking it with his tongue. You moaned at the sensation, running a hand through his once pristine hair. He made sure to give the same treatment to the other.

“So beautiful.” He muttered, squeezing your tits with his hands and running his cold thumbs over your now stiff nipples. You mewled and arched your back. God, the things this man did to you. “So perfect.”

“Carlisle.” You whined. You couldn’t take anymore waiting, you needed him now. In desperation, you started moving your hips to try and rut against his thigh. He allowed it, giving attention to your breasts a little while longer while you used him to ease your need. But his thigh wasn’t enough. “Carlisle, come on.”

He looked up at you with a caring but mischievous look. “What’s the magic word?”

“Carlisle!”

“Nope.” The man smirked, slowly trailing kisses down your stomach and stopping at the waistband of your pants. “Come on, dear. Where are your manners?”

“Please!” You cried out.

Carlisle swiftly started to unbutton your pants, tugging them down your legs. “There’s my good girl.” The little nickname just made you even wetter. Carlisle took off your panties, leaving you entirely bare for him. He stared down at you, taking in the image. He sighed, seemingly lost in thought. “You’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen.”

Ready to ravage you, Carlisle started to crawl on the bed towards you. But before he could get to the place he wanted most, you put your foot on his chest to stop him. A hand shot up to caress your ankle, and Carlisle started to worry that he was moving too fast for you without realizing it.

“Maybe you should take your clothes off too?” You suggested, giggling at his sigh of relief. Carlisle dropped your foot and stood up again, stripping in front of you. He did so as fast as possible without using superspeed, knowing you were desperate for him but would still enjoy the show.

“Better?”

“Better.”

You sat up, his stiff cock now at your eyeline. You reached out, wanting to grasp it, suck it, whatever he would let you do.

But Carlisle grabbed your wrist. “Now, what do you think you’re doing?” He asked, tone light enough to indicate that he wasn’t upset or serious.

“I want you to enjoy yourself.” You answer with a shrug. “It’s your anniversary too, you know.”

“You want me to enjoy myself?” He asked, gently pushing you until you were lying on your back. You nodded. “Then be a good girl and spread your legs.”

A tingle went down your spine at the command, and you immediately did as told. Carlisle grasped your ankles to keep your legs separated. He stared at your pussy, mouth watering at the thought of tasting you. He inched closer to you, hands running up your legs.

He didn’t waste another second. Carlisle pushed at your thighs to bring them to your chest and dove into your pussy, licking a broad strip through your slit before latching onto your clit. He groaned at the taste of you, sending chilling vibrations through your body. One of his hands splayed out at the back of your knees to keep your legs up, and he used his now free hand to prod at your entrance.

“You’re so wet, honey.” He cooed as he slipped a finger in, soon adding another. Carlisle began fucking you slowly, hooking his fingers on your g-spot and flicking at your clit with his tongue.

“More.” You moaned, squeezing his fingers. “Want your cock, Carlisle.”

Your husband tsked, taking his mouth off of you but continuing his ministrations. “Not til you come on my fingers, Y/n. You know the rules. I don’t want to hurt you.”

You whined, wanting nothing more than to be stretched and filled to the brim by your husband’s cock. But it warmed your cold heart that he was still cautious with you. 

“Then make me come.” You begged.

Carlisle took it as a personal challenge to make you finish as quickly as possible. He usually liked to take his time with you, but you were desperate. So Carlisle quickened his pace, added a third finger, flicked and sucked at your clit, and soon enough you were falling apart. You stiffened and let out a choked moan as Carlisle helped you ride out your high.

While catching your breath, Carlisle withdrew his fingers from you and cleaned your juices off with his tongue. The sound that came from him was almost animalistic. He looked at you as if you were his prey. “You’re so delicious.” He said, licking the remnants of your cum off of his hand. The way he was looking down on you made you even wetter.

Usually, Carlisle liked to start nice and slow, giving you time to adjust to his size before he began ramming into you. But tonight, he couldn’t control himself. He grabbed himself, swiping the tip of his penis through your slick folds to collect more of your juices before prodding your entrance and bottoming out in one swift motion. 

Then he started fucking you.

You were beyond grateful that you were staying in a cabin in the middle of the mountains because if someone were around, they would’ve thought you were being murdered. The headboard banged against the wall with the force Carlisle was using to fuck you. He held onto the backs of your knees, keeping your legs pinned to your chest and giving you shocks of pleasure with every hard thrust.

It was all too much, but in the best way. Carlisle fucking you roughly at an angle that you knew would make it difficult to walk for a while, despite you usually being able to recover from rough sex quickly. With the way Carlisle was acting right now, his panting and almost growling sounds, and his nails digging into your skin, you knew he wouldn’t be satisfied after one round.

“So good.” Carlisle groaned, leaning down to kiss at your neck. You pulled at Carlisle’s hair to try and ground yourself, but you were too far gone with the overwhelming pleasure. “Are you gonna come?”

“Uh-huh.” It came out as a high-pitched squeal, and Carlisle smiled.

“You can do it, honey.” While speaking, he snaked a hand down to rub at your clit, pace as rough and furious as his thrusts. “Want you to come. Be a good girl for me; go ahead.” 

It was like Carlisle had some kind of control over your body. As soon as the words left his mouth, you found your release. It was one of the most intense orgasms you had ever had. You were a bit surprised that you didn’t accidentally pull out Carlisle’s hair from how hard you were gripping the strands.

Carlisle continued fucking you at his rough pace, making you shake and cry out in pleasure. He didn’t stop, seemingly very focused on now reaching his own peak. The way your cunt gripped his cock certainly helped, and not long after you, he was shooting ropes of cum inside you, keeping up his thrusts to fuck it into you.

When he came down from his high, his movements slowed to a stop. He delicately moved your legs off your chest to lay on the bed, massaging any possible sore spots he may have given you.

“Was I too rough?” He asked, seemingly in a clearer headspace now.

You shook your head, reaching up to caress his face. “I liked it.” Carlisle sighed in relief, leaning down to kiss you. “Maybe we can do it again? Like, now?”

He laughed at your eagerness. “How about in five minutes?” He wrapped you up in his arms before flipping you over so you were lying on his chest. His cock was still hard inside you, filling you nicely. “I want to lay with my wife for a while.”

“I won’t argue with that.” You said, snuggling into Carlisle’s bare chest. “Happy anniversary, Carlisle.”

“Happy anniversary, Y/n.”

***

Twilight Taglist: @wedfan2 @natashamaximoff-69 @pink-hufflepuff

[stupid-raccoon]

Mkulia headcannons

• MK has forced Julia to play every single FNaF game known to man, official and fanmade, and watch the movie

• They sit in the parking lot at Walmart and people watch

• MK is an age regressor(2-4) and Julia is her CG 100000%

• While regressed, MK usually either wanders off, or stays in the same room as her at all times, no in between but she isnt too hyper usually, just walking off while Julia isnt looking

• For Julias birthday, MK thinks its the funniest thing in the world to take her to a restraunt and get all the waiters to sing happy birthday to her and make a scene

• Parents have yelled at them for laughing their asses off whenever a kid faceplants or runs into something and falls

• They ironically read bakudeku omegaverse and have never once taken it seriously, whenever theyre in an argument MK will quote one of them while laughing and Julia will drop the whole argument and leave the room

• MK has a concerning amount of yippee creatures in their room

• Just like how MK would quote the omegaverse, Julia would say Mary Kate in every sentence to piss her off

• Mk has binge watched Bluey and made Julia watch it with her while regressed, Julia tolerates it to an extent

• Mk thrives off of redbull, Julia has made a set time of when Mk gets cut off and how many shes allowed to drink per day since Mk has gotten up at 3AM to get her 9th redbull of the night

• They were both gacha kids and have shown each other their gacha yt channel they had when they were like 8 that somehow got over 300k subs

•Also I feel like Mk is asexual, I could NOT imagine her ever having sex

•Julia convinced Mk to get fake nails one time, after she tried using the bathroom, never again. She could not function with them

•Julia would get MK a carseat. I have almost the same body size as MK shes just like 4-5 inches shorter than me and if I can fit into one she can too

•On the topic of Mk being an age regressor. She would use pacifiers sometimes while shes not regressed just for stimming. She seems like the type of person to not give a fuck, the only reason she cared abt the unicorn was bc it was announced on international TV

•Bowie would help Julia make the carseat MKproof, it would be bite proof, and tight enouh to not strangle her but she cant wiggle free

•Why would MK have a carseat you might ask? Stealing, wreckless driving, they would have a huge ass car, maybe even a bus for the whole cast to go on road trips and MK would try to jump out the window off a dare Ripper or Chase said.

[daydreamertrait]

i need to vent im sorry lmfao

I started my student field placement yesterday and I absolutely HATED it. Like, I didn't have any problems with anyone and they were nice but I felt like a dumb ass. I was just following this one lady around the whole time because i didnt know what to do and i felt like I was being so annoying. Like I know im new but I felt like a fucking puppy following her around and I cant help thinking i was irritating her. All I was told to do was "watch my training videos and help set up tables and chairs" so I was lost for 80% of my shift. I think I cried in the bathroom about four times. I broke down crying when I got home too and my parents just yelled at me and told me to grow up... like I just wanted a bit of reassurance and comfort but I guess i was looking in the wrong place lol, how stupid of me!

Not to mention I worked from 1:30-9:00; I'm not used to working that late and I thought I could handle it. I have a chronic health condition that makes me super tired and I was so fucking exhausted by like 7:00. I don't want to say anything because I've already changed my schedule once and I don't want to bother my supervisor. But I literally got home, cried, and just collapsed into bed because I had no energy, had a headache, and I was in pain (since I had to help set up and take town tables + chairs & I suffer from inflammation/joint pain). I have to work the same shift today too and I'm already dreading it.

Tomorrow, I start at 10:30 so I do get to go home earlier. But, I won't have a ride and I can't drive, so I'll have to take TWO busses in an area I've never been to before yesterday. I hate taking the bus in general bc it gives me anxiety so I genuinely feel like throwing up. Not to mention I'm afraid of being late so I'm going to leave like an hour and a half early.

I only have this placement for three weeks. Even if I don't start to feel better about it, at least it's not permanent. But I need to get a good evaluation from my supervisor or I literally won't pass. I'm just exhausted and I'm feeling like maybe I chose the wrong field to go into :(

[glitchdollmemoria]

that last post mentioning masks got me thinking about how like... i quite literally cannot wear a mask at all times due to one of my disabilities. i TRY to wear one when i can but it isnt always an option for me, which fucking sucks because im terrified of getting sick and potentially worsening the very disability that prevents me from consistently masking. and hardly anyone masks anymore so its not like theyre helping to keep me or anyone else safe lmfao. to spell it out very plainly i am PRO-MASK so dont put words in my mouth here please.

i experience heat intolerance, as a symptom of some kind of muscle weakness fatigue issue that still hasnt been properly diagnosed. my body temperature runs warm, im overly sensitive to my environment, and physical activity makes it worse. if i overheat, my muscle weakness (and nausea, and brain fog, and-) will flare up and ill be forced to rest for what could range from minutes to hours to days to weeks to months depending on how bad it is. i have to take IMMEDIATE action when i notice myself getting too warm because i cant risk that, and taking immediate action includes removing anything i can thats keeping me warm, including masks.

so when i walk to work in the summer bc i have exactly zero alternate options? most likely cant mask right away when i come in unless the weather is cooler than usual, because i need to take like half an hour for my body temperature to go back to normal.

moving around more than usual during my shift? the physical activity is gonna increase my temperature and ill have to take my mask off.

going somewhere other than work, having to either walk or take the bus? either way i have to spend time in the sun and so again i will probably need a cool down period once i get inside / on the bus, depending on how hot the weather is.

and theres an intersection here of my multiple disabilities and my poverty. i cant drive due to another illness, and i cant afford to use a rideshare service or even regularly take the bus, so walking in the heat is my only option to get to work. my work options are limited because i couldnt complete college and cant perform heavy physical labor, so i have to stick with a retail job that requires a lot of moving throughout the store, which itself is physical labor that can potentially make me sick if i go overboard.

mostly i just wanted to put this out there because i never really see people talk about actual reasons they cant wear masks, its almost always antimaskers who dont give a damn about people like me. but if you take anything from my ranting, let it be these two points:

while most people who dont wear masks are just making that choice because they dont like doing so or dont think its important anymore, a few of us out here literally cannot always mask despite knowing its a risk to ourselves and others; and

IF YOU CAN MASK PLEASE KEEP FUCKING MASKING. covid still exists! disabled people still exist! many of us are extra susceptible to the long term effects of covid! please fucking help to protect us! please give a shit about us! i feel like im shouting into the void here because i hardly see anyone mask anymore but please.

[tea-and-secrets]

idk what to do with my relationship rn

me and my partner have been dating for almost a year now and for the most part used to live relatively close to each other (2 hr bus drive away but i got to them every weekend) but they moved to a different country. for context, we both have bpd and im autistic and theyre my fp. i genuinely feel so unloved and its more of a death by a thousand needle pricks than anything and idk who to share this with at this point. they didnt gift me anything for christmas or my birthday even though they knew i love gifts and i tried to make it clear what i wanted. a couple of times they made it clear my opinions dont matter to them and i always have to provide evidence for things if they ask me. every time theyre upset they blow up at me and no matter what i do it usually ends in them telling me something along the lines of "i hate you" or "i hope you never wake up" and me being absolutely hysterical, but then them backtracking and telling me they didnt mean it but only if i tell them im literally suicidal. i try not to ask them for anything bcs they always say that theyre happy to do something for me but then treat it like its too much effort and im a huge burden and a bother. they ignores me when i tell her i feel horrible but when theyre feeling horrible they treat it like its only my responsibility to fix it and make them feel better and get very angry when i cant. i try to help them with everything but ive pretty much developed a freeze response to them even mentioning that they feel bad. i always try to be clear about what i want and what i think is wrong but also not too demanding and they say theyre gonna try to change and it never happens.

recently ive been feeling like the relationship is only hanging on me bcs i initiate calls, i usually text first, i ask if they want to hang out or not, i try to not keep them waiting for my texts, i try to always be there for them and i feel like i dont get any of that. they say they dont do anything all day basically but sometimes dont even have time to check texts. bcs of the time difference we basically only get to hang out from my 4 pm to 2 am and for most of that im either busy with chores or trying to be quiet around my family and they doesnt take that into account at all.

i very much do love them and would rather die than leave them but sometimes i think about what would happen if i just dont text them again after a bad night and idk what to do now.

.

[mortiflyer]

🎉🚙📺

hmmm good ones...

prolly christmas i like the festivity and idk i just like cold holidays because you can celebrate them inside and be cozy w friends 😊

the bus! i take the bus to uni every day bc i dont have a license lol...if my area had a better train/subway id love that too tho but the point is bad bitches cant drive

for the longest time it was the good place and that show is very dear to me but recently ive had to rewatch the queen's gambit/ death note/parks and rec

[sugar-omi]

BIG FAT ORANGE CAT. I LOVE IT HERE. YOUR CAT IS MINE NOW RUNS AWAY WITH MY TIDDIES OUT

DUUUUUDE. i would've crashed out so bad omfg the sibling interrupting trope is SO GUT WRENCHING. (and can probably relate to olba. somehow.)

BUT LIKE YEAH NO IT GOT HOT. LIKE WE WERE MAKING OUT FOR A GOOD LIKE FIFTEEN MINUTES. HIS TONGUE AND FINGERS WRE IN MY MOUTH ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS. MY SHIRT ALMOST CAME OFF. I STILL HAVE HICKIES.

and GOD. the way he was fucking whining and panting into my mouth the whole time?? the way he made it impossible to arch with how heavily he was pressing against me??? the way he pulled away at the end of it breathless and whimpering, begging me to "stop feeling so good against [him] before [he stopped] being able to hold back"???? i had to take the bus home because if i let him drive me back to the dorms i would NOT have gotten back before midnight.

we agreed not to put a label on it yet, that we'd keep things light until we figured out what we both felt and what we both wanted without jumping into anything too early...BUT THE TEXT I GOT THIS MORNING. "but i wouldn't mind if we did. that. again"

HHHOOOOOOLY SHIT. OMI THIS CANNOT BE REAL.

i am now making it my mission to seduce this man into being all mine. i'm committed now.

STOPP NOOO HE DIDNT SAY THAT!!! NO WAY!!!!! usually im not crazy over the "i cant hold back" line but im so obsessed rn.... he's literally whipped. obsessed. a ximi lover. XIMI KISSER!!! HES LOCKED IN!!!!!

ALSO FINGERS ARE CRAZY. THATS. OH MAN THAT IS 🥵🥵🥵 AAAAA ALSO YESS HICKEYS ARE SO CRAZY. I LOVE IT.

AND PRESSING SO HARD AGAONST YOU YOU CANT EVEN MOVE BACK INTO HIM.... OHHH THATS SO COVE CODED. IM WRITING THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW

N THE WHIMPERING. PLEASE. THATS SO CUTE???? I need that so bad. oh my god. I cannot go on....

arghhh you would've had to pry my cold dead body off of him what the FUCK. I LOVE THIS!!! YAYYY!!!!

slow is good. slow is super good. definitely communicate what you want, like if you're a long-term girlie or if he's a long-term girlie but the other isnt/hasn't said that, jus go like "i wanna see how long this lasts bc this relationship feels really good so far"

(must say. idk whats in yalls head, so im jus talking to you like i would any of my friends okie<3333)

or even if ya don't know if you're a long-term type! or whatever!!! I think saying you wanna see how far this goes bc you're having a good time already, is good. it's like. no pressure yk. just wanna explore how deep the water is and enjoy it, and wherever it goes, you're happy with it

n ofc say if you'd like it to be a bf/gf thing. like "I'd like to be committed but rn I'm happy to see where it goes bc I rlly like you (and i wanna get there if possible)"

BUT YESS I SO AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT SEDUCING HIM. LOCK HIM UP!! PUT A RING ON IT!!!!!!

I told u I would immediately be planning our wedding, I can't so slow i am locked in IMMMMEDIATELY!!!

BUT DOMT BE CRAZY LIKE ME LMAOOO JUST HAVE FUN!!! GO ON DATES N STUFF!!!!! omg yknow what. fill out those like, friendship questionnaires. and those partner ones. like it may have things u might not have thought to know abt each other

like some things jus come naturally, but I think a quick way is cute, and sometimes stupid, and mundane dates, and questions like you're back in middle school

eeekk I can't believe we've made this much progress in jus a few DAYSSS IM SO OBSESSED 😫 u must tell me how things go.... my dms are wideeeee open 🥹💞

[wellthatsunfortunate444]

this is gonna be a long ass rant about my 'friend' feel free to ignore, i just need to get this out somewhere cuz im literally shaking she makes me so mad <3

i have this friend, S, and she always goes on about how we are so close and she loves me and she hopes college (im in the uk so its college for 16-18) doesnt separate us and that we stay close etc etc.

but then shes such a bitch and i rlly dont know why im still friends with her. shes rlly insensitive about sh, i mentioned to her when i was younger that i did it and she was supportive, but now she makes jokes about it all the time and she doesnt know i didnt stop at 13.

i have a lot of family issues, and shes well aware of them, but she always tries to make me feel guilty about stuff e.g my mum has adhd and my younger brother has autism & adhd (im considered a young carer) and they both have physical health issues, so it can take ages for me to be able to leave the house if im getting dropped off. theres no bus that goes direct to her house (and i dont want to have to walk over an hour everytime i see her. i could but adding on the bus journey i would spend about 2 hours travelling just to see her, and she always insists i go to her so it would be rlly unfair. (i cant have friends over due to multiple reasons and omg does she bitch about that. she could still come to my town with me but she never has)) and i cant afford to uber all the time so my mum often drives me but we are late a lot. ive told her countless times that i cant control when i leave since there are so many outside factors out of my hands, and she always complains when im late and says its disrespectful that i dont turn up on time among other things.

shes an only child and lives with both parents who do everything for her, so she cant even begin to understand how stressful basic things can be for me and my family. my dad doesnt live with me (he also is undergoing treatment for brain cancer which she doesnt give a shit about, and even says stuff like "oh well you can still go out even if hes visiting, its not that big of a deal" if i tell her i cant go out cuz hes over on a break from chemo)

now shes mad at me because we are going to a mutual sleepover tmrw and she wanted to host pre drinks (which i honestly think is kinda pointless) with another friend before walking to the sleepover together. i asked my mum if she would take me and she initially said yes, but then she changed her mind because its easier to drop me to the mutual friends house from mine, and she doesnt see the point in driving further just for me to have to walk 30 minutes from S's house anyway. when i told S, she said that i was making excuses cuz i didnt wanna go, and that i dont make enough effort since if it were her she would just go anyway (ofc she would bc her parents do whatever she wants in fear of her having a tantrum). no matter how much i tried to explain that i cant change my mums mind, and that if i walk the 30 minutes to hers and then walk with her back to where i was dropped then 1. thats over an hour i have to walk for with my big overnight bag which i dont rlly wanna do, and 2. we will be late because im getting dropped when the sleepover starts.

she also brought up the fact that im often late to her, and said i shouldnt cancel the night before but i messaged her in the morning and she didnt reply, and also i only found out my mum would take me today so theres nothing i can do???

she tried to excuse it by saying shes frustrated that i cant go, and i told her thats not an excuse to suggest its my fault or to say im making excuses, and she left me on read.

shes such a bitch i cant wait to go to college and never have to see her again shes so self absorbed.

i get that its annoying, dont you think im fucking annoyed and i have to live it. and i havent even listed all the issues in this post. she only cares about how my life effects her, and never once has she checked if im ok despite me saying im stressed. i get shes not obligated to check on me, but she constantly goes on about how she loves me and she really doesnt act like it. even friends that i barely talk to have checked in on me after hearing about my home life.

i rlly do like her, and we could be so close if she was just less self absorbed. i cant bring myself to see her as a real friend, because she cant accept a giant part of my life and it really fucking hurts.

she makes me feel like im a terrible person, but theres nothing i can do to fix it. i fucking wish my life was more normal but its not and it never will be so highlighting that its not normal does nothing but make me feel like shit.

[kurthorton-moving]

the camp massacre is actually something I love talking about so much w kurt bc of how intensely it affects him. like obviously it does bc a bunch of people die its traumatizing but also the. nightwing is such a safe place for him its away from his parents and he's the one in charge and he has the freedom to just exist as a person there (albiet he still trains and diets the same as at home). tommy is one of the nicest counselors at camp and i think he and kurt have been really good friends since they were campers and he trusts tommy wholeheartedly. joans probably someone hes had an eye on a while and potentially hooked up with a few times before, they're fond of each other despite being from such different worlds.

and then after sex with her, after a quick shower, he comes out to find her dead. it may not have been the bloodiest in the movie, but it was still rough. he doesnt hesitate at all to run out of the cabin in just a towel, looking for everyone else, trying to find out what to do and what happened. its nick he finds first which is definitely for the best cause anyone else would've been looking to Him for guidance and he was too panicked to do anything. he gets his instructions to gather the campers and get them on the bus and get them out of there and he follows through wholeheartedly. he runs around the woods barefoot and freezing, feet probably in a lot of pain, but he gets all the campers and gets them to the bus. he sees tommy bloody and holding an axe. he gets hurt protecting a kid. he gets on the bus and tries to take care of his wounds while someone else drives, still in nothing but a towel. old scars on display for the first time but too focused on everyone else to realize the vulnerability. counts the kids and knows theres A Lot that arent on the bus, either already dead or hiding and hoping someone will come to help — but kurt knows that no one will. has to battle with the knowledge that someone he loved and trusted was doing this, battle with the knowledge that joan was killed while he was one room away, battle with the fact that nick isnt on the bus with them, all while trying not to bleed out.

and when they finally get to the hospital its still just chaos. cameras and reporters everywhere, questions directed at kurt that he cant answer, blame for being the guy in charge even though hes maybe 19 or 20, still practically a kid himself in so many ways. facing it all down while knowing his parents didn't rush to the hospital when they heard what happened. they didn't come to make sure hes okay. no one did. until, finally, the next morning. nick comes to him and kurt feels relief for the first time since it all happened. his parents come soon after and he's back to dread as the doctors tell his parents that he won't be able to do gymnastics anymore, at least not competitively, not the way he used to. his whole world has collapsed and changed forever and he never knows why. everyone just says tommy snapped and kurt sobs not understanding why, just knowing that when tommy attacked him that he looked in tommy's eyes and it wasnt tommy looking back at him. he never knows that it was nicks fault, never knows that for whatever reason nick had chosen tommy to curse. he's left to just believe the most kind amazing guy he'd ever known had snapped and killed people, had tried to kill him.

he mourns all the kids that didnt make it, visits their families and learns all he can about them. keeps a notebook. carries it everywhere. vows that he'll never let anyone in his care get hurt again, no matter the cost.