#taking the bus bc i like the bus and i cant drive

[notquitehuman-creations]

going out by myself tomorrow wish me luck 👍

[kicksnscribs]

Wow...

[krispiecake]

i think every bus should be running every 5 minutes what do you mean my 40 min journey is taking me 2hrs. what do you mean. i hope the government starts adequately funding public transport and accommodating school rushes or i hope they kill themselves.

[vantacrew]

uuuuuuuu y si me arrancaba mi arteria carotida......... pero ntp soy normal 😇😇

[freesomebodybyluna]

Went to go see barbie with a coworker today, which was suuuper good btw and after we went to get froyo, which was so nice bc we talked for like 2 hrs until going home hehe I love making friends!!

[wintersoldeer]

everyone else gets: ...bells?

i get: my dashboard not working at all anymore (just an empty white page)

[everythingne]

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ ➛ double gold - gr63

the most undescreet mercedes fan makes her way to the olympics for team usa. people very quickly learn why she's very unhinged about her love for all things mercedes.

george russell x usa gymnast!reader / fc: suni lee

warnings/notes: reader is mentioned to have had kidney disease in the past/going through dialysis (shout out suni lee my WIFE) everytime i write a george win he either dnfs or disqualifies. i should stop. i also made this SO FAST. ignore any formatting mistakes.

liked by lilymhe, teamusa, alexalbon and others...

uruser: represented my team (USA) and my team (merc) and then promptly fell asleep on the bus bc my awe of being here is too much for my little brain :(

tagged: mercedesamg, teamusa, and two others...

lilymhe: literally boarding my flighttt !!! im so so proud see u soon !

⤷ uruser: pls tell me you stole alex's hoodie for me...

⤷ lilymhe: he'll never know

⤷ alexalbon: these are PUBLIC comments.

user1: every once and a while i forget lily is not only dating an f1 driver, but her cousin is literally an OLYMPIC FUCKING GYMNAST?

alexalbon: SO PROUD WE WILL SEE U AFTER THE GP!!

logansargeant: i love knowing one of the powerhouses the us sends to the olympics

⤷ uruser: aweeee love u too logannn <3 (US PRIDE THIS WEEKEND BITCH U BETTER NOT FINISH LAST)

⤷ logansargeant: yes ma'am i will make u proud

user2: good luck !!

user3: MAKING THE USA PROUD ONE NAP AT A TIME

mercedesamg: we love our biggest supporter <3

⤷ uruser: i love YOU mercedes

georgerussell: best of luck yn :)!!

⤷ uruser: thanks georgie :D!

⤷ alexalbon: hello?? what is this??

⤷ lilymhe: eyeing you russell

⤷ georgerussell: literally what have i done wrong

⤷ landonorris: nah you cant flirt with his future in laws

⤷ georgerussell: if saying good luck is flirting, i have news for everyone.

liked by logansargeant, simonebiles, teamusa, and others...

uruser: talked about it in an interview, but i struggled with my blood pressure all day. i've been lightheaded, swollen, and exhausted, but i did it. we fought through it, and ur girl is moving to finals!!

tagged: gk, teamusa

georgerussell: incredible work today !

⤷ landonorris: rooting for the enemy i see

⤷ uruser: thank you george <3

teamusa: that's our girl!!

user: so proud of u as a fellow kidney disease survivor <3

user1: girl had a bp of 140 and still beat like everyone. my fucking queen.

alexalbon: ez work queen get back to training

uruser: yessir

lilymhe: get ur meds and take it easy!! love uuu see u for dinner <3

landonorris: u make it look easy

uruser: trust. its so hard.

simonebiles: i dont know how you do it. ur so amazing.

⤷ uruser: coming from the goat herself ?!!!!

liked by uruser, susiewolff, alexalbon, and others...

georgerussell: left it all out on the track today. absolutely honored to do this a second time so soon.

tagged: mercedesamg, f1, barcelonagp

uruser: YAAAA GEORGIEEE!!! congrats!!!

⤷ georgerussell: thank u :)

user: GEORGE W!!!!

lewishamilton: amazing as always george. first half of the season crushed.

⤷ georgerussell: it's only up from here mate

simonebiles: the tears @ uruser shed for this win...

⤷ jordanchiles: we will finally get peace and quiet on weekends

⤷ uruser: shut up get a hobby both of you

alexalbon: incredible drive as always george

landonorris: ur so mean for not letting me pass :(

oscarpiastri: best fight of the season so far. looking forward to more.

⤷ georgerussell: hope to see you on that top step again mate

uruser: lets go george lets go george

⤷ georgerussell: my personal cheerleader <3

⤷ alexalbon: delete that heart or so help me god

liked by georgerussell, teamusa, simonebiles, and others...

uruser: this 'lazy' athlete skipped her dialysis today to win A FUCKING GOLD MEDAL!!!! YAAAAAA!!!! so so so proud of my girls for the team effort put together for this all around win. you are the greatest. (yes lily and alex, i am doing dialysis now.)

tagged: simonebiles, teamusa, jordanchile and others...

georgerussell: congratulations but please do your dialysis before alex finds out

⤷ uruser: its alright love, im all hooked up and dilating or whatever. thanks for the support as always russell <3

⤷ georgerussell: wow, no georgie?

⤷ uruser: gonna pout over it, honey?

⤷ user: is this not flirting?

alexalbon: YN. I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD.

user: SHE SKIPPED HER DIALYSIS FOR FLOOR??

⤷ user1: and they wouldn't move the schedule around her LIFE SAVING MEDICAL APPOINTMENT?

⤷ user2: no wonder the teamusa physicians grabbed her so quickly after the medal ceremony :(

alexalbon: DIALYSIS IS VERY IMPORTANT. IM GOING TO HIT WHOEVER SAID YOU COULDN'T DO IT.

⤷ uruser: IM DOING MY DIALYSIS RIGHT NOW WHY ARE YOU MORE STRESSED THAN LILY??

⤷ alexalbon: because YOU'RE A BABY

⤷ uruser: YOU ARE NOT THAT MUCH OLDER THAN ME FUCKER

lilymhe: alex is pacing but GREAT JOB BABYYYY YAAAYAYAYA SO PROUD OF UUU

user3: fire whoever had her SKIP MEDICAL TREATMENT.

liked by snoopdogg, usagymnastics, georgerussell, and more...

uruser: bronzed. sharing that podium with rebecca and simone is such an honor. up and up we go!! <3

tagged: simonebiles, teamusa, rebeccaandrade and more..

georgerussell: very deserved, as always

⤷ uruser: i swear ur obsessed w me (its ok just dont tell alex)

⤷ alexalbon: i'm starting to think none of you understand the concept of public comments

user: WELL DESERVED!!!

rebeccaandrade: você foi incrível!

⤷ uruser: obrigado! você também! (i hope thats right!)

⤷ user: YN LEARNING PORTUGUESE TO SPEAK WITH REBECCA HAS MY WHOOOLLLEEE HEARTTTT

landonorris: shiny !

logansargeant: AMERICAAA!!!!

⤷ uruser: RAAAHHH

liked by georgerussell, rebeccaandrade, lewishamilton, and others...

uruser: GOLD in beam. and y'all know how much beam and i fight. there are no amount of words to express the joy im feeling. wow. thanks to my lovely brit @ georgerussell for the support for his girlie across the pond <3

tagged: georgerussell, parisolympics, teamusa, and others...

alexalbon: i am so.

alexalbon: what the fuck?

⤷ user: LMAOOO

lilymhe: YAY!!! MY BABY DID ITTT!!! I UGLY SOBBEDDD AHAHA LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABES DINNER ON ME TNNN!!!

user1: george!!!!!! GEOOORRRGEEE!!

alexalbon: GEORGE???

⤷ uruser: was me liking mercedes a weird amount not enough of a hint for you?

georgerussell: so proud of you sunshine <3

⤷ uruser: love u georgie

⤷ landonorris: gross get a room (jk. very proud george got a girl just as talented as himself)

⤷ georgerussell: wow a rare lando compliment. i will cherish it for years to come.

⤷ landonorris: fuck you im never complimenting you again

lewishamilton: congratulations!! hope to see you in the paddocks soon in some merc gear this time

⤷ mercedesamg: oh we can handle that

⤷ williamsracing: you can pry yn from our cold dead hands

⤷ mercedesamg: babes. im gonna hold your hand when i say this williams, you've lost in the public eye after ur stunt with logan. we win yn in the divorce.

⤷ uruser: YEAH IM ON LOGANS SIDE DAMNIT!!! AMERICANS STICK TOGETHER!!

⤷ logansargeant: true patriot right here

georgerussell: still in AWE of my gf being a TWO TIME OLYMPIC AA GOLD MEDALIST

⤷ uruser: my boyfriend is a FORMULA ONE DRIVER. how fucking cool is that!???

⤷ georgerussell: cool enough for you to go to dinner with me?

⤷ uruser: always

⤷ lilymhe: they grow up so fast

alexalbon: GEORGE WILLIAM RUSSELL?

tag list for all works (open!)

@d3kstar (i hope ur tag works this time lovely!)

[glitchdollmemoria]

that last post mentioning masks got me thinking about how like... i quite literally cannot wear a mask at all times due to one of my disabilities. i TRY to wear one when i can but it isnt always an option for me, which fucking sucks because im terrified of getting sick and potentially worsening the very disability that prevents me from consistently masking. and hardly anyone masks anymore so its not like theyre helping to keep me or anyone else safe lmfao. to spell it out very plainly i am PRO-MASK so dont put words in my mouth here please.

i experience heat intolerance, as a symptom of some kind of muscle weakness fatigue issue that still hasnt been properly diagnosed. my body temperature runs warm, im overly sensitive to my environment, and physical activity makes it worse. if i overheat, my muscle weakness (and nausea, and brain fog, and-) will flare up and ill be forced to rest for what could range from minutes to hours to days to weeks to months depending on how bad it is. i have to take IMMEDIATE action when i notice myself getting too warm because i cant risk that, and taking immediate action includes removing anything i can thats keeping me warm, including masks.

so when i walk to work in the summer bc i have exactly zero alternate options? most likely cant mask right away when i come in unless the weather is cooler than usual, because i need to take like half an hour for my body temperature to go back to normal.

moving around more than usual during my shift? the physical activity is gonna increase my temperature and ill have to take my mask off.

going somewhere other than work, having to either walk or take the bus? either way i have to spend time in the sun and so again i will probably need a cool down period once i get inside / on the bus, depending on how hot the weather is.

and theres an intersection here of my multiple disabilities and my poverty. i cant drive due to another illness, and i cant afford to use a rideshare service or even regularly take the bus, so walking in the heat is my only option to get to work. my work options are limited because i couldnt complete college and cant perform heavy physical labor, so i have to stick with a retail job that requires a lot of moving throughout the store, which itself is physical labor that can potentially make me sick if i go overboard.

mostly i just wanted to put this out there because i never really see people talk about actual reasons they cant wear masks, its almost always antimaskers who dont give a damn about people like me. but if you take anything from my ranting, let it be these two points:

while most people who dont wear masks are just making that choice because they dont like doing so or dont think its important anymore, a few of us out here literally cannot always mask despite knowing its a risk to ourselves and others; and

IF YOU CAN MASK PLEASE KEEP FUCKING MASKING. covid still exists! disabled people still exist! many of us are extra susceptible to the long term effects of covid! please fucking help to protect us! please give a shit about us! i feel like im shouting into the void here because i hardly see anyone mask anymore but please.

[tea-and-secrets]

idk what to do with my relationship rn

me and my partner have been dating for almost a year now and for the most part used to live relatively close to each other (2 hr bus drive away but i got to them every weekend) but they moved to a different country. for context, we both have bpd and im autistic and theyre my fp. i genuinely feel so unloved and its more of a death by a thousand needle pricks than anything and idk who to share this with at this point. they didnt gift me anything for christmas or my birthday even though they knew i love gifts and i tried to make it clear what i wanted. a couple of times they made it clear my opinions dont matter to them and i always have to provide evidence for things if they ask me. every time theyre upset they blow up at me and no matter what i do it usually ends in them telling me something along the lines of "i hate you" or "i hope you never wake up" and me being absolutely hysterical, but then them backtracking and telling me they didnt mean it but only if i tell them im literally suicidal. i try not to ask them for anything bcs they always say that theyre happy to do something for me but then treat it like its too much effort and im a huge burden and a bother. they ignores me when i tell her i feel horrible but when theyre feeling horrible they treat it like its only my responsibility to fix it and make them feel better and get very angry when i cant. i try to help them with everything but ive pretty much developed a freeze response to them even mentioning that they feel bad. i always try to be clear about what i want and what i think is wrong but also not too demanding and they say theyre gonna try to change and it never happens.

recently ive been feeling like the relationship is only hanging on me bcs i initiate calls, i usually text first, i ask if they want to hang out or not, i try to not keep them waiting for my texts, i try to always be there for them and i feel like i dont get any of that. they say they dont do anything all day basically but sometimes dont even have time to check texts. bcs of the time difference we basically only get to hang out from my 4 pm to 2 am and for most of that im either busy with chores or trying to be quiet around my family and they doesnt take that into account at all.

i very much do love them and would rather die than leave them but sometimes i think about what would happen if i just dont text them again after a bad night and idk what to do now.

.

[sugar-omi]

BIG FAT ORANGE CAT. I LOVE IT HERE. YOUR CAT IS MINE NOW RUNS AWAY WITH MY TIDDIES OUT

DUUUUUDE. i would've crashed out so bad omfg the sibling interrupting trope is SO GUT WRENCHING. (and can probably relate to olba. somehow.)

BUT LIKE YEAH NO IT GOT HOT. LIKE WE WERE MAKING OUT FOR A GOOD LIKE FIFTEEN MINUTES. HIS TONGUE AND FINGERS WRE IN MY MOUTH ON SEVERAL OCCASIONS. MY SHIRT ALMOST CAME OFF. I STILL HAVE HICKIES.

and GOD. the way he was fucking whining and panting into my mouth the whole time?? the way he made it impossible to arch with how heavily he was pressing against me??? the way he pulled away at the end of it breathless and whimpering, begging me to "stop feeling so good against [him] before [he stopped] being able to hold back"???? i had to take the bus home because if i let him drive me back to the dorms i would NOT have gotten back before midnight.

we agreed not to put a label on it yet, that we'd keep things light until we figured out what we both felt and what we both wanted without jumping into anything too early...BUT THE TEXT I GOT THIS MORNING. "but i wouldn't mind if we did. that. again"

HHHOOOOOOLY SHIT. OMI THIS CANNOT BE REAL.

i am now making it my mission to seduce this man into being all mine. i'm committed now.

STOPP NOOO HE DIDNT SAY THAT!!! NO WAY!!!!! usually im not crazy over the "i cant hold back" line but im so obsessed rn.... he's literally whipped. obsessed. a ximi lover. XIMI KISSER!!! HES LOCKED IN!!!!!

ALSO FINGERS ARE CRAZY. THATS. OH MAN THAT IS 🥵🥵🥵 AAAAA ALSO YESS HICKEYS ARE SO CRAZY. I LOVE IT.

AND PRESSING SO HARD AGAONST YOU YOU CANT EVEN MOVE BACK INTO HIM.... OHHH THATS SO COVE CODED. IM WRITING THAT DOWN RIGHT NOW

N THE WHIMPERING. PLEASE. THATS SO CUTE???? I need that so bad. oh my god. I cannot go on....

arghhh you would've had to pry my cold dead body off of him what the FUCK. I LOVE THIS!!! YAYYY!!!!

slow is good. slow is super good. definitely communicate what you want, like if you're a long-term girlie or if he's a long-term girlie but the other isnt/hasn't said that, jus go like "i wanna see how long this lasts bc this relationship feels really good so far"

(must say. idk whats in yalls head, so im jus talking to you like i would any of my friends okie<3333)

or even if ya don't know if you're a long-term type! or whatever!!! I think saying you wanna see how far this goes bc you're having a good time already, is good. it's like. no pressure yk. just wanna explore how deep the water is and enjoy it, and wherever it goes, you're happy with it

n ofc say if you'd like it to be a bf/gf thing. like "I'd like to be committed but rn I'm happy to see where it goes bc I rlly like you (and i wanna get there if possible)"

BUT YESS I SO AGREE WITH YOU ABOUT SEDUCING HIM. LOCK HIM UP!! PUT A RING ON IT!!!!!!

I told u I would immediately be planning our wedding, I can't so slow i am locked in IMMMMEDIATELY!!!

BUT DOMT BE CRAZY LIKE ME LMAOOO JUST HAVE FUN!!! GO ON DATES N STUFF!!!!! omg yknow what. fill out those like, friendship questionnaires. and those partner ones. like it may have things u might not have thought to know abt each other

like some things jus come naturally, but I think a quick way is cute, and sometimes stupid, and mundane dates, and questions like you're back in middle school

eeekk I can't believe we've made this much progress in jus a few DAYSSS IM SO OBSESSED 😫 u must tell me how things go.... my dms are wideeeee open 🥹💞

[wellthatsunfortunate444]

this is gonna be a long ass rant about my 'friend' feel free to ignore, i just need to get this out somewhere cuz im literally shaking she makes me so mad <3

i have this friend, S, and she always goes on about how we are so close and she loves me and she hopes college (im in the uk so its college for 16-18) doesnt separate us and that we stay close etc etc.

but then shes such a bitch and i rlly dont know why im still friends with her. shes rlly insensitive about sh, i mentioned to her when i was younger that i did it and she was supportive, but now she makes jokes about it all the time and she doesnt know i didnt stop at 13.

i have a lot of family issues, and shes well aware of them, but she always tries to make me feel guilty about stuff e.g my mum has adhd and my younger brother has autism & adhd (im considered a young carer) and they both have physical health issues, so it can take ages for me to be able to leave the house if im getting dropped off. theres no bus that goes direct to her house (and i dont want to have to walk over an hour everytime i see her. i could but adding on the bus journey i would spend about 2 hours travelling just to see her, and she always insists i go to her so it would be rlly unfair. (i cant have friends over due to multiple reasons and omg does she bitch about that. she could still come to my town with me but she never has)) and i cant afford to uber all the time so my mum often drives me but we are late a lot. ive told her countless times that i cant control when i leave since there are so many outside factors out of my hands, and she always complains when im late and says its disrespectful that i dont turn up on time among other things.

shes an only child and lives with both parents who do everything for her, so she cant even begin to understand how stressful basic things can be for me and my family. my dad doesnt live with me (he also is undergoing treatment for brain cancer which she doesnt give a shit about, and even says stuff like "oh well you can still go out even if hes visiting, its not that big of a deal" if i tell her i cant go out cuz hes over on a break from chemo)

now shes mad at me because we are going to a mutual sleepover tmrw and she wanted to host pre drinks (which i honestly think is kinda pointless) with another friend before walking to the sleepover together. i asked my mum if she would take me and she initially said yes, but then she changed her mind because its easier to drop me to the mutual friends house from mine, and she doesnt see the point in driving further just for me to have to walk 30 minutes from S's house anyway. when i told S, she said that i was making excuses cuz i didnt wanna go, and that i dont make enough effort since if it were her she would just go anyway (ofc she would bc her parents do whatever she wants in fear of her having a tantrum). no matter how much i tried to explain that i cant change my mums mind, and that if i walk the 30 minutes to hers and then walk with her back to where i was dropped then 1. thats over an hour i have to walk for with my big overnight bag which i dont rlly wanna do, and 2. we will be late because im getting dropped when the sleepover starts.

she also brought up the fact that im often late to her, and said i shouldnt cancel the night before but i messaged her in the morning and she didnt reply, and also i only found out my mum would take me today so theres nothing i can do???

she tried to excuse it by saying shes frustrated that i cant go, and i told her thats not an excuse to suggest its my fault or to say im making excuses, and she left me on read.

shes such a bitch i cant wait to go to college and never have to see her again shes so self absorbed.

i get that its annoying, dont you think im fucking annoyed and i have to live it. and i havent even listed all the issues in this post. she only cares about how my life effects her, and never once has she checked if im ok despite me saying im stressed. i get shes not obligated to check on me, but she constantly goes on about how she loves me and she really doesnt act like it. even friends that i barely talk to have checked in on me after hearing about my home life.

i rlly do like her, and we could be so close if she was just less self absorbed. i cant bring myself to see her as a real friend, because she cant accept a giant part of my life and it really fucking hurts.

she makes me feel like im a terrible person, but theres nothing i can do to fix it. i fucking wish my life was more normal but its not and it never will be so highlighting that its not normal does nothing but make me feel like shit.

[kurthorton-moving]

the camp massacre is actually something I love talking about so much w kurt bc of how intensely it affects him. like obviously it does bc a bunch of people die its traumatizing but also the. nightwing is such a safe place for him its away from his parents and he's the one in charge and he has the freedom to just exist as a person there (albiet he still trains and diets the same as at home). tommy is one of the nicest counselors at camp and i think he and kurt have been really good friends since they were campers and he trusts tommy wholeheartedly. joans probably someone hes had an eye on a while and potentially hooked up with a few times before, they're fond of each other despite being from such different worlds.

and then after sex with her, after a quick shower, he comes out to find her dead. it may not have been the bloodiest in the movie, but it was still rough. he doesnt hesitate at all to run out of the cabin in just a towel, looking for everyone else, trying to find out what to do and what happened. its nick he finds first which is definitely for the best cause anyone else would've been looking to Him for guidance and he was too panicked to do anything. he gets his instructions to gather the campers and get them on the bus and get them out of there and he follows through wholeheartedly. he runs around the woods barefoot and freezing, feet probably in a lot of pain, but he gets all the campers and gets them to the bus. he sees tommy bloody and holding an axe. he gets hurt protecting a kid. he gets on the bus and tries to take care of his wounds while someone else drives, still in nothing but a towel. old scars on display for the first time but too focused on everyone else to realize the vulnerability. counts the kids and knows theres A Lot that arent on the bus, either already dead or hiding and hoping someone will come to help — but kurt knows that no one will. has to battle with the knowledge that someone he loved and trusted was doing this, battle with the knowledge that joan was killed while he was one room away, battle with the fact that nick isnt on the bus with them, all while trying not to bleed out.

and when they finally get to the hospital its still just chaos. cameras and reporters everywhere, questions directed at kurt that he cant answer, blame for being the guy in charge even though hes maybe 19 or 20, still practically a kid himself in so many ways. facing it all down while knowing his parents didn't rush to the hospital when they heard what happened. they didn't come to make sure hes okay. no one did. until, finally, the next morning. nick comes to him and kurt feels relief for the first time since it all happened. his parents come soon after and he's back to dread as the doctors tell his parents that he won't be able to do gymnastics anymore, at least not competitively, not the way he used to. his whole world has collapsed and changed forever and he never knows why. everyone just says tommy snapped and kurt sobs not understanding why, just knowing that when tommy attacked him that he looked in tommy's eyes and it wasnt tommy looking back at him. he never knows that it was nicks fault, never knows that for whatever reason nick had chosen tommy to curse. he's left to just believe the most kind amazing guy he'd ever known had snapped and killed people, had tried to kill him.

he mourns all the kids that didnt make it, visits their families and learns all he can about them. keeps a notebook. carries it everywhere. vows that he'll never let anyone in his care get hurt again, no matter the cost.

[artsychaosbean]

I'm so terrified I don't know what to do

My mother was kicked off of disability for getting "too much money" She was on old age pension and disability. Every single cent went into bills, rent and food and medication for a household of 4. Along with the money I get every 3 months, the money my siblings make off of their freelance careers. All of it went into living expenses.

But we STILL never had enough for a full 4 weeks of groceries, we scraped by on 2 - 3weeks of groceries. We STILL never had enough for our disability diets for mom and I so we ate the least. And we dont have enough never had enough for all the medications we need like my vitamins and supplements for my deficiencies or the medicine for my stomach issues, or mom's thyroid medicine.

Never been able to afford asthma medicine or seizure medicine. Even if it wasn't for her paying for us to live too. It STILL isn't enough to cover just her medications or food. Majority of it goes into bills and rent. Very little is left over for food or medicine which is why I and my siblings chip in to try to help.

But its still "Too much money"? Even when if she was alone she STILL couldn't live off of it? We live in the cheapest house in the area, thats including among other neighbouring towns. We eat UNDER the calorie limit we should be, we never throw a single bit of food out unless its unuseable. We eat like mice nibbling on everything we eat and trying to fill more space with water so we don't eat as much every meal.

So mom was kicked off, and we don't know what we're going to do. Theres no jobs in my town, we cant drive or afford a license much less a car. We cant pay for a daily bus pass for interviews we have no garuntee in passing and getting a job from, out of town and back.

We don't have the ability to save up to do so either and mom and I are disabled we can't work we physically are unable to. My eldest sibling has a screwed up knee, we all have PTSD bc the system failed us when I was younger and left my family stuck in an abusive situation to protect me from being r*ped when I was a m!nor bc its all we could do. We went through years of court cases, and s*xual and physical abuse until I was 14 when the monster died. Then years of stalking and attempted break ins, harassment, by the a**holes family until I was 19 with no one in my town helping not even law enforcement. So we have PTSD, things like ambulances, sirens from cop cars, sirens from fire trucks cause us to have panic attacks. We struggle to be separated bc for survival we never could be. We have flashbacks out of our control. No amount of therapy fixes it. We can't afford therapy anymore either. Yet its being decided we are "Able enough to work" and we make too much money by having just enough to barely scrape by or survive?

The system is so broken, cold hearted and cruel and it NEEDS to change it NEEDS to be fixed. Just because our disabilities are invisible like PTSD and Epilepsy or inconsistant where some days the pain isn't as bad as others or is sporradic like tourettes doesn't mean we aren't disabled.

and my older sibling and I still have dental work to get done. The only place in town that takes people with anxiety is going to charge around 2.5k to do both mine and my sibling's teeth. plus we have to get mom's top dentures fixed and my other sibling needs a tooth fixed. So thats even more. But my one sibling and I can't wait until free dental is in for us in 2025. The dental plan will take too long for us. Our teeth can't wait that long, their's has active decay and mine is in severe pain and worn down from bruxism from tourettes. My whole family needs new glasses but we cant even afford an appointment to get a prescription for them much less afford a pair of glasses from any local shops. What are we going to do? I feel helpless and scared. I'm watching my whole family destroy themselves in depression over the news because they lost all hope in seconds because we CANT get back on disability and theres no hope in this town. Its so painful. All I can do now is try to act like everything is normal and keep myself distracted so I can stay the strong one for them. But im terrified. I'm really terrified. Its hard to even afford pads in my town its so expensive just for a bag of pads. When we have to buy more it means less food. What will I do now? I can't use any alternatives bc of medical reasons, pads are my only option among feminine products. Even if no one can help us, can I please ask everyone regardless of your religion to keep us in your prayers? Just incase it might help. I like to keep hope and believe it would. And even if you aren't religious please send us your good thoughts and energy. I believe the universe will get it to us still anyways. Maybe im being a bit silly but right now I need anything to believe in to get through this. Yknow?

[g0thsoojin]

the problem is just that i have become too fkn scared of sex. modern porn have normalized degrading and abusing women on such a level that boys in kindergarten are sexually assaulting and raping the girls there. we are dealing with such extreme levels of "women are subhuman actually" that even girls who are children are basically nothing more than rapetoys for men and boys. but it drives me insane that nobody is even talking about it, and worst: nobody gives a fuck. they're like oh a 6yr old girl was groped and had things inserted in her vagina by a couple of boys at kindergarten? who cares!!! like our girls have to go to KINDERGARTEN and they might be raped. if i had daughters, i'd demand girls only kindergartens and school bc being raped and sexually assaulted is just an everyday reality for girls and women. but oh right, nobody gives a fuck! i honestly think something really fucked up has happened to both men AND women (i see so many women who GENUINELY think they "cant" be misogynist just bc theyre women themselves. one of the most iq free things i've ever seen im genuinely appalled), that literally 99% of ppl in current time believes women ARE subhuman and only exist for sexual pleasure and gratification.

i mean when im outside now (and i live in one of the best and safest countries for women) im experiencing levels of misogyny i've never even seen before, and thats why it shocks me. just today the male bus driver barked at a woman to sit her fucking ass down when she was gonna show him her bus ticket (which theyve made laws forcing u to do) and she was like umm my ticket? and he screamed at her to sit the fuck down. bc men talk to women like we're dogs and not human. a male student was super rude to our teacher, constantly correcting her and talking over her as if he knew more than her. this country have been so fucking much better that i have NEVER witnessed casual misogyny. but even here it has gotten worse. and then imagine countries like afghanistan where women arent even fucking allowed to exist for anything other than being used as breeding machines. ?? it's so fucking INSANE. But it makes me more insane that truly nobody fucking cares!!!!! nobody gives a shit. men jump at the chance to finallyyyy get to treat women and girls like shit, bc they like it and think it's fun. (the amount of men who DONT do this is so small. they exist and im fucking grateful af for that but it is terrifying to realize that the amount that would say that hey this is wrong is like.... so fkn small).

anyway lmao my main point i wanted to vent about is that im too scared of sex. bc abuse have been so normalized on too many levels that we're living in a truly dark era of extreme rape culture (but nobody cares bc theyre too busy with "sex positivity" which is only rape culture. actually doing what u want with who u want is ok, and ppl who have been into that always have and always will. but sadly misogynistic men picked up on it and decided to hijack that movement to normalize rape which has happened). im so scared of having sex, esp when they guy i like is into anal sex and would want to fuck me into the ass. and seeing some things he's interacted with (good girls take it in the ass even if it hurts for example) makes me feel like if i want him to love me i HAVE to let him fuck me in the ass, even if i dont want that and am scared of the pain - my pain is what is arousing. and this rape culture has been so successful that me and so many girls feel forced to do sexual acts we dont want to - because we are supposed to want pain, we are supposed to want to be degraded and beaten and like so many awful things. i feel like i CANT say no to anal bc then he will leave me. so ofc i wont, i'd let him fuck me in the ass even if im so fucking scared and i know it will be extremely painful. i will keep loving him even if i know that he still fucked me in the ass, even if he knows i dont really want to, and that he likes when i scream in pain and bleed and hurt. because rape culture has won. and nobody fucking cares. as a woman i am supposed to and have to be abused and degraded. that is all that exists for me. if im lucky i find a man i actually love and can gaslight myself into thinking im fine bc i love him and if he hurts me and cums to my pain then it's fine im fine i dont care haha!!! because this is just the life of a woman.

and it has changed so fucking fast that ppl dont even realize that rape culture won. a couple of years ago women were taking ownership of their bodies, saying that they deserve orgasms and pleasure and that "my body my rules" "my pussy my rules". all that have now changed to "my pussy HIS choice" and "women actually like pain and they want u to hurt them. and if they get so wet and cum they want it like the whores they are even if they say no" is a message widely broadcasted, incl. to CHILDREN. mainly boys bc boys are the ones who watch porn the most. and they dont ask. for they learn that this is the correct way. so then they grab one of their female classmates and hides her away in a closet and sexually assaults her (if u dont believe me like most of y'all wont bc y'all are so fkn.. so fkn dense and have ALLOWED rape culture to win. fkn congrats! your biggest accomplishment yet??? u can fkn google and look up all the countless articles of prepubescent boys sexually assaulting girls).

[fail-boy]

waaaah say hi to her for me!!!!!👋👋👋👋 walking dogs with just music sounds so nice, ive looked into being a dog walker many times before but i cant drive so i wouldn't be able to get to anyone's house >.< (also im scared of small dogs and most people here have smaller dogs...i much prefer bigger ones bc they're nicer to me) i hope the 'za is tasty🍕🍕 as for me...i never have plans lol i mainly just watch videos and try to draw. however i did recently clean up the floor of my room enough to be able to see it and walk again so that's exciting for me :D

also- i have a partner and am polyam too!!!! twinsies!!!!!! ill do my best to flirt bc ill be honest. i dont know how. nor do i pick up on it but ill try my darndest🫡

what music do you listen to??? i listen to like practically anything and everything, just as long as i vibe with the sound. who's your favorite artist!!!!!!! mine is red vox!!!!!! they're a smaller band i found through the lead singers twitch streams and ive loved them for years now :D oh and what're some hobbies you have :0? sorry if this is a lot of questions im just excited!!!!

- 🫀🦷

i didn't end up going! i got too stoned and rescheduled for later this week haha (>_<) i actually don't drive myself i get the bus everywhere but i get that not everywhere has decent public transport, im just lucky enough to live in sydney. i usually walk medium sized doggies like pitbulls and staffies :3 my dog is a little dog he's a pug and he's a very sweet boy he would love u <3

im soooo excited for pizza ive been waiting since i ran out of money last week, i get paid in a couple days and im so excited

that sounds fun tho! i dont do much most days either i usually just smoke and watch youtube videos and thats abt it hahaha. fuck yeah good job on your floor!!!!!! that kinda stuff takes so so much effort im proud of u cutie <3

woohoo!!! twinsies for real!!!!! and that's okay sugar as long as i can flirt back :p

musicwise i listen to lots of punk subgenres like folk punk and hardcore punk i like green day, ajj, she/her/hers, harley poe and pansy division, i like post hardcore like thursday, early mcr, circa survive, and saosin, 90s-early 2000s emo, i like metal too i really like mayhem, cattle decapitation, cannibal corpse, xavleg, dying fetus, ayat, and suicide silence <33333 those r probably my faves but ill listen to anything someone recommends so pls let me know your other favourites!!! ive heard of red vox ill make sure to check them out now!

[good-enemy]

RULES: answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions.

I was tagged by @ace0clubs (thank you!!)

coke or pepsi: coke

disney or dreamworks: dreamworks has objectively better movies but unfortunately i am a disney girlie

coffee or tea: coffee, tea tastes like sadness

books or movies: Both tbh but books are easier to concentrate on so we'll go with books

windows or mac: Windows

dc or marvel: same as question 2 honestly lmao dc is objectively better but i just love marvel <3

x-box or playstation: neither

dragon age or mass effect: idk what either of them are

night owl or early riser: permanently exhausted pigeon gang rise up

cards or chess: i like both but we'll go with cards, theres more variation in what u can play & i am not very good at chess

chocolate or vanilla: ice cream ? if its ice cream then vanilla everything else then chocolate

vans or converse: both are cool but i am a converse girlie

Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar: whomst

fluff or angst: angst if it has a happy ending

beach or forest: Forest

dogs or cats: dogs (but i also love cats <3)

clear skies or rain: clear skies please god as a british person please god clear skies

cooking or eating out: eating out is so fun <3 and i can just about cook beans on toast so yknow

spicy food or mild food: spiceeee

halloween/samhain or solstice/yule/christmas: merry crisis

would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: A little too hot

if you could have a superpower, what would it be: teleportation, how much easier would travelling be ? no airports, no accomodation, no transport, would never have to drive or take the bus or whatever, also whenever i wanted something from the kitchen and couldnt be arsed moving i could just teleport in and out OHHH You could teleport into concerts and shit

animation or live action: either i guess but i prob watch more live action stuff

paragon or renegade: hm? renegade by paramore only song ever?

baths or showers: Shower

team cap or team ironman: they were literally both right their arguments were not mutually exclusive

fantasy or sci-fi: Fantasy

do you have three or four favourite quotes, if so what are they: probably but i cant remember them off the top of my head lmao

youtube or netflix: YouTube

harry potter or percy jackson: ive never read/watched percy jackson but percy jackson wins by default

when do you feel accomplished: when my family are proud of me

star wars or star trek: I havent seen either but i know more about star wars also baby yoda c3po and r2d2 my beloveds

paperback books or hardcover books: paperback, hardcover is way too painful (i wanna preorder the button house archives so bad but the only physical option is hardback ? why)

to live in a world without literature or without music?: Without literature, sorry to all my favourite books but if i went even one day without music i might actually die

who was the last person to make you laugh? uhhh probably either a post on here or a post on instagram

city or countryside? city unfortunately its what im used to and the countryside just has way too many sheep staring into my soul for my comfort

favorite chips? this prob means crisps so im gonna go with mccoys ridged thai sweet chili chicken they are literally divine but bc im annoying like that i will also tell u the best chips are mccains for at home wetherspoons for eating out

pants or dresses? Pants

libraries or museums? museums (i always get overwhelmed by the options in a library and end up reading the most random shitty book ever or something ive already read lmao)

character driven stories or plot driven stories? plot

bookmarks or folding pages? folding the pages down i can never remember where i put bookmarks

Dream job?: *ideal* job is something to do with psychological research but my actual dream job is author/actor/director/singer (yes all of them at the same time lmfao. im gonna write direct and act in my own tv show and there will be a musical episode or 10)

What gives you comfort? music, my family and nice food :)

What are you currently having brain-rot levels of interest over? ghosts, good omens, starkid/hatchetfield, hozier and maisie peters (my brain is rotting quite severely atm)

(added question) What is your current favourite song?

absolutely no chance im tagging 45 people so i will just tag @wtnytv @colifower @bodybetters @cascadeoceanwave @deweyduck @antoniosvivaldi @everysummers @sylvielaufeyz @antlerqueer @taoargents @finalgirlsidney @cobbbvanth @barrowsteeth and @cmorris-art and call it a day ahaha