#taking it felt dangerous but I thought I was overreacting

[laurel-michaela-connor]

I decided to skip dinner with my family tomorrow. It’s both Easter and my birthday. I already said many times I don’t want to do anything for my birthday, but my parents are roping me into doing something anyway because of the holiday. Today my dad basically got very frustrated verging on angry with me because he thinks I’m not happy enough. He demanded I cheer up. My sister was asking if I got invited to her sister in law’s wedding or if I could babysit her daughter. I said I didn’t mind skipping to babysit because I barely know the couple and don’t really want to go to the wedding. She said I’m being unbelievably rude and twisted my words to say I was disrespecting her husband and don’t care about him.

I know if I go I’ll be unhappy. If I don’t go, my sister and father will say I’m being a brat and I’m immature and rude and whatever else. But I truly just don’t want to spend the evening with people who don’t like me. Say whatever you will about loving someone and liking them being two different things. They don’t like me. They wish I was different than I am. I’m sick of people getting mad at me on my birthday and I just don’t want to deal with it. So I’m staying home.

[fallatyourfeet]

No Negotiations (Thomas Shelby x Reader - One shot)

Summary: Tommy thought he had been very careful keeping his relationship with YN a secret, but no, his number one enemy had discovered you. And these things rarely playout well in the world of the Peaky Blinders.

Word count: 1807

Warnings: Quite a few F bombs and quite a bit of angst. Maybe it ends well, maybe it doesn't.

A/N: This fic was a request and it's been a long time coming. I'm so happy to finally post something again.

Gif: I don't know who this Gif belongs too, but I'd love to give credit to the creator if anyone knows.

Please feel free to send me a message/comment/ask, I would love to know what you think.

If you like this, please feel free to visit my blog and take a look around! You can find my masterlist in my bio.

It was a particularly complicated time in Tommy’s life. There were a lot of different things going down. Dangerous things. And it most definitely was not a great time to be dating anyone. But YN wasn’t just ‘anyone’. To Tommy, she had very quickly and very unexpectantly, become everything. For the past year, it was YN that kept him sane during the whole fracture between his family. And with Luca Changretta still plotting his revenge against every single member of the Shelby clan, he thanked God that he had kept her completely separated from his family and business life. She was his escape. With her, his existence was simpler, uncomplicated. Cherished. Every secret second he stole by her side recharged him, settled him in ways he could never have imagined. Every night spent warming her bed gave him hours of blissful dreamless sleep. So, when he looked up from the ringside during the Goliath vs Bonnie Gold match to see her seat empty, he found himself unable to breathe.

Tommy started the night in good spirits, just happy knowing YN was there. Even if she was sitting anonymously across the opposite side of the hall, finding his thoughts already caught amongst the quiet moments he would steal away with her at the end of the night. When Arthur grew concerned of the men in Goliath’s corner, he urged him not to worry, to calm down and enjoy the match. And even when one of the men disappeared from ringside and Arthur felt the need to investigate, Tommy thought it was his older brother’s paranoia taking hold. But when Arthur didn’t return before the second man in Goliath’s corner slipped into the crowd, Tommy instantly found his stomach in knots, his eyes gravitating to YN’s seat.

It was empty.

Maybe he was overreacting. Maybe she had slipped away to the ladies. Or maybe she found herself completely disinterested in boxing and left to wait for him at their hotel room. Or maybe the growing knot in his stomach told him something much more unthinkable was taking place. Jumping from his seat, Tommy wasted no more time, easily slipping through the crowd, following the same path as Arthur.

It was unnervingly quiet walking down the passage and into the back rooms of the venue, Tommy barely registering the excitement of the crowd as it faded into the background. Only interested in the silence around him. But it was too much. Bellowing out both YN and Arthur’s name, his voice echoed and bounced off the tiled walls around him, his call answered by a gun shot. Tommy’s blood ran cold. The deafening sound vibrated through every cell in his body as if it had pierced his very flesh and Tommy couldn’t escape the hollow feeling that YN was somehow tangled in the mess.

Tommy moved desperately in and out of doorways in the direction of the gunshot, finding nothing. Until he turned the corner into a dimly lit room. But there was no mistaking what he saw, and he knew the scene before him would be forever burnt to his memory, causing him instantaneous regret. Arthur hunched over, visibly shaken as he clutched at his blood-stained neck, working hard to regain his breath. But he was alive. And beside him lay one of the men from Goliath’s corner, in a pool of his own blood, his face half blown away. But it was YN. Standing in that very same room, a room she was never supposed to be in, that had the regret burning like fire in his throat. Backed up against the cold tiled wall her whole body was trembling, arms outstretched as her hands clamped around Arthur’s pistol; knuckles white.

Tommy stepped into the room, startling her. Terrified, her trembling body swung around to face him, waving Arthur’s pistol unsteadily in his direction. All her features were overcome with fear, drained and washed out, his regret now burning bitter in his mouth. Moving towards her, he outstretched his hands, recognition dawning across her face. And when he whispered her name, she fell apart.

Simultaneously, the pistol slipped from her fingers, as her body slid down the wall, Tommy reaching her before she hit the floor, cradling her head, whispering against her ear, “It’s okay… you’re okay. I’ve got you.” Shaking his head, he found it hard to keep control of his voice, guilt ripping through his words, “I’m sorry… I’m so fucking sorry… I didn’t want this for you… I…” Tommy felt sick seeing her this way. Because of him, she had taken a man’s life, she didn’t deserve that kind of burden and there was nothing he could do to take it back.

“Tommy.” Arthur’s hoarse voice broke through his stupor. Looking across to his brother, he was no longer hunched over, but was instead standing before him, a steady stream of blood running from a gash to his neck. Speaking again, he gestured to the body on the floor, his words rough and strained, “I don’t know who the hell she is, Tommy, but he was tryin’ to drag her out the fuckin’ door.” Running blood-stained hands through his hair, he rubbed the back of his head, “I ripped her from his grip, but he fuckin’ got me Tommy, he had me… I’d be dead. She saved my fuckin’ arse.”

Tommy shuddered, not even allowing himself to think about what might have happened if Arthur didn’t reach her in time, all while he was too busy ignoring his brother’s concerns. Sudden gratitude spilled from his mouth, “Thank you, Arthur. You were right… I didn’t listen, but you were fucking right.”

Arthur crouched down, and whispered as if there were people in the room who could listen, “Who is she Tommy, and what does Changretta want with her?”

Surely the fact that he was on the ground cradling YN was explanation enough, but Tommy answered anyway, “She’s my girlfriend… I love her… that’s the all reason he needs.” And it was those words as they left his lips, that brought about an instant and upsetting decision.

Luca Changretta was no longer a threat. He had been dealt with in the most final way. Until the moment Arthur unloaded a bullet into his head, Changretta thought both Arthur and YN were dead, leaving Tommy’s exit plan for the mafia boss sailing through without a hitch. But there was still one thing left for Tommy to do. Something that tore at his insides, just thinking about it. But there was no other choice.

It was necessary.

Staring at YN’s front door, he took a deep breath, unable to put it off any longer. Lifting the iron knocker, he tapped it against the timber and cleared his throat, waiting for the sound of her footsteps and yet, hoping not to hear them. Never had he waited at her door with such trepidation, any stress or worries usually melted away the moment his eyes caught sight of her house. Always far too confident that he’d never been seen. God, he had been so fucking stupid.

YN opened the door with one of her breathtaking smiles, she was not going to make this easy. Fuck, he was going to miss those smiles. Burning the image to memory, he went to speak, but she leaned forward and planted a kiss to his lips, her sweet voice announcing, “Thomas Shelby… you’re late, you’re never late.” Tommy inhaled deeply, knowing that soon enough he wouldn’t be able to recall the sound of her voice, when what he really wanted was to wake up to it every single morning.  

Internally nodding, Tommy realised she was right, he had been putting this meeting off all afternoon, and when she stepped aside to let him come in, he found his feet cemented to her doorstep, his voice lost upon his lips. Seeing his hesitation, her features suddenly clouded with apprehension and concern. And it tore him to shreds. “What’s wrong, Tommy? What happened?” Grabbing his hand, she pulled him inside, sitting them both down in the parlour, “Tell me, what’s going on?”

Tommy didn’t want to be inside her house, he wanted to drop the news and leave, but she deserved more, so much more. Chewing on his lip, he inhaled deeply and cleared his throat, working hard to keep his voice convincing, “YN… I… I can’t be with you anymore.” YN jumped from the seat as if he’d slapped her. Tommy’s eyes shifted to the floor, concentrating on a scratch in the timber beside his foot, “It’s not safe anymore… people know who you are now… I… I’d never survive if something happened to you... I’d never forgive myself.”

“Tommy!” A few seconds of silence followed before she called his name again, “Tommy… you need to look at me!” This was not a good idea, no good could come from seeing her face, but how could he deny her? After everything she had given him over the past year. All those stolen moments and blissful memories… memories that would keep him functioning during all the lonely nights that would follow without her.

Lifting his head, he kept his gaze unfocused, worried her expression might destroy his resolve. Not that it mattered, her words and tone conveyed everything. She was furious. But she didn’t raise her voice once. “No… No Tommy.” Her comment snapped his eyes into focus and the determination he saw; on her face; in her posture, it took him by surprise.

Shifting in his seat, he couldn’t think, couldn’t stop the internal wall of his will from crumbling, with every word she spoke. “I won’t let you do this. I could die crossing the road today. I could get sick tomorrow and die next week. I could die giving birth or fall asleep and never wake up.” Drawing a breath, she shook her head, it was barely noticeable, “People die every day, Tommy, there’s nothing we can do about it, but I’m not going to let you give me up.”

Knealing down, her hands enveloped his face, demanding his attention, “I’m not going to miss out on a life with you, how ever long or short that may be… Do you not think I’m terrified of losing you too?”

Tommy shook his head, but his wall of resolve was gone, and he knew the words he spoke were no more than white noise, “My life… it’s dangerous… Just being with me is-”

Losing patience, she cut his white noise short with unyielding hands, refusing to let him look away. Her eyes were fierce. And her decision was final. There would be no negotiations. “Just shut up Tommy, stop talking. I love you. And I know you love me…. I’m not stupid, I know the risk I’m taking. But for you, I’m willing to take it.”

[kyokutsu-sama]

Headcanons

"How they apologize after an argument"

A/n: I remember of writing some headcanons with the same topic for the Bleach captains but now I'm going to write the same topic for Black Clover captains. I'm so in love with them❤️

_____________________________

Yami:

Yami can be all brute and intimidating but he also recognizes when he messes up and regrets it, especially when he knows he hurt you in some way.

Sometimes he is stubborn and this becomes an obstacle for both of you when you're trying to solve something, he wants to be the master of reason just because he's the captain and thinks he can do things alone. This makes you believe that he's being arrogant, putting you aside like that.

(But the fact is that he actually just tried to protect you so that you wouldn't do anything that would put you in danger)

"Baby, please don't overreact, I'm just--" "Don't talk to me until you change your attitude" You replied, walking past him without even looking at his face

He starts to realize that you're taking the silent treatment too seriously and starts doing all kinds of things to get your attention, which don't lead to anything.

He thinks you're thinking about breaking up with him and this makes him drink twice as much, which leads him to arrive at the hq more drunk than usual.

You start to realize this and you start to worry too, even if you don't admit it.

On one of those nights he arrives at the hq very drunk and sees you in the living room and hugs you from behind, staying like that for a moment while you feel his heavy sighs against the crook of your neck.

"I'm sorry if I was hard on you, I just want to protect you. Please don't give me the silent treatment, it breaks my little heart" He whispered against your ear and you sighed before turning to face him "I accept your apology, you dramatic" You slapped his chest and smiled

This man was much more relieved after you forgave him. It was as if his little heart regenerated.

Fuegoleon:

I'm sure if you two argued Mereoleona would take action and beat him up because she's on your side🤭

Sometimes Fuegoleon is too serious and too strict, more than he should be and that stresses you out.

"I'm not going to have this conversation with you again, do as you wish" You left his office, angry "Y/n, wait, I just--" He got up from the chair but you slammed the door

He doesn't want to lose you nor does he want to see you upset with him but he also doesn't want to put pressure on you.

"Mereoleona is gonna kill me if she finds out about this" His first thought

He then calms down and choose to give you space, however, he always wants to know how you are and that's why he orders the servants to deliver flowers to you and also order that the meals be taken to your room.

You recognized that all that princess treatment was Fuegoleon's work to apologize.

However, one day he went to the room where you had been sleeping these days and sat on the mattress next to you and try sorted things out.

"Honey, I'm sorry if I spoke that way. It's been so much that sometimes I don't even know how to separate my personal self from my professional self and with that I ended up hurting you"He confessed with his head down but you hugged him "It's okay, love, we all make mistakes. I accept your apology and thank you for the flowers, by the way" You thanked him and he smiled hugging you

The captain of the Crimson Lions felt much better and promised you and himself that he would change.

William :

Seriously, I don't see how there could be an argument with this man because he's so cute and so gentle.Aghhh...I want a man like him now😫

But if by chance you and him disagree about something and it gets serious, It will be very difficult for him to deal with the situation.

"William, I'm sorry but this matter is going too far" You left the room "Y/n, come here, please listen..." William went to the door but you closed it and he sighed, feeling helpless

He refuses to see you walk past him and not talk to him, he refuses to see you doing your life and not being able to be by your side. It's as if you two became strangers and that touches his heart.

Even if you didn't want to clarify things yet, he uses his magic to create beautiful bouquets of flowers and leave them on your bedroom door, just like the captain above. You can't hold back your smile at the cute action every morning when you come across the flowers right at your feet

One day, you were at the bedroom window watching the group of the magic knights of the golden dawn enter through the front door and William also accompanied them. It had been a while since you two spoke, but you just wanted him to walk through the bedroom door so you two could talk.

And to your surprise, he did.

"Y/n, I came here to resolve things between us, I can't be without you. Please forgive me if I said something I shouldn't have said" He confessed with his melancholy eyes fixed on yours "Oh William, I forgive you. Come here" You hugged him giving in to his bright eyes and how cute he looked

You couldn't stay upset with him and neither could he with you. Everything was fine now and William was grateful to have you back just like you.

Nozel :

The way he spends his life idolizing the name of the Silvas and royalty is sometimes tiring for you. One day you have a conversation that goes a little sideways because he's being too proud again.

"You know what? Stay there with your pride and your fucking royalty. I lost my appetite" You threw your napkin on the table and hurriedly left the dining room "Y/n, come back to the table, we're not done" Nozel got up but you ignored him

Nozel knows he went too far, he wasn't supposed to be like this and sometimes he found himself being too proud which led to some arguments.

However, he knew he couldn't act like that towards you because he loved you too much and didn't want to keep you away from him. In response to this, he told all the servants to watch over you and to give you expensive gifts that he bought.

You couldn't help but smile at his actions. The fact that he sent someone to look after you and gave you valuable things made you think it was cute of him.

Yes, he was overprotective, even if he didn't admit it to anyone but himself. However, you could see that through his actions and there was nothing he could do to hide it from you.

You were sitting in the living room by the fireplace and he came into the room looking at you and you at him. There was a certain tension in the air at that moment.

"We need to talk, I... I think it's time we sort this out" He confessed but you didn't say anything until he got to the part that you wanted to hear. "I want to apologize, I know I let my pride speak too loud and that hurt you"He said and you smiled, seeing that he got to exactly the part you wanted "My dear Noble, I accept your apology but control your pride. Doesn't suit royalty" You used his usual words and he raised an eyebrow at you

Nozel promised to do so, so that situations like those wouldn't happen again.

[momoswifee]

Rising

Pairing: Mina x fem!reader

Synopsis: After receiving the call from the hospital, Mina rushes to you. Once she's there she finds you unconscious. You had been hit by a drunk driver and were now in a coma.

Warnings: Drink-driving, car accidents, the reader is in a coma, trying to go for angst (let's hope it is indeed angst), death, death talks, overthinking, grief, the start of isolation (?) not sure, maybe abandonment issues.

A/n: this was actually hard for me to write, I never actually wrote angst so this is a first. Every time I tried to write angst it was always really small so this was a change! I'm sorry for any grammar/vocab mistakes, and if you have any notes or criticism I have my inbox open :)

w/c: 3183

pt1 - pt2 - pt3

Mina had never been interested in taking a part in any horror movie projects, she thought herself a versatile actress of course, but the opportunity had never arrived and if she was being honest, she was grateful for that as many would consider her a scared cat. She never thought, however, that her life would become one.

She doesn’t really remember what happened after she got to the hospital, one moment she was at Sana’s house gushing about the ring she had found, and the other she was rushing through the hospital doors looking for you. All she remembers is being guided to a waiting room and the excruciating time she had to wait to finally get the news you had been hit by a drunk driver.

Since then, she hadn’t left your side, she had barely eaten or slept. She couldn’t bring herself to leave your side, even in sleep. 

You were supposedly well for the time being, you had undergone surgery and the doctor had called you a “fighter”, but due to the brain haemorrhage you had sustained because of a hit to the head during the accident, you were now in a coma. 

“Here, you need to eat,” Jihyo said, putting one of the cafeteria sandwiches in front of her. Ever since she had been released, she had been stopping by as much as she could, almost always with Jeongyeon because of her new impairment. “How’s she doing?”

“Same as always…” She sighs. “How’s your arm?”

“Eh, I’ll be alright, doctor’s said it’ll heal up fine.” Jihyo sits next to her, showing off her cast. “Any updates?”

The doctors had been reassuring, telling her that there were positive possible outcomes and that you were responding well to treatment. “Well they have been positive, they said that she’s reacting well, but that we should be aware that there are other outcomes that could happen.” 

As if on cue, one of your doctors got into the room. “Good morning, how are we doing today?” She says, calmly, as she goes over to you to check your vitals. “Her vitals are stable, everything seems to be just as it was yesterday.” She takes off her glasses, looking straight at Mina. “It has been two weeks, there’s little we can do now except wait. You should go home, take a break” 

She couldn’t believe it had been two weeks already, it felt like it was just yesterday. 

“I can stay until you get back, I’m sure her parents are on their way as well.” Jihyo reassures Mina, encouraging her to go home and take care of herself. 

She saw a familiar face in the hallway, she couldn’t decide if she wanted to run away or run to him, scream that he had taken everything from her, chastise him for his reckless behaviour, tell him that because of his disgusting vice, he had put such a beautiful life in danger, he had put the love of her life in a coma. 

She ran. 

She ran to her car, she couldn’t breathe. 

Who was she kidding, she couldn’t face him, she could barely face your parents, your friends, her friends. This was an overreaction, your doctors were optimistic, and despite the circumstances, she didn’t have to worry about you leaving her just yet. You had promised her you wouldn’t. 

She was afraid, she felt like she couldn’t breathe half of the time. The noise inside the hospital didn’t help, doors swinging open, machines beeping, doctors walking in at any time inside every room. She didn’t even have time to let the fear set in, to let it marinade and let her think and rationalize it. She was also afraid to do that as well, because she didn’t want to believe that she had any reason to feel that immense fear. 

❂

After her first night at the hospital, the only person Mina wanted to talk to was her older cousin. She remembers how she was always around Momo when they were both children and how she protected her from other kids. She felt like she needed that protection then, she needed her older cousin with her. So Momo, after Mina had called her, quickly moved into your shared house. She would be there to take care of Otis, go to the hospital every day to make sure Mina was taking care of herself, take care of the house, and just be there for Mina.

“...yes mom I’ve slept, I’m taking Otis for a walk now, Momo had to go to the city today, so I’m taking him to Jeongyeon.” She said as she tried to get Otis to stop running around, trying to put on his leash so that they could finally go on a walk and as soon as she’s out the door, she felt like she could breathe again with Otis excitedly walking alongside her. She couldn’t help but smile at his excitement, she felt like she should’ve done better by him, be more present, but you needed her. 

As she was walking down the road, she could feel the sense of dread rush through her. She was going to face Jeongyeon. How could she go to her house and pretend everything was fine? The idea of going there and facing one of the most important people in your life almost made her sick. You were unconscious in a bed and she was about to go meet your best friend. 

She didn’t know what to do, she was helpless. As soon as she got the news she ran to you, she stood by you, she couldn’t sleep or eat, she just wanted to make sure you were ok, but she also knew that your health and your stability weren’t something that was granted. 

Mina had never seen your father cry. He was someone who had always tried to bring joy into every situation. He was a constant in your family, the rock. Everyone always knew they could count on him to make everything better. You took after him a lot. She couldn’t recognize him now, it broke her heart to see him like this. He would sit by your side, gently holding your hand with his shaky one to his mouth, kissing it, while whispering sweet nothing's, trying to soothe you while trying his best not to cry or move too suddenly in a way it could somehow hurt you. During that moment, all she could think about was how unfair life was. You were in a coma, Jihyo had a broken arm, but the drunk driver who had caused all of this had got off with little scratches and a sore body from the impact. 

“Your mom is going to be ok you know that right?” Mina whispers to the dog as she sits next to him, letting him rest a little. She knows he can’t understand her, but he looks at her and rests his head on her thigh, and for a second, Mina lets herself believe that he did understand her and is hoping as well for your swift recovery. 

She tried to shake those thoughts off for a moment, watching as the trees surrounding her cast a dark shadow over them, despite not having much light, the quiet and the darker ambiance gave her peace of mind, she was at ease. 

“Hey buddy!” Otis runs towards Jeongyeon as soon as he lays his eyes on her. “Who’s excited to have a sleepover, uh?” 

“Thank you for looking after him,” Mina says, not knowing exactly what to do as she watched the older girl kneel to pet Otis. 

“Yeah, of course,” She reassures. “How is she doing? Any progress?”

They go over to the steps on the porch, letting Otis explore Jeongyeon’s backyard. “She’s fragile, you know? Right now, the doctors say she’s stabilizing and that they’re optimistic, but there’s still a long road.” 

“That’s good, I’ll go over tomorrow, I’ll take Jihyo.” They both get silent. They don’t know what to say to each other exactly. “She’ll pull through”, “She’s strong!”, “Everything will turn out fine!” were useless for them, it didn’t feel right to utter those words to each other, so they sat in silence. 

“Are you ok?”

She wasn’t. She was everything but. She wanted to scream. She wanted you to wake up. Every time she had to wake you up was like torture to her, the idea of disrupting your sleep wasn’t something she liked, so if she really had to wake you up, she would do it in the most gentle way she could. Right now, all she wanted was for you to wake up, she didn’t particularly care about the how. 

After she left, she no longer had Otis to occupy her mind, all she had was the sounds of the bird above her and her bustling thoughts. She wanted to block them out but once she got to her car, to go back to you, the silence became deafening, she was finally alone with the fearful thoughts about you. 

Thankfully, as she thought when she went to pick it up, her phone rang loudly through the car, cutting the silence

“Mina speaking.” She clears her throat, getting rid of the lump that was starting to form as she thought about possible outcomes. 

“Miss Myoui, Miss L/n has suffered a seizure and is now on the operating block, You should come as soon as possible.”

❂

The doctors had told them they should notify anyone important, should bring relatives, important people in your life to the hospital. There was nothing they could do.They had discussed all the possibilities, what to do with your body, what were your choices, what would you had done if you were awake. Everything past that was a blur to Mina. She didn’t even listen to everything the doctor had said about organ donation, it was unbearable, and she unfairly let that information fall onto your parent's shoulder for the time being. 

She sat by your side, like so many other nights. How did it come to this? She didn’t know what to feel, what to say, so she did what she had done since your first day there, she sat by your side, held your hand, and hoped for you to wake up. 

“Mina?” 

She couldn’t move. It had been decided. Not by her choice, she could barely move. They had found a document you had drafted that specified your wishes. Neither she nor your parents could or would oppose your choice. 

Your Dad gently places his hands on Mina's shoulder, but she, startled, shakes it off, scared he would take her away from you so quickly. 

“Mina...”

“Just...,” she starts, not sure of what to say. "I just need to hold her" she finally lets out in a broken whisper. “Please.”

She is left alone with you and finds herself getting up and laying her head on your chest, as gently as she can as not to hurt you, just wanting to hear your heartbeat instead of the constant beeping to her left. She knows this isn't what you would've wanted. You would've wanted her last memory of her touching you to be of your soft mornings, not of your stiff limbs. You wouldn't have wanted her last image of you to be of your body lying motionless on a hospital bed. But she still feels the need to go over to you, to trace mindless shapes on your arms, to kiss your hands, to hold you one last time. She wants to keep you close but can't bear to look at your face, knowing that if she does, everything will become real. So she keeps her hand interlocked with yours. Her ear, not touching but near enough to your chest for her to hear your faint heartbeat. 

Finally, her legs start to give out, she feels like the ground had been swept from beneath her. She sits and takes your hands in hers. Without thinking, she looks to her left and is faced with your closed eyes. You looked so peaceful. Tears start to run down her face, hitting your clothes.  

"I'm sorry" 

You're still motionless in your bed. 

She brings your hand to her lips and gently kisses your knuckles, just as she usually did in the mornings when she had to wake you up. 

"Please" she tries. Mina's face screws up as she tries to take in a breath. "You promised you would always come back" she whimpers into your hand. "Please" 

She knew this was for the better. You weren’t able to do anything. You couldn’t breathe on your own, you couldn’t think, you couldn’t feel. You wanted this to be your final act of kindness. 

"Mina," Your mother says, laying her hand on her shoulder. 

"No" She says, her voice coming out muffled by your hand. 

"The doctors needs to take her." she tries, as gently as she possibly can, trying to get her to let go. 

"I can take her there" she weekly says, afraid of the thought of letting you go. "She likes it when I hold her hand, I can't let go." 

"I-" she tries, a sob threatening to come out, your father silently crying at the scene in front of him.  

"She can hold her hand until we get there." A voice suddenly says. Another day, Mina would've turned and looked to see who it was. But right now, she couldn't tear her eyes away from you. 

"You can hold her hand while we bring her in, ok?" the gentle voice tells her as it’s owner proceeds with others to ready your body for transportation. 

Mina gets up, her hand still clutching yours. When she almost falls to her knees, knees buckling, they hold her up. 

She walks with you the whole way until she is stopped. 

"They need to take her now ok?" Your mom tries, her hand gently laying on her arm. 

Mina looks up from you for the first time. She looks at everyone, confused, like she couldn't understand what she had said, not knowing how to answer back. A hand is held out for her, hoping for Mina to take it so that they can take your body away. 

"It's ok." she says once she feels Mina's hand in hers. She pulls Mina in slowly, her arms wrapping around her frame. 

She watches you leave. 

Momo went to Mina as soon as she heard what had happened. When she got there, who she saw wasn’t the grown and confident woman she had watched her cousin become. It was the little girl who used to cling to her arm when they went to the playground, too afraid to be on her own in an unknown world. The look of confusion on her face when they had told her they had to take your body and separate them made her sick. She looked like a helpless child. She guides Mina to the car, she’s not saying anything. She has a dazed look in her eyes. She drives her home in silence.

As soon as she’s inside the bedroom, Mina seems to notice that she had been holding a bag. She opens it and inside she finds your rings and your glasses. The rim was broken. She wipes off the dust that had been collecting on the lens, folds them, and places them on your bedside table. She lays down and holds onto your pillow, quickly falling asleep.  

❂

“It was a lovely speech, we’re so sorry for your loss.”

Mina didn’t know how much longer she could stand there and hearing sorry’s from everyone you had ever known. While giving the speech, she didn’t feel like herself, there was this feeling of being watched by herself as if she was outside her own body. During the speech she felt the words run out of her mouth, she doesn’t remember writing them down, she doesn’t remember thinking about them, it all just spilled out. During the ceremony, she could feel Jihyo’s eyes burn into her, she hadn’t had the courage to face her, face any of your family and friends. She couldn’t face anything that was slightly related to you, even being in the same room as Otis was painful enough, being in the house you both had shared was a nightmare. That had a quick solution, however, she had moved back into her old apartment.

“Mina,” She couldn’t move. She knew she would have to face them eventually, but she thought, foolishly, that, maybe, some calls here and there would suffice. “Thank you for your words.”

She nods. She can’t bear to face them. “It’s nothing. She deserved more.”

“We would love to have you over,” Your father starts, slowly, knowing that Mina might not be ready as for now. “Sometimes talking helps, that’s what I’ve been told.” As soon as she met his eyes, she felt like her knees were about to give out from underneath her, she quickly grabbed onto Momo, not wanting to appear weak. His eyes were just like yours, even had the same smile lines around them, the same mole at the corner of your left eye. 

“We should.” She says, trying to convince herself that she would really accept and go to his house, to have a warm meal, and talk about you, about how much of a gift you were, about how you were taken away from them too soon. 

Just thinking about all that made her sick. 

She was grateful for Momo, she didn’t make small talk, and she didn’t hold it against her when she made no effort to talk or interact. 

After finally arriving home, she went straight to the shower, she wanted out of those clothes, they felt suffocating. As soon as the water hit her shoulders, she could feel herself decompress. The warm water running down her face, down her body, was all she needed. 

Once out of the shower, she searched for something to wear, it had been getting colder. Rummaging through the clothes proved to not be the best idea, she found your university hoodie. The same hoodie she had folded weeks prior as she was organizing the clothes and coincidentally had found the ring box inside. She shakily opens the box, and inside still sits the most beautiful ring she had ever seen. You thought it was smart to leave it at her old apartment since she barely went there. 

She doesn’t know how long she stood there, just staring at it, but Momo came worriedly to her room calling her name, so she assumed she had been there for a while. When she locks eyes with Momo, she can’t control the sob that wrecks through her, collapsing on the floor right after. 

“She’s gone” she whimpers, feeling Momo’s arms circle her frame. “I lost her”

The older girl doesn’t know what to say, seeing her younger cousin so heartbroken, so lost, so unlike the shy joyous girls she knew, she felt helpless. “Let’s get you to bed, ok?” 

“Please don’t leave” She whispers as she sees Momo start to leave the room. 

“I’m only getting some water, I’ll be right back you won’t even notice ok?” She quickly says, trying to be as reassuring as possible. Sleep came faster than her, soon she was asleep in the bed you had once shared.

[wildflowerblurbs]

A Painful Step Towards Healing | Isaac Rhoades

Isaac Rhoades x GN! Reader

CW: mentions of past abuse/unhealthy relationships, trauma caused by abuse/unhealthy relationships, yelling, arguments, hurt/comfort

-

Trauma isn’t a simple thing, no matter how much you wished it was.

You’re in a committed relationship with the man who gave you a second chance at life. You wake up in his arms without the fear of having your belongings thrown out by the landlord before kicking you out for not paying rent on time. You eat your meals with him without uncertainty of when your next meal will be or needing to ration out your food to last weeks at a time. You live your life knowing that you have a future with him. You not only have a family with him, but a family that loves you.

You’ve escaped the hell that you were living, so why? 

Why are you currently hyperventilating on your shared bathroom floor? 

Why can’t you stop the tears that are blurring your vision and staining the carpet below you?

Why couldn’t you keep your composure when the man that you love so much lost his temper and raised his voice at you?

Isaac is not my father. He’d never hurt me. Isaac is not my father. He’d never hurt me. 

You replayed these phrases in your head like a mantra, scolding yourself for even needing to make that clarification to yourself. Isaac had been having a stressful day. People snap sometimes and it’s ok. It’s ok. It’s ok. 

It was your fault anyway. You’d insisted on having dinner with him when he’d told you that he’d skip dinner to continue working on a particularly hard case he’d gotten recently. You kept pushing when you shouldn’t have. It was your selfishness that got you into this situation. It was your fault. 

Perhaps that’s why you retreated into the bathroom after promptly apologizing for everything yet nothing at all. You weren’t even sure of what you’d said to him. As soon as you felt the panic spike through your body, you’d excused yourself as quickly as you possibly could. 

It took everything within you to stay quiet as the fears and feelings you often experienced as a child rushed back to you. Issac knew that your childhood wasn’t the happiest but you rarely discussed the details. You didn’t want him to feel like he needed to be careful around you. He always looked so fond when he talked about his mother’s traditions or his father’s teachings and you didn’t want to take that away from him. Truthfully, you weren’t even triggered by his experiences. His parent’s love for him had nothing to do with the unhealthy love your parents had given you. There was no reason why it’d bother you. There’s no reason why anything Isaac did would incite these feelings within you. Or at least you thought. 

This wasn’t even the first time he’d raised his voice at you. He’d been pretty agitated when you insisted on pursuing a relationship with him despite the dangers. He’d been harsh to you before when talking about his past was still considered to be none of your business. There was no reason as to why his anger was affecting you so much now and you hated yourself for reacting this way. 

Here you were, spiraling with thoughts of self-hatred and fear. 

Will he leave me if I’m too annoying? 

I should’ve left him alone, now he hates me.

He hates me. He hates me. He hates—

A sudden urgent succession of knocks on the door interrupts your thoughts. The door opens before you’re able to compose yourself or tell him to give you a moment. Telling by the worried look of his face and the speed at which the door opens, you figure that he’d been knocking for longer than you had realized. 

Time seemed to stop the moment your tear-filled eyes locked with his. You wanted to crawl into a hole from how mortified and embarrassed you felt at being caught for overreacting to such a small thing. 

You quickly get up from the floor, wiping the tears from your eyes with shaky hands. 

“I apologize for barging in. You weren’t responding and I… I was worried something had happened to you. It seemed like you were struggling to breathe; I didn’t know what to do.”

Before he has the chance to take your shaky hands into his and inspect your current state, you move away.

“Y-you don’t need to apologize. I’m sorry for causing such a—“ 

“No, I am the one who needs to apologize. I shouldn’t have taken out my frustration on you when you were only trying to care for me. I should’ve thought about how my words would affect you. Please don’t ignore your own feelings. You more than have the right to feel upset right now. It’s only natural that you would be.” 

Shock was the only explanation for your sudden collapse. The shock of hearing the words you’d always wanted to hear from those that had hurt you from the one person who had only given you love destroyed the last bit of composure you had. 

Isaac joins you on the floor, bringing you close to his chest and holding you in the warmest embrace you’ve ever experienced. His hand rests in your hair, stroking it gently as you cry in his arms. His case didn’t matter right now, nor did anything else that could possibly require him to leave your side in this moment. He’d needed you so many times in the past. It was his turn to return the favor. 

“I- I was so scared,” you managed to speak in between sobs. Your hands found themselves holding onto his shirt, finding security in the firmness of your grip of him. 

Your actions only made Isaac pull you closer, “It’s ok, everything is going to be ok.” He lifts your chin, his eyes meeting yours, “I will do everything in my power to make sure of it.” 

This wasn’t the first time you’ve heard such words and promises from someone, but for the first time in your life, they don’t ring hollow. He wasn’t just trying to placate you. He meant every single word. 

You hold his gaze for a moment, deciding that you’ve hidden yourself away for far too long. He was Isaac Rhoades, the man you decided to spend the rest of your life with. The man who you trust with your life, who gave you a second chance at life. If there was anyone in the world who you could trust to handle your own demons, it was certainly him.

“…Isaac…have you ever wondered why I left home?” 

[desswright29]

Contains: Petty Argument, Overreacting reader, Overprotective Shuri, Bratty reader, Angry Shuri/reader, Reader testing the fuck out of Shuri’s patience, apologetic reader. Smut (18+), Sub Shuri 🫦, (I was inspired lol) Reader has PTSD from her past abusive relationship. A/N: This is in the “Shame” universe. I just felt like writting. So this is a side quest as I write PTV. I hope y’all enjoy! Also this shit is not edited. Read at your own risk lmao.

“Mholo ngalentsasa, umfazi wam.” Your wife’s voice was soft, slightly raspy with sleep this morning. You sensed an aggitated apprehensiveness in her tone, even in your groggy state. Her back was to you as she sat in the lounge area of the bedroom, eating a bowl of Cinnamon Toast Crunch while watching the news. Your vision was still blurry, eyes sensitive to the amount of sun shining into the room, as you stare at the back Shuri’s head from the bed.

“Good Morning baby, are you eating cereal? I was going to cook breakfast for us.” You stretch, becoming more aware of your surroundings, and most importantly of your body, you recognize the pounding headache at your temples and the aching in your bones.

“It is just after noon, 12:02 to be exact, and you sweet girl, are sick.” Your eyes bulge at her revelation of the time.

“Afternoon!” You shot up fast, and was  immediately hit with an overwhelming dizzyness that forced you to lay back against the headboard. You were in denial about the final part of her statement, even though your body ached from head to toe, you had the sweats, and your head was pounding. But, you were on tour and had no intention of canceling tonight’s show.

She glanced at you over her shoulder. “Take it slow, my love. You tossed and turned all night, running a fever. I had Griot check your vitals and your fever got dangerously high. I was up all night making sure you were alright. You’ve been sweating a lot so you need to hydrate.” Hesitance laced her tone as she stared ahead at the television. Your face was plastered all over the news. Fans already lined up outside of the arena waiting to see you perform. “I think that it would be best if you cancelled tonight’s show, no?” Shuri knew that her advice would not be well received, and braced herself.

“Uh no! Shuri you should’ve woke me up. I’m not canceling my show! Now I’m gonna be rushing.” You try standing only for your body to reject it. Landing right back onto the bed. Shuri’s chin dropped to her chest, pinching her nose trying not to allow her frustration to over power her rationale.

“Sthandwa, it’s been weeks. You’re over due a break. I told you this was going to happen and that you need to slow down.” Shuri spoke with her usual calm demeanor. Trying to keep you from going into a panic.

“I have!” Your voice went up an octave as you lied to no one except for yourself. Shuri threw her arm over the back of the couch, finally turning to look at you fully “No. You have not.” She rebutted. You roll your eyes sitting on the side of the bed. You notice the lounge wear you wore to bed had been changed. You were sure that was courtesy of your thoughtful wife.

“Uuuuugghhh Shuri. Please. I don’t have the energy for this.”

“Right. That is exactly my point. How do you plan to do a show in your condition ubusi?” Shuri cocked her head to the side as she waited for an answer that would make sense.

“I’ll take something for the pain and fever, go back to sleep for a couple of hours, and I’ll be ok when I wake up.” Shuri placed her half eaten bowl onto the table, getting up to walk over to the bed. She got on one knee in front of you. Grabbing one of your hands and lifting your chin with her other.

“No you won’t. Baby, your body is exhausted, it can only take so much more.  I’ve been medicating you all night. It keeps coming back. You need rest. You have to know when to take a break, or this lifestyle is going to break you.” You groan in defiance.

“I understand you mean well Shuri but I have an obligation to my fans. If I cancel tonight it’s going to complicate everything. We’ll have to refund everyone. Pay a fine to the venue…and damnit I just want to perform! It’s Madison Square Garden for Bast sake!” You whined. You leaned forward catching your head in your hands in frustration. Shuri rubbed your arm comfortingly. 

“Don’t stress yourself. I understand. I know you love what you do. You put a lot of hard work into it, and I admire that. But, Thando you’re taking your body through a lot of physical strain. Training with the Dora, learning your duties as consort, and actively on tour. It’s physically impossible for any human.” 

“You have more on your plate than I do. And you’re doing just fine!” Shuri, being true to the patient woman that you married, continued being calm during your temper tantrum.

“Bambo’lawami, while I am human, I have a bit of an advantage here. I should hardly be the determining factor for your work ethic. You need to let something go.” If Shuri only knew where her statement would take this, she would immediately swallow those words. Your head jerks back as you look down at Shuri, chuckling though very unamused.

“OOOOh, ok… I’m getting it now. Is the career I built getting in the way of my duties for Wakanda?” You raised a brow as Shuri mimicked your prior movement, her head jerking back in confusion.

“What? That has nothing to do with what I said.” 

“No. But, it has everything to do with what you implied.” You say, your words laced with spite. 

The creases in her forhead increased with each word that came from your mouth.

“Sthand-“

“Don’t fucking SthANdwa me. I already know what you’re gonna say. ‘You are being unreasonable Entle, I only want what’s best for you.’ When we both know that this your way of introducing the idea of me giving up my career, so that I can play the submissive Queens consort? Walk to the right and two steps behind you!?” Shuri sat back on her haunches, completely taken aback. She snickered.

“Are you for real? I-“ Your hand comes up, placing it directly into your wife’s face. She bit into the corner of her bottom lip. A sneer appearing on her upper, as her nostrils flared.

“I don’t want to hear shit you have to say. I’m doing this and every other show I have scheduled for MY tour. I’m not giving up who I am and what I’VE built to play small and be your little wife.” You go to mush Shuri’s face but her hand quickly grasped your wrist placing your hand gently back onto the bed. 

“Whoa. You’re loosing it Nkosazana. Dont put your hand in my face. Don’t ever disrespect me like that.” Her pointer finger came up, centered between your eyes. 

“And what are you gonna do?” You say swatting her hand away. She removed her hand before you could make contact. You place your hand back into her face and she swats it. The two of you go through this back in forth for a moment until frustration takes over and you catch Shuri off guard pushing her away from you making her land on her butt. 

“Y/n what the fuck are you doing!?” Shuri’s voice became high pitched as confusion took over her. She remained seated on the floor.

“My intent is not to start an arguement with you. You’re stressed and not feeling well. Apparently, you have some other unrelated issue with me, that we should discuss at a better time. Because, no way you’re taking my concern for your health as some sort of power play.” The statement came out as a question.

“Yup.” You say crossing your arms and rolling your neck. 

“Y/n.”

“Yuuup.” You say more aggressive. Shuri squinted her eyes a smirk turning up one of her cheeks.

“Yea?”

“Yup” You repeat.

“Childish.” You shrug staring at her waiting impatiently for whatever it was she had to say. Quietly, her eyes scan over your body. Had it been any other time, or had you felt better the look on her face would’ve folded you like origami. However, now you had an unwarranted point to prove. Just because Shuri was a sexy, domineering goddess didn’t mean you were going to drop everything for her. You built your image without her and planned to maintain it. You were a Queen in your own right before marrying Shuri, this was your shit!

“It seems as though we’re past not arguing.” You cock your head to the side with all the attitude you can muster, as Shuri stands to her feet, clenching her jaw. 

 “Llisten, Your health at the moment is what matters to me. That is all this is about.”

“Puh’ lease, you been on this shit. Does my success make you insecure Shuri?” You continued pushing your invalid point. Shuri closed her eyes.

“Bast, I’m trying to keep my composure.”

“And if you loose it?” You raise a brow continuing to challenge Shuri. She stepped forward Jaw clenched. 

“You want to act like a child, y/n? Fine, I’ll treat you like one. If you so much as think about going to that show tonight, I’m going to hunt you down and drag your little ass back into this house and chain you to the bed. Do you understand me?”

Your mouth dropped, a sudden burst of energy hit you as you lept to your feet standing on the bed in an attempt to over power Shuri. 

“Who the fuck you think you talking to?!!” Shuri snorted turning to walk away. 

“The only person confused in here is you. I guess the 103 degree fever you were running was boiling your brain cells. I’ll be happy to remind you who YOU are speaking with. We maybe consorts but I rule over you. Calm yourself.” She punctuated her sentence jabbing her finger in your direction. “You’ve gotten beside yourself. I’ll shut the fucking city down before I let you leave this house thinking it’s ok to distrespect me the way you are. The only point I’m making is that you’re running that beautiful body of yours into the ground. And it’s going to give way mama.” At this point you were relentless. 

“Ha! Oh that’s cute kitten.” Shuri shook her head chewing on the insides of her cheeks. Confused at how you even got to this point. She’d made her way back to the sitting area plopping down onto the couch. You followed. “Be serious, your intimidated because I’m not one of these thirsty bitches that need you. I’m good on my own and I could have just as much without you and your trying to ta-“ Shuri shot back to her feet. Making her way to you in a few long strides.

“I DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT YOUR LITT-.” Shuri tried stopping herself before playing into this foolish argument, but it was too late. You had shook her calm front, and cut her off.

“There it is!! There the fuck it is! Show yourself!” 

“EVERYDAY! Y/n EVERY FUCKING DAY I go out of my way making sure you’re happy and ok. And you think I would wait until you were ill to push some dumb ass agenda I’ve been hiding onto you.” You stare at her unyielding in your point. Shuri stepped back chuckling, She threw her hands up in surrender.

“You know what. Fuck it. Do as you please! Fuck me for giving a shit about my wife. Go risk your LIFE to dress in a strip of fabric and clap your ass in front of an a arena full of strangers. I’m done!” You smirk.

“Proved my point.” 

“Discussion over.”

“I bet it is.”

“OVER!” Your eyes connected with Shuri’s. Though you may not have been very connected with your own limits. You knew Shuri’s. So you chose to heed her warning. You stomped around the room collecting your things while Shuri sat slumped on the couch attending to business on her Kimoyo beads. 

“I’m going to wait for the car at Bruno’s and I’ll stay with my sister after my show.”

“Do what you gotta do.” Her voice had gone down an octave, raspy and tired. Your aching body wanted so bad to go over, fall into her lap, and let her nurse you back to health. But, the stubbornness in you, the part that was afraid to rely fully on Shuri or anyone because of your checkered past relationships, pressed on. 

“Eat a dick.” You say calmly before snatching open the door, and slamming it as hard as you could behind you. 

“Tuh.” And a snicker was Shuri’s only reaction. Her nonchalance only a weak bandage for the wound you’d just caused her.

Shuri was in a bad mood. It was apparent in her stifling demeanor as she swaggered backstage. Her lack of sleep, the heated argument between the two of you, and pure worry for her wife drove her to an astute level of unapproachable. Her shades hid her frustrated eyes, but her demeanor was not to be misunderstood.

She’d tried getting some rest, tried staying away and letting you do your thing. But, even when she was pissed at you her love and protective instincts for you would always over power any anger. So, after stubbornly tossing and turning on the couch, and stomping through the house mumbling angrily to herself, after her failed attempt at sleeping. She decided to take a shower, and then she found herself getting dressed, grabbing keys, and heading in the direction of Madison Square Garden in the Royal Talon. 

You were halfway through your set, as she walked over to the wings. Your tour Manager Wayne stood watching intently, until he felt the presence of the Queen approaching. Shuri saw his shoulders visibly tense as she walked up beside him.

“Why do you look nervous Wayne? Is there a reason you would need to be cautious around me?” She never made eye contact. Just leaned  her shoulder onto a pillar, crossing her legs at the ankle, staring out onto the stage.

“N-no I-“ She cut him off, not having the patience to beat around the bush.

“Tell me, have you seen my wife today?”

“Uh, Well yes.” Shuri’s jaw tensed as she nodded, somehow the shades covering her eyes made this moment even more frightening for the man. The lights from the stage casting a red glow over her. 

“Really? Because if you had. You would know that she is in no condition to be on that stage tonight.” Her head turned slightly to the right of her where Wayne stood shifting on his feet.

“She said she’d be good by show time. E-everyone was already here I-I couldn’t cancel. I was just doing as she sa-“ 

“Isn’t apart of your job to make sure that my wife is in good health. Does it not matter if the artist is well? Or are you just worried about your check? Because, I can get you your check, and  it’ll be the last. Was this one show worth your job Wayne?” Shuri raised a brow, and a sarcastic smile spread across Shuri’s face. 

“I’m so-“ The shivering teary eyed man began. 

“Shuri!” Dani marched up standing in between the two of them. Interrupting the tense moment.

“Wayne, go gather yourself. I hear the Queen is on a little power trip because she can’t control my sister. She’ll get over it.” Shuri scoffed as Wayne rushed off. 

“I heard you were here terrorizing the staff because y/n went through with her show. Lay off it Shuri! This is a sold out show at Madison Square Garden! You’re not about to mess this night up for her.”

“Me! Mess it up! Dani have you even seen your sister up close for the past couple of weeks!? She’s fucking exhausted. She’s pushing herself entirely too hard.”

“So, she has to give up her career?!”

“WHO THE FUCK IS SAYING THAT! Demethi! You two are definietly related. She JUST NEEDS A BREEAAAAAK! From EVERYTHING! GAHDAMN!” 

“I think she knows her limitations. She’s putting on a flawless show. You can’t control-“

“I don’t -…. You know what Dani, It’s best if  nobody says shit to me tonight. I’m here to ensure my wife’s safety. Keep the rest.” Dani rolled her eyes.

“Whatever.” She said as her and Shuri stood silently watching the show. 

She watched your body move, as you sang effortlessly. The truth was, Shuri loved watching you in your element. The joy in your face, the sound of your voice. How you lost yourself becoming an entirely different being on stage. She loved even more the private shows she got after a show was over, the both of you all riled up. You, from trying to turn your wife on while onstage. Her, from you succeeding. Yea. After show sex was Shuris favorite. A smirk found it’s way to Shuri’s lips as she thought about your escapades. She didn’t want to argue. She just wanted you to be ok, and she couldn’t rest until she felt that you were. Taking something that you loved and excelled at would have never crossed Shuri’s mind, and it hurt her that you believed it would.

The show was coming to an end, and per usual it had been effortless. You did your final song. thanking your fans as the band continued to play you off stage. Shuri felt silly. Maybe she had overreacted. But, was she wrong? All she’d wanted was for you to be safe and healthy. You couldn’t be too mad at her for that. Could you?

The crowd roared as you did your signature strut off of the stage. The walk Shuri loved so much. Her eyes trailed over your body, starting at your feet, up to those thick thighs, your non existent waist, your beautiful bouncing breast, and then that gorge-. That’s when Shuri saw it,  your face was pale, washed out. There was fear in your eyes as you approached the wings as fast possible. Shuri’s face dropped as you got out of view of the crowd. She stepped forward.

“Y/n, babe.” Your eyes met her shaded ones, and you made it to your wife just in time to wrap your arms around her neck and faint. 

“Sis! Y/n!” Dani yelled, running to Shuri’s side. Jumping into action Shuri swooped the rest of your limp body up into her arms. 

“Move!” She yelled as she made her way through the crowded back stage. Chaos, ensued as everyone realized what was happening. Shuri tried making it to the Talon fighter, everything she needed to nurse you conscious was there, but suddenly she felt you stiffening in her arms. She stopped in her tracks looking down at you.

“EVERYBODY GIVE HER SOME SPACE SHES SEIZING! Someone get me something to cushion her head!” She barked orders as people ran around trying to find ways to help, or just stood staring. She gently placed you on your side as your sister took off her jacket placing it under your head, as your body began jerking. 

“It’s ok baby I’m here. I’m going to make sure you’re ok.” Medics rushed in with a gurney, directing everyone not to hover. Shuri lie on the floor above your head. Whispering words of encouragement. 

“I got you baby. Hang in there. It’ll be over soon.” Once you stopped seizing, They moved into action. Hurrying to get you onto the gurney before you went into another seizure. 

“Take her to the roof. I’m taking her home. We have whatever medical assistance she needs.” Shuri ordered as her and your sister ran beside the gurney. The Dora and your team followed close behind. 

Once safely on the aircraft Shuri had you placed you in a bed. Her first goal to hydrate you. She’d noticed weeks ago that in your attempt to juggle everything you weren’t eating enough, or staying hydrated. Your body had been running on fumes. Not getting nearly enough of anything it needed. Food, water, or sleep. Not to mention all of the sweating you did in your sleep last night. She’d spoken on it several times, and she continuously went ignored. Now your body had finally caved. She worked on you silently. Cutting off the restricting clothes. Giving you fluids through an IV and placing a cooling pad over your body. A tear fell from her eye and she quickly wiped it away. She’d never forgive herself for not being more insistent on you canceling if something happened to you. 

“Griot. Does she show any signs of injury?”

“Assessing damage Panther.” She waited patiently as Griot scanned your body. “Ikumkani wam shows no signs of injury.”

“Thank Bast.” Shuri breathed a sigh of relief. 

You began to stir and Shuri stood to her feet walking over to your side. She held your hand as you opened your eyes. 

“Hey there, pretty girl.” She says leaning in, gently caressing the side of your face. 

“W-what happened?”

“You fainted, and had a seizure.” Your eyes widened before you averted your eyes. 

“I’m not here for I told you so baby. I’m just happy you’re ok.”

A soft knock at the door interrupted the moment. 

“Did I hear her talking?” Your sister walked in with Wayne trailing behind. “Girl thank God you’re up. You scared the shit out of me!” Your sister came over kissing your forehead.

“Yes we’re all happy to see you up. You gave us all quite a scare.” Wayne said. Your team stood outside of the door not wanting to overwhelm you. Shuri spoke up. 

“I’m glad you all are here. I think this is a perfect time for me to voice how I don’t appreciate the complete disregard for my wife’s health. If it was my say all of you would be fired.”

“Shuri.” You say about to chastise her when she threw a look over her shoulder that let you know now was not the time.

“I’m being as nice as I have the patience to be right now….It’s been a long day. You all will postpone the tour for two weeks.” You gasp.

“Shuri that’s excessive! I alrea-” Shuri turned all the way around looking down at you from her seated position. 

“I’m sorry sthandwa..Did that sound like a request? I should’ve went with my first mind and shut it down last night. However, this is your thing. So I deemed it necessary to run it by you first. But, since you don’t seem to know your limits I’ll be taking things into my own hands until you prove to me you can. And it’s not up for discussion.” She spoke firm staring directly into your eyes, and there was no room for argument. She directed her attention back to your team. 

“Call the venues, get a price point on the fines and the date changes. Let me know. I’ll take care of it. Staff will also be compensated. Just get it done. All business is to go through me and me only for the next two weeks. Got it.” Everyone acknowledged her with a firm yes and she dismissed everyone to allow you to rest. With the exception of Dani, who decided to stay with the two of you to help out.

Shuri pulled up a document on her Kimoyo beads and began typing.

“What are you doing?” You ask

“Requesting that M’Baku take my place for the next two weeks. So I don’t overwhelm myself.”

She side eyed you and you looked away. She turned around to you grabbing your chin, turning your head back toward her. 

“Ubusi, when I met you…It’s like….like I grew another limb. You became apart of me. Apart of my body, and If you’re not ok neither am I. I need you to take care of my body baby. There is no strength without rest.” You bite into your lip. Your wife always had a beautiful way with words. 

“I understand. I’m sorry about earlier I-“

“Let’s not talk about that now. You need to get some rest. I’m not dismissing it. Just saving it for another time. Ok?” You nod and she softly kissed your lips.

For the next week you watched your wife take care of your business. You noticed how much attention to detail she had to have been paying to the way you ran things, before you got sick. She didn’t miss a beat. She made sure you ate, hydrated, and rested. Took meetings with venues and made sure your staff was paid, suggesting that they rest as well. You also noticed, that with all the care and love she was giving you, she was still a bit stand off-ish. 

“Baby what’s wrong?” You’d find yourself asking constantly. She’d always rebut with, “Nothing my love, just a lot on my plate.” However, you knew better.

Her kisses were light and didn’t linger, she’d bring your meals, but, wouldn’t snuggle up, and eat them with you. And when you two went to bed she’d kiss your forehead and turn over away from you. You hated it! 

The two of you still hadn’t talked about the argument. The more you thought about it, the more guilty you felt for overreacting. You’d gone entirely too far. You knew that you had really hurt her with some of your harsh opinions about how she felt about you and your career. Regret was as simple as you could put it, as you watched her handle the the career you built with all the love, just as you would. You had been wrong, and hurtful. And It was your turn to apologize.

Shuri pulled into the driveway. Taking a deep breath as she turned off the car. To be honest, home had been hard for her lately. She struggled with when to bring up the fact that you had hurt her. How did this part of your relationship go? Was she even allowed to be hurt? The two of you had never made it to this point. Shuri had always been the one ruining everything, and apologizing profusely. But, she’d fixed it. She was putting her best foot forward in this marriage. Being the best wife she knew how to be. She thought you’d known that. What was she doing wrong where you didn’t see?

She had been sitting in the car for 15 minutes. Meetings with your team, updates with the council, and checking in on her lab filled her day and she was ready to get some rest. Finally she decided to get out. Her energy was heavy as she walked to the front door placing her key in the lock. Stepping inside of her home she was immediately met with red and gold rose petals. Large glass vases filled with long stem roses, and candles led a path to a table beautifully set for two. You sat on the table, legs crossed in your sheer black floor length dress, breast on display with an edible arrangement settled on your lap, with the words sorry carved out in pineapple. A huge teddy bear that read “I love you” sat in the corner and balloons with apologies written all over them,  littered every corner of the room. But over top of your head were huge balloons that individually spelled. IM SORRY. In case she wasn’t getting the message.

Shuri was stuck, speechless at the door. The last time you’d done something this beautiful for her was when you proposed. The thought brought tears to her eyes, as she took it all in.

“I know grand gestures and elaborate apologies are usually your thing. But, I thought I’d take a jab at it this time.” Shuri chuckled as a tear fell down her cheek. You looked at your beautiful wife. Today she was apparently feeling her femininity. A jean dress that hugged her silhouette so perfectly graced her beautiful body. Her braids were adorned with golden string, and her makeup was perfection. You couldn’t help but think that you were a lucky women. 

“You look beautiful, Sweet Lady.” She look down slightly and you could tell she was trying to hide her blush. It brought a smile to your face.

“I promise I didn’t over exert myself. Dani helped with dinner, and I had a few other hands with helping me get all of this set up, before I kicked everyone out.” You stood from the table placing the edible arrangement onto it. You reach out your hand to her. “Come here.” Shuri made her way to you, heels clicking against the marble floors. When she was close enough you grabbed her hands.

“Baby I’m sorry. For a lot of things. But, first of all for putting my hands on you. I was delirious. I am fully aware we don’t operate that way. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, and that I made things more difficult than they had to be. And most importantly, I’m sorry for the things I said. I know I have a habit of putting my guard back up in certain areas of my life out of protection for myself. I recognize I don’t have to do that with you. I recognize how ungrateful and entitle I’ve been. Overlooking your effort. I do see you. And I’m very appreciative of the work you put in for us.” Shuri sniffles looking down at her feet. You lift her chin slightly so that her eyes can meet your own again. She bit into her lip, her low eyes connecting with yours. 

“I can see that I hurt you, and I hate it. I wish I could take everything I said back because I didn’t mean it in the slightest. Those weren’t words meant for you, and who you’ve shown yourself to be to me. I let the past infiltrate what we have now, and for that I truly apologize Shuri. So, if you give me the chance, I can be better at showing you how much I appreciate you. I know you know I love you. I’ll forever be in love with you. I don’t want to mess us up either. Your love is wonderful, and I don’t want to loose you.”

Shuri had tears streaming down both of her cheeks now. You use the pad of your thumb to wipe away the tears. Finally, the two of you step into eachothers arms. “I love you sthandwa, I’m giving this all I got.” She finally says. The softness in her tone almost broke you.

“I know baby. And you’re perfect.” you say wrapping your arms around her neck as she buries her face into yours. She picks her head up, placing her forhead to yours staring into your eyes.

“I miss you.” She says. You nod. Knowing exactly what she means. 

“I miss you too. Can I kiss you?” You ask. She nods.

You close the distance and give your wife a long lingering kiss for the first time in days. Your lips slide against eachothers longingly. Passionately. This woman would forever be your heart. Your everything.

“I’m sorry,” you whisper against her lips.

“I forgive you, baby.” She responds.

“I need to touch you Shuri. Can I touch you please mama?” Another request came from you against her lips. She moaned her reply into your mouth. One of your arms slipped from around her neck. Gliding down her clothed chest to her abs, to the hem of her form fitting dress. You hike up her dress, your fingers brushing against her silk lined clit, her body shivered against your touch as she stepped further into you. Her mouth gapped open at the sensation, as you rubbed up and down against her. 

“It feels like you need me to touch you. But, you won’t tell me what you need beautiful.” Shuri’s knees buckled a bit as she backed you against the table. 

“Uh uh, calm down panther. I want to take care of you. Tell me you need me.”  She panted against your mouth as you stroke her bud. “Uhn. I-I need y-you please baby.” You smirk against her lips. “Good girl.” 

Shuri moaned, as the two of you switch positions Shuri now pressed into the table.

Your kissing became more intense. Pressing her up against the table, she lifts your dress as you firmly plant your thigh between her muscular legs. Shuri whimpers quietly, grabbing the back of your head and kissing you voraciously. Your bodies heave together, squirming, and writhing. Your thighs intertwined as you hungrily rub her vulva over her panties.

 She pulls you as close to her as possible, her nails unconsciously digging into your back. You pull away from her mouth, and begin kissing her neck. Sighing as she tugs on your hair. 

“I need you Shuri.” You say as you find the zipper at the back of her dress. Slowly unzipping her dress, pulling it down her shoulders. “I need you in my life. To be loved by you. To touch you. To taste you. I love you so much.”

Your hand finds her breast under a sheer, silky bra. You feel her nipple poking through the soft fabric, and take it between your two fingers, massaging it slowly.

“Fuck y/n.” She whispers, her hips continued to rotate on your thigh, her head thrown back eyes closed in concentration.

Wanting to feel her skin, you unhook her bra and let it fall off of her shoulders. Taking her small perky breast in your hand, you caress it softly, tracing circles around her nipple. Giving each one equal attention. 

“You’re so perfect. Beautiful and perfect. All of you.”

You take a nipple into your mouth and suck lightly, encircling, and kissing each one. Shuri begans frantically moaning  trying to rub her self against you harder. You lightly run your fingers up and down her bare back. 

“Tell me what you need pretty girl.” You whisper in her ear. “Tell me what I gotta do?” Shuri whimpers.

“Bast, I love it when you talk to me like that.”

“Mmm Daddy Panther wants to be my pretty girl tonight?” Shuri grabs the front of your dress. As her hips continue to grind against you. 

“Ewe! Let me be your good girl.” Your core throbs at the pretty sound of her voice. 

She sits eye level with you. You stare intently into her eyes taking her lower lip into your mouth, sucking as your hands slide gently down her sides, onto her thighs, and inside her panties. 

She lets out sweet a little moan and buries her head in your neck. She breathes heavily on your skin as you gently rub her mound, pressing hard against her clit. Your finger slides between her lips to find her slick and wet, her clit rock-hard. 

“Ndive kamnandi (make me feel good)” Her body shivered against yours. 

“Whatever you want baby girl. Whatever you want.”

You continue, rubbing on her clit, with calculated strokes soft, slow, up, down. 

“Please baby I need more. Uhn I want to cum for you sthandwa.”

She grips the back of your neck tighter as she lets out a breathy shudder. You move your  fingers in and out of her pussy. You felt her ridges squeezing against your fingers as her hips meet your thrust. Your thumb rubbed delicate circles on her clit as tears began to run down her cheeks.

"Yes baby right there!” She says. You start pressing hard against the upper wall of her pussy. She nearly collapses from this intense sensation. Her thighs shaking beneath you. 

“Ooohh fuck me y/n. You make me feel so fucking sexy.” Your mouth was agape as you watched Shuri bounce against your fingers. She looked more erotic than you’d ever seen her before dress bunched at her waist. Sweat begining to glisten over her beautiful breast, and one of her toned legs thrown over your shoulder, her pretty feet still adorned in her heels. 

“I could cum just looking at you right now Shuri. I can’t believe you’re mine. Fuuuck.”

Your arm supported her back so she wouldn’t  fall as you brought her closer to the edge of the table.  She tenses up against you now, squeezing you with both arms. A steady stream of the most beautiful sounds to ever exit Shuri’s mouth flowing into your ears.

“You’re close baby I can feel you. Give it all to me.”

The web of your hand pressed hard against her clit as your fingers pump in and out of her. You grab her clit between your middle and index fingers, pulling the foreskin up and down. A gasp escapes her mouth. 

“Ahhhh fuckgiveitgiveittomegiveittome!”

Her words ran together as you continued to work her pussy. Teasing bringing her to the edge and slowing down because you didn’t want this to end. You loved seeing your powerful wife like this. Putty at the tips of your fingers.

By now your fingers are drenched and pruning. Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead, as she fell back against the table gripping the cloth. She's whispering under her breath for you to fuck her, growing more and more insistent. You were mesmerized. She began to stifle screams and you reach forward pulling a pineapple from the stick. Placing the S in sorry into your wife’s mouth. 

“Here baby. That should keep that pretty mouth quiet.”

She bites into the fruit hard. It’s juices running down the sides of her face. “Uuuuuuhhhnnn.” She lets out a long moan muffled by the the fruit. You fuck her harder, as she drools, her back begining to arch off of the table. "I'm gonna come," she says breathlessly, her mouth still full. Her body begans twitching and convulsing uncontrollably.

"It's okay, l've got you baby. Give me that shit." You lean over whispering in her ear and kissing it lightly. A few more strokes to her G-Spot, your thumb circling her clit, and you finally let her release. She lets out a long, tremulous sigh, her eyes rolling back into her head before her whole body goes limp in your arms. She comes hard, her pussy clamping down on your fingers. Her warm cream coating your hand as  you take out your dripping wet fingers. You suck her juices from your fingers and lean over her grabbing the bottom of the s of her pineapple with your teeth. Tearing it from her mouth and pecking her lips as she lay catching her breath.

You squat in front of her. Coming face to face with your work. Her panties soaking wet and rolled to the side of her fat pussy her clit jutting out between the lips. Quivering. Calling out to you. You place her heeled foot onto your shoulder and answered the call. Cleaning her up, sucking all the cum from her lower lips. And spitting it back into her clit before taking it into your mouth. Her hips buck upwards as she reached down holding your head in place. 

“Too sensitive.” She says. You reach up moving her hand from your head holding it in your hand. “You can do it.” You kiss the tip of her clit and once again engulf it. 

“Uuughhh!!” She lets out, as you suck up and down on her engorged clit. “Baby it’s too much.”

“She’s calling me Shuri.” 

“Umphhh Fuuuck!” She says as you continue sucking her. You rub your face in it. Getting your face full of her juices. You felt Shuri tensing underneath you. Holding her breath. 

“Breathe, baby. Deep breaths.” She tried following your instructions, and you felt the exact moment the pleasure took over body.

Her heels painfully dug into your shoulders, egging you on. 

“Damnit! Y/n!” She yelled, as she let out huffs of breath. Breathing through the intense pleasure. 

“Tell me you like it baby.” Your fingers reentered her sweet pussy as you ate her like your final meal.

“FUUUUUCCCCK! I love it. You drive t-this pussy crazy! Uuhhhnnn Bast! Get up! I gotta pee! I-I’m gonna e-explode!” You dive in fucking her harder sucking her faster. “Y/n, MOOVVVEE!” Her body writhed violently on top of the table anything that had been on top of it now long gone. 

“EH!” A high pitched scream left her mouth as her body almost levitated into a seated position. Her eyes and mouth wide. She grabbed the back of your neck pressing you up into her pussy, as her hips began to thrust hard against your face. You felt a gush of liquid hit the back of your throat. Unattatching yourself from her you began to cough, only to go back in and suck some more of her. Letting Shuri cover your face in her essence. She slid from the table. Both of you falling to the floor. She landed on all fours. Pussy still hovering over top of your face. You lift up kissing it. 

“Stop! Stop, stop.” She said shivering. She lowered her body between your legs laying on top of your chest, and you let out a hiss. She looked up seeing small holes left by her heels on your shoulders. 

“Did I do that!? I’m so sorry babe.” You laugh. 

“Trust me baby, I enjoyed it.” She leaned forward kissing, licking and sucking your sex injuries as you carressed the small of her back moaning from the feel of her mouth on you. 

A wrapped gift caught the corner of your eye amidst all of the broken dishes and fruit on the floor. “Oh. I almost forgot!” Shuri hummed as she continued to tend to your wounds. You reach over grabbing the box. Tapping her back, signaling her to get up. She looks down at the box as she sits all the way up straddling your waist.

“What’s this?”

“Open it. You’ll see.” You giggle as she rolls her eyes. She removes the ribbon and wrapping paper. Opening the box to two diamond Catier bracelets. 

“Apology diamonds” you say. �� They’re engraved.”She picked them up looking inside. 

One read ‘For better’ the other read ‘For worse’. 

Shuri looked looked into your eyes tears brimming. You smile.

“Forever baby.”

[arctrooper69]

As Iron Sharpens Iron

"As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another" Proverbs 27:17

Beta-read by @dragonrider9905

Chapter 5:

Previous // Next

Warnings: Hurt feelings and misunderstandings.

--------------------------------------------------

You felt like you were going to throw up.

“....useful asset… reckless…. irritable… not a member of the team to me…”

You'd gotten back to the ship earlier than planned, entering quietly as not to wake Omega. You froze upon hearing your name in Hunter's voice and then in Tech’s. It felt wrong, listening in to a private conversation, but you couldn't stop the way your heart sped up, sending butterflies swirling about your stomach upon hearing Hunter's voice. He sounded confused, upset even. So against your better judgment, you stayed. Now you wished you hadn't.

Is that really what they think of me? Reckless, irresponsible. An asset.

Not even a member of the team. An asset.

You curled into the pillow, hidden away behind the thick curtains that Wrecker had hung around your bunk.

Probably so that they wouldn't have to see me - so that they can just forget I'm here until I'm useful.

Tears burned hot, soaking the pillow in a silent grief. It hurt. You thought you'd finally found a home - finally found where you belonged. Now you knew that was a lie.

First Hunter. Now the whole squad.

The jagged remains of wishful hope that still lingered in your chest fractured further, splintering like glass.

You could still see it clearly. Though it was only a glimpse caught in nanoseconds, the sight of it branded itself behind your eyes like a hot iron. Hunter and Tara, lips locked in a moment of passion. Her fingers tangled in his hair. His hand on her waist.

The datapad lying forgotten on the bunk at your feet chimed loudly, drawing you back into the moment with a start. Almost instinctively, your fingers curled into fists, hands shaking, nearly drawing blood as your fingernails dug against the skin of your palm, clenching ever tighter until the skin around your knuckles turned white. Another mission. Echo must’ve been out at Cid’s. You scrolled through the dossier he’d sent, annoyance flashing across your face. They’d already assumed you’d be ready and able like nothing had happened.

Nothing has happened - at least not to them.

It was so easy to forget that all the turbulence that boiled under your skin was simply a product of your own mind.

One more mission. One more day.

You’d give them this. One last mission because you couldn’t bear to let them down. No matter what they thought of you, the love you felt for this squad was still there scrambling in a desperately futile attempt to repair the shattered pieces of hope that stubbornly refused to leave. Hope like that was dangerous. You’d only get hurt again - yet it continued to fight back.

But what if…

No.

Could it have been a misunderstanding?

No. Stop.

Am I overreacting for nothing?

If you keep this up you’ll just end up worse than before. Just accept that you don’t belong here. One last mission then you’ll leave.

But I don’t want to go…

Yes you do. It’s better this way.

Taking a deep breath, you wiped your face and quickly headed to the fresher keeping your eyes down lest anyone see the telling red-rimmed, swollen eyes and splotchy patches adorning your face.

It’s all professional now. This is just another job. The mission comes before all else. Emotions get you killed.

The cool water soothed the heat of your skin. You stared into the mirror making no attempts to dry the wet dripping down your face, allowing it to wash away all evidence of hurt. It was surprisingly easy to allow yourself to slip back into the gruff bounty hunter facade you’d kept up for so long before joining the Batch.

Focus on the task at hand. Get the job done.

Sitting back down on the bed, you drew the curtains again and unlocked the small trunk that held what little belongings you had. Sitting inside was the trooper doll companion you were making for Omega - stuffed with one of Hunter's old bandanas. It was only half finished.

And probably won’t ever be now, you thought as you picked it up, fingers running gently over the soft material. The tears threatened to come again at the thought of a memory that was no longer yours to make.

Something stuck out from beneath an extra jacket. Against your better judgment, you pulled it out and sighed. A bittersweet nostalgia knotted your stomach. There you were beside Hunter - Omega squeezed between you, smiling proudly despite the grime that covered her tunic. It was her first training exercise. You smiled proudly down at her. Even Hunter sported some semblance of a grin.

The fingertips encroaching on the sides of the image denoted Wrecker as the camera operator. Tech and Echo engaged in ship repairs in the background.

What you wouldn't give to go back to that time. Everything seemed simpler then.

Swallowing hard, you put the holopic back at the bottom of the trunk, covering it fully with the jacket. You shoved the remainder of your supplies into your pack and shut the trunk, letting the lock click into place with a resounding finality.

Clenching your teeth, you took a deep breath. One more mission. One more day.

--------------------------------------------------

@zoeykallus @ttzamara @nahoney22 @merkitty49 @viva-la-whump @agenteliix @dumpsters-little-matchbook @nekotaetae @ladykatakuri @loverofclones @heyitsaloy @padawancat97 @jambolska-grozdova @flyingkangaroo @melymigo @the-rain-on-kamino @jiabae @my-own-oracle @dragonrider9905 @queenofspades6 @ordinarylokix @jupitersaturnapollo @queencousland101 @vampire-rogue @southernbaguette @staycalmandhugaclone @dalu-grantkylo @dangraccoon @aconstructofamind @sev-on-kamino @sol-the-otter @pb-jellybeans @atomickidsoul @caitnotfound @ghostlyembassy @skellymom @freesia-writes @trixie2023 @jedipoodoo @reader6898 @all-mights-babygirl @arcsimper5 @red-robin-yum08 @wintersnnowie @whore-of-many-hot-men @theeyesofasoldier @griffedeloup @starswhores @totallyunidentified @waytoooldforthis78

If you want to be on my taglist, feel free to send me a message! Also, asks are open! Reblogging is very much encouraged and it makes me do a happy dance every time any of my writing gets reblogged 😂❤️

[robobarbie]

angst AND romance??? both? both. both is good.

inspired by me messing around with quests options and finding one where quest gets pissed when he finds out societyboy used to yell at mc: how about when he finds out the rest of it? him trying to balance feeling absolutely pissed while comforting mc

of course tw for abuse mention

----------------

You hadn't wanted to talk about it -- not that night, at least. You promised yourself you would when you were ready, and ready you certainly were not. But life isn't kind to expectations, is it?

Here you are, arms covering your face, Quest looking at you quizzically, and all you want to do was melt into the couch and disappear.

"Angel?" He speaks softly.

Fuck.

You clench your fists and close your eyes as tears begin to well. You look so fucking stupid right now. Attention seeking, overreactive behavior. Why did you have to give the game away, huh? Why do you always do this at the smallest reminder?

Quest's hand gently touches your arm but retreats when you jump at the sensation.

"Ah, okay. I'll sit. Not touching you, baby."

Your arms fold against your body and you lean back into the couch with a sob. It's so stupid. It's all just so stupid. You try to wipe away the tears quickly, but more keep coming. You're a mess to look at.

Quest sits quietly nearby, oddly stiff. You still can't meet his gaze. But you can feel it burning into you.

After a few moments, you calm down -- you aren't good, but you're good enough. You lower your arms from your face and gingerly fold your hands on your lap.

Quest then turns to look away from you, probably finally sensing that you don't want to be looked at right now. You're calming down, so, he can look away anyway. He's still worried, though.

But you want him there... you want to feel him next to you. With a shaky breath, you lean over and rest against his arm. When you reach forward and take his hand in yours, he squeezes back firmly. A quiet "It's okay, I'm here."

He traces your skin with his thumb. "Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Okay, we don't have to-"

"But I'm going to." Might as well. You're here in the mud already. Might as well not risk the chance of dirtying yourself again.

You grit your teeth, take a deep breath, and tell him. Tell him everything. The way SB used to take advantage of you, the danger you felt at times, and the fear that has ever since been carved into your chest. As you speak, Quest doesn't say anything. He nods, careful not to interrupt, and lets you say your piece. Your emotional, sloppy, but important piece.

When you reach the end, you finally glance up at him. He's staring straight ahead, jaw clenched tight and brows knitted together.

You say his name. "What are you thinking?"

He doesn't respond for a moment, instead vying to lift your hand to his lips for a small kiss. He holds it there, reverently, before slowly letting your hand fall to his lap, still held tightly by him.

"I'm thinking a lot, Angel," he says, carefully. "But I don't think they're very helpful thoughts."

"I want to hear it, anyway. Please?"

He sighs and finally turns to look at you again. His eyes search yours, -- are they a little red? Had he been crying, too?

"I'm disgusted that that happened to you. I'm sorry I wasn't there."

"You don't have to-"

"Because if I was there, he would be six feet under by now."

The venom stuns you a bit. You're not used to hearing Quest speak like that. It tweaks your heart, but it's not painful.

You cry a little and Quest places a hand on your cheek, expression fierce. "He would be. I would have made it hurt, too. I want to make it hurt."

"Quest--"

"I'm not stupid. I'm not going to do anything." His thumb strokes a tear away. "But I can't deny that I really, really want to."

He holds you there for a moment before pulling you onto his lap for an enveloping hug. Your arms wrap tightly around him and you bury your face in his neck.

His arm is wrapped around your back, another cradling your head against him -- shaking a bit, too. He's crying with you.

"I'm so, so sorry Angel." He hugs you tighter against him. "I've got you. Nobody can do that to you again, okay?"

You nod into him and he nods back. Both of you sit there in silence for a couple minutes, holding onto each other.

Quest is the one to finally speak first. He asks you if you're hungry, he'll make anything you want. You ask for pasta. He says of course. He holds your hand as you stand up from the couch, and doesn't let go of it for the rest of the night.

[naomikozura]

Playing With Fire: Chapter 8

Jason Todd (Red Hood) x Fem!Reader (Criminal)

Trope: Enemies to Lovers, Forbidden Romance

Warnings: strong language, mentions of explosives/bombs, use of weapons/guns, mentions of murder, angst, emotional trauma, mentions of killing someone, arguments, emotional turmoil, plotting, mentions of robbery, kidnapping, and abuse, flashbacks (lmk if I missed any!)

WC: 7.5K

Summary: As you prepare for a meeting with Sionis, you can't help the memories of the past that flood your mind, reliving moments you never thought would be so distant. You feel a sense of regret, something you haven't felt in a long time, wondering where did everything go wrong? And when did everything start to get worse?

Series Masterlist

Chapter 7 || Chapter 9

The sound of Joker’s maniacal laugh broke out into the room once again. You found yourself sitting on the couch, a bored expression on your face, as Joker continued to taunt Sionis’ guards. You could see the glint of fear in their eyes but their training in high profile security made them barely have a reaction. Minus the new hire who got punched in the face by Sionis. He seemed a lot jumpier than the other new guards he’d contracted. 

You watched as Sionis conducted his usual meeting, this time focusing more on Joker’s psychotic idea of a plan, and using all the information necessary to lure Red out of hiding. Sionis thought it genius, you thought of it as overkill. 

You turned, looking out the window and taking in the darkness of the city. It was late, Penguin had sent you to work with Sionis for the time being, not knowing when his next job would come up so it was good to get payment even if it was through the bastard. 

“So when can we get this moving forward?”, Sionis’ deep voice sounded irritated, but you knew he was just impatient. He wanted results a month ago, hell since Red first started to make hits on his operations. He hated losing money so the fact that he’d lost millions over the course of three months made him dangerous and craved the sight of Red’s dead body. 

A pull in your gut made you wallow in your thoughts. Your fight with Red entered your mind, wondering how everything turned bad so fast. Your pride refused to let you admit that you overreacted, that he was just trying to help. But the last time you let someone try helping you they ended up abandoning you. You couldn’t help but be cautious. Even if it meant reacting completely out of character. 

“Give me a week, maybe two. I'll think of something and then I can get my fun started up”, the smile faded, perhaps it’d been the first time you’d seen Joker without that stupid smirk. “Though, I think it’ll be more fun without her involved.”

Your eyes met Joker’s, narrowing at him as he pointed at you. You sat up, pushing yourself out of the chair and stretching.

“Sounds like a plan.”, you mocked before Sionis snapped his glare at you, his eyes darkening. Although he hated that you rejected him so casually, he knew you were an asset to this more than anything. 

“Sit down.” he threatened. “You’re here for a reason.”

You rolled your eyes before plopping back down into the seat. You didn’t even need to be here. Not at Sionis Industries, not even in Gotham. Still, you wanted to see what exactly they were trying to do, regardless of how you felt about it personally. 

“I think this will be fun, even with you involved.”, Joker sneered. “In fact, I’ll find a special part for you to play!”

“I don’t want a special part in your dumb game.”, you muttered. 

“Oh you’re feisty!”, he clapped. “I love this already.”

God, you couldn’t believe you were really sitting in a room full of men having to listen to them go over a plan and address you like some after thought. You turned around, letting their conversation blend into the background as you sat around for another hour. When they finally finished, you got up and left. 

It was almost 4am. 

You needed to get some sleep, try to get some sleep, but you’d felt waves of insomnia crash into you as the days went by. You tried drinking tea, medicine, everything to get you back on a normal schedule but it felt like your body was going through every possible loop to keep you from having a comfortable night of rest. 

You walked around your apartment, walking to the restroom to finish getting ready to try and sleep when you looked over at the duffel bags in the closet. You still haven't touched the money. Hadn’t started to slowly deposit it or even used it for anything. You couldn’t bring yourself to use the money. Even though you had done the work to deserve the payout, a piece of you still refused to use it.

Shaking your head, you changed into a cami and shorts, trying to ignore the thoughts in your head before they quickly came back. You pulled your hair into a ponytail, your neck exposed as you stared at yourself in the mirror. You ran a hand over your neck, the lingering of Red’s touch evident on your skin. You had small bite marks that had started to bruise, not too dark but slowly fading. As much as you tried to ignore the little chips he made at your armor, you couldn’t keep them at bay forever. Your skin felt like it was on fire, the blush creeping up your neck as you turned, moving away from the exposure the mirror gave to the marks on your skin. 

You let your body fall on the bed, the sheets cool on your skin as you stare at the ceiling, letting your argument get to you again. You turned towards the window, laying relaxed against the sheets and breathing in the natural smell of your apartment. It smelled like sage and lavender, a relaxing and calming aroma that allowed you to feel a sense of relief. Though, the emptiness you felt in your chest at the moment provided you no sense of relief, it made you heavy with remorse. 

Your pride, your anger, your trauma, it all made you react towards Red in a way you wished you hadn’t. He was trying to help you, trying to understand, and you just pushed him away. You had your reservations about everything having to do with him but somehow, over the weeks, it all changed. You convinced yourself you let him live because of your hatred towards Sionis, but once Sionis was removed from the picture entirely you couldn’t bring yourself to come up with reasons to dislike him. Especially not after the Gala. 

Regardless of his family, he still treated you like an equal. In midst of all the fights, the arguing, the hits, the targeting, he knew you were talented, strong, smart, quick, and he respected you in a way not many men in this life could openly admit they did. It made him stand out in a way regardless of the fact that he was another vigilante running around on the street wreaking havoc. 

You let yourself fall into sleep, watching as the darkness consumed your body and whispered a lullaby of reassurance, leaving you feeling the warmth of  the night. 

“Calvi finally agreed to come over to our side of business.”, Penguin’s voice sounded as he shifted through the papers on his desk. You looked up at him from the filing cabinet as you looked for specific paperwork he needed to follow up with an investor on one of his businesses. You pulled the file, skimming the contents, before walking over to his desk and setting it down gently. 

“When did he confirm his new alliance?”

“Just a few days after the Gala. Said he wanted to get more insight on our operation and agreed whenever you put mention of my name on the table. Said he’d rather have business investments that will benefit his own businesses while having protection than just having bare minimum protection.”, you hummed in response. It made sense. Calvi always wanted to ensure his businesses were kept under top security, himself included considering his ties within the underground. He hadn’t reached out to you for a few days, probably working on his own business needs but a part of you was glad you wouldn’t have to deal with him again. Although he looked the part of the ideal partner, he was far from it and not the thing you wanted. 

“I don’t have anything new for you, so just stick with Sionis until something comes up”, a piece of you felt a tug of annoyance at having to work with Sionis so closely, but you only nodded. You continued to help him fix his paperwork, getting a few miniscule things finished before heading home for the night. 

“I think I can wrap up. You can go ahead.”, Penguin motioned as you watched him intently. He’d been a lot less busy, but then again, it was slow season at the Lounge and the majority of his efforts were spent helping Sionis catch Red. Another pang of emotion hit you in the gut, making your hands twitch slightly before you pulled them back. “Be careful, it’s supposed to down pour tonight.”

You nodded as you walked to your locker, putting everything away before you went home for the evening. You slid on the jacket you brought with you to cover you from the rain. It’d started to rain a lot more this week, which didn’t make it convenient considering you had walked today. A cab might be the better option to avoid the water, but you decided against it, especially on this side of town. 

You pulled the hood over your head, grabbing your bag and leaving the Lounge as you walked through the streets. It was only 7pm so the light was still out but the clouds made it seem a lot later than it actually was. You couldn’t really bring yourself to focus on anything this week, you needed to snap into focus before tomorrow. You needed to complete the job, letting your mind wander to a million different things would keep you from completing your work. 

The streets were filled with people trying to get home, most of them wearing raincoats or with umbrellas, cars filling the streets as you heard the distant rumble of the sky as the thunder sounded out. It had started raining more, especially considering that Gotham wasn’t usually in rain season this time of the year. Then again, the rain and gloomy clouds added to the ambiance of the city. It seemed fitting for a place like Gotham. 

You found yourself nearing your apartment, looking up to take in the look of the sky before continuing towards your building. You had gotten soaked, your bag was luckily covered in a material that was partially rain resistant, so it wouldn’t get your personal things wet, regardless they were replaceable so it didn’t make you worry too much. 

Navigating through the people who lived in your area seemed easy enough, but it had gotten a lot more crowded since the rents had dropped. More people were moving in and that meant there would be more people wandering around your complex. You tried to push through the people, and even though it wasn’t crowded, a body still hit your shoulder. You push back, snapping around you trying to yell at the person who’d bumped into you only for the words to die in your mouth.

Your eyes widened at the sight of Red in front of you. No mask, no suit. Just dark jeans, an oversized hoodie, and his body drenched in water. His eyes stared at yours in a widened glance, the rain falling around both of you and the people moving around your frozen bodies. You met his green eyes, silent as you stared at him in shock. 

Why was he on this side of town?

You didn’t have time for this, you couldn’t talk to him, not like this. You turned towards the streets that led to your home before you felt a hand wrap around your wrist, pulling you back as your head swiveled around to look at him again. 

“Y/n.”, was all he said because just like you, he couldn’t find anything to say. He wanted to talk, wanted to apologize but his pride and ego made him feel small. He had no right to ask for you to hear him out. Yet, he didn’t let go of your wrist. “Please”

You look at the ground, narrowing your eyes and furrowing your brows, trying to find the words to say to him in the middle of your anger, in the midst of your disappointment. 

“I.. I’m sorry.”, he said as the rain covered his words, the downpour made it difficult to hear him but you heard the words clear as day. You felt a tug in your chest. 

“I have to go.”, you tried pulling away but he kept you still, pulling down his hood and letting you see him fully. His hair was overly saturated with water and his clothes were far more drenched than yours were. You had tried staying in covered spaces while on your walk home to minimize getting soaked but you ended up with wet clothes anyway. 

“Y/n, I mean it.”, he breathed. “I’m sorry for the other night.”

You clenched your teeth, tightening your jaw as he continued. “I shouldn’t have said what I did that day. I know you’ve tried everything to get to where you are and even if you don’t realize it, you’re worth far more than any of those lowlives. Even if you don’t accept my apology or never talk to me again, I just wanted to say I’m sorry for that night.”

“Yeah”, you whispered. 

“I..”, his other hand fisted as he forced himself to say his next words. “Even if you don’t believe me, I know what it’s like to not have control or power. I know why you do the things you do, you had no other choice. I didn’t have another choice either. It’s not that you haven’t figured it out, you have. That’s why you’re leaving.”

Your lachrymose eyes met his dark ones, showing his honesty in every one of his words. 

“I hope you find what you’re looking for wherever you go.”, he smiled weakly. “I hope it’s better than here.”, he let go of your hand, relaxing as he watched you intently. You couldn’t bring yourself to say anything to him. He was finally understanding why you’d worked with Penguin, why you put up with Sionis, why you struggled to find a way out of the city that took everything from you. You had no reason to stay, and even if there was a sliver of reason, it didn’t exist anymore. It hadn’t existed in years. 

You turned away from him, the echo of his words ringing in your ears as the volume spoke over the cracking of the thunder. 

“Is it worth it?”

His words held a double meaning. You paused, contemplating a response as you read between the lines far too quickly. 

Is this worth giving yourself up for?

The weight of his question lingered in the air, a haunting reminder of the sacrifices made and the dreams that you were forced to abandon. You faced the storm, the wind whipping around you, and felt the chill of uncertainty seeping into your bones. The city behind you, with its tangled webs and broken promises, had always been a place of struggle and compromise. With his words ringing through the winds, you questioned if all the work you’d done, the price you paid, was it all worth it for that freedom you’d always dreamt of?

Deep down, you wanted to believe that it was worth it, that all of this had been for something and not just a broken dream you were trying so hard to mend. You already lost so much, given up pieces of yourself for people like Penguin and Sionis, and in the end you were scared you’d end up with nothing. 

The storm raged on, but within you, a quiet resolve began to take shape. You took a deep breath, turning your gaze back towards him one last time. The truth in his eyes was undeniable—he understood more than anyone could. You could see the reflection of your own doubts in his dark gaze, and with a nod of silent understanding, you gave him the answer he needed. 

Even if it was a lie. 

“Yes,” you finally said, though the words were barely audible over the wind of the storm. And with that, you walked away, leaving him behind and moving towards the darkness of your apartment. 

The next morning was busy as you walked through the streets, letting your mind wander and getting a few errands finished before meeting with Sionis tonight. You were called in to get the information you needed to help carry out Joker’s plan, though you knew you’d find a way out of it entirely. 

Your mind couldn’t help but go back to Red, the entire fight with him just eating at you. You felt a sting in your chest at his words the other day, a big piece of you regretting that fight entirely. You knew he meant well, but you didn’t live in a position to give others the benefit of the doubt. It was kill or be killed, the most crucial game of survival and you were playing it to your fullest extent. You weren’t going to let yourself be caught in a web that would lead to your demise. 

As you walked past a small restaurant, you lingered, watching a young couple sitting together as they smiled at one another. You’d wondered if that was why your life could be like if you’d just…. stayed with the family. If Robin had stayed around.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Flashback

“Rob, come on, let’s go try this new cafe I saw”

“Okay, okay. Relax we got all day.”, Robin muttered, a piece of you excited to try the cafe that had just opened. 

“I think this will be fun”, you smile at him, his smirk spreading across his lips as you tugged him with you, his eyes hidden behind bud signature dark glasses. 

“So, is this considered our first date?”, he teased as he caught up to your speed, his hand lacing in yours as he smiled down at you from the height difference. He was dressed in dark jeans, a loose fitting dark shirt and a jacket over top, his hair messy as always.

“I don’t know, if I don’t know what you look like wouldn’t it be a blind date?”, you cocked your head slightly. 

“I think that only counts if you’ve never met the person before. We already know each other”, he raised an eyebrow. 

“Well until you show me what you look like, we can call these friendly dates.”

“You see me as a friend?”, Robin raised a hand to his chest, “I’m honored”

You shoved him slightly, letting your hair fall in your face as you laughed at him. 

The two of you normally would meet at night, so going out during the day was a big move for both of you, especially considering you were publicly hanging out with someone when you never had before. It was him. He made you disregard any type of snide comments anyone could make. He knew about the people at Gotham Academy that would make fun of you, wishing he could make it stop but you went to different schools. So, his company was good enough to forget all about those other students. 

It was warm, spring time was nice in Gotham sans the rain, making the day nice to walk around the streets and take in the city through a day time lense. 

You leaned into him, grabbing his arm as you sank into his presence. It was nice having someone you could talk to about everything, especially someone like him. You felt like someone could finally see you, understood you, someone finally… cared.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The slight breeze blew your hair from your face as you moved through the crowds of people, the busy streets of Gotham a stark contrast to the inner turmoil you had going on. The towering buildings loomed above, casting long shadows that seemed to mirror the darkness you felt inside. You checked the time on your phone again, knowing you still had a few hours before your meeting with Sionis.

Regret gnawed at you, an unwelcome feeling since your last encounter with Red. You could still see the hurt in his eyes, a flicker of betrayal that cut deeper than any physical wound. You hadn’t meant for things to go that way, but your pride wouldn’t let you back down. You were too afraid to show weakness, too afraid to let him see how scared you were to let someone in. 

You wondered if he’d be the one who could’ve won you over, could’ve made you lower your walls and let yourself feel what it was like to just be a normal person in this godforsaken city. A piece of you wondered if he was thinking about you too. Did he also feel like there was something unresolved? Did he think about the fight? Was he also regretting it? Did it hurt him like it hurt you?

You let out a shaky breath, letting your thoughts spiral and holding on to the hope that maybe, just maybe, you could fix things between the two of you. Should you find him, send him a signal to meet at the rooftop you’d always see each other at? You looked at the ground as you walked through the streets, taking a deep breath and moving through the crowd. 

You needed to get home, it would be soon that you’d have to meet with Sionis and Joker, you needed to focus. As you walked through the streets, the city swallowed you up once more, but the regret remained, a silent whisper in the back of your mind.

Flash back 

The warm breeze rustled through the trees as you and Robin moved through the hidden paths of Gotham’s hidden, less known parks. This was one of the few days they would go out together, knowing they could finally get away from only seeing each other at night. You enjoyed moments during the day a lot more, you felt like he did too but never asked, it seemed a lot more normal. The both of you reached a secluded pond, the sun making the water glisten in a golden glow. 

You kicked off your shoes, walking to the water to dip your feet in, smiling at the warmth of the water. You turned over to Robin who stood staring at you with a smile on his face. “Come on, come feel the water.” 

He shook his head slightly, bending over and rolling up his jeans, proceeding to take off his shoes before walking next to you. “You know, I don’t think Batman would approve of this.”

“You care too much about what he thinks.”, you teased. “Besides, Batman isn’t here, is he? It’s just you and me.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”, he shrugged. “He can be a bit controlling sometimes but I know he means well.”

You hummed in response, looking down at the water surrounding your feet, your reflections staring right back at you. The silence covered both of you like a blanket of comfort and tranquility. Sometimes the both of you were more than content not speaking, it was what made you like hanging out with him, he didn’t fear the quiet. 

“Y/n”, he said finally after what felt like forever. “What do you want to do once you finish everything? You know, if both of us ever get the chance to leave Gotham?”

“I don’t know.”, you looked at the water, your eyes focused on the ripples that slowly formed from you moving your weight to be distributed evenly. “I’d like to travel, move to another city, anything to make everything feel more normal.”

“Yeah,” he breathed. “We can go to another city and just forget Gotham. Just you and me.”, 

You smiled at him as he looked at you with a warm smile, the kind of warmth that leaves you feeling like everything would be okay no matter how difficult times got. He always made you feel okay no matter what. 

The silence came over you again, the trees surrounding both of you, creating a tranquil and calming background. You felt Robin intertwined his fingers into yours, this thumb rubbing the back of your hand as he turned towards you. “Promise me something.”, he said softly, his hair falling over his forehead. 

“Anything.”, you replied, turning to face him. 

“Promise me that no matter what happens, you'll find a way to be happy. Even if it's without me."

Your heart tightened at his words, squeezing his hand in yours. "I promise, but only if you promise the same."

He smiled, a bittersweet expression that hinted at the weight he carried. "I promise."

You felt your heart beat faster, letting yourself soak in the moment before the both of you went back to your home. As you walked back in silence, you couldn’t stop smiling, wanting these moments to never end. Always wanting them with him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You looked out at the city below from your window sill, the quiet rush of the cars below adding to the ambiance of the afternoon. You felt a heaviness in your heart, the memory of that day in the park was as vivid as ever. The promise you made to Robin, to be happy even if it was without him, it stung knowing you wouldn’t be happy with him. You tried finding the good from the bad, tried to find happiness in the middle of all the shitty hands you’d been dealt over the years, but that gaping hole in your chest made it hard to go on. You felt a piece of you just got ripped from your chest and you were left to walk through the world with a heart broken. 

You reached up to play with the small pendant on your necklace, the silence letting you sit with your thoughts. How do you open up to anyone the way you did with him after he left? After he made you feel like you were worth everything to being left feeling like nothing. You clung to the memory of your laughter, your dreams, and your unspoken love, even as the world around you grew darker. You knew you had started to feel stronger feelings than just like towards him, you both were just teenagers but you knew deep down he was more than just someone who would stay for a short while. You knew he’d be long term. 

Believed. 

Because he just wasn’t anymore. He wasn’t long term nor was he anything more than a memory. You turned to get ready for your meeting with Sionis and Joker, wiping the stray tear that fell down your cheek as you let your walls build back up into a fortress of solitude, mentally preparing for the night ahead. You couldn’t let your past haunt you, but with the way you’d been acting towards Red, it was like all of those memories just flooded back, explaining why you’d been so short, cold, distant. Still, weakness wasn’t an option. Not in Gotham. Not with the life you’d chosen. But in the walls of your apartment, the walls of your bedroom, you’d let yourself break. You’d give yourself those moments of weakness to endure the pain you’d never truly healed from, the hurt of being abandoned so easily just like everyone else in her life had done to her, it all only happened in the confines of your apartment. You’d let yourself reminisce, let yourself look back on the memories allowing yourself to find a sliver of happiness in the promises you once made with Robin. 

The promises you’d made to each other. 

Even if he broke all of his. 

Flashback 

The sun dipped slowly behind the Gotham skyline, casting a golden hue over the rooftop where you and Robin sat. You laughed as you watched him balance himself on the ledge of the building, his street clothing not providing much balance since his pants were baggy and it looked like he almost tripped over himself. 

“You’re going to fall, you know.”, you called out, shaking your head but smiling at him nonetheless.

“Not a chance.”, he replied with a grin before effortlessly hopping down to sit beside you. “That would be major ego damage considering I’m a literal sidekick to the city’s most known vigilante.”

You rolled your eyes at him, “Yeah, and then Batman would have to fire you. The news would eat that up.”, you lifted your hands and made a headline motion. “Breaking News: Batman fires the Boy Wonder, the reason? Lack of balance and coordination.”

He nudged you as the both of you laughed, his smile was warm and sweet, making your heart flutter at how he looked so handsome in such a casual setting. You laid back, looking at the clouds as they started to turn into a golden color due to the sunset, letting the warm weather sink into your skin. Robin turned his head towards you, his expression softening at your laid back demeanor, 

“Tell me something.”, he said softly. 

“Huh?”, you turned towards him, cocking an eyebrow in confusion. 

“Tell me something you’ve never told anyone else.”, he repeated, his eyes filled with curiosity as you looked at him. 

“What? No, you first.”, you nudged him.

He turned his head back towards the sky, taking in a deep breath and taking a moment to think. “"I used to be afraid of the dark. Crazy, right? Gotham's full of shadows, and I'm out there every night."

You laughed softly. "Not crazy at all. I used to be scared of thunderstorms. The noise, the flashes of light—it was scary as hell. Especially being on the street and hearing people screaming. It all felt so overwhelming."

He reached out, taking your hand in his. "We're not so different, are we?"

You squeezed his hand, feeling a warmth spread through your chest. "No, I guess we're not."

The dim light of your restroom mirror cast a soft glow on your skin as you pulled your hair out of the towel it was in, drying it before having to head out to Sionis Industries for your meeting with Sionis and Joker. You watched yourself as you dried your hair with the blow dryer quickly, letting your hair sit on your neck still a bit damp as you applied some makeup. Although you didn’t need much, you still liked wearing it. It gave you more confidence, made you more bold. You applied mascara gently, watching yourself as you pulled back from leaning over the sink. Your eyes held a trace of melancholy—a reflection of the memories that never quite left you.

You quickly changed into a pair of dark jeans that fit your body perfectly, the black tee paired with it as you pulled on your leather jacket. You did a final look in the mirror before feeling good enough to head out, your mind still in shambles as you left through the window and to your bike in the alley below. 

The streets weren’t too busy tonight, but it was still early. Having a meeting at 9pm seemed strange enough as it is, most times Sionis liked to call them in the middle of the day or in the middle of the night. You wondered why he would call for such an early time, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. 

Arriving at Sionis Industries was easy enough, it would be dealing with Sionis and his disgusting self that would pose as the greatest difficulty. Out of anything, you could always expect for him to try and convince you to work for him or be his. Something you would always deny. 

What else could possibly happen that would surprise you?

You walked through the building, using the access card to swipe into the door and reach the elevator that brought you to Sionis’ office. The guards nodded towards you before opening the door and letting you in, Sionis immediately skimming your body as he smirked, Joker lounging on the sofa as a twisted smile played on his lips. 

“Y/n”, Sionis greeted you, his tone serious but also had a hint of amusement. “Finally here,”

Joker’s eyes watched you with curiosity and mischief as he smiled at you. “Aren’t you dressed up all nice?”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes, grabbing a chair and plopping down in it as you crossed your legs and sitting opposite of them. “Alright. What are we here for?”

“Relax lambchop, we’ll figure it out soon enough.”, Joker laughed maniacally as you narrowed your eyes at him. “I have a good idea of what to do, let’s hope it’s just as fun in action as it is in my head.”

Great. You knew he was about to explain this in intense detail. Joker was one for theatrics so you wouldn’t put it past him to create a whole idea of how exactly every part of his stupid plan would go. 

Joker leaned forward, his eyes full of an unsettling mix of mischief and madness. “Alright, picture this: we’re going to execute a plan so chaotic, so beautifully disorganized that it will make every other plan look like a kindergarten craft project.”

He paused for dramatic effect, his grin stretching wider. “We’re going to use a high-profile, yet subtle diversion to grab Batman’s attention. Something that screams ‘look at me’ but doesn’t blow up in our faces. I’m thinking of something like an orchestrated crime spree—a series of high-impact, carefully staged incidents across Gotham.” Joker leaned back, his eyes gleaming with unrestrained excitement as he began laying out the details of his plan. 

You raised an eyebrow. “And these incidents?”

Joker waved a hand dismissively. “Oh, just a series of carefully planned heists and disturbances. Let’s say a jewelry store robbery where the ‘thieves’ leave behind a trail of glittering jewels as a calling card. A string of arson cases where the buildings are left untouched, but the flames form a message. Something flashy enough to make Batman’s ears perk up, but not so catastrophic that it draws every law enforcement officer in the city.”

“And the goal is to get Batman’s attention. Then what?”, you were not following his stupid plan at all. How did Red fit into this? He was the goal not Batman. 

“Exactly!” Joker’s grin was nearly maniacal. “Once Batman is sufficiently distracted by the chaos we’re creating, we set the real trap. The key is to make sure he’s lured into a specific area—a rundown warehouse on the edge of town. It’s got the right amount of isolation and drama for a grand showdown.”

Joker paused for effect, letting the anticipation build. “The warehouse will be rigged with a variety of surprises. Hidden cameras, explosives, and a few more ‘enhancements’ to ensure that once the Bat shows up, he’s not just dealing with one problem. No, no, he’ll be dealing with a carefully orchestrated mess.”

“And Red Hood? How does he fit into this?”

Joker’s eyes sparkled. “Well all of this is for us to lure Hoodie out. He’s at arms with the Bats, so if we get the Bat’s attention, we get the Hood’s!”

Sionis glared daggers at Joker, his patience visibly fraying. “You think this is a joke? I need this done, Joker. I don’t have time for your little games.”

Joker’s grin didn’t falter. “Oh, I’m not joking. Trust me, this will be a grand spectacle. We get Batman involved, and the Hood will come crawling out of his hole just to join the fray. It’s like a free-for-all, and everyone loves a good free-for-all.”

Sionis’s eyes narrowed. 

“And what if Batman doesn’t show? Or worse, what if they both decide to focus on you?”, you spoke up, not wanting to see another one of Sionis’ fits. 

Joker chuckled. “Then we get a front-row seat to the greatest showdown Gotham has ever seen. Either way, the plan is to ensure that your problem, Red Hood, becomes nonexistent—preferably permanently.”

You leaned back in your chair, considering the chaos Joker was proposing. “Alright, assuming this works and we draw out the Hood. What’s the plan for getting rid of him?”

“Ah, that’s where the real artistry comes in,” Joker said, his eyes twinkling with mischief. “We’ll set up a little stage for our confrontation—somewhere dramatic, like an old warehouse. And when the time’s right, we’ll make sure the Hood gets a front-row seat to his own demise.”

Sionis ran a hand over his mouth, clearly stressed with Joker’s plan. 

“All I need is a couple of explosives, maybe find a good bank to rob just to draw him out a little. Something unexpected but also predictable. It’ll bring him out for sure.”

“We don’t have time or money to waste on a stupid bank robbery! I need him to come out and I need you to kill him. That’s what I paid your bond for, not to play dress up!”, Sionis slammed his fist on the table, finally snapping as Joker staring at him with a deadpan face as he picked at his nails. 

“You’re irritable today.”

“I’m losing more money every minute this son of a bitch is out on the street, so yes. I am irritable today. Everyday!”, the clipped sound of his tone made it obvious that Sionis was over Joker’s antics, but you couldn’t care less. If anyone deserved to be toyed with it was Sionis, especially him. 

“Take it easy, I got it under control.”, and suddenly Joker smiled like he got a new thought into his delusional mind. “It’ll be fun”

“I want someone’s head on my wall and it’s either gonna be the Red headed bastard or yours. If this doesn’t work I’m sawing your fucking head off.”, a ringing echoed through the room as Sionis stood to his feet, walking out of the room as some of his guards followed him out. 

The silence left you a bit uneasy, but it was the Joker who left you on edge more than anything else. The rest of the guards stepped outside, leaving only two inside the room as you watched Joker play with the materials on Sionis’ desk. You wondered for a split second what could have made Joker be so inhuman, so out of touch, so… psychotic. You’d always heard stories about his lack of care or empathy, or any regular human thinking. He was too far gone, more so than any other criminal within Gotham or other cities. He was one of the heavy hitters, one of the most dangerous. If you didn’t work with Penguin and be under his protection, you would fear him a little more than you did now. 

Still, caution was never overdone when it came to people like him. 

“So, do you think this plan will actually help lure him out?”, you knew where he was, but that wasn’t information for you to share. Not like you would have anyway. 

“I think it’ll get him motivated.”, Joker leaned back in his chair, his movements staying controlled as he looked at the ceiling. “Besides, the bank robbery isn’t the only thing that will get him out.”

You cocked an eyebrow at him. “What else then? Using Batman?”

“No, I have a trip down memory lane planned for us, something that will surely make him feel… nostalgic.”.

Nostalgia… 

What did he mean?

“Going back to old practices?”, you started to feel on edge, but covered it with indifference and annoyance. Though the annoyance was actually peeking through with every mysterious, open ended phrase he said. It made you want to punch him in the face. 

“No, I want to talk about our estranged relationship. I miss when he and I could play around and talk about life. I had my fun with him before, I think we’re over due for a reunion. It’ll be time for round two.”

“Round two?”, that piqued your interest, his entire spiel did. “You’ve gone head to head with him before?”

“We met for the first time maybe…. Five? No, six years ago. He wasn’t this stupid Hood character back then, but let me say, he had no originality back then either. He just stole someone else’s suit like now and made it his own.”

“Maybe he just likes to be a copycat. Can’t blame him, it’s easy to take over once someone is out of the picture. Reinventing the villain, you know.”, you rolled your eyes, annoyed that you were even entertaining him like this. Though a part of you wanted to know how exactly Joker and Red had met before. Was Red the reason Joker got put into Arkham?

“Reinventing is so boring. At least now it’s fun because I can kill him again!”

“Again?”, your brows furrowed. Joker.. killed Red?

Some of you found it hard to believe, another part wouldn’t believe it because if Red died, he would be about six feet under, not parading around the streets of Gotham looking to kill Joker. 

“I killed him once before but it was far more fun then. Didn’t even know it was him until I realized he was also going after the Bats!”

“If he’s supposed to be dead, how is he alive?”, you mocked. 

“I don’t know how he’s alive, but it doesn’t matter. He won’t be that way much longer.”

You crossed your arms, still looking at him from where he sat before turning and looking out the window at the city. 

“So, how did you kill him?”, you asked more out of genuine curiosity than care but still wanted to know more about Red. What you could from anyone that wasn’t him. 

“I blew him up!”, Joker’s hands made an exploding motion before he leaned forward and laughed. “Oh, I tied him up and beat him with a crowbar. He just laid there and took it like a champ! I must say it was boring, wish he would have fought a little more but hey, it was a fun party.”

“Was this before you were imprisoned in Arkham?”

“Wayyy before.”, he smiled at you with a maniacal smile before grabbing a pencil and messing with it. “I think it was around spring time, maybe April. Oh but it was snowing so who’s to say if it was actually in April.”

April… 

You looked at him, the tiniest sliver of realization clicking in your head. 

Six years ago…. April…

“So what, did he go by the Crimson Helmet or something stupid?”, you leaned on the desk slightly as you watched him, slowly losing patience in him and the conversation. 

“No, it was something funnier, like an animal or something.”

You raised an eyebrow at him . This man truly was delusional; he couldn't even remember the name of someone who’d given him this much trouble before. You rolled your eyes, finally getting away from the maniac and heading home.

“What was it…”, he muttered to himself. You pushed yourself off the desk, annoyed with the conversation as you walked towards the door, his words still ringing out. You wanted to sleep. You’d been here all night with them and this had gotten nowhere. Not to mention the rain was about to come down for the third time this week and you did not want to get caught in the rain again. 

“Rabbit… Rocket…”, he continued.

As you reached for the door, Joker stood in realization, his voice ripping through the silence as he laughed. You turned to look at him as he ran hands through his messy green hair and sucked in deep breaths to keep up with his laughter. Your hand was about to open the door before his voice forced you to pause. 

“I remember!”, he raised his voice. “He went by the Boy Blunder. The Bat’s little sidekick!”

You froze. 

Cold water dousing your skin, ice running through your veins. You felt the pit of your stomach drop as his words echoed within the walls of the room. Your heart was pounding in your chest, you felt your vision get hazy, your ears ringing in shock and disbelief as you slowly turned to look at Joker. He was still standing, his hands still through his hair as he walked over to the window and looking out. 

“Oh I remember, his bones cracked and he couldn’t talk, I’m guessing from all the blood in his collapsed lung and I broke a few ribs. He was far more rude than the first Boy Blunder, at least he had some manners.”

You felt the knife in your gut twist more with every word. The sinking realization flooding your body. The roof, the necklace, the earrings, the painting, the endless times he’d move you out of getting hurt, the way he refused to make any hit that would result in serious injury, the way he knew things about you that you’d never told him, after months…it all clicked. 

“You.. killed Batman’s sidekick?”

Joker’s wicked smile spread over his face, the skin stretching in a macabre and frightening way as he recalled the events of that night in the warehouse.

“Yes.”, he said in a dark, evil tone as his laugh cracked through the silence of the room. “And I can’t wait to do it again.”

A/N:

Hi everyone! I hope you've all had a great week and have had a good summer so far! Here is the next chapter! It's finally getting towards the ending, I think we have a handful of chapters before the series ends! Don't worry, I'm making sure it wraps up nicely!

Also I am also working on another mini series! Its a Jujutsu Kaisen mini series thats Sukuna x Reader so check that out if you like JJK!

Please keep the comments and messages coming, I love hearing from you guys!

See you next week xx.

[ushys]

⸻ spider-verse characters reacting to your jealousy

characters: miles, earth-42 miles, miguel, hobie

a/n: i was thinking of making it a story but i thought you making it into little sections with different characters would be better.

cw: fluff, cussing, jealousy, a small mention of killing, gn! reader, that’s it :p

MILES MORALES: he’s kind of oblivious to that kind of thing, which makes it even worse for you. so, when you see him talking to someone who is obviously into him, you’re mad. you’re mad because they’re trying to hit on him and he laughs it off, not knowing their true intentions. it made your blood boil. they would touch his shoulder, laugh a little too hard at his jokes, all that. you walked away and miles noticed this. he said his goodbyes to the other person and chased after you.

“is everything okay babe?” he questioned, brows furrowed as he was confused. “everything’s fine, go talk to your other bae.” you said rolling your eyes and speeding up. “wha? babe what are you talking about- oh. are you jealous?” you stopped and turned to look at him. then you quickly turned around again and said “no.” yup, you were jealous.

“my love, there’s no need to be jealous. they’re just a friend and i would never leave you for them. i don’t even see them like that! i’m sorry for for making you feel this way, i just don’t know what’s wrong and right and i didn’t think they were doing anything weird.” now you felt guilty. “i’m sorry, you didn’t know and i just overreacted.” you later took him to your room and started talking about different ways people hit on others. he made sure to take notes to not upset you ever again.

EARTH 42 MILES: you were on a date with your boyfriend, walking around and looking at different displays that different shops were showing when suddenly, a stranger goes up to him and compliments him. “wow! your jacket is so cute. where did you get it from?” she giggled as she started touching his arm. miles was obviously uncomfortable and shot you a quick glance, watching as your expression went from a content smile to a rude glare towards the girl.

“my bae got it for me.” he replied as he puts his arm around you, holding you close. they quickly change expressions, now having a hurt look on their face. “oh..! haha, i didnt see her there. they’re your s/o..?” they said as he replied instantly. “yeah that’s what i said. why? do you have a problem with that?” “no. whatever. the jacket was ugly anyway.” they said walking past you, purposely bumping into you.

you were about to turn around and confront them but miles stopped you from doing so. “baby, they’re not worth it” he said planting a kiss on your head. “you were jealous weren’t you though?” he smirked as your eyes widen. “nuh uh” “yuh huh” “nuh uh” “it’s okay baby, you’re the only one for me.” he said, making your face warm. “i could never be jealous of them, they’re the one who was jealous. i hate how good looking you are, having to keep going through that” you pouted. “you’re good looking too, you’re ethereal, you get hit on too.” he said, sarcastically rolling his eyes. “but there’s a difference, i talk bad about them, you plan on killing them.” he laughs and shrugs. “oops?”

MIGUEL O’HARA: he would take good care of you, occasionally. his work has been a huge problem between your relationship, you guys could barely hang out a lot. so, to get closer, you decided to join the spider-verse team with him. as his assistant. you were happy he let you be his assistant, even though you practically had to beg him to let you because according to him, “it’s too dangerous” “”you could get hurt” “too much stress”. it’s a good thing that he wanted you to be safe but shouldn’t he let you do what you wanted?

well anyway, as his assistant, your job was to make sure everyone knows what they’re supposed to be doing and helping new members who are joining the spider group feel more comfortable in this new area. so when a new spider-woman joined the team, you knew what you had to do.

“and this is where miguel usually is at! miguel! come down and greet our new member!” you yelled out calling for him. “it’s best if you don’t bother him when you see him doing work, he can get a little.. harsh.” you say as he makes his way towards you. you look at the spider-woman who seems to be biting her lip and smirking. ‘is she okay?’ you thought to yourself as you looked at her and miguel. “welcome, y/n make sure she’s gotten a full tour of the entire building and understands what her job here is.” “oh, but is it okay if you were to help me instead? she’s not that good at explaining things” the woman lied, obviously just trying to get miguel’s attention.

miguel can sense your jealousy as he knew that the woman was trying to hard. he grabbed the woman’s hand, guiding her to another part of the building while he left you there, standing alone, in shock. ‘what?’

after a while, he came back and saw you sitting in your chair next to where he would usually do work at. he walked up to you and questioned you. “is everything all right mi amor?” you ignored him. “amor?” nothing. “silent treatment huh. why is that?” nothing again. “are you okay?” “yeah i’m fine go talk to your other bitch though. ask her if she’s doing fine.” you said, not looking at him and continuing whatever work you were doing. “you were jealous weren’t you.” “no.” “it’s okay mi amor, you don’t have to worry about a thing.” “and why is that” you questioned. “i sent her back to her dimension. she’s never coming back any time soon.”

HOBIE: “babe?” you called out wondering where hobie was. you’ve asked multiple spider-people wondering where he was but they had no idea. until gwen came up to you. “oh hey gwen what’s up? have you seen hobie?” you asked. “oh yeah, i have. that’s what i wanted to tell you. i know where he’s at.” “you do?! oh thank god, i thought he might’ve gone on a mission somewhere and could’ve gotten hurt. so, where is he” you asked, raising an eyebrow. “don’t get mad, because i don’t know much about it, but i’ve seen him walking with someone and i have no clue who they are. i think they’re new. i’ve seen them go into the lunchroom right now. they’re probably still there” someone new huh? that’s weird.

“thank you gwen, i appreciate it.” you hug her as you start walking away. you head to the lunchroom and suddenly you caught eye of hobie with the other person. “who is that?” you whispered. you then saw them getting real touchy with hobie. ‘what the hell are they doing?’ you furrowed your eyebrows, a disgusted look planted on your face. you can see hobie slightly trying to dodge their touches. you let out a small smirk. so, they don’t get the hint that he doesn’t want them.

you started walking up to him and you suddenly appeared next to him. “hello my love.” you planted a small kiss on his cheek, making sure the girl noticed. “hey baby. where have you been?” hobie asked, turning to look at you and putting his arm around your waist. “that’s what i should be asking you, who is this?” you say pointing at the new person, who was clearly furious. they closed her eyes and smiled. “oh! i’m alex! and you are?” they asked, a vein appearing on their forehead. “they’re my s/o.” hobie replied for you. alex slowly opened their eyes and gave you both a blank stare. “oh is that so? sorry to bother you, i’ll be on my way.” they said walking away, not wanting to face the both of you.

“jealous huh?” he said as he smirked at you. “no.” you lied, not wanting to admit it. you were embarrassed. “yeah you were. thank you for saving me. they were making me uncomfortable” he said in a sarcastic tone, even thought what he said was true. “i don’t want anyone taking away what’s mine” you said looking away. “don’t worry, that’s never happening.” he said giving you a kiss on top of your head.

girls next fr 🙈

[lvrdrafts]

The Love That Seemed To Slip Away

★Request: Sorry I didnt know writing fics based on the lyrics was hard 😞 Thanks for trying though ❤️ I have another idea. What if instead of the lyrics , focusing on only bucky's trying to make his gf to hate him since he's gonna go to the most dangerous mission in his life and he thinks he might not be making it this time. Therefore, to save mc from this possible outcome, he's trying to make her hate him.

★ Pairing: Bucky x f!Reader

★ Warnings: Mentions of Torture

★ Genre: Angst/ Fluff

You wake up early, just as the sun is starting to rise, to make coffee for Bucky. It's a ritual you've developed over time, a small but meaningful way to show your love. Bucky always woke up before you to go on runs with Steve while you woke up around 7 to make coffee so that by the time he comes back he has something to look forward to.

The front door creaks open, and Bucky and Steve enter, their breaths slightly labored from their run. As they make their way to the kitchen, you stand ready with Bucky's favorite mug in hand, a comforting smile on your face.

But as he approaches, something feels off. Bucky doesn't meet your gaze; instead, he walks past you, heading straight for the sink to wash up. His demeanor is distant, and he seems lost in his thoughts, as if he's carrying a heavy burden.

You exchange a concerned glance with Steve, who also seems to notice Bucky's unusual behavior. Steve offers a quick nod and a sympathetic look, silently acknowledging that something is amiss.

Bucky finishes washing up and reaches for the coffee pot, pouring himself a cup without a word. He still hasn't looked at you, and the air in the room grows tense with unspoken questions.

After a few awkward moments, Bucky finally speaks, his voice lacking its usual warmth. "Thanks for the coffee," he mumbles, but his words feel distant and empty.

You walked over to him, a small smile on your face, and attempted to engage him in conversation. "How was the run, guys?" you asked, your voice warm and inviting.

Bucky's response was a stony silence. He didn't even glance in your direction, and the discomfort in the room grew palpable. You could sense something was deeply troubling him, and it weighed heavily on your heart.

Steve, noticing Bucky's reluctance to engage in conversation, decided to step in. He offered a reassuring smile and replied on Bucky's behalf, "It was good, Y/N. We had a solid run."

You nodded, trying to hide your concern but failing miserably. Bucky's continued silence was unsettling, and it felt like a wall had been erected between you. It wasn't like him to be so distant and unresponsive.

Desperate to bridge the growing gap, you reached out to touch his arm gently. "Bucky, is something bothering you?" you asked, your concern evident in your voice.

He finally acknowledged your presence, though not in the way you had hoped. Bucky met your gaze, but there was a coldness in his eyes, and his response was indirect and hurtful. "Y/N, maybe you should ease up a bit," he said, his voice tinged with irritation. "I'm fine. You don't need to worry so much."

As Bucky stood up, he turned away from you and walked towards the exit, leaving you feeling hurt and bewildered. The sting of his rejection weighed heavily on your heart, and you fought back tears, struggling to comprehend what had just happened.

Steve, who had been silently observing the exchange, approached you with a sympathetic look. He gently placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder and said, "Y/N, don't take it to heart. Bucky's probably just having a rough day. He'll come around when he's ready to talk."

Trying to shake off the sting of Bucky's behavior, you took a deep breath and tried to convince yourself that perhaps you were overreacting. After all, everyone had off days, and maybe Bucky was simply having one of those moments. You didn't want to appear overly sensitive or needy, so you nodded in response to Steve's words, offering him a small, forced smile.

Steve sighed, clearly conflicted by the situation. "I'm going to go check on him," he said, giving you an apologetic look. "Maybe he just needs some space right now."

As Steve followed Bucky out of the kitchen, you were left feeling hurt and confused, wondering what had caused this sudden rift between you and the man you loved.

★★★

The evening had arrived when you and Bucky had planned to go out for a romantic dinner. It was a few days ago when you'd both set this date, looking forward to some quality time together amidst the chaos of the Avengers' busy lives. You arrived at the restaurant, your heart filled with anticipation, and chose a cozy corner table, softly lit by candlelight.

Time passed, and you checked your watch, noticing that it had been nearly thirty minutes since your reservation. An unsettling feeling began to gnaw at your stomach as you glanced around, hoping to catch a glimpse of Bucky's familiar face.

Just as you were about to reach for your phone to text him, your device rang, displaying Bucky's name on the screen. With a hint of relief, you answered, expecting an apology and an explanation for his tardiness.

"Hey, Bucky," you said, trying to keep your tone light, "where are you? I've been waiting here for a while."

Bucky's voice on the other end sounded distant, and his response sent a wave of disappointment through you. "I'm really sorry, Y/N, but Natasha wants to spar with me for the latest mission, and I can't say no."

Your heart sank, and you couldn't help but feel hurt by his words. You'd been looking forward to this dinner for days, and it felt like he was prioritizing work over your relationship. Trying to mask your disappointment, you asked, "Can't you reschedule the spar with Natasha? This was important to me."

Bucky's response was far from what you had hoped for. "Y/N, stop being so overdramatic," he replied, his tone icy and dismissive. "It's just one dinner. I'll make it up to you."

Tears welled up in your eyes as the weight of his words hit you like a punch to the gut. You never expected him to be so callous, especially when you had been looking forward to spending this time together. "Bucky, this was supposed to be our time," you said, your voice quivering with hurt.

But he didn't seem to care. Bucky simply replied, "I gotta go, Y/N. Natasha's waiting. Bye."

With that, he hung up the phone, leaving you sitting there in the dimly lit restaurant, feeling abandoned and heartbroken. You were left wondering how the man you loved could prioritize a mission over your relationship, and you couldn't help but fear that this was a sign of deeper issues in your connection with Bucky.

★★★

As you walked into the apartment that night, the disappointment from the failed dinner date weighed heavily on your heart. Bucky sat on the couch, his distant expression telling you that something was terribly wrong. You knew you needed to confront him, to get to the bottom of what had gone so awry.

"Bucky," you began, your voice trembling with a mix of anger and hurt, "we need to talk about tonight."

He sighed heavily, his blue eyes meeting mine briefly before he looked away. "I don't think there's much left to say."

"Are you serious?" Your frustration boiled over. "You can't just leave me waiting at a restaurant, call me, and then tell me you're not sure about us anymore, and then run off on a mission without any explanation!"

Bucky's jaw clenched, and he finally met your gaze. "I needed to spar with Nat. It's not just a mission; it's training, and I couldn't say no."

You couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You couldn't say no to her, but you had no problem saying no to me? We had plans, Bucky. Plans that mattered to me."

Tears welled up in your eyes, and your voice trembled as you replied, "Bucky, you could have at least canceled our plans earlier or let me know that something came up. You're leaving me here feeling humiliated."

He seemed to hesitate, the weight of his own emotions showing in his furrowed brow and clenched fists. "I don't know how to explain it, I've been feeling distant, and I'm not sure if I can do this anymore."

His words hit you like a sledgehammer, and your heart sank into a pit of despair. "What do you mean, 'do this anymore'? Bucky, we've been through so much together. We love each other, don't we?"

Bucky's eyes held a coldness you had never seen before, and it sent a shiver down your spine. "I don't think I ever loved you. I used you as a crutch to help me get through my PTSD, to make myself feel better. But now that I'm better I don't need you anymore."

The room seemed to close in on you, the pain and confusion overwhelming. "No, Bucky, you can't mean that. We've shared so much, and I thought we had something real."

But instead of responding, Bucky stood up abruptly, his duffle bag clenched tightly in his hand. His voice was as cold as ice as he said, "I have to go. The mission can't wait."

You watched in stunned silence as he stormed out of the apartment, the door slamming shut behind him. The emptiness that engulfed you was suffocating, and you crumpled to the floor, tears streaming down your face.

★★★

The past month had been a relentless nightmare for you. Bucky had stormed off after that painful confrontation, leaving you in a whirlwind of emotions and confusion. But nothing could have prepared you for the news that followed. Bucky had gone on a dangerous undercover mission with Natasha, and they had both ended up severely injured and captured by the enemy. It felt like the world had crumbled around you.

While the rest of the Avengers were busy with their personal lives and commitments, it was just you and Steve who had rushed to the hospital. Steve paced the sterile corridors with a worried expression etched on his face, occasionally glancing at you as you sat outside the intensive care unit, your heart heavy with concern.

Hours turned into days, and you refused to leave the hospital. You couldn't bear the thought of Bucky and Natasha going through this alone, and your presence seemed to be the only solace you could offer them.

One day, as you were sitting by Bucky's bedside, Steve entered the room, his face a mixture of relief and exhaustion. He approached you, and you could see the weariness in his eyes.

"How's Natasha?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper.

Steve sighed deeply. "She's stable, but she's not awake yet. They say it might be a while before she regains consciousness."

You nodded, your gaze drifting to Bucky, who lay unconscious with various tubes and wires attached to him. He looked so vulnerable, so far removed from the strong and stoic man you had known.

Steve sat down beside you, and his voice was heavy with guilt as he said, "I need to tell you something. Bucky was going undercover on this mission. He was supposed to be captured and tortured to be with the other agents who were captured, to get close to them and help them escape."

Your heart sank as the pieces fell into place. Bucky had been trying to cut off ties with everyone, including Steve, because he wasn't sure if he would make it out alive. It was a heartbreaking revelation, and you couldn't help but feel a surge of anger and sadness.

"Why didn't he tell us?" you whispered, tears welling up in your eyes.

Steve looked at you with empathy. "He didn't want us to get involved, in case things went south. He wanted to protect us."

★★★

As the days turned into weeks, Bucky's recovery showed remarkable progress. It was a sunny morning when you arrived at the hospital room, greeted by the sight of Bucky sitting up in bed, looking much stronger than before. His eyes lit up when he saw you, and a hopeful smile tugged at his lips.

"Y/N," he whispered, his voice still somewhat weak.

But as you gazed into his eyes, you could see the turmoil within him, the guilt and remorse that had weighed him down during his recovery. His lips quivered, and he took a shaky breath before he began to speak.

"I'm so sorry" Bucky choked out, tears streaming down his cheeks. "I never meant to hurt you like this."

You felt your heart ache as you watched him break down, his emotions laid bare before you. "Bucky, it's okay. You don't have to apologize."

Bucky shook his head, his voice trembling as he continued, "I need you to understand why I did it. I was scared. Scared of losing you, of losing everything we had. I thought if I pushed you away, it would protect you, protect us."

Tears welled up in your own eyes as you listened to his confession. "Bucky, I do understand. I know you were trying to protect us."

Bucky wiped away his tears with the back of his hand, his voice heavy with regret. "But it was a mistake, a terrible mistake. I should have trusted you, trusted us. I can't believe how foolish I was."

Bucky began, his voice trembling with emotion. "During that mission, all I could think about was you."

Your heart swelled with tenderness as you listened intently to his words. "Bucky, what do you mean?"

Bucky took a deep breath, as if reliving those moments in his mind. "Every time things got tough, every time I was in pain or scared, you were the one I thought of. Your face, your smile, the way you laugh—those memories kept me going. Even when they tortured me so badly I couldn't walk, all I could think about was you"

As Bucky shared his feelings about the mission and how you had been his source of strength, you couldn't help but feel overwhelmed with love and relief. Tears of happiness welled up in your eyes as you whispered, "But now you have me, and you don't ever have to go through something like that alone again."

A warm smile spread across Bucky's face, and he gently pulled you closer. "I promise. I won't ever pull something like that again. I want to face everything together with you."

You settled beside him on the hospital bed, feeling the warmth of his embrace and the beating of his heart against your chest. It was a moment of profound comfort and reassurance, a silent affirmation of your love and your commitment to one another.

Taglist: @lareinaisabelle

[rivaldreamer]

House of Malignant-CH3

Crossover between House of Wax & Malignant

What happens when one pair of conjoined twins meet another?~

CHAPTERS:

CH1 , CH2

————————————

Madison and Sydney decided that some sightseeing would be good to pass the time, although Sydney did seem rather down that Lester wouldn’t be the one showing them around.

Bo suggested they check out Ambrose’s star attraction; the wax museum which the girls definitely seemed interested in. Although, Gabriel narrowed his eyes at the man.

There was something off about him… about this whole place…

He really wanted to voice his suspicions to the girls but he knew they would just say he’s overreacting. Again.

And yes, there was the added fact he was perfectly capable of protecting them from any threats.

But damn it! It was better to avoid danger than to walk right into it!

He stewed on his thoughts, Madison definitely taking notice, she and Sydney making their way over to the museum.

“Gabe… please stop,” she sighed.

“I didn’t say anything!”

Gabriel yelled, voice coming from Madison’s phone secured to her belt.

“Wha-? What’s wrong?” Sydney perked up.

“Oh nothing,” Madison shrugged her backpack up higher, “just our brother overreacting.”

“I am not ‘overreacting’! I’m being sensible. You two idiots are too trusting!”

“Gabe sweetie, calm down…” Sydney put a hand on Maddie’s head. She would have parted the hair in order to better see Gabriel but they were still out in the open.

“Listen,” Maddie tried to reason, “I know this whole situation can come off as sketchy, but stopping in this town wasn’t exactly a choice, remember?”

“Yeah,” Sydney agreed, tone gentle like a mother trying to settle an angry toddler, “and even if we wanted to leave right now, where’d we go? Our car’s busted and we’re…ya know…”

She lowered her voice.

“…on the run and all.”

Gabriel grumbled. He hated how right they were…

Sydney stood on her toes, throwing her arms around her siblings as she gave them a hug, making sure to rest the side of her head against Gabriel’s.

Gabriel huffed at the affection but didn’t protest.

“We just gotta believe that everything will turn out okay, Gabe,” Sydney assured him, letting go.

“Fine…” he relented, begrudgingly, “just keep my damn stuff close by…”

Madison patted her backpack. “In here, within reach,” she smirked, “better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it. Right?”

Gabriel would have smiled if he could, but no doubt Madison felt his amusement as her smile got wider.

The three of them continued walking, Sydney chattering away.

“Don’t worry Gabe, think of this as a chance to unwind for a change. I mean- with all our moving around, we barely have time to enjoy ourselves!”

“Since when exactly was life on the run supposed to be fun?” Gabriel deadpanned.

“It can be!” Sydney argued, tapping her chin, “what exactly would a bunch of criminals do for fun anyway?”

“Murder.”

Madison burst out laughing.

“…yeah, I walked right into that one.”

Walking up the stairs, they stood before the wax museum. It was certainly the most eye catching building in the whole small town. With its distinctive architecture and bold signage, it was practically the first thing they noticed when they arrived.

“Do you we just go in?” Maddie wondered aloud.

“This place…has an…odd scent to it…”

Sydney rested her hand against the wall. “Yeah, it does smell a bit funky- huh?” She turned to her hand, examining the wall under her fingertips.

“What’s wrong, Syd?” Madison asked, coming to stand beside her.

Sydney pulled her hand back, sniffing it before her brows shot up. “No way…” she put her hand back on the wall, “I think-… I think it’s made of wax!”

That surprised Gabriel, him examining the wall closer.

“What? The walls?” Madison also put her hand on the wall.

“Maddie, can you-?”

“Sure Gabe.”

Maddie allowed him control. Gabriel pressed their hand to the wall, scrapping their fingers and feeling the wax build up under their nails.

Gabriel was… honestly, intrigued.

Seeing as the coast was clear, he turned around, peeking through the locks of hair, seeing the building with his own two eyes.

“This is so not what I was expecting,” Sydney said.

“What were you expecting?”

“I don’t know, like- a couple of wax statues? But this is like-…well- this definitely is somethin’ else.”

“I wonder if the whole building’s made out of wax?” Maddie mused.

“If that’s the case, then this place should be an even bigger attraction.”

“How about we stop yapping and actually go inside?” Gabriel butted in impatiently.

“Okay, okay, fine-” Sydney froze, “wait a minute, since when did you care?”

Gabriel stayed silent.

It was then that both his sisters got an evil look in their eyes.

“Oh Gabe~” Maddie teased, “are you actually getting excited?”

“…shut up.”

Both sisters laughed, Sydney giving Gabriel a playful pinch on the cheek, to which he swatted her away before Maddie regained control, their little group entering into the museum.

The museum did look rather old, with a fine layer of dust covering the furniture and faded paint along the walls.

“Hello?” Maddie called out.

No response.

The sisters exchanged a look before they parted, taking in the many wax statues on display.

Light filtered in through the full length windows, casting the room in a shade of yellow. There were various furnishings and sculptures of people fixed in various poses. With no one around, Gabriel was allowed out, approaching two sculptures of a man and woman mid dance. He turned around, tilting his head as he examined them.

“They…look so real…”

“It’s amazing, isn’t it,” Maddie said.

Gabriel fingers raised, carefully caressing the face of the sculpted lady.

A shadow moved out the corner of his eye.

Gabriel spun around, searching wildly.

“Gabe? What’s wrong?”

“I-” Gabe blinked shaking his head, cascade of hair still covering his face, “nothing.”

Okay, maybe the girls were right. He was on edge and now being paranoid and imagining things. He really should take the opportunity and enjoy whatever fun comes his way. And honestly, this little detour was turning out to be more interesting than he’d anticipated.

“Gabe, look over there,” Maddie pointed out.

A dual, soft control was shared between them, Maddie leading them to a wall where framed newspapers were hung.

“‘Trudy Opens House of Wax,’ ‘Trudy’s Wax Carvings Are A Hit At The State Fair,’…” Maddie read the headlines out loud, squinting at the last one, “… ‘Trudy and Husband Expecting First Child’…”

“Well, I guess we know who runs the place,” Gabriel mused, maneuvering them backwards towards a table, the trinkets and knickknacks upon it catching his attention, with smaller carvings of inhuman creatures.

Gabriel picked up a mermaid sculpture, marveling at its slender body and its elongated tail, running their fingers over the carving.

Madison chuckled at his actions.

“You really like these things, huh?”

“It’s…” He hesitated, awkward and uncertain of how to express his feelings,“it’s just-… how can someone create something so…so…”

He struggled. Gabriel wasn’t really one for flowery words of compliments but then again he barely had a reason to use such words. He was always nihilistic. Nihilistic and inexperienced, in the world and in himself. He barely knew his own likes and dislikes. He barely knew himself.

But, there was no denying the fascination he felt at the art around him.

“How can… someone create something from nothing?”

As soon as he said it, Gabriel knew how stupid the question sounded. It was nowhere near what he was feeling.

But Madison didn’t judge, smiling. “Simple. You don’t,” She inclined her head slightly, “I’m no artist but I do know, art take’s a certain kind of passion, emotion. It can be anything really from joy, anger, sadness. It’s what you decide to make with it.”

Gabriel mused over her words, turning the sculpture over in their hands, noticing a name carved on its underside.

“Vincent…”

He whispered.

‘Who were you Vincent…?

What did you feel when you made these…?’

Suddenly, a scream was heard.

Sydney’s scream.

“FUCK!”/“FUCK!”

The May Twins simultaneously cussed, dashing to the sound.

They skidded to a halt into a model kitchen. There was Sydney, terrified and being held, knife to her throat, by a man.

The man was a good build, easily overpowering Sydney as she struggled in vain. He had long dark hair which flowed aggressively with his movements but the most distinct feature about him was the blank faced mask he wore.

The second the twins entered, the man snapped his head towards them, grunting.

He threw his knife at them. Time seemed to slow down as the blade sailed towards their head.

“MADDIE!”

Madison backflipped, the blade soaring by harmlessly, bones cracking and muscles twisting midair as she relinquished full control to Gabriel.

Gabriel landed on their feet, twisting around only to quickly dodge another knife aimed at them, scrambled and janky movements as he quickly ran and threw them over the display couch in the main area, taking cover.

“Shit! Where’s my stuff?!”

“Fuck! I left my bag at the door!”

“ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS?!”

“MADDIE!” Sydney screamed, desperately, her cries becoming fainter as she was being taken away to who knows where.

“FUCK IT! Just make a run for it!” Maddie screamed.

Gabriel readied himself before dashing out from behind the couch, jumping over furniture and heading to the entrance.

Sydney screamed and kicked as the man dragged her down a flight of stairs, descending into an ominous dark basement.

“LET ME GO YOU SON OF A-!”

A ‘SHING!’ sound was heard before the man grunted in pain, stumbling back and releasing his hold on her.

Sydney blinked, noticing a familiar gold blade embedded in the man’s shoulder.

A dark figure filled the entrance of the stairway, black coat flowing and dark hair framing a bloodied face.

A bloodied, absolutely pissed off face.

“GET AWAY FROM MY SISTER YOU PIECE OF SHIT!”

The masked man froze at the sight of Gabriel.

Sydney, smiling in relief, raced up the stairs and got behind him.

Casting a glance to make sure Sydney wasn’t hurt, Gabriel focused his full unfiltered rage on the masked attacker. He clenched their gloved fists, growling. From his vantage point at the top of the stairs, Gabriel looked down on the man like an insignificant insect.

The man seemed to steel his resolve, standing back to his full height, yanking Gabriel’s blade out and seeming to examine it, curiously in fact before tossing it to the ground.

Gabriel jumped, leaping across the rest of the steps, landing before the man in a crouched position.

The man jumped, staggering back and going on the defensive. From his hip holsters, he produced two daggers of his own, holding them at the ready as he watched Gabriel closely.

Gabriel tilted his head, noting how intricately designed the man’s weapons were. He lazily picked up his own dagger and stood, watching the man’s tense movements.

Gabriel chuckled, twirling the dagger around in their hand.

“What? Surprised by my pretty face?”

The man perked up at that before Gabriel lunged at him, blade aimed at his face.

The man immediately reacted, crossing his blades in an X and blocking Gabriel’s attack, kicking him back with a grunt.

Gabriel stumbled back, surprised.

“Huh…”

He threw another attack and another, the man deftly deflecting or dodging them and even came close to landing a hit on Gabriel a few times.

After another failed attack, the pair in a stalemate, Gabriel trying to shove his blade into the man’s throat while the man successfully held him back with his own two weapons.

Their faces were close, Gabriel deliberately getting into the man’s personal space to make him uncomfortable, blood from his face dripping and staining the white mask a stark red.

“Not bad…” Gabriel grunted, fighting to push the blade into the bastards windpipe, “you’re more capable than I gave you credit for asshole.”

This close, Gabriel could make out one eye through the mask, wide and staring at him.

“What are you staring at shitface?”

Gabriel growled, deciding to just say fuck it and headbutt the motherfucker.

A crack was heard, the man stumbling back and desperately trying to hold together his now shattered mask.

Gabriel took this opportunity to grab the man by the back of his sweater, another hand roughly grabbing fistfuls of hair, before he slammed the man’s head against the concrete wall.

The mask shattered completely, falling to the floor.

Gabriel growled, throwing the man down and jumping on him, blade raised and ready to put an end to this.

But he froze.

Looking back up at him, was a face scarred and deformed.

Like a breeze blowing out a candle, Gabriel’s rage vanished.

The left side of the man’s face was completely deformed, one eye clouded over, most likely blind, while the right side was completely unmarred.

The man stared up at Gabriel intensely, chest raising up and down as he panted, a scowl tightening his features.

Gabriel tilted his head, hand reaching out.

The man flinched, making Gabriel pause before moving slower.

His fingers delicately brushed over the scars.

At the soft touch, the man’s features softened, scowl vanishing as he too began to take in Gabriel’s features, not with fear or disgust but with genuine curiosity.

They stayed like that for a moment, Gabriel pinning him down, the man gazing up at him, them both taking in the sight of each other.

“Gabe! Are you okay?!” Sydney yelled from above.

The sound of her voice jolted Gabriel back to his senses, scrambling off of the man and backing away but never once taking his gaze off him.

The man too hurried to his feet, taking cautious steps back as he stared Gabriel down, eye narrowed.

The both of them gazed at each other, tense, waiting for the other to make the next move.

After what felt like an eternity, Gabriel finally spoke.

“Who are you…?”

The man didn’t respond, grabbing his discarded weapons and fleeing down the tunnels. Although, as he ran, he cast a look over his shoulder. What expression he wore, what he felt about the encounter, Gabriel couldn’t tell, too far to read.

Gabriel stayed there, not going after him.

The question he asked still remained though and he desperately wanted to know the answer.

[galraluver]

Royal greetings honey, (sorry) it's me again

It's 2 a.m., and I had a crack-idea: do you know these period belts that simulate period cramps??? How would galran men react to the pain?

Imagine some merciless, strong warriors laying on the floor like a shrimp, I'm crying

Thank you darling, good night!

Oh yes, I know what they are. I've watched a few videos of men trying them and it's hilarious 😂. I would be happy to write your request 😁

_________________________________________

~ Throk ~

~ Every month when you get your period Throk scoffs when you're in pain; he doesn't necessarily mean it in a mean-spirited way, but he doesn't see how you can be so affected by what he thinks is just a little pain

~ After a couple of months of him downplaying your pain you buy a period cramps simulator from the space mall

~ Throk scoffs again when you challenge him to see if he can stand feeling how much pain you go through, luckily he's always up for a challenge

~ Before you two start you try it on yourself to see what setting is closest to what you experience every month

~ Then it's Throk's turn to put the little patches on his lower abdomen

~ He really does think that the pain won't be all that bad, galra are capable of withstanding all kinds of pain

~ *cue to Throk laying on the couch looking like he can withstand anything*

~ You start off with the first two settings which aren't so bad, Throk still has a cocky grin on his face thinking he's right about you overreacting every month

~ That's when you turn the dial up to the setting that matches your monthly cramps

~ Throk practically yowls in pain when he feels how bad it is, he's never felt anything like it before

~ He's never felt so much pain in his lower abdomen before and while the controls are on it doesn't end, instead it keeps coming in what he can describe as waves

~ He nearly rolls off of the couch in the process, thankfully he doesn't because he doesn't want the little wires to get damaged

~ Tries to keep a straight face after that but fails, Throk is willing to tough it out even though he wants to curl up in a ball and cry

~ However, as soon as you turn the dial up to the highest setting Throk begins to actually cry because the pain is so bad

~ He curls up into a ball as much as he can because he wants to find a position that eases the pain just a little bit; he doesn't find one, though

~ How are you able to survive such pain? And every month? He legit feels bad for criticizing you for something you can't control

~ Needless to say Throk has way more respect for you after he feels what you go through every month and he never complains again, instead he takes care of you every time you get your period and makes sure you're as comfortable as possible

__________

~ Ranveig ~

~ It's no secret that Ranveig's one of the toughest galra commanders in the entire galra empire, it's why he's in charge of one of the most dangerous territories, although because he's so powerful he thinks that he can withstand anything

~ He doesn't necessarily downplay your pain when you're experiencing period cramps, although he's definitely thought that you were overreacting during some of your worst periods

~ When you both come across a period cramps simulator at the space mall you decide to buy it so that you can see if your significant other can actually experience cramps without being affected

~ Ranveig agrees to try it the next day because he doesn't think it'll be so bad, little does he know what he's about to experience

~ You try it out first the next day so you know what setting is closest to what you feel on a monthly basis

~ Ranveig sits on the couch when you stick the little patches to his lower abdomen; he looks so confident and you're ready to bring him to his knees

~ He doesn't feel the first two settings but he feels a little bit of the third one and says it tickles

~ That's when he gets cocky and subtly mentions how human women are weak

~ You get angry and turn the dial up to the highest setting without warning him first because you're pissed, if he thinks that human women are weak for suffering from period cramps then he has another thing coming

~ Ranveig's eye widens and he actually squeals when he feels the pain rippling through his lower abdomen in waves, he never expected the pain to be that bad

~ Believe it or not you actually bring Ranveig to his knees, he slides right off of the couch so he can sit with his legs folded beneath him while he slouches in pain

~ He can't even talk because the pain is so bad, he legit regrets saying what he said

~ Like, imagine Ranveig curled up while failing to work through the simulated version of the worst period cramps in the entire universe

~ When you think he's had enough you turn the dial to zero and kneel down in front of your large boyfriend/husband

~ Ranveig apologies as soon as he catches his breath, then he admits how wrong he had been for thinking period cramps weren't painful

~ From then on Ranveig has the highest respect for human women, he believes that anyone who can go through all that pain, bleeding and other highly unpleasant symptoms must have some kind of incredible power

__________

~ Branko ~

~ Branko can be pretty cocky and thinks that he can handle anything, but unlike Throk he doesn't downplay your pain every time you get your period

~ However, he doesn't think it's all that bad and that he could easily handle it

~ That's when you order a period cramps simulator; if your significant other thinks that he can handle period cramps then you want him to prove it

~ Branko thinks it's cute and kind of hilarious when you dare him to try the simulator, since he thinks that he can handle it he humors you by agreeing

~ He has to wait for you to read the instructions and try it out so that you know which setting comes closest to what you experience every month, then you detach the patches from your lower abdomen and stick them on his

~ He barely feels the first two settings, although he starts to feel a little something by the time you turn the dial to the third

~ Branko wonders why you make such a big deal about your monthly cramps until you turn the dial up to what your cramps are like when you get them

~ You smirk as he grits his teeth together and assures you that he's fine even though he's obviously in pain

~ Since you sort of get satisfaction from proving your point you slowly turn the dial up a few more notches

~ Branko can tell that you're enjoying yourself; he's kind of proud, but at the same time he's in more pain than he originally thought he'd be in

~ The sudden burst of pain at the beginning was a whole new sensation to him, although the way the cramps increased with each turn of the dial had him writhing in pain on the couch

~ By the time you have the dial on the highest setting Branko is forcing himself to stay seated on the couch while tears spill down his cheeks, he never imagined that human women could experience such pain

~ In the end Branko learns his lesson and thinks that all human women are tough in order to be able to deal with their periods every month

~ After the whole ordeal he needs a few minutes to recover; in the future he makes sure to take care of you better when your period comes, it's the least he can do as your boyfriend/husband

__________

~ Lotor ~

~ Lotor understands that people of every species has to deal with some kind of reproductive organ related bodily function at some point during their lives, so naturally he knows you're not overreacting to your period cramps

~ In order to better understand what you go through every month Lotor orders a period cramps simulator

~ When Lotor proudly tells you about his most recent purchase you're a little speechless; on one hand it's sweet of him to want to understand what you go through, but on the other hand you feel bad for what he's about to experience when it comes in

~ On the day the package gets delivered to his ship he puts Acxa in charge while the two of you head straight to the habsuite you both live in

~ His generals already know all about the period cramps simulator, so they know not to disturb you and Lotor

~ Lotor thoroughly reads the instructions before you test it out first, that way you know what setting is closest to what you go through every month

~ When it's Lotor's turn you stick the patches on his lower abdomen and stand in front of him, and you make sure that he's ready before you turn the dial on its first setting

~ Lotor's body jerks and he lets out a loud gasp when he feels the first twinge of pain, he assures you that he's fine though

~ You apologize and asks him if he needs to to stop, but Lotor reassures you that he's fine

~ As you slowly turn the dial up to the level that matches your monthly cramps you notice how your significant other is on the verge of crying from the pain

~ Lotor's never experienced pain in such a way before, he respects you even more now than before, and he's always respected you

~ The way the pain wracks through his lower abdomen and the surrounding areas has him gritting his teeth and squeezing his knees as he tries to keep himself upright

~ He doesn't even make it to the highest setting before he has to stop, the waves of intense pain are too much for him to bear

~ Cuddles are ensured aftwards; Lotor always cuddles with you when you have period cramps, so you do the same to comfort him after he experiences them for himself even though they were only simulated

~ Lotor decides to use the period cramps simulator as an interrogation tool in case he ever needs it, that way he doesn't have to result to violence to get the answers he needs if the situation ever presents itself

[alatismeni-theitsa]

There are many things I will never forgive Rick Riordan for but the number 1 (one) thing I will always hold against him is how he treated WWII in the entire series.

To quote the PJO wiki, "[...] World War II, in the books, is described to be a huge fight between the children of Zeus and Poseidon on one side and the children of Hades on the other.

The events of World War II resulted in the pact of the Big Three, because their children were affecting the course of history too much. It was decided more demigod children would be dangerous for the mortal world."

Just. What the fuck. There are so many things that are wrong with this.

There is nothing that he can do to excuse or salvage this. He could rewrite the whole series, I don't give a fuck. This should not have happened in the first place.

I don't care if he wrote the first book in 2005, he was and still is a grown ass man with a high education from what I've read, he has no excuse. WWII has affected millions across the globe with the descendants of all too many families even having to deal with the generational trauma that came from that time period alone AND dealing with heavy deniers of the many atrocities and war crimes that were committed whilst their grandparents and great-grandparents are having hallucinations of all of their traumatic experiences (can you tell i'm speaking from experience?).

Ironically he holds (Ancient) Greece on such a high pedestal, calling it the birthplace of Western Civilisation (it isn't), and yet you can tell he obviously knows very little about the damn country whose culture he's been appropreating for almost two decades now. Making Hades the father of 3 (three) terrible war criminals in the war that, you know, Greece had been and still is greatly affected by to this day. Which is, you know, his fucking home. That he and all the other characters supposedly care about oh so much (I have so many bottled-up negative emotions about these books and absolutely no safe space to let them out, theitsa, you have no idea).

You may think I'm overreacting or taking this too seriously but I honestly couldn't care less. This is not a topic you can just joke about or treat light-heartedly. Yes, it was mentioned as an atrocity in the books, but it was still mainly treated as just "Hehe silly fight between gods! Secret History ooo!~".

Simply saying that WWII was bad is not enough, Rick, it's actually the bare minimum. You need to show it at the very least some respect by not undermining its consequences to simply "This is why we don't have kids anymore!". But you're obviously not ready to hear that yet. It still baffles me that his fans are just now discovering he is not the saint they thought he was. "How could he be a zionist ??" they all ask in unison, meanwhile the signs were all there since 2005 (at the very least).

Anyway, you don't have to answer this ask if you don't feel like it, I understand it can possibly be overwhelming. You're the first person I've seen that's actually not afraid to point out Rick's bullshit despite initially liking his books, and also the fact that you are a Greek educating people on actual Greek culture, so I felt safe sharing my thoughts with you. Thank you for your time! Καλές γιορτές! 💕

You're overreacting, especially when it comes to the World Wars! In ww2 1 in 10 Greeks died in the famine, and almost everyone I know had someone in their family executed or tortured by the Germans/Bulgarians/Italians triple occupation (not to mention getting hurt or killed in battle). These situations traumatized generations of Greeks, but Rick had the immense privilege of not considering this while writing! He treated the wars like they were play-dough for his little cutsy lore, he made our arch-enemies the children of our gods, and he can go to hell for this.

I am here for all the righteous Greek αλάτι, so if you have more thoughts, bring it on!

[danjaley]

Alternative Ending to 1793

(Lots of alternative plotlines in this year!)

So the gist of the plotline always was that Matt and Jon return, on the whole successful, but nothing really is as it was before. Jon is heartbroken about Nicolas and went to exile in Cornwall to avoid him. Matt learns about his children's illnesses and Alasdair's plans to visit his mother. Originally there was to be a complete hysteric letter from herself, but it never progressed past those two sentences. I still think Ysobel's reaction is very much in character, but when I wrote this, I thought it was the first letter the Duchess sent in those nine years.

The Duchess’s letter: Do not deny me the comfort to see my son once more! It is the most cruel thing a mother can suffer to be separated from her child! Ysobel: I don’t want to argue to the contrary, but she doesn’t seem to have felt the cruelty very keenly these past nine years.

Then, Jon fell ill in Cornwall and had to be rescued by Matt. In this version it's much more apparent why Matt feels he needs to rush to his aid, and also it's not Christmas yet. Emotionally, I rather liked this version. But what I finally went with brought out better that Matt just can't get down from his stress-level and sense of responsibility. Although he is overreacting in assuming Jon was dying.

Matthew: Shon hashn’’ shen’ a le’’er thish ‘eek. Ah’m shailing ‘o Cor’’all. Alice: Are you sure it’s not just the post being delayed? Matthew: Ah shaid Ah’d come if he shtopped wri’ing. Sho Ah’ll go. Ah can’’ jusht leave Shon ‘o die! No’ af’er Ah kille’ a ma’ for him. Alice: Nobody said he was dying! Wait, you did what!? […]

(Jonathan Brodie to Matthew McCarric, letter delayed in the post) I have a bad cold. Only writing to prevent you from rushing to Cornwall.

Jonathan: Matt! What are you doing here? I wrote to you! Matthew: Musht ha’e mished me. Are y’ ill? Why ish it sho col’ here? Jonathan: To fetch more wood I’d have to get out of bed. And the landlady’s servants are busy elsewhere. Matthew (shouting down staircase): Ah wan’ ‘o shee a fire in the Shottish Shentleman’sh room thish inshtan’! An’ bring shome hot shoup! * * * Matthew: Are y’ be’’er? Jonathan: Yes. Thank you. I’m glad you’re here.

Another reason I changed plans was that I felt a professional failure would be a bit too much misfortune for poor Jon. Actually, the next scene in which we'll see him at work in 1794 makes much more sense if he was successful in Cornwall.

Matthew: Wha’ are we goin’ ‘o do wi’ you? Jonathan: I don’t know any more. I’d really like to go home. Then I could at least read my books and have Sarah look after me. But my apartment is only a few streets away from my parents’ house. Mother would want me to visit. It would only be painful. And dangerous. Matthew: Have you finishe’ your work for ‘he Cornish Shentleman? Jonathan: No. I fell ill. He chose another architect’s plans.

And then there was all this fuss getting him back to Edinburgh where we need him. That's why I finally decided to cut it short, let him return straight away, and jump to the Christmas scenes.

Jonathan: The only idea I had at all was to sell my apartment and buy another somewhere else. Glasgow might work. It’s not too far away and closer to you. I’m certainly cured of the English south. But then – as someone who knows a thing or two about real estate – it would be such a bad deal to trade in Edinburgh for Glasgow just because of a broken heart. Matthew: Jusht co’e home wi’ me. You ca’ shtay i’ the guesht room you deshigned yourshelf. Jonathan: Thank you. But I can’t intrude upon you and Alice when your baby is so ill. But we can travel together and I take a room in Glasgow. At least until Christmas. Mother will invite everyone then and I can’t stay away without giving very good reasons. Matt – you’ll come to all the Christmas gatherings too, won’t you? Then I could at least talk to you the entire time. Matthew: Ah can’’ shtay away fro’ ‘hem either.

Regrettably though, this eliminated the concluding gag for Captain Burton's storyline:

Captain Burton: Good morning! Is Mr McCarric in? Eliza: I’m afraid not. He’s down South to help a relative in need. Captain Burton: Are you kidding me!?

Secret fun fact: I'm really glad it's 1794 now! I'm still not sure if it's a very elaborate joke between us or if we're actually going to do this. But my sister and I started researching for a historical novel to write together, which would be set in 1794 (got to do with the French Revolution, but not with Scotland). I've been confusing the two years all this summer!

[burification]

Fever In Bedtime Covers

Wilbur Soot x Reader

Ao3

Warnings: almost smut. but not. cheating,, toxic relationship, i think that’s it ???

no smut but minors dni pls pls pls plssssss

It’s cold. It’s late. You’re tired. You’re too upset to care. You’re livid. Despite your anger, a rational part of you admits that you should’ve gone to bed, or at least drove instead of storming out of your apartment. You don’t know where you’re going but you don’t stop. It’s not the most dangerous area, but you are still young and alone at almost one in the morning and that adds a layer of uneasiness to the air nipping at your skin.

You give up on storming off before you get lost and you seek solace on a bench at a park nearby, usually lively with families and laughter but is now so quiet. You take a moment to collect yourself, let your breath steady, attempting to find some semblance of peace. You breathe. You want to go home, you want everything to be how it was before. You don’t want to be alone in this park.

The eeriness and uncertainty of the dark decides for you that you should get back home.

You feel stupid. You feel immature. You plan how you will make it up to him, for making accusations and then storming out. You think until you’re in your building and climbing the stairs before you collide into another body. A familiar face- you recognize him as someone from your building. He’s distracted by something on his phone and you don’t know if you should make anything out of this interaction before your thoughts are interrupted by a “Sorry, ‘m just trying to get up to my apartment.”

You knew you recognized him but had never spoken to him. You’ve heard someone with an accent playfully yelling from time to time, you just wouldn’t have guessed to associate those joking vulgarities with the seemingly reserved and warm looking boy in front of you. “I’m Wil, I’ve seen you around but I don’t think we’ve met properly.” You introduce yourself to him, in hopes that a nice chat will ease your anxieties of going back home.

Before you can start any meaningful conversation, he excuses himself to take a phone call and you’re left with a mix of curiosity and relief from the brief interaction.

You go back to the flight of stairs up to your apartment until you’re in front of your door. You’re back in your thoughts again, thinking of how you could possibly make this up to your partner. Again, your thoughts are interrupted but this time by the sound of keys being shoved into a lock to your left. It’s Wil again.

“We just keep running into each other,” you joke. He laughs half heartedly.

“What’re you doing out this late anyway?”

You’re not sure how to respond. You settle on a vague response, not wanting to burden him with your personal troubles. You don’t mention your insecurity and self doubt, unsure if you overreacted or if there’s a genuine cause for concern in your relationship. Despite the turmoil, you simply say, “I just needed some air.”

“Very well. Goodnight then.” And he disappears into his apartment. You feel a yearning to talk to him more. There is something about him that exudes warmth and comfort and in this moment of vulnerability, you want to confide in him.

You retreat into your own apartment, trying to ignore the emotional turbulence and focus on your partner. It’s dark, no sign of anyone. You wonder if he had the same idea as you after the fight- perhaps he decided to clear his head as well, hopefully he was smart enough to take the car. A glimmer of hope wonders if he felt bad and went to go look for you. You feel around the wall to find the light switch while you grab your phone to call and let him know you’re home safe. As light fills the room, your gaze shifts down at your phone, you notice a pair of shoes by the door that you don’t quite recognize. They’re definitely not your partner’s and they’re a bit too expensive to be yours. The pit of anxiety in your stomach weighs heavy like a rock and molds into disappointment.

The hallway seems to go on forever, your heart races with trepidation as you quietly make your way to the bedroom. Hoping against hope that your fears are unfounded, you pray that you’re worrying over nothing. You would rather be insecure and crazy for the rest of your life than any of the other thoughts running through your head be true. The doorknob is cold, the door is cracked already and all that’s left for you to do is push. You do. It’s dark, it’s silent.

There’s a blue hue filling the room and with that small illumination, you make out a small figure in the arms of your lover. There’s no clothes strewn across the room, there’s no sick smell of sweat. It resembles the room you left behind, with the sole difference being the presence of the woman entwined with your partner.

You can’t bring yourself to cry out. You can’t bring yourself to be angry. It’s late. You’re tired. The hallway shrinks in size as you make your way to the front door again. You can’t storm off. You’re not livid, you’re just defeated. You’re standing in the hallway of your apartment complex, unaware of where to go or who to call. It’s too late to burden your family and you left all your friends to focus on the man lying in your bed with another woman.

Your knuckles against wood catches your brain up to your body. “We just keep running into each other don’t we?” Wil says in a playful tone. You wonder how he has so much energy this late at night. “I’m tired,” is all you manage to get out. “Are you locked out?” He asks, because he didn’t see you walk in and he didn’t see you walk out with half of your heart still in that apartment.

He takes your lack of an answer as acceptance, he extends an invitation and welcomes you in. His apartment is warm, not only physically but it’s also comforting, much like his presence. There’s a sense of home that you didn’t know could exist in this building, it’s a nice contrast from the cold and dark of your apartment.

The lights are on and there’s light music coming from another room. Nothing too loud, nothing you could hear from your apartment, it’s gentle.

He breaks the silence, “Is everything alright? It’s pretty late and you seem upset. Did something happen to you?” And he’s right. It is late. And you don’t know this man, who was stumbling up the steps when you met him. And you’re alone in his apartment. You wonder if he lives by himself or if anyone else is here.

“Do you afford this place on your own?” you try to get some information out of him. It’s not the nicest place but you could barely afford your apartment with your partner's income together.

“I do, yes.”

You wonder how he’s able to. It’s decorated nicely, guitar stands in the corner of the living area next to the gaming consoles across from the nice looking sectional couch. It’s nothing too extravagant but it’s comfortable.

He motions you to sit down and make yourself comfortable while he offers you a glass of water. He behaves as if he’s ready to start his morning.

“What’re you doing up this late?” It's your turn to ask questions now.

“Could you just confirm that everything is okay? Do I need to call anyone?” He seems genuinely worried. You think about how you’d react if a stranger just knocked on your door at three in the morning without saying much.

“I’m okay.” You assure. Wil visibly relaxes.

“I’m just up so I can work.” You assume he’s trying to get stuff done before a deadline, “Where’re you working?” “I do online stuff. Some of the people I make things with live across the country. I try to work with their time. I don’t mind it too much though, I prefer being up in the later hours.” You’re too tired to care to pry so you just accept his answer.

“May I ask why you knocked on my door?”

You don’t want to relive it, your heart still aches for the pieces of it that you left by the door. You tell him. You try not to look at him while you do because every word that comes out of your mouth, his eyes soften. Every word of consolation he says is dripping with a care and hospitality that you’ve grown so unfamiliar to. You want to cry because this stranger is being so kind to you and you want more, you feel pathetic. You want to tell him all your troubles so he can lick your wounds. And he does. In a way a stranger can without overstepping, he does. He listens.

You feel bad for burdening him. He doesn’t seem to mind, though. He listens like he is truly interested in you and your stories. It’s almost three in the morning now and you wonder if this guy sleeps at all. You’re not tired anymore. Your body is, but your brain is wide awake. Maybe you’re trying to stay awake to be alert or to take in this moment. Your glass is empty. You know you should leave but you don’t know if you could bring yourself to go home. Almost as if he could read your mind, he grabs your glass and takes it over to the kitchen. You prepare to leave and to be alone again. You think of ways to thank him but instead, he’s sat back down with a full cup of water. Almost as a way to say ‘Stay.’ You accept and hope he can see the gratitude in your eyes.

You two talk like old friends catching up with each other. You exchange stories and Wil’s soft and sympathetic eyes have turned to squinty ones accompanied with laugh lines. His personality is just as warm as his eyes are and you wonder if the room is being lit up by the lights or if it’s just that smile he bares. You can’t help but feel a bit guilty taking in his appearance when he listened to you so intently. Your glass is empty again and you can barely keep your head up. You want to stay, you want to be safe here and let him put you back together. You want him to make you whole again. “Here,” he gets up to grab you a blanket and a remote to turn on the tv, “Would you like to watch anything?” You feel like you’ve surely overstayed your welcome, “I should go.” “You don’t have to go back. Stay,” he says it out loud this time and like a well trained dog, you listen.

“Is this okay?” He sits close. “Mhm,” you mumble. He throws the blanket across both your laps. “What do you wanna watch?” He nudges the remote towards you but you just bury your face in his shoulder. “You choose,” you don’t care, you just want to be close, “please hold me.” He obeys. He rests an arm around your shoulder, he’s careful about it but you move yourself closer to him. You crave him, his warmth and his touch. You want to be whole again. He pulls you closer and you hold him harder, you hold him like he will disappear if you let go.

“Thank you for being so kind to me Wil,” you say it just above a whisper, “thank you.” He holds your head against his shoulder. He doesn’t say or do anything other than that small action but you take it and savor it. “Why are you being so kind to me, Wil?” He’s quiet for a second, “I don’t know,” you look at him but he’s not looking at you. He’s looking forward to the tv show he put on before, “you seem like you need someone right now. I want to be here for you.” He’s looking down at you now, you try not to let your eyes water but his expression is honest and it sends you over the edge.

He pulls you onto his lap until your legs are caging him and then his hands are on the back of your head. He pulls you close until the top of your head is met by his lips. He holds you close, he holds you like you are made of porcelain, as if you will shatter into a million pieces if he lets you go.

You know you shouldn’t, god knows how much of a hypocrite you’d be if you did, but you do it anyway. You need this, even if it’s just for tonight. You bring yourself up from your place on his chest to cup his face, you kiss him. You don’t expect him to, but he kisses you back. It’s fluid, it’s natural. Your hands are laced in his hair and his hands have gone from rubbing your back to holding your hips. You’re filled with another spurt of energy, a carnal desire. You’re so drunk on his lips that you cast aside any need for oxygen. His hand goes from your hip to your cheek and he pulls away. “Are you sure about this?” He’s searching your face for any trace of doubt. “Please, Wil,” you need this. You would get down on your knees to prove to him if you needed to.

You kiss him again, it’s short this time as you make your way down to his jaw, his neck, and to the small bit of collarbone exposed from his collared shirt. You move with the rise and fall of his chest as you undo his buttons. The kisses get hungrier with desperation with every button undone until you’re at his jeans. You leave small kisses at his hips before you look up at him one more time for an okay to go ahead. He looks at you at with the same sympathetic look he gave you before.

“I don’t think this is what you need right now, my darling.” You know he’s right, every part of your being wants to fight against it and just have this but you know he’s right.

“I’m sorry,” you take back your place next to him on the couch, “you’ve been nothing but kind to me tonight I don’t mean to use you. I’m so sorry.” Any lingering feeling of confidence and bliss has gone and replaced itself with regret. You want to crawl away and sulk in your deplorable sorrows like a bad dog.

A hand on your knee breaks you from your trance. You don’t move, you hope that maybe if you’re still enough you’ll disappear from this situation.

“Look at me please.”

To no avail you’re still here. Your head feels like boulders upon your shoulders as you bring yourself to look at him. You don’t expect what you see. There’s no trace of pity or discomfort anywhere on his face. Instead, you see the eyes filled with warmth and comfort you were met with before any of this happened which makes it feel all the more heart wrenching.

“I want this,” he keeps his hand on your knee and offers a reassuring squeeze, “just under different circumstances.” You can’t bring yourself to say anything so you just nod.

“Let me take you out tomorrow? Maybe we can try this again.”

“I could settle for that.” You wonder how a person’s company could be so serene.

“You can stay here tonight, okay? I’ll take the couch.”

“Can we both stay here please?”

He hums a yes and excuses himself to his room to wash up and grab some pillows and blankets.

When he comes back his face looks fresh and his hands are full with two pillows, a thick blanket and stuffed whale.

“Whalebur.” Is all he says, in full seriousness. “You can sleep with him tonight.”

He makes the couch into a makeshift bed and turns off the lights, the only thing granting you guys vision is the tv screen that he leaves on. He pulls you into his side in a half sit half laying down position, you lean your head against his shoulder with one arm around his and one arm holding onto his stuffed whale. There’s some album review youtube video playing on the screen that he watches intently and if you’re being honest, you don’t know if it’s his fingers tracing circles on your skin or the video that’s causing you to doze off.

At some point in the video, you fall asleep. You’re awoken shortly after to a light snore above you, where Wil decided to rest his head against yours. His arm is around your waist now and you’re closer to him than you were before. It’s cozy. You want to stay here, in this moment. You want to get used to this warmth, this comfort. You want to get used to the closeness and the tenderness he offers.

You hold the plush, blue whale to yourself tighter and drink in every second of the setting. You want to get used to this. Your head is filled with thoughts of waking up and falling asleep next to someone so unconditionally sweet. You let these ideas saturate your brain and hope they bleed into your dreams before you drift off into sleep for a final time.