#takes ages to start having an effect
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heardatmedschool · 7 months ago
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“Vancomycin is a bad antibiotic, get over it.”
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catmask · 1 year ago
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sometimes while i think about that while a lot of adults did not treat me very well as a kid i also get a lot of 'in hindsight this person was so good to me and i didnt even realize it until now' as an adult. today i was thinking about how the first anime convention i ever went to was when i was 10 and i asked the man working the manga cafe what manga was/what a good place to start was (because the con was very overstimulating for me and i had gotten lost) and he asked how old i was before recommending yotsuba and asking if i wanted any water or something to eat. its really simple but theres a lot of bad things that couldve happened or he could've been careless in his recommendation, but instead yotsuba has remained one of my favorite manga for years, and probably a large portion of why i continue to read manga as an adult... i think adults who try to involve kids in the world safely/kindly even in little ways make so much more of a difference than they ever really know.
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steakout-05 · 1 month ago
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been drawing a sorta reference thingy for Salesman Barry in the timeloop au i've been rotating around in my brain for a while recently :] it isn't as much a character design reference as it is more of a reference for how Barry's mental state begins to deteriorate as he starts having intense deja vu and nightmares every time his timeline gets reset upon death and he tries to piece together what is going on out of pure desperation and instincts (he is being experimented on and doesn't know it yet). i want to throw him at a wall (affectionate)
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it is still a WIP as i haven't drawn all the details yet and i want to change the colours as they look too dull on my pc,,, also here is the original sketch :D
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#barry steakfries#jetpack joyride#salesman!barry steakfries#i have been thinking of more ideas for the timeloop au..... still haven't come up with a proper name for it yet though loolll#i like putting barry in horrible traumatising situations it's fun seeing his character traits get pushed to their limits#first i'm putting him through a brutal survivalist zombie landscape that makes barry question if he'll even make it out alive this time#and then i'm shoving him into a horrible reality where his life and timeline are fake and his whole reality literally starts to shatter#its ok he gets better!!!#not so much craig though :( craig gets it rough#he basically goes through a horrific accident involving experimental technology that damns him to an existence that is permanently-#-attached to the timeline itself where he will die if the timeline gets wiped or he tries to enter another one#craig's existence is basically a living purgatory where he can never age or die but he is no longer alive as his former self anymore#he's like a half-ghost and he ends up doomed no matter what action barry would take at the end of the story#if barry erases the timeline craig dies. if craig tries to come with barry to the new timeline he dies.#if barry does nothing and keeps living in this broken timeline loop he's in then craig will never escape and have the chance to help barry#oh yeah i forgot to mention craig is trapped in a basement. and also that this post is about barry. woops#barry has to basically become a detective in this story and string together what the fuck is happening based on pure instincts alone#he's like a conspiracy theorist with his board covered in photos connected by red strings#it's really cool i think..... i should make a whole separate post about this#i love drawing my little man :)#he's so traumatised he needs a big hug and a best friend and tons of therapy and plenty of ice cream#i'm just thinkin of the effects of barry's trauma after he goes through the events of timeloop and enters the new dimension#dude's probably gonna have tones of nightmares and trust issues and dissociative episodes#he's probably going to develop a compulsion where he continuously checks the date and time because he's terrified of it resetting again#he needs a hug seriously#alternate universe#my au
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symeraid-s · 4 months ago
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Finally watched the final season of the Umbrella Academy. Gotta say, I don't think I have ever felt this betrayed by a series before.
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manasurge · 5 months ago
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bleh
#blabbering#rambling/whining/complaining/venting ahead:#I think the horrors have finally caught up to me and the depresso is starting to take hold#i don't usually experience this until winter but I think the sudden drop of activity and people going on hiatus and such -#has triggered this early for me#basically I can't be left alone with my thoughts for too long or i start spiraling REALLY badly.#i don't really handle change very well haha...#i have the notorious curse of second guessing anything and everything and putting it on repeat in my head and then amplifying it#which sucks bc I don't have any more escapisms that work now bc this was already my escapism and I have no human connections irl#(I'm not kidding either. I've failed time and time again to make friends irl and was always the proactive one about it. But alas... ugh)#my only source for connections is online bc i struggle to make friends (especially at my age and how my energy keeps depleting and depletin#might lowkey be sharkweek but usually I just get more agitated and not this (this is very specific to the winter horrors™ for me)#i guess I may as well check out the spears while they're around still (tho in between me making dinner). I'm just feeling super bummed out#and not excited like I was the other day about it (ofc I blame the depresso™).#I don't even know what to do for my beta characters. Head empty. Head gone. sigh.#also it sucks bc next week is gonna kick my ass at work (canada day/july 4th/july in general/5 DAYS and long shifts in there too)#i'm going to be so tired and so alone and with nothing to look forward to. Idk what to do bc none of my usual distractions are effective no#No escape. No seretonin. No company. Nothin'. I notice I when i start getting bad like this when I fall back hard into pokemon#(because it was my childhood escapism and I was a neglected only child who was left alone a lot; hence the connection lol)#i'll probably just have to suffer through it and be an absolute wreck of a person i think. I don't really have any other options#watch me get sick again bc canada sucks to work bc everyone has it off and they ALL GO TO THE STORE I WORK AT AND IT SUCKS.#gonna try to draw more too but the depresso is eating my brain worms (the healthy brain worms)
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fictionadventurer · 1 year ago
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Was this written by future President of the United States Chester Arthur or Anne of Green Gables?
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phagodyke · 4 months ago
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omg.... my new nearest audiology department actually has an EMAIL TO CONTACT!!!!!!! we're so fucking back baby
#looking to register bc i havent had a hearing checkup in like. 4-5 years lol#im supposed to have repeats every 2-3 years but my old audio dept is on the other side of the country....#and my hearing loss has been stable since i was 2 yrs old so its not super urgent to keep track of..#but ive had my current hearing aids for over 6 years now i think which is the average lifespan. and they still work fine#but i really should be taking them in to adjust every six months n get new moulds fitted regularly....... oops#i do replace the tubing but yeah im way behind on maintenance#and considering i wear them like 50 hours a week n im kinda dependent on them at work i need to keep on top of it more#ALSO what i reaaaaally want is ones that have bluetooth connectivity bc when i last got mine that tech wasnt widely available#but now i think theyre nhs standard. so fingers crossed i can upgrade plsss i wanna be able to use them for phone calls n music!!!#i can make a good case for it if needed cuz i need to use headphones at work sometimes#actually might be able to get an access to work grant for bonus hearing aid equipment..... i should look into that#i was skeptical for ages bc i had a VERY old roger mic as a kid which was effectively a box on a lanyard i had to give to ppl#it was clunky as shit and had awful sound quality i gave up using it after a year or two#but now they have very sleek n subtle ones n the tech has improved so much like it filters bg noise n can connect to tvs n shit#so would be really useful in meetings or when im like. at a restaurant or somewhere w a lot of bg noise....#ahhhh itll take time to get everything sorted tho. need to start w just getting this audiology referral in place#ill swing by the gp practice after work tmr and ask for an appointment for that#need to get dressed and leave the flat.... but i dont want to 😔#in a bit....#.diaries
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izzy-b-hands · 16 days ago
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"they're just coming up alongside us now."
"That seems...bad."
"I mean, they have to get close enough to us to do any damage, so it's fine."
Paraphrased quotes from the 5 hour long Sea of Thieves stream with Pat and Simone that sound like me writing dialogue between Ed and/or Izzy and Stede lmaooooo
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cleromancy · 10 months ago
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making up* the perfect robin for dickbats n then just. yoinking him away and giving him to bruce. hmmm. Sucks
*importing from a non-canon timeline story but the adaptation choices 100% set him up to be robin for dick ykwi FUCKING mean
#always conflicted bc. i never wanted dick to be batman forever obviously.#but ummmmmmmmm. sometimes. a little. as a treat#and he has to hate it the whole time except for damian pretty much.#(I Also Think the effect that would start having on damian as he started getting old enough to realize it#would be really interesting!!! like this is the most important thing in the world to me but it makes my favorite person miserable.#like i dont... delve into that in lbof bc damians not one of the pov characters buuuut in the as yet unpublished sequel#you do start seeing some of what that means 4 their relationship... hueheuehe)#and. lol. i only know the broad strokes of what dcs been doing with damian since the reboot but what ive heard i really havent liked.#and i absolutely have not heard anything that makes me reconsider my stance that narratively speaking damian makes no intuitive sense as+#bruces robin. smh#also while im complaining about like. the reboot taking away the existing structure that had been set up for damian as a character to play+#off of.#colin would have been SUCH a good supporting character for damian... he was in SIX ISSUES but the freakin. potential!!!!#everyone who writes damian with a hero bff with a nothing personality: it doesn't have to be like this. take my hand#dc#like specifically damian was this traumatized displaced abused child and the similarities and differences btwn him and colin aka abuse &#the way that damian latched onto him so fast n kept trying to impress him which like. alright damian was trying pretty hard to impress+#everybody at the time. hes the baby tryhard we know this.#BUT. LIKE. him seeing someone his age and not immediately wanting to write them off as a simpleton or whatever yk... like#was significant particularly bc colin Did think he was cool without yk. the relationship dynamic devolving into fawning or whatever#but like to HAVE the contrast btwn them their backgrounds their motives & demeanors but you still had damian recognizing that smth about+#them is The Same. ugh#whagever its fine. its fine. i have to do everything mysellf aroumd here but its fine.
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veone · 1 year ago
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I appreciate my anxiety being oh so physical because-
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stardustanddaffodils · 2 years ago
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i think i need to stop being a wimp who goes oh well other ppl are doing it so i guess its fine... and maye i should too so they like me! no! youre right to have your boundaries! stop it!
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queen-mabs-revenge · 2 years ago
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it really is the worst material-conditions ignorance on bald display.
here in ireland you heard this shit from liberals all the time re: the constitutional 8th amendment total abortion ban. "oh well people can travel to england if they need an abortion"
the people who can travel outside of the borders of a legal oppression are those who are able financially, physically, mentally, and social obligations-wise. in ireland that meant that pregnant people at the most dire intersections of capitalist oppression were denied abortion bodily autonomy. if you didn't have the money, couldn't take off work, couldn't leave behind people in your care or organizing and taking a trip was beyond your physical or mental remit, fuck you i guess?
liberals would often come back with a "we can fund charities that can help" rebuttal — thee most liberal of solutions because it does nothing to challenge the oppressive system, and also reinforces paternalistic ideas of agency conferred by their own philanthropic largesse. that thriving is something to be doled out by their organizations instead of something that should be owned and acted on by people themselves.
every time you leave systems of oppression unchallenged and tell people to make their own way to safety, you reify those systems as valid as you're leaving room for them to exist.
and people who benefit in some way from the structures of capitalism and class society that precipitate these violences will always be invested in doing just that. they might want to make sure that they aren't touched by those specific forms of structural violence (and preserving their wealth is a good way to do that), but truly challenging a capitalist system they benefit from will be always be a worse sin to them than its inherent violence.
that's where the liberal impulse to try these narratives of 'well just move — i'll even help!' comes from. they've got to get people to buy into a seemingly well-intentioned narrative in order to legitimize their methods of preserving class society.
people need to recognize this as a ruling class co-optation of genuine struggles for liberation, because as capitalism convulses in chaos around us, this is only going to get used more and more to try and fracture revolutionary solidarity and preserve the blood-soaked scaffolding that allows them to protect their own living standards.
and yes, history shows that they'll turn to fascism when the working class starts rattling that framework before they let it be dismantled from the goodness of their bleeding hearts.
The thing blue state leftists don’t seem to understand about red states is that telling minorities to “just leave” is really insidious. That is exactly what the republicans want. They want to make their state so miserable and dangerous and scary for everyone who isn’t a conservative cisgender heterosexual white Christian that those people leave. Leave behind their family, their homes, their friends, their jobs, their community, the places they’ve lived their entire life. With every person who leaves it is one less gay person teaching their children, one less person protesting outside the capitol, one less blue voter trying to stop the place they call home from sliding into fascism.
Many of us cannot afford to ‘just leave’ and many of us don’t want to because contrary to popular belief, North Carolina isn’t an irredeemable shithole with nothing to offer and no sense of community. People do leave red states for their safety but that does not fix the underlying problem, that doesn’t even make the problem better.
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carsickcrow · 2 months ago
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i’ve been constantly thinking about how i Need to start medically transitioning soon. and i was like. hey i had a draft where i said that basically. maybe i’ll post that now because i’m still thinking it and
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novermebr…
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tardis--dreams · 8 months ago
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I wish i could get buproprion without a prescription this shit is way too good to give up ㅠㅠ
#damn it#i stopped my meds for a week and it didn't change a thing#but i took them again just to see if that would make a difference and holy shit#i was thinking about pausing taking them for a while now because i wanted to have the side effects back#like when i first started taking them 2020#and i never did because i thought I'd be miserable due to withdrawal and also it would take longer than a week to 'reset' my...#body? brain? idk. whatever. it actually makes a huge difference for me though#i hate how you have to get insulted by doctors in order to get these meds#I'd even pay for it myself fuck health insurance coverage#but noooo#can't have shit#sooooo#i gotta think about a way to continue to get them#it shouldn't be as hard as adhd meds to get it from my family doctor but I've been thinking it probably would be better#to not bring them up with her and instead suffer from my ps*chiatrist's insults for some more time#because so far there is no mention of mental illness in my file at my family doctor's office despite mentioning the ADs#if I'd get them prescribed there they would absolutely add depression and i do not want that#maybe my ps*chiatrist retires or dies soon then I'll never talk to one ever again but while she's there i may as well use her#as my drug supplier#(she's probably 52 but we've had two (2!) psychiatrists under the age of 50 die within the last 6 months in this tiny town#which has caused quite some issues because we have like 4 in total lmao#(so it wasn't a joke saying maybe she'll die soon. anyone could die anytime is the point. i think about people dying a lot and what would#change in my life then. (idk just felt like the phrasing was weird and wanted to elaborate but it whatever) )#void screams
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drop-dead-dropout · 5 months ago
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and even then, that won't help if you're institutionalized as a minor.
You wanna actually help institutionalized mentally ill people? Get them legal help. Post their rights on the walls. Give them access to phones and lawyers. “My small business sells cutsie scrubs for inpatients!!!” literally nobody cares what they are wearing in the fucking hospital but you Becca. shut the fuck up
#my rights (which WERE helpfully posted on the walls) were violated many times#in various loopholey ways that were transparently about keeping them out of trouble#for example they'dfind clever ways to not let you eat while having some paper thin excuse of you're not “safe” to be in whatever eating are#(generalized language cause I've been to ten of these places(#same for not letting you use the bathroom#though one time they went full mask off and said “you talk back so i don't want to open the bathroom for you”#every time I'd complain to the shift leads (who were often the ones doing it)#to my therapist and parents (who suddenly became a fountain of excuses for them)#to those little complaint forms (four years and i never once got answered.)#there was literally Nothing i could do#or if there was my FOURTEEN YEAR OLD SELF was not properly informed of it#this isn't even getting into all the times i got physically assaulted by other patients and basically morning was done#i got beat up 7 times in 14 days at one ward#guess what they did when they noticed the very obvious pattern of me getting targeted by violence?#NOTHING#they literally even had a 2nd ward for my age group THAT I HAD BEEN IN PREVIOUSLY but nooooooo they couldn't move me!#that's too much WORK#meanwhile i went to sleep with hair pulled out of my scalp and bruises forming on the back of my neck#and don't even get me STARTED on how many medications they put me on and didn't tell me the side effects EVEN WHEN I ASKED#i took antipsycotics for multiple YEARS not knowing they were the cause of my sudden & unexpected weight gain#and involuntary movements and general body fuckery#and they made me take it in the MORNING and then i got in trouble if i was sleeping during the day#EVEN THOUGH IT CAUSES DROWSINESS AND I WAS TAKING A QUITE HIGH DOSE?? AT SEVEN IN THE MORNING???#jesus. i'm sorry for the rant#4 years.#4 years of this#it's over but idk if i'll ever truly heal 😚🤣😜!!!#antipsychiatry
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kimstills · 3 months ago
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crazy
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pairing: aaron hotchner x fem!bau!reader
summary: after one heated and spontaneous night together, aaron can’t seem to get his pretty subordinate (or her pussy) out of his head.
content warnings: smut, 18+, minors do not interact!, pussy!whipped hotch, age gaps, dirty talk, rough unprotected office sex, multiple orgasms, oral (f receiving, mentions of m receiving in the past), choking, hair pulling, ass slapping, groping, some angst if u squint, love confessions and some asshole behavior, hotch is a munch and masturbates in his office.
word count: 6.5k (yea…)
a/n: this may seem a lil out of character for hotch? we all know he’s a professional thru and thru but the point is this is that he’s pussy whipped! also lots of flashbacks in italics whoopsies <3
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Aaron was sure he was going crazy.
Or maybe he already was, and he was just starting to feel the effects of his craziness.
Aaron Hotchner, usually poised in a way that unwillingly intimidated others and made them back away from him, was unraveling in a way he had never done so before.
Having a one-night stand with his subordinate, the same subordinate he had been harboring painfully arising feelings for literal years, often led to such a reaction.
He could still recount every single detail from that night, from the moment the tension between you both began building itself up to the moment it actually snapped. It was as if he had everything engraved in his mind; the views he never thought he'd get to see to the things he never thought he would get to feel etched into his brain.
It had all been a blur that night, and a part of Aaron still couldn’t wrap his head around the fact that you reciprocated his attraction towards you, letting him, not only touch you but also fuck you.
You two had stayed up late in your shared hotel room only to talk, really. After you and the rest of the team had wrapped up a somewhat good case, you only wanted to rant to one another. Aaron knew that you weren’t a ‘whiskey girl,’ or whatever it was that you said, but he had offered you a drink either way.
Neither one of you had even gotten tipsy, so he couldn’t even blame it on the alcohol. But the connection had always been there, though, one thing finally leading to another and all the unsaid words and stolen glances between you both began to surface.
It was as if everything you both silently felt for another was starting to seep through and everything that hindered you from telling each other no longer mattered.
It had felt so hot, from the way you held him close with your legs wrapped around his waist to the messy yet passionate kisses you shared, your bodies connected beneath.
It was everything Aaron envisioned it to be. But, as magical and heated as it was, he was the one to have ended things before they even had a chance at starting.
The morning after, as soon as you had both untangled your bodies from one another and got dressed to get back home to Quantico, he had done the stupidest thing imaginable.
“We shouldn’t do this again.”
You froze in your spot, half-way through tugging your pants up your legs. You blink at him from where he stood on the other side of the bed, already dressed, “This?”
“Yes.” Aaron says, voice awfully neutral.
You frown, jutting out your bottom lip that same way you did when you were thinking, “May I ask why?”
He takes a deep breath, “I’m your boss,” he gives you a pointed look, as if he had to remind you after fucking you dumb, “and you’re my subordinate. This goes against several workplace regulations and if anyone were to find out we could both lose our jobs.”
You’re quiet for several moments after that, and Aaron uses the silence to his advantage to prepare for any arguments you could be thinking of to use against him. He can’t seem to read you, though, your expression pensive as you stare at the floor.
Then you shrug. “Okay.” You say, simple and nonchalant.
Aaron watches as you continue finishing getting ready and he doesn’t know if he should ask if you were actually okay with it.
He decides that it’s for the best, not getting any pushback or having to argue on why he’s just subconsciously pushing you away after having one of the best nights of his life.
“Okay.” He repeats, giving you a small nod, even though you weren’t looking at him. With one last glance to your surprisingly calm figure, he finishes collecting the rest of his things and heads out of the room.
Even after the team had checked out of their hotel and settled onto the jet, you didn’t spare him a second glance. You hadn’t necessarily moved to ignoring him or silently lashing out, but it was as if everything went back to normal, with no mentions or glances back to that night.
That should be what was driving him crazy; the way he didn’t know if you were only calm because you were planning on going to the higher-ups, to HR, about what had happened. If you were secretly planning on putting him on blast out of anger or betrayal or telling him that he had coerced you to sleep with him and threatened you in case you didn’t.
No. What was driving him crazy was that he couldn’t get you out of his head, even after he broke things off.
Everything was engraved into his mind, from the sight of you on your knees, mouth full of his cock while you stared up at him with tear-pricked eyelashes and basked in his praises. Or the way your nails dug into his skin as he thrusted into you and the way you felt around him, all while he took pleasure in the sweet sounds he emitted from you every second.
He was going mad, and the already established feelings he had for you weren’t helping, either.
Aaron stared at you from inside his office, studied your features from afar whilst you sat on your desk. Your face was set in a neutral expression, flickering your attention from your computer screens to the physical files in front of you, but all he could see was the same face and person morphed into the one that had been withering in pleasure underneath him.
“Hotch…” you whine, a hand wrapped around his bicep as he dipped a finger inside your glistening pussy.
He watched as your back arched off the bed, throwing your head back against the pillows at the feeling of his thick digit inside you, “What, sweetheart?” He asked, the nickname rolling of his tongue easily. “What do you need? Hm?”
Your hips stuttered as he inserted another finger, thrusting them in and out you, “Y-You. I want you. Inside me.” You peered at him through your fluttering lashes, your mascara smudged underneath your eyes from the tears that had slipped out while you were sucking his cock.
“Yeah?” His voice is filled with amusement and bewilderment, one part of him indulging in seeing you this way—all disheveled and needy for him—while the other was still stunned at the whole thing. “Want my cock inside you after you just had it in your mouth?”
You nod meekly at his words, a sweet pout adorning your flushed lips.
Despite the heat and tension that suffocated the room, Aaron’s heart fluttered at the sight of you. The way you were asking for him ever so bashfully after just giving him the best head of his life tugged at his heartstrings and made his cock twitch.
“Please,” you whisper, bucking your hips upwards. A stuttered gasp emits from your lips when you feel the tip of his dick prod at your sopping entrance, “Aaron…”
Aaron lets out a low, throaty groan at the sound of his first name mumbled in desperation, and he thinks back to all the times he’s thought about you like this. How many times he’s dreamed of having you underneath him, encaged by his broad figure and whining for him.
“I got you, sweet girl,” he says promisingly. He lifts himself to his full height on his knees, lining himself up with your entrance and holding onto the meat of your thigh. Another groan utters from the back of his throat, mixed in with your gasps and puffs of breath as he begins to sink inside you.
A knock on his office door forces Aaron to snap out of his train of thought. He looks down at himself, registering the painfully hard boner he was now sporting. Quickly, he scooted further into his desk so that the tent in his pants wouldn’t be visible by whoever was knocking on his door. Clearing his throat, he lets out a somewhat proper ‘come in.’
In walks Garcia, and Aaron doesn’t know if he should be thankful or mortified it was her out of all people.
“Sir?” She asks politely, files in hand and head tilted in an ever so Penelope manner. “We’re ready whenever you are.”
Right. It was barely nine in the morning and Aaron was already sporting a growing tent in his suit pants.
He nods, doing his best to feign being busy, “I’ll be there in five, Garcia.”
He wants to think he comes out as somewhat normal, but panic surges through him briefly when her expression turns into a curious one.
“Are you alright, sir?” She takes a step forward and Aaron has to hold himself back from screaming for her to stay where she is. “You look red and pale at the same time.”
He shakes his head, waving a hand dismissively yet good-naturedly, “I’m fine. Jack is coming down with something and I think I might be, too.”
Great. Now he was using his innocent son as a scapegoat for his own horniness and bad decisions. Some father he was.
Garcia nods, looking convinced enough before bidding him a nod shuffling out of his office and closing the door behind her.
Aaron lets out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding in. His boner had softened the slightest bit, and he was conflicted in trying to make it go down completely or taking care of it right here and now. But the thought of having to face his team after fucking himself into his fist mortified him. Of seeing you, right after fucking himself into his fist to the thought of you after leaving you hanging coldly.
He opted out of it, though it took more than five minutes to settle himself before heading over to the conference room. Once again, he tried to play it as casual as possible while he walked to his seat with everyone staring expectantly at him, including you.
“Let’s get started.”
The team’s briefings went on as so, everyone presenting their perspective cases and discoveries within them. It was a bit easier to lose focus of what he was thinking earlier when the gory crime scenes showed up on the TV screen each time someone went up, but all focus was lost when it was your turn.
You stood from your seat, taking the control from Penelope’s hands and talking everyone through the case you were currently focusing on.
Aaron held his fist up to his face as he tried to focus on the details of the case instead of you and your entire being. Your hair whipped out and into your face each time you looked from the screen and back to the team. The top part of your dress twisted with each turn and motion you made, the bottom part of it creasing along with it. Was it a new dress?
Didn’t matter. It didn’t compare to the pajama shorts he had slowly, almost tauntingly, pulled down your legs before–
“...makes me think he’s keeping them in a secluded space. He obviously likes the control and the pleasure of having his victims’ screams and cries for help to himself, so I’ve advised police to search condemned and empty areas far away from the city and even on the outskirts of the town.” You finished with a nod and once again Aaron was snapped away from his unholy thoughts.
While everyone else added their own commentary and advice, Aaron realized he had been the only to have not said anything during your presentation, too preoccupied with you once more.
“Adding in the possibility of him keeping them outside of the main town the victims have been found in was a smart move,” He quickly added, trying his best to comment on what he had paid attention to. His breath hitched when you turned to look at him. “Law enforcement might have missed that and can collaborate with police from the next town over. Good job.”
You smiled softly and nodded in appreciation, “Thank you.”
Fuck. How were you so nonchalant about this? Aaron’s mind wandered back to the probability of you getting back at him by going to Strauss about your rendezvous. It was only early morning Monday, the first day back in the office after said events, so it wasn’t a surprise he hadn’t heard anything from her. Yet.
He nodded back in response, though, casting his gaze downwards and collecting his things, “Great. I expect everyone’s reports to be on my desk by tonight, please.”
Everyone stood from their seats, shuffling out of the room with mumbled conversations. Aaron held back, taking his time in looking through his files and stacking them together while you did the same, leaving the two of you alone once everyone else had gone.
He wanted to say something, gather the courage to ask you something. Anything, just to make sure you were alright. If the two of you were still right, in spite of everything.
Only when you finished collecting things did he bring himself to open his mouth, a soft utterance of your name to get your attention.
You stopped in your tracks, a good couple feet away from him and the door. You stared at him, waiting for him to speak with a neutral expression on your face.
Not one of annoyance or irritation. Just expectant.
God, you really were driving him crazy.
You raised a brow when he didn’t say anything, “…Yes?”
He clears his throat again before asking, “Is everything okay?”
You blink and tilt your head, dumbfounded, “Why wouldn’t it be?”
Aaron grips at his files, guilt consuming him all over again. “With us,” he clarifies, swallowing harshly. “Is everything okay with us?”
You blink a couple more times, eyes wandering to the side as if you’re trying to catch onto what he’s implying.
It makes his heart churn.
“Oh.” You finally say, meeting his gaze. “Yes. We both agreed, no? To what you said.”
Aaron can’t decipher if the smile you give him is genuine or jeering, and he can’t tell if what you say last is clarifying as his answer or if it’s something underlyingly petty.
Either way it’s something. You’ve given him something and he’ll take it.
He nods finally, “Yes, we did.”
You shrug, smiling a bit wider this time, “All good then.”
He gives another curt nod, stepping to the side so you could exit the room. He moves to follow behind you, but he gets a whiff of your perfume as soon as you brush past him. The scent makes him halt and he has to hold onto one of the back posts of a chair to stabilize himself.
He takes a deep breath, inhaling the remnants that linger behind you for a moment.
He truly was going crazy.
The rest of the day goes by the same and hardly any work gets done on Aaron’s end. He’d scribble whatever he needed to write down or fill out then get distracted by the void of you.
It was getting impossible for him to keep working with the relentless problem that was his ongoing boner. He was tucked into his desk all the way yet it hurt whenever he leaned forward or backwards while moving around. Oftentimes he tried to give himself some sort of relief by running a hand over himself, but it didn’t help much, and the dirty thoughts about you certainly didn’t either.
The sounds that filled the room were lewd, your gags and moans from below mixed in with Aaron’s grunts and words of encouragement echoing off the hotel room’s walls. His large hand was entangled in your hair, pushing your head forward to take more of him, as if your jaw wasn’t aching enough already.
Though there wasn’t a way for him to tell, really. You gave no sign or indication that you wanted him to stop, your tongue swiping at the head of his cock each time he dipped your head even more. Saliva pooled from your tongue and leaked from your mouth, dripping into the carpeted floor and entailing a trail from your lips to your chin.
Aaron’s head was thrown back in utter pleasure and astonishment, bewildered that you’d ever be doing this to him. He didn’t want to finish before you, but it was taking everything him to not give in and fuck your face the way he truly desired.
He’d never received head this good, nor had he received it much recently. His legs were spread with you settled in between them contently. “That’s it sweetheart,” he mumbled, brushing fallen strands of hair out of your face lovingly. “Taking me so good, such a good girl.”
His praises only edged you on even further, bobbing your head up and down a couple more times before pulling off of him with a slick ‘pop!’ You rest your head on his thigh in an attempt to catch your breath, a shaky, stuttered sigh heaving from your chest as your hand comes up to continue the rest of your work.
Aaron has to run a hand over his face to try and keep his composure, his nails digging into the skin of his palm albeit their short length. He throws his head back against his chair, a grunt threatening to emit from his throat as he coercively runs his hand over his boner.
At least he wishes he can say it’s coercively, really it’s just a tainted image of you he’s embedded in his own dirty mind.
It doesn’t take long for Aaron to give in and reach inside his pants, sparing another careful glance to his now locked office door before springing his painfully hard cock free. A low, pleased grunt spills from his pursed lips as he wraps his hand around himself. He gives his length a good tug, bucking his hips up instantaneously, the same way he did when you first wrapped your mouth around him.
Still, as cautiously and quietly as possible, he begins to stroke at his length, a hand covering his mouth as he continues to dart his eyes from below himself to his door–as if anyone would walk in at any second and catch him jerking himself off in his own government-issued office.
He begins to imagine that his fist is you. That you’re sitting in the space between his legs with your hot mouth licking long stripes up his length and that your hand is toying with his balls the same way you did before. It only makes him pump at his fist even faster, the hand that was covering his mouth shooting down to the armrest of his chair, gripping at the cushioned leather as he began to reach his high.
“Fuck, Hotch, fuck!” Your whines are eccentric, head thrown back in pure ecstasy. Your legs wrap around Aaron’s waist, pulling him closer to you as he continues to thrust into your sopping pussy.
Aaron groans loudly, silently thanking that his and yours room was placed further down the hall from everyone else’s. His hands rest at the bottom of your thighs, his large hand gripping the flesh for support as he pounds into you relentlessly. Your pussy grips him like a vice and your nails dig into the skin of his biceps from where you hold him.
His sight is focused on you only, the way your tits bounce with each thrust and the way your mouth is curled into a wide ‘o’ from the pleasure you’re receiving.
“So good for me, baby,” he mumbles, hand coming down to grab at your breast, squeezing possessively before leaning down to crash his lips against yours hungrily.
You whine through the kiss, grabbing a fistful of his hair and tugging while your other hand scratches at his back. A string of saliva connects at your lips when he pulls away, his head dipping down to kiss and suck at your neck while he grabs your hips to better pistol himself inside you.
A moan echoes through the room again and straight to his ear, your back arching into his chest, “Feels so good, Aaron, so good!”
Aaron’s release sputters everywhere messily and he has to bite at his fist to stop himself from groaning loudly. His come spills onto parts of his leg, his desk, and even onto the floor. He leans back into his chair, trying to contain himself and his heaving chest.
He takes a look at the mess he created–the mess you unknowingly entailed from him. Like clockwork, the paranoia and guilt from doing this begins to seep in and he’s quick to snatch a handful of tissues from the box he kept on the corner of his desk to clean himself up. He tucks himself back into his pants then moves to clean at his desk and his floor.
Clearly, he hadn’t known what he was thinking. Not when it came to calling things off between the two of you before they even happened and certainly not now after he realized the spell he was currently in.
The last hour of the work day comes by agonizingly slowly. After his little session, Aaron finds it a little bit easier to get the rest of his work done (key word: a little bit). The rest of the members all begin to spill into his office to hand in their finished paperwork and files, all of them sparing him brief glances of curiosity and concern–the same way Garcia had done earlier–before bidding him goodnight and leaving.
The only one that hasn’t come to hand in anything was you. He knew you were still here, he could see you sitting at your desk from the view through his blinds, scribbling away casually like you had been doing so the whole day. After you had stalled to follow behind the rest of your co-workers, Aaron had gotten up from his desk and pretended to be walking around his office with a file in hand, lifting his head every few minutes to see if you were ever making your way towards him to turn in your work.
He wanted desperately to know what you were thinking. If you were secretly being tortured by the recollections of your hook-up, too, or if you truly didn’t care about him basically dumping you after having sex with you and telling you that it could never happen again due to your perspective titles.
With a defeated sigh, he closes the file he was still pretending to read. His eyes instinctively travel back to where your desk was at and his breath immediately catches in his throat when he sees that you aren’t there. He hears the sound of footsteps approaching closer and closer through the staircase that leads up to his office and you walk in soon after.
You freeze in the doorway when you see that he’s already staring at you. Your eyes flicker to a space behind him then back at him before you take a tentative step back and glance at the clock hung on the wall facing his desk, “Uh, is this a bad time?”
“No!” Aaron takes a step forward when you take another one back. He rubs at the back of his neck awkwardly, “No, no, it’s not. I didn’t know you were still here. Everyone else left almost half an hour ago.”
“Oh,” you glance back behind you to the rest of the bullpen before looking back at him. “I was just finishing up the reports you said you wanted done by the end of today.” You jut your chin toward the stack of files you were carrying in one arm.
“Right.” He clears his throat, motioning to the pile of files the rest of the team had stacked on his desk. “You can just leave them there.”
You nod, giving him a small smile.
He watches as you walk over to his desk, taking in your appearance while you double-check that everything was correct. He swallowed harshly, taking in the way your skirt hugged your lower figure perfectly the same way it did during the morning debriefing. Your hair flows ever so slightly and he takes in a good look at your side profile when you tuck a loose strand behind your ears while you continue to flip through the pages of your file.
You’re breathtakingly gorgeous and Aaron doesn’t know if what suddenly makes him start walking up behind you is from what he’s felt since sleeping with you or if it’s everything he’s felt since way before that.
You halt your movements when you feel his presence directly behind you, gasping when you turn and find how close he was standing.
“Hotch–” you gulp, heat blooming through your cheeks albeit feeling confused. “W-What are you doing?”
Aaron takes in your tone and he can tell that you’re not asking in a disgusted, annoyed way, more so in a flustered way. He lifts a hand to brush the hair that frames your face past your face but doesn’t actually move to do it, keeping it there to see if you push him away. But you don’t. So he brushes it away.
“I can’t get you out of my head.” He mumbles, eyes boring into the side of your face as you stare up at him as best as you can from your practically rigid figure.
You scoff, a sound filled with so much humor yet so little at the same time, “You were the one that said this couldn’t happen again.” You twist your head, trying to turn your body around more with the way he had you pressed against the front of his desk.
“That was a mistake,” he whispers. He dips his head so that his mouth is by your ear, watching you shiver from the proximity.
“A mistake?” You repeat, brows raised. You lull your head to the side but you don’t know if you do it to get away from him or to grant him access to your neck.
Aaron takes it as the latter and hovers his lips over your skin, the same spot where he had left splotches of pink and purple last time.
“Yes,” he confirms, “a mistake.”
You want to ask why he said it then, want to press him for answers but you can’t when his hot breath sends shivers down your spine and arms. Your legs go weak when he brings a hand around you to wrap at your middle, big hand splayed across your stomach to pull you in even closer, if possible.
“H-Hotch,” you clear your throat. “We can’t. You said so yourself.” You roll your shoulders back in a weak effort to push him away, but all he does is hold you tighter.
“I was wrong,” he mutters, pressing a feather-light kiss to the very side of your neck. He takes a deep breath, inhaling the aroma of your perfume again and letting out a pleased hum from the back of his throat. “I was so wrong.”
You gasp when he flings an arm out in front of you, proceeding to knock over the multiple things from his desk. Files, pens, and other trinkets fly off the hard wood and land on the floor with a loud crash. Aaron spins you around before you can process the whole mess, turning you around so that you were facing him.
“Aaron-!” Your mind is a whirlwind as he grabs at your hips and easily sets you down on the edge of the desk. His lips crash onto yours messily and you hum, satisfied.
The kiss quickly becomes sloppy and hungry, muffled whines as you two practically devour one another. Your hands wrap around his neck while his own roam your body, curious hands searching for the zipper of your dress and bunching up the fabric in the process. You mewl when he finally finds it and slowly tugs it down. You break apart from the kiss in order to help him, scrambling from side to side so that it comes off from under you.
Aaron lets out a groan at the sight of you as he tosses the dress to the side. You’re wearing a matching set: a lacy white bra that cups your breasts gorgeously and a lacy white thong paired with it. It takes everything in him to not come undone right then and there.
Holding your gaze, Aaron sinks to his knees, shrugging off his suit jacket as he kneels before you.
“Aaron…”
He immediately shushes you, discarding the jacket somewhere next to your dress on his office floor. “Spread your legs for me, sweetheart.”
Instead of obeying, you knock your knees together bashfully, the fat of your thighs pressing against each other.
Aaron’s eyes darken at your shy defiance. “I said spread your legs.” His hands come out to grab behind your knees and you gasp again when he spreads them apart forcefully, large hands holding them in place.
“Oh, sweet girl,” he utters, gaze locked on your soaked panties. His palms slide down your legs, eyes flickering back up at you as he begins to kiss at your calves. Each peck to your skin leaves a wet trail from your earlier kiss and you whine in anticipation as he makes his way up before coming face to face with your pussy. His fingers hook themselves inside the thin fabric and you immediately get the message, lifting your hips once more so he could slide them down your legs
Aaron swiftly shoves the wet material into his pockets, wasting no time before diving straight in and burying his head in between your thighs.
His tongue swiping at your folds elicits a loud moan from you, your hands shooting out to grab at his head, “Aaron!” You yell out, fingers tangling in his hair to stabilize yourself from the suddenness.
Aaron grunts from below you, the sound sending vibrations up your body and causing you to arch into his touch. He didn’t know how he hadn’t thought of tasting you that night in the hotel room, too preoccupied with the pleasure he had received from you. But–dare he say–this was better than head, better than anything else he had ever gotten, tasted or even done. He wasn’t even a minute into devouring you and he had already decided that this was the best pussy he had ever had in his whole life.
“Fuck, sweetheart. You don’t know how many times I’ve thought about this pussy.” He lapped at your juices, mouth hot on your dripping cunt. His hands continued to grip at your thighs, large palms still keeping you in place from where you were writhing in pleasure.
“A-Aaron,” you whimper, grinding your hips against his face. “Please, I need you. Need you so bad.”
Your head was thrown back in utter bliss, hips stuttering with each nibble at your clit. Your fingers tugged his face closer despite the longing you had to feel him inside you, caging his head to keep him there.
Aaron couldn’t help but bask in the sounds he was pulling from you. It was as if his mouth had a mind of his own and all it could focus on was licking up every single one of your juices, the taste nearly intoxicating. He flickered his eyes up to you, taking in the way your chest heaved and your breasts pushed against the cups of your bra, practically spilling out.
Without removing his tongue from your pussy, he reaches behind you and easily undoes the hooks.
You let the straps fall from your shoulders and aid him in tossing it somewhere in the room along with your dress. Desperately, you reach for Aaron’s hands and place them on your breasts, groaning when he rolls each already hard and sensitive nipple in between your fingers.
Your legs begin to shake and you’re quick to wrap them around Aaron’s head, the heels of your feet digging into his muscular back. “Mm, fuck, ‘m gonna cum,” you toss your head back as the coil in your belly threatens to snap.
“Yeah?” He teases, angling his head so that he could spit onto your cunt, all before diving right back in and swirling it together with your arousal. “You gonna cum on my mouth, honey?”
You nod, feverishly, eyes rolling to the back of your head as you feel your orgasm getting closer and closer.
“Go ahead, pretty,” Aaron ushers, voice deep and rough from his non stop nibbling and sucking. “Come on my mouth, sweetheart.”
A certain bite on your clit immediately has you seeing stars and the office is soon filled with your cries of ecstasy as your orgasm washes over you violently. Your body shakes and stutters as you ride out the high on his face, leaning backwards until your back was resting against his desk.
Aaron doesn’t relent even as you begin to come down from your high, enhancing the way your legs shook from where they were wrapped around him.
“No, n-no more, Aaron, p-please,” you begged, keeping your back on the desk while weakly attempting to push him away.
“Just one more, honey. You can give me one more, can’t you?”
You don’t get the chance to answer, back arching off the desk as his fingers prodded at your entrance briefly before he shoved two inside. A high-pitched moan emitted from your swollen lips and your hips rutted against his face once more as he scissored the thick digits inside your gummy walls.
“That’s it, pretty girl, that’s it,” Aaron’s sultry words only encouraged you further, his face wet with your arousal and the release of your first orgasm. “I’m gonna make it up to you, sweetheart. But first you gotta give me another one.”
His thumb came up alongside his mouth to rub rough circles on your already sensitive, swollen clit and you immediately felt that coil snap once more, mixing in with the first orgasm you hadn’t even properly come down from.
“Aaron, Aaron, Aaron!” You mumbled dumbly, mouth agape and head hanging back from the desk as you rode out your second high on his face, the heavy wood shaking with every motion.
Aaron’s head was buried even further in between your legs, lips trying to catch every single drop that leaked from your hole, pulling out your fingers and cleaning them with a swirl from his tongue. He delivered a sweet kiss to your folds before standing, his knees cracking in response to being kneeled on the ground for so long.
He leans over, bringing a guiding hand to the back of your neck to get you to sit up, “You good, honey?” Aaron asks, brushing away the stray hands of hair that had stuck to your face. “Still with me?”
You hum, nodding weakly, “Need you, Aaron.”
Aaron chuckles at your fucked-out form, pressing a gentle kiss to the side of your head, “I got you, sweetheart. Bend over the desk for me.”
You stand on wobbly legs and do as he says blindly, the need to have him inside you outshining your nearing overstimulation. You feel yourself salivate as the sound of him undoing his belt is heard from behind you and you look back to watch him pull himself out from his boxers.
He hears you gasp when his cock springs out and hits against his stomach, tip an angry red and leaking with precome. He wraps a hand around himself and groans at how painfully hard he was. He quickly lines himself up with your entrance, slapping his length against your dripping folds before easing himself inside little by little.
You whine from in front of him when he bottoms out, the tip of his dick easily hitting your sweet spot the same way it did before in the hotel. This time, though, it feels even better with how wet you already were, his cock glistening when he pulls out before shoving himself back in roughly.
It doesn’t take long for Aaron to set a brutal pace, hands on your hips as he begins to pound into you from behind ruthlessly, a stark contrast from the way he had asked you if you were okay.
“Fuck, sweetheart. You have no idea how crazy you’ve driven me since I first fucked this pretty pussy,” Aaron grunted form behind, fingers digging so hard into your hips he was sure there would be an imprint there. “Had to get myself off in my own office, that’s how crazy you had me going.”
You don’t answer. You can’t answer. Your mouth is wide open, small huffs the only noise you can make while a line of saliva drools from your tongue. It’s only when you feel him wrap your hair in his hand and pull your back flush against his chest that you squeal, the angle pushing his cock further inside you.
“You like that, pretty?” He asks deeply, voice hoarse and gravely as he continues to pound into your pussy, the squelching that comes from beneath scandalous. “Like getting this pussy fucked by me, huh?”
You nod dumbly, too fucked out to properly answer him. A harsh slap against your ass makes you cry out, the sting somewhat snapping you back to reality.
“Answer me,” Aaron commands, tugging at your hair and making your back arch even further against him. “Did I fuck you dumb like last time?”
“Yes, yes, yes,” you babble, legs shaking even in your standing position. “I l-love it, Aaron. Feels so g-good.”
He chuckles against your ear, the way you could barely register his questions only making him quicken his pace, “You gonna come on my cock, sweetheart? Gonna give me one more wrapped around me?”
You nod with as much fervor as possible, “Yes, y-yes, can I, Aaron? Want you to c-cum inside me, please.”
“Yeah? Want me to stuff you full of my cum?” He asks. He doesn’t bother to correct you when you don’t answer, instead snaking his hand to your front and down to your pussy.
The feel of him rubbing circles on your clit is the final push you need before you’re clenching around him, body trembling against him as he continues his assault on your swollen bud.
It doesn’t take long for Aaron to spill his own release inside you, giving you a couple more shallow thrusts as he comes down from his own high.
You whine when you feel him pull out, a string of your mixed releases following suit on the tip of his cock.
“So good, baby,” he praises, wrapping a hand around your neck gently and pressing soothing kisses on your cheek. “Did so good for me.”
You lean your head against his shoulder as he reaches for some tissues to clean you up, “So I guess we’re definitely doing this again?”
Aaron laughs, a pink adorning his cheeks, “Yes. Yes, we are. In fact, I’m telling everyone to work from home tomorrow so I can take you on a proper date. I’m not risking going crazy again.”
You suppress a giggle, “You went crazy? Over my pussy?”
He sighs, “If only you knew.”
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