#take one and pass it around please 💕 everybody gets something

[dreaming-of-lu]

Heyo💖 I hope you are having the bestes time!

I was wondering if you can write a scenario of reader trying to hold the boys hands!

It can be anyone, but like either the reader is upset and is getting stuck in their head. They need one of the boys to ground them, but like they don’t want a hug, just need a hand.

Or

One of the boys just woke up from a nightmare and they can’t stop seeing the images from the dream. Reader notice this and is trying to comfort or ground them.

Something like that!

By the way you look gorgeous today💕💕

A/N: I am! Also thank you for being patient and shhiiieeettt, why thank you, you look gorgeous too doll 😘 Buckle in. CW: Gore, body horror and vomit (Hyrule), Panic attacks

o(〃＾▽＾〃)o Part 1 of 3 (Twilight, Hyrule, Legend)

Twilight

The cold feeling of ice that slithered down him had encased his entire being, freezing everything within him, from blood to veins to nerves. He stood rooted to his spot at the sight of all the portals opening right before him. What was clouded previously in purple smoke and shadows was now standing a pure crystal blue, beckoning them to step through to come home. There would be no more fighting, no more monsters to deal with, no more shadows, no more nothing. The journey was over, they were free to rest now, but an ache deep within his heart tore at the flesh, tissue, and muscle.

It was too good to be convincing, but it meant goodbye to everybody, especially you. You, who came bounding up to him, your face so giddy that it stung deep in his heart. You, who smashed your way through his heart and now leaving him; cold and all alone.

"Well," you excitedly bounced on your feet, beautiful colored eyes that stared into his own, making him weak in the knees, "this is it!"

"Yeah, haha."

Twilight gives a shaky grin, masking the feelings that rose deep in him; his inner voice and nerves yelled at him and begged him to beg you to stay with him. He wanted to be selfish, just this once; he wanted to be absolutely heedless, but he couldn't bring himself to do that to you.

"It's time for me to go; it was a long journey, but I'm glad I got to know all of you!"

'Please, don't leave me! Please!'

"I love you all, do take care of yourselves!" The sight of your bright smile made his chest clench to where he felt as if all the air was sucked right out of him, the feeling of being sucker punched hard in the gut. Sound slowly dispersed as his ears loudly began to ring; it was deafening. He didn't notice that one by one, all of them left except him. He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but he stood rooted to the spot.

Every sound made it sound like he was underwater, feeling chained to the floor as he watched the portal you went through disappear.

His eyes watered, the feeling of his heart threatening to burst through his chest as he heavily breathes, hoping to will himself around to head into the portal to his home. He couldn't shake himself out of it even as darkness began to edge along his vision. You were gone. Gone. He was all alone. Again. He whimpers, feeling like a child, lost and afraid, without the person they clung to. He sobs and sobs, begging loudly to the heavens for you to come back.

"Please," he keens, "don't leave me all alone."

Shadows encased him; a voice so faint yelled his name. It grows louder and louder, shaking him deep into his core.

"Link! Wake up!" His entire body jolts up, heart in his throat, panting wildly with wide eyes as they searched frantically. Body hunched in defense, ready to leap into a fight. He flinched at the feeling of a hand that quickly receded. So many thoughts and questions ran through his mind. Where was he? Who woke him up? They ran for miles.

"Link," the voice sounded so far away and warbly, "you need to breathe."

He greedily sucked in the air, heaving deep breaths before the heart in his chest began to slow from the terror that took him. With a blurry sight beginning to clear, he sees you. You. You sat before him on the bed in the shared bedroom in the same home, staring worriedly at him. Hair was a mess, your sleep-riddled eyes, and you were wearing one of his tunics; it slowly slipped off your shoulder, yet you still looked so gorgeous to him. The gentle feeling of your hand on his cheek made him sigh blissfully, nuzzling into your palm at the peace you held.

"Want to talk about it?" you voice nothing more than a whisper to his ears, soft enough to not shatter the air that overtook the bedroom. Twilight weakly shook his head,

"No," teary blues gazed into yours, "can I hold you?"

"Yes, always, darling."

Hyrule (Warning if you haven't read it in the note: Gore, Body horror, and vomit. Please skip if you are uncomfortable with this.)

"No, no, please!" Hyrule sobbed, his hands frantically pressing against the wound. Violently sobbing as he watched hopelessly at the blood that stained his hands, staining yours and his tunic, the smell of iron that made his stomach churn on the spot when it began to leak past his fingers. You swore you would stay out of this fight! You swore! Why did you have to be so foolish?! He can handle his own in a battle; Hyrule's like the other Links, always comes out victorious in the end. He was shaking. Shaking so bad.

Yet you don't know when to call it in when they are out of your zone. You weren't like them, any of them! You don't hold a triforce, you're not a holder of the master sword, and you're not a reincarnated Link!

"You are," Hyrule choked on his spit, "such a fool! You know we had it handled!"

He could use his magic! Hyrule closed his eyes, willing forth the ability to heal the wound.

Why? Why was his magic not working? Why does he not feel it? Hyrule looked panicky at his hands, hoping to see the familiar glow, only for the same red liquid that dyed his hands to glare right back at him. His brows furrowed, mind racing, digging into his memory at anything that could help heal you. A movement under his hands caught his attention.

He stared in horror as the wound widens before his eyes, skin and tissue peeling back to reveal organs. He felt his hands slowly sink into you; the blood stuck his hands together, forming them almost like crystallization; no matter how hard he pulled, they didn't budge. Your intestines began moving, wrapping around his wrists, tightly squeezing them, and bile rose in his throat at the feeling of them.

He began to yell loudly with the hope that somebody in the group would come to his aide, only for silence to answer him. He looks over his shoulder to see darkness staring back at him.

Hyrule jolts at the feeling of a hand clutching his arm; static crept up his arms and down the back of his neck.

Your wild, bloodshot eyes stared back at him. Your hand aggressively grabbed his tunic, forehead against forehead. Blood, spit, and bile spew from your lips and spat across his horror-stricken face.

"YOU COULD'VE SAVED ME!"

Hyrule's body shot forward, his legs scrambling out of his blanket, stumbling over his feet to book it little ways from camp. He fell onto his knees harshly, his body lurching forward, dry-heaving until vomit came out, crying harshly at the burn and the haunting image that never left his mind, burning into his lids.

"-ulie!" He sobbed. Everything hurt. His gut felt like it was squeezing the life out of him, eyes and nose burning. He couldn't stop crying; he cried harder when a hand rested on his back.

"Rulie, Hyrule," the voice sounded so far, yet it was near; he clung to it like a lifeboat upon the roaring waves of the angered seas that never ceased its brutal pounding. It was his anchor when the voice repeated itself,

"Hyrule," oh, so soft, so sweet, "you're safe; it was just a dream."

"Please," he whimpers, "please, don't leave me alone."

"I won't, Link. I won't."

Legend

Everything was screaming at him.

The endless tyrants, the never-ending feeling that he was in danger, consistently in fight or flight mode. Shadows lurked on the edge of his vision, threatening to completely shut the light out as his sight blurred. Everything was spinning; the breath he had escaped him, short gasps left his lips, and the sounds of the forest were drowned out by his own heartbeat pounding loudly with his ears.

'It's not safe! We're not safe!' His brain screamed at him, emotions going wild, flickering like a lit candle between every feeling. Not stopping on one or two, just continuously speeding rapidly like his eyes that ran back and forth in the haze of colors that overwhelmed him.

"Please," he gasped, "make it-"

He felt caged within his mind, feeling like he was stuck in his rabbit form, bouncing off the steel walls, hoping that he'll escape. How many minutes has it been? Two? Elven? He wasn't sure anymore, but the feeling tightened its hold on him, never letting him loose, just as if a Hinox had him in its hand.

"-end," it sounded so far and muffled. Feeling a hand land on his clenched one, he opens his and quickly traps it in his. The buzzing of his nerves vibrated through his hand, and he clenched it tighter, holding the person's hand to his beating chest.

"-end," muffled, "ca- -u -ar -e?"

"NO!" He sobs.

The voice sounded so far; he felt like he was head-first underwater again, relieving the nightmare he witnessed when Koholint Island disappeared and he woke up on a raft in the ocean.

"Please, don't let this be a dream!" He sobbed harshly.

"I got you, but I need you to breathe right now; can you do that? Follow my breathing."

In.

Out.

In. 2. and out. 2.

In. 2. 3. 4. and out. 2. 3. 4.

In. 2. 3. 4. 5. and out. 2. 3. 4. 5.

His sight clears, the first thing he sees was your eyes and your gentle smile.

"Hey there, bunny."

[ganjies]

hi, hello! Could I request a (romantic) Teru with a supernatural reader? Reader is a girl and has eaten the same thing that Nene did when turned into a fish (I don't know some specific English terms, sorry!).

But! Reader is in disguise as a student and is actually very smart and gentle with everyone.

Thanks if you'll do it 🥲💕 you already do sm work and I appreciate it!

!! : reader in this is a girl , but please see it as a boy or non binary person too if you'd like !! This turned out different from what i expected tbh , maybe i made Teru a little bit ooc -

" you aren't as bad as i thought ... "

You were originally one of the fishes that served the Mermaid , when she gave you the task to wander around as a human to look for other students to turn into other fishes , that's when you met Teru Minamoto ; he wasn't really known where you lived but still , everyone knew he was an exorcist you needed to avoid if you wanted to survive. You still weren't accustomed to the daily life of humans , so it was a matter of time before the exorcist noticed you. You tried everything to get as many people as possible so that you could bring them to the Mermaid , but as days , weeks passed , you came to the conclusion that human life isn't all that bad.

Classes were over and your last friend left you to head back home , it was your turn today to clean the room ; you've always been a curious fish - or human , so experimenting new things has never been tiring for you , though its been long since you've last been a fish , and to tell the truth , the marine world was a bit missing. As you were cleaning the black board you hear some voices coming from the back of the class , you laid down the cloth and went to check , and to your surprise , a few fishes that served the Mermaid with you had come to visit you

"you guys ! What are you doing here ? " you said while crouching down " we could ask you the same thing [ name ] !! Its been weeks since our adored Mermaid sent you to bring some humans down with us and i see you cleaning a classroom !? " your smile dropped as your companion continued to scold you , when suddendly a strong light came towards you , barely giving you time to dodge it. Your eyes opened wide as you saw the exorcist Teru Minamoto to the other side of the class

" i knew there was something off about you , you follow the Mermaid so i don't think you'll last long against me , just surrender already please " his expression was terrifying , it seemed like he wanted to get rid of you without even listening to what you had to say " w- wait ! Please listen to me before exorcise me , im not a bad supernatural !! " as you said those words Teru had a flashback of his little brother saying the same thing , maybe it was that the motive he stopped to hear your complaints " well then speak now , before i regret my decision " you mentally cheared " as you said im not a dangerous supernatural , i don't have a weapon with me and i never hurted everybody , i just follow instructions that other people give me ! When days passed by and i got to know more of the human life i was enchanted by it ; i just wanna live a normal life !! " he started laughing while looking down " supernaturals ... living a normal life ? That's kind of funny if you think about it , delusional even ... you should know better than everyone that ghosts , sovrannatural creatures can't have a normal life " you looked down , trying not to despair yourself in front of the exorcist " though " he continued while putting his weapon down " i will give you a second chance " your eyes wandered to his own , looking at him in surprise " but remember , s misstep and i'll exorcise you instantly " and with that , he got out of the class..

the next weeks you always felt his eyes on you , everywhere you went he always followed you in some ways , it was scary and irritating ; everytime you tried to talk with a friend of yours he always had to take you away

" [ name ] .. are you and Minamoto senpai .... a couple ? " a friend asked you " WHAT !? No we aren't , why would you think that !? " " well you guys are always seen together and when someone tries to talk to you he always takes you away … is he maybe jealous ~ ? " your cheeks were on fire , you knew Teru was good looking and being around him was something special for everyone in the school , but it wasn’t like that between you two … " i swear we aren’t together , im just … helping him with something , yeah ! " you of course lied " if you say so … "

you and Teru were walking in the halls together " why are you still with me , classes are over and there’s no one now , im not gonna do anything " you said still thinking about what your friend last said to you " you mind that much ? Do you hate me that much [ name ] ? " you looked at him dumb folded ' you were the one trying to exocise me … ' you thought for yourself " about me following you .. i came to the conclusion that you don’t seem a bad supernatural , so im not going to exorcise you .. for now " " I HEARD THAT " ; so from that day on Teru stopped following you everywhere and left you alone for some time , though you had to admit you were feeling kinda lonely without him watching over you , you ' missed ' him , maybe you did have some feelings for him , an exorcist and a supernatural .. how ironic. " If you really miss him go and tell him ! " you confessed your emotions to your friend , and now she / he was giving you every advice they had in mind " if you wait too long for him to come back to you someone might beat you and be with him before you do and you ain’t risking that are you ? "

So here you are now , in front of the door of the students council room , re - thinking about your life decisions , what if he would just laugh at you or telling you to leave him alone before he would exorcise you ..? Before you could turn your back and leaving the door opened revealing the blonde exorcist " oh [ name ] what are you doing here ? " your hands started to sweat and you couldn’t look at him in the eyes " o- oh i uhm .. uhm i just wanted to say i - … " " wait , before you speak i have something to say .. " he let you in the room with him and closed the door ' thank god ' you felt more relieved letting him speak first " i guess you probably still see me as dangerous overall everything that happened , but i do really mean it when i say that i don’t see you as a danger to the students anymore , if you’re willing to be next to me , not as a treat but as a partner , i would be the happiest guy in the school " he admitted looking at you with eyes filled with .. adoration.

You don’t remember what exactly happened after that , maybe because you felt too overwhelmed by the new emotions you felt , what you do know is that now you and Teru still pass the time together , but not as an exorcist and a supernatural , but as a couple , and you feel like you wouldn’t trade this with anything in the world

The end is kinda lame but i feel so tired so that’s all , hope you liked it !!

[fkinavocado]

In which you’ve got textbook daddy issues and when your tool of a younger brother brings a sweet doe eyed girlfriend home for Thanksgiving and you end up offering her a ride home, you meet just the man to fix them.

Daddy issues- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings

Chapter 20 / alternatively, read on wattpad

Chapter 21 (Word count: 5.7k)

The ambulance’s siren seemed to effectively snap everyone out of it. Your mother must’ve called one from the car when your father took the fall and never got back up again. Nobody even checked his vitals, for all you knew he could’ve hit his head that hard against the pavement that he would never be getting back up again, but you didn’t even think to check, and surprisingly neither did Derek. He was just as frozen in shock as you all were.

The only one who dared utter a word was Emily, calling out to her dad, but Harry just sat there, staring at your father on the ground, clenching and unclenching his fist. You could tell he’d definitely heard her, but he didn’t dare turn back and face her. 

How long had she been standing there? And what’s worse, her mother, Harry’s ex, was with her- although he didn’t know it yet. 

You didn’t know how much time passed between Emily calling out for him and the ambulance arriving. Could’ve been seconds, minutes. You couldn’t be sure. Everything was hazy, as if you were witnessing it all unfold in a dream. 

But when the sirens pierced the silence and its lights danced upon Harry’s face as it approached- you hadn’t unglued your eyes off him for a second- everybody flinched as if an hypnotist had snapped his fingers and you were all back to reality. The paramedics made their way in between you and Harry, crouching to aid your father, but you still couldn’t look away from him. 

Finally, his eyes zeroed in on you and you just stared at each other. So much was being said between the two of you just then. More than you’d probably told each other the whole time you’d been together

You opened your mouth to say something but a different kind of siren interrupted you, and all too soon you could hear your mother as she was talking to the police, informing them of what had happened. 

You still couldn’t get the words out of your mouth, and all was happening so fast. The paramedics were taking your father away on a stretcher, and officers were asking Harry to come down to the station, all atop your hysterical mother who all of a sudden had found her voice seemingly and was shouting at the police to “Arrest this man! He’s a danger to society! He knocked out my husband out of the blue, unprovoked, he seduced my daughter, she’s old enough to be his own child, my husband was merely defending her honour--”

“Ma’am, let’s take this to the station, you can file a report if you wish to press charges” one of the officers was escorting Harry to their car while the other tried to reason with your mother

“I can’t go right this minute, I need to go to the hospital with my husband!”

“Ma’am,--”

“It’s ok mom, Y/N and I will go with dad”

“No I’m not! I’m going with Harry!”

“Stop it, Y/N” Derek gritted his teeth “You’re making a scene!”

“Let go of me!” you shouted, extricating yourself from his vice grip on your elbow and you could see Harry turn around immediately but could not actually head back, the officer stopping him “Harry!” you shouted after him desperately “Stop! Why are you taking him away like some sort of criminal!?”

Just then, you watched as Harry’s ex was signalling driving off and you realised that she’d be heading in the wrong direction-the police station wasn’t that way, and before you could even think it through you ran towards the car and hit the passenger’s window repeatedly with your palm “Wait! Stop! What are you doing! Emily!”

The window rolled down and although Emily averted her eyes, her mother spat “Step away from the car!”

“The police station is the other way around!” she tried closing the window but you pushed it down and she couldn’t very well drive off, else she'd run the tires over your feet, you were standing too close for her to make the left turn “Stop! Go to the station, go with him! Give a statement! You saw what happened, right!? Right?! He needs eye witnesses in his favour!”

“Trust me, last person he wants there is me giving a statement about his violent streak! Step away or so help me God--”

“You wouldn’t! You wouldnt’! This is different…!”

“Oh, spare me. I don’t know what he told you but trust me, it’s worse than you think”

“He told me the truth!”

“The truth about what?” Emily chimed in. Her mother looked at her as if just then realising she shouldn’t have mentioned it “Truth about what, mom?”

“Please don’t do this! He’s better! He really really struggled to hold back, he was provoked, trust me he wouldn’t have done anything, I don’t know how long you’d been standing there--”

“Shut up!” Emily shrieked “Shut up, shut up, shut up! Get away, and don’t ever come near us again! He’s my dad, this is none of your business, how dare you! Look what you got him mixed up in! Look what you did! Your family is nothing but trouble, you’re just like your brother! I see it now for what it is!” 

You looked at Emily dumbstruck, she was having a very violent reaction, tears were streaming down her face uncontrollably, she was shaking and gasping for air and it was clear to you that all her pent up anger towards your brother was finally surfacing, all the stuff she wouldn’t even admit to herself about him were now felt at high intensity. And you were the sole recipient right that very moment

You saw the police car finally drive off, the ambulance was long gone and Derek was tugging at your elbow yet again “No! Let go of me!”

The second he pulled you away, Harry’s ex drove off, in the opposite side of where she should’ve been going, of course, and you realised your mother had probably left with the ambulance and you were left alone with your brother 

“You’re going to the hospital. Go be with mom. I’ll go to the police station and file a report against that piece of shit. Drive to the hospital, Y/N. Do it. Now!”

“You can’t make me! Let go of me!”

“Don’t make me, Y/N!”

“Oww!!!” you yelped, clutching your right hand with your other

You didn’t wait for him to recover from his stupor, and ran to your car. The engine had been running all this time, the door open from when Harry had pulled you out of it and straight into his arms. You got in, closed the door and secured it watching your brother shake his head, trying to clear it. 

You’d hit him pretty hard. 

You’d hit him so hard, in fact, that you were sure you’d broken some bones in your hand, you’d probably clenched your fist wrong. You’d clocked him right in the side of his face, probably got his brow bone or cheekbone-whatever it was, it hurt like a bitch.

You could hear him shout profanities at you but you didn’t wait for him to reach your car or get in your way, driving right off. You screamed in pain when you had to put the car into drive, but otherwise nothing was going to get in your way as you sped towards the police station.

*

One of the officers nearly chuckled when he saw the frenzied state you were in telling you to relax, and reassuring you that your friend wasn’t under arrest “We’re just waiting on the medical report so that we know if we need to hold him in custody or not, but it looks like it’s gonna be a class C misdemeanour”

You furrowed your brows, realising you only cared about your dad being ok so that Harry wouldn’t get into trouble “What does that mean?”

“Means he’ll have to pay a fine if they decide to press charges and it’ll go on his record but otherwise he’s free to walk away”

You nodded nervously “And what if… the injury is more severe?”

“Then it gets complicated”

“Can I give a statement? I’m an eyewitness and directly involved in this”

“Of course. Follow me.”

“Excuse me” a man interrupted “Y/N L/N, right?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m Harry’s lawyer. Gonna go in with you, if that’s alright with you? He just finished back there. Told me I might bump into you” a smile crept on his face and you didn’t know why he felt like smiling at a time like that but still, you accepted his offer

“It’s Niall by the way. Niall Horan”

You tried your best to smile back at his introduction but probably failed miserably. He was way too chirpy for your linking considering the circumstances.

“Gonna need a word with my client first before she gives her statement” Niall announced and the officer nodded and let you use the room privately

“Your client?”

“Harry’s orders” Niall smiled raising his hands in mock self defence “Just trying to make sure your statement coincides with his. So that it doesn’t do more harm than good”

“What?” you grimaced “How would I be doing more harm, I’d just tell the truth”

“Look sweetheart, I know you mean well, alright? I know. Harry told me, you’re his girlfriend, right? Relax. I’m not saying you’d deliberately get him into trouble, I’m just saying sometimes, in the heat of the moment, you might say something that doesn’t align with what he’s stated, and that could prove hindersome”

“Don’t sweetheart me! And stop patronising me! The truth is the truth there’s no way around it, what could I possibly say that would be different to what he’s said”

“Ok, then, let’s run over his statement. I have it here, my own copy of it” he opened his briefcase and took it out, and read off it “Says here, you’d driven to his house and soon after, while you were both still in the driveway, your parents and your brother pulled up, and the latter stepped out and approached you. Correct so far?”

“Yes--”

“Then he began trying to antagonise Harry. He insulted you upon finding out that the two of you formed a couple, something that your family was unaware of from what I gathered, and then he also made some crude remarks about Emily, Harry’s daughter, who is also in a bit of a pickle with your family. I’m handling that case as well. To be more precise, your brother, the same Derek L/N planted marijuana on Emily when he got pulled over for speeding and let her take the fall for it” he looked up from the piece of paper “Now I must stress that this is important. We had not mentioned this to the police thus far, hoping to reach an amicable agreement with your brother in which he would give a statement taking the blame upon himself, as we have evidence that he has been dealing drugs. But this is all now in Harry’s current statement. So there’s no turning back”

You just stared into space and Harry’s lawyer waited for you to say something until he cleared his throat “See, this is the kind of stuff that could’ve proved hindersome. Do you have any issues with his statement, Y/N? Are you of a different opinion? Do you think your brother is innocent of those accusations?”

After a beat you lowered your eyes to your lap “No. I don’t. I know it’s true. And Harry told me he’d hired a PI and that he’s got evidence to prove he’d been dealing”

Niall’s eyebrows raised “Ohhhkay. He did not tell me about that little detail. Was supposed to be classified information, that. Guess it’s a good thing you agree, then. Did you by chance happen to share this information with your family?”

You looked at him then, taking in his ridiculously relaxed attitude towards all this “No, I did not. Of course not!”

“I’m just checking, darling, can never be too sure--”

“Would you stop with the pet names! I thought I was supposed to be your client!”

“Aye, you sure are a feisty one aren’t ya? This is how I talk to all my clients Y/N, I’m Irish, it’s the same way brits call everyone “love”. But if it offends you, I’ll refer to you as Miss L/N going forward”

You sat back in your chair, crossing your arms against your chest “Please do, Mr. Horan”

He grinned at you even brighter then, shaking his head amusedly which only infuriated you more “Alright. So. Going back to Harry’s statement. Your father then intervened, and began manhandling you. Harry says you’d confided in him prior to this and told him that he’d been abusing you growing up, that he’d been violent. This is another thing you might feel differently about… Do you?”

Your eyes began to water. It was all coming out in the clear and it felt monumental. It wasn’t all just in your head anymore, wasn’t all just a memory of all you’ve suffered for all those years. It was something people were now getting to know about, something the police got to hear about. “No. It’s all true” your voice was strangled and small, but you mustered through

Niall seemed to sober up a bit too after this, his voice more soothing “Harry intervened then, confronting your father verbally, not even insulting or threatening, just stating facts he knew from you. Then, your father insulted you and that’s when Harry delivered an uppercut to your father’s jaw and essentially knocked him out”

You nodded in agreement. 

“Ok. Gonna need you to write it down exactly like that when the officer comes back in, I’ll read over it to double check and then you can sign it and we’re outta here. I’ll go get him, and find out what’s the status on that medical report”

You nodded again and waited not so patiently. You were a jittery mess, realising the implications of your statement. You were helping Harry and essentially digging your brother’s grave even deeper. 

And it wasn’t that you thought he didn’t deserve it, he most certainly did, especially after what had just happened, but the gravity of it all was affecting you, how could it not? 

The lawyer came back with the officer “It’s alright, miss L/N. Your dad suffered a concussion but he’s in no danger. He’s going to be released tonight, doesn’t even need to stay under observation. They did a PET scan and everything, he’s fine”

You felt relieved. For Harry’s sake. And then you gave your statement just the way Harry had recounted it “Oh! I forgot to mention something!”

Niall furrowed his brows, looking at the officer “A minute?”

“No, it’s fine” you didn’t wait for him to reply “I punched my brother. It’s why I can barely hold  a pen and write. Just in case he tries to pin that on Harry, I want it written down”

Harry’s lawyer laughed. Laughed. A very colourful laughter, too “Ohkay, miss Y/N. Pen that down as well. What’s another fine at the end of the day, just put that on Harry’s tab” he winked towards the officer who also chuckled and you couldn’t believe how casual everyone seemed to be about this

Guess it was all just in a day’s work and actually the preferred outcome to other possible things these guys were handling on the daily.

“Ok, you’re done here, let’s go” Niall nudged you while you passed by him “Well done. Nice finishing touch, if I do say so myself”

You were beyond trying to gauge how appropriate what he was saying was, and you didn’t care right that minute either, ‘cause walking down the hallway you spotted Harry sitting there, waiting.

He stood up when he heard footsteps approaching and saw that it was you and without hesitation, you threw yourself into his arms which he immediately opened up for you

“C’mon, I’ll drive you guys”

“No, it’s fine, I drove here. We’ll take my car”

Harry picked up on your dismissive tone and glanced at Niall “Is everything alright?”

“Let’s just go” you half whispered

He shook Niall’s hand, and holding you under his arm, walked you out of the police station. You didn’t know whether he’d paid his fine, or how any of that even worked, but he was apparently free to go. Heading towards the parking lot, you eyed your father’s car that Derek had driven there, so you knew he’d made it to the station and was probably giving his own phoney statement. You handed Harry your car keys “Here, you drive”

“Of course” he walked you to your side and opened the door for you. He was being especially gentle with you and extremely quiet, and you were thankful for it. You didn’t feel like talking either.

What was there to say? You’d both been there. You’d both had to recount it all to the police already. You’d run out of words.

All you could do was feel. 

After a short drive to Harry’s home, he parked your car and then unlocked the front door and opened it up for you “Go grab a shower if you want, or just go to bed. I’ll…” he gestured, holding his phone and you realized he wanted to see what Emily was doing

“Sure. Take your time”

You turned to go inside but he caught your hand gently, and you winced, his eyes widening in worry “I… I punched Derek. Thought I’d fractured something but it’s not as bad anymore”

“Are you sure? Let’s have it looked at--”

“No, Harry. It’s fine… I just need to sleep it off”

“Look for some ibuprofen in my nightstand, ok?”

You nodded then made your way to the bedroom. You really didn’t feel like it but you knew a shower was in order. You could barely believe you’d flown there and went through all that in the span of one day. You were both physically and emotionally drained. 

After you got out, you fished one of Harry’s t-shirts from the drawer you knew he kept the ones he slept in, looked for that ibuprofen, popped it in your mouth and swallowed it without water because you really couldn’t muster the energy to go get a glass of water, and  finally crawled into bed.

The comforting smell of him was more than enough to put you right to sleep but you desperately wanted to wait up. You were nervous of how his phone call with his daughter was going.

Judging by how she’d lashed out at you, it probably wasn’t pretty.

You waited a long while. You didn’t check your phone to see what time it was, it was probably extremely late into the night, but you were growing more and more worried and was contemplating going to look for him. You knew he needed his space to handle family matters, and that their relationship was their own and you’d probably already overstepped when you ran to beg both Emily and her mother to go give a statement as eyewitnesses in Harry’s favour, but you’d done it from a place of despair. 

Also, you’d unwillingly opened up pandora’s box in front of Emily, who had no clue about her father’s violent streak and the entirety of what had happened in the past when her parents got divorced. What if her mother had told her the whole truth of it and now it was all your fault for ruining his relationship with his daughter for good? She’d already found out that her dad was dating someone close to her own age (admittedly, with the 8 year age gap between yourself and her, it didn’t seem that close to you, but you could see why she would think so), she’d probably- most certainly witnessed him knock someone out. And then to find out Harry had almost killed her step father when he’d found out her mother had been cheating with him? You really hoped she wasn’t so cruel as to tell Emily about it just then. This was definitely something they needed to discuss as a family.

And you weren't part of that equation. And you understood that.

But the more you thought about it, the more you panicked. You hadn’t really allowed yourself to process all of it, but now that you were really thinking about it, the reality of the two of you being a couple had really messed with a lot of things that day. A lot of important things. 

You heard Harry open the door to the bedroom slowly and you realised that he thought you were asleep, and for some reason, you didn’t make any move to let him know you weren’t. You just stood there, tucked under the blanket, turned away and waiting to gauge his mood.

Had it been bad? Had he managed to reason with Emily? What was going on in his mind, in his heart?

He went through his drawer very carefully not to disturb your sleep and changed into one of those t-shirts he wore to bed himself, discarding his clothes quietly. 

He got into bed just as carefully, and you could tell he was laying on his back. You tried listening very carefully, see if you could tell by his breathing, but all he did was sigh deeply at one point. And you just couldn’t hold back anymore “I’m so sorry, Harry” you whispered, without turning around

He flinched a bit, seemingly genuinely surprised you were awake. He must’ve been deep in thought- he wasn’t close to falling asleep since he was not a back sleeper by any means “What, sweetheart?” he whispered back, turning towards you and scooting closer, hovering a bit over you

“I’m… I’m so sorry”

He placed his palm on your shoulder and gently nudged you to turn and lay on your back so that he could look at you. He brought a hand to your cheek and caressed it with his thumb “None of this is your fault, sweet girl. What are you sorry for? I was so worried you were mad at me. All that time at the police station until you walked straight into my arms I don’t think I relaxed a muscle”

You brought your own slightly swollen hand to his face then, mimicking him “What are you talking about? Why would I be mad?”

He furrowed his brows and hung his head, a loose curl falling into your face and tickling your nose enough for you to push it back and run your hand through his hair “Harry… please talk to me? I’m so scared about what all this means for us. I’m so scared… I don’t want to lose you” your breathing hitched and you could feel your eyes beginning to water, and you really really didn’t want to cry in front of him again. That was seemingly all you were ever doing lately and you were sick of it. This was about both of you, not just you and your own feelings

“Lose me?” he looked into your eyes then and you could see his were glazed over as well “It’s not about losing me, it’s about wanting to keep me. The monster that I am, everything you ever despised in a man… I tried so hard, Y/N. I really tried to keep my temper in check. And I managed with Derek, ‘cause he’s a kid and he probably doesn’t know any better. Even though I should’ve wrung his neck for doing what he did to Emily… any father would… but he’s young. Young people make mistakes… God knows I’ve made mine… and I’m still paying for them. Because apparently I’m not really any better than I was when I was young and foolish and let my temper get the best of me… but when your father just grabbed you like that, when he spoke to you like that, especially knowing what I know about him, something in me just snapped. I tried talking to him, you saw that I did… right?!”

“Harry… oh my God, Harry, slow down” you grabbed his face between your palms and held him steadily “What monster, what are you talking about?! Harry, listen to me. You’re nothing like him. You’re words apart. I would never, ever compare you to my father. Even for what you did to that guy, that’s entirely different… I’m not saying it’s justifiable considering you put the man in a coma, but I mean… it was totally different. What my dad did to me is inexcusable. I was just a kid… What wrong could I have possibly done to him to earn all those beatings? I couldn’t defend myself, he was the one that was supposed to shelter me and…” you shook your head “I don’t even wanna get into all that, that’s not the point here. The point is, you, Harry, you stood up for me. I know why you did it. I know you did it because you hate what he did to me. I know it came from a place of love. I know. Yes, it was you being violent but I feel like even with what happened all those years back… you loved your wife, your family. He threatened what was yours and that’s how you reacted. And I think that’s maybe how you felt this time around as well”

“It is. It is” he let his body rest atop of yours and buried his head in your neck “Please. Please say you believe it, Y/N. I couldn’t stand it. Couldn’t stand him touching you like that, not even once more. And once I knocked him out it took everything within me not to pounce on him. I wanted to. God knows I wanted to. I never felt this kind of rage before. I wanted to make him endure everything he’s put you through and then some. But I know it’s wrong, I know, logically, morally, but within my bones… it felt so right. I could feel it, I still can. But I didn’t. Because I couldn’t risk losing you, couldn’t risk have you see my like that. One punch was bad enough, I was terrified you’d never forgive me”

His voice was muffled and so urgent against your skin and you could feel his warm tears rolling down your neck as you held him close, closer, as close as you could get him against you. 

“I was terrified you wouldn’t forgive me, too”

“There’s nothing--”

“What about Emily? Had it not been for me, she never would’ve seen you do that. And her finding out about us that way… and… oh, Harry. I think I might’ve done something terrible…” he wanted to pull away but you held him in place, you couldn’t face him “I… your ex was driving off and she was taking a left turn, and I stopped the car and urged her to go to the police station… and give a statement as an eyewitness in your favour… and she said something about her being the last person that should be giving statements about your violent streak, and Emily was right there of course… and she was so confused… and asked her mom what that meant, and then she just… she lashed out at me but that’s totally fine because I understand why I’m the bad guy in this whole mess… I just… Gosh, Harry. I really hope she didn’t tell her. Not like this. Not now. I’m sorry Emily had to see that because of me… I’m sorry for everything… Please…” 

You were sobbing, shaking by then and Harry had to forcefully pull himself out of your arms and make you look at him, wiping your tears away, but it was futile, there seemed to be a steady stream and you were hysterical “I can’t bear the thought of ruining your relationship with your daughter… ‘Cause I know how precious that is. And how rare. And I just couldn’t, I couldn’t bear it, Harry!”

Harry shushed you, petting your hair, your cheeks, trying his best to console you and bring you down. You were shaking, gasping for air “Y/N, please, listen to me. Calm down, baby. Please calm down, you’re worrying me. You’re going to have a panic attack. Or worse. Please. Listen to me, alright? Nothing, none of this is your fault. Nothing. Emily is a big girl, she might not understand it now, but she will, she’ll come to terms with it. I love her to the moon and back but just like she went behind my back, when she promised me she wouldn’t be seeing your brother anymore, and even slept with him… if I can get over that, she’ll get over this. We’re doing nothing wrong, Y/N. We’re adults. We went into this consensually, and I know we both thought about having to face our families one day sooner or later. It may not be conventional, but damn if I care. Emily will get over it. As for seeing me beat someone up… I’ve made my bed and now I have to lay in it. If my ex told her about what happened, she didn’t let it on over the phone… I don’t think she knows. But she’s very upset with me. I’ll deal with it. She’s my daughter. I’ll fix it. I know it’ll be alright eventually… please don’t beat yourself up about it, sweetheart. It’s not your fault Please get that into that brain of yours. C’mon baby… no more tears, hm?”

You’d calmed down bit by bit while he talked to you soothingly and eventually after nodding in agreement you pulled him back atop of you and held him tight “There’s one more thing. And I’m really sorry. I tried so hard not to tell you like this, not today, but I can’t hold it back anymore”

“What is it, baby? Stop saying that, please… you can tell me anything. I want you to tell me everything. I promise I’ll always hear you out, and we’ll try and solve it, whatever it is. I want us to communicate” he tried to pull away again to face you but you once again held him tightly “...Y/N?”

“I’m sorry. I wish I could hold out and not have the memory of telling you this on this horrible day. But I love you so much, Harry. I love you so much, it physically hurts to keep it from you a second longer. You don’t have to say anything back. It’s been a rollercoaster of emotions, and you need to process everything, I know, I just really can’t go on another day without telling you how much you mean to me. I’d be so lost without you. I can’t imagine my life without you, don’t know how I’ve made it this far without you in it”

He pulled away finally, you let him look at you and you searched his eyes trying to read his reaction but all he said was “You’re damn right I’m upset” your heart fell so hard and so fast you could physically feel yourself getting nauseous when he startled you with a kiss. He pressed his lips to yours so hard that you could feel his teeth against yours, crushing your lips in between almost painfully so “I’ve been postponing telling you for ages for that exact same reason, every time I wanted to tell you, something or the other came up, and I held off, like an idiot!” he grinned and you blinked at him confusedly at the way he was scolding you and smiling the brightest smile he’s ever given you “Don’t look at me like that! You’re a cheater! You stole the show! I had it all planned out… held off so many times, so many times… fuck, I’m so pissed. And so incredibly happy. I’ve never been this happy. You make me feel like nothing could ever make its way inside my heart and make me sad, ever again. ‘Cause it’s just that full of love for you. There’s simply no room left. It’s just you… My little love. I love you so much it almost freakin’ made me develop a heart condition for keeping it a secret like that and there you go, just blurting it out, first chance you get!”

You kept blinking at him in disbelief and he just stared at you with that huge smile on his face and bent to kiss you over and over again repeating “I love you, God I love you” in between each of them “Nothing could ever take away from the happiness I felt hearing those words out of your mouth, Y/N. Nothing could ruin it. You’re so silly. And I was too, should’ve said it long ago, but held off like an idiot. Cause now I know nothing could’ve ever ruined the moment. Say it again?”

“... You’re… I…?”

“Please, baby” he whined “Please tell me, I swear I’ll never tire of it. Need to hear it, please let this be real”

“It’s real. It’s so real, Harry. I love you so much. I just can’t believe…” your throat was closing in again

“Shhh, no more tears, remember?”

“Oh, fuck off! I’m allowed to cry, this is monumental!” you both laughed, resting your foreheads against the other’s. You sighed, looking deep into his eyes “I can’t believe you wanted to tell me sooner. I wanted to tell you way sooner, too. It’s not the first chance I got. I just worried it was too soon, it scared me how much and how strongly I felt for you”

He kissed you then, slow and gently this time, taking his time to savour you properly in what felt like ages  “It scares me too. Terrifies me. But I don’t care. I love you. Have me, have all of me. Chew me up and spit me out, I don’t care. It’s worth it. No matter what happens going forward.”

Chapter 22

A/N: TOOK THEM FREAKING FOREVER BUT OK GRHGHLRDGRD ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh so excited to finally reach this part 🥺💓💓

💕 like & reblog if you enjoyed this, lovelies, and most importantly, please come share your thoughts on it here 💌

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[niemernuet]

i am in so much need of new ginodi content that i won't even request a number from the mini-fic prompts, i'll happily let you chose something yourself, just give me the ginodi please😫❤

that's all thenkyew love💖💕

Hello and sorry sorry sorry for the late answer. It was kind of a busy weekend (flailing about the ski guys) as you know. I started the first on Friday but after last night it's way too angsty, so I made a second one. Hope you like them and love you. 💝

First mini-fic: nr. 20: things you said that i wasn't meant to hear

Separation

rating: T pairing: Gino Caviezel/Marco Odermatt characters: Gino Caviezel, Marco Odermatt, Semyel Bissig, Livio Simonett length: 1'000 words

Skiing was an individual sport. Everybody was only fighting for themselves. The lack of popularity among the athletes for the team events at the big competitions proved this point year after year. It was rare that a group worked together as well as theirs; the in-fights between the guys in the old days were the stuff of legends. It was even rarer that two competitors could be together like Gino and Marco. Gino assumed it made things easier that Marco was so ridiculously, incredibly, breathtakingly better than the rest of the world at the moment. There was no need to work himself up over the fact that, no matter how hard he tried, he was just not as good as his boyfriend; nobody was after all. It also made things more difficult though, just because Marco was light-years ahead of everyone else. Between the constant training, the preparations and the races there was little time just for themselves during the season, and with Marco’s popularity everyone and their grandmother wanted a piece of him, his attention, his opinion, his smile.

Gino let go of the drapes, and they floated across the window, covering the view outside again. He stayed glued to the spot, staring ahead at the grey fabric without really seeing it.

He had been struggling to find footing these past few weeks. Since the 27th of November, to be exact. Mauro’s second accident, and the uncertainty about his future hung like a figurative shroud around Gino, separating him from the rest of the world, and the events he had just observed had pushed him even further into this terrifying nothingness. Slowly, as if in a trance, he turned around. He picked his wallet and phone out of reflex on his way to the door, and pushed them in his pockets.

They had not had much time together since the accident, barely more than the nightmarish hours spent waiting in the emergency room for news of Mauro before they had hurried to Beaver Creek and further. The flu Gino had picked up just before Marco had left for the monstrous tour through Italy with five race in just as many days had separated them even more.

Though, Gino realised it now, maybe Marco had separated himself long before that.

The film of Marco jumping out of the car, and racing into Semyel’s arm with a joyous laugh was etched into his brain, playing over and over again. He could not remember the last time that bright smile, the one that seemed to wrap halfway around his head, and every person in its vicinity around his finger, had been turned on him. He saw the two of them put their heads together as he stepped outside, and Marco’s arm around the shoulders of the smaller man as they walked into the hotel in an embrace followed him on the way to the basement floor where they stored their skis and equipment. Gino did not know where he would go but Alta Badia was at a mountain pass anyway. He only needed to get the keys to the van from his service man, the rest would come on its own. He ignored the cracked door to Semyel’s and Livio’s room. The thick carpet silenced his steps, and there was no way they could see him. He only stopped when he heard the irritation in Semyel’s voice.

“It was so fucking expensive! I had to take it on my credit card because neither Gabriel nor I had enough cash.”

“I know,” Marco’s voice answered. “But I’ve been away so much and couldn’t be here for him, and I just want a perfect Christmas, so…”

“That’s not what I’m talking about!” Semyel shrieked. “You can give him a Porsche for all I care. I mean that I’m just a poor sod who never gets any prize money while you roll in the dough. Also, by the way, it’s fucking heavy too. We almost blew our backs out carrying that thing around. You know I’m not supposed to lift heavy stuff!”

Gino could hear the contrite tone of Marco’s voice. “I’m sorry. I’ll send you the money tonight via twint. You’re the best friend, and I’m really grateful you could do this for me.”

Semyel snorted. “Don’t forget the fifteen euro for that Cappuccino in Val d’Isère. You never paid that back too.”

“Why did it have to be that armchair anyway?” Livio suddenly butted in before Marco could answer. “Couldn’t you have ordered one right into your home?”

“We laid in it on our holidays last summer,” Marco snapped. “And Gino said it’d fit right into his living room, and now I’ll put it there because it’ll remind him of summer and better times. But it’s just in that one boutique in Zurich, and they don’t do deliveries, and I didn’t have time…”

“And that beer at the hotel bar in Lake Louise when the bartender refused your hundred-dollar-bill,” Semyel added to the list.

“Can you twint me some cash too?” Livio asked. “I also haven’t won anything yet this season.”

Marco snorted. “I’ll see you at dinner but now…” He broke off when he almost stumbled into Gino, and dropped the suitcase in his hand.

Gino took a few steps back until he bumped against the wall of the hallway. He blinked.

“Hey!” Marco smiled, and nervously looked over his shoulder. “I was just saying hello to…did you wait here long?”

Gino blinked again. Then, he shook his head. The air felt lighter all of a sudden, as if he had emerged from a deep pool. “No, I was just passing because…Daniele has my charger…and my phone’s dying.” He smiled at Marco’s lousy attempt to hide his relief, and opened his arms as he closed the gap between them.

“You were so good over there,” Gino whispered. “Not long and you’ll have that downhill-victory.”

“I missed you,” Marco mumbled in Gino’s collar. Gino swallowed, and moved his head until his nose was buried in Marco’s jacket.

“How do you feel?”

Gino laughed softly. “Much better,” he answered.

Second mini-fic: nr. 22: things you said after it was over

Going Home

rating: T pairing: Gino Caviezel/Marco Odermatt characters: Gino Caviezel, Marco Odermatt length: 550 words

The bib-draw for tomorrow’s slalom had ended quite some time ago, and a DJ had taken over the stage. The party on the town square was in full-swing and would not end until the early hours of the morning. The thumping bass and the cheers of the people even reached through the concrete walls of the underground parking lot, a deep murmur that filled the otherwise eerie silence. Gino stood in front of the open boot of the car, rifling through the pockets of his backpack. He had pushed his phone somewhere on his way out of the hotel room but after the last, tedious hurdles race through the hotel, passing hundreds of people who all had wanted them to stay, he could not find it anymore. He cursed under his breath as he began to pull out things, stacking them on the suitcases, when suddenly a pair of arms wrapped around his middle, and a heavy, warm weight leant against him.

“You’re pretty,” Marco mumbled, and nuzzled around Gino’s collar until he found his skin.

Gino laughed while he groped through the inner pockets of his backpack and Marco planted one wet kiss after the other on his neck. “And you’re tipsy.”

“M-hm.”

He had joined a few of the countless invitations for a beer on the way from the hotel to the podium ceremony and back again, as was his right. Gino did not mind to be the designated driver for Marco, not on a day like this, and not when the alcohol, coupled with the exhaustion after the long day, turned him into a clingy cuddle-monster.

“I know but tomorrow I’ll be sober again, and you’ll still be pretty.”

“Yes, I…ha!” Triumphantly, Gino pulled his phone out from the depth of his backpack. Satisfied, he threw the rest of his stuff inside again, and roughly pulled at the zipper. He turned around and tried to step away to close the hatch but Marco pinned him against the car, and kissed him until they were both gasping for air.

“You have to let go of me or we’ll never get home,” Gino whispered.

Marco mewled, and held him so tightly Gino could barely breathe anymore. “But I don’t want to. It’ll take so long!”

“I’ll be right next to you the whole way.”

“But I can’t touch you for hours, and that’s not good.”

Gino laughed, and softly pushed Marco away. “You’ll be asleep before we reach the highway.” He closed the hatch, pulled Marco to the front of the car, and helped him in the passenger seat.

“No, I won’t,” Marco protested while Gino lay over his lap trying to find the buckle for the seat belt. “I will stay awake until we’re home, and I will suffer nonstop.”

With a soft groan, Gino climbed out of the car again. Marco smiled up at him, his eyes half-closed. Tenderly, Gino caressed his cheek, and gave him a kiss.

“We’ll see,” he smiled, and closed the door. Carefully he manoeuvred the car out of the underground garage. There were no street lamps in the narrow alley, and he crawled forward at a snail’s pace. Two of the receptionists from the hotel were smoking near a back door, other than them nobody saw them leave. When Gino turned left onto the main street, Marco’s head flopped against the window, and stayed like that the entire journey home.

[ears-awake-eyes-opened]

Coffee and secrets

(This prompt brought a couple of stories to mind, so I combined them. This fic feels precious, probably too fluffy for Hayffie, even in the idealization phase of their relationship. But I adore them, and they deserve some fluff. 💕)

***

***

🎶”She's like cold coffee in the morning

I'm drunk off last nights whisky and coke

She'll make me shiver without warning

And make me laugh as if I'm in on the joke

And you can stay with me forever

Or you could stay with me for now...”🎶

***

A game within a game... In the Capitol betting lounge, Haymitch slid onto a chair facing away from the odds board. Everybody here is being played by a tyrant; only they’re as blind to it as if somebody sliced out their eyes.

He flashed back to piercing blue. The girl from 1 had stared him down with pupils dilated as he cut her. She’d sacrificed her *queen* in order to get close enough to eviscerate him with her axe. ‘Checkmate’ she may have thought in the moment before her skull was split in two. Or maybe in the pause she thought of home, the way he did as he passed out with blood spilling from his gut.

A “victor,” they called him then. What did any of them know about that word? By the time he eventually made it home, his loved ones were all dead, like the 47 tributes he’d outlived to be given that title. He may have survived, but he sure as hell hadn’t won.

A year later, these kids from 12, near last in the standings, weren’t going to win either. Haymitch didn’t expect to have to work at getting them sponsors because he doubted they’d survive the first ten minutes in the arena.

He’d known them from school. They were just a bit younger than he was. Miners’ kids, skin and bones. They ran slow and jumped at their own shadows. He didn’t know how to help them. “Mentor” was just another title without meaning.

So he sat in the lounge and drank a large cup of coffee as fools around him judged all those kids like goods at the Hob. What are they worth? A basket of eggs? A ball of twine? Since he’d fallen asleep drunk the night before, sipping coffee to wake up now was the most he could offer the two that he was supposed to be *mentoring*, for whatever that was worth....

Nothing. I’m worth nothing.

He slipped a flask from his coat pocket and splashed liquor into the coffee.

“Is that cream?” a young girl asked. He hadn’t noticed her sit down beside him. Hungover as he was, she might have been there all along.

“Cream?” Haymitch chuckled. It was good to feel for a minute something other than dread.

“Cream and sugar are ever so lovely, but Mother says they’ll make me fat,” she sighed, staring at Haymitch’s cup with longing. “So I always take my coffee black.”

He peered inside her cup. It held the dregs of black coffee. She drank the last sip with her pinky curled.

She was a posh little thing with pink ribbons woven in a mass of blonde hair. The color of her dress matched the ribbons. She reminded him of a wisp of clouds at the beginning of a summer sunset, caught in that fleeting moment of pink in between white and orange.

“It ain’t cream, sweetheart.”

She looked pleased regardless, straightening as tall as possible in her chair. Her cheeks were blushing as pink as her getup.

“‘Ain’t’ is slang, you know. The boys at school sing, ‘Ain’t ain’t a word, and I ain’t gonna say it, ‘cause it ain’t in the dictionary.’” She leaned toward Haymitch. “Can I tell you a secret?”

He glanced around for her parents, but saw no one paying attention. “Sure, kid.”

She dropped her voice to almost a whisper. “I looked it up in the dictionary, and it’s there as a contraction of ‘am not.’ The dictionary says it’s a ‘vulgar’ contraction, so maybe that’s why Mother tells me that saying it is bad manners.”

Who the hell is this girl? She looked up at him with piercing blue eyes, like the one he cut out of the girl in the Games. He shivered in a moment of haunting.

“Can I tell you another secret?” She didn’t wait for him to answer. “I like the way you say it, and I won’t tell.”

“Won’t tell who?” Haymitch stifled a grin, intrigued by her boldness.

“I won’t tell anyone. It will just be my secret, drinking coffee with you and saying ‘ain’t’ with you. ...It can be OUR secret — if you promise.”

“Okay.” He smirked. “But I AIN’T good at promises.”

“I doubt that’s true. ...You’re good at everything.”

He was taken aback. This girl thought she knew who he was.

“Effie...” A man called from the doorway and pointed at his watch, “It’s time.”

“I need to go, so I must tell you quickly... I’m terribly sorry about what happened to your friend Maysilee — and to you. It’s quite a relief to watch you drinking coffee now without it pouring out your stomach.” She brushed the tips of her fingers against his wrist, “I’m so glad you’re alive.”

The girl DID know who he was. She couldn’t be older than 10, if that. What kind of parents here let their children watch this horror show? ...Or maybe they were forced to, like in the districts. He felt sorry for this kid, for all the kids.

Her touch lingered with mix of innocence, comfort, and curiosity. When she withdrew her hand, Haymitch was relieved and strangely sad.

“Effie!” Her father glared this time.

She hopped off the chair like the child she was, before remembering to adopt a prim posture. “I’m pleased to have made your acquaintance. ...I’ll see you again.” She spoke with assurance, rather than as a question.

“Me too, kid.” He had no idea if he’d see that girl again, but something inside him hoped he would.

***

27 years later...

🎶”...Tell me if I'm wrong

Tell me if I'm right

Tell me if you need a loving hand

To help you fall asleep tonight

Tell me if I know

Tell me if I do

Tell me how to fall in love the way you want me to...”🎶

***

“Life is too short for bad coffee!”

“Just because you don’t want to go to the Hob with me doesn’t make the coffee there bad.”

He was right about that. Coffee beans grown in greenhouses along the southern border of 12 might not be as tasty as those imported from the tropics, but they were decent enough for Effie to consider investing in the operation.

“So you expect me to waltz in there as if I wasn’t the one who reaped their children?”

“Walking in as yourself will be fine, sweetheart. No waltzing required.”

“I escorted those babies to their deaths, Haymitch!”

“Five, six years ago,” he quibbled.

“Nobody will ever forget that — and they shouldn’t! How could anyone here ever see me any other way?”

“Shit, I don’t know. I see you all kinds of ways.” He gazed from her face down her body.

“Ha! You’re the only one here fucking me.”

“We spent most of our lives not fucking each other. Do you see me differently now that we do?”

Sex had come into their connection during the revolution when the intensity between them became impossible to ignore. The feelings came long before sex, especially for her. He was right about that too.

“If this was about you, it would be simple. This is your town, and people here love you...”

The decades-old voice within him intruded... Nothing. I’m worth nothing. “People don’t *love* me.” His tone was full of annoyance.

She touched his forehead and tucked a few strands of hair behind his ear. She leaned in and whispered, “Can’t you feel how much they do?” It was the closest she’d come to saying what she never quite said.

He felt everything with her, yet he ignored her question. “Don’t make this about me. I’m not the one who’s afraid to go to the Hob.”

“But what will they THINK of me?” Her eyes pleaded for an answer.

People’s perceptions of him didn’t matter to Haymitch, but how others regarded Effie was critical to her. He caressed her arm to her fingertips, lingering so she could take his hand when she was ready. “There’s only one way to find out, honey.”

She was wearing a white blouse with elbow-length sleeves. It buttoned at the neck, then opened in a long teardrop before fastening again just above her breasts. Haymitch stroked her skin within the opening. “Today is almost as beautiful as you. Your train doesn’t leave for hours. Let’s go have coffee in the sun.”

“If only it were that simple.”

“It IS that simple.”

She slipped her fingers between his. “Just don’t let go, okay?”

It was an easy promise. As long as she wanted him, he had no intention of letting go.

Effie opted to forgo her usual curve-hugging fashion, and she walked through town in a “peasant skirt” riding low on her hips and flowing to mid-calf, near the top of her boots. These less ornate styles were becoming increasingly popular in the Capitol. Oh, the challenge of finding such a skirt resembling neither an ancient prairie dress nor her grandmother’s curtains! But she had done it. Hers was sewn from 3 bands of fabric, indigo sandwiched between turquoise. Each tier was embroidered with black and white birds.

She held Haymitch’s hand as a lifeline.

The reconstructed Hob was a barely recognizable form of its original self. The new brick and mortar building was vast and full of windows. The space was light and open for vendors to sell their goods, with room for businesses to move in and grow. Near the entrance, there were steel tables and chairs, which were moved indoors or out, depending on the weather.

Effie had never been in the preceding shack-like iteration, so she had no basis for comparison and no idea what went on inside a trading post. This was a new experience for her in more ways than one. Late on a Sunday morning, the Hob was bustling with people buying and selling a greater variety of items than she’d imagined could exist in one place.

“You didn’t tell me the entire district would be here!”

“You’re exaggerating.”

For several hundred people who survived the revolution, District 12 was home. They took up the work of rebuilding upon a foundation laid by the dead.

Actually, there were dozens of people at the Hob that day, not hundreds. Nonetheless, Effie felt the eyes of the world, including many familiar faces from the months in 13.

Today with her hair parted on the left, swooping across her forehead, and falling to her shoulders in soft curls, Effie resembled neither her wigged escort persona nor her turbaned refugee persona.

‘Walking in as yourself will be fine...” Haymitch had said. She’d spent the past two years trying to figure out that person. Herself. She still felt far from knowing.

They passed Greasy Sae with her pot of soup simmering over a fire and her trinkets on the table. Effie ran her fingers over a pendant carved from turquoise.

“It’s almost as pretty as you, girl,” the old woman told her.

“Sae, you’re a darling. It’s wonderful to see you again.” Her statement was genuine, rather than dramaticized as it might have been in the past.

“I’ve been waitin’ for that boy to bring you around. Sure took him long enough.”

“I admit I’ve been dragging my feet,” Effie acknowledged.

“She thought she’d have to WALTZ in here; she’s been practicing,” Haymitch teased, squeezing Effie’s hand. “Are you okay here while I go get us coffee?”

She nodded.

“Meet me at a table outside when you’re done looking.” He kissed her before letting go and moving further into the building.

“For a quarter century I never saw that boy happy. He’s been through too much. Such deep scars. It ain’t fair.”

“You speak tenderly about him.” Effie valued her for doing so.

“I’ve known that one since he was a wee thing. Used to bring me baskets of his ma’s goose eggs and plucked carcasses for my soup. Traded for household goods mostly. They were on their own a long time without his Pa. ...Then he was really on his own.”

Effie’s smile faded. Hearing about Haymitch’s past always hurt.

“Oh, honey, I didn’t mean to make you sad. You bring more life into that boy than I’ve seen since his name was pulled from that Reaping Ball all those years ago.”

Sae’s words stung. Accidentally, like when you lean against a tree onto a bumblebee. Tears filled Effie’s eyes, thinking not just of Haymitch, but of the years when it was her hand pulling those children’s names.

“I’m sorry,” Effie confessed to nothing in particular — to everything. Sae was a beautiful crone in a kerchief who resembled her great-grandmother in the way all women do who have truly lived.

“Ain’t nothin’ to apologize for, girl. You’re forgiven. The good you’re doin’ now, I hear about it. I see it on his face.”

Effie glanced around them. The crowd had thinned. She lowered her voice. “Can I tell you a secret?”

“My ears are still sharp as tacks, and I’ll keep your secret.”

“I love him.” Effie whispered without hesitation. The words lifted from her chest like a weight she hadn’t realized she’d been carrying.

“Of course you do.”

“28 years, and I’ve never told a soul.”

“That’s a long time to hold such a big thing inside. How much longer are you gonna keep that up?”

“I don’t know. I don’t think he’s ready to hear it. There are no promises between us.”

“Well, you know him best, but secrets take a toll. Take care not to sacrifice your own desires in uncertainty about somebody else’s.”

“I don’t know what I want.”

“Figure that out, girl, and the rest will fall into place. Now go find that boy of yours. And remember, I live just down the road. You come to my place sometime. I’ll make you a pot of REAL coffee, and we’ll talk where the walls don’t have ears.”

‘Thank you’ didn’t seem like enough, but Effie said it anyway.

She found Haymitch in the sun. Passing behind him, she slid her hands up the back of his neck into his hair. The top of his head was warm against her lips as she kissed him. He turned and tilted. She caught his mouth and tasted him for as long as he let her.

“I’ll buy you coffee every day for that kind of reward,” he said as she sat beside him, “What’s going on?”

“Thanks for bringing me here. ...That’s all.” Some secrets she wasn’t ready to tell.

Haymitch chuckled as he pulled a flask from his pocket. The joy was as palpable as if her hand was on his chest.

“Cream?” he asked.

She blushed in the memory. “Only with you.”

Haymitch poured a shot of whisky in her coffee. Then he kissed her again, just to be sure. ...To be sure that by tonight everyone in 12 would know he was seeing Effie Trinket — and for the moment he was happy. Even if the moment was fleeting, like a wisp of pink clouds in a summer sky.

[poptarts-and-rainbows]

I had to go meet my group project partners to finalize our presentation today (it's a Saturday, gentlemen, please!) and the one kid would have had to take a 3 hour bus ride to get to our meeting place, so I decided to be nice and picked him up.

Tbh the dude is a straight up pain in the ass to work with, super uptight about everything and I don't really even like him. It was hard to find conversation topics in the car, but we drove passed a resturant I had gone to for my birthday a few years ago, so for something to say, I pointed it out and told him it was really good. Underneath the resturant name it also said "wood fired pizza and spirits." He responded by saying he liked both of those things, especially since recently turning 21.

Guys, it was like a freaken light lit up inside of me. I told him about the speciality drinks they had, the literally bucket of alcohol I'd ordered there, and then my stupid mouth wouldn't shut up and asked what he liked to drink. We ended up going back and forth about different drinking stories and mixed drink recipes, and it was like I was actually awake and interested in something again for the first time in weeks.

I miss it. More, I'm craving it. It feels like a need that is screaming to be filled and trying to claw it's way out from under my skin.

I want the burn, the first buzz, the floating feeling, and when things start to get a little blurry around the edges. I miss how easy it makes things. I miss being able to disconnect and just feel nothing but free and loose, even if only for a little bit. (Sure, sometimes I cried when I drank, but I was a happy and lovey drunk more often than not.)

My period is due any time now and I've been PMSing super hardcore for the last few days. I've been feeling uncomfortable and angry and sad, plus my move is coming up in just over a week, so that's stressing me out on top of it- and a bunch more other stuff I'm trying not to dwell on too.

I want to drink. I want to be drunk, I do. I didn't even want it this bad the last time I caved, I was just high and alone and it was available to me, so I made a poor choice, but I wasn't really craving it.

Right now I'm laying in my room, so so close to going to the store and buying a bottle of vodka (there might even be some cheap stuff in the freezer). I could bring it to my room, my roommates wouldn't even have to know (it's not like they come in here to see me anymore anyways). Nobody would, not unless I told them. It would be so easy.

But I don't want to want it anymore. I can't control it, and I want to be batter.

So, maybe still not much in the way of finding healthy coping mechanisms, I popped a few Unisom and have been writing this while I wait for them to kick in and hopefully help me pass out soon instead. Peace out, y'all, I hope everybody has a good night ✌🏼💕💖