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minhosimthings · 10 days ago

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Heaven and Back || SJY, PSH || 18+

In which you buy leashes for your favourite pup and kitten.

Pairings: kittyHybrid!Sunghoon × puppyHybrid!Jake × sugarmommy!reader

Warnings: SMUT MINORS DNI, hoon and Jake are hybrids, not much hybrid stuff just tails and ears, dom!reader, sub!JakeHoon, threesome, anal sex, p in v, double penetration, oral (f and m), leashes (on JakeHoon), degradation, praise, swearing, choking, breath play, masturbating (m), reader is Jakehoon's sugar mommy, unprotected sex (not for you), edging, cumming inside, use of 'mommy', includes Yunjin of Lessreafim, reader is LOADED

A/N this is most probably the longest smut I've ever written and the subbiest smut I've written too lol. Shout out to my irl bestie for very nicely instructing me about leashes (he nearly killed me). This is specially dedicated to my beloved unhinged murder kitten child @jaeyunluvr. So I hope she likes this! And I hope you all love this too! Ciao my babies💖

Song Rec: Heaven and Back by Chase Atlantic

Word count: 8K (my apologies in advance)

“Whose great idea was it to visit this place again?” Yunjin tilted her head back at you, “Because I am never leaving.”

“Freak.” You chuckled, running your hand through some soft foam objects of whose purpose you had no idea, “And it was my great idea, thank you very much.” Yunjin turned to you holding up a million scrunchies in her hands.

“Buy these for me.” She said with a dead-pan face making you burst into laughter, “Oh come on, you’re rich enough,” She looked greedily down at the velvety hair-ties, “Please, mommy?”

“Huh Yunjin, never call me that ever again.” You said in between snorts of laughter, “Plus, I’m here for some more expensive stuff.”

“Babe, we’re in a literal sex store.” Yunjin said, eyeing some very pink vibrators hanging in the corner, “Everything here is expensive.”

“Fuck capitalism dude.” You sighed, walking deeper into the large store. Everything In there transported you into a retro-american Lana Del Rey music video, with nostalgic pinks, reds and blues covering every inch of it. You wondered mindlessly what on earth scrunchies were doing at a place like this, when you heard Yunjin gasp.

“Y/N look!” She said excitedly like a child in a candy shop, “Look at these beauties.” You followed your eyes up to where she was pointing, and softly chuckled, sleeping your hands into the pockets of your pants.

Leashes.

Gloriously long, magnificently coloured, leashes.

“Are you alright hun?” You said, raising your hand up to pull one of the black coloured ones down from its hanger, “It's not like you to suggest leashes.” Your fingers toyed with the metal chain of the scandalous thing in your hand. You tugged at the price tag to see how much the gorgeous thing was worth.

After all, you only wanted the best for your boys.

“Well isn't this cheap?” You handed the leash to Yunjin who widened her eyes and looked at you as if you had gone positively insane.

“Cheap?” She whispered dramatically, “150 dollars is cheap to you?” She scoffed before she put the leash back on its hanger, “Damn mommy, you are rich.”

“Careful Jinnie, you’re still my assistant.” You chuckled, as you pulled your hands out of your pockets and placed one each on your hip, “Well, I think I’m gonna take two of these.”

“For the boys?” Yunjin asked, putting a thoughtful finger to her chin, “Hmm..I think the blue one and the white one will be nice!”

“Good eye.” You complimented her, letting her pull those ones off. You took the white one in your hand, which had a little bow attached to it, thinking about how cute Jake would look in it. The blue would certainly suit Sunghoon, what with his porcelain skin suiting almost any and every colour.

“Should I go and ring them up then?” Yunjin asked to which you nodded.

“Oh and Jinnie.” You called just as she was about to leave, “Get as many scrunchies as you want.”

Yunjin smiled at you brightly and skipped off to find scrunchies in her favourite colour, leaving you alone to explore more of the shop. From the exterior of the shop, you would never have guessed that it was such a large one, with the endless rows of goodies never coming to a stop. You ought to have brought Jake and Sunghoon here one day; you knew they’d certainly enjoy it.

From the day you’d met both of them, you’ve practically been inseparable. Being a hot-shot business woman in an industry dominated by old men and young fools took a toll on your mental health. If only you had someone to help you take all that stress out. It was Yunjin who had convinced you to follow the ridiculous idea of having a sugar baby–or perhaps even two.

And that was how a puppy-hybrid Jake and kitten-hybrid Sunghoon came into your life, eagerly helping you relieve your stress after a long day signing paperwork and calculating the misogyny. But they had grown into more than just average sex toys. They were also the careful and safe arms that you could slip into whenever you needed to, the gentle hands that would run through your hair on a peaceful night, and the peculiar minds who could convince you to take a break everytime you were on the verge of bleeding through your nose.

So you obviously had to get them a present for your two-year anniversary right?

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Sunghoon’s hand trembled as he carefully set the last edible flower onto the thick buttercream. The cake had to be perfect, so he had started decorating it as soon as it cooled down. He knew you loved violas the most, so he tried to make the flowers look as much as violas as possible. He wondered if Jake was done with whatever he was doing, when the younger man walked into the room.

“The bedroom’s done!” Jake announced proudly, his fluffy golden ears in excitement as he dropped into a chair by the kitchen island, “She’s gonna love it.”

“I hope so.” Sunghoon sighed, taking his apron off, “I had to beg Yunjin to tell me what cake she likes best.”

“To think that it’s been two years and she still doesn't tell us her favourite foods.” Jake scoffed, eyeing the cake with hunger behind his eyes, “But that’s Y/N for you.”

“Jake, those puppy eyes aren't gonna get you a bite of this.” Sunghoon picked the cake up and walked over to the main dining table, where he carefully set it down, “This is for my beloved and my beloved only.”

“Our beloved.” Jake corrected, “Man, she’s done so much for us in the past few years, I hope we can repay the favour.” Sunghoon laughed at the sight of Jake’s golden yellow tail wagging jovially, as it often did whenever Jake thought about you, Sunghoon’s own sleek, thin, black tail lay resting, swishing about every now and then. His black ears sat atop his head patiently, waiting for the sound of the door opening.

“When do you think she’ll be home?” Sunghoon said with an impatient tone to his voice, “The cake will–” Before he could finish his sentence however, his observant ears swooped up, pointing out the kitchen door. The sound of the door creaking open alerted Jake as well, who was out of the room faster than Sunghoon could say a word.

Jake’s feet led him straight out into the hallway, where you stood, taking off your coat and hanging it up, you had a shopping bag in your hand and a mischievous smile on your face as you turned to him and opened your arms for a hug, which Jake ran straight into.

“I missed you.” Jake whined as you wrapped your arms around him tighter, with one of your hands even going up to scratch behind his ears.

“She’s only been gone half a day Jake.” You looked up to see Sunghoon leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, “You’ve handled worse than that havent you?”

‘Don’t be so rough on him, Hoon.” You chuckled, walking up to him, “You’re not better either.” Sunghoon’s mouth closed as soon as it was open, when your fingers ran through the fur of his ears, slowly scratching it. You smirked when his eyes closed for a second, letting himself melt into the warmth of your gentle touch. Which he knew could turn rough at any moment.

“Why does the entire house smell like chamomile?” You said, to which Jake meekly smiled and Sunghoon rolled his eyes.

“That would be his amazing decoration skills.” Sunghoon grunted, his tail swishing around lazily, “Are you hungry?” He quickly diverted the topic, which brought your attention back to your grumbling stomach. You nodded, to which Sunghoon smiled and led you into the dining room, with Jake following behind.

“Ta-da!” Jake exclaimed as soon as you lay your eyes on the cake set on the dining table, “Hoon made it all by himself.” His tail wagged speedily, compared to Sunghoon. Though you had to admit that Sunghoon’s ears, which were dropped to hide his flushed face, were far more adorable.

“A slice, my queen?” Sunghoon said, his eyes instantly cringing in shame at his words.

“Wow......” You chuckled, sitting down on the chair that Jake had pulled out for you, “You made this for me?”

Sunghoon shyly nodded, though his tail betrayed him by rising up in pride. It certainly did have a mind of its own. In order to hide his blushing cheeks, Sunghoon quickly slipped into the kitchen to retrieve a knife to cut the cake. He was greeted with the sight of Jake excitedly rambling about his day to you when he came back.

You giggled, nodding dramatically as he cut out a large slice of the cream-coloured cake and placed it on the plate, nudging it towards you. Jake’s eyes followed you with rapt attention as you brought a piece upto your mouth, eating it slowly so as to fully understand the flavour. Sunghoon had done well, in your opinion; it tasted heavenly.

“Well?” Sunghoon looked at you with hesitation, twiddling his thumbs.

“You’re making this everyday from now on.” You laughed, setting your fork down. The two men laughed along, keeping their eyes set on you to track your every move.

Smirking to yourself, you casually dipped your finger into the thick frosting of your slice of cake, making sure your finger was evenly coated in it, before licking it, very slowly, with your slender tongue. You were quite sure that you heard Jake whimper beside you.

“Want some, Jakey?” You raised a brow at him.

Dipping your finger once more, you raised it up to Jake’s salivating mouth, which he generously took. Leaning forward, the dog-eared man took the entirety of your finger into his mouth, gently sucking on it. You felt your skin prickle by the way his tongue swirled around.

“That’s enough, baby.” You said gently, though to Jake, it sounded more like a command, “We’ve gotta let Hoon have a turn too, hm?” Jake silently obeyed, looking at you with the same wide eyes, with his fluffy ears positively dying to be scratched. But you wouldn't give him that satisfaction just yes.

Turning your back to him, you came face to face with a droopy eared Sunghoon, who was evidently jealous of the attention his fellow hybrid was getting. Instead of dipping your finger into the frosting, this time, you led your hand up to his ears, scratching behind them again. But this time, your fingers lingered to his hair, eventually reaching to the back of his head, where you kept massaging it. Hard as he tried, Sunghoon failed to not fall into a trance, absolutely sinking into the comfort of your hands. You moved closer to him.

“My sweet boys.” You chuckled, pulling at his hair gently, which made him purr softly, “You’ve been so good for mommy all day, haven’t you?”

“Y-yes mommy.” Sunghoon whispered, as you pulled his hair rougher this time. You chuckled again, releasing his hair so suddenly that he didn't open his eyes, until after a minute or so. When he did, he looked flabbergasted that you had deprived him of his pleasure.

Both the men sat silently as you reached over to grab the shopping bag you’d brought with you; in the excitement to show you the cake, they had completely forgotten to ask you what was in it. They decided to ignore that question though, when you pulled out the most unexpected items out from the bag.

Jake and Sunghoon sat dumb-struck as they stared at the things you had set in front of them. It appeared to be…..leashes?

“You know what they are, my darlings?” You asked them to which they nodded, “Then you’ll know what to do with them I suppose?” Another round of nodding; you smiled, “Good.” You stood up from your seat and started for the kitchen door, but not before placing a sweet kiss to each of their foreheads.

“I’ll have a shower and I’ll get to bed.” You said before exiting the room, “Get dolled up for me.” You winked, before racing up to the master bedroom, leaving Jake and Sunghoon alone with their new toys.

They looked at each other hesitantly before grabbing one each and hurrying off to the bedroom.

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You let out a sigh of relief as the hot water hit your skin, instantly providing relaxation to your tight muscles. Talking about numbers and inflation rates all day stressed you out, so a hot shower was your go to as soon as you reached home. Usually one of the boys joined you, most often Jake since Sunghoon fell asleep quite easily, betraying his feline qualities. You always loved Jake in the shower though; he was always so full of energy for you and the way his fluffy golden tail and floppy ears tickled you pink during a wet session made you extra sleepy, so much so that you were as dead as a log the minute your skin touched the sheets.

You laughed to yourself at the distant memory of Jake accidentally making you sneeze in the shower when some of his fur got into your nose. Picking up your shampoo bottle, you squeezed some onto your hand, spreading it into your scalp with deep, massaging movements that made you relax even more. But then again you couldn't wait to get out and see how the boys looked in their new clothes.

Meanwhile, outside the bathroom—

“How the fuck is this supposed to work.” Jake stared down at whatever the thing was in his hands, “I thought she was getting us some necklaces or something.”

“Technically these are necklaces.” Sunghoon spoke slowly, looking down at his blue leash with the same confused expression, his naked chest rising and falling slowly, “Have you figured out how it opens yet?”

“Do I look like a scientist to you?” Jake said, frowning when Sunghoon jokingly ruffled his head, “Hey, don’t mess it up! I combed it specifically for Y/N.”

“Hmm…don’t care.” Sunghoon chuckled, his tail reaching up to tickle Jake’s shins, “How about we put these on each other? Maybe that’ll help us figure it out?”

Though Jake didn't understand the plan to understand the leashes, he nodded, getting onto his knees on the bed, so as to reach Sunghoon’s height. He grabbed the blue object out of Sunghoon’s hands and studied it for a moment, before raising it up and trying to force it down onto his friend’s cat ears. Sunghoon groaned.

“You really are dumb.” He said, rubbing the place Jake was putting so much pressure on, “Try pulling that strap there, maybe it’ll open up.” Jake obeyed promptly, taking the baby-blue strap and tugging on it as gently as he could, to his surprise, the collar widened.

“It worked!” Jake exclaimed, as Sunghoon looked on with a smug smile, “ Stay still, I’ll put it on you!”

Sunghoon bent forward in order to allow Jake to slip the leather piece on comfortably. He pulled at the strap again and coughed loudly when the collar suddenly tightened up, almost choking Sunghoon.

“What the fuck?!” Sunghoon exclaimed, freeing himself by pulling the strap yet again, “Did she get these things to kill us or something?” He shook his head, in order to keep his ears from zooming all over the place, “Fucking hell, I am not wearing that for her!”

“What are you not wearing for me, Hoonie?”

Sunghoon was always a sensitive man, with his feline features contributing to ninety percent of his sensitivity. He could always sense a thunderstorm or a shift in the atmosphere merely with his tail. That was how he was able to grasp the change in the air as you entered the room, wearing a velvety, pink robe that slipped off of your right shoulder. His eyes gravitated to your chest, where the flimsy material of the robe did nothing to hide your perked up nipples. Jake gulped loudly next to him.

“Now don’t you look adorable?” You laughed, walking towards them slowly, like a predator towards its prey. Yunjin was right in choosing the colours. Jake looked positively gorgeous in the white, whilst Sunghoon’s skin seemed to enjoy the light blue.

Your hand gravitated naturally to Jake’s ears as you reached the foot of the bed, where the both of them sat, with Jake on his knees. He let out an audible whine as you scratched behind his eyes, his tail wagging up and down rapidly and hitting the bed with soft thumps. You smiled at him.

“So needy..” You teased climbing onto the bed, prompting Jake to go back further, until he reached the bed frame. Sunghoon remained in his position. You looked back at him, stopping in your crawling position.

“Aren’t you gonna join us, Hoonie?” Your low, sultry voice combined with your hooded, almost droopy eyes made Sunghoon’s heart jump. He knew you could probably see his erection from his boxers by now, but he didnt care. Swiftly pulling his legs up, he crawled over next to you, immediately going for your lips. You shifted back as he kissed you, one of your hands on the bed, while the other located the leash’s strap. Smirking into the wet kiss, you allowed Sunghoon to enjoy the tantalising feeling, before pulling harshly on the strap.

“Naughty baby.” You cooed, as Sunghoon shut his eyes at the occluding sensation of the collar around his beautiful neck, “You didn't even ask for permission to kiss mommy.”

“..m sorry, m-mommyy..” He drawled out, his voice restricted by the leash around his neck.

Your eyes lit up at the sight of Sunghoon’s neck veins becoming more visible by the minute. You loosened your grasp around the strap for a moment letting him breathe. His chest heaved up and down, taking a deep breath, before you leaned in, your robe now completely off of your upper body as your lips attacked his.

“Hmm…you taste like sugar.” You chuckled, at the sight of his big black ears drooping down as you pulled away, his eyes round and wide as he begged you to relieve him of the throbbing pain in his pants. He swore he heard the threads of his boxers rip.

You glanced to your side at Jake, grinning when you saw his big puppy eyes, and wagging tail trying to distract you from Sunghoon. You let go of Sunghoon’s hair much to his disappointment and crawled over closer to Jake, getting on top of him, before leaning in and kissing behind his ear.

“You missed me today didn't you, pup?” You cooed at him as if he was an actual baby. Jake nodded, his tail bouncing off again at the scent of your perfume. He wanted nothing more than to make you feel good at the moment. But he knew well enough that he had to wait obediently for your permission.

You were about to lean in again for a kiss, when you felt the sensation of soft lips sucking on your bare shoulder. Jake’s attention, which was earlier on your naked breasts, went straight to the purring cat behind you, who was sucking on your shoulder with his teeth. Sunghoon’s chest pressed against your back, and you could practically feel how desperate he was getting, what with his boner rubbing on your ass through his boxers.

“Sunghoon…” You mumbled, turning your head back to look at him. There he was again, with his big eyes begging you for salvation, but you wouldn't let him have it. Not so soon.

“You’re a good boy for me, yeah?” You smiled at him, grabbing his chin with your fingers and tilting it towards you, “How about you go lay down next to Jake hmm?”

Sunghoon didn’t need another word from your tongue to obey, quickly pouncing onto the bed and laying his head down next to Jake on the pillow. His muscles relaxed into the soft material of the sheets, and he could feel Jake’s body heat next to him. The rapid thumping of the heart of the pup was heard as well, his sharp ears picking up almost everything.

“Now…” You smiled warmly, catching the both of them off guard, “you’ll be alright with keeping these on right?” Jake felt the collar round his neck constrict; he realised soon enough that you were tugging on it with straps you held in your hands.

“Anything for you.” Jake heard Sunghoon purr, his own leash restricting his vocal cords. Jake shivered as your hand, still clutching the strap of his leash reached up to brush against his thigh.

You shifted closer to the golden-furred man, forcing him to spread his legs as you accommodated yourself between them, on your knees. Sunghoon watched on silently, muffling his moans every time your hand tugged on his leash. He hated how much he loved the feeling of his breath being obstructed by you.

Hooking your fingers into each side of Jake’s boxers, you pulled them off in one swift go to reveal his throbbing cock; it was already drenched in pre-cum with the angry red tip beckoning you to calm it down. You looked up at Jake, whose face was contorted in pain at the feeling of the collar round his neck. You were enjoying this a bit too much, seeing Jake writhe in a cocktail of pain as well as pleasure everytime you ‘accidentally’ tugged a little too hard.

“Shh, be a good boy now.” You cooed at him, watching him yelp when you tugged harshly at his leash, his head sprang up from the pillow, being pulled by the force of your tight grip round the strap, “Hoonie baby…” You looked over at the purring Sunghoon, whose ears were sprang up in rapt attention, “You wouldn't mind touching yourself while I taste Jakey hm?”

“Yes.” Sunghoon gulped, moving to take his boxers off, when he suddenly felt blood rush to his ears and oxygen flow to his brain. Before he knew it, he was mere inches from your face, having been pulled up by you from his leash–you were definitely stronger than you thought you were–and Sunghoon was loving every minute of it.

“Yes what?” You whispered, your hot breath fanning on Sunghoon’s face.

“Yes........mommy.” Sunghoon rasped out, his eyes practically begging you to tug his leash harder. But you merely let it go, making him fall back onto the bed. He didn't say anything after that, letting you get your attention back to Jake, as he removed his boxers. You glanced at his cock, leaky, red, throbbing, and huge; his once light pink tip was a flashy lighter red and his balls were hardened—waiting to be touched by your masterful hands. But Sunghoon knew he had to wait as obediently and as patiently as he could. Only then would you give him his reward.

Meanwhile, your scrutiny was back on Jake. He felt his skin erupt into goose-pimples at your fiery gaze, your robe was already off now, and at the glimpse of your belly button and labia, Jake’s cock hardened even more. You sank down to your stomach in front of him, your sultry eyes visible to him above his tummy.

“Mmm, so big and hard for me,” You purred, giving his cock a slow stroke, your eyes locked on his as you savoured the feeling of him in your hand. A whimper leapt out of Jake’s mouth, his tail wagging profusely at the pleasurable feeling. God he could have died right there and then.

“M-Mommy please…” He begged, thought it came out more as a long whine. You chuckled, massaging his cock with your hand, while your other hand stayed on Sunghoon’s leash.

“Please what, baby?”

Jake’s heart raced as you prepared, wanting to savour every moment. But he hadn’t said his magic words yet.

“Need you to–oh!” With a groan, Jake leaned into your tightening hold on his length, pulsing and achingly hard for you, “Need you to suck my dick.” He whined in an unusually high pitched voice, “Please mommy?” He added as if it was an afterthought, with huge puppy eyes and ears that bounced off of his head.

“Good boy.” You smirked, stroking up and down his shaft, causing him to slowly exhale as your hand rubbed up and down his length. He whined as you licked the thick and prominent veins on his dick and practically made out with his pink and leaky tip. You didn't forget to tug on Sunghoon’s leash either, his lazy tail catching your eye.

The both of them let out a moan simultaneously, their voices blending together to create the perfect harmony.

You took Jake into your mouth, the warmth enveloping him as you hollowed your cheeks and sank down as far as you could go. The feeling of him stretching your lips made you moan, sending vibrations that only spurred him on further.

As Jake’s body shuddered, he groaned deeply, his cock pulsing in your mouth. “Fuuuck!” he shouted, the sound reverberating through the room. A strained groan left his throat again and his head fell back in pleasure. You pushed some of him into your throat to gag, earning more spit to pump the rest of his length with.

Meanwhile, now with an already strained arm, a shiver runs down Sunghoon’s spine- all the way to his throbbing erection held so tightly in his right hand. He purrs softly as his thumb touches the little spot on his balls that drives him practically insane. He keeps rubbing on that one point, imagining that it was you, who was giving him so much pleasure.

The material of the leash’s collar loosens around him—evidently you forgot to tug on it. He presses himself harder against it, moaning loud enough for you to glance up at him. For a split second, Sunghoon’s eyes land on yours and you smirk, tugging the leash gently.

“H-Harder.” He whines, rubbing his thumb across the divot on his tip, “Harder mommy pleeease..”

Caught up in sucking Jake off, you obliged, and pulled harshly, your hands becoming red and calloused by how tight of a grip you had on the leash as Sunghoon’s wet fingers glided up and down his length.

With a desperate thrust, Jake filled your mouth completely, bringing your attention back to his shivering figure, and you felt the warmth of his cum coating your tongue.

The moment stretched on, electric and intoxicating, as you relished the feeling of being so utterly consumed by his need.

Jake’s cock brushed the back of your throat, and you felt him pulse in your mouth, a telltale sign of his impending release.

With that, you took him in your mouth once more, eager to please him, to give him what he craved. You felt a rush of power coursing through you as you worked him, your fingers tracing along the base as your mouth worked diligently.

“Fuckkkk,” he hissed, his voice strained, each word dripping with desire. “I’m so close mommy…”

Your pace quickened and his breathing got faster. His cock slammed into the back of your throat causing you to gag on it. Your free hand wandered to his lower back as support. As he fucked your throat harder and harder your choking became louder and louder which only made him hornier.

Then his hand came grasping your head as hard as possible before he pushed your head up and down his length at a medium tempo, causing him to groan even louder and grip even harder. His thick cock shoved into your throat at once made you choke and breathe heavily. Your spit trickled down your chin and onto the sheets.

You increase your speed, bobbing up and down while keeping your teeth away from his tender flesh. Your jaw is gradually growing tired, but you're committed to this. You try swirling your tongue around him as you move, and it looks like you've made the right choice by the way his noises become more and more desperate.

Now, Sunghoon was fucking his cock like he had a point to prove, snapping his wrist as he brought his free hand off of his thigh, swiping the digits across his dick while he soaked the others to the knuckle. A startled, strangled moan of your name leaves his lips, the loud sounds of his pleasure echoing as he fisted his cock the best he could.

Maybe it was the view of you giving Jake all he wanted, or maybe it was because of how pent up he was, but it didn’t take another stroke before Sunghoon could feel his heavy balls tighten, throbbing in his own tight grasp. He had to make himself cum, needed to before Jake blew his load too soon. Your hand pulls the leash urgently, jerky little moves that have his hips bucking into his fist haphazardly.

With a few more eager motions, Sunghoon’s breathing quickened, his body tensing as he teetered on the brink.

Hot ropes of cum surged forth, flooding the sheets and his fingers. He kept pumping greedily, unwilling to let go of his high. Savouring every drop, his eyes locked onto your figure, as you pulled the leash even harder, wanting to milk every last bit from him. He couldn't breathe at this point but he felt that he didn't even need to, the breathlessness only adding to the impact of his drasticorgasm.

“Oh fucking hell…” Sunghoon panted, his voice thick with satisfaction. “Fuckk—thank you—mommy….” He whispered the last words, though he knew you probably couldn't hear them, as you were focused on making Jake cum.

“Fuck! ” Jake cried, his voice a mixture of pleasure and raw need. With one final thrust, he buried himself deep inside, his hips jerking as he released a torrent of hot cum down your throat.

Waves of warmth filled your mouth, and you struggled to swallow it all as he groaned, his body shuddering with each intense wave of pleasure.

“God, yes! Just like that!” he whined, a few tears escaping from his eyes as he closed them shut, lost in the ecstasy of the moment.

You felt a thrill rush through you as you swallowed, savouring the taste of him, the salty flavour satisfying you just enough to give an extra tug to Sunghoon’s leash. You looked up to see two pairs of shaggy ears standing up straight with soft fur shivering as both the boys worked through their respective orgasms.

Slowly but surely, you pulled away from Jake, your mouth feeling a bit sorer than before. You heard a distinct, shuddering sigh escaping from Jake’s throat. You couldn't tell if it was one of tiredness or one of disappointment–that you had stopped working on his pleasure.

“Tired, pup?” You cocked your head to the side, wiping your mouth with your hands. Jake’s eyes fluttered open, his long eyelashes looking up at you with firm determination. He was ready to do anything to make sure your cunt was nice and warm by the time you went to bed. But to his dismay, your gaze wavered over to Sunghoon.

“Kittyy..” You said in a sing-song voice, “Mommy hasn't been giving you much this evening has she?” You chuckled at the sight of his pout, his brows furrowed and his eyes droopy. Evidently he longed to have a taste of your touch, having been so deprived of it since you had only paid attention to the pup next to him all evening.

“Want you so bad, mommy.” He said, or rather whined, “Please…I’ll do anything.” You smirked at his wide eyes, so full of stars and hope. You didn't want to disappoint him this time.

Crawling up to him, you twisted the strap of his leash around your fingers, pulling it to make him sit up to your level. You climbed onto his lap with ease, ignoring his throbbing dick which was dying to get inside of your pussy.

“You’ll do anything huh?” You smiled, leaning in to peck him on his rosy cheeks, “How about…lending mommy some of your tongue?”

Sunghoon’s smile faded a little as he realised he wasn't about to get his erection dumbed down. Nevertheless, he nodded eagerly, pecking you on the cheek as well, to which you giggled.

“Oh you naughty kitty!” You laughed, reaching up to caress his hair and fur, “Touching me without permission.” You ran your fingers through his lush hair, scratching his scalp every now and then. You could hear him purr softly, the heat from him warming you up and his tail swooped around to touch your back. You smiled at the tickling sensation.

Wrapping your arms around his waist, you managed to manoeuvre him into letting you slide into bed, while he got on top of you. You glanced sideways to see Jake still panting from his high, his eyes tirelessly fighting sleep. From your sleeping position, you reached out a hand to stroke his cheek, feeling his warm skin deliquesce into your touch.

“I’ll get back to you, pup.” You cooed, now seeing that his breathing was more normal and his ears were twitching to the sound of your voice.

Your eyes snapped back to Sunghoon, when you felt the brush of his feather-soft lips on your neck. It soon turned into a harsher one, wet and dirty, with his saliva dripping down the curve of your neck. You clicked your tongue.

“Dirty, dirty boy, Sunghoon.” You said, trying to hide the amusement in your voice, “Shouldn't you save that for my pussy?”

“Sorry mommy..” Sunghoon mumbled, still attaching your neck with his lips, “can’t resist it.”

Before you could open your mouth to say anything, Sunghoon gripped your waist with his hands, momentarily forgetting who was incharge. His mouth kissed all the way down your body, vacationing for a while at the valley of your breasts. You knew he was fighting his demons not to suck your hardened nipples; he had enough self control within him to ask for your permission to do that.

But Sunghoon seemed to forget all about your tits as soon as he saw your cunt, all wet and dripping with juices just for him to lap up. His ears twitched when he heard you chuckle at his stunned expression. You reached your hand down to pat him on the head, gripping his hair tightly for only a second before letting go. He would have loads of that later on.

“You wanna make mommy feel good, kitty?” Sunghoon nodded at your statement; he locked eyes with you as you smirked, collapsing onto the pillow soon after, “Then suck mommy dry.”

You tense as soon as you say the sentence. Your hips immediately grind down against his face. You always loved Sunghoon’s tongue better than Jake’s, the long ever-energetic flesh fitting inside your pussy like a key in a lock.

And the feeling of his warm, wet tongue on your soaked pussy drove you insane. You moaned much louder than you meant to, but you couldn't help it. He apparently knew exactly what he was doing, because this felt magical.

“G-Good boy—oh fuck!” Your words struggled to escape out from your mouth. Your hand tried to grip the sheets, but it was obstructed by something.

The leash.

In your moment of sudden intoxication, you had forgotten all about it. You gave it an experimental tug and immediately felt Sunghoon moan in the most obscene way possible, his hot breath fanning your sensitive pussy. He kept groaning as his throat tightened up, struggling to get air inside. And yet his erection only grew larger.

With every grind and suckle on your clit you were getting closer and closer to cumming. It was a wet and filthy experience, your arousal dripping down Sunghoon’s chin and soaking his face. You could feel it down your thighs, his chin scratching against your delicate skin with every jaw movement, every grind.

You didn't know what to do with your free hand, so they latched onto his hair, pulling tightly. So tightly, in fact, that he groaned. And his voice against your body felt like it was vibrating.

“Oh fuck—Sunghoon!” You cried, accidentally pulling the leash, “Keep—keep doing that…that’s a g-good kitty.” Sunghoon moaned into your cunt again, making you grunt with satisfaction. You could feel your orgasm approaching.

You let out a string of gasps; low, breathy sounds that made Sunghoon’s heart flutter while he stroked your walls, still frantically trying to find friction against the bed to quell the ache in his own core.

“‘Taste so gooood,” Sunghoon moans in a way that's almost pornographic, tongue dipping down to gather up your slick. “‘taste so sweet mommy, shiiiitttt.”

He licked a stripe up your vulva, his tongue flat and getting every inch of your pussy till he reached your clit where he wrapped his lips around it and gently sucked. Sunghoon felt a sense of pride rushing through him. He revelled in the fact that he knew how to make your body feel good, how to make you feel good. Your pussy clenched around nothing as he started flicking his tongue against you. Your faintly opened eyes could see Sunghoon’s tail high up in the air, swishing around proudly.

"Oh god, I think I'm gonna–"

You're cut off by an enormous tidal wave of bliss crashing into you. The way his lips sucked on your clit always had you almost passing out when you came.

Your breath catches in your throat, before releasing in an obscenely loud moan. Your legs begin to shake, and you feel your insides clench against Sunghoon’s notorious tongue. Stars fill your vision. This has to be the best thing you've ever experienced in your life, there's nothing else like it on earth.

Your hands worked hard to pull Sunghoon’s hair, wrenching him closer to you, so that his tongue could be buried fully inside your throbbing cunt. Sunghoon moans again—it's a vulgar scene—with his nose bumping against your labia. You tasted so amazing, like a delicacy which he wanted to devour as if he were a man starved of love.

Sunghoon laps up your juices that drip down like a waterfall from the crevices of your pussy. Your fingers, still tangled in his hair, encourage him, lazily scratching his fur. You could see the goosebumps that erupt on his skin as you did so.

“Come ‘ere.” You mumbled, tapping your thigh. Sunghoon obeyed promptly, getting to your thigh faster than you could say anything else.

“Mommy I—”

You lean in hastily, connecting his lips with yours to effectively shut him up. His body barrels into yours, pushing you further into the bed. The leash is abandoned as you stroke your fingertips along the tender skin of his neck, sighing into his mouth through the deep kiss.

“Hoonie..” You said in a saccharine tone, “You made mommy feel so good, you know?” You felt his body tense up from the praise, as he continued to kiss down your neck; you smirked, “But I think I want more.” Your tone was sultry, beckoning to Sunghoon’s ear as you whispered your words to him. His dick was more than ready to be corrupted by your amazing pussy, but he waited on for your permission.

“You wanna give mommy your cock hm?” You questioned, tracing your hand up to the back of his ears and scratching it. Sunghoon’s eyes closed above you, there was not a single thought in his mind. It was you, and only you.

And before you knew it you were throwing your head back, a soft moan slipping past your lips as you grasped his broad shoulders, trying to steady yourself while your body moved on instinct—grinding and bouncing in a messy, desperate rhythm that sent shivers up your spine.

"Oh, fuck—so biggg," you muttered breathlessly, your voice shaky, pleasure washing over every inch of you.

“You’re—fuck–so tight mommy.” Sunghoon groaned, feeling your pussy immediately mould to the shape of his cock. The stretch was incredible, waves of arousal shooting up your spine with every inch he sunk them in, your cunt fluttering around the swell.

“Ah-ahh–fucking hell!” Sunghoon whined, forcing his cock down your hole.

You cry out, the feeling of him pushing into you driving you mad. There’s a sliver of pain as he bottoms out inside of your dripping cunt. Waves of pleasure accompany the sting of the stretch, and your eyes flutter as he rocks slowly into you. He’s watching the way his cock splits you open, low grunts coming from deep within his chest.

In an attempt to grab the sheets, your hand accidentally brushed against warm skin. You glanced to your side and there you spotted him, with his eyes snapped shut.

Jake.

You smirked.

“Jake—Jakeyy..” You chuckled, through the stretch Sunghoon was providing you, effectively jolting Jake awake. His hair was all messy and his ears were laid on one another; he blinked up at you slowly and then he widened his eyes at the vulgar sight in front of him.

“Won't you join us, pup?” You said, muffling a moan. God damn did Sunghoon’s dick drive you bonkers.

Jake shifted in his positions; sleep was still heavy on his eyelids and to be completely honest, he didnt really want to fuck you. Rather shameful for him, really.

“‘m tired mommy…” He groaned, begging you to let him go for the night. Sunghoon would have been more than enough for you. But from the look on your face and the fact that Sunghoon had stopped moving and was now looking at him, Jake knew he wasn't going to get any shut-eye.

Your fingers fiddled around the sheets, with your gaze fixed on Jake’s, until you felt it in your hands.

Jake’s leash.

Thinking back to it, you realised that you hadn't really had any fun this evening with Jake and his pretty white leash with a bow. The bow looked so adorable on him, so enchanting, so submissive.

Clasping the strap in your hand, you pulled roughly, surprised that you still had energy in you. Jake let out a gasp and slid closer to you, by God did you enjoy this. Thick veins appeared on the curve of his neck and his tail started wagging uncontrollably fast, like it had a mind of its own.

“Tch Tch.” You clicked your tongue, Sunghoon let out a cold laugh, “Already so tired? Come on now pup, mommy’s trained you better than that.”

“But–”

“Then again, you don’t want to make mommy feel good do you?” You sighed, you were getting more fun out of this than Sunghoon’s dick buried deep in your gaping hole, “You’re being such a bad boy, pup.”

“No!” Jake defended himself, looking at you with pleasing eyes, “No mommy......I want to make you feel good!” He whimpered when you tugged him closer to you, the fresh scent of his body lotion filing your nostrils, “Give me another chance, please?”

You grinned at him and let out a laugh, forcing your gaze back to Sunghoon. He understood what you wanted immediately and carefully manoeuvred your body to get on your side, with his hands grabbing your waist. You looked back at Jake and winked.

Before you could give an order, or rather attempt one, you found Jake's mouth on your neck, those sharp teeth digging into the top layer of your flesh.

At the same moment you attempted to speak his name, Jake pushed himself in, your walls not ready for such a protrusion, but the pup didn't care, not at the moment. Right now, he stared Sunghoon down over your shoulder, glazed eyes meeting his cold black ones.

With Jake’s chest pressed firmly against your back, Sunghoon’s hands dancing on your waist, and two thick cocks filling up both your holes you finally allowed yourself to let out an explicitly loud moan. It was music to Jake and Sunghoon’s ears—-confirmation that they had made you feel good. It also served as permission for them to move.

“Shit—squeezin me so–so good mommy,” Sunghoon grunts, brows pulled together as he snaps his hips into yours with particular force. He’s eyeing your swollen cunt, his thumb massaging a steady pattern into your skin. You clench around him involuntarily, your insides so swollen and tender that you imagine you can feel the ridges of his veins pulsing against your walls.

Jake’s pleading tone returned, his breath hot against your ear. “Feels so nice…..d-do you feel that mommy?” he whimpered.

“Yes–oh fucking hell!” You gasp, moaning so loudly that you felt sorry for your neighbours, “Making me feel so—ahhh–ah!” Your sentence wasn't to be finished, as two sets of teeth started sucking on the skin of your collarbone and your back. That primal instinct rose within Jake and Sunghoon–the instinct to tear flesh. But you didn't mind of course. You only felt your cunt get wetter.

“G-good boys–doing so good for me…” you murmured, your voice softening just enough to send a rush of heat straight to their cores, igniting their tails, “Doing so good for mommy.”

Their possessiveness only heightened the sensation, making them cling to you tighter as your body quivered with need. Every thrust pushed you closer to the brink, your body trembling as you teetered on the edge, waiting for that final push.

You ended up moving your hands to Sunghoon’s shoulder to hold on to him better as both the men thrusted more erratically. Before you could notice, they ended up digging into his shoulder muscle deeply. An animalistic moan ripped from his chest as he felt your nails draw blood. His hips moved on their own, in and out, into your warmth and out for a split second before plunging back into you faster and deeper than before. It was like his hips were moving faster than his mind could keep up, and the only thing he could think about was you.

“Don’t hold back…that's it,” You groan as you feel Jake’s cock immediately pick up speed.

Jake’s eyes close in pleasure and he starts to kiss your neck again, driving his cock further into your ass, before his movements change. His thrusts become quick and brutal, desperation colouring his movements. The sound of skin slapping against skin mingles with lustful noises. Your mind goes blank, every movement seems to make you get so close to your orgasm and see stars. Everything is a haze of pleasure, two cocks reaching the deepest part of you; one hugging your clit close, whilst the other abused your cervix.

Both of them fucked you mercilessly, filthily–just as you trained them. Sunghoon drove his dick in and out of you in quick succession, drilling your experienced pussy. And he knew you were loving every single second of it. Your soft words of praise and little moans only spurred Jake on as well and when your moist pussy clenched around his drumming cock announcing your orgasm, he couldn’t restrain himself for much longer. And neither could Sunghoon.

A harmony of climaxing moans erupt through the cold air, cum rapidly spurting, coating the sheets.

With a strangled moan that's partially muffled by your own will, you come undone. Your head spins and your heart pounds in your chest, you feel yourself gush and clamp down around Jake and Sunghoon’s lengths.. You feel Jake's hips stutter behind you and his cock throb against your wet walls. The feeling only prologues, when Sunghoon whines and intensifies your orgasm, your body going slack and eyes rolling back into your head.

And with one final shove of their hips, you were floating. You let out a strangled moan, something that came from low in your abdomen and exited your lips in a whiny, breathless cry. Jake relished it, pressing his face into your neck as he slowed down his ministrations, letting the sounds and signs of your pleasure coat him, body and mind. Sunghoon’s groans catch your attention as you come down from your high, still reeling from the aftershocks when you feel his cock twitch inside you and paint your walls with his hot spend.

You shiver drastically when they pull out. Your body is absolute jelly. You can't help but whine. feeling cum (you had no idea whose) starting to leak out. You’re a sopping wet mess between your thighs, between your own slick and the boys’ cum. But, you love this feeling.

And you love the softness in the way Sunghoon lets your back slump against the mattress gently, in the way Jake melts into your buddy, his fur providing you with enough warmth for the night.

“Y/N?” Sunghoon carefully whispers, aware of the fact that you were probably tired, “Should we run a bath or—”

“No–just..” You sigh, pulling him closer by his arm, “..stay like this for some time.”

Jake and Sunghoon smiled to themselves as they cuddled close to you, but now before they wretched the leashes off of their knock, giving each other a look for confirmation. Their necks were heavily bruised and their voices were more strained than before.

But they didn't really care.

After all, what more could they ask for, when they had their heaven between their arms?

fin.

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Taglist: @starfallia @katarinamae @lyxnneee

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fanfiction4sooya · 4 months ago

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Kitty cat (Hybrid Julie x Fem!R)

I am in love with kitty Julie, bye bye. Hope someone likes it! 💖💖

cw: angst, mentions of forced breeding, obviously g!p Julie, she can't properly speak, unprotected sex, creampie, slightly angst, attempted fluff, not really proofread;

Of course you didn't think that rescuing an adult hybrid was going to be too much work you were a vet after all. All your friends had hybrids as pets, and they all turned out fine so why not?

You rescued her one day after the police did an operation to arrest the owners of an illegal breeding clinic, made with the sole purpose of reproducing and selling rare breeds of animals.

She was beautiful and rare, a bengal cat hybrid; a lot of people tried to adopt her but she was very reserved and could get aggressive towards other people except for you, her vet.

It took you no time to fall in love with her personality and you figured it would be better to take her home than to leave her at the shelter.

.....

"I know they didn't give you a name" She was looking up as you dried her fluffy ears. "I'll name you Julie, how about that?" You asked her. Her eyes glimmered and she smiled, her fangs shining in the bathroom light.

"Julie" She repeated. She knew how to speak, but not very coherently since she wasn't encouraged to due to where she was raised. "Julie likes that" She risked that, hugging your waist.

"No, baby" You said softly. "You must say 'I like that' " And that was the beginning of your life with her.

A few months had passed and you two adpated fairly well, except for one thing. Julie could get a little handsy from time to time. As a vet you knew it was due to the fact she was used to having sex a lot of times in a week because of the clinic so it kind of became one of her basic and primal needs and of course you tried the best you could to help her.

You tried mating her with a lot of other hybrids but she would blantaly refuse, often dismissing your attempts and even hiding from them whenever you brought them over to your apartment. You noticed her getting more and more agitated, a bit angrier or grumpy whenever they left but she refused to talk.

After one more failed attempt she locekd herself in her bedroom for hours, refusing to see you.

"Julie..." You soflty knocked on her bedroom's door. Of course you gave a bedroom and spoiled her rotten, she was your beloved hybrid and you deeply cared for her. "Baby"

"No, go away" She said.

"I am not going, please let me in" You pleaded, not hearing anything anymore. After a few seconds you heard her door click, which it could only means she opened it up for you. "Thank you" You said, carefully entering her space.

"What?" She crossed her arms under her breasts, her sharp eyes analyzing your features. She wore a black t-shirt and a white pair of boxer briefs. You tried not to look at the bulge visbly present.

"Can you tell me why are you so angry, baby?" You sat at the edge of her bed and she nodded 'no'. You sighed, defeated. "Julie, in order for me to help you I have to know what's going on my darling kitty" You scooched a bit closer, touching her face and she bit her lips, eyes wattering.

"You..." She tried to say but she couldn't find the right words.

"It's okay, you can say it in the way it feels more comfortable to you" You assured her and she nodded.

"there where I was" She started, looking down. "They gave Julie others to mate... Julie didn't want that" You held her hand with one hand while carressing her fluffy ears with the other as they were pushed back. "You did same" She sniffled and your heart sank.

"I..." Slowly you realized your mistake. You really did the same.

"Julie likes you, not other cats" She said, still visibly hurt. "You want julie with others"

"baby, no..." You hugged her. "I am sorry, it wasn't my intention at all" You truthfully told her and she sniffled against your shirt, clutching hard to it. "I only wanted you to release some energy, I swear" You spoke into her hair, calmly grazing your hands up and down her back to soothe her. "I am so sorry, kitty. I promise I'll make it up to you. I am sorry" You repeated as she sobbed, her ears twitched with each sob of hers. It broke your heart to see that.

Slowly she started to calm down enough to fall asleep, softly purring against your neck.

You spent almost an hour with her on your lap, thinking of another way you could help her without making her think you wanted her to do the unspeakable things she used to at that fiflthy place they kept her at. You thought over and over of her saying "Julie likes you, not other cats" And the thought alone made you shiver, shaking your head.

"It's the only way, I think" You said to yourself and she purred louder, vibrating against your chest as her arms held you tighter. You closed your eyes too, giving yourself to a much needed sleep, thinking of dealing with that in the morning.

And well, the morning came.

You were woken up by something tickling your neck and well, something poking your ass too.

"Julie?" You whispered but she didn't respond. You felt her heavy breath against your neck and you tightened your thighs against each other, gulping. You held your phone enough to see her reflection, she was asleep. "Cute" You said to yourself, biting your lip when her hard cock pressed harder against you.

Slowly, you turned around.

She was frowning hard, her fangs showing a bit. You could feel how tense she was and it made you feel sorry for her. You pushed yourself up a bit, reaching for that frown and kissing it, inhaling her scent. Still asleep, her hand reached for your waist and her strong arms pulled you closer to her body, making you inevitably straddle her waist.

You felt the need to grind against her hard cock but you held yourself because of her uncousciousness. You kissed her cheek, nudging against it and finally she opened her eyes, taking a deep breath when she looked down to your thighs on each side of her body.

"Please, let me help" You said. Her frown soon turned into an obscene demeanor, her gaze sharp and attentive.

You sat down on her waist and straightened your back, pulling off your shirt to show her your bare chest, since you slept with no bra on. You did the same to Julie, your breath hitching as she bucked her hips up, her hands firmly holding you to do it again and you soflty moaned, falling foward and completely at her mercy.

You brushed your nose against hers and she smiled, her fangs shining in the morning light.

"I'll make love to you" You said caressing her face, noticing her expression. "Tell me if you need to stop, I-" But she interrupted you with a kiss.

She knew what she was doing, her tongue swirling against yours felt divine. Fuck, maybe she was better at this than you.

She sat down with you on her lap, quickly discarding your shorts and her boxer briefs, her erect cock lightly slapping her own abs when she did so. It looked big and veiny and well, about to burst.

You knew she needed this and you wanted to take it slow because you wanted to truly make love to her but she was eager and neglected for so long, you couldn't wait any longer. You teased your own entrance with her thick cock and she growled, closing her eyes.

"Shh, it's ok" You cooed, slowly sinking on her.

"Fuck" Julie said, her eyes literally going from their normal brown to pitch black. You felt like she was going to rip you apart but it felt so good you couldn't hold yourself any longer.

Rolling your hips against hers, you felt how deep it was in your womb, the pleasure overshadowing the pain.

She attached her mouth to one of your nipples, slightly scratching it and you hugged her shoulders, moaning loudly. You felt your pussy clench around her and she grabbed your hips to bounce you up and down.

"Mine" She said, pushing you to lie on your back as she covered your body with hers in a mating press.

"Julie, fuck" You closed your eyes as she licked your lips, her tongue exploring yours. Her thrusts felt animalistic and heavy and you felt yourself melt when she hugged your body against hers, her face going to the crook of your neck to bite and suck there.

The thing is: Julie wasn't designed to stop. Not when she felt her load about to explode inside of you. It was her instinct and you knew that. You let her.

"Gonna breed you full" She thrusted hard, knocking the wind out of you. Her moans felt like music; Sinful, delicious. The wet sounds louder and louder because of how much cum she put inside of you as you came on her thick lenght.

You felt spent but not her.

She threw you around like a rag doll, pulling you to put your ass up and face down. You whined when she entered you again, squeezing your hips against hers.

"God" It was all you managed to say. "Julie, slow down baby" You tried to say but it wasn't loud enough due to her moans and the loud skin slapping sounds you two were producing.

You could feel her adoring every bit of your skin, squeezing and scratching to mark you, her cock throbbing.

"you feel so good" She slowed her thrusts just a tiny bit, losing that hard pace once ovesrtimulation hit her. You took that opportunity to push your upper body up to stay against hers, moving your hips as she embraced you, her right hand guiding your hips against hers as she kept ramming inside of you, slipping her cock all the way out and then back in, moaning for you.

"julie is gonna cum again" She said, biting your shoulder and closing her eyes, going full stop so her cock would spurt cum again and again against your walls.

You two were left panting, embraced. When she pulled out you felt her heavy cum oozing out of you, thicker than usual because of how many months she spent without fucking anyone.

You turned around to kiss her, straddling her hips but avoiding contact with her overstimulated and semi hard cock.

"Am I forgiven, kitty?" You asked and she purred, denying. "Oh, no?" You bit your lip and she kissed you again.

"It's gonna take more for julie to forgive you" She cutely said and you nodded.

"Okay baby, let me keep making up to you then..." You lowered your lips to her perky tits, licking it and she caressed your hair, purring loudly.

You definitely wouldn't mind making it up to her over and over again...

#gxg smut #julie kiss of life #julie smut #kiof smut #julie kiof #julie han #kitty! julie #kiof hard hours

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leoascendente · 2 years ago

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PAC / Details about the love of your life 💕

I'm back my lovesss! 💖 I'm late with this pac as always but I have to be a responsible adult too. As always with love spreads I try to write with no gender, I always talk about dominant energy of your FS. Take a cup of tea cause this is a long spread

Decks I used: Enchanted love tarot, dark wood tarot, astrodices, romance angels oracle, love oracle cards, goddess guidance oracle and the hidden truth oracle.

Take a deep breath and choose the pile you feel more drawn to, you can choose more than 1 if you feel it, maybe you have more messages in more piles. Take always what resonates and leave the rest

For private readings click here

I love you 🥰

Pile 1:

Your FS in the relationship:

(Cards: Express your love, true love/ honeymoon)

Omg pile 1 your fs is going to love you so so much you will never doubt their feelings! They will want to make sure you know how important you are for them in every moment, your FS is very loving and caring. The whole spread repeats travel and movement, so you may live in very distanced places from the other or you may travel to new places together to spend quality time by eachother's side, in another sense it could mean that your fs will make you feel like you live in an endless honeymoon. Their love language is majorly about quality time together and words of affirmation, they might have a talent with words and they write letters to you very often, their voice has something special too. I see an specific situation of someone leaving post it everywhere with cute quotes on them telling you how much they love you and things like that. From the very first moment you meet both of you will feel something special like you are the kind of person they've been yearning for and viceversa, if you are an intuitive person somehow you'll know it's them, the feeling when you meet and spend time with them won't be a spark shining within, it's a thunder like no other. They'll probably show their love and interest in you pretty fast, they will be straight forward with you letting you know they want to make you part of their life and include you in their plans. I see clearly that good humor and laugh will be present in all your meetings, your fs loves your smiles and hear you laugh so surely they will be joking all around just to rip an smile of your face.

Their personality and traits:

(Cards: 10 of roses; princess of shells; 6 of gems; king of roses // Astrodices: Sagittarius; north node; 2nd house)

Mmmmmm this person is really sexy, they are very physically attractive and has nice facial features, probably the kind that catches everybody's eye when they walk in a room, they also has a confident body language. I feel they are very sexually active people or has a high libido but prefers to be generous with their partner in bed over focusing on their own pleasure, so they will make sure you are having a good time with them everytime you have intimacy, there will be a lot of sexual chemistry and tension between you two, you FS will like to tease you because they will feel so so attracted to you like you had a magnet just for them, they will make you touch the stars, babe! (my scorpio lilith feels very happy for you right now 😏 ). I see your person has a generous and humble nature, they laugh a lot and loves to cuddle, they are very hardworking so they can provide their beloved ones and live a comfortable life, they really enjoy giving to others because generosity is always repeating in my head while I channel for you. Very masculine energy but a little imbalanced because they like to over work, they love their work and that's why they dedicate so much attention to it, it's probably because they are following their true passion or their job is a dream come true, their job might also involve traveling. They are very successful at their job or studies as well even though they want more, not just gor ambition but for the chamce to learn more and improve their skills because they know their true potential. They are well respected and looks like someone nice and kind with everybody, they have a very warm energy even though they can look intimidating (this might be because of their physical appearance because I keep hearing about the "big boy" tiktok trend), do you know this astrology pictures that says looks like they could kill you on the outside, is a cinnamon roll on the inside, well, this is probably the best way to describe your fs. They like to make a safe space for you to feel comfortable, your person enjoys so much more to give than to receive in every aspect of their life, they will value a lot the time you spend with them and will see you as their equal, someone they can open up and show their vulnerable side so they will expect the same trust from you. They are passionate and follow their heart in everything they do, even if that means making mistakes they are willing to learn and grow, they are also very wise like the counselor of their family or group of friends, they surely gives great advices.

You two were meant to find eachother and create a life together, this is a major connection, the love of a lifetime for sure! For some, there might be an age gap between you two but you will fit at emotional level, you probably will share the same view of the future and both perspectives fit perfectly, you two will be best friends, partners in crime and the love of eachother's life, very supportive of eachother. Your FS is really funny and have a very chill energy, the kind that ends up being the center of attention without trying, they will make you laugh until your tummy hurts, if you go out with more people your person will keep always close to you making everybody knows that you are with them, a little possesive but it's because they want to protect what they love and they will love you so much, their body language is very protective over you. I see the sun and the moon in my head so I feel that you two will be opposite but at the same time very similar, your person feels like the sun with their warm energy but from your side I feel the moon with the calmer and peaceful energy, you might also be in tune with your intuition or your psychic gifts, this will be a very balanced relationship.

Conflictive traits:

(Cards: 4 of swords; king of pentacles; wheel of fortune rev / queen of cups)

Well, your person might give too much importance to money and resources and that keeps them always wanting to earn more and never rest, they might value themselves because of the money they gain or their productivity at work, for some I see that your person is struggling with a goal they really desire but never come true and that keeps them in a state of self judgement. They are aware of their negative traits and knows that some things needs to chage to feel better within themselves but this takes a lot of effort to them and might avoid it by overworking, work might be also a way of escapism because this insatisfaction is about themselves not their work development, maybe it's something about feeling respected by the rest of the world. They realize that money isn't everything in life but this trait may come from their childhood and they are just trying to cope and deal with it the best they can, at least they are conscious about it and want to solve it even if they don't have the tools right now to do it. Looks like they are in a conflictive cycle where they have seen a repetitive pattern, something like a bad habit in their life that they want to chage somehow, but change seems difficult for them. I see your person is trying to get answers of some kind to their inner conflicts, I see them asking why some things had to happen to them and maybe realizing they created some of the storms they had to face in life. In my opinion, this is very healthy for them, I mean, taking responsabilities for our actions is pretty mature, they want to become a better person for when they know you and for their wellbeing, for some I see even some kind of spiritual awakening or them trying any kind of therapy.

How they will view you in the relationship:

(Cards: paradise; passion/ kisses)

Their other half they didn't know was missing

Ahem... Just read the cards and let your imagination fly a little. For your FS, you are going to be the one and only they've been looking for their whole life, they are going to see you as the answer to their prayers and loneliness, their perfect match, that'swhy they are not going to hesitate when they know you. You are going to help them somehow to deal with things that are hard for them and viceversa, there will be a lot of trust to open up but just with eachother (I heard something about internal jokes between both too). You two are a power couple, always lifting eachother and helping to become the better version of yourselves, cheering eachother's victories and giving comfort on the defeats. You will want to build a life together as partners respecting the other's free will, there's a lot of understanding, partnership and respect from this pile. Congrats pile 1, this is a very healthy love story and I feel you needed this kind of relationship to gain back the hope in love. Also, expect a lot of passion and intimacy.

Advice from the Goddesses:

(Cards: Sekhmet, be strong/ Green Tara, start delegating)

I feel you've been waiting and longing your person a really long time, you've also commited to work on yourself meanwhile but there's a little feeling of exasperation because you have done all that's needed to attract them without forcing any situation, but I know... patience also has its limit and you might be feeling like they are going to take too much time to come into your life. Sekhmet reminds you to not loose hope, divine things come in divine timing and the kind of love you crave for is very lighthearted and pure one so it's normal it's taking the a little more time. Green Tara tells you to be more in touch with your spirituality, your guides want you to speak to them so they can know how you want them to help you, don't feel bad about asking for your FS because your guides want you to reach all your goals, if a romantic relationship is one of your goals don't be scared to ask for it too.

Extra messages:

Twin flames journey; soul mission; earth rising; beach or places with water bodies; success; gold jewelry; white butterflies and dragonflies; someone famous or fame in general, fire signs; until I found you-stephen sanchez; begin again- taylor swift

Pile 2:

Your FS in the relationship:

(Cards: worth waiting for; you deserve love; wedding)

Your FS is a very straight forward but methodical person, when they want something they do everything at their hand to get it, calculating every step of the road to their goals. Despite of your FS personality, I see that you will make them work hard to prove they are worthy of your time and energy, and babe, they are going to be above your expectations. Your person will be very patient in the process of reaching your heart, they know you are worthy of the effort and the wait so they don't mind because for them it's only you and nobody else. Your person is super polite and have very good manners, if it's a male they are truly a gentleman. They might have a more traditional perspective of life but this will make them want to commit with you sooner and don't waste any moment, probably they will be ready for a formal relationship before you are. But anyway, this person will respect your times until you are ready for moving forward but for them, they will want everything with you after knowing you, not just by the physical but also your personality. This relationship will end up in marriage if you are up to it but if not this will be a very commited relationship, you will only have eyes for eachother, they have a vibe like worshipping you tbh.

For some there's the message that your FS might take a little time to arrive in your life, it might be a proof of patience for you but it will be worthy. You fs will enter in your life after a time of healing yourself, I hear that the most important lesson for you is to put yourself first and love you deeply because the love you give to yourself is the love you are going to attract, make sure it's quality love because that's the kind of love you deserve. Treat yourself like the god/goddess you are because that'sthe way your fs will treat you. Idk why but for some I feel that you already know who your person is, you are just focusing on what you have to do for yourself meanwhile.

Their personality and traits:

(Cards: High priestess; the lovers; the devil; queen of roses; the chariot/ Astrodices: Capricorn; mercury; 5th house)

OMGGGG I wish this pile was for me!😂 This energy feels masculine (but you know it's neutral gender) but darnnnnn this person is a gentleman in every sense of the word, so respectful and so polite, they will treat you like their muse and the source of their inspiration. When this person falls in love they do it hard and forever, they might be a little possesive or obsessive about you but it's because somehow you know how to lift them up in a way nobody else can and they have never experienced what they feel for you. There's a lot of attraction between you two but your person will be amazed by you, I see you a little more cold and your person trying to get closer to you everytime they can, maybe at first you reject them even though you'll feel very attracted to them but this might have to be with you because you prefer to take your time to really know them instead of jumping blindly into the unknown. They will love you deeply because that's their way of loving but they will also love to (i'm having a really hard time to avoid this been sexual but... your person is ahem... very horny for you) you have something that drives your person crazy for you, they might tell you that you have a spell on them very often. They are someone really mature even though they can be a young person, they like to take responsability of their life, I feel a traditional vibe from them so they might like to take the provider role in the relationship, they are very into creating a family with their dream partner and this is you. Their love language is mostly material and physical touch, after you let them get close they will never get tired of touching and hugging you, everything you ask for they will put it in your hands, they want to fulfill all your desires but also make your life so much easier and confortable, they also have a foresight eye to the things you might need and they'll put it in your hands even before you tell them. They are wealthy people and probably it shows easily by the way they dress, they might like brand clothes or wears any kind of expensive jewelry, I hear something about perfume so they surely will smell like heaven, they have an intimidating cold look on the outside wkth the rest of the world but they will be such a teddy bear with you showing you a part of themselves they keep hidden because they feel safe with you, they will want to cuddle and hug you always, very into pda too.

Conflictive traits:

(Cards: king of wands; 7of pentacles rev / 8 of cups)

They are not the sentimental type of person, they are more into the logic of things and processing situations through the lens of intellect. They are very intelligent but can also seem cold and dittached at first, but let me tell you, althought their coldness they are easily hurt and they've been very damaged in their past, they just deal with their pain in silence so they might demand some alone time to clear their mind when they have an stressful situation. Even if they don't show their emotions openly, they will tell you about what's going on in their mind for you to understand them better, they will feel comfortable enough with you to open up and tell you about what's going on their mind, they do this with you because they will really appreciate and value your opinion and advice, so they will want to know you point of view about things. They might deal with loneliness and feeling misunderstood by people, they don't seem the extrovert kind even though they have good social skills but mainly when it comes to their work not so much in social situations, or it could mean as well that their job position is something that makes them feel more confident to deal with other people, power and authority is something important for your person to feel safe. They are a little hopeless about their current life and they are just going with the flow waiting for things to get better, this is mostly with their personal life and close relationships. They are not violent at all but they have an strong temper, that's why they need space when angry to avoid saying things they regret later. For some, your fs might have some kind of neurodivergency.

How they will view you:

(Cards: talking; lightning / wedding rings)

Their hope back in life

They'll see you as their divine counterpart, like heaven has put you in their way for some reason, they will want to talk with you for days if they could, your mind and intellect is something that will have them in awe. If you are into spirituality they will also fall in love with you for this, like you give the hope in life they could be missing because of their terrenal and logical mind. You will shake their heart and mind and open to them a whole new world of opportunities. You give them the safe place they were needing and maybe that's the reason why they will have that possesive attitude (I wrote about possesiveness here instead on their difficult traits because I don't feel it as negative but more like a child scared of loosing something they really appreciate, probably has abandonment issues or as I said, some kind of neurodivergency). They will make you know clearly that you are the love of their life and wants to spend all their days with you, they will talk about commitment soon and for some they will tell you they want to marry you soon too.

Advice from the Goddesses:

(Cards: Oonahg, easy does it / Sehkmet, be strong)

You might be going through a rough time in your life, this may be a turbulent period but you know that's making you develop new skills and polish the ones you already have. Growth and evolution is important for you now, attending yourself and your deepest needs to build the life you want to live. Focus on creating the life you want besides romance, analyze the future you want for yourself exclusively and the goals you want to achieve, I feel this mostly related to your career so try to connect with your ambitions in this aspect and start building that dream life you deserve. Your person will come in the perfect moment, meanwhile make sure you release anything no longer serving your purpose.

Extra messages:

Unchained melody- elvis presley; rule the wold- take that; 1331; 333; something great will happen in May; repeated numbers are major signs so look for their meaning; moths or bats, nocturnal creatures; purple and crimson.

Pile 3:

Your FS in the relationship:

(Cards: getting to know eachother; religious factors / Calling in your soulmate)

If you are working with visualization, manifesting or attraction law be very specific with your desires about love because you definetely manifested your fs. This relationship will be progressively growing at the time you know better eachother, through that time you'll realize that they are your person but at first, I see that you'll start up as friends and then everything will flow and you'll se how this person has everything you've been asking for in a partner and has all the traits you wanted to attract. You two will fit like puzzle pieces, balance is the word that repeats in my mind when I channel, if you resonate with twin flame journey this person for sure will be your twin flame. They are just made for you and you for them, the connection you two will share will feel magical for both and anyone who knows you, like the heaven has just opened up for you two when you spend time together and everybody can see how you were meant for eachother. Your fs would do anything for you and your happiness and you would do it for them too, you are eachothers' best friend, there's complicity and trust above all in your relationship. For some you might already know your person but right now is not an interest of yours, maybe you have seen eachother but haven't talked yet, is someone that if you see them you know about their existence but is not someone close to you, maybe a friend of a friend or an school classmate you forgot a long time ago.

Their personality and traits:

(Cards: the star rev, the empress, the magician, princess of roses, 2 of wings / astrodices: libra, saturn, 10th house)

You FS has big boss vibes, they surely are very successful in their career or comes from a wealthy enviroment, it probably shows because they have a sofisticated and elegant look, they are very nice and well liked by the people who knows them. I hear something about family bussiness so they might work with their family or has a high position in their family circle, their job might be related to laws or arts, they could be interested in these themes too. They are very charming and seductive, their appearence is also very attractive and likes to take care of themselves and their looks, they probably have many admirers but your FS seems to reject every option by the fear of being used for what they have, your fs is looking for deep conections but is a little scared about not being reciprocated in their feelings or face dishonest people. They are very focused on their work and succeding on their field, they want to be valued and recognized because of their good skills, they are so goal oriented that they might spend a lot of time alone, for some is self imposed isolation. If this drive is not related to their career can mean that your fs is currently working on themselves, their growth and evolution in a more psychological way. They probably had a heavy dissapointment in their life that made them focus on what they could do for themselves, they have been improving themselves and evolving to become their best version, they are healing their inner self and solving emotional issues. They are very independent people, they prefer to invest their energies into something useful, I don't see they are too social people they look like they love their own company and doing things for themselves, they surely have more fun watching a sunset on the beach than going to parties.

You FS will have very romantic gestures when they know you, they like to do things in the big way for you, they want to leave a good impression on you from the first moment, they will want you to like them and they cam seem a little clumsy because they are nervous. For some, the first stages of your relationship there could be some distance, maybe your person lives far from you or they have to travel often, maybe their job requires big amounts of time. Anyway, everytime you spend time together it will feel so intimate and unique, it will be only you two like the world around you has just turned off. Theres a lot of romance but in a peaceful energy, like you could read eachother's mind so you could stay in silence for hours staring and would feel great because you are together and you understand eachother. Communication is the major love language of your person, for them is important to share an intellectual connection and feel safe enough to express their opinions.

In some cases I see that there will be some oppositors to your relationship, so be careful of the people you ask for advice because there's one that doesn't enjoy your happiness.

Difficult traits:

(Cards: queen of wands rev, the sun, 3 of swords rev/ the temperance)

Don't expect them to be a super spontaneous person, if you are into adventures and going out of the routine you might be the one in charge of those kind of plans because they are more into more relaxed plans. Your person seem to reject their oportunities of having fun, it feels like they don't think they are ready to deal with other humans or social interactions, they prefer their solitude for the peace and balance it gives them, but that can turn into hermit mode too. They deal with self steem issues and weak boundaries, that made them had heavy heart breaks in their past so they can be suspicious of other people's intentions, they have a hard time trusting. They jump from sorrow and despair to hope and tears of joy, probably has a hard time making important decitions for their personal life. Anyway your person is working on inner personal issues that were holding them back, mostly related to their indecisiveness or constant doubts. I saw the image of someone praying with tattoos on their back, it's a familiar image but I have no idea where I've seen it, so that's a confirmation that you have already met your fs in the 3d but don't know who they are right now. Also the thing about praying combined with temperance is interesting, they are surely working on theirselves and healing inner wounds, they are very close to spirituality somehow, this also could mean that they have a close connection with their guides or their guides are very protective of them. They avoid conflict and arguments to avoid hurting others but forget about the things that hurt them, in general they are very reliable people but they tend to daydream a lot and get lost in their delusions sometimes.

How they'll view you:

(Cards: separation, the dragonfly, healing heart)

Their peace of soul

The time you spend apart will be very heavy to deal with for your FS, they will miss you a lot and will have to deal with some emotional issues they didn't know they had related to romantic relationships and the way they face it. Distance will also make them realize that you are trustworthy and they can just relax and stop worrying, they'll see their own wounds instead of projecting them into you, and honestly, that's such a healthy behavior from them, I see they are very emotinally intelligent and mature. I feel you are a very honest and straight forward person when it comes to your opinions, you are open about your thoughts and feelings and even more when it comes to your fs and your relationship, this trait about you will make them feel a lot more comfortable because they see you don't wear any mask and they are used to people that wears them all the time, they will see they can trust you and that's very important for them. Distance will also be very healing for you, giving you the time and space needed to fully trust and know how your person is too, you two will be devoted to eachother so there won't be place for doubts or worries. This relationship might be a little slow to formalize but it feels so so healthy and emotionally mature from both of you .

Advice from the Goddesses:

(Cards: Sige, quiet time; Sedna, infinite supply)

Take more time to rest, my love, you have been dealing with a lot of draining situations and your mind, soul and body are needing a little break from responsabilities. Take also a few minutes to meditate and tune with your inner voice, slow down the rythm for a while because you will thank it later. If money has been an issue for you lately, you can stop worrying, you will have the enough resources, maybe not for all that you want but your needs will be all fullfilled. Thank also the little basic needs you have supplied like a roof over your head, warm blankets to keep away the cold, food to nurture your body... you'll start realizing how abundant and blessed you are, gratitude is the best key to feeling satisfied with our lives meanwhile what we want arrives.

Extra messages:

Here with me- d4vid; red roses; wear warm colors more often; solar plexus chakra; working out routine, 1221; 777; 444; healing limitating beliefs; when we were young- adele

Pile 4:

Your FS in the relationship:

(Cards: free yourself; attraction/ children)

Your fs will fall in love with your true self, you can be fully yourself with them without feeling judged or misunderstood, they will accept and honor even the things you don't like about you, they want to see you shine and they will be willing to ignite the spark within you. Your person is really nice and funny, they will always try to lift you up and your mood, they'll make you believe that no matter what happens they will always be by your side, somehow they make you feel like the world is a beautiful place and you came here to have fun and not fear. They'll take out your inner child to play with theirs and do together all the things you wanted to do as kids and never did, you'll heal eachother without even knowing. Your fs will make you feel like you are home and you'll make them feel the same way, they want to charm you and make you know they are into you above the physical, they want you to trust them and they will work to show you they are trustworthy. I see they see you as a mystery, they'll feel so attracted to you that they will want to dig more and know you better, they will always want to know more about you and never get tired of it, for them there's always something new and amazing about you they want to discover. Children is something important, maybe because any of you already have kids or maybe you know eachother since childhood.

Their personality and traits:

(Cards: 7 of shells rev; the magician; ace of wings; ace of roses; the world/ Astrodices: aquarius; the sun; 2nd house)

There are so many number 1 in your spread and I'm writing this at 11:01. Your fs has leader personality but they have their own way of doing things, they might look a little outcast when you look from the outside but they have all their pieces together and knows exactly what they want and what they are doing, even if it's not what people expect from them. They could be a public figure or being in the public eye often, they are also very creative so their job might involve some fame, idk what it is but they can have an artistic career like music or photography, it will be different for all of you. They look like they get along well with everybody and people like them at the moment they know your fs, maybe that's why they'll be chasing you so much, because you don't get easilly impressed by their charms but they seem focused into conquering you (with good intentions, ovbiously) . Your fs is very nice and has an amazing sense of humor, I see people tend to follow them easily because of their confident attitude but they look very individualistic and independent, anyway, they know their charms and how to make use of them. They are very charismatic people but a free spirit, they won't settle for less they know they deserve when it comes to other people's demands, they will respect an opinion but at the end they will do what the heart tells them in the moment.

They have very good social skills and are also very intelligent people, they have an smart and witty sense of humor, they are surely sharp with words and will try to rip a smile of your face everytime they can. Probably they are very physically attractive too, to be specific there's something special about their smile, so they are used to get always what they want, I feel your fs have been a player in their past or they have a flirty way to talk. They have a rebel and confident personality but they are also sttuborn as hell when it comes to what they want, they are also very optimistic about life even if their hopes seems delusional, they have very big goals for their life and are completely focused into achieving it. They want to have an epic life, to live plenty without regreting about what they didn't do, they prefer to aks for forgiveness than for permission even if sounds risky, life is their canvas and their are willing to make a work of art. They want to do something great and be remembered for that, they want to leave a nice print of their existence in the world, if they are going to dream they make sure it's a big dream. They really don't care about what people say or think about them, they are good with themselves and that's enough.

Difficult traits:

(Cards: strength, ace of wands, 8 of pentacles/ queen of swords)

They are the kind of people that wants to win at all cost, competitive and a little cold hearted when it comes to win the prize, they want what they want and hardly accept a no as answer, they are also sttuborn and maybe a little childish when things don't go their way. Maybe it's for some kind of compelx within them but they are really prideful in the good and the bad way, pride for sure is something your person should work on because it might lead them to take some bad decitions. They seem like the kind of actions first and thinking later, they tend to overthink their mistakes and use their work as a way of escape from their problems. They are ambitious to extremes, mostly when it comes with their career and future and not for money, it's for the power it gives them and maybe a little to slap people who understimate them, again related to pride. Honestly, they look like the villain everybody likes, a rebel with a cause.

How they'll view you:

(Cards: the phoenix, I like you, girl talk/ the sword and the rose)

Their reason to believe in magic

You know this meme of homer simpson slowly hiding into a bush?? Well, I had that image in my mind all time while I was writting this. I feel at first you won't be into your fs at all and that rejection is what's going to make your fs chase after you, they might not be used to being rejected, but for you they probably look a little cringy on your first interactions, or at least, you are going to percieve them this way. This is very like enemies to lovers energy tbh, I feel that you both will realize how much you care about eachother after a while, friends will have a lot to do with this realization. Your fs wil be very protective and defensive with you, also you with them, people better treat you respectfully or your fs will jump over them to protect your honor and wellbeing. Your group of friends will be important, for many of you I see you share the same group and they will realize before you two that maybe that rejection you were feeling is turning into attraction, even if you don't want to admit this connection you two will develop you know denial is a river in Egypt and at the end you will stop pushing them away and accepting your feelings because there's an indeniable, true and strong connection between both

Your fs will be the one to make the first step into something more, making you know they are really interested into create a formal relationship with you. They like you and will show it purposely by teasing you and create a more intimate bond outside your group of friends, to make you see they have deep and true feelings for you. I see you have really good friends that love you deeply and wants to see you happy, don't hesitate to ask them their opinion about the situation because they will give you a great guidance through the process.

Advice from the Goddesses:

(Cards: Guinevere, true love/ Abundantia, prosperity)

Oooh this message is so lovely 🤭. Your fs is the one you will build an empire of success with, I see two people putting bricks together to build a castle where they'll live happily. How can I turn into words what cards say so clearly? Don't worry about nothing, just enjoy your life because you are destined to have the greatest love story of all times, you are going to be very happy but also very wealthy, money won't be a problem anymore. Your fs and you could build up a bussiness together that will bring you both a lot of success and wealth in the future, so be thankful for what you have now because it will only become more and better.

Extra messages:

Chocolate or candy; 1010; 111; carry an amethyst with you; upcoming blessings; angelic guidance; wings tattoo?; lavender scent; 3rd eye chakra; lucky girl syndrome; I love you- billie eilish; life of the party- shawn mendes.

#witchblr #leoascendente #divination witch #tarot #tarotblr #pick a pile #tarotonline #pac reading #pick a card #pac tarot #soulmate #love reading #love tarot spread #tarot spread #tarotcommunity

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magistralucis · 8 months ago

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@love-and-pigeons!

#me and petya coming your way to make you soup 🍲😌💖#this would heal all wounds at least for a while i'm sure #*hugs hugs hugs*#happy sunday beloved please take good care and be well today #love you lots 💖💖💖💖💖

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ahmadturk-family · 1 month ago

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Update: October 11, 2024

🌟 Help Save My Beloved Kitty, Lisa 🌟

Meet **Lisa** 🐾, my sweet and spirited kitty who has brought endless love and joy into my life. 💖 With her playful purrs and gentle headbutts, she’s been my constant companion, brightening even the darkest days. Right now, however, my heart is heavy as she’s facing a serious health crisis. 😿

Before:

After:

We’re in urgent need of medical treatment to save her life, and I’m reaching out to you for help. Please consider donating to support Lisa’s care here: [PayPal Donation Link] 🙏💙

Watching her struggle is heartbreaking 💔, and I know there’s a chance we can turn this around together. Even the smallest contribution can create a ripple effect of hope and healing for her. Your support means everything right now. 🌈

If donating isn’t an option for you, I’d be so grateful if you could share this post 🐾. Spreading the word is just as powerful, and every share brings us closer to saving Lisa. Let’s unite our hearts to give her the fighting chance she deserves! 🐱💕

Your kindness and compassion can help restore Lisa’s spirit and bring her back to her playful, loving self. Thank you from the depths of my heart for considering helping us. Together, we can make a difference! 💖

#SaveLisa #CatLovers #DonateForLisa #HopeForLisa

---

A Personal Note from Me ❤️

Hi everyone,

I hope this message finds you well. I’m reaching out during a difficult time for my beloved cat, Lisa. My family and I are currently in Gaza, surrounded by turmoil, and Lisa has fallen gravely ill. She desperately needs medical attention to survive. I’ve shared her story on Blue Sky, and I’m hoping to raise awareness and funds for her urgent care.

🕊️

Here’s the link to my Blue Sky post: https://bsky.app/profile/ahmadturk.bsky.social/post/3l6abb5c7xf27

Please consider donating here to help Lisa: https://www.paypal.com/donate/?hosted_button_id=ZQ2ACNKMG5KP2

Link GFM: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-aseel-and-family-leave-gaza-before-its-too-late

Do you know anyone who might be willing to help cats in need? The veterinary costs for Lisa’s treatment are significant, especially amidst the challenges we face here. While we’ve set up a GoFundMe page, it will take time to process, and we’re worried about securing funds quickly enough for her core

LINK GFM OR LINK PAYPAL 🔗🕊️🥹🙏🏻

To expedite this process, we’ve created a PayPal link to raise the funds more swiftly. Every contribution, no matter how small, can bring us closer to ensuring Lisa receives the treatment she urgently needs.

Thank you for your kindness and support. Your generosity truly means the world to both me and Lisa.

With heartfelt appreciation

Ahmad Al-Turk

__________________________

vetted by @gazavetters , my number verified on the list is ( #101)

@acepumpkinpatrick (vetted).

@a-captions-blog (vetted).

@funds4gaza (vetted).

@risoria (vetted).

@ibtisams (vetted).

@tododeku-or-bust (vetted).

@aleciosun (vetted).

@gaza-evacuation-funds (vetted).

@nabulsi (vetted).

@el-shab-hussein (vetted).

@gazavetters (vetted).

Everyone who sees us or hears about us in Gaza, I hope that you will be with us, support us and help us. Share our story with us, write it down, and don't forget us in your prayers.🥹💙

Verified by: @90-ghost @sar-soor @vakarians-babe @sayruq @raelyn-dreams @plomegranate @palipunk @self-hating-zionist @star-and-space-ace @rainbowywitch @nabulsi @sayruq @palestinegenocide @shellofashadow @revcuse @northgazaupdates2 @palestine-info-uncensored @fairuzfakhira @longlivepalestina @self-hating-zionist @thenewgothicromance @risoria @palipunk @palestine @intersectionalpraxis @falling-from-a-star @sealuai @malcriaada @mangocheesecakes @farcillesbian @still--getting--there @apsswan @star-and-space-ace @rainbowywitch @oursapphirestars @annoyingloudmicrowavecultist @boyvandal-blog @the-bastard-king @13ag21k

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flan-tasma · 5 months ago

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He's a gentle lover

💖~ It was just Diluc, but then everyone fell into the same hole. I'm not complaining about that btw.

I have just finished a homework assignment of almost forty pages and my hand is hurting, my very strong and beloved menthol has carried me through the whole week.

Warning: Smut, not very dirty, lovely I guess idk(?, Fem!Reader maybe | English is not my native language, so if I have made any mistakes in the translation, I am open to corrections | Content in spanish and english!

Spanish:

Él era tierno, gentil. Con sus manos que te brindan calor con cada caricia, cuando levanta tu mentón para que lo veas y le permitas besarte. Siempre es tan gentil, un amante cuidadoso que te desviste con lentitud y traza tu piel con sus dedos.

Le gusta cuando no lleva guantes, pues sus manos toscas y rasguñadas te sostienen con firmeza y confianza, sabiendo cuál es el curso adecuado para que suspires contra sus labios.

Adora besar tu cuello, chupando y lamiendo la carne hasta que llega a tu escote y muerde, siempre buscando tus ojos para saber que te gusta lo que hace.

Jadea cuando ve que arrugas las sábanas, hundiendo tu cabeza contra la almohada con los ojos cerrados y cristalinos. Él bebe la sal y el azúcar de tu imagen, de tu piel y se emborracha hasta que sólo puedes chillar cuando se hunde en tu interior, descansando después de haberte arruinado lo suficiente.

No necesitas pensar, no necesitas meditar, ni elegir. Él lo hará por ti, él te cuidará con la mayor dulzura posible que se le resbala de la garganta mientras te mira a los ojos, esperando que tú también lo veas y que lo ames de la misma forma que él te ama.

No necesita que lo montes o que lo dejes follarte la boca, eso puede quedar para otra ocasión. Solo míralo con la misma adoración, sostén su rostro mientras te hace el amor lentamente y acaricia tus tetas y tus hombros, déjale escuchar tus gemidos como susurros en sus oídos. Él quiere ser egoísta contigo, guardarte para que nadie más que él pueda verte de esta manera, sollozando y llamando su nombre, mientras que él te responde con ternura y te hace suspirar.

No quiere que nadie se robe tu figura, ni la luna ni las estrellas que se asoman por la ventana. Solo quiere retenerte para él, hoy y siempre, así que déjalo hacerte el amor en la oscuridad, solo compartiendo su unión por las pocas velas que los alumbran y les reflejan los ojos cuando llaman al otro.

Diluc, Zhongli, Xiao, Baizhu, Kazuha, Tighnari, Alhaitham, Neuvillette.

English:

He was tender, gentle. With his hands that give you warmth with each caress, when he lifts your chin so you can see it and allow him to kiss you. He is always so gentle, a careful lover who undresses you slowly, tracing your skin with his fingers.

He likes it when he doesn't wear gloves, because his rough, scratched hands hold you firmly and confidently, knowing the right way for you to sigh against his lips.

He loves kissing your neck, sucking and licking the flesh until he reaches your cleavage and bites, always searching your eyes to know you like what he is doing.

He gasps when he sees you crumpling the sheets, burying your head back in the pillow with your eyes closed and glassy. He drinks the salt and sugar from your image, from your skin, getting drunk until he can only scream as he sinks into you, resting when he has ruined you enough.

You don't have to think, you don't have to meditate, you don't have to choose. He will do it for you, he will take care of you with the greatest possible sweetness that slips from his throat as he looks into your eyes, hoping that you see it too and that you love him as much as he loves you.

He doesn't need you to ride him or let him fuck your mouth, that can be left for another time. Just look at him with the same adoration, hold his face while he slowly makes love to you, caressing your tits and shoulders, letting him hear your moans as whispers in his ears. He wants to be selfish with you, to hold you so that no one but him can see you like this, sobbing and calling out his name as he responds tenderly and makes you sigh.

He doesn't want anyone to steal your shape, or the moon, or the stars that look out the window. He just wants to keep you for himself, today and always, so let him make love to you in the dark, sharing your union only with the few candles that illuminate you and reflect your eyes when you call the other.

Diluc, Zhongli, Xiao, Baizhu, Kazuha, Tighnari, Alhaitham, Neuvillette.

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lizzy06 · 4 months ago

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Oikawa Tooru x Reader Fic Recs!! (Tumblr/AO3/Wattpad)

Haikyuu! Fic Rec Masterlist

Aoba Johsai Fic Rec Masterlist

pinch ✨✨by krystallisert (oneshot, soulmate au, fluff, humor) The ringing stops, and you're vaguely aware that you've been hit in the face by a volleyball. In another gym, at another school, a boy winces in sudden, unprovoked pain. "Oi, Oikawa! You're bleeding!"[COMPLETED]

A married life by @creepychan (oneshot, pregnant reader, angst) <I don't wanna spoil this series but its worth it😜😜>

Your Smart Ideas ✨ by @mimi-cee-hq (oneshot, fluff) Oikawa didn’t want you to call his sister Nee-san. So you had a solution.[COMPLETED]

pov:he's a racer and you are his finish line ✨✨💖by @saintobio (angst, fluff, street racer au, <reader had an abusive relationship with atsumu>)driven by the thrill of illegal street racing, an esteemed racer from Miyagi shows up and makes a tough bet against your toxic boyfriend in exchange for you. [COMPLETED] <this suna fic is connected to this fic as a spin off/ pt.2 kinda thing>

Do You Feel What I Do✨✨ by @seokiloquy (oneshot, soulmate au , fluff)where you feel bursts of pain/emotion from your soulmate. When they both realize they are soulmates (they don’t have to physically be together, it’s when both just know they are), each other’s name gets written on their wrist and the pain/emotion bursts lessen[COMPLETED]

How Do You Say…? by @seokiloquy (oneshot, childhood freinds to lovers, fluff)[COMPLETED]

Breathe by @t0wnspersonb (oneshot, fluff) As the manager of Aoba Johsai, you take it upon yourself to make sure everyone is taken care of. Which is why you find yourself making sure that a certain captain isn’t pushing himself, especially after a knee injury. It’s not until an incident in the locker room that you begin to realize just how much Oikawa means to you.[COMPLETED]

The Miracle of Childbirth ✨by @oreosmama Yours (oneshot, humor) and Oikawa’s children were the most amazing creatures on Earth… except when they acted like munchkin-sized pain in the asses.[COMPLETED]

On a Cold Winter’s Night ✨ by @oreosmama (oneshot, slight smut, fluff)Trapped in the university library due to a raging blizzard outside, you are forced to endure the cold night with the man you hate the most: the player who lives in the dorm across from you, Tooru Oikawa. But with tensions and anxieties at an all-time high, you begin to realize your feelings for Oikawa aren’t quite what you thought they were, especially when all he wants to do is keep you warm.[COMPLETED]

Talking to the Moon ✨by @oreosmama (oneshot, angst with happy ending)After breaking up to go their separate ways after high school, YN and Oikawa struggle to accept the fact that neither is willing to give up their career paths for the other. Instead, they both confide in the moon, wishing that it was their other half. (Based on “Talking to the Moon” by Bruno Mars.)[COMPLETED]

You’re jealous but you can’t do anything because you’re not dating him by @screamin-abt-haikyuu (oneshot, angst to fluff)[COMPLETED]

Across the Hall by @oreosmama (oneshot, angst with happy ending, slight smut) Across the hall lived Oikawa, a smug womanizer who never knew how to confront his one-night stands after their five minutes of fame. To avoid confrontation, he repeatedly seeks refuge in your apartment, or in his case, in your bed. But what happens when you start to grow feelings for this amorous neighbor of yours?[COMPLETED]

Fake Marks, True Love ✨by @oreosmama (oneshot, angst with happy ending, slight smut) The hickey was fake, but the pain Oikawa felt when he saw it? It was real, and it hurt like a bitch. “Who touched you?”[COMPLETED]

I Wanna Build a Snowman ✨by @oreosmama (oneshot, fluff) Oikawa just wants to build a snowman on one of the coldest days of the year with his beloved girlfriend. What could go wrong?[COMPLETED]

Warm Embrace by @oreosmama (oneshot, fluff)Naked cuddles with Oikawa need no purpose.[COMPLETED]

Pain Split ✨by kaientai(oneshot, soulmate au)At the same time when Oikawa Tooru presumably fucked up his knee, you, an unsuspecting soccer player, received the injury of a lifetime.[COMPLETED]

Court of Kings by @venusdeus (arranged marriage, royalty au, enemies to lovers) Sent to a neighbouring kingdom to secure an alliance, forced to give up your dreams and ambitions, disregarded as a means to an end. You however have no desire to fulfil their wishes. And neither does Oikawa. [ONGOING] <guys...this fic hasn't been uploaded in a long time but I seriously love it so I am gonna be putting it here>

a love like winter ✓ | friends to lovers, angst by @tooruluv| teaser | pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7 | pt 8 | pt 9 | pt 10 | pt 11 | pt 12 (final) |[COMPLETED]

love, always by @saintobio (heavy angst, past lovers, amnesia) 3 years since the accident and you’ve regained most of your memories back, but there’s still one missing puzzle piece that only your boyfriend’s best friend can complete. the question is, will you let him? [COMPLETED]

da capo✨✨ by krystallisert(soulmate au, unrequited love, pinning)Nothing could've stopped you from falling in love with Oikawa Tooru. Not the neatly drawn mark ever present on his wrist, nor the looks of pity on your best friend's face whenever she catches you staring at the brunet. [COMPLETED]

Rewind (Part I), Rewind (Part II) by @mitsuki-murakami (twoshot, soulmate au, fluff, angst) A Soulmate AU where you will keep looping your life until you meet your soulmate.[COMPLETED]

think of me by @mitsuki-murakami (oneshot, heavy angst)How could you think that this wouldn't hurt me?[COMPLETED]

The Gift of a Greek God by Orphan_account Oikawa Tooru is Eros in all of his glory. Beauty, love, and desire overwhelmingly packed into one being.And you? The human (un)fortunate enough to be raked into one of his deals. [COMPLETED]

but my lungs fell so small by krystallisert (medieval au, enemies to friends to lovers, princess! reader, knight! oikawa)The intricacies of war is something you do not know much of. But still, you’d heard about the unrest to the south, the rumors of dissent and the anti-capitol posters. If you could trace back to the first protest, the first whisper of treason, would you be able to pinpoint the exact moment a war became an inevitability ?The capitol gates come crashing down with an explosion of gunpowder and debris. [ONGOING]

The Underground ✨✨by butterflytint (enemies to friends to lovers) you've always been meticulous, turning to hacking as a simple hobby. Following the death of your brother, you went off the rails in efforts of finding his killers. You're backed into a corner when you're caught hacking the police and government organizations by a charming secret agent/criminal, Tooru Oikawa. You find out it has something to do with your brother and you didn't know him as well as you thought you did. [COMPLETED]

Two Stories💖✨ by deltachye(college au, fluff, angst)your face is in my dreams; but in reality, so far.[COMPLETED]

Splash of Color by RizRice(friends to lovers, starngers to lovers, fluff, slice of life)Routines can get a little boring. As structured as they may be, the world can begin to look black and white. But once a splash of color hits your nose, the routine you once held dear changes.[COMPLETED]

The Popular Guy by crescentsteel (smut, fluff, angst, humor)You only saw him from afar – Oikawa Tooru. He’s just perfect. He’s so kind to his fans, so hardworking, so ambitious. So unreachable. You’re fine with that though. Seeing him around was enough for you. You count yourself lucky that you were able to talk to him one time before graduation. But when university started, he was there waiting for you, and in his hand was the letter you never intended to send.[COMPLETED]

BULLY by neptunecookie (enemies to lovers, angst, smut) when y/n signed up for summer camp, she didn’t expect to be stuck with her high school bully for a month.[COMPLETED]

First Love, Late Spring by miyachondria(oneshot, exes to lovers, post timeskip)Oikawa Tooru’s eyes are still the same shade of honey brown, and you still fall in love the way you used to: hard, plummeting, like a burning comet making its way across the night sky.[COMPLETED]

Perfect (Oikawa x Plain! Reader)✨ by MrsTanaka(oneshot, soulmate au, fluff)Soulmate AU in which you share a talent or talents with your partner.[COMPLETED]

Enough By StilemaWillow (oneshot, soulmate au) You can feel eachother's emotions.[COMPLETED]

I don't like your Shampoo ✨by @hinac0lada (oneshot, soulmate au, humor)[COMPLETED]

good enough ✨by @teamatsumu (oneshot, soulmate au, insecure! reader)[COMPLETED]

Till it Breaks by deltachye (angst, romance)In sickness and in health; ‘till death do us part… Or ‘till his mind broke, leaving you behind with nothing but a shattered heart when he asked quietly, “who are you?” [COMPLETED]

Unspoken by just_j (friends to lovers, fluff, angst, mutual pinning) Oikawa has been in love with you since you became a manager for the university’s volleyball team, but keeps it to himself in fear of what his fan club might do to you if they found out.[COMPLETED]

Breath by visi(fantasy au, enemies to lovers)You think that your escape as a secluded witch in the forest would be much more successful if there wasn't another irritable, attractive inhabitant already.[COMPLETED]

目送 ; five times oikawa didn’t look back and the one time he did by vogonpoetry (oneshot, angst with happy ending, tooth rooting)you spend a lifetime watching him go, sometimes with your stomach tied in knots, sometimes with tears in your eyes, but always with love.[COMPLETED]

Cross the Pacific✨ by @seokiloquy (oneshot, angst, fluff, slight! sugawara)[COMPLETED]

The only stranger in the room✨ by @ugh-tsumu (oneshot, soulmate au) The day you are introduced as the (Aoba Johsai’s) volleyball team’s new manager is also the day you’re supposed to meet your soulmate. Coincidentally, this is also the day Oikawa arrives late.[COMPLETED]

For You, Black Petals by @seokiloquy (oneshot, hanahaki, angst) It’s alright to love someone who does not love you back, as long as they’re worth you loving them. As long as they deserve it.[COMPLETED]

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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 9 months ago

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kairo this was my live reaction reading this u are PAYING for my hospital bills idc this unscrewed every single part of my brain

WHERE DO I EVEN BEGIN ????? kairo i’m gonna have to go through a lot of these bc literally every single thing u said made me burst w joy like u really are just ?????? soooo attentive ??!!!! it blows my mind how u always notice those tiny details that i assume ppl will miss I LOVE UUUUUU I’M GENUINELY SO OVERJOYED THAT U LIKED THIS UR APPROVAL MEANS THE UNIVERSE TO ME 🥺🥺🥺🥺😥😥😥😥 sniffle .

FIRST OF ALL. THE SIKEN QUOTE AS THE TITLE??? WAR OF FOXES BABY i read the poem and wow… “i am faithful to you, darling.” is the ESSENCE of this entire story i’m so MOVED.

I’M SOOOOOO HAPPY U TOOK THE TIME TO READ THE POEM and u get it!!!!! ofc u do!!!!! that particular poem is actually the starting poem of war of the foxes, so i thought it was fitting since . the entire collection is knight!sugu/royalty!reader coded to me 😭😭😭 AND IT’S JUST SUCH A PRETTY QUOTEEE i wanted it to match w the sunlight/painting motif hehehe… ”i am faithful to you, darling.” really IS the essence of the fic i can’t tell u how much i adore ur brain like U GET ITTT

”i paint in his face and i paint it out again.” — this quote from the poem also makes me think of them sm!! like there’s something so …. unbelievably tender and deep about painting the person you love most yk??? i firmly believe that reader would paint sugu lots of times and maybe shyly give one to him at some point ….. (he has to turn around so they don’t see the tears in his eyes LMAOOO loser)

i love the “wilted sunflowers” symbolism… i think it also ties into how reader views their life as of rn like it’s suffocating to be them and it feels like a weight is on their chest sometimes as well with how maids/the king treat them.

AAAAAAAAA U GET ITTTTTTTTT kairo ur brain is so huge so beautiful i wanna kiss it kenny style i was genuinely so overjoyed & hyped to hear all ur thoughts and interpretations!!! this is without a doubt the most symbolism/imagery-packed fic i’ve ever written LMAO there are soooo many details that are meant to represent reader and suguru and their mental states….. and obv the dream is a Big one. AND U ARE CORRECTTTT HEHE the dream is meant to symbolize both reader and sugu!!! the wilted sunflowers and the ravens and everything, the fact that both of them are suffocated by their duties…… suguru being stuck between his identity as the wolf and the knight, reader being a helpless onlooker……. etc etc.

i also wanted the dream to be heavy with foreshadowing LMAO the dragonflies appear throughout the fic when reader and suguru are growing closer to each other, the empty suits of armor are supposed to be referencing reader’s kidnapping and suguru turning into a ”wolf” while slaughtering his way through the bandits den, and so on!!! i’m so happy u liked it, the dream motif kinda came to me in a vision pjdjfjf but i’m so happy w how it turned out :’3

outright. Sexy As Fuck imagery <3 maybe it’s just me but the knight wants me sooooooo bad omfg… i LOVE how the knight is tall and IMPOSING… covered in STEEL… imposing & cold & in a way untouchable. love that the knight just stands there as it rains too i think it adds to the atmosphere beautifully… literally feels like i’m in a stand off w a terrifying knight in a cold barren clearing wowowowow

THE KNIGHT DOES WANT U SO BAD <33 he’s just shy <33333 kairo ure so real personally i don’t think there’s anything sexier than a Knight . armor and helmet on and everything. i openly drooled writing this scene. BUT AAA I’M JUST SOOOOO HAPPY U COULD FEEL THE ATMOSPHERE i wanted so badly to make it vivid!!! ur the sweetest ever i was genuinely giggling and smiling so wide reading all ur comments T_T dissecting my fics so so gently kenny has NOTHING on u!!!!!

it’s also fascinating how all the reader wants to see… is the WOODS. out of anywhere it’s just the woods. in sight but out of reach… the woods are kinda like suguru now that i think about it…

KAIROOOOOOO I’M SHAKING UR SHOULDERS the amount of times i had to stop reading just to hold my head in my hands bc u GET it always always always!! if i’m being honest a lot of details in this fic were kind of absentminded, but then still ended up coming together to form a kind of pattern or concept…..,,, and with the woods i do think it’s just that!!! they’re close enough to see but reader isn’t allowed to go there, so it’s just this… itching temptation. a whole cavern of gold that they aren’t allowed to touch. and that just makes them more enticing !!

MIND YOU THIS IS WHEN I FELL IN LOVE W READER LIKENDNDNDNDNDN they’re JUST like ME fr 😭😭😭 put toji in front of me… the kingdom is gonna see something they’ve never seen before… if y’all are shocked that a sexy dilf assassin is now king LOOK AWAY! THAT’S MY MAN! I’M KEEPING HIM W ME IDGAF! if he tried to kill me then maybe i deserved it idk it’s not even a big deal fr <3 RUGGED SEXY W THE SCAR YUHHHHH

PHDJDHFUBDJF KAIRO U BRING ME SM JOYYY HAVE I EVER TOLD U THAT 😭😭😭 SOOOO FUCKING REAL I SUPPORT U SM snatch that dilf right up !!! he’ll assassinate the king for u so u can claim the throne right away <333 AND WAHH I CANT TELL U HOW HAPPY I AM THAT U LIKE MY BRATTY LIL READER they’re my angel on this earth <333 so sillyyyy getting attached to their kidnapper (they’re so real)

oh the clockwork mentions you had throughout this fic was absolutely FASCINATING. i don’t think i’ve ever even thought of/seen something like this before… what a very interesting way to express someone’s limit of patience… i reallllllllllly like that a lot omfg… a clockwork heart ticking down moments of patience/until they run out of “leftover” kindness… leftover is very important here bc tbh who would have patience/overt genuine kindness for a royal? i like the way you described this a lot and i also really liked the “tick-tock” you put throughout the fic to show this exactly!

AAAAAA I’M SO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i’m so happy…… tbh the clockwork imagery was never planned it just came to me randomly and then i got attached so i decided to roll w it pdhdjfjfj BUT I’M OVERJOYED THAT U ENDED UP LIKING IT i thought it’d be a good way to show the way reader views the people around them!! like clockworks waiting to snap <33 i also think that heartbeats and clock-ticks are rlly similar …. i had a bit too much fun writing tick-tock over and over again PHDJD

AND THE LEFTOVER PATIENCE PLEASSEEE THE FACT THAT U CAUGHT THAT IS INSANE TO ME u got it exactly right 😭😭😭 it’s leftover kindness bc no one in the castle truly cares for reader, they either love them as an extension of the royal family or as a kind of charity case … and that’s also why reader won’t accept it !! they’re not gonna sit there and feel indebted to the maids who placate them for their own sense of satisfaction … if it’s just leftovers then they’ll throw it away (but suguru’s kindness is genuine !! which is why they can’t help but warm up to him 💔 the maids give them leftovers and he makes them a warm meal….)

ari. ARI. ARIIIIIIIIIIIIII. your imagery is just SOOOOOO beautiful it makes me want to caress your brain (in an oddly comforting kenjaku way) <3 velvet, silky, smooth (all things to describe a voice AND clothing!) love the way you tie it into “tailored by the finest seamstress” & don’t get me STARTED ON THE DEEP RASP. “honey, wine, molten mass of spring clouds.” HOW DO YOU THINK OF SOMETHING SO BEAUTIFUL AND SO TRUE??? sweet elegant and beautiful… that’s suguru to a TEE

KAIRO STOP I’M ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR …………. u r way too kind i had to clutch my chest like a frail victorian man ur words rlly do mean so so much i can’t tell u how reassuring this was 😭😭 and how much it means to me !!! u are just the sweetest ever ever ever cmere im hugging u 🫂🫂 IM SOOOOOOO HAPPY U LIKED THE IMAGERY and again … u caught the whole clothing/voice double meaning thingie ….. ure so impressive i’m on my hands and knees teach me ur ways pls I LOVE YOUUUUU

reader is SOOOOOOOO brattyteen!toru coded i’m not kidding… obsessed. your tags were so right like methinks suguru is a brat-tamer at heart (he’s had practice w satoru) ALSO!!!!!! mirth is such a fun word i can’t stop using it 😭 ANOTHER ALSO!!!!! “golden pears hanging off the branches” IS THAT TO DESCRIBE HIS EYES??? IF SO THEN THAT’S UNBELIEVABLY STUNNING

YES YES YES YESSSSS U UNDERSTAND ME U GET IT kairo i literally had this huge epiphany as i was writing …..,, where i was like ………. this is just teen stsg isn’t it . PHEIFBFJFJ THEY HAUNTTTT ME THEY WONT LET ME LEAVE no but genuinely i feel like my readers always end up emulating stsg?? i felt that way w the prince!gojo/knight!reader fic too 😭😭 and in this case reader is just such a little brat they rlly ARE just like toru … sugu being a brat tamer is canon to me idc he loves them and he loves making them go from feral and hissy to soft and pliant 😔😔😔 smhhh he’s a sick sick man he wants to be the only one who can calm reader down.. the only one who can get them soft ….

AND YES HEHE i was so happy w the ripe pears thingie 😭😭 idk i just think . he’s so golden pear coded…. idk ….. it makes sense in my brain … peaches and golden pears ….

ari you’re soooooo fucking insane……… reader always baring their teeth and wanting to test people’s patience but DEEP DOWN (not that deep down) they’re just. a lil goober. like someone who just wants to see the world and find friendship and who just wants to PLAY! they really are a little lamb <3 i think it’s cool how reader tries to act like a wolf but they’re a lamb and suguru tries to “act” like a lamb (he just has an air of natural placation) but is a wolf

(i have a feeling i’m gonna be saying this for every single comment atp but) U GET ITTTTTTTTT EXACTLY i put so much effort into the animal symbolism 😭😭😭 and u truly get it !!! sugu acts domesticated but he’s feral deep down, reader acts feral but they’re always forced into a state of compliance and domestication … the way i see it sugu is a wolf who pretends to act like a dog, and reader is . a fox …. who pretends to be a wolf … but is forced to behave as a lamb …… u Get it i know u do. i mentioned this in the tags maybe i think but yk …… dogs guard sheep … from foxes and wolves… yeahhhh there’s this whole web of animal imagery lore in my head LMAO

also i need to mention this bc i felt so sneaky but . reader being a fox ……….. yk how the kingdom’s economy hinges a lot on wolves? and the selling and buying of wolf pelts? notice how … the king’s quarters are full of wolf pelts …. but he wears a fox pelt around his neck ………… yeahhh just putting that out there for u my dear dissector <3333

honestly! at first i was a bit hmm when you first mentioned that the reader would be bratty bc i didn’t know how you’d write them but i actually found reader the FUN type of bratty! endearing, funny, disrespectful but it’s with reason! i actually am quite fond of them :’)

AHHH KAIRO I WAS SO GLAD TO HEAR THIS 😭😭😭 i think they’re such a fun lil brat !! the type who bites and bites bc they just cant help themselves… and sugu is their ideal man bc he’s so patient w them always <3333 i feel like if he ever actually got mad they would backtrack soooo fast bc they’re actually v sensitive :((( lil baby . after they’ve grown so close they couldn’t bear to make sugu angry at them i think… but he never could be !! they’re his baby !!! :(((((

WHAT A STUNNING WAY TO SHOW HIS DEVOTION TO PROTECT!!!!!!!! he RECITES it. “in the face of beasts, in the reflection of broken mirrors, a mantra to live and die by.” like are you affirming it to yourself or reminding yourself lest you forget suguru? that line……… had me so obsessed i reallllllly love the fact that he would say that to himself against foes. to himself. a mantra. wowowowow

I KNEWWWWW U’D LIKE THAT ONE KAIRO I PUT IT IN JUST FOR U HEHEHEH he recites it !!!!! ofc u caught that !!!!! it’s a scripture to him. AND YESSSS IT’S BOTH AN AFFIRMATION AND A REMINDER i have so many knight!sugu thoughts and a lot of them hinge on the idea that duty is something that corrupts… smth that knights cling to for survival and it makes them insane. i think sugu lives for his duty and deep down i think he wants to die for it too (maybe a lil more than he should)….

ANOTHER ONES OF MY FAVS!!!!!! DEVOTION THAT ENSNARES YOU FULLY WITHOUT ANY INTENTION OF LETTING GO!!!!!! AND YOU DON’T WANT IT TO EITHER BC THIS IS THE ONLY THING YOU KNOW!!!!! “dark and murky… dragging him down” the fact that you made it a point to explain the extent of his devotion in this manner is WILD. “devotion that smells of iron, tastes like steel, mania disguised as loyalty.” the only way suguru knows how to exist is by extreme intensity and bouts of insanity. like for REAL. i don’t think he can love normally bc he just throws himself head first and will envelope himself inside the mania of whatever the fuck he does… love the imagery of iron and steel for devotion… hard & cold and perfect for a knight. “mania disguised as loyalty.” it’s devotion and mania wrapped in one and it has no other way of showing it except baring its heart & teeth. blood and all. i think that’s how he likes it and that’s how he prefers it

THIS MADE ME SOOOOO INSANE THIS IS US RN ^^^^^ U GET ITTTTTTTT ohhhh my god u get it… u get Him…….. i agree more than i’ve ever agreed with anything HE ONLY KNOWS HOW TO LOVE INTENSELY!!!!!! his devotion runs so deep i think it physically drags him down and spills out in everything he does …. like he tries to hold back bc he KNOWS it’s overwhelming yk?? but it still ends up seeping through here and there. he can’t help but love with every fibre of his being :((( it’s devotion and mania wrapped in one and it has no other way of showing it except baring its heart & teeth. blood and all. i think that’s how he likes it and that’s how he prefers it <- u understand knight!sugu more than me atp what the fuckkk U GET IT U DOOO… i have nothing to add just know my brain exploded. fellow sugu soldier how i love u so <3333

ARI YOU NEED TO KNOW THIS ENTIRE PARAGRAPH HAD ME SO INSANE I WAS HOWLING. him cradling you as close as humanly possible me and him wanting to literally CUT himself open and fit you inside his torso/ribcage to keep you safe… MOTHER WOLF SUGURU. BARK BARK BARK at the end of the day you’re his baby…

HEHEHEHEH I KNEWWWWW UD LIKE THIS ONE or i was hoping so 👉👈 IM SO GLADDDD and yes……. mother wolf sugu … he’s mother wolf he’s papabear and u are his BABY no matter what :(( no other jjk man sees reader as their baby more than sugu does btw like the motherfatherism just makes him look at u like :) my baby . my little guy . i truly think he respects u so soooo deeply as an individual & equal but u are also His Baby above all else <33 he sees it as his duty to take care of u <33333 our man fr

i think you just understand such a core part of suguru as a person… like he’s ABSOLUTELY the type to always blame himself/overthink like we even saw this in jjks2 when he blames himself and satoru has to REASSURE him that no it wasn’t your fault. shit happens. please don’t let it eat you alive……… (i could go on a whole rant abt satoru and how empathetic he is and how his trauma shaped him and how his childhood shaped him into always being the one to take care of things/fix them…… he’s like a father figure too actually i won’t let me get into this rn but just know. satosugu are both papabear coded but in diff ways)

SPEAKKKKKK YOUR TRUTH KAIRO this made me so insane so unhinged i LOVE hearing abt ur stsg thoughts i’m ur biggest fan just picture me nodding and kicking my feet to every word u say AND I AGREE!!! both on sugu and toru !! HEAVY on toru like u get it … THEY’RE BOTH PAPABEARS BUT IN DIFFERENT WAYS SO TRUEEE i don’t think ppl talk abt satoru’s maturity enough … his tendency to Care For and Safeguard ….. it’s so ingrained in him yk . and we see it over and over again !! with riko and then also with his students. mentally i’m always right here:

LIKEEEEE HE’S SO FATHER EXCUSE ME???? his trauma shaped him so deeply and left him so intent on safeguarding Youth at all costs and it just means so much to me :(( like i’m sorry but he really IS one of the most kindhearted jjk characters to me, not in a saintly way but in a very grounded way. he’s an adult who wants to spare children from the trauma he went through and it’s as much for him as it is for them but idk he’s just …. papa . papa gojo. i need him to father me i think

you always have such amazing dialogue like you make it so REAL like it actually feels like real conversations that people have! you have a wonderful grasp on when to make jokes and when to make proclamations of love and they never sound corny or out of place like that’s a real TALENT

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😞😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺😞😞😞😞😞😭😭🥺🥺😭🥺😭🥺😭😭😞😞😭😭😭😭😭😭😞😭😭😭😭😭 KAIROOOOOOO DO U KNOW HOW HAPPY THIS MADE ME …. DO U …………. do u know i wept. U CANT JUST SAY THINGS LIKE THIS GIVE ME A WARNING OR SOMETHING no but. i’m genuinely so happy to hear that thank u 😥 i’m always a lil worried abt my dialogue … being corny….. so i’m tucking this comment deep into my ribs <333 it rlly means the galaxy to me u are far farrrr too sweet u need to pay for my visit to the dentist bc ur rb gave me actual cavities smh 😔😔

HE SAID THEIR NAMEEEEEEEEEEE. “LIKE A PRAYER.” “HONEY AND WINE.” “DEVOTION STICKS TO HIS TONGUE.” “HEAVY FONDNESS — SOMETHING DEVOUT.” “SOMETHING YOU’VE ONLY EVER HEARD FROM THE MOUTHS OF PRIESTS.” OH MY GOD?/$/!/$/$/$$/&/: THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FUCKING WAY TO SAY SOMEONE’S NAME AND THE LITERAL DEPTH BEHIND IT. THE REVERENCE. LIKENING IT TO SCRIPTURE??? MY GOODNESS.

HEHEHHE I WAS JUST SO GIDDY THAT U ENJOYED THIS PART ….. i’m a big advocate of the Inherent Intimacy of Saying Somebody’s Name to me it’s a sign of being equals !! of respecting someone at the very core of who they are !!! and the tenderness of sugu saying reader’s name, loving them for being Them and not for being His Lord ……. yeah . yeahhh u get me i also always love likening sugu’s affection to faith lol i really do think his love borders on religion 😭😭 he can NOT love normally god bless 🙏🙏🙏

(don’t even get me started on priest!sugu…… like that is a TWISTED twisted man to me bc i really do think he would see his s/o as God. just straight up. and that will Not end well LMAOO he makes me ill i don’t think abt him often but when i do … phewww. his love is so heavy it’ll burn you both alive <33)

KDKDKDKDKDKDKDKSKSKSKD CAN I GET A HELL FUCKING YEAH FOR THE KING MOST LIKELY KICKING THE BUCKET! NO NEED FOR HIM TO ACT ANYMORE……… IS READER NOW THE KINGDOM LEADER??? also sitting in suguru’s lap hehehe i’m giggling twirling my hair kicking my feet 👉🏼👈🏼

HELL YEAHHHHHHHHH hehehe i wanted the ending to be very vague and open for interpretation :333 but i do picture them eventually becoming the ruler w sugu still as their knight !! or maybeeee they can find someone else to fill the royal shoes …. and escape their duties ..,., maybe sugu makes the choice to be reader’s knight alone …… who knows who knowssss either way it’ll end with them in his lap and him in their lap <3333 sidenote kind of but i do picture this reader as similar to urs in the sense that they both kinda like manhandling him 😭😭 likeeee royalty!reader can and WILL tug sugu into their lap whenever they feel like it and he just has to indulge them bc they’ll whine otherwise <333 ideal dynamic i adore them

KAIROOOOO i could mention more of ur comments bc TRUST me when i say that they all made me weep tears of joy and absolutely made my whole month/year/life but i’ll leave it at that <33 U MEAN THE WORLD TO ME i can’t tell u how much it means that u took the time to read this novella of a fic !!! and to comment on it so thoroughly !!! 🥺🥺 u are an angel and i am kissing ur forehead softly. wrapping knight!sugu & assassin!toji up in ribbons and sending them to ur location <3333

………………. ok but. knight!sugu x royalty!reader x assassin!toji ……………….… how do we feel abt that gang (”gang” as in ”kairo specifically”) ………

what if toji somehow escaped from the dungeon they put him in… and returned …… but as reader’s bodyguard this time …….. maybe he made a deal with the king …….. and now reader has two buff sexy bodyguards who just so happen to hate each other 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 WHAT DO WE THINKKKK i fear u’ve broken my brain kairo….

sigh . i added it to the wips 😞😞😞

the paint doesn't move the way the light reflects ; suguru geto

synopsis; when the king puts you under the supervision of a dashing knight, you promise to make his job as difficult as possible. unfortunately, suguru geto is the patient sort.

word count; 21.1k (this accidentally turned into a novella idk how it happened nobody look at me :’3 this is a love letter to sugu ok…)

contents; suguru geto/reader, gn!reader, knight!sugu x royalty!reader, royalty au (not accurate to any time period ever), technically a bodyguard au, slowburn, reader is a brat and suguru likes it a little more than he should, reader also has thinly veiled daddy issues, protective sugu :3, he goes feral in one part (descriptions of violence and bloodshed), reader gets briefly kidnapped lol, very fluffy overall though!!, includes shifting povs & time-skips, also lots and lots of devotion, knight!sugu is real & beautiful & loves you specifically <33

a/n; HAPPY late BDAY SUGU MY BABY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE this fic has been in the works for a WHILE now and means a lot to me much like sugu himself :’3 dedicated to my beloved @kissxcore for infecting me w this concept & also my dear @mossmurdock for bringing knight!sugu into my life, both of u have made the brainrot infinitely worse and i will never be free (and ofc @softgirlgonehaywire & @dollsuguru & @jtkys for being the sweetest always) I LOVE U ALL!!!!!!!!

like most things, it begins and ends with a dream.

images form in the depths of your subconscious, wild and vivid, splattering on the canvas of your mind. a dream of cold metal, dark thickets, iron-scented skin — and a knight.

(or… a wolf?)

before you is a small clearing. trees sprout from the rugged grounds, blooming proudly, clogging up the wool-coated sky. all around you lie empty, discarded suits of armor, dirty with rust and something that smells of death. wilted sunflowers stumble under their own weight, and dragonflies buzz in a frenzy, manic, driven to hysteria. in the distance you think you hear the shrieking of ravens.

and there’s a knight, just ahead, tall and imposing, covered in steel from head to toe. holding a blinding sword, facing the sky, doing nothing to stop the pitter patter of raindrops ricocheting off his burganet. you stand by the entrance of the woods, and watch him in silence.

he looks a little lonely.

and in comes the wolf. gracious, growling, big and bad, snarling and showing off the white of its fangs. dragging its claws against the ground, unruly fur ruffled by the harsh breeze; widening its maw, a silent fury on its tongue. from this angle, it looks a little like a grin.

the wolf begins to chase the knight. or maybe it’s the knight chasing the wolf — you can’t really tell. they run in circles around each other, like the sun and the moon, an orbit of violence, matching their steps. almost in harmony — almost, but not quite, because suddenly they’re closing in on you, great and ugly, beasts wearing different hides, and —

and that’s when you wake up.

”your highness!”

a groan pushes past your lips, groggy with fatigue, and your eyelids flicker open like the drawing of a flimsy curtain. a series of mismatched little blinks, until your vision clears.

above you waits a familiar face; impatient. one of the maids, your foggy brain tells you. and she isn’t pleased.

but all you do is drag your limbs up to cover your pillow-creased face, sluggishly, muttering beneath your breath. ”a wolf…”

silence.

the maid tilts her head, with a furrow of her brows.

”… excuse me?”

”there was a wolf,” you echo, a dreamy exhale muffled against the skin of your palm. stifling a yawn. ”and a guy… he was cool.”

she sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. settling back into her usual rhythm. mildy berating. ”did you have another one of your dreams?” she asks, a little irritated, and for a second you think you hear a tick-tock ticking down. ”at any rate — you need to get up. the king and queen demand your presence.”

ah. of course.

a huff, displeased, even as you force yourself into a sitting position. stretching your limbs like a grumpy feline. ”demands…” you murmur, a click of your tongue. ”they think they can just wake me up whenever they want? at the crack of dawn?”

”it’s 11 a.m, your highness.”

”early as hell,” you rasp, willfully tuning out her murmur of mind your language. letting your legs hang off the bed. ”what do they want, anyway?”

following your silent cue, she hums, walking towards the edge of the room. picking up your discarded blouse, and bringing it to you. ”i was told it was of utmost importance,” is all she says, lifting the fabric as if getting ready to dress you.

”i can do that myself,” you hiss, snatching the white silk from her outstretched hands. as always, she does nothing but sigh, sigh, sigh. it’s all they ever do. ”i’m not a toddler.”

from your position, still cozied up in bed, on messy sheets and fluffy pillows — you can see the view beyond your translucent window’s glass. a sky so gray it’s almost comforting, dark clouds forming in the distance, silently ruminating. when the maid pushes it open, and a cold breeze slips through the gap, you can smell the rain; heavy, earthy, daffodils and oak wood. in the distance, sunflower fields seek shelter from the downpour.

but your eyes remain glued to the woods. far ahead, but still close enough to see — the woods you long for. the ones you’ll never get to see up close.

a bitter taste blooms on your tongue.

(spitefully, your teeth sink into the tender flesh of your bottom lip.)

”fine,” comes a heavy sigh, ruefully resigned. forcing yourself into compliancy. before you can change your mind, you hop off the mattress, running your fingers through tousled strands of hair. ”i’ll go see them.”

and she brightens, visibly, disapproving frown smoothed away with the breeze. for now. ”thank you. they are worried, i’ll have you know.”

a scoff, as you cross the threshold of your private quarters. humorous. ”i bet they are.”

”your highness,” she calls, following close behind. her tone is reprimanding, now; you will yourself not to shrink. ”we almost lost you.”

”i almost got kidnapped,” you huff. ”not the same thing.”

again, that exasperated sigh. it’s a wonder her lungs haven’t run out of air. ”do you have any idea who that man was?”

the question makes your mind still. shifting gears, a clockwork coming to life, repeating it inside your head — do you have any idea who that man was?

”… he was hot.”

sigh. you hear it before it comes, and raise your lips on instinct.

”no, i mean it!” you ensure her, throwing a fleeting glance behind you. ”he just had that rugged look about him, you know? the scar and everything…” a blissful little exhale, as you gush over your would-be killer. ”what a waste. if only he had gotten away.”

”with you in tow?” the maid quips, raising a brow. her words are steeped in irony.

”of course!” another disapproving glance. ”i mean, did you see those biceps —”

”behave.”

with a flutter of your puffy sleeves, you turn around to face her. and ah — there it is. the hardness of her jaw, those frosty pupils, the impending signs of her dwindling patience. you can see it, hear it, that eerie tick-tock signaling the breaching of her limit. all humans have one; a clockwork heart, of sorts, ticking down to the moment they run out of leftover kindness to give unruly heirs.

over the years, you’ve gotten expertly good at making the clock tick quicken. a skill you’re very proud of.

”and what if i don’t?” you bite back, just barely restraining your growing grin. delighted at the attention. ”he had nice biceps! what, am i not allowed to tell the truth?”

and the tick-tock quickens. she stills, just behind you, hands on her hips. frustration bubbling beneath her sharp syllables. ”my god, you are impossible today!”

for a moment, you stop to look at her. weighing your options. should you reel it back in, try and appease her? or keep pushing? the answer, as always, is push. it’s all you’ll ever do.

so you turn on your heel, and take a step forward, a spiteful grin curved into your lips. ”deal with it, or leave.” a beat. ”i don’t remember asking you to accompany me.”

before you round the corner, your ears pick up on one final harsh sigh. she makes no move to follow you.

(hmph.)

”where is your maid?”

in front of you stands a throne, proud and luxurious, polished marble, two seats right next to each other. the quarters of the royal pair are the same as always, vivid paintings hanging from every wall in sight, wolf pelts thrown over tables and windowsills. the scent of dried lavender seeps through the air, suffocating you.

and, of course, the king. speaking to you with the same judgemental voice as always; one you’ve grown painfully accustomed to.

”i wanted her to get me breakfast,” is the lie you decide on, finely tailored in white. just to make sure she doesn’t get into any actual trouble. ”you didn’t exactly give me time to eat any.”

the king sighs, mild disappointment laced into the breath. nothing new. when he says your name, it comes out sounding like a bad joke. ” — you aren’t a child anymore. one day you’ll be ruling this kingdom; forcing the maids to do your bidding won’t win you any favours.”

”mhm.” absently, you fidget with the sleeves of your blouse. not quite listening. ”so, what did you want? it’s not often i’m allowed here.”

an evil glint shines in your eyes, for a moment. you cast a meaningful glance at the maid by your father’s side — his personal favorite.

”don’t you have, ah��” you taste the words on your tongue. ”more pressing matters to attend to?”

he doesn’t flinch. as always, he pretends not to know that you know — that everyone knows.

yet he still gives you that cold, cold look, colder than the howls of wind beyond the castle walls, cold enough to send a shiver down your spine. it makes you want to push, push, push. break the clockwork in half.

but he’s wise enough to follow your lead. “let me get to the point, then,” he cranes his neck, showing off the fox pelt snug around his shoulders. ”the queen and i thought it best to hire a new knight for you.”

you blink. eyelashes fluttering. all you can hear is the pitter patter of rain against the windowpane.

then you groan.

”another one?” you whine, barely resisting the urge to stomp your feet on the floor. ”please, no. it’s such a pain getting rid of them. you know they won’t last long!”

”we aren’t talking about any ordinary knight,” he tuts, as monotone as ever. ignoring your little temper tantrum. ”after what happened with toji zenin, we aren’t taking any chances.”

you tilt your head. confused, for a moment. ”toji?” the gears of your mind turn, clicking into place; zenin. a family of assassins, a man with a scar on his bottom lip. ”ohhh — the hottie.”

your father pretends not to hear you.

”it was a close call,” he hums, and you muster the strength not to crack another joke about his biceps. it takes restraint. ”we need someone who can protect you properly. indefinitely, from even the stealthiest of assassins. so…”

your eyes meet his. gazes overlapping, the same colour, one above and one below. he’s always, always towered over you. for as long as you remember.

that is what royalty means — absolute dominion.

(it makes you want to curl into a ball.)

”today, you’ll be meeting with the greatest knight.” he says the words with an odd sense of pride, an inner satisfaction. ”he’ll be here any moment. i thought it best for you to get acquainted as soon as possible.”

a moment passes. you’re broken out of your bout of compliance, like a rubber band snapping. a clock tick quickening. ”wait, what?” you gape. ”father —”

”your majesty.”

…

the correction is stern. gritting your teeth, you force the words from out your throat. ”… your majesty,” there’s a slight grumble to your voice, ”what the hell? now? i haven’t even —”

”you have no choice in this matter,” he cuts you off. coldly, coldly, coldly. ”behave, and there won’t be any complications.”

behave.

behave, behave, behave. it’s all they ever want from you.

(you might as well be a pet.)

the queen is silent, as always. eerily so, not saying a word, like a puppet on a string. she hasn’t looked you in the eye even once so far, not even a passing glance. not like you’d expect her to. her clockwork heart stopped beating for you a long time ago.

automatons, the both of them. making decisions for you, like there isn’t a sliver of rational thought in your brain. how irritating.

you’re just about to part your lips, when —

”… am i interrupting?”

you still.

a velvety voice. silky, smooth, tailored by the finest seamstress — tucked between the slightest raspy vowel, a hint of something deeper. it sounds like honey, wine, a molten mass of spring clouds.

the king ahead of you brightens, suddenly, lips curling up into a smile. it looks almost warm; you didn’t know he was capable of making that kind of expression. ”ah, suguru!” he calls out to the source of the noise. ”no, certainly not. forgive me for the short notice.”

when you turn around, you see a knight.

he’s beautiful. gorgeous, even. fair skin, sharp facial features, no scars to be seen. a sword hangs in a scabbard by his hip, and he’s wearing a set of armor, still glistening with the aftermaths of the rain beating down outside. his hair cascades down the metal like a black river, loose and silky, a single strand obscuring his pretty face. and his eyes are a soothing shade of brown; you’re almost certain they’d look warm, if there was any sunlight to engulf them. as it is, in the shadow of a murky spring morning, they’re a dark cedar, almost obsidian. but they look kind.

and they’re fixed on the king. he’s smiling, too, a dangerous little tilt. disgustingly charming. he hangs his head in a bow, hand on his heart — reverent.

(ah. he’s one of those knights.)

”my king,” the strange knight greets, tongue wrapping around the vowels like a dragon curling around a pile of gold. ”not at all. i’m always grateful for an opportunity to see you.”

(oh god. it’s even worse than you thought.)

”i should say the same of you,” the king echoes, with a warmth that you’re wholly unaccustomed to. your stomach churns, swirling with discomfort. ”our nation’s pride and joy.”

the knight chuckles; muffled by his closed fist. he’s feigning embarrassment, you can tell. ”you flatter me,” he purrs, words flowing smoothly from his lips. too smoothly. ”i’m simply doing my duty as one of your subjects. but, needless to say — i’m honoured to have earned your respect.”

finally, his gaze shifts to you. and you think he must notice how disgusted you are, the reproach you feel for him, that silent contempt. because you aren’t trying to hide it; it’s there, clear as day, in the crease of your brow, your frosty pupils. lips pursed, like they’re aching to bare and to bite.

but he continues to smile. warm, still, like a mellow summer breeze. a well of pizzicato drops.

you feel a little nauseous.

”ah, and you must be the royal heir?” a tilt of his head, knowing. a shimmer of recognition painted in those ashen eyes. ”or should i say…. my liege.”

he walks towards you, in long strides, slow and steady, only to get down on one knee. ew. ”forgive me; my name is suguru geto. your knight, from this day forth.” his palm unfurls, cedar eyes crinkling with feigned endearment. holding it out towards the subject of his newfound devotion. ”i’m delighted to finally meet you.”

(suguru geto. you’ve heard of him, of course. who hasn’t?)

his hand stills in the air, waiting patiently for yours; to bring it to his glossy lips. but you don’t do anything. nothing, other than studying his smile, picture perfect, tailor-made, sweet enough to melt on your tongue. so sweet you know it must be at least a little bit fake — the smile of a liar.

it’s a smile you know well.

so you mimic it, a bitter glint in your eyes, only for your hands to retreat to your pockets. and out comes a purr. ”you’re a bad actor.”

silence. the knight doesn’t flinch, not even close, but he blinks, a flutter of his dark eyelashes. like a raven taking flight. that everlasting smile never falters, but for just a second, a clock-tick or two, you swear you catch the slightest hint of something flickering through his keen iris.

interest?

”forgive them, suguru,” the king is quick to chip in, finally stepping down from his throne to join you on the floor. the queen doesn’t move, but she gives suguru a fond smile, and it makes your grimace deepen. ”they woke up on the wrong side of bed this morning. and they’re a bit of a problem child — i’m sure you’ve heard.”

that makes you snicker, silently. maybe just a little bit smug. you’re sure it must be a headache for him to deal with.

”i can’t say i haven’t,” suguru chuckles, raising himself up from the marble floor. your smile falls. ”but it’s not an issue. i understand.”

he looks at you, really looks at you, and you give him an unimpressed stare. wholly disinterested. trying not to squirm under his scrutiny.

”i’m sure it must feel suffocating — being under this kind of supervision.” he gives you a tilt of his head, strands of charcoal following the movement. smooth, like a waltz, one you didn’t agree to. ”isn’t it?”

ah. the sympathy card.

before you can answer, he bows; hand on his heart. knights and their rituals. ”i’m at your service, my liege. if i make you uncomfortable, at any point, just tell me.” once more, he meets your gaze, a sincerity in his own — reserved just for you. ”really.”

… ugh.

to your right comes a pleased voice, deep and satisfied, as self-affirming as ever. ”i knew i could entrust them to you,” the king speaks, placing a palm on your shoulder. you try not to flinch. ”aren’t you grateful? this handsome, kind man is all yours.”

a sharp scoff is all you can muster, nails digging into the skin of your palm. but suguru only chuckles, good-natured.

they continue to speak, about this and that. you tune out most of it, caught up in preparing for the long headache ahead. sure, you’re an expert at getting knights to quit, but it takes time. weeks, sometimes, just to make them finally crack, push and push until their patience reaches its limit. and suguru seems resilient. more than anything, he seems thoroughly loyal to the king; that really doesn’t bode well for you.

but before you can formulate a step-by-step guide to making his job a living hell, the sound of your name snaps you out of your trance.

it’s the king, of course, as always. you hate that you still instinctively respond to his call. like an obedient puppy. ”show suguru to your quarters. he’ll be accompanying you indefinitely, from now on. don't give him any trouble.” his voice finally sounds cold again; a warning. ”i’ll hear about it.”

(indefinitely.)

a moment passes. then you sigh, deep and heavy, haphazardly hiding a roll of your eyes. ”yeah, yeah, yeah,” you cross your arms. ”i got it.”

suguru meets your furrowed brows with something gentle, a soothing little smile. offering his arm, for you to hold on to. knights and their rituals. ”shall we?”

but you brush past him. stubborn in your independence, in your desire to make this as discomforting for him as it is for you. ”follow me,” is all you say, a dissatisfied huff. loud enough to pick up on.

to your great displeasure, he matches your hurried pace. side by side, as you walk down the halls, the clicking of his shoes echoing against the marble. a shadow you can’t shine away; one that’ll stay with you indefinitely. you feel his gaze burn into you.

”my lord.”

”don’t talk to me,” you sigh, sharp like the sword by his hip. a low click of your tongue. ”just so you know, i didn’t agree to this.”

”that was my question, actually,” he grins, ever so slightly. fingertips tapping against his scabbard. ”i am sorry, you know. i meant what i said — i’m sure it’s difficult for you.” he casts you another one of those meaningful glances, a meaning you have no intention of discerning. ”but i have my orders.”

you bite back a laugh. ”you guys love those, huh?” when you turn your head to face him, still walking forward, he’s met with a taunting smirk. ”your little orders.”

but his smile doesn’t falter. damn.

”not a fan of knights?” he asks, instead, a playful lilt to his syrupy voice. coaxing, accommodating. infuriating.

”nope.” your footsteps quicken — but he keeps up, effortlessly. curse those abnormally long legs. ”you’re all just bootlickers. especially you.”

”oh?”

”don’t oh? me,” you snap, practically growling, ”like you weren’t seconds away from making out with the king back there. it’s all so fake.” the comment makes the corners of his lip quirk up, but you don’t turn around to see it. ”now that you’re alone with me, you’re already acting way less uptight, see?”

he hums. ”i figured it’d make you feel more at ease.”

”god, will you just cut it out?” a hiss breaks out of your throat, sharp and exasperated. tired, drained. you just want to go back to sleep. ”quit acting like you care about what i think. you’ll do whatever the king asks of you — that’s all you really care about.”

suguru stays silent, this time. matching your steps, observing you silently, out of the corner of his eye. the frown on your lips, the crease between your brows. etching them into his memory. you’re pissed, that much he can tell. and you definitely, definitely don’t like him.

(”you’re a bad actor.”)

the knight comes to a standstill. parting his lips, enough for his voice to flow through, silken sheets and molten honey. a raspy tilt he tries his best to hide.

but his words carry a sincerity he could never fake.

”from now on, i serve you.”

when the clicking of his shoes against cold marble flooring fades away, you halt. turning around, hesitantly, quirking a questioning brow. rain beats on beyond the window to your left, flicking against the glass, droplets clinging to the translucent surface. marigold petals kiss the windows in a flurry of cream and orange, fluttering about with the harsh bites of the wind, carried from the castle’s orchard. the endless hallway you find yourselves in smells of rainwater and spring.

suguru looks steadfast, where he’s standing, immovable. a little like a pillar of salt. when he speaks it sounds like he’s reciting a scripture.

”i’m loyal to the king. i have to follow his orders.”

there’s something about his words that you can’t quite pinpoint. is it guilt or pride? ”but i am at your service. certain things are set in stone, but not others. i’ll let you decide how this goes.”

the hallway goes silent. he smiles, again, smaller this time. somehow more genuine.

”from now on, i’m your knight.” the pitter patter of rain mashes with the steady beating of a clock; rhythmic, soothing, a lullaby of rust and time. ”that’s all. i won’t be anything else.”

you stare. lips pursed, awaiting a clarification, but it doesn’t come. he’s giving you time to respond.

(he’s your knight, now. indefinitely yours.)

an inhale. the clock hands of your heart begin to move. ”in that case,” you exhale, lips curling up into a taunting smile. pleased with yourself. ”i promise to be the most insufferable lord a knight has ever had. i won’t make your job easy for you.”

and suguru only chuckles. raspy, like the bark of a tree, claw marks on the ground. ”good,” he grins, eyes rich with mirth, golden pears hanging off the branches. ”i wouldn’t have it any other way.”

he looks sincere. sounds sincere. all you do is blink, a sense of frustration nibbling at your heart, but the knight before you doesn’t falter. he only offers his arm to you, once more; a silent step towards reconciliation.

you watch him, silently.

then you’re turning on your heel, swiftly, a low grumble at the base of your throat. ignoring him and his offer, walking towards your room with irritated steps that fade as you turn the corner.

behind you, suguru’s smile only grows.

”good morning, your highness.”

blinking sleepily, still regaining your ability to form coherent thoughts, all you can do is stare. studying the figure above you, towering over your half-asleep form, the deadpan expression on your face.

black hair, and amber eyes. a disgustingly charming smile.

the gears of your mind finally click into place.

a whine flows from your lips, meek and disapproving, and you roll over to your side. pulling the covers over your head, as if to protect you from the existence of your newly hired knight. so it wasn’t just a bad dream.

but he doesn’t fade away, like an apparition. he stays right by your bed, crouching down next to it. you feel the weight of the mattress shift when he rests his elbow on the cushion. ”still too early?” he asks, soft enough not to grate your sensitive ears. ”i was told you usually get up around this time…”

a muffled groan. ”leave.”

”i’m afraid i can’t,” he hums, but you don’t sense much remorse. ”i’m not supposed to let you out of my sight for more than brief intervals at a time… that’s one thing i can’t compromise on.”

”i don’t care,” you whine, petulant. tightening your grip on the blanket surrounding you, desperate to savour the leftovers of your fuzzy dreams. ”’m not getting up…”

a click of his tongue. quiet, contemplative. until he decides on a course of action.

”would you like me to bring you breakfast, then?”

…

slowly, your eyes flicker open, consciousness beginning to stir. the tasty temptation rouses you from your half-slumber, ever so slightly; because he sounds sincere. he sounds like he really will bring you breakfast, if you just give him the order.

it’s tempting. dangerously so.

(how long has it been since one of the maids actually bothered to serve you breakfast?)

”… whatever,” you croak, finally. weighing the value of your own response — putting effort into not sounding too excited. (but you are.) ”sure. do what you want, just let me sleep.”

a relieved little breath slips from suguru’s lips, as he watches the lump under the blanket stir. ”alright,” he breathes. ”what would you like, my lord?”

(suddenly, you get an idea.)

a smug grin crawls up to rest on your lips, fresh mischief on your mind. ”figure it out yourself,” you chirp, awfully pleased with yourself.

silence.

then, you hear him hum — rising to his feet with a quiet groan. ”understood,” he quips. ”i’ll be back as soon as possible, your highness.”

when you hear the creaking of the door, as he steps over the threshold, you barely restrain the urge to kick your legs in victory. now he’s sure to get you the wrong breakfast; and then you can be as difficult as you please, demanding something else, over and over. an ungrateful, spoiled little brat. that’ll definitely make him quit.

— sadly, it seems you were underestimating him. just a tiny, tiny bit.

before you, on a silver tray, lays a wide variety of breakfast foods. everything from syrupy pancakes and buttery croissants to neatly cut sandwiches and porridge, slices of fruit and fresh lemonade, coffee with cream and sugar, tiny jars of marmalade and jam. sparkling, glittering, begging to be devoured. handmade, you can tell, meticulously crafted by someone who knows what they’re doing. with a gulp, you attempt not to openly salivate — you had no clue the kitchen workers were this talented.

for just a moment, you’re entirely speechless. he really went ahead and got you some of everything.

stumbling for the right words, any words, the only thing that escapes your throat is a meek huff. meant to sound displeased, but coming out just a little awestruck. ”this is… way, way too much. are you insane?”

he only shrugs. a sweet smile on his lips, sharp jaw resting on the heel of his palm. ”well, you wouldn’t give me any specifics,” he reminds you, a bit too smug for your liking. ”just eat what you like. i’ll keep your preferences in mind.”

you want to protest, want to put up a fight. want to resist his charms, his little peace offering.

but your stomach growls, suddenly. loud enough that you’re sure he hears it, but you don’t turn around to see any silent laughter — just picking up the fork, embarrassed, eager to just get rid of the ache in your gut. eager to get a taste of the delicacies in front of you. with hesitance, you cut into one of the fluffy pancakes, slathered with syrup, trying to ignore his expectant gaze. biting into it with your eyes closed.

when the sweet taste curls around your tongue, you physically feel yourself perk up. letting your eyes flutter open, your eyebrows raised, a sweetness that makes you sit up straighter. it practically melts in your mouth, honeyed and buttery, and it takes all your willpower to withhold a blissed out little sigh.

it must be evident, on your features. because suguru sounds amused when he asks; ”good?”

”... better than usual, i guess.”

despite your half-assed attempt at hiding how pleased you are, his ever-present smile extends. ”oh, really?” he leans back in his chair, right next to the bed. exhaling in relief. ”i’m glad. i was worried my cooking wouldn’t be to your tastes.”

…

you pale.

silently, both awestruck and horrified, you look up to meet his teasing gaze. ”wait. you…” a pause. silent, palpable, dreading his answer. ”… made this?”

”yes.”

another pause.

”… like. all of it?”

”mhm.”

your gaze falls down to seek solace in your lap. avoiding his own, biting down on your lip, not quite enough to sting. fuck — you accidentally complimented his handmade breakfast. not off to a great start.

wallowing in your silent loss, you simply dig in; desperate to savour it, despite the lingering taste of failure on your tongue. once you’ve sipped the last of your coffee, foamy and rich, the knight to your right speaks up.

”so, your highness,” he begins. tactful, careful. clearing his throat. ”now that you’ve woken up a bit… and, forgive me if i’m overstepping, but —” he searches for your guarded gaze, playing with the beginnings of a smile. ”i was thinking it’d be good for us to get to know each other better.”

”ugh.”

a chuckle — seriously, does nothing offend this man? — flits past his lips. ”oh, don’t be like that, your highness. don’t you think it —”

”cut it out.” you shoot him a glare, voice set to a shivering tilt. ”stop acting like some perfect servant. it’s so obvious you’re playing it up.” a tiny huff, as you pop an apple slice into your mouth. ”makes me sick.”

”… right. you called my acting bad, before.”

”it is,” you nod, a mocking imitation on your tongue. eyes fluttering shut as you bring a hand to your chest. ”oooh, look at me, i’m so humble and loyal! why, of course i don’t mind being summoned with no prior notice! would you like me to lick your shoes, my sweet king?”

and, honestly, you expect him to get at least a little bit angry. the last guy certainly was.

but suguru laughs, suddenly, from the bottom of his gut — a genuine sound. sunshine spilling from his lips, amusement laced together with the octaves. his eyes are crinkled at the edges, like the leaves of a golden ginkgo tree. ”okay, okay,” he puts his hands up, as if readying for a smooth surrender. still amused. ”i’ll try to be more… unguarded, then. would that satisfy you?”

you give him a look.

he returns it with a smile. ”i’ll take that as a yes,” is all he croons, reaching a hand out. it hangs still in the air, waiting patiently for a response. a familiar sight.

you blink. looking at it, silently, as if trying to solve a puzzle in the pattern of his fingertips.

then you sigh. ”for the last time, i’m not letting you kiss my hand, you —”

”a handshake,” he cuts you off. soft, a tilt of his head; awfully charming. reassuring you. ”no kissing involved.”

a handshake.

(come to think of it, you don’t think anyone’s ever tried to shake your hand before. it’s something you see other people do; maids, knights, butlers. people on equal ground with each other.)

after a moment of silence, you avert your gaze. there’s a slight, slight flush to your cheeks, one you hope stays hidden from his keen eyes. you grumble, intent on not appeasing him. ”… i’m not shaking your hand, either.”

suguru quirks a brow, smile yet to fall, waiting a few moments more until he gives in. ”you are difficult,” he chuckles, and it sounds almost pleased. ”kento was right.”

kento? now, why does that sound familiar…?

”— but that’s okay. i look forward to getting to know you better, either way.” his hand retreats to his lap, pliant. ”eventually.”

”that’s not happening.”

”oh?” you swear that smile of his grows, just a little. a man who enjoys a good challenge. humming, closing his eyes for a brief second, switching tactics as if shifting gears. ”then, tell me — is there anything you’d like to know about me?”

hell no, is what you want to say. and you almost, almost do. eager to move one step ahead of him, stubborn in your desire to scare him off.

but then you remember the tale.

so you still, ever so slightly, and suguru leans forward. by a hair, noticing your expression, maybe, the curiosity simmering in your veins. seeping out, little by little, and even though you know you shouldn’t — you just can’t resist the temptation to ask…

”… is it true?”

he tilts his head.

”the … you know.” you move your hands, a bit, as if hoping they’ll say the words for you. they don’t. ”your sword. did you really…” a pause, as your eager gaze trails down to his hip, the scabbard attached to his belt. and then a gulp.

”… pull it out of a stone?”

a series of silent blinks. then suguru chuckles — dripping with fresh amusement, a glimmer of teeth behind his lips. ”oh, so you’ve heard?”

and, like a pair of shooting stars, your eyes flicker over to meet his. almost gleaming with newfound excitement, a little erratic. ”is — is it true?”

”it’s an old folktale,” he’s quick to intercept. ”gets said about basically every great knight… or, what the public deems as good, anyhow.”

(ah. the humble facade slipped away.)

in a matter of seconds, you seem to deflate, slumping back until your spine meets the headboard. sulking silently. ”so you didn't pull your sword out of a rock?” you huff, mood souring again, a lemony flavour in your veins. ”lame.”

”stone,” he corrects, unperturbed. ”and i'm afraid not.” he gives you another one of his placating smiles, barely concealed amusement swimming in his amber eyes. ”i pulled mine from an oak tree.”

…

”wait, really?”

the gleam in your eyes is back. suguru almost, almost feels bad.

”depends,” he quips, shooting you a lazy grin. ”how gullible are you, my lord?”

(... oh. he was teasing you.)

an embarrassed heat crawls up your neck, rooting itself into the column of your throat, and all you can do to distract him from it is to scoff. sharply, as if hoping just the sound will be enough to cut into his smooth skin. ”whatever.”

suguru continues to smile, crows’ feet by his eyes, something deliberate in his silent stare. so you stumble for something, anything to say.

”also, can you quit the my lord stuff?” you settle on, taking a shallow sip of the lemonade. sour and sweet, nice and chilled on your tongue. ”it’s creepy.”

he blinks. a flutter of his dark lashes, fingers tapping at his bended knee. he looks contemplative, for a moment. ”does it make you uncomfortable?” he asks, tilting his head. ”i can stick to my liege, if that’s better. just say the word.”

”god, you’re so annoying,” you groan, licking the lemony residue off your lips. ”just use my name.”

suddenly, suguru stills. fingertips frozen, for a moment, no longer tapping at his thigh. he traps his bottom lip between his teeth, a hesitant hum crawling up the confines of his throat.

”that….” he trails off, thumb absentmindedly smoothing over the leather of his scabbard. ”seems a little much.”

when you turn to look at him, he seems a little put off. uncomfortable, maybe — or just caught off guard? it’s hard to get a read on him. for someone who smiles so often, his emotions don’t appear very bright.

a pang of something grasps onto your clockwork heart, and a frown pulls at your bottom lip. frustration gnawing at your veins. ”you’re here to service me, aren’t you?” you ask, with a shallow huff. ”just do as i say.”

”well, i still have my boundaries.” suguru leans back, crossing his legs, gazing at you with slightly lidded eyes. ”and, on paper — i’m only here to protect you. the servicing is my own choice.”

a very, very judgemental look. he returns it with a tug of his lips.

”… you really do like being ordered around, don’t you?”

suguru shrugs. playful. ”makes me feel needed,” he purrs, watching you wolf down the breakfast he made.

once you’ve had your fill, he’s quick to gather the silver tray in his steady arms, and you do your very best to hold back from thanking him for the meal. it aches a little, but you can’t give in — you don’t have a choice. you can’t allow yourself to be anything other than the most ungrateful, annoying royal in the kingdom.

anything to snap his clockwork heart in half.

— a week passes with no particular developments. you try your damndest to bother him, but suguru is stubborn. stubborn enough that you’re starting to doubt he’ll ever leave you alone, no matter how much you ignore him, or hiss at him, or whine at him to make you an annoyingly specific assortment of breakfast foods.

he never stops smiling, no matter how bothersome you’re being. the tick-tock of his patience remains unbroken.

(so for now, you figure you’ll just have to adjust.)

a sense of contentment simmers in the open air, when suguru knocks at your door, waiting for a groan and a grouchy come in. it takes you a few moments longer to respond than what he’s used to, and he notes that you sound a little less irritated when you do.

as he steps over the threshold, bowing his head instinctevely, he’s met with the sight of you fully immersed. holding a paintbrush between your fingers, lifting it, movements delicate, self-assured. like it comes to you without thinking. you’re seated right by the window, enough for the would-be daylight to flicker in. as it stands, the weather is still sour.

he walks up to you, as always, never more than a few steps away.

and, for a moment, all he does is watch you. silently, as you dip your brush in smeary cobalt paint, a splatter of colour on the white canvas. melting together with the indigo and obsidian. there’s a certain rhythm to it, a kind of dance between you and your mind and the painting in front of you — not even close to being finished. a dip of your brush blooms into a jaw, a flick of your wrist into a set of fangs. cobalt cream and silvery edges, an imitation of what you saw in your sleep. murky, blurry, a dream-like clearing in the woods.

as you work, a sense of relaxation smooths along your sinuses. coaxing you into breathing out, into letting your clenched jaw rest for a while. turning all your irritation into brushstrokes. into a hungry, hungry wolf.

finally, your knight opts to break the silence.

”you’re quite talented.”

it’s an earnest comment. filled with respect, not the idle flattery you’re so used to. and despite yourself, you can’t help but grin — glowing a little beneath the praise. prideful, smug, almost giddy. he watches intently as your expression shifts, as those fleeting flickers of joy dance along the contours of your cheekbones. as you lap up his praise like the chamomile tea he served you this morning.

suguru smiles. you have a cute side, he thinks. for no more than a mere moment, he finally feels as if he’s getting somewhere; getting closer to breaking that thorny, thorny shell of yours. closer to meeting the little lamb beneath the wolf’s hide.

but your mind quickly catches up to your body, realizing that your lips are curled up into a pleased smile, and you clench your jaw again. mindful not to let him see it. painting makes you far too careless, too unguarded; you have to be mean.

stuck in a bout of frustration, you put a little too much force into the motion of your fingers, a small slip of the hand. but that’s all it takes. suddenly, the smooth, calm sea of fur on the canvas turns violent, a little more unruly, and you withhold a wince. doing your best to mend the damage. flick, flick, across the canvas, as if to appease the hungry wolf.

from behind you, a tiny exhale. laced with a kind of stifled amusement, one that makes you snap your jaw in his direction. brows knitted in anger.

”what?”

suguru clears his throat. ”nothing, my liege,” he hides a smile behind his knuckle. eyes gliding across the murky smear of fangs and fur, interest piqued. ”i’m just curious… why a wolf?”

a huff. briefly, you consider ignoring him, but….

(something in his tone convinces you not to.)

”… i saw one,” you admit, absently, staring at the blue and gray of the canvas. flick, flick. violet, navy, a little more depth. ”in my dream.”

silence. your knight doesn’t respond. surely, he must think you childish; everyone else does. why would he be the exception? why did you tell him anything at all?

a sense of regret mixes with the paint. the weight of a brush in your hand truly does make you careless, doesn’t it?

”… huh.”

a clenching of teeth. you muster the will to turn your head, just to give him a questioning look, a silent aggression. biting before he can. but he’s not looking at you; he’s looking at the painting, the wolf that isn’t quite a wolf yet, just blue and gray on paper. a blur of messy motions.

then he shakes his head. ”no, nothing.”

you quirk a brow.

but you don’t say anything. falling silent, falling back into the rhythm of it all, painting until you grow bored of it. the wolf looks at you both, still thoroughly unfinished, jaw half-painted, no trees or knights to keep it company. solitary, blurry; baring its fangs towards no one at all. a sorry spectacle of teeth.

— a couple days later, as you’re walking through the castle with suguru in tow, still adamantly refusing to curl your fingers around his bicep, a loud crash breaks you out of your hushed banter.

the two of you share a look. it came from farther away, just beyond the next turn, a certain hallway decorated with delicate vases. one the castle maids desperately tried to keep you from, when you were younger, worried about your habit of jumping around while pretending to be some sort of feral animal. worried, of course, about the safety of the porcelain rather than the safety of the child.

it doesn’t take a genius to figure out the source of the sound. and, lo and behold, what waits beyond the turn ahead is a crying boy and a broken vase.

fat tears cascade down his reddened cheeks, silent fear knit into the way his face is scrunched up. he can’t be older than six or seven; one of the maid’s children, you assume, the kind that doesn’t have the luxury of making mistakes. he looks panicked, down on his knees, holding a large piece of porcelain, painted flowers etched into the front.

what a mess.

when the clicking of your shoes reaches his little ears, he looks up at you with wide, shameful eyes. still sitting amongst the littered shards, the spilt water and irises soon to wilt. it reminds you of something, a memory you don’t quite want to recall; a different child, tiny and alone. taught to feel shame at the moment of their birth.

it makes your pace falter, a bit, but suguru moves without hesitation. long, careful strides, one foot after the other.

he crouches down in front of the boy, gentle as he takes the shattered piece of porcelain from his tiny palm. so he doesn’t hurt himself. ”hey, hey, it’s okay,” he soothes, speaking even softer than usual, his voice like a flurry of feathers and jasmine petals. ”are you hurt?”

he’s patient. smiling comfortingly, considerate, grounding, a blanket of wool like the one forming on the border of the horizon. but the child continues to sniffle and hiccup, curling into a ball as if readying for a strike. like an abandoned puppy.

you sigh.

after a moment’s hesitation, you’re stepping forward, figure slipping from the shadows and coming into view. joining the miserable pair, the jagged shards on the marble floor.

there’s a cold, cold look in your eyes when the boy raises his head to meet them.

a flick of your wrist; you wave your hand once, then twice. ”shoo. hurry up.”

he blinks. tears clumping his lashes together, cheeks flushed from the panic of it all. he stammers when he parts his lips. ”b… but —”

”didn’t you hear me?” comes a scoff, harsh, cutting through the air. right through the fear and panic. ”that was an order. just run back to your mommy already.” you cross your arms, shaking your head in disapproval. mimicking the king, though you think it’s lost on your spectators. ”all that crying is making my head hurt, geez.”

a series of hesitant blinks. crumbling beneath your commanding gaze, the child stumbles to his feet, sparing suguru one last unsure little glance before scurrying off. the sigh that slips from your lips is quiet, barely audible, tinged with relief.

when you look down to the floor, you find that suguru is already looking at you; a furrow to his brows. angry, for once. just a tiny, tiny flicker of distaste. you reward him with a cold smile.

(so this is how you get under this skin. cruelty, aimed not towards him, but towards the defenseless.

what a picture-perfect, self-destructive little knight.)

just as the child turns the corner ahead, you hear the echo of a maid calling out from behind you. her voice is dripping with fatigue, exasperation, a flurry of sighs you’ve grown far too familiar with.

”your highness! what have you done now?”

there it is, you think; the curtain call you’ve been waiting for. with a swift turn of your heel, sheepish expression ready to go, your focus shifts onto one sole objective — act annoying.

”walked into a vase,” you chirp, proudly, just the slightest bit theatrical. gesturing dismissively towards the broken spectacle, as suguru raises himself from the floor. ”my bad. not my fault you make them so easy to break, though.”

she inches closer, with a disapproving stare, and you hear a tick-tock in your ear. sensing the limit of her patience. ”i’ll have you know these vases are expensive,” she clicks her tongue. ”do you truly think you can go around breaking whatever you please?”

”… well. i mean… i do kind of own this place, don’t i? or — i will.” you tilt your head, faux contemplation on your features, shifting into a spoiled smile. ”so — technically — i broke my own vase. no harm done!”

”… my lord —”

”quiet.” suguru stiffens, ever so slightly, following your sharp whisper. ”don’t fuck this up.”

he looks at you, silently. not saying another word.

(there’s a shame in his eyes that you don’t turn your head to see.)

it doesn’t take long for the maid to shoo you away, pinching her brow at your carefree laughter, bitter at the prospect of cleaning up your mess. she makes sure to give suguru a sweet smile, though, and doesn’t bother to hide the sympathy in it. sympathy for him, such a handsome, well-behaved knight, forced to service such a brat.

the smile he gives her in return is a stiff one. almost, almost cold. but he bows, and follows your retreating form, until you’re all alone together.

the walk is silent. maybe just a little heavy, as you try to ignore the stare burning into your skin, trying to swallow your own displeasure. it’s subtle, something you learned to internalize long ago, but it’s there; a slight sadness. you don’t enjoy getting yelled at.

a thick silence stretches on, before crumbling into dust. you aren’t sure how much time has passed when a certain velvety voice curls around your senses.

”your highness.”

he’s come to a standstill, again. you really should just ignore him and keep walking. but you still, anyway, following his cue, turning towards him with a look that says what now? — you aren’t sure what to expect. certainly not the sentence that ends up spilling from his lips, like a spring breeze through an opened window, tinged with something you fear may be close to fondness.

(in your chest, your heartbeat tick-tocks.)

he smiles, gentle, with eyes that see right through you. and he speaks.

”you’re actually kind, aren’t you?”

…

”… huh?”

he pays no mind to your stupefied expression. continuing, unperturbed, eyeing you with a look you distinctly dislike — as if he’s trying to glimpse into your mind. ”the vase,” he hums. ”you took the blame, even though you didn’t do it.”

a huff escapes you. face hardening, setting into firm lines. ”that wasn't intentional,” you grumble, defensive. ”i just wanted him to leave.”

but suguru shakes his head. ”you could’ve left when the maid came. but you stayed, and lied, and got yelled at so he wouldn’t have to.” a second passes, silence thick with meaning. intentional on his part. ”is that not what you’d call kind?”

another moment gone, little tick-tocks of your heartbeat counting down. you part your lips, but no sound comes out, as you stumble for words to say. irritation stirring in your veins. or is it nervosity? you think your skin feels a little hot, suddenly.

just what the hell is happening?

”i’m… i’m not — ” you bite down on your lip. harshly. stammering, voice cracking a bit, to your great dismay. ”… not kind. i hate all of them.”

”but you protect them,” he whispers, ”look after them.” his smile doesn’t waver, never ever, but you’ve never seen it look quite this knowing. and suddenly, he’s closing in on you, gazing at you with laughter in his eyes.

you try to stand your ground, wanting nothing more than to flee, curl into yourself, scratch at him until he leaves. but your throat feels so dry, all of a sudden, a sensation that only deepens with the next words he breathes into life.

”a little sweetheart who pretends to be all big and bad…” he eyes you up and down, a meaningful look, raven locks moving as he tilts his head. towering over you. ”is that what you are?”

nothing. no smart reply comes to you. all you can muster is a harsh glare, a low hiss crawling up your throat, like you’re preparing to lunge at him. it serves as a warning, but the amusement in his eyes doesn’t fluctuate. ”you…”

he chuckles. raspy, breathy, a shiver down your spine. ”your acting is even worse than mine.”

”shut up,” you snap, baring your teeth. it comes out almost like a growl, hot and heavy in your veins, and you don’t understand where all this emotion came from. strangling you, bubbling up within your bobbing throat. ”you don’t — understand me, okay?”

no one does.

and that’s fine. you don’t want them to.

(you just want him to stop looking you so fondly.)

”not yet,” he admits, eyes fluttering shut. a thoughtful hum on the tip of his tongue. ”… but i think i’m beginning to.”

he’s looking at you, again, amber and honey and raven lashes, lapping up every hint of a tell in the way you shift from foot to foot. speaking like he knows you, like he’s known you all his life. ”you act difficult — scare everyone away… but deep down, you love them, don’t you?”

a scoff. desperate. ”no.”

”you want to loved,” he continues, not allowing you to flee. relentless in his pursuit of whatever he imagines must be hidden inside your soul, beneath all those layers of frost. ”understood. everyone does.”

”not me.”

”your highness.”

…

the knight continues to look at you, and you avoid his gaze like it could burn you into cinders — like it could turn you into dust. but he parts his lips, anyway, and speaks. so sincere it makes your chest hurt. words that echo through the endless hallways of the castle, against the surfaces of glass that line the walls. words that make your skin flush under the shadows of rain soon to fall.

he smiles, wide, teeth showing. and he speaks.

”that was very, very kind of you.”

silence. so thick you wonder if you’re about to faint, or fall to the floor, or something equally embarrassing. a sentence so simple shouldn’t be making you feel this way, this weird. you don’t understand why it makes you feel anything, anything at all, and you don’t understand why your eyes suddenly feel a little glassy.

(someone saw through the act.)

”… whatever,” you squeeze out, at last, but it sounds a little meek. a tiny puff of air. turning around, sharply, blinking rapidly to shoo the tears away. ”i just didn’t want to hear that brat whining. it was hurting my ears.”

suguru bites back a coo.

as he watches your back retreat, hurrying back to the comfort of your room, he’s almost certain that he’s making progress. that your walls are beginning to crumble, slowly but surely, bit by bit. the path before him clears — a thorny, foggy path through the woods, until a sunsplatter falls on the ground and tells him where to plant his feet.

it’s not much, barely anything, but suguru’s always liked his hunts blindsighted.

you turn a corner, and he follows suit. sparing a passing glance at the clouds on the boundary of the horizon, the sole ray of sunlight breaking through. and then he’s catching up to you with long strides.

(it’s his duty, yes, but he doesn’t think he’d mind it so much — getting to know his kind, misunderstood little lord.)

sadly, disappointingly, to your great shame — you begin to grow used to suguru’s presence in your life. constant, always close behind, always ready to be of service. as infuriatingly patient as ever. it’s a stretch, but you may have become just the slightest bit fond of it.

maybe, possibly, you’ve even silently decided to stop trying to scare him away. stop acting so difficult with him, all the time.

or, well — sometimes.

”take me outside, please?” you whine, bottom lip jutting out into a deep pout, accompanied by a flutter of your lashes.

the voice that spills from your lips is hopelessly meek, pleading, so sweet you’d get cavities if you didn’t know how fake it was. effortless, perfected, your one god-given talent; an irresistible pair of puppy dog eyes.

suguru answers with a smile, tight-lipped. ”no.”

a beat.

”aw, come on,” you whine, barely resisting the urge to stomp your feet. frustration bubbles up inside your veins, trickling down to your wrist, nails digging into your palm. ”why not? you’re supposed to listen to my every command!”

”still no, sweetheart.”

a series of grumbles scratch at the base of your throat, but suguru pays them no mind. patient, patient, patient. he’s even kind enough to ignore the way you pointedly avoid his gaze after the term of endearment slips past his lips. ”sorry, but that part is non-negotiable. you know i don’t have a choice.”

you do know. but it still makes your mood sour, pulls a sigh from out of your lips. he moves closer, familiar silver tray in hand, dragging a chair to where you’re seated by the windowsill.

”i did bring you this, though,” he gestures towards a particular glass bowl, filled with red berries. they shine like rubies in the light. ”strawberries, like you asked for. wasn’t easy to get a hold of.”

he places the tray right next to you, smiling as he takes a seat. ”cheer up, hm? don’t be so grumpy.”

your pout remains, but you do settle down a bit. just the teeniest, tiniest bit. definitely not because he was kind enough to indulge your cravings.

”… thanks for breakfast.”

suguru beams, and you avoid his gaze, like always. biting into one of the rubies, the soft murmur of thanks still burning your tongue, soothed by sweet nectar. he lets you flee, lets you continue on like nothing happened, like it isn’t obvious how much you’ve warmed up to his presence.

”you’re welcome, my lord.”

…

(even after spending more than a month together, he still won’t call you by name. won’t even entertain the idea. why does that bother you so much?)

peacefully, your morning ritual continues. the same as always; you eat, while suguru watches, a sweet smile on his lips. the silence remains until he opts to break it.

today, he sounds a little hesitant.

”say, your highness…” he picks at a piece of lint on his cloak, absentminded. ”could i ask you for a favour?”

you almost drop your fork. gaze snapping up to meet his own, as a few silent seconds tick on by. tick-tock, tick-tock. then you clear your throat, regaining your composure. trying to sound nonchalant.

”what is it?” you probe, cutting across the yolk on your fried egg. watching the orange seep out, trickling down, sinking into the crust of your toast. suguru hums.

”a friend of mine — he’s also a knight…” he wrings his hands together, legs parted. tapping his heel on the floor. ”we’ve been sparring together for a while. once a week, at least. but ever since the king hired me, we haven’t been able to.”

you watch as his gaze flickers down to his lap, then up to you again. it’s smooth, charming, but you still think it seems a little out of place. he must not be used to asking for favours.

”i was wondering if you’d be willing to accompany me? just down to the training fields by the castle.” his fingers tap against his bended knee, slow and methodical, from pointer to pinkie. ”the king gave us permission to spar there, but i’m obviously not allowed to let you out of my sight…”

you bite back a huff. obviously. he waits for a response that doesn’t come.

”… so?”

you meet his gaze, expectant. hopeful, maybe. it’s a nice touch — matches with the amber of his eyes.

”would that be alright with you?” he inquires, again. you think he sounds just a tiny bit unsure of himself.

a moment passes. silently, you look down at your lap. folded hands, itching to do something. something fun, new, exciting.

your tongue forms around a wish. it spills into the air like a shooting star, a meek little whisper. ”… i wanna swing a sword.”

suguru blinks. once, then twice. ”you…” he tastes the words on his tongue, turning the image of you around in his head. ”want to swing a sword?

you nod. glancing at him, coughing a little under your breath. summoning just a bit of audacity, eyes trailing towards the sword by his hip. longingly. ”… i’ll only watch you spar if you let me try it.”

a brief pause. he studies you intently, a mystery he’s yet to solve.

then he chuckles, light and airy, full of mirth. a sound you’ve grown fond of. ”well, okay. that’s fair.” he rises to his feet, smiling down at you. ”thank you, my lord.”

you don’t respond. but your eyes glitter with excitement, as you dutifully finish your breakfast, wolfing it down. waiting patiently for him to head down to the kitchen with the tray, for him to change into his training gear.

when he knocks at your door, he’s wearing a flimsy little blouse. almost see-through, if you squint your eyes enough, exposing his bare skin. you think you see a scar curling up from his chest, reaching for his shoulder, just below it by a hair. and you can see his biceps, the fat, the muscle, practically begging to be bitten.

(tantalizing.)

he’s speaking to you, saying something, but you tune him out. focused on trying to restrain your growing urges. when he reaches up to fix his hair, tied up into a bun, the muscle of his arm twitches.

and, suddenly, you can’t contain yourself.

giving in to the salivating temptation, you grab hold of his bicep, sinking your teeth into it — gentle, but enough that he feels it, enough to leave a set of teeth marks soon to fade. gnawing at it like a dog with a bone.

suguru blinks. pupils wide, quirking a silent brow, quick to smooth over the surprise in his eyes.

you don’t move. teeth planted against the fabric, the firm muscle beneath it, surprising even yourself; his arm just looked so biteable. you wonder if he’s put off. upset.

but, as always, he’s eerily placating. like nothing you say or do could rock the ship of his patience, an endless sea. smooth, airy laughter flits past his lips, giving way to an indulgent smile. he studies you with fascination, like you’re a creature he hasn’t encountered before.

ever so gently, he grabs hold of your jaw — and the warmth of his touch shocks you into letting it go slack. before you can say anything, he’s rolling up his sleeve. exposing the tender skin.

”go wild, your highness,” he grins, offering his arm up like a lamb to a hungry fox. a teasing mirth in his eyes, his voice coming out as a low purr. ”i don't mind a mark or two.”

to your horror — it flusters you terribly.

you cough. taking a step back, averting your gaze, suddenly disinterested. feigning indifference, anyhow; that was definitely a scar. and a cool one, too. you think you might even have caught a glimpse of a birthmark or two.

”i’m… just keeping you on your toes,” you stumble for an excuse, still unable to look at him properly. missing the way he stifles a bout of laughter. ”for your training, y’know? gotta stay on your guard.”

”of course. i appreciate the help,” he quips, fond, as he gestures for you to take the lead. ”he’s waiting for us. are you ready?”

for a second, just a second, you consider grabbing his arm. letting him guide you. but the thought is fleeting, like a bundle of peach blossoms, brushed away by the sunshine seeping in through the window’s glass — illuminating the marble flooring.

a mellow excitement simmers in your bones.

you head down to the training grounds with a pep in your step, and your loyal knight follows suit. just behind, always, wearing a smile you can’t see.

”suguru!”

the man that greets you with cheerful fervour, seated cross-legged under a peach tree, isn’t quite what you expected him to be.

when you heard knight, you imagined someone a bit more… intimidating. but this guy is far from imposing. a little shorter than suguru, brown locks stopping right around his ears, exposing his sunkissed skin. freckles scattered across his nose and cheekbones, a happy little grin curled right around his lips.

he’s cute. a bit like a puppy. not very knightly, though.

”haibara,” suguru greets, a mellow warmth to his voice. the man in question shoots up from the ground, stumbling towards you both, excitement in his hazel eyes. suguru gestures towards you. ”this is the royal heir. the one who doesn’t like having their hand kissed.”

your head whips towards him, an angered flush to your cheeks — you’re almost sure that he’s smirking, giving you a teasing glance, but haibara’s exclamation prevents you from voicing any protests.

”hi!” he beams, bowing deeply, so sudden that you jolt a bit. his head whips up instantly, brown locks stirred by the breeze, voice warm and smooth. like honeysuckle nectar. ”thank you so much for letting us spar, your highness! i’ve heard so much about you!”

”… um.” your gaze falls down to a pebble on the ground. unsure of how to act, murmuring under your breath. ”you — it’s… no need to thank me. i wanted to get some air, anyway.”

he continues to look at you, eyes shining with a pure kind of cheer. glittering, honeyed and sweet, too bright to look at directly. you hear suguru exhale amusedly to your left. he’s looking right at you when you glance towards him.

his hand inches closer to his scabbard, fingertips trailing down the leather. ”should we get started?”

haibara brightens even further, if possible. ”oh, right!” he exclaims. ”you wanted to try swinging a sword, your highness? that’s so exciting! is this your first time?”

a blink. you aren’t really sure how to handle this guy; he’s a bit too sunny to be snarky to. like a fuzzy ball of sunshine given human form, bouncing on the balls of his feet, tail practically wagging behind him. all you can muster is a weak cough. ”uh, yeah.”

”well, you’re here to learn.” suguru speaks up. guiding you both towards the center of the field, hand still at the sword on his hip. ”let me show you.”

in one smooth motion, he’s pulling it out of its sheath, a stripe of silver absorbing the rays of the sun. glimmering, slicing the blue sky in half.

you’re a little awestruck.

and then he’s facing you. leaning forward, with a familiar tilt of his head, offering the blade with a smile. ”do you want to try swinging it around a bit?”

barely containing your excitement, you nod. making grabby hands at it.

that makes him chuckle. he makes no move to stop you when your fingers curl around the hilt, only parting his lips for a quick warning, a split second too late. you take it into your arms. ”careful, it’s a bit —”

— the sword clatters to the ground with a thud.

silence.

haibara breaks out into laughter, sudden, fond and warm, but enough to have your cheeks burning. fresh with embarrassment, humiliation, before you even hear the breathy chuckle that slips from your knight’s lips.

”… i was gonna say it’s a bit heavy,” he hums, closed knuckle in front of his lips and obscuring his smile. ”i’m sorry, my lord. do you —”

”whatever.” a hiss escapes your throat, and suguru winces. he knows where this is going; knows a bundle of thorns just erupted from the stalk of your spine, knows you're about to get defensive. ”like i’d ever want to touch your dusty sword. get — get real.”

he tries again. patient, patient. the familiar tick-tock of his never-ending kindness. ”hey, we aren’t making fun of you,” he soothes, hoping it’ll make your edges soften. like scratching a feral dog behind its ear. ”it’s understandable. you weren’t expecting it. i’ll let you try again, hm?”

a tiny pause.

(you’re being childish, again.)

brows furrowed, hanging your head, you kick at a pebble on the ground. having collected yourself a bit. ”… maybe next time,” you finally speak, still grumbling. after you’ve spent some time lifting weights in your room.

suguru tilts his head. speaking softly. ”you sure?”

”yeah.” taking a step back, you raise your head to meet his gaze. ”i’ll just watch you. it’s fine.”

”… okay,” he exhales. leaning forward to pick up his sword from the ground. ”i can spar with you next time, if you want. you’ll be a pro in no time.”

he gives you another sweet smile, bangs fluttering with the breeze; painted in cerulean sunshine. he’s so gorgeous it makes you angry.

a sharp huff. ”don’t patronize me,” is all you can mutter, meeting the eyes of the knight by his side. standing up straighter. ”haibara,” you call. ”knock him around a bit for me, okay?”

from the corner of your eye, suguru pouts.

but the puppy-knight only grins, as bright as the sun in the sky. ”you got it, your highness!” he salutes, cheeks flushing with giddy excitement.

as you sit on the benches a little farther away, dragonflies buzz in the air. fleeting glimmers of chartreuse and cerulean, chirping happily, keeping you company as you watch the knights spar. the clangs of their blades, the elegance in the way suguru moves. a violent little waltz. he’s sweating, just a bit, but you can see it, droplets glittering in the sun. he looks like he’s having fun.

he looks like himself. like he isn’t holding back, isn’t acting obedient or well-mannered for the sake of pleasing his superiors. like this, here and now, he looks wild, free, a dog that turns into a wolf under the glow of the sun.

for a second, your eyes meet — just as he narrowly avoids a slash.

and he smirks, ever so slightly, suddenly gaining a little more momentum. flashing a brief grin, sunlight reflecting off his white teeth. you huff. heat crawling up your neck.

show off.

”excuse me, your highness?”

the sudden voice snaps you out of your stupor. mesmerized, by the spectacle before you, the glimmer of their blades and the sight of your knight’s smile. it’s an unfamiliar voice, close, close enough that your head turns to meet the stranger’s ugly grin — inching closer still.

(uh oh.)

— just up ahead, lost in their own worlds, are two knights; huffing and smirking and narrowly dodging each other’s strikes. suguru takes the lead, as always, guiding haibara into improving his swordsmanship. but they both learn from it. and it’s fun, lighthearted, a respite from their more gruesome duties.

it’s helped suguru more times than he can count; those tiny flickers of normalcy, in a wholly unpredictable profession. a life of bowing and bowing and killing what needs to be killed.

slash, slash, and then two steps back. the same old dance. haibara’s starting to lose momentum, he notices, adam’s apple bobbing with his heavy breaths.

so suguru stills. ”alright, that’s enough for now,” he calls, stretching idly. craning his head, looking around him absently. he wonders if you’re still watching. ”i think i see what the problem is.”

haibara perks up, obeying without a word, wiping the sweat off his forehead and walking towards his friend with a sunny smile. ”okay, great!”

but suguru isn’t looking at him, anymore.

he’s looking towards the benches, where his little lord is seated, speaking to an unfamiliar man. one who currently has his hand on their forearm, caressing it. you look guarded, irritated, a little like you’re about to bare your teeth. trying to pull away, but he doesn’t let you. and suguru recognizes that look — the one that means you’re about to start biting and hissing, inching your claws into whatever’s within reach.

(not to injure, but to ground yourself, he’s learned. like how you clutch onto the fabric of your clothing when you’re nervous, sink your nails into your palm. not to injure, but to feel safe.)

in the blink of an eye, he’s making his way towards you. beckoned by his duty, his natural instinct, a protective itch that curls around his ribcage and crawls up his throat. large strides, much swifter than usual. he moves without thinking, and he’s there before he has the time to form a coherent thought.

with as much gentleness as he can possibly muster, he grabs hold of the stranger’s arm. smiling, tight-lipped, cold. ”excuse me, sir,” he greets, ”i need to borrow them for a moment.”

the man meets his gaze with a sour look. bitter, ugly, oddly possessive — like he thinks he owns the arm he’s holding. it makes suguru want to teach him a lesson, show off his sword, but he resists the temptation in a way you never could. his expression is a warning, though, enough to scare most rowdy drunkards and snobby royals away.

and it works. the stranger looks to you, briefly, before finally letting go of your poor arm. something rigid in suguru’s jaw finally relaxes. ”who are you?” comes a question, as the man turns to face him with a look full of contempt. ”their knight?”

before suguru can say anything, you’ve hopped off the bench. clinging to him, with a firm nod; your arms around his bicep. ”yeah. he is.”

(suguru fails to stifle a smug smile.)

with a string of bitter mumbles and a silent frustration, the man scurries away. hesitant, only after being met with another warning glance from the knight in front of him. intimidating, far less subtle, towering above him like a predator over their prey.

as soon as he’s out of sight, your knight turns to you, scanning your face for signs of discomfort. loyal, attentive. ”are you okay?” he asks, a silent shame in his voice. if only he had noticed sooner. ”did he do anything to you?”

you shake your head. ”it’s fine. probably one of the king’s friends — stops by every now and then.” a sigh, a little fatigued, following your explanation. ”they’re mostly harmless. just creepy and touchy.”

”that doesn’t sound very harmless…” suguru lets you pull away, quick to hide the disappointment that flashes in his eyes as you do, waving haibara off with a silent gesture of give us a minute. ”don’t worry. i’ll keep an eye out, from now on.”

still a little guarded, you nod. letting suguru guide you by the small of your back, taking a seat on the solid bench once more. together, this time.

”there are a lot of those types around the town square,” he exhales, weary, stretching out his limbs before leaning forward. elbows resting on his bended knees. ”they’re a pain to deal with. i’m sorry you have to.”

”are there?” you ask, tone laced with curiosity. ”in the town?”

”well, i’m sure you’ve heard. that place is a bit of a mess, these days…” a click of his tongue. ”more work for the knights.”

a dragonfly settles on the bridge of his nose. suguru blinks, smiling gently, until it flutters away with a raspy squeak. fading away, melting into the blue paint of the sky. you bite down on your lip.

”… i haven’t.”

he turns to look at you. raising a brow.

”i haven’t heard about it at all. the king told you, right?” you meet his eye with a rueful smile, before leaning back, nose turned up towards the sky. for a second, you think the air smells a bit of rain. ”i’m not allowed to go out into town.”

your knight falls silent.

so you continue. grinning, with no humour to it. maybe a bit eager to overshare, to break the silent rules you’ve been given. the secret tastes like honey on your tongue. ”i’m a bastard child. he probably told you that, too.” you wouldn’t be surprised. ”thinks it's optimal for everyone involved if i just stay cooped up in the castle.”

closing your eyes, your voice drips with something close to longing. barely above a whisper. ”i haven't been to the town in a couple of years, now.”

…

he only hums. ”i see.”

(there’s sympathy, in his amber eyes, but you don’t turn around to see it. you don’t turn to look at him until he’s finished sparring, and haibara’s about to leave.

you wonder if he’ll meet your gaze the same way as before.)

— that evening, suguru knocks at your door right as you're about to fall asleep. three rapid knocks, the same as always, knuckle against wood. rousing you from your rest.

when you open it, he’s holding something out towards you.

”here,” he says, voice set to a mellow tilt. upon closer inspection, he’s holding a bottle. transparent, see-through, stuffed to the brim with sea glass. smooth little colourful pebbles, green and blue and pink and orange, like frozen little camellias. ”for you, my lord.”

blinking sluggishly, you take it into your arms; holding it up in front of your eyes. when the light of the moon flitting in through the curtains hits it just right, it blossoms with colour, sparkling with every shade you’ve ever seen. shining like a heap of jewels, in your hands, like something out of a picture-book. magical.

it’s mesmerizing.

”i asked haibara to get it from the town,” he explains, drinking in your expression of awe. ”this one lady — she collects them herself. i see her by the beach nearly every time i go there.”

when you look up, his smile is serene. peaceful, if just a little bit tired. but he looks pleased, lips curling around silky syllables. ”i thought of you.”

it’s odd, you think. you aren’t a stranger to gifts; you get most of what you desire if you just say the word, an easy way for the king to keep you compliant. as if to make up for the plethora of experiences you’ve missed out on since your birth. and you’ve had more than a couple suitors, men and women, eager to gain your favour.

but this — this particular gift…

…

”it’s pretty,” you murmur, finally, unable to voice even a sliver of the emotions clogging up your chest. shying away from his gaze, feeling your heart pulse against your ribcage. ”… i guess.”

suguru just smiles. always, always, always. no matter what you do. ”i’ll get you something else next time,” he promises, ready to go back to standing guard outside the castle. ”get some sleep, okay? be good.”

and you can’t bring yourself to protest. not even a tiny huff of don’t tell me what to do. you can’t bring yourself to do anything but nod, soft and pliant, still gazing at the bottle of sea glass in your hands. like you might turn into one of those transparent pebbles, if you wish for it enough.

that night, you dream of waves crashing against sand, the taste of seafoam on your tongue. every colour in the world. a newfound, reawakened wish — a wish to see more of it.

”are you trying to sneak out again?”

owlishly, all you can do is blink. propped up on the windowsill, immersed in the process of tying pillowcases and bedsheets together to form a rope. caught in the act — by none other than suguru, standing by the threshold, hand on his hip, watching you with silent disapproval. you didn’t think he’d come check on you this late.

a gulp. ”… no?”

and he sighs. walking towards you, brows furrowed, running a hand through his raven locks. you can tell he’s trying to be a little more sympathetic, this time, but it only makes the bitter taste on your tongue thicken.

”look — i know it’s not fair to you, but the king and queen specifically ordered me —”

”i get it,” you cut him off, with a hiss, a little harsher than you meant to. you soften your voice before continuing. "i know. okay? i know.”

resigned, but frustrated, you clench the silken material of the bedsheets. glaring at them like it’s somehow their fault that the queen couldn’t bear an heir, that your father has a knack for sleeping around. like it’s their fault that he’s so ashamed of your existence that he doesn’t want you integrating into society on anything other than his own terms, until he’s dead and gone and doesn’t have to take accountability anymore.

like it’s their fault that it’ll always be like this, forever, that it’s better not to hope for more.

(why can’t you just accept that?)

the knight before you exhales. troubled, watching your nails dig into the fabric, watching the way you bite down on your lip and rapidly blink. all signs of your frustration, your sadness, that you always try so hard to hide.

”hey. how about this?” he tries to get your attention, voice soothing enough to coax you into raising your gaze. ”i’ll tell you a story instead.”

he stifles a chuckle, at the dubious look you send his way, teetering on the edge of a glare. slithering towards you. ”i’ve seen a lot of places. i can tell you about them, if you’d like.” he takes a seat right next to you, on the windowsill, a slice of the moon in bare view. ”what do you want to know?”

you’re silent, for a second. gnawing at your bottom lip, in contemplation, the tiniest bit of nervosity. like you aren’t quite sure if you’re allowed to speak your wishes aloud.

”… the woods.”

suguru blinks. a little caught off guard.

his silence makes you want to bare your fangs, a bit. misinterpreting it as judgement. your voice comes out cold. ”what?”

but he’s quick to smooth over his features with a smile, as always, cocking his head amusedly. ”sorry — i was expecting you to say the sea, or something,” he stifles a chuckle. “it's the woods that you're so curious about?”

you pout. ”… you can see them from here.”

his head turns towards the window’s glass, squinting his eyes to see the sea of dark green in the distance, a cluster of thick trees. he hums. ”yeah, you can. well… that particular spot isn’t too bad. not many bandits or beasts.” your gaze stays glued onto his lips, every word that spills from them. ”there are wolves, though. this side of the kingdom is crawling with them.”

”they sell their fur,” you state.

(that’s one thing you do know. you spent more of your childhood around wolf pelts than your own parents. they might as well be your legal guardians.)

suguru nods. ”they do. it's a big portion of the kingdom’s exports… general market, as well.”

a frown tugs at your lips. you think of your fluffy childhood guardians, unable to howl or even make a sound; hunters turned decorations.

”isn’t that… kinda fucked up?”

he smiles, revealing no emotion. ”do you think it is?”

you only shrug. ”i’m not surprised that they eat us.” you think of all the stories you’ve heard, the fairy tales you grew up with. ”… if i was a wolf, i’d hate humans too.”

”would you, now?” familiar amusement, seeping from his tongue, soft crows’ feet by his cedar eyes. ”good thing you aren’t a wolf, then. we’re lucky.”

”mhm. you’d be my first target.”

that makes him chuckle, a little deeper this time, and you drink in the glimpse you get of his teeth, the fondness that dances across his face when he looks at you.

a sudden urge overtakes you.

”… i wanna know about something else.”

”oh?” he tilts his head, soft locks framing his kind eyes. ”and what would that be, my dear?”

”you.”

…

for a moment, the mask falls. a silent, subtle kind of surprise, something in the way the tips of his fingers twitch that tells you he’s caught off guard. it coaxes you into continuing, following through with your question. swallowing the embarrassment. ”i wanna know more about you. how you became a knight, and… stuff.”

suguru looks at you with a strange glint in his eyes. undecipherable, unspoken, just watching as moonrays glide across your soft skin. ruffling your hair.

a hum buzzes in his throat. he scratches at the back of his neck, resisting the urge to dodge your question. clicking his tongue. ”… well.”

anticipation blooms in your eyes, and you cross your legs, waiting patiently to hear him speak. he can’t deny you, when you look at him like that — so suguru simply exhales. a breath of indulgence.

”it’s not a very interesting story,” he leads, closing his eyes in remembrance. ”they scouted me when i was pretty young…. a bit of a troublemaker, honestly, but i got lucky." memories flash behind his eyelids, fresh bruises, sliced fruit. bittersweet. ”ended up around some powerful people. they liked me. knighthood felt like the right choice.”

he meets your entranced gaze, speaking with sincerity, devotion dipped in honey and holy water. sinking deeper still. ”it’s my purpose in life,” he breathes, a flurry of whispers on his tongue. heavier than either of you know. ”truly.”

you cock your head. ”being a knight?”

”protecting the weak,” he says. recites. like he’s said it a million times before, in the face of beasts, in the reflection of broken mirrors, a mantra to live and die by. ”protecting those who can’t protect themselves.”

the look in his eyes frightens you. deeper than the deepest lake, dark and murky, dragging him down. a devotion that smells of iron, tastes like steel. mania disguised as loyalty.

(knights love duty. almost as much as they love dying for it. that’s what your father always says.)

”but, honestly — this kind of thing isn’t bad,” he breaks you out of your trance, grinning sheepishly, almost boyishly. ”it’s been a while since i had so much fun on the job… thank you for that.”

he’s looking at you, right at you, into your eyes, with an expression reserved for you and you alone. earnest, grateful, a sincerity he wouldn’t show anyone else. ”honestly.”

you can do nothing but avert your gaze. swiftly, meekly, feeling heat crawl up your neck, blooming across your cheeks like the branches of a plum tree. suguru grins, gulping down the slightest coo — but he can’t resist the urge to poke fun at you a bit.

”… you’re a shy one, aren’t you?” he searches for your gaze, chuckling when he doesn’t find it. when you don’t let him. ”can’t even look people in the eye if they’re being nice to you… how precious.”

”oh, shut up,” you groan, glaring out into the night sky. blinking slowly, drowsily, biting back a yawn that your attentive knight still manages to notice.

(he looks a little enamored.)

”ah… is my sweet little lord getting sleepy?”

”no,” you scoff, far too quick. ”i’m… tired.”

”of course.” he reaches out, carefully, to tuck a loose strand of hair behind your ear. ”tired — not sleepy. that would be outrageous, wouldn’t it?”

a yawn. ”it would.”

low laughter bubbles up at the base of his throat, like seafoam, melting roses. deep and summery. ”alright. that’s enough stories for tonight, i think.” and with that, he gets up. ”let’s get you to bed, hm?”

rubbing your eyes, absently kicking your legs, you give him a slow nod of your head. making grabby hands at him that you’re sure you’ll be embarrassed about in the morning — but it feels easy, to be greedy, to know that your wants won’t be ignored when you’re with him. ”carry me, suguru.”

an indulgent smile. he doesn’t say anything, only curling his arms under your thighs, lifting you up and cradling you to his chest. you can feel his firm muscles, like this, trace them with your fingertips, hear the beating of his heart. tick-tock, tick-tock. a lullaby. a sense of safety, when you can’t tell where your heartbeat ends and his begins.

lost in that fuzzy, sleepy feeling, a blink away from falling into dreamland, fatigue washes over you — but you cling to his sleeve, even as he tucks you in, dragging the blanket up to cover you properly.

”suguru,” you murmur, so quiet you doubt he hears it. ”will you tell me more stories tomorrow?”

”of course.” right before sleep coaxes you into its cradle, you feel the weight of his palm on your head; ruffling your hair. ”as many as you want, your highness.”

he smiles, as your eyes flutter shut, at the soft little breaths that flow from your lips. before he slips out, he blows out the candle on the nightstand, a silent prayer that your dreams will be kinder to you than his.

— one week of nagging later, suguru’s resolve finally crumbles. it’s progress, at last, a tiny crack in his clockwork heart.

but for once, it works in your favour.

”do you really want to see the outside world that badly?”

he’s got an arm locked around your waist, stopping you from one of your numerous escape attempts. you’ve gotten bolder, sneaking away the moment he takes his eyes off you, but suguru isn’t easy to fool — catching up to you just as you stepped outside the castle, now stuck in place under the portico. it’s to be expected, with that sixth sense of his, the one that seems to alert him as soon as you think the thought to get him in trouble.

but you still can’t help but pout, huff and puff, pushing at his chest in a helpless attempt to break free. he’s sweet about it, gentle, but entirely unmoving. like a big, annoyingly handsome rock.

”what do you think?” you scoff, narrowing your eyes at him. ”no, of course not. this whole time, i’ve just been trying to escape for fun. like, as a bit. how could you tell?”

he rolls his eyes, and you break out into a grin. ”mind the sarcasm, please.” he barely resists the urge to pinch your side; letting you loose, instead, trusting you not to scurry away. he’d catch up to you instantly, anyhow. "i’m just saying, it might not be as interesting as you think —“

”what are you, stupid?”

”what did we say about letting people finish their sentences?” he raises a brow, stern, and you try not to cower. rolling your eyes instead. suguru just sighs. ”i understand why you want to leave. but you have a good life, here. better than most.”

”… i know that,” you grumble, biting down on your lip. a resignation in your eyes that your knight can't protect you from. ”i just —”

you sigh.

”it’s just so suffocating.”

suguru falls into a contemplative silence. weighing his options, studying the flicker of emotions in your eyes, the tapping of your idle fingers. hands eager to fidget with something.

moments pass, one at a time, a familiar lullaby of pitter patter ricocheting off the ground just outside your vision. the air smells of marigolds, burning wood, wet concrete. the beginnings of summer.

finally, he makes up his mind.

”… okay, okay.”

when you look up from the ground, what awaits you is an outstretched hand. a familiar palm, and a familiar knight, with a familiar smile on his face. ”but don’t get used to it, alright?”

…

you part your lips, but no sound comes out. gaping like a fish out of water, hunting for the right words. suguru waits. patient.

”w — hold on,” you stutter, eyes blooming with hesitant hope, studying him intently for any signs of trickery. ”you mean — seriously? like, for real?”

he shrugs. ”it’s my duty to keep you happy.” devotion clings to his tongue, sweet indulgence. ”figure i can make an exception this once.”

another moment passes.

(there isn’t a hint of deceit in his features.)

a grin breaks out across your lips, like a joyous bolt of lighting, and you lunge into his chest — throwing your arms over his broad shoulders, jumping up and down, planting a wet kiss against his cheek. bubbly, giddy, heart racing with disbelief. you don’t even have it in you to be a little bratty. ”thank you, thank you, thank you!”

suguru makes a choked out noise, a little comical, breath hitching in the back of his throat. stabilizing you with a palm on the small of your back, patting it softly, once or twice, before retracting his arm and pulling away. clearing his throat. ”… you’re welcome.”

(his ears burn a cherry red.)

”but this is our little secret,” he reminds you, firmly, collecting himself. or trying to. ”got it?”

”yep.”

”if anyone asks, you —”

”yep, yep, understood.” you brush him off, still grinning brightly. ”don’t worry! i won’t tell a soul, i promise. swear on my mother’s grave!”

your knight exhales. worried, maybe, a little exasperated — mostly just trying to mask how infectious your joy is. how addicted he is to it, now that he’s seen it up close. he’s only caught glimpses in the midst of your painting sessions; to see it directed at him instead of the wolf on your canvas is a treasure he won’t soon forget.

sneakily, stealthily, like a pair of bad dogs, the two of you begin your journey to the woods on the horizon. wearing cloaks, sticking together, until the sun begins to set and the sky drains of colour.

and before you know it, it’s right there in front of you. a narrow path into the woods, a cluster of trees, a world you’ve always dreamed of. dark and gritty, beautiful, brimming with bugs and sights yet to be seen. creatures you could only ever see in picture books. a dreamlike world that takes shape before you, like paint splattered on a canvas, as you follow suguru’s lead — right behind him, clinging to the fabric of his cloak, excitement flooding your veins. heart thumping erratically in your chest.

when you’ve made it to a tiny clearing, you stop in your tracks. suguru’s holding a lantern, a flicker of orange in the dark green world before you, attracting fuzzy moths. proud trees stand tall all around you, keeping guard, mushrooms and forget me nots scattered across the dewy patches of grass. keeping them company.

everything smells of life, earth, oak wood and thinly veiled secrets. you want to live here forever.

suguru turns to look at you, noticing the way you’ve stilled. completely mesmerized, bewitched, eyes gleaming with childlike happiness. he tuts, doing a bad job at hiding how pleased he is. the sound makes you meet his eye.

”careful,” he croons, inching closer. fingertips ghosting over your wrist, right above your pulsepoint. ”could be wolves around. stay close.”

you tilt your head, feigning confusion. ”i’ve already got one right next to me, though?”

the comment earns you a flat expression, unimpressed, and it pulls a giggle from out your throat. the corners of suguru’s lips curl up, unwillingly, as he shakes his head; exhaling a tired breath. exasperated.

then he hums. ”well, at least you're aware.”

suddenly, he’s walking forward, slipping away, cold air replacing the buzzing warmth of his skin on yours. hot blood, ever flowing, hidden within his veins — pumped out from his heavy heart. it’s there and then it’s gone. tick, tock, one step after the other, until he’s turning around to face you again. unfurling his outstretched hand, waiting for you to grab hold of it.

his long hair sways with the breeze, smooth and unburdened, black like the night sky above you. a starry glint in his eyes. his voice comes out deep, a raspy lilt, like the scraping of metal against concrete.

when he smiles, you think you catch a glimpse of sharp teeth.

”will you trust this wolf to keep you safe?”

under the web of shadows cast by the trees, barely illuminated by the shivering moon, all you can do is watch him. his gleaming eyes, the curl of a toothy grin on his lips. a knight, a wolf, a friend.

your protector.

finally, finally, you grasp onto his offered hand. his fingers intertwine with your own, a puzzle finally solved, and his palm feels a little calloused. skin littered with tiny scars, years of training and killing, but it’s still somehow so soft. nice and smooth.

he’s warm. and now he’s smiling at you, like you put all the gold of the world into his palm.

”yeah,” you grin, a little cheeky. stepping closer, clinging to him without restraint, knowing he’ll indulge you. ”keep me safe, wolfie.”

his laughter rings out into the air like a cicada song, sweet and nostalgic. or a howl, maybe. it makes you want to gnaw at his bones; memorize his taste, so you’ll never quite be without him. it’s not your fault he looks so chewable when he’s smiling like that.

”i will,” he promises, vows, pledges, hand on his heavy heart. knights and their rituals. ”you don’t have to worry about a thing. not while i’m here.”

and you don’t. you know you don’t. because suguru is the greatest knight, the coolest wolf, and his clockwork heart never ceases to tick. it won’t break under pressure, no matter how much you push — so you don’t bother holding back. wrapping both arms around his bicep, cozying up to him, tugging at his cloak with a pep in your step.

”c’mon, c’mon!" you beckon him forward. "i wanna see how everything looks up close.”

and he just lets you manhandle him, for a bit. following your lead. ”of course,” he croons. ”your wish is my command, your highness.”

the night stretches on, seemingly never-ending, like the branches of the oak tree you find in the heart of the woods. broken, beautiful, stretching out in all directions — as if wishing to engulf the world. a garden of forking paths, covered in jagged bark, but still somehow so warm to the touch. you’re sure there’s a heartbeat in there, somewhere. maybe a couple of swords too.

all good things must come to an end. but you refuse to leave the comfort of your mossy haven until suguru promises to bring you back, someday, maybe, if you play nice. it’s a deal that you’re willing to take.

only then do you begin your journey back towards the castle. having gotten your fill, for now, left to wallow in the newfound sights etched into your memory. still clinging to your knight like a child with their favorite doll, babbling into his ear about something or another. about how you’re almost sure you saw a wolf in the bushes, about how pretty the cicadas’ songs were. how you’re gonna convince him to take you there every single day.

the sun is yawning, stretching its endless limbs out, getting ready to rise and envelop the world. the sky is a calm blue, soon to be painted orange and pink, but you aren’t tired at all. you must sound a little incoherent, but suguru nods along to your every word. listening attentively.

so kind. so patient. sure, he’s a tease, and more than a little patronizing — but you don’t think you’ve ever liked anyone this much before. it’s weird. it’s fun.

(you wonder if he feels the same.)

”hey, suguru?”

he keeps his eyes locked on the road ahead, but still spares you a brief glance, just to let you know you have his full attention. a second of hesitance is all your sleepy brain allows you, curiosity enveloping most of your functioning thoughts.

”would you… i mean. if i was, like… a different person —” you pause. suguru quirks a brow, and you suddenly feel a little flustered. ”um, what i mean is! like, if the king ordered you to be someone else’s knight… would you protect them like you do with me?”

he blinks. once, then twice, meeting your hopeful gaze. stifling a yawn, and parting his lips.

”obviously.”

…

your face falls. lips dropping down into a soft pout, rich with disappointment, paired with a barely audible huff. suguru furrows his brows, playfully, smiling in the way he always does when he’s about to tease you.

”ah, my bad,” he croons. ”were you expecting something else? a… forbidden romance, perhaps?”

before you can begin to protest, warmth rushing to your cheeks, he stops walking. dropping down on one knee, dramatically, with a flutter of his cloak. theatrical.

gently, he grabs hold of your hand, bringing it to his lips as his eyes flutter shut. you bite back a squeak. his voice comes out low, sultry, honeyed — so heavy with emotion that it’s obvious he’s faking it. ”the only person i yearn to protect is you, my liege,” his breath feels hot against your skin. ”i could never love another. i exist for you, and you alone.”

suddenly, he’s smirking. you feel it against the knots of your knuckle, right before he cracks a single eye open. glimmering with deep amusement. ”… is that better?”

and you huff. sharply, doing all that you can to avoid getting flustered, his heavy gaze burning right into your own. it really, really doesn’t work. ”you’re so mean.”

”not mean,” he chuckles, rising to his feet. dusting off his cloak. ”i’m just… managing your expectations, my lord. they’d have my head on the chopping block if i so much as touched you without their consent — you know that.”

another little huff. ”i never said i wanted you to…”

(you do, though.)

suguru hums. ”i’m your knight,” he reminds you, as always, until you get tired of hearing it. steadfast, irrefutable. ”that’s all. remember?”

something bitter settles on your tongue.

but you nod. ”that’s right,” you hum. ”mine.”

a teasing mirth flickers through his eyes, like the first setting sunrays reflecting off cathedral glass. reverent, dyeing the world in all the colour it asks for. and he chuckles, raspy, amused. ”possessive little thing…”

that’s right, you remind yourself. he’s your knight. your lying, teasing, playwright of a knight. always wearing a mask, hiding behind a suit of armor, playing one role or another. only baring himself under the light of the sun, when no one is around to see. he’s infuriatingly patient, endlessly loyal, the greatest bootlicker you’ve encountered in your life. but he’s kind, too. maybe a little too kind.

and he always, always kneels.

such a large man, all toned muscle and tall stature, broad shoulders and a firm chest — kneeling at your feet. like a loyal dog. with a rustle of armor, a flutter of fabric, a sigh and a smile. as soon as you ask for it.

”c’mon. let’s hurry back,” you hear him say, biting back another yawn. ”before anyone finds out i kidnapped you. don’t want me to get in trouble, do you?”

”i kinda do.”

a silent look. unimpressed. it’s the most sincere expression he knows how to make, and also the most comical. ”careful,” he looks ahead, hiding his amused smile. ”wolves eat bratty heirs, you know? better stay on my good side, your highness.”

a bout of sleepy giggles. you curl an arm around his bicep, putting your weight onto him, but he doesn’t stumble. ”sorry, mr wolf! please, by all means, eat my dear father instead.”

”don’t be disrespectful.”

”sorry,” you quip, entirely unapologetic. ”i forgot you had a crush on him. that’s my ba — ow!”

suguru brushes by you, walking forward, hiding his growing grin. leaving you with an ache in your hip and two wide eyes.

”hurry up, my lord. we don’t have all day.”

”wha — you pinched me!” you stumble after him, barely containing your quiet delight. ”they’ll have your head for this, you know!”

silent laughter. you don’t need to hear it to know that it’s there, just ahead of you, tucked into crows’ feet and a curl of his lips.

suguru always kneels.

but, sometimes, he talks to you as if you’re equals. sometimes he takes the lead, pinches your hip, tells you off a little. teasing, patient, but there’s an edge to him that he doesn’t always hide. sometimes, he lets you see it, and you figure that must make you at least a little bit special.

sometimes, he feels like your best friend.

careless, careless, careless.

how could he ever be so careless?

everything blurs into a puddle of red. murky, sticky, everywhere all at once. all he sees is red, all he feels is burning. his heartbeat pulses at the base of his throat, bottom lip bruised and aching from hours of sinking his teeth into the flesh, over and over — every single nerve of his body running on adrenaline and nothing else.

(adrenaline and fear, maybe, but they’ve always been synonymous. never one without the other.)

the slaughter is mindless. suguru knows that’s how they like it, anyhow — knights aren’t supposed to think. they don’t need to.

suguru certainly isn’t. cutting his way through the bandit’s den, practically growling, sword painted such a dark shade of red that he doubts he’ll ever be able to wipe it clean. harsh slashes, pure instinct, wildfire inside his veins, iron on his tongue.

suguru isn’t thinking, he’s hunting. sniffing like a bloodhound. eyes scanning the area before him like a hungry beast.

suguru is hunting — for you.

and when he sees you, at last, tied up and barely conscious, he’s almost certain he’s going to grow claws, fangs, matted fur. that he’s going to turn into a beast beneath the fading moonlight.

but he falls to his knees, instead, like a wounded dog. throwing his burganet off, with a clatter, crawling closer. heaving breaths, untying you with shaky hands, greedy fingertips hunting for a pulsepoint —

and only when he finds it does he allow himself the luxury of breathing again.

when you come to, veins dragged down by a fuzzy sensation, your vision is blurred. foggy, dull colours on the canvas of your mind, gradually washed away as you struggle for control. you stir, and finally see the figure above you.

what you see is a knight, a wolf, a beast beneath the moonlight. a kind, kind man.

suguru.

bloodied armor. sweaty, messy hair, sticking to his forehead. pure panic in his bloodshot eyes. he cradles your face, cold metal on your cheek, dirty and smelling of iron. he moves his mouth; you delude yourself into thinking that his bottom lip is trembling. forming around familiar vowels.

he’s saying your name.

there must be something wrong with you, you belatedly realize. the last one to do so. because you’re hurt, scared, but you still feel a skip of your heartbeat.

(he finally said it.)

you muster all the strength at your disposal, eyelids fluttering. and you try to answer, you do, reaching for that thread between your brain and your tongue — but it comes out as a garbled little thing, more air than noise.

it’s enough. the tense crease between his brows melts away, and he sighs.

”oh, thank the heavens.”

another sensation. he’s touching your hand, now, cold metal on warm skin, bringing it up to his lips; a shaky little exhale brushing against the knots of your knuckle. his lips are chapped.

then he’s scooping you up, cradling you close, as close as metaphysically possible, as if willing to cut his stomach open to fit you inside. a firm grip, comforting, stable. desperate, a mother wolf carrying her cub to safety, by the skin of her teeth. his hair tickles your skin, but you don’t mind.

only when he brings you back to the castle does everything fall into place. he explains everything, as you sit in bed, still recovering. a sudden attack, from within the castle, a kidnapping. some enemies of the king, a scandal to do with you and your blood. something, something, something. you’ve grown used to not understanding why you keep getting hurt.

and you’re too distracted by the sullen face of the knight in front of you to pay attention.

suguru wasn’t there to stop it — wasn’t there to save you, be your knight in dashing armor. the king had invited him to a game of chess, and you had been adamant in your refusal to join them.

so you don’t understand why he’s apologizing.

he’s smiling, but it’s weak, as flimsy as a piece of paper. his lying smile, tight-lipped, betrayed by the redness of his eyes, the puffy skin beneath them. dark crescents. he sits by your bedside and looks a little like he wants to curl into a ball.

”i’m sorry.”

and ah, you think; there it is. guilt. always, always clinging to him, a ghost haunting him wherever he goes. it’s been there since the beginning, in the scar reaching for his shoulder, the nature of his never-fading smile. guilt, guilt, guilt. you wonder if he's ever gone without it. you wonder if knights begin to crumble when they stop feeling ashamed.

he looks sad.

with a breathless inhale, you part your lips. you want to tell him that he has nothing to apologize for, that you’re fine now — that you could never be mad at him. not really, never truly, never at him. you want to tell him that he’s your favorite person, not just your favorite knight, that he’s allowed to make mistakes without demanding that he suffer for them.

you want to tell him that it’s okay, really. seriously.

but all that leaves your lips is a meek little sniffle. as the shock of it all finally settles, sinking deep into your bones, the fear of being captured, the dull ache of your skull meeting the ground. you can’t tell him any of the things you want to, and you feel so awful —

because suguru’s face falls. like you just thrusted a knife into his sternum and twisted it. he looks like he could cry, too.

”i’m sorry,” his voice cracks, right down the middle. like a broken vase. ”i’m so sorry.” it’s not at all what you want to hear, but you can’t tell him that either. he’s bundling you up before you know it, dragging you into the comfort of his chest, one large palm on the back of your head; tugging you closer still. he smells of soap and oak wood and peach blossoms. ”it was scary, wasn’t it?”

and you nod. into his neck, wet tears brushing against his skin. not stable enough to act tough. you don’t think he is, either.

suguru exhales, shaky, clutching you like he could lose you if he lets go. lose himself. he knows you’re scared, but you let him soothe you.

it means something, he thinks. it means something that you let him come so close, closer than anyone’s ever been. so he swallows the guilt until it’s no longer clogging up the back of his throat, if only so his voice can flow out through the gap, give you the comfort you need. just rubbing your back until you calm down, apologizing silently — over and over again. manic, like the tick-tock of a clock.

until your voice breaks him out of it.

”it’s not your fault.”

he stiffens. still holding you, feeling your heartbeat settle down, hearing your voice break out of your throat. it comes out as a weak croak, with just the slightest hint of disapproval.

he gulps.

”don’t worry about me, right now,” he hushes you. a silent plea. ”i’m not the one who’s injured.”

”suguru —” you sigh, almost a hiss. ”i hit my head. once. that’s all.” you wipe away the wetness of your cheeks, biting back a sniffle. ”… you’re acting like i’m fucking dying. cut it out.”

(for once, he’s relieved to hear that sharp edge of your voice. it means you’re feeling better.)

a weak inhale. ”… they kidnapped you. it must’ve been terrifying. please, just…” and a tired exhale. ”please just don’t strain yourself.”

”it wasn’t your fault.”

…

”your highne —”

”i’m serious.” you’re pulling away, suddenly, clasping onto his cheeks with your tearstained palms. squishing his face together. ”it wasn’t your fault. it was mine.”

he shakes his head, eager to protest, so you squish his cheeks with more force, and shake his head for him. like a misbehaving dog. ”nope. if you even think about apologizing, i’ll start crying again.”

he lets out a huff. frowning, sadly, a downcast pair of eyes.

”don’t pout. i’ll bite you.”

it’s slight, barely even there at all — but you think the corner of his mouth twitches upwards, just by a hair, exhaling through his nose with just the slightest hint of amusement.

he places his palm over yours.

a moment passes, slow and steady, both of you catching your breaths. calming down, letting the fear of it all seep out of your aching bones. you hope the warmth of your skin against his soothes him as much as it soothes you.

”… you know, your highness,” he murmurs, softly. meeting your puffy eyes with his tired pools of amber gold. ”there’s something i never told you.”

you blink. he continues.

”just the night before the king reached out to me… i had a dream.” he musters a weak, exhausted little smile. ”dreams… i don’t have them very often. and when i do, they’re nothing good. but this dream…”

his eyes flutter shut. a curtain closing, a raven taking flight, the tick-tock of a heartbeat. you can’t look away. ”it stuck out to me.”

silence.

your voice comes out soft, like the bedsheets beneath you, the man before you. a tiny breath of a question. ”… what was it about?”

he smiles. smoothing a thumb over your knuckle, reverent, as if memorizing every ridge and dip.

”a fox.”

…

”it had…” his hand slips from the small of your back, reaching for your cheek, pinching it gently. ”a cheeky smile.”

your skin heats up, beneath his touch. and you blink, not saying a word, because there isn’t any need to. all the words you could ever want have already been painted out.

(well, maybe not quite all.)

”suguru.” you lean close, just a little, drinking him in. and he listens, as always, so you don’t bother beating around the bush. swallowing any embarrassment your tired mind can still feel. because your knight is right in front of you, eyes still red from crying, and you want him to be happy. “i think you’re my favorite person.”

he stills.

then he burns up.

”wha — where did that come from?” he stammers, a strawberry hue to his ears, his neck, the tips of his fingers. enveloping him like a blanket of warmth.

you only shrug. ”you told me the truth. figured i should return the favour, for once.” a giddy, exhausted smile. “we’re both awful liars, huh?”

suguru opens his mouth. then he closes it, again, desperate to collect himself. you think he must be a little too exhausted to, and you wish you could say you felt bad. ”you… you can’t just —”

he squeezes his eyes shut. sighing. giving up, the gears of his mind grinding to a halt. your grin blooms wider.

”hehe.” you poke at his flushed cheek, and he cracks a single eye open. ”you’re blushing.”

he huffs, leaning away from your touch, and you find yourself enjoying the reversal of your usual roles. very much so. he tries to smile, tries to get one up on you, but he only blushes a deeper shade of red once your words reach his ears.

so he settles for using cheap tricks.

”you’re hallucinating,” he scoffs, shoving your head into the fluffy pillows all around you. ever so gently, listening to your muffled giggles. trying to stifle his own joy. ”go back to sleep.”

”my blushy knight,” you coo, and he drags the blanket over your head. biting down on his lip to stop himself from joining your bubbly laughter, blushing more than ever.

(the word knight sounds very pretty, when it’s falling from your lips.)

”i swear,” he exhales, heavy and exasperated, but you can hear the smile in his voice. ”just what am i to do with you?”

it’s fond. delicate, even in his bouts of teasing, the light instances of manhandling. and you’re happy, because he’s not apologizing anymore, and he’s happy because you aren’t crying anymore. give and take. there’s a rhythm to it, a point where everything else becomes background noise, whether it’s memories of a kidnapping or a decade-old guilt.

he stays with you all night, even after you’ve fallen asleep. just watching you, safeguarding you, checking your pulse every now and then. content to watch as your chest rises and falls, with the tender ticking of your heartbeat.

that night, you dream of a kind, kind wolf, and a painting yet to be finished.

before you lies a field of stars.

you’re seated on a blanket, with a pretty knight to your left, up on top of a grassy hill. daffodils bloom around you, sweet nectar hanging in the air, a field of sunflowers waving at you from below. dragonflies greet you with a scratchy song.

everything is perfect. a midnight rendezvous, a picnic under the stars — suguru’s own idea. to celebrate the time that you’ve spent together.

(well, that part was your idea. but you’re sure he appreciates it, too.)

the basket next to you is filled with fruit and berries, marmalade and jam, bottles of herbal tea. suguru’s delicious sandwiches. you bite into one of them, humming happily, and he’s quick to brush the occasional crumb from the corner of your lip, ghosting over your skin with a smile.

there’s another basket, too, just in front of you, that you brought on your own. hiding a secret; one you're just about to unveil.

you clear your throat to get his attention.

like clockwork, he’s looking at you. listening, when you tell him to close his eyes, only giving you a questioning raise of his brow and an amused exhale.

you’re quick to lean forward, uncovering the basket, revealing the secret you’ve hidden so well. suguru is still waiting, indulgent, patient. you feel a little hesitant, but still part your lips.

“… okay. you can open them, now.”

he does. instantly, two ravens taking flight, and the sight that awaits them is that of a painting; a painting of a wolf, in the middle of the woods, empty armors and wilted sunflowers all around it. dragonflies and dragonflies, a knight just out of view.

he stares, silently, and you do your best to hide your growing nervosity. even as he takes it into his lap, and your gaze falls to the blanket below you. ”it’s… not my best work, but —” his eyes stay glued onto the painting, as you stumble blindly for the right words to say. wringing your hands together, clutching at the fabric of your sleeves. ”i’d… like you to have it. i mean, unless you —”

”thank you.”

you raise your head.

suguru is gazing at the canvas with the softest pair of eyes you’ve ever seen. melting amber, crinkled at the edges, accompanied by a sweet grin.

”i’ll treasure it,” he vows, meeting your eyes, voice dripping with warmth. hand on his heart, and you can’t even poke fun at it. ”always.”

his earnest acceptance is enough to fluster you, enough to make you feel as it your heart is about to collapse, but he continues to look at the painting with enough awe to fill an empty lake with water, and it makes you terribly shy.

until his smile drops.

”uh, actually — i…”

now it’s your turn to stare, silently, as he fumbles with something in the basket at his feet. gentle, as he takes out glass jars and wrapped sandwiches. out comes a sheet of paper.

then he’s clearing his throat. handing it to you, pointedly avoiding your gaze. ”i’m not an artist, so you know. i just…” he coughs, a little out of his element. “well. here.”

with delicate hands, you accept it, bringing it down to your lap. big, curious eyes taking it in.

it’s a sketch — made with coal, a little smudged, but awfully charming. pretty, delicate.

it’s a sketch of a fox.

wide-eyed, all you can do is stare. gaze flitting up to meet his own, his nervous expression, before falling back to the little canine. ”you — this…” back and forth, over and over again. ”for — ?”

you point to yourself.

suguru only chuckles. ”yes, it’s for you. who else?” he taps the pads of his fingers against the handle of the basket, watching you silently admire the mischievous fox. not saying anything; so he continues.

”like i said; i’m not an artist. you can always throw it away, if you’d —”

”i’m gonna frame it.”

…

”i'm gonna frame it,” you repeat, eyes shining with sincerity. a little manic. ”i’ll hang it on the wall of the castle hallway so everyone can see it. it’ll be there for centuries to come, passed down —”

”please don't —”

”d’you think a gold frame would fuck up the vibe? maybe a modest silver is best.” you turn to face him, ignoring his blatant embarrassment. ”oooh, hang on! father knows this guy who makes them with real minerals. i’ll just —”

”your highness,” the knight cuts you off, almost with a squeak. ”please. it’s just a dumb drawing. i just… wanted to give it to you. that’s all.”

a pause. you look into his eyes, flickering with hesitance, an earnest desire for your approval only. so you hum, albeit a little hesitant.

”… alright. if you say so. i’ll hang it in my room, then.”

he sighs; relieved. ”that’s better. really, you —”

”thank you.” you whisper, blinking away the wetness at your lash-line. staring at the sketch with a dreamy, dreamy smile. ”i love it.”

you grin, happily, practically beaming. suguru wants to keep it there, always, on those pretty lips; he wants to lay his life on the line to protect it. but something tells him that would just make it fall.

finally, everything clicks into place. the air fills with the scent of herbal tea, fresh strawberries, acrylic paint and hushed whispers. your own ritual, repeated over and over, like a loving waltz.

as always, it’s suguru who breaks the silence. shatters it with the tip of his tongue.

”hey,” he calls, softly. “my lord.”

mouth full of bread, you simply look at him. chewing silently, attention piqued. swallowing with a gulp. he places his folded hands on his lap, exhaling a little breath. ”… i’ve been thinking.”

”uh oh.”

silently, he gives you one of those flat, unimpressed looks of his, and you quiet down with a grin and another mouthful of bread. he quirks a brow, exhaling amusedly, then shakes his head and continues.

”i retract my earlier statement.”

when you glance up again, he’s smiling. showing more teeth than usual, a little wider, a little wolfish. a little more himself. you want to paint it, keep it hidden away somewhere only you can see.

”if it was someone else — anyone else…” he trails off, tasting the words on his tongue. “i doubt i’d feel this way. i doubt i’d want to protect them as fervently.” his voice flows out like a river of gold, just a little scratchy. it always is, when it sounds this sincere.

he meets your eyes, and everything falls into place.

”you’ve become precious to me,” he admits. ”i can't remember what it felt like to not be yours.”

his tongue curls around a familiar set of syllables, and your name seeps from his lips like a prayer, a vow, a trickle of honey and wine. devotion sticks to his tongue, to the vowels, a heavy fondness — something devout. something you've only ever heard from the mouths of priests.

and then he’s smiling.

”i think i’ll be your knight until the day i die,” he breathes, and deep down you know it’s a vow. “even if the king discards me of that title.”

silence. except for an increasingly loud mantra of tick-tocks, from the depths of your own chest, echoing in your ears. your knight is in front of you, and he’s yours, and he’s smiling like he loves you. like he always will.

”… suguru.”

he hums, eyes lidded, blinking slowly. serenely. he lets you cling to him, pull him close, practically dragging him into your lap.

”stay with me,” you plead, nuzzling into the crook of his neck. too desperate to feel embarrassed. ”forever. promise me.”

an exhale, right by your ear. it sounds so fond you could cry.

“i promise,” he whispers, fingers intertwining with your own. a perfect puzzle piece, a functional clockwork. lifting your hand, bringing his glossy lips to your knuckle; where they belong. ”until death tears me away from you.”

”it won’t,” you deadpan, partly to distract him from the growing heat of your fingertips. mostly because it’s true. ”you won't let it.”

he smiles against your knuckle, breathing out an airy laugh. ”clever little thing…” his free hand goes to rest on your spine, as always, and you lean back to see him properly. knowing he’ll catch you if you fall.

“.. but yeah," he sighs. "i won’t.”

before you know it, you’re leaning back in. because his eyes are the warmest shade of brown you’ve ever seen, and his hair is just a little tousled, and he looks so kissable it aches.

his jaw trembles, a little, when you press your lips against the curve of it. his whole body seems to still, for a moment, and you pull back just to see if he’s blushing. he is.

but he must have anticipated your teasing, because he’s tucking you under his chin before you can see it through. pressing you close. and he tuts, a click of his silver tongue. ”… you little tease,” comes a whisper. ”how am i supposed to hold back now?”

”don’t hold back, dummy,” you grin, muffled against the column of his throat. you just barely resist the urge to sink your teeth into the skin. ”you’re a bad actor, anyway. the worst.”

and he is. he’s been looking at your lips this whole time — he couldn’t be more obvious if he tried.

suguru laughs, breathy, overflowing with fondness. chest rumbling with the noise, blending together with the rhythmic thumping of his clockwork heart. ”okay,” comes a soft lull of his tongue. ”i won’t, then.”

a drowsy feeling overtakes you, just as you feel his lips meet the crown of your head. it’s not much, but it’s a start. and it’s tender, tender enough to get you choked up, to get you to close your eyes to stop any tears from forming. because one person in this kingdom understands you, and he tells you that he’ll never leave. and you think you can actually find it in you to believe him.

one person’s clockwork heart never breaks for you, and maybe that’s enough to convince you to stop trying to push it there.

”you can sleep, if you’d like,” is whispered against your hair. soft, soothing, his palm on your spine. ”i’ve got you. always.”

(one person in this world can make you feel safe, with just four little words. and isn’t that something?)

so you doze off, on the shoulder of your very own knight. your favorite knight, always and forever, a sword at his hip that was forged to protect you. or so he’ll tell you, years from now, when he’s got you in his lap, when there isn’t any need for him to act anymore.

and you dream a perfect dream. a dream of a wolf, and a fox, and a garden of stars.

#TYSMMMMMMM FOR READING MY BELOVED I FEEL LIKE I HAVENT SAID THAT ENOUGH #ILYILYILYYYYY #im gonna read ur rb forever and ever im never stopping #it rlly did make me feel so so warm so happy so giddy Hhhhh IMM SENDING U ALL MY LOVE IN A BOX #💕💕💕💞💖💗💗💓💗💓💓💖💓💗💓💓 <- love beam yuuta style #watch out its heading ur way #i hope u have theeeee most wonderful day ever ever ever take care of urself and rest up too pls !!!!#ALSO BEFORE I FORGET never ever apologize for making these too long …. thats a warning 🔫#like i promise u could literally put a whole 20 page essay in my notifs #and the ONLY reason i would be even remotely upset is bc i dont have money for a ring rn 😞😞#ily i appreciate u always and forever <3 mwah #self rb !!

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